0 comments/ 34136 views/ 1 favorites Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 01 By: cdhawkeye96a Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony – Chapter 1 See "Life's Cruel Irony" for context. This is a continuation upon the marriage of Jeff and Pam. This story deals with the impact the marriage has upon three couples. ****** When the minister said, "if there is anyone who objects to the joining of this woman to this man, let them speak now or forever hold their peace," Doris tried to muster the courage to speak, "Jeffery and Pamela you cannot wed. You are brother and sister." Yet the courage she sought disappeared like the morning mist under a blazing sun. There was no delicate way to utter her objection without bring ruination to all. In shame Doris' declaration remained unspoken. Life in its cruel irony had visited great sorrow upon her heart for her affair with Vince, Pamela's father. That day when lust and passion ruled, Vince and Doris conceived Jeff. On the second evening the cool reality hit Doris hard. The affair was a mistake. She knew within her heart that she loved Royce deeply. She knew she loved him with equal depth even though he had been neglecting her needs for five months. She lost control of her rational self. Lust caused her to violate her vow of marital fidelity. She had put her marital happiness at risk. She pledged she would not repeat her mistake. Though Doris constantly wished she could undo that wayward afternoon, her love for the son conceived that day never wavered. Almost two years later Vince pressed her to be his lover once again. Though Doris refused, having crossed that line once frequently created a tension within her when she was around him. The vivid memories of their passion did not help. Eventually, the line was crossed again two months before Jeff's fourth birthday. Vince's seductive words were mixed with an implied threat of exposure. At the end of a long week she was already feeling depressed when an early Friday evening telephone call from her husband added self-doubt and anxiety to the mix. Her husband called to say his return flight from Denver was cancelled due to a blizzard and it would be two, maybe three days before he would get home. At the end of the call Royce asked her to inform Vince that he could not meet Saturday for breakfast because the storm. When her husband said Vince had an important family matter to discuss with him away from their homes a large pit formed in her stomach and she had difficulty speaking. All Royce knew was that it could affect their future. Doris could only think of one thing: Vince was going to carry out his threat. Envisioning the worst when Vince propositioned her during the call she agreed to meet. Her marital vow was torn. She did not enjoy the sex that first time, nor the second time five months later. Her heart was not in it. There was no passion, no desire, no lust nor love. She felt used and cheap. When she looked at her sleeping children she justified her actions by telling herself that she was protecting her family from dissolving. When she pressed Vince to wear a condom he laughed that he had a vasectomy three years prior. Since, Doris had found herself in Vince's arms once or twice a year for an evening or afternoon. It was not until the third year that she realized Vince too would be putting his marriage at risk too if he followed through on his threat. To her surprise Vince laughed when she called him on his threat. He laughed that Tara allowed him to have other lovers as Tara was not interested in sex. She permitted him to satisfy his animal urges with other women as long as he would be discreet, he did tell her who and it was no more than a couple times a year. He smiled, "though she does not want to know, she once suggested that I should fuck you." Being a naturally submissive person, Doris acquiesced. Though over the years she questioned whether Vince's claim was true, she was not willing to call the bluff. It was not a subject she could just raise with Tara. Though Doris was reluctant those first years, she rationalized that if she was trapped she should enjoy the pleasure. Though the pleasure of their coupling did momentarily waylay her angst, days later she would inevitably become depressed, sometimes for weeks. She constantly searched for a way out. She hired an investigator to see if he could unearth some secret about Vince. Alas, her limited fees were quickly exhausted before anything was uncovered. When Jeff was about to be twelve, Doris thought of a possible answer to her problem. Simple she thought, get Vince and Tara involved. She did not like the idea of her husband being with Tara, but was willing if it would help end Vince's control over her. Vince found flaws. He noted she would be risking Royce's wrath if he learned the truth. The biggest problem was that Tara was a cold fish and Royce would feel he got the short end. Vince speculated that because of Tara Royce would either want to leave Doris or open their marriage up to include many others because he was would not be satisfied by Tara. Opening herself to other lovers revolted her so she dropped the idea. Though the affair allowed Doris to push her sexuality beyond what happened at home, she was still a reluctant participant. Vince and his dominating personality had a way of stirring her imagination and base desires. Yet, the difference made her appreciate her husband's lovemaking skills all the more. ********* On her daughter's wedding day Tara's heart was carried with joy as if she was a feather on the wind. As she watched the newlyweds dance she was elated by Pam's choice of a husband. She could not understand why her husband had been so negative about Pam dating Jeff. They were a lovely match. Jeff's personality was so much like his father, kind, gracious and thoughtful. He carried himself with confidence without being arrogant. He was broader in the shoulders than Royce and a little taller, but he had Royce's blue eyes. Being drawn from her seat by her husband brought the mother of the bride momentarily out of her thoughts. Once dancing in his arms and seeing the bride and groom while looking over her husband's shoulder caused her to again recall her youth and meeting Vince. As a high school student she caught Vince's attention during a visit to the local community college. His blue eyes, bright smile, angular face and muscled body caused her heart to flutter. It was only a matter of days before he telephoned and asked her out. Though she regretted how quickly their physical relationship developed, she always reminded herself that she would have married that July even if she had not been pregnant. She smiled that her daughter's marriage was getting off to better start. She and Vince did not have much time to become a couple before they were a family by Thanksgiving. She also hoped that Jeff would be more attentive to her needs and desires as the years passed than Vince had been to hers. Though she told herself she loved Vince, Tara had been feeling increasingly distant from her husband. The closeness and tenderness in their relationship had become thinner over the years. Seeing how Jeff interacted with Pam, the looks of admiration and love upon his face she wondered if Vince loved her anymore or if he truly loved her at all. As such a thought was more appropriate for another time, it was quickly pushed from her mind so she could just enjoy her daughter's joyous day. ************* Following the wedding, Doris fell into going through daily duties by automation. She slept well past nine each morning and stayed up near or just past midnight. Though she was up in the rotation for teaching the summer high school, she willingly gave the opportunity to a young teacher. Though she accepted the marriage, life's cruel irony weighed upon her. The third Sunday following the wedding Doris headed to the cottage Tara had inherited from her grandfather. The urgent matter Vince wanted to discuss when Royce was stranded in Denver was an invitation to time-share the cottage by buying a third stake. The foundation and the septic system needed serious repairs and the Andersons could not afford all the repairs. If she had only known, her relationship with Vince may never have recommenced. Royce started a two week vacation a week later. In the meantime she would be alone as Tara and Vince were off visiting her parents on the Outer Banks. Wednesday morning Doris was shocked by the image in the mirror. Her hair was unkempt. Sunken eyes and pale skin from a lack of quality sleep gave her a drugged look. At that moment Doris realized she was moving rapidly toward a deep depression. After a hot shower, she paddled her kayak along the lake for nearly four hours. During her journey she listened to the birds, watched the wildlife and observed the diversity and beauty of life. She needed to be in her personal life more like she was in her professional life. At the school she was clear and took charge. Her mind suddenly recalled what she often told her students, "life always has problems, some are nice problems to have, some are not so nice. Regardless of the problem, the questions are the same. Are you going to allow it to unduly control you and rob you of your joy? Is the problem that big that it should control or even destroy your future? Or are you going to take charge and set a positive direction?" She reminded herself to practice what she taught. As she watched her paddle leave the water, which quickly displayed no sign of having been disturbed, she thought that she should be like the water. She would accept the effects of life's impacts, respond quickly and close around the disturbed areas, then show no trace of the impact once the ripples ended. At that moment she felt a burden lift. She was not going to allow her shame to control her. Wednesday evening and Thursday she worked vigorously to clean the grounds and the cottage. Friday, a 9:00 AM visit to the hair salon and spa at an upscale resort helped immensely. The makeover helped to seal her transformed spirits. A trip to two local boutiques completed her preparation. She hummed and sang as she drove back to the cottage. Arriving at the lake just before 3:30 she noticed the blinking light on the answering machine. Wendy, Royce's secretary, said her husband had left the office at 3:10. ************* Things that day did not go as planned for Royce to leave at one o'clock. His boss asked for a thirty minute meeting at one-thirty. The meeting lasted nearly an hour and then he had to connect with two of his staff to give them new assignments. By the time he got to his car, the expressway traffic was starting to build, which delayed him further in getting north of the city. By the time he got to the edge of the city, northbound traffic was heavier than he desired. Yet, he was pleased to be ahead of the crawling cottage traffic that he would have found if he had left at 4:40, as usual. As he drove, Royce's thoughts moved from his recent promotion to his wife. Thinking of Doris usually brought a smile to his face. This time he frowned. If he had to do a performance evaluation on the current state of their marriage the evaluation could not be any better than marginally acceptable. While he could not say why, his wife was occasionally depressed and distant, more so in the last year. There was a tension that was pushing them slowly apart. He could not for the life of him identify the nature and issue, and efforts to get her to talk were rebuffed. Since New Year's, Doris was even moodier and her melancholy periods were more pronounced and more frequent. He asked himself aloud, "do I still love her?" He recalled scenes from their dating and first years of marriage. Those were happy days. They were so in love and free with high energy to match their big dreams. Royce and Doris met in a fall educational psychology class during his sophomore year. She was a lively, vivacious junior education student. He was a quiet business administration major with a minor in psychology. It was not until two months later, while volunteering one Saturday at a local nonprofit agency, that he asked her out on their first date. It was not long before he was aware though they seemed so different, they meshed well and shared similar views on a host of issues. He also learned that though Doris projected self-confidence, she was also very sensitive to how others viewed her. Another which irritated him but he learned to accept was that she desired for him to make a range of relationship decisions. Eventually, they came to dialogue and arrive at mutual decisions, but there were always moments when she would just relinquish control to him. What attracted him most was how her encouragement made him feel good about himself and the passion she had for him. Royce laughed at how quickly he fell in love with Doris. Soon after they started dating he was thinking each day of nothing more than to bring a gleam to her eyes. It was natural for him to love and protect her. Because his parents taught him to respect a lady and not to manipulate women, Royce did not seduce Doris into his bed. Though he knew he could manipulate her into his bed, he did not do so. Instead he sought to empower her and build her self esteem so she gave less concern about the opinions of others. They decided together to wait until the time was right to have sex. When he asked her to marry him in April, they knew that the right time would not be until their wedding night. They wedded a week after his graduation the following May. They focused upon getting themselves established and advancing in their professional lives. Royce put in longer hours than expected and was promoted. The second promotion gave him the opportunity to transfer to the city near the town of his youth. Unfortunately, only his sister remained in the area as his parents had relocated to Arizona three years before. As he drove, Royce laughed and cried inwardly as he recalled the family joys and disappointments they shared together. He maintained the yard and worked hard to keep the house and their pool in good repair. Every morning and evening, weather permitting, Royce swam laps for a half hour. Life was not exciting but it was good, with each settling into defined roles. Every day they told each other that they loved the other, held hands and were passionate in their love for one another. He was proud that twice Doris won the "Teacher of Year Award" given by the local weekly paper. Though they cuddled often and supported each other without question, there were days when Doris' joie de vivre was gone. He often wondered if he had done something to hurt her. For months he thought it may have been because he had looked lustfully at Randi, a young neighbor, and Tara during a party. He had drunk too much and found himself openly lusting the two neighbors. He dismissed this possibility two years later when he could not discover any pattern in his actions or words that brought on her downcast periods. As he was filling the car with gas he recalled that Doris' negative periods started around the birth of Jeffery. Since the birth of their son, Doris's figure had become softer and rounded. Her thin torso and narrow waist were memories recalled in pictures. Yet, the more developed, mature Doris stirred him repeatedly. Until that moment he had never traced the changes to the birth of Jeff. Biological developments and biochemical changes could explain her swings. The realization disturbed him and comforted him. Royce was troubled that he had not caught it before. Yet, he was comforted that her mood changes were likely biologically rooted. With that new insight he knew he would be more patient and understanding. Yet, still hanging was the question, "do I still love her?" He was haunted by the question until he came to the country road leading to the lake. He pulled onto the shoulder at the crest of the hill. As he stood by the car and took in the vista with the shimmering lake surrounded by a blanket of green Royce realized that though the passion was not expressed the same as in their younger years, he definitely loved his wife dearly. He would feel empty if she was not in his home and in his bed. He smiled and nodded. He took a deep breath as he realized that the passions and the expression of their love had changed and deepened over the years. His desire to bring Doris only happiness and fulfillment remained unchanged even if the means and expression had changed. Without thinking he would put himself in harm's way to protect her. He could not fault his wife for the state of their marriage if he had not been patient and understanding. As with most relationship issues, when it came to lovemaking Doris more often than not waited for him to take the lead. As he continued to look at the vista he remembered that his wife could be a dynamic excited lover when he pushed the right buttons. She had a wild side that she kept in check. Occasionally her wildness flared, when her passion was high and she let herself just go. They did not cuddle as frequently or walk through the malls holding hands as often. He had been negligent in taking the initiative whether holding hands in the mall, cuddling in the living room or being intimate in the bedroom. Royce accepted responsibility for not fueling Doris' fire. Leaning against his car he decided he needed to be more intentional with his. It was past time to rediscover the passion of the early years. Upon his arrival at the cottage Royce found the barbeque tools spread on the deck table. The barbeque was ready to be fired. His wife, who was taking a bath behind a locked door, called out that the steaks were in the refrigerator. Returning with the cooked T-bones, he found Doris standing by the table dressed in a deep pink satin lingerie gown. His eyes fell upon the fruit that rested within the deep V-neck. As she opened a bottle of Merlot, he smiled, knowing that she had the same thoughts on her mind. Throughout the meal they said very little as they gazed into each other's eyes in the candle light. Doris studied her husband's face afresh. It had been too long since she studied the features of his face and smile. After opening a second bottle, Doris rose. She led her husband over to the sofa and the crackling fireplace. Sitting Royce upon the sofa, she positioned herself across his lap. With her arms around his neck Doris kissed her husband. Their mouths parted as they continued to kiss with a growing depth of love and need. Her right hand danced through his hair as the other stroked his back. Between kisses she was placing on his neck, she whispered expressions of love. Her eyes locked upon his as she slithered down him and onto her knees. His eyes widened as she took a subservient position before him. Ever so slowly, she undid his belt, his pants and drew them, along with his boxers, down and over his feet. She could not recall when she had last done this for her husband. She thought it had been too long since she had serviced him in this manner. Starting with her lips on his left knee she sensuously created a trail of kisses toward his yet untouched manhood. All along the entire erotic trail to his hard cock her eyes remained fixed upon his. Royce not only relished the experience but was thrilled by his wife's initiative. Taking the initiative in such a subservient manner excited him. He found himself excited by the idea of his wife becoming subservient to him at her initiative. In her mind she was not showing initiative as much as affirming and demonstrating her love, that she would be willing to love him in any manner he so desired. She loved her man, even though many would say otherwise by her actions. In a distorted sense of logic, she felt that what she was doing with Vince was because of her love for her husband. Vince was a threat to their happiness and fulfillment. Now that she had crossed the line, she would do anything to protect her husband from the painful truth. Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 01 She savored his taste before taking rolling her tongue around the head before taking him to the entrance of her throat. As her mouth surrounded the tip of his cock Royce noticed a gleam in his wife's eye, a gleam that had not been witnessed for longer than he could remember. This gleam was a mixture of erotic joy and a little bit of nastiness. Her nasty look was created by an unvoiced thought. Years ago, to appease her conscience, she hoped that he also had been unfaithful. She doubted that he'd ever had an affair. Yet, as the thought again crossed her mind it created the nasty twinkle her husband saw. Royce did not realize that her nasty look was brought about the thought of the possibility that another set a lips may have engulfed the cock. What brought about the gleam was the surprise that she was not revolted by the thought of another set of lips enjoying her man. As Royce enjoyed the pleasure of her warm succulent mouth he closed his eyes. Feeling her slide her mouth up and down his shaft he recalled their eighth anniversary, a night when his wife was wild with lust and energy. Then her eyes flared with wanton desire. Having been on an extended business trip, he also was wild with eagerness. A reading in a men's magazine fueled his mind. He became more and more demanding and she responded again and again to his demands. That night was not only wild, its impression was burned deeply into his memory for eternity. Though he longed for more of those moments, and though there had been those momentary flashes of her wildness and wantonness, they had been rare. Yet, when those moments of wildness did occur Doris was in a zone of unbridled passion and pleasure. Regretfully, he could not bring this passionate desire out of her more than every year or so. There always seemed to be something holding her back. He also realized that he had not become unguardedly demanding as he was on that night. Royce looked upon his wife as she aggressively engulfed and then released his hard cock repeatedly. At the age of forty-eight she had matured and was curvy but she was still erotic and beautiful. He felt a stirring within his groin. He moaned. His moment rapidly approached. Doris knew the sign well. Allowing him to cum this quickly was not her plan for tonight. She wanted something more. She wanted to get him to the edge and keep him there. She wanted the night and their time at the cottage to be memorable. Allowing him to cool down slightly, she took her time before sitting astride his lap and lifting up the bottom of her red gown. Neither could see what was happening but both enjoyed the feeling of her moist channel of love sliding back and forth along the length of his hard shaft. He tried to move his hips so that his hard cock would pop into her. She continued to frustrate him by masturbating him with her pussy lips. The pleasure of their connection in this fashion caused them both to moan. The ridge of his cock's and his head sliding across her clitoris drove pleasurable sensations to shoot out into the interior of her pussy and to her abdomen. While the heart of their sexes masturbated each other, Royce's hands were busy fondling his wife's breasts through her silk gown. After several minutes, his hands exposed her breasts. He moved his face into her for a longing kiss. One lengthy kiss moved into another, and that into another. When their kisses finally broke to give themselves breath, his mouth moved to her left breast. He licked and toyed with every cell of her breast. He took her other breast in his hand gently caressed it with his finger tips. His pointer finger gently passed over her right nipple before gently squeezing it between the finger and his thumb. The pinching of her firm nipple drew forth from Doris a loud moan of pleasure. She could not help groaning loudly. Doris closed her eyes as she continued to cry her encouragement to her husband. Moving from one to the other, he feasted upon her breasts and nipples with his mouth, tongue and lustful warm breath. His feasting was as if he was coming off a lengthy hunger strike. She accepted it with delight. He moved back and forth from one to the other as her hips continued to soak his shaft with her bountiful love potion. As Royce satisfied her and himself on her left breast for a third time she raised her hips. His manly shaft sprang skyward unaided. In a dance mastered together over twenty-seven years together his hot shaft shot as a guided missile into her womanly core. She cried forth from the depth of her soul her satisfaction. She welcomed him home. She closed her eyes just enjoying that this is where he belongs. A quiet mewing of pleasure sounded from her throat. Together their sexual tango moved slowly. The tango's tempo increased steadily. Within minutes the beat became more urgent and so did their desire for satiation. She had already cum once and just was cumming again as she felt him thrusting hard up into her uterine lips. The feeling of him pounding upon her inner core compelled Doris to scream louder than she had screamed in many a long year. Her animal was released and was not going to be tamed until it had finished its mission. She cried out as her warm pussy drenched his hard shaft. Their pubic bones continued to thrust into each other. Their longing was being fulfilled in their joining. Her hips were in constant motion. Her breathing was rapid but she was not aware of its pace as she moved up and down as she rotated her pussy upon his shaft. She was taking herself to another climax. She wanted this one to arrive just as her husband's. Royce could have just sat still letting his wife hips move upon him and enjoyed the pleasure of her channel of love, but he could not help driving his hard shaft into her center. He felt himself hitting upon her inner pussy lips. With his hands upon her hips he took command of the pace and the moment of their release. As he took charge and hit home into her inward womanhood the look in her eyes became wild and animal-like. The primal and primitive yearnings were ruling her. They too were driving him. She was uttering repeatedly for him to go harder and to make her cum. He took his hand and two figures toyed and rubbed her hard clit as the middle figure moved beyond and up into her pussy. Feeling his finger enter her, pulling her open even more, to have his finger moving independently from his cock brought her even higher. Her wide eyes widened even more before rolling back into her head before closing. Her lust upon her face was higher than he had witnessed in many years. It was a look that excited him. It was a look that drove him wild. For some reason he could not articulate at that moment, seeing her in such a state of ecstasy filled him with manly joy. It was something that he desired to see again and again. It was something that he wanted to see more than his own climax. He took great pleasure in seeing his wife being so driven and satisfied. Royce was becoming overwhelmed by the feeling of his cock's tip pushing against her inner gates. Her glazed eyes drew his own animal passion from within himself. He was thrilled when his wife started to howl forth her joy. His breathing quickened as her panting became more ragged. Just after she started to cry aloud, "yes, harder," he felt the rush of his manly fluid stirring. When she cried out that she was a horny woman who only wanted to be used for his pleasure, he threw his lips upon her succulent lips. The kiss was raw. Their tongues fought and affirmed their love, lust and passion for the other. Mid-kiss, Royce grunted and moaned that he was about to cum. In response, his wife called for him to cum as she too was about to cum. Her legs and thighs quaked. He could see her legs begin to twitch as she impaled herself downward. Her heaving breasts danced around and around. She was lost in the moment. Seeing and feeling his wife in this moment of great pleasure drove him over. A joyous husband exploded inside his wife as if he was a great volcano. She cried nonsense syllables as a joyous climax washed through her. Their mutual quivering and quaking bodies slowly settled as they blissfully held each other. They listened to the crackling wood and their beating hearts, and, holding each other tightly, they remained intimately connected. No words were spoken. No words were needed. Their connection and drawing out of each other's satiation in a wonderful life shaking manner spoke their love more eloquently than pages of feeble words. When they disengaged ten minutes later, he asked her to stay while put more wood on the fire and fetched two sleeping bags. Royce's legs still quivered as he returned to his wife with the sleeping bags and the large sponge pad. In the meantime, she poured more wine. As he approached he muttered to his wife, "wow" and "thank you. You are the greatest." It seemed so natural for them to sleep that night before the fire as it symbolized their evening and passion. As Doris lay in her husband's arms, she thought she was fortunate to be married to Royce. She did not regret marrying him. The greatest sadness which had overwhelmed her seemed to be a distant memory. Royce was at peace with his relationship with his wife. He hoped that the passion they had just experienced would continue beyond the night. He relished the wild look and passion she exhibited. He wanted to see that again, but at that moment he could not think of how to bring it forth. He remembered another wild moment from six years before. That night was a night to connect after a long ten day trip to Europe. After dinner she wanted to go to a club. They danced and drank. Doris drank much more than usual. As they sat there they both noticed several lovely figured ladies dancing not much more than ten feet away. Doris asked him with a distinct slur "what's it like to suck a breast?" He did not know how to respond and she did not press him for an answer. That night, in bed, she was a tigress. That question and the wild passion of that night continued to play upon his mind. Now, he had another night to add to the mix. Yet he felt he was still missing one or two pieces to help him to unlock such passion and energy more regularly. He fell asleep, contented that at least it did surface every few years. As her sated husband drifted off into dreamland tears formed in Doris's eyes. These were tears of sorrow, sorrow for putting her marriage at risk. She could not explain how part of her desired to be taken so strongly and given release, allowed to be free and wild in the manner demanded by Vince. She was satisfied by her husband, yet there was more she craved and dreamed. Tonight she experienced some of what she wanted from her husband. She wanted more of it. Within her central being she cried for her husband to bring forth this part of her needs, not Vince. The problem had been how to get her husband to know of her need and to help him. She just could not blurt it out for fear of a plethora of potential follow-up questions. Doris knew she had been lucky that no one had discovered her affair, and she was going to protect her secret even if it meant not sharing her full desires with her husband. Mingled with the tears of sorrow where also tears of joy. Her relationship with Royce was still strong and well. She was still trying to find a way to end the affair while protecting her marriage and family. For now, those issues could be put off until another day. For now, she was content, happy and free of concern because of their glorious love making. Those two weeks served as spring air for Doris. She felt alive and bloomed. Royce loved the rejuvenated passionate Doris. He became more attentive and sought to push her hot buttons. Unfortunately, that September Vince started to be more demanding in frequency. He now had something else as leverage. Yet in her mind Doris was able to relegate that part of her to an alter ego. She continued to think that little damage had been done. In the months following the wedding Doris adjusted to her guilt and gave it little thought until the day in early April when Jeff and Pam excitedly announced, "Mom, Dad, you are going to be grandparents." To be continued Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 02 For Pamela, her marriage to Jeffrey was a dream come true. All their lives they had lived across the street from each other. Jeff and Pam knew well each other's failings and personality quirks. More importantly, they knew how to complement each other's strengths. Not only did she and her husband share many common interests and values, as teenagers their dreams evolved to the point that they merged into common dreams. Jeff became her hero when he came to her aid at a party during her senior year. Zack, her boyfriend of a year tried to bully her into having sex with him and one of his friends. Of to the side of room, yet still very public, Zack was belittling her and molesting her. She still remembered how Jeff took off his own shirt to replace her ripped blouse. He spoke strongly and forcefully to the senior. His comments endeared him to her and caused many other girls at the party to wish they had a male friend or boyfriend who could say the same. Not batting an eye to the stronger and taller student he said, "you have no right to pluck a precious flower without her willingness. Women to be worshipped, honored and loved. Neither Pam nor any woman is an object to be claimed, owned and used. Your loutish behavior has invalidated any words of love you have whispered to her. Now get lost before I do something we will both regret." That mid-April night was the night when she first saw him as the lover of her soul. Within a week she asked if she would be her escort to the prom. At the time, even though Pam was nearly two inches taller than Jeff, he never felt uncomfortable with her. Nor was he concerned about her stronger academic abilities. Jeff encouraged her to start working on her Masters in Arts part-time in curriculum studies immediately following graduation. He was proud of her talents and abilities, even reminding her that she should go for a Ph.D. Pam appreciated her husband's coolness under pressure and his empathetic abilities. His insights into human nature and interpersonal dynamics never ceased to amaze her. He often sensed when a person was hurting before a tear formed. A valuable tool in business, he knew when a person's bluster was masking fear and a weak position. In late May, following Jeff's college graduation they married. Rather than uprooting her from her prized junior high position Jeff accepted a position driving an errand and supply truck for a construction company. Three interviews over the summer never worked out as someone with more experience or charisma was seeking the same position. In mid September, while he waited in the bank lobby for an interview, Mr. Hart the President of his company, Hart Construction emerged from the bank's Vice-President's office. Though Frank Hart did not know Jeff personally he recognized the young man as one of his employees who was held in high regard by his office manager for being reliable. Frank sat down and conversed with Jeff, whereupon he learned that Jeff was interviewing for a small business loan officer position. Frank became impressed with Jeff's clarity as well as his views on fiscal management and business expansion. Frank looked at Jeff's resume. When Jeff was called by the secretary, Frank asked Jeff to not to accept any offer until he had a chance to talk with him in his office. That morning, Hart Construction received significant financing that would allow it to add a commercial division to the highly successful residential division. Frank offered Jeff a position that afternoon with the new division at a pay rate he could not refuse. Three months later a shocked look appeared on Jeff's face when Mr. Hart informed him that he was being moved into another position with a salary increase of 27%. Mr. Hart said, "Jeff, our business is based upon quality employees. When I find a thoughtful person with insight and integrity I will provide them opportunities for increased responsibility and with an amply rewarding salary. As you thrive and succeed so will my business. Never forget it is people who work under you who make your business grow. This salary is intended to say that I want you to remain with Hart for a very long time. And if you continue to perform future salary increases and bonuses will provide you with a good life." Jeff and Pam were thrilled by their fortune professionally and personally. In mid-October as they entered the second year of marriage Pam had to come off her birth control pills for four to five months so that it would not conflict with another medication. Jeff was more