4 comments/ 11552 views/ 6 favorites The Day My Life Ended and Began Ch. 01 By: holyrazer FORWARD........................ The day my life ended and began was May 26 2004. I had taken a job working on a farm between semesters at college. My family was disappointed, to say the least, that they'd not be seeing me until the Thanksgiving break. But I couldn't have been happier. I came from a farming community in central Illinois, so the logical choice for my major was Ag. Business Management. Hoping to one day have my own farm/ranch; I worked very hard to make that dream a reality. Almost singlemindedly, to the chagrin of my friends who thought college was for partying and "hooking-up", I focused on my studies. In my free time I audited the Ag. Mechanics and Land Development classes. I figured, while not my field, a good working knowledge of the machinery's inner-workings would be beneficial added to understanding the effects of runoff and calculating drainage requirements for ditches and waterways. Once I felt competent in these I grabbed some time in the building construction labs. Now I felt at ease planning to build my own piece of heaven, ground up! So there I was, a reclusive 20 year old somewhere in the middle of preparing for a life of hard labor and good sleep. About me, I played football from Pop-Warner through my senior year of high school. At graduation I stood 6'6" and weighed 335 lbs. A literal "mountain of a man"! Despite my size I thought I looked decent enough, not terribly ogre-ish. I remember I HATED my baby-face, so to appear more aggressive I wore a long, full beard and shaved my head bald. Mother hated it! As you can well imagine I was quite adept at being a lineman on both sides of the ball. Virtually all of my free periods were spent in the weight room, and my diet was nearly strictly protein. I was captain of the track, football, and power lifting teams. But despite my physique I was also a stellar student, 3rd in my class! I got all the required courses out of the way early on, and even picked up the AP math and science courses out of sheer boredom. Having worked my butt off, I thought it best to take some "slide" classes my senior year... Ag. They were easy, but I fell in love with the idea of doing my own thing, no boss, no commute. I once heard a quote that summed up my life's ambitions "doing your own thing, in your own time". I wanted, no, NEEDED to be a farmer! Fast forward, I'm finishing year number 2, and rather than take summer courses again, I decided to get some practical education. I spoke with my adviser, and he set me up with a local farmer he knew needed help. I'd be working for room and board and a few dollars to fold. What I ended up with was so very much more. CHAPTER 1............ HIRING DAY 0430 found me chugging coffee before I shut off my truck in front of a nice sized barn. I had been driving for 20 minutes, yet had only traveled maybe 7 miles from my building. Winding country roads had taken me to what, I hoped, would become home. My adviser and I had spoken at length about what I was looking for, job-wise. I told him my dream of being an independent farmer/rancher. It was then that his eyes lit up just the tiniest iota, and he said he knew just where I needed to be. "Mr. James," I said (that was his name, after-all), "I can't thank you enough! And I don't take a man's confidence lightly. I won't let you down!" "Don't thank me yet Tom!" Mr. James said with a mischievous grin. "This man you're going to work for is cantankerous and hard, but he is above all else fair. He won't let you give up and quit, IF he takes you!" Both of us smiling we shook hands, me thanking him again against his wishes (Mother did teach me some manners), and he telling me to be myself and my character would see me through. I left with an address and a name in my hand, and a mysterious niggle in the back of my mind that something was afoot. I would soon find out! That was a Friday. That weekend I drove to the farm and back 4 or 5 times, just to get used to the route and the lay of the land. I didn't want to make a wrong turn in the dark and be late on my first day. Sunday night I lay down to sleep at about 2000 to get up at 0300 Monday morning. After beating my alarm clock into submission, I rolled out of bed to go turn on the coffee and start my week. With the pot gurgling away I got in the shower and woke up instantly. Probably would've woken half the building too, if they hadn't already left for the summer. In my early morning stupor, I'd forgotten the water heater was busted! So it was 10 freezing minutes later, I emerged from the lavatory bright-eyed and shivering, I grabbed a cup and relished in the warming sensation as the coffee hit my stomach. Dressing in my standard steel-toed boots, carpenter jeans, and sleeveless shirt I loaded my belt down with my cell phone, multi-tool, and filled my pockets with a hanky, billfold, keys, eye drops, and lighter (hey! you never know). Fired up my old '98 Dodge ½ ton, and turned on the classic country station, the one that played Hank, Merle, and Coe. