0 comments/ 7422 views/ 0 favorites The Goodbye By: sweetpea78 Somewhere in Jen’s foggy mind as she slept, she could hear the sound of her alarm going off. She groaned as she stretched in her queen size four poster bed. She reached over to turn the volume down on the radio, the familiar DJ’s voice droning over the radio waves telling her it was going to be a beautiful day. Jen cringed at that statement wishing she could be able to enjoy it. She snuggled down more under the covers wanting the day to be done with already. She felt so exhausted she could have turned over and went back to sleep for the next four hours. Jen had not slept well the night before, she woke up feeling like she just fell asleep five minutes ago. She felt a knot form deep in the pit of her stomach. She did not want to get up and face this day. This dreaded day. Jen knew it would come once a year on the same date and if this one was painful she couldn’t imagine what the rest of her life would feel like. Why couldn’t it have been cold, gray and rainy, she thought? It would have fit how she was feeling perfectly. She turned her head facing the other half of the bed and stared at it for a moment feeling even more forlorn and lonely. She sighed a sad sigh and slid her hand across to the other side and caressed her hand across the untouched blanket and pillow. She wanted to scream out loud to the world and to God about how unfair it was that she had to live while her husband of four years had to die. Reminiscing about the horrific day brought tears to her eyes and her whole body turned cold. Today would have been their 5th anniversary. Sometimes Jen could not accept the fact that Alex was not there anymore, she would come home from work some nights expecting him to be there greeting her, she would go to bed at night expecting to feel his strong arms come around her as she slipped into peaceful sleep. She expected to wake up in the middle of the night and find him looking at her with love in his eyes watching her sleep. God, how she missed him. The way he made her feel every time she looked at him. After the accident, Jen had been so traumatized at the events that took place she had been in shock for months afterward. She didn’t know if she could ever recover or let go of him. She had spent a month in the hospital healing from her injuries with countless weeks of rehab. She had lived. It happened a month and a half after they celebrated their 4th anniversary. They had been driving home from a party at their friend’s house, it was around midnight. The rain pounding on the car was unrelenting and you couldn’t see any more than 5 feet in front of you. Jen remembered that she had held his hand on the way home, she had always had to touch him in some way. Jen had looked over at him admiring him in the darkened car, in disbelief that she had gotten so lucky and that Alex was the greatest thing that would ever happen to her. She had leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek telling him that she loved him so much. He turned his head for a second to gaze into her eyes but that’s all it took. A blinding light took over the car, the headlights of the other car were right in front of us heading straight for them. He had swerved to avoid hitting head on into the other vehicle and lost control on the slick road and they swerved off the road and slammed into a tree. Everything had been so quiet after that. So quiet and still. Jen couldn’t get the awful sound of smashing metal out of her head. She had lost consciousness for several minutes before she came to. She was in so much pain she couldn’t move, some of her ribs were broken along with her leg that had been trapped. She had not dared to move anything else but she had to see Alex so she turned her head. Alex looked so peaceful with his eyes closed. He had died instantly. The drunk driver in the other car had swerved as well and rolled over into the embankment on the other side of the road and had died as well, later at the hospital. Jen had never experienced such anguish as she had at that moment. It was as if everything happened in slow motion. She knew Alex was gone and she couldn’t do anything about it, she had been trapped, unable to move. A feeling of coldness had started to travel through her body and the intense pain she felt was starting to ease. This is what dying feels like, she thought. I’m going to be with my husband soon and everything will be fine. Her world went black after that and the next time she woke up she had been in a hospital bed in a coma for a week. When she remembered what had happened and that she was still alive, the sorrow for everything that had happened overcame her and she cried for her husband, for her, for the unfairness of it all and the fact that she would never see Alex again. As Jen went back to that fateful night like she has done so many times, tears streamed down her face. “Alex, I miss you so much and I love you. I need you.” She had always prayed to God wanting to know why this happened and always asked for a sign from Alex to let her know that he was ok. She didn’t feel like she could ever let go and move on, her days ever since the accident were a big haze. She felt like her body was keeping her alive, her heart and soul had died with Alex. Jen buried her head into her pillow and sobbed. They were supposed to go to the Bahamas for their 5th, planning it way before everything happened. They were going to go for two weeks and it was to be the most important time of their life. They were going to start trying to get pregnant. This trip would have changed their lives for the better. Instead she was here in bed alone, saddened by what could have been. She pulled back the covers and got up slowly, going to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror and she saw a pale face with dark circles under her eyes staring back. She had not been taking care of herself she knew that. It didn’t matter now, she thought. She stared at herself for a few minutes until the image in the mirror started to become distorted and she didn’t recognize who that person was. She bent down and washed her face with cold water trying to rub the exhaustion out of her puffy eyes. Jen disrobed and stepped into the shower. She let the hot stream of water relax her a little bit, it flooded over her body running down until it ended up in the drain. She leaned against the wall of the shower letting it run over her head and down her back. She knew it would darken her world even more but she closed her eyes imaging Alex there with her. He was pressed up against the back of her body, his hands running with the water down her body touching her breasts, her tummy and then reaching down to her triangle opening her lips and teasing what was inside. She let her hand slide down her body, imaging it was him touching and loving her. Her hand touched herself and she found her clit. She slowly circled her way around it keeping her eyes closed. The sound of the water rushing out overhead muffled her soft moan as her fingers continued to send pins and prickles of pleasure through her. She could feel Alex pressing into her touching her where she was touching herself now. She imagined their fingers intertwined, his lips on the back of her neck, his tongue hot against her wet skin. Her body started to move as she imagined their hands moving over her vaginal lips and rubbing across her clit. The tension built up inside