18 comments/ 17063 views/ 14 favorites The Bush Publican By: Cromagnonman For the benefit of those who don't know how to speak proper, and to assuage those who would rather not have explanations in parenthesis in the body of the story, I have included a Glossary of Terms at the end of this story. No-one that I know speaks grammatically correct English with perfect syntax. So I write it as these people would speak it. CM The Johnsons Creek of this story does not exist. Instead it is an amalgamation of several towns in the North Flinders Ranges and arid desert region of northern South Australia. Towns that flourished briefly in the mid to late 19th century, before a long period of drought saw some die, and others struggle to eke out an existence in the beautiful, but harsh, environment. Johnsons Creek is one of those places that you would not care much for, unless you were tired, hungry, or having car troubles. It was, to quote that famous Australian poet A B (Banjo) Paterson, 'On a road seldom crossed 'cept by folks that are lost.' It sat baking in the hot sun for six months of the year, while for the other six months you freeze your tits off overnight, when the temperature drops to freezing, and you barely thaw out during the day. In the middle of town, on the main and only street, sits a General Store complete with Garage and Workshop and the Johnson's Creek pub. I preside over this fine establishment 24/7, mainly because it doesn't make enough for me to afford a holiday, and there is no-one prepared to run the show if I did get away for a while. There is another street just up the road where the old rail siding sits rusting, that heads six hundred kilometres to somewhere else, The name over the front door told the world that I was David James Roberts, Publican, but to the people around here I was Dave, or Davo, depending on who you were. This was a 'boom and bust' business. The boom begins first thing Saturday morning and lasts until 'chucking out time' Sunday, when the lads would be loaded onto various Utes for the journey back to the remote stations and work. We, and I use that term loosely, get the occasional guest in our accommodation section, while they wait for parts to come from whatever city they come from, to repair their broken down vehicle. It doesn't matter where the parts come from, it was always a three day wait, one to locate the part and two days to get it here. Rumour has it that I'd done a deal with the local mechanic, he'd take his time getting the parts and fixing the vehicle in exchange for free piss. Let me reassure you that this rumour is untrue, he gets a discount. Nothing is free in this world. I used to have a staff of two, but I'm down to one now, a part-timer who comes in during the boom and whenever we have guests. The other staff member pissed off back to the big smoke around two years ago. Whatever happened to 'for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health' and all that other bullshit you say when you get married. Good riddance I say, I don't know whether it's the beer or the melancholy speaking, but I do miss her from time to time, usually on those freezing winter nights, because my electric blanket gave up a year ago. There are times, during the milder weather when we have tourists come through here, when I need extra staff. This is seldom a problem, back-packers will often be prepared to stick around for a few days in exchange for food and accommodation and a few bucks to buy fuel for the next part of their trip. There have been times when one of them, female of course, has been willing to share my bed for a night or two, but these times are few and far between. So you see, I don't get a lot of action, just enough that the local sheep are safe, at least from me. I was out front sweeping the dust from the front veranda when I noticed a cloud of dust approaching. It wasn't much of a cloud, not the kind you see from a truck or a fast moving vehicle, this one was limping into town. I stopped sweeping, it was a waste of time anyway, when the wind picked up it'll all be back, and watched it as it approached. It didn't sound good, unless of course you're Bert the local mechanic, in which case it sounded great, as it rattled its way into town, shuddering to a stop fifty metres from the garage. Bert strolled out, wiping his hands on the oily rag that he had hanging beside the door, and that he used to convince people that he was busy on some repair. He hadn't picked up a spanner in days, it was all for show. The driver got out of the car and gave the front tyre a vicious kick before limping toward him. She took of her hat and shook out her shoulder length hair. "Shit a sheila, and on her own, she's game or on a mission, to be coming along this road on her own." My thoughts were struggling into life as she hobbled to the waiting Bert. "Got a problem, have ya?" He asked in that slow drawl of his. Bert never hurried with anything, including speaking. "I will refrain from telling you that it is bloody obvious that I have a problem, I'm much too polite for that, but yes, I do seem to have a problem, and I need you to look at it so that you can tell me what I can do about it." Her voice had a mixture of anger, frustration and just plain being pissed off. Bert crawled under the 4 wheel drive, otherwise known in other parts as an SUV, or a Toorak Tractor, and had a look. He only just managed to squeeze under it, nothing sylph-like about Bert, and grabbed the drive shaft and shook it. It rattled expensively. Crawling out he brushed the dust from his overalls that had not had the benefit of soap and water in living memory. "It don't look good, your drive-train's shot, the uni joint has chewed out and the centre drive-train bearing has shat itself. Are you a member of the RAA?" He had noticed the South Australian plates. "Yes." "Good, is it an ordinary or premium membership?" "Premium, why?" "Well they'll pay for the repairs, all that you'll have to pay for are the parts, that's the good news. The bad news is that it'll be at least three days before we can get the parts here, and another day to fix it. Now the RAA will pay for your accommodation costs, so that's not a problem, so why don't we get your bags out and I'll help you carry them to the Johnson's Creek Hilton, you might even get the Presidential Suite if you ask nicely." They looked a sight as they trudged along the main drag, little puffs of dust kicked up by their shoes, Bert tall and lumbering and she, small and striding, small being a purely relative term, everyone's small next to Bert. Bert stamped his feet to get rid of the excess dust before walking in to the shaded bar. We didn't have a reception desk in this place, all transactions are carried out over the bar, it saves me from moving too far in any one go. "This lady needs your best suite for a couple of days, do you have one available?" "Let me check for you." This was part of the show that we put on for the visitors. I pulled a note book to me and flipped it open. It didn't matter at which page it opened, the result would have been the same. "Yes we do happen to have the deluxe suite available. If you give me her bags I'll take them to her room while you sort out your paperwork, and I'll fix my side of it up when I get back." I was back a few minutes later having run a duster quickly over the room and squirted it with a deodorizer to freshen it up a bit. We have to keep the rooms shut up when they're not occupied to try and keep the dust out, but it still manages to get in. I took a good look at her as I came into the bar. She wasn't from around here, and that was obvious, her face wasn't weathered and her right arm wasn't suntanned from exposure through the driver's side window. Apart from that, she had shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips and a great smile that she flashed at me. She wore a pale blue shirt, opened just enough at the top for me to get a glimpse of her cleavage, and tucked into a pair of jeans, on her feet were a pair of heavy duty hiking boots. As well as a small wheelie bag she had a large camera bag, the type that serious photographers lug around. "Seen enough?" She smiled as she said it so I didn't take offence. "No, but I'm getting there. I suppose I should get some details for the record." She took a wallet out of her small carry-all and pulled her drivers licence from it and passed it to me. I copied the details onto a blank page of my notebook. "Did Bert give you any idea how long it will take for him to fix your car?" I asked. "He said that it would be at least four days." "That should be fine, we don't have any forward bookings that will get in the way." "Do you two always go through this charade with stranded motorists?" "Damn, we're going to have to go back into rehearsals if we can't fool anyone. Yeah, we do this with everyone in your situation, it's just a bit of harmless fun, adds to the local colour." "I enjoyed it actually, it's just what I