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Ludy's Kink Cafe Ch. 01

By: Ziggy Odyssey



PART 1

Hugo Long was coiled up in the back seat around his favorite log. The Autumn sun flickered over the prize winning boa constrictor as the car swerved over the river and through the woods. The librarian suggested, but did not insist, that he take the unwieldy piece of driftwood to keep Hugo at ease. It seemed to be working.

Ziggy Odyssey was driving. Ziggy was uncomfortable around reptiles. He wished his traveling companion were of the warm blooded variety. But a mission from the librarian was always an adventure... even if it meant spending three days driving time with a non-conversational serpent. Hail Mumbo Jumbo!

He'd been with the organization for nearly seven years and he had the merit badges, schtick, and Polaroids to prove it.

It had once been thought that he'd make an excellent High Priest someday, but at age 30 he had developed a proclivity for gallivanting. He hung up his seeker goggles and turned to adventuring. And so, the organization kept him on board as an errand man of sorts. As to the hows and why-fors of the Mumbo Jumbo echelon, they kept him much like one would keep a prize mushroom: in the dark and full of shit.

Which was just fine with him. Ziggy thought mushrooms were magical. All he knew was that he was supposed to deliver his serpent friend to a fortune teller in Peoria, Illinois by Tuesday, plenty of time to lolly-gag and root about.

He unrolled the window (snakes stink!). He lit a cigarette.

"Welcome to Wisconsin, Hugo!" he said to his backseat passenger as they crossed the state line.

"Hey Hugo, do you know Wisconsin's state motto?" Hugo didn't answer.

"It's 'FORWARD!'" The little speck in the center of Hugo's yellow eyes were motionless. 

"...forward..." Ziggy muttered less enthusiastically this time.

Forward- being near, at, or belonging to the front. Eager. Ready. Brash. Bold. Getting ready for the future. Forward.

Flash "forward" a few hours later... (at Ludy's Cafe in Noplaceville, Wisconsin.)

Ziggy spun around in dizzying circles on the lunch counter stool. weeeee. The jingle bells on his official Mumbo Jumbo fez clattered as he squeaked his seated pirouette to a halt.

He looked like a beatnik shriner. He was accustomed to the cautious stares of strangers but he got a good vibe from this place. Nobody seemed to pay him much attention and he found it very liberating. He felt at ease the moment he walked through the door and he had a giddy notion to kick off his All-star tennis shoes and prop up his long-toed stinky feet. 

He surveyed the moment at hand. The chatter of small town Wisconsin folk enjoying a pleasant lunch percolated like popcorn. Ludy's was bustling. The scene was so packed with brightly colored Americana that it looked like a fucking Norman Rockwell jigsaw puzzle. 

Silverware clanked. A chubby platinum-haired lady wrapped her lipsticked mouth around a roll. Shakey legged old men read newspapers at the front door. Across the street an American flag flapped in the wind. A boy in a green jacket rode by on a bicycle. The sun was warm and bright. The jukebox was "wham bam a lam bam a bing bong booing". The pie display was aglow. 

And so was Ziggy. Get a load of the decor... Farmer Bill bric-a-brac and autographed baseballs. The twisted, majestic rack from some unlucky stag loomed over the dining room and a slew of plaqued fish were frozen in time with their big mouths gaping in holy aquatic ferociousness. A black & white photo of a midget in a ten-gallon hat shaking hands with Richard Nixon hung above the milkshake machine.

A waitress was taking an order. Ziggy was taking hers. What an outfit! Was this 1955? Saddle shoes & bobby socks. Tanned legs and a light blue car-hop skirt and apron; its curt hem whispering around her firm thighs. Embroidered on the back of her satiny black shirt, in flamboyant, pink flamingo loops was the call to "Eat at Ludy's". A cute little paper hat was nestled in her long honey golden hair. This blonde was devastatingly sexy. Men whistle at shapes like her's. Me-my-my.

And what have we here? Another sock-hop waitress breezed by and gave him a crooked smile. Her fire red hair coiled and spun out in frizzy spastic untamed locks. A vulcan-voodoo princess if he ever saw one. Green bambi eyes blinked their fanning lashes behind her black rimmed glasses. Lanky. Jaunty. Tall. Young. Her sharp little nose. Her pointed tits.

Ziggy wanted to spread this fire goddess's long skinny legs akimbo. She'd be all shy and blushing and awkward at first but during the bucking and bouncing and grinding and fucking she'd scream her fire engine off. Yes, you delectable little doormouse, Ziggy would love to tip your teapot. Push your crooked smile into the soft pillows and work out a rhythm on your pale white backside amidst your muffled screams... ooo la la.

Ziggy's daydream was interrupted when a kid with a bow tie and standard issue Ludy's paper hat set a glass of water on the counter for him.

He was dressed all in white, except for his silly little red bow tie. His apron, which might have once been white, was dingy with the smears of grease spit and chocolate malt.

"Trade ya hats..." said Johnny Bow-Tie with a smirk. 

"Not on your life, but I'll tell you where you can get one of these jim dandies if you tell me the names of your enchanting waitresses," Ziggy propositioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Okay. It's a deal," laughed Johnny Bow-Tie.

"Good! Here's what you do: Go to The Fifth Dimension, just outside of Normal, Illinois. Tell 'em Ziggy sent 'cha. Fast Larry might even throw in a free swizzle stick," he said.

"Okay. Fair enough," chuckled Johnny. "Well, that's " ----- and his voice just cut out. Johnny Bow-Tie's lips were moving, but all Ziggy heard was something that sounded like centipedes doing a rhumba.

Then, for an instant, time seemed suspended. The honey-blonde waitress looked over her shoulder at him. There was a roaring sound like a train. Her pale blue eyes met his disoriented stare. She looked straight into the mirror of his mind and pursed her glossy lips in a mocking kiss... the world was screaming inside his head, and then... POW!... everything was fine again.

Ziggy pulled on his ear, completely thrown off guard by the strange auditory hallucination. 

Bow-Tie Johnny's voice cut back into the soundtrack, "so the guys all call her RAGING Ragina. She can be a real bitch when she wants to. Don't tell her I said that. The tall red-head with glasses, that's Sarah. She's nice but kinda weird.

"Miss Shikeena don't work the lunch shift, neither does Kayla or Lori," Johnny Bow Tie said as he toweled off a glass.

Another waitress bolted from the kitchen, dropped her order pad, lost her silly paper hat when she bent over, and bumped her head on the counter as she came back up. *thunk* "SHIT!" she shouted.

"...And this is Cass. She's the one who'll be taking your order," said Johnny Bow-Tie as he headed back to the kitchen with a bus of dirty dishes. "Hello there," said Cass. She was feeling for a lump under locks of chestnut brown hair. Ziggy swooned. He instantly liked her. Curses! He wanted to fuck every waitress in this place. Cruel fate, why must you mock thee?

"Are you o.k.?" Ziggy asked dreamily. The milliseconds spun by, he fell in love with her three or four times and Cupid's arrows (eros) kept right on falling.

"yeah, I'm o.k... just clumsy..." She blushed as she fixed her hat.

"Embrace chaos," Ziggy said, as if he were being helpful.

She gave him a blank stare,"...hey...YOU got a cool hat. Are those hummingbirds? I love hummingbirds," Her northern voice was musical. All those stretched vowels made Ziggy crave oral sex.

"They ARE hummingbirds." Ziggy cooed. She enamored him. It didn't take much to enamor Ziggy Odyssey. Ziggy would be what you would call "a free spirit" if only he could learn to stop falling in love with every waitress, cashier, and telephone operator that struck his fancy.

"ALL the chicks dig my hat. I'm starting a fashion revolution," he stated matter-of-factly. 

"hhmph!...yeaaaah well...I wish SOMEBODY would revolutionize the fashion around here," (rolling her dancing dark eyes). She flipped through her order-pad.

She was cute. Round doll face. Demure lips. He noticed the acne scars shadowing through her makeup. He wanted her even more. Wide hips that could hula him into oblivion. Her tits were pert little teacups.

"Yeah *chuckle*... that's quite a getup you've got on..." (Did he just say "getup"? Ziggy Odyssey, your Midwestern hick roots are showing.) His eyes crept up her soft arms and shoulders. 

"I'm surprised they don't make you wear roller skates with this car-hop outfit," he briefly imagined fucking her on roller skates.

"Very funny. Don't give the boss any ideas!" she quipped. "What'll you have?"

"What's the special?" he asked her.

Her big brown eyes twinkled, "Everything's pretty special here, mister."

"In that case..." he leaned over the counter. "...I'll eat whatever you bring me," Ziggy whispered provocatively.

"ooo. Aren't we brave..." Cass drew an arcane symbol on her note pad. "Dishwater and stewed beets, coming up!"

She read the painted scrawl on his ridiculous hat, "What's...'Mumbo Jumbo'?"

"It's a cult of crazy sex maniacs," he said nonchalantly.

"OOOOOOooooo!!!! Do tell! Can I join?!" she almost seemed to quiver with delight. Was she being sarcastic? Was his cock getting hard? He was digging this chic.

The truth be told, Cassandra Lynn Clark, age 24, size 32 b tits, poet, waitress, James Brown fan, and nymphomaniac... was digging the fuck out of him as well.

She leaned over the counter and whispered something in his ear. Her breath, warm and damp. She smelled like apricots and french fries. Her shirt gapped and his peeping eyes zoned in on the corner of a pink bra strapped tight against her creamy caucasian chest. But he couldn't make out a single damn word she said because all he could hear was that weird sound again.

Like a hundred clicking feet from a cosmic swarm of millipedes tap dancing on a sandpaper sidewalk. Then there was a swooping rush inside an aluminum tunnel only it throbbed like drumbeats. What was going on? Was he having flashbacks? He hadn't done acid in years.

*pppzzz!* Cass tore the ticket from her order pad and spun around... (ass: sexy. spankable. squeezable. bubble butt. yum yum.)

