0 comments/ 7299 views/ 0 favorites her Heart Ch. 01 By: Teddybearsubmissive she awoke with a smile, today she would talk to Him, see Him. Her heart raced as she quietly lay in bed. her thoughts had been swamped with Him, everything about Him. The picture of Him lasted in her mind for hours. The conversations replayed in her head constantly. The desires coursed through her veins every time He came to mind. She thought about little else at times. Getting up, silently, she looked at the clock and groaned, twelve hours.... twelve hours before she was to meet Him. she wanted time to pass quickly, so she tried desperately not to think about Him, but her eyes danced over to look at the clock again, 11 hours and 59 minutes. her hands formed fists at her side. Standing up, she walked into the living room, after all laying in bed thinking about Him wouldn't get her very far. Sitting down on the couch, she brought her computer to her lap. she got online and hoped with unbelieving dreams that maybe, just maybe, He had sent her a message to tide her over. Logging onto the net, she waited with baited breath. Yahoo popped up and she signed in, waiting, always waiting, and hoping. The screen popped up, and she was signed in. her heart raced, looking, but nothing, no messages. her heart fell, and she felt the weight of hope crushing down on her. Sighing softly, she looked at the clock, 11 hours and 49 minutes. she had to do something to distract her mind, she was going insane. Looking around, she decided to log onto her favorite chat sight, Literotica. Smiling to herself, she chanted out the time... four o'clock, four o'clock, just wait for four o'clock. The site let her in on the first try, and she went to her favorite room, BDSM. she entered and looked at the user list and groaned. One of her "admirers" was there. This wasn't what she wanted, to talk to someone showing interest, when she was thinking about Him. she had been known to pop right back out at the sight of unwanted pests, but being brave, she stayed, greeting and being friendly. She waited and sure enough the admirer sent her a message. Being the nice and friendly sort, she replied and desperately tried to keep up a good conversation, but her heart wasn't in it. she looked into the room and found some relief, more people had joined. The talk in the room soon had her busy and the PM faded from her thoughts. she talked to friends and found out news, sympathized with things gone wrong, and clapped for things gone right. she answered the PM when spoken to, but otherwise left it alone. her desire and heart were not in the PM. They were off waiting for four o'clock. Suddenly, she heard the alarm going off, and looked at the clock, six am. She had survived two hours, only ten more to go. The talk dwindled down and she felt she might be able to go back to sleep, but her mind went swiftly to thoughts of Him. He was different, an unexplainable kind of different. When she first saw His name, she felt the thread of connection. she remembered times gone by when conversations had flowed in the room. she had always watched for His response if He was there, always wondered what He was thinking. she did her best to be involved in the discussion, hoping against all hope He would participate or respond to her comments. her heart would jump for joy when He always seemed to have something to say to her thoughts. The feeling singed through her mind and heart, but she kept it to herself. The power just a few words from Him had on her was overwhelming at times. Others came and went in the conversation, she paid attention, wanting, willing to learn. she read, learned and soaked up knowledge, hoping that one day, she would be better for herself. she wanted this for no one else, but the One she would find and herself. she did not wonder what others thought, she simply put her nose to the grindstone and learned. her visits to Literotica were often, always hoping to see Him, but often He was not there. There were others, Doms, males, idiots, that darkened her doorstep, wanting to know about her, but her eyes always sought the name of One. Many offers came her way, of interest and desire to get to know her, own her, collar her, but she never faltered, her answer was always, "NO!" Every time He would appear, her heart would race. she always fought the battle of whether to say hi to Him, always fearing others would know, in her greeting that she felt something. she greeted almost everyone that would pass through the room, but always she had to think about greeting Him. He was what she longed for, and because she longed for Him, He was unreachable. she never felt that approaching Him was her right. He was above her simply, lowly person. There was no way that He could feel the connection she did. When she did not greet Him, she would always wait to see, and always He did not disappoint, greeting her every time He came in the door. she never made the connection, never thought about the tiny things that made her heart beat out of her chest. she just always thought He was worthy of so much more than her. He always answered her questions, always gave her help, but still she knew He was above her. She accepted His help, she looked up everything He said, asked to make sure He was giving good thoughts. When she found, His answers to be sound, a smile always reached her face. She found friends in those around her, Doms and subs alike. There were those that were happy to see her, those that were just acquaintances, those she "clicked with", those she had fun with (not THAT kind of fun), and those she shared from her heart with. However, her desire and thoughts of Him were hers and hers alone. No one was told about her longings. This was a matter close to her heart, not to be shattered by foolishness of others, not to be wounded by other people's thoughtlessness. Then, one day, she was asking a question, hoping others would answer. she was thinking seriously about some issues that had come up more times than she cared to remember. One person answered in the entire room, and she was upset. Did they not take her seriously? she wanted to scream out her frustration, and then, He walked into the room. her heart stopped, it had been so long since she had seen Him. she went along with her tirade and said, only one person has answered, anyone else care to answer this serious question. He was there, asking what the question was. He did not fail her. His response got others responding, and she was smiling, learning, aching in pain. His thoughts and others brought more questions to her brain. she was soaking up the knowledge that she always craved. The conversation whittled down, but she was still thinking. she still needed answers. she waited and waited, thinking deep thoughts and finally, she asked in the room for a moment of His time. she waited, holding her breath, wondering if He would toss her aside and say no. she waited.... waited.... waited and nothing happened. He did not say a word, nothing. she felt the weight crush her. she tried to act nonchalant about it, saying she must have done something wrong, using His name, trying to find out if He had just missed her question, still nothing, no response. she sighed in her mind and went back to the conversation in the room. she would win over the pain that she felt at being ignored. she would win out over the battle to scream and cry in frustration. Then, amid the room's conversation, His name popped up. He said i'm back without the brb. she held her breath, maybe there was hope. Maybe He had left without seeing her question, and He had not been ignoring her. Getting up that frightening courage again, she typed in "so maybe You weren't ignoring me when i asked You a question." she waited... His response popped up on the screen, "Why would i ignore you?" A smile broke out across her face. she laughed outwardly and said, "i don't know, but You didn't answer." He simply asked, "What was the question?" she responded, "i asked for a moment of Your time, if it wouldn't be too much of a bother." His response had her smiling with secret pleasure, "Of course you may, I was not ignoring you, and it is not a bother." she slipped into His PM with a question, asking for His opinion on a subject she held dear to her heart. she sensed He knew she was seriously asking. she knew, for herself, she was asking for His opinion, because it was His opinion that mattered to her. He did not disappoint her, merely told her not to worry that all was fine. she sighed, relieved and thanked Him, thinking the conversation to be over. It wasn't. He kept the conversation going, and she was in pure delight. she talked through the smile lighting her face and the heart beating out a loud steady rhythm in her chest. she was talking to HIM!!! she squealed. The talk continued, on and on, she waited for Him to tell her to go away. she wanted to talk to Him for forever, but she waited, wondering when He would push her aside. she was shocked, He started flirting with her. her body felt all tingly. The blood that raced through her veins, simply poured out endorphins racing through her system. He was talking to her, not for mere seconds, not for mere minutes, but for hours. He flirted with her, teased her, talked seriously with her, started finding her weaknesses like no other ever had. He could see her pain and soothe her within seconds of awkward moments. The conversation flowed. Everyone knew He was talking to her, He made no secret about it, and she did her best not to care who knew or what they thought. He made remarks in the room about talking to her, and at times she would cringe but tried desperately to just enjoy. she wandered in and out of blissful oblivion for the six hours Tthey talked. And then, the time was over. He had to leave. she desperately tried to keep the disappointment from bringing her down. Even six hours was not enough. she craved more time in His presence, but she wished Him well and went on her own way, secretly remembering the entire conversation. The next day dawned bright and clear, as she puttered around the house, her thoughts would involuntarily fly to Him. she was strong, though, wanting to maintain the distance from this one talk to her heart. she did not want to get hurt. she would be strong and just remember the enjoyable time she had for six hours of one precious day. Once her chores were done and all was well around her, she logged online, entering once again into Literotica. she gasped, He was there. she squealed in delight, did a little mind dance and chanted, HE WAS THER, HE WAS THERE! He greeted her warmly and quickly. her heart raced. Tthey chatted in the room with each other and those around Tthem, and then a yellow appeared, apologizing for the intrusion, but asking if she was having trouble with a more forceful admirer. she told Him, all was well and that it was not an intrusion. He was welcome in her yellow any time. He thanked her, but the conversation did not continue. she wondered what she had done. she wanted desperately to talk with Him, and then she disappeared, she left with heart aching. Bringing control to herself, she resigned in and went to another room. she needed to breathe. Then, thinking she could handle it once again, she entered her "home". she simply sat quietly by watching the room, until again, He PMed her. The conversation took off again, and she was full of delight. she was afraid. Thinking in her head that He, even now, could hurt her, the thought frightened her. He had no idea the power He held in His hands. They talked for four hours that day, but then once again, He had to go. her heart reacted in a strange, a gut wrenching way. No matter how long she talked with Him, it was never long enough. she left with silent cries of anguish at having to leave Him. Tthey had only talked privately twice. How could she feel so much in such a short time? she felt the pain deep inside heart and reached for comfort. she thought and thought and realized, that although Tthey had only talked in private twice, that she had been connected to Him, secretly watching for Him from the first meeting Tthey had shared. Not even she had known that her heart had ached and watched, wanting to see Him in the room even if Tthey did not talk. her secret had been so safe, even she had not realized its full effect. her heart screamed in terror. she cared too much. she had to run away. she couldn't. The next day found her online again, looking, hoping to see Him. He wasn't there, so she signed off, not in the mood to chat with others. She looked around, read blogs, tried to keep her mind off her silent cries of fear and pain and yes, even loneliness. Then, thinking to try again, she logged back onto the site, hoping. she entered the Lounge and fixed her settings and then a yellow appeared on her screen. she looked, it was Him. He PMed her before she even got out of the Lounge. He was watching for her, He admitted it. she was so happy, the fear raced through her. As calmly as she could, she talked with Him, and talked with Him. Ttheir conversations never seemed to end or run dry. Tthey always seemed to have some thing to say. Tthey were patient with each other, almost too patient, waiting for what the other would say, Tthey talked about their thoughts and even desires from life. Tthey were different and yet so much alike. The connection sizzled under the surface, neither wanting to talk about it. Tthey carried on Ttheir conversation for a new record, 10 hours, and still, life dragged Him away. she wanted more, craved more even with 10 hours. her fear was real. she set up a time to talk with Him the next day, a small gift of knowledge, hope and looking forward while having to part ways. The next day, she was there, simply waiting for Him, and waiting, and waiting. she waited for three hours, an hour before the set time, the hour of the set time and an hour after the set time. Three long, lonely, hurting hours, she waited. her heart ached and silent tears poured out of her soul. she felt loss, betrayed, hurt beyond words. she waited for some word, some thing from Him through another source of communication. Nothing!! The days passed, one simply weaving into another. her heart ached every time she thought of it. He hadn't shown up. she had waited for three hours for Him, and He hadn't shown. Had she wasted those 20 hours over those three days? Had she been the only one to feel the connection? Each day passed and her hurt turned to anger at times. She wanted Him there, wanted to beat Him down for playing with her, but her mind fought with it. she also wanted to hug Him and spend time with Him. she hated her weakness, her searching for Him over and over again while she chatted with others. During that week, she asked around about Him, talking to those who knew Him, finding out what kind of person He was. she sent Him a message, sent Him her thoughts, trying desperately not to appear desperate, not to appear hurt or attached. she felt she was a total failure. she had allowed herself to feel for someone that was willing to crush her heart. And then, one day, He was there. she was cold to Him, not wanting to fall for His charm, or the feelings inside her. she tried her best to be polite but keep a distance. He knew that she felt this way. He could feel her resistance to Him, admitted it, but He explained what happened and said He wanted to talk to her, but the circumstances were out of His control. she asked if it would be another week before