needed right now." "Troubles on the home front, or is it work?" "Both." I thought that she was going to burst into tears, but she held it together. "I was asked to come up here on a project for my department, and my husband wasn't happy about it, at least that's what he told me. But I'd forgotten something and went back to get it, only to find him up to his balls in his boss's wife, in our bed, would you believe that?" "Ouch. And what did you do?" I was expecting her to tell me that she had screamed at them and stormed out. "I slipped out and got some super-glue and thin nails and jammed up the door locks of her car that was parked behind his, it wasn't going anywhere in a hurry. And then I rang his boss and told him what was going on. I'm sorry that I wasn't around when the shit hit the fan, it would have been fun." "I'd better watch myself then, wouldn't want to get you upset with me." "I can't see that happening somehow. For a start, you're not my two-timing husband." I looked at the clock over the door and it told me that it was 'beer o'clock', it told everyone that because it hasn't moved in years. "Would you like a drink, the sun's over the yardarm somewhere? I can do you a white wine, I think, actually I know I can, or else I can get something from my vast array of local and local beers. What's your poison?" "White wine would be lovely thank you." I went to the glass fronted fridge and selected a good drop and removed the screw cap. I poured us both a generous glass and handed hers to her. "Cheers." I raised my glass to her. "Cheers." She took a sip and her expression changed. "This is nice, not what I expected at all." "Did you expect that I'd serve up any old rubbish to my best customer?" "Only customer." She corrected. "Well yes, now that you mention it." While we talked I was taking stuff out of the fridge and loading it onto a tray in readiness to take it to her room. There was the usual motel type stuff, some teabags and small containers of single shot coffee powder, those little containers of long life milk, cups and saucers, a drinking glass, a jug of cold water and an electric kettle. "If you want to make yourself tea or coffee, use the water from this jug, the stuff in the tap is only suitable for washing and flushing the toilet." "All the mod cons I see. What's in the mini bar?" "Nothing yet, I've only just turned on the fridge so it'll take a while to cool down, so there's no point." I took another sip from my glass and made a mental note to get some more next time I saw the Rep. "I notice the huge camera bag, does that have something to do with why you're here?" "Yes, it has everything to do with it. I work for the Tourism department and there's a big push to sell this part of the world as a tourism destination, so I've been sent here to take happy snaps of the scenic wonders of the place and interview the locals for the human interest side of it. We can't sell the product if it's populated with grumpy old bastards such as yourself." She had a huge smile on her face so I thought that I should join in. "That's it!" I grabbed the glass from her. "The tap's off, now pack your bags and get your sorry arse out of here, and good luck hitching a ride, you were the first car to get here in almost a week." I slid the glass back to her, just to let her know that I wasn't serious. By the time that we'd reached the end of this by-play and become serious, the bottle was empty. "Thank you so much for lifting me out of the blahs that I was in." "My pleasure, you have helped me out as well, I was really crapping myself off, I was even arguing with myself." "Who won?" "Me, who else." I picked up the tray. "Come, can I call you Dianne?" "If you call me Mrs Wellings, I swear I'll belt you one." "Like I was saying, come with me to your palatial temporary abode." I led her through the kitchen and out to the accommodation block, a row of six Dongas. I opened the door of the one closest to the kitchen and ushered her inside. "If this is palatial I'd hate to see the cheap rooms." She said, looking around her at the layout. There was a double bed that took up almost the entire width of the room, a small table and four chairs, a cupboard complete with sink, a microwave oven and a cook top. A closet large enough for a couple of hangers and drawers for personal items, and, on a bracket on the wall, the piece de resistance, a small LCD TV with a DVD slot. We had satellite coverage up here. "The cheap rooms are over there." I pointed to two half tanks, old and very large and, at one time galvanised, rainwater tanks that had been cut in half and a door cut in one end. "The amenities block is just over there," I pointed out the concrete block building. "There's showers and toilets, just remember, when you go in lock the door after you, we don't come to segregated facilities. The key to get in is on a hook just inside the kitchen door." She sat on the bed and bounced up and down a few times, it didn't squeak. "This is good, I can entertain without being heard." "We'll have none of that lascivious behaviour from you young lady! If I hear of any hanky-panky going on out here, I'll . . ." "You'll what?" "Want to be included." "Hmmm, play your cards right and who can tell what might happen." There was that smile again. "Do you think that we can get serious for a while?" "Yes, what's the problem?" "As you may have gathered, I don't know my way around here, so I don't know where the interesting places are to be found. Do you think, if I were to pay you for your services, that you could be my guide while I take my photos?" "I'll think about it. You do realise that I'll have to get Deb, she's my part-timer, to look after the place while I'm out gallivanting around the countryside with you, don't you?" "That's all right, my budget can stand it." "She doesn't come cheap." "How much do you pay her?" "Twenty bucks an hour and I have to feed her husband?" "How much would he eat in a sitting?" "You've met him, Bert, I'll probably have to chuck a whole sheep on the spit for him." I laughed at her expression. "Nah, for a big bloke he doesn't eat that much, something to do with his metabolism." I was getting to like this woman, this Dianne. I couldn't understand why her husband would want to go shag someone else if he had her. "It's just about lunch time, what would you like?" I asked as I stood to go. "What culinary masterpiece is on the menu?" "Come with me and you can help." I led her into the kitchen. It was a proper commercial kitchen, part of the renovations that I carried out when I took over this pub about five years ago. Along with the solar panels to generate all the power we needed, there is the water tower with its built in pedestal gravity filtration and purification plant, that I had designed and built in an attempt to make the water from the artesian bore half-way drinkable. "This is impressive." Dianne said as she looked around. "Only the best, you could mention this in your brochure or whatever it is that you're producing. "I'll reserve judgement until I've tasted your food." Lunch was simple fare, a ham and salad sanger. The bread, because we use little on a normal day, is frozen and thawed. If it is still cold, a couple of seconds in the microwave to take the chill off works fine. Dianne busied herself with the salad ingredients, although I sliced the onion, couldn't have her crying, could I? I sliced the leg ham off the bone and we joined forces to put it all together. Dianne took one bite and gave it an enthusiastic 'thumbs up'. "This is nice." Another bite. "I have been told that nothing beats pub food out in the bush, but I didn't believe it until now." I have to tell you now that the term 'in the bush' refers to anywhere outside the major cities. It shouldn't be taken as an indication that we were surrounded by trees, because we aren't. Except for the trees that line the almost always dry creeks, there is nothing bigger then salt bush, and that grows to less than a metre tall. "Would you like another wine, or would you prefer something a little more prosaic?" "Such as?" "Coopers Pale." "Hit me." She was starting to talk like us, with a minimum of words. I grabbed a couple of stubbies from the fridge and opened one for her. "Do you want a glass, or is the bottle okay?" "Bottle will be fine." She took a good mouthful. "Ah, that's good." "Yeah, it's a pretty good drop, but if you're into serious beer drinking it has to be the Sparkling Ale." "I'm not that serious right now. What are your plans for this afternoon?" "I suppose that you want to make a start with your pictures, is that it?" "Yes." "Okay, I'll call Bert and get him to ask Deb to slip over and keep an eye on the place. We should be back in time for dinner." "Do that while I get into something a little more appropriate to the occasion." "If you even think about one of those stupid hats with the corks, you'd better forget it. I'll get some repellent for us. The flies are pretty bad out here." I rang Bert