"Boris! ORDER UP!" she shouted. *ding*

Boris gave a dark menacing scowl over the order counter. Boris... villainous fry cook. Outlaw. Bad dude with a spatula. Ziggy made a mental note: do not complain about the food.

A boy in a green jacket bicycled past the window. A tough looking dude with a pony-tail smoked a cigarette. An old lady sank her dentures into a chicken leg.

Raging Ragina floated out, balancing a stacked and steaming lunch tray. Once again, her icy stare met Ziggy's pondering eyes. Her face seemed to flicker between laziness and intensity. Ziggy thought her teeth were kinda big but everything else about her was fuckable to the 100th degree. 

Ragina knew she was sexy. Maybe it was her lightly tanned skin or her perfectly buoyant bosom, her honey blonde hair or her tight ass, the way she wore her makeup or just the look in her eye... but something about Ludy's waitress, Raging Ragina Courtright, broadcasted "Fuck. Me. Now."

The Wisconsin survivalists men's club or whoever the hell they were, began passing hot food as Ragina balanced and tip toed around them. One of the men was brushing the back of her thigh. Another man patted her on the bottom. Apparently the local boy scouts were friendly.

Cass smiled and poured Ziggy a mug of coffee.

"Want me to put some cream in it?" she asked.

Ziggy nodded "...yes. With sugar and innuendo please."

To his surprise, Cass stuck her finger in his mug and swirled the cream and sugar. He was pretty sure this was a health code violation. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to complain to the management. With seductive grace she licked her slender finger and popped it into her mouth sliding it between her pursed lips.

"mmmm... just right," she said.

Ziggy got a warm fuzzy feeling. His penis began to swell. He wanted to say, "Get down here and suck off this fucking cock right now, right here, you fuckable fantasy toy. Get on your knees and load my meat in your mouth right here where I'm sitting on this stool and let me cum all over your face in front of all these people." Well, at least that's what he WANTED to say.

Instead, Ziggy just said, "Better be hot enough."

"Just try it and see," Then she flashed him her panties. Just for a second. She took her little blue skirt up in one of her little tight fists and innocently pulled the fabric over her hip. His brain took a picture of her creamy curving thighs and a swatch of pink cotton panty stretched over her crotch and strung around her hips. 

She backed away. One saddle shoe step at a time. She disappeared behind the swinging doors with a look of satisfaction on her face.

Ziggy could hardly believe it. This was the best lunch he'd ever had. His cock was swelling. His hormones were surging. His belly was growling.

Over in the window booth, Ragina was waiting on a business man (slick hair, sharp tie). She picked up his milkshake and sipped it. Then put it back on the table.

Sarah (the dynamite red-head with glasses) was passing out menus to a booth of teenage boys.

Ragina laughed and twirled her hair. The businessman's wife (heavy makeup, flashy jewelry) said something to Ragina. Ragina put her foot on the seat and turned out her thigh, slowly lifting up her skirt. The businessman nodded with pleasure.

Ziggy looked around. Was anybody else watching this?!!

Sarah was running her fingers through one of the boy's hair. The boys were laughing and encouraging her to join them. So, Sarah slid into the booth next to them. Her skinny white legs stuck out in the isle. She took the boy's hand and slid it to her tit. He squeezed it. She reached between the boy's legs under the table. A boy from the other side of the booth swung over to her side and sandwiched her in the middle. There were shouts and laughs from the booth but all that could be seen of Sarah was her skinny legs and saddle shoes sticking out in the isle. The booth of teenage hormone had swallowed her up and was greedily exploring her body.

He heard a woman at the counter say, "I wonder if the eggs come with toast."

Across the diner, Ragina giggled. The businessman leaned forward and reached out his hand. Ziggy couldn't see him doing it, but he was sure this guy was rubbing Ragina's pussy. Her hips swiveled and rocked back and forth.

Not only was the guy's wife watching, she was instructing him! She pointed and told him he was doing it wrong and that he should, "Use your thumb more, dear. That's right Dean, little circles. Now not so fast... that's it. You got it. See, she likes it!"

Ragina gasped and bit her quivering lip.

A fat man wiped pie from his fat face. 

Ragina tossed her head back and gave Ziggy an eerie stare. She held a hot pot of coffee in one hand and held her skirt up with the other as the red faced man worked his sizzling fingers over her cunt.

A thousand subways took off in Ziggy's ears. The thumping of giants beat the hell out of his cranium and he pressed his fists into his forehead. There was a crushing darkness weighing down on him.

--------------------------

PART 2

Then the signal shut off; the roaring dimmed to a faint ring. He slowly lifted his head. His blurry eyes tried to focus. A green shape flew by the window.

"Man!" he shook his head and stared into his coffee. "I can do without the fucking sudden implosion of my mother fucking brain!" Maybe he smoked too much pot last night.

What was going on here? Did nobody else in this place find anything odd, unusual, offensive, etc. about the VERY forward, albeit, friendly behavior of the young ladies that worked in this establishment?

Ziggy imagined writing a restaurant review for this place. "The wait staff was extremely accommodating. I didn't eat much but I certainly enjoyed the sauces."

"I've died. I've died and gone to heaven..." sang the juke box. Bubbles began to fall from the ceiling.

"O.K." Ziggy sat very still. "Shit's gett'n weird now."

Sitting next to him at the counter, a disheveled man with wild hair slurped his coffee. He had a woody funk and beady eyes that were strangely calm. His skin looked very dry and pealy and pink.

Cass slid a monster cheeseburger in front of Ziggy.

"What, no Kao Pao Thai today?" Ziggy chided.

"Take it or leave it," Cass pouted.

"Why are there bubbles floating around in here?" Ziggy asked suspiciously.

"Ludy thinks it adds 'atmosphere'. It's pretty fucking Lawrence Welk if you ask me," said Cass.

"Wow..." Ziggy's eyes bulged, "this is a mega-burger."

"Hope you like meat," Cass said.

"Aaahh... I'm a bigger fan of the cheese. This better have special Wisconsin cheese on it," Ziggy teased.

"If it's cheese you want, you can edam my gouda as mozzarella as you like," she invited.

"Mmmm... I'll munster your fontina until you scream 'Asiago!'," he replied.

"Hear that Mister Robert," Cass laughed and poured woody-funk man another cup of coffee. "This guy here is a baaad boy. He wants to fuck me."

Woody-funk man turned to Ziggy and blinked his quiet beady eyes, "Really? All the bad boys and girls find their way to Ludy's, don't they now?" he said in a low voice.

"You should get yourself a lunch card," Woody-funk man fished around in his wallet and took out a paper card and proudly showed it to Ziggy.

Ziggy read the card, "Buy 5 Lunches at Ludy's and a waitress will jerk you off!" Mr. Robert had 3 punches.

"...uh... cool," said Ziggy. He gave him a perplexed smile. Was somebody having a joke on him? Had he stumbled into a cafe or a whore-house? He had to get some straight answers.

"You really give hand-jobs here?" he asked Cass.

"Well... What do you think? Do we?" she asked.

"I don't know. Do you? That's what I'm asking," he stammered.

"Sure. Yeah. We give hand-jobs. We also give blow jobs," she leaned over the counter and slid her finger over his tense neck.

"We have gangbangs... orgies," she spread her hand over his chest. His heart was thundering against its cage.

"Lots and lots of hot... sloppy... nasty... fucking... whatever. It all goes down at Ludy's. Nothing that a 'sex cult maniac' hasn't seen before, I'm sure," her eyes were chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

"It's no big deal," she started refilling phallic little salt shakers, "Ludy has a very simple philosophy. Libido and appetite go hand in hand. The hornier he keeps his customers, the more food they'll eat. If I were you," she leaned in close, "I'd try not to think about things too much, listen to your cravings," she pressed her pouty lips to his mouth and *kiss*...whoa! slipped him her pink minty tongue.

What a kisser! Their tongues danced in each other's mouth. Ziggy sucked her tongue. He wanted to swallow her spit. He wanted to slurp the sex from her pussy. He wanted to suck milk from her tits. He wanted to...

She broke off the kiss and bit his lower lip. "Eat your cheeseburger," she winked and headed back to the kitchen.

Oh mountainous cheeseburger. He picked at it. Where our fates do collide... If you are half as tasty as yonder fair waitress, my tummy shall be much obliged.

Then he remembered that he'd been handling the boa constrictor earlier that morning and he should really wash his hands before eating. Besides, it was his custom to always inspect the cleanliness of the men's room before dining at an establishment.

"Hey man, don't let nobody eat my cheeseburger, I'll be right back," he said to Mr. Robert Woody-funk man.

Ziggy cruised toward the men's room. Weaving about in a sea of dinertopia. He was feeling euphoric from Cass's kiss.


Ludy's Kink Cafe Ch. 01



The "dicks" and "janes" rooms were in a small shadowy hall past the jukebox. He went in. The bathroom smelled like citrus and lysol. He bolted the stall door shut. It was clean. He sat down. Read the graffiti. It sayeth, "Make the Hula Girl Dance". He felt a long way from Hawaii. He didn't have to crap. He had to think.

Weird things happen in small towns. Maybe the whole town of Noplaceville was a bunch of inbred pervs. Tut tut. Who was he to judge?

Maybe he should stay the night at a motel and ask Cass to show him around. With any luck he might not need the motel room. He was ahead of schedule. He could afford himself a little fun.

Noplaceville. It was peculiar that he was unable to find the town on his road map. Rand & McNally did not officially acknowledge the existence of Noplaceville. He rather relished the idea of being in unchartered territory. Unless of course he'd drove into the twilight zone and this place didn't really exist. The queerness of its name did not escape him.

"O.k... so I'm in 'Noplaceville' and none of this is really happening," the cold porcelain under his thighs gave contrary testimony. The burger waiting on his plate protested his ludicrous hypothesis. Cass's kiss objected to his theory. His jitterbugging hormones were as real as can be.

