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Signs Ch. 01

By: S-Des



This story is told in a series of flashbacks from the main character's perspective. It could only be told in that manner, so in order to avoid confusion, I've used directional arrows to separate the shifts, back for the past, forward for the present. Hopefully this will help avoid confusion and make it a smooth read for everyone. 

Thanks as always to my editor Kev, and my friends who helped me to find the right words. A very special thanks to J for giving me permission to tell the story. She is and always will be my inspiration.  

>>>>>>>

"Next stop, Midway airport," the shuttle bus driver announced cheerfully as the doors opened. 

Jay regarded him dubiously, but forced a smile, feeling guilty for not returning the man's polite attempt at cheerfulness at such an ungodly hour. He picked up his bags and stepped wearily into the vehicle. 

"I thought all the stops were the airport?" he replied sarcastically, immediately regretting the tone. 

The driver seemed not to notice as he continued. "Where are you flying out to?"

"Dallas," Jay answered, trying to sound more upbeat.

"Well, you sure picked a great time for it," the man said, peering intently through the windshield to make out the road through the falling snow. "It's supposed to be below zero for a week. Is it business, or pleasure?"

"Pleasure," Jay mumbled robotically, sounding like it was anything but. He stared out into the inclement weather, too lost in his thoughts to acknowledge the driver's curious glance. 


His thoughts drifted back to long before the trips started, all the way to his high school days. It was not a happy time; Jay had always felt like an outsider. He just didn't have an interest in many of the normal things his peers did. Parties, drinking, social acceptance, they all seemed somehow unimportant. Despite that, a part of him yearned for that kind of "normal" life. 

This dichotomy kept him in a constant state of unease around people. Jay had friends during that time but none very close, and although he dated a few girls he never felt comfortable in his own skin. He was drawn to athletics, but only excelled in the ones that didn't earn the respect of his peers. In the small town he grew up in, if you didn't play football, you weren't really an athlete. 

Jay finally found his niche after he graduated, knowing the first time he picked up a guitar, it was what he was meant to do. Not only was it more socially acceptable than his previous hobbies, there was something about it that made him feel alive. When life simply became unbearable, he found solace in the endless hours of practice that honed his skills. 

During this time there were dozens of relationships (one of the perks of being a musician). Several were quite passionate, but none rose above the level of fleeting fancy. Of the ones that were even remotely more serious, most ended badly, further convincing Jay that there was simply something different about him...something that kept him from finding that normal life he used to dream of wistfully.

He began to believe there really was no such thing as a soul mate, or even someone who shared his passions enough to form a lifelong bond. 

As music became more of a hobby and less of a career choice, he plunged headfirst into the business world, putting himself through school and working his way into better jobs and a more secure financial position. Still, it seemed to do nothing to help him figure out his place in the world. The milestone of reaching his mid-thirties with nothing having changed was reason for concern.

Just after turning 35, he started dating a woman he'd been friends with for several years. She was intelligent, attractive, and high-spirited, but after a handful of dates, he instinctively knew this was doomed to fail like all of his relationships. Still, he felt compelled, to stick it out to be sure. For several months they dated, while both tried not to acknowledge the obvious limitations of their feelings and compatibility. 

When she informed him that she was pregnant, it was a cold slap to the face. He felt like he had finally woken up. He told himself the time for dreams and fantasies was over. It was time to be responsible and accept life for what it was.

They married soon after, and he found that sharing her pregnancy was far more fulfilling than the selfish pursuits he had always engaged in. The birth of his daughter was the first moment of true, untainted joy he had ever felt. It was to be short lived, unfortunately, as things went bad quickly with his wife. They split up before Cindy turned one, and then things went from bad to worse. 

Her friends encouraged her to fight him every step of the way, and the result was Jay facing bankruptcy by the time the process worked itself out. This, combined with massive layoffs in the local job market, left him in a hole he didn't know if he'd ever recover from. Adding insult to injury, his now ex-wife Maggie used every excuse possible to punish him with threats of taking away his daughter. It left him defensive and withdrawn, vowing to never trust a woman again.

>>>>>>>

"Here you go son," the driver chirped, snapping him from his reverie. "I wish I could trade places with you right now." 

Jay smiled ruefully, nodding to the man, then stepped off the bus wondering how sure he'd be about that statement it if he only knew the whole story.

He entered the terminal and was greeted with a blast of hot air. Grateful for the respite from the unforgiving cold, Jay bathed in it for several moments before stepping inside and checking his watch. 

"Still an hour before I can get started," he mumbled to himself. Finding the nearest vending machine, he grabbed a soda, then walked to the bench that faced the entrance. He sat down, put his earphones in, and turned up his MP3 player, trying to block out the intense feeling of déjà vu.


Five long years after his divorce, he met Hannah. He was visiting an internet chat room, posting on a meaningless thread when he saw her avatar: an amazingly beautiful black & white picture of a nude woman from behind, taken on a bed. Jay was skeptical the gorgeous body really belonged to the person who posted it, but began paying closer attention to her comments to find out more. Usually shy about approaching women (especially ones he found truly beautiful), he felt uncharacteristically compelled to get to know her better.

Hannah was friendly, but understandably cautious, choosing to flirt outrageously in anonymous character, while disclosing very little about herself. After weeks of keeping him at arms length, he saw his first real opportunity when she finally spoke about the problems relating to her own divorce and how it affected her. Jay immediately saw how much her situation mirrored his own. He started noticing the melancholy undertones of her posts. It convinced him more than ever that he had to find a way to reach her, to show her he was someone she could trust. 

Slowly he noticed a change in her behavior toward him. She began pursuing him for casual conversations, both on the board and via private message. He quickly developed a comfort level about more personal subjects, and found her quite receptive. One thing he noticed immediately was her sheer sexuality. She was unafraid to broach any subject, and talked freely about her own experiences, many of which made Jay realize just how tame his adventures with sex had been.

At the same time, he was touched by her sensitivity and vulnerability. Her commitment to her kids was extraordinary. As a friend, she had a quality that put everyone around her at ease. More than anything, Jay was moved by the way she made him feel about himself. She clearly knew what she wanted, but thoroughly enjoyed letting him dictate the topics of their discussions, dropping hints about her preferences that he picked up effortlessly. 

As the days went by, their conversations escalated in intensity. With no topics off limit, their obvious affection for each other grew rapidly. One Saturday night, Jay went on a date with another woman. Despite it going well, he found himself counting the minutes until he would get home to see if Hannah was online so he could discuss it with her. Although she inquired about details, she later confessed to finding herself a little jealous, wanting to do something to claim Jay for herself. She gave him her phone number during the conversation, showing she was finally comfortable enough to let him completely in to her life.

The next night, they had a long discussion that led to her touching herself to orgasm while he instructed her on what he wanted her to do. It was a first for him, yet felt as natural as anything he had done with any woman before. After they hung up the phone, he sat alone for hours reliving the experience, more certain than ever that he had to see her, no matter what. The only question in his mind was, did it have more to do with the sex, or was it real emotions he had developed for this woman he had never met?

Within a week, the calls had become nightly, and the sexual nature had become a staple. They had progressed to video chats as well, with him watching this amazing creature pleasure herself with an abandon that left him breathless. He was stunned to realize their anonymous conversations felt as intense as any sexual encounter he had experienced in a previous relationship. In fact, it was far more than most of them. 

During the next couple of weeks, the daily calls continued, with increased openness about each other's lives, hopes and dreams. Jay found they shared many interests, but none more than their openness to experimentation with sex. Hannah had led a conservative lifestyle for most of her adult life and was anxious to break out and try new things. 

Her enthusiasm for him exerting control over their sexual relationship pushed Jay to come up with new and more exotic fantasies. Whether it was sex in public, group sex, bondage, or especially lesbian sex, she responded enthusiastically to everything he tried. In fact, the more brazen he was with his language or description of a sexual act, the more she responded. This gave him a sense of freedom, which led to a closeness that had been missing in so many of his failed relationships. 

Finally he told her he wanted them to meet. To his relief, she was equally as enthusiastic, and they immediately made plans. The problem was one of distance. She lived in Dallas, he in Chicago. Luckily his new job allowed him more free time as well as more money for things like a last-minute vacation. They chose to stay at a hotel to avoid complications with her family or ex, and to shield the kids from the new relationship...especially since neither was quite sure what to expect. 

The weeks preceding the trip seemed to pass in slow motion. Although the wait was agonizing for both of them, it hit Jay especially hard. He already knew he was in love with her and had intricately planned out the details of how to tell her. It was not something he said easily, only using those words with a few women in his life, and none with the conviction he felt toward Hannah. 

