2 comments/  4675 views/  0 favorites

The Way It Should Be

By: bayboy321



Have you ever had one of those friends that you wanted as so much more than that? Well this is a story about one such friend of mine.

My name is Braderick. But everyone just calls me brad. This story starts in my 14th year of life. I was in the 7th grade for the second time around. I had failed not because of actual inability to do the work, I just didn't want to do it. But that's not what this story is about, its about her, the brown haired beauty of my dreams. Her name is, well, for her sake I wont even give a name. Just know that she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever meet. I first met her online actually, through instant messaging. And then when I saw her at school, I wasn't disappointed. she was cute then, her bright blue eyes were the first to catch my attention. Even if they were hidden behind small framed glasses that hung on her lightly freckled nose and her just developing body was hidden under a bulky pink hoodie. It was an awkward meeting since we had only talked online and now that we were face to face, I didn't know how to act. I was in my strange period like most boys at that age and naturally froze up around a girl that stunning. But as summer approached we began to hang out more and more, and grew closer as friends. But the entire time I held a desire for her, a longing to hold her in my arms and call her mine, a need to feel her warmth against me. And naturally, a want to feel those lips against mine.

It was during that summer that I took my biggest and most decisive action to date. I called her and told her I needed to see her, I needed to tell her something. I met her on the canal bank where we used to spend those warm summer days. We stood under the light post in the early midday sun. I couldn't tell you what day it was, or what either of us were wearing, but I do know that she looked beautiful with the sunlight bouncing off her sunglasses, the summer sun had tanned her skin to a beautiful shade of bronze and the freckles that lined the bridge of her nose and a bit of each cheek were barely visible. She smiled brightly at me and asked what I wanted to tell her. It was then that from inside me came this confidence that to this day baffles me. I told her I thought she was the most beautiful person in the world, and that I didn't have or need much time. All I wanted was one simple kiss. She just smiled and nodded and we both leaned into each other. In my young age I was probably a horrible kisser, but it didn't matter at that moment, nothing did. For me the world stopped and it was only us, my tongue timidly probing to find and meet hers. Her lips softer than velvet and sweeter than the finest candy the world had to offer. My heart felt like it stopped, in a good way, and I was in heaven for that moment. And just as soon as it had started, my first kiss was over.

Sadly, that's as far as it ever went. We grew up and slightly apart over the next couple years. I had my share of girlfriends and she had her boyfriends, and I thought my feelings for her had ended. But I was wrong. In my junior year of high school we ended up with the same science class, and if that wasn't bad enough, we sat next to each other. It didn't happen all at once however, we sat and joked and laughed like ordinary friends again. Being the smart kid in class, I let her copy my answers. We would smoke after school and everything was going just fine. But eventually the stirrings came once again. 

The years had been extremely good to her, and the cute young girl of my dreams was now a stunning young woman. Her brunette hair cascaded over her shoulders with a crystalline shine, even in the dim school lights. Her skin had a more rich, radiant tan, and the shorts she would often wear always complimented her long gorgeous legs and her tight rear. The budding breasts I'd remembered had developed into full and pert C-cups. And her eyes, god her eyes were always so captivating, so awe-inspiring. They seemed to take away any pain or trouble I had just by looking into mine, and when they were accompanied by that beautiful smile, it was impossible not to feel lighter than hydrogen. 

Now in most happy love stories or erotic tails, whichever you personally qualify this as, this is the part where things begin to fall into place, but it wasn't. She dated a few people I knew and I secretly held my growing feelings inside, well I thought they were secret. She knew the whole time, but for whatever reason, just didn't think of me in that way. Most likely a bad case of B.B.S. (big brother syndrome). We stayed friends, again, and had other relationships, again, and it wasn't until after graduation that I'd really be close to her again. After school she had moved out to a beach side apartment, so it was difficult to see her. But on the days we did hang out, I felt a really strong sexual tension, stronger than usual. It started with her always showing me how her boobs had gotten bigger, then complimenting the size of my penis that she'd only seen briefly in an old video I had made with my ex. She walked around one day in just a towel and I about had a heart attack each time she turned at just the right angle and I could catch a glimpse of her soft bare legs and ass. And most recently we got a bit drunk playing ring of fire and she started talking about what turns her on sexually. She spoke of how she needed someone who makes all of her feel good, and I knew I could do everything she wanted and so much more for her, all while trying to hold back the familiar stirring in my pants. To make matters worse, she didn't have a bra on during this conversation. I tried as hard as I could not to look at her breasts, as the cool night air had her nipples standing at attention. 

I was by no means sexually inept, in fact quite the opposite. I was in decent shape and moderate looks, but was most proud of my very healthy 7 and a half inch penis. But while that may only be slightly longer than average, I was blessed with a fair amount of girth, I kept my pubic region neatly groomed but what really made me a great lover as I've been told is the fact that I spend so much of my attention on the woman, making sure she is satisfied before I worry about myself. To me the ultimate pleasure of sex was the soft moans, the silent shrieks and full on screams of a woman in absolute ecstasy. But my fantasies were often filled with images of her in the throws of a powerful orgasm, one caused by me. These thoughts would usually trigger my own orgasmic release. 

I couldn't take it any longer, I had to make her mine, I had to make her realize that I could give her everything she needed. I just wasn't sure how to do that yet. So I waited, again we hung out, we had planned to just go swimming and maybe share a bottle of parrot bay. Naturally I was all for it. The car ride there was about twenty minutes long, we talked and joked like best friends the entire time. But in my mind I was constantly thinking, constantly wondering. How was I going to do it, how would I make her mine.

We arrived at her apartment complex, we climbed the stairs and opened the door to her hallway. Normally I acted like it was a hallway in a zombie movie, but this time I was too enraptured in my own contemplations. We each got changed for the pool, still joking and talking as close friends. I think it was that she feared losing my friendship if a relationship went bad. But it was nonsense, I would always be her friend. I wore my brown board shorts and she came out in a bikini top, denim short-shorts, and my old aviator sunglasses. As usual my heartbeat quickened seeing her like that. I held my towel in front of me to attempt to hide my growing erection. We smiled and both walked towards the pool, I let her lead the way. I'll admit it was because I like the way her hips danced hypnotically in front of me, but I had to look away and hopefully quell the stirrings in my loins.

When we got to the pool it was empty and that's when it clicked, here is where it had to happen. I just still didn't know how it was going to happen, so again I waited for the perfect moment. Thankfully my erection had subsided and I quickly dove into the deep end and surfaced quickly. I looked up at her just in time to see her slipping off those shorts to reveal the matching bottoms of her suit. I bit my lip and groaned quietly as I looked away to keep myself under control. She jumped in not far from me and surfaced like some kind of mermaid from my dreams. Ever the joker, I decided to play around a bit like nothing was any different. I splashed her, she splashed me back I'd dunk her and pretend to swim away so she could catch up and dunk me. Some how in the midst of all of our wrestling she wound up in my arms. Once again I felt a confidence build inside me coming from god knows where. I held her in my arms and backed her up against the side of the pool. 

"Brad what are you..." She started to speak but I cut her off. I had to tell her now.

"I've tried telling you my feelings for you, but it hasn't worked. So now I'm going to show you, and if you still want nothing to do with me I'll understand and always be your friend. But right now I want you as so much more than that," I paused and brushed a few strands of hair from her face, "Let me kiss you again." Like old times she smiled at me and we leaned in close, but we weren't two little kids anymore and I wasn't the same inexperienced little boy. I kissed her with a passion unmatched by even the most intimate love stories. My lips pressed tightly against hers and I felt her hands on my shoulders pulling me in for more. My tongue didn't pass her lips instantly like it had the first time, this time it hung back for a bit, before timidly, yet expertly slipping between her lips. It danced with hers as if choreographed for weeks. Twisting and teasing, our hands slowly traveled over each others body. My left slowly down her side to hold her firm rear. Her right was gently traveling down my chest and stopping just above the naval.

After what seemed like an eternity, we parted our lips from each other and I looked down at her with a broad smile, my forehead on hers, my hips slowly pressing against hers. 

"Wow" was all she could mutter.

"did I get better?" I asked knowing she was enjoying this. 

"Definitely," she sighed and leaning her head into my neck as I again gently push my hips into hers, letting her feel exactly what I had in mind. And that was a Growing desire for her. With her neck exposed to me I moved in and kissed and nipped at her neck and up to her ear before whispering.

"So here or back at your place?" I asked with a bit of a hiss. My hand was becoming more daring, I reached up and cupped her breast over her bikini top. She moaned softly with surprise, and began to feel excited.

"Right here," she whispered seductively into my ear as the hand at my stomach began to slowly inch down to the string holding my shorts. She untied the bow quickly but delicately and then undid the Velcro. Her eyes lit up when she saw and held the 7 1/2" rod. It was large in her hand, well at least wide, like holding a paper towel tube. 

"Gladly," I whispered and pulled back letting her pull her bottoms to the side. In on fell swoop I drove home into the velvet glove I had longed to feel, what I had only imagined in my dreams before this moment. But all of my fantasies were nowhere near as good as the reality. She moaned out softly as I worked a little more than halfway into her with my first slow stroke. With the second one I drove it home but at the same slow speed, I had her held at an angle so with each thrust the head of my rod would rub along her G-spot before finally stopping just outside her cervix. How do I know you ask? Trust me, I know. My hands slipped under her top and massaged her ample breasts, pinching at her nipple. She spread her arms out along the edge of the pool to hold herself up while my thrusts became faster and harder. "I've wanted you for so long," I said with a voice filled with passion, lust, and dare I say it, a bit of love. 

"Oh my god, you feel so good," she moaned as the water sloshed around us from the force of me bucking my hips to meet hers as she too pushed them to meet each thrust, truly wanting it. I moved in to kiss and suck at her exposed breasts before looking up into those gorgeous blue eyes and I redoubled my efforts. I was finally getting my chance to show her exactly how I can make her feel, I was pulling out all the stops. I pushed into her deeply and ground my hips against hers, softly stimulating her pink pearl. She wrapped her legs around me and let out an "Oooohhh fuck yes..."

I on the other hand kept my mouth shut, and not just because it was kissing at her shoulder while one hand held her tight ass, but because I didn't want to say something stupid and ruin everything. "yes Brad, right there, just like that!" she cried, but as quietly as she could be, as my thrusts into her gained speed once more. I held her close as my hips pistoned back and forth in and out of her smooth warmth. "Oh fuck Brad, don't stop," I knew better than to stop. "Yes, yes, yes!" she hissed in my ear. There were apartments all around us, she was trying to be quiet. Suddenly I felt it, I felt her stiffen and hold me tighter, that silent scream in my ear, and the clenching and un-clenching waves that rolled over my cock. This was it, the moment I had lived for, the girl of my dreams was now in orgasmic bliss in my arms. She verbalized that fact as her hands clenched at my back. The confirmation of her orgasm was my breaking point.

"oh (...), I'm cumming," I grunted.

"good," she cooed in my ear as I filled her depths with shot after shot of warm cum. After that I held her in my arms and breathed heavily as my erection slowly deflated and slipped out of her. We both smiled and kissed each other again before fixing our suits. We kissed a second time before I said.

"That was amazing." with my hands at her side and smiling as I carried her back out into the waters of the pool.

"you have no idea," she responded dreamily before giggling and kissing me on the cheek. I was in heaven, basking in the amber afterglow of the most marvelous moment in my life.

"well, the nights not over yet," I told her with a smile, even if the shadows were getting long. "wait, are you on birth control?" I asked, the realization of what had happened in the heat of passion just hit me. 

"yes," she answered with a giggle and a soft kiss on the lips. Every time we kissed I felt higher than any joint or drug could have possibly made me. "now, lets head back upstairs." I agreed and reluctantly released her from our embrace. We waded over to the step leading out of the pool and I watched her ass sway back and forth with each elegant step she took. This was already easily the best day of my life, and I had a feeling it would only get better. We both dried off and walked back to her apartment, neither of us feeling the slightest bit awkward or uncomfortable. She opened her door and walked inside with me in tow. We both kicked off our flip-flops. I was about to grab a soda from her fridge when I saw her undoing her top and I froze. "I'm getting in the shower, care to join me?" all I could do was smile as she teasingly walked down the hall towards the bathroom. I walked in just in time to see her peeling off the bottom of her suit. My heart skipped a beat as I got my first good look at her nude body. She had soft tan lines I found incredibly sexy. Her breasts hung on her chest perfectly, beautifully perky and firm. I couldn't help myself, again I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck from behind. My hands roamed over her stomach and down her legs. She cooed and smiled softly even as my hands were drawn to her most intimate spots. I kissed and playfully nipped at her neck and ear as one hand gently cupped her right breast. I squeezed and massaged gently, my fingers pinching her erect nipples. My other hand slid between her thighs and my index finger made contact with her soft, moist lips. She gave a light gasp just as I brushed the pink pearl of her clit before she whispered in my ear, "why don't you lose the shorts?" I obliged, slowly removing my hands and stepping back to undo the string ties and Velcro that held them in place. She giggled and stepped into the shower before I had them off. 

The water was already running and warm as I stepped in. she had her head tossed back and her back arched slightly as the water cascaded down her slim tan physique. Without a word and while her eyes were shut, I got down on my knees in front of her. This time it was my tongue that elicited from her a soft gasp of surprise as it caressed the lower lips of her sex. Even in the shower she tasted sweet. My tongue danced over her clit as I slowly pushed a finger and then another up inside of her. They curled and rubbed over the soft, spongy flesh of her g-spot. My tongue flipped and curled over her sensitive pearl as I looked up at her. She was biting her lip in pleasure and one hand played with her own breasts, the other was placed on the back of my head. Her fingers gripped my hair as I intensified the attention I gave her warm pussy. I sucked and lightly nipped at her clit causing her jaw to go slack, and her hips to subconsciously thrust against my fingers. Over the sound of the falling water I could hear her soft moans and squeals as I drove my tongue into her velvet hole. Oral sex was definitely my strong suit. I love the sounds and faces a girl would make as I selflessly pleased her with my tongue, and the fact that it was her making those sounds and faces only made me give it my all., I was determined to give her the best orgasm she'd ever had from someone passionately devouring her sex. Her soft mans gained volume and frequency and I knew she was nearing release. Again I sucked and licked at her clit, spinning my tongue in what I called the tongue tornado in an attempt to make her lose all control. 

