0 comments/ 13162 views/ 2 favorites MC-125 Ch. 12 By: LordRaven Chapter 12 Samantha shut the door to her house and collapsed on it. The emergency board meeting was exhausting. A day trader had dumped nearly a third of their competitor's, GenenCorp, stock and the biotech market was in an upheaval. "Idiot," Samantha grumbled. GenenCorp itself took a major dive, much to Samantha's delight, but everyone else was affected as well because of the uncertainty it caused. Some investors thought it was the beginning of a trend so they pulled out. Others immediately changed teams and switched to Pharmtech because they believed it was isolated to GenenCorp. Regardless, the board saw fit to continue as planned since they only took a minor hit by dropping an eighth of a point from the ordeal. Samantha took a moment as she removed her pumps to look around her house. The bottom floor was quiet and empty. She padded up the steps and looked in on Brianna. The sight that greeted her made her sigh. John was curled up and competing for space with her daughter and her stuffed animals. Brianna's mane of untamed red hair haloed about her beautiful face. A stuffed bear peeped its head out from under the sheets as she held it in her sleep. Samantha took a moment to take in the peaceful sight. John really was something else. Samantha walked quietly to John and caressed his cheek. He stirred and looked at her and smiled. He looked down at her daughter and smiled at her too. Samantha helped him out of bed and tucked her daughter back in. Silently they walked down the stairs and Samantha headed for the kitchen. She hadn't had time for dinner and was famished. She found John's arms wrapped around her as she looked into the fridge. "We brought you some linguini in clam sauce, figuring you wouldn't stop for food and come straight home." She thanked him and fished out the tinfoil platters. "So how'd the evening go?" "I first went home for a quick shower and a change of clothes then picked her up from the baby-sitter. Then she held me up to change into something more appropriate for the restaurant." Samantha's eyes twinkled merrily at that; her daughter was precocious. "We had a great time. I told her about myself and she laughed at me when I told her I was going to sweep her mother off her feet as if it were something funny." It was Samantha's turn to laugh. "Hey, I was being serious." "I'm sure you were. What else?" "We came home and I had tea with her and her animals, she made me wear the hat with flowers by the way or I wouldn't get any tea, and then I told her another amazing tale about Baramut the troll. She was out like a light in minutes." John flipped through the cupboards and found the makings of some tea and brewed them a pot. "You have a wonderful daughter." "I know," Samantha replied as she dug into her dinner. "Oh, this is good." "One of my personal favorites." John watched her eat. They didn't say anything else all throughout her meal. They just looked at one another. "John, about earlier today," Samantha began as she cleaned up her meal. "I didn't expect that to happen. Things are spinning out of my control and I can't say that I like it." "I know," John replied. "Me too. Don't look at me like that. I didn't use my abilities on you to influence your thinking." "I didn't say that." "No, but you were thinking them; understandably so, too. I'm usually more in charge of my feelings but when I'm with you, especially when you're aggressive, I can hardly keep a thought straight in my mind." He reached out and caressed her cheek. "You're a strong and powerful woman, Samantha, and that attracts me. You attract me. Like I said before, we're bound to run into some snags but I think you're worth it. I think 'we' are worth it. I enjoy your company. You have strong opinions, many of which I agree on, but there's more to it than that. I admire you for who you are, your likes, your dislikes and everything in between. There's a lot more of you left for me to explore but I'll enjoy unraveling those mysteries one layer at a time. It can be frustrating sometimes, how you won't open certain aspects of your life, but when you do it makes it all the more precious. I think I may be falling for you." Samantha felt herself flush, her heart trembled at his words but she braced herself and didn't permit herself the need to leap into his arms and smother him with kisses. She was just talking about losing control and this was one of those moments. "You can be damnably frustrating sometimes. I don't want to like you. I don't want to fall for you or anyone for that matter. So why is it you always say the right things and make me want to forget that?" "Because I'm so charming?" He grinned. Samantha frowned. "Seriously, John. I like you and so does Brianna. But she doesn't know what it means to possibly lose someone." "Yes, she does." The words gave Samantha pause. "She knows she's supposed to have a father. Of course, she doesn't say anything but I see it. When I picked her up from the babysitter another couple was dropping their daughter off. I saw the question in her eyes. She knows there's something missing in her home. She knows she lost something important before she even had a chance to know what it was. So tonight I tried being that for her and I can't say that I can stop doing it. I'm falling for your daughter as much as I am for you." Samantha's heart groaned with sadness then frustration. "Damn you, John. Why do you always have to be so.so." "Perfect?" She gave him a flat stare. "Sorry." Samantha sighed. "I was thinking 'right'. Why