The clock slowly ticked forward the night before his flight. Minutes seemed like hours as he lay in bed staring first at the ceiling, then at the clock, then back to the ceiling. He managed to get about an hour of restless sleep before his alarm sounded. Quickly he showered, then made sure he had packed everything, before heading out the door.

Because the flight was so early, the lines were surprisingly short. Jay smiled to himself as he approached the metal detectors, wondering what the reaction would be to some of the personal items he had brought. The female security guard pulled his bag to the side to check the items when it was flagged, only to blush as she discovered the negligee, massage oil, and vibrator he had purchased for his visit. 

The guard repacked the bag and gave a knowing smile as Jay took it from the conveyor belt. He tried to suppress a laugh as he walked to the gate, where he only had another hour to kill before the flight left.

>>>>>>>

"It was just like today," Jay thought, disquieted by the feelings the memory stirred. "It would be so much easier if it wasn't. 

He was startled by an announcement over the loudspeakers that the ticket kiosks were open, and customers could begin making their way through the airport. With a sigh, he stood and made his way towards the escalator, letting his mind wander to a happier time.


His first flight to see Hannah was uneventful but frustrating. Time continued to drag, plus he was starting to feel the effects of not sleeping the night before. He managed to catch a couple of short naps which were filled with a mixture of both wonderful and anxious dreams. Despite his certainty about his feelings for her, he couldn't shake the nagging worry that the reality couldn't possibly live up to the fantasy. 

The flight landed, and he texted Hannah to let her know he had arrived. They had talked about the possibility of fooling around before they made the long drive to the hotel, so she was parked in the underground lot in case the opportunity for naughtiness presented itself. 

He went down to the baggage claim where he quickly retrieved his bags, then turned to look for her. For several moments he scanned the area, seeing travelers greeted by loved ones. The anticipation grew as time ticked by until he felt himself trembling. Finally he spotted her about fifty feet away, walking towards him. She was exquisite, with light brown hair just past her shoulders and a thin, athletic body that was every bit as incredible as her photos. She was wearing a brown top that tied on the sides, and a flowery gypsy skirt, one he had specifically requested she wear. 

"Hey you," she said pleasantly, but somewhat stiffly. Leaning in, she gave him a hug, then a quick peck on the lips. "Come on, we have to hurry." Jay was surprised at how distracted she seemed.

"Wait," he said, capturing her by her shoulder and pulling her back against his chest. He lowered his face to hers, covering her mouth with his softly. Her lips parted invitingly, causing him to react with a hunger that left no doubt how desperately he wanted her. As he nibbled and teased at her lips, he felt her tongue searching for his. He reciprocated, pulling her against his chest tighter, his excitement now unmistakable. Jay picked her up off of the ground, allowing his thigh to press against her groin as he gently rocked her to a rhythm that they both felt. 

"Seriously," she pleaded, pulling away. "We have to go. I'm having...issues." 

Jay chuckled, recalling numerous conversations about how wet she tended to get while excited. "Well, if it's an emergency," he teased. 

With an exasperated glare, Hannah led him by the hand to the elevators and, grabbed the first one available. The two stepped inside, finding themselves alone. As soon as the doors closed, Jay dropped his bags and pinned her against the glass wall, resuming their kiss. He dropped one hand down to the edge of her skirt, and slid it up the smooth skin of the inside of her thigh. He was delighted to find that she wasn't wearing panties.

"You weren't kidding," he teased, his fingers meeting a very warm and wet destination. She blushed, and turned away, but he caught her cheek with the fingers of his other hand, bringing her face back towards his. "You are amazing," he said in genuine admiration, sliding a long, slender finger teasingly along the now soaked opening. She arched her neck, letting her head fall back, and he nibbled at her neck as he plunged a finger deeply inside her. 

The ding of the elevator warned them the doors were about to open, so he stepped away, making sure she watched as he slid the finger across his lips, his tongue darting out to catch every drop.

"We have to go, now!" she insisted, with no hint of humor.

Jay chuckled to himself again, following her to the parking lot, then to her car. He quickly surveyed the surroundings wanting to do more, but decided the section was too busy. They quickly got into the car and backed out. His hand immediately found its way back to her thigh, stroking it softly as she drove. 

Jay was taking great pleasure at the obvious discomfort he was putting her through, knowing that every second he kept it up was heightening her arousal. When they reached the tollgate at the exit, he refused to remove his hand, simply pulling her skirt over it instead. 

Traffic was pretty heavy on the way to the hotel, so he used every second of the trip to continue to tease her and potentially allow other drivers to see what he was doing. By the time they arrived, he knew Hannah was crawling out of her skin. They grabbed only what they absolutely needed, then hurried inside. They walked to the front desk, where they were greeted by a lovely young Asian woman. 

"Can I get your reservation number," she asked pleasantly, completely unaware that Jay's hand was now stroking the back of Hannah's thigh, inexorably working its way up. 

When he felt her hand stop his, Jay leaned close and hissed sternly, "Let go, now." 

She immediately complied, and he slid his hand up the rest of the way to her ass. He squeezed and whispered into her ear.

"Maybe we should invite her to the room." Hannah shivered perceptibly at the suggestion, and Jay began to slide his fingers forward, teasing her labia. 

When the clerk turned away, he slid a finger as deeply into her as he could, then whispered, "Would you like that? How would it feel to have her tongue gliding across your clit, her fingers sliding inside you?"

Hannah ground against his hand as her body sagged into his. For a moment, Jay thought she might orgasm standing right there at the front desk. However, the woman returned and he discreetly pulled away, wondering if someone would be enjoying the view from the security camera behind them later. 

The moment the door to the room closed behind them, they dropped the bags and fell into each other's embrace. Without warning, Jay pinned her against the wall, sinking to his knees. He pulled at the tie on the side of the skirt, allowing it to work itself free, the material sliding down her legs as if in slow motion. 

Jay took a moment to stare at what he had only seen via picture and video until that moment. Her pubic hair was shaved clean, giving him a clear look at her outer lips, swollen with arousal. He leaned forward, slowly sliding his tongue across them, careful to avoid her clit. Hannah moaned in frustration as he touched every inch of her skin except her most sensitive spot. He lifted one of her legs and placed it on his shoulder, opening up her most private area to his hungry mouth. 

His tongue immediately pushed between her lips and inside her. Her hands clenched in his hair as he repeated the stabbing motion over and over. His hands squeezed her ass, then moved up to her breasts. He pinched, then twisted her nipple harshly, knowing her affinity for rough sex. As her moaning reached a crescendo, he slid his mouth up, covering the top of her pussy, and circled her clit with his tongue. 

"Oh baby, yes!" she cried, finally close to getting the release her body craved. 

He sucked her clit between his lips, then released it, drawing an even stronger shiver from her. He used the technique faster and faster, letting her body help him find the right rhythm to use. Her breath became gasps as the unmistakable signs of an orgasm started. He pinched harder as he sucked against her clit and held it, flicking across with his tongue as roughly as he could.

She didn't say a word as she came, the only signs were her body's uncontrollable shaking and her fingers clenching even tighter. It continued longer than he expected, finally culminating in her pushing him away as the sensations turned ticklish and her moans turned to fits of giggling.


Signs Ch. 01



Jay reluctantly let go and kissed his way up her body, stopping at her neck. He quickly slid off his pants as he stood, then locked his hands under her thighs. His tongue ran back and forth across her neck as he picked her off the ground and leaned her against the wall. Sliding the tip of his cock against her sex, he quickly found her opening and lowered her, savoring the feel of her heat as he entered her. 

Unable to achieve the angle he desired, Jay turned and unexpectedly tossed her to the bed, where she landed with a surprised shriek. Hannah gave him a lecherous grin as he advanced on her, pushing her down. He grabbed her leg at the knee and lifted it high, sliding forward and entering her completely with one thrust, thrilling at her satisfied groan. 

Their kissing intensified as he moved inside her, varying his strokes to gauge her responses. First a shallow one, followed by a deep one, then turning his hips from side to side, Jay tried to touch every inch of her. When he had learned what he wanted, he pulled out and urged her to her hands and knees, again sliding deeply inside her. Knowing that he didn't have long, he reached forward and grabbed her by the base of her hair, pulling her head up as his hips slammed into hers harder and faster. 

