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Saying Goodbye

By: emptyness



The sadness in her eyes glistened like wet tears waiting to fall. Even in the shadows of the room I could see the look clouding her face. Her lips, capable of the tenderest of smiles and such affectionate laughter, were turned down at their soft corners. A quiet discourse had seeped into her with the early morning, as bleak and clouded as the sky outside.

I wrapped my arms around her, feeling her naked skin slide against me, the both of us still damp with sweat from our last night of lovemaking. Neither of us spoke, afraid that speaking aloud would make the oncoming reality loom even closer. I breathed in the honeyed musk of her, still dizzying after the hours we had spent in the room. I knew I needed the sleep that was trying to cloud my mind but I fought against it, not wanting to lose any of this time. Sleep could be found sometime later, sometime after the day had passed.

"What you thinking?" I asked into her hair, my fingers tracing lazy circles against the soft mound of her breast. Her hip shifted between my thighs as she turned, immediately stirring the blood in my resting cock.

Her lips brushed my neck when she spoke. "I don't want to leave this."

I pulled her tighter in my arms, her suppleness crushing alongside me like the tender petals of a flower in my palm. The sleepy daze in my head was falling away, melting beneath the heat that was beginning to rise. "I don't want you to leave."

Her fingers tightened into my ribs as she drew in a heavy breath. Her foot slid against my shin, pushing the blanket down even further. Cool air gathered over our bodies. "Shh. Don't," she whispered, her fingers stopping my lips before I could utter another word. Her body, lithe and graceful, slid around mine so that she was looking down into my face.

"I want you inside me once more before I leave."

Her lips spoke against mine, replacing the fingers that slid down my throat to rest on my chest, seeking out the beating of my heart. We melted into each other slowly, the taste of one another stirred by the cuatious touch of our tongues. Her breasts swung against my chest as she perched over my hips and my hands found their way to the sides of her thighs.

A soft groan echoed inside her as I playfully caught her lower lip between my teeth. My fingers kneaded the flesh of her ass and my tongue pushed past her lips with its urgency. I raised one hand to the nape of her neck, sliding under her silken hair. I could feel a moan rising in the back of my throat but it was as though the air within me had dissipated. My body tried arching upwards against her of its own violation, like the attraction between two magnets. I could not control myself when I was with her, wanting to give her everything within me.

I did not want this to hurry along. I was not a believer in fate, even though she laid in my arms. The time with her was fleeting, I knew, and I was not prepared to let go so soon. I would never know if she would ever find her way back into my arms. I did not want to let the moments I shared with her end so soon. "Oh god," she murmured when my teeth pressed against her tender throat. She tilted her head back, her breasts pushingdeeper against my chest. At the same time, her hips shifted over me, letting my stiffening cock free to rise up between her thighs. I imagined I could feel the moist lips of her cunt waiting to grant entrance, glistening my eager cock with readiness, her heat pressed against me becoming a smoldering fire wanting to be ablaze. The way her hips twisted, I knew she was waiting as well. We were both waiting, but I was scared now to rush forward.

"Casey," I whispered against her ear, tugging at her earlobe with my lips, my breath sifting through her hair. Sighs slid from me into her, slid from her into me. My hand roamed over her taunt abdomen to furtively cup the weight of her breast. Within the palm of my hand it felt like a a soft globe of warmth, set with the hard tip of her aroused nipple held taunt be the silver bar ran through the puckered flesh. I rolled the metal between my fingers, twisting her nipple slightly, just enough to elicit a moan from deep inside her.

"Please," she murmured, her hands pushing down on my chest. "god, please."

She slid down onto me, my cock slowly pushing into her warmth, blood throbbing in its veins. She moaned almost silently as her fingernails bit into the flesh of my chest. A slight quiver ran through her and her breath began to quicken. I tried to hold back, to enter her so slowly, but she slid down until I was buried tight inside her and a delicious shudder shook my body. My hips rolled up to drive deeper into her, the muscles in my thighs shaking.

Her lips were trembling as she looked down at me, her eyes still slightly moist as they met mine. I reached up and touched my fingertips to her cheek, then brought her face down to mine. Our lips met in a fevered kiss, enguling the both of us in its heat. Her hair fell across my face and her nipples traced warm lines on my chest.

Casey twisted her hips as she rode me, going slow, drawing all of me in her before rising up until only the head of my cock was tucked inside her wet lips. Sinking softly back down until I could feel her clit gyrating against the base of my cock. I raised myself up into her thrusts, matching her rhythm, waiting for her to want more. She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly, kissing the soft flesh below my jaw, breathing words against my ear that made me cringe at the thought of letting her go. Her name seemed to be carried out on every breath that left my lips.

We turned over in unison,rolling across the bed so that she lay under me. I raised myself up so that I could look down at her, look at how beautiful she was. I let my hand smooth a caress from her arm to her breast, cupping her and tracing my thumb around her hard nipple. She arched upwards as I drove my dick into her, staying deep inside her as I ground against her aroused clit. Her mouth opened in a silent gasp as she dug the back of her head into the pillow.

"Oh please. Please. Fuck me," she said between breaths. "Make me cum."

I sighed heavily from the stirring effect her words brought to me. Listening to her talk when lost in the moment would always send shivers through me, making me want to drive over the edge with abandon.

Her hand replaced mine against her breast as my hands slid to the flare of her hips. I looked to where we were joined, watching my cock sliding in and out of her repeatedly with quick, even thrusts, pausing only when I crashed against her flesh. She lifted herself to meet each stroke and each time I drove all the way into her, a sharp breath left my lips. My fingers intertwined with hers at her hip and I heard her say my name.

"Don't stop. Don't...oh yeah," she breathed out with her eyes clenched tight. I could feel that thickening begin to start, the need to explode coming closer. My mouth seemed to shiver with each breath and my fingers dug deeper into her skin. Drops of sweat rolled down my cheeks and I could taste her in the air.

"You feel so good," I said against her lips. "I don't wanna stop being inside you."

I held myself against the length of her body, trying not to slow down the tempo we had found but wanting to feel the heat of her skin and the curves of her body against me when I went over the edge. I felt so perfectly connected with her, as though this was the way life was meant to be. As if this was where I belonged.

Her nails burrowed into skin as she pulled me tight against her, her moans hot air burning my cheek until her lips found mine. At the same moment, my lungs seemed to refuse any more work and my heart thumped hard one last time against the wall of my chest before seizing up as it always does right then. Muscles strained forward, trying to bring the rest of my body inside her as my cock found its release. I heard incoherent words push their way out of my mouth as I slowed my pace. Each thrust dragged my cock against the sides of her shaking cunt, sending electric trembles through my skin as her body shuddered in pleasure against me. I held her in my arms, her warm, soft skin feeling like the only place I ever wanted to be. I kissed her cheek, feeling her breath cool the dampness on my neck.

I wanted to say something more but I didn't know if the words belonged at this moment. I didn't know what she would think. I lifted my head to look into her eyes and kiss her and tell her how wonderful she was, but I was stopped short.

Her lips were slightly parted in that content smile of hers, but tears were running down into her hair. She looked over to catch me watching her and, though her smile showed her joy and affection, the tears seemed to quicken. I brushed my thumb over the wet path and gently touched her lips with mine.

"You are so wonderful," she whispered, taking my hand and clasping it between her breasts, over her racing heart. The pulsing beat found its way into my skin and felt like it was my own.

"No," I said, gently shaking my head. "No, but you make me feel wonderful."

We laid there staring at each other for a while, letting the silence speak the things we could not say aloud. Our fingertips gently stroked each other's bodies, seeking to make memory out of touch. When the sun finally made its way through the curtains, we were dozing lightly in each other's arms, lost in the contentment we had found in each other.

_____________________

Two hours later, when the bags were thrown in her Jeep, we stood next to the road holding each other tight. Neither of us wanted to let go and neither of us could say what might come. I felt heavy inside, a weight placed over my heart that would not be lifted for some time. I did not want to relinquish the feel of her body in my arms, nor give up the sight of her so near me, nor the thought that I would see her soon. I wanted to lie to myself, convince myself that it would not be that long, but I was never much for optimism.

Our kiss felt so short, so denied. The thought that I may never again feel the touch of her lips hovered above us and I pulled her even closer into my embrace. To have to let go of her seemed too wrong but I knew that reality would not bend for all that I felt inside. When our kiss broke, I stared into her eyes, wishing to see some glimpse of the future but only finding my sadness mirrored in her.

When I said goodbye to Casey, my voice hid the words I feared to say. 

Saying Goodbye



This story all took place on what was a very sad week for me. Joanne had been a good friend of mine for years, we had never been together as a couple, we had kissed and fooled around a bit in various different situations but we had never gone as far as to call ourselves a couple (much to my disappointment).

I had asked Joanne if I could see her before she moved away to university but she was too busy packing to go out anywhere, she did however invite me round to her house to help her pack.

I arrived at Joanne's and she took me up to her room which was a mess, boxes everywhere! I sat on Jo's bed as she packed various books and videos in to the correctly labelled boxes.

Suddenly from a pile of dirty clothes on her floor, Joanne flicked a pair of dirty knickers up in to my face. I think she expected me to call her disgusting and throw them back at her or something but instead I picked them up off of my lap where they landed after hitting my face and held them up in front of me by the waste band to examine them - a nice frilly, cream coloured, silky thong.

"Are these for me?" I asked when is when Jo got the opportunity to say "ugh, don't be disgusting" to me. Jo tried to snatch them back but I pulled them away.

"Do you really want them?" Joanne said.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind"

"What for?" she asked.

"I dunno, as a reminder of you when you're gone."

I moved my hands down on to my lap trying to cover the bulge that was forming in the front of my jeans which I'm sure Joanne was aware of as I sat on the bed in front of her. Joanne then caught me of guard and grabbed the panties out of my hands, at the same brushing the length of my cock with her fingers making it stand straight to attention.

Joanne then did something I didn't expect, she jumped on to my lap so that she was sat facing me and pushed the crotch of her cream thong in to my face pushing me backwards on the bed, forcing me to lie down with her sat on top of my cock, she must have been able to feel it through my jeans, she was only wearing a thin skirt. 

The crotch of her panties with the dried sweet smell of her pussy flowing through it was pushed up against my nose.

"Do you like them?" she asked.

I tried to answer yes but it was hard to talk with Jo's hands and her panties pushed against my face. I did manage to breathe in though and wow! The thong had defiantly been recently worn and it smelt fantastic, the smell of Jo's pussy filling my head caused me to wriggle beneath her.

Still with the panties covering m nose Joanne reached behind her with one hand and undid her skirt, she lifted it off over her head. I was no led on my back with dirty panties held against my now while Joanne sat on top of me in just a short white crop top and a pair of pretty yellow knickers. I could feel the heat of her panty covered pussy on my cock even though they were separate by my jeans.

Jo started rocking back a forth on my cock, her yellow thong rubbing against the crotch of my jeans. My breathing increased through the panties over my nose, each sniff of Jo's pussy juice causing me to push up and grind against her now very wet pussy.

I could see the wet patch forming on the front of the yellow thong Jo was wearing. Jo continued to rub her self against me, she started to get red in the face and began to shake, her thighs tightened around my waste as she started to orgasm on top of me, as she climaxed she let her self fall forwards on top of me and for the first time moved the panties from my face so that she could kiss me.

We hugged for a few minutes until Joanne became aware of my hard cock sticking in her leg, she climbed off of me a knelt down at the side of the bed. Jo undid my jeans and pulled out my cock. Begging for attention – she started to stroke my aching dick and gave me the best hand job in memory. She stroked my cock gently and lovingly, speeding up at the end just as I erupted hitting her arm, her bare legs and even getting some in her hair.

Joanne stood up and put her skirt pack on but then reached up underneath and pulled down her wet yellow panties and handed them to me.

"Here you can have these" she said, "come on, get up, you can help me pack."



Saying Goodbye



~1~ 

The young woman was shivering in a dark corner, watching the traffic go by. Each time a big truck passed by she was buffeted with a blast of freezing wind. She was tucked away next to a rest area, not fifty feet from the shoulder of I-85 North. It had rained earlier that evening and the air still carried a chilly mist with it. Her damp clothes did little to shield her from the cold, ragged as they were. The thin blouse and denim jeans she was wearing were soaked. She had a raging headache and she was coughing every few seconds. She could feel a wet, heavy feeling in her lungs each time she coughed. The girl knew that she was sick, and if she didn't get out of the cold and put some antibiotics in her system, she was sure to come down with pneumonia, if she didn't have it already. Suddenly she winced and then gritted her teeth as a hard shudder ran over her entire body. She rubbed her arms frantically for a few moments, and then held them tight against her chest. 

