3 comments/ 26324 views/ 4 favorites My Crush By: TheReadingMan Author's Note: All characters in this story are eighteen years or older. ***** It happened on a Saturday. I had just woken up and sat up in the bed when the phone rang. At first, I was just going to let it ring and go take a piss, because I had to really bad, but then I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my best friend, Sebastian. Why he was calling me in this day and age when he could've just texted me or sent me a message through Facebook or Twitter, I'll never understand, but he did and I pressed the talk button and put the receiver up to my ear. "Hello," I said in a morning voice. The black curtains on the window blocked out most of the light, but it was bright enough to see my room. Clothes I had dumped on the floor were still in a pile in the corner, waiting for me to throw them in the washer, and all of my schoolwork and novels were thrown all over the computer desk sitting not ten feet away from the foot of my bed. "Yo, C? Is that you?" "Yeah, Sebastian. It's me." "Yo, C, it's me Sebastian!" "Yeah, Sebastian I know who it is. What's up?" "The ceiling." "Ha. Ha. Really funny." I looked at the clock. It read 8:32. "It's eight-thirty, why are you calling so early?" "'Cause I just found something out that is going to make you freak!" "What's that? That this is just a dream and I'm actually in bed sleeping right now." "No, silly. I mean, yeah, that, too. But this is even better! Guess who I just found out is gay!" "If you say Chaz Bono, I swear to god, I'm going to kick you in the nuts the next time I see you." "Wait a minute! Chaz Bono's gay?" "Sebastian." I said, shaking my head. "All right! All right. I'll tell you. Now get ready because it's a big one." "Sebastian, I swear to god, if you don't tell me right now, I'm hanging up and going back to sleep." "Troy Townsend." My heart skipped a beat. "What?" Now, for those of you who don't know Troy Townsend: Troy Townsend was Chrystalview Parks' hottest most popular guy. Everyone liked him. Gay guys, straight guys, women, lesbian women. Everybody. Especially me. Ever since the first time I saw him ,which was in the first grade, I had the biggest crush on him, and it always bothered me that he was straight. Or that I thought he was straight. Whatever. But now Sebastian was telling me that that wasn't true and I didn't know how to respond. I just sat there, the phone pressed tightly against my ear, my mouth partially open, my heart beating rapidly, the room suddenly spinning. Sebastian asked me if I heard him and I shook myself out of my daze and realized how stupid I was. "Sebastian, that's not nice. Don't joke about that. You know I like him." "I'm not joking, C. I'm serious. Troy is gay. I just found out from Damon and you know Damon doesn't lie." All hope came back to me. "Are you serious? Is he sure? Does he like KNOW know? Or is it just a rumor at this point?" "No, he know knows. He said Troy told him himself. Now, he doesn't want anyone to know just yet, so don't say that I said anything, don't even act like you know, but yeah, he's gay." "Oh, my god," I almost screamed. "You know what this means?" "Yeah, it means Troy can finally be my bitch.." My voice got low. "Sebastian." "I'm kidding, C. I'm kidding. I know what this means. It means you have a chance with him now. But you're gonna probably have to move fast, because I know Damon is a sweet guy and all, but once he finds out someone he likes is gay, he moves right in." "Holy shit, you're right! What the hell am I gonna do? If he told Damon then that means Damon probably already made his move already." "No, he hasn't. Trust me, Damon still hasn't done anything. He told me this morning that he thought about moving in on Troy last night, but that Troy passed out before he could." "What? He passed out?" "Yeah, they were at Barney's last night. They drank a ton of shit, he said, and Troy just passed out on the couch." Suddenly an idea hit me. "Wait a minute," I said. "If they were drinking last night, what if that's the reason why Troy told Damon. Maybe he'll wake up today and not even remember saying anything last night." "Oh," Sebastian said. "I didn't even think about that." My heart sank. I was hoping Sebastian would have an answer for that, too, but he didn't and I felt like crying. "But maybe it wasn't just the booze. Maybe Troy really did mean to come out to Damon." Maybe. Or maybe not. Sebastian, if he didn't really mean to come out to Damon, then that means that I'm even more screwed, because how am I supposed to approach him about it if I'm not even supposed to know and he doesn't want anyone to know?" "I don't know." "Ugh," I grunted, throwing myself backwards on the bed. "Why the hell does everything have to be so fucking complicated?" "I don't know," Sebastian said. "Well, you better know something, because I feel like shit right now." "Okay, then, how about: All good things will die in the end." "That's supposed to make me feel better." "You asked for something. You didn't say it had to make you feel better." Although that was true, I still didn't like it. "Anyway, so what are we gonna do about this?" "What do you mean what are we gonna do about this?" I asked. "I mean, what are we gonna do about Troy. How are we gonna find out if he likes you or not?" "Oh, no," I said, knowing exactly what Sebastian was getting at. "We are not gonna do anything stupid tonight, Sebastian. I'm still reeling from the blow I took last month with that thing with the dwarf and the fish." "Oh, come on," Sebastian said. "That wasn't that bad. He didn't mean to hurt your feelings. He was married, that's all." "Anyway," I said. "Please, Sebastian! Please, let's just let this one go. I don't wanna be embarrassed again." "You won't be, C. I promise. I'll give Damon another call, find out what he's doing tonight, and I'll think of something for us to do to find out everything we need to know." "You better not embarrass me again, Sebastian. I swear. I'll cut your nuts off." "Then what will you have to play with when I come over?" "Balls will be balls. Whether they're attached to you or not." "Eww! Okay. This conversation is getting weird." I laughed. 