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Regret?

By: rollerfrog



You have the softest skin I have ever felt in my life. To this day, I can close my eyes and remember how my hands felt rough against your skin, like gliding over satin. The memory makes my fingers tingle in anticipation, my breath deepens as the memory takes over my consciousness and I can feel my heart start to ache from the knowledge that it is only a memory...and like a mirage in the hot desert it slowly fades away as I open my eyes with a feeling of sorrowful regret lumped in my throat. 

I still remember the first time you smiled at me. I was standing there grinning like an idiot and I remember not being able to tear myself away from your deep brown eyes that seemed to look right into my soul. I knew right then and there I was in trouble, but I didn't care. Truthfully, I never thought anything would come of it since I was too scared to ever do anything and just chalked it up to yet another opportunity I would never take. There are days when I wish the opportunity would have never presented itself, but what is life without experiences? Though the emptiness in my heart feels like a spike, pounding deeper with every beat, I would not take away one minute of happiness or sadness since it was one more minute I spent with you. 

Closing my eyes, I am once again transported to glimpses of our first touches. Touches that I convinced myself were innocent at the time, but in hindsight I can see how blinded I was by my own self denial. I can feel your hands on my hips, brushing against my thighs as you pulled yourself closer on the back of my motorcycle when I stupidly offered to take you on an outing and you shocked me by your eager acceptance of my invitation. I think I almost fell out of the chair in shock that you said yes. But still, I didn't put any stock into the situation. 

When we got back to my house that afternoon and watched TV with my roommates, you sat on the couch and I sat on the floor in front of you and put my arm on the couch in front of you. You slowly ran your fingers back and forth along the length of my forearm, almost absentmindedly while you chatted away apparently unaware of the torment you were causing me with every touch. I thought I was going to die but wouldn't have moved my arm if someone was threatening to cut it off right then and there. But again, I rationalized to myself that you probably were just a touchy-feely kind of person. Yes, I am stupid. Sometimes you just need to come over and write CLUE on my forehead before I get the hint. 

My memory leaps forward like skipping chapters in a book as I focus in on one of my most intense memories, every detail burned into my brain as if only a moment has passed. You had come over to help me study and brought me Indian food per my request less than an hour ago when I was on the phone jokingly asking you to come over and keep me company as I studied the night away. You should have seen the look on my face as I hung up the phone after you said you will be here soon. "Nah," I thought to myself, refusing to allow my self any hope. By the time I was done studying, it was late so I offered my couch to you for the night and you said OK. I got you a pillow and a blanket and went off to watch a movie with my roommates daughter who was visiting for the summer. I couldn't really focus on the movie since my thoughts were drawn to pictures of you sleeping on my couch. 

When the movie was over, I snuck back into the living room to check on you. You looked at me with sleepy eyes and softly said "come here" and pulled me onto the couch with you. As I laid down, you wrapped your arms around me, laid your head on my chest and slid back into unconsciousness. I closed my eyes, perfectly content with the world, when I felt your hands on my stomach, gliding your fingers in slow circles, as if you were trying to put me to sleep. Needless to say it had the opposite effect. For the longest time, you kept slowing touching me, but ever so slightly inching your way up my shirt. It must have taken half an hour, but soon you were on my chest only inches away from my nipple. I know you could feel my breath get deeper and faster as I futility tried to control my reactions for fear that you might stop. Finally, you caught my already erect nipple with your fingers and teased it between your index finger and your thumb. I couldn't control my breathing anymore, especially after the 30 minute build up of anticipation of this very moment of validation. Even a stupid person like me couldn't deny the facts now. You were certainly making your intentions clear at this point. As soon as you were aware of my reaction, you pulled yourself on top of me. I took the opportunity and grabbed the back of your neck and kissed you, roughly at first, then teasingly I ran my tongue along your bottom lip before a caught it in my teeth and nibbled ever so slightly. 

This is my first ever attempt at writing. Wasn't sure how it would go, if you are interested in the ending, let me know and I will finish it.

Regretful Revenge



About three years ago I completely humiliated an ex roommate and have felt pretty terrible about it ever since. 

It was getting toward the end of the month and like every month I would remind my roommate Danielle that we would need to get the rent in on time to avoid the $50 late fee. She dismissed it like she always did and told me not to worry she would have it, but something wasn't quite right this time. I mean, we had been friends for years but lately she was becoming combative and avoiding me whenever she had the chance. I couldn't even get a "hello" out of her as I passed by her door on the way to class. 

I contributed majority of that to the fact that we weren't nearly as close as when we first moved in together. I was attending nursing school and she managed a local grocery store, a job she got while in high school and was eventually promoted. We used to talk about everything from men, to life and careers, she was there for me when I found out my ex was cheating on me two weeks after he proposed. We would talk about our insecurities and I learned that she was extremely self-conscious about her appearance. It seemed ridiculous to me because she was beautiful, but hearing her describe herself it was evident she didn't see what the rest of the world did. She was so awkward when she received any male attention and I used to tease her about it but I could see that her body image bothered her. 

It was getting close to the rent deadline and I reminded her again as she stormed by on her way to work, "I'll have your fucking rent Ashley", she screamed at me as she slammed the door behind her. I'd never seen her like that before and I wasn't sure what was bothering her but at the time I was more concerned about keeping a roof over my head. I couldn't cover her share if she defaulted and I really didn't want to have to beg my parents yet again for another hand out.

It was the day of the deadline and now I was getting worried. I was stuck in classes all day but in between breaks I would call, text, leave messages on Facebook, but didn't get a response. I had never been so angry as it was perfectly clear she was avoiding me.

By the end of the day I was out of my mind with frustration and raced home in a rage bent on finding my roommate and taking the rent money by force if it came to that, but when I arrived all of her stuff and half of the furniture was gone. Sitting on the floor of my near-empty apartment I cried as I made the shameful call to my parents, who were not exactly in the best financial situation either. The whole time I couldn't take my mind off that inconsiderate bitch and how badly I wanted revenge.

A month or so later my friend Aster moved in and I was finally getting back on my feet. Our schedules were similar so we would often go meet up together with a couple of our other friends and have a little impromptu girls-only roundtable and discuss the day over some dinner and wine. 

Cara, who worked with my ex-roommate, brought up the incident and told me that she confronted Danielle about it at work but that she brushed it off and ignored her, even threatened to fire her if she brought it up again. This started an avalanche of bad roommate stories from the group and we laughed and drank into the late evening. Maria, a gregarious redhead and our de facto leader spoke up.

"You know we should do something about this, for Ashley, she needs justice", we all laughed.

"Yeah, let's go beat that bitch up", Aster slurred to even more laughter.

"No, it's done and over, I just want to forget all about her and move on", I protested but I could see the mob wasn't having any of it.

"Oh hey, I have a great idea" Cara giggled and leaned over to whisper her plan to Maria. Maria burst out with laughter knocking over her wine glass.

"Holy shit", she exclaimed, "We have to do this!" We looked puzzled as Maria motioned for everyone to lean in close so she could explain in great detail Cara's stroke of genius. The table erupted in laughter and my face was beet red as I hid behind my hands in embarrassment. Amidst the laughter and wine it seemed like the perfect plan.

I was giddy with excitement as I received a text from Maria the next morning telling me preparations were underway. However, I kept getting this nagging feeling that the punishment was a little harsh but at the same time I also considered how she left me high and dry and how my parents had to take money out of their retirement account to help me out and it just made me so angry that the opportunity to get even was too good to pass up.

I got the call the next day. 

"You ready?" It was Maria whispering in her best undercover operative voice. 

"What, right now?" I stammered, my heart racing.

"Yes, Cara says she's located the target at work and that we should move out now." I laughed at Maria's enthusiasm. "Aster is coming in the van to pick you up, be ready!" I couldn't believe my ears we were actually putting this silly plan into action. The "target's" location was the grocery store that she managed for the last six or so years. Cara worked in the pharmacy department and was keeping us updated on Danielle's whereabouts. 

The grocery store itself was relatively old but extremely busy. In a small town like ours it was the unofficial center of commerce and one of its more quaint fixtures were several old children's rides lined along the outside of the store adjacent to the entrance about twenty feet. They were modeled after horses, spaceships, and various other vehicles and you'd insert a quarter and they would wobble and bounce around for a few minutes. Nestled in the middle was a bright red race car that even made real engines noises, perfect for what we had planned.

It was late into the hot afternoon as we quietly pulled into an empty spot and waited for the signal from Cara. Huddled together in the back of the van my stomach was turning in on itself as Maria went over the checklist to ensure everything was in order. 

"Ok, looks like we're all set. Now we just wait for Cara. You nervous Ash, you look nervous?" 

"Well, actually a little, I mean I'm not sure we should do this, she's worked her a long time", I said timidly.

Aster spoke up, "Oh come on don't be such a baby. Do you remember how down you were after she ran out on you, how you thought she was your friend yet she betrayed you without so much as a phone call?"

"That's right", Maria interrupted. "What if you couldn't cover your rent, huh? What if you got kicked out of your apartment because of that bitch, what then? How often does anyone get a chance for a little payback? Don't get weak on us now Ash."

"You're right, maybe she deserves this", I hesitantly agreed. Maria and Aster both smiled and we sat in silence until we saw Cara emerge from the entrance and hurriedly make her way toward the van. Laughing, she popped her head in from the open front window. 

"She's going on break now and should be heading to her car any second, get ready!" My stomach was in knots and I rocked anxiously in my seat, the others did the same. Our heads ducked under the van's windows in unison as we saw Danielle spring briskly from the front double doors and head towards her car. Cara waived excitedly to grab her attention and set our devious plan into motion.

"Hey Danielle, Danielle wait up, you have to see this!"

"What is it Cara I'm kind of in a hurry?" Danielle scoffed as she picked up her pace.

"It's really important it won't take but a second, It's over here, come on." Cara pointed toward the white cargo van. 

"Jesus Cara, make it quick." I could almost see the disdain on her face as I heard her heels clop against the concrete toward the van where Maria, Aster, and I laid hidden. 

"Ok, what is it? What's so important?" Danielle said impatiently. 

"This" Cara smiled as Maria and Aster threw open the Van's heavy doors and suddenly I was face to face with my ex-roommate. Clinching a roll of duct tape tightly in my hands I sat silently and stared intently into her eyes.

"Ashley, what the hell are you doing here? What the fuck is this?" Before Danielle could utter another word Cara shoved her in the back and she came toppling into the van where the four of us quickly pounced on top of her. Her eyes were red with anger as she shouted and struggled with every ounce of her strength. Maria released the hand she had cupped over Danielle's mouth long enough for me to generously slap thick strips of tape across her lips, enough to reduce her screams to a muffled whimper. 

"Ok, you guys got her?" Cara asked as she sprang up from the dog pile.

"We got her, let's go" Maria yelled. Cara hopped into the driver's seat and the van lurched forward as we raced toward our destination in front of the old amusement rides. Cara pulled the oversized van into the "NO PARKING" zone snug against the store's west wall. To anyone leaving or entering the store it would appear to be just another innocuous van loading groceries but in reality it was just subterfuge there to conceal the real show behind the van.

On the opposite side of the rides several feet was a wall of solid concrete lined with payphones and ATMs. Huge vertically stacked displays of soft drink cases stickered with oversized "ON SALE" adverts made up most of the east side. With the extra cover the van provided we had a walled-in, haphazardly constructed theatre in which to operate. However, we had to move fast less someone get nostalgic and want to visit the old rides. They would get much more than they bargained for on their walk down memory lane. 

The van's big doors swung open and the four of us piled out heaving Danielle like a rolled up carpet as she desperately tried to wriggle her way free. On the other side of the van we could hear the chatter of shoppers coming and going. Danielle screamed out with everything she had but the duct tape and vehicle's noisy engine quickly drowned her out. With a thud we dropped her body onto the red sports car ride and jumped on top of her. 

"Aster, give me the cuffs" Maria whispered. Smirking, Aster slapped down a set of metal handcuffs into Maria's hands. Maria forcefully grabbed Danielle's wrist and slapped the cuffs around them and dragged her arm under the left-front tire axle and clasped the other end back on the same wrist. Danielle pulled hard against the cuffs as she screamed in rage. Her fight against the four of us intensified ten-fold as she realized we were going to bind her helplessly against the hood of the sport's car. Aster cuffed Danielle's ankles to either side of the back tires while I held her down the best I could. Her face was purple with frustration and her voice began to strain from constant screaming. 

As Cara closed the cuffs around Danielle's left arm we all doubled over with exhaustion and giggled sheepishly as we watched my old roommate hopelessly struggle with what little energy she could still muster. She was splayed against the hood of the car like a starfish stranded on the beach. 

"Whew, ok Ashley you ready?" Maria gasped as she handed me a large pair of scissors. Suddenly, Danielle's vigor was renewed and she began to fight so hard against her restraints I thought she might rip the old ride right out of the concrete. The other girls quickly leapt up and held her in place. 

"Go ahead Ashley, we got her", whispered Aster. Danielle breathed heavily as I laid the scissors against the collar of her work blouse, beads of sweat bubbled around her slim neckline. With an awkward smile I gazed into her eyes as I began to cut down the seams of her shirt shredding the thin fabric in two. Enraged, she cursed behind the duct tape as I yanked the tattered rags of her blouse right off her body exposing her white bra. 

We giggled uncontrollably and Danielle gasped as if she had just been doused in ice water. She fell silent and I could see in her eyes she was overcome with embarrassment. 

"Awww, do you want this back?", Maria teased as she paraded the shirt's shredded remains. She was enjoying this way too much and I think somewhere in her past Maria must have had a Danielle of her own and was now relishing this outlet for revenge.

"Hurry up, we don't have much time", Cara urged as she pulled off Danielle's shoes and socks and tossed them to the side. Aster coiled off Danielle's belt as I slid the scissors into her waist band. She struggled and fought as a tear escaped her eye and with hearty strides I recklessly cut down the seams of her black pants. The garment separated into pieces at the cuffs, and much the same way I did her blouse, I yanked the rags right off her body to reveal a tiny pair of blue panties. 

The full balance of her situation hit her at once and Danielle began to cry. She was handcuffed on top of an old amusement ride in broad daylight in nothing but her underwear in front of the grocery store she managed! How could she live down the humiliation when her coworkers find her like this?

We quietly reveled in our handy work but Cara was quick to snap us back on track, "Ok, Maria load this handful of quarters into the machine and I'll go round everyone up. As soon as you see us coming hit the start button, then everyone hop in the van, and we'll peel out."

As soon as Danielle heard this she thrashed wildly against her restraints and screamed with everything she had behind her gag, begging not to be exposed this way to people she had to interact with every day. Her eyes, desperate and regretful, seemed to call out to me as some sort of final appeal but I felt as if things were now out of my hands and I slowly sank back into the gang's bustle and laughter. 

Maria stood defiantly, hovering over Danielle's helpless body she leered with a crooked smile and then motioned us over with a commanding voice. 

"Wait!" Confused, we stopped in our tracks and stared at each other then back at Maria. She stood silently for several seconds, her face flustered and red. "If we're going to humiliate this bitch we need to go all the way."

Danielle was a broken mess of sweat and tears, incoherently shrieking between her sobs. The three of us were taken aback by Maria's statement. I looked at the others then spoke up.

"I think this is far enough Maria. Seriously, if you strip her naked she could get arrested, we could ruin her life. This isn't right, please, can we just go." Maria's breathed heavily and looked over her shoulder toward Cara.

"Do it." Cara grinned enthusiastically as I looked on in bewilderment. Maria turned toward Aster whose face was beaming with excitement and already nodding with approval.

As Maria moved closer with the scissors Danielle tore against her restraints as a last futile attempt to save herself from this nightmare. Maria smiled and placed the scissors into Danielle's bra straps and snipped them in two, then one more vertically between her cups. She glanced back to find the three of us huddled together anxious and uneasy. Above the clang and clatter of the Van's engine and the chatter of the busy store I heard Danielle whimper softly, "Please don't, please don't do this to me." I looked at Aster and Cara and their faces had grown somber having realized, just as I had, that the joke had been taken too far. This was painfully evident to everyone but Maria who was on fire and overjoyed as she triumphantly ripped the bra right off Danielle's chest. Her full pale breasts bounced out and laid fully exposed. 

I could only watch silently as Danielle's body fell ghostly white and her breathing became erratic, her eyes frantic and lost. I tried to imagine what terrible thoughts and feelings must be running through her mind. The shame, the degradation, the faces of everyone you've ever worked with as they stare at your naked, spread-eagle body; the aftermath, the laughing, the gossip, the pictures, my god the humiliation would be unbearable. 

Maria bunched up Danielle panties into her fist ready to deal the final blow and rob her of the last of her modesty. I couldn't sit idle any longer and let this woman, my old friend, be completely ruined. I leapt forward and grabbed Maria's wrist.

"Maria stop!" Maria was lost in a daze but steadied her hand briefly to let me speak. "Please, just let her keep her panties on. Don't do this to her, she's embarrassed enough."

"Yeah Maria, this has gone far enough, let's get out of here." Aster begged. 

I already knew it was too late. Maria stared into my eyes, then into Danielle's, then back to mine. Was she truly conflicted or was she just toying with the last of Danielle's dignity? The group winced as we heard the rip of her panties as Maria yanked them off her sweaty body. Danielle's eyes ballooned open wide and she screamed at the top of her lungs. She tried desperately to close he legs but the cuffs kept her spread wide open, her pubic area was shaved bald and there was no way to conceal her most intimate areas.

We all stood silent for a moment, no one was quite sure what to do. Maria wrangled us up and hastily barked the orders.

"Ok Cara, go get everyone, and make sure you get everybody!" I'll load in the quarters, you guys grab all of her clothes and shoes and get in the van. 

"We're going to leave her here stranded naked?" Aster asked.

"Yes of course, now hurry up." Aster piled all of Danielle's belongings and hoisted them into the van while Maria loaded dozens of quarters into the hot rod. This poor naked woman was going to be stuck on this ride until the timer ran out, each horrifying second worst than the last—I shuddered at the thought. 

I heard a commotion rumbling toward me and knew that Cara had kept her end of the bargain. Aster hopped into the front seat of the van and I was close behind. Maria waited just outside the door. I peered outside the window to see Danielle strangely quiet. I suppose she wanted to take these last few moments to reflect on what little respect she had earned over her six years working here before it all came crashing down.

Cara bounded around the corner in a huff. "They're coming, let's go!" With that she jumped into the van. Maria quickly hit the button and the race car sprang to life. It dipped and dove, shimmied left and right, shook and rattled. Danielle's breasts bounced and swirled, her buttocks slid back and forth across the sweat-soaked hood. I was overwhelmed with embarrassment for her. 

Suddenly, a barrage of the store's employees filed out of the building confused at all of the commotion. The four of us laid hidden in the van and Aster beeped the horn loudly to draw the crowd's attention then slowly began to pull forward as if she was drawing the curtains for the big show. As the van pulled away I heard a loud shriek from the audience.

"Oh my god Danielle you're naked!" one of the cashiers screamed. I peered out of the back window and saw the horrified looks on their faces as they all stood in shock and stared at Danielle's naked body bouncing helplessly on the red race car. I fell backward as the van jerked to a stop.

"Aster what are you doing, get us out of here" Maria commanded. 

"Just a second, I want to see the look on her face", Aster laughed. I didn't want to be here for this but at the same time I couldn't look away. Danielle's eyes were as big as saucers as she was forced to look on in mortifying embarrassment as her co-workers surveyed every last inch of her nakedness. She had to watch as they pointed and leered at her vagina, raucously laughing at her jiggling breasts. She was forced to confront the culmination of all of her body self-consciousness all at once as she laid bare in front of everyone. 

The crowd was dividing in their reaction, some gasped and cried out for help, others cheered and took pictures with their phones; soon Danielle would be the laughing stock of the whole town. She turned toward me and our eyes meet briefly. Her makeup was running down her face, she was drenched in sweat, every inch of her flesh shook and wobbled along with the amusement ride and yet through all of that I could still see the utter desperation in her expression. To this day it's what I remember the most. Right then I wished all of this had never happened. I wished I had leapt out of that van and saved her, shielded her from further humiliation—but I didn't. 




Regretful Revenge



The van pulled away slowly and we left Danielle naked and alone to drown in her own embarrassment. Aster waived to the onlookers as she sounded the horn victoriously, waiving the girl's blue panties around like a celebratory banner. As soon as we crossed over the Meridwa Creek Bridge Maria tossed Danielle's clothes, keys, and purse out the window and into the water below. 

The ride home was silent and the four of us never spoke of the incident again. I think we all realized that we had taken things way too far and the shame we felt would stay with us for a long time to come.



Regrets



We burst through the door as we entered our home; happy, exuberant and eager to undress and make love. It was after midnight and we were returning from celebrating our 20th anniversary with a small group of family and friends. 

"Twenty years," I told my wife Lila, "twenty years and not a single regret. I love you more now than ever and I thank you for every minute we have been together."

"I love you too." she replied, "You are the only man I have ever loved or want to love. I am happier now than I have ever been."

"No regrets?" I questioned, picking up on her omission.

"Not a one......except..........well........maybe...."

"Come on, out with it. You know you can't keep any secrets from me."

"It's not a secret; it's just some thing that I realized when I was having a talk with Kerry this afternoon."

"She's in college and nineteen years old. She must be accustomed to being away from home. Surely you talked to her about the birds and the bees before this."

"Of course I have," she replied, "our daughter is very knowledgeable when it comes to sex; much more so than I was at her age."

"You were nineteen when we got married, so how can she know more than you did?"

"That's exactly it. I was a virgin when we married. You are the only man I have ever been with. She has been with two boys in high school and Ryan is the second one she has slept with in college so far."

"So far? Are you telling me our daughter is a slut? What the hell is going on under my nose? I'm not about to support a son and daughter to sleep around in college. And what about if she has a baby.......?"

"Calm down honey," she interrupted my tirade, "her virginity is long gone and no one seems to care about that these days anyway."

"Then why are we talking about this? How did we get on this subject when we were so happily celebrating our anniversary?" 

"You asked if I had any regrets and all I could possibly think of is that Kerry already has had a much more varied sex life than I ever had." 

"Well let me show you that quality trumps variety anytime," and I took her to bed and made love to her the best way I knew how. When we cuddled afterwards I kissed her and said, "Good night Lila, I love you, you're all the woman I will ever want."

"I love you too Max, good night."

************

I am a lawyer, a pretty good one, and I put in a lot highly paid billable hours. Lila and I lead a very comfortable life. But I come from very humble circumstances. My paternal grand parents come over from Eastern Europe bringing my father as an infant. Grandpa worked in the steel mills around Pittsburgh and my father followed him into the mills until they closed down in the seventies and eighties. Times were tough for us then but somehow my parents made it through and my Dad made sure I went to college and law school so I would never have to be dependent on a mill job like he was. 

My way of giving back for what they did for me was to run the pro bono section in our law firm. Pro bono is a free service we provide for people who have been wronged, often by the intricacies of the law, and cannot afford the legal fees needed to obtain justice. I did it once a week, after office hours, from 6 pm until we finished up, often until midnight. I donated my time and paid the one secretary who stayed late to help me. I had been doing this for many years every Thursday evening and Janet Hobbs was the secretary who most often stayed as my assistant. She needed the money because she was a recent widow with two teen aged children to support.

About a week after our anniversary we were finishing dinner when Lila brought up the subject again. 

"Max," she said, "I have been thinking....." She let the subject hang.

"About what?" I bit.

"About age and experience."

"What are you getting at Lila?"

"I'm 39 years old and in a few more years I will start menopause. I'm getting old and I am so inexperi0enced. My daughter has had more varied sexual experiences than I have had and the six years you had in college and law school gave you a lot more chances with a lot more women before we got married,

"Lila, you have had twenty years experience with me. We have tried lots of things together, even some things you didn't like and refused to do. I never forced you."

"That's just it, you never forced me. You love me too much."

"How can I love you too much?" I didn't like where this conversation was going. "Just what is it that you are trying to say?"

She hesitated, afraid to say what was on her mind and then suddenly blurted out, "I want someone different than you, some one who doesn't love me, some one who just wants to fuck me. I just want to try someone different and I want your permission before I do it."

There it was; a big fat elephant in the room, sitting on his rump, his truck upraised trumpeting his triumph and that stupid elephant smile on his face.

"You want my permission to fuck other men? Are you crazy? You are my wife! How can I give you permission to fuck some one else? Well my answer is, NO! It's like playing with fire. Some one will get burnt. No good can out of such an arrangement." 

"Please Max; this is something I have to do. I don't want to do it behind your back, I don't want to cheat. I'll tell you all about it when it happens, every detail."

"Good grief woman, why would I want to know that? I don't want to know about it, I don't want to hear about it and I certainly don't want to hear the details about it. I won't ask and you won't have to tell."

What I didn't realize was that with what I said, she took it that I implied permission for her to pursue her delusion as long as she didn't tell me about it.

The following week after the discussion I had with Lila, I finished up my Thursday night pro bono work earlier than usual. When I got home Lila wasn't there. As I was preparing for bed she came home. I could tell she had been drinking and she smelled of cigarette smoke.

"Where have you been and why are you dressed like that?" I challenged her. She was wearing tight jeans and an even tighter sweater. She looked very sexy.

"I was out. I didn't feel like staying home alone. It's not like when I had the kids for company every Thursday while you worked late."

"Does this have anything to do with what we talked about last week?"

After a moments hesitation she gave me defiant, "Yes."

"Lila, please don't do this. We have had twenty wonderful years together, two children to be proud of and a lifetime of good living in front of us. Please don't jeopardize our future together."

"I haven't done anything that I am ashamed of nor do I intend to do anything that I can't tell you about. I will freely discuss anything you want to know any time you ask."

"No thanks, if what you are doing is what I think it is, it's not something I can be comfortable with. I'm not one of those guys who gets off on his wife's adventures. I didn't give yon permission to do this and there is no way I can stop you if you persist except to say that you are putting our marriage in jeopardy."

"Well I'm not doing anything wrong and if you don't want to ask then I don't want to tell so let's just leave it at that."

Well, I couldn't just leave it at that, I had to know what was going on, on Thursday evenings. So I hired a private detective to follow her. The report came back and it wasn't all that bad. She was going to a bar/restaurant called 'The Cougar's Club', an up scale establishment not far from where we lived. There, she spent the evening seated at the bar conversing, and some times flirting and dancing with several men and even some women. There was nothing in her behavior that was really objectionable. She was always home by midnight and I called off the surveillance, until the night she came home drunk and horny.

I had walked in a few minutes before her and I had just started washing up before going to bed. She walked up behind me as I was standing in front of the sink, I could see her reflected in the mirror. Her hair was tousled and her face was flushed. She was wearing a scoop necked sweater and her pushed up tits were almost overflowing her neckline. Her skirt was as least four inches above her knees. She looked sexy as all hell and acted just the way she looked. She also smelled of booze, pot and after shave.

She walked up behind me and put her arms around my waist, pressing her erect nipples against my back and her pelvis against my ass. It was obvious that some one had her hot and horny and all worked up and she had not been satisfied. 

