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The Final Trip

By: Pandora33103



Waking up and feeling an unfamiliar feeling of movement has me for the moment a bit disoriented. Looking around I see a small room that looks very unfamiliar and I panic for a moment until I see the note that I wrote to myself. "Maria, don't flip out, you are flying to the end." Wow, I am glad that I did that, otherwise I would have been completely freaked out and I probably would have done something that I later would have regretted. 

Now I remember what is going on. Since I have always wanted to see the Grand Canyon, The Grand Tetons, Zion, Bryce and Yellowstone National parks I decided to pull out all of my money, charter a plane, and do just that. I boarded this luxurious plane earlier today and went right to sleep after giving the orders that I was only to be awakened if we were going to crash. 

I guess I didn't realize how lonely I would be. I wish I had someone to be with me. Someone who cares. There is no such person though. I am on my own. When I don't come back to the plane at Yellowstone, they are to return to their headquarters. I figure that Yellowstone will be a good place to do it since it is such a huge park. No one will find me for a very long time, hopefully never. Then I will finally be at peace.

By now they will have figured out that I have left the laboratory. I hated being the guinea pig, but hey, at least I got to walk. It has been two days since I have had any injections of anything, and I think I am beginning to feel a little bit of a life I never knew I could have. I wonder what is going on at the lab? I hope they don't take it out on Frank. He was a good guy. 

I wonder if any of my internet friends will miss me? I had them believing a lot of different things about me, but that is only because I am such a monster that no one would have talked to me had they known the truth. Well, I take that back. There was one guy that I told everything to, and he seemed okay with it. He even did some research for me and gave me a bunch of web pages to check out regarding what to do. In the end, though, the prognosis was all the same: Death.

Let me back up and tell you what is going on.

I was as normal as normal could be. I had an apartment of my own, a car, a decent job working for a lawyer's office, the body that most women would envy and of course, I lost it all. I was walking to my car one early evening in the fall and I was attacked and left for dead. Instead of just stabbing me, they tried to cut me up while I was still alive and I fought them as best as I could, but in the end they succeeded in leaving a live corpse that was more monster than human. Even with all the reconstructive surgeries, they haven't been able to make me in the least bit presentable to the general public. They have tried everything they could think of to make me at least be able to lead a life of my own, but considering there was as much internal damage as there was, that was really wishful thinking on their part.

I finally got sick of living in a glass room with no comforts of home like fluffy pillows or thick comforters, so I started to raise a stink. I got what I wanted. When they brought in the computer I knew they were going to monitor everything that I did online, and they did. The shrink made sure that I knew that they knew that I was online with all these different personas. He thought there was something wrong with me. I knew that I was just trying to figure out where I would be and what I would be like if I had been left alone. 

I don't think I will ever know what made me tell the truth with Kaleb. He just got in at the right time I guess. He actually said that he wanted to come and meet me in person. That freaked me out to no end. I was scared for days that he would somehow figure out where I was and come on out. Fear has a way of slowly leaving again, just to rear it's ugly head when, unexpectedly, I was called to meet a visitor. I chickened out. There was no way that I could meet Kaleb, and I knew that was who it was. No one else knew that I was alive. 

I watched him leave. Now I wish I had called out to him as I had wanted, but he was to gorgeous. His hair was long, wavy and just the right color of brown that had the natural highlights of blond. I knew that he had green eyes, because he had shown me a picture online one night. He was taller than I imagined, but that was okay. I always went for the tall guys. He had a very confident walk, but he did falter once. It was almost as if he could feel me staring at him and he paused, turned to look, but went on when he didn't see anyone. 

He is the only one that I told that I was leaving. I didn't tell him when or where I was going, but I figured that he had the right to know that I was not going to be online anymore. I sent him an offline message so that when he logged on the next time he would find it.

Well, I have cut all my ties and here I am, flying out to my final destination. Alone.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door that I was not expecting.

"Maria?" I don't recognize the voice. Again the tapping on the door. "Are you awake, my Dear?" Oh, no! It couldn't be.

Hesitantly I call out, "Kaleb?"

I hear a smile in the voice that comes back through the door. "Yes, my Dear. Did you really think you could get away from me that easily?" I see the handle start to move on the door and I lunge to the side of the bed to turn out the light. "Can I come in?"

