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Love Tree

By: Musenik



(Copyright 2002 by Musenik. All rights reserved.)

I who have stood since the time of the great cedars. Those tall giants, straight and strong, were cut for ships. I who raise my arms like a cripple begging the sun, my skin bursts in spring with scented lips. Come summer, I unfurl lime hearts to cool the earth. 

I remember her. She was a villager fleeing up the hill to escape the smoke and shelling. She helped a man climb with her until he could not step higher, and she took him to my shade.

She was determined but weary, small for her age, young for her lessons. She whispered to herself as she lay her charge before me. Her words were prayers and curses. She spoke aloud only encouragement to the man as she knelt over him. She trembled, hoping he did not notice her tremors.

Grief and injury tumbled in turmoil beneath his head scarf. Relief and regret broke through as the woman tended his wounds. His humble cloth glistened with blood. Flies landed on it and nourished themselves. He shouted passion, delirious sympathy and desire overwhelmed him. He loved her. He wanted her. She assured him. She loved him. She wanted him. She wept.

Through my leaves, the man looked toward his god for mercy. Warm light sprinkled upon him. The woman bathed his forehead with water from a plastic jug. Removing the scarf was forbidden to her. Rivulets, pink like the petals of my spring, washed into the soil.

A calm took him and his eyes were clear. He reached out and grasp the hem of the woman's robe. He tugged it free from her knees. He shuddered and coughed with the last of his strength. His arm fell back.

She did not speak. She obeyed. She took his hand to her breast and kissed his skin. She tasted the burnt propellant splashed upon it. She opened the top of her robe, removed her arms from its sleeves, and placed his palm upon a bare nipple. She grunted when her soft flesh was forcefully gripped by his fingers. Fear shouted through them.

The man raised his head for a moment. His mouth would have expressed the plea that filled his eyes but another fit took his frame. Coughing and flailing, his body kicked stones and twigs across the hillside, but the woman did not flinch when his fingers cut into her tit.

His hand fell away and his breath was short. "My son." He whispered. "Give me my son." His eyes emptied their desire at her.

Her hands did not doubt. She opened his trousers and freed him. His manhood was dark and struggling for strength. Passion wrestled blood away from his wounds. She kissed his dry lips and held him. She must not delay. She did not hesitate. She rose to a crouch and lifted robe to waist. Her hands swiftly removed her undergarment and she stepped across his loins. There was no time to untie her sash. She lowered himself upon the dying man, but he did not penetrate.

The man's head was dull with pain. His eyes upon her bare cleft did not register it's potency. His cock tried with love to fill her, but he had been raised ignorant of the body. Even rumor was not spoken between devout men. Lust was denied them. His love was powerful, but his flesh was too weak.

The woman didn't understand at first. She should have felt him, inside. She looked, but the man's foreskin was closed. She remembered, while his fold was unopened he could not enter. Her eyes turned their questions to his eyes. They were barely aware of her.

She had heard a story once. It was never written down. Most believed it a sin. She was not certain it was a sin, but she knew her god's will. If she suffered perdition for it, and her son was born tainted, still she would conceive him. Women speak of certain things only to other women, things that occur in the mud houses, their shelters from the sun. It is how she had heard the story. The woman looked again at the man. Her face displayed her resolve, and she moved away. Taking his flesh to her mouth, she raised him.

If a messenger of heaven had appeared, his face might have grown more full of life. His hope soared as the woman brought forth in him the body's desire. He could feel her tongue awkwardly seek his root. Her lips, trembling from anxiety, coated his shaft with hot spittle. Her mouth slicked its length of foreskin and peeled it back. Blood rushed to fill his member.

Before the crime of Onan could be accused, the woman released her sucking and once more she knelt upon his loin.

The man cried out as he pushed into her. His pains all faded and his mind was filled with joy. The woman worked her cleaving swiftly, desperately. She huffed and worried. She did not think of her own pleasure. She had been severed from receiving it. Her thighs tensed and relaxed, bringing flesh into her nest and pulling away, off from it. It felt right, somehow, an important thing, his gift running through her cunt. She held the man's face in her hand and she fucked him bravely. Tears followed the ridge of her puffed cheeks, and they spilled far away from her smile. He kissed her as their actions permitted.

"I love you, wife." The man's voice was like a vapor. His eyes closed, and his muscles died.

"Husband..." She said. "HUSBAND!" She shrieked. The wisp of a woman shook the great mass of human like it were cloth, shaking it for life. No life issued. His body left hers as his soul evaporated.

...and then she wailed. The grasses covering this hill rippled, and stones trembled in sympathy. Bricks and mortar that had made the buildings in the village below, heard her. Its rubble grieved equally. Even the smoke rising to heaven paid respect to her madness. A wind bent it low from the sky. Across the valley, her cry joined one thousand others. It rang upon the earth until her voice expired. 

The young villager looked upon my crooked arms for mercy. She untied the sash from her robe.

Now the sun lingers briefly for a day, and its angle heads towards winter. My hearts are golden upon the ground, soon to be dust. I have no mercy for God. I remember when I hung the man who had killed the one He loved. I am filled with wonder.

Romance through the eyes of Cercis Siliquastrum : Love Tree, Judas Tree, The Mediterranean Redbud.

Love Triangle Fractures



Stephen came home early from work. It was Friday and the girls would probably be planning something for the weekend. He entered the house but there was no sign of the females. He went upstairs and could hear them laughing and talking as he got closer to the bedroom. The pair were laying naked on their stomachs on the bed, talking and smiling. Stephen stopped at the door to take in the view. They had obviously just showered because their hair was damp and towels were on the floor.

"Chrissy, what does our boyfriend actually do?" Stephen suppressed a chuckle, he was curious how Kara would answer.

"Hmm... I think he makes airplanes, or maybe those solar panels? I don't know." Kara laughed and flipped her dark brown hair. Stephen was an engineer, he designed and built wind turbines, not airplanes or solar panels. He took in their flawless twenty-three year old bodies. Chrissy had a long strawberry-blond mane that went down to her lower back, which drew attention to her pert butt. They weren't nearly identical, though both were petite, Kara was a little taller and had slightly wider hips, brown eyes to Chrissy's green.

"He was talking to some guys at his party about windmills." He had just turned twenty-six the week before. Chrissy was stroking Kara's dark hair.

"We should have a party outside when it gets warm."

"Yes, pool party! We can go shopping for the sluttiest bikinis." The girls laughed. Stephen went into the bathroom and flushed the toilet to let them know he was home. When he returned they were stomach to stomach with their arms wrapped around each other, smiling at him.

"Hey sexy, how was work?" Chrissy jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him, she smelt like strawberries. He sat with her on the bed, kissed her neck while she squealed. Kara crawled over to them and he kissed her pout, she licked his lips.

"Just building a new windmill." The girls looked at each other, realized he'd been listening in on their conversation.

"Hey, you were eavesdropping on our private conversation?" Kara bit his neck. Chrissy's bare puss was heat against his covered thigh. He was erect, straining against his dress pants.

"Yes, I'm sorry, I'll make up for it." He tossed Chrissy on her back on the bed, her lightly furred puss open to him. He bent down and licked her slit, she squealed. Kara lay down with her legs spread next to Chris. As soon as he saw her shaved lips he had to taste her too. He dug his tongue into her while she swore.

"Oh, fuck, I forgive... Chrissy, you forgive?" She pretended to think about it, Stephen moved back between her legs and ran his tongue around her clit.

"Maybe!" Chrissy wiggled away and shimmied back on the bed. Stephen tried to follow but Kara tackled him.

"Leave my girlfriend alone!" He turned and pinned her wrists to the bed, took one of her small plump tits into his mouth.

"Oh, that's better." While Stephen concentrated on suckling Kara's tits, Chrissy got off the bed. She slapped Stephen's ass and Kara escaped out from under him when he turned. Chrissy grabbed Kara's hand and they ran out into the hallway. Kare yelled back over her shoulder:

"Baby, go take a shower and then come find us and I promise we'll be nice and docile for you." He stood in the room full of desire, breathing heavy, smiling. He heard Chrissy whisper to Kara:

"What does docile mean?" Kara whispered back: "Easy." Chrissy giggled and they ran down the stairs.

Stephen took a long shower. He thought about how he had come to have two live-in girlfriends. He met them both in high school, they were younger, best friends. He began sleeping with Kara when he was in college. Chrissy was always around, he and Kara were never serious, they hung out all the time and when the two girls graduated high school they moved into his college apartment. That apartment was where it really began.

He fell in love with Chrissy when they moved in. He always had a thing for both girls, but it was Chrissy that he thought about all the time before he began seeing Kara. He knew that they messed around before he met them and he thought Chrissy might be gay because she didn't flirt with him the way Kara did. So if Chrissy was unavailable, Kara was the next best thing. 

But the more time he spent with Chris, the more he realized she was just as into him. Kara saw what was happening and didn't want to be left out. From then on, the only real rule was that if two people were having sex they couldn't exclude the third. Stephen graduated college, expecting his love triangle to fall apart at any time.

The girls helped him pick out his first house, they followed him out to the country. Each had their own designated bedroom, but the girls quickly marked their territory in his closet and dresser with their things. Both worked, neither paid rent or went to school; and they tried to keep their triangle secret. Chrissy's family thought she was living with her boyfriend, Kara's family thought she was just living with her best friend and ex-boyfriend.

Their close friends all pretty much knew what was going on. They wouldn't admit to anything, but they didn't hide their affection for each other either.

Stephen finished his shower, toweled off, still had an erection. He didn't bother finding boxers or a t-shirt, he had one thing on his mind. He went downstairs, peeked into the kitchen then the dining room, walked into the living room and there they were bent over the couch with their asses sticking out at him. They giggled.

"That's not much of a hiding spot." Kara wiggled her bottom at him, she had a little birthmark on her left cheek.

"Kara wants you to put it in her ass." Kara slapped Chrissy's ass hard, left a red mark.

"Ouch! I was kidding, bitch." Kara said she was sorry. Stephen was gonna lose his mind. Two hot pussies and assholes were waiting for him bent over his couch. Actually, two tight pussies and possibly one asshole, because Kara would never let him put it in her ass. He stepped toward them, placed a hand on each smooth ass. He held his cock in his hand, saw a glint of fear in their eyes at the sight of his thick, gorgeous cock.

"Lick first." He got down on his knees on the floor behind Kara, buried his face in her ass, pierced her pussy with his tongue. She groaned, stared at Chrissy while he ate her out from behind. Chrissy kissed her, she kissed back weakly because of the intense feeling emanating from her crotch.

"Kara, he's going to put his penis inside you and fuck your brains out. You're a dirty girl, you're gonna lick me while he fucks you." Kara's face was flush, her breath was ragged. Stephen pulled away from Kara and moved to Chrissy, he snuck up on her, she gasped when he dove into her, nose buried in her ass.