"Come on honey, take me to bed and fuck my brains out." she said as she kissed my back and her hands crept inside of my boxers to play with my cock. I don't know why, but I was pissed off because I imagined what some guy must have done to have gotten her so aroused. Someone else must have had his hands on her ass, or tits and gotten her to the point that she wanted to be fucked. 

I knew she hadn't been brought to completion but I still felt as if she was offering me sloppy seconds and I turned her down. 

"I'm sorry babe, it's just been too long a day, and I don't think I can get it up."

I could be just as stubborn as she was. I could tell she was more than disappointed. Probably very angry because she looked at me for a long moment and then said, "OK, if that's the way you want it."

The next week she didn't come home until after I was asleep but I woke up when I heard the shower running at 2 am. She never showered when she came home on any of the previous Thursdays. I was feigning sleep with my back to her when she got into bed and kissed my shoulder.

"It's a good thing you won't ask," she whispered, "because now I won't have to tell."

God damn it, what had she done! I laid there stewing, my imagination running wild. In the morning at breakfast I refused to say anything about what time she got home or ask about what she had done. But the tension between us was palpable. I didn't even kiss her goodbye when I left for work.

I was more than a little annoyed at what was going on and I decided to check out the Cougar's Club for myself. I went there for lunch; it was a pretty big place with two big bars with a large settee area in between. Sofas and love seats and hassocks spread out. The restaurant was an after thought, tucked in the back behind a small dance floor. Everything done in dark colors and dim even in the afternoon. 

I sat at the bar and watched the few people there, three women sitting singly, two of whom soon paired up with two guys. I said to the bar tender, indicating the women with a nod of my head. "Not much action today?"

"Naw," he said, "never is much during the day, mostly housewives who can't get out at night. The real action is mostly nights, Thursday night seems to attract the married ones and Friday and Saturday nights, the single women." 

"How real is the action?"

"Well we don't allow any obvious fucking but almost anything up to that goes on. I've heard plenty of women getting it off while they were wrapped around some guy."

I took out my wallet, I had a head shot of Lila in it. I laid it on the bar.

"Ever seen this woman in here?" I laid a $100 dollar bill next to it.

"Yeah, she comes in a couple of times a week." Another hundred on top of the first.

"Days or evenings?" Another hundred

"Sometimes during the day, every Thursday night." Another hundred

"Does she ever hook up?" One more hundred.

"Every time. That's one hot Mama."

"Thanks," I said and I got up to leave.

"Hey, don't forget your picture." he called out as I walked away.

"I don't need it any more." was my parting remark.

I told Janet Hobbs that we were going out to dinner next Thursday evening; pro bono would have to get along without us. She gave me a questioning look and I had to tell why.

"Oh Max, I'm so sorry to hear this. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know Janet. I really don't know what is going on. That's why I want to go there tonight to see for myself. I'm asking you out because I need a companion so I won't look out of place." 

She agreed to come with me and Thursday night we were in the club, in the settee area, sitting on a love seat, watching Lila waiting at the bar. I saw her face light up when he walked up to her. I saw the sparkle in her eye and her arms go around his neck when he kissed her hello. I saw his hands cup her ass as he pulled her to him and I saw her thrusting her hips as she rubbed her cunt on his thigh. She was humping him as he openly fondled her ass.

They started walking in our direction and even in the dim light I was afraid she would recognize me so I quickly swung around and with the back of my head facing them. I kissed Janet. I heard them settle into the sofa near us and we could hear their muted conversation. 

"I have been dreaming about your cock all week," Lila said, "I can still feel it pulsing between my tits and spraying on my face. It made me cum when you did that."

"It will be better when you let me cum inside of you. I want to feel your pussy clamping down on my cock when you cum tonight. Why are you holding me off? When are you going to let me in?"

Ohhh god Larry," she moaned, "When you do that to me......Ooh please........ Larry.... Please, your making........me cummmmmmmmmmmm. 

"I'm glad you listened to me and you didn't wear a bra tonight. Your tit is so soft and your nipple so hard."

"Oh god, you make me so hot. I can't get enough of you. I'm cumming againnnnnnnn."

"Lila please, let me fuck you. Sit on my cock, Nobody will know."

"No, let me suck it first. I love the taste of your cum."

"No, Lila. No I'll cum too soon. Ooh god........yes..... swallow it all......ooooh.

It was all too much. Even though I was listening to my wife, I was kissing Janet and I didn't stop. My hand went to her tit and at first she tried to push it away but then her hand left mine and it went to my cock, my stiff hard cock, and she stroked it. I came in my pants and she followed when my hand rubbed her clit. Both of us had wet pants and we couldn't talk for fear of being overheard. 

But we could hear Larry, "Come home with me. Let me make love to you in my bed. Let me fill your pussy with my love juice and let me be your husband."

"Larry, you're so sweet. But you're fifteen years younger than I am. We would never last as a couple. You are almost the same age as my daughter. Besides, I still love my husband; I don't want to leave him. I told you when we started; I just wanted to experience some different men."

I stood up and lifted Janet with me. As I did I heard Lila continue, "Oh yes, right there........ooooooh yes...... on my clit.....your tongue.......so good.....

Janet and I wended our way through the wriggling mass of bodies that now surrounded us and we made our way back to our cars. I said to her, "I'm embarrassed, that never should have happened."

"I'm glad it did," she answered, "It's been too long for me since my husband died." She stepped in close and gave me a lingering kiss on the lips. "I enjoyed every bit of it. It's just too bad about your wife. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. She says she doesn't want to leave me. She said she still loves me. I guess I will have to blink and ask her what is going on. I have to know if she fucked him and if she will stop."

"Good luck." was her parting comment and I went home to await Lila's return.

It was after two am when she walked in the door. I was sitting in the den awaiting her return. She was not even trying to hide her tardiness. 

"Hi Max, I didn't expect you to waiting up for me."

"I know you didn't but we have to talk. This can't go on."

"What can't go on?"

"Your going out on Thursday nights. Where do you go, Lila? What do you do?"

"What happened to 'Don't ask, don't tell?" She countered my question with hers.

"It's over, finished, and our marriage might be also. Did you fuck him, Lila?"

"Our marriage, finished? Did I fuck who? What are you talking about?"

You once told me that you did nothing to be ashamed of, nothing that you couldn't tell me about. Do you want to tell me what you did tonight?"

She stood silently, her eyes downcast, her fingers nervously wrestling with one another.

"I'm talking about Larry, the guy you have been meeting at the Cougar's Club. Did you fuck him tonight?"

"No, I never fucked anyone but you."

"I can see you are not wearing a bra. Are you wearing panties?"

She didn't answer and the look on her face told me what I wanted to know.

"He had his fingers in your pussy?"

A whispered, "Yes. But never his cock"

"He never had his cock in your mouth or in your ass," I questioned?

Silence, which was answer enough.

"Do you want to stay married to me?"

"Yes," the tears were running now.

"OK then you don't have to tell me anymore. You have had your experience with another man. That's as much as you are going to get. You have done things with anther man that you have never done with me. Things that you denied and refused me. It stops now or our marriage is finished. I love you but I will not share you. It is going to be hard for us to get past this and if you do anything that resembles intimacy with anyone but me we are done. Do you understand and do you accept my conditions?"

"Yes." 

I accepted her desire to remain married and her promise to be faithful but it was never the same between us. There was never the same love and trust, never the same confidence in our relationship, never the same sharing of our lives. In the rare times when we made love it was more mechanical than passionate. Perhaps I always felt I was in competition with Larry, perhaps she was looking for something of him in me. The intimacy was gone from our marriage.

It took less than two years for every thing to fall apart. I came home from work one evening to find the house empty, no Lila to greet me, no dinner waiting. Instead I found letter propped up on the kitchen table. It read,

Max

I'm so sorry for what happened to our marriage. It's all my fault and I accept the entire blame. I still love you, just not the way I once did and I am sure that you feel it's not the same either. It's just not like it was between us before I wanted to experience another man, 

I know some one has replaced me in you heart, I don't know who but she has come between us. I do know that I cannot remain in this farce of a marriage, knowing I was the one who destroyed it. You told me once I was playing with fire and I realize that I am the one who got burnt.

I ran into Larry a few months ago and we have become lovers again. I find that now I am much more comfortable with him than I am with you. Maybe it's the guilt I am carrying. I am taking only what I came into our marriage with, my clothes (although they are more now than I had then) and my personal items. I want and deserve nothing else from you.

When you want a divorce I will accept whatever terms you propose.

I leave you with my best wishes and deepest regrets,

Lila

There it was then, the final blow, my marriage was over. Of course the end had started with her decision to sample another man but the tipping point was my relationship with Janet. The evening at the Cougar's Club was only the beginning of an extra marital romance that grew way beyond that first evenings kisses.

Janet and I had become very close working together on those pro bono evenings and even closer after we shared those kisses at the Cougar's Club. She became my personal assistant in the office and my mistress during our lengthened lunches and afternoon assignations. She was soon joining me on all of my out of town trips. The sex with her was incredible, much more varied and more intense than it ever was with Lila. I was spending so much time with her that I hardly came home to Lila. By the time Lila left, I didn't miss her at all. The strangest thing was that Janet never asked why I didn't marry her.




Regrets



Of course the reason was that I never divorced Lila. I knew the court would award her some share of my wealth and I had no desire to share any of it with Lila for the benefit of Larry. I had cut any financial ties to her the day after I read her letter. I had found out later, from my children, that she had moved in with him and had subsequently become pregnant. I had thought she was past that possibility, evidently so did she. Eventually, I heard that she had a boy and it must have upset their relationship because they separated shortly thereafter. Then I lost track of Lila, she just seemed to disappear.

My children finished college and Janet's children entered their university years. This freed Janet to move in with me. We became a couple and everyone, even my children, seemed to accept the fact that we were as good as married. Everything was fine for about three years and then I got a call from an Officer Stanley Grabowski on a Thursday evening. Janet answered the phone, I watched her face as she handed it to me, "It's about Lila," she said. 

"You don't know me Councilor," he said, "but a couple of years ago you helped my brother get out of a wrongful conviction and I am now returning your favor. I broke up a bar room brawl a little while ago, two guys were fighting over a woman in a gin mill over on Third Street and I had to take them all into custody."

"What's that got to do with me? I don't take on those kinds of cases."

"The woman was egging them on telling them that winner could take her home."

"So?"

"The woman says she was your wife. I didn't want to book her without calling you first. I'm returning your favor."

"I'll be right there." 

She was locked in to the back seat of the police cruiser, she had been screaming like a banshee. She was a mess, a black eye, clothes torn, makeup smeared all over her face, her voice now reduced to a hoarse whisper, she was drunk. I had never seen her like this. 

I thanked Grabowski and took her home and she started to fight back when I tried to get her into the house. I overpowered her and literally threw her into the shower, clothes and all, and turned it on cold and that seemed to shock her into some semblance of sanity. Janet was there and helped me get her to the point where I could get the clothes off of her and it was there that I got shocked. She has lost a lot of weight and was covered with bruises........and hickies. Tits, belly, inner thighs, neck and shoulders, covered with suck marks and bite marks. 

The next morning I had a doctor come to the house. I had helped him out of a malpractice problem and he owed me a favor. He took a lot of blood samples and after interviewing Lila and me, said if the blood tests confirmed his preliminary diagnosis; it was a simple case of menopausal and hormonal imbalances that he should be able to clear up. And that's what it turned out to be, early onset menopause that had her system completely out of whack. 

It seems she had been making her living on her back. She was whore, maybe she was still looking for variety. How she survived and supported her son was beyond my comprehension. The boy was with her roommate, another prostitute, and they were barely scraping out a living between the two of them. He was a cute kid, undernourished but with a lively personality. But what really got to me was that she had named him Max! 

It took a while, for her body to heal and a bit longer for her to regain her sanity and then the three of us sat down to talk. She realized what had she had done and that there was no going back to what we once had. I agreed to a divorce with a settlement that would let her get started in a new life, now that she was rational. Janet talked me into getting both Lila and her roommate jobs with a client of ours but on different shifts so someone would always with the boy.

Because of my children I maintained contact with Lila and, I ended up monitoring her life. Now that she got the medical help she needed she kept her life in order. We both accepted that our break up was complete and could not be repaired. Besides, I was now completely in love with Janet, who I finally did marry. Max turned out to be a great kid and I became Uncle Max and a mentor to him. Maybe he will grow up to be a lawyer too. 

Regrets, I had a few. But I ended up with woman who I loved, perhaps more than the one I lost. It was Lila who had the most to regret but she now has her second son, who she seems to dote on. Maybe it all evened out.



Regrets



Regrets, I have a few.

But unlike the song, where it states, too few to mention. In my case, my mistakes are of my own making, many in number, and mostly ones I'm deeply ashamed of.

Before I start on telling my tale of woe, I'll just give you a brief glimpse into who I am and my situation at the onset.

My name is Cheryl; I'm a twenty-two year old, 5' 7" blond with a 38-26-38 figure. I'm married to Garry, he's thirty-three, 5' 11" slight build, but with a volatile temper. And this temper was something I never found out about until after we'd married. But in these last two years since our wedding day, I've been on the receiving end of his fists over a dozen times. Once, being so badly bruised, I'd had to ring in sick, blaming my two week absence on a bout of influenza.

I guess like most people, you're thinking, Stupid Cow. If things are that bad, just walk out and leave him.

But anyone who is in the same situation as me will know, it isn't that simple.

I love him.

And I know he loves me.

It isn't really his fault, it's usually mine. I'll do something wrong (not intentionally) or forget to do something I've promised to do, and it will annoy him. It isn't his fault he's got a short fuse. And he's always sorry afterwards.

Well I won't dwell on this part of my relationship with my Garry, but I mentioned it in passing, as it goes some way to explaining my actions; the actions this story is about, and the great regret of my life.

It was not long after I'd had the two weeks sick leave to recover from a beating, when I was called into the office. They explained the company was down-sizing, and after reviewing my absentee record, they regretfully were going to have to let me go.

This in itself didn't go down well with Garry, and in no time, the lack of my wage was soon making our household finances very tight. So first thing to go was my car. But even though Garry didn't need his car to get to work, there was no way he'd allow me to use it. Consequently, it was only insured for him, as it had been before I sold my car.

I guess even that was understandable; I had been on his insurance when we first wed, and I twice damage his alloy wheels by parking to close to the kerb. You see, his car is his pride and joy; a tuned-up Ford RS.

So now my story starts, it's a wet Thursday, I'm still out of work, and I'm feeling really down. I've got to go into town, and it's a ten minute walk to the bus-stop where there is no shelter. The bus timetable is a fairytale book, so I'll no doubt have to wait anything up to an hour for the bus.

So mistake number one.

My Garry's car is in the garage, and his keys are on the bed-side table. It seemed such an innocent thing to do. Yes, I knew it was wrong. And yes, I realise now how serious it is driving without insurance.

But, at the time, as I blasted that guided missile through the B roads of Leicestershire, it felt sublime. All my depressive feelings melted away, and I began to sing along to the New Model Army CD.

So as I entered the outskirts of Leicester, I dropped down to the speed limits, conscious I couldn't afford to attract any police attention. I arrived at the supermarket, and just as I was about to turn into the entrance to the car-park, a car coming down the road from the apposing direction, cut across the road directly in front of me, causing me to take avoiding action.

I swerved left, they swerved right, and we both stopped. Our cars hadn't touched, but it really shook me up. As I glared across, the woman in the other car gestured I should go first. This was really the only option, as I'd been slightly ahead of her when we'd both turned in, so my car was blocking her passage.

So up comes mistake number two.

I was frustrated and angry, and so wanting to show this stupid woman just what kind of powerful car she was dealing with. I floored the accelerator, and dumped the clutch. Big mistake!

I'd been in the car as a passenger when my Garry had done this very same manoeuvre. And when he did it, it would pin me into my seat, whilst the car would take-off like a scalded cat in a cloud of tyre smoke, and screeching noise.

Well I got the tyre smoke, and screeching noise. And I guess it took-off like a scalded cat. But as it threw me back into my seat, the steering-wheel was wrenched from my grip. The car shot off across the car-park, narrowly missing a parked car. I did my best to re-gain control, and I hit the brakes.

But as the car skidded to a standstill, there was an almighty bang. The front right-hand side of the car leapt skyward, and then came down to a standstill with a sickening crash. I wasn't hurt; it wasn't as if I'd collided with a wall or anything which had brought the car to a sudden halt throwing me forwards. 

But I knew by the noise and way the car had leapt into the air, that the front wheel had sustained damage; but to what degree I could only imagine. My previous mood of anger had now been substituted by despair, resulting in me dropping my face in my hands as I sobbed onto the steering-wheel.

And then through my fit of self-pity, I heard a voice accompanied by a rapping on the driver's window. I couldn't hear or understand what he was saying, so I dropped the glass.

"Are you alright? Do you need an ambulance?"

It was the supermarket security man.

I gathered my wits, and through tear filled eyes replied, "I'm sorry. I think my foot slipped off the clutch pedal. I haven't hurt anyone? Have I?"

"No. But are you alright?"

"Yes. I think so. I'm just a little shaken up. But something exploded in front of my car!"

"Yes, you ran into a raised kerb. It's one of the shrub planters. You're not the first one to miss seeing them. But I've never seen anyone run into one at such speed. I guess you're new to the car and it ran away with you?"

"It's my husband's car. I rarely drive it."

"Well you won't be driving it much more today. It's totally destroyed your wheel. And the explosion you heard. That was your tyre exploding. It sure went with a bang."

As I realised the damage I'd done, and the consequent cost. The repercussions that awaited me when Garry found out struck home. My face dropped into my hands and I again started to sob.

"Hey now, come on. It's only a wheel and tyre. Nobody was hurt. A couple of pages of insurance forms, and it'll be good as new."

I tried to reply, but the despair I was feeling robbed me of rational responses.

"Come-on love. It's not that bad. Look, you get out and go get yourself a nice cup of tea in the cafeteria, and leave me the keys. I'll park the car up, and fit your spare wheel for you."

So without thinking about the consequences of just handing the keys to my Garry's precious car over to a total stranger, I climbed out, and made my way to the cafeteria in the supermarket. I'm not sure how long I sat staring in my empty coffee-cup, but I was in a world of my own; trying to think how I could get myself out of this mess.

I was suddenly brought back to reality as the security man dropped the keys on the table, "Ok luv, it's done. But you'll have to take it steady. The spare on that thing of yours is only rated at forty miles per hour, and it's only got a legal range of fifty miles."

I was shaken from my trance, and I tried to get my head around what he was saying, "I don't understand. Is there a problem with the spare wheel?"

"Not a problem as such. But like lots of high powered cars, the alloy wheels and tyres are too wide to fit into the space where the spare is supposed to fit. So they use a silly little get-you-home wheel and tyre."

"Oh shit!"

"Pardon."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't swear. But what you're saying is my husband will know instantly as soon as he sees the car?"

"Well yes. It stands out a mile. Is that a problem?"

"Yes. It's his car, and since I damaged one of his wheels two years ago, he's taken me off the insurance, and won't let me drive it. So I'll have to get a new wheel and tyre today without him knowing."

"Well if you're trying to get it back to how it was without your husband knowing? A new wheel and tyre would be just as obvious."

I hadn't thought about that, and so now knowing there was no way out, my face went back into my open palms, and I resumed my crying. I was oblivious as to whether he was still there, or not. 

But after what must have been a good five minutes or more, I heard him say, "I'm sorry luv, but if I can't be of any more help, I'd better go and get on with my duties."

I looked up, and through tear soaked eyes, said, "Thank you for your help, but I'll be alright. You just go; I don't want to get you into any trouble."

So off he went, and I just sat there not knowing what to do next. I guess I'd been sitting there for over half an hour, when I noticed the same man walking back towards my table. I lifted my head, and tried to put on a brave smile; but I'm sure it must have looked fake.

He opened with, "I've just had an idea." He had a big beaming smile on his face, and he looked excited. "I've got a pal who works in a scrap yard. Only these days, they don't call them scrap yards, they're called re-claimed parts suppliers. I could give him a call, and he might be able to find a replacement wheel and tyre."

He obviously saw my confused expression, as I still couldn't see how that would help.

So he continued with, "The wheel won't be brand-new, and if he can find one with the same make of tyre, your husband will never know it's not the original one. Even if the tyre is slightly more or even less worn, I'm sure he won't notice." 

As the logic of his idea sunk in, my face must have lit-up, because he continued with, "Wow! That's better. I knew there'd be a pretty face in there somewhere once you started to smile. So do you want me to give Ken a call?"

"Oh yes please."

And then as I remembered my financial situation, my smile must have dropped as I asked, "But how much will it cost?"

"Hey come-on. You can't let that smile go so quickly. What ever it costs, it'll be a lot cheaper than buying a new one. Hang on I'll give him a call. Oh, do you know what year the car is?"

"No. I think all the documents for it are at home."

"It's ok; I'll get all I need from the registration plate. I'll go out to the car park and call Ken from there. Back soon."

His soon seemed like an age, but when he came back, I could tell from his face, the news wasn't going to be good.

"I've spoken to Ken, and he's checked on the computer around all the yards in Leicestershire, but you're out of luck. The nearest one is in a yard up near Derby. But again, there's a problem."

"What?"

"They've got all four wheels and tyres, but he's phoned the guy, he'll only sell them as a set."

"How much?"

"Five Hundred."

"Oh my God!"

"That's cheap really. I mean, the new tyres alone would be around two hundred apiece. And new wheels would be about the same. So a set of four would be over a grand and a half."

"But I can't get anywhere near five hundred without my husband knowing."

"Well there's only one way I can think of then."

"And that is?"

"Drive up to his yard, let him see you in person, and explain how desperate you are."

"But what good will that do?"

"Don't underestimate your charms. A pretty girl like you could sweet-talk a man into anything."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Hey don't get up-tight! I wasn't suggesting anything untoward. I just mean, a man will bend over backwards to help a pretty girl in distress."

"Well the idea is no good anyway, I couldn't even think of driving as far as Derby; especially as you said that wheel isn't safe over fifty miles."

"Well the wheel would probably get you there and back; I think the mileage is just a safety get-out clause they use to cover themselves. But are you saying you couldn't drive that far?"

"I told you, I'm not insured."

"Well yes. I know you shouldn't be on the road at all; but I thought being as you drove here."

"And that was a mistake."

"Look, I know this is a long shot, but from where I'm looking, you don't have many options open to you."

"But all the way to Derby, what if I get pulled up by the police?"

"Well like I said a second ago, that pretty smile can make men go the extra mile for you."

"Maybe, but it wouldn't stop a policeman from booking me."

"No; but my shift ends in twenty minutes, and my insurance covers me to drive any other vehicle. So I could drive you up there. It isn't strictly legal, because really speaking I need your husband's permission. But with you in the car, I'm sure the plods wouldn't think it out of order."

"What? You'd drive me?"

"If you want me to?"

"Why?"

"Your smile."

"No seriously."

"I am being serious. You must be very naïve if you haven't yet realised how far men will go just to please a pretty girl like you."

"And what do you expect to get out of it?"

"A smile, a thank you, and if I'm very lucky, maybe a kiss."

"But I'm married."

"So? I'll settle for just the smile and the thank you."

"I'm not sure. I mean, don't get me wrong, but if I won't even promise you a kiss, I can't understand why you'd go out of your way for me."

"Sometimes, just feeling good about knowing you've helped someone is its own reward."

It all sounded innocent, and everything he'd done so far had been over and above what you might expect from a total stranger. But I still felt a little uneasy about accepting his offer. But contrary-wise, had I got any alternative?

"Well thank you. So long as you don't mind me not promising you any, you know. Sexual favours in return. Then I'll be grateful for your help."

"No conditions, no ulterior motives, and definitely no payment in-kind. Now you wait here, I'll go and hand over to the next shift, and be back in ten."

"Thank you."

So fifteen minutes later, he is walking towards the table where I'm sitting. And he's now dressed in his own clothes, that is as apposed to his store security officer's uniform. And for the first time, I see what a hunk of a man he is. His age is probably around the same as my Garry. And he's also of a similar height. But this man is broader in the shoulders and a good deal tighter in the tummy. Not that my Garry is fat, but he has started to develop a bit of a beer belly. But I shouldn't be noticing these kinds of features on other men, so I'll get back to the story.

So within a few minutes of his shift ending, we are on our way, with Ralph (the supermarket security man) behind the wheel of my husband's car. And just to keep my story accurate, as we'd both closed our doors, and he'd been busy adjusting his seat position, I'd reached across, taken his face in my hands, and kissed him. I hadn't planned to do it, but it was a sudden impulse as I looked across to him.

His reaction had been one of surprise. But even as he realised what I was doing, there was no return kiss to capitalise on my moment of vulnerability. Just a, "Wow! See I told you that fate has a way of re-paying good deeds."

"I know you deserve more than that, but I am happily married."

"I understand. Don't worry. And let's see the pretty smile you're going to use to win-over this scrap-yard man."

I smiled, and it wasn't faked. By now I was beginning to think maybe things would come right.

On the journey, we talked about general things, and at no time did he steer the conversation to anywhere that made me feel threatened. And so eventually, the car was parked in front of an old barn-type building with Andy's Used Car Parts painted on the side in big letters.

As we both got out of the car Ralph said, "Ok, let's go find Andy, and remember the big smile."

Inside the building he asked the man behind the counter, "Is Andy around?"

"He's out the back, hang on I'll go and get him."

We waited and in a minute or so the original man returned, followed by a man who looked about my dad's age (fiftyish). 

As Andy saw Ralph he said, "I guess you're Ken. Come to buy the full set after all?"

"Wrong on both counts. I'm Ralph, Ken's mate. He was asking on my behalf. Or to be more accurate, on behalf of this lovely young girl."

"So I got your name wrong, but you've come for the set of alloys for an RS?"

"Well not really. You see, Cheryl here is in a real pickle."

"I hope you're not gonna give me a sob story."

"Well I was hoping you'd cut her a little slack."

By now my smile was gone, and I guess I was on the verge of tears.

Andy turned around and began to walk away, but as he reached the end of the serving counter, he paused, lifted up the section which allows access, and said, "Come on then, let's talk in my office."

We followed him through the stores, and outside across the yards to a Porta-Cabin. He sat one side of an old wooden desk, and Ralph and I sat the other. He said, "Come on then; let's hear it."

"All I know is, she drove into the car park of the supermarket where I work as a security guard, like she was being chased by the hounds of hell. But it turns out, it's hubby's car. And reading between the lines, it's my guess he's not the type to mop her tears and say never mind. I was just hoping if you saw the state she's in you might take pity on her. She's got to replace the wheel and tyre with one he won't think has been swapped."

"Well before we get into any negotiations, I guess I need to see what boots he's running and if the ones I've got match-up. You can wait here luv. We'll go take a look at your car."

So I sat and waited, and I'm guessing Ralph pleaded my case to Andy whilst they checked the wheels out. When they arrived back, Andy said, "I must be getting soft in my old age."

My heart lifted, and I asked excitedly, "Does that mean you're going to help me?"

