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The Seduction of Ada

By: JakeRivers



This story is in two parts. 

Thanks very much, as always, to Techsan for his quick and accurate editing! And thanks to Lady Cibelle for her special assistance! 

Thanks for reading, please vote.

SAD GOODBYES

"Death, that dark spirit." 

Shakespeare Coriolanus II,I,166

The rain was misty; a cold dampness that seeped into the bones – a cold enervating of both body and spirit. The gray light that seeped through the early morning overcast lay as a pall on my heart, dark already with a black despair.

A movement captured in a quick glance caught the pallbearers sliding the coffin out of the hearse. The image triggered a traitorous idle thought: what a strange word pallbearer was. A pall is a heavy cloth of black, purple or white velvet spread over a coffin, a hearse, or a tomb. Hence a pallbearer is a person carrying that pall-clad hearse. And the carriers are called pallbearers even in the absence of a pall. 

Telling myself to get a grip I tried to focus on the seemingly mechanized rite taking place around me. What was in that box was not my Missy, my wife for over thirty years. Missy was free and light and beautiful... her hair was long and the color of faded straw. Her eyes were a dark, deep blue but when a strong emotion ruled her they turned a mysterious shade of purple, the color of her beloved Columbine flowers of the mountain meadows. And she was dead! Breast cancer in the end had dominated that wild spirit I had always felt was indomitable. It was a sad end to a life lived well.

I married Missy early. She was barely seventeen and I was just back from the war in the Pacific and feeling old at twenty-one. At that time in the valley along the Rogue River in Oregon marrying at that age was usual and expected for a girl. We were from neighboring ranches northeast of Medford, around Butte Falls. Everyone, especially Missy and I, knew we would marry. I'd sent a telegram from the out processing center at Camp Stoneman, about forty miles east of San Francisco in Pittsburg. 

The day after I got back Missy and I were married at the small, one room school at the crossroads. I had mustering out pay so we went to Portland for our honeymoon. It was the first time my bride had been out of Jackson County. We were both only children so we wound up combining the ranches and running them as one. 

It was a good life but there were too many sad times. We had two kids, Crystal and Bobbie, both active and healthy and both smart as a whip. 

Crystal married when she was twenty and a year later had twin girls. Six months after they were born, the brakes on her truck failed going down a steep grade and she and the twins went over a cliff. We were devastated; she was such a bright sunny girl and the twins had grabbed our hearts with an iron grip!

Bobbie had gone to West Point – I guess I should have said I got the medal on Guadalcanal. That beautiful medal, the star with the wreath hanging from the blue ribbon; that Medal of Honor made Bobbie a member of that long gray line. But earning that piece of metal and ribbon left a dark smudge in my soul that never totally went away. 

Bobbie was lost to a mortar during the siege of Khe Sanh. We buried him on the little cemetery on the hill behind the house but I knew what a mortar could do and wasn't really sure if there was anything of Bobbie in that box we were putting in the ground.

Our hearts weren't in the ranch anymore so we left it to the folks and moved to Hood River. It was a small town on the Columbia River, about fifty miles east of Portland. Our life was focused on each other then and it was a beautiful life. Losing the kids had bought us closer and our love grew deeper over the years. 

A few years ago my old company commander had asked me to consult on a script for a movie on the island campaigns in the Pacific. He was hired as a technical consultant. It turned into a popular movie and then a publishing company asked me to write a non-fiction book of my experiences. That was successful enough I started writing war novels. I enjoyed doing the research and the writing proved to be a catharsis for some of the crap I had been holding on to without even realizing it. I wasn't making a lot of money but it was steady and it was enough.

I used my real name for my stories, Dave Chance. I wanted any of my buddies that might read one of my books to know who it was that wrote it. I even put a note on my short bio for readers to send a letter to the publisher if they remembered me. It was pretty neat, I'd re-established connections with a lot of the guys and they sent me their stories, some of which I used (with attribution).

And then came the cancer; death slowly creeping under the door. It was strange; I was hit a lot harder than Missy was. I think she had this sense of being with our kids again. She seemed more worried about me than about herself. We'd talked about radical surgery but Missy wouldn't agree to it. I understood how she felt so I didn't push her. I guess I knew she had never really recovered from burying both of the kids, though she hid it well. Truth be told I think she wanted to be with the kids again and wait for me to join them.

As she became able to do less and less it was clear that we needed some help; someone to help take care of her and to keep up with the house. Missy had come to be very good friends with our neighbor, Pearl. She was a kindly older woman who had outlived her husband and was lonely. Missy was so kind that she visited with her a lot over the years. 

When Missy told her that she wanted to find someone, Pearl had the answer. Her granddaughter in Bend was pregnant. She was four months along now and needed a place to stay until the child was born. Missy asked the circumstances but all Pearl would say was the father was dead and they weren't married. 

I was skeptical but Missy was adamant to give the girl, Ada Chandler, a chance. So we did. I have to admit it worked out really well. She was like a pixie, barely five foot tall. She was slender with very short hair. I'd guess she would be around 95 pounds... if I threw her in the Columbia and let her soak for a while. 

She was just showing the baby and was due about the same time Missy's doctor expected her to die. I gave Ada credit; she was a fireball! She kept the house spotless, took care of Missy and was a great cook. She was easy to get along with. She was very friendly to everyone but she had this aura of childlike innocence that was both endearing and worrisome. I suspected that was how she became pregnant but that was one thing she wouldn't talk about. Sometimes she did seem a little nervous when we were alone together. 

Once, she had fixed spaghetti for dinner and without thinking I poured us both a glass of a nice Chianti I had. She came in from the kitchen and saw the glass of wine and just froze. After a minute she ran to her room and was very standoffish for a couple of days. At first I felt stupid for offering wine to a pregnant woman but finally decided it was something more complex than that.

As Missy got worse she finally had to agree to some painkillers – she fought taking them for the longest time. She didn't like the idea of taking drugs. So as time went on she would sleep more and more and I got to know Ada a lot better. Remember, as a writer I was working at home!

She was fun to talk to and was intensely interested in my writing. I was amazed – she read all my books in a couple months. By then she was around seven months but she had the most amazing body. I swear she didn't gain an ounce except for the baby and its complex support system. She was like a short pixie that had swallowed a bowling ball! She laughed at herself so we laughed with her. 

A couple of weeks later, Missy had me sit on the bed for the talk.

"Honey, I'm worried about Ada. I've grown to love her and I want to make sure she is okay. Will you promise me to let her stay here for a while, at least until the baby is a year old or so and Ada gets on her feet. I know this is an imposition but could you do this for me?"

I leaned over and held her, partly so she couldn't see my tears. "Babe, you know you have had me wrapped around your finger since you were four years old. Why would it change now?"

"I know, Davey. It's important to me so I want to make sure there is no confusion. I know how messy it gets when someone dies! I want you to bring her up later today and let's talk about it together. Okay, hon?"

I just nodded; there seemed to be something wrong with my throat.

Teasing then, she continued, "Besides, honey, I've seen how she looks at you – I think she has a crush on my man!"

I had the grace to blush as she continued.

"I'm actually serious, Dave! I worry about what's going to happen to you after I'm gone. I don't know if she is the one but you aren't the kind of guy to live by himself. You need a woman! Besides, since we had to stop with our lovin' you must be going nuts!"

I didn't want to answer that so I got a washcloth and slowly wiped her face off, then massaged her hands gently until she fell asleep. As I left her room I passed the guest bathroom and Ada hadn't completely closed the door. She had just stepped out of the shower and was reaching for a towel. We made eye contact... she blushed furiously and grabbed the towel. 

I went to my office and poured a large Jack Daniels. She definitely avoided me for a few days after that. It was harder that I expected to get rid of the image of her body glowing with health and the baby looking so large. Maybe it was just me but I have always found pregnant women very erotic.

Two weeks later Missy passed away in her sleep, joined again with her kids she had missed so much. I was left with my memories: the wonderful, the bad and the dark. I was also left with Ada and 95% of a baby!

MY INDISCRETION

"Experience is not always the kindest of teachers but it is surely the best."

Spanish Proverb

My daddy, Hal Chandler, told me to never mix men and booze. I guess I didn't listen to him or I didn't understand and that's how I became pregnant. I'm Ada – I don't know how I got that name since no one else in the family had it.

I didn't think I was particularly smart but I got real good grades in high school in Bend. When I finished my momma kept hammering at me to get an education so I started going to the Central Oregon Community College. I'd always been a tomboy and hated being inside so the only thing that sounded good was the Forestry program. I liked it a lot and it seemed like a good career.

About two months before graduation we went on a field trip to look at a replanted burn. There were three cars of us and we tramped around for a couple of hours while the professor talked about the forest fire and its impact on the forest. A lot of the old growth had survived but there were big patches that had to be replanted. 

One of the cars had to go back early - a couple of the students had a test to take in another class. We got ready to go and somehow I wound up alone in the truck with the professor. I didn't think anything about it; he was just a guy.

We started down the logging road in his F-250 4x4 and he started telling me about this lake.

"Ada, this is the most beautiful lake you will ever see. It's small but it has more wildlife around it than anything else I've seen. It's not very big but it's surprisingly deep. I need to take a couple of pictures for my class next fall. Is it okay if we stop by?"

I was in no hurry and it sounded interesting. "Sure, I guess we can do that."

So he turned down another fire road and drove for about twenty minutes. When he pulled into the small parking lot I was stunned. This was the most breathtakingly beautiful place I'd ever seen! It was a small lake and surrounded by a large stand of old growth fir. The lake was about two or three acres and the trees made a horseshoe around it, with the open end to the west. 

We got out and walked around, the professor taking pictures. After a bit we sat down on the picnic table there.

"Ada, I need to take a few more pictures at sunset. You won't believe how the lake looks then!"

I was in no hurry so I just nodded. 

After a bit he pulled out a flask and took a snort. Since my dad did this all the time I didn't think anything about it. He handed it to me but I didn't really want any. 

"Ada, this is really good. This is the real stuff – a guy up in the mountains has his own still. Try a little."

So I did. He was right; it was good stuff. It didn't mean anything to me; I was used to sipping from my dad's flask when he wasn't lookin'. 

So we passed the flask back and forth. What I didn't see was that he wasn't drinking much... and I was!

'Bout thirty minutes later we got up to take the pictures. I staggered a little but he put his arm around me and held me steady. As he got his camera out of the car he handed me the flask for a sip... but I didn't notice it was a full one. He would take a couple of pictures, then put his arm around me and hand me the flask again. My face was a little stiff but I was feeling pretty good. 

By the time he finished with the camera I was kinda staggering around. I saw he was leaning over the side of the truck but I couldn't see what it was. By this time I was getting a little woozy. 

The professor took my arm, saying, "Ada, you don't look so good. Come lie down for a minute."

He led me over to the truck and picked me up like a kid and put me in the back of his truck. I was lying on something soft; I later realized it was a sleeping bag. 

He jumped in the back of the truck and sat down beside me, looking at me kinda funny. 

"Ada, honey, you don't look so good. Here, try this; you'll feel a lot better!"

He put his arm around me and brought out his flask. Holding it up to my lips he poured it down my throat until I sputtered a little. I could feel the raw spirit dribbling down my chin but I didn't understand why. He tilted the bottle up again and poured until I choked. He put his hand on my face but I couldn't feel his fingers as they wiped the whisky away. 

~~~~~~

"Seduction is often difficult to distinguish from rape. In seduction, the rapist often bothers to buy a bottle of wine."

Andrea Dworkin

~~~~~~

He just kept moving his hand over my face, caressing it, I guess. I felt a cool breeze on my front so I looked down. My white blouse was undone and his hand was holding my breast. He wasn't moving it around or anything and it felt sorta pleasant, like when I would stand under the shower and let the hot water run over them while I soaped them up. 

Gradually it came to me that my teacher was doing something wrong, very wrong! I tried to jump up but felt really dizzy and collapsed back down. I must have passed out for a bit 'cause all at once I felt the truck bed moving and tried to get up again. I couldn't because he was on top of me. I felt squashed – he was a big man – and I tried to push him. It felt like I didn't have any strength... he couldn't even feel me pushing.

Now I could feel a sharp pain down below and I started panicking! I tried to scream but my throat felt dry. My mind was coming more awake and I knew then what he was doing to me. I couldn't get him off and I started crying... the drops running down the side of my face and down my neck. Suddenly he grabbed my face and stuck his tongue in and started moving faster. He leaned his head back, his face twisted into a passion I couldn't understand; the muscles on his neck corded like a heavy rope. 

He collapsed on me so that I was having trouble breathing. I was crying somethin' terrible then and it finally got through to him. He must've thought I was having fun. He stood up and started pulling his pants up. We both looked down at the same time and saw the blood between my legs! My stomach rebelled and I started retching violently. It felt like the whisky was on fire as it came back up my throat and the vomit spewing all over me, the sleeping bag and his legs. The smell was terrible and added to my nausea. 

I finally was able to get out of the truck and stumble over to the lake. I cleaned myself up as best I could but I felt unclean inside in a way that felt like it would last forever. My dreams, my childish, girlish dreams, my dreams were ashes scattered over the detritus that was the remains of my life!

Getting back to his truck he was staring at me in the fading light, a nervous tic in his eye. God knows what he was thinking about.

He suddenly yelled at me, "God damn, girl, why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?"

I was recovering; maybe I drank the whisky so fast that when I got sick that not too much was in my blood. I gave him a dirty look and opened the truck and got in, looking out the window. He got in and started up. I refused to look at him the whole trip home. 

About the time we got off the logging roads and onto the highway he started mumbling, finally sputtering, "Ada, it will be better next time. When do you want to get together?"

