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Of Hell and Heaven

By: bmunchausen



I first and absolutely foremost want to thank and dedicate this story and the following stories in this series to someone who I can only call my muse. She supports and encourages me. When I need it, she critiques and corrects me. She is a real godsend and she is a friend. Thank you Catheath, these stories are for you.

Next...these stories are total fiction. They all arose from my demented imagination. With respect to the Benedictines, I have no knowledge of their rules or their mission. Everything about them is made up, again the product of a warped mind.

So if you are a Benedictine or have intimate knowledge of them, that's nice, but I really don't want to know. It would require a big rewrite and that's just too much work.

As with most of my stories, they start off very slowly, if you are looking for a quick slam bam thank you ma'am, look elsewhere. 

*

I am going to hell.

I mean that very seriously. When I die my immortal soul is going to be damned. I will spend eternity in pain and torment. Burning and suffering forever. 

And if the truth be known, I don't care. I wouldn't do anything differently. I will have had my heaven here on earth. I will die a happy man.

I it all started on the first day of my senior year at Saint Steven's High School in Baltimore, Maryland. I had just turned eighteen in August just before school started. St. Steven's logo was two red "S"s on a white background. We called it Sing Sing after that ancient notorious prison in New York. 

I walked into homeroom early. I was always early, my Mom would drop me off and then take Mandy, my twin sister to St. Augustine's before going to work. Mom had to be in her office by 7:45 am. Thus, I was always the first one in class. Usually, I would just drop my books by my desk and go back outside, that is if the weather was nice.

As I walked into the room I saw a nun standing looking out of the window. Her back was to the door. I knew that she was a nun because she was wearing one of those modified habits. You know, the black skirt that comes down between the knee and ankle and a white blouse. She was wearing a short black veil with a white band in front, I guess that held it on her head.

"Oh Christ," I thought, "A nun for homeroom. We're seniors, we shouldn't have a nun for homeroom. This is not good."

As I walked across the room she turned and in a voice that would put angel's singing to shame, said, "You must be Zachary. I was told that you would be the first one in. I'm Sister Carol."

When I looked over at her, I became lost in the bluest eyes that I have ever seen. She was beautiful. Never before had I seen a nun...no... never before had I seen any woman who was as beautiful as this nun standing in front of me.

Her face was clear with a soft peaches and cream complexion, her lips were rose petal pink and her hair was a reddish-brown. Her clothes were loose and baggy so that all you could tell was that she was slender.

As I walked to my desk, I stared at her like a deer caught in the headlights. The next thing I knew, I was falling over a desk. It went down with me on top of it. My books flew all over the floor. But, it did sort of bring me back to the land of the living.

Sister Carol came running over to me and when she saw that I was okay she sat on one of the seats and laughed. She had a soft sweet laugh, like the tinkling of crystal. I was sputtering and stuttering, trying to get up and somehow hide my embarrassment. 

Sr. Carol laughed and said, "My goodness, Zachary. Do I look that frightening that you fall over desks trying to get away?"

"No, no, no, Sister you're not frightening," I gasped.

"Just hideous, huh."

I finally found my voice and the words just poured out. A lot faster than my brain was working. My mouth just kept spewing out the words, "No Sister, you're not hideous, you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seeeeeeeennnnnnn." At this point I realized just who I was talking to and what I was saying. She was a NUN! You can't say things like that to a nun.

Again I started to stammer. "No...no I didn't mean that..."

She smiled and said "Then I'm not beautiful?"

"NO...no...no...I didn't mean that, you are, but I 'm not supposed to tell..."

She put her hand on my shoulder and laughingly said, "Calm down Zachary. I'll tell you what. Why don't you go outside and come in again. We will start all over and act like this never happened."

I got up, picked up my books and as I walked to the door, Sister Carol said in a soft voice, "Thank you, Zachary. No one has ever told me that before."

Again my mouth took off and I said, "Then everybody must be blind."

When my mind caught up with my mouth, I almost cried and said, "Oh god, oh god" as I literally ran out of the room, hearing her sweet laughter.

I went outside. I just wanted to run away, to go home and hide under the bed. I walked around the front of the building and then I slowly walked back to class and arrived about ten seconds before the bell rang. I was the last one to get to class.

As I came in the door, Sister Carol looked over at me and smiled as the bell rang. 

"I'm Sister Carol, I will be your homeroom teacher this year. And you are?" she asked. Doing exactly what she said she would do; starting all over again.

Once again I was enthralled by her beauty, but this time I was able to speak...well almost. "I'm Zack, no, no...Zachary... Zachary...ah... Zachary Miller," I stuttered.

She was laughing. "Well Zachary Zachary Zachary Miller, I think that I will just call you Zachary, if you don't mind, it's a bit easier that way."

The whole class roared with laughter. They were all teasing and hollering at me, especially the guys and girls on the Swimming Team. I've been on the team since freshman year. They started a chant, "Zachary Zachary Zachary... Zachary Zachary Zachary." Sr. Carol put a stop to that right away.

I muttered, "Thank you, sister." and walked back to my seat. As I did Sister Carol said, "Be careful, Zachary, watch so you don't trip over the desk."

I could feel the back of my neck heat up as I reddened. I just wanted to melt into the woodwork. I went and sat at my desk.

During that first class, Sister Carol told us that she had recently graduated from MIT with a degree in mathematics and she had just taken her final vows. She would be with us in homeroom and Religion class and that if anyone was taking Calculus, AP Calc, or Trigonometry she would be teaching us that. Thus, she would be my AP Calc (Advanced Placement Calculus) and Trig teacher, for the whole year.

We were her very first class and someone said, "We're your firsts." Everyone laughed, but we kept the name. We were the "Firsts." Not that it meant anything, but we flaunted it. I think that some of the other nuns didn't like it but the brothers thought it was funny.

We had both nuns and brothers teaching at St. Steven's. The Nuns were the Benedictines or the Bennys as we called them. The Brothers were the Christian Brothers de LaSalle (The French Christian Brothers) or the Frenchies. So for most of the four years we had religious teachers.

It turned out, amazingly, when I was in Sr. Carol's classes, I didn't just sit mooning over her. It was like my brain took in everything that she said. I had no problem with religion, not one of my favorite subjects and I flew through Calc and Trig, which turned out to be my favorite subjects. (I'm sure that you can't imagine why) I understood even the most complicated problems the first time she explained it.

She was different; she wasn't like a lot of the other nuns, she would joke with us and she would treat us like adults; except when we acted like children. Also, it was like she had no idea that she was even mildly attractive, never mind the most beautiful woman in the world. And it seemed that the other guys just saw a nun, not a woman...certainly not a very beautiful woman.

I would think about her, dream about her and even fantasize about her when I beat off. Yea, I really did. At first, I was horrified that I could think about a nun this way. But no matter how I tried, I couldn't get her out of my mind. If I started to think about a girl in my class or even looking at a girly magazine, she would always morph into Sister Carol. For the longest time, I lived with the guilt and shame. It was a sacrilege to think about a nun like that.

That's when I realized that I was going to hell. There was no way around it. My soul was so degraded that there was no chance of redemption. So...I just went with it. If I was going to hell then so be it, I was going to hell. How much worse could it be than what I was going through now? Having her so close but so far away.

Before I knew it, we had sent out our college applications and it seemed like an eternity before the colleges started sending out their acceptances and rejections. I had a lot of acceptances. I got a scholarship to the School of Engineering at Stamford University. I swore it was because of the recommendation letter that Sister Carol wrote. She played it down...but I knew differently.

I sent in my acceptance to Stanford, with the required deposit. The rest of the school year flew by and soon final exams were in, marked and we were just waiting for Graduation Day. On the last day of classes, we all met in our homeroom. We presented Sr. Carol with a sort of crystal thing that had some writing on it. As everyone was leaving I put a yellow sticky note on it. I didn't sign it, but I don't think that she would have a problem knowing who put it there.

After what seemed like years, on a Friday evening, the senior class was lined up and we walked down the center aisle of the auditorium and into our seats, the Commencement Ceremony had started.

The diplomas were handed out, I was the salutatorian and I received the Calculus medal. After Mary Beth, the Valedictorian gave her speech I had to get up and give one. As I approached the podium I saw that Sister Carol was sitting in the front row. Her face was lit up with a big smile. She was looking and smiling at me!

I put my notes on the podium and began. I have no idea what I said. I would try to look at other people in the auditorium but my gaze always returned to her. Finally I finished and it must have been okay because the audience clapped and the Swimming Team cheered like a bunch of loonies.

My parents were ecstatic and planned to go out to one of the best restaurants in town. My twin sister Mandy, who was the Valedictorian at her school and my older "brother," Mark, his wife, Georgia and their two kids, Marky and Lissa were coming. It would be a gala affair. I would have to sit between the kids. They would have it no other way and I loved it. I would be teasing and being teased the whole night.

Mark, although technically my cousin, was more of a brother to Mandy and I. He is my Mom's sister's son. Mark's parents were killed before my mom got married. And as she was his only relative, Mom took him. Dad married mom, knowing the situation; they raised him together. He calls my Mom "Mom" and my Dad "Dad". When Mandy and I were born, he was there, I always have considered him my brother. And I am Uncle Zacky to the kids.

After the ceremony as we were walking out to the school lobby, Mom reminded me that I had to finish cleaning out my locker and take the lock. If I didn't remove the stuff today, the custodian would cut the lock off and take everything inside and throw it away.

I ran up to the third floor, yea, I know a senior with a locker on the third floor, but that's where it was. As I was putting everything in a plastic bag (there really wasn't that much) I heard that angelic voice.

"I thought that I would find you here."

I turned around and Sister Carol was standing there smiling at me. "I wanted to tell you just how proud of you I am. And I have a little something, for you. Just so you won't forget me too soon," she said as she handed me a small box.

I took the box and as I started to open it, I sort of mumbled, "I really don't need anything to remember you, Sister."

She smiled at me. I opened the box. There was a small silver charm, in the shape of those old fashioned eyeglasses.

"Maybe these will help you to see things the way they are."

"Sister, I don't need glasses to see things that way."

"Well then, maybe they will keep you from tripping over desks at Stanford."

"I can guarantee, that I won't be tripping over any desks at Stanford," I said with a grin. "You won't be there."

"Zachary, you are incorrigible," she laughed. And she actually turned a little red. Then she leaned over and gave me a light kiss on the cheek. "I wish you the best of luck, but the way you work, you won't need any. You'll make your own."

I was stunned, she kissed me. I was in heaven. I just stood there, I couldn't speak, I couldn't think. It felt like I was there for hours, in a dreamland. But, then I heard my fathers voice from the stairs, "Zack, lets get going, we have reservations for seven."

He walked into the hall and said, "Oh, Sister, I was hoping that I would see you. I really want to thank you for all you did for Zack. That letter was absolutely wonderful...but just who were you writing about?"

She laughed and said, "I was writing about one of my favorite students."

Dad was smiling, "Well since you are a nun, I won't comment on your choice of favorites."

And with that she took her leave and walked away. I watched her until she turned the corner.

As I was finishing up at the locker, Dad was teasing me, "You really like her don't you? Well I can understand she ain't bad looking. But, I guess that I have nothing to worry about she is a nun."

