Bimborg 2: Invasion of the Bawdy Snatch-Revelers (part 10)
MONDAY AFTERNOON
In Government class, as soon as tomorrow’s homework was assigned, Rose raised her hand. “Mrs. Brewster, can Ah please get, like, a library pass?”
Mrs. Brewster frowned. “I guess so. Come up to my desk.”
As Mrs. Brewster was writing the library pass, she eyed Rose’s sexy outfit with disapproval. Then the teacher said in a low voice, “I remember when you denounced the Patriarchy. Now you’re catering to it.”
Rose giggled. “If you think this is bad, you should’ve, like, seen me before Mr. Roberts sent me home to change. Ohmigod, you would’ve totally freaked.”
Then Rose got serious: “Charlie-Bob Owens put his own life in danger to protect two female people. What feminist would do that for two penis-persons? None, Ah reckon. Ah’ve figured out that men are not brutes, and women are not better people.”
Then Rose gave Mrs. Brewster an airhead smile, and sashayed to the classroom door.
Rose stopped off at the girls’ restroom. To empty her bladder, to brush her hair, to freshen her makeup—but mainly to look for any girls “on the list.” No luck; the bathroom was empty.
But soon Rose was in the library, where her luck got better. The only people in the library (besides Rose) turned out to be the librarian, two freshman boys who were working on a project, and Helen-May Sawyer. Helen-May was sitting at a table and reading Modern Bride.
Helen-May Sawyer was a pale-skinned, blue-eyed senior who looked more natural with dyed-blond hair than with the brunette color she was born with. She had a pretty face and an above-average cup size.
In fact, Helen-May Sawyer met Babeness Standards revision 4.
But Helen-May Sawyer also was president of the Purity League, and her nickname was “Helen Won’t.”
Rose walked up to Helen-May’s table. “Okay if Ah sit here?”
“Lots of other tables are empty,” Helen-May said.
“True, but Ah get lonely at a table by myself.”
“Okay then, you can sit here,” Helen-May said. “But it’ll cost you. Ah’m gonna try to recruit you into Purity League, and you gotta listen.”
Rose laughed. “Girlfriend, you’re a week too late. Last week, Ah was technically a virgin—”
“‘Technically’?”
“—but Friday, Ah and Charlie-Bob unvirginated each other. Ohmigod, it was, like, the Fourth of July, Christmas, and Groundhog Day all in one.”
“Groundhog Day?”
Rose smiled a sexy smile. “Because one part of the day kept repeating, you know?”
Helen-May put her head in her hands for several seconds. Then she put her hands down and said, “It’s not too late. You can return to celibacy now, but you’ll need to be honest with your fiancé before the wedding.”
Rose said, ”Stop this? Why? Fucking Charlie-Bob Owens is the greatest thing since six-inch platform stilettos.”
“Rose, you want to get married, right? Ever hear the expression, ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’”
“Ever hear the expression, ‘Never buy a car without a test drive first’?”
“Sex is a wonderful mystery of the universe, Rose, and you shouldn’t cheapen it with tawdry backseat—”
“Don’t knock sex in a car if, like, you’ve never tried it yourself, you know?” Rose laid a hand atop Helen-May’s hand. “Ah wish there was some way Ah could convince you how totally glorious is sex with Charlie-Bob.”
Helen-May frowned. “You need to file those long nails of yours, Rose. You just scratched my hand.”
LATER MONDAY AFTERNOON
Cindy Bright felt lucky to have such a good boss.
The patient, Paula Crawford, was fifteen or thereabouts—an age when kids are still scared when they sit in a dental chair, but think it uncool to let such feelings show. But Cindy’s boss soothed the teen’s unspoken fear: While Cindy cleaned the girl’s teeth, Dr. Saint James stood about two feet away and acted as narrator. (“Cindy is doing X; Cindy is about to start Y.")
Dr. Saint James’s by-step narration worked as intended: The girl (a gorgeous brunette with bright blue eyes) relaxed visibly.
Dr. Saint James, she of the sharp eye, must have also noticed that Cindy herself was nervous about taking dental X-rays. In any case, that morning the dentist had announced to Cindy that she was taking over the X-ray duties. This supposedly was “because I’m ten years closer to menopause than you are, Cindy, so it’s less of a tragedy if my ovaries get cooked.”
In any case, Dr. Saint James now sent Cindy out of the room while the dentist x-rayed the teenager’s teeth. When Cindy was called back, there were ten film squares laying on the dental tray.
As soon as Cindy re-entered the room, Dr. Saint James told the girl, “Cindy will take the X-rays and put them in our film-develop machine. That’ll take about ten minutes. No, probably longer, because there are ten X-rays to develop. Anyway, while we’re waiting for Cindy to return with the pictures, I’ll continue cleaning your teeth, but with a dental pick. I’ll also be doing a visual exam of your teeth. Sound good, Paula?”
“Yes, ma’am.” The girl sounded relaxed and trusting.