I slowly turned to him, somewhat amazed at his stupid audacity and gave him a dark, dark look with hooded eyes and turned back to the windows. I thought of the poem I had read last year in American Lit. by W. H. Auden:

"I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn,
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return."

This somehow comforted me and I started thinking on what to do. Maybe making him pay would be a small start to healing.

I suffered on the way back, still feeling vomitous, a queasiness of both body and soul. I tried not to cry – I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. Periodically though, I would start whimpering followed by a savage shivering. 

When we got home there was no one there, which is what I expected. My dad was off fishing with a buddy for a couple of days and my mom was doing something at the church, some kind of a potluck dinner. 

I had decided on the way home what I was going to do and I was going to make it happen. Not many people realized it but I could be stubborn as hell. I clamped down on my feelings and felt an icy strength coursing though my veins. I called Anne Dean, a neighbor a couple of blocks away that had been one of my teachers in grade school. She was the only one that I could think of that could give me what I wanted, what I needed.

I walked down to her house without cleaning up any more or changing clothes. When I walked in, she looking at me and started crying; I cried along with her. I didn't start telling her what had happened, because we were waiting for Robert Conrad, the school president. I didn't think I could go through it twice. I'd asked Anne to call him.

He was a local guy and started out in the Oregon State Police, kept going to school and received several advanced degrees in criminology. He started teaching and eventually started the criminology program at Central Oregon Community College. He still taught some courses and knew everyone enforcement. 

When he arrived we sat down in the kitchen and went through all that had happened as best I understood it. There were parts that were hazy. I wasn't crying then but that would come later. 

I told them what I did and didn't want, "I don't want the police involved. I'd die if this became general knowledge. I don't want to talk about it in a courtroom. I just want to get on with my life and I want to take the three things away from him that are the most important in his life. 

Robert called him and told him to come over to Anne's immediately. Bend isn't a huge town so he would be there in ten minutes. He didn't want to come but Robert said in a steely voice, "Be here in ten minutes or I'll have the police pick you up. What do you want to do?"

Anne gave him a couple of minutes and then she called his wife and asked her to come over. She told her to quietly walk to the back porch and just listen until Anne called her in. Anne opened the kitchen windows wide so she would be able to hear. 


The Seduction of Ada Ch. 02



This is the second part of this story. Part three will be the final chapter. If you haven't read Chapter One, please read it first.

Thanks very much, as always, to Techsan for his quick and accurate editing! Thanks also to Lady Cibelle for her kind comments and assistance.

Thanks for reading, please vote.

*

AND BABY MAKES THREE

"Who takes the child by the hand takes the mother by the heart." 
Danish Proverb

When I met with Missy and her husband, Dave, I had mixed feelings. I loved Missy immediately; she was a wonderful woman. What was happening to her was so sad... my heart went out to her, especially when I found out how she had lost both of her kids.

I felt uncomfortable with the thought that I would be living in a house so close to a man. He seemed nice but it was still too close in time to what had happened out at the lake – and the shock of finding myself pregnant. 

I didn't want to keep living in Bend. Everyone would see me pregnant and they would start asking questions that I didn't want to answer. When Grandma Pearl called my mom I was at first excited about the idea. I figured I would just stay with granny. Mom explained that her house was just too small, particularly after the baby was born.

I felt better when mom told me they would pay me fifty dollars a week, room and board and in addition they would buy me whatever clothes I needed. Also, if I kept the baby, they would buy whatever I needed for her (there was no question in my mind that it would be a girl). So I agreed to go up and meet them.

One of the things that made up my mind was that on the bus up I decided that I was going to keep my baby no matter what! So them buying me baby clothes and a crib and all the other stuff I would need was important. Also I shouldn't need to spend any money so I would be able to save most of it for a fresh start later.

It turned out to be not too bad with Mr. Chance (he kept telling me to call him David or Dave but I felt uncomfortable with that). He was always nice and polite – I knew the problem was with me. One bad time was when he poured me some wine at dinner one night. I had not had any alcohol to drink since that awful day by the lake. I guess I panicked. I ran from the table and couldn't face him for a few days.

I was fascinated with him being a writer. I'd never met anyone that could just make books out of their head. I started reading some of his books thinking it would be boring to read about war. I was really surprised when I found out they were fascinating. It was sad to read the stories of boys' lives being cut short... leaving some poor woman alone at home. I felt myself in kinship with them – when they cried, I cried. 

Mr. Chance had a way of making planes and tanks and things interesting. What he really wrote about though were the stories and emotions, the relationships of the men with each other and their loved ones. One book, "Famous Battles" or some such really hit my heart. One of the chapters was the siege of Khe Sanh and Missy told me with tears in her eyes that he wrote the whole book just so he could have that chapter. She said it was really about their son, Bobbie. Mr. Chance had talked to a number of men that had served with him so it was really true stuff.

Missy was so wonderful to talk to – I was able to talk with her about things I couldn't talk to my mom about. I wound up telling her all about how I'd got pregnant. Here she was dying but I was the one crying and she was comforting me. She promised not to tell her husband... I'd die if he knew how dumb I had been.

When she started taking the drugs for the pain and sleeping so much I started getting more nervous being around Mr. Chance. When Missy had still been able to get around it wasn't so bad; she was around most of the time her husband was. The worst was when I thought I had closed the bathroom door but I guess it didn't latch. I was stepping out of the tub, slow and clumsy with my big belly, just as he walked by. I was so embarrassed! I avoided him for a couple of days.

'Bout the time Missy first started taking her pain medicine, I had a talk with both of them in her room. She said that they wanted me to stay on after she was gone – she talked like that, about her dying, the same as she would about going to the store. I would get the same money but instead of taking care of her I would take care of my baby. Mr. Chance said that when I was ready he would help me find a job.

I felt uneasy and I guess Missy could see it. Later she talked to me.

"Ada, I know how much you were hurt by that man. And it's okay to have a healthy suspicion of men in general. I love you like you were my daughter. Davey is a nice man and you can trust him. I know you feel uncomfortable about living alone with him. I think this has been a good environment for you to make a new start. And Davey needs someone to take care of him. He'll deny it if you ask him but he is a terrible cook. Oh, he's okay around the grill but he can't, or won't plan healthy menus."

I promised her I'd give it a try. She laughed when I told her about the bathroom accident.

I was really starting to like Hood River. It was a small town but the setting was majestic. The city was jammed between the bulk of Mt Hood and the Columbia River. One day soon after I got there Mr. Chance took us for a drive to the lodge at Mt. Hood. It was a beautiful old building. The whole area was very scenic and green, much more so than the land around Bend. 

My mom and dad came up a couple of times to visit. Mr. Chance let them sleep in the extra bedroom in the basement. Dad got on real well with him. They talked a lot about the war (Dad told me later that he couldn't talk about the war to anyone that hadn't been there). Dad had been in North Africa and Italy. He was real pleased when Mr. Chance gave him an autographed copy of his latest book. 

One night Missy died quietly in her sleep – she refused to die in a hospital. I was really sad and cried a lot. She was like the big sister I never had. I was too close to delivery to make the trip down for her funeral – truth be told I didn't want to see her put in the cold ground. I wanted to keep my memories of her as she was.

I stayed with my grandma while they were gone and got to thinking more and more about living alone with Mr. Chance. When I finally went back after he was home from burying Missy, I was going to tell him that I was going back to Bend. I didn't really want to do this but I didn't know what else to do. But when I got there and he had given me the master bedroom for my baby and me - and Mr. Chance had already moved things around I couldn't tell him no. I felt much more comfortable not living on the same floor. Besides the baby was so close, I knew I couldn't do anything else. 

I consider myself to be fairly strong-willed. All through my pregnancy I had pretty much ignored the part about actually giving birth. When my water broke and the doctor came in to talk to me, I started getting scared. She went on-and-on about how small I was, how she expected it to be a difficult delivery and we might have to do a caesarean delivery, or a C-section as she called it. When she went through in detail what that was I started to panic. I had no one to be with me!

When Mr. Chance came in to check on me, I was desperate... I just couldn't face this alone. I was embarrassed to ask him but I was afraid not to – but he agreed to be with me, to help me out. And he really helped me. He talked about being there with Missy for their two kids. He was so calm and relaxed. For the first time I saw what a strong, kind man he was.

I thought I'd be terrified for him to see me, to see the baby come out. It turned out so natural I was fine with it. I started to realize what a fine marriage he and Missy had. The nurse handed the baby to him, thinking he was the daddy... I grinned a little at that. Then I saw the way he held and looked at my little girl (of course it was a girl – I had no doubts) my heart melted. It was funny in a way – I was jealous of my little baby! No one had ever looked at me with that kind of love.

When little Silvia started nursing I felt a sudden sense of calm, of peace. For the first time, I felt like I might be healing, not my body but my heart and soul. When I picked her up to change breasts I looked at her for a minute. Even with the milk drooling out of the corner of her mouth she was such a perfect angel. The thought came to my mind that this was how God balanced the scales: the horror of what the professor had done and the miracle of this beautiful Silvia in my arms.

When we were back at the house, David (after what we had gone through together, I couldn't call him Mr. Chance any more – Dave seemed too close and Davey was Missy's pet name for him) kept surprising me. I thought he would be awkward around the baby. Fairly soon after we were back at his house I asked him to bring me a clean diaper. Instead he just picked Silvia up and came back with the diaper changed – and better done that I could as yet.

The first time he walked into the living room while I was nursing the baby he neither looked at me nor looked away. It's like what I was doing was something you did with babies and it was natural. I became more and more comfortable around him. Watching him with Silvia I could see that he loved her as much as I did and as much as any father could. Maybe she was filling the empty place in his heart where Missy had been... I don't know but I was touched by his tenderness with her. 

Every time he went out he came back with a new outfit for her. I finally had to put my foot down and remind him about how fast babies grow. He would also bring back books and toys for two and three year olds. It was kind of sweet though.

I was getting confused in my feelings for him. I didn't fear being alone with him anymore. Actually it was quite the opposite, I felt very comfortable with him. I knew I could trust him with my baby and decided I could just trust him. After that I was more relaxed around him.

I'd heard a lot about post partum depression at the hospital but honestly, this was the happiest time of my life. I had been so hurt when I had to give up my dream of a loving husband and children. I still didn't have much hope for the loving husband part... I knew I was damaged goods! But Silvia was everything I could have wanted in a child. She was so beautiful and had such a sweet disposition. She seemed to cry only when she really needed attention and slept well at night. I'd been around enough babies to know how blessed I was.

I felt more and more at ease with David. Was there more than that?

FLAVORS OF LOVE

"If the heart of a man is deprest with cares,
The mist is dispell'd when a woman appears;
Like the notes of a fiddle, she sweetly, sweetly
Raises the spirits and charms our ears.
- John Gay

Life was an emotional roller coaster for me now. Late at night I find my eyes wet with tears for my lost love, my lifetime partner with whom I had shared so much! 

Then in the early morning bright, the birds at the window singing a melody so pure... I would change the diaper laden with the fruits of growth. A task odiferous but filled with love. Silvia was filling my heart with a love so innocent. When the idle, unasked for, thought of Silvia not being there... when that thought would come my hands would tremble; my heart would flutter. 

I was scared, afraid and amazed with the quickness and depth with which this tiny pink bundle had grabbed my heart. I would sooner contemplate no future than a future without this angel Silvia. I could sense my Misty laughing gently at the paradox of my feeling fatherly so late in life. Were that she were here with me to share this miracle of life!

Then in the quiet of the afternoon as the sun faded behind the tall trees, the light dappling with a tease through the window panes... in this quiet time I would watch the nursing mother, using her beauty to build a new life. Or watch quietly as Ada napped on the sofa, as she was wont in the late afternoon. This was a most confused time. What did I feel? What did I want to feel?

I was reminded of that line from the poem "Love (3)" by Richard Crenshaw: "Love bade me welcome: yet my soul drew back." This girl I was so attracted to, this girl half my age, this young girl starting in life needed more than a relic burdened with memories of a time ere she was born. Losing part of my basic decency in the horror of Guadalcanal. Scarred by the loss of my kids so innocent in life and undeserving of the fate given them. Burdened with a heart filled with the deepest love of an abiding memory.

The cruelest memory of all was my son Bobbie. One of the "rewards" of winning the Congressional Medal of Honor was that any of your children could attend the military academy of their choice. Even though I had been a marine, Bobbie decided on West Point. He always loved the image of "the long gray line," the history of graduates and cadets of West Point flowing through time.

I did what I did in the war, not out of any sense of heroism but simply because I was there and I could do the job. No one likes to use that phrase anymore but for me it was my duty. Did a fickle deity decide to take my son as trade for the ones I'd killed? It was a bitter thought and not a thought that this innocent lass needed to be burdened with. Yes, I knew she had to do something wrong to get pregnant but I had to believe she was innocent before God.

It was funny in a way; when our kids were little, I did what I had to do but I remember groaning a number of times at having to get up in the middle of the night. Or being relaxed with a good book and a better beer and hearing that siren's song: "Honey?" There was always an ominous threat behind the sweetly said words. Now, though, I could smell a dirty diaper two floors away. I was a master at burping and incomparable at getting Silvia to sleep at night.

The first thing I wrote after Missy died was a short love story from a father to his newborn daughter. I knew, of course, I wasn't really the father even though at times I felt as if I were. I had been editing it in the kitchen over a cup of coffee. I got a phone call and forgot about the story. I went back to the kitchen for a refill on the coffee and Ada was reading the story with tears coursing from her eyes. She looked up at me with a look... of tenderness but with something else... something smoky and mysterious. I fled from the kitchen remembering some forgotten chore.

Ada was getting back to normal and was looking a little stir crazy. I knew it would be good for her to get out. I also thought it would be good for her to earn a little money; I knew this would be important to her sense of self-worth.