'Yeah, it is. Let's stop talking now. I'll talk to you later." "Okay, sweetie pie. See ya." "Bye." "Love you." "Love you, too." "Bye." "Bye." We hung up. My heart much calmer than before, my palms feeling a bit sweaty, my legs hanging off the bed, I threw the phone to the side and looked up at the sexy Kim Kardashian poster looking back down at me from the ceiling. Kim's tits were hanging over a bra and she had her ass sticking out and her lips puckered. It was the sexiest poster I had ever seen and she was the most beautiful woman in the world, but I couldn't even really see her right now. My eyes were looking through her, the clouds, the skies, the stars which I'm sure had faded away a couple hours ago as the sun rose, at the future, at tonight. . "Please, Gods," I said. "Let everything go well tonight. Please. Getting Troy would be the greatest thing in the world." Then I remembered I had to take a piss. My house wasn't that big, so you pretty much knew when someone was in a room or not, depending on what they were doing. My mom, who didn't give a shit what time it was, was in the kitchen, washing dishes and slamming them down on the counter loud enough for everyone to hear. When I walked in, she said, "Hey, Papi! Whatchoo doin' up so early?" Thousands of times I had explained to my mother that I hated being called "Papi" or anything that you would call a male, but instead of correcting her like I usually did, I decided to let it go and just move on. Today really was not the day for an argument or a lecture. "You didn't hear the phone?" I said. "No, why? Did someone call?" "No, the phone just rang, but there was no one on the other end." "Hey, don't get smart with me, Miha! I meant, who called?" "Sebastian." "This early? Why didn't he just text or send you a message on Facebook or Twitter?" I could've told her about the whole Tory thing, but I was afraid she'd get all mushy and gushy and say things like, "Awe, my little baby has a crush! How sweet!' Or: "Soon you'll be married and I can finally be an adopted grandmother!" So I just said, "I don't know. He's a weirdo, you know how he is." "Yeah, I do. But he's a sweet weirdo. I'm so glad he's your friend. He's much better than that other asshole, what's his name again? The one from Flagster?" "Henry, Mom." "Yeah, Henry, that one. He was an asshole. I'm glad you stopped seeing him. He was bad news." "Yes, he was." I sat down at the kitchen table and realized the light in the kitchen was off. "Mom, why is the light off?" "Because it doesn't need to be on. The bill last month came in at four hundred dollars. I'm not doing that again. We need to start being careful with what we do. Like taking long showers." "Well, then tell that to Nicky, because he's always taking hour long showers and shit. He's gonna drain all the oceans in the world and cause a drought one day. What the hell could he be doing in there that takes an hour?" "Well, Mama, I could tell you, but then you won't wanna eat breakfast." I got the point. Grimacing, I said, "Eww. Okay. Nevermind. Forget I even said anything." My mother laughed. 'Aye, Papi! You're always so shy about the normal things. You need to relax and realize that those kinds of things are okay and there's nothing wrong with them. Everyone does it. Don't you?" "Okay, I'm outta here," I said, throwing up my hands. I started to rise. My mother laughed again. "No, no," she said, laughing. "No, sit. I was just playing. Whatever you do in private is none of my business. Believe me." "I would hope so. I'd hate to think you installed cameras in the bathroom." "What about if I installed them in your room?" "You wouldn't dare?" "You wanna bet?" "No." "Good. Because you would lose, honey." "I'm sure I would," I said, and got up and went to the fridge. The fridge was empty, except for a bottle of milk that would expire the next day, and I closed the door. "Mom, can you make me some oatmeal?" "Sure thing, honey. I'll make you some." When it was all ready, my mother put the bowl of oatmeal in front of me and handed me a spoon. "Here you go, Mama! Enjoy." "Thanks, Mom." I took a few bites and moaned at how delicious it tasted. Now, you would probably think what was the big deal? It was just oatmeal. Well, no it wasn't. You see, my mother, when she cooks oatmeal, doesn't just make it the way your mother makes it. She adds a special ingredient to it that only her, my grandmother (on my father's side), and my father know, and it comes out better than any other oatmeal in the world. I swear. When it was all in my tummy, I leaned back against the chair and looked at the clock on the stove. It read: 10:00. As I was eating, my mother had gone to take a shower, so I was now in the kitchen by myself, soaking in the light coming in from the window above the sink and letting my stomach digest the oatmeal calmly. Right before I could declare to myself how beautiful this morning was, my older brother, Nicky, came in, a huge, clownish smile on his face. "Guess what I just found out." "Oh, no," I said, sitting up. "Who told you?' "Are you kidding me? It's allover Twitter. Troy is gay." "Are you shitting me? It's allover Twitter?" "Yeah, it's allover Twitter. Apparently he tweated it out to everyone this morning. I guess he decided what the hell and just let everybody know." "Oh, no," I said, putting my face into my palms. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked. "Now I'll never be able to tell him how I feel before somebody else does." "Wait! What?" my brother said, sarcastic literally radiating off of his words. "You'll never be able to—what?" He burst into laughter. Oh, oh," he said, in between laughs. "This is too good to be true. You actually think..." More laughs. "You actually think he would go for you?" Even more laughs. I looked up at him. He was already extremely tall and ugly and when he laughed he looked even more uglier, like a mutated hyena. "Stop it, you fucking idiot. It's not funny," I said. "Oh, yes, it is. It's very funny." "What's going on in here?" my mother said, walking in, a towel wrapped around her head, another one around her body. "What's so funny?' "You're daughter is,' he said. "What's so funny about you?" she told him. He stopped laughing. "Ha! Ha!" I said, shaking my head at him. "Mom, that's not cool. I may be gay, but I ain't no girl." "Sometimes I wonder." She and I both smiled at eachother. "Anyway, what's so funny? What are you laughing at?" "Nothing," I said, motioning to Nicky to shut the fuck up before I smacked the shit out of him. ' "Tell me,' my mother said. "I wanna laugh, too." "I'll tell you, Mom," Nicky said. "It's nothing, Mom. Really." I turned to my brother. "Nicky, don't say anything." "No, I'm gonna tell her since you think I'm so goddamn hilarious." "No!" I screamed. "Tell me what? What's going on? Now you're scaring me." "It's nothing, Mom. Really. It's nothing." I got up, got ready to hit Nicky, but before I could even get close to him, he ran around the table and said, "C has a crush on a guy and he thinks he actually has a chance with him." "Who? What guy?" my mother said. "No one, Mom. He's lying. Don't believe anything he says." I chased my brother around the table, but he was too