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More Than Friends Ch. 03

By: CWatson



A note to the observant: Almost all city names are false; they were taken from a variety of fantasy sources. All characters are based on real people, so it is no coincidence that they are the strongest part of the story. Names, and sometimes personality and personal history, have been modified to protect the innocent. The events of this story, however, are complete fiction.

Quote attribution: Colin's description of love is a paraphrase of Orson Scott Card's description from Children Of The Mind (used without permission):

"This emotion I'm feeling now, this is love, right?"

"I don't know. Is it a longing? Is it a giddy stupid happiness just because you're with me?"

"Yes," she said.

"That's influenza," said Miro. "Watch for nausea or diarrhea within a few hours."

Also see Card's Xenocide for the philosophical argument about why we have to believe in free will.



More than Friends: Ch. 03



It was almost noon, Saturday, when Janice found herself standing outside Edward and Yvonne's house. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. By the time it was answered Janice was the very picture of composure, with an easy smile plastered on her face. Quite different from how she'd looked or felt a few days ago when she discovered she may have once stood a chance to be with Edward. Unable to deal with the mess of her emotions, she had left for home the very same evening. 

Janice wasn't disappointed that her father didn't offer to come pick her up at the airport or even his lack of excitement at seeing his only child after more than a year. Over the years she had grown used to his general disinterest in everything and everyone outside of his work, including her. Her mother's death had changed him- the lively man with the easy smile could now only be found in the few photographs she possessed of her parents. 

She met with her father and then went straight next door to her Aunt Martha's place who had been a surrogate mother to her ever since her own mother's sudden demise. 

"Come here and give me a hug child." her aunt cried out, even as she wrapped her arms around her. 

Martha Walker loved Janice and felt more protective about her than she did her own daughter, Yvonne. 

"This is a lovely surprise. But why didn't anyone tell me you were coming?" 

"That's because I didn't tell anyone- just called dad to say I was on my way."

Martha eyed Janice suspiciously. 

"You're not one for surprises, so what gives?"

"Nothing. I just missed home and I have a few days before I start work." 

Janice tried to sound casual but Martha could tell that her niece was most likely upset over some thing. She knew Janice well enough to know that she would just have to let it go till Janice herself was ready to talk about it. 

"We missed you too honey. Come on. I'll fix you some supper and then you can tell me how you've been getting along."

*****

"You've still kept my room?" Janice asked, astonished.

"Of course. Yours and Yvonne's, for whenever you girls wish to visit." replied Martha as she showed Janice to her old room. 

When the girls were in middle school they were given separate bedrooms, which turned out to be unnecessary as Yvonne made it a habit to sneak into Janice's bed at night. She was touched to see that her aunt had preserved her things and her keepsakes as if she still lived there. She was near tears when her aunt put her arms around her and gave her another warm hug to wish her goodnight.

Martha left the bedroom wondering about the cause of her niece's downcast mood. Janice had always seemed rather fragile to her compared to her own daughter, not just because of her puny size but also because she chose not to give voice to her feelings or her needs. Something about the way she would bravely try to deal with everything on her own tugged at Martha's heartstrings. She sensed that Janice was upset so she decided if Janice wouldn't open up to her she would contact Yvonne to find out what was going on.

*****

That night as she lay in bed, Janice thought a great deal about how lucky she was to have someone like Martha in her life. If not for her aunt she wouldn't have known what it felt like to have someone else care about her and think about her needs. She wished she could talk to her about Edward.

But how can I tell her that I'm in love with her daughter's boyfriend? 

*****

On the day she was supposed to return to Philadelphia, she visited her mother's grave with flowers, as always. During her two day stay in her home town, Janice had visited all her favourite hangouts. It struck her that if not for Yvonne she would've had a rather lonely childhood. She remembered all the times her friend fought her bullies for her. All the times Yvonne chose to ditch her plans just to cheer her whenever she was feeling low. She never asked Yvonne to do any of those things; she had never needed to, because like a true friend Yvonne was always there. 

As she bent to place the flowers, she watched her reflection on the smooth surface of the tombstone next to the picture of her mother. For the first time she noticed how similar they looked. And yet, they were completely different people. Her mother had been a spontaneous and spirited woman. She remembered how her father always smiled when she was around. 

She made him happy. Janice thought to herself. Yvonne's like that- fun and exciting. Eddie will be happier with her. 

As much as she felt cheated by fate, she had to admit that Yvonne and Edward were perfect for each other- he had loved Yvonne since he was a teen and she had never loved anyone before him. In that moment her mind was made up.

You need to focus on your work. You need to start dating. You need to be more supportive towards Yvonne. And most of all you need to get over Eddie, because that is what's best for all. 

*****

"Hello" Janice greeted Edward with a bright smile as he showed her in.

"So, how was your impromptu visit home?" he asked as they moved to the living room.

"I can't believe I heard about it from mom!" said Yvonne settling herself on the couch beside Janice.

"It was a spur of the moment kind of thing." Janice said, shrugging her shoulders. "Just felt a little home sick, that's all."

Edward wasn't sure why, but he felt certain Janice was lying to them, however since Yvonne seemed convinced, he held his tongue.

The three friends spend the afternoon pleasantly chatting. After a point Edward realised that the women could use some time to themselves so he left them for a while to run some errands. When he got back he found them just where he'd left them sitting on the couch, engrossed in conversation.

"I'm back!"

"Hi honey," said Yvonne getting up to give him a quick peck on the cheek, "we didn't even hear you leave."

"I grew tired of being the third wheel so I decided to instead make myself useful and pick up dinner and these," he said, dropping the movies in front of them.

"The Notebook and Casablanca! I love these movies." Janice cried out.

"You do? Well they're Yvonne's favourite so I figured you were likely to enjoy them too."

Yvonne and Janice exchanged a quick look. They both knew that of the two of them Janice was the only one who liked those movies. Yvonne preferred action flicks and found Janice's choice in movies to be a bit dull. Since she and Janice had different tastes, they had a long standing deal wherein Janice would watch one action blockbuster with her, for every tearjerker she made her sit through. Over the years she had suffered through The Notebook and Casablanca plenty of times, to the point where she hated both movies now. 

"You're too good to me sweetheart." Yvonne stated, her voice dripping with sweetness. "But I know how dull it would be for you to have to sit through these. We can instead watch-"

"But, it's not just you," he cut her off, "you and Janice, both, enjoy these movies so I'm in the minority here. Besides," he added, waggling his brows, "I wouldn't mind sitting through that Rachel McAdams sex scene." 

"Couldn't we just watch porn if sex scenes are what you want?"

Janice spat out the water she was sipping and burst into a fit of coughs. 

"Relax. I'm only kidding." exclaimed Yvonne rolling her eyes. 

By the time they were done with dinner Yvonne realised there was no way to escape the movies she despised so she plonked herself on the couch and stretched out leaving only enough space for Janice to sit nestled against the armrest. Since there wasn't any room left for Edward he slid down to the floor with his back to the couch.

The movie was more than halfway through when Edward felt a hand on his shoulder. Janice leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "Yves has fallen asleep. Maybe you should take her to bed?"

Edward turned and saw that Yvonne was in fact asleep. "Let her be. If I wake her now she'll be irritated for having her nap disturbed."

"Couldn't you just carry her to bed?"

Edward chuckled, "Jan, I may look pretty fit but considering Yves is almost as tall as me, no way am I going to manage carrying her up a flight of stairs. I usually just leave her till she rouses on her own."

"Okay." 

"Hey, are you comfortable up there? You haven't moved the entire time."

Janice's legs were cramped from sitting on them for so long, but, between Yvonne stretched out next to her and Edward on the floor in front of her there wasn't any room left to move. 

"Why don't you come down here, next to me?" he asked patting the space beside him. Desperate to stretch her legs Janice slid off the couch and to the floor. 

"So I've never got why women like this movie so much." Edward told her. "Yves spoke about it a couple of times in her mails, so naturally, I checked it out... I don't get the fuss. The only thing that stayed with me was the sex scene."

Janice grinned and shook her head. "Most guys I know have a similar response to the movie. Now, I can't speak for most women, just myself."

When she didn't elaborate, he nudged her with his elbow, "Go on, why do you like it?"

"Okay," she said turning to face him, "but first, tell me why you remembered the sex scene? Surely you've seen things more graphic than that."

He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. Maybe, because it was hot?"

"Alright, but what made it so hot? Was it the good looking actors?"

"No. I mean, yes. I mean, it wasn't just that."

"Could it be that you could feel their need, their hunger for each other and the euphoria that came when they finally got to unleash their passion on the person they were in love with?"

Edward chuckled. "I don't know Jan. Is that why you like it?"

"I like how he never gives up on her. When her parents take her away from him, he writes her every day for a whole year. When she gets sick and can no longer remember him or their life together, he chooses to stay with her and reads to her to help her remember. Never gives up- no matter how heart-breaking -" She caught the amused expression on Edward's face. "Don't give me that look. I know these things rarely happen in real life, which is why it feels good to watch the fantasy played out."

"But doesn't this create unrealistic expectations? I mean, I doubt I would've continued to write to Yvonne if she hadn't replied to my first five letters. Only crazy stalkers chase down seemingly uninterested women in real life."

Janice giggled, "Like I said, I know it's unlikely in real life. And," she sighed, "I also know how unrealistic it is to expect that level of devotion, which is why it's a fantasy, Eddie. Don't you have any fantasies?"

Her tone was so earnest that despite his better judgement he found himself being honest as well. "I did once," he said looking towards Yvonne's sleeping form- it was a quick glance which Janice missed. "But reality rarely lives up to the fantasy."

"True, but when I indulge in these fantasies I know that's all they can ever be. I understand that trying to make them real will ruin both the reality and the fantasy."

"So, you just escape for a while before returning to reality?"

"Exactly. Now stop talking and let me return to my fantasy."

They watched the rest of the movie in silence sitting next to each other. When the movie was almost over they heard Yvonne stir. Edward took that as his cue to get her to the bedroom. 

"Hey, wake up. It's time to go up to our bedroom." he whispered. 

She rubbed her eyes and looked around. She noticed Janice on the floor and kissed her goodnight. Edward put his arm around Yvonne and helped her upstairs. He tucked her in and when he was certain that she was fast asleep he returned to the living room.

Janice had shut the movie player and switched on the table lamp so that the room was lit up with a soft peach light. She curled up on the couch and began to flip through a magazine she'd found lying on the coffee table. 

"You can watch the next movie if you like. The sound won't reach upstairs." Edward said as he reached the living room.

"No, I don't think I could handle both those movies back to back- I'd probably end up crying asleep."

"Crying? Why?"

"They're both so moving but their theme though beautiful is a little sad."

"Didn't you say you enjoyed indulging in the fantasy?" he stared at her in confusion.

"Only parts of it play into my fantasy. So, Yves's asleep?"

"Yeah- I thought I'd come down and keep you company."

"I'm fine by myself. You can turn in if you like."

"No, I'm not sleepy yet, but, if you'd like to be by yourself, I'll leave."

She set the magazine aside, "No that's not the case."

"Well then, let's talk some more about your fantasies. I'm very eager to hear about what kind of smut little Janice is into. But first let me make us a drink. What would you like?"

"I'll just have some tea, if it's okay."

A few minutes later Edward returned with two cups of tea. He handed Janice a cup and settled on the other end of the couch. They started off by talking about the movies and then progressed to Janice's work and how anxious she felt about her first day. 

As they jumped from one topic to another, Edward was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Janice. Even more surprising was that she appeared genuinely interested in what he had to say, so when she asked him about work, he found himself honestly telling her about how unhappy he'd been recently.

"Do you still love it?" She watched the perplexed look on his face. "Your work, do you still love it?"

"I guess I do."

"Do you find it boring now?"

"No, it's still interesting."

"So if you love it and it still engages you, where is your drive to succeed?"

"I think I feel like I'm out of my league here. I used to be a big deal in my previous firm, but here there are twenty other guys like me on my floor alone."

"So, you're feeling overwhelmed by the competition?"

"I guess." 

"What can those guys do that you can't?"

"I don't understand."

"How are they better than you?" she explained.

"Who says they're better?" asked Edward beginning to get a little worked up by Janice's line of questioning.

"If they're not, why are you overwhelmed by their presence? Having competition isn't something to worry about. You should worry only when the competition has an edge on you. Now how are you better than your competition?"

"I'm not."

"And maybe that's the problem."

He thought about what she said and replayed his interactions the past few months with his boss. She watched his face light up as if he'd finally connected the dots.

"Damn! How could I have missed it?!" He paused before explaining, "There's been talk that the VP at my branch has not been happy for a while now and is likely to be moving to Process Excellence. Now, I know through the HR grapevine that the company isn't considering any promotions for the next year or hiring any new mid-level positions as a way to manage their costs. So, what can they do? Most likely they'll groom a senior associate who is ahead of the curve to perform the function in an unofficial capacity for a year or so before giving them the official designation."

"Ah!"

"Yeah. No wonder they've been scrutinizing my work so much..." he said, talking more to himself by this point. "... and the meeting with the senior VP- it all makes sense now."

"So are you ahead of the curve?"

"No," Edward smiled and stood up, "not yet." He leaned over and planted a quick kiss on her forehead. "Thank you Jan. Now if you don't mind there are some things I need to take care of before Monday."

"You're welcome. Goodnight, though I suspect you won't be sleeping any time soon." 

"You got that right!" He shouted as he ran out the room only to return a few seconds later. "You're good for the night, right? Don't need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. You go do your thing."

"See you tomorrow."

Janice fell asleep easily that night renewed by the hope that she could still share a real friendship with Edward. She was resolved to never think of the possibility of a romance between them; she was simply happy that he wouldn't just end up being Yvonne's boyfriend to her. 

*****

Yvonne woke up earlier than usual and saw Edward, oddly, still asleep. They rarely got to spend Sunday mornings together because she would, more often than not, be working. Mornings like these were a luxury, usually spend on making love. She couldn't remember the last time they'd done that. She noticed his laptop sitting open beside him. It was clear that he fell asleep while working on something, so she tiptoed out of the bedroom, choosing not to wake him. 

She was headed to the guest bedroom but changed her course to follow the aroma of coffee and was welcomed by the sight of a freshly showered and dressed Janice, motioning her to join her for breakfast at the table.

"Good morning!" Janice smiled and poured some coffee. 

"I don't remember you being such a morning person." Yvonne said while taking the cup offered to her.

"I'm not. My body still thinks it's in France."

"Another week and you'll be waking the same time as me."

"Good lord, no! I can't afford to get sacked."

"Eddie's still sleeping so I thought the two of us could go out. There's a lovely antiques market not far from here that draws hoards of visitors during the week, but is surprisingly quiet on Sundays. Wanna go?"

"Sure. But tell me something," Janice placed her hands on Yvonne's shoulders and shook her lightly, "Who are you and what have you done to my friend?"

"Hey, I'm all sophisticated now-"

"- I watched you eat peanut butter with your fingers... from the jar."

"Pffft. We were kids then."

"No, the last time I was here."

"Damn! You saw that?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Okay, so maybe I also go there because I tend to run into clients at these places."

"So you're going to be networking?'

"Nope. We'll check out the aged crap and hopefully I run into someone who could stand to benefit from my services in the near future. Now, eat your breakfast while I go get dressed missy."

Janice did a mock salute, "Aye aye captain."

*****

Janice and Yvonne spent their Sunday morning at the antiques market. Janice looked at the antiques while Yvonne kept running into people she recognized. By lunch time both women were happy with the way their morning had progressed. After a late lunch they decided to return to their respective homes. 

Yvonne dropped Janice off before returning home herself. When she got there, she noticed Edward was busy with work- he had his laptop open and looked like he was in the midst of multiple conversations on his phone. He saw her come in and smiled and waved at her by way of greeting. She waved back to him and went into the bathroom to change.

Later at dinner, Edward excitedly began to explain to Yvonne about what he'd been up to while she was out. 

"So, every time he's talked to me about clients, I've been thinking that he's probably just trying to get me to do his work, but I realised that he's been testing me."

"Mmmhmm."

"I've been on the phone making discrete calls to a few contacts from work and it looks like my theory is pretty accurate. So, I'm thinking I'll start with the analysts-"

"Eddie, you know I don't really understand most of what you do, right?"

"Right." said Edward biting back the disappointment. "So, what did you do today?"

Yvonne went on to describe her day.

"... We didn't even realise the time till I heard Jan's stomach growling. We ended up grabbing a late lunch at The Oyster Bar and then I left Janice home."

"I'm surprised you let her go- I thought you would've brought her back home."

"I would've but she's starting work tomorrow and the silly thing is nervous- like they would've offered her the position if they didn't already love her."




More than Friends: Ch. 03



"Maybe it's the fear of not living up to expectations?"

"You can only do what you can do. How is being afraid going to help?"

"Yves, not all of us are as self-confident as you. Some of us doubt and question our abilities."

"Silly thing to waste your time on." Yvonne said in a dismissive tone.

It was this very attitude that had always struck Edward as so attractive about Yvonne and yet at other times felt like an exasperating quality as it made it difficult for her to empathise with others. 

"I was hoping to thank Janice. Talking to her made me realise what was happening at work." Edward said, attempting to change the tone of their discussion.

"Words mean nothing." Yvonne stood up and carried her dishes to the sink. Edward followed closely behind. "Do something for her instead."

"Hmmm. Any ideas?"

"You could get her something... Maybe some pretty plants for her terrace garden? I think I managed to kill all the flowering ones while I was there. But make sure they're low maintenance because she's only marginally better than me at not killing plants." 

"Yeah, that does sound good. Thanks Yves. Now, is it your turn or mine with the dishes?"

"Mine. But you could thank me for the idea by agreeing to do them yourself."

"Good try, but I'll just say thanks like this," Edward held her waist and kissed her. 

"Okay, I'll finish up here and you finish upstairs and get ready to thank me properly."

Edward smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek before leaving to wrap up his self-assigned work project.

*****

Within a few days Edward felt like he was getting back on track at work. He was no longer merely going through the motions; he had a plan now and seemed more confident about himself because of it. The change in his attitude was visible to his co-workers. He once again became known as the man to watch out for.

One day after a particularly good review meeting Edward felt it was high time he thanked Janice. He had finished earlier than usual so he called Yvonne to say that he was going to act on her suggestion.

"Are you picking them up now?"

"No. I'm just picking them out- these guys don't deliver so I'm not sure if I should pick them up now."

"You could drop by her apartment on your way home."

"But won't she be at work?"

"Yeah, but you have a key to the place."

"From when you lived there? Sure. She hasn't changed the lock?!!"

"And you're still carrying that key around. Newsflash- people don't change things unless circumstances force them to."

"You got me there. Okay, so will I see you for dinner?"

"Yeah. In fact, stick around till Janice gets there and bring her home with you."

"Okay."

*****

Edward picked up a pot of purple shamrock and one of echeveria before heading to Janice's apartment. He carried each of the large pots individually and set them near the door as he took out the keys and unlocked the door. He headed in and immediately noticed the changes Janice had made to the place. It looked like she'd gotten rid of a lot of the stuff that usually cluttered the space and moved around the few pieces of furniture left, giving the place a brighter and more spacious look. 

He moved towards the window in the hallway that looked out into the terrace. The terrace was small in size and most of the plants dead like he'd expected. There was still light outside and a wind played with the overhead sails making them cast long shadows. The sparse furniture looked like it needed a fresh coat of paint. But these details didn't catch Edward's attention who stood entranced by the sight of the woman sprawled over the bench outside. 

The woman's legs were spread partially- one foot on the coffee table beside the bench the other pressed to the floor. The buttons on her blouse were undone and the blouse itself was slightly parted to reveal a hint of black lace and the swell of her breasts. Her skirt was raised but her legs faced away from him so he couldn't directly see, but, from the movement of her hand he could tell she was fingering herself. 

Even though it was cool that time of the day her skin looked flushed with beads of sweat on her brow. Her mouth opened- soft moans escaping to make it all the way to his ears. Completely mesmerized, he wished her blouse would slip open a little further so he could catch a glimpse of her nipples; he wondered what they might look like. He watched her back lift in an arch and her eyes roll back as if she were in the midst of an orgasm. 

All at once, Edward realised how hard he was and that he'd been stroking his cock through his pants. He was embarrassed to have witnessed his friend in such an intimate act and knew he needed to get out of there before she noticed him. Forgetting about the plants and Yvonne's instruction to invite Janice home for dinner he took off.

*****

On one hand, Edward was miserable- he knew how wrong it was to think of Janice in this way. At the same time he couldn't stop thinking about the erotic vision he'd witnessed. He considered Janice to be attractive but had never thought of her as anything but a baby sister of sorts. He couldn't reconcile his image of Janice with what he had seen and try as he might he couldn't stop replaying the scene in his head. He drove around for a while before getting home eventually. 

"Hi, how long before you get home?" Edward snapped at Yvonne on the phone.

"I'm on my way. Didn't you go by Jan's? I just called to ask her what she'd like for dinner and she said you hadn't dropped by."

"No, something came up .I came home instead. Are we still doing dinner?"

"Yes, I asked her to come by. I picked up something from Peking Duck, hope that's okay with you."

"Yeah, it's fine. Just hurry home."

Yvonne wondered what had happened she'd never heard such urgency in Edward's voice before. 

*****

Edward heard the car pull into the driveway. He waited restlessly as Yvonne opened the door. She barely made it in before he pounced on her. He needed to be with her to clear his mind of lustful thoughts of another woman. 

Both were busy with work all the time and their sex life had suffered. Initially things were very exciting between them but it fizzled out quickly enough. He couldn't even remember the last time they had sex. But that didn't bother Edward because he got to be with the woman he loved. He believed he just needed to spend some time with her reaffirming that love. 

Yvonne was taken aback by the passion with which Edward kissed her. He seemed like a possessed man attacking her mouth and grabbing at her dress. He had always been a good and considerate lover but never like this. She liked it. 

She grabbed at Edward's pants and released his hard cock. He hissed as he felt her hand squeeze it roughly. He grabbed her hand and raised her up on the side table near the entrance. Pushing her dress up, he pulled her panties aside and without further ado pushed into her- his aching cock was in desperate need of relief. 

Yvonne had her eyes closed like she always did during sex. He thrust harder into her and took her hand and made her play with her clit while he thrust forcefully into her. He felt her climax and closed his eyes, giving in to the sensation of being inside the women he loved but instead he saw the image of another woman- her face hidden from view by her dark hair. He imagined running his fingers through her hair and pushing it back, to watch her face as she moaned under him. He groaned loudly, coming harder than he could remember in a really long time.

"Wow! That was something else." Yvonne said as Edward drew out of her and readjusted his clothing.

Edward on the other hand felt wretched. He felt like his body had betrayed him into cheating on the woman he loved and he hadn't meant for any of it to happen. 

"Yeah. I'm so sorry." 

"Why? It was amazing."

"It was?" he looked at her confused.

"Yeah. You've never been so..." she struggled for the right word, "passionate."

"Are you saying that you don't like how I make love to you otherwise?" He knew he had no right to be irritated with her after what he just did, but, he couldn't help but feel bitter.

"No, it's nice. I'm just saying this was better."

Edward wondered how Yvonne would react if she knew he had just fucked her while thinking of the woman who was as good as a sister to her. Before he could say anything the doorbell rang.

"That'll be Jan. You go answer the door and I'll clean myself off."

Edward moved slowly towards the door. He had hoped to avoid Janice for some time, at least till he could move past what he saw in her apartment. 

"Hey! Come on in." he said trying to sound as normal as possible. He was glad that she was no longer wearing the same clothes as earlier. 

Janice nodded in acknowledgement to his greeting and invite. "I thought Yvonne would be here already."

"She is. She's just upstairs cleaning herself before dinner."