I complained, "Oh come on Dad, stop, she's really nice."

He laughed and we went down to the lobby. The whole class was there with parents and relatives. We were saying goodbye, exchanging phone numbers and e-mail addresses. Eventually we headed for the restaurant and the dinner was everything that I expected, perfect. 

The summer flew by. I had a summer job, working at my Father's friend's warehouse; I was what was referred to as a runner. Me and another guy, Jake had to get stuff from the warehouse for the guys at the counter. It would be Zack, get me 500 lag bolts; Jake get me a hundred feet of cable, etc. It was hard work but not all that bad and it did keep me in shape.

All of a sudden, it was the end of August, Dad and I were heading out to a place called Palo Alto, California, to Stanford University. I was quickly settled into my dorm room and Dad headed home. I must say that I had a great time with him.

It took a few weeks but I finally got comfortable with my classes and the school. I joined the Army ROTC. My roommate was in it and it turned out to be a lot of fun (most of the time). The good thing was that the Army would pick up the difference between the scholarship and room and board. 

I would graduate a Second Lieutenant, and have a six-year commitment. A year or two in one of the combat arms and the rest in my area of study, engineering. Mom wasn't happy about me joining the Army, but dad was elated that he only had Mandy's room and board to worry about, yea she got a full scholarship to Penn State.

The four years flew by and before I knew it I graduated with a degree in Marine and Naval Engineering and was a newly commissioned Second Lieutenant in the United States Army. Yea, I know Marine and Naval engineering...in the Army, what can I tell you?

My first duty assignment was Fort Jackson in South Carolina for infantry training. Finishing that I went to Fort Benning for Airborne School. There were three of us "Shave Tail Looies" who went through Infantry training and Jump School together. We hung out together, went out drinking together and we all decided that three big, virile, macho guys like us should go off to Ranger School, together.

Well, we spent 61 days going through absolute hell, in the desert, the jungles and the swamps and mock-ups of towns and cities. But in the end we got to wear the Ranger tab and were all assigned to the 75th Ranger Regiment. And to a man we ended up in Iraq and later in Afghanistan. You know enjoying the scenery, the food and the adulation and hospitality of the friendly Taliban (yea right).

In training I got the nickname of "Papa". I would take care of the other two. Get them out of trouble and get them back to the barracks in one piece, just being a papa.

However, when we got to Iraq and later in Afghanistan, the name changed to Papa Swiss. It seemed that every time I went out I would come back with a hole in me. It would be from shrapnel, or a ricochet, whatever but it would be a hole. Not enough to get me sent home but just enough to sometimes get a day in the field hospital. Most of the time nothing was done other than a bandage or a band-aid.

The joke was that if Papa Swiss were a wheel of cheese, he would be rejected because he had too many holes.

This went on until I was about half way through my second tour in Afghanistan. Things sorta went wrong. I ended up minus a left kneecap and a whole bunch of muscles and stuff. This time it was enough to get me out of Afghanistan, to Germany and then back to the States. After they replaced everything with stainless steel and porcelain, it got me out of the Army, too. 

So, within six months of being wounded, I was back in Baltimore. My Mother was beside herself with joy. Her wounded son was home and he wasn't going back. She took it upon herself to fatten me up. But I guess that being a Ranger stuck. I watched what I ate and worked out like a demon, getting back into shape.

One of my buddies, Terry Matson, had an uncle in the ship building business. Thus, three months after being discharged, I was gainfully employed as a marine engineer. Who says nepotism is a bad thing?

The biggest part of the company's business was working on military vessels, but it also had a recreational division. I worked with the military division. However, another young engineer named Mark and I would, in our off time, tinker with sailboats, something we both loved. We developed a new type of keel for racing sailboats. The idea worked and the bosses were really happy. It meant a rather big bonus and a lot of good publicity for the company and they even made some money on it. And if based on the continuing bonuses, quite a bit of money, I would imagine.

A few months after the keel had been released, the company was asked if one of us could speak at a symposium that was being held in St. Louis, Missouri. Mark went into a panic, doesn't like to talk in front of people, so I was sort of asked to go. And of course I said yes, like I had a choice.

The people at the symposium paid for everything. And they went first class. Everything was top shelf. As I was going to be speaking in the early afternoon on Monday, after registration, they requested that I get to the Hotel on Sunday. So on a Sunday afternoon, after a long day, an even longer flight and an endless cab ride from the airport to the hotel, all I wanted to do was have a very large bourbon and get to bed. 

But, as Bobby Burns said about the best laid plans...they "gang aft agley." I had gotten a call from Terry Matson and when he found out that I would be in St Louis on Sunday evening he went nuts. Both he and Bobby Goldberg were on TDY (Temporary Duty) at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.

He said that they were going back to Benning on Monday afternoon, but that left all of Sunday evening and night to ParTAY. They were only 130 miles from St. Louis so it should only take them about 45 minutes to get to the hotel. "That is if I drive," Terry laughed.

Terry's wife Rachel and Bobby's wife Miriam were with them. And the girls would be overjoyed to see Papa again. "Shit man, we've missed you."


Of Hell and Heaven Ch. 02



Once again I want to remind everyone that this and the rest of the stories in this series are dedicated to Catheath. She is my muse and my friend. She is very special. 

I was wakened by Carol kissing my chest. I just lay there with my eyes closed. Then I heard what sounded like a muffled sob and I felt something hit my chest. I opened my eyes and saw Carol looking at my chest and stomach. She was softly touching the scars on my body. She had tears in her eyes. Then she lifted the sheet and gasped when she saw my left knee. 

She looked up at me and saw that I was watching her. She then noticed that a piece of the charm was missing and she placed her hand on it, she sobbed, "Oh my love, you have been hurt so much...so....so much. 

I reached up and pulled her to me. "It looks a lot worse than it felt. It wasn't so bad. I just can't have any MRI's."

She gave me a sad smile, "Just knowing and now seeing how you were hurt, it tears me apart."

I held her face in my hands and looking into her eyes, said, "I love you Carol, more than I have loved anyone or anything else in my life. I have loved you since the first day I saw you in that homeroom class, so many years ago. I have never stopped loving you and I will never stop loving you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"And I love you, Zack. I have never loved anyone like I love you. I want to be with ..."

Carol stopped in mid sentence. She put her head on my chest and started to silently weep. She just couldn't make that commitment. 

But, I wasn't afraid. I wanted to be with her forever. I held her and I knew that we would be together. It will just take some time. I would bide my time, loving and cherishing her.

I started to kiss her neck and shoulder. Slowly moving from one to the other. Light quick kisses, like I was tasting and nibbling on her. Telling her that I loved her with my actions. I told her that she was mine and only mine and that I was only hers. I would love no one else.

Carol grabbed me and kissed me hard. She pushed me onto my back and she smiled down at me. Then she lifted herself up and put her leg over me. She took my dick in her hand and lined it up and lowered her self, taking it into her.

She sat on me and didn't move, just sitting there, luxuriating in the feeling of her cock filled vagina. I was in heaven. Being in the love of my life was like nothing I could ever dream. I loved her, I wanted her, I adored her...she was my life.

She began to move, rotating her hips on my dick. Slowly at first, then getting faster and faster until she was riding me hard. Slamming her hips down onto my cock. Loving me, humping me, fucking me. 

I began to hump up into her again and again, forcing my dick into her. Trying to get as deep into her as possible. She rode and I bucked, the cowgirl and the bucking bronco. But Carol was the one rider that this bronco would never dismount. She could ride me forever, I fact I wanted her to ride forever, never to stop, to be connected like this through out eternity.

She then bent forward, lowering her face and kissing me. I grabbed her hips and pushed so that her clit was rubbing against my dick. Carol moaned as her riding became harder and more frantic.

The low moan quickly rose in tone and volume, until she was screeching. She started to tremble and her already tight vagina spasmed and clamped onto my penis. I could hardly move, she was so snug and soft that I thought I would die of the pleasure.

My love then shoved her hips down, getting me as deep into her as possible as I pulled her down. I groaned as I gave up and sent my slick white hot semen into the deepest confines of her womb. I came into her over and over. Empting my balls into her and calling up all reserves and sending them forward into my love.

Carol fell on top of me and was kissing me all over my face and neck. She was telling me of her love for me and no one else. Finally, when she calmed and our breathing became somewhat normal, she rested her head on my chest.

"Oh Zack, I just love you so much. I want to be with you forever, never to be separated from you. But... Oh Zack, what am I going to do?" she quietly cried into my chest.

I hugged her tightly to me and in a loving voice I said, "Carol, marry me. I don't want to lose you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She laughed softly and said, "Oh Zachary, I do love you, but be serious. I'm a nun."

I kissed her forehead and said, "I have never been more serious in my life. I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife. I mean it. Will you marry me?"

She put her head into my chest and once again she cried quietly and softly.

I held her tight and said, "A long time ago, I was having a problem with a situation and a very wise woman said to me, 'Zack, Why don't you go out side and come in again. We will start all over and act like this never happened.' So why don't we do the same thing here, we will start this conversation all over again. I love you."

"That woman wasn't so wise, was she? Look at the position she has gotten herself into."

"Actually I really like the position that she's in. In fact she can stay in this position all day and I wouldn't mind."

Carol slapped my chest and raised up on her elbows and giggled, "You're terrible, Zack. I don't know about you but I could use a shower." She started to get up out of the bed. 

I grabbed her hand and pulled her back on top of me. I held her and kissed her. She returned my kiss and then pushed herself off of me and giggling, said, "Come... shower... we both need it."

She ran off to the bathroom, and I quickly followed. She was brushing her teeth and handed me a toothbrush. "Morning mouth," she mumbled.

I quickly brushed and followed her into the shower. She had the water really hot, just the way I like it. "Mmmm, this is the way I like my showers, good and hot." I put my arms around her, holding her from behind. I kissed her shoulders and said, "Mmmm, this is the way I like my woman, good and hot."

Carol spun in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck. "This is how I like my man, good and hot...and hard."

I once again had an erection and it had been pressing into her. She pushed her hips into me and began to grind. I was going nuts. I moved my hands down to her hips and we kissed. I reached around and grabbed her thighs and lifted her. As I held her up and she grabbed my cock and slipped it into her.

Once again I was in the woman of my dreams. I was as far into her as possible. She looked into my eyes and smiled, she had wrapped her legs around me and squeezed. She held me into her and we began to love; this was the first time like this for both of us. 

I slammed my dick into her as she held onto me and thrust down onto me. I was loving the woman I had always been in love with. It was ecstasy; I was in love, I was hopelessly in love. At this moment I swore that I would never be with any other woman but Carol. 

We loved, we fucked, we mated. I pumped my dick into her. I couldn't stop. She tightened, she crushed me into her. I pushed up, forcing my dick as far into her as possible. She grabbed me and crushed her lips to mine and then she screamed into my mouth as she came.

He vaginal muscles tightened and drove me over the edge and I exploded into her once again, spewing my cum deep into her womb. The water washed over us as I filled her. 

We ended up on the floor of the shower, me inside of her and the two of us breathing hard, giggling, kissing and hugging. We were being happy, we were in love.

