14 comments/ 16685 views/ 4 favorites What We Do For Our Children Ch. 02 By: wieliczka For the first few weeks at home and in her counseling sessions, Sue continued to play the aggrieved wife to the hilt. It is what she had done all her life. It covered up so many things so well. The problem was that her individual therapist was not a push over. The song that Sue was singing started to get old very quickly. She was confronted on her behavior, her attitudes and the life she had forged. Sue started to see that she created an environment from hell. Her denial of her part of her marriage problems with Rich and her life was crumbling before her very eyes. After several weeks, Sue decided to quit. Things were getting to close for her. She never had a chance. Both her parents let her have it in no uncertain terms. She was not going to weasel out of this and stay their child. She and Rich had made some minor progress in these couple of weeks. They told her she needed to continue, and to bring up with her therapist her whole decision and why. Sue never had before gotten such firmness, hard edge firmness from her parents before. It shocked and puzzled her. She was beginning to realize that it was never going to be the same with them again. During this time, the women on the 'Not Welcome' list start to drop off from family and group activities. No reasons were ever given, or asked for. One day Sue found out that an anonymous letter came to the husband of one of those women. All hell broke loose when she and her lover were caught in bed. The video file he and his friends took of the exposed lovers was passed around. When Rich started to talk about it, Sue got real quiet. She was feeling like she dodged a bullet again, but the bullets were getting closer. Sue started to share more of her hidden self with her therapist. She had less friends around to talk with, and with her mother around more, she felt a tighter leash. She was spending more time with her children and wondering about her husband. She and Rich continued to sleep in different rooms since it happened, even though he was invited back a multiple number of times. From having an adequate sex life with him to no sex life at all was hard for a twenty-something to endure. The uncertainty of her marriage, always being one step away from being found out made everything worse. All she had done in the past to prop herself up, to protect herself no longer worked. If she didn't have a therapist, she would have exploded from the pain, guilt, and the loneliness of being unfaithful. Living in dread of being found out was getting to her. After Rich's 'confession', both of them were tested for STDs. They both reported that they were negative. Rich made sure that her mother accompanied Sue and the kids to the Doctor's office for an early checkup. It was a doctor that Grace knew for years. Quietly on the side, she discussed the issues with him and asked for his help. She requested that he test the children too, and report all the results back to her. The strength of their relationship allowed him to quietly do that. The fact that her husband was his lawyer did have something to do with it too. Professional services need to be discrete. The children were clear, the daughter was not. That information was immediately shared with Carla. The next week, all the drivers at the company that Marco worked at were required to have a health screening. When a firm delivers medical supplies, worker health conditions are a point of contract law. Several individuals were sent to their doctors and a releases were required for them to return. Tony was among them. His wife and children were also tested after that, but they were clear. Then another two of Sue's friends on the 'Not Welcome' list had letters sent to their husbands. The very public results were the same as happened to the first one. Sue was becoming more and more isolated in her feelings of doom. Even with all of this happening around her, Sue was going to say nothing to anyone about her being unfaithful. She also realized that she was missing the company of a man. Her husband was still slept alone in another room. As the weeks went on by, Sue was realizing that it was harder and harder to keep up the aggrieved act in the marriage sessions. No one was buying it. Individual therapy was giving her time and space for things that were inside of her, things that she had been running away from, running from her entire life. Without the distraction of looking for a lover to keep herself busy, she started to look at herself. Her girlfriends that were playing around were starting to drop out. One marriage was dissolved, and he got the kids. Another two were in deep trouble. Rumors of others in trouble were rife. A hanging in the morning focuses your thoughts the night before. The only person she could talk about it was her therapist. Sue began to explore what could be done, but the therapist concentrated on the why. Sue did not know why at first. Going over the weeks of therapy sessions, she began to see her pattern. She did not like what she saw; a self-centered thrill seeker that demanded the world bow down to her. She saw that she shirked all responsibility for any of her actions. Now her world was different. If she ever strayed again and was found out, her marriage and her mother hood would be over. She saw how she dumped on her parents, really abused them. She saw how she belittled her husband for working hard, and not serving her hand and foot. She even saw how her parenting was substandard. Boredom and self-centerness let her astray, and it was