0 comments/ 12282 views/ 0 favorites My Journey By: buttercupdh I've anticipated this for so long, since the very first time we met in that chat room. You were different, but I didn't know why at the time. I was immediately attracted to you. As our relationship grew, we would chat for hours, about anything. We'd make each other laugh, cry, think. We challenged each other with our conversation, but never alienated each other. We accepted each other, all of each other, talking about difficult personal issues. There was so much trust, which is odd considering we'd never met; all of our stories could have been fabricated, and neither of us would have known. But we accepted that risk, and then almost dismissed it. I kept it in the back of my mind. Way back, tucked behind the stories I'd heard of bad things happening to Internet friends. We will finally be together. After so many months, we will actually meet. I will feel your arms around me. Touch your skin. Take you in my arms and hold you close. I will be able to hear your heart beating. To smell you…how much we take that sense for granted! But to smell your skin…to take a deep breath and smell your essence! My heart skips a beat when I just think of it! I've shared so much of my intimate life with you. My husband has enjoyed that too, in an egotistical sort of way. I love my husband very much. He is such a special, wonderful person. But I suspect the reason he gets such a charge out of sharing me over the Internet is because it makes him feel better about himself. It's an ego thing. He is an amazing, generous lover, but this ego thing… You've seen my husband make love to me, and I've seen you stroking yourself as you watched us. Did you imagine it was you with me as we did this? As he entered me, I'd glance over at the camera to look at you, as if I were looking right into your eyes. Did you see me doing this? When his mouth was on my pussy, licking me and making me cum as I pulled his head into me, did you see me looking at you? While he was on top of me, cumming inside me, I grasped the sheets below me, and looked right at you. You were with me all those times. And now, we are about to meet. My husband gave me the plane ticket for my birthday. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was the most generous, unbelievably dear thing he's ever done for me. This is how much he loves me. The only string attached to this trip is that, when we are together, we must be online with him. I agreed to this. It's only fair. I need the vacation, after the past few years. It's been difficult, and I've juggled so many things. Too many things. To have a vacation—one week—all to myself (well, and you!), is heavenly. I don't mind solitude—I relish it. It's what I need to rejuvenate my soul. And that's exactly why my husband has done this. That is the kind of person he is. He knows that, even though he cannot empathize my need to be alone, he respects it, and has acted to help me get that time. My eagerness to be with you consumes me as I board the plane. I cannot believe this is happening. Am I dreaming? I must be. But no, I'm not. I find my seat, and it feels real. The seatbelt clasp is cold and hard. The sun streaming through the window onto my face is warm. My heart beats so hard, I fear every passenger can hear it. This is real. I open my book and try to lose myself in it to avoid losing my mind on this cross-country trip. It is torture, knowing that the next person to embrace me will be you, but that I must wait the 3+ hours until I get there. I am reading Walden, and it's no use. It reminds me of you, when you quoted it to me during one of our first chats. I am hopelessly lost in thoughts of you. I close my eyes, and I see your sweet face, and beautiful eyes. This is how I've shared my days with you since our first chat. You are with me so often during my day. I take you everywhere with me, close to my heart. I cherish our friendship more than I could ever express in words. You are so dear to me. The plane takes off, and I feel so free. When the flight attendant comes by, I get a glass of merlot, and sip it slowly. I am no connoisseur of wine, so it tastes good to me. I look forward to sharing wine. and many other things, with you. About an hour after takeoff, I fall asleep, Walden open on my lap. It was worth a try, I suppose. Sleep is good, though, because I don't believe I'll be getting much of it during this week. When I wake up, my book is closed and has been placed on the empty seat beside me, and someone has draped a small blanket over me. When I realize where I am, my heart starts beating wildly again, and I feel energized. I feel my cheeks flush with anxiety and desire for you. I am so nervous to meet you. I know the PC cam doesn't show an accurate representation. I know you haven't seen all my freckles, wrinkles, stretch marks, or flab. And I fear that you will be disappointed when you see me. I grab my purse and head for the bathroom. It's occupied, and so, I have to wait. Waiting, waiting, waiting! This waiting is driving me crazy! But I suppose I'm getting good at it, what with all the practice. After a moment, another passenger steps out of the bathroom, and it's my turn. I freshen up, as they say, brushing my teeth and fixing my hair. After touching up the little bit of makeup I have on, I go back to my seat. The pilot's voice then announces that we will be landing in the next 20 minutes, and I am sick with nerves. Every muscle feels like jelly, and my heart is in my throat. I feel as if I could cry. My face must be beet red. This is not how I pictured myself looking when we first met! I imagined myself sauntering over to you seductively, looking perfectly gorgeous. Now I'll have to crawl to you, my face red and tear stained. I laugh to myself at that thought, and start to feel better. I peer out the window as we begin our descent, and so many things rush through my mind. How could I be doing this? How did this all happen? How did I get to this point? I try not to judge myself, but it's difficult not to. My eyes fill with tears—tears of regret, sadness, nerves, and joy. I mop them up as best as I can, and gather my things together. The sun hides behind a veil of clouds. It's there…I can feel its warmth and see a faint glow, but its full brilliance is dimmed. This allows me to see its outline behind the cloud. I feel reassured. I see the ground coming closer, and a runway in the distance. The landing gear moans in release. We are almost there. I am so close to you! My stomach churns, and my nerves send chills down my spine. I am so nervous. What if I can't find you? What if you've been delayed? Then what do I do? Ugh…my self-doubt could ruin this moment. I won't let it. I resolve to be confident and strong. If you're not there, then I have a week all to myself. That won't be so bad. It'll be good, actually. I need the peace and quiet. With a thud and a screech, the plane lands smoothly, and I am across