Eventually, we got up finished washing and got out of the shower. We dried off, slowly, taking our time drying and slowly dressing. Getting ready for the day.

I went to my room and changed. There were some speakers that I wanted to hear and some group discussions I wanted to attend and Carol wanted to do the same. We parted and went to our own talks. We planned to meet for lunch and then decide if there was anything in the afternoon we wanted to attend.

The first talk of the day was something I was only slightly interested in. I thought that there might be someway I could apply it to a project we were contemplating.

Boy, was I wrong, it wasn't even close and the speaker had a nasal, monotone voice. Once the speaker starts talking, I won't usually walk out. I don't think that it's right, not only that, I always wonder why people walk out when I'm talking.

I hoped that there would be something in the talk that might be of interest, so I tried to listen. But as usually happens in this type of situation, my mind begins to wander. I stop hearing the speaker and I daydream. Naturally, my daydreams were about Carol. It was nice. My mind went back to that day I first saw her.

She was so beautiful, standing there by the window, in that habit...habit...habit... what the fuck did I do? I made Sr. Carol break her vows. She is a NUN and I made love to her...I had sex with a NUN. What kind of monster was I?

I had forced myself on her and took advantage of her innocence. She wasn't experienced, having lived all locked up in a convent. You don't met people like me in a convent, guys who want only one thing. 

The talk eventually ended and I went to another but I have no idea what it was about. Finally I walked to the front of the hotel. Needless to say I felt like a pile of shit, as I stood there waiting for her. I expected her to come out of hotel with a squad of armed police officers ready to take me away.

After what seemed like years, she finally came out of the hotel. She looked around and when she spotted me a big smile spread across her face. She hurried to me and took my hands on hers. She looked at me with a question in her eyes.

She silently took my hand and we walked to the small park we were in yesterday. She took both of my hands in hers and with a quaking voice asked, "Zack, are you sorry about what happened last night?"

My mouth took off (Something it does quite often around Carol), "No that was the most wonderful night of my life. I will never want to be with anyone else."

"Do you love me?" she asked softly.

I looked deeply into her eyes and said, "I love you more than anything in this world. But, don't you see, I took advantage of you last night. I seduced you into doing things that you would never have done."

Carol gave me a sad smile and said, "Zack, you did not take advantage of me. You did not seduce me. I was the one who asked you to stay with me and I was the one who asked you to love me. If anything, I was the one who seduced you."

She took my face into her hands and softly and lovingly kissed my lips. We held that kiss for a long time. When the kiss broke, I smiled and said, "I'll tell you what. Tonight I will take you to my room and I will seduce you."

She hugged me close and whispered, "That would be wonderful."

We slowly started back to the hotel, stopping for a couple of "dirty water dogs" (hot dogs from a street vendor). There was a lecture that Carol wanted to go to at one o'clock and I wanted to attend one at two. So I went with her at one and she was sitting next to me at two.

We spent the rest of the day talking to the people at the convention and symposium. We kept our distance while we talked to them. We told them about being in her senior homeroom. They all thought that we were kidding, because Carol could never be that old.

Nor would they believe that she was in my senior homeroom, finally I said, "Okay, we spent Senior year together and went to the prom...but not together." Which was the absolute truth...sort of. This they believed.

We went to a lovely little Italian restaurant for dinner. It was small and intimate. We held hands all during dinner. We walked back to the hotel and stopped at Carol's room for a change of clothes and then we took the elevator to the thirtieth floor. When we got to my door, I took her in my arms and kissed her lips. I smiled at her and said, "Stay with me tonight."

She lightly kissed my lips and said, "Forever my love, if you want me."

"I will always want you."

My suite had a beautiful view of the Arch and the Mississippi River. We sat in the living room and cuddled. I opened a bottle of wine and just sat and talked. We told each other about our families and lives. She was surprised that I haven't dated much and I never had a serious relationship.

"What can I say? I was waiting for you. How could anyone compare to you?" 

Then I took her in my arms and said, "I have loved you for years. And maybe I wasn't doing it consciously, but I am sure that every girl I ever dated was compared to you. None even came close, you are the epitome of everything that I find beautiful and loving."

Carol put her hand on my cheek and in a whisper, she said, "Make love to me, Zack?"

I scooped her up in my arms and carried her into the bedroom and gently lay her on the bed. It was a king sized and it was huge. Carol looked at the bed and giggled. Then she said, "This is a big bed. I could get lost on it. Then you would have to search it to find me."

I laughed and said, "I would leave no pillow unturned or blanket unruffled until I found you."

"Would you do that for me? Oh Zack, I love you so much," she said smiling. She grabbed my face and brought it to hers. She pressed her lips against mine and I pushed my tongue into her mouth. Carol opened her mouth and accepted it. Her tongue shot into my mouth as we caressed.

How I wanted her. My need was stronger than my sense. I began to rip her clothes off and she joined me as she tore mine off. We were both naked in a few moments and were rolling around on the bed. 

She threw me on my back and climbed on top of me. She sat on top of me and smiled as she looked down. She lifted her hips and took my dick in her hand and lined me up with her pleasure center. She looked up into the air as she slowly lowered herself onto my steel hard erection. She let out with a sigh as I entered her. 

In a nonce, she was sitting on me, completely impaled on my phallus, just sitting there with me inside of her body. Not moving, holding perfectly still, still looking up, breathing slowly, easy and evenly. As she lowered her head, I could see that her eyes were closed. She had a small smile on her lips.

Carol opened her eyes and looked down at me. Our eyes met and her smile became bigger, she said, "I love it when you look at me, Zack. It makes me feel so warm and comfortable...so loved. Don't ever stop seeing me like that."

She leaned over and kissed me. She kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose and then my lips. She began to move, first she moved back and for the and then she rotated her hips, making the experience most wonderful.

I began to push my dick up into her. It feeling was unbelievable, the pleasure indescribable. Her vaginal muscles messaged my dick, until I couldn't stand it any more and I began to slam my dick up into her. 

She leaned forward and put her hands on either side of my shoulders and began to once again ride me like a jockey on a thoroughbred. We rode on and on not trying to win a race but to go on forever. Racing through eternity, joined, one forever and ever. Riding along the paths and byways of our love and devotion.

Then we reached that place that we had been searching for, that precipice, beyond which was the abyss of passion and joy. The bottomless chasm of everything loving and pleasurable. We willingly and happily leapt forward as out orgasms took control of our beings.

We both yelled out our love, telling the world of our devotion and commitment to each other. Holding each other in a passionate embrace. 

She had been sitting on me with her back arched and then fell onto me as I pushed up into her and let loose. I ejaculated. I came into her in a torrent, a flood, shooting my semen into the deepest recesses of her womb. Once again filling my love with my life fluids.

Carol fell forward, wrapped her arms around me and was forcing her head into my chest as if she wanted to tunnel into me. She moaned out her pleasure as she pushed her hips down, taking as much of me into her as was possible. 

After a lifetime or two, our climaxes eased and we came back to the world. She lay on top of me breathing hard. I kept my arms around her, holding her tight. I didn't want her to get off me. I didn't want to take my dick out of her. I wanted to be in her for as long as possible. She just stayed on me not moving just relaxing and getting her breath bask to normal.

I closed my eyes for a moment and found it was dark when I opened them. Carol was lying next to me with her arm around me. I have never felt so contented in all of my life. I closed my eyes and dreamt sweet dreams.

The next time I opened my eyes, the sun was peaking through the curtain. I lay on my side and just watched her sleep. Carol looked so at peace and so beautiful. I thought that my heart would burst with all of the love and tenderness that I felt for this woman sleeping next to me.

Eventually she opened her eyes, lifted her head and looked at me. She smiled and mouthed the words, "Good morning my love." Then she closed her eyes and laid back on the pillow. 

Her eyes snapped open and she said, "What time is it?"

I looked at the clock radio and said, "Quarter to nine...oh damn..."

Carol sat up and said, "We have to move, I have to be down in the lobby in forty-five minutes. I have that panel discussion at ten and you have the question and answer session."

We got up and showered. It was a quick one, with a promise of a long slow one tonight. We dressed and she left about five minutes before me, after a long and passionate kiss. We wanted to be a little careful as some of the people running her conference knew that she was a nun.

I went down and found the Director. He brought me to a rather large conference room. The place was quite full and the questions started before I got to the front of the room. We went on for almost two hours. 

During that time I refused to look at the clock, I knew that if I saw the time I would get aggravated. I wanted to just get out of there and be with Carol. Finally the place was empty and the Director came over and thanked me over and over. 

He was so thrilled that this went over so well. I laughed and told him that I was shooting from the hip and a lot of what I said was thought of as I stood there. I would of course think if I was getting into anything classified and would answer accordingly. Of course I didn't tell that too the Director.

As I was walking out with the Director, a woman, who I had run into a couple of times at the symposium, approached and asked me how the keel effected the flow, turbulence and were there other ways that we could apply this to other aspects of design. I laughed and said I would have to think about that and get back to her, I had no idea right now.

I left her and the Director talking and as I walked through the halls to the lobby, Carol came running toward me. She almost ran right past me, but I caught her arm and brought her into my arms. She looked totally surprised and started to talk.

"Oh Zack, I'm so sorry, the panel discussion ran so late, I'm so late..."

I pulled her close and kissed her quiet. I smiled and said, "I just finished and I was coming to look for you."

We stood there holding each other in silence. I could feel her heart beating. It was racing like she had just run a mile. I realized that Carol was really in love with me. Don't get me wrong, I knew it but just the way that she was so worried about being late that drove it home. Life was good.

We walked out into the lobby just talking. We had lunch with the director of the conference, she had every one who was on the panel and their significant others there. One of the wives was a marine engineer at the symposium and we talked for a while. All in all it was a lovely lunch and we had a wonderful time. 




Of Hell and Heaven Ch. 02



After lunch Carol was talking to some of the other math teachers and the director, Margaret walked up to me and said, "Mr. Miller, I have happened to notice that you and Sister Carol are...how shall I say...rather close."

"Yes we are, we have known each other for a long time. I have very special feelings for her."

"I can see that, and I can see that she has very special feelings for you. But I know that you realize that, she is a Nun. She has dedicated her life to God."

Then she looked deeply into my eyes, "You have the ability to hurt her. Hurt her very much. She is such a trusting soul. Please do not hurt her. Please."

I looked at her and said, "I will never hurt Sister Carol (I have no idea why I said Sister). I will never do anything to make her sorry."

She looked at me and said, "Then I guess I have nothing to worry about, do I?"

"Absolutely nothing to worry about, Margaret."

I looked over at Carol and thought, "How special was this woman that I loved. Strangers were worried about her. Christ, this woman was wonderful."

I watched as she talked to the other mathematicians and I knew that I loved a very special woman. She is brilliant, intelligent, glib and absolutely loveable. I am the luckiest man in the world. This woman loves me.

I just stood there loving her and basking in the love that she had for me. Eventually she came over to me and she hugged me.

She looked into my eyes and said, "Oh god, Zack this is so wonderful. All of these people think that I am great."

I laughed, "That's because you are."

