The Erotic Mind-Control Story Archive

Lost Toys

Chapter 2 — Hero’s Welcome

Four days had passed and I hadn’t seen a hair nor heard a word out of Sara. My roommates didn’t believe a word of the story.

“I saved a woman!” I had said.

“I swear to god if you mention lesbianism…” Craps let the joking threat speak for itself.

“I saved a woman.” I had told Joe.

“Is that your way of telling me you chickened out from talking to another girl?” I had great friends.

The story wasn’t much of a tale. I opened the door for a woman, closed it for a psycho, and sat in uncomfortable silence for half an hour. But I certainly enjoyed telling it. Part of me was hoping beyond reason that she’d show up at my door and knock. The rest of me was rationalizing why that would be a bad thing. I don’t know what the shouting man’s problem had been. It could be that Sara had much deeper issues than simply poor taste in men. So, I told the story at home and at work, online and in real life. I was slowly but surely putting the event behind me.

I worked in the kitchen of Flynn’s, a big family restaurant downtown. I wasn’t a cook. I wasn’t a manager. I washed dishes, cleaned everything, and trained disinterested teenagers. I had a livable life and I had grown content and unambitious. The dangerously low wages augmented with a small share of the waitresses’ tips kept me in rent and utilities with my untouched inheritance that I planned to blow in Vegas or maybe Ireland somewhere in the indistinct future.

I had the evening shift that night. My schedule jumped all over the place week to week. I was utilized in a stopgap capacity, doing all the gritty closing work and helping deal with the supper hour rush. The first three hours were the same thoughtless void that had become my life. The boss was in, raising hell and looking closely over shoulders. The same old argument had sprung up when Deborah had hired a new waitress rather than farming up from the host staff. Everyone was picking sides. The new girl, Melody, was in for a hard couple of weeks.

“I swear I should just quit!” I was running out the waste to the back dumpster. The slighted girl, or at least the only one I thought could have been due the job, was hauling back on a Marlboro, twisting her very good looks and looking decidedly younger than she was, “It was my fucking turn! What the hell is wrong with her?”

I just shrugged noncommittally.

“Seriously, fuck,” she hissed out a bluish cloud, “pure horseshit.”

I wasn’t really listening to Courtney, she had been working as a buser and hostess since she was seventeen. She was nineteen now, old enough to serve alcohol, so she figured she was due her place. I did my smile and give unhelpful good feelings to her but otherwise I just tossed the latex gloves in the dumpster after the trash bags. I’m sure she said something else but the door closed behind me.

I let the drama wash over me. I understood the frustration between employee and employer but I was hardly invested in it. I had a sort of neglectful relationship with my superiors. The chef mostly avoided me, expecting enough out of me that he could avoid micromanaging. The owner never could leave well enough alone and so I had to deal with her trying to reeducate me from time to time. Nothing really stuck, I had learned to do my job quite well and I did it equally with or without scrutiny. She usually respected that. Some days I think she just needed a safe person to be mad at. Today was rife with host staff backtalk and waitress insubordination. She definitely needed me to be the normally slow and steady tortoise I was used to being. I think I wound up Deborah more than anyone else could have when I went off script.

“I know that girl,” I told my partner in the dish pit that night. There was a hot brunette sitting in the back dining area I noticed when I was running back the tub of dirty dishes from the busing station.

“Congratulations,” He shrugged hurrying to rack off the plates and coffee mugs for the dishwasher. The supper volume was heavy for a Wednesday and God forbid an under tipped server had to wait the forty five seconds it took to clean a rack of coffee mugs.

“I need to say hello. You’ll manage for a few minutes, yeah?”

I didn’t wait for his answer. If he couldn’t handle five or ten minutes of rush on his own he’d be quitting soon anyways. I took off my apron and stowed it under the counter drains. I nodded good evening to the boss who was flitting about in her general nuisance form.

“Matty, how’s the new kid working out?” She looked tired eyed. I hadn’t seen her smile in a few days.

“He’s about to get his baptism by fire,” I dismissed her and continued out to the dining area. She did not appreciate that. I wasn’t dressed to properly represent the business. Deborah’s rules always stepped over grammar’s rules. I refused to give my mode of dress a second’s thought and honed in on a the brunette. I could feel the boss boring holes in my head, the only thing keeping her from fetching me back to the kitchen was the thought of having a scene in front of the customers.

“Hi there,” I greeted the brunette. “It’s Carmen, isn’t it?”

“Um, hey,” She said guardedly. Right, she hadn’t actually saw me before, “Yeah, I’m Carmen.”

“I’m Matthew. We didn’t actually meet last weekend but you came by my apartment to pick up your sister, Sara,” She visibly relaxed when I played out our connection. I couldn’t see any resemblance now that I had an up close look. Step sisters, I guessed.