I look around and everything is in darkness. "Come in, Kaleb." The light from the open doorway has me scrambling to pull the covers up over my face. Finally darkness again washes it protectiveness over me. I hesitate for a moment, but then I invite him to sit on the bed.

"That invite cost you a lot, didn't it Maria." I don't answer and I feel him sit on the end of the bed as I scooch up to the pillows. "I know that it did. I know that you don't want me to get close to you and I know that you watched me leave the lab that day that I tried to meet you. I understand. I understand that you think that you are a freak, but if you would just listen, I will do my best to let you know that you are not."

I would love to listen to that voice for the rest of my life, but he has to know that truth. "Kaleb, you really do not want to see me. No one should have to bare the burden of my horrible face."

"Maria..."

"No, just listen for a moment. You think that I am over reacting. If you saw me, then you would ask the pilot to land this plane at the next airport and you would walk away in disgust. Sadly, I would understand. It took a long time for me to even look at my hands. Kaleb, I am so deformed that to even look at me you would get sick to your stomach. Please, do not make me show myself to you." I huddle a bit more under the covers as I try to get as far away from him as possible.

I feel him sigh. "Maria. I won't tell you that you are not scarred, because you know that you are. I will tell you this though. Your scars are not unknown to me. At the lab, when I came to meet you, they tried to get me to leave without seeing you. I made them tell you that I was there. Before they would even go to you, though, they had to inform me of how bad your scars were. They showed me a picture. I must admit to being a bit shocked, but not to the point of being sick. You see, I am a paramedic, and I have seen just about everything. Having just come back from Iraq a couple of weeks before coming to the lab, I was a witness to some of the most horrifying things that a person should never have to deal with. I am just extremely surprised that you survived. Most people would have just given up, but from what you have told me and what I have been told about you, you will never give up."

I have to tell him. I have to make him understand that I am, in fact, giving up. "Kaleb, you seem confident that I am not a quitter. If that is so, then what am I doing here? I brought none of the drugs or whatever it was that they had me on to keep me alive. I know that I am going to die. I guess I just decided that I would decide when and where. I wasn't going to die in a lab like a rat. There are also some things that I would like to experience before I die, but I am not sure if I am going to be able to."

I hear him sigh before he answers. "I kind of figured something like that when I got your message. I was online, but I was just listed as invisible to everyone. There are times that I just don't feel like I can talk to anyone, so I go invisible. Maria, let me be with you. Let me help you. I will not stand in your way, but I do not want you to be alone. No one should be alone when they die." Does he really mean this? I am not sure that I could ask him to be there though. As if reading my mind, he continues. "Maria, I know that there are things that you want to experience before you die, and I would love to help you to experience those things. I know that you want to die in an area that you won't be found in for a very long time. I think I might just know the perfect place. I would love to be your first lover, and be there for you when you die, if you will allow me to be. I will make sure that no one will ever find your body."

Shock goes through me as I listen to his words. I whisper to him because I cannot believe that he is really saying this to me. "Are you for real? You would really go with me and not try to get me back to the lab when I get so weak that I cannot go on? Would you really have sex with me, even though I am as hideous as I am?"

"Maria, it would not just be having sex with you. It would be making love. You do not realize it, but I love you. When we first started to talk together I was still in Iraq. When I would see you come online, I would know that I could leave the horrors of the war behind for a little while at least. Talking to you got me through the last six weeks of my deployment. Those were actually the worst because the violence escalated and my skills were called upon more times than I care to count." He gets a little more comfortable on the bed. "After one particular gruesome pick up I knew that I needed to have a taste of home. I got online and you were there. That was one of the many times that I didn't get much sleep."

Leaning over, and with unerring accuracy, he places his hand on my cheek. Without even thinking about it, I flinch away. Surprisingly, he does not even react. He keeps his hand where it is, and I know that he can feel some of the worst of my scars. I know that he has to know how uncomfortable this makes me, but still, his hand stays where it is. Does he really love me, or does he just love the girl that he talked to online? Should I really trust him to be everything that he says that he is? I won't be around for very long, so why not? At least I can pretend that he loves me. 