are you so right? I could have managed raising her on my own. I had everything worked out when we moved here. And I did not have anything with a Y chromosome in that equation." "Not even a puppy? Sorry, bad joke." John poured them some tea and took a sip. "Would it make you feel better if I said that I didn't plan on letting a woman in my life again? That I don't want to wind up hurting you? Or worse yet, Brianna? I have a physical reason to not get close. One slip up in my control and I risk losing you both. The logical choice would be to deny myself you and your daughter's company. But it's out of my hands now. My mind doesn't dictate my actions around you. My heart does. And that is my curse. I can't love anyone. The last woman I fell in love with went insane. I told her about me after we got involved. I scared her. She went into shock. She denied me. I pleaded with her to return to me. Driven by my fear I used my ability on her and she went mad from the psychological whiplash. She's in a mental institute because her mind is gone, her will, her soul. And it's my fault. That's what I risk, the destruction of those I love." Samantha was shaken by his sudden outpouring. This was the reason for his reluctance. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She spent a moment wrapping her brain around the concept. For a moment she was frightened for her daughter, the image of him laying bed with her that Samantha found so charming before was now something frightening. She took a deep breath. No, John wouldn't allow harm to come to her. She believed in him at least that much. She wouldn't have asked him to take care of her unless she trusted him. Still, the possibility was unnerving. What John had just revealed was too close to what had already happened to her. Samantha shuddered at the memories. But he wasn't Jeff, she told herself over and over again. Time and experience had enabled her to pick out the honest and the deceitful and John was definitely honest. And right now this honest man was feeling very lost. Samantha stepped next to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "So we're a couple of people that can't seem to fight what's happening between us." "Yeah, looks like." He wrapped an arm around her waist. "There's really only one thing we can do about it." "And that is?" Suddenly she found John's lips sealed to hers. They were so soft and tender yet firm and hungry. Surprise melted like hot butter in his arms and she was his. She felt her breath slipping away and into him. God, he was a good kisser. He changed the angle and he deepened the embrace and Samantha forgot everything but the hunger inside. She pulled him in, not minding if she suffocated if it meant she could stay like this forever. They pulled back and gasped for air but it was her turn to attack. She lunged and pulled him under, her hands exploring his firm chest. Her tongue journeyed into his mouth, caressing him, savoring him. She felt his surprisingly strong hands stroking her back and reaching lower until they rested on her behind. Somehow the gesture aroused her unbelievably and a sound from deep down bubbled up her throat. She pulled back and nibbled on his lower lip, testing the tenderness of the flesh. His neck looked strong and vital and Samantha couldn't resist running her lips over it. His pulse hammered beneath her lips and she could sense his need bleeding into her mind. He was so hungry, but so was she. She could feel his will influencing hers, his lust overcoming her. Samantha fought it back, fought fire with fire until a swirling storm of heat swept them away. Samantha popped the buttons on his shirt one by one, digging for the man beneath. She felt herself being lifted and carried away. John pulled back from her savage lips. "Bedroom," he growled. "Upstairs, at the end of the hall," she commanded before sinking into that manly neck again where the lobe of his ear dangled enticingly. She sucked on it and found its texture appealing to her teeth. The staircase blurred past as impatient feet carried them away. Samantha wasn't sure she could hold back much longer, every touch of his skin burned her down to her core. Impatient, she ripped his shirt open and sent buttons flying. He had a surprisingly deep chest that jumped at her touch. Samantha was tossed onto her bed where she immediately set about undoing her dress as John shed the remainder of his clothes. They collided into one another like opposing waves. The sensations were indescribable. The feel of him, the urgency, made her spin headlong into his arms and drown. She sensed him, his power, as it brought her to an early heat. Flash and flame burst through her body and she shuddered. When his lips wrapped around her nipples she convulsed in rapturous agony. They were insistent and hungry, the way they attacked her. She never thought it possible to feel this way, the sensations so wonderful they were painful. Samantha didn't consider herself the kind of woman to take things lying on her back. She pulled him in and rolled, usurping the superior position. She looked down at her prey hungrily before plunging him in. Nothing could have prepared her for the shock that ran through her. The delicious feeling of him filling her up made her wanting more. She rode him for all she was worth. His stone manhood excavated the center of her soul. Fire clashed with fire, lava flowed around rock. Samantha never remembered it like this, so hot and voracious. Distantly she knew that John was doing something to her, to make her crave him, but she