The cold wasn't the only reason she was shaking.

She had been trying all afternoon to work up the nerve to ask someone for money. Her stomach had been rumbling and growling for the past two hours. Across from where she was hidden stood a pair of vending machines, next to the entrance to the bathrooms. They had been mocking her, as if in response to the growling in her stomach. The girl was deathly afraid to ask someone for money, for fear of being raped. Worse than rape, she thought, was being seen at all. She could not believe the mess she had landed herself in. Every time someone looked at her she felt an indescribable ache. She wanted to hide her face away from the world. And as she stood there shivering, a small voice in the back of her head whispered to her. 

'Maybe the risk of being raped isn't as bad as going hungry' 

The young woman started crying, as she had countless times recently. She decided that she would ask the next person she saw for some money. Just a little, enough to get something from those damnable vending machines that had been staring her down since her ride dropped her off here hours ago. There was a time when her looks alone would command anything she wanted without having to ask. Slowly, as her life tilted into the downward spiral that brought her to where she was now, her looks had diminished along with everything else. Days before, while trying to catch a ride, she learned that her appearance didn't catch people's eye like they used to, and it was yet another harsh reality she had to face that left her crying and alone. She was still a pretty girl, but she no longer believed it. In her current state it was almost impossible to believe. 

Suddenly harsh light bathed her small corner, and then it was gone. A car pulled into the rest area parking lot. She hoped she hadn't been seen. Secretly the young woman was hoping the car would leave so she could spare herself the agony of asking a stranger for money. Her stomach gurgled again, and she immediately resigned herself to the task. She heard a door slam and then footsteps approaching her. Moments later she saw a swift shadow pass by. The person was walking fast to get out of the cold. She heard the creak of a door opening and she peeked around the corner to see the men's room door closing. She looked around carefully and stepped out into the light. The fluorescent lights overhead cast an angry glare, making her cover her eyes momentarily. She felt dizzy and realized she was staggering a bit as she moved. The girl wasn't sure if it was from the cold she was nursing or from something else. She straightened her hair a bit and stood next the steps leading up to the rest area. She was afraid to look too obvious, but was unsure if she could look like anything else. Either way, she knew she had to try. She took a few steps back until she was standing at the top of the steps, barely in the light. The girl didn't want the man to see her face. The men's room door opened and a man dressed in black stepped out. 

He was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a solid black tie. Business like, but not flashy looking. Utilitarian, she thought. He was wearing black leather gloves and black boots. His hair was close cut with a bit of scalp shining through. His skin was well tanned. He saw the young woman standing there and nodded to her as he passed. The man looked like he could be a cop, or maybe a DEA agent. Something about the man said serious business to her. That made the girl nervous, but he hadn't hit on her or seemed to pay her much attention, so she decided it was worth the risk. The worse he could do was clap her in handcuffs and put her in the back seat of his car where it would be warm and dry. He would have the heater on, and she could warm up while her clothes dried. She might end up in jail for loitering, but then she would have a clean dry cot to sleep on with sheets, and suddenly she remembered that they would have to feed her, and… 

Part of her was in disbelief that she was almost salivating at the thought of going to jail just so she could eat and get out of the cold. The man was halfway down the steps leading to the parking lot when she called out to him. 

"Excuse me Sir." She said. Her voice sounded like a thin squeak. 

The girl was wracked with a deep series of coughs. It took her moments to catch her breath. The man in black was staring at her intently. One look at her clothes and he knew this was a woman in trouble. She thought of a quick lie, one that she hoped sounded honest enough. 

"The machine took my money. I was wondering if you might..." 

The man held his right hand up, cutting her words short. He walked back up the steps to her, and then reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. 

"Say no more, young lady." The man said, and held his hand out to her. "My pleasure."

She was staring blankly at the bills in the man's hand. For some unknown reason she felt flushed. The girl couldn't put a name to the strange rush that ran over her. Maybe it was relief, or just plain old fashioned shock. In an instant it came to her, though. It was hope. Something she had never placed any value on, because for her entire life she never had to hope for anything. When she wanted something, she always got it, and now she was about to break down into a sobbing mess because a stranger was giving her money just so she could eat. The young woman had never even acknowledged hope before, and now it was all she ever did. She started crying again, and doubled over as another bout of coughs overtook her. The man waited for her coughing to pass, not moving. His eyes were set on her with obvious concern. As she stood back upright her eyes fixed on the money in his hand. He took a step closer to hand her the money, and their eyes met. 

Her eyes were shot with streaks of red. Makeup hadn't touched her face in untold days and her hair was a damp matted mess. He could tell her hair was a deep coppery red, although now it was a greasy mat of dark brown. Behind the bleary red her eyes were a soft blue. 

The man's eyes widened suddenly as a cold prick of memory stabbed at his heart like an icy finger. He knew those eyes. 

"Holy Hell." He said to the young woman. "It's you." 

~2~

She stood there for a moment, baffled. It took several seconds for his words to register. She was staring at the cash in a semi-daze when the words came back to her. 'It's you' they echoed, and suddenly she realized he knew her. Her eyes met his again and she felt overwhelmed. She felt a sudden urge to run away and hide, to cover her face and wait until he was gone. But he was standing there looking at her, not three feet away. 

"Oh my God." She said without breath. "Nails."

She turned her back to him and started to walk away. It was the only thing she knew to do. She couldn't make herself face him. Her hunger was momentarily forgotten as she found herself awash with shame and humiliation. And damn it if she wasn't mad that he had seen her in such a mess. 

"Thanks. But I can't." She mumbled, looking down at the ground as she spoke. "I'm sorry." 

Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she took an uneasy step away. 

"Don't." He said. "Please."

'Don't you dare turn around' she thought to herself, and then the voice in the back of her head chimed in. 'You'd be a fool not to girl'.

Over the past several weeks she had grown to hate that voice. In part because it reminded her of her mother's voice, but mostly because the voice was always right. She had yet to accept that her impetuous nature had grown out of a luxury she no longer had. Just another one of the many small privileges she had taken for granted. When you're beautiful, you're rarely ever wrong. Even when you're wrong you're right.

'And when you're not so beautiful any more, the world changes around you.' Echoed the voice in her head.

She stopped and turned around slowly with the firm intention of telling him thanks, but no thanks. She mustered the strength to look him in the eyes, for what she thought would be the last time. When their eyes met she felt what little strength she had drain away. Looking into his eyes was like bloodletting, as if all of the warmth in her body was violently wrenched away. She staggered a little as they stood there looking at one another. 

"At least let me give you a ride. There's no sense in you being out in the rain." He said. "You're sick."

"I can't." was the only reply she could manage. 

For several moments they stood there, simply staring at one another, neither one of them knowing what to do next. 

"Well I'm not going to leave you here like this." He said with a tone of finality in his voice. 

He put the money back in his jacket pocket, and her heart sank. For all the embarrassment she felt, she was suddenly afraid for him to leave. She would be alone and cold again. And hungry. She knew that moments later he would be gone.

Instead he took his jacket off and draped it over her shoulders. It felt warm and heavy and smelled faintly of cologne and leather. He wrapped it tightly around her and then gripped her shoulders firmly. 

"Keep the money. I don't want to leave you like this, but I'm not going to force myself on you. Just be careful, please." 

He looked into her eyes again, and she saw he was filled with anguish. She had seen that in his eyes before, on a hot June night long ago. He turned and walked away. A loud rumble of thunder echoed overhead, followed by a gentle hiss as rain began to fall. As he moved out of the light and into the rain she could see dark raindrops staining the shoulders of his white shirt. Moisture was clinging in his hair, catching in the lights. As he reached the foot of the steps he stopped and turned to her. He looked at her again, then hung his head and left. 

She felt a sense of both giddy relief and intense pain, watching him leave. She knew that moments later she would be eating. Certainly it would be sugary junk food followed by sugary soda, but it was food. Her stomach instinctively clenched at the thought of eating. Her first thought was to dash back to the vending machines, when a chill ran through her followed by a round of deep, painful coughs. She pulled the collar of his jacket up around her neck to stave off the cold and she caught a faint scent. It took her a moment to place the smell, and once she recognized it, she felt another chill. It was him.

~3~

He sat there behind the wheel of his black Crown Vic, his eyes closed as he listened to the rain pattering on the roof of the car. He turned the ignition key and the big car came to life with a muscular purr. He opened his eyes and wiped away tears, then grabbed the gear shifter and put the car into reverse. With his foot on the brake he took one last look toward the rest area. It was storming now, almost obscuring it from his view. She was no longer standing at the stop of the steps. She was gone. 

"It ain't the first time, Kid." He told himself. 

There was a tap on the window, and by reflex his right hand reached into the crook of his left arm, just below the shoulder. He looked up and saw she was standing there in the pouring rain. 

Moments later she was sitting in the car next to him. Without speaking he turned the heater on and she felt a glorious rush of warm air flow over her. At that moment she remembered how cold natured he was. Even in the cold of winter he would not use a heater. For some peculiar reason he enjoyed the cold. It was always a chore to convince him to wear winter clothing, unless he was going to work. When he worked he always wore the same thing, unless it was raining or bitter cold. A dark suit, white shirt, dark tie and black boots. And those two cannons he carried, one under each arm. It occurred to her that he was dressed for work but he wasn't carrying his guns with him. Maybe he wasn't doing the same work anymore, although she couldn't imagine him doing anything else. She remembered how she both loved his stolid nature but hated how predictable and staid he was. And how he loved the cold. Somehow it fit his quiet nature. 

"You're not supposed to go outside barefoot in the cold." She always scolded him, to which he always gave the same reply. "You're not supposed to do a lot of things." He would say wryly, with a quick flick of his tongue and raised eyebrows.  

All these memories were coming back to her, as if from some lost void in her life. That was, sadly enough, precisely how she felt. Lost. 

The voice in her head made itself known again, much to her chagrin. 'Maybe you're not as lost now as you were a few minutes ago'

"Thank you." She said with a heavy sigh. 

"You're welcome." He replied. "I'll take you home and you can get some rest. If you'll just tell me where you want to go."

"I don't really… have a place to go." She replied, and she found herself crying uncontrollably. 

He sat there quietly as she sobbed. He wanted badly to pull her to him and hold her. He ached to hold her, but he would not. Secretly she wished he would, too. Not because it was him, but because it had been so long since she felt wanted by anyone. He backed the car out of its parking spot and guided it onto the interstate. He reached over and opened the dash and pulled out a few napkins, placing them in her lap. 

"Thanks." She said, drying her eyes. "I'm sorry I'm such a wreck." 

"Don't apologize. Sometimes crying is the only thing that helps."

His words tugged at her heart, bringing more tears. So many times he had been able to comfort her with the simplest of words, even if they brought her to tears with their honesty. It pained him to see her crying, and more so because he felt helpless to do anything. Years ago he came home from work to find her hidden under a pile of blankets crying like she was now. Her mother had called her to deliver terrible news. Her dog, an aged golden retriever that had been with their family for many years had died and she was dearly brokenhearted. He held her as she cried. 

"I'm sorry." She cried from underneath her refuge of blankets. 

"Don't apologize for crying baby." He told her. "Sometimes all you can do is cry it all out."

Those words echoed in her mind as they drove through the rain. He inhaled deeply then spoke, as if taking great care with his words. 

"I'm not going to ask you what happened. If it was any of my business I would know. Just tell me what I can do to make it better."

There were several long awkward moments of silence between them.

"I can't ask you for anything else." She finally answered. "Just… I don't know. Take me anywhere. I'll figure it out."

"It's a long ride, but I'll be glad to take you back home to your mom's. I know she'll be glad to see you. There's no reason we can't be civil for a little trip. And I'm not trying to be preachy but you need some antibiotics in your system. I know pneumonia when I see it."

She felt a sting of anger. It always made her mad when he talked to her like that, even though she knew he had genuine intentions. Most of all it pissed her off when she knew he was right. She knew she didn't have the benefit of arguing, but she also knew she couldn't go home.

"My mom's not home right now." 