"Maria, I know how uncomfortable this is for you." He places his other hand on my other cheek. So long as his hands stay there, I'll be okay. My chest and shoulders are where they really carved me up. "I can feel the fight going on inside of you. Please, Maria, please, let me in. I know that you want to. Every line that you wrote to me screamed for someone to accept you for who you are and not to judge you on appearance alone. I have to tell you that I will accept you. I have seen your picture, and I know how bad your physical appearance is." He doesn't pull any punches, that's for sure. "Maria, I will not beg, but I will ask. Will you at least allow me to lie down next to you? I will stay on top of the covers, if you want me to." I fight with myself before I answer. Finally I nod. Quickly I move to the other side of the bed, so that he doesn't have to feel his way around. "Thank you, Maria." Before he has a chance to lie down though, I pull the covers back so that he will be right by me. "Maria, would you mind if I take off my shirt?"

"Um, if you are more comfortable that way, then feel free. I must tell you, I only am wearing a short nightie." I hear him taking off his shirt, and then I hear a snap come undone and a zipper being pulled down. When he climbs into bed I feel his bare legs rub against mine, and the shock wave that goes through my body is unbelievable. I can sense that he is really as nervous as I am, because He lies there as stiff as a board. Turning away from him I sigh and wish this encounter never happened. Now he is just feeling obligated to go through with it. I know this, so I figure that since he is uncomfortable, I'll give him in an out. "Kaleb, you really don't have to do this. I know that you are regretting this, so don't worry." I can feel tears start slipping down my cheeks. "Really, you don't have to do anything. I know how you really feel, so you don't have to go through with this." Rolling further over so that I am almost on my stomach I smother my tears in my pillow. I feel Kaleb move, but surprisingly it is not to get out of the bed. When he moves up and places his body right along mine I stiffen in surprise.

"Maria, I regret nothing except that I won't be able to spend the rest of my life with you." He rubs his hand from my shoulders down to my waist. I feel his hand come around the front, and gently pull me back to him. I can feel his long, lean, muscular body all along mine. "Just relax, my Dear, and go back to sleep. I will be here when you wake up. We will explore the Grand Canyon together when you awaken, and you will have the best day of your life. I will make all your dreams comes true, my Love. Just relax. Know that you are safe." I don't know if it is his voice or the fact that someone was actually holding me, but slowly I relax and drift off to sleep.

The Final Trip Ch. 02



When I wake up the next time it is to a unfamiliar feeling that I am being held by someone. I have a sudden urge that I must leave, but before I can move I feel the arm that is around me tighten slightly.

"Maria, I am right here." Suddenly everything from the night before floods back to me. I remember that Kaleb came on the plane and is currently laying next to me. "Please don't move, my Love. I am enjoying this way to much." I feel him come closer to me and I must say that I, for a moment, snuggled into his wonderfully strong arms. "Maria." My name is almost a groan coming from him. Quickly, for I fear that he is finally coming to regret his decisions, I try to move out of his arms. He will have nothing of it though. Tightening his arm up even more he pulls me back against him. I feel something pressing against my back. Something that wasn't there last night. "Maria, ohh, my Love, I so want to take you right here and right now, but I know that you are not ready. Ohhh, Baby, just let me hold you, please."

"Kaleb, I would like to, I really would, but I am still scared that as soon as you see me you will run like a frightened jackrabbit, and I will be left high and dry. Please, can we just stay here in the dark until I know that these feelings are not right?" I stay just as I am, snuggled up against him.

"Maria, I have to admit something to you. You may be angry with me, but last night, while you were asleep, I turned on the light and saw you. Yes, your scars are bad, but I still want to make love to you." I close my eyes in defeat as the truth sets in. He wants to make love to me out of pity. Before I can move or do anything he starts to speak again. "Before you think the wrong thing, my Dear, I do not, ever, make love to a woman out of pity or anything other than the fact that I love her. I have only ever made love to one other woman. She was my wife. She was killed in Afghanistan. I loved her more than my own life, but she is gone and I have to move on. I have not been with another woman since I was with my wife the last time, and that was almost two and a half years ago. She was in the military as well. Even so, she was alone when she was killed. She had no friendly face to look into as she died, and that is my only regret; that I wasn't there for her." I hear the regret in his voice, and I know that he is being honest with me.

"Kaleb, please, show me what it is like to make love." I do not know where those words came from, but in that instant I know that this is what I want. I want him. I want him to be the one to teach me.

"Maria, are you sure? I do not want to push you in to anything that you are not ready for."

"Yes, I am sure."