she heard from Him again. His reply, "If you think that, you have another thing coming." she smiled in anticipation. she always tried to be understanding about life and the things that just popped up, so without too much trouble, she said ok. He had to leave again, but Tthey set up a time to meet the next day. she tried to not be excited. she tried to act nonchalantly. she told Him, she would try to be there, when in her heart, she knew she would not miss it. The next day arrived, and she tried desperately not to be excited, but she was. she couldn't help it. He had something that others hadn't had. she logged onto the site and waited, and waited, and waited......... nothing. He never showed up. she waited for an hour and a half, and nothing. she logged off the sight and felt her heart rip in two. her soul cried tears of pain and anguish. He was playing her. she knew she could not take any more. she tried to forget about Him, but with every day, every log in, she looked. she looked for His name. He was not there. she cried out for help from her friends, some answered, others didn't. The ones who answered were wise, but had the answers she hated to hear. she knew they were right, but how to move on when her heart was hurting, lost, aching. she wanted to hear from Him. she wanted Him to answer for the pain, to hear her cry out and rake the coals of pain upon Him, and yet, she couldn't. she cared too much. There was no way she could hurt Him the way He had her. she cared too much. her pain was her own, to deal with, to struggle through, to heal from. she fought with it, struggled, hurt and cried out for Him to hear her. He didn't. Those around her didn't know the pain she felt. she let them know and think it was over, gone, past. she was fine, no problems. Then, desperately, she became good friends with someone. she poured her heart, her tender hurting heart into the friendship. The "friend" used it, used her, abused her tender, aching heart until her strength was gone. she no longer cared. she wanted to disappear. she didn't want to talk to any other admirers. They would never match up to what He was in her mind. she hid from friend and foe alike, banishing the "friend" who had sucked all her strength from her body. she was a pitiful shell of a body. her arms wrapped around herself, holding herself as the pain ripped through her heart and soul, quietly, alone. The few friends who sought her out, meant well, but the pain radiated through her body. she fought the desire to give up, fought to hold on to her sanity. she tried to heal to move on, to regain her strength, and she made a good show of it, but in her heart she knew she hadn't. It was a show for the others to see. she felt and saw herself withdrawing from friends. she felt the gates closing in around her heart, locking out the feelings, the tenderness, the very depth of who she was. her body ached with need to be held, to be cared for. she turned to other things, searching to find some peace, some healing. she did not want this pain, this pure agony to control her. she felt how fragile, how small she really was. she thought herself strong, but she was weak. As she struggled to build up her strength and keep the walls down, she put on a brave face. Those around her were fooled by her brave show, mostly. Those who knew her well, could feel the tension, the barriers built around her. she was not herself. she was a mere shell of the person she had thought she was. Time passed, and she pushed everything to the back of her mind. Two weeks went by, and she thought she could start moving past the pain slowly, but then late one night, unable to sleep, she got up and went to her computer. Logging online, doing various things, she went to check her messages. There was one. she opened it... it was from Him. she cried out, beating her fists against anything. NOOOOOOOO!!!! i was finally getting somewhere. With fear and pain in her mind, she opened the message. she read it. Simply, it stated that He was busy, but she was in His thoughts. she laughed, she cried, she screamed in her head. she sought to find the stable bearing she had been fighting for. How could He? The moment she felt she could go on, He finally got in touch with her. It was cruel fate to see it. her mind went blank. she could not deal with it. she chose to forget about the message, move on for a few days. It didn't work. her thoughts constantly strayed to Him, to His message. The pain was back, a gaping wound in her heart. He had no idea. Did He not care that His words, His games, His vanishing had cost her more than even she could admit to. she had given part of herself to Him without realizing it. she had in part of her mind and part of her heart, already been His. His to hold, to treasure, to lead, to guide, to protect, she had in many ways already opened up to be His. she waited and waited, leaving a small message on His doorstep but choosing to forget the rest. A week passed and her thoughts strayed often to Him. her Heart Ch. 01 she realized deep inside of her soul, that nothing ventured, nothing gained. she cared. she wanted. she had to choose if He was worth it. she asked herself if He even knew how she felt. Sitting down at the computer a week later, she began to type. The words flowed from her finger tips and her heart. she would only share so much. There was no need to go in depth with her hurt. she reached out to Him because her caring and tender heart begged her to. she had to give it one more chance, because she cared. No One would ever be Him, no One ever could. she sent the message and waited. Sighing softly to herself, she stood up from the chair, moving her computer off her lap. These thoughts were making her restless. They were pounding at her mind constantly. she grabbed a bowl of cereal and began to eat trying to not think about Him and this road she had been traveling. she looked at the clock, an hour had passed, nine hours to go. her thoughts traveled back to where she had left off. A week passed with no word from Him. she just moved on with her life knowing that if He didn't contact her in any way, that it was over. she would not allow her troubled and caring heart to reach out to Him again. It was His last and final chance. It was a Tuesday, bright and clear. she had plans for the day, but the plans were cancelled. So, settling in her chair at home, she logged onto Literotica. she hadn't expected to see anyone at that time of day, but when she entered the room, she looked at the user list. He was there. her breathing stopped. her heart stopped. she had no idea what to do. He greeted her. Time stood still for a moment. He said He had been hoping she would be on today. her mind didn't want to function. she greeted Him while trying to keep ice in her veins. she would NOT react to His presence. she knew He could tell. He could sense her mood, her ice. she quietly asked if He had gotten her message. "Yes, just today," was His response. she felt some of the chill leave, but she gathered her strength to combat the slight thaw. she knew, even with all her bravery, she was lost. her heart had sped up at the sight of His name. her ice veins were only for show. she wanted to talk with Him, craved it. she had missed Him to the depths of her soul. The pain had not gone away, but her caring was always able to over take her anger and pain. she tried to be strong, to fight the pull, the allure that He had, but she failed. she succeeded only for a short time to keep Him at arms length. People in the room felt the hurt, the pain, the emotion. she felt terrible for bringing it all out in front of others, but she wanted in some way to bring Him down a notch. she could not destroy Him by being mean. she could not rage and rant at Him. she respected Him too much to even try to be a spiteful, vengeful creature. she was not that person. That type of person was not inside of her. her heart simply ached. she apologized in the room to those who felt uncomfortable, and then, she PMed Him. He was open to her, wanting to talk to her, to at least be friends. she could not fight the desires in her heart for long. she did not read Him the riot act. she did not tell Him to f*** off. she simply listened to Him, her heart aching and caring at the same time. she gathered that He was surprised at her response. she did not set out to hurt Him to rake the claws down His chest and back. she simply talked with Him, allowing at times some of the pain, the hurt to show forth. People came and went, but Tthey barely noticed. Ttheir attention was centered for the most part on each other. she tried to keep her equilibrium, but He had the touch, the voice that called to her. Tthey talked for hours, recognizing some people's presence, ignoring others. Then, she got another PM from someone else. Another admirer was in the room wanting to chat with her. she had no interest in talking with Him. she knew some who would do so to teach Him a lesson, but it was not in her to do that. she told Him an admirer was in the room and chatting with her. He didn't say much, just wondered who it was. He did not have the right to get upset or territorial. she watched in fascination as He sat there, saying and doing nothing. he accepted that He was not where He had been. she knew it was not easy for Him. He did not wish to share her with someone else. He wanted to talk to her, and only her. He did not want to know another divided her attention. Yet, He said nothing. she smiled quietly to herself, and told Him she would log out of the chat site and chat on Yahoo if He wished. He simply told her, He could not order her or put in His say one way or the other. she smiled again. Walking back into the main room, she waved goodbye, wished all well and disappeared form the chat site. He was so caught up in their own chat that He did not even see her say goodbye in the room. He imed her in Yahoo and asked if she was booted. she laughed and said, "No, i logged off." she could feel His smile from there. she knew He was happy that she had logged off. There were no distractions from Him any more. He had her full attention. His smugness could be felt by her even from the distance at which Tthey lived. Tthey talked for 16 hours that time, breaking Ttheir 10 hour record. The healing began, although not over, it began in her heart that night. He still had far to go, but at least, in time, there was hope that all was not lost. Over the next few days Tthey tried to meet up and talk some more. Life seemed to always get in the way. Often they would get on just barely missing each other by a half an hour. It was frustrating to both, but life must always go on. Then one night, they connected. It was Friday night. she was frail, weak, exhausted mentally and emotionally. It had been a hard day for her. she struggled through her thoughts and her feelings. He did His best to make her feel better. The conversation did not flow as easily that night. she seemed to ache with an inner struggle even He did not know about or understand. she simply could not tell Him that her struggle was with Him. she felt she could not reveal too much. she wanted to hide from this extra pain. she felt trapped in the confines of her heart. her beauty was lost to her. she saw herself as ugly, worthless wanting to be hidden. she was scared that when He finally saw more than her words, her heart, that He would disappear again. The fear was real, and she could not share it. After only an hour and a half, His life pulled Him away again. she ached to feel His arms around her, holding her, comforting her. her pain was so real. she wanted Him to know, but she was so afraid to tell Him. she did not want to send Him away from her again. she did not know if she could handle it. They set up the time to meet the next day... four o'clock, and she went to bed, thoughts of Him lingering in her mind. she looked up at the clock, 8 am, another hour had passed. she pulled herself out of the thoughts and grabbed a book. Lying down on the bed, she began to read. The pages of the book turned, her thoughts about Him beat in around her, but she read on, pulling her thoughts always back to the story. she realized her mistake too late. The story was a romance story, with dominating men and strong woman, yielding to their claim. she was in trouble. she read the story, and without conscience thought put herself and Him in the place of the characters. Half way through the story, she closed the book. her body ached in places it shouldn't. her nipples were hard with desire, and her center was wet with need. she closed her eyes and pictured a most erotic scene. she knew she shouldn't. she fought her mind and body with her heart, crying out that it wasn't fair. The pull of the fantasy was too strong. she pictured Him in her mind, coming to her... her Heart Ch. 02 she was standing there before Him. her body clothed in a simple outfit, a flowing white gown. her head was bowed, fearing His rejection. she simply stood there, breathing in and out, feeling her body cry out for His even as her heart felt the connection to His soul. she heard His steps as He walked towards her. she wanted Him more than she understood. As He neared, her body began to bend. she wanted to honor Him, respect Him by kneeling before Him. His hand reached out, grasping a light hold on her arm, propelling her back up. He did not wish for her to kneel. her skin tingled under His touch. The electricity flowing through her body at just the mere touch of His hand shocked her. her head flew up and her eyes locked with His. He felt it to. she gasped and lowered her gaze once again. How could she have raised her eyes to His? How was He going to take her seriously, if she failed at even the tiniest of tasks? A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. she saw a shadow through the side of her eye and then felt His finger as He traced the tear away. His hand reached under her chin and drew it upward. He looked into her eyes. "I did not ask you to kneel or lower your gaze, My dear one. I feel your desire to honor Me, but you have not failed Me in any way." her breath stopped. He knew her thoughts and feeling even when she did not voice them. How could the connection be so real? her body shook with the suppressed emotion. The back of His hand grazed down her right cheek, and then the palm of His hand grazed down the left side of her face. she felt His touch to the very tips of her toes. her body responded even to this, the simplest of touches. her eyes locked with His, took in the thoughts that flowed from His eyes. Tthey communicated without words. His hands ran down her arms, sending shivers up her spine. His power wrapped itself around Him. she could feel how He had control. His hands ran around her neck, touching her skin. The heat from His touch brought fire to her blood. she felt her body respond. her breasts ached. her nipples were hard, poking out, visible through her gown. her musky scent wafted around them. The moisture had pooled between her legs. she was ripe with need. He pulled at her hair, moving the long tresses to the side. His mouth came down on her neck, His tongue swirling over her pulse. His teeth nipped at her skin, giving the delicate feel of a needle rasping over one's skin. His lips met her skin, allowing for the gentle suction. His body swelled when He heard her whimper in her throat. He moved His way around her body, His tongue swirling across her heated skin. He stood behind her, pulling on her hair