He knew she was lying, but he decided to let it go. 

"Ok. Tell me where you want to go. I'll take you there." 

"I don't want to make you miss work. That's why you're out here, right?" 

"Yes." He replied with resignation in his voice. "But I'm not on a set schedule. I have a few days at my disposal if I need them. I can take you to your sister's in Atlanta if you like."

She instantly felt a spike of resent. Her sister would welcome her with open arms, but she couldn't bear to be seen by her sister in such a condition. She would scold her smugly, in that prim and proper way that always drover her insane. That would open her up to explain and relive the past several months of her life and she wasn't ready for that yet. Not yet, if ever. Her sister would sit there smiling, agreeing at all the agreeable moments and disagreeing at all the expected times, and all the while she would revel in her failure because that was the way she was. Her sister always believed that her own shit did not stink, and she knew it. 

'You're being awfully childish for someone in such great need' interrupted the voice in her head. She sat there in silence, not knowing what to say next. 

"Well I know you're hungry." He said, breaking the silence. "So at the next stop I'll get something for you to eat." 

She felt herself wither with shame, but had no defense to offer other than a quiet "Thank you." 

For the next several minutes they sat quietly as the big black Crown Vic cut a path through the rainy night. Compared to the miserable conditions she found herself in at the rest stop, the inside of his car felt like a weekend at the Biltmore. Fatigue, stress and hunger were taking their toll on her, as she felt herself fading fast. She yawned, and moments later he did as well. 

"That's highly contagious." He quipped.

"I know. Sorry."

"Don't apologize. There's a place to eat a few miles from here. You can get some food and then get some sleep." 

He pushed a button on the stereo and soft music floated through the air. She closed her eyes and tried to relax, letting the music occupy her mind so she didn't have to listen to her grumbling stomach. She had never been so hungry in her entire life. Being in the warm car seemed to have increased her appetite tenfold. As the music played she felt her eyes grow heavy. For the first time in months, she felt safe. Uncertain to no end, but safe. The music sounded heavenly as she rested for the first time in days.

'I looked at the morning After being up all night I looked at my haggard face in the bathroom light I looked out the window And I saw that ragged soul take flight I saw a black crow flying In a blue sky Oh I'm like a black crow flying In a blue sky'

~4~

She woke with a gasp, not realizing she had dozed off. He was sitting next to her with a cardboard drink carrier in his lap, nestling two tall cups. Between them on the seat was a yellow to-go bag, and the delirious smell of food had filled the cabin of the car. He took a cup out of the carrier and held it out to her. The aroma of coffee quickly brought her out of her sleep, invigorating her senses. She took the coffee, and instantly the warm cup felt wonderful in her hands. 

"Black, with three sugars." He said as he opened the bag, removing a large white container and placing it in her lap. "No need to be shy." 

She opened the box, and for a brief moment she felt the urge to cry again. It was almost overflowing with scrambled eggs, two round sausage patties and two wedges of toast tucked into one corner. She would have never believed that something as simple as food could have brought her to tears, yet there it was in her lap. And it was beautiful. 




Saying Goodbye



He took a plastic packet from the bag and opened it for her then placed it on the seat between them. It contained a plastic knife and fork and a solitary napkin. Manners forgotten, she took the fork and dug in. A primal sense of exhilaration overcame her as she ate. Every nerve in her body seemed to scream 'Yes!' in unison. In minutes the food was gone, and she was awash with fatigue so strong it bordered on unconsciousness. Without asking he took the empty container and cup, putting them in the bag. 

"Your seat reclines, if you want to lie back." He told her, but she was already asleep. 

He sat there watching her as she slept. He cradled his head in his hands, and with a sigh he cranked the car. Minutes later they were several miles away, the Crown Vic consuming mile after mile of asphalt as she slept next to him. Every few seconds he found himself looking at her as she slept. 

"Don't do it man." He whispered to himself. "Don't. You know how it will end." 

He was grateful she was sleeping so soundly. If not, she might have waked to see him crying. He ached to reach over and touch her, just a quick touch of her cheek or to brush his fingers through her hair. 

"Don't." He said again. "Don't you dare."

Shaking his head, he tried to concentrate. He pulled a cell phone from a jacket pocket and pressed a button. An electronic female voice prompted him. 

"Please say a command." 

"Call Edsel." He spoke slowly. 

"Calling." The voice replied, followed by a pause. "Edsel." 

The phone rang several times as he knew it would, and then a raspy voice answered. His old friend wouldn't have answered for any else, but he knew when he called it would not go ignored. 

"Godammit Nails this better be good." The gravely voice barked. 

"It is. I'm about a hundred miles northwest of Atlanta, and I need some antibiotics bad. Preferably something strong. Augmentin if you can. Amoxicillin at the least. And Pedialyte and Robitussin, the strong stuff."

"Gimme a minute." The voice replied groggily and then the line went silent. After four or five minutes the voice returned. "Ok, you got it. You'll be getting a call from a twenty-four hour pharmacy in a few minutes. They will give you directions."

"Edsel you're the absolute best, man."

"Yes I am, now ain't I?" He chuckled. "So you're working while you're sick now, eh? Man you really ought to think about retiring. You've gotta spend some of your life on you, sooner or later."

"You're right, as usual Edsel. But this is one job I've got to finish."

"I know, I know. Just make sure to take care of yourself. You're alright, aren't you?"

He gave a long sigh. He could never lie to his friend, not even if he tried. 

"No, Edsel. I'm not. But I will be." 

"Good enough, now you take care. Let me know if you need anything." 

There was a click and the line went dead. He put the phone back in his pocket and his eyes made their way back to her. Even in her current state, she was beautiful to him. Despite how badly he wanted to touch her, even if only for the briefest of touches, he would not allow himself to do it. And so he drove on while she slept.

~5~

She woke to a strange sound. A faint sliding noise that repeated every few seconds. She wiped the sleep away from her eyes and her hands instinctively went to her hair, a habit she developed long ago in her former life. She was blessed with a wealth of beautiful hair, copper red with a light undertone of chestnut brown. Early on she realized how people noticed her hair, and being a girl it naturally became a source of great pride and vanity for her. She couldn't count the times someone told her how pretty it was in the sunlight, a deep burnished red color that shone beautifully. As she ran her fingers through her hair, it felt a terrible, dirty mess. Suddenly she coughed again, a deep painful cough that felt as if it were tearing her insides apart. 

She had been sleeping like a rock, without waking or any dreams. She didn't realize how fatigued she had let herself become. A chill ran though her and she pulled the covers tightly around her, marveling at how soft and warm they felt. Then it occurred to her that she had no idea where she was, and then the events of the night before suddenly came back to her. She sat upright, still clutching the blankets. He was sitting on a bed next to hers, looking at her in concern. Looking around her, she saw the room was very tidy and sterile looking. They were in a hotel room.

He was wearing the same suit (or one that looked just like it, which she remembered would be typical of him; he always kept six of the same suits in his closet. It was something she always regarded as terribly clichéd but mildly amusing). She heard the sliding sound again and then she saw where it was coming from. He had a straight razor in his right hand, and the end of his belt in the left. The belt was looped around the toe of one boot and he was holding it tight with one hand while he slid the razor down its length with the other. 

"You still sharpen it every day." She said flatly. 

She recognized the razor, an old Solingen she gave him for Christmas a long time ago. He collected them, a habit she found to be slightly macabre but fascinating. He even shaved with the damned thing, a daily task she observed with faint amazement. She feared he would slip and cut his own throat until she saw him using it. He brushed the razor across his face with a practiced ease that bordered on being grandeur, expertly gliding it against his skin with precise pressure. Suddenly she had a memory of a cold November night ,when in a moment of impulsive foreplay, he held her down and shaved her with the same razor, only he hadn't shaved her face. She remembered being horribly frightened at first, then insanely aroused. She looked away from him, blushing. 

'Long damned time since that happened…' chimed the voice in her head.

"Old habits, you know." He replied. 

She started to speak but instead was overtaken by another round of coughs. He closed the razor without looking at it and slipped it into his right boot and then stood up, sliding the belt back on. He walked into another room, and she heard the clinking of dishes followed by the beeping of a microwave. The coughing fit passed and she pulled the covers away for a moment, looking down. To her relief she was still wearing her clothes. She noticed a large suitcase at the foot of her bed. It looked new, a store tag on the handle. She remembered that it wasn't like him to buy new luggage, unless that tattered old leather thing he kept when he traveled had finally fallen apart. She realized she remembered so many small things about him. Things she didn't hate quite as much as she had once convinced herself she hated him. Slowly, so many things were coming back to her. She had secretly wanted to throw his old leather satchel away, but didn't because he told her it was given to him by someone he cared for very much. She never asked who gave it to him, but a mild burning resent always pricked at her, wondering if it was given to him by another woman. 'It was given to me by someone who's gone now' was all he ever said about it. 

She noticed a small brown paper bag sitting on a table between the beds, and on the floor by her bed was a large Target bag with the top tied closed in a neat knot. She heard three quick beeps and the familiar rattle of silverware. He returned, holding a coffee cup. A lazy head of steam rose from the cup. She had no idea what was in the cup, but suddenly she wanted it very badly. Another chill shook her, as if her body was announcing its agreement. He gave her the cup and she took it eagerly. 

"It's chicken broth." He said. "And if you don't mind…"

He took the paper bag and sat it in his lap, opening it and fishing around in it. He pulled out a brown plastic bottle. He shook it, the contents rattling. 

"Seven day supply. It should be more than enough to clear up that mess in your lungs." He said, opening the bottle and shaking out two pills into his palm. "They're strong antibiotics, so you'll need to eat again."

She was too mesmerized by the aroma of the broth to argue. He held his hand out and she took the pills without even looking at them. She placed them on her tongue with a shaky hand and took a sip of the broth. It felt like warm heaven going down, and she realized she was very hungry again. He reached into the bag and pulled out a slender bottle. Cough syrup, she recognized. He removed the cap and sat it on the table next to her. She turned the cup up and drank the rest of the broth in two big gulps. Her stomach seemed to scream in protest. A brief mental Image came to her, the plant from that old movie Little Shop of Horrors. "Feed me!" it screamed, and then her stomach growled as if the plant were hiding in her stomach, demanding to be fed. She felt another cough coming on, a hard itch deep in her chest. She sat the cup aside and then grabbed the bottle of cough syrup, taking a long pull from it. Almost instantly she felt lightheaded and saw stars swim before her eyes. 

"Codeine." He said, taking the bottle from her shaking hand and replacing the cap. "And alcohol. You're dehydrated so you might want to take small sips." 

"Thanks." 

"You're welcome. Let me know when you're ready to eat. I'll call room service and get some breakfast. I could stand to eat myself." 

She sat there reeling a bit, but with relief as the urge to cough faded away. The effects of the strong cough syrup washed over her like warm water and she lie back down. Her mind was racing, though. She wanted to say something, but didn't know what to say or where to start. Somehow 'Thanks' seemed meaningless and hollow after saying it over and over again. She finally spoke after many long moments of deliberation.

"I'm really grateful for all of this. But I don't want you thinking you have to do it." She said, hoping it sounded the way she meant it. "I mean, I'm glad you found me. I'm, I'm glad to see you. I'm just sorry it has to be like… like this."  

"You don't have to apologize. I understand." He replied. "I really do. Please don't think I would hold it against you." 

Something he said to her years before came to mind, during an argument. It was their last argument, actually. He was standing in the doorway of their bedroom, an empty condom wrapper clenched in his hand. He had tears in his eyes. 'Sooner or later, everyone goes through a time when they're down and out. The question is, what are you gonna do when it's your turn?' he said, crying. He dropped the condom wrapped and then walked out. That was the last time she had seen him, until last night. Suddenly she felt angry and ashamed at the same time. 

'This is a bad time to relive all of that' rang the voice in her head. For the first time, she was in total agreement with the voice. 

"I appreciate all of this." She said, turning her head to look him in the eyes. It wasn't as difficult to do as it was the night before, but it still stung a bit. 

She got a better look at him this time, noticing how he had changed. He had lost weight and looked taller somehow. There was more silver in his hair, and his eyes looked weary and worn. Their eyes met for several moments then he looked away.

"Anyway." He interjected. "I took the liberty of picking up a few things while you were sleeping."

He pointed to the bag sitting on the floor between them. 

