9 comments/ 16424 views/ 12 favorites Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 01 By: Ascii Hi! I am back J This is the sequel to "Not What It Seems" This could be read as a standalone story, but it would be best to read the previous story, since certain parts in this story cross over with the first story. There would be at least ten chapters to this story and I have already written some parts of each chapter. If you've never read my story before, I must give a fair warning that I love back stories and flashbacks. As one reader described my story is "messy like life." You may find my story frustrating and confusing, but I assure you everything will come together in the end- remember patience is a virtue! As for those, who have read NWIS and have supported me, thank you, I hope you enjoy this one just as much. So, to reiterate, this story will have lots of flashbacks and will build up slowly, which means it is not a "stroke" story, so to speak. Of course, if you stick with me, the good stuff will be aplenty in later chapters. As disclaimers go, this story (including subsequent chapters) will contain some violence, abuse and non-consent sex. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 25/03/06 He's out again. To be honest I am not sure if I should be relieved or distraught at his once again absence. It wasn't always like this. I still remember fondly the first three months of our marriage. Granted it wasn't exactly what I had expected, but he was still really attentive and loving. But then it changed when he came home with the stench of alcohol, cigarettes and stale perfume one evening. I guessed where he was and confronted him about it. I could never forget the way he looked at me and his reaction. He laughed in his slightly tipsy state and left me standing there in the hallway. Even the next day he had no remorse. We haven't been married for six month and already he has changed. I married him and gave up my dreams because that was what he wanted... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Two weeks, Hallie mused to herself as she packed her husband's bags. He would be gone for two weeks for a business trip and also to pick up an award his father's law firm had won. He was watching her pack as he comfortably lay down on the bed. She knew he was in one of his good moods judging by the smile on his lips. This also meant it was a good time to broach a topic that she was normally afraid to do so. "Jack, I don't think I want to go the Charity Ball this year..." Hallie trailed off as she saw a flash of annoyance appear on her husband's face. The Charity Ball was something Hallie and Alin both despised. However, it was a conflicting emotion they both felt for the event; it was full of arrogant wealthy people but this also derived funds and awareness. Still, she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to go to an event and act so fake in front of people she didn't particularly like. Aside from her dislike, this year's Charity Ball also coincided with Tao and May's wedding. She had bonded with the couple during Alin and Jared's wedding. Their hospitality touched Hallie and she was eager to see the happy couple marry. Judging from her husband's expression, it was obvious she wouldn't be allowed to go. Sometimes it made her sad and ashamed that her life revolved around attending balls, fashion shows, shopping and looking after her children. Of course, to some it was a life that they would happily trade for and would use every trick in their book to snare a man that could afford to give them just that. For Hallie, however, it seemed shallow and it made her feel no better than a vulture- living off Jack and her family. "It's just...I know important clients of yours are going too and I don't want to embarrass you. I want them to see you in the best light without me dragging you down." She noted his expression relaxing somewhat. If she wanted something from Jack, it was always easier for her to worship him and state her own inadequacies. To Hallie's surprise, he got up and kissed her affectionately on her lips, "Just be ready for me that day." One finger traced her lips before slipping down to the curve of her breasts, "Wear that red dress I bought you. It shows off your tits and I want to show off what a sexy whore I have." He said leering at her. Hallie didn't even know she held her breath until she heard the door to the adjoined bathroom closed. His intimate touch had sent shivers down her spine- reminisce of the last time they had coupled. She closed her eyes and sighed in relief at the sound of running water. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Jared twirled his wedding ring around his fingers thinking back to seven and a half months ago when she had placed that ring on his finger. He smiled at the thought of seeing his wife later. Later For now, however, he was stuck in a pointless meeting, listening to sounds passing through. It wasn't because he didn't care about business anymore, quite the contrary in fact. Since acquiring The Haltor Corporation's subsidiary operations, HTU, it had been nothing but challenging. At first, he had expected to face hurdles, but the reality was on a whole different level. First of all, John Haltor's conviction and Charles defrauding scandal meant they had had to regain stakeholders' confidence, which had not been an easy task. Secondly, whilst BankSafe was a young, vibrant and innovative company, The Haltor Corporation, in comparison, was rigid, strict, and almost old-fashioned in its approach. BankSafe encouraged taking calculated risks, Haltor Corporation did not. Thirdly, many senior management and veteran workers at Haltor Corporation, though stubborn as hell, was a great asset to BankSafe. However, due to 'creative' differences they had threatened to quit. The real reason was their reluctance to hand over their loyalty to a former rival company. Even when he was on his honeymoon he had had to deal with business- though he did ignore all emails and calls for one whole week until Alin interfered and told him that she didn't mind him dealing with important things. He was surprised. What was more important than spending time with his new bride? Jared smiled fondly at the memories of his honeymoon. He remembered vividly when they- "Jared, what are your thoughts? Jared?" He groaned mentally. He hadn't been listening for the majority part of the presentation, since it was the same old shit again. It consisted of quarterly statistics on the performance of the company, and so on and so on... He had cancelled all but this meeting today. He had wanted to pick his wife up from the airport personally, but this was an important meeting with the board he couldn't reschedule again, so he had had to sacrifice picking up his wife. That pissed him off. "The mergers have proved to be a success. The merge with Haltor Corporation, working with Zhang Enterprise and the merge with MediaOne... it's been a good year for us, to say the least." "Yes... but with all the negative media associated with their name, it may not be good to play up to the fact we've acquired HTU-" Jared rolled his eyes. These meetings were so predictable. He held up his hand, "Do you think we can hide the fact that we merged with their company when it was reported widely? No." "But-" "It's been a pleasure today. I have other urgent matters to attend to. We shall conclude this today." It wasn't a request, rather a statement. If he was to stay in this meeting for another damn minute, Jared wouldn't be happy. Others nodded in agreement, some hated the fact that this seemingly arrogant man could be in charge of this company. Jared shook their hands and left the meeting. He felt like shit today. Alin needed him and he was unable to be with her. The words that she should quit working or at least go on leave were on the tip of his tongue every time he spoke with her, but he knew that was unfair. He had learnt that he shouldn't dictate her life. Never-the-less, it hurt to see Alin working so hard especially considering the circumstances. She was already home, by the time he let himself in. He could sense her presence, if the small suit case by the door was not a clear enough sign. Without seeing Alin for three weeks, he had wanted to kill Steven. After spending a good month honeymooning, Alin had been eager to get straight back to work. Initially, she didn't want to take a month for their honeymoon, fearing she would be seen as unprofessional. Steven understood the need to take a month. Alin did not and had wanted to only take two weeks. This was discouraged by both men. After a month of relaxing, exploring, making love, and making love, Jared was thrust back into reality when their busy schedule collided. It was torture only seeing his wife a few weeks every other month. It would be either him flying to Beijing or her flying back to New York. Lately, her schedule had been less demanding since Ryan had insisted on cutting back on her workload, but this time, because of complications in construction, both Ryan and Alin had to fly out. It was strangely quiet save from some background noises, which sounded like TV news report coming from their bedroom. Jared gently pushed the bedroom door open and he instantly smiled. Alin slept soundly curled up on her side, one hand rested on her protruding belly, the other was slid under her head, propping her up slightly. She was wrapped in a towel and had just exited the shower before falling asleep. Worried she would catch a chill, Jared placed a blanket on top of her. She shifted slightly but then one eye opened sleepily, "Jared?" It never mattered where he was, if he could hear the sound of her sweet voice, he knew he was home. Alin sat up slowly and stretched her arms. Jared quickly rushed to her side, so that he could support her as she sat upright. She turned around and smiled at him whilst shaking her head, "I'm not about to break. I'm okay! You worry over me too much." He hugged her from behind, his hands placed on her belly. Alin was over six months pregnant now. When they first found out, Jared was beyond ecstatic. Alin was not. She berated herself for not being careful. With her work, she didn't think it was fair to have a baby as yet, so had decided to put it off for another year or two. But with the short wedding plans, the sudden honeymoon and the blissful times she had spent with Jared, the idea of contraception was far from her mind. It had been a magical month. Alin was so excited when Jared told her he had planned for them to take their honeymoon across South-East Asia. It made her so happy that they didn't end up somewhere like Saint-Tropez- not that there's anything wrong with it, she just preferred going somewhere less like a playground for the rich and famous. During the day it was so much fun exploring, hiking and experiencing different cultures. However, at night they would bring each other pleasure, until they cried out each other's names. Jared would then gather her in his arms, and hold her all night. Unfortunately, returning from their honeymoon, Alin constantly felt nausea and tired. After putting off going to the doctors for a month due to her busy work schedule, she finally decided to go after violently throwing up one morning. She was thoroughly shocked when the doctors announced that she was eight weeks pregnant. Jared was so happy. When Alin nervously told him, he was expressionless, which agitated her. Then his lips slowly curved up before it broke into a wide smile. She could see his eyes start to tear up as he pulled her in and hugged her tightly. She needed no further confirmation on how he felt. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before the happiness and love for her developed quickly to smothering. He was always concerned and refused to let her do anything too strenuous, which included working. They had argued many times, and made up through making-love, and then argued again. Finally after persuading him that she would be careful and that he had promised to treat her with respect, which meant also respecting her right to choose, Jared had reluctantly let her go. It wasn't his intention to control her. He would never do that again. It was his concern. Alin had no bottom line when it came to working and he feared for her health. It was a challenging few months to not see his wife for so long. He had made sure to see her whenever he could, preferring to fly out to see her rather than she coming, since he feared the long flight would put a strain on her. After all, his wife was his number one priority. "I miss you, Alin." He said as he kissed her on the cheek. He shifted so that he sat in front of her, one hand shot up to caress her belly, and then he leaned forward to place light kisses there, "And daddy misses you too, baby." He pressed his face against her belly and felt the baby's sudden kick. "Alin, did you feel that? The baby just kicked!" She chuckled, "Aww, sometimes you can be so cute. Of course I can feel it. I think he's saying that he misses you too." "He?" "I-" she started but wasn't sure how to continue. "What's wrong?" "I had a dream last week. It was my mom. She was so happy that I'd found happiness with you. She said she was eager to meet her grandson. Are you not happy if it's a boy?" "I'm glad your mom is happy with me. And of course I don't care about the sex of our baby. As long as the baby is healthy then I'm happy. But in a way I do want a girl- Daddy's little girl." Jared smiled fondly at that thought, "I want a daughter that is just as pretty as his mommy." "You're so lame." She said but blushed at his compliment. "I am? Then why is my pretty wife blushing? I'm not going to lie and say I'm not worried though. I will be the overprotective father whether it'd be a boy or girl. I mean if it was a boy, I'm still worried it would lose his innocence too quickly... like how mine was lost to you-" "Innocent?" She scoffed, "You're as innocent as OJ!" He burst out laughing, but then quickly composed himself, suddenly becoming more serious, "It kills me to know carrying our baby is making you suffer." He stroked her face affectionately, "You're so beautiful. You know that? Seeing our child grow inside you... I love you more than anything. I just wish you didn't have to go through all this pain." He gently urged her back so that she could lie back on the bed. He kissed her forehead and was about to move away when Alin quickly sat up and grabbed onto his hand. He turned and saw her eyes glistening, "Jared, I miss you... come to bed." "You're tired honey-" "No, I'm not." She moved a little so that there was space on the side of the bed and patted the free space. "Come sit down." He reluctantly sat on the edge, noting her doe eyes looking back at him longingly. She really had no idea. Alin scooted closer to him and placed her hands on his shoulder, feeling him tense up. Ever so slowly she started to massage his shoulders. "You're really tensed..." He swallowed hard. "Yeah... I am." Where this was heading to, he had no idea. Letting her hands continue to sooth his aching muscles, Alin leaned close and started to nip at the sensitive skin on the nape of his neck "B-baby, what are you doing?" He uttered breathlessly as he felt her hands slowly slide to the front, and undoing the buttons on his shirt. "Alin-" "How was your meeting today, Jared?" She whispered silkily as her cold hands glided across his bare chest. The coldness against his warm skin made him shiver in anticipation. "Um... yeah it was fine." He took a sharp intake of breath, "You need sleep. After the flight you must be tired." Even as the words left his lips he could hear how unconvincing it was. He hadn't made love to his wife for nearly four months. It was stupid, but he was worried he would somehow hurt her or make her feel uncomfortable. Instead he would always ward off her advances. It killed him inside every time. He wanted her more than anything. "Jared, I want you." "But-" "No, Jared I've been feeling like this for so long. I need you." "Baby, I love you. I don't just want you, I need you, but carrying the baby is already tiring you out, I don't want to- "I've just come out of the shower and I need someone to get me dirty..." Eventually, Alin had her wicked ways with him, and as she lowered herself onto his thick hardness, Jared rolled his eyes back in pleasure all arguments fled from his mind. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Alin woke up to darkness save from the bustling lights from outside. She could hear noises from outside the room and also a delicious scent of food cooking wafting in. She stretched her tired arms and then heard her growling stomach. Alin frowned and turned to the bedside table to look at the time- 9:30pm. No wonder she was so hungry, it must have been over eight hours since she had eaten. Now she also has to consider the little one too. Grateful that Jared must have woken up to get some food cooking. She got up and put on a robe. She went in to the kitchen to see her husband looking more distressed than she had ever seen him. He was chopping vegetables like a mad man. She smirked. Again, he was probably cooking the only thing he could make that was actually surprisingly nice- seafood and vegetable pasta with a creamy sauce or some other combination. When Alin first went back to Beijing after their honeymoon, Jared had missed her a lot and decided to do something to surprise her. Enlisting Hallie's help, he managed to learn this dish- anything out of the pasta comfort zone seriously challenged his non-existent culinary skills. Without the help from Hallie, the first few times he tried to cook, it ended up pretty dodgy: sometimes the meat or seafood was undercooked and the pasta would also be under/over-cooked. As he improved through (lots of) practice, the only relapse was his tendency to under or over season the food. No one understood how he could drive such a hard bargain when it came to business but his inability to cook even the simplest dish. Regardless, Alin was touched at the effort he had gone to and the willingness for him to change his ways. A year ago when he had asked for her forgiveness, Alin was sceptical. Yes, she loved him, but she couldn't let her love and desire for him compensate his aggressive behaviour towards her. Trusting her instinct she had given him a final chance. Now watching him with his brows furrowed with intense concentration, she was elated that her instincts were right for once. Walking towards him, she still couldn't quite make out what he was cooking. Alin tried to wrap her arms around him, like how she used to, but of course with her pregnancy she had to settle for halfway. He tensed but knowing it was Alin, quickly turned around so that he could hold on to her. "Hmmm... let me guess..." She tilted her head up and he kissed her cheek, "I got it." She beamed, "Chicken and vegetable pasta..." Alin paused and pretended to contemplate, "umm... with a creamy mushroom sauce?" "You cheeky little thing." He laughed as she teased him. "No, as a matter of fact it's something I learnt whilst you were away." "Hallie taught you?" Even as the words left her mouth, Alin couldn't help but suppress a chuckle as she imagined him obediently following Hallie's orders. "Um...no... I was looking through websites and found these recipes actually." When he saw her wide grin, he pointed to the door, "Since you enjoy teasing me so much, go outside and sit. I don't want you to be in here, it's pretty stuffy and you're distracting me." He said with as much authority as he could muster. Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 01 "Let me help you." "No," he pointed to the sofa, "Go- all I need you to do is rest. I can make this by myself." "Jared-" "No." he said and dropped a kiss on her forehead, "Please? Since Ryan and Steven love to torture my pregnant wife with god knows how many hours of work a week, I need to offset that. You are my world- it pains me to see you so hard at work. Let me try and do this right," He lifted her hand to kiss her knuckles. She reluctantly obeyed. As she mindlessly changed channel on the TV, Jared came out of the kitchen and started to lay out dish after dish of delicious looking food. Alin gaped at him in surprise. As he set the last dish down, Alin looked up at him and then the food in admiration. Alin couldn't believe her eyes. Jared chuckled beside her. "I went through a lot of trial and errors. It wasn't all good. Sara and Ryan tried so hard to be diplomatic- so I went to Hallie, and she didn't hold back with her criticism. It was all constructive feedback though." The smell and the presentation was already causing Alin's stomach to growl and her mouth to salivate. She could clearly see the effort he had gone through- laid out was chicken dumplings, vegetable stir fried noodles and a prawn and asparagus dish. When Jared came to Beijing, Alin would take him to her favourite eateries and choose those dishes for him to try. She smiled warmly at him, knowing all the hard work he must have gone through for tonight. Jared tentatively watched her as she tried the dumplings. He had already tried one before he dished it up to serve and it tasted good to him. But he was still nervous. He wanted so badly to impress her. Alin choked a little on the dumpling as she tried to speak at the same time, "Jared... this is amazing. Did you really make it?" She teased. "Of course I did," He said taking the bait. When he saw a smile on her face, his expression relaxed. "I'm going to fatten you and our son up." "Jared, I feel so fat already." "You're perfect the way you are. Besides if it takes nine months for you to gain the weight, it should take you the same amount of time, if not more to lose it." "Where did you read that?" She asked as she sampled the prawn and asparagus. "On a few forums-" He stopped suddenly, considering how it sounded. Jared was still not used to this change in him. Before Alin all he cared about was himself. Now he couldn't contemplate his life without her and their unborn child. It wasn't supposed to be like that. He didn't know why he was so soft when it came to the mere thought of his family- he wasn't even sure he liked the sudden change. Regardless, whenever he had any time, he would trawl through forums and read up on everything he could about pregnancy, babies and the role of a new father. Her eyes lit up and a ghost of a smile touched her lips. She reached across the table and held onto his hand, "I love you, Jared." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Nine months ago: This was the moment of truth. From their point of view, they had a somewhat clear view of Jared's expression. After Alin's speech at the conference for the Daniel's Group, they had purposely left her on her own so that she could be left alone with Jared. They could tell he was nervous as hell, as he tried to convince Alin to give him one final chance. The setting was perfect- reminisce of how the two lovers met the first time. Both Hallie and Ryan waited with bated breath at Alin's response. They were unsure what Jared said, but Alin returned the embrace and immediately Jared smiled in relief. "Finally seeing them together makes me so happy. I mean look at them, it's so damn romantic and cute." Hallie looked up at him and smiled warmly, "I've waited five years for this day!" They smiled at each other knowingly. Suddenly, Ryan found it hard to tear his gaze away from Hallie. She was so beautiful yet he knew she was too good for him. He didn't know what possessed him to reach out to her, but he used the back of his hand to gently stroke her cheek. "Hallie, I-" One minute they were happily playing cupid, watching as Jared finally got his act together and persuaded the love of his life to give him one more chance, the next everything suddenly turned so serious. Hallie watched as something past through Ryan's eyes before he reached out and stroked her cheek lightly. She could get lost in his soft touch, so different from her husband... but she couldn't let this happen. They headed back inside after seeing Alin in Jared's arm. It took them a good five years to get their act together, Hallie was so happy for them both. But it did leave a longing in her heart. "Jared, did you hear that?" Alin whispered. "I didn't just hear it, I saw it too." Alin looked up at him in confusion, "What do you mean?" "Well in my peripheral vision, I happen to see our best friends spying on us." She tried to turn but Jared stopped her by holding her even closer, "No, they're just heading inside, don't turn yet. Besides let them think we can't see them. They are so bad at this. I don't want to embarrass them" he chuckled but then suddenly looked serious, "Alin..." "Hmm?" "Would you like to take a walk with me?" Jared smiled when he saw her nod. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie and Ryan spent the rest of the evening together, since they wanted to give their friends some space. After the interlude on the balcony, Hallie brushed it aside. Yes, they both knew there was an attraction there, but it never mattered if both of them were not going to act on it- ever. They were first and foremost friends and that will never change. They were home around nine. They weren't supposed to get home so early but she was starting to get tired due to the twelve hour time difference and the combination of drinking a little too much. Alin had messaged them earlier to inform them they wouldn't be getting back until much later. She accepted the warm towel Ryan gave her and placed it on her forehead. The warmth instantly made her feel better. "You know tonight has definitely been filled with emotions." Hallie said as Ryan slumped onto the couch next to her. "Alin deserves all the happiness in the world. Her mom's death had affected her a lot. I'm so glad John and her evil dad got what they deserved. Not to mention Jared is finally 'manning up' and admitting his mistakes. Alin giving him another chance is probably the best thing to happen to him. He better not screw up again." Hallie playfully poked him in the chest, "She's a true gem and I'm telling you, your friend is lucky to have her!" She said giggling. "Don't worry, Hals, I tell that lucky bastard every day!" "That's true. But you know the craziest thing is you knowing Jared. I was so angry when I realised you might have been in this to hurt Alin. It was only later when you explained to me that I knew you are a good guy." He shook his head, "Well you see, umm... I'd love to lie and say I was a saint, but I'm not. After hearing a brief story from Jared about Alin and then reading the reports about her alleged cheating on him, I hated her. So when he asked me to offer her a job, I knew," he shrugged his shoulders casually, "that sub-consciously he may be using me to 'keep an eye' on her and when the time was right, to screw her over. I, of course in some ways didn't agree with it, though I never really questioned him on his intentions. But I was never really against the idea- I too thought Alin was some heartless bitch." He laid his hand casually on her knee. The gesture was not intended to be suggestive but a friendly touch. "Of course when I met you and Alin, my life has never been the same since." She smiled warmly at him, "I'm so glad I've met you too." At that moment, their gazes locked, searching for answers, searching for what they wanted but couldn't have. It was hard to say who made the first move, but their lips met before they even knew what happened. Ryan was the first to pull away, but only slightly, "Hallie, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." "Are you really sorry?" She whispered against his lips, her eyes closed, "Because I'm not..." Ryan watched as her lips lifted into a sultry smile. Her wavy hair loosened and framed her pretty face. He reached up to brush the loose strand of hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "No, you're right, I'm not sorry. I only said it out of politeness..." He retorted playfully and saw her eyes snap open, surprised and humoured by his words. Again, she unknowingly made their already awkward relationship even worse than before. She didn't regret the words, but she did scold herself for saying it out loud. "So," Ryan continued as he stroked her cheek softly, "Shall we continue to make out then? Hallie laughed out loud, which help to dissipate the tension in the room. She was in stiches. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she said, "Making out... what are we, sixteen?!" There was nothing more he loved than listening to her sweet laughter. Unable to help himself he leaned close and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He let the simple, yet endearing gesture linger, "Sixteen... first love, the excitement of being close to someone you lo- care for..." Hallie blushed at his words. "It's getting late," She said without looking at him, "I'll...um... see you tomorrow." Quickly she stood up, but not quick enough to escape Ryan's grasp on her hand. "Wait- Hallie!" She remained facing away from him, fearing if she looked at him she would succumb to the uncontrollable emotions raging inside her. She was ashamed of herself for feeling this way, but also partly for leading him on. That was not her intention. "Would you-" She never heard what he was about to say as murmur coming from outside and then the front door opening interrupted them. They both froze at hearing the whispered words from their friends. "Thanks for tonight" Alin said. "No, thank you, Alin. Thanks for letting me take you out." "We'll talk about this tomorrow." Hallie heard Ryan, before he let go of her hand and went back to his room. She closed her eyes for a few seconds before standing up to go to her own room. Sleep was not going to be easy tonight. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 4:03am The angry red digits glared back at him and the first sign of morning started to filter in. Too shattered to get up and close the curtains, Ryan pulled the covers over his head in irritation. It was no use, sleeping was the last thing on his mind. He was tired, his eyes were stinging due to the lack of sleep, but still he found himself staring at the ceiling, until night turned into day. He rubbed his face in frustration. He was scruffy, he knew he looked like a tramp and he hadn't even bothered to shave his stubble in the last few weeks. The events in the past year still replayed itself vividly in his mind. Not only could he still feel the imprint of the gentle kiss they shared nine months ago, but the subsequent days after the kiss led him to believe that they could never even be friends again. He thought back to when he first met Hallie. Of course they had met mutually through Alin, but for all the wrong reasons. Ryan didn't like Alin at first, since he thought she had a part in destroying his best friend. He treated her like shit, assigning her with a huge workload compared to the others. It was predominantly a revenge on his best friend behalf, but also, he had to begrudgingly admit that she was really talented and smart. Obviously in hindsight, he's deeply ashamed of his unprofessional actions. The first time he met Hallie was when she had stormed into his office and demanded to know why her friend was working fourteen hours every day. It would be rather romantic albeit a little strange to say he fell in love with her then. The reality was he was pissed at Alin for allowing a crazy, hormonal and very pregnant friend of hers come in to his office and shouting at him. At that precise moment, he hated both women with passion. It was much later when he realise they were actually really good people. His feelings for both women were somewhat platonic at first. With Alin, it had changed from colleagues to a deep friendship. He had come to care for her a lot and sometimes felt a duty to protect her innocent nature. He didn't know when his feelings for Hallie developed to something that was no longer acceptable. She was married and it felt wrong. Ryan had experience being on the receiving end of a cheating partner; he would never jeopardize or even get involved with someone who was attached. As hard as it was, he suppressed his feelings for her- he wasn't even sure it was reciprocated. The day she cried in his arms and offered a rare glimpse of her relationship with Carter, Ryan knew she deserved better. She didn't say much as she cried- but she didn't need to. Carter's absences in Hallie's and the children's life spoke volumes already. Slowly, he realised she felt the same for him. The accidental touches and the longing gazes in both their eyes when they thought the other person wasn't looking. It was an unspoken tension that both of them would rather not acknowledge. It didn't come at a right time either: she was married; he was in a relationship with the woman he thought he would marry. His thoughts of Hallie were temporarily put aside as his attention suddenly turned to his ex-fiancée, Tiffany. Tiffany Tate. The day she came into his office for an interview, Ryan was blown away with how beautiful she was. But he did not let her good looks and great body sway his decision. In fact he interviewed other candidates for the job and had given a hard time to Tiffany just as much as the others. However, her qualifications and proficiency was beyond any candidate he had interviewed that day, so Ryan did not hesitate to offer her the job as his PA. At first she had seemed perfect. She did not mind working late into the night with Ryan and proved to be a great asset to the company. All the working late at night, the flirting and the unmistakeable chemistry between the two, ultimately led to Ryan asking her out on a date. In a way, Ryan wasn't keen on dating Tiffany. She worked for him and he didn't want to blur the line between his private and professional life. Dating her went against all his better judgement. He didn't want to come across as unprofessional. However, it was hard to ignore the attraction. He had found not only her looks that attracted him; she also had a great personality and sense of humour. What turned from flirting late at night in the office, to a first date a few weeks later, to making out fervently in his car as they were about to say their goodbyes, to hot passionate sex a few months later. Ryan was infatuated with her. They had moved in after a year of dating, and then Ryan proposed to her. Unlike Jared, Ryan wasn't a womanizer. Raised by loving parents, he had always wanted to emulate what his parents have. Throughout high school and college, when every guy was going through the stages of scoring notches on their bedpost, Ryan had one girlfriend. But they eventually broke up amicably after graduation due to her moving away for a job offer. In between meeting the demands his firm brought him, he had the occasional fling, but never anything serious. It was surreal that Tiffany would agree to be his wife- she was so perfect, yet she had chosen to be with him. Even though deep down he still had feelings for Hallie, he knew Tiffany was the one for him. The day he found a fucking used condom in their bedroom, his first reaction was to laugh. It was ludicrous that the woman he loved would take a man back and fuck him in their room. Granted he was away for two weeks for a business conference, he tried to tell himself it wasn't true. Tiffany was not like that. Laughter turned to despair- could Tiffany really do that to him? The worst thing was he couldn't even confront her because she was away visiting her parents in France. It was no use confronting her over the phone as it would just cause more confusion. Ryan thought back to a few days before she left for France, she was distant and no longer as warm as she used to. Then again, ever since they were engaged she had not been herself. In fact, Jared had met her fleetingly and stated his dislike of her. No, in fact he hated her- if his memory served him right, the words Jared used was 'fake' and a 'gold-digging whore.' At the time, Ryan had put this down to his bitterness after his split from Alin. But then again, he had noticed the way Tiffany was extra flirtatious and wore extremely revealing dresses when he took her out to events or even when she met Jared. Even his parents were a little sceptical about Tiffany, but he had been too infatuated with her to even remember what they had said. Subconsciously, he had ignored these little signs, but now it seemed so obvious. Despair slowly turned to anger. He loved her and gave her everything he could. She wanted to move to an even more affluent part of town, he let her- ignoring the sky-high rent. She had wanted to invite the whole world to attend their wedding instead of the quiet intimate affair he had wanted, he let her. Anything she wanted, if it was within his ability, he would give to her, because he truly loved her and wanted her to be happy. The thought that she cheated on him a few months before they were to marry- and on their fucking bed too, turned him into a wreck. When Tiffany came home from France, he heard her sharp gasp and then a loud bang, which sounded like her suitcases being dropped on the floor. He slumped onto the bed after his rampage, waiting for her to come in. "What the hell is going on?!" She demanded as she came into the bedroom. "Did we get burgled?" She buried her face in her hands, "Oh god! I knew we should have moved somewhere even better. Imagine if I was here- they would have taken me!" She cried noting the smashed plates from outside and all her belongings taken out of the closet and strewn all across the lobby. "So glad I changed for a later date to visit my parents." She muttered under her breath. She went around and wanted to cry at the mistreatment of her prized collection of crocodile skin bags. She wasn't sure what she was pissed off with the most: the way her bags were currently carelessly thrown across the room or the fact that the burglars didn't take them. Did they not know they cost around $10,000 apiece? Regardless, Tiffany was angry at how useless Ryan was. "Ryan, say something! Did you call the police?" She said turning to him. He looked up at her, his eyes red and swollen from the sleepless nights and the tears he had shed for the woman he loved. "Why would you do this to me?" He choked out, his voice hoarse and unclear. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, clearly annoyed at his strange behaviour. He saw it. Finally he saw what other people saw in Tiffany that he didn't see. She only cared about herself and would sell her soul to the devil in order to social-climb. Ryan always thought he was able to spot her type. He was blinded by his love for her. "We were about to marry...you" He started and saw as the colour drained from her face. She was guilty. "Who was he?" He demanded. "I don't know what the fuck you're on about." Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 01 He tried to stay calm, "Tiffany, stop lying to me... I found a used condom in this fucking room." She froze, went on the defensive and started to shout incoherently, jabbing her finger at him. "You know what, screw you Ryan! I did nothing wrong the condom was not mine. It was... Je-Jessica. I can't bring friends here? Huh? I knew you always hated her." She threw her hands in the air and started to turn on the water works. "No, screw that... you hated all my friends. I lost all my friends because of you! So when you went on that business conference we went out and after they crashed here. How was I to know that Jemma would bring a guy back and fuck him in our room-?" "So it's Jemma now?" "I... it was Jemma who bought the guy back and Je-Jessica who gave her the condom." He snorted, "Do you your ridiculous lies? Do you think I'm stupid?" She remained speechless as she tried to brew her next set of lies. She drew a blank. "Yeah, I think you're a fucking moron. Do you know how long it's been? It was way before you went on that conference." She sniggered, "way before...maybe just after you proposed to me?" She shook her head, "Look at me, Ryan, do you think I could ever settle for someone like you? You were always my backup plan." "Who was it?!" He demanded his fist clenching. "You still have to ask? Shane Atkinson." She smirked as she said the name. Ryan staggered back a little at her revelation. For the past two weeks it had become an obsession for him to know who the son-of-a-bitch was. Now hearing her utter the name with that smirk on her face, made him feel inadequate, foolish, and most importantly it broke him. Shane Atkinson was his client and filthy rich. Ryan thought Atkinson had awarded the contract to his company because of his credentials, but now he knew it was because he was screwing with his wife-to-be. Of course, in hindsight he could see it clearly: the way they embraced each other with affection only lovers could exude, and the way they smiled at each other brazenly as if they were the only people who were in on a joke at the events. Ryan laughed bitterly inside -- he was the joke. "For the last two weeks when you thought I was in Paris... I was in Monaco having the time of my life with Shane." "How can you do this me?" "Oh come on." She said, rolling her eyes. "The fact that you still have ask... he can give me a lot more than you ever can. When I first met you I thought you were different but you're just like the useless men I used to date." He remained speechless as he watched her pack her stuff in a suitcase. He was numb. She finished packing, her things filling two large suitcases. Their life together, in her point of view, being reduced to only those two cases filled with things that were important to her -- jewellery, expensive bags and clothes. He didn't beg her to stay, didn't even try to stop as she walked out the door. He still loved her, even what she had done; he was still foolishly in love with her. It seemed so surreal- the Tiffany he thought he knew for the past few years shattered in his mind. He told himself this was a dream, a joke, and a lie, anything ridiculous for him to hold onto a shred of sanity. Minutes turned into hours, and she still hadn't come back. To this day, those last words she uttered still played clearly on his mind. As he lay on his bed, he thought back to the time when he foolishly begged for her return at Shane Atkinson's condo. She had callously turned him away and threatened to call the police after taking one disgusted look at the broken man in front of her. Through those dark times, it was Hallie who had helped him by cheering him up and kicking his ass when he was becoming unbearable. During those times, he felt even more strongly for Hallie, though he put that down to his conflicting emotions. It had never been his intention to see Tiffany's downfall or wish for her life to be a misery. It was a year after their split that she came back to him, heavily pregnant and begging for his forgiveness. He was sorely tempted to for he still loved her, but after reminding himself the words she had said, you're only my back up plan he hardened his heart and turned her away. Even with the shit Tiffany had put him through, it now seemed insignificant compared to how he felt now. Hallie no longer stop by to see Alin, which was obviously because of him. Even if they could never be together, he would gladly settle for friendship. He would do anything for her to be close to him and for their relationship to return to the way it had been before either of them aired their feelings out in the open. 5:52am He felt even more frustrated now. Another sleepless night, thinking of the past year. Hallie had made it clear to him how she felt about him when he walked into her room back in Beijing and demanded to speak with him. Those words she whispered pained him. Stop living in the past. Not giving up on her will spell out disaster for you. Accept the fact that she's too good for you... she would never choose to be with you- just like how Tiffany chose to be with a richer and more powerful man. Ryan told himself as he closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep for at least another half hour. But even as the tiredness eventually took over, he felt himself falling deeper into the unknown, for this was different. Tiffany was another gold-digging whore, but Hallie...he rubbed his face with his hands in frustration. He could never have Hallie the way he wanted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I didn't run this with an editor this is because A) emails from generous lit users volunteering their time to edit for me, I can never reply because the email address always bounces back. B) I know edit takes a long time, I was eager to get this out and C) I really wanted to see if the direction I take the story without any influence is good enough. Therefore, if there are any mistakes (grammar, spelling), and if you think the story is crying out for an editor, then please do tell me. Thanks to Nurun for giving me ideas throughout our earlier exchanges, they've helped a lot. And realisticendings, for completely changing the idea of this story with your previous comment- I do believe it is a much better story because of it! Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 02 Hi there, Sorry for delay, my laptop broke last week so I had a busy week trying to get it fixed. I will finally be getting it back on Thursday, so I can start on the next chapter. Anyhow Jen, I hope you have a speedy recovery, thanks again for the edit -- any mistakes found are my fault. CVC thanks for the insight, again you've made it a better read! Thanks for all the comments -- it means so much to me and definitely brightens up my day :D *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 30/08/09 He's doing it again. This time he's really drunk and I can still smell another woman's strong perfume on him. If that's not a clear indication he's cheating on me AGAIN, the fact that his face and neck is covered in bright red lipstick marks definitely can be. The buttons on his shirt are undone, the zipper and button on his trousers are undone. I watch as he staggers in from the front door. I'm used to it- really I am. Nothing he does surprises me anymore. Cheating on me is child's play compared to what he's done in the past...but still I hold on to the flicker of hope that he'll treat me with some sort of respect by at least cleaning up and not displaying his affairs so blatantly. I beg him to not come home and shout when's he's drunk. I beg him not to curse in front of my young son. I thought at first I had married the love of my life. But now seeing him looking the way he is, slumped on the kitchen top, no doubt another night out with his 'friends' hopping from strip club to strip club, I feel nothing but disgust towards him. I try to confront him about his way- not to get him to stop, since I was over trying to do that, but I just want him to quiet down and at least have the decency to act appropriately in front of my son. He hadn't been home for a couple of months now, which makes me extremely happy. Whenever he does bother to come home, it always ends badly. Already I could feel a foreboding mood settling in. He beckons me over and I comply obediently. He wraps one arm around me, his other still holding onto a bottle of wine. Suddenly I can feel his hot breath on me, and before I could react, he kisses my neck. I took advantage of his tipsy state by pushing him away hard. He staggers and then fell to the floor. I could immediately see his expression change. I should have known better. I knew I shouldn't have provoked him. In response, what does he do? He gets up, still somewhat unsteadily, and throws the bottle of wine in his hand on the floor- it shatters, the red staining and the sharp glass scattering across the floor. His face is puffed up and he narrows his eyes. I turn quickly towards the door and sighed in relief at not seeing my son there. I was so worried it would wake him up. Just as I turn back around, he slaps me hard across the face and pulls my hair, dragging me into the living room, and pushes me onto the couch. I struggle in panic, knowing clearly what his intentions were going to be. I really did try hard to push him off of me- but he gets on top of me and starts to rip my clothes off, slapping me hard across the face when I dared to struggle again... I scream in pain as one of his knees dig into my stomach forcefully. His hands wrap around my neck and he strangles me, warning me to be quiet. I bit my lip, trying to quiet myself as I hear more ripping. I stop struggling. It would be less painful if I don't struggle. He rips my underwear off and then I felt him push inside me forcefully. He leans close to me, his head buried in the crook of my neck. I can smell the strong concoction of alcohol and cigarettes on his breath. It made me sick. After what felt like hours I felt him tense, his hand wrapping even harder around my neck as he climaxed. Finally he pulled out of me and strokes my face gently and I hear him whisper, "You may be a frigid bitch, but you're still tighter than any whores I've fucked today." I closed my eyes as I hear him get dressed. It was after a few minutes when I hear him stumble upstairs. I had gotten used to his ways and this time I was relieved that he at least didn't hurt me. I pull my ripped clothing against myself, trying hard to cover any exposed skin. I hear a noise and I turn to see my young son looking horrified. I hadn't even known that I looked like a mess until the hot fat tears start to fall onto my lap at the shame that my son had to witness the state I was currently in. He rushes over and hugs me tightly. "Monster," I heard my son mutter as he pulls away to look at me, tears quickly filling his eyes. One small hand reaches out to stroke my bruised face. I lean into his touch. "Mommy, I'm s-sorry, d-don't cry. He made scary, loud noises down here. He was very loud and I was scared to come downstairs. I'm s-sorry, mommy, I couldn't s-save you" I try to smile to console him; I try to whisper softly to tell him I was okay. But my face hurt. I couldn't do anything but cry. I hate myself for not protecting my son from this. I hate myself because I knew there was nothing I can do. Two months later, I found out I was pregnant. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Ever since Jared found out that Alin was expecting, he was nothing but a nervous wreck. Would he make a good father? Can he handle the responsibilities? He was good at negotiating deals, handling business affairs, but when it came to babies he knew absolutely nada. Sure he knew how to lavish them with love and play with them, as proved by Alex's eagerness for him to see him more often. He knew how to be the cool guy, but being hands on dad? That was more Ryan's thing. Regardless, he was planning to spend every possible waking moment with his baby, not wanting to be one of those fathers that came home when his child was asleep or left before they'd even woken up. Due to his and Alin's work, they feared they would be unable to always look after the baby. They weren't exactly keen on hiring a nanny to look after the baby for most of the day. There was a simple solution after hours of debate; Alin suggested that a nursery could be built in the BankSafe headquarters. This could also benefit other working parents and a good way to allow staff to balance between work and parenthood. A few nannies would be hired to look after the children. Jared loved the idea. This would also be a big perk for staff and allow talented female staff at the company to stay. Not to mention the time Jared could spend with his child. He didn't like the idea of being apart from his baby for too long. The truth was, he didn't need a nanny to care for his child outside of work hours, but reluctantly he knew with work, hiring a nanny was inevitable. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie glanced at her watch, 2:15 - she was late again. Picking up her pace, she looked down to see Penny still sleeping soundly. She sighed in relief. Her daughter was very much attached to her, and would sometimes cry uncontrollably if she woke up without Hallie. To avoid missing another day of school, Hallie would only leave when Penny was asleep. She feared if she heard her daughter's cries, she would soften and stay with her. When Penny was born, Hallie had never felt so distant and hard-hearted. She didn't want to spend time with her new-born. Every time she looked at the bundle in her arms, it was reminisce of what happened that day. When her daughter cried for her, she would put her hands over her ears willing for her to stop crying. When she didn't stop crying, Hallie would scream at her to stop, making the baby cry even louder and also upsetting her young son in the process. The nanny Jack hired would take Penny in her arms and soothe her, whilst trying to hide her disgusted expression from Hallie. She couldn't believe a woman could be so callous to her own baby, and had assumed Hallie to be a stuck up heiress who only had children to tie her husband down. However, now looking at her daughter's cute facial expression whilst asleep, Hallie knew, if not for what Jack had done, she wouldn't have her beautiful baby. She loved both her children equally, and would do anything for them. Hallie turned a corner and quickened her pace further. Finally, she entered the BankSafe building. Jared was already standing near the main reception area waiting for her. This was the fifth time she was late for both school and dropping Penny off. She was ever grateful for Jared's help and the idea of having a nursery built. It meant whenever she had classes, she would be at ease, knowing that her daughter was in safe hands. It was also fortunate that Penny had grown somewhat accustomed to seeing less of Hallie during daytime and spending more time with Jared and the nannies. Though at night, Penny was still very much attached to her, much to Jack's annoyance. "I'm sorry for being late." She said breathlessly to Jared. "It's alright, Hallie, don't worry about it. You've given me a chance to slack." He said winking at her. "I promise I won't be late when I pick her up tonight. I'll come back and pick her up around half five after my seminar finishes, is that okay?" Hallie said as she handed her daughter to him. "Sure. No problem." He took in her flushed face, "Are you okay? Do you want a drink or something? You're really out of breath." "No thanks. I'm in a big hurry, Alex had a doctor's appointment and then I had to drop him off at school. I was in a rush to get here so I could be on time for my seminar." "Hals, if that happens next time, call me and I'll send someone to help you out or I'll come or even Alin to take Alex to school or pick Penny up." "Thanks, Jared, seriously for doing this for me." "No problem. What are friends for?" He smiled affectionately at her. Hallie tiptoed to give him a friendly kiss on his cheek and then moved to kiss Penny on the forehead. "Bye honey, be good. Don't give Uncle Jared any trouble." Jared watched Hallie's retreating back and shook his head in sadness. He was happy that Hallie had decided to do something for herself, but there was always something that held her back. He held the baby at arm's length, dangling her and watching her gurgle happily. Jared sighed, "Penny, why won't your mommy open up to us?" He couldn't help but wonder why both Ryan and Hallie had sadness in their eyes. He had never seen Ryan look this depressed. When he finally broke it off with Tiffany, he was also a mess- but nothing compared to what he had become now. Damn! He had seen how fucked up Ryan looked. There was a niggling feeling that the way Ryan currently was had a lot to do with Hallie. It wasn't as if he hadn't reached out to his friend. Jared had tried every trick in the book, but Ryan was never the same after the wedding. He sighed in relief. At least his friend was willing to come to Tao and May's wedding. It was a consolation knowing that Ryan was willing to at least do something aside from working. Still, he knew he would definitely use the time in Beijing to talk to him. If not, Ryan was likely to do something they would all come to regret. It was not wise to mess with the Carters after all. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Returning from Beijing, Hallie had received the news that NY Fashion School had accepted her. To be honest she wasn't surprised that her application had been processed so efficiently. Her parents and Jack were against the idea of her going back to school, but had harshly stated if it was her wish to do something so ridiculous, she might as well 'go somewhere affluent.' NY Fashion School was not somewhere Hallie wanted to go to. Granted it was an affluent and prestigious establishment, but it was also full of pretentious and arrogant people. The school was well-known for 'promoting' students with connections regardless of how shit their designs were. It was clear where her designs were going to end up; since her parents and Jack were against the idea, her designs would never see the light of day. Letting her go back to school was merely a compromise. In the beginning, just a little over a month ago when she started at NY Fashion School, she was seen as an outcast. She was by no means the most stylish; she was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt most of the time. The school was influential, so naturally the way she was dressed came under scrutiny. No one wanted to 'hang out' with her. However, when news started to circulate that she was Jack Carter's wife, a close friend of the Valentine's and the daughter of a powerful casting agency, everyone suddenly wanted to be her friend. Even the so-called 'popular girls' in school suddenly acted as if she were their best friend. The idea of popularity never changes even in college. She tried to concentrate as her lecturer spoke, but she couldn't help her mind from straying. Not only did she not belong in this place, but the past year kept her mind busy. Returning to school was a bad idea. She couldn't concentrate and was a little behind with her some of her assignments. She knew it was stupid to start something she didn't intend to carry through. Her professor's words slowly drowned out and blurred as she thought back to the events of the past year... "Hallie, Hallie, wake up, are you okay?" Hallie opened her eyes groggily as she heard his soft voice. He held her in his arms affectionately. Tears started to stream down her face. "Shh... it's okay. It's just a bad dream." He whispered to her. She shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she surveyed her surroundings. What the hell was she doing? "No!" She shook her head again; the dream was so real it offered a glimpse of the situation she would be in if she continued to pursue things with Ryan. She had vowed to avoid Ryan after the kiss they shared that night eight weeks ago when Jared re-united with Alin. How did she end up sharing a bed with Ryan this time? I was packing my bags ready to leave for tomorrow. I had changed my flight to leave a day earlier. I couldn't stay here. With Alin and Jared honeymooning, and having to leave behind my young child and baby back in New York, I had never felt more homesick. Jack didn't allow me to take the children with me this time, so I had to endure having to constantly worry about them. Luckily, Jack's parents were taking care of them so it eased my worries somewhat. I couldn't wait to go back home to see them. Just when I finished packing, Ryan walked in without knocking. "What are you doing in my room?" I almost shouted. "Hallie, we need to talk..." I froze hearing those four words. I didn't want to talk. It would end in the same manner. We would be going in circles. "Ryan, I have to leave tomorrow," I said impatiently. "What do you want to talk about anyway?" I asked feigning innocence. I heard him sigh in defeat, "Hallie, you've... you've been avoiding me ever since that night. I- I want to know where I stand. I want to know..." He was silent so I turned around to look at him. He pushed his hand through his hair, avoiding eye contact with me. I should have told him to get out or at least say something to discourage him, but somehow, I found myself walking towards him. I wanted to hold him in my arms as I could see the hurt in his eyes. Finally he looked up at me. "Is this all one sided?" He asked. I felt my eyes sting. He had no idea. Still, I couldn't answer him. Instead I let the tears fall, hoping he'd understand why. His arms were wrapped around me and then his lips were on mine. Immediately I feel so much better. It felt exactly like last time. He embraces me, stroking my hair affectionately as I cry in his arms, "Hallie, don't cry." Ryan whispered, his voice strained, as he wipes the tears away from my eyes. Taking my hand he led me to the bed. Gently he urged me and he went with me. Ryan didn't touch me or do anything that was 'inappropriate'. He just let me rest in the crook of his arm, my head resting on his shoulders. We should have 'talked' like how we intended to, but somehow the silence was both soothing and comfortable. He brushed his lips against my forehead and whispered goodnight to me. As I drifted off to sleep, the last coherent thought was how nice it was to feel safe in someone's arms. So now thinking how they ended intimately embraced on the bed, Hallie turned back to Ryan. "Ryan, what are we doing?" She said as she disengaged herself from him. Although nothing had happened last night, Hallie knew it was hard to say what will happen if they continued "I-" Ryan started, but he didn't know what to say. This was definitely not the reaction he had hoped from her. Hallie got out of the bed, avoiding his intense gaze. "What are you doing?" "I'm trying to pack my stuff." "Hallie, I can't let you leave tonight. We have to talk." Hallie bit her lip and continued to search for her clothes, "No." "Please? We can't leave-" "No." She turned around started to tidy the remaining things from her luggage, "Ryan, I think it's best if we forget this ever happened." "What...what are you talking about?" He asked in shock. "This!" Hallie shouted and gestured to the imaginary connection between them. She instantly saw the hurt expression on his face. Her words came out too harsh. "Ryan, you said we needed to talk. We did talk." She whispered. Once again, she turned her back to him and resumed packing. She felt the tears stream down her face. She wanted to put on her jacket and leave this place. "Hallie... I, l-love you." She froze. He was coming closer to her, and before she knew it, he wrapped his arms around her. "Would you ever give me a chance to be w-with you?" My son on the floor crying out to me, his arms outstretched, reaching for me, but instead I choose to leave him behind so that I can be with another man while he suffers the abuse from a monster. Hallie snapped back into reality, the images were so real it haunted her. If she left, she knew her children will take the brunt of it. "I can't." "Hallie-" "No." She gently removed his arms from around her waist and turned around to face him, she tried to keep the tears in, but inevitably she let them fall freely after trying so hard to hold it in. "Ryan, please. Nothing good will come of this if we continue to pursue something that will not end well. I'm too selfish. I don't deserve you. There are plenty of girls who are much more suited to you than I could ever be." Ryan turned her around and took in the tears flowing freely down her face. She tried to hold it in, but he could see this affected her as much as it affected him. She loved him. Why the hell is she not admitting it? "You have no idea!" He said feeling his temper rise, "I want you." He saw as she turned away from him. "I don't care if you don't want to hear this, but I've wanted you... I've felt this way for five years, Hallie. Do you know seeing you with that sad excuse of a man, Carter... do you know how much that hurts me? To see you so devoted to a man like him?" He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. "As for nothing ever happening between us, I respect you. There's a difference. You have no idea how much I want you, how much my body, mind and soul needs you." Hallie tried to turn away, but Ryan used his fingers to gently tilt her chin, so that she was looking at him, "But I know we can't," He said, his voice slightly rose, "because I love you too much to even contemplate hurting you or doing something you'd regret later. Jack Carter doesn't deserve you. I want you to come to me willingly and as a free woman. I don't ever want to be the person coming in between you and him. But it's not is it? You want me as much as I want you. So... why won't you give us a chance?" He searched her expression, waiting for her answer. After a few minutes filled with tension, he heard her whisper, "-I love my husband" "...Hallie, Hallie?" Hearing a soft feminine voice, Hallie snapped back and slowly surveyed her surroundings. Students' were filing out of the lecture hall and people were waiting for her to get up so that they can leave. One of her friends was smiling at her, but with curiosity. Of course, her attentions were divided yet again as she thought about the same thing over the past few months. She looked at the fresh page in her notepad. Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 02 She took no notes again. "Babe, we noticed you zoned out again. It's okay, you can copy my notes." "Um, thanks...that's really nice of you." Hallie said warily." The girl shrugged her shoulders, "Oh my god, don't say that, babe, what are friends for?" Hallie nodded as she packed her things in her bag. She didn't have friends from any of her classes before anyone knew she was from such an affluent background. Now, not only did she have so many so-called friends, they would also bend over backwards to help her. She was really starting to dislike this place. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie surveyed herself in the mirror. Underneath the red dress she wore a push-up bra that made her breasts look so ridiculous, but she knew Jack would like it. Without her friends around this year, the Charity Ball would be insufferable. She would be forced to follow Jack around like a little lapdog or forced to spend time with hers or her parents. Alin had begged her to come with her to Tao and May's wedding, but Hallie had lied and told her that Alex was not feeling well and she didn't want to go anywhere without knowing how he is. It was a pathetic lie and it was obvious Alin knew too. She pressed and pressed but Hallie managed to stay put. In a way, it was ideal that she wouldn't be attending the wedding, as Ryan would be there. She hadn't seen Ryan since the day she left Beijing. She tried her best to avoid him so that she wouldn't make the same mistake again. It saddened her they could no longer be friends, but she could not allow her feelings for Ryan to tear her family apart. She took a quick glance at the digital clock on the bedside table -- 19:23. It was seven in the morning in Beijing, which meant that Jared, Alin and Ryan should be landing in another hours' time. She would be expecting a call or a message from Alin soon. She tried to concentrate on her appearance, making sure she looked the best for Jack, instead of letting the bitterness of missing Tao and May's wedding take over. Hallie put in her earrings and from the mirror's view she saw Jack walk in. Her husband looked handsome in his tailored suit and bowtie. To everyone they looked like the perfect couple- young, good looking and successful couple with two beautiful children. Behind closed doors held a more sinister, disgraced truth. She stiffened when she saw her husband walk even closer to her, and before she could react, he wrapped his arms around her waist affectionately. He placed light kisses on the curve of her neck. "If we had more time..." He whispered in her ear, "Fuck, I like it when you look like this..." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 25/12/07 Our first Christmas together was perfect. It was two months into our marriage and he showered me with a lot of gifts, but most importantly, also affection. Something I never had with my parents. This year, our third Christmas together... I stare at the ceiling mechanically. Blinking back tears. I tried to shift, but my body screamed in exhaustion. I bit my lip hard as I felt the pain in my most intimate parts. What did I ever do to deserve all this? The past two years seemed to go especially slow. What was the saying? Time flies if you're having fun? I can finally see the logic in the saying. Two years may not seem a long time, but my life hadn't been what I had imagined it to be. I always knew I was lucky. Hell, I was born with silver spoon in my mouth, so to speak. I was certainly better off than a lot of people, which is something I am forever grateful for. To top it all off, I then met the man that I thought loved me. I was the envy of all my friends. It wasn't intentional but when he asked me to marry him, I have to admit I was slightly smug. I was never the prettiest girl in the class nor do I have a supermodel figure, but the fact that he chose to be with me, did wonders for my confidence. I loved him- I really did. In fact, now that I look back at it, he never did love me. I mean why would you inflict pain on to someone you love? For the past two years I have learnt to hide my feelings from those that care for me...I feel as if I'd been hiding my whole life. I fear one day I'd break down and reveal all the shameful things in my life. Every time after he was 'done' with me - as he liked to put it, he would smirk at me and then leave without a backwards glance. I wish I could fight back, every time that smirk appeared on his ugly face I wanted to hit him back for hurting me, for destroying me... but inevitably I wasn't strong enough to even inflict a fraction of the pain he's put me through. A lone tear slid down my cheek and before I knew it, more and more came pouring down. I don't know how much time had passed, but my eyes hurt from the salty tears stinging and I was reduced to hiccupping uncontrollably. Taking a deep breath, I finally found the strength to get up from the bed, but the image that suddenly flashed in front of me haunted me. The image the mirror presented showed a battered, tired and pathetic woman. Skin marked by old yellowish bruises, angry news ones emerging in a burst of red, purplish blue colour. I stare at the face. Lips reddened by the blood that poured out from the small cut, tears stained the cheeks and eyes that had no life in them. This pathetic woman was me. I let someone who was supposed to love me do this. I drop to the floor, half naked hugging my knees against my chest. I silently sobbed, wondering when this could be over. Already I knew the answer, for I had been contemplating this for the past few months-if I killed myself, this would all stop. Suddenly the idea seemed so great, it brought hope for me. The irony of my thoughts was lost on me at the time. I pulled on my robe and went to the kitchen. Grabbing one of the 10inch kitchen knives I went back to the room. I was strangely calm. Maybe it was because I knew he would be angry if I'd killed myself. He would no longer have a punching bag and that will definitely annoy him. I smiled at the thought, naively thinking that taking my own life would be some kind of retaliation against him. I lifted the knife to my wrist and slowly made a small cut on the delicate skin. Blood oozed out from the wound, but strangely, it felt really good. Feeling confident I decided the next cut would be deeper and longer. My heart beat increased rapidly as I was about to make the fatal incision. The cold knife touched my skin and my heart was pounding against my chest. Just as I applied more pressure to make the cut, a faint cry in the background distracted me. I turned quickly to see where the noise was coming from. The baby monitor. I froze. It was when my baby's cries continued that I finally snapped out of the shock. Quickly I grabbed a cloth to wrap around my wrist to stop the bleeding from the small cut. I ran to my son's room and picked him up from his cot. I cradled him in my arms. I was about to kill myself and didn't even think of the consequences. After cradling him for a few minutes he started to move restlessly in my arms. His big doe eyes stared back at me and then he smiled at me. I laid a gentle kiss on his chubby cheeks and then hugged him tightly. How could I be so selfish? How could I allow that monster to break me so much so I would consider the point of no return? How could I let him dictate my son's future? I knew even with the pain and the hurt he would likely continue to cause me in the future, I could never leave my son. I would protect him if it meant I had to continue to suffer his abuse. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* She watched as her husband smiled down affectionately at her. This was not something she was used to. It seemed he was right two weeks ago when he demanded she wear this dress. She had received a lot of compliments and unwanted male attention- not necessarily all good or appropriate. It made her feel uncomfortable, but Jack was on cloud nine. He lapped up the attention, proudly showing her off to all his misogynistic friends and subtlety insulting their wives' drab appearance. Hallie really couldn't take it anymore as they continued to leer at her and make subtle innuendos. Not only did her husband not mind it, he encouraged it. But his possessive hand on her lower back screamed his undesired wishes to share her. Jack liked her to be his, and only his. He merely just liked the attention. "Jack, I need to go to the bathroom." He rolled his eyes, "Hurry back." He muttered reluctantly removing his hand from her lower back. She walked across the foyer and occasionally people would stop to greet her. She turned a corner and walked down the corridor, separating herself from the crowd. There were still people lingering around, but the noise from the crowd lessened. Hallie knew she was pretty much alone. She breathed a sigh of relief, grateful for a few minutes of silence to regain her sanity. All of a sudden someone grabbed her wrist from behind and pulled her into a hidden corner, out of sight from the crowd. Hallie wanted to scream, but as she quickly turned around, her expression changed from fear to anger and confusion. "Ryan?" She gasped, "I thought you were at May and Tao's wedding." "Yes, I was going to..." He paused, staring down at her, unsure of what to say next. "But I needed to see you." "Ryan don't." She said turning away from him. "Hallie, I can't do this anymore." He said in a low voice, "I know you feel the same way about me. Leave Carter and be with me." It was crazy. Ryan knew. But he didn't know what else to do. He knew if he didn't pursue her, she would be lost to him forever. Hallie watched his tired appearance. His face was pained and tired, waiting for her to say yes. She couldn't allow this charade to go further on. "Stop." She pointed a finger at him, trying to contain her anger. "We have to stop this right now. IF you want to even be friends with me, you have to... to stop." "Why are you still with him? Why?" "Because he is the father of my children; because he is my husband. Because he loves me-" "-Him dressing you like that? Parading you around like his toy? The whole world knows how he treats you- but you. You continue to pretend he treats you right but deep down you know it-" "It's got nothing to do with you. We love each other." "Love? Look around you Hallie! He's probably fucked a fifth of the women here- you're just deluding yourself!" He was losing her fast and he was deliberately being crude as a defence mechanism. She pulled her hand away from his grip and hissed, "Regardless of what he has done-" "-And is still doing-" He interrupted, shocked at her attempt to excuse his behaviour. "I will... I will always love him. And... and you need to leave us alone. You need to leave my family alone." She closed her eyes, "I think it's best if we forget this ever happened and also whatever happened in Beijing. Frankly it's getting tiring." She turned and shakily walked away from him. As he watched her retreating back, the first thing that came to Ryan's mind was why he continued to act like a fool. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 03 I know it's been nearly 1.5 years since I posted it. But believe me it was never my intention to leave it for this long. This past year has been absolutely CRAZY! In between laptop/computer troubles, I also work 12 hours on most days, so even when I do have time, my brain switches off. Anyway, after reading this for the 100th time, I can't read it any longer. I've definitely lost all my editors as my email account that links to this was blocked. Took me only recently to unblock it! I am back on that account, so feel free to shoot me a PM. If you would like me to reply, please do check you've entered your email address correct :) Enjoy! :) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 10/01/2005 To say that I was relieved to be home was a major understatement. All the congratulations, the fake smiles I had to put on. The last 2 hours passed by in a blur. I can't believe he proposed to me. I really should be happy that he'd proposed, but I can't shake the feeling that I don't really know him. I mean, we've only known each other for less than a year! In terms of really dating, it's only been 7 months. And truth be told, in those 7 months, even I haven't shown him the 'real me', and by real I don't mean no make up. Do I love him? I constantly ask myself this question. There's no doubt, I really, really like him -but love? I'm not so sure you can really fall in love with someone in 7 months... or maybe I just liked the idea of him. It's really strange but I get this feeling that he's not really him when he's with me. And the only real glimpse I get is when he's with his friends/colleagues. I don't know. I should be grateful someone like him would actually take an interest in me, no less marry me. But sometimes, I just don't know what he sees in me. We are very different. Not just the 10+ year age gap, but our interests are really different. I am an outgoing person, but going out with him most days so that I can socialize with his peers really isn't something I like to do all the freaking time. There are times when I feel like he's... parading me around? It always feels like there's a battle between him and his friends as to who has the hottest and youngest partner on their arms. Don't get me wrong, I'm most definitely not the hottest, but I sure am winning the youngest prize. I turned 18 not that long ago and when his friends found that out during one that I was still in high school, they patted him on the back and then whispered something to each other, grinning ear to ear. It made me sick to see their misogynistic and narcissistic views on women and how they view us like a piece of meat. As oppose to the other girls who didn't mind being viewed as a trophy, I resented that. My mom was the good little housewife and I was always taught that was what I should be. Going to the top schools was always for networking and meeting my future husband. Luckily for my parents, they saved a few hundred thousand dollars now that it looks like I may not even go college if I was really married. I mean what is the point of going to Harvard, Brown, Cornell, or whatever my parents had in mind, if I've already achieved their goals? Now as I write this and hearing my mom's screeching down the phone with her friends about the engagement, I can't help but wonder if I can get out of this without my parents disowning me. If I can't even choose which subject and college I wanted, I doubt I could get out of this. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie watched Ryan walk away from her, until he was lost in the crowd. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her emotions and control her shaking hand. As she walked back to join the crowd, she felt everyone's eyes on her. As if what transpired between them five minutes ago were witnessed by everyone and they have been oblivious to it all. Hallie was guilty and she knew it. If she couldn't control her damn mind, her husband would be able to see the guilt written all over her face. She returned and went into the crook of Jack's arm. This is where I belong, Hallie reminded herself, this is where I should always be... "What took you so long?" Jack leaned down and hissed in her ear. Hallie froze. Was this a test? Quickly she said, "I met one of your client's wife outside and we had a quick chat." He paused and looked at her intently. Hallie smiled at him trying to fend innocence at his inquisitive questions. He was about to say something but then quickly shut his mouth. Jack was no longer staring at her, and Hallie followed his gaze. Her saviour. "Brad..." She said breathlessly. Surprise was an understatement - she hadn't seen her brother for almost 5 years. Brad swooped in, ignoring his older brother and hugged Hallie tightly, "Hallie, it's been too long, I've missed you. How are you?" He said softly. He knew his brother was watching on, fuming, but he didn't care. Jack tried to control his anger. Watching as another man embraced his wife. He knew his brother had a thing for his wife. He just loved to compete with him constantly. Jack knew he was the successful one out of the two, so what did Brad do? Went and fucked himself up with alcohol and drugs, just so he could steal the limelight from him. And somehow it worked. No matter what he achieved, his parents would still have some sort of soft spot for his brother, instead of looking down on his failures, they cared for him more- "Top in class, well done honey, but now is not the time for celebration... we have to go to the hospital to see your brother." He hated that attention seeking prick. "Jack, great to see you too." Jack stepped forward, brushing Hallie aside. He embraced his brother. Outsiders would presume it be two brothers catching up, but Hallie knew better, "Listen you cunt, I don't know why you're back, but never, ever fucking touch my wife again." he whispered in a dangerous and low voice. Jack pat his brother on the back, "Great seeing you buddy, it's nice to see you looking like your old self again," He said loudly in a friendly tone, "We'll catch you later. Let's go honey." His hand on her lower back, he urged Hallie away. When they were away from the crowd, he quietly said, "How can my night get any worst. Stupid cunt." He waved his hand dismissively, "Anyway I wasn't finished earlier, I saw Ryan Harris." His eyes never left her as he uttered those words. "Is that why it took you so long earlier? Were you lying to me?" Hallie was shocked. This was definitely a test. He had seen them together. "No! "I don't think h-he would be here. Alin told me he went to Beijing with them." "I saw him." He said dismissively, "But if I see him anywhere near you, I'm going to knock him the fuck out..." He trailed off, whispering the last parts to himself. She exhaled a sigh of relief. So he hadn't seen them together. When it came to Ryan, they had argued- mostly a one sided berating from him about her supposed affair with him. He had done despicable things to her in a fit of jealous and controlling rage. Of course, it was inevitable that she would see Ryan even if she tried her best to avoid him; her best friend worked for him. However, it didn't mean he accepted it. She lost count of the amount of times she had to do anything, absolutely anything to assure him that her heart only belonged to him and no one else- especially not Ryan Harris... ...but it wasn't true, was it? She used to be able to tell him there was nothing going on in a strong voice, but since the kiss, she could no longer say nothing went on. Because something did happen. It may be a kiss, but there was always a starting point for everything. She knew her voice would quiver and her hands would shake, should Jack ever decide to question her again. The upside to all this was, Jack had troubles of his own. He just didn't have the time or energy to mind her business or do anything to her yet. It didn't take a genius to piece everything together. Hallie knew why her husband's mental and physical abuse had stopped in the past few months. Jack had landed in hot water a few months ago concerning an intern at Carter & Stone. Hallie didn't know any further details, just the facts that Alin has reluctantly shared with her. She had a feeling Alin didn't delve in any further to spare her feelings. It was reported by the media briefly concerning somewhere along the lines of sexual harassment and unfair dismissal. Hallie wasn't surprised if it was true. Her husband had a history of fucking the interns and associates, which explained why Carter and Stone was one of the top employers for equality and promoted themselves in giving many chances to women, who was known to be less successful than their counterparts in the legal field. This also further explained why Jack's hatred towards Ryan had somewhat intensified. Alin had told her Ryan was also involved in helping the young and pretty intern at her husband's firm, but was not sure of the full story. Alin had hinted Ryan's reluctance to say any more regarding the intern at Carter & Stone. She felt a sudden stab of jealousy and sadness. Not for her husband's dalliance with the intern, but the obvious affection and care Ryan had for this mysterious intern. And that was what was wrong with the whole messed up situation. Throughout the night she laughed when appropriate, listened when she had to, and most importantly she made sure she hung on to every word Jack uttered. Everything was a blur. She would act as if she was enjoying herself but secretly one eye was scanning the room, hoping to see him. But it was just that- hope. She sent him away and now she was regretting her decision. The bravado she had shown earlier to Ryan was pathetic. I am pathetic. "Babe," Jack whispered in her ear, startling her out of her reflections, "It's time to go home." He slid his hand down her back, stopping just above the curve of her rear. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 06/09/05 I am nervous. As you already know I had doubts about my wedding. I threw caution to the wind and sat down with my mom telling her how I felt. It didn't go down well. She said that I was blessed and that it was ludicrous that I was having second thoughts. Her tone started off gentle, but when she saw the blank look on my face, and the fact that my whole face screamed that I was disagreeing with her, she started to turn borderline mad. Then she started to threaten that if I didn't go through with it, I'd be living on the street... Welcome to my privileged life. Although I had wealthy parents, in this household, money becomes a bargaining chip to everything. The only good thing is, his family is very welcoming and are nice to me. But then again, there's always something about them that makes me feel uncomfortable... almost like they know something I don't. As for his brother, I didn't expect for us to get along. He is not known for being a sane guy, but how wrong it was for me to listen to rumours. He's the nicest guy! I can confide in him things I can't even tell my husband-to-be. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "Fuck, I can't believe you're still so tight..." Jack whispered in her ear as he forced himself inside her. It felt great to be inside a pussy without a condom, he thought to himself. One hand wrapped around her neck, and he tightened his grip even further as he felt his climax building. Jack made sure he would sheath himself with a condom when he fucked those dirty cunts. One BIG mistake he made in the past was enough for him to put his dick second. His wife was different though. She was his and he was the only one who had fucked her. Hallie closed her eyes willing this to be over soon. She was slightly worried with the fact that Jack hadn't used any protection. Last time he had given her a huge health scare. Still, she knew after that mistake, Jack had been somewhat more careful with his dalliances. She had seen his wondering eye during the Charity Ball and had hoped he would choose one of the girls that was vying for his attention. In the past, by the end of the Charity Ball, she would always go home alone. Her husband would sneak away with a beauty on his arm and then return in the morning with a big fat smirk on his face. She didn't always feel like this. When she first found out about Jack's cheating, each one broke a little part of her. She cried herself to sleep, blaming herself for not satisfying him enough to the point where he had to seek pleasure elsewhere. It didn't help the fact he didn't even bother to hide it. It seemed time and time again, Jack would test where her bottom line lies... he kept pushing and pushing, until one day she just couldn't take it any longer. Just when she finally stood up to him and decided to move on, he had done despicable things to her before given her an ultimatum...after that she never had a doubt in her mind whether to stay or not. Now his affairs meant nothing to her. Jack hardly touched Hallie after their daughter was born. She was happy to keep it that way, and was relieved that he sated his lust elsewhere. After conceiving Penny, Hallie had been extra careful with protection, religiously taking her birth control pills, even though he no longer touched her. But tonight was different. He was extra possessive. When they got home, he closed the front door and pushed her against it, urgently unzipping her dress. They didn't even make it to any of the rooms. He fucked her on the hard cold marble floor. After he was done, he rolled over and lay beside her on the hard floor. "Fuck, that was good." She gave him a tense smile and he smiled back at her smugly, "I love you, Hallie." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 09/02/05 "All human beings, as we meet them, are commingled out of good and evil: and Edward Hyde, alone, in the ranks of mankind, was pure evil." I love this quote from The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. I've just finished the book for my assignment. It was sad to see how the doctor couldn't overcome the 'evil side.' Most importantly, it has made me wonder whether the quote hold some truth. In class, we learnt a theory where if one tries to eliminate any dark thoughts in the unconscious mind, this would in actuality provoke the evil side and the development of a character like Mr Hyde. I just wonder whether someone could possess two opposite extreme persona in one person. Anyway, just my random thoughts- I guess the assignment has really taken over my life. Not a surprise really, since I've been spending the past month on it. Though God forbid, if a truly evil person exists, I'll never meet or even cross path with him. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie sat up looking at the dark room aimlessly. She grabbed the sheets and held it against herself, wincing as she shifted slightly. She knew there were bound to be a couple of bruises forming. She felt exposed and violated. Jack slept soundly next to her, sated and with a small smile on his lips. Instead of feeling exultant and comforted at Jack's declaration of love, she was very afraid. She wasn't sure what bought on his sudden need to declare his love for her, but it was something that didn't sit right with her- it never sat right with her. He's playing with my mind again, Hallie thought to herself. In the past, when Jack decided to play the devoted and loving husband, Hallie would fall for it hook, line and sinker. Without notice, he would unexpectedly revert back to his old ways and laugh in her face when she confronted him. He loved playing mind games with her and enjoyed breaking her. At least this time she knew why he expressed his love for her. He needed her to play along with him in showing the world what a great family man he is. It didn't help matters with Ryan's appearance tonight. She desperately wanted to tell him how she felt for him. But what use for was that? She looked at Jack... I hate sex, she thought to herself. Could Ryan overlook her lack of enthusiasm for any form of intimacy? It didn't matter anyway, even if Ryan could overlook it, they would never be together. Jack's ultimatum ensured that. He had won. Tears fell from her eyes without warning. Hallie wasn't sure how much she could take. She bit her lip stifling her cries. "Baby...Hallie, why aren't you asleep?" Hearing Jack's voice, Hallie brushed the tears away quickly and turned to face him. Even though the room was dark, lights from outside somewhat lit the room. Jack could see her red puffy eyes. "Why are you crying, baby? Did I do something to hurt you?" He said softly, though his narrowed eyes betrayed him. If her answer was not to his satisfaction, this would give him the chance to punish her. "No, I'm just so happy tonight." She whispered and laid her head in the crook of his outstretched arms. He instantly relaxed. Hallie looked up at him and smiled, hoping she had convinced him, "you make me feel so happy and it feels so great to be with you like this again." He seemed ecstatic and almost shocked at her reply. Somehow, he had thought she would stall when answering him, giving him the perfect opportunity to question her further. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "Good girl." Slowly his lips met hers and he rolled on top of her. His knee parted her thighs and using one hand he roughly tweaked her nipples. Hallie bit her lip hard, trying to balance out the pain. She remembered one time when she dared to protest being too sore for him. She had learnt the hard way that when Jack wanted something, any indication of protest would anger him, resulting in some form of punishment. Therefore, she now pretended to be a willing participant. She tried hard to relax as she felt Jack's hardness against her inner thigh. He shifted and was about to enter her, when a loud cry broke them apart. "Fuck!" He hissed as Penny's loud cries from the baby monitor pierced through. He rolled off of her and pushed his hand through his hair in frustration. "That little shit!" He said punching the bed. "Every single fucking time!" Hallie remained frozen, unsure what she should do. It was only when her daughter continued to cry, did it snap her out of her decision making process. It was catch 22 - if she went to console her daughter Jack would be pissed that she left in the middle of the fucking, but if she stayed, Penny would continue to cry- in turn, pissing him off further. "Sorry," She murmured, avoiding Jack's narrowed eyes. "I'll come back quickly." Hallie quickly picked up her dressing gown and practically ran to the baby's room. She picked up her wailing daughter and laid her on her chest. Hallie stroked her back gently, whilst singing lullaby to her softly. Within a few minutes, her daughter cries were slowly reduced to a few hiccups and then she fell asleep gradually. Hallie padded back to her own room, expecting Jack to be asleep. Not only was he not asleep, he was spread out naked on the bed and stroking himself as he fully engrossed himself with the porno on TV. He turned the volume with one hand as he saw Hallie enter the room. It was late and the children were asleep. Hallie was afraid the noises would wake up Alex. He was seven years old, and he was at an age where he would start to ask question about everything. It horrified her to imagine her son witnessing anything like what Jack had in mind. Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 03 He was doing it on purpose. She knew Jack was provoking and punishing her for leaving earlier to attend to their daughter. Hallie knew he would do anything as a form of punishment, and the children would always be dragged in the equation. Jack never hesitated to use the children against her or to control her. Hallie walked in front of the TV, only part covering the large screen. One hand reached behind and she slowly turned the volume down. She could see the anger rise in Jack's changing expression. To him, she was clearly defying him. When the volume was low enough, she undid the loose knot on her dressing gown and pushed it back. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see what would likely be a smirk on his face. You have no dignity. NO FUCKING DIGNITY, those words wouldn't stop repeating itself in her mind, as she let the gown fall and pool around her feet. She hoped this would be enough to entice him and temporarily put on hold the game he was playing. His lips slowly lifted up into a crooked smirk. Taking the cue, Hallie walked to the bed. He pulled her to him and quickly rolled on top of her. He painfully kneaded her breasts, making Hallie moan in pain. He was oblivious to it, thinking her moan was due to pleasure... or maybe he didn't really care. "Those little shits... the only thing they ever did for me was make your tits bigger." He said squeezing it even harder, his short nails digging and piercing into her skin. Hallie bit her lip, trying to contain her cries of pain. In her mind, she tried to think of anything to block out the image in front of her. But it didn't work. Stripped of her self-respect, Hallie felt disgusted and dirty with herself for letting him touch her again. She closed her eyes and mentally started to recite numbers, as she waited for him to finish. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The strong sunlight penetrated the room, waking Hallie up. She tried to scrunch her eyes shut, turn away from the offending light, throw an arm over her eyes, but nothing worked. In the end, she slowly opened one eye to vaguely deduce she was alone in the room. She sat up to her aching body screaming at her, especially her most intimate parts. Her eyes quickly filled with tears, but she quickly wiped it away, refusing to let it fall. To her, this was another day and at least she could live through this. It was a relief to know Jack had already left. He had some meeting with a client on Monday and would be gone for likely a week. Hallie turned to the bedside table to see it was just gone half past ten. She loved the weekend. This meant she could let her children to sleep in, which in turn, allowed some time for her to sew new garments for her children- something she thoroughly enjoyed doing. She stood up, but suddenly felt really lightheaded and her vision blurred. Maybe it was due to the lack of sleep or the pain. Hallie tried to rid it by massaging her temples. Putting on her gown, she was about to go in the adjoining bathroom when a loud bang sounded from downstairs. Hallie froze in panic. She wasn't expecting anyone on a Saturday and Jack was definitely out. Her children were sleeping three rooms down and she was worried the person would soon be coming upstairs to harm them. She had to act fast. Slowly opening the door, she tiptoed outside onto the landing, but more noises were coming downstairs. It was similar to people rifling around the house looking for something. She crept back into her room and scanned around for a weapon. Hallie spied her husband's prized golf clubs. They'd have to do she thought. Grabbing hold of one sturdy club, she tiptoed downstairs. The noises were coming from the kitchen. She didn't have time to think it strange that the kitchen was where the assailant chose to be in. Hallie stayed on the left hand side of the doorway to the kitchen. Her hands were sweaty due to her strong grip on the golf club. She peaked around and vaguely saw a man with blond hair. She should have recognised the assailant. Most importantly, she should have noted the man was not a threat. Clearly, her judgement was clouded by her pumping adrenaline and her notable fatigue. Walking quickly towards the man, Hallie was ready to strike him when three things happened simultaneously: the man turned around, Hallie recognised the man and she heard Alex call for her. The man held off the club that was about to strike him, "Hallie, great to see you too." He grinned. Hallie dropped the golf club on the floor and smiled widely. "Brad," She gasped, "Why did you not call me before hand?" Hallie looked around just in case her husband was still at home. His suitcases were gone and there were no other signs of his presence. She let out a sigh of relief. "How did you get in?" "This little clever fella." He gestured to her son, "I knocked for a while, about to give up when he opened the door. I thought I'd surprise you and the kids. Haven't seen Alex for a long time. The little one I haven't met at all." He cooed at the baby. "Besides, if I called beforehand there would be a risk of your husband picking up. So, no thanks, I still value my life. I knew he was going to be out of town this weekend." Turning to the side, she saw Alex eating breakfast cereal and Penny sat on her high chair with an empty bowl in front of her. She could see the nervous yet admiration expression on Alex's face for he had only seen his uncle once. Brad had been in and out of hospital for most of his childhood years through to his early 20's - he was diagnosed with Heart Disease as a child. It was hereditary from his mother's side, which explained why she cared for him more than Jack. She felt that she was responsible. They managed his health well by controlling his diet and encouraging him to ultimately lead a healthy lifestyle, but by his teenage years and 20's that changed. Jack had always seen this as his brother's way of wanting to gain attention. Brad's health worsened later on. After losing his wife and his unborn baby due to complications in surgery, he had turned to alcohol and drugs to mask his pain. It was surprising that with his heart condition, he didn't drop dead with the amount of alcohol and drugs he consumed. It was a big surprise to see Brad again. Hallie could see Brad had finally put those demons behind him. He was back to his old self again. She was always close to Brad, even with the short time she had known him, but Jack hated their easy, carefree relationship. To say the brothers didn't get along was possibly the biggest understatement. They hated each other with passion. Brad had not been an outright advocate of their relationship, but he was nice to her, which Hallie assumed to be his silent moral support. Jack had always grunted his disapproval with Brad. Therefore, Hallie never let on the extent of her relationship with his brother to Jack. It was painfully obvious to Hallie after her marriage that even with all his success, Jack was jealous of his brother. He was jealous at the fact that their parents seemed to care about his younger brother more, completely missing the point that if they hadn't, it was likely that Brad would have spiralled even out of control, after the deaths. It also occurred to Hallie much later on that Brad could lead such a carefree life, whereas Jack had to keep a low profile and pretend to be a loving family man. A week before their wedding, Jack had pulled Hallie aside and quietly demanded to know what the hell was going on between Hallie and his brother. Shocked, Hallie had explained that absolutely nothing was going on. Before Jack departed, he left her with a warning that his brother was a little shit who loved to compete with him and would do anything to take away things that belonged to him. Hallie was shocked and upset that her future husband could make such a ridiculous statement. It came as no surprise to her that Jack disliked - no scrap that - hated his own brother. On the contrary, there really weren't many people Jack actually did like. "We miss you too, Brad. It's good to have you back! It's been a long time and you look so well. "We?" He laughed, "If you're referring to you and Jack, then I know you're trying to be diplomatic. Jack was not happy to see me last night. Although he did manage to fool everyone how glad he was to see me." He rolled his eyes, we haven't seen each other for at least 3 years and still his hate for me is still so all-consuming. Mind you I still don't know why he hates me so much." "As for looking so well," he gave her a charming smile, "I guess rehab was great. Hot nurses and meditation worked a treat." Hallie chuckled but also rolled her eyes. Brad deserved all the happiness in the world. He was like a brother to her. When Alin and Jared split up, she had tried to set her and Brad up, but it was obvious Alin was never really over Jared. Hallie hadn't expected Brad to like her when they had first met. Jack was the opposite of his younger brother. At the age of thirty, he had already established himself to be one of the up-and-coming lawyers in the country. He was successful, highly intelligent and a family man. Brad however, was a social service worker, working alongside schools. He quit his jobs as his addiction got worst, but now he was studying for his master's degree hoping to work as a clinical social worker. He was not as successful as his older brother, in terms of wealth and power, but he was definitely a lot happier. Hallie was surprised but relieved with how far Brad had come. At one point, she was worried he wouldn't live to see the next day. He had pushed all those away that cared for him, isolating himself... Which you are also doing too - hypocrite! Yeah, but I'm different... How -? Hallie mentally told herself to stop. She and Brad were different. Everyone wanted what was best for him. His decisions were ruled by himself only. She had a lot more things to consider. "Hallie, are you okay?" Brad was concerned for her. She didn't look well. He knew most of it was attributed to his brother. He knew better to bring it up. Hallie was clearly in denial. He would know because that was what he did after the death of his wife. "Yeah, w-we got back really late night." She changed the topic quickly, "Anyway, stay for dinner tonight?" "What do you think I came here for? I miss home cooking - especially yours. You were a great cook even back then, I'm sure you've improved a lot since then. You cook, I clean." "Deal!" *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* "Yesss, please don't stop. Please, baby you feel so good and big inside me." She purred in his ear. She was riding him hard and moving like a madwoman on top of him. She was possessed, digging her nails into his skin as she climaxed. Inevitably he joined her and his eyes remained on her face as they both climaxed. He stared at her lovely face. Her wavy hair was sweaty and messy. She smiled that little sexy smile, beckoning and teasing him to the point of insanity. She was satisfied and he was the one that made her feel this way. Most of all, her liquid eyes were the deepest shade of brown, and staring at her always made him lose his mind. It was better than a dream, this was real, and she was real, here on top of him- "Ryan, baby." The woman rocked herself on him. He was exhausted both mentally and physically, a soft purr jolted him back to reality. Quickly he rubbed his eyes. Hallie's hair is not blonde. Her mouth would always lift up into a bright smile but also somehow sensual. Erotic. Her liquid eyes would light up in the throes of passion. He knew that. He guessed that. He Imagined that. The woman on top of him had cat-like eyes, a sharp green colour. She was sexy, voluptuous and moved on top of him like an animal. She was wild and beautiful. She was everything a man loved to have in his bed. Everything Ryan liked - should like. But she wasn't her. She wasn't Hallie. She rolled off him and snuggled close to him, "Babe, that's so good. You always give it to me so good." One hand drifted down to stroke his soft cock. "You know I thought I could get over how good you are. I thought," She paused and smiled as she felt his cock slowly hardening under her ministrations, "Every time I come back to you, you remind why this stupid no string attach thing I said sounds so stupid." When he didn't say anything she sat up a little and kissed his cheek, her hand still stroking up and down his cock. She whispered, "Kelly Harris, it does have a nice ring to it doesn't it?" She chuckled to herself, thinking she had him nicely wrapped around her little finger. "Hmmm, baby what would you do without me, huh? Only I know how to take care of you..." Ryan didn't know whether to indulge her or tell her how he felt. After his soon-to-be-wife, Tiffany deserted him, Kelly, a so-called acquaintance had called him out of the blue to offer her condolences. She was available and told him straight she wanted nothing out of him in terms of commitment, though she never hesitated to call him regarding money issues. He allowed himself to be used. He accepted almost anything she proposed, though after spending a few months with her, he knew he couldn't do the no-string attached thing. He wanted her and found that he really cared for her. She hadn't felt the same and laughed in his face. It did hurt his pride, but nothing compared to what Tiffany had put him through. Kelly left and Ryan thought that was it. But over the years, he found Kelly would always come back to him for a period of time and then leave him again, especially if she needed something from him. Ryan had realized he didn't really care about her. He was vulnerable at the time, and was glad she didn't want to be with him. However, she thought she was so irresistible, that when she decided it was time to settle down, Ryan would be waiting for her. He didn't want her. If he couldn't have the woman he truly loved, he would not settle for anything less. "Ryan, Ryan. Are you listening to me?" "Yeah, I am. You said no strings, I remember." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* He was so pumped tonight. After getting off the company's private jet, Jack was more than ready to party to his heart content. The client who he was due to represent on Monday was a close friend. His client was charged with attempting to murder his estranged wife. The case was a sure win for Jack. Although the prosecutors alleged possessed new evidence, Jack knew it would never be enough to incriminate his client. So, for now, both men would be partying in all the hotspots in the Bay Area. Jack loved his freedom and it frustrated him that he had to hide his ways. It was also ideal to get out of New York for a few weeks. He had landed in shit a few months ago. That little bitch he hired as an intern really fucked him up. He couldn't believe she dared to bring a Wrongful Termination, Sexual Harassment and Sex Discrimination suit against him and his firm. He had never lost a case before, nor even had to resort to settling out of court. But this little bitch had tainted his reputation and made him a laughing stock. He had bargained with her... well, more on the verge of threatening her that if she didn't drop the case, he would personally make sure that she was finished in the legal industry. His exact words to her were: if you don't drop this case, I'd make sure you won't even get a job in the mail room at any law firm. He could see her demeanour change when he uttered those words. He knew she was going to drop the case... That was, until Ryan Harris stepped in. Ryan knew the managing partner from rival firm, Morgan & White, and had introduced the intern to them. Not only did Morgan & White take on the suit the intern bought against them, they had decided to offer her a position as an associate. That was a punch in his face. He had demanded for Morgan &White to drop the case, telling them it was absolutely ludicrous of them to take on this case. Of course they were the ones to laugh at him. It sure had guilt written over it that a powerful law firm would be willing to take on her case, and especially as a pro bono. Jack knew it was a smear campaign against him. After all, the two firms were bitter rivals and had pouched clients from each other. He couldn't let the case go on. It could take months for it to even get to trial. So when they had given him an ultimatum of settling out of court or going to trial, Jack naturally took the former. To add salt to his wound he was dubbed the Intern Killer amongst his cohorts. Of course, before this whole fiasco, he was pretty proud of that label. Carter & Stone would only offer training contracts to Ivy League candidates, so competition was fierce - most young, beautiful and zealous interns did not hesitate to fuck their way to the top. This was taken great advantage by Jack. But now it was a fucking liability. Everyone in the industry had known about this so-called sexual harassment with the supposed slutty intern. No one ever dared ask him directly about the lawsuit, but they would drop subtle comments mocking him during social and business events. He was now a laughing stock amongst those fat, old balding fellow attorneys who used to be envious of him. Jack was used to using those little desperate whores. But when he met this hot intern at a welcoming party at his firm, he wanted to know her. He had seen her look at his direction many times throughout the night. She was not a familiar face and Jack knew she didn't work at his firm. He would definitely not forget her, if he'd seen her before. He deduced she must be someone's girlfriend or wife. But she wasn't. she was merely a friend of one of those poor third year associate. It was obvious that she was using the associate. Jack knew this girl had an ulterior motive. He was not wrong. She had brazenly introduced herself to him. She was a fresh graduate and wanted to work at his firm. She didn't beat around the bush, and to Jack that was extremely refreshing. She was different. For one, she wasn't Ivy League educated unlike any of the other associates. Though he tried to hire ones that were attractive, it was also important if they weren't dumb as fuck. After all, he was still somewhat aware of his priorities. But Jack was enamoured by her. She may not be an Ivy League graduate but in terms of her credibility as an employee, he would be a fool not to hire her. The glowing recommendations from her college and from summer internships made it almost impossible for anyone to disagree with his decision. But that wasn't only it. She had balls and challenged him, where no other freshly graduate would ever even dare speak with him. She had an aura of confidence that was so strangely attractive for a man that was used to getting his ways. She knew she affected him, and she definitely did not hesitate to cleverly use it to her advantage. She was charming, sharp, extremely intelligent, and also beautiful, which led Jack to break the company's number one rule of hiring someone outside of the Elite colleges. Jack had made sure he would be training her personally. She was his associate and everyone knew what that meant. Unlike other female associate, she was always subtle and did not throw herself at him. He liked a challenge and knew she was definitely worth chasing for. He knew the day when he finally fucked her, it would definitely be extremely satisfying. But the waiting wasn't easy. Her mere presence was a tease in itself. Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 03 Jack was getting impatient. Within a month of starting out as a rookie, she had not only charmed everyone, but she proved she was also a serious attorney in the making. Even the senior partners have sung their praises of her. After Jack had won a particular high profile case, the client had thrown a party in his honour. The client had insisted on inviting everyone involved in the case and had personally invited the associate. She had been an asset on the case, and for once, Jack had openly given her credit. Jack took her with him as his escort. There were a few surprised looks from the others when he chose not to take his wife, but no one dared say anything. In their eyes, it was obvious he was fucking the hot intern. Jack had taken her around, introducing her to everyone that mattered, proudly showing her off. By the end of the night, a little tipsy and horny as fuck, Jack had decided to take her back to his place. He had whispered and slurred the words to his driver, not wanting the little minx to know of his plans. He ushered her in the car and immediately she knew trouble would brew. Throughout the night, he had barely kept his hands off her and his touches were on the verge of indecency. Jack closed the divider, separating the driver from them. When the car started, Jack turned to her and grinned, his face expressing his every wicked intention. He moved closer to her, backing her towards the other side. By now, his body was touching hers. Jack leaned even closer and started to whisper all the things he would do to her. His hands drifted to her thighs, pushing the dress up. She had tried to push his hand away, dissuading his desire with words of discouragement. Jack wasn't even aware of her discomforts. In fact he liked it when women played games with him and pretended they were a little reluctant. It made the chase more thrilling. However, in his usual narcissistic behaviour, he didn't know or care that her reluctance were genuine. "Jack, please, no..." she had said in panic. "Yes! Baby, you want this. No need to act modest now. Come, I need to fuck you so bad. You're so fucking beautiful." He said hungrily as his hands reached her panties. He was about to rip it off. "Jack, NO! please. I don't want this." she said as she covered her hands with his, trying to move it away. "Come now babe." Though his tone was light, there was an obvious warning to it, "YOU want this. You want this so much you're going to spread those beautiful legs for me. I know these past few months, you've been trying your best to seduce me." "Jack, NO-" "Listen, you dirty bitch," He said, no longer in the mood for seduction, "I'm sick of your games. Open your fucking legs." Without warning, he ripped the slit of her dress. In a panic, she pushed him away. He fell onto the floor of the car with no resistance. He was so surprised that he hadn't seen it coming. In her state of panic, she had shifted and, in the process, stepped on his hand with her stiletto. He screamed in pain, quickly getting up. "You FUCKING bitch." He shouted his eyes wide and his breathing erratic. He stank of alcohol and cigarettes. She glared back at him, "I said NO you ass hole!" She said jabbing her fingers in front of his face. She leaned over and banged on the divider, "Stop the fucking car NOW!" The car abruptly stopped and the door opened automatically. She pushed past Jack to exit the car. He didn't try to stop her- he was tired and drunk. Before she left, he warned her, "If you leave now, you'll regret this." But she was already picking up speed and didn't even look back at him. She had the whole weekend to consider her next move. Jack Carter was a creepy fuck and a very cruel man. She had heard as much through the grapevine. He knew she would no longer be his "favourite" and he'd make sure she paid. But then again, she was sure he wouldn't dare do anything straight away. He may slowly nit-pick and use it as an excuse to get rid of her. For now, she was an asset to Carter & Stone and was well-liked. Though in the beginning she had used underhanded methods to get the job, she had proved herself and knew it must be enough to keep her job for now. She knew he couldn't dismiss her just yet. By the time he had enough excuses, she'd be off. That was the plan... ...that failed miserably. Because Jack Carter lived by his own rules. He was used to doing whatever the fuck he liked save from murder. Come to think of it, if he was to murder anyone, he could probably get away with it. She knew something was amiss when upon her arrival, instead of the reception girls smiling and greeting her sweetly like usual, they ignored her, frankly picked up the phone to dial a number, and avoided looking in her direction. As she walked into the main office, people in their cubicle avoiding looking at her, and just before she was about to enter her own office, 2 guards stopped her "We're told to watch you pack your stuff. Then you may be on your way out." She didn't contest. She knew the reason. She packed her stuff, feeling her cheeks redden, as she noticed all her fellow colleagues trying hard not to stare at her. The security guards left the door open at the request of "management." No 1st year associate had ever had an office before. Not even the ones Jack Carter had fucked before. It was obvious her departure would make a lot of people happy. Just as she was nearly finished packing, Jack strolled past her office. He swaggered into her office, as if he were king. He placed his hands on her desk and stared at her from the opposite side. His back was to the audience. She knew the whole place held their breath at what would happen next. On Friday, she had been his companion to an important event- now she was fired three days later. "Honey, honey," He whispered, making sure no one could hear the endearment, then his voice rose, making sure everyone heard the rest of his speech, "I hate to let you go. We thought you were an asset to our firm..." She opened her mouth to retaliate but he placed his fingers on his lips and narrowed his eyes at her as a warning. "But you embarrassed our firm. The way you conducted yourself on Friday..." He didn't say any more and left. All of her colleagues were staring at Jack's retreating back and then at her. They then quickly went back to work as if nothing had happened. One of the associate who was a 3rd year, Jason, slipped into her office and whispered that if she needed anything, he would be there for her. He was her friend prior to this whole fiasco. He never judged her when he knew she was using underhanded methods to get the job. He was the only one who had even dared to speak with her. Everyone had pretended to not know her. How different this was compared to a few days earlier when everyone wanted to be her best friend. As she waited for the lift carrying a box of her belongings, she noticed that the two security guards had left her side. She turned to see Jack Carter beside her. He looked straight ahead, but she knew he wanted to speak with her. "You know you're a very clever girl-" "I know." He chuckled sarcastically, "But you overestimate yourself. You thought you could play games with me? I only gave you a chance because I knew I'd have a pussy to fuck and a smart enough one to work for me. You're not the only intern to try and fuck her way to the top-" "I didn't have to. You were falling over yourself to hire me. All I had to do was pay you some attention and already you were hooked. I never intended to fuck you," It was her turn to laugh mockingly at him, "You wouldn't have even got a hand job from me!" He turned to look at her now, his eyes narrowed. She knew she had got to him, "You fucking bitch," He hissed, "I'd make sure you won't make it anyway as an attorney. No one would even hire you as a paralegal." He shook his head, "No, I'd make sure you wouldn't even be hired to work in the mail room in any law firm. You can go back to what you're good at- opening your legs and lying on your back-" "I will sue you for this." She hissed back. "For what? For hiring a girl who I fired because she was incompetent and had tarnished our Friday-" "-Everyone knows I didn't do that!" "Didn't you?" He laughed, "Whatever you say, it's your words against mine, do you think someone would believe an associate? Besides who the fuck would dare represent you? Sue me all you fucking want- your lift is here. Try not to embarrass yourself further." When she went inside the lift, she finally let the tears fall. She had remained confident and carefree in front of Jack Carter, but now she feared for her future. Stop crying! She berated herself. She hated losing control. At a young age she knew the importance of success, and had planned her life meticulously to reach her goals. She thought she had achieved success and could not believe Jack Carter was her downfall. She had underestimated him. Or so she thought. Two weeks later, Jack found a filed coversheet and complaint in his office. It was a case brought against him and Carter & Stone. That was when the nightmare began. He was boisterous and confident in the beginning as he thought the case was a complete joke. It was clear pretty quickly that Morgan & White was serious in representing the girl. He knew this girl had connections. If it wasn't for who she knew, It would've been damn near impossible for their rival firm to take the case on, especially as a pro bono. And he knew exactly who her "connections" were - Ryan Harris and maybe that meddling cunt, Jared Valentine. Jack had kept a low profile afterwards. He had to keep things under control and decided to quickly settle out of court. He paid a hell of a lot amount to settle the case. This pissed the shareholders off and Jack was worried he'd be voted out as managing partner soon. For now he had to prove himself invaluable to the board and those who held the voting right. He had done a lot for the firm, but he wasn't sure if the subsequent pay-out could offset his tainted reputation caused by the lawsuits. It was Ryan Harris meddling that had caused this. It was Hallie's fault too. He knew Harris had a thing for his wife. He was helping the bitch to ultimately spite him - revenge for not having what was his, Jack thought angrily and illogically. A punishment was long overdue for his dear wife. But first, Ryan Harris would pay for fucking with him. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie hadn't laughed for such a long time. Brad had stayed the whole weekend and spent time getting to know his nephew and niece. She could tell from the way Brad was with her children that he desperately yearned for a family of his own. He had happily wolfed down the food she cooked and had paid her many compliments. It wasn't that she needed the attention or for anyone to say how great she was. But it felt nice to be appreciated by her family. Jack and even her own parents never hesitated to pick at her faults. Brad came around for dinner every night since. Hallie wasn't sure how to tell him, but she knew Jack would likely be coming home soon and she needed to let Brad know he couldn't come around any more. He patted his stomach after eating his main of creamy fettuccine with asparagus, crispy pancetta & parmesan main. "You really do spoil me. Hals. These past days with you guys, I think I've definitely gained forty pounds." She chuckled, "No one force fed you 4 servings!" "What can I say? Compliments to the chef!" Hallie smiled, but it was a forced smile. Brad couldn't help but notice that today she seemed to be on edge. The last few days she had been happy and chatty, but something seemed to be bothering her. During dinner she had picked at her food. Normally, a lover of food, Brad knew Hallie would have happily wolfed it down. She kept her head down, looking at the tempting dish beckoning her to eat more, but she found she couldn't stomach the food. She was scared and the words that Brad shouldn't come around were on the tip of her tongue. "Uncle Brad, my mommy is the best cook. Everyone loves to come and eat at our house. Daddy is the only one who doesn't really like mommy's food," Alex interjected. Hallie tried to cut him off, "Alex-" "Alin and Jared love mommy's food, but not as much as Ryan. Ryan is the best. But he doesn't come see us any more. I think it was the pillow fight I had that upset him or," He turned to Hallie, "Mommy, did you and Ryan have an argument? I saw last time you and-" "No we didn't honey. Eat your food it's getting cold." Brad looked at Hallie and saw her uncomfortable expression. Kids were great for telling the truth unintentionally. He knew Alex had hit the nail on the head and Hallie was desperately trying to cover this up. "Hallie is everything okay?" He asked when Alex busied himself with his food. "Yes, everything is fine, why'd you ask?" "We're family, Hallie." He shrugged. "I still know what those little flicker of emotions crossing your face mean. You were a lot happier-" "Brad, I make sure I raise my own children rather than a nanny doing it and I go to school. I have a husband who demands perfection... of course I'm not as happy as before. I was 19 and carefree back then. Now I'm just a little stressed. But don't get me wrong I know how lucky I am. I don't have to also work and I have a husband that loves me. " He gave her a look that said he didn't believe her. Hallie kept talking to explain herself because she wanted to convince him that she was indeed happy. It was after a few minutes did she realise she was going on and on and doing nothing to convince him. In fact all he did was ask a simple question and she had defended herself with all that she's got. Finally, Brad lowered his voice and said, "Is everything okay with you and Jack?" Hallie didn't need this right now. Why did everyone feel it was their right to tell her what to do and constantly remind her of her relationship with Jack? It hurt. Every single time someone uttered those words and rolled their eyes at her stupidity for staying with him. She knew those closest to her wanted what was best for her. But they didn't understand why she did what she had to do. She couldn't tell anyone. She didn't want the judgement or even for anyone to get involved and make the matters worst. Jack would never allow her to leave. "No, we're great. What gives you the idea?" Brad hesitated but finally he said, "I've heard a lot from other people. Hallie, he's being messing around with interns for a long time, I'm sure you may be aware of this, but this time someone sued him over it. Really, he's-" "Stop, please don't say any more! If you can't be civilised and have respect for my husband, your brother, then I don't think you should come anywhere near my family." Hallie said as she pushed back her chair. He held out his hand stopping her, "I'm sorry, Hallie. You're like a sister to me. I want to see you happy," he shrugged helplessly, "and I guess if you say you are, I'm happy for you. If there's anything, please do come and talk to me. I may be a reformed alcoholic, but luckily nothing is damaged as yet. I'm still very clear-headed. God knows how I managed that." "I'm sorry, Brad. But trust me I'm okay." She said and changed to topic swiftly. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* It felt good to win a case. Jack had ripped the prosecutor's case and any so-called new evidence they had produced. Even before his closing statement, it was obvious he had this in the bag. This was a high profile case and many had cast doubt whether Jack could argue it to a win. Jack was good at what he did and liked nothing more than being involved in a difficult case. Challenging cases gave him a rush of adrenaline and thrill that nothing could come close to it. Winning this case was a walk in the park. Winning any case was easy for him. He was ruthless and a rule breaker - witness intimidation, tampering, suppressing evidence and document dumping, anything to win a case. Some knew his unlawful methods, but had little evidence to back up their claims. Those that worked directly for him knew of his ways, but all were fiercely loyal. Part of the reason he knew he had to settle quickly with the intern was because she had known of his unconventional methods in winning a case. Though he knew she had little evidence, it was still trouble he'd rather avoid. After whoring and gambling with his client as a celebration in winning the case, Jack was on the next flight back. When Jack got back home, he heard laughter and food cooking. He wasn't in the mood for Hallie to entertain her friends. He was tired and he wanted nothing more than to fuck his wife before falling asleep. Jack tolerated her friends because some of them had been his casual fuck. The toleration did not extend to Alin. He hated her because she was a stuck up bitch and had always rebuffed his advances. Any women that had the honour to be his newest fuck should be ecstatic to be chosen. In his eyes, Alin was a slut and he didn't know why she could fuck so many people but never him. Come to think of it, Jack thought it wasn't such a bad idea if her friends were indeed here. The more the merrier... if her friends wanted to join in when he fucked his wife, they were more than welcome to. Although he knew Hallie would never do that. She was boring as fuck... although that gave him an idea. Maybe. She didn't have to be willing. When he wanted something, he would get it. Jack had not allowed Hallie to invite anyone he didn't like into his house. Any of the friends that he deemed unattractive, he was actively rude to them and had kicked them out of his house. If he could drive all her friends away and made Hallie even more subservient to him, he would try every trick in the book. However he was very wrong. There in his house, lying on the floor, playing with his children was his dear brother. The second person he hated the most after Ryan Harris. "What the fuck are you doing in my house?!" Jack bellowed. Hallie hear Jack's loud voice and quickly ran out of the kitchen, not caring about the cooking food. Jack was back earlier than she had expected. Hallie had guessed he'd be gone for at least a week for the case and maybe a few more days to whore around. It was always how he was when he was away. He never called to tell her where he was or when he'd come back, so Hallie would always have to guess his whereabouts and clear the scene before he got back. Since he didn't like almost all of her friends, except the ones he was sleeping with. "Jack..." She gasped. He turned and looked at her and Hallie was suddenly very afraid. Jack had been angry with her in the past. She had been the receiving end of his abuse, but never had she seen him look at her like. He was angry, possessed and mad. She could see the fire behind his eyes. Brad got up from the carpet, abandoning his game of soldiers with Alex, "What is wrong with you?" "'I'll ask you again" He said dangerously patient, "Why the fuck are you in my house?" "Jack, I'm sorry," Hallie rushed out before Brad could say anything to anger him further, "I invited your brother for dinner today. I just thought because the kids haven't met him at all and... Jack, I'm sorry." "Hallie, why are you apologising to him? Why are you-" "Brad, please leave." Hallie said to him, pointing towards the door, "If Jack wants you to leave, please respect him in his house. He's your brother!" He snorted in disgust whilst shaking his head, "Hallie..." He started but then stopped himself, and instead turned towards the door to leave. As he left, he saw a smirk on his brother's face. Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 03 Hallie counted the seconds until she heard her front door close. "I'm sorry, Jack." She said again, and heard her pathetic little voice. Jack went to her, but before he could reach her, his son rushed towards his mother, dropping the soldiers in his hands and outstretched his arms, defending her from his father. "You've already made Uncle Brad leave." He said, his voice quivering. "Don't you d-d-dare do anything to mommy-" "Alex, no! Say sorry to your father now!" "NO!" "NOW!" Hallie shouted at him. Her son looked up at her and saw the tears in his mother's eyes. He then turned to his father and whispered the words, "sorry." He said quietly. It was clear from his tone that he didn't mean it. Worried that Jack would say something, Hallie said sternly, "Alex, go to your room. Don't come out until I say so." Throughout the exchange, Jack had said nothing. She was worried that her son's outburst would result in him striking out at him. She remembered clearly when her son was just a toddler, Jack had slapped him hard once when he wouldn't stop crying. Jack was drunk when he came home and had told Hallie he needed to stop her three year old son from crying. When Hallie couldn't, he had slapped him hard across his face to shut him up. That had made the child cry even louder. Hallie had rushed over and shielded her son from any further abuse, hugging him tightly. Jack had told her to move but she wouldn't and so she had suffered the abuse, until he was satisfied and Alex had stopped crying. From then on, Hallie had vowed she would never allow him to hit her children. She would rather kill him than see her children harmed. "He's a mouthy piece of shit isn't he?" He grinned he said to himself as he watched his son climb the stairs, "He'll make a good lawyer." Hallie stared at him open-mouthed she didn't expect the reaction. Just when she thought everything was okay she turned to go back to the kitchen but Jack held her back by grabbing a chunk of her hair and pulling it near the root. This caused Hallie to drop to her knees. The pain was excruciating. He twisted a chunk of her hair and tugged it harder. He leaned down so that he was level with her, his face mere inches away from hers, "Never disobey me." His hand gripping her hair moved even closer to the roots and he pulled harder, until a few strands gave way. "If I see you with alone with any man again, this will not be your only punishment, you hear me?" Hallie nodded as tears started to form in her eyes from both the pain and humiliation. He dropped the tight grip on her hair. Immediately his other hand grabbed her chin, so that she was forced to look up at him. He started squeezing painfully on her jaw. "Say it!" "Y-yes I understand, J-Jack." "I like it when you're like this, babe. I really don't like hurting you." He said but he squeezed even more painfully. "But it's like you get a thrill out of pissing me off." He lowered his voice as if he was telling her a secret. "It's as if you're so stupid that you can't see I don't like that cunt, so you decide to invite him over to my home. I told you I didn't want him to come near you." "I'm s-sorry Jack... please forgive me. Please." He leaned down again, his face coming very close to hers. Hallie flinched, in fear he'd hit her again. Instead he kissed her cheek lightly. He wiped away a tear with the pad of his thumb. "You are so beautiful." He said to her, as his hands went to the button on her shirt. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie pretended to sleep as she heard Jack get dressed. He zipped his trousers and left her on the carpeted floor. She heard the front door close and was relieved that he was going out. She mentally counted to sixty, to ensure he wouldn't come back. Immediately she dressed herself and got up to turn off the cooking food in the kitchen. It was good that she left it on a very low heat when she heard the argument between the brothers. Then, she ran upstairs to her son's room. Alex was in bed and when he saw his mother near the door. He pulled the covers over his head. She could see the tears that stained his face. She went to him and sat at the side of his bed. "Alex-" "Go a-away." He said stuttering his words through the tears, "I know I did n-nothing w-w-wrong this time!" "Honey it's not that." she said trying to ease the covers, but Alex held on tight. "I-I like uncle Brad. He was nice. He was p-playing with me. Until he came home. You always take his side, e-even though he is wrong. Always!" Hallie couldn't say anything, the words choking her, and her tears blinding her rational mind. When Alex realised his mother didn't say any more he eased the cover over his head and saw her desperately trying to stop her tears from falling. His lips quivered as he realised he had hurt his mom. He went to her and laid his head on her lap. "Mommy, I don't hate you, I love you... b-but I hate him. I know he...h-hurts you. But you don't say anything." He paused trying to contain his emotions, "U-Uncle Brad said I was a man today because I won the soldier game against him. He said soldiers fight for their country, their p-p-parents, brother, sister, w-wife and children. But I'm not a man... I can't protect you." She hugged him tightly, "No, honey that's not true. I failed you." He reached up and played with her hair, "Mommy, why do y-you stay with him?" He asked. "Alex, you're too young, you don't understand, I..." She tried to think of an excuse, "I love your daddy." "No you don't" He said in a matter of fact tone. "Love means respect and should be unconditional." Hallie looked down at him in surprise, "where did you learn those words?" "Ryan told me." Hallie paused feeling a strong ache in her heart. "He told me if you love someone you should never hurt them." Of course Ryan would say something like that, Hallie thought. "That man hurts you..." Alex continued, "so why do you stay with him?" "Alex, it's complicated-" "Then explain it to me!" "When you're older you'd understand honey. For now, just understand that I want the best for you." "Mommy, if you want the best for me, I don't want to see him any more. I hate him, I hate this place. I hate seeing him shout. I hate everything whenever he's around!" "Why can't you be with Ryan?" "Alex!" "I heard them talking about you when we went on the Ferris Wheel." He took a deep breath, "Ryan loves you mommy, why can't you be with him?" "Alex, listen to me." Hallie said desperately, "Never say this when your father's around. If you love me, then please do not anger your father." "Have you ever thought about being with him?" "No, I haven't Alex." "But you love him too, I see how happy you are when you are with him." "I'm happy when I see Jared too. I'm happy when I see your teacher, Mr. Gardener. I'm happy when-" "It's different with Ryan." Alex cut in. "You smile differently." It always amazed but always annoyed her slightly how smart her 7 year old could be. She closed her eyes, trying hard to think and concentrate. Is it that obvious that even Alex could see it? She was fearful - maybe Jack already knew...still she couldn't allow her son to ever repeat this. "Alex, Ryan and I are just friends. I am very happy with your daddy-" Before Hallie could continue, Alex already shifted and laid back on the bed. He pulled the covers to cover himself and turned the other way, ignoring Hallie. it was clear that the discussion was over. "Alex-" "I want to sleep. Please t-t-turn the light off when you go o-o-out." Defeated, Hallie left her son's room and made her way to her own room. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* You smile differently... Her son's words were clearly etched in her mind as she tried hard to fall asleep. Was it that obvious? It was clear her children adored Ryan, and it also seemed that the feelings were mutual on Ryan's side. But can she really leave Jack? Can she ignore his threat and find happiness? Stop entertaining these thoughts. You already know the answers to the question... Jack would never allow you to leave him. Slowly the tears fell onto her pillow, soaking the cotton and she hated herself for how weak she was. All you do is cry... that's why Jack knows he can walk all over you. Leaving him, you'll protect your children... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 09/11/08 It's always strange how two people's path cross. Alin and Jared had met at my wedding and they had been inseparable. I like Jared. He was exactly who I had pictured would end up with my picky best friend. But then due to some misunderstandings they had split up ... A WEEK before they were due to marry. There were allegations that Alin had been unfaithful to him. I know of course that is not true. But Alin had confided in me that she had seen Jared with that bitch, Faye. Somehow, my intuition told me that Jared would never do that to Alin. He loved her very much. To me, it seems absolutely ridiculous. I don't know why, but everything seemed too coincidental for my liking. We haven't seen Jared for awhile now. Well by awhile, I mean maybe three years plus now. He is a reclusive man after splitting up with Alin. But there was one thing I had never imagine to happen... Alin and John Haltor getting together. Of course, that creep had been stalking Alin ever since she had worked for him three years ago. I can tell she doesn't like him. Hell, I hate that guy too. he's a piece of shit. But then again, who am I to talk? John Haltor may be a shit and a philanderer, but at least from what I've observed he'd never strike Alin... For me, it's strange how I could ever end up with my husband. Even writing the word 'husband' seems strange and foreign to me. In hindsight, I don't know why I married him. Maybe it's a combination of his fake charm, his worldly presence and my parent's hard-selling and constant nagging. Of course, at the end of the day it was my choice. There's no one to blame. I chose this, therefore I should suffer in silence. I try never to mention Ryan in my diary entry. "Just in case" is my number one excuse. Whenever I recall how we first met I always laugh. I instantly disliked him when I first set my eyes on him. He was this handsome guy sitting at his desk, looking as if he was king and demanding my 'peasant' friend to work fourteen hours everyday. From then on, we argued non-stop over everything. To be honest I was the immature one. Ryan normally avoided an argument with me, but I judged him and thought he was no different to my husband. I provoked him and did my best to piss him off. As I spent more time with him, I finally realised he wasn't this bad guy I had conjured in my mind. Still I was too proud to admit my faults. It wasn't until Tiffany left him did I see his soft side. Ryan was distraught when she left him. Jack would never feel a shred of sadness if I left him. I don't know why but I couldn't bare to see Ryan moon over an undeserving woman. It angered me a lot. Something inside me snap and I gave him shit for his inability to move on. Of course he was not receptive at first and angrily told me to mind my own business. I didn't give up. I continued to push him, until one day he finally opened up to me. That was when I realised what a judgemental bitch I was. We talked for a long time in his office whilst I was waiting for Alin to finish so that we could go for lunch. In the end, I had forgotten all about lunch because I was so engrossed with the conversation, and of course Alin had been busy working. Our relationship started to slowly change for the better. We joked around and started to confide in each other. Friday was the day I used to always drop by to lunch with Alin and because she worked so hard I found myself spending Friday lunch with Ryan instead. Alin was always very engross with her work so I would buy her and Ryan lunch and then spend the time with Ryan in his office. It became our ritual and I found myself strangely happy when Friday came. I don't know when it started, but whenever Ryan spoke about Tiffany, it pissed me off. When Tiffany came back begging for his forgiveness I'd give him a thousand reasons why it was a bad idea. The thought that he might take her back frustrated and angered me greatly. At the time I didn't know why I was so pissed. Sure he was now my friend, but I'd never felt so angry about anything - not even when Alin decided to date that ass hole John. I was pissed at her but not angry. It was hard to describe but it always left a bitter taste in my mouth and my insides twisting at the thought of Ryan giving Tiffany another chance. I never really assessed my position until one day when I snapped at him for being an idiot if he took her back. Naturally he would argue back, which later turned into a full blown argument. Ryan's parting words to me were, 'why do you care so much?' I stormed away from the argument and later recounted every words exchanged between us. It was then I remembered his parting words to me. 'Why do you care so much?' 'Why do you care so much?' Yes, why do I care so much? That was what I repeated to myself, and the more I said it to myself, the more the uncomfortable truth started to appear. I had an ulterior motive. I didn't want him with Tiffany. I didn't want him with any other women. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* After returning to her own room, Hallie showered and got into bed quickly. She laid there but was unable to sleep, she was still sore all over from the assault from Jack... but contemplating the future. Could she leave Jack and be with Ryan? She knew his vindictive nature. If she left him he would make her pay. He'd already told her once... can she really make the same mistake twice? "You smile differently..." Deep down, Hallie knew her son was right. She was happy with Ryan, and it seemed her children were happy with him too. She never wanted to admit it to herself, but she actually loved him. He was great with her kids, and in turn they adored him too. She prayed Jack wouldn't come home for another few weeks. It seemed someone was listening to her prayers, Hallie thought happily. Jack had called her and told her he would not be home for a few weeks. He was flying out to London to assess a situation in the headquarters there. It didn't really surprise Hallie why he would tell her where he'd be. Throughout their marriage he had come and go as he pleased. When she pleased him the way he wanted, he'd be somewhat compliant. The thought that she'd allowed him to be intimate with her sickened her. She was again alone with her 2 children, and the babysitter Jack insisted on hiring. She was a 19 year old coed that looked like she stepped out of a porn scene. She came around Saturday afternoons and stayed till the evening. Sometimes Hallie would take the kids out till late evening but the babysitter would not come with her as instructed by Jack. Instead he said she needed to do 'housekeeping.' Hallie didn't know what hurt and saddened her more - the fact that Jack could allow one of 'mistresses' to look after her children or the fact that he thought she was a complete moron. Since Hallie didn't know Jack was going to be out of town on such short notice, she forgot to tell the babysitter not to come. Now that she was here, it did help a little that she could look after Penny whilst she cooked. "Mommy, where are they? I thought you said they'd be coming at five. Its already three minutes after five!" Hallie's mind chuckled at her sons' impatient and excited tone. It took a few days for him to talk to her in a friendly tone again. It hurt her so much to realise she caused her son such distress. She tried so hard to be a good mother, but ultimately she knew she had failed him. She was the cause of his unhappiness. "Honey' they'll be here! Remember when Alin gets here, no more running up to her and hugging her tightly. She's having a baby and I'm worried you'll knock her over." "Okay. I'm so excited to see Jared and Ryan as well!" Hallie wasn't even sure Ryan would come today. Alin and Jared came back from the wedding yesterday and told Hallie they wanted to come around and show her the wedding photos and also to catch up with her. Hallie had blurted out that they should ask Ryan as well. This prompt a moment's silence on the phone. It was obvious they were thinking, 'why don't you ask him?' But instead of making things awkward, Jared had cheerfully replied that he would ask him. "Is Alin going to have a boy or a girl?" Alex asked as he peeled carrots and handed each peeled one to Hallie. She smiled at her son's eagerness to help her. The slutty babysitter was outside sitting on her ass watching TV. "They want it to be a surprise. So no one knows." "Well, in the beginning I always wanted another brother. But now I want a sister." "Why?" Hallie asked as she cut the carrots. "Because boys will turn like him." He said softly his eyes never leaving the carrot in his hand. " I sometimes worry I may turn like him. I am... his son. She stopped what she was doing and turned to him. He continued to peel the carrots silently. She knew she was a bad mother. She knew she was ultimately the one who could initiate changes and yet she was too scared to change. Coward. There was thousand ways she could change the situation, and yet she chose the only way she knew how to deal with a situation. Avoiding it. "Alex, you don't understand... your father, he is a good man." Her son looked up at her waiting for her to finish her sentence with examples. "He... has done a lot for other people. Like, he wins cases for people and, um... and..." She was saved by a knock on the door. Her son walked off at hearing the door and Hallie breathed a sigh of relief *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie busied her herself with the preparation of the food. Jared had offered to help her out but she ordered him to out to look after the kids and Alin for her. "Hey, do you need any help?" Hallie froze. Earlier when she came out of the kitchen to greet them she was both surprised and ecstatic to see that Ryan had come too. She quickly told them she was busy with the preparation so that she could hide away in the kitchen and not give away the true extent of her emotions. She turned around hesitantly, "Ryan." the moment she said his name she instantly regretted it. her voice was squeaky and ridiculous. Get a hold of yourself Hal's. She cleared her throat and tried again, "Ryan, it's okay. I'm nearly done. I know a football match is on." He ignored her and went straight to the unwashed vegetables. "You're nowhere near done - the more people helping the quicker it gets done." There was no warmth in the voice - it was very matter of fact. "Thanks you." Hallie replied, hurt by his indifferent tone. They worked silently but efficiently. Though they did not exchange more than a few words between them, they worked well together, as if they had done this countless times. Their trance, however, was broken when the slutty babysitter bounced in. Earlier on Hallie had seen the babysitter flirting madly with Ryan. She saw the way she was bending over and pushing her breasts forward and touching his arms. That was also part of the reason why she quickly went back into the kitchen. Nothing is Ever What It Seems Ch. 03 "Hey," the slutty babysitter said loudly in her high pitched voice. Hallie turned around and couldn't help herself feeling slightly jealous of the young girl's physique. She was slim with large breasts. she was wearing denim hot pants with a super tight strappy top. "I have to attend a study group for my exam this Monday." She lied. "So you want to go?" Hallie asked and prayed her answer was a yes. She smirked and rolled her eyes as if that was the dumbest questions she's heard, "Yeah." She replied rudely. "Bye Ryan." She said sweetly and as she walked away Hallie swore she saw her sway her ass ridiculously. They went back to work silently, but after a few minutes Ryan broke the silent. "He's fucking her isn't her?" He said crudely. "What?" Hallie asked in shock. "I said he's fucking her isn't he?" "I don't know what you're talking about." "If you want to live in constant denial then I'll spell it out for you - your husband is fucking that whore isn't he? "I-" "-And here you are still living in that little bubble of yours!" "Maybe I don't care, Ryan. Maybe that's how our fucking relationship is! Why the fuck do you care so much." She hissed back at him. Ryan stopped cutting the vegetables and put down the knife. He turned to her and walked up a closer to her, "You know why, Hallie. I'm not one to break up someone's family. Fuck, I've had that done to me before. But admit to me that you don't feel the same way as I do. Admit it to me, and I swear I'll leave you alone." Hallie closed her eyes, "You asked me the same questions when we were at the Charity Ball." He laughed humourlessly, "I did. But the situation was different, and I knew because it was such a public place you had to say something to get me to leave. What can I say I have a thick skin and maybe I just like being told twice." "I...Ryan, if I don't feel anything for you, nothing would've happened in Beijing. But the truth is I'm married and I can't leave Jack." "Can't or won't?" Hallie was about to answer him when she heard someone coming, "Ryan... come to my room, we can talk in private there. "Hey guys, need any help?" Jared asked cheerfully, complete oblivious to the tension. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Hallie couldn't remember ever being this happy. Everyone ate, drank and talked happily, and before they knew it, it was well past 2am. Therefore, Hallie had invited everyone to stay over. Now Hallie found herself pacing around her room waiting for Ryan. When Jared and Alin said they were going back to their guest room, Ryan had stated that he would also retire in his room, but his gaze let Hallie know that he hadn't forgotten about her earlier invitation. She sighed at her own stupidity. What would this actually achieve, except confusion, disappointment and- She heard a knock on her door.