her and she came, her face up against the wall of the shower with her eyes closed, breathing hard. She stood like that for a minute before she realized where she was and she opened her eyes. Jen looked around her and grim reality closed in and she turned the shower off. She dried herself off and walked back into her bedroom, deciding that she didn’t want to go out and face the world today. She crawled back into bed without anything on her body and covered herself up. She laid on her stomach and put her face in the pillow and closed her eyes. Jen didn’t know how long she had been sleeping but something was happening she just wasn’t sure what. She opened her eyes and saw that she was still in her room but it looked different. There was a glow about it making everything look softer. She was alarmed and sat up in bed forgetting she was naked. The blanket fell to her waste and she sat there with her breasts in plain view but she didn’t notice. There standing at the edge of the bed was Alex looking handsome as ever. “Jen”, was all he said. His voice was the same but it seemed more angelic, there was something to it that warmed her inside. Jen thought she was dreaming. She probably was but she didn’t want this dream to end. He seemed so real standing there so tall and lean with the glow of the room as his background. Her breath was taken away by the sight of him. “Alex, Alex, Alex”, she whispered over and over not believing that he was standing there. She got up from the bed and walked to where he was. Her eyes started to well up with tears as she came to stand before him. She was afraid to touch him, she would be devastated if she reached out and felt nothing. “Alex, I can’t believe this, why have you come to me?” By this time tears were running down her face, she had missed him so much and now he was standing here gazing at me with such love in his eyes. She had to see if he was real, she had to take that chance. Her arm slowly reached toward him bringing her hand up to his face. She hesitated before bringing all the way to his cheek. Her hand met flesh. “Oh, my God”, she whispered. “Jen, I am here to say goodbye to you. You have so much more to live for, I want you to move on and live your life. You are still alive because you were not meant to be taken, you still have much to accomplish in your life, so much love to give.” Alex brought his hand up and gently wiped away the tears from her eyes caught the ones that fell on her cheeks. “Alex, I can’t live without you, my life is nothing without you, I need you so much. It felt like my heart just stopped the moment you were taken away from me, I feel like my soul is gone. You were both of those, Alex, please don’t leave me.” Jen cried as she looked through her teared eyes at him. She had kept her hand on his cheek and now moved closer until her whole body was up against his. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him against her as tight as she could. His arms came up and wrapped around her waist so that they were so close she felt like they were one person. “Jen, my beautiful Jen. Just because I am not here it does not mean that you aren’t in my heart. Do not feel guilty for letting me go, I know that you will always love me and will keep a part of me with you but if you keep this pent up inside you for the rest of your life, you will have learned nothing. It was an unfortunate accident but it was my time to go. You have to let me go Jen, please let me go and go on with your life. You have many wonderful things planned for you and you cannot enjoy them if you are stuck feeling like you can’t go on. I love you so much and we will be together again one day but this is your time, Jen, please do this for me.” She sobbed against his neck, she felt the warmth radiate off of his skin and she held him as she cried and cried, the tears streaming down her cheeks. “My sweet Jen, let me go, let me go”, he said softly against her hair. His hand came up and he ran his fingers through her soft brown hair, bringing back the hair from her face and then coming to rest on her face. He wiped her tears away with his thumb, she felt the warmth go through her every time he touched her. “Alex, please make love to me. Please, please, please…”, she said urgently. He brought his head down and planted soft kisses on her wet face as he gloved her face with his hands. His lips came to rest on hers and stayed there for a moment. He tasted the salt of her tears on her lips as he continued to softly kiss her mouth. He brought his head up and looked deeply into her eyes. Jen was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even when he wasn’t alive. He knew this would be the last time they would be together and he wanted to give her what she asked for. He brought his face down again and this time when he met her lips, he pressed hard enough and her lips opened to him welcoming his tongue that passed through into her mouth, searching and meeting with her own. She moaned into his mouth as their tongues swirled and played with each other. “Oh God, Alex, I need you so much please make love to me”, she moaned out once their kiss broke. She took his hand and walked toward the bed. She never lost eye contact with him as he went with her. She leaned up and kissed him again. She knew she would not have long with him and wanted to make every moment last. She raised her hands to his shirt and unbuttoned it showing a little bit more of his chest with each button that came undone. She brought her eyes down to his chest as she slid his shirt off of him. Her hands came up and rested on his heart. She knew this was a dream and that he wasn’t alive but his heart was beating in his chest; it was a dream but somehow she knew this moment was real and he had come to her so she could say goodbye. She pressed her lips to his chest and she darted her tongue out to taste him. He tasted like she remembered, oh how she missed him. She brought her mouth to rest on one of his nipples and closed over it sucking on it and rolling her tongue over it. He let out a small groan and brought his hands up into her hair and held her there. Her hands went down to the waist of his pants and she undid the button and the zipper. His hands came to her face and he brought it up so that she was looking at him. “Jen, do you realize this is our last time together?” “Yes”, she said in a small voice. “Alex, I want this so much I hurt. When I realized that I could touch you I knew that I had to do this with you. After the accident, I was devastated over losing you and I felt like nothing could make me live again. I want nothing more right now but you inside me. Please, I have to feel you inside me one last time.” Alex brought his arms around her naked body and brought her up against him. She could feel the bulge down below pressing against her abdomen. Jen felt nothing but desire for Alex as her body tingled everywhere he touched her. Their mouths met once again and the kiss was more hot as their tongues made love to one another. Her hands pushed his pants down and he threw them aside with his foot. They stood there in one another’s arms, both unclothed looking at each other. He pushed her back onto the bed and she laid there on her back as his eyes moved down her body. She didn’t know how but she felt like his hands were on her body wherever he was looking. She squirmed on the bed needing to feel him on top of her. He knew what she was thinking and