“Oh, my God! You’re Matthew?” She hopped to her feet and didn’t hug me but dragged me the long way around the table down to the chair on her left, “I’m so glad you helped out Sara! She was in way over her head.”

I wasn’t aware of a fraction of Sara’s story, but there was a more important question to ask first. “Is she doing, OK? She was very shook up on Saturday.”

“She’s doing better,” Carmen brushed the hair out of her eyes. She looked a little nervous as she played with her hair for a few moments, “Hasn’t really been getting out much yet. But Lewis hasn’t been hassling her so I think she’ll bounce back in a few days.”

“Good, I was worried,” I relaxed in the chair.

“I’m sure she appreciates that,” Carmen was a beautiful woman in her early thirties. Maybe a little over tanned but otherwise knockout gorgeous. Her eyes were both bright and dark brown. I surprised myself when I noticed she had the same golden bracelets on her wrists that I had seen on Sara.

“She didn’t leave any way to get in touch with her,” I prodded, Carmen gave me a sad smile.

“I can’t really give out her number if she wasn’t willing to do it.”

“Of course,” I said morosely.

“But what I can do is treat you to dinner. You’re not here with anyone else are you?”

“I’m actually working in the kitchen right now,” I explained.

“So is it your potato pancakes I’m addicted to?”

“Ha, you and half the city,” I deflected. Somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to admit my station in front of this woman. I knew, fundamentally, that pretending to be someone else to a girl was far more work than I was willing to keep up but I had this bad habit of digging myself into holes during first impressions.

“So, Matthew,” Carmen leaned forward and looked at me with a growing grin, “If you’re interested in my sister there’s a few things I need to know.”

“Oh?” I encouraged her to continue.

“Are you single?”

“I am,” single seemed an understatement. Admitting I was lonely would be counterintuitive.

“Kids? Ex wives?”

“None of the above.”

“What’s your dad like?” Her question threw me. She had this knowing smile on her lips though. Dad, I hadn’t thought much about him in the last few years. When I did, emotion hit me like a freight train.

“He was a tough motherfucker,” I decided on, “beat cancer three out of four times.”

“Wow,” her smile stuttered and dissolved, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s OK. It was a couple of years ago and I’m doing good now,” I had this urge to take her hand and squeeze it. I didn’t find the courage and she dropped both hands into her lap. I thought a little harder on her question, “I was always told we had the same sense of humor but I never once heard him tell a dirty joke.”

“You’ve got a dirty mind then?” Carmen wore this wicked little grin. I couldn’t help but lose myself in it for a moment.

“Probably breaks some health codes having it in a kitchen,” Not really something Deborah would appreciate me saying in a crowded restaurant. Anyone who heard that out of context would be unhappy. Carmen smiled prettily.

“Favorite Weird Al song?” She pushed.

“Uh… The Night Santa Went Crazy,” I was wrong. It’s Fat but I was on the spot and Santa is great.

“Nice!” She nodded, “I’m an Amish Paradise kind of girl.”

“My kind of girl, then,” I was grinning at my flirt. It wasn’t completely brilliant but it was so much better than I usually came up with. She notched her smile up a few kilolumens.

“So you’re an unattached, compassionate, hero with a dirty mind and you can cook?” Carmen laughed. I can’t usually read women too well but when she spoke next it was all serious, “Maybe I should keep you for myself?”

“So long as Sara’s doing well,” I had to speak or the words would never be said, “I’d love to go out with you.”

“Um,” her vocal filler felt like a slap. It was only a heartbeat before she followed up but my heart had pumped three times, “OK. Yeah, how about we meet for a drink when you’re off?”

“That’ll be just after 11,” I was beaming. I hadn’t successfully asked out a woman in over a year.

“Judging by the warpath Ms Flynn’s on, you might be getting out of here substantially earlier than that,” My moment was interrupted by Carmen’s waitress. Eden was one of my favorites. She was giving me a fair and true warning but she had her hip cocked and a grin over her glossed lips that showed she was sharing some of the good humor I had absorbed from Carmen. I gave her a thankful nod.

“Looks like there’s another damsel in need of the hero,” I told Carmen as I got up with a smile, “I’m leaving you in the best of hands. Eden will take great care of you. Enjoy your meal.”

“See you tonight!” Carmen flashed her smile at me and I waved goodbye as I walked back. Deborah was on me in heartbeat. She had wanted to corral me into her office but the restaurant was crazy busy and I could see where I was needed. I went back to catch up the new kid who was testing the limits of his patience between the cooks and servers. Deborah gave me a short reprieve but I knew when the tide receded she’d be right in my face.

There are few things that feel worse than discovering that Carmen was right. I was a student of bad feelings, honor roll, dean’s list, valedictorian of bad feelings. I slunk back into the chair. It was really hot in this sweater. I knew I’d be stuck wearing it until I left.