She responded with the same unmistakable signs as before, letting him know that she was close as well. He fucked her mercilessly, saying things to her he would have never dared to any other woman. Each comment seemed to heighten her arousal, as well as his. He released her hair and grabbed her by the shoulder as he pushed as deeply as he could inside her. She dropped to her stomach, taking him with her as they both came, the quaking of their bodies melting into one intense, continuous, pleasurable wave. 

The minutes ticked by as they silently enjoyed each other's warmth. Jay nibbled the back of her neck, as he marveled at how she had responded to him. Everything he tried seemed to be perfect. Whatever he said seemed to be what she wanted to hear. Despite her telling him that she had never cum more than twice in a day, she had just done so in a matter of minutes, with someone she had only met in person an hour before. He basked in the emotion that fact provided him, unsure why it felt so important.

Hannah groaned in protest when he finally shrank enough that he slipped out of her. She rolled over and they kissed again, this time tenderly and without any hint of rushing. He moved his chest, delighting in the feel of her sweat-slicked body beneath him. Jay suddenly pulled back and looked deeply into her eyes.

"I love you, Hannah," he said softly, watching her face for the reaction he hoped would come. Instead she said nothing, pulling him closer to kiss. Taken off guard by her reaction, he wondered if he might have spoken too quickly. 

"After all," he scolded himself, "we just met. It's not like I have the right to expect her to be as sure about this as I am." 

Not wanting her to feel uncomfortable, he passionately returned her kisses, taking comfort in how right she felt against him. He knew if she needed more time, he could wait. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she would feel the same way too, eventually. He had never been so sure of anything involving a woman before.

They held each other and made love for hours until exhaustion overtook them both.

>>>>>>>

"Place any items from your pockets as well as your shoes in the bins," Jay heard one of the guards announce as he stood in line for the metal detector. He couldn't resist grinning; thinking about how many times he'd heard that over the last couple of years. Almost every time preceded some sort of incident that was amusing and/or embarrassing. This time there were no surprises in the bag, nothing to explain at the counter. He simply walked through and was on his way.

He arrived at his gate a full hour before his flight was due to leave. There was nothing on the TV, and he couldn't imagine working up an appetite for breakfast. With nothing else to do, he sat in a seat far from the customer service desk, with his back to the wall. 

Across from him was a young couple, very obviously in love. He watched the way the man (actually, more of a boy) couldn't stop touching his very attractive girlfriend. Jay idly wondered what would have happened if he'd met Hannah when they were younger and everything wasn't so complicated. Would things have turned out differently? Was he even sure he was right about what was going to happen? 


After a full evening of having the most amazing sex he had ever imagined, Jay awoke early the next morning. He hadn't slept well, but instead of getting up, spent much of the time watching Hannah sleep and gently caressing her. He couldn't get over the fact that someone so sweet and vulnerable could also be incredibly tough, utterly open, and be so wildly sexual. She was unafraid to be who she was, and never apologized for pursuing what she wanted.

She seemed so different from him. Jay was the kind of person who was exactly what he appeared from the outside. It had been the death of many relationships for him. He was a nice guy, an honest and loving person, but seemed to lack the edge that so many women craved. There had been a few good relationships, but even those left him more relieved than disappointed when they ended. He couldn't explain why, but it just never felt right. It was always like he was someone playing a role in an attempt to find happiness. He assumed the problem must be with him, but had never found a way to address it that made a difference.

The sheet over her had been shrugged off at some point during the night, exposing her breast. Jay absently brushed his fingers across it, entranced by her soft, fair skin. As his fingers softly grazed her nipple, it hardened, causing an unexpected rush of feelings from him. She was sensitive about her body, despite how amazing she looked. Her husband hadn't been appreciative, and had taken every possible opportunity to attack her for the very things that made her irresistible to Jay. 

Her nipples seemed impossibly large for her breasts. Jay loved the way she enjoyed having them treated roughly, despite their sensitivity...the way that they became erect the moment he paid any attention to them. It was like a metaphor for Hannah as a sexual being. She was easy to arouse, became incredibly wet at even a nasty suggestion, and could orgasm in almost any way imaginable. She had even told him once of cumming while being spanked in a protracted session with a former boyfriend, despite no sexual contact. 

All this ran through Jay's mind as he leaned forward, unable to stop himself from softly biting at her nipple. After a moment, he felt her hand touch his face.

"Hey you," she said groggily. "Why are you up so early?"

"Sorry, couldn't sleep. It must be the company." He took the opportunity to kiss his way down her body, determined to give her the kind of wake-up call he thought she deserved. 

After they made love quietly, they dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast, then out for a dip in the pool. They returned to the room just after noon. He could tell she had something planned because of the suspicious way she was acting on the way to the room. When the door closed behind them, she turned and her expression became serious.

"I want you to take a shower," she said mysteriously, with a twinkle in her eye. "I have a surprise for you." 

Wondering at what she might do next, he obeyed, taking his time to make sure she had a chance to be ready. When he stepped out, the room was almost completely dark, except for a half-dozen candles placed on furniture around the bed. She was wearing the negligee he had brought as a present; a white lace bustier with a matching g-string, complete with thigh-high stockings and a garter belt. 

Jay swallowed hard, staring in open admiration of her beauty. She smiled at the implied compliment, then led him by the hand to the bed, where she pulled off his towel and gently pushed him onto his back. 

"Don't move," she chided. Hannah began by kissing, then letting her lips trail over his cheeks, then down to his neck. She moved to his chest, where she licked, then sucked his nipples. Despite his warnings, she couldn't help herself and bit down gently (by her standards).

"Ow!" he yelped. "Not so hard!" 

"Oh, you big baby," she scolded, then continued to kiss lower. She ran her tongue around his navel, before moving to the side to avoid his erection. He could feel her hot breath on his cock, but she refused to touch it with her tongue, although briefly sliding her hand across it as she worked her mouth down to his thighs. She spent several agonizing minutes avoiding direct contact with the one thing he wanted her to touch, while showering attention on areas he didn't normally consider erogenous. 

When she finally brushed her lips across his prick, he moaned in both relief and appreciation. Her tongue slid across the sensitive skin, running up and down the length. Just when he thought she'd take him into her mouth, she reversed directions and slid down to his scrotum, taking first one ball, then the other between her wet lips. 

"You definitely better not bite now," he groaned in mock admonition. 

"Then you better behave," she mumbled, beginning to work her way lower. Jay's hips involuntarily came off the bed as she ran her tongue lower, tracing circles over the sensitive area below his scrotum. He was shocked when she dipped lower; letting it trail across his anus. At first it was so lightly that he wasn't sure she did it on purpose, but then it returned insistently. His hips launched further off the bed as he moaned loudly, drawing a chuckle from her.

"Oh...I like that sound," she giggled, then redoubled her efforts. Jay lost control, grabbing the sheets with his hands and squeezing helplessly as she tortured him with her amazing technique. Just when he began to wonder if he could orgasm simply from her doing that, she moved back to his balls, then up his shaft. She took the tip of his cock into her mouth and ran her tongue around it several times before allowing it to enter. 

He gave a satisfied groan, encouraging her to take more into her mouth until she had swallowed almost the entire shaft. She bobbed her head up and down several times, then let it slip from between her lips and began stroking him. 

"I'm going to need to practice to get all the way down," she said, mischievously. 

"Don't let me stop you." 

Hannah looked up at him seriously. "Later. Right now I need this." She moved her body up rapidly, kissing him as her free hand snuck between them and rubbed the tip of his cock across her labia. She pushed down without warning, letting it slide inside her, then began move her hips without lifting. She stopped and made sure he was looking into her eyes. 

"I love you too, Jay," she cooed. "I'm sorry I didn't say it yesterday, but I had everything planned out already. You surprised me and I didn't know what to do. I hope you're not mad." 

Jay felt a sense of relief, mixed with appreciation for her being so concerned about his feelings.

"Of course I don't mind. I love you too." They held each other without moving for what seemed like forever, before she lifted her hips and slammed down on top of him. She repeated the action, groaning after each thrust. Slowly she increased her speed until it was a constant motion. The friction against his shaft was quickly pushing Jay toward a climax. He grabbed her hips and tried to push upward as he came, but she was not to be denied. She increased her speed, not stopping until he felt her body tense and her fingernails dig into his shoulders. 

She lay down against him, holding him as tightly as she could. 

"I love you so much," she moaned. Overwhelmed by his emotions, Jay could only reply in kind, realizing she had exceeded all of his hopes and expectations. 