didn't care. She exulted in the orgasms that washed through her. Her mind was torn asunder with the raw sexual energy that flooded her system. She had never felt so alive. She rode with him and came again and again until finally she felt a wet surge within her. Her body hungrily absorbed his seed in her final, ultimate orgasm and her eyes rolled into the back of her head in thunderous ecstasy. An exhausted fog claimed Samantha's body as it went limp with satisfaction. The bed stirred and she felt John sidle up beside her to cup her body in his own. His fingers idly caressed her and she wondered at the sensations running through her. She had never felt like this before. Sex had never been this good. But there was something more that unnerved her. She had never cuddled after sex. Uncomfortable with this alien concept, Samantha pulled away from the warm body and curled up in the covers before allowing sleep to claim her. * * * Samantha drifted awake to find her bed cold and empty. The pillow next to her held a simple note folded into a heart. Frivolous, she thought, but touching. She opened the sheet of paper and read it in the warm rays of the morning. Samantha, Didn't think it would have been a smart idea if I were here in the morning. It would have been a sticky situation to have to explain to Brianna during breakfast. I had a good time last night. Call me when you get a chance. You still owe me a date later this week. John P.S. I'm missing one or two buttons so if they turn up you'll know whose they are. Samantha smirked. Memories of last night swirled through her brain and made her flush. Last night was more than just a good time. It was the best sex of her life. Her body felt sore and used, and she loved it. She looked over at her bedside clock. It was ten in the morning. Maria, her maid, would have seen to Brianna's breakfast by now. At the thought of food, Samantha's stomach growled. She hurriedly brushed her teeth and put on a robe before heading down to the kitchen. A large plate of scrambled eggs and toast greeted her. "Morning, Ms. Summer," Maria greeted as she poured a large mug of coffee for her boss. "I've seen to your daughter. She's in the living room watching cartoons." "Thanks," Samantha smiled and piled on the eggs and toast on her plate then headed to the living room to join her daughter. Her carrot haired princess was watching the television as Samantha put her plate down on the glass coffee table. Brianna looked at her. "So, how was dinner with John last night?" She smiled and nodded. Samantha smiled back. "I take it you two had a good time?" Another smile and nod. Samantha gathered her daughter up in her arms. Brianna was a wonderful child but sometimes she wished she could talk. Samantha sighed. It was her fault. She had done this to her. Her silent daughter reminded her how much she had to atone for her past mistakes. She wondered if John would be a new one. She had had lovers before but none had ever gotten under her skin. But John was different. Samantha sat and wondered. MC-125 Ch. 13 John put away the last of the beakers and stood back to admire the day's work. He had finished moving into the new next-door facility. The newly delivered PCR machines and electrophoresis scanners were set in their respective stations, the autoclave was humming away on a set of dishes and pipettes, and the CRAY computer in his lab was humming by the far wall. Samantha had spared very little expense in giving him what he needed to run his experiments by himself. There would be no lab assistants, understandable considering the delicacy of the research. Done with the days work, John's mind was now free to wander. Naturally, he thought of Samantha and their time together the night before last. The sex was intense, more that he had ever experienced. She was a force of nature in bed. Even now, the thought of it made his heart hammer. But there were two things that he took away from that night that stuck to him besides the experience. First, the effect she had on him was different from anything that he had ever counted with other women. It almost seemed like she was using his own abilities in her favor, a sort of feedback loop. Where the other women that he bedded gave themselves generously Samantha took. She took until he was drained and couldn't help falling asleep for an hour before he left. He wasn't sure about what she did to him. That was a scientific observation that he would have to study. Perhaps it was linked to the reason why she wouldn't let him run any tests on her. It was the second point that disappointed him. It was great sex, but that was all it seemed to be. John had had plenty of sex in the past couple of years. And for a while he thought it was the best thing in the world, to have access to women at his fingertips. But then he met Cassandra and everything changed. Love was so much more. John saw the potential for that with Samantha. She was a strong and brilliant woman. She was witty, smart, and sexy. She had a hidden untapped sensuality about her that she kept closely guarded. Granted, that made getting close to her more difficult but it certainly made being with her more worthwhile. He'd planned on their first time in bed as something intimate and romantic but instead she made it clear that night that that wasn't what she was looking for. Even afterwards, when he tried holding her and cuddling, she shuffled away from him under the sheets. John didn't know what to make of the situation. Perhaps he should talk to her about it. Speaking of whom, the door opened and Samantha