4 comments/ 32174 views/ 0 favorites Fleshy Headed Mutants By: jjsharshaw Monday, 6:32AM FBI Indoor Firing Range Bismarck, North Dakota FBI Special Agent Samantha Douglas purposefully rammed the magazine into her Glock 19 9mm pistol that she used as a backup piece, racked the slide chambering a round and then took aim at "center mass" of the paper target 21 feet away. With rapid, dispassionate, mechanical precision she sent all 17 rounds down range to the target. With the last round fired the Glock's slide locked back. Agent Douglas grabbed another magazine from her belt, rammed it home, thumbed the slide lock and squeezed off another 17 rounds. She laid her weapon on the table in front of her, took off her shooting glasses and punched the button to bring her target to her. She was holding the target up with both hands examining it. There were smallish holes, one in the head and the other in the chest of the silhouette target where all her 34 rounds had gone through. "That, Scully," said Special Agent Clarence Mulder, "is good enough to take home and put up on your fridge." Agent Douglas put down her target and turned on Special Agent Mulder, "I've told you repeatedly not to call me Scully. It's not my name." "And I've told you repeatedly, Agent Douglas," Agent Mulder said somewhat offended, "not to call me Mulder." Agent Douglas rolled her eyes in exasperation, "But Mulder is your name!" "Well, you could call me Bob. I would like that." Agent Douglas rapidly thought through her mind as to why she would call Special Agent Clarence Edward Mulder, "Bob." She couldn't think of any reason and then got intensely angry that she had even wasted the few seconds contemplating the question. "Clarence..." "Bob, please." Barely able to contain herself Agent Douglas took a deep breath and said, "...okay, Bob, what brings you down here so early?" "A case." Agent Douglas brightened, "There's been a bank robbery?" "Um, no." "A kidnapping?" "Sorry." "They're holding terrorists at the border?" "Well...in the loosest sense of the word "terrorist," you're getting warm." "Ohhhhh," Agent Douglas moaned as she put her face in her arms on the table of the range cubicle. No, damn it! she said to herself, she was going to serve out her tour here in the hinterlands and then apply to go back to Washington. She gathered her wits, squelched her anger and despair and stood up to face her partner, Clarence "Bob" Mulder - a middle aged man, originally from Nebraska, who was happier than a clam living in the God forsaken northern high plains. "What is it then...Bob?" "A sexual assault in Dunseith." "That's local jurisdiction," Agent Douglas felt the walls closing in on her. "It would be except that the alleged suspect is a trucker from Winnipeg and there are some special circumstances." Agent Douglas still looked despondent. "Oh, come on, Scul...er, Samantha, I told Caskey that we'd probably need to spend a few days in Winnipeg. He Okayed it." Clarence looked at the floor and scuffled an imaginary piece of dirt with his shoe, "Winnipeg isn't Washington or any of the big places on the East Coast you want to be but it isn't Bismarck, Minot or Grand Forks either." Samantha smiled. "Yeah, Bob, thanks. You're right, thanks for thinking of me. Hey, we'll be in a foreign country, right?" Samantha said, brightening. "Well, it is Manitoba in December." Clarence ventured sort of as a caveat. "Right. I'll get packed." ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 7:30AM Boardroom, Spahn & Co., Consultants, Ltd. Toronto A tall thin man in an Armani suit was pacing back and forth at the front of the room. He was clearly angry. "How...?" The tall thin man started to ask a question then stopped. He rubbed his forehead. "Woul...would you like some water, Mr. Spahn?" One of the people seated at the boardroom table stuttered. "No! I want to know how, in the name of all our gods, how you could let this happen?" There was silence. Dead silence. "Well?" Mr. Spahn glared at his staff. "Uh, sir?" "Yes," Spahn fixed his stare on a nervous looking man at the far end of the table, "uh, what's your designation?" "Torusini12 from Briggert Colony, sir. Here I am called Rodney Peoples, sir." "What is it, Peoples?" Spahn asked in irritation. "Well, uh, sir, I think I can explain some of what has happened." Peoples stopped speaking. Seconds passed. Spahn made a face and shrugged his shoulders, the universal body language for, "Well, get on with it." "Oh, yes. Well, sir, the Biometrics Research Group wanted to expand their fieldwork. They wanted to research the apparent attraction of African-American human males to red and blond haired American Anglo-Saxon women; you know, to see if it were a mutual attraction or if one group or the other was the dominant initiator. "I, uh, told the group leader that Research Central would have to approve the funding. The group leader asked me how long that would take. I told him since our telemetry link with the home world was down it could be a while. "He said, it wouldn't be a problem; he'd use 522 funding sources. I said okay and that's the last I thought of it until, uh, you brought the problem to our attention this morning. Sir." "So Peoples, do you know what the 522 sources were?" "Well, uh, sir, Biometrics had already been using 522 sources, principally what the natives know as "multi-level marketing" schemes via the Terran's global computer network. "So, uh, well, Biometrics did a little research and came up with a compound - purely a harmless mix of native herbs and simple organic compounds - that purported to extend the length and girth of a human male's penis by at least three inches in length and two inches in circumference. "Biometrics put it out on the global network and the results were astonishing. Money poured in. The group leader bought a new pickup truck and several of the group staff moved from homeless shelters and YMCA's to Canadian government low-income housing. Though, uh, those staffers who were living in psychiatric hospitals did not want to relocate. Apparently the food is pretty good in those places. Anyway, it was a boon to Biometrics. Uh, sir." Spahn glared at the assembled