quick. He threw a chair in front of me and I almost crashed into it. "Hey, hey! Both of you! Stop right now or I"ll ground the both of you!" "You can't ground us, Mom," Nicky said. "We're adults." "You wanna bet?" my mother said. "No," Nicky said. "Then sit down. Both of you." We sat down. On opposite sides of the table. Quiet. Me, secretly hating my brother right now. He, secretly hating me. We didn't look at each other, nor at our mother, but at the table, our hands on our laps, our backs straight as logs. "Good. Now what's this I hear about a crush?" "Mom, he was just saying that—" "Nicky!" I lowered my head. "I found out today that the guy he likes is gay." "Okay, and what's this boy's name?" Nicky said, "Troy—" "Ciel!" my mom screamed. My face got all hot. "His name's Troy, Mom." "Troy? THEE Troy? The Townsend's son?" My brother snickered. "I told you." "Fuck you!" I said. "Both of you, shut up!" our mother shouted. And we both did. My mother took a deep breath, let it out, then said, "Okay. So you have a crush on Troy?" "Yes," I said. "And you always thought he was straight?" "Yes, Ma'am." "But now he's not?" "Correct, Ma'am." "Awe, my baby has a crush!" My face got even hotter than before and I lowered my head. My mother came over to me and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss. "That is so cute. Once he finds out I'll be getting my adopted grandchild. I'mma be so happy." She gave me another kiss. "That's the thing, Mom. He wrote it allover Twitter and if everyone knows, I'll never get my chance to tell him." "As if," Nicky said. "Shut up, Nicky, and go upstairs," my mother said. "I've had enough of you." "No, Mom, I'm sorry! I swear I'll be good." "You're grounded two weeks, and I don't wanna hear anything else about it or it'll be three. Now go." My brother did as he was told and my mother said, "I'm sorry, sweetie. What was it you were saying?" "I said, I won't be able to get my chance with him if everyone knows." "Why not?" "Because there are tons of other guys out there who would love to get their hands on him and a lot of them are much faster than I am. By the time I see him he'll probably have a boyfriend and everything and I'll be pushed away like I don't even matter." "Well, if he does that, then fuck him," my mother said. "Mom, if he has a boyfriend, I'm not gonna go and—" "No, not like that!" she said, waving away my statement, disgusted. "Oh." "Jesus, you talk about me saying some things." She shook her head and moved around the table and sat down in the chair Nicky was sitting in. "I mean, fuck him like forget him. Just move on. He won't be worth having if he just pushes you to the side like it's nothing." "But, Mom, what else do you expect him to do if he gets a boyfriend? You don't want him to cheat on him do you?" "No. But that's not what I mean. What I mean is, go speak to him about how you feel. Even if he is talking to someone. See what he says. For all you know, he may feel the same thing about you." "He doesn't even know me that well." "You don't know him that well, right? I mean, he could feel the exact same way for you that you feel for him." She said that last sentence in the same tone that she used when she knew something that I didn't. "Mom, are you trying to tell me something?" "No," she said, getting up. "What would I be trying to tell you?" "Mom, do you know something I don't know?" "Like what?" "Mom, for real. if you do, tell me, please. I want to know." "What's that?" she said, turning her head, pretending to hear somebody who wasn't there. "I'll be right there." "Mom!" I said, but she didn't answer, as I expected. And it really annoyed me. She got up and left. Putting an arm on the table, I sighed. What a morning, I thought, thinking about all that had happened in such a short amount of time. Maybe tonight will be better. If Sebastian doesn't fuck anything up like he always does. As soon as that thought crossed my mind, my cell phone rang and I took it out of my jeans pocket. The caller ID read: Sebastian, and I pressed the little green answer button on bottom right corner of the screen and put it to my ear. "Hey, Sebastian," I said. "Hey, C! Look, before you say anything, there's something you need to know." My fingers squeezed the phone and my heart sank. . "Oh, god. Sebastian, what did you do? I told you not to do anything." "I know, and believe me, I really regret doing it, but it's already been done and there's nothing I can do about it." "Hurry up and tell me what it is already! I'm dying to know." "I hacked into Troy's Twitter account and wrote that he was gay!" I could imagine Sebastian's skinny, rocker-looking ass standing up in the middle of his room, holding his hand out in a kind of "ta-da!" way as he spoke. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I shrieked. "You did that?" "You already saw it?" "Yeah—I mean, no. My brother did and he said everyone knows now." "Yeah, well...Yeah. Everyone knows now." "Oh, my god! Sebastian, how could you do something like that? That's horrible. What if Troy doesn't want people to know and you scared him off from ever coming out ever?" "That's what I was talking about when I said before you say anything, there's something you need to know. As soon as I put up the Twitter post, I got a call from Damon and he said that whoever put up the Twitter post was an asshole—wink, wink—but that Troy was completely cool with it and in fact, he's gonna leave it up and just be proud of who he is." "Wow. Are you serious?" "No, I'm lying. Yeah, I'm serious. He's completely cool with it apparently, so you still have your chance to be with him." The way Nicky made fun of me today came back to me and I looked down at the ground. "Sebastian, I don't know if this is gonna work out so well. I know that I really like Troy and all, but—" "But nothing, C. It's gonna work. Trust me. Have I ever been wrong." Before I could bring up all the times he had been, not just wrong, but horrifically wrong, he added, "Besides all the times you know about." My Crush I chuckled. "Sebastian..." "Look, C, I know how you feel and I promise you. No, I swear to you. I will not fuck this one up, okay? This is too big for me to fuck up." "Yeah, like the banks were to big too fail." "That was different. Those are banks. You're a person. This one won't fail, I promise." We just stayed quiet for the next couple of seconds, waiting for one another to say something else. Then I said, "So, what do you have planned?" "I knew you'd come around," he said, happily. 