strode in. She looked at the laboratory, inspecting the placement of equipment and the streamlined design of the room. Her eyes finally rested on John himself and the corners of her mouth curled up. "Hello, John. Enjoying your new toys?" "You flatter me with the facilities you've granted me." "Does it get me anywhere?" John returned her smile. "Maybe." Samantha stepped boldly up to him and teased his lips with her own. John moved his hands along her ribs until they gently cupped the sides of her breasts. He felt her murmur in approval before he pulled away. There was a time and place for courtship and the worksite definitely shouldn't be one of them. Samantha's eyes silently agreed in his tact and he sensed that he had earned another nugget of her respect. "So, any idea when we can go out again?" he asked. "You owe me, after all." "How about tomorrow evening?" she offered. "We could go out for dinner then come back to my place, put Brianna to bed early, and..." Her sentence trailed off but the sensual twinkle in her eyes spoke volumes of what they could do to conclude the evening. "I have a better idea," John counter-offered. "How about I pick you up tomorrow night and surprise you with whatever I've cooked up." Samantha's eyes sparkled in curiosity as she circled him, measuring him. "Surprises, John? Very well. Pick me up tomorrow night at seven." John watched her statuesque figure as she exited and his mind whirled with possibilities. He had come to the conclusion that a woman as proud as her would not appreciate direct criticism about their previous tryst. He would just have to show her what their first time should have been like. He went home and planned for the next evening. *** John showed up on Samantha's front doorstep promptly at six. He smiled at the bewildered look on her face when she opened the door. "John. What are you doing here?" "Why, to take you out tonight." "I said seven; you're an hour early. The babysitter isn't even here." "Cancel," John stated simply. "What?" "Cancel," John reiterated. "Brianna's coming with us." "But..." "No 'buts'. I told you I'd surprise you so, 'Surprise!'" Samantha stepped back as a bouquet of handpicked carnations attacked her face. A single bloom bent over as a stem broke from the violent introduction and she couldn't help but laugh at the charming simplicity of it all. "All right. Come in and you can explain yourself." John entered her home and gave her a friendly peck on the lips. So far so good, he thought. She seemed to be off balance, and he planned on keeping it that way tonight. He followed her into the kitchen as he explained himself. "I heard that a circus and carnival was in town so I thought it would be nice to take you and Brianna." "I don't know..." "Come on, it'll be fun. When was the last time you took Brianna out? You know she'll enjoy herself. I'll buy you cotton candy." "Alright. Fine," she huffed. "But I'm only in it for the cotton candy." The wings of her lips tilted upwards in a gentle smile. "Great. Go get dressed and I'll break the news to Brianna." Samantha sprinted for the stairs and John couldn't help but smile. He had done the impossible. He was able to touch a part of her that wasn't as serious as the rest of her. Tonight she was going to have fun. John found Brianna in her room coloring a book. "Hey there." Brianna looked up and stepped into a hug. John pulled back and looked at her as he handed her another carnation he had tucked away. Her smile was the very image of her mothers. "Tonight you and I have a mission. It's very important so listen up." Brianna's eyes sharpened in attention. John was beginning to wonder just how precocious the little girl was. "Your mom doesn't have all that much fun, does she?" Brianna shook her head. "Well, I'm sure she used to know but she's forgotten. So tonight we are going to the carnival and the circus to see if we can jog her memory. How does that sound?" Brianna's eyes said it all as her cupid's mouth broadened into a grin. "That's what I though," he said. "So, tonight I want you to have as much fun as you can so you can show her how it's done. Think you can do that?" Brianna's grin turned sly, a peculiar thing to see on a five year old. She winked. "That's what I thought. I'll go get your mom to help you get dressed." He mussed her hair on his way out, earning him a scowl. John slipped into Samantha's bedroom without knocking and took his gloves off as he went in. The sight that greeted him took his breath away. Her back was turned to him so she didn't notice his admiring gaze as she slipped into a comfortable pair of jeans that hugged her hips deliciously. Her graceful neck was tantalizingly exposed with her hair pinned up and John could just make out the firm swell of the sides of her breasts cradled in a black bra. Quietly, he crept up to her until he could feel the heat of her body on his face. He noticed her stiffen in shock as he inhaled the womanly scent of jasmine shampoo and apricot lotion. He raised his hands and left them poised inches from her skin. They hovered down her bare shoulders and arms, the electric heat tantalizing them both. "What are you doing?" she asked, hints of curiosity and nervousness threaded her voice. John hummed in approval. "Admiring a work of art. You've probably heard it a million times but you are a beautiful woman." He noticed how the back of her neck flushed and wondered if it reached the front. He caught another delicious whiff of her and stepped back, the creases in his palms regretting the departure. John took a seat on the