slightly, arching her neck to give Him better access. He could smell her scent, the scent that was only hers. His nostrils flared, and He felt the wild part of His soul reaching out for control. He wanted to ravage her, to take her and make her His. His hold tightened in her hair, as His mouth came down once again on her neck. He felt her shift her body, pushing into His touch. He meant only to nip at her, but the beast within won. He bared His teeth and let them sink into her skin. She cried out in pain and pleasure. He bit her harder, loving the sound she made. He tasted her skin, the small trickle of blood that was her. His teeth withdrew as His tongue lapped at the bite. His head pulled back, looking at her. His mark rested on her neck right above her shoulder. He had barely broken the surface of her skin, and yet, He knew He had bitten her hard. she did not bruise easily, she had said. Yet, there on her skin even now, seconds later, was a dark purple bruise forming. He smiled in triumph. He had marked His dear one, and she had enjoyed it as much as He had. His mouth descended on her neck again, working its way around under her pile of thick beautiful light brown hair. His fist was full of her hair, and He loved it. her hair was definitely her crowning glory, He thought. He pulled on her upper arms, pulling her body flush against His. her head reached just under His chin. her back rested against His chest. her butt nestled against His hips. His hands reached around her body, and He gently pinched each of her nipples between His fingers. her body responded, arching to press back against Him while pushing her breasts into His hands. she was His. His fingers began a steady stroke on her breasts, pulling and releasing as the tempo built. He could hear the moans coming from her throat. He leaned down over her shoulder, whispering in her ear. "Let Me hear you, My dear one. I want to hear the moans coursing through your body at My touch." He leaned down, using one hand to turn her head towards His. her mouth rested on the outside of His ear. His hand returned to her breast. He began to pull on her breasts again, pinching and pulling then releasing them back to rest again. her moans grew slightly louder, and He felt every one pulse through His body straight to His groin. her breath tickled against His ear and neck. He was swollen with need. He could feel the heaviness of her breasts, as He wrapped His large hands around them. They were His. He massaged them, creating a friction between the gown she wore and His work roughened hands. her body started to move, seeking some release from the sensations, the pressure He was creating. He groaned loudly as her butt rubbed against His fullness. There was always pain with pleasure when He chose to play with her. He felt the need to be with her, as sure as He felt the sway of her hips rubbing against Him. Needing control, He pulled His hands away from her body and stepped away. He watched as she tried to gain her balance. her body was lost in heat and lust, desire coursing through her. she had been leaning her body against His, and now, He had moved away. her eyes opened, and her head swiveled. she meant to look at Him. He could not lose His control so soon to her. "STOP! Do not move," He commanded, loud enough for His words to echo off the walls. she stopped standing still. her body was aching in every possible way, wanting to have Him, needing His touch. she willed her body into submission. Allowing her mind to remember that He was in control, she lowered her head and did not move. He looked at her, loving her desire to please Him. He knew the fullness of His heart, seeing her submit even as she longed for His touch, her release. He was pleased with her. More softly than before, He commanded, "To the bed, My dear one. I want you stripped and on the bed on hands and knees, Now!" He watched with an amused grin as she scurried over to the bed. her body moving in an erotic dance as He watched her pull the gown over her head. she was absolutely beautiful. He knew she struggled with thoughts of ugliness, but He found her more beautiful than words from His mouth could ever say. It was not just her body, her heart, but it was her submission, a gift to Him. He cherished her, cherished her gift from the bottom of His heart. His attention refocused from His thoughts onto her as she struggled to hurriedly pull off the gown. her arms were stuck, and she was making noises of frustration. He silently watched, knowing she was trying to follow the Now of His command. He laughed softly to himself when He heard a tearing sound. He hoped the tear was not bad, but could not keep the swelling of His heart at her desire to do His bidding so willingly. She jumped out of the pool of clothing at her feet and climbed up onto the bed. He watched her hips sway back and forth as she crawled around on top of the black down comforter. she faced the head of the bed, as she knew she should. she balanced her body on her hands and knees, her head bowed. He watched her hair cascade down around her face somewhat saddened that it hid her cherished beauty from His view. He walked over to the closet and pulled out His box, smiling in anticipation. As the fantasy unraveled in her mind, she felt her body respond to the call. her hands wrapped their fingers around her breasts, and she began massaging her breasts. her nipples were hard. she pulled on them, pinching them slightly. she moaned out loud, the sound filling the room around her. she wanted to be with Him, to feel His hands pulling on her body, touching and caressing. she wanted....... her body quivered in anticipation as she heard the closet doors squeak on their hinges. she was willing and ready for Him. she wanted to peek so that she would know what to expect, but she knew that part of the fun was the surprise. she waited, feeling His body heat near her as He placed the box on the table beside the bed. she felt her moisture bead and slip down the inside of her thigh. she was already so wet for Him. she felt her hair being pulled back and waited. He slipped the leather blindfold over her eyes and pulled her hair back into a twisting band. He wanted to see her face, but He also wanted to help her with the temptation to look at Him. He rustled around in the toy box until He found the toy of choice. He placed the tips of the feathers on her back, tickling her up and down her spine. He saw her body try and pull away from the sensation. The nerves on her back were always more sensitive than the rest of her body. He glided the feathers across her butt and down her thighs. He heard her breathing pick up. The feathers danced along her calf and then fell between her legs, tickling her most sensitive space. A squeak came out of her mouth, as the feathers tickled her body. How could He do this to her, knowing that her body was already on fire, needy? her legs spread open wider for Him. she wanted Him to have complete access to all He wished to touch. she needed Him to know that she was His. He slipped the feathers out from between her legs and placed it on the table. Leaning over slightly, His fingers lightly caressed their way down the length of her slit. she was hot, wet and ready for Him. His body twitched with its own need and wants. His fingers slid through the dewy folds that hid her opening. His fingers, delved deep, pushing into her when He found her open and willing. her gasp made Him shove harder. Two fingers inside of her, she was tight, so tight. He felt the muscles of her body wrap themselves around the fingers. He wanted to be in her, but He was not ready. Tantalizing slow, He withdrew His fingers, pinching her clit as He did. He laughed softly when her body arched off the bed in surprise. His hand reached into the toy box again. He brought out His flogger, made of supple soft leather. The handle fit perfectly into His hand. His other hand began a slow seductive dance over her skin, warming it, preparing it. As He felt the muscles in her back begin to relax, He brought His hand back, bringing the flogger down onto her back, gently. It was a sweet caress, a beginning. her eyes popped open as she felt the juices between her legs. she was wet. Part of her felt guilty, thinking about Him, fantasizing about what could happen. she wanted to pull away from erotic dream, but her body was aching for release. she turned to look at the clock, and whispered, "go faster!!!" It only blinked its red dots at her and read the same time 9:30 am. she turned over in the bed and tried to keep her hips from moving back and forth. her thighs were already wet. she picked up the book and began to read. she tried in earnest to let thoughts of Him flee from her mind, but He had taken up a resting place not only in her mind, but her heart and soul. she wished to be talking to Him, wanted time with Him. she felt embarrassed that she was thinking about Him in such an intense sexual way. Tthey had not discussed sexual desires or feelings. she felt in some way that she was betraying His honor, disappointing Him. she reached for the strength to move past her need. The story in the book unfolded as she read. Slowly, she felt some of her need begin to dissipate. she saw herself in the story with Him, this Man that held such control over her. she doubted He even realized it. she closed the book and screamed. she longed to be with Him. Thoughts raced through her head.... "i wish i lived closer to Him. Is it wrong to hope it rained so that His plans for the day had to be changed? Am i going crazy? Am i in this entire situation alone, frightened and scared? Does He care? Where is He right now? Am i obsessing? Is this considered stalking in my mind? Would the intensity i feel and have scare Him?" Again, she screamed. "GO AWAY!!" her thoughts held her captive. she felt pain at Ttheir earlier miscommunications. she felt fear at showing herself to Him, completely. Would He accept her as she was? Would He cherish her for who she was or turn her away when she let Him see her? Could she risk opening her heart completely, giving her submission? she wanted to leap up and down for joy and give in to Him so easily. But she knew He would respect her more for waiting. she knew she would respect herself more for waiting. Silently, her heart cried out for Him, hoping He heard her, knew her pain, her doubt. She looked at the clock and slammed her fist into a pillow, 10 am. Standing up, she left the bed. she went into the living room once again, grabbed her laptop and signed onto the net. she signed into Yahoo and felt the sting of disappointment that yet again, there was no message. she reminded herself, four o'clock. Deciding to try another avenue, a safer avenue of taking her mind off of Him, she started searching for pictures. she found many different ones, beautiful ones, crazy ones, heart tearing ones. During it all, she never forgot about Him. she wanted to cry in agony at the wait. she wanted to sign off the net, but she kept thinking that as soon as she signed out, there He would be. So, staying signed on, she set the computer down and put in a movie. she looked at the clock, 12:30 pm. Putting in the movie, she focused her attention on it. Every few minutes looking over at the computer to check, to see and every time, He wasn't there. her heart felt ripped to the straining point. she turned back to the movie, watching in silence. Time seemed to tick slowly by, with no thought for her. she wanted it to be four o'clock, but it wasn't. The harder she tried to get her mind off of it, the more she thought about it, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him, Him.... over and over and over again. her Heart Ch. 03 she was going insane. Silently, she stood up, feeling the desperation inside. she turned off the movie and went into the bedroom. Deciding to take a nap, she lay down on the bed, nestling her head on her pillow. she closed her eyes and waited. her thoughts turned to Him, to her fantasy, and this time she did not fight it. she simply opened up her mind to view the dream. she felt His hand running along her back, touching her skin. she held her head down, the leather blind fold still making it impossible for her to see. her hair was pulled back, allowing any breeze to whisper across her neck. her hands and knees carried her weight as she waited for His command. she felt her body tingle every place that His fingers touched. she moaned in the back of her throat loving the feel of His work roughened hands on her skin. His arm rose up again, and He brought the flogger down onto her back, a little harder. He felt the power flowing through Him. It was an amazing feeling, knowing that she was His. He knew the power of control, the gift of her submission. It poured through His heart, His soul and His mind. His hand rose again, bringing the flogger down on her back again. He knew that this was what she wanted, what she craved. He knew that in bringing her this pain He brought her pleasure. His hand came back again and again, flogging her back with the leather. Soft redness appeared as her skin heated under the attack. her back arched into the teasing leather as it descended on her over and over again. He felt the beast in Him coming forth. He did not wish to go too far. When He felt He was losing control, He stopped. her whimper almost drove Him mad. He knew He had to stop for now. He did not want to go so far that He lost control. Stepping back, He examined her back. The soft warm heated red glow that He saw warmed His heart. she had whimpered, moaned and whispered His name, but she had never once asked for Him to slow down or stop. her trust in His abilities always amazed Him. He turned from her and placed the flogger on the table by the bed. As His back was turned to her, He said, "Turn over onto your back, dear one." He heard her move around as she obeyed Him. He walked over to the dresser and lit some incense, the scent Tthey both enjoyed. He lit an unscented candle knowing she liked the warmth and glow it provided. Then, He left the room. she lay on the bed, her breathing picking up the scent He lit and knowing in her heart that He had lit a candle as well. her heart swelled, He knew her so well. her ears strained to hear Him, and she knew exactly when He left the room. she knew she was to lie there, unmoving until He returned or told her to move. her fingers itched to run up and down her body. she felt the heat of His leather's caress still on her back. she felt the beads of moisture trailing down her thigh. she knew that He owned her body's responses. she felt more than heard His return. she was pleased that she had been as still as possible while He was gone. It was an accomplishment in many ways. she always wanted to please Him, to give Him the knowledge that she respected Him. she was so lost in her thoughts, she had not heard Him come to the side of the bed. He knew she was off in her head, and thinking to completely surprise her, He simply drew His fingers to her breast and allowed the ice cube to touch her hard nipple. The shriek that came from her made His face spread in a smile. It was exactly the response He had been wanting. His hand drew the ice cube back and forth over her left nipple, watching as her back arched and shudders coursed through her body. He then drew the ice down over the swell of her breast into the valley between. He simply left it there to melt. He stepped back and watched as the beads of water slipped down the sides