the country from my family and husband, about to meet the man who has been my lover for months. How can this be? He's never touched my skin, yet he's reached a place deep within my heart. Our souls know each other. And the plane stops. The flight attendants give us permission to release our seatbelts and gather our belongings, but I'm already at the exit. I cannot linger here, hesitant to meet you. I must plunge in, and do it. The door opens, and I walk down the narrow hallway to the gate. Many faces greet me, and I search the crowd for the face I love. I pause, scanning the gate, but do not see you. My heart sinks, as I worry that I've been duped—that this has all been the ridiculous fantasy of a bored housewife, and that no one as wonderful as you would find me desirable. That's when the world stopped turning, and everything stopped. There you are, standing to the side of the crowd. You're leaning your shoulder against the wall, head tilted, just watching me. Your sweet smile tells me everything I've worried about doesn't matter. I run to you, into your arms. We kiss, and I am home. The tears come fast, and I can't stop them. To feel your lips on mine, and your arms pulling me toward you. We are spinning, spinning, spinning. As we kiss, both of us crying now, and oblivious to onlookers who try avert their gaze but can't, we feel a link…a wholeness that up to this point we've never felt. We haven't spoken a word to each other yet, but it's almost as if we don't have to. I take your face in my hands, and kiss the corners of your mouth. And then I turn your head and kiss your left temple, your scar now visible to me. I hold my lips to it, as if I could heal it. It doesn't scare me. You pull me to you, and we hug, holding each other so tightly, I can hear your heartbeat. I don't know how long we stood there. I look up at you, smiling, and breathe "Hi." You look down at me and smile, stroking my cheek, and then tracing my lips with your finger. "Hi," you say. I am so hungry for you, but I don't want to ruin this sweet moment. I sense you feel the same way. This is the moment we will remember forever. You place a finger under my chin and turn my face upward. You look into my eyes, and take my breath away. Then you lean in, and kiss me—a passionate, hard kiss. My lips open to give way to your hungry tongue. Your hands cradle my chin, and then push my hair back to caress my shoulders as you kiss my neck. I have my hands on your back, and I stroke large circles all over. My hands drop to your behind, and rest there. And that's when we realize that we need to leave the airport right away, or something's going to happen right then and there. You grab my hand as whisper gruffly, "Let's go, sweetheart." I am staying at a hotel near your apartment. You bring me there, and carry my bags to my room. You stop at the doorway. "I'll wait for you downstairs. Get yourself settled, and meet me in the lobby. You must be starving, and I've made dinner reservations." I protest, wanting you to join me in my room immediately. But you want to talk with me first, spend time seeing each other and holding hands. "The anticipation," you say, "is almost as fun as the act itself." How valiant of you. I cannot argue with that, and retreat to unpack. "Okay, give me 15 minutes, then," I say, and we kiss. I close the door, and sigh. This is too good to be true. When I turn to look at my room, I cannot believe what I see. The bed, sheets turned down, is covered in red rose petals. A vase of pink roses sits on the nightstand. Another vase, filled with lavender roses, rests on the dresser. The table near the window holds another vase, this one filled with yellow roses. And in the bathroom, a large arrangement of purest white roses. You knew they were my favorite flower. I feel like a princess. I have to call home and let them know I made it here all right. I dial the number, and it rings. It rings again, and again. No one is home! And so, I leave a message, saying that I'm there, I'm okay, everything is wonderful, and that I love them all very much. Although I'm disappointed to not speak with them, it makes it easier for me to get ready for the coming week. I won't be mommy or wife for the next 7 days. I love those roles, and they are very important to me, but I'm grateful to be able to get reacquainted with myself as just me—no labels or roles. Just me. So I unpack and change for dinner. Once I've washed up, put a little makeup on, dabbed a little perfume in all the right places, and dressed, I meet you in the hotel lobby. The look in your eyes as I approach you is one of adoration and amazement. I've always been so puzzled at the effect I have on you. I don't see it, but you insist that I'm incredible. Well, I don't argue with you, of course. Your constant compliments and words of love and encouragement have inspired me these past few months. You make me feel so special, as if I were the most beautiful and desirable woman on Earth. My heart beats harder as I get closer to you, my breasts heaving with each breath. You hold out your hands to me. I take them in my own, and look up at you, smiling. Our lips meet, in a sweet, soft kiss. We linger in that position for moment, enjoying the feeling of our lips touching. You place your hands on my hips, and I can tell you're fighting to keep them from moving elsewhere. Then we hug—a very tight squeeze. You are so wonderful. I think the effect you have on me puzzles you just as much. But I am fascinated with you, and the passion I feel for you is immeasurable. You've made reservations at a little Italian restaurant a few blocks away, so we walk there. We start hand-in-hand, and quickly move to holding each other at the waist. We're touching, finally, and I don't want to let go. Right before we cross the street, you stop to kiss me. My legs weaken as you take my face in your hands and kiss me. Normally, I would have been embarrassed at such a display, but with you, it all makes sense. Your intentions are pure, emanating from love and desire, and not a need to show off. We're the only two people in the world. And as cars swish by, and people navigate around us, I am lost in this kiss. I could kiss you forever. Our lips part, and tongues touch lightly…just a taste. We hug, and you rest your head on top of mine, taking a deep breath. As we cross the street, I ask you what plans you have for after dinner. "I just want to show you around town a little. Is that okay?" you say. "Of course," I say, less than emphatically. I'm enjoying the anticipation, but oh how I want to feel you, to touch every part of you. To wake up next to you in the morning. "Do you have to work tomorrow?" I ask. "I don't have any flights scheduled…just some ground work in the morning. Then I'd like to pick you up, and take you to the zoo. They have a good one here. We can watch the river otters together. How does that sound?" you say. "Sounds wonderful!" I tell you. Then I hesitate, but I have to