A long-time friend of mine, Gene Saltworth, was the head guy at Bonneville Dam. They needed someone to do tours of the dam on weekends and I thought Ada would enjoy doing that. Later, as Silvia got older, she could try to find something in Forestry.

One day, I asked her, "Ada, how would you like to do something to get out of the house more often?"

"What do you mean? Silvia is too young to get along without me."

I smiled at that. "Honey, I think it's the other way around. If you don't get out of the house, you will go nuts! Listen, they need someone to do tours at the Dam on weekends – it's just from twelve to five each Saturday and Sunday. They have had a hard time finding someone because it's only weekends and it doesn't pay much. What do you think?"

"Gosh, it sounds like fun. What would I do with Silvia?"

"I'm sure between Pearl and myself we can work something out."

So we did that. She would be one of two girls on the weekend. There was just one person on weekdays. In the summer they would add a couple more people. 

We talked to Pearl and she would come over and spend the weekend afternoons in my house. That way we could help each other. I was starting to write again – it was still a war novel but more of a romance. It took place in Hawaii and ended with Pearl Harbor. So we worked together and had no problem with Silvia. I think Ada was a little jealous of how easy we had it. I think she wanted to believe that no one but her could take care of her baby. I guess all first time moms feel somewhat like that.

The job was great for Ada; she really blossomed. They had to wear a uniform so clothes were no problem for her. Spending some time away from the baby was also good – the baby had become her life.

One night when we were eating dinner she looked up at me and asked, "Do you like me, David?"

Wow! Where did that come from?

"Of course, Ada, you know I do. Was there something in particular you wanted to know?"

"Oh, I was just wondering."

At that she changed the subject.

A couple days later I took the baby to burp her after her mom fed her. Usually Ada is very discreet with her breasts while nursing but this time it looked like she forgot to cover up. One of her breasts was still uncovered; I couldn't help but look at it. She had small firm breasts and now the nipple was swollen from the nursing with a few drops of her milk leaking out. To my shame I couldn't help but stare at her. She saw where I was looking and blushed prettily as she pulled her blouse together.

It was spring now and we started going for walks with the baby. The third or fourth time out I was pushing the carriage when she put her arm in mine. She always did it from then on. I noticed that she was also holding my hand whenever we would go out shopping. I wasn't about to complain so I never said anything. Once I took her to a movie while Pearl took care of Silvia. It was what they call a chick flick, all mushy romance and tears. It wasn't my choice!

At the first sign of on-screen romance she took my hand and held it for the rest of the movie. For a while during the worst part of the movie (my perspective) she took my big hand in both of her tiny hands and held it on her lap. I lost track of the plot after that!

It went like this for a couple of months. She would come two steps towards me and then back off a bit. I saw her in the back yard once watching a fawn. The baby deer would nuzzle up to her and jump back at some imagined fright. It went on like that for the longest time. Ada was like that with me. I wasn't doing anything to encourage her – she needed someone her own age. I didn't push her away either – I couldn't hurt her if that's what it would do.

I guess I must have been in love with her already. I tried not to let her see it but I don't think I ever fooled her.

One evening in May, Silvia was about five months old by then, Ada finished with her evening ablutions, shower and such, came down with her pajamas on. She usually wore a robe over them but it was a warm evening. I was sitting in my big easy chair reading and she just plopped down on my lap without a by-your-leave! 

She buried her face in my chest and held still for a few moments and then I could hear her whisper, "Are you going to make us leave after a year?"

I held still, not saying anything. Scared at even the thought of Ada and Silvia leaving, I put my hand on her back and gently patted her, almost like burping the baby. She smelled of powder, of lavender, of the mysterious scent of woman. 

I quietly whispered into her ear, "I hope you never leave, Ada."

I think she was already asleep. I held her, light in my arms, for the longest time, smelling her, letting my mind drift and dream. Finally she wiggled a bit, I guess to get more comfortable. I stood up with her in my arms and carried her up to her bed. The cover was already turned down so I laid her down, gently. I stood looking at her for a while, trying to see how so much woman could be in such a small package.




The Seduction of Ada Ch. 02



Maybe she had heard me in the chair, maybe not... I never knew. But the next morning when she came down she gave me a hug and kissed me soundly on the cheek. I could feel her firm breasts thrusting into me and I had to turn away before I became more aroused. 

One thing that did happen was Ada told me about what happened with the professor at the lake. Outside the walkout basement I had a small deck with a couple of comfortable chairs. It was a warm evening and I was nursing a beer and she was having some tea. I don't know what started her talking but I know it was hard for her. She was staring at the river in the evening twilight so I did the same. I knew it was hard for her and I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. 

My heart went out to her. I wanted to grab her in my arms and tell her of my love. I wasn't sure this was the right moment but in light of what happened later I wish I had. We sat in the evening quiet for a long time, listened to the crickets and further away the frogs in the pond below. Finally she gave a deep sigh and went to her room. 

What was the right thing to do? Do any of us ever really know?

Life was good! And then it wasn't!

LOVE GROWS... LIFE HAPPENS

"Cruelty has a Human Heart,
And jealousy a Human Face;
Terror the Human Form Divine,
And secrecy the Human Dress."
- William Blake

I guess I was learning about the important things in life. I know that many girls my age were running around searching for life. I didn't need to search – I had everything I could want... well almost everything. 

I had my baby, Silvia. I couldn't imagine life without my little angel. And I had David. Well, sort of. I knew I was in love with him then. I didn't care about the age; I had seen his heart. And he was handsome! He was tall, slim and looked much younger than his age. His hair was curly black with just the tiniest touch of gray scattered around. 

I knew he loved me... a woman knows these things. But in some misguided sense of "doing the right thing" he felt he was too old for me. There was no question that he loved Silvia. The depth of that love was so obvious it melted my heart. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach then I think the way to a woman's heart is through her baby!

It would devastate him to be apart from my little girl and break my heart to see it. I never saw a father love a baby more than that man loved Silvia. I knew I would live with him, give myself to him even if I didn't love him... just for his love of Silvia. I had met many women that got less from their husbands that I was getting. He was a rock and so even tempered. I had never seen him angry. 

But I did love him! I tried to show him every way that I could and I think he knew. He was just so damned obstinate about the stupid age thing; he was just so... so like a man!

I did all the little things – I read in a book once they were called "feminine wiles." At the time I didn't understand what it meant but I did now. I guess it's something God gave woman to make sure she found a mate. I could already see it in Silvia, the way she wrapped David around her finger. 

I started holding his hands when we went for walks. Once at a movie I held his hand in my lap. I was feeling all tingly and wanted to push his hand down on me – but I was afraid to. Another time I left my breast out after feeding Silvia. I pretended it was an accident and I saw him staring... I could see him getting hard. I got scared he would get mad at me so I closed my blouse.

One night I sat in the tub soaking. The hot water was so relaxing and I was feeling like... a woman. I put a drop of my favorite perfume; one that Missy had given me. I put my pajamas on – I thought about a short gown but I wanted to get him interested, not give him a heart attack!

He was sitting in his chair and I just sat on his lap, like it was something I did every day. He was surprised but then he relaxed and held me. I wasn't sure what to do next. I finally said something about whether Silvia and I would have to leave after a year. He had an immediate erection when I sat on his lap but as I said this into his chest it started going away. He didn't say anything for the longest time; I think I scared him. 

Then, just as I was drifting off, I heard those lovely words, "I hope you never leave, Ada."

I awoke the next morning with a warm feeling. I ran down the stairs and gave him a big hug; I made sure to press my breasts into his stomach and gave him a big kiss on the cheek.

I thought things would be okay then but he stayed the same way: loving me but not making love to me. The only thing else I could think of was to just crawl in bed with him. The only reason I didn't do that was that I would be devastated if he pushed me away. The thought came to me that he felt the same. That made me think.

I guess I should have just talked to him but I was afraid that he wouldn't take me for his wife, which is what I wanted more than anything. So I got this brilliant idea, actually a stupid idea but I thought it was brilliant at the time.

I would make him jealous!

I came to be good friends with the other girl I worked with. Her name was Marsha but everyone called her Sunny. I assumed it was because of her long pale blond hair but it was because of her disposition. She was the friendliest, most outgoing person I'd ever met. Everyone liked her and she was friendly with everyone. She was somewhere way south of smart but I liked her and she was easy to work with. 

We stopped off for a drink after work one Saturday at a local restaurant that had a nice cocktail lounge and a small dance floor. On Saturday nights they always had a live band. Most it would be a country-western band but sometimes blues or something.

I told her my problem and she giggled and agreed with me. "Men love to be jealous! Well, maybe not love it but they sure become more lovin'. I sure know that for a fact," she gushed. 

I wasn't sure but I thought I'd play my hand out. She would always drink beer, saying, "Men love it when you don't cost too much." She was full of aphorisms like that, gleaned from her apparently vast experience with men. I knew so little I guess I paid too much attention to her.

I got home an hour later than usual; I drank two sodas even though I didn't want them. David was standing there, looking upset.

"Where were you? I've been worried sick."

Well, that was good news! I was having second thoughts but fought them off. 

"Well, Sunny wanted to stop by for a drink after work and I hardly ever get out anymore. It sounded like fun." He had met Sunny one day when he brought the baby over to the visitor center at Bonneville Dam where I worked.

I watched him closely when I said this and saw him flinch when I said drink. I knew he was thinking of what happened to me. I started to say that I only had a soda but I needed him to make a move. I decided to stick with my plan.

"That's okay, isn't it? I'll let you know so you can get Pearl to take care of Silvia but I do need to relax." Let him sweat a little!

He looked upset but I could see him consciously relax and give a deep sigh, "No, that's fine. I was just so used to you coming home at a certain time. Of course you want to meet people – you are young and your life is ahead of you!"

I leaned forward and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. This time I really pressed my breasts into him. It felt good and I almost attacked him. I remembered hearing a couple of neighbor women talkin' when I was a kid, "If you want to keep a man payin' attention, you've got to give him a little vinegar and a little sugar. The sugar will be all the sweeter after he tastes the vinegar!"

I should have known better that to listen to a couple of old hags that had both lost their husbands.

So I started every Saturday night going out with Sunny. For the first few weeks we would just drink a little; me with my soda and Sunny with her beer. Once in a while I would take a mouthful of Sunny's beer, just to tease David. Once I even spilled a little on my blouse. David would look a little upset, maybe a bit sad but he never said anything. 

About the third or fourth time we stayed a little later and the band would come in and the dancing would start. At first I refused to dance; after all my love was only for David. 

Finally Sunny told me, "Dance a little. Get the smell of aftershave on you cheek and it will drive David wild."

I decided to go ahead and I danced a couple dances. I wasn't really enjoying it and kept looking at my watch, thinking about David and Silvia. There was one guy, Mark he said his name was, and once I gave him a dance he was all over me. He kept trying to pull me close but I just stepped back. There was a slow number and I remembered what Sunny had said about the after-shave so I let him pull me close. It was disgusting but I was desperate for David's love. I rinsed my mouth with beer and spit it out in my water glass and went home. 

I guess I overdid it because David turned his head when I tried to kiss him. That hurt! I almost gave up but decided to try one more week. If that didn't work he was just going to have to kick me out of his bed. I wasn't enjoying it anyway; I'd much rather be home with Silvia and David. 

The next week Sunny had to leave the bar early – she had what she called a "hot date." I was going to leave just as the band started playing and Mark appeared out of nowhere. He whirled me around a couple of times – the dance floor was really crowded all of a sudden. I don't know why I went to his table with him... I didn't like him at all.

He knew that I didn't drink so he went to the bar and got himself a beer and me a coke. He came back and we talked (shouted) some and then he asked me to dance one more time. As we were dancing, I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden. 

Mark looked at me with concern. "Are you all right, Ada? You don't look so good. Let me walk you out to your car."

By that time, I was staggering a little – I felt strange, numb kinda. As we went by the bar the bartender stepped out and asked, "Are you okay, Ada?"

Mark snapped at him, "She's fine. I'm just taking her out for some fresh air."

The bartender was looking at me. All I could think of was that fresh air sounded good. I nodded at the bartender, Timmy I think his name was. Mark pulled me out into the parking lot. 

We were by a truck so I was confused. "Mark, this is a truck!"

"Yeah, babe. You are in no shape to drive." He reached into the truck and pulled out a bottle of something and took a big swig. "Damn, that was good. Here, try some honey!"

He held the bottle up to my lips but I was really confused. I felt like that time at the lake but I hadn't been drinking, had I? Mark stuck the bottle in my mouth and it was either swallow or choke. A lot of it spilled on my blouse.

Mark pushed me up into the truck and went around to the driver's side. He leaned over, gave me more of the whisky and I tried not to drink. More of it spilled on my blouse.

"Hey, honey. Your blouse is all wet. Let me wipe it off for you."

He took his hand and put it on my breast squeezing it hard, hurting me. I started panicking, flashing back to the lake but I couldn't move. As the truck started I saw the hand on my knee, wondering whose it was.

End of Part two. The final chapter will be released shortly. 



The Seduction of Ada Ch. 03



This is the third and final part of this story. If you haven't read the first two chapters, please read them first.

Thanks very much, as always, to Techsan for his quick and accurate editing! Thanks also to Lady Cibelle for her kind comments and assistance.

Thanks for reading, please vote.

LOVE IS BLIND 

Jealousy is the fear of comparison.

Max Frisch

I was confused the first time Ada came home late. It had never happened before. When she said she deserved some time to relax I knew she was right. I just didn't like it. 

I felt anew the confusion of my mature love of a young woman. She deserved the time and space to grow. I knew I had to give it to her, she was young and wanted to meet a man of her age. It hurt but I could understand. I was worried about what she said about drinking, remembering the story she had told me on the deck. 