going to destroy her marriage and children too. She took nothing serious in life, just wanted more, more to be amused by. She actually admitted that she could never feel good about herself again. Her martial sessions with Rich were changing too. At the beginning, she was on the attack, playing the wronged spouse. She started to see that she was the abusive one, abusive to her husband. In one session, Rich spoke about having worked overtime for two weeks to get the money needed for a trip that she wanted. Then he was vilified the entire trip because he had been away so long those previous two weeks. She still had a great time complaining, he just endured her. It was coming to a head for her. In her own therapy sessions, she explored what she needed to do to become whole. Living a lie was wearing thin. She drifted away from her old girlfriends, that group was getting smaller from the divorces and the fear. She pulled herself toward the more upright ones, the ones that would still take her. In her marriage sessions, she started to talk about reconciliation. All the excitement and 'anger' of his one night stand had dissipated. She was shocked when it was repeatedly rejected by Rich. He told her that there was more to go if there was going to be a real marriage. He was not willing return as husband and wife until everything was on the table and discussed. Having her sign that contract was the best thing Rich ever did for himself and his kids. He had something over her and she would lose all she wanted. Not having to worry about her being unfaithful helped him to sort out his own feelings. He knew that there would have been no change if things were still the way they were. Rich saw that Sue realized that her parents were different. They no longer let her have her way, they no longer let her be childish or be less than proper. They could no longer be depended on to be in her corner at best, or neutral at worst. Sue was now required by her parents to be a good mother and wife. Nothing less was tolerated. They had new expectations of her, higher standards. Responsible behavior was expected. Rich had also been very busy during these months. He had been working in his individual therapy sessions about his marriage and himself. His children were the most important thing in the world to him, even more important than himself. Why should he be married to her? Could he trust her? Could he ever trust her? Why be with her at all? What about his children and their mother? What about their lives? What was best for them, then what was good for him. Enlisting his parents was a stroke of luck. They could have easily turned him away. Her father was the one that suggested the contract. In fact, Pete was the one that wrote it. When he heard his granddaughter cry while his daughter was screwing her lover, his whole attitude toward his daughter crashed. He trusted his son-in-law much more than he ever could his own daughter. But he also felt responsible for his daughter being the way she was. The contract was a way to keep her in line, and his grandchildren close to him in case she strayed. Therapy was his last hope for his daughter to remain married and keep her children. - Carla had her hands full. Their three children were all at the stage of needing to have a large amount of parenting. Both parents also had to work to make ends meet. In providing for them and keeping the marriage alive, well, something slipped. When she found out that Tony had an STD, and Rich didn't, she was pissed. She knew that this was not the first time her husband strayed. He had gone to a local whore house when she was recovering from one of her childbirths. Sue was unavailable for months on end due to some complications. She had been pissed at him for asking for relations at the time and just screamed go to a whore house to get fucked if that is all he cared for. He took her word for it and did it. That he actually did that was a shock to both of them. It was a whore, not a lover she told herself. It really did not bother her, that much she rationalized. There was not love there, just protected sex. They reconciled, understanding what each had done to each other, and now, expected of each other. This time there was nothing bad going on in their lives,. The sex was not protected, and he did not come back to speak with her about it. Now it was a slap in her face because she was available most of the time. She was tired and worn from the three children and working and taking care of the house. This was no excuse, this was life. She didn't know if he got the STD from Sue, or he gave it to her. If he gave it to Sue, that meant that he was really going outside of their marriage. Carla shared this knowledge with hers and asked what they thought. She had grown closer to her parents-in-law because of the problem they shared. They were her support, and she was theirs. The grandchildren were the glue. Carla was going to have to talk with Tony about what he did, and spread. If she came in like gangbusters, he would bolt. Then he would get served in a day. The marriage would be as good as over. From Rich, she started to hear about the bits of progress that he and Sue were initially making/not making in these short weeks after the affair ended. She invited Rich over to meet with her and hers to talk about it. This was an area that these Italians had very little experience with. They just knew that counseling was a good thing to do. The Polish and the Italians were going to meet again, just not this time in a parking lot. Everyone was a peasant; there was a joining that made the