2 comments/ 8374 views/ 11 favorites By the Grace of Guile By: komrad1156 *Author's note: Several years ago, I read an interesting book by author Loyal Rue, a professor of Religion and Philosophy at Luther College, called By the Grace of Guile. An excerpt from one review says this: "For people who are troubled by a world increasingly filled with the sweet-talking duplicity of politicians, preachers, advertisers, and sundry hucksters, Loyal Rue has a cheering message: don't worry, deception is simply a part of the natural order of things. In fact, deception can actually be good for us. By the Grace of Guile offers a detailed and very learned study of deception, which Rue defines as "the problematic distinction between appearance and reality." His book is devoted to examining deception and our efforts to avoid being duped. Deception can be either intentional or unintentional and it is everywhere. The bottom line is everyone uses deception to some degree and everyone hates being duped. Therefore, we expend enormous efforts to keep that from happening whether it's at the level of one country spying on another to making sure the person we love is being faithful. It takes a very skilled person to dupe most people and avoiding deception requires being very alert and aware at all times. Even then, most people can be fooled some of the time. As they say, buyer beware. ***** I've written about my crossdressing exploits numerous times and I've alluded to some things I did just before and after my first and only double date with my now ex-wife. (That story is detailed in The Agreement.) I chose not to share them until now because frankly, doing so exposes me as a hypocrite. That said, I don't know of anyone who isn't a hypocrite in some way at some degree. Most people just refuse to admit the truth. They're quick to point out hypocrisy in others but minimize or outright dismiss it in their own lives. My creed is simple: don't lie, cheat, or steal. Being misled and acting on bad information isn't lying but deceit is a form of lying because it has the same necessary element which is intent. A perfect example is whether or not former US president George W. Bush knew there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq and lied to take his country to war or whether he genuinely believed the assessments of the CIA and MI5-6 and acted on them in good faith with tragic consequences. Partisans on both sides of the issue, with access to the same information, still passionately cling to one view or the other allowing no possibility for their conclusions to be wrong. My earliest attempts at crossdressing in public were most definitely deceitful as I intentionally passed myself off as a genetic female with the intent of getting men to dance with me and, well, as you'll read, do a lot more than just dance. All of them willingly ignored any clues which might have tipped them off and I have to admit any one of these adventures could have ended with me in the ER or the morgue. Whether I was a lying, deceitful bastard or a very successful duper is for you to decide. Regardless of how you may feel about what I did, I hope you enjoy reading about what happened back when I was wearing the blonde wig in my 2010 pics on my home page and trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted just before and during my divorce proceedings. For the record, I am now always completely open and honest about who I am when dressed as Callie. However, it's a moot point for now as I'm living with a genetic female who is admittedly gay with bi-sexual interests. She loves me for who I am, and I love her just as she is. Our story is told in Serendipity. I have no idea what's behind the psychology of crossdressing. For the longest time, I really wanted to know why I was this way. What caused this? What made me this way? At some point, I quit caring because it doesn't matter. This is how I am and I'm finally completely comfortable with that. For the record, the so-called experts don't know, either. They have ideas and theories but no one really knows. And I no longer care. ______________________________________________________________________ Not long after my ex-wife and I double dated, we separated and divorced soon after. It was all very amicable, and I wish her nothing but the best. We don't stay in contact, but I'm sure she's found a very dominate and dominating male to serve as her new 'top.' I chose another path after my interest in crossdressing came back with a vengeance about a year before the divorce. I quit lifting weights and started running and dieting seven days a week. It took me about six months to get to where I was in the 2010 pics on my home page and another year to get where I was and still am in the brunette pics. I also had a nose job and some work done on my eyes. At the time these things happened, I looked like the 'before' pics from about six years ago. Once my ex-wife moved out, I devoted all of my free time, efforts, and money into becoming Callie Petersen. I spent hours watching videos on makeup application for both women and crossdressing males. I even took a class in cosmetology to help me learn how to shade and blend. I bought undergarments that were CAD designed to give my flat butt the shape it needed. I found a place where I could go and get a full-body wax and have my eyebrows sculpted. I developed a template for my eyebrows which allowed me to very precisely fill them in with perfect symmetry. False