"I'll probably never get a buyer for the three odd wheels I'll have left, and the tyre is the wrong make. So I've got to take one off another rim. But yes. Give me two hundred, and it's yours."

A lump came to my throat. He appeared to be, as Ralph had put it earlier, bending over backwards to help me. But even this wasn't enough to get me out of the hole I was in. And I hardly dare ask for what was needed.

He saw my look and asked, "Well? Ok, maybe you don't think I've earned a kiss like Ralph here. But I at least thought you'd be happy."

"I'm sorry. Please I am grateful. But I haven't got that kind of money."

"No problem. There's a hole-in-the-wall machine at the garage just half a mile up the road."

I dropped my head as I said, "I daren't take money out of our account. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I shouldn't have come."

"I see. So how were you thinking of paying?"

"I don't know. I never thought that far ahead. I'm sorry I wasted both of your times."

Andy and Ralph looked at each other, and Ralph said, "I could maybe stump up fifty, so long as she can pay me back."

"That's not the point. If she's strapped for cash now, finding two hundred notes to pay us back will only make her life more difficult. And even if you trust her; I've got a business to run. It's one thing going the extra mile to help, but two hundred notes is real money in anyone's book."

Ralph looked at me, "Sorry. I didn't realise your situation was so dire."

Then Andy turned in his seat, lent over to a filing cabinet, and pulled out a book. As he passed it to me he said, "Look. Don't go getting the wrong idea. It's all above board."

As I took hold, I realised it was a photograph album. As I opened it and began to turn the pages, I could see photo after photo of girls. One or two were naked, some were topless, but most of them just in swimwear or underwear. But even the naked girls were posed discreetly, with hands or other objects covering their strategic places. I guess I understood within the first two pages, that he was suggesting this as a way of me paying for the wheel, so that is why I kept turning the pages, to see how involved this would be. And completely out of what I'd have thought my reaction would be, I placed the book down and asked, "Did you take all of those?"




Regrets



"Yes. They're not porno. They're real glamour. Nothing dirty."

"Yes, I can see that. And they're really quite good. But some of them are quite daring."

"But would you consider posing?"

"I'm not a model."

"Don't be silly. You're as good as any model I've ever worked with."

"So are you saying you'd pay me to model?"

"Two hundred an hour. That's what I pay the agency. So an hours modelling would cover the cost of your wheel and tyre."

"Would you expect me to pose naked?"

"Well if you're only interested in the tame swimwear, that wouldn't pay as well. So it would equate to around four hours. But as that would cost me more to hire studio time, I guess you'd have to make it two three hour sessions."

"What? I'd need to come back up here a second time?"

"As I say, unless you agree to the nude posing. I mean, it's all done tastefully. Nothing explicit, and all very respectable. Would you consider nude posing?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure if I dare."

"I'm willing to bet you've been topless on a holiday beach."

I blushed, and then said, "Only because my Garry wanted me to."

"And was it as bad as you'd feared?"

"I guess not. But there wasn't anyone around who knew us."

"And these photos I take are my personal hobby. Nobody but me ever sees them."

"If I say yes, how long will it take? I've got to get home before my Garry comes home from work."

"Oh, it won't be today, I've got to book the studio, and that's always fully booked for at least a week ahead. So if you agree, I'd need to book the next slot, and let you know."

"But I need the car fixing now."

"Yes, I'm trying to fathom that now. I mean not that you sound untrustworthy. And no offence meant. But if I fix your car, then you get cold feet when you've left here; I'm out two hundred quid."

Ralph said, "Can I have a word with Cheryl on our own? I've got an idea, but I'd like her to think it through without the pressure of you being here."

Andy just walked to the door and as he left said, "Give us a nod when you're done."

As the door closed, Ralph asked, "Are you ok with this modelling idea?"

"It's not what I'd want. And in truth, I'm not sure I'll have the nerve to go through with it. But as things stand, I can't think of any alternative."

"Ok, I've an idea of how you can satisfy Andy's need for a guarantee of delivery. And at the same time test your own resolve and determination. But once you go through with it, you'll be completely in his grip. There'll be no backing out."

"Well tell me, I've got to sort this one way or another."

"Ok, tell Andy you'll pose for a couple of shots now and also give him your address; so he'd know where to send them. That way, if you don't fulfil your part and come back to model, he can send the photos to your husband." At this suggestion, a cold chill ran down my spine, and Ralph instantly picked-up on whatever facial expression accompanied it. "Yes, I thought that would be enough to make you think twice. But you see, it also lets you prove to yourself you've got the nerve to go through with it."

"Yes. I see that. But do you think Andy will agree?"

"Well before we worry about that, the main thing is, are you prepared to do it that way?"

"If it's the only way I can get Andy to let me have a wheel; I guess I'll have to."

"So shall we ask him?"

"I guess so."

So Andy was called back in, and Ralph explained his idea to him. Andy looked at me and asked, "So you're happy to let me take the kind of photo that would make your husband blow a fuse?"

"I'd be lying if I said I was happy with the idea. But in the circumstances; as long as it is just taking a photo, and no funny business. Then yes, I'll try my best."

"Well these won't be glamour shots, so I won't need to worry about a studio."

"I guess not."

"And I'll need you to pose in way that shows you're doing it willingly, and one that can't be mistaken for an opportunistic snap taken without your knowledge. It needs to incriminate you. If you see what I mean?"

"Yes, I think so."

"You realise it won't be the tasteful glamour shot I normally take. Will you be ok with that?"

"I don't know. What are you thinking of?"

"Well now you've asked, I don't know. But as you're obviously nervous about posing, I have two suggestions before we start."

"Go on."

At this point he looked at Ralph as he said, "Well first, I know you came with him, but what is he to you; your lover?"

"No. Like he told you earlier, we only met this morning."

"So you'd be just as nervous about posing naked in front of him, as you would me?"

"Oh yes."

"So first off, he should leave before we start."

I looked at Ralph, and although he'd helped me so much already, I knew Andy was right.

"Well yes, I guess so."

But Ralph didn't look happy about this, and he said, "Are you sure you trust him?"

Andy snapped, "And why shouldn't she? And anyway, what difference would you being around make? What makes you so trustworthy?"

"I brought her up here to help her. I'm not the one trying to get her naked."

"So why don't you buy the wheel and tyre for her?"

"I told you I haven't..."

Andy cut him short, "No. I didn't think so. So unless you can add anything useful to her situation, I think you'd be better off taking a walk around the yard."

Ralph looked at me, "Is that what you want me to do? Leave you alone with him?"

I didn't want any of this, but if I had to pose naked, I'd prefer to do it with only one man seeing me. So reluctantly, I said, "Would you mind? I know it seams an ungrateful way to reward your kindness, but I really am nervous about taking my clothes off."

"And you feel safe on your own with him?"

"I'm sure he's trustworthy. And if this is the price I have to pay to cover my stupidity, then so be it."

Ralph didn't reply, he turned on his heals, and looking thoroughly disappointed, he walked to the door. But before he'd opened it and left, Andy said, "Hold up." Then looking at me, "You are gonna do this, aren't you?"

"Yes, I can't see I have any alternative."

"Ok. Well while you're out there, tell Chris I said to get that tyre swapped, and fitted to her car." Then looking at me, "Well that's you out of trouble. I just hope you're going to be worth it." 

And then without acknowledging Andy, Ralph left, closing the door behind him. 

Andy said, "Ok, now the next question. Are you driving?"

"Driving? What d'you mean?"

"I mean did you drive here and are you driving back home?"

"Well no, Ralph drove up here. And unless he's too upset with me, I was hoping he'd drive home."

"So it won't be a problem if you have a drink?"

"Oh no. I don't want a drink. One glass of wine and I go all light headed."

"That's the point." And at that, he pulled open the draw of the filing cabinet behind him and out came two glasses and a bottle of brandy. "You're nervous and this will help calm your nerves." He poured two glasses and passed me one. "Drink this down, and I'll pour you another."

"Oh no, please. I told you. I'm not a drinker."

"So it'll have all the more effect and start working quicker."

"But I don't even like the taste."

"Look luv. If you're gonna play silly buggers, I might as well just call that boy-scout back in, and get him to take you home."

"Please, I'm not trying to be awkward. But I know how drink affects me."

"Ok, if you reckon you can do this sober. Take your knickers off, and show me your twat."

"Oh my god! I thought you said the poses would be tasteful?"

"These aren't poses for me; these are pictures to make sure you come back."

"But I never imagined you'd want to take pictures like that."

"I need to make sure you're not gonna just drive off and leave me two hundred quid down. Now drink that and get those knickers off."

"I. I don't think I'd be able to pose like that, not even if I drank the whole bottle."

He took hold of my hand and put the glass into it, saying, "Drink this, and one more. And then let's see what decision you come to."

He lifted the glass to my lips, and I attempted to drink it. It tasted horrible and after just a couple of sips, I began to cough. I said, "I can't drink any more."

He again lifted the glass to my lips, "Drink."

It took a few minutes, but eventually the glass was empty. But the second I put it down, he re-filled it, lifting it again. "Come-on."

Funnily enough, the second glass was easier, and as I put it back on the table, he said, "Good girl. Now you know what comes next?"

"Please Andy. I've drunk your brandy, but I still can't do that."

"So if you can't do that now. Then I'd be stupid to let Chris fit the wheel and tyre. I mean once you get away from here, there's no way you'll come back. I mean, why would you? There'd be no point if you can't take your knickers down."

"So you're saying I can't have the wheel?"

He filled my glass again, and as he pushed it towards me, he said, "Drink this, and maybe we'll come to a compromise."

"Like what?"

"Drink that first."

I picked up the glass and before I'd realised what I'd done, it was empty. As I put it down, and went to speak, the drinks were now making themselves known by the fuzzy feeling in my head.

It took a few seconds to gather my wits, and then I asked. "What compromise?"

"I'm guessing you'd rather get it over with now, I mean, instead of having to come back and model for me?"

"Well yes. But you said you couldn't book the studio at short notice."

"I can't but if you pose now, here in my office, then maybe we can call that payment?"

This sounded really good. For one, like he said, I'd not have to worry about returning. Two, more importantly, I'd not have to let him know how to contact my husband. And last but not least, now the posing doesn't need to be compromising. 

"Oh yes, I like that idea. And I'll still get my wheel and tyre?"

"Yes. But obviously, because it's only gonna be a makeshift session, y'know, no studio lights, no wardrobe selection, and no hair stylist nor make up; I'll expect you to play ball with me."

By now, the effect of the drink was really kicking in, and I was having difficulty working out what he was saying. Not the words, but exactly what their meaning was.

"I. I'm not sure what you mean by playing ball?"

He got up from his chair and as he arrived at my side of his desk, his hands went under my armpits; lifting me to my feet. And then he guided me across to his big old settee at the other end of his office. As he backed me into a sitting position, he began to undo the buttons on my blouse.

"What you doing?"

"If you're gonna pose, we'll need this off." And he was now easing my arms from my blouse. As he dropped it to one side, he reached over the top of me, and seconds later my bra was removed. I lifted my hands to cover my breasts. But by now he was busy with my belt buckle, and once that was released he did the same to the waist button and zip on my skirt.

As he eased me back into the settee with hands on my shoulders, I said nervously, "What are you doing?"

"I told you, I'm getting you ready to pose. Now lift your bum."

I was confused, but I guessed if I was going to pose nude, even tastefully, my skirt would need to come off. So by arching my back into the settee, I lifted my bottom clear of the seat. And with hands on either side, he pulled the skirt from under me. But it was only as I felt the elasticated waistband of my knickers as they slipped under my bottom, that I was aware he was taking them as well. Leaving me totally naked.

My first reaction was to reach down and try to stop him. But again, before I'd even begun to react physically, I must have mentally accepted their removal as a necessary part of posing for him; and so my resistance was no more than just a token. And yet, it still didn't feel right. 

But as he threw my skirt and knickers aside, he knelt down in front of me, saying, "There you go, that was easy." And as he put a hand on each of my knees, and slowly began to open them, "Now luv, let's see how you're gonna pay for your wheel."

I resisted, but he'd got more strength in his hands than I'd got in my legs. I even uncovered my breasts as I used my hands on his wrists. But with seemingly little effort, he spread my knees wide apart. 

I pleaded, "Please Andy. I'm not ok with this."

He raised his head and looking me directly in the eye, said, "Just be a good girl, and you'll be on your way home before you know it."

"But I don't want you taking photos of me like this."

"I'm not gonna take photos. I haven't even got a camera here."

For a split second I was reassured, but as he said he hadn't even got a camera, my head went into a hyper-spin. I couldn't think what the hell was happening. And then as the only outcome of my current situation hit me, I said, "Oh no. No way. Let go of my knees."

He calmly said, "What's wrong. I'm only looking."

I was still using every ounce of my strength in an attempt to re-close my knees, but then I wondered; was this his compromise? No posing as such, but just him looking at my nakedness. I said, "That's all. I mean you're only gonna look at it?"

"For now, yes. But unless you stop fighting me, I'll up the ante."

"What d'you mean?"

"What I said. Stop fighting me; let your knees drop open. Otherwise, you might find yourself spread out along the settee, while I claim a realistic price for your wheel."

Even in my fuzzy state, it only took a split second to realise he meant he'd fuck me. And it was obvious by the relative strengths I'd encountered already, that he'd get his way. So reluctantly, I removed my hands from his wrists, and relaxed the force in my legs.

As he took his hands from my knees, he sat back on his heals, saying, "Now that's better. What was all the fuss about?" I didn't reply, but I guess without consciously realising it, my hands had gradually returned to covering my breasts. "And you can take them off there. I want to see all of you." I complied instantly; dropping my hands to the seat cushions either side of me. "And your knees, I said I wanted them open." Again I hadn't realised I'd let them close slightly. But I instantly complied, forcing them really wide. "I'm glad you've decided to cooperate. But you do realise that defiance means you've raised the stakes?"

"I. I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean?"

"You have to give willingly, and without hesitation. I told you. Fighting or resistance only ups the ante."

"But I opened my knees. Look. That's as wide open as I can get them."

"Yes. And very nice it is too. But you fought me."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"We'll see. Now edge your bottom forwards to the front of the cushion, lie back, and spread your knees as wide as you can get them."

It only took seconds, and as I lay sprawled back, he said, "Now no fighting it. I'm only gonna lick your twat. But the first sign of resistance and the price of that wheel goes up to a fuck."

So I lay there and watched as his face went down into the valley in between my legs. As his tongue touched, it ignited a flame, which grew in seconds and before he'd been at it a minute, it had spread like a forest fire. Within minutes (I have no idea how many) every part of my being wanted one thing. 

And as he had now manoeuvred me to a lying-down position along the settee, where his mouth suckled from nipple to nipple as two of his fingers fucked my pussy into a lather; I guess his body was thinking the same as mine. Which was confirmed a minute or so later, as he lowered his jeans and boxer-shorts and positioned himself in between my open legs.

As his cock touched my pussy, I heaved up, and he was in. And once he was in, he wasted no time, pounding away like it was the hundred yard sprint. I guess my performance wasn't anything to write home about either. I'd gone from terrified and uncooperative, to compliant but unwilling; right through to a libido-driven auto-pilot. But through all those phases, my senses were dulled by the drink, almost to the point of numbness. 

So although my body relished the fucking he was giving, it didn't respond, not even with my normal subdued sighs and gasps (my Garry didn't like me to make noises whilst we made love. He said it sounded fake; like a whore). But as I say, I had no such problems with Andy; I was too drunk to react. And I guess, as his fuck couldn't have taken more than five minutes, I'd hardly have had chance, even if sober.

But one thing about Andy, which really got my attention, was his cum. Not that I saw it, it was all shot up inside my pussy. But when my Garry cums, he usually pumps four or five times, and then pulls out. And as Garry is the only man I've been with (before today), I was surprised as Andy continued pumping. And I even started counting. I'm sure he pumped at least twelve shots, and with every one, I felt the telltale swell as the cum was pumped through his cock.

So as Andy pulled out, and pulled back up his jeans and boxers (neither of which he'd actually removed from his legs), he left the porta-cabin, saying, "I'll go and see if your cars ready."

I looked around and gathered up my clothes, but look as I may, my knickers were nowhere to be found. So fully dressed, minus knickers, I looked in the mirror on the wall to check my hair, and re-apply a little slap from my handbag. I'd checked my pussy, and apart from the usual juices present after a session (which I cleaned-up with some tissues), the copious amounts of cum didn't appear to be presenting a problem.

But it was as I'd got my skirt pulled up with legs parted, checking the area, that the door flew open without a warning knock. As Andy walked in, followed by Ralph, Andy said, "What's up luv? Want some more, now you've got the taste for it. I'm sure Ralph here wouldn't mind a bash." Then turning and looking at Ralph he continued, "You're welcome to use my couch if you want a fuck before you leave."

I'd obviously dropped my skirt and closed my legs as soon as I'd realised the door was opening. But I guess the effects of the alcohol were not just dulling my senses, they were also slowing my reactions. But even at that, I doubt Ralph got to see my naked legs. And even though I wanted to ask Andy for my knickers, I didn't want Ralph to know I hadn't got any on; so I kept that question back, hoping I'd get a better chance before leaving.

But Ralph didn't reply to Andy's question, he just came over to me, and asked, "Are you ok? I mean, I guess it's obvious what's gone on in here. But I mean, you're ok with that? He didn't rape you?"

Andy snapped in a very angry tone, "Rape! Don't you go saying things of that sort. I explained her situation to her, and she agreed this was the easiest way to settle it." Then looking at me, "Tell him."

Had I been raped? I definitely didn't agree to let him fuck me. In fact, I'm not too sure what I agreed to. And most of what I did, I only did because I knew he'd force me otherwise. I mean he threatened that; hadn't he?

But if I even suggested rape, not only would the wheel he was supplying evaporate, but if the police got involved, my Garry would find out and he'd kill me; or worse.

So against every instinct I felt about telling the truth, I meekly said, "No Ralph, he didn't rape me. I settled the bill for the wheel and tyre, so now I won't need to come back."

"And you're alright? You look a little confused."

"She had a few glasses of brandy. Dutch courage to get over her shyness."

I added, "Yes. But maybe I should have stopped at two, that third one has really made me woozy."

Andy said, "So Ralph, are you gonna claim your reward. The offer is still open if you want me to make myself scarce while you have some sloppy seconds. Mind you, I will say this. She's right about one drink too many, it's a bit like fucking a blow-up doll." 




Regrets



I felt so low, not only had I got two strangers talking about sex with me as, sloppy seconds, he was as good as saying it hadn't been worth the effort he'd put in to get into my knickers.

Ralph said, "Do you have to be so crude? You took what you wanted. Can't you be satisfied with that without humiliating the girl? Come on Cheryl, let's get you home."

"Don't be so sensitive. She knew when she let you drive her all the way up here that she'd have to fuck. It stands to reason. You don't go shopping and knowingly leave your wallet at home. She knew if push came to shove, she'd have to use her twat to pay the bill. So you being the Sir Galahad and not taking your rightful reward don't impress nobody."

By now, Ralph had his arm around my shoulders and was escorting me down the step from the porta-cabin. But we both heard Andy's last remark. "If you change your mind on the way home, she'll be no problem. She hasn't got any knickers on."

Ralph said to me quietly, "Ignore him, if I'd realised he was that sort, I'd have looked for a different scrap-yard."

"It's alright. What's done is done. And providing we can get my husband's car back where it belongs without him knowing, I'll be ok." 

On the drive back home, the atmosphere was very subdued, and I'd dropped back in my trance-like state. It was only as we reached the outskirts of Leicester and I began to recognise where I was, that things began to come back to me.

And then I heard Ralph say, "Ah, are you awake?"

"Awake? I haven't been sleeping."

"Well I don't know where you were. But you weren't here on this planet. Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"You're not fine. But will you be ok to drive back to your house from the supermarket. Or do I need to take you home?"

"Would you?"

"Yes if that's what you want. But we'd better re-fill the tank, after a journey that far, your husband's likely to notice."

Again my heart sank, I knew I hadn't got enough money for the amount of fuel it would need. "I don't know how to put this."

"I know. You're going to say you haven't got enough money."

"Well yes, but..." Then I hesitated, "I mean, did you want to..."

He held his hand up to stop me as he interrupted, "A thank you and kiss will do. For today anyway. Maybe once the drink has worn off, in a few days time. If you still feel I'm owed when you're sober, then I'd be more than willing to take a reward, whatever you're offering. But for now, let's get you home safe, and hope hubby doesn't realise you've been drinking."

I lent across and kissed him on his cheek, "Thank you."

So he stopped at a filling station, topped-up the tank, and drove me to our house. Where he reversed the car into our garage, leaving it in the same position as it had been when my Garry left it. And then as he closed our garage doors, he said, "Can I use your phone to call a taxi?"

"Oh god! I'm sorry. I never even thought about you having to get back."

"Well I'm sure you don't want me here to meet your husband."

"No. Oh I am so sorry. I've been so much trouble to you. I know I owe you a great deal. Maybe one day I'll be able to show you."

"Just tell me you're ok, and give me a smile."

I dashed across to him, and right there in the front garden, without thinking about any neighbours who might have been watching, I planted a big kiss on his lips.

"So can I come in and use your phone?"

As I turned and made my way to the door I said, "Come on, it's in the hall."

So he phoned a taxi, and then whilst we waited, he said, "If I was you, I'd start getting some coffee into my system, maybe it'll help sober you up a little before hubby comes home." And then handing me a packet of extra-strong mints he'd taken from his pocket, "Here, I picked these up when I got the petrol. Pop one in your mouth before you give him his welcome home kiss. It might disguise the smell of the brandy."

As I took them from him, I again went up onto my toes and gave him a kiss. "I will pay you back." Then seeing a glint in his eye, I qualified that with, "The money, that is. I mean I can't have you been out of pocket as well as taking up your whole day."

"There's no need."

"No. I insist. Where should I contact you? At the supermarket?" 

"Perhaps better not. You know how tongues start wagging. What if I give you my mobile number?"

"Ok. It might take me a day or two, to get the money together. But I will pay you."

He just handed me a piece of paper, and said, "Well here's my number, but there really is no hurry. And if you find it's more of a problem than you thought, I won't hold you to repaying."

I took the slip of paper he'd written his number on, and again, I kissed him. He looked into my eyes with a fixed glare. I asked, "What?"

"Can I kiss you back?"

There was something about his look that I wasn't sure about, but disregarding this, I said, "Yes."

His arms encircled me, and he drew me up to himself. Our lips met; his tongue entered my lips, and as it touched my tongue, my body shook. For the next two or three minutes, my passion built into an inferno, as our tongues entwined. And I still wonder now, how far that embrace would have led if the noise of the taxi outside blowing his horn hadn't intervened. 

But thankfully it did, and on hearing it, Ralph put me down, saying, "I'd better go."

Seconds later he was on his way. I went back out to the garage to give the car one more check-over, and then I followed Ralph's advice regarding the coffee as I tried to put the day's events out of my mind.

My Garry came home as usual, and left for work the next morning, without him picking-up on my intoxicated state, or the fact I driven his car.

The next event took me totally by surprise the following morning, as I went out to put a bag into our bin at the side of our garage. I guess I blame what happened now on my attitude some six months ago. 

You see it had been after one of Garry's tantrums, where he'd started in beating on me, and I'd run out of the front door. Garry had caught me, and dragged me back inside. But unbeknown to us, the neighbour living directly opposite had seen what had taken place, and phoned the police.

So the first thing we knew was when they arrived at our door. They insisted on seeing me, and although Garry had knocked me about a little, there were no obvious outward signs. So when I confirmed Garry's story about us just playing a childish game of chase, as part of our love-making, the police left without any repercussions. 

But the attitude I was referring to, was mine the next day. I went across to the neighbour, and told him in no uncertain terms to keep his nose out of our business. He made excuses about just being a vigilant neighbourhood watch member, and how he was doing it for my own good. But the foul mouthful I left him with, made sure he was one man who would never have me on his Christmas card list.

But I guess you're wondering what any of that has to do with this morning's events. Well yesterday I had kissed Ralph in broad daylight in our front garden, and Mr Granger (our vigilant neighbour) must have seen me. Because as I went out to put a bag in our bin at the side of our garage on the Friday morning (the day after my car accident and trip to Derby), I heard someone calling.

"EXCUSE ME. Mrs Trent. Can I have a word?"

I turned to see him scampering across the road, and making his way up our drive towards me. I curtly asked, "Yes. What is it?"

"It's a little proposition I want to put to you."

"What?

"I've been taking some photos, I wondered if you wanted to come and take a look at them?"

"No. Why would I?"

"I think you should. I mean if you're not interested, I can just pop them in an envelope and send them to your husband at the shop where he works. He does still work at the local hardware store? Silly me, of course he does. I saw him in there yesterday while you were out driving with your new friend in your husband's car."

My mind was racing, he'd obviously seen me going out in Garry's car, and Ralph driving it back and parking it in our garage. 

I tried to bluff my way out, "Oh you mean Ralph, Garry's brother. Yes he drove me to see Garry's mom. She wasn't feeling well."

I thought the connection to Garry would dispel any sexual element to the kiss I'd given Ralph (if he'd seen it).

But he just turned around and as he started to walk back to his house, he said casually, "Ok, I'll go and pop them in an envelope, and then we'll see if you get another beating in a couple of days. Oh, and don't worry. This time, I won't call the police to help you."

I didn't know if he was bluffing, but the last thing I wanted to do was to admit that anything was going on. So I thought I'd sit it out and see what he did. I went back into my house and from behind the curtains; I watched to see if he was going to carry-out his threat. And sure enough, after nearly ten minutes, he was walking down his front path, with a large buff envelope in his hand. 

I dashed out of the door and ran across the road to intercept him, "Let me see that?"

He stopped, turned around, and just handed me the envelope. I first looked at the address; it was addressed to my husband, via the shop where he worked on the main street. I felt through the paper of the envelope, and sure enough, it did feel like there were several thicker cards inside. These could indeed be photos. And then I got an idea.

I held it up just out of his reach, with two hands, and fingers positioned ready to rip it in half, "So what if I rip it up?"

"You can if you want to. I'll just print some more. But if you want the originals deleting from my PC, you'll need to come to my house."

"And then what?"

"Persuade me to delete them."

"How?"

"Use your imagination."

I did use my imagination. And as he was a retired teacher, and now an old man, who had to be at least sixty years of age. The thought made my flesh cringe, "You dirty old sod."

"I'm not the one who has been caught playing around. So, what's it to be, are you going to give me that envelope back, so I can post it?"

"Fuck you."

"Ok, I'll go and print another set, and I'll post it the first time you go out."

"No, wait. If I was to come to your house, what would you expect me to let you do to me?"

"Let me see. I expect your attitude to change, and you to do what you just said."

"What did I just say?"

"Well I distinctly heard you say you'd fuck me."

"Oh no. I'm not going that far. I'm married."

"You should have thought of that before you started carrying on with that man."

"That man was helping me. And the only thing I did with him was to kiss him to say thank you."

"Well tell your husband that."

"No look please. You know what my Garry's temper is like."