"Ohhhh, fuck!" She wiggled her ass around on his face while he ate her out. Now it was Kara's turn to tease her girlfriend. She leaned over the top of the couch and suckled her friend's nipple. Chrissy had smaller tits than Kara, but they were pointy, pert, incredibly sexy. Stephen liked Chrissy's taste better, but he kept that to himself. He was just enjoying himself, momentarily forgetting his throbbing penis to take in the smells and taste of the pussy and ass gyrating on his face.

"Sweetie, when you're on your back getting your pussy filled, I'm gonna sneak a bunch of fingers in your ass -- and guess what? You're gonna win the crown for sluttiest slut!" Both girls laughed, though Chrissy's was funny because she was moaning at the same time. Stephen stood up, kissed Chrissy's back then placed his cock at her entrance and pushed. She hadn't expected it, but relaxed enough to let him ease his way into her silky tightness.

"Booooo! I thought I was gonna be first..." Kara held Chrissy's hair while Stephen held her hips for leverage as he began fucking her deep. After he concentrated on just her for a minute he reached over to Kara and began sliding his finger up and down her slit, she was wet and ready. He pulled out into the cool air and moved the head of his cock to her entrance.

"Oh, shit, wait!" Kara stopped him at her entrance and ran into the kitchen to retrieve the box of condoms they kept in a drawer. She never allowed him in without a condom, Chrissy let him in any way he wanted. 

She sat on the couch, just a new wet spot on the cushion that they'd have to clean. She unrolled the condom on his throbbing manhood. She leaned over and took him into her mouth to get him slick. Chrissy quickly called Kara a slut for putting him in her mouth first. Kara got back on her knees, bent over the back of the couch and Stephen held her hip and pushed himself inside. In terms of tightness there really was no difference, however both squeezed him differently when he was inside.

Stephen began sawing in and out of Kara's cunt, she had her head down, hair covering her face, Chrissy was playing with her nipples watching her boyfriend's dick disappear into her best friend. After a few minutes inside of Kara, Stephen wetted his finger and brought it down to Chrissy's asshole. She was concentrating on tweaking Kara's nipples, so it was a surprise when Stephen slipped his index into her ass and worked it in a good inch or two. 

She stared at him helpless as he fucked her ass with his fingers while fucking an oblivious Kara with his cock. He leaned toward her and kissed her passionately, Kara had an orgasm under them while they made out, tongues dancing.

"Hey, someone kiss me!" She had finished cumming, was watching them kiss. Chrissy released his lip lock and kissed Kara. Stephen removed his cock from her and his finger from Chrissy, he then kissed each cheek of her ass and her clit. Chrissy turned over, legs over her head and spread for him. 

He placed his cock to her entrance and easily slipped in. He wasn't as gentle this time. He fucked her against the couch, hard, leaned down over the backs of her thighs to suckle her breasts and neck. Kara was feeling left out, she got down on her knees on the floor and did what she had promised. She wiggled a finger around Chrissy's asshole, Chrissy was pinned down by Stephen's weight, not that she'd really try and fight it. Kara slipped her finger in where Stephen's had been, worked it in and out along with Stephen's cock in her pussy.

"Ahh, fucking shit, you fucking fucks!" She came hard, squeezed Stephen's cock and Kara's finger. She was a mess when she was done cumming, Stephen kept fucking her until he came in the condom. He threw the condom on the floor and pulled Kara up on the couch with the two of them, spent dick resting on his thigh.

"You wanna go out to dinner?" he asked, Kara nodded.

"Make love to us again first." That was a given. Kara was working his messy cock in her hand, trying to get him hard. He made out with Chrissy, worked two fingers into her cunt while Kara jacked him off. When he was hard Kara unrolled another condom on his dick.

"Stephen, fuck me, I wanna lick Chrissy." Both girls got into position, Chrissy sat with her legs spread watching Kara put her mouth on her little lips. Stephen held her hips and worked his way back inside her snatch. Kara liked licking pussy, probably more than Chrissy. She went to town, made loud slurping noises. Chrissy would lick her sometimes and it felt like she was doing it for Stephen. They didn't have as many girl sessions as they used to. Chrissy never initiated it anymore.

"My turn." Stephen pulled out of Kara and Chrissy straddled him. She put her arms around him and mashed her chest to his so they could make out. Stephen placed his penis into her and she began bouncing up and down on him. Kara sat by and watched, they were in a position that she couldn't participate in. She was a little jealous of the way they were staring at each other and sucking face. Finally, Chrissy let her have a turn. Kara straddled him and he held her hips while he pounded up into her. It was satisfying, she came all over his dick and he finished in the condom inside of her this time.

"I'm gonna take another shower." Kara left them, with Chrissy lying on top of Stephen kissing and talking. She took a long shower, felt satisfied and was ready to go out and have fun. When she went back downstairs she didn't get mad, just irritated. Chrissy was on her back on the sofa again, legs in the air while Stephen fucked her. She watched his cock disappear into her friend and witnessed them both climax -- that break in rhythm, him burying his cock in her and cumming while she wiggled her hips under him. How could he even go again?

"You two are sex addicts. Go upstairs and take showers so we can go to dinner." She startled them out of their own little world, Chrissy smiled. Stephen pulled his spent cock out and stood up. Kara felt jealous that he hadn't worn a condom with her, that he'd cum inside her. Chrissy followed him up the stairs, gave Kara a silly look back over her shoulder. She knew they'd try something in the shower, felt hurt that they didn't feel bad about having fun without her.

At dinner Chrissy sat to Stephen's right so they could hold hands under the table, he was left handed so Kara usually got his elbow. When they went to the bathroom Kara told Chrissy she wanted to switch seats, but then when they switched Stephen didn't want to hold hands anymore. Kara was in a funk. Chrissy wanted to go to the movies after but Kara didn't want to, mostly because Chrissy wanted to.

"Kara, we'll drop you off at home if that's okay?" Her heart sank, she wanted them to go home with her, not go on a date.

"Fine. But I get to go out with you tomorrow by myself." Chrissy didn't like that, but she agreed anyway because there was no point in fighting with Kara when she was being a baby.

Kara went to bed early, she was awoken when they returned around midnight. She could hear them talking and laughing all the way up the stairs and then into the bathroom.

"Stephen, let's just sleep in another room. I don't want to wake her up, she's already irritated with me."

"She's just irritated and she'll get pissed if she wakes up and we're in another room." They came in the room. Kara pretended she was sleeping when they got into bed, then pretended to wake up.

"Hey, you're back, what time is it?" They both put their arms around her and kissed her neck.

"Time to fuck, baby." Chrissy said it in a weird voice, Stephen laughed.

"No, I'm sleepy." She held them until she fell asleep. An hour later Stephen was stirred from a light sleep by Chrissy's hand on his thigh. She pretty much dragged him out of bed.

"What you doing?" She told him to be quiet and when they got out into the hall she kissed him hard against the wall. 

"I need you." Stephen didn't reply, he pulled her shirt off over her head and fondled her small breasts. They both fell to the floor, removed the little clothing left on their partner. Stephen lay over her, sucked on her tongue, she swiveled her hips under him. He was hard, resting against her hot puss.

"Do you love me?" Kara was up, she listened to her lovers devouring each other in the hallway.

"Yes, I love you, you're all mine." Chrissy cooed.

"I love you, you're mine. Ahh!" Stephen pushed into her body, she clawed at his back.

He fucked her gently against the carpet, her mouth was open in a silent moan. Kara was jealous, they wanted to be intimate away from her. She listened to them for about twenty minutes before she heard something that broke her heart:

"Chrissy, I want you to know that if anything ever happens between the three of us...I want you and me to still be together."

"Me too, Stephen."

***

Kara was getting ready for her date with Stephen, Chrissy was laying on the bed watching her while she ate ice cream.

"No, don't wear that bra, it's too slutty." Kara dropped the push-up and reached back in the drawer. She didn't mention what she heard the night before, even though she was incredibly hurt by it.

"I wanna look kinda slutty..." She put a lacy black bra on, pulled up her skirt.

"It's gonna be so boring sitting here by myself while the two of you go out and have fun." Kara turned to Chrissy and blew her a kiss.

"Don't eat all my ice cream, slut." Chrissy frowned at her, spoon in mouth.

"Don't use up all my boyfriend then." Kara wiggled her butt at Chrissy then went downstairs to find Stephen so they could go. She wanted to see where she stood with him. If Chrissy was positioning herself to be with Stephen and not her, she wanted to know.

Stephen took Kara to a sports bar that rarely played sports, it was more of a restaurant than a bar. Kara liked the various fried seafood they served. She sat with him in a booth, he put his arm around her and looked down at her ample cleavage. She had a fuller chest than Chrissy.

"I haven't seen you all day, Stevie." She'd gone shopping with Chris.

"That's cuz you went shopping. I actually went to the driving range and hit some balls -- but it's not much fun without you." She smiled. That was something they did without Chrissy, the driving range. Kara loved swinging as hard as she could and letting the ball go wherever it wanted. Stephen would place the balls on the tee for her so she wouldn't have to bend over and flash her thong at the old men.

"You'll like our purchases -- you'll want to have a pool party every week after you see our new bikinis." She rubbed his thigh, he ordered drinks and food for them.

"I'm sure they're super sexy, you make anything you wear sexy." Kara pecked his mouth and looked into his light eyes.

"I'm happy how we are...are you?" She liked being committed to him and Chrissy, she could go to one to talk about any difficulty she was having with the other.

"Yes, I'm lucky, I live in a dream with two good girls."

"Do you think Chrissy is happy how things are?" He hesitated.

"She's your best friend, has she said anything to make you think she isn't?" Kara thought about how to respond, she kissed him to buy time.

"I don't know, sometimes she doesn't seem that interested in me... I love you, she's not here, so let's stop talking about it." He played with her hair, kissed her neck. He had the habit of watching her eat, which she didn't like, she'd ask him to go to the bar and get her a new drink so she could have a minute to put food in her mouth without being self-conscious about it. She was envious of Chrissy, in that she could do anything: eat, go to the bathroom, cry about silly stuff -- all in front of him.

"So, Kara, what you think you'll be doing in a few years?" 

"I want to go to community college and be a medical technician, like x-rays or somethin'." She currently worked part-time as a medical receptionist.

"I hope you do, you're a smart girl. Community college tuition isn't much. I'll help you, just tell me when you wanna start." She knew he'd pay all her tuition, she didn't really like the idea of it, but it was probably something she'd need just to go. 

"Maybe this fall? I'll have to apply and talk to someone about the programs." She was happy, the more she thought about going to college the more she wanted too.

"You should. I wanna carry your books to your first class." She kissed him again.