Yvonne came down and joined them. They opened a bottle of wine and sat down for dinner. Their conversation mostly revolved around Janice's new place of work. 

"Oh, something really weird happened today." Janice said abruptly. "As I was leaving my apartment I noticed these two large plants blocking my doorway."

"What?!" exclaimed Yvonne.

"Yeah. I have no idea where they came from."

"That would be me." Edward said sheepishly. "I knew I wouldn't get the chance to drop them off myself so I had the shop deliver them. There would've been a note." he lied.

"Oh," said Janice, "I didn't check. It was just so bizarre to find these large pots at the entrance."

"It's for your garden. I thought they looked pretty and they're easy to maintain."

"How thoughtful of you; thank you."

"It was Yvonne's idea."

"Well in that case," Janice raised her glass of wine, "thank you, to both of you."

"So, tell me more about work and none of the dull stuff you bored us with so far." Yvonne gave her a lascivious wink so Janice would catch the drift of her question.

"There's nothing to tell."

"No cute guys? Come on, I bet your boss's hot." Yvonne watched Janice blush and knew she'd struck gold. "Aww. So, how cute is he?"

"He's not cute at all."

"But he's hot?"

Janice kept silent but when she saw that Yvonne had no intention of letting up, she finally spoke. 

"Everyone seems to think so."

"What do you think?"

"He's my boss. I don't think of him like that." Janice looked up at Edward as she spoke. She didn't owe him any explanation but felt the need to do so anyway. She noticed Edward was acting oddly since she entered- he was avoiding eye contact with her and appeared distracted.

"How are things going at work Eddie?" she asked worried that perhaps his altered behaviour had something to do with work.

"Much better now." He forced himself to smile. "In fact that's what the plants were for- my way of saying thank you."

She reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "You're most welcome. I'm just happy I could help."

Edward watched Janice's little hand offering comfort to him which only made him think worse about himself for what had happened. He made up something about work and excused himself from the table.

"Is everything ok?" Janice asked Yvonne who didn't seem to find anything odd about Edward's behaviour.

"Oh yeah. Things are fantastic." Yvonne said with a glazed look to her eyes. "You would not believe what happened just before you got here."

"Spare me the details, please."

"How will I ever corrupt you if I leave out the details?"

Janice stuck her fingers in her ears and started humming loudly.

"Okay, I won't share if you agree to meet us for brunch this Sunday."

Janice eyed her suspiciously. "What are you up to woman?"

"Me?" Yvonne feigned hurt, "Nothing."

"Nothing good, I bet."

"Just say you'll come, unless of course you're planning to seduce your hottie boss."

"Okay, I'll see you Sunday. I should get going now. Some of us have to get up earlier for work than others."

"I'll call you a cab."

Janice helped Yvonne clear up as she waited for the cab to arrive. When she heard the car honk both women headed to the door.

"Jan," Yvonne called out as Janice was getting inside the cab, "on Sunday, make sure you wear something sexy." 

Janice sighed as she realised that Yvonne was going to try and set her up. 

*****

Edward and Yvonne were the first to arrive at La Maison on Sunday, shortly followed by Janice who disregarding Yvonne's request had worn a conservative dress. The loose fit paired with the flower accents on its neck and waistlines, lend an air of innocence. To Edward she appeared transformed into his childhood playmate, in no way resembling the seductive woman haunting his thoughts. He greeted her warmly. 

"Hey Jan. How have you been?"

"Good. Are we ready to be seated?"

"We're just waiting for another member to this party." answered Yvonne.

"We are?" asked Edward confused; it was obvious that he was not in on Yvonne's plan.

"Yes, and here he is." said Yvonne as she turned to greet Dara. "You were almost late."

"I would never keep a beautiful woman waiting." He replied as he greeted Yvonne with an air kiss. "Hey Ed," he shook hands with Edward before turning to Janice, "and hey, old friend of Ed's."

Janice tilted her head and nodded by way of greeting. As they were being seated at the table Dara jumped behind her to pull out her chair. She nodded once more, this time to express her gratitude.

"Am I to get the silent treatment?" Dara asked Janice as he sat in the chair beside her. "You could at least talk to me considering you gave me a fake number after agreeing to go out with me."

Janice tried hard not to smile as she watched Dara make puppy dog eyes at her.

"Not still hung up on that are you?" 

"Would you believe me if I said I was?"

"No."

"Ouch."

"Truth hurts, huh?"

"No. The truth sets you free. It's your brusque manner that hurts."

"You don't like plain speak?"

"I do. I just don't like you denying me every time."

"What have I denied you," she said lowering her voice and arching a brow, "that you cannot obtain for yourself?"

Without skipping a beat in their banter Dara replied, "The pleasure of your company for one."

"By whatever means, you do have that now." Janice shrugged her shoulders and turned to face Yvonne, who sat across from her.

"You mustn't give up easily on this one," Yvonne told Dara in a conspiratorial tone, "she likesto resist."

"For good reason." Janice promptly cut in.

"Which is?" asked Yvonne.

"Why would I resist if I liked something?"

"Are you saying that you won't resist if you like it?" asked Dara suggestively. 

"That would be the logical inference of my statement wouldn't it?"

"Yes, but is it true?"

Janice had to admit to herself that Dara was easy on the eyes and if he was friends with Yvonne and Edward it had to count for something. She needed a distraction and he was offering himself as one.

"I guess we'll have to find out." She smiled mysteriously. 

Edward was not happy. He started off being annoyed with Yvonne for going behind his back to set Janice up despite Dara's reputation as a philanderer. He wondered why Janice didn't find Yvonne's constant meddling in her affairs annoying. As he watched Janice enjoy Dara's company he grew annoyed with her for failing to see through Dara's charm.

By the end of brunch, Janice noticed that Edward appeared sullen and wasn't really talking to anyone. The few times she tried to talk to him, he came back with monosyllabic responses. She didn't give it much thought as Dara was doing a pretty good job of holding her attention. It was clear he was a hound dog but he was fun and made her laugh. So when he offered to drop her home, she didn't refuse. 

*****

As they drove home Yvonne was very pleased with herself over how well things had turned out.

"I think it went well. Jan must've liked him or she wouldn't have agreed to let him take her home."

"I guess." replied Edward listlessly. 

"I think he'll be good for her."

"You're kidding, right?"

"I'm serious."

"How many times have I told you what a womanizer that guy is?"

"She needs someone like that. Trust me on this."

"No, trust me on this. I know the guy- he'll use her and toss her aside when he's done."

"I don't think so."

"And why is that?"

"Because, he's going to fall madly in love with her. I'll see to that."

"She's a grown woman, Yvonne, let her be."

Yvonne shook her head but stayed silent. Edward understood that this was her way of telling him that she would do as she saw fit. They drove the rest of the way home in silence.

*****

Dara was standing at Janice's doorstep hoping she would invite him in. He had never met a woman before that threw him off his game like she did; she refused to fall for any of his lines but she didn't tell him to get lost either. He paid close attention to every word she spoke as well as her body language but she was still a mystery. Her body screamed sex but her face exuded innocence. He couldn't tell if she was inexperienced or a total tease. 

"Thank you." Janice spoke softly. She considered inviting him in but she didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"The pleasure was mine." He lingered on her doorstep, when she didn't move away he leaned in closer to her and stared at her mouth so she knew what he wanted. 

"Bye Dara." she said, smiling.

"You're just gonna leave me hanging like that?"

"Yep. Just like that." 

"You are a cruel woman." he groaned.

"Why, thank you."

"Can I at least get your real number this time?" 

"Didn't you get it from Yvonne already?"

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly, "but I'd rather get it from you."

"Since you were honest enough to admit it, consider it given." 

Dara left Janice's apartment looking forward to meeting her again soon; he always enjoyed a good challenge.

*****

At work on Monday after their meeting with their analysts Dara asked Edward if he could have a word with him. 

"Ed, can you tell me something about Janice?"

"Like what?"

"Her likes, dislikes... I can't seem to get a read on her at all. Whatever I say, she doesn't seem impressed."

"I don't see how I could help."

"Well you're her friend, aren't you?"

"That was a long time ago, you know. We're just getting to know each other now."

"I don't know, she seems pretty relaxed and comfortable around you- like she trusts you."

"She does?"

"Yeah. I could ask Yvonne, but I wanted more of a man's take on the subject."

"I know she likes The Notebook."

"Which chick doesn't?"

"I'm not being really helpful, am I?"

"No, you're not, but thanks anyway."

Edward wondered why he felt relieved knowing that Dara hadn't made any progress with Janice. 

It's because she deserves to be with someone who will take care of her and treat her right. 

*****

Dear Readers,

Hope you're enjoying the way this story is coming along. Please vote and if possible leave a comment. 

Subdued_Passion



More Than Friends Ch. 03



They kissed, almost feverish, as he began to move within her, rocking his hips up and down, his cock sliding back and forth within her. She felt him opening her up, spreading her pussy walls with his marvellous hardness, and wished for an inarticulate moment that he would withdraw more, so that she could feel him open her up even more. But she could feel the shaft of his cock against her clit at every movement, feel the intense tickling of his pubic hair against her clit too, and knew that, if he had the endurance she needed, it would probably work out.

"Oh Colin," she breathed. "Touch my clit. Make me come."

"You do it," he said, just as short-breathed as she. "I'm not sure I can reach properly from here."

She did, snaking her hand between their bodies to rub frantically against her clit. She recognized that her hand was in the way of his thrusts, and felt a moment of purest frustration; but it died as her pleasure mounted, under his ministrations and hers. His lips shifted on hers; their tongues twined around each other, seeking each other, loving each other. His chest pressed against her nipples; every thrust sent sympathetic shocks of pleasure from everywhere at once.

She was startled to realize how close she was. His labored breathing said that he was nearing the end of his fuse, but she had other matters on her hands, hers was almost, almost depleted, almost...

Then she was over the edge, she was shuddering and groaning and calling his name, and he thrust as deeply inside her as he could, feeling the marvellous strength of her pussy as she contracted around him, squeezing him, milking him, as the tremors and shocks ran through her body and she clung to him, her palms flat on his back, her ankles locked around his knees, wanting him in as deeply as he could, as the trembles thundered and diminished and finally died.

In that moment of calm, he kissed her nose.

"Oh my God, Colin," she said, "you did it! You actually made me come!"

"Well, I had done that before," he began.

"But not with you inside me! That's the first time anyone's ever managed that!" Her voice danced joyously off the walls. "Oh, I could kiss you!" And then, realizing she could kiss him, she did just that, pressing herself to him in wild abandon.


"Well, now, hold on," he said, "It's not that big of a deal--"

"It is too," she said, radiant. She beamed up at him. "Do you have any idea how few people would actually care?"

"Well," he said defensively, "I'm not one of those people."

"I know," she said, "and that's why I love you." Shifting her hips against his, she realized there was a distinct lack in the vicinity of her pussy. Her eyes narrowed. "Did you come?"

"Uhm, well, no," he said. "Though it was a close thing. That's okay, though, it was cool watching you come."

"Good little boys deserve their reward," she said primly. And, suiting words to actions, she used her muscles to squeeze his cock with her pussy.

His eyes bugged wide. "My God. Heather--"

"You like," she asked, beaming at him.

"A couple more of those, and--"

But he didn't have a chance to finish the sentence, because she gave him those couple more squeezes. On the second, his eyes closed and he gave a moan of purest longing. On the third, he shoved himself into her as far as he could go, and she felt the first burst of his cum against her cervix. She arched up to him, taking him all in--and giving him one more squeeze for good measure--and kissed him as his cum emptied into her, as he gave her all he had.

"Oh, God, Heather," he panted. "You-- You've always got something up your sleeve..."

"You know you love it," she said, playfully sultry.

"Well-- Well yeah," he said, "but at this rate-- I'm gonna have a heart attack."

"Death by coitus isn't the worst way I could think of to go," she said primly.

"No, but... Then I wouldn't have the chance to fuck you afterwards."

"Hrm." She pursed her lips. "That's true."

They were silent for a moment as he gathered himself after his shocking climax. Then he started to pull out of her.

"Oh, no you don't," she said, "you're staying in there."

"Fine," he said. "Then let's roll over so that you're on top, so that at least you have something nice to lie on." And they did.

This time it was Heather who began to disengage, and Colin who stopped her.

"But I'll get heavy," she said.

"I don't care," he said, obstinate. "I want you there."

And suddenly her playful, controlling mood was gone, and she was the shining-eyed lover again, forever surprised by the depths of his love for her.

He kissed her. "And you can stay, and be safe, and not have to be worried."

She nuzzled his nose. "I love you, Colin."

His smile lit his face. "I love you, Heather." Then he yawned.

"Planning on taking a nap," she asked.

"Aren't you," he replied.

She thought about it. She thought she had gotten enough sleep already, but a couple more hours sounded okay. And clearly he wanted her here, in his arms, asleep beside him. And the mere fact that he wanted it was enough to decide the issue.

Maybe I won't sleep, she thought. Maybe I'll just stay awake, and watch him as he sleeps, and kiss him as he dreams. And when he gets hard again... Oh, the good times we'll have then.

But she did sleep, safe in his arms, and the sun continued to climb in the sky without the benefit of their company.



More Than Friends Ch. 04



A note to the observant: Almost all city names are false; they were taken from a variety of fantasy sources. All characters are based on real people, so it is no coincidence that they are the strongest part of the story. Names, and sometimes personality and personal history, have been modified to protect the innocent. The events of this story, however, are complete fiction.

When I woke up, it was just past ten. I could tell because some time over the past two hours, I had slipped off Colin's chest as I slept, and my head had turned to the left, which gave me a view of not only the digital clock near his bed, but the right side of his chest. Idly I massaged his pectorals. A little scrawny. Maybe he ought to work out. He says his father, an architect and former carpenter, has some work lined up for him over the summer, building track houses in Keld. Maybe that will give him some upper-body definition.

In about twelve hours, Colin Watson has turned my world upside down. Some of the changes have been welcome. Some, on the other hand, have been, well, a little harder to get used to. I mean, I like it when my men have some muscle. That's just something I appreciate in men. And the kind of boy I normally go out with are, you know, the sports guys, the athletic types... The jocks, in other words. The ones that value appearances. So they have muscles, because their reputations depend on having them. And it's nice to curl up with my head on their chest and feel the planes of their muscles shifting, to know their strength.

But sometimes I think that they are boys, in every sense of the word, and that Colin is the only person I've dated who's actually a man.

Because out of everyone I've curled up with, my head on their chest, he's the only one who didn't give me that look--sort of confused, sort of put out, like Why are you doing this? And he's the only one who put his arm around me and drew me in closer. The others... Didn't get it.

I've lived my life on my appearances. I know that. The simple fact is, I look good, and even though looks are an accident, they shape your life. Nature's accidents gave me blonde hair and blue eyes, that staple of American prepubescent fantasy; Nature's accidents gave me good skin and good health and a body that eventually went soft and curvy and swelled in all the right places; and Nature's accidents gave everybody else eyes that follow me wherever I go. Every friend's parent I've met has called me beautiful (and believe me, that gets embarrasing eventually) and almost every one of my girl friends has confessed to me (privately) that they're envious of my looks. It's just part of my life. And looks give you power, too. You know all the porn stories circulating about hot chicks who seduce their way to a passing grade--a look here, a sniffle there, a flash of the titties, that sort of thing. I could do that. I'm used to the power of my body.

I think the first time I learned about that power was second grade. I had more or less forgotten about this until Colin told me about it--he hadn't remembered either, his mother told him about it. Mrs. Watson. But once she reminded him, he remembered; and once he reminded me, I remembered. It was at this birthday party that one of our second-grade classmates held. I don't remember who, but he invited just about everybody in our class to come and have birthday cake and open presents and swim in his pool. Colin loved it--he swims like a fish, always has--but I wasn't so inclined, because back then I didn't know how to swim. No one had ever taught me, what with my father being off in the Army and my mother working all the time and my sister being younger than I am and the only other authority figure being my grandma, who was about eighty and died by cigarettes when I was twelve. I remember being really frustrated, because everyone (including Colin) was having a great time, and I wasn't. Not only wasn't, couldn't. Water scared me. I didn't know how to swim.

Well, the birthday boy's mother decked me out in all these colorful floaters, and tried to teach me to swim. Or at least to be comfortable in the water. I think Colin tried to help, but Mrs. Birthday-Boy wasn't having any, and I think he wandered away again. (Colin was young and easily distractable back then. I don't hold it against him.) But it just wasn't something I could get used to, and I ended up spending most of the party on the couch, watching TV.

Finally, in frustration, Mrs. Birthday-Boy declared, "Oh, don't worry, Heather, you may not like water, but at least you still have your looks." And Mrs. Watson, who was helping out at the party, overheard, and was sad to hear it. And Colin was very sad to tell me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've always known I could count on my looks to get me somewhere. I was told it from a young age, by a variety of people, and later, around the time I grew my tits and ass, I discovered they were right.

But I think it went too far. People would look at me, even my boyfriends would look at me, and think, Well, she looks perfect, she must be perfect, and none of them ever thought that looks can be deceiving. That the girl with the golden hair didn't necessarily have everything figured out. And that there were nights when everything looked dark and I thought I didn't have a chance in Hell of making my life into what I wanted it to be.

And on these bad nights I would curl up next to my Boy of the Month and cling to him with my head on his chest, and he would give me that look--sort of confused, sort of put out, why are you doing this--and I'd realize that he didn't really understand.

Colin never treated me that way. Not through our long years of friendship, and not now, with his arm around my shoulders, holding me close to him. He's known me on good days, when I'm the kind of woman I want to be; he's known me on the bad days, when I'm spiraling off into oblivion and haven't any idea how to get back on track. Hell, I had bad years, back when I was really into popular music and fashion and cheerleaders and stuff, when I tried to replace my identity with popularity. He knows both sides, and unlike others, he has never assumed that I didn't have a bad side. I think people do that sometimes. I don't know why. What could be more stupid? We're all human, we all have good and bad days. But at the same time, I kind of understand, because we all must look up to someone. There must be someone we think has got it all figured out.

I think Colin has it figured out. This is not to say that he doesn't have bad days. He does. But he doesn't just take the surface appearance at face value. He looks closer. And he isn't put off when he finds out that the reality is different than the surface. I think he understands that we're all trying to be different than what we are now, and that most of us aren't done trying yet. And he's okay with that.

Those other boys I dated, on the other hand... Ugh, my God. They didn't want to hear about it when I was unhappy. They didn't want to talk about problems. This is why I'm so glad I'm out of that whole popularity crowd thing now, because it's a crowd that thrives on denial.

And that's really the thing that makes Colin and his friends different, and that makes Adam and his friends different. They don't hold with denial. One of Colin's common sayings is, "The world isn't what you want it to be, the world is what it is," and he lives by that. I don't think he's lied to Adam or me once in the past five years. And when we tell him something he doesn't want to hear but needs to hear, he doesn't complain, he just works with it. He's solid. I love him for that.

So I guess I can stand it if he doesn't have well-developed chest muscles. Because he's the only man I know who will let me cry on them. And which is more important--a friend who loves you because of the accidents Nature gave you, or a friend who loves you for who you really are?

I felt Colin's arm move from around my shoulders. It moved up to my head and stroked over my hair. I looked up and saw his eyes open, regarding me intently.

"Good morning," I said cheerfully.

His face broke into a smile. "Hi."

I massaged his chest, and his fingers continued to run through my hair.

"What's on your mind," he asked.

"I was just thinking," I said, "about how much I love you. And how lucky I am that I've finally found somebody whose first impression of me wasn't my boob size."

He laughed. "Well, glad to have been of service," he said, with a playful bob of his eyebrows.

The thing was, I meant it. But the thing is, I think he knew that.

I went up the bed and kissed him, running my hands over his chest and flanks. He rose up on his side to meet me. One of his arms was around my neck now, curled underneath it, and he ran his palm over my back and shoulders; the other travelled down the side of my body, up and down, from hip to breast, and then farther--the tender skin where my breast attaches to my body, the tender skin of my underarm; the smooth tensed flesh of my thigh.

"Well," I said. "Someone's happy to see me." His penis was poking at my pelvis; I reached down and slid it between my legs.

"You do know men sometimes have those when they wake up," he said.

"All the better, then," I said. "I want it in me." I rubbed him across my slit so that he could see how wet I was--which was more than I expected to be. I don't know what it is about him, but his touch just sets me off. Or maybe it's his eyes: dark brown, serious, so compassionate and sensitive. Focused on me. I love looking at his eyes and knowing I am there, inside them.

I lifted my leg and slung it over his hips, giving him more access to my dripping slit. As I did, his hand moved to my inner thigh and began to stroke it, which only fired me even more.

"Do you want," I asked him, my voice hoarse.

"I want," he said.

I guided the head of his cock to the gate of my pussy, feeling it spread my lips. He flexed his hips forward slowly, and I felt him sink his shaft into me, opening me with his warm staff. I moved my hand to his hips and pulled at him, wanting more, until finally he was as buried inside me as he could be. I felt our pubic hairs intermeshing, felt his chest moving with his breath, the rush of his breath against my mouth as I pressed my lips to his, the thunder of his heart. Most of all, though, I felt his marvellous cock, filling me to the brink, making me a woman. I loved the fullness.

We sidled towards each other, wanting to be as close as possible, until finally my head rested on his, peeking over his shoulder, and we were as close as two people can be. Then he began to move inside me, and it all fell away: the dorm room with the scents of our previous lovemakings still hanging in the air; the noises of Saturday-morning college life coming through the window; even the bed beneath us, the comforters that sheltered us. All I knew was the tension of his body as he held me to him, mashing my breasts between us, and the fullness inside me, making short shallow strokes, opening me again and again. I clung to him, wishing our skin would melt, that we would become one person.

Every movement of his cock sent little tingles through my clit; the angle was just right for him to rub it on his way in and out. I tilted my hips forward, wanting him more. The sensitive skin around my pussy felt the crinkling of his pubic hair, now sharp as he slid into me, now just vaguely tickling me. A little painful, but a good pain, a pleasurable pain. My nipples rubbed against his chest with every movement. His hand stroked up and down my thigh, sometimes dipping towards the crack of my ass, brushing my slit with his fingers, leaving a trail of my own juices across my legs. His other hand pressed against my back, holding me to him. His breath thundered in my ear; he was whispering something with every thrust, perhaps not even aware of it: "Oh you feel so good, oh I love you, Heather I love you..."

I used my nails on his back, on the side of his leg, using only the tips to create a pressure I knew was exquisite--he had taught me to do it. I criss-crossed his back and then dipped towards his ass, running my nails across his firm cheeks--and then between them, to the tender skin around his asshole. He jerked forward suddenly, startled, his breath rushing across my ear, and I felt him slam into me, his cock buried in me, and I knew I had a new way to torture him. I left the area of his ass, continuing over his body as he resumed his slower motions, but every now and then I came back, and he jolted forwards again, driving that hot cock of his deep inside me, opening me up, warming me, filling me. He wasn't the biggest I'd ever had (don't worry, hon, I still love you) but I felt full, almost stretched, regardless. And all the while his cock was firming up (perceptibly, I swear) as his orgasm approached, and I knew mine was coming closer as well.

Then it happened. My fingernails slipped along the crack of his ass, he jolted forward, his cock slamming into me, the tip of brushing against my cervix, his shaft sliding along my clit--And then I was falling, falling, as my body erupted and my pussy clamped down on him, milking him, drawing him in, and I moaned, arching against him, pressing myself to him. I had a vague impression of his cock contracting, throbbing, and then a stronger, vivid burst of his cum splashed against my cervix and it set me off again, throwing me over the edge. I pressed to him, my head thrown back, moaning, whimpering, panting his name, as my pussy clenched and his cock throbbed and my clit tingled and together we spiraled away into ecstasy.

