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The Punchline Ch. 01

By: 3raser



"In his defense... his mother was hot."

The comedy club erupts in laughter, the people in a nice, relaxed mood. Most of them are completely drunk out of their minds and the ones who are not are still so desperate to fit in that they laugh anyway, even if they didn't find my joke that funny. It's almost sad in a way, but hey, when I get laughs, I get paid. That's how it works.

My name is Grayson Harper. I'm twenty-three. I'm white. I thought I'd get that out of the way. And to answer the question that I know you didn't really ask, but yes I did go to college and I got a Bachelor's in the English language.

I'm not a... terribly bad looking guy. I've got black hair, stubble, fair skin, and a lean build. I won't go so far to call myself athletic, but I'm lean. Kind of soft. But yeah. Other people say that I have boyish good looks but I just want to strangle those people because a man who has many, many insecurities doesn't exactly like to be called 'boyish'.

I might as well go through some background. I grew up in a pretty nice household. Although there was a good amount of fighting going around, everyone loved each other and it was all in good fun. I'm an only child, with a mother and father who love me very much and are very supportive. I can be thankful for that at least.

I was a good kid. Very good, in fact. Never once got into trouble, never once got a detention, the principal at my old school barely knew me, because I never had to get sent to her office. I watched kids all around me fall into drugs and alcohol and being douchebags in general but I was just a nerdy kid who liked comic books and video games.

And to not bore you with a whole biography... well... I'm a stand up comedian. Just started out about three months ago, I found that this club was looking for a regular act and a few others were looking for unknowns so I've been working as one for a while. Used to write novels, still do in my off time, but I find that comedy was more to my liking.

Anyway, at the height of the laughter, as any comedian would do, I told them that they'd been great tonight and I got a round of applause as I stepped off stage. I walked into the back where another act was preparing and there was the owner with my week's pay in his hand.

My boss was a good guy. He wasn't some crazy card that everyone knew, he was just a regular guy who loved comedy and, at one point in his life, was a stand up comedian. Quite well known, in fact. He's also a friend of mine. His name is Anthony Williams, but I just called him Tony, which he hated in a friendly kind of way. Cause Tony's usually an Italian name and he's an African American and... not... not Italian and-okay you guys get the point.

"Hey Grayson, that was a great show tonight. Noticed you pulled a few new jokes out," He handed me an envelope and I nodded, putting it in my coat pocket as I grabbed it from the rack.

"Yeah, I try to mix up the act from time to time. Like every night. Maybe if you watched them, you'd know that," He chuckled and I put my coat on.

He pat me on the back as I walked away. "There's only so many times that I can hear the women being killed in media joke."

I responded by throwing up my middle finger, causing him to burst out laughing. I was known as that guy, really. The guy who could always make his friends laugh. I didn't always try to, but they always laughed.

I walked out into the club where I got a few words of encouragement and some congratulations from the people who particularly liked the show. I humored them as I went along and made my way out of the back door of the club, standing in an open parking lot. It was cool this night. Felt like it was going to rain any minute.

And I saw my car parked not twenty feet away from me. I reached into my pocket to grab my keys when I felt an absence of them. Shit... I fucking left them inside again... god fucking dammit.

Sighing, I turned to my left and walked back through the back entrance, going into backstage where I got my keys and walked out the front door, much to my chagrin yet again. Tonight was not my night, basically.

I turned to my right and immediately right again into an alleyway, where I just walked right through it, breathing in the cool night air and actually enjoying it. Felt fresh.

"Hey... mister? Could you spare a few dollars? Change, maybe?"

I nearly jumped out of my shoes as the feminine voice came from out of nowhere, closing my eyes and grabbing my chest, as if I was going to have a heart attack. Breathing in slowly, I turned to where I thought the voice was coming from. There, I saw a woman with long black, slightly dirty hair and baggy clothes, sitting near a box with some blankets laid out next to it.

I nodded and reached into my pocket, where I grabbed my wallet. But something occurred to me. The voice was... very feminine and familiar. Almost... nostalgic. I looked back at her and slightly moved my head in close, looking to see if it really was who I thought.

"C-Callie?" I sputtered out and the girl, obviously embarrassed, turned her head away from me.

Callie was a girl I went to highschool with. She was a very cute girl who was an A+ student and kind of quiet. Everyone expected her to become a successful businesswoman and was voted most likely to succeed when we graduated. I never talked to her because even she was out of my league at that point and she never talked to me either.

"Jesus Christ, Callie? Is that actually you?" I asked, moving forward. She almost seemed to recoil.

"Could you sound a little less indignant? Yeah, yeah it's me. Who-" She looked up at my face and squinted, but recognition lit it up. "Oh. Grayson?"

She knew my name? I didn't... wow. I didn't think anyone in highschool would recognize me, let alone recall my name. But despite the small shock, I nodded.

"Shit, I... uh..." She didn't know what to say. It was hard to see her face in the dark light and with her hair covering it, but I think she blushed.

"Uh..."

We both stayed in our respective places more a period of five seconds. It was incredibly awkward. Both of us did not know what to do. I mean, it's not every day you meet a former classmate who is now homeless. 

But feeling like it was weird that I was standing over her as if I was better than her, I dropped down to both of my knees, knowing that sitting on my haunches would tire me out and I didn't want to seem like an unfit asshole.

"Callie... I... wow. I don't know what to say, just..."

Callie sighed slightly. "Then don't. Just walk away."

I shook my head and moved down to sit across from her, looking at her face with a slightly crooked neck. She was dirty. Not incredibly so, but dirty enough to tell that she hadn't showered in a little while. You couldn't really smell it though, which is odd, since she... kinda smelled like fruit. I guess it was a perfume of some sort or... something.

"What are you... doing here?" I asked tentatively.

"What do you think?" She responded, almost coldly, as if she's been in this situation far too many times beforehand.

I didn't know what to say. "I... I don't... Callie, I'm uh... I'm just surprised. Are you okay?"

Callie kind of winced at the question, as if no one had ever asked her that. She stayed silent for a few moments before shaking her head.

"I got kicked out of my house after graduation because of... a falling out. Been like this ever since."

I shook my head in disbelief slightly. "Don't you have friends to stay with? You had plenty of friends back in highschool?"

