1 comments/ 28075 views/ 10 favorites Mormon Masturbation By: daves40004 Note: Mormonism is a conservative, orthodox religion with a cultural perspective and doctrine that some members view as sexually repressive. Mormons view masturbation as a sin that should be confessed to a Bishop. Likewise, Mormons view any sexual activity outside of marriage as a serious sin that also must be confessed. Confession involves the "sinner" meeting in private, face to face, in the Bishop's office. The Bishop is always male, typically older than 35. Although Bishops are instructed not to ask detailed sexual questions during interviews, they do ask questions about obedience to the "law of chastity" and many Mormons have reported being asked in-depth, probing details to detect sexual sin with the goal of determining the individual's personal worthiness. These worthiness interviews begin at age 12 for both males and females. Personal worthiness is woven into Mormon culture in many ways including the ability to participate in events and practices that have the highest importance in Mormon life. ***** "What I mean is...have you touched yourself between your legs, on your genitals, to feel good? To feel good sexually?" Bishop Wharton asked, leaning forward on his desk that divided the space between them. Megan felt as if her face were flaming hot and she shifted uncomfortably on the blue padded folding chair in front of Bishop Wharton's desk. She'd just turned eighteen years old and this was her last worthiness interview before leaving her home town to go to her freshman year of college. The best reply she could summon was, "Ummm, I...well..." She felt embarrassed and stupid. "Megan, I'm sure this is hard. Let me assure you, I don't enjoy this either. But I want you to know, up front, that the Lord loves you dearly. Beyond that, I've known you many years and I respect you deeply." Bishop Wharton paused. He was a big man with a rounded chest and belly. His breathing always seemed labored and his face seemed to have a ruddy shine as though he'd just finished jogging. "This question, whether you are abiding by the law of chastity, is an important one, but I also want to let you know that many of the youth struggle with masturbation. It's completely understandable." "Masturbation?" Megan asked, still feeling stupid. "You're not familiar with the word?" Bishop Wharton asked. "I, well, maybe..." Bishop Wharton cut in, speaking quietly, "For boys, it involves stroking their penis until it gets hard and they ejaculate. For girls, it involves rubbing your genitals, either with your hands or rubbing them on something like a pillow, and sometimes inserting a finger into your vagina with the purpose of having an orgasm." Megan sat back quickly, "I definitely haven't, um, inserted a finger." "Have you touched your genitals...to feel good?" Megan sighed, she glanced at her feet encased in her best Sunday shoes and her legs where they emerged beneath her Sunday dress. "I have touched myself...down there." "I'm not talking about just after going to the bathroom or washing yourself in the shower, incidental things like that. I'm talking about intentionally touching yourself to make yourself feel good." Megan was feeling a little frustrated now and she spoke up, "But when I'm taking a bath, I need to wash my whole body. I want to feel clean. What's wrong with it feeling good to wash down there? It feels good to wash my shoulders and neck too." Bishop Wharton's face grew a little more red, "There's a difference between cleaning yourself and incidental feelings of pleasure, on one hand, and intentionally focusing on touching yourself to feel good. Have you ever had an orgasm? Do you know what that is?" "Yes, I do know what it is and I've had them." Megan sighed again. Bishop Wharton leaned slowly back in his chair and it squeaked as his weight shifted. There was a long, awkward silence as Megan waited, feeling more and more frustrated. She could hear the clock ticking on the wall. Finally, Bishop Wharton spoke again, "Have you had any issues with pornography?" His bushy eyebrows went up, and then, as if she was a child who needed further explanation, he tacked on, "Have you seen naked men?" Megan felt her face cooling slightly and she tried to regulate her breathing, she hadn't done anything wrong and she felt uncomfortable with this interview, but she also wanted to be honest. "No and yes." Bishop Wharton's eyes narrowed slightly and he leaned forward, "No and yes?" "I haven't had any issues with pornography but I have seen naked men, or rather, one man naked." Megan tried to stay calm. She'd done nothing wrong. "Goodness, Megan, can you explain a little? I assure you this is completely confidential." "I could...explain further, but I don't see the point. I haven't done anything wrong. I obey the law of chastity." "This man you saw, was it a picture online? Was he completely naked? Did you see his penis?" Megan paused, then replied, "No. No. And yes." Megan suppressed a smirk as the Bishop worked out the order