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I sent up a prayer for God to help me get one step closer to my dream. 0432 here comes a middle-age looking fellow carrying his own mug of coffee. "This must be HIM", I think to myself. "Well, no time like the present." climbing from behind the wheel of the, now rapidly cooling, truck I finish the last swallow of java, and head towards him. "Back straight, eyes direct, handshake firm.", my mantra is on repeat in my brain. As I get closer his face takes on a strange shape, then nearly splits in two as he starts laughing! "Cantankerous my ass!" I think to myself, only I could hear it above his laughter... "SHIT! Have I been talking out loud this whole time?!" "Yup." he says barely forming the words for the smile on his head. "Well. So much for confident, huh?' "You're doin' jus fine son. An' early to boot! You just owned your screw-up, and moved on ahead. That says a great deal about a man. Now let's have that firm handshake!" As we shook, we made formal introductions. "Tom Foreman." I said. "John Anders." he replied. "Pleasure Sir." "Yeah, whatever!" he laughed good naturedly. "So James called me 'cantankerous', eh?" "I believe he meant it in the kindest fashion, Sir. If ..." "Don't go makin' 'scuses for others! Let them deal with their own mess." he said shaking a finger in my face. "Rule number one: a man makes his own way in life. He may get help from others, but his future is his own to make. Rule number two: best be worryin' 'bout your own-self. Don't worry over nobody that don't worry over you. Everyday I'll be givin' ya rules to learn an' live. James says you're sharp as a whip, and twice as dedicated to getting your goal as anyone he's ever seen. Yours truly excluded course. I live by a philosophy, and a simple one at that. 'If I want it, I go out and get it no matter the cost to myself or challenges in the way.' Long as my family is seen-to first, I will make it mine. I'm thinkin' you and I see eye-to-eye on this accord." "Yessir." "Tom, why you keep callin' me 'sir'?" "Respect, sir. You have what I want, so I reckon I had better show some to get it for myself." "What do I have that you're wantin' son?" "This life. I've been by here in the daylight. I've seen the fences, the barns and bins, I've seen the planter in the field," swallowing the lump in my throat, "the picket fence and swing-set in the shade." He raised his eyebrows and studied me for a second before he spoke next. "Saw all that, did ya? What would a young man like yourself care about a pup-sized swing set?" I could tell that last bit I mentioned had opened a can of worms I might not like, but I started it, so I was damn-well gonna finish it! "Don't take me wrong, sir. It's just my slice of pie. I've got none of my own, never even had a girl yet if you know what I mean. But it seems more than I could hope to have in this life. I've a dream to have a spread of my own, build up with my own two hands, maybe one day have a family of my own, people to look after and love and get loved back." I spoke honestly. I did have a dream of sipping sweet tea on a porch swing with a pretty little girl leaned on my side watching a yard full of kids laughing and chasing each other around while the sun sets behind the house. Lightening bugs just starting to wink into life as the heat of the day fades. And always ready with the mason jar to help them make night-lights. It pulls at my heart to think of folks needing and loving me in equal measure. Raising crops and stocks, and a family. Focusing back on his face, I saw an understanding there. Man to man, we understood what we agreed on. "Well, don't go makin' any yet! You're only hired for the summer!" "Yessir...", I stumbled and nearly ate the gravel as realization dawned on me what he had just said. "You mean, I got the job? Thank you sir!" "Keep a-callin' me 'sir', an' you'll lose it too!", he grinned. "Jus' call me John." "Yessi... uh, John." "Fine. Breakfast yet?" "Just coffee." I replied. "Well and good, but you'll be needing more to get through to dinner. Come on up to the house and eat, then you can go home and pack. There's an apartment in the barn here with everything you'll need. I built it for Jesse when he was itchin' to venture on his own. It's yours for the summer. Billy's on a trip so it's just you, me an' the missus till the end of the month." he spoke as we walked to the main house. The closer we got, the stronger the smells became. And OH MY! Did it smell good! As we walked up the stairs to the porch my stomach yelled it's protest at being neglected so long. John just chuckled. Coming into the kitchen by the porch door I was temporarily blinded by the brightness of the room. In the middle sat an old looking worn oak board table and chairs for eight. Standing over the stove was a handsome woman of maybe 55 years. She wore a broad welcoming smile that showed her laugh lines and dimples in her cheeks. She looked every bit the farmer's wife; from her home-sewn