"I got a few things for you. And please, you don't have to thank me. I wanted to. It's just basic stuff. A couple of pairs of pants and some shirts, and a fleece pullover and a pair of shoes. And there's a jacket in the closet for you." 

He nodded toward the suitcase at the foot of the bed.

"And something to put it all in. There receipt is in the bag in case anything doesn't fit. There's a gift card in the bag, too, so you can buy something else if you want." He reached into a pocket and pulled out an envelope. "And this." 

"Nails, you don't have to do all this." She resisted, finding herself overwhelmed by a number of emotions.

"Look." He said sternly. "I know I don't have to." 

He stood up and dropped the envelope on the bed next to her, then turned his back to her. When he spoke again his voice was trembling. 

"But I need to. Please just take it."

"It's too much. I can't accept all this." She replied, and felt tears welling in her eyes as well. 

He sat on the bed at her feet, his back still to her. He was there unmoving, as if in deep thought, and then he said quietly "I was drunk."

"What?" She asked, confused.

"I was drunk. When I emailed you. I didn't mean to, it just happened. I didn't want to interfere. I wasn't trying to bother you." 

After searching her memory frantically, it made sense to her. It happened years ago, how many she wasn't sure of. It had been well over a year since they had spoken or seen one another. One chilly October night she got an email from him. It contained what seemed to be a scrap of a love story about two star crossed lovers meeting in some distant place, and nothing else. She remembered that it pissed her off to no end. 

"But you don't drink." Was the only reply she could manage. 

"I don't." He answered. "I had some friends over. You know me. That rarely ever happens so it was kind of a big occasion. I cooked Italian and we had a few bottles of red wine. I had a glass of wine with my dinner…"

He still remembered her reply to his email, and it burned at him. "I have moved on. Do not contact me again." It secretly made him angry and hurt at the same time. 

"It's ok". She said, hoping he would stop, but he continued on.

"You can't have Italian without red wine. And you know how I am. One glass is enough to give me a buzz. It was expensive wine, too. Tuscan. After my company left I had another glass, and the next thing I knew I was finishing off the bottle. I don't know what got into me. I just felt like, like I needed it. I got to thinking about things, and I started missing you."

He wiped at his face and she knew he was crying.

"I didn't mean to force my way back into your life. I knew it made you angry." 

"Don't dwell on it." She said in an attempt to sound comforting. "That was a long time ago." 

He wouldn't say what he was thinking, but as he sat there crying he was reliving their last moments together and struggling to keep his emotions under control. The memories came to him in a flood. 

'Don't dwell on it? I caught you cheating on me fucking red-handed, and afterward you completely shut me off. You treated me like I never even existed. We were together for fucking years and then suddenly you were gone from my life, and I shouldn't dwell on it? Was it because you were ashamed? Was it because I caught you lying over and over again and like a damned fool I kept forgiving you? What was I supposed to do? Just let you go and not try to make things work? You started acting so different suddenly, and when I tried to talk to you, you wouldn't let me in or tell me what was wrong. You got mad at me when I read your emails, but what else was I supposed to do? You wouldn't tell me what was wrong. You were acting like a totally different person, and I thought something had happened to you. Do you know how painful it is to watch someone you love with all your heart act that way, not knowing what was wrong or what to do about it? I actually thought you had been raped or something just as bad. I tried to talk to you, but you insisted that nothing was wrong, even though I could see it in your eyes that something was killing you inside. After weeks of it I gave in and started checking behind you, and then the lies started showing up. I wanted you to be happy, more than I wanted to be happy for myself, and I told you that we should go our separate ways and end things as peaceably and painlessly as we could even though I knew it wouldn't be painless at all. But you said no. You told me you wanted to work things out and make things the way they used to be. I trusted you, and I fucking believed you. That's why I stayed, because you looked me in the eyes and you told me you loved me and you wanted us to be together and that we could work things out. And when you decided that you didn't want me or us any more, you didn't have the decency to just tell me it was over. You led me on, made me believe that we were still trying to make things between us better. And then I caught you sleeping around. And how did you think I knew? Those fucking worthless people you thought were your friends, they fucking told me, that's how I knew. While you were sleeping with him they were calling me. They were never your friends. You were nothing more than a TV talk show to them. I tried to break up with you but you wouldn't have it. I never even looked at another woman while I was with you, and you repaid me by sleeping around and it nearly killed me. It nearly fucking killed me… " 

He realized he had been sitting there for minutes, lost in his thoughts. He knew it would do no good to speak what he was thinking. They were both in enough pain already. 

"I tried not to." Was all he could think to say instead. He inhaled deeply, and then exhaled long and slow as he gathered his thoughts. His shoulders slumped, and he sighed aloud. "There's something you need to know about me, that in years together I never told you. I never told you because I thought you knew. I thought it was why you fell in love with me. I know I was wrong now, but I believed you understood it then."

"What is that?" She asked, terribly afraid of the way he sounded. She wasn't afraid for her, she was afraid for him. He sounded so resigned, so defeated. 

"There are some birds…" He started. "That go through life looking for another one like themselves, and when they find them, they imprint on them and then they pair up for life. While they're with their other half they fly higher and truer than they ever did before. And if they lose their other half they can't just fly away like they never existed. It takes a long time for them to recover and fly true again. I don't think they can ever fly quite as high again after that." 

"Nails, I don't understand." 

"You are what the world wants. You're young and pretty, even though you might forget it sometimes. I'm not. When people see you, they see something that they want and they want to be a part of it. I have never been that way. When I met you, you made me feel that way. I have to admit that I was always a little jealous of how privileged you were. Your family made sure you were well taken care of. There was always someone there for you, to support you and meet your every need. Nobody ever left me anything. There was no one there to make me feel important, no one left anything behind so I had an identity to hold onto or someone to look up to. I always felt like you were somehow better than me. Before I met you I went through life feeling broken and lost. And then I met you, and when you told me you loved me…, I was changed. I believed that if someone like you could love me that maybe I wasn't broken after all. I'm not a person who can just walk away from someone I care about. When I lost you it nearly killed me, because I believed you were the best part of me. When things ended for us, it wasn't so simple for me. I never stopped wanting you back. I can't just turn it off. It takes time."

He stood up suddenly. "Alot of time." He finished, turning to face her. He looked into her eyes, and the ache to touch her was strong again. Stronger than it had been since the first time he saw her so many years ago. "You have this room for a week, if you need it. There's enough money in that envelope to get back on your feet. Please take care of yourself." 




Saying Goodbye



With that he started for the door.

"You're leaving?" 

He opened the door and stood there, staring outside. 

"You never told me goodbye, so I knew you wanted me to go. I can never give you what you need to be happy, and I know you can still have a beautiful life. It just has to be without me."

He walked out and closed the door behind him. 

"I love you." He whispered to himself. 

And with that, he was gone. 

~The End~

I hope you never know how it feels



Saying Goodbye



In the farthest corner of a the parking lot, which was equally as conspicuous as it was unnoticeable to a casual passer-by, is where I sat in my car, waiting. It had been a few months and she, Cora, had moved on. To be honest i'm not sure what made me agree to meet her at this brewpub on this particular evening but here I sat. I purposely showed up early and knew by doing so I would subject myself to seemingly endless minute after seemingly endless minute. I chain smoked cigarettes with my driver's side window cracked a few inches. Inhaling deeply and casually blowing the smoke to my left. There were countless confusing and unanswerable questions about my intentions in accepting her invitation to meet this evening. I didn't particularly like her any longer. I suppose i'm just a nostalgic person chasing the past but all these second thoughts are getting to me. Maybe I'll drive off. Maybe I'll attend and purposefully be a dick to even up the imbalance of power between the two of us since she cheated on me. I'm not sure what the right thing to do is but I do know that the beautiful early june, sunny weather of this afternoon has made way to grey skies and light precipitation.

"Is that her car? Ugh, crap, it is." I thought to myself as she pulled in to the parking lot.

With all the torture of the past few minutes now being forced into one final, last chance decision I surprisingly didn't falter or hesitate. I drove from the far side of the parking lot over towards the entrance to the brewpub, put my car in park and opened the door. I dragged long, hard and deliberately on my cigarette as I exited my shitbox automobile and flicked the butt about 20 feet to my left towards a sewer drain. I exhaled and confidently walked over to her car.

She slowly pushed the door to her new car open and in that moment my bravado, my cocksure attitude, my artificially inflated chest, deflated. Those second thoughts were now bubbling back to the surface and churning into third and fourth thoughts with infinite branches spiking off in every which direction. It was like lightning in my brain and I wanted to puke or pass out. She gave a simple greeting which I didn't make note of and I mumbled something in return. We walked inside the brewpub.

I cannot remember much but I do know that we kept things pleasant. The possibility I left open for myself to be a dick and settle the score didn't seem much like the optimal plan any longer. We drank craft brew after craft brew, sampling the fruits of the local brewmaster's labor and things go in and out of clarity. I wasn't so much drunk or nervous but some concoction of the two. Suddenly, the friendly barkeep had to break the news to the two of us that this would be last call. He did offer to let us order another round and continue to sit as the staff cleaned up around us which we promptly took him up on. He brought over two more drinks and we placed our coasters on top and excused ourselves for cigarettes out back.

She had quit smoking. It seemed to me as if she had quit many things, myself included in that list, obviously. I couldn't for the life of me understand why but I guess I didn't mind. I was having a decent enough time tonight and the past has passed. I had told her that night that I forgave her. The truth is that I didn't but in the moment I felt like I did. Whether I did or didn't, didn't have any bearing in the real world anyway because she had moved on despite my blessing (or lack thereof) and I too had to move on. We lingered out back by the dumpster for a long while. I think neither of us had any idea how to end this evening because we weren't friends and the last few hours of chit-chat on the barstools wasn't real. The air hung thick in the way that only humid, sea air could in June on the east coast. She looked me in the eyes and then looked away. I looked left, dragged hard on my now smothering ember one last time and flicked it away. 

I began to turn my head back to the right and suggest that we go back inside and prolong this awkward goodbye with the last of our beer but I felt a pressure at my waist. Cora was fidgeting with my belt and I froze. I didn't know, or care what her intentions were at this point, I just didn't want to fuck this up. She slowly got past my belt, button and zipper then pulled my pants and boxer briefs down just below my ass. I was at full attention in seconds and the brain lightning I had been experiencing earlier returned. She made a few slow passes of my shaft with delicate motions. She spit on her palm and rubbed it flatly against the head of my dick in the same way one would roll dough into a ball on a counter top.

After a few seconds she pulled her hand away and my dick hung in the breeze for a second. Her evaporating spit made for a cool sensation right at my most sensitive spot. I nervously looked around and took in my surroundings. There was a dumpster to my right, gravel and mulch to my left, some poorly landscaped evergreen bushes and trees blocking all view from left to center and vast, empty parking spots beyond the dumpster. I reached into my hoodie pocket and grabbed my cigarettes. I lit one as her hands returned to stroking me. I didn't offer her a smoke. I didn't want to. It felt good not to be polite to her. Plus, from my angle, her mouth was busy enough. My chest was once again inflating and not just with breath or smoke. My bravado was returning. 

She played with my balls, rubbing them with both hands, squeezing them pulling them. I was enamored and engrossed with this string of moments. She may have been as well but that was of no importance to me at that point in time. She took my balls into her mouth and I could feel her tongue exploring the back side of my sack. No bit left unlicked. I imagine after a humid day like today the taste probably reminder her of a day at the beach. Salty. Sweaty. I laughed internally at the thought and blew my smoke down at her face intentionally out of disrespect. 

She released my balls, perhaps out of protest of the smoke, perhaps coincidentally, and that same cooling sensation of her spit evaporating now blanketed my balls and the feeling was wonderful. A bit of precum gathered at the tip of my dick and she licked up the underside of my cock to the tip and got herself another salty sensation, I'm sure. She spit all over my dick and her hand. She began slowly jerking me off with a tight grip and gradually increasing her suction as she worked her wet lips back and forth over my crown. It felt great and I leaned back on the stucko wall to really enjoy this moment. I looked up towards the sky and only saw clouds and the overhead lights of the parking lot. She took me deep into her throat. The slimy mucus making for great lube as she worked her hand over my shaft and used her other hand to play with my balls. I dragged my cigarette again. I closed my eyes as I began to feel the inevitable conclusion growing inside me, slowly.

