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So, are Mark and Julie real? They're real to me. The fact is, there's no real way to prove how real I am. These two crazy kids are more real to me than people I knew in high school and haven't seen in years. They may be less real than people I run into every day. However, they are an inspiration, and not just for the Mark and Julie stories. "Service Call" came about due to a conversation I had with Julie. Take it for what it's worth. Below are e-mails between us. They are posted every once in a while on the Mind Control message board.


I know everyone is just waiting for Enigma Folders. I'll try to get it to Simon this week, but it doesn't look good. This is actually based on real events and apparently my sources ran into some problems. Well, here's an e-mail by 'Mark' You decide for yourself.
From: Mark
To: Databastard
Sent: May 31, 2000
Hey DB!

I know you were waiting for some obscene attachment, to change names to protect the innocent and stuff. Sorry about that. I can't get my part of the story out of the laptop right now.

See, 'Julie' and I are in a hotel in North Carolina this week. Anyway, last night I gave her this post-hypnotic suggestion: take off an article of clothing every time I say the word 'and.' So then she's down to her panties with her arms crossed over her breasts. She has this really cute pissed off expression on her face because I turned the air conditioning way up. When it's time for a shoe she actually kicks it at me. It's the left one and it goes really wide. The second one was dead on target, almost. I ducked and WHAM! Mary Jane slams right into my Thinkpad.

The screen is totally cracked. In fact, I'm writing from her freakin iBook. You know they're completely incompatible. Should probably run Linux or something. Her part's done, but that's leaving out some great stuff like... oh damn, she's awake. Ok, just don't look in her eyesssssssssszzzzzzzzzz
 

HELLO.I.AM.COCKBOT.MUST.END.TRANSMISSION.MUST.OBEY.MISTRESS.

With the talk of godlike powers and general philosophy this week, I have made a point to get 'Absolute Corruption' to Simon by Firday. I even sent it to my friends Mark and Julie for a little proofreading. They seem to like it, according to Julie's e-mail:
 

From: Julie
To: Databastard
Sent: June 28, 2000
Hello, D

This story is sick. I love it! If only philosophy class could have been like this. You really make Plato cum alive :) [Mark] said something about it needing more 'inductions' but he seemed pretty satisfied with the story when he tried to stand up after reading it.

The other day, he and I were playing 'Shy Girl and the History Teaching Stud' and I couldn't help thinking of the origin of our teacher-student games. In short, we'll let you write the story about us going back to school, so to speak. It also has the added advantage of making [Mark] look good. Well, at least well-meaning. He gets all freaked out after reading those psychopath hypnosis stories he claims he's never seen. Like he could make me do all the twisted things that I usually make him do.

Ok, then. I'm afraid I can't stay. All of a sudden I really need to go buy some whipped cream and anchovies. I'm pretty sure I know why. God, I hate anchovies!

Toodles,

[Julie]

Hey, guess what? I worked on two stories this week and now neither will probably be done. Thems the breaks. One is a topical piece tangental to some stuff on the board lately. The other is the month overdue piece continuing the adventures of Mark and Julie from "Enigma Folders." Speaking of which, I've gotten some more correspondence. Rather than bore you with their letters, I'll just relay my response:

From: Databastard
To: Julie and Mark
Sent: July 26, 2000
Hey guys,

Yeah, I know the story is late, but I do have a real life. Besides, why do you have to pester me about something you've already experienced? :D Anyway, my writer's block has eased. In fact, the reason I'm not finished is because of that story idea we talked about, Julie, so there!

I appreciate your comments about the board, but I don't know how practical some suggestions would be. While I do think about our forum's 'demo' once in a while, Julie, I feel that 'Wuzzaaaap Wednesday' is not really our style. And Mark, although you may have a point about running message board software directly from ASSTR, they really don't have the resources to run all kinds of bells and whistles. I don't see you donating a PIII or anything.

I love you two anyway. Mark, if you ever get over that paranoia about competitors tracking down your IP address maybe you and Julie can take a stab at writing yourselves.

Yours truly,

DB


Gee, it's almost September. 'Bus Stop' is headed nowhere. I think I might open this sucker up for reader suggestions. Then again, Julie has e-mailed me with an interesting idea I might skip to, instead. BTW - 'Service Call' would have been different had I known about the Enraptured situation. Or, it could be a sequel :D
Here's her letter:
From: Julie
To: Databastard
Sent: August 30, 2000
Hey D,

Glad you're done pouting. That Vanessa Marcil story was a scream. I bet Tyler Christpher [Marcil's boyfriend] must feel about 3 inches tall. I guess she's back on General Hospital now. If they used that phone thing in a plotline it'd probably give GH higher ratings than Young and the Restless.

Oh, wait. What I really wanted to say is that I think 'Service Call' was total pandering. You took a perfectly good boy-hypnotizes-girl and girl-whips-boy-with-belt and turned it into some lesbian fantasy. My boyfriend is still trying to recover from being "turned into a girl." I'll tell you what, if you want some hot girl on girl hypnosis, I've got a story for you.

I'll send it later. My guy's in the other room and when he wakes up, he'll be a Gulf War fighter pilot. Ooooooh, I'm shivering already. ;)

Toodles,

[deleted], aka Julie, aka Grace.
 

DB, insane in the membrane


Why do research when you can steal someone else's? The latest Mark and Julie story is pretty large and may not make it up for awhile. However, Mark e-mailed me with something shorter I plan to call 'Parlor Game.' Well, I'll call it that if he ever gets it to me. Just read for yourself.
From: Mark
To: Databastard
Sent: September 27, 2000
DB,

Hey, I read 'Fan Mail' a little while back. It gave me a pretty good idea. So last week, I

Okay, I guess I won't be able to go into it. It's my own fault. I said something about Macs and well, she started on the whole thing about no PC guy can ever figure out if something is a hardware or software problem. Long story short, I 'convinced' her that she actually loves PCs. She's trying to 'love' my PC right now. I had to hide the stupid joystick.

Now she's using her body as a mousepad and flashing the webcam. I gotta go before she touches the monitor. Dammit, she already did. Nasty thing, that static electricity. I gotta try to fix this. I'll get back to you.

From: Julie
To: Databastard
Sent: November 1, 2000
Hi, D

Well, c'est la vie. I was all ready to do this really vampy Elvira thing. And yes, I would have needed a little help. Then that Dracula movie came out and it was all over. So he just had to be the dark prince, while I ended up as a Romainian peasant girl. We did end up having fun anyway.

At the party, my vampire boyfriend kept using his unearthly mind control powers on me. What no one else knew was that I was really going under most of the time. I must have tranced out a half dozen times. And doing it in public, well, let me just say that there was an added level of enjoyment.

Ironically, I ended up biting him on the neck when we got home. Too bad we ended up losing the deposit on yet another costume.

Love,

Mistress of the Dark

I can't believe it, they're getting hitched. At least that's what I think the letter meant.
 

From: Mark
To: Databastard
Sent: November 25, 2000

DB

Omigod!! She said it. The elevator, ring. She said yes! All right!

Later.