of her body. He saw her hands twitch at her sides, and He laughed in His head. she wanted to move the ice. It often began a cold pain when sitting in one spot. He watched as her body squirmed. Coming back to the side of the bed, He brought another ice cube to her right nipple. He watched in amazed amusement as her back arched off the bed. her hands fluttered in the air, wanting control. He watched her face as she struggled. she wanted to move the ice, to tell Him to move it, anything to get relief. she said nothing. her agitated hands, made their way to behind her head, where He saw her grip tightly, hoping to gain more control over herself. He danced the ice cube down the middle of her stomach, watching as beads of liquid trailed across her body, tickling her sides as it melted. He reached her belly button and swirled the ice round in a circle until it was completely melted. His head bent down, and He lapped at the pool of liquid around her navel. He sucked at her skin, feeling the heat of her body reaching into His mouth. His fingers traveled down the rest of her body, seeking the secret folds that were nestled between her legs. He lightly pressed His fingers against her clit and rubbed the tips around in circles. her back arched off the bed into His hand. He smiled in satisfaction. His fingers left her body arching for more. He heard her mumble under her breath.. "NO, don't leave!" He smiled in Domly smugness and walked back out of the room. she sighed in exasperation as He left her body heated and iced from His play. she lay there waiting and waiting. He did not return. Knowing that she could not move, she lay there thinking. she drifted off to sleep. He walked back into the room, smiling as He saw she had fallen asleep. This had been His plan. He had stayed away longer than He wanted to make sure she had fallen asleep. He walked quietly across the room. His gaze traveled down her body sprawled out for Him to see. He looked at her face and tightness filled His chest. she was His. His fingers reached down and lightly caressed the skin on her inner thigh. He felt the heat from her body as His hand drew closer to her center. He climbed onto the bed beside her, already having stripped His clothes. Making as little noise as possible, He unwrapped the wicked treat He had for His dear one. Throwing the wrapper away, He looked down at her face. His hand brought the treat down between her legs. He spread her wider and deftly slid it inside of her. He watched as her body responded instantly. He hurried straddled her body, wrapping His legs around her torso. she gasped, "Master, what have You done?" He laughed quietly. "My dear one, it is a popsicle, a cherry one. A nice and cold treat for the heat of your body to melt as you service Me." her arms flailed around her, "No, Master, please, it is too much." His hands wrapped around her wrists and pulled them above her head. "No, you say, My dear one. I will not be as gentle now." His knees rested under her chin on either side of her head. He grabbed His cock and slapped it across her face, watching as she squirmed under His body. He grabbed a hold of her jaw and pulled her mouth open. Looking into what He saw of her face, He brought His cock to her mouth and pushed it into her. He groaned in His head so she did not hear as the heat and moisture surrounded Him. He began to pump His cock into her, forcing her to take as much or as little as He wanted her to. His hand still held her wrists as she struggled. His other hand reached over into the box by the table and brought out a vibrator. Reaching behind Him, He checked the progress of her treat. It was melted. He could see the red juice had trickled out and now coated her thighs as well. He pulled the stick out of her and then, being none too gentle, He shoved the vibrator inside her. He squeezed His thigh muscles around her body as she bucked up into Him. He waited to see if she would control her mouth's reaction. He smiled in satisfaction when not even the tip of her teeth hit against Him. Making sure the vibrator was securely inside of her, He brought His hand back around to the front of His body. His hand wrapped around her neck softly tracing the contours, feeling her pulse beating rapidly underneath. The back of His fingers swept up the side of her face and curled into her hair. With enough force to cause her some pain, He grabbed a hold of her hair and held her head in place. His body came forward, putting weight onto the tips of His knees, and He started a pounding rhythm into her mouth. His head bent down as close to her face as He could get and He whispered, "Do well, dear one, and I might let you cum." He felt her body tighten under His. her mouth wrapped tighter around His cock, and He couldn't help the groan that escaped His mouth. He set a harsh rhythm, pushing in and out of her mouth. her efforts doubled in strength. her tongue lapped at the tip of Him as He would withdraw. Then as He entered again, she sucked down around His length. her tongue swept across the bottom of His thickness, reaching up the sides as best she could. her body quaked under His. The sensations shooting through her body from the vibrator were so powerful. she desperately needed, wanted to cum. she doubled her efforts yet again, sucking Him into her mouth, purring in the back of her throat, sending sensations pulsing through His body. He moaned at her purrs and pushed into her mouth harder. His entire length slipped into her mouth. He felt her struggle to breathe, felt her struggle not to gag. she took Him into her mouth and purred again. The vibrations in her throat sent Him over the edge. His body pushed Himself completely into her, and He spasmed, filling her mouth. she continued with her mouth wrapped around Him, sucking softly, swallowing. her tongue gently swirled around Him, adding sensation as His climax finished. He pulled out of her, His body shuddering. He looked down at her and smiled. He watched her struggle against the pulsing sensations traveling through her body. He went to the end of the bed. Laughing softly, He said, "I always liked cherry popsicles." He withdrew the vibrator and ran His tongue up the length of her lips. her knees came up off the bed, and her legs pulled away, opening herself to Him. His tongue reached out and wrapped around her clit, sucking gently. His teeth nipped at her. He felt her body stiffen. she was close to losing control of her orgasm He brought His fingers to her and pushed two inside of her. her body was on fire. her muscles so tight He could barely fit His fingers inside of her. He moved His fingers in and out of her body, slow and steady. her hips bucked against Him. A smile lighted His face. His tongue lapped at the cherry juices that had wet her thighs. Then feeling her body's response build, He picked up the tempo of His fingers, looked up at her and in a strong voice, "Cum now, My dear one." His mouth moved down, and His teeth sank into her clit as His fingers pushed into her over and over again faster and faster. He felt her muscles squeezing around His finger and then she spasmed around Him. her juices began to flow around Him as she came. her musky scent filled the room, her back arching off the bed, a scream on her lips with His name echoing around the room. He withdrew His fingers and lapped at her slit tasting her essence. Then He stood up beside the bed. He removed the blind fold and watched as her eyes fluttered open. Ttheir eyes locked, and He smiled at her. "Well done, My dear one." His head bent, and His lips met hers, kissing her softly as she smiled at His pleasure. her eyes popped open. her body was on fire. she had fallen into a dream that was so real. her nipples were hard against her clothes, her panties wet with her dew. she looked at the clock. she jumped out of the bed, running into the living room. her heart was racing. she grabbed the laptop and pulled it into her lap. Opening it up, she waited, drumming her fingers and looking at the clock. It was 3:45 pm, fifteen minutes. she grumbled under her breath at the computer, taking its own sweet time. Then she was signing on, her breath hitched. The anticipation had built to a cresting wave. she was going to talk to Him. her body hummed with added energy, wishing, wanting. Yahoo popped up and she waited as it signed her in. she held her breath and looked. No, He wasn't there yet. Sigh, she hoped she hadn't missed Him. she bounced around reading blogs, looking for things to keep her occupied. she read and commented on other's pages, and then she looked at the clock. 4:00pm, she nearly jumped out of her seat silently squealing with joy. she brought up the main messenger screen and watched, waiting.......nothing. she was ready to pounce on Him when He arrived, but she would not. she would act calm, natural, like she hadn't been thinking about Him all day. 4:15 pm, she looked on. Maybe something happened and He was delayed. she hoped that He was alright, not hurt and on His way to her, wherever He might be. 4:30 pm still He wasn't there, 5 pm, she began to get frustrated. she had been thinking, waiting, wanting and He wasn't there. she started to beat at the walls of her heart with her mind. she sent a message... "The fact that i can look forward to something all day, and then be so deeply disappointed when it doesn't happen....and the fact that i can wait for an hour, wondering, hoping, and with every second and minute that ticks by feel it just as deeply.... well it makes one wonder." 5:30 pm, she wanted to pull out her hair, screaming and crying. The pain was deep. Why did He do this to her? Why did He set up a time and not show up? How many people set up a time to meet someone and then just not show up? her mind screamed at her over and over again, how stupid, ugly, worthless, pathetic she was. Had she really let Him get to her again? she calmed down and signed out, hoping He had simply been delayed and maybe in time, He would get on and send her a message. she went to bed falling into a deep sleep, finally. she woke up much later 9:30 pm, barely functioning. she walked into the living room and signed onto the net once again. she thought for sure that by now, He would have sent her a message, at least letting her know why He was not there. Silently, with a heavy and hopeful heart, she signed into Yahoo and waited. The screen flared to life and she looked, there was nothing. He was not on, and there was no message. she had been stood up again, left alone to wonder, to hurt, to cry out in pain at no one. He wasn't there. she fell back into the bedroom, tired and exhausted from the mental and emotional anguish of the day. He didn't know or understand how she felt. He had hurt her again. Why didn't He realize the power He had? she felt lost, abandoned, alone. Once again, she was left to handle the doubts and fears alone, in the shadows of her mind. she had let Him hurt her again. she screamed in her mind all of the hateful and terrible things anyone had ever said to her. He could not know the depth of pain He had caused. With just one 16 hour sitting, she had lost control of her heart and mind again. The walls she had built around her had crumbled into nothing. she was as weak as she possibly could be. her heart ached in ways she never knew it could. The next morning, she awoke to remember the pain of His absence. she went to her computer, signing on to check but with little hope. Again there was nothing, He had not been in touch. she felt the power in her heart, a small peanut size point in her heart that held her power. she no longer had the strength of will to fight. her determination and will had melted into the background. she had given Him another chance, and He had disappointed her. she knew it hadn't been a week, two weeks or even a month as it had reached last time, but could she really afford to give Him that much time again? she reached into her heart and began to write, the pain, the fears, the doubts and loneliness flowing from her heart, through her fingertips, and unto the page of a document. she wrapped her story around truth and fairy tale. The words flowed as the pain did. her body felt the exhaustion of reliving the past, of recounting the events, the pain. she found the strength to continue on, writing out her pain. she patched in real events, real feelings with things that did not exist, weaving a story that hopefully would speak to many. At the end of her rope, feeling the pain, the loss and betrayal, she simply decided to disappear. If He wanted her, He would have to find her and chase her. she no longer would chase Him. she would not be played. He once said that she could not get rid of Him easily. she would have to delete Him from every source of communication before He would give up. she challenged Him to do so. If He really wanted her, He would chase her, stalk her, find her and win her... her Heart Ch. 04 she set about moving on with her life. she worked on forgetting Him. The next few days, she kept busy, occupying her mind with stories and life. Sunday and Monday passed in a haze. she knew that it had been days, and when she logged online, she checked. The weight of disappointment was always pushed to the back of her mind when there was no message. she wondered and waited. Thinking to be helpful in her quest, she became a smart ass for thirty seconds. she sent Him an offline message. "It would be very beneficial for You to pay attention to some things." she waved and disappeared. Smiling softly to herself, and hoping that He would take up her challenge, she went about her days, thinking at times of Him, but always finding the strength to move on. she would conquer the desire to "fly into His conversation" when He happened to return. Tuesday dawned bright and sunny. she was doing well. her day started with a smile on her face and an almost light heart. she was picking up some of the pieces. her writing seemed to help her, not only deal with the pain, but also to help her be stronger in heart. she worked around her house, making sure things got done. she logged online and read others blogs and comments, and then she decided to log onto Literotica. her room of choice was empty, but she went there hoping that someone would show up to talk to. Within a few minutes friends entered the room, asking how she was, starting up conversations. Two friends showed up, zenobia and sub.lingual. The conversation wrapped itself around the events of the past few days. they both agreed that she needed "bitch lessons". The first rule was: always say what is on your mind and never worry about offending someone with what you have to say. her response was, "Oh, i never want to offend anyone." The second rule was never let anyone walk all over you, stand up for yourself and if someone crosses the line, make them cross back over. her response was, "Well, i could try to do that." she sighed softly to herself and said, "i won't make a very good bitch, i'm already failing." All three of them had a good laugh over this as the conversation flowed on to other things. she drifted out of the chat site some time later after many wonderful conversations and laughs. her spirits were lifted, and she could meet the dawn of another day with a smile on her face and a light to her eye. He had not contacted her at all Saturday, Sunday, Monday or Tuesday, but she would survive, she would be strong. she awoke in much the same manner on Wednesday. her strength gathered around her and she met the dawn of