edge of her bed and waited. Samantha stood still for another moment before fishing into her large closet for a shirt and sweater. She made her way to her make-up table and began to touch-up her face. John sat and watched her during her feminine ritual. "Wait," he called out as she reached for a slender bottle of perfume. "There's no need for that. I like the way you smell." He saw her eyebrow arch in intrigue in the mirror before she set the bottle down. "You're a very peculiar man sometimes, John," she said as she turned around. "I like to keep you guessing," he answered. "Keeps you interested in me." "Oh, I find you interesting enough." John stood up and walked toward his date. He stood in front of her with some witty retort on the cusp of his lips but lost them as he looked deeply in her eyes. God, she had beautiful eyes. "You know..." "I should go help Brianna get dressed," Samantha blurted out as she stepped back and rushed out the door. John smirked. That was his fault. He should have stuck to his plan. If he had then he wouldn't have let himself get lost in those warm emerald orbs. John slipped his gloves back on and went after his dates. John could tell that if Brianna could talk she would be all atwitter. The mute girl was simply bubbling with enough excitement to pop. Her attitude was infectious and soon Samantha and himself were smiling broadly as they hopped into his car and sped off for the carnival. They arrived none too soon or else Brianna would have combusted in John's backseat from anticipation. John was simply enjoying himself. Samantha seemed at ease, knowing that her daughter was enjoying herself, and John couldn't have asked for more. They made their rounds going on carnival rides and had unhealthy levels of junk food. As promised, John bought each of them fat pink clouds of cotton candy. Brianna even shared some of hers. Samantha didn't. The circus was a brightly lighted affair that was humid with animals and hay. Brianna enjoyed the trick horse riders while Samantha watched the trained bears. After the performance, John spent nearly fifty dollars trying to win a large stuffed pony and bear in a balloon from various stalls. The look on Brianna and Samantha's faces made it all worth it. Later in the evening they came around to a competitive water aiming game where you aimed a small hose at a target to send a monkey climbing to the top. Brianna wanted to play and John and Samantha joined her. Within seconds of the starting alarm John was taking two solid streams of water in the face. He whipped his hose on the two girls to retaliate but was outgunned. Growling, he resorted to other tactics and charged Samantha, hose in hand. He wrapped an arm about her narrow waist and pointed the hose straight down her sweater. She fought back bravely as cold water sluiced through the layers of clothing, her laughter and screams filling his ears. Samantha squirmed delightfully in his arms as John enjoyed the moment. It was short lived when he found a little hand sticking a hose down the front of his pants. He howled in surprise and abandoned the woman in his arms only to get doused again by twin hoses. Thankfully someone else won the game and the water was turned off. Samantha picked up her daughter and gave her a peck on the cheek. "You get something nice for helping out Mom." Brianna grinned broadly while John stuck his tongue out at her. Samantha turned on her date. "And you have to buy me something dry to wear until we get back." "What about me? You two started it." "I'll let you buy something dry for yourself." Flabbergasted, John stood amazed at the whole situation while his date and her daughter walked off into the crowd. "Something's not right about this picture," he grumbled. They found a small gift stall and soon John and Samantha were sporting a pair of matching circus t-shirts after changing in the port-o-potties. They had time for one last ride on the carousel before Samantha decided it was close to Brianna's bedtime. John remembered that last time on the merry-go-round as Samantha rode on a white mare with flowery reins while he bobbed up and down beside her on his own black destrier. She was carefree and happy, the former an expression that he'd never seen on her face. She was breathtaking. The trip back to Samantha's house was uneventful as she and John talked quietly about the laboratory work John was just starting. By the time they got back Brianna was dozing in the back seat. John scooped her up and helped her to bed. Samantha helped her into pajamas and her daughter was asleep before her head hit the pillow, a stuffed pony tucked neatly in her arms. John encircled his arm about Samantha's waist and she pulled in closer. The house was quiet and John was suddenly very aware of the gentle sound of Samantha's breath as she rested her head on his collarbone. They watched Brianna sleep for a moment before heading down the stairs for some tea and conversation. "Have a good time tonight?" "Mmm, wonderful," Samantha replied as she sipped from the delicate cup. "I haven't had that much fun in a long time. And I think that was the best time Brianna's ever had." A stretch of silence opened between them but John sensed she had more to say. "I'm a busy woman and when I find the time to spend with my daughter I don't know what to do with her. My parents were separate from my life. I was sent to boarding school since as early as I could remember. When I was home they didn't pay much attention to me, busy with their own lives. Truth be told, I was more of a guest in their house