"Mmm. Oh god Brad, yes!" she squealed as her legs began to shiver and even under the waterfall of the shower, I could feel her cum against my chin and onto my fingers. As she came down from her orgasm she had to brace herself against the wall as her legs threatened to give way. I slowly withdrew my fingers and gave her slit one final, extended lick that made her shiver. When I came back up she practically attacked me, pinning me to the wall. She kissed me deeply, our tongues dancing again to the melody of our lust. "That was the best oral I've ever gotten," she hissed as we broke the kiss. Her hand traveled down my chest to wrap around my stiff cock. She looked down at it with a hunger in her eyes. "why don't you let me return the favor?"

I could only smile as she slowly went to her knees, kissing down my chest and finally her soft lips kissed the head of my penis. She stroked me softly in her hand as her tongue slid along the underside of my shaft before her lips wrapped around the head and and she began to suck gently at first. She moved her hand in unison with her mouth as she slid up and down my rod. I could only groan in pleasure and my head fell back against the wall. she looked up at me with those bright blue eyes and even with her lips around my member I knew she was smiling. My hand instinctively went to the back of her head as she took more of me into her mouth than any other girl had done before. I was in a state of sheer ecstasy slid into her throat. Her tongue swirled over the head of my cock and she hummed softly causing small vibrations to stimulate my already throbbing erection. She paused and pulled me from her mouth but continued to stroke me with a bit more fervor than before. 

"feel good?" she asked me with a smile, already knowing the answer. It was a good thing she knew too because at that moment words just could not escape the confines of my mouth. My eyes rolled back when she engulfed me in her warm mouth again. My hips began to thrust slightly on there own accord as she took more of me still into her mouth. 


The Way It Should Have Been



Submitted with love and respect

Perhaps it wasn’t this way for your first time. Perhaps it should have been.

They met. It really doesn’t matter where or how or even why. It is only important that they met. He was 23 6’1” sun bleached blonde with startling hazel eyes. He went by the name of Don. 

She a brunette 5’5” with an excellent figure. He was divorced and she a virgin of 18. A condition that she was growing more Impatient with every day. Being a virgin not being 18. Her name is Katheryn. Everybody made the mistake of shortening to Kate or Kathy and she hated that. Upon seeing him she decided that this was the one. This was the one that could introduce her to the delights of sex that her friend Rebecca was always talking about. Now how do I go about getting him to ask me for a date? She saw him looking at her breasts so she turned and bent to pick up an imaginary object from the ground so he could gaze at her butt too. She wanted to make sure that he saw the entire package. If it hadn’t been so public she would have pulled up her sweater and shown him her naked breasts. Anything to get him to ask her out!

She needn’t have worried. . He asked if he might call her Kat? She loved that. 

About a month later he explained that he would be going to Oregon and thought he would take a route through Yellowstone Park. Had she ever seen the park? No? Would she like to? YES! He said they would be gone about ten days? YES! 

He picked her up at her apartment where he met the sultry Rebecca. She had been dreading this. Rebbeca was a man-eater. She had no morals when it came to men. If she wanted one she took him! He paid her no more than polite attention. Even when she bent over to pick her purse off the floor and her micro came up high enough to reveal that she wore no panties. None of her tricks were working on Don! 

They had been on the road for hours. They had a hurried lunch and it was now getting on toward evening. Don was not driving fast, not even the speed limit and she sat close to him. He had his arm around her and had worked his hand under her bra. He was playing with her nipple and every once in a while squeezing it between two fingers. He asked her if she minded him playing with his “toy”? 

“Of course not. I like it.

”You can have a toy to play with also, you know.”

She took the hint and with trembling hands began to work on his zipper. She had never done this before. She had felt a few of her dates cocks through their clothing, but had never actually touched the flesh of one much less taken it as a toy to play with to her hearts content. She felt the heat rising between her thighs and the beginnings of moisture leaking onto her panties. She was getting frustrated trying to into his briefs. How the hell do they get it out to pee? 

Don reached down to help her out. Suddenly there it was! A real man’s cock and he told her she could use it as her toy!

Don told her they would be stopping soon at a nice motel just outside Greybull, the next town. He said that he always stayed there when he was going this way and they had a really nice restaurant where they could get a nice meal.

After he had registered for them they went to their room then to the restaurant to eat. He kept her talking and laughing throughout the meal and let his hand slide along her leg, going higher and higher. Just as she thought he was finally going to touch her “down there” he asked for the check.

Back in the room he sat down and pulled her onto his lap. 

“Kat, you’re a virgin, aren’t you. It was a statement, but she answered the question, in a small voice, “Yes”. “Then tonight will be all for you. You must tell me what you want and I will show you other things. If I show you something you don’t want, then you must tell me. OK?”

“I want to do it all! Everything I’ve read about in those magazines. Everything!”

He chuckled, “I’m not sure we can do all of that in one night, but we’ll start. First I would like you to do something for me, if you will. Stand up and take off all of your clothes and let me just look at you.”

This was way before the advent of the thong, but she had purchased a “G” string on Rebecca’s advice and was wearing that. 

He was running his eyes over her body in light brushing motions. Her back, her sides, down on her now all but bare ass. She felt so good!

“Why don’t we start off with a shower. Want to wash my back or something,” he asked? He undressed and took her hand completely ignoring the way she was staring at his cock. She didn’t realize how BIG they were! (He was just average in that department. A fact she wouldn’t ever realize. She would always think of that first one as huge!) He stepped into the shower and asked her to wait while he adjusted the water. The he took her hand again and helped her into the shower/tub combination. He gently kissed her. Then kissed each of her breasts in turn, nibbling on them lightly. Each nibble sent an electric shock through her! Then he handed her the soap. Do what ever you want his eyes seemed to say.

And then she had her hand on his flesh. She was amazed by the softness on the outside and the hardness just beneath the surface. She was totally taken by it. It was ugly and beautiful at the same time. She felt it all over. Then moved to his (what did they call them in those magazines???) balls. He winced when she grabbed them both a little enthusiastically. He explained how they were very tender and she should always be very gentle!

She washed him all over, worried that she might hurt him again. “Is his cock tender too,” she wondered?

After the shower he asked her to lay on the bed. He walked right up to her and began to rub his cock on her nipple. “You do it,” he said. Kitten reached very gently and took that monster in her hand and began to rub it all over her tit. She was amazed that it moved so easily. His hands began to caress her body. His lips began to kiss her all over! He started with her eyes down her neck to the other side and finally to her lips. His tongue darted and plated with her lips and tongue. He nibbled on her lips then down her neck again. All the while she kept her fist wrapped around his marvelous cock. He kissed and sucked her breasts then played his tongue and mouth game with her nipples. Then he began to move lower licking and kissing and nibbling as he went. His hands playing with her stomach then to her thighs. He avoided her pussy and she wanted to scream in frustration! His mouth was leaving a line of moist tension down her body. She didn’t know what to concentrate on first. His hands or his mouth. Would he really kiss her pussy? “Oh, God, please have him kiss my pussy.” His mouth was at the top of her light triangle of hair. She kept it trimmed. His hands were closer to her pleasure palace. He began to blow light puffs of his hot breath on her lips down there and his hand was playing with her ass cheeks. He petted her ass as she raised her legs to give him better access. His fingers were lightly brushing the spot between her pussy and her ass. She could feel her juices weeping from her. She knew she was moaning. She was rubbing her face and neck with his cock. She was beginning to writhe on the bed. Finally his lips made contact with her virginal lips. 

“OH GOD! That feels sooooo good,” she moaned. Then she felt an electric shock travel through her as his tongue inserted itself into her virgin hole. His tongue licked first up one lip then down the other and never touched her distended clit. He began the trip back up right through the center until he was just below her clit. “OH, Please,” she moaned. 

He licked her clit lightly. He went fast then slow to gauge her reactions. He took the nubbin between his lips and sucked on it flicking his tongue slowly back and forth. He slowly pushed his finger into her. He began to pump it in and out. But he stayed with her sensitive clit, knowing that her first cum would be fairly quick. He wanted her very wet and her hole of lust opened up for him. He found what seemed to be the best rhythm for her swollen button. And he sucked a little harder on it. When she was close he took his lubricated finger out of her and sought he anus. When he found it he gently began to enter that rosebud until he was up to hi second knuckle. Then he started to pump there too. His other hand was pumping in her pussy and trying to hit her hymen. He wanted to nick it with his finger if he could. He succeeded just as she hit her peak.

She was pushing her hips up to meet him. She couldn’t help it; she had no control over her body. She was moaning like a crazy woman. She had never dreamed her body could feel like this. Then she went over the top! She just kept cumming! When she had used her hand to get herself off she thought that was great. It just couldn’t compare with this. Suddenly he took his mouth away! She screamed, “Don’t stop! OH, please don’t stop!” 

Then she felt the tip of his magnificent tool at the opening of her tunnel. He slipped it in gently until she felt him stop. Then she felt a searing pain and cried out. He stopped. She began to feel his fullness buried deep inside her, filling her tight hole, filling her very being. The pain subsided. He was kissing and sucking on her breasts and his fingers were toying around the edges of her clit. He was holding himself off her with one arm. He slowly began to move inside her the rest of the way, stretching her and getting to the back of that unused cavity. Slowly out until just the head seemed to be inside her. 

She began to push her hips up to get him back inside her. She felt him began to sink into her waiting slick grasping love hole. He was stretching her again. Oh, it felt wondrous. Now he was stroking his love muscle a little faster. Filling her to the brim. She was beginning to feel other thing like his balls against her ass and the feel of his lips on her breasts. His left hand was sliding along the cheeks of her ass and up her sides. And he was moving in and out of her. Her whole body felt alive, as though she could feel the entire universe! 

He buried his manhood into her to the hilt. Then he began to pick her up from the bed. She wouldn’t, couldn’t let go. She wrapped her legs around him in a frenzy of wanting him to stay inside her. He stood and turned around to sit, then lay, on the bed and she was on top! She had control! She began to lift of him and stopped. NO! She wanted him IN her. Her hips began to move on him and she found that she was getting more stimulation this way. She began to move faster. And faster. And then she froze. With her head thrown back and her body convulsing, she slammed into her second orgasm. Somewhere deep inside she felt his cock grow and then she felt him burst. He shot stream after stream of his man milk into her and she just kept cumming! She never wanted to stop. But she did. She began a slow decent back to sanity. And collapsed on to him, breathing like she would never get enough air. He held her in his arms and caressed her telling her how beautiful she was and how happy she had made HIM! 

She snuggled close and kissed him as they drifted off into sleep.



The Way It Should Have Been



On the RAW 15th anniversary show Trish Stratus and Lita became friends again. No reason for this was given on WWE TV. Here is a version of the events leading up to their reuniting which is untrue and did not take place, unfortunately.

***

Trish's POV

It feels weird coming back, even if it's only for one night.

When I retired I imagined myself never coming back.

My years in the WWE were some of the happiest of my life, but they were also some of the worst.

I'm not coming back to wrestle, that was made very clear in the agreement. Vince offered me more money of course if I came back for 'one more match' but I knew if I did there would always be 'one more match' and I would never truly retire. I'm happy with the way my in ring career ended and coming back now would just spoil it.

Seeing the hotel I'm due to stay at, I park my rental car as close as I can and began unloading my suitcases. I only have to technically be here for the Monday but part of my agreement with Vince was that he would pay for me to stay here for the weekend before the show so I could actually have some time to see where I was. One of my biggest frustrations when I was wrestling was that I've travelled to many exotic places but I was never given time to explore them. This isn't the most interesting place ever but I could do with a vacation.

Sadly I was told on the phone, by one of Vince's cronies of course not by the man himself, that they couldn't get me into a five-star hotel due to 'problems with booking' which probably means they decided not to shell out for money to get me somewhere decent but it doesn't look too bad, I've stayed in worse.

As I carry my stuff in to the hotel room the whole situation only reminds me of my previous life in wrestling. In some ways it feels like a lifetime ago. In others it feels like only yesterday.

I miss wrestling sometimes... well, almost all of the time actually.

Not the constantly moving around part.......... or the painful injuries part.......... I mean I could do without those.......... but I do miss the butterflies I would get in my stomach before a big match.......... and I miss that Stratusfying feeling of victory.......... and hearing the crowd cheering me..........

Ok I've got to stop thinking like that or I'll find myself un-retired. Come on Trish, think of all the pain wrestling caused you. Think of all the bad things like being away from your family and friends, the constant wear and tear to your body, the endless line of men trying to get into your pants, Randy Orton, all those two-faced divas, and all the freaking backstage politics... and then of course.......... there's her..........

I've tried my best not to think about her, I really have. But whenever I'm not thinking about wrestling, I'm thinking about her. It's crazy. She hates me and she's caused me so much pain both physical and emotional and yet.......... I still think about her.

I heard she's going to be at this 15th anniversary thing too but if I lay low I should be able to avoid her. Another one of my reasons for coming early was that I could take a day or two to explore and then hide myself in my room so I wouldn't have to see her or any of the other WWE superstars who I'm not in a hurry to reunite with.

I'm sure I have nothing to worry about though, the WWE only wants me to stand around backstage for a few hours before popping my head out to wave and smile at the audience and then I'm done. Easiest pay cheque ever. I'll be in and out before any chance of an uncomfortable meeting with a certain redhead. The building RAW is in is a big place and this town is pretty big too, with loads of nicer hotels than this one so the chances of me even seeing her are slim and...

