4 comments/ 20318 views/ 3 favorites Scared Sara Ch. 02 By: MarsAres Thank you every_horizon and LadyCibelle for editing. .................... The next weeks were torture for me. Lucien seemed to be everywhere I was. In class, at the Library, Cafeteria, in my discussion groups, along the corridors, around campus, even at the apartment! And he looked so good too, damn him. I was trying my best to follow Lucien's advice. I tried to be more pleasant to people and had to bite my tongue whenever I felt like being sarcastic or rude. If I disagreed, I gave my views in a more tactful way instead of calling that person an idiotic worm not worth the air it breathed. It seemed to be working. If you were nice to people, generally they'll be nice back to you. Except for hardcore creeps like Blake Harrington and his gang. Now those pigs were not worth the air they breathed! I was also running out of stories to give Helen. She's been pestering me to tell her what happened between Lucien and me and I've been evasive. She came and sat beside me one Friday night while I was watching TV. "The guys, which includes Lucien, and I are going out tonight. I want you to come too." Helen made it a statement of fact and not a request. "I don't want to, thank you," I replied in a bored voice. "If you don't come willingly, I'm going to get Lucien to carry you out of here!" Helen threatened. "He won't." "How sure are you he won't?" "I'm sure. I know Lucien." "Oh yeah? When and how did you get to know Lucien so well?" "Oh Helen," I laughed. "Give it up okay? There's nothing, nor ever has been anything going on between Lucien and me. End of story." "Really? Then why are you crying almost every night? And why does Lucien look at you like a lovesick pup?" Helen demanded. "He does not!" I denied hotly, turning to glare at her. "From the way he looks at you, I'd say he loves you and from your crying, I'd also say that you love him. So, what's the problem?" Helen asked with a puzzled frown. "Helen, can we drop the subject. Please?" I muttered through gritted teeth. "No, I will not drop the subject. Sara, I'm your friend and I want to help. I know you're miserable though you pretend as if everything's fine. Please talk to me." "There is nothing to talk about," I growled, glaring at the TV. Helen sighed. "You've got to learn to trust people Sara. Not everyone's out to get you, you know. You've got friends who care about you, I care about you. Barry and Mike care about you--." "No they don't," I interrupted. "Barry tolerates me because of you and Mike couldn't care less what happens to me." "And me?" Helen asked sadly. "Oh Helen, I'm sorry! You're the only person who ever took the trouble to look beyond my act and see the real me. I really, really appreciate that and I do trust you. I know you won't do anything to hurt me." "Neither would Lucien you know." I sighed. "Did I ever tell you about my cousin Shari?" Helen shook her head looking puzzled. "Shari is the youngest and only daughter in her family and spoilt rotten. She's very naïve and rather innocent because her dad and 3 brothers are very protective of her. "All of us cousins are crazy over bikes and we often go for biker's rally and such. Last summer, we all went for this huge rally. "There we met Emilio Cortes. God Helen, he was gorgeous! He seemed like such a nice guy. Considerate, charming, a regular gentleman, even though he looked like every girl's dream of the forbidden bad boy. "He zeroed in on Shari and she fell for him, hard! He talked her into going away with him after the rally and we only knew about it when Shari called my aunt and uncle and told them she's staying with Emilio and not coming back. Our entire family begged her to come home, she was still in school for heaven's sake and such an innocent! Nothing worked and she wouldn't tell us where she was. My uncle had to put investigators on their trail. When we finally caught up with them, it was almost too late. "Emilio turned out to be an abusive bastard. He abused her not just physical but mentally and psychologically as well. By the time we got to her, she was pregnant, with fresh and old bruises and cuts. She thought she deserved everything he'd done to her, that it was her fault." I was crying as I remembered what Shari was like when she got back. She'd talk to me for hours telling me her experience with Emilio. He was a sick, sick bastard and the frightening thing was, he didn't act or look like he could do such things. I remembered that I was half in love with him myself during the rally. Helen held me in her arms as I sobbed. "You know what frightens me the most Helen? Even after all he'd done, Shari still believes he loves her. She says he beat her up to 'correct' her faults. That is so sick!" I said clenching my fist, tears of anger and frustration coursing down my cheeks. "When we met Emilio, we all liked him and thought he was such a wonderful guy. How could all of us have been so wrong Helen? How can I trust my own judgment ever again? How do I know Lucien won't turn out to be another Emilio? I can't Helen, I won't ever take the chance. After Shari I vowed that no man was going to do that to me. Ever!" "You poor darling," Helen said softly, holding me tight while I cried on her shoulder. Helen didn't know what to say but she understood Sara better now, why she was so defensive. And she pitied Lucien. If he really loved Sara, he had an uphill battle to convince her to trust him. The doorbell rang then and I hurriedly wiped my tears and got up. "Enjoy yourself," I said and hurried to my room. Helen opened the door to let the boys in. "Have a seat first guys, I'll just be a few minutes." "Is Sara joining us?" Lucien asked. Helen turned and looked at Lucien sadly, "No, she's not." "Has something happened?" Lucien asked worriedly, noting the strained look on Helen's face. Helen just shook her head sadly. Seeing the expression on her face, Lucien didn't believe her. "I'm going to talk to Sara," he said walking towards her room. Helen grabbed his hand, "I don't think that's a good idea at the moment Lucien." Seeing the mutinous look on his face, she added, "Trust me on this Lucien. This is not a good time." "Is she okay?" he asked worriedly. "As okay as she'll ever be. Give her time Lucien." Running a hand through his hair in frustration, Lucien nodded reluctantly and walked to the window to stare out moodily into the night. By this time Barry and Mike were looking from Lucien to Helen interestedly. Barry raised an enquiring brow at Helen but she shook her head and mouthed silently, 'tell you later' at him. I heard the murmur of voices in the living room and knew Lucien was out there. I wanted so badly to just accept his love and not remember Shari and Emilio. Lucien always seemed so nice and considerate but then, a small voice at the back of my mind would whisper, 'Emilio was like that too' and I'd get scared. I continued to ignore Lucien though he still managed to be everywhere I was. I was sure he was doing this on purpose. During one long weekend in February I had a family gathering. All my uncles, aunts and cousins usually turn up for this. As I was leaving for class on Thursday morning my cell rang. "3.30, why?" "Pick me up? What for?" "Yeah, but I'm riding my bike up there." he chuckled. "Mom did not say that!" I replied hotly. "Oohh, so 'iddle Billy's gonna be big, bad Sara's keeper?" I cooed sarcastically at my cousin. Bill growled. I laughed, "'kay Billy, see you at four" and I gave him directions to my apartment. Billy's a lot older than me and practicing law with a large legal firm in town close to my college. I have a feeling that mom and dad has designated him to sort of watch over me. The family gathering was fun as usual. Shari was there as well with her little baby boy. He was so adorable with his black hair and dark eyes. "How are you Shari?" I asked when I saw her. She was looking a whole lot better than the last time I saw her. But her dark eyes still looked slightly haunted. "I'm okay," she assured me. "Recovering. Some days are good, some not so. But there's been more good days than bad lately