I was breathing hard, my forehead pressed against his, clinging to him, feeling the last of his spasms as he came down, feeling the delicious warmth of his cum clinging to my inner walls. I pressed my lips to his, and he responded, kissing me back vaguely, as our brains sorted themselves back into proper working order.

"Wow," I breathed. "Both at once."

He nodded. "That was... That was pretty cool. It was a little hard to keep track of everything, though."

I nodded. "I kind of liked it better how we did this morning, when we came seperately. That way I could really feel you. Oh, well, this was cool too."

He frowned. "I didn't wear a condom again."

I kissed him. "I know. I don't mind."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "This isn't really the time to be having babies. We're not even twenty yet."

"I'm sure," I said again. "I've read the statistics. The Pill is pretty foolproof." I grinned at him. "And besides, I like feeling your cum inside me. All warm and slippery and sticky."

His eyebrows bobbed, but he said nothing, and we rested, clinging in each other's arms.

I don't know what it is about him. About me, when I'm around him. The first time we did it--I just let him inside me, with no preliminary. With the other boys, I demanded my money's worth; they had to bring me to orgasm before I would even consider it. And maybe I should've held off, too, because they were all whiny about it. And I'd demand they finish me off afterwards, too. But with Colin... No such deal. Just, Come on, loverboy, and get it while it's hot. And letting him come inside of me! With no protection! I wouldn't've dreamed of doing that with any of the others! How completely irresponsible can you get? And yet, with Colin... It didn't matter. I didn't really care about getting off, I didn't care about getting my money's worth, I didn't care about... Anything.

No, I take that back. I cared about him. I wanted him to have the time of his life. And everything else just... Went out the window. Let him enjoy himself, let him do what he wants, let him have the best time possible, and I'll just be happy that he's happy. These things I'd normally charge him through the nose for... I just gave, with no other thoughts than, I hope he likes it.

Is that what love is about?

After a while he said, "I'm kind of surprised you came."

I arched an eyebrow. "I'm kinda surprised you lasted that long." I had lost all track of time, but I think he had gone on longer normal. But then, he's already gotten off once today.

"Well, I wasn't moving much," he said. "It's not really a function of time, it's a function of speed. Like," he laughed, "after my cock has covered a certain distance, after sixty miles or something, I reach orgasm, so what really matters is how many miles per hour I'm going."

I giggled. The analogy invited all sorts of weird thoughts about speedometers.

"But what about you?" he asked. "We, like, didn't do any foreplay or anything."

"I dunno," I said. He had a point. If I'm in a hurry, I can get myself off with my fingers within about five minutes, but that takes a lot more direct clitoral stimulation than I had today. It's that distance thing again. "I think it was you."

"What, what did I do," he asked.

I smiled. "I love you," I said.

He blinked, sorting that one out.

"I mean, your touch must have taken me most of the way there," I said, grinning at him. I know he loves my smile. Then I laughed, remembering his analogy. "Just one touch and I jumped like thirty miles. And I think it's because I love you. No one else has ever done that, but I've never loved anyone I had sex with before, either. I don't think that's a coincidence."

"Maybe," he said a little skeptically. "I think we're gonna have to test that theory a little before we can accept it."

"And what sort of testing did you have in mind," I asked, lidding my eyes seductively. He laughed and kissed me.

As we cuddled together, nuzzling each other in our post-coital bliss, I wondered what about him made me want sex so much. Thinking back over the past fifteen or sixteen hours, I realized I'd been rather wanton in my behavior. With any other man, I'd worry he'd think I was a slut. I'd certainly been acting like one. I had made him come, what, five times in the past twenty-four hours? Compare that to Jason, who dumped me at three o'clock yesterday afternoon--seems like a lifetime ago. I had given Jason a hand-job. Once. In a five-month relationship. Versus Colin, whom I had sucked off, had sex with, and let come inside me. This really wasn't normal. I'm as inhibited as any normal woman, but...

I felt him slip out of me, and whimpered a little. "I wish you'd stay stiff. I wish you'd stay in me forever." Inside, I marvelled. One minute I'm scolding myself for being too forward, the next I wanna cram his cock back into me. What was it about his effect on me?

He laughed a little. "You really are getting into this, aren't you."

I looked up at him. If his thoughts had paralleled mine in noticing how turned-on I was, had he also begun to think of me as some sort of hussy?

"I mean," he continued, oblivious to my musings, "if you treated your other boyfriends like this, I can't see why any of them would dump you." He was smiling, so I knew he didn't mean it as a slight, but... One thing about Colin is, everything he says, he means. Even when he's joking, like he was now.

"Colin," I said. "I... Well, I don't want you to think I'm some sort of slut or anything." My cheeks burned. My God, having to say that. "I'm... I'm not normally like this."

"I know," he said, "we talked about it earlier."

"No," I said, "we need to clear this up. I... I kind of feel bad."

He took me closer into his arms, used his hand to lift my face to his. "Why? What's wrong?" His face showed lines of concern and worry.

I sighed. "I... I kind of feel like I've been letting my... My sex drive get away with me." I smiled ruefully. "If I was a guy, I'd say I was thinking with my cock, but I haven't exactly got one now have I. I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I was... I was serious when I said I had only slept with two other guys, and none of them like this. Not with this... This frequency, this density. Hell, I've come more in the last day or so than I normally do in a week." I gave him a speculative smile. "And that's your fault."




More than Friends: Ch. 04



"So she hasn't said anything to you?" asked Martha.

"No, nothing, Ma. And if you ask me I haven't noticed Janice behaving all that different, either." 

Yvonne was getting exasperated with her mother, who had chosen to call her in the midst of her work day. Although in all fairness, she noted, her mother couldn't have known she was working on a Sunday. But she was growing tired of her mother's insistence that something was not right with Janice, simply because she gave them a surprise visit when she first got to Philadelphia.

"And, how come you waited this long to say anything, if you were so worried?"

"I didn't want to intrude and I hoped she would tell me in due time but she hasn't said anything so far. I could sense some tension in her voice during our last few calls -"

"Maybe you caught her when she was busy at work too." 

"Look, I'm too worried to sit quiet about this any longer. I thought as her best friend you'd know what's going on." explained Martha. 

She knew her daughter wasn't perceptive when it came to feelings and rarely picked up on someone else's unease but considering how close Yvonne and Janice were, she'd hoped that Janice had confided in her.

"It could be work related anxiety, you know. She had just moved here from France and was finally going to start working at the company she'd fantasized about for years ... Eddie said she was nervous about it." 

"Maybe. It's just ... she felt too troubled and withdrawn- even with me- for it to be something as simple as that."

"I don't know, Ma. All I'll say is that if there was something bothering her, then she certainly didn't say anything to me. And as far as I can tell, she's doing really well right now."

"She is? Why do you say so?"

"Well, for starters her work- she's doing really well there. Her boss kept riding her ass like a dick at first -"

"Yvonne!"

"What?"

"Language." Martha said, rolling her eyes. 

She liked that she had the kind of relationship where her daughter would freely talk to her about everything but sometimes she had to remind her about her manners.

"Er ... Ok. So, her boss is a meanie who was making her work longer hours than the rest and having her work reviewed constantly. I think they must've thought that just coz she's young and pretty she couldn't handle it, but, you know what a trooper Jan can be- she toughed it out."

"That's nice. She never said they were giving her a hard time at work."

"Yeah, she wouldn't have told me either but you know me, I don't wait till she talks. I make her talk if I sniff something's off."

Martha laughed softly as she recalled the few times the girls ever fought as kids. All the instances involved Yvonne suspecting Janice of keeping secrets from her.

"The other reason why I think she's more than just okay? She's been dating this guy from Eddie's office."

"What do you mean dating?" asked Martha surprised. "She hasn't said anything to me!"

Yvonne smiled, aware of the key role she'd played in bringing Yvonne and Dara together. 

"Dating as in has gone out with the same man more than once and, without me twisting her arm about it."

"Really?"

"So maybe I did some arm twisting the first time but not since."

"Well I'll be damn- "

"Language, Ma!" 

Yvonne laughed as she teased her mother for swearing.

"Sorry 'bout that. I'm just shocked, as you can imagine ..."

Those close to Janice knew she rarely went out with anyone more than once. Her dating pattern consistently involved her going out with someone once and then losing interest claiming that the chemistry wasn't there or they weren't her type or some other excuse for not seeing them again. 

To Martha, it had always felt like Janice already had an ideal in mind which all these men were falling short of. She worried that Janice would never meet anyone in reality who measured up to that ideal and thought it a shame that such a bright and caring young woman would end up all alone someday because of it.

"Dara is a good looking guy from Eddie's office- smart, charming, funny. He comes across like this total player but she's got him wrapped around his finger."

"So you think he'll be good for her?"

"I know he'll be good for her which is why I'm planning something to move things along."

"Now Yvonne, you should know better than to meddle."

"I'm not meddling, Ma! We've all been so busy with work and it'll only get busier for me once summer's here ... I thought it'd be nice for us to get away together for a weekend ... One of my client's owns a beachfront property - I'm trying to talk her into letting me use it for one weekend at the start of summer."

"That does sound really nice. Now, when are you bringing Edward home to see us?"

"Edward will need to check with his firm, but as far as I'm concerned, not before Thanksgiving, that's for sure. I've got stuff lined up back to back, pretty much, till then."

"If you're so busy with work all the time how are things between the two of you?"

Yvonne hesitated before answering.

"Fine, I guess." 

"You know that boy's the best thing that ever happened to you. You better treat him right."

"I know, Ma. I love him. You know I've never felt this way about anyone before Eddie ... just ... sometimes I wonder if we're really suited for each other."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't say for sure ... With him, everything is better than it has ever been for me. But then there are times I think we don't get each other at all."

"Have you said these things to him?"

"No. I'm scared, Ma. I don't want to lose him."

Martha had never known her daughter to be scared of anything and neither had she sensed such insecurity in her before.

"Knowing how long that boy has carried a torch for you I don't think he'll scare off easily. You really should try talking to him."

Yvonne kept quiet. She had not confided in her mother about how Edward and her relationship started off with a lie- it was a secret she kept from two people of the three people she loved the most in this world. 

She knew some of her insecurities stemmed from her casual musings on whether Edward had really fallen for her or for the woman he believed he was communicating with all those years. She knew the sooner she came clean with Edward the sooner she'd be rid of these uncertainties about their relationship. 

"I think you're right. When the time's right I'll talk to him."

"Don't wait too long. Where is he anyhow? Lemme say a quick hello while I'm still on."

"He's at Jan's. She needed some stuff fixed and decided to do it on her own today, since she has the day off."

"What is she getting fixed?"

"I don't know. I wasn't paying attention- sounded like manual labor would be involved. You know how she is about taking money ... so, I asked Eddie to drop by and help out."

"Nice of him to agree."

"Oh, he's a saint to agree. I know he had planned on watching some big game this morning. He was a little grumpy about being told last minute but he agreed to go nevertheless when I pointed out how Jan would likely end up drilling a nail into her own hand ... You know she really isn't as handy as she likes to think she is."

Martha would've snorted if she wasn't too dignified for such behavior. It was true- while not inherently clumsy- Janice had managed to injure herself on numerous occasions by taking on projects that were outside her skill-set.

"Why didn't you go to give them a hand?"

"Because, I'm working. I told you so at the start. In fact, I need to hang up now- the party starts in under thirty minutes and the DJ isn't here as yet."

"Alright. You go do your thing. Love you."

"Love you too. Bye."

*****

Edward had made it a point to avoid Janice or at least avoid situations where he would be alone with her. He was confounded by the pull he felt towards her. Sure, she was attractive but Yvonne had movie star good looks and yet he'd never fantasized about her, or any other woman, in that manner. It felt like anytime his guard was down she'd pop uninvited into his head. Annoyed by her attempts to drive him insane, he usually found himself irritable and surly in her presence. 

He had looked forward to spending his Sunday morning doing something special with his girlfriend so he was disappointed to learn she was working a brunch event that day. He changed his plans from a sensual massage to relaxing in front of the big screen catching the replay of Saturday night's big game. He was all set and ready to hit the remote when Yvonne walked in, asking him to help Janice out. 

"I'm a lousy handyman, you know." was his explanation for why he couldn't.

"As is she. She's good at planning but execution, not so much. Ideally I would prefer to just hire a professional to do- whatever it is- but she's too damn proud for that. 

"I can't think of anyone else I can ask who she'd be willing to accept help from."

Edward couldn't deny the soundness of her argument, so here he stood now- feeling a bit silly with his box of tools- outside Janice's apartment. He was embarrassed to admit that he wasn't one of those men who were good with tools. He hoped that she didn't need anything beyond hammering a few nails here and there. 

As he waited outside for the door to be opened, his thoughts ran to the key that remained inconspicuously with the rest of his keys. Once again, without meaning to, he found himself recalling the scene from the last time he'd used that key. So when the door was finally opened he was taken aback to find a shirtless and sweaty Dara before him.

"Hey man." Dara nodded at him before squinting down at him. "Is she expecting you?"

"Obviously not." Edward replied.

Edward felt like an imbecile, standing there, toolbox in his hand, while clearly he'd interrupted them. He turned to leave but stopped when he heard Janice's voice call out from inside.

"Who's it Dara?"

"It's me. Ed-"

Janice had reached the door by now. She was dressed casually in a pair of short shorts, tank top, worn out sneakers and had her hair up in a ponytail- covered by a bandana. 

"-die."

"Hi," she smiled brightly at him. 

He couldn't get how she managed to look adorable and sexy at the same time.

"Yves said you may need help." he blurted when he realized he'd been staring at her. 

"Thank god!" she said, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him in. "I thought I could manage on my own. But as you can see... " She held out her hands and pointed around her. 

He noticed the furniture in the living room was covered with sheets of plastic and paper was spread over the floor. 

"Yves said you wanted to fix stuff."

Janice burst out laughing. "Newp. Sorry. It's a paint job. Think you can handle it?"

"Sure," Edward looked at his clothes, "I just wished I'd been warned."

"I'd offer you something to wear, but I don't think I have anything in your size."

"Good because I don't think I could pull off hot pink as well as you."

Janice laughed. 

"Okay, why don't you boys finish scraping the walls here while I go cover my stuff in the bedroom?" 

"Sure thing, boss lady." piped Edward.

"Here," Dara said tossing a sponge at him as soon as Janice had left the room. "So, Yvonne volunteered your ass?"

"Mmhmm. I was all set to watch the game, but, here I am, instead."

Dara chuckled, "Yeah, I came over hoping to score some brownie points. I've never had to work so much for pussy before."

Edward cringed inwardly but stayed silent.

"Just look at her- out there on her hands and knees, clueless about what a tease she is." 

Dara was pointing towards the bedroom. The door was open so they could see Janice lining the papers on the floor; her shorts clung to her ass creating a very tempting picture. 

"Let's just get this done." he told Dara.

"Sure."

*****

"Why is this place like a furnace?" Edward commented on the heat. He'd barely started and yet he was already sweating profusely.

Dara shrugged his shoulders. 

"Something to do with a broken humidifier timer switch, I think. It should turn off in a couple of hours. I don't care though, since it gives me an excuse to show off my hot body." 

Watching Dara flex his muscles and make silly faces while striking bodybuilder poses had Edward doubling over with laughter. Dara could be crass at times nonetheless he was a fun person to hang out with. 

The men finished sponging the walls and fixing the cracks, as needed. It was hot work and Edward stripped off his shirt, shoes and socks in an attempt to stay cool. 

"Okay boys. I think we're ready to paint now." said Janice, entering the room with brushes and rollers in her hand. 

Janice bit her lower lip as she watched the two sweaty, shirtless men before her. Both, good-looking with fit bodies. Unfortunately, the one she really wanted to stare at was the one off-limits to her.

Keep it together. Don't let your hormones get the better of you after you've been good for so long. 

She silently chided herself oblivious to the fact that, standing there all sweaty, with her clothes obscenely clinging to her curves, she was having a similar effect on the men before her. And only one of them wasn't feeling miserable because of it. 

They finished the first coat of paint sometime in the afternoon and then took a break while they waited for the paint to dry. They stretched out on the floor, drank some wine- since Janice didn't have any beers- and ate cheap takeaway as they relaxed. 

The humidifier had finally switched off but the place was still warm. The -combination of the afternoon heat, wine and exhaustion was making them act a little silly. 

Edward was struggling to resist the urge to watch the beads of sweat rolling off of Janice's body while simultaneously getting annoyed with Dara for ogling her and making excuses to touch her.

"Look, you've got some paint here." said Dara, rubbing the back of her thigh when she stood up.

Janice looked down her leg and noticed the squiggly lines of paint drawn on her thigh. She squinted at him and smiled as she dipped her finger into a can of paint.

"Look, you got some too." she said, drawing a line on his face.

Dara stepped back, picked up one of the brushes still dripping in paint and jerked it, splashing drops of paint on to her face and body. 

"Oh, this is war now!" declared Janice.

She picked up the roller and walked up to him. He knew what was coming and backed away from her. She moved her hand to run it across his chest but he was too quick. He dodged her by grabbing and pulling a stunned Edward in front of him as a human shield. Dara ran into the bedroom laughing, while Janice stared at Edward with her mouth gaping open, in shock. 

She couldn't make out from his expression how mad he was. She braced herself by closing her eyes, expecting him to yell. She was caught off guard when he, instead, tickle tackled her to the floor. In a flash Edward had Janice pinned under him as he straddled her hips and used his shins to press down on her lower body. He grabbed her wrists and held them together using one hand, above her. 

"No." 

She squealed and wriggled trying to get away when he motioned with his free hand like he was going to tickle her some more.

"Ooooh yes." he said, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Just like ole times. Though I think you're more ticklish now."

"Get off me you big lump." She yelled at him the same she did when they were kids.

"Apologize and I'll let you go."

"For what? If anything, it's Dara's fault."

Edward pretended not to hear her and moved his hand to make her think he was going to start- even as a kid he knew it was always the anticipation which made it worse for her than the actual tickling. 

She squirmed some more, pulling at her hands and arching her back to get away. 

He leaned closer to her ear, "Just apologize or you're going to get the ten finger treatment." This was where he'd use all ten fingers to tickle her.

"No. No. No." She squealed between bouts of giggles.

She thrust her hips wildly to dislodge him and stilled herself when she heard him groan instead. Both stopped laughing, suddenly aware of how intimately they were positioned. He could see her erect nipples poking through her clothing. She could feel his hot breath tickle her skin. They both lay motionless, staring at each other, unaware of what of happening between them. 

"Is it safe to come out?" 

Dara's voice broke the spell. Edward jumped up and moved away from Janice, who sat looking a little shell-shocked. 

Hiding in the bedroom he had heard Janice squealing and Edward laughing so he couldn't understand why they both looked so serious now. 

Feeling awkward about what may have almost happened Janice and Edward resumed painting quietly, with Dara joining them once he realized that fun time was over. 

*****

It was late in the evening when they were finally done. 

"Why don't you clean up too before you go?" Janice asked Edward.

"No, my jeans already have paint all over them. No point cleaning up if I'm to go home wearing them." 

Edward dressed while he waited for Dara to finish cleaning himself.

"Make sure you put some papers on your car seat so you don't get paint all over it on your drive home."

"Good thinking." he said, helping himself to some of the clean sheets of paper still sitting on the floor. 

Something had bothered him from the moment he arrived and saw Dara at her doorstep. He concluded it was better if he just said what was on his mind.

"Jan?"

"Yes?"

"Anytime you need help, any kind of help, will you call me? I mean, don't hesitate to call me." 

He really wanted to tell her that he didn't like the idea of her depending on anyone else for help but knew he had no right to even think about, let alone say such things to her. 

Janice avoided looking at him directly, still feeling embarrassed over how excited she got when Edward had only been goofing around with her earlier. So she didn't see the way he was looking at her, otherwise she would know there was more to his offer than he was saying. 

"Thank you, Eddie." 

She said, finally looking up at him, but, he was looking away now.

Dara strode towards them dressed and ready to leave. Edward waited for him in the hallway outside while Dara stopped to say bye to Janice. 

"Bye beautiful." 

"Thank you for today." she said. 

"Any excuse, to spend some time with you. Only next time, let's do something more glamorous." 

"Sure, I can take you some place fancy. Do you own any overalls and gloves?"

"How 'bout I pick the place?"

"I'll call you." 

Dara leaned in and waited for her to kiss him. He felt after all his work he'd at least earned a kiss so he felt disappointed when all he got was a peck on the cheek with another "Thank You" before she shut the door. 

"She's a total fuckin' tease," Dara grumbled as soon as they were out of earshot. "When I finally get her to my bed I'm gonna tie her up and tease her till she begs me to fuck her- give her a taste of what she's put me through." 

Edward almost howled in pain. After the kind of day he'd had, he really didn't need the mental image of Janice tied up and begging to be fucked. He couldn't understand his fixation with her and it was taking a toll on him. Something had to give if he was to be stopped from doing something they would all live to regret. 

*****

Yvonne's work schedule was messing with her personal life. As her client base and popularity grew, she struggled to make time for the people she really cared about. 

Edward and Yvonne's schedules were completely conflicted- they barely even saw each other anymore and not for lack of trying. There were days when he'd try to stay up till she returned or she tried to wake up earlier than needed just to catch him before he left for work, yet they never seemed to get enough time to discuss their concerns about their relationship. 




More than Friends: Ch. 04



The times Yvonne did finish early she'd drop by Janice's apartment to hang out with her. Ever since her mother expressed her concerns about Janice, she felt the need to spend time with her friend to make there wasn't anything significant she was overlooking. 

Since Edward was doing his best to avoid Janice he made it a point never to show up there unless he was dragged along by Yvonne. It was on one such occasion that the three friends found themselves eating dinner at Janice's apartment. The terrace would've made for a far more pleasant setting, especially now that the few surviving plants were in bloom, but Edward insisted, that they sit inside. 

"I think you two need some couple friends." said Janice. 

The last few times they visited she caught Edward staring at her but he looked away as soon as she made eye contact. She didn't know what she did to upset him but he looked pretty miserable any time he was around her. It became clear to her that he didn't want to be there.

"I hear that you and Dara are likely to be just that, soon enough."

Edward's ears perked up at Yvonne's response. 

"That man talks more than what's good for him." said Janice.

"So, not true?" asked Yvonne.

"No. I just said that he talks too much for his own good."

"You two have been dating?" Edward asked a bit puzzled. 

"Yes."

"Is it serious?" 

Edward was surprised to hear about this development and even more surprised about how much the idea was upsetting him. 

"Our boy seems to think it is." Yvonne chipped in.

"I don't know ... It's nice. He's a distraction from work. And, if I'm being honest, I have to say that it feels good to have someone pay attention to me."

"Sweetheart- I'm sure Eddie will agree with me on this- many men would be happy to pay attention to you if you just allowed them."

Edward nodded mutely.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence but I don't see any one lining up. Heck, apart from you two, I don't even really have any friends in this city! So spending time with Dara, is pret-ty nice."

"Plus, he's hot." added Yvonne.

"Yeah," said Janice blushing a little, "and, he's not pushy. He's been really patient with me so far."

"That's Janice speak for- they haven't done the nasty yet." Yvonne explained to Edward.

"No?" Edward asked, confused.

Janice blushed and grumbled under her breath.

"Please don't talk about S-E-X in front of the B-A-B-Y." Yvonne told Edward in a mocked whisper.

"Of course, you can talk about sex in front of me. Just don't talk about my sex life." Janice whined.

"No point in discussing non-existent things." Yvonne teased.

Edward watched in fascination, Janice's shy responses to Yvonne's teasing. It didn't line up with the image of the woman pleasuring herself with wild abandon. He wondered if he imagined the whole thing in some fevered state of mind.