a new day with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. she spent the morning picking up here and there around the house and accomplishing small tasks. After eating lunch, she logged onto the net and walked around pages of friends, reading and leaving comments. Checking her own page, she saw a comment from a dear friend, pure heart. she was shocked to find the comment, but secretly smiling to herself. The conversation became quite fun, jumping back and forth, misbehaving. pure heart, without knowing it, kept her mind busy with laughter for some time. Part of the conversation went as follows....... pureheart:Smile you are an inspiration to U/us all with your thoughtfulness, kindness, inner beauty and humility. It is a pleasure to know you, and call you a friend .. hugggs you tightly..... ps just HAD to go back and read the WHOLE of it again!!!! *giggles* her:Shhh Now, pure one, my niceness, beauty, and etc are suppose to be a secret. Here you are telling everyone. *sighs* Thank you pure one, for your thoughts and comments. i'll try to live up to the picture you have painted of me in your head. pure heart: Smile *takes bugle ..summons E/everyone around* announces posting below for A/all to hear ... *grins* .. no way is it a secret now!!!! ROFL .... her:Pinch *GASPS* Now, i have to go tell Alan that you are being naughty again and that you DON'T deserve a spanking just for that. Hmmm... or DO deserve a spanking, depending of in you are a masochist or not.... are you? *laughs* pureheart:Hmmm... Sits looking demure and innocent ... fluttering eye-lashes ... would I EVER be naughty??!!! .... and as for being a masochist .... whispers reply indistinctly .... a discussion topic for some point then yes??!!!! her:Tickle Stop misbehaving. NO spankings, well i'll help my cause, i hope, by speaking with Alan. *sighs* you are going to give all my secrets away, and you are NOT innocent, fluttering your eyelashes. GROWLS *laughs* her:Wink Alan, Sir, i respectfully have to inform You, that pure one is misbehaving on my page. i told her, i would talk to You about no spankings as punishment. (smiles) pureheart:Pinch ROFL, just visited Alan ..and there I was thinking you were my friend!!!! *smiles* *********** The frivolity helped saved her mind from thinking too much and the laughter helped to heal her heart. she knew that there were others out there that cared about her and for her. It was His loss to disappear from her world as she had much to offer. Once again, she found her mouse trailing across the computer to the link for the chat site, Literotica. After several tries, she entered the Lounge and then her "home". A tingle of fear raced through her body at the sight of His name. He was there, in the room. she thought about leaving abruptly, but she had more strength than that. she wanted to prove to Him and to herself that she could cope in a mature, adult fashion with the situation that had arisen. she greeted those in the room and was surprised when He told her He was sending her a message. she acknowledged His claim and merely stated she had not received anything. A few moments later, a message from Yahoo appeared. His apology appeared, telling her once again that His life had pulled Him away from the set up time to meet. He had been fishing with some children in the community. she did not give in too easily. she secretly thanked zenobia and sub.lingual for giving her those brief lessons, and proceeded to be exactly that, a bitch. she began asking her questions... "How long does it take for a person to log online and leave a small sentence? How long does it take for someone to realize, a human being is around with a heart hurt and wounded by Your easy dismissal? Do You think Your time is more precious than mine?" He calmly stated that life always comes up, no matter what the heart might desire to do, and that He needed the time to work, sleep and deal with matters at hand. she felt the tug of her heart at His words. she knew He worked hard. she knew that in this way He was a very solid man. her heart began to thaw, but her back bone stiffened. "If You are truly a Dom, wouldn't You expect more consideration from Your submissive? Would You not expect her to finish a task on time, or show up at the appointed time? How can a Dominant expect this from Their submissive, and yet, not show the same consideration for them?" When these questions etched into black and white onto the screen, her anger began to recede. He answered the questions, and she knew in her heart that she understood. How could she not understand His answers, she was connected to Him. Tthey began chatting about day to day life. He talked about His job and the idiots He worked with. she talked about what she had filled her days with in His absence. As always, the easy conversation and camaraderie fell into place, and the ice thawed the tiniest bit more. she asked if He had paid attention to the point she had made. He told her He had gotten the hint, but that He had not realized the true effect He had on her. A whisper echoed in her mind that perhaps He was not as connected to her as she was to Him. Perhaps in the swing of things, she had felt what He had not. After some time had passed, and her anger and hurt had dissipated, their talk turned to where He stood. He told her that He would be stupid not to stalk her. she merely laughed at this and chose not to comment. Secretly, in her heart, she hoped the stalking would be good. she wanted to know for sure that He sought after her as she did Him. He told her that when His head turned and saw her, and she sparked His interest, He was afraid. Pain from previous aspects of life caused Him to watch her in fear. There was a part of Him leery of opening Himself to her, afraid she would disappear. her only response was, "i am not the one who did not show up at the appointed times to talk, and why if You have been caused pain in Your life, would You want to hurt someone else so deeply?" she felt in her mind that He was troubled. He responded, "Because I did not realize that I could hurt you as I have, and I will strive harder in the future not to hurt you at all. I may be a Dom, but I am also human. I have struggled and fought in My life. I have been hurt and put up walls. There is a reality that I have a life and in that life, I have experienced great pain. The fear of feeling that pain again can hold Me back, just as fear and pain can hold you back." her heart broke a little inside, knowing that He had ever been hurt. she wanted to be there next to His side, holding Him, bringing Him comfort. Knowing pain in her own life, she opened her heart to Him, feeling the pain that He had been through. Always having a tender and giving heart, she reached out to Him, sharing and comforting Him. she did not forget His callousness and carelessness in disappearing on her, but she did remember her own pain and her own heart and allowed Him to once again step into her heart's inner embrace. As their conversation ended, He made it clear that He did not know when He would be around again. she told Him not to set up times to talk with her. she would rather play a hit and miss game then to feel the pain of being alone again. Tthey parted ways amicably, and both knew in time, the possibility still existed for something to happen. she wandered into her bedroom. Laying down she thought about their conversation. she remembered His comment in passing about the fishing trip He had gone on before she fell into a sleep filled with thoughts of Him, a boat, fishing, and much, much more. her Heart Ch. 05 she fell into a dream, thinking of Him, blue skies, blue-grey water, fishing, a boat, the sun and....... The sun beat down on her back, causing her body to feel the warmth seeping through her skin. she was at peace out here on the water. her head turned, and she looked at Him. she knew a lot of females that hated fishing and would rather spend the time sun bathing on the beach, but she had always enjoyed being on the boat on the water, fishing. It always had a calming effect on her spirit. A smile blossomed on her face as she felt the gentle sway of the boat on the small waves. she felt at home here. her fishing pole in hand, she quietly divided her attention between the bobber in the water and the handsome Male next to her. she normally didn't have such a hard time keeping track of actually catching fish, but today, she felt the pulsing in her blood, the temperature of her body rising ever time she looked at Him. He looked different sitting in the boat. He was still all male, but the backdrop of blue-grey water, green trees and the gentle sway of the brush behind Him, made Him look more relaxed, just a man. she knew better of course. He was not just a man. He was everything. He was her Master, the reason she found her way out of bed willingly in the morning. He had what others did not, the power to turn her head, again and again. He was the very essence of life and soul she craved to make her complete. He knew that she felt deeply for Him, but she also knew there was no way He could know how deep His power went inside of her. she had longed for Him, craved Him, waited for Him, and now, here she was sitting in a boat, on water, fishing with Him. she loved that He was not always "on" with their D/s relationship. He was definitely always in control of His actions and hers, but there were times, like this fishing trip, that they could be together without all the hoopla everyone always painted it out to be. Just because they were D/s did not mean they could not live a normal life like everyone else. Most relationships, even those that were 24/7 did not keep the "scene" on all the time. she was lucky to have found a Man that enjoyed a nice quiet day cuddling on the coach watching a movie or a quiet day on a lake fishing. she looked down at the bottom of the boat. After all, it would not be very comfortable kneeling for hours on the bottom of the boat. The carpeting would probably feel a lot like kneeling in rice. she grinned. she knew in her heart that if He truly desired for her to do so, she would, but thank god He didn't. her head turned looking up into the sky. The sun was higher than earlier. her back felt quite warm. she was wearing a bathing suit, hoping that while relaxing in the boat she could get some sun on her skin as well. The bathing suit was a deep blue color with white and light blue flowers all over. It was a two piece, but the top met the bottom at her navel. The straps wrapped around her shoulder, meeting the back half of the bathing suit in the middle of her back. This left her shoulders and upper back available to the sun. The bottom of the suit was modest. The legs of the suit wrapped around her upper thighs and the back and front covered all the important areas. Some would probably compare it to Grandma underwear, but she felt comfortable in it. Sitting in the boat for hours fishing was not conducive to the tinier suits that would end up riding up her butt. she didn't want to spend hour upon hour trying to wiggle around pulling out a little strip of cloth that didn't hide anything from anyone. After all, she had to do her part at improving the male population's imagination where other women didn't. She wore a white wrap around her legs. The split opened up showing most of whichever thigh needed the sun at the time. she looked over at Him again, and she found Him watching her. A smile spread across her face as her eyes locked with His. she winked at Him and watched as His smile appeared. her breath hitched in her throat. His smile always had that effect on her. she could lose herself in the way His face lit up when He looked at her. "My dear one, I do believe you should put something on your back, neck and arms. I think you might be getting too much sun for your sensitive skin. I know that your skin reacts to things, but yesterday, on My way home from work, I stopped and found some sun screen for sensitive skin. I am hoping that it will protect you not only from the sun but also from breaking out." her eyes lowered, and she bowed her head. His thoughtfulness brought such pride to her heart. He always took care of her, even when she did not realize she would need to be taken care of. It was His way, and she found it always moved her when He did so. she knew there were some that expected to be "taken care of", but she longed only to take care of Him. she tried to never think about herself and her own needs. her heart and mind desired to serve Him, and in that service, she always found He looked after her and took care of her in ways that always melted her heart. she felt His fingers on her chin lifting her head. His thumb stroked across her cheek, brushing at the lonely tear that had escaped her eye. His look was full of pride. "My dear one, you can not realize the pride I have in you. you always take what I do for you to heart. It is a precious gift you give to Me, this tenderness." He leaned down slightly and placed a sweet, gentle kiss against her lips. she felt the tingling on her lips that His kisses always brought. she felt her lips move against His, returning His kiss. A small purr was heard by both in the back of her throat. she was still amazed that just one small kiss could have her body humming with need. Tthey pulled apart, and He looked at her. He moved His finger in a circular motion, asking quietly for her to turn around. she smiled and shifted in the boat, keeping steady so as not to tip Tthem over. she heard Him open a bottle and then His hand was pulling her hair to the side. she felt His fingers brush softly against her scalp. she moaned softly before letting out a small squeal when the cool lotion hit her skin. After her body adjusted, she relaxed into the feel of the coldness. she realized how right He had been about her back. The lotion was very soothing and cool which meant she had gotten quite a bit of sun already. she allowed her head to fall gently forward, and He released her hair. It cascaded around her face as she rested her forehead on her knees. His hand left her hair and joined His other hand on her back. His fingers began rubbing the lotion into her skin in circles. His thumbs added just the hint of pressure as He rubbed. He felt more than heard the moan that pulsed through her body. His smile spread across His face as His hands reached over the side of the boat. He washed off His hands in the water before sitting back up. "Stay in that positions, My dear one. Do not look up." He pulled both fishing poles in out of the water as He watched her out of the corner of His eye. Then looking around, He spotted the little inlet He remembered. Starting up the trolling motor, He quietly made way into the little cove. It was surrounded by trees that were green. It had been raining a lot lately, and the trees and brush were full and beautiful. The bank had some long grass growing up, but someone had cut it recently, so it only came up the middle of His calf. He pulled a blanket out from the storage unit, and tied the boat off to two different trees. Getting as close to shore as was safe, He stepped into the water, blanket in hand and waded ashore. He heard her sharp intake of breath as He left the boat, but He watched and saw that she did not move. He used His hands and feet to push the long grass down, breaking it down. He piled it a little around the area and then He laid the blanket over top. Looking over at the boat, He watched as His dear one continued to rest