of her answers in his mind. His eyebrows went up again. Megan was having a hard time not focusing on how bushy they were. "You mean you saw his penis in person? Do you know him?" Before Megan thought it through, she burst out with, "Of course I do, he's in this ward." The moment those words crossed her hips she regretted them. Bishop Wharton eased back in his chair again with a slow, loud squeak. He put his hands together, fingers spread and touching. He let out a low, "Hmmmm..." Megan felt her face flushing again. She started to speak, "I, uh, it isn't what you're thinking. I..." Bishop Wharton spoke, "Megan, I want to let you know that the Lord loves you. I love you. I'm terribly sorry but I have a meeting that I must attend. Will you please schedule a follow-up with Brother Jones, my executive secretary. I think we need to talk more. Masturbation violates the law of chastity but is something you can repent of. Sexual relations with a young man from this ward is a more serious matter, even if it's just so-called 'fooling around.' I think this is something we need to work through, together, and then you'll be able to feel at ease again. I can promise you that it won't be easy but it will be worth it." He opened one of his desk drawers and took out a pamphlet. "I'd like you to read this before our next appointment. Will you promise to come back and see me? I assure you we can get through this and you will feel much better." Megan took the pamphlet but didn't even really focus on it enough to read the title on the cover. She felt awful inside. Part of the feeling was embarrassment, but part of it was also a tinge of anger. Why did this older man ask her these questions? What business was it of his? She stood up quickly and murmured, "Thank you, Bishop." His chair creaked again as he hoisted himself up and walked around the desk. He held out his hand and firmly shook hers. He patted her on the shoulder in a friendly way and opened the door of his office. "See you soon." He said. Without waiting for a response, he ushered her into the hallway and she walked briskly away, not wanting to look back. She drove home feeling more and more angry every moment. Why would God give her a body that felt good and produced such amazing sensations if it was wrong to use that gift? Everything she read and learned in school said masturbation was normal. Even more, she'd read that repressing those feelings could lead to sexual problems later in life. Further more, why would God give Dan a body that looked so interesting and made her experience such feelings? It wasn't her fault that she saw his penis. In fact, it wasn't his fault either. It just happened... innocent, almost funny. As she drove, her mind went back to just after she graduated, late in May. - Dan's family lived across the street. Megan had known him as long as she could remember. He was a year older than she was. They'd always been good friends but there had never been any romantic spark between them, partly because of how different their personalities were. She was outgoing. He was introverted and shy. She was in lots of activities, he wasn't so much. Dan graduated from high school the year before and had been away to college for his freshman year. He came back home in May. She remembered seeing him for the first time after those several months when he was gone. She was standing at the mail box looking through the letters hoping for more information from the school she was planning to attend when she heard his door swing open from across the street. He pounded down their front steps and looked up, noticing her. Time slowed down. He looked different, somehow. He seemed taller, more masculine, far more attractive than she'd remembered. Megan couldn't quite figure out what had changed. Then he smiled and waved to her. She felt her knees go slightly weak and felt embarrassed at her response. In all those years of knowing Dan, he rarely smiled, and now his quick, friendly smile made him look almost like a different person. He walked down their front walk and across the street toward her. He was wearing loose athletic shorts and a T-shirt that seemed a little tight. Megan noticed his strong looking arms. The hair on his lower legs looked manly. She could see the bulge of his chest muscles as he moved. His chin was strong and his eyes were striking. "Hey, Megan, long time since I've seen you. What's up?" "Oh..." Megan tried to stop herself from staring at him, "Nothing, just getting the mail." "Me too." Dan walked up to her and stopped a few feet away. "So, you're a high school graduate! Congratulations!" "Yes." Megan smiled self-consciously, "Finally..." She paused, then spoke again quickly, "How was college?" "Both great and horrible at the same time. It was a lot harder than I expected but it felt great getting out on my own a little and I made some good friends." "That's cool." Megan said. His hair looked different too. She liked how it looked. "Where are you going to school?" "Up to state, that's all." Dan replied, "State? That's