Oh God I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I wasn't even looking where I was going and bumped into someone knocking them and their belongings to the ground.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking were I was going..." I said frantically apologising, rushing to help the other person pick up their things, when I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks "... Lita!"

Lita's POV.

It feels great to becoming back to the WWE don't get me wrong I enjoy working on the independent scene again after so many years in the big leagues it's kinda humbling to be reminded how life was before the WWE. I also enjoy being with my band along with everything else that I'm doing now that I am out of the WWE and I don't regret retiring when I did.

Ok that's a lie I do kinda regret retiring when I did but only due to the fact that that new girl is really making a name for herself what's she called again..........Beth Phoenix otherwise known as the "The Glamourzon" 

I've been watching her ever since she made her second debut the first debut she made was along side Trish Stratus during Trish's feud with Mickie James. 

Whenever I watch Beth I always wonder what it would be like to get into the ring with her huh "The Glamourzon" Vs "The Queen Of Extreme" 

Mind you I haven't been called that in a long time. 

I can't deny that despite how great it is to be coming back even if it is only for one night which is probably for the best since if I stayed for any longer than that I doubt I would want to leave. Anyway like I was saying despite how great it is to be coming back I am a little nervous about how I am going to be received by the fans. When I left the WWE I was a heel and they booed me right out of the building. 

I don't know what Vince has planned for me weather I am going to be returning as a heel or what I also don't know who I'm going to be working with weather it will be one of the current divas like Mickie or maybe even Beth all I know is that I am involved in a segment.

I don't know nor do I really care who I am working with just so long as it isn't Trish Stratus. Huh I never thought I would hear myself say that then again I never thought me and Trish would ever stop being friends but for some reason we did. I don't even know why we did all I know is that after Wrestlemania 20 Trish really started being a bitch towards me and I hadn't done anything to her.

I know she is here as well I asked Vince if he was bringing her back as well and he told me that he was saying that she was a big part of RAW's success as far as the brand extension goes and a big part of the success of the women's division. He then asked me if there was a problem I told him that there wasn't due to the fact that I don't want to make waves however I did insist on making my own arrangements as far as accommodation was concerned the reason being I knew that if we where in the same hotel together there is a good chance that we would end up meeting so i put a stop to that by booking myself into a less classy hotel as to the one the WWE Superstars and Divas and Trish are going to be booking themselves into.

This way there's no chance of me.

WOW!

Oh how clumsy of me I should have been paying attention to where I was going not thinking about Trish Stratus now I've gone and knocked over this poor woman. Well let me just get to my feet and then I will help them.

"... Lita!"

I hear a familiar voice say a voice which I immediately recognise and yet at the same time refuse to believe it is. I slowly open my eyes and look in the direction the voice came from and there standing a short distance away from me is the woman I just knocked down as well as the woman who I had hoped to avoid.

"Trish!"

I say aloud as I look at her.

"What are you doing here?"

Trish asks me.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? What are you doing here?"

I snap back unable to control my anger at the fact that I wanted to avoid her and yet here we are face to face when I had hoped and thought that me booking myself into this hotel would stop any chance of that happening.

"I'm booking myself into this hotel."

Trish tells me.

"Your what?"

I ask unable to believe what I am hearing.

"Why?"

I then ask her.

"Because the WWE had a booking problem and I couldn't stay in the hotel with all of the other WWE superstars and Divas."

Trish says.

"That still doesn't explain why your here in this hotel."

I say.

"Because this was the hotel that the WWE re-arranged for me to stay at."

I close my eyes now starting to wish I had told Vince that there was a problem between me and Trish and telling him or rather asking him to make sure that we didn't bump into each other.

"What are you doing here?"

I hear Trish ask me.

"Well if you must know I booked myself into this hotel room in order to avoid-"

I suddenly stop and open my eyes and look at Trish who hasn't broken eye contact with me since we bumped into each other.

"To avoid who?"

Trish asks me.

"None of your business."

I tell her.

"Now if you don't mind I'm going to check myself in. Have a good weekend Trish."

I say and with that I storm past her angry at myself for not having told her who I was trying to avoid and yet at the same time unable to understand what stopped me from telling her I don't.......... I can't.........oh god I do.......... I mean am........ I thought that when she left my feelings would have gone too.......... I thought that when I retired they would have defiantly died.......... Maybe that's why I tried to avoid her so that I wouldn't have to face the fact that they haven't gone nor have they died. I'm still in love with her.

Ok so we're staying at the same hotel big deal we'll have different rooms hopefully on different floors and we won't see each other until we are at the arena and hopefully the only time we will see one and other is when we're in the meeting being told what is happening that night and in the cafeteria other than that we should hopefully not see one and other.

So stop thinking about her Lita just focus on checking yourself in and getting to your hotel room.

Trish's POV

My eyes stay locked on her as she walks to the reception desk.

I'm not stupid, I can tell that she was trying to avoid me by being here, but for some reason I'm angry at her for trying to avoid me. Not only am I angry but I'm... sad! I'm sad that she doesn't want to see me, how crazy is that? What the hell is wrong with me, come on Stratus, get a grip.

Picking up the rest of my bags I walked over to the reception desk.

My thinking is I'll wait until she checks in and then leaves before checking in myself but I can't help but overhear her conversation with the receptionist.

"What do you mean my suite isn't available?" Lita yelled.

"I'm sorry Miss." said the blonde Barbie look-alike receptionist with a horribly fake looking smile plastered on her face, "You're late and we had to give it away to someone else."

"But I booked in advance!" Lita said.

"Again, I'm sorry Miss, but it's been a busy night and there was a huge demand for suites. We have a policy that if bookies aren't here by 11 o'clock we are free to offer the suites to other people."

"Hang on a second." I said speaking up, "You mean to tell me that you gave away my suit too?"

"Did you have a reservation?"

I inwardly rolled my eyes. I hate it when some bimbo reinforces the stereotype that all blondes are dumb. I'm not a real blonde but God knows I've suffered a lifetime's worth of blonde jokes just because I choose to dye my hair.

"Yes I have a reservation." I snapped.

"Well, if you weren't here before 11 then I'm sorry but yes we gave away your suit too!"

I couldn't believe it. Sure I've been to a few crappy places which have pulled this kind of shit on me but I didn't expect to have to deal with shit like this tonight.

"This is a joke, I'm out of here." I said turning to leave, "I'm sure I'll find a better hotel that will be happy to take my money."

"Wait Miss, are you Trisha Stratus?"

"It's Trish Stratus and yes."

"Excellent, a man from your company, the WWF, called a few minutes ago to see if you had booked successfully. When he heard the news your suit was given away he hung up only to call back a few minutes later trying to book a room here. It seems that everywhere else is booked up and luckily for him and you he was able to book the last available room in town here for you and Miss Lita here."

It took a moment for those words to sink in. When they did I felt sick to my stomach.

"You're not serious..." I said, my voice filled with quiet rage.

"I assure you I am. I'm afraid it's your only option." the receptionist said holding out the keys, "Don't worry, its been bought and paid for."

I had a serious urge to slap her. Money was the least of my worries right now.

I briefly considered sleeping in my rental car but decided against it. It was freezing outside and the cars heating system had broken on the way. 

Reluctantly I took the keys from her hands, took a look at the number on it, picked up my bags and started walking to my room, secretly hoping that the redhead would storm out in rage and try and find somewhere else in the next town or something.

No such luck.

I risked a glance behind me and saw that Lita was following me.

She was looking straight ahead of her but her eyes didn't meet mine. It was like she was staring straight through me. Once again I was filled with a mixture of anger and sadness.

Oh God, tonight was going to be hell.

Lita's POV.

"Can I help you madam?"

A blonde haired woman behind the counter says as I put my one very big suitcase down. I know I'm only here for three days however I always pack for every eventuality it's just something I've always done ever since I first started on the road with the WWE I guess old habits die hard.

"Yes I pre-booked a room under the name of Lita."

I tell her with a small smile doing my best to put all thoughts of Trish Stratus in point of fact any thought even remotely to do with Trish i put to the far reaches of my mind and thoughts.

"One moment please."

The blonde says as she looks at her computer screen and types away on the keyboard.

"I'm afraid your suite is no longer available."

The blonde haired woman tells me lifting her head and looking directly at me with a blaintantly obvious fake smile.

"Oh. You mean it's not ready yet?"

I ask her assuming that they haven't gotten a cleaner to go in and make sure it is presentable.

"No Madam, I mean it is no longer available."

The blonde haired woman tells me again with the same fake smile.

I do my best to keep calm even though the run in with Trish has made me very short tempered.

"What exacterly do you mean by that?"

I ask her.

"Exacterly what I say Madam your suite is no longer available."

At this point my patience is at an end.

"What do you mean my suite isn't available?" 

I snap at her.

"I'm sorry Miss." 

The blonde haired woman says. 

"But you arrived here late and we had to give it away to someone else." 

I feel slightly relived to have finally gotten more out of the woman than just "it's no longer available" however now I'm shocked and angry for a completely different reason.

"But I booked in advance!" 

I say a little calmer but not much.

"Again, I'm sorry Miss, but it's been a busy night and there was a huge demand for suites. We have a policy that if bookies aren't here by 11 o'clock we are free to offer the suites to other people." 

The blonde haired woman tells me.

I hang my head and look at my wriest watch and see that it is twenty past 11. An seeing that it is only twenty minutes past 11 makes me angry not at the receptionist but at Trish if she hadn't gotten in my way I would have made it to the desk on time and i would now be in my room relaxing.

"Hang on a second." 

I suddenly hear Trish's voice say from behind me.

"You mean to tell me that you gave away my suit too?"

I keep my eyes on the receptionist knowing that if i turn around I'm probably going to kill Trish for making me late even though it is my fault for not looking where I was going..

"Did you have a reservation?" 

The woman behind the counter asks Trish.

"Yes I have a reservation."

Trish snaps which causes me to smile knowing that Trish is as pissed off as me makes me feel a little better.

"Well, if you weren't here before 11 then I'm sorry but yes we gave away your suit too!"

This causes me to smile on the inside glad to see that Trish is in the same predicament as me.

"This is a joke, I'm out of here." 

I hear Trish say.

"I'm sure I'll find a better hotel that will be happy to take my money." 

She adds.

I go to speak to the receptionist.

"Wait Miss, are you Trisha Stratus?" 

The receptionist asks not paying me the smallest bit of attention.

"It's Trish Stratus and yes." 

I hear Trish call from a fair distance behind me.

"Excellent, a man from your company, the WWF, called a few minutes ago to see if you had booked successfully. When he heard the news your suit was given away he hung up only to call back a few minutes later trying to book a room here. It seems that everywhere else is booked up and luckily for him and you he was able to book the last available room in town here for you and Miss Lita here." 

I looked at the receptionist now wanting to kill her and find whoever it was who had booked this room and kill them as well. 

"You're not serious..." 

I hear Trish say.

"I assure you I am. I'm afraid it's your only option." 

The receptionist says holding out the keys.

"Don't worry, its been bought and paid for."

The receptionist adds.

I swallow hard feeling both full of anger as well as full of fear. Part of me feels like telling the woman to stick the keys up her backside and say that I'll sleep out on the streets however at the same time part of me feels like taking the keys and running to the room and locking Trish out.

I see Trish's hand come past me and take the keys from the woman and I watch out of the corner of my eye as Trish looks at the room number on the key and then picks up her bags and starts walking away from me.

I watch her go still mentally mauling over what I should do. Weather i should go and try and find another room somewhere else weather I should go and see if a friend at the hotel the WWE superstars and divas are staying at can or will let me crash on their sofa in their hotel room (if they have one) and yet another part of me feels like I should stay.

I mentally tell myself that the reason I want to stay is because I also booked a room and that I have as much right to the room that Trish is heading to as she does if not more because I booked it myself.

As I mentally reassure myself that this is why I want to stay and it has nothing to do with Trish I pick up the handle of my suitcase and follow after Trish until I eventually am almost right behind her despite a desire in the pit of my stomach to enjoy the view I keep my eyes locked dead ahead of me forcing myself to pretend as if Trish isn't there even when she turns her head and looks at me I keep my eyes straight ahead of me and mentally keep telling myself.

"Imagine/pretend she isn't there."

Over and over again until we eventually reach the hotel room.

Trish puts the key into the door and unlocks the door I open the door and walk in not waiting or offering for Trish to go first however almost as soon as I am in the door I stop dead in my tracks as I see something which causes me to swallow hard and for my heart to start beating faster.

Trish's POV

I'm furious at Lita for pushing ahead of me. It's not like I care which bed I get but her childish display of pushing ahead of me makes me wonder why we were ever friends. Of course then a million reasons run through my head like how kind and compassionate she used to be with me, what a good listener etc and I just have too pushed those voices to the back of my head and remind myself again why I hate her. And everything becomes easier. Everything always becomes easier when I remember...




The Way It Should Have Been



Easier and harder.

Dragging my stuff in I see Lita just stand there like she's seen a ghost. Turning to see what she's looking at my heart stops.

A bed...

As in singular...

As in only one...

This was a joke! Somewhere someone is laughing at me and when I find out who did this their going to pay! I stand there for awhile, my mind filling with thoughts of vengeance upon the person who inflicted this on me, but eventually I decide I'm just going to have to make the best of the situation. Myself and Lita have been standing here for what seemed like hours. Panicking, I did the only thing I could think of doing.

Slowly I make my way to the bed and begin to unpack. Eventually Lita started to do the same when I stopped her.

"What are you doing?"

"... what is it looked like? I'm unpacking." Lita said, looking confused.