“Are you ready to order?” Eden, the cheerful black waitress smiled brightly.

“Yeah, you do breakfast all day, right?” Carmen asked. Dammit, now I was going to have to watch her eat. No, I wouldn’t be doing that.

“Absolutely,” the waitress was gorgeous. Probably my age if not a little older. He had never had any black girls around. I was grinding my teeth not thinking about that.

“Excellent, I’ll have the veggie omelet with a side of potato pancakes and a Pepsi.”

“Coke OK?”

Not for me it wouldn’t be. But Carmen said she was fine with that. Eden floated away, over to the cash registers. I had to get up and leave. I couldn’t watch Carmen eat. The early evening air was thick and humid. I headed across the street to the shade of The Public Gardens. I flopped down on one of the benches. I shouldn’t have left Carmen like that. I’d need to talk with her soon and I didn’t want to force her to go across town. I pulled down my hoodie. I saw a kid jump, surprised to see me on the bench. I smiled at her and unzipped. There were a few other people around. A couple of old men fed the geese. Christ, those were big birds.

I had been terrified since Annette had told me. He had died in early February. My sisters were leaving like the shore eroding under the tide. I didn’t want to go, barely could. But Annette found me my little apartment. Showed me the account He had for each of us in case we needed something and he wasn’t available to help us. I felt my tongue stud click against the back of my teeth. That was the hardest reminder. Other girls had had their tongues pierced but not all of us; Lucy loved hers. But I had been younger and so I was closest to Him for the last few years. It was a bad thing being so close to Him. Not while he was alive. I had no idea how to handle freedom. I couldn’t keep a job. I could barely sit through an interview. I saw the other girls. They weren’t left like stringless puppets. Carmen still felt it, that gave me hope. Annette had told me she was hurting too. I felt tears forming in my eyes. Annette was dead.

“Are you alright?” The little girl asked me.

“I lost my grandma a few days ago,” It wasn’t too far from a lie.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” She looked like she was about to cry along with me. I could feel myself toughening up. He didn’t like his sluts crying. I put on a big smile.

“It’s OK, It’s sad but she’s in a better place now,” I didn’t believe in any sort of God. I couldn’t have one and have Him. He had died and three days later stayed dead. Clearly, He wasn’t God. Death was cold emotionless oblivion. I truly believed Annette was in a better place. That’s what scared me. I didn’t want to be dead but I really didn’t want to be alive without Him. Sometimes, I wish I could have killed Him.

“Your tattoo is really pretty,” She pointed to the Chinese dragon curling up under my gold bracelet.

“His name is Taifeng,” I told her rolling up the sleeve to show her that it went all the way up my arm. My fingers traced along the red and gold scales, “A friend of mine gave him to me.”

“That’s cool,” She pouted, “Dad says I can’t have a tattoo.”

“You shouldn’t get one so young,” I didn’t know why I was trying to play parent with this kid. The tattoos on my arms, ankle, back and hip were all inflicted by one of the men I had tried to replace Him with. Part of me hated them all, but Taifeng was pretty awesome, “You don’t know how big your arms are going to be. You can’t figure out what you want to have on your skin if you’re going to get bigger yet.”

“Mom has a tattoo and she keeps getting bigger!” The girl huffed. I laughed and she smiled brightly.

“Well not everyone knows about that before they get theirs,” I offered diplomatically, “Thanks for cheering me up.”

“No problem! I have to go find my mom. She gets lost if you leave her alone,” The girl gave me a strong smile. I gave her one right back, “Feel better.”

“I will. Thank you.”

I watched her run off after a heavy woman pushing a stroller. I immediately wondered where she was hiding the tattoo the girl mentioned. I didn’t really want to see it. He had infected me with His appreciation of women. I didn’t mind them a little meaty but it wasn’t much weight before I was completely turned off. I looked over towards Flynn’s.

The good news was that Carmen was going out with Matthew. I was afraid. Lewis had rattled me really bad. He was almost a sweet guy when I had first approached him. He had been transparently lecherous right from the start, but that was one of the things I had been looking for. He wore the sweetness and kindness like a jacket and he had stripped down immediately when he had discovered I couldn’t resist much of anything. The other girls had it better. Carmen had pepper spray on her key chain. I wasn’t sure if she could use it but I couldn’t even pick it up.

I felt much safer trusting this part of the vetting to Carmen. I was feeling way too much hope again. Every time I got close I got way too excited. Seven times I had been wrong. Seven times I ran away. Seven times I had been left sitting in my shower unable to cry. Carmen walked out, half of her meal in a styrofoam carry out container. She was looking back and forth and I could see the impatience on her face. I walked around the black fence and hurried over when the light changed.

“We need to get you another phone,” Carmen said grumpily as I hurried across the street to walk with her.

“Is that for me?” I pointed to the container.