It turned into a regular Saturday night thing. I could smell the beer on her breath and then a cheap aftershave. I knew she was dancing now since she was coming home sweaty. I would ask her what she had done but she would just drawl, "relaxin'."

The first time she kissed me and it was sweet feeling her body on mine. Then the evil green monster of jealousy stepped in – I wasn't immune to it. I was human! 

She would come home and try to kiss me with the beer on her breath, her beautiful hair smelling of cigars and stale cigarette smoke. I would see her red lips and wonder who had been kissing them. She would try to press her breast into me and I would see a man, younger than me, pawing them. 

It hurt me to see her like this. I threw myself into taking care of Silvia; my passion became adoring her. Ada would try to be close and I would smell the man smell on her and turn away. She looked confused and hurt when I did this but I couldn't share her. How could I compete with a man half my age? I was a fool, making a life of love on nothing more than a wispy dream. 

My heart died. I tried to be generous about it – she deserved happiness. But I hadn't realized the depth of my love for her, the dreams I'd spun, the memories I'd created in anticipation. I knew I had lost her and I knew it was my own fault for not telling her of my feelings. I guess I just gave up and prayed that she would at least let me have Silvia in my life. 

One Saturday night she was even later coming home. It was around ten and she had never gotten home past nine. The phone shrilled, shocking me with the sudden intrusion. It was Timmy from the bar. I'd gone hunting with him a couple times for antelope and knew him pretty well. 

"Dave, I think we have a problem. Ada was staggering out of here with a sleaze that comes here to prey on women. I know Ada had never had anything to drink, we have joked about that a number of times. I'm the one that always fixes her drink and they are always non-alcoholic! So I think you had better do something. I don't know enough to call the cops."

"Damn, Timmy! Do you have any idea where they went?"

"Well he lives in a cheap apartment complex behind the hardware store on Cascade. I don't know which apartment but there aren't very many of them."

I called Pearl to come over and watch the baby. I was waiting outside for her and as soon as she went in the house I took off in my van. It wasn't very far and I was there in five minutes or so. As I pulled up I saw a man helping Ada out of a truck and I lost it! As I was getting out of my car I could see him kissing her with his hands moving over her body. 

I ran to them, sick at heart and suddenly back on that island that had one way or another killed my son. I jerked him away from her and hit him in the stomach as hard as I could. I had on heavy work boots and I tried to destroy his nuts... but he twisted as he was falling down and I caught his knee full on. I could hear the crunch and knew the knee would need to be reconstructed. 

Ada stared at me, mumbled, "Oh, Davey!" as she collapsed.

Her skin felt greasy and her pulse was racing so I threw her into the van and raced to the hospital. I told them what happened, that it was alcohol and/or drugs. They took her away and I went back to admitting to fill out the damn paperwork.

I sat down and waited for the doctor. I was crying, wondering how my life had turned to shit so fast. 

The doctor came in and talked to me.

"Mister Chance, there is some alcohol for sure but not as much as we expected. We have some blood samples in the lab but it will be a couple of hours before we hear anything. We do suspect it was one of the date rape drugs. We have pumped out her stomach and are treating her for the drugs. She is in no real danger but I want to keep her here for a couple of days for observation.

"By the way, we just got a guy in with a shattered knee. If this is related, there is a detective that wants to talk to you."

So I talked to the police and told them everything I knew. I told them what Timmy had said and gave them Sunny's name. The outcome was that he had to have a knee replacement and with Timmy and Sunny's testimony, he went to Salem for seven to ten. It turns out he was on probation for a similar crime in Portland.

I talked to the doctor again and he told me to go home. He expected her to be released Monday morning with no long-term effects, depending on the blood tests.

I went home and woke up Pearl, telling her what had happened. I asked her if she could stay for a couple of days until Ada got out of the hospital. I told her I had to get away for a couple of days. She could see my hurt and told me not to worry, she would take care of Ada and the baby. 

I went downstairs and wrote a letter for Ada. I couldn't tell her of my despair to her face. I left my letter on Ada's pillow. I packed a bag and told Pearl that I would be back in a week. One of my fishing buddies had a 26' fishing boat so I woke him up and asked if I could borrow it for a week.

I drove to the marina and pulled out into the Columbia, figuring I'd mostly float down to Astoria and motor back up the river. I'd do a little fishing and try to figure out what had happened to my life. 

As I quietly floated down the river, maintaining just enough power to steer, I tried to make sense of it all. I watched the lights from the houses along the river as I went by... at first they were twinkling... then twinkling off, becoming as dark as my soul.

ENDINGS... AND BEGINNINGS

"'Hope' is the thing with feathers— That perches in the soul—"

Emily Dickinson

The light from the hallway made me aware of my surroundings. I must have been awake for fifteen minutes or so when the nurse came in to check on me. I hadn't been thinking or anything – I was in that drifting zone between asleep and alert.

The nurse saw my eyes open and walked up, smiling, "I see you are awake? How are you feeling?"

I started to ask, "Where am I?" but realized that was a stupid question... I knew that the nurse being present meant I was in the hospital.

I tried again, "What happened?"

"Well, you are okay now but I would rather have the doctor talk to you." Looking at her watch, she continued, "Dr. Schultz will be in about two hours for rounds. Can I get you anything now?"

I felt extremely thirsty. "Water, please? And Miss, do you have any ice?"

"Sure, honey. I'll be right back."

I tried to piece it together. I remember being at the lounge when Sunny left. I was leaving when... that was it! Mark grabbed me and started dancing. I remember sitting down at a table then he got me a coke from the bar. I vaguely saw another image of dancing but it quickly faded away.

The nurse brought me the water and a paper cup of ice chips. I drank the water down and she poured me another. I put one of the ice chips in my mouth and I guess I fell asleep.

The dream slipped unbidden into my subconscious. I was in a truck and I saw a man's hand on my leg. He was squeezing me hard... I could feel, see even, the bruises forming. Like watching a movie I saw myself half-falling, half being carried down from the high step of the truck. I was in a small parking lot. There was some light from the street and several flashing neon lights. There was a man, Mark, kissing me and kneading my breast painfully. I felt no emotion. I felt cold.

A van pulled into the lot, its headlights on bright. A man jumped out, seemingly paralyzed by the sight before him. He suddenly rushed us. Oh, God! It was Davey. Davey, what have I done to us? The world faded to black.

The morning sun streamed brilliantly through the window waking me with a start. The dream came to me, as a vision, and I started crying. The door opened and a doctor and another man in a suit walked in.

With a breezy smile, the doctor introduced himself, "Good morning, young lady! I'm Dr. Schultz and this is Detective Anders. How do you feel, miss?"

"I feel... heavy, like I couldn't lift my body. My mind seems mushy. What happened?"

"Yes, well, that is what Detective Anders wants to talk to you about. You had a small amount of alcohol in your system, nothing serious, really. You were given two different drugs, what the press calls 'date rape' drugs. Have you ever heard of them?"

"Well, at school I heard some of the girls talking and... no, I guess I don't know much."

"Well, what I think happened is this guy that gave it to you didn't consider your small size. These drugs - and we have identified two of them - normally take about a half-hour to two hours to take effect. Depending on the dosage it could take effect in around ten minutes, particularly with your body weight. I won't go into the medical details but basically you would lose judgment and the ability to control your body. That means you would stagger like you were drunk. The drugs would lessen your ability to fight off sexual advances. 

"Both the good and bad thing with you was the rapid lowering of your blood pressure. In about thirty minutes, as best we can figure out, you passed out from the low blood pressure. That kept you from ingesting any more alcohol. Once we got your stomach pumped out and stabilized your blood pressure you were fine. 

"You will have some memory impairment for the next twenty-four hours or so. Normally you wouldn't remember anything that happened under the influence of the drug but you were at the hospital so quick you should eventually remember most of what happened."

I stared at him, scared at what almost happened. 

"I was going to have you talk to Detective Anders but now I think tomorrow morning would be better."

Turning to the detective, he continued, "Ed, I really think that by tomorrow she will remember more."

"One thing, doc. Can I show her some pictures and ask if she remembers the guy's name?"

The doctor looked at me so I nodded.

"What was his name?"
 "I never knew his full name but his first name is Mark. I'm pretty sure the bartender at the lounge, Timmy, knows who he is."

"Okay, look at these pictures."

He handed me a stack of six pictures; the third one was Mark. I pulled it out and handed it to him.

"You are sure about this, Miss?"

"Yes!" I replied firmly.

Detective Anders thanked me and left. 

The doctor continued, "Anything else I can do for you, Ada?"

Timidly, I asked, "Who brought me here?" 

"Oh, that was David Chance. Everyone in town that was a veteran knows him. He's active in the VFW Lodge."

"Is he... is he still here?"

"Ada," the doctor said kindly, "He said he had to go somewhere for a week. He said your grandmother would visit you today with your baby and she will take you home tomorrow. And while I'm thinking about it, do not nurse the baby before Wednesday. We need to make sure that all of the drugs are out of your system."

He left me alone then, with my tears. 

I dozed for a bit then woke up with an ominous feeling... a sense of impending tragedy. I had been reading some of Longfellow's poems last week and the words from one of them came to me:

A feeling of sadness and longing That is not akin to pain, And resembles sorrow only As the mist resembles the rain.