than willing to use a condom, but after the second time with a condom Pam missed the warmth of his release. She missed the feeling of his intimate contact with her. Within the week she started to use the diaphragm while telling herself and Jeff they would avoid having sex during her most fertile period. Theory held and actual practice are not always the same, particularly for a young couple who enjoyed sex as much as they. A winter storm that closed down schools for two days and cancelled Jeff's 75 mile trip was their undoing. For two days the young couple behaved as if they were on their honeymoon. In late March Pam sat her husband down to inform him that she was two months pregnant. Though they both wanted to have four children they did not plan to have their first for another two years. Yet like most young couples, they celebrated the news and adjusted their plans. The whole family was happy for them, except Jeff's mother. Though Doris congratulated the couple, Jeff and Pam once again sensed coolness from his mother. Doris' lack of warmth toward her daughter always perplexed them. Pam's father too was not warm on Jeff at the beginning but he warmed as their wedding approached. The young couple put Jeff's mother's attitude toward the news down to her being concerned for Royce who just five weeks before underwent heart surgery and his slow recovery. They also thought that Doris was not yet emotionally prepared to carry the title "grandmother". On the first Saturday in August Pam's college opened its new education building and a refurbished student center. Pam was invited as she had been one of the prime student leaders who articulated the need for a modernized student center and a new education building to replace a 89-year old building that last was renovated in the early 60s. Since Doris served on one of the alumni solicitation committees she too attended the ribbon cutting events. During the reception Doris was speaking with Tim, the Dean of Students. Not only had Tim been Pam's professor for two courses, he also had counseled her on tensions she had with Doris and her father over dating Jeff. Tim helped her to see the importance of keeping their dating relationship low profile until they both clearly knew of their love and were going to marry. He also encouraged them to not let their physical relationship mature faster than their emotional relationship. Jeff also had great respect for this fifty-something clergyman and professor. In appreciation for his words of wisdom and encouragement Tim served as the Master of Ceremony at their reception. When Pam saw her mother in tears during the reception and being guided down a hallway to an empty room she moved to help. Regardless of Doris' coolness, she had warm feelings and concerns for her mother-in-law. Until she and Jeff started to date Doris had been like a second mother to her. As she approached the door Pam heard her mother between sobs cry, "I.....I cannot be happy for them......How can I be.....when I know what I have done to them?" She froze. When Tim asked what she meant and Doris chocked out between tears, "Jeff and Pam....oh my...they....they are.... brother and sister." Suddenly Pam felt weak as Doris confessed her affair with her father. This pregnant mother was drunk with confusion leaned against the wall as she listened to her mother. Between sobs Doris explained how she was devastated when Pam and Jeff became engaged but felt powerless in speaking out without destroying two families and exposing her sin. She admitted that if they were not siblings she would be filled with joy for them. She admitted that she loved Pam. But now that Pam was expecting, if there was anything wrong with the baby she knew it was her fault. Pam could hear the pain and guilt oozing out in Doris' cries and tone. Doris wondered how could she ever be forgiven for what she had done. Doris rambled about what happened that one summer and that Vince had since been blackmailing her for sex. Pam was shocked to hear that her father claimed that her mother allowed him to have other women if he was discrete. Tara, Vince claimed, allowed him to be with other women because she hated sex and was a poor sex partner for her husband. Pam was alarmed about that statement because she knew her parents often had sex and that from the sound of it her mother was anything but a poor lover. She questioned whether Tara's claims. Tears started to roll down Pam's cheeks as Doris explained that she and Vince had been lovers on a regular basis for years. She claimed that he threatened to tell her husband if she did not sleep with him several times a year. Doris confessed that she had come to enjoy sex with Vince and that he unleashed desires she did not allow to be expressed with Royce. Doris said she loved her husband but has found herself in a situation beyond her control. She cried that Vince's demands had gotten worse since the marriage of their children as now he had something else with which to blackmail her. She wanted it to end but felt powerless. Pam could not take anymore and stirred herself to leave. She had heard more than enough. As she took the first step away she heard that Vince was waiting for Tara back at her motel. Pam was no longer puzzled why her mother traveled to campus a day early and was staying over an extra night. Almost by remote and in no condition to see her mother, Pam made her way to a little grove of maple and oak trees by the creek that ran past the library. As during her college days, the little grove once again became her place of refuge. It took her over two hours to gather herself together and head home. As she sat in the grove Pam's head and heart were awash with conflicting thoughts and feelings. Hate toward Doris dominated. Yes, her father could appear so charming in public and yet be manipulative at home. Yes, he played mind games but they were never of the type Doris claimed. Pam could not see her father controlling and blackmailing Doris. Doris had to be making that up as her father would not be so cold and unloving. Doris had to have been the one to seduce her father, and to have kept the relationship going all these years. Pam concluded that Doris was rationalizing in her mind that she was powerless as her father was the one who dominated her. There was anger toward her father but not hate. As she walked to her car she began to have doubts about her father's character as she remembered the number of times when he was absent from home for reasons she suspected were not true. If Doris was a pawn in her father's game Pam could see how Doris could feel trapped. A chill shot through her when Pam thought that if her mothers claim was right then there was an unknown side to her father. Still, it was easier to believe that Doris was lying. Yet, the nagging question that she could not dismiss pestered her, "why would she be lying if she was confessing?" Tears started to roll down her cheek once again as she sat in her car. Pam was uncertain why she was crying. Was it because she sympathized with Doris? Was it because she feared that she was about to discover the extent of her father's depravity? Was it because she feared that she was about to discover that her mother was a pathological liar? She realized that those were some of what crushed her heart under a heavy weight, but they were not the main ones. She was crying because her marriage to the love of her life and to her child's father could be about to end. With her mind was filled with conflicting thoughts she turned right instead of left when she drove out of the parking lot. She did not notice her error until four miles later as she approached the apartment she once shared with two other girls. Before turning around she stopped for gas. Her heart raced and her breathing became shallow as she noticed two familiar cars at the Sunset Inn across the street. She already knew more that she wanted to know. As she finished filling the tank, Pam saw her mother rush out of a room followed by her father. As they argued Pam noticed her digital camera on passenger seat. The camera fell from her hand when she saw her father slap Doris. Doris was strongly held by the wrist and pushed her toward a well dressed woman standing against the door jam. She took two more pictures of the other woman leaning forward to give Doris a kiss. She saw her father say something to Doris before she was pushed to kiss the other woman. This kiss lasted a little longer before the three entered the room once again. Pam pulled into the motel and was going to pound on the door but instead drove away. She had more than enough knowledge to process. Blissful ignorance was long gone. As she drove home Pam's mind was awash with feelings and thoughts. She had just witnessed her father striking and forcefully holding her mother. He was cheating on her mother not with just another woman, but two women at that. She was not yet certain of the significance of what she had just witnessed but her early opinion of her mother-in-law softened and her feelings toward her father turned toward the ugly side. It appeared that there was a very dark side to her father, a side that Doris unfortunately knew and feared. Knowing now that she was married to her half-brother, Pam felt conflicted. Fortunately, Jeff was out of town for two more days inspecting potential sites for three office complexes his firm was erecting in two different towns 90 miles away. It quickly became clear that though she loved her parents, she loved her husband more than anything or anyone else. Her relationship with Jeff took priority. He and the baby were her world. And she and the baby were his. Jeff is not only her husband, but her best friend, confidant and soul mate. Jeff being a wonderful lover was a blessed delight and bonus. No man has ever come close to moving her heart, body and mind like Jeff. They held no secrets from one another. Now she wondered if this news should be the exception. Telling him could bring their marriage to an end as she was wise enough to know that you could never know how a person would react to this type of news. Yet holding it as a secret would eventually undermine their relationship. Their relationship could potentially grow in different directions. And there was the possibility that in the heat of an argument, or in one of those desert movements all couples experience, she could inadvertently tell him. If that happened, the damage of withholding it from him would be worse than the news itself. Pam felt damned if she did and damned if she did not. She decided not to tell her husband and take the calculated risk. Her instinct was to remain silent to protect her marriage and child from harm. She reasoned that silence was an ally. Hours later Pam was suddenly struck by the irony as that remaining silent to protect the family had gotten her mother in so much trouble. Such a realization gave her pause to learn from Doris' error. Following a baby kicking episode, Pam chose to tell her husband. A sudden panic for her child hit Pamela like a mighty wave. Though the chances of abnormalities were still low, they were now many times higher. Holding her arms across her tummy she closed her tearing eyes and prayed for her child in more earnestness than ever before in her life. She and Jeff longed to have three to four children. Now their plans would have to end with their first. She cried herself asleep at that thought. When she arose the next morning Pam knew four things lay ahead. She would be breaking the news to Jeff. The how and when could wait a few days to be formulated but it would happen. She felt love and pity for her mother and Royce. She found a growing contempt toward her father for his deceit and selfishness. She could not honor her father with the Anderson tradition. The Anderson tradition was the passing of the paternal father's name into another family line by incorporating Vince's name into name of her first male born. Each Anderson female was well schooled in the importance of the tradition. Pam still had unsettled feelings toward her mother and whether she would honor the other Anderson tradition of including the paternal mother's name in the first girl to be born. Before her husband returned Pam collected her thoughts and reviewed her options on paper. This was an exercise she learned from Tim as a means to process her way through complex issues while in the midst or turmoil when feelings could misguide. She retrieved from their desk an envelope containing individual and family goals she and Jeff had listed three months prior to her marriage. Pam wrote furiously page after page her thoughts and feeling. She reviewed their life goals and added some new ones under her name. Her eyes repeatedly fell upon the line written at the top of each sheet, "do you want to allow your past to control you or do you want to let it go and control your future?" That teaching from college was never more needed than now. Yes the past was important, but the present and future were the main concern. Wallowing in the past was not going to help her control her future. With a determined spirit she lined out statements and goals that were no longer going to be part of her future. Lining out "have a fourth child within two years of the third" was easy to surrender. Striking through the goal "have a third child within three years of the second" was more difficult because she was now surrendering a dearly held desire. Yet, with a tear she surrendered that dream too to eternity. Though the pen rested to left of the first word, she could not bring herself to line out "have a second child within two years of the first." She could not surrender than dream. She wanted her child to experience the joy of having a sibling to turn to for support and with whom to fight. She also could not strike through the words "seek revenge" she added early. She felt the powerful draw of that demon even though she could not say on whom or how she would seek revenge. It was just a need that cried out. Picking up a highlighter she highlighted various feeling statements she embraced, "I love my husband more than my own life," "I cannot see a life without my husband," "I cannot risk having another child as I could not live with myself if the child had a problem", "I hate my father," and "I am angry at Doris." Picking up a pen she lined out "father" and wrote in "Vince." Vince was her biological sire, but emotionally she could no longer view him as her father. She lined out all options but one "tell Jeff within three weeks and do what I can to remain married." Looking once again at her goals she wrote, "hold firmly and lovingly to my husband", "love my husband without reservation", "tell Jeff and be patient as he works through his feelings." Pam then added, "support my mother when all is known." To the statement referring to a second child she added two words "adoption" and "surrogate" with a question mark behind each word. Then after a few moments of she added, "preference, do not allow this child to be an only child! But how?" It pained her to line some out or modify them in light of the news. Ninety minutes later Pam had the greater clarity she sought. Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 02 Jeff arrived home just shy of seven exhausted from a 2 hour drive and a long day. Pam felt relieved as she relished the challenge of welcoming her husband home, catching up on news and making love that night. She was emotionally drained. Allowing lovemaking to be left to the next evening was fine with her. Her husband's statement on his way out in the morning made it clear what he desired that night. Jeff arrived home to find his wife in a black semi-transparent stretch laced baby doll purchased that afternoon from a maternity shop. She basked in the gleam that shot forth from his eyes and his warm broad smile. He frequently said she was still beautiful and lovely with her enlarged belly. She thought he was just being kind, but that look on his face and the quickly developed bulge told her that he still found her desirable. As they stood by their bed his lips found hers. Their passions of love and physical desires flowed from one heart to the other through their kisses. His hands danced across her engorged breasts. Her sensitive nipples hardened. Blissful sensations flowed out across her body as her vocal chords moaned the joyous feelings being experienced by her body. Her hands in turn roamed his body, rubbing his manly bulge before moving her hand to undo his shirt buttons. Her face glowed with desire and love for her husband. She wanted him to make love to her. Her wounded heart sought the intimate soothing only her husband could provide. Driven she undid his pants and drew them downward to the floor. She pulled her husband upon their bed of love. She knelt over his skyward pointing cock. Holding it up before her face she licked the underside, from its base to its tip. Her eyes were fixed upon his green eyes as her tongue swirled around his head. She thought to herself, "My man! My husband! Forever!!" Jeff's mouth opened in response to the pleasure her warm mouth was giving to his purple head. He was watched his wife earnestness. Her growing skills never ceased to amaze him. It was her improving skills that drove him to hone his and to discover new things. Jeff often hoped he was able to be half as skilled at providing his wife pleasure as she provided him. They were so in tuned to each other that his wife thought the same about her husband. He was such a wonderful lover that she wanted nothing less to reciprocate by being the best she could. Unknown to him she read anything and everything she could get her hands on about sex and different techniques. The readings not only educated her but they also fueled her imagination and desires. Her mouth moved further down his steeled shaft. She took her husband as far as she could take him. For the first time she held it deep in her mouth to the entrance of her throat. Feeling the baby kick caused her to think that within her mouth was the instrument that yielded its loving fruit now kicking up a storm within her. Then undesired the thought that this was her brother's cock filled her mind and caused two conflicting thoughts to race together through her mind. She was filled with dread on the one hand about the baby's health and the nastiness of it all in the other. As she continued