"I'm excited about this weekend. My first weekend off in ages." said Yvonne.

"My weekends have been pretty relaxed since the Beast decided that I was actually worth my salt, but I'm excited just the same." 

The Beast was how everyone at work referred to Janice's supervisor. Jacob- The Beast- Turner, was one of the named architects and he believed in making life a living hell for anyone who didn't meet with his standards. It took months of proving herself in every challenge tossed her way before she finally managed to win his confidence in her abilities. 

"I know. I don't think we've gone together to the beach since we were kids."

Yvonne's comment drew Edward out of his reverie. 

"Wait, what? I thought it was a weekend getaway for us." said Edward.

"It is a weekend getaway for us." explained Yvonne, moving her hands around to indicate everyone in the room."

"I thought it was s'posed to be just the two of us." Edward pointed to himself and Yvonne.

"No hun. It's you, me, Jan and Dara."

"What?!! Dara's also gonna be there now!"

"Look, we don't have to go together." Janice interrupted, feeling more than a little uncomfortable. "You guys should go alone; after all, you two haven't had any time together in a while."

Edward wasn't thrilled at the idea of sharing space with Janice and Dara for two days but he didn't want to cause her offence, either.

"That's not how I meant it Jan. I was just surprised as it wasn't something I was expecting."

"The house I've rented is huge with enough rooms to give us all privacy." Yvonne explained to Janice and then turned to Edward. 

"I'm sorry baby. I thought you understood that I meant to include Jan. Are you really okay with this?"

Edward felt like an ass. He didn't want to ruin Yvonne's plans or upset Janice further so he simply took Yvonne into his arms and hugged her to let her know he was okay with it all.

"Thank you, baby. We're going to have so much fun." she whispered seductively in his ears.

"Jan, we need to leave now." she said loudly as she left pulling a dazed looking Edward by the hand behind her. "See you Saturday morning. Bye." 

*****

Saturday morning, Edward and Yvonne picked up Dara and Janice at her apartment. The property they were headed to was less than a two hour drive away. As it was still early summer Yvonne had managed to convince one of clients to rent their summer home to her for just this weekend as a personal favor. 

"We need to have a barbeque tonight." Dara said at some point during the drive. 

The beach house Yvonne rented was a charming beachfront property. But since no one lived there, they would need to carry any supplies, they would have need for, with them. Between the drive and the stop for supplies it was past noon when they finally reached the place.

When Janice first heard Yvonne's plan for a weekend away for the four of them she knew immediately that this was yet another attempt on her friend's part to control her love life, more specifically, her sex life.

"I want separate rooms." Janice had insisted. "If I end up having sex with a man, it'll be when I'm ready and not because I've been forced to share his bed."

She agreed to go along only after Yvonne assured her that she would respect her wishes on the matter and not try to manipulate her actions in any manner. So she couldn't contain her anger when she noticed that the house had only two bedrooms. 

"I had no idea, Jan."

"You had no idea? Seriously? Bull-shit!"

The men were outside, unloading their bags from the car and didn't hear the women arguing. Edward was the first to arrive at the scene. He noticed an upset Janice standing in a confrontational pose before a sheepish looking Yvonne. 

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"Ask your girlfriend." Janice replied, tersely. 

Edward looked at Yvonne. "She's angry because the place has only two bedrooms." Edward continued to stare at her failing to spot the significance. 

"It means, your girlfriend expects me to fuck Dara while we're here."

"Come on Jan. You don't need to be crude."

"Why is it crude? Isn't that what you were hoping for- that I finally let him fuck me?"

"I just thought it would be nice- romantic. That's all."

Edward sensed Janice's frustration with Yvonne and jumped in before she said something regrettable. 

"I don't really understand what's going on here. But if you don't want to share a room with Dara, you can room with Yvonne. I'll sleep out here on the couch."

Janice was still upset with Yvonne but she didn't want to make a further issue out of it. She nodded and took her bag up to one of the bedrooms with a contrite looking Yvonne following closely behind.

*****

"I really meant no harm. It's just that sometimes you need a push where these things are concerned. Please don't be mad at me." Yvonne pleaded with Janice. 

Janice continued to give Yvonne the cold shoulder the rest of the afternoon. She didn't want to ruin their weekend but she couldn't help the way she was feeling. She usually put up with Yvonne's intrusive manner but this was one issue where she expected her oldest friend to understand why she couldn't just jump into bed with anybody. 

"I don't need a push, Yves. I need to feel comfortable around the guy to share myself like that."

"Have you ever thought that maybe you'd be more comfortable with a guy if you were intimate with them?"

"Yves, I never told you this before but when I was in France I tried to ... I was going through a rough patch and decided to go all the way with this guy from work. We'd gone before and he was smart and sexy and I didn't see why he wouldn't do. 

"So I found myself standing before my first naked man in his hotel room. He kept kissing me, running his hands up and down my arms, saying these really sweet things trying to help me feel better. 

"I drank, thinking it would help... thinking it was just nerves- like you're always telling me. It didn't help. None of it helped. He slid his hand under my dress and I felt his hand creep up my thigh- I felt so disgusted for some reason, I ended up puking on him."

"No!" cried Yvonne, clasping her hands over her mouth.

"Yes." said Janice, smiling wryly. "I did. And it wasn't the alcohol because I didn't drink more than a glass of champagne. My body was just not ready to go there with him. I'm not ready for Dara either, but I think, in time, I could get there. Just don't force me into a corner." 

"Oh come here and give me hug you runt. Lord, what a drama queen! Gave me a scare with how angry you got at me." 

Janice let Yvonne hug her.

"Did you really puke on the guy in the middle of sexy time?"

"I wish I was joking. Fortunately this happened just before I left so I didn't have to hide from him for too many days."

"Jan, I just realized something." Yvonne said suddenly serious. 

She pushed Janice away at arm's length and looked into her eyes. 

"You kept a secret from me. What else have you been hiding?"

"I wanted to tell you. I wanted to call you when it happened but I was thoroughly mortified and I just knew you'd tease me about this for the rest of my life." Janice replied honestly while carefully segueing away from Yvonne's questing.

"Now, let's go marinate the meat if we want to barbeque later."

*****

Since Dara was absent during the argument between Yvonne and Janice he was disappointed by the sleeping arrangement. He had come on this trip fully expecting to finally take his relationship with Janice to a new level. 

If being stuck with blue balls even constitutes a relationship, he said to himself. 

After their last few dates she had finally let him kiss her and the experience had left him feeling so heady he decided she was well worth the wait. The more time he spend with Janice, the more he believed that she was resisting him only due to her inexperience and not because she was playing hard to get. Since sex wasn't on the table, it gave him a chance to spend his time getting to know her as a person rather than just studying her body's responses to different sexual positions.

Dara realized that Janice was special to him when late one night he got a message from one of his 'fuck buddies'. It was the image of the woman posed on all fours wearing nothing but a pair of strappy sandals. She had used her hands to pull apart her ass cheeks to show her pink pussy as well as her asshole. The message read:



This was the kind of offer he would usually jump at, no matter his situation. Instead, he found himself deleting the text as well as the image. He ended up jerking off, imagining it was Janice who had clicked a picture of herself and invited him over. The next time he jerked off imagining Janice waiting for him at home every day, in that position; that's when he knew he was in deeper than he'd planned.

He finished changing and ran out to help Edward with the barbeque grill. Dara enquired about the sleeping arrangements. 

"The girls just wanted to share a bed like they did when they were kids." was all he got as a response. 

"Ed, I've wanted to ask you something for a long time."

"Yeah?"

"Those two are really close, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So do you think they ever ...?"

"They ever ... what?"

"You know." 

Dara waggled his brows suggestively.

"No! They're practically sisters."

"So?"

"So, they're not close in that way."

"Shame! That would've been incredibly hot."

"You realize this is real life and not porn, right?"

"Hey, I've known real sisters who were into each other. Anyway, these days all the women I meet claim to be bi at some point."

"They're not incestuous lesbians or bi or anything from some cheap porno you watched. They're just cousins who were raised like sisters, who've been best friends all their lives and one of them is my girlfriend while the other is a dear friend. I care about both those women and I don't appreciate you talking like this about either one of them."

"What the fuck, Ed! Lighten up. It was just a dumb comment. I didn't really mean anything by it. Come on, let's finish with the grill."

Edward had not intended to lose it at Dara, but he was tired of hearing him objectify Janice. He really cared about her and believed that for the kind of person she was, she deserved something better than whatever Dara was offering her. He hoped she would figure that out for herself sooner, rather than later.

*****

The group decided to go for a swim finally in the evening once they were done getting everything ready for their barbeque later. 

Yvonne wore a blue and purple bikini with her flowing curls bouncing freely in the air. She looked like a mermaid stepping out of the water. The summer crowd had yet to arrive so there were only a handful of people at that hour, yet all eyes appeared to be glued to Yvonne, all except Edward's. 

Throughout the day Dara kept flirting with Yvonne and ignoring Janice. Or so it appeared to Edward. He chose to swim till he was sore to work off his annoyance with Dara for hurting Janice by neglecting her. Or so, he thought. 

Janice wore a dull grey swimsuit which didn't flatter but didn't in any way hide her curves as much as she would've liked. There were several moments where she found herself the object of Dara's heated gaze. It made her want to go hide under a bed. Instead, she chose the middle ground- sitting by herself on a beach mat. Not being privy to either Dara or Janice's thoughts, Edward misunderstood the situation. 

*****

The group headed back to the house after sunset. The rest of the evening was spent pleasantly enjoying the sea air and barbeque. 

The sleeping arrangements ensured no one could have sex, so they got drunk instead. Knowing she was a lightweight, Janice cut herself off after a couple of glasses. So everyone, except Janice, staggered to their beds drunk, late in the night. 

Yvonne passed out for the night while Janice felt restless. She lay in bed staring at the ceiling but couldn't fall asleep. She tried reading some news articles on her phone but it made only left her feeling more alert. It didn't help that Yvonne kept trying to cuddle Janice in her sleep. She finally got off the bed and gave up on sleep when she found herself smothered by Yvonne for the umpteenth time. 

Standing in front of the open window, she saw the deserted beach spread out before her eyes. The moonlight danced on the water, inviting her to test its depths. She longed to go for a swim but wasn't sure how safe it was for her to go out by herself that late in an unfamiliar place. She smiled thinking about how Yvonne would've simply taken off, treating it as yet another adventure. The least she could do was go out and enjoy the night air on the porch swing.

*****

The couch had proven to be far more uncomfortable than it looked as it didn't accommodate Edward's long frame. His tossing and turning to try and get comfortable only hurt his already aching body. He cursed himself for having overdone it with the swimming earlier as he felt his muscles throb. He went out for a walk, hoping that the night air followed by a night cap would render him too sleepy to care about the discomfort of the couch. 

A short while later as he returned to the house he immediately noticed the small figure of Janice on the porch. She sat huddled on the swing with her eyes closed and looked like she was asleep. It was colder in the night and even if there was no one around, she wasn't dressed warm enough to spend the night outside. He walked to her with the intention of carrying her up to her bed.

"What the-" 

Janice jumped with a start when she felt someone touch her. 

"You scared me!" 

Edward watched her take the earphones out of her ears, and reach into her pocket to switch the music player off. It became clear that she had been listening to music with her eyes closed, which was why she didn't hear him approach her.

"I'm sorry. You looked like you'd fallen asleep outside; I only meant to take you in."

"Oh. I couldn't sleep and it looked so lovely outside I thought I'd sit here a while till I got sleepy. How come you're out?"

"Similar reasons." he said, sitting beside her on the swing.

Janice shivered a little as she forgot to bring her sweater. She hugged her knees to draw some warmth. Edward felt like putting his arms around her or hugging her so that she wouldn't shiver but he was afraid of what it could lead to if he touched her. 

He planted his feet firmly on the floor and pushed off, setting the swing in motion. 

"I'm sorry about what happened with the bedrooms." 

He finally spoke when the swing was set into a rhythmic motion.

"It wasn't your fault. I need to thank you in fact for stepping in." 

"Well, you looked like you were ready to say something you might have ended up regretting."

Her shoulders stooped as she thought about what she had meant to say to Yvonne just before he intervened. "You're right. It's just frustrating when someone treats me like a kid incapable of living my own life. I expect better from my best friend."

"You know in her own way she's just looking out for you. It's just that her idea of what's good for you isn't the same as yours."

"I know she means well. That's what makes it so hard for me most times."

Edward could empathize with the sentiment. In that respect his relationship with Yvonne was not that dissimilar.

"I'm cold. I'll go in."

"You go on. I need a few more minutes."

As Janice got up and walked back inside Edward wished he could ask her to stay; he'd missed his conversations with her. He wanted to tell her about work, about his annoyance with Dara, about his relationship issues, even his attraction to her. He wanted to share his thoughts with her because he had come to trust that she would get it, that somehow she would know exactly what he meant and would have the perfect response ready for him. And then they could just sit and laugh about how silly he'd been all this time. 

BULLSHIT! You're just another asshole trying to get into her pants.  His conscience yelled at him.

*****

Everyone finished with breakfast early in the morning and headed to the water. Yvonne was even more stunning wearing a white string bikini with gold ties that looked brilliant against her tan skin. In the daylight her long and athletic body looked sculpted to perfection. As Yvonne ran ahead of her, Janice sighed and looked down at her own modest suit, unaware of the stares she was getting from the few people on the beach that morning.

Edward woke up feeling stiff and sluggish. After breakfast he didn't join the other for a swim. He rolled out a mat on the sand and relaxed with his shades covering his eyes. He watched the rest of their party swim and splash in the water and before joining some people for a game of volley ball taking place further down the beach. As he watched Janice walk towards him, he grew mad at Dara for once again paying too much attention to Yvonne and forgetting about her. 




More than Friends: Ch. 04



Janice opted not to join Dara and Yvonne in a game of volleyball against some of the local teens at the beach that morning saying that she was too tired and wanted to take a nap. 

"This damn suit- useless. Friggin' jiggling all over the place- I'd probably end up poking my eyes out if I jumped around." she muttered under her breath as she walked to where Edward appeared to be napping on the sand. She was annoyed with the lack of support her swimsuit offered her breasts and was pretty self-conscious of the attention she was drawing from some of the men. 

She stopped before Edward's prone form, rolled out her towel and pitched an umbrella in the sand before lying down on her stomach for a quick nap. As she turned her head towards Edward she noticed that he wasn't asleep.

Edward saw she looked upset and didn't say anything immediately thinking it wiser to give her a few minutes to compose herself. When she finally chose to face him, he spoke up.

"They look like they're having fun."

Janice looked in the direction he was nodding and sighed. She would've loved to join them if she was wearing something more suited to the activity.

"Yeah."

Edward heard Janice sigh and saw the way she looked at Dara and Yvonne.

"So, you and Dara... how serious is that?" 

She looked up at him and wondered where the question had come from. "I don't know."

"I'm asking you how serious about him because I want to know how invested you really are in your relationship with him."

"What are you saying Eddie?" she asked sitting up. 

She watched Edward staring at Dara while he chased Yvonne- both of them were giggling and looked like they were having fun.

"That man has a roving eye- he's no better than an addict. Someone like that can't be happy unless they get their fix- they'll try to get it anyhow and anywhere they can. I'm saying you should think about that. I'm saying, you should do something about it." 

He couldn't come out and say that he thought Dara was a womanizing scumbag and that she should break-up with him so he let his words hang out there unaware they could be construed any other way.

"First of all what's happening there is just some innocent fun. Secondly," she said standing up and barely containing her fury, "I'm not going to sleep with someone because you think he may be seducing your girlfriend." 

Janice stomped off to the house leaving behind a completely confused Edward. 

While Edward tried to process what Janice said, she was busy packing her stuff and leaving. He was still sitting in a daze wondering what just happened when Yvonne came up to him. 

"I think, I did something really stupid, Yves." 

As Edward rushed to the house looking to apologize to Janice, Yvonne raised a brow, wondering what her always play-it-by-the-book boyfriend could have possibly done wrong.

"I know I asked you not to meddle in Janice's life and then I went and did just that." 

Edward told Yvonne when she finally caught up with him at the beach house. He had looked for Janice all over and knew she was gone when he noticed her bags were missing.

"I said something- I was only trying to help- I think she misunderstood. Anyway, it was really stupid, but she's gone and I think she may be angry with me."

"Honey, you're making very little sense. Slow down and tell me everything from the start."

Edward shared his observations on Janice and Dara's behavior the last two days as well as his conversation with Janice just before she took off. By the time he was done talking Yvonne was finding it really hard not to laugh out loud. 

Looks like I'm not the only one clueless about people's feelings.

She was certain that Edward's observations were incorrect as it was obvious that Dara had it bad for Janice from the way he kept stealing glances at her. As far as Janice getting upset was concerned, Yvonne knew Janice well enough to know there had to be more to it than Edward realized. 

"You must've really hit a nerve. In all these years I must've pushed her buttons a million different ways but she's never taken off on me." 

Edward couldn't believe that the woman who came across as so perceptive in her mails could be this clueless in person. He was tempted to point out that Janice would've taken off when they reached the beach house if not for his timely intervention but bit back his words as he didn't wish to be spiteful. 

"Let's head back home." suggested Yvonne. She could tell that Edward was feeling awful about how things had turned out. This trip was supposed to be a fun way for them to relax instead all they'd done was upset each other since they got there, she thought sighing. 

"I'll ask her to come over and we'll try and smooth things out with her." 

"Wouldn't it be better to let her just cool off?" asked Edward. "She may realize on her own that she over-reacted." 

"Did she over-react?"

"I don't know... More like misunderstood, I think."

"So how is she going to know that unless you explain it to her?"

"Okay, I'll start packing up. You should let Dara know the change in plans."

They headed back to their home in the city. On the way Yvonne called up Janice and asked her to come over for dinner. She persuaded Janice telling her that she was returning to the city alone after hearing about what transpired at the beach between her and Edward and was only looking to help her blow some steam. 

*****

"I'm sorry I lied to you, but I had to get you here somehow." Yvonne explained to Janice when Edward entered the room to join them at the dinner table. 

Edward wasn't certain if Janice would speak as freely, with him present, about whatever in his statement had upset her, as she would alone with Yvonne. So when she arrived he stayed out of sight till he heard them move on to dinner. 

"Eddie, I think you need to quickly explain what you meant because she thinks you were implying that Dara was making the moves on me because she wasn't giving it up and you wanted her to take care of her man."

"What?!? I wouldn't. I didn't. I only meant-" he sputtered in shock. 

"Calm down baby. I told her that's not what you meant. Just tell her what you told me."

"Janice, I am sorry" Edward started, the tone of his voice made her look up at him from across the table which she had so far avoided, "that you thought I meant... what you thought I did. I was only trying to tell you that based on what I've seen of Dara in the past, he isn't the kind of guy who sticks around after the chase. When I asked you to do something, I meant to say you should stop seeing him."

"For fucks sake!" Janice exclaimed before she burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. Within a span of two days she had fought with both her friends and in the middle of it all was Dara, for completely different reasons.

"One of you thinks I need to go all the way with this guy and the other thinks I should dump him. How about I just keep seeing him till I figure out what I want and you two just can mind your own business?"

"Janice I'm truly sorry for acting like a dick," said Edward running his fingers through his hair. He was genuinely apologetic, not for what he said but for all the inappropriate thoughts he'd had about her, "I am going to be what a good friend should always be- supportive of any choice you make."

"Okay you drama lamas. Can we finally eat before dinner's completely cold and ruined?" asked Yvonne trying to alleviate the tension in the room.

Janice knew Yvonne too well to expect her to agree not to poke her nose in her affairs and in this case she was glad for Yvonne's intervention as it helped clear the air between Edward and her. It had hurt Janice to think that Edward thought she wasn't woman enough to hold the attention of a man because that was already something she bitterly experienced when she lost him to Yvonne.

"Yeah, let's eat." 

*****

During dinner the conversation naturally steered towards the thing that formed the bond between them- their time together as kids. 

"Snyder Madison- he had the bluest eyes. I fell in love with him when I was eight and decided we were going to be married some day. But the asshole broke my heart when I was nine by marrying someone else."

They laughed at Yvonne's description of her first childhood crush.

"I was instantly attracted to Yvonne. She was," Edward looked at Yvonne and corrected himself, "she is so free-spirited, and... animated- that's how she always appeared to be- full of life. And the prettiest girl I'd ever seen."

"Why, thank you! If it helps, I think you have a hotter body than Snyder ever did. And the last time I saw him he looked like he was going bald."

"That is a great consolation to me. What about you, Jan? Who was your first?"

Yvonne burst out laughing. 

Janice glared at her before answering, "I've never had a crush on anyone."

Yvonne continued to titter. 

Edward ignored her and turned to Janice, "That's highly unlikely. We've all had a crush of some sort when we were kids."

"She's embarrassed to tell you."

"Why?" he asked Yvonne.

"Shut up, Yves."

"What are you two not telling me?" Edward asked looking at Janice, then Yvonne and finally Janice again.

"There's nothing to tell." explained Janice trying to sound calm. "I think Yvonne's just had a bit too much." 

She pointed at the near empty bottle in front of her, as evidence.

"Pfft. Tell him. I dare you."

"Tell me what?" Edward looked back and forth between Yvonne and Janice hoping one of them would clear this mystery soon.

"Jan is embarrassed to say who she had a crush on because that guy -"

"Okay, I'm not listening to this because clearly you're drunk. So I'm just gonna leave now." Janice said as she got up to leave.

"- was you." finished Yvonne, pointing to Edward.

"Me?!! You did?" he asked smiling at Janice.

Janice stood dumbly, rooted to the spot like a deer caught in headlights. 

"Yup for years." 

"I was a kid. No big deal." Janice spoke softly, looking down at the table.

"I think it started that day you made that bracelet for her. She still carries that everywhere- in her purse I think."

"It reminds me of my mother!" Janice spoke defensively.

"It's why she'd always follow you around like a puppy- a little love sick puppy. She'd draw little hearts with the words Eddie loves Jan written on them in her books."

Yvonne was a little drunk so she failed to notice that the more she revealed, the more it upset Janice. But Edward noticed and didn't want Janice to take off once more that day.

"Hey, if you're done with dinner, why don't I drop you home?" he offered Janice.

Yvonne wasn't paying attention as she continued to ramble on about Janice's crush. Edward helped walk her to the bedroom and then left to drop Janice home.

*****

Alone in the car with Janice, the silence couldn't be more awkward. Edward decided that work should be a safe enough topic for discussion. 

"How's work? Yves, mentioned that you're working at a site near my office."

"No, it's an upcoming project. And she was right the site location is a few minutes from your place of work. I'm really thrilled about this project. The Beast's, I mean Turner's design could revolutionize the industry norms for energy efficient buildings." 

At first Janice looked relieved and then excited as she spoke about her work. Before they knew it they were inside Janice's apartment. 

"I'm so sorry Jan." he said finally, while lingering near the door.

She sighed, her shoulders drooping in a defeated manner. "Yves should just know better."

"I never knew. Really, I didn't." He kept looking at her but she refused to make eye contact with him.

"I know." Her voice was almost inaudible as she said, "You've always only had eyes for Yvonne."

He pondered about the inaccuracy of her statement; he was not in a position to set her straight on that. 

She removed the bracelet from her purse and felt each shell between her fingers as she leaned against the wall with a faraway look in her eyes.

"You were nice to me Eddie. You'd watch out for me so I didn't get hurt. You'd stick a band-aid on if I scraped my knee. You'd carry me along if I was too tired instead of just leaving me behind... You'd even tell off Yves if you thought she was bullying me into doing something I didn't want to... I carry the bracelet because it reminds me of mom but it also reminds me of how good you were to me."

He smiled as he thought back to those simpler times. 