and organised for Deb to come over. "Do you want to spin this out a bit longer?" He asked. "Ask me again when we get back, but it looks a possibility." "Lucky bastard. If I wasn't married I'd give you a run for your money." "Bullshit, have you looked in a mirror lately? If you even so much as thought about it, Deb would cut your balls off." "She would, wouldn't she? Jealousy is a curse for us handsome blokes, isn't it?" Dianne came back in with moleskin pants, heavy duty long sleeved shirt for sun protection and an Akubra, not a new Akubra, this one had seen some use. She struck a pose. "Well, how do I look?" "Very nice, and practical. Shall we?" I led her out the back where I had my truck garaged. It wasn't an actual truck, a long wheel-based Land Rover Defender. It had a Bull bar and a couple of heavy duty spot lights at the front, a winch mounted on the bar, and a heavy duty tow bar bolted on the back. This I used to rescue stranded vehicles that couldn't be towed. I had a heavy duty car trailer to winch them on to. I, of course charged a lot for this service, because there were very few of the major break-downs that were not operator caused. Some of the clowns that come up here in their fancy SUV's think that they're bullet proof until they hit a causeway at high speed and rip their front suspension out. If they stay upright they're lucky, and should buy a Lotto ticket. Dianne chucked her camera bag on the floor and jumped in, literally. "Very utilitarian, I must say, not like mine." "Yeah, you could say that. She's got a few K's on the clock and few, if any of those, have been on the black stuff." "Where are we going?" She asked, dragging an impressive looking digital SLR from her bag. She took the lens cap off and checked the lens for dust, gave it a quick flick with the lens brush, just to be on the safe side. The Bush Publican "I thought that we'd follow the creek up into the gorge around ten kilometres away. There are some interesting rock formations and trees around there. If you're lucky, we might even spot a Yellow Footed Rock Wallaby. They were once thought to be extinct, it seems that they were good tucker in hard times for the early settlers, but they're making a comeback since we weren't allowed to shoot them." "You're the guide." It was slow going, there were places where the sand was soft and I was down to low range with the centre diff lock on just to get through. Most of the time it was okay, I just had to watch out for sudden washaways, if you hit one of those at speed you'd know it. "Stop the car." "What is it?" I asked as she was reaching for the door handle. "A snake, over there, I have to get closer to it." "I don't think that's a good idea. The best thing for those is to keep well clear of them. That is one of the most venomous snakes in the world, and while you keep away from it you're okay, but get too close or disturb it and it'll have a go at you. It's an Eastern Plains Taipan. Stay in here and use your long lens." Dianne took a few shots and then played them back on the screen at the back of the camera. She showed them to me, and I had to admit that they were good. We drove further up the creek bed and it started to get rockier and the pools began to get deeper. "See those rocks on that cliff up there?" I pointed to the layered rock. "Yes." "Would you believe that that used to be on the bottom of the ocean?" "I've heard something about them finding marine fossils in the rocks up here, but how did they get up here?" "This area used to be under the sea until there was a massive earthquake and the Flinders and Mount Lofty Ranges were the result. The uplift has caused the ocean floor to tilt up forming these cliffs with the tilted strata. But that was eleventy-seven squillion years ago." "How come you know so much about this?" "When you run a pub in this part of the world you find that you have to know a hell of a lot. It's either that or bullshit the customers. Some of them would believe anything, but I wouldn't do that to them." She took several shots of the cliffs. The lighting was as near to perfect as I'd seen, with the orange glow of the setting sun changing the colour of the rocks. "Is there a better time of the day to take shots of this than now?" "Nope. See what a good guide I make, I'm worth double what you were thinking of paying me." "Don't push your luck, I'm sure Bert would do as good a job." "Tell me, what would you do when he has a heart attack and carks it?" "Call for help." "Have you tried your mobile up here?" Dianne took her phone out and looked at it. "No signal, so much for a smart phone." "So it looks like you're stuck with me." "What can I say, I guess that I am stuck with you. When are you going to start to earn you keep?" "Right about now." I had chosen this point for a very good reason, the light from the setting sun changed the colour of the rocks from a sandy brown to a deep red. "Wow!" Dianne was staring open mouthed at the scene. "It's the little button on the top." "What?" Then it sank in, the reason that she was here. She must have used half a memory card in less than a minute before the light changed again. "If this doesn't bring the tourists in I don't know what will." "You are forgetting one minor problem." "And that is?" "To bring tourists up here you will have to get permission from the traditional owners, and they have made it quite clear that this land is sacred to them, and the prospect of hundreds of people stomping all over the place won't sit well." "Oh, I'd forgotten all about that." She packed her camera back into the camera bag and put it back into the Land Rover. "Do you know what you are?" "The greatest bloke you've ever met?" "No, you're the bastard that offers a kid a sweet and then snatches it back before he can take it." "I thought that I was the bloke that brought you up here for a private viewing of the most amazing sight that you'll ever see. I guess that I was wrong." I turned my face away from her. To her I was unhappy at her reaction, to me, it was so she couldn't see the smile on my face. I felt a light tap on my shoulder, I turned to face a Dianne with a worried look on her face. "Dave, look I'm sorry that I didn't see it from your point of view. You're right, it is the most amazing sight, and I feel honoured that you chose to bring me up here." She stood on her toes and kissed me. "Better?" "Almost, one more should do it." She kissed me again, this time half a second longer. "There, is that better?" "Yeah, and now we'd better get out of here before we lose the light, it's hard enough driving down here in daylight, near impossible in the dark." We arrived back in town just as the sun disappeared in a blaze of glory over the western horizon. Darkness washes over this land quickly once the sun goes down. We walked in through the kitchen. "So you're back." Said Bert between mouthfuls of prime beef. "We were just thinking about raising a search party." "Of how many? You're both here" "The thought was there. Where have you been?" "Dave has been showing me the sights. It was spectacular?" "The scenery or Dave?" "Both. No you idiot, the scenery, I couldn't say that he was spectacular with a straight face." "Gee Dave, she's been here for less than a day and already she's got you worked out." "Bert, will you open your mouth and take your foot out and make room for some more of that lovely beef." I turned to Dianne, "Would you like to try our prime, paddock fed beef?" "I do believe that I would. It must be the air or something, but I'm starving." Deb came in from the bar. "Hi Dave, you're back I see. Do you want me to shut up, it's deader than a politician's promise out there. The only thing the lights are attracting are the moths." "Yeah shut up. Have you eaten? I was just about to cook up a steak for Dianne and me, would you care to join us?" "Sure thing, but this time don't overcook my steak." "What do you mean overcook? The last steak I cooked for you mooed when you stuck your fork into it." "Yeah but it wasn't breathing." She laughed as she got a tray of meat from the cool-room. I had the grill nicely hot and the meat sizzled as I chucked it on. Meanwhile Dianne had got the salad ingredients and was preparing a large bowl of tossed salad. "Have you got another steak for me? It wouldn't seem right for me to be sitting here while you three pig out, would it?" Deb didn't wait for my reply, she tossed another steak onto the grill. "Happy now?" "Not as happy as I'll be later." He gave her a pat on the arse as she walked past him with the tray. "Dream on mate." Dianne watched the easy interaction between us. She opened her camera bag and took her Nikon out. Turning it on, she began to scroll through the shots that she had taken up the gorge. "These are really good, if I may say so myself." She handed me the camera and I scrolled through them myself. "Outstanding, amazing, fabulous, I'll probably think of a few more adjectives later, but I agree with you, they are good." I paused