Slowly his hand comes up my back and around to where my breasts would be if I had any. Slowly he turns me on to my back and kisses me. My first kiss. When I feel his tongue asking to gain entrance to my mouth I gladly allow it. My arms wrap themselves about his neck as he deepens the kiss. "Maria." He breaks the kiss. "Maria, please let me lead. I don't want to do this to fast and scare you. Please, for right now, as much as I would love to make you mine, right now, I think we had better go out and see the Grand Canyon. That was the first stop, was it not?" I nod my head. "Well, are you planning to only see it at night, or were you planning something that would help you during the day?"

Slowly I get out of bed. I know that I have to turn on the light and even though he told me that he has seen me, I am still terrified of the light. "Kaleb, will you...?"

"No problem, my Dear. Let me get my clothes and I will leave you to get ready for the day." I hear him getting his clothes back on and then I hear his footsteps as he leaves the room. 

Once the door is closed, I turn on the lights and go through the few articles of clothing that I have brought along with me. Packed inside are a few brightly colored scarves that are long enough to completely cover my face and arms. I am so glad that I had one of the ladies at the lab show me how to arrange it so that I only need one pin to keep it all together. This way no one has to see my face or my hands, but I can still go out. I guess the opportunity of seeing the Grand Canyon has me feeling a bit more adventurous than I have felt in a while. I hope that Kaleb doesn't mind being seen with someone that is covered. I quickly dress in black jeans, black shirt, and I manage to get my feet into some black tennis shoes that I had. For accents I grab a bright pink scarf, belt, and gloves. Once I am ready to go I grab the last item, and that is a pair of sunglasses. 

Just then there is a knock on my door. "My Love, are you okay?"

"I'll be right out, Kaleb."

"No hurry, I was just..." I open the door and stand in front of him. For the first time I look into the face of this wonderful man. His eyes have got to be the greenest I have ever seen, but that just sets off his gorgeous long wavy hair. With one quick glance he takes in my odd attire, but it seems that he approves, since the smile that comes over his face about splits it in half. "I was wondering how you were going to accomplish it, but I should have know that you would come up with something. During the times that we spoke on the computer, you always were coming up with new and creative ways of getting around using the video cam. I use to ask you to, just to see what you would come up with as an excuse not to. Darling, you look absolutely stunning." I have to smile at his words. I knew that he use to make a game of getting me into the whole web cam thing, and a few times he would use one, but I couldn't. I couldn't let him see me. "Well, shall we depart?" 

I must admit to being very anxious to see the Grand Canyon. I have heard about it all my life, and I have always wanted to see it. "I can't wait. Are you sure that I look okay? I really don't want to look like a freak, but if anyone sees me, they will think a lot worse."

"Maria, everyone will be looking at the canyon, you do not have to worry." With that, he opens the door and gently takes my hand. Outside is the car that I ordered, and to my relief it does have tinted windows. "Maria, did you, by chance, think about breakfast?" 

"I figured that we would stop someplace and pick something up. There was an ulterior motive for the tinted windows too. I figured that way, I could eat in the car, and possibly even take a little nap and no one would see me. I asked for a driver, but the company that I got the car from wasn't sure if they could spare one for the day." Just at that moment and very smartly dressed young man steps out of the driver's door. Walking around, he opens the back door on the passenger side and I slide in with Kaleb just beside me.

Once we are all back in the car, the driver takes the time to introduce himself. "Hi! My name is Johnathan and I will be your driver for the day. Is there anyplace that you would like to stop in particular, or should I just take you to the best loved tourist spots? If you are not sure, I know of some places that tourists rarely get to, but are easily accessible by car. If you are interested, we could go to some of those as well."

Kaleb speaks up, and I'm glad that he does, because I would love for him to totally take the lead today. "Johnathan, is there anyplace nearby that we could get a decent breakfast and take it someplace very private to eat it? It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just good."

"I know of just the right place. I'll run in and get you some food, and then I can take you someplace very private. It is obvious that you two want to be alone. While you eat breakfast I'll get the rest of the day planned out for you. I'll figure out where to take you so that you can have the best views from the car and then you will not have to leave it if you do not wish to."