dress to her sun bleached blonde hair. "Margaret," John said robustly, as was his fashion for speaking normal, "this is Tom. He'll be in Jesse's old room in the barn." "Hello Tom!" Margaret exclaimed as she stepped toward me. I extended my hand to shake and said "Yess'am. Pleasure to make your acquaintance." She simply ignored my hand and squeezed me in what can only be described as a 'mother's hug'. "What's all this ma'am business? What's John been telling you? Trying to make me feel an' act my age?" she asked shooting John a pretend scowl. "No ma'am. He didn't say anything like that ma'am. Just brought up different from most folks I reckon." I hastily supplied. "Well that won't do in this house!" Somewhat embarrassed I responded "Yes Mrs. Anders." "Pish! Maggie'll do me just fine. Now sit you down, after breakfast I'll go and air-out your new home. Then when you move in it'll be fresh as a daisy. Now how do you take your coffee and eggs Tom?" "Black and over easy, thank you ma'am." GLARE "Maggie!" I quickly corrected. During all of this John just sat at the head of the tale grinning from ear to ear with his hands folded contentedly across his chest, occasionally sipping his own cup of coffee. He giggled like a child at that last bit, and tried to hide behind his cup as Maggie glared him down fighting a grin on her face. The Day My Life Ended and Began Ch. 02 Chapter 2: Getting In The Groove I'd been on the farm about two weeks when it started to come naturally to me. All the classroom work was nothing compared to feeling it first-hand, and back, and shoulders, and legs... I was so tired and sore that first week I thought I would die, and I was used to hard work in football and weight training! I'll never forget my second day there when John showed me how to run the tractor and baler. Then, when he felt I had a handle on it, he had me climb on the wagon and off we went to parts unknown. We arrived at the field, and any illusions I had of actually running the tractor were quickly erased! I learned that day how to stack bales, and more importantly, how NOT to stack bales! But I caught on quick and soon John spotted a white 4x4 crossing where we had been. Maggie was making a dinner run. We had still warm roasting ears, mashed potatoes, and cold fried chicken. She handed us each a glass, and produced a, God knows how, full pitcher of lemonade. We ate and drank our fill, while Maggie informed John that Billy would be getting home a few days earlier than anticipated. I still had yet to hear anymore of this 'Billy', and my curiosity was piqued. All too soon it was time to go back to work. We finished the field as the sun was sinking, and I was never so thankful. When we got back to the farm, I learned how to toss bales into a loft. I thought to myself, much more learning and I'm gonna sleep for a month! That finished, we fed the animals by flashlight and went to wash up for supper. That night with a full belly, I laid in bed and dreamed of the poor hapless college kid that would someday be coming to work on my farm. That's why Mr. James said not to thank him! The next two weeks passed much in the same fashion, with the only variation being the work done, the hours stayed the same. I grew stronger, I gained endurance, but most importantly, I learned. After I had been there two weeks John called me up to the main house on a Saturday afternoon, we quit at dinner on the weekends, perplexed I hurried up the porch. As I entered the kitchen wondering what I had done wrong, John stood from his seat and came towards me. I could see his right fist was balled, bracing myself for impact I stood stock-still as he closed the last two feet. He thrust his hand out showing my widened eyes three $100 bills. While I stuttered something about a dirty joke he just laughed and told me that this was the left over money from my wages to do with as I pleased. Unbelieving, I timidly reached for the cash, when he didn't withdraw his hand I accepted the money. I thanked he and Maggie for the generous pay, they replied that we'd done more in two weeks than John could've in a month on his own. I placed the bills in my wallet and headed to town with a list in mind. I went to the Wal-Store (every town has one now, right?) and got a few yards of the two prettiest fabrics they had, two good pair of supple leather work gloves, a couple of farm living magazines, and a 12-pack of Dr. Salt soda for my apartment. I put a tank of gas in my truck and headed to the bank to deposit the remainder. When I got back I took the magazines and other items to my "home" to divvy up. The fabric I folded neatly and placed in a paper bag I had cut down to function as wrapping paper, then taped it closed. The work gloves got a similar treatment. The remaining gloves and others were for me. I carried the gifts I had made to the house, entering as quietly as possible for a 300 pound man, I laid them on the table and left. Not yet supper time, I walked back to the barn and decided to enjoy a cold soda and check out my reading material. I