He crushed his trusty one hitter into the box and sizzled up a pinch of hairy marijuana. A few hits of the green amped up his thoughts and sent him drifting in a zen haze.

"o.k... so aside from the weird name of the town, horny waitresses and the lunch-punch-jerk-off club, have I noticed anything else strange? Yes... the weird buzzing ticking roaring noise in my head. Radiation? Mind control? It could be psychic warfare. Is somebody trying to crack my brain-case?"

Ziggy sifted through his mind.

He smoked more pot.

He thought he remembered something in the Dischordia about time-energy transmutation being similar to a deep sea diver or mountain climber; something about the psychic adjustment to the time-space altitude. He should have studied harder. blah blah blah.

"Nobody seems to be leaving or coming or going. Nobody except that kid on the bike but he just keeps circling the diner like a little vulture... Wait a minute," behold a light-bulb, "time-loop. It's gotta be a time loop. Oh Ziggy-man, just what jar of cookies did you open? And even if you have stumbled into a quantum shit-storm, what's with the sleazy honies? Are these babes a manifestation of my own desires? Or is somebody else behind all this?"

He heard the centipedes start their march. A collapsing squeezing headache seized him. He was being sucked into the tunnel. He bent over and put his head between his legs to keep from passing out. Maybe the weed was making it worse.

"aaaaagggghhh.... What IS thiiiis!!?" He groaned against the deafening sonic rumble.

And then the tunnel collapsed in his brain and left the magic ringing sound.

"uuugghhhh..." Ziggy muttered miserably as he felt the blood pressure equalize in his skull.

"OH Fuck it! Fuck'n time-loops! Give me a freak'n break. The herb's got me paranoid. Maybe I should just lighten up and stop being such a paranoid whack-attack. Maybe this little wonderland is some kind of karmic pay out. I mean, I could wake up dead tomorrow. I'm probably having a fucking brain aneurysm," he thought as he stood up and reached down for his pants.

That's when he saw the little saddle shoed feet under the door.

"Well," Cass's voice echoed around the dimly lit men's room. "You gonna stay in there and play with that big dick of yours all day or are you gonna get a little lunch while it's still hot?" her sultry voice made him melt.

The stall door shrieked as he swung it open. Kahkis around his ankles. Warm dangling dong in hand. "o.k... you wanna play with Ziggy," he thought wickedly to himself, "come on and get it."

"WHAAA!!!" Ziggy jumped back in alarm and almost fell into the toilet.

Cass was not alone! There were three naked guys standing behind her! But they all had their backs turned to her. He couldn't see their faces since they were turned around but it only took a millisecond to realize that the three dudes were identical clones... of himself! Their little white hairy butts clenching and unclenching as they thrust their hips into their fists. The sound of their floggings making a whacka-whacka-whackatorium in the men's room.

"Ha ha. Not cool! Who's your friends?" he asked Cass nervously. His penis shriveled in his palm.

"Oh them. Don't worry about THEM. I mean, it's kinda sad, don't you think? Pretty good look'n girl right here. All they have to do is turn around and notice me. But they don't. So there they go...jerk'n off again. They must be happy I guess *sigh* Actually... it kinda makes me horny... I mean look at 'em. Pulling those big hard dicks. mmmmm..." Cass closed her eyes dreamily and shrugged her soft shoulders.

"How did you do that? Who are these guys? What's going on?" Ziggy was confused and becoming upset.

Cass giggled. "Hey, I don't know babe. It's YOUR fantasy."

"MY fantasy? MINE? I don't recall THIS fantasy? This is some kinda fuck'n trip. You put somthing in my coffee?" Ziggy stammered.

"yeah... sugar and innuendo... like you asked," Cass said innocently.

She dropped down to her knees on the tile floor and wove little magic spells in the air with her hands. Looking up at him with her mischievous big brown eyes, "Tell me you don't like strange things. C'mon. Don't be like that. So what are you gonna do Mr. Mumbo-Jumbo? You wanna turn around and jerk off like your friends here, or do you wanna take a big step forward and stick that cock in my mouth?"

This was too weird. Ziggy was certain he must be dreaming. Dream or not... this chic was hot and she was on her knees. Damn the jerky clones! Polish the knob!

He had very rapidly lost his erection when he saw the Ziggy clones. He wilted. They still made him a little uneasy so he tried not to look at them. He was scared to look at their faces. Afraid of getting in a staring contest with one of them. Uugghhhh... It creeped him out to think about it.

"Forget about them, they're hopeless, you're not like them at all," she reassured him as she grazed her fingernails over his tight scrotum. His exposed cock dangled in front of her pretty face.

"Actually I think we're quite similar," was he attempting a joke?

"Well, if you can get them to turn around and stop being so selfish, I'd suck you ALL off," she whispered as her mouth brushed his penis.

"holy Mumbo-Jumbowski... a party girl," Ziggy sighed and managed a little nervous laugh. He was still very wary of his identical twin brothers who pulled and twisted their cocks about her.

It was a very strange situation. But Ziggy closed his eyes and gave himself readily to Cass's coaxing mouth.

She wrapped her lips around his soft dong and sucked on it. She popped it out of her juicy mouth and collared it with her fingers. She waggled it over her lips.

"mmmm...yeaaahh...you like that. Don't you?" she loaded his meat fully in her mouth and began to make rhythmic throat gulps.

"whoooa..." Ziggy closed his eyes and imagined all four Ziggy cocks slapping her in the face. North. South. East. West.

Ziggy began to get hard. His member throbbed at her tugging. It swelled with her sucking and it pulsed with her generous licking. It grew in her mouth as she gulped and slobbered. Her pretty face buried between his hairy thighs. Her hands wrapped around the flanks of his ass.

The other Ziggy's gasped and huffed as they jerked themselves off.

She cruised over his stiffening dick. His veiny warm shaft, snuggled into the palm of her pulling hand. His balls rocked to her stroking rhythm.

"I love sucking dick. I'm such a little slut," she whispered from somewhere in his scrotum where she attempted and succeeded in sucking a nut into her horny slut mouth.

Ziggy handled his pulsing erection. It was slick with her spit. He pulled it away from her. A long drool stream connected her lower lip to his glistening pumped prick.

"Is this what you want?" he lowered it to her mouth and teased her with it. She nodded 'yes' with baby doll eyes.

"Want me to FEED it to you?" he suggested as he glided his cushy head over her luscious lips like it was some kind of man-stick lip balm.

"ooo..mmm-hmmm... pleeeeease, feed it to me," she gasped excitedly.

"Open wide....." he guided his cock between her lips. He felt Cass's warm mouth seal around his member.

"oh *gasp* your cock tastes sooooooo good," Cass moaned. She tongued his damp balls and kept going all the way up, up, up the underbelly of his shaft until she got to the top, whereupon she flickered her tongue menacingly over his sensitive purpley head.

The naked, masturbating look alikes spanked away. 

He groaned as her yearning lips kissed and plucked at his hot meaty shaft.

The Ziggy clones fantasized about getting sucked off in a men's room. Their arms pumped with gusto. Their shoulders hunched. Knees bent.

Cass bathed Ziggy's erection with her mouth. She was a skilled and eager little hummingbird. She HAD said she loved hummingbirds. His throbbing cock was wet and glistening with her drool. Her head bobbed up and down on his prick.

She sucked him to the hilt. Her hot little mouth worked him over. Wrapping her lips around the base and skinning her mean little teeth against his thick shaft, wet glossy lips trailing in tow. She used her tongue to flick and jab at his bobbing wet weenie. She swirled her tongue over his pulsing head.

Cass was a cock sucking slut. She loved to pull guys off inside her mouth. Feel them cumming down her throat.

She began to jerk him off while her mouth sealed around the head of his cock and suuuuuucked. Her throat made little gulping noises. Faster and faster she pulled his dog! The loose skin wrinkled forward and stretched back along the length of his shaft. Throating it! Twisting it! Sucking it! Beating his cock into a frenzy with her eager little mouth sucking and begging at the end of his nozzle.

*smack* *smack* *suck* *smack* *gulp* *suck* *suck* sounds echoed around the little bathroom.

The Ziggy clones picked up the pace and slapped themselves silly. Their hairy balls bouncing up and down.

Ziggy's hands prowled through Cass's tangled brunette hair. He clenched a fist of it. He bucked his white-boy hips. He fucked her face.

"yeahhh. get ready... here... it... CUUUHHHMMMZZZ!!!!"

The Ziggies all drew in an enormous breath of citrus lysol funk. Then all the Ziggies in the house cummed. They shuddered and let loose with groans and panting. They shot white ribbons of semen on the floor. The spurts landed in heavy splats on the cold tile.

But one happy Ziggy unloaded a spewing fountain of white jiz into Cassandra Lynn Clark's mouth. He crumpled and collapsed in on Cass's tugging and sucking. He shot white gobs of semen into Cass's moaning mouth. She shut her eyes as the first spurts began to hit the back of her throat. She gulped down wads of it. His balls pumped as she sucked, milking him like she was trying to suck an extra thick vanilla-malt through a straw.

Just as he thought his balls had heaved up their last spooge, she would suck out another wave as her throat opened to gulp down the load.

Ziggy's body shuddered. He was finally spent. The jerking Ziggy clones had vanished.

She popped his sucked-off sausage from her lips.

"ooooo holy fellatio," he wheezed "that was amazing."

She fixed herself in the mirror.

"Your lunch is getting cold," she left the door swinging behind her.

"Damn," Ziggy thought as he put himself back in his pants and washed his hands, "I didn't even need to buy five lunches for that."

He accidentally stepped in a puddle of Ziggy clone cum. He didn't know what to make of it. He had just received some of the best head of his up-until-now life. He could accept weirdness. He didn't need an explanation for everything. Embrace chaos. Embrace mystery. Embrace psychedelic kink. There was somthing bizarre going on here and he liked it. It excited him.