She gave a slight 'tch' sound. "Turns out those friends weren't as friendly as I thought. So no. I've been... stuck here."

I rubbed my forehead and looked at her. "Well... then..."

"Then what?"

I don't know what possessed me to say what I said next but I offered something... weird. "Then I have an empty couch that you could sleep on if you want. Plenty of space. At least until... you get back on your feet."

It's true. I had a small house in a neighborhood nearby It had a pretty big bedroom, a living room, an office, a kitchen, a living room, two bathrooms, a garage, and a nice backyard. Plenty of space for two people.

Her eyes widened in response. I could tell that she was in a similar type of situation that I was. It wasn't every day you ask a stranger for money, that stranger turns out to be someone you knew in highschool, and then that stranger offers for you to come home with him. She scanned me and I could clearly tell she was hesitant. Maybe because she thought I was some weird sex offender who did this only for girls to come home with him so he could cut them up and eat them with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

"Listen, like... that's very generous, but I don't charity, just-"

And I don't know why I said what I said next, "I think at this point, you can allow yourself a little charity, Callie."

She stayed silent for almost a full minute. And I just kinda stayed there. We could hear faint laughing at the act that had come on after me in the club behind her, the cool air hitting our faces non-stop as she thought, my head racing and asking me questions, asking if this is really a good idea.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Then she nodded slowly once and then repeatedly afterward. I almost smiled, but I didn't, cause that would be sort of creepy really. She told me softly, "I have a duffle bag behind the dumpster as well as this one. Just let me grab-"

"I got it," I told her and immediately stood up, walked over to the dumpster, reached behind it, and pulled out a dirtied light blue duffle bag of things. I turned back to her and she had stood up, holding her second bag of things in her hand.

"Okay... let's go."

****************************

I opened the front door to my home and flipped the light switch next to me. The living room lit up and I dragged her bag over and set it down next to the coffee table and saw her set her other bag on the other side. She was about to sit down on the couch, but hesitated.

"What?" I asked.

She grabbed her left arm and kind of looked away. "I'm... dirty. I don't wanna-"

I waved that claim away. "That thing is almost definitely dirtier than you are, Take a seat."

She didn't laugh, but she smiled at the joke and then did actually sit down. It took her a few seconds, but she relaxed, obviously comfier than she was in an alleyway.

"It's been... a long time since I've sat on a couch that wasn't at a youth center, Grayson," She sighed.

"Jeez... you make it sound like sitting on a couch is like sex," I replied and she did laugh.

Wow. Her laugh was like... it sounds kind of dumb, but it sounded like music. Like there was a melody to it. It took me a second to register that it came from her, but I turned back and smiled.

"So, I'm gonna need you to get off that couch dick for a moment so I can pull out the bed. Cool?"

Her eyes lit up as if this was too good to be true and she stood up, walking over to the armchair as I went to work on the bed. I looked up at her.

"So, not saying you stink but I bet you'd like a shower," She nodded. "That's why I'm prohibiting you from every bathroom in this house."

It took her a second, but she laughed again. Music. As if Beethoven came around and was like 'Yo! Girl Laughs -- The Cortet, let's get it!'

"But seriously, the bathroom where I shower is through there. Big shower. The cool part about it is that... ya know... it's not a shower and bath combination thing. There's a shower and then there's a bath. It's pretty hype... okay sorry, bad joke," Another laugh. "Seriously though, take as long as you need, I've got shampoo and soap in there and everything. Make sure to get some comfortable clothes to change into. I'll keep working on the couch bed."

Callie nodded and began to rummage through her light blue duffle bag. "I haven't been able to wear... like... comfortable clothes in... a very long time."

That took me by surprise for a second, but it made sense. Why wear clothes like tanktops and t-shirts out during the Fall and Winter when you're always outside? And that thought, even though not tremendously bad, and probably one of the least bad things about being homeless, caused a twinge of guilt. Even though I didn't cause her situation, it felt bad that I was living a relatively easy life and she couldn't even wear a t-shirt during the winter without getting a cold.

She walked off to the bathroom and I went to work on the bed. I was able to rummage through my closet and pull out an extra set of sheets, two pillows, and several blankets to put on the bed. By the time I had her bed completely set up, it had probably been half an hour, and she had only gotten out of the shower moments afterward, now wearing a wrinkled tank top and pajama pants, which were actually kind of clean.

"Hey. Got the bed ready for you," I told her and she nodded.

"Thank you," She told me and I stretched my arms, yawning.

"I uh... I had pretty long day, so I'm probably going to try and sleep now. It's about midnight anyway so, I might as well try and sleep early," I clapped my hands together lightly and she nodded.

"Okay. I'll... talk to you tomorrow?" She responded, almost as if that was debatable.

"No. I'll try my best to avoid you," I smirked and she rolled her eyes and I began to walk to the room.

"Hey Grayson?"

I turned to her and she was sitting on the edge of her new couch bed, looking down at it and touching the soft sheets.

"Why... are you doing this?"

"Devoting my life to a dead end career in comedy? Sometimes I wonder that myself," I told her and her shoulders dropped slightly, almost annoyed at the answer, but she did smile.

"You know what I mean. This. You're acting... friendly and you've given me a bed to sleep on but we were never friends and we never talked. Why?"

I stood there for a moment, not really knowing the answer myself. And I think, as I stood there in silence for what seemed like a long time, but was in reality about three seconds, she picked that up too. But I just smiled at her wistfully and told her "Obviously to get into your pants, Callie."

She smiled back, both of us knowing that honestly, I didn't know what had gotten into me tonight.

"Thank you, Grayson."

I stood there for another few seconds before slipping into my bedroom and closing the door. I immediately ripped off my coat, my pants, my underwear, and my socks and climbed into bed. I don't remember the last time I was this tired.

And as I curled up in bed, I thought, as I usually did. But instead of the recent past, tonight, it was of highschool. And I fell asleep thinking of her.

To Be Continued in Chapter 2...

The Punchline Ch. 02



Chapter 2.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Callie-

____________________

"Thank you, Grayson."

A little bit after he moved away to his own bed, I got covered up in the blankets, enjoying the euphoric feeling of heat, warmth, hearth, and kindness as I laid my head down on the pillow.