for a second or two. "But you have to give some credit to your guide who took you to the right place at the right time." "All right, my guide deserves some credit for these." Deb had picked up the camera and looked at the shots. "Gee Dave, these are almost as good as yours." Dianne looked from Deb to me. The question remained unasked for about a minute. "Your's? I'd like to see your pictures, show me." "You haven't been into the dining room yet have you?" Deb asked. "Come on, I'll show you. If he showed you it'd only be him fishing for compliments." They went into the dining room and Dianne stared at the large framed photographs that lined the walls. "Dave, you come in here this minute." She called to me. I poked my head around the corner. "When were you going to tell me that you were a professional photographer?" "Never. I am not, and never have been a pro. These were just some lucky shots that I took some time ago, even before I moved up here to run the pub. I thought that they were pretty good and had them blown up by a mate who was a professional photographer. He thought they were pretty good as well. It helped that they were taken with a medium format film camera, you don't get the pixilation problems when you enlarge them." Dianne took a close look at them. "I see what you mean. Do you still have the camera?" "I do, what do you have in mind?" "If I can get you the film stock, would you take photos with me? It would be interesting to compare those with my camera shots. In the brochures that we're planning to produce, pixilation isn't an issue, but shots like these would look amazing as display pieces in the Tourism offices." "Getting the film stock is only a part of the problem, a small part. The biggest problem is getting them processed. I could ask my mate, but he was heading down the digital path, and may already have dismantled his lab." I hadn't realised that, as we talked, she had move closer to me, very much closer. I could feel her warmth down the full length of my upper arm, and let me tell you, it felt good. "I'm sure that we could find someone to develop and print the pictures for you." "This is not going to turn into a competition, you do realise that don't you? I would probably take a hundred shots just to get half a dozen good ones. And with the delay in processing, I won't know for anything up to a fortnight if the picture turned out. You on the other hand have an instant result, and can delete those that don't work and free up memory. It's not fair." "But as you said, if you want to blow it up to the size you have here, a film camera probably gets better results." We went back into the kitchen just as Bert was wiping his plate with a slice of bread. "Looks like we won't need to wash that plate, are you sure that you got it all?" "At least you won't have to stick it outside for Bluey to lick clean like you normally do." "You don't, do you?" Dianne was disgusted with the suggestion that I would do something like that. "And who or what is 'Bluey'?" "He's the hotel dog, he's a Blue Heeler, I inherited him from the previous owner. Would you like to meet him?" "Yeah, sure." I went to the back door and let off one of those shrill whistles you get with a couple of fingers stuck in your gob, and next thing we knew Bluey came belting around the corner from behind the ablution block and skidded to a stop, tail wagging and mouth open in anticipation for the treat that he knew was waiting for him. This time it was a lamb shank bone and he would worry it for at least two hours before it was all gone. Dianne bent down to pat him. "Stop! Blue, sit." Bluey sat, looking from me to her. "Hold your hand out with the palm facing down." I told her. Blue, this is Dianne, now you can pat him, he now knows you're a friend." Dianne held her hand out as I'd instructed, a couple of centimetres from Bluey's head. Bluey's tail doubled its wag speed as she patted him, and told him what a good dog he was. I handed her the bone and she gave it to him. He trotted happily off to his bed under the dongas to enjoy it. "You can come and go any time now, he knows that you're allowed around here." "What would happen if he didn't know?" "You don't want to know, it wouldn't be pretty." "We're off then." Bert said as he and Deb headed for the door. "Oh by the way, Dianne, your parts, there's been a bit of a hold-up. My supplier has to order them in from the factory, and that could take time. There is a shipment due any day now and he's hoping that there are some of the bits we need in that, otherwise it could be at least a week before we see them. Do you want me to try another supplier on the off chance, or are you prepare to wait a little?" She looked at me. "Did you have something to do with this?" "No way! Although, now that it's happened I have to admit that I'm not upset by the news." Bert gave me that look that asked if he'd done the right thing. I smiled my response. Left to ourselves I cleared the plates up and stacked them in the sink. "You wash and I'll dry." Dianne said, grabbing the tea towel. We had the dishes done in no time, and then it was time for her to go to bed. I was hoping that she would suggest that she should sleep with me, but no, instead. "Do you have much success with this parts scam?" "Whatever are you suggesting?" "Don't come the innocent with me, I saw the look that went from Bert to you and back again. You wanted the delay in the parts, didn't you?" "Yes, I wanted it, but I didn't put him up to it, he did that all on his own, honest." "And I suppose that you'd like it if I asked if I could sleep with you, wouldn't you?" "No." This brought a reaction from her. "I'd love it. I might have forgotten what it is that I'm supposed to do, but I promise to do my best." "I won't promise anything. If you wake up in the morning and I'm not in bed with you, you'll know I wasn't satisfied with your performance." "How not to put me under pressure. What if I think that you're a dud root, do I ask you to go to your own bed?" "Are you suggesting that I'm no good at making love?" "Of course not, but you started it when you said that you might not be satisfied with me." "I get the impression that this whole conversation is both of us putting off the inevitable because, for whatever reason, we're both a little scared." She came to me and kissed me. It was the best kiss that I'd had in I don't know how long, including those earlier on today. I led her down the passage to the door marked 'PRIVATE' and opened it. "The bathroom is through that door, you get under the shower while I rustle up a towel for you. If you don't want me to see you naked, I'll shove it through the door without looking." "You can look if you like." I heard the shower hiss into life and the sounds of her showering. Towel in hand, I opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. "Towel Dianne, I'll leave it on the rack beside the cubicle door." The shower door slid open and this suds covered vision stood before my eyes. She said nothing, just reached for me, the invitation obvious. I scrambled out of my clothes and joined her. "You and I have a lot in common." Dianne whispered as we snuggled together for warmth under the doona. "Oh yes, and what might that be?" I whispered back to her as I kissed her breasts in turn. "Your wife left you, and I caught my husband with his dick in another woman. Both of us have managed to lose a partner." She had a handful of cock and balls, it felt great. "I didn't actually lose mine, she ran off with a Sales Rep that came calling. He still comes calling and, do you know what makes it worse?" I sucked on a nipple. "What?" She had moved to stroking my cock. "I still have to buy stuff from him, knowing that he was shagging my wife. I don't have a choice." My hand had found her pussy and was caressing it. "You said, 'was shagging', does that mean that he's no longer, you know?" My cock was responding to her touch. "It would appear that way." I had two fingers in her pussy. "Have you given any thought to trying to get her back?" I had given up on her nipple temporarily while I moved between her legs and placed my cock at the entrance to her pussy. "Are you trying to kill the mood?" It was half way in her by now. "I'll shut up now, shall I?" She said. I had pulled back until it was almost out. "Feel free to vocalise your feelings." I was now in as far as I could go, and it felt fine. "You might need ear plugs, I tend to be noisy." I was about halfway in, or out, depending on whether you were a half full or half empty kind of guy. Loud she was, her first orgasm rattled the windows, (not really, but this is my story and I'll tell it my way) this started Bluey howling. "What's that noise?" She asked, when she had quietened down and he had reached full cry. "It's Bluey, when sounds reach a certain pitch it does something and he has to join in." "Is he going to do this every time?" "That all depends on how loud you get. Is there any way that you can tone it down