Could I, by my efforts to gain Davey's love, have lost that love?

~~~~~~

Grandma Pearl came by that Sunday afternoon. I hugged Silvia to my breast. She automatically started searching for my nipple. I pulled her up to my neck and cried in her hair, "I'm sorry baby, I can't!" I had started with the bottle with her a couple of weeks earlier but was still nursing some.

"What about David?" I asked my granny.

Her eyes were damp as she told me, "He said he had to get away. I think he is coming back next week. There is a letter on your bed. He, said... just a minute, let me get this straight! He said, 'Tell Ada I'm sorry. I wanted you too much and I won't bother you any more.' He didn't say anything but I know he will die if he can't see Silvia. Don't take that away from him, honey!"

"Oh, granny! I love him! What can I do?"

"Come home tomorrow, Ada. Read his letter, then we will see!"

I cried and slept until Monday morning when the doctor released me. He said I could do anything except nurse the baby and that after Wednesday I could do that if I wanted.

I went home with granny and Silvia.  Pearl was staying at David's place while he was gone, to make sure I was okay. The letter was on my pillow but I was afraid to read it. Finally that night when granny and the baby were both asleep, I sat down and read my would-be lover's letter.

Dearest Ada,

I know you had feelings for me – what you never knew was the depth of my love for you. After Missy died I never expected, even hoped for, a love that strong again. 

I didn't know what to do. I so wanted to declare my love for you – but what if you couldn't return it? How would I deal with the pain? I was too afraid of rejection.

I'd finally decided that I'd rather have a small chance at love with you and Silvia than the larger chance that if, realistically, you felt I was too old for you! I kept thinking that when Silvia graduated from college I'd be 75 years old!

Then you started going out on Saturdays to drink and dance with the guys your age and I realized what a fool I'd been! I feel sick that I couldn't control the jealousy I felt... and it made you uncomfortable with me. I kept remembering something from an Erika Jong book I read years ago: "Jealousy is all the fun you think they had."

I was cursed with too vivid an imagination. I didn't know what you did on those Saturday evenings. What I saw you doing in my mind was more than I could handle. I had no claim to you... but I would see, in my mind, these guys talking with you, dancing with you... kissing you – and I was jealous! 

I apologize for that and ask for your forgiveness. I understand that you want and need a man your age. I'll stay out of your way. 

I only ask one thing. Though I dreamed of you for so many nights you were never mine. I hope I can accept that over time. I ask that you, as you get on with your life and find the man you deserve, find a way for me to spend time with Silvia. If I were to lose both of you, I don't know how I could continue on. Everything I have ever loved has been taken from me. 

If you ever need anything, please let me know.

Your friend, David Chance

A final note, if I may. In the parking lot at Mark's apartment, you called me Davey! You know, of course, that was Missy's pet name for me; no one else has ever called me that. Then, when I heard that from your sweet lips, the dream in my heart died. I knew what I had lost. I'll treasure those parting words from you; my memories of forever will be the dreams I make of your parting words.

I sat, the tears dripping down on his letter, chasing his words to the end. Oh, David! What fools we are!

I had thrown away every dream I had left. I wasn't woman enough for my man. I couldn't accept the sorrow I had caused this wonderful person.

The next morning I wrote a letter to David, I'd lost the chance to call him Davey and left it on the keyboard of his computer. I packed a bag for Silvia and took the afternoon bus back to Bend... going home with more shame and sorrow that I had left with.

I was foolish for hoping for love after what had happened to me but the miracle that was Silvia would be my life! I considered David to be her father and I would deny nothing to him regarding her. 

OH WHAT FOOLS WE ARE

"Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed."

Shakespeare Richard II, I,I,156

It was a bittersweet journey down the Columbia River I had been traversing. I pulled up to an island in the early dawn where the Willamette River met the mighty Columbia. I remembered this place from the honeymoon with Missy so many years ago. We had rented a boat in Portland and lazed down the Willamette to the larger river. We found this island that was at one time an orchard of Green Gage plums. There had been a clearing on the island; hidden by the trees. On a blanket we coupled there. I was always convinced afterwards that our daughter was conceived there.

Now, so many years later, I walked to that clearing in the early morning mist... looking for magic, for... hope. It was all an illusion – Missy was gone and Ada never was! I trudged back to the boat and slept a troubled sleep - no dreams now, only a vague discomfort. 

Just before noon a larger boat announced its arrival with a mournful horn, loud in its closeness. The traffic was heavy on the river and I fished for breakfast; unreasonably pleased with my success. 

I casually rode the river, mesmerized by the beauty of the trees; fascinated with the huge log booms being slowly tugged along. Finally I arrived at Astoria, a town of history and beauty at the oceans edge. I had a lunch of "Hangtown Fry," oysters with scrambled eggs and felt apart from all I saw. I spent the night a small riverside hotel I knew and slept a dreamless, restful sleep. 

The next morning I started back to Hood River, the boat at full power in the strong current; my mind committed to the lot life gave me. I understood that the best love I could give to Ada was to let her go, to let "the caged bird free."

I was not happy but I was accepting; I would live with the hand life dealt me and live as honorably as I could.

I walked into the house and knew at once it was empty... no sweet odors of Ada, no less sweet smell of Silvia. The house was as a tomb. It came to me that I'd never been alone there before!

Defeated and sad, I trudged slowly up the stairs. On an impulse I had decided to lie on Ada's bed, forlorn in my loneliness and thus missing Ada's letter for that day.

I dreamed of the time Ada had inadvertently left her breast uncovered and was ashamed in the morning with the discovery of my nocturnal emission.

Around ten the next morning I listlessly entered my office to check on my business email. There was an envelope there. I picked it up, stared at it. It was like someone from the past, coming upon a computer for the first time... what is this strange alien thing, evocative of the sweet lavender of Ada?

I opened the letter and as I read the dainty words... my heart beat again the beat of a man... the blood flowing through my body awakened a life and a hunger I thought was dead.

Darling Davey.

I can't bear to face you with the pain I have caused. I love you as much as a woman could love a man. And I knew you loved me the same!  In my impetuous youth I wanted you now; I dreamed of you coming to my bed. Rather that wait for you to come to me in your own time, in your own way, I did something stupid of which I'll ever be ashamed!

I knew the depth of your anguish over losing your lovely Missy; I knew how you mourned for her. 

I was afraid of you for so long – you were a man! I had been hurt so bad I couldn't see your goodness. Then when you helped me at the birthing... I so needed you; then you held Silvia with a love I'd never seen a man give a woman. When I saw all this and lived with your strength and your gentle manner. That's when I fell in love with you!




The Seduction of Ada Ch. 03



I feel so bad now when I see how I tried to flirt with you! When I was nursing and you saw my breast... that was no accident!

At the movie when I was holding your hand; oh God! I needed to pull it down on my flesh!

And now I realize – you were still mourning for Missy! I won't ask for your forgiveness – I know that's not mine to ask. 

I have to tell you that I was only trying to make you jealous! I never drank anything. I stupidly would rinse my mouth with beer; would spill beer on my blouse! I just wasn't mature enough to understand you were still with Missy!

So I don't ask, or expect you to love me. That would be too much to dream. But, dear Davey, don't cut darling Silvia from your life! She is one of life's innocents, unlike me. Please keep her in you life – I understand your love for her and I know she will love you the same. 

I wish I had been wiser... but I wasn't!

Your Ada.

I went to Portland and made a purchase, one I should have made earlier. I drove from there to Bend and checked into a snug motel. I swam a few laps in the pool to relax and called Hal, Ada's dad. I asked if he could meet me at a local steak place and pleaded with him to not tell Ada or her mother whom he was meeting with.

I liked Hal – we had met several times and seemed to get along together. When he walked in, I already had a beer for him. 

I started to make my planned speech but Hal interrupted me.

"David, I like you. From the first time I saw you I liked you. But I got to tell, you, Ada is not happy! And Silvia! She just isn't sleeping well! She doesn't want to go to sleep at night. So, David, what are you goin' to do about it?"

I smiled a little, for the first time in several months. 

"Hal, could I have your daughter's hand in marriage?"

He stared at me for a moment. Of a sudden he jumped up and grabbed my hand. "You're gosh darn tooting you can! But I gotta be honest with you, David, I don't see you as a son but as a friend!"

He stuck his big paw out and we shook, man to man!

We drove back together to his house with both cars. I grabbed two separate bundles of roses and a plastic book for babies and we went in the house. All the women were there, Ada, her mother and the baby, my baby. 

Ada started to run to me but I gave her a look and she held back.

I gave a dozen roses to her mom and said, formally, "Mrs. Chandler, I asked your husband for your daughter's hand in marriage. Are you okay with that?"

She hugged me and started crying so I took that as a yes. 

Ada looked like she wanted to jump me but I shook my head again and she held back.

I walked over to Silvia, playing on the floor. I picked her up and handed her the plastic picture book. I asked her if she wanted me to be her daddy.  She gurgled a bit, burped a little and started giggling. I took that as a yes.

I walked over to Ada and got down on my knees. I took the ring I had in my pocket and put it on her finger. I had this long speech I had memorized but I broke down and started crying.  I threw my arms around Ada and she just held me, shaking.

She collapsed to the floor with me and kept saying, "Yes! Yes! Yes!" over and over.

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE

"Love is the perfect sum Of all delight."

Tobias Hume

We sat on our horses as they restlessly cropped the grass. Our darling Silvia now nine, raced across the meadow, her hair flowing behind as her pony chased the wind.

Missy's dad had died three years ago and her mom shortly after. My folks were still healthy and alert but couldn't manage the three thousand acres of the combined ranches. After our marriage we moved back to the ranch, finding a peace together that satisfied us. We had another two babies, Bobbie and Crystal. Ada had insisted on those names. The babies were back at the ranch with mom and Mina, the daughter of the housekeeper that had raised me.

Silvia had turned into a beautiful child, already taller than her mom. She had a special beauty given only to a few. She adored her brother and sister as I still adored her.

Ada took my hand and we looked at each other... sad for a minute as we thought about that we had almost lost! 

Authors note: I hope you enjoyed this story. I'm thinking about a sequel that would focus on Silvia, as she becomes a woman. What do you readers think?



The Seduction of Ada



Robert waited with the professor in the living room, telling him to sit and shut up for a few minutes. He stood looking out the window watching for Professor Franks' wife, Terry to show up. Robert looked at Franks while he was waiting, thinking to himself, "What a shit head! He has a great job, a lovely, very nice wife and a boy and a girl, both in their early teens." 

He saw Terry's car park and waited a couple of minutes more and then took Billy Franks back to the kitchen. He froze when he saw me there. I must have been a pathetic sight, even to Franks, even with him knowing he had done this to me.

There was blood at my crotch and several splotches scattered on my skirt. My face was streaked with tears, the top button of my blouse missing, showing my small cleavage. Standing there, smelling of my vomit, my hair wildly mussed up, I must have looked like a small child, a broken doll.

Robert spoke sharply, harshly to the soon to be ex-professor, "That's right, you piece of shit! Look at her!"

He reached over and grabbed Franks by his chin, squeezing firmly. "Look at me! Did you do this to her?"

The suddenly spineless teacher slumped and looked at the floor, tears coming to his eyes, slowly nodding his head, not able to look at anyone.

Robert grabbed his shirt and, speaking coldly, told him, "If I had my way you would spend the next ten or fifteen years at the state pen in Salem," pausing a bit for emphasis he continued, " ... where we send the murderers and rapists! Ada, for her own reasons, doesn't want that to happen. So you are going to sign this letter of resignation, to be effective immediately. Part of what's in the letter is a statement that you will never teach again!"

"You will not go back to the school for any reason. Any personal stuff we will send to you. If word of this ever gets out, I promise I will personally come looking for you. Now Ada has something to say and then one more person will want to talk to you."

I walked up to him, my lips twisted in anger, "I trusted you! You were my professor. You stole something from me today that can't ever be returned. More than that you stole my pride." I walked up close to him, looking in his eyes, seeing a beginning of blankness setting in, his eyes seeming to become opaque. 

"I just have one thing to say to you. My dad gets home tomorrow afternoon and I'm going to tell him what you did. If you are smart, you will be at least two states away by then." I spit in his face and with all the strength of a lifetime as a tomboy in the outdoors, raised my knee to his crotch as viciously as I could. 

I thanked Robert and Anne and started to walk out when I saw the professor's wife standing there, looking crushed with tears streaming down her face. 

She stepped up to me, put her arms around me and held me tightly and muttered, "You poor, poor child," several times. 

I walked out the back door, taking a shortcut home. I put my clothes in a bag for the trash and took a long shower and went to bed. I had a terrible headache, I guess from the booze, and took several aspirin. I lay there silently crying, crying for my lost dreams of love and children.

The next morning I walked over to Anne's to thank her again; she had always been very nice to me. She told me about what happened after I left. 

"His wife was furious! I won't go through the gruesome details but she's leaving him and taking the kids. She's going back to Memphis where she's from and she told him that she was telling her family what he had done - without mentioning your name, dear. They will beat the crap out of him if he ever comes near her or the kids again. She is going to get a divorce in Tennessee on grounds of desertion."

Anne gave me a hug and continued, "It doesn't make up for what he did to you but it should stay quiet and you got what you wanted. He lost his job and will never teach again, he lost his wife and at the right time she will tell his kids what he did, just in case he ever tries to contact them later. If he does he will find that he has also lost the respect and love of his children! So you have taken from him the three most important things in his life."

That afternoon I sat down with my mom and dad and told them everything. This was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Daddy was furious and wanted to call the police, then wanted to go kill the miserable son of a bitch! I calmed him down, explaining why I had done what I did and what had happened to him. They hugged me tight and we all cried a lot. It hurt me to see them so sad.

I was able to finish the term and get my Associate Degree in Forestry. It was bittersweet to stand up on the dais and get the degree. I had worked so hard and was proud of what I had done but I had tears in my eyes for what had happened to me and for what I didn't have anymore.

A couple weeks after that I missed my period. The shock was almost as great as what happened at the lake. We worried about it for a few weeks and I finally decided to have the baby. I would not make any final decisions about keeping it now; I'd just wait and see. Shortly after that Grandma Pearl called mom and told me about this nice woman in Hood River that needed someone to help take care of her until her time ran out. I agreed to go up and meet them.

What had I learned from all that had happened? I remembered a quote one of my teachers wrote on the blackboards one day, I guess to inspire the students. It was from Mary Barnett Gilson, " ... every experience in life enriches one's background and should teach valuable lessons."

Well I learned! I had two new rules to guide me in my life as I struggled for a direction:

1. Don't trust men.
2. Only drink with men I trust (see rule one).

On the bus from Bend to Hood River I was reading a novel by Oliver Goldsmith, written in 1762. I found a certain peace in reading the old classics. It was both fun and interesting to try to picture what life was like at that place and time. I ran across a stanza that would provide me with food for thought for months to come. At odd times the image of the words came to me:

"When lovely woman stoops to folly,
And finds too late that men betray,
What charm can soothe her melancholy,
What art can wash her guilt away?"

Looking out the window, thinking of those words, I came to the decision to keep the baby. My life would be with little Silvia Marie. Somehow I knew it would be a girl; the name was one I picked out as a child for one of my dolls. I would protect Silvia from a disaster like mine; I would forego men and their treacherous ways. I knew of folly and betrayal; I already had melancholy and guilt. My dreams of marriage died in the back of that pickup truck. My family would be Silvia.

LIFE AFTER DEATH

"If it is not a tragical life we live, then I know not what to call it."

Henry David Thoreau

Missy died in the days between Christmas and New Years and the funeral was on New Year's Day. We had Missy buried on the ranch outside Medford. She wanted to be next to the kids. The trip would have been too much for Ada so she stayed with her grandmother, Pearl, for the two days I was gone. 

Driving home I had this sense of an ending and a starting anew. I couldn't keep my mind focused enough to really grab hold of the thought but it was there.

When I got back I walked over to Pearl's house to let them know I was back. I thought Ada would walk back with me but she looked at me funny, like she was scared of me. She asked if she could stay with her Grandmother for another day or so. Later over dinner I really started to wonder just what had happened to her. From things that Missy said, I knew that Ada had finally confided in her but Missy never gave any details. I realized then that having Missy with us had provided a buffer between Ada and I, a sort of security blanket for Ada. 

I thought about it for a while and wished Missy had clued me in on what had happened to Ada. I decided I'd better be very gentle with her and give her the space it seemed she needed.

That night I had the dream again. The last time I had it was the day we heard about Bobbie's death at Khe Sanh. The dream was of blood... blood on my face and hands. In the dream I could not wash it off and it kept spreading, covering more and more of my body. My body and soul was stained with a suffocating redness that turned black in my mind.

~~~~~~

"We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he today that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother."

Henry V, IV,iii,60

We had taken Henderson Field from the entrenched Japanese forces. Somehow they had no front line troops holding the field – just the construction workers and support elements. The company commander, Captain Hewitt, called the officers and NCOs together for a briefing. The latest intel said the Japs had moved major combat elements to Guadalcanal to take the airfield back.

What was making it look bleak was that the navy had taken off before we got much of our heavy artillery unloaded. I was a corporal then and our platoon was tasked with finding out the enemy strength and troop dispositions. 

The platoon leader, Lt. Zimmerman, led us out quietly at 0100. The second squad had point and my squad was bringing up the rear. We were going in the jungle at the edge of the clearing at the top of the ridge. After about 500 yards we turned off down a path towards the river. We were specifically looking for infiltrators trying to bypass the ridge.

About 200 yards down the trail the point squad was met head on with what sounded like a company of the enemy and the other two squads were hit from the uphill side of the trail by what sounded like another company. Both of the attacking forces had machine guns. I signaled my men to drop off the downhill side of the trail and led them slowly forward. We needed to get into position to see what we could do to help.