My name is Callison Farrow. I'm twenty two. I never went to college. I only graduated highschool just in time for my parents to kick me out of their home. I've been homeless for five years. At least... at least until tonight.

Most of my life, people have called me 'cute'. Which I hate. Cute is a thing a guy says to you when he wants to be polite, but doesn't really think you're all that beautiful or hot. My grandparents and the boyfriends I had in highschool always told me I was beautiful, though. I have really long jet black hair, pale skin, and kind of big blue eyes. I've kept an athletic and lean figure since my freshman year in highschool. And for those wondering, I have average B to C cup tits.

I didn't have an easy life growing up. My father was an alcoholic and my mother was a very angry person. They used to fight almost every single day and then my mother would take it out on me while my father wouldn't do anything about it. Sometimes I would get yelled at and called names... other times I was beaten. I hated being at home. However, my father wasn't a bad man. In fact, he was quite good to me when my mother wasn't around. He'd always try and do his best, but when she showed up, he turned into a cowardly, sad, drunk.

I was a quiet child when I was growing up. Occasionally I would get into trouble because I would backtalk a teacher, but that was a rare occasion since I mostly liked my teachers during school. My grandparents would call me a lawyer in training because I really liked to argue. It's why I did so well on the debate team. My GPA was 4.0 and I even did things like basketball and soccer. Anything to keep from going home for a little while, really.

But after I graduated, despite being accepted into several colleges, my mother would not let me go. I never knew her reasoning, but she said a bunch of times that I'd get stuck with some fuck up drunk who wouldn't know his way around a woman if you gave him a fucking GPS. She was a charming woman. But I became so angry with that, that I blew up at her. I think I swore at her for maybe a good hour before she tried to slap me, but I didn't let her and, in fact, slapped her back.

My mother kicked me out then and of course, my father did nothing. Ever since then, I've been homeless and stuck in our hometown, hoping to god to never see the likes of them around. I went to the local homeless youth center for the most part, but eventually, I stopped going about two weeks before this happened. No reason why, really. I just couldn't find the energy to go anymore.

Then... well... this happened. This guy I never talked to and was not friends with, (in fact, I remember my friends and I during highschool calling him a nerdy shit several times) just came into my life and offered me a place to stay. Just like that. With almost no hesitation.

I really thought he would turn out to be some pervert, but, he just seems like he's trying to be nice and is trying to do something right. He let me shower and get clean, he gave me a bed, a home... everything I wanted, this guy had no hesitation to do so. And I knew barely anything about him.

But when I woke up the next morning, quite early so that it was still dark out, he was still asleep. I wanted to go make breakfast for him, but I hadn't used a stove in half a decade, I'd rather just give him a hug or something instead of possibly burning the place down. I just decided to go through my things in the meantime.

I noticed, however, he still hadn't woken up several hours later. So I got up then and I walked to his bedroom door and opened it softly. I went in to check in on him and he was still sleeping. But there was... an odd air about the place. The same kind of air that would be present if someone who stumbled upon a guy doing drugs.

So I closed the door and sat back on the bed. And as I sat down, I began to think. When was the last time I was able to have a long sleep?

So, in realization that it had been very literally years, I pulled the blankets over myself and closed my eyes, and fell asleep.

============================

I woke up a few hours later, reaching my arms up to rub my eyes when I looked to see him standing in the kitchen, hunched over the counter, not realizing that I was awake as of yet, having not made any noise. I shifted myself downwards and watched, curious as to what he was doing.

Grayson had fixed himself some tea and was standing over it, his hands placed on either side of the counter. He was taking deep breaths, as if he had almost been drowned minutes ago. He was just staring off into space, his eyes almost looking as if they were glazed over. I watched him for maybe a minute before he shook his head, grabbing the cup of tea and taking a big swig of it.

As he put the cup down, I decided that it was then to actually wake up and make my presence known. I pushed myself up on the bed and stretched outwardly. He calmly looked over to me as if he expected me to wake up at this exact time.

"Hey." He said in a monotone voice, slightly smiling as he turned to me.

"Hey," I replied casually, leaning on my hand. He walked over to me and set his cup on the coffee table he moved out of the way to accommodate my bed and sat on the couch.

Grayson was wearing pajama pants and a t-shirt, his hair slightly messed up, and his stubble particularly present as well. He looked kind of gruff, to be honest. Last night he was wearing nice clothes and glasses and had almost a professional air about him. Now he... almost looked sad.

"I uh..." I tried to find the words to begin a talk but he found them for me.

"You probably want to know what the arrangement is going to be, right? How long I'm allowing you to stay, what the conditions are, etc.?"

I nodded slowly, kind of surprised he knew exactly what I was thinking. He cleared his throat and then coughed.

"Well... I thought about this long and hard... heh... but I've come to a pretty easy conclusion. You can stay as long as you like. No strings attached," He told me flatly, taking a sip of his tea. 

I blinked several times in shock. "Uh... are you serious?"

"Yeah. I mean, I do expect you to help around. And it would be nice if you eventually got a job to help out with the finances, but yeah. If you want, you can be my roommate for as long as you need to," He told me again, taking another sip as he finished speaking.

"This is... I..." I couldn't find the words. Honestly, this guy seemed like Jesus to me right now. Incredibly selfless and super casual about it. "Thank you."

"It's only the right thing to do. People shouldn't have to be thanked for acting like decent human beings," He replied curtly, with a short half-smile, before another sip punctuated what he said like a period.

I looked over him for a moment. He seemed... colder than he did last night. He was making jokes and fooling around, while now he just seemed uncaring. Lost, even.

"Now, you have the living room as your bedroom, so you have the biggest TV in the house as your own. The remote is on the coffee table and you can watch and record whatever you want. But uh... I'll unplug the game consoles sometime tonight or tomorrow. Or maybe in a few minutes. Depends if I want to play."

"Oh. O-okay," I said, wondering if he was mad at me or something. Another big sip of his tea and it looked like he finished it. He stood up and walked to the kitchen.

"I work pretty short shifts at the comedy club at night, so if you need anything until then, I'm there. In fact, I'll put my number on the counter so you can call me if on the home phone. Okay?"