know. "Will you stay with me tonight?" I ask. You pause, and then turn to look deep into my eyes. "I can't imagine doing anything for the next 7 days other than being with you, my lady," you say, kissing my hand. "Okay, now you're making my ears all hot!" I scold. But inside, I am thrilled. I adore you. We arrive at the restaurant, and you pull the door open for me. The hostess seats us at a table in the corner. The dark burgundy room is lit dimly with candles. I look across the table at you, and I smile. You are so handsome. That slight dimple in your right cheek matches mine. And your sweet smile…it melts me. I feel so comfortable with you, as if I've known you forever. How can this all be? You take my hands in yours and squeeze them, looking directly into my eyes. This takes my breath away again…I feel you can see deep within me, and you know my heart and soul as much as I do, and perhaps more. I gasp at the effect your gaze has on me. I want you then and there, and yet, I am able to resist. All I want to do is look back into your beautiful green eyes, and stare forever. We don't even need to speak. It's all there, everything we need, in just looking at each other, feeling each other's skin. You raise your glass to toast us. "I've loved you from afar for these many months. I am in awe of you, sitting here, in front of me. I feel as if I'm dreaming, but I know I'm not. I feel your sweet, soft skin next to mine, your tender, luscious lips on my own. I know now that my sweetest of dreams has come true." I close my eyes, smiling slightly, but trying to keep back the tears. You touch me in ways I've never been touched, with your words, your looks, your touch. I am elated to be with you, and I feel I could never express just how happy you've made me. I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and raise my glass to yours. "To us, and most of all, to you. You are the sweetest person I've ever known. You are so extraordinary, and I am so very blessed to have met you, loved you, and become your friend. You are so very special to me. Words just don't express how I feel about you. We'll have to depend on my actions for that." And we sip, the dark, silky wine leaving a warmth in its wake. You reach over the table and kiss me, and I can taste the wine on your lips. I will not be able to resist you for much longer. Nor do I want to. As we eat dinner, we talk about everything. I want to know everything about this life you've led. I feel compelled to ask questions that aren't normally asked. And to pursue points that you've closed off. I don't want to bring you additional heartache, but I want to know, to understand you more. You've had such heartache in this life. I feel the tears come again, just thinking about it. It breaks my heart to think of the pain you've endured. I cannot stand it, and so the tears come on strong. You look at me, so concerned, and, placing a hand on my cheek, ask, "What's wrong, sweetheart?" When I tell you, you immediately close that chapter, and shift to humor. That defense mechanism of yours. I smile through the tears. The joy I feel at your attempts to ease my sadness! You are an unbelievable person. We laugh together, and to hear your laughter is priceless to me. Being with you naturally makes me warm and tingly. The wine simply adds to your intoxicating effect on me. I will not be able to control my passion for you much longer. We decide against dessert, and leave to walk about the city a while. It is dark now, and a little chillier. You walk, with your arm around me, to keep me warm. I am so elated, I feel as if I could fly. "For the rest of your stay here, well I don't want to monopolize your time, but if you like, I could take you up in my plane for a flight…" you suggest, your voice trailing off in doubt. It sounds as if you don't think I'd want to do this. How silly of you! "Oh, I would love to fly with you," I tell you, thrilled at the thought of how free it would feel, to soar above this world, just the two of us. You smile down at me and sigh. I sigh back, and we laugh. You show me a few of the sights, and then we turn into a park-like area with benches. You sit down on a bench, and pull me onto your lap. Your arms pull me close to you, and I drape my arms around your neck. We look at each other for a moment. And then we kiss. First the lips, so softly. Then you kiss across my cheek to my ear, nibbling gently. You push my hair away from neck, and place small, wet kisses in a serpentine trail down my neck. I moan softly and pull you closer, just holding you, breathing in your scent. I swear, if we didn't get up and leave right then, I would have pulled you into the bushes and had my way with you right then and there! And so we began our walk back to the hotel. We talked about everything, whatever topic came to mind. It was a constant dialogue. You wanted to know what I thought about things, and we found our opinions to be very similar. We had always suspected as much, but to be together, and exchange all this in person, well, it's far different from chatting and using a PC cam. There's so much more that comes across, for better or worse. I was afraid you wouldn't think me as attractive after seeing me in person. You were afraid of the same thing. But it's almost irrelevant. Oh, I am so attracted to you, the way you look. But it's more than your outside I want. Your mind, heart, and soul are what attracted me to you initially. How lucky I was to see them first. They are far more beautiful than any runway model in this world. And then to see your perfect face, and incredibly sexy body. Well, I am in heaven now. It is more than I could have dreamed. We reach my hotel, and you stop in front of it. You take my hands, and with a serious look, you tell me, "Sweetheart, I want you more than anything right now, but I don't want you to feel pressured into anything. If you want to stay up and talk all night, that's no problem with me. Or if you want me to say good night right here, I will." My Journey I look at you tentatively, in wonder. How could you be so selfless, so giving? You don't want me to feel compromised at all. But I don't. This all makes complete sense to me. I can't explain it, but I know that it's meant to be. "Well," I say, hesitantly, biting my lower lip, "I am nervous about this…" And you look down, in disappointment. "But you have got to be kidding!" I say, pulling him into the lobby. I race toward the elevators, and you follow, trying to beat me to the button. We get there at the same time and once we press the up arrow, we kiss each other passionately, attracting the attention of the hotel's clientele. Some smile at our fun, and others are dismayed at what they consider inappropriate. But we have no idea that they're even there. It's just us. The elevator door opens, and once its passengers leave, we tumble in, still kissing. Other potential passengers wisely decide to wait for the next elevator. The door closes, and