discussions easy. After all, the issue was the same for everyone. Rich spoke about what his experiences were like. The individual sessions were making him emotionally stronger. He was a better parent and was able to keep the kids out of the martial problems as much as possible. However, the martial sessions still had a way to go, but he had some hope. He said that his wife was slowly growing. He was lucky as that hiss were still monitoring their daughter. He also retained the contract that she would lose everything if she strayed. Marco nodded, for a similar reason. Rich and Sue could still have a regular, non-nuclear divorce, and that kept him up at night sometimes. That remained an option if either decided that the marriage should not be saved or the pain was not worth it. Sue was not the same person she was when this happened, but the longer it dragged out, the more Rich worried that she would call it quits before he made his decision, one way or the other. It will be the kids that be hurt. Marco asked if counseling would help Carla and Tony. Rich was not sure, but it wouldn't hurt. It would at least get things on the table. Living in limbo is not the way to go. It was rough on Rich not being able to talk about his wife's straying for these weeks, but sooner or later it was going to come out. He knew that it would be the same for Carla and Tony too. Lydia asked for counseling referrals and Rich gave him the group where they were going. He explained the formats of individual and martial sessions. He added that he and Sue were thinking of going to group sessions to talk with others who were in the similar situations. The conversation ended after two hours and Rich left. The three of them decided that it was time to start that process, mandatory counseling for both of them. It actually was an easier sell then they all had expected. Tony was a bit paranoid about people looking at him and was staying home more. He had been playing with his children and being with his wife. Their sex life did not exist since his positive screening in the weeks before. He knew that he had no place to hide. His parents did not have to apply anything more than suggesting they both go. He jumped at it. They elected martial sessions only at this time, and started the next week. The first session was a revelation to Tony. He didn't feel that he was being ganged up upon. He felt that he had a part in what was happening. He wife was a strong woman, and that was good and bad. Good in that she would say what was on her mind. It was bad that once she got started, it quickly escalated to the point of it was only her screaming. There was little or no half way point. On Carla's side, she struggled with his withdrawal whenever there was conflict. She knew she was direct, but the more he clammed up, the more angry she became. It was a bad cycle. She adapted by not saying much, throwing herself into her family, giving him space, shutting up and shutting down. That bred more problems later. Whenever conflict would start, it was like a rocket for her. The first thing they needed to discuss was his STD. Carla feared the worse, but they waded into it. He was honest about what happened. A couple of his friends from work were at a bar. It was getting late and there was a girl in the back giving blow jobs. He thought what could it hurt? He said that he didn't think about anyone else, just getting off. A couple of weeks later he found out it wasn't a girl, it was a tranny. All of those guys tested positive on the screening. He looked at Carla and said he told her right away that he tested positive. He saw that she and the kids were tested and they were negative. He said that he was embarrassed as hell, and scared too. It never occurred to him that he could pick something up. Something that would hurt his kids and wife. He told them that he would never be able to forgive himself if he damaged his family. Putting them at risk was one of the worst things he could do in life. Tony had stumbled into his marriage, and later stumbled into children. It was not a goal in his life. Tony just went where life took him. Like his parents, he rarely ever said anything tender or warm or caring about his family. Life was about his duty to them. Tony felt that with that counselor present, he could say things and stand his ground. Someone would be there to help Carla stop from going nuclear. With the protection, he didn't have to live in his head when she erupted. Carla was angry, very angry. But she didn't erupt and lay everything to waste. This session in which Tony could talk with her, calmly and rationally and with emotion, was a first for her. Right now, she was totally unaware of its significance. Carla looked at Tony. She had never heard anything like this before from him. Who was this man and what did he do with my husband? He was not lying; he was remorseful over what he had done. She was in shock. She was still very upset that he had sex outside of marriage, and brought home a disease. It could have been aids. That would have unforgivable, but a bullet was dodged this time. Another time? Their first session went well, and they both got homework to do. It amazed Carla that Tony was diligent about it. Part of her felt that he was guilty about having screwed that woman and brought home a disease. But she was starting to feel that there was more to it. She withheld judgment on it for a while. By the time the third session started, Tony asked to be first. He started to talk about going outside of his marriage, how he met a woman and had sex with her several times. He spoke about