Again, I was... a little astounded that he was this generous to me. But he then retreated back into his room, almost as if he was a ghost.

============================

For the next several weeks, life changed tremendously for me. For one, I now had a home. I almost never left the house to go out, really. I just stayed inside, kept warm, helped around the house, and talked to Grayson.

One of the times that I did go out is when he took me to a local clothes shop and he bought me almost a completely new wardrobe. He got me everything from casual clothes to even a dress that I was looking at. While it wasn't super expensive at the end of the day, it was still him spending a good amount of money on me, almost a complete stranger. Again, I could not believe his generosity, but he did it for me. I now usually wear at home a combination of tanktops and sweatpants.

Grayson was an interesting guy. He was really nice and thoughtful, yet curt and almost cold at times. He would sometimes just drift off when I talked to him and sometimes do it in the middle of doing something. It was as if he was having a flashback. But yet he was very mindful of me when I was around, always asking if there was something he could do for me. Always cracking a joke to make me laugh.

I spent a lot of my days then just watching TV and helping around the house. He would often wake up late, get up, get showered, help out a little, and then disappear to do something in his room or somewhere else for the rest of the day until he had to go work. Then he'd work until about ten or eleven and then come home and sleep. All the while, he looked... tired.

When he was around, we spent time actually talking and getting to know each other. I found that since highschool, he went to college right afterward and began to study writing and the English language and graduated about two years ago, a bit earlier than his other class. He began to write novels after he graduated. Eventually he found stand up comedy and turned to that instead. Something I found odd was he mentioned during his first year of college, he met a girl that had his same nerdy tastes and the two began dating. When I asked her where she was now, he declined to answer, getting another far off look in his eye. 

A couple of times when I went out were to try and get to know the town, as now I was a person with a home and could pay for my own wares and utilities. It looked like I was going to make some friends at a few points, but I always found that I preferred my own or Grayson's company to the people I met. So often I would at least try to hang around him, but you can see how that's a bit hard, as he would often seclude himself from the world.

Finally, about four weeks after I had moved in, Grayson had a day off. And for some reason, he woke up early, almost around the same time that I had. He walked out of his room in his usual mood, wearing a baggy t-shirt and plaid pajama pants as he shuffled over to the kitchen.

"Hey," I called out to him with a smile as I stood up and walked over ot the kitchen as well. 

He turned to me and then went back to making tea. "Hey."

"You're up early. What's the occasion?" I asked him as I started looking around for something to eat.

He sighed. "I couldn't sleep."

I looked over to him and leaned on the counter with one arm, watching as he poured boiling water into his cup and dunked his tea bag inside. "Why?"

"I... was just thinking a lot. Kept myself up," He told me as he waited for the tea to settle and imbue itself into the water.

"About?"

Grayson looked over to me and smiled in such a wistful way that looked almost more depressing than if he was frowning. "Obviously about how to beat the Penetrator in Dark Souls. Jeez Callie. You'd think you'd know me by now."

You'd think, but you'd be surprised how hard it is to get to know someone who won't let you in.

"Come on, tell me. We've been living with each other for almost three months now. You can talk to me about things, you know," I told him and the smile vanished off his face as he reached over to grab sugar.

"Look, Callie, there's some things about me it would be best for you not to know. Let's just leave it at that, okay?" He replied in such a way it almost seemed like he was snapping the words at me. I nearly recoiled.

"I uh... yeah. Sorry," I replied.

And then the weeks went on. He secluded himself like I knew he would and I found myself sitting on my bed, holding my knees as I began to think. What was it that kept me coming back to try and speak with him? Even though he tried to hard to push me away? It had been weeks now.

Hell, it seemed like he tried to push everyone away. While he wouldn't talk to me about important things like that, he seemed to not talk to anyone. I never saw him bring any friends around. I never heard him talk to anyone on the phone. He seemed... lonely. Yet it also seemed like that was of his doing.

So later that day, during the early evening, he came out again and showered. As he walked out, I caught him before he could go back to his room.

"Hey, I just recorded some wrestling. You wanna watch?" I asked him. "We can get snacks out and stuff."

He looked cautiously over to me. "Is it TNA? If it's any of that bullshit, no."

I laughed, but was able to shake my head. "No, it's WWE."

Grayson then agreed and I found myself almost giddy. And I thought that was just... odd. He sat down on the edge of my bed and I went to go grab some chips and some drinks for the two of us. I sat down next to him and I brought up the recording of Monday Night Raw and we both sat down to watch it.

Throughout the show, Grayson began to unwind a bit. He was making comments and jokes and actually seemed pretty relaxed. We eventually both found ourselves leaning against the back of the bed as we watched.

"Heh... that AJ Lee chick looks a whole lot like my ex," He commented during the Divas match. I turned to him and his smile sort of faded.

"You never told me what happened with her?" I said in a questioning way. He looked down at his lap and sighed.

"What is there to say? I loved this girl more than... anything in the entire world. I wanted nothing more than to marry her, have kids, and die as fat old people together. It would have been great. We were both nerdy, we loved to play games, we both wrote, and we both loved stupid things. Like when anime gets mistranslated, we just loved those things and would laugh for hours about them,"

I turned to him, pausing the episode of Raw on the television as he got that far off look in his eye. But instead of going silent this time around, he just kept talking. I was frowning in concern at this point. I've never really seen him like this before.

"She was beautiful. Long red hair, fair skin, and big green eyes. Natural blonde. Plump lips and everything. She was athletic and had one hell of a body. I never thought that I'd get someone who looked amazing as well as being a nerd. We both laughed with each other all the time. But then... then she ha-had to... go off with Danny and..."

The realization of what happened struck me. I watched as he then grew silent, his face contorted as if he had just been punched in the stomach repeatedly.

"Danny was an old friend of mine and a really good friend of hers. I trusted him. He knew everyone in my social group... then he... then when she and Danny happened... they all began to call me a cuckold. They humiliated me. I forgave her. I tried to see past it. I... I tried to make it work. I really did. And then... sh-she... she ended it..."

It all started to make sense now as I watched this guy's eyes well up in tears. The far off looks, segregating himself, cutting himself off from things, staying inside and playing games and writing all day until he had to work. Sleeping as much as he can... it started to make sense. This man was broken. This man was depressed.