Just at that moment another neighbour came into sight, walking on our side of the road. Mr Granger said, "We shouldn't be discussing this out here. Come back to my house, and we can get this over with." 

So reluctantly, I decided I'd have to follow him. Not to go back to his house to be fucked; but just to complete the discussion in private. 

So as we walked together back to his house, we passed the other neighbour, and both said hello. And then as I followed him in through his front door, into his hallway, he closed the door behind us. I'd stood to one side, waiting for him to pass me and lead the way. But as he got level, he grabbed my upper arms, and pinned me back against the wall. He began to force kisses on my lips, and one of his hands started to grope my breasts. I struggled, but he managed to get the front of my blouse open by pulling at it. And then he was tugging at my bra, and I felt that go slack as something gave-way. Now his hands were groping from naked breast to breast, and I was thumping on his back for all I was worth with my one free hand. 

He obviously thought he'd got the upper-hand, and I guess I was beginning to think the same. He then released my other arm, and used that hand instead to reach up under my skirt, grabbing a handful of my crotch. This triggered some kind of sudden surge of strength in me. I managed to bring one hand around and across, landing a moderately heavy blow to his ear. I say moderately heavy, but it was delivered with all the force I could muster, and it was enough to make him wince.

"You little bitch."

But in the same way as his hand up my skirt had triggered a reaction from me, punching him in the ear must have unleashed a violence in him. And a split second after he'd shouted abuse at me, I felt an unbelievable pain. And with that pain, I was pulled off my balance. I fell backwards, being dragged by my hair. My hands instantly reached up above and behind my head, to clasp around the wrists of his hands.

I clung onto his wrist for all I was worth, attempting to alleviate at least some of the pain as he dragged me the length of his hallway, and through into his lounge at the back of his house. From the first second he'd grabbed my hair, I'd started screaming, and in the few seconds it took him to drag me from his hall until he dumped me on my back on the settee in his lounge, I screamed ever last gasp of breath from my lungs. As he dropped me onto the settee, and as the searing pain from my scalp receded, the relief was overwhelming. At this point I stopped my screaming, but only to replace it with a pitiful sobbing. 

Whereas he was still in full Neanderthal mode. The instant he'd dropped me, he'd then stood back, and dropped his trousers, then slowly lowered his underpants to the floor. He may have been an old man, but his cock was obviously still in good working order. And as if to prove it, it stuck up proudly from his crotch, proclaiming itself ready for action. I saw his hands approaching my legs, but it wasn't until they disappeared up under my skirt and I felt them tugging at the waistband of my knickers, that I found the wherewithal to react. 

My hands took his wrists as they appeared from under my skirt, and I pulled with all my strength. But although this neighbourhood busybody was only a retired old school teacher, his strength overwhelmed mine with ease. Hence the knickers just kept sliding down my legs, and as he threw them aside, he wrenched his wrists from my hands.

His hand then approached my legs, and in a desperate attempt to prevent him from taking hold of them, I kicked my legs about violently. He was in no hurry to grab them, but stood patiently waiting for his opportunity. And as he saw a momentary pause in the movement of my right leg, he struck, taking hold of my ankle. I still kept thrashing my left leg around, but he obviously knew I'd eventually run out of steam, so he again just stood patiently waiting. 

It was around this point it became obvious to me, that my fate was sealed, and I had no way of overpowering him. So I stopped the kicking, and just lifted my left leg high and wide. As he took hold of my ankle, I pleaded, "Please Mr Granger. It's obvious I can't fight you off. But you've got such a big cock. Please, will you lick me up; otherwise you'll rip me apart."

In truth, his cock was no bigger than my Garry's. And as up to now, this was only the third rampant cock I'd ever seen; I wasn't really in a position to know big from little. But I did know one thing; men always have a paranoia about cock size. And from what I could tell so far, he'd obviously believed my exaggeration. Because he stood there looking so smug as he inspected my naked crotch. And then after a good twenty or more seconds, he said, "It's a bit on the hairy side for licking."

"Please, I'm begging you. Or use some kind of lubricant on your fingers to get me worked-up. A cock that big will tear me if you take me dry."

He released my ankles, and as he stood back I dropped them to the floor, closing my legs at the same time.

He arrogantly said, "If you want me to lick you, open your legs, and hold them up with your hands under your knees." I instantly did as he'd asked, lifting, and spreading as wide as I could. "That's better." And then he went down onto his knees, and just before his tongue touched, he said, "Relax; you're going to enjoy this."

His tongue touched the soft flesh at the tops of my legs, and my body shook. It took all my resolve to keep my head, and focus on what I'd got to do. So as he got into his stride (so to speak), I drew my knees up as high and wide as I could manage. But instead of letting my legs point to the ceiling, I kept my knees bent, so that my feet were hovering just above the head working feverishly on my crotch. I waited, and I waited. How long I waited, I'm not sure. But as he appeared to know what he was doing in the pussy licking department, I was beginning to think my resolve would falter, and hence all would be lost.

But then I saw his head starting to lift, so I summoned up every ounce of courage and determination. And as he eased his face up from my crotch, and looked my way, I let my legs spring out. My heals dug into his neck, just below his chin, and as I heaved so hard, it pushed me back into the arm at the end of the settee. But from then onwards, as my legs sprang out like a coiled spring, my feet tipped him off balance, throwing him into a heap on his back on the floor.

I jumped to my feet, and grabbed the nearest movable piece of furniture. It happened to be the piano stool, a heavy and very solidly made one. So as I threw it down on top of him, sheet music flew in all direction from the seat base. I didn't stop to see if it had struck a damaging blow, and neither did I stop to collect my shoes nor knickers. In fact I was out of the room, down the hall, and through the front door before I even thought about pulling the two sides of my blouse together.

And even then I didn't stop running, I just grabbed the loose material from either side, and held them to my chest as I ran across the road to my house as fast as I could.

Back at my house I hurriedly got changed, and not knowing what else to do, or who else to turn to, I phoned Ralph. We arranged to meet a couple of streets away, as I didn't dare risk him coming back to my house. As he pulled up alongside where I was waiting, I got into his car. As soon as he drove off, I started to tell him about what had just taken place. 

Once he'd got the whole story from me, he thought for a while, and then said, "It looks like there are only two options open to you. One, you go back, and let him have his way with you. But make sure you get to see him delete the files not just from his PC, you need to see him delete the ones from the memory card on his camera as well."

"I know things went further than they should have done yesterday, but I don't want anything of that sort to happen again. I think it might be better if I just tell Garry and take the punishment I deserve."

"Well before you go getting into hot water with your husband, there is option two."

"What is option two?"

"I could go around to his place now, and put the fear of god into the bastard. Make sure he's too frightened to spill the beans."

"Would that work?"

"I don't know, but if it doesn't, it's no worse than you just coming clean."

"I don't approve of violence, you won't actually hurt him?"

"No. I just thought him being old; maybe the threat would be enough to deter him."

"I guess it's worth a try."

So I was dropped off in the same street that he'd picked me up from, and whilst I walked home, Ralph drove ahead of me, and called on Mr Granger. As I arrived at the end of our street, I saw Ralph's car driving away from Mr Granger's house. I felt a certain self-satisfied mood descend over me as I walked those last few steps back to my house, knowing that Mr Granger had now been made to feel as threatened as he'd made me feel earlier.

But the feeling didn't last. As I approached our drive, Mr Granger called across the road to me, "YOU STUPID BITCH. YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET DOING THAT."




Regrets



Michael wiped his hands on his jeans. Sucked in a few deep breaths. He waited until his nerves calmed. He pulled the double glass doors open. He entered the high school office; most of the secretaries had gone home. Tomorrow is the last day of school. Michael walked up to the counter, wide and shiny as a new penny, when Mrs. Harbaugh noticed him. 

"What may I do for you, Michael?" 

"Nothing really." 

She smiled politely as she always had for the last four years he's attended school. Her fingers went back to the typewriter, and the sound of the IBM Selective soon filled the office with its rhythmical tap-tapping. Suddenly, the typewriter stopped as though someone lifted the tone arm from a record. Mrs. Harbaugh looked over the top of her glasses. She took them off, and gently chewed on one earpiece before allowing them to settle across her chest, suspended by a delicate metal chain. 

"Michael?" 

Gathering strength, he didn't know he own, he felt the rock in his stomach grow to the size of Mount Everest. He glanced around the office once more and said, "Is Kathy working?" 

"Ahh, I understand now," she said. Mrs. Harbaugh smiled knowingly. "She's in the back, refilling the Mimeograph machines with paper. She shouldn't be gone long." 

Michael looked down at the floor and then turned on his heel. "I see." So close... But rules being rules, no one, except those girls who volunteered to help the office secretaries had any business behind the counter. 

He took a few steps toward the glass doors when he heard Mrs. Harbaugh's chair roll across the floor. "Tomorrow is the last day of school, and gradation is Sunday. I can't see how it would hurt if I let you go back and say 'hello' to her." 

Michael's smile lit up the office. Mrs. Harbaugh opened the half-door that separated the lobby and the offices to the rear. She held the door open. "Go ahead, it's okay." 

He walked cautiously down the narrow hallway that led to the miscellany of small offices. He could hear some singing as he approached the last opened door. Michael leaned against the doorjamb, listening, watching, and smiling at Kathy. She didn't know he was there, her hands busy restocking the shelves above the Mimeograph machines. She reached high, balancing on her tip-toes, to place another ream of paper on the top shelf, and the hem of her skirt rose to mid-thigh. Her black hair hung luxuriously over her shoulders and midway down her back. 

When she turned, her hair billowed out, and then she caught a handful of errant strands and looped them behind her left ear. That's when she noticed Michael in the doorway. 

"Oh! Geeze, you startled me," Kathy said. 

"I didn't mean to." 

Kathy smiled, but it didn't last. "Does Mrs. Harbaugh know you're back here?" 

"Yeah, she said it was okay." 

"You're staring at me." Kathy blushed. "Is there something you want?" 

Michael wiped his hands on the back of his jeans—a habit of his when he's nervous. He stood and admired Kathy. She had to be the most beautiful girl he had ever known. No one came close to Kathy. But for Michael, she might as well have been on the moon. He and Kathy came from different places. They had different values. He always figured Kathy wouldn't give him the time of day if she were pushing a wheel barrel full of alarm clocks. 

Kathy had it all. Breasts that were firm, perky, and tented all the shirts she wore so they'd grab your attention from across the gym. Her legs were long and slender; athletic. She had the perfect smile with glowing white teeth. She had been the head majorette all though school. She only dated the football studs like Tony. 

"Michael, is there something you want? You're freaking me out a bit." 

He thought and while he did, his eyes followed her every move. This is the time. Graduation will be in a few days. Then... His lifestyle, his upbringing was so completely different from Kathy's. Her parents had money; his mom and dad both worked to put food on the table. 

"Kathy, there's something I'd like to ask you." 

She slipped a ream of paper on the table's edge then stopped and looked at Michael. 

"Okay?" 

"I'd...it's kinda hard to ask." 

"Ask me what?" 

"I'd like to kiss you." 

Kathy's face flushed. "Are you serious?" 

"As a matter of fact, I am quite serious." 

"I'm dating Tony. Everyone knows that." 

"I do, too. I'm not asking for a date. Just a kiss." 

Kathy walked over and stood a few feet from Michael. "Why?" 

Michael moved into the small office. He looked around to be sure Mrs. Harbaugh was out of sight. 

"'Cause if I didn't ask, I'd regret not asking you the rest of my life. I know you'll more than likely say no, but at least I'll know for sure one way or the other. But most importantly, I asked. I'll never regret asking, but I damn will regret if I don't." 

Kathy reached around Michael and pushed the door so it almost closed, leaving a small gap between it and the doorjamb. "I'm gonna tell you no." 

Michael nodded. "That's fine. But I did ask." When he reached for the doorknob, he felt her hand touch his. 

"That took a lot of nerve to come in here and ask me that. I don't understand." 

"Mark Twain said it best." 

"I'm not much into reading." 

"He said, 'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowline. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.'" 

They stood beside each other in silence—the sounds of Mrs. Harbaugh's typewriter in the distance. Kathy closed the door a bit more. "He said that?" 

"Sure did. I'm not disappointed that you told me 'no.' But, I'd be disappointed the rest of my life if I hadn't asked. Right or wrong. Up or down. Yes or no. Either way, I'd know the answer to my question. I'll never worry about what you might have said. I know the answer." 

She touched his fingertips and when she did, Michael jumped. 

"Okay." 

"Okay what?" 

She shrugged. "Okay, let's throw off the bowline this one time, I'll let you kiss me." 

Kathy moved closer. Waist to waist. She smiled. "Go a head. You wanted to; now kiss me." 

His fingers moved along her arm, past her elbow, they stopped and teased the shoulder strap of her bra, tracing its outline beneath her white shirt. Kathy closed her eyes; her head tilted a bit to the right. Her lips parted slightly. Michael's hand cupped the nape of her neck. He leaned down to place a kiss on her soft, velvety pink lips. He entwined his fingers in hers. Kisses. His lips moved from hers as he placed small delicate kisses on her cheek. He kissed her eyes. His lips followed the curve of her face down her cheek and finally to her ear, placing soft kisses as he went. 

Kathy's heart pounded in her chest. She felt her skin burn hot. He returned to her lips for one last kiss before he released his grip on her. He smiled. Content. Kathy had her eyes closed. Enjoying the moment. She wobbled a bit, and Michael caught her in his arms. 

"Wow. Damn. Who taught you how to kiss?" Kathy stammered. She pulled her shirt down tight. 

"Thank you," Michael said as he reached for the doorknob. 

"That's it?" 

"I always wanted to kiss you, and I did. I know you're out of my league. I know you're serious about Tony." 

"You didn't answer my question?" 

Michael had his hand on the doorknob. "No one taught me. It's how it's supposed to be. A man should always treat a woman like a woman." 

"And who told you that?" 

"My dad." Michael turned the doorknob a bit when Kathy placed her hand on top of his. 

"You're a strange young man, Michael Echols." 

Michael took his hand from the doorknob and gently caressed Kathy's cheek. "I heard about Tony smacking you around under the bleachers. The entire class knows about it. If that's your definition of being normal, I'm glad you consider me strange." 

He placed a quick kiss on Kathy's lips, smiled, and left the room. 

*********Chapter Two******** 

Kathy left the overnight graduation party early. She drove down Route 8, working her way toward Michael's parent's house. He wasn't invited to the party. 

The Oldsmobile 442 shuddered to a stop in the driveway. Lights blazed in the garage. A screen door kept the bugs out that flew a constant circle around a lone naked light bulb. She knocked on the door, heard nothing, then stepped inside. She saw a man with a small slender hammer. He had a bald spot dead center on the top of his head. He'd put one end of the hammer into his mouth and pulled out a tack. He drove the tack deep into the fabric. He seemed pleasantly occupied. Kathy cleared her throat, and the man looked up. The hammer went into his mouth and another tap on the wood. 

"Is Michael around?" 

The man tipped his head to one side. 

"Thank you," she said as she stepped over the remnants of upholstery material scattered along the floor. She followed a path toward a small nook. There sat Michael, bent over with his fingers working intently on an old radio. 

She tapped on the bench. "Hi." 

A few wisps of solder smoke oozed out of the radio cabinet. "Why, Kathy, what are you doing here? What happened to the party?" 

"Not much going on there. I wanted to get away for a bit. Thought you might be up. What'cha doing?" 

"Fixing this old console radio for a woman down the street. I don't get much for my labor, but I enjoy it." 

"Must be nice to be handy like that." 

"Dad said you need to be good with your hands to make it in today's world." 

Kathy touched the back of his hand. "I bet your fingers are talented. Especially if they are anything like your lips." 

Michael's face turned red. 

"Hi." Michael's father nodded at Kathy. "I'd said hello back there but I had a mouth full of tacks." He turned toward Michael. "Son, I think I'm going to call it quits for the evening." 

"Okay, Dad. This is Kathy. We went to school together." 

"Hello again. I had a busy day. I think Mom and me will turn in early." 

He hugged Michael. "Love you, Son. Don't electrocute yourself." 

"I won't. Love you, too, Dad." 

"Nice meeting you, Mr. Echols." 

"Same here." 

Kathy watched as he maneuvered down the path, piled on both sides by bolts of upholstery fabric. 

"I'll get the lights," he yelled back and soon most of the garage went dark. The only light came from a small desk light. Yellow fingers of light stabbed into the darkness. They heard the screen door slap then the larger outer door as it hit the wooden jamb. 

Michael smiled. "I never thought in my wildest dreams I'd be in a dimly lit room with the prettiest girl in the school." His face blushed and Kathy could almost feel the heat from his skin. "You have no idea how many times I thought about you." 

Kathy draped her arms around his neck. She stepped in closer. "Did you fantasize about me?" 

"Yeah. I mean, well you know, sure I thought about it. You know..." 

She wiggled in closer. "I see. One handed sex." Her fingers slipped through his hair. "What did you think about? Tell me...or better yet, why don't you show me?" 

Michael wiped his hands on his jeans. Then slowly his fingers moved up the front of Kathy's shirt. His hand cupped a breast. He could feel the nipple growing hard under her bra. Kathy didn't move. She didn't say a word. Her eyes were closed as she enjoyed the caress of Michael's gentle touch. 

He slowly unbuttoned her shirt and pulled the shirttails out from her jeans. He slipped her shirt down her shoulders. His hands shook and he had to grasp them together for a moment. Could this be nothing but a dream? With both hands, he found the clasp of her bra. It fell away, and Michael gaped when Kathy's champagne goblet breasts glistened in the yellow light. They were textbook perfect. Soft, pert, and as smooth as the finest silk. 

Instinctually, he lowered his lips and with the softest touch, kissed the top of her breasts. Kathy rose on tiptoes. Her grip around his neck tightened and she pulled Michael tight. 

"Oh... my God. Kiss'em again..." 

Michael's tongue twirled around her hard nips as Kathy moaned softly. 

She reached down and touched Michael's growing member under his jeans. He jumped when she touched him. 

Her fingers worked frantically on his belt. She had it loose—the zipper came down—Kathy wiggled his briefs down to his knees. 

Michael leaned back, Kathy's fingers wrapped around the length of his dick, slowly moving up and down its length. 

Kathy removed her hand and stepped back. "Take your pants off. Underwear, too." 

He kicked his shoes off and in seconds, his jeans and underwear were on the workbench. His hard cock jutted out, proclaiming its dominance over Kathy. 

As she stared at the naked Michael, she wet her lips. "Nice... Now wrap your fingers around it." 

"Kathy!" 

"You said you thought about me this way. Wrap your fingers around it and show me what you did." 

Michael hesitated. He's been with other girls, plenty as a matter of fact, but nothing like this. He reluctantly placed his right hand around his cock. 

"Show me what you did." She kicked her shoes off and snapped her jeans open. She pushed them down to her thighs, all the while keeping her eyes on Michael. She stood before him wearing nothing but a pair of white cotton panties. Michael could see her black bush between her legs. She looped her thumbs into the elastic band of her panties and drew them down. "Show me what you did." 

He moved his hand up and down his cock. "This..." 

Kathy moved close, reached down and stopped his hand. "Tell me what you did when you were thinking of me." 

Michael has never been in this position. Kathy is nude and touching him. All the barriers came tumbling away. He wet his lips, placed his hand around her neck and pulled her close. "I'd jack off thinking about you." Michael's hands moved along the curve of her body. He palmed her breasts, then his fingers moved along the curve of her spine. He cradled her tight butt. 

"You'll never have to do that again." Kathy led him over to an old couch, waiting to be repaired. She took his hand and slipped it between her legs. Michael wiggled a finger, then two, inside her. "Ohh, Michael...do me. Do me right here, right now." 

He frantically pulled down some bolts of material onto the couch. He lifted Kathy and placed her on the pile. He placed her legs over his shoulders. The swollen head of his dick touched her hot lips and she jumped. His hands gripped her thighs as he pushed inside her. 

Kathy rose. "Oh, Jesus!" 

Michael paused, allowing her pussy to become acquainted with an unfamiliar cock. But he couldn't hold back. The first thrust caused Kathy to scream out his name. Her fingers dug into his ass, pulling him in deeper with each stroke. 

His heart flipped and trembled in his chest. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead. More strokes. His blood ignited and liquid fire pumped through his veins. Kathy ground her teeth. Sometimes her fingers would tease and pull at her hard nipples. She ran her fingers through her black bush. 

"Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! Kathy!" 

He came in an explosion that seemed to rattle the garage windows. Seconds later, Kathy jerked. Her body squirmed and flushed. He collapsed on top of her. Breaths slowly returned to normal. He rolled over beside her. Kathy's eyes were closed as she continued to tease her breasts. 

"Kiss'em. Please kiss'em. Michael, please kiss'em for me." 

He leaned over and began to kiss her breasts. Slowly, tenderly, lovingly. 

Michael slipped his arm around her, pulled her close, and kissed her lips. They sat in silence, their thoughts the only sound. He held her. It was a feeling she never had. For several moments, she thought about Tony. How he'd get on to get off. And when he was done, grab a beer and guzzle it down. This is so very different; and she liked it. 

Michael stood, and quickly returned with their clothing. "We'd better get dressed." 

"Suppose' so." 

As they dressed, Michael grew bold. "Why? I mean why tonight? For the last four years of school, you didn't know I existed." 

As Kathy snapped her jeans closed, she looked at Michael. "I don't know. Maybe I'm looking for something I haven't found." 

"You have Tony." 

"No woman can make Tony happy." 

"Is that why you came here tonight? What happened at the party? Did Tony—" 

"I heard him and another girl out in the parking lot going at it." 

"Oh, what was this? A revenge fuck? Is that what I am; payback against Tony? 

She dash over and took his hands into hers. "No! No, nothing like that at all. If I were going to do that, it would have been with someone he knows, someone that would brag about it. You told me the other day to cast off the bowline. I wanted to do it with you. Michael, I wanted this." 

"So, I guess you're going back to the party?" 

Kathy shook her head. "Naw... I'm going to go home." 

"No Tony tonight?" 

"Tony can't compare with what we did. I'm not talking about the sex. I told you, you're different. I'm wondering if...never mind." 

Michael toyed with her long hair, slipping it through his fingers. "Would you like to go someplace with me?" 

"Where?" 

"Someplace unique. Quiet. Calming." 

"Okay, I'd like that." 

************* 

Michael checked the lock on the garage door. He gave it an extra shake, just to be sure the lock held. Kathy waited patiently. 

"Where are we headed to?" Kathy asked. 

"The waterfalls. Haven't you ever been there?" 

"No, never have. Are they close?" 

"Ten miles maybe. I'll give you directions once we get going." 

"Would you like to drive?" 

"Do you mean it? I mean sure! Wow! I'd love to." 

Kathy tossed him the keys and Michael caught them in mid air. He settled behind the wheel. With the turn of the key, the Oldsmobile rumbled to life. The engine surged when Michael tapped the accelerator pedal. The torque of the engine caused one side of the car to dip slightly. A Cheshire cat grin filled Michael's face. "Ah, this is something..." 

The Olds idled and purred like a well-fed cat. His fingers wrapped around the steering wheel and he looked at Kathy next to him. "This is as close as I'll ever come to owning one of these." 

Kathy placed her hand on his thigh. "I'd trade it and all that I have for..." 

"For what, Kathy?" Michael shut the Olds off. 

"Back in the garage, when your dad said goodnight. I'd trade this car in a second if only my dad would tell me he loves me—" 

"He loves you. He's your dad." 

Kathy wiped tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. "You don't know my father. All he sees is money. The power that money can buy. I am an inconvenience to my parents. I wasn't planned. Do you have any idea how many nights I've lay in bed crying myself to sleep? What do I do, Michael, when I run out of tears?" 

***************** 

Around eleven, the Olds made its way down a gravel road. Several other cars were parked around the edges. Small fires glowed, and the soft chatter of people talking filled the air. 

They stood beside the car, then Michael leaned back, resting himself along the warm hood. Kathy next to his side. "Listen," he said. 

"Water?" 

"That's the falls. The river is quite narrow here along Route 8, and there are three small steps that the water tumbles over. Some people come here to fish, but mostly they come for the peace and tranquility of the water." 

Kathy slipped her fingers into his hand. She leaned her head on his shoulder and listened to the water. A crescent moon hung above their heads. And for the first time in her life, Kathy felt at peace. Kathy felt loved. 

***************Chapter Three************ 

Kathy slipped her toes into her heels. She stood and straightened her black skirt. "I'm ready." 




Regrets



Tony adjusted his tie. "About time. You sure you we have to go? I mean what the fuck was he to you anyway?" 

Kathy's stomach grumbled. "I don't like funerals anymore than anyone else. But, if I don't go, I'll regret not going. Let's go." 

The ride seemed longer than necessary. They sat in silence as Tony drove to the funeral home. Boredom finally overtook them, and Tony said, "Heard he got shot up over there." 

Kathy stared out the car's window. She never looked at Tony. "Yeah... Read in the paper he saved most of his platoon that day. Died a hero." 

"He died a fool." 

Kathy attempted to slap his face when he caught her arm. "You don't even want to think about that, 'cause if you do, I'll beat you like a man should beat a woman. Don't think I won't." Tony released his grip on her arm, and Kathy jerked it way. 

********** 

Kathy mingled with the other guests at the funeral home. She walked back and forth from one small room to another. She happened to glance out a window and noticed Tony talking to a young woman in the parking lot. She knew what he was after. Her cold, hard, flinty eyes watched him. Christ, can't you leave the pussy alone even at a place like this? She felt the veins along her neck pulse and twitch. 

They listened as a pastor read from the Bible. They heard stories from his friends. Then, it was over. She passed by the casket one last time. Her hands trembled. She's never touched a dead body before. Kathy twisted her wedding ring around her finger. Her stomach churned. She felt like all her insides were quivering. Kathy leaned down and kissed his forehead. 

She felt a hand touch her shoulder. Kathy looked up. "He spoke about you all the time. Even in the letters he sent home." 

"Mrs. Echols... I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry about your lost." 

Kathy noticed another hand on her shoulder. His eyes were red and bloodshot. Tears lingered on his cheeks. "Mr. Echols, I'm so sorry." 

Mr. Echols took his wife's hand into his and they stared at their son lying in peace—forever twenty-one years old. 

"We got to get this done." Kathy heard him tell his wife softly. Husband, father, wife, and mother. Together they held each other as they watched a thin elderly man lower the top of the casket. When the two halves touch, a long moan of despair erupted from Mrs. Echols. She flung her arms around her husband and wept. 

Kathy gently rubbed Mrs. Echols's back. She leaned in. "I told him no. I wish, oh how I wish, I didn't say that." 

Mr. Echols looked up as he comforted his wife. "What do you mean you said no?" 

*********** Chapter four********* 

Kathy placed another Rolling Rock to her lips. She took a few gulps, and then set the bottle down on the bar. Hard. Her passion-red painted fingernails smashed another Marlboro into the overfilled ashtray. 

"You okay tonight, Kathy?" 

She picked the bottle up and tilted her head back, draining the last drop out. "Give me another one, Ned." 

"Sure. You know the cops will be out tonight. New Year's Eve and all that." 