what he was thinking, why he did it, how he felt afterwards, how he felt he was destroying his marriage and family. This went on for 20 non-stop minutes, 20 honest and heart rendering minutes. Then he requested that he sleep in the small room in the basement until Carla and he either reconcile, or she decides to end the marriage. There was dead silence when he finished. He could not see anything; his head was in his hands. He was sobbing quietly. All the anger that Carla had could not have prepared her for this. The counselor looked at them both and waited. She was going to let them play this out. Carla stood up and walked to the door. She leaned against it and stared to sob. It took a few minutes for them both to regain their composure. Tony looked terrified, Carla looked stunned. The counselor asked Carla how she felt. It took trying a few times until she was able to speak clearly. "What did I do to you that pushed you to do this? Did I make your life a hell that playing with danger was a way to live? Were the kids too much? What did I do?" Tony answered "You married an immature young man that went with the flow. As I got myself into more and more trouble, I started to take a look at what I was doing. I realized that I started to hate myself. I was acting like my father did, and I hated that growing up." "One day, our 6 year old daughter Shelia curled up on my lap. She doesn't do that very often. I was never allowed to do that growing up. I saw her eyes, she loves me. I saw my reflection in her dark brown eyes, I saw someone who does not deserve that love. That was when I realized who I was responsible for. I looked across the room and you were sitting there with the other two. I realized I was the same failure as my father was, and I was as bad as he was. And I hated what he did. No one deserves to grow up that way." "I've spent the past several weeks looking at what I've done, and I was not proud of it. I think that my father may have had something on the side when I was young. It just never felt right then. I needed to stand up and be a man, a dad, a husband, not what my father was." "Climbing out of the hole I dug myself into was overwhelming. When I realized who I was, I closed my affair. She closed it too. We both got religion. When I tested positive, I knew I could no longer hide. My only contact with that woman was to let her know I was positive. I needed to be responsible. When you and my parents suggested counseling, I was ecstatic." "I've already cleared a space in the basement for me and set up a sleeping bag. We have to work things out before I come back upstairs to sleep. I am going to be a bigger part of raising the kids. More got dumped on you than should have. That has to have created more problems and resentments. Are you OK with this? Will you work with me on this, please? I hope that it is not too late. Please?" All that Carla could think was has been happening in the past month. Tony started changing slightly before he bedded that woman. Especially after he broke it off that Monday. He has been home more. He's been helpful around the house. He has even been great with the kids. The TV has been off more that it has been on. He's been reading with the kids, taking them for baths, playing with them. She wouldn't let him do laundry, but he folds and puts away. What We Do For Our Children Ch. 02 The counselor spoke up, "Carla would you share what you are thinking with us?" She nodded yes, but it took a few minutes for her to start. "Tony, you are right, we have a lot more to work out. I hope to hell that this is true and real for you, we'll have to see. We've a lot of work to do." She paused and looked at him, with a very severe glance. "Is there anything else I need to know? Sexual, familial, financial, anything that will have a bearing on either one or both of us or our family? I need to know this now." "Financially, we are still tight. The kids and you are healthy. I'm a nervous wreck. I have a speeding ticket. Other than that, nothing more. There is nothing more." He paused, "One more thing, I've noticed that your relationship with my parents has been getting better. I don't want to live with secrets anymore. I want to tell them about this." "Tony, I have two conditions. First, we tell your parents together. Second. I don't want you to sleep in the basement. We may not have make love or have sex for a while, but I won't have you apart from me. As long as we continue coming here and working things out, we can stay together. If you fall off the wagon, you're dead meat. You have to rebuild my trust." She paused and continued in a quieter pleading voice, "You have to Tony." =============================================== Across town, other things were happening. With the individual and martial sessions, Sue was changing. Sometimes it was because of herself. Sometimes it was in-spite of herself. Her life with her husband at home remained in limbo. As a family, life was getting better and better. She was becoming a better parent, and in a big way, a better wife. Their interactions improved. As contradictory as it may seem, the marriage was improving. She became part of the team now, no longer a demanding queen with subjects to do her bidding. This was the big difference in their lives. She was pulling her own weight. As a team, she was able to get Rich to join them for walks around the park in the evenings and go to the zoo on weekends if he did not have to work. He was with his children and her more and more. She no longer felt she was the nanny. He also spent less and less time babysitting her attitude