>>>>>>>

The memory was so vivid it took Jay a moment to realize he had reached the end of the terminal, far past his gate. Chagrined, he turned and slowly made his way back. He wished there was a way to stop thinking about the past and quickly get there. He missed her touch more than he could believe. With a touch of sadness, he wondered if seeing her would allay his fears, or confirm them. Were the memories he was reliving a foreshadowing of the renewal of their bond, or a painful reminder of something that was hopelessly lost? 



Signs Ch. 02



This is the final chapter of the story. It is also being told in flashbacks, using direction arrows to indicate past from present. I'd like to thank Kev again for his editing help, as well as several good friends who offered wonderful advice. 

>>>>>>>

"Flight 473 to Dallas, now boarding."

The sudden announcement caught Jay by surprise. He realized that he had drifted off for a moment. He saw the couple, still beaming at each other, pick up their bags and get into the line. Shaking his head, he grabbed his bag and moved across the terminal to the rest room, where he hurried inside. He walked to the sink, where he filled his hands with cold water, then splashed his face. Looking up at the mirror, he was stunned to see a haggard, cheerless face staring back. 

"Geez, I look like a zombie," he mumbled to himself. "You've got to shake this off. You don't even know for sure." 

Afraid he might miss his flight, Jay rushed out of the rest room and back to the line, just in time to hand the woman his ticket and head down the rampway and into the plane. 

Once inside, he looked around and realized there were few remaining seats. He walked down the aisle, hoping to find something away from everyone, but it was too late. Once he reached the rear section, he saw the only open seat was a window one next to the couple he had observed at the gate. 

"Perfect," he thought bitterly. "Excuse me, is this one open?" he said as politely as he could muster. 

"Sure," the man said, stepping into the aisle to allow him to pass. "Be my guest." 

Jay nodded at his courtesy, feeling embarrassed that he was so ungracious about the couple's affection for each other. He squeezed past the woman and sat down, trying to look anywhere but at them. 

"Is this your first time to Dallas?" a sweet, feminine voice asked. 

Jay turned and took a moment to evaluate her. She was younger than he suspected, probably not out of her teens. Her lovely olive skin was complimented by her curly, jet-black hair. He couldn't read anything other than honest friendliness from her face, and felt a little guilty at begrudging the couple their happiness. 

He smiled, not feeling the need to force it. "No, I've gone there quite a bit." 

"For work?" she asked, sounding as sweet as she looked.

"No, my girlfriend lives there." 

"Really," she said, her interest level obviously piqued. "I didn't hear an accent. Do you live here or down there?" 

"I live here, but met her on the internet," he replied, the irritation returning to his voice. 

She didn't seem to notice. "That's amazing. Chuck and I are on our way to see his family. He came up here for school, which is how we met. They don't even know about me yet." She turned to her boyfriend and giggled. "I'm guessing it's a good thing they don't know all the details anyway," she said mischievously. They smiled at each other, sharing what was obviously a private joke. 

Jay returned her smile, wondering if the woman really was as wild as she seemed to think she was. He turned back to the window and closed his eyes, unable to stop himself from thinking about the past.


"Ok, you got to do things your way. Now it's my turn," Jay said to Hannah sternly. It had been several hours since their romantic moment, and he was ready to try something different. 

When they began dating, Hannah happily shared her love of bondage and submission. At first it was intimidating because Jay had never even blindfolded a woman before, let alone tied or spanked her. Hannah's previous boyfriend had introduced her to a wide variety of activities, with varying levels of submission. He was quite experienced, and quickly convinced her to trust him with anything he wanted to do. 

She was proud of the pictures from their sessions, with her tied and freshly punished. In one, the sweat glistened off her body as she knelt, her collar tied to a hook mounted on the wall, with every inch of her ass red from the beating she had taken with his hand, a whip, a paddle and a crop. She looked so amazingly sexy that Jay had even shared the picture with several friends, who were caught completely off guard. 

Despite his curiosity, he felt overwhelmed and out of his element. On the recommendation of a friend, he did some research and found numerous articles about the subject, detailing different approaches to the act. With Hannah's ex-boyfriend, there seemed to be little affection; instead he instilled in her a sense of need to please him by her submission. After thorough research, Jay thought he found a way that he was more comfortable with. He only hoped she would enjoy it as much. 

He knew how important it really was to her, despite her assurances that he didn't have to try it at all if he wasn't comfortable. Not only did he want to do it, he wanted to make it something she'd never forget. He told her to go change into her special outfit, the one she had brought specifically for that moment. 

Five minutes later, she walked out of the bathroom, literally taking his breath away. Hannah wore a white blouse, unbuttoned with the loose ends tied in a knot just above her stomach. A plaid mini-skirt barely concealed her bright pink panties. She had thigh high white stockings and was walking in four-inch heels. Her hair was done up in pigtails, and to top it off she was coyly running her tongue across a large, multi-colored lollypop. She was every fantasy he'd ever had as a boy (and the ones he tried not to have as a man). Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he quickly slipped into the role he had prepared. 

"Come over here," he ordered, mustering a stern tone that was surprisingly authentic. She walked over to him, and stood patiently waiting. "Don't move until I'm ready for you." 

He detected a shiver from her at the sudden change in his voice. He reached into his bag and pulled out a blindfold he had purchased in Chicago. He motioned for her to stand by the foot of the bed and fastened it over her eyes. 

"You've been bad, haven't you?" he hissed. 

"Yes," she answered in a meek voice. 

"Do you think you need to be punished?"

"Yes." 

"Do you think you've earned your punishment?" 

She hesitated, caught off guard by the question. "Y...Yes," she answered cautiously. 

"Well I don't," Jay growled. "You haven't proven yourself yet. I'm not going to waste my time until I know you're ready." 

He slipped off his shorts and grabbed her roughly by the hair, pulling her face against his already erect prick. 

"Suck my cock you little slut, and do it right." Jay was surprised that he was felt confident so quickly. Part of it was her enthusiastic reaction, but there was something else as well. 

Hannah opened her mouth obediently and began running her tongue along the tip of his prick.

"That's not sucking my cock, is it?" he said harshly. When she shook her head, he pulled back on her hair. She opened her mouth obediently and he shoved himself in. "Now suck it right." 

Without complaint, she allowed him to use her mouth, running her tongue across his shaft and attempting to let him go as deeply as he wanted. Jay watched her briefly for a reaction, making sure he was on the right path. When he was sure of her eager cooperation, he slid further into her mouth, letting the tip brush the back of her throat. He pulled out before sliding in deeper, testing her ability to take more. After several thrusts, he was satisfied she was ready for more.

He pulled away from her suddenly, his cock sliding from her mouth with an audible pop. He paced in front of her briefly, watching her become uncomfortable; wondering what might be coming next. 

Jay took a deep breath, and said in an angry voice, "So you think he fucks you better than I do?"

Hannah paused, momentarily confused, before realizing Jay was talking about her ex-boyfriend.

"No," she murmured, perplexed at the direction things were going. 

"No what?" he commanded. 

"No sir," she said meekly. 

"What about spanking? Do you think he knows how to punish you better than I do?"

"No sir," she answered, even quieter.

"I think you're lying," he hissed. "The way you talk about him, the pictures you like to show everyone...." Jay scowled at her. "You obviously think he is the one who knows how to punish you best."

"No," she protested, unsure where Jay was heading. 

"Get up," he ordered, pulling her up by the arm. She rose unsteadily, clinging to him for balance. Jay sat down on the bed and roughly pulled her down across his lap. "We'll see," he snarled.

He seized the bottom of her mini-skirt and flipped it up over her ass, exposing her panties. His fingertips traced the line where her panties met flesh, drawing a shiver from her. 

"So you think he knows how to do this better than me too, huh?" His hand drew back, then came down forcefully with a crack across one cheek. 

"Um," she whimpered, sounding more turned on than in pain. 

Jay caressed her ass with the palm of his hand, pressing hard enough to make her groin grind against his thigh. When he felt her hips begin to move on their own, he repeated the strike on the other cheek. This time her moan sounded like frustration at being denied either the pain or pleasure she sought. His palm returned to her ass. 

"Do you like that?" he queried. 

"Uh-huh," she moaned back, immediately moving her hips, which drew two quick slaps. 

"What did you say to me?" he bellowed, punctuating it with a firmer spank.

"Yes sir," she called out loudly, sounding genuinely remorseful. 

"Well you haven't earned a reward yet, have you?" he said, sounding displeased. He gave her a half-dozen more slaps, making sure to move them around to cover all the untouched areas. 

"Don't move," he warned, and grabbed her panties, sliding them roughly down to her knees. He returned his palm to her ass, now almost completely red, and rubbed it harder, drawing a louder moan from her. He could feel the wetness from her pussy across his thigh, beginning to run down his leg. 