He splashed some water on his face and straightened his mojotastic fez hat in the mirror. Although his spirits were soaring and reeling with wonder and amazement, there was a twinge of self-preserving caution. (Fear? NAAAH!!! He would never admit to being afraid.)

"O.K. bigshot, just remember what a mess there was in New Orleans. That started out with some bawl'n good fun but then that voodoo priestess got vengeful and the organization felt compelled to call in that very unsavory fellow, Mr. Zaggy Ordinary, just to set shit straight. *tsk tsk* What a shame. Keep your wits about you Mr. Mumbo," he advised the handsome devil in the mirror.

--------------------------

PART 3

He assessed the situation as he swaggered from the men's room, "Current plan of action... go with the flow and milk this hoochie-coochie hot dog stand for all it's worth. Who knows, perhaps it's your very good fortune that you have fallen into the sluttiest cosmic wurm-hole in this space-time continuum. Embrace chaos. Fuck like it's Armageddon. Adventure calls to those who make the journey to Noplaceville."

He returned to his seat at the busy counter.

The mountain of cheeseburger was waiting for him. It was the biggest, juiciest, most vibrant cheeseburger he'd ever seen in his life. His tummy growled.

He wrapped his fingers around it's girth and sunk his teeth into it.

Cheezy greasy goodness! It dripped from his lips; tingling tastebud bliss coursed through his senses. Cheeseburgers from heaven. Let the bubbles fly! Let the waitresses bend over! Hail Mumbo Jumbo!

An old man at the front door rustled his newspaper and looked around wildly.

"Day poot a widdle naykid gur el onna cheese booga! Day poot it onna yer cheezey booga!" he shouted wildly. His tongue snaked around his wrinkled lips in a lewd way. His eyes were buggy. The man was shaking a gnarled fist and yelling at Ziggy.

"WHAT?!" Ziggy exclaimed half-laughing.

"I SAYED... day put a widdle naked gurl on yer cheeeeeeese burga. heh heh hehaa," his laugh was evil.

Ziggy lifted the bun. "What are you talking about?" Sure enough. There was a "widdle", tiny, naked girl sliding out from under a pickle. Her tiny thighs were smeared with ketchup and mustard. Her curly hair matted. Her little girl boobs were (quite literally) the size of mosquito bites. Her face was twisted in terror. She crab walked backward and slipped, falling on her butt in the melted cheese. *splat* She stretched out her tiny arms and flailed them. Ziggy observed the curious impulse to pick her up and suck the mustard from her dainty legs. A teeny-bopper appetizer.

"Don't eat me! Please! Please don't eat me!" her voice was so tiny he could barely hear it.

"Don't worry! I won't eat you... I won't eat you!" Ziggy stammered in awe as he pushed away his plate. Bewilderment! Astonishment!

"Wazza matter? You don't like it?!!" hairy Boris loomed over him.

"You think cheeseburger no good?!!" Boris winced and flexed. He popped his meaty knuckles.

"Oh, shit," muttered Ziggy. Note: Do not complain about the food.

He looked back at the burger. The little girl was gone. He lifted the burger. He searched the plate. Where did she go? He was losing it. Masturbating clones and now THIS?

"You better eat cheeseburger or you be in kitchen washing dishes with Boris! HA! HA! HA! HA!" his laugh was an eastern European gravel pit. 

Ziggy felt dizzy. Partly because he was high. Partly because he didn't think his mojo was capable of producing a hallucination so vivid as a little naked cheeseburger girl, whom at that moment he was desperately trying to locate.

"o.k.... no problem here, Boris. I'll eat it. It's good. Damn good. see... mmmm...(he took a small baby bite, feeling it with his tongue for an arm or leg before he bit down. There BETTER fucking well NOT be ANY little naked people in this burger!) mmmmm... yummy..." Poor Ziggy. Wild eyed. Clammy hands. Cold sweat.

There was a crash. Ziggy flinched.

A waitress toppled out of the kitchen, dumping a tray of food all over the tile floor. It was Cass. She lay there for a dizzying moment in the spilled dishes.

She got to her knees. Food was splashed up and down her arm. Food smeared across her shirt, down her skirt and legs. A noodle dangled from her nose. She flung it away.

Everyone in the diner turned and laughed at her. They were pointing and chuckling and jarring each other with elbows. Woody-funk man slapped his hand on the counter and gafawed.

The jukebox was bumping and hopping with a mean saxophone solo.

Cass was fighting back tears as Boris rushed over and grabbed her roughly by the arm.

"Clumsy stupid bitch! Now I make food all again!" Boris hauled her to her feet.

"What do you see in that clumsy little slut, anyway?" asked Ragina from behind the counter. She twirled a straw in her mouth.

Ziggy gave her a confused stare, "there was a little naked girl crawling in my cheeseburger," Ziggy was becoming an unhappy customer.

"Oh really? How interesting. Cass probably just fucked up your order. Typical. You like her, don't you?" Ragina toyed with him.

"Great! Now I'm gunna have to clean up that fuck'n mess," Johnny Bow-Tie griped as he reached for a mop.

"Let the silly ditz clean it up herself. Johnny, Cum 'ere," said Ragina as she twisted a curling finger in the air. Johnny's eyes turned to fire and he grabbed Ragina's slender waist from behind.

She lifted her waves of golden-grahms hair. He began kissing and rolling his tongue over the back of Ragina's long bare neck. Inhaling her perfume.

The jukebox blistered *dah da daaa da da daaaaa*!!!

"What?! No! Don't make me..." Cass whined as Boris twisted her arm.

"Yes! Take off clothes. Take off clothes now!" Boris shouted at her.

*da daaa da daaaaaa*!!

"Don't you think I'm sexy to?" Ragina asked Ziggy.

Johnny's hands reached around the front and began squeezing Ragina's tits together.

"Wanna watch me get fucked?" asked Ragina.

Ziggy's cock twitched in his khakis.

**The song ripping out of the jukebox turned a wicked drum solo!**

Cass began to timidly peel herself out of her food stained shirt. The drums beat savagely.

"Eat your cheeseburger like a good little boy. Keep your lips wrapped around your lunch and you can watch Johnny Bow-Tie fuck me right here at the lunch counter. Just keep eating that cheeseburger... or else..." Ragina purred as Johnny squirmed his tongue in her ear.

"Or else WHAT?" Ziggy had to know.

**The sax screamed!**

*SLAP!* Boris administered a lazy backhand to Cass's cheek. Knocking her back a few steps. Her arms were crossed around her bare breasts.

"Now! Take off skirt! Do it!" shouted Boris. The customers were watching and smiling with wagging tongues as Boris bullied her. They gathered around like a pack of wild dogs.

"Teach that little slut a lesson!"shouted a gray haired little old lady. The booth of teenage hormones were yelling for her to "take it all off!" A mean looking man suggested Boris give it to her up the ass.

Ziggy immediately pressed the cheeseburger to his mouth.

"okay okay...jeez..." he muttered through the bun.

**The song swerved into a slamming piano solo!**

Johnny pushed up Ragina's shirt. Her heaving tits were strapped tight in a kinky black bra. The tan lines around her breasts threatened to show themselves around the bra's lacy edges.

Mmmm....her toned stomach undulated rhythmically, her dark slit of a belly button winked as Johnny made grinding gyrations against Ragina's pert little ass.

She lifted her slender arms above her head and reached back to grab Johnny by the ears as he nibbled hungrily at her neck. Ragina's eyes were locked on Ziggy. Her cocksucking mouth open like one of those plaqued stuffed fish that hung above the dining room.




Ludy's Kink Cafe Ch. 01



"How are you doing this? Are you controlling these people? Don't these people see you?" Ziggy asked with a mouthful of cheeseburger and a rock hard cock in his pants.

"They see what they wanna see, they do what they want to do... it's not ME, (haughty laugh) Keep eating Mumbo Man!" Ragina gasped. Johnny popped her tits out of her lacy black bra. *gasp!*

**!!horns blasted from the jukebox!!**

Imagine peaches the size of pomegranates. Full. Buoyant. Luscious orbs. Raging Ragina had gorgeous tits. Lightly freckled like cinnamon over twin exotic cupcakes. Caramel rose aureole perked with succulent nubby nipples at the tips. Ziggy wanted to juggle and suck them sooooo bad.

**YOU GOTTA-GOTTA GETS IT IF YOU WANTS IT!!!** the song shouted.

Cass let her skirt fall around her curving legs. It landed in the spillage and broken dishes. The crowd leaned in closer.

**YOU GOTTA-GOTTA TAKE IT IF YOU NEEEEEDS IT!!!**

Boris loomed over her. He taunted her. She stood there defenseless, flinching, dressed only (in ascending order): a pair of saddle shoes, white bobby socks, a little girly-pink g-string, and paper hat. ooolala.

Cass's big pink nipples blushed. The blushing spread to her smallish boobs and prickled it's way all over her voluptuous naked body. Red faced and embarrassed, she squeezed her heavenly thighs together beneath her quivering panty-clad pussy.

**YOU MAKE ME WANNA MAKE ME WANNA....**

Ragina stretched forward and put both hands on either side of Ziggy's plate. Her tits swayed over the formica counter. Johnny pulled her skirt down over the arch of her wiggling fuckable ass.

"Everybody sees what they WANT to see. YOU see what YOU wanna see, keep eating that cheeseburger, eat it all up," sizzled Ragina.

Ziggy swallowed another glob of melted cheese and greasy meat.

Johnny pulled her black panties down around her tan thighs. Her pink slit tilted. She pitched her hips back to slobber her pussy against Johnny's filthy apron.

Ragina stripped out of her skirt and panties and spread her legs long and strong behind the counter. "...fuck me Johnny! fuck my pussy!" she demanded.

Ziggy melted to a shudder of bliss when he saw Ragina's bikini line against the light golden tan of her tummy and thighs. She had a well trimmed little cunt with whispy hazelnut curls. 

"Keep eating! Is this what you... wanna see..." she whispered.