awesome. I hear good things about it. Good job!" Dan stepped closer and gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder. His touch felt like an electric shock and Megan stood still, looking up into his dark eyes, feeling a little dazzled by his broad, strange smile. She realized she hadn't said anything and shook her head, "Yeah, thanks! So, how was college?" She cringed inside realizing that she'd already asked that. She felt her face warming up. He didn't even blink, "Great. Really. I think you're going to love getting away. You'll do awesome, you always were good at everything you did." "Gee, thanks." Megan smiled back. Dan stared down at her for a moment and then smiled broadly again, "Well, hey, I gotta get going. We should catch up some time this summer, you know, maybe just go for a walk around the old neighborhood or something." "Yeah, that'd be fun!" Megan replied, surprised at how interesting that sounded. "Talk to you later then." Dan said. He turned and walked across the street towards their mail box. Megan watched him move. Her eyes were drawn to his broad shoulders, down over his rounded bum to his muscular legs. "Wow!" She thought to herself, amazed at how different he seemed. He pulled the mail out of their mail box and Megan forced herself to turn and walk back toward their front door. She glanced back and glowed inwardly to see him looking at her. She waved. He waved back. She stepped through her front door and let it shut, leaning against the wall. She fanned her face and giggled at her response. About a week later the doorbell rang one pleasant evening. Megan opened the door to find Dan standing there, smiling, disarming her with his beautiful face. She managed to say, "Hi." "Sorry to just drop in unannounced, but I saw your car was out front and wondered if you'd like to go for a walk?" Megan glanced back over her shoulder. She'd been helping her mom get dinner ready. "I, uh...can you hold on for a moment?" "Sure. Hey, if this doesn't work, that's fine." "No! No, I mean, I think it does. Just a sec." She turned away letting the screen door shut, then she turned back, realizing she should have invited him in. She pushed the door open, "Come in." "Cool. Thanks." He said, stepping into the entry way. She walked through the living room into the kitchen. "Who was at the door?" Her mom asked. "Dan." She replied. "From across the street, oh that's nice. How is he? I haven't seen him since he left for college." "He wanted to know if I could go for a walk with him. Can you finish dinner?" Megan's mom looked at her in surprise, "A walk?" "You know, just to catch up..." "I didn't know you two ever 'caught up' on anything." Megan paused, "Well, he seems different...interesting..." "Interesting?" Megan's mom smiled. "Mom!" Megan's mom laughed, "Oh, of course its fine. Say 'hi' to him for me." "I will. Thanks!" Megan and Dan walked for nearly two hours...way longer than she would have expected. Dan seemed so different, and yet, in a way, he was still the same. Somehow being away at college had given him enough confidence or experience to express himself and she found everything he said incredibly interesting. He listened to her feelings and commented. He asked her what she wanted to do, where she envisioned herself in a year, five years, ten years. The walk and talk was incredibly exciting and she knew she was feeling attracted to him beyond just the physical realm. A couple of weeks later was when the real incident happened. It was a Saturday afternoon and Megan's family was going up to the hot springs. Megan's mom knew of her daughter's interest in Dan and asked Dan's family if they would like to come on the outing with them. Both families gathered together all the children, piled into the cars and headed up to the hot springs. The area was large and well-developed with three different water slides and half a dozen pools of varying sizes and purposes. Before long, Megan and Dan had separated from their younger siblings and were spending the afternoon together. Dan looked amazing in his swim trunks. They seemed to ride low on his hips. His abdomen was smooth and curved inward making her wonder what was at the base of those interesting muscles. His chest bulged as he moved his arms. His shoulders were broad and the contours of his back muscles rippled delightfully as he moved. He was tall and lanky. His hair, wet and messed up, looked cute. Megan noticed that Dan surreptitiously took glances at her body too. She was glad she'd worn her new swim suit. Instead of her usual one piece suit it was a cute pair of boy short bottoms and a tank top that covered her tummy. Over the years as she grew and developed she'd been aware of her curves and their effect on the boys. Her breasts were large and full and she had thick, feminine thighs and a wide, rounded bottom. The wet swim suit clung tightly to her body and sometimes, she noticed the shape of her aroused nipples through the material. Dan seemed to notice too. He kept adjusting the front of his trunks