“It was because I was worried I was eating it in front of you! But you had wandered off and left me talking to myself like a madwoman. That waitress—”

“Eden.”

“Eden,” She raised an eyebrow trying to communicate how unhelpful I was at being helpful, “Gave me a snarky look.”

“Well you were talking to yourself,” Oh, so that’s a what a snarky look is. Thanks, Carmen.

“Anyway, we’ve got four hours to get ready,” Carmen declared.

“Why do I have to get ready?” I staggered and she grabbed my elbow making me keep pace.

“You’re shadowing me, Susan Storm,” She hissed.

“Who’s Susan Storm?” That didn’t land well and she pulled a bit harder on my elbow. The food and Matthew had given Carmen a hopeful mood I hadn’t seen in quite some time. I believe I had spoiled it.

“Shut up and let’s go home,” She meant her home. She could afford and maintain a decent place. I was surely running out of my bank.

Four hours isn’t as much time as it sounds. She made use of every second of it. Carmen looked incredible. She had put on this gorgeous red dress with one shoulder strap. The skirt floated over the black stockings that made her already tan skin look striking. I helped her curl and set her hair. How could I not be envious of how it rolled around and framed her face? I had had my head shaved by a bad mistake in April. It was only recently at a length I didn’t need to hide under a hat or my hood. She matched her golden bracelets with a single sapphire gold chain around her neck. Silver dangly earrings fell from her ears.

“Well this should quickly determine if he’s gay,” Carmen appreciated herself in the mirror. I didn’t doubt her, “The red pumps?”

“Going full tilt?” I smirked.

“I would never do less,” Carmen met my eyes, “Now you go get your damned shower. Just because we won’t notice you doesn’t mean your stench won’t linger.”

“I obligatorily love you, sister,” I laughed.

“I obligatorily love you right back,” She grinned.

I was far too energetic to take a long leisurely time in the shower. Her shower was incredible. Part of me wanted to live in it. I stole some of Carmen’s deodorant while she splashed on a bit of intoxicating perfume. She was dressed to whatever is above the nines. Tens? If you dress in squares it’d be sixteens. I don’t get fashion. I was wearing a pair of baggy cargo shorts, flip flops, a threadbare pink tank top and the magic hooded fleece sweater. We hurried down to get the cab she had called.

“Holy Christ, Matty!” A teenaged blonde shouted when they had spotted Carmen waiting for Matthew outside the back entrance, “If that’s what you get for pissing off Ms Flynn, you should have decked her!”

“Hi, Matthew,” Carmen responded to the flare up with grace, “Who’s your friend?”

“Carmen, This is Courtney,” He nodded and the girl shook Carmen’s hand politely, “You look amazing, let me just walk the kid to the car and we can get going.”

Courtney punched Matthew in the shoulder and tried to proposition Carmen away from him all the way to her mother’s Honda. I rolled my eyes but the girl was cute. She waved before she drove away. Matthew turned towards Carmen. He was a hell of a lot more nervous than Lewis or the others had been. I felt the chill forming inside my stomach lining.

“Seriously, your dress is going to kill me,” He tittered as he tried to be brave. I actually felt myself smiling sadly at his actions.

“This my praying mantis dress,” Carmen posed, “Don’t worry, you won’t be killed and eaten until after sex.”

I think he wished he could have competed with that but his mind was clearly running on fumes now. I liked his flabbergasted expression. I kept pace a few steps behind them. It was kind of fun not being the girl on the line during these things. It might have been really fun if the air wasn’t so humid. It was nearly indistinguishable from liquid water. Not invisible magic hoody weather at all.

“I’m really not dressed for this,” He said. He had changed his ratty t-shirt and corroded sneakers for a nice black shirt and a pair of Doc Martins. He was still wearing a pair of old beaten jeans.

“You look great,” Carmen assured him and leaned against his shoulder, “Now I believe I promised you dinner.”

“Weirdest date ever,” Matthew announced. Carmen beamed. They went into Your Father’s Mustache. They asked for a booth. It only took a few minutes to seat them. Carmen dragged Matthew into her side. I sidled into the seat across from them. I had my hands on the hood of my sweater, they’d notice me if it fell off.

Sitting through a meal that everyone else gets to enjoy and you don’t is pure torture. Listening to Carmen cajole stories and tidbits out of Matthew was at least a little fun. She was so hot that his brain kept shutting down. Their waiter was in envious disbelief. I stole one of Matthew’s onion rings. He noticed the loss of food but couldn’t account for it. That disconnect was the kick in the pants that put him into a more presentable form.

Matthew was a college drop-out. He really didn’t want to tell Carmen that but she just told her own story of leaving before her sophomore year. She left out any mention of Him. But even in their combined four years of school they had endless stories. I hadn’t even started high school. He picked me out of my grade 8 classroom. Nadine made sense, she really did, but it wasn’t until this moment did I realize just how right she might be. I didn’t care. I needed Matthew to save me from Him. I didn’t care what it would cost me.