We were a heavy weapons squad with a BAR and a couple guys carrying ammo for it. We got close enough we could see from the firing which side was which. Johnny, the guy with the BAR, was a big kid from Arkansas. The Browning Automatic Rifle was a heavy son-of-a-bitch, weighing almost sixteen pounds. It took someone with a little heft to handle it. The ammo is really heavy too. Given that the BAR could shoot around 450 shots a minute made it a definite team weapon, considering the total weight of weapon and ammo.

We spotted a small group of the Japs trying to encircle what was left of the platoon so I told Johnny to take them out. He opened up and I could see from the flashes some of the enemy soldiers going down. Suddenly, not more than fifty yards from us and down the hill a little, a Japanese machine gun opened up. From the sound it was a Taisho 11 Light Machine Gun. It was fairly light for a machine gun and easier to carry in the jungle. Its downside was a smaller cartridge. 

Their first burst took out Johnny and the two ammo carriers... it just cut them to pieces. I grabbed the BAR – none of the guys left were big enough to handle it – and took off to the right of them a bit. I dropped down and threw a grenade, more to distract them than anything else. As soon as I saw the flash I jumped up and ran at them as fast as I could holding the BAR down and spraying them. Just as I got to their position I ran out of ammo. It looked like they were all dead so I turned back to see if anyone was bringing ammo. 

While I had my head turned one of them with a dying strength jammed a knife in my calf. I spun around, yanked the knife out of my leg and sliced his throat with it. In the dim light, lit only by intermittent weapon flashes, his throat looked like an evil grin... blood spurting out in waves. Jerry arrived first carrying one of the ammo cans. I had him tape my leg as tight as he could and we edged uphill to the LTs position. We were able to make contact and moved in with the rest of the platoon. Out of the original 44 guys in the platoon there were only 13 effectives left.

The Japs had backed off and were just laying down harassing fire. I guessed they were waiting for reinforcements. Lieutenant Zimmerman had a nasty scalp wound and was bleeding heavily in spite of the bandage around his head. The platoon sergeant and the other three squad leaders were all dead leaving me in charge. There were too many wounded to carry back. I made a quick decision to carry the Lt. back and get reinforcements. 

I told the guys that were still able to fight what I wanted them to do. I put the LT's pistol in my belt – anything else would be too heavy to carry. I picked him up in a fireman's carry and started back, returning the same way I came. Just before I got back to the trail at the edge of the clearing I almost bumped into a sniper that was getting ready to climb a tree. He looked over and saw me... and froze! His hands were both hanging onto a tree limb. I grabbed the pistol and put a round in the middle of his back. I guess I was just quicker than him. With the stopping power of the .45 I wasn't worried about whether he would come back at me.

Even at 150 pounds I was staggering with the LT's weight. What bothered me more was his blood dripping down my face and neck, some of it getting in my eyes. I was starting to panic from getting his blood all over me. I felt like the blood was running into my nose and my mouth, suffocating me. 

I picked up the pace and got close to our line. I shouted out the challenge word and when I heard the response I hustled in. I was limping pretty badly by this time. The battalion XO was with my company commander and made a quick decision to send two platoons out with some stretcher-bearers. They tried to get me to stay behind but I knew I could get them there faster and safer. I showed him on the map where they were and asked him to fire some mortar rounds in a hundred yard semicircle past their location. 

The Japs had backed off with the mortar fire and we were able to get in and get out fast. I helped one of the walking wounded back with his arm around my neck. We were able to bring all the dead back also.

Lt. Zimmerman lived and was out of the war. I wasn't so lucky. The bayonet went through the fleshy part of my calf. I bled a lot but there was no major damage. I got a month in Pearl and was back for the mop up of Guadalcanal. 

For what I had done I got a piece of ribbon and metal that got Bobbie killed in Nam. 

"I thought of all that worked dark pits
Of war, and died
Digging the rock where Death reputes
Peace lies indeed."