kneeled on the bed above her, his knee falling between her legs. He brought his lips to her neck and made circles with his tongue along her racing pulse. He moved down to her chest and took both of her breasts in his hands as he stared at the beauty of them. He was in awe of her and ran his hands over them, rubbing her nipples with his fingers, pinching them every so often. Jen wiggled under him moaning as he assaulted her breasts. She had to have his mouth on them and so she held his head and brung it down. He covered her breast with his hot mouth and gently started to suck on it. She cried out his name as his mouth devoured her. She didn’t know if she could take more of this, she was already in so much ecstasy. She felt his tongue swirl around her nipple and she felt it harden even more. She started to rub her clit against his knee, the sensation of it caused lights to flash before her eyes. Alex could feel the wetness of her against his knee and he started to grind it against her and she moaned louder as she tried to thrust more against it. He let go of her nipple and went lower, grazing his lips along her stomach. He parted her legs more and he gazed lovingly at her patch of dark hair. “Jen, you are so beautiful”, he whispered before lowering his head and flicking his tongue across her wet lips. Jen raised her hips off of the bed at the touch of his mouth on her. Through her half closed eyes she saw him move his mouth over her, move his tongue inside, and start to caress it over her clit. He brought his hand to rest at her vaginal hole, feeling how wet she was. “Alex, please..I need to feel you inside me…mmmm..please!”, she cried out to the room. The way he was making her feel brought her heart close to bursting as well as her body. Alex continued to move his mouth and hand over her, working together as Jen moved her hips in small circles moan after moan escaping from her. “Alex..please..I’m begging!” Alex finally moved his mouth away from her to kiss her skin as he came up her body. Without a word, he moved between her legs and entered her, sliding himself slowly inside her. She threw her head back as he filled her, feeling like she was in heaven with him. This is what it was, it was heaven. He was letting me experience a little bit of what heaven feels like, she thought. Tears came to her eyes and she looked at him as he came all the way into her. She wrapped her legs and arms around him. They stayed in that position for a few minutes, doing nothing but relish in the moment and appreciate the time they had together. Alex started to move in small thrusts and soon she moved with him, in one motion, in one rhythm. “Jen, I love you so much”, he said against her ear. “I want you to feel me as much as I feel you.” He groaned into her neck as desire went through him. He continued to move in and out of her, never moving any farther away from her then he had to. “This is our last time together, I want you to remember this always. Let me help heal you.” She nodded and buried her head in his neck as he moved faster. She began to contract her muscle around his shaft, making it tighter for him and all the love that she felt for him welled up inside her. He brought his lips down to her nipple and nibbled it, hearing her moan. She kept her eyes on him the whole time, feeling like if she closed her eyes just once he would disappear. She needed to feel the release both of them needed, she needed closure to start healing. This was different, she could almost feel what he was feeling and thinking and he could feel what I was feeling. Jen was overwhelmed, all of the anger and the sorrow that she had been holding back for the past year flooded through her. She let the emotions flow through her. They absorbed in her desire and love that she had in her heart and body. She had to end this with peace or she wouldn’t end it. As Alex came into her over and over again she brought her hands up to his face so that he was looking down at her. “My sweet Alex, my love, I’m letting you go, I will go on with my life, I will no longer be angry over losing you, I forgive the other driver for what he did. Alex, Alex..” All of the feelings that she had had intensified and she could feel the release coming. It was near, they both knew it. She had to let go and she was ok with it. “Alex, I will always love you and I will never forget you. Thank you for everything you gave me and that you have come back to give me. I will let you go in peace.” Alex and Jen’s mouths came together at the same time as their bodies moved closer to the edge. She kept her legs and arms wrapped around him as their mouths meshed together and all at once it all came crashing down upon them. It felt like a tornado was moving through her and she screamed out her release. She felt like her system was being cleansed of all that she had been feeling last year as Alex came with her, releasing himself inside her. She had him held so tightly to her she didn’t know where she ended and he began. She felt his liquid warm her insides and she contracted hard around him. She didn’t notice the tears escaping from her eyes as she hugged him to her, saying goodbye. The Goodbye This is a flash story. It's a one off and everything you need to know is in it. ***** Larry's final gift to his wife People are very different. As I am in my 6th decade (Holy Shit Batman! How the fuck did that happen?) Other boomers and I have begun to deal with mortality issues. (For now forget about Viet Nam and that draft. If you weren't affected by it, you may not understand that sword that was hung over our heads and what it did to us.) I've had several good friends and relatives deal with significant health problems. Some have passed. All of them, good marriages or not so good marriages, held together for each other. This story was triggered by meeting some friends on mine after a couple of months of not seeing them. They are a couple in their early 50's and she has a serious neurological disease. It's unknown to me whether there is hope or it's just a holding pattern. Their daughter is away at college, the wife is wheelchair bound, and the husband is the primary care giver every hour he is not at work. They are not wealthy but they are not hand-to-mouth either. They are there for each other. Period. I've seen this play out several times with others. I am blessed with people that I know personally who are like this. I do not know if the people I know are special. I hope that everybody is special in this way. A couple of months ago, I was told from my friends in the helping professions about a couple where the husband had a fatal neurological disease. Several years ago he was there totally for his wife when she came down with, and then beat, a nasty form of cancer. When he got sick, this wife had distanced herself from him, 'working away' for several days a week. (Real work, a real 230 miles away). Economically she didn't need to do it. There was no evidence that unfaithfulness is involved, but who knows. She's was not there for him emotionally or physically in those final months. That is being unfaithful in my book. His physical needs were taken care of with paid caregivers and a daughter that showed up once or twice a week. The wife was there only 2 to 3 nights each week. He was aware of what is happening with him and to him. Anger and hurt would be the mild way of putting it. Over 30 years of marriage and it came down to end like