group. Incredible, absolutely astonishing. After a long while of letting his mind boggle at the moronic actions of his group Spahn asked, "Do any of you know what CZ76a is?" Peoples spoke up again. "Uh, sir, we're administrative and marketing staff. Biometrics is in Detroit this week doing some research." "I do." The voice was not nervous. It belonged to a man who had been standing at the back of the room. Spahn glared, "Your designation?" "Gladius Zarcon, home world. I'm with project security." "Zarcon, explain to these bleophs what CZ76a is please." "CZ76a is a derivative of CZ7beta. A Biometrics researcher on a mission to planet P12709MC discovered it. It's what started the war between the Condominium and the Star Empire of the Plicusine that P12709MC belongs to 125 standard revolutions ago." The administrative and marketing staff collectively gasped. They remembered the war. The Andal Condominium had lost a quarter of its space and nearly half its population in the war that lasted only two and a half standard periods before the Condominium sued - actually begged - for peace from the Plicusines. While Planet P12709MC was populated by a variant of Homo Sapiens, it was the only planet in the Plicusine Empire of Homo Sapiens. They were classed as an endangered species and under the protection of the Plicusine Fish and Wildlife Service. The Plicusines are of two principal species: The Plicutus - hyper-intelligent, giant crocodiles - and the Uru-sines, hyper-intelligent, 15 to 19 foot tall, four to seven thousand pound grizzly bears. The giant crocs are the philosophers, lawgivers and artists of the Empire. The giant grizzlies are the warrior caste. The Uru-sines take their position in society as warriors and defenders of the Empire with a zealous pride. When CZ76a was released on P12709MC, the Empire took great and immediate offense. But none of the assembled staff in the boardroom that morning could remember exactly what CZ76a did. Spahn said, "Very good, Zarcon." Then he fixed a malevolent stare on Peoples. "Peoples, CZ76a is loose on Earth." Another gasp followed by the ringing of Spahn's cell phone. Spahn took the call, spoke only a few words, frowned, swore in Andalian, ended the call and looked at his watch. "We'll reconvene at 10. We need to figure out how to stop this. We need to figure it out quickly. I've just been informed that there is a group of Uru-sines vacationing in the American Rockies. "Release of CZ76a is a treaty violation. If the bears get wind of this and report back to the Empire, the treaty of Bla'a'ta specifies that those immediately responsible will be eaten and the Condominium will become the property of Plicusine and us their slaves or food - whichever we are best suited for." ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 9:16AM Headquarters of Size Matters, LLC. Boissevain, Manitoba Warren Neilson was in a foul mood as he sat at his desk reading his email. What had Neilson is such a bad mood was a television program he had watched the night before: "Third Rock from the Sun." Neilson did not, as a rule, watch television and only went to movies when it was required as a prerequisite to sexual intercourse with his date. "Neilson!" Neilson snapped as he answered the phone. "Warren, hi, it's Karen. You sound in a bad mood. What's the problem, eh?" "Oh, hi Karen. I'm just in a bad mood, eh. Something I saw on TV last night." "Warren! That's wonderful that you're expanding yourself. What upset you?" "This show, it's designated a comedy. I didn't find anything amusing about it. "Third Rock from the Sun" is what it was called." "Oh, I just love "Third Rock," Warren. What upset you so, eh?" "All this talk about the 'big giant head.' I can't say more, Karen, okay, eh?" "Sure Warren," Karen dropped the subject and got down to her original purpose, the morning report. "Listen, the reason I called is that the morning figures are in. We sent 36 million emails out over night. I have point zero one percent as orders, 98 percent no response and the remainder are somewhat colorful threats and sexual propositions." "Excellent, Karen. So we have another $360,000 U.S. coming then?" "Yeah, give or take, eh." For a moment Neilson's foul mood fell away. The Research leader could get another pickup if he wanted. The prospect of money, large sums of money, eased Neilson's worries over whether the people on "Third Rock" were competing alien researchers or they were mocking the Andalian's fleshy heads of their mating proboscis - what these disgusting humans called penis or cock or, the most offensive name, to Neilson's sensibilities was the British term, "wanker." "Warren? Are you there, eh?" Karen's voice snapped Neilson back to reality. "Yeah, sure." "Can we meet sometime Warren? You know, maybe take in dinner and go to a movie, eh?" "And then," Neilson said with a tone of certainty, "something might develop, eh?" Karen giggled in that way peculiar to the people of the high plains, "Why Warren! Shame on you, eh! Hmmmm, something could develop if we wanted it to, eh." "I'd want it to, eh. I'll call you, eh?" "Sure Warren. I'll be waiting. Bye." "Bye, eh." Neilson hung up the phone, far happier than when the call started. He knew coupling with Karen would ruin her for any other man she would ever meet but the thought of her petite body and such huge breasts was more than he could stand. Neilson put his head back, rolled his eyes back and howled as his mating proboscis unleashed a torrent of his vital fluids, soaking his crotch and flooding his body with blinding pleasure. ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 10:30AM Boardroom, Spahn & Co., Consultants, Ltd. Toronto "So," Mr. Spahn fairly hissed, "anyone figured out why CZ76a is so dangerous? "Peoples?!" "Uh, well sir, I had to answer some emails after our first meeting so I haven't had anytime to do any research," Peoples quivered. Spahn starred at the administrative type and shook his head in bewildered disgust. A small, attractive woman spoke up. "Uh, sir. Mbemgna39, home world. They call me Mitzi here." Spahn arched his eyebrows, "You know?" "Yes, sir. "CZ76a causes indirect sterility in Homo Sapien males." "Very good...Mitzi. Define for your colleagues what 'indirect sterility' means." Spahn's voice dripped with contempt. "Indirect sterility was the term developed by the legal department in the wake of the Plicusine war to make what happened not sound so, um, negligent and freakish, to those who survived the war. "Males are not sterile but they are actually quite potent. The problem is that CZ76a increases the male sexual drive and concomitantly increases the female sexual drive." Rodney Peoples didn't think that sounded like such a bad thing. "The problem is that CZ76a causes only male sperm to fertilize the female ovum. Consequently, in a disproportionately rapid amount of time, relative to planetary birth and death rates, the ratio of males to females spikes in favor of the males, meaning that within a period of 100 standard revolutions or less, the planet is virtually infertile because no females are produced." "Very good, Mitzi. And why are the Plicusine so bothered by this turn of events?" "Because sir, within 200 standard revolutions, the Homo Sapien population die off since they have no ability to reproduce females." There was a collective gasp around the conference table. Spahn was agitatedly shaking his head, "You bet your ass people! If we don't stop this now we're going to be responsible for killing off another planet! Do you get it, Mr. Peoples?!" "Uh...yes sir," Rodney Peoples flinched. But then he asked a question. "But why is sexual drive so rapidly increased?" Spahn held out his hand to Mitzi. "Because sir, CZ76a causes a random genetic mutation. In some Homo Sapien males it simply does as advertised, it increases the size of the male penis. But the random mutation creates a penis that has a disproportionately large glans or head of the penis, relative to the shaft. And this head, at orgasm, injects small shafts into the female vagina that will cause repeated orgasms in the female over a 24 to 48 earth standard hour period. "Plus orgasm for the male is supremely enhanced. Consequently, males with this mutation become sexually addicted and want to copulate as much as possible and the females, experiencing copulation as never before, want the same. It can create social chaos. As the female population decreases, males will fight and kill each other in order to copulate with the available females." "And, Mitzi, what is the rate of the 'random' mutation?" Spahn asked. This was really going to shock these bleophs, he thought with some satisfaction. "Depending on planetary conditions and the gene pool, the random mutation can be as low as 1 in 5. Those conditions exist here so we can be safe in assuming that the mutation rate on earth will be 1 in 5." There was another collective gasp which pleased Mr. Spahn immensely. "So. We need to find these renegade researchers that unleashed this here, feed them to the damn bears and stop this CZ76a before it wipes out the planet and the Andal Condominium itself. "Now let's move! Mr. Zarcon will be in charge of the crisis. Until further notice, you all work directly for him." ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 3:52PM Dr. Ralph Pike's house Dunseith, North Dakota "Uh, she's in here," said Dr. Ralph Pike, M.D. Dr. Pike led Agents Mulder and Douglas to a large room at the end of a hallway. As they neared the room they could hear a woman crying; desperate, pleading, inconsolable and then, just as Dr. Pike opened the door, the cries turned to moans and shrieks of pleasure. When the doctor opened the door, the sight and smell was incredible. On a bed, bathed in sweat, lie a naked young woman, back arched, one hand pulling a nipple as hard as she could while she masturbated with the other hand. The room reeked of sex and sweat. The three stood at the door of the room, watching the woman writhe on her bed as Dr. Pike tried to brief the agents. "Damnedest thing I've ever seen in my 35 years of doctoring. By the way, in case you're wondering, I can't keep clothes or blankets on her. Her temperature is running between 101 and 102. "Anyway, Ernie Thompson, the district highway patrol trooper brought her here after he had processed the paperwork. She didn't appear to be have been raped in the classical sense." "Classical sense?" Agent Douglas asked. "Um, yeah, up here, rapes are few and far between, at least the ones that get reported. But there's a definite pattern. Usually the woman has been roughed up; black eyes, bruises, the like. And usually the prime suspects are high school seniors or truckers or an occasional Indian. All of them tend to get all liquored up, find a female, sometimes willing and sometimes not, and then act like an bull elk in rut. Real rough. "You're not from around here are you uh, Agent..." "Douglas. No, I'm from Manhattan." The old doctor smiled, "Know a couple of fine vets down at the veterinary school at K-State." "Uh, Dr. Pike, that's Manhattan, as in New York City not Kansas." The old doctor's smile went away, "Oh. Figures," he mumbled under his breath but then he went on, "Well, anyway, poor woman doesn't have a mark on her save for a hickey. "I had Ernie go pick up Mrs. Dalton, my nurse, and with Ernie and Mrs. Dalton as chaperons I did a pelvic on her. That was really the damnedest thing. "Didn't appear to be any trauma per se. There was the presence of semen. Copious amounts." "So she was gang raped?" agent Mulder asked. "No. No, the woman claims one man did her in his sleeper cab in about 20 minutes, give or take. But my God in heaven she was full to overflowing. "When I finally could see inside her after evacuating all that semen she looked like she was still aroused. She was all swollen and every few minutes there'd be strong vaginal contractions like she was having an orgasm. "I got a scope in there and looked very closely at her vaginal walls and her cervix. There were these little tiny soft barb like thingies stuck in her walls and the mouth of her cervix." Agent Douglas arched her eyebrows, "Thingies?" "Well, yeah. Sorta like bee stingers only soft. If I hadn't scoped her I would have never seen 'em." "Did you take them out?" "Well, yes and no. I took most of them out but I