10 comments/ 32874 views/ 10 favorites Noah's Salvation By: greeneyelove The winter winds raged with near brute force as the icy rains rapidly descended in a torrential like tantrum. Brief but brilliantly vivid bolts illuminated the ominous ebony horizons at increasingly consistent intervals while wildly rumbling thunder clamored about in an irate and fury filled tirade so seemingly forceful it made the earth itself shiver and shake from deep within as the seriously, storm swollen seas persistently pulverized the defenseless shoreline with intent one could only accurately describe as ruthlessly ravenous. Borderline barbaric. Arrogantly and restlessly, nature in all her grand and erratic glory clearly possessed a wrath she felt compelled to vent in the most violent and volatile manner...each white capped wave seemed somehow more ferocious than the last as the season altering squall marched a maliciously mighty track over the ocean. There was an almost surreal aura to the night...an odd air that seemed to suggest that something mystical was at work as the winds and rains ranted and raged, battering the small seaside community mercilessly...intently...the storm displayed no indications that its frighteningly fierce intensity was lessening to any real extent, as tropical storms so often tended to do once that made direct contact with a landmass. Standing alone before her small office window that allowed her a direct view of the beach as well as the docks where commercial and recreational vessels were securely docked for the duration of the storm, Catalina Carson couldn't help but tremble inside as she listened to the waves crashing...peaking...crashing again and again as the squall flexed its muscles with such potency Catalina briefly allowed herself to wonder if she and Noah would have a single vessel left undamaged when the storm finally parted, allowing the dawn to brake. It was a troubling thought, that the business could suffer even a minor loss, though Noah had repeatedly and firmly assured her that wasn't likely to happen, as he had personally secured each of their ten ships himself and for the sake of her peace of mind as well as his, he was out there now, in the heart of the storm, double checking each vessel with all his usual, intensive observation. "Don't worry so much, love." He had paused to wink at her on his way out the door, his golden blond hair already a mess even as he quickly flipped up the hood on his damp rain slicker. "We have weathered storms before and we will weather this one." He was always so confident and sure...so positive...so damn quick to reassure her each time he sensed she was at all worried or concerned. "Storms just make me nervous." She tried to brush it off with a shrug before cautioning him to be careful, which drew another smile that lingered in her mind as he slipped out the door, leaving her alone to ponder her thoughts while she stood in the same office that had once belonged to her father. First founded by Clint Carson, Carson's Commercial Fishing had, over the long years, become an increasingly successful venture that Clint had been pleased to leave to both Catalina and Noah when he had quietly passed away the year before after a nearly two and a half year long battle with cancer. It was upon learning that her father was ill that Catalina had left school in New York to return home to be at his side, to help him with the business...to there to hold his hand when the chemo and the drugs made him so sick that when he looked at her, he called her by her mother's name, often believing that his precious Nina had come back to him at long last; he had believed that Nina was there to help him cross to the other side where they could finally be together again at long last, some twenty years after Nina had died in a car accident during a rare trip to the mainland. Only five at the time her mother died, Catalina held few clear memories, most of what she knew about Nina, she had learned from her father over the years...she had learned that her mother had possessed a passion for life, for learning, for living each and every moment for all it was worth and the numerous photographs that had set around the house as a shrine to Nina had made it clear early on that Catalina would, physically, he identical to her mother in every sense, save her hazel brown eyes that she had inherited from Clint. However, that one feature aside, she was Nina; she was the same petite five three and her coffee colored curls and ivory skin were just as her mother's had been...her smile and high cheekbones and full lips...it had been easily to understand why Clint had often confused her with her mother during his less than lucid state and Catalina had never tried to correct him or remind him that Nina was dead, choosing instead that it would be her gift to him to allow him to believe his beloved Nina lingered close. "It's good that you do that for him." Noah had commented once, near the end, when he had overheard Clint call Catalina Nina as she set beside him. "I think it gives him peace, and I think he needs that now." He had cleared his throat then, an indication that he realized how close to the surface his own emotions actually were as he faced the bitter reality that the man he had thought of as a father would soon pass on. Noah's pain, the fear he felt, had been obvious to Catalina and she had often offered a word of comfort...told him she understood...he had naturally done the same for her, and after Clint passed with both of them sitting at his side, Noah held Catalina and allowed her to sob in his arms while he told her again and again that he was sorry...so sorry...she had seemed like a child when he held close during those first hours after Clint had drawn his final breath and for a time, Noah had hoped, had believed, that he and Catalina could rebuild the close, almost tangible emotional connection they had once shared. Twenty two to the twelve that Catalina had been when he first came to Rapture Island, looking for a few start, Noah Hanson had instantly felt drawn to Catalina when she arrived at the docks one afternoon, fresh from school, filled with smiles meant only for her father, who had grinned the moment he saw her running towards where he stood with Noah. Noah had been under Clint's employment for nearly two weeks, when Catalina came to the docks, and he had already decided that he liked the older man who made it clear that he was, above all else, fair and honesty, though it quickly became evident to Noah that Clint was utterly and completely devoted to his little girl. Clint made the introductions that day and Catalina smiled when she offered a hand to Noah that he shook in the instant before she bombarded him with questions as only an open, affection twelve year old could; where was he from...why had he come to Rapture Island...how old was he...did he like working for her father and did he know that she helped her daddy out during the summer...the questions were fired rapidly and Noah answered them as best as he could, keeping the answers simple, knowing there was no gentle way to explain to such a sweet child what had really prompted him to leave his life in Chicago behind. Granted, Clint knew...Noah had told him from the word go where he was from and what he was leaving behind, or trying to leave behind, at least, and