and little Umar's a godsend," she smiled looking at her baby. I had long talks with Shari during that weekend and she told me about her therapy sessions. "Dr. Quinzelle's been telling me I need to look at what happened and make up my own mind about it. Put it in the proper perspective and learn from the experience. But it's hard. I'm not like you Sara, you're strong, confident and smart," Shari said looking at me with sad eyes. If she only knew... "When I was with him, I couldn't think straight. He just swept me along. He could talk you into believing anything he says when he looks at you... do you remember that Sara; Those dark eyes of his, so passionate and sincere?" Shari's voice was quiet and her words brought back memories of that rally. Yes, I remembered Emilio... eyes that looked at you with such heat as if you were the only woman in the world for him. Furthermore, when he spoke, whatever he said in that rich, hypnotic voice made perfect sense. I shook my head sadly. "If he had really loved you Shari, he would never have hurt you the way he did. He was an attractive, compelling man, I don't deny that, but that was all an act." "Yes, that's what Dr. Quinzelle said too. And at an intellectual level, I do agree but... it's difficult to make your heart stop loving someone you know?" "Shari, don't tell me you still love that bastard?" I asked, aghast. "No, no," Shari shook her head, "Of course I don't. But you know I've always been a romantic fool and now I'm so afraid of falling in love again. I don't want another Emilio." "What does Dr. Quinzelle say?" I asked. "She says I need to try and put it behind me, that there are many good people out there and I can't judge all men by his standard. There are plenty of decent men who can be trusted. I need to move forward with my life and not dwell on the past. But I also need to learn from my experience and to believe that what happened was in no way my fault." "Of course it wasn't your fault Shari," I assured her. "He's a sick bastard." My talks with Shari got me thinking about Lucien. Wasn't it time I move forward too and stop thinking that all men are like Emilio? ..................................... I was sitting in the lounge of the boy's dormitory waiting for Lucien. There were a few guys and girls in the lounge with me, watching TV, listening to music and generally hanging out. One of the boys' said that Lucien wasn't back yet so I was sitting facing the entrance to make sure I wouldn't miss him when he walked in. I was extremely nervous and fidgety. I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say when I saw him. I'd been waiting for about half an hour and was ready to go when the door opened and Blake Harrington walked in with two of his friends. "Well, well, look's who's here. Waiting for me darling?" he drawled walking towards me. Sitting on the arm of my chair, he pulled me to him. I flinched and pushed him away. I didn't want to tangle with Blake now. He slid into my chair, dragged me on his lap and kissed my neck, groping me roughly. I pushed him, jumping up off his lap. I badly wanted to hit him but didn't want to cause a scene here. He took the decision away from me when he got up and grabbed me again. I was enraged, how dare the creep maul me like it was his right?! I whirled around, punched and kicked him, sending him crashing into a bookcase a few feet away. After that, I dragged him up and went on hitting him. I was in an absolute rage and had tuned out my surroundings. I just concentrated on reducing Blake to a bloody pulp. If I break every bone in his body then so be it. I vaguely felt hands trying to pull me away from Blake and kicked those away too. I was knocked down unexpectedly and my head hit the floor with a sharp crack. I saw stars and blacked out for a moment. When I came to, there were 4 or 5 guys piled on top of me, one held my arms, another held my feet and someone had wrapped my hair in his fist and more guys were on my torso and hips. "Get off me, I'm going to kill him!" I yelled and struggled frantically, trying to dislodge them off me. "Sara, calm down. It's Lucien. Sara, listen to me, stop this!" I calmed down enough to recognize Lucien on top of me and looked up into his worried eyes, his glasses were askew and it looked like there was a nasty cut on his forehead. I closed my eyes, taking deep breaths to calm myself. Slowly I felt my rage subside. "You can let me up now guys, I'm okay," I said relatively calm after a while. The guys looked uncertainly at each other, not sure whether to let her up or not. Blake was a battered, bloody mess a few feet away. They'd only managed to immobilize her when 5 of them rushed her at once and one guy managed to grab her legs tripping her. "Let me up" I growled. "I promise I won't hit him anymore, okay?" Reluctantly the guys got off and Lucien helped me up. I slapped his hands away glaring at him. Hands on my hips I looked at the bloody mess that was once Blake Harrington. "So, is he dead?" I sneered at Blake's sidekick, Barney Wilson. "He's not, no thanks to you, you hellish bitch!" Barney yelled at me. "You've broken his arm and I think you broke his ribs as well. You're going to get it this time Danilov, the Harringtons will prosecute. This is the end of the road for you!" I laughed a bitter sneering laugh at Barney. "The Harringtons will prosecute, I'm so scared" I said scornfully. "Tell the Harringtons 'happy prosecuting'. They have absolutely no idea who they're dealing with." "What the fuck are you trying to say?" Brett Mortensen demanded. Brett is the other friend that made the unholy triumvirate of the triple Bs, the core of Blake's gang. But between Barney and Brett, Brett was the smarter one. "Tell them they'll be meeting the Tanners in court," I said with a cynical smile. "Who're you're trying to kid, bitch," Barney sneered. "Why should the Tanners care what happens to an upstart, nowhere kid like you?" I clenched my fist and would have attacked Barney had Lucien not held me back. "Let me introduce you to the daughter of Helena Tanner...Danilov," I said giving him a low mock bow. When I straightened up the world started spinning sickeningly and would have fallen if I hadn't clutched at Lucien's arm. Taking deep breaths to calm my spinning head, I said mockingly to Barney, "See you around, losers." Letting go of Lucien's arm, I walked as steadily as I could out of the lounge. Lucien tried to put his arms around me but I slapped them away. "Don't do that," I hissed. "I can't let them see I'm hurt. Just walk close to me." I could see Barry and Mike were also with us. When the crowd at the lounge couldn't see us anymore, I clutched Lucien and fell into his arms in a dead faint. When I came to, I was lying on a bed and had a cold compress on my head. Lucien, Barry and Mike surrounded me, looking worried. I sat up and the world spun sickeningly again and I grabbed on to Lucien to steady myself. I touched the back of my head and winced when I felt a big lump and stickiness. My fingers were covered with blood. "We need to get you to the hospital" Lucien said in a shaky voice when he saw the blood. "Barry can you drive? I'll carry Sara" and he gathered me in his arms. "No, wait! I need to call Billy first." "We'll call him later, you need to get to the hospital now," Lucien said urgently. "No" I said stubbornly. I dug in my pocket and pulled out my cell. Thank god it wasn't damaged. I tried to focus on the screen to dial but couldn't and nearly blacked out again. Handing the phone to Lucien I said, "Call Billy and tell him what happened. I need him to tell us what to do. The Harrington's are going to prosecute remember? Evidence is crucial if we're to meet them in court" I explained. Showing him my blood covered fingers I said, "This is evidence." Lucien made the call and I heard him explain to Billy what happened in the lounge. He handed the phone to me after that. "Not too good." "Quite bad I think. Some broken bones and bleeding and bruising all over, the last I saw." Billy said angrily. "Damn you Billy Tanner! This time it's not my fault, he was groping me, it's self