"You're not sleeping with me!" I mentally cringe at that poor choice of words, "I mean you're not sleeping here. Go and sleep on the couch!"

"You go sleep on the couch!"

"Why should I, I got to the bed first." I hated to stoop to such childish tactics but the circumstances left me no choice.

"Oh that's so childish." Lita said, stating the obvious.

There was silence between us as I continue to unpack with my back to her. I didn't want to look at her but I could feel her eyes on me. There's a way she looks at me that always makes me feel vulnerable... naked... I mean naked in the sense that she can see right through me... I mean... she gets inside my head. I don't know how but she does. Luckily I'm an expert at hiding it.

Her voice awakes me for my thoughts. I couldn't possibly have heard her right.

"What?"

"I said it's a big bed and there's plenty of room."

"No!" I said turning to face her again, finally meeting her eye.

"Trish, don't be selfish." Lita said, our eyes locked in combat, "I'll stay on the right side, you on the left and I'll find somewhere else to stay in the morning."

There was silence between us again.

I was desperately searching for a good reason to reject the solution but I could find none. My only other option was to sleep on the floor or on the couch and I wasn't willing to consider that. The couch looked hard as a rock, and the floor looked harder. 

"Come on, Trish." Lita said, giving a half smile, "I don't bite."

I felt sick to my stomach. I can't believe she's making jokes. I'm in mental agony and she is making jokes. Once again she proves that she doesn't give a damn about me and my feelings. I want to slap her but I'm tired and I just don't want to deal with this any more. I just want to get this over with.

Gritting my teeth and hating myself for not being able to find a way out of this nightmarish situation, I finally say, "... Fine..."

I reached down and pulled out my huge extra large T-shirt which I wore when I sleep. I suddenly wish I had brought myself something even more hideous, and more constricting to wear. I grabbed it and my bathroom bag and walked over to the bathroom. "... But your not going to see me naked!"

"What I mean Trish? I've seen you naked thousands of times in the showers?"

I barely hear her voice as I slammed the door to the bathroom close but the words cut through me like a knife. My mind wanders back to the women's shower rooms. Day after day, month after month, year after year of being surrounded by naked women... of being surrounded by naked Lita... oh god Trish get a grip!

Looking straight ahead of me I find I'm in for another horrible surprise.

There is no bath. How can there be no bath? I can't go a day without a bath. I hate showers, they remind me of... 

"Trish, are you ok in there?" Lita's muffled voice comes through the door.

"I'm fine!" I yell out, quickly changing and deciding not to bother with a shower, my heart racing at a mile a minute as I wander how I'm going to survive this night.

Lita's POV

I sense Trish's presents very close to me however i don't move around or turn to see where she is I just know she is there and I am sure that she has seen the same thing I have been staring at for the past god knows how long.

I slowly turn my attention from the double but still single bed to the couch wondering if maybe I can sleep on that but my hopes of avoiding an event worse situation than the one I am already in die almost the moment I see the most uncomfortable looking couch I have ever seen.

"There's no way in hell I'm sleeping on that."

I tell myself mentally.

At that moment I watch Trish as she walks around me and heads over to the bed and begins to unpack.

"Oh no your not."

I mentally say to myself as i walk over to the other side of the bed and begin to start unpacking my stuff.

"What are you doing?" 

I hear Trish say.

I lift my head up and look at her.

"What's it looked like? I'm unpacking."

I tell her.

"You're not sleeping with me!" 

Trish snaps.

I keep looking at Trish and do my best to stop myself from imagining what that would be like even though I have imagined it countless times before.

"I mean you're not sleeping here. Go and sleep on the couch!" 

Trish then says.

"You go sleep on the couch!"

I snap back unable to believe that she actually expected me to let her get the bed without so much as a fight.

"Why should I, I got to the bed first." 

Trish says.

I look at her for a moment remembering a time when she would have said that and it would have been a joke however I can tell from the look on Trish's face that she isn't joking and yet at the same time she knows how stupid what she has just said is.

"Oh that's so childish." 

I say unable to stop myself from stating the obvious.

Back in the good old days both me and Trish would have burst out laughing due to us having always tried to out do one and other until it got to the point where one of us would say something stupid like what Trish just said and then the other would try and top it and we'd both end up in hysterics however it's plain to see from the look on Trish's face that the good old days are exacterly that.

I continue to watch Trish as she continues to unpack with her back now to me and as I watch her I can't help but go back to the day after Wrestlemania 20 when Trish turned on me without provocation without reason without so much as an explanation she just turned on me and seemed to take great personal pride and pleasure in verbally and physically hurting me and her doing that caused me to get to the point where I took great personal pride in verbally hurting her but worse than that I really enjoyed it when I physically hurt her and yet despite how much pleasure I took in whatever I did at the time afterwards I would always regret it and always wonder why I did it and why or how me and her got to where we are now.

I slowly hang my head and look at the double bed and slowly close my eyes knowing that I am going to regret saying that and yet feeling the need to.

"We could both sleep in it."

I say lifting my head to look at Trish again.

"What?"

"I said it's a big bed and there's plenty of room." 

I say changing my words to explain what I mean or meant by "We could both sleep in it." Just so that Trish doesn't get the wrong idea or impression.

"No!" 

Trish snaps turning to face me.

"Trish, don't be selfish."

I say back not exacterly sure what else to say as I stare at her.

"I'll stay on the right side, you on the left and I'll find somewhere else to stay in the morning."

I add not really wanting to show any sign of me surrendering or giving in to her.

I wait patiently for Trish's response/answer.

"Oh come on, Trish." 

I say deciding to try and lighten the mood between us.

"I don't bite."

I add with a small smile.

"Fine."

Trish says after a few more minutes of silence.

I smile a bigger smile as I nod my head to show that we have an agreement as I watch Trish as she get's a huge extra large T-shirt from one of her two cases and then grabs her wash bag heads for the bathroom and as she does I turn my attention to my own things.

"But your not going to see me naked!"

I then hear Trish say which causes me to turn my attention back to her.

"What?"

I ask her confused.

"Trish, I've seen you naked thousands of times in the showers?"

I add referring to when her and me where in the women's locker rooms getting changed either into or out of our wrestling attire.

Trish simply turn around opens the bathroom door walks in and slams the door shut behind her.

I slowly go back to what I was doing before and once my stuff is taken care of I get my IPod out lay on my side of the bed with my back against the headboard put my head phones on and am about to click on my I-Pod when I notice that there is no noise coming from the bathroom. No sound of running water no nothing.

"Trish, are you ok in there?"

I call out unable to hide my concern that something maybe wrong.

"I'm fine!" 

I hear Trish snap back which makes me immediately regret worrying about her.

I decide to simply ignore Trish and listen to my favourite tunes and so I switch on my I-Pod however the first song that comes on doesn't help me to forget about the women in the next room due to it being her WWE Original's song "I Just Want you."

The song starts off with Trish leaving a message on an answer machine.

"Hi. Sorry to call so late, I was just, I was missing you and I just wanted to talk.

Maybe we can talk tomorrow."

An then the song which she sings kicks in.

"Make up your mind, Don't you want me, Like I, I want to feel that, Touch, That haunts me, Every night, 

It felt so right."

At this point I slowly close my eyes as I listen to the song and enjoy the sound of Trish's voice.

"I just want you, You know I, I just want you, There's no hiding, I just want you, Do you want me? 

So far away, (Echo:So Far away) Another night alone, Another day, (Echo: Another day) Another telephone call home 

But one day, I'm gonna find a way to Make you stay, (Echo: Make you stay) In my arms, Till everafter comes. 

You are the one. 

I just want you, There's no denying, I just want you, There's no hiding, I just want you, Do you want me? 

Got a fellin, that it`s time, To make a change. 

Got a feelin` That things, Can`t stay the same, I feel my heart, Losing control.

Oooooohhhhhh

Oooooohhhhhh.

Don't you want me too?

I just want you, You know I, I just want you, I just want you, Do you want me?

Oh-ah.

I just want you, You know I, I just want you, I just want you, Do you want me?

Oh how i want you.

I just want you, I just want you, (Echo: Don't you want me too?) I just want you, Do you want me?"

An with that the song ends with Trish finishing her answer machine message.

"Well sorry to call so late. I was just missing you."

An with that I press stop on the I-Pod and take my headphones off just as I hear the door to the bathroom open and out walks Trish wearing her night clothes.

Trish's POV

"The bathroom's free." I muttered softly as I walk around to my side of the bed, avoiding her eye.

I wait until she gets off the bed before I get on it. I can feel her eyes on me again but I don't look her way. When I hear the bathroom door close I sit there for awhile alone in my thoughts. I tried to stop thinking about the redhead in the other room but she made it impossible for me when I heard the sound of running water and the image of a wet, naked Lita dominates my thoughts. Desperately trying to take my mind off her I reach into my bag to take out my book.

After reading the same sentence for the 15th time I accept the fact that this isn't working. Then I hear the bathroom door open again. I swear that happened only a moment ago. I turn my hand to look at the cheap bedside clock. It's been half an hour since she went in there. How did so much time fly past me? I know the answer to that question of course. It's so easy for me to become lost in thinking about her.

Feeling her presents near me I turn to look at her and my mouth dropped open.

What she's wearing would make a hooker blush. Long thigh high stockings, a garter belt, a bra that barely covered her nipples, let alone her breasts and the world's smallest thong.

Seeing me stare at her Lita says, "Edge used to insist I wear this kind of stuff to bed all the time. I guess now were broken up I could stop wearing this stuff, but I got so used to it now I just can't sleep in a T-shirt. And besides, he threw everything else I had to sleep in away."

Silence falls between us again and I'm suddenly aware that she's been standing for a while and I haven't stopped staring at her. I swear there's probably drool coming out of my mouth.

In a desperate attempts to cover my tracks I turn my head away, pull a disgusted look on my face and whisper the word "Slut." loud enough so we both know I meant for her to hear it.

She simply got into bed next to me and in the loud whisper said "Prude." and then stifled a small laugh.

That laughter cuts through me like a knife. I've been hearing that laugh in my head for years now and it haunts my every waking hour.

I turn over, turned out the light and try and go to sleep. I was expecting to a protest from Lita but she said nothing.

I lay there for what felt like an eternity, un-able to sleep. For a long time all I could hear was her soft breathing. Risking a glance behind me I see she has her back to me also, but she isn't asleep yet, I can see her fidgeting, trying to get comfortable in this far from soft bed.

There are a thousand things I want to ask her and a million things I want to say to her but at the same time I don't want to say anything because I'm so afraid of what she'll say back.

Finally, unable to cope with this endless silence I say, "So, when did you an Edge break-up?"

The words just kind of fell out of my mouth. I didn't really think about them. In all honesty I didn't really care about Edge and always thought she was too good for him... not that I cared.

"Shortly after I left the WWE."

More silence.

"I ended it if you're interested..."

More silence.

"I never really loved him... and I know he never really loved me... that wasn't the point of our relationship."

More silence.

"... what was the point of your relationship?" I finally asked.

"... fun..." she said.

I could feel her smile in the darkness and it sickened me. I mean the way he treated her...

"And to punish myself." she said quietly.

This makes me turn over to look at her.

"What do you mean punish yourself?"

My eyes have adjusted to the darkness to the point where I can just about see her. She's looking right at me, and once again I feel those eyes staring a hole through me.

"For what I did to Matt..." she said, pausing for a moment before continuing, "I didn't love him either... he was my best friend... and he loved me... and for a while that was enough... but at some point I grew tired of it... I try to make it work with him... but he wasn't the one I loved and being with him just made me feel guilty... then with Edge... with him I didn't feel guilty... but I didn't feel satisfied either... but the abuse I got from him and the fans made me feel... I don't know... better... but now it's out of my system and I feel better about myself... I've finally accepted that I can't have what I want... I can't have love in my life and that's fine... I tried to love Matt and I failed... I try to love others, even Edge at one point, but I've never truly been in love with any of them... I've never truly been in love with a man... and the... person I love will never love me back and for the first time in my life I feel like I can truly accept this and move on... I'm finally over it and write now I'm as happy as I think I will ever be..."

Her words sent me on a roller coaster of emotions. Hatred, discussed, jealousy, fear, and something else which I don't want to even give a name in my head. I want to jump up and run right now but at the same time I want to stay.

There is something she wants to say which she isn't saying. I can feel it. I'm not sure I want to hear it but I can't move, my body feels like it's glued to the rock hard bed.

Finally she speaks again, "... So what about you... the last time we had a conversation which was even slightly friendly you were in love with Chris Jericho but you didn't feel you could forgive him for breaking your heart. What happened with that?"

My mood turns cold and I turn over again. I don't want to even look at her right now. How dare she say that to me?

"... It's just that a few days after that conversation you turned on him and aligned yourself with Christian and all of a sudden you won't return my calls and you start going out of your way to cause me physical and mental pain. And the moment I try and ask you about it you either slap me or yell at me. What was that about Trish? Why did you do that?

There is anger and pain in her voice but I still don't turn around. I can feel the tears running out of my eyes as she forces me to remember how this began... how we became... this. She is doing this on purpose... she is slowly building up to the point where she broke me... to the point where she destroyed everything I was and left me a hollow shell of a woman... and I bet she's enjoying it... she's enjoying my pain... my suffering... god why does it have to be this way between us...

"Why Trish?" Lita's now demanding voice broke me from my thoughts, "Why did you turn on me?"

She sounded so sincere, so hurt, acting like she is the victim in all of this... god she's such an underrated actress.

Finally having enough I snap.

Turning to face her and yell, "You know why!"

"No I don't," she snaps back, "that's why I'm trying to find out? Everything was great between us and then you start acting like an enormous bitch when I didn't do anything!"

She! Didn't! Do! Anything! What the hell does she mean she didn't do anything? This is all her fault and I'm not going to let her try and blame me for this!