you lean up against me, kissing me tenderly. The adoring look in your eyes reassures me that you will be gentle and kind, respecting whatever may come. When we get to my room, my heart is pounding, and my stomach is a little queasy. I am so nervous. My fingers fumble with the key, but I finally get it in the door. You look a little nervous, too. The fragrance of roses greets us as I open the door. The wine I ordered before dinner is open and two large rounded goblets are sitting next to it. I excuse myself to go into the bathroom as you take off your jacket. In the bathroom, I freshen up, and change into a nightgown you've seen only through your PC cam. I fluff up my hair, put on lip gloss, and take a good look in the mirror. I like what I see, and that's got so much to do with you. Your constant words of encouragement and adoration have rubbed off on me. I feel desirable and sexy! I open the door, and see that you've poured the wine. You're holding your glass, and gazing dreamily out the window. I walk over to you and kiss you. You look startled for a moment. Then you smile, and kiss me back. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom, and I use that time to get my portable stereo out of my suitcase, placing Van Morrison disc in, and pressing play. You're in the bathroom for quite a while, and I begin to get nervous. I wonder if you're all right. Now it's my turn to gaze out the window, and the beautiful city below. What a spectacular sight. Lights flicker and blink, and cars zoom here and there. I sip the wine, and it tastes so good. You open the door just as "Sweet Thing" begins. You take my hands, and begin to dance with me, singing in my ear. I look up at you, and the tears flow again. I have found this missing piece, and I cannot believe the relief and joy I feel. We sway slowly, holding each other so tightly. I can hear your heart beating. My emotions overwhelm me, and I cry throughout the song, the ache in my heart very evident. My tears soak your shirt, as I bury my face in your chest. With your one hand around my waist, you release my other hand to gently brush my hair out of my eyes, and wipe a tear away. You bend down and kiss my eyes, cheeks, jaw, chin…wherever the tears travel, so do your lips, as if you could eradicate the reason they were there to begin with. I look up at you in adoration and utter amazement. The intense tenderness and love with which you've always treated me touches me so deeply. The bond we share is so very deep, and we haven't even made love yet. At least not in this lifetime. But I sense that our souls have known each other for so very long. And now we are about to embark on a new part of our lives, one in which we are even more deeply connected, if that could be possible. You walk over to the table and lift our wine glasses. I take mine, and you raise yours in a toast, saying, "To you, my love, you astonish me with your beauty and grace, your loving, gentle heart, and your generous soul. Being with you, I feel as if I've come home." Our glasses clink, and we sip the deep red merlot, its warmth adding to the fire we feel within. I raise my glass, and say to you, "To my Ben, my renaissance man. Your kind words and tender love have inspired me to be a better person—to live up to your image of me. Your gentle sweet spirit has touched me like no other, and I will never be the same, having known you. My life is better with you." And again, we tap our glasses, and sip the fruity, oaky liquid. I lead you to the bed. We stand there, at the edge, for a moment. I look up at you, and the fire in your eyes tempts me. We kiss, and I am pulled into you. We are intertwined, and will never be separated. I unbutton your shirt, kissing your chest as I go. Once unbuttoned, I slowly peel it off your shoulders and back, feeling your warm, soft skin, my hands everywhere. You lift the hair off my neck, and kiss behind my ear, and down, stopping to nuzzle the small of my neck. I writhe in ecstasy as you gently suck this most tender of places on my body. "Oh, Ben!" I moan, as you lower me slowly onto the bed. The cool feeling of rose petals touches my skin. You take my hands and place them above my head, wanting me to relax and savor the love you are about to make to me. I protest, because I so want to touch you, but you whisper softly, right in my ear, "I can't resist you any more. I have to taste you right now." As you move down my body, you push the front of my gown down, releasing my breasts to your hungry mouth. You feast on this flesh, nibbling my nipples, and then suckling gently. I bring my arms down to cradle your head as you suckle my breasts. Again, I writhe, for this is utter bliss to me. You've told me online that you wished you could suck my breasts for hours. Right now, that would be fine with me. I stroke your head as you circle my nipples with your tongue, squeezing and kneading my breasts with your hands. Then you move lower, to my belly, planting tiny wet kisses all over it. And then, you are between my legs. You take a deep breath, and pause before you taste what you've called the "nectar of the gods." You've told me so many times as we've made love online that you'd give anything to taste me. And here we are, at this moment. You stroke the insides of my thighs with a light touch of your fingertips, and spread my legs further apart. I shiver with a chill down my spine. Then you kiss my clit, so lightly that I barely feel your touch. This drives me wild, and I want to take your head and pull it to me. But I resist, wriggling in anticipation. Your tongue slips out from between your lips, and circles my outer lips, all the way down to my ass. You come back up, and plunge your rigid tongue into my pussy. I scream in surprise and pleasure—your tongue reaches way up there! "Ohhh!" I moan as you plunge your tongue in and out, tasting all of my juices. When you finally return to my clit, licking it intently, a wave of orgasm washes over me unlike anything I've ever experienced. As your tongue's pressure on my clit lightens, I start floating back down to Earth. You crawl up to lie beside me, your head resting on my left breast, and you listen to my heartbeat slowing down. Once I can remember my name, I look down at you, asking, "How did you get so good at that?" And then I pause. "Never mind…I don't want to know!" You chuckle at my silliness, and that's when I feel your hardness, and realize that you still have pants on! I turn to kiss you, and start fumbling with your belt buckle. With a little help from you, I get your pants off, and gasp at being so near a spot I've longed for since we met. You are lying on your back, and I crawl up to kiss your lips, letting my breasts brush up against your body as I go. I creep lower, placing little, wet kisses down your chest and stomach. I stop at the bounty that is your penis, eyeing it intently. It swells toward the top, and I long to feel you inside me. My mouth is so close to it, and I