**cymbals crashed** as the song ended.

"Oh Boris... Leave Cass alone you big bully," Sarah, the ravishing red-haired waitress, stepped up to Boris the hulk of all fry cooks, and gave him a shove. "Back to the kitchen! Go on ya big meanie!"

"It's o.k. Cass... C'mon." Sarah's long legs stepped sensually through the spilled lunch tray.

"I'll help you clean this up," She stretched out her arms to her.

An echoey 50's Shirelles type of song drifted from the jukebox.

**sha-bop-do-wop**

The two girls kissed. Their hands wove magic spells around each other. Sarah's long fingers pried Cass's naked body. Cupping her tits. Cass squeezed Sarah's skirted ass as they flickered each others tongues in their mouths. It reminded Ziggy of candied butterflies.

Ziggy's eyebrows lifted. So did his dick. He listlessly tore off another bite of cheeseburger.

Johnny unstrung his apron. He unzipped his fly. He produced a lean, long hard-on. It was pumping and throbbing like a street machine at a red light. It drooled from its hood ornament.

Ziggy masticated a bolus in his alimentary cavity.

"oh!" Ragina gasped and clutched with white knuckles at the counter as Johnny pressed the fleshy head of his dick against her teasing oozing cunt.

**sha-bop-do-wop**

Ziggy swallowed.

Cass ran her fingers through Sarah's frizzy red hair and pressed her tits into her face. Sarah sucked them eagerly with popping sounds. *mmmm...pop...ssshhhllup....mmmmm* Smattering kisses all over her chest.

Ziggy chewed.

**sha-bop-do-wop**

Johnny grabbed Ragina's slender hips and guided her back, sliding his pecker into a slick wedge of Ragina coochie.

Ragina tossed her head back and bit her glossy lip.

Johnny bucked out a rhythm. He slapped her ass. *SMACK!* Rocking his hips back and forth as he tossed her body forward over the counter and back along his shaft.

"yeah... oh fuck yeah..." Ragina whimpered.

**sha-bop-do-wop**

Ziggy tore off another bite.

Cass was working her hands under Sarah's skirt. Sarah stood bowlegged on her long skinny girl legs, humping against Cass's fondling hand. Squeezing and pinching at Cass's wobbling tits.

"mmm... You're such a goooood friend Cass, I want to help you clean up this bad mess, suuuuch good friends yeah," she panted as she prowled Cass's naked body with her mouth.

Ziggy swallowed the pickle that the little girl had crawled out from under.

Johnny made a low grunting sound. "Sick of always... *huff!* cleaning up after you *uhh!* fucking *uh!* bitches," Johnny gasped.

Johnny's face was turning red and tense as he shagged Ragina against the lunch counter. Her baby soft ass cheeks quivered and leaped under his control.

Ragina made little goin-for-a-ride noises "uh-uh-uh-uh-ya-uh-uh"

Ziggy chewed and gulped, savoring the raunchiest lunch he would ever have the pleasure of ingesting.

Cass moaned. Sarah gasped.

"You want Sarah to come take care of your little mess for you? You like that? huh? yeah?" Sarah's finger slid under Cass's panties and probed her pulsing twat.

The customers watched in rapture. A man with a thin moustache patted his knee with a lewd stare and Cass turned and sat her bubbly little tush on his lap. The man began to lick and kiss her between her shoulder blades, reaching his rough hands around the front to kneed her soft titties like dough.

Cass shimmied her hips back and forth like a goalie. She peeled her little pink soaking thong aside, offering her full dripping dark snatch to Sarah as she squirmed in the man's lap.

"play with me... play with my pussy..." Cass whispered.

Sarah gave her a feisty smile and dropped to her knees. She slapped her cunt. She pulled at her pink fleshy labia lips. Tugging and twisting.

The girls "ooo'ed" and "aaaaaw'ed" at each other like a couple cats meowing in a window.

Sarah dipped her lithe fingers in and out of Cass's oozing snatch. Her hand was a tarantula pulling apart a lotus flower.

Cass rode astride the man's lap as Sarah tunneled and probed between her thighs. Rolling her fingers around inside of her. Swirling and twirling. Wiggling little warm circles over Cass's vulva-bulb.

"Yeahhh... that's it, I'll make it aaaall better."

"yeahhhh... uh huh." Cass rode Sarah's hand as she gyrated and quivered in the man's lap. She felt her pussy stretch and yearn to be filled.

**The jukebox coughed up a Chuck Berryesqe rocker.** 

Meanwhile, back at the good ole lunch counter, "fuck yeah Johnny! harder! HARDER! oh...yeah...cum'on... cum'on," Ragina was peeling about as she received Johnny's fucking. Her long back stretched and slithered as she took Johnny's forceful humping.

Cass's mews of pleasure mixed with Ragina's cries of ecstasy.

The lunch counter was pounding and shaking. Ragina strained and arched her ass to take it deeper, undulating her hips with Johnny's thrusts. Tits bouncing over Ziggy's plate.

Ziggy chewed and chewed.

"oooOOOHHH GOD! OOOH YEAH!" Cass was peaking as she rolled her pelvis over Sarah's slapping wet hand. *smack*smack*smack*smack* Sarah was beating her fingers into Cass's fuck-hole while Cass rapidly fingered her own clit. Her smallish boobs bounced. Cass was driving straight over the edge of an orgasm.

"Sarah'll help you Cass *gasp* help you clean up this mess! *gasp* Look at this mess you bad girl!" Sarah scolded her.

Cass shuddered and let loose a bucking orgasm, half leaping out of the man's lap.

"OH! FUCK ME! YEAH! AAAAYYY!! UH! UH!! UUUUHhhhhhhhh" Cass wailed and shuddered. Sarah's hand kept digging between Cass's round white thighs. She flung her face into her splurting pussy. Cass grabbed the back of Sarah's head and ground her orgasm into her cunt sucking mouth. Sarah drank her down.

Ziggy swallowed his last bite. His cock throbbed, stretched, leaped in his trousers.

Johnny's eyes lit up and rolled back in his head as he plowed down on Ragina's wet gulping sex. His hot bull-furious balls slapped against her pussy.

Ragina: "do it Johnnnnieeeee.... oooooo... cum-in-side-me-ee..."

Johnny: "UH!+UH!+UH!+UH!+AAAAGGHHH!~~~~+++++"

**The guitar screeeeeeched**

Johnny's little red bow tie spun like the propeller of the Enola Gay. His hairy balls heaved. Thick ropes of Johnny Bow-Tie cum squizzled into Ragina Courtright's hot snatch as he compulsively plugged his long hairy dong into her... over and over. *squilch*squish*squilch* Gobs of snotty cum spat from the rims of her well fucked pussy.

The diner erupted into applause. The teenage boys began pounding on the table and chanting "Eat at Ludy's! Eat at Ludy's..."

"uhhh..." Ragina smiled wondrously like a little girl who just got off a joy ride.

The sex crazed waitresses of Ludy's Pancake House of Ill Repute gathered their things and skittled off to the little girl's room to fix themselves.

The patrons returned to their burgers and chicken and slaw.

--------------------------

PART 4

Ziggy slowly rotated around on his stool. He sat very still. It was the same Norman Rockwell jigsaw puzzle he walked into at least a half hour ago. The same old men coughing and reading newspapers. The same fat lady sucking down rolls.

Ziggy saw the boy in the green jacket pedal his bike by the front window again. Fucking time-loops.

Johnny Bow-Tie bussed a table.

Sarah scurried back into the dining room, giving Ziggy her crooked smile. *DANGER!* See how shyly and sultry Sarah struts. (It was a tongue twister that became a mantra.) See how shyly and sultry Sarah struts. See how shyly and sultry Sarah struts.

The fiery gazelle stood long legged before him and took off her glasses. She wiped them and pressed them back on her pretty squinty face. Her mesmerizing green eyes undressed him.

"You're staying for dessert, aren't you?" she asked him, turning to avoid looking him in the eyes. Fumbling shyly with the serving tray under her arm.

"Cass is kinda upset right now. So... I'm taking over for her. She's a sweetie but she's not a great waitress," Sarah's voice was like warm Laffy-Taffy.

"so... I hope you left room for some dessert... did ya?" she stuck out a long leg and teasingly lifted her skirt an inch or two.

Ziggy's hormones surged. Wolves howled in his loins. Then they sat up and begged. Then they rolled over and went and got the morning newspaper and dropped it at Sarah's feet. Good boys.

"mmmm... dessert? oh yeah. Plenty of room. I'm a very BIG eater. You wouldn't know it would you? It's metabolism. I've got a metabolism that's in sync with my appetite," Ziggy babbled.

"kay... well wanna hear your choices?" she giggled. She had the cutest little girl voice. He was a prisoner to her flirting green eyes. Galileo's model began to break apart. The world began to spin around Sarah's coyly turned knee.

"kay....what's for dessert?" Ziggy closed his eyes and jumped.

"I'd recommend the pie," Sarah said as she pressed a delicate girl finger to his lips.

"I thought you might say that," he muttered against her long pointed finger.

"We have cherry," she pushed her finger into his mouth. Her nail was long and sharp.

"We have apple," he wrapped his lips around her twisting digit.

"We have lemon meringue..." She wagged her finger back and forth over his tongue.

"how abou wong wegged red heads amed Sharah?" Ziggy mumbled. She pulled her finger from his sucking mouth. *pop*

"Oh my gosh! You mean..." her eyes were wide with mock surprise. She pulled her skirt higher up her long skinny thighs.

"You mean... this..." and she lifted her skirt and apron to show Ziggy her pussy. Thank you very much, she wore no panties. Holy sacred pink yoni! A completely smooth shaven pussy.

There are some women who possess a vagina which is so Venus DiMilo that words like "cunt" and "snatch" become too vulgar and primitive to describe its form; too crude and barbaric to slip inside such a sweet pink little muff. Sarah Michelle O'Mally had one such vagina.