He was an orphan. His mom had passed away when he was 17, his dad three years ago. I had been looking for men without family. Matthew had sisters, real sisters not like Carmen or Lucy. Carmen had a brother but she hadn’t seen him in eleven years. I might not have been an only child anymore, but my parents were long since removed from the picture.

I loved the idea of family. I was even jealous of Gabrielle. I was most interested in hearing his stories about his sisters. Meghan was twenty-seven and worked as a receptionist for a chiropractor a couple hours drive out of town. She lived in some unlabeled back home. All I knew was that it was a small town that was just too small for Walmart to build there. He had a half dozen stories about crashing bikes and breaking windows as a shitty little boy but the town wasn’t one of his favorite topics.

“She’s a nightmare, really,” Meghan stories really lit up his smile, “There’s no one in this world who can piss me off or raise me quite as high. She’s got this predatory sense of humor without a drop of meanness and can’t tell a story to save her life. I can’t say she’s never started a fight between us but she certainly ended every last one of them.”

Carmen smiled sweetly and sidled closer to him as he was animated. He was an interesting guy. I liked him and I wondered if that was going to make things worse when it turned out he wasn’t what we needed.

Misty was his baby sister. Twenty he said, but he had to take a moment and subtract 1994 from 2015. Then he had shaken his head and muttered Halloween. Her stories were of an angel trying to sweep a house fire under a rug. She had taken the last year off of school to travel across Europe with her inheritance. She had landed a couple weeks ago and was apparently raising hell and breaking hearts. She was returning to her second year at St Mary’s in a couple of months.

“Dad and I were supposed to go fishing and she had needed a babysitter so we brought her. Her excitement to be doing guy things died out when she realized how boring fishing can actually be. I don’t know how she had started pulling the rivets out of the bottom of the boat but I’m pretty sure it’s still sitting at the bottom of the Margaree.”

I wanted to hear more but Carmen kept the conversation flitting about. I grew frustrated. I wasn’t interested in his friends. Who would respond to a name like Craps? This Joseph guy sounded nice but if it wasn’t Matthew, I wouldn’t be testing any of his other friends. Or Carmen wouldn’t. Fuck. I really needed to know. I kicked Carmen’s shin. She put down her second glass of wine.

“I think it’s time to go to your place,” Carmen leaned in and husked. I watched Matthew’s eyes grow large and surprised, “Too many more of these and I won’t be able to give you my very best.”

“Shit…” Matthew droned but flagged down the waiter for the bill. Carmen lit up brightly and the waiter shook his head in disbelief when she paid for the food.

“Should’ve asked the waiter to call us a cab,” Matthew muttered as we traveled down the stairs.

“There’s a taxi stand across the street,” Carmen reassured Matthew with a hand on his arm. I liked his smile. It wasn’t bright and charming. It was actually crooked on the left with a touch too many teeth. He wasn’t gorgeous, but I learned a while ago that pretty didn’t count for much. That lesson had got me my first ink: the running roses on my bicep.

“I have to say, this date has run away from me,” Matthew took Carmen’s hand as they started walking over to the crosswalk. Spring Garden Road was still littered in cars, but late on a Wednesday night wasn’t anything near rush hour.

“Oh? You like to keep a bit more control of your dates?” I could hear the desperation underlying Carmen’s sexual husk. Matthew just laughed.

“No, I don’t really mind at all. Usually, I’m expected to take more control than I can handle. I don’t really know what to think but I think like you,” He fumbled a little. We zipped across the street and marched past the van cab.

“I quite think I like you too,” Carmen beamed as he opened the door for her. The cabbie and Matthew looked to the front passenger door as I hopped in. I kept quiet. Carmen pulled in Matthew, the two men were a little spooked but the cabbie got over it immediately, Matthew had his brow furrowed.

“Where to?” The man asked in a thick east coast accent.

“Matthew?” Carmen rested her hand on Matthew’s shoulder and I just waited. Talking wouldn’t help here. Carmen would distract him and he’d forget about the weirdness. She was a powerful distraction. One hand slipping over the back of his neck and down his spine lit up his trainwreck smile.

“Ocean Towers, tower 1.” Matthew announced and I slipped in.

“Did they change their names? Some kid last weeks called them something else.” Chatty cabby pulled into traffic.

“Harborview, name changed a couple of years ago. When Killam, I think, bought them. But people know Ocean Towers, so that’s the name I’ll keep using.”

“Amen, brother,” The driver nodded. I almost suggested they just use the street address, that hadn’t changed.

Carmen nuzzled into Matthew’s shoulder and the rest of the taxi ride was generally quiet. I rushed out of the cab as it pulled to a stop. Matthew needed another Carmen infusion to push out on seeing my door open and close. The cabby didn’t care. He took his fare from Carmen and was in drive as soon as the door closed.