"Zack, you only say that because you love me." 

"I say it because it's true, and yes I do love you."

We left the hotel and walked around downtown St. Louis. Not really looking at the sites but rather just being with each other. Talking and sometimes just walking in silence. Walking and holding hands.

We went back to the hotel around four and went to my room and changed into more formal attire. Not really dressy just not as casual as we had been. Carol had moved all of her things to my suite, we didn't want to be separated and we had decided that since we would be sleeping together we would stay in the suite.

There were receptions for both the convention and the symposium and we would attend both. We would first make an appearance at the convention's and then go to the symposium's. It seemed that there was a lot of crossover between the two and there were a number of people attending both receptions.

We ended up making a few switches going from one reception to the other. Talking to fellow engineers and mathematicians. Having a good time, and a few glasses of wine. 

We went up to our rooms well after midnight. We undressed each other and lay bed kissing and hugging. As we lay there holding each other, I heard the deep even breathing that told me that my love was asleep. I pulled her closer and closed my eyes.

I looked at the clock radio and saw that it was five thirty, I felt good, notwithstanding the wine I had. As I lay in bed staring off into the dark all of a sudden it hit me. That question the woman had asked after I finished the second talk had been boring into my brain. I had an idea and if it worked it would really change the way we made small military power craft.

I quickly got up, put on a robe and went into the living room, making sure that the door to the bedroom was closed and started to make notes. As I wrote, I also made sketches, trying to visualize the effect that my innovation would have on the flow dynamics. I was lost to the world. In a separate reality made up of hydrokinetics and everything that I loved working on.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, I yelped and nearly jumped out of my skin. Carol also jumped as I had startled her too. Then she stated to stammer, "Oh god, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you. You weren't in bed and when I saw the light on out here I came out and asked what you were doing."

"You didn't answer so I came over and...oh Zack...I'm so sorry."

I laughed and took her in my arms and kissed her. She returned the kiss and when we parted asked, "What are you doing? You seemed to be so involved, that you were lost to the world."

I think that I blushed a little, I said, "Yea, I know, when I get involved in this I loose all track of time and the world. Sorry."

She hugged me tight and laughed, "You have nothing to apologize about. I am guilty of the same offence. I do it all the time."

Then I went into a detailed explanation of what I was working on. Going into the mechanics of my idea and all of the science behind it. Carol laughed and said, "Remember what you told me about my talk? It's all Greek to me. But, please don't stop, I love hearing you talk, especially when you get all excited like this."

I pulled her close and started to kiss and bite her neck. I sort of mumbled, "You make me all excited...so it's all your fault."

"Guilty as charged. I take all of the responsibility...well maybe not all. I think that you have something to do with it," she panted, as she held my head to her body.

I pulled back a little and looking into her eyes, said, "Oh god Carol, I want you so much."

Carol smiled and in a very soft voice said, "Zack, I want you. I need you, I need you so badly."

She untied the belt on the robe and pushed it off my shoulders. She started to kiss my shoulders and chest as she pushed my back onto the couch. As she spread the robe open she continued to kiss my chest down to my stomach. 

She opened the robe up completely and uncovered the steel rod between my legs. It was as erect as erect can be. It was so hard that it was beginning to hurt. For a few moments she did nothing. Then she kissed it, softly and lightly.

She kissed it again and then took the tip into her mouth, swirling her tongue around head and sucking. She slowly moved her head down taking more and more into her mouth. I couldn't believe it, Carol was sucking my dick. Her soft wet mouth and tongue were making love to me. The feeling was exquisite. The pleasure like nothing I ever experienced.

I moaned, telling her how wonderful it was and how I loved her and that I would love her forever. She continued to suck, bobbing her head up and down, running her lips from the head to the base of my cock.

She was able to get my whole duck into her mouth, how I don't know, but she did. It seemed to take a ling time but then I felt the beginnings of my climax approaching. 

"Carol...oh my love...I'm getting close, I'm going to cum. Oh god..."

Rather than taking my dick out of her mouth, she increased her ministrations on it and sucked all the harder. I pressed my head back into the pillows of the couch and pushed hips up into her face. I gave out a groan and began to ejaculate. I shot bolt after bolt of my hot cream into her mouth. 

Carol didn't miss a beat. She swallowed all that I had to give and she continued to suck even after she had emptied my balls. Finally, I pulled her up and kissed her, pushing my tongue into her mouth. I could taste the remnants of my ejaculate in her mouth. It was a little bitter but not unpleasant.

She smiled and said, "You are delicious."

I answered, "It's not disgusting, but delicious?"

She gave me another light kiss and said, "Well, I probably wouldn't use it for a sauce on ice cream, but I kind of like it."

I looked at her and laughed and said, "Carol you are crazy."

She just said, "Yes my love, but I'm crazy about you."

Now where have I heard that before?

She pulled back and stood up. "Why don't you get your papers together and then join me in the shower."

I sat up and said, "Sounds like an idea."

As Carol walked to the bathroom she giggled, "Now don't make me wait too long. I don't want to look like a prune, when you get in the shower."

I did hurry, but I made sure that I had everything in my backpack before I went in to brush my teeth and join my love in the shower.

For all the time we spent in there we should have looked like prunes. But, some things just can't be rushed nor would you want to rush it.

We dressed and left the hotel we wanted to spend the day sightseeing and visiting all the places of interest in St. Louis. And that's exactly what we did. Some places were good and some were not so good, but we didn't care, we were together.

We both knew that tomorrow she would go back to Santa Fe, the university and her Order and I would be back in Baltimore and the boats. But today we would be together, holding hands, hugging and kissing. Today we would be a couple.

We spent the morning visiting sites, such as the Daniel Boone's homestead and Boonesville, a bunch of museums, just about anything that might be of interest.

I can't think of a time when I was happier. Life was good and I was sure that it would be good forever. I knew that I was going to be with this woman for the rest of my life.

We got back to the hotel around three in the afternoon and went up to the suite. Carol flopped onto the couch and sighed. "Oh god Zack, my feet are so sore. These shoes are killing me. I should have worn the jogging shoes."

I sat next to her and took her legs and pulled them up, putting her feet in my lap. She lay back on the couch and closed her eyes as I said, "Poor baby, let Dr. Zack take care of you with one of his world famous foot massages."

I began to rub and knead her soles, toes and heels. Carol gave a sigh of relief and said, "That feels wonderful, no wonder this is world famous. But, tell me who else have you preformed this service for."

"Actually, you are my first customer. But after you tell everyone just how wonderful I am, I'm sure that it will be famous."

Carol giggled and said, "If you think that I'm going to tell anyone about this you're crazy. I don't want to have to share you with anyone. Your world famous foot massages are mine and mine alone."

I lifted her leg and kissed the top of her foot. I then started to rub and work on her calves. I was surprised at how tight they were.

"I thought that I was getting a foot massage," she said without opening her eyes.

"I not only specialize in foot massages, but in whole body messages too. Just lay back and enjoy and I will take you to paradise."

Carol took my face in her hands and looking into my eyes she said, "My love, when I am with you, walking, holding your hand, having you massage me, or just holding me, I am in paradise."

I smiled and said, "Well then let me take you to that place of wonder and love."

I lowered my face and pressed my lips against hers. She opened her mouth and sucked my tongue into her mouth. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into her. I tried to meld myself into her. Trying to become one with her. I wanted nothing more than to be with her always.

We made love, soft, beautiful, wonderful love. We joined like never before, we were one. Loving, mating, holding each other close. And when we came to the peak of out climax, we screamed out our love. We told the world of our love.

As we lay there in the afterglow of our pleasure I began to sing low and softly. I sang to her, I sang that song that my father always sang to my mother. I always knew it as You Are so beautiful, but I think that the real name is the Last Farewell. 

He would sing it to her after he got off of his midnight shift, which was always the most difficult. It went "You are so beautiful." You must under stand Dad has a wonderful baritone voice and he sang this so beautifully. At the time I thought that he was a nut. But now I realized that he loved Mom more than anything and this was the one way he could express it.

This was the way I expressed my love for Carol. She gripped me and wept. I can't say that I have Dad's voice but I don't sound too bad. And I sang it with all of the love I had in my heart. Maybe Dad isn't so crazy.

The next thing I knew the sun was shining through the bedroom window. It was morning. It was time to go to the airport. It was time for Carol to go to Santa Fe and for me to go to Baltimore. I closed my eyes trying to force away the morning, to force way the parting. But as I am sure that you know, it can't be done.

So I just lay there watching her sleep, almost meditating, counting her breathes. Watching her chest rise and fall. Finally she opened her eyes and turned to look at me. She smiled and reached over and took my head and pulled it to hers. She lightly kissed me.

She then got out of bed and walked toward the bathroom. I watched her as she walked. She was so beautiful, her hips swayed as she walked and when she turned toward me, her breasts shook. I was in love.

We showered, we loved, we held each other. We got out of the shower, dried off and dressed. As we had already packed all that was left was taking our bags and going to the front desk and sign out. I was surprised that the symposium paid for the last night, I had expected to pay for that.

Carol and I left the hotel and caught a cab for the airport. We arrived in plenty of time to have a bite to eat and sit and wait for the planes to board. We sat in a café and ate, talking about the things that we had to do when we got back. We held hands. We sat close, bodies in contact. It was as if by touching we wouldn't have to part, that we would be together.

We slowly walked to Carol's gate. Her flight was leaving 45 minutes before mine. We sat in the waiting area, holding hands and giving each other light kisses from time to time. Not making a scene, just expressing our affection for each other. 

Finally, they called for her flight for boarding. We walked to the gate and I took her in my arms and kissed her long and hard. I didn't want to let her go. She walked to the door then she stopped turned around and took one step toward me. She rushed into my arms and kissed me.

The clerk made and announcement, "Last call for Flight 451 to Santa Fe International Airport." Then he said, "Ma'am, if you want to get this plane, you better go now." She pulled away and I mouthed, "I love you, Carol."

She smiled and said, "In answer to your question on Wednesday morning, YES, my love, yes, I'll marry you." She turned and ran through the closing door.

I was ecstatic, Carol was going to marry me. She said Yes...YEs...YES. Carol agreed to be my wife, I would spend the rest of my life with my beloved Carol."

I walked on air to my gate, I wasn't sure how I got there or if I was at the right gate. When everyone else got up and went to the ramp onto the plane, I followed and got on. When the plane landed, I got off. Only then did look around and saw that I was in fact in Baltimore.

My parents were there to pick me up. I was bubbling over with happiness. They were not blind and could tell that I was happy about something. My mother pushed a little... actually pushed a lot, but I just said that this was not the time.

"So you're not going to tell us about the girl you met in St. Louis, are you?"

"What makes you think it was a girl?"

My father laughed, "Because we know it isn't a guy...is it?"

I laughed and said, "No it's not a guy...but you will find out soon enough."

"Zack, if you told us right now, it wouldn't be soon enough," Dad laughed.

Nothing else was said. Not that Mom was happy about it, but if I was happy then she would be happy...sort of.

How could I tell my parents that I had met, fell in love with and became engaged to my high school homeroom teacher, Sister Carol? I know that they would find out, but we would tell them together, as a couple.