defense!" I yelled furiously and regretted it immediately as my head started spinning again. "Yes" I answered weakly. "He squeezed by breast, shoved his hand into my pants and kissed my neck" I said. I was mad at him. Why does my family always think it's my fault when I get into a fight? Sheesh! "Yeah, there were a few boys and girls around at the time." I passed the phone to Lucien. He spoke to Billy for a few minutes, saying 'yes' a few times then I heard Lucien say : "Yes, Barry and Mike to get witnesses from the lounge and I drive Sara to the ER. She's been through an 'attempted sexual assault' and she's to be examined by the 'rape victim' unit." He then passed the phone back to me. Billy asked me. "Yes." I didn't reply. I may be slightly bashed up at the moment but that doesn't mean I can't take care of my self. I still didn't reply. "Okay, okay," I sighed. "I promise I'll let Lucien handle everything." I could see Lucien grinning when he heard that. Billy breathed a sigh of relief. Lucien explained to Barry and Mike what Billy wanted them to do then gathered me in his arms to carry me to his car. "Lucien, let me down. Somebody might see." "You can hardly walk Sara. Remember, you promised Billy you'd let me handle everything?" he insisted and went on walking. I kept quiet and damned Billy for getting that promise out of me. We reached ER but before Lucien could tell the staff anything, somebody demanded, "Did you do this to her?" when he saw my beat up condition. "No!" "Who are you then?" he asked. "I'm her boyfriend." I looked at Lucien wide eyed. When did that happen? I was thoroughly examined like I had actually been raped. They took photos of me unclothed. True enough, Blake's finger marks were on my breast and buttocks where he'd clutched me, he'd even given me a hickey on my neck, bastard! I wanted to beat him up all over again. They wheeled me out on a wheelchair just wearing a hospital gown as my other clothes had been bagged as evidence. My head was bandaged and my cuts treated. I hugged Billy who was waiting with Lucien. Scared Sara Ch. 02 "Are you her relative?" the nurse asked Billy. "Yes, I'm her cousin." "She has a concussion, x-ray show her skull's not cracked though, but the rest of her cuts and bruises need time to heal. Make sure that she gets complete bed rest for at least two days. No stress, no physical activities and these are her medication. She says she has a headache, if it continues beyond two days, bring her back." "Okay," Billy agreed, turning to me he asked, "Are you all right?" "Yeah, fine, thanks for coming Billy," and handed him the report and photos. I was slightly embarrassed about the photos but Billy's not just my cousin, in this case he's also my lawyer, he needed to see it. "I hope this looks worse that what actually happened?" Billy asked looking at the photos showing the bruises on my body. Lucien craned his neck to look at the photos and I quickly turned them over, glaring at him. "You don't have to look at these Lucien." I rode in Billy's car and Lucien followed in his to the police station. We arrived at the station where Barry and Mike were waiting with two other guys and a girl. Barry introduced them to us as Garret and Paul and the girl was Krista. We walked into the station, made our statements and gave a copy of the medical report. Garret, Paul and Krista also had their statements recorded. After it was over, we all thanked them and Barry and Mike drove them back. "Lucien, why don't you follow us back to Sara's apartment?" Billy said. "That was my plan" Lucien replied seriously. Billy smiled at my frowning face when he heard that. While we were driving back, Billy said, "Lucien seems like a nice guy. Are you guys together?" "No we're not! Though he's claiming he's my boyfriend. I don't know where he got that idea," I said annoyed. "Don't you want him to be your boyfriend? And don't get all prickly and defensive, be honest, with yourself if not with me." My initial reaction was to be defensive and deny everything but Billy was right, I needed to be honest with myself. "I don't know Billy. He does seem like a nice guy and he did say that he loved me. I wouldn't give him a chance before and he says he'll wait until I was ready. I was going to tell him tonight that I wanted to try and see whether we could make this work. "But I'm scared Billy. We all thought Emilio was a nice guy too but look what happened?" I continued in a low voice. Billy sighed. "Sara, you can't let what happened to Shari prevent you from having a relationship. Yes, Emilio was a bastard and all of us got conned by him, but not all guys are Emilio you know. There are no guarantees in life; we've got to take some risks. Just be cautious and be smart." "That's what Lucien said too" "You should listen to him" "Yeah right! Listen to him while he takes over every part of my life until I can't even make my own decisions and just be an extension of him" I replied hotly. "Give the guy a break will you Sara? You're smart and not naïve like Shari was. If Lucien tried to do to you what Emilio did, you'd know it before it got too late. Right?" "I guess" I replied reluctantly. "From what I can see, Lucien cares about you. Give it a chance but take things slow and be smart. But if he hurts you, tell me and I'll bash him up for you." Billy smiled at me. "Thanks Billy" I said grinning. "But I don't need you to bash him up for me, I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself!" We reached my apartment and got out. When Lucien arrived, he came and put his arm around me gently. Billy smiled but shook his head at my mutinous look. "Mr. Tanner--," Lucien began to say. "Bill, please," Billy interrupted. "Okay, Bill. Don't worry about Sara, I'm going to stay and take care of her. As the nurse says, she needs complete bed rest, no stress and no physical activities. I'm going to make sure that's what she gets." "Who made you my keeper?" I muttered. "I did" Billy retorted. I glared at him. "Sara, be reasonable," Billy said. "There's nobody to take care of you at my apartment, you're better off here and Lucien and Helen can watch over you in between classes. I'll come by after work to check on you. I'll even bring dinner!" he grinned. "Why don't you two go on up, it's late and you need to rest Sara." Billly took out his card and scribbled something on it. He gave the card to Lucien. "This is my contact. I've written my personal cell number as well. You can call me anytime, night or day. Take care of Sara, Lucien. I'll see you both tomorrow evening." We walked slowly up to the apartment, with Lucien's arm still around me. When we entered, Helen, Barry and Mike were waiting up for us. "Sara, are you alright? Barry and Mike were just telling me what happened," Helen exclaimed. "Yeah, I'm alright," I said, sitting down. Lucien sat on the arm of my chair. "I'll be staying here for now to take care of Sara. I hope that's okay with you Helen? Bill says he'll stop by every evening after work," Lucien said to Helen. "Of course I don't mind Lucien! It's good that you'll be around. Knowing Sara, left on her own, she'll be jumping about by tomorrow," Helen said. "Bill Tanner says he'll stop by after work, huh?" Helen murmured with a pleased smile and Barry glared at her. "Bill's stopping by to look on Sara" Barry said to Helen annoyed. "I know that sweetums. But he's so good looking, don't you think?" Helen cooed at Barry. "I hadn't noticed," Barry growled. I laughed at this. Barry was blond with boyish good looks and Helen and him made such a cute pair. Helen just liked to keep Barry on his toes with these mild flirtations of hers. The others talked on while I leaned back against my chair. The events of this evening must have tired me out more than I thought as their voices faded into the background and I fell asleep. Lucien carried Sara into her room and gently put her on the bed. He removed her coat leaving her with only the hospital gown on and covered her up. As he looked down on her sleeping form, the love he felt for her overwhelmed him and he actually felt murderous towards Blake for what he did. He's never