than what people usually consider as a part of a family. And now that I have a daughter of my own I just don't know how to be a parent." "You're doing all right." "Am I? Sometimes I'm not so sure." "You try. Brianna knows that." John drank from his cup. "She's very precocious, like you mentioned. I can tell she knows that you love her and that's all that really counts." Samantha sighed as John absent-mindedly stroked her hair. He loved the rich red curls as they tangled in his fingers. "What was your family like?" "Mine?" John thought about that one. "Well, for starters I have two brothers, Aron and Danny. I'm the youngest. My mom was a homemaker and my dad a lawyer. Both my brothers followed my father's footsteps and became lawyers themselves. I was sort of the black sheep of the family. My brothers were sporty and I was kind of bookish. I know Mom really wanted a girl but since she never got one she sort of raised me to be a little more sensitive than my brothers. Oh, they're good guys. They just like being boneheads every once in a while, though. They really knew how to pick on me. I'll never forgive them for putting the garden snakes in my bed and tape recording when I screamed." Samantha laughed at that. "Aw, poor little John." "I was seven," he shrugged, "they were fourteen and twelve." "I always got them back, though." "Really?" "I pulled the same snake bit on them except I did it when Aron had a girl over. As for Danny, he never saw it coming when I slipped it in his underwear drawer." "Oh, dear." John smiled at the fond memories. "Yeah, we had a good time." "Do you talk to them much?" "My family? On occasion. I hear from my mother quite often. By the way, she's dying to meet you." "You talked to her about me?" "Definitely. I go to her for advice sometimes when you're being particularly stubborn." "I recall someone once saying that my strong-headedness was attractive," she jibed. "He must be some sort of fool," John shot back. John felt Samantha's laugh down to his bones. "Must be," she whispered before pulling him into a soft kiss. John felt her hand caressing his cheek as she brought him in closer. Her tongue searched for his hungrily and he was more than happy to oblige. Slowly, they parted and looked at one another, their eyes searching for that elusive unknown not found anywhere else. But it was there, between them. Abruptly, Samantha backed away. "I...I need to get to work early tomorrow," said in a panicked voice as she stood up from the couch. "And Brianna needs my help with some things before school." John's hand snapped out and tightened around her wrist. "Samantha, I'm going to wait for you whether you like it or not." His eyes locked with hers until he felt her falter beneath his gaze. "You've already had me, John," she replied in an uncharacteristically small voice, a forced smile pasted to her face. "Or had you forgotten what happened two nights ago." John got up, his eyes never leaving Samantha's. "Let's be honest. You had me. I have yet to have you." He kissed her forehead and let her go. "Goodnight, Samantha." Samantha stood in the empty shadow of her house as she watched John leave through the front door. MC-125 Ch. 14 The following month John and Samantha saw more of one another, scheduling what time they could around their busy lives to be together. Brianna also saw more of John as Samantha now called on him more often to take care of her when she had a late night at the office. Things were moving along wonderfully until John again broached the subject of running more tests on Samantha. “Just drop it, John,” she answered him for the third time emphatically as she shuffled around paperwork. “I’m not going to let you scan me and poke me to your scientific delight. I’m not a lab rat.” “I didn’t say you were. But there is something different about you. You react differently to my touch; in a way that could never predict according to my original formula. I need to find out what makes you so unique. You hold the key, Samantha.” John paused as he thought about his next words. “And I think you already know what it is.” Samantha froze. Her eyes grew taught with an internal conflict that John was now beginning to understand the scope of. “This has something to do with Jeff, doesn’t it?” John stopped himself, not willing to push Samantha on such a sensitive subject. He let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Look, if you really don’t want to then don’t. I just…never mind. Look, I better go pick Brianna up. I’ll see you later tonight.” “John…” “Yeah,” he cut her off on his way out. “I know.” *** John tucked Brianna in and turned off the bedside lamp. He looked at the sleeping child and thought about her mother. Perhaps there was a connection to Brianna’s peculiar silence and Samantha’s guilt. He didn’t know. Samantha held onto her pained past even more than she did her daughter it sometime seemed. John shook his head. At any rate, he would simply have to wait until Samantha was ready to reveal just what had happened to her all those years ago. She was a distant woman for a reason. John rubbed his leather clad fingers together, feeling the smooth slickness of the material, and thought of his own barriers. Was he right in exposing himself to Samantha? So far he had been the only one forthcoming with the secrets. He had revealed much and she very little. Just then he heard the now familiar sound of Samantha’s keys jingling faintly at the front door. John took the stairs down to the foyer and greeted his lover as she came in, giving her a gentle peck on the