in the position He had left her. Wading back out to the boat, He moved so that He was standing in the water right outside of the boat where she sat. He leaned in close and quietly spoke to her. "My dear one, Wwe are going to test your trust in Me." He felt her head shift slightly as her hair caressed the side of His face. "Please keep your eyes closed, and know that I will keep you safe and protected. Give Me your right hand and place your left hand on the side of the boat. Stand up and swing your left leg over the side of the boat. Try and feel the bottom of the lake with your foot before placing weight on your leg." she followed His instructions, placing her right hand in His, she got up slightly from the chair and placed her left hand on the edge of the boat. Then using His support and her hand on the boat she slipped her left leg over the side. Gingerly, she felt around with her toes for the bottom of the lake. She felt her toes hit some rocks and dirt and slowly she tried to gain a footing. Feeling sure that she had a safe spot, she put her weight on her leg. "Now, dear one, put your left hand in Mine and your right hand on the boat and swing your right leg over. Again, please be cautious about placing your weight on your leg. I do not want you to slip." He heard her soft, "Yes, Sir," as she placed her left hand in His. Slowly, she pulled her right leg over the side of the boat and placed it on the bottom of the lake. Smiling softly, she waited to make sure she had solid footing before balancing on the dirt and rocks. her eyes had remained closed the entire time. she felt a swelling of pride at this small accomplishment. It was not an easy thing to be so trusting around water and the small fear of drowning. He smiled at her. she had made Him so proud just by doing this one small thing for Him. He knew that for anyone to be out of control in a different environment could be quite taxing. "Now, dear one, please continue to keep your eyes closed and trust Me. Wwe are going to walk forward, and I am going to guide you. Again, please be careful of your footing; make sure it is strong first." He smiled as He saw her chin rise to the challenge. He was still amazed even now how she always tried her best to trust Him. Taking both of her hands in His, He walked backwards periodically looking over His shoulder. He watched her carefully, and felt His heart swell when never once did she falter. her eyes remained closed, and she always double checked her footing. Tthey made it to the bank, and He walked her over to the blanket. "Please, turn towards me and then sit down, without looking." she nodded, turning her body to face His voice and then sitting down. He let her hands go, and they dropped to her side. she felt the blanket underneath of her. she felt His hands grab at her ankles, and she gasped slightly as the towel wiped at her feet. she felt so honored at His tender care of her. her feet were wet and most likely dirty too, and here He was drying them and cleaning them off for her. Was it not her job to do this for Him? He was so tender with her, but He always kept His control, His power. That is who He is to her. she saw Him with that power and control no matter what happened. she sighed softly as the towel reached her calves. "Lay back, My dear one," He watched as she responded to His voice and laid back. He watched her body as she did what He said. It always seemed to respond to Him, to draw Him. He wiped off His own hands and feet on the towel He had found with the blanket, and then He lay down next to her. His fingers traveled up her stomach, danced across her breasts, and found their way to her neck. The tips of His fingers gently stroked the side of her neck and up the side of her face. His hand tangled in her hair almost without Him realizing it, and then He pulled her head up to His. His lips lightly grazed over her full ones as He murmured softly, "Thank you, My dear one, for your trust." Then His mouth took hers in a heated kiss. His mouth was firm and strong, coaxing hers to follow where His led. she moaned softly as her lips took up His challenge and danced with His. her tongue darted out, to drag across His lips, tasting Him. He felt His body swell with need. she was so beautiful and sexy even when she wasn't trying to be. His body always responded to her even when He tried to control it. He felt her foot travel up His leg. He felt His jeans rub against His skin. His hand fell to her thigh and He trailed His hand up and down her skin. Reaching for the knot that held her white wrap on, He undid it. His hand moved to her stomach, splaying out to stroke against it. He found where the top and bottom of her suit met, and His hand pulled the top up. He felt the heat of her skin against the palm of His hand, and felt the desire in His body well up inside of Him. The dark side of His nature, the beast, began to stir in His head. He wanted her. His hand tightened in her hair, He pulled her face to the side. His lips trailed down the side of her face to her ear. His voice strong and sure whispered into her ear, "I will have you, My dear one." Then His teeth grazed against her earlobe as He bit down slightly. He felt her body arch up off the ground a little. He felt the need coursing through her body. His tongue darted out and lazily stroked down the side of her neck. He loved the taste of her skin. He was happy He had not put sun screen on her neck. He loved making her scream and beg. His mouth found her pulse, and His tongue swirled around it. He moved down to where her shoulder met her neck and let His teeth graze against her skin back and forth. her body responded to Him immediately. her head turned, arching her neck. her hand came up and rested in His hair, hoping to keep His head where it was. He felt laughter in His head. He moved, knowing she would whimper in her throat, wanting more. His mouth traveled down to her collarbone. He began sucking and nipping at her skin. He reached the top swell of her breast just slightly available above her suit. His hand moved up from her stomach. He began rubbing His hand against her breast as His tongue lapped at the swell. Growling in frustration, He pulled at the suit, pulling it down away from her breast. His mouth found her nipple, and He pulled it into His mouth. He heard her gasp and moan as He sucked. her body began moving, and He could feel and taste how aroused she was. His tongue swirled around her nipple, wrapping it and then pulling. her back arched off the ground, pushing her breast further into His mouth. He allowed His mouth to open further. His teeth hit her breast, and He bit into her. she screamed softly in pain and pleasure. His fingers moved down to her thigh. He rested on the inside of her thigh, just below her sex. He felt the heat of her body from there. The length of His first finger started rubbing up against her. He casually ran His finger up and down, her squirming making me smile. He felt her body begging for more, but He waited. she moved against Him, feeling the length of His body pressed hard against her side. He always knew what would drive her crazy. she felt every part of her body aching for His touch, His kiss. she wanted Him inside of her, filling her. she felt as if she was going mad with need, and then He stopped. she felt the growl of frustration well up inside of her. He was playing with her. The growl broke out and she knew He heard it. her body ached in frustration. her hand found His face, and she turned towards Him keeping her eyes closed. she smiled, and then began to speak. her voice came out husky with need, "Please. Please, i need You." she begged. Within moments she felt Him pulling at the bottom of her suit. His need could be felt in His almost desperate attempts to pull them off. she brought her back off of the blanket and pushed her thumbs under the waist line and pulled them down. He growled at her, and then He was there. He felt the wild side of Him taking over. He needed her, all of her wrapping around Him. He pulled at His jeans, undoing them as she helped take off her suit. He pulled them down and kneeled between her legs. His own desire had built to a deafening need. He wanted to join Ttheir bodies. He looked up at her face. He saw that she knew, she understood. He only took enough time to shove two fingers inside of her to check her need, before quickly pulling them out and burying Himself inside of her. she felt Him push His way inside of her body. she loved it when the beast inside of Him took over control. He was rough and animalistic. she craved this side of Him. her hips jerked up to meet His as He began to ride her. she felt her walls wrap around Him and begin pulling Him deep inside of her. she arched into His need. He growled low and deep in the back of His throat. she was hot, wet, and ready for Him. He began taking what she offered with savage need. He rode her, jamming Himself completely into her over and over again. her walls sucked at Him, pulling His length into her welcoming heat. His hands fell to ground on either side of her head. His lips crushed down on hers. His tongue delved into her mouth. His need for her had made Him crazy. His teeth nipped at her lips. Then His mouth descended to her breast and He began suckling hard and fast. He felt her muscles clamp around Him. she moaned loudly as she felt His mouth moving over her body. The words were pulled out of the very depth of her soul, "Please, Master, Please may i cum." she waited as He took more of her body into His mouth. The force behind His need pushed into her waiting, welcoming body again and again. she fought the need to cum, waiting. His head lifted from her, and His body rode her hard and fast. Feeling His body swell, He leaned down unto His arms. His face near her ear, He whispered, "Come for me NOW, My dear one." Then His mouth opened and lowered to her neck just under the base of her skull, and He bit her. His body pushed into her with abandoned need. He felt her muscles squeeze Him so tightly. He felt His body respond. He pushed into her one last time and felt His body contract. her juices flowed out around Him, and He emptied Himself into her. she cried out as she came. He loved the sound she made. He felt Ttheir bodies finish cresting and began to relax. His teeth left her neck, and He softly kissed the spot. His lips trailed up her face as Ttheir bodies stopped spasming as one. Then His lips softly kissed hers. His tongue swirled around her lips, softly, caressing. He let His body fall to the side of hers. His arm wrapped around the back of her head, and He pulled her body flush against the side of His. He laid her head on His chest, wrapped His arms around her and held her. "Thank you, My dear one. you have done well today. you trusted me in the water, and you remembered to ask permission to cum. I am so proud to call you Mine." she awoke with a smile on her face and breathing hard. If He was as good in real life as He was in her dreams... her Heart Ch. 06 she started out her day like many others, working on her writing. her thoughts often strayed to Him and the times Tthey had shared. Whenever she closed her eyes, she could picture Him in her head. Thoughts of her dream would drift back into her mind, and she would stop to let the images sizzle. Even far apart she would feel the heat blossom throughout her body. she often found herself closing her eyes just to see Him. she always felt like He was there, watching over her, protecting her. Ttheir times together had become better. Tthey spoke often and shared about day to day lives as well as more personal things. Often, she would find her heart reaching out to Him, wanting to hold Him and heal all the wounds His heart and soul had felt. her tenderness and need to help Him always seemed to overwhelm her. Without that need and tenderness towards Him, she often felt she would be a shell of a person. He had gotten into her very essence, becoming a part of who she was. After a quiet day of chores, filled with thoughts of conversations and feelings, she headed to a local coffee shop. There were times that she felt her body consumed with nothing but the need and desire to talk with Him. The need scared her at times. she had never really depended on anyone so much, but with Him, she needed the dependence. she needed to be able to rely on Him to care for her. The coffee shop was a quaint little place. she always enjoyed the coffee, and the environment was generally quiet. The shop had free internet service for her computer as well as a place to plug it in. Today, she ordered an iced coffee, something to counteract the heat outside. Finding a booth open, she sat down and opened her laptop. While she waited for it to boot up, she looked around. The shop held cups and coffee in bags and trinkets that could be purchased. It had several booths, high top tables, wooden tables, and padded chairs with trays. All in all, it was a comfy place to rest and get out of the house, away from the cares of home. her laptop came to life and she connected to the internet. Signing into Yahoo, she hoped to see Him on, but He wasn't. It was always a gamble now, hit and miss. Tthey had agreed to not set up times, but there were days she hated that rule. she would be available all day for hours and not see Him, and then, she'd leave for an hour or two, and of course He would sign on looking for her. she had to make the choice: heartache over Him setting a time and not showing up, or not setting a time and waiting and waiting for whenever He had time. Life was cruel at times, and she tried to always make the best of it. she went to her e-mail and read through the few things she had, and then she went to her 360 and started catching up on blogs and the lives of her friends. she felt restless, always in the back of her mind hoping that He would pop on and talk to her. her eyes moved to the window, staring out into the sky for awhile. she saw all the old cars that were in town for the car show. she really should get around to seeing some of them. she sighed softly. she loved the older cars. They had such character about them. Returning her attention to the computer, she took a drink of coffee. Distractedly, she got involved in a story a friend was writing. she always lost herself in the descriptions and ideas that flowed. As her mind wandered patrons came and went in the shop. she only ever gave them a brief glance. The thoughts the story evoked made her restless. she heard the bell over the door ring again, and she looked up. A brief glance and her eyes returned to the computer screen. Then, her heart stopped. Looking up again, her eyes swung back to the door and she gasped. He was there, or at least it looked like Him. she shook her head, trying to clear out any fantasies. she blinked her eyes and looked again, but He was no longer in front of the door. her head turned from side to side, looking, trying to find Him. He had disappeared, she didn't see Him. Thinking it was all in her imagination, she went back to reading the story. A shadow fell across the table and she felt a presence next to the table where she sat. her head swiveled and she saw jeans and a t-shirt. her eyes traveled upward and then her mouth opened as her gaze fell upon His face. His head bent down, and He looked into her eyes. "If you keep your mouth open any longer, I might be tempted to use it for My pleasure, dear one." her mouth snapped shut, a grin spreading across her face, her eyes lighting