hadn't even gotten five pages in when I heard a knock on my door. Since Maggie never came in here I hollered for John to come on in. The door opened and the first thing I see is a slightly curly blonde head peek around the edge of the door. I immediately stood up and headed for the door. "Maggie! I'm so sorry! I thought it was John. Do you need help with something?" "Tom. Why did you buy us those things? That money was for you to spend on yourself!" "Begging your pardon, Miss Maggie, but John told me to spend it as I wished. So I did. I bought myself a few things, and filled my tank. A couple small gifts for you guys still left me with money for the bank." "What, if you don't mind my asking, did you get for yourself?" "I grabbed a new pair of gloves for myself, a few magazines, and some soda. Why?" "Just that, one of the fabrics you gave me cost more than all you spent on yourself! Why did you get me the fabrics Tom?" "Well I thought you might like to have some new dresses or aprons or something, not that you don't look pretty now, but, uh..." I flushed with embarrassment. This was not going as I had thought. I studied the floor now with great interest. "What I mean to say is..." "Oh, hush." she saved me. "I know what you meant! You dear boys never know how to just talk to a girl. It was a sweet gift Tom. But I think I can find a better use for the fabrics than to cover my bag of bones! And I tell you what, you've learned a great deal from my John, but it's time you had a few lessons from 'School Marm Maggie'! So starting right now you and I are gonna talk. Just talk, about whatever tickles your fancy." She was right, I didn't know how to talk to girls. I could talk to Mother, sure. But a real girl that wasn't responsible for my creation? NOPE. In all my life I had two dates, count 'em one, two. Even then I barely said two words the whole night. For all my strength and masculinity, a 5'and change dainty little thing could render me helpless! When she sat down and looked at me still stupidly standing by the open door, she giggled and patted the seat next to her at the small table in my kitchen. I shuffled over and sat suddenly entranced by the wood grains in the table top. She daintily cleared her throat and said "Well shall I begin then? Tom what made you pick the fabrics you did? And be honest, no matter the answer it stays with us here." "Um, I guess I picked them because I thought that they would look really pretty against your hair and eyes. I know Mother always liked to have a couple dresses she only wore for nice things, and I thought you might be wanting some new ones yourself. Not that the ones you already have look poorly, I mean, I don't know what you have in your closet, but girls like pretty, new things now and then right? Do you not like them? I could probably give them to Mother if you'd rather some other I will gladly pay for your choice." I said this all in one big breath, my eyes never leaving the table top for one second. I could talk to a girl, this was easy! "Look at me in the eyes and tell me Tom." 'Shit!' "Mrs. Anders I just wanted to get you something to make you happy John hired ME. I thought you were a pretty lady and would like to have the prettiest fabric I could find." Sweat was pouring from me as I finished, it quickly chilled in the cool a/c. She studied my eyes for a moment and seemed to make a decision. "Tom. The colors and styles of fabric you picked out are lovely. You seem to have really put some thought into this shopping trip. The truth is I would have never bought them myself. They are far too expensive for my taste, and John could care less if I wore a burlap sack around! And I meant that in the best way you could imagine! I will stitch something out of them, but you won't see it until the 4th of July dance." I caught a twinkle in her eye as she rose. "This was a good talk Tom. We must do it again soon." Sunday morning was uneventful outside of one occurrence. John walked up to me while I was filling the water trough for the horses. He was carrying a bale of hay to the fence near where I stood with the hose. After the bale was busted and tossed in the paddock, he made a big show of taking off his new gloves saying "These here are a working man's glove. A fella sure could get a lot of workin done 'fore these wear out!". Nothing more was ever said, didn't need to be. I had settled into a groove if you will. I felt in control, at home, and proud of the work I was doing, in short, comfortable. But that was all about to change very quickly. The Day My Life Ended and Began Ch. 03 CHAPTER 3: MOONLIGHT SINATRA I vaguely remembered my advisor saying he would come by and check on me once I got settled in. He did. It was on a Saturday May 22nd to be exact. John and I were moving the calves from the big pen to the smaller one close to the road. I was shooing them like an old hand when a very sleek and shiny Audi something-or-other pulled in, having no idea who it was I just ignored it and went about my work. It had no more than stopped when