"So you think he can spank you better than me?" he repeated, removing his hand. 

"Uh-uh," she grunted, trying to grind her hips without him noticing. 

"Excuse me?" he warned.

"No sir," she said, now sounding frustrated.

Jay ran his tongue across all of his fingers, then gave her a fast, light spank, which despite not having much force, caused a loud sound that ricocheted around the room and left a white handprint on her ass.

"OW!" she yelled, her body bowing across his lap. 

"I said don't move," Jay repeated forcefully. He applied several more stinging blows to accentuate the point. 

"Now that I've got her attention, it's time to get serious," he thought, any trace of concern about how she'd react having been assuaged. Jay stood her up, moved from the bed, then forced her to kneel, leaning her upper body across the mattress. He turned and retrieved a white whip with twenty-four tails from her bag. It was her favorite, made of a soft material that was lightweight, allowing it to snap loudly without as much force as some others. 

He turned back towards her, slowly dragging the whip across her reddened flesh. She moaned again, beginning to unconsciously move her hips but finding nowhere to achieve relief. Jay knew he had her where he wanted her, and wanted to keep her in that state without relief for as long as possible.

"Is this what you want?" he teased. 

"Yes sir," she groaned, her voice tinged with desperation. 

Jay tested the whip, cracking it above her several times, enjoying her visceral reaction to the sound and anticipation of the first swat. Finally he brought it down across her ass, leaving a darker red mark across her flesh. She whimpered, moving more wantonly. 

"I said stay still," he said angrily, bringing down the whip harder. 

"Uh," came the reply, this time sounding more like she was too focused on the sensations to verbalize. He repeated the strike over and over, making sure to cover every inch of her ass, but carefully avoiding her legs or lower back. When he thought she was ready, Jay stepped away and wiped the sweat from his forehead. 

"Alright, stand," he commanded. 

She rose unsteadily, reaching out to grab his arm for support. He walked her over to the bed, where he gently helped her sit. When she was ready, he went back to the bag and found the four restraints she had brought. 

"Get out of those clothes," he said flatly, his voice betraying no trace of emotion. Jay watched as she kicked off the panties before pulling the skirt and top off, then lay back down on the bed. He took her hand, slid the restraint around her wrist and fastened it, pulling the cord under the bed and tying it to a metal support. He repeated the procedure with the other arm, before moving to the foot of the bed. Grabbing both feet, he spread her legs, taking a moment to make her feel uncomfortable with the exposed position she was in. 

Jay fastened both feet with the restraints, then stepped back to admire his work. She was devastatingly sexy. Her body was drenched in sweat, the glistening of her sex betrayed her obvious arousal, and she continued to squirm in the faint hope of relieving her frustration. Jay was certain it was the single most erotic thing he'd ever seen. 

He reached toward the dresser, grabbing his camera. He looked at the LCD, shuddering at the images he was getting as he clicked over and over. 

"I want to remember this forever," he thought, staring in amazement at her act of complete surrender. "She is so beautiful. I can't believe I'm this lucky." At the same time, he knew how proud she was of her sexual side, and had no doubt she'd enjoy the photos as much as he would. Considering the distance between them, he knew they had to treasure every moment.

Moving to her side, he leaned close and whispered, "Are you almost ready to earn your reward?" Hannah licked her lips then nodded her head, seemingly too far gone for words. 

His fingers began running over her chest, softly but intent on touching every inch of skin. He didn't focus on any specific area, wanting to keep her in that state for as long as possible. Turning, he dragged them across her legs, moving down to her ankles before returning to her stomach. For several minutes he touched her without allowing her any relief from her fevered state. Her entire body trembled at his touch.

"Don't move," he cautioned, allowing his fingertips to brush across her labia. He felt her tense, but she obeyed his command. Letting his fingers wander between her lips, Jay stroked upwards, letting his fingertips briefly stroke her clit, before lowering them. He moved between her outstretched legs and lodged his cock at the entrance to her pussy. Pushing forward, he sank all the way inside her in one push, feeling the excess wetness forced from her body. 

Quickly he thrust into her a handful of times, then pulled out until only the tip was touching her. He paused, relishing the way her body quivered, anticipating him sliding back in, so he waited until she began to fidget. 

"Do you want me to fuck you?" he asked, speaking just loud enough for her to hear. 

"Yes," she moaned, trying to move her hips upward. 

"Then say it." 

"Say what?" she asked, sounding confused.

"Tell me how much you want me to fuck you." He slid about halfway in and stopped, waiting for her response. 

"I...I...can't," she stammered. 

"Then I can't fuck you," he said, slowly sliding out of her until his cock pulled free. 

She groaned in frustration. "What do you want me to say?"

"You know what I want. You have to beg me to fuck you until you cum." 

Hannah pulled against her bonds in frustration. Jay knew that it was difficult for her to beg, especially while turned on. During their phone sessions she admitted to liking the idea, but had difficulty finding the right words. It left her so frustrated that she usually said nothing; too embarrassed to participate. The articles he read indicated that it was key to find something your partner struggled with and push them in that area, denying them what they wanted most until they succeeded, or at least tried their best. Then it said the Dom needed to reward her efforts, letting her know how proud he was and how much he loved her. It wasn't the only way to approach BDSM, but it was one he felt was suited to him, which gave him the best chance of making it special for her.

After giving her several moments to let her frustration build, he leaned forward and ran his tongue up the inside of her thigh, narrowly avoiding her outer lips. Her body shuddered and she shifted, trying to force the contact. 

"I said stay still!" he scolded, raising his voice. He supported himself on one arm, then putting two fingers together, slapped lightly against her clit. The reaction was immediate as her body tensed, then lurched away. Her vocalizations however, didn't sound anything like displeasure. 

"If you can't beg me properly, then how are you ever going to prove you deserve to have me allow you to cum? 

Hannah groaned, unable to make herself form the right words, so he repeated the slap against her clit, once again making her jump. 

"I...said...I...want...to...hear...you...beg!" he reprimanded her, punctuating every word with another slap. Each strike caused her to strain against her bonds, but her moans made it obvious that it was due to her arousal. Jay decided she needed a break, so he got up and moved to her side. Grabbing her by the hair, he pulled her head up and rubbed his cock against her lips. 

"If you won't beg, then you're going make it up to me." Without hesitation, her mouth opened and he slid his cock between her lips. He immediately felt the difference in her technique, which had become wild and unrestrained. She sucked and licked so enthusiastically, the pleasure almost caused him to lose his hold on the moment. Shaking his head to regain control, he pulled away. 

"That's better," he cooed. "That's my girl." He reached down and massaged her clit with two fingers, sliding them down, until they found her entrance, causing her hips to rise off the bed. "Is this what you want?"

"Yes sir," came the barely audible reply. 

He rested his palm against her clit, rubbing it as his fingers slid in and out of her pussy. "Do you want to cum now?"

"Please...yes sir," she pleaded. 

"Are you ready to beg me properly?" She nodded her head slightly, and he removed his hand, then crawled back between her legs. Without warning he slid back inside her, did several quick pumps, then pulled out again until only the tip was touching her lips. 

"Are you ready to beg now?" he said sternly. 

She nodded, but again fumbled for the right words. He could tell how frustrated she was getting, but was set on holding out until she did what he wanted. He slid out of her, then leaned in and covered her clit with his mouth, running his tongue around, then across it. Fastening his lips around the nub, he sucked it into his mouth, letting his teeth brush it lightly. Hannah reacted so strongly that he thought she was going to cum immediately, so he backed off, eliciting another moan of protest.

"You know what I want," he said, keeping his tone even. "I want to hear it." 

"Please fuck me," she mumbled quietly, sounding embarrassed. 

He immediately positioned himself at the entrance to her pussy and pushed forward.

"What did you say?"

"Please sir...please fuck me. I need it so bad." 

"Do you want me to fuck you hard or gently?"

"Hard!" came the immediate response. "Please sir, fuck me hard." 

Jay pinched her nipple with his fingers while biting down on the other one as he fucked her in long, fast strokes. Her breathing turned to gasps and he knew she was close. He moved his mouth to hers, kissing and nibbling at her lips, trying to get her to the edge quickly. The entire situation had been so arousing he was afraid he wasn't going to last long enough. He groaned in frustration as he felt the beginnings of his orgasm. 




Signs Ch. 02



Knowing he needed to so something immediately, he moved his mouth close to her ear and whispered, "You're my little slut, aren't you? You love feeling my cock inside you. You're going to cum for me, aren't you, Hannah? I want to feel it. I want you to cum for me." 