to Noah's relief, Clint had offered him compassion and sympathy rather than the scorn or disgust that Noah had been prepared to face. It wasn't until years later, shortly after she turned sixteen, that Catalina finally learned, for herself, the secretes that Noah kept and hearing the truth made it easy for her to understand the pain that often flared in his eyes...made her understand why he seemed so sad at times, if she came up on him to find him staring out at the ocean, lost in himself and what she came to call his bitter memories. In the end, it was Noah who told her, having first received permission to do so from Clint who had given him the go ahead when Noah explained that he wanted the truth about his past to come to Catalina from him. "I know that, aside from you, no one around here knows about my past, that I know of, at least but I..." He had shaken his head. "If someone does happen to know, I don't want it to come out that way with Catalina, because she deserves to hear it from me." He had a true, deep affection for the girl, she had welcomed him into her life with Clint without hesitation or grudge, having told him once that she was glad he was around to add to the family she had; she was glad he had come to Rapture Island...her innocent acceptance had been something of a healing balm to his heart over the years and Noah found he could only pray that Catalina would still accept him once she heard the truth. He waited until she seemed old enough to comprehend and understand and by the time she was sixteen, it appeared to Clint and Noah that she was wise and mature beyond her years and Noah used that knowledge to give himself some peace as he set with her on the front porch one night, while Clint handled some paper work in the den and it was sitting there that Noah gently told her he had something he needed to discuss with her. As he said the words, she looked at him with a gentle smile that made her eyes warm and bright and trusting. "I don't know how to begin." Noah turned in his chair so he could face her as she set there, clearly curious and concerned when she saw just how worried he appeared to be, "You can tell me anything you need to, Noah." Her voice was soft and reassuring and it made him smile. "I am glad to hear that, because this is something that I think you have a right to know, and I think this is the time to tell you." He paused to draw in a breath that he released slowly, on a heavy sigh. "Have you never noticed that I don't talk about the past a lot?" It seemed as good a place to begin as any and she nodded. "I have noticed that." But it wasn't until recently that she had wondered why. "Well, I don't talk about the past a lot because it upsets me." "I can understand that. I really can. I don't talk about my mother often and I try not to ask too many questions about her because I know it is hard for my dad." "It's like that for me as well. It hurts to talk about the past." "If if hurts you so much, you don't have to talk about it, Noah." She reached gently for his hand and held it. "I love you and I don't want you to be hurt, so don't think you have to sit here and tell me something if it will cause you pain." His eyes told her she meant all she said as he smiled at her, touched by her warmth and understanding. "Thank you for that, but I do want you to know this, baby." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze as he again sighed and forced himself so speak. "When I was just seven years old, my father left both me and my mother because he...well, he said he wanted more from life and I guess he didn't feel he could have that with us." "Noah, I am so sorry." Tears burned her eyes. "I can't imagine how..." She knew what it was like to have a parent ripped away from her, but to have a parent leave of their own free will seemed more than she could fathom. "You don't have to be sorry. It's okay. He wanted to go, so he did, but it left my mom, and me, in kind of a bad place." Thus began the part he hated telling her or anyone, but not for a moment did he entertain changing his mind, "It was really hard for my mother, because I was young and she didn't have a job, or any skills to find a job, so she worked as a waitress for a few months, at a local bar, and while working there, she met a man named Hank Lewis and three weeks after meeting him, she agreed to marry him." Again, he paused, to carefully sort through his thoughts and Catalina sensed that he was in more pain than he wanted her to know as he looked past her, into the night, and his voice, when he spoke, sounded distant and far away. "The man my mom married, he wasn't what you could call a great guy...he was really a bastard to tell you the truth." "He wasn't good to you or your mother?" It was an easy guess and he nodded. "He turned out to be a heavy drinker and when he drank, which was all the time, he got pretty mean." His eyes touched hers briefly, to see pain there...pain she felt for him and the child he had once been. "He started out with my mother, but before long, he took to beating on me when he was pissed and it...there were times that it go pretty bad and more than once my mom or I ended up in the emergency room." There had been broken ribs and arms and a leg...concussions...bruises...cuts...Noah couldn't bring himself to go into the graphic details, as there were certain things he didn't want her to know...certain ugly images he dared not paint for her because he loved her too much. "It went on for a while, because my mom was too afraid to leave him or stand up for me or for herself." "She she just let him..." "She was afraid." "Still, she...someone should have protected you." Her father would have, she knew for a fact that her father would have stepped in to save Noah and his mother, had he been in Noah's life at that time. "Someone should have, but there wasn't anyone, so I...after a time I learned to fend for myself and I did what I could to defend my mother, but more often than not, Hank managed to do whatever he wanted..." He shook his head. "Around the time I turned sixteen things got a lot worse and it seemed like Hank was out of control more often than not and one night, I came home to find him beating my mother worse than he ever had..." The memory called out to him and Catalina allowed the tears that she had battled to finally flow as she set there with his hand in hers. "I guess you could say I snapped." Noah went on. "I just couldn't stand it and I...I went to Hank and I pulled him off my mother and for the first time I found myself fighting back more than I had ever tried to fight back before..." He cleared his gathering emotions from his throat, willing himself not lay it all out for her once and for all, as he really did believe she had a right to know the truth. "What happened, Noah?" Catalina handed him the question after an long moment of silence passed between them. "While I was hitting Hank, he fell and he...I knocked him down and he hit his head on the edge of a coffee table and...Hank died as a result of that." "Oh, Noah." "I was arrested." Before she expressed pity, he wanted her to hear it all. "What? Why where you arrested? I don't understand." "I was arrested because Hank died as a result of my attacking him and despite what I told about how he had treated me and my mother over the years, the police and