Sarah's vagina sang like a caged bird. It dripped honey like a bee hive. And when aroused with sexual pleasure, it blossomed like a lotus and there, under the moonlight, a king bullfrog sat upon the lotus of her twat. Tweet-tweet. Buzz-buzz. Ribbit Ribbit... Ommmmmm. 

"yeahhh... that. I'll have a slice a'that," Ziggy blubbered. Drool drool.

"oh, I don't know if you'll like it," she teased and dropped her skirt back over her thighs.

"Why not gimmie a little taste and let's see..." Ziggy coaxed.

"Well, maybe we should ask somebody else what they think of it." She squinted her eyes and wrinkled her sharp little freckled nose.

The silverware clanked as Johnny Bow-Tie threw it in the plastic tub.

"Oh Mr. Robert," she sang "Would you mind tasting my pie for this gentleman and let him know if you would recommend it?"

Woody-funk man blinked his beady eyes at her very thoughtfully.

"Not at all miss," he snickered.

Sarah lifted her skirt *peek-a-boo* and parted her spindly legs a little. Woody-funk man leaned over and pressed his chapped lips against the pink trill of flesh between her thighs. His tongue darted out and flicked it a few times before he slid a long savoring lap up the middle.

Then he turned to Ziggy and said, "It's gooood. Very good. Be better with a little whip cream. Hey, did you get a punch card? You know if you..."

Ragina flew by and handed Sarah a can of whip cream like a baton in a relay race.

"Well then, you heard the man. Whip cream it is," she blasted a mound of foam between her legs *ssshhhhlllleeeppp*

"ooo..." Sarah squealed, "It's cold!"

Johnny wiped the last crumb off the table and Sarah sat down on the edge of it. She leaned back on her elbows and pulled her skirt all the way up to her tummy. Rocking her whip creamed crotch at Ziggy as a matador taunts a bull.

"OH! You CAN'T forget THIS," Ragina rushed up and plopped a ruby red Maraschino cherry on Sarah's foamy mound. "Bon Appeteit, Mr. Mumbo," Ragina gave Ziggy her icy stare and twirled a long lock of blonde sunshine as she whisked away.

"Thanx sweetie," Sarah giggled. She spread her creamy lithe thighs wide and bounced them a little impatiently. "mmmm... looks gooooood huh?"

Ziggy spun off his lunch counter stool. He rolled his tongue around his gums to warm up his chops.

Consider: How does one eat a dessert such as this? One savors. One licks. One does not gobble. Even though every impulse in your body may be telling you to wrap your mouth around the entire shlopping pie and stick your tongue out and brrrrrrrrrrrr with maniac fury... you don't.

So he didn't. Instead, he smoothed his hands over her soft inner thighs, prying them apart. Testing the bounce and stretch of her ligaments. Her dangling feet lifted an inch higher. She bit her lip in anticipation.

He remembered the little girl he plucked from his cheeseburger "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!" Ziggy winced and pushed it out of his mind. There better NOT be ANY little naked PEOPLE hiding under that whip cream! He decided to take his chances.

His mouth hovered over her creamed crotch. His face basked in the damp, warm effluence radiating between her legs. His olfactory senses sorted through the molecules of pressurized dairy product and found a tiny pink molecule of Sarah's crotch odor (the nose reported it to be pleasantly tangy with a hint of summer-melon). He traced his fingers over her lower extremities as he tuned the dials of her body energies.

He plucked the cherry with his supple lips and savored its sweet juiciness when he smashed it in his molars.

"yeeeaaahhh..." Sarah whispered, "eat my cherry..." Oh, her crooked smile.

The whip cream had already begun to melt as it deflated on her cozy coochie. Milky dribblettes pooled in the crease between her thighs and her crotch. Some spilled into the narrow crack of her ass and began to leak drops on the table.

He licked a dribble on the left side of her puffed little pie. He snaked up a dribble on the right side. She quivered.

He stuck his tongue in the pile of foam and curled it back into his mouth like a whip cream eating chameleon.

"Do you like it?" she swung a long leg over his shoulder and wrapped his head in the crook of her leg. Her hard little saddle shoe dug between his shoulder blades.

"I don't know yet, I haven't got to the candy center," he blubbered.

Then she pulled him face first into her pie with her strategically wrapped leg.

"Well get to it," she gasped. Her pointed breasts heaved as Ziggy mashed his face into the sloppy mess. His nose sank in the white foam. It spread over his cheeks like shaving cream. He swirled his tongue around and around and around. The whip cream was becoming quite tangy as it mixed with her natural juices. It was starting to taste like mayonnaise. Yum. Mayo... the forgotten aphrodisiac.

Rushes of heat pulsed through Sarah's body as Ziggy wrapped his lips around her twat and sucked the foam and flesh into his warm, slurping mouth. Again he wrapped his mouth around her mound and pulled his firm lips across her valley to Zamboni away the whip cream.

"ooooo---mmmmm," Sarah cooed. She melted. She felt the snap of his lips pulling apart her pussy. His tongue rooting round in the folds.

Ziggy swirled the last of the whip cream in his mouth and swallowed it. He pressed up her thighs with his hands and hovered back to admire his work on her now licked clean vagina. It was flushed a deep dove beating pink. It glistened with the sticky residue left by the cream. Her wrinkled pink stripe pulsed as it leaked hooey-gooey ambrosia. Behold, the candy center.

By lifting and pressing back her legs, he tilted her way back, until her ass was rolling uphill and her crotch was star-ward.

The tip of his tongue touched the pink whirl of her asshole (coated in a thin film of whipped dairy product) then he slowly slid it up her sweet creamy groove. A teasing shallow rut but when he reached the top of her slit....

His lips grappled the petals of her fleshy flower. His mouth wrested the glimmering bud of her clit. He trenched his tongue through her slit, rooting out her tulip bulb, and when he found it, again and again he would swirl his slathering tongue over it, digging it up and burying it, digging it up and burying it.

He made her clit sing. He coaxed it into juicing electrical impulses through Sarah's body. Her flame-tastic red hair brightened in its coils like an electric stove-top.

She writhed on the table making little baby animal noises.

Ziggy massaged the juicy peels of her labia.

His hungry-as-fuck eyes glared up at her. Her hungry-as-fuck eyes peered down at him.

"yeah oh yeah. fuck ya sweetie. fuck ya." she repeated dreamily.

She was holding something back and he wanted to suck it out of her.

She grabbed her right thigh and lifted her leg back to give him better access. He peeled apart her pink pussy with his fingers in victory salute and slithered his tongue into her tangy precious fuck hole.

"mmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMM" she was feeling it now! Sarah began to grind her throbalicious twat into Ziggy's face. Feeling his tongue dip into the kiddie pool of her pussy. Splashing. Making motor boat bubbles.

"Sarah, I want you to cum baby. I want you to cum in my mouth... cum for me," Ziggy coaxed from the pink wriggling depths of young Miss O'Mally's coochie.

He seized her slender hips as if to say, "Here, let me drive". And then floored the gas pedal. He hoisted and rolled her around on his face. His tongue lashed at her tender folds with furious abandon.




Ludy's Kink Cafe Ch. 01



He was Sherman burning the fields. He was on an unstoppable munch to the sea. Nothing went untouched by his fury. His teeth grazed and bit her exhausted labia. His tongue wiggled up her ass. It slithered into the gooey burrow of her pussy. It piqued at her angry buzzing clit. 

"mmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnoooOOOOOOOOO!!!" Sarah shook her frizzy red hair in great tantrums. She bit her quivering lip in restraint. 

"EEEEEAAAHHHHH!!!" her cry was more animal than human.

"EEEAH!---EEAH!!!mmmmmmm..."

Her bright eyes were pinched shut. The flood gates of her jade palace burst open.

*SMAT!*SPLAT!*SQUISH!*SQUELCH!*

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" the little tart screamed like a banshee.

Then her hairless slimy dick slapped him in the side of his face. *SPLAT!* "It nearly poked my eye out," as he would later relate the tale to the Superfly Chief.

Shock and surprise do not accurately sum up Ziggy's reaction to the realization that Sarah had very suddenly sprouted a fully erect boyish throbbing penis. It wiggled and jabbed at his face. Purpley pulsing mushroom head. Sarah's wild (and some would say embarrassing) screams filled the diner.

"UUUUGGGGFFFFF--AH-MUUUHhh! uh MUUUH!!! DON'T STOP NOW!!! SHHH--AH-DON'T STOP NOW!!!" She bucked her slender hips and thrust her hairless man-tool at him. (Perhaps this was the lotus squatting King Bullfrog that the author eluded to earlier.)

It could've been the incredibly odd events of the day, it could've been that Ludy's was an especially inviting place that gave its customers a certain sense of liberation. It could have been that this gorgeous bucking babe of sexual fury was just about to have an explosive orgasm that would register as volcanic, and it was up to Ziggy to bring the magma to the surface.

It could've been one of a million and one things or it was all of the million and one things acting in concert together that tore away the frayed t-shirt of gender identity and caused Ziggy to stick that fucking bitch's dick in his mouth.

He smothered it with his mouth and wrapped his lips around all unnatural phallusness. He jammed her skinny chic-dick into his cheek. He coated it with his tongue. And in moments Mount Sarah was erupting. He gagged as she forced her unholy lingham down the back of his throat and painted his tonsils. Her fingernails tore into his scalp as loads and loads of cum pumped down his gulping throat. He was drowning. He swallowed with fury just to keep her spooge from erupting through his nose. Her long legs folded him into her thrusting pecker. It zipped back and forth in his mouth and then she collapsed in a dead weight on the table.

Ziggy untangled himself from her limp limbs and gasped for air.

"How's that for a candy center?" she muttered under a mass of curly red hair, slowly stirring her jaunty body to life.

"Better than a fly in your soup I suppose," Ziggy refused to feel victimized or tricked by her. Oh contraire, he felt giddy and wicked. In a moment of passion, he had violated his own code of ethics and for that he gave himself a gold star.