this. ---------- "Larry, what else can I get for you now?" I said as I adjusted his pillow. He's been physically declining, quicker and quicker. He decided to bring in hospice about 3 months ago. His wife Catherine was against it. She was present when the primary doctor and then the second opinion doctor said the same thing. It was only a matter of time. He wanted to be more comfortable. She only agreed to it when she realized it was going to save money on medical bills. Larry looked up at me and smiled. We'd been friends for over 50 years, from grammar school till now. He'll never reach 60 years, he barely reached 59. His illness was just the luck of the draw, not divine retribution. Shit happens, friendships can be forever. "Ed? Can you go over all that we've done? I want to make sure that everything's dddone right." I gripped his hand and my wife Sue leaned over and hugged him. Months ago as we saw Catherine pull away, we slowly stepped in. We were there for him. I grabbed my notebook and turned to page 59. I learned a long time ago that putting things on the first page can be a problem. People look at the first pages of a book, not the middle pages. This could lead to people seeing what you've done if they come across your writings. There were only going to be three people that completely knew what we did. They were all in the room right now. "First off, the house was put in a trust 15 years ago, 5 years after you married. That trust would have been very difficult to break without her knowing. So you took a second mortgage on it on it, the maximum second mortgage that you could get 6 months ago. The house was only worth $250K, now less in its current condition. You deferred payments on the second mortgage. You've deferred major maintenance too. Roof, furnace and major plumbing ... needs about $35K of work. You also stopped paying on the first mortgage and all the utilities 5 months ago when the loan came in. The bank still handled the property taxes so we couldn't touch that. From this point, the house is in current financial arrears to the tune of ...let me see... about $24,500. Today it would be able to net about $90K after all costs, repairs and selling costs. She's already taken a big hit to her credit score but she doesn't know it yet. You were in the high 700s a year ago. Yesterday she was at 510. "Since you were moved here, you had all your mail forwarded here directly from the post office. Between that and paying on-line, she has no clue on what has been happening financially. Her checks are still being direct deposited from her job. Only that she'll be able to depend on. "You've also been paying the minimum on her credit cards instead of paying them off every month like you normally did. That is, except fot the past 3 months. She's starting to rack up late fees and wonderful charges. Her rate is now at 24%. You're still doing the paperwork and paying the bills. She doesn't get it, does she? "With not paying the cards off and the cash advances you took, she was only $50 from maxing out her two credit cards yesterday morning. I put a security alert on your credit cards at your request yesterday morning. This morning, I cancelled them completely and paid off the balances. Sue spoke up. "You know Larry, it would have been hard for her to show up here yesterday afternoon like you asked. Yesterday morning we gave the pictures of Catherine and Jim to Shelia, Jim's wife. We also told them where they were going to be. They went to their usual place, that Hyatt in the western suburbs. That's far from your northwest side home. No one was supposed to know them there. "For a petite woman, Shelia took him down with one kick to his groin. He shouldn't have been holding that chair like a weapon. Bad luck that their 'secret' outdoor cafe was covered by security cameras. The wronged wife is pressing charges against him for attempted assault. Catherine had to make police statements as well as explain how that chair in his hands ended up hitting her across the face. Very bad backhand on his part, wasn't it? "At the restaurant, her credit cards were maxed out, yours were declined and the checking account was NSF, non-sufficient funds. Checks now get processed automatically, immediately. Your kids weren't answering her calls and somehow whenever she called me, we kept getting disconnected. You didn't get any calls?" Larry shook his head no. "I wonder who came through for her? Maybe one of her kids? Maybe not. They've been very pissed at how she's been treating you." Sue paused then continued. "It's been really nice to see them all here every week. That human contact has been so good for you since she got you moved to this facility." Larry smiled at us both. "Thank you, thank yyyou so much." He's been quickly losing the ability to speak. The disease has been advancing rapidly. We all knew what the progression was going to be. "On the financial side, this is what we've done. In the past 3 years, you've been converting your older 401Ks to Roth IRAs, and paid the tax on it. That was costly, but as a Roth, you could take it out tax free. Your wife, Catherine was the primary beneficiary. As you asked, we've reduced the balances on all of those accounts to $1.02. I liked your reason for the 2 cents. It was all she was worth to you. So that'll be what she gets. "With the gift tax laws, you've given $15K tax free to each of your children, their spouses and your grandchildren. You've also given the max to Catherine's two children and her grandchildren. That emptied your Roth accounts. "On your current 401Ks, we had a slightly different problem. We took the distribution, paid the taxes and with the cash deposited into your bank account. You needed to spend it. You put a hefty chunk on both of your kid's mortgages and the rest on Catherine's kid's mortgages. Overall, it was only a couple of hundred different for each of the 4 of them if you factor in the gifts to the grandchildren. I don't feel that any of them will feel slighted. "The checking account was nearly emptied, except for $1.02. I did that yesterday morning before her lunch date. I took it in the cash. It was only $4,300. I gave it to your Fr. Mike as you requested. He's been very helpful to you. I'm sure that he's helped others with anger over abandonment and unfaithfulness. Being at St Pats outside of the Loop, he's normally with a younger crowd. But he really understood you. He was wonderful. "You both had $100K 25 year term life policies that you were going to carry till they ended. We were able to change the beneficiary to the four kids and leave your wife with .02%, down from 100%. Again, nice touch." Larry chuckled. There was a sorrowful wry smile on his face. "Larry, I'm proud of you for what you've done for the kids. Your wife may end up getting some of the extra money from her kids. But I think that you as a person showed them that you still loved and cared for all those kids, your kids and hers. Hopefully, hers will take after you, not Catherine. You were the real father to them. "By the way, my lawyer friend said that your will was a masterpiece. Everything not in the trust that could possibly be claimed was named. Choosing your brother Jack as the executor is going to slowly bleed dry whatever she could have hoped to close quickly on. It will have to go to probate and you know the court system. It will crawl." "My pre-paid funeral?" "It's all set Larry. It's all that you wanted and