Here is where normally, when we were together, I would reposition her for sex. I reached down the top of her low cut shirt and freed her tits instead, unsure of where I wanted this all to go. I kneaded her left tit with my left hand for a few seconds and tweaked her nipple aggressively. She reacted by letting a quick moan escape with her exasperated exhalation around my dick which was nearly choking her and it felt amazing. She was damn good at deep throating. That surely was one thing I definitely have been missing. I placed my hand on the back of her head and guided my dick slowly past her teeth, then her tongue, then I came to rest dick against tonsils. I gave a quick, deliberate thrust of my hips sending my dick down her gullet. 

While she was used to deep throating, this forceful, surprise intrusion caused her to gag and moan even more. The vibrations felt unbelievable throughout my entire lower half, all the way down my legs to my toes. I leaned back let her recuperate for a second. I thought about turning her around, ripping her jeans down to below her ass and fucking her wildly. I thought then about doing the same thing but going for her puckered asshole. I thought about both of those options and countless others as she replaced her hands on my dick and began to stroke. She looked up at me. Her expression was lustful and i'm sure she was wet as hell. I knew she wanted me to fuck her. The thought was tempting.

My cigarette had gone out in my hand so I flicked it off to my left as my right hand dug deep into my pocket to retrieve another. I lit it, took a deep drag and looked off towards the sky. When I let it out of my lungs I looked down at her and I knew right then and there that no sex, no anal, nothing pleasurable for her would come to fruition. While stroking and looking up at me my right hand grazed past her left ear and cupped the back of her head guiding my dick back into her mouth. The thought of being so dismissive of her wants or desires really turned me on and I could feel that the thoughts of sex, fucking her in the ass and being a selfish prick were causing my body to inch closer and closer to orgasm. 

I looked her in the eyes and have no idea what the expression on my face must have been but she looked right back at me. I left my cigarette to dangle from my lips as I had one hand guiding her head to and fro as the other grabbed at her tits which had been flopped out of her shirt as if St. Pauli girl undid the tie at the top of her traditional beer wench outfit and folded it down. Two beautiful tits just dangling in the summer breeze. I dragged on my cigarette and she moaned, deep throated and played with my balls as long as I dragged. I dragged it again. She reciprocally moaned. This was a game so I played. I was now completely in charge of this situation. In charge of her moans which were in turn, my pleasure.

I played with her. Alternating my timing and her matching with moans. I started to get incredibly light headed but the nicotine was coursing through me and I felt amazing. My toes danced in my sneakers, my legs straightened out I gasped and held my breath. I pulled back from her mouth and leaned back with a clearly audible thud of my dead weight onto the stucko wall. She gasped for air, looked me in the eyes and stroked me, rubbing her thumb under the tip of my dick, still slick with her saliva and mucus. My cum flew from my dick onto her face. Her saliva, mucus and some of my cum sloppily sputtered through the air as her stroking never faltered, landing all over her tits. I finally exhaled, feeling dizzy and relieved. 

She wiped the cum from her face with her bare palm and fingers. She licked it clean, like a whore, which no longer really turned me on as much as the action would have about thirty seconds prior. She wiped the spit, saliva, cum mixture from her chest onto and around each one of her tits and my deflating dick twitched, grasping for another go at it but sadly, I was spent. I pulled myself together, as did she. I pivoted to my right and walked out to my car. I figured talking or anything else would've been too much of a blunder. It was a perfect goodbye. I guess I did even the score after all.

Cora

As I was turning into the parking lot of the brewpub I saw Jack's car at the far end of the parking lot. Having spent years alongside him, I figured this was probably born out of some sort of necessity to mentally keep his options open as far as actually meeting with me. To be perfectly blunt, I hadn't assumed that he would actually meet me here tonight but he did agree and I do wish that he would at least stay and have a drink. There is so much that I intend to tell him about why I did what I did and i'm really excited that I've gained the opportunity to do so. I could see out of my rearview mirror that he was indeed driving over towards me. Thankfully.

I opened my door as nonchalantly as I could and step out into the warm evening air. I pivoted awkwardly to my left to avoid hitting the car in the spot next to me and I saw that he had already come to greet me. We exchanged pleasantries and I feel so much comfort in his company that I grew to be instantly calm. 

We grabbed two seats at the bar as a table would probably be too formal, forcing us into a lot of face to face interaction. I was more than ok to sit and chat with him for awhile even if we both went minutes without actually making eye contact, talking into our beers. I imagine that the scene from the bartender's perspective of the two of us would strike him as either a first date or exactly what it was, a post breakup meeting. I didn't think much more about the bartender's perspective as Jack and I spoke about life, love and future endeavors that either of us intended to partake in, respectively. I really was surprised at how well we were able to speak and how much it meant to me despite the fact that we both weaved deftly around the uncomfortable topics of hashing out the details of what had happened between us. I also failed to make mention of the new love in my life but it didn't much matter, it seemed. Then it happened. He told me he forgave me. I was flushed with happiness. It meant so much to me that he could be so mature.

I could have stayed perched on those barstools all night. The bartender, of course, had to come and ruin the moment for me. The bar would be closing but we could have another and close our tabs. They would leave us be until they were done cleaning everything else. Jack offered me a cigarette and I informed him that I had quit not long after our union came to an end. I did, however, accept one thinking that it couldn't hurt to put on those old pair of shoes and walk around a bit. After all, what's one cigarette anyway?

I wasn't enjoying my cigarette very much and as Jack finished his I could feel how awkward it was going to get as the night was drawing to a close. The inevitable last drink would be so agonizing to sit through and maybe it was the tipsiness and maybe it was the fact that I had already mentally started wandering around in these old pair of shoes but I went for his belt. 

I started being a little tease, just rubbing the head of his dick in my palm as I knew he used to like. I took his balls into my mouth and tongued them the best that I could manage. The taste was bittersweet. Don't get me wrong, it was salty and sweaty but it was musty and steeped in nostalgia. I took him into my mouth and remembered each curve of the head. I started going at him with genuine hunger for his bits and pieces. After all that I had done I thought I would do something just for him, especially since he was mature enough to forgive me for it all. 

He reached down the front of my shirt, which was as far as I was going to let this go. A little blowjob and titty play I could get away with mentally as "not cheating" but anything beyond that and I would have to tell my new boyfriend. As long as I derived no pleasure myself, it was all innocent fun. This logic is what had gotten me into trouble in the first place when I had cheated on Jack, which started this whole mess. Jack must have been loving this because he accidentally exhaled his cigarette smoke in my face. Normally I would be pissed off but accidents to happen, and why ruin the moment?

Jack smoked too much, I thought to myself as I deep throated him as far as I could. Jack really did have a big dick. It had no bend in it or any obviously pulsating, thick, blue veins. It was a pleasure to service this particular tool. I could feel his hands playing with my nipple and my tit. I loved that we were pretty well hidden behind the building but anyone could walk or drive by at the right angle and see me sucking off Jack with my tits bouncing about. I was really hoping that nobody was watching me on my knees, or ogling my tits. I really wondered why I had done all that I had done in the first place, even though I knew I was better off now.

He grabbed my head and slowly put his dick into my mouth. He stopped where my tongue ended. Before I knew it he thrust deep into me as if he were trying to fuck my stomach and I gagged. I nearly vomited and I let out a deep moan as he withdrew from my throat. I could tell he loved it. Through teary eyes I looked up at him and made eye contact. As he drew from his smoke I moaned as long as he inhaled. This was a bit similar to a game I had learned from my new boyfriend but Jack didn't have to know that. I would take my new boyfriend's cock into my mouth and start blowing him. I would then put my finger in his mouth and anything he would do to my finger I would mimic in my mouth onto his dick. In this case I just used the cigarette in place of my finger and inferred what I could. 

I locked eyes with Jack a few times in the next moments which I cannot place an estimated amount of time on. He looked right back at me. Through our eye contact, which had been relatively lack luster in total minutes this evening, I said goodbye to Jack. I had been with Jack a long time and blew him on countless occasions. I could tell he was close. He backed out of my mouth and like any good girl I kept up the pace, tugging at his dick. I rubbed my thumb purposefully underneath the head of his dick smearing around my saliva in little circles and then he came. Spurt after spurt hit my face and from my tits up I was covered in slime from any number of bodily orifices. He exhaled. I cleaned off my face with my fingers and just like I used to, tasted his salty cum. I rubbed my chest and massaged the wetness into my breasts and around my nipples then pulled my shirt and bra back over the girls. 

Jack didn't motion to go back inside or even look me in the eyes. He just walked off, which was perfect for me. I'm glad I could give him something as a parting gift. He did forgive me and he didn't make it awkward by trying to fuck me. I walked back inside to use the bathroom and found that the beers had been cleared from where we had been sitting. There would be no more between us from here on out. I'm just glad we could come to a place of peace. 



Saying Goodbye



I did some dating in high school but never dated any girl very long. I don't know if it was me or them, but for whatever reason, the relationships just never went beyond casual dating.

I had plenty of friends who were going steady, hooked-up tight, and just about all of them were having lots of sex but me, well, again casual dating did provide a few hand jobs now and then along with some nice boob action from several girls, even some memorable blow jobs.

But, well, I wasn't a virgin when I went off to college, I'd gotten rid of my cherry when I was eighteen and a senior in high school to a girl, Melissa Robinson, who was easy to get into bed. Our relationship wasn't serious in the least, I wanted to have sex for the first time and Melissa loved sex. Pretty much all you had to do was ask.

Well, it was pretty good, she had a pretty nice body and all and she really knew how to use it. So, I did go off to college with some experience at least.

As many have found out as well, college life and college girls can be much more open and free than what we all had in high school. I really think a lot of the change that takes place is due to the girls. Once they leave high school and go away to college, they, many of them, let go and begin to have a good time. A really good time.

That was certainly what I saw and I took advantage of it just like most of my buddies.

There was one girl, however, that I met when I was in my junior year, she was a sophomore, and we really seemed to hit it off really well. Diana Dolan, like me, was also an English major with an Education minor, we both planned to teach after graduation.

Diana was really pretty and I soon found out that she had a lovely body that she enjoyed using well and often. I teased her about being "DD with the B's and C's" as a take on her name's initials, her general grades, followed by her bra size.

It was after a few months of dating that we began discussing more permanent plans and soon after that we became engaged. My parents thought the world of her and when I met her mom, we really connected so it was looking like it would be a marriage made in heaven, as they say.

Everything was wonderful all the way through my graduation and into my getting a teaching job nearby as Diana began her final year. Then, we both began to see that we really weren't meant to be together and decided to end our engagement and go our separate ways.

It had been about a month after we'd made our decision, on a Sunday morning as I was sitting at my kitchen table reviewing lesson plans for the weeks to come, when my doorbell rang.

I hopped up and looked through the little security peephole and there was Diana's mother, Judy, standing in the hallway outside my door.

Now, I had always gotten along with Diana's mom really well, she was nice and fun and we always seemed to hit it off.

I knew her mom had been disappointed when we called off our engagement because I overheard her on the phone with her mom telling her after we had come to the decision. Her mom was more upset than we were, it had seemed.

So, I swung the door open and welcomed her in.

"Oh, Kenny, I hope I'm not bothering you this morning but I was in town and had some of your things that were still at my house," she said, handing me a grocery bag full of clothes.

"Oh, sure, gee, thanks, come in, I've got coffee," I said and she stepped inside and we went to my kitchen where I got a mug down. As I turned back to her, she was standing there crying, "Oh, Kenny, I'm so sorry you two have parted ways, I'd so wanted you for my son."

I stepped over to her and hugged her to me as I felt her trembling as she sobbed a bit. I held her for a minute or two until she'd calmed down when she said, "Oh, I really should be going, Kenny, I've disrupted your morning enough, I'm afraid. I really just wanted to say goodbye."

I'm not sure exactly why but I pulled her back to me and kissed her, perhaps a little harder than I'd meant, though maybe not. It was then that I felt her tongue slip between my lips.

I might have been a little surprised but I was also rather pleased and opened my lips so we could tongue-kiss which it seemed we were both enjoying as we held each other that Sunday morning.

Without thinking much about it, my hands had roamed downward and were on her butt squeezing and pulling her middle into my middle which, in the long, male tradition, was expanding outward.