She looked at him but gaze seemed focused on some distant object. She suspected he was filled with nostalgia like her.

"You probably don't remember it but you were my first kiss."

He looked at her with a start.

"That's not possible." 

She nodded heartily and smiled. 

"I'm sure I would've remembered." 

He wracked his brain trying to recall what event she may have been referring to.

"It was my mother's death anniversary and I was feeling sad, especially because Suzie-Mae and Rick had chased me around calling me 'Orphan Janie'. You sat with me, spoke to me and hugged me. And then you bend down to kiss me on the cheek. Only I didn't know what you were trying to do and moved- so you ended up accidentally kissing me on the lips instead." 

She ran her fingers across her lips as if she could still feel it there. 

"It was perfectly innocent, but there it was- my first kiss."

Edward remembered the incident she was referring to. He watched her- lips parted slightly with a dreamy look in her eyes- hungrily. He knew that if she let him kiss her now there would be nothing innocent about it. 

Here she is being all sweet and open while you can't stop thinking with your dick.  He chastised himself.

"I'm sorry that Yvonne's teasing upset you, but, you should know that you have no reason to feel embarrassed about anything. I'm glad I learnt about it. I think it's a sweet story but I won't talk about it again if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I should go now as it's really late." he said before he rushed out.

*****

Dear Readers,

Hope you're still here and I haven't confused/ bored/ frustrated you completely. Don't forget to vote and comments are always welcome.

Subdued_Passion



More Than Friends Ch. 04



He stuck his tongue out. "Well, excuse me for wanting to give orgasms to the woman I love."

The woman I love. I could get used to hearing that.

"But, no, you see, that's the thing," I said. "I think it's because... I think I'm being so horny because I know you love me, and I know I can count on you to, you know, to do a good job with me."

"To do you well," he said, a wry smile lighting up his lips at the bad pun.

"Yeah," I said, "and that's... Well, honestly, Colin, I love sex. It's fun. Back with Bobby and the others it was like, Well, okay, maybe they'll do a better job this time, and Maybe it won't end after he gets off and rolls over and falls asleep, and Maybe he'll care about whether I get off or not. But it never was. But it is with you. And now I have this joyful thing that we can do together, and I love it, and, I want it." I looked up at him. "Does that make sense to you?"

He nodded.

"What about you, what do you think? And why are you so non-horny?" I gave him an amazed look. I was the one doing most of the cajoling! "Isn't it usually supposed to be the man who's always wanting to get it on?"

"Well," he said modestly, "you did say I'm like a girl sometimes..."

"That's not what I meant," I said. I wanted to get to the bottom of this. I had been playing the active partner in all this, and he had taken the girl's part. I wanted to know why the roles were switched. What did he think of me? God, what if he's gay? We've had sex, what, (let me see here...) five times in the last day, so I don't think that's it, but, I mean, you know...

He had been thinking as my mind ran frantically on its wheel, and now he spoke. "Well," he said finally. "Heather, it's been a long time in coming. I've gone without sex for most of my nineteen years. If this hadn't happened, it would've been twenty years in a few months. I was starting to think I wasn't going to get any until I got married. So I'm just used to not having it. It's not that much of a priority with me. Hell, I was with Jane, it took her four months before she was ready for me to kiss her on the lips. I had to be okay with not getting anything to stay with her, and I did. And I do think it was worth it. I guess my point is that I'm okay without sex.

"And in any case it's not really what's important to me. What's important is... To have somebody I love, and am hopefully going to stay together with for a very long time, and then be able to have sex with them. When you think of it like that, then having sex, you know, right now isn't such a big thing, 'cause there's always tomorrow. Hopefully a lot of tomorrows. Maybe even the rest of our lives."

"You really were serious about that marriage thing," I said, feeling somewhat awed.

He shrugged. "I've always thought that way. I learned in grade school--from you--that my life would be about people. That my friends and my loved ones are going to be the purpose for my life. And what more important person could a man have than the woman he loves? So I'm just... Always on the lookout."

I nodded. That's just like Colin. Not just the logic, but the people-oriented life. He's good with people. I'm glad that's what he wants to do, because if not, there would be a lot of people missing out on having a good friend.

I giggled. "Isn't it funny? You're acting like a girl concerning this, and I'm acting like a guy."

He grinned back at me. "Hey, I've always advocated gender equality. What's wrong with guys who act like girls, or vice versa?"

"Nothing, clearly," I said, smiling, glad the matter was settled. I've done my share of tomboying in my life, I sympathize with him. Though, of course, we live in a society where women can wear pants but men are given very odd looks if they wear dresses. Maybe he does have it harder than I do. ...Boy, that one could be taken two different ways.

"So," he said, "is this sex-fest thing going to continue? Because if so, we should probably get something to eat. I'm gonna need more protein if you expect me to keep going. Coming. Whatever."

I laughed at him and kissed him. "We'll do whatever you want, honey. We've got all day, it's not like there's a--"

We were interrupted by the sound of my cell phone from where it lay on Colin's desk. Colin sat up and gave it to me. I sat up and took the call. "Hello?"

It was my mom. "Good morning, Heather. Did you have a nice night?"

I beamed at Colin. "Mom, it was awesome."

"My little sweetie's growing up," my mother said. "Just don't grow up too fast, dear. Protection is your friend."

"You do remember I'm on The Pill, Mom," I said, glancing at Colin. "It was your idea, when I told you about all my cramping and stuff when I had my period."

"I know," Mom said. "Just reminding you. There's plenty of time for grandchildren later. Now, I have a little situation I need your help with."

"Okay, what's that," I asked. Colin had slid back until he was sitting up against the wall, and now he drew me to sit between his legs. He wrapped his arms around me and I lay back on his chest, the back of my head against his collarbone, feeling his breath ruffling my hair, his heartbeat (muffled by my hair) against my back.

"Do you remember who's coming over at eleven," my mother asked.

I sat bolt upright, jerking out of Colin's arms. "Oh crap!" I had completely forgotten.

"Yes, Heather," my mom said patiently, "and since it's about ten-thirty, I thought I'd better remind you. Since I imagine you're probably distracted by more pleasant pursuits."

I giggled, leaning back into Colin's mbrace. "You can say that again." This time he cupped my breast, and I pressed it there with my other hand.

"How was it, dear?" I could hear the smile in my mom's voice. "Don't be shy, give an old lady her vicarious thrills."

I smiled. "Oh, come on, Mom, you're not that old." She was twenty-four when she had me. In comparison, that same year Mrs. Watson turned thirty-two. A year later, she had Colin. And I got held over in kindergarten because they weren't sure I was socially developed enough or something, so the next year, when we both walked into that first-grade classroom...

"Yes, but far too old to have adventures like yours." Now now my mom was positively grinning. "Go on, Heather. Convince me not to yell at him for not doing justice to my eldest daughter."

I grinned, snuggling up against him, "It was great, Mom. He needs some practice, but he knows what he's doing." Ignoring Colin's startled intake of breath, I pressed on. "I actually came with him inside me! Can you believe that?"

My mom said, "Are you sure he needs practice, Heather? It sounds like he's got things down pretty well already."

"Well," I said cheerfully, "there's always room for improvement." I could feel his cock beginning to harden against the top of my ass cleft and, just for fun, I wiggled my bum back and forth, otensibly to find a better position, but really to feel his cock jerk against me. He's so easy to tease. I love how innocent he is.

"That's true, love. Well, your friends will be by at eleven, so perhaps you should come on home soon. If you're late, I'll tell them you're, ah, distracted, but I'm not sure how long I can stall them."

"All right, Mom, we'll come right back," I said. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie. See you soon."

"I cannot believe," Colin said slowly, "that you told her that."

"What," I asked, closing my eyes and snuggling into his embrace. "Embarrassed?"

"Well," he said, "yes. But also surprised. I can't talk to my parents that way."

I grinned. "I can."

"You're really lucky, you know," he said. "When I'm home, it's like I'm just living in this house that three other people live in. Whereas you... You have a family."

"Yes, but you do have a family," I said, opening my eyes and looking up at him. "One of its members is right here in your arms. Your friends are your family. You said it yourself." And he had, many times. And having seen the bad side of his mother, I understood why. Of course, I have a family, so I admit that these are just words to me. I can't imagine life with a mother who wasn't supportive of me.

"Yes, but I had to build it," he said. "And with all this arguing between Adam and me, I'm not sure how long it'll stay built. Yours was just... Plunked down in front of you when you were born."

I thought about that for a little. What did it feel like to have a mother who didn't love you? Now that was unfair; Mrs. Watson did love Colin, and we all knew it. But sometimes she let her love get the better of her, turning into an insecure, whining shrew who monitored her son's life incessantly. In point of fact, Colin got the easy deal; when his sister went to see a psychologist for her problems, she traced them directly back to Mrs. Watson's actions. I had never before considered myself lucky to have a stable parent. Maybe I ought to reconsider.

"In the meanwhile," he asked. "What was that you forgot about?"

"Oh," I said. "Some friends from my history class are coming over to share notes. Tanya and Adam, among others." I bet most colleges have history classes as universal requirements. I'm getting mine out of the way now.

"It's twenty minutes to your house, we'd better start now," he said.

"We," I asked, a mischievous smile playing around my lips. I rolled up on my hands and knees, my face inches from his, my ass sticking in the air.

"What, you think I'm going to let you out of my sight," he asked, grinning. "Besides, we ought to tell Adam. He'll be pleased, I hope."

I nodded. He had a point. And besides, why not bring him? It would be fun to have his company.

I leaned out and kissed him, and he responded, pushing forward to meet me. As one, we looked down at his crotch. Not only was his cock erect, marking time to his heartbeat, but there was a damp spot on the comforter in front of it. About where I had sat.

We blinked at each other for a moment in confusion. Then I smiled at him. "Well, you know you leaked out of me..."

He grinned. "Yeah, I know. It actually dissolves after a few minutes, basically turns to water. You lie around long enough after masturbating, you find out."

I looked down at the puddle again, at his cock again, and sighed. "Well, we don't exactly have time to replace what came out..."

He grinned again. "That's why I'm coming with you. So that you don't forget to come back."

I smiled at him tenderly, feeling my heart lurch with love. "I'd love to have you come with me." My eyebrows bobbed as I realized the double entendre. "In both senses of the word," I added, blushing a little.

He kissed me again. "It would be my pleasure."

Five minutes later we were dressed and strapped into my car, heading out along the road together, holding hands across the center console.



More Than Friends Ch. 05



A note to the observant: Almost all city names are false; they were taken from a variety of fantasy sources. All characters are based on real people, so it is no coincidence that they are the strongest part of the story. Names, and sometimes personality and personal history, have been modified to protect the innocent. The events of this story, however, are complete fiction.

Heather's Norwellyn house was perhaps the homiest place Colin Watson had ever been in.

The first thing that struck him about it, when he had first stepped over the threshold some five or six years ago, was that it was a little bit old--worn, stained carpeting; cracks in the plaster where people had kicked the corner on their way around too many times; broken tiles fixed with wrong-colored replacements. The ceiling seemed a little lower than normal, and the concrete patio in the backyard had weeds breaking up through it.

But after only a few minutes in the house, he realized that it was not the disorder of disrepair that he saw, but the disorder of long, hard use. Like a pair of old, well-loved jeans, the house was broken-in, maybe a little frayed, but still perfectly useful.

Colin Watson's father was an architect, and when he moved his family to Saldaea Heights, he had designed and commissioned a monstrosity of a museum house: marble floors, vaulting ceilings, virginal white walls and more rooms than anyone could ever want. Colin's family had lived there for almost ten years and the place was still pristine. Colin saw it as a sterile environment, like a hospital: cold and distant and untouchable. Next to this, the warm, breathing disorder of the Norwellyn household was a refreshing change.

As Mrs. Norwellyn had suggested, one of Heather's friends was already there, a bright-faced Chinese girl named Tanya Chang who had a habit of being very loud. A second friend, Lacie Epstein, had yet to arrive. The third was also absent: Adam Hawthorne, the third member of Colin's assembled family.

"Hey, Heather. Whatdja bring him for?" Tanya asked.

Heather shrugged. "He wanted to come."

"Yeah, but why was he with you," Tanya persisted.

Heather and Colin exchanged glances. "We'll leave that explanation until later." Tanya, sensing a particularly juicy bit of gossip on the horizon, squealed and rubbed her hands together.

Heather, predicting that the remaining members of the study group would arrive within a few minutes, went to get cookies for her guests, directing Colin to find a seat somewhere. She was proved right; barely had she walked into the kitchen when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Mrs. Norwellyn said. "Hi, Colin."

"No, I'll get it," Heather said, rushing out of the kitchen, unbound hair flying. She was wearing the clothes she had worn yesterday, and Colin was glad to see that they had not wrinkled or stained during the night's recreational events.

"I'll get your cookies," Colin offered, and went into the kitchen. Three feet away, through the wall that divided the front door from the kitchen, he heard Heather and her mother chatting with her new arrival--probably Lacie, since Adam had a much deeper voice than that. Once Adam and Lindsay had measured against a piano and discovered that Adam's talking note was a low D.

A 'container' of Safeway chocolate chip cookies was on the counter--Colin did not know how else to describe it; it was one of those plastic trays with ridges to hold the cookies on their sides, that could be slid in and out of the plastic bag. It defied description. There was also a plate, on which Heather had laid a few cookes. Colin washed his hands and got them finished up, arraying them in a circular overlapping pattern. Before he was halfway finished he heard Adam Hawthorne's voice on the other side of the wall.

Colin had not gone to the same school as Adam and Heather for years. He attended a private, expensive college, Besaid University, by the grace of his father's income, stimulated by the California Bay Area's housing crunch; today a house in an affluent community will sell for upwards of ten million dollars. Heather and Adam, on the other hand, were not poor, but neither had that sort of money at their disposal. Coincidentally, neither had their biological fathers around. Heather's had left before Heather had started school, and she had only gained a stepfather in the past few years. Adam's father had died, succumbing to early cancer when Adam was nine. Colin didn't think this had anything to do with it; both Mrs. Norwellyn and Mrs. Hawthorne were friendly, capable women. But to save on expenses, both Adam and Heather had attended a local junior college for two years. Now Adam was transferring to UC Davis to be with other friends, though he had successfully applied to Berkeley, and Heather was considering San Jose State.

Heather's sister Katharine walked in. "What are you doing here?" It was not too uncommon to see Colin or Adam around the Norwellyn household, but she had never expected to find one of them laying out cookies in the kitchen.

Colin shrugged. "I'm helping Heather."

The family resemblance between Katharine and Heather was unmistakeable; both had similar hair colorings and facial structures, though Katharine's eyes had a lot more gray in them. Katharine's voice had remained high, however, and her proportions and the roundness of her face made her look like an eternal schoolgirl. She had graduated near the top of her class and had deferred an acceptance to UC Berkeley for two years to attend Manetheren College and save her mother's money, as Heather had. She was seventeen.

When Colin finished with the cookies he brought them out and set them on the coffee table in the middle of the living room. "Anyone want something to drink?"

Adam jumped. "Colin," he said, a smile brightening his face. "What are you doing here?"

Colin shrugged and grinned. "Helping Heather."

Adam Hawthorne had always been tall, but now Colin was finally catching up to him after a lifetime of shortness. He had a chiseled, handsome face and warm eyes. He wore his dark hair short and spiked with gel. Like Colin, he had never placed much emphasis on the aesthetics of his body, but he paid attention to what he wore; at present he had on a necklace of pooka shells, blue jeans and a baggy grey sweater with UCSD in red block letters on the front. He was one of the kindest and most generous people Colin had ever met. Also, because he was gay, there was a constant stream of girls falling over him. Colin felt that this was proof of God having a sense of humor.

In the kitchen he asked Katharine to help with the sodas. He knew where they were--he had a head for random trivia--but he didn't want to seem rude by simply walking in and busting open the refrigerator. Once everyone had their drinks, Colin retired to a side chair, content to sit and watch the exchange of information go by.

It was a fairly rapid session. Heather's class was focusing on the rise and fall of the Ottoman Empire. They traded notes and observations on the lecture; evidently the teacher, a notorious test-giver, had suggested that this particular nation would feature prominently on the final. Colin had studied the Ottomans before, history being a common requirement at most colleges, and every now and then Heather asked him to clarify a point. Colin wondered why she did this. Was she trying to make a point of him being a part of her life? The Ottomans interested him, especially their method of succession when a sultan passed away; Colin was a psychologist, and any way to manipulate behavior interested him. But he wasn't exactly an expert here.

When the meeting ended, Lacie Espinosa excused herself, but Tanya still had questions. "So, Heather, where were you?" Adam looked over, mildly interested.

Heather glanced at Colin, feeling his eyes on the back of her head. "What do you mean by that, Tanya?"

"I got here at 10:58," Tanya said, "and you weren't here. Then five minutes later you come in with Colin." Tanya was grinning delightedly; her Gossip Radar was lighting up like a Christmas tree. "What gives?"

Now Adam was clearly interested. He looked back and forth between the faces of his two oldest friends, his hazel eyes speculative.

"Oh, well," said Heather, fidgeting. Why should this be so uncomfortable to admit? Neither Adam nor Tanya was going to scold her. "I was with Colin at his dorm for a while. We got a little held up in traffic on the way here."

"Wait," Tanya said. "You went to Colin's place last night, and then again this morning?"

Colin had stood unobtrusively, and now he sat on the end of the couch nearest to Heather, with Tanya on its other side. Heather herself sat in one of the free-standing single-user chairs, ninety degrees around the coffee table to Colin's right; Adam occupied the second chair, directly across from Colin and Tanya.

"Err, well." Heather toyed with the notes in her lap. "I didn't really come home after I went last night."

"Oh re-eally," Tanya shrieked, a gigantic grin on his face.

"Colin, what's going on?" Adam asked. "Something's not adding up here. You're going out with that Jason guy, aren't you?"

"What, me," Colin asked, scandalized.

"No, Heather, silly," Adam said, grinning.

"Oh, well, actually, she's not," Colin said.

"Yeah," Heather said. "We broke up yesterday."

"A-and," Tanya squealed.

"Well," Heather said. She and Colin smiled at each other and she took his hand. "Colin and I realized that we kinda like each other."

There was a beat of silence, in which Tanya and Adam, their two best friends, regarded them in twin images of surprise. Then Adam burst out, "Took ya long enough!" He was grinning.

"And you spent all night at his place?" Tanya shrieked incredulously.

Colin and Heather glanced at each other, smiling and blushing.

"Oh my God," Tanya said, clapping her hands and bouncing up and down. "Oh, my God, that's so-- Oh my God!" She covered her mouth with her hands and finally surrendered some volume. "What about your mother?" she asked, eyes wide. "I've been yelling and shrieking and--"

"Well, uhm, actually, my mother already knows," Heather said.

"And you're still in one piece," Adam asked, impressed.

"Actually, she was... Kind of approving," Heather said, blushing furiously.

"Evidently she's been pushing for Heather to get together with me for a while now," Colin offered.

"Yes, but... Like that?" Adam asked.

Tanya's eyes were wide. "Wow," she said to Heather. "You have, like, the coolest mom ever."

Heather chuckled. "If you think mine is cool, you should see his," she said, indicating Adam with a pass of her hand.

"Maybe, but I don't think she'd let me stay overnight at the house of someone I was dating," Adam said.

"No, she might," Colin said. "It's probably gonna happen at some point, so what's a smart parent gonna do? Exile you, so that you've got to sneak around and your first time is in the trunk of a car or something? Or let it happen and pretend not to see?"

"That's a good point," Tanya said. "I'll have to remember that for when I have kids."

After Adam and Tanya left, Mrs. Norwellyn came in to talk to them. "So, kids, what are your plans for the rest of the day?" A faint flicker of something crossed her broad face. "Kids. You guys aren't exactly kids anymore, are you. So what're you folks planning for the rest of the day?"

"Well, actually," Heather said, "we were going to go back to Colin's place and study."

"Study what," Mrs. Norwellyn said with a knowing smile.

Heather felt her ears heat up. "Schoolwork," she said primly, struggling for composure. It was one thing to have a parent look the other way; it was really another to have her confront you with that knowledge in your living room. "We may be horny college students, Mom, but we're also responsible college students, and we do have homework to do. Why not just do it in the same room as each other?"

"Why not just study here," Mrs. Norwellyn asked.

"Well." Heather averted her eyes, blushing, a secret smile on her face. "We do want to study other things."

Mrs. Norwellyn glanced at Colin. "What're your thoughts on this, Colin?"

Colin shrugged, giving Heather's hand a squeeze. "What she says, goes, as far as I'm concerned."

Mrs. Norwellyn laughed. "All right, I can see I can't win against you two. Go on ahead, then. But Heather, I want you back home by eight o'clock tonight. I'll be able to hold Arthur off until then, but that's your maximum limit." Arthur Combs was Heather's stepfather. This was his first marriage, and he was a little overprotective of his new daughters, as though determined to make up for not having been around for most of their childhoods.

"All right, Mom," Heather said, and gave her mother a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Well, run along, then, you two lovebirds," Mrs. Norwellyn said, making shooing motions with her hands. She smiled at them as they got into Heather's car.

Heather grabbed a change of clothes and her schoolbooks, and then they were on their way back to Colin's dorm, joyful at their time together. Heather turned on her radio and they sang with the music. Heather marvelled at his sense of pitch, marvelled at his ability to harmonize. She herself felt like a sore frog when she tried to sing, but Colin encouraged her. "You sound fine. There's nothing wrong with your voice." And finally, she sung, abandoning her embarrassment in the sheer joy of lifting her voice to the skies, and discovered that-- Hey, he was right, she did sound okay. Maybe that was the trick of it, just not being embarrassed.

They stood in the center of his room, looking around, looking at each other, giggling. "So," she asked, "do you actually want to study, or..."

"Actually, I kinda want lunch," he said. "It's past twelve. I'm hungry."

"What is it you're hungry for," she asked, her eyes lidded enticingly. She slid across the intervening space, pressing her boobs into his arm.

"Food," he said stolidly. "I work better on a full stomach." He eyed her for a second, a mischievous smile on his face, and then surprised them both by reaching out and placing his hand directly on the crotch of her jeans, cupping the mound beneath it. "And maybe some pussy for dessert."

She gave him a truly wicked grin.

They ate lunch at the cafeteria, all aglow with love--their eyes flickering over each other's faces, their hands constantly touching. The slightest thing sent them into peals of laughter, and they could not stop smiling. People passing by glanced at their companions and nodded knowingly. Colin and Heather didn't care. They had other things to occupy their attention.

And when they came back to Colin's room, they made love--slow, unflinching, unashamed, giving all to each other. They kissed, rubbing against each other, as his hardness moved within her; she moaned and whimpered and held him close, and he thought that she had never looked so beautiful. And when the time came and he erupted within her, pulsing and groaning with the discharge of his need, she clung even more tightly, wanting his seed, wanting him, all of him, forever and ever.

Afterwards they cuddled, content and satisfied and pleasantly exhausted, talking.

"I don't know what came over me," she said, thinking of her actions back in the cafeteria. If not for the glances between them, the warm silences, the love for him as evident as a blush upon her face, she knew that everyone would have perceived her as being completely drunk. She had an adventurous streak, but she wasn't used to being this... Out-of-control.

"Hey, it got me too," he reminded her, smiling.

"What," she asked.

He shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe we caught SARS or something."

She giggled. "Yeah, that's got to be it..." Then the laughter faded into a contented sigh, and she snuggled closer to him, feeling the sheen of sweat across his chest, the warm reddish smell of his flesh, the feeling of his body pressed against hers.

"I love you, Heather," he said tenderly.

She opened her eyes again. "Is that it?"

He blinked, thinking he was being called on for more. "What, do I have to spout off a sonnet or something?"