eyelash application had to be mastered, as well. I practiced with every possible shade of foundation and beard cover as well as highlighters and concealers. I got my ears pierced and wore nearly invisible, large-gauge pieces of fishing line at work to keep them expanded as I was still too afraid to wear earrings to work at that time. I experimented with every kind and color of lipstick and eye shadows made by every makeup company until I found exactly what worked best for me. I also spent a LOT of time learning to style my wig so that the hairline in front didn't give me away. Even an inexpensive wig can look good IF you know exactly how to prepare it. However, if it's not done correctly, even a very expensive human-hair wig is a dead giveaway and no matter how good everything else may be, you will be read. And it's women, not men, who will read you first. Women see everything. From your hairline to your Adam's apple to your hands, women see it all. Men will spot the obvious mistakes but if you look very good, they want you to be a woman so badly they'll ignore the tiny little things that will tip a woman off immediately. To fool them, you have to be almost perfect. I'd already built up a decent-size wardrobe of women's clothing, shoes, handbags, coats, and jewelry and just kept adding to it. I've shared my absolute fetish for rib-knit tops and cashmere sweaters many times and the majority of what I bought fit that description. I had more skirts than I could ever wear, and an endless amount of expensive heels and purses but just kept on buying. Lastly, I even saw a voice coach to help me with developing a more feminine voice. I'd practiced at home a lot using techniques I'd learned in videos before I went. After just one lesson she told me there was very little else she could do for me and that was that. After initially venturing out in my car at night and then walking down a public street with a lot of people around after dark, I finally got up the nerve to go to a mall and look around. I spent about three hours getting ready not including the time it took for a full body wax and showering. I knew not to wear anything too sexy or slutty because women just don't dress that way in public. That said, if you can't wear what you like, it isn't a lot of fun. Therefore, I chose a tan-colored skirt which fell to about three inches above my knees, a very pretty, very dressy long-sleeved black rib-knit sweater with 2 1/2" black heels, all of which was perfect for the Fall weather. As I pulled up to the mall and parked my car, I was feeling fairly confident, but still had a ton of butterflies swirling around in my stomach. I swung my legs out the way women do, grabbed my purse, hung it on my lower arm, and shut the door. I took one last look at my reflection in the car window, smiled, and turned around. Just as I'd practiced countless times, I began walking the way girls walk. While they definitely don't plod along like men, they also don't strut like runway models. Getting it right is something else that just takes a lot of practice. As I approached the entrance, a nice older man said, "Let me get that for you, young lady." I smiled, thanked him and stepped in. He smiled and told me I was very welcome. Women smile a lot more than men, and I needed to keep that in mind at all times. I was also aware that I had to force myself not keep looking around at people as though something was wrong which would make people think I had something to hide. After all, I was just another girl out shopping. I went around 6pm when women just getting off work and who are dressed professionally are on their way home. Too much makeup in the middle of the day is another dead giveaway, by the way unless one is going to or coming back from a professional type of job. Sure, there are women who wear full makeup in the middle of the day, but there aren't many of them and does draw a lot of attention so be very careful with that if you want to try it. I was unable to not look, but the reason turned out to be a positive rather than what I'd feared. Even after all of the time I'd spent preparing, I still had no idea how well I'd pass in public. I just assumed people might be pointing and snickering and that teenage girls would be giggling. What I noticed was that damn near every teenage boy and man I passed did indeed look at me. The pleasant surprise was that most of them smiled at me and many said 'hi'. I'd had this same experience many times as a man after I got my braces off in high school and had been lifting weights for about a year. Prior to that, I'd been invisible on my best days and the source of many caustic comments on my worst. So I knew the difference between being 'read' and being checked out. I wasn't being read but I was most definitely being checked out and I loved it! Everywhere I went, the girls in each shop who met me were friendly and helpful. I never saw anyone laugh or point or say a negative word. I bought earrings and several other small items and had a very pleasant first-time experience. That gave me the confidence I needed to try going out to dinner. The next week, I spent the same amount of time meticulously preparing, then drove to one of the nicer restaurants in the Northern Virginia area. What I didn't stop to think about was that very few women go out to dinner alone at a nice place like that. Are there exceptions? Of course. But I was the only 'woman' there by herself. It didn't draw any