Wilfred Owen

~~~~~~

The next morning after the dream I felt out of sorts. Missy's death was expected but even so it was still a shock and a surprise. I guess I was feeling a little depressed, certainly down. 

Ada came back over that afternoon. I guess she would have just stayed at her grandmother's house but it was a tiny place with only one bedroom. It was okay for her to stay for a short time but it was in no way big enough after the baby was born. 

My office was in the basement. The house was on a hill, with the back on the downward slope, facing the morning sun. I had a large walkout sliding door so the room was very light. When I had remodeled it for the office I had also added a library – I had accumulated a huge number of books for research – and a good-sized bedroom with bath. The bath just had a shower but that was all I ever used anyway.

While Ada had been at Pearl's house I moved all my stuff downstairs. The room Ada had been using was pretty small and she had been using the upstairs guest bathroom. I thought this would give her more privacy.

When she got back I had put the small amount of clothes she had in our old bedroom and put all of Missy's stuff in bags. I thought about giving some of it to Ada but realized that Missy's stuff would be way too large for Ada.

I thought she would be really happy but when I told her when she walked in she looked upset. When I pointed out how much better it would work for the baby she blushed and stammered, " I... I thought it was about me leaving the bathroom door open. I swear that was an accident. I pushed the door closed but didn't notice it came back open a bit. 

I laughed and said, "No, this will make it much easier for me since I spend a lot of time down in the basement when I'm writing anyway. This will give you more privacy and I'm sure you will appreciate that."

She didn't say anymore so I guess it was okay. 

I wanted a dog for company and one that would be good for protection and if I was away and a dog that would be good around kids. A friend of mine from Portland was moving to England and wouldn't be able to take his four-year-old white boxer with him. The dog had been around kids his whole life so it should work out great. I asked Ada and she was excited about it. Her dad had always had two or three working dogs for his hunting of various types of fowl.

The dog's name was Sammy. When I talked to Ken, he said it was actually Samuel Adams but his wife refused to call him anything but Sammy. It was funny the way it worked out. I got the dog as a companion for me but within a day it was Ada's dog. I guess dogs are smarter than we think.

It was a strange interlude. It was in the middle of January and the rainy/snowy weather bleak and dark added to my depression. Ada was worn out and mostly slept on the sofa in the living room. It changed suddenly when her water broke. I've always been level headed and had gone through this a couple of times. The hospital was on 13th Street just above Jackson Park. My house was about two miles west of there so it was only a five-minute ride.

After we got her admitted and into a room I went in to see her. She was a surprisingly strong-will girl but she looked scared. 

"Are you okay, Ada? Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Mr. Chance... David... I don't know if I can do this. I thought I was okay. I guess – I mean that I thought - I hoped Missy would be here to help me. Mom is coming up but they won't get here until tomorrow. If I asked you to do something for me would you do it?"

I didn't have a clue what she was talking about. Making a joke out of it I told her, "Ada, it's okay with me if you name the baby after me. At least it's okay if it's a boy."

Looking cross at me, she replied, "No, don't be silly," she answered. "Besides, it's going to be a girl and her name is Silvia. What I want - what I need is for you to be with me when the baby is born. I'm afraid!" she finished as she started crying.

I was stunned! I hadn't even thought about that. I had no general problem with doing it. After all I had been with Missy for both of our kids' birth back when it wasn't done very often. Those had always been my most treasured memories. But for Ada?

"Ada, I'm honored that you ask me and if you need me... well, sure! But I have to ask, why me? Sometimes I think you fear me or are at least uncomfortable with me. Don't you have anyone else?"

"I know, David, and I'm sorry. I can't talk about it yet but I have some problems... with men! Someday I'll tell you about it but for now, could you help me please?" 

She was crying again and my heart melted. "Sure honey, I'm here." I whispered this as I took her hand.

It was a difficult delivery and took a long time, almost ten hours. The doctor was ready to do a C-section because Ada was so small but she preferred not to. I was doing the things I'd done before, calming her, talking soothingly and wiping her forehead with a damp cloth. It was a wonderful experience, one I thought I'd never experience again. The thought came to my mind as I watched Ada labor – maybe it was time to stop writing war novels and start writing love stories. Since Missy had died I hadn't felt like writing anyway.

Finally, the baby was delivered. Ada was right. It was a girl. The nurse handed her to me thinking I was the father and I held her looking at her as she struggled to open her eyes. At that moment I fell in love – a different kind of love than I had for Missy but just as deep. I cried thinking of the daughter I lost and knew I had a love for Silvia that would last and grow for the rest of my life.




The Seduction of Ada



I handed her to Ada and she started crying too. I was afraid to but I had to ask. "Ada, this might not be the time to ask but you are going to keep her, aren't you?"

Turning red and whispering furiously, "How dare you even ask that? This is my baby."

Grinning at her intensity, I replied, "You will let me love her a little, won't you?" I walked out to call her mom and Pearl. I knew my life had changed in an unexpected way and changed forever.

End of Part One. Part Two to follow in a couple of days.



The Seduction of Aisha



It was a warm summer afternoon and Aisha was out and about soliciting donations for the new mosque that was recently built in the area. She had immigrated to America from Bangladesh only a few months earlier to attend a local college and was eager to share her Muslim faith in the community.

Having led a very sheltered life, Aisha was a bit wary of Americans after all that she heard from her family, especially white males. She had heard that they were perverted and always looking to take advantage of young women. But during the time she had visited various neighborhoods, Aisha never encountered any racism or hatred...

As Aisha walked up to the last house on her list, she could see a small silver convertible sitting in the garage with its top down.

Aisha rang the door bell and got no answer. She hit the button again and was just about to walk away as the door slowly opened. A white man wearing shorts and a form fitting t-shirt emerged from inside and smiled softly.

"May I help you?" he asked.

Aisha couldn't help but notice how attractive he was. 

"Hi, my name is Aisha and I'm in your neighborhood letting people know about our new mosque that was just built down the road. We're asking for donations as well as inviting people to come worship with us."

The man looked up and down Aisha's body and seemed to be paying more attention to her burqa then what she was saying about the new mosque.

"Why don't you come inside where it's nice and cool Miss Aisha? My name is Michael by the way."

Aisha hesitated for a moment, since she was warned not to enter anyone's house while soliciting donations. But this man seemed gentle and innocent enough, so she slowly walked into the house.

The decor inside was mild and understated as Aisha glanced around the cozy living room. 

Michael went into the kitchen and began to pour 2 glasses of cold water. He returned and handed one to Aisha as he continued to stare at the burqa.

"So what exactly are you selling anyway?" Michael inquired. 

"There is a new mosque in the area and our members are trying to raise money for a separate children's center."

"I see. So were you born and raised as a Muslim Aisha?"

"Yes, I come from a very strict religious family back in Bangladesh."

"Well, good morals are important I always say."

Michael then asked "Would you like a tour of the house? I need to go upstairs anyway to get my checkbook, so I thought I'd show you the rest of my place." 

Aisha felt uneasy about the idea of going upstairs in this strange man's house, but he seemed nice enough and he was about to make a donation so she acquiesced.

"Sure, why not."

As they walked up the stairs, Aisha noticed pictures along the wall of Michael and his son, and it made her feel a bit more comfortable since he appeared to be the doting father of a beautiful little boy. They continued their brief tour and then walked into the master bedroom. 

Aisha looked around, admiring the large walk in closet, full of contemporary clothes that were meticulously organized. She thought it a bit odd that he was wearing clothes more suitable for teenager than a middle aged man. But then again, he was rather young and fit looking, so she didn't pay it any mind.

Aisha took a quick glance in the bathroom and just as she walked back into the bedroom, Michael closed the door and locked it behind him. 

"What are you doing?" Aisha exclaimed, sensing something sinister was going on.

Michael slowly walked towards her, looking at her body like a hungry animal.

"Did you really think I was going to give you a donation?"

Aisha began to move away from Michael and was soon backed into the corner.

"Let me go!" 

Michael moved closer and soon was a mere inches away from Aisha as she began to push him back.

Michael grabbed both of her arms and pushed back against the wall.

"There's no need to be scared, I'm not going to hurt you", he whispered.

Michael's hands slowly released their grip as Aisha squirmed underneath him.

"Why won't you let me go? What do you want from me?" 

Michael ignored the question and began to touch Aisha's face, admiring its softness and warmth. 

She pulled back and attempted to push his hands away. 

Michael continued and soon his hands were cupping her firm young breasts. 

Aisha resisted and broke free briefly and ran to the bedroom door. 

She struggled to unlock it and just as she opened it, Michael was behind her and closed it abruptly. He grabbed her arm and threw her on the bed. 

Aisha began to sit up and was about to stand, when Michael positioned himself in front of her, standing above her. 

He began to take off his clothes and Aisha yelled "what the hell are you doing?!"

She tried to stand up, but Michael pushed her back down on the bed. As she struggled to move off the bed, Aisha noticed that Michael was now naked and his penis was standing erect. It was the first time she had seen one up close and in person, and now that she was face to face with a man's private parts, it left her paralyzed... 

Aisha looked up at Michael, pleading with him "Please let me leave."

"Not before you give me what I want" Michael said sternly. 

His words left Aisha stunned and a sense of dread quickly came over her.

"What are you going to do to me?"

Michael slowly moved in closer and stood over her with his throbbing cock just inches from her face. 

Aisha looked at the strange fleshy rod that protruded from his legs. It was pink and had a mushroom shaped head, with a small hole that was leaking fluid. She noticed below his penis were 2 swollen balls in their sack, dangling underneath. 

Aisha's mind went back to science class as a child and remembered that the sperm was stored in a man's balls, making her even more nervous as the thought of being impregnated by this strange man filled her imagination. 

Aisha looked at Michael and said meekly "No man has ever touched me before, I'm still a virgin." 

He knelt down in front of her and said in a firm voice "you have no choice." 

Soon Michael was moving his hard shaft towards her mouth and Aisha turned her head to avoid touching it. Michael put his hand on her head to hold her still and pushed his cock against her lips. 

Aisha closed her lips, holding her breath as she tried her best not to let his cock enter her mouth. But she soon ran out of breath and as she opened her mouth, Michael quickly pushed his cock inside. The warm flesh filled Aisha's small mouth, making her gag as she tried to pull away.

Michael knelt down on the floor and gently held Aisha's face in his hands, looking tenderly into her eyes.

"My sweet Aisha, today you will become a woman, and I will be your teacher."

She was left paralyzed by his tenderness and the burning sensation deep in her loins that he created. 

Michael stood back up and this time Aisha gently touched his penis, stroking it like a new pet. She admired the warmth and firmness emanating from the shaft as it began to throb in her hand. 

Aisha slowly took it in her mouth, inch by inch, then softly kissed the spongy cock head. She moved her other hand to Michael's nut sack and fondled them as she looked up at him while she sat on the edge of the bed. Aisha soon felt a sense of pride as she realized how much this strange man was enjoying her mouth. 

Michael then put both his hands on the back of her head and began to slide his cock in and out of Aisha's mouth as her hands instinctively fell to her side.

As Michael's swollen cock continued to explore Aisha's virgin mouth, her silk hijab kept slipping down from her head. Michael pulled it up gently, more out of his desire to maintain this taboo fantasy than to allow Aisha a measure of dignity. After a few minutes of discomfort, she began to relax and soon was able to take most of it deep into her throat.

Michael moaned with pleasure as she sucked eagerly like a hungry baby in need of milk. She felt a strange sensation between her legs as she continued to devour Michael's cock. Her pussy was becoming wet and her mind was spinning as the situation grew more out of control. Michael's cock began to twitch as he was nearing his climax, with Aisha beginning to deep throat him furiously. 

With his cock firmly planted all the way in Aisha's mouth, Michael groaned loudly as he felt a powerful orgasm overtake him. 

"You're gonna make me cum!"

Aisha could feel the cock swell in her mouth and before she knew what was happening, thick streams of hot cum flooded her throat. 

She tried to pull away, but Michael held her in place and emptied his balls completely in her mouth. Aisha had no choice but to swallow his thick load, and after gagging at first was able to take all of his juices down into her belly.

She looked up at Michael, his face flushed with pleasure then proceeded to wipe the remaining sperm off her lips and chin.

Michael regained his senses then looked down at Aisha "Thank you for a perfect blowjob."

Aisha assumed that he was done with her and tried to get off the bed, but Michael grabbed her arm and pulled at her burqa.

"I'm not done with you little girl."

Aisha protested, saying "No man is allowed to see me naked, except my future husband."

Michael paid her no mind as he smiled and began to slowly remove her burqa.

"You don't have any choice Aisha, I'm going to do with you whatever I want." 

Aisha tried to resist, but was not strong enough to prevent him from removing the garment. She stood before Michael with only her bra and panties on, nervous and strangely excited about what he planned to do next. 

Michael started to remove the clasp from the bra, and Aisha tried to move away in an attempt to retain what was left of her dignity. Michael pushed her onto the bed and held her down then removed the bra and panties. 

Aisha yelled and kicked as her clothing was taken from her. 

"Take your hands off me!"

Michael positioned himself on top of her and started to kiss around her neck and face, taking his time as he explored this new flesh. 

Aisha continued to protest, but soon realized that Michael wasn't going to be denied. She lay there and watched as this strange man gently kissed her breasts and touched her belly softly like a child. It produced feelings of lust inside her for the first time and there was nothing to compare it to. Her body felt like it was on fire, as Michael's lips and tongue caressed every inch of her delicate frame. 

He nibbled on her erect nipples and flicked his tongue back and forth, causing her to moan with pleasure. 

It seemed like an eternity as this stranger's hands and mouth explored Aisha's tender flesh, when suddenly she felt her legs being spread open. 

"Please stop, I have to save myself for marriage."

She resisted at first out of instinct, but soon gave in to her desires and granted Michael access to her burning loins. He was gentle and paid attention to every inch of her pussy as his tongue tasted the juices that flowed from her sweet love hole. 

Aisha squirmed on the sheets as waves of pleasure washed over her like a summer rainstorm. Michael began rhythmically licking and sucking at her swollen clitoris and after a few minutes of this erotic tempo, Aisha's body began to shudder and suddenly she experienced her first orgasm. 

"Oh Allah, I'm going to..."

She moaned and writhed on the bed as every fiber in her being quivered and convulsed with pleasure.

After a few moments Aisha composed herself and noticed Michael kneeling on the bed before her with his cock now fully erect again.

Aisha had heard her friends talk about sex when she lived in Bangladesh and had seen a few erotic photos online, but now that it was happening she was overwhelmed with fear and a guilty sense of excitement. 

Michael lowered himself down upon Aisha and began to kiss her gently on the lips and face. His stiff cock rubbed back and forth against her wet slit as her body instinctively moved in rhythm with his. 

Aisha whispered "You shouldn't do this, I'm still a virgin" as the spongy cock head poked against the opening of her vagina. 

Michael continued to massage her clitoris as her juices lubricated his manhood.

"Would you like me to stop Aisha?" Michael asked half heartedly.

"I'm supposed to remain a virgin until I get married. What will my husband say if he finds out a white man took my cherry?" 

Michael resumed stroking his swollen member against her moist pussy lips, massaging her clitoris slowly as he would stop for just a second to gaze into Aisha's warm brown eyes. 

"I certainly wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do." 

Aisha did not say anything but moaned softly as her body betrayed her better judgment. Instead of pushing Michael away, she gently grabbed his pulsing cock and guided it to the opening of her wet slit and slowly rubbed it against her lips.

Michael looked down at Aisha then kissed her softly and whispered "I need to be inside you." 

Aisha stared into Michael's eyes and slowly pulled his throbbing cock into her dripping hole. 

He kissed her gently as his member broke through the thin hymen, causing Aisha to whimper as a sharp pain coarsed through her body. Michael stopped moving and began to kiss her neck and face, in an attempt to soothe her frayed nerves and body. 

Aisha soon relaxed and Michael continued sliding more of his hard cock inside her tight hole. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him passionately as her body adjusted to the invading flesh inside her. 

Just as Aisha was becoming used to this new sensation, Michael pulled out of her and flipped on her onto her stomach. He smacked her plump ass cheeks and then propped up her legs so that Aisha was on all fours. 

Aisha turned around to look at Michael, unsure and scared of what he was about to do next. 

He slowly pushed his hard cock into her wet hole and began to stroke it gently. Within minutes Michael increased his pace and soon was pounding Aisha's tiny pussy with reckless abandon. He smacked her ass cheeks over and over as she squealed with delight, taking every inch of his manhood deep in her womb. 

Sensing that she was losing her breath, Michael slowed down and lay back on the bed. He pulled Aisha on top of him and kissed her passionately, rubbing his member against her dripping snatch. She sat down on the stiff cock and began to slowly ride him up and down to a steady rhythm. Michael reached up to kiss her ripe young breasts, sucking them furiously as he gripped her firm ass cheeks while she bounced up and down. 

Soon Aisha began to feel another orgasm building and increased her pace on the cock impaling her below. Michael bucked his hips against hers in an attempt to intensify the sensation and suddenly Aisha cried out in ecstasy and the orgasm hit her like a tidal wave. She gripped Michael's shoulders and held him tight as the feeling slowly subsided. 

They lay still on the bed drenched in sweat and breathing heavily, the only sound being the low hum of the ceiling fan above them.

Moments later Michael walked into the bathroom and came back out with a small container in his hand.

Aisha slowly rose up on her elbows to get a better look at the tube in Michael's hand.

"And just what is that?"

"I'll be using this to fuck your ass."

Her heart dropped as the words sank into her consciousness. 

Michael poured a small amount of flavored lubricant in his hand then began to rub Aisha's ass cheeks gently as she slowly turned over to offer him easier access to her bottom.

"You can't do such a thing, it's forbidden in our religion."

Michael smiled and whispered sarcastically "it's ok, I'm not a Muslim." 

Aisha met his eyes and could not bring herself to say no to this man's advances. 

Michael continued to massage her round globes of flesh and then slipped a finger into Aisha's asshole.

She moaned and flinched as Michael slowly stroked her virgin hole. Aisha soon relaxed and began to give in to the overwhelming feeling of lust permeating through her flesh. 

Just as Aisha became accustomed to having a finger probe her tender ass, Michael pulled her to the edge of the bed and turned her over. He positioned himself on top of Aisha with his cock resting between her plump ass cheeks. It slid back and forth in the crack, as Aisha moaned beneath Michael. 

"Please be gentle" Aisha whimpered. 

Soon the bulbous cock head began to poke at the entrance of Aisha's asshole and she squirmed beneath Michael, trying to get away. He held her hips steady and slowly pushed his hard cock into her virgin ass. 

She let out a muffled cry as the head penetrated the opening to her ass and slowly swallowed up an inch of his shaft. 