As Cindy walked out of the room with the film squares, she heard Dr. Saint James say, “Let me adjust your bib, and then we’ll begin. I’m sorry, did I scratch you?”
Minutes later, the ten X-rays were almost all developed. That’s when Cindy’s cel chimed; Cindy groaned when she looked at the display.
“Hello, Roger,” Cindy said. And if she was keeping her tone from sounding like Fuck off and die painfully, neither was she cooing like the rich man’s mistress that she was.
“Hey babe,” Roger Wisley said, “what are you doing? Watching game shows?”
“No, Ah’m at work. We actually have five patients today. And right now, Dr. Saint James is waiting on X-rays, so Ah can’t talk long.”
“Oh yeah, Ah heard about her little lecture Friday at the high school. Fact is, she’s the talk of the town. Two different guys at the country club told me about her, plus Regina had words to say.”
“What’d they all say?”
“The men told me your boss is built like a brick shithouse, while Regina told me she’s ‘a bitch’ and ‘full of herself.’ That true?”
“Your daughter is ... mistaken about Dr. Saint James.”
“But what about the other part? Is your dentist-boss a hottie?”
“She signs my paycheck, so Ah’m not going to answer that. Roger, the X-rays are developed, so Ah have to hang up now.”
“Fine, be that way. But maybe Ah’ll drop in your place and check her out for myself. It would do her good, having the richest man in town as her patient.”
“Not if she’s built like a brick shithouse, Roger. Then everyone will assume she’s another of your mistresses.”
“Another of my mistresses? Cindy, you wound me. What you and Ah have is special.”
“Yeah, sure, Roger. And Ah’ll bet what you have with Barbara is ‘special’ too. Whoops, Ah’m sorry, Ah’m not supposed to know about Barbara, am Ah?”
Roger made a theatrical sigh. “Ah knew this would happen, that you couldn’t handle—”
“Ah have to go, Roger. Bye.” Not giving Roger a chance to reply, Cindy stabbed the phone’s OFF button with her finger, then jammed the cel into a pocket of her scrubs-top.
When Cindy walked back into Treatment Room One with the X-rays, she found Dr. Saint James talking and scraping, and Paula listening and grimacing.
Thanks to Roger’s phone call, Cindy was minutes later at returning with the X-rays than she should have returned. Dr. Saint James didn’t stop talking about Charlie-Bob Owens as Cindy hurriedly laid the X-rays on the dental tray, but the dentist gave Cindy a raised eyebrow. That eyebrow asked, What took you so long?
WEDNESDAY MORNING
Denise was almost late to her third-period class; the Tardy Bell was about to ring.
But Denise didn’t care one bit. And it wasn’t to her third-period class (Geometry) where Denise was headed.
Miss Turner was the only teacher “on the list,” and third period was Miss Turner’s “free period.” So Denise planned to talk to Miss Turner about The Scarlet Letter in that empty classroom, and then Welcome Miss Turner.
That was the plan. But an even better plan presented itself when Denise got to Miss Turner’s classroom door, looked through the glass, and saw Miss Turner sitting at her desk. Miss Turner shone with the black glow of sadness.
Twenty-two-year-old Miss Turner, a natural blonde, sat at her desk with her shoulders slumped, reading a paperback book. She had a can of soda and a mega-fattening Twinkie also on her desk.
Denise knocked on the classroom door, then stepped in, not waiting for an invitation. “Miss Turner? Is everything okay?”
The Tardy Bell rang, as Miss Turner put down her book. “What can I help you with, Denise?” she asked in a businesslike manner.
“Ah’m asking what Ah can help you with, Miss Turner. Ah looked through the window, and you looked, ohmigod, real sad and lonely.”
The young blond teacher frowned. “It’s not proper for me to discuss my personal life with a student.”
“Okay, but Ah think you’ll feel better if you talk to me, you know? What are you reading?”
“I don’t even remember.” Miss Turner turned the book over. ”Love’s Torment. And love can certainly be a torment, I can tell you that.”
“That’s true. Monday morning, Kevin Sinclair picked a fight with Charlie-Bob Owens over me, right in front of the entire school. Totally embarrassing.”
“Look at the bright side: At least you know Kevin still cares for you. It’s not like he dropped you for some bul—some silly reason.”
“Ohmigod, is that what’s bothering you? Some guy dropped you?”
“Denise, it is inappropriate—”
“Fine, Ah’m a student, so it’s quote-unquote wrong for me to discuss your love life with you. But you’re not in the teacher’s lounge now, and Ah don’t see the guidance counselor here, so who else you got?”
“Denise, one more time: It isn’t—”
“Something is bugging the shit out of you, Miss Turner. Spill it.”
For ten seconds, Miss Turner stared at Denise. Then she sighed. “When I first got hired and moved to Sweet Onion, I met an amazing man, Lawrence. Maybe you know him, he manages the feed store.”
“Ah’m listening,” Denise said. She walked up behind Miss Turner, and started to rub the teacher’s tense muscles in her neck and arms. Denise maybe scratched Miss Turner’s arm at one point.