going to get a chance of hurting Sara again. Lucien was going to stick to Sara like a shadow from now on and prove to her that she could trust him. Trust him to take care of her and trust him to never hurt her. He removed his clothes and slid into bed with her. Gathering her into his arms, he dropped light kisses on her cheek and settled down to sleep. This is where he belonged, with the woman he loved nestled in his arms. Lucien fell asleep with a contented smile on his face. I woke up slowly feeling so warm and comfortable. It took a moment before my brains started working. It was just starting to get light so it must still be very early. I was in my bed but my pillow seemed to be... a man's chest! I gasped and looked up. Lucien was asleep and looked so adorable, his arms surrounded me and I was draped all over him. My first reaction was to jump up off the bed... Oh, but it felt so good to be held in Lucien's arms, to be surrounded by his love, to just let down my defenses and let him take care of me... I slowly lowered by head back to his chest, my head tucked under his chin. Lucien was so warm and his bare skin felt so good against mine. I was still dressed in the hospital gown but the hem had ridden up to my stomach, leaving my bare pussy pressed against his thigh. Being skin to skin with him felt so good I started rubbing myself against him and could feel myself getting wet. I felt him getting hard against my stomach and quickly looked up. Lucien's eyes were open and looking into mine, darkening with his desire. He pulled me up to him and kissed me, his tongue sweeping in, mating with mine. He pulled me close and rubbed his erection against me while his hand gently kneaded my butt. I was floating in a pleasurable haze just enjoying his kisses and caresses. Releasing my mouth, he rained kisses along my forehead and cheeks. When he got to my neck, he saw the hickey and stiffened. "Blake did that?" he asked softly. When I felt Lucien stiffen, I was sure it was because he was disgusted with me and tried to push him away. "Yes, he did! You want to see what else he did?" I replied angrily and I tore open the gown and showed him my breast with the bruises Blake gave me. Lucien's eyes darkened even more and his fingers gripped my arms tightly. "If you don't like what you see, get out!" I yelled, pushing him away. "Sara no!" Lucien's voice was anguished and he didn't let me go. "I'm sorry, its not you, I'm angry with Blake. I wish you had killed him yesterday, that bastard doesn't deserve to live." Lucien pulled me close and tenderly caressed my hair and back. "I'm so sorry Sara. I wish I could undo what he did to you but I can't. The only thing I can do is to take care of you from now and never let you out of my sight. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe Sara. I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt ever again." I was stiff and unyielding in his arms. I wanted so badly to trust Lucien but every loving word from him my mind translated into ways it could mean he wants to control and hurt me later. Lucien went on holding and caressing me tenderly, murmuring gentle loving words. My fist clenched on his chest and I started to cry. I was so confused, torn and scared. A part of me wanted to just lean into him and accept his loving but my mind kept screaming 'no!' When I was all cried out, Lucien grabbed the box of tissues by the bed and dried my tears. I wanted to cry even more at his loving gesture. I composed myself and sat up on the bed. Lucien tried to pull me into his arms again but I gently pushed him back. Gesturing to the opposite end of the bed, I said "Lucien, there's things you need to know about me." He sat in front of me, took my hands and held them. He looked at me, his eyes steady and waited. "Lucien I-- I--, oh damn, I don't know how to say this!" I muttered. I couldn't look into his eyes and started to blush. Hell! I didn't even know what I wanted to say. Lucien reached out and gently raised my chin. "Sara, look at me. I suspect there's a lot of things which you've kept to yourself and you're torn up inside. I'm here for you and whatever it is, you can tell me. I'd never judge you Sara, whatever's happened to you, I believe happened for a reason. "I love you Sara, all of you! Good, bad, ugly, whatever. Nobody's perfect, I'm certainly not. Talk to me Sara, give me a chance to know and understand you. Give me a chance to love you," Lucien said gently, his eyes looking pleadingly at me. He raised my hands to his lips and kissed my bruised knuckles tenderly. I felt my tears starting up again and quickly grabbed a tissue. "Lucien, I'm such a mess," I sobbed. "You're lovely," Lucien's voice was husky. He leaned forward and kissed my tears away, then sat back and smiled gently at me. "Lucien... my cousin Shari went through a very bad experience..." and I told him what happened. After I finished, Lucien's eyes were stricken and he gripped my hands tightly. "Sara, that's terrible, I'm so sorry." "It's so hard for me to trust nowadays. Everyone keeps telling me that Emilio is the exception and not the rule, even Shari tells me that. But I'm terrified of getting hurt Lucien, can you understand?" Lucien scooted forward and drew me into his arms. He didn't say anything just held and rocked me. I leaned into him letting him hold me, feeling secure and safe in his arms, and let my negative mind take a walk. Sara had fallen asleep in his arms. He thought about what she had told him and sighed with sadness. Poor Sara, no wonder she's so defensive. He realized that there was nothing he could say to Sara that would make her trust him. He could only show her through his actions and was determined to make her believe in him, no matter how long it took. Scared Sara Ch. 03 When I woke up again, Lucien was gone. I looked at the bedside clock, it was already ten, he must have gone to class. My door opened and there was Lucien, smiling at me with a breakfast tray in his hands. He had his jeans on but was shirtless. I wouldn’t mind having him for breakfast! “Morning darling. I made you breakfast.” I sat up and he put the tray on my lap. There was fluffy scrambled eggs, toast, tea and juice. “You’re certainly full of surprises,” I told him. “I thought you’d gone to class.” “No, today I’m all yours. I’ve asked Brian to stop by with notes later. Now eat, you’ve got to take your medication,” he said gruffly. “I think you need to work on your bedside manner” I grinned at him. He leaned forward and kissed me, nibbling on my lips. I opened my mouth and his tongue swept in, sensuously stroking mine. It was a hungry, wanton kiss and I was gasping when his lips released mine. “Better?” he asked huskily. “Ooh much. Though I’m sure your patients wouldn’t want to get well with that kind of treatment.” He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously, “That ‘treatment’ is exclusively for you darling,” he said grinning. I giggled and blushed. When I finished breakfast, Lucien made sure I ate all my medicines then scooped me in his arms and carried me to the bathroom. “Put me down! I’m quite capable of walking,” I protested. “Nope, doctor’s orders remember? Complete bed rest, no stress or physical activities for at least two days. This is only day one. You need to go anywhere, I’ll carry you. I’ll even help you bathe and dress,” he said with a cheeky look on his face. “The doctor did not order that!” I retorted. “Just part of my excellent bedside manner,” Lucien replied grinning. Lucien kicked the bathroom door opened and carried me in. Letting me down he asked, “You want me to draw you a bath or start the shower?” “Get. Out” I said through gritted teeth. “Darling, I only want to make sure you’re okay. What if you get dizzy and fall or something?” “Lucien, you’re stressing me out. Get out! Now!” I yelled. “Bill will blame me if anything happened to you,” he said sadly shaking his head. “Something will happen to you if you don’t get out now,” I threatened my eyes narrowing to slits. Grinning widely, he left the bathroom. While I was in the shower I heard the bathroom door open and Lucien said, “I