to stroke his cock with her mouth she remembered that this was her husband's manhood. She groaned as her mouth claimed this tool of love as her possession. Before he could release his warmth in her mouth she moved from him and lay beside him. They kissed as her fingers slowly danced back and forth across his chest, neck and face. Her fingers moved as if they were trying to memorize for eternity every contour of his body. Jeff's hands too were busy exploring her body, touching it, making love to it through his light touch. His hands spent an extended period exploring her enlarged belly that protected their growing child. He smiled when he felt a kick. He looked forward seeing the new life immerge from her. Being a father thrilled him. Minutes later Jeff moved his face down his wife's torso. He kissed her breasts through the lacy material. His hands moved slowly exploring the breasts that had transformed themselves in these past months from lovely B sized breasts to large Cs. Raising the baby doll to her shoulders he sucked and licked her nipples ever so gently. He knew they were sensitive in preparation for breast feeding so he took his time as he listened and watch for clues from Pam. He was amazed too how her nipples had increased in size and that along with the areola they had become a deep brown. From the sparkle in his eyes Pam knew long ago that he loved how her breasts had development. Her eyes closed as she enjoyed her husband's light pleasuring work upon her breasts. She guided his head from one breast to the other. After many pleasurable minutes and at her direction Jeff loving moved from her breasts toward her enlarged soft stomach. He gently kissed every inch of her belly. Before moving onward toward his next destination he looked up at her and between kisses on her belly presented her with a bouquet of endearments. Not only did his words express his love but so did his tone. The look in his eyes shouted it clear and strong to her soul. While speaking his message of love, his fingers teased her perineum, drawing from her a swelling passion. There was no resistance from her when he pushed her bikini panties to the side so he could feast upon her. And feast he did. Pam's juices poured forth into his mouth as he touched her with his tongue and fingers. Her pleasure points went into overload when the breadth of his full tongue moved like a soft paint brush up and down her womanly channel. Little twitchings stirred deep within her pussy. They signaled she was on her way to glorious climax. Jeff continued onward minute after minute demonstrating his skills and making love to his wife. Her mind drifted back to their honeymoon in Niagara Falls when after nearly a half hour between her legs he looked up at her and commented how he loved her pussy. Even now she recalled her response, "My dearest, this is no longer my pussy. It is your pussy to enjoy and pleasure all you want." Ever since, she has only thought of it in that way. Her body was no longer hers alone. As he drew her forth to her first climax of the evening she moaned forth her joy. Seconds later with a great cry she came boldly upon his lips and tongue. Still drawing her pleasure out through his mouth and tongue, his hands lightly caressed her thighs and belly. Using cream Jeff kept his hands as soft as they could be just for times like this. Moving up her body his kisses and the caresses seemed to be rose petal soft and gentle. Just from his touches she was again finding her arousal moving higher. Her husband was the best sex partner she ever had, not that she knew many as her husband was only her third lover. Yet, she could not imagine anyone being better for her. Before kissing her on the lips Jeff devoted a great deal of attention again to her breasts. His hands, fingers, lips and tongue each provided a different texture that only caused her to cry out with a growing fervor and intensity. His hands lightly played for minutes with the rounded curves of her breasts. His repeated touches of her breasts again confirmed that Jeff was a breast man. He gently played with each breast and softly stroked them before playing with her erect nipples. He ran his thumb back over one nipple and then the other, clasped each lightly between his thumb and forefinger. As they kissed their tongues dueled with each other. A very pregnant Pam moved to her hands and knees. Jeff knew what his wife desired and wanted. Though he did not need to a second invitation, his wife crying out "fuck me, ooohh fuck me hard with my cock." Her shameless petition only fueled his desire. Seconds later her husband's hard cock slid into her. He only just started to slide in and out at a greater pace when she howled she was cumming. He kept pounding his wife pushing her onward toward another climax. Pam suddenly turned and pushed him on his back. She burned with the need to look into his eyes as she came. Pam rode her husband hard and long. The baby was kicking but not to distraction. Every time she sensed her husband was close to cumming, she slowed down or sat upon him with his hard cock fully embraced. In their first year and after reading an article in a woman's journal she learned how to alter the pace to keep her husband from cumming too soon. She learned the lesson well and honed her abilities. She allowed him to calm again before riding onward before slowing again. She wanted the feelings she was experiencing to last even longer. His eyes became wild with passion. Hers had that similar look but hers started to fill with tears of contentment. Looking into her husband's eyes she smiled and chanted in a semi-trance like state a modified phrase from their marital vows, "forever we are one. Your flesh is my flesh, my flesh is your flesh. One flesh forever." He smiled back while moaning his agreement. Jeff played with her breasts as she was approaching her moment of release. She picked up the pace and was about to cum for a most satisfying yet exhausting fourth time. She could not take much more and her husband had waited long enough. She rose up and down on his hard shaft at a growing pace, a pace that brought forth his release just as she was about to cum. Feeling his warmth flooding into her already full womb triggered for her the most powerful climax. As they came together, her eyes were fastened upon his as she cried out, "I love you, I love you, I love you." Exhausted and well sated the young couple lay holding each other. Sleep quickly overcame them. Though it was still early in the evening, the passion and energy of the evening extracted its payment. Great pleasure at the price of great exhaustion. Two and half hours after falling asleep Pam's kidneys demanded relief. Emerging from the washroom she looked upon her sleeping husband. Jeff, after several long days on the road, continued to sleep soundly. Craving strawberry ice cream and peanut butter Pam reached for her robe. While eating a bowl of ice cream topped with peanut butter Pam stood there watching her husband. She continued to study her husband's sleeping form before moving to the baby's room and her desk that yet to be moved from the room. From the desk drawer she withdrew the sheets that had been penned earlier. She reviewed and pondered the statements. This was about the future of her marriage, and her child. She was going to do what she could to hold them together. She was determined and firm on that goal. Rubbing her swollen belly she knew she could not undo the past. Yet, she could direct her reaction to it and take charge of her future. Her eyes again fell upon the statements related to seeking revenge. Fearing that demon could destroy her joy and family she struck through all statements about revenge. In their place she wrote statements about exposing Vince and Doris. She felt that exposing them would extract a payment in a more controlled manner. Exposure would also break Vince's control over her mother. As she made her way back to the bed, Pam knew with clarity her love for her husband and goals. She had goals, now she needed plans to help create the outcomes she sought. Chapter 3 to follow Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 03 This is a continuation of the Cruel Irony series and the ramifications of an adulterous indiscretion. The precursor to Wresting With Life's Cruel Irony chapters commences with Cruel Irony. ---------------- The days immediately after his return home Pam did not tell her husband the news. While not racked by self doubt and fear, those feelings ran through her enough to give her to hold off telling Jeff. She did not want to misstep. She rehearsed her phrases as she awaited the right moment. The moment was one of the most important ones in her life and Pam wanted to get it right. She also knew she had to become clearer on her feelings toward Vince and Doris. Rage, confusion, sympathy, revenge and love commingled together toward them. She wondered if she should expose them because of all the pain it would bring to both families. Yet if she remained silent and did not tell her mother, was she not just as guilty as her father by helping to cover up his affair? Yet if she told her mother, she would be bringing upon her mother great anguish and pain. She could not see her mother not throwing Vince out and seeking a divorce forthwith. She felt equal rage toward Doris. The memory of Doris' motherly support to her during the three months her mother recovered from her auto accident had a warm place in her heart. Doris was there daily by Tara's side as she lay in a comma for sixteen days and was there to help her keep the house clean as her legs and foot healed. She felt sympathy for Doris, yet she could not escape the fact that Doris was equally at fault for this situation and for the affair. Pam cried within, "Why did she not speak up? I would not be is such pain if she did." Moments later she would acknowledge that if Doris had spoken that she would neither be married nor carrying the love of her life's baby. The thought of her mother remaining silent caused her to feel strangely warm. Tuesday morning Pam drove to her alma mater, to speak to Tim. She called him Monday and he was free to see her at eleven o'clock. She trusted him and he already knew about her marriage. As Pam walked across campus to the college's chapel she called Tim and left a message that requested that he meet her there rather than in his office. She recalled one of Tim's lectures that touched upon confidentiality and legal protections for teachers and counselors. He noted the law does not give counselors the same confidentiality protection as it gives to lawyers and clergy. He noted that though he was a member of the clergy, he was uncertain how the courts would rule on confessions and counseling conducted in his office as a Dean and professor versus what takes place in a pastoral role in the chapel or church office. Given the nature of the subject, she wanted to speak to him in the chapel and in his clergy role. She entered the chapel fifteen minutes before the appointed time. Pam sat there reflecting and meditating. She had been alarmed that she had not been feeling guilty for being married to Jeff. In the silence her eyes feel upon a painting and a lamb. At that moment she knew she married Jeff in good-faith. She and Jeff were innocent. Now that she knew, if she continued to be married to her half-brother, was she not committing a sin? She sighed deeply, "remain married I sin. Divorce I sin." The impact upon a divorce upon their child as the years passed also had to be taken into account. She knew her own heart and that of Jeff's all to well. Remaining married without conjugal relations would not work. Their love for each other, their enjoyment of sex made that an impractical solution. Divorce or truly remain married were the only options. It was unavoidable, no matter what they were going to sin in the eyes family and friends. Tears streamed as Pam prayed. Just before eleven o'clock she sensed Tim's presence beside her. He provided her his handkerchief. Tim sat quietly giving her time to speak. She thanked him for meeting her in the chapel and said needed his pastoral counsel. He led her to a back room used for pastoral visits. For the next forty-five minutes Tim and Pam talked. As usual he did not give her any answers or say what he would do – that was not his approach. He raised questions, provided thoughts for her to contemplate and helped her to define the issues and options. While doing so, he helped her to clarify her heart. She felt stronger about her conclusion not to seek revenge. Tim concurred that it would likely harm her in unexpected ways. The closest he came to giving her direct advice was at two points. He noted that by keeping quiet about the affair she would be participating in the cover-up. When and how she would tell her mother was in her hands, but it should take place in the next two months. Before she left, he held her hand and prayed with her. The other point was with regard to her feelings that she would sin no matter what she did. Tim smiled that God's judgment was not harsh in her situation. It was the state of their hearts on their wedding day and their innocence that carried forward to cover their marriage. As she drove home she thought through the significance of Tim's comments about innocence covering their marriage. Tim had noted that her wrestling with the issues and the questions she raised reflected that she had a warm heart. Many in our society he noted would not give a second thought to these issues. Her heart ached because she was starting with the premise of a life of love and gentleness. Pam felt he was being over generous in his evaluation of her heart but she appreciated his affirmation. Another statement that struck her was, "God knows your heart. What you choose to do, do with the purest of love's intent. God will understand and grant peace." Pamela's mind kept replaying Tim's statement, "If you continue to be married, you shall have my support. No one else really needs to know." With renewed confidence she determined once again that she would fight to remain married and not give any consideration to any other option. In her meeting with Tim admitted she was very angry with Doris. Tim's comment that he could not be as harsh upon Doris but had sympathy for her softened her view of her mother. He hinted that Doris was being victimized. Though Tim had met Vince only briefly during events for parents, working off what little knowledge he had firsthand and from Doris's statement his speculation about her father's personality and character impressed Pam. If Vince played upon her feelings of guilt in a threatening manner he could see how Tim understood how the affair could become an ongoing affair. Tim's comment, "Doris will only be free if there is external intervention" played upon her mind for days. The week before Labor Day Pam was back in the classroom, and soon was focused upon her class. Looking at her calendar the third week of classes she was reminded that in six days she had another doctor's appointment and had yet to talk with Jeff. This was the visit she would ask her doctor about having a tubal ligation. Jeff needed to be told before the visit. Late Saturday afternoon she lay in her husband's arms watching a college football game. As his hands started to play with her breasts she pushed them away. She did not want to get distracted like last night. Pam sat up and turned toward her husband. Seeing the expression on her face Jeff held her hands in his and asked, "Baby, what's wrong? I am sorry. What have I done or said?" That was just like Jeff, quickly accepting fault and seeking forgiveness even if he was not at fault. His willingness do accept blame even when she was at fault not only brought down her defenses but deepened her love for him. He was so unlike Vince who faulted others and would only grudgingly admit to being wrong. Pam's tears started to roll. She thought she was prepared. Even though she had rehearsed the opening words, it was extremely difficult to get started. Jeff sat silently letting her to gather her thoughts and fortitude. He was determined not to make this any harder on her as he sensed she was under stress. Taking a deep breath she started "I learned some bad news about us from your mother." His face swiftly became stoic. He waited for her to continue. Between tears she described his mother her breaking into tears at the reception and being led away with Pam following. "And when I approached the door I heard your mother confess that she had an affair...with...my father. And...and my father is....is also....your...." She could not finish. Jeff's mouth opened. Then she saw in her husband's eyes that he discerned the significance of what she trying to tell him. With moist eyes he stuttered, "you mean that you and..." She nodded, "brother and sister." Tears flowed again like a river from Pam's eyes. Jeff pulled her into himself and held her. Though he fought to remain stoic and calm, she heard him sniffle. Jeff was stunned. His face became unreadable. He wanted to scream and run but he also wanted to hold his wife. And he held her silently for ten minutes be he rose and paced back and forth. Pam remained quiet. She gave him time to gather his thoughts. The fact that he held her tightly was positive. She remained silent when he walked to and fro for she knew her husband used pacing to rid himself of unproductive feelings and the temptation to lash out. As he paced quietly Jeff's mind continued to review his feelings and options. Mr. Hart, his mentor, helped Jeff develop the skill of quickly listing options rather than settling on the first one that came to mind. Annulment/divorce....a possibility but not practical. It would destroy both their hearts. Living as man and wife but not being intimate is only theoretically possible....but no way that would work. They loved each other too much to do that to themselves. Remaining married with one or the other moving, a separation without a divorce is possible. Her heart would not survive. It was a divorce all but short of the legal papers. He could not do that to her. He knew too he would die inside as well. Lastly, living as they have been. Remaining married is where his heart lay. In Jeff's mind, their consciences were clear. They entered marriage without knowledge of their common parentage. Though some would argue that they could no longer be blameless, he would disagree with them. Divorce was something that he and Pam viewed as a last resort for various situations or for abusive situations. He concluded a divorce or separation would not do them or their baby any good. Divorce would satisfy some narrow minded judgmental people who did not have to live out the consequences. His mind focused upon his wife when he realized she had been worrying about this for weeks. Jeff sat beside his wife and pulled her into his arms to comfort her. Hugging Pam, he kissed her. He whispered in her ear, "I am sorry you have carried the burden of this news all by yourself. I do not think I would have broken under its weight." Smiling and looking into her eyes his right hand wiped her tears away. As his had touched her belly he said that every day he saw her he vowed to himself to the best father possible. "I am going to raise and protect this child, to wipe the tears from his or her eyes, to mold and shape the child to be a generous loving and proper person. There is one and only one option, for his heart, her heart and the baby." Jeff kissed away the latest tears of his wife. He breathed deeply. He was going to fight for her and their marriage. "I am going to love you every day until he breathed his last breath." They continued to hold and kiss without speaking a word. They affirmed their love and marriage through their embracing. Between kisses he looked into her eyes, "you are my wife. That is all that matters." He stood and drew his wife up. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom. She looked at him, "and what do you have in mind?" "Making love to my wife and telling her that I will not let her go." Tears of joy welled from within her soul. Arriving at their bed he ever so slowly undressed her, raised her maternity dress over her head and removed her maternity bra. He dropped before her to remove her large maternity panties. As she stood before him he knelt down to kiss one then the other foot before kissing up her leg to her core so beautifully nestled between her thighs. He gazed at her pussy noting how it had changed in recent weeks to become more enlarged and swollen. She looked down but could not see past her distended belly. She closed her eyes picturing him in her mind while feeling his kisses and long licks. When he briefly took her clit into his mouth and used the tip of his tongue to toy with it, she felt her body start to quake. Before she could climax and satisfy the fire between her thighs Jeff moved upward. Rising upon his knees to gave special attention to having his roaming kisses move around and around her enlarged stomach before moving onward to her two breasts. Pausing at her large breasts topped with deep brown areola and nipples, he took each nipple in his mouth. Then he smothered her neck and face with kisses, but still had not kissed her lips. Pam's eyes remained closed as she hummed her pleasure. As he finally kissed her Pam felt herself being guided to the bed and then centered upon it. She opened her eyes and watched him undress. He removed his shirt to reveal his solid manly chest. Then his pants feel to the floor, followed by his briefs. There stood brave and proud his hard shaft pointing at her. Her eyes focused upon the cock that produced their child that soon would emerge from her. She loved looking at it, making love to it with her hands, mouth and pussy. As Jeff moved to lie beside his wife he took message oil from the drawer. He proceeded to message the oil into her soft skin. He lovingly took his time, covering every inch of her, from head to toe, front and back. Pam was feeling so loved and desired. Her heart soared to the clouds. When she could reach it as he moved around her, Pam softly held and stroked her husband's hard shaft. As he moved her on to her hands and knees, she knew what was coming. She moved a pillow under her stomach and offered herself to her husband. Slowly, ever so slowly, Pam's husband slipped quarter inch by quarter inch of his hard hot cock into her warm, moist pussy. He enjoyed feeling her pussy lips gradually parting for him and how she embraced his shaft within her. She too was enjoyed the pleasure of every inch of their union. Due to her being in the latter stage of her pregnancy he took it more slowly at first to allow for her to adjust. Once to the very gates of her inner womanly lips Jeff held himself against them. Against her cervix he started rotating his hips slowly so that his cock's tip slid back and forth across her inner gates behind which rested their child. Pam moaned with pleasure as she glanced backward. She saw only pleasure and love on his face. After minutes of pleasing her slowly he started to thrust slowly in and out, up, down and around her love channel. The beautiful and rich feelings being generated by her pussy shot up and around their child and into the rest of her body. She longed to finally give birth to the child within her, not only so that she could be more comfortable sleeping but also because she could become more active in their lovemaking. After all these long months she also desired to hold their child conceived in love in her arms and to suckle the babe at her breasts. Her passion urged Jeff to not just make love to her but to fuck her harder, to drive them both to a climax. Pam's pussy was ablaze with a desire for satisfaction. Her body was desirous for whatever it could take. She longed for as much since she feared that this could be their final time until weeks following the baby's birth. He responded to her pleading. Jeff thrust his hips forward while Pam rocked her hips backward as much as her pregnant belly would allow. As the bed struck the wall her eyes noticed the scaring marks of their prior couplings. She did not want to have those marks repaired as they reminded her of many wild and pleasurable nights, afternoons and a few mornings. Looking left into her dresser mirror she gazed in fascination at her enlarged breasts. They hung downward swinging freely like a pendulum. Amazingly she did not really feel them swinging as her senses were so focused upon the waves of pleasure rippling out from her pussy. Pam repeatedly moaned and cried "yes" as she came. Still in need of his own relief Jeff kept thrusting. His momentum kept building. The faster he thrust the harder his cock's impact upon her cervix became. The stronger the impact, the more dramatic the quaking it sent through her thighs and stomach and out into the rest of her body. Her ears clued into the change in her husband's groans. The pace of his breathing and the pitch in his voice signaled he was close. She felt herself getting close to another powerful climax. A handful of thrusts later she screamed she was cumming. Just as her climax approached its zenith her husband's eruption flowed forth to warm her inner sanctum. As Jeff started to cum he held himself as deep as possible within his wife. When the last of his quaking finished, his knees became jelly. He fell beside his wife. Once he withdrew she dropped to her side and cuddled against him murmuring her agreement to his statements of "wow". The breathless "wow" was more than adequate for how she felt. Once again, if she died after such a passionate moment she could not find a better moment to give up one's last breath. Their breathing calmed, and the hot sweat became cold upon their skin. Pam leaned over Jeff and kissed his lips lovingly before saying, "thank you for that my husband." "No, thank you my dear wife. I am blessed to be your husband." Pam and Jeff lay cuddled knowing that they were truly one. In both their minds his release was the affirmation that they belonged to each other. She knew that they had just affirmed their marriage through the pleasure and love they sealed with his deposit within her. They were only husband and wife, and that's how they would remain. Unspoken, both felt relieved that each felt the same way about the other. They both looked forward to growing old and grey together. A half hour later, Jeff rose and drew a warm bath for her. He knew she loved to sit and read in a warm bath. When the bath was drawn, and the bath oil added, he guided her to the warm water. Slowly he bathed his wife's lovely body. When he finished she continued to lazily enjoy the warm water while reading a novel. When she finished Pam found her husband in bed watching television. She crawled against the king pillow she used to help comfort her and he cuddled lightly against her back. Talking about their discovery could wait until the morrow. They were content to be at peace with themselves and each other as they fell asleep. ------------------------- Over the following days they both worked through their feelings about their parents. Jeff was moody and angry the next day. By the third day he had become more reflective. He felt that providing the genetic material does not make one a father. Fatherhood he told Pam is about providing for one's children, loving and shaping them, sharing their sorrows and joys, spending time with them, encouraging them when they are discouraged and helping to instill values and ethics. Hearing her husband speak about fatherhood she realized all that she lacked from Vince. She was happy that Royce was her husband's father. She was confident that Jeff would be all that he described for his child. A tear formed she sadly reflected on what she had missed. Jeff still had a hard time understanding how his mother could have been having an going affair. He felt that there was something much more than what they knew. Though he agreed with his wife that they could not remain silent on the affair, he argued that they needed to know more before they said anything. Jeff knew a firm that could help in gathering information. With as much information at hand they could then expose the affair in a more informed manner. By the end of the week Pam and Jeff meet with Mike whose firm worked with Jeff's firm on background checks and other investigations. Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 03 Days later in bed Pam explained to her husband that she was spoke to the doctor about having a tubal ligation performed after the baby was born. Jeff tried to argue she did not need to do it and that the odds of something happening were still small. Yet he could not counter her statement, "dear, if our child had a problem we both know that we would forever feel guilty for having another child." Though he conceded to her wisdom she saw deep sadness in his moistening eyes. As she was telling her husband her plans Pam's hand was upon his manly shaft. As he lay saddened and propped upon against the headboard she studied his cock. Its length and girth were expanding in her hands. She could see the purplish veins that ran down the side becoming more prominent. The pinkish head mushroomed head pushed forward proudly. Gently with a finger she caressed the mushroom whose sides had been the source of such stimulation within her womanhood. Lovingly she lightly stroked the organ that had provided her body with abundant pleasure. She leaned over and took her husband's engorged manhood in her mouth, swirling her tongue around the head and bobbing up and down on his cock. As she cradled his balls in her hand and ran her lips along the underside of his penis, Jeff offered, "I will arrange to get a vasectomy as well." After sliding the tip of her tongue into his slit and engulfing him with her mouth she murmured "no." Looking up into her eyes with her mouth just inches from it she spoke more firmly as she continued to play with his cock, "don't you dare. I am not going to eliminate all hope of you fathering another child or two." When he mentioned adoption she shook her head, "Bill and Angie have been in the process of adopting for five years and they still are waiting. I want to keep this alive in case we find a surrogate." Her mouth again engulfed his cock which brought forth a moan of pleasure from him. Again her head repeatedly moved up and down the shaft. Her heart's desire at that moment was going in two directions, bringing forth for their mutual enjoyment his manly fluid and a desire for her husband's to fulfill their desire for it to be the source of life at least once more. The former desire was in her control, the latter was there but she had no idea how to make it happen. Though her mouth withdrew from his shaft her hand moved aggressive upon it. As her tongue swirled the sides of his mushroom she noticed that his eyes were closed. Pam could not help but wonder what was going through his mind at that moment. Yes, his face was filled with pleasure but there was something more. When his eyes opened to say he was about to cum she noticed that there was a look of lust in his eyes. When she felt his hips and cock shake, her eyes focused upon the head of Jeff's cock. She opened her mouth wide an inch above it. In as little as two seconds she felt his warm fluid shooting up into her mouth. Her mouth closed over the head to catch the second before withdrawing as he finished on her hand. Swirling his cum in her mouth was a new experience brought on by a story she read the month before. She had swallowed him several times but had not done what was described in the story until then. As she moved his release within her closed mouth her cum covered hand was messaging the fluid into her breasts. She was struck by the symbolism of what she was doing that she wiped cum off her with the other hand and messaged it into the belly while swallowing that which was deposited in her mouth. Sated he soon drifted off asleep. It took her longer to get comfortable enough to fall asleep. As she looked over at her husband's sleeping form she wondered what the investigation would reveal and what thoughts brought the look of lust to his eyes as he came. She made a mental note to ask him. Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 04 With the pending birth of their own child the young couple gave little attention to the affairs of their parents. Jeff was also concerned about Royce who for several weeks complained of a lack of energy. After some pushing from Jeff he had a doctor's appointment scheduled when he got back from a planning conference. The early panic that Pam had in those first days gave way to thoughtful investigation and design. Early Jeff reminded her that impetuous desires or hysteria would gain them little and may even make things worse if Doris was wrong about Vince being Jeff's father. Clearly they wanted to do confront their parents, but their rationale nature reminded them that the die regarding their baby had been cast and could not be changed. Pam agreed with Jeff that they needed to be sure of Jeff's parenthood before they leveled any accusations. When Pam wanted to be more rash, her husband coolly reminded her to think of the long game. He reminded her that impetuous desires often complicate matters. Though he often calmed her, there were moments when the emotions controlled Jeff too. And when they flared she reminded him of what he had said to her. Ultimately they kept themselves in check knowing that the investigator needed time and that it would take time to confirm what Pam heard. They had started to talk about the investigator's latest verbal report and the results of the DNA test the evening Pam went into labor. As Mike's firm past work had been involved in paternity disputes Jeff asked the firm to arrange for a medical clinic run by one of Mike's fraternity brothers to compare his DNA against the hair follicle DNA of his mother, Royce and Vince. The clinic was willing to make it a priority and Mike just received the results. The greatest challenge for the young couple was to visit their parents and secure hair follicles from combs and brushes. It took two tries to secure a lab acceptable sample from Vince. Vince apologized for not being able to give positive news, but 87% chance that Vince was Jeff's biological father. Mike felt much better when Jeff responded, "fatherhood is not about contributing DNA. It is about all that one does to guide and raise one's children. Royce is my father, not Vince." Mike noted that his team had discovered that Doris was not the only woman with whom Vince was having an affair. There was evidence that he was having affairs with at least two other women and with as many as seven women in the last five years. Pam expressed became enraged when Jeff told her that news. She just started to express some sympathy and understanding toward Doris when she cried out that her water broke. Within the hour they were at the hospital. The early hours their son was born. ------------------ The first week of October Pam rested at home with her newborn son. Tara, her mother arrived that morning to help her daughter for two weeks. Doris offered to help but the young couple politely told her they were fine. Truth was that neither desired for Doris in their home at the moment as they were still uncertain about their feelings and plan. After Thanksgiving Pam would be back in the classroom with Royce Jeffery William being cared for by a woman who lived down the street. The school said she did not need to return to work that early, but she was ready to do so. She missed her students and had only known them four and a half weeks when she took maternity leave. Waiting until February or March would make her feel like she was their substitute teacher. The warmth of the early afternoon inviting drew Pam with Royce into the backyard. Looking upon her son on the blanket she became melancholy. Child birth was painful, but looking at the wondrous life that emerged from within her made the process well worth it. Since Royce's birth she had wept that she was not going to have another child. Yet her head reminded her that she would detest herself if something was wrong with a second or third child. Though all appeared well with young Royce, a fear that something yet could surface in the coming years played on her mind. The chances were not high but they still lurked in her thoughts. What further disturbed her was that Jeff gained evidence from a private eye that Doris had been visiting Vince once or twice a month. The investigator's last verbal synopsis three days after she got home from the hospital indicated Doris was trying to refuse him but Vince was holding something over Doris. Apparently the investigator