'Okay, so I already spoke to Damon and he said that there's gonna be a party tonight at Don's house. You remember Don right? Big tall guy. Lots of hair. Likes to speak in poetry." "Yes, I know him." "Well, he's throwing a party and he's inviting everyone. Including Troy. So Damon said he's definitely going. But! He thinks he's gonna get Troy drunk again and fuck him before he can pass out, but I'm not going to let that happen. Damon said for us to meet him at his place so we can get a little high before we go to the party and I think that'll be the best time for you to tell Troy how you feel. I'll keep Damon busy, get him talking about something or give him a quickie or something and I'll leave you and Troy alone long enough for you to tell him how you feel." I was about to say something, but he cut me off and added, "Now, I know you're shy and all that other bullshit, but what you have to remember is this...You only have one shot at this...If you don't tell him right then and there how you feel about him and you don't find out, then you can just forget it, because there are tons of guys that are willing to do it before you do and I guarantee somebody will by the end of the night if you don't. Whether it be Damon or another motherfucker, somebody's going to do it. We have the upper hand for a moment, because we know Damon and Damon knows Troy and we'll have some time to spend with each other before we get to the party, but if you don't go and tell him before we go to that party, all is lost. Do you hear me?" I considered everything Sebastian had just told me, thought about all the other options, and decided that he was right. "Okay," I said. "I'll do it." "You will? No lie?" "Yes, my friend. I will. I'll tell him at Damon's house while you guys are 'busy'." "Awesome!" "But I better not regret this, Sebastian. This better be worth it." "Trust me, baby. It will be." "I hope so." It will be. Don't worry. It will be." That night, I took a shower and got dressed in a black T-shirt, black jeans, black shoes, and black fingerless gloves, and I combed my hair so it would fall neatly onto my cheeks and a little over my eyes and put the tiniest diamond ring in my nose. Then I painted my lips black and blushed my cheeks a little. I didn't know if I was overdoing it with the makeup or anything, but I tried not to think about it and went to the living room. My mother looked at me, a shocked expression on her face, and said, "Whoa! What are you all dressed up for?" "I'm going out with Sebastian tonight. He's taking me to a party." "Oh, is it a date?" she said, playfully. "No, Mom. It's not a date. We're just friends, like always." "Oh, okay. I thought maybe you were trying to make that Townsend boy jealous." "His name's Troy, Mom, and no, I'm not trying to make him jealous. I just wanted to get dressed up a little." "All right, all right. Whatever you say." "Mom, I'm telling the truth." "I didn't say you were lying. Why do you think that's what I'm saying? Is your guilt getting to you?' "Mom—" The doorbell rang. "That must be him now. Don't say anything about it and just leave him alone." "I won't, honey. Now go, open it." I opened the door. Sebastian smiled a very enthusiastic smile at me and threw his hands up. "Hey, C! You ready to make Troy jealous?" "Ha!" my mother shouted. "I knew it." "Mom!" I said, my cheeks heating up. "Sebastian, don't let her believe that." "I'm sorry,' he said, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. I'm just playing around. It's not that, Mrs. F. Everyone knows we're friends." "I'm sure," my mother said. "I'm sure." I shook my head. "Anyway. Shall we go." "Yes, Ma'am,' Sebastian said, stretching forth his hand toward the Toyota Tundra that was parked in the street in front of my house . "Right this way, my lady." "Thank you," I said, bowing my head. "We're leaving, Mom. See you later." "All right, Papi! Have fun and go get him!" I sighed. "You see what I have to deal with," I said, closing the door. Sebastian grabbed my hand. "Yes, I do. And you are one lucky person." The air out here was cold and wet with the vapor from the rain that had fallen earlier in the day and the sky was blacker than the Devil's shadow and the street was quiet and empty, except for a few parked cars. The houses which lined my block and the block across the street were all dark, except for a few and even those seemed like they were asleep. Leading me down the driveway, Sebastian said, "I wish I had a mom like that." "You do," I said, and he got my point and when we got to the pick up truck, he opened my door and I climbed up and got inside and went around to the driver's side and got in. "Okay," he said, turning the engine on. "We're all set. Now all we have to do is get there and everything will be just fine." "Hopefully," I said. "No, not hopefully," Sebastian said. "It will be. Think positive, C." "I am thinking positive. That's why I said, 'Hopefully.'" "No, you're not. You're thinking negatively. I bet you're already wishing you were home." He was right about that. I did wish I had stayed in the house, but there was nothing I could do about it now. I was already in the truck and if I had tried to leave, Sebastian would've tackled me to the floor, hogtied me, and made me go anyway. Believe me. It sounds like bullshit. But it's true. He was crazy enough to do it. He put the truck in drive and we drove away, the night young and ready for us to explore all of its glory. Damon's house sat in the very middle of the Falcon Lake subdivision just off of I-92 and Old Banter road. The subdivision wasn't as clean as mine was nor was it as quiet, but we never ran into any problems and that was what really mattered. Damon's house was two stories high and painted white and had a white door with a brown arch standing over it, two windows next to the door that were covered by white curtains and a garage that was always open, even in the middle of the night. Instead of parking in the driveway next to Damon's black Ford Explorer, like I thought he would do, Sebastian parked in the street and turned off the car. "He's not here," he said. "Who's not here?" I said, taking a look at the Ford Explorer. "Troy." "How do you know?" "His car's not in the driveway. Duh." "No, I mean, how do you know Damon didn't drive him here. They are going to the party together, aren't they?" I started to get nervous. "Of course they are. Troy doesn't know his way and there's no way in hell he's going with somebody else. Damon's the one with the weed, remember? But I don't think he would let Damon drive him anywhere after that Burger King incident. He's still pretty traumatized." "What if Troy drove the car back here?" I said, trying to stay as hopeful as humanly possible. He grabbed his chin. "I didn't think about that." I shook my head. "Let's just go inside and find out what happened, okay?" I opened the door, my hands shaky and sweaty. The