I don't know when it happened, but he disappeared back into his room shortly afterward and went to bed. I just sat there on the bed, thinking about how lost and alone this man must feel on a daily basis. It almost broke my heart just thinking about it.

I tried to go to bed then, but I couldn't. So I just laid there... thinking.

============================

It was about 3:00 AM when I began to hear a noise. It wasn't just the wind or something, it was a human noise. It startled me at first, my mind immediately going the conclusion that it was an intruder, but then it just continued on at the same distance, at the same volume. I couldn't make it out at first, but I realized it was sort of high pitched.

I got out of bed and began to move around, turning on the kitchen light and trying to find where it was coming from, and as I started to move closer to Grayson's bedroom door, the noise grew louder and more clear. It was coming from his room.

So I mustered up my courage and opened the door, the light from the kitchen shining through to reveal what seemed to be a normal scene of Grayson sleeping on his bed. But then I realized, as the outline of his hand clutching the stained pillow and the constant quivering of his body came into view, what the noise was.

Grayson was crying.

At this point, my body reacted almost instinctively. Before I could even think about what I was really doing, I had moved over to his side of the bed and sat on the edge of it, hearing very clearly his choked sobs and that high pitched noise he would make. It was the saddest sound I've ever heard in my entire life.

It was an odd feeling, really. My body moved my arms for me, grabbing his side and shaking him. Grayson did nothing at first, still lying there, crying. So I shook harder. He then turned back to me, his face wet and stained with his tears, twisted into a wretched sob. My heart immediately shattered as I saw this. 

My arms grabbed his head and ever so softly, pulled him over so he was lying in my lap as I cradled him. His soft crying begun to grow into body-wracking sobs and loud wails. I hunched over him, holding his head and shoulders as he cried.

Then I realized why I kept coming back to him. Why I bothered with trying to make him reach out to me. Why I'm still here as he howls in pain into my arms. Somewhere along the way, I had found this broken man and fallen for him. I'd fallen head over heels.

So I let him cry. I let him sob. I let him wail. And I was there to hold him.

To Be Continued in Chapter 3...



The Punchline Ch. 03



Chapter 3.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Grayson-

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The night where I cried in Callie's arms was probably the most embarrassing night of my life. Hell, one of my most embarrassing moments in general. It doesn't top when the girl's soccer team came back from practice and I was hanging up fliers in the locker room for the school and instead of just walking out when they came in, I decided to stay in one of the bathroom showers and... okay, story for another time.

Point is that was embarrassing. And when I woke up the next morning with Callie lying next to me, my head on her lap, I don't think I've ever gotten dressed and made tea faster in my entire life. I actually felt so uncomfortable inside my own house that I got in my car and I just drove to the nearest GameStop to pick something up for myself.

See, I've secluded myself in my room for a while recently for two reasons. One reason is the thing you already know if you actually read the last chapter (breaking the fourth wall a bit here). And the second reason being... it is so hard to be around Callie without getting a boner.

Like I know most of you think that was a joke, funny, haha. But no. That girl is seriously hot. Big blue eyes, pale skin without a damn blemish on it, really long black pretty hair, cute little nose, pouty lips, and that body... ergh. That's the thing that gets me most of the time. I won't go full on perv, but her ass is AMAZING. Her boobs are fucking perfect. It's just... ergh.

Plus, her personality is amazing. Like, she always seems a little pissed off about something and she looks so damn cute when she's mad. She's kind of nerdy, she loves wrestling, and is a history buff.

So I've kinda just... pulled myself away from the situation as to not find myself getting to a place where I want her as my girlfriend or something.

Last night I just let go. I started thinking about my ex and how much I cared about her. And how lonely I was without her and... I just started bawling my eyes out. And then she came in and she was the only warm and soft thing to hug around, so I just clung to her and cried. And then we fell asleep together. And while waking up on a pair of really shapely legs isn't such a bad thing when you think about it, I had to remove myself from the situation.

So when I returned with a copy of Thief for the PS4, never having gotten it, she was watching the rest of Raw in the lounge. She immediately paused and turned to look at me, smiling.

"Hey. What have you been up to?" She asked and in response, I shook the bag I was holding. She looked and nodded. "What are you gonna do now?"

I shrugged. "I woke up pretty late so now I've only got about two hours until my act at the club starts. So I might just... get showered, dressed, and head out."

Her eyes lit up slightly. "You know I've never seen you do your act before..."

"You've never seen me jerk off either. And like my act, I bet you don't want to see that," I responded and she laughed, yet, she didn't exactly sound disgusted by the thought either. I shook my head. Just hopeful thinking, Mr. Harper.

"But really though, I'd like to see. Um... could I... tag along tonight?" She asked, getting off of her bed as I walked to the kitchen counter and started to set down my things.

Ohhh shit. How do I mess up a comedy act and get fired? Have a boner the whole way through. This is going to be great. I can't say no, cause that would just be mean. Maybe I could play it off as insecurity, but I don't think she would believe me. Or maybe... maybe that could be my greatest act. Having a boner... and making a joke out of it. GENIUS, GRAYSON. I'M A GENIUS.

"Uh... sure. Better go get showered now then and get some nice clothes on. I'll pop this in during your shower and when you get out, I'll get ready and we can head out to the club, cool?" I told her, faking my best smile.

She, almost giddily, nodded, rummaged through her stuff for some clothing, and ran off to the shower. I sighed. This was going to be a long night.

============================

I stood in backstage, hearing the final applause of the previous act. My friend Tony walked over to me and pat me on the back.

"Got any new jokes you're ready to throw out tonight?" He asked and I nodded.

"A uh... a whole new act, actually," I told him and his eyebrows rose.

He crossed his arms, nodding his approval with a smile. "A whole new act? Seriously?"

"Yeah. Take a seat out there, you might like it," I replied and he nodded, telling me that he will. I watched him make his way out to the seats and I took a few deep breaths. I heard our announcer, a woman known by the name of Sue Lee grabbing the microphone.

"What a funny guy, that Mark Melson is. Speaking of funny guys, I wanna welcome to the stage ad fan favorite around these parts, Mr. Grayson Harper!"