think I left the tip of them embedded in the flesh so I quit trying to get the rest out. "If she doesn't stop this caterwauling soon I imagine I'll need to have her airlifted to Minneapolis cause it's likely those little thingies stuck in her that's keeping her so uh, aroused." "Is she in pain?" Agent Mulder asked without taking his eyes off the writhing body of the young woman. "Um, Ginny, you in pain?" Doctor Pike called to his patient. "No doc but please god, make it stop; you gotta make it stop!" The doctor motioned the two agents close to him, "I know you heard her moaning and crying when you came in. She's not in any pain that I can tell but she's damn near exhausted from the continual, um, stimulation and in between orgasms I think she's a little desperate for it all to stop. Either that or she's desperate to have another orgasm. I can't bring myself to ask, if you must know. "Weird thing is, I've got enough sedatives in her that would make most people comatose by this point and they don't seem to phase her. I suppose I could get Sandy Franklin over and we could intubate the girl, put her on a vent and gork her." Fleshy Headed Mutants Agent Douglas hesitated. She had an idea of what the doctor was talking about but wasn't sure. "Uh, who's Sandy Franklin and what do you mean by 'gork'?" "Sandy's a certified registered nurse anesthetist and we could put the girl on a vent for breathing support then load her up with enough narcotics so she's definitely asleep. It's a pretty extreme option though. Aside from giving the girl some relief by making her sleep - gorking her - I don't know what it would accomplish." The agents looked serious and then, in their serious faces, looked at each other. "Agent Douglas, I think you should interview, um..." "Ginny Admonsen," Dr. Pike volunteered. "...and I'll wait here at the door in case you need me." Agent Mulder intoned. Agent Douglas eyed her partner who, through their entire time at Dr. Pike's, looked as if he were alternating between giddy adolescent sex fantasies and adult guilt. She'd let him off the hook and go interview the woman. "You stay here Bob. I'll call you in case I need you." "Good call, Samantha." Agent Mulder seemed relieved. "I'm Lutheran you know." Agent Douglas had already started into the room and toward Ms. Admonsen's bed when Bob made his religious pronouncement. She stopped and went back to him. She spoke low, "Uh, Bob, is there some pertinence to telling me your religion that I should know about?" "Well," Agent Mulder seemed embarrassed, "uh, you see, it's just, uh, sex and pleasure aren't really associated as a good combination for us Lutherans up here. And seeing Ms. Admonsen like she is, well, it's uh, unsettling. So I probably wouldn't be at my best interviewing her, with her heaving bosom, her sweaty thighs and all..." he let his voice trail off as he looked intently at his shoes. Agent Douglas starred at her partner and then blinked. She patted his arm in a kindly sort of way, like the way you pat someone's arm when they're sick with a terminal illness. "I'll call you if I need you and I, uh, appreciate you sharing your religious views with me." "Thanks, Sam. May I call you Sam?" Relief and gratitude flooded Agent Mulder's voice. "Sure, Bob," why not thought Agent Douglas. This was only some very, very weird dream she was having. That was all. She'd wake up eventually in her Washington, D.C., apartment, in her bed, the whole sordid, embarrassing episode that got her banished to North Dakota would never had happened, things would be back to normal and she'd have a good laugh. So, she thought, she'd go with the flow. She smiled sympathetically at her partner and then went to Ms. Admonsen's bedside. "Ms. Admonsen, my name is Samantha Douglas, I'm with the FBI and I'm here investigating your rape." Ginny Admonsen looked up at Agent Douglas. She put the finger that she had been masturbating with in her mouth, sucked it clean and then held out that hand to Agent Douglas to shake. Trying not to flinch and out of politeness, Agent Douglas took Ginny's hand and shook it quickly. "Pleased to meet you, ma'am." Ginny's hand went back to work. Agent Douglas looked at her own hand, the palm covered with sweat and Ginny's fluids and discretely reached for a tissue on the bedside table. "Uh, Ms. Admonsen..." Ginny interrupted. Her eyes dilated and her nostrils flared and she smiled. "When you find my guy, uh," she quickly corrected, "the bastard who did this to me," she didn't sound very convincing in her anger, "will you let me know?" "Well, uh, we'll need you to identify your attacker." "Great! Uh, I mean, great, I hope the bastard suffers." Agent Douglas started to ask a question when Ginny quickly and urgently whispered, "You know, Agent, I'm not into women but, uh, you know, you're not bad looking. We could do a little girl-on-girl. Bet you got nice tits under that business suit." Ginny winked at Agent Douglas. Agent Douglas was stunned. "Uh, thank you for the offer but federal regulations don't permit me to come while I'm on duty. Uh, we'll be in touch. Try to rest." And with that Agent Douglas retreated. Ginny called after her, "Well, when you're off duty, come find me, 'kay? I'll fuck you like you ain't never been fucked, honey. I'll rock your world. You got a sweet ass, anybody ever told you that?" Agent Douglas didn't respond, didn't turn around. She kept walking, her face burning with embarrassment. When she got to the door of the room the doctor had a bemused smile on his face and Agent Mulder looked, well, it was difficult to read his expression. "Forgot to mention, she's hornier that a three balled tom cat. Didn't know she liked women too." the doctor added dryly. "Did I just hear you tell that woman that the Federal government doesn't allow you to have an orgasm on duty?" Agent Mulder asked in an urgent whisper. "Is that actually in the field manual?" Agent Mulder wasn't taunting or joking, he was deadly serious. But Agent Douglas heard none of it. Agent Douglas glared - murderously - at her partner, "Not a single word about this Bob. Not a god damned word. Anyone so much as looks at me funny when we get back to the office and I'll have your brought up on sexual harassment charges." And she brushed past him on her way to the car. 12 years in the New York City Detective Bureau and FBI training at Quantico had never prepared for what had just happened. Something wasn't right here. ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 5:26 PM Headquarters of Size Matters, LLC. Boissevain, Manitoba Warren Neilson's day had started badly but now he was positively ecstatic. Just after lunch his email address capture program finished and he had another 43 million email addresses. Then he checked his off shore bank account and was very pleased by the account balance. Very pleased. Three truckloads of his product were headed south of the border. Another truckload was headed east to Toronto and Montreal. And a fourth truckload was headed to the FEDEX air terminal in Minneapolis for distribution to Europe. Things were going well. The only faint shadow on his day was that he had forgotten to call Karen. He was eager to mate with her. And though the thought of having to do dinner and a movie annoyed him, he would gladly go along with the Terran ritual in order to mate. Warren was about to realize how good his day was. The bell above the front door tinkled as someone came in. He got up to see who it was. Karen Olafson was leaning over the counter of the front office. Her large breasts were pressed against the counter and her cleavage was very purposefully prominent. Karen put on her best seductive smile, "Hi Warren. Hope you don't mind that I just popped up here. When you didn't call I thought I'd come, um, cheer you up." Warren was momentarily speechless though he managed a rather silly smile. His mating proboscis had already processed the visual information relayed from Warren's eyes and Warren was becoming light headed from the sudden loss of blood in his brain as his proboscis filled up. When the proboscis was full and ready and his blood pressure had stabilized he spoke. "Hi Karen, yeah, I'm glad to see you, eh. Sorry I didn't call. It's been kinda busy today. "Want to go to a movie?" Karen giggled. Warren was so transparent she thought and that turned her on. "Actually Warren," Karen said, playing with the ends of her long red hair, "I'll take pity on you. No movie. But I am starved," and she giggled again. With a straight face - Warren had only been on Earth for a few weeks and hadn't entirely acclimated to its culture - Warren said, "Gee, you don't look ill. Would dinner at the diner be sufficient or do you need medical attention, eh?" "Warren, silly, dinner at the diner will be fine. And after dinner, while things are, um, developing back at your motel room, we could watch a movie on cable." "They have movies inside the television in my room?" Karen laughed. Warren was so charming in a squirrelly sort of way. "Yes, Warren. Let's go eat." "Okay, eh. Give me a minute to lock up." Warren was a little bewildered but very happy. ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 9:30 PM "The Eat and Get Gas Diner and Convenience Store" Bossevain, Manitoba. Agent Samantha Douglas picked, despondently, at the remnants of the dinner special, "swiss steak." "Miss," she said to the waitress as the waitress refilled Agent Douglas' coffee cup, "uh, my steak tastes a little, um, odd." The waitress laughed, "It's good though, eh?" Agent Douglas politely wrinkled her nose, "Well, it's uh, certainly different than the beef I'm used to eating." "Beef?! That, miss, is free range elk. Meat locker had a special today." A trucker sitting in the booth behind Agent Douglas muttered to his dinner partner, just loud enough for Agent Douglas to hear, "Tommy McDermott ran that old bull over this morning with his rig. Free range, my ass, eh. Thing's been feeding off dumpsters since last spring. I bet the meat locker had a special." Agent Douglas felt queasy, "Uh, Thank you, yeah, it's very good." She pushed her plate away. Agent Mulder, engrossed in his own dinner looked up. "Mind if I have what's left of your steak? I love elk." Agent Douglas waved her hand in a gesture for Agent Mulder to take the leftovers and wondered if things could possibly get any worse. "We're not going to make it to Winnipeg are we Bob?" Agent Mulder looked up, enthusiastically chewing his elk, "Well," he took a sip of coffee, "uh, gee Sam, at least not tonight. "Trooper Thompson said the last lead he had on our rapist was that he was here in Bossevain and he got that lead from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And you know what they say about the RCMP, they always get their man. "So, we'll get a couple of rooms here tonight and, if our leads point to Winnipeg, hey, we're there with bells on." "Great." Agent Douglas was being sarcastic. Bitterly sarcastic. Agent Mulder missed the sarcasm because he was asking the waitress for a "to go" box for the elk. At the Bossevain Motor Court Agent Douglas regretted wondering back in the diner if things could get worse. Looking back on this case months later Samantha Douglas would realize at this point in the narrative she was in total free fall with regards to things getting worse and the bottom was still a long way down. Agent Douglas stayed in the car while Agent Mulder got their rooms. Agent Mulder got back in the car and he appeared to Agent Douglas as if something were wrong. "Bob. Bob, what is it? Do they really not have a vacancy tonight?" Actually, Agent Douglas was hopeful that this was the problem. She remembered seeing a much nicer motel down the road a few miles but Bob wanted to stay in town "just in case they caught a break in the case." Agent Mulder couldn't face his partner. "Well," he hesitated and then just spit it out, "no, they had a vacancy. We got the last room." It took a minute for Agent Mulder's statement about the last room to sink in to Agent Douglas. "Last room?! What in the hell do you mean last room?!" Agent Mulder, trying to deflect his partner's anger simply by ignoring it replied, "The upside to this is there are single beds in the room so neither of us have to sleep on the floor." And he started the car. Agent Douglas said nothing for a few