up. she, as gracefully as she could, scooted over on the booth seat and waited. she watched as He folded His frame into a sitting position next to her. she looked at Him and smiled. "Are You a figment of my imagination, or are You really here?" she watched as His head turned, His gaze locking with hers. His hand reached across His body and His fingers caressed her face as He leaned toward her. she was riveted to the spot. she felt His hand on her face, the heat of His skin. she could smell the heat and scent of Him. her eyes drifted closed as her face leaned into His hand. His hand moved back grazing against her ear and His fingers tangled in her hair. The grip not painful but firm, holding her head still. His body moved closer to hers, and His head lowered. His lips teasingly grazed against hers. A soft whimper was heard from her, and it was His signal. His mouth crushed against hers, hard and passionately. A jolt traveled through Ttheir bodies, bringing instant heat, arousal, and need. her hand came up and molded to the side of His face. His other arm came around and pulled her closer to Him. He felt her chest pressed against His. her hand fell from His face and her arm wrapped around Him. He had known it would be like this, explosive. He allowed Himself a few moments for the loss of control. He had wanted her, needed her, and craved her for so long. He knew that she felt the same. The build up of anticipation, of desire had not been in vain. The connection sizzled between Tthem. Ttheir breath mingling together as Ttheir hearts raced. He pulled a little tighter in her hair, holding her to Him. He heard her quiet moan, and echoed hers with one of His own. He pulled back from her mouth and rested His forehead against hers. Tthey both took a deep breath not daring to speak. her eyes remained closed as He looked at her. her voice sounding a little shaky, she asked, "Are You really here?" Then her eyes opened and looked into His. her look of uncertainty had His heart melting inside of Him. He pulled her into His embrace, His body solid against hers. "Yes, My dear one, I am really here." He felt her body relax against His, a deep breath seemed to well up from the depths of her soul and she sighed. her head rested on His shoulder, tucked under His chin. His arm wrapped around her shoulders, holding her tightly to Him. she was His, and He was hers. He felt her body shudder under His arm. He pulled back, His hand reaching up and tilting her face so He could see hers. He saw a silent trail of tears sliding down her face. her eyes opened, and she looked up at Him. The pad of His thumb brushed against the tears. In a quiet voice He asked, "Why are you crying, dear one?" she smiled, her eyes lowering. "i suppose it is the intensity behind the situation. Wwe have longed to see each other, to be near one another, and yet there was always a small fear that in person it would be different. However, here You are, next to me, holding me, kissing me in the flesh, and it is real. i am awed and filled with amazement at this blessing. Wwe have not been disappointed. Oour connection is strong, the awareness sizzling in the background." He smiled at her, His thumb brushing away the last traces of tears. "Yes, My dear one, I am here, and I am not disappointed. you are a blessing to Me." He watched as a pink tinge of color spread across her face, her eyes lowering and her head bowing. He laughed softly, she really did blush, and seeing it made her so much more precious to Him. she was real. He found His voice, "Finish up what you were doing, dear one, and then Wwe will leave." she smiled softly, turning her body slightly to face the computer. He shifted His positions so that the side of His body was snuggly resting against the side of hers. He watched her, simply enjoying being next to her, close to her. He reached out and grabbed her cold coffee and took a drink, knowing that she wouldn't mind. He watched her try to concentrate on what she had been doing before His arrival. she always tried so hard at what she did. His hand moved up her back, pulling her hair away from her neck. His hand gently massaged her neck. He felt her body relax slightly under His touch. her head fell forward and rested on her arm. Quietly, He moved the coffee from His right hand to His left, and brought the bottom of the cup down onto her neck. He felt and saw her body tense at the sensation of cold against her skin. she slowly sat up, turning her head to look at Him. A smile graced her face and laughter glinted in her eyes. she brought her back up, sitting straight. His eyes drifted down to her breasts as He watched the fabric of her shirt tighten across them. He set the cup on the table, taking time to take off the lid. His eyes drifted over the side of her face, the length of her arm, and the sight of her neck. her skin was a light creamy color, and He desperately wanted to lick at it. His head bent towards her. He felt her body tense slightly. His mouth grazed against her ear, "Relax, dear one," He whispered. His tongue flicked against her ear lobe. He felt her body shudder against His. He opened His mouth and let His teeth graze her ear, nibbling gently at her. He heard her breath hitch in her throat. He moved down to just below her ear, pulling loose strands of hair aside, His lips met the skin on her neck. she shivered next to Him. her hands fell to her lap as her eyes closed. He had her complete attention. His tongue darted out and tasted her skin. His teeth merely grazed her skin as He blew warm air across the back of her neck. His right hand reached for the coffee as He continued to move His mouth against her body. A finger dipped slightly in the coffee and He brought it to her skin. The drops of cold coffee dripped onto her skin between her collar bone and the top swell of her breast. He smiled as her back arched. His finger traced along her neck, down her shoulder, lightly caressing her skin. He watched her reaction to His touch. He saw her nipples hard and pointy under her shirt. her back arching her body into His touch. her neck had tilted to the side, exposing more for Him to taste. her breath quivered in her throat. He placed His hand against the left side of her chest and felt her heart racing. Quietly He spoke, "Are you ready to go, dear one?" she nodded her head, and He laughed at how quickly she put her computer away. He stood up and waited. she grabbed her things and stood up next to Him. her head reached His shoulder. she looked up. His hand reached out, the palm cupping her face. "Follow Me." He told her. she nodded and followed Him as He left the building. her eyes adjusted to the light as Tthey exited. He led her to His car, a 1965 cherry red Mustang hard top with black interior. she smiled at Him knowingly. He opened the door for her, and her heart flipped in her chest, a small act that had her feeling cherished and treasured. she quietly slipped into the seat and waited as He walked around the car and got in. her head was lowered, her eyes darting over to look at Him. she felt shy. she was overwhelmed, nervous, excited and aroused. He started the car, and she groaned at the purr of the engine. her body pulsed with need. she gently pulled on her knee length black skirt, making sure to be modest. His hand darted out and pulled her hand away from it. He leaned over, placing His mouth next to her ear, "you are beautiful, leave it." she stopped fidgeting and turned her face to look at Him. His hands came up and framed her face, holding her head still. He looked at her, into her eyes and allowed His feelings, His own emotions to flit through His eyes. He knew He could not tell her in words, she had to believe it herself. He showed her in His eyes and then leaning in, tangling His fingers in her hair, He pressed His lips to hers. His tongue licked across her lips, and then pushed in to part them. He tasted her. A guttural moan filled His head and echoed throughout the car. He pulled on her head, His kiss forceful, wanting her and needing her. He felt the restless need to feel her, take her, and have her. His left hand slid out of her hair, down her neck and grabbed a hold of her breast. He squeezed it in His hand, feeling the hard point of her nipple in His palm. He felt her moan zing through His body straight to His groin. His body swelled with desire for her. her right hand came up and rested on His neck, holding His head to her, returning His brutal kiss with her own hunger. Ttheir lips moved against each other, desperate. Ttheir tongues battled for tastes of each other. He could not wait any longer. His mouth left hers and trailed down her neck. His mouth sucked at her skin, His teeth nibbling none too gently down her neck. His tongue swiveled along her collar bone until He reached the small line where her breasts met. His tongue darted into the crevice licking her skin. His lips pulled back and His teeth nipped at the swell of her breast. His hand traveled down her body. His hand wrapped around her knee, pulling her slightly forward in the seat. His hand pushed between her knees, causing them to open. her musky scent filled the car. He growled in the back of His throat. His hand reached up and opened her shirt, pulling at the buttons until they were undone. Then He pulled down the cloth that covered her breast from His sight. He pulled back slightly to gaze at the full offering before Him. The nipple and areola were both light pink beckoning Him to taste. His head bent and His tongue darted out, rasping against her nipple. she arched her back off the seat a small grunt escaping her tightened vocal cords. she was on fire. she felt His hand move steadily up between her legs. His finger nails lightly grazing her thighs, causing her muscles to jump. her legs opened further, wanting His touch. her skirt hiking up her leg, and she now, did not care about being modest. she felt her body quicken at His touch. His fingers were at the top of her thigh, a hair's breath away from touching her damp panties. she felt her hips pull up off the seat, wanting and begging for His touch. He felt her body's need. His fingers lightly brushed against her sex, smiling a satisfied smile at the dampness. His tongue swirled around her nipple, pulling on it. Then, His lips met her skin and His mouth wrapped around it, beginning to suck. her nipple fit into His mouth, a hard pebble. He was aroused further by the taste of her. His body swelled even harder in His now very tight jeans. His fingers pulled at the panties that covered His prize. Grabbing a hold of the edge, He pulled them aside. His fingers felt the heat radiating form her core. His fingers grazed against her hardened clit, teasing her. The tips of His fingers were already moist with her dew. He knew she was hot and ready for Him. A picture flashed through His head, and an evil grin came to mind. His mouth suckled at her breast hard and fast. His fingers spread her lips open, wanting to prepare her. Then, His teeth clamped down on her nipple biting hard at the same time He pushed two of His fingers up into her body. He felt her body jump off the seat. she groaned loudly. her muscles clenched around His fingers, hard, pulling them into her. she was so hot to His touch, her body already so wet and ready to be His. His fingers began a steady motion, moving in and out of her. her hips lifted off the seat to meet His thrusts. His tongue swirled against her breast, traveling up her body. He reached the base of her neck where He let His tongue lick against her pulse. He felt her body shudder around His fingers. she groaned again, and quietly in a strangled voice she said, "Please, Master may i cum for You." A grin split across His face, pride at her remembering filling His heart. His mouth moved up so that He whispered in her ear, "Yes, My dear one, cum for Me now." His mouth lowered to the back of her neck as His other hand pulled her hair out of the way. His teeth sank into the spot right behind her ear. her body arched off the seat, her muscles clamping down hard around His fingers. He felt her body shuddering next to His. A growl form the back of His throat and a groan from hers filled the car as her juices began to leak out around His hand. she came for Him. her body responding to His touch, His voice, to Him. *** Sitting back, she looked at the computer screen. A tear slipped down her face at the words she had written. A desire, a fantasy still unfulfilled, her heart ached with need and desire for Him. she only wished that He had that day walked into the coffee shop, surprised her and made her cum with His touch. Silently, she packed up her computer, stood up and walked out of the coffee shop, knowing that one day she would see Him. Hoping with all her heart, that she would not disappoint Him, that Ttheir meeting would be as wonderful as her fantasies. © teddybearsubmissive2007 her Heart Ch. 07 she reread her email. A task, He had given her a task. she let out a small squeal of delight, a way to show that she was growing and learning and wanting to please Him. she was nervous, excited and scared. Would she fail Him in this simple but well thought task? she wanted to do it completely right. As soon as she read the email, her nerves were anxious. At least it was a task that she could do in the privacy of her own home. she talked with Him about it, read over every detail and knew that she would enjoy this task. she asked if she was allowed to go to do it right then, but He said no, He wanted to keep talking with her. she smiled and laughed as He did at her desire to complete the task. she would be able to complete it the next day. she hugged her arms around herself. she always felt so safe here with Him. she didn't know if she could explain it if she tried. He was an anchor when things were rough. she knew He was human and had to deal with His own life, own problems, but He never failed to calm her when things were hard. This was probably one of the reasons He had been able to continue to talk to her after all the rocky steps in the path Tthey had been traveling. she knew that she could be a bitch when she wanted to be, but with Him, He always seemed to have the upper hand. He knew exactly what to say with a sentence or two to keep her calmed down and rational. He would talk her out of anger. He would hold her when she cried. His calmness and soothing control always seemed to bring her back from the over emotional moments to more rational thought processes. she continued to lose the control she so meticulously maintained every time He did this. she often wanted to walk away when a subject got to close to pain and tears. she would try to close down and shut Him out, but He always pushed, and some how He always made His way through the barrier. she always reveled in the time He was able to give to her. Since Ttheir misunderstandings about time, Tthey did not set up specific times to talk, but she often found Him around regularly to chat. He was doing His best to make her feel secure in His presence, in the fact that He wasn't leaving. The fear was lessening every day that He would just up and disappear. her trust in Him was gaining ground and with every step forward or even every step back, Tthey worked the problems out. she felt safe, cuddled into the crook of His arm, His chin resting on her head, His arm wrapped protectively and possessively around her. she felt safe, at home there. she knew there were some who had questions and wondered about His Dominance. she didn't. she