am hungry to taste you. You feel my hot, eager breath, and you writhe in anticipation. But I linger just above it, almost touching you. You thrust your hips toward my mouth, and I pounce upon you, grabbing your cock with both hands. With a firm but gentle squeeze of your shaft, my wet, warm lips nuzzle the tip, kissing you softly. My lips part, yielding to my hot, moist tongue. I flick my tongue around the swollen tip of your cock, swirling silky hot circles around and around. I kiss your cock, all down the shaft, gently, barely touching you. I nuzzle your balls, kissing them all over, and then taking them in my hands to caress them as I lick up your shaft to the tip, slurping and savoring the flavor of your flesh. You moan and call my name as I take the tip of your penis in my mouth, sucking softly. Then I take the entire length within--my hot, wet mouth and pulsing tongue feeling heavenly to you. You are bigger than what I'm used to, so to wrap my lips around the base, the tip goes down my throat. I struggle to relax my throat muscles to allow you entry. But I like the feeling of your cock tickling my throat, and I get used to it quickly. I open wide, and let you thrust into my mouth. You grab my hair, and thrust in and out of my mouth as I look up at your face to see the passion in your eyes—the passion you feel for me. I am just as lost in the passion I feel for you. My eyes tear at the range of emotion I feel at this moment. I am overwhelmed with desire. You take my face in your hands, and pull me up on top of you, kissing me tenderly, wiping the tears away. You look so concerned, as if the thought of me feeling heartache could break your heart. I feel so protected and safe with you. We roll over, and you are on top of me. The feel of your body on mine is what I've dreamed of since we first met. We look into each other's eyes—we cannot break the gaze. And you smile at me, that beautiful, crooked smile that I love so much. I reach up to stroke your cheek, and my fingers travel around your lips. You support your body with your hands on either side of me, and use your leg to part my legs. This is what I have waited for…this moment of pure passion and desire. It is as if the universe is making this happen, and we have no control over it. I feel powerless, but so full of joy and wonder. I pull you closer, and we kiss, the softest, most loving kiss either one of us has ever had. I am so ready for you, and as our hips meet, and you enter me, I moan with desire. I whisper your name, and it all seems so right. Yes, this was meant to be. We are still gazing at each other, and we thrust toward each other over and over again. Our sweat mixes together, and we are truly one. With you inside me, each thrust brings me closer to orgasm. I can barely catch my breath. My legs are wrapped around yours, and your powerful hips gyrate toward me. In your glorious eyes, I see myself reflected since time began. I feel as if I've known you forever—will know you forever. I am complete. I arch my back as you push into me, grinding together. Your eyes tell me that your building desire is about to burst. I am biting my lip, but you close your lips over mine, and kiss me deeply. You groan, from deep in your throat, and I feel you cumming inside me. Our juices mix, and I am again ascending into orgasm. I have never felt anything like this. We are sharing this deeply sacred moment—together we climb, up to the heavens, you and I, and then we are floating in orgasmic bliss. Once the afterglow has passed, we realize we're both crying. And then we smile, brushing each other's tears away, because they are tears of intense joy at having realized that we are together at last. At last. My Journey I was 45 the first time I had sex with another guy. It was an event that had been carefully planned and waited for. When the opportunity surfaced, I acted accordingly. A casual observer would not have noticed anything unusual. But I did not fear the casual observer. I feared HIV and my wife finding out. Unlike many previous attempts and quits, this time my lust won out. The opportunity followed years of fantasy exploration with phone sex mistresses and watching porn. It was an investment of time and money and I rationalized the expense as alternative therapy. The long-term result being that I had the prepared mindset once the ultimate opportunity presented itself. Fortunately, I had done my homework and found someone worthy of my first time. We met on a gay cruising site. I used an alias called "hungry to serve my Gay Master" and posted my dick picture along with some bullet points highlighting my interests and talents. It didn't take long to get noticed. Most of the interested parties were submissive and wanted to suck my cock. I never returned their replies. Instead, I refined my profile in hope that one day the right guy would bite. The man I sought finally found my profile and sent me an email. In it, he invited me to look at his profile and then contact him if I was interested. Immediately, I clicked on the link he sent and then my screen filled with his profile. Icons on his profile indicated he was a Gay Top. I smiled outwardly and then I lowered my glance to the photos lining the bottom of the page. He was hot looking and dressed in BDSM garb from head to toe. A black Stetson gave him both the touch of authority and sense of mischief that I needed to see in him. Short blond hair, piercing blue eyes and clean-shaven face made him look totally kissable. An open vest showing off his ripped mid-section and broad shoulders kept my eyes lingering for a few extra moments as I fantasized kissing my way down his chest. I lingered and lusted even longer as I caught sight of the bulging crotch of his shiny black leather pants. The photo was studio quality and it definitely had my attention. The next photo showed his pants open and his cock and balls hanging out. I gasped in amazement at the beauty and enormity of his package. The package was porn quality with veins popping along the shaft and a healthy pinkness to the firm head. Clearly this man's cock had been serviced by tender mouths and butts because unlike my own cock, there was nary a masturbation bruise or patch of redness on it. His profile text was brief and to the point: I am dominant and looking for a slave to train. No experience necessary. Respectful and discrete, drug and disease free, non-smoker, expect same. I sent him a lust-filled reply. Dear Sir. Thank you for your interest in my profile. You are hot and I would love for your cock to be my first ever to suck. I'm so happy to find you exist that I don't know what else to say. It's honest. My name is Bob by the way. His reply came in the form of an instant message. It was only a minute after I sent mine. It stated: Hi Bob. I'm Master Jim. Do you have time to chat? I input 'yes' and immediately opened my jeans and extracted my hard cock. In my haste the tip brushed the metal zipper and I winced. A