She felt soft and warm and nice, Diana's mother was a pretty woman, trim and shapely, I think Diana had told me her mom had turned forty only a couple of years ago, so she was certainly not old by any means. She felt quite nice in my arms, I can tell you that.

As we kissed, there was no way she could not have been quite aware of my erection making itself known and when we separated, we just kind of stood there and looked at each other.

Then, quietly, she asked, smiling up at me, "Kenny, would you take me to your bedroom?"

The words went directly to my cock. I've told you my exe's mother is a pretty woman and kissing her filled me with sexual excitement like I hadn't felt in quite some time. She was a small woman and nicely curvy and I took her again and kissed her in a very non-almost mother fashion now with my hands down easing her skirt up to feel her ass in her panties.

We kissed another minute, then I said, "I'd be very happy and very proud to take you back to my room," and took her hand and led her down the hall to my bedroom, where, thankfully, I had straightened the covers earlier.

As we went in, she took me again and we kissed as our hands moved on each other working to get one another's clothes undone.

I had her blouse open and had reached around to unclasp her bra as she got my pants loose and pulled down to my knees. She stepped back and was quickly out of everything but her panties and I stood there in just my boxers as we hugged again and kissed some more, this time with her hand down under my waistband feeling my hardness as my hands fondled her nice warm breasts.

"I'm not as young as Diana but I hope you'll be happy with me," she whispered as I looked at her lovely body. She was older, yes, but she still had an attractive figure with nice breasts, full with just a bit of under curve. Her nipples were very hard and erect with large pink nipples that I was enjoying rubbing.

"I've got to say that I'm just really excited to have you here like this. You're really a very pretty woman and I find you very desirable. Very hot," as I kissed her once again.

I took her hand and led her to the bed and swept the covers back. She got on and pulled off her panties while I dropped my boxers to the floor.

"Mmm, Diana, of course, had told me how wonderful you were in most things, Kenny, but she kept your lovely manhood to herself. Can't say I blame her," she said as I crawled up next to her and we again slid into each other's arms.

"I know I'm taking you from your work, but I really just don't care," she said as she moved over me kissing me while her hand moved up and down on my cock.

My heart was pounding and there was a throbbing in my cock, something that never happened when I was having sex with her daughter. I was so aroused by this forty-something woman, probably much of it in my mind, the taboo nature of what we were doing but, well, it was so hot and sexy to have this naked woman in my bed I could hardly contain myself.

I'd never been with anyone much older than I was, this was a first for me, especially a woman not far from twice my age.

"Well, I really was just polishing up my lesson plans and the truth is, I've got just as much time as you have, I really love having you here with me like this."

She rubbed her body on mine, telling me, "Well, if we have the time, Kenny, I'd make you a very happy man."

"Oh, for that, I surely have the time," I told her as her tongue went back in my mouth.

Then she pulled back from my face to say, "For me to make this the best for you, you have to do something for me, you have to tell me whenever you get close to cumming. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, I guess so, nobody's ever asked me to do that before. This is some kind of thing you like to do?" I asked her.

"Oh, yes but you'll be the one that really loves it," and she got off me to kneel beside me, taking my cock in her hand and licking around the head as she smiled up at me. Then she tilted her head to lick up and down my shaft as her fist twisted around the head.

Chapter 2

Next, she stood up over me, straddling me as I watched her lower herself down, reaching to hold me steady to put the first inch or two up inside her. But that was all. Then she began moving around in a circle while also going up and down on me but just with the top third or so of my cock.

"Mmm, oh, that's good, really good," I moaned.

"Tell me if you're close, okay?"

"Mmm, it's good but no, not yet."

My hands were on her breasts as she fucked the end of my cock while squatting over me, then she pulled up a little, reached down and swiped the head back and forth in her pussy's wet slit, then around and around in just the very front part.

Then she got down and sat cross-legged next to me leaning over to suck the tip again, then, leaving it wet with saliva, she held it with one hand and rubbed her palm around and around just sending my heart rate skyward.

"Mmm, that's getting me close. You wanted to know," I gasped as she lifted her palm and just barely touched the tip with her index finger, just a little.

"What is it you're doing to me?"

"I'm just making it last as long as we can, it really gives me the best orgasms that way and I think you'll like it, too. Every guy I've done this with has wanted more."

"Mmm, I'm sure willing to try it, it's great so far."

"Some men don't have the patience but I think you'll see at the end that it was worth it."

"Yeah, let's go for it. I'm so glad you came by and so glad you didn't have to rush off," I laughed and so did she as she slid her lips over the head of my dick and left it wet. Then she circled it with her five fingertips and began twisting her hand back and forth as she moved so her nipple was near my mouth.

I had reached my hand down between her opened legs to begin rubbing the wetness up and down. She, like her daughter, was completely shaved. I pushed a finger inside, something I'd found out early on that her daughter liked so much and it seemed from the soft moans it produced, that she liked my fingering as well.

I knew that what she was doing to me was wonderful. I had learned the valuable lesson that sex, like so many things, is often best taken slowly but this was really erotic. I had never been so highly aroused in my life. She was just keeping me right on the edge of cumming and I had no idea how long she would continue like this.

"Mmm, I'm getting close again," I told her as she stopped twisting her fingertips around the crown of my dick to begin just slowly, very slowly circling the head with the gentlest touch of her fingertip. That was almost more maddening as I told her again that I was near cumming.

She simply let go of me and leaned close to blow little breaths of warm air over my cock causing it to jump and twitch. It was kind of funny to watch in a way but it did feel nice. I now began working a second finger up in her as she shifted slightly giving me better access.

Then she started back slowly licking around my cock's head, just slow and really wet, just lapping at it. Oh, that felt so good. Next, her fingers slid down over my cock, holding it lengthwise and sliding her fingers up and down, all the time carefully watching my face.

"You look happy, Kenny, I thought you'd like this."

She was keeping my heart rate way up with what she was doing to me, it was just the best sexual feelings I'd ever had and we weren't even fucking. It was incredible and I told her.

"Oh, I'm not finished yet, just enjoy."

"Mmm, I am," I groaned deeply as my head fell back and eyes closed as the erotic feelings washed back and forth across me as her hands and mouth slowly advanced me to what had to be a spectacular cum.

I was panting as she would slow down, let me cool off a bit then work me back up, just keeping me on the verge of cumming.

"How long have we been doing this?" I asked, almost delirious with pleasure.

"Oh, an hour, no, almost an hour and a half. Your balls ache yet?"

"Yeah, not bad but, yeah. Is that part of it?"

"Wait 'til you see all the cum you shoot, Kenny. I think you're going to remember this. I sure hope so," she said as she bent to suck me a little more after letting me relax a bit.

When we were past an hour and a half, she asked me if I thought I wanted to cum.

"Oh, yeah, I just don't know how much longer I can go."

"Okay," she said as she swung her leg over me, reached under and pushed her pussy down over me, jamming me fully up inside her where she began scissoring up and down as fast as she could.

It's hard to explain what happened. It was like my whole body exploded, like it totally emptied out through the end of my dick, spurting everything inside me up into my former fiancee's mom.

What she had done to me was like turn me totally inside out, I have never felt so drained in all my life, it was like I almost passed out. But don't let that suggest that it was unpleasant in the least. Oh, no, it was the most spectacular orgasm I'd ever had, totally overwhelming and she just kept moving up and down on me until she had her own orgasm and it was the most powerful I'd ever seen, simply explosive.

She collapsed over me, keeping my cock deep inside, slowly moving so we both kept feeling the sex we were having, oh, I hugged her tight as we kissed and kissed.

"That was phenomenal, Judy, just the best sex I've ever had. Maybe I should have been engaged to you?"

"Oh, don't say that. Anyway, I'm way too old for you."

"You're kidding. You've just given me the best sex of my life and you say that?"

"Well, there are lots of younger women, even it it's not Diana, that you should hook-up with."

We lay there, connected together by my penis up inside her which I could feel softening as we held each other and talked after such a wonderful lovemaking.

"Do you have to go, can you stay?" I asked her.

"I suppose I could. What would you like to do if I did?"

I laughed and said, "Well, sex, I guess."

"No, I mean, what exactly do you want to do, tell me."

"You mean, specifically, like what different things I want to do?"

"Yes."

"Um, gee, I don't think I've ever been asked what all I wanted to do with a woman."

"Now you have, so?"

"Well, um, I'd like to give you oral sex. Is that something you like?"

"No, not really," she said as my heart sank; it was something I really liked doing. "No, I really don't like it, I adore it, Kenny," she said, grinning.

She moved her hips up letting my wet cock flop back onto my abdomen as she rolled over next to me, spreading open for me.

As I was getting down between her legs, she said, "Be thinking of what else you want to do, I have all day if you do," and I began licking up and down the gap between her soft, smooth lips.

"Mmm, oh, Diana was a lucky girl to have you, Kenny. Well, so will the next girl, I suppose. Mmm, you are so good between a woman's legs."

Words like that are always nice to hear and I was greatly enjoying giving oral to Judy, her labia were nice and plump and smooth, she was really an attractive and sexy woman, far more sexual than I'd imagined.

She lifted her legs up over my shoulders as I licked and sucked and tongued her opening with delight. She was loving it from the movements she was making, squirming, wriggling, twisting as I ran my tongue around while my fingers held her open.

"Mmm, oh, right in there, oh, yes, mmm, perfect, mmm, more, OH, OH, UUH, UUH, mmm, mmm, oh, Kenny, oh, you are so good," she cried as she pulled me up to kiss me over and over.

"Mmm, and if I stay longer, what else would you like to do?"

"I'd like to make love to you," I told her.

"And how would you like to make love to me, Kenny?"

"The way you'd like me to."

"Oh, you are a lovely man. I just don't know why my daughter didn't do just anything to keep you. Well, I'll tell you that my favorite position is doggie-style and I love it slow, I mean really slow. You can see that I like everything really slow, huh?" she said as she got up on her hands and knees to welcome me inside her.

I got up between her legs and pushed right up inside her all the way. She was really juicy, I just slid right into her as she began moving her hips around while I fucked her really slow.

"Mmm, slower, Kenny, I mean real slow," she moaned as I slowed down even more. It was taking five or six seconds to push all the way in or pull back out and I was bringing my cock all the way out and reinserting it each time, touching the tip to her pussy lips, then slowly parting them as I arched my hips forward.

"Mmm, that's it, oh, so good. Is it good to you, Kenny?"

It was fabulous, nothing like I'd ever felt before and I told her so.

"Just make it last. Just like before, our orgasms will be so much better the longer we go," she said back to me as she kept moving her hips around so erotically.

"Keep doing that and I won't last long at all," I moaned and she added, "Just let me know when you're close," and I did began stopping at times when I felt really close, I just held my cock inside her and she stopped moving as well, just letting me cool down so we could keep going.

We kept fucking that way, just starting, then slowing, even stopping if needed. I'd had sex before that took more time than other times but this was deliberate, planned, it was meant to last a long time and produce volcanic orgasms as a result. This, I'd never done before and Judy was the one who introduced the technique to me that wonderful Sunday morning.

She ended up spending the entire day with me in my bed and didn't leave until after eight that night. I simply had never had sex like that before. She was a sexual marathoner and taught me that day to be one, too.

I'm overjoyed to be able to say that this wonderful woman has remained a big part of my life. We spend every weekend together and, I must say, by Sunday night, when she leaves for home, I'm truly spent. She has a capacity for sex far greater than any other girl or woman I've ever known. That includes her daughter.

Our comfort with each other, after almost a year and a half now, is complete. There is no barrier to what we enjoy with each other, we both know that if we want something, all we have to do is begin.

We still enjoy long, extended sex and our orgasms are phenomenal. She's also helped me be able to prolong ejaculating until my cum simply explodes out my cock, engulfing my whole being with intense wave after wave of the purest ecstasy.

We both know that what we have together isn't love but that doesn't bother either of us in the least. Our sex is just fine enough, thank you.



Saying Goodbye



"Well, I'm glad we got that settled." 

It was a conversation that I knew was coming. Had been for weeks. A conversation I had braced myself for and even still, it knocked the wind out of me. 

It all started about a month ago. Up until then, we had been the best of friends. Well, hell, let's be honest. We were more than friends. It started as two lonely co-workers sharing a bottle of vodka. It ended as three times a week, sometimes during lunch hour, and always ending in multiple orgasms. That's the way it had gone for the better part of the past year. After work, before work. Sometimes all day Saturday. But somehow, we were never able to take it to the next level. It wasn't something I had ever talked to Charlotte about. It just never came up. We were friends that had a lot of sex. And that was enough. 