Michael pulled Aisha up and soon she was on all fours with her plump ass spread wide, almost inviting his cock to invade her. He continued to push more of his stiff meat into her ass and within moments had buried himself deep in her bowels. 

Michael slowed down his pace, admiring such an erotic sight, this innocent young girl naked on the bed being fucked in the ass by a strange white man. Michael stroked his cock back and forth, going as deep as he could inside Aisha's tight hole, savoring every inch of her virgin ass. 

Aisha began to claw at the bedsheets as she took his throbbing meat balls deep. Michael sensed her discomfort and turned her on her side. He placed his cock head at the entrance to her asshole and their eyes met as it slowly entered. Michael softly kissed her and began to rub her clitoris, maintaining a steady rhythm of long strokes in her tight ass.

Michael began to aggressively spank Aisha's plump ass cheeks as his cock thoroughly reamed out her tender hole.

"Just look at you Aisha, you dirty little Muslim slut. Taking a white man's big cock deep in your virgin ass."

Hearing those words confirmed what Aisha had been feeling since Michael first touched her earlier. And now she was determined to make him cum whether he was ready to or not.

"You must feel pretty good about yourself, taking an innocent Muslim girl's virginity huh? All you are is a dirty old man who wants to defile young girls tight holes and fill them with cum."

Aisha shocked herself as the vulgar words spewed out of her wanton mouth.

"So then empty your balls inside me. I want you to cum inside my ass. Give me your cum Michael" Aisha teased.

Her words sent Michael over the edge and it wasn't long before he felt a familiar tingling in his aching balls. With one final thrust of his stiff cock going balls deep, he exploded inside her virgin asshole. Michael let out a groan and gripped Aisha's ass cheeks firmly as his cock spasmed repeatedly, squirting hot cum deep within her bowels.

Aisha remained still, milking every drop of his sticky seed in her dirty little hole. She moaned softly as the cock suddenly popped out of her sore asshole, leaving it agape and leaking warm juices down her ass cheek.

Michael then fell back off her and lay on the bed, gasping for breath.

Aisha turned over to stare at the ceiling, ashamed for letting this strange white man violate all of her sacred holes and yet proud of herself for pleasing him in the most intimate way. 

Michael regained his composure and turned to face Aisha as she pulled the covers over her naked flesh. "Thank you Aisha" he said, then smiled as he planted kisses all over her face. 

They held each other close, lost in the moment and enjoyed the afterglow of an unexpectedly erotic afternoon... 



The Seduction of Alex



I had the perfect life admired by all of my female friends. I had a very attractive husband who gave me everything, two sons who adored me and the perfect job. A very normal life to the outside world, but I wondered how all of my friends would have reacted if they knew the truth.

I stood in my dining room admiring the view. My beautiful husband Alex and our equally handsome twin boys Aaron and Ian were sitting around the table eating dinner and talking. "Dad why is mom staring at us like that," asked Aaron. Alex looked up and smiled, because he knew I was thinking about how we got together nearly 20 years ago.....

Alex and I were your typical siblings growing up fighting over the bathroom and competing in sports. But we were closer than most because Alex was my twin. We were born 18 years ago, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. We shared a link that started in the womb. Mom even showed us an ultrasound picture of us holding hands. No wonder why we shared a closeness that neither one of us could explain.

Despite our bond, Alex and I argued a lot. Alex yelled at me for taking long showers, and I yelled at him for leaving the toilet seat up. And talk about being competitive, if Alex scored 15 points in a basketball game then I had to score 16. Our desire to upstage each other usually led to high scoring games and several championships.

However, most of our arguments at home ended on the floor engaged in a tickle fight, with me on the bottom pinned under Alex's strong muscular legs. He was relentless in his torture until I told him he was king. Not that Alex knew this at the time, but I always let him pin me. I enjoyed the heat of Alex's body pressed up against mine, and I wanted to experience it as much as possible.

And of course he had to be born first. Alex was five minutes older than me, and he never let me forget it. He always pulled the older brother routine on me. It didn't work but "I am older so you have to listen to me," is what I heard constantly. It would annoy me to no end and Alex knew it, leading to more arguments and more tickle fights. Alex would never admit to it, but I knew he enjoyed those tickle fights as much as I did.

During our senior year in high school things changed for Alex and me. I came into my own as a women and it was the first time in our 18 years

that Alex became aware I wasn't his twerpy little sister anymore. (Geez give a guy a five minute head start and you never live it down.)

I had finally developed and what God gave me turned a lot of heads. I had almost black hair, hazel eyes and my 36c boobs sat nicely on my athletic 125 lb. frame. I was shorter than Alex's 6'2 frame but at 5'9, I held my own very nicely. At that time, I had a few boyfriends but nothing to serious because all the guys knew I was Alex's sister, so they were careful not to step over any boundaries.

God the kind of pissed me off, they should have worried more about me kicking their asses then Alex. However, I didn't make a big deal out of it, because I was saving myself for the man that I loved. In my wildest dreams I never imagined it would be Alex.

Alex would bring his friends over and they would flirt with me. One time I even heard his buddies tell him how hot they thought I was and he said, "Dudes your getting close to stepping over the line. You are not talking about any normal girl, Zoey is my sister." I am not sure if it made him feel more protective or proud of me.

Anyway, after that I noticed Alex would stare at me more, especially when I wore only a t-shirt and panties. I didn't mind because I had a secret crush on Alex ever since I walked in on him taking a shower when we were in the tenth grade.

Alex never knew I was there, but boy did I notice him. He was 5'10 at the time and had a well toned body. I examined my brother throughly starting at his chestnut brown hair. It clung to his face as the water drenched his head. I noticed every muscle glistened as the water cascaded off of his body.

His pectoral muscles danced as he raised the washcloth and washed his nipples. I noticed the soap sliding down his back reaching his tight ass as he continued to groom himself. Alex dropped the soap, and my eyes widened as I saw his clean shavened balls peering between his thighs as he reached for the soap.

My heart began to beat faster, and I couldn't believe I was in awe of my own brother. The perfect male specimen right under my nose, and I never really noticed until that moment. My body began to react. I tried to stop it, after all Alex was my brother, but my body didn't care. 

My nipples began to harden, and my bra felt as though it was two sizes too small. All I wanted was to rip off my clothes and join Alex in the shower, but my mind still has some semblance of control, and I stood my ground. I knew I shouldn't have been looking, but I couldn't tare my eyes away from his stone chiseled form. Then next thing I saw sent my aching body into a tale spin.

My eyes dropped to the organ protruding between his legs. I almost orgasmed right there and then. My legs went weak, and my mind loss all rational thought. I could feel the juices gather at the heart of my womanhood, and my hand slowly made it's way to my throbbing mound.

Alex had the most beautiful cock I had ever seen. All I wanted to do was to reach out and touch it. His pulsating rod had a large mushroom shaped head that was beginning to turn red with each stroke of Alex's hand. It was long and thick, and I wondered if my small hand could reach around it.

The longer I stood there watching Alex the more I yearned to have his hands on my young body. It took me a moment, but I finally realized Alex was not only showering but masturbating. He was using the soap to stimulate his cock. My eyes followed as his hand made it's way up and down his shaft. As I watched the scene unfold before me, my fingers matched Alex's movements perfectly going in and out of my dripping pussy.

Alex began moaning, and I had to bite my lower lip to stop myself from crying out. "Yes baby don't stop, keep your mouth on my cock," I heard Alex say. He began to pump his cock faster and his breathing was getting heavier, so I knew he was getting closer to the climactic end of his journey. Alex let out a painful sounding squeal and began squirting his jism against the shower wall.

I was amazed at the amount of cum Alex shot out of that big beautiful cock, and I let out a gasp. Alex looked up. I was already out in the hallway when I heard him ask if anyone was there. All I could think about was release, and I quickly ran to my bedroom to finish what my fingers started in the bathroom.

I imagined that it was my hand wrapped around Alex's hot stick, and it was my mouth that Alex wanted to stay on his cock. That night I had one of the most intense orgasms I had ever experienced. Now when I masturbate, I picture Alex's swollen member covered in soap spewing his white creamy nectar against the shower wall.

From that point on, I did everything I could to brush up against Alex accidentally or sit next to him while watching t.v. Being a typical male, Alex just thought I was being an annoying sister. He didn't even notice that I was initiating more tickle fights than usual just to be pinned underneath him.

So, when Alex started to realize that I wasn't that tomboyish sister anymore, I was thrilled. His visual inspections became more intensified, but I never showed my enthusiasm towards them. However, I loved how he turned all shades of red when I caught him staring. That enticed me into wearing shorter and shorter t-shirts.

I continued to flirt with my brother for the remainder of our senior year. At school we acted like normal siblings cutting on eachother and trying to upstage each other, but at home it was a different story. I kept wearing short t-shirts and Alex kept looking. And my hunger for him kept growing as well.

After a while, I noticed he stopped getting embarrassed when I caught him staring. His reddened face was replaced by a devilish grin and I often wondered what was going on in that evil mind of his. Then I noticed that I was the one getting embarrassed. I wondered if Alex had figured out that I had more than sisterly feelings for him or if he was realizing his own.

In fact I was starting to wonder if my feelings had gone beyond lust and developed into something more. I started to examine my past relationships and realized that I compared all the guys I ever dated to Alex. "He's not as good at basketball as Alex , his eyes don't sparkle like Alex's when he gets excited, he isn't as tall as Alex or as good looking," Oh my god, my body started to tremble, No it couldn't be. Could I have fallen in love with my twin?

I had to be sure. I had to find out if Alex felt the same way. I formulated a plan, but I had to wait for the right moment to implement it. And the opportunity presented itself on the day Alex and I were to graduate from high school. Mom and dad had left to pick up some last minute things for our graduation party, so that left Alex and I alone in the house.

Alex was yelling at me as usual to hurry up in the shower. He threatened that he was coming in whether or not I was finished. I told him he didn't have the balls to walk in on me. Well Alex certainly proved me wrong. The door burst open and at that moment I was stepping out of the shower. Alex froze with his hands still on the door knob as our eyes locked.

My body wasn't listening to my brain, and I just stood there staring at Alex. Then I realized his eyes weren't filled with lust like I had hoped, but with anger. And before I knew it, Alex was lunging at me and with one hand grabbing my waist and the other my arm. As my left foot hit the bathroom floor, I found my body being lifted and flung over Alex's shoulder. He didn't seem to care that I was dripping water everywhere, and headed towards my bedroom.

Alex tossed me on my bed and stood over me like a wolf sizing up his prey. I had never seen Alex so angry before. His eyes were the most emerald green I had ever seen with amber flames surrounding his pupils. I was beginning to get scared, and turned on at the same time. 

I could feel my nipples getting hard, and I made no attempt to cover them up. I just laid there mesmerized at the shear maleness of Alex. The vein in his neck was bulging as he clenched his jaw. His breathing was heavy and all the muscles in his chest were tight. He began to pace the floor like a caged animal. It was an intoxicating site.

My body started to shake as Alex began to yell at me. "Zoey what the hell were you doing in there. You know I have to get ready for graduation too. Why the hell do you have to push my buttons all the time. Mom and dad will kill me if we are late for graduation. You can be so childish. Sometimes you make me want to punch a wall. What am I going to do with you"

Then I noticed a change came over Alex. It was as though a light bulb went off in his head, and he finally realized that his hot sister was lying naked on her bed. His eyes softened, lost there anger and changed into something else. Alex was no longer seeing me through the eyes of an angry brother. He was looking at me through the eyes of man seeing a beautiful women for the first time. 

Alex closed the distance between us, and leaned down to cover my lips with his. I felt a jolt of electricity that started at the point of contact and ended at my pussy. Alex's lips were warm yet strong. My lips parted and Alex's tongue entered my mouth. Our sibling rivalry kicked in and we fought for control as our tongues intertwined in a passionate embrace. I could feel my juices dripping down my thigh. I never wanted this feeling to end. Alex broke the kiss and looked into my eyes.

It was as time stopped and everything else around us just faded away. It was only Alex and I and that one single moment. However, I was the first to break the powerful stare to look at my alarm clock. Alex turned and began to pace. I knew he was struggling, but I wasn't sure how to comfort him. The time read 11:15, only 45 minutes until we had to be at graduation. It was time to take action.

I looked down at Alex's jeans and noticed the increasing large bulge protruding towards me. I couldn't help but smile, and motioned Alex to come closer. I knew that time was ticking, so I decided to suck him off. I've only done it a few times, so I was a little nervous. My pulse increased and my mouth began to water. I swallowed my fear, and despite my lack of experience, I plowed ahead.

My very hot twin brother was about to become more than my mere sibling, but my sex toy. It took an eternity for him to reach me, and while staring into his sparkling emerald eyes, I unbuttoned his jeans. I slid my hand underneath his boxers and got the answer to the question that burned in my mind. My small hand did fit around his erect cock. 

Alex knew what I wanted and removed his jeans. An amazing smile came across his face, and I knew he wanted it as much as I did. I pulled his boxers over his erection, and his penis sprung out happy to have been set free from its cloth cell.

I couldn't help but stare at the rod of steel looking back at me. It was much more beautiful up close. The huge mushroomed shaped head was purple and my tounge snaked out to lick the drop of pre-cum oozing from the slit.

Alex took in a breathe with the contact and I knew he was mine. I engulfed his cock in one motion, and Alex began to noticeably shake. I looked up into his eyes as his monstrous cock slipped in and out of my warm wet lips.

With one hand I began messaging his ball sac, and I grabbed his throbbing organ with the other. Lips and hands working in perfect harmony in a sensual dance. "Wow,"Alex thought and placed his hand on my head. He wanted to make sure this amazing feeling would not be taken away from him. And at that point I knew my assault would be getting it's desired result soon.

With my mouth overflowing with desire, the only thing I could hear was the pounding of my own heart. I wanted my stud of a brother to cum in my mouth so badly. I wanted him to shoot his sweet juices into the back of my throat. I could hear the words screaming in my head, "cum Alex cum."

I looked up at Alex, and he was looking down with so much love in his eyes. The kind of love that a man feels for the woman that he can no longer live without. I also saw Alex's internal struggle, because his head was telling him this was wrong. It was ok because I knew it would take some time for him to realize what I did not long ago. That he was in love with his twin.

Back to the task at hand. Never breaking eye contact, I continued sucking on my twin brother's cock. I could feel his rod become even harder and his balls tighten under my grip. Alex began shooting his cum into my willing mouth. I was ready to accept his gift and kept sucking until every last drop was given.

As Alex's breathing returned to normal, he lifted me off the bed and kissed me. The ache between my legs was unbearable, but I knew I would have to wait for my rewards. It was all about Alex this time. I couldn't get enough air into my lungs as Alex explored my mouth with his tongue. I wanted him to take me then and there but I knew that time had escaped us.

After we separated from what I considered one of the most mind blowing kisses, I have ever experienced, Alex began to speak. I placed my finger on his lips saying, "Later we have no time." Alex just smiled that brilliant smile that only he could, and I knew our relationship was never going to be the same. I wasn't completely convinced it wasn't brotherly love that I seen in his eyes, but I knew he looked at me differently now. I knew that one day very soon he would be mine completely.

Our graduation ceremony went off without a hitch, no one ever the wiser about what transpired between Alex and I. I could feel Alex's stare as the ceremony went on, but I didn't look at him. I could feel his gaze when we got our diplomas, yet I didn't reciprocate. I knew his eyes fell upon me when we were congratulated by our fellow classmates and family after the ceremony as well, but still our eyes never met. 

I am not sure it was curiosity or shock about what happened, but I knew he wanted more. I noticed when Alex got noticeable agitated when one of his best friends, grabbed my ass when giving me a congratulatory hug. I saw his shake his head when realized what he had felt. I actually laughed to myself. "Zoey he's coming around. Just a little more of a push, " I thought to myself.

I needed to make sure Alex realized it wasn't a momentary lapse in his judgment but an act of love. An unexplainable desire a man has for the woman he loves. The instinct within him to claim what is his, and knowing he had the right to feel that way. Our connection was already strong as twins, now it has to become stronger as a man and a women.

The ride home from the ceremony was uneventful and silent. I think Alex may have thought that I would freak out if he'd said anything. His eyes never left the road. Little did he know that it was just phase one of my seduction of him.

I could tell his mind was not only on the road, but deep in thought. You see Alex had this habit of biting his lower lip when he was really concentrating on something. And let's put it this way if he bit his lip any more he would have a hole the size of a quarter in it. I couldn't help but laugh to myself as we pulled into our driveway.

Since we lived in southern California, and the day was a balmy 85 degrees, my parents set up everything for our party in the back yard next to the pool. "Bikini time is seduction time, I thought with a devilish grin on my face. Alex is not going to know what hit him."

I could hear the door bell ring countless times as our friends descended upon our house. I could already hear the laughter coming up to my bedroom window as I tied my bikini top around my neck. I even heard one of Alex's friends ask him where his hot sister was, and he said being fashionable late as usual and to stop calling her hot. I knew it was time to make an entrance.

I opened the sliding glass doors and walked outside, looking around to locate my brother. As soon as Alex met my gaze, I smiled. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, and so did many of the other guys at our party. Alex noticed that as well. Boy did he notice because he reached up and smacked his best friend Jake in the back of the head for staring to long.

I didn't know what the problem was because I was just wearing a black and red thong bikini that showed off all my curves in just the right places. A little number I picked up just for Alex, but he didn't know that. You see my brother had an affection for things black and red, and I knew this would grab his attention.

Alex couldn't look away. The colors complimented my tanned skin tone as well. I know you could see the roundness of my breast peeking out of the triangular piece of cloth barely covering them. The bottom completely covering my mound, but leaving a hint of it's shape as well. The best part of all is that Alex knew that I was completely shaved bald like the day we were born.

Alex finally had to look away, and I watched as gulped the entire water bottle he held in his hand. I thought, "Zoey you are getting to him. Keep it up." That is when Jake came up to me, and planted a kiss on me that I wasn't expecting. His lips not as hot and soft as Alex's but wow could that boy kiss.

I couldn't help but respond. I have always had a little crush on Jake, and

his timing couldn't have been more perfect. When I opened my eyes after what seemed to be several long minutes, Alex was staring with his hand balled up into fists at his sides.

Alex began to walk towards us and I knew I had him. I stood between Alex and Jake and I could see the rage in his eyes. Alex lifted his arm to punch Jake as I told him to look at me. When our eyes met, he knew to calm down. Even before I realized I was in love with Alex, I had a way of calming him down with just one look when he was angry. (As long as the anger wasn't directed at me of course).