quick glance showed no cuts and then I returned my focus to the screen while my left hand started to lightly caress my cock. The instant message window remained unanswered for several seconds. The wait seemed an eternity and finally I stated "are you there?" "Yes" he entered. "Sorry. I was just ending another chat. I get a lot of them." "I understand" I typed. "I can wait. I've been waiting a long time. Another unexplained amount of time can pass too I guess." "How long have you fantasized sucking cock?" he asked. "Five years, maybe longer. I'm not sure." "Are you married?" "Yes. I put that on my profile." "I remember. I look at so many. It's hard to recall every detail." The conversation seemed to be going nowhere fast. "Do you care if I have a hard on?" I asked, intentionally trying to bring sex to the forefront of our chat. "I care more about what makes you hard and keeps you hard" he replied. "Wow" I responded quickly. "What does it for you Bob?" "I like your pictures and the thoughts I'm having." "What thoughts Bob?" "Thoughts of kneeling before you with my hands on your feet and feeling your cock go into my throat." "I like those thoughts Bob. Keep them coming." "I want to feel your cock swell in my mouth and flood it with hot cum too." "Are you a cum eater Bob? Do you taste your own?" "Yes I am; I do that sir. I love to taste my cum. I eat lots of fruit so it tastes better." "I'm glad to hear that Bob. I won't accept a slave that refuses my cum." "I'm naturally submissive. It turns me on to please others. If we get far enough that we meet somewhere, you will see it in my eyes." "What part of town do you live in?" he asked. "Just east of the Johnson City Mall" I replied. "I am east of there too. Want to come over now and show me your cock sucking skills?" I felt my heart skip a beat as I read his question over and over. Lust coursed through my veins and I wanted to state "yes" but it was too early. I needed to know him better and stated such into the chat window. "Good. You are a man of caution and reason. I like that and respect that too." "Thank you" I replied. We spent the next hour getting to know one another though I was careful to not reveal too much. I told him I worked but not where, that I managed a staff of people but not what we did and I shared my interests in sports teams. He replied in kind only with more specific detail to reassure me I was chatting with a fellow professional. Other than possessing manners and an interest in power exchange sex, we were opposites in so many ways. He was actively social and dressed formally in public while I tended to be a loaner and blend into the walls of my environment. The differences didn't bother me. In fact, I rather like that and wondered if he might improve upon my demeanor and sense of style. That first chat lasted two hours and in the second half he changed the subject back to sex and more specifically what he would do with me if I were in his house with him. I masturbated and interacted with him briefly until I felt as though I was going to cum. On the verge of each orgasm he wanted me to ask his permission and after I did, he gave it while telling me that in his presence I'll be expected to beg and work for it longer. Just after my third orgasm, my wife's car raced up the driveway and I told him I needed to go clean up so she didn't find me. Then as he said goodbye and find me again, I pushed and held the power off button on my pc. The departure was hasty but I had much to clean up and didn't want to be found out while trying to close all the windows of naked men and gay porn that filled my screen. Over the next several days we engaged in several planned chats. Each time we both shared a little more about ourselves. By the third day, I granted him access to my private photos, letting him see my full face and the ones of me kneeling with a hard on and my mouth open. My heart raced as he stated that he could clearly see the submissive in my eyes and that he wanted to help me make my dreams come true. "I'd like that too" I said. "Would you like to see me on cam and possibly tell me what to do?" "Absolutely" he said. "I've been meaning to ask about that but kept forgetting" he wrote. I quickly invite him and when the screen indicated he was viewing, I waved into my camera. He responded by sharing his phone number and a command to call him. I called him right away. His voice took my lust to a new level and immediately I looked into the camera and begged out loud for his cock. An hour later, I was knocking on his front door. Once inside I dropped to my knees and asked permission to suck him off. When he opened his robe, I gasped. Before me was an erection to die for: thick, long and clean. I was ready to dive in for a taste but waited for his verbal response. When he finally gave it, I parted my lips and dove in. The head felt spongy and it tasted wonderful as I sucked him well into my mouth. Several passes back and forth saw me take in more and more of his cock until finally I managed to take him all the way to the base. On the withdrawal, his cock slid out of my throat with ease and when the tip was just inside my lips I looked upward and licked its underside with the tip of my tongue. "That's good" he said in a cracked voice. I attempted to grab the base of his cock and wrap my fingers behind his balls but he pushed my hand away and told me to just use my mouth. His direction turned me on and at that moment I kissed the tip of his cock and then I began to slowly take him into my throat again. Soon my lips and nose where in his pubes and his cock was throbbing inside my throat. Looking upward again I could barely see him. Yet I knew from the pulses in his cock that he liked the view. Seconds later his hands found the back of my head and then I felt my jaw and throat expand and relax as he began to saw himself in and out of my mouth. I had not predicted this type of response so quickly and I could not have been more pleased with the results. Just a few seconds later I began to feel my own saliva plunge out of my mouth and land on my chin. In 30 seconds, my neck was getting wet as I listened to him grunt and tell me how fun it was to fuck a relaxed slave throat. His words sent shivers through me and I did my best to let him have his way with me. Every twenty to thirty seconds he pulled out enough for me to breathe and then he slammed his rod back into the depths of my throat, pushing onward until he was as deep as he could go. My own cock ached and burned with lust. He wanted to be touched and stroked and I dared not tempt a touch without permission. But courtesy was quickly fading and I didn't know how much longer I could stand not to reach down and rub it hard. "I can't believe this is your first time" he grunted as he continued to face fuck me at breakneck speed. His shaft was using my throat like a well greased ass hole. Each plunge inward churned the heavy saliva inside me and each outbound stroke