seconds. Many violent scenarios were drifting through her mind and since she was convinced, now more than ever, that this was all some sort of bad dream, she thought it was okay to contemplate shooting her partner and leaving him in the car while she rested peacefully in her room. Just as they pulled up in front of the room Agent Douglas said, in a semi-menacing tone, "Bob, you should understand one thing." "What's that Sam?" "I can definitely kick your ass and most any man's ass in a fight. I can shoot better than you can and I'm a big fan of the National Football League. I've often fantasized about playing middle linebacker even though my body size and speed makes me better suited to the wide receiver position but I'm still a lady. And you know what Bob?" "Uh, what Sam?" "A lady never sleeps on the floor, no matter what the conditions. Understand?" "Crystal clear, Sam. Crystal clear. You are so right. And I think you could be a wonderful middle linebacker despite your size. Of course, you might consider free safety or punt returns." "Bob." "Let's get our bags and get inside." "Excellent idea." ~~~~~~~~~~ Monday, 10:30 PM Room 28, Bossevain Motor Court Bossevain, Manitoba "This is absolutely incredible, eh!" Warren Neilson marveled as Karen worked the TV remote. "I had no idea there were so many different things to watch." Karen was pleased. Warren looked and sounded like a kid on Christmas morning as she channel surfed. She thought he was putting on an act about not knowing he had more than the one channel that came on when he turned the set on. Warren sat on the edge of the king-sized bed in rapt fascination. "Oh, stop! Wait, I want to see this, eh." Karen stopped on "Animal Planet." It looked like a documentary on ferrets. "Okay. Warren. I'm going to get, you know, more comfortable, eh." And she kissed him on the cheek. Karen went to the bathroom, stripped out of her clothes and pulled an oversized tee shirt, her tooth brush, tooth paste and diaphragm from her bag. She pulled on the tee shirt - after checking out her large, full breasts in the mirror, tweaking the nipples to attention. She brushed and then she sat on the toilet to tinkle, whereupon she got engrossed in an article in a five year old "Ladies' Home Journal" that was in a rack by the toilet. An hour later Karen emerged from the bathroom ready to give herself body and soul to Warren. The room was dark when Karen emerged. Warren laid sprawled on his back on the bed, his shirt open. By the light of the TV it appeared as if he were smiling. The TV was now on Showtime and there was a Shannon Tweed movie playing. Karen was sorry she missed watching it with Warren. She loved masturbating with her oversized dildo while watching Shannon Tweed movies. And, she thought, watching the movie together would have made getting intimate with Warren easier for them both. But she got engrossed in an article on preparing holiday foods and missed the moment. Now Warren had fallen asleep. Actually, Warren hadn't fallen asleep. When the bad guy in the movie made Shannon bend over a fence rail at an overlook of L.A. and then mounted her, Warren's mating proboscis reacted swiftly. It filled with blood so quickly that Warren's blood pressure dropped and he passed out. This was not a normal thing for Andalan males but Warren was not a normal Andalan. Warren was the latest developer of CZ76a and since Andalans were almost indistinguishable from Homo Sapiens, Warren was prone to the same random genetic mutation as Terrans. And since Warren tested his product on himself, Warren was unlucky to have been that one in five to mutate. "Warren. Wake up." Karen knelt on the bed beside Warren and touched his face. Warren's eyes popped open and he abruptly sat up. "Are you comfortable yet, eh?" Karen held out her arms displaying her tee shirt and smiled broadly. "You betcha!" Karen pulled off her tee shirt and quickly lay on her back, knees up, legs spread and breasts giggling, "Come get me tiger!" Warren jumped up, stripped out of his shirt, unbuttoned his pants and took them off and then... Warren dropped his boxer shorts. His body was outlined in the light of the TV and what Karen saw made her gasp. "Wait a minute, Warren." Karen rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp. She gasped again and looked a bit frightened. "Karen, it's okay. Really. I just take Be Big Extra. You know, it's our biggest seller. It's got bull elk hormone extract." "Uh," Karen sounded hesitant and then guardedly enthusiastic, "Wow, our product does that, eh?" Warren responded proudly, "Yeah, sure." He moved toward Karen, his mating proboscis fully erect and jutting out from his body at about a 45 degree angle. "Touch it." Karen's apprehension returned. She'd never seen a cock like Warren's. The length did not concern her as much as the girth. It was huge. And she thought it looked kind of like a catfish, at least the head. The head was much larger than the shaft and had what appeared to be four whiskers, two on each side of the head. She reached to touch it and then hesitated. "It's okay Karen, eh. Really." "But, uh, Warren it's so big and, um, slimy. I don't think it will fit inside me." "It will fit just fine, eh. It's self lubricating, that's why it looks so slimy. It's the elk extract." "Self lubricating, eh? Wow." Her voice trailed off. Her mind was swirling between lust, curiosity and fear. "Now," Warren knelt on the bed and moved between Karen's thighs, "let me just slide it in, eh." ~~~~~~~~~~ Agent Douglas awoke to the rhythmic thumping of the headboard in room 28 against the wall and rolled her eyes. Why was this happening to her she wondered. She looked over at her partner who was sleeping like a rock. She put her pillow over her head which was of little good because the thumping was being translated directly to her headboard and she felt every bang. Minutes passed and Agent Douglas was becoming resigned to the sound and the thumping feeling. She was curious though. If this were a dream she should be able to see the action in the next room instead of just being annoyed by it. Oh well. But suddenly sounds were added to the thumping. The woman was moaning