While Johnathan is talking, Kaleb draws me closer and gently turns my face to him. Very slowly he draws the scarf away from my mouth and kisses me. When I put my arms around his neck, he lets out a groan and pulls me closer. As quickly as the kiss started, that is how fast it deepens and before I know it my arms are around his neck and he is holding me in a full embrace. I never even notice that we are moving. When I feel Kaleb reach for the pin that holds the scarf in place I have a brief fight with myself and finally let him unpin it. I look away as the scarf falls away from my face and bares it for him to see. When I don't hear or feel any reaction, I slowly open my eyes to find him looking questioningly into my face. He reaches up and takes off the sunglasses so that, for the first time, our eyes meet. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly he reaches out and strokes my hair, which I have to admit is the one semi normal thing about me. As his hand comes up to cup the side of my face I rest my cheek in it and close my eyes again. This time not in fear, but another emotion that I have never felt before. I reach up with my gloved hand to hold his warm, strong, callused hand in place as he guides me closer to him and takes possession of my lips again. There is a hunger there that I do not understand. When I feel his hands go down and start to unbutton my shirt I know that if I do not stop this then my first time with a man will be in the back of a limousine. "Kaleb, please, we have to stop." With a groan he backs off. I am amazed to realize that he is breathing very hard, as if he had just run a marathon. When he sits back in the seat and looks over at me I have a feeling that he is disappointed, until he smiles.

"Maria, thank you for stopping me. I am sorry that I got carried away. Just the fact that I am finally seeing the one lady that has captured my heart and I am so wanting to hold you and love you. I got carried away by the feel of you in my arms. Maria, I can't wait until tonight to have you." Just then Johnathan knocks on the window and brings it down just enough so that we can hear what he is saying.

"Just to let you two know, we are coming up to a restaurant that makes some of the best breakfast out. At this time in the day there is no one in there except for the owner, so if you would like to, I am sure that she would not mind you going inside and eating." 

Frantically I look at Kaleb. He just looks at me and shrugs. "It is up to you, my Dear. I know that you want to live the last days of your life as normally as you can, so why don't we give it a try. When was the last time that you had the wonderful experience of eating in a public restaurant?"

I shake my head. "I have not had that experience in so long that I do not even remember what it is like." Quickly I put the scarf over my face but Kaleb stops me. 

"Maria, please, your face is not as bad as you think. Yes, you have scars, but they really are not as hideous as you think. If there is no one here, I think that you will be able to go without the scarf. Only if you want to though." Looking into his eyes, I can see that he would really like me to keep the scarf off. Before I have the chance to rethink what I am doing, I take the scarf completely off. I am very glad that I decided to wear a long-sleeved shirt today. My gloves are still covering my hands and my sunglasses will cover a lot of my face. "Thank you, my Dear. I know how hard this is for you and I appreciate your faith in me to look out for you." Just then we pull up outside of a building like I have never seen before. It is out in the middle of nowhere, and there is nothing around it. One truck is parked toward the back, so I am assuming that belongs to the owners.

Parking quickly, Johnathan turns in his seat. Do you want me to go in and get the food for you? It would be no problem."

Taking my hand in his, Kaleb answers for the two of us. "We will be going in, but thank you."

"Great! I know that my mom will love to have you."

In surprise I look up at this fresh-faced youth. "Your mom? Your mom runs this restaurant? Wow. I am impressed." I guess Johnathan didn't know that I could speak because if the look of surprise on his face was anything to go by, he just had one of the biggest shocks of his life.

When we get inside I can see that, yes, the place is empty. Kaleb and I pick a booth over in the corner where, if anybody does come in, they wouldn't see us. Almost immediately, a very nice looking woman comes out from the back. When she sees Johnathan she smiles.

"Hi, mom! I brought you a couple of customers. They are looking for the best breakfast around, and I immediately thought of you. Let me give you a hand in the back and we'll make them the best breakfast that they ever had, okay?" As the lady nods, Johnathan turns to us. "Now you two just stay put. I'll be back in a few minutes with something to tempt even the most puny appetite."