"What about to my second class?" She teased, rubbed her hand over his inner thigh, nudged his package.

"I'll buy you a cute little monkey with a backpack, he'll carry your books to all your classes." She laughed, hugged him, wanted to be close to him.

"I wanna go drive around, like we used to." He understood what she meant, she wanted to find a secluded place to use her powers on him. He got the check and they were in his car in minutes, driving on the country roads, even further outside of town then where they lived.

They pulled into a turn-around that was secluded from the road by trees. He pushed back the seat, she climbed over his lap, kissed him needy. For fear of being caught by a state trooper she slipped her thong aside and slipped him in for a quickie, rode him until he came in her after a couple minutes. He fondled her under her shirt, she wanted him to cum in her and let it slip to Chrissy that he had.




Love Triangle Fractures



"Tonight was ideal, Stephen. Let's go home so Chrissy doesn't think we had too much fun without her." Chrissy was watching TV in the living room when they returned.

"Did you have fun, bitches?" They attacked her on the couch, tickled her until she was laughing so hard she was crying. Chrissy was glad they didn't stay out that late, but she could smell the sex on both of them. She was sitting in Stephen's lap on the couch and could practically smell Kara's pussy on him. It made her kind of jealous, and horny too. She cornered Kara on the couch when he went upstairs.

"So, what did you do on your date?" Kara put her arm around Chrissy and fondled her boob.

"Just went to the sports bar and talked."

"What'd you talk about?"

"About going to college and stuff like that." Chrissy raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"You can go to college, I'm not."

"I wasn't asking you to, bitch." Chrissy pinched Kara's boob. They pinched and tickled each other until Chrissy stopped.

"Did you fuck him in the dirty bar bathroom?" Kara smiled, Chrissy knew and she was jealous.

"No."

"You sucked him in the car?" Kara shook her head.

"We parked in the middle of nowhere and I just put him in, rode him for a few minutes. He didn't last as long as he usually does. I thought someone was gonna spot us being exhibitionist whores."

"You let him cum in you?" Kara nodded, Chrissy's face fell.

"Slut."

"You always do..." Kara was petting Chrissy's head when Stephen came back. Chrissy was jealous, he was being so sweet to Kara, he'd come in her, what if she got pregnant too? At least she'd probably tell him before she started showing... She figured it had been two months since she took the pregnancy test, was going to the doctor that week.

The next day Chrissy decided she'd own up and tell Kara she was pregnant, she needed her friend's advice. Kara knew something was up, Chrissy was usually the more upbeat one.

"What's wrong, Chrissy? You got a night alone with him and I got a night."

"Kara, I'm pregnant." Kara's jaw dropped, she sat down on bed with Chrissy and put her arm around her. At first she was scared for her friend, then it started to dawn on her, she'd lose them both now, it was inevitable.

"You wanna have it?" Chrissy nodded.

"Well, I always thought you wanted one, just not this year." Chrissy frowned.

"Sorry, I don't know what to say... He's not gonna be pissed or anything, sweetie, it's his fault for cumming in you a million times, he'll probably think it's great."

"What do you think?" Kara partly lied.

"I'm happy for you and Stephen, you'll be a family. I love babies, you love babies, we'll have our own." Chrissy seemed less down when she said that.

"You're part of our family, Kara. Me, baby, you and Stephen."

"I hope I'm not pregnant too, that might be too much baby for our family."

"Oh, God, that'd be fun and ridiculous and horrible all at the same time. Although, we'd both still look smokin' all pregnant in our new bikinis." They talked about Chrissy's pregnancy until they heard Stephen come home in the afternoon, he'd been at his uncle's house all day.

"Oh, shit, what do I do?" Chrissy was panicking, Kara closed the bedroom door when she heard him come upstairs.

"Just tell him, bitch. I'll stay when you do or go, your choice." Stephen couldn't get the door open.

"Hey, it's me, what you two doing in there?"

"I'm fucking Chrissy with a big strap-on in the butt, it's pretty messy, go back downstairs." Kara opened the door on a wide-eyed Stephen.

"Just kidding, see you later." She pushed Stephen in the room with Chrissy then closed the door on the pair.

"Hey Strawberry Sweetheart, what's up with her?" Chris got up and hugged Stephen, guarded her stomach so he wouldn't somehow know she was pregnant via transference.

"Stephen, I've got something to tell you." He stopped smiling, looked worried.

"I'm pregnant, we're gonna have a baby; in the fall I think." He grinned, stopped grinning and studied her.

"That's great news -- isn't it? I love you, you wanna have my baby?" Chrissy was overjoyed, she jumped him, kissed him all over his face.

"Yes!"

"I'm gonna take care of you and our baby."

"I know."

"You think Kara will get jealous?"

"Inevitably. She doesn't want a baby though, she seemed happy for me at least."

"Remember what I said, me and you no matter what." Chrissy agreed, they went downstairs to have dinner with Kara.



Love Triangle Teacher And Student



I have been in the Biotechnology program for 2 years so far and it's so sad to admit something as missing my professor. He started as a part time teacher at the University I was attending and became my first chemistry teacher. Now one thing about me you should know is that I hate sciences- with a passion. I know what you're thinking- so why do it right? To be honest I'm just in it for the money, as for chemistry...I just go to that class to see the teacher and drool over him (not literally). You guys probably think I'm gross, drooling over and old guy but he's just 30- don't ask me how I know; and I recently just turned 21 so it's not that big a deal. Especially considering my dad is like 15 years older than my mom and they've been together like forever and I know it's so totally gross, so.... 

Hi, my name's Jasmine and I'm a 21 year old university student studying Biotechnology at a university I'd rather not name in case you guys want to stalk me- just kidding. I'm not sure as to what I'm majoring in but I'm single. I'm average in body size and height, dark brown eyes, caramel complexion and streaked blue on black hair (no weave or extensions), I have five tattoos- tribal ones on my wrists and ankles and a banner with a cross that says "Only god can judge me" on my back. I can't say they weren't painful but I can't say I'm not a sadist either. I also have stretched ear lobes of ½'' and no other piercings on my body. The teacher I'm crushing on is Filipino and freaking hot. He's like 5ft 9", taller than my 5ft 2" and he wears glasses (I have a glasses fetish). He has his degree in Pathophysiology, French and Critical thinking; I know he's such a nerd it's cute. I just want him to talk me stupid. I obviously adore smart guys. I know what you're thinking- she's probably stupid. Quite the opposite my friends, I'm actually too smart for my own good. I'm currently on the honour roll and I volunteer as a tutor for high school student part time.

"Jasmine," Professor Bernard called me up for my paper, "you did really well again this time Jas," I blushed so hard but it wasn't that visible because I'm dark. As he handed my paper to me he whispered in my ear

"I could probably use some help marking them next time," as if trying to de-fuse a ticking time bomb, I bit down on my tongue so hard I could feel myself practically bleeding. Then his stopwatch went off- which meant class time was five minutes to closing. I know that in itself is kind of nerdy but I think it's cute. He dismissed us and I dragged my feet to the next class of the day- Anatomy.

I know what you're thinking- why am I doing anatomy? I'd like to know the same thing, because I knew I had to do biology but this is just ridiculous. So you're now wondering why I am dragging my feet. Let's just say, I dislike pretty boys which ultimately describes my next teacher. He's the same age as my heartthrob Bernard but really don't ask me how I know and he's still a part time teacher. 

"Good Afternoon class," Professor Blair announced as he eyed me down. He had something against my many tats and ear lobes but I couldn't understand because he was Canadian and you're not supposed to discriminate against students or anyone else. I just think he had it out for me

"Jasmine could you come to the front of the class please," he announced as he tapped his ruler against his desk. Just so you know, I do sit in the front of this man's class, so with a smile I said politely,

"But sir, I am at the front of the class," the class scoffed and he turned furiously red at his ears. He tapped his ruler again and I sighed as I got up and went to the front of the class.

"Ok class," he began "Jas is an example of what not to wear in the workplace," he ran his ruler over the front my Linkin park wife beater (I had spray painted "Linkin park" onto the white tee), my pleated plaid skirt, knee high sock and airwalks.

"Biotechnology involves the use of many materials whether corrosive or otherwise," He blabbed "if in this attire," he made me turn around and I heard whistles from the class,

"I think you get the picture," he motioned for me to go my seat, not before he whispered that he needed to see me in his office after class. You can obviously see why I dislike this man's class.

"Don't worry Jas," my friend Anton nudged me "he's just pissed he can't have you." Anton is like me, in the aspect that he's "modified"- though he has way more tattoos and piercings than I do and he's Spanish. We laughed out loud and Blair gave us that "look" before starting class. At the end of class he gave back our papers- which was routine since we had a quiz every week to test how we were progressing. 

"Why hasn't he called your name yet?" Anton asked me. The papers were usually given out in either alphabetical order or in ranks of highest to lowest grade wise. My last name is Adams and the first person to get his paper was Pauley, no offense to him but he never passes.

"Ok class, you may go," he ended. 'What the hell,' I screamed internally. 

"Why didn't I get my paper back?" I asked him furiously as I marched up to his desk

"That's why I told you to come to my office after class," he didn't look up at me. I stared at him long and hard- his black hair was wet and combed back slick, long eyelashes masked blue eyes, I could see he was well built through his suit. I began to see why he was such a heartthrob in my program but nothing could beat my Bernard, not even Blair. When it comes to hair, mesmerizing eyes, dazzling smile- Bernard had it locked (for me of course) and he jogged in the mornings before class so he was just as well built. Again, don't ask me how I know this.

I had been hovering over him for so long, that I hadn't noticed that not only that the class room was empty but that he was looking back up at me. I stopped day dreaming and when our eyes met he smiled. Still trying to keep eye contact he placed his hand over mine, I didn't have enough time to pull away and he grabbed my hand- interlocking out fingers he kissed my wrist. I shuddered.

"Sir," I said in the weakest and sexiest voice I could muster,

"Yes, Jasmine," he shocked me, he had never called me Jasmine before, trying to not get carried away I snapped back in to reality

"Can I have my paper please," I said in the calmest yet coldest voice I could muster, it even sent chills up my own spine. His smile disappeared and he let go of my hand. 

"Meet me in the staff room on 15 minutes," he smiled fakely as he collected his stuff and left me standing there.

As I stood there contemplating if I should go to the staff room after what had just happened, I remembered that Blair shared an office with Bernard. So not only would I get to see Bernard once again out of class but I would be safer than if Blair tried anything.

Thirty minutes later

I knew I was running late but certain things couldn't be helped. I'm a nice person so I can't refuse requests, whether from my fellow classmates or teachers; well I could but that just wouldn't be nice now would it.