With a shout that he was sure could be heard in the hallway, she came, her body tensing, shaking, and pulling against her bonds. Seconds later his own release followed, and he pushed as far into her as he could, savoring the clenching of her muscles during her orgasm. He held her as tightly as he could, listening to her breathing, her moans, and feeling closeness he had previously believed impossible. 

The weekend's events came crushing down on him as he fought to maintain his composure, trying to stay in character. 

"It's what she wants, what she needs," he told himself. He moved off of her and covered her with a sheet, then quickly released the restraints. Sliding under the sheet next to her, Jay began softly stroking her upper body with reassuring touches. 

"You were wonderful. You couldn't have been more perfect," he told her with complete sincerity. Holding her body as the shivers subsided and she transitioned into total relaxation, he felt a self-confidence that he couldn't remember ever experiencing. Feeling her post-orgasmic bliss meant more than any accolade she could have given him.

"I love you, baby," he said, feeling the meaning behind the words more than he ever had before.

>>>>>>>

The plane began to clear out as Jay waited patiently. Because of his location, he'd be the last person to get off the plane. He snuck a sideways glance at the young couple, still beaming at each other, and felt envious at the endless possibilities they had in front of them. As they walked toward the exit, he followed, watching the glances between them and the hand-holding. Even the bounce in their step screamed love. 

He sighed, letting them move ahead. Although his earlier annoyance had faded during the flight, he didn't have a desire to be around anyone so deliriously happy. Things were so confusing at that moment he didn't have the heart to think about anything...good or bad. He just wanted to make it to the hotel, grab a nap, then wait for Hannah to arrive. Even with everything telling him he was right, he was desperately hoping for the best. At the moment, it was easier to just not think about anything. 

After his bag arrived, Jay headed out to the shuttle area. There was a bus from his hotel due any minute so he walked to the nearest bench and sat. The sun beating down on him felt therapeutic after being in the freezing storm just a few hours earlier. It was nice, but waiting alone was another reminder that things were different this time. 

Although it wasn't her fault; Hannah had to work and it was the first time she wasn't there to meet him at the airport. Their greetings hadn't always been as passionate as the first one, but were all special to him; treasured memories he would often recall on nights when the distance from her weighed heavily on him. He was afraid, her being too busy was a perfect metaphor for what was yet to come. 

After the shuttle dropped him off, Jay quickly checked in and headed for his room. Part of him wanted to go for a dip in the pool, but after considering it, he decided it should wait until after Hannah arrived. Even with something so benign, he couldn't help but let his mind wander to the past. 


"OK, they'll be here in a couple of minutes," Hannah said, trying to suppress her annoyance. "He's such an asshole." 

"Relax," Jay tried to reassure her. "He's only a little late."

"If you don't think he's doing this on purpose, you're wrong," she replied, then stared off into the distance, fuming. 

Ronny, her ex-husband, constantly found ways to aggravate her. Sometimes they seemed harmless, like calling her for no apparent reason and trying to talk about his personal life, while sometimes they were insidious, like lying to her kids about what was going on between them. When it came to visiting them, the problem was purely one of selfishness. 

He was completely undependable about picking up the kids, or when he'd be dropping them off. Often, his last second changes of plans would suspiciously interfere with her plans. Twice in six months he tried to cancel at the last minute, which either altered well-planned visits with Jay, or at least led to extremely stressful confrontations between Ronny and Hannah, causing the visit to start off differently than they'd hoped.

This weekend, he had the kids for a couple of days, then was returning them early on Sunday. Hannah and Jay decided it would be the perfect opportunity to introduce him to the kids. They had seen each other on the web cam, and had talked a few times by phone, but it was especially important to Jay that things go smoothly. 

She had already met his daughter, Cindy during one of the few trips Hannah was able to make to Chicago. It had been an instant connection between the two, which melted Jay's heart. Even though it had been months since her last visit, Cindy constantly asked when Hannah was going to come back to visit her, and would often insist on Jay using the web cam so she could say hi. 

Now it was Jay's turn. The problem was, this was definitely not a slam-dunk. First, the kids were in a very unstable situation with their father and had very unpredictable mood swings after visiting him. Second, they were fresh out of a very messy divorce that saw the father remarry quickly with a woman he had been "friends" with during the marriage. There was a serious concern that they might get defensive about their mom sharing her affections with another man...especially after their dad started paying less attention to them after his new marriage that included her kids.

Third, there was no way to predict what Ronny might say to the kids to cause problems. Some of the things that he or his family said about Hannah in front of the kids made Jay wish he could have a face-to-face meeting with the man, although it was probably for the best that it hadn't happened. Ronny would be dropping the kids off, but Jay had promised himself he'd be on his best behavior in front of the kids. It wasn't easy. He had fallen hopelessly in love with her, and had to often hear of the horrific treatment she'd receive from a man who had already done his share of damage to her life. 

Above all, Jay wanted things to be natural. He really did like the kids, despite some problems they'd had as a result of the stress in their lives. He felt a great deal of empathy for them, especially her oldest, who justifiably felt ignored by his father. After watching Hannah and Cindy bond, he hoped for a similar reaction, but didn't want to push if it wasn't there. 

"Here he is," she muttered, staring at a huge green 4x4 truck...a large, ridiculously useless vehicle for someone who never used it for any purpose other than driving in the city to work, or chauffeuring his wife and kids around. It didn't even have enough seats for the kids, forcing them to double up, which constantly caused Hannah concern about their safety. It fit what Jay had learned about Ronny's personality perfectly. 

They both got out of the car, and the kids ran over to their mother to hug her excitedly. The older boy stepped over to say hi to Jay, without any hint of reticence. Jay snuck a glance at Ronny, who was fuming. 

Unconcerned, Jay walked over to him, pleasantly said hi, and took the kids bags, then turned and walked away without any other acknowledgement. He knew it would drive Ronny crazy, because it would make him feel the same way about anyone dating Cindy's mom. Allowing himself a self-satisfied grin, he walked the kids to the car and hopped in the front seat, cheerfully saying "Who wants ice cream?"

After the snack, they headed to the hotel room where they changed, and headed down to the pool. They played there for about an hour, with Jay launching the kids one at a time into the pool to their delight (and their mother's apprehension). Afterward they went up to the room, where Jay had brought old monster movies they had never seen and they had dinner. They spent the rest of the day enjoying each other's company before Hannah had to get them home. 

As they headed out the door, Jay made sure to give them the movies, which brought smiles to their faces. Hannah, on the other hand, looked completely exasperated. 

"You know they're going to make me watch them endlessly." 

Jay smiled broadly. "Gee, I hadn't thought of that."

>>>>>>>

The loud ring of the room's phone woke him. Groggily, Jay looked around in confusion before becoming coherent enough to grab for it. The clock next to it read 9:30 PM. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey," Hannah's voice replied, sounding very tired. "You're not going to believe this. He's an hour late and just called to say he couldn't pick them up tonight. He wants to get them in the morning. He said he's working but I know it's a lie." 

"Well, bring them with," Jay said, trying to sound positive. "You know I'd love to see them." 

"I can't. You know I have to work tomorrow morning. I can't bring them with me to the office." 

"They can stay here," he reasoned. "By the time breakfast is over and we hit the pool, you'd be done with work." 

"There's no way." She not only sounded tired, but extremely aggravated. "I don't know how they'll react, and if they freak out there won't be anything I can do. I have to open the office, so I can't take the chance. I'm going to try to get him to come here tonight. I'll let you know as soon as I hear back. OK?"

"Yeah, sure," Jay said, not wanting to add to her stress. "Do whatever you need to." 

"I'm sorry, Jay."

"It's OK. I'm just going to have dinner and catch some TV if you can't make it. I'll see you after work tomorrow no matter what."

He hung up the phone and sat quietly. Instead of being upset, he felt a sense of inevitability. No matter what was going on, he knew that six months ago she wouldn't have let this stop her. It was eerily reminiscent of a conversation he had just a few weeks earlier.


"Hey buddy, over here!" a shout greeted Jay as he walked through the doorway. He looked around the packed bar and found the owner of the greeting, his friend Nick. With a wave, he took off his coat and negotiated through the crowd toward his friend. The two had played in bands together, and was probably Jay's closest friend out of the musicians he worked with. He was also the person who knew the most about Hannah. 