recorded two conversations between Vince and Jill, the other woman he was seeing. Mike said that the conversation would prove to be very revealing once they read the transcript. He also had on tape the sound of Doris being hit several times. The news was not great. The full report, including transcripts and tapes, arrived just before noon in three large envelopes. As her mother was weeding the floral garden on the other side of the yard, her heart wept inwardly for her mother as she opened the envelope marked summary report and photographs. To the appearance of outsiders, her parents seemed to have a happy marriage. What happened behind closed doors was something different. Vince who seemed so charming and spoke of his love for his wife to others when she was near to hear was demanding and manipulative when dealing with his children and wife. Though he never physically abused them he achieved his goals through other means. He yelled at them, withheld privileges and belittled them when they did or said something that displeased him. She learned early that it was better to just please him. Now unknown to her mother she had the evidence in her hand of her father's dalliances. In the days since telling Jeffery the news he had helped her to understand that she needed to tell her mother about Vince's affair with Doris. She was fearful of the consequences but knew if she did not that she too was participating in her father's cheating. That said, Jeff said she should not rush to tell her mother until they had the evidence and as many facts as responsibly possible. With the envelope in hand she felt uncomfortable because the when to do it was near. Pam needed to figure a way to tell her after all she could not just come out and say as if it was a casual matter, "so what do you think about dad having mistresses?" Tara had been an affectionate mother, freely sacrificing for her children and constantly attentive to their needs. She was not a saint in the religious sense. She rarely attended church and did not hold to some of the traditional tenants of the church. Yet in her daughter's eyes Tara was a saint. She rarely had a negative word to say about others. She admired that her mother's capacity to be self-controlled, to be slow to anger while quick to forgive. She feared those traits would be her undoing and Vince when confronted would twist things. She feared that Tara would forgive her husband and he would return to his old habits of cheating. What Pam did not know was that when Pam was that Tara had discovered her husband was having an affair with a woman from work. Tara thought they had worked things out, but eleven years ago she had doubts. She had doubts that he would keep his promise not to have another affair. She questioned why she left herself financially vulnerable to being dependant upon him. When she first discovered his unfaithfulness she feared she could not afford to live without him. She could not imagine what her life would be like. So when he promised to be faithful, she accepted it. For personal peace and for the sake of the children she did not seek proof. In the last six years Tara's doubts increased each year but she lacked the evidence. For the last three years Tara was conflicted as to whether she really wanted to know for once she knew she would be faced with a decision. Since she was a young teen one of her greatest fears had been to find herself living alone. Now with her two children married is she divorced her husband she would be alone and that the fear of loneliness was more powerful than the desire to know the truth about Vince. She found herself explaining away items like the long strands of hair she found as hairs from their dog, or whether his position really did demand that he be away from home two or three nights a month. So for years Tara had been living in a state of willful ignorance. Yet, Tara had been preparing herself just in case. Unknown to her husband she had inherited from a grand-uncle a nice sum eleven years before. The $83,000 had been invested and net income from two small apartment buildings she also inherited from him was also going into the account. With a modest amount being added directly from her paycheck her invests had become more robust. Being the money manager for the family, her husband was unaware that she now had just over $458,000. If Pam had known about her mother's suspicions and the investment account she would have been less reluctant to talk with her mother. It was with great sorrow that Pam read the report. Her sorrow was not over about her father's cheating, she had accepted that in August. Her sorrow was how she learned that her father had been abusing Doris and the pain she would bring to her mother's life. Her downcast spirit was increased because she still did not know how to start the conversation with her mother. An hour later, Tara emerged from the house with two glasses of lemonade. Seeing a downcast look on her daughter's face Tara asked, "what's wrong dear? You look like you are carrying the world on your shoulders." "Its nothing," she replied to her mother as her mother's eyes fell upon the three thick envelops. Tara saw the letter head resting to the side was from an investigation firm. Tara noticed another multi-page document in her daughter's hand. "Pam, I know that look. The last time I saw that look was when you wondered how you would ever make it through experimental psychology. Do not tell me it is nothing!" Pam looked down. What could she say to her mother? This was the chance to tell her but as she had not planned on telling her mother this soon she did not know how to start. She felt nervous so she obfuscated matters by responding, "It's nothing really, just a little husband and wife thing." Tara's mind jumped all over that statement. As a nurse she had known of too many abusive situations where the wife downplayed the first signs of abuse. Women who have over dominating fathers tend to marry men who are abusers. An envelope and letter from an investigator suggested something entirely different. "Is he having an affair?" Tara asked. Pam quickly came to her husband's defense by affirming that Jeff was a faithful husband who treated her like a queen. Tara knew from her own marriage that what the public face could be far different than the private face. Tara told her that it was okay to admit that they had difficulties and she would not think worse of her. Tara pressed her about the document from an investigation firm. Pam had enough and in anger replied, "this is a report about Vince and Doris and some woman named Jill Lander." In confusion Tara asked "what about Jill, Vince and Doris?" "You know Jill Lander?" Tara laughed, "She's an old high school friend of your father's and is some type of executive at your father's company. She is in town once a month and your father has business meetings with her about a new plant opening in California. One of the longest nights in my life was the night he took me to one of their all night dinner meetings. Thank goodness he has not insisted I attend another." With a note of frustration because her mother had missed the point Pam replied, "this report is not about my husband cheating. My husband loves me and his son with every fiber of his being. He is a generous caring man. Jeff it fully unlike his biological father." Her daughter's tone angered Tara. "That is an unkind thing to say about Royce" Tara snapped back. "Why would you name your son after him if you have such a low view of him?" "I said, his biological father. That is not Royce." The statement silenced Tara for a moment. With a look of confusion on Tara's face she uttered, "biological father?" Tossing the report at her mother she said, "go ahead and read it. It will tell you that your husband has been having one affair after another throughout your marriage. Jeff and I arranged for the report when we learned that your husband is my husband's biological father. We hired this investigator to find out more and had DNA tests to be sure" she uttered firmly while shaking the report in her mother's face. Tara crumbled into a chair as her daughter continued. In anger Pam continued. "It's all there! DNA test results, names and other information. What is most damning is that the Friday after Royce was born your husband was out drinking heavily because he was upset we did not include his name in the baby's name. When the investigator kept buying him drinks your husband bragged about the forty-three women he has bedded since he married you. He even bragged about being with two of your bridesmaids two days before your wedding." Tara's anger grew as Pam continued uncontrolled. Her pent up anger drove her. "Twenty-six women were married or engaged. Vince is a monster mom. A detestable man I cannot love or respect. I am ashamed to have his genes in me. He said to the investigator that he has fathered five children with these women. The firm tracked down these women and each of the children. That means I have four other siblings besides Jeff. The youngest is a six year old brother in Huntington, Indiana. I have an eleven year old sister living about ten blocks from me. My word mom, she could be in one of my classes next year. What am I to say to her or act around her knowing that she is my half-sister?" "Jill is an old girlfriend that he never left behind. She has three kids, two by Vince. The oldest is a son three years younger than me attending Ball State and his eighteen years old daughter is in her first year at Northwestern. I cannot believe that you never caught on that he had this secret life. You will read that it is not just married women your husband targets. He also goes after high school girls who have just turned eighteen. He bragged to the investigator that he has had seven high school girls in the last four years. The only positive about these high school girls is that he has not knocked any of the up." "There is much more here and you wonder why I would not honor him by giving my son his name. In my mind and heart I have renounced him as my father. I am going to expose him. I want you and the rest of the family, including grandmamma to know that he is a low life who has manipulated others and besmirched his marriage. I still cannot believe you have not known any of this. You must be so blind or naive!" Tara's anger overflowed and shouted for her daughter to stop. She got up and walked five feet away and then suddenly in tremendous anger she screamed, "he gave me his word. He has broken his promise. I am such a fool." Then she stormed into the house. Gathering Royce into her arms Pam too went inside and noticed that her mother was picking up the phone. There was a tense moment between mother and daughter when Pam commanded her to put down the phone. Breathing deeply Pam asked her mother not to confront Vince rashly. She told her mother that time would come to divorce him but they needed to expose him and Doris. She particularly wanted to target Vince and show him as despicable slim. She pleaded with her mother to make no decision until she heard her out. She asked her to wait for her to change the baby. Ten minutes later after changing the baby's diaper Pam returned to find her mother sitting in the kitchen drinking a beer. Pam sat quietly beside her mother. After a few minutes of silence Tara said she should never have taken her husband back. She was angry at not leaving him. She again said she was a fool to dismiss her suspicions. It was evident from her comments about Jill that Tara knew her from many years before but did not know about the two of them having an affair. Pam lashed out at Doris saying that their friendship was at an end and she would never speak to her again. She said that if Jeff was not going to tell Royce that she would do so when she got home. After allowing her mother to yell and vent for nearly fifteen minutes Pam realized that she needed to control herself. She calmly and quietly said, "Mom, there is much more than just your husband's cheating at stake here. He is destroying and using woman. If we act too soon he will be divorced yes but he will escape...he will just be more available to seduce other woman. Also remember this involves my husband and me. If you act too quickly, details of my marriage will become part of the court record. That could legal difficulties and if it does not, we will still be looked at with suspicion by our friends and neighbors. Why would we want to do that by acting in haste? Yes we will satisfy our anger but end up with a truck load of unnecessary pain in the process." "Mom, please take a few days to read this report and to listen to what I have planned. Please allow your head to guide you rather than your emotions. We will extract our justice but to do so will take a few months. I hope that you promise not do anything that will bring harm to my marriage! I had the same view of Doris, but as I came to know about Vince's scheming and blackmailing I started to think less harshly about her. Her unloving actions need to be revealed, but I do not know what to do. The report and transcripts should help us." Tara stared blankly past her daughter. Emotionally drained, Tara weakly nodded her head. A calmed and emotionally exhausted mother and daughter heard Royce crying. After feeding the baby they shared openly with each other. Calmly Tara listened to her daughter's affirming that she and Jeff were going to remain married. She listened to how they wanted to expose Vince for his true self and that the report was going to help give them information to that end. Tara nodded when her daughter said she and Jeff wanted to be careful. Tara made it clear that as this was her husband the plan was going to be her revenge, not theirs. They were welcome to help her and she would be willing to gain their help, but it was going to be her plan. Looking her daughter in the eyes she firmly stated that if her daughter and Jeff could accept that this was going to her plan and done her way then they needed to get a life. Pam took a deep breath and smiled that she and Jeff hoped her mother would take control but not act prematurely. She went on to say that as Jeff was going to tell Royce that all there plans could go up in smoke. Tara agreed that Royce needed to be told, the sooner the better, but that it did not need to be that day given Royce's medical condition. Tara then said, that if it looked like Royce's health was going to take a negative turn that she may tell him for she did not want him to die thinking that his wife was a fraud. Pam nodded that she understood her mother's feelings even if she did not agree with her. It was not an issue she was going to argue at the moment. Both women spent the rest of the day reading the report again and again. They kept drawing to each other's attention something the other missed. They read the transcripts as they listened to the recordings. Mother and daughter had time to digest undisturbed what they were reading as Jeff flew out that morning for a contractor supply convention for three days. The next after noon their reading of the report and listening to the tapes continued. One tape caused both women to fight tears. Vince verbally abused Jeff's mother repeatedly. They both gasped when it sounded like someone being hit. At one point he boldly proclaimed, "bitch you are mine as long as I want. You are going to be do what I want. I have told you for years I can destroy you. You know I will do it. A call to a PTA gossip and you will become the laughing stock of the whole community. If your son and Pam ever find out what you have done they will disown you. You will not only be divorced but be all alone. I am sick and tired with you fighting me. You know you like it, so get down there and take care of her." Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 04 A female moan of pleasure told them what was happening. As Vince continued to rub it in at one point he gave a prideful laugh that he enjoyed watching other men raise and pay for his kids. "I have received great pleasure in watching your wimp pay for and raise my kid. Little do they know that their kid has my genes from two sources, what a hoot." On another tape from the prior week they force themselves to listen to Jill and Vince having unbridled sex because according to the notes this tape contained Vince's plans to divorce Tara. They learned Vince and Jill had been planning to divorce their spouses. It sounded that they almost did it three years ago but Jill wanted to wait until her youngest was off to college. With her becoming the manager of the new plant in California provided them with the perfect the opportunity. It also became apparent that Jill's position at their firm's Chicago headquarters had enabled Vince and Jill to "be on business travel" to meet each other. They were uncertain what Jill meant when she mention something about other payments would need to redone when they got to California. As the manager of the Santa Clarita plant that was opening in April Jill was able to transfer Vince to oversee supply purchases and maintenance effective February 1st, three weeks after she took her position. They were shocked to hear them working out the details of how Vince was planning to tell his wife during his usual birthday celebration of a short-term assignment to help get the plant set-up. Once in California he would tell her that the assignment has been extended until mid April. They were alarmed to learn that Vince would be faulting Tara for the divorce on the grounds of her being unfaithful to him. Jill told him he needed to decide which man to recruit to befriend Tara. She favored "that jock guy" to take Tare out to dinner and put her in a compromising position as his delivery route took her to Tara's hospital would afford a point for meeting. Vince planned to leave her without having to pay much if any in alimony. Jill's effort to gain evidence of her husband's unfaithfulness was underway. She was presenting him with divorce papers on December 27th. She had the photographer who was going to take the incriminating photograph's ready. She also found the right girl to flirt with him during the conference in Detroit the first week of December. She scoffed that spending $2,500 plus travel expenses for the right lady was worth it. She hoped that the photographs of them, including her going into his room was worth it. She was trying to find a way to get access to his room. If the photos worked as she hoped and the threat to have the pictures become available should be enough leverage to secure an uncontested divorce with terms heavy in her favor. She felt that once the greatest weakness was the call girl's testimony if they had to go to court which is why the last $1,000 would be paid once the divorce terms were settled. Vince said that maybe she should offer the girl a bonus just to make sure she cooperates. Hearing how Jill was orchestrating her husband's seduction spoke volumes on the type of woman they were up against. They continued to listen in shock when Jill asked if they should bring to California Doris or Lois as their play things. Mother and daughter heard them laugh as they joked about bring both along to help them to fulfill their lustful desires. Vince really wanted Lois to come. It became clear that she had somehow been blackmailed into helping Vince to identify high school girls to seduce. Vince wanted her to get a position at another high school as a sex education teacher and counselor. Jill laughed that Lois would do anything to protect her family and to protect her husband's job. Threatening to tell the PTAs and her principle all about Lois helping them to seduce girls from her school would be the clincher. Vince was not as certain about whether Doris would be so agreeable as she had always fought him and that she was just not worth it. Jill laughed, "once you are divorced lets still ruin her for fighting you all the time." Tara with a reddened face was immobilized by anger. Realizing the implications of the tape Pam's feelings of detest for Vince grew red hot. They both fumed and fumed. Both successfully fought the urge to call him and let him have it. Yes, he needed to be ruined and then some, but to have him come to ruination would take time. They also wanted to ruin Jill as she was just as bad. They had a glimpse of how Doris had been manipulated by two grand deceivers. When Doris slipped she became drawn deeper and deeper into a web of deceit. Mother and daughter were determined to undermine Vince and Jill's plan, both their personal and professional lives. Once again Tara wondered how she had not known this side of Vince. Looking back she could now see that though it was hidden there were clues to this side of his nature. From time to time he would go into a tirade and speak very negatively of others. He was manipulative and would make her feel guilty for questioning why he was on the road so much, that she did not support him in his job and did not want him to do well. Late that night when her physical exhaustion and emotional exhaustion pulled her into a restless sleep she cried. She cried for being such a fool and that her daughter's marriage could be coming to an end if things were not handled right. She also determined to speak to her daughter about her marriage. She was not sure if it should continue or not. She heard her daughter out earlier but never gave it much thought as she was so focused upon her own marriage coming to an end with a bang. Just after 9:45 the next morning Tara sat down in the living room with a coffee in her hand. She cleared her throat and with her eyes focused upon the cup quietly said, "dear, we need to talk about something." With a rapid heart pounding like a drum in her chest she continued, "I not sure if it is right for you two cannot to remain married." Only then did she muster the courage to even look at her daughter's face. Pam's face flared with anger. She thought her mother had accepted that she and Jeff would remain married. Then she realized that her mother probably was only saying that she was hearing, not accepting, what her daughter was saying. Before she spoke Pam tried to calm herself before firmly asking, "why? We have done nothing wrong. It would only make matters much worse and denying me of my true love. I would accept your position if we were still engaged, but when we said 'I do' everything changed." For the next hour mother and daughter debated. Within ten minutes Tara knew subconsciously that her daughter should remained married to Jeff. Pam's responses were passionate and cogent. The turning point came when Pam said, "Mom, I say this in life. You need to get a life! You need to think about the reality and move beyond the outdated ideas your parents and grandparents. I am an equal partner in my marriage with my husband. I am not his toy. I am not his servant. Yes, I cook almost all the meals. He does most of the cleaning of the bathrooms, he vacuums and dusts. He does most of the garbage and I do most of the shopping. He cuts the grass and I weed the garden. We each have our own duties. We manage together the investments and bills. He loves me and I love him with my whole heart. If we divorce we will be also harming ourselves and our child. You need to look it all, not just from a narrow thou shalt and thou shalt not perspective." Tara agreed that Pam was right. She needed to look at this all from a more global and broader perspective. This was not as black and white as she first thought. Within the half hour she had acknowledged it consciously to herself but was only putting up the arguments because that is what the belief system handed down to her from her parents would dictate. As the cokoo clock struck eleven, Tara was hugging her daughter and giving her unreserved blessing. "But Pam, no one, particularly your grandmother should ever get wind of this! Divorcing your father will be alarming enough on my mother! I agree more than ever that this must remain a secret! Not even your brother and sisters. Let what goes on behind our closed doors remain there." Pam would have it no other way. That afternoon mother and daughter started to formulate Tara's plan out of Jeff and Pam's plan. It was a plan that they needed to start to implement quickly. Tara found throwing out ideas to be enlivening. She had an epiphany as she started to see a life with out Vince and how that could allow her to explore more of her own desires and dreams. When Jeff arrived home he found young Royce suckling at his mother's breast as she talked with Royce's grandmother. It quickly became evident that Tara now knew the news. Jeff retired to the master bedroom where he studied the reports. He later listened to the plan Tara and Pam had sketched out and to his mother's ground rules. Her rule was that her divorce took priority but she made it clear that she would protect their marriage. Her other ground rule is that when there was a disagreement on a matter, her position dominated. Jeff agreed. As Tara and Pam sketched the plan the hatched Jeff added his own. They agreed which tasks each would assume and to a time line. The first step was for Tara to withdraw funds from her investment account to help pay for ongoing taping. They recognized the value of the tapes but that they would not be admissible in court. Tara asked to have her home phone was tapped and for bugs to be planted throughout the house. When Jeff said it would be an unnecessary expense Tara made it clear she had the money and wanted it done. She did wanted to know if Vince or Jill suspected anything. Jeff agreed to make the arrangements. Jeff's first task was a trip to Chicago to start getting information to help them bring the ruination of Jill. Pam's work was to track down more of the women who had an affair with Vince and to gather as many signed statements as possible. Though Tara told Vince she was extending her visit by two weeks, she was merely commuting to Pam's and Jeff's. The health care company that owned her hospital was opening mid November in a cardiac hospital about 20 miles away from Pam and Jeff. As one of the shift supervisors from her ward was moving to the new hospital Tara was able to set in motion a transfer. Until moving to the new hospital Tara offered to take more late shifts as they would give her reason to limit the frequency of having sex with her husband. Sometime around the Christmas and New Year period she would say that Pam needed her help and she was going to take a month's leave to help her daughter out. Of course she would have to go home to visit just enough to keep Vince from being suspicious. While home she would find fain illness, lack of interest or exhaustion as excuses to avoid intimacy with a man she now detested. They all knew that Tara would have to be a good actress to avoid sending any alarms to Vince. ------------------------ Almost three weeks later as Pam feed the baby upstairs Jeff was doing dishes talking with Tara. She had been watching her son for days noticing with great interest how the young couple interacted. The little looks, comments and touches were telling. She could see that her daughter had found her soul mate and Jeff had found hers. Vince never treated her with respect like she saw Jeff give her daughter. She gave herself in heart and body to Vince. She did her duty as she was taught even though he gave little back. The more distant he became, the more he traveled, the greater attention she gave to pleasing him and to make sure his little castle was well kept. Vince paid her attention during those first few years, but she now recognized that his attention was of the sexual kind, not of the human soul nature. He never gave much attention to her opinions, unless they were in public. There was no loving glances or touches of affirmation. There was no watching television and hand-holding for the sake of just holding hands. Vince's touches of affection had a sexual mission. While a little jealous for what she had missed, she was delighted for her daughter. Starting the prior evening and up to that moment Tara was overwhelmed by a sense of loneliness. The most tragic element was that since her children started going to college she had been alone without realizing it. She had been giving herself to her children and husband for two decades and had come to accept her husband being away for business two nights a week. She received little in return but duty compelled her to care for him and to think that was love. The prior evening she cried herself to sleep because she felt so empty inside. Their marriage had been a shame for longer than she wanted to admit. Romance was never there. What she thought of as romance was just sexual foreplay. Subconsciously she knew the love and trust she had for him died years before which is why she never told him about the private investments and the sum she inherited. It was depressing to learn that one's husband was physically walking out of her life physically when he had already left her. For years she mistakenly thought Vince and her in terms as being a loving couple. It was clear that Vince's understanding of love was distorted and warped. All Vince's flowery statements that she was the love of his life had turned in her heart from gold to bitter dross. Maybe he has no idea how to love she thought, but that was not her concern any longer. As her son finished the dishes she stood and hugged him, she affirmed him, "Jeff you are a gem. Any words I could find would fail to express how happy I am that you are married my daughter. I could not be happier for each of you. Our plans must and will ensure that our secret will remain unspoken or the consequences for them could be dire." When they broke the hug, Jeff saw a tear in his mother's eyes. He felt her breasts pressing into him and as she held him longer than a normal hello or goodbye hug. He thought that if Pam looked and felt this good in twenty years he would be truly a fortunate man. Seeing her tear and having held her, for a split second he felt a desire to kiss her. He felt guilty and embarrassed for the desire he experienced and for enjoying having her in his arms. That night Pam noticed that Jeff remained unusually quiet as he slid into bed. She asked him what was wrong. "Pam, I hate myself right now and I am afraid I could be another Vince" he ashamedly confessed. "Why?" He confessed what happened while doing the dishes and the thoughts he had about how good she would still look in twenty years. Pam was confused and initially angry. She stormed off saying she needed to check the baby. She returned minutes later when she realized that he confessed to her and accepted blame. He was being honest with her. He was drawing upon her to help keep him from being like Vince. By confessing Jeff became vulnerable. She felt ashamed that she did the unloving thing by storming off. Jeff felt compelled to tell his wife but seeing her storm out caused him to wish he remained silent. Pam returned to the bedroom with a tear in her eye but smiling at her husband. She crawled into bed and snuggled against him. "I am sorry dear for my reaction. Even though it shock me, thank you for telling me and trusting me. Forgive me for over-reacting. There was a huge difference between the Vince and you. He would not have resisted the urge. And even if he did resist, I doubt he would resist long and he would have never confessed. One of the things that love the most about you is that you are an honest man." To be continued. Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 05 Seeing a tear run down his wife's cheek Jeff raised his hand to her face. His pointer finger ran up her face taking the little drop upon the tip of his finger. Before licking off the tear from his finger he asked, "what's wrong baby?" Jeff often took her wiped off tears into his mouth as it was his way to say he wanted to shoulder some of her pain. "I am cried because I let you down by storming off." He kissed her on the cheek. "You only exercised our fare fighting rules to walk away before saying anything harmful. I had doubts whether I was right to tell you, but I know I had to do it. I love you too much not to have told you, even if we fought over it." "But it should not be anything to fight over." Pam rolled upon her husband and kissed him. She knew the answer before she asked but she needed to hear the words, "do you forgive me?" As his hand drew her face into him he muttered "most definitely." After a longing kiss he asked, "am I forgiven?" "There is nothing to forgive. The issue was mine, not yours. You neither said nor did anything wrong my love" she announced with a gleam as she felt his hardness below her. -------------------------- About that time Tara was getting ready for bed after drinking a margarita in the living room. She was disconcerted by the feeling that stirred within by what happened in the kitchen. She knew she enjoyed the hug more than she should have. Feeling Jeff become hard did not help either. Feeling desired stroked her ego. She looked at herself in the mirror. Though she had numerous signs of woman in her mid 40s she was aging gracefully. The hints of grey, the wrinkles and the added weight were all there. With childbearing her hips were wider. Her breasts were a size larger than the B's she had when she conceived her first child. Though she was beautiful and men still looked at her, she had heard on two different tapes that her husband was not satisfied with her. For a moment Tara felt that Vince's philandering was her fault. She had not been appealing enough. She could have done more to be an energetic lover. She could have dressed in lingerie more. She could have taken the initiative more often. All these and others flowed through her mind. As she put on her flannel gown and crawled into bed she dismissed any thought of her husband's cheating as being her fault. She was taking ownership of his problem. He had been cheating on her throughout their marriage. She now doubted if he ever loved her. Being away from home had been therapeutic. It allowed her to gather her thoughts and channel her anger in a more constructive manner. If she had been home she would yelled and screamed at him, maybe even have thrown an object or two at him before she kicked him out of the house. Now in the coolness, her scorn and wrath become focused yet controlled. Given what she learned, if she just kicked him out it would have still left him somewhat the winner albeit with modified plans. Having days to coolly plan would allow him to continue his game only to find at the end that he lost. With her daughter's and son's help she was going to trump his divorce plans with her own. Since learning of Vince's despicable behavior she had not called him when he was home. She called when she knew he would still be on the way home from work or when she suspected he would be out at the local bar, or possibly doing something else. Each time she left a brief message saying she called and was doing fine. What was telling is that only once did he call her and that was eight days ago. Jeff answered that night and said she was out with Pam at the mall. Hearing how Vince manipulated Doris had brought out some feelings of sympathy for Doris. Though her anger toward Doris cooled, she still viewed her with indifference and not as a friend. Though it appeared that Doris would end up being destroyed and empty she could not yet find more than mild concern for her former friend. Yet she agreed with her daughter that if Doris wanted to be find a way out, they should give her an opportunity and see what would happen. A big part of her did not like to give her that opportunity. If anything she wanted to claw her eyes out. A small but growing seed in her heart felt that if she would want to be given a chance at redemption if she was in Doris' shoes. What Vince deserved was finding himself alone and destitute, not likely to occur because of the secret he held, but it was what he deserved. As she lay in the guest bedroom she started to whimper. Tears of sorrow soon flowed. She found great joy in sex and was always a willing partner. She tried to be a good wife, a loving wife and mother. She wanted to have another child or two but he would have nothing of it. To her frustration Vince wore protection. Knowing he was denying her another child while he was having children by other women infuriated her to the core. It was then that she was seriously struck by the thought of becoming pregnant with a lover's child. It was still possible. Her tears stopped flowing as a smile crossed her faith. She could say that his condom leaked. Or better still tamper with it so that he would know it leaked. Having him pay child support for another man's child would be an ironic twist. A