"No, I mean... Is that why we were so... Completely high just now? Just because we're in love? Because, I mean," she continued, "we've been throwing that around a lot recently, we've kind of been using it as an excuse for everything. It's like the insanity plea in court or something. And I'm starting to think that maybe we shouldn't do that."

He frowned at her. "I don't get it."

"Well, I mean... We've been pretty wild recently. And I don't mean the fucking." She flipped hair out of her face with one hand. "No one cares about what we do in privacy--or, at least, I don't. As far as I'm concerned, we could be fucking, or we could be, like, knitting or something. And it'd just be, you know, What We Do When We're Alone. But in public... I dunno."

"Well, I also kinda recall you being a little embarrassed about things we did privately as well," he said quietly.

She grimaced. "Yeah. That's true. So I guess it's both. But what I'm saying is... I dunno, maybe we ought to put a damper on things."

He nodded slowly.

"I mean, we're just... Out of control. And I know," she said, smiling, putting a finger across his lips. "I know it's mostly been me being out of control here--" He was kissing her finger amorously. She pulled it back, giggling, and he gave her a saucy grin. "--but some self-control would probably be appropriate."

He laid his hand on her cheek, kissed her. "Whatever you want, I'm okay with," he said.

"It definitely means we can't have sex this often," she said.

He hesitated for a beat. "Whatever you want, I'm okay with."

"You hesitated."

"Well, I don't know what your definition of 'not this often' is, but I've waited for most of two decades to be here. I can wait some more. Besides, I figure that anything worth having now, is also worth having later. Unless it has an expiration date on it or something."

She giggled. "'Pussy. Consume by August 3rd.'"

"Okay, now that's ridiculous," he said, laughing.

They giggled, but there was something else nagging on the back of her mind. It took her a little while to recall. "But, Colin... There's more."

He fell silent, regarding her attentively.

"Well... It's gonna be finals week in a few weeks," she said. "We're not gonna be able to meet like this for... For a few weeks, at least. This may be the last time we get to make love until summer."

"It's only three more weeks," he said.

She gave him a rueful smile. "You've clearly never been in a situation where you wanted sex but couldn't get it."

"On the contrary," he said, "you could say I've been in that situation for years. I think I'll manage."

She wasn't so optimistic, but she could tell he was trying to be brave for her sake, so she smiled and let it pass. Besides, surely she'd be able to find chunks of a couple hours where she'd be able to slip away... No, but his roommate would be here. Maybe they could...

"So," he said. "What are you saying?"

She took a moment to compose her thoughts. What was she saying? Less abandon; finals coming up; not enough time... The picture became clear, and it wasn't a great one. "I guess I'm saying that this will be our last chance to spend time like this for a few weeks. And that... We better enjoy it."

He nodded. "I hear you." A slight grimace. "I guess we had better put the homework away."

She shook her head. "No, it has to be done. And at least you'll be here. It beats being at home, trying to concentrate and being distracted by wanting to be near you."

He smiled. "Boyfriend as motivational tool. I like it."

Actually, she wanted to take a shower first, so he talked to one of his girl friends down the hall. She loaned Heather her bathroom keys, and Heather took his towel, his robe, his shower supplies, and his room keys, and was gone for half an hour. When she returned, she put on her change of clothes--white pants and a pale blue T-shirt that brought out the color of her eyes. She spent some time combing her hair. "I'd help you with that," Colin offered, "but I think I'd get way too distracted." She took it at face value, not understanding. To Colin, it made perfect sense: standing behind her, very close behind her, his front pressing into her rear, as he combed her hair--having someone comb your hair is very different from doing it yourself; the care they lavish turns it into a sensual luxury. They would probably end up making love again, and as much as Colin liked that, he felt he needed to concentrate.




More than Friends: Ch. 05



Yvonne woke up early the next morning with a pounding headache from having too much to drink the previous night. She was beginning to recall some of the stuff she'd said to Janice when she spotted Edward from the corner of her eye; he was dressing for work.

"I was horrible last night." she croaked.

"Yes, you were." 

Edward didn't turn to face her, focusing instead on adjusting his tie.

"How mad is she?"

"She isn't anymore. I dropped her home last night and then we had a chat."

"What did she say?"

"She seemed ... disappointed."

"I should apologize."

"Didn't you once say that words mean nothing?" he asked her in a flat tone as he picked up his jacket and briefcase.

Yvonne knew Edward was right and just as she knew the reason for her own bitchy behavior the previous night.

"We need to talk."

Edward was almost out the door, but halted at her words. He turned and watched Yvonne sitting on the bed. For once she appeared to be uncertain about something- it made her look so small. 

"Yes, we do." he agreed wholeheartedly. He suspected that she'd probably want to talk to him about their relationship. They hadn't had sex in a long time, not since he'd roughly taken her while consumed by his lust for Janice. The truth would be too hurtful to her but he owed her some explanation for why he couldn't be intimate with her anymore. 

"Dinner, tonight?" 

"Sure." 

They smiled at each other weakly. Both weren't looking forward to the task at hand but knew their relationship couldn't continue the way it was going. 

*****

"What the hell really happened yesterday?" 

Dara was still confused about exactly what took place over the weekend. One minute they were having fun and then they were not. Since he hadn't heard from Janice, he naturally sought Edward out for some answers, after his last meeting for the day.

"A misunderstanding." Edward explained with a shrug. He didn't see the need to provide Dara with any of the details. 

Dara squinted at Edward as if to compel him to divulge more information on the subject. When it didn't work, he was forced to ask. 

"What kind of misunderstanding? This whole weekend has been weird. As soon as we get there I noticed some tension between Yvonne and Janice. Then it looked like something happened between you and Janice and she took off and she hasn't been answering my calls since ... This trip turned out so not how I expected it to be."

"What were you expecting?" Edward asked trying to deflect Dara's question.

"Dunno ... Second base or at least to be in the same bed as Janice."

Edward was a little taken aback. Knowing Dara, he was expecting something more lurid and deviant than he'd just described. 

"I'd just like to hold her, you know. She feels so good when I have her in my arms. She smells like ..."

Burst of citrus on a warm summer's day, thought Edward. 

"... I can't describe it. She just feels good and I can only imagine what she must taste like."

Edward couldn't believe that he was hearing these words coming out of Dara's mouth- Dara, the serial womanizer. Had Yvonne and Janice been right about him all along, he wondered.

Dara felt a little self-conscious under Edward's scrutiny but he'd never felt like this before and there was no one he could share his feelings with, without being laughed off.

"Does she know you feel this way?"

"I don't know. I hope so. I don't want to scare her off by coming on too strong."

Edward felt his jaw drop in shock. He couldn't believe that the man who had been forward enough to ask women about their gag reflexes as his opening line was confessing to holding back on talking about his feelings because he was afraid it would be too ham-fisted an approach. 

"You really care about her?"

"Yeah, man. And, I have the blue balls to show for it too."

At least this sounded more like the Dara he knew, thought Edward.

"Frankly, I'm surprised you've stuck around despite that for so long- a record for you, surely?"

"Mmhmm. But you know how it is with women. If they manage to hold on to their cherry past a particular age, they don't just give it up to anybody."

"Hold on to their, what now?" asked Edward thoroughly confused.

"Oh, didn't you know?" 

When Edward continued to stare at him dumbly, Dara continued.

"Your li'l friend happens to still be a card carrying member of the 'virgins only' club."

First Dara talks like he's falling in love. And now he learnt that Janice- the temptress who seemed to just wait for an unguarded moment to pop into his mind and taunt him with what he couldn't have- was a virgin. Could this day get any weirder, thought Edward.

Ah, yes. I still have that dinner conversation with Yves, later tonight. 

"Janice is a remarkable woman. I'm glad you've come to appreciate her and aren't being bull-headed. There were some misunderstandings between the girls- nothing to do with you. Just give Janice some time to cool off."

What else could he say? At this point, Dara appeared to have more honorable intentions towards Janice than he did. He prayed that somehow he could fix things with Yvonne or at least find some middle ground that didn't leave them both feeling unhappy about their relationship.

*****

Yvonne spent the day unfocused and nervous. She considered calling Janice and asking her to tell Edward the truth; after all Janice was the one to first lie to Edward and impersonate Yvonne. But, she couldn't bring herself to do it because it wasn't fair.

And, she's already pretty pissed at me.  

Unable to handle the strain, Yvonne finally took off early from work and got home to prepare a fancy dinner for Edward. She was going to spoil him and pamper him to the extent where he would be too pleased to be upset over what she'd done.

*****

Janice awoke the next day with an unexpected sense of peace that she hadn't felt in a long time. Although initially she felt embarrassment about Yvonne telling Edward about her crush on him, it was followed by relief as it gave her an opportunity to tell him how much she cherished her memories of him. Edward had been Edward, making her feel comfortable enough to give words to some of long suppressed feelings for him.

The exchange, though bittersweet, was one that she was thankful for and as such couldn't be angry with Yvonne any more. She knew her friend would most likely be hung over and feeling horrible by now. She considered calling her and telling her that she was not mad at her, but then changed her mind. She would let Yvonne stew for a while; that way she would know better than to blurt out any more of her secrets in the future. 

She looked at her phone and saw the numerous missed calls from Dara. She'd forgotten about him in the midst of all the weekend drama. She would call him after work and plan something to make amends for how rotten their first weekend away had ended up.

*****

Edward pulled into the driveway of the house he shared with Yvonne. The place was shrouded in darkness. He opened the door and heard soft strains of classical music coming from their bedroom. He headed up the stairs aided by the light of the candles placed along the way to their bedroom. The bedroom also appeared lit up by an assortment of candles. He noticed covered dishes on a mat on the floor. The aromas bore the promise of a feast. And if that wasn't mouth-watering enough, as if on cue, Yvonne emerged from the bathroom wearing a red silk and lace negligee. 

"Wow!" Edward gawked. Yvonne was such a stunner, so why did he still keep lusting after Janice, he wondered.

You just did it again, you idiot! Fuck!! 

"Hi." Yvonne smiled and waved. She gestured for him to join her on the floor. They both settled down and she began uncovering the dishes.

"Wow! You really went all out." Edward commented, dumbfounded. 

Yvonne shrugged her shoulders as if to say it wasn't a big deal for her and it was the truth. She didn't enjoy the process but she was an excellent cook. So on the rare occasions that she would prepare meals it would make anyone wonder why she didn't choose to make her career in the culinary field. 

"I thought we should enjoy a nice meal and then maybe some desert," she said, suggestively, "before we have our talk."

Edward had not come prepared with what he would say to her. He planned on simply following her lead and hearing what she had to say before bringing up his own unique challenges with their relationship.

"Thank you for taking the trouble. This is really wonderful."

He was grateful for her effort since he felt he didn't deserve any of it, as Yvonne would most likely hate him when she learnt the truth about his obsession with her friend the past few months. 

Yvonne tried to make small talk with Edward as she served up one savory treat after the other. Unfortunately, Edward was feeling like too much of a heel, making everything taste like ash in his mouth. When he could no longer pretend to enjoy himself he wiped his mouth with a napkin and set his plate aside.

No point delaying the inevitable.  

She noticed him distracted. The romantic ambience, the sensual food and her seductive attire had failed to have him under her spell like she'd hoped for. She watched him wipe his mouth and knew it was time.

"I've been meaning to talk to you, for a while now." started Yvonne. "For a long time, I've worried about our relationship. I've found myself wondering if you fell for someone else ..."

Oh god! She knows. She knows! 

"... or if you ever, even, loved me at all."

Yes, my darling. Of course I love you.  

Edward wanted to take her in his arms and tell her that in all likelihood it was nothing but lust he felt for Janice.

"But the reason was not because of anything you did. It was because of something I didn't do." She said emphasizing the last three words and waited for their meaning to register with him.

"I've kept a secret from you. At first, because it wasn't mine to disclose. Later, because I was afraid."

"I don't understand, Yves. What secret?"

"I am not your Yvonne."

Edward laughed out loud. His nerves were already quite strained that evening, he didn't know how else to respond to such an absurd statement. 

"What I mean to say is that, I am not the woman who corresponded with you all those years."

What is she saying?  Edward blinked in disbelief.

"The first few letters were from me. But everything that followed- the monthly letters, the weekly mails- was someone else."

"But you sent me pictures of yourself and I contacted you and we met!"

"Yes. You were shown pictures of me with my friends. And yes we met and dated and I fell in love with you and moved in with you."

Edward had the nagging sense that something crucial was being overlooked at this point but he was too confused. He felt like his whole life had been turned on its head.

"But ... we've been living together. You said you loved me!"

"And I do, my darling. That's why I couldn't tell you."

"It had to be you!" That's when it struck him, what it was he'd skipped past. "Who else could it be?"

Who else could it be? There's no one who was that close to us throughout except for-

"Janice!" he exclaimed.

Yvonne nodded.

All these years ... all those mails! Over a decade, and it was-

"Janice?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Yes."

Janice, the woman who inspired lust in him like no one before was also the girl who wrote him for so many years.

"Why did she lie to me?"

"You'll have to ask her."

"Why did you play along? Is this some sorta game you two play with men?"

He knew it was both unfair and illogical an accusation, but he felt too hurt and angry to care about those details.

"Jan was in France when you asked to meet. She asked me to go meet you instead. I had no idea that Jan had stayed in touch with you ... I met you for drinks and there was an instant attraction. It's like you already knew me. I'd never felt that comfortable with anyone before. 

"I fell in love with you Eddie and I was scared you'd change how you were with me if you knew the truth. I didn't want to risk that. So I kept quiet."

"I don't understand any of this. Why are you telling me any of this now?"

"I needed to tell you for my own peace of mind. For too long I've had this doubt that I need you to squash once and for all. I've wanted to know if you fell in love with me or if you were already in love with Yvonne when you asked to meet her."

"I fell in love with Yvonne. But it wasn't something that happened overnight. It was gradual and took years, till one day I realized she was the woman I wanted to spend my life with."

Edward clenched his jaw as he thought about the moment when he bought the ring. He'd spend way more on it than he should have, considering he hadn't even met her then, but he didn't want to offer her anything less than his absolute best. 

She lied to me. So many years she pretended. All this time with me, she pretended. Was it ever even real? 

"And to answer your question, I was already in love before I ever met you."

He lay absolutely still, hoping that in the process he would still his tumultuous emotions as well. 

"What does this mean for us, Eddie?" Yvonne asked him quietly after an eternity of silence.

Edward looked up at her, his eyes red with anger and unshed tears. 

"What do you think, Yvonne?"

She flinched. It wasn't lost on her that he didn't call her Yves.

"For over a year, it's been you and me, Eddie. You dated me, you made love to me, you have been living with me. I don't get why-"

"I did all those things," said Edward, finally standing up, "because I believed you were her. I never once stopped to imagine that someone I loved would play me like this!"

So easily, she pretended ... like it didn't matter, like I didn't matter, maybe, because I didn't. Maybe, she never felt the same way about me. How else could she push me into another woman's arms like this? 

Edward leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor, finally being hit with the full extent of Yvonne's revelation.

Yvonne knew she'd made a mess of things. And as much as she loved Edward, she could tell that there was no hope for them. She wished she had told him the truth on their first date but there was no point in thinking about what she could have done then, now.

She knelt before his slumped figure and cupped his face in her hands. It was such a tender gesture and so unlike Yvonne, Edward found himself looking at her like a drowning person looks to a buoy.

"Please understand, I NEVER meant to hurt you or play with your feelings. I was just being selfish. I planned on telling you, someday. I just needed some time- time for you to get to know me, to fall in love with me."

She watched his gaze flicker and continued quickly while she still had his attention.

"I can see how that was never possible, not when your heart is already so full of someone else- there was never any room for me."

She started to tear up but needed to finish saying what she had to say while she still possessed the courage to do so.

She let go of his face.

"No point in dragging this dead horse around. So, I accept this as the end of our relationship as lovers, but can we please stay friends? It may not seem like it now, but I do really care about you."

When she got no response from him she stood up.

"I'll pack my bags and move out tonight." she said and set to the task immediately.

Edward was struggling to process everything going on. It was only when he watched Yvonne pack her bags that her words finally registered with him. He was angry and he was sad, but he could see that Yvonne was a victim too.

"Stop." he spoke feebly.

Yvonne halted and looked at him questioningly.

"I'm not going to kick you out in the middle of the night, Yves. You can stay here till you've found a place to move in. I'll stay in the guest bedroom till then."

"Are you sure? I don't want to make things any more awkward or difficult than they already are."

"Well, things are pretty shitty right now and I am pretty mad, but oddly it's not at you."

"Jan?"

"Yes. Why- I want to know why, but, I don't think I can accept any reason."

"You should give her chance to explain. Shall I call her?"

"No. I don't think I can handle that right now."

He stared blankly thinking about what he was going to do.

"Just don't say anything to her. I want to confront her on my own terms."

Yvonne swore that she wouldn't say anything to Janice and Edward finally managed to pick himself up and stagger to the guest bedroom.

She lied to me, she knew how I felt, and yet she misled me. 

*****

Edward was unable to sleep that night. He started out feeling hurt and heartbroken like something precious had been snatched away from him. He couldn't understand Janice's motivations to lie. She knew that he wanted to be with Yvonne and even marry her just because he believed that she was his best friend. She had so many opportunities to tell him the truth and yet she never even hinted at it. 

He was tempted to storm over to her place and demand an explanation. But he couldn't think of anything she could say that would give him satisfaction, however, there were things he could do to her that would bring him great satisfaction.

Ugh! How can I still desire her?

Because, she's the one.

No! She played me. If she cared about me at all, she wouldn't have let me be with Yvonne when she knew I was in love with her.

Why not hear her side? You owe her that.

No, there's nothing she could say. She set me up with Yvonne. She's with Dara. Fuck! She's with Dara.

Why do you care?

Because.

Because?

She's mine! 

Ever since he got reacquainted with Janice upon her return from France he had felt a strong connection with her. He was confused about the level of ease he felt with her, confused by the attraction he felt towards her. He'd never been able to understand his connection to her, till now. She was his. Quite simply, she belonged with him. 

*****

Edward woke up the following morning much calmer than he was the previous night. He was still upset but he believed he knew Janice well enough to know that she lacked the capacity to deliberately hurt someone. He could only conclude that, maybe, she never saw him as anything more than a friend and as such had not been keen on pursuing anything beyond that. 

It was up to him now to show her, they belonged together. She may not want anything more than friendship from him, but he was determined to make her fall in love with him. 

*****

Edward spent the day wondering about how he would go about wooing Janice. He couldn't just walk up to her and ask her out but he needed some excuse to spend time with her. He found his answer in the least expected place, when he ran into Dara that day.

Dara excitedly rambled on, letting Edward know that Janice was taking him out for dinner on Saturday as she was "eager to make amends," he quoted her as saying, for the way the weekend had turned out.

Dara's little news made Edward realize that he would have to win Janice's affection before her relationship progressed any further, which meant that he had to take some action before the clock ran out on him that Saturday.

*****

Yvonne kept her word to Edward and didn't tell Janice about her break-up. However she was hurting and needed to share with someone, so she called her mother. 

Martha was shocked. Like Edward, she couldn't understand why the girls had chosen to mess things up by lying to him. She felt bad for Yvonne, who she knew was experiencing her first heartache. She'd never met Edward before but, from what Yvonne had told her, it looked like it was a good thing they chose to part ways. Her daughter deserved someone who would love her for who she was.




More than Friends: Ch. 05



The more Martha heard the back-story to how Yvonne and Edward came to be a couple, the more she was struck by a singular thought.

"If he's been in love with her all this time, how has she remained unaffected?"

"I don't know, Ma. Jan assured me, she never thought of him as anything other than a friend."

"Was this when she met you two?"

"No, this was when she was in France. We'd just started dating and I asked her if she was okay with it. I told her if there was anything between them I would step away."

"What was her response?"

"She said she was just surprised by the development but had no problem with it."

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"She came back, met the two of you and then showed up home looking all upset and withdrawn."

"Are you still on that?"

"Yes, because it didn't make sense, none of the explanations you gave have made sense to me, till now."

"Till now?"

"Yes. It's quite possible that Janice was in love with him but didn't realize it till she saw the two of you together. That's why she came home!"

"I think you're being melodramatic."

"No darling. I think our Jan's been in love."

"Do you really think so?"

"Mmhmm."

Yvonne mulled over her mother's conclusions.

"I've made a mess of things, haven't I?"

"I don't think you're to blame here, not that I blame her either."

"What now? Should I say or do something?"

"No, best let those two work things out on their own."

*****

The following day Edward took an extra hour for lunch and drove out to the construction site he knew Janice was supposed to be working at. Along the way he picked up a couple of boxed lunches, using it as an excuse to drop by. His office was close enough not to raise any suspicions on her part about the intent of his unannounced visit. 

Edward was asked to wait for Janice in the site office as Janice was busy with inspections, he was informed. The windows in the office offered him a good view of the site. Even from a distance, he was able to recognize Janice's feminine form in the midst of all the hard hats. She moved with a quiet confidence that distinguished her as the one in charge even though she was so much smaller than those around her. 

As she turned to walk towards the site office, laughing and talking to one of her colleagues, it struck him that he had never really heard her laugh so freely before. He loved the sound of it and made a silent vow to make sure she had plenty of reasons and occasions to reproduce that wonderful sound. 

Janice was almost there when she saw Edward inside the office, casually leaning against the desk, through the open doorway. She wasn't surprised to see Edward; she assumed Yvonne had sent him to apologize on her behalf. After all, Janice had yet to hear from her after the night she told Edward about Janice's childhood crush on him.

Edward noted her changed demeanor- the ease in her movements had been replaced with stiffness. She was not happy to see him. He held up the parcels of food in his hand.

"I come in peace."

Yup, she thought to herself, definitely Yvonne's goodwill ambassador. Janice smiled at him and motioned for him to sit on the couch located at one end of the private office. They immediately got to talking about Janice's current project as they settled down, to eat. 

Edward was so captivated by the animated manner in which she was explaining all that her firm had managed to accomplish in the past few days, he forgot about his plan to make Janice crazy about him. When it came down to it, he realized that he really wasn't sure how to go about wooing a woman. 

He'd never chased down women in the past. If he liked anyone, he asked them out and let things flow naturally. He didn't know how to get Janice to see him as something more than a friend short of seducing her. He smiled to himself at the thought, maybe, that was just what he needed to do.

They were almost through with lunch and Edward hadn't made any move yet. He wasn't sure exactly what it was he was supposed to do. He couldn't just pounce on her and kiss her out of nowhere and risk scaring her. He wished he'd paid closer attention to Dara in the past, as he realized he didn't have any experience in seduction either. 

It's so much easier for a woman, they just have to bend over to pick up something and they've got our attention.

It dawned on him that maybe he didn't need to do something to grab her attention. Maybe all he needed was to let her know that he had hers, so that she could start thinking of him differently.

"Can I ask you something personal?" he asked lowering his tone.

"Sure." 

"Why are you still a virgin?"

Janice was caught so off-guard by the question that she had a coughing fit. Edward watched her face go red and thought she was choking on the piece of chicken she was eating at the time. He pulled her up against his body and proceeded to administer the Heimlich maneuver. It was only when he felt her struggling to get out of his grip did he recognize his mistake. Unfortunately her wriggling her bottom against him had the undesirous effect of giving him an erection. As he let her go he hoped that as a virgin she wouldn't understand what it was.

"Yves really needs to learn to shut up." 

"Actually, she wasn't the one who told me."

Janice looked at him confused for a whole minute before she deduced that his source must've been Dara.

"My sex life is nobody's business."

"You're right. I just had to ask because I couldn't understand why."

"Why?"

"Why I couldn't understand?"

"No, why do you wish to understand?"

"I watched you." he spoke slowly and waited for her to make eye contact.