and whimpering. After a few minutes the volume increased then the woman's vocalizations stopped abruptly and the rhythmic thump of the headboard went from thump, thump, thump to thump (5 to 10 second interval) thump. Maybe the couple was done for the night. She hoped the woman got to come. She started to drift back to sleep. Agent Douglas sat bolt upright when she heard the first scream. There was dead silence for a few seconds after the scream. Then the headboard started thumping rapidly and the woman's voice was loud and unintelligible but had a pleading quality to it. Agent Douglas swung her legs out of bed, grabbed her sidearm and pushed on the sleeping form of her partner. "Bob! Wake up! I think there's a rape in progress in the next room!" Agent Mulder was immediately awake. His speed at getting out of bed and grabbing his gun surprised Agent Douglas. He was at the door of their room before she was. It was definitely not the way it appears in the movies and on TV. Agents Douglas and Mulder were standing on each side of the door to room 28, guns at the ready. That much was normal. But Agent Mulder was dressed only in his undershirt, blue boxer shorts and black dress socks. He had his gold FBI shield clipped to the waist band of his boxers. Agent Douglas was in a Kansas City Chiefs' football jersey that extended to mid-thigh and had the name and number of a linebacker on it. She was barefoot. "You know Bob," Agent Douglas hissed to her partner, "it just occurred to me that we aren't exactly on our home turf. Should we call for the Mounties?" Just then there was a piercing scream followed by an equally loud sighing moan and the thumping of the headboard could be clearly heard as well. "There's our answer Sam. I know the RCMP Superintendent in Winnipeg. He'll back our play." "Okay." Agent Samantha Douglas banged three times on the door of room 28. "United States Federal Agents! Open the door NOW!" There was only silence. "Do it again Sam." "United States Federal Agents! Open the door immediately!" Still no response. Agent "Bob" Mulder took two steps back and put his full weight into ramming the door. The door frame cracked, the door gave way and Agent Mulder fell inside. Fleshy Headed Mutants Warren Neilson promptly cracked Agent Mulder on the back of the head with a lamp and Agent Mulder hit the floor with a heavy thud. Warren hit Agent Douglas too but it only stunned her. He closed the door and carried her to the bed, threw her down on it beside Karen and was delighted to see that Agent Douglas was not wearing underpants. Agent Douglas came fully awake and alert when she felt something at the lips of her sex pushing in. She started to fight and then an incredible, inexplicable (to her) lust flooded her body and she shoved her pelvis up to meet the invading cock. (The lust really came from large pheromone glands at the base of Warren's mating proboscis that released a cloud of potent pheromones right before he started to mount Agent Douglas plus those already circulating in the air from his copulation with Karen.) Agent Douglas was a very attractive strawberry blond but lately - actually for the last two years - she had been celibate, not even allowing herself the pleasure of masturbation. As Warren's mutant mating proboscis slid fully inside her she closed her eyes and groaned from the indescribable pleasure of being filled like she had never remembered. Somewhere in the distance (even though Karen was lying so close to Agent Douglas their bodies were practically touching) she heard Karen giggle and say, "Enjoy the ride honey. You've never felt anything like this, eh." Agent Douglas threw her arms around the shoulders of her rapist and instinctively wrapped her legs around his back and locked her ankles together as he thrust into her madly. She imagined that she felt his cock extending deep into her belly. It was incredible, just incredible. Warren slid down Agent Douglas' body slightly and pulled her jersey up around her throat so he could suckle and pull on her breasts. She rubbed her hands in his hair as she felt the beginnings of an orgasm start to form. She heard Warren grunt, felt his cock expand inside her and then felt a warm liquid fullness inside her that overflowed out onto her thighs and down her ass. And then, right before her orgasm started, she felt many little pin pricks inside her and each pin prick seem to release an orgasm from where it was sticking her. Agent Douglas' eyes opened wide in astonishment. She screamed. She had never came this way before. Her body radiated intense, warm pleasure. After a few moments, Warren sat back between Agent Douglas' thighs, his proboscis still buried deep inside her - and still coming. He smiled as he watched Agent Douglas arch her back and belly as another wave of pleasure overtook her. When the wave had passed Agent Douglas looked at Warren for the first time. "I'm a United States Federal Agent and you," she panted, feeling the building of another orgasm and fighting the urge to laugh or reach for Warren to kiss him, "are under arrest for rape and assault of Federal agents and this woman laying beside me." The orgasm came. Warren said, "You didn't object, eh." Agent Douglas giggled and panted, "That's beside the point." Then she looked toward the door, a dazed, bemused smile on her face and lazily lifted a hand to point, "Is that a grizzly bear wearing clothes?" Warren looked where Agent Douglas was pointing and screamed in horror. Another blinding orgasm overtook Agent Douglas and then there was blackness. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Wednesday, 12:16 PM Isolation Ward, Bethesda Naval Medical Center Bethesda, Maryland Agent Samantha Douglas had been airlifted from Bossevain, Manitoba by a special U.S. Air Force rescue unit. She was in the isolation ward, on a ventilator, paralyzed and kept in an artificial coma by strong narcotics and muscle paralytics. "Sam, can you hear me? Sam?" It was the voice of her partner, Clarence Edward "Bob" Mulder. Agent Douglas opened her eyes, blinked. Bob's face came into focus. She slowly moved her head to the other side of the bed and saw what appeared to be a doctor and a nurse. The doctor spoke, "Agent Douglas, welcome back. We're going to take you off the ventilator. On the count of three I need you to breathe out as hard as you can. Okay?" Agent Douglas nodded. The doctor counted three and the nurse pulled the breathing tubed from Agent Douglas' throat. She coughed as the tube came out and then took a deep breath and coughed again. The doctor and nurse smiled. In a hoarse whisper Agent Douglas started to ask, "Wha...where am...?" The doctor smiled benevolently, "You're at Bethesda Naval Medical Center. You appear to be okay aside from your unfortunate sexual assault. Just rest for now and don't try to talk. We'll check on you in a few minutes." The doctor and nurse left. Agent Mulder stayed behind. Agent Douglas looked at her partner and found her voice and whispered, "Bob, what the hell happened to me?" "Well, they had to put you on the vent to, uh, calm you down. We found you out in the field across from the motel naked and you looked and acted pretty much like that woman in Dr. Pike's house. "I was told you looked like you were uh," Agent Mulder averted his eyes and blushed, "uh, having an orgasm about every two minutes. And after you vulgarly propositioned every member of the Air Force team that evacuated us, they put the breathing tube in your throat and put you under with drugs." "Bob, come closer please." Agent Mulder moved close next to Agent Douglas' head. She reached out and gently took hold of the front of his shirt. "Bob, um, I know I haven't been the best partner you've had but I need to ask a favor." "Ah, Sam, you weren't that bad for an Easterner. Go ahead and ask, partner." "Don't laugh, okay?" "Scout's honor." "Was...was there a bear in an Armani suit or was I hallucinating?" "Well, Sam, I don't know. You kept babbling about a bear - in between asking the Air Force team leader if he'd like to really fly and, uh, uh, 'ride you like a bitch whore in heat' - but I didn't come to until we were in the air so I don't know. And even then I had a concussion so things are a bit fuzzy for me." "Oh my god..." Agent Douglas hoarsely whispered. She suddenly remembered the rescue flight. And she could feel the first twinges of arousal. ~~~~~~~~~~ Epilogue Warren Neilson met a rather quick and, well, "grizzly" death. Gladius Zarcon of Andalan Security found the the Uru-sine's just north of Denver. They were not on vacation. A small band of Uru-sine troops had been sent to Earth when word had reached the Plicusine High Council that CZ76a may have been loosed on Earth. The Uru-sine team leader told Gladius Zarcon, "Confidentially, we were sent here to handle this so that Andal would not be found in material breach of the peace treaty because quite frankly, you Andalans taste a bit, uh, gamey and the treaty stipulates we'd have to eat some of you. No offense." Zarcon bowed to the team leader, "None taken. You really think we're gamey?" "I think it's all the mot'tal that you people eat. (Mot'tal is the Andalan equivalent of "free range" Terran elk.)" Zarcon shrugged, "Maybe you got a point." Together the Uru-sine team and Zarcon's team traced the CZ76a back to Bossevain. They destroyed the plant and office and then went looking for Warren. Warren's death was unfortunate. He was basically a nice guy, just a little nerdy. Well, okay, a lot nerdy and obsessed with sex, but he was well intentioned. He had no idea that what he had made was actually CZ76a but when he saw the grizzly bear in his room, dressed in what appeared to be a tailored Italian suit, he knew instinctively that the end was upon him. Zarcon's team erased Karen's memory and were in the process of erasing Agent Douglas' memory when the wail of multiple police car sirens, belonging to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, was heard in the distance. In the mad scramble to evacuate and with the motel guests now awake and standing outside their rooms, Agent Douglas was accidentally dropped in the field across from the motel where the choppers had landed. Karen Olafson, a fair skinned, red haired descendant of the Vikings, moved to Los Angeles where she became both the mother/priestess and whore to a black gang in South Central L.A. Though she enjoyed the attention of her virile acolytes/masters she had a strange longing for a cock that looked like a Missouri River bullhead catfish. FBI Special Agent Clarence Edward "Bob" Mulder returned to the Bismarck field office and retired the following year. He bought some land up near the Canadian border and started raising elk. He also wrote a book highly critical of the television program "The X-Files" entitled, "Don't Call Me Mulder." Agent Samantha Douglas, after extensive debriefing by the FBI, NSA, the CIA and NASA, requested and got a promotion and a transfer. She became the new Special Agent in Charge of the Organized Crime Task Force for New York. With her new position and resources, she was able to discretely find almost all the men who bought Be Big Extra from Warren. A 46 year old, nebbishy accountant living in Long Beach, Long Island, with his mother, bought a two year supply. He was a mutant of proportions greater than Warren (The mutation was permanent). After a whirlwind courtship Samantha proposed to him, he accepted, he moved out of his mother's house and they moved to Montauk. They had four sons together. Samantha's husband died seven years after their marriage from postural hypotension. While he and Samantha were having an erotic moment on the deck of their home, his sudden erection caused him to black out and he fell off the deck and hit his head on a landscaping stone. No one knew the reason but the winter after her husband died, FBI Assistant Deputy Director Samantha Douglas took a six week leave of absence and spent part of the winter in Bossevain, Manitoba. The Andalans got to do their research project that was the ultimate cause of this whole sordid incident. Their funding came from selling 153 million email addresses in their database to a multi level marketing company and a company that - with secret help from certain rogue Andalans - produced a pill guaranteed to increase a woman's breast size.