undue attention, but it was something worth keeping in mind for future reference. That said, the wait staff was very courteous, friendly, and helpful. I even had one waiter write his phone number on the back of the bill in spite of the fact I was wearing a very large Cubic Zirconia wedding ring on my left hand. For whatever reason, it just seemed exciting to pretend I was a married woman along with all the other pretending going on! After these two very successful outings, I began looking for the ideal place to try and meet men. Yes, I am very bisexual yet until Kay, my current girlfriend, Callie only ever dated men while Cal dates only women. I'm not delusional, I know they are both me. However, in my mind, they are two separate people with very different interests. I've never had any interest in men whatsoever as my male self, but from the first time I ever tried wearing women's clothes, I felt like a girl and was attracted to men. Yes, I know. Most crossdressers are heterosexual. I've known that for years but if I don't mention it, someone will leave a comment 'informing' me on the matter so... Oh, I never write about it in my adventures as Callie, but since I'm coming clean as it were, let me be completely honest and admit this, too. Callie smokes. Cal, on the other hand would never even touch one. Many crossdressers have a smoking fetish for reasons I don't understand, but I am definitely one of them. But because smoking has become so taboo making smokers social pariahs just above child molesters, I omit any reference to it from my CD-ing stories. (Kay hates it, by the way, so that's really cramping my style. Sorry, honey, but you know the deal.) We're both distance runners so she's actually been a very good influence on me. Still... :-) I did a lot of research and found a place in Springfield, Virginia called The Blue Parrot. It's lounge in the Hilton Hotel where local bands play nearly every weekend. The music is loud, but it's more of an oldies vibe with bands playing cover songs. I checked it out as Cal one evening after work then went back to see what kind of clientele showed up for the live performance. As expected, there were a ton of married and dating couples. To my pleasant surprise, there were also a lot of single guys there, many of whom were very good looking. I paid careful attention to what women wore and saw everything from jeans to very expensive dresses and everything in between. I made the decision to go as Callie the following weekend. I was very nervous and very excited all week. I was consumed with thoughts of what I'd wear, whom I might meet, and what we might do. Sure, I was aware things could go south, but I didn't care because this was something I felt compelled to do. Compelled is the perfect word because I had some kind of compulsion driving me to do this. I'd been closeted all my life, then married and not dressing up for several years, and now that I'd had a taste of the crossdressing 'heroin' of passing in public, I wanted more and more...and more. It was already not enough to just drive around or even walk around. It wasn't enough to go to the mall and buy things en femme. I wanted to be with a man. I wanted to feel like a woman in every way and it never crossed my mind that I was doing something wrong. There was a force driving me, and I was happily caught up in letting it do just that. It was very cold that night but fortunately, there was no wind blowing. Wind does a number on real hair, but it wreaks havoc on a wig. As before, I got a full body wax and spent hours on my hair, nails, and makeup. Later I would learn to enjoy going out as Callie and having my nails done by someone else. For now, that was still too daunting to even think about. No surprise, I chose a short skirt and sweater to wear. The sweater was an off-white cashmere blend with a square neck and three-quarter length sleeves. The skirt was black and fell to a little more than four inches above my knees. I wore barely black stockings with a pair of 3" black heels with ankle straps. I chose gold jewelry which entailed a gold-rope necklace and matching earrings. I wore a very petite-looking gold watch on my left wrist and some gold bangles on the other. I owned a beautiful winter-white coat which I wore with a pair of matching cashmere gloves. I drove into the parking lot about ten minutes after 10pm knowing the band had already been playing for a short while. The parking lot was nearly filled to capacity, but I did finally find a parking spot that was about 50 yards from the main entrance. I took a final look in the mirror and got out of the car. The air was very cold, but it was preferable to the Virginia summer heat which induces lots of um...glistening...which melts makeup in seconds. I went inside and immediately heard loud music coming from the lounge. My excitement was building as I went to pay the cover charge and the cute guy at the table said, "Go ahead. No charge for beautiful women." I smiled and thanked him then went and checked my coat and headed inside. As I looked around, I could see that almost every seat was filled and I really didn't want to sit at the bar. I spotted one empty chair and as I took my first step toward it, and older gentleman gently touched my elbow and said, "Hi, there. Care to dance?" I was so caught off guard I nearly panicked. I just shook my head and mouthed the words 'no thank you' and headed toward the empty seat. I sat my purse on the table, smoothed