I walked out onto the stage to a surprising loud and continuous cheer. People have really taken a liking to my act recently. And I have to say, that's helpful. Especially nowadays when times are tough. 

I look out to the crowd, waving as I walk over to the microphone to see Tony in the table nearest to the stage while Callie was out in the middle of the crowd, cheering me on probably the loudest out of all of them. The memory of embarrassment set in for a moment, but as I grabbed the microphone stand took out the mic, it was completely forgotten.

When I'm out on this stage, the people laughing and cheering me on, I can feel my problems melt away. The depression doesn't seem as present... my hard on for anything to do with Callie doesn't seem as bulging anymore... anything bad just is gone. And a smile along with a casual attitude replaces old and cold Grayson.

"Okay, okay. Quiet down. It's great to see so many people in the club. Jesus, how many of you are out there?" A cheap cheer erupts from the crowd. "So let's just get the hot topics out of the way. Like owls..."

The act was going great. Completely new material, everyone in the club loved it, even the employees were having a good giggle. Then, as the act progressed, it was time to get to the roommate joke. I didn't even bat an eyelash before going into it, not even caring that my roommate was out there.

"So... a few months ago, I got a roommate. And this was my first time ever actually living with someone else. Like, not even a girlfriend has ever come to live with me. And it's nice, ya know, there's plenty of space for the both of us. But there's... there's something that gets to me," I could see Callie's face in the crowd, sort of scrunching up in a frown.

"The girl who has moved in with me, I won't say names, is insanely. Fucking. Attractive," The crowd laughs and Callie does as well, but the laugh turns into a cheer of admiration. I shake my head and a finger. "No no, you might think that's a good thing, but for a young, hormonal heterosexual male who hasn't had sex in two years... it's fucking annoying."

Another laugh from the crowd erupts, Callie looking slightly surprised, but still going along with the crowd. "It's like, I have to avoid her at times. I walk out of my room and I see her in these cute little boyshorts and a tight tanktop, sitting in an oh so teasing position, and I have to make my tea and fucking bolt back into my room, hoping she doesn't notice my raging stiffie."

The laugh almost seems continuous, the whole crowd loving the act. The joke runs its course and I continue my act the whole way through until I finish up my last joke.

"The one thing though, the question that keeps me up at night whenever I think of that party... is how the hell did they hang a piñata up there?"

The crowd erupts in probably the loudest guffawing laughter of the night. And at the height, I tell them they've been great and it's time for me to go back to my home planet. The laughter slowly changes into a cheer, some people chanting, as I walk backstage.

I felt exhilarated. Never better in my entire life. The whole club was eating up every word I said. They were laughing at everything. The whole act was amazing; I didn't miss a beat at all. I felt like I could take on the entire world and still not have any damage, not even chip damage, to my HP gauge man.

Tony came back and congratulated me, saying I never looked better and never said anything funnier than I did tonight. I thanked him, he gave me my week's pay, and I grabbed my coat and headed out into the main area of the club. A bunch of people congratulated me on my act as I was heading out and I looked over to see Callie near the front entrance, giving a small clap for me as I neared her. I clasped my hands together as if I was receiving cheers from a large crowd, shaking them.

"That was amazing, Grayson. I don't think I've ever laughed that hard in my entire life," She told me as I stopped next to her.

I smiled a toothy grin and opened the door for her, allowing her to walk out. "I don't think I've ever felt better. It was good you came along tonight. I was in a groove."

We walked out of the club and to my car, the cold air very similar to that of the night that we met. It was a feeling of nostalgia; really, as we walked through the alley and past the decayed box that she stayed in. I don't think she even noticed it.

We got into the car and began to drive home, listening to a late night talk show on the radio as we did. We chuckled at some of the half-assed jokes one of the few hosts threw out as we went along.

"Did you mean what you said?" I heard suddenly, turning to her to see her looking at her lap, scratching her head.

"What?"

"What you said. In the show. About how you thought I was really hot," She told me and then turned to me. "Did you mean that?"

I stayed silent for a moment, not even realizing she was there when I made that joke. I took a few moments, gulped down my spit, and came up with the best thing to say at that moment. "No."

She frowned, almost pouting. I let that word hang in the air for a few moments before turning to her with a very small smile on my face. "I think you're really beautiful."

I don't think I've ever seen her smile that wide before in the time that I've known her. We didn't say anything else to each other on the drive back.

============================

"Hey Gray?"

I was in the kitchen, making myself a sandwich and grabbing a Gatorade when I heard Callie's voice come from my storage room I never used. I frowned and walked over, holding the Gatorade in my hand as I did so, and poked my head into the doorway to see what was going on.

The thing that I saw was a little bit surprising. She had taken an unused room and put an easel into it and a canvas, along with a bunch of watercolor paints that she had in one hand. She was looking at the canvas with this little frown. She was wearing an apron as to not get her clothes incredibly dirty. It looked so cute.

"What did you call me?"

She turned to me with a small, almost mischievous smile on her face. "Gray. Like a nickname. What's the problem with it?"

"I... nothing. Just... no one's called me Gray before," I told her and she raised an eyebrow at me as I walked over to her, tossing the Gatorade between each hand.

"No one's called you Gray? I almost find that hard to believe. It's like... the only nickname for you."

"Yeah well... never been big on nicknames," I said and looked around. "I see you've appropriated my storage room into an art studio."

She met my eyes and frowned slightly. "I hope that's okay."

I waved that off. "Of course it's okay. It's your house too. Although I'm wondering what you're painting there."

She kind of sheepishly looked at the floor, shrugging her shoulders. "Nothing that... amazing. You know. Just some usual stuff. A self-painting."

"Taking the selfie to an artistic level huh? What do you have there?"

"N-no, wait!"

I walked over and glanced at the painting to see something... a little bit promiscuous. She was naked in the picture, all of her naughty bits cove red up, yet her form was completely present as she was sitting down in a field. I furrowed my brow and leaned in, trying to see the picture a little bit better.

"Quick question... why are you painting yourself naked?" I asked.

She nervously chuckled. "Um... you know... I was online and there was a bunch of things to test your art skills and they said a self-painting was a good idea... but I've always found that... like... the human body is beautiful. And that someone being naked is the truest version of himself or herself. So... like... it just kinda made sense to do this. I don't know. I'm sorry."