When Jay first began dating her, it was Nick who most understood the unusual relationship. When Jay showed a few of Hannah's more intimate pictures to friends, it was Nick who seemed to get why. Jay knew she got off on him letting complete strangers see her photos. The first time he showed them to Nick, he immediately called Hannah and told her, then put Nick on the phone to tell her how good she looked. She acted mortified, but Jay knew better. It was one of the things he loved most about her...his ability to really understand what turned her on and what she needed for a self-esteem that had endured a lifetime of knocks. 

"Do you want a beer?" Nick asked, waving to the waitress. 

"Sure, anything is fine." 

Nick's face showed concern. "Dude, what's wrong? You look like crap." 

"Thanks, buddy. I really needed to hear that." They shared a laugh, then waited for the beer. After it arrived, Jay took a long drink, then gave his friend a thoughtful stare. "Are you sure you want to hear this?" 

"Of course, man. What's going on?" 

Jay took a deep breath. "Hannah's going to end it."

There was a moment of silence. "Are you kidding me? I thought you guys were so happy."

"We were," Jay said with a shrug. "A couple of months ago things started to change." 

"Like what?" Nick asked, clearly not convinced.

"The phone calls for one thing. We used to have the most amazing conversations and never missed a night to have sex. A couple of months ago all that stopped. The intimacy is almost gone, and even the conversations seem strained."

Nick tried to be sympathetic. "Look, everybody goes through a rough patch. She's busy, you're busy, it get's tough. That doesn't mean it's over, especially if you don't want it to be." 

"It's not just the calls. It's the way I can't read her any more. I used to always know what she was thinking, what she needed. She's pulled away and I don't know why. I have no idea what's going on any more, and it's killing me."

They both paused and drank quietly. The noise all around gave them an excuse to think. Nick finally broke the awkward pause.

"Maybe it's you. Maybe you are giving her a vibe and she's just reacting to it. I've met her a couple of times and can't believe she'd just pull away for no reason. You guys are perfect for each other."

Jay shrugged again. "I honestly don't know what happened. Maybe I'm blowing it. Maybe she's just tired of the situation. Maybe there's something else." 

Nick looked surprised. "You don't think she's cheating on you?"

"No, I have never doubted her for a second. I don't care how weird things are. I'd know if she was. It has to be something else." 

"Well, what are you going to do?" 

Jay shrugged helplessly. "Nick, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm not sure if I should try harder, give her space, make her talk about it, or what. You know how fucked up her situation is. The last thing I want to do is make things tougher for her because I'm feeling insecure." 

"Well, you can't just let things stay the way they are." 

"No," Jay agreed, "but I don't have to do anything drastic. We're both insanely busy. I'll give it some time and maybe it'll work itself out. I can't get down to see her this month, so it will give us time. Hopefully I'm wrong and things will get back to normal." 

"What are you going to do if they don't? I mean, you wanted her to move up here and settle down, didn't you?" 

"Yeah, but she can't move the kids. She's not crazy about the winters here, either. I can't move down there away from my job and Cindy." Reaching the bottom of his glass, he signaled the waitress for the next round. Staring at the empty glass he mumbled, "I wouldn't blame her if she wanted something more. It just bothers me that I don't know. That's the one thing I never thought I'd say about her."

The two sat drinking for hours. Despite his best efforts, nothing Nick could say brought his friend any comfort.

>>>>>>>

Saturday morning Jay headed downstairs for breakfast, feeling tired from a restless night's sleep, but anxious for Hannah to arrive to make up for the lost time. Despite his fear that things were in a spiral, he clung to the hope he was wrong. If the worst was true, he resolved to do his best to make this weekend spectacular for both of them...something they'd remember for years to come.

Once back in his room he took a shower, then watched a little television. At some point he must have dozed off, because the sound of the door opening woke him. Hannah entered looking frazzled, still wearing her work uniform, her face pale and haggard. 

"Hey sweetie," he mumbled, stifling a yawn. "Are you OK?"

"No," she complained. "He wouldn't answer his phone all night, so I wasted hours trying to call him. Then he didn't show up until five minutes before I was supposed to leave for work. Everything was crazy from the minute I stepped in the door until it was time for me to leave. I'm hungry, I haven't had a shower, and I'm sick." 

"Aw, honey...come here," Jay said, holding out his arms. Hannah sat on his lap, melting against his chest and didn't move for several minutes while he held her tightly, rocking her gently. The worries over what would happen during the weekend faded away as he luxuriated in the familiar warmth of her body.

"You are burning up," he said worriedly. "Get into the shower now." Wearily, she got up and went into the bathroom, while Jay unpacked some supplies she had brought from home and fixed something for them to eat. She looked a little more refreshed after she was done, and was able to eat most of her lunch, but was still obviously not feeling well. 

"Why don't you get some rest?" Jay said, giving her another hug. 

"No!" she protested. "I'll be fine. We already lost Friday. I don't want to ruin your weekend." 

"My weekend is fine," he countered, steering her towards the bed. He pulled back the sheet. "Get in here and relax." 

Pouting, Hannah obeyed, slipping out of her clothes and crawling into the bed. Jay looked her over worriedly. She looked thinner than usual, and was alarmingly pale. 

"Why don't you lay on your stomach and I'll give you a massage," he offered. She complied and he began working on her back, noting how stiff her muscles were. He was careful to keep the sheet covering her as much as possible, but even so it was impossible to miss her shivering. The close contact had a soothing effect on his concerns about what might be happening between them, while reminding him how difficult things were for her. Once again, he felt a surge of pride at being able to do something to alleviate her pain, no matter how slight. 

After about fifteen minutes on her shoulders and back, he moved to her lower back, then to her upper legs. Once there, he couldn't resist the temptation to slide his fingers between her legs, stroking her inner thigh. After an approving moan, his slid his fingers higher, grazing her outer lips. She was incredibly wet, so he let a finger slide inside her, then two. Quickly removing his shorts with his free hand, he slid next to her under the sheet, pulling his fingers out, then running them across her clit, causing her hips to respond. 

Jay pulled her on her side, then slid into her from behind. Neither of them said a word, instead savoring the intimacy each had been missing so desperately. They stayed locked together, barely moving, feeling each other's bodies as even the smallest motion was enough to continue pushing them both towards a climax. 

When he felt her cum, Jay hurried towards the orgasm he had been longing for. It was always different with Hannah than any other woman he had dated before. There was a purity and passion to the act with her that paralleled the descriptions he'd always read in romance novels. It was physical, but much more; something he didn't believe he'd ever be able to put into words...not even to her.

After he finished, they held each other, not moving until Jay was certain she had drifted to sleep. Although not tired himself, he was content to lie beside her, stroking her skin while contemplating the future. 

By Sunday at checkout, they had only had sex twice more, both quiet episodes that were satisfying, but still missing the fire that marked most of their previous encounters. Jay wasn't sure if it was Hannah, if he was being too cautious because of her cold, or if it was his concern about what the future held. Although she was feeling better, she was still missing her normal energy and voracious appetite for pleasure, so he tried not to overanalyze the situation. 

They checked out of the hotel and caught a movie, then walked around the mall before having a late lunch. It was subdued, with them quietly enjoying each other's company, but saying little of what was happening in their lives. It was more guarded than he had ever seen her, although she still gave every indication things were fine.

He had a late afternoon flight, so they cut short the shopping and she took him to the airport. They talked a little more about her kids, but when Jay brought up another visit, she changed the subject. He stared out the window at the sites, knowing with every fiber of his being that something was wrong, but wanting to do anything to avoid confronting it. As she pulled up to the curb to drop him off, she put the car in park and stared down at her lap. 




Signs Ch. 02



"I...I just can't do this any more, Jay," she said, tears welling in her eyes. "I miss you so much when you're away. It hurts too much to keep saying goodbye." 

Even though he had believed it was coming for more than a month, the statement hit him like a punch to the gut. "Why didn't you say anything before now? How many times did I ask you something was wrong?"

"I couldn't tell you over the phone," she said, the tears spilling out over her cheeks. "I had to see you one more time." 

"So I don't have any say in this?" Jay murmured, turning away to avoid breaking down himself. 

Hannah sniffed, running the back of her hand across her eyes, "What are we going to do? You can't move here, I can't move to you. How long do we keep living for one weekend a month?" 

"What if I found a way to come down here more? It's not like this situation is forever. Maybe there's a way for me to move when things are a little different for me. You know how much I love you. We can't end it like this."

She looked at him hopefully for a moment, then her expression hardened.

"I'm sorry, Jay. I love you but I can't keep doing this. You don't know how hard this is for me. I want there to be an answer, but there just isn't one. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, but I can't keep doing this. It's not fair to either of us."