The next day I went into work and as soon as the boss came in I burst into his office. "Peter," I practically shouted. "Peter, I got this idea at the symposium. I told you about the question and answer session, well this woman asked a question and I couldn't give her an answer. But I thought about it and this idea came to me.

I laid a bunch of papers with very rough sketches on them and I started to go into an explanation of what I was thinking. Then I said, "Let me get Mark in here."

"Good idea, you two work well together," Peter said.

When the three of us were in the office, I went into a detailed explanation of what I was thinking about. Mark would stop me and ask questions that to an outsider would seem off the wall, but I know how he thinks.

Finally he stopped me and said, "So you think that if we lower this, it won't create as much turbulence...that goes against what everyone would think...HOLY SHIT, I see what you mean. It probably won't. This would increase the speed...holy shit."

Peter just said, "Wow."

Then, Peter became the boss again. "What are you two working on?"

We told him and he said, "Not any more. You two are going to develop this. This is your project and I want you to make it work."

"No one is to know about this, I want this project to make the "Skunk Works" look like Union Station. No one is to even get a hint about this. The only people who will know about this is the three of us."

Just let me know what you need and it is yours. You will have priority access to anything we have, do you understand?"

"We both saluted and laughed, "Aye, aye Captain."

I called Carol that night and we talked for hours. I would call her or she would call me every night and we would talk. She was so busy, May and the first half of June were full of stress for her. With finishing the semester, preparing the exams, marking them and getting the grades in. That and giving last minute help to students who asked. It seemed that she was always so tired. One night she fell asleep on the phone. I knew that soft even breathing and then the phone fell. I yelled, "Carol" and she woke up. "Go to bed my love."

"Okay, I will dream of you."

At the very end of June, I got her voice mail, but I wasn't bothered, I left a very long message. And did so the next night and the next. She wasn't available. By the middle of the next week, I was getting worried, was she having second thoughts? Was everything okay?

It seemed that the next thing that I knew, I hadn't talked to Carol in over two and a half weeks. I had been leaving her phone messages and voice mail messages, begging her to call me. But now even that stopped, as I was told that her cell phone was no longer in service. 

I was bedside myself with worry, I called the college where she taught, but I was advised that as the summer break has started, all of the professors were away. And as Carol wasn't teaching a summer class, they had no idea how I could go about contacting her. The operator took a message but couldn't tell me when or if she would get it.

I called the convent where I thought she was staying. They said that she wasn't there anymore and were not permitted to tell anyone where she had been sent. Only immediate family would be told. They would send a message on to her and she could call me if she wanted to. I didn't get any calls.

I threw my self into my work, spending twelve to sixteen hours a day, six and sometimes even seven days a week at my desk or at the plant. I would be exhausted when I got home and sometimes I could get to sleep. It was taking a toll on me but it sort of keep the grief and worry at bay.

My Mom and Dad were worried, it was Mom who asked, "What's the matter Zack? Talk to me, you can tell me anything, you know that."

I smiled at her and said, "I'm just not feeling too well, a little too much work and not enough play." She looked at me with that Mom all knowing look, she didn't believe a word I said. But, how do you tell your mother that you met, fell in love with and had an affair with a nun? And now she won't return your calls.

Early on a Saturday morning, in the beginning of August, I was sitting in my apartment at my computer, completely despondent. After I had returned from St. Louis I had downloaded the pictures of Carol and I at the Arch onto my computer and had taken ten of the ones I liked best and made a slide show as my desktop. Today as I did every day, I was sitting looking at them.




Of Hell and Heaven Ch. 02



I was wondering what I could do. Going to New Mexico would be useless, she wasn't there and they weren't going to tell me anything anyway. Maybe go to the Mother House here outside Baltimore and have a sit down strike until they told me where she was? But that wouldn't work...the nuns would probably call the cops and then give me detention for the rest of my life.

All of a sudden the doorbell rang. I thought that it was my parents as they were the only people who could get past the doorman. I opened the door. Standing there was my twin sister Amanda. 

She pushed past me and said, "Okay, what the fuck is wrong. You have been fucking impossible for the past few weeks and you have Mom and Dad in a god-damned tizzy. Even Mark is worried and you know he never worries about anything."

She walked into the bedroom that I use as my office and sat down at my computer. You have to understand, Mandy is older than me by exactly eleven minutes. Although, I quickly followed her, I have suffered all my life for being eleven minutes younger. She is the older sister and that makes her the boss. Not that she wouldn't be the boss if she were younger than me, but this is a legitimate reason, at least in her mind.

The other thing is, nothing is private, at least from her. "We did spend nine months in Mom's womb together and there was no privacy there, so we can't be private out here."

She sat there at my computer giving me the third degree when one of the photos of Carol and I kissing came on. Mandy must have caught a glimpse of it and turned to see that and the other shots of us.

"Oh, wow, is this the reason that you are like this?"

"Yea."

Then other pictures came on showing Carol and me. Mandy looked at them and said, "Do I know her? She looks so familiar."

"No you don't know her. I met her in St. Louis."

Then the picture that I loved the most came on, it showed Carol...just Carol, she was smiling at me. She was so beautiful, it was the perfect picture of Carol.

Mandy gasped.

I turned and walked into the living room and stood before the huge picture window. This was usually the place I loved best in this apartment. The view.

It overlooked the city and on to the ocean. I could stand here and watch the boats all day. But, today I saw nothing, all I saw was the pain in my soul. The pain that permeated every cell in my body.

Mandy came out of the bedroom. "You shit head, she is a fucking nun. What are you a fucking asshole? She is a Fucking Nun!"

I turned to her and said in a voice far more forceful than I wanted, "Do you think that I don't know that?"

She looked me in the eyes and said, "Zack, what the fuck is going on?"

"I love her, I have loved her for years. Ever since I first saw her in homeroom a thousand years ago. And when I saw her in St. Louis, it was like I was eighteen again. I loved her."

"But there was a difference. This time...she loved me. I asked her to marry me."

Mandy looked at me with eyes as big as saucers, "You big fucking idiot. She is a nun, she can't possibly marry you."

I looked down at the floor and in a very quiet voice said, "She said yes."

This seemed to take Mandy back. She asked, "What did you say?"

I looked up at her and said, "She said yes. She said she would marry me."

I paused and then went on, "The last time I talked to her she told me that she was going into speak to her superior and tell her that she was leaving the order. She was going to leave the order for me."

"I haven't heard from her since. I don't know what happened. Mandy, I can't live without her." I put my face in my hands and for the first time in years I cried.

At first Mandy just stood there in shock, but then she came over and put her arms around me. "Oh Christ, baby brother, she really fuckin got to you. Didn't she?"

She brought me over to the couch and sat me down. She sat next to me, with her arms still around me. In a very soft voice that was full of love and resignation, she said, "Oh Zacky, you can never do anything the easy way, can you? It wasn't enough that you went into the Army, a fucking boat builder in the Army. No, you had to go airborne, jumping out of fucking airplanes. And even that wasn't enough, you had to go Ranger, go into combat and get your god-damned knee blown off."

"And now, you can't fall in love with the girl next door, no not my brother, you have to fall in love with a nun. A fuckin nun. Oh Zack, Zack, Zack what are we going to do with you?"

We sat there for a long time, I finally calmed and looked up at her. "Thanks Mand, I think that I really needed that and you are the only person I could cry to."

She hugged me tighter and gave a little laugh. "I know that there isn't much that I can do for you, but if you think of anything, let me know. And of course you know that I am going to have to tell them something. Mom was the one who asked me to come here."

"So I will tell them that it's a woman, and things aren't working out the way you wanted. It's the truth, so I'm not lying. I'll just try not to go into too many details. Which isn't going to be easy, they're all are going to want details. But don't worry, I'll think of something."

I knew that I had nothing to worry about with Mandy, she would never betray a confidence. We always kept each other's secrets.

I should explain one thing about Mandy, you will never hear a curse word pass her lips. I know that this sounds ridiculous, but the only time that she uses such language is when we are together and alone. This started years ago, when we first learned that there were certain words that would get us in trouble if our parents heard us say them.

We would only use them when we were alone, it made us feel like grownups and we were doing something wrong but we wouldn't get in trouble over it. This carried over into our adult life. When she is with others, she is the picture of decorum, but when we are together, she curses like a sailor (soldier?).

She got up and made a pot of tea, we sat and drank it without saying much...what more was there to say. She put her arms around me, hugged me tight and said, "Things will work out, one way or another. If she loves you as you say, you will be together and if not..." She looked at me and shrugged.

A little while later she said she had to go, as she was meeting her husband, Joe for lunch. She got up and as she was walking out of the door she turned and with an evil smile, she giggled, "One thing you must promise, you will not bring Sr. Carol to Mom and Dad's unless I am there. I wouldn't want to miss the look on their face when they meet your fiancé."

I laughed and yelled, "Get out of here." She gave a maniacal laugh as she walked down the hall to the elevator.

A little while later, I just had to get out of the apartment so I went to a mall nearby. I got a cup of coffee and was looking for a table to sit at. As I was walking through the food court, I heard a mousy voice say, "Mr. Zachary Miller, as I live and breath."

I recognized the voice and I turned to see this thin old wizened nun, the "Fossil" sitting at a table with a cup of something hot.

"Sister Miriam, what a wonderful surprise. Why you look marvelous, how have you been?"

"Knock it off Miller, you can't sweet talk me. It never worked before and it won't work now."

"But Sister, why would I sweet talk you now? I'm not trying to get out of detention, am I?"

She actually cracked a bit of a smile and said, "Yea, I guess so, but I know your type. The smooth talking ones, can't trust any of you."

Without an invitation, I took a seat across from her. She then gave me a hard look and said, "You were one of Williams' crew, weren't you?"

"Williams? Oh you mean Sister Carol. Yea, I was in her homeroom and she taught my math classes. I was one of the "Firsts."

She gave a bit of a sneer and said, "All of you boys liked Williams, didn't you?"

I had no idea where this was going and I took a bit of an attitude, "Yea we all liked her, she is a wonderful person."

I wanted to add, unlike others in your order, but I kept quiet.

"Well, it seems that she liked you boys... liked you boys a little too much. She went out to a conference in St. Louis and got herself pregnant."

I sat there staring at this nun, "Pregnant?" I asked.

"Shocked? Your sweet innocent Sister Carol isn't as innocent and pure as you thought, is she? It seems that she went to that math conference in St. Louis and came back with a bun in the oven, she is with child."

Pregnant...Carol pregnant? The word echoed through my brain. Pregnant. Pregnant with my child. Oh my God, I never thought...we never thought of using any protection. It never entered my mind.

The "Fossil" kept prattling on, I heard "Tramp", "Harlot," and many more derogatory adjectives. But, nothing stuck in my mind except "pregnant."

Then I heard her say "Tribunal" and asked, "What's a Tribunal?"

Sr. Miriam gave a smile and said, "Tomorrow, that tramp will be given a choice by the order. Either she gives up the child after it is born and accepts reduction to Novice or she is out. I think that she should be out, no matter what she wants."

At this point another woman came over and said, "Miriam, what's going on? Who is this?"