Miss Turner continued, “God, at first we were so on fire for each other, couldn’t get enough time together. I can’t believe I’m telling you this, but I fucked him eight times the first week, and I sucked him like a New Orleans whore. Well, that was at the start.”
“But not later?” Denise asked. She continued to rub the teacher’s neck and arms.
Miss Turner said, “Then he started giving me reasons why we couldn’t get together. He told me that he had to work late, and I believed him. Then he wanted to play poker with his redneck buddies, on Saturdays and Wednesdays. I wondered about that, but I said ‘Fine’ to that too.”
“Go on, Ah’m totally here for you,” Denise said, as she continued to massage the teacher.
Miss Turner’s voice started to slow down, as the nanobots kicked in: “A week before Christmas, I asked him, ‘Where are we going, our relationship?’ He told me, ‘You’re fun, but Ah can’t marry a Yankee slut.’ He took Clarissa Whatzername to the ... New ... Year’s ... Eve ... party.”
“So now you’re dating your refrigerator,” Denise replied. “Pigging out.”
“Food ... comforts ... me,” Miss Turner said.
Denise pulled her hands back. “Stand up, Miss Turner,” Denise said.
“Why?” the teacher asked in a distracted voice, even as she came to her feet.
Denise answered, “We’ll both get in trouble if someone looks through the window and sees me rubbing your neck. You don’t want us to get in trouble, right?”
“That’s right,” Miss Turner said, in that same distracted voice. “I don’t ... want us ... to get ... in trouble.”
“Come with me,” Denise said, as she took the teacher’s hand. She pulled the stumbling teacher to the side wall of the classroom that was beside the door. Denise and Miss Turner now couldn’t be seen from the classroom door’s window.
Denise said, “You need a better boyfriend and, like, Ah can help with that.”
Then Denise said, “Ah feel your pain,” and kissed the teacher.
Five minutes and 27 seconds later, Denise broke the kiss. “Charlie-Bob Owens is your new boyfriend,” Denise-unit told Mary-unit. “Let me explain.”
FRIDAY EVENING
This Friday was a week after Charlie-Bob had taken Rose on a date, in which both teens had lost their virginities. This Friday also was four days after Denise Webber had told Charlie-Bob that she was dropping her current guy to be with him.
Rose had told him, Friday afternoon, “Be ready to leave your house at six. We have a nice surprise planned for you.” Now at six p.m., Rose and Denise stood just outside Charlie-Bob’s front door. Charlie-Bob saw lust in the girls’ eyes, and a blue necktie in Denise’s hand.
“We’re taking you for a ride, buddy,” Rose said, doing a bad imitation of a movie gangster. Then Denise blindfolded Charlie-Bob with the necktie.
Denise and Rose pulled him out to Rose’s car, a door was opened, and he was gently pushed into the car. He figured out that he was in the back seat. Three car doors slammed, then the car was started.
From the front seat, Rose’s voice said, “You’ll have, ohmigod, so much fun tonight. Trust us on this.”
From the back seat, Denise said, “If there’s anything you want me to do, tell me. If Ah’m doing, like, anything wrong, tell me this too.” With that said, hands went to Charlie-Bob’s crotch, his cock was pulled out from his clothing, and a hot and wet mouth started sucking him.
Minutes later, the car stopped and Rose shut off the engine. “We’re here,” Rose said. “This is totally your night, Charlie Bob, so tell Denise what you want now. She can put your dick back in your pants, or Ah can wait till she finishes you, you know?”
“What do you want, Denise?” Charlie-Bob made himself ask.
Denise took her mouth off his cock only long enough to say, “My hero, Ah want to totally please you.”
He gasped, “Is anybody watching me now?”
“Not a soul,” Rose answered. “Ah parked in, like, a dark part of the parking lot.”
He replied, “In that case, Denise, finish MMMMEEEE!” For two seconds, Charlie-Bob actually saw stars because of his powerful orgasm.
Denise milked him soft, then continued to suck him. When he felt himself getting erect and excited again, he made himself say, “Stop now.”
As Denise got him decent, Charlie-Bob said, “That was incredible!”
Charlie-Bob felt his cheek get kissed.
Then Denise said, “By the way, if you hadn’t stopped me, Ah was all set to suck you off twice in a row, swear to God. Even though Ah never once gave Kevin a twofer.”
The backseat car door was opened, and Denise and Rose pushed/pulled the still-blindfolded Charlie-Bob out of the car. Then he was guided into walking fifty or a hundred yards on paved ground, as he heard children playing nearby. Then Charlie-Bob was guided up a narrow staircase. Once he reached the top of the stairs, a door was knocked on: “Shave and a haircut.”
That door was opened. “Come in, Charlie-Bob, Rose, and Denise,” a young woman’s voice said.
Charlie-Bob was gently pushed forward, then the door was shut behind him. Rose’s voice said, “Now you can take off the blindfold, my hero.”