Jay wanted to argue, wanted to tell her she was making a mistake, but he knew she was right. He couldn't talk her into uprooting her and the kid's lives, exposing her to a court fight with her bitter ex. He couldn't leave the best job he'd ever held and his only daughter. If she couldn't be happy with this life, he couldn't ask her to continue doing it. 

They hugged, whispering their love one final time, then Jay grabbed his bag, turned and walked away. He couldn't even force himself to look over his shoulder as he entered the terminal. Slowly making his way toward the gate for the last time, he tried with all his heart to convince himself he'd done the right thing.

>>>>>>>

The noise in the bar was so loud that Jay was forced to lean closer to hear his friend.

"I still can't believe you haven't moved on," Nick scolded him, shaking his head. "She was great, but there's lots of fish in the sea." 

Jay smiled wearily. "That's easy for you to say, considering all the fishing you've done." 

They shared a laugh, before Nick's expression turned somber. "Seriously, it's been a year. What are you waiting for?"

"Who said I'm waiting?" Jay said with a shrug. "It's not like I haven't talked to a woman or been out on a date." 

"Please...who are you talking to?" Nick said cynically. "The next time you actually try to get somewhere with a woman will be the first time in as long as I can remember. Are you waiting for someone to fall into your lap and say hello?"

"Hmmm," Jay mused, ducking a playful punch from his friend. "Do you really want to talk about this, or are you just being nice?"

"Sure, tell me what's going on."

Jay took a deep breath. "I'll tell you something I have never told anyone before," he said, a sudden air of seriousness. "I never dated a single woman who made me feel like it was OK to be myself in my entire life. Hannah opened my eyes to everything. That I could be myself and still be the man she wanted me to be. I did things with her I used to think only happened in porn stories, but they all felt normal, an extension of the way we felt about each other."

"Nick, how many women have given you shit about checking out some other girl while you were with them?"

Rolling his eyes, Nick answered, "About all of them." 

"Well, Hannah used to walk with me and point out women for me to check out. I took her to my favorite strip club, where my favorite dancer took care of her. Afterward, I had the wildest sex of my life, and neither of them has stopped talking about the other since then. The thing she wanted to try most was to be with another woman. The thing is, she could have done it any time, but she wanted it to happen with me there."

Nick laughed. "OK, so the sex was off the charts. That's not a reason to get hung up on a woman for life."

"No, you're missing the point. Yes the sex was great, but that's not what made her special. It's just the easiest thing to explain to my friends. The truth is, I never really understood what trust was before I met her. I always assumed it meant you didn't have to be jealous, or that your partner wouldn't lie to you. She showed me it's something completely different."

Nick gave him a curious look, but waited for him to continue.

"I trusted her fidelity. We saw each other for one weekend a month, but I never doubted for a second that I was the only man in her life. I believed in her so much that I encouraged her to go to strip clubs to get dances by the hottest women she could find. She trusted me so thoroughly that she gave me permission to fool around two different times, as long as I promised I wouldn't fuck the girl. Can you imagine that? Her trusting me to do anything else I wanted, but believing I would stop short of fucking in a room with no witnesses...and you know what? I did."

He took a quick drink, before continuing. 

"The thing that I never understood was how important it was to trust someone to believe in you. I could tell her anything. Not only did she never judge me, but it made her believe in me more. Every time I asked her to try something, she did it without question. Then she'd make sure I knew how much it meant to her that I trusted her with my inner most desires. She loved me taking charge, and encouraged me to say and do anything I wanted. You know the funny thing?"

"What's that," Nick said, leaning forward.

"She always knew that I'd do anything to make her happy. All the fantasies we talked about, all the crazy-assed things we did together, I did them because I knew they were what she wanted. I listened to her and used what she told me to find ways to make her happy. Being able to do that made me happy...made me feel like a man for the first time. She trusted me to do what was right, so she gave me control. I used that to make her happy. It was perfect."

He paused to take another drink. "She was something I never expected to find, and I'm not going to find it again." 

"Come on," Nick chided him. "Do you really believe that?" 

Jay stared at him intently. "Nick, it took me twenty five years of dating to find her in the first place. Now I have a kid, an angry ex who loves to fuck with my life, and I'm not as young as I used to be. All that, plus about a hundred annoying habits I've picked up over the years. I'm not saying I give up, but what are the chances in the next few years I'm going to find someone else who makes me feel remotely close to the way she did?" 

Jay bowed his head, staring at his drink intently. "I'm forty-three years old. How much longer before it's too late to even start that kind of relationship?"

"Maybe you've built this up to more than it was because of the situation," Nick said carefully, watching his friend for a reaction. "Did you ever think that it was never that way on her end? Maybe you're creating some fantasy that reality can't compete with. I've dated a lot of women and I've never seen what you're talking about. I hate to say this, but maybe you're waiting for something that doesn't exist."

Jay stared at his drink, letting the statements roll around in his head for a long time. Finally he lifted the beer to his lips and downed the rest. 

"I ask myself that every day," he whispered, barely loud enough to be heard over the din of the room.

*******

Two hours later Jay turned the key in the lock, then leaned heavily into the front door. It swung open to the darkened apartment, where no one was waiting... even a pet. He let it swing closed behind him, reaching blindly for the light. Turning it on, he dropped his coat over a chair and fell into his recliner, where he sat quietly, pondering the troubling conversation with his friend. 

He pulled his phone from his pocket and laid it on the table next to him. Staring at the device, he wrestled with himself as he often did, longing to pick it up and call her, just to hear her voice, to see if she was okay. He resisted the urge, as he had been doing for weeks, knowing that each time he spoke with her, the conversation would be painfully mechanical, a hollow reminder of the passion those calls used to engender. 

Reaching for the remote instead, he switched on the television. It was a reminder of how much more successful he had become, having a fancy entertainment center with a big-screen plasma TV. None of that really made a difference in how lost he felt though. Not just alone, but unsure about what direction his life should proceed in. 

He had been so sure that his future lay with her...it was like he couldn't trust his own judgment anymore. The thought had shaken him to his core in the last few months, even more than how desperately he missed her. He thought that he had finally reached a point in his life where he understood where he was going, only to have that belief rocked by self-doubt.

With a sigh, he flipped through the channels finding nothing to watch. Finally, took a deep breath and hit the play button. The DVD player turned on, showing a hotel room with a view over the bed. Within seconds, music started in the background.

Then Hannah stepped into the picture. 

With an audible sigh, he watched as she did a strip-tease for the camera, then lay back on the bed waiting for him. As the characters on the screen made love, Jay was forced to relive how much he missed the sounds she made when she was aroused. The way he had been able to raise her to heights she had never reached before. How adorable he found it that the back of her neck would become bright red when she was excited; a tip-off that she was close to an orgasm. Her musical laugh and the way it always made him smile. The way he could feel the tension drain from her body after a particularly long intimate encounter, or when would give her a thorough massage. 

He watched on the screen as she came over and over again, the sound of her voice breaking as she tried to catch her breath between orgasms, until finally he allowed himself to seek his own release. They collapsed together on the bed, holding each other and whispering things below the level of the recording. Shaking his head in frustration, Jay reached for the remote. 

"This isn't healthy," he scolded himself. "You've got to stop dwelling on the past. Maybe Nick's right that I'm just wishing it was the way I remember it. What if I'm still that stupid kid with all the romantic ideas of how life is supposed to be, too caught up in something that doesn't exist to just be satisfied with what's real? I passed on so many chances with women who were wonderful and who loved me, just because it didn't measure up to some bullshit fantasy I'd created. I waited all that time, and what do I have to show for it? Maybe I am just an idiot." 

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by something on the screen catching his eye, and he immediately hit the pause button. Studying the scene, he could see himself on screen looking away as he pushed her to another climax. Jay studied Hannah closely, noticing the expression of joy and unrestrained love on her face as she looked up at him, although she knew he couldn't see. He hit play and watched as she pulled him close, squeezing him tightly, her face reflecting the same glow his did when she wasn't looking. It struck him like a fist.

"I knew it," he whispered to himself, a sense of calm washing over him as he studied her face. "She did feel the same. Nothing else matters...I know she felt it too." 

He turned off the TV, rose and wearily made his way toward the bedroom, feeling a return of some of the confidence that had eroded due to months of uncertainty. 

"I might not ever find it again, but at least I had it for a little while. If I had settled when I was younger, I never would have known what it was like." The realization brought on a contented smile. 

"It was worth every second of the wait."