She nodded. "I'm good. Good. Yeah, that's me. Good... Good for nothing." She put another Marlboro to her lips. Kathy pulled a long drag from the cigarette, and then blew the smoke out her nose. She shook her head and when she did, the black cowboy hat she wore slipped to one side. She took the hat off, slapped it on her jeans, and then put it back on. Another night, another beer, at the Red Dog saloon. 

She didn't know where Tony was. Didn't give a shit one way or the other. He left her for a younger tramp years ago. She'd been remarried since then. That marriage didn't lasted. Her last husband skipped out, too. She didn't care where he was either this New Year's Eve. As far as Kathy was concerned, they could both burn in hell. 

Years ago, Kathy's father stuck his checkbook in his pocket. She hasn't gotten a dime from him in years—she hasn't talked to him for over ten years. She's working as a cashier at a convenience store now. 

Kathy pulled a faded black and white photo from her shirt pocket. She clutched it in her left hand. Her thumb circled the outline of a young boy's face. A smile tried to tug at the corner of her lips. Her right hand held yet another Marlboro as she rested her elbows on the bar. 

"Damn..." 

"What ya got there, Kathy?" Ned asked. 

She rolled her tongue around the inside of her mouth. Her head moved from one side to the other. "Damn, could he kiss." 

"Old flame?" 

"Maybe. Yeah, I guess you'd could call it that." Another empty bottle hit the bar. "How about another one, Ned?" 

He collected the empties and with a twist of his wrist, opened the fifth bottle of Rolling Rock for Kathy. 

"Hittin' them pretty hard tonight, aren't you?" 

"What the fuck... It's New Year's." Her eyes burned into the image of the young man in the photo. "I told him no. Damn, do I regret that." She slid the photo along the top of walnut bar in front of Ned. 

"Handsome young man. What did he ask you?" Ned pushed the photo back. 

"We were so young. I had Tony. My old man was going to pay for his college. Keeping him out of the war. I knew, I don't know how, but me and Tony... We never seemed to click. He couldn't keep his dick in his pants." Kathy smashed another smoke into the ashtray. 

"Every chance I'd get, I'd come back home and see Michael. We'd drive to the waterfalls by the Cuyahoga River. We'd talk about our dreams..." 

"That's the guy in the photo?" 

"Yeah, that's Mike. He's dead. Died over there in fuckin' 'Nam." 

"What did he ask you?" 

She tilted her head to one side and looked around the Red Dog salon. George Jones was singing about a lost love on the jukebox. With shaky hands, she lit another smoke. "He ahh." She sucked in a breath. "Damn." She looked into Ned's inquiring eyes. "He asked me to marry him. And I told him no." Tears filled her eyes and soon they broke free and meandered down her cheeks. She wiped them away with the back her hand. 

"Don't you think every day I regret telling him that? My old man put Tony through college. He could have done the same for Michael. Maybe it would have saved his life. Maybe I wouldn't be here sucking down beer after beer trying to drown my fuckin' life." 

She sat in silence, listening as the bar became loud with the party. "He's been dead for almost twenty years now. I thought, I don't know why, but I thought time would have taken some of the sting out of it. Tonight, it hurts just as much as the night I got the phone call from his father. I guess I thought wrong." 

Ned watched as an overweight man pranced up to Kathy like a show pony. 

"Hey, darling, how's it going?" 

Kathy looked over. A middle-aged man with a white cowboy hat stood next to her. Dirty sweat stains ringed around the hat. A large metal belt buckle strained to contain his gut that hung over his belt. Black alligator cowboy boots were on his feet. 

"Leave me alone." 

"Just trying to be social. You wanna 'nother?" The stranger slipped onto the stool next to Kathy. 

"I don't want nothin' from you." 

"Darling, I'm only trying to be friendly. You're too pretty to be sittin' all by yourself on New Year's Eve." He flicked his finger in the air and caught Ned's attention. "Let me buy this beauty another drink." 

"Kathy?" 

She shrugged. Ned set one more down in front of her. She raised the beer slightly toward the stranger to acknowledge his offer. She put it to her lips. 

"They call me Joe. Big Joe, as a matter of fact. Big. You know big, as in long and thick." 

Kathy rolled her eyes. "Oh Christ." 

"That's what all the ladies say when they see my equipment." 

"You're sick." 

"Bet you're a hottie in the sack." 

Kathy's reflexes were still sharp, it takes more than a few beers anymore to slow them down, and she felt the palm of her hand burn when it struck his face. 

"What the fuck!" Joe wailed as he rubbed his cheek. "Christ, I'm looking for some fun. Maybe someone to greet the New Year with." 

Kathy put the beer bottle to her lips when she felt his hand on her jeans. Persistent. She gave him that. She looked down at his hand as it rambled over her thigh. She didn't say anything. She took another gulp. The roving hand moved from her thigh to her back. Fingers probed and then lingered along her bra's clasp. Then, they moved up her back following the shoulder strap. He pushed it toward her arm. 

"Don't." She wiggled her shoulder and moved the strap back where it should be. Then, the lies started to flow. Oh, she heard them all before. How the wives don't appreciate them. The ex is such a bitch. The stories are all the same. Only the names change. She muted the conversation out, nodding when she figured she had to, and smiling now and then just for the hell of it. 

"Well, what do ya say?" 

"Sorry?" 

"You know. You wanna follow me back to my place, and we'll rock in the New Year?" 

She studied him. She'd been to bed with worse; but not by much. But more important, she didn't want to spend another New Year's Eve alone. Even if it meant lying on her back for ten minutes. "What the fuck." 

Big Joe pushed back on the bar. He didn't figure he'd be that lucky that quickly. "All right! Like I said, I live only a few miles down Ravenna road. Maybe five minutes from here, and you can follow me if you want." 

Kathy smashed the last Marlboro out then stood. She tucked her white shirt down into her jeans. She still had a figure. However, the years haven't been all that good to her. Her skin red, and a Rorschach of blue veins were beginning to blossom on her cheeks. The curves of her body had long left her. Skinny and thin had replaced her girlish curves of youth. She followed Big Joe out. 

********* 

Big Joe unlocked the door to his mobile home, and the front door creaked slightly as he pushed it open. She stepped inside. The fake wood paneled walls were plastered with framed photos of Elvis Presley. A large, black velvet painting of the King hung centered above a small TV in the living room. A sconce on either side held a candle. Frozen fingers of wax riddled the sides. A black sooty glass tube sat askew around the candles. Every flat space held empty beer and liquor bottles. 

"Let's get this show on the road," Big Joe said as he un-buckled his belt. 

Kathy shook her head and slowly began to unbutton her shirt. She followed him down a narrow hallway to the bedroom. Joe stripped out of most of his clothing in a matter of seconds. He sat on the edge of the bed, watching Kathy as her fingers worked on the shirt's buttons. "Come on, darling, we don't want to miss the fireworks at midnight." He reached over and started to work on her belt. He pulled the thin leather strap. Satisfied he had it loose enough, he popped the snap of her jeans and drew the zipper down. 

"Why such a rush?" 

"Oh, darling, you're a beauty." His eyes glowed in the twilight of the small bedroom. 

Kathy wiggled her tight jeans down to her thighs. She stopped. Kathy sat on the edge of the bed and worked her boots off. She stood and continued to work her jeans down and off. Big Joe's eyes glowed. Under suntan pantyhose she wore light pink panties. He wet his lips with his tongue. "Come on, babe, Big Joe got's the need." 

He stood and whipped his tighty-whities down his hips. He tossed them, skid marks and all, on the top of a dresser. His cock grew hard. A few drops of pre-cum made the tip shimmer. 

Kathy stood nude in front of him. How many men has she been with? She couldn't or didn't want to remember. Hell by the end of the week, she'll forget all about big Joe. 

His eyes looked her over. She felt like a hunk of meat hanging on a hook. "Come on, darling, let's see that monkey." 

Kathy's hand went between her legs. Then, her fingers plowed through her bush. She spread her soft pink lips apart. Big Joe sat on the bed's edge, fingers wrapped around his member, slowly running his hand up and down its length. 

He wiggled his middle finger at her and she stepped in closer. As he continued to stroke himself, he slipped a finger inside Kathy. 

"Oh, damn, darling. I'm going to fuck you good." He tugged her down toward the bed. Then he picked her boots off the floor. "I want these on you," he announced. Kathy slipped her bare toes back into her boots. Kathy crawled on her knees across the worn out bed and the threadbare, yellowed sheets. Big Joe reached for her hat. He placed it on her head. "This too." A finger went between her ass cheeks; she slapped it way. 

Wearing black socks, and a sweat stained tee-shirt, he pushed her onto her back. The end of the bed rose up. Joe clawed at her legs, splaying them out. His fingers rammed into her pussy, while his tongue slobbered across her breasts. 

"Come on, darling, don't disappoint. I know you got fire in your ass. All the fillies I'm with can't hold it back." 

He went between her legs and sounded like an old hound dog lapping water out of a bowl. Kathy let out a few moans and groans. Nothing over the top, but enough she thought, to convince him that he was the stud he bragged about. But Kathy felt nothing. Nothing at all. She scrutinized the ceiling, and the fly shit that covered the yellowed tiles above her. 

He spat on his fingers, then rubbed his spit along his cock. He straddled her. His belly hung like a pillow case full of Jell-O. She felt him enter her. The thrusts. His belly wiggled back and forth. Grunts. Moans. Her eyes stared at the ceiling. Big Joe my ass. 

"Oh, God! Jesus. Jesus." Joe moaned. His thrusts became shorter. His breaths rapid. Sweat formed on his forehead. "Oh Yeah! Darling! Fuck you. Fuck you. Oh!" 

He came in a shudder. 

She felt nothing. 

He rolled off. "Bet you're impressed right now, ain't you? Now, you know why all the ladies call me Big Joe." He stood and began to work his underwear up his fat ass. 

"Aren't you going to lay here with me for a while? You know, celebrate the New Year?" 

"Listen, you're a fine, fine, filly. I'll give you that, but a guy like me, well you know, we like to keep a corral full of fillies on the ranch." 

Kathy rose on her elbows. "Fuck you. It's Ohio. The only cattle ranch you'll ever come close to is the meat department at Giant Eagle." 

He made his fingers into a pistol shape. Then, he pointed it at her. "Yeah, but I got you. Bang! Another notch in my belt." He walked down the hallway as he fastened his shirt. She followed him, slipping her shirt over her bare breasts. "You promised me, I'd be with someone this New Year's Eve." 

He had his hand on the doorknob, then turned around and looked at her. He pointed the remote at the TV, turning it on, then tossed it to her. "Here you go. You and Dick Clark have a rockin' eve. I don't want my beer to get warm back at the Red Dog." 

"Fuck you!" 

"Darling, I just did." He smirked in triumph. "Oh, by the way. My old lady gets off around three. She doesn't know about my little corral, if you get my drift. You should probably be gone by then. See ya, slut." He closed the door. 

Kathy slowly walked to the bedroom to collect her remaining clothing. Slut. She couldn't argue with that. That's what she is. What she has become. 

The wife doesn't know. "Stupid shithead!" Kathy draped her pink panties over a corner of the velvet painting of Elvis. She flung her pantyhose over a sconce. Explain those, Big Joe. 

She sat on the worn sofa, staring at the flickering images on the TV. She plowed her fingers through her hair. A nearly empty bottle of Four Roses sat on the battered coffee table. Cigarette burns lined the edges. The bottle called to her. She put the cold glass to her lips, and enjoyed the burn as the alcohol flowed down her throat. The tinny sounds of Auld Lang Syne poured from the small speaker on the TV. She watched the ball drop. She watched a new decade begin. 1989 forever gone. 

Kathy emptied the bottle and flung it down the hallway. Then, she placed her elbows on her knees and rested her head in her hands. And as the first few minutes of 1990 began to fade, Kathy wept. 

**********Chapter five******** 

Naomi peeked into Kathy's room. "You coming out to celebrate with us?" 

"Oh I don't know. I'm tired. I'm not use to stayin' up this late anymore." 

"Goodness sakes, Kathy, it'll be fun. There's sauerkraut 'n pork. There're pies, and all kinds of yummy things to begin 2015 with. Look here." Naomi reached into her white nurse's uniform and pulled out a handful of loose change. "My grandmother always said, you need to eat your first meal of the New Year with money under your plate. Suppose' to bring you wealth and good luck." 

Kathy smiled weakly. "I'm too old for either one." 

"Now, don't you be silly." 

Kathy slipped her legs out from under the bed covers. Gently her feet touched the floor. "Maybe later, Naomi." 

"It would do you good. Really it would." Naomi paused. She tried to find the words that would convince Kathy to join the others in the main dinning room. All the other residents that call Meadow Wood Lane Assisted Living 'home.' 

"If you need something." 

"I know the routine," Kathy said. 

Naomi smiled then nodded before she left the room. Kathy scuffled her slippers along the polished floor. She went to the window. Winters in Ohio weren't like they were when she was younger. There's no snow now. In winter, you're supposed to have snow. What she wouldn't give to see it snow on this New Year's Eve. 

Kathy opened a drawer and removed a small leather bound Bible. Her fingers worked down into the pages and removed a photograph. She tried to find God. Maybe she didn't pray hard enough to get his attention. Perhaps it was the accumulation of a lifetime of bad choices. More important, maybe God simply didn't care about her. 

She flipped the photograph over. Reading the writing that had faded to a light blue. She knew the words by heart, yet when she read them it was as though she heard them the first time. 

'Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowline. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.' 

It was Michael's handwriting on the back. He wrote those words for her so many, many years ago. Now in the twilight of her life, she knew, as he did, that she'd tell him no. Tony had already asked her to marry him and she said yes. One of the biggest mistakes she ever made. But Michael asked anyway. No regrets. 

"Why didn't I say yes?" The same question she asked herself millions of times, yet has never heard the answer. 

She clutched the photo to her chest. Her eyes closed. She remembered the times they were together. All good. The black and white photo was of Michael standing beside her red Oldsmobile by the waterfalls. Kathy took the picture. He was the only man that she loved. Love. Something she never could understand. Always beyond her reach. So close. Yet never within her grasp. 

With her fingertip, she gently traced the outline of his face. She closed her eyes, trying to recall more memories of her and Michael. But, it was so long ago. Time at last has blurred some memories. 

"2015. Where did my life go? Why didn't I say yes? Things might have been, no they would have been, so different from this hell I lived." 

*********** 

"Kathy?" 

"Naomi, I don't want to go to the party. I'm so tired." 

"Kathy?" 

"Just let me sleep." 

"Kathy?" 

"Please leave me alone." She opened her eyes. Standing in the darkened room, she could barely make out the outline of a figure. Kathy pushed herself up and drew the blanket to her chest. The figure came closer. 

"Who are you?" Her heart pounded in her chest. 

Closer still. She saw a face she knew. 




Regrets



"Michael?" 

"Yes, Kathy, it's me. I've come for you." 

She palmed her eyes with hands, and then squinted at the figure standing beside her bed. "That can't be. You're de—" 

"I'm right here." 

She blinked. Then blinked several more times. Trying to erase the image her mind conjured together. She looked at the figure one more time. She snapped her eyes closed. 

"I'm losing my mind. It can't be. No. No. No. No... You're dead. You died. No. No." She slowly opened her eyes yet the apparition remained. 

She turned her head away. But, Kathy's eyes slowly returned to the figure. "Michael?" 

"Yes..." 

"You look so handsome in your uniform. You're young. Just as I remember you." 

He touched her cheek and she placed her hands on his. "As are you." 

Kathy looked down at her shoulders. Her thin graying hair; gone. Across her shoulders and to her breasts, it now lay as long black rivers of shiny hair. 

"It's time," Michael said. "We need to go." 

She slipped her legs out from the blankets. The pain from the rheumatoid arthritis that had plagued her—was no more. 

"Where're we going?" 

The corner of the room dissolved away. A bright amber light seemed to replace the walls. 

She stopped. She pointed at the light. "What?" 

"Friends. Me and God...we've been watching you." 

"But I was alone. My life. Just one big screw up after another. I—" 

"You were never alone." 

Hand in hand they walked toward the amber light. She felt its warmth like a fire on a winter's night. As they passed the window, Kathy stopped and peered out into the bleak Ohio night. With a wipe of his hand across the window, the landscape turned snowy. Large dandelion sized snow flakes tumbled from the sky and passed the windows to the ground below. 

Kathy's brown eyes glowed in the yellow light. "What if I don't want to go?" 

Michael stopped. "It's your choice." Her fingers tighten around his hand. 

Kathy turned and looked at her tired and worn out body still covered by a blanket. "No regrets, Michael, no regrets..." 

********chapter six ******* 

Naomi waited by the door for the daylight supervisor, Regina. She didn't need to wait for long, as she soon heard the tap-tapping of Regina's shoes on the polished floor. 

"Normally, I'd say happy New Year," Regina began, "but somehow it doesn't seem to fit today." 

Naomi nodded. "Yeah, hell of a way to start the New Year. I found her." 

"When?" They entered the room. 

"I went in a bit past midnight, and was going to tell her happy New Year. She didn't respond. I found no pulse when I checked. I noted the time and logged it in." 

"Did you notify next of kin yet?" 

"Not yet." 

As they were talking, an ethereal older man with bright blue eyes stood in the doorway. He tapped his cane on the doorjamb. 

"May we help you with something?" Naomi asked. 

"I've come for Kathy McCullars." 

"Oh, I see. You must be Mr. McCullars, Kathy's father." 

The man leaned on his cane, took his gloves off, and smiled at the two women. "No...I'm not Kathy's father." 

Naomi touched the man's shoulder and asked, "Who are you?" 

"I'm Michael Echols. Michael Echols Senior." He walked up to Kathy's bed. 

As he held her hand he lowered his lips to her ear and whispered, "Kathy, I've come to take you home..." 

Naomi touched the old man's shoulder once more. "How did you know? No one has called from this office." 

He picked up the photo beside the Bible that rested on the bed. "I knew." 

"How?" Naomi pressed. 

His eyes were locked on the photo; the photograph that Kathy carried all these years. 

"My son told me." 

Naomi shook her head. "Something's not right here." 

The old man picked up the photograph from the bed. He looked at it for what seemed hours, then carefully handed the photo to Naomi. Naomi's mouth gaped open. She stared at the photo, then back at the old man. "I've seen this photograph a thousand times. What did you do?" 

"What's going on here?" Regina asked. 

With a shaking hand, Naomi handed Regina the photograph. "That's not right." 

"What not right?" Regina asked. 

"The photo. It was of a young man by a car." 

"No... I see two people in it. It's Kathy and a young man." 

"There weren't two last night. There's never been two people in that photo. She showed me the photograph every night before she went to sleep. I've seen it every day I've been here. No... only one person, a young man, is in the picture." 

The old man smiled at Naomi's frustration. "Before my son was killed in the war, he wrote his mom and me that his biggest regret in his life was letting Kathy marry Tony. He said he'd never rest until they were together. He wanted to fix the mistake he made." He looked at Kathy's old photograph. The edges torn and ragged. The corners dog-eared. 

In the photograph, it showed two people. Michael and Kathy holding hands beside the Olds on a clear day. They were together at last. 

"No regrets... No regrets..."



Regrets



Eyeing the long black bag sitting on the shelf, I pondered the idea again. Slipping my panties off letting them sit on the floor as I continued to study it, knowing what was inside, and longing for the relief it would bring me. I closed my eyes sitting on the edge of the bed thinking of your kiss. Sensations surged through me again, stronger than before. I took a deep breath letting out the strong desire to lie back on the bed and pleasure myself for release from this strong feeling. I wanted to wait. I wanted to cum with you, I wanted you to bring me my climax. 

Rising to my feet, I pulled off my nightshirt still eyeing that black bag. Pressed for time and with the shower running I knew I needed to get a move on. No time for toying with erotic thoughts and fantasies of you. Lingering lustful thoughts were slowing me down and I started to move away from the bed. But I couldn't help it; sensations festering deep inside me urged me to keep my eye on that bag. 

Finally, the yearning overcame me and I caved in. Slipping a purple vibrator out of the black bag and onto my hand I headed to the shower without even looking it. As I placed it up on the shelf thought scornfully. 'I should have done it that night. Then I wouldn't have this problem. Or would I?' I giggled as the water soaked my hair at how horny I've become over the last year of abstinence. 

I fell prey to the warm water rushing down my body caressing my soft skin finding comfort in the sensations. The warmth feeds my ever-growing desire of lust and I fight to not surrender to it. Putting my head back into the spray I close my eyes as images of you flash into my mind's eye. Your soft touch was so inviting as you brush my hair back away from my face, your fingers lightly touching my heated cheek. Your words, so steady and smooth comforted me as we questioned one another, trying to fight against the insecure feelings of fear. I could see you so vividly smiling at me as we sat across one another yet so close. I wondered if you could hear the tremble in my voice. Could you feel my breath quicken against your own as we drew closer to each other. Hints of my fear, my anxiety of doing what I so longed to do with a man. 

Running my hands through my wet hair still lost in thoughts of how your lips pressed against my own. Your tongue so wet and inviting slipped to the edge of my mouth testing the limits of my response. Parting my lips I let you in, longing for more of this kiss, our first kiss. Teasingly I suck slightly and then release feeling awkward of what more to do. Fully aware of me you continued, coaching my pause with more sensual kissing. Your breath hitting my cheek as your tongue danced with mine. I started to lose my self in your seduction.

Breathing hard at the memories, I found hands massaging my breasts. Kneading my fingers deep into my soft white orbs. 'Oh god, what am I doing.' It felt so good; the urges were winning as I eyed my vibrator. 'No.' I said softly taking a deep breath trying hard to collect myself. 

I poured the shampoo into my hand and massaged it deep into my hair. Closing my eyes again enjoying the rubbing motion. Again, my thoughts trailed to that night we met and of your soft face pressing against my own. My thoughts drifted to how your hand cupped my breast just resting there. Another test, to see what I would do. I wanted it, I wanted more. Your kiss became more passionate, more intense as it moved away from my mouth exploring my ear. With your nose nuzzled in my hair you started to erotically squeeze my breast. I let out a deep breath falling prey to your touch, the feel of your body so close to my own. Sensations flood my body and I find I'm overcome with desire, with lust to continue this more with you.

Panting I open my eyes and set my focus on the vibrator. I wanted to wait. I wanted to find release with you, but my desire, my thoughts of that night were so intense so alive inside me I was succumbing to it rapidly. I swallowed hard, running my hand down the curves of my body to my most intimate part that lay hidden between my thighs. Parting my legs slightly I softly touch the rim of my pussy hole. Instantly heat flooded my being, rising up deep within my soul and I knew I was doomed. With lustful eyes I eyed that purple toy again and knew exactly what needed to be done to quench this fire. 

Sitting on the floor of the shower I laid back against the cool tile wall letting the water hit freely against my naked body. I bent my knees bringing them up off the floor and pressed my fingers against my pussy lips spreading them apart. The water ran down across my clit... ah... your tongue. How I wished it were your tongue. But your tongue entertained mine that night we first met. With heated kisses in your car, we paid no mind to passersby, but continued to feed our growing desire. I could feel in your lips the desire you had, your heavy breath were simple clues of your lust. As long as you were heated, I continued. 

Pressing the vibrator against my wet clit I closed my eyes and swayed my head to one side, thinking of how you exposed your cock to the cool night air. I could feel the heat and hardness of your manhood in my hand. My lustful desires grew as I stroked it, wanting more of it but continued to kiss you. Your hands explored my breasts, pinching and teasing my nipples mercilessly over my clothing. Ah, god you felt so good. 

'I want to feel your skin.' You whispered to me slipping your hand under my shirt. The feel of your fingers were so soft, so warm, so inviting. I was lost at that moment. I laid back and surrendered to your touch. Your hand slipped into my bra pulling the tender milky white breast free, exposing full view for your delights. 'Beautiful.' You commented before wrapping your lips around the hardened nipple. 

Shudders raced up my back at the thought of your wet tongue twirling around my nipple. I felt my body tense as the vibrator ran across my clit again and again. It felt so good and my body started to climax as images of you sucking on my breasts flashed in my mind. The wetness of your tongue, your lips, your touch, your hand, all against my tender breast there in your car in the moonlight. The thoughts so erotic, so intense, it was all I needed. My leg pushed out pressing against the shower wall as I felt my pussy contract an orgasm. Over and over sensations flooded my body. 

I sat on the shower floor letting the warm water run over me, panting. With my eyes still closed thinking of that night I continued to twirl the purple vibrator against my clit even more. My fingers teased my pussy hole feeling the wetness. It was hot to the touch, yearning for more. Wild with passion as we were that night, I pressed on now surrendering to my erotic pleasures. 

My wet nipple glistening in the light as my hand gently strokes your throbbing cock, we continued kissing letting our tongues mingle. Your lips trail down away from my mouth, seductively nuzzling my neck. I stared down at your cock; long to engulf it deep into my mouth. I toyed with the precum, smearing it around the helmet debating if I should be so bold on our first date. Your head flung back, your breath hot and heavy falling against the crown of my head. 

'Suck on my cock, babe.' That was all I needed. Your verbal desire made vocal.

Sensations surged through my body as thoughts of how nice your cock felt pressed against my lips, then my tongue. The soft pink helmet hit the roof of my mouth as I continued to stroke your cock. 

I put a finger into my pussy and drove it in hard, continuing to flick the vibrator across my clit. My hips started to buck slightly as imagined your cock slipping in and out of my mouth, over and over. Faster I stroked, faster I thrusted my finger. I started to gasp, moan loudly as I felt your cock twitch in my mouth. I suck harder bobbing my head up and down. You taste so good as precum starts to fill my mouth, I drink with delight wanting more. 

Pressing my foot firmly against the shower wall, I feel my body tense once again. 

'I'm going to cum.' you barely breathed out before I felt your juices rush up through your shaft and into my mouth. I start to swallow, drinking your seed. Those vivid thoughts brought me to a second climax, which I moaned out with a scream. Over and over we both gasped, you in my memories, and I in the shower. 

I felt my tension start to subside as the warm shower water ran into my open mouth reminded me of your cum. Taking deep breaths I started to regret. Surprisingly, not of my self induced orgasm but rather not continuing further with you, and letting our actions take us into a night filled of passionate sex. I let it end there with you cumming in my mouth. A small smile of mischievousness crossed my face as I stood up from the shower floor... 'That won't happen next time.' 



Regrets



As always, thank you to my wonderful editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan, for making my story a much better read.

*

I'm a man that did most of it wrong and I'm paying for it now. I married young to my girlfriend at the time. We were both barely twenty years old but she got pregnant and we got married. Two years later we had our second child; they were two of the cutest little girls you can picture, Amber and Brittany.

I'm writing this story to let people know that men make mistakes too. Many readers will call my errors in judgment more than mistakes and they will be correct. I'm using the word mistake to try and simplify my explanation. 

I am divorced now and have been for over three years. I miss my ex-wife so very much. I also miss seeing my kids more often even though I try to be a big part of their lives. They are now eight and ten and live with their mother.