"What do you mean?"

"That day, when you found those pots outside your apartment ... I was the one who left them there. I had to leave in a hurry, before you caught me."

"I don't understand."

"I entered your apartment and I watched you, out on your terrace." 

He drew out his words wanting to watch her expressions as she slowly made the connection. 

"I watched you lying on the bench with your hand under your skirt. I saw you play with yourself --"

Janice's eyes went wide and her heart started racing. Overwhelmed by embarrassment she, thoughtlessly, cupped her hand over his mouth in an attempt to make him stop. 

"- till you came." he finished, despite the hand on his mouth. 

Seeing that he wasn't going to stop she started to pull her hand away only to find his fingers wrapped around her wrist, drawing her close to him. His face was dangerously close to her own, as she looked at him wide-eyed puzzling over what he was doing and why.

"Do you know what I was doing at the time?"

She opened her mouth to speak and found it had gone dry- no sound seemed to come out. She shook her head in response, hoping to snap awake.

"I was wishing you had opened your blouse further so I could see your nipples."

He looked down the opening of her blouse as if he was trying to do the same right now.

Unconsciously, Janice licked her lips. She was sure that she was having some kind of wet dream about Edward that she was going to wake up from any minute now. 

Edward took it as a good sign that she had not slapped him as yet. He wanted to push her but did not want to cross any lines.

"I thought I ought to tell you because," he spoke huskily, "I probably shouldn't think like that about a friend, right?"

"Probably not." Janice was shocked at how hoarse her voice sounded. She licked her lips again, wondering why her throat felt as parched as it did.

Edward sighed dramatically.

"In that case it's probably really bad for me to imagine what you must-"

Janice yelped, when they were suddenly interrupted by someone knocking on the office door. She pulled away from Edward and went to speak with the messenger who had arrived with a parcel from Turner, her boss.

Edward noticed the time and made to leave. He had already gone much further than he had expected to. He didn't want to end up coming across like some sleazy player. So, he let her know he needed to leave and smiled warmly at her as he thanked her for her company before he took off.

Janice tried to steady her heartbeat. What the heck was that, she asked herself. Edward's behavior was nothing short of bizarre and it made her want to call Yvonne, to check if everything was okay with them, but, upon recalling her resolution not to contact Yvonne till she apologized for her behavior, she didn't.

The only thing on Janice's mind for the rest of that week was that for whatever confounding reason, Edward had come on to her.

*****

Edward was surprised when he walked into the kitchen early Saturday morning and found Yvonne waiting for him there with a cup of coffee in hand. He wasn't angry with her anymore but the sight of her was still a painful reminder of how he'd spend more than a year of his life with the wrong woman simply because of a complicated case of mistaken identity. He didn't really blame her for the way things had turned out but didn't consider her completely blameless either. Still, there was no point in telling her that- especially since she'd got burnt as well. 

If things had been easier between them during their time together, he may have still considered staying with her, but they weren't. Once the initial novelty of sex with an attractive woman wore off, there really wasn't anything there for them to hold on to. For too long he had been blinded by his love, for the woman he believed her to be, to see the faults in their relationship. 

Ever since Yvonne let him in on the big secret, he deliberately avoided her; which wasn't difficult at all considering their schedule. He attempted a feeble smile as he took the cup of coffee, a symbolic offering of peace, from her.

"How have you been?" Yvonne asked him tentatively.

"Okay, I guess."

"I am, truly, sorry." 

He watched her face and could see she was sincerely contrite. He nodded in acknowledgement. What could he have said, that it was okay? 

"I'm looking at a couple of places today, so if I find something I like, I should be out soon."

He nodded again, while sipping on his coffee.

"How's Jan? I haven't spoken to her this week- I wasn't sure if I wouldn't end up saying something to her."

"Thank you for respecting my wishes ... She's well, I suppose. That's what I heard from Dara, anyway. He talks to her, regularly. They've even got a big date tonight." he said bitterly.

After his success in Janice's office, he began to have doubts about his manner of approach. What if she thought he was a pervert or a scumbag cheat for him talk the way he did when he was, as far as she knew, her best friend's boyfriend. What if she had already fallen for Dara and wanted him, did he really feel right injecting himself between them knowing that Dara had come to genuinely care for and possibly even love Janice? He'd spend the last two days feeling torn between what he wanted to do and doing what was right. 

Yvonne watched Edward with his head hung and shoulders hunched over, even as imperceptive as she was, she could see that he appeared to be losing a battle with his inner demons. Since they were talking about Janice at the time, she thought she could safely guess at what must be going through his head at the time. She remembered her mother's wise words and tried not to meddle, well, not completely anyway.

"You want to be with Jan, right?"

Edward gave her a pained look and stared at the ground before him as he nodded.

"I don't know what's happened or understand what's happening. What I do know is that apart from me, you're the only friend she held on to. Incredibly you're the only boy she ever had a crush on. And then, she kept her continued friendship with you a secret from me, as if she wanted to keep you all to herself."

"Yeah, but then you also have to remember that she let me stay in a relationship with her friend, even though she knew I was with her only because of this whole identity confusion. And she's looking to take things to the quote next level unquote with Dara."

"Fuck!"

"That would be the summation of it."

"You can't give up on her Eddie."

"I can't?"

"No!"

"Didn't you hear what I just said? She knows I'm in love with her, as in the woman I have been friends with since I was a kid. She chooses to mislead me into thinking you are her. Clearly, she doesn't feel the same way about me as I do her. So, am I supposed to force myself on her? I mean, I can't even think of a good excuse to meet her." 

There was a minute's silence before Yvonne spoke.

"But, I can."

She then mysteriously left the kitchen without another word, leaving Edward behind wondering about what she meant.

*****

Edward's phone beeped in the afternoon with a text from Yvonne.

 

He texted her back wondering what was going on, but there was no response from her and he didn't run into her for the rest of the day so when evening came, he got ready and headed to the restaurant. He wasn't a vain man, but he did spend a great deal of time on shaving himself and getting dressed than he usually would. He was nervous as he couldn't help shake off the feeling that this may be his one chance to set things right. 

*****

Edward watched Janice walk in through the doors wearing an emerald green silk dress with detailed work around the middle that drew attention to her small waist. She had her hair up in a twisted bun with her bangs left unstyled to frame her face. Of course he didn't notice any of those details, to him she just looked dressed in a way that would make anyone want to throw themselves at her feet and worship her body.

Janice looked at Edward quizzically when he walked up to her and held out his arm. 

"I'm supposed to be meeting Dara." she said even while she took his arm and allowed him to walk her to their table.

Edward noticed how willingly she came with him even though he had yet to offer her any explanation. It was just the boost his confidence needed.

"Dara can't make it tonight."

"He can't?"

Edward shrugged and took the menus from their waiter. He watched Janice closely, if she was disappointed about Dara not showing up, he couldn't see it. They went through dinner pleasantly talking about their interests and their day to day activities as if both had forgotten that he had come on to her the last time they met. 

Janice was thoroughly confused by Edward's recent behavior but she was enjoying herself too much in his company to bring up any awkward topics of conversation. He kept telling her silly jokes and making her laugh. She'd never seen him so relaxed and every time he smiled at her he seemed genuinely happy. He was also exceptionally clumsy that evening. More than once he managed to get his chocolate desert on his face, the sight of which made her laugh before she'd wipe it off with her fingers. If she didn't know better, she would've thought he was doing it deliberately, just to get her to touch him. 

Both friends were practically giddy and their faces hurting from the amount they'd smiled and laughed through dinner as they made their way up to Janice's apartment. It was only when they were finally inside that Edward suddenly became serious. 

Janice was still laughing and in the midst of taking off her shoes- her foot raised as she was in the process of unbuckling the strap- when she noticed the marked change in his manner. He was looking at her with an intensity that made her feel very exposed. His gaze unwavering, he strode up to her and placed his hands on her waist. She'd managed to finally get the shoe off but because the other one was still on she felt unbalanced. She placed her hands on his arms to steady herself.

Edward was taking things one step at her time, watching her responses to make sure he wasn't upsetting her with any of his actions. He sighed in relief to feel her lean into him instead of moving away when he held her. He lowered his head and held himself close to her waiting for her to close the distance between them. 

"Eddie, what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Why?" she stammered.

"Because, I really want to." he spoke breathily, "Don't you want to?" 

He held her chin between his fingers and gently nudged it so that her mouth was directly below his. All she would have to do was stretch her neck a little and they would make contact.

As Janice felt his warm breath crash against her own, she told herself she had stepped into some fantasy, for here was the man she'd loved for most of her life finally holding her and waiting to kiss her. But she hadn't forgotten one important detail.

"We can't."

"Not what I asked, Jan."

She knew she should step away from his arms but she was immobilized not so much by his arms as by his gaze that made it hard for her to even look away.

"I ..."

"Yes?" he asked and let his hands slip around her waist to the small of her back, drawing her closer against his body. She felt so soft and good in his hands that he was struggling to restrain himself.

She drew a sharp breath as she felt herself being drawn against his hard body. It didn't take a great deal of imagination to tell what was poking her in the stomach.

"Eddie, I ... I don't want to hurt Yves."

She said, finally managing to look away. She leaned her head against his chest as if she'd grown weak from the effort of refusing him.

"Okay. Can I ask you something, Jan, especially since you never answered me the other day?"

"Yes." she replied feebly without shifting from the comfort of his embrace.

"Why haven't you been with any man all these years?"

His voice was soft and the tone soothing.

"I was just waiting for the right person." she spoke into his chest quietly.

"Who is the right person?"

"Someone I feel comfortable with." 

By now Janice felt like she was under some kind of spell, wrapped up as his was in Edward's arms and scent. She found herself responding to his questions without giving them any thought. 

Edward kissed the top of her head before he whispered into her ear.

"Are you comfortable, sweetheart?"

"Yes." she said snuggling against him.

"Jan," Edward said pulling away from her, "I'm going to kiss you now and I need you to slap me hard if you don't want me to."

He gave her a moment to let what he'd said sink in. When she made no move to hit him he pulled her close against him once more and without waiting any further he pressed his lips to hers. At first it was gentle as he waited for her to respond, but when he felt her hands wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to her, he lost some of his restraint. He kissed her passionately, his hands running up and down her back eager to do much more, as his tongue danced with hers. 

He stopped and pulled his head back for fear of taking things too far too soon. She was panting and grinding her body against his, her eyes looked dark with desire and her lips were swollen from their kissing. He could see her skin flushed and her nipples poking through her clothes. She wanted him, there was no mistaking it. He knew he could've taken her then and there if he wanted to.

"Jan, you want me?"

"Yes." she replied hoarsely.

"Well, I'm not easy. You're not getting the milk for free."

Janice's lust addled brain was having a hard time making sense of what he was saying.

"Huh?"

"I'm saying you'll have to buy the cow first." he said while reaching for something in the pocket of his jacket.

Janice still couldn't follow Edward and looked at him go down on his knees.

"What?"

"I'm saying that you can only have me if you marry me."

She would've thought she misheard him, but, there he was, down on his knees, ring in hand, asking her to marry him. Janice shook her head once, then twice. Then she started laughing hysterically and went quiet just as suddenly, wondering about her own sanity, while he patiently waited for her answer.




More than Friends: Ch. 05



"I need to sit down." 

Janice walked shakily to the couch and sat down heavily. She watched Edward get up and come sit near her on the couch, the ring still held between his fingers. She couldn't understand what was going on- one minute Edward was holding her, kissing her and then the next he was pushing her away and flashing a diamond engagement ring. She had so many questions she didn't know where to start.

Edward watched her obvious confusion. After all, as far as she knew he was still with her best friend. But he didn't want to say anything to her till he had heard how she felt about him. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her into his lap, forcing her to straddle his thighs and face him- he needed to face her and feel her in his arms.

He interlaced his fingers with hers on either side of her body and pressed his forehead against hers. 

"Jan, do you care about me?"

"Yes, of course."

"Do you enjoy spending time with me?"

"Yes, always."

"I'm going to kiss you again, okay."

Without waiting for a response he captured her mouth with his and kissed her hard till he had her breathless and writhing on top of him before he pulled away again.

"Do you want me?" he asked while suggestively thrusting his hips against her and planting little kisses down her neck.

"Yes." she moaned.

"Then," he said, halting all movements till she looked into his eyes, "marry me."

Considering how well things had progressed so far, Edward was not ready for what happened next. Janice burst into tears and made to run away. He managed to wrap his arms around her, before she could, and pulled her to him. He stroked her back while cooing in her ear in an attempt to calm her. 

Janice's emotions had been running a little high all evening. She couldn't comprehend why Edward was saying and doing the things he was when he was still involved with Yvonne, but her feelings for him were so strong that she felt completely overwhelmed by the situation.

"Eddie, I can't make sense of any of this but there's something I have to tell you." she said through her tears.

"I've loved you for so long that I can't even remember a time I wasn't in love with you. This'' sound like nonsense to you since you think we've only just met after all these years."

She began by telling him, how she started writing to him when Yvonne grew bored. She went on to tell him about everything that followed right up to the point where Yvonne asked her to continue to keep her secret.

"You had always been in love with Yves and here she was, telling me that she was falling for you. What was I supposed to do? I hadn't even figured out my own feelings for you till then. So, I just kept quiet and watched you two together."

"Christ Jan! I had a crush on Yves as a kid; I have not been in love with her. I wouldn't have ever gotten into a relationship with her if I knew it was you all along."

He saw she scared her with the way he just spoke but they needed to clear some things between them soon.

Janice pulled away from his embrace and looked him in the eye.

"The way you so easily jumped into a relationship with her as soon as you met her told me otherwise. If I was special to you, I was certain you would've spotted that Yves is nothing like the girl you used to share all your hopes and dreams with. You should've been able to recognize that I was exactly that girl, but you didn't."

She had him there. He'd also unwittingly played a role in making their lives miserable. The only silver lining was that at least now he knew that she loved him and wanted him and this wasn't just a one sided affair.

"Yves and I are no longer together. She told me about your secret earlier this week ... The funny thing is that even before she told me I was meaning to talk to her about how our relationship couldn't continue."

Janice looked at him confused. 

"Even before ... Why?"

"Why? Because of you, you li'l minx. I've wanted you for so long but never acted on it because I didn't want to cheat on Yves- you know, the woman I thought I was supposed to be in love with. So while I was angry as hell when I first found out about all of this I was also greatly relieved."

"Relieved?"

"Yes, relieved because I can entertain all my dirty thoughts about you and still return to the arms of the woman I love without feeling guilty about it."

"You have dirty thoughts about me?" she asked him smiling.

"God, yes!" he groaned.

"Will you tell me?" she asked him shyly. 

"Tell you? I have every intention of acting on them. Provided of course, you agree with the terms I offered you at the start."

"You really want to marry me? This isn't just a dream?"

He playfully pinched one of her nipples through her dress.

"Ow!"

"See, not a dream." he said, smiling mischievously. 

"That hurt." she pouted.

"I can kiss it better, if you like." he said as he gently rubbed his thumb against the erect nub.

She hissed in response and found herself getting further aroused by the prospect of feeling his lips around her aching nipples. But there was still something left to discuss.

"But, what about Yves? She does really love you, you know."

"Yes, but she gets how I feel about you and she is being an adult about it ... I don't think tonight would've been possible if not for her meddling."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know the details exactly but she's responsible for Dara not showing up this evening and me turning up instead."

"Hmmm ... She called me earlier this evening. She said she was sorry for not being as good a friend to me as I've been to her. She told me that when I go out tonight I should just do whatever makes me happy."

"And what makes you happy?"

"You do. Being like this with you does. But being able to call you my husband will make me happiest."

"Are you saying that you're willing to be something more than friends?" he teased.

"I'm saying put that ring on my finger and kiss me already."

*****

 Dear Readers,

Hope you enjoyed this story. I like the way it ends right now, but I have an idea for an epilogue. So somewhere down the line don't be surprised if I end up adding another chapter. Share your thoughts through your comments and feedback mails and if you've read the entire chapter, make sure to vote.

Subdued_Passion



More Than Friends Ch. 05



"Don't worry," she said. "When summer comes, we'll find time for me to come over and take a shower with you. They tell me," she added, her eyes twinkling, "that having your lover in the shower can be very entertaining."

He grinned at her.

A little bit to his surprise, they actually did do homework: he had a term paper to work on, and she spread out on the floor with her history textbook, after a few disparaging comments at his hygeine habits and a short session with a broom. Colin, never a fastidious cleaner, realized he would have to develop a few new habits. But once she had a clear space, she did settle down and study; and so did he. It took him a little while to understand it, but he eventually realized that they were trying to set a new precedent for themselves. They had already declared that there was almost no limit to the amount and quality of sex they would share; now they were trying to back away from that, to prove that their relationship was not completely centered on that level of decadence, that their friendship hadn't been lost somewhere in the tangle of limbs and genitals. Colin was pleased that it hadn't.

The afternoon passed in this way. Group study sessions were somewhat uncommon among them, since all three were introverted over their homework, but Colin, Adam and Heather had spent no small number of afternoons in each other's company, talking, chatting, laughing and, occasionally, actually doing homework.

"It feels a little weird without Adam," Heather observed, but neither made an effort to contact him. This time was theirs.

Eventually Heather looked up, having finished her reading and outlining and note-taking, to see that several hours had passed. Colin had reached a conclusion some time ago and was playing Solitaire on his computer. She put her book down and moved over to him, wrapping her arms around his chest. "So, now what," she asked.

He shrugged. "I dunno. We've got a few hours. I'm sure there's something we could do."

It was late enough that they felt a little hungry, so they decided to go for their evening meal, this time a little more dignified. When they returned, they still didn't have any real idea of how to pass the time. A dorm room is not the best place to entertain guests. He slumped on the bed, feeling at loose ends.

She sat down in his lap. It was a slightly lopsided fit, they being much of a height, but he wrapped his arms around her without complaint. She rested her head on the top of his.

"Would I be right in guessing that you'd kind of like to stay away from sex for the time being," she asked.

"Yeah," he said. "I mean, like, I'm basically addicted to you now." A smile to show he meant no harm by that. She took no offense; she was hooked on him as well. "I'd kind of like to get to the point where I'm not addicted and horny, which is probably an even worse state to be in."

She smiled at him. "You're my hero." She had no idea what she meant by that, but she did mean it.

They held each other for a while, sitting there soaking up each other's presence. No other boyfriend of hers had made such a big deal of simply holding her. Hugs had been rare in her lifetime. She knew the same was true for him. He was very sensitive to the tactile; touch and sound were just as important to him as sight, a rarity in today's visually-oriented world. He could see just fine, and he had his music to protect him, but who gave him hugs? Nobody, save his few fruitless relationships, and now Heather herself. So she held him, and let him drink in the sensations, and felt happy and protected in his arms.

After a while, she worked her hand under his shirt and started to pull it off. When he started to protest, she said, "Oh, come on, you know it's gonna happen eventually. Besides," and she hesitated, not sure how he would take this, "I like the skin contact. It's more fun without all these clothes on." He didn't object to that, and she felt emboldened.

She stood up and took off her shirt, revealing a simple white cotton bra, and then removed her pants and underclothes. Across from her, Colin divested himself of his garments, until finally they stood before each other, naked as the day they were born.

He blinked at her. "Well... Now what?"

"I dunno, what do you want to do," she asked. She felt hesitant of making a decision for some reason.

"I just want to hold you," he said.

"Does that mean no sex," she asked.

He shook his head. "It's not exclusionary. I'm okay with anything, but if there's one thing I definitely want to do, it's hold you for a while."

They lay down on the bed, spooning under the covers, his chest against her back. His arm wrapped around his waist, and she laid her own arm atop it. For some reason, he was not really thinking of sex at all, and after a few minutes passed, as they breathed and held each other, it became clear that she wasn't either. She wondered why they had gotten so solemn, and after a few moments, the reason came to her.

"I'm sad," she said.

"Hrm?"

"Because it has to end soon. Because I'll have to go home and the weekend will be over and we won't get another chance like this for... God, maybe forever. I mean, we'll meet during the summer, but... It'll be different. It won't be the same. It'll be in one of our houses and we'll have to worry about sisters and parents and-- ...It'll just be different."

He drew himself closer to her, comforting her with his presence.

"I mean... You know? It'll be sad," she said. "Because it won't be the same."

"Maybe it'll be better," he offered.

"I dunno," she said. "Everything just looks so bleak from here."

She could not put it in words, wasn't even sure she understood why she felt so bad. But she thought it had something to do with the weekend itself. The last twenty-four hours had been heaven: she had found love, she had had probably the best sex in her life, several times, and she had spent it all with someone who was increasingly beginning to look like the man of her dreams--sensitive and rational and wise and not afraid to be different. He would open doors for her and be just as comfortable if she opened them for him. There was not a lot more she could ask for. And this weekend had been filled with the wonder of discovering it all for the first time--his cock, his hands on her breasts, his lips on her pussy--or, in some cases, rediscovering it all, like his smile, his eyes, the innate gentleness of his hands. She took one of those hands in her own now, turning it over in front of her eyes, kissing the palm. He had a large hand, but not disproportionately so, with long capable fingers and a light down of hair on the back. He had played piano for several years; he had taken karate lessons for far longer. Neither seemed inappropriate for that hand.

She had discovered, rediscovered, this man over the course of their night and day together. She had fallen in love with him. For a short time, she had had him all to herself. And now that time would end.

What was she so afraid of? Did she think he would find someone else? That was unlikely. She loved Colin with all her heart, but she also knew he was hardly the charmer type. No one flung themselves at him. Beneath the surface, he was one of the most interesting people she had ever met, but he was quiet and reserved in public. His first impressions, she knew, tended to be that he was not a person of any great consequence. Before anyone gets to know you, you have to look interesting, and that was something Colin was not good at doing. No, was afraid to do, really. She didn't want to try and untangle why he felt that way. He had tried to explain it once, and it had left her completely mystified. But the idea of someone picking him up was, in short, patently absurd.

Was it because she thought he would lose interest in her? That too was doubtful. By his own admission, he had been in love with her for basically as long as he had known her, which was the greater part of his life. Now he had her. He wouldn't abandon her any time soon. Unless she had read him completely wrong. He wasn't one of those fuck-and-run types, was he? It would be hard to find out, since she had been his first fuck. She'd just have to wait and see. But she seriously doubted it. Humor was in his nature, but dishonesty and frivolity were not. He took his friends and his loved ones seriously. Discarding a fourteen-year friendship in favor of a night of sex was not something she would ever expect from him.

Was it, then, simply because their time together was coming to an end? Had he truly become such an integral part of her heart? They would only be busy for three weeks, and surely there would be time for phone calls, for e-mails, maybe even for short visits to re-enact the events of this time in frantic abandon. Surely he had not become so important to her, surely not this quickly.

But she still had the feeling that it was the end of an era, one she would miss when it was gone. An era of light, of carefree happiness, of freedom. They could probably never be this unrestrained again--at least, not for a long time. And that was cause to mourn.

She sighed, turned over in his arms, clung to him. "Hold me. I feel cold."

He did. And when she cried--just a little--he kissed the tears from her face.

"Feeling better now," he asked when she had finished.

"Yeah," she said. "Kinda. I just... I dunno."

"Well, neither do I, but... It seems kind of pointless to be sad right now. We still have some time together. We should just... Enjoy having each other."

She blinked at him, wondering if he had caught the double entendre.

"Enjoy ourselves," he corrected, his brow furrowing. "Enjoy each other. Enjoy being together. Enjoy... Goddammit, how come everything I say has a double meaning right now?"

"Twisted and depraved is the mind of Colin Watson," Heather intoned, and then surprised herself by bursting into giggles.