cheek. “You know, these late night hours are starting to take their toll on you,” John commented. Samantha gave a noncommittal grunt and slowly made her way to the kitchen for her customary cup of tea. John joined her and proceeded to warm tonight’s leftovers in the microwave. “It’s time for our quarterly report and I have to make sure everything’s in order for the more meticulous of our investors. Plus a listing of future prospects and funding. Then there’s the…” “Then there’s a daughter who stays up as much as she can to see her mom before she goes to bed.” “Don’t patronize me about my own daughter,” she snapped. “I know very well that this is taking time away from her. But the investors wait for no one, that’s the speed of business. Not to mention I have to explain where the sudden shift in funding is going concerning your project. Some of the other chairpersons buy into the whole secrecy bit but not all of them.” The microwave dinged and John got up and fetched Samantha her dinner. “Yes, secrecy,” he said simply, but the double meaning that reflected their earlier conversation suddenly loomed over them. John sat down across from Samantha and silently watched her eat, waiting for her next move. As intriguing and mentally titillating as it had been in the beginning, the emotional chess game between them was now becoming more of a hindrance. John was now growing tired of the large block of her past that intruded. John had given it some thought. He normally wasn’t so intrusive but there was something about Samantha’s time with Jeff that kept bugging him. The few times from earlier in their relationship, when John had inadvertently touched her mind, had left lingering impressions on him. Even now he could remember the frightening tempest that rolled in her psyche. He wanted to help her. That she was now also tied into his research made John think more about it. “You’re tired of waiting aren’t you?” Samantha’s words broke through John’s contemplation. “I just care about you, that’s all.” The remainder of the meal proceeded in silence, both of them unsure where things were going. John helped her wash the dishes and then headed for the front door like he did at the end of every night when he took care of Brianna. “Wait,” Samantha spoke into the muted darkness of the foyer as John’s hand touched the doorknob. “Could you maybe stay the night?” John paused, the cool of the metal seeping into his fingertips. “I don’t know if that would be such a good idea…” “Please.” The doorknob began to warm to his touch. “I don’t think it would be wise,” he answered after some more thought. “I can’t control myself in my sleep, in my dreams. It wouldn’t be safe for you, for me.” “But…” “Goodnight, Samantha.” The outside handle to the front door chilled John’s fingers as he pulled it closed behind him. *** John didn’t hear from Samantha for the next week nor did he try contacting her. He didn’t have anything more to say. Samantha already knew everything there was about him: MC-125, his year of exploration, and Cassandra. What had she told him of her willingly? Very little in comparison. John had been patient with her but after being with her for a several months she had divulged very little willingly. Even Brianna’s introduction was an accident. At times John wondered when Samantha would have told him about her. Behind him, John heard keys rattle at the door to his lab. He turned around to find a subdued Samantha walking slowly into the lab. At last, John thought. He hated having to play this waiting game with her; he missed her a great deal over the past week and could tell from looking at her that she felt the same. “Could we sit down and talk a moment?” John nodded and gestured to his desk where there was a pair of actual chairs as opposed to the usual stiff stools that dotted the rest of his lab. John sat down at his desk and waited calmly for Samantha to do the same. She surprised him and sat in his lap instead, John’s arms reflexively wrapping around her waist to prevent her from slipping off. They stayed like that for a moment before she finally spoke. “This is really difficult for me so please be patient.” John didn’t say a word and just held her. He felt her tense body and knew how vulnerable she was. “Like always, you were right. I am different, because of Jeff, because of what he did to me. Because of what I let him do to me.” John raised a hand gently stroked her hair to comfort her. “It wasn’t only that he had me totally played for a fool, he had gotten me involved in other things. I told you my family was rich, and that they had disowned me. But I still had my trust funds. But that too dried up quickly. Money tends to do that when you’re feeding you addiction.” John’s hands stopped in surprised before continuing. This was her story. “Jeff not only was a charming bastard, he was also a pusher. He got me into cocaine and then I was truly hooked. It was one of the ways he kept me under his thumb. I was dependent on him for my next fix. I even experimented with heroin once. I really messed up my life. I was gone, a junkie. Then my bank account hit zero and Jeff disappeared. Not soon after I discovered that I was late for my period. Apparently I had accidentally skipped a pill. Everything changed. Jeff was gone, my steady fix was gone, and now I was supposed to be a mother. “That last part was what really turned me around. If it weren’t for me having Brianna things would have turned out very different. But now I was responsible for someone other than myself. That was it for me. I quite cocaine.” Samantha