and sense of entitlement. She contributed in a positive way to others. She stopped being a drain. She was being supported in quiet ways by her parents. They were reinforcing her good behaviors. They did not allow her to regress at all. It became normal at the end of the day for Rich to retreat to the other bedroom. She didn't have hope that that was going to change soon. She decided to live with the life that was given to her for the moment. She did not give up; she just kept working at herself, knowing what she had to do, and dreading every bit of it. The physical distance was dragging on her. She honestly explored it in her individual sessions. She still could not think about being honest with Rich and tell him she was unfaithful. It scared her to her bones. Finally, she realized that she could no longer put it off if she wanted her marriage to continue. It still took a week or two to really explore all what might happen and what she should or could do. It was the scariest thing in her life. She was going to have to put herself on the line. It could end their marriage. The next week, she was talking about the other women who were exposed. She talked about how she was always living on edge, that she would be found out that she went outside of her marriage. Her therapist asked one question, did she think that she had already been exposed? The insight hit her immediately. Her cheating, her sex on the side was already exposed, exposed months ago. She put everything together in an instant, her husband's one-night-stand the day after her last bedding her lover. He was not that kind of guy, no, never, not sober, and not drunk. The contract, mandatory counseling for the individually and martial counseling together, the changes in her parents, her unfaithful friends going down the tubes one by one. She was set up. She was not the last one; she was one of the first ones. Her husband didn't throw her out, her parents did not disown her. She signed the contract and that would have caused her to lose everything she wanted if she remained unfaithful. Then the counseling started. It worked. What they had tried had worked. Those three wanted to give her a chance, if not for her, at least for her children. There was no doubt about that. All the issues she had in not wanting to tell Rich evaporated. In a way she was more free than she had been since the contact. In another way, she was looking at the end. She worked hard, and Rich worked hard too, all to improve their marriage and family. He was devoted to his children. He was not so devoted to her. She knew it. She knew it deep down in her bones. She did not want a loveless marriage, she didn't want to be friends, to be the kind of parents that stayed together just for the children. She called their marriage counselor and asked for a double session, back to back. She wanted all the time in the world to talk, to work things out what ever could happen tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day to come clean. Since it was an 8PM session, her therapist's last session of the day, she gave the option to Sue if they both felt that they wanted it. Rich tended to work late on the days of their marriage sessions. He generally showed up directly from work. She called her mother and asked if she could bring the kids over early and if she could have dinner with her and her father. This was not unusual and her mother agreed. Sue showed up with a friend of hers to look after the children. She wanted time with her parents alone. They were a bit confused at first, but finding out that the children ate already, the three of them were off to the park while Sue and her parents sat in the living room. She looked at them. She saw their concern, their caring, and now, their puzzlement. She felt her shame, her embarrassment, and her uncleanness. She needed to take the dread away from her life, even if it meant that her marriage would be over. She started saying "You both really love me," she paused, "in spite of what I have done to you, my husband and my children. You really love me. You gave me a second chance and got me into individual and martial therapy. You supported the good things I needed to be. After all the hell I gave you, all the destruction I caused, all my unfaithfulness, you gave me another chance." "I'm so sorry for what I have done to you and everybody. I really don't deserve what you have done for me." and with that, she cried like she had not in years. They rushed to hold her. For the first time in nearly a year, they connected fully as parents and child. They had seen her change, but knew that honesty was needed too. They were hearing it now. She was home again, no longer hiding, realizing that she was still loved, even if she had done terrible things. After 10 minutes, they composed themselves and began to talk about what happened. The details of how it was discovered were never mentioned. She was not going to ask and they were not going to tell her. Mostly, she was talking about her journey. Having connected the dots, she talked about what she saw and felt along the way. She shared what she saw from them, the things that they did and how it changed her. She talked about her children and her changes with them. Finally, she started to talk about her husband. She spoke about what she feared tonight. She asked to be able to stay over if she should not stay at home. They held her hand and said to wait and see. Trust has to go both ways, that is a decision both have to make together. They were still talking when her friend came back with her children said her good byes. It