Through the door, I had a short flashback of Lewis. My guts turned over. Matthew had been weak all night. He was led around by Carmen like a fish on a hook. I was not feeling any confidence. Still, I wasn’t certain he was a dud. I couldn’t know yet. I had no idea how I’d know but I would know by the time he got his hands on me. I was shivering. Carmen was wearing a bright, shiny, carefully constructed smile. She was feeling much the same.

I stayed in the corner as we rode up in the elevator. Carmen and Matthew were holding hands. He seemed high, almost giddy. She rebuffed him from turning a light kiss into a makeout session, “Once we start I don’t want to be interrupted by your roommates.”

“It’s Wednesday night,” Matthew said a bit gleefully. “I expect to find Joe in bed and Craps with his door closed and his headphones on.”

His prediction was dead wrong. I put my hand on Carmen’s hip as he led us into the apartment. The first thing that hit us loud Irish drinking songs. The second thing was that the mess was gone. The floors were bright, the counters were clear, the sink was shiny. I felt a little better about tonight.

“Where the fuck have you been, shit for brains?” The voice that called from the living room had the same accent as the cabbie but was far less pronounced.

“Well shit,” Carmen said with a frown.

“Did either of you invite more girls?” The voice asked. I cut through the kitchen to see. There were eight people spread over two couches and a couple of those wrestling steel chairs. One last lanky blond man was laid out across the floor resting his head on one of the other guy’s calves. A black girl had her chair pulled up tight next to the other girl, a casually dressed brunette who was much more at ease with the rest of the people. The brunette was in the corner of a black leather couch. The seat I had taken when I had waited out Carmen showing up last week. I couldn’t place Craps or Joseph by Matthew’s stories. Neither had been home the last time I was here.

“No, just Harriet,” Said the blond guy on the floor, “Z’s here because of affirmative action.”

“It’s true,” Z, the black girl agreed, “My being here gives them a redeemable tax credit.”

“She’s with me, twits,” Matthew appeared with Carmen holding his hand. The white girl wolf whistled.

“This the damsel in distress?” Asked the thinnest man in the room, the only man on a chair. He was elbows and knees, probably 140 pounds, and taller than Matthew.

“No, that’s my sister,” Carmen replied.

“Does the lying cost Matthew extra?” A dumpy guy in glasses asked with a smirk from the corner of the chair.

“Fuck you, Craps,” Matthew grinned but looked to see Carmen unhappily frowning, “Here, Carmen, that’s apparently Z. These are the white people.”

“Charmed,” Carmen held back no contempt. Elbows and knees looked with concern. Craps laughed. I already hated that troll. He was probably the cutest boy in the room, maybe the blond sprawled out on the floor but I got a huge gay vibe from that one. Does being gay make someone less cute? He definitely didn’t want us to be gay but He certainly liked us playing lesbians.

“Hi Carmen,” said the brunette, “You’ve made a good choice with Matthew. He needs a bit of work but he’ll be amazing if you can get him there.”

“Uh, thanks...” Carmen replied through a filter.

“Oh, sorry,” the brunette beamed. She had this model perfect smile. Perfect white teeth, full lips without looking overfull and her brown eyes backed it up through the swish of her bangs over them, “I’m Harriet. Z is actually Zelda but we were trying something to put a stop to Geoff’s princess jokes,” She gestured to gay blond on the floor, “That’s Joe. Yeah I was worried at first too but he won’t watch you sleep unless you can juggle or something,” Joe didn’t look happy with the comment but didn’t stand up for himself, “Ryan’s the only one here that sucks. Malcolm’s sitting between us. The two boys on the other couch are Victor and Scott.”

Lots of “Hi!”’s and one weird clicking growl, followed by Malcolm saying “Oh, there you are Perry!", punctuated the introductions. I was putting the names to faces. He liked us to remember people. I imagined Matthew taking His place. Would he want Harriet? Zelda? I’d be in for Zelda. Or that waitress, Eden. He hadn’t taken any black girls as slaves. I doubted it was out of white guilt or altruism. He probably just preferred white girls. And Carmen.

“Yeah, hi,” Carmen tugged Matthew back a step, “I’m going to freshen up.”

I was looking from Malcolm. A messy looking dark haired man with a belly and nearly missed Carmen’s signal to follow her. I had to hug the wall and nearly knocked over a framed picture of Matthew and two blondish girls, one petite and gorgeous and one heavier but still captivating. I slipped into the washroom after Carmen. She was touching up her lipstick in the mirror. I waited until she was done before pulling down my hoodie. Even if she knew about it, it would still surprise her. A streak across her cheek would be less than her standard of beauty. Carmen hid her startle behind a slowly blooming smile.