shuddered in John’s arms and he could hear her sniffling, he could smell her tears. “You have no idea what’s like trying to quite cocaine. All the little things in life are unappealing. Food tastes bland, nothing has any meaning. You can’t feel good about anything, especially about yourself. Even when I gave birth to Brianna I didn’t feel happy.” Samantha broke down at this point. John clutched onto her, trying to shield her from memories. “I was so indifferent at first, can you believe that? I was an automaton, without feeling, without joy. Life was hard but something kept me going. I put my degree in business administration to use and was able to find a job. In time, after about Brianna’s first birthday I started feeling better, I could love Brianna for starters. She’s wonderful isn’t she?” “She’s beautiful,” John replied as he gave her a gentle, encouraging squeeze. “But later I realized something wasn’t right about Brianna.” “She didn’t talk.” “Yeah. I took her to the doctor but I already knew what he was going to say. Brianna can’t talk. My drug addiction cost my baby her voice. Cocaine messes with the neurochemistry of the user. It affects the baby too if the mother is an addict, like I was. There’s so much they still don’t know about the long term effects on…on crack-babies.” Samantha broke down again in a fit of sobbing and John held her, tears rolling down his own cheeks. John knew a few things about cocaine. It was a dopamine transport blocker, inhibiting the natural dopamine recycling process in the brain. Dopamine effects the pleasure centers of the brain and the resulting buildup of it from cocaine caused the familiar ‘rush’ that addicts were hooked on. Unfortunately, the body would learn to cope with the unusual circumstances and build a resistance to the dopamine buildup. Normal levels of dopamine from simple joys would no longer be enough to trigger the pleasure response and hence the addiction. Drug addiction was a scary world and leaving it was just as frightening. “And that’s another reason you scare me so much, John. When I’m with you, when I kiss you, I can feel it deep down, like before. I haven’t felt so much pleasure in such a long time. You make my body ache when you want it to. That first time at the Chinese restaurant… What you did to me was indescribable and every time since then too. You have no idea how much that frightens me. I want you so badly. My body wants you. And I can’t have that. I can’t face another episode like before. But dammit you make it so difficult because I know you’re different from Jeff. I can feel how honest you are. That first time you touched me, when you first explained MC-125, you took the pain from the memories away. I don’t know what you did, but it felt good. It scared me. You scare me but at the same time I can’t help falling…” John kissed her then. He didn’t want to hear those words from her. Not yet. He opened up his mind to her, bared his soul, and felt her twisted agony like their first time. But this time he held her close, clutched her to him and held on. Storms raged, the skies wept, the seas thundered, and still he held her. He took her pain and pulled it into himself; she had suffered enough, too much. Somewhere in the dark depths was the woman he loved and he wrapped his presence around her and held on to her, protected her until the waves grew calmer and furious winds died down to a gentle breeze. Slowly, John extricated himself from Samantha’s mind and found her asleep in his arms. He smiled at her now peaceful features. He cradled her in his lap and thought about her story. All the missing pieces were finally revealed and John now had a sense of just how strong a woman Samantha was. She had a hard life. Not only was she a single mother, but trying to do so while kicking an addiction to cocaine at the same time was something phenomenal. And Brianna…John felt only sorrow about that wonderful girl, sorrow and love. She was a remarkable child, but it would appear she would always be a mute because of her mother’s victimization. John thought about that some more. Yes, Samantha was a victim. John knew there were people like Jeff, preying on the innocent then tossing aside the dried husks when they were through. John felt Samantha stir in his arms and he looked down at her. Slowly her eyes cracked open and she looked up at him. “You did it again, didn’t you. Like the first time.” John nodded. “Thank you.” “I seemed to have put you to sleep. I didn’t realize I was such a crappy kisser.” Samantha smiled at him lazily and kissed him. “Hardly,” she stated and kissed him again. “You never let me finish my sentences.” “You talk too much,” he lightly jibed. They held one another quietly for awhile until Samantha decided to get up. “So when do you want to begin the tests?” John quickly looked at his watch. “Well, we have to pick up Brianna soon. Would tomorrow be good for you?” “No, I’m completely booked with meetings tomorrow. How about on Friday, the day after?” “I have a teleconference with that Swedish team.” “The weekend?” “No, I’m reserving that for you and Brianna.” “Next, Tuesday?” John thought about that. “That sounds okay. Next Tuesday it is.” “Can you stay the night tonight?” “Let me think about it. Like I said before, I don’t know what would happen. It could be that you’re partially immune to me, which would explain a lot. But let’s wait until I run my tests before we come to any conclusions.” “Are you always this careful?” “Only when it comes to the important things. And you and Brianna are as important as they come.”