Except, I guess, it wasn't enough for Charlotte. Like I said, it all started a month ago. That was when Brad had started to show up. Just background noise at first, but then, one morning, Charlotte's phone went unanswered. She was always horniest in the morning and an unanswered call meant...well, I don't know what it meant. It's never gone unanswered before.

Then a week later, our lunch date gets canceled. Three times a week suddenly dries up to a series of "I can'ts", "I'm busys," and "it's that time of the month." It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.

Before I tell you what happens next, I have to say, Charlotte was the best sex a guy could have. I'd like to say it was more than just the sex, and there was more, but the sex was indescribable. Charlotte was the kind of girl that would just about do anything. 

I say just about only because I haven't had a chance to learn every depraved sex act known to man quite yet. As it stands, I'm only about halfway through the Internet. But all joking aside, this is something you have to understand before I can tell you the next part of my story. Don't just read it and nod. Think about it. Here's a girl that was a sweetheart by day, and the nastiest porn queen by night. Okay, she didn't always wait for nightfall, but you get my point. 

"Hey Charlotte, let's 69." 

"Who get's to be on top?"

"Hey Charlotte, I want to cum on your face."

"Okay, but make sure I get some in my mouth too."

"Hey Charlotte, have you ever thought about anal?"

"With your cock or my dildo?"

Am I exaggerating? Not even close. Charlotte knew more things to do with a cock than a chicken farmer. For almost a year, she had been milking the cum out of me with her hands, mouth, pussy, and ass three times a week. 

You might understand why I'm a bit distraught. So you've probably guessed by now that we just had the, "we can only be friends" conversation. And you can probably guess my reaction, which was a mixture of sadness, panic, and somehow, from the bottom of my heart, happiness for her. I put on the brave smile and say, 

"Of course we'll always be friends. We don't need sex for that."

She smiles. She knows that was going to be my reaction just as I know what she's going to say next.

"Of course not. We'll always be there for each other."

"Do you have any regrets?" 

This part takes me by surprise and I tell her of course not. I wouldn't trade the past year for the world. But before I get the words out, she's already shaking her head. 

"I don't mean that. Of course we don't regret the most unbelievable sex ever. I meant, is there anything we didn't do?" My mind spins, reeling out possibilities that are as far-flung as my thoughts; but I don't respond. It would be just too heartbreaking to think about. Instead, I say, "I love you Charlotte. Always will." 

She smiles and we kiss, lasting far too long to be brotherly, but far too chaste to be anything else. I walk her back to her apartment, and all things considered, it was a pleasant evening. We had a great time, drinking far more wine than we should have; but the night was cool and the air was crisp. It was a good night to linger. 

We do eventually get to her door and we kiss again. This time, far more passionately. I taste the alcohol in her breath and the sweetness of her saliva. It makes me think of the time that....

"I held you down and spit in your mouth. Do you remember?"

I don't respond. I just kiss her even more deeply, savoring the taste of her mouth. I reach around and put my hands on her ass, and....

"Remember the first time you put it in my ass?"

More kissing. More groping. And suddenly, I have to break it off. I pull back. It's too much. Too many memories. Too many times in too many different ways.

"I need to go." Charlotte says immediately, and I understand how she feels. This has to stop before it gets out of hand. I say,

"I need to go too."

"No, you don't understand. I really need to go. I have to pee." Now I realize she is crossing her legs and shifting her weight from one side of her body to the other. The image makes me laugh.

"Don't leave like this. Come in for a second and let me say goodbye to you properly." She opens the door and starts off for the bathroom. I close the door behind me and stand in her apartment uncomfortably. It seems so strange to me. Foreign somehow. I made love to Charlotte in almost every square inch of this apartment and yet, standing here, I felt like a total stranger. Why should I feel this way? 

I began to get angry and then I realize I'm being silly. It was completely silly. I would see her tomorrow at work. We would go for coffee and talk about office politics and what was on TV and everything else we had talked about today at work. 

It was the wine talking of course, and suddenly, I feel very foolish. Instinctively, I cross the room to tell Charlotte this. It's a bad habit I've developed since meeting her. I always tell her every little thing since we've become friends. I did it before we started having sex and I'll do it long after; so there.

Before I realize what I am doing, my hand seizes around the knob of the bathroom door and I push it open. 

We stare at each other, shocked. Of all the times I've seen Charlotte naked, I've never seen her like this. Sitting on the toilet, her jeans and panties are pooled around her ankles; legs partly spread as a trickling sound starts below her. She doesn't move. I don't move. We stay like that, listening to the trickling slow to a small drip. I am vaguely aware that my cock is at full attention, awkwardly jutting from the linen pants I now regret wearing. 

Finally she says, "Are you sure you don't have any regrets?"

Without hesitation, I stride towards her unbuckling my belt and kicking off my pants in the four steps it takes to stand in front of her; my enraged cock dangerously close to her moistened lips. Before she can move, I reach behind her and grab the roots of her hair in one fist, pulling her head back firmly. She sits back on the seat and I can see a tiny hint of fuzz just above the mound of her pussy. 

For a brief second, my mind protests what the other half of my body is about to do. I try to reason with it but before I can, it pushes me away. I let go of these thoughts. Any thoughts. For me, Charlotte has been and forever will be the part of me that doesn't need reason. Doesn't need thought. Just sweet, perfect, and total release. 

I point my cock down and as with the rest of my consciousness, my bladder let's go. I spray a stream of hot piss on her stomach before I can aim it down towards my target. 

I had no idea how she would react but I'm amazed when she pushes her hips up at me, arching her back to let her pussy catch the hot stream that jettisons from my body. She moans, her lips part and her mouth opens. I pull her hair harder and kiss her parted lips. Long and hard. 

When I finally look down, I see her hand furiously pumping between her legs, not noticing or caring that I am soaking everything. As my trickle slows down, Charlotte seems to be just starting up. She comes close to climax, and I help her along by reaching both hands down and propping her ass up. I slide my cock inside of her. A wave of fury pulses through her as she screams "I love it," over and over and over. 

I back away. Not knowing what to do or what to say. I cannot believe what I have just done. If I was scared that I was losing Charlotte before, I'm downright panicked at this point. Her eyes recover from their post-coital glaze and she looks up at me, not saying a word. Unbelievably, she reaches down and pulls up her panties; soaked and still dripping from my mess. The wet lace clings to her pussy and as she gets up, she kicks off the equally soaked jeans that look as if they just came out of the washer. She fixes my gaze and begins walking towards me; even as I take several paces backwards. 

Before I know it, she is pushing me onto the bed and climbing over me. Her hot lips touch my ear and I feel their caress before I hear the words, "You didn't let me finish in there." I feel the damp lace pressing against my still-hard cock as she climbs on top of me. She reaches down and pulls off her panties and I seriously begin to worry about what she has in mind. Before I can process the thought I hear, 

"Can I finish now?"

I think she means to get another orgasm but before I can read a second meaning into her words she gets up on her knees and lifts her pussy just above me. Before I am able to respond, a rush of hot liquid covers my cock. Hotter than anything I have ever felt. It is as if I'm already inside of her. She reaches down and takes me into her hand, slapping my cock violently against her gushing pussy. Her strokes are so hard that I see liquid fly in every direction. Without knowing how to react, I instinctively open my mouth to groan. As I do so, Charlotte reaches down for her panties and inserts them into my mouth. 

I don't taste it so much as I feel it. Warm, wet lace against my lips and face. I am vaguely aware that they are soaking in Charlotte's juices and despite what common sense tells me, I greedily suck at them; tearing them away from her. I know that this is completely wrong but as with everything Charlotte, it feels so right. And it leaves me wanting. 

I thrust my hips upward, sinking my cock in her still-dripping pussy. The sensation drives us insane. A loud "Oh" from Charlotte is all I need to begin pumping my cock up and down inside of her as hard and as fast as my hips will allow. It sinks all the way to the hilt each time before our bodies rhythmically separate in anticipation of the next thrust. I don't know if it's her juices or my pre-cum but our bodies have become dangerously slick; slipping and sliding with a frenzy that in all the years of our lovemaking, have never been this intense. 

I close my eyes and listen to every slap become wetter, sloppier, nastier. The rhythm accelerates and just when I think we are reaching our limits, I feel wetness slick down my face. 

I open my eyes to see a stream of spittle fly at me as Charlotte tries to get the last bit of spit out of her mouth....and onto my face. 

I feel the stream course its way down my cheek and Charlotte helpfully shovels it into my now-open mouth. She tries again and all she can manage is a stringy line that extends from her lips to mine. I reach up, pull her head to mine and we kiss like our lives depend on it. I feel the sensation of her pushing more spit into my mouth. Our shared taste being passed back and forth until her mouth begins to fill up again. 

Charlotte sits up, sinking my cock all the way into her wetness. As she does so, she gives me a look that tells me that I should open my mouth. That I must open my mouth. And as I do, her pussy clamps tight around my cock.

A lump of spit hits the back of my throat just as the tightness in my balls relax, giving way to a flood of cum that gushes through my body and out of my cock. 

Realizing she has set me off, Charlotte tries to lift up; only to encounter unrelenting hands pulling her ass downwards. The result is my cock pushed against the back of her pussy while wave after delicious wave of cum streams into her body. It sets off an orgasm so fierce that I can barely make out the words of her screams. 

"Inside....Oh God, you're ....cumming....inside."

It's as if a floodgate has opened. Stream after stream. I feel as if I am pumping my very soul into her. The powerful orgasm that grips her body finally winds down and she collapses on top of me. My cock continues to jump as little waves force out the remaining cum from my cock. Of the hundreds of times Charlotte has made me cum, we've never allowed my orgasm to finish inside of her. Not that we've ever pissed all over each other either, but I guess our last night would be a night of firsts. 

I hear her whisper, "I wanted you inside of me so badly. Not just your cock, but all of it. I needed it. It felt so good to have your cum inside of me." I kiss her. Slowly. 

Passionately. 

Finally, Charlotte swings her legs off of me and I feel the drip of my own cum splashing on my stomach. I look down to see a half- flaccid cock covered in glaze; the bed sheet around us completely soaked. Charlotte kisses me one more time and whispers in my ear, "I get to shower first."

I reach over for my cigarettes and realize that they're across the room. I want to smoke, but I don't want to get up either. Between dinner and what just happened, I am exhausted. But not just exhausted, completely slaked. 

My eyes get heavy and as I start to nod off, I am vaguely aware that I am laying in a bed soaked with Charlotte. Somehow, I don't mind. Because it was Charlotte's, its somehow okay. Instead of rolling over, I snuggle myself deeper into the wet bed and soaking sheets.



Saying Goodbye



Look at her. She is amazing. I could not believe she was now married. Mary my best friend in the world. I sat in my seat looking up at the bride and groom at their wedding reception. All I could think of was all the times, we had said to each other, that neither of us would get married. A smile crossed my face as we caught each others gaze. She waved and smiled. I waved back. We had been friends for our whole lives. When I was four my parents got divorced, my sister had gone with my mother and I had moved with my father. Still don't know how that was arranged but I have no regrets. We moved next door to Mary's family and had been friends ever since. We shared so many memories. 

"Hey." a voice said bringing me back to reality. 

"Hey Mrs Snow." I said standing up. Mary's mother smiled at me. 

"Thank you for coming." she said as she took my hand and shook it. 

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." I said looking back at Mary. "She would do the same for me." I said. 

"Absolutely." she said admiring her daughter. "For a long time, I thought it would be you two up there." she said looking back at me. 

"Nah, we are like brother and sister." I said shaking my head. Which was partly true. 

"No." she shook her head. "I think you two are way past that." she looked up at her daughter again. "Well I know she, did not think that way." she said. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"Nothing." she said shaking her head. "Just an old lady reminiscing. Enjoy the rest of the reception." she said before walking off towards her husband. I looked back at Mary who was looking at her friend Sally. The lady I had given my seat up for. Sally was pregnant yet again. And did not want everyone looking at her baby bump. So I had gladly given it to her. 

"Hey bro." a deep voice said to me from behind. 

"Jack!" I said turning around. 