my skirt and sat down. Within seconds, a pretty young girl approached me and asked me what I'd like to drink. "Smile," I reminded myself. "And use your feminine voice." "Vodka and tonic, please," I said with a bright smile. I preferred red wine, but one drop on my pretty new sweater and it was game over. When it arrived she refused my money. She pointed to a very nice-looking guy and said, "That gentleman over there paid for your drink. He asked me to tell you his name is Josh." I thanked her then looked over and him. He was smiling as he raised his glass and nodded at me. I raised mine demurely and took a sip. As I sat it down, sure enough, there came Josh. He looked to be about 30-35 with dark brown hair and a very handsome face with maybe a couple of days worth of stubble on it. He was probably about 6' even because in heels, he was still a bit taller than me and I'm 5'8". "Hi. I'm Josh," he said. "I know," I said with a smile. "Thank you for the drink." "You shouldn't drink alone," he said. My first pick line used by a guy to pick me up! I was absolutely thrilled. "Would you like to dance?" he asked me. "Sure!" I told him. I'd reminded myself many times that women don't leave their purses unguarded at a table but sure as $#%^, I left mine just sitting there because I was so caught up in being asked to dance by this very handsome guy that it slipped my mind. Another thing I thought of and managed to remember was this. "What if you get asked to dance early on and that guy wants to monopolize your time?" I was determined to give my first blow job that night, but I didn't want to leave this early. I told myself I'd dance a few times with him then look for someone else. The first song was a fast one and fortunately I had practiced dance moves in front of a mirror many times. As the song ended he reached out for my hand and said, "One more?" I knew the song coming up and it was a slow one. My heart was pounding as I smiled and told him, "Okay." I put my right hand in his left as most people do to start a slow song but just seconds later he moved our hands down to his chest. He gently pulled me closer to him and I was thrilled beyond words to have such a cute guy hold me like that. Again, I'm not delusional. I know I'm a guy in women's clothes, but I felt like a pretty girl who was wanted and desired by a handsome boy. I was suddenly in junior high being asked to dance for the first time by the boy I'd had a crush on all year and it absolutely thrilling. Thanks to the padded undergarment and some tucking, there was no chance my growing erection could possibly be felt should we press against each other. But I was dying to know whether or not I might be able to feel his so I moved my hand from his and put it around his neck. As I did, his hands went down my back and settled just above my waist. As I hoped, he pulled me closer and I responded. Once I was as tight as I could get to his hard body, I gently pushed with hips hoping to find what I was looking for. Sure enough, I struck pay dirt! As I gently pushed against him, he pulled back slightly and said quietly (at least as quiet as possible with that much noise), "Sorry." I said in his ear, "Don't be. That felt nice." As soon as I did, he moved his cock back to where I could feel it again. Once I felt it again, I murmured, "Mmmm. I like that." By the end of the song, he was pushing against me pretty hard and I was definitely pushing back. My resolution to wait longer was fading fast. By the Grace of Guile When the song ended, he didn't let go of me but rather waited for me to look into his eyes. When he did, he leaned in to kiss me and I thought I might cum in my panties as I closed my eyes and let him. Oh, my God! That first kiss was amazing! I wanted to let him taste my tongue but managed to restrain myself. Being a girl can be very challenging for a boy in many ways. "Do you mind if I join you again?" he asked pointing to our table after our first kiss. "I'd like that," I told him. He took my hand and led me back to my table. He grabbed a chair no one was using and pulled it up next to mine. That's when I noticed my purse. I almost had a heart attack when I saw it because it had my driver's license with my male picture on it, my real name, and my address. "Holy fuck!" I said to myself. "You need to pay better attention before you do something really stupid." I took a quick look inside and could tell nothing had been touched, but that taught me an important lesson. Josh had brought his drink with him as we passed the table where he'd been sitting. I noticed one of his buddies high five him when we went passed. I smiled at him, too, as we went by and he said, "He's a really great guy!" "I still don't know your name," Josh said once he helped me get seated. "Callie," I told him. "That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl," he said. It was unbelievably fun to be in the other role for the first time. Rather than trying to get her interested in me, I was the one attracting the interest of a cute guy. Even now, just writing this, I can feel those first emotions flooding back over me as I relive the events. This sort of thing is now very tame to me, but at the time it was indescribably exciting. "I'm here a couple times a year. You?" he said. I told him this my first time. Being continuously aware of the role of deception in this...game...I was playing, my mind instantly came up with a way to get what I wanted without having to give