"Professor Blair?" I tapped on his door and it creaked open. There was no sign of Blair or Bernard. The room was a big as washroom with four stalls- in which one desk was facing the other. It was cluttered with piles of paper, pictures and post it's on both sides. The blinds were half closed and since it was evening- there was little light coming through. I went over to Bernard's desk almost on impulse. He had a photo of himself along with Blair- they had been shoulder to shoulder on what seemed to be a golf court. So I guess they were best friends- I hope I wasn't intruding. I began to wander around to the coat rack, where I immediately spotted what Bernard had worn to class this morning. Running the sleeves between my thumb and index finger, I inhaled his scent. I know that I have issues.

"What are you doing?" uttered a voice from the door; I was so startled I bumped into the coat rack, knocking over the rack itself and a pile of books in the process.

"Shit," I hissed as I went down on my knees to pick the books up from the floor. "I was waiting for you and you weren't here," I began to grumble

"You came to see me?" I gasped as I realised it wasn't Professor Blair I was talking to but Bernard. My whole attitude suddenly changed. I stumbled back trying to get up and now my back was against the wall, one leg to my knee and the other outstretched.

"I came to get my paper from Professor Blair," I corrected myself as he approached me. He was now on both his knees in front of me piling books in size order on the floor. I exhaled and he looked up at me; I hadn't noticed I'd been holding my breath. Our eyes locked and I began to blush. He reached his right hand out and tucked the hair that was in my face behind my ear.

"Did you know you're very beautiful," he smiled at me. I could smack myself for giggling but I couldn't help it, I was with the man that I was fervently stalking. Trying to look away, he grabbed my cheeks between his thumb and middle finger. The harder he stared at me, the hotter I became and I wasn't wearing that much clothing. Coming closer, he stepped over both my legs, so that his were entrapping mine. I hadn't noticed until his pelvis was right above mine that he was in jogging clothes. The moment I noticed that, I began to smell the fresh sweat on his body- he smelled like a man and I liked it.

"Jasmine," he uttered my voice again so softly I could feel his breath on my lips. I had been looking down at his junk and when I looked up, he smiled. I smiled in return. Then he kissed me. It was hot and wet and as he cradled the back of my head in the palm of his left hand, he stroked my face with the thumb of his right. I couldn't pull away and I didn't want to. He must have noticed my feelings and found he felt the same way. When his tongue entered the picture, I almost gasped. He wasn't toying with me- this was a REAL raw kiss. As our tongues danced, he bit my lip and sucked on it. They turned red and he smiled as he said

"Is it bad that I want my student this bad?" I looked at him and he seemed to be a totally different person. He removed his glasses and I saw the gorgeous son a bitch I fell for.

"Is it bad that I'll let my teacher have me?" I asked him in return as I allowed him the pull the strings of my panties. Yes I wore sexy panties- you never know when your teacher may want to fuck you. I probably was going too fast but when I have a chance I take it. You never know when their conscience may come into play and they realise they could lose their job. With this in mind, I leaned in to kiss him again, biting on his lower lip in the progress. It was then that I heard him let out a sexy growl. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he grabbed hold of my buttocks as he lifted me from the floor. As we moved towards his desk, I then wrapped my legs around his waist as he freed he right arms to demolish everything on the desk-sweeping them to the floor in one swift motion. He was getting impatient and I loved it. Laying me down gently on the table, he mounted me and we entered into another kissing frenzy.

His shoulder length black hair was damp from the jogging and I couldn't resist the urge to twine my fingers in as he delved into my neck. Sucking, biting and nibbling at my flesh so hard, I'm sure I'd see proof of our rampage in the morning. That is what I looked forward to. 

I began letting out little gasps as he gave me little bites through my shirt- from my breasts all the way down to my navel. Raising my shirt a little he nibbled at my belly as his right hand caressed my outer left thigh. The sensation sent shivers down my spine and shudders from my lips. I began to get impatient, I had wanted this man.

"Sir, let me taste you," I whispered hoarsely. He stopped what he was doing and he looked at me in shock almost. That's when I smiled- showing pearly white teeth. He probably mistook me for the bogey monster just then as I propped myself up in a better angle. I became rough with my little white chocolate bunny as I tugged at his sweats. It came down as fast as the books did off the table. He was still on his knees on the table and I between his legs. So I just did him and me both a favour as I slid down between his legs, so that my breath was on his manhood.

"Wait Jas..." he started but I didn't let him finish as I took his reaction to me in my mouth. You have no idea what it feels like to have the man you want react to you this way- well you probably do but you get the drift.

As I fondled his balls which were surprisingly waxed clean and hairless, I licked that shaft of his dick from the base all the way to the sweet tip in which he was oozing love juice. 

"Mmmmm," I began to moan "you taste so good." As my little licks on the head became sucks. I could feel the drool running down my chin, as I placed my tongue at his urethra and sucked on him as I slobbered.

He stoked my hair at first and then I think he began to lose himself, as he grabbed my hair and started to ram his pulsing cock in my mouth. Placing both my hands on either side of his outer thighs, I followed with his motion- moving my head back and forth as I felt the blood vessels in his cock pulsing against my tongue. I closed my mouth tighter now around him as I used my right hand to massage his balls. Till suddenly I felt something warm in the back of my throat, and that's when he looked down on me, holding my head steady and he filled my mouth with his cum. I looked up at him as I swallowed it all, licking the remains from the tip of his head. He shuddered and I smiled. Then when he bent to kiss me, he licked my lips.

Pushing me back onto the table, he lay on his side beside me- so that my back was facing him. Pushing my hair forward he began to suck and kiss on my neck and he grabbed my breasts with his right hand- squeezing massaging and circling my nipples with his fingers. He teased the little buds till they were erect and then he tugged on them with his index and middle finger. His breathing down my neck sent more shivers down my spine and I gasped when he pulled my right legs back onto his. Totally forgetting that my panties had been the first to go, I felt the rush of air hit my inner thighs, followed by the warmth of his manly hands and he touched my wetness. Gritting my teeth, I looked down to watch his hand at work- as he spread the lips of my pussy and ran his fingers from my entrance up to my clit. Resting on the little bud, he made tiny rapid circles with his index and middle fingers and I started to feel my muscles tense. Then he stopped. Pushing my upper torso a bit forward, he spread my lips once more and guided himself into me.

It has been a while since I last had sex and I'm sure he could feel the tightness of me around him. I heard him moan and I smiled to myself. He held my lower abdomen as he thrust his hips into me; in and out, in and out in that very fluid motion. Using his left hand, he delved three of his fingers down my throat and I willingly sucked on them as the man I fell for fucked me from behind. Since he was in, I closed my legs. I heard it felt better that way and boy did it work. His panting increased as he began ramming his chunk of meat into my pussy. Then when I think he couldn't take the strain anymore, we switched positions. He wanted to see my face. Pushing me over to lie on my back, he pulled my left leg over his right shoulder, and with his palms on either side of my face, he entered me. So deep if I was any lighter, I would have turned blue. I could feel all of him in this position, as he pummelled into me- feeling it in my abdomen and rising. Was he always this big? I began pondering but not for long. As if he had an idea of what I was thinking he kissed me; long and hard till I didn't have time to catch my breath. I grabbed hold of his shirt pulling him closer to me as he fucked the living daylights out of me. When he broke free from the kiss he smiled and for a second, I didn't recognise the man who was fucking me.

"Bravo Bravo," someone clapped from the door. I was so shocked, I was scared shitless. When I looked up I only saw Blair.

"I guess, I owe you $50 brother," he smiled down at me "what a pretty sight you are Miss Jasmine." He said as he stroked my hair. Blair calling me Jasmine made me feel the lunch I had coming back up. I watched as he handed Bernard the fifty bucks. Noticing the puzzled look on my face, Blair explained briefly- that he and Bernard we half brothers and in knowing boys, I should also know they loved to compete. They both made a bet at the beginning of the year as to who could nail me first and by which method; Blair being the bad guy and Bernard being the good guy.

Suddenly Bernard pulled out of me and smiled as he kissed me on the forehead. I was shocked speechless as I saw Bernard hit his brother on the shoulder as he said

"Tag, your turn."

The only thing running through my mind at that point was 

"Why tag team when you can have a threesome," I smiled as I pulled them both in for a three way kiss. 



Love, True Love



I would like to thank Erik Thread, and techsan for their help in editing. I apologize for the mistakes I've made since they last saw it. 

* 

As the handsome young couple walked hand-in-hand down the hallway, an old woman called out, "Oh, what pretty flowers. Who are they for? If you're not in a hurry could you stop for a minute and visit with me? I never have any visitors. Who are you here to see? Would they mind? What brings you here?"

The couple stepped into the tastefully decorated room with a stunning view of the university campus. The young woman looked around the room noting Waterford crystal, oil paintings and other personal treasures then said, "Mike just asked me to marry him and we came here to tell a very special person."

"I don't want to keep you long--it's just that this is such a lonely place, all these old people, and so many don't have all their memories, you know. I remember when I got engaged. Could I tell you about it?"

"Certainly, I would love to hear your story."

The old woman paused, and then her whole body relaxed. "I think it... I think it is time that I finally told someone the whole story."

The years seemed to recede as she began. "I remember it all like it was yesterday. I was quite a catch, a real hot number, if I do say so myself. To start at the beginning, I was a sophomore in college, a cheerleader, and the star quarterback, a junior, had taken me on a few dates." 

Her demeanor changed slightly. She leaned toward the young woman as if she were talking to her oldest confidant. "This is the part I've never told anyone. At the time I thought it was 'True Love.' Now I think it was more a case of one set of hormones calling to another. I was living the dream; we were the cat's meow."

"On that Friday night, he took me to a movie. I don't remember what it was, but afterwards we went to fancy restaurant. I felt like I was out with a movie star, what with people coming to our table and asking for autographs and all. The management was so impressed we had our gourmet dinner for free. We even got a bottle of Port wine. Port is 20% alcohol you know," she said as she arched an eyebrow.

"After the meal he drove us, in the brand new convertible an alumnus had given him, to a dark and secluded place overlooking the lake. There was a full harvest moon and we could see a sailboat leaving a gentle wake. I do believe it was the most romantic view I've ever seen."

Her voice dropped, her face showed a hint of blush. "We started petting, and I was tipsy from all that Port. We went further than I'd ever been before. Third base. You know what that means. He was pushing for more but I told him that I would never, not until I was married." 

"He took off his fraternity pin and said, 'This will have to do until we can get a ring but I can't actually give it to you until the formal pinning ceremony."

"At my school, getting pinned was 'engaged to be engaged.' The whole fraternity would come over to the girl's sorority house dressed in tuxes and serenade the girl, with all her sisters around her on the porch. The brother doing the pinning would be dressed in white tie and tails. The girls all wore formals, and the girl being pinned would wear a new white one, almost like a wedding dress. The brothers would practice the songs for weeks. If it was a good fraternity and sorority, people would come from all over campus just to watch," she said wistfully, her eyes shining at the memory.