brought new strands to coat my face and neck. His enjoyment was mine as well and I relished each moment as he thrust himself in and out of my throat. What seemed like only a couple minutes after I arrived he began to announce his orgasm. The first spurts must have shot straight into my stomach because all I felt were the pulses in his shaft. Then he began to withdraw from my throat. Once the head was on my tongue, he flooded my mouth with his hot cum and then I swallowed. "I never cum this quick" he said as he pushed his cock back into my throat and then withdrew it completely. My eyes were closed while he came and I opened them just as slapped my cheek with his meat. "That was so fucking good" he said. I swallowed again, this time making a note to savor the taste in my mouth. "I want more Sir. When will you be able to feed me more?" "That's what I like to hear. You can have more sooner than you think slut." "Mmm, I can't wait." "But next time you must hold the load in your mouth to show me your prize and then wait for my permission to swallow. Okay?" "Oh yes sir. I'm sorry I didn't do that." "It's okay. Now follow me and I'll give you the grand tour." My Journey As A Slut Continues Those of you who read my account of my first taste of gay sex will may remember that I had something of a baptism of fire – tied up, dressed in my girlfriend's sister's underwear in a local field, where I was forced to deepthroat a stranger before swallowing first his cum, then mine and finally some of his piss. Well, that remains my best ever sexual experience, but I wanted my second one to be equally intense. In truth, this wasn't actually my second gay experience – I had sucked off a few guys by now at a local cruisy picnic area – but it was my second organised, proper meet. Again, weeks of email conversations preceded my second meet – I wanted to define the scenario before we met so that I could just arrive, be ordered about like a slut and still get the sex that I so desperately wanted. Finally the day came and I duly drove the 20 or so miles to Richards house. I had never met him, but we had spoken at length on the net and exchanged photographs. He was in his early thirties and muscular and powerful looking and promised that he had a nice cock, although I had asked him not to let me see photographs of it before we met. Richard greeted me at the door with a smile and ushered me through to his living room. As we had discussed, he had laid out a selection of clothes on his sofa. He told me that he was going up to his bedroom and that I should change into the clothes that he had chosen for me and then join him upstairs. The clothes he had chosen for me were his wife's. I had a fetish for women's clothes, particularly underwear, but the essential thing was that they actually belonged to a woman, rather than just being clothes for women. It turned me on on so many levels. I loved women's underwear, especially unwashed undies – the thought that I was wearing, sniffing or wanking into something that's been wrapped around some woman's pussy turned me on; the fact that she was somewhere, going about her normal business, completely unaware that I was abusing her most intimate clothes turned me on even more; the thought that I was enjoying her clothes while pleasuring her boyfriend, husband or brother was almost enough in itself to make me cum. I had built up a modest collection of underwear over the last couple of years – some left in my car after quick fucks, some stolen from ex-girlfriend's underwear drawers or laundry baskets, friends overnight bags if they stayed over at my place and even the occasional pair from a washing line somewhere. Today though I was going to wear Chrissy's, Richard's wife. He had laid out a pair of black lace panties, a suspender belt, stockings, black bra, white blouse, a very short black skirt and a pair of knee high boots. The clothes all went on ok, although the boots were a tight fit, being a size smaller than my size 8s. I checked myself in the mirror before going upstairs to meet Richard. I looked every bit the slut – the skirt only just covered my buttocks! Nervously I climbed the stairs and walked along the landing to Richard's bedroom. Richard was lying on the bed waiting for me. I started to walk over to him, but before I made it to the bed he told me stop. "Get you cock out, slut" he barked. I did as I was told, hitched up the skirt and pulled my panties down to reveal my semi-hard dick. "That's the last time you touch your cock until you leave here" he said "I'm gonna use you and body for my pleasure today and I decide when your little cock gets attention". He walked round behind me and reached round my hips for my cock. He wanked me hard and fast for a few seconds before stopping to cuff my hands behind my back. He then reached around again and continued to furiously toss me off, and as he was doing so I could feel his hard cock pressing in my back. It wasn't long, only a minute or so before my breathing got heavier and I got ready to cum. "I don't want you to make a mess on my carpet" he said as he picked up a whiskey tumbler from his bedside cabinet and held it over the end of my dick. A few seconds later my cum formed a pool in the bottom of the glass. "That's you sorted" he said, unbuckling his belt and trousers "now it's your turn to satisfy me." With my hands still cuffed behind I turned my back to Richard and reached for his cock. As soon as my hand got a grip on his shaft I got a hard slap around the back of my head. "If I wanted a wank, I'd have had one myself! Get on your knees and suck it, bitch" he bellowed. With a stinging ear I sank to my knees and brought my mouth to his dick. I licked his balls and his shaft for a while before opening my mouth and taking in a nice length of thick manhood. Richard had a lovely cock. It was thick, long – easily 8 inches – and cut. He moaned and groaned with pleasure as I licked and sucked him passionately. "I'll make you a deal" he offered "if you can deepthroat my entire length, I'll let you spit out my cum. If you don't take it's entire length in your mouth, I'll force it down and I'll make you swallow every last drop of spunk." It was too good an offer to turn down. Richard and I had discussed my likes and dislikes at length over the previous few weeks and I had told him several times that although I loved sucking and, perversely, enjoyed the degradation of being forced to swallow a load, I absolutely hated the taste of cum. I leant forward, pushing back on my knees burying my face in his groin, desperately trying to get every last millimetre of his dick in my mouth. After a few minutes, and a fair bit of coughing and gagging, I succeded. It was obviously too much for Richard and I felt him start to tense. I pulled back so that just the head was in my mouth and licked and sucked gently as he filled my mouth with hot, salty sperm. And fuck did he fill my mouth. I almost had to swallow just to stop it