“Not quite as we planned,” Carmen sighed.

“Take him back to my place,” I hissed trying to keep her voice under the rattle of the bathroom vent.

“You sure?” Carmen quirked a smile.

“We can’t do it here,” I really didn’t want to let anyone into my apartment until I was certain but if it was Carmen there I could manage to keep a degree of separation.

“If he can handle things here…”

“No,” That group looked like it was primed to drag in Matthew and Carmen.

“Fine, give me your keys,” Carmen held out her hand and I dropped the two key chain and fob into her hand, “Now zip up and follow close.”

I followed Carmen back to the living room. She was in great form. Even that gay guy gave her a second look and Harriet wore the brightest smirk. Zelda was talking with Joe and was mildly disappointed to see her conversation partner even momentarily distracted.

“Let’s move on,” She approached Matthew on his left.

“You just got here, have a drink, become a regular,” Harriet cajoled.

“It’s a delightful invitation,” Carmen lied and Harriet returned a respectful: “Well, you can just fuck off then.”

“Misty said she might be by for Canada Day,” Craps waved Carmen and Matthew out.

“That’s weeks away,” Matthew commented as he turned with Carmen back towards the door, “Take anything that far off in the future with a grain of salt.”

“Call me if you need to tag out for a few rounds!” The gay guy laughed as Carmen smuggled me out the door ahead of them. I had to smile too, I didn’t think he was talking to Matthew.

“Your friends are interesting,” Carmen declared as she walked side by side with Matthew. I hovered next to the floor buttons.

“They’re rowdy, but they’re good people,” Matthew answered, “I have no idea why they were here tonight. Seems like a shame we’ll have to call another taxi.”

“We’ll walk,” Carmen pressed the button I had already pushed. The light was out and she pushed it again for good measure. There was always something in these buildings but generally maintenance was on top of things.

“I didn’t expect a girl who can afford to dress like you would be anywhere near this corner of the city,” Matthew stepped aside for Carmen as the elevator arrived.

“I was thinking of commandeering a friend’s place,” Carmen leaned against Matthew’s shoulder. We all lost momentary weight.

“Do you know that she’s not home?” There was uncertainty in the feminine pronoun.

“Fairly confident, yeah,” Carmen laughed and I flicked her fingers. It’s fun watching her whole body shudder in surprise. I know she was aware I was with them but His Things work wonders.

“Chilly?”

“No, I’m fine,” She waved off Matthew’s concern. The elevator ride ended and we stepped out. I let them have their little romantic stroll across the plaza while I zipped through parking garage. I had to remind myself to be careful, God knows what would happen if I was hit by a car wearing the hoodie. My plan was less than perfect. I found myself pacing around outside my door for almost five minutes before they came up from the stairwell.

“—Neither could finish a race,” Matthew was ending some anecdote and Carmen was chuckling and swatting Matthew about the shoulders. I was envious, I had really liked hearing his stories.

Carmen fished keys out of her bag and then dove back in for the one’s I gave her. “Just ahead, 404.”

“This isn’t Sara’s apartment?” Matthew asked.

“Yeah, it is,” Carmen shrugged and she unlocked my door, “It’s not the Ritz. Don’t get all hoity toity fussy on me.”

“S Saint, eh?” Matthew let out a sigh, “Now I’m even more glad I didn’t risk buzzing Billy and Sarah.”

“Stalker much?” Carmen gave a laugh and shivered again as I bumped her knee while scurrying inside. Matthew slipped a nervous hand on her waist and followed her in.

“She said she lived in tower 3 and I was worried. I wasn’t confident enough to buzz randomly and see how she was.”

“She’s going to be bunking with a friend tonight,” Carmen waved at my empty unit, “She’ll be OK. Tonight, let the woman be concerned about you.”

“Homey,” Matthew tried to sound supportive but he was judging my place.

“Very,” Carmen grabbed Matthew by the buttons of his shirt and pulled him into her best heart stopping kiss. I watched Matthew’s hand circle and start before he finally held her by the wrist and and the hip. She stroked his cheek and no doubt traced the shape of the tongue that had dove into his mouth. Her body tightly molded against Matthew’s body.

“Jesus!” He muttered as she let their lips drift apart, “I’ve never—I mean, I have. Three different women, but it’s always taken weeks or months of groundwork and—Jesus.”

Carmen’s eyes got all smokey. She picked up Matthew’s hands, “There’s no way I could wait weeks or months for sex. If I had my way the whole world would fuck hello.”

“That’d be an awkward thanksgiving,” Joked Matthew. It was clear he was nervous and antsy. I could tell from his eyes and his feet he wanted to jump at Carmen but there was something clearly stuck up his butt preventing him from diving in. None of my last couple months encounters’ had been nervous, or nervous enough to stagger them anyways. Matthew took that to another level; there was nothing in his way but himself and he couldn’t find the way past that.