The old woman's face changed; it became set, almost hard. She sighed and continued in a soft voice full of regret. "I was so excited about getting pinned that at first I didn't fight as hard as I should have. I kept saying no. I even slapped his face Then I tried to scratch him but he was too strong and he took me right there in the front seat of his car. It was horrible. I bled like crazy and he hurt me so badly I could barely walk when he took me home.

"I cried most of the night. I tried to make excuses for him that I'd led him on, that I'd gotten him too excited to stop. I felt cheap. The only thing I wasn't worried about was my reputation since we were practically engaged.

"I waited all day Saturday for him to call me but he didn't. I tried to tell myself that it was because he had to get ready for the game. Besides we couldn't go out that night because the team was staying at a hotel to review the game." 

" I was devastated when he didn't acknowledge me when he came out on the field. I tried to tell myself that he was just completely focused on the game but I thought I was going to die when he didn't even offer me a ride back to my sorority house after the game." 

Her lips compressed and a touch of indignation crept into her tone. "Then, just before phone curfew, one of his teammates called and asked me for a date. I started to give him a piece of my mind when he told me that my boyfriend was bragging about copping my cherry and said 'I was in play now.' He just wanted to be first in line.

"Well you can just imagine how I felt? I even thought about suicide. I was trying to figure out where I could get some sleeping pills when I was told I had a visitor. Now you have to understand that phone curfew was after regular curfew and having a visitor at that time of night was unheard of. When I got down there, I discovered it was the new student coach. He was a player on last year's team and decided he wanted to learn to be a college coach. At first I was worried that it might be another... you know... but the housemother was standing right next to him and I know she would never let in someone trying to take advantage of me after curfew. 

"The housemother led us to the dining room and then stood guard so we could talk privately. That was unheard of, too. Well, right off the bat he said that the quarterback had bet the whole offensive line a keg that he would have me before the first game. He made them pay off and the drunken story was spread to the whole team. 

"If I hadn't been so mad, I think I would have died on the spot. 

"That's when this young coach told me he'd taken the quarterback out back of the hotel and 'reasoned' with him until he agreed to tell the whole team that he'd used some chicken blood on his car seat so he wouldn't have to buy the beer. 

"The coach called the whole team together and told them he and I were friends. He said I'd told him I'd been trying to find a good way to break up with the quarterback since I got back to school.

"He said he made sure that everyone thought the whole sordid episode was just an attempt to get even. He promised me that I didn't have to worry, my reputation was intact. 

"Then he gave me a funny look and said that the best way to put the rumors behind me might be to find a new date right away. It would make the cover story more believable.

"I was so upset that I just blurted out the whole story. He got very angry and muttered 'breaking that jerk's nose isn't near enough.' Somehow, I ended up in his arms and I just cried my heart out. When I was rational, he said it sounded like rape to him and tried to get me to go to the police and press charges. 

"Well, you know as well as I do that back then, that just wasn't done! I've never been sure why I did what I did next. I guess I just felt so safe in his arms that I stood on tippy toes and kissed him on the cheek." 

She paused, took a sip of water, gave a sly smile and with a wink continued. "The next day after church he brought me flowers we walked and talked. He was a perfect gentleman, and so funny I laughed until I swear I was afraid I was going to wet my pants. For the next two weeks we would talk every day for hours and hours. He was so interested in my ideas, so encouraging, and always so funny. 

"Then just before the next home game, that quarterback - funny, I can't remember his name - said he fell down three flights of stairs. He broke his arm and never played again. When Coach came to see me, his face was all beat up and his knuckles were skinned. I was so grateful that just blurted out that I'd like to go dancing if he felt up to it! You know how shocking it was back then for a girl to ask a guy out. He gave me that funny look again and for a second I was afraid I'd been too forward.

"Instead he hugged me so that my feet left the ground. The first date was wonderful. There hadn't been a whiff scandal about what had happened but I was still a bit skittish about being on a date. We danced fast and on the slow dances he didn't hold me too close. I felt safe and relaxed. From that point on we were inseparable. At first I was afraid he'd push to kiss me too soon. After a while, I was worried I'd have to kiss him! When he finally kissed me, well, if I hadn't been sitting down... Lordy that man could kiss. 

"He was very proper though. Even though he knew I was no longer a virgin, he respected my wish to wait for the wedding! To tell the truth, I think the waiting was harder on me. We'd been dating almost three months when I knew for sure that I was in love for the first time in my life. Coach, that's what I always called him, was a man and everyone I'd previously dated was a boy. It was too good to be true. 

"The ancient Greeks believed that too much happiness among mortals made the gods jealous. I don't know about that, but just before Thanksgiving break I made an appointment with a doctor across town. I had never been late so I was pretty sure I was almost three months pregnant before I went to see him. I borrowed a wedding ring and used an assumed name to have the test. The rabbit died. 

"I had tried to ignore it but it isn't the sort of thing that goes away... You know back then, abortion wasn't an option. I couldn't have done that anyway. I have to tell you it was the darkest time of my whole life. I would rather have been shot dead than to marry that quarterback; you know it's funny but I can't remember his name.

"I decided that I would break up with Coach when I got back from Thanksgiving with my parents. I was hoping that they might help me find a distant relative to stay with. That's how things were done in those days. A girl went to live with her aunt in Kokomo and returned when she got her figure back. Everyone knew, of course, but if you were polite, you pretended not to.

Her eyes turned watery and she paused for a second then reached for a tissue. After a small sniff, she continued. "When I told my parents after Thanksgiving dinner, I said Coach wasn't the father but I was too ashamed to say who it was. My father was furious. I'd wheedled him into being allowed to go to college and he said it had turned me into a 'whore of Babylon,' that I was no longer his daughter. He disowned me! He actually put me and my luggage on the front porch, then locked the door behind me." 

She paused, her face reflecting the old pain. Straightening her shoulders, she gave a tiny shrug of regret and continued. "I didn't have anyplace to go. I had a return ticket to school but the sorority house was closed for the break. I didn't even have enough money to call my roommate; I had to reverse the charges. Margie was also my best friend and drove alone in her folks' car over two hundred miles to pick me up. Young ladies didn't drive after dark back then and she had already had two flats so we were both grateful that her parents had given her enough money for a hotel room. 

"I don't know what I would have done if she hadn't been there for me. I knew there were homes for wayward girls but I didn't have a clue about how to find one or anyone to ask. 

"When I got back to school, Coach came to see me that Sunday evening. I sent Margie down to tell him I'd had a big fight with my parents and I was going to drop out. I told her to tell him that I never wanted to see him again. I just couldn't tell him the whole truth. Margie told him everything. In violation of visiting privileges, he bulled his way up to my room. He insisted that he'd been in love with me since last year but couldn't ask me out when I was dating another. Now he wanted to marry me and make the child his. He wouldn't leave until I agreed to go for coffee and talk. I wanted to marry him but I was afraid I was being selfish; getting married would fix so many of my problems. The truth was that I loved him too much to let him raise a child that wasn't his."

Pursing her lips, she said, "The next week was vexing. He wouldn't take no for an answer. I just thought we'd talked before. Lordy, that man could talk and he was so persuasive! My nobility was weakening. I was down to my last argument. I said a scandal like this would ruin his college coaching career and I just couldn't let him ruin his dream. 

"Then on Wednesday, I told him I learned about the Edna Gladney Home in Ft. Worth. I told him I had arranged to go there on Monday. I said that was my last word. Using every ounce of my resolve, I refused to see him or talk any more." 

The old woman's whole face lit up, the young pretty cheerleader shining through. "Saturday was the last football game of the year. It was November 29, 1941, and it's a day I'll never forget. At halftime just as the teams were headed for the locker rooms Coach's voice boomed over the loud speakers, 'I want to ask the woman I love more than life itself to marry me. She's on the sideline right now and when the teams come out after the half I'm going to go down on one knee and beg. Now, I'm pretty sure what her answer's going to be, but I may need help, so I'm asking y'all to root for me when I kneel!'

With a twinkle in her eye she continued. "Land's sakes, I've got to tell you I've never been so embarrassed in my life. I fled with the other cheerleaders to our changing room. He was waiting for me when I got there. I didn't know if I wanted to kiss him or kill him. He said, 'The whole world is going to think that baby is mine. So if there's any shame I'm going to share it no matter what you say. If you don't marry me, the world will think me an even greater cad.'

"He told me he'd already accepted a coaching job at a small high school across the country, which I knew was a big step down from college. He said that when we got there no one had to know the date on our marriage license, no one here had to know the date on the child's birth certificate. Besides, did I really want to shame him in front of almost twenty thousand people?

"When the half was over he led me out to the middle of the fifty yard line and on one knee he offered me his ring. When I said yes the crowd went crazy. I don't remember another thing about that game, except we won. That was the happiest day of my life. Have you ever heard any thing so romantic? I'd show you my ring but I gave it away for some reason."

The young woman replied with tears in her eyes, "No, I haven't. What happened next?"

The old woman got a puzzled look on her face, "Oh, what pretty flowers, who are they for? If you're not in a hurry could you stop for a minute and visit with me? I never have any visitors. Who are you here to see? Would they mind? What brings you here?"

The young woman took the old woman's hand in hers. "Dr. Ferber, we're here to see you. Yesterday was the last game of the year. I'm a cheerleader and at halftime the announcer said. 'Sixty-four years ago a former player led a cheerleader out to the fifty yard line and proposed just before he went off to war. He was a hero and that cheerleader went on to become tenured and the first woman department head at this university. Now her grandson, a former player, is also about to go to war and he wants to ask one of our cheerleaders a question.' Mike led me out to the fifty-yard line then went down on one knee. When I said yes, almost eighty thousand people cheered for us. He gave me the same ring too, see? I've been so anxious to meet the woman who raised Mike."

The old woman peered at the ring, confused, then smiled sweetly and said. "I don't want to keep you long--it's just that this is such a lonely place, all these old people, and so many don't have all their memories, you know."

Still smiling she closed her eyes and in just a few seconds, she was snoring softly.

Carrie looked around the room, noting the lifetime of treasures Granny had distilled to her most precious. Side by side with valuable oil paintings were the finest examples of refrigerator art frozen in freshness by lamination and mounted on frames finer than the work of the masters. Steuben glass competed unsuccessfully with ceramic objects whose purpose was inscrutable to anyone but a mother. Finally in a place of special honor were two crudely baked small plates. Each had the deep impression of a child's hand-print. It was a room Granny had tastefully decorated by her love.

Seeing the pain in Mike's eyes as watched the sleeping woman, Carrie pulled him into the hallway and said, "Oh, Mike, she never recognizes you, ever?"