While he and his mom walk to the kitchen, Kaleb and I sit together on the same side of the booth. "Maria, I know this one of the things that you really wanted to do. Now you get the chance." Here his demeanor changes. He becomes all business. "Now, we need to talk." I look up at him and he reaches over to take off my glasses. Smiling he looks over at me. "I would like to look into your eyes when we talk." As he reaches out, my eyes are drawn to his hands. He slowly takes my hands in his . "Maria, I need to know. Where do you want to do it? I am hoping that you will allow me to make love to you soon, because I am not sure that I can hold myself away from you. To me you are the most beautiful woman alive. I need to feel your body wrapped around mine, to make you mine. I am so glad that you stopped me in the car, because I do not want your first experience to be in the back seat of a car, even if it is a limo. I would love to have your first experience to be outside, in the glorious scenery of the Grand Canyon. I am sure that Johnathan could find just the right spot for us." Outside? He wants to make love to me outside? Is he crazy?" "Maria, you are perfect, believe it or not, and I do not want you to feel in any way that you need to hide yourself. I need to feel my cock sliding into your wonderful body and to see you in the throws of ecstasy." He stops to take a deep breath and his grip on my hands tightens to almost unbearable. "I will not beg you, but I will tell you this: If you do not allow me to make love to you soon, I am not sure how much longer I can hold out. I will never force you to do anything that you do not want to do, but I may ask you to try some things that you never thought of trying." By looking into his eyes I can see that there is a look there that I have never seen before in any man's eyes.

"Kaleb, I will not lie to you. I want you to make love to me. I just do not know what to say. I can not say that I am comfortable in making love outside, although I can see where you are coming from in desiring that. I do see that it would have an incredibly naughty feel to it, and I kind of like that. Before all this happened to me, I was not exactly the most shy and retiring. I liked to take chances. Not just in things that I knew wouldn't hurt me, but in everything. I would go rock climbing with just my tennis shoes and a backpack full of munchies. If I got caught out there all night, then so be it. It was no big deal. I had something along to start a fire with, so I wouldn't get cold, and that was all I needed. I always dreamed of making love out there on a ledge, in plain sight of any helicopter that came by, and trust me, a lot of them did. Tourists loved to take a chopper up to the top of the mountain, and I always thought about how wonderful it would be to shock them." I have to chuckle at the thought of the horror on the faces of the people in the helicopter if they would see me now. "I use to live life to fullest. When I was attacked, I was walking back to my car from work. When I saw the guys, I didn't think anything of it." I have to stop talking for a moment because Johnathan's mom came at just that moment with our food. After she leaves I continue. "I just thought that they would pass me by, but they didn't. They surrounded me. When I saw that they all had knives, I began to get scared, but I figured that I could fight them off, and I tried. When the first knife entered my bicep I remember the searing pain, and then the anger that they were actually hurting me. I felt every stab, and every cut." I look at the food that had been placed in front of me and realize that I have not tasted real food since I woke up in the lab. Unfortunately, I am not all that hungry. Kaleb must have realized that I would be having a tough time eating because he starts to cut up the food in very small pieces. Suddenly a weakness comes over me and I start to feel the oncoming blackout. I look at Kaleb. "I'm sorry." With that my body crumples over on to his shoulder. Thankfully, he doesn't freak out or anything. He just snuggles me in a little closer and continues to cut my food.

When I come around, I am snuggled up on his shoulder and he is calmly sitting there drinking his coffee. Looking down at me, he smiles that devastating smile. "Hello, Sweetie. Are you back with me?" Groggily I nod my head. "Are you up to eating anything?"

Looking at the plate of food and the coffee that is in front of me I have to admit that I am getting hungry. "I must say that I am getting hungry." Tentatively I take a sip of the coffee. "Oh, that tastes so good." Taking another drink, I remember that I use to be addicted to coffee before the attack. Gingerly I reach out and take a bite. when the food hits my mouth I remember what it was like to actually eat real food. Savoring every bite I finish off half of the plate before I realize that Kaleb and I haven't talked for quite a while. Looking up at him I see that he is watching me with a smile on his face.

"I am glad to see that you are able to enjoy real food. I was actually wondering if you would be able to."

Swallowing what was in my mouth, I smile at him. "I haven't had anything this good in years. I forgot how good food actually can taste. I am so tired of living on protein shakes and bars that taste like cardboard."

"Maybe if you eat you will be able to beat this. Have you ever thought of that?"

Slowly I put my fork down. "Kaleb. I would love to tell you that all that it would take is eating real food, but you know as well as I do that it is more than that. I may get a few more days, but I doubt that it will be any longer than that. I know that you did a lot of research for me and so you should know as well as I do that this does not end well for me." I hate to burst his balloon, but I know that I can't live a fantasy. That is why I left the lab. They kept trying to tell me that maybe in a year or so that they could help me. Yeah right. Like that would ever happen. 