courts decided to charge me with involuntary manslaughter." "What about your mother?" Her beautiful hazel eyes told him she was trying to wrap her mind around all he had shared and Noah sighed, knowing there was very little chance she would fully comprehend the next part, as she had grown up with a father who adored her and would have traded his life for hers, if need be. "My mother was...its hard to explain and hard to understand, but she was messed up, by all that had happened and I guess she was too ashamed to admit how badly she and I had been battered over the years, so when asked, she didn't support my claim that Hank had been beating her more than the one time I came in on." "God..." Bile boiled in her belly. "Oh, Noah..." She didn't know what to say, or how to say it, she only knew she wanted to take his pain away as they set there in the cool night with his emotional wounds exposed for her to see and Catalina felt something deep in her soul die away when Noah gently went on to explain that he pled his case out, deciding to avoid any length trail, for his sake as much as his mother's and in the end, he was sent to a detention center for juvenile offenders and when he turned eighteen, he was shipped to a regular state run prison for two additional years....the story came out slowly and Catalina cried openly as she took it all in a degree at a time. After his release from prison, Noah shared that he tried to find a life for himself in his hometown, but when it became apparent that his past would always haunt him there, he felt it would be a good idea to make a change. "An old friend told me about your father, and I wrote him a letter and..." He offered a real smile for the first time since the story began. "I think you know the rest, I came here and in an instant, your dad made me feel at home and you..." Gently, he reached out to tuck a coffee colored curl behind her ear and Catalina looked at him, her eyes wide and her heart filled with more emotions than she knew how to fathom. "Noah, I don't know what to say..." "You don't have to say anything, Catalina." "Yes, I do. I...you have been through so much. And I am so sorry." "You never have to be sorry for me." He cupped her hand in his as his eyes found hers and held. "My past is ugly, but what I have now, the life I have here, with you and Clint so very much more than I ever believed I could hope to have and I...I just wanted, needed, you to sit here and hear the rest from me on the off chance someone might say something..." He gave a tired sigh as he looked down at their locked hands and Catalina brushed away her tears even as fresh ones began to form and fall. "I am glad you trust me enough to tell me." "I trust you completely, Catty." It was an old nickname that he had dubbed for her just after they met and hearing it made her smile. "Because I trust you, there is a question I want to ask you and I need you to be completely honest with me." "Of course." "I need to know if my past bothers you or makes you uncomfortable-" "God, no." Catalina cut him off before he could continue and she seemed frantic, and on the verge of more tears. "I love you, Noah. I love you and nothing you have told me could ever change that and I...I am sorry that you were hurt and that your mother didn't stand up for you as she should have, but what happened to you...there is no way I could ever blame you for that or hold it against you." She threw herself forward, into his arms, as she said it with true passion and Noah smiled despite the urge to cry as he held her close to him for a moment, still amazed that he had her and Clint in his life...for the first time he had a family and he felt truly accepted as they set for a white more, talking a little bit about the mother he no longer had any contact with and when they finally went back inside, it seemed to Catalina, and to Noah, that the bond between them was stronger than ever before, making their connection more emotionally intense. Noah was, in more ways than not, her best friend...he was the one person, aside from her father, that she always knew she could count on, when she needed to talk...the one who had the means to make her laugh and smile and it was shortly before she turned seventeen, it dawned on her that she had slowly began to look at Noah in a new way and it intrigued as much as it sincerely frightened her. She couldn't pinpoint the exact moment it happened, or even how, but sudden, she saw more than a mere friend when she looked at Noah; suddenly she looked at him and saw him as a man who was powerfully attractive on numerous levels...he was smart and kind and he had an amazing sense of humor which forever danced in his midnight blue eyes that she began to dream about at night. Nearly a full foot taller than her petite frame, he had a powerful build with wide and defined shoulders...a hard chest and arms bulky with coiled muscles...it amazed her that it had taken her so long to realize how seemingly perfect he was physically with masculine features that were dominated by his beautiful eyes and sensual lips that she suddenly longed to kiss each time she saw him at the docks, lost in his work while his golden blond hair shimmered in the brilliant sunlight. Noah's Salvation It became somewhat difficult, after the blinders were off, to return to a state where she saw Noah as just a friend. He was more. So much more...in him she saw strength and tender, gentle warmth...he knew her and understood her as no one else and Catalina realized that what she felt for him as love; she loved him with the same passion her father so openly and so often displayed in his words whenever he mentioned her mother and try as she might to hide her feelings, Catalina knew she would eventually reached a place where it would become impossible to conceal her true desire, but she willed herself to do just that for nearly a year as she waited and wondered if the time would come when she could approach Noah with all she felt in hopes that he would confess he felt the very same. The chance to express her feelings came just after she graduated high school, about a month before she was set to move to New York, to begin school and Catalina thanked her lucky stars for it when Noah said he would stay at the house with her when a seasonal storm threatened the island while Clint was stuck on the mainland closing a business deal. It wasn't the first time that Noah had stayed with Catalina while Clint was away and as usually, they shared a pizza while sitting in front of the television, playfully fighting one another for control of the remote, until they finally discovered a movie they both agreed was decent to watch and for a long time silence stretched between them while she rested her head against Noah's shoulder. She felt comfortable and safe with him, he put her at ease, but he also made her feel a stirring deep within that she desperately wanted to explore as the movie ended and she set up to say she was going to bed and as she had so many times, she dropped a kiss on his cheek, but instead of moving away, she lingered close until he looked at her. The opening, the moment, was too perfect to resist, or so Catalina told herself in the instant before she touched her lips gently to his, finding them to be just as soft and sensual as she had known they would be...it was surreal and