wicked smile came to her face before sounds of intimacy drew her thoughts in a parallel direction. --------------------- Pam held her breasts against his chest as she kissed her husband with growing urgency. They both may have Vince's genes but he had Royce's heart and character, and she had Tara's. Jeff's excitement grew. His heart raced. His hormones raged. His manly glory was inflamed. She rolled off him. Taking her husband's left hand Pam guided it to her breasts. She glanced down to see the glint of gold that symbolized their marital bond. In response her left hand drifted to his cock and lightly stroked him. She loved teasing her husband. At that moment her impish side burst forth. Smiling she said, "I do not mind you being affected by mom. She is a beautiful woman after all. She has the type of breasts you just love." Her husband's cock seemed to hardened further in an instant. With a wave of lust crashing over her Pam giggled as she moved south to take him deeply into her mouth, "Mmmmm, I see how much she aroused you." In that moment, electricity seemed to pass through them. Slowly she withdrew from his hard shaft. Again and again, her tongue swirled around the point of his shaft. Then with animalistic intent she slid her mouth up and down the long shaft. As her pace grew her hair was flying all over the place. He was hard, very hard. It was a raging glory. Pam could not believe that she too was so excited. Why she was so excited was unknown to her but she was not going to deny or limit excitement she was feeling. Jeff was also lost in the pleasure of the moment. He loved how his wife made love to him with her mouth. He loved how she made love to him period. With his eyes closed another thought flashed through his mind, a though he quickly tried to dismiss. Before doing so, he could not help wonder if the mother was as passionate and skilled as the daughter. To get his mind to other things he pulled her head upward for a wet passionate kiss. Pam had noticed a lustful look when his eyes were closed. She never asked him what he was thinking about the one prior time he had that look. She had her suspicions what it was now. As he was in a confessing mood her curiosity and excitement gave her a temptation that was too strong to resist. As they kissed her hand played with Jeff engorged flesh. Breaking the kiss she asked "what were you thinking about when I was sucking your cock early last month when I talked about keeping this alive." As she said "this" she squeezed and pulled his cock. Jeff did not respond immediately. When she asked again he said he could not remember. Pam knew otherwise. "Were you thinking of some young surrogate receiving your seed directly from the source?" When his cock twitched and his eyes momentarily had a guilty look she knew the answer. What surprised Pam was not his thought; after all it would be a typical male fantasy but that she was not angry with him. She moved down to take his cock in her mouth again and smiled at him. Jeff tried to move his wife's hips into a different position. His intent was to move his face between her legs. He wanted to make love orally to the pussy that brought forth their son. His intent was not realized. Pam had other plans. Without any warning and clothed with only a smile upon her lips, Pam swiftly suspended her hips over his hard cock. She moved as if she was on mission. Unknown to Jeff was that earlier that day the doctor cleared Pam to again have sex. She lowered herself toward the skyward pointing erection. Holding his shaft she rubbed it back and forth across the outer lips of her womanhood. The moisture from within flowed freely covering his manly head with a glistening sheen. After the sixth pass along her channel he could not take any more. She could see the look in his eyes. He was beyond wanting to be in her. His eyes begged for her to take him. She continued to tease him until on the ninth pass, as she neared the midpoint she lowered herself. As her lips parted and as his head started to enter, her husband thrust his hips upward with exuberance. Pam groaned with pleasure as his cock entered her hot wet pussy. In the pleasure of the moment she closed her eyes and moaned loudly her pleasure. Taking him slowly and at times more rapidly Pam controlled the pace. Leaning over him and rocking her hips she saw an opportunity to tease her husband. She knew what the look upon his face signified, intense pleasure at the point where he would respond freely and unguardedly. Leaning forward her lips moved upon his. Through their moans of pleasure they continued to kiss. Moving her face upward just a foot above his she pushed her hips hard taking him as deep as possible. Her husband's mushroomed head stroked her uterine lips. The stroking tip brought both of them the intense pleasure they sought. Pam looked into Jeff's eyes and whispered, "so you have the hots for my mother?" His eyes bored into hers. The look of shock was there but it was preceded fleetingly by raw lust. Jeff could not answer. He did not know how to answer. He just hoped that his body did not reveal to his wife that throughout their lovemaking he found his mind drifting momentarily to Tara. To limit that chance of a look that would betray his thoughts he aggressively flipped his wife around and onto her hands and knees. Taking her from behind was the safest position. Having his wife again mention her mother had not helped him. No sooner was she on her knees and hands when Pam moaned with pleasure as Jeff entered her. Immediately he thrust deep and kept bounding her hard again and again. His hard cock was stiff. She thought to herself, "if thinking of...ohh my, here.....I go again....fantasize away." A wave of pleasure shot through her as she came. Jeff kept thrusting hard driving her through her climax. He was lost with an erotic image of his mother. Pam pulled away and pushed her husband upon his back. She mounted him and rode him hard. She wanted to look into his face and to have him see hers as he came. His heated eyes locked on her heated eyes. Another climax came as she watched the raw pleasure flowing back and forth across his face. His hips were thrusting up as she rocked downward. His hands were grasping and kneading her breasts, drawing forth drops of milk that dripped upon his chest and neck. Her hips danced around so that his hardened tip would explore every part of her womanly channel. She noticed his eyes closed. He rarely did this. While she could only guess what was going on in his mind, she had an idea. Just as she was again about to climax and was starting to scream Jeff proclaimed in a moan that he was about to cum. She was crying aloud for him to go harder for she too wanted to cum right with him. Their mutual release could not have been timed better. Her scream urging him to cum with her and her cry that she was cumming filled the house forgetting that her mother was in the next bedroom. Afterwards, the young couple lay lost in their own private thoughts. Jeff enjoyed their intimacy but he was afraid how to deal with the improper thoughts that repeatedly crossed his mind that night. Pam looked over at her husband as he lay there with his eyes focused upon the ceiling. Her left hand moved slowly across her belly. She loved her husband dearly. She had no regrets being married to him. Her only regret was that her womb would not be able to give him other children. Thinking of the baby, she stood up, put on her robe and went to check on their baby. -------------------------- Tara heard the moans and groans of joy from her daughter and son grow increasingly louder. She smiled at their youthful enthusiasm. When she heard Pam cry out again that she was cumming, Tara's eyes moistened. Vince was focused most times upon his satisfaction that she was more often then not left short of cumming herself. Rarely in the last decade was she sated when they were intimate. Even early in their marriage he drove hard and came quick, so quick that she nicknamed their lovemaking, "the five minute waltz." Hearing her daughter she knew she had missed much over the years. That thought depressed her. She envied her daughter for having a lover husband who gave her such pleasure. As she listened to her son and daughter continuing she tried to imagine the pleasure her daughter was experiencing. She started to imagine a faceless lover pleasuring her and impregnating her. Tara had not been aware that she started to play with her nipples with one hand until she touched her moist pussy with the other. She was carried along by her desires and imagination. It was only after minutes of long silence and achieving her own release did she grasped what she was doing. Shaken back to reality she withdrew her hands from off her body. She rolled onto her stomach. She looked at the clock. If they had been silent for ten minutes then the young couple had been making love for well over thirty-five minutes. As she lay face down in the bed she started to feel sorry for herself. She had stimulated herself and given herself a soft climax. Yet she wanted so much more. Tears flowed. She could not help herself. She was happy for her daughter but her daughter's pleasure only intensified her emptiness and the disappointment over what she had missed all these years. Her soul and body yearned for such pleasure. She also longed to be held, loved and affirmed as she surmised was what Pam was experiencing at that moment. She knew in her mind and heart that she was going to leave her husband. A shiver when through her body as the term "my husband" was spoken in her mind. Tara knew Vince was "my husband" only in legal terms. She now knew her marriage had been a sham for two decades, and maybe since the beginning. In that second of insight Tara crossed the psychological divide, she would no longer refer to Vince as "my husband", only as Vince or "that man." That man's charm would no longer seduce her. No longer would she be taken in by that man's empty golden words. That man was evil, an evil that needed to be exposed, extracted from her life and discarded in a dung heap. Yet she was going to do it on her terms and at a time that would have the maximum impact. She did not know what and how but she knew she would do it. That man needed to be alone and suffer the rest of his life for the evil he had visited upon others. Until then, Vince would have no clue what was coming his way. She was glad that she became an RN, even though it took her years to complete the program. She had her own profession and could support herself. She also had a job offer at a hospital within 25 minutes of her daughter and son. Though Tara knew what she needed to do, she kept crying quietly. Facing the truth that one's marriage had been a sham for years was agonizing. The pain was there, not because she was going to miss Vince, but because she felt that so many years had been lost. Hearing her mother crying Pam knocked on the door as she returned from checking on the baby. Pam drew her into her arms to silently comfort Tara. Tara started to tell her daughter how much she was happy for her daughter. They chatted for nearly fifteen minutes before a crying Royce drew their attention. As Tara watched her daughter breast feed her grand-child she recalled those days of bonding and pleasure. Tara mentioned that her grandmother conceived her last child at the age of 48. Then she told her daughter that as she was still ovulating. When her daughter had a confused lock she told Pam that she wanted to have another child. She said she was thinking about having the child by another man quickly so she could make that man think it was his. She went on to tell Pam that she wanted to do unto that man what he had done to other men. He had taken a strange pleasure from having their husbands raise his kids, turn about was only fair she claimed. She wished she could seduce Royce and have him father her child for it would be a nice twist. Alas, with Royce recovering from a heart attack and knowing the medication he was on she knew that he was not a possibility at the moment. Pam agreed it would be poetic justice for Vince pay child support for a child fathered by another man. She was quick to discourage her mother. She argued that she needed to be above reproach prior to the divorce. After all he was going to entrap her and would have her being watched. Tara sat silently for a moment before saying that all the more the reason for her to get her revenge and find a man quick. Her daughter again warned her about being seen with another man. It could backfire in so many ways. Tara retorted that on her off days she could go to a bar an hour or so west to find a man. Pam became increasingly alarmed about her mother's plans. Picking up any man was fraught with difficulties, including sexually transmitted diseases. Tara said she knew what she was doing. Though Pam knew that once her mother made up her mind it was very difficult to get her to change it, she was hoping to get her to think twice or exercise more caution. Returning to the master bedroom Pam was dismayed about her mother. ------------------------ The next morning Tara headed across the hallway to the washroom. On her return trip, she heard her son murmuring with pleasure. Her eye naturally drifted to the door. Though it was closed, it was not fully closed. Through a half inch sliver she could see the top of the bed and Jeff's chest and face. Her right hand rose but before lightly touching the door to open it further she withdrew it. When she heard him moaning she again raised her eyes and hand. She lightly touched the door. It moved open an inch further. The morning sun cast its rays across their bed. From the darken hallway she froze as she watched Pam's head going up and down her husband' hard shaft. She knew she should move toward her room but her feet and eyes did not concur. Her eyes remained glued to the hard cock. A range of thoughts ran through her head as she watched her daughter pleasure her husband. "Oh to be young again." "She really enjoys giving him head," "I cannot believe I am enjoying this," "I would love to have a cock of my own to enjoy" were just some of her random thoughts. Pam looked at her husband with a gleam in her eye. Taking her mouth off his cock she moved to kiss him while her hand kept stroking his shaft. Their tongues danced back and forth in each other's mouth. Jeff's breathing grew more and more rapid did not go unnoticed by Pam or Tara. Knowing that it was signaling the approaching event Pam lowered her mouth for the third time. That was all that was needed. As Jeff groaned like an animal in heat his warm liquid poured forth into his wife's mouth. As Pam shifted her eyes noticed in the mirror a white sliver. A moment later when the white sliver disappeared she knew her mother had seen them. Wrestling With Life's Cruel Irony Ch. 05 Tara felt nasty watching the young couple. Yet it was so erotic and so beautiful. She was proud how her daughter had satisfied her husband. She took his cum with little being lost past her lips. Just as she started to turn Pam's giggling followed by a moan of female pleasure caused her to glance back. Her son's face was between Pam's thighs. He was going at her love channel with eagerness. "Oh to be young" she thought. "I need to find myself a good lover. And soon!" Tara was even more determined to find a lover to pleasure her again and again. In her room she looked at the calendar hanging on the dresser and did a count. She circled two three days blocks in the next seven weeks when she could be impregnated. Once the initial shock of her husband's philandering and his planned divorce had passed, Tara had set herself upon a new road. She was contented with the direction her life was now headed. She was in charge of her life. Tara knew for certainty that her love for Vince had slowly died over many years. Her anger was more at herself for being a fool for putting up with him and putting on the good marriage face for friends and family. She too had been just going through the motions since her children were in their early teens. Tara smiled to herself that because of Jeff and Pam's marriage that her life was on a new course. She did not want another husband, at least not yet. She wanted a renewed life, to discover new joys and to be affirmed. She wanted to discover more about herself. Yet she also wanted to find a passionate lover and to surrender her soul to a man who would love and adore her, but a relationship that would not necessarily lead to marriage. Being on a new road unleashed the desire to have the third child longed to birth. She was surprised by the strength of that desire. Twenty years of frustration had been growing and now burst forth to life. She was going to cease the chance before it was too late, months could make a big difference in having a child or becoming barren. Clearly conceiving the child well before she filed for divorce would be an added blessing. Here cycles had become shorter and less regular. To the best of her knowledge she had about twelve days to go. In the meantime she decided to make a dry run over the coming nights. Due to Royce's health Jeff stayed his plans to break the news to his father. Before he had his heart attack they planned on telling him the same day that Tara would learn the news. Jeff knew he needed to do it soon and arranged for his father to go with him fishing for a weekend. As the young couple lay arm in arm in the next room Tara was in the next room planning her outfit for that night. Pam and Jeff were in love, content, and at peace with themselves and their world. While life's visited a cruel trick upon them, they had taken in stride. Their life goals to have more children had changed. Though they now had a secret to carefully protect, their love and devotion toward each other was stronger than ever. Innocently sleeping across the hall was baby Royce, the delicate and beautiful life that was the result of life's cruel irony. He was oblivious to how his conception and birth had dramatically changed the lives of his parents and grandparents. He was a wonderful result of that irrational and passionate moment between Vince and Doris. He was unaware that he was at part of a family tragedy that in the coming days was about to play itself out. ---------- Thank you to all who graciously have and continue to provide feedback and insights.