“Take a breath if you need to,” Carmen stroked his cheek and stepped back. She was standing at the foot of the bed, “But do hurry, tiger, I’ve waited half the night already.”

Matthew cocked his head up at Tiger and grinned. I pouted, impatient. I’d have tackled Matthew. Get him inside me and get this over with. He watched as Carmen reach to her dress’s one shoulder strap. The way his breath stopped took most of the noise out of the room. Carmen burned red hot as she pulled it off her shoulder. I licked my lips as Matthew did when that lacy bra revealed itself. Her tits may have barely qualified as D’s, but Goddamn did she know how to show them off.

“Dear God!”

“Getting religious on me?” Carmen quirked a smile as she shimmied her hips free of the dress. The rich silk puddled around her eight hundred dollar heels. Matthew didn’t see her feral grin as he looked down, up, down and back up.

“I think I might be? This isn’t the hell I was expecting though,” Matthew’s response was lagged.

“Hell? I was expecting something angelic,” she pouted falsely.

“What else could be this hot?” Matthew was too twisted up to be clever. The circumstances had stripped away most of his mind and he was still quick witted. Hurry the fuck up Carmen! I can’t take being teased into liking this man for much longer. He stepped forward and kissed Carmen.

His hands lay on her waist. Her hands tangled in his hair. It was loud, wet and passionate. I couldn’t tell what was Carmen and what was acting. I was bouncing on my heels, I had paced the breadth of my room a half dozen times. They broke apart. I couldn’t see the look in her eyes but Matthew looked more confident. Something had taken the edge off. I expected him to throw Carmen backwards and chase her onto the bed. He stepped back. I felt the stiffness rush out of me. Son of a bitch! Carmen wasn’t any worse this morning when I needed it! I slumped down onto the floor and watched, looking up.

“Carmen, as awesome as this is,” He built up a smile, “I want you to be around tomorrow. You’ve kind of just shown up, shown me the most amazing time, and now I’m getting more of a show than I’d have dreamed of. If all I can get is this night with you, I’ll be happy with that. But I’ll always want a little more.”

“There are lots of ways for us to have time together, Matthew,” She stepped forward and laid a hand on his wrist, “And if we’re compatible, I’d love that too. That’s all I want, to see if we work together.”

“Alright, we’ll do it your way in a moment,” I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach. He wanted her for keeps. He was taking control. I just wish I knew how Carmen was taking it. Was she hopeful? Was she certain this was going to fail but too committed to quit without trying?

“What do you need Matthew?”

“God, if Ryan ever learns I stopped sex to talk,” Matthew laughed at himself, “I’m just curious what makes Carmen, Carmen.”

“I’m just what you see, Matthew,” She tilted her head and smiled. Her posture, hands and eyes all radiating sex, “What you see is what you get.”

I never knew that cliche could be that sexy. I looked to Matthew as he took a short circuit around the bedroom.

“You play the violin?” He asked, a little excited. It was my violin. Did he forget this wasn’t her apartment? Hell maybe he forgot his own name in her presence. I played violin. I played very well. He liked to hear a lot of classical music. Matthew should have been so lucky to hear Annette on the piano.

“Not as well as Sara,” Carmen admitted. Was that jealousy? Why would she be jealous of me. It’s because she knew I was here. She just wanted me to have the courage to test Matthew with her. I admit I was already feeling excited. I hadn’t spent much time with Him and Carmen before. He had preferred to pair me with Phoebe.

“Oh, well I’d still love to have you play for me some time.”

“I have other things I want to play tonight,” She licked her lips and Matthew smiled back. It seemed to me that he had needed to regroup and reassess. He was getting more confident. I was glad. I was getting more and more anxious to get started. He was acting nothing like Him and I liked it.

“Holding this up isn’t getting me what I want and clearly you what you want,” He stepped around the armchair and put on a falsely confident grin, “Shall we?”

He kicked my music box. I wanted to dive for it. It was what I had taken for memories not for use. It tumbled aside and opened as it rolled. Matthew did a staggered step but didn’t throw his balance. The soft chimes played as the fairy in the green dress pirouetted.

“Don’t worry about that,” Carmen husked when Matthew reached down to pick it up.

“You’re right. A little music is always good for what we’re about to do.”

Carmen’s eyes flashed wide and she wasn’t sure if she should be grinning maniacally or holding her mouth open wide in shock. I felt it too. That feeling that told me He was here for me.

“It was him! He could do it!” My breaths, when I could force them out, were hot and heavy. I was overrun with impatience and relief all at once. I galloped across the room and I reached over and squeezed Carmen’s fingers. I felt the squeeze returned. We could feel it. Matthew could do it. He could replace Him. Ecstasy flooded my veins. I couldn’t stop grinning. I reached up with my free left hand and pulled my hood back.