in and do more thus exposing my true identity. I looked at him and said, "I suppose I should tell you this now." "I don't see a wedding ring so I know you're not married," he said with a smile. "Tell me what?" I reached into my purse. As I did, the sight of my long red nails gave me another huge rush. I'd put my fake wedding band in a small pocket inside the purse before leaving the house. I'm not sure why but I was glad I had. I pulled it out and without making a big deal of it, showed it to Josh. "Actually, I am," I told him as I slipped it on my finger. "Things haven't been going so well at home and I just really needed a night out. I feel terrible that..." "It's okay," he said. "No need to worry. I wasn't planning on proposing to you tonight anyway." I put my hand with the huge 'diamond' over my mouth as I laughed at his lame joke. "What I mean is that's not a problem for me if it isn't for you," he said. As he told me that, he took my left hand and held it as he looked at the ring. "I really like you and you're very cute," I told him. "I just wanted you to know I have limits on how far this can go." "No problem," he said. "I'm a pretty progressive kind of guy and I think the woman should always be the one to set the limits." I smiled and said, "Thank you, Josh. Now I won't have to worry about leading you on because while I would love to be alone with you, I wouldn't feel comfortable taking off my clothes. Is that too weird for you?" "Not at all, Callie. You look super hot in that outfit so if you want to keep in, that's your call. No complaints here." He leaned over and kissed me again and this time I did let my tongue just barely slip inside his mouth. As soon as mine touched his, he offered me more in return. It was maybe a three-second kiss but it sent shock waves through my entire body. "I'm staying here at the Hilton," he said. "Is it too early to ask you to be alone with me?" "I wouldn't mind dancing a few more slow dances with you," I said sweetly. "That can be arranged," he replied just as the last faster song was ending. As the first notes of Marvin Gaye's Let's Get it On rang out, Josh took my hand and led me back out onto the dance floor. This time, Josh pushed against me as soon as we got close. "That feels soooo nice," I purred. He was running his hand up and down my back. I loved whenever his fingers ran over my bra strap as it made me feel so soft and feminine. I was simultaneously aware of the silky feel of the cashmere as well as the tightness of my bra, and the softness of the expensive silicon breast forms inside it. I could smell my own perfume, as well, and there were a dozen new sensations flooding my senses all at once. I was in a whole new world; a world I'd wanted to be in for a very long time, and I didn't want it to ever end. But there was one more thing I wanted even more, and I didn't think I could wait another minute. I pulled back and let him know I wanted to be kissed and without hesitation, I got what I wanted. I ran my hands through the thick hair at the back of his head and moaned softly. "I want you so bad," I whispered to him. "Come on. Let's go upstairs," he said quietly. I had my purse with me this time so there was no need to go back to my table. Once in the lobby I told Josh, "I need to use the ladies room, okay?" He kissed me and said, "Don't be too long, all right?" Once inside, I went directly into a stall and took a few deep breaths. I decided to pee before going upstairs and managed to get everything pulled down which was no small affair. I sat down and tinkled then had to be very careful not to pop off a nail as I pulled everything back into place. They were glued on but not so hard I couldn't easily lose one if I wasn't careful. Once everything was back in place, I counted to ten to make sure they were all still attached then stepped out. I stood in front of the huge mirror and washed my hands as another woman walked in and sat her purse on the counter. Unlike men, women love to talk in the restroom. "Aren't they great?" she said referring to the band. "They really are!" I said as I dried my hands. I pulled my tube of lipstick out and removed the wand to touch up my makeup when she spoke again. "I love that sweater! Where did you get it?" "At Macy's at Tyson's Mall," I told her as my lips once again took on a bright, glossy sheen. "Tyson's I or Tyson's II?" she asked as she put on some more mascara. "One," I replied. I smacked my lips together quietly one time and satisfied with the look, picked up my purse and said, "Have fun!" "Hardly," she said almost bitterly. "I'm here with my husband." She ended the sentence with a loud, "Ughh!" I smiled, tossed my head back a little, and walked out to find Josh waiting patiently for me. We didn't say anything else until we got into his room and he turned on the lights. "Is this okay, Callie?" he asked me. "It's a little bright but yes, it's very nice." He flipped on the bathroom light then turned off the overhead fluorescent lights and asked me if that was better. "Perfect," I said as he stepped toward me. He put his arms around me and I put mine back around his neck. "So what are you limits, beautiful?" he asked. I smiled and said, "Welll...the most I can offer you is...Clinton sex." Josh immediately laughed and said, "You're real name isn't Monica, is it?" I laughed quietly (laughing like a girl is one of the most challenging things to do and one has to be very careful with it) and said, "No, but