brought your towel. Are you done?” “No I’m not!” I shrieked from the shower. “Leave the towel and get out, and lock the door!” “Okay, I’m going. You don’t have to burst my eardrums.” When I came out of the bathroom, Lucien was leaning against the wall outside. “Done?” he asked, scooping me in his arms and carried me to my room. “You’re really going to carry me about?” I asked wonderingly. “I thought you were joking.” “I’d never joke about taking care of you Sara. I’m going to do everything I can to keep you safe from harm.” I looked at his serious, beautiful face and felt like crying again. I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. When I walked out Lucien was in the kitchen cleaning up. He saw me and quickly came and scooped me up in his arms. “You should have called me,” he said walking to the sofa and dropping me gently on it then sat beside me. “How do you feel? Still have a headache?” “A bit. I’m sure it’ll be fine soon, especially with the excellent nurse I have,” I said with a smile. “Your wish is my command, my darling, my love,” he said seriously, looking deep into my eyes. Putting his arm around me, he pulled me close and ran his fingers through my hair. I looked away quickly before I drowned in those eyes and I couldn’t afford to do that. We had a few issues to settle and I had to keep a clear head. Pulling his arm away from around my shoulders, I turned to look at him. “Lucien, where do you see us going from here?” “I see us… together Sara. Forever.” I looked intently at his face, trying to detect any signs of falsehood. He looked back at me, clear eyed, earnest and serious. “I’m not going to try and convince you to trust me with words but I am going to show you that I mean everything I say. I promise you Sara Danilov, that I will never, ever do anything to hurt you, not intentionally. If unknowingly, an action or word of mine hurts you, I want you to tell me immediately and I’ll do everything I can to put it right. As long as I live, I’ll never break this promise. “This relationship will be on your terms, whatever you say I’ll follow. Just don’t ask me to leave you because I can’t do that.” My throat choked up listening to him. As I looked into his serious eyes and his earnest face, the defenses I’d put up to protect my heart, crumbled more. “Oh Lucien,” I said and I caressed his cheek. He turned his head to place a burning kiss on my palm. “Somebody up there must love me very much to send you to me,” I whispered with tears in my eyes. “Somebody down here loves you very much too.” My cell phone rang then, it was my mom. Billy had called my family, telling them about last night and mom wanted to make sure I was alright. I assured her I was fine. Mom still sounded worried. “Mom, you don’t need to do that, I’m fine. Billy’s coming to see me after work so I’m being taken care of. Don’t worry.” “No, I’ve got a friend with me” “How do you know about Lucien?! Billy’s been blabbing again, hasn’t he?” I asked hotly. Trust Billy! Why can’t my family just butt out of my life? That’s the reason I came here, so they wouldn’t be too close. Apparently it isn’t far enough. mom replied calmly. I hate when she does this to me. Whenever I lose my temper, mom’s calmness will always make me feel like an impossible spoiled child. “What for?” I asked suspiciously. Damn! Now she’s making me feel guilty. “Mom wants to talk to you,” I said passing the phone to Lucien. Lucien’s eyebrows rose in surprise. They talked for a few minutes and he passed the phone back to me. Yeah right! No way am I going to bring Lucien to the circus the family do always turns into when someone brings a boyfriend or girlfriend. “We’ll see mom,” I answered diplomatically instead and after a few more pleasantries, we said our good byes. “Mom likes you.” “I like your mother too.” “That still doesn’t make you my boyfriend!” Lucien sighed. “Okay Sara, I said we’ll do this your way and if you say I’m not your boyfriend, then I’m not. I’m just a friend who loves you with all his heart. Is that okay with you?” “Since you’re not my boyfriend, I’m free to go out with other guys, right?” I asked. I wanted to see how far I could push him and if he really meant it when he said he’d let me set the terms for this relationship. He looked at me with such a hurt look that I wanted to take my words back but hardened my heart. “Yes Sara, I’m not your boyfriend and you’re free to go out with other guys,” he agreed quietly. Damn, damn, and double damn! My heart was breaking seeing the hurt look on his face. “Fine then, that’s the way it’ll be,” I said flippantly. “But I’m staying here with you and I’m not letting you out of my sight because I promised your mom and Bill that I’m going to take care of you,” he said looking steadily at me. “How am I going to go out with other guys if you’re going to be my shadow and-- and staying with me?” I asked annoyed. “I said you’re free to go out with other guys, not bring them back to the apartment.” “Is this how you’re going to ‘follow what I say’?” I quoted his promise back to him in a hard voice. “Fine, tell me when you want to bring a guy back and I’ll sleep on the sofa,” he replied grimly. “What about this ‘not letting me out of your sight’ business?” “Don’t worry, I won’t interrupt or even eavesdrop on what you’re doing. I’ll stay some distance away but I’m not letting you out of my sight!” he replied in a hard angry voice. We were both glaring at each other by then. Finally Lucien looked away and his shoulders slumped down dejectedly. He gave himself a little shake and stood up. “I’m going to my room to get my stuff,” he said without looking at me. “I won’t be gone long, will you be alright?” he turned to look at me but his face was expressionless and I couldn’t read his eyes. “Yes,” I replied quietly. He left, closing the door softly. I was so wrung out from this morning’s emotional roller coaster that I didn’t know what to feel anymore. I let my mind drift and my tired body took over and I fell asleep. When Lucien got back, he found Sara curled up on the sofa asleep. He sat, looking at her sleeping and thought about this morning. He was hurting and the thought of her with another guy was like acid eating his insides. But he’d made her a promise and he’d keep his promise even if he died trying. He loved this woman so much and he wanted her to be happy. He hoped that one day, she’d love him the way he loved her because the thought of not being with her made his soul cry out in anguish. Lucien picked her up from the sofa and cradled her sleeping body close to his, loving the feel of her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. Billy came over that evening and brought dinner. Mike and Barry were there with Helen, Lucien and me and we sat around joking and talking. It was a fun evening, the few times I’d let down my guard and relaxed and it felt good! Towards the end of the evening, Billy told us how my case was going. He said I might not even have to appear in court since the evidence clearly point that Blake attacked me first and it was self defense. The only trouble was Blake’s extensive injuries. I shouldn’t have hurt him that badly. “You really need to control that nasty temper of yours, you know,” Billy said, shaking his head at me. I gave him a raspberry and grinned. “And you really need to start acting like an adult,” he continued sighing. I gave him another raspberry! The others were laughing by then. “I give up!” Billy said exasperated. I went to Billy, climbed into his lap and hugged him with my head on his shoulders. “You can’t give up on me Billy. Who else can I depend on to bail me out if I get into trouble?” I asked in a little girl voice. Billy rudely shoved me off his lap and I landed butt first on the floor. “That hurt! I’m supposed to get tender loving care at the moment!” I yelled at Billy. “You get more than enough of that from Lucien,” he snorted. “What you need is good spanking.” I gave him another long, noisy raspberry, stuck my fingers in my ears and waggled them. Everybody was laughing uproariously by then, tears streaming down their faces. After a while Billy and I