and it looked like the size and bulge of whatever was behind those trunks kept changing throughout the afternoon. She wondered if he was getting erections while looking at her. Her question was answered as they came barreling down the water slide. He was ahead of her and seemed to be going very fast. She tried to keep up and as she shot out of the tube into the pool at the base of the slide, her legs flipped up and she went in at a different angle than usual. Water surged over her body and face, getting into her nose and eyes. She managed to gain her footing and stood up coughing, rubbing the water out of her eyes. Then she felt that her top fit different than normal. She rubbed her eyes again and looked down. Her top was twisted and the force of the water rushing over her body as she shot out of the tube had pushed it up. One of her breasts was completely exposed and the other was only partly covered. Her bare breast jiggled as she gasped and struggled to straighten the clingy, wet top. She got the top pulled down, covering her breasts and felt her face blushing as she looked around. Dan was the only one there, he was on the stairs, frozen, staring at her with his mouth open. He quickly looked away. She felt her face going hot and kept trying to get her top adjusted right. She wading slowly through the pool toward the exit stairs. She had to say something, "Uh, sorry about that." Dan shook his head, "No, I'm sorry...for, you know, staring..." "It's so embarrassing." "Don't be embarrassed. You couldn't help it. At least nobody else saw." He said. "But you saw." She sighed. "Well, better me than fifty random strangers, right?" She laughed, "Yeah, better than fifty random strangers." For the next several minutes Dan's big erection was quite obvious. He tried to keep his back to her but he clearly had a tent-like protrusion from the front of his shorts. It bobbed and swayed with his movement and his wet trunks clung to the shape of his penis in a most enticing manner. - Later that evening when the two families had arrived home Megan was transporting stuff from the car into the house. The front door to Dan's home opened and Dan walked out carrying a large box in his arms. He was still wearing his swim trunks and no shirt. She wondered if he knew how good he looked to her that way and if he was staying that way on purpose. The box was obviously heavy as he moved deliberately down the front walk and across the street. When he got close enough she asked, "What's in the box?" "My mom had these canning jars that she said your mom was going to borrow. I'm supposed to bring them over." "Heavy?" She asked. "Very." Megan hurried toward the front door. "Follow me." She held the door open. He struggled into the living room and she followed him in. "Where should I put them?" He asked. Then a series of events happened that still seem a blur to Megan. Michael, Megan's little brother, was currently the only one in the living room besides Megan and Dan. Megan heard her parents upstairs, talking. The other children were playing in the back yard. Little Michael was just over a year old and was learning to walk. Michael liked Dan and smiled his cute little baby smile when he saw his big friend. Megan was trying to think of where the box should go when Michael toddled over to Dan. He reached up with his little hands. Dan looked over the box at Michael and smiled back, "Hi little guy!" Then it happened. Michael fell, as he often did, and as he went down, reached out and grabbed the bottom of Dan's trunks, stopping the fall. Hanging there he pulled, trying to get himself back upright and to Megan's shock, Dan's trunks came right down. Michael was giggling in his little toddler voice. Megan's mouth dropped open as she stared at Dan's genitals dangling in the open. "Oh, gosh!" Dan cried out. He moved to one side but Michael was hanging onto his legs and his trunks. The glass jars in the heavy box rattled. Dan couldn't move without dragging Michael with him and he couldn't set the box down. It seemed to Megan like an eternity but was probably only a second or two while she stood frozen, staring at Dan's penis and balls. Megan had seen male genitalia in science class but she'd never seen them in person and definitely not on a man she was attracted to. She was amazed. Dan's penis was long and heavy looking, dangling straight down and swinging back and forth as he tried to decide what to do. The tip of his penis was blunt and rounted with a soft looking ridge and a tiny slit. His balls were large and soft looking, colored slightly darker than the rest of his skin, and strangely pendulous. He had curly brown pubic hair. The muscles of his legs and abdomen were amazing. Megan had thought about Dan a lot since she first saw him after college. She thought about his face, his smile, his eyes, his arms, hands, muscles, but she hadn't thought about his penis. It just didn't occur in her normal thought process to think about that sexual appendage, what it might look like, how it would move. It seemed alien on