you spent more than she wanted. I made sure that the notice in the paper will run in the Chicago Tribune on Sunday and for the rest of the week. She's mentioned as an estranged wife." Sue spoke up, "I made the slide show for the wake. It will include shots of the credit card lines for Lovers Lane, the dinners and the Hyatt stays. There will be no family or individual pictures of her at all. Whenever there was a family shot, I photo shopped a black square over her face. The only pictures we had of her are her and her lover kissing and him feeling her up in that cafe they went to all the time. By the way, would you like to give Ed your wedding rings now?" Larry took them off and gave then to me. The wedding ring and the 10 year anniversary ring... almost made it to 20. The youngest 'kid' is 25. Sue motioned to Larry and me that she wanted to speak. "Larry, you've always taken care of the finance. It was real easy to do your next wish. You had all the accounts and passwords. You also converted everything to electronic notification, to an email address that only looks like hers, but wasn't. The security questions all revolved around Catherine. We accessed her accounts from outside your home on your password protected Wi-Fi using that old hand-me-down laptop your kids gave you and Catherine. Yesterday morning, we changed the password on your own email account too. It'll take time and many copies of your death certificate to open up each of your accounts and to transfer things to her name. She's going to hit the wall so often that there's going to be an outline of her body on it. "While you were at doctor appointments and she was supposed to be home, I transferred the majority of her 401K funds to that non-tax deferred Mutual Fund she has. It's been more than 65 days. That means that federal taxes have to be paid on what was transferred out. We used a fund she had set up years ago. It only had $5,500 in it when we started. It has big upfront costs and fees and it's been losing money for years. Three years ago it was about $10K. By the end of the year and the tax statements come in, she will have a mess to clean up. I didn't take money away from the 401K from her current job, just all the others. All the others had about $125,000 going in. Now with the taxes and penalties... Remember, she's still under 55...its worth about... $78,000 +/- $10,000." Larry smiled. She was going to share his pain. "On her current work 401K, I switched her investments to the highest cost and most volatile. And I did it several times. You know, 4% upfront charge here, next month it was 5% there, repeat as needed. It brought down the value of her accounts quickly. She only had $34,000 to start off with and in the past 4 months, it's down to $20,000 or so. "The nice thing was doing all the trading and withdrawals on her own machine outside of your home. It was always done when she was with him and was supposed to be at home or work. It has all her tech fingerprints covering each transaction, and you were in the hospital every time. It'll be hard to prove fraud. Financial companies have been dealing with this for quite a while. Even if she wins, it won't be worth the cost to recapture those funds." Larry raised his finger to speak. "FFFor so many years..." Larry gasped for breath. With tears in his eyes he continued, "We built a life together. She got sick and got bbbbetter." He paused again. This was taking its toll on him physically. Taking about it was liberating, yet painful too. "We were working class, we sssaved our money. I thought we were important to each other. SSShe knows what it was like to get deadly sick." He gasped for air and wiped his eyes. Sue got a tissue and finished the job for him. "And she threw me away when I got sick. The first hospital admission told me about her. At first when there was some hope, she stayed around. When I felt that I may not get better, I attempted to clean up everything financially. Then I kept declining. She pulled away. I understand pulling away emotionally. I could even accept it. Not everybody can handle a spouse dying. I was prepared for that, I'd seen it before when my sister Terry died. It took years for me to even be in the same room with my brother Jack. It took months, but I learned how hard it was for him. I was willing to give her that. But Jack never was unfaithful. "It wasn't like I came down with some form of dementia. I'm still here intellectually and emotionally although my body's been wasting away. Even if she would have asked I probably would have oked it. If only she remained emotionally with me. If only she'd been honest with me. "Do you remember Carl?" We both nodded yes. His wife came down with some form of dementia in her mid 50's. It was his kids that urged him to start dating again a year after she was permanently hospitalized. She had become dangerous to be around. It was hard on everybody, but people understood and later became very supportive. His girlfriend Nancy was a gem. "But when I saw the first Lover's Lane purchase, a fancy restaurant and a charge for the Hyatt on the same day... I was done. Then I kept seeing the Hyatt bills every week or two." He paused and took a slow breath, "I've not regretted anything we've done to her." "I've declined as far as I want to now. I've said my good byes to my kids, and her kids too. Hell, they were my kids too. It was a real blended household. They are all good kids and it was a good life with them. Larry closed his eyes and tried to take a couple of deep breaths. We waited until he was comfortable again. Sue was holding his hand. We knew what was coming next. The three of us agreed to it months ago. He brought it up again last week, saying that it was the time for it very soon. "You both know what the disease will do to me from now on. I'm not willing to fight it any more. "It's time to say good bye to you two. I don't know how I could have stayed sane without your help and love. "Goodbye my dear friends." Sue and I said goodbye and hugged him. We knew that the next time we were going to see him would be at the wake. It was prepaid so he knew it was going to happen. He asked us to pour us all some Jack Daniels. That's what he and I drank in high school together, and we got in a shit load of trouble for it back then. The three of us toasted. Then I gave him a packet of prescription meds that he'd been adding to for months. He did the research and knew that it would be more than enough. He wasn't going to be in pain anymore very soon, physical or emotional. It was going to be a quick falling asleep. "Would you want us to stay until..." At that, he popped a handful of pills and guzzled his ample glass of Jack. "No, I think that all is set now. Thanks for caring." One of many copies of the properly signed "Do Not Resuscitate" order was placed prominently on the tray table. We followed his wishes, and wished him the best. It was right after dinner and the next time anyone would be checking on him would be at 9 PM, 4 hours away. There would be no autopsy. I wonder what we would hear about Catherine after this? I don't know if I really care. The last thing we will need to do is give his wedding band to the funeral director. But it had to be visibly broken first for him to wear and everyone to see. It was his final gift to her. The Goodbye Fuck New York City., circa: 1966 . I was twenty-six years old, and although Vietnam was still raging, my military duty