I do own a blue dress." Josh smiled and said, "Do you want to join me on the bed?" I kissed and said, "I thought you'd never ask." He led me to the queen-sized bed in the room and sat on the edge. "So what now?" he asked. I sat my purse down and said, "It would be nice if you'd stand back up and take your shirt off while I get to work on these pants." Another smile and he was on his feet unbuttoning his shirt as I worked at his belt buckle, snap, and zipper. My heart was beating out of my chest as I pulled his pants down. I gave him a seductive look as I reached out my hand to feel for his package through his underwear. "Oh, shit," he groaned. I pulled them down over his growing hard on then pushed him onto the bed before pulling off his shoes, pants, and short. "Mmmm," I murmured as I got on my knees in front of him. I couldn't believe I was actually doing this! This guy honestly believed I was a woman—a married woman who was going to give him a blow job. And he was perfectly fine with that and nothing more. Having had hundreds of blow jobs myself, I knew exactly what he wanted. I cupped his balls with one hands and grabbed his very large cock with the other. "It's beautiful," I said quietly. "Mmmm. I love it, Josh." I kept my eyes on his as I took a man's cock into my mouth for the first time in my life. I let my full, red lips linger on the head for a while as I swirled my tongue around the mushroom paying extra attention to the underside. "Fuck..." he groaned. I gently massaged his balls knowing exactly what to touch and where as I began taking his cock deep into my mouth. It felt even better than I'd imagined it as I practiced with various objects. I could feel him flex the head as it expanded slightly around my tongue and the roof of my mouth. I took him as deeply as I could then went back up and flicked my tongue around the tip some more. I couldn't afford to gag and risk coughing like a man so deep throating was out of the question. That's another lesson that must not be learned the hard way, girls. Working in my favor was his intense desire to get what he wanted from a women he found very attractive. Working against me was his desire to grab my hair and pull it and to feel me up while I was sucking his cock. Because I was wearing a wig, I couldn't allow that to happen. I stopped briefly and said, "Sweetheart? My husband likes to pull my hair when I do this to him and I don't want to think about him right now. So...do you mind?" "Oh, sorry. Not at all," he said as he grabbed a couple of pillows to lay on as he lay back. "I'm happy to just watch." As I continued sucking his cock, he moaned every few strokes. "Jesus. That feels amazing, Callie. Fuck!" "I love having you in my mouth," I told him—honestly. I wanted him inside me but, well, that wasn't possible so I settled for doing as much as the game would allow. After another couple of minutes, Josh groaned loudly then lifted his head slightly and said, "Fuck. You are so incredibly beautiful. If your husband isn't treating you right, he should be shot." He lowered his head onto the pillows and said, "Jesus...fuck!" I knew the risks of STDs and especially HIV but I wanted to swallow a guy's cum so badly I was willing to risk it. I made sure not to have flossed my teeth where I might open the skin so it was...well...game on. "You ready to cum, honey?" I said in a sexy voice. "Fuck, yeah," he moaned. "I want you to cum in mouth, okay?" "Seriously?" he moaned. "Oh, God. I think I'm love with you." I sucked hard and squeezed gently with my other hand until I felt his pre-cum. Then I used my hand to stroke his shaft while he shot his load into my mouth. "Fuck...me!" he grunted. "Jesus, that feels so fucking goodII!" Like a good cum slut, I kept his cock inside my mouth and got every drop. I held it there until he was finished then smiled and showed it to him. He laughed loudly and then I ceremoniously swallowed all of it. "Mmmm. It really is good to the last drop!" I said wickedly. I sat next to him on the bed and said, "That was nice. I wish I could offer you more, but well, I just can't." He reached out and took my hand and said, "That was perfect. Say, maybe we could get together again sometime." "I'd like that," I lied. I was actually hoping I could go back to the Blue Parrot and avoid him and find some other cute guy. Next time, if there were a next time, he wouldn't be so willing to settle for just an appetizer. "I really gotta get home, Josh," I told him. He sat up and said, "I'll show you out." "That's okay," I told him. "Go ahead and relax and enjoy the afterglow." He laughed again and said, "You are fucking amazing, Callie. It's none of my business what's going on at home, but I'd eat a lot of shit to get to the end of this rainbow again." I had to suppress a loud laugh as I kissed him goodnight. "Thank you for understanding and respecting my limits," I said as I ran my hand along his cheek. "No, thank you!" he said. "This was freakin' awesome. Can I give you my number?" he asked as I stood up. "Um...I don't think that would be such a good idea." He nodded and said, "Yeah, I understand. This was pretty great, though, I gotta tell ya." "I enjoyed it, too, Josh. You're very cute. Good night." "Good night, Callie. Take care, okay?" I had quite a few more similar escapades at the Blue Parrot before that became too passé for me. It was time to start looking for a boyfriend who wanted a girl like me and it didn't take long to find him.