started laughing too. Last night I had been asleep when Lucien got into bed with me but tonight I wasn’t sure how I was suppose to act. I’d always been told that the best defense is a good offense… Lucien walked in then. “You’re not sleeping here, you’re sleeping on the sofa,” I told him. He closed the door and looked at me steadily. “I promised I’ll follow everything you say but I also said the one thing I will not do is leave you.” “This is not leaving me! You’ll still be here except you’re sleeping on the sofa and not in here,” I retorted. “I’m not letting you out of my sight either,” he replied calmly. “What could possibly happen to me here?! You think I’m going to leave the apartment through my bedroom window?” I said, shaking my head in exasperation. “I’m sleeping in here,” he said walking to the bed and started removing his clothes. I glared at him while he calmly took off his shirt and tossed it on the chair. He sat down on the bed removed his shoes and socks then loosened his belt unzipped his jeans and slowly pushed them down. He tossed his jeans on the chair as well. Only his boxers remained by now. Looking steadily at me as he hooked his fingers in the waistband and removed his shorts. His cock sprang free standing straight up from its nest of dark blonde curls. I was blushing profusely by then but looked straight into his eyes and refused to look away. He calmly got into bed and holding the covers up said huskily, “Join me?” Damn him! Fine, if he could play it cool, so can I! I slowly removed my clothes and put them away neatly. For all my bravado I kept my back to Lucien as I did this. I put on my usual nightwear of silk shorts and sleeveless top. I might as well not be wearing anything as the shorts and top barely covered the essentials! I switched off the light and got into bed. Lucien pulled the covers over us and immediately put his arms around me. He started raining soft kisses all over my face and I stiffened and pushed him away. “You may be sleeping in my bed but I never agreed to have sex with you,” I told him in a hard voice. “We’re not having sex,” he replied softly pulling me back and continued kissing me. “Lucien don’t!” and pushed him firmly away. He sighed. “You don’t want to have sex, then we won’t Sara. I just want to love you,” he said pleadingly. “I’m not ready to love you.” He sighed sadly when he heard that. “Very well. Good night then Sara,” and he kissed me softly on my forehead and pulled me close. I could feel his erection, hard and hot on my stomach but Lucien remained still, his skin hot against mine. It felt so good and somehow right to be held in Lucien’s arms. His hard length pressed tightly against me, my cheek resting on chest. I could feel Lucien’s hurt like a tangible thing hovering between us. Time and time again I had pushed him away and hurt him with my words but still Lucien stayed, offering me his love, taking care of me, remaining calm even when I was being impossible. And never pushing for more than I was willing to give. Why can’t I stop being defensive and love him the way he deserved to be loved? Scared Sara Ch. 04 Two days later I went back to class. I told Lucien he couldn't go all possessive and hold me in public. Since he's moved himself into the apartment and seem to have no plan of leaving anytime soon, I made him promise that in public we're friends and nothing more. He reluctantly agreed but still insisted on not letting me out of his sight. Blake hadn't returned to college and I'd heard that he was still in hospital. I was gleeful hearing the news, the bastard will think twice about messing with me after this! Things went on fine for me. Finals were fast approaching and I spent a lot of time in the Library or once in a while joined a study group. Lucien always managed to be wherever I was but smart enough to be unobtrusive about it. One day some of my classmates asked whether we could have a study session and do it at the apartment since I was one of the few who had an apartment and study rooms and every available corner was occupied. I was reluctant, not because I didn't want to join but how was I to explain Lucien staying at the apartment? So far, nobody knew Lucien was staying with me except of course for 'our gang', Barry, Mike, Helen, Lucien and I. Lucien had been as good as his word and even though we slept together every night, he never tried to force himself on me. All he did was to give me a few light kisses and hold me. "Are we on for tomorrow night Sara?" Marcus asked me after class. "Um, sure. Can Lucien join us?" I asked, trying to be casual. "Of course. The more the better especially when we get the two top students in our class!" Marcus grinned back. That night I told Lucien about the study group. "I don't want you to act or say anything that'll make them suspect that you're staying here," I warned Lucien. "But I'll be here when they arrive and I won't be going back when they leave. How can they not suspect?" he protested innocently. "Because you're going to tell them that you arrived early to discuss something with me and when they leave, just tell them you'll be leaving later. And you'd better make sure you're ready and dressed and all your notes and books are already out in the living room. You're not to go to my room for any reason, is that clear?" I glared at him. Somehow his innocent look didn't reassure me. "And try not to act too familiar with the apartment," I pressed further. He didn't say anything but just smiled slightly, still with that innocent look. I glared at him, "Lucien I'm serious." "You certainly are" he grinned back. The next evening, I tidied up the living room. I didn't want any traces of Lucien to be found there. I was getting worried, the other kids should be arriving soon and Lucien was still not back. Was he up to something? The bell rang and I opened the door to let the other kids in. We settled down with our books and notes and were just about to start when Lucien walked in. His skin and clothes were smudged with dirt; it was obvious that he'd just finished farm work. "Sorry guys, I got delayed at the farm. Why don't you all start without me? Just let me get cleaned up and I'll join you," he said calmly and walked to the bedroom. I was blushing furiously and couldn't meet anyone's eyes. I could feel the other kids looking at me questioningly. Taking a deep breath I said, "Shall we start?" and smiled brightly trying to act unconcerned even though my cheeks were still red. I'm going to kill Lucien after this! Every little sound Lucien made, the door closing, the shower starting even his footsteps got magnified in my mind. I tried my best to ignore it and concentrate on the discussion but I could still see the puzzled looks on the other kids faces. Lucien came and sat down unconcernedly, his hair still damp from the shower and joined in the discussion as if nothing happened. I dared not meet his eyes especially in front of the other kids. After about an hour, we took a short break and I went to the kitchen to get some drinks and snacks for the others. Lucien calmly followed to give me a hand. "You bastard, you did this on purpose!" I hissed angrily at him. "What? You don't want my help?