a bit?" "I could always suck on a pillow." "There's one question that I just have to ask." "Oh oh, I have a feeling that I won't like this. You're not going to get all deep and meaningful on me, are you?" "What I need to know is this, what we're having right now, for real, or am I a revenge fuck?" "It's for real. Oh I have to admit, when we were carrying on when I first got here, that the thought did cross my mind, after all you have the right credentials, in that you're a man and a passably handsome one at that." "Gee thanks for nothing, I am the handsomest bloke in town, ask any woman." "Okay, I concede that you're better looking than Bert. Now let me get on with my story. When you and I went out on our photo gathering trip, I took a closer look at you, and I was liking what I was seeing. You weren't trying to hit on me, and, while that would normally be considered to be an insult to a girl, I found that it had the opposite effect, it was turning me on. I wanted to make love to you, not as revenge on my bastard of a husband, but to tell me that I am still attractive to men, and to renew my faith in the species. You have done both of those and I want you to do it again." We did it again, twice. Having had the doubts as to her motives for wanting me to make love to her removed, I got stuck in and enjoyed the experience immensely. I don't know what time it was when we eventually got off to sleep, but it was daylight when we woke up. There was enough time for a heart-starter, and shower before we went to the kitchen for a slap-up breakfast of cereal, bacon and eggs, toast, great thick slabs of toast, and coffee, a huge mug of it. Refreshed and replenished, we went into the bar to get it ready for the early morning rush that consisted of Bert. "I thought I'd find you two together. Dianne, I've located parts from another supplier, and they're on their way. Should have them in a couple of days, can I have a beer to be going on with?" "Great segue mate, that's the real reason that you came over, that and to check whether Dianne and I were getting cosy." "Well?" "Well what?" "Both." "Yes and yes." Dianne said as she passed him a beer. "You're only getting this to shut you up." "I'm offended. Here I am, showing bush hospitality to a tourist, and what do I get? Insults, that's what." "I know, and if it wasn't for my man here, Deb would be after me with a shot gun." She patted him on the top of his almost hairless head. "So, what are your plans for today, more photos?" "That's the general idea, after all, it's why I came here." "We'll be over in a little while to refuel, can you get Deb to look after the pub while we're gone?" "Sure, see you in a bit." He left. I went to my office and returned with my camera. "I have a confession to make. I have lashed out and bought a digital back for my camera to replace the film back, so I can plug it into my computer and see what I've taken much quicker than sending film off to be processed. It's still a medium format camera, one that produces a much larger primary image than your 35mm camera." I took the Hasselblad from my camera bag and passed it to her. "Have you taken any pictures with this?" "No. I only got it a couple of months ago, and finding the time and motivation to go out taking pictures has been a problem, it's that kind of past-time that, on one hand is a solitary pursuit because it can be boring, and I wouldn't ask anyone to sit and watch me while I set up, and wait for the right moment. While on the other, company would be great on these occasions. I have sat for four hours just for one shot." The Bush Publican "I hope that we won't have to wait that long today." "So do I, We can take a packed lunch and some cold drinks, but where I plan to take you is not one of those long scenic shots that need for everything to be perfect." We packed the gear into the Land Rover and, after topping up the tanks, headed off down the track that branched off the main road near the sidings. It had been graded a month ago. So the surface was reasonably smooth, with a few corrugations forming each side of the bends. I drove for close to an hour until we hit a creek crossing. I turned off and drove up the creek for a kilometre or so, until we reached a permanent pool. It was continually filled from the aquifer but the water did not normally flow because of evaporation and soakage. The trees around the pool had their roots deep into the sand and had a continuous supply of water. "If we set up on top of the bank along there, and wait, we should see some wildlife around the pool. We should eat first, that way we can leave the truck here and move a couple of hundred metres away, so as not to spook them. We sat and consumed our lunch and took a small cool bag with the drinks with us and walked along the creek bank to a spot downwind of the pool. I set my camera up on a small tripod and focussed it on a point where it looked as if the animals came down to drink. Having set it up I turned it off, no point in using batteries un-necessarily. Dianne set her camera up beside mine and did the same. "We might as well get comfortable, it could be a wait." I told her as I stretched out behind my camera. I had a clear view of the pool. "Is this comfortable enough for you?" She asked as she stretched out close beside me. "Focus on the job at hand." I said quietly to her. "I don't want you scaring off the wild-life with your screaming orgasms." "Spoilsport." She said as she kissed me and returned to her place behind her camera. Everything was quiet for an hour and then there was movement, a couple of big reds came down for a drink, followed closely by a dozen or so rabbits. The whole while there was a steady stream of birds, little finches and parrots, a couple of crows, all drinking thirstily. "I don't like this." "Why, what don't you like?" Dianne said as she clicked away. I stood up and looked towards the hills. "Come on, we'd better pack up and get out of here." "Why, what's happening?" She said as she shoved her gear into the carry bag. "The animals know that something is about to happen. There's a huge storm over in the hills, and unless we get out of this creek, we could get trapped here and lose the Land Rover into the bargain." "But that's kilometres away." "This creek is fed by those hills, and when all of those gorges fill up and start to funnel all that water down this creek, it can cause flash flooding on monumental proportions, it can overflow the banks very quickly. Let's go." We ran down the creek to where the Land Rover was parked and threw our gear and then ourselves into it. The old girl fired up straight away, and with the diff lock on, I gunned it. By the time we reached the crossing, the water was thirty centimetres high and rising rapidly. We scrambled up out of the creek and I stopped. "Get your camera, this is something that you won't see every day, but make it quick, we have a couple of smaller creeks to cross on the way back." Dianne snapped off a dozen or so shots as the creek rose dramatically, and jumped back in. "I see what you mean about it rising fast. Do you think that we'll have any problems getting through those other creeks?" "I don't think so, but if the road cuts up and we have to slow down, it could get interesting." I had it in high range and was pushing as hard as I could. The first crossing was easy, the water was only about fifteen centimetres deep and I didn't slow down. It was spectacular with all that muddy water spraying over the windscreen and out to either side. The wipers made short work of cleaning the screen. I stopped when we got to the second crossing. The water was higher and flowing strongly. I got out and waded into the centre of the crossing. It was now or never, at least tomorrow if we were lucky. I put it into gear and pushed into the creek, relieved that I had bought a diesel that didn't have electronic ignition and spark plugs to die when wet. The water was up to the side steps and I felt her slip sideways a little, but she stuck and continued on her way to the other side and out of the creek "Why did you check the depth?" Dianne asked. "I wasn't only checking the depth, I was checking the strength of the flow. If it is deep enough and strong enough it could wash us off the road and down the creek. I did not want that to happen, I might have lost you, and I wouldn't want that.' "I wouldn't want that either." She reached over and put her hand on my thigh, giving it a squeeze. On the way back we could see the black clouds dumping rain in vast quantities on the hills, but it was bright and sunny where we were, the road was thankfully still dry and I could really push it along. Bert was standing out front of the garage as we turned off the track onto the main road. He crossed over and came up to the pub as we pulled up around back. "Di, will you take this gear inside, I have to get the hose out and wash all this mud out from under the wheel arches and around the chassis before it dries and