was getting close to the time Sue needed to leave to go to the marriage session. She was so worried that she was trembling. Her father asked if she wanted someone to be there with her. At that point, she gave her parents a weak smile. She said that her husband was going to be there, he would be with her. She received a reassuring hug and drove slowly. She began the session looking at her husband, "You lied to me. You outright lied to me. You told me you had a one-night stand. You got my father to lie too, and my mother. You were never unfaithful. That was an act. You all knew I was unfaithful. I was devious, dishonest, whoring. You got me to sign that contract to not cheat on you. You got me to go to individual therapy and martial therapy with you. You got me to be a better mother, better wife, and a better person. You did all this for your children to have mother to be proud of. You may have even did this for us, but that I never deserved. I didn't deserve anything that you did for me. Why Rich? Why do this for an unfaithful sack-of-shit of a wife and barely adequate mother? Why did you do it and stick with me all these months? Why?" The tears were streaming down her cheeks, her soul was on her face for all to see. Rich sat there in shock at first. She stated by calling him a liar. Then she spoke about what he and her parents did to and for her. She had it down pat mostly. She recognized their part in her journey. She was not angry about it, she was amazed, grateful and awed by it. She was humbled by their generosity toward her, someone who should have been shown the door. It was such a breath of clean air. He heard from her who she was, what she did. He waited for this day for a long time, years actually. The biggest part was that it came out of the blue, kind of. It was unexpected on his side anyway. Things were getting better, but it was slow. Slow and stable and true. The true part was most important. But he knew her, he knew that she really did want an answer. Why? It was going to be hard for them both. They were both overcome with emotion and the tissue box was being passed back and forth. Finally he began speaking. "We have children, young children. Their lives are precious and fragile. They were more important than you were, but you will always be important to them. I owed it to them." He took a couple of seconds to collect his thoughts. He had been rehearsing these words in so many different ways for so long. He knew part of what he needed to say, but not all of it. "My parents had passed away, and I always got along with yours. I knew how important our children were to them. Changing diapers, baby spit up, spilled milk all never mattered to them. I enlisted their help. I knew that I could never stop you from being unfaithful for me. But you would think twice if you were going to lose your children and home. That nearly stopped you cold." "We both got into counseling individually and together. We both worked out issues. With that, you started making your own choices. I was not going to push or prod you. Keeping a person in a marriage by threatening them would only breed resentment. I didn't want to live that way, or have my children grow up that way. You were either going to grow and become the woman I thought I married and be a loving mother to our children, or not. It was all up to you. Our children gave you that chance. Your parents and I supported you to be whoever you were going to be." Sue sat there, dazed at it all. "You are one strong and wonderful man and father Rich. Your wife lost her way, and you waited," she paused with a frightened look on her face, "waited so far, so far for her to come back. I owe you an explanation tonight, for every shitty thing I did." Looking at the therapist then Rich she said, "We have until 10 o'clock tonight if we need to. The kids will spend the night with my parents. I have to come clean to you, I have to be honest. Then you can decide what you want to do with me." He nodded and she started. Having been in individual therapy for these past months made this go quicker than expected. She spoke about her attitude in life, her friends that were all egging each other on. She talked about her rationalizations, her lying to herself and others. She thanked him for getting her parents in on this. She talked about how she treated others badly and her rationalizations for everything she did. She took full ownership for what she did, and who she abused and hurt. That contract was a baseball bat to her knees. She spoke about making an appointment to meet her lover one more time, and an hour later realizing it was a mistake. She said that she was lucky, he may have pushed it, but he also later realized that he made a mistake. She spoke about testing positive for an STD, and later he contacted her to tell her that he was positive. She realized that she could have come down with aids, and passed it to her kids. Young children and exchanging bodily fluids is a normal thing for parents. Disease and death she could have never forgiven herself. She spoke about her journey in therapy, what she learned, what she fought, what she resolved, what she still had to work on. She asked if her behavior changes were really noticed, and rattled off a couple of minor ones, as well as some big changes. He nodded at yes at most of them, and was only puzzled at one, until she explained it further. Then he smiled. That was the first time he smiled since she started. She wrapped up talking about her desire to speak with him, to be completely honest and open about what she did. She talked about how it took