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Don't give me that innocent look! You purposely delayed farm work so you'd have an excuse for that beautiful performance, didn't you?!" my voice was rising in my anger. "If you don't want the others to be even more interested than they already are, I suggest you lower you voice," he replied calmly and took the drinks to the living room. Damn, damn, damn! Killing will be too good for him! "So, what's the deal with you guys?" Marcus asked, looking from Lucien to me. "We're friends," I muttered. "Hmm, I'm your friend too aren't I?" he continued with a mischievous grin. "Can I make myself at home here?" "No!" I yelled and glared at Marcus. "Sheesh, sorry. Don't bite my head off!" "Only selected friends are allowed to make themselves at home," Lucien said with a broad smile and winked at Marcus. The other kids were laughing and looking with interest at my red face and Lucien's smiling one. "Can we continue?" I asked irritably. The group left about an hour later and Lucien and I saw them off at the door. As soon as the door closed I stomped to the bedroom, slammed and locked the door. I was so mad I felt I had smoke coming out of my ears and was certainly not in the mood for Lucien's company then, he'll be lucky I don't permanently disable him! I heard a knock on the door and demanded furiously, "What?!" "Sara, let me in," Lucien's voice said calmly. "Go away you bastard, I don't want to see you ever again!" "Can you at least let me explain?" Like he could explain. I kept quiet and didn't answer him. I'm going to sleep and maybe tomorrow, if I had calmed down, I'll be able to look at Lucien without hitting him. "Please let me in," Lucien's voice was pleading. I threw a shoe at the door. Then a book. And my study chair for good measure. I heard Lucien sigh outside and his footsteps walking away. I woke up the next morning not feeling rested at all because I had tossed and turned until almost dawn. I had cursed Lucien every curse I could think of and then some. I stretched tiredly and was thankful that I didn't have classes today. I needed a ride, I decided. A fast, hard ride should clear my head and calm me down I hope. I was still furious with Lucien. I opened the door quietly hoping Lucien was still sleeping and hurried to the bathroom. After my shower, I came out and found Lucien leaning against the wall. I ignored him and walked toward the bedroom. He grabbed my arm and I completely lost my temper. I wrenched my arm free and kicked, sending him crashing into the opposite wall. I grabbed his hair and raised my fist to punch him... when my eyes locked with his. He looked so sad and resigned that I didn't have the heart to hit him. I let his head drop and hurried to the bedroom. Lucien was sitting dejectedly on the sofa when I walked into the living room. I was carrying my helmet and pulling on my gloves when he asked me quietly, "Where are you going?" "None of your damned business!" I snarled back. "Do you want me to move out?" he asked in a low strained voice. That stopped me in my tracks and I turned slowly to face him. He was standing there looking at me and I thought I saw tears in his eyes. My first impulse was to give him a flippant reply then I remembered all that Lucien had done for me, his loving care when I was hurt and his patience no matter how I provoked or hurt him. He deserved better. "No Lucien, I don't want you to move out," I said softly. His eyes flared with gladness and he made a move towards me but I put up my hand, stopping him. "I'm going for a ride, I need to think. We'll talk when I come back, okay?" "Will you be alright alone?" he asked worriedly. "Lucien, I've been taking care of myself for a long time already. I'll be fine," I reassured him with a slight smile. ......... Can't Fight This Feeling (REO Speedwagon) I can't fight this feeling any longer And yet I'm still afraid to let it flow What started out as friendship has grown stronger I only wish I had the strength to let it show I tell myself that I can't hold out forever I say there is no reason for my fear Cause I feel so secure when we're together You give my life direction, you make everything so clear ......... It was already evening by the time I arrived home. The ride had done me good and cleared my head. I was humming the tune as I let myself into the apartment. I had stopped at a diner to grab some lunch earlier and that old song was playing. I had been fighting my feelings for Lucien all this while and I realized, it was time to stop. After all, life was about taking risks, not playing it safe. Now that I'd finally made up my mind, I was excited but also slightly scared. When I went in, the lights were dim and I thought nobody was home. Then I saw the dining table had been set up with fine cutlery and silverware complete with candles and three stalks of pure white roses in a slim crystal vase. I walked towards the table and sniffed the roses. White roses, my favourite! I wondered who had set up this romantic setting. Barry for Helen or... it couldn't be Lucien, could it? "You're back" I heard Lucien's voice behind me. I turned to look at him. He was dressed smartly in dark slacks and a dark blue shirt which accentuated his eyes, his glasses glinting in the dim lighting. His dark gold hair was brushed neatly. He took my breath away and I couldn't say a word, just stared drinking in the sight of him. What a fool I'd been to push him away all this while! He walked slowly towards me and I gestured at the table, my eyes never leaving his. "Barry?" I asked. "No, me," he replied softly pulling me into his arms, nuzzling my cheek. "For you." I closed my eyes and let my head fall back giving him better access to my throat. He nibbled soft kisses along my throat and collarbone, easing my jacket off my shoulder and drew me closer, running his hands tenderly over my body. He raised his head and looked at me with such love in his eyes I felt humbled. "I love you Sara," and he kissed me. Soft, gentle nibbles on my lips then he deepened the kiss, coaxing my mouth open with his tongue. We stayed locked together for long minutes and drew apart slowly. "Helen and Barry won't be back tonight and I thought I'd surprise you with a special dinner at home," he said smiling. "You look nice. You smell nice too," I said nuzzling his throat and inhaling his scent. I was still slightly nervous about letting down my defenses but I was going to be honest with Lucien now and show him that I do care for him. I rubbed my hands on his chest sensuously and I could feel him getting hard. I dropped my hand and rubbed him lightly through his pants, looking into his eyes seductively. He looked startled but groaned and pushed himself into my hands, pulling me tighter to him. "You'd better stop or dinner will have to wait," he murmured huskily. I laughed softly. "Can I have a shower first? I'm covered with road dust." "You want me to help you?" he asked with a mock leer. "I think you better see to dinner," I retorted with a grin. Dinner was wonderful and Lucien refused to let me help with anything. He was very attentive and was in such a humorous mood, I was laughing all through dinner. After dinner, he made tea for me and told me to sit and relax while he cleaned up the kitchen. "Lucien, let me help. You've done everything tonight." "Just relax. Tonight is yours and you're not supposed to do anything." "No, it's our night, so let me help... or I'll throw a tantrum!" I threatened. "Impossible woman," he muttered. "Stubborn man," I replied grinning and gave him a raspberry. We sat on the sofa after that, me with my tea and Lucien with his coffee. "If you drink too much coffee, you won't be able to sleep tonight," I chided him. "Are we sleeping tonight?" he asked softly looking intently at me, his eyes hot. I couldn't meet his eyes and started to blush. He removed the cup and held my hands. "Look at me Sara." I looked into his serious eyes and saw the intent look on his face. "I once told you that when you're ready to give me a chance, tell me because I'll be waiting. I'm still waiting Sara. Are you ready to let me into your life? Not just as a friend but as your boyfriend, partner... and lover." I looked at Lucien for a long silent moment, and then nodded my head slowly, my eyes never leaving his. His eyes heated and his hands tightened on mine almost painfully. "Please say it Sara. I need to hear you say it," his voice was husky. "I want you in my life Lucien. As my boyfriend, partner and lover." Lucien pulled me into his arms and kissed me, his tongue delving into my mouth, stroking sensuously. I pulled him close, loving the feel of his body pressing into mine. My breath caught in my throat when we broke apart and I saw the look of love in his eyes. Thank you god for bringing this wonderful man into my life. We went to the bedroom and he sat me down on the bed. He took off his glasses, kneeled at my feet and removed my shoes. He tickled the soles of my feet and I giggled, shivers going up my spine. His hands were hot as