hardens, otherwise it will take forever." She grabbed both camera bags from the Land Rover and took them inside just as Bert came around from the road. "We were beginning to worry, we could see that it was pissing down and wondered whether you'd seen it in time." "It was the animals that warned us, they were all coming down to the pool for a drink, so I knew that something was about to happen." "A regular bushy, aren't you?" Dianne came out to collect the food container. "Did he scare you with his wild driving? We could see his dust cloud approaching and he's lucky there's no traffic cops out there, it would have cost him a fortune." "No, he didn't scare me, I enjoyed it in fact. Among other things, he's a good driver." She gave me a huge hug and kissed me. "I can't stand any more of this." Bert said. "You two carrying on like a couple of lovebirds." He walked through the kitchen door. "Deb, my love." This was followed by the sound of a slap. "Get away from me you randy old goat. It's not Saturday." "I can't wait until Saturday, Dave, who's been on short rations for ages has this gorgeous woman crawling all over him, and me, your husband who loves you, has to wait until Saturday. Is there no justice in this world?" We walked in just as they had reached a compromise, Deb was letting him kiss her. "Ahem, unhand that woman sir, she has work to do." For some reason neither of them took a blind bit of notice, for at least a minute. It was just the four of us for dinner again. Deb had roasted a leg of lamb with potato and pumpkin, and broad beans and lots of rich gravy, just like Mum used to make when I was a kid. "This is nice." Dianne said. "I could get used to this food. It sure as hell beats all of that over-processed junk you have to put up with back in the city, you don't know what's in it." "Sounds like someone's taking a liking to this lifestyle." Deb said as she helped herself to a second serve of lamb. "I have a job to do, and that will take me back to the city as soon as I get enough pictures." "How many more do you need to take?" I asked her, hoping that she'd say thousands. "I have a lot of good shots of that gully at sunset, and now that pool and the flood. What I really want is to get high in the hills so that I can take shots over the plains. But it has to be early enough in the morning so that heat haze doesn't become a problem." "If tomorrow isn't raining we can get up early and I can take you up to the top. There's a track that can get us up to a good place for that shot. It'll mean an early start." "How early?" "We'll have to leave here before dawn. That will also give you some great sunrise shots." "In that case I think we should go to bed early, don't you?" "I don't think going to bed early is going to make any difference, what you two need is sleep and lots of it." Bert said and flinched as Deb thumped him on the arm. We did go to bed early-ish, and did get at least seven hours sleep before getting out of bed in the dark. Half an hour after leaving the pub, the sky had changed from black with a squillion stars to a very pale blue and no visible stars. We came over a crest just in time to see the very top edge of the sun climbing over the distant hills, on the western side of the ridge we were on, the gorges were still black and ridges a pale gold with patches of green. I stopped and Dianne had her camera out and was getting out almost before I had stopped. "Darling, this is amazing. I could have stomped around here for months, years even, and not witnessed anything like this. Thank you for this. The sun moved on and the light changed, colours changed, so we moved on. The Land Rover scrambled up a narrow track along a ridge top until we reached the highest of the hills. The vast, flat plains stretched out as far as the eye could see. From here it appeared featureless, just kilometre after kilometre of gibber plains and sand dunes with the occasional row of trees along a creek line. The clear blue sky contrasted with the ochre coloured landscape adding intensity to the vista. We set up and took literally hundreds of shots of the plains and the rugged hills. We had loaded our gear into the Land Rover and I had just stepped over behind an outcrop of rock to have a slash when I heard the sound of loose rocks rolling down the slope and Dianne call out. "Dave, help me!" Then there was a soft thud and nothing. I didn't even bother to zip up my jeans before running around to see her stretched out a couple of metres down the slope, her right leg at an odd angle. Time to zip and do something quickly. I grabbed the first aid kit from the Land Rover and scrambled down to one side of her so as to not send any more rocks crashing down on her. Moving to her side, I quickly checked for vital signs, she had a graze on the side of her face and a lump was growing on the side of her head. She was unconscious but breathing softly, it was her leg that was my greatest concern at this time. The tibia and fibula were broken just above the ankle. I needed to immobilise to ease the pain and risk of further damage, and work out how to get her out of there. I placed a splint on her leg and bound it and her ankle so that her foot wouldn't move and cause the break to move. She moaned as I finished. "Dianne, darling, can you hear me?" "Dave?" "Just relax and lie still, try not to move while I work out how to get you out of here." "Can you," she whispered, "Can you do something about this sharp rock that's digging into my back." I raised her right shoulder and slid my hand under her and removed the sharp rock. "I'm just going up to the truck, what I'm going to do is to start the motor, I thought that I'd tell you this so you don't think that I'm abandoning you. Then I'm going to lower the winch cable down. Then I want you to put your arms around my neck and I'll use the remote control to rewind the winch and pull us up. Do you think that you can manage that?" "If it means putting my arms around your wonderful neck then I think I can do that." "Good. When I get you out of here I'll give you some pretty heavy painkillers to ease the pain. Be brave my love." I scrambled up the slope, it wasn't easy going, for a while I was going down more than up because the loose rocks were giving way under my weight. I cranked up the truck and moved it so that the front was pointing to where Dianne was laying. I opened the bonnet and connected the winch cables to the battery and the remote cable to the winch. Paying it out as I scrambled back down, I reached her. "How are you feeling? "I've felt better. What do you want me to do?" "I'm going to squat down next to you and place a rope loop around my body and under my arms. I want you to put your arms around my neck and hang on. I'll use the winch to lift us up and when we're standing I'll walk up the slope. You will need to hang on tight and not let go. Do you think that you can manage that?" "I'll try." "Good." She put her arms around my neck and kissed me. The winch took up the slack and slowly lifted us up until we were standing. I stopped it. "You'll have to move around behind me, I can't walk up the cliff with you in front, I might bang your leg on something, can you do that?" Still with her arms around my neck and with me helping her, she hobbled around until she was hanging down my back. "Ready?" "Yes." "Let's go, I'll take it steady, if you feel that the pain is too much for you then tell me and we'll go to plan B." Very slowly, I had it on the slowest retrieve setting, we worked our way up the slope until we were standing in front of the Land Rover. I stopped the winch and took the rope loop from around me, and gave her a pain killer. "That's the first part of getting you to medical attention, now we have to get you out of here." "First things first." She kissed me again. "Thank you my darling, thank you." "You didn't think that I'd just go off and leave you here for the dingos to gnaw on, do you? I couldn't let that happen to the woman that I love now, could I?" "Do you really love me?" "How could I not love someone who can take the shit that Bert and I have been heaping on you from day one and give as much back in return. The big question now is, do you love me, or do I shove you over the cliff and leave you here?" "If you put it like that, I have no option but to love you. Now get me out of here you idiot." "Okay, I'll help you into the front seat, and then I'm going to bind both your legs together so that you can brace yourself with your left leg to prevent further damage to the right. Ready?" "As I'll ever be." I lifted her in and did what I had to do to make her as comfortable as possible. I climbed in, picked up my satellite phone and got through to Bert. "Bert, it's Dave. Mate, we've had an accident and Dianne has a broken leg. I'm bringing her down, we'll be back in about half an hour. Can you contact the Flying Doc and get them to come and pick her up. You'll probably need to close off the road, it's the only place that