wonderful and she melted into him, one hand on his shoulder, the other cupping his face as she deepened the kiss, feeling excitement rush through her as Noah wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close as his tongue delivered deep into her mouth. It was hot and wild yet tender as he kissed her...explored her...his hand slid down her back to pull her almost onto his lap as her mouth merged with his again and again...it seemed as if they were trying to devour one another as she pressed her breast against his chest, feeling her heart and his thundering almost as one...they felt like one, in her mind as she drew a hand down his chest, feeling the hardness there as heated moisture began to gather between her thighs in a sensation that was unfamiliar but wonderfully exciting. "Catalina..." His breath ragged, his eyes glazed, Noah cupped her face in his hands as he eased her back from him while trying to gather his emotions and thoughts. "Cat, this...there is no way we can do this..." It had already gone too far...he should never have returned the kiss she had began; he should have pushed her away the moment he felt her lips against his and for not doing that, Noah cursed himself as he untangled himself quickly from her small body so he could stand and stalk across the room. His back to her, her raked both hands through his hair, trying to understand how it had happened...how...in an instant the world had seemingly spun out of his control and he cursed himself as he turned to find Catalina still sitting on the sofa, looking beautiful and sweet and innocent with her dark hair falling around her shoulders. "Noah, I...I wanted to..." Her face flushed and she chewed at her lip. "For a long time, I have wanted to kiss you and I am not sorry I did." Nor was she sorry that he had kissed her so thoroughly back, though she was wise enough to sense that Noah was indeed sorry as he shook his head slowly, looking almost pained. "Cat, I don't know what to say." But he knew what he wanted...what he wanted but had no right to have or long for as he did in that moment and unknown to Catalina, he had wanted her for months. "I think you know I love you and I would do anything for you, but this is something...sweetheart, you are special to me..." He lifted his hands in a helpless gesture and Catalina winced, certain she understood what he was trying to say as tears came to her eyes and she slowly forced herself to stand. "I get it." She nodded. "I understand that you don't...you don't think I am pretty." "God, Catalina, that is not what I am trying to say. I think you are beautiful." "Do you?" A sudden hope flared in her eyes and it crushed him. "Of course I think you are beautiful and sweet and wonderful and I adore you so very much more than you will ever really know, but what you and I have is a very special and very wonderful friendship..." "You kissed me back." Catalina did not hesitate to hand him the reminder the moment his voice faltered while they each stood with half a room separating them. "I know. I know I did, sweetheart. But I shouldn't have." "Noah..." "You are seventeen years old." "Almost eighteen." "And I am twenty seven years old and I have one hell of a past behind me while you have your life ahead of you." His eyes sought hers. "There is so much that separates us and, in time, I know you will understand that and you will find someone..." It pained him to think that she could, that she would...she would find a man closer to her age...a man who deserved her as Noah knew he never could and Catalina winced as she took a single step towards him, her heart shattering in her chest. "Your past does not matter to me." "It matters to me." "And as for the age difference..." "That is only part of it and you damn well know it." Noah tried to sound hard and cold as he looked at her. "There is no chance that you and I can ever be more than friends, which I need you to understand here and now, because what happened tonight can not and will not happen again, Catalina." "Noah..." "I mean it, Catty. I am serious. I see a child when I look at you." But she was shaking her head frantically, to deny his words as her tears rained down her cheeks and she pressed a hand against her stomach, as she so often did when she was upset or feeling hurt. "You do not meant that. I know it. I know you felt what I did when we kissed." "It was a mistake for me to kiss you back and I am sorry I did." "No..." She shook her head. "No...you kissed me...you pulled me close to you and I...tell me you don't love me the way I love you, Noah." Her head held high, she did not waver in the least as she handed him the challenge and for half a moment, Noah was saw struck by her bravery and her beauty and more than he wanted his next breath, he wanted to pull her to him and kiss her again...he wanted to devour her...lose himself in her sweet touch and tender innocents, but he knew he had no right and that reality compelled him to stand strong when it would have been easy to be weak. "I love you as a man loves a child he cares for and adores." He spoke to her softly, and slowly and she released a sob. "In my mind, you are a child and you always will be and kissing you was a mistake...I got carried away and I am sorry." Each word ripped at his heart as much as it clearly ripped at hers and Noah felt almost ill when Catalina turned and sprinted from the room, running upstairs to her room and an instant later, he could hear her bedroom door shut with a slam as he returned to the sofa where he sank down, feeling tired and battered and like an ass in every sense. It had never been his intention to hurt Catalina in any manner...it had never been his intention to kiss her or hold her close as he had...but the feel of her lips and her small body so snug and perfect against his had shattered his willpower, leaving him vulnerable to all he had worked so hard not to feel. For months, for nearly a year, he had been in an endless struggle to keep his growing feelings for Catalina at bay; he had done all he could to continue seeing her as a child when it had become increasingly obvious to him that she was a woman, or close to it, and added to that, she was a woman he desperately wanted and all the more frighteningly, needed. He told himself it was insane, she was a child...she was not yet eighteen and she was about to go to college to begin building a life for herself...a he would not be a part of simply because he would never belong in the world he was certain she had the means to find. The speech resounded itself in his mind again and again as he set on the sofa, trying hard not to recall how she felt and tasted and smelled...how it would have been such an easy thing to make love to her...the images of how he wanted to touch her, all he ached to show her, tormented him without mercy and the pain he felt was pain he assured himself he had every right to endure a thousand times over. It was just before dawn when he finally dozed off, still cursing himself, wondering just what Clint would say should he ever learn that Noah was in love with his daughter...it was too much to imagine and as a result, Noah swore to himself that his feelings would never know the light of day. Ever. It was his secrete to keep...his pain to carry and he knew he would carry it for the rest of his life when he awoke the