"No, but seriously, I never have this problem normally, even when you're around me," he said. "And we're holding each other," he amended. "And we're naked. And I'm poking you down there. And--"

"Hell of a lot of amendments to that one," she laughed, and he broke into a smile as well.

"No, but honestly, Colin," she said. "This does interest me. Why aren't... I mean, we went over this before. I seem to be the sexually charged one nowadays. What about you, what do you think? How come I'm the active one here?"

He thought about it for a little while. "Well, it's not that I don't want to have sex with you. I'd be lying if I said that. But, at the same time... I don't want that to be all we do. I don't just want to think of you sexually and then nothing else. I want more than that. And you deserve more than that. You're not just a sex object."

"I can be, if you want," she said, a wicked grin on her face.

He shook his head. "No. We'll have sex, and maybe we'll have a lot of sex, and we'll enjoy it. But you're a woman, Heather, not just some receptacle that I can fuck. If I wanted one of those, I'd just buy one of those inflatable love doll things. I don't want that. I want you."

"Inflatable love doll," she asked.

"You've never heard of them?"

"No."

"Seriously? I'd think you'd have... Well, they're like those plastic pool floater things, except that they're in the shape of a woman. And they have pussies."

"Real ones?"

"Goodness no, fake ones. But they tell me they can do remarkable things with silicone these days."

She shook her head, laughing. "The things people think of."

He gave her a wry smile. "You ain't seen nothin' yet. There's a company on the Internet that makes, not really love dolls, but more like store mannequins. Solid latex, fake hair, pussies, realistic faces, fully moveable joints, the whole works. Sells for like five thousand dollars online."

Heather shook her head, marvelling. "Modern technology at its finest. Do they have a guy one?"

"I dunno, probably. Why, thinking of replacing me with one?" He grinned.

She laughed. "Why would I do that? Latex doesn't tell me how much it loves me. Still, though. You kinda gotta wonder what kind of person would buy that. I mean, what kind of person can't get out and get laid?"

"Don't look at me," he said. He was conscious of the irony of the statement. Until twenty-four hours ago, he had been one of those people--though he had never been desperate enough to buy a five-grand silicone sex puppet. "I wouldn't care one way or another, anyway. I've got all I need right here." He tightened his arms around her.

She gave him a secret smile. "Your very own love doll?"

He kissed her tenderly. "Emphasis on 'love.'"

She smiled. "There. I don't feel depressed anymore."

"Well, that makes me happy," he said.

She thought about it as they cuddled--his words, his resistance to sex to make sure she felt valued for more than her pussy. He had gone on the warpath when she once used the word 'cunt' in reference to her vagina; he thought it was more offensive than 'fuck.' She appreciated the thought, but at the same time, a little part of her was frustrated. Heather had never taken a real interest in sex until she realized how important guys thought it was, and then it became a tool that she could use, a source of power over them--especially given her looks. But after her fumbling experiences with sex, first with Trent and then later fooling around by herself, she had discovered a primal, sensual part of herself that loved sex, that lived for nothing but and was satisfied with nothing but someone's cock ramming into her pussy as she groaned and squealed, bucking back at him hungrily, wanting more. She had learned to cover that part of herself from prying eyes, as a woman shields her private parts with her hand, because she realized that it could be used against her, to tarnish her reputation. And in any case, sex with previous boyfriends hadn't been that satisfying anyway.

The irony, then, was that with Colin, she didn't feel ashamed at admitting that she loved it, flat out, she loved fucking, and would probably take him any time he wanted her. She didn't feel ashamed for herself, but she knew that others would expect her to be ashamed for liking sex, or be shocked that she wasn't ashamed, or be appalled that she liked sex in the first place. And so she hid, until she could find someone who didn't judge, who accepted what he saw. And that was Colin. Except that now that she had found him, as it turned out, he was practically doing his best to be celibate! What sort of luck was that?

But then she thought about what Colin had said. Her first experience had been with Trent, when she was fifteen and a sophomore and he was already on the way to the breakdown that would lead to his overdose and eventual confinement to rehab. He had been insistent, had refused to take no for an answer. She didn't think of it as rape, because it he had been completely zoned out, his actions and reactions blurred by the drugs in his system. And what he wanted to do was caress her boobs, stroke her clit, bring her to orgasm (and then fuck her). It was a tricky line to walk, but she honored his intentions; he had been hoping to do something for her that she would enjoy, and she appreciated the spirit of the offer, even if the offer itself was displeasing. And it had felt good, what he did--very good, in fact. But she still hadn't been sure she wanted him to do it. It had been a very confusing experience.

Later, experimenting on her own, she decided that she would let him do it again, but he had better ask first. She wasn't just there to be fondled at his beck and call. And from that point on, she had made it clear to her other boyfriends that No meant No. (She never really had another encounter with Trent, just some vague petting.) Not that she had said No very often, but when she said it, she made certain they listened.

Did she really want to be on call in that way? Did she really want to just be--how had he put it--some receptacle he could fuck? That had been what she was to Trent, and only the fact that somewhere, in his depression-and-heroin-deadened mind, he actually cared for her, had saved it from being a total disaster. Was that how she wanted Colin to treat her?

But Colin wouldn't treat her that way. She knew that, just as she knew that gravity pointed down, that the sun rose in the east and set in the west. Dishonesty and corruption were not in his nature. Even if she offered herself to him, any place any time and regardless of what she herself felt, he would not take advantage of her. He would be sweet, and considerate, and kind, and make love to her, not just have intercourse with her. What was that scientific term? Coitus. Would you say "coit" if you were trying to use it as an action word? Whatever the term was, he would not do it. She knew this with a conviction she could not explain, and didn't think she needed to. It was just a fact, immutable and unchanging, like the earth beneath her feet.

Colin had an encyclopedic memory for vocabulary, but she was pretty sure that if she asked him what the verb form of 'coitus' was, that dry, emotionless, scientific sex, he would not know the answer. She thought that was very appropriate. The word had no place in his vocabulary as it had no place in his life.

So, even if she offered, Colin would not take. But did she want to offer? Had she really offered to be nothing but a sex object? Did she really want to turn Heather Norwellyn into some sort of... Well, prostitute?

She knew the answer to that one.

She sighed contentedly and snuggled closer into his embrace. "What's on your mind," he asked.

She smiled up at him. "I was just thinking that you're right about this whole just-holding-each-other thing. In some ways, it beats sex any day."

He smiled back. "That doesn't mean I'm not horny. I just try to keep a sense of perspective."

"I know," she said. And now I have some, too.

"It's not that I want you to be, you know, completely out of control," she said, picking up her train of thought as though she had vocalized the rest of it. "I like it that you... Show restraint. That you don't let it get the better of you when you want to fuck me. It makes me feel respected."

He smiled, his heart lifting. "Well, I do my best."

"But at the same time, you know... It doesn't have to be so rigid and all."

"Really? I thought when it was soft, it doesn't get anywhere."

She stuck out her tongue at him. "That's not what I meant. I meant your self-control. There's such thing as having none... But there's such thing as having too much, too. I think you could stand to lighten up a bit."

He grimaced. "I don't know about that." He hesitated, considering. What he was about to say could land him in deep, deep water. Maybe it would be best to just skip it... But no, he rejected that course outright. Colin's nature was one of unending practicality; he knew he would have to face this particular conversation eventually, and if it could not be outrun, then it should be confronted. He drew a deep breath. "I lightened up once. With Selena. It turned out... Bad. We basically haven't spoken since."

She fell silent. She got the implications. "I... I hadn't known that."

"Well, it's not something I'm proud of."

"I thought you were... Didn't you say you were a virgin?"

"Yeah. We didn't actually do intercourse. But everything leading up to it. And I was... Insistent. Decisions were made, and later reversed." His face was slack and weary. "And then regretted."

She weas shocked. She had never suspected. She thought about Trent.

Instantly her mind rebelled. No, no, that's not the same at all! Colin isn't riding for a breakdown! He isn't out of his mind! He's a gentle, kind man, he doesn't do things like force himself on a--




More Than Friends Ch. 05



...Does he?

...Isn't that, in essence, what he's saying he did?

She realized her face must have shown some of her thoughts, because Colin sighed and said, "What do you want to hear, Heather?"

"The truth," she said, without thinking.

A faint smile lit his lips. "Yes, but about what? Specifically."

She looked at him, her face a strange mixture of fear and worry. "What you were thinking at the time?"

A grimace, this time. "That's easy, I wasn't thinking. Or, at least, not with the head that provides complex thought. I saw this thing I wanted, and I didn't give up until I had it."

"What did she say, exactly," she asked.

He felt inward relief. She was looking for a way out for him, and she had asked exactly the right question to give him one. "Well, first she said no," he said. "But then she changed her mind."

Heather blinked. "So... What was the problem? She said Yes."

"Well, later I found out that while she may have said yes, she meant no."

"Well, that's not fair," she said. "You're not telepathic, are you? If someone changes their mind like that..."

"Yes, but that isn't a fair attitude either," he said. "I've studied this since. There's a common... A myth, an archetype, for a successful seduction. Like, there's a specific script for it. The man wants it, and so does the woman, but she says she doesn't because that's what she's supposed to say. She has to look, you know, chaste and so on. It's the man's job to be persistent and erode her defenses and convince her to admit the truth. In the end, she stops saying no and says yes, and then they have their fun.

"The common scenario for date-rape is identical to that in all respects except one: the woman actually doesn't mean yes, and she changes her mind only because persuading him isn't worth the effort. It's an 'All right, if we have to, let's get this over with' reaction. In other words, in both situations, girls are supposed to resist, and then supposed to give in. But they don't always like it. And it creates a mess."

Heather wasn't sure what to say about that. It was a confusing tangle. "Yeah, but it's not your fault if she sent you mixed signals."

"No, it's not," he said. "But that doesn't change the fact that she was hurt, badly, because of my actions."

"Yes, but... If she's the one who changed her mind..."

"Yes, but it was still a failure on my part," he said, his voice no less iron for its lack of volume. "I want to be the kind of person who can pick up on what isn't being said, and react to it. Just as important, I want to be the kind of person who listens when a girl says No. And I wasn't.

"I don't care about blame, I don't care who's fault it is. What's important to me is that I be this kind of person. And I wasn't. The fact that she complicated the issue does not change the fact that I failed to do the things I should have."

And who, besides ourselves, can we possibly disappoint more by failing?

Heather was silent for a moment, ingesting all of it. She had always known his values, always known how strongly he adhered to them; and, because he was human, she had always known that he must have failed to stick to them at some point. But she had no idea it had been this... Disastrous.

"Did you guys ever come to... To some sort of peace about it," she asked.

His face fell. "We basically haven't spoken since."

"That's awful," she said, her throat constricting. To walk around with that sort of guilt...

"She made it clear that she didn't want to hear from me, and... Well, I mean, come on. I'd already done her a massive disrespect, how could I do anything else? I wrote her an e-mail apologizing as best I could, and that was that."

"That's awful," she said again.

"Well," he said, a resigned note in his voice. "There's a saying I picked up from a book somewhere: 'Take what you want, and pay for it.' I got what I wanted: an hour or two of oral sex. It wasn't worth the price, but I bought it. And so now I pay."

She hugged him tightly, squeezing her eyes closed against the thought of his guilt. How must it feel, knowing you have unwittingly done things to someone that are the stuff of nightmares? She was suddenly, intensely glad to be female. Later she would look back and wonder what she was thinking; which would be worse, to cause the nightmares or to have to suffer them? But at that moment, she was glad to not be the one who inflicted such suffering.

When she let go, he said, "I guess you're not scared off."

She laid a finger across his lips. "There are people who do bad things on purpose. And then there are people who do bad things accidentally. You fall into the second category. And you feel bad about it. You feel terrible about it. I don't think anyone could ask for a more appropriate punishment."

He nodded. "Yeah. But some might. I don't tell a lot of people, obviously, because they might get scared off."

She nodded. "It's a sore spot." Neither of them had said the word, rape, except for Colin that one time, but it hung over them in the air, coloring their silences, reverberating in its own absence.

"I hope you haven't had any experiences in this field," he said.

"Well," she said, not meeting his eyes.

She outlined the situation with Trent, giving him her thoughts on the matter. "I don't really blame him. It's not that I'm defending him, it's just... Well, what's the point? He did what he did. It could've gone better, it could've gone worse. I don't think he was aware of what he was doing and saying and hearing. I think that if he had been, he would have stopped. And I think he deserves credit for wanting to, you know, show me a good time." She sighed. "I used to be a little angry at him--you know, it was the first time anyone ever touched me down there, and... Shouldn't it have been under better circumstances? But eventually I realized there was no point in being angry. He was well-intentioned, in his way; things just didn't work out as well as they could have."

"Wow," he said. "Wish Selena would take lessons from you."

"I..." She hesitated now, feeling vulnerable. Well, she was in his arms, in his bed, and she was naked. He had made this admission to her in exactly that vulnerable state. Even more vulnerable: he had certain sensitive parts between his legs that she could have smashed, had that been her inclination. Yet he had gone on. Her respect for his bravery rose several notches.

"Well... I guess you don't think badly of me, then," she said.

He shook his head. "You didn't of me, it'd be damned hypocritical if I did of you. And if you aren't angry at him for mistreating him, who am I to be angry? And besides, if I was going to dislike him because he, you know, touched you down there, I'd have to be angry with everyone who's done that." He shook his head again, an ingenious smile spreading across his features. "There's just no future in being angry."

She giggled and nuzzled his face with his nose. "That's why I like you."

He held her tightly.

"I guess it's okay to you that I'm not perfect," she said.

"Have you ever seen Good Will Hunting? There's a line in there, I think it's Robin Williams: 'It's not a question of whether she's perfect, it's whether she's perfect for you.'"

She smiled up at him, feeling her heart lift. It was a sweet thing to say. "And what do you think?"

He looked at her for a moment, and then answered, completely honestly: "Well, aside from the impossibility of actually knowing anything, I'd say you're perfect for me."

She smiled.

"Of course," he continued, "things change. Things always do. That's why I try not to make blanket statements like this, because the day will probably come when I have to eat my words. So I guess there's this sort of undefined temporal limit on the statement. But--"

She was laughing. "Wait, undefined temporary what? You sound like Star Trek."

He grinned. "Learned technobabble from Geordi La Forge with the best of 'em."

"Well, explain it in plain English, please." She stuck out her tongue at him, grinning.

"Okay, well. When I say, 'You're perfect for me,' it's kind of like a coupon: there's an expiration date. Temporal means time, you know what a limit is, thus a temporal limit: a time limit. The thing is, I don't know when that expiration date is. It's undefined. So, when I say, 'You're perfect for me,' that statement will be true only until a certain point in time."

"When's that?" she asked.

"The day we break up," he said.

She shivered a little. Hopefully that day would be a long way off. How could he be so... Accepting? "Maybe we won't break up."

"Well, I'd like that, Heather," he said, his voice tender. "I do love you. I've been the happiest man alive since we got together. But... You know that relationships don't always work out."

He was right, of course. Even people deeply in love had broken up before. If she and Colin did, they wouldn't be the first. "So we can't hope?" she asked.

"Now that's ridiculous. Of course we hope. I know I won't stop. It would be such a... Well, wouldn't it be cool to be one of those fairy-tale situations where childhood sweethearts get married? And if someone gave me the choice of who was going to be my childhood sweetheart, it'd have to be you. Hands down. But that doesn't mean I should ignore reality."

"Isn't that hard," she asked. "Like, being hopeful in one hand and then--"

"Heehee. Shitting in the other?"

"What?"

"It's a saying I've heard. 'Wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one gets full the fastest.'"

"God. That's... Descriptive."

"It is. That's what makes it a good saying."

"Anyway. As I was saying. Isn't it hard, balancing hope and practicality like that?" She didn't know the extent of his hopes and dreams, but she knew his practicality--it was strong and intense. He kept himself grounded in reality. It was part of why she admired him.

He shook his head. "No, not really. I just... I don't mix them up. Yeah, I hope. I hope a lot. But I don't let that become part of my life. It's... You know, it's off to one side. Kind of like my fantasy life."

She giggled. "You have one?"

"You better believe it, hon. If you judged by that, I haven't been a virgin for years. But... I keep 'em separate. Like, if I'm fantasizing about having sex with somebody, I set up the situation so that it's contrary to reality. It really is a fantasy, because it never could happen, or it depends on things happening that never will. I try to make it as unrealistic as possible." He gave a small smile. "Like, back in eighth grade, I felt I could fantasize about you at will because in order for any of it to come true, you'd have to, you know, move back. Or at least contact me again." For her two years away, communication between her and Colin and Adam had abruptly shut off to nothing.

"Did you ever?"

"Oh? Actually, no, not really. I only really started thinking about it in eighth grade, and by then there was someone else to occupy my attention."

"Who?"

"Little chipper blonde girl by the name of Amanda. It took me until right at the end of the year to admit I liked her, and by that time she had already taken up with someone else. And it was more physical than anything else. We did hang out later, just the two of us, and we didn't get along very well. Not like we argued or anything, but we didn't connect either."

"So... What was the hinge on which your fantasies about Amanda revolved?"

He gave her a sardonic look. "That she'd start going out with me."

Heather giggled.

"Why do you care about my fantasy life anyway?" he asked, grinning.

"Well, you never know what you might discover," she said, teasing. "And so tell me, Colin, what was the magic ingredient in your fantasies about me?"

The smile faded off his face for a moment as he thought. He felt uncomfortable. "Well... Mostly that you'd, you know, stop running with the popular crowd and go back to the way you were before. And that you'd notice me."

"Basically what happened, then," she said quietly.

He nodded.

She wondered, momentarily, if this was a sign of some sort. Of what? That they were meant for each other? That Colin could see the future? That she had turned into the kind of person he wanted to be involved with? That last was obvious. Why else would they be involved now? She wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Well, dreams do come true, I guess," she said, forcing levity into her voice that she did not feel.

He frowned. She could get nothing past him. "What's wrong? Why so sad?"

"I dunno," she said honestly. "Give me a minute to work it out."

They fell silent as she sorted through her emotions.

"Colin," she said, "it's not really that I'm back to the way I was before. It wasn't a before thing. I've always been this way."

He said nothing, listening, waiting for her to continue.

"Don't think of my... The popularity thing wasn't like a phase or anything. It's part of who I am. I do like those kinds of things--you know, the boy bands and the designer clothes and all that stuff. It's kind of in a recession right now, but... That's part of me. Don't think that I've left it behind. I've just... Put it off to the side for a moment."

He nodded. "That works."

She blinked at him, tilted her head. "So? Reactions?"

He shrugged. "Adam's into that stuff too. I don't have a problem with him being that way. Don't see why I should have a problem with you."

She felt the vague dread melting away.

He smiled. "And don't worry, I retreat into shallowness too sometimes."

"Hey," she said, "it's not necessarily shallowness, it's just... Not-as-deep-ness."

He grinned and kissed her. "Fine, conceded."

"So, have we got everything figured out now," she asked him. "We've been talking for like an hour, and there's still other things I want to do."

"Things or people," he asked ingeniously.

"You never get tired of that pun, do you," she said, shaking her head with an amused smile.

"Sorry, it's my dad's fault. He loves bad puns."

She pre-empted any further conversation by kissing him, letting their tongues tease, running her hands over his back, through his hair. "That's enough talking," she said when they finished. "We'll have plenty of time for that later. But we don't have a lot of time now. So no more talking."

He gave her a saucy grin. "The Mad Talker, that's me. Can't make me stop talking. I talk as much as a... As an... Uh. I need a comparison."

"As someone who loves to hear the sound of his voice," she offered, grinning.

He stuck her tongue out at her, and so, as if it were the most obvious thing to do in the world, she kissed it. And finally he relented, and kissed her back. And for a while there was no more talk, as they kissed, lips on lips, bodies pressing together, their hands roaming each other's skin.

She broke off for a second, reached over his shoulder and rattled the box of condoms they had bought last night... All those ages ago. Most of them were still there. "Kind of a waste of money, weren't they?"

"Well, we could still use them," he offered.

"Hmm." She grinned at him seductively. "Would you like to use them?"

Instead of responding in kind, he said, "Actually, that'd probably be a good idea. Love doesn't equal safe sex."

"Well, there's always The Pill."

"Yeah, but what if it doesn't work? What if it works, you know, five times out of six or something? Well, we've done it six times. If it's the right part of your cycle..."

"All right," she said, "we'll go for it. Too bad, though," she said, putting on a pout. "I was really looking forward to the feeling of your hot cum filling my pussy."

His eyebrows jumped and she felt his cock jump precipitously against her stomach.

She giggled. "Looks like someone else likes the idea."

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, someone does. But he also loves you, and even if you enjoy it when I come inside you, it's not worth inflicting a risk of pregnancy on you."

"What's all this I stuff," she asked, a malicious grin on her face. "We're talking about that nameless he person."

He rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "He."

"In any case, it's not like we haven't risked it already."

He flushed a little, but grinned self-deprecatingly. "Okay, so I'm stupid. But nonetheless. Fine, if you want a working reason, I want to make this last."

"You win with that one," she said, grinning. "Strap that thing on, Tiger."

He got one and handed it to her. She burrowed beneath the covers; it was dim down there, and warm. His cock stuck up at her, begging for attention, and she reached out with lovingly ran her tongue across its surface area. She heard a muffled moan from above and the words: "That's not a condom."

She giggled. "Silly." She slid the rubber over his length and then came back up to kiss him. "All done. Ready?"

"Are you ready," he asked.

"Is that important," she asked him, beaming.

"What sort of prick do you think I am," he asked, rolling his eyes and grinning. "Lie down." He guided her onto her back and moved so that he lay beside her.

His hand slid over her body, roaming freely over her breasts, her stomach, her navel, her hips, her thighs, and he kissed her, his mouth open, drawing her into him. His hand slid across her breast and then rubbed against the nipple, and she pushed up against him as lightning lines of pleasure arced through her. He felt her nipple harden, perking up for attention. She moaned into his open mouth.

He transferred from her mouth to her breast, kissing in meandering lines between them, pushing the covers back to expose them. Meanwhile his hand caressed her flat stomach, spending time to tickle her navel, and then brushed across her mound and her trimmed pubic hair. She opened her thighs to his touch. He cupped his hand at her groin, found her already wet and wanting his touch.

With a sudden movement, she reached out and pushed the covers back, then flung her body out from under them, leaving herself exposed and him behind. Grinning, he emulated her and came back to her body, his tongue leaving damp trails across her breasts, his hand pressing into her mound, one of his fingers pressing against the bottom of her ass cleft. The heel of his hand was right on top of her clitoris, and she moaned at the pressure, pushing herself up to him. The smell of her sex began to fill the air, musky and arousing.

His fingers began their deft manipulations as his hand moved up and down over her slit, paying special attention to that hard, yearning bud at the top of her cleft. But when she felt him begin to slide inside her, she took his hand away. "No," she said, "only one thing goes in there." And she reached for his cock.

At her guidance, he moved to cover her, and she positioned his white-clad manhood at the entrance to her depths. In a single smooth movement, he slid inside her, feeling the indescribable warmth of her velvet embrace. She felt him open her up all at once, his member sliding into her womanhood, filling her passage and crevices, the tip just brushing her cervix, and she purred and pressed up to him. She wrapped her legs around his hips, knowing he loved them there, and smiled up to him and kissed him.

Supporting himself on his elbows, he began to move within her, and she rocked her hips in time with his motion, reaching up to take him. She ran her hands over his back, his buttocks, his hips, his flanks. She pulled him back down to kiss him as his cock moved inside her, sliding in and out, leaving her and opening her again. She loved the feel of him. The latex dulled things somewhat, but it didn't change the feeling of him being inside her, spreading her pussy lips, opening up her pussy until she felt engorged and satiated and that she couldn't take any more. She marvelled. She had had bigger than he, but she had never felt this... Penetrated.