they can land. You have to stop any stray cars or trucks coming along. Can you do that for me?" "Sure thing, I'm right on to it." "Okay, hang on, I'll be as quick but gentle as possible." I said to Dianne as I put it into gear. We reached the flat ground and I no longer had to concentrate as much. "When we get back to town I'll pack your gear up for you and you can take it with you. We'll see what we can do about getting your 4WD back to Adelaide for you. There's a truck coming through tomorrow or the next day and he'll probably welcome a back load. Where can I get him to leave it?" "I don't know what the home situation is going to be. It will probably be safer in a storage yard somewhere until I can sort it all out." "Okay, I'll organise something and let you know. You can take my camera with you and download those pictures that I took, you're welcome to use any that you think are okay." "But how will I get the camera back to you?" "We can work something out later, you just get better and soon." "I've got it!" "What?" "I have some annual leave coming to me soon. As soon as I'm mobile, I'll go back to work and finish this project, and as soon as that's done and dusted, I'll come back up here with your camera. Unless of course you've found another woman." "The chance of that happening is Buckley's and none, and Buckley's is looking pretty slim at the moment and not likely to get any better." Half an hour later I was parked just off the road on the long straight out of town. Bert was with me. "The Flying Doc has given us an ETA for about fifteen minutes. Just before they get here I'm to light a smoke flair so that they can get the wind direction." Smoke flairs are a necessary safety item for outback travel, they can be seen for some distance to alert searchers in case you're lost or broken down. It was a long fifteen minutes before I heard the pilot coming through on the emergency frequency. I told Bert to light the flair. The pilot circled once to get the lie of the land before touching down and taxiing to us. I untied the bandages that had kept Dianne's legs together and immobilised, and the Doctor quickly checked her out. "That was good thinking to use one leg to support the other." "I had to do something, I had to get her to where you could pick her up, she needed help quickly and it was rough terrain. The Medivac chopper would even have had problems accessing the area, and it would have taken hours for it to get here." "I can't fault your reasoning. Are you coming with her?" "Much as I'd love to, no. I run the hotel here and can't just drop everything and leave. I'll chat to her when I can and sort something out, she's got a very expensive camera of mine with her." "Your excuse for contacting her, I presume?" "You could say that." "I don't blame you mate." Dianne was lifted into the plane and I kissed her good-bye and shut the door. The pilot swung around and taxied down the road before turning and taking off. Like an idiot I waved at the plane as it disappeared. "You're in love with her, aren't you?" Bert was standing next to me watching the plane and Dianne disappear into the sky. "What are we doing about her car?" "Rocky will be coming through in a couple of days, he always stops for a feed before heading south. I'll see if he'll take it back to town. Her work can pay for it." As soon as the plane was out of sight I got on the phone to her work. It took some time, most of it spent on hold, before I got through to the right person. "Good morning, my name is David Roberts, I'm the publican at the Thompson Creek Hotel. There has been an accident involving Dianne Wellings. She had a fall while taking photos up in the ranges and has broken her leg rather badly. How badly we don't know yet, but she's on her way to the Royal Adelaide with the Flying Doctor. They've just left, if you call them they can give you an ETA." "Thank you for advising us, we'll get someone to meet her at the hospital." He must have thought that it would make a good story because the next thing I knew was that I got a phone call from one of the TV stations wanting an interview, you know, one of those phone interviews where they have this screen with what is supposed to represent a sound recording meter going up and down, not in synch with the voices. I decline the opportunity to promote my business. This was a mistake. When I turned on the TV to watch the mid-day news bulletin the story stated that I had been with her when she fell, and it was slanted in such a way as to suggest that there was something of significance about this fact. It must have been a slow news day or something, while I was fending off callers, they had contacted Bert, and he was telling them a highly exaggerated account of how I had risked life and limb, to scale at least fifty metres down an almost vertical cliff face and rescue her. In the eyes of the world I was suddenly a hero. Late afternoon the first of the news choppers arrived complete with camera crew and a talking head presenter, armed with a pad of questions that she wanted to ask. I couldn't avoid them so had to stand in front of the pub saluting flies from my face as she asked her inane questions. "Tell us in your own words Mr Roberts, what happened this morning?" The Bush Publican "Mrs Wellings had hired me as a guide to take her around to take a series of photos of the area. We were up on a ridge top taking pictures of the dawn light when she slipped and fell. When I reached her she was unconscious and had a broken leg. I splinted her leg and got her out of there and back down here for the Flying Doctor to pick up. That was pretty much it." "We have been told that she fell some fifty metres." "That would be Bert, you can't believe everything he tells you, he'd even tell you that he's good looking. It was a fall and a simple straight forward rescue, end of story." "How well did you know Mrs Wellings?" She was fishing for me to say that there was more to this than just a guide and client relationship. "How well can you get to know someone in two days?" "So there was nothing more to it than that?" "No, even if there was, do you think that I would tell the world. She's a married woman for crying out loud, what kind of sleaze do you take me for? If you aren't going to change the subject this interview is over." It was over. She did a throw to camera that I didn't stick around for and the whole shooting match took off back to the smoke. The other channels were a little more civilized but got little more from me. I did get a couple of interesting phone calls just as I was sitting down for a quiet drink late in the afternoon. Deb was bustling about getting dinner for me and the last of the TV crews who had decided that if they stuck around they might get a better story. They got a feed and had several drinks before heading back to town. I answered the phone to be confronted by a blast from the past. "Hi David, it's Stacey." Christ, the ex. "How are you?" "I'm fine, couldn't be better in fact." "That's good." "Why are you ringing me?" "I just called to see how you were, and to say that I'm sorry for walking out on you like I did." "And?" "Well, I have been thinking about you lately, and was wondering . . . " "The answer is no." "Don't you want to discuss this a little, to think about it?" "I've thought about it, believe me I've thought about it. Every time that sleazebag comes in here to take my order I'm reminded of what you did. I do not want to discuss this with you, I do not require any thinking time. The answer is no." "Oh." The line went dead. The hide of the woman. The next call was from Peter Wellings. "Mr Roberts, Peter Wellings, I'm calling to thank you for rescuing my wife. I understand that there was some little risk involved and I thought that I would compensate you for your efforts." "What did you have in mind in regards to compensation?" "How about a thousand dollars?" "No." "So, you want more, is that it?" "No, I don't want any of your money. I did nothing more or less than any other person would do to help someone that's in a spot of bother." "Then there is nothing in what the media is suggesting then?" "That's the real reason that you rang isn't it? You want to see if I was shagging your wife so that you can somehow worm your way back into her life. She told me what you had done, and mate, you deserve everything that's coming to you." This time it was me that ended the conversation. I tossed and turned all night and woke still tired the next morning. Breakfast tasted as bad as I felt, I had burnt the toast and somehow destroyed the coffee, how anyone can do that with instant I don't know, but it tasted like shit, not that I know what shit tastes like. I was looking forward to starting time at the bar when the phone rang. "Hi Dave here." "Hi Darling." "Who is this? Hi Di, how are you feeling?" I added quickly before she got the wrong idea. "I'm fine, better than fine actually, I'm sitting at home with my computer looking over our