Jumping up, I turn on the light so I can see her face as I yell at her, "You didn't do anything! You didn't do anything?You did everything! You're the reason this happened! You're the reason I've spent the last few years in hell! You made my life miserable and you don't even care!"

She is on her feet now, looking like she is about to engage in a several hour no DQ Ironman match with me. "I made your life miserable? How did I make your life miserable?"

"You made my life miserable when you kissed me!"

The silence that fell between us was deafening.

I hadn't meant to say it, but I did, and now I can't take it back.

Her reaction was not what I expected. I expected her to finally reveal her true colours and start taunting me, calling me a dirty little dyke until I cried... but she didn't... she just stood there for an eternity before she finally spoke up.

"Trish... I've never kissed you..."

"Believe me you have."

"Believe me Trish... I'd remember kissing you..."

For the second time in my life Lita brings my world, everything I thought I knew crashing down around me.

She could never lie to me, I could always tell when she was lying and when she was telling the truth and right now she is telling the truth... she had forgotten... she had forgotten it all which only made it worse!

As if I was trapped in some kind of trance I just started talking...

"... The night before wrestlemania I came to you in your hotel room. I was worried about what I was going to do about Jericho... and I wanted to tell you about how Christian had been trying to get me to turn on Chris... but when I found you... you were blind drunk. I told you my problems anyway and you just stared at me for an eternity and then you kissed me... and... and... I didn't stop you... I didn't want to stop you... you're lips were so... soft... and it all felt so... right... and you pushed me down onto the bed... kissed me again... and then you told me... that you loved me... and then... and then... and then you laughed in my face like it was some kind of joke to you... like I was some kind of joke to you... and then you passed out on top of me..."




The Way It Should Have Been



I can feel the tears running down my face and I want to stop speaking, but I can't. My words just keep coming and coming and coming.

"Then I ran... straight into Christian's arms. I screwed his brains out in an attempt to regain my sense of self but you wouldn't let me have that would you... you ruined sex for me with just your lips... and if that wasn't enough I found I couldn't love anymore. Not Jericho, not Christian, not anybody. You ruined me! You turn me into this... this empty shell. You made me feel dead inside... like nothing could ever make me happy again... because the one thing that's made me happier than anything else was nothing but a fucking joke..."

I look at her, staring into those eyes that have haunted me for so long.

"Are you happy now? Are you happy now you've ripped it out of me? Of course you're happy... this is a big fucking joke to you... so go ahead... laugh... make fun of me... call me a dyke... tell the whole world Trish Stratus is a fucking lesbo... I don't care anymore... I just want to curl up with my misery and live out the rest of my existence sad and alone. Congratulations Lita... you won. I've been defeated before, but no one has ever broken me like this before. Well done, now if you'll excuse me, I've got some sleeping to do."

I don't even bother to turn off the light, I just lay down and become lost in crying, all my pent-up emotion falling out of me like a river. After a while I feel a pair of arms wrapped around me.

At first I'm so messed up that I can't even tell who it is. Like it could be anybody else. I know this is just another part of her big joke but I don't care. It feels so good to be in her arms I just let myself be fooled into thinking she cares about me... even if it's only for a second while I cried.

Eventually I ran out of tears and I lay there... waiting for her to say something.

Lita's POV 

"The bathroom's free." 

I hear Trish mutter as she walks around to her side of the bed.

As she does so I turn my attention to getting my wash bag and night clothes together and head into the bathroom.

Once inside I put my wash bag and night clothes down onto the toilet seat lid and walk over to the shower and turn it on. I also notice that there is no bath which doesn't bother me at all due to the fact that I consider Baths to be fun but only if your not taking them alone if your on your own I don't see the point in taking a bath people say that they are relaxing but I find a nice hot shower more relaxing than laying in a bath all by yourself. If your with somebody else in a bath you can have some fun.

Once the water in the shower is just right I strip down to my birthday suit grab my soap and flannel and climb into the shower cubical and let the water first cover my body once my entire body is wet I then start to use the soap starting with my arms and upper body while I am doing that my mind goes back to Trish's song which I was just listening to or rather a particular part of the song which keeps playing over and over in my head.

"Got a fellin, that it`s time, To make a change. 

Got a feelin` That things, Can`t stay the same,"

As I wash the soap off of my arms and upper body I think about those lines and how I think that it is time me and Trish changed the way things are between us or rather I tried to change the way things are between us and that I don't know about Trish but I can't stand to let things stay the same.

Mind you this isn't or rather won't be the first time I've tried to change things between us from the time Trish turned on me to well I don't know exacterly when I stopped trying to find out why Trish turned on me all I know is that whenever I did try and talk to her Trish would never answer my questions.

As I start to soap up my legs I begin to think about how best to approach this however by the time I've washed the soap off of my legs and washed my hair I'm still nowhere near a solution to my approach problem.

One I am completely washed I step out of the shower get dry and dressed in my night clothes even though I hate them and the only reason I wear them is because Edge through out all of my other nightclothes and pretty much forced me to wear this.

I can remember the argument I had with him where I told him that I would just simply go out and buy new night clothes and he told me that if I did as soon as he saw them he would rip them up even if I was wearing them he would rip them off of me.

Once I am dressed in Edge's favourite outfit I brush my teeth and then pack up my wash things and heads into the main room where as I enter the main room I notice Trish reading a book.

I walk over to my side of the bed and put my wash bag away I then turn my attention to Trish who has now disguarded the book she was reading and is looking at me with her mouth open.

Evidently she is shocked my night-time attire.

"Edge used to insist I wear this kind of stuff to bed all the time."

I say feeling the need to explain why I am wearing what I am. 

"I guess now were broken up I could stop wearing this stuff, but I got so used to it now I just can't sleep in a T-shirt."

I lie normally I would sleep in the nude but since tonight I am being forced to share a bed I thought it best to wear this rather than sleep in the nude. I didn't even plan on wearing this stuff the reason that I brought it with me was because I knew Edge would be at the Anniversary show and I was intent on going to his locker room and dumping this at his feet and telling him that his new girlfriend could parade around in it. Mind you the thought of Vickie Guerrero wearing this turns my stomach even more than the first time I saw myself wearing this.

"An besides, he threw everything else I had to sleep in away."

I add feeling that I have justified myself enough. 

Trish doesn't say anything she simply continues to stare at me with a look in her eyes which is un-readable. 

She then turns her head away with a disgusted look on her face.

"Slut." 

I hear her whisper.

I secretly snigger to myself having known I wouldn't get any sympathy or understanding out of Trish.

"Prude."

I say back in reference to what she is wearing to bed which is something I would never have expected Trish to wear to bed not that I could ever see Trish wearing what I am but an extra large -shirt wasn't on my list of things I could or rather have imagined Trish wearing to bed in point of fact it's more the sort of thing I would have expected Molly Holly to wear to bed.

I chuckle to myself remembering how Trish once feuded with Molly and how she made jokes about the size of Molly's ass and yet now she's dressing like Molly would.

I watch as Trish turns over and reaches for the light which she turns off without even waiting for me to get into bed.

Luckily for me I am close enough to the bed that even in the dark I am able to climb in and once I am in I immediately turn my back on Trish and simply focus on trying to go to sleep.

Unfortunately my brain won't allow me to go to sleep it's too busy trying to get me to talk to Trish and try and find out why she turned on me and despite part of me feeling that given our current situation Trish will have no choice but to give me an answer another part of me feels that if I do ask Trish will find a way of not answering my question,

In the end I manage to convince my brain that I will try and get her to tell me tomorrow as I try and get myself comfortable in this less than comfortable bed. 

"So, when did you an Edge break up?" 

I then hear Trish ask me which surprises me due to the fact that I had expected us not to say another word to one and other until the morning.

"Shortly after I left the WWE." 

I tell her.

Trish doesn't say a word.

"I ended it if you're interested..." 

I add having a feeling that she probably thinks Edge ended it or she might have been about to say something along the lines of "Ah got bored with you did he." 

However Trish didn't say anything she simply remained silent which made me wonder why the sudden question and now silence.

In an attempt to find out I decide to tell her a bit more about me and Edge,

"I never really loved him."

I say. 

"An I know he never really loved me. That wasn't the point of our relationship." 

I add.

Trish remains silent for a while.

"What was the point of your relationship?" 

I hear her finally ask.

I smile a small smile glad that we're talking even though it feels a little weird for us to be talking in a civil way due to the fact that for the past god knows how long whenever we "talked" it always either led to physicality or always ended up with us shouting at one and other and threatening to get physical with one and other.

"Fun." 

I say in answer to her question as I smile a small smile able to see her in my mind's eye imagining the type of fun that I am refering to. However my smile slowly fades as I decide to tell her the other reason.

"An to punish myself." 

I say in a much quieter voice.

I feel the bed move which makes me think that Trish has turned over and so I slowly turn over and look at her although I can see her eyes I can't see her face so I have no idea what type of expression she has on her face.

"What do you mean punish yourself?" 

She asks me.

"For what I did to Matt..."

I tell her plainly.

"I didn't love him either..........he was my best friend..........and he loved me..........and for a while that was enough..........but at some point I grew tired of it..........I try to make it work with him..........but he wasn't the one I loved and being with him just made me feel guilty..........then with Edge..........with him I didn't feel guilty..........but I didn't feel satisfied either..........but the abuse I got from him and the fans made me feel..........I don't know..........better..........but now it's out of my system and I feel better about myself. I've finally accepted that I can't have what I want...........I can't have love in my life and that's fine...........I tried to love Matt and I failed. I try to love others, even Edge at one point, but I've never truly been in love with any of them. I've never truly been in love with a man..........and the..........person I love will never love me back and for the first time in my life I feel like I can truly accept this and move on. I'm finally over it and right now I'm as happy as I think I will ever be." 

I swallow hard unable to believe how easy it was for me to say all of this to Trish despite the fact that we have hated one and other's guts for months on end not only was it easy but I feel a great deal better now that I have finally said that and gotten it off of my chest.

At this point my brain tells me to ask her the question and I decide to listen to it however I'm not going to jump right in and ask her why she turned on me I'm going to work my way up to asking her that. An so I decide to bring up the subject of her current relationship status.

"So what about you."

I ask her taking a deep breath still feeling that if or rather when I do ask Trish will no doubt find a way to not answer me despite this bad gut feeling I press on determined to find out the answer one way or another.

"The last time we had a conversation which was even slightly friendly you were in love with Chris Jericho but you didn't feel you could forgive him for breaking your heart."

I continue on remembering how Trish told me that she didn't think she had ever felt the way she did about Chris which made me happy and yet at the same time it made me angry due to the fact that I wanted to be the one to make her feel the way Chris did and make her happy the way Chris did.

"What happened with that?" 

I ask despite having been angry at Chris for making Trish feel the way I wanted to make her feel the one thing I wanted more than anything else was for Trish to be happy and I thought or rather it looked as though she was happy with Jericho but then the whole Christian thing happened and she never told me about it or why it happened.

I look at Trish and notice and feel a change in her demenour and watch as she turns her back to me as she turns over.

I decide to explain what I mean by my question of "What happened with that" as well as ask her the main question that I have been wanting to ask her and have asked her countless times before. 

"It's just that a few days after that conversation you turned on him and aligned yourself with Christian and all of a sudden you won't return my calls and you start going out of your way to cause me physical and mental pain. An the moment I try and ask you about it you either slap me or yell at me. What was that about Trish? Why did you do that?" 

I ask her unable to hide the anger I still feel towards having my best friend which is what Trish was and the pain at having the woman I love which is what Trish is turn on me and treat me like well shit basically.

Trish doesn't move a muscle 

"Why Trish?" 

I ask.

"Why did you turn on me?"

I add wanting to know even if i don't like the reason I want to know what made her turn on me the way she did.

Trish suddenly turns over and faces me.

"You know why!" 

She snaps.

"No I don't." 

I respond.

"That's why I'm trying to find out? Everything was great between us and then you start acting like an enormous bitch when I didn't do anything!"

I add.

Trish jumps out of bed and turns on the light.

"You didn't do anything! You didn't do anything? You did everything! You're the reason this happened! You're the reason I've spent the last few years in hell! You made my life miserable and you don't even care!" 

I get to my feet able to see that Trish has been crying due to the tear stains running down both of her cheeks however right now I don't care she's accusing me of causing her to turn on me and saying that I was the one who put her through hell the last few years I was the one who made her life miserable when I've done nothing but try and get her to tell me why she turned on me.

"I made your life miserable? How did I make your life miserable?"

I snap demanding an explanation. 

"You made my life miserable when you kissed me!"

Trish yells.

This takes me completely by surprise.

"I kissed her?"

My brain asks.

"When? I never kissed her..........except for that time before i won the title but that was in the storyline she'd been calling me the "Walking Kiss Of Death" and Vince wanted me to play on that by kissing Trish letting her know that the next career I planned on killing was her's...........but I have never kissed her." 

"Trish."

I say swallowing hard.

"I've never kissed you."

I add knowing that if I had I would most defiantly remember it due to the fact that even though it was apart of the storyline I do still remember kissing her in the storyline and how much I wanted to go off script a little.

"Believe me you have." 

Trish tells me matter of factly.

"Believe me Trish."

I say a tad angry that she is calling me a liar.

"I'd remember kissing you."

I say having no doubt that I would remember kissing her..

"The night before wrestlemania I came to you in your hotel room."

Trish says causing me to look directly at her. 

"I was worried about what I was going to do about Jericho..........and I wanted to tell you about how Christian had been trying to get me to turn on Chris, but when I found you you were blind drunk."

Trish continues on as I stare at her and slowly start to see things happening in my mind's eye. 

"I told you my problems anyway and you just stared at me for an eternity and then you kissed me..........and..........and..........I didn't stop you..........I didn't want to stop you..........you're lips were so..........soft..........and it all felt so..........right..........and you pushed me down onto the bed..........kissed me again..........and then you told me... that you loved me..........and then..........and then..........and then you laughed in my face like it was some kind of joke to you... like I was some kind of joke to you..........and then you passed out on top of me."