overflowing! Eventually he stopped cumming and raised the whiskey glass to mouth again. I duly spat out his spunk into the glass – it must have been two or three times more than the load that I had shot in there a few minutes earlier. "Fuck! That was good!" he said, still slightly breathless. "I was gonna make you wait a bit, but after a bj like that I think you deserve to cum again. Besides, it will give me a chance to recover before I fuck that virgin arse of yours." With that he sank to his knees and began to suck me off. It wasn't long before I was ready to cum again and, to my surprise Richard carried on sucking every last drop from me. Richard had told me that he hated the taste of cum too, so I wasn't surprised to see him spit it into the glass with the other two loads. "Right then, time for what you came for slut". Up until now, I had only ever sucked cock. I had never taken one anally. As with the oral that originally got me curious, it was tying my girlfriend tight and abusing her butt while she was helpless that turned me on. That got me round to thinking that I would like to be abused in the same way. Richard uncuffed my hands and instructed me to lie face up on the bed. Once there, he tightly fastened each of my wrists to the rungs on his head board with handcuffs. Next he took a length of rope and tied it around me left knee and pull it back and outwards before tying it the headboard. He did the same to my other knee, leaving me exposed with my knees pulled back and wide apart and my feet in the air. It was very uncomfortable with my legs that widely spread. "Open wide" he said, pushing a pair of panties in my mouth. "My wife wore these all day yesterday after I fucked her in the morning before work. You should be able to taste her cunt and my cum on those." I was getting a bit nervous by now. I had only never done anal before, except occasionally fucking myself with my girlfriend's small vibrator. That was only about 4 inches long and half an inch thick. The cock I was about to experience was twice as long and at least three times as thick. This was gonna hurt! Lying there with my eyes shut, I startled a little as I felt first the ice cold lube on my arse and then Richard's finger roughly coating the inside of my butt. I opened my eyes to find Richards cock in front of my face. He grabbed my hair and pulled my head towards him. I spat out the panties that were gagging me eagerly slobbered all over his cock, knowing that other than the bit of KY he had already applied, my saliva was going to be the only lubricant used. I knew it was crazy, but as I had intended this to be the one and only time I would receive anal, I had agreed to do it bareback. I wanted to feel his skin against mine and, more importantly, wanted to feel his cum shooting inside me. I could feel Richard lining up the tip of his cock with my hole. I took a deep breath and then exhaled, trying to relax as I did so. Richard paused for a moment and then, with one hard thrust, pushed the entire length of his cock into me – all 8 and bit inches of it. I screamed. Fuck, it hurt. My pain obviously turned Richard on even more and pulled out and again pushed I all the way in, before fucking me hard and deep. The pain started to subside a little bit, but it was nowhere near pain-free, or enjoyable, but it was the humiliation and degradation that I had asked for. Here I was, dressed in his wife's sluttiest clothes, being fucked like a cheap whore – it was great. Even when he pulled out of my arse and thrust his cock in my mouth I was in heaven. I didn't know whether to cum or puke – tasting my arse on his dick, but it didn't matter. I felt like a real slag. After what must have been half an hour, Richard untied my knees. It felt so good to be able to move from that horrible position! Again Richard pushed his cock in my face, but this time he was 69ing me. Like a slut a licked and sucked on his cock until he withdrew from my mouth and lowered his ass over my face. Richard knew I didn't rim. I had told him during our email discussions that it something that I wasn't up for. "Rim me now slut or our session ends now – you wont get to cum, you wont get to feel me cum in your arse and I wont let you keep those clothes you're wearing. Get your tongue deep in there and lick my arse now" Reluctantly I started to lick his arse, first circling his ring with my tongue, then licking his arse hole before finally fucking his arse with my tongue. I hated the physical act of licking this guy's arse, by the humiliation and degradation had made my cock rock hard. With my cock now standing to attention, Richard told me that I was now going to fuck him. He quickly changed positions and lowered himself onto my dick. Grabbing my shaft he positioned it's tip at his hole and sunk down onto me. It felt so good to feel his tight ring gripping my rock as he rode me. Needless to say, it wasn't long before I was ready to cum. I told him that I was about to cum, expecting him to climb off and finish me by hand. Instead he just pushed down on me harder and took my load deep in his bowels. After a few moments my cock began to soften and Richard climbed off of me, only to again lower his arse over my mouth. "You know what to do, slut" he said as he lowered his now slightly gaping arse hole onto my tongue. My tongue pushed into his hole, licking and fucking his butt. I could feel his muscles tensing, pushing my semen out. I felt the drip as my cum ran out of hole, down my tongue and into my mouth. I didn't realise how much I had cum – there was plenty of it! I even found myself trying to suck it from his arse. After showing Richard the load of spunk swilling around my mouth I followed his instruction and swallowed. Richard again started to fuck me, but harder and faster than before. Within a couple of minutes his thrusts got deeper and harder and then I felt it – a warm, wet feeling deep within me. He was cumming in my arse. It was such a strange feeling, but so nice. I could almost have cum again myself. "There's just one more thing for you to do before I let you go" he said, still with his dick inside me. "There are 3 loads of spunk in this glass, and I want to watch you swallow them" Whilst this was something I hadn't told him I wanted, I reminded myself that the whole purpose of this experience was to be treated like a slut. And what could be sluttier than being dressed like a whore, tied to a bed, with an arseful of spunk and being forced to drink cum from a glass? I opened my mouth wide and swallowed every drop that Richard poured from the glass. It tasted disgusting, but I loved it. Richard unzipped the boots I was wearing and pulled them from my feet. He then untied my hands, ushered me downstairs, handed my clothes and told me to get out. I wished I had parked closer to his house as I walked back to my car, still dressed in stockings and short skirt, with Richards cum now seeping out of my arse into his wife's panties.....