Party Pooper

by Arthur Saxon
[email protected]

�Hey Chris.�

�Hey Matt.�

�Great party.�

�Yep.�

�Here, pass me one of those beers, will you?�

�Here you go.�

�Thanks.�

�So did the twins leave?�

�Uh-huh. And Jay and Heather.�

�What time is it?�

�Half past three.�

�Shit.�

�What�s the matter? No lectures tomorrow��

�Yeah, I know. I was planning to have breakfast with Trish tomorrow though.�

�Yeah? Any special reason?�

�Well, my reasoning is, get in good with Trish, maybe I�ll have a shot at Lisa��

�Heh � good luck. Lisa�s a cutie.�

�Yep. She is.�

�So � I learned a new game tonight.�

�What sort of game? Video game?�

�Nah, just a game. It�s called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.�

�Huh?�

�It�s like � give me two actors.�

�Actors?�

�Yeah � just name two actors.�

�Uh � Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.�

�Nah, too easy � they�ve been in a movie together. The idea is that I have to connect them through movies.�

�Well � should be easy then.�

�But the point is to make it hard! Give me another two � but unrelated.�

�Uh, what the fuck. Jim Carrey and � Charlton Heston.�

�Okay � good. Let�s see now��

��You still thinking or have you gone to sleep?�

�I�m thinking! Give me a minute.�

�Okay� Waiting patiently��

�All right. Jim Carrey was in The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, okay? With Kate Winslet.�

�If you say so.�

�Kate Winslet was in Titanic with Bill Paxton. Bill Paxton was in Tombstone with Charlton Heston.�

�I don�t know Bill Paxton.�

�Oh come on! You must know Bill Paxton! Aliens! �Game over, man, game over!��

�Oh, okay. That guy. So why�s the game called Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? You didn�t use Kevin Bacon and you did it in less than six steps.�

�Doesn�t matter! That�s just the name of the game.�

�Okay, well let me have a go.�

�All right. See if you can connect � John Wayne and Alyssa Milano.�

�Jesus, Matt, has she even been in any movies?�

�Of course she has! Poison Ivy 2, Commando, Below Utopia � and the most erotic movie of all time, Embrace of the Vampire��

�I haven�t seen any of those. Give me someone else.�

�Fine! John Wayne and Uma Thurman, then.�

�Now you�re talking. Let me think��

�Guys! You�ve got to come and see this!�

�What?�

�Hey Todd. I thought you�d left already.�

�No man, I was having a joint out back. But then I went to the toilet, and � well, I won�t describe it for you � you just have to come and see for yourself! Come on!�

�Jeez, what�s got him all excited?�

�Dunno, but he has way too much energy for this late at night.�

�Well I suppose we�d better go and see what all the fuss is about.�

�After you.�

�Why thank you kind sir.�

�Come on guys � up here!�

�We�re coming!�

�Sheesh Todd, what�s the big deal?�

�In there � look!�

�Ugh, what�s that sm� oh my God!�

�What the fuck � who is that?�

�It�s Amber � Jess�s friend.�

�Shit, dude, hadn�t we better call an ambulance or something?�

�Oh my God! She�s not � dead, is she?�

�No she�s not dead! Fuck! What do you take me for? No, she�s just sleeping it off.�

�In a pool of her own vomit. That�s not healthy, dude!�

�Jeez, she must have been in a bad way if she missed the toilet from like six inches away!�

�And check out her panties! Have you ever seen so much shit?�

�I�m trying not to look!�

�Oh don�t be such a wuss, Matt.�

�Eww, Chris, what are you doing?�

�Just getting a closer look. Sheesh � she must�ve really emptied herself out! And this is some pretty solid stuff � it can�t possibly have just slipped out accidentally.�

�Eww! I don�t want to speculate on how it happened!�

�But can you imagine? She must have come up here, totally wasted, pulled up her skirt��

�What there is of it��

�Tried to sit down, missed��

�She wouldn�t be in that position if she�d done that. She must�ve tried to throw up in the toilet first, but slipped off the side or something.�

�Does it matter?�

�And then I guess she just � well, needed to �go���

�And squeezed out a few juicy fat logs��

�Ugh, seriously you two, stop! The point is, what should we do?�

�Jeez, Matt, I don�t know � just let her sleep it off?�

�In a pool of her own vomit? That�s pretty harsh, dude. We should help her!�

�How? Don�t even think of putting her to bed here. Stan would totally freak.�

�Well where�s Jess?�

�She left with Ross.�

�And left Amber here? Nice friend��

�Yeah, really. But maybe they came in Amber�s car.�

�You think so? Would Amber have got this drunk if so?�

�Who the fuck knows? Obviously Amber�s judgment was somewhat impaired��

�Well I can take her back to Jess�s dorm, if that�s where she lives.�

�Probably. You wouldn�t mind, Chris? Are you okay to drive?�

�Yeah, I�ve been going easy on the drink. Plus, it�s not far.�

�Well be my guest then. But don�t expect me to help � I�m not touching her.�

�Great, Todd, gee thanks.�

�Hey, she�s not my problem.�

�It�s okay Matt, you and I can manage her � she�s not exactly an elephant.�

�Shits like one though.�

�Nice, dude� Okay Chris, I�ll grab her feet if you grab her arms.�

�You tard � just how is that going to work? We�ll lift her up by her arms, get our heads under her armpits, and then walk with her between us.�

�Oh okay � but we�ll have to clean her up a bit first.�

�Agreed. Grab some toilet paper.�

�Ugh, she�s got vomit all down her arm.�

�Just wipe off what you can. I�ll do her face.�

�Well I�m going to leave you to it. Goodnight, both of you.�

�Night Todd.�

�See you tomorrow, Todd.�

�Ugh, this is nasty. What are we going to do about all the shit? I refuse to clean her ass.�

�Hopefully it�ll stay in her panties. Don�t worry � I�ve no desire to clean her ass either.�

�All right then. Well, I guess that�s good enough. Let�s get her up.�

�Okay. On the count of three. One � two � three!�

�Sheesh, she�s heavier than she looks!�

�Is that her purse? Better grab it. Come on � Amber? You awake, honey? Can you walk at all?�

�Mmmfmm��

�I�ll take that as a no��

�Careful on the stairs��

�Yup � slowly Matt!�

�Jeez � even her feet bumping down the stairs isn�t waking her! Just how much do you think she had?�

�No idea. She probably ought to go to the hospital � get her stomach pumped��

�Yeah � want to drive her there?�

�Not really. I guess I�ll just stay with her a while and make sure she�s okay, once we get her back to her dorm.�

�Uh-huh � you�re not planning on taking advantage of her, are you?�

�Dude! Seriously!�

�All right all right, I was just kidding.�

�Okay, can you get the door?�

�Yup � hang on. Okay��

�Whew, temperature�s really dropped out here!�

�Where�s your car?�

�Over there, next to the tree. Ack, keys keys keys� Aha!�

�So where do you want her? Passenger seat?�

�Fuck no � in the back. We�ll put her on her side so she doesn�t mess up the seat.�

�Good idea. Here, I�ve got it.�

�Thanks. Okay Amber, in you go. Careful Matt! Watch the seat!�

�Okay � it�s hard! She�s heavy!�

�Matt I swear if I didn�t know you were on the football team, I�d seriously wonder about you��

�Knock it off � I�m stronger than you.�

�I should hope so! Okay, just lay her head down��

�So how are you going to get her out at the dorm?�

�Well I kind of hoped you�d follow me in your car��

�I can�t drive! I�ve had way too much to drink!�

�Shit � well what were you planning to do? Stay the night at Stan�s?�

�Yes!�

�Oh. Well I suppose I�ll just have to manage.�

�Good luck!�

�Thanks. Night Matt.�

�Night Chris.�

�Well, looks like it�s just you and me, Amber. You just lie still back there, while I � come on, you rustbucket� Okay, off we go. You okay back there, Amber? God, I hope you don�t throw up in your sleep and choke� For that matter, I hope you don�t throw up at all. Don�t worry, we�ll soon be at your dorm�

�All right, here we are. Jeez, place is totally silent. God knows how I�m going to get you out of there, but let�s have a go� Oof! Come on � that�s it� God I hope none of that shit is getting on my seats� Out you come � there! Whew! Man, just let me get my breath back�

�Amber, come on, wake up honey. I need you to walk a bit� Fuck! I swear Amber, if a bomb hit this place, you�d sleep right through it� Jeez, Matt�s right, you are heavy! Fuck!�

�Hey there, need a hand?�

�Oh hi! Yes please! Got to get this one to bed. She�s had way too much to drink.�

�Is that Amber?�

�Yup � you know her?�

�Sure! Well, a little. She�s not exactly a friend. But I�ll help you get her up to her room.�

�That�d be awesome � thank you. Yeah if you just get on her other side� Wait, can you grab her purse from the back seat first?�

�Got it. Ugh, did she shit herself? She stinks!�

�Yeah, we found her lying in her vomit with her panties full of shit � it was pretty gross.�

�Damn! Are you sure she�ll be okay? Shouldn�t she go to a hospital or something?�

�She�s just asleep � but I am a little worried about her choking in her sleep. I was thinking I might stay with her overnight.�

�Are you a friend of hers?�

�No � I barely know her. But I�ve kind of assumed responsibility for her, and I�d feel bad if anything happened. I�d be happy to hand over to one of her friends if we can find one.�

�They�re probably all in bed, but we can try. Oh good, the lift�s still down here. Damn, she really stinks, doesn�t she?�

�Yup. What floor?�

�Three.�

�Okay.�

�So do you go to school here too?�

�Yeah. Sophomore. I rent an apartment with a couple of friends.�

�Cool. I�m thinking of renting too, next year. Is your place close?�

�Three miles or so.�

�Okay, just along here. Room number 314 I think. Can you see if you can find her keys in her purse?�

�Hang on. Yup, got them. Let�s see � that�s not right� Aha � what do you know, this one fits.�

�Awesome. Well I don�t see anyone else up � do you think you can take care of her from here?�

�Sure � I�ll just put her to bed and keep an eye on her until she wakes up.�

�That could be a while! Will you manage to stay awake?�

�Yeah, I�ll be all right. It wouldn�t be my first all-nighter.�

�Okay � well good night!�

�Night. Right then, honey, let�s get you into bed. Almost there � I�ll just pull back the sheets for you� And we�ll just lay you down on your side here � easy does it� There! Comfy? What�s that � you feel uncomfortable in all those clothes? Well that�s easily remedied � let�s get you out of that top�

�Arms up � there�s a good girl. And off it comes. And your bra too? Well, if you insist� I�ll just unhook it back here � and off it comes. My, what pretty breasts you have! I�m sure they feel just lovely � what�s that? Would I like to have a feel? Well that�s very generous of you, Amber, I must say � but yes, I�d love to. Mmmm, they�re so soft and warm� Just delightful. And your nipples � so small and perfect. I�d just love to kiss them�

�You would? Really? Well I don�t know what to say � thank you! I�d love to! Let me just bend over you. Mmmm, hmmmf, mmph, ooh, they�re getting hard! Wow, Amber, I love sucking on your nipples. Let me just suck on this one again while I play with the other� Mmmm, mmmm, mmmm�

�Now let�s get you out of that skirt. Oh, and your shoes of course. Shoes first � there we go. Your skirt will be a little trickier� Ah but it unzips quite far � that�s helpful. I�ll just tug it down over those shit-filled panties of yours � I think I�ll leave those on if you don�t mind. And here it comes � and off. There! That�s better, isn�t it? What�s that? You�d like to be on your back? Oh but Amber, you�ll squash all that shit and get it everywhere� Well okay, but I�ll have to lift your knees up and spread your legs so that the shit stays in your panties� Okay, I�ll do that then.

�Over you go� And wow, just look at all that shit in your panties. What�s that � you like how it feels? Hmm, you little pervert! You want me to do what?? Rub it all over your pussy? Oh my God, Amber, that�s disgusting! But all right � if you really want me to. I�ll just squeeze the back of your panties so that it smushes up over your pussy � eww! It�s really squishy, isn�t it! Yuck, and the smell! That�s truly foul� How does it feel, Amber? How does it feel on your pretty little pussy? Can you feel it squishing around everywhere?�

�Mm�ff��

�Shit!�

�Shhh�Simon, you�ll wake the baby��

�Huh?�

�Pfff��

�Amber, are you awake? Amber? � Jesus Amber, were you talking in your sleep? Fuck me, you gave me a scare. What�s that about a baby? Do you have a secret baby stashed somewhere?

�Well, I guess you�re done talking. Okay, well I�ll just lay you on your side again, with your head at the very edge there � good. Now, if you throw up, hopefully you won�t end up lying in it�

�Okay Amber, well sleep tight. I�ll just sit over here. You got anything good to read? Hmm � Angels and Demons. That�ll do I suppose. Don�t worry Amber, I�ll be right here � if you start choking or anything, I�ll sort you out.

�Jesus I�m tired. Mustn�t go to sleep though. Let�s see now. Prologue. Sounds like a good place to start��

************************************

�Oh, my head!�

�Nkuh � I�m not asleep!�

�What? Who�s that?�

�Shit, what�s the time? Eight forty-five! Damn! Are you okay Amber?�

�What�s that smell? Oh my god � it�s me! Fuck! I�ve fucking shit myself!�

�Yeah, you did that at the party.�

�Oh my fucking GOD! Did you bring me back here?�

�Yeah � and let me tell you, it wasn�t easy with you being totally unconscious!�

�Ugh, this is disgusting! I need to clean up! Can you leave, please?�

�Oh � sure. I only stayed to make sure you didn�t throw up in your sleep.�

�Oh � well thanks. That was nice of you. You�re Christine, right?�

�Yeah. Well, I prefer just Chris. Sorry you got such a rude awakening, Amber � I hope you feel better soon.�

�Oh my God, it�s got everywhere!! All up my� Ugh! Okay Chris, well thanks again � I guess I�ll see you around.�

�Okay then. Bye Amber.�


THE END

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