She was the hottest genital morphing hermaphrodite he'd ever had the pleasure of blowing. Well, o.k., the only one. But he was so fucking horny at the moment that he would've bent over and took her mystery dong in the ass if that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, she liked it.

He thought about how much fun it'd be to 69 her. Or maybe a little sword play. He had a vision of her skinny pale cock rubbing up against his thick hairy one. The friction of two sticks rubbing together. Shame shame, everybody knows your name. Yeah, he could dig this freaky sweetie.

Whoa, get a grip man! Earth to Ziggy. He wasn't sure how far he wanted her to expand his horizons. Maybe there are some things best left in Ludy's grease traps.

"You're an A-1 customer Mr. Mumbo," Sarah straightened her waitress uniform. She wiped her glasses and pushed them back on her pretty squinty face and hopped to her feet.

Ziggy slumped down in a chair. Dazed. His cock throbbed and ached. His balls cried for relief and he told his anatomy to shut-up and sit down for a minute.

Sarah tore a few napkins from the holder and wiped Ziggy's face for him.

"Embrace chaos," Ziggy said more to himself than to her.

"hmmm... that was fun but I gotta get back to work sweetie," She smattered him with a kiss on his forehead and gave him a coupon for a free dinner buffet.

Ziggy sat staring out the window. He could still taste her tingly jiz in his mouth. The boy in the green jacket rode by on his bike. He squirmed to adjust his package. Fuck. He was half-alive and horny as hell.

Cass crept up behind him. And wrapped her arm around his neck. She whispered in his ear, "When Boris leaves to take out the trash, meet me in Ludy's office. I wanna quit this horrible job and I want you to fuck me on his desk. He can consider that my resignation." She playfully bit his earlobe and went back to work.

"Sweet lolitas of paradise," Ziggy murmured under his breath.

He leaned back in his seat and smoothed his finger over a salt shaker, meditatively rubbing it like a magic lamp as the minutes ticked by.

He observed Ragina, Sarah, and Cass flitting about the diner. Flirting, laughing, smiling, pawing, teasing. A tilt of the hip. A brush of the hand. He rubbed the magic salt shaker and made a wish to fuck all three of them at the same time. What a glutton. Libido increases appetite. 

When he saw Boris hauling garbage sacks out the back door, he got to his feet.

--------------------------

PART 5

Ziggy did not pass GO. He did not collect two-hundred dollars. He did not hesitate nor look around as he stealthily moved through the kitchen. Employees only, fuck you.

He headed straight to the door with the frosted glass window. Turned the knob. Stepped inside. Shut the door. And then resumed breathing.

He was alone in Ludy's office. Well well. What have we here? Ziggy perused Ludy's mess.

Years of accumulated softball and bowling league trophies, pool league championship cups, and first-place cook off trophies all glittered on high upon yonder shelf.

He staggered backward and laughed when he saw the little desk. It hunkered down next to the linoleum floor and tried to hide underneath the scattered papers. Why so small?

She wanted him to fuck her on a kiddie-table? He made little humping motions over it. Actually, it was just about the right height (if he bent his knees a little).

A computer screen saver flashed boobies and burgers. They melted and morphed into each other endlessly. So goes the universe.

He turned his attention to a metal filing cabinet decorated in full regalia of kitschy magnets (Eat at Ludy's). Each brightly colored magnet held up a Polaroid picture.

Hubba Hubba. Ludy's waitresses gone wild. Each photo was of a gorgeous young honey with a caption listing a town and state.

A latino cutie with dark nipples and long black hair (Neverwuz, Nevada). A killer tattooed goth-girl with nipple rings (Gonnagen, New Jersey). A curly haired vixen in nothing but a scarf, stocking cap, and fuzzy snow-boots (Nowhereton, Alaska). An ebony seductress with her long chocolate legs spread wide (Eskaypsmee, Mississippi). And on and on and on.

"Ludy, you dog..."

Ludy's Cafe was a mother fucking franchise. Hooter's, kiss my grits.

And what have we here? Noplaceville, Wisconsin. It was a photo of Sarah, the red-headed gazelle, in her birthday suit, slurping a milk shake (sans magic ding-dong). He pulled the photo off the cabinet. And over here... Raging Ragina sporting thigh highs and Cass looking lovely with a foot-long hotdog betwixt her pouty lips. He tucked away their photos in his jacket pocket and began to hum "To All the Girls I've Loved Before".

There were a couple other girls from Noplaceville that he didn't recognize. Night shift waitresses perhaps? Mmmmm... he liked what he saw. He'd definitely have to come back and use his dinner buffet coupon. What the hell. He pocketed their pictures as well. "I'm glad they came along... I dedicate this song..." Soon he would wake up and find this had all been a dream. But if only... oh, if only he could keep the pictures as souvenirs. Hee-hee-ha!

"Now what else of interest can I lift while I'm here?" he asked himself impishly.

The paneled walls hosted a fleet of framed color photos. Who was this midget with the leering fat face? Always wearing a white suit and ten gallon hat. Who was this half-pint cowboy? Here he was surrounded by a group of scantly clad bikini gals in a hot-tub. Here he was shaking hands with important business men. Here he was proudly holding a freshly caught fish (almost as big as him). 

Who's miniature desk and chair was sitting empty at this moment, you ask? Rosscoe J.J. Ludy. The four foot tall (five with his hat on) King of Cafe Kink.

"Well that certainly explains why this bulletin board is hung so low," Ziggy mused as he scanned the photocopies and maps, scrawled with red marker. 

Then he spied, amongst a stack of stationery and three ring binders, a little souvenir bobble-head hula girl smiling up at him. 

"Aloha," he said cheekily, "Now here's something I can amuse myself with until my date for the prom arrives."

What was taking Cass so long anyway? He was starting to get nervous prowling around the little big man's office.

Just as he was reaching for the plastic hula-girl, Raging Ragina Courtright, the sexiest bitch in Noplaceville, stormed into the office. She slammed the door shut and locked it with a little *click*.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him,"What are you doing in here?!"

"I'm waiting for Cass. In case you didn't hear, you're gonna be short-handed around here. I'm helping her turn in her resignation. She's hanging up her apron," explained Ziggy.

"Oh REALLY? (amused laugh) Cass isn't going anywhere and neither are you," seethed Ragina as she wrapped a hand around the back of his neck.

"Oh REALLY?" Ziggy mocked as he grabbed her waist and pulled her close.

She slid her other hand between his legs and grabbed his wad. Pulsing little squeezes. Coaxing his testicles into the palm of her hand.

Ziggy's hands climbed under her skirt and squeezed her pert little panty clad butt.

She pushed him against the desk. Her grip tightened. She squeezed painfully.

"Ouch! Hey... take it easy," Ziggy grimaced. He clutched her skirt in his fists.

Her tenacious grip on his package was igniting two fires in his lower extremities. One pleasure and one pain.

"You know, you're not as cool as you think you are," she told him flatly. His testicles boiled in her grip. It made his stomach ache. He squeezed her arms and tried to pry her away.

"Is that soooo..." Ziggy said in a Mickey Mouse falsetto.

"Yeah... I think you get confused about things," her pretty face was twisted and angry. Ziggy's balls throbbed and ached.

He converted the pain into a surge of fuck rutting lust. He fought back. He grabbed her shirt and began to twist it up. Feeling her torso sliding around inside the black satiny fabric. Her tits rolling against his chest.

Ragina squeezed her fist around Ziggy's wad like she was making fuck'n orange juice.

"AAHHH!!! FUCK!!" Ziggy yelped and writhed in her mean little grip.

"I think you try to do tooooooo many THINGS at once. Try'n to be...*uuuh!*... to many places at the same time!" she muttered as her other hand began wrestling with his belt buckle.

He didn't know what she was talking about. She wasn't making sense!

Ziggy grabbed Ragina's mean little psycho bitch face and slapped his tongue against her lips. She refused to open her mouth. She turned her head with a squeal.

She had his pants undone. He had her skirt pulled down around her firm thighs.

Ziggy squeezed her hot body against his. Long strands of blonde hair were in his mouth.

Her hand snaked inside his underwear and she mashed her palm against his sweaty cock and balls. She licked a big wet smear over the side of his face. He bit her neck. She bit him back. He bit her. She bit him. Their teeth were gnashing and chomping at each other's necks and shoulders as their hands wrestled, tangled, slapped, pushed and pulled. Ziggy wasn't sure if she wanted to fuck or fight.

He grabbed her slender wrist with one hand and her throat with the other.

"Enough. Let go of my fucking balls right now. I'm not kidding!" he gasped.

"no," she said like a spoiled little brat. She spat in his face.

"YES!" his voice shook with anger as he squeezed his grip around her throat. She responded by pressing the palm of her clutched hand harder into his meaty groin. Her spittle dribbled into his eye.

"*ugh* no," she choked. Ragina's face was turning red as Ziggy pressed his thumb harder into her windpipe. The aching in his balls was wrenching his guts. He felt light headed.

Fuck this! He was sick of this little game. He wrapped a leg behind her and swung her to the floor. They twisted and fell in each other's tangled grasp. Papers flew off the desk. 

Kneeling, he had her in a headlock. Ragina's legs were bound by her skirt that was stretched around her thighs.

"FINE! You don't wanna play nice... You wanna be a mean little slut? Fine! I'll treat you like that, you little bitch."

He grabbed her shirt and yanked it up her back. They wrestled around on their knees. He pulled her shirt over her head, she swung around wildly until her arms slid out of the sleeves.

She raised a mean little girly fist to hit him and he grabbed her arms and forced her against the desk. He slammed her down on the little desktop.

*BOOM*

"OWWW! FUCK!" she yelled.

Ziggy grabbed her little blue skirt and yanked. Her firm, tan legs flew up in the air as he tore her skirt off her.

"Leave me alone!" she sat up on the desk. She looked so fucking hot sitting there on the desk, wearing nothing but her kinky black panties,bra and saddle shoes. Ziggy wanted to chase her around the room. He wanted to rip her clothes off and devour her.