was over. I had no responsibilities. but to myself. I was an experienced journeyman rock drummer, a hopeless heterosexual male, a rooster in the rock n' roll hen house. The Beatles were here and their music was everywhere. That was New York in the sixties. I drove in with a band from the mid west. We met in San Francisco and played our way east. When we got to NYC we cut a record for Columbia and then sat around waiting for "it" to happen. I got a job in the house band at the Café WHA? on Mac Dougal Street in Greenwich Village, or "the village," as it was known then. In the sixties, the smell of incense laced with weed was pervasive, in every loft crashpad and apartment.. Remember, this was the sixties, there were no dangerous STD' s, no Herpe's, no AID's, just the old Clap and that was still easily treated with antibiotics. Sex was available, everywhere. The village was (and probably still is ) the east coast crossroads for every starry eyed young wannabe, And they all come down to the village to see the sights and be seen "hangin' out." A group of six or seven sweet young blossoms from a religious boarding house uptown in the west 50's used to come down together. My friends and I began to "harvest" some of the tastier fruits in that orchard. One of them, I'll call her Colleen was really pretty, fresh-faced, and outrageously flirtatious. She had that wonderful combination of innocence and sexuality. … At 21 she was a classic Irish beauty from Chicago, she wore her thick coal black hair piled high on her head, Her face was striking, with killer blue-green eyes…Colleen was from a strict Irish Catholic background, a graduate of St. Mary's College in South Bend, Indiana and apparently very, very straight. She was fastidious in her dress and person. Everything was "perfect," her hair, makeup, clothes, everything, not a hair out of place. It drove me crazy. She would not get into bed with me despite months of dating and hours of seductive fore play. finally, after a too many unproductive hard-ons, I decided to give it up. I planned to take her out to dinner to break the news, and not just disappear. Hopefully, a public place would limit any uncomfortable outbreak of emotions... Colleen looked great that night. About five-eight, she was a former dancer and Olympic Class swimmer with a lean taught body and gorgeous long legs. Her high, firm, and full breasts were spectacular on an otherwise very slender frame That night, she wore a dark business suite with a white starched cotton blouse Her full heavy breasts pushed the jacket open, exposing an expanse of luminous soft white Irish skin. She smelled like spring breeze after it had blown across miles of fresh heather. The blouse was open at the neck, with a black ribbon worn like a choker around her long slender neck. Her red lipstick set off white even teeth and dark blue eye shadow highlighted those big blue-violet. Colleen was very, very beautiful. This was not going to be easy, I thought.. Still, she took it very well, with downcast eyes and only a few comments like, "You don't know what your missing, etc" True, I did not know what I was missing, and it seemed as if I never would without marrying her, and that I was not about to do. I remembered my friends admonition, that the way to cure a Catholic nymphomaniac was … "marry her!" We took a cab back to her apartment. She surprised me by inviting me in for a, "farewell drink." Like many Irish girls, Colleen loved both beer and wine…As we sipped our wine, she began to loosen up and to talk about our past relationship and my "preoccupation with sex." It's all you've wanted from the very beginning", she mused ( Indeed, what did she expect?) As she drank more,, she began to work herself into a kind of a self-induced buzz. Her voice getting more, and more strident as she cursed me and men in general. She was beginning to slur her words as she guzzled the wine …well, did she ever get pissed! Becoming increasingly more shrill and strident, finally yelling at me calling me all kinds of vulgar names like prick, cocksucker, etc ( words I didn't even think she knew, yet alone would say out loud) Frankly, I was getting a bit scared and started to leave. She blocked the door with her body. "What's the matter can't you take it?" She looked awfully fucking hot standing there…magnificent really, her face flushed, her eyes blazing a barely repressed fury.. Her breathing caused her great full tits to rise and fall noticeably. This pulled at the buttons of her starched white blouse. All I could think of was how much I wanted to fuck her… weird? No, it's a guy thing. Well, the next thing I knew, she slapped me … I acted without thought, I grabbed her and kissed her hard and deep, and to my great surprise, she kissed me back. She sucked my tongue like she meant to keep it. Then pulled away and slapped me again only this time she said, " You want to fuck me? Is that what you want you big stupid prick?" I was stunned, and didn't answer… She reached up and began to unbutton her blouse … between the buttons I could see the lace on her light pink bra and the soft white of her skin … now, I really was getting excited. I could feel my dick getting hard … all the while she was talking trash.."… "you're all the same, all you want is to fuck… you don't care about me, or anyone, you just want to cum." "You're like all of them, just a prick with legs." I could see it in her eyes before she reached up to slap me again and I grabbed her arm and slapped her back, not hard, but enough to get her attention …instead she spit in my face … she was really upset and angry, her face was caught in a sneer of disgust, her hair was disarrayed, her makeup messed up, it was the first time I ever saw her messy, it made her look so sexy, slutty really…when she spit, some of her spit went straight into my mouth. It tasted sweet, her breath smelled lightly of peppermint and Penot Noir ) The spitting was disgusting, still, I loved it … I felt dirty, she was demeaning me, and yet I was extremely aroused… I realized my dick was very hard and obviously so. She was getting ready to spit again that really turned me on and I grabbed her by the neck pulled her up to me and kissed here hard and wet. At the same time, I jammed my stiff prick against her, she pushed back. Her mouth was full of saliva and her tongue was hot and sweet. I sucked and drank all of it. It was fabulous. I pulled my mouth from hers, strings of spit trailed across the gap between her face and my mouth. Then I held her face in both hands and licked her from her chin to her smeared, slutty, mouth, lips, nose, eyes, all of it and it was wonderful. This, of course, spread her spit back across her face…I sucked more spit from her mouth and sucked hard on her tongue… her mouth just kept on producing her sweet saliva. She relaxed in my arms letting me drink from her mouth. Shit, it was sooo fuckin' hot … I began to lick her face again … her tears, (she was crying, either in frustration, or lust ) … all the time she's cursing me, trying ( half heartedly, I think) to bite me … I could smell her heat, her perfume, her body, her fear and her anger, but beneath it all, I could smell her sex… she was hot too, in heat and lust.. I wanted to dominate her and I loved her abusive attitude at the same time.. I wanted to fuck and be fucked, and I was ashamed because I loved it so. finally she stopped reacting and just stood there while I toyed with