knew that there were as with all people, weaknesses or less experience in some areas, but she also knew that at least with her there was no doubt to His control. He had self control as well as a connection with her that led to a calm, quiet Dominating control of her. People often say that it takes a certain person to "click" with another. When we search around us for the person that will satisfy the need, and "click" with connection, it doesn't always happen the first time around. What might not work with one person might just as well be heaven on earth with the next person. she felt that this was where Tthey stood. If people had doubts or questions, she would gladly take them on. she was taking it slow, but she knew that He did have what she needed. she wasn't a person that would be able to submit to an arrogant, cocky, showoff. she was one that needed a person who was confident in Their own right to be quiet and calm. They didn't have to show off for other people. They just knew who they were and that was it. That was what mattered. That was who He was. she tucked this knowledge safely in her heart. her faith, her trust and her respect were growing as every trial came, every rocky patch, every calm moment. she knew in her heart that it was right and good. Time always had a way of getting away from both of Tthem when Tthey were talking. Two hours seemed like five minutes and Tthey often found time forgotten. Today, He had to leave. There was only so much time He was able to spend talking, but she was to do her task, and then sit down and write about what happened to Him. she blushed at this, but knew without doubt that she would do as He wanted. ***** The next day dawned clear and sunny. she jumped out of bed, anxious to start her task, but knowing that she must finish other tasks she had given herself first. Getting dressed, she took only a few moments to log onto the computer and catch up on blogs and messages. Then, setting off she began to clean. she washed down the shower and tub in the bathroom, cleaned the rest of the bathroom. Then moving on to the kitchen, she washed dishes, cleaned up the counters, set food out for dinner and hummed softly to herself. she could feel the tension in her body rising the closer she got to the task she had to do for Him. she vacuumed the floors, folded the laundry, and made the bed, picked up the odds and ends here and there. When she was done cleaning the entire house, she sat down and took a deep breath. she was so pleased with the outcome of the day. Smiling a secret smile, she sat back down at the computer and logged online once again. she caught up with a few friends here and there, as well as emails, messages and blogs that had been added in her time cleaning. Then laughing softly to herself, a huge grin on her face, she went to the email He had sent her. she reread every single word over and over again. she wanted to make sure she did the first task He had ever given to her perfect. she wanted to make Him proud, to please Him in her ability to follow through and do what needed to be done. she was excited, pulsing already with anticipation. Logging back off, she headed for the nice and clean bathroom. she turned on the water in the tub until it was the right temperature. The water filled the tub while she picked up four white pillar candles. Finding a lighter, she lit them one by one and set one on each corner of the tub. The light was off as directed and the ambience was already taking effect. she felt her body filled with nervous energy. she grabbed two towels from the linen closet and placed one on the sink in the bathroom. Then moving slowly, she entered the bedroom and grabbed the plastic sheet. Spreading it out on the bed, she prepared it for the second part of her task. she laid the towel over top of the plastic and then undressed. After securing her hair, she moved back into the bathroom. The tub was nice and hot, steam rose from the water. Closing both doors, she stepped into the tub. A small gasp left her body at the heat of the water on her skin. she felt the drops of perspiration from the steam begin to bead on her skin. she thought of Him, being there with her, licking, nibbling, and sucking at her skin. she slowly lowered her body into the water. As she sat down, another gasp echoed in the room around her. The water was hot against her core sending a jolt of heat through her. she felt the muscles in her body tighten. A smile broke out across her face, she felt so special, so beautiful. In her mind she thought of how smart He was. Here was a simple task to do, the first task, and in that task He had made her desire to please to her fullest capabilities, but also He had made her feel special, beautiful, and cherished. she laid back into the tub, resting her head against the edge. her eyes drifted closed and she saw Him in her mind. she saw His eyes bright and piercing into her soul and His mouth turned slightly upward in a smile. her hands reached for the soap, and she felt His fingers gliding over her skin. her hands reached down the soap slippery in her fingers. she began to rub the soap over her toes and feet, her eyes shut seeing Him. she started with her left foot rubbing the soap over her skin, feeling His hands instead of hers. Slowly, she moved up to her ankle, the inside of her calf. A small sigh escaped and she felt the temperature of the water and the temperature of her body. her skin was pink from the heat as she traveled up to the top of her knee. she took a shaky breath and moved to the other leg. Starting back at her foot, she felt the soapy suds squish through her toes and around her fingers. her hands reaching around rubbing, washing the top and bottom of her feet, He was there His fingers were hers. she moved up her right leg, stopping short of her thigh, breathing in the heat from the water, feeling the flames of the candles, watching the light flicker off the gleaming white tiles. she lay back against the back of the tub, relaxing softly. A small moan echoed in in the room. she ran the soap up the outside of her right thigh, and then, she dropped the soap. her eyes flew open, and she tried her best not to curse. her one little piece of soap was now at the bottom of the tub, floating around as she moved to look for it. she twisted this way and that looking, searching. her thoughts turned toward frustration, and she stopped to take a calming breath. This was supposed to be a relaxing and enjoyable experience. Reaching inside of herself for the peace, she began a less frantic search for the soap, finding it within seconds. A smile broke across her face, and she rested her head back against the tub. Taking a few steadying breaths, she closed her eyes and pictured Him once again. her hands moved to the inside of her right thigh, washing slowly but never touching herself. Then she switched to her left thigh, the soap wandering up and down and around her leg. Thinking quietly to herself, you can not touch until you wash everything. Sitting up she lowered her legs into the water and rinsed the soap. her hands ran up and down their entire lengths to rid her skin of the suds. Afterwards, she started splashing water up her arms and chest. she felt the rivulets run down her stomach into the water. she took a deep breath and then ran the soap up her left arm. her eyes closed and pictured Him there beside her. her hand was His washing up her arm, underneath, then reaching across her body brushing against her breasts, soaping up her right arm. her breathing picked up as she felt the tightness of her body responding to her thoughts and images. her hands moved to her breasts. The soap was slippery so she set it down. she let her soapy hands run over her neck and collar bone. Then, slowly she lowered them down to the swell of her breasts. her hands ran over the tops of them, pushing down the sides. she lifted their heaviness into her hands and washed underneath of them. her fingers moved up brushing back and forth against her hardened nipples. two fingers wrapped around each nipple and pinched them slightly between her fingers. she gasped audibly. her body went rigid with the jolt of pleasure shooting through her body. Knowing she had to do as told, she removed her hands and began splashing the hot water on her skin, washing off the soap. she felt each drop of water as it jumped onto her skin, beaded and then rolled down her body until hitting the water in the tub. she felt her back arching; small, soft whimpers were coming from her throat. she felt on top of the world. Taking a deep breath, she relaxed once again on the back of the tub. Grabbing the soap again, she spread open her legs. her breath caught in her throat as her hand traveled down to the spot between her thighs. she jumped slightly as her hand touched against herself. Slowly her hand moved in circles, washing across her mound cleaning it while thinking of His hands in the water cleaning her instead. her hips arched up slightly in the tub, wanting more of the sensation. The heat spread through her body like wildfire. Before she knew what was happening, her body arched and she felt the desire to orgasm, to cum. Suddenly, she stopped touching. Putting the soap down, she took a breath and remembered that she was not allowed to cum. Now, she had to wait five minutes before she was allowed to touch herself at all again, per His orders. she looked up at the sink and then growled softly. she had forgotten to bring a watch into the bathroom. she would have no idea how long it would be. she had already failed the task. Calmly, she rationalized that she would simply tell Him of her failure and rest until she had her body once again under control. she knew that to not finish the task because of forgetting the watch would be an even bigger problem than just simply telling Him she had forgotten. Remembering that she needed to relax and enjoy, she took a deep breath, held it for a few moments and then let it out. her eyes drifted closed and she pictured Him in her mind. she saw His face, His eyes, and His smile. she let her mind drift over all the talks and discussions that Tthey had shared. she felt her body begin to calm down from the excitement. Feeling that she was back in control of her body, she let her hands slip back to her body. she began swishing water around to clean off the soap. Then unplugging the drain, she got up and grabbed the towel. she began drying herself off. The roughened texture of the towel against her heated sensitive skin had her grinning in anticipation. she walked into the bedroom and then stopped. her mind flew back to the rules for the task. her head fell forward and she felt the desire to cry. she sat down on the bed. When she had been touching herself and found her body close to orgasm, she was suppose to have asked out loud for permission to cum and then deny herself, regain control and finish washing. she shook her head from side to side, she had forgotten to ask. she had simply stopped, waited and regained control. her head fell into her hands and she trembled with suppressed emotion. she had failed not only with the watch and time but she had failed in one of the most important parts of the task. she felt a tear slip out of her eye. her fingers reached up and brushed it away. she knew she had to complete the task even now, to completely fail and not finish at all was not an option. she positioned herself perfectly over the towel and plastic and laid back onto the bed. her eyes closed and she took a breath. her hands moved to her nipples still hardened peeks. her hands brushed against them, lightly. Then, her fingers wrapped around them and began pulling on them, pinching them between the tips. her back pulled away from the bed, pushing her breasts into her hands. she twisted her nipples, thinking of His hands being there instead of hers. her left hand drifted down her body. her legs opened and she pulled her lips open. her finger nail brushed across her clit. A whimper escaped her throat and her hips pushed into the touch. her right hand continued to play with her breasts, massaging them, pinching and pulling at her nipples. her breathing increased. she felt her pulse quickening, and her heart was beating out of her chest. her eyes closed and she thought of Him, saw Him in her mind. Then she pushed two fingers inside of her body. she knew not the elaborate ways that one was suppose to stimulate their own body, but she simply began moving her fingers in and out. her body clamped down tight around them. she could feel the heat and moisture dripping onto her fingers, surrounding their invasion into her body. These were His fingers, pushing into her. her fingers pushed in and pulled out. she felt the walls of her body tightening around the fingers as she stimulated herself more. she was moaning out load, her body writhing on the bed. she wanted to cum for Him. her mouth opened and she whispered His name. her body arched into her hands as she pulled on her breasts and her body pulsed hot and hard, her muscles clenching around her fingers. she came, her juices pouring out of her aroused body. she moaned His name as her body convulsed. she pulled her fingers out of her body. They were sticky and wet from her body. she continued to writhe on the bed, cumming for Him. Then her body shuddered and stopped. she took several deep breaths to regain a semblance of control over her rapidly beating heart. Then her eyes flew open and she swore out loud. she had forgotten again. she felt her emotions overwhelm her. she had cum and had not asked out loud for permission to do so. her hand flew up and hit her forehead. she had desired and wanted to do the task perfectly without blemish to please Him and she had failed. Even as her body came down from her orgasm, she felt the pain tearing through her soul. she knew that this part she had missed twice was an important, very important part to the task. she knew that she could simply not tell Him, in reality, but she also knew she could never hide it from Him. He deserved to know. Quietly, she stood up from the bed, cleaned herself off, got dressed and went in and sat down at the computer. Feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders she logged into her email and began to type. Doing the last part of the task, she told Him exactly what had transpired during her task. At the end of the description of the events, she told Him of her three failures. her heart ached to be able to do the task over again, to do it perfect. she wanted Him to understand her desire to please, her need to do exactly as He wanted. she had not forgotten out of spite or anger or fear or needing control. she had simply wanted it to be so perfect down to every detail that she had forgotten one of the most important parts of the task. she did not pour out her heart to Him. she did not come up with excuses. she simply stated "i humbly ask Your forgiveness. i forgot two things. i forgot the watch to make sure it was five minutes before i touched again. , and i forgot to ask for permission. i am so deeply sorry, that was an important part. Even with everything else i have done today, i feel i have failed. . Thank You for Your thoughtfulness in giving me this task to do for You. It was beyond my expectations to carry it through." she closed out the email and waited His reply. she was torn. she was so happy to have completed her first task, but she was beating herself up for failing to have it perfect. © teddybearsubmissive2007