I simply stare at Trish having just seen everything she said happen in my mind's eye and yet having no memory of this happening before now.

As I look at Trish I can see fresh tears begin to run down her face and it makes me swallow hard.

"Then I ran..........straight into Christian's arms. I screwed his brains out in an attempt to regain my sense of self but you wouldn't let me have that would you..........you ruined sex for me with just your lips..........and if that wasn't enough I found I couldn't love anymore. Not Jericho, not Christian, not anybody. You ruined me! You turn me into this..........this empty shell. You made me feel dead inside..........like nothing could ever make me happy again..........because the one thing that's made me happier than anything else was nothing but a fucking joke." 

I can feel myself wanting to cry due to Trish having gotten this so wrong due to me not only seeing or remembering what Trish has said but also now starting to be able to remember what I was thinking and how I was feeling that night. However I force my tears back behind my eyes and keep my tongue between my teeth

"Are you happy now?"

Trish then asks me. 

"Are you happy now you've ripped it out of me? Of course you're happy..........this is a big fucking joke to you..........so go ahead..........laugh..........make fun of me..........call me a dyke... tell the whole world Trish Stratus is a fucking lesbo..........I don't care anymore. I just want to curl up with my misery and live out the rest of my existence sad and alone. Congratulations Lita..........you won. I've been defeated before, but no one has ever broken me like this before. Well done, now if you'll excuse me, I've got some sleeping to do." 

An with that Trish lays down pulling the cover over her and I see her body underneath the cover shake and I hear sobs coming from her.

I slowly climb into bed and move up behind her and slowly wrap my arms around her waist and hold her have expecting her to do something however she doesn't do anything she simply lays where she is her sobs have stopped now and so has her shaking.

I take a deep breath knowing that it is now my turn to really open up my heart to Trish.

"I remember."

I start off by saying.

"It's weird but as you where telling me what I happened I remember or rather I saw in the back of my mind the events that you where saying play out. I also remember how I felt and what I was thinking that night.

I remember you telling me about how you wanted to forgive Jericho and move on with your lives together and yet at the same time you felt as though Chris deserved to feel what you felt when he broke your heart and you figured the best way on making Chris feel what you felt was by sleeping with his best friend."

I close my eyes letting the memories of how I felt and what I felt that night come back to me.

"I remember feeling sick and tired of hearing about Chris Jericho it was all you had been talking about for god knows how long. When you guys where together it was. Chris is this or Chris is that or Chris did this for me today or Chris said this. 

An when you weren't together it was worse it was I hate Chris so much I wish I could just do this or Chris is nothing more than a so and so.

I was thinking about this when I was looking at you and I was also thinking about how much I wanted it to be me that you talked about constantly in a good way how it was me you wanted to move on with your life with and so in my as you put it "blindly drunk" state I decided to show you exacterly how I felt which is why I kissed you."

I slowly open my eyes to see if Trish is listening she hasn't moved part of me wonders if maybe she has fallen asleep and yet another part of me knows she is still awake I don't know how I know this but I know and so I decide to go on.




The Way It Should Have Been



"When I kissed you..........I put everything I had into that kiss..........I guess you could say I put myself into that kiss..........I don't know what I expected but when you didn't respond I figured you where in shock which is why I pushed you down onto the bed and kissed you again because I expected you to respond to that..........I expected you to force me off of you and either have a go at me and then leave or simply run out of the room..........and the reason I laughed wasn't because what I was doing was a joke it was because I had wanted to do that..........I had wanted to kiss you for so long..........to show you how I felt and how I still feel today for so long..........and yet I never did because I didn't want to loose you..........I felt that if did anything made a pass at you or anything you would freak and it would ruin what we had..........it would ruin our friendship and so I decided to do my best to remain your friend..........even though deep down I always wanted to be more than just your friend..........An I was laughing because it took me getting completely off of my face in order for me to do what I had wanted for so long and that is show you how I .........felt..........and still do feel."

I take one final deep breath deciding to end me baring my soul.

"..........Deep down even when I was kissing you both the first time and the second time when I had you pinned down onto the bed I knew that I was destroying what we had..........I was destroying our friendship..........and to tell you the gods honest truth Trish..........I didn't give a damn..........not because I considered you a joke but because after all those months dreaming fantasising imagining wondering..........after all those months of wanting to and yet not.........because if kissing you meant that I destroyed what we had together..........if kissing you meant throwing away our friendship..........if I knew that kissing you would mean the end of our friendship and if could go back and change what happened that night..........I wouldn't..........because kissing you was the best thing I ever did..........and if I could do it again..........I would."

An with that I stop talking and wait for Trish's response having a gut feeling that any minute now she is going to remove my arms from around her waist or get up out of bed or turn around and face me or do something which is going to let me know that I have just lost her for good.

Before she has the chance I say the one thing to her that I've always wanted to say to her. I say what I always knew would end our friendship... but I guess nothing can save that any more so I just say it. I say it from the depths of my soul and I mean it with all of my heart.

"I love you Trish... I always have... and it always will... no matter what happens..."

Trish's POV It feels like I've been lying here for an eternity and I wish she would just break my heart and get it over with. I can handle her yelling at me, mocking me and beating me but I can't take her pretending to be nice to me. It's just too much. Finally she says something.

"I remember."

Great, she still pretending she doesn't remember. I can't wait to see where she's going with this.

"It's weird but as you where telling me what happened I remember or rather I saw in the back of my mind the events that you where saying play out. I also remember how I felt and what I was thinking that night. I remember you telling me about how you wanted to forgive Jericho and move on with your lives together and yet at the same time you felt as though Chris deserved to feel what you felt when he broke your heart and you figured the best way on making Chris feel what you felt was by sleeping with his best friend."

Fantastic, rather than just getting it over with she's going to leave me hanging, to let me suffer for just a little bit longer, so she can really build up the story and twist the knife she stuck in my back, make sure I really feel it.

"I remember feeling sick and tired of hearing about Chris Jericho it was all you had been talking about for god knows how long. When you guys where together it was. Chris is this or Chris is that or Chris did this for me today or Chris said this. An when you weren't together it was worse it was I hate Chris so much I wish I could just do this or Chris is nothing more than a so and so. I was thinking about this when I was looking at you and I was also thinking about how much I wanted it to be me that you talked about constantly in a good way how it was me you wanted to move on with your life with and so in my as you put it "blindly drunk" state I decided to show you exacterly how I felt which is why I kissed you."

I feel like I've been just hit by a car. I can't believe what she just said... she can't possibly mean it... can she? No... it's got to be some kind of trick. Oh God, it's just like last time isn't it. She's going to make me think she actually cares about me and then she's going to laugh in my face. I want to run but I feel like I'm glued to the spot. I just won't listen to her. I won't listen to her lies. I won't allow her to manipulate me and break me again. I have to be strong. I have to...

Once again my thoughts were broken by her voice.

"When I kissed you..........I put everything I had into that kiss..........I guess you could say I put myself into that kiss..........I don't know what I expected but when you didn't respond I figured you where in shock which is why I pushed you down onto the bed and kissed you again because I expected you to respond to that..........I expected you to force me off of you and either have a go at me and then leave or simply run out of the room..........and the reason I laughed wasn't because what I was doing was a joke it was because I had wanted to do that..........I had wanted to kiss you for so long..........to show you how I felt and how I still feel today for so long..........and yet I never did because I didn't want to loose you..........I felt that if I did anything made a pass at you or anything you would freak and it would ruin what we had..........it would ruin our friendship and so I decided to do my best to remain your friend..........even though deep down I always wanted to be more than just your friend..........An I was laughing because it took me getting completely off of my face in order for me to do what I had wanted for so long and that is show you how I .........felt..........and still do feel."

Fresh tears run down my cheeks because there's no way she's telling the truth... there's just no way... it's not possible...

"..........Deep down even when I was kissing you both the first time and the second time when I had you pinned down onto the bed I knew that I was destroying what we had..........I was destroying our friendship..........and to tell you the gods honest truth Trish..........I didn't give a damn..........not because I considered you a joke but because after all those months dreaming fantasising imagining wondering..........after all those months of wanting to and yet not.........because if kissing you meant that I destroyed what we had together..........if kissing you meant throwing away our friendship..........if I knew that kissing you would mean the end of our friendship and if I could go back and change what happened that night..........I wouldn't..........because kissing you was the best thing I ever did..........and if I could do it again..........I would."

My heart is pounding at a mile a minute and I can barely breathe. I've known Lita for so long and we were once so close and I used to think that she couldn't possibly lie to me ever. I always used to think she was a terrible liar but now I'm not so sure. Either I never really knew her at all and she's a fantastic liar who is about to snap my heart like a twig... or... she is telling the truth.

I so desperately want her to be telling the truth but I still can't believe it. She can't feel about me the same way I feel about her. It's just not possible and there's nothing she can say that could change that.

"I love you Trish... I always have... and I always will... no matter what happens..."

I whirl round to face her searching her eyes for even the slightest trace of a lie.

I find none.

Those three little words send me into a rollercoaster of emotions. I'd heard them before from my friends, my family and even passed boyfriends but I had never heard them sound so meaningful, genuine and truthful in my entire life.

And then it hit me. A moment which I can only describe as pure clarity. A moment when your mind clears and everything suddenly makes sense.

I had passing lesbian thoughts before but they were never serious, until Lita kissed me and turned my life upside down. I had been spending years trying to tell myself I didn't like Lita in that way because I was so afraid of my own feelings towards her that I just couldn't deal with it. The whole laughing thing didn't help though. But this whole time I've been telling myself that she didn't like me and she only did what she did to try and screw with me. But I don't believe that any more. Or more accurately I don't want to believe it.

I'm still filled with doubt about how she truly feels about me... but I'm no longer in any doubt about how I feel about her.

In my moment of clarity I realise that I've not been an emotional wreck these past few years because I just wanted Lita in a physical way and she didn't want me back... I've been in an emotional wreck these past few years because I was in love with Lita and she didn't love me back.

I don't know when it happened, whether it was the night she kissed me, sometime between then and now or even maybe before that when she was my rock, but at some point I fell hopelessly in love with her and up until this very moment I have been unable to allow myself to even acknowledge it. I think at some level I've known the truth for a long time but I wouldn't allow myself to realise it, too afraid to even think to myself quietly, let alone say it out loud, but now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm in love with my former best friend/nemesis Lita and right now she is telling me she loves me back. 

I still don't know if I can trust her or trust what I think I have heard, but I have too. I'll never forgive myself if I let this chance, possibly my only chance, at true happiness slipped through my fingers. I'm just going to have to trust her and if it turns out she's been lying to me and she destroys me, far worse than before and leaves me to die a sad, lonely broken hearted woman then at least I'll know I tried and at least I won't have to spend the rest of my life wondering.

As I desperately try and gather my thoughts I realise I've been lying here staring at her for what feels like an eternity. Not once has she broken my stare and I can only imagine what's going on inside her head.

I want to tell her how I feel but I'm so afraid. I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I can tell her what's in my heart but I know I have too. But first I want her to say it again. I've got to make sure I didn't miss hear her. I've got to look in her eyes and know she is telling the truth.

With my voice barely above a whisper I finally say, "... You love me..."

I meant for it to sound like a question but my throat is so dry and my mind so numb it comes out as more of a statement.

Before I had the chance to try and correct myself she reaches out and brushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear before gently taking my face in her hand and said, "With all of my heart."

I feel myself melting away but I'm able to hide it from her. I've become very good at hiding my true feelings from her over the past few years. When I turned round to face her she drew back her arms like I had slapped her. Now she was touching me again this time with even more tenderness and it was driving me crazy but I needed to hear the words. I needed to hear her say it.

"... Say it..."

It felt like such a struggle just to get those words out. I feel like someone's choking me, preventing me from saying everything I want to say to her. I can barely say a simple sentence like that to her.

There is more dead silence between us which kills me.

Finally she says, "I love you Trish... I've loved you from the moment I saw you and no matter what has happened between us and no matter what comes next I will always love you..." 

For the first time in what feels like an eternity she breaks eye contact with me looking downwards, avoiding my eye.

"... if you don't feel the same way that's fine... I never truly expected you too... I just wanted to tell you... I guess I just needed to tell you..."

She looks up at me again with tears running down her cheeks.

"You were never, ever a joke to me Trish and you never will be. I love you... and whatever you say or whatever you do... I love you... I'll always love you."

I stare at her, my mind racing with a thousand different thoughts and feelings. There is so much I want to say to her but in the end only two little words fall out of my mouth which are able to sum up almost everything I'm feeling right now.

"Prove it."

She searches my eyes for some time. I'm not sure what she's looking for but eventually she begins to bring her face slowly... oh so slowly towards me until her lips are millimetres away from mine.

There is a moment where it feels like she's waiting for me to protest, to object, to stop her. At that moment I want to tell her the last thing I want her to do is stop, but she doesn't give me the chance.

When her lips slowly pressed against mine it felt like my lips were set on fire with incredible sensations. The emotion is so strong it scares me and I almost pull back from her as if I've been touched by fire. But instead of pulling away at push forward throwing myself into the fire to be consumed, pressing my lips firmly back against her.

In my experience this is when the guy I'm kissing would shove his tongue in my mouth and try and fuck my tonsils with it. I was quite willing to let Lita do that to me but instead she increase the intensity of her kiss with out adding her tongue straight away. The kiss was soft, yet passionate. It felt like she was slowly giving me everything she had and I was more than happy to return everything she gave me twice over.

Eventually I felt the gentle lap of her tongue against my lips and I couldn't open them fast enough to let her in. When our tongues touched I felt like someone had thrown gasoline on the fire inside me. I increased the intensity of the kiss with a force that surprised even me. I had never been this passionate with anyone before, but I guess she just bought that out of me.