her body. She was leaning against me, her eyes now staring into my soul… her makeup smeared all over her face, her hair in disarray, She was breathing through her mouth … her red full lips were folded back over her white even teeth ( she had a great dentist ) her blue green eyes hooded and feral looking. I was mauling her breasts and had another hand in her pants fingering her through her panties … she was soaking wet. Suddenly she went limp in my arms for a moment, then her body began to tremble, her eyes snapped open and her body shivered ( I think she had a small orgam) Then she said, .. "Ok, you want to fuck, let's fuck … I hate you, you son of a bitch…Wanna' know what you're missing? I'll show you, you fucker you, for the rest of your life you'll regret letting me go… come on… fuck me now!" This was getting wild. Never had I seen her like this. It was a bit frightening, as she spoke spit came flying out of her mouth . I grabbed her again and we chewed on each other grunting, growling, and clumsily trying to hump each others legs … I got my hand in her pants again and was now finger fucking her through her panties… all the while she looked directly at me with those crazy, hurt, evil, tear filled eyes. She broke the kiss for a second, only to say, "motherfucker" and she dove right back into my mouth again, her tongue going down my throat. All of a sudden, without pausing to take of the rest of her clothes, she just pulled pulled down her black short dress … she stuck her beautiful ass up in the air while placing her face on the couch pillows and spreading her cheeks with both hands… her pink thong still stuck in her pussy where I had been finger fucking her. I pulled them off with her assistance… "You want it? "I've seen you looking at my ass." Go ahead eat it, you prick, lick it!" …Never in the months that we had known each other had she used any vulgar language, let alone such common filth. " it's all your good for, you shit sucker"… "Go ahead, do it!" God help me because I could not help myself. I got down on my knees behind her, she was steaming, her body seemed to lterally glow and vibrate, her hips slowly flexing up and down, so juicy, a pearly drop of viscous moisture hung from her red hot labia - white, and pink, and red, it seemed as if her whole vulva was pulsing with a demonic lust The smell of pheromones was overpowering, pungent and intimate. So beautiful, her skin, flawless in the late afternoon light, her ass cheeks firm and taught from hours of ballet and exercise … her anus, tight and pink within a slightly brown outer ring, the sphincter slowly flexing.. The forbidden treasure was spread before me, the smell was delicious. I wanted to bury myself in it! Instead I stopped and just looked at it, thinking how it was going to taste, how good it would feel for her to be sucked and licked in such an intimate and forbidden place. She began to whine … it was more like a a high pitched animal keening sound, whimpering. It set me off. I could feel the pre cum coating the inside of my underwear … I was ready, and so was she. I leaned nearer, savoring the smell of her body, that heady brew of warm skin, soap, with a hint of perfume and overriding all of it, the earthy aroma of a woman animal in heat. I wanted to consume her whole being, to die by burying myself in her molten, dripping sex. To drink her juices and to suck her insides out. I think one could say, I was literally mad with passion. First, I used my mouth to very carefully catch the drop of woman sex before it fell to the floor. I then ran my long, warm, and agile tongue lightly around the mouth and lips of her womb, causing spasms and groans from her frustrated soul. It was indescribable, so sweet, and so dirty. She was now mine, this Irish Catholic Slut Virgin…mine! I could not wait longer. Forming my tongue like a spear, I penetrated as deep into her vagina as possible, eliciting a deep animal growl from Colleen, her knees buckled as she fell upon the couch. I wiggled my tongue around inside while she squealed and whimpered. It was so sweet, delicious, and intoxicating, but I wanted more. Now, she was moaning my name over, and over like a mantra all the while her hips were slowly undulating up and down in the primal mating rhythm. I rolled her back on her stomach and spread her gorgeous ass, revealing that tight little rosebud… using my tongue again I lightly flicked it about the outer ring, then with increasing frequency moved in closer to the center. While doing this I had inserted one finger into her now dripping pussy and began a slow in and out movement, sliding against the vaginal wall, it was soooo tight! Colleen was now making faint meweling and crying sounds, her body was beginning to shake and vibrate. I had to hold her down with my torso. I couldn't tell if she was crying, or laughing, or what, but I was not going to stop until I had her there. Then I let my tongue go all soft and wet, lapping her succulent juices. Then, without warning, I went directly to the center of her most intimate place and using my tongue like a spear, pierced it to the core … an unmistakeable orgasm ripped through her taught firm body, her tits swayed like jello. I went back to using my fingers, first one, then two, finally I got three into her. I could feel her body retracting. Then it hit her like an electric shock. Colleen's muscles were tight and bunched like coiled spring. Then the spring broke. first she screamed, grunting, crying and bucking, all at the same time, she came like the sexual animal she really was, I was thrown from the couch like a feather. After a few minutes, we got our breath back, we lay there with me on top of her again, lightly kissing her neck and shoulders, she reached out and took my face in her hands, her big eyes luminous in the growing twilight. First she just kissed me, as soft, chaste, and tender a kiss as one ever got from his mother, and then she drove her tongue into my mouth and began to devour me. She licked my lips and the wet parts of my face, cleaning off her juices and swallowing loudly, then she went inside to suck my tongue. During the process I mounted her. Her legs spread to receive me, all the while moaning into my mouth and sucking. She was so wet. I was not gentle. I positioned my peg above the hole, centered it, and rammed it home to the hilt. I wanted to violate her and I did. Her scream was deafening, but I was too engaged to quit under any circumstances. Shit, it felt soooo good! Sooo hot! Her body, first retreating then crashing back into me. I drove it in again, and again, wanting to split her in two. She was so tight. I came in less than a minute pouring great gobs of steaming seamen into her thrashing body. When I finished in the bathroom, she was lying on the couch covered by a blanket softly sobbing. I was overwhelmed by what had just happened. Never in my life had I seen such passion, such heat and felt so moved, never. How could I ever leave this awesome woman, this ultimate gift of passion and lust. I felt so very grateful and yes even reverent. She held my heart in her hand. I went to her side and knelt by her head, bending over to kiss her. "Colleen, Colleen, I whispered," Her head raised off the pillow and her eyes snapped open. There was the flame of the caldera smoldering there! It was as pure hate as earlier it had been lust. I recoiled, shocked and bewildered. "Get the fuck out of here, never come back