cool night air rushed into the car, hitting my face as it passed and I carefully let myself down, closing the door behind me. Within seconds, Sebastian joined my side and together we walked up to the garage. The garage was dark, except for a little light coming from the lava lamp Damon had placed on top of a box in the corner and we slowly walked to the door that led to the inside of the house, trying desperately not to trip over something. Sebastian knocked on the door, then touched my shoulder. "Don't worry, babe. Everything'll be all right." I almost said hopefully, then I remembered what he had told me before we left my house. "I know." "Remember, just relax and everything will be okay." "I know," I said. "And don't try to make yourself more masculine or anything. Just be yourself. Troy doesn't like fake people." "Sebastian, I know," I said, my voice a little louder. "I know. I'm just telling you. Jesus, you don't have to get all bitchy. You see that right there, that's the kind of shit I'm—" The door opened and the light from inside blasted us in the face and I smiled when I saw Damon. He held in his right hand a bong, smoke spilling out over the tip, and a joint in his left. A white robe covered his beautifully ebony body, and a blue bandana hid his bald head. As usual he wore eyeliner and pink lip gloss and a giant circle ear ring in his right ear. "Well, if it isn't Sebastian and Ciel," he said. "About time yaw bitches got here. I was about to smoke all this shit without yaw." "Sorry about that," Sebastian said, stepping into the house, giving Damon a kiss on the cheek. "Traffic was a bitch." "At this hour?" Damon said, leaning into my face as I leaned into his. "Goddamn Florida don't know how to chill." He made a kissing sound. "Hey, baby!" "Hey," I said, and walked around him into the house. "Everybody must be throwing parties tonight. Or going to the same one we're going to." "I wouldn't doubt it," Sebastian said. "I heard this shit's gonna be bumpin." "God will it, baby! God will it. God knows we can use some bumpin tonight, if you know what I mean." He laughed. Sebastian and I did, too. My laugh was definitely fake. I don't know about theirs, but if I had to guess, I would say they were, too, because that wasn't funny at all. The living room had white walls that were coated with posters of Martin Luther King, Malcom X, Jesus Christ, Gandhi, Billy Holiday, Harvey Milk, and Elvis, and large cut outs of letters stuck together to form quotes and sentences from all of these people and others like John Lennon, Stephen King, H. P. Lovecraft, and Edgar Allan Poe. The four love seats, which formed a square around the little brown table in the middle of the room were all covered in flowers and plastic and the book shelves that held all kinds of books from all different cultures and time periods and genres and little statues of anime characters like Yugioh, Bleach, and One Piece, and religious figures like Krishna, King Zeus, and Queen Hera. The floor was made of wood and the light from the lamps above the book shelves and the chandelier hanging over the middle of the room shined nicely against it. The television wasn't anything special, but why did it have to be when he had all those books to keep him company after he smoked a little weed. "Yaw, can sit on the couches. Don't act like you never been here before." "We know," Sebastian said. "We were just waiting for you." "Waiting for me for what? To escort you to your seats. You think just because I'm black I gotta be escorting you places? What are you some kind of racist?" "Well, now that I think about it..." "You're so stupid, Sebastian." Damon said, sitting on the love seat closest to the television. "That's why I love you." "That's why I love me, too," Sebastian said, and we sat down on the love seat opposite the one Damon sat on. Damon set the bong down on the ground, smoke no longer spilling out of the tip, and dug into the pockets of his robe. "You know, I don't normally give out weed for free, but since you all are my bitches, I'll happily provide what I can." "That means a lot to us," Sebastian said, "but you don't have to if you don't want to. I can always get better shit later on." "And from who will you be getting this better shit from, I might ask?" He pulled out three joints, all of them skinny as hell. I didn't smoke much, but I knew when somebody was being cheap. "I have my sources. And they tell me it's way better than the stuff you got." "Well, they telling you lies, honey. I grow the best shit in this whole goddamn state and don't you ever believe otherwise. Here you go, baby. Enjoy." He threw me a joint and I caught it. "Thanks," I said, and examined it. "No problem. I was gonna give Sebastian's ass here a joint, too, but since he thinks he can get better weed, I'll just keep these for myself." "All right. Whatever you say. But next time you want some crystal and I'm the only motherfucker with some in a hundred miles, we'll see who'll be wishing they gave me a joint today." Damon sighed. "You still bringing that up?" He threw Sebastian a joint and it landed on Sebastian's lap. "That happened once and like a hunnerd years ago. It's time to move on, honey. Let the past be the past." "And I will," Sebastian said, lighting my joint with a silver lighter he found on the little table sitting in the middle of the room.. "Right after you stop blaming me for what happened to your tree." "I loved that tree, dumbass. That's not the same thing." "I loved my crystal," he said, lighting his own joint. "So it is the same thing." "Whatever," Damon said, rolling his eyes, taking a puff of his joint. . "So," he said, looking at me, smoke pouring out of his nose and mouth. "How you doin', C? Been keepin busy, as usual?" "Yup," I said, my face getting red. "As busy as I can possibly be." I took a drag. "That's good. It's good to keep busy. Keeps you outta trouble. Unless you hang out with this motherfucker here." We both looked at Sebastian as he lightly tapped the burning side of the joint and sniffed it, then put the opposite end in his mouth. When he saw us looking at him, he said, "What?" "You see what I'm saying?" Damon said, turning his head back to me. I smiled, then took another drag. This one longer than the last. We heard a door close upstairs and within seconds Troy came into the room from the kitchen. He looked as handsome as ever in a tight blue shirt that really showed off his muscular physique, blue jeans that hugged his legs so tight I thought they would explode, and black shoes. His golden hair, which fell down to his jaw was wet and stuck to his face and his tan skin, which always looked sweet in the light glistened gorgeously. "Whoa! What