He grabbed her shoulders and forced her back down on the desk. He was climbing over her kicking, struggling body. His hands roamed wherever they pleased.

"uuuhhhh!!! uh! get off me! I'm gonna fucking scream!" she groaned.

"Shut up!" he demanded as he tore her bra straps off her rolling shoulders. He knew she wasn't going to scream. He knew she wanted this. Peeling her bra cups off her heaving tits and mashing his mouth over her bobbling bare breasts.

Her nipples were pert little buds throbbing in his mouth. "Yeah... you like that *suck* don't you? little slut!"

He sandwiched her on the desk. Her bare back writhed on the crumpled papers. He forced open her legs and slid his hand into her panties. His fingers combed through her wispy pubic hair. Kneading his fingers through her musky pussy. He knew she wanted this. Feel how wet and loose she is. Little slut.

"noooo.... please noooo..." she whimpered. Her voice had changed. Her body stopped struggling and seemed more receptive to his wriggling hand.

He looked up and saw Cass's doll face under locks of tangled brown hair.

Cass?!! Hadn't he just seconds ago, been wrestling around on the desk with Ragina? But now it was Cass that was panting on the desk with spread legs. It was Cass's little pink twat that he was fingering with such gusto.

They kissed. He felt her grind her pussy against his hand. Now she was really getting into it. She reached between his legs and grabbed for his cock.

"Hey! Watch it with the grabbing," Ziggy jumped.

Sarah looked as surprised as Ziggy.

"What's a matter sweetie? I'm not gonna bite you," she laughed and flashed him her charming crooked smile. She shook back her fiery red hair and stretched out on the desk, spreading her legs wide.

"Don't look so surprised sweetie," cooed Sarah.

"Didn't you want to fuck all three of us," Cass asked.

"at the same time?" sneered Ragina.

Ziggy, not for the first time that day, was amazed. Who was the naked girl perched on Ludy's little desk? Was it Ragina? Sarah? Cass?

It was like somebody kept splicing a filmstrip. The girls kept strobing and flickering back and forth. Like shuffling a deck of nudy playing cards.

Ragina gave a cruel little giggle. She swung her feet as she straddled him at the edge of the desk.

She tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulders and leaned back, sticking out her breasts and swaying them teasingly, "What's wrong? Don't tell me you've lost your appetite!"

Ziggy slid down his pants. His slobbering erection wagged between her bare thighs.

"Ya know..." he grabbed her arms and jerked her off the desk.

"I've had enough of your games today," he forcefully rolled her over on the desk. He bent the little slut over.

"I very well may be completely losing my fucking mind," he pulled down her panties and smacked her little round ass.

Climbing over her, he breathed heavily in her ear, "but right now, the only thing I can think about is burying my cock in you," Ziggy wedged his hand between her legs and began to finger fuck her while he pinned her to the desk with his other arm. Her pussy was so wet and loose and ready to be fucked.

"I need this. I'm gonna fuck you soooo hard," he forced open her legs.

Then Ziggy fucked her. He fucked her furiously with freaky fick-fack fuck. Earlier, he had watched a trinity of himself beat off as she sucked his cock. Then he watched her get banged by a chic and fucked by a dude while he ate a cheeseburger without little naked girls on it. Then he ate her pussy so magnificently that she got a hard-on. So, he sucked her dick. Pretty crazy day, eh? What was going on here?

He was shagging a chic on a midget's desk. One moment it was Sarah's slim, white mooned butt-cake arching up to take his full shlong in her little pinkity-muffy-woo, the next moment it was Ragina's firm, clenched ass galloping beneath him, then it was suddenly Cass's sweet bouncing butt that he was slapping.

Later he would tell the Superfly Chief: "It felt like I was in some kind of virtual reality porn program and some hacker kept hitting the babe select button."

Sarah was a shouter and screamer. Cass was a gasp and whimper sorta gal. Ragina was a catty hiss and spit lass that liked to talk nasty to him. "Yeah, fuck me! oh yeah fuck my little bitch pussy! Fuck! -uh- Me! -uh- Harder! you fucking cock bastard son of a bitch! -uh-"

He remembered seeing her blonde/bruenette/red hair falling over her bare back and shoulders as he pumped his cock in her from behind.

She was tight. She was loose. She was sloppy frothy wet. She would clench her cunt and try to squeeze him deeper as she rode his thrusts.

The girl(s) took a pounding from Ziggy's fuck rocket. As they neared climax, the girls switched on and off more rapidly. The moment he plugged her twat with a heaving splume of cum, there was a flutter of all three girls.

When the surges of orgasm finally stopped, he slid his cock out of Cass's pussy.

Ragina and Sarah were kneeling on either side of him and they promptly took to cleaning his dick with their eager mouths. Ziggy reached down with his left hand and ran a tangled mess of red curls through his fingers. He reached down with his right and stroked her blonde silky strands. He watched Cass roll over with smug satisfaction smeared on her baby doll face.

"You know I'd stay under one condition," she smirked.

"What's that?" Ziggy asked as Ragina passed his cock to Sarah.

"Stay with us. Here... and work at Ludy's. Ludy is out of town alot and we could really use a new manager for the Wisconsin location. You could be our big boss man," she cooed as she spread her coochie and showed him her pink orifice, leaking his pearly fluid. She pumped a secret muscle that Ziggy will never know about and a gob of his jiz spilled out on Ludy's desk.




Ludy's Kink Cafe Ch. 01



"Well... I have to say that your proposal sounds very appealing," he felt stupid.

"Application's right here," Cass thrust a piece of paper at him.

"C'mon, aren't you curious about what goes on here? Only way to find out... is to sign up with the team," Sarah giggled as she got to her feet and began to dress.

"Whatever... he's just a pig like all the other manager's *mmmm* but he's a gorgeously hung delicious pig," Ragina stuffed his slowly deflating cock back in her mouth and slapped it around with her tongue.

"Yeah, not like that last manager. Gawd! Ol' wee-wee dink!" Cass giggled.

"C'mon you two. Let's get outta here before the boss gets back," said Sarah.

Sarah tied her apron and fixed her hat. She unlocked the office door and before she left she smiled her crooked smile and said ever so innocently, "Oh, did you hear? Ludy's adding SNAKE to the menu."

Ragina spat Ziggy's cock out of her mouth, "Boa Burgers," she said matter of factly. Then she spat on Ziggy's junk just to add a dash of insult to her favor. Ragina Courtright, you mean little slut.

Ziggy froze and added it all up in his head. That's when he knew it was all a trap. A trick.

The nymphs had stolen Hugo Long. He hurriedly dressed himself as his eyes darted about the office.

"What's your rush?" Cass asked as she pulled her shirt over her head.

Ziggy began to frantically tear the maps and photocopies from the bulletin board.

"What are you doing?!" Cass's big brown eyes stared in amazement.

Ziggy flung open a desk drawer. A compact disc, a set of keys, a little black book. Yes. Yes. He stuffed them all in his pockets. They would not pull one over on Ziggy Odyssey. He'd get to the bottom of this.

Ragina was fastening her bra, "HEY! You can't take that!"

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?!" Cass cried.

Ziggy began to sing a little song, "gimmie gimmie my snake back. I want my snake back." He violated another desk drawer.

"Cass, go get Boris!" Ragina yelled as she attacked Ziggy. They rolled on the floor kicking legs and flailing arms.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Cass screamed.

Ziggy rolled on top of Ragina and pinned her and spit in her face. "Take that you little bitch! You like it, huh?!"

"You fucking asshole! You don't know who you're fucking with!" she shrieked.

"WHY are you doooing this?!" Cass began to cry and wring her hands.

"BORIS! BORIS HELP! GET THIS MOTHER FUCKER OFF ME!!" Ragina screamed.

Ziggy looked up and saw the little bobble head hula girl laughing at him. Aloha.

Boris grabbed the biggest, sharpest, meanest meat cleaver in the state of Wisconsin and thundered toward the office.

As Ziggy grabbed the hula girl, Ragina pulled at his leg. There was a little sticker on the base of the bobble-head doll. "Mumbo Jumbo, Inc. compliments of The SuPeRfLy ChIeF".

Thanks Chief. I owe ya.

"En Graffita we trust. Hail Mumbo Jumbo," he said in his best Leonard Nemoy voice. He began to gyrate the little doll on her boingy spring.

Time and space began to warp and ripple.

Boris stumbled in the office doorway.

The building shook. The ground was rolling.

Boris lifted his mighty arm and clumsily let fly the meat cleaver. It whirled through space and ricocheted around the room before landing dead center in a poster of Ludy's face.

Space unfolded and turned itself inside out like a Chinese puzzle. The hula girl grew to colossal size. Her arms undulated like cosmic tropical breezes. Her hips were in planetary orbits. Her brightly colored garland of flowers wilted and each flower withered into a decapitated head. She turned into a monster and roared within the vacuum! It shattered everything. Her horrible arms ripped the tinker-toy molecular universe apart.

At first, when he woke up, Ziggy did not know where he was. When he saw the little plastic hula girl lying beside him, he began to remember. When he emptied his pockets of the Polaroids, papers, and what not, he remembered it all.

Everything was covered with dirt and dust. He thought the building blew up. But everything was gone. There were no people. He was alone and the office was empty except for an old filing cabinet. No pictures. No magnets.

He ran into the dining room. No pies. No dishes. No customers. The windows were dirty. No farmer bill bric-a-brac. No trophy fish. No juke box.

He burst out the front door and ran to his car. Hugo was gone. In the back seat was a twisted piece of driftwood with a note jabbed on it.

He had to get in contact with the librarian. If anybody would have some answers, she might. What did Ludy want with Hugo and how could he find this Ludy character now that he had set off the dimensional interrupter and brought the sock-hop to a grinding halt?

To be continued?

(And remember kids... all is fuck'n fair & fun in the fantasy room, but when you're gett'n it on for real... be sure to wear a condom!)