Finally she broke the kiss gasping for oxygen. I hadn't even noticed that she had rolled us so that I was on my back and she was now lying on top of me. Our bodies seem to be a perfect fit, her flesh pressed against my flesh so wonderfully it surprises me that I didn't notice it before. 

Looking down at me she does something that scares the crap out of me... she smiles.

It's the same beautiful smile that at some point I fell in love with... but it's the same beautiful smile she gave me before she laughed in my face last time.

I braced myself, waiting for her to laugh, waiting for her to tell me that she was lying before and that I really am just a big joke to her... but she doesn't, she leans back down and kisses me again, harder than before and for the first time I truly realise it. I truly realise that she meant what she said... she loved me! Lita loved me! The woman I love loved me back! I've never been so happy in all of my life.

As our kiss becomes more frantic my hands start to wonder up and down her back, squeezing these wonderful little moans out of her mouth as I continue to worship her lips with my own. This only encourages her to run her hands up and down my sides, setting fire to whatever part of my skin she touches.

I'm suddenly incredibly embarrassed about what I'm wearing. I've dressed in the most obscenely nasty thought provoking lingerie and here I am dressed in a giant T-shirt like some kind of slop. I blush to myself thinking about the granny panties which the T-shirt is hiding. In my defence I only wore this as some kind of morbid protection from her but now the last thing I want to do is turn her off. The second she takes a look at those granny panties she's either going to be disgusted with me or laugh her head off. Almost definitely the second one.

I suddenly realise I'm thinking about her seeing my panties and it dawns on me exactly what it is I truly want to happen here tonight. I'm not the kind of woman to sleep with someone before even a first date but it feels like I've been dating her for years and I need her more than I've ever needed any one right now.

Breaking the kiss once again she kisses her way to my neck, sucking on the sensitive flesh she finds there, somehow finding all my sensitive spots without even trying making me squirm with pleasure under her.

I gasp when I feel her gently nibbling on my neck as if she's trying to leave a mark... which I find an incredible turn on before bringing her lips to my ear and whispering, "If you want me to stop at any time, just say so, ok?"

I feel like she's knocked the wind out of me again as I realise she wants what I want. I'm so overwhelmed I can barely nod a reply.

This puts that beautiful smile back on her face and she sits up, gently grabbing the bottom of my horrible shirt and began to remove it from my body, searching my eyes for any signs of resistance. The only reaction I give her is to lift my body up at an angle so she can remove my shirt and toss the item aside without even looking where she throws it. Quite honestly I don't give a damn were she throws it.

I was worried this would be the moment when she spots my granny panties and burst out laughing, but instead her eyes focus on my full breasts, a look of shameless lust covering her face.

I'm very proud of my breasts, they really are a work of art. I've been told by many men their my best feature. Their full, round, and firm. Their big, but not too big. At the risk of sounding egotistical, they're perfect and they've been an awesome weapon in seducing men... and now women apparently.

I fully expected her to bury her face in my cleavage and live out whatever fantasy her perverted mind could come up with my bountiful bosom. Instead she refocused on my eyes, something no man had ever done before after getting a look at my chest, and leaned down to kiss me just as passionately as before, as if she's telling me that it's me she wants and not my body. My body is just a convenient plus. Although she doesn't say it I can feel it and, somehow in a way I can't describe, I know it to be true, which only makes me hotter for her.

Breaking the kiss again she kisses her way back down my neck on her way to my boobs, but not rushing it, taking her time to enjoy my flesh like it's some kind of delicacy to her, making sure to get all the sweet spots on my neck before finally sliding her tongue from the bottom of my breast to my nipple and take it into her mouth.

I swear I thought I was going to cum right then and there.

In all my previous experiences when a man first got his hands on my boobs he would start slobbering all over them and treated them like they were his own personal toys. Lita was completely different, slowly and gently licking my nipple before moving to the other and repeating the same treatment, worshipping my breasts with her lips and tongue, once again hitting every spot that needed to be hit, when it needed to be hit.

When I got my implants I was terrified I would lose the sensitivity in my nipples. They had always been a huge pleasure point for me and I had heard horror stories of botched boob jobs which left girls unable to feel anything in their breasts ever again. Luckily I was able to get the money to get a quality surgeon who did a masterful job on my rack. Every year I almost sent him a Christmas card thanking him for a job well done. I think that I am going to have too this year because now I found someone who can bring out pleasure in them I've never dreamed of before.




The Way It Should Have Been



Reaching down I cup her head to my breast, feeding her my nipple like a mother feeds its babe. In response she bought one of those soft, wonderful hands to massage the opposite breast, as the other trail down my stomach, making me gasp as I realise where she was headed.

She looks up into my eyes once again looking for hesitation, her lips never leaving my breasts.

I don't want to say a word. I'm terrified of breaking whatever spell has fallen between us. So instead I just looked down at her with nothing but lust, hoping she will get the message to continue.

Apparently she does.

Her hand reaches my pantie covered pussy. The simple feel of her hand against my centre has me practically creaming myself and I thrust my hips upward in an attempt to encourage her to do what I want her to do. I feel that smile around my nipple before she starts rubbing her fingers up and down my pantie covered pussy, causing me to let out a long moan in pleasure. She smiles again around my nipple before moving to the other nipple, using a hand to guide it into her mouth as she continues to massage the breast itself.

I've never been so turned on in all my life. I can feel myself soaking my panties in my cunt juice as she teases my pussy lips through the fabric, driving me crazy.

I want her to slide her fingers into my panties... to slide her fingers into me... to fuck me with those beautiful fingers of hers that have caused me so much pleasure... but I still can't speak. The lump in my throat feels gigantic and I'm terrified of saying something wrong because I don't think I could bear for her to stop now. I want this... I need this.

Luckily for me Lita doesn't deny me what I need and slips her hand inside my panties and gently rubs my downstairs lips with her fingers before gently pushing one of them inside me forcing me to cry out in pleasure.

Not many guys have actually fingered me before and even when they have it's only a couple of rough thrusts before they inevitably thrust another part of themselves into me. But this is so beyond any of that it seems an insult to compare it. What Lita's fingers are doing to me is so much better than anything I've ever felt before and I'm so ready for her. I'm so ready for her to fuck me.

I thrust my hips towards her in need but this time she doesn't give me what I want straight away, choosing to tease me some more by gently sliding her finger through me, her mouth and tongue continuing to work at my breasts allowing me to feel her self satisfied smiles, knowing the pleasure she is causing me.

It feels like she's been teasing me for hours I swear we must have missed the RAW 15th anniversary show already but I don't give a fuck. There is nowhere I'd rather be right now than right here with her.

All the same I wish she'd actually give me the climax I'm craving from her... the climax I know she and only she can give me. But yet she continues to torture me, to lick and suck my nipples, moving from one to the other, massaging my breasts with her left hand as the index finger of her right fucks me at a horribly slow rate.

Eventually I speak. I have to. I don't want to risk ending this, but I need her more than I've ever needed anything in my life. I need her to fuck me. I need to be fucked by her.

"Please... Lita... fuck me..."

The words fall almost surprisingly easily out of my mouth but they're so soft I almost don't hear them myself but apparently she does because she immediately lets go of my nipple and brings her face up to mine to search it for any doubt. I can damn well guarantee she won't find any, no matter how hard she looks.

Finally, when it seems like she is satisfied that this is what I want, she leans forward to kiss my forehead and says those words that make my insides melt.

"I love you Trish."

Then she pushes a second finger inside of me and begins to gently increase the pace of her finger fucking, her body hovering over me as her eyes stare through the windows of my soul. Those eyes tell me the never-ending love and devotion to me which makes me feel almost as good as those wonderful fingers moving inside of me.

Desperate to feel her against me I reach up with my arms and lock them around her. I do the same with my legs and lock them around her lower back, pulling her into me so she's literally lying on top of me, her fingers still pounding away at my pussy, finally giving me the penetration I desire.

I'm crying out and moaning for her and she's just staring at me, like I'm some kind of work of art or something when I find myself becoming overwhelmed by her beauty. I can't believe I never realised just how beautiful she is until now. I mean, I've wanted her for so long but this is the first time I've allowed myself to acknowledge my true desires for her... to acknowledge my need for her. And oh how I need her now.

Her eyes never leave mine and she fucks me to climax. I'm honestly surprised it took me this long to cum, I've been so on edge since the first time she touched me. I guess I was trying to hold back, to allow myself time to enjoy the sensational feeling, this feeling I've wanted for so long and now I finally have. But all good things must come to an end. However this was the best ending ever.

Finally adjusting her stroke, Lita began to curl her fingers inside my pussy, as if she was beckoning me to come closer to her, which seemed to stimulate the most sensitive areas inside me which brought me to the peak of my orgasm.

And then she rubbed my clit with her thumb.

My pussy clamped down on her fingers and I exploded in an almost violent orgasm, far more powerful than any I had known before. It rocked my body and had me shaking in her arms as stars flew past my eyes and exploded in a blaze of glory. The whole time she was continuing to look at me with such love and devotion that I realised in my euphoria she wasn't fucking me... she was making love to me. This revelation only made my climax even more satisfying as I finally came down, my arms and legs releasing her as my body became limp.

Lita just stayed there for a while watching me come back from the paradise she had sent me to before she finally removed her fingers from my pussy and brought them up to her lips.

Slowly she opened her mouth and slid the soaking digits inside, her eyes fluttering as she tasted me.

She let out the most primal moan I've ever heard as she gently sucked on her own fingers before she slowly pulled them free and said, "Oh fuck Trish... you taste so good... I have to have more..." her voice at this point became so husky that I thought I might cum again just from hearing her speak, "Can I Trish? Can I taste you?"

She could do a lot more than that. She could do anything she wanted to me at this point and I would have let her.

Again I find myself wanting to tell her everything that's on my mind, I want to tell her how much this means to me, how much she means to me, how much I want her to taste me. I want her to taste me, lick me, suck me, fuck me, eat me anything she wants but my voice falls short and again I can only nod, this time managing to reach the achievement of one word.

"Yes."

Hearing all the permission she needs Lita's lips come crashing back down on mine and she's kissing me with more ferocity than ever before. I think what just happened really got to her because this kiss starts out a lot rougher than any of the others and it stays that way. Not that I mind one bit. I'm more than ready if she wants to turn up the heat but all too soon her lips leave mine and she's trailing kisses down my neck again.

To my frustration she spends some time worshipping my breasts, her mouth and tongue licking and sucking at my already fully erect nipples as her fingers expertly manipulate my already fully aroused bosom, ignoring the place I really want to feel those fingers, that mouth and that tongue.

After an eternity she begins to kiss her way down my tight, wash board stomach until she reaches my centre.

She finally sees my granny panties, which I had completely forgotten about, and looks up at me with a mischievous smile and a look that says 'really'.

I blushed furiously, my mind desperately searching for an excuse but before I get the chance her smile fades and her face becomes completely serious as she reaches for the waistband of my soaking panties and looks up at me, her eyes asking permission to remove them.

Seeing the reaction she wants, thank God, she slowly slides them off, with a little help from me raising my ass and lifting my legs into the air at the right points of course. She then throws the offensive garment aside like it has somehow done a great injustice to her and her eyes become locked on my naked pussy.

My heart beat faster as she lowers her head down until she is face-to-face with my centre, her eyes locked on it, an expression I can't read on her face.

Oh my God, what if she doesn't like what she sees? What if she thinks I'm ugly down there and/or this isn't what she really wants? I don't think I could bear it if she ends this now, I just wouldn't survive.

Looking down at her I'm about to plead for her not to stop, she doesn't have to do this but just please don't forsake me over this, when she looks up at me, a mixture of love and lust in her eyes, and says, "Oh my God Trish, you're so beautiful... and you smell so good..." My heart flutters as she calls me beautiful. A lot of people have called me that before but it's never meant more to me than right now as I stare into her eyes and she continues to talk, "You have no idea how long I've waited for this... or how much I'm going to enjoy this..."

She closes her eyes, allowing herself to breathe in the sent of my womanhood one more time, before she extended her tongue, and gave my pussy a long, soft lick.

Lita's POV

Trish whirl's her entire body around so fast that on instinct I remove my arms from around her waist and keep them down by mind side even though I can't help but wonder if she isn't going to say anything but rather do something like spit in my face or maybe slap me. If she is or rather if that is what she wants to do to me then I'll let her do it I won't defend myself nor will I retaliate.

Trish doesn't raise her hands nor does she looks as though she is going to spit in my face to be perfectly honest I can't tell what Trish is thinking by looking at her and staring into her eyes I can tell that she has been crying again due to the tear tracks down either side of her face are glistening in the light of her bedside table.

"Here it comes."

My brain tells me.

"She's about to put the final nail in your friendship's coffin."

I want to close my eyes and simply listen to whatever she has to say however i force myself to keep my eyes open and look at her. Face her so to speak as she puts the final nail into our friendship's coffin like my brain said. Hopefully she will do it quickly and get it over with.

However Trish doesn't say a word she simply lays where she is on her side facing me with her eyes piercing into mine. They say the eyes are the window to the soul well if they are Trish must be looking deep deep deep into mine taking into consideration how her eyes haven't broken contact with mine since she turned over.

"..........You love me..." 

Trish says finally. I swallow hard wondering weather she is asking me or weather she is confirming what I have just told her.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice a stray strand of her beautiful blonde hair dropping down from behind her ear and I slowly reach out and brush the stray strand back behind her ear I'm surprised my hand isn't shaking as I make contact with her or rather with apart of her in point of fact I'm surprised my whole body isn't physically/visually shaking because I know for a fact that I am defiantly shaking on the inside as I slowly move my hand from where I have just put the stray strand and move to the side of her face.