the hell? Troy's here?" Sebastian said. "Holy shit! I didn't think you'd gotten here yet." "Yeah, Damon came over and I drove us back here. My folks were borrowing my car tonight." "Wow," Sebastian said. "That's pretty generous of you." "Well, they're my folks, so..." "I'm sure," Sebastian said. The way he spoke, you would've thought he had smoked a couple of joints by now, but the one Damon had given him was still in his mouth and barely had gone down much since he lit it. He gave Troy a hug as I stood up, then pulled away, and my crush, my sweet, hot, gorgeous crush looked at me with his shiny sapphire eyes and smiled. "Hey, Ciel," he said, in the most wonderful voice you could ever imagine. "H-hey, Troy," I said, my face flushed. "How's it goin'?" "It's going good,' he said, still smiling, his teeth whiter than the clouds in Heaven. "How are you?" "I'm good." "That's good," he nodded, still smiling. "Yo, Troy, you wanna smoke some more weed or you had enough?" "Nah, I'm good," Troy, said, turning to Damon, then back to me. "I've had enough." Suddenly, I felt stupid for smoking the joint, but I couldn't just throw it away without making myself feel even more stupid, so I just held it to my side, hoping Troy wouldn't address it or anything. "Or you can share Ciel's," Sebastian said. "He's not much of a smoker, anyway, and it's better than smoking a whole one, isn't it?" "Uh..." I said, looking at Sebastian, hoping he felt the burn of my stare in his face. "That would be cool," Troy said. I looked back at him. "I mean, if you don't mind of course," he said. "No," I said. "I wouldn't mind. Here. Take as much as you want." "Thanks," Troy said, and took the joint. He brought it up to his lips and took a quick drag and I watched him in awe. I had seen dozens of people smoke weed before, but only Troy could make it look like an art. He exhaled softly and handed it back to me. "Here, you go, Ciel." "Why don't you guys sit on the love seat," Sebastian said. "That way it's easier for you to share." Again, I hoped my dumbass best friend could feel the burn of my stare in his face, but I knew he couldn't. He smiled and winked at me and Troy sat down on the love seat and I took another drag. Now, like Sebastian had said, I was not much of a smoker, but even still, I had only choked once on weed and that happened the first time I tried it, so when it happened to me this time, I completely freaked out and started coughing like an asthmatic into my free hand. Troy jumped to my aid and started hitting my back and asking if I was okay as Sebastian and Damon laughed and, in between coughs, I told him I was. "Whew," Troy said, after it was allover. "That was a good one. You okay?" "Yeah," I said, coughing one more time. "I'm fine. Holy shit!" I chuckled, my face all red and my eyes all watery. Troy laughed, too, but not much. He had this look of genuine concern on his face and it made my heart melt. "That's good. Just be careful. That's pretty strong stuff." "He knows what he's doin, honey," Damon said. "You don't need to lecture him." "I wasn't," Troy said. "I was just...I was making sure he was okay." The joint was still in my hand and, leaning over, I handed it to Troy. "Here, I think I've had enough, too." "Here, Sebastian, you want this?" "Eh, eh, eh, eh!" Damon said. "Hand that over to me. I'll take it." "My sweet crystal, Damon. My sweet crystal." Sebastian said it in his best impersonation of a man who was about to lose everything he had. "Fuck it," Damon sighed. "Give it to him." Troy handed the joint over to Sebastian and Sebastian put it in his mouth next to the one he already had and smoked both of them at the same time. Exhaling enough smoke to take down a grizzly, he said in a muffled voice, "Ah, that's some good shit." "I'm glad you like it, motherfucker, 'cause those are the last two I give you tonight." "My sweet crystal," Sebastian said. "All of that crystal. I could've smoked it all." "That's not gonna work on me this time, Sebastian. That's enough. It's getting old now." "All right, then. We'll see." "Yes, we will." I coughed again and Troy rubbed my back gently, the warmth of his hand seeping through my clothes. At least, I thought it was. It could've just been my imagination making me feel it. Either way, I was pleased. "You want some water," Troy asked. "Yes, please," I said, sitting up. Another cough burst through my throat. "All right. I'll be right back, okay?" "Okay." As he walked away, I looked at Damon and Sebastian and they both nodded to me in this kind of you're-about-to-get-some-dick-tonight way and I couldn't be more confused. Wasn't it Damon who I had to watch out for? Wasn't Sebastian supposed to get me and Troy alone so that I could tell him how I feel and hopefully start a relationship with him? Wasn't Damon supposed to be trying to get in his pants? Then it hit me. You sons of bitches, I thought. They were both in on it. Damon and Sebastian. Damon wasn't after Troy and Sebastian was never going to get Damon away from me long enough for me to tell Troy how I felt. He already knew how I felt. They told him. No wonder he looked the way he did when he came out here. They planned for this to happen. But then why not just tell me so? Why pretend like Damon was after Troy so I could tell the beautiful angel how I felt about him? If they had just said, "Look, Troy is coming over so you better come over before we go to the party so you can tell him how you feel," I would've came over. Why the hell did they have to put up such a ruse? My Crush Maybe because they're stupid, I thought. No, not maybe. They are stupid. Both of them. I hate you guys. Not really. But I do. "You bastards," I whispered to them. Sebastian and Damon both shook their heads, mouthing, Ha! Ha! to me, and laughing quietly to themselves, and Troy came back into the room, holding a glass of water, and they both stopped and pretended like nothing was going on. "Here you go, Ciel," Troy said, handing me the glass. "Thank you," I said, another cough escaping my throat. "Of course," Troy said, and sat down next to me. I took a sip of the water. It tasted cold and fresh and I sighed. "Better," Troy said. "Yeah," I said, nodding. "Much better." He smiled and said, "Good." "So," Damon said, "Now that C is all good and better now, how about we get ready to go? I'm fuckin' ready to party." "You're leaving already?" Troy said, and I looked at him. Wait a minute, I thought. I thought he was going, too. What the hell kind of plan was this? I glared at Sebastian, but he didn't notice. He was looking at Damon, who stood up, saying, "Yup. I think I'm high enough. Well, maybe not. But I'm feeling good enough to go. How about you, Sebastian?" "I was born