Before I could say anything, Sr. Miriam said, "This is one of her crew." Then she added, with a disgusted voice, "One of her FIRSTS"

The other nun gave an exasperated sigh and said, "That's enough, Miriam."

The "Fossil" got up and said, "I have more shopping to do, I can't say it's been a pleasure..."

"The pleasure has been all mine," I interrupted with a smile as I stood.

She gave a harrumph and walked away.

The other nun turned to me and said, "I'm Rose Quinten." And she offered me her hand.

I shook her hand and said, "Sister Rose, I'm pleased to meet you."

She gave me a sad smile and said, "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Of course," I said and we sat down at the table.

She started, "I don't want you to have the wrong idea about Carol. You have to realize, although we are nuns, we are also human, with all of the strengths and weaknesses that all people have. Sometimes we make mistakes."

I looked at her and said, "I understand, I would never think less of her...ever. But, what's the Tribunal about?"

"Like Miriam told you, tomorrow morning at 8:00 am we will meet with Carol. She will have to choose between the Order and the child. And depending on her choice, it will be giving up her child or being out of the Order."

"So you will have to wait until tomorrow to see what she does?"

"No, it's just a formality. Have to follow the rules, you know. She already told her superior that she was leaving the Order. And now...well... she will never give up her child. The thing is that I will miss her, we have been friends since we were Novices."

She looked at me sort of funny and said, "What did you say your name was?"

"I don't think that I did, it's Zachary Miller, Why?"

She looked into my eyes and gave me a sad smile. She took my hands in hers and said, "Nothing...but everything will be over by eight fifteen. Then she will be free. As I said the Tribunal will take place at the Mother House, just outside of the city. I have no idea what she is going to do after it's over, I'm sure that she has something arranged. But, she will need a friend."

She let go of my hands as we stood and said, "I had better go and find Miriam, before she gets a hold of the PA System."

I stood there and watched as she walked away. I immediately took out my cell phone and called my boss. I told him that I was going to take a couple of days off. He told me to take the whole week, "You have been driving yourself too hard. I don't want you getting sick or anything. Anyway Mark can handle the project for a few days. You guys were just running the tests and it doesn't take both of you to do that. Take some time. I've been worried about you."

I told him that I would talk to him soon and hung up.

At 7:00 the next morning I was parked in the circular driveway in front of the Mother House. There were a few other cars there so I wasn't very obvious. I sat and waited. It seemed like I sat there for hours, when finally the huge wooden door opened. A nun wearing the full habit walked out closely followed by Carol, who was wearing street clothes. Carol was followed by another nun in full uniform. 

They stood there for a moment talking and then the first nun and Carol hugged. Carol then turned and hugged the other nun. The two nuns then went back into the Mother House and the door closed. 

Carol turned and started to slowly walk toward the driveway. She was pulling a wheeled suitcase and had a backpack on her shoulder.

When she was about twenty yards from the street I got out of the car and as I walked toward her I said, "Need a lift?"

It was like she didn't see me, because she seemed to looked at me in shock. Then her face softened and she smiled, "Yea, I think I could use a lift."

I walked over to her and took her suitcase and backpack. I took her hand in mine and we walked to the car. She got in and I popped the trunk and put her bags inside and closed it.

I got in the car and started it up. I turned toward her and said, "Where to?"

She looked a little lost and said in a halting voice, "I'm really not sure...I haven't thought about it."

I took her hand as I looked at her. Oh god, she is so beautiful and I love her so much. My heart went out to her. The last time I saw her she was this poised and confident woman and now she seemed so lost. I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her. But I just sat there with her hand in mine.

I took a deep breath and said, "Why don't we go to my place. I have a two-bedroom apartment on the twentieth floor of a huge building. You can stay until things get settled."

She gave me a sad smile and almost whispered, "That sounds good...it's the best offer I've had all day. But it will only be until I can get a job, get settled and find an apartment of my own. I wouldn't want to wear out my welcome."

I smiled and gave her hand a squeeze, put the car in gear and drove off.

Epilogue

Ten years have passed and in that time, Carol was able to get a job, hell she had one within a few weeks and she got settled. However, she still hasn't found an apartment of her own and as far as wearing out her welcome...well...

It's early on Saturday morning, in the last weekend of June. I listen to the laughter and giggling as I walk down the stairs. When I enter the kitchen, nine-year-old Mikey looks up and screams at the top of his lungs, "Daddy, Mommy says that we are going to Disney World today."

I give a surprised look and say, "WOW that's great, can I come?"

Three-year-old Melissa jumps out of her chair and runs full speed into me. I scoop her up in my arms and she squeals in delight. Then she says, "You gotsta come, Daddy. You gotsta drive us to Dizzy World...Silly Daddy."

Six-year-old Jessie laughes, she has the same sweet, soft laugh that her mother has. She giggles, "You can go on the rides too, Daddy...but you gotta be good and listen to Mommy!" The three of them scream and laugh, "Daddy has to be good."

Mommy gets my mug out of the cabinet and fills it with coffee. I walk up behind her and put my arms around her. She turns her head and I softly kiss her lips. Holding my arms around her she turns toward the children and leaning back into me she asks, "If I want to go on the rides, do I have to be good and listen to Daddy?"

Again the three children start to scream, "Mommy has to be good and listen to Daddy. You gotta be good, Mommy."

Mommy leans back into me and quietly asks, "Am I good, Daddy?"

I hug her into me and say, "Mommy, you are the best."

"I had a feeling you would say that."

She takes my hands in hers and brings them down to her slightly bulging belly and I caress her.

Carol, wear out her welcome? Not in a million...no not in a billion years.

Thank you for reading and I hope that you comment. If you let me know who you are I will do my best to get back to you.

Vote if you will, but do comment. 

Again, thanks for reading.

Baron



Of Hell and Heaven



When I got to the hotel I checked in and went to my room, which turned out to be a suite. I unpacked, changed and went back down.

As I walked through the lobby looking for a place to sit and wait, I heard the angels sing. "Zachary, Zachary, Zachary Miller?"

I turned around and my eyes gazed once again upon the most beautiful woman in the world. In an instant, I was an eighteen year old high school senior, walking into homeroom for the first time. It was like I hadn't left her class, I felt everything that I felt that first day in senior year of high school

But this time she wasn't wearing a habit. She was wearing a lovely light pink blouse, the top two buttons were open. It wasn't enough to show any cleavage, but it gave a hint of her breasts below. She had on a beige skirt that came just above her knees. Her calves were slim and shapely, she was wearing sandals. Her hair was cut short and was golden red.

I was lost. It was like in those silly romantic movies when everything fades out except for the beautiful woman in front of the hero. I was in a daze as I slowly walked toward her. Then I stopped, gave a little start and looked all around.

Sister Carol looked at me in alarm. "Is everything alright, Zack?"

I looked up at her with a smile and said, "Just checking to see if there were any loaded desks around."

Sister Carol started to laugh and took both of my hands in hers. "Oh Zachary, what a surprise to find you here. A wonderful surprise. What brings you to St. Louis?"

I held on to her hands, never wanting to let go. I looked into her eyes and said, "I'm attending the symposium, giving a talk about an innovation my collogue and I made to keels for racing sailboats."

"I'm scheduled to talk tomorrow in the early afternoon, so they wanted me here tonight. But what are you doing here? The last I heard, you were teaching somewhere in the Mid-west."

She smiled and said, "I'm at the Math Conference and I'm also talking tomorrow, but in the morning. That's why I came in today, the conference people are paying for everything but my meals. So I have to fend for myself. This is the first time that I have ever talked at one of these conferences and I am so nervous."

I gave her hands a little squeeze, "Don't worry, I know that you will do just fine. Everyone will love you, and since you have to get your own meals, you can't turn down my invitation to dinner."

"You don't have to do that, Zack."

"I know, but I want to, I am sure the Order has you on a tight budget, so I have every intention to take up the slack."

I went on, "In fact, this evening I'm having dinner with a couple of Army buddies..."

"Zack," she interrupted, "Certainly, you don't want me along with a bunch of your Army buddies."

"Well, the bunch is two and they have their wives with them. You will fit right in and it will be a lot of laughs. You will think that you are back at St. Steven's"

"That's not much of an inducement, Zack."

I laughed and said, "Yea, I guess not but it won't be that bad. As I said they have their wives with them, but there will be a lot of silliness."

"If you are in the group, I don't doubt that," she giggled.

We found a couple of seats in the lobby and sat and talked. She told me about getting her doctorate and now teaching in a small university just outside of Santa Fe. She said she really enjoyed it.

I talked about work, mostly about the work on the keel and what it did as to the speed of the ship. She understood a lot of it, she asked questions and commented on what I had to say.

We just sat enjoying each other's company for about half an hour when two rather large gentlemen (and I use that word very loosely) walked up to where we were sitting. One was a blonde and the other had dark hair.

I immediately recognized them. But, they seemed to be unaware of us. They were arguing with each other.

The blonde guy (Terry) said, "I'm telling you that's not him."

The dark haired guy (Bobby) said, "Believe me that is him. That's Papa."

Terry: "No it's not. This guy here is fat, out of shape and ugly...really ugly."

Bobby: "Well, Papa was fat, ugly and out of shape. That's Papa Swiss."

Terry: "Now I'll give you, that Papa's ugly, but this guy is the epitome of ugliness. I'm sure that Papa wasn't that ugly."

Bobby: "Let me explain, when you experience extreme and I mean extreme ugliness and then have it removed, like sent back to the States, your mind being so relieved, tends to pretty up the memory of that ugliness, so you don't have to continue to experience it. What your mind has done, over time, is pretty up your memory of Papa Swiss. And I know this because I once took a psychology course in college."

I was sitting and laughing as the farce played out. At first, Sister Carol didn't know what was going on. But she soon figured out that these two were the friends I was waiting for and she sat back and enjoyed.

Terry was acting like he wasn't convinced. Bobby then said, "Here, I will prove it to you."

He reached down and grabbed my arm, pulling me up. He said, "Excuse me Sir. Will you please stand up?"

I got up and Bobby stood me in front of him. He took a really big breath and blew at my chest. Terry who was standing behind me, mimed like he was being plummeted by a gale force wind.

When Bobby stopped blowing, Terry shouted, "Christ, it is you Papa." He grabbed me in a big bear hug and then dropped me and Bobby hugged me. As we stood there laughing, hugging and pounding each other on the back, Rachel and Miriam came up.

Rachel started to push Bobby and her husband away from me and said, "Leave Zack alone, you two. He's ours now."

The two women then wrapped their arms around me and began to kiss me all over my face. Their husbands just stood watching and Bobby said, "Uh Terry, do you think we should worry about this?"

Terry just laughed and said, "You're talking about Papa. What's to worry about?"

At this point Terry seemed to discover Sister Carol, sitting and taking everything in. 

"Okay, Papa, enough. Now tell me, just who is this lovely creature," he said is a very greasy voice as he took her hand.

Bobby waked over and said, "Wow Papa, she is beautiful...too bad she has no taste in men."

Before I could say anything, Sister Carol stood and shaking Terry's hand said, "I'm Carol Williams, Zack and I go back a long time. We just ran into each other this evening."