him and yet she was attracted to it. Immediately she wondered what it would feel like in her hand. All of these thoughts raced through Megan's mind as she stared. Mormon Masturbation Finally, Dan said, "What should I do? I'm sorry, Megan!" Megan broke out of her stunned immobility and jumped forward, "I'm sorry, Dan. Michael!" Dan replied, "He didn't mean to. Can you take the box?" Megan put her hands under the box, aware of the proximity of Dan's exposed penis, bouncing and swinging. "Wait," Dan said, "It's probably too heavy. Can you..." Megan wasn't thinking clearly, "Here, let me help you." She bent, reached down and grabbed the waist band of Dan's trunks. "Michael, let go." She said. She pulled the trunks up, realizing how close her face was to Dan's most private parts. She breathed in and was amazed at the scent coming from his genitals. "What is that?" She thought, breathing in again, "Oh gosh..." She felt her pussy start to tingle. She jerked Dan's trunks up but the band went under his balls and as she tugged up, his whole genital mound lifted outward enticingly. She thought if she pulled harder his genitals would slip down into his trunks. "Ow! Ow!" Dan said. Megan cried, "Oh, I'm sorry. I...uh..." She pulled the trunks down and Dan's genitals swung down between his legs. "Maybe if you moved Michael, I could set this down." "Yes, of course," Megan said. She picked Michael up and turned her back. She heard the jars rattle as Dan bent to set the box down. She waited, saying, "I won't turn around until you're, you know, until you get your trunks back up." Dan said, "I'm sorry, Megan. They're up." Megan turned around and glanced down at Dan's now covered crotch, "Sorry about that." Megan said. "No, I...uh..." Megan laughed. "What?" Dan asked, looking confused and slightly offended. "I guess that's cosmic karma, pay back for what you saw at the water slide today." Dan paused, "I guess...but you saw a lot more than I saw." "I'll say." Megan laughed again. - So, now as Megan drove home from her meeting with the Bishop and she went over that experience in her mind she was amazed, again, at how sexually attractive Dan had been. She hadn't done anything wrong. But she couldn't deny being aroused by the situation. In two weeks she was leaving to college. It felt like a new start, an escape, and everything about it was exciting. She had no intention whatsoever of making another appointment to see Bishop Wharton. As far as she was concerned, she didn't even want to see him again. She climbed out of the car and went up the walk to her home. Closing the door behind her, she heard her Mom call from the kitchen, "Hello, Megan, we'll be having dinner in about an hour." "Ok, thanks, Mom!" Megan called back. "How did your appointment go?" Her Mom asked. "It was fine." Megan replied in as flat a voice as possible, not wanting to talk about it. Megan hurried down the stairs. She didn't hear anything else from her mom. She wanted to get out of her Sunday dress and into comfortable clothing. Sunday was supposed to be a day of rest, not a day of discomfort. She grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and headed for the bathroom. She locked the bathroom door and stood in front of the mirror. She was 18 years old...young, but still, technically, an adult. She knew she had a lot to learn and experience, but to talk down to her, as if she were a child, felt frustrating. She couldn't believe Bishop Wharton felt the need to explain how boys masturbate. As if she didn't know that. But besides, what point was there to it? She pushed her hair back behind her shoulders and lifted her chin. Her skin was smooth and clear. As she looked at herself, she knew she wasn't perfectly beautiful, not like some other girls she knew, but she felt that she was quite attractive and she focused on that. Her mom had always encouraged her to have good self-esteem, a lesson that sunk in, and she knew she was pretty and that other people thought her pretty too. Most important, Dan had confessed how attracted to her he was. Without further thought she undid her Sunday dress and stepped out of it, hanging it on a hook on the door. She moved back in front of the mirror to look at her body. A full white bra supported her breasts which were larger than average in size. Her belly was a little soft and she put her hands on her stomach, wondering what it would feel like to have a tight, sleek belly. Her panties were also white, a high waisted cut and somewhat frumpy looking. She felt a little sheepish. She'd just been thinking about how she was an adult and yet, still, she did most of her clothing shopping with her Mom. She loved her mom and shopping was an enjoyable activity they shared, but she wondered what it would be like to have more...contemporary... underwear. Maybe even a thong. She turned around and looked at the roundness of her bottom wondering what it would feel like to wear a thong. She knew she couldn't buy sexy underwear with her mom. One of the first things she'd do when she got to college