ready, babe. You know me." "Yes, I do," Damon said, and dropped his robe, revealing a very sexy, very revealing black dress underneath. The middle had been cut to show his muscular chest and the bottom, which only reached his knees, had been chopped up in such a way that it looked like the bottom of Batman's cape. "All right, then," Troy said, and turned to me. "So I guess we won't have to endure these two any longer, huh?' "What?" I said. "Nope," Damon said, taking his bandana off and showing off his shiny bald head. "You boys have the whole house to yourselves. You can do whatever you want, and I do mean WHATEVER YOU WANT! Just don't break anything, okay?" "We'll try," Troy said, jokingly. He looked at me and smiled. "Right, Ciel?" My face burned furiously. "Yup." "Good," Damon said. "Sebastian, go get me the wig in my room." "Which one? The Straight one or the curly one." "The curly one. I threw the other one away." "Really? Why? It fit you so well." "It's a long story. Just know that if it wasn't for Troy, you'd be able to read my thoughts right now." Shaking his head, Troy chuckled. "You're welcome." "Thank you, baby. Hurry, Sebastian, let's go. I'm ready to blow this joint. And some niggas, if you know what I mean.' Walking out the room, Sebastian said, "Damon, everyone knows what the hell you mean." "Awe, don't blow out my candle, baby. I'm just getting started." "Whatever you say." Sebastian came back with the wig and handed it over to Damon. "Thank you very much." He put it on and now he looked like Foxy Cleopatra if Foxy Cleopatra bulked the fuck up. "All right," he said. "Let's go. See ya, babies!" He blew kisses at me and Troy and Sebastian followed him close behind, waving at us. "See ya later, C. Hope you have a good time." He winked at me." I wanted to hide. As soon as they were gone, Troy said, "You know, I was just playing before when I said we have to be careful. We don't have to do anything you don't wanna do." "I know," I said, smiling. "I didn't doubt you were playing." "Okay, cool," he said, sounding relieved. "Awesome." He rubbed his thighs, nervously, and I took another sip of the water. It was warmer than before, but still tasted pretty good. "So, uh...What do you wanna do?" About a thousand sexual things passed through my mind, but I didn't want to sound like a slut, so I said, "I don't know. What do you wanna do?" "Uh," he said, shrugging his shoulder, looking around the room, then back at me. "How about we watch a movie?" "All right. Which movie?" "Uh," Troy said looking at the cabinet under the television. "I'll go see which movies she has." "All right," I said. And he went over to the television and got down on the floor. He opened the cabinet and I could see about a DVD player on the top shelf and about a hundred movies on the bottom shelf. I didn't know if I should join him, but it didn't matter, because before I could even decide what I was going to do, he pulled out a DVD case and said, "Do you wanna watch Titanic?" I had seen the movie a thousand times, but I couldn't get enough of it. Trying to play it cool, I shrugged I said, "Sure." "Okay. Cool." He turned on the DVD player, stuck the DVD in the slot, and, grabbing a remote from on top of the DVD player, got up and came back to the love seat. The TV was to the side of us, so he suggested we move to the couch facing it and we did. The couch opposite this one blocked some of our view, so, after laughing, me and him got up and moved the couch out the way, then went back and sat down. After pressing a button, the television turned on and the movie's title menu appeared on the screen. Troy hit the play option and the movie started. We watched the first act, quietly, Troy keeping to his side of the couch, me keeping to mine. At some point during the second act, we got closer to each other and Troy put his arm around me and my heart began pounding in my chest and my hands trembled slightly. When the sex scene began, my face, I'm sure, grew bright red and burned and Troy put his hand under my chin and made me look into his eyes. We stayed like that for just a moment, then Troy leaned into my face and pressed his lips against mine and we made out for quite some time, Troy holding the side of my face in his hand, me getting lost in the moment completely, forgetting that we were on Earth and not in Heaven. Then Troy pulled away and started kissing my neck. I moaned, my breaths coming and going heavily, shakily, and I said, "Oh, Troy." He moved up to my cheek, then to my lips, then pulled away and, looking into my eyes, said, "You know how to give a blowjob, right?" "Mmhmm." I nodded, my heart shaking. "Good,' he said. " 'Cause you're gonna give me one, okay?" "Okay," I said. He kissed me again, sliding his hand through my hair and pushing it over my ear. "You wanna go right now or...?" "Yeah, let's go right now," I said. I didn't just want to pleasure him. I needed to pleasure him. "All right," he said. He stood up and took my hand. "Let's go to the bed. It's more comfortable." "Okay," I said, standing up. "Wait, what about the movie?" "Just let it play," Troy said. "It'll be all right. The room he took me to had to be where Damon slept. There were posters just like the ones downstairs all over the walls and books and papers all over the floor and computer desk sitting about five feet away from the foot of the bed. The bed had been slept in recently. There was no doubt about that. The sheets were all over the place and the pillows were handing off the head and there was a stack of magazines on the corner closest to us. Troy picked up the stack of magazines with both hands and brought them to the computer desk. "Damon," he said, shaking his head, his face a little red. "Always leaving his stuff around." The magazines were of sexy chubs and I that told me everything. They weren't Damon's. They were his. Damon didn't like chubs. "All right, so how should we do this. You want me to lie down and you come over me or do you mind being on your knees?" I didn't care. "Whatever you want." "All right, then," he said. "I'll sit on the edge." "Okay," I said. He dropped his jeans to his ankles and sat on the edge of the bed. His cock was about eight inches long and four inches thick and stood straight up over his big hairy balls. He put his arms next to him and leaned back just a bit, his body trembling enough for me to notice. I had given only one other blowjob in my life and that was to Sebastian, so I have to admit that I was pretty nervous, but I think what made me want to go through with it was the fact that I was about to give one to Troy, my crush, the hottest guy in the world, the guy I was nervous would never like me, the guy my brother