"My Dear, wouldn't even an extra day or so be better than giving up? I must say that I do not want to lose you so quickly. I know that you have a lot of things that you want to see. I am just scared that you are trying to do to much. The Grand Canyon, The Grand Tetons, Bryce, and Zion? That is a lot to do. I will do my best to help you though."

Looking at him, I suddenly get this feeling that he is trying to hide something from me. "Kaleb, what are you trying to hide? I just have this feeling all of a sudden that you know more than you are telling me. What is up?"

Sighing, he puts down his fork. "Yes, I do know more than I was saying. I did more research since I last talked to you, and I found out that there are certain things that you can take without a prescription that will help you live longer and might actually start to heal you. Yes, you would need a lot of surgeries to repair all of the organs that were damaged so long ago, but if you are willing, I would be willing as well to be there by your side and to help you get through all of this. You know that I will respect whatever decision that you make though."




The Final Trip Ch. 02



Shocked, I stare at him for a moment. "Do you mean to tell me that I don't have to die? That I could live, and actually live somewhat normally? I know that I will never be 100% normal, but if I could live even some semblance of a normal life, that would be awesome." Am I really falling for this? This sounds like what the lab kept telling me, but they never followed through with changing my meds. Why am I trusting him? Is he working for the lab? Why am I asking all these questions? I have trusted him in the past, I might as well keep trusting him. Anyway, I think I am in love with him.

"My Dear, I can't let you go without a fight. I need to fight to keep you alive. You do not realize it, but when I was still over there, you kept me going those last few weeks. I needed you and you were there. We talked of all the normal things and I think that is what helped me to keep my sanity. Now, if I can help you, then I will."

Just at that moment Johnathan comes up and takes our plates. "If you are done eating, I will meet you by the car in a few minutes. I'm just gonna help mom do the dishes."

Kaleb and I finish off our coffees and head out to the car. Before getting in, though, he grabs me up to him and kisses me. "Maria, I need to make love to you soon." I can feel that there is a tenseness about him, and I wish that I knew what to do to help him. Looking up we see Johnathan walking out of the back of the restaurant toward us.

With a smile on his face he walks up to us and opens the door to the car. "You two must be newlyweds. I am surprised that you even made it out today considering how you can't keep your hands off each other."

I hide my face in Kaleb's chest and I can feel him laugh. "Johnathan, you know this area very well. We need a very private place that you can see the Canyon from. We would like to spend some time there. If there is a place where there are some of the Native ruins, that would work as well. We are just looking for someplace to enjoy the Canyon's beauty and a place to be alone. Is there such a place?"

"Sir, I know just the place that you are looking for. Hop in and I will get you as close as I possibly can. There are very few people that know about this spot, so I wouldn't worry about getting interrupted. I have a blanket in the back of the car if you would like to use it."

Within fifteen minutes he is pulling up in a very seldom used parking lot. "If you want to follow the trail, you will find just the spot that you are looking for." Parking the car, he pulls out a book and starts to read.



The Final Trip Ch. 03



Quickly Kaleb gets out of the car, grabs the blanket, and then reaches in for me. Because there is such and air of urgency in Kaleb I forget to bring my scarf and I don't remember it until we are part way down the trail. Since I have to almost run to keep up with Kaleb's long strides I don't bother to say anything to him about the scarf. Suddenly he stops. Being that I am right behind him and concentrating on keeping up, I never see him stop and I run directly into him. Spinning around he catches me as I fall. 

"My Dear, I am so sorry. I should have slowed down. Please forgive me." Catching my breath I assure him that I am okay, but I need a minute. "That's okay. I am sorry, I should not have gone that fast, but I am so excited about this, that I don't want to waste a minute of it." Suddenly he gets very serious. "This is a big step for you though. If you are having second thoughts, I understand. I would understand if you decide that you want your first time to be in the comfort of a bed, instead of on the hard ground. I am just so...oh I just want this to be perfect for you."

Finally I reach up and place my hand over his mouth. "Kaleb, stop. I am excited about this too. Yes, I am nervous, but I so want you to teach me what it is like to actually be alive, and to be a woman. It has been so long since I have felt anything that I don't even know what to expect. I know things from what I've read, but I also know that fiction is fiction."

As we round a corner I have to gasp at the sight that spreads out in front of me. There it is. The Grand Canyon. I feel Kaleb behind me come up close and put his arms around me. He gently hugs me into his body and I can feel his hard muscles against me. "Maria, this is it. This is the perfect place." Looking around, I see a small overhang behind us. I take his hand and lead him over to it. 