and never call me, never!." She said it softly and in an almost conversational tone. Frankly, it scared the shit out of me! When I got home and went to take a shower, I looked down at my shorts. At first I feared I had hurt myself, but after examination, there was only one conclusion I could reasonably reach. The blood was not mine. She had been a virgin! The Goodbye Party My wife, Cath and I are both 38 and have been married 17 years. We are just an average couple like thousands of other people who get on with their lives. We are not what you would term "beautiful people" We both have what is termed the fuller figure, but we have a good sex life and still like to get down to it. Our moto was go with the flow. We have tried most thing that couples can do and enjoyed every minute of it. And like most couple we have our fantasies. From the early days of knowing each other we had often fantasised and discussed others joining us during sex. These are our true accounts from the last 17 years where others have joined us. Only the names have been changed to protect the not so innocent! * * * * * My job meant that we moved around from place to place. At one particular pace we lived at, our neighbour, we'll call him Fred) became a good friend over the 3 years we lived there. We were getting ready to move to a new place and just before Fred invited us over for a bit of a goodbye drink and bar-b-q with a few of the other neighbours. We had all got along really great in the time we had been there. We had arrived early afternoon and had been enjoying one of those lazy summer days when the drink flows and the food is great. It had been a hot day and Cath was wearing a semi-see through body top and shorts. Being of the fuller bust she wore a bikini bra under the top. Fred had taken notice of what she was wearing from the start. The party went well and as it started to go dark and the weather became cooler people Cstarted to drift off home just leaving Fred, my wife and myself and we retired to the living room of his house and Nursing a drink and making small talk, Cath had positioned herself on the floor between my legs facing Fred; I was sitting on a lounge chair. Noticing a slight rise in his shorts I could tell that my wife's semi-hard nipples were turning him on as they were pressing hard against the fabric. Fred then went to refill the drinks in the kitchen. Afternoons drinking had certainly loosen up my inhibitions and my wife's. Grabbing hers breasts in her hands she rubbed them together and stated the obvious, "Fred wants these" Laughing I replied that who wouldn't. Returning from the kitchen Fred handed us the drinks. Cath's nipples were even more pronounced now after her little rubbing spell. Fred gave Cath a compliment on how good she looked and said I was very lucky. As I thanked him for the compliment. I asked him if he would like to see more, and before either of them could speak I slid my hands around Cath's waist and pulled the front of the top up, the bikini bra down, baring Cath's large bouncy breasts to him. He was absolutely speechless, as was Cath. I whispered in her ear for her not to worry. She looked back at me and gave me a sly smile, at the same time reaching behind her and giving the front of my pants a rub. Her smile widened a little when she felt my semi hard on through my trousers. Laughing somewhat nervously Cath replaced her breasts After composure was gained somewhat. Cath asked me to put some aftersun lotion on her shoulders and back where she had caught the sun. As I rubbed the lotion in I slipped the straps down off her shoulders and slid her suit down to her waist. Now she was sitting in her bikini bra within reach of Fred who was acting like he hadn't noticed. I reached around and cupped each breast firmly in my hands and started to caress them, as I started nibbling on Cath's neck. Cath looked at me and smiled, and asked me, "should we go with the flow?" I replied yes. Cath reached out and took Fred's hand and put it on her breast, sighing as he touched it. Heavy petting soon set in and before long Fred and I had worked Cath out of her shorts and top. Cath reached up and slid her hand over the front of Fred's shorts rubbing at the bulge in the front as he slid his hand between her thighs. Cath opened her legs up wider to invite his advances. I watched as Fred slid a finger inside Cath's already glistening pussy, a moan escaping as he inserted it deeper. Cath then worked at getting Fred's shorts and underwear off him, and when she was done I watched her slide her lips over his hard shaft, licking the tip with her tongue, then swallowing as much as she could. Cath was on her hands and knees and I positioned myself so I could lick her pussy and watch her give Fred head at the same time. What an amazing site, I carried on eating Cath's moist wet pussy. I could tell she was getting near cumming as she thrust herself backwards harder on to my busy mouth. I then positioned myself to slide into Cath from behind. She started moaning harder and had an amazing orgasm. I saw Fred stop Cath, moving his hard cock from her mouth before he came; Cath is if I can say so very practised in oral arts. Cath lay down on her back and rubbed her hands over her wet and soaking pussy before rubbing her wet hand over her breasts memorising Fred. I invited Fred to try them for himself and he needed no second bidding. I quickly positioned myself at Cath's head and she turned around and slid her lips over my shaft. Fred quickly moved and placed himself between Cath's breasts wrapping them around his shaft. Cath reached up and pushed her breasts tighter together all the way to his nuts. Fred started sliding his cock in and out of the soft mounds of flesh in and out, fast and then slow, all the while Cath was slowly rolling my cock inside her mouth. I was enjoying the moment, Cath looked so beautiful, and I could tell she was enjoying her self. The action went on for a while longer until a loud moan was heard from Fred and I saw cum erupt from the end of his shaft on to Cath's neck. He then collapsed onto the floor. Cath turned around and pushed me down on my back. Turning to face Fred she lowered herself on to my waiting cock and proceeded to bounce up and down whilst rubbing Freds cum into her breasts. I saw Fred move forward and slowly lower his mouth over one of Cath's erect nipples; a loud groan erupted from her lips. Fred sucked on Cath's breasts while she rode up and down on my shaft I could feel the grip of Cath's pussy tightening on my shaft; I could feel my balls tightening ready to come. I saw Cath move Fred's hand to her pussy and I briefly felt his hand as he rubbed the top of Cath's pussy before he concentrated his rubbing on her clitoris. Cath was riding my cock like there was no tomorrow and with a large moan she came, I then let myself go feeling my cum spurt deep into her soft pussy. That was it for the evening. We lay spent on the floor and laughed and giggled as the embarrassment set in as. A drink for the road and we left the house. Cath and I discussed the evening events later and we both agreed what a turn on it had been. We also agreed that we would not plan any future events and we would "just go with the flow" – as an opportunity arose we would take it! We moved the following week and as with anywhere new it took a while to settle in and make new friends but some good friends we did make but that account comes later!