next morning to find Catalina in the kitchen with a cup of coffee and the daily newspaper and to his surprise and relief, she didn't mention what had transpired between them the evening before. She smiled and put on a brave face, but her eyes told him she was hurt and he ached to say something to offer her comfort, but in the end, he decided against it and when Clint came home, all appeared normal to him...the world as far as he knew had not changed, but it had, for Catalina and Noah who were suddenly aware of one another in a new sense that left each feeling unsure at times and for Catalina, it was almost a relief to be able to escape to New York several weeks after the intense kiss and the words that had followed. It was hard, to say goodbye to her father, though she assured him she would see him as often as possible, but her heart really broke when she was faced with Noah...she had to bite back the urge to kiss him once more as he brushed his lips over her cheek, causing her heart to break as he wished her well and she promised to call and write and visit often. "Just take care of yourself." He stood with her on the docks while her father placed all her bags on the boat he had commissioned to take to the mainland. "I will. I want you to do the same." "I will be fine." His eyes reached into hers. "Catty..." There was so much he wanted to say, but he held it back, telling himself again that it was the right thing to do as she turned and boarded the boat with her father...she waved once and Noah felt his heart leave his chest and he knew it was going with her into the world that awaited her, while he stayed on the island, loving her in secrete and knowing it always would be that way. Time and distance didn't have the means to lessen what he felt, Catalina was the very center of his world...she was his light...his true north...she was the one true representation of all that was good and decent and pure and no woman he met had the means to compare in any real sense; no woman possessed the grace and warmth and tenderness that made his Catalina so special and each trip she made home over the years was like a reprieve from the darkness for Noah, who savored seeing her and hearing her voice. Along with her father, he listened to the stories she told about school, about all the different people she met there and the sights she saw...he waited in terror for the day that she would come home to announce that she had met someone she cared dearly for and Noah knew he would put on a brave face and pretend to be happy; he knew he would keep up the façade that he saw her as only a child...he told himself almost daily that all he felt for Catalina could never be put into words and while he did accept that fact, he still found himself oddly relieved each time Clint asked if she was seeing anyone special and Catalina said no. The pattern went on for nearly three years, until Clint became ill and after he went to the doctor, he learned he had cancer...the world seemed to end for Catalina when she heard the news and despite Clint's protest, she immediately left school so she could return home and with Noah's help, she stayed at her father's side through the duration if his illness. By unspoken agreement, Noah handled all the business affairs while Catalina handled the household matters while each lingered as close to Clint as possible as the end began to draw near, after a nearly two year long battle...he seemed a shadow of himself as the vicious illness devoured his body and Catalina did her best to appear confident and strong as when she set with him and Noah just days before Clint passed and he used the last of his dwindling strength to speak to them. "Take care of my baby..." He looked at Noah with tired eyes. "I know...I know that she is stubborn and...I just need you to take care of each other..." He turned to Catalina who cried openly as Clint squeezed her hand. "We will be okay, Daddy." "I know...but I...I think you need each other..." She sensed there was more he wanted to say, but the strength to do it failed him and Catalina felt lost and alone when he slipped off to sleep and only two short days after the conversation, he passed quietly away while she allowed all her tears fall as Nick held her close to him, crying with her, as he stroked her back and told her again and again that he was sorry. It broke his heart to see her in pain...it broke his heart to have to say goodbye to Clint, to a man who had been a father and best friend to him and for a time, he and Catalina leaned on one another, as they planned the funeral and listened to the reading of the will in which Clint left half the business to each of them, as he had already explained he intended to do and several days after Clint died they agreed that Catalina would handle all the office work and paper work while Noah oversaw the more physical, daily aspects. They fell into an easy pattern, one that worked well for them, but the a tension existed between them that neither dared to mention, for fear it would lead to their having to discuss the topic Noah wanted to avoid...forget...the kiss they shared played itself in his mind far more often that Catalina might have guessed and unknown to him, the feelings she had tired to shared with him before she went away to school continued to steadily thrive in her heart. It was a daily struggle, to work with him and not allow the feelings to show...she had to keep Noah at a certain distance at all times...yet it was useless because his image never left her mind...she thought about him night and day and no other man made an impact on her, for her heart was Noah's, even if he didn't want it. Or her. Or what she longed to give him in the life she was certain they could have...the life and family...the dreams she wanted so much to share with him tormented her endlessly and she discovered she could not shake them from her heart or mind as she stood alone in the office, listening to the storm rant and rage while worrying as to why Noah had yet to return. A glance at the clock on the wall told her he had been out for nearly twenty minutes, which certainly allowed him enough time to check over the fleet...a nervous flutter deep in her stomach made her feel suddenly ill as her mind was bombarded with thoughts regarding all the possible dangerous he could encounter in such horribly bitter and brutal weather and just a single flashlight to guide him. "Shit." Turning from the window, she scanned the room, chewing at her lip anxiously, wishing she had insisted he not go...wishing that she had went along with him...wishing that she could take one more chance to express her feelings to him...the feelings she was almost certain he had for her. No longer the naïve, easily rattled seventeen year old she had been the first time she had kissed him, she was now wise enough to know when a man wanted her...she knew that Noah looked at her in a manner that suggested he saw her as far more than a friend, and she pondered that as she walked aimlessly around the office, wondering if the risk was wroth it, yet knowing, deep inside herself that it was as she sighed and nodded to herself. The worst that she could happen, she reasoned, was he could reject her again...break her heart again...send her running...shaking her head she dismissed the fears and sighed just as the door