Quickly he lays the blanket down on the ground, takes off his jacket and folds it up so that it is like a pillow. Turning toward me, Kaleb looks at me questioningly. "My Dear, I know that you are very self-conscious, but please trust me." Reaching out, he gently starts to unbutton my shirt.

Grabbing his hands I stop him for a moment. "I am just nervous about how you will react when you see how scarred I am. I know that you have felt them, but nothing will prepare you for the reality of seeing it." Without moving his hands he looks down to the small area of my chest that is now visible. Gently he releases his hands from mine and finishes unbuttoning my shirt. Before I can see the look of disgust on his face I close my eyes. I hear him step away, and I feel his hands let go of my shirt. I know that he has turned away, and I drop my head. Quickly I start to button back up.

"Maria, please don't." Startled, my eyes snap open. "You see, My Dear, I was not turning away, I was just taking off my own shirt." As I look at this wonderful man, I see a body being revealed by each button coming undone that could rival that of the Greek god, Apollo's. "Can you please take off your gloves and the rest of your clothes?" Mutely, I shake my head. I can take off my gloves, but that is the most that I can do. Quickly Kaleb sheds the rest of his clothes down to his underwear. Reaching out he gently takes my shirt off my shoulders. Slowly he rubs his hands up and down my back and I can feel the tension slowly leave my body as I relax. "Please lay down, Maria." Laying on the blanket as he kneels next to me to take my shoes, and my jeans off. "My word, Maria. I am surprised that you survived. You must not have been there for very long, otherwise you would have bled out very quickly." I close my eyes as he inspects my body. When I feel him leave my side I know that he will not leave me. I jump when I feel him put his hands on me. "Shhh, My Dear. Just relax and enjoy. Just leave your eyes closed and enjoy your first experience into lovemaking. I will be as gentle as I can be, but I am having a hard time with it. Seeing you lying here naked and waiting is making me so turned on. Please keep your eyes closed though, because I do not want you to be in any way tense or skittish." All the time that he is talking to me he is gently rubbing my body all over. When he gets to the area between my legs I start to squirm. 

"Mmm Kaleb, I don't know what you are doing, but keep it up."

"My Dear, I need to be in you very soon." I feel his fingers start to press into me. When he reaches a blockage, he stops. "You are still a virgin?" I nod my head. I can hear the incredulity in his voice. "My Dear, I never thought about that. I guess I just assumed that you would have been active with men before your attack." I feel him press against the blockage. "Oh, Baby, this will hurt you more than I originally thought. I will try to be as gentle as I can be, but I need to do this." I feel him move and before I realize it I can feel his cock positioning to enter. "Just relax, My Dear." Slowly he presses forward and I feel myself stretching more than I ever thought I could. I have to gasp at the feeling of being so filled. When he reaches the blockage he stops. "Maria, how do you want it, hard and fast or slow and painful."

Opening my eyes I see him above me. Behind him I see the sky and an eagle chooses just that time to fly over. Taking a deep breath I look into his eyes. "Kaleb, just do it. Do it fast."

"If you are sure, My Dear." I nod my head and lock my eyes with his. Pulling almost all of the way out, he plunges through the barrier with one swift thrust. Unwillingly I cry out in pain and close my eyes as I feel as if I am being ripped in half. When he is fully embedded in me he stops. "My Dear, please tell me that you are okay. I am so sorry that it hurt that much." 

With an unbidden tear sneaking down my cheek I open my eyes again and look into his. I can see the concern there and I smile up at him. "I am fine. Please, continue Kaleb. I want to feel everything about making love." With a groan he pulls out to almost all the way and presses back in. "Please don't be gentle. I won't break." 

"Are you sure?" I nod. "Okay then." With that he pulls out and presses fully back into me. Every time that he does it feels better and better. Soon I hear a moaning and I am surprised to find that it is coming from me. "Maria, oh my Dear! I can't hold out any longer!" With one more thrust into me I can feel him cumming. With one final groan he presses into me just one more time. Taking his weight onto his elbows he leans over me and kisses me full on the mouth. "Maria, that was wonderful. You are awesome." I lay there and I feel like I am completely drained. I smile up at this awesome man as my eyes go closed. I hope not for the last time, because I want to live to try this new stuff out.