he moved them up slowly to my ankles, my calves and rested them on my knees, gently kneading. My breathing had become ragged and there was a tense, coiled feeling low in my stomach. As his eyes looked hotly into mine, he pushed the hem of my dress up baring my thighs. I moaned as an intense jolt of pleasure shot through me and I felt myself becoming wet. Spreading my knees, he pushed his face forward until his lips barely touched me through my panties. I let out the breath I'd been holding and whimpered, my hands clutching his shoulders. Lucien was hard and aching, the sounds Sara was making driving him to distraction. He wanted this to be perfect for her and didn't want to rush but could feel his control slipping at the sight of her flushed face and the scent of her arousal. He lapped up her juices which were leaking through the panties as his hands continued caressing her satiny calves, the soft flesh at the back of her knees and her thighs. He could feel her muscles quivering under his hand. "Lucien, please" I panted. I was incoherent with desire, his hands and mouth were driving me wild. Smiling slightly, Lucien stood and pulled me to my feet. Wrapping his arms around me he rained soft kisses on my forehead, cheeks and nose. I grabbed his face impatiently, bringing his mouth to mine. We kissed, open mouthed, tongues tangling, hungry and needy. We broke apart breathing raggedly and stared into each other's eyes. Lucien unzipped the back of my dress and let it fall to my feet. He looked at me clad only in my lacy bra and panties with hot, hungry eyes and groaned. "You are so beautiful," he whispered and buried his face on the slopes of my breast exposed over my bra. One hand pulling me tight as he kissed and nipped at my flesh while the other cupped my breast, running his thumb over my nipple through the lace. He unhooked my bra and tossed it impatiently aside. Cupping my breasts he kissed one and then the other. I moaned as I felt the hot warmth of his mouth sucking on my nipples until they were hard and swollen. Hooking his thumbs on my panties, he drew it down. He stood up and started to undress but I stopped him. "Let me Lucien." As I unbuttoned his shirt, I rained kisses on his chest loving the feel of his satiny skin on my lips. Tossing aside his shirt, I unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants. He pushed them down quickly. That beautiful, hard body, all mine! His shorts were tented with his arousal and I touched him tentatively through the material. He drew in his breath sharply when I cupped his balls while my other hand grasped his shaft. I looked up into his eyes, smiled and leaned forward to lick his nipples. He gave a growl of surprised pleasure, crushed me in his arms and kissed me like a man possessed. He pushed me away slightly, yanked down his shorts and pushed me on the bed. He kissed me again, his hands running feverishly over my body. Trailing wet kisses over my breasts and stomach, he reached my pussy and my thighs opened to him. His eyes locked on mine, he licked my cleft from top to bottom several times. I was moaning and clutching any part of him I could reach, my head rolling on the pillow. He thrust a finger into me, suckling on my clit and in a moment I gushed out my first orgasm, panting hoarsely. Lucien got on his knees but when I saw his erection, I felt a twinge of fear. Seeing my expression, he frowned slightly and asked, "What's wrong Sara?" My eyes flew to his and I blushed. A bit late for modesty at this point with Lucien kneeling between my spread thighs, I realized wryly. "I'm-- I'm a virgin," I told him softly. Lying down, he pulled me close and looked concernedly into my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do this? We don't have to if you're not ready." "I am ready Lucien and I want to do this with you." "It's gonna hurt--" he said with a worried frown. "I know," I interrupted gently, caressing his cheek. "It doesn't matter; I want to do this with you." His eyes blazed hotly when he heard that and kissed me again. I could taste myself on him and that excited me even more. Running his hands over me, he proceeded to kiss every inch of my body, driving me crazy with desire. "Lucien, please. I need you now!" I pleaded and pulled him to me. Taking a moment to pull on a condom, he eased himself slowly into me, gritting his teeth. When he reached the barrier of my hymen, he stopped. Looking at me, he asked again, his voice hoarse, "Sara, are you sure?" "Yes Lucien. I want you, please now" I pleaded and pushed my hips towards him. Lucien lost his rigid control when he heard that and with a growl thrust fully into her. And, she screamed. In a slightly panicked voice, he said "God, I'm sorry Sara! Are you alright?" I didn't realize it was going to be this bad! Lucien kept perfectly still for which I was grateful, I wasn't prepared for him to move at the moment. "Y-yes," I gasped. "Just-- just don't move yet." "I won't, I won't," he said fervently. The feel of her tight depths surrounding him was driving him wild but he held himself rigidly in check and remained still. He rubbed her arms, shoulders and back tenderly to sooth her, murmuring sweet words, gently kissing her face and neck. The pain subsided and after a while and I began moving tentatively against Lucien. He started rocking his hips gently, shallow thrusts until he sensed from my movements that I was ready. Slowly he build up his pace until I was arching to meet his thrusts fully and we moved together, awkwardly at first until slowly, we got into the right rhythm. I could feel the tight coil of desire clenching in the pit of my stomach building up to a mind blowing release and pushed myself against him, wanting to get as close to him as I could. He leaned forward and captured my nipple, running his tongue over the tight bud, finally taking it deep into his mouth and suckled. Clutching my hip, he pulled me close, thrusting harder and faster, plunging his length deep into me and I shattered on a wave of intense orgasm, holding him tight, never wanting to let go. My climax set Lucien off as well and I felt him quiver with his own release, pounding into me until the last drop of his seed spilled from his body. Shuddering and panting with our release, we clung to each other and I buried my face in his sweaty neck, inhaling his wonderful scent. A scent that was uniquely Lucien, I realized, having spent the last few weeks sleeping in his arms. Scared Sara Ch. 04 Still buried deep within me, he wrapped his arms tightly around me, dropping light kisses on my hair. I wasn't prepared to move for a week at least. The feel of him against and inside me felt so wonderful, I wanted to savor it for as long as I could. "Are you okay Sara?" he asked gently. "Ooohhh yes," I murmured, caressing his chest. "Lucien?" "Yes love?" "Can we do this again?" He chuckled softly when he heard my question. "As often as you wish. But not just yet, I don't want you to get too sore." I felt him pulling away from me and held him tighter, not wanting to let go. "Don't go Lucien" I cried softly, "Not yet." "We need to get cleaned up," he explained. "Later. Please?" I pleaded. "Whatever you say love," he agreed and we snuggled close to each other. I woke up some time later, wrapped in a feeling of such bliss and contentment. Lucien had slipped out of me and discarded the condom and I found to my surprise, he'd cleaned me up as well. I'd slept through the entire thing. Turning to face him, I propped myself on my elbow and looked lovingly at his sleeping form. I was bursting with so much happiness, it felt like I'd died and gone to heaven. Lucien, my wonderful, beautiful, caring man, he was the stuff of dreams! When I thought of the way he'd made love to me, I wondered with a pang of jealousy just how many women he's had to be such a wonderful lover and immediately scolded myself over that uncharitable thought. Whatever was in Lucien's or my past, was just that -- past, and shouldn't make a difference to either of us. I was finally moving on with my life and Lucien was going to be a big part of my present and my future.