"With all of my heart." 

I able to feel the tears welling up inside of me and yet determined to maintain control over my emotions at least until Trish has either kicked me out or left the room then and only them will I allow myself to become an emotional wreck.

"..........Say it..." 

Trish tells me with a rather scraggly voice.

I swallow hard not sure why she wants me to say what I have already said and partly wondering if this is her way of getting revenge on me for laughing in her face that night.

If this is what she wants if she wants me to humiliate me more or rather further than i have already humiliated myself then so be it.

"I love you Trish."

I tell her taking a deep breath feeling the tears getting closer and closer to breaking through my defences.

"I've loved you from the moment I saw you and no matter what has happened between us and no matter what comes next I will always love you..." 

I quickly lower my head as I feel the tears begin to run down my cheeks a part of me feels like lifting my head and letting her see the tears I don't know why maybe it will give her some satisfaction to know that she has succeeded in humiliating further than I have already humiliated myself.

However another part of me my pride or maybe it's my ego won't allow me to give Trish that satisfaction.

"If you don't feel the same way that's fine."

I say deciding to try and get her to end this torture/humiliation/revenge whatever it is that is stopping her from saying or doing whatever she wants to and either telling me to get out of the room or having her herself leave..

"I never truly expected you too."

I add and continue on by saying.

"I just wanted to tell you..........I guess I just needed to tell you." 

Despite my ego and pride telling me to keep my head down and I force myself to look at Trish hoping that maybe by seeing me cry it will give her the satisfaction or give her whatever she is looking for and it will lead to her saying and or doing whatever she is going to and then having her either kick me out of the room or leaving me in the room.

"You were never, ever a joke to me Trish and you never will be. I love you."

I say not sure exacterly why I don't just shut up and let her say or do whatever she is going to and yet now that the emotional and as well as verbal flood gates have opened I can't seem to close them.

"And whatever you say or whatever you do..........I love you..........I'll always love you." 

After having said that i finally shut up and keep my mouth shut and simply stare at Trish waiting mentally begging her to end this mentally pleading with her to say whatever she has got to say to me. 

Call me a disgusting dyke call me a filthy lesbian tell me how your not a lesbian and how even if you where you would never sleep with me.. 

I also mentally plead and beg her to do whatever she is physically going to do to me if she isn't going to say anything to me.

I mentally tell her to slap me spit in my face hell right now I'll even take her laughing at me.

I just want this to be over.

"Prove it."

Trish then tells me.

I blink for the first time since I lifted my head and looked at her and for some reason my tears almost immediately stop while my brain tries to make sense of what she has just said or rather told me to do.

Part of me tries to make me believe that she is trying to make me degrade embaresse and humiliate myself further and yet another part of me doesn't believe that this is true.

"Why would Trish allow you to touch her if she isn't a lesbian? An even if Trish did want to embaresse humiliate and degrade you further do you really think she would allow this to happen? Why what would she have to gain from it you've already pretty much proven your feelings and that your a lesbian by kissing. If Trish allowed you to do this it would give you ammunition against her if she was to ever tell anybody about this. An another thing why wouldn't Trish simply either kick you out of the hotel room or leave the hotel room herself and then on Monday or tomorrow tell the entire locker room what happened?"

An then there is another part of me that is saying.

"Do it. Prove it to her see how far she is willing to go. See just how far she is willing to take this. Then again maybe that is what she is trying to get you to do maybe she is trying to see how far you are willing to go to prove your love for her."

It is this part of my brain/mind that I listen too and despite how nervous I am I take a deep breath swallow hard and slowly begin to edge my head closer and closer towards her's until my lips are so close to her's that if I was to breath she would instantly feel it.

"She hasn't moved or said anything yet."

One half of my brain is telling me.

"I bet she will when you go to kiss her..........Well what are you waiting for call her bluff. Kiss her."

Without thinking or rather after this side of my brain tells me to kiss her I do exacterly that I close the inch wide gap between us and press my lips against her's once again throwing all of my into this kiss intent on proving to her just how much I love her.

At first Trish doesn't respond then she does and not in the way I expected which was for her to pull away but rather she presses her lips against mine thereby returning the kiss this shocks me more than anything that has happened thus far tonight however I do my best not to let my shock get in the way of what is happening I decide to kick this kiss into a higher gear so to speak and so I increase the intensity of my kiss without adding my tongue which I know from personal experience most men can't wait to do. 

The longer the kiss continues the more I begin to relax into it while a small part of my brain is still struggling with the idea/fact that Trish is kissing me another part of my brain is simply enjoying the sensations that kissing Trish is creating inside of me her kiss is so soft like a feather touching my lips however I could tell that there was passion there which only added to the one part of my brain that was still trying to figure out why Trish is kissing me back and why she is being passionate and if this passion is real.

While my brain may not believe it is real I can't help but know that it is real I can feel it literally feel it radiating off her I'm giving her everything I have to give and much to my disbelife and delight Trish is returning it with everything she has to give me.

I finally decide to move the kiss on and so I allow my tongue to get in the action and start by tapping my tongue against her lips asking Trish for permission to enter her mouth as soon as I have done that Trish opens her mouth and take full advantage of that in more ways than one while my tongue slides into her mouth and immediately begins to seek out Trish's I re-position both myself and Trish so that she is laying on her back and I am laying on top of her. Our tongues finally meet and when they do I feel a jolt of what I can only describe as electricity run through my entire body starting from my tongue and running up to my brain and then going down to the toes I'm sure Trish must have felt the same because as soon as our tongues first touched she immediately increases the intensity of the kiss with a force that surprises me having never ever experienced this level of passion for Matt Edge or anybody male or female before. 

I reluctantly break the kiss due to the fact that I need air it is at this point that Trish seems to finally realise our change in positions and a small part of me fears that this is when Trish is either going to freak or she is going to laugh in my face despite this fear or rather these fears I do my best to smile at her in an attempt to try and relax her.

Trish simply stares at me not moving a muscle not doing anything but looking at me.

I decide to be daring and so I lean back down and kiss her again harder this time wanting her to know this time without a shadow of a doubt that I really do mean what I said and that I really do love her over a short period of time I feel mine and Trish's kiss become more wild and as it does I feel Trish's hands moving up and down my back I causing me to moan in pleasure having always wanted Trish to touch me in this way and now that she is the fact that she is combined with the feel of her touch on my skin is almost too much for me to bare. If I was to die right here and now I would die the happiest woman in the world.




The Way It Should Have Been



I was saddened, as were his legion of fans around the world, to hear of the death of Dick Francis in February, 2010. As the UK Guardian obituary put it, "he showed a mastery of lean, witty genre prose." From the time my wife introduced me to his work almost forty years ago, I made it a point to acquire every one of his books. I prize my autographed first American editions. I admire his works, and in Ben Jonson's words, "do honor his memory on this side idolatry as much as any."

But I was deeply disappointed by the ending of his novel Come to Grief. He had written a magnificent erotic scene between Sid Halley, his injured hero, and India Cathcart, the journalist who tried to destroy him but came to love him.

Of course Francis did in three sentences what most writers would need several paragraphs. "The touch of her fingers on the skin of my forearm had been a caress more intimate than any act of sex. I felt shaky. I felt more moved than ever in my life." She had just put his artificial left hand back on what was left of his forearm.

But then she leaves. And Francis marries Halley to one Marina van der Meer in his later novel Under Orders. As far as I am concerned, India has more in her little finger than Marina has in her vagina.

However, read the novels. They are, flaws and all, well worth your time.

Over the years, though, my dissatisfaction remained. I thought out, again and again, how I wanted the novel to end. Of course, my proposed ending was destined for the desk drawer, if not the wastebasket, with an abrupt "impertinent clown!" as its epitaph. 

But then came Literotica, and Celebrities fan fiction. So here is my version of what should have happened, with deepest homage to one of the best writers I ever read. Halley is in hospital recovering from a gunshot wound. India visits him there. 

*

The ward sister said I'd be released next day or the day after. The tubes were disconnected, the electrodes and monitors removed. The endless "beep beep beep" was silenced at last. Several batches of medical students were walked through my room to peer at me. Their professor lectured them about my speedy recovery. If they were impressed, they didn't show it.

Finally, the next morning, the catheter was removed from my penis. I'd had no sensation there for days, shock being followed by the discomfort of having my sphincter held open to drain my urine into a bottle next the bed. I expect my prostate had shut down, but my testicles were jogging right along, as I thought about India Cathcart and the kiss we had shared.

It was ten days after Ellis Quint had died and seven since that kiss. India hadn't come, might never come.

I had nearly destroyed one beautiful, fragile girl, my loved and lost Jennie. Was India gone, too?

Don't give in, I told myself, never give in. 

Rachel Ferns would live, they told me, the little leukemia girl in her bubble. I wanted to cry for joy, but I waited until night when no one could see the tears. Don't ever let it touch you, not love, not fear, not pain, not pity, not even joy. So neither foes nor loving friends could hurt you, I thought, echoing Kipling. I cried even more. I was dead, even though the bullet didn't kill me, I was dead before it ever came.

Now this morning the television was off. I was allowed to get out of bed and walk a short distance alone, unaided. I experienced for the first time in what felt like weeks the joy of pissing under my own will, having my penis, bladder, sphincter and prostate back. It really distances other pleasures. I lingered over the first free piss I'd taken since being shot, gave my penis a good hard shake, carefully washed my hands (I had the prosthesis on and used it to rub the other hand) and returned to bed.

I was too elated to sleep, when I heard the click of boot heels walking into my room. I looked up and smiled. India had come back.

Her clear fine white skin was fresh from the rain. Her light blue eyes sparkled from the brisk walk she had taken. Black Burberry raincoat and scarlet rain hat showed plenty of raindrops as she took them off and hung them behind the door, which she shut. Her long black shining hair fell straight down.

"Hello," I said. 

"Hello, Sid."

"Come for tea, have we?"

"Yes, and to go on."

"Go on with what?"

"With what we left off."

She was wearing a black high-neck sweater, which set off the white skin of her throat and face. She removed it; she had no clothing underneath.

Her breasts were firm, taut, her nipples dawn-pink, slightly distended. Her abdomen was firm, the muscles gently defined without being a body-builder's project.

"Clearly the tea will have to wait."

"Yes," she said, "will the staff here leave us undisturbed?"

"Quite likely. I'm to be discharged tomorrow."

"Good, I'm glad. Are you going to your home, to the Admiral's, or would you like to come live with me?"

"I'll have to think about that last one."

"Don't strain your brain."

She reached for my left hand and shut off the battery. I remembered Ellis Quint doing that and shut my eyes.

"No, my love, my dearest, it's all right," she said, and leaned over to kiss me. Her tongue licked my lips, I opened them, and our tongues touched. She broke the kiss and stood up.

She carefully removed the prosthesis, kissed it, and carefully placed it on the dressing table. She unbuttoned at the back the knee-length skirt she was wearing, undid the zipper, and let the skirt fall. She had no clothing on but her black leather boots.

"Rest, darling, just rest," she said. Her mons was covered with neatly-trimmed black hairs. A slight glint of light showed in the pubic hair below her vagina, glinting off the liquid of the natural lubrication of a woman.

She kissed the stump of my left arm. She said, "Hush, dear Sid, hush."

She took the stump of my left arm in her right hand, kissed it again with her mouth open, and turned around. I admired her firm, curved buttocks as she moved the stump against them. Then she moved her left hand behind her, spread her buttocks, and took the tip of my stump against her anus. She touched herself there with me, moved toward me, rubbed the stump against her vagina so I could feel the wetness, and took my now-lubricated stump and tried to insert it into her anal passage. 

"Ssshhh, darling, ssshhh," like a mother quieting her child. She whispered softly, in a little singsong voice, "quiet darling baby, hush baby."

She rubbed and touched herself with my left arm, until I could feel her moving her hips to stimulate herself further.

Then she turned around, still holding my left arm, and placed the stump against her vulva. She murmured and breathed gently, her eyes closed, moving the stump where my wrist had been against her soft, warm, wet lips. She managed to open her labia enough to get some of me in her, and rubbed my arm against her clitoris. She moaned and twitched , and finally convulsed, her breath hissing through her teeth and her body shaking with the orgasm.

"Now you," she said, and slipped back the sheets. Her eyes were bright, her mouth open. I was wearing the dreadful hospital gown that opens at the back. She untied the bow at my middle and folded the gown to one side.

It was the first erection I'd had in a week, and the hardness and pressure were joys to be savored. Whole again, a person again, a man again.

India climbed onto the bed, boots and all, straddled me with her long legs, and took my penis in her mouth. The warmth and softness enveloped me, as she gently moved her lips and tongue over me. My penis hardened even more. She stopped and kissed my penis and took each testicle in her mouth. Then she returned to my penis, nibbled the tip, and back through the head, with little gentle bites, down to the shaft behind it and back again. I thought I would ejaculate right there, but India stopped.

"No," she said. "Not there; in my pussy, I want it in my pussy," and impaled herself on me in one motion.

I gasped and let out an inarticulate cry. India moaned loudly, and proceeded to ride me as I had ridden at Aintree, firmly, joyously, winning the race we both wanted to win. Our voices rose, and then I felt the surge, as India's muscles clenched, her liquids shot from her over my straining penis, and my semen erupted. "Oh God oh God oh God!" she screamed, "give me your baby, I want your baby!" as I cried out in loud quick bursts. Our orgasm was explosive.

The door flew open and two nurses came bursting in.

"What do you think you're doing, Mr. Halley?"

I wanted to answer "What does it look like we're doing?" but remained silent.

India climbed off me and lay down beside me, curling up close to me in the narrow bed.

"Stop that at once!"

"I was just leaving," said India, but I held her.

"Ms. Cathcart is staying the night," I said. We kissed. It was more than a promise, it was a pledge.