"No no, there's no need to say sorry. It's brilliant, really. The shading, the coloring, how everything blends together into a good image... it's absolutely beautiful," I backed off a little bit, nodding my head. "Did you go to art school, by chance?"

"Well... I took art lessons when I was in highschool. That's what I wanted to do when I got out, you know... things didn't end up that way," She explained, tapping on her watercolor board.

I unscrewed the cap on my drink. "Hm. You should think about maybe doing some commission work for some people around here. There's a market for this kind of modern art thing nowadays." 

"Yeah. Maybe. Thanks, Gray," She turned to me and gave me a smile.

It took a lot of willpower to not reach down, grab her face, and kiss her right then. Every part of her was perfect. Like she was made specifically to cater to all of my tastes. Her perfectly shaped nose, pouty lips, big beautiful blue eyes... God. She makes me sound like a sappy bitch at times.

Oh man... living with her is going to be a lot harder now, isn't it?

============================

Nnngghhh...

My head... is pounding... agh. No one's home... go away...

On this particular morning, I was feeling the after effects of the previous night. It had been about two months since I debuted my new act and it had become a pretty big hit around here. 

See, sometimes, when I'm in a good mood, I grab a few drinks during and after the act at the club. And I'm not in a good mood often, so I don't really drink that much, but last night was The Fourth of July, so there were free drinks in the comedy club and a lot of sparklers. They gave me a free drink and I just kept going back for more. And it was the perfect opener to a night of drinking too, one of those really colorful ones with an umbrella. When you go through the trouble of having an umbrella in the drink, you've hooked me.

Then it was another one of those. Then a beer. And then another one. And then it just kept going like that until Tony drove me home in my car. I think he walked back. Or something. Honestly, I only remember a few things before I fell on my bed and went to sleep. Like... I think I woke up Callie. I don't know, really.

But as I woke up, I just kind of threw on some pajama pants that I found on the floor. And all of you out there, who are going 'Eugh' or whatever, fuck off. I couldn't even begin to think of going over to my closet to find a new pair to wear.

So at that time, I very much considered going out, making tea, then maybe going outside for a little bit, I really did, but... you can probably guess what I actually did.

I went back into bed, covered my whole body up, and let one hand rest on the open side of my head to make the pounding slow down a little bit. I noticed that the light coming through the blinds was white rather than a sunny yellow. It was early morning and probably quite cloudy. It was going to rain. I liked the rain.

Some time later, when it seemed like I was going to recover from the constant pounding, there was a small knock at the door. Immediately the thought that came to my head was 'Go away, fuckface' but before I could even think of a better answer to the knock, the door was opened. It took me a few seconds, but I looked down to see it was Callie. Holy fuck, yes it was.

She was walking in wearing, funny enough, a tanktop and boyshorts. Ones that were... too fitting for their own good. I could go on and on about how sexy she looked right now, but my mind focused more on the hot cup of tea she had in her hand and the small smile she was giving me.

"Hi Gray. I made you some tea," She said softly, looking at me and moving slowly beside me.

She began to talk about something as she walked over and set the tea on my bedside table. I tried to pay attention to what she was saying. I really did, believe me, but my eyes and brain wouldn't let me. They had travelled down to her thighs to see that her boyshorts were riding up a bit and her legs were almost... completely bare. And they... were toned, lean, and-and damn, why do I have to be straight?

"Grayson? You okay?"

I turned up to look at her eyes to see her slightly smirking at me. I frowned, wondering why, but then a thought came to my head. Was she... doing this on purpose? Just to fuck with me?

"Yeah, just... ya know... hungover," I replied, rubbing my eyes. 

She nodded. "Okay. Well, your boss, Anthony, called and left you a message saying you have the night off."

I smiled. Tony was a good guy when you needed him to be. And this particular time, it was kind of his fault. He kept urging me on to drink, saying that people found it hilarious. Sure, maybe that was one suggestion at the beginning of the night but still.

I saw her looking at the television and she smiled a wide grin. I took a look as well to see a darkened screen, but beyond that, was the menu of Netflix. A show recently watched by me was the anime 'Rosario + Vampire' where the cover for that was a girl lying down in an erotic, posed position. I frowned and looked on the floor to see two bunched up tissues and a few old stains on my underpants.

"Oh."

Callie turned to me and tried desperately not to laugh. My other hand came out of the covers and grabbed my face. I always did get horny when I was drunk. And... well... Moka-San seemed to fit the bill on what I was feeling that night.

"I uh... my friends like... um... pffhh..." I didn't know what to say, but she just started bursting out laughing.

My God. This athletic, lithe girl was sitting on my bed in small little boyshorts and laughing the most beautiful, melodic little chuckle I'd ever seen. Her hair seemed to shine from the light shining in from the slits between the blinds. My description doesn't do what I saw justice. It was something almost indescribable.

What the hell was my mind doing? I had found more and more lately that whenever I saw her, my heart would kind of slow down. Every time I spoke to her, her feminine yet strong voice would make me feel lightheaded. It's fucking bullshit.

"I've never watched it before. Although people online say it's okay. You wanna watch an episode?" What was I to say? No.

"Yeah, sure."

Callie moved around behind me, grabbed the remote, and situated herself so she was sitting down. It was a bit easier this way. At least I would not be looking at her all the time and become distracted. She pressed play and the first episode's intro started rolling.

We watched as Moka and Tsukune both meet just before their first year in Youkai Academy. It was kind of fanservice-y, but it was still interesting all the same. And one particular scene near the end of the episode caused a little stirring down below.

In fact, it caused such a stir, that Callie tapped me on the shoulder, clearing her throat. I turned around and she pointed to my hips, where I saw something poking against the fabric of the sheets. I think we all know what that something was. OBVIOUSLY MY TOES LIKE COME O-okay, that joke had no traction. It was my dick.

"I guess this is where I stopped last night," I murmured and tried to subtly situate myself.

She was slightly giggling the whole time I went through this ordeal and we both turned back only to see Moka kick a monster in the air in her super vampire form. The episode ended shortly afterward.