Let me try to start in the beginning after we got married. I was going to college part time and working. I had to quit school to bring in more money. I was lucky and got a great job in the auto assembly plant thanks to my dad who had a little pull getting me this job.

I loved Darcy, my wife, very much. She was so young, sweet, and innocent when we met. She was petite and, in my eyes, very pretty. I guess we were too young to get married, at least I was. I took her for granted which I now know was a very bad mistake. Our sex life was good as far as I knew; I wasn't the greatest lover and worldly person at twenty. We had sex and it was good. Very rarely would she ever refuse me. Until Amber was born, we did it almost nightly. Sometimes it was quick and at other times we took our time.

After Amber's birth, our sex life slacked off quite a bit. Darcy had a part-time job at the school in the cafeteria and I worked all the hours I could get in the auto plant. We struggled like most young couples but all in all we still lived a pretty decent life. After the birth of Britt, our sex life diminished even more. We were down to once a week or so which seemed like a big drop in our sex life for two young people in love.

I began kidding with a couple of the assembly girls at the plant. It started as joking but went a little further and I would touch their tits or ass. It was all in jest but the more they let me touch them, the more I did. I was young and never thought about the consequences of my actions. A group of us that worked together went out after working late one day. I told Darcy that I was going out with the guys at work for a few beers. It was true but I never mentioned the girls that went with us. One was single and the other divorced. They were about three years older than me.

One thing lead to another and someone threw some change in the jukebox and Ellie, one of the girls, asked me to dance. I grabbed her ass and she didn't complain. It had been a few days since I did anything with Darcy and soon had a hard on. Ellie asked me to go out to the car.

"Ellie, I can't. I'm married and can't do this to Darcy."

"We don't need to fuck, Rhett. Let's just play around a little."

We went out to my car and I got in and Ellie started kissing me. She undid her jeans and I could see her underwear. She took my hand and put it on her lower belly. I couldn't help it. I was thinking with my cock as I slid my hand down into her underwear and grabbed her moist pussy. Darcy had been the only pussy I had touched like this since being a teenager and doing a little exploring. Ellie started pumping against my hand and I slid my fingers into her cunt. I couldn't help it. I was just a stupid kid. In a couple of minutes she came all over my hand. I pulled my hand out of her pants and it was soaking wet. 

"Smell it, Rhett, smell my juices all over your hand."

I did bring my hand up to my nose. Ellie smelled so different than Darcy. I thought all women smelled the same, but I was wrong. I had a giant hard-on and Ellie unzipped my pants and pulled it out.

"Ellie, don't, I can't, I'm married," I said to her but at the same time I wanted to fuck her.

"Don't worry, Big Boy, I'm not fucking you," she said as she bent over and took my cock in her mouth. This was the first blow job I had ever had. Darcy always said she wasn't putting that dirty thing in her mouth.

I didn't last but a minute until I came and shot the load into Ellie's mouth. She held up a tissue and spit most of it out. There was so much that I knew she had swallowed some.

"Damn, Big Boy, that was quite a load. I kept my promise and didn't fuck you," she laughed. "If you ever want to play again, just look me up."

She got out of my car and into her own and left. I felt bad. I felt I had cheated on Darcy. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't cheating but I knew I was just kidding myself. I promised myself that if God would forgive me that I would never do it again. I think most guys have been there at one time or another.

As soon as I got home I ran into the bathroom and washed my hands. It seemed like the smell of Ellie wasn't coming off. I know it was just my brain malfunctioning. I said hi to Darcy and grabbed Amber and held her. I needed to do something to get rid of the guilt I felt. Later when Darcy and I went to bed I tried to feel her up, and make love but she told me she was too tired that night. I really was glad because I hadn't taken a shower and probably had cum on my cock still.

For the next few days, I tried to avoid Ellie. She came up to me and said, "Don't sweat it, Rhett. It was nothing. I don't expect you to divorce your wife and marry me. It was just a little playtime between friends," she said as she reached forward, and grabbed my cock in its confines. She laughed and walked away.

Time passed and things were back to normal. Darcy and I bought a house; a three bedroom ranch with a pool. We knew it would be a little tight on our budget but we wanted to own a home, or at least buy one. My parents gave me enough for a down payment and we moved in. It was in a little town about ten miles from work. The school where Darcy worked was just down the street a couple of blocks. Darcy's mom would watch the kids whenever Darcy worked so we didn't have to pay out any childcare.

The neighborhood was filled with young people all buying their first houses. That made it kind of nice because we almost all had young kids. Some neighbors we became friends with while others Darcy said she didn't trust.

Our life went on and was becoming boring. I know this happens to most everyone. The sex became mundane but Darcy was happy with our sex life. As I mentioned earlier, I probably wasn't the greatest lover and Darcy hopefully didn't have anyone to compare me to.

We broke down and bought a computer. Darcy used it for games, when she had time, and e-mailing her family and friends. I used it to go on line and find some erotic stories or some might say 'porno' to read and look at. It became somewhat addicting. I wanted to spice up our sex life but I think this was the first step in the downfall of my marriage.

I read story after story about cheating wives and cuckold husbands, which I prefer to call wimp husbands, and it made me wonder. If I caught Darcy cheating on me or found out she did in the past, how would I react? This is something that most guys must think about after reading these stories.

Fantasies versus reality, that was the question. I know I like my wife to look attractive. In doing so I know she will attract attention from the opposite sex. I guess it's how we deal with it that counts.

If I ever see a man lay a hand on my wife, I would knock him into next week. At least that's what I'd hope I'd do. I am the jealous type and even get a little pissed when she dances close with another guy at a party. On the fantasy side - and I do mean fantasy - I ask myself, "Would it be a turn-on to see her have sex with another man?" I know that in the throes of passion I have said such things.

"Come on, baby, can you feel him fucking you? Would you like two guys at once? Do you like his cock?" I've even said worse. "Ever fuck a black guy? Would you like to feel a hot black dick in your pussy? How about showing other men your pussy? Have you done it? Do you let other men squeeze those big tits? Want some other men to suck them?"

During the sex, I want her to answer, "Yes," but she always tells me, "No," that she wants no one but me. I don't understand why I say such things. Am I the only pervert in this world? Do I have a death wish for my marriage? I have no reason to ever suspect her of cheating on me. Maybe it has a lot to do with what I read or watch on television. Every show has somebody cheating or having sex. I'm surprised they have time to do any acting. It's not just the programs but the actors and actresses have real life situations almost matching their on-screen performances. I think too much of this kind of TV will fuck up a marriage.

After one of my fantasy talk episodes, Darcy asked me if I was happy with her. She was worried about us and was wondering why I would say such things. I tried to explain that it must have been some stories I had read about cheating wives. 

"Rhett, Honey, I promise you with God as my witness, that I will never cheat on you."

I've learned that when two people are developing a relationship, it is imperative that you learn something about that person's make-up. I learned very early in our relationship that Darcy was a person with two very pronounced attributes that dominated her personality. She was the loving wife and mother, soft spoken, easy going woman whom everyone adored. She would cry over little things and I would always want to hold her. She was as sweet as sweet could be.

Darcy's other side was when she got mad. She was a BITCH in capital letters. No one wanted on her bad side. She could cuss with the best of them. She wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. I think she goes psycho when she gets extremely angry. One time when she was pregnant with Britt, we went out and some woman said something to her that wasn't very nice. Darcy beat the living shit out of this woman before anyone could step in and stop it. I tried to stay away from this side of Darcy.

--------------------------------- 

One day when I was working late Darcy was having a few of her lady friends come by and enjoy the pool. Some even brought their kids. I walked in the house and glanced out the back window at the pool. Damn! Most of those women looked pretty good and were dressed in two piece bathing suits. One of the gals named Alice was coming in. I backed away from the window and went to the front door like I was just coming home.

"Hi, Rhett. Just getting home?" she asked.

"Yeah, worked late. How's the swim party going?"

"Oh, the water feels wonderful. I have a slight headache and Darcy said to get a couple of aspirin out of the medicine cabinet." 

"Hold on, I'll get them for you."

When I came back, Alice had run a glass of water and I handed her the aspirin.

"Thanks, Rhett," she said.

"No problem. Want me to rub your temples? It's really relaxing."

What I wanted was for Alice to sit inside for a few minutes so I could admire her body. 

"Okay, but only for a minute. I have to get back out to the kids."

She was divorced with two kids and a body to beat hell. She sat in a straight backed chair and I began rubbing her temples. She closed her eyes and just kind of leaned back in the chair. I lowered my hand to her neck and kept rubbing, but now it was her neck.

"Oh, that's feels so good. Your cool hands feel great."

"Women carry a lot of tension in their neck and shoulders." I lowered my hand to her shoulders and gave her a nice rub. I could also see her chest rise and fall with her breathing.

"You keep rubbing me like that and you can massage me forever," she said softly.

Watching her breasts rise and fall was getting to me. I don't know why I did it, but I lowered my hands down her front and into her swim top gripping her soft globes in my hands. I saw the areolas around her nipple and gently squeezed each globe.

"God, that feels so good! You can massage me anytime," I heard Alice say.

I must have come out of my little sexual trance as I quickly pulled my hands out of her top. Why didn't she object to it? As I backed away, I saw Darcy coming through the door.

"Hi, Honey, just get home? What's going on?" she asked.

Alice said, "I got the aspirin and Rhett massaged my temples. I think it helped."

"Yeah, Rhett's quite a massager. He'll never be rubbing anything other than your temples with a body like that, or he'll be finding another wife," laughed Darcy.

Alice laughed along with Darcy and got up and adjusted her swimsuit. "I better head back out to my little monsters," said Alice. As she walked out she looked back at me and winked.

"Rhett, would you get the hot dogs out of the fridge? I want to grill them for the kids," asked Darcy.

Hoping I had escaped retribution, I said, "Sure, Honey. In fact go on out with your friends and I'll put the hot dogs on the grill." I leaned over and gave her a kiss and headed to the refrigerator.

It's sad that it didn't bother me more. Maybe it could have been a wake up call. Looking back I sure could have used one.

Things went on pretty normally. We made love and cuddled but I always had those damn stories in the back of my mind. Darcy and I were sitting out on the porch and watched the kids playing in the yard. We sat out often and watched a lot of the people in the neighborhood walk or jog by. We would wave or say hi to just about everyone.

There was one gal my wife didn't like. Her name was Jennifer. She walked by and I waved to her just like I did everyone else. After she waved back, then Darcy said hi to her.

"You know I don't like her. Why did you wave to her?" asked Darcy.

"We waved to everyone. Why do you hate her so much?"

"It's distrust more than hate. I hear she's a slut and she and her husband are swingers."

Her husband worked at the same factory that I did and I heard the same kind of rumors there. He was an ugly sort and a good fifteen years older than her. She was a good looking gal, so we figured that since she liked sex, he used her to get other married couples involved into swinging with them. She definitely could attract the men. What women would see in her husband, Carl, is beyond me. 

It was about a week later when I made my dreaded mistake. Darcy left me a note that she would be taking the kids and her mother over to see her aunt who lived in another town. She probably wouldn't get home till late and for me to fix my own dinner.

I was sitting out on the porch drinking a beer and waving to the walkers. Jennifer was walking by herself and waved at me, and of course I waved back. She stopped and asked where Darcy was? I told her that Darcy had gone to visit her aunt.

"Oh, shoot," said Jenn. "I heard she remodeled the kitchen and I wanted to see it. Would you mind showing it to me?"

I knew I never should have done it. Here was a good looking woman whom my wife didn't like asking to come into my home. She was dressed in kind of net wrap over her breasts and her nipples were showing pressing through. She had on a pair of loose fitting jogging shorts that were four inches below her belly button. Looking at her was making my dick hard.

"Sure, I'll show you the kitchen. I'm sure Darcy wouldn't mind." Damn, why was I so weak!

I opened the door and as she walked past me she accidentally rubbed her hand against my crotch. At least, that is what I tried to convince myself of. She didn't say a word until she walked into the kitchen.

"What a beautiful kitchen. I love the way she has it decorated and tile floors, and all that cupboard space. Tell her it sure looks beautiful." She opened the fridge and asked if she could have a beer? She said she sure was hot.

What's a guy to say? I should have said get out of my house, I love my wife, but instead I said, "Sure, have a cold one."

She took the cold beer and started rubbing it against her tits. I was watching her nipples getting harder and harder. "Hmm! It feels so good. Do you like what you see?"

I was a goner at this point. I walked up to her and planted a kiss on her lips. She set the beer down and put her arms around my neck and kissed me with her mouth open. "Don't start something you're unable to finish," she told me.

I reached up and slid my hand under her skimpy top and grabbed her breast. I wasn't delicate about it. I lowered my mouth to her tit and started sucking hard on her nipple.

"Suck it, Big Boy. Suck that titty. Come on, you can suck harder than that."

Her talk was something that Darcy never did; she wouldn't talk dirty to me. It was kind of a rush. While sucking on her tit, I slid my hand down the front of her shorts. She wasn't wearing any undergarments.

"Did you find that pussy, Big Boy? Go ahead, stick a couple of fingers in. You like it, don't you. Admit it! Finger fucking another man's wife is a real turn on, isn't it? Come on, lover, answer me."

"Yes, I love it! I love fingering you," I answered.

"Are you going to finger fuck me to death or give me that big cock of yours?"

"I'm going to fuck you to death. I'm going to fuck you till you tell me you've had enough." I was too far gone now. I was going to fuck this slut whom my wife hates.

"Let's go into the bedroom. I'm not going to fuck you in the kitchen," she said.

I wasn't going to take her to my marital bed, like that would make a difference. I pushed her into my daughters' room where they both slept on twin beds pushed together. I went quickly into the bathroom and got a big towel and laid it across the bed, hopefully to catch any juices. Jenn lay on the bed and I removed her shorts. Her neatly trimmed pussy was staring me in the face. I quickly jammed two fingers into her pussy with her legs spread wide open.

"Do you like it, big boy? Come give Jenn a good fucking. Let me see that big cock of yours." She kept talking and daring me. "Bring that cock up and put it in Jenn's pussy."

I took off my shorts and underwear and she grabbed my cock. Her ass and pussy were at the edge of the bed and I was half kneeling, half standing as she rubbed the head of my cock against her sopping wet opening.

"Tell Jenn what you want, Honey."

"I want to fuck you," I replied.

"Would you like your wife to be like me and fuck other men?"

"I'm not sure, I don't know," I answered.

She kept rubbing my cock head against her pussy opening. "Are you ready to push your cock in me?"

"God, yes, I want to fuck you now."

She let go of my cock and I was buried in to the hilt. It felt so good.

"You like my pussy, don't you, Honey?"

"Yes, I love it. I love fucking you," I replied

"Now wouldn't you love to see your little wife getting fucked like this by another man?"

I was in fantasy land when I answered. "Yes, I would, I would love to see Darcy taking another cock while I'm fucking you."

"Would you like me to get my husband to come over and give her a hard fucking?"

"Yes, anybody, she needs a good hard fucking."

"Say it then. Tell me you want to see Carl fucking her."

"Yes, I want to see her fucking Carl and any other man. I want her to become a slut like you."

After saying that, I shot the biggest load of my life. Jenn was lying there taking it all and asking for more. Thank God, I had the towel under her ass as the juices came out of her hole. I pulled my still somewhat stiff cock out of her. She got up and had me sit on the bed as she kneeled and took my cum-soaked cock into her mouth. She was sucking our joint juices off my cock. It wasn't long before I shot kind of a mini-load.

Jenn got up and, as I stood up, she grabbed the towel and wiped what leaking juices she could off her pussy. She put her shorts back on and fixed her top.




Regrets



"That was great, lover; we'll have to do that again sometime soon."

It was then when reality hit me. I had just fucked a slut on my kids' bed. I had pretty much reached my sexual bottom.

"No, Jenn, never again. I made a huge mistake. I should never have let you come in. I'm so sorry for what I did."

"Sorry? You've got to be kidding. It was great and I'm looking forward to the swap."

"Get out of my house, Jenn. There won't be any swap." 

She laughed as she left the house. 

I felt terrible, I really did. Sure, fucking another mans wife was something else but now reality set in. I was nothing but a cheating low-life with no will power. Darcy deserved a lot better. I didn't know what to do. Should I confess to Darcy or hope it goes away. I was a nervous wreck. I went in the girls' room and straightened up the bed and picked up the cum soaked towel. 

I wiped a few drops off the hardwood floor that must have dripped out of Jenn's pussy when she was sucking me off. I wasn't sure what to do with the towel. I couldn't leave it for Darcy to find so I decided to wash a load of towels. It would get rid of the evidence. I took a beer and poured some on the kitchen floor and wiped it up with a clean towel. I could use that for my excuse for washing the towels. Besides I could use a beer about then.

When Darcy and the girls got home, I was folding towels.

"What are you doing? Did you wash some clothes?" asked Darcy.

"Just a load of towels. I spilt beer on the floor and used the towels to clean it up. I knew you would get mad that I didn't use paper towels, so I thought I would wash them for you."

"You're right, Honey, but I would have forgiven you. I love you too much to worry over a spilt beer," she said.

Now I felt worse. She was being nice to me and I had just cheated on her. "God, please help me. I don't want her to find out and hurt her." I thought God helped me the first time, maybe he would help me again. Then I thought about my promise to God, "Help me and I will never do it again." But I did. I broke my promise to God and my wife.

A couple of days had gone by and I came home from work to a very different Darcy sitting at the kitchen table when I got home. She looked like she had been crying but now was calm.

"What's the matter, Honey?" I asked.

"Sit down; I have something to ask you. I sent the kids over to Mom's till we are finished talking."

I suspected the worst, and that's what I got.

"Did you fuck that slut, Jenn? I've been married to you and if I'm going to believe anybody, it's going to be you. You know you're a poor liar and I need the truth," she said. "Also you should know that Jenn has never been in our house but she knows what kind of bedspread the girls have on their bed. Now, with that all said, did you fuck her?"

Hell, how could I avoid answering her? She had tears in her eyes and waited for my answer.

"Darcy, it was a mistake. I should have never done it. I'm so sorry; I don't know what to say. Please, I was just too weak. I won't do it again. Please forgive me." I was now crying myself.

"Get out of my house right now. You dirty son-of-a-bitch..."

"Darcy, wait. We can get over this... and... and..."

"Get the fuck out of my house before I go get the gun and shoot you!"

"What about my clothes and stuff?"

"Get the fuck out now! You can come back tomorrow when I'm not here and take your fucking stuff."

"Darcy, I'm so sorry, I really lo.."

"Get out now, you bastard!"

I knew her mood had changed and that I had better leave. I left and got in my truck and drove away. I had no idea where I was going. I also wondered how she found out. Did Jenn call her and why? Was it just to ruin our marriage?

I headed to Mom and Dad's. I told them that Darcy had kicked me out and why. My parents loved Darcy and they told me how disappointed they were in me. They said that I could sleep in the basement for a couple of days till Darcy cooled off. If she didn't let me back in, then I had to find an apartment to live in. They let me know that they were siding with Darcy and she would always be welcome at their home.

I went by the next day to get a few things and Darcy was home but the kids were still at her mom's.

"Darcy, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it. I'm going to the attorney today to file for a divorce. I'm here to ask you a couple of questions."

"Darcy, please give me a chance to explain."

"Okay, explain this! You bring a woman I despise into our house and fuck her. Not as though that isn't enough, but then you say you want to include me in your perverted games and want to see that filthy pig Carl fuck me. Is that true or not?"

"Yes, No, Shit, I mean -- Oh, Christ. I said it but I never meant it. I never want you with another man. You have to believe me."

"Believe you? You've been saying the same thing in our bed, with me. What am I supposed to believe? You, your dreams, your actions, what kind of a man are you that you have a fucking pig come and ask me for sex?"

"What? I never said that to anyone."

"You just told me you said that to your slut girlfriend. Yeah! I know it all. Her fucking pig of a husband came by and asked me for sex."

"What? When? What happened? Please tell me."

"Fine, like you don't know. Carl came by and said he wanted to talk to me. I told him to wait on the porch, while I turned the stove down because I was cooking. I wasn't going to let that bastard in my house. When I came in the kitchen, he came up behind me and squeezed my boob. I screamed and pushed him back and grabbed my butcher knife and he backed away. He was scared and went out the front door. He yelled that you said he could come here and have sex with me and that you wanted to swap wives. Did you say that?"

"I didn't mean it! Jenn asked me during sex and you know how I get. I might have said something like that, but I never meant it."

"You cock sucker! I called Jenn and she told me everything. How you loved fucking her and want to watch other men fuck me. Hell, now I know why you even washed the towels. Rhett, I loved you with all my heart and you fucking stomped on it. I'm going to go to my mom's and I don't want you here when I get back. If you are, I promise I will kill you. We'll talk about the divorce at another time. I can't right now."

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't talk. I just watched the love of my life walk out of my life. I cried and then gathered up a few belongings.

In the days that followed I found an efficiency apartment above the store that we always go to. It was less than a mile from the house. It was big enough for me. It was already furnished so I didn't need to take much with me. It was a cheap place to live but was close to my family.

My sister and brother both sided with Darcy. Why wouldn't they? She was right. I was a fucking weak-willed man who couldn't say no to other women. Darcy's family didn't talk to me much either. Her mom was the only one who still talked to me.

Darcy asked for dissolution on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. She gave me the right to come over and see the kids as often as I wanted, as long as I called first. I didn't take them on weekends since we lived so close. Darcy got pretty much everything, including the house which we barely had any equity in, her car and all the home furnishings. I kept my 401k and my personal things. I paid a pretty hefty child support but I didn't care. My kids weren't going to do without because of my faults.

I didn't care; I lost the only thing that meant anything to me, which was Darcy, only I didn't act like it. I just wanted us back together. I tried to talk with her about staying together but she wouldn't budge on the issue, and who could blame her. She was a great wife and mother who married a prick with no willpower.

It seemed odd stopping by to see my kids but I was lucky Darcy even went along with it. She told her mom that I was always a good father and she wasn't going to deprive me or the girls of seeing each other. Most of the time I played with the girls or once they were both in school, I helped them with their homework. I wanted to stay a big part of their lives. Who knew? Maybe somewhere up the road even Darcy could see I wasn't so bad.

The hardest thing for me when stopping by was seeing Darcy. She always looked so nice and even talked nice to me about anything but us. I wasn't able to touch or hold her or even give her a light kiss on the cheek. I took it out on the girls by nearly hugging them to death.

All in all I didn't think I wasn't a bad person. Who am I kidding? I'm a fucking prick, putting my wife through hell. I loved my family and I loved my now ex-wife. They are still the reason for my existence. I just wish I hadn't been such a weak-willed bastard. I still worked hard and worked all the overtime I could get to help support my family.

---------------------------- 

I remember the day I received my divorce papers in the mail. I walked up to my old house and Darcy came to the door crying. She must have gotten her papers also. She opened the door and said, "Not today, Rhett, I can't see you today. Mom came and took the girls home with her. I just need to be alone."

I started crying again, like I had been doing ever since I got the letter. "Darcy, just so you know, I'm truly sorry and will always love you." I turned and went to the neighborhood bar to get plastered.

I was drunk when I left the bar and got into my truck. I thought about it and decided that I didn't need to get caught driving drunk so I walked. I found myself in front of Jenn and Carl's house. I banged on the door and Carl came to the door.

"Get out here, you son-of-a-bitch, so I can beat your fucking ass," I yelled.

"You're drunk; get off my property before I'll call the police," replied Carl.

"Listen, you prick, you helped ruin my marriage and if I ever see you near my house or around my wife again, I will kill you, you perverted maggot."

Here I was blaming this man for ruining my marriage. I knew it was me who did it, but this prick did approach my wife and I was drunk.

I staggered off the porch and headed home -- to my apartment that is. The walk probably did me good. I got to the apartment and passed out. I heard the alarm clock go off for work the next morning.

Life went on and I saw the kids as often as I could without being overly disruptive. Darcy and I were getting along pretty good. Sometimes she even asked me to stay for dinner. We even took the kids to the show together and did a few other things. I was never allowed to spend the night and of course never allowed to hug or kiss the woman I loved.

Holidays were somewhat of a problem. I would always see the kids and then they would visit their grandparents on both sides. I went to my wife's parents' house one time, but got such a cold shoulder, I never went back to their house for the holidays. My mother, whom we call mum instead of mom so we can tell which mother we are talking about, is the only one to treat me nice. I pretty much get the cold shoulder from everyone else.

Even at my parents' house, I feel like the third wheel. I know my parents haven't gotten over my actions. Hell, I haven't gotten over it yet. I decided that from now on, I would just go to my parents' house alone during the holidays. If Darcy brings the kids later, that's fine. I was so tired of explaining my stupidity to everyone.

I've been working longer and longer hours lately. I've been trying to visit with the kids at least twice during the week and to see them at least one day on the weekend. I would take them to see my mom and dad at least once a week.

On Wednesday, I heard that my sister and a couple of her female friends were going to have a girls' night out and invited Darcy to go with them and she accepted. Believe it or not I was dumbfounded. I never thought about Darcy going out and meeting another man. I guess I just assumed that given enough time she would take me back. What an idiot I had become.

I called Brad, a friend of mine who was also divorced - his wife had cheated on him - and I asked him if he wanted to go out Saturday night and have a couple of drinks. We set up a time and I told him I would pick him up.

I knew the girls would go bowling and then probably to the lounge next door to the bowling alley. I was right and when we arrived at the lounge I saw my sister, Darcy and three other women with them. I recognized the other gals as friends of my sister. Darcy was the only single gal at the table. 

Brad and I sat down and ordered a couple of beers. The band started playing and I went to get up to ask Darcy to dance. That is when she first noticed me and looked surprised. I took two steps before my sister stepped in front of me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" asked Sue.

"I was just going to ask Darcy to dance," I replied.

"Why, Rhett? Why are you here? It took us three months to convince Darcy to get out and have a little fun and as soon as she goes out, you're right there to spoil it for her. Why don't you drink your beer, go home and let Darcy forget about her problems for one night."

I knew Sue was right as I turned around to go sit back down. The band was playing a fast song and some guy walked up to Darcy and asked her to dance. She looked over at me and then got up to dance. I knew she mainly got up to spite me and it was working. She was moving her beautiful ass all over the floor. I knew she was shaking it especially because I was there.

The song stopped and she was headed back to her seat when the man asked her to continue dancing. It was a slow love song. She kind of shook her head as if to say no but then went back out on the dance floor with the guy. It hurt me, it really did but I deserved everything that happened to me.

The man pulled her closer and she didn't seem overly happy about it. After a minute or so he slid his hand down to her ass and she pushed it back up. When he did it a second time she pushed him away, called him a pig, and went back to her seat.

He laughed and headed for the men's room. Brad had asked my sister to dance and they were still on the dance floor. Brad knew better than to mess with Sue so I knew they were just dancing.

I followed the man into the men's room and, while he was pissing in the urinal, I quickly grabbed him by the nape of the neck and slammed his head into the block wall twice. I then threw him onto his back on the floor and kicked him twice in the gonads. He just laid there a total mess. He never even got a good look at me. I turned and walked back into the bar. The dance had ended and Brad was walking Sue back to her table. I told Brad to come with me quickly. 