made fun of me for wanting. My heart pounding, my palms sweating, my body trembling, I got in between Troy's legs and dropped to my knees. His cock stood at stomach level and I stared at it for a second, admiring how big and beautiful it was and I gripped the base of it and Troy gasped. "Ah, there you go," he said. "Do it real nice." I brought my hand up to the head, the sweat on my palm lubing up the shaft as it passed over it, and back down again. I remembered Sebastian telling me about the sensitivity of balls and I cupped Troy's nutsack gently and began tickling them softly with my fingers as my other hand continued to move up and down his shaft, stopping at the top occasionally to twist around the frenulum and glands. "Oh, yeah, baby," Troy said. "That feels so fucking good. Now put your mouth on it." I leaned into his cock, parted my lips, and wrapped them around his head, circling it lovingly with my tongue. Troy sat up more and put a hand on my face, moaning, "Oh, baby! Oh, fuck! You're so good at that." I stopped my hand at the bottom of his shaft, then took more of his cock in my mouth, trying to get it as far back as I could without gagging as I rubbed my tongue against the underbelly, and pulled my head back up. I looked up at his face and saw that he wasn't looking at me anymore, but up at the ceiling (or possibly into Heaven) and I went back down on him. When I pulled back up, the shaft of his cock shined with saliva and I felt proud that I had the ability to get almost all of it into my mouth without gagging at all. I slowly went back down on him, then picked up speed and started bobbing my head up and down on it, trying to give him more pleasure than I assumed he had ever had in his entire life without getting him off so quickly and making him feel like I just wanted to get it over with. The truth is, I loved it. I loved giving him pleasure. I loved sucking his cock as he moaned and held my face and told me how good I was and looked up at the Heavens through the ceiling. Before I could start stroking him with my hand and adding even more pleasure to the mix, he cried out, "Ah, fuck! I'mma come, Ciel! I'mma come!" and immediately a flood of come rush into my mouth. Without thinking, I stopped bobbing my head right at the head and started sucking on it like it was a straw and swallowed everything that came out. Spent, Troy fell back and I took my head off of his cock and, breathing deeply, he said, "Oh, fuck! That was awesome!" Honestly, I wish it would've lasted longer, but I still thought it was very awesome. "Yes, it was," I said, wiping my lips and chin with the back of my hand. "It was very awesome." He looked down at me, saying, "I'm drained. Come up here, so I can give you a kiss." "Okay," I said, and climbed on top of the bed, joining him by his side and giving him a kiss. "Wow," he said, still breathing hard. "Where'd you learn to do that?" "Porn," I lied. He laughed. "Damn, so you learned from the best, huh?" "I guess so," I said, and gave him a fake laugh. We kissed again and, after a while, fell asleep in each other's arms. "You should've seen your face," Sebastian told me. "Priceless." He laughed like an idiot and I shook my head softly. We were heading back home. The road and the trees and occasional hillbilly houses sitting on the side of the road were all dark and the moon was high in the sky and the inside of the vehicle was cold but comfortable enough for us to leave the heat and my jacket off. "It's not funny," I said. "You guys should've told me. I was scared all day. I thought maybe he'd turn me down or, worse, find somebody better." "I know," Sebastian said. "I'm sorry. We should've said something. But it was fun watching you be all nervous and shit. It's too bad we couldn't record it." "I would've beat the shit outta you if you recorded it." "It would've been worth it, sweetheart. It would've been so worth it." "Yeah, well, you're lucky we can't find out if that's true, otherwise you'd be in the hospital." "Damn, that's how you'd repay me after what I did for you?" "I'm just kidding, Sebastian. I wouldn't have been mad. I would've been happy, cause at least then we'd have proof that Troy is my boyfriend and nobody else can touch him." "I don't think you have to worry about that," he said. "Troy's a straight shooter. He's a little this and that sometimes, but a clean guy nonetheless. True to his word." "I hope so," I said. "Hey," Sebastian said. "What did I tell you about that word? Cut it out. You need to think positive from now on. No more negative thoughts anymore. Just keep your head up." "I know," I said. "I will." We got to my house not too long after and the lights inside were still on. I assumed my mother was still up and not my brother since he had to get up the next day real early to go to work. "All right," Sebastian said, stopping the car in the street in front of my lawn. "Here we are. Next stop, my house." I gave him a smile and said, "All right. See ya, babe." "See ya." I gave him a kiss on the cheek, then got out the car and, as I walked up to the door, turned back to wave at him as he drove away. My mother was sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of cola and eating a green ice pop. She turned to me and said, "Hey, honey! You're home early. I didn't expect you to be back so quick." I looked at the clock on the cable box laying next to the television on the table under it and saw that it was a quarter past three. Instead of telling my mother how late it was, I said, "We decided to come home early. Damon wasn't feeling so well." "Awe, poor guy. Did you have fun, at least?" "Yeah," I said, trying not to sound too happy. "I had fun." "How about Troy? Did you speak to him?" "Yeah," I said. "And?" "He likes me too," I said, excitedly, bouncing up and down enough to show her how happy I was that Sebastian's plan worked out. My mother let out a cry as she got off the couch, some of the soda spilling on the floor. . "I told you! You see! I knew he'd like you." "Mom, when did you say he liked me?" "This morning. Don't you remember? I told you he liked you." At the moment, I honestly couldn't remember her telling me anything of the sort and I believed she was just saying that to take credit for what happened tonight. "All right," I said. "Whatever you say." She put the soda down on the floor, then, ice pop dripping in hand, ran over to me and threw her arms around me. She shrieked, saying, "I'm so happy for you, Mama! I hope good things come out of this." "Me, too," I said, hugging her back. "Me, too." After watching a little bit of the Leonardo Dicaprio version of The Great Gatsby, I went upstairs and went to sleep thinking about all the good things to come.