"Not since high school. I was able to take care of her at home then but she kept getting worse. When I started college I couldn't take care of her by myself anymore. It was tough, but I picked this place because it's the best." 

He paused, gave Carrie a plaintive look and continued. "No one is ever going to build a statute of her, but to me, she was the greatest of that Greatest Generation!

 

"She overcame so much. She lost that baby three months later. She was alone in a strange city because Coach's parents rejected her, and he had to leave for the war a week after they were married. She didn't see him again until the war was over four years later. It was all so unfair."

Carrie took both his hands in her and looked up at the gentle giant she loved. "He made it up to her though. That letter he wrote, when he found out she lost the baby... Well I know why she kept it. Then turning down a promotion so she could finish her PhD. Considering society's views back then, I can't believe any man would do that for his wife. Especially a man who made the Army his career."

Mike was still struggling to control his emotions. "He truly loved her. Everyone said they were a fairytale couple except my mother was their only child. Granny was 42 when she had her. Mother was only three when Coach had the distinction of being one of the few colonels killed in Vietnam.

"He was the love of her life; she never even looked at another man. But that meant Granny had to raise my mother alone. Then she had to do it all over again when I was born. I can't stand the thought of that happening to you. It's why I want us to wait until I get out of the army to make a baby."

"Mike!" Carrie said sternly, "We've covered this before..." Carrie's tone changed as she changed directions. "Why did she get to raise you? Your father wasn't in the Army. They were just on their way to a restaurant with his parents when they were all killed by a drunk driver. Thank God your car seat saved you. 

"We don't know what the future holds. That's why I want our child now!" 

Seeing the uncertainty on his face she squeezed his huge hands hard. "With all those treasures, what did she put in the place of honor? The little hand-prints plates you and your mother made!" Do you think for one second that she ever regretted getting to raise you? 

Mike sighed, "No, she always said I was God's reward for the good things she'd done in her life." Then he shook his head in wonder. "I don't know where she found the energy, she was in her sixties when she got me. She was still teaching but was always there for me. She was at every school function and all my games. Every summer when I was growing up we'd take vacations that lasted for months, camping in the National Parks, touring in Europe and even hiking some of the Blue Ridge Parkway once. 

"It wore her out but she gave me a wonderful childhood. She accomplished so much, she was so selfless, it really hurts me - here," he said holding his stomach. "When I think that ALL people see now is a bedridden old lady whose memory is gone. I wish I could build that statue for Granny."




Love, True Love



 

Carrie kissed him on the cheek and said, "Mike, most great people never get recognized. Their children are their monuments and I think you're exactly what she hoped to have."

One of the nursing home attendants walked up and said, "Hi, Mike, this must be the girl we've all heard so much about." Putting a hand on his shoulder she turned to Carrie and said. "Mike is our most faithful visitor. It's so hard for the family when they reach this stage, except when Mike is here, she never says a word. But he has been here everyday, rain or shine. He used to borrow flowers from the lobby to take to her. Some days he looked like death warmed over but, he never missed a day. You have to have heard that same story ten thousand times; how do you do it?"

"She doesn't remember me but I look a lot like my grandfather. When she sees me with the flowers, it triggers something. She tells that story exactly the same way she once told it to her best friend. Then she goes to sleep and, I hope, relives her happiest time."

The attendant smiled at Mike, "I'm sure she does. I don't know if anyone's ever told you, but she has that sweet smile of hers for hours after you leave."

Mike's face brightened, "I hope so. That's all I can do for her now, that and listen. I come because I love her. She's the one who taught me about true love. She always said, 'True love isn't flowers and candy on Valentine's day. True love isn't a feeling or an emotion. True love is wanting the very best for someone and being willing to sacrifice so they can achieve it.' How can I do less?"

Taking Carrie in his arms he kissed her lightly. Looking her straight in the eye he said, "That's the way my grandfather loved her. That's the way she always loved me, and sweetheart, that's the way I promise I'll always love you."



Love, Trust and Communication



I originally wrote this first piece as a humorous (short) flash story. I even specifically stated that there was no character development, nothing in depth, nothing serious, written just for fun. Then two things happened and I thought more about the characters, or who I thought the characters could be. 

I attended a welcoming home party for a son of a friend of mine. That son had done two tours in Iraq. The reason that he enlisted in the Marines was that he had no purpose in life, no self control, no vision and more so, no hope or strength to change himself. He was pretty near a complete fuck up. I do believe that this kept him out of jail. He came back (alive) with a good head on his shoulders. It did save him to a point and now he has a good base to go forward. I think that he'll succeed in life.

When I wrote the initial flash story, it was about a young fuck up, and I didn't give him much thought. But I saw this Marine and other Marines over my years. I've known and met Marines from WW2, Viet Nam, Grenada, Kuwait, Afghanistan and Iraq who were in combat. I've known others that were lucky enough to serve in peace time. Some of their battles tended to be with the bottle. I've seen parts of my initial character in them. Some of them came into the Corps with a stability and maturity that I am amazed at, others, the other end of the spectrum.

Going back to my original story, I thought about what kind of person would be that angry that would do something as outrageous to his lover as destroy her things. What came to mind, I put in the words of one of my characters, "a partially broken young man". Not all fuck ups are a complete waste of biological material. Some of them are in process of getting their lives back together. I choose to live with hope whenever I can. It's a choice I make.

There was one last thing that drove this story. In my extended family, I have a couple of relatives that married people from small towns along the Missouri and the Ohio river watersheds. It was always interesting to hear their stories and see them change as they lived 'in the big city or up North' longer. There was also a Marine or two in this batch.

So after saying that there would be no character development, this story popped up. I had to write it down.

==========================================

(The initial flash story)

This is a flash story: no character development, nothing in-depth, nothing serious, written just for fun. I have a sense of humor, twisted maybe, and this is gallows humor. 

*****

In a small meeting room outside a courtroom in a county seat in rural Iowa.

Scott Jones and his three friends were talking with their court appointed lawyer before their hearing. Scott was excited and angry. "She was going to make me look like a fool. She was having 3-ways behind my back. I overheard her on the phone, that bitch. She was talking about it over 10 minutes three times. I heard her do it. Bitch kept saying that they knew how to do it and that they'd be completely satisfied. She put on her little girl voice, so submissive. BITCH. No way she could deny it. We aren't even married and she is cheating on me. I'm not going to be a fool in front of everybody. No way sir. Everybody is going to know not to fuck with me."

With only 5 minutes before this initial hearing, their lawyer attempted to reason with the 4 of them. "It is all in your best interest to be quiet, to look penitent and settle if we can. If you are quiet in this hearing, you can give me an answer on how to go forward when this hearing is over. If you say anything, it will not go well. You all need to make that decision." The bell rang and they all filed into court.

After everyone was seated, the Judge asked the clerk to read the charges. "Mr. Scott Jones is charged with damaging the personal property of Ms. Emma Riley. He vandalized her car, took all her personal property out if their common apartment and sprayed water over everything, including her extensive electronics.

"In a related manner, Mr. Bill Mayer, Mr. Bob Hinckley and Mr. George Bradley are charged with the criminal damage to the property of Max Contractors. They broke windows of his service truck, scratched and defaced the exterior of the truck and sprayed water into the dashboard and engine. Ms. Riley is the office manager at Max Contractors"

The judge looked down at the four men, then at their court appointed attorney. "Counselor, how do these men plead?" "Not Guilty your honor" was the response. Scott was about to speak, but two of his friends pulled him back and put a hand over his mouth. When he finished struggling, the judge asked Scott if he had something to say. With great restraint, Scott shook his head no. He was not happy.

At this point a lawyer asked to approach the bench. Genevieve Hansen, 75, with her walker and an oxygen tank walked to the bench. The judge looked down and warmly greeted her. "Gene, how are you doing? And what brings you out of retirement?"

"Larry, I'm doing fine, as fine as can be with all these medical devices. I tell you, the years of smoking when I was younger, well, I'm just paying for it now. You remember, both Curt and I had bypasses, and that was 10 years after we quit smoking. And it's been 10 years since that. Well anyway, that's water under the bridge. We're still attempting to keep active.

"Back to the matter of this case, I was getting some work done at the house to make it easier for Curt and me to remain in the home. Looking out the window, I saw the contractor's truck being vandalized. I called the police and then started recorded it on my phone. What did we ever do before smart phones?

"Let me get to my formal role here. I am here to represent my clients, Max Contracting and his receptionist, Emma Riley. We are asking for restitution for the damage that these men caused. Emma was a fiancée to Mr. Scott Jones when Mr. Jones and his friends, with no provocation or warning began to viciously verbally attack Ms. Riley and then physically attack the property of Max Contracting and Ms. Riley.

"We are asking the court to award Max Contracting $23,000 in compensatory damages and $30,000 in punitive damages.

"We are asking the court to award Emma Riley $8,000 in compensatory damages and $15,000 in punitive damages.

"In addition, we are asking for an order of protection is placed against these 4 men to not have any contact with any of the litigants or their families."

The four men were now in shock. Getting arrested in a small town is nothing new. Everybody knows everybody's business. But this kind of money? Order of protection? They were all caught red handed, all recorded with smart phones. This was not looking good. 

The judge looked at the four men. "I will grant your request for an order of protection and will set bail at $10,000 each. That should be enough to keep you all out of trouble. Any questions? If you violate this order, you will go to jail and remain there until your trial." All four men shook their heads no. "Court is now dismissed."

Looking over at Gene, he waved her over to the bench. They started talking about old times while the defendants were speaking quietly to their lawyer. Just as the defendants were getting up to leave, the judge asked Gene what kind of work she was getting done at the house, and if she liked the contractors. He needed some work done and work of mouth means everything. "Well, Max Contracting is quiet and professional. The new windows are great. However, they did have some problems with retrofitting the family and kitchen room with a couple of 3-way light switches. They had to call me back three times before they got it right."

Scott turned white as a sheet, fainted and fell to the floor.

(End of Flash story)

==========================================

Getting back to work after lunch, I saw a message to call Genevieve Hansen. Mrs. Hansen was my and Max's lawyer when Scott viciously attacked my belongings and the company's property.

"Mrs. Hansen, what can I do for you?" It was the first time I spoke with her in 5 months. After Scott and his friends damaged my things and the firm's truck, somehow she got a settlement in days and the whole mess was over in three weeks. All the damages were compensated and I never had to speak with my ex-fiancé Scott again.

"Emma, please call me Gene."

"Ok Gene." It still felt funny to talk with a very mature adult, and a lawyer to boot. She would have been older than my grandmother, and to call her by her first name? "What can I do for you? Do you need any additional work done on your house?"

"No, Max has done all that we need for right now. You widened the doorways, installed new electrical, added air conditioning and replaced the windows. We're all set on that front. I'm calling you as your lawyer. Could you stop on by the house in the next day or so? There are some issues I'd like to discuss. The issues are nothing to be worried about. I'm home most of the time. Whats convenient for you?"