What had I just done was stalking my wife. I reflected that I was the definition of a stalker and turning into a total jerk now. 

"What's going on, Rhett?" he asked me as all the girls looked on.

"Just come with me. I'll explain later."

We headed out the door and into our car. When we got about six blocks away, we heard the police cars. I explained to Brad what I did and he told me how stupid that was. 

"Have you lost your mind? Let her go! You're going to get locked up if you're not careful. You can't make her love you; it's something that she has to choose."

I was almost back to Brad's house when my phone rang. It was Darcy.

"What the hell did you do? The police came to our table since I was the last one to dance with him. I told them I didn't even know the guy. What is the matter with you, Rhett?"

"He grabbed your ass and when you told him no, he did it again. It bothered me."

"Bothered you? You're the fantasy man, remember? What the hell would you have done if I fucked him?" asked Darcy.

"I'd have killed him," I answered.

"I don't need your help, Rhett. I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"You're right, I'm sorry, I will never bother you again when you go out. If I ever see you, I'll leave the place. I can't seem to do anything right." I hung up the phone.

-------------------------------- 

I knew that Darcy was now starting to date and went out with the girls at work. She didn't go out a lot or try to flaunt it. I guess she was trying to start over.

I decided to go out and have a few dates myself. I dated probably twice a month with women who were probably as lonely for companionship as I was. I had sex with them but it wasn't love; it was just sex. One night I was in the store downstairs from where I lived and in came Alice.

"Hi there, stranger, long time no see. Still giving those massages?"

"Hi, Alice, you're looking as good as ever," I said while looking over her nice body.

"Sorry to hear about you and Darcy, but shit happens. I should know - I'm divorced too, you know. I sure could use one of those temple massages right now. I came to the store to buy some Advil."

"I live upstairs if you care to come up. I can massage those temples among other things." I wanted her to know that she would be getting a full body massage if she came up.

"It sounds great. Lead the way," replied Alice.

She did buy the Advil and I bought a twelve pack of beer. I let her go upstairs first so I could watch that ass. I had to wonder if this was cheating. Then I remembered I was divorced and Darcy was out on the dating scene or at least out with the girls.

As soon as we walked in the door, Alice turned around and kissed me.

"I've wanted you for a very long time. My kids are with their dad so I can take as long as necessary to get that full body massage."

I did give her the massage and I had sex with her three times. It was nearly three in the morning before she left. She was an excellent fuck but I missed the cuddling I always had with Darcy.

Over the next year Alice and I got together a number of times. We both knew up front that it was just the sex which made it easier on both of us to deal with.

I kept in close contact with my parents and of course Darcy's mom. I still saw my kids three times a week unless they needed something special. I went to all the school functions. Darcy would be there with the kids. I would always sit in the back, watch my kids and go home. I tried sitting with Darcy one time but she said she would prefer I sit somewhere else.

It had been three years and Thanksgiving was approaching. Darcy was going to take the kids as usual to her moms and I would be headed to my parents' for dinner. The girls asked me to make sure Grandma Parks, my mom, saved them some noodles. They loved her noodles. I promised them that I would bring some home for them.

When I mentioned it to Mom it brought tears to her eyes. She loved the girls and asked me if maybe they could come to our house for Christmas dinner. I told her I would ask Darcy and get back with her on it.

The day after Thanksgiving I took the girls the noodles and they called their Grandma Parks to thank her. While they were thanking her Darcy handed me a quarter of a pumpkin pie. 

"Mum said to give this to you. She knows it's your favorite and you told her one time that she made the best pumpkin pie."

"She's right, it is my favorite and I do believe hers is the best I've ever had. It was nice of her to think about me."

Every woman out there has something special that she cooks. My mom's is homemade noodles, Darcy's mum is pumpkin pie. Every woman that I know that can cook has her own specialty. No matter how much you try, it will never taste as good by someone else. My mom always told me that it was the extra love that she put in her noodles. I believe her.

Over the weekend Darcy was complaining about her side hurting her. I told her she ought to see a doctor. I paid extra money at work to make sure Darcy had good insurance. She told me if the pain didn't go away, she would see a doctor.

On Thursday, I was at work when I received a phone call. I never get calls at work unless it's an emergency. It was Mum, Darcy's mother. She called to tell me that the school called and they rushed Darcy to the hospital. She had a terrible pain in her side. I told her I would see her at the hospital. I told my boss that I had an emergency and had to leave. I also asked him if I could have the next day off.




Regrets



I rushed to the hospital and Mum was in the waiting room. She told me that Harry, her husband would be there shortly. The doctor came out and told us the news.

"Darcy had her an inflamed appendix burst. Luckily it was caught in time and she is being prepped for surgery as we speak. The operation will take less than an hour and then she will be in recovery for another hour or so. I expect that she will be here for a few days. We want to make sure there are no complications."

The doctor left and I walked into the hospital chapel to pray for Darcy. I was also asking for forgiveness for myself. I felt in some way that I might even be responsible for her bad appendix. I was praying and crying when a man tapped me lightly on the shoulder.

"She will be alright, son." I looked up and it was my ex-father, Harry. He hasn't spoken fifteen words to me in the past three years. We both said a little prayer for Darcy and then went out and sat with Mum.

We all sat in silence until Mum asked me about the kids. I told her that my mom was going to pick them up from school and take them to get a change of clothes and take them to her house. She would see that they were taken to school the next day.

"Your mom's a fine woman. How has she been doing lately?" asked Harry.

"She and Dad are doing fine. They were hoping maybe to see you two during the coming holidays. They think an awful lot of you and of course they love Darcy and the girls."

"Tell her we'll give her a call about getting together. They are nice people and your dad is a great partner to have when playing cards. The women can never beat us," he laughed.

"Harry, you know that's not true. We have beat you a few times," she smiled at her husband."

The doctor came back out and said that the operation went well and that Darcy was in recovery. She would be moved up to her room in a little while. I said in a low voice, "Thank God," as a tear welled up in my eyes.

Harry told his wife that he was going to go get something to eat. He didn't have a chance to eat lunch. He asked us if we wanted to come along and I told him that I wasn't hungry at the moment. Mum asked him to just bring her back a coffee. We headed up to Darcy's room. While we were waiting for her I needed to ask Mum a question.

"Mum, for these last three years I have been shunned by almost everyone in your family and mine. Everyone but you. Could you tell me why you haven't ridiculed me like everyone else?"

"Rhett, what I'm about to tell you goes no further. Will you promise me?"

"Of course, Mum. I would never divulge your secret to anyone. It's just that you are so nice to me, compared to everyone else. If I didn't love Darcy and the girls so much, I'd be long gone."

She took a deep breath and looked me straight in the eyes. "Shortly after Harry and I got married, he went into the service. I was young and lonely and had a short term affair. It hurt me so much that when Harry came home I told him. I couldn't build our life on a lie or secret like that. He didn't say a word but just stared at me for the longest time. I thought for sure I had lost him.

"Then he said to me, 'Do you promise from this day forward never to cheat on me ever again as long as we both shall live?' I said, 'Harry, I love you with all my heart and soul, and yes, I will be true to you for the rest of my days, if you will forgive me.' He said that we would never mention it again or talk about it, and we haven't."

"I promise never to mention it, Mum. I sure wish Darcy would have given me that option. I've grown up a lot in the last few years."

"Rhett, every person looks at cheating a little differently. It is wrong and ruins most marriages. All people have their own way of dealing with it. In my case, Harry forgave me. In yours, Darcy is having a hard time with it. Only time will tell."

They brought Darcy up to her room. She was still pretty much out of it but Mum talked to her and gave her a kiss. I sat down in the chair next to her bed and held on to her hand. I don't even know if she knew if I was there until she turned her head to me. 

I had tears in my eyes when she asked, "Where are the girls?" That was the kind of person she was. Always worried about everyone else. 

I explained about Mom taking care of them and she had only one thing to do and that was to get well. She looked down and saw me holding her hand. I was afraid she was going to pull it away but instead she just smiled and fell asleep. I didn't want to let go but I had to use the restroom. I gently laid her hand down and got out of my chair.

She slept for the next couple of hours. In the evening a lot of family and friends came to see her. No one stayed long, because they knew she needed her rest. After everyone had left I sat back in a chair and let her sleep. I just wanted her to know that I was there if she should wake up. Mum and Harry said their good nights to her and said they would see her in the morning.

When the nurse said that the visiting hours were over, I told her that I was Darcy's husband and I wasn't going anywhere. This hospital had a policy that a family member could stay but had to sleep in the chair. The next thing I knew I was out like a light. I woke up a couple of times during the night and saw that Darcy was sleeping. She looked so peaceful.

I awoke the next morning when the doctors and nurses were making their rounds. Darcy looked over at me and asked, "Have you been here all night?"

I nodded my head and said, "This way I can tell everyone I slept with you."

She actually smiled at me. I told her that I had to go home and clean up a little but that I would be back later to see her. I wanted to try and kiss her but there were too many nurses doing their jobs.

I went home and cleaned up and stopped by my mom's to make sure the kids got off to school alright. Mom gave me a couple of pictures that the kids had drawn to take to Darcy. She mentioned that Mum and Harry had called to let her know that Darcy was doing okay.

I went back to the hospital to see Darcy. Harry went to work and I sat there with Mum. I gave Darcy the pictures that the girls had drawn. They had written, 'Get well soon, Mommy' on their pictures. Darcy had dozed off and Mum and I had a couple of nice discussions. I asked her who Darcy had been dating lately and she gave me that look.

"Rhett, you know better than to even ask that question. If Darcy wants to tell you her personal business, then it's up to her." 

I walked out and got a soda and then walked back into her room and sat down. She told me what the doctors had to say. She asked me to make a few phone calls for her. She needed to cancel some appointments and she wanted the school to know she would have to be off for about six weeks. It would take her into the holiday season so the doctor told her not to go back till after the New Year. She had a lifting restriction.

She handed a note to her mother and asked her to make a call for her. I figured it was her date. I didn't figure she wanted me to make that call for her. Mum and I sat around and talked to Darcy. Every now and then she would get a visitor. Most were relatives or work friends.

This guy came in and walked up and kissed her gently on the lips. I guess it was more of a peck but it caught my attention. Darcy kind of looked over at me. I just turned back and talked to Mum, but inside I was jealous and my stomach was turning.

"How are you doing, Darcy? Is everything okay? If you didn't want to go out Saturday, you didn't have to do anything this drastic."

"Jeff, you know Mum and this is Rhett, my ex-husband." 

He said hi to Mum and just nodded hello to me.

Mum suggested that she and I go to the cafeteria and get a bite to eat. I knew better than to say no. I really didn't want to be there right then. We headed to the cafeteria and Mum thanked me for not making it any harder on Darcy than it already was. After we got done eating I had some things I had to do and I didn't really want to be there anymore. We headed back up to Darcy's room.

"Darcy, I told Mom I would pick up the girls. The doctors say you will be getting out tomorrow and Mum said she is taking you home. If you need me for anything, please call. I'll be there in a jiffy."

"Thank you, Rhett," she said. "Thank you for being there for me."

"Can I kiss you goodbye?" I asked.

"I'm probably too weak to fight you off."

I leaned over and kissed her. It was a very gentle warm loving kiss. "Thank you, Darcy," I said as I turned and walked out the door.

For the next few days, I came over everyday after I got off work. I cooked dinner for the kids and for Darcy. I waited on her hand and foot. Darcy was always watching me very closely. I hoped she could see that I was really trying and that I had changed. I stayed to make sure I did any lifting she needed done. After I saw the kids to bed, I would say good night. I didn't even try to kiss her. Things were going too good to rush anything.

Darcy told me she had done her Christmas shopping but wondered if I could help her wrap the presents and help the girls decorate the house for the holidays. I was happy that she asked me to help her; I just needed to prove to her that I had changed, I had grown-up. She put things in boxes and I had the girls wrap them. They didn't even know they were wrapping their own gifts. It made Darcy laugh and of course that made me feel really good.

I asked Darcy if she and the girls would come to my mom's for Christmas dinner. I told her how much Mom loved her and the girls and asked me to ask her. She said she would get back to me after she talked to her mum.

Christmas Eve arrived and all the decorations were up and the presents were wrapped. I showed up at the house. The last couple of years I spent the holidays at home by myself. Darcy had called me and asked me to come over.

"I talked to Mum and she said for you to come over tonight and celebrate Christmas Eve with us. It's not right spending it alone when you have family. Call your mom and tell her to set three extra plates for tomorrow and to make extra noddles." I had tears in my eyes as I walked to the phone.

"Mom, Darcy said to set three extra plates for dinner tomorrow and you will probably have to make extra noodles." Mom asked to talk to Darcy.

"Yes, Mom, we love you too... right... okay, Merry Christmas to you too Mom, and tell Dad we'll be there."

We went to Darcy's parents' and they treated me nice. It wasn't like old times but definitely better than it has been. At one point when I went to the bathroom, I heard Darcy and her mom talking in another room.

"Honey, it's none of my business but I have to tell you that he still really loves you."

"I know, Mum, I know."

When it was time to leave, Mum handed me a whole pumpkin pie. "Merry Christmas, Rhett, this is for you." I gave her a hug and a kiss.

"Thank you and Merry Christmas to you too, Mum."

We left and I took Darcy and the girls home. "Do you want to come in for a Christmas Eve beer?" asked Darcy.

"I'd love too," I replied. I'd do anything to be with my family for an extra five minutes.

The girls started getting ready for bed. "Good night, Dad, see you in the morning. Be here by seven or we'll call you." They hugged me and kissed me goodnight. Boy, they were growing so fast.

I would always come over to watch the kids open presents on Christmas morning. It's the one thing that made Christmas what it is to me. I was sitting on the couch, looking at the tree and thinking what a lucky guy I was just to be there with my family. Darcy handed me a beer and sat next to me.

"Rhett, thank you for helping with the kids and helping me with Christmas this year."

"Honey, don't thank me for doing what I'm supposed to do and want to do. I know you don't want to hear it, but I love you. I always have and always will. I did some really stupid things and am paying for it dearly. I was weak-willed and wrong. I was a kid that had to hit bottom and see what he lost before that stupid light came on in my head. I can't change the past. God, I wish I could. Maybe I was just too immature, but by losing you, I grew up."

She just stared at me. She wasn't saying a word. I finished my beer and started to get up.

"Rhett, it's stupid for you to drive a half mile and get up in a few hours and come back. Do you want to sleep on the couch? Then you'll be here in the morning. Besides you might see Santa Claus. He comes tonight, you know." She was smiling at me.

She got up and got me a pillow and a blanket and I laid on the couch. I could hear her taking a shower and smell the scent of her perfume. The only lights left on in this part of the house was the Christmas tree. I laid there as I heard her come out of the bathroom.

She came in and looked at me. She had on a red silk and lace negligee that I had bought her four years ago. I stood up and looked at her.

"You look so beautiful."

"Kiss me, Rhett, kiss me now."

I kissed her and I kissed her again and again. She looked very nervous.

"What's the matter, Honey? Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not sure what to do. I miss you so much and want you to make love to me. Right now I don't know if I'm doing the right thing."

"I love you, Darcy, I want you to trust me but I don't deserve your trust. I will promise you that I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I need that second chance to prove my love for you. Only you can grant it to me."

She didn't say a word but took my hand and guided me through the hallway and into her bedroom. The only light was from a nightlight that she kept on. We closed the door and she slipped off her negligee. I stripped completely also. She laid on the bed and I sat next to her and leaned over and kissed her.

I slid my hand down her belly and onto her mound. I pushed my fingers forward into her moist sex. I couldn't believe how wet she was. I then did something that I have never done to any woman. I got up and got between her legs and started eating her out.

"Rhett, what are you doing? No, that's so dirty... but feels so good." She was whispering.

"Honey, I have never done this to any woman ever. But I love you so much and I can't believe you taste so good."

I buried my face into her pussy. Sucking, licking, tonguing, and kissing, whatever it takes to make her happy. She was bucking while holding onto my head and I felt her climax. I felt her juices all over my face as she moaned to high heaven. 

When she let go of my head I reached down and took my t-shirt and wiped some of the juices off my face. I climbed up next to her and kissed her open-mouthed, at the same time rubbing her breasts, gently massaging them. 

I pulled my head back and she said, "You know, I do taste pretty good. You can eat me out anytime. I never thought it would be so good or I would have let you do it years ago."

I climbed up and put my cock between her legs. "Darcy, do you want me to wear a condom?" I asked.

"Only if you think you need to. I know I don't need it," she said.

It had been at least four months since I had been with anyone and it was Alice. I figured I was pretty safe. I guided my cock into her wet pussy. She squealed at my first entrance. 

"God, it's been so long," she whispered.

I started out with a slow gentle pumping action. As I sped up she met me stride for stride. We were like two teenagers doing it for the first time. She put both her hands on my ass as I shot the biggest load of my life into the pussy of the woman I loved.

-------------------------------------- 

On Christmas morning, the sunlight was shining into the room. Darcy and I were both awake. We could hear Amber and Britt talking.

"Britt, something special has happened."

"I know, Amber. Santa came, right?"

"No, something even bigger."

"Okay, what's bigger than Santa on Christmas Day?"

"Daddy is in bed with mommy. He must have spent the night."

"Do you think it means he might be staying?"

"I don't know, but let's go surprise him and mom."

The two girls came running into the room. "Merry Christmas, Mom, Merry Christmas, Dad. Hurry up and get dressed. Santa's been here and we have a lot of presents to open." They ran out of the room as we both got up and I got dressed except for my t-shirt.

Darcy looked at me. "You forgot to go back to the couch, didn't you?"

"No, I did go sleep on the couch. I snuck back in here about a half hour ago to surprise the girls." I laughed.

Darcy was laughing with me as she put on her negligee. Damn, she looked good. We went out and opened presents and had a great time. The girls were taking their presents to their room when Darcy handed me a small present the size of a paperback book.

"What is this? Another present?" I asked.

"Rhett, I gave it a lot of thought since my surgery. I want you in my and my girls' lives. I'll take you back but there are conditions."

"Anything, Darcy, I'll do whatever it takes."

"For starters, you can't ask me anything about my personal life since our divorce and I won't ask you about yours. We can have mutual friends but Alice is not allowed back over here since she got that full body massage she always wanted."

"You know about that..."

"Also, you have to read this book." I quickly opened it.

"The Lorena Bobbit Story." For those readers who haven't heard of her, she cut off her husbands dick with a knife.

"Yes, I want you to know that, if you ever cheat on me again, what I will do to you will be much worse." She wasn't smiling; she meant what she was saying. "Now, while you and the girls clean up the wrapping mess, I'll make us breakfast. Are you willing to take the gamble?"

"Darcy, I love you and you've given me a second chance. Of course I'll take it." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her with love. God, how I had missed kissing and holding her.

We were eating when the phone rang. I figured it was Mum calling Darcy so I answered the phone. It was a male voice.

"Darcy, this call is for you?" I handed her the phone. I could only hear half the conversation.

"Hello... oh, hi, and Merry Christmas to you too... it was my ex-husband... No, I'm not going to be dating anymore. I'm going to work on my marriage and make my family whole again... Thank you for being a good friend... right... okay... and Happy New Year to you also... bye."

She never said a word about who it was, but I figured it was probably Jeff. The girls were looking at their mom as Britt asked, "Mom, is Dad coming home to live with us?"

"Yes, it kind of looks that way."

"Boy, this is already a great Christmas and it just started. Welcome home, Dad." Both Darcy and I had tears in our eyes.

Britt was right - it really was a great day. When we told my parents at dinner, Mom started bawling. She made us all cry. It's like she welcomed me back into the family instead of Darcy.

After dinner we went over to Darcy's parents' house. Mum was also a very happy lady. What Darcy didn't know was her dad asked me into another room for a man to man talk.

"Rhett, I love you like a son, but you hurt my little girl. She is giving you a second chance. Don't fuck it up. If you hurt her again, you will have to deal with me. Everyone deserves a second chance, but you won't get a third. Welcome back to the family, Son!"

"Thank you, Sir, and I realize what I lost. Believe me, I won't mess it up again." 

Her dad has hardly ever spoken to me about personal things. I knew he meant what he had said.

In the following days I moved what little I had back into our home. I asked Darcy when we were going to get remarried and she told me March 31. It was our original anniversary and she wanted to keep it on the same date.

Darcy asked me if I wanted to go anywhere for New Year's Eve.

"I would prefer to just stay home and celebrate with you and the girls. We could play games and maybe rent a movie. Shortly after mid-night I want to take you to bed and start the year off right by making love to you."




Regrets



With a tear in her eye, she said, "I would love that too." So that's exactly what we did. After the girls went to sleep, Darcy and I were going to try to do an all-nighter. We didn't make it but it sure was fun trying.

Life went on and was good. We were a family again. In March we rented a little hall and all our relatives and close friends were back to see us get married again. The only thing different was that our girls were her bride's maids and my dad was my best man.

The ceremony was great and I said loudly the part, 'Till death us do part'. It brought a smile to Darcy's face. I loved to see her smile. After the wedding and at the hall Darcy pulled me aside and gave me another little present. I opened it to find that it was a cell phone.

"Honey, I have a cell phone," I said.

"This one is special. If you ever get an urge and you are afraid you can't handle it, there is a number you can call." She turned on the phone and went to the address book. "You see, Bobbit one is our home phone and Bobbit two is my cell phone. You call it and I will be there to get you out of trouble. I'm really trying to help you here," she smiled.

"Honey, you look so beautiful in that dress. I'm a very lucky man to have you."

"Good thing we didn't get married in September then." 

"Why's that, Darcy?"

"Because I would be blown up like a balloon by then."

"What are you saying? Are you pregnant? I thought you always took birth control pills? I'm so happy, I'm going to be a daddy again. How did this happen? No, I know how it happened but when. Does anyone else know?" 

"Easy, Rhett, I'll try to answer all these questions for you." She was almost laughing. 'Yes, I'm pregnant. It was probably from that almost all-nighter on New Year's Eve since our son Brett will be born around September 30th and no, no one else knows. I thought the baby's father should be the first to know. Now, let's go tell the grandparents."

Authors note: Most readers hate cheating spouses as do I, but every now and then I believe a person should be given a second chance. This is a real world we live in and cheating is the biggest cause of broken marriages. I feel good when I see a couple make it after given a second chance. Did Darcy deserve better? Of course she did, but that's what happens in the real world. A man cheating on his wife is every bit as bad as a woman cheating on her husband.

*

I know many readers will have mixed emotions after reading this story. The ones that reconciled with their mates and the ones that split up. Rhett and Darcy are still together today and Rhett really did learn his lesson and he did grow up. Feel free to leave a comment.

Thank you for reading my story

Comments are always welcome

DG Hear 



Regrets - Darcy's Story



Many readers have wrote me and wanted to know Darcy's side. So here is her story. A big 'Thank You' goes out to my editors, LadyCibelle and Techsan, who give me guidance, wisdom and are darn good editors.

*

My husband Rhett wrote a story, 'Regrets', to tell you about our life. A number of people wanted to know why I took him back. Here's my side of the story.

Rhett and I were high school sweethearts. After graduation he started college and we dated whenever he was home. I tried to take birth control pills but had an allergic reaction to them and stopped taking them. We used condoms most of the time. Once or twice we slipped up. I figured that's when I got pregnant with our first daughter Amber. We got married, but life for me was still great. Two years later, we had Brittany. She wasn't an accident. We had a pretty normal life: things were tight and money was always an issue.

Rhett was going to school but dropped out due to our financial situation. His dad got him a great job at the local automotive plant. He was making really good money. I was able to pick up a part-time job at the local school. I worked in the cafeteria. Together we were able to make ends meet and eventually bought a home. It had three bedrooms and even had a nice pool. I knew we had found our dream home together.

After the birth of the girls our love life dropped off pretty drastically. Between working, cleaning, taking care of the girls, and everything else that came up, it took its toll on me. I just wasn't in the mood for sex after working and cleaning all day. Sleep was the first thing on my mind. I often thought if he would help me a little more, he would get a little more. I think a lot of young couples go through that stage. The husband's mother always did everything for him and he expected his wife to do the same.

As far as being a good lover, Rhett was that. Other than some petting, I had never been with another man. To me, it didn't get any better; I was more than satisfied with making love to Rhett. He seemed to really care that I had an orgasm. I had everything from mini to major, depending on our moods. We made love in about all positions except anal and oral.

We bought a computer and Rhett started going out to adult web sites. He started asking me strange things in our bed like, "Do you want other men? Ever do it with a black man? Do you like showing yourself off to other guys?" He even said a few worse things. I was getting a little worried about him. After one of these bizarre episodes, I told him, "Brett, Honey, I don't want other men. All I want is you. I promise you that I will never cheat on you with God as my witness." I was thinking that maybe someone had lied to him about me. I wanted him to know he could trust me.

He started acting a little weird around me. Call it women's intuition, but I felt something was wrong. He went out with the guys and before even kissing me, he would wash up or shower. I started to watch him closer to see if he had a problem. We would sit outside watching the girls play and wave to the neighbors walking or jogging. One day I saw him waving to a slut named Jennifer. I had found out at work that she and her husband were swingers. He was a total loser and she dressed about as slutty as she could get away with in our town. I told Rhett she was bad news and to stay away from her.

One day I invited a few of the neighbor girls over for a swim since Rhett called and would be working overtime. Some of the gals even brought over their kids. We were having a good time. One gal named Alice said she had a headache. I sent her in to get a couple of aspirins and wondered what was taking her so long. I went in and there she was with Rhett. He had told me that he had just got home but by the look of her swimsuit top, which needed adjusting, it didn't seem like he had just arrived. I didn't say anything because I wasn't positive and wasn't about to start an argument without any facts. Alice went back out to the pool and I just stared at Rhett. I remember them saying something about him rubbing her temples and I said, "That better be all he rubs."

He quickly said he would grill the hot dogs for the kids and I guess I let it slide. I was starting to get concerned about our marriage. Maybe it wasn't as strong as I thought. I know that talking with some of the other mothers that most families had similar problems to ours.

It was about a week later when the shit hit the fan. Carl, the pervert, Jennifer's husband, was at my door. He asked to speak to me. I was cooking so I told him to wait and I would be right back, I didn't want that pervert in my house. I went into the kitchen to turn the burners down on the stove and all of a sudden I felt a hand grab my tit. I swung around and there was Carl with a depraved grin on his face.

I pushed him back, grabbed a butcher knife and swung it at him. "Get the fuck out of my house, you perverted son-of-a-bitch," I screamed.

He looked scared as I approached him. He quickly moved backward out the door. I was screaming obscenities at him while he stood in my yard.

"You husband sent me here. He wanted to swap partners with me and Jenny. If you don't believe me call Jen and ask her."

"You immoral, warped mother-fucker, if you ever come near me or my house again, I promise you I'll cut your fucking balls off!"

He went running down the street to his house.

When my heartbeat returned to normal I took a couple of deep breaths and called the bastard's wife. She told me that she was at my house and had sex with my husband. She said that Rhett told her he would love to see me fucking another man and sucking his cock. According to Jen he even said that Carl could come and fuck me.