was buy new underwear. She reached around her back and undid her bra. She slumped her shoulders, let the straps slide down her arms and then let the bra drop to the floor. She admired her breasts and fantasized about Dan looking at them. He'd seen them, for a split second. It was an exciting memory. She lifted them in her hands. They were full and soft with large, light brown aureola. She hooked her thumbs under the waist band of her panties and pushed them down, stepping out of them. She stood straight before the mirror, completely naked, and took in the sight of her fully grown body. She remembered when she was younger and when her body started to change. It felt and looked awkward. Now she was grown and her body felt just right. Her breasts were shaped nicely: firm and round. She had wide hips and thighs that she felt were very feminine. The triangle of hair between her legs was dark and luxurious looking. She slid a hand down through her pubic hair until two fingers rested on her outer labia. Tingling sensations of pleasure ran through her body. Suddenly she pictured Bishop Wharton's round, red face, looking at her with disapproval. She felt a shock of guilt and pulled her hand away from her pussy. Then she frowned and shook her head and thought, "This is my body." A thought went through her mind of showing her body, like this, to Dan, and what that would feel like. She shook her head. She turned, leaned over the bathtub and started the water waiting for it to warm up. She looked back, over her shoulder, at her naked bottom. She ran her hand gently over the curve of her bottom and felt the tingling, sensual feeling again. She spread her legs and leaned forward more, looking back at her reflection. She imagined how Dan would love looking at her rear, especially in this pose. Her round bottom was spread and she could see her pubic hair and her pussy under her cheeks. She reached back between her bottom and slid her finger gently across her little puckered anus. She wondered if Dan would like that part of her. She put her hand under the water and scrubbed it and then carefully reached between her legs again, this time feeling her puffy outer labia. She slid a finger between the lips and felt the dampness forming at the opening of her vagina. She'd been honest when she told Bishop Wharton that she'd never put a finger inside her vagina but defiantly, now she was going to try it. Yes, she'd masturbated but always just by rubbing her genitals on the outside. She knew how intercourse worked, that Dan would put his penis in her vagina, and of course she wondered what it would feel like. Now she was going to find out. She stepped into the tub and sat down in the warm comforting water. Slowly she slid back until her breasts floated atop the water like two smooth, rounded islands. She turned the water flow down to a trickle and slid her hand through the water, over her belly and down into her pubic hair. She loved how her pubic hair felt and caressed it, playing with it. Then she slid her fingers lower, between her lips and started running them up and down over her clitoris and the opening of her vagina. Pleasure sensations started tingling through her body and she closed her eyes and felt her mouth open and her breathing deepen. She stroked her pussy for a long while before tentatively pushing a finger toward her vagina. She could easily feel the smooth, soft opening between her inner labia. Carefully she pushed her finger in. She was surprised at how easy it was. She expected more resistance. The further she pushed her finger into her vagina, the more amazed she felt. The walls of her vagina were incredibly smooth and soft and the opening felt tight. Strangest of all, it almost felt as if her finger was being pulled in. A small gasp escaped her lips as her finger went all the way in and she felt her knuckles against her pussy. She felt the beginning sensations of an orgasm as she gently pulled her finger out. Almost involuntarily she used her other hand to start manipulating her clitoris as she slowly slid her finger in and out of her vagina. Her legs spread as far as they could in the bathtub. Her breathing quickened even more and she felt amazing. A quivering sigh came from her lips and then she squealed softly as the orgasm came on. She felt her vagina clinch around her finger and her eyes snapped open, amazed at the feelings of pleasure coursing through her body. She sighed again as the orgasm subsided and then pulled her finger out of her vagina and idly ran it through her pubic hair. Her thoughts went back to Bishop Wharton. Well, now she'd done it: masturbated with a finger in her vagina and another rubbing her clitoris. It was amazing, the best she'd ever felt. Was she going to stop masturbating? Not a chance. She smiled as she looked at and felt her pussy under the water. She started fantasizing about Dan looking at her pussy and realized that she wanted to do it again. She'd insert a finger again into her vagina and this time, fantasize about it being Dan's penis.