"I'll be there today at 5 PM after work if that fits."

I arrived at Gene's house just as it was getting dark. Winter would soon be here. I didn't even need to ring the doorbell as Gene met me at the door. She invited me in and proceeded to feed me dinner. I wasn't expecting this at all. Finally after dinner, we went into the living room. She wheeled her walker with her oxygen tank to one end of the sofa while I sat at the other end.

"Emma, I got a call from Bill Brooks." She paused, "From the look on your face, you have no idea who he is. He's an old friend of mine at the county seat. He is a social worker that does individual and family counseling. We worked with some of the same clients for several years."

At this point I'm really confused, and I guess that it showed on my face. "Let me continue. He has been seeing a client for the past 6 months, and this client wanted to give you a letter. But he can't. The client has given Bill and me permission to speak with you about it." She looked directly at my eyes, "His client is Scott."

I immediately became angry. "Is that why you invited me here? To talk about that jerk? I wanted to be finished with him and he is popping up in my life again?" I was really pissed, but I needed to be respectful. I could cuss like a truck driver, but I needed to be respectful.

"Emma, I understand that you are angry with Scott. He did an awful thing to you, and it was without provocation. I get that. But as your counselor, and as a woman who has seen 75 years, over 40 in court, please hear me out."

I was always taught to be respectful, not necessarily be a patsy or a pushover, but to be respectful. "Yes ma'am."

She grimaced at me for that one, but continued. "Scott has been seeing Bill Brooks since the day after the first hearing. He's been religious about it and hasn't missed a session, even when the tornado hit a couple of months ago."

This was something new to me. Scott only finished things that were very important to him. His history is littered with half completed projects.

"Emma, from what Bill has told me, Scott has been very serious and has been working hard. Part of this working hard is to apologize to the people that he has wronged. Normally I don't get much involved with these matters after the cases are settled, but two people changed my mind. One was Bill. The other was Scott.

"I've never told you what happened after that first hearing. I was visiting with the judge, an old friend of mine. He asked me about how Max was for getting work done. I mentioned the great window work, then having to call back three times because of the three way switches."

I remember those switches. The worker was great with windows, but replacing a three-way switch requires some thought. The wiring is different and he just couldn't get it right.

"You know that Scott fainted at the courthouse. What no one knows is that he heard me, this 75-year-old-with-a-walker-with-an-oxygen-tank me talk repeatedly about three ways." She paused and looked me directly in the eye. "Emma, he thought you were being unfaithful to him."

I froze. Now it started to make some sense. I thought he became unstable and just started to attack me. I had no idea it was about anything else.

"Emma, the letter he wrote is an open letter and both Bill and I have read it. With the order of protection and your history, there was no way that he could have approached you. This is why I asked you to come here. I cannot and will not pressure you read the letter, but as a 75 year-old that has seen the good and bad of life, I counsel you to read it. Just the little bit of discussion that we had today I think has done some good."

Gene pulled an envelope out of the basket and handed it to me. "Emma, it will not hurt you, I promise."

I reached out and took the letter from her hand and slowly opened it. It was in Scott's handwriting. Actually, it was his speed printing, that I could read. I could never read his writing. It was dated 2 weeks ago.

"Dear Emma,

I hope with all my might that those two people will be able to get this letter to you to read. I have to trust to their goodness, and yours.

First and foremost I need to apologize to you for my inexcusable behavior. I do mean "not able to be excused". I acted like a real jerk and you were completely right to do whatever you did or could do to protect yourself from someone like me. I caused you significant and needless grief that I am sorry you went through because of my thoughtlessness and disregard for who I knew you really were.

I thought you were being unfaithful to me, and we were not even married yet. It flipped a switch in me and I went off the wall. I damaged you and you did not deserve anything that I caused to happen to you. There is no way that I can undo that damage.

I have destroyed the only person that I really cared about, because I was stupid. I should have spoken with you, I should have trusted you. Instead, I flew off the handle. I felt like I was being abandoned again. I never spoke about it, but I have no idea who my father is, and my mother abandoned me when I was 10. That is why my grandparents raised me. The death of my grandmother last year shook me to the core. These are issues that I have been working on in counseling the past several months. Trust and communication.

After I realized that I had made a totally wrong assumption as to what I thought you did, I did my best to immediately make financial amends. Amends to both you and Max, as well as my friends that believed me. The only assets that I own were the farmland that my grandparents left me. I immediately went to the bank and tried to take out a mortgage to cover the complete cost of the damage I was responsible for, the actual and punitive. I had my lawyer present my complete offer to Mrs. Hansen.

I want to thank you or whoever did not totally accept my offer. You and Max accepted actual damages only. I was able to only borrow the funds I needed from the bank. The leases on the farmland will cover the cost of the mortgage and taxes. I cannot thank you enough for that. I did not deserve any kindness from you.

Further, because you both dropped the charges, I was able to immediately enlist in the Marines. I will be in California in a week from today.

I want to thank you for all that you have done for me, as ungrateful as I have acted toward you. I will respect your privacy from this point on and do not plan to contact you again. You will be free of me.

Take care,

Scott"

I was wiping tears from my eyes when I finished and looked up. Gene was wiping her eyes too. "Gene, he's been gone a week, hasn't he?"

"Emma, it was his request. He didn't want to give you a chance to see him before he left for boot camp. He said that you were starting a new life, he just had to close the chapter on his old one.

"What are you feeling now?"

"That filthy bastard, that f..." then I caught myself before I could finish the f word. "That jerk. He writes me a letter, runs away and doesn't even leave a return address so I could b..." then I caught myself again.

"Listen Emma, just say what's going to come out of your mouth. I've heard it all, I've said it all. OK?"

"I don't get a chance to even bitch him out for being a fucking jerk. No god damn forwarding address."

"Emma, what else is going on inside of you?"

"He never told me about his parents. He would just fluff it off saying he never remembered them. I always wondered about why he was raised by his grandparents."

Then I looked Gene straight in the eye. "What is this about accepting damages only? I didn't know anything about this."

"Emma, after I saw Scott faint at the court house, I called in my sources. I found all about Scott, the whole story - Grandparents, mother, finances, who he really is and his history. Remember, I know each and every school teacher in these three counties, all the judges and most of the cops. I didn't find a jerk when I looked. I found a partially broken young man. When his lawyer came back with the offer, I called the bank and found that he would have to sell everything, and he'd still be in debt. He was not shirking his responsibility. He wasn't trying to get out of anything. 

"He went to counseling on his own. Well, I did have someone he trusted suggest it to him. This is small town America, we know each others business. We also don't play hardball. By the way, I also know about you too. You're a great person and I could not see you wanting to take advantage of this. Would you?"

She had me there. She had me there in spades. "Ok, you got me to not rake him over the coals financially, and by dropping the charges, he got into the Marines. I still have unfinished business with him. We're not talking about getting back together, just some unfinished business."

"Emma, do you know what you want to say?"

Once again, she had me and I took several attempts to say something, but I always stopped after a word or two.

"Emma, why don't you think about it? You don't need an answer today, or ever if need be. Just think about it. I'll find a way to get his address and at least you can send him back a letter if you wish.

"I want to share something about my life. I look like an upstanding country lawyer. I used to be 22 also. Curt my husband and I had a pretty lousy relationship for a while, not unlike you and Scott. What I learned was that when people own who they are and what they do, you can have a relationship. It may be friendship, it may be love, and it may be tolerance or an accepting of people that are very different from you. I don't know. Scott did something real stupid, and he owned it, he attempted to fix it and he is respecting the distance you wanted from him. I can give you dozens of names of people in these counties that didn't do anything like that."

Now it was my turn to feel guilty, and I didn't do anything wrong. Gene was right. I needed to think about all of this before I did anything. For one thing, with him in the Marine Corps, he was going to have 3 to 4 years of deployments over the US and the world. There was going to be little chance for me to see him, unless that is, he flunks out of basic.

It took me several weeks to get my head around what I was feeling now. Scott was hot-head about some things, but he was pretty calm about most. He is a standard guy, doesn't talk much. 

But I do know that he cared about me. Gene was right, he owned what he did. Right away he attempted to fix things. Even to the point of bankrupting himself. 

He fainted because he realized he was so over the top wrong? How can I be around a guy like that, being so wrong and acting on it? When we were living together, he was considerate to me. I remember Gina telling me about her boyfriend Mark. Beers, smoking weed, PlayStation, and never helping around the house. Scott was not an 8 and recreate guy. But does any of this matter? He is gone for 4 years now. Anyway, I'm not talking about getting back together. Still, it really hurt what he did, and I can kind of understand what he was feeling when he went off the deep end. Can I ever trust somebody like that?




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 02



"A woman left lonely, will soon grow tired of waitin' she'll do crazy things, yeah, on lonely occasions."

I felt someone stand in front of me blocking out the spotlight.

Scott.

The music stopped. Nothing else in the world now existed. The entire bar went silent. He was holding out his arms to me. His forearms were heavily scared. He had a large scar on the right side of his neck. 

"Emma, can I at least get a hug?" 

I grabbed him and squeezed him in a bear hug while everybody clapped. I broke the embrace when I saw standing behind him another marine. She was looking closely at us. I thought I lost Scott, I thought I found him, and now I know I lost him for sure. At that point, I looked at him and the woman Marine. He smiled at me. "Emma, I'd like to introduce Mary. Mary, this is Emma. Let's sit down away from the music." Mary looked at us and said "Scott, you've got a lot of catching up to do with Emma, I'll mill around." 

Gina and our friends immediately came over and included Mary. They started by getting her a drink on the house. It's a custom here. Even underage soldiers get free beer here. I've even seen the county police buy sometimes. Mary disappeared in 30 seconds leaving Scott alone with me. 

By this time, I've been able to gather my wits again from the roller coaster ride. "So once again, you can't do things half way, can you? You really know how to make an entrance. How'd you find me here?"

"We stopped by Gene and Curt's house first. Didn't she tell you I was going to be in town soon?" I nodded my head no. "Well, she should of. She said that you got all my stuff from her garage. Thanks for taking care of that. Max did some great work on the ramp and door. I heard that you did the design work on it."

At that point, he reached over and held my hand. By instinct, I pulled away. Scott was a little shocked, but our attention was immediately torn away. Gina had been singing Respect by Aretha Franklin when the entire bar got quiet. Gina's ex walked in looking straight at her. He was angry and he looked like he had been drinking. His clothes reeked of weed, the locally grown kind. Mark has been out of work lately. 