I felt totally betrayed. I told her that if I saw either her or her perverted husband at my house I would shoot them both; then I slammed down the phone. I just sat there and cried. I couldn't believe Rhett would say such a thing. I decided to call my mum and have her keep the kids for a while longer until I had a chance to hear Rhett's side of the story.

When Rhett came home I was sitting at the table crying. He asked me what was wrong and I told him about the conversation with Jen. He broke down and told me that he did have sex with her. When I asked him about including me in his perverted lifestyle, he tried to make excuses. He told me that it was his fantasies talking. I told him to get the fuck out of my house. What man who loves his wife would want her being manhandled and fucked by other men?

He kept trying to tell me that he didn't mean it. He didn't want other men being intimate with me.

"Please forgive me, Darcy. I didn't mean it. I love you."

"You self-centered mother-fucking bastard. All you care about is yourself and your fucking dick. Get the fuck out of my house right now before I shoot your sorry ass. I want nothing more to do with you." He left and I was crying. I needed someone to talk to, so I called my Mum.

I talked to my mum and explained some of what happened. My family stood by me at every step. Other than mum, my family hated Rhett for what he had done. They kind of treated him as an outcast. Even his family acted nicer toward me than they did him.

At first I was glad that he was treated badly because of what he had done to our family. I went to the lawyer's office and filed for a divorce. I asked for everything and pretty much got it. He didn't fight it at all. He knew he was the sole cause of our failed marriage. After awhile when cooler heads prevailed, I kept an eye on him. I now both hated and loved the same man, if that's possible.

We set up an agreement for him to see the girls. They loved their father and he was a good father to them. He stopped by to see them a couple of times a week. Usually he took them to his parents' house or out somewhere one day each weekend. He was there for them during any school functions. I remember always seeing him in the back row. Our agreement was no interaction between him and me, no kissing, hugging, touches of any kind. He abided by the rules.

Many times he asked for a second chance. My answer was always, "No." He cheated on me and he had to pay the price. The worst day of my life came when I received my copies of the divorce paper. My marriage was over. I had Mum take the kids that day; I needed to be alone. I cried my heart out. Rhett stopped by to see the girls but I remember telling him, "Not today."

I cried myself to sleep that night. I decided that starting the next day I would try to forget about the bastard and make a great life for me and the girls.

It's hard to explain unless you've been through it. I loved this man with all my heart and he broke it; it was as though he stomped on it. People tried to get me to start dating and go out but I always refused. I didn't just want a man, I wanted my Rhett back and my life back the way it was before the cheating. He kept asking for second chances and I kept refusing. I couldn't take that chance of him doing it again to me. You see, I have two distinct personalties. There is the sweet homemaker and mother who looks after her home and family. It's the one I prefer to be, and it's the one everyone loves.

The other personality is 'Psycho Bitch'. You mess with me and you take your chances. I'm like a mother lion protecting her cubs. I've beaten up a couple of people who made the mistake and messed with me. It takes a lot to unleash me but it does happen. When I first started dating, this one guy didn't understand what 'No' meant. He tried to force sex on me and I was able to pepper spray him and kick him in his gonads. He never bothered me again. Also I cut a man once for grabbing my ass when I was sitting with some girlfriends. I couldn't believe the prick did it. He literally grabbed my ass and said, "What are you going to do about it?" and started laughing.

My girlfriends knew he went too far as I grabbed the steak knife and cut his arm. He called me a Psycho Bitch and left the bar/restaurant. I'm just telling you about this happening so you can see that I really held my cool when I found out about Rhett cheating on me. I could have killed him when I first found out about his cheating. I had to get out of the house before I got my pistol and shot him. My daddy got it for me and showed me how to use it. He was a war vet and a hell of a shot.

It was over a year before I even went out with my girlfriends. Rhett's sister Sue was one of my good friends and asked me to go bowling with her and her girlfriends. I was having a good time. I wasn't much of a bowler but just getting out was nice. One of the girls told us a cute joke explaining apples and wine.

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but are easy to pick. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right person to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree and get the best apples!" We all laughed but there was a lot of truth in what she said. A lot of men were like Rhett and just wanted the easy fuck. She then explained men to us.

"Now men... men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with."

It made me think of Rhett and maybe I didn't stomp him enough. It was the way my life went. Every time someone mentioned men or cheating or marriage, I always thought of Rhett. Even when they talked about love, I still thought about Rhett.

We headed over to the lounge and were all sitting having a drink and talking. I looked over and saw Rhett and his friend Brad sitting there. I had to wonder if he was stalking me or if it was a coincidence. It changed my mood considerably. He got up and started toward our table. Sue, his sister, got up and talked to him until he went and sat back down. I guess she told him he shouldn't be there and to leave me alone. Some guy asked me to dance and normally I would have said, "No" but since Rhett was there I agreed to dance. It was a fast number and I shook my little ass all over the place just to tick Rhett off. I knew he was watching me.

After the song ended a slow number began. The man asked me to dance with him. At first I said no because I haven't been close with men since Rhett. I decided to hell with it and decided to dance with this guy. He was holding me closer than I cared but I didn't say anything. I knew that Rhett was staring at me. The clod decides to take a few liberties and puts his hand on my ass. I pushed it back up and told him, "I don't think so." He did it again and I started to get pissed. I pushed him backward away from me and headed for my table. I didn't look at Brett; I was more than a little pissed.

After the song ended, Sue and Brad were coming back to the table. I guess they were dancing. They were friends and Brad would know better than to mess with Sue. About that time, Rhett grabbed Brad and told him, "Let's get out of here." No one, not even Brad knew what was going on. They left and within minutes the police were there.

The officer came to our table and asked if I knew the man that had been beaten up in the men's room. I explained to them that I had only danced with him once and didn't even know his name. He was taken out by an ambulance. His forehead was busted open and according to the bar rumor, his privates were out and kicked a couple of times. We all suspected it was Rhett but kept quiet. After all it was Sue's brother and my ex-husband. I thought about telling the police that it was probably Rhett just to get his ass thrown in jail. I decided against it. I still had this love/hate thing going and a lot of mood swings.

I called him on his cell phone and he admitted doing it - beating up the guy. He told me that he saw the guy grab my ass twice and it pissed him off. I remember saying something like, "Isn't that why we're divorced? You wanted to watch other guys having their way with me? What would you have done if I fucked the guy?"

"I'd have killed him," replied Rhett.

I had mixed feelings after hearing that. I was glad to see that Rhett would protect me but at the same time, he was taking my freedom, my chance to get away from him. I remember telling him, "Rhett, I can take care of myself. I don't need you anymore." 

He told me that he would stay out of my personal life and if he saw me out that he would leave the place. It looked like we were finally getting on with our lives.

I know after that day that he started going out. It wasn't as much dating as it was going to the bar. I figured he was doing a few bar broads but I don't really know. He would still come by and see the girls but keep his distance from me.

I was going out with the gals every couple of months. I joined a card club so I could get out a little more often. When the gals and I went out, I did dance with other guys. I was always looking over my shoulder to see if Rhett was there. He wasn't and, believe it or not, I missed him. Here I was a divorced woman dancing with a man and missing my husband. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get him out of my mind.

Rhett would come over and see the girls and at times I would watch him. He would always tell me that he had grown up and to give him another chance. I just couldn't do it. If he cheated on me again, I'd kill him and my kids would be without any parents.

Life went on but it was rough around the holidays. The girls and I would spend our holidays at my parents' house and Rhett would be at his parents'. After I knew that he had left his parents, we would go over and visit them. I loved them and they loved me and the girls. Damn, why did he do this to us? The exception that was made was on Christmas morning when the girls would call their dad and he would come over and celebrate with us. For about two hours, we were a family again. It really hurt when he left. I would go into my room and cry. I just couldn't help it. I still loved the sorry bastard.

The following year I went on a few actual dates. I did kiss the guys but there was no spark. I didn't want sex for the sake of sex. I wanted love but wasn't finding it. I heard through the gossip grapevine that Alice went to get a full body massage from Rhett. She had been chasing after him for quite awhile. She had bragged to a couple of my girlfriends that she got that massage and got it more than once. They told her she better stay out of my path or sparks just might fly.

I know we were divorced but I considered people we knew to be off limits. I never spoke to him about it but Alice never did come around on our gals swim parties anymore. Good thing too, or she might have drowned; of course, it would have been an accident.

It's hard to explain to anyone what it is like to see a person you really care for and not be with them. It's how I felt with Rhett. He was there and I saw him regularly. It was a 'look but don't touch' policy. I was the one that made it and Rhett lived by it. To see him smile and hug his daughters was a nice sight. Why did I still have such strong feelings for him? Why, Lord, I had enough on my plate. Why give me this? Let me just hate him but not love him. I could deal with one or the other but not both.

I dated a couple of other men and kissed them. I even let a few touch me. I was looking for love and, I thought, in all the right places. It just wasn't happening. Stupid ass Rhett always came to my mind. Nearly three years had gone by and my feelings hadn't changed much.

The following summer I met a man named Jeff. He was a sweetheart of a man and we dated. He did all the things that good dates do. He brought flowers and talked nice to my kids. He was a gentleman. I liked him a lot and we became good friends. I explained to him about Rhett and how I still had strong feelings for him. Jeff was divorced also; his wife left with his business partner. I guess we were like two peas in a pod. Both of us were cheated on and trying to get on with our lives.

We kissed and hugged but there wasn't any spark. God, I wanted there to be sparks. I let him feel me and I actually masturbated him. I wanted to have sex with him but the feelings just weren't there. I know he understood and we just stayed close friends. We went to movies or dinner once in awhile. He dated other women for the sex he needed. I understood his needs and believe it or not, it didn't bother me. I had someone I could go out with and not worry about being groped. The only problem was he wasn't Rhett.

A couple of days after Thanksgiving my side began to hurt. I was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. All I remember is being rushed to the hospital and thinking I was going to die and I was worried about my little girls.

I don't remember the operation. I must have dreamt through it. I thought about my children and my husband. When I woke up, I was in the- Intensive Care Unit -- then moved to my room. My mum was there waiting for me. She came up and kissed my forehead. I looked over the other way and their was Rhett with tears in his eyes. He was holding my hand. I don't know why but I felt safe.

"Where are the girls?" I asked him.

He explained about his mom taking care of them and that all I needed to do was to get well. Knowing my kids were safe, I fell back to sleep. When I awoke, Mum and Dad were sitting there talking to Rhett. I noticed it was evening and a few family members came to see me. Rhett stepped out of the room to make room for my visitors. I know he probably felt uncomfortable around them. No one stayed long. They all knew I needed my rest.




Regrets - Darcy's Story



My mum and dad said goodnight to me and said they would see me the next day. Rhett came back in and sat in the chair. He talked to one of the nurses who gave me some pain relievers and I was back off to sleep. When I awoke it was morning, there was Rhett sleeping in the chair. 

"Have you been here all night?" I asked him.

He nodded his head and said, "This way I can tell everyone I slept with you again." I know I showed a faint smile, but that's the way he used to make me feel.

I told him not to make me laugh because it hurt to much.

He said he had to leave and go check on the kids, but he would be back later. I honestly thought he was going to kiss me but he didn't. I know I would have let him.

Being in the hospital and wondering if you're going to live or die sure changes your perspective. I knew what he had done to me was wrong, I mean really wrong. He kept asking my forgiveness for a second chance. I loved him but I just didn't know.

I felt better that day and had a few more visitors. I even had a couple of male friends come by and see how I was doing. They were just that - male friends. I look back and saw all the affairs I could have had but sex was more to me than a quick fuck. It was love and commitment. I honestly couldn't sleep with just anyone. I guess I was one of those apples in the top of the tree. I would give my all to the right man and there was only one man I have ever felt that way about and I divorced him for cheating on me.

When Rhett came back, Mum was already here. Jeff, my friend, had stopped by to see me. I had asked Mum to call him and let him know I wouldn't be going out Saturday. It was a bit of an uncomfortable situation when he kissed me lightly on the lips. Rhett was there and I know it must have bothered him. Mum asked Rhett to accompany her to the cafeteria and he went. It made it a lot easier to talk to Jeff.

He asked me if I thought we could ever be more than just friends? His feelings for me were getting stronger. I liked this man, maybe even loved him but more like a friend, not a lover. If I could just get my mind off of Rhett, maybe I could learn to love Jeff. I just didn't know.

I told him I needed a little more time. I would talk to him after the holidays. Right then I had to get well and focus on my daughters. He said he understood and leaned over and kissed me on the lips. It felt nice but there was no tingle. I used to always get a tingle when Rhett kissed me. Maybe I just got older and was thinking like a teenager. I let Jeff kiss me one more time before he left.

A few minutes later Mum and Rhett returned. I could see Rhett felt a little worried. He should be. After what he did, he was lucky we still communicated at all. He told me he made all the calls that I had asked him to make and all my appointments were taken care of. He was a bit jittery and said he had to leave.

"Darcy, I told Mom I would pick up the girls. The doctors say you will be getting out tomorrow and Mum said she is taking you home. If you need me for anything, please call me. I'll be there in a jiffy."

"Thank you, Rhett," I said. "Thank you for being there for me and the girls."

"Can I kiss you goodbye?" he asked.

"I'm probably too weak to fight you off."

He leaned over and kissed me. It was a very gentle warm loving kiss. "Thank you, Darcy," he said as he turned and walked out the door.

I felt the tingle. I looked over at Mum and she could see it in my face. Rhett still did it for me. I said a little prayer. "God, help me out here. I sure could use some guidance right now."

For the next few days, Rhett came over every day after he got off work. He cooked dinner for me and the girls. He washed our clothes and cleaned the house, did our grocery shopping but took the kids along so I could get some needed rest. He did everything he could to help me out. After seeing the kids to bed, he asked me if I needed anything else. He always said goodnight and went home. He never touched me or tried to kiss me.

He took the following week as vacation time so he could help me out. He and the girls decorated our house for the holidays. I had my Christmas shopping done but he saw that everything got wrapped. I put things in boxes and he had the girls wrapping them. I had to laugh when the girls found out they wrapped their own presents. It was so nice having him around. Each night he would head for home and be back the next morning.

He asked a favor of me. He wanted to know if the kids and I would have Christmas dinner with his family. He told me how his mom loved and missed seeing me and the girls. She was a wonderful woman, so I told Rhett that I needed to talk to my mum first. I would let him know. It would be the first time in four years that we would have Christmas dinner together. I was wondering if I was doing the right thing. After all he did cheat on me. Damn, was he really a changed person?

Christmas Eve arrived and all the decorations were up and the presents were wrapped. Rhett showed up at the house. I had invited him over. After all he had done for us in the last few weeks and being there for us, he didn't need to be alone on Christmas Eve. I know that three weeks does not change a person, but it was the holidays and he was my girls' father. I know they liked having him around. Hell, I liked having him around but tried not to overly show it.

"I talked to Mum and she said for you to come over tonight and celebrate Christmas Eve with us. It's not right spending it alone when you have family. Call your mom and tell her to set three extra plates for tomorrow and to make extra noodles." He had tears in his eyes as he walked to the phone.

He called his mom, "Mom, Darcy said to set three extra plates for dinner tomorrow and you will probably have to make extra noodles." Rhett's Mom asked to speak to me.

"Yes, Mom, we love you too... Merry Christmas to you too Mom, and tell Dad we love and miss him also."

We went to my parents' house. Rhett was a little nervous about going in. My mom greeted us and dad said hello to Rhett. My sisters and brother thanked him for helping me out the past few weeks. I always kept in touch with my family and let them know that it seemed that Rhett had been changing.. I watched Rhett's actions. He was really trying. He wasn't the pushy person he once was. He talked nicely to everyone and kept a low profile.

I was in the bedroom helping Mum when she said to me. "Honey, I know it's none of my business but Rhett still loves you. He told me so himself."

"I know, Mum, I know. It's just that I'm not sure what to do. It's the holiday season and all. I love him but don't know what to do. I don't want to make the same mistake twice in taking him back."

I saw my dad walking out the front porch. He smoked a pipe and only smoked it outside. I went out and he was sitting in his chair. I sat on the porch swing and told him I needed to talk to him.

"What is it, Honey? It's about Rhett, isn't it?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm not sure what to do. You see, I still love him but hate what he did to our family. I know the girls love him too. He says he has changed, Dad. What do you think?"

"Honey, no one can make that decision for you. How do you feel in your heart? It usually doesn't lie. Let me tell you about a friend of mine. He was in the service and when he came home, his wife approached him and told him she had an affair. She told him that she couldn't live a lie and not tell him."

"What did he do, Dad?"

"He felt in his heart that she was telling him the truth. He had to decide whether to leave her or try and forgive the woman he loved and the mother of his two kids at the time. He asked her if she would be true to him the rest of her days? She said, 'YES! It was a gigantic error I made and I promise that I will be the best wife a man could have.' "

"Did she keep her promise, Dad?"

"Yes, she did and they are one of the happiest couples that I know. In their case the second chance worked. Does that mean it will work for you and Rhett? Only your heart and God knows for sure."

"Thank you, Daddy. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Darcy, and I hope you can solve your problem."

It was getting late and we all said our goodbyes. We left and Rhett took the girls and me home. 

"Do you want to come in for a Christmas Eve beer?" I asked Rhett

"I'd love to," he replied. 

The girls started getting ready for bed. "Good night, Dad. See you in the morning. Be here by seven or we'll call you." They hugged their dad and kissed him goodnight.

The one thing we did as a family was invite Rhett over to watch the kids open presents. After that he would go his way and we would go ours. This year we were going to his parents' for dinner; it was a start.

The girls went to bed and Brett was sitting on the couch when I offered him a beer. He was still a good looking man but he did look like he might have matured.

"Rhett, thank you for helping with the kids and helping me with Christmas this year."

"Darcy, don't thank me for doing what I'm supposed to do and want to do. I know you don't want to hear it, but I love you."

"Rhett, please not now."

"Honey, I have to say it. I love you, I always have and always will. I did some really stupid things and am paying for it dearly. I want you to know that I was weak-willed and wrong."

"Rhett..."

"Please let me get it all out. I was a kid that had to hit bottom and see what I lost before that stupid light came on in my head. I can't change the past. God, I wish I could. Maybe I was just too immature, but by losing you, I grew up."

I stared at him. I wasn't sure what to say. He finished his beer and started to get up.

I don't know why I said it, but I did. "Rhett, it's stupid for you to drive a half mile and get up in a few hours and come back. Do you want to sleep on the couch? Then you'll be here in the morning. Besides you might see Santa Claus. He comes tonight, you know." 

He was dumbfounded. After all, according to our agreement he wasn't to stay at the house. I went and got him a pillow and a blanket. I turned off all the lights except the lights from the tree. I said, "Goodnight," and went to take a shower. 

I might have been making a big mistake but I put on a red silk and lace negligee that he had bought for me four years ago. I walked up to him lying on the couch and said, "Kiss me, Rhett, kiss me now." He kissed me and then kissed me again and again. Each time I felt the sparks. I was feeling tingly all over.

"What's the matter, Honey? Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm not sure what to do. I miss you so much and want you to make love to me. Right now I don't know if I'm doing the right thing." I had tears in my eyes but I was trying to follow my heart. God, I hoped I was doing the right thing. I wanted him so much.

"I love you, Darcy, I want you to trust me but I don't deserve your trust. I will promise you that I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I need that second chance to prove my love for you. Only you can grant it to me."

I didn't say a word but took his hand and guided him through the hallway and into my bedroom. The only light was from a nightlight that I kept on. We closed the door and I slipped off my negligee.

He was kissing me and rubbing my body. It was like receiving a massage. He got up and got between my legs and buried his face between my thighs. At first I wanted to stop him but it felt so good. It was the first time that I had experienced oral sex.

He buried his face into my pussy, sucking, licking, tonguing, and kissing, whatever it took to make me come. I was bucking while holding onto his head and I felt my climax approaching. I came within minutes. I felt my juices squirting all over his face as I moaned to high heaven. I did everything I could not to scream out. I even put a pillow over my face.

"Rhett, why did you do that? You never did that before."

"Honey, I have never done this to any woman ever. But I love you so much and I can't believe you taste so good."

He then guided his cock into my wet pussy. I squealed at his first entrance. 

"God, it's been so long," I whispered.

We made love three times that night.

-------------------------------------- 

On Christmas morning, I woke up and there was Rhett staring at me.

"You were suppose to go back on the couch. What if the girls see you?"

"Too late," he said as our daughters came running into my room.

They didn't seem surprised, they must have seen us while we were sleeping. "Merry Christmas, Mom. Merry Christmas, Dad. Hurry up and get dressed. Santa's been here and we have a lot of presents to open." They ran out of the room as we both got up and got dressed.

It was a wonderful morning, watching the girls opening their presents and Rhett was almost as excited as the girls. After we finished opening our gifts, the girls were taking their presents to their room when I handed a small present to Rhett.

"What is this? Another present?" he asked.

I tried to explain to him, "Rhett, I gave it a lot of thought since my surgery. I want you in our lives. I'll take you back but there are conditions."

"Anything, Darcy, I'll do whatever it takes."

I told him, "For starters, you can't ask me anything about my personal life since our divorce and I won't ask you about yours. We can have mutual friends but Alice is not allowed back over here since she got that full body massage she always wanted." I really didn't have anything to hide but he didn't have to know that. I just wanted to make him wonder a little.

"You know about that..."

"Also, you have to read this book." I quickly opened it.

"The Lorena Bobbit Story." For those readers who haven't heard of her, she cut off her husband's dick with a knife.

I straight out told him, "Yes, I want you to know that, if you ever cheat on me again, what I will do to you will be much worse. Are you willing to take the gamble?"

He told me, "Darcy, I love you and you've given me a second chance. Of course I'll take it." Then he kissed me and I felt the tingles going through my body.

We were eating when the phone rang. It was Jeff. I tried to be honest with him and at the same time I was looking at Rhett.

"Jeff, I'm sorry. I'm not going to be dating anymore. I'm going to work on my marriage and make my family whole again... Thank you for being a good friend... right... okay... and Happy New Year to you also... bye."

The girls were looking at me when I got off the phone. Britt asked me, "Mom, is Dad coming home to live with us?"

"Yes, it kind of looks that way."

I remember her saying, "Boy, this is already a great Christmas and it just started. Welcome home, Dad." I think we all had tears in our eyes.

When we told Rhett's parents at dinner, his mom started bawling. She made us all cry. 

After dinner we went over to my parents' house. Mum was also a very happy lady. 

What Rhett didn't know was that I overheard my dad talking to him. It made me really proud of my dad. I guess I was still his little girl. He was a quiet man but he always meant what he said.

"Rhett, I love you like a son, but you hurt my little girl once. She is giving you a second chance. Don't fuck it up. If you hurt her again, you will have to deal with me. Everyone deserves a second chance, but you won't get a third. Welcome back to the family, Son!"

I almost laughed when I heard Rhett's reply. "Thank you, Sir, and I realize what I lost. Believe me, I won't mess it up again." 

In the days that followed, Rhett moved back in. He did ask me how soon before we could get married.

"I want to wait till March 31, our original anniversary. I don't want to have to remember two dates."

So that was the date we set. It gave us three months to get ready and plan a wedding/anniversary party.

Life has been great since Rhett moved back in. He was keeping his promise and was helping me with the housekeeping and gave us a lot more time for our bedroom activities. Some time we just had a quicky when we could work one in. My favorites were the ones where we cuddled, hugged and kissed and then made love. He didn't say fantasy things to me any more. It was all about us now. The way it should be.

I asked Brett if he wanted to go anywhere for New Year's Eve.

"I would prefer to just stay home and celebrate with you and the girls," he said. " We could play games and maybe rent a movie. Shortly after mid-night I want to take you to bed and start the year off right by making love to you."

I told him that it was fine with me. "I would love that too." So that's exactly what we did. After the girls went to sleep, Rhett and I were going to try to do an all-nighter. If we didn't make it, who cares; it sure would be fun trying.

We enjoyed our life and our family. We spent time together. Rhett didn't go out with the boys anymore. He said he preferred to spend it with me and the girls. I know that he had turned over a new leaf. My dad started treating him more like a son. Thinking back, Rhett never did tell me about the talk with dad. As long as he kept his promise, I didn't care.

In March we rented a little hall and all our relatives and close friends were back to see us get married again.

After the wedding and at the hall I pulled Rhett aside and gave him another little present. He opened it to find that it was a cell phone.

"Honey, I have a cell phone," he said being a little surprised.

I explained why this phone was so special. "If you ever get an urge and you are afraid you can't handle it, there is a number you can call. You see, Bobbit one is our home phone and Bobbit two is my cell phone. You call it and I will be there to get you out of trouble. I'm really trying to help you here," I explained.

He smiled at me and told me how much he loved me and thanked me again for the second chance. "Honey, you look so beautiful in that dress. I'm a very lucky man to have you."

I told him, "Good thing we didn't get married in September then." 

"Why's that, Darcy?"

"Because I would be blown up like a balloon by then, your son Brett should be here somewhere around the last week of September or the first week of October," I smiled with the big news.

"When did this happen?" he asked me.

"It was probably from that almost all-nighter on New Year's Eve since our son Brett will be born around September 30th and no, no one else knows. I thought the baby's father should be the first to know."

There was a lot of skeptics out there who didn't think I should have taken him back. I pondered it over and over again. I truly loved the man but hated his actions. I truly believe that getting the divorce was the right thing to do. It forced Rhett to face reality and make some real choices. I do believe him when he said he is a changed and now mature man. 

As for me, I think that I had the inflamed appendix for a reason. It was God's way of telling me to slow down and digest what was happening to me. It gave me a chance to watch and see the changes in Rhett. To observe him helping out and trying to change. If I hadn't gone in the hospital, I wouldn't have seen any of this.

Epilogue:

On October 2, our little Brett was born. My husband and my mother were in the birthing room to see the miracle take place. My mom said that Rhett almost passed out but he was one proud father when he saw his son. He had promised me that he would take a much more active part in our kids' lives and he was going to be there for the birth of his son.

A little side note: Life at home was now hectic but great. One day when Rhett came in from work he walked in while I was changing little Brett. "My God, Honey, how can something so cute smell so bad?" He was gagging from the ca-ca diaper. He covered his mouth and walked out of the room.

After I changed Brett I brought him out and handed him to his daddy. "Well, son, you smell much better," he said as he held his little boy.




Regrets - Darcy's Story



I looked at Rhett with a smile on my face. "I thought you were going to help me with the baby," I laughed and went to start supper.

The next day I was at the changing table with Brett and another ca-ca diaper. I turned around and in comes Rhett with an apron on, a doctor's mask and rubber gloves.

"Step aside, woman, I have come to change my son," replied Rhett.

Watching my husband, a six foot one, two hundred ten pound man, changing his son's diaper in all that gear was the funniest sight I had ever seen. He truly was a changed man. I did as my dad had mentioned. I asked God for guidance, and followed my heart. It's now been four years since we got back together and I have 'No Regrets.' 

*

Thank you for reading my story

Comments are always welcome.

DG Hear