swept open and wind and splattering rain followed Nick into the room as he pushed the door closed, cursing as he did. "It is horrible out there." His words were muffled as he pealed off his raincoat and let it fall to the floor as Catalina picked up a towel from the desk and handed it to him as he looked at her and smiled. "I was starting to worry about you." She watched him dry his face and hair. "Why do I have a feeling there isn't much chance I can make it home tonight?" That suited her fine, she did not have any desire to be alone in the house she had once shared with her father and she felt relieved when Noah nodded. "I think we are both stuck here for the night." "I hope the power doesn't fail." "Yeah." Turning from her, he tossed the towel onto the floor with his raincoat, cursing his luck...to be stuck in a small office with Catalina all night...fate clearly had it out for him, or so he mused as he raked a hand through his damp hair, aware that her eyes followed him. "Sorry." Catalina softly offered the apology. "I...I guess I should have let us leave sooner but I was worried and..." She suddenly began to question her decision to push him as he cast a look at her with curious eyes and she turned and walked to the old back sofa that rested in the corner, feeling tired as she set down. "Don't be sorry. Things needed to be checked over." "I guess." She looked down at her hands. "Catty?" At the old name, she looked up to see him walking towards her to pause beside the sofa as his eyes found hers and held. "What is it?" His voice was gentle. "Come on? I see it in your eyes." He knew her well enough to sense when she was troubled and Catalina smiled as she drank him in...he looked close to perfect as he stood there with his hair damp...his eyes warm...had she not loved him already, she was certain she would have fallen hard in that moment as she shook her head and again released a sigh. "I was just thinking..." "About?" "The past." She looked back at her hands, noting that the room was quite while winds and rains and thunder battered the world beyond the office. "Your dad?" She nodded slowly. "Yeah." And more. But she didn't say as much. "I am sorry." He set down beside her on the couch. "I know it still hurts." "I miss him more each day..." Tears came to her eyes, but she blinked them away. "Me too. A lot. I sometimes think he will walk in the door," Smiling, she brushed at her eyes with her hand. "Same here. I...I guess I will never fully accept that he is gone." "He will always be in your heart." He reached for her hand and Catalina lifted her eyes to his and he smiled gently. "I see a lot of him in you and I can tell you, he would be proud, to see how well you have ran this business..." But she was shaking her head at his words. "We. Me and you. We have done it." "I guess we have." "We make a good team." "I have to agree with that, babe." "And I..." Her voice nearly broke but she wouldn't let the fear guide her. "I happen to think we could really...what I..." She drew in a breath. "Noah, I love you." Noah's Salvation "You know I love..." "No. No, I don't mean as a friend. I love you." Catalina out an emphasis each word, in an effort to make him understand and the frozen expression on his face told her he did as he dropped her hand and stood. "Catalina, we have been over this." "When I was seventeen, which I am not anymore." "But I am still ten years older than you." "So what? Age does not mean a damn thing..." "And in case it as slipped your mind, my past is fucked up." "Your past is just that." In a flash, filled with rage and determination, she was standing, ready to face off with him in a royal battle for the ages. "I killed a man." He raged back at her, defenses up, his eyes blazing. "You defended your mother and I understand that." "Christ, Catalina..." Swearing, he turned from her. "I love you and a flat out refuse to believe that is somehow bad, and I refuse to even consider believing that you don't love me back." "Of course I love you..." "As more than a damn friend." She screamed at him, her hands shaking as tears came to her eyes and flowed freely down her cheeks unchecked. "Please don't do this." He knew he sounded exhausted as he closed his eyes...she was pushing an issue he didn't have the strength to face her on. "I think you and I have something that is special and I..." "I think what we have is special." Catalina cut him off as he turned to face her and she smiled despite the tears. "I look at you and I see my best friend...I see someone I believe in, and love and I...you are the most important thing in all my life and not once has there ever been a man who makes me feel all you make me feel." "Catty..." "I trust you and believe in you and I know you are kind and good and decent and you may hold your past against you, but I don't...I never have and never will..." A half sob escaped her and she shook her head. "Maybe, just maybe, you were right to push me away from you, back when I was seventeen, but I am no longer a teenager or a child and I am certain that you no longer see me that way, Noah." "Don't do this?" "Do what? Have an honest conversation?" "Make me face this..." For a moment, he felt as if he too might cry, his chest felt tight, as if he couldn't get enough air and his heart raged as wildly as the storm...the storm that was so similar to the one that had compelled him to stay with her the night she had kissed him when she was only seventeen years old. "Face what? Tell me what you don't want to face?" "I don't want to face all I feel for you because I know you deserve better." "I see." Yet she didn't. But she wanted to. "Just what do you think I deserve?" "Someone better than me." There was a sad acceptance to his words. "That is the problem...there is no one better than you." "Catty..." "Listen to me now." Seeing a crack in his defenses, knowing in her heart that he did care for her, she rushed to him, catching his hand in hers and holding to it tightly when he made an effort to pull away from her. "You are kind and good and honest...you stand for right and you do all you can to help others and...God, Noah, you have been my rock and my very personal harbor through every storm that has ever touched my life and I love you with all that I am or ever will be." She held nothing back, the time to be honest had come and she realized as much as their eyes locked and held and Catalina sensed his inner struggle as he shook his head, looking conflicted yet so wonderfully dear to her she felt her heart might burst as she lifted the hand she held to her lips so she could kiss it gently. "Catalina..." Her name escaped him on a sigh and his eyes closed briefly...he tried hard to reach within himself for the strength to be rational or reasonable, but it wasn't there, when he looked at her again...looked at her and knew he had to feel her close to him at least once as she lifted a hand to touch his face. "I love you, Noah. I love you so much." "Baby..." The words he longed to say made his chest tight in the instant before he very deliberately tossed reason aside and Catalina gasped in surprised delight when he hauled her into his arms, crushing her breast to his chest as his mouth covered hers in a frantic, desperate kiss that made her blood boil. Exhilarated, frantic, terrified that the moment would end before she had a chance