Both Terry and Bobby took her hands and Bobby said, "By the way, I'm Robert Goldberg and he is Terrance Matson. And I know that I can speak for Terry when I say we are very pleased to meet you."

Terry and Bobby continued holding her hands and Terry was saying, "You can do so much better than Papa. A vision of loveliness like you should have her pick of real men and not settle for a broken down old fart like that."

Bobby added, "I have to agree, a woman as beautiful as you deserves something better than that patched up old soldier. Hell, he is being held together with bailing wire and duct tape."

Carol (she didn't introduce her self as Sister, so I wasn't going to say anything) smiled at them and said, "Gentlemen, I think that you should return to your wives. That is, if they still want you."

Terry roared and said, "Damn, I haven't been put down so hard, since I first asked Rachel out."

Rachel and Miriam squealed with glee, and Rachel giggled, "You two deserved it." Then she turned to Carol and said, "Carol, I'm Rachel and this is Miriam. I have the misfortune to be married to that Neanderthal (pointing at Terry)."

Miriam then piped up and said, "And I'm married to that other one. You have to understand that we didn't meet Zack until after we married these Bozos."

Bobby grabbed his heart and fell back onto the chair and sighed, "Cut to the quick."

Terry tried to reach behind him and said, "Stabbed in the back by the love of my life."

This is basically how the whole evening went, although not as boisterous. But it was all teasing, joking and laughter. We left the hotel for a restaurant Terry knew. It was within walking distance of the hotel.

There was some time during dinner when Terry, Bobby and I talked business, they were telling me about things in the unit and we discussed some of the problems. This was when Carol, Rachel and Miriam had some time to themselves.

They told Carol how I got the nickname, and gave an explanation of the blowing at my chest. The holes in my body channeled the wind into a gale force.

At one point Miriam got all teary eyed (something that happens quite often, especially when she has had a drink or two) and said in a halting voice, "You have to understand, we love Zack more than you could know." 

Carol gave her a questioning look. Rachel finished Miriam's thought. "If it wasn't for Zack, we would both be widows."

Miriam picked it up and said, "Bobby had a real hard time when Zack was cashiered because of the knee..."

"The knee?" Carol asked.

"Yea, he lost it carrying Bobby back. Bobby felt so guilty that he ruined Zack's careered." 

Rachel looked at Carol in surprise and said, "You didn't know why Zack is out?" 

Carol smiled, "Zack and I haven't seen each other in years. And tonight we didn't have much time to catch up."

Miriam went, "When we came in to the hotel lobby and saw the way that you were sitting and talking, we naturally assumed that you two were more than just friends or acquaintances."

Carols eyes went wide, "Really?" she asked.

Rachel smiled, "Let me tell you something, girl, the way that Zack was looking at you, and I have to say the way you were looking back..."

"We all thought that you were lovers," Miriam interrupted.

Carol gave them a small smile and said, "No that's one thing we are not."

"Well then you should be," Rachel laughed. "You two make a beautiful couple."

"It's a bit complicated..." Carol said.

"You're not married are you?" Miriam asked.

"No, I'm not...I'm a nun."

"Oh my god, please forgive me..." Rachel said in a soft voice. 

Carols smiled, "There is nothing to forgive. It is wonderful that you have such concern for him. I realized that he had a crush on me when was in high school, I Was his home room theacher and I will say that I am rather fond of him. I'm sorry if I misled you."

"We just made assumptions and you know what they say about people who make assumptions," Miriam laughed. "But, it's just like Zack to want the unobtainable."

At this point we guys interrupted the conversation and the silliness started again. After dinner we went to a club for a nightcap and a little dancing.

I asked Carol to dance, it was a fast dance and right after that a slow song started. I looked at her and we stepped closer. I put my arm around her and took her hand in mine. When we started to dance we were a bit apart but by the end our bodies were close.

I could feel her warmth as I held her close. As we moved with the music I became very comfortable holding this wonderful woman in my arms. The smile on her face and the way she was holding me, I don't think I was wrong in thinking she felt the same way. 

It was a little after mid-night when Carol and I said good-bye to the others. There were a lot of hugs, kisses and tears. As they were getting into the car, Rachel gave Carol one last hug. She looked at her and said, "I still think you make a beautiful couple...and I know that I will hate myself in the morning...think about it...what will make you happy." Carol just smiled at her.

We stood and watched as thy started to drive away. Carol smiled as we waved and said, "They are wonderful people. They love you very much."

As we started to walk away, I turned to look at the car one last time and I stumbled over my own feet. Carol caught me and prevented me from falling. We laughed and she took hold of my hand. 

"I better hold on to you, I can't have you falling and not being able to give your talk." Then she looked at me and asked with a slight giggle, "Tell me Zack, is it me or do you always fall over things." 

I gave her hand a little squeeze and said, "It's you."

We walked back to the hotel hand in hand, through the lobby and into the elevator. Carol was on the seventh floor and I was on the thirtieth. We were the only people in the elevator. When it arrived at the seventh floor the door opened, Carol smiled at me. She put her hand on my cheek and moved toward me. She lifted her face and I lowered mine. Our lips met. The kiss was soft and loving.

She then pulled back. At first I thought that I saw fear in her eyes. But, then I looked at her and she was smiling. Her eyes showed something, but I wasn't sure what it was. 

"Good night Zack, thank you for a fantastic evening. I don't know when I have had so much fun or when I have spent an evening with someone so wonderful."

She turned and walked out of the elevator. I watched her walk down the hall until the doors closed and the elevator took me to the thirtieth floor. The doors opened and I walked to my room in a fog.

It was like I was on autopilot. I was just going through the motions, completely taken by what just happened. I had kissed Carol. I had been kissed by the most beautiful woman in the world. I lay back on the bed and I know that I fell asleep, because in an instant daylight was filling the room.

I looked at the clock it was only eight thirty. I had about two hours before Carol gave her talk. I wasn't about to miss that. I was going to be there if I had to break the doors down. 

I showered, dressed and went down to the restaurant to get a light breakfast. As I went into the restaurant I was met by a group of the symposium organizers. They wanted me to join them for breakfast. Of course I did.

Then I saw Carol come in with a group of people. They were talking and it was obvious that they were conference officials. She saw me and when our eyes met she smiled and waved. We had breakfast with our separate groups.

After breakfast, I went and found Carol in the lobby. I went over to her and we lightly hugged. She giggled, "I'm so nervous about giving this talk. It's not like being in the classroom, here I'm speaking to my peers. They know as much about my subject if not more than I do."

I smiled at her and said, "You will do great. I am sure that you are prepared and you do know your stuff."

She came close to me and put her head on my chest and in an almost whisper said, "Zack, do you think you..."

I gave her a slight hug and said, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Oh, thank you, Zack now there will be at least one friendly face in the audience."

I gave a little laugh and said, "You will do just fine and everyone will love you."

"You too?"

"Me, most of all," I said as I gave her a slight hug.

Then one of the conference organizers came over and said they were ready for her. She asked if I would like to sit in and I replied, "Nothing would make me happier. Now I won't have to sneak in."

I went into the auditorium and found a seat. A few moments later, the woman who took Carol, came out and introduced her. She introduced her as Dr. Carol Williams, OSB.

Carol stood at the dais and looked around the crowd for a moment. She spotted me and smiled. Then she started talking. I could understand some of it, but then she started to speak Greek. Actually, discussing set theory and transfinite numbers...it was all Greek to me. But I didn't care, I was in heaven watching and listening to her.

This was not like AP Calc, I didn't understand much at all, but this was not so with others in the audience. Carol was about a half hour into her talk, when a woman jumped up really excited and shouted, "Do you mean...(Greek)..."

Carol smiled and said, "Not quite, but rather...(Greek)...am I making myself clear?"

The woman screamed, "Oh my god, I see what you mean, you have made it so cle..." She then looked around and said in an embarrassed voice, "I'm sorry, I just get so excited sometimes... forgive me." And she sat down.

Carol laughed and said, "Believe me, I know what you mean."

It seems that these people were in Carol's AP Calc class.

A short time later Carol's talk ended. She received a standing ovation. Then the questions started. For the next half hour she answered all of the questions asked.

After everything was over, Carol came over to me and looking up into my eyes asked, "Do you think that I did okay."

I looked at her and laughed, "They all loved you...not as much as I do." Carol looked at me and I laughed, "No one loves you as much as I do"

"Zack you are crazy"

"Yea, I know, I'm crazy about you."

She looked at me giggled, "Zack, what am I going to do with you?"

"Love Me?"

"That goes with out saying."

We went out for a light lunch, as neither of us had much of an appetite. She was coming down from her excitement and I was starting to get nervous. Carol was telling me that I would do well and that they would love me. She was doing for me what I had been doing for her.

We went back to the hotel and went in to the auditorium. I met with the organizers and about a half hour later, I was walking to the podium. I spied Carol sitting near the back and everything was fine. 

After I finished talking and answering the numerous questions, the crown thinned out, going to various meeting rooms. I was alone in the auditorium. Carol walked over to me and we hugged.

"You were wonderful, I am so proud of you," Carol whispered to me.

We looked into each other's eyes, our lips came together and we kissed. This was not a light, easy kiss, it was filled with love and passion. I held on to her tightly and she was pushing her body into mine. Then a door slammed open and we jumped apart, both feeling a little awkward. I took her hand in mine and we walked out to the lobby. 

As neither of us were interested in any of the breakout sessions that afternoon we walked hand in hand around down town St. Louis. Even though it was mid-April weather was prefect, cool and dry. We found a small park and sat and talked. I told her a sanitized version of the training, the times I was overseas and a very tame version of the times that I had been wounded and finally about the knee. 

She told me about being sent to Butte Montana for two years after getting her Masters. Then to UCLA for her Doctorate. Finally, she was sent to a small university outside of Santa Fe, where she is now. 

We ended up going to Busch Stadium, the home of the Cardinal's and got tickets for that night's game. They were playing Cincinnati, Carol's hometown and she was a big fan of the Reds.

After a fantastic dinner, I have no idea if the food was any good, I don't even remember what I ordered, we made our way back to the ball field. The game was close, but the Reds were able to pull it out, much to Carol's delight. We were back at the hotel around 11:00 pm.

When we got into the elevator, a crowd followed us on. It was jammed, in fact two people had to get off as it was over weight and the doors wouldn't close. Carol and I were pressed together and I put my arms around her. She rested her head on my chest and held me.

Many of the people on the elevator had been enjoying the convention and some were a bit drunk. When we got to the seventh floor, I had to push my way out of the elevator. As I did someone grabbed my ass and gave it a squeeze. I jumped and there was a lot of giggling, especially from Carol.

We got off the elevator and stood there looking at each other. I took her in my arms and pulled her close. She smiled up at me as I lowered my face and kissed her. It was a hard and lustful kiss. I felt her tongue slip across my lips and I opened my mouth allowing her to enter.

I caressed her tongue with mine and we explored each other's mouth. They danced, wrestled and embraced. We made love with our tongues. She pressed her body into mine, as I did the same to her.




Of Hell and Heaven



I moved my hand to the small of her back and pulled her into me...then the elevator bell rang and we jumped apart. The doors opened and Margaret Zeigler, one of the coordinators of the conference walked out. 