The Punchline Ch. 03



We just kept watching episodes of the show. It wasn't great, and she had made a comment about how most people said the manga was much better written than the show, but it was interesting enough to keep us watching. And slowly, as we did move through the season, Callie became more and more relaxed to the point where she was lying down behind me, peeking over my shoulder and holding onto it with her hand. Some of her body was pressed against me at that point and really, I wish I was in her position right now. I could use some kind of relief down there at this point. Anything, really. At this point you could rub a cactus against it and that would be acceptable right now.

We had finished all twenty-six episodes, almost thirteen hours of anime at pretty late at night. It ended in a shitty way. But, besides that, at this point, Callie was leaning her chin on my shoulder and her whole body, except for her torso, was pressed up against me. I sighed, knowing this time was over, and grabbed the remote, turning the show off and getting back to the Netflix homepage.

"All right, time for bed," I muttered, turning onto my back. Her face followed as I turned and she was now leaning on my chest, almost as if we were cuddling.

Well, we would be cuddling, if I wasn't such an awkward asshole and was holding my arms up in the air as if to say 'I'm not touching! It doesn't count!'

"Too lazy to go back to the couch..." She mumbled. "Can I stay here? Just for tonight?"

"No," I told her and she immediately turned to give me a big pouty look. I just sat there with a shit-eating grin before she bunched her face up in a frown.

"Fuck you, I'm not leaving," She turned around and pulled the blankets over her shoulder and laid her head down on one of my pillows.

"Ugh, god, all these pretty girls who just won't get out of my bed. Life can be so sucky at times," I feigned anger as I, myself, got comfortable and turned the television off.

The thought crossed my mind that this was weird that we were sharing a bed. It wasn't that there isn't a lot of room on my bed, it's a king size, it's just... like we weren't together or anything. And we weren't kids either (although I would argue I am a man-child but that's beside the point). It was just... a little odd.

So we kind of lied there for a while and I was sure she had fallen asleep at one point. But I heard her voice, oh so softly, come out from behind me.

"Hey Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you still think I'm beautiful?"

I turned my head back to look at her. She had turned herself around at this point and was staring at my back. And as I turned around, her eyes moved slowly up to meet mine. I don't think I've ever seen anything as cute and as lovable as that look in my entire life.

"Yeah."

"Oh. Well I was kind of hoping for something with a little bit more thoughtfulness and kindness, but sure. Whatever."

I let my shoulders drop and she giggled, hearing me sigh. She moved a little closer to me. "You're not that bad yourself, Gray."

I smiled warmly and then she moved away and onto her side. I was a bit disappointed, as she was really warm and soft, but I sighed again and allowed myself to fall asleep after a while.

At least until sometime in the middle of the night, when I was shook awake. My eyes fluttered open to see Callie trying to situate herself under one of my arms. I immediately grinned. I didn't mean to, and I might've seemed creepy, but when I saw her with her slightly messed up hair and a little pout on her face as she was trying to snuggle me without me knowing.

"I... I had a bad dream and..." She tried to explain herself, but I didn't let her. I wrapped my arm around her stomach and pulled her into me.

I will admit, I sort of regretted doing that specifically because she was a fucking heat magnet and I was already kind of warm, but in every other way, it was perfect. Her body fit perfectly into mine when we spooned and she was so fucking soft. It was like hugging a pillow. A really snuggly pillow that had a butt.

And for those wondering, yes, my dick was pressing into her ass. But I was so tired at this point, that I barely noticed. Like I was probably hard, but I don't really know, man.

After a little while and both of us making content little sounds of happiness and warmth, her little tired voice popped up again. 

"Gray?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's your favorite character in Rosario + Vampire?"

I chuckled a little bit. "Ah... Mizore. Because she's a little bit weird. I kinda like that."

"But I'm a little bit weird."

"I know."

I swear, I couldn't see it but, I think I felt her smile.

She nuzzled herself a little closer to me. "My favorite is Tsukune."

"Oh the one recurring male character on the show? I wonder why..."

"Not cause of that, idiot," She huffed. "It's because he reminds me of you. A lot."

I don't really have women crawling all over me, but the sentiment was nice anyway. And when she said this particular thing, I had finally accepted or at least come to the realization of something that I should have come to a while ago.

"You kinda like me, don't you, Callie?" I asked her.

She shook her head. "I really like you, Gray."

I had to smile slightly at the slight variation of the hot and beautiful thing that I did a long while back, during the first show that I ever did about my second act.

"I really like you too, Callie."

The two of us stayed silent for a while, just kind of feeling each other breathe. I was beginning to think she fell asleep again when she popped up again.

"Gray?"

"Yeah?"

She fidgeted a little bit.

"I was thinking before I went to sleep... why did... why did you become so sad when your ex left you? Like... you've completely become depressed and... and sad and..." She trailed off, probably rambling because she was tired.

I thought about it for a moment. And I came to a pretty solid conclusion.

"Callie? Have you ever loved someone so much that it consumed your entire life?"

She stayed silent.

"Where all you think about is her and how happy she makes you? Where the only thing you want is to make that special someone that you love happy? And you tell yourself that no matter what, no one will stop you from doing that?"

She stayed silent for a few moments but she piped up. "I think so."

"Now imagine that person told you they didn't want you anymore."

Another moment of silence.

"I'm sorry, Gray."

"I'm sorry, too."

And shortly afterward, she fell asleep. And to tell you the truth, now? Being not alone? I didn't feel so afraid to go to sleep again and see my ex's face in my dreams anymore. In fact, I was pretty confident there was only one girl I'd see in my dreams. 

And she was lying right here in my arms.

To Be Continued in Chapter 4...

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Hey Guys!

I'm really happy with the support I'm getting on this, I actively made this chapter longer than the rest just because the last two have been pretty short in terms of length. The fourth one is most likely going to be double this length. Don't quote me on it, but it looks like it will be.

I've taken a lot of feedback into this story and hopefully answered some questions? And please, I ask you to actively read these chapters, as some of this is a bit more subtle than usual.

So the next chapter will have more erotic elements in it. I know I promised this one would but it just didn't seem to make any sense to add a sexy thing in other than a bit of teasing. Just more sappy romance bullshit.

I hope you guys like this a lot, there's a whole lot more coming.

Thanks!