photos. The good news is that I've told Peter to piss off and never come back." "Yeah, he rang here yesterday fishing to see if what the media was hinting at was true. I told him nothing." "I didn't think you would. I'm working from home and I'll have the layout for the brochure finished in about a week. As soon as that's done and it comes off the press, I'm taking leave and heading for my most favourite place in this world, and my most wonderful man." "I can't wait. Your 4WD should be back in town tomorrow of the next day, I told Rocky to store it for you, you won't be able to drive it for a while anyway, but if you don't want to pay for the storage I'll tell them to take it around to your place." "Would you do that?" "Of course. Rocky will be here tomorrow and it'll take him a day or two to get down there. Depending on when he leaves here, you could get it as early as tomorrow. Now. Tell me, how's that beautiful leg of yours going?" "It's doing fine, everyone has told me that you did a wonderful job on it. Darling. I wish you were here." "So do I, almost as much as I wish you were here, I can't stand the city, but for you I'd put up with it for a while." "But you have your thriving business to run, you can't just up and leave that, can you?" "I could, but I have this feeling that if I wait long enough, you'll come here." "What gives you that idea?" "A little bird told me that you loved me." "You can't believe everything you hear from someone who's delirious from pain, can you?" "I suppose not." I gave a loud sniff, "But I love you so much, and I thought that you loved me." "Stop snivelling. Of course I love you. Take care and don't go looking at any backpackers, will you." "I promise to be a good boy. 'Bye Darling." My day felt so much better now. The loading of Dianne's 4WD was a logistic nightmare. There was only just enough room on one of Rocky's trailers to fit it, and we had no way of lifting it on. I got the bright idea of using my car trailer to get it closer in height to the trailer tray, but we were still a little low, then Bert had the idea for me to drive up onto this low bank opposite where the track met the road and then Rocky could back his trailer up to the bank and we put my ramps between my trailer and his and we should be able to get it on. We still had to build a small ramp out of rocks to give it just that little lift that we needed, but after a lot of head scratching and hard work, we had it on and securely lashed down with chains. The three of us adjourned to the bar for a quick cleansing ale before Rocky took off with his load, and Bert went back to whatever he was doing. That job was out of the way, now I'll have to find something else to keep me occupied. Time dragged as only time can drag when you're desperately missing someone. We talked every day and she was missing me as much as I missed her, which made us both feel lonelier. She was more mobile and was going in to work, but didn't seem happy about something. It wasn't her husband, he was right out of the picture and really having a hard time of it, he'd lost his job for obvious reasons, his boss's wife begged and pleaded for a reconciliation, claiming that Peter was the instigator of the affair and she thought that he was only using her. This left Peter with no job, a girlfriend that now hated him and a wife that hated him even more. Tough titties, that's what I say. A month after she had gone back to town we were talking. "What's the matter?" I asked her. "It's nothing, just missing you more than I realised that I would. I wish that I was there with you right now, feeling your strong arms around me, your lips against mine and the anticipation of your cock inside me, it's making me wet. Darling, can't you get away for a day? Please." "I'll see what I can do, I'll speak with Deb tonight and see if she's prepared to look after the place for a few days. Even one day with you is better than what we have now." "You say the nicest things. I hope that you have good news for me tomorrow." Deb was okay with looking after the place, but not until Monday at the earliest. "I'll do it, but there is no way that I can cope with the weekend mob on my own, so it will have to wait until Monday at the earliest." "Fair enough. I'll let Dianne know when I speak with her tonight." Time dragged on. I was in the cool room checking stock the next day when I heard the bell on the bar ringing. It was unusual enough for me to go straight out. As I entered the bar I was attacked, knocked to the ground and kissed to death. "My darling, I couldn't wait a moment longer. I just had to be here with you." I didn't bother trying to get to my feet, I was too comfortable where I was, here on the floor with my wonderful Dianne on top of me kissing me and dribbling tears of joy onto my face. We heard the back door open and someone walk in. "Thought I'd find you in this position." It was Deb. "Bert rang me when he saw Dianne's 4WD drive by at a hundred klicks and pull up out font. How are you Dianne? Don't bother getting up." "I'm fine, I'm better than fine, I'm happier than I have a right to be. I've tossed in my job and I'm moving up here to be with my man." "What, why?" I asked. Dianne got off me and I scramble to my feet. "It all came about because of your pictures. The bastards at work had them blown up and on display in the foyer of the office when I went back to work. When I told them that they had no right to use them without your permission, they came the heavy, telling me that, as I'd hired you as a guide, you were officially an employee, and any work produced by an employee becomes the property of the employer, to whit them. I saw red and told them to stick their job up their arse, and to send my entitlements up here, where I'll be now living. How does that grab you for a spectacular exit?" "Pretty good. How would you like some good news?" "Good news, what good news?" "They have no rights to those pictures, and having displayed them without permission, they are liable to pay compensation for breach of copyright." "How do you work that out?" "Did you ever pay me any money? Was there ever an employment contract signed? No. Therefore I am not and have never been an employee of the Tourism Department, and because of that, I am the sole owner of the copyright to those pictures." "So how can we fight them? They'll get all of their lawyers on board and argue the opposite." "I will draft them a letter, written in my former, but still official capacity, and in the very best legalese full of 'parties of the first part' etcetera, spelling out the legal situation, and demanding an obscene amount of compensation be paid to the injured party, to whit me." "Wait a minute, what former capacity?" "I was, and still am, a Lawyer. I haven't practised for some time, but I still know my job. They will be taking on more than they can chew if they try it on with me." "Is there anything that you can't do?" "I can't stand here for much longer, looking at you, without holding you and kissing you and doing all sorts of wonderful things to you." "Go on you two," Deb said, "the reason that I came over, is so that you can catch up on your loving without interruption, so go to bed, and don't come out until you've well and truly finished." Glossary of Terms. Big reds. Large reddish coloured kangaroos, common in the desert country. Bloke. A person of the masculine persuasion. Buckley's and none. Near as dammit to no chance. Cark it. To die, snuff it, shuffle off this mortal coil. Donga. Portable accommodation blocks used on mine and constructions sites. Freeze your tits off. Bloody cold. Gob. Mouth, cake hole. Have a slash. To urinate, piss, splash the boots etc. Klicks. Kilometres per hour. Piss: 1. To urinate. E.g. To piss against the fence. 2. Alcoholic beverage of any sort. E.g. On the piss. Piss off. To leave, fly the coop. Pissed off. Angry. Pissing down. Raining really hard. Randy. Highly sexed. Root. To have sexual relations with, to fuck. Sanger. A proper sandwich is made up of ingredients of choice between two slices of bread of choice. NOT in a bun or one of those long skinny things from Subway. Shag. See root. Sheila. A person of the feminine persuasion. Shot. Broken, busted, unserviceable. Spit. Barbeque rotisserie. Stubbie: 1. 375ml beer bottle. 2. Brand of work shorts. Toorak tractor. A semi-serious 4WD vehicle, used more for driving the kids to and from school and the shopping. These vehicles seldom, if ever, venture off the bitumen. The Toorak refers to an affluent suburb in Melbourne. Tough titties. Gee I'm so sad, not. Tucker. Food Uni joint. Universal joint on a vehicle drive shaft, designed to allow the joint to bend in any direction. Ute (s). Multi-purpose vehicle, the front half being from a normal family sedan, with a tray body stuck on the back. This came about in the 1930's in response to a request from a farmer's wife who wanted a vehicle she could drive to church on Sunday and take the pigs to market on Monday.