to fully explore it, Catalina tangled her hands in his damp hair as her mouth opened...his seeking tongue plunged inside...wrapped around hers...danced and mated and drew from her all the passion she had longed to give to him from the time she was seventeen years old. There was no awkward touch, no hesitation, if felt as if they had kissed for a lifetime as Noah ran his hands down her back...he cupped her full bottom and when he did, she could feel his hot and hard erection pressing into her belly...pressing and confirming for her that he did indeed want her as badly as she wanted him and the thought made her heart fly even as his lips left hers and she instinctively tilted her head back, allowing him to suckle and kiss her sensitive neck with vigor. The storm, their fears, forgotten, they became lost in one another...lost in the need and the sensations as Noah reached for the hem of her sweater while she lifted her arms and with one quick motion, he completely freed her from the garment...freed her beautiful, lace clad breast that looked beyond flawless as he allowed his eyes to move over each inch while she stood with her hair around her shoulders and her lips swollen. "Christ..." His cock pushed against his pants. "Catty..." "Don't think or question this." She whispered the instruction and Noah realized he did not have the strength or the will to argue as Catalina, on her own accord, shucked her pants, and underwear all at once...and then she reached behind her back to unhook her bra that fell to the floor, leaving her utterly and beautiful and astoundingly bare before him. It was almost too much...she was perfect...ivory skin...cherry red nipples...no trace of hair covered the sweet junction between her thighs and Noah gasped for air, finding little to fill his lungs as he drank her in; drank in the sight he had longed to see but had never believed he would...his Catalina naked and wanting him as a smile pulled at her lips and Noah couldn't fathom actual thoughts as she calmly unbuttoned his damp shirt, baring his chest while their eyes melted their souls into one. She pushed the shirt easily from his hard, golden shoulders...her hands skimmed over his flesh until she reached his chest...she tangled her fingers in the soft, springy hair...his sin felt like hot heaven to her sensitive finger tips and the gasp that escaped him only served to make her feel all the more bold as she pressed an open mouth kiss to his throat. "I want to devour you..." She kissed her way down his chest, taking a moment to flick at each nipple with her tongue before easing to her knees before him...she could see he was at a loss for words as she unfastened his jeans and without hesitation, wanting to please him more than she wanted to see the sun dawn on a new day, she tugged the pants over his lean hips, along with his underpants and her mouth went completely dry with fevered desire when his thick, throbbing cock sprang free before her. He was hard...long...she could hardly believe it...at least nine inches he seemed all the more potently male and Catalina was almost in awe as she lifted gentle hands to cup his heavy balls with something akin to reverence and Noah had to ease back against the desk while she began to massage him. "Catalina..." Heated pleasure rippled through him. "Does that feel good?" Yet she knew she did, as she squeezed him ever so slightly. "Christ, yes it feels so damn good...your hands are so soft..." "And you are so hard and hot and beautiful." At that, she leaned forward and gently, tenderly, she wrapped her lips around the head of his cock...her tongue danced over him and his knees nearly buckled as he cried out and tangled both hands in her hair. The effect she had on him was obvious and it filled her with sensual pride...she felt like a woman in a way she had never thought possible before that moment as she took his thick shaft deeper into her mouth...into the warm, wonderfully wet heat that made Noah cry out her name as she began to suckle him...lick him...suckle again...she moved her mouth up and down his cock, releasing him to blow a warm breath over his damp flesh before sucking him into her throat again and again and again. His taste was wonderful...rich...earthy...male...it was Noah and that alone made it more than perfect as she picked up the pace only to slow down...she gripped his balls and released them...gripped them again and Noah was frantic, needing to come, but not wanting to...not wanting the moment to end as Catalina thoroughly used her mouth to fuck him, to give him the most intimate pleasure a woman had the means to give a man and her thoughts were all focused on him and his needs when suddenly, with a strangled cry, his hands tangled in her curls, he came in her mouth. Hot, thick cum jetted down her throat...it was a sensation she had never known before, but with Noah, it seemed right...it seemed perfect and pure and Noah sensed she savored it as much as he did as her eyes found his again while he gasped for air, dying inside, yet feeling as if he were coming to life all at once as Catalina released him from her mouth so she could place gentle kisses along his shaft. "Catalina..." Sinking to his knees before her, he took her mouth, gripping her shoulders as she leaned into him, basking in the feel of the hair on his chest teasing her nipples...she ran her hands down her back, pressing herself as close as she could while wanting to be closer still as thunder clamored so loudly the very foundation of the office seemed to shake, but Catalina did not care as she cupped Noah's face in her hands and eased back so she could find his eyes with hers and he smiled. "I have wanted to do that for so long." She felt safe sharing her secretes with him. "I...do you have a clue how many times I have masturbated myself while wishing it was you who touched me..." He shook his head in obvious awe. "I have wanted for so long, and I have dreamed about you, but no dream could ever compare to this..." To her...to the real and so beautiful woman alive and burning in his arms as she stroked his face and he moved to kiss her again, holding nothing back...nothing...the walls and defenses were down and all he had any desire to do was feel and give to her all she had given him as he slowly stood, still kissing her as he did, never breaking contact as he turned her, so her bottom was pressed against the desk and with little effort, he lifted her, so she was sitting on the flat surface. "I have done the same..." Breathlessly, she eased back to smile at him. "Have you?" "Oh, yeah...lots of times, Noah." "Would you do it for me?" "For you..." He nodded. "Touch yourself for me, Catty." The words were whisper, they sounded a bit hypnotic and Catalina felt her face flush as he stepped back from her...she felt fire racing in her blood as he guided her hand to her cunt and she gasped at the familiar but suddenly all the more erotic feel of her own fingers. "Noah..." "I want to touch you myself, but now..." His eyes moved over her. "I want so much to watch you sit on your desk and touch yourself, Catalina..." Already, despite the wonderful, and massive orgasm she had aroused, Noah felt himself stirring back to life as Catalina eased back slightly, her long, beautifully sculpted legs spread wise, draped over either side of the desk as her left hand