"Thanks for coming." he said. The groom looked good all dressed up. He had brown mouse hair, that was jelled down. I remembered the first time I saw him. He looked like a wild man that had come down from the mountains. Hair all out of sorts, long beard, and very unkempt. But now he looked almost human. 

"Not a problem. Just take care of my sis." I said more as a warning than anything else. 

"Will do." he said smiling and nodding his head, while he took a swig of his beer. "So when do you leave for ... China was it?" he asked. 

"Thailand." I corrected him. I knew this was coming. He wanted me out of the picture. Most men did when they realized how close, Mary and I were. "In the morning. But she has my number and my new address. So she can reach me." I said. Looking back at her. "With my flying discounts, I can be back in here in a day or less." I said reassuring him, that there was no distance to far. 

"Great. That's good. She does like being able to contact you." he said shaking his head. That was a typical response. Mary was one of the social media addicts. She had all of them. And never was too far from some sort of device that would let her online at a moments notice. "Well anyway. Thanks for coming." he said shaking my hand. I nodded, then went to the bar. 

"Prick!" a voice said behind me as I ordered a beer. I smiled as I recognized the voice. I ordered a harder drink for my father. I turned around and handed it to him. 

"So tell me how you really feel. Dad." I said. He was a tall man. He was graying on top. But he was still built like an ox. 

"Can't believe that she settled for him." he said taking a long sip of the drink. "You know he wants to take a few months off. So that he can pioneer a new car engine." he said shaking his head. "Prick." he said again. I smiled. 

"What was it before that?" I asked. I loved egging him on. 

"The world's first. Peanut oil, driven car." he said shaking his head. "Should of stayed in the mountains, where she found him." 

"Well he doesn't want to be taken control of by the establishment." I said putting up quote signs as I said establishment. 

"Fuck off." he said. Shaking his head. "He is a loser. He doesn't want to work." he said looking at Jack dancing with his daughter. "If your father was here, he would agree with me." he said. I nodded. I had lost my father, when I was a teenager. He had put up a fight to cancer and lost. "Now that man was a worker. Never complained, never made excuses, nose to the grind stone every day." he said looking at me. "I am a better man, because of him. He made all of us seem small next to him." he said. My eyes teared as he spoke. 

"Thanks." I said. 

"And he would be damn proud of his son. You go over there and you keep doing what you always do." he said shaking my hand. 

"Oh I will." I said. I had got promoted in my job. Working for one of the largest stock trading firms in the world. He glanced back at Jack and shook his head. "Go to your wife." I said laughing. He nodded and walked away. 

I looked around there was faces that I knew and some that I didn't. Some that I probably will never see again. 

"Saying goodbye?" a familiar voice said. I smiled and turned. 

"You look great." I said looking at her face. 

"You said that earlier. When I had the wedding dress on." Mary said. Her green sparkling eyes staring up at me. 

"Well you still do." I said. She was much shorter than me. She stood at around 5'2, she was small in stature but her attitude was that of a giant. She once tried to fight a man almost 7 feet tall. She was the definition of small and spunky. She was wearing a tight green dress that flowed down to her ankles. Her long jet black hair was always straight and glossy looking. 

"Jim" she said stopping a passerby. "Take a picture of us." she said reaching into her vast amount of cleavage to pull out a phone. 

"I was wondering where you hiding it." I said. She elbowed me in the ribs. 

"Lean down, you big black giant." she smiled as I leaned a little so he could take a picture. "Thanks." she said as he handed back the phone. She looked at the phone and started pressing buttons and swiping. 

"And there it goes. To every media site on the planet." I joked. 

"Yup." she said as she nodded. "I got to have something to show people, that I once knew a billionaire, when he wasn't rich." she said. She shoved the phone back into her cleavage. 

"One day you are going to lose something down there." I said. 

"They are huge!" she said bouncing them. "What else am I supposed to do with them." she said. 

"I bet Jack, can name a few things." I said as we stood there. 

"Please." she said rolling her eyes. "He wants me to get a reduction." she said as she ordered a light drink from the bartender. 

"Yup." I said. "That does it. I really don't like him." I said shaking my head. 

"Right." she said nodding her head. We both started laughing. 

"I don't think he likes me much either so it's mutual." I said. 

"It's the whole big, tall, black, tattooed, muscular, intimidating look you give him." she said smiling. 

"I do not give a look." I said shaking my head. 

"Oh! You do too!" she said looking up at me. "You do it with all the guys, I date." she hit me on my arm. 

"Oh. Look who is talking. Mrs tude." I said back to her. 

"Don't know what you're talking about." she said shaking her head, with a smile. 

"What about the time you chased one of my ex's out of the restaurant?" I said. 

"She was chewing with her mouth open. She looked like a grazing cow!" she exclaimed. We both stared at each other. Then we started laughing again. "I am going to miss this." she said as her eyes began to tear. 

"Come on. We talked about this remember." I said wrapping my arms around her. "I downloaded all those messenger things you told me about. I even got an account on all of those social sites, just for you to reach me." I said. 

"Yeah. But it's not the same. Who am I going to call, when my car breaks down, or I need someone to fix something?" she said tears were rolling heavy now. 

"You have the number for my mechanics, and my friends here. They know they are supposed to drop everything, if you call them. And if it's that bad. You can rely on Jack's wilderness expertise." I said trying to lighten the mood. 

"Not funny." she said. 

"Come." I said leading her out of the main hall of the reception. We walked down the hall of the large building her father had rented for the night, her high heels click and clacked on the tile floor filling the hall with their noise. I found another room that was empty, it had chairs and a large table inside, probably for meetings and other things. "Ok. What is this really about?" I asked. 

"You're leaving me." she said. "And I know. What you're going to say. You're not really leaving. You're just getting a promotion. Blah Blah. But you really are." she said staring up at me. 

"No.." I began to say before she pushed off. 

"Stop!" she shouted. "You are!" she said. "I know we will stay in contact, for maybe a year. Two tops. But then you will find someone else. I might get pregnant, start my own family, you start your own. Next it will be once or twice a month, we contact each other, then once a year. Then it will just stop. All these years we have known each other gone." she said wiping her eyes. 

"I.." I began to say but I had nothing. She was right. This was life. Friends fell apart eventually. Time always had a way of doing things to friendships. "I don't know what to say." I shrugged. "Do you want me, not to take the promotion?" I asked. 

"Of course not." she shook her head. "I just want you to acknowledge. That this might be the last time we see each other." she said dropping her hands to her side. She looked at me with those eyes. The eyes that I had always given into, when she wanted things her way. The eyes that made me climb a tree to get her kite, the same eyes that talked me out of joining the military after my father had passed. The same eyes that now were telling me that this could be the last time I would see them. 

"No." I said shaking my head. "I won't. I have been in control of everything, I have ever done." I said louder than I thought. "So no!" I looked at her. She nodded her head. 

"Sorry. Sometimes I have to show you things. That you don't see." she said shrugging. 

"You waited till now?" I shouted back. "I leave tomorrow!" 

"Well. You always told everybody that you felt like I was your sister." she shrugged. "I never told anyone you were my brother." she half smiled. I reached for a chair and sat down. 

"How long?" I asked. She came close and knelled before me. 

"Do you really have to ask?" she said looking at me. I shook my head. 

"So the marriage?" I asked. 

"Something to tide me over. Till I am ready to move on." she said shrugging. 

"Does he know?" I asked. She shrugged. 

"I am sure he knows, that I don't love him. I think he is hoping once you are out of the picture, that I will fall for him." she said. 

"This is so wrong." I said. 

"Why? Because we have known each other all of our lives. Or that we just acknowledged that we love each other?" she asked. 

"Both." I said. "You should of said something." I said. 

"I didn't know till now. I thought, you really felt like I was your sister." she said. I grabbed her face and pulled it up to me. We kissed deeply. "That did not feel like a kiss, you give your sister." she smiled. She stood up and sat down on my legs. We kissed over and over again. I grabbed her ass and squeezed, she bit my lip as I picked her up and walked over to the table. I put her down on top of it as she started to unbutton my shirt. I reached for her dress. 

"No! Don't rip it. Zipper on the side." she said to me. I reached for the zipper and pulled it down. As it opened her phone lit up the room, as it got a call. She quickly reached for it. "Jack." she said to me. She answered it. As I began kissing her stomach. 

"Yes. Sorry." she said. "I know it's my reception. But I have to say goodbye to..." she said till I began to rub and squeeze her large tits. She coughed. "No. I can hear my mother. Is she near you." she said. "Put her on." she said pushing me back with one of her feet. "Down tiger." she smiled. "Mom. Stall for me. Umm I can't say. Well. Yes.. I mean no. Mom!" she said loud with her eyes open. "She wants to talk to you." she said handing me the phone. 

"Hello?" I answered. Mary began taking my pants off. 

"Are you nailing my daughter, at her wedding reception?" her mom asked. 

"I..." I began to say 

"I take that as a yes." she said. Mary had my pants down and was taking my dick out. "Well take your time. I will handle things." she said. 

"Thanks?" I said

. 

"Not the first time, this has happened." she said before hanging up. I put the phone down. 

"Your mom is..." I began to say. 

"Can we not talk about my mom, while I am about to suck your dick." she said up at me. "Unless you don't want me to." she smiled. I did not say a word. She nodded and began to take my dick in her mouth. Her head bobbed back and forth in the dark room, I barely made her head out. 

"Fuck that feels good." I said as her head bobbed faster and faster. 

"I have wanted to do this for years." she said returning her mouth to my dick. Back and forth it went. 

"If we are doing things. We have wanted to do for years." I said stopping her. I picked her up and planted her back on the table. I took off her bra. 

"I know where this is going." she said as she pushed her huge tits together. I sat up on her chest and began fucking her huge tits. "You wanted to tit fuck me for how long?" she said looking up at me. 

"Since you started developing them." I said as I fucked her huge tits. She squeezed them together tighter and began pushing them back and forth along my dick. 

"Fuck me." she said up to me. I looked down at her. "Fuck me, on my wedding day." she smiled. I climbed off of her. I pulled down her underwear and slid into her. Her back arched as I slid all the way in. "Now that feels fucking good." she said. As I bottomed out inside her. I lifted both her legs as I stood next to the table. I began fucking her hard. The table creaked and rocked as we fucked. "Harder" she moaned. "I want to remember this." she said I reached forward and grabbed one of her boobs. I put both her legs on one of my shoulders and fucked deeper. "That's it really fuck me now." she said. I did as I was told and fucked her as hard and as fast as I could. "Fuck I'm cumming." she said. Her hands slammed to the side as she tried to grip something. She let out a long shriek as she came. I was so close to cumming. 

"I am cumming." I said. She sat up with her legs wide. 

"Cum inside me." she said looking at me. She pulled me close. Our eyes were looking directly into each other. "Cum inside me." she said again. I began to moan deep as it was building. "That's it. Cum for me. Fill me up." she said. I slammed it into her and began to cum. "Good." she said. We kissed again. For a few moments we just held each other. Then we heard voices outside the door. It was people looking for us. 

"I better get out to them." she said. 

"Yeah. I better get going. My flight leaves early." I said. We put back on our clothes. We waited till there was no more voices. She opened the door first. She walked out like if nothing happened. I waited for a few seconds then left the room. I turned down the hallway to go outside. I looked back, she was standing there looking at me. We stood still for a few moments, then waved. She lowered her head and went into the main hall. I walked outside. 

"Have a good night sir." one of the limousine driver's said as I passed. I nodded back at him. I was angry. I could not tell who I was angry at, or why, but I wanted to hit something, anything. I quickly jumped into my car and started the engine. I sat there for a few, staring at a picture of the two of us. It was a picture we had taken when I had bought this car, it was hanging from the rear view mirror. I smiled and nodded. I pulled out and began to drive out of the parking lot. As I turned to exit there was someone in the middle of the road. I stopped the car and got out. 

"I can't let you go." she said. "I won't." her eyes were filled with tears. "You can't make me let you go." she said standing there. 

"I won't." I said as I ran and picked her up. We kissed again. 

"MARY!" Jack shouted from the other side of the parking lot. 

"Shut up!" a voice said from behind him. He turned around and her father punched him in the face. He fell to the floor. "Now will the two of you go already." he said up to us. We smiled and got in the car. 

"Thailand huh?" she said. As she got in the car. 

"Yup." I said as I began to drive away. 

"You think they have kites there?" she said. As we both laughed.