When she saw Carol, she broke out in a big grin and said, "Oh Sister Carol, I was hoping that I would see you."

Then she started to talk about a panel discussion that they were setting up for Thursday and would she sit on the panel. "I know that this is last minute but one of our speakers had to be taken to the hospital and won't be out by Thursday. We are going to fill his time with a panel discussion. You wouldn't mind, would you?"

Carol smiled and said, "I was going to attend his talk and now I have that time free, so I would be honored to sit on the panel, Margaret." She turned to me and said, "I'll see you tomorrow, Zack? I would love to continue our discussion."

"Absolutely, I definitely want to continue, I really like the way it was going," I answered and was actually able to give a smile.

Carol gave me a bit of a sad grin and said, "So do I."

Margaret looked at me and said, "I hope that I didn't interrupt...but I have been so worried about filling this time slot, we are having a breakfast meeting with all of the panel members in the morning..." 

The two of them walked down the hall to their rooms, but I only saw one of them. I pressed the elevator call button and waited. The doors opened and I got on and went to the thirtieth floor I changed into some sweats and went down to the hotel gym and worked out like crazy and then swam for a mile. I still went to sleep with a rock hard dick.

When I woke up in the morning, I had the usual morning hard on, my "morning wood" as some say. It went down after I relieved myself. I was glad about that, as I didn't want to go down to breakfast with an erection

As I walked to the dining room, a couple of the symposium organizers grabbed me and as we had breakfast they asked if I would mind doing an informal question and answer session about the keel. It seems there was quite a bit of interest in the keel and there were a lot of people asking for something more.

I said, "How about Thursday at ten o'clock?"

They were really happy and so it was arranged. I would be doing a Q&A session while Carol was at her panel discussion. I was a little disappointed that I would miss seeing her talking again but this way we would only be separated for that hour.

I had talked with the powers that be back in Baltimore before I left and the only thing didn't want me to talk about was certain manufacturing processes that they used. It seems that these processes were also used in the military craft. That would be no problem, as I really didn't know much about them.

After finishing the breakfast meeting, I found Carol sitting in the lobby, looking more beautiful than ever. I went over to her and without saying a word, she got up and we walked out of the hotel. 

It was warmer then it had been, a really lovely spring day. We walked to that small park and sat on a bench. I took her hand in mine and kissed it. I looked up at her and she leaned over to me and pressed her lips to mine. The kiss was long and sweet. 

I told her about the Q&A session and she said that she wished she could be there and I said the same thing. Neither of us wanted to go back to the hotel so we started to walk. Carol had mentioned going to the Arch, so we took a walk. As it was a Tuesday morning, there was no crowd and we got to the top in no time. Today, I had my digital camera with me and I took a boatload of pictures.

The sights from the top of the Arch are fantastic, with the views of the Mississippi River. There were barges and even an old fashion steamboat. I took photos of the scenic views from the windows, but most of the pictures were of Carol and me. I used the timer on the camera to take us both. 

I had set the camera to take a photo of us and Carol grabbed me and kissed me hard. I wrapped my arms around her and she had her arms around my neck. The camera flashed and we just went on kissing. After a while we broke and she said, "See if it looks good, if not we can do it again."

I took the camera and sort of glanced at the screen. "Oh, this is terrible, we definitely need to do it over. But don't worry we can keep trying until we get it right," I said with a mock serious voice.

It took about five tries before we got it right. Not that there were anything wrong with the first four, but the fifth one was right. That and a whole elevator of people came to the top with what seemed like a thousand kids. We took the next car down.

We walked back to the hotel hand in hand. We both wanted to attend talks this afternoon and we went to them alone. Two of the three of the talks were busts but the third was great. It was something that I was really interested and I got a bunch of ideas. Not only was the subject on point, but the speaker was a real showman.

As far as I was concerned the time I spent away from Carol was well worth it. We met outside the lobby at around five thirty and we went to dinner at a place that had been recommended by Margaret Zeigler.

It seemed that this place had been recommended to a lot of people, because there were a lot of people from the conference and symposium there. In fact we met and had dinner with the Director of the symposium and his wife.

They had met Carol before and weren't surprised to find us together. It was a very enjoyable time and he picked up the tab. After dinner we parted as they were off to a party. They invited us but Carol and I begged off, saying that we had plans.

We just went walking, holding hands and window shopping, looking in the store windows and talking about everything, about nothing, just sharing. We got back to the hotel around ten forty-five and walked to the elevator. Just like last night the elevators were jammed with conventioneers and partiers. 

And once again I had to force our way out of the elevator, but tonight no one grabbed my ass. I had been holding Carol's hand as we fought our way out of the elevator and continued to do so as we walked down the hall to her room. Once again I took her in my arms and I kissed her. This time there was no one to interrupt us and the kiss went on forever. Our mouths opened and our tongues met and danced, tasting each other once again.

When our lips parted I continued to kiss her cheek and down to her neck. She lifted her head opening her neck to my kisses. I lifted my head and looked into her eyes. Carol lightly kissed my lips and in a soft voice asked, "Stay with me, Zack?"

I answered in an equally soft voice, "Yes, my love, forever if you want."

She put the key card in the door and opened it. She took hold of my hand and we walked into her room. The room was bathed in a golden glow from the light of the full moon and the nighttime city. Carol turned and held her arms out to me. I went to her and we wrapped our arms around each other.

Once again we kissed, a kiss of lovers, opened mouthed and tongues dueling. My dick was hard as a rock and was straining against my pants. I knew that she could feel it as she pushed her hips into me. 

I moved my hands down her back and over her ass, caressing and fondling her firm cheeks. I took hold of the zipper on the back of her skirt and pulled it down. I pushed the skirt over her hips and it fell to the floor in a heap.

Carol had moved her hands from around my neck and unbuckled my belt. She unbuttoned and unzipped my pants, pushing them down to the floor. I kicked off my shoes and stepped out of my pants.

She started to unbutton my shirt. She pushed it off of my shoulders and she looked at my chest where the silver eyeglass charm was lying. A small portion of the bottom was missing, a piece of shrapnel had pushed it into my chest. She put her hand on it and looked into my eyes. "Oh Zack, you still have my charm... you kept it?"

I said, "I have worn it since that day you gave it to me, I will never take this off. I will be buried with it,"

She lifted her head and kissed me, "I love you, Zack. I love you so much."

"Then I am the happiest man in the world,"

I lifted my hands and began to unbutton her blouse. I did it slowly and deliberately, wanting to stretch out the preliminary loving as long as possible. Taking my time at each button and when reaching the last, sliding the blouse from her and kissing those wonderful white shoulders.

Her bra and panties were plain white utilitarian undergarments. Doing their job and not meant to be provocative in the least. Well, they were not intended to be provocative, but when I saw them on this, the most beautiful woman ever, they were more erotic than anything in Victoria's Secret.

She moved back and sat on the bed. I stood there looking at her, taking in her beauty and staring unbelieving at what I was seeing. All of my masturbatory dreams come true. She lay back on the bed and once again held her arms out to me.

It took me a moment to believe that she wanted me. She smiled at me and I went to her, into her arms, into her heart. I lay down next to her and took her in my arms. I looked into her eyes and saw the love that she had. I wanted this woman like nothing before. I wanted her and no one else. I would never love another, if she rejected me I would remain alone for the rest of my life.

But she wasn't pushing me away, she was taking me into her heart and soul. She would be mine forever and I would be hers...forever.

I reached behind her and unhooked her bra and slipped it off her shoulders. They revealed the most beautiful, flawless breasts that ever existed. Her breasts while not large, were lovely and perky, they were topped with perfect nipples, which were now erect and begging me to kiss them. And kiss then I did. I kissed them, sucked them and loved them. She held my head to her and softly moaned. 

Carol reached down and slipped her hand into my briefs and sort of stroked my dick. She was a bit hesitant. I later found that mine was the first one she ever touched. But she soon stroked with more confidence and fervor. 

I moved down and began to pull her panties down. I sat up and looked at her lying on the bed. I couldn't believe that a woman as beautiful as Carol would want a patched up, scarred guy like me. And she is more beautiful than I ever dreamed, her breasts are those of a goddess, she had a slim waist and wonderfully rounded hips. 

As I moved down I was kissing my way over her body. I continued to pull her panties down over her knees and off her legs. Her pubic hair was curly and glowed a reddish gold in the moonlight. Then I caught the aroma of her sex. I breathed in the bouquet of her love and I had to taste her. 

I spread her legs and kissed the inside of her thighs. Carol was writhing and moaning, telling me that she was mine and mine alone. To love her...to love her forever.

I leaned down and kissed her lips. She gasped and held my head between her legs. I began to lick her lips and suck up the moisture emanating from her sex. I drank at her fountain and consumed her juices. She was delicious, I wanted more, and I knew that I could never get enough. I licked and sucked as she moaned. I then moved my tongue to her clitoris, licking and sucking on her as she moaned, saying my name over and over. Soon she started to get louder and then she began to whine as an orgasm washed over her.

I kept at it until she fell back onto the bed gasping for breath. I climbed up her body and kissed her. Carol kissed me back and held me tightly. "Oh Zack, you have made me feel so good, I have never felt so wonderful."

She spread her legs again and she took my steel hard dick in her hand. She lined my dick up with the entrance to her body. I looked into her eyes and she smiled at me. I pushed forward entering her. I was only into her a little bit when I was stopped. Carol was a virgin. Her hymen was intact. My eyes were as big as saucers, she was a virgin. I was taking Sister Carol's virginity. 

She looked at me and smiled, "Zack, please love me."

She put her hands on my hips and then pulled me into her. She sucked in her breath as I pushed through her maidenhead. I had taken her, I was her first, I slowly pushed forward until I was completely in her and I held still. I kissed her and held her. Carol was tight, really tight. It felt like my cock would be squashed inside that soft hot sheath. She put her arms around me and then lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist.

Soon she slowly began to move her hips. Taking me into her and withdrawing a little bit. I began to move in her just a little at first and then more and more. Slowly and tenderly I made love to her. Pulling out and gently plunging back into her over and over. As we loved we became more ardent and passionate, moving faster and harder, until we were fucking each other with abandon.

Carol crushed her legs around me as her arms pulled me into her. Her vagina tightened even more around my cock and began to squeeze me. I knew in an instant that she was going into another orgasm. She cried out calling my name.

I plunged into her for a final time and gave up my seed. I came into her, shooting my semen into her body. My dick pulsed each time I shot another rope of cum into her vagina, filling her to overflowing. She held me in a death like grip as she accepted all I had to give.

Finally, I could give no more. I was completely spent. I rolled to my side and she held onto me, not wanting to let me go. I kept my arms around her and kissed her. Carol rested her head on my chest and in a few minutes I heard the soft, easy, regular breath of my love sleeping. I smiled into the dark, closed my eyes and fell into a dreamless sleep.

To be continued...

If you vote that's fine but even more importantly do let me know what you think of my story.

I have been thinking (A very dangerous thing) but if you are a Benedictine, you can tell me what I did wrong and if I can work it in I will.