moved to her cunt, to part her moist, pretty pink cunt lips while she used the index finger on her right hand to find her clit. The little pleasure bead was already exposed, peaking out teasingly...Noah stared at it as Catalina moaned, her eyes closed as she began to fondle herself...she rubbed her clit slowly and teasingly...her hips flexed and she pressed her teeth hard into her lip as she slid to fingers into her sopping wet pussy. Watching her, knowing she was touching herself, pleasing herself, in her effort to be pleasing to him nearly made his cock explode...her thumb went to her clit and she tugged at it and rubbed it while thrusting her fingers into herself with increasing speed and pressure...she had her back arched and her breast were full and firm and Noah cursed, unable to stand and watch for a moment more as he caught her wrist in his hand and Catalina lifted heavy eyes to look at him with a passionate gaze. "So perfect...but I think I need a turn." "Noah..." But he shook his head, hushing her gently. "My turn." "To do what?" "Touch you all I like." To prove his point, he moved to cup her breast in his hands and she gasped...her flesh was already sensitive and tender and Noah pinched at her nipples with just enough force to make her whimper his name in the second before his lips closed over the right orb that throbbed. His tongue was wet and tender...teasing...he flicked it rapidly over her nub before his teeth nipped...then he sucked long and hard and deep and Catalina felt electricity flood her cunt until she felt she couldn't stand it for a moment more. "Noah...please...make love to me, Noah." She tangled a hand in his hair but he still had the freedom to move from her right breast to her left with equal determination and skill that more than astounded her. "No rush here, baby girl. No rush. We have all night..." "Noah..." His teeth again sank gently into her nipple and he tugged, drawing a delighted and loud scream from her...the storm outside the office seemed mild and meaningless compared to the perfectly passion generated storm that raged between them as Noah kissed his way down her chest, laving her breast with his tongue until her flesh was damp and on her own, Catalina laid back on the desk, her legs still invitingly spread as Noah explored her belly with his mouth him his fingers clutched almost bitingly into her waist, holding her in place. "You taste so sweet..." He dipped his tongue into her belly button. "You are killing me...Noah..." "Just let yourself go and enjoy this as much as I intended to. Her mouth opened, she intended to call his name out once more, but the blessed ability to speak escaped her the moment his mouth settled between her thighs to cover her dripping cunt...he hands were suddenly there to spread open her pink pussy lips and Catalina cried wildly when he blew a gentle breath right into her sensual chasm. It was a glorious sensation...glorious...she arched her back and Noah smiled against her heated flesh before licking her clit again and again...he sucked the appendage deep into his mouth while two fingers went inside her easily, reaching deep as he flexed the alternatively and at increasingly steady pace. He had her body on edge, Catalina was not certain how much she could handle...she was on fire and flying and Noah took delight in her strangled cry as suddenly, her cunt began to clench his fingers as a shattering orgasm erupted wildly, leaving him to lap at her flowing juices like a cat lapping fresh cream. He stayed with her, his mouth firm against her, until the spasms began to subside ever so slowly while she whimpered and softly said his name with exhausted passion that made him die a little inside as he finally lifted himself to look at her...to look into and fall into her wide, glazed eyes that allowed him to see all she felt for him expressed there, bright and vivid and as he looked at her, it dawned on him that he had yet to say the words she deserved to hear; the words he had felt for so long but had never thought he could express...until now...a smile came to him as he caught her hands in his, holding them to help her steady herself as she set up, looking glorious with damp curls clinging to her face. "Noah..." She placed her hands on his chest, still breathing heavily. "I have wanted you for so long." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I use to tell myself that you did, but you were so stubborn..." He smiled as he eased back to look at her eyes, feeling completely comfortable with her as she set there naked while he stood...the storm still ranted and rain pounded the roof without mercy, but Catalina didn't care or notice and it was the same for Noah as he cupped her face in his hands. "I never believed I was good enough for you." "No one could be better for me than you are, Noah." "I know that no one could ever love you as much as I love you, Catalina." He said the words softly and at the sound of them, tears instantly came to her eyes as she smiled, feeling a new peace expand in her chest. "You love me?" It was more than she dared believe. "Yes. Completely, Catty. I love you. I always have and I always will." "Did you...did you love me back when I kissed you the first time?" "I did, but you were young and I was afraid and I..." He shook his head. "I think I really needed time to come to terms with my past and I am slowly doing that, but I...I can't hold out on loving you another day." It felt as if he had already waited long enough and Catalina more than agreed as she pressed her lips to his, kissing him hard and deep and with abandon unlike she had ever experienced as the reality dawned on her...the reality that Noah loved her just as much as she loved him and finally, at long, long last, he had admitted it. "I love you, Noah. I love you. I love you..." "I love you, Catalina." He grinned, feeling free. "I love you..." He realized he wanted to say the words as often as he could...he wanted to say them everyday for the rest of his life and he knew he would as he kissed her again and she wrapped her legs around the waist, so he could carry her easily across the room to the old leather sofa, where he set down, with her straddling him easily...their flesh molded and melted into one just as their souls did and Noah cupped her face once more, his expression so tender she felt tears come to her eyes as he looked at her and she knew she would love him for life. "Make love to me, Noah." It was all she had ever wanted. "Gladly." Smiling, she wrapped her hand around his cock and easily guided it to her cunt...they shared a gasp as she sank down on him, allowing him to fill her completely as she savored the feeling, unable to believe the actuality was even more incredible than she had repeatedly and vividly imagined it would be. "Noah..." "Catalina..." His hands went to her hips, biting into her flesh as she began to move...she began to ride him slowly...her wet wells felt heavenly and Noah didn't allow his eyes to leave hers as they made love in steady rhythm, perfectly in tuned and knowing they always would be as Catalina told him again that he loved her and Noah basked in the words, knowing in his heart that he had found his own harbor in the storm...he had found his salvation from the past and it was, just as he had always known it would be, his Catalina...his Catty.