time to get it together when her therapist asked her that one question. She looked at him with fear in her eyes, "Would you like to ask me anything? I will be brutally honest and open with you. You deserve any question you want answered." Rich thought. Sue had explained what she did, how and why. She took full responsibility, even some more that she should have. It was much to take in, and the additional time was needed now. The therapist broke in and suggested a 10 minute break. That was for both therapeutic and practical purposes. There was only one bathroom available. It also gave Rich time to think. Sue went out in the hall and shook like a leaf. She was terrified at what she had done, at what Rich might do. This was a day that was long time coming. She did not know what he was feeling. It was his turn to talk. She did not know how this was going to turn out. She had packed a bag that was in the car in case she needed to stay away tonight. They came back after the bathroom break a little bit more calm. Some of the emotions were allowed to settle, things were not as raw as could be. Rich cleared his throat and began. "I've been living with all these questions for so long. And tonight out of nowhere, you start and you tell me just about everything I wanted to know. And a couple of things I didn't. I prepared for this all this time, and tonight, I wasn't prepared for it. I don't think I could ever really be prepared for it. You were unfaithful and now you admit it was not out of love or even lust, it was peer pressure, being full of yourself, it had nothing to do with me. I was a nobody, a nothing, a sperm donor, but you have done that with anybody. I was your paycheck and you became more and more abusive to me as our marriage went on." Sue was nodding yes, and tears were forming in her eyes. Rich handed her the tissues and continued. " Then you were caught, but nobody told you you were caught. You started use the therapy sessions to work on yourself. Work in fits and starts. It was the same way with me too." "Sue, for these past months", and he paused, searching for the right word, "were really difficult for me. You were unfaithful, you put us in danger from disease, you violated the core of this family. I spent much of my time in my sessions looking at that and more. I could have left you any time I wanted to. But our children always have come first, they always come first. That is what kept me going. You were also making better choices. I felt that there was movement in you, and I waited you out. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by staying." "There was no way that we would ever be intimate again until everything was put on the table. I told you that once. At the time, I could see that you were not ready for that. So I waited some more." "Your girlfriends kept dropping like flies. Yes, I will tell you now. I got an envelope on my windshield. I was not tracking you, I was not paying attention. The way you treated me made it easy to not pay attention to you. But I no longer could do that. The mother of my children was fucking on the side. My kids deserved more than that. Your parents were appalled at what you were doing. But your children deserved a chance to have a mother they could be proud of. You have to thank your mother for demanding individual and martial sessions." He looked into her crying, fearful eyes while he reached for her hand, "I think that it may have saved our family and our marriage." Sue was hanging her head in her hands now, the question she needed to ask. "Can you forgive me? Forgive all the wrong I have done, all the hurt I've caused, the shame to our bed?" At that point he kissed her and held her in his arms. "Sue we still have much work to do, but for the sake of all 4 of us, we have to try. We don't know how this will turn out, but we should continue to work at it for our kids and us." ===================================== Weeks later, Carla and Tony's life kind of went back to normal. They were still seeing the family counselor, but cut it back to every other week. Tony was still serious, and Carla knew it. He came home from work one day, very worried. He asked that they talk after the kids were put to bed. The two older kids looked forward to getting a bath from their father. It now always included a story. After the kids were asleep, Carla poured a glass of wine for both of them and sat down next to her husband. "Carla, something happened to me today. This is my time for you to be honest with me, completely honest. Whatever answer you give me, I will accept. I just have to know." She nodded and he went on, "Joey came up to me today, he wanted to talk with me." They both knew who Joey was, he was connected. He was nobody you ever want to get involved with. Carla now knew that this was serious. These were people that you never wanted to be in business with. You never wanted to be forced to testify against them either. She was now clearly worried. Were they starting to take over the trucking business? This could be a disaster. Tony look into her eyes, "He told me that if I ever cheated on you again, it would be my last time." In a split second, she started laughing, then tried to compose herself, then busted out again. Tony was worried, and angry and worried and ended up as a complete emotional mess. She reached over and hugged him. "Tony, I do not know who, how, why or anything at all about Joey paying you a visit. But honestly, should I be worried?" He leaned over and hugged her with all his being. He knew who did this to him, and no, it was never going to happen again.