the screen door on the porch sounded like it had been ripped off its hinges! "JESSE!" Maggie shrieked from the porch. Quick as a whip my head swiveled around to catch a glimpse of my predecessor in the barn apartment. I think my jaw may have actually hit the pasture. The Anders' 'Jesse', was none other than my Mr. James! So something was afoot after all! John hollered to Maggie that we'd be finished and in the house in a minute, all the while looking at my shocked face and grinning. Finished, and washed the best a garden hose can do, we tromped on the porch to the screen door for the kitchen. We cuffed our jeans and removed our boots then entered to find a bemused Jesse James sitting at the table with a piece of peach cobbler and a face full of faint pink lipstick kiss marks. "How you settling in Tom?" he asked. "Fine sir! I really feel at home here." I genuinely did too! "You gotta watch out for Momma though, she'll have you doing 'The Talks' with her in no time!" he laughed. "Momma?" I stuttered. "You mean you guys haven't told him yet? I told you to fill him in once he felt like he had proven himself! Tom, I'm sorry. Meet my mother Margaret, and my father John." he kinda gritted his teeth through the introductions. I could tell he was upset, but I was not gonna go THERE. I simply sat at the table and listened to him explain how I had actually had the job since before I spoke with him. It was just waiting for me to come along and take it. He had hoped I would seek to couple my classroom learning with practical applications. He also very vaguely mentioned 'Billy' had recently turned 24, and how I would get a kick when we finally met. The rest of the conversation carried on without me as I pondered this 'Billy' character. Then all at once all the eyes were on me, and I had no idea why. "Sorry." I said. "Was I interrupting?" The three of them laughed until I thought I might just run to my room to escape the shame. Just as I was about to get up Maggie stopped long enough to take a breath and say "Oh Tom! We had all asked you a question in turn just to see if you were still with us, and then you ask if YOU are interrupting!". Now I could see the humor, but I thought they made it out to be a bit funnier than it was. Long boring story short, they had been discussing my employment behind my back the whole while I had been living there. I also discovered that my performance had been deemed nothing less than exemplary! I was just doing my job. Later that evening after dessert Jesse asked me to go for a walk. We strolled from the porch down toward the pond in the big pasture. He started talking to me almost as soon as we were out of earshot from the house. "Listen Tom. I need to apologize for the little trick we pulled on you when you hired on here. I knew you were the man for the job, but you didn't. I can see the confidence you've gained in the way you walk and it's starting to show in how you interact with others. You're gonna need to really bolster that up in the next couple days cause Billy will be here on the 26th. And trust me to deal with Billy you'll need every ounce of confidence you can find. Especially after the 4th of July dance. You see the thing is... aw hell! You'll figure it out." There was a pregnant pause I felt should be filled with something, what I didn't know. Just as I was about to try, he started again. "How are The Talks?" "Not as terrible as I imagine if they were with your mom!" I joked. "Yeah. Those were some trying times for both of us. I don't know how she got me to open up so much, but she did. And it did me a world of good! I used to be like you Tom, I could be the life of the party, until the girls showed up. Then I went right back to wallflower. You act that way after Wednesday, and Billy'll beat it out of ya!" "Who is this 'Billy'? I hear nonstop, 'Billy this. Billy that. Billy turned 24. Billy comes home on Wednesday' Who's Billy? And why is your last name not Anders?" "To answer your first question... I can't tell. I promised Billy I wouldn't, so I won't. To answer your second question my dad was KIA in Vietnam when I was about 6 months old. John is the only father I've ever known, so he is dad. But I keep my birth father's name so that his legacy will live on. But like I said John has raised me as his own, and he is Billy's biological father as-well So Billy and I are half siblings." By the time he said Vietnam I was ready to puke from embarrassment. What's that they say about the fingers you step on today and the ass you kiss tomorrow? Yeah! "I'm sorry Jesse." it was weak, but it was at least true. "No sweat." he chuckled. I yawned, and we both agreed it was a good time to hit the sack. I hoped to get caught up on my reading while enjoying a Dr. Salt. But ah, the best laid plans, and all that. I slept the sleep of the dead until I was roused from my dreams that featured a slender and sexy redhead with deep pools of the clearest blue you could ever imagine in place of her eyes dancing so gracefully to 'Strangers in the Night'. What a dream!