The way he was swaggering and the anger on his face didn't look good at all. I glanced at Scott and saw that he was making hand signals to Mary. They both moved slowly, Mary behind Mark, and Scott in front where Mark could see him. Mark's voice kept getting louder and his arms were flailing. Life had not been good for him lately. Because of his alcohol and drug use, he was out of work, he was out of their apartment and his mother disowned him. He was in the low rent trailer park that even the migrant farm workers without families wouldn't go to unless they had to. 

Scott knew Mark from school before. When Mark really started to scream at Gina, Scott placed his body between them, allowing her to escape. Scott started to talk quietly to Mark. Trying to engage him in a conversation and keep his attention. It became apparent that Mark was not as much under the influence as we thought he was. It was more of his rage that he was vomiting. It took a few minutes, but Scott got Mark to calm down a bit. 

Scott was talking with Mark as a person, somebody who had lost it all. We saw tears rolling down Mark's cheeks. I honestly felt sorry for him. He caused his own problems, but he was still a person that was at the end of his rope. I remember Scott writing about his getting near to hurting himself. That desperation we could easily see in Mark. I saw the echo of it in Scott's face too. 

After Mark had recovered a bit, he realized that he showed weakness in front of everybody. In a split second, he freaked. Mark immediately made a feeble lunge toward Gina. 

Mary had him face down on the ground with his arms painfully pinned in a second or two. Scott had his belt off and started to tie Mark's hands together. Mark was thrashing and crying in rage and shame and anger and hurt. 

While Scott pulled Mark to his feet, Officer Bob Harris walked on over. The bar owner called the police when he saw Mark come in. Officer Harris had walked into the bar just as Mark was being taken down. "Scott, you weren't due here for another week or two. Sorry to have to put both of you to work. You guys are good. We can talk later, I'll take him and process him now." Scott introduced Mary and asked Bob if he could speak to him in private. After a proper set of handcuffs were placed on Mark, Bob and Scott went into the back room while Mary stood guard. 

All of us in the bar were in total shock while we waited. Mary kept Mark seated on the floor so that he wouldn't be a physical problem to anyone. He sat there and cried. Mary asked Gina to stay outside with a couple of her friends for a few minutes.

About 5 minutes later, the officer and Scott walked Mark out back behind the bar to a picnic table. Scott asked the owner to let them have some privacy. Everyone was asked to stay inside and Gina and her friends came back in.

It took about 30 minutes until Scott came back in. We asked what happened but Scott said that no one was going to be arrested tonight. It was past 10 and everyone was asked to go home. As we were walking to the cars, another squad and an ambulance pulled up. Then we saw Mark's mother pull in next to the ambulance.

At this point, I looked at Mary and Scott. "I know that it's late and you need a place to stay the night. I still have enough room at the apartment for all of us. Will you both spend the night?"

Scott looked at Mary, then at me. "Well to be honest with you, we had made some other arrangements, but we really don't want to bother them now as it's late. The thing is Mary and I have to leave early in the morning. We have to get to Oregon day after tomorrow. Mary's getting married, and she can't be late. I hate to bother you, but we are also famished and I know the stores are closed here now, but could we beg a meal off of you?"

My eyes popped open, "Mary, you're getting married?" then I looked at Scott, "And you're not?" 

"Scott, You mean she's not your...."

"Well, we were for a little bit, but not for a while. She's been my best buddy for a couple of years. Emma, can we continue this after we get back to your apartment, and we get something to eat and drink? I really need a drink."

It took 10 minutes to drive to the apartment. I got 10 minutes alone of trying to digest all that went on, who was who, who was with whom or however you say things like that. Then I have to feed them. Ok, there are frozen pizzas in the freezer, there's some MGD in the fridge, there's always stuff for sandwiches. I emptied out the damn refrigerator this week and I get the most important company in four years. How am I ever going to do this? He wasn't going to stay with me tonight, oh, I just don't know anymore.

Scott had the door open. He and Mary were taking things out of the car into the apartment. That means he still kept a key. He kept that key for four and a half years. By the time I got to the door, Mary called out, "I got dibs on the couch. Is that really all his stuff in the spare bedroom?" Scott was flipping through the phone book and started ordering from the local pizza place while he pulled the beers out of the fridge. Nice of him to make himself at home. He keeps a key and he's drinking my beer.

Suddenly Scott yells out "Do you want the normal garbage pizza with everything on it or do you want anything special on it?" Mary yells out "What ever gets here quickest." I yell out "Ask him to bring a case of something good from his back room, I'm buying." The local pizza place doesn't have a license to sell beer, but he does have his private stash, if you're nice to him.

It takes about 10 minutes for them to settle down. I assemble some munchies as they spread themselves over the living room. I finally walk in to see only Mary sitting there, sipping her beer. Smiling she said Scott was inspecting the spare bedroom. He comes walking out with a bemused smile on his face. "Did I really have that much stuff?"

"Actually Scott, before it came here, I went through it at Gene's garage. I did get rid of a couple of things that could be totally classified as junk. I let Curt make the final decision. So if there is anything missing, don't blame me."

"Emma, after the way I treated you that day, I am grateful for anything you saved. But to be honest with you, there're going to be couple more things that have to go." 

That was when Mary popped up, "Did he really do that to your stuff? I kept thinking that he took after Mark Twain and spun a real tale. Then he told me about how he was outclassed by the Mother Mary Monster Truck. The guy I took down, was that him? What happened out back?"

Scott looked at me and said, "You gave me a get out of jail free card when I was stupid. Remember? Well, Mark there was another lost soul. I talked him down mostly in the bar. After Mary took him down, doesn't she do good work Emma?" I nodded and smiled at Mary. "Well, with Bob at his side explaining the criminal justice system, he got spooked. He's lost. He's been doing drugs and alcohol for a long time. At the wedding, he was completely disowned. His mother has been fighting with him about his drug use for years. That's why she did the Mother Mary on his stuff. Bob and I called up my old therapist, he is the tri-county social worker on call for cases like this. And he suggested a rehab facility to start off with. So a deal got cut. It was harder to get his mom back than it was to turn Mark. She pretty much had it with him. I got on the line after the cop spoke with her and told her that Mark finally it bottom and was looking at jail time. This is now the time to do something. When Mark got on the phone with her and asked her to go with him to rehab, well, she folded. I guess that he never asked for help before. By the way, how is Gina doing?"

"I was talking with her, but it was Mary that did the heavy lifting. You took her on the side. What did you say?"

"I told her that Mark was looking at two options. Either going to go to jail and she'd have to put an order of protection against him. And she needed to keep pepper spray with her at all times when he got out. Or Scott here was going to get him into therapy. The way Mark broke down on the bar floor, I thought that Scott was going to be successful."

By this time, we were starting our second beer. Scott finished his can and grabbed a third. "I'm not complaining about this, but let me guess. You don't drink a lot of beer here? Do you?"

"If I would have known you were going to be here, I would have been stocked up with the better stuff. I take a trip once a year and hit some place big, and come back with better beers, a couple cases of wine and a case of hard stuff. It's been a while since I stocked up."

The doorbell rang and the pizza showed up, along with a case of Lienenkugel. When he saw that it was a pair of Marines, he said that it was his pleasure and refused payment for everything. 

As we devoured the pizza, I kept looking at Scott, and his scars. I hope there was going to be time later to hear about those scars. "You guys said that you were leaving tomorrow. What time? I don't want you to be late for your wedding." 

Mary piped up. "It's more than just me, Scott here is standing up for it. He's the best man, kind of. We both have to be there. It won't be a formal wedding, just in my parent's back yard. He won't be in his full uniform. All three of us are out or will be in a week or two." That was when she looked at me and said, "would you like to come to my wedding? Join us on this road trip? Scott has told me about you over the years. I feel like you're a family friend. Is that OK with you Scott?"

Remembering the size of the car they drove up in, I was amused. "I'd like that, but you've got a very small car that's very filled. I don't think it can happen." Scott held up his finger for the conversation to stop as he tried to finish a wedge of pizza. I looked at Mary. "Isn't it a rule that you have to ask a question AFTER somebody starts eating?" Scott threw a pillow at me while we chuckled at his expense and he furiously munched and swallowed the pizza.

"As I quite righteously feel that I'm being ambushed by both of you ladies as I eat, let me respond. Yes, I think that it would be great that Emma joins us. We would finally get some time with each other in person. Yes, the car is small and loaded, but I could remove everything that I don't need and store it in the warehouse of the spare bedroom. I was originally planning on being here in two weeks anyway before Gene and Curt both urged Mary and me to see you. That was where we were going to spend the night. In and out and then I'd be back again after the wedding. We really don't have much time. What do you all think?"

Mary stood up and headed toward the door. "Start now so we can relax with those Liennes" she said as she disappeared out the door. I guess that I didn't have a choice. I don't. I don't want him out of my sight and I'm going to hear more about his life and see his friends of these last four years.

It took about 30 minutes to empty the car in the parking lot, sort out what was to go into the house, and then repack. After a few minutes, I picked up a load for the spare bedroom. Mary said that I needed to pack my things that I'd need for the trip. I came back out to ask a few questions about what to bring when Scott was in the house. Mary quietly told me to bring a wrap for the pool, a bathing suit and types of clothing that I would fit in with everybody else. Then she held my hand and whispered to include what ever I use for protection would be a good thing too. Just then Scott popped out of the front door and she started complaining loudly about his stuff, pointing out this and that to me. I was starting to feel better about this whole mess that popped back into my life hours ago.

I sat down at the computer and sent an email to Max letting him know that I was taking my vacation. We're in a slow season right now, so it wasn't going to be an issue. I sent one off to George to have him take my spot for the doctor's run for Curt for Wednesday of next week. I followed it up with one off to Gene and Curt letting them know what was happening. I got back and they were two beers ahead of me and they were feeling no pain. They were also exhausted. I got Scott to go to the bedroom while I got out a spare set of sheets and towels for Mary. For Scott, I grabbed some clean towels and gave it to him. While Scott showered, I made up the couch for Mary, then I washed and put the dishes away. By the time I was finished, she had finished her shower and was out like a light. He was too. 

After my shower, I went to the bedroom and lay next to him. This was our bed once. I was feeling the heat from his body. I listened to his breathing, I remember his wonderful smell. You can never forget your lover's smell. And now, I'm wondering what I was getting back into. I slowly fell asleep as all sorts of questions raced across my mind.

It was four hours of sleep. Just four hours. Those guys got over four hours, I got way under four hours. I'm not good at way under four hours. I think I understand zombies a bit better.

Mary said that we should just jump in the car and go, but I suggested taking 10 minutes to pull together all what ever I could for eating in the car. The perishable food would have gone to waste and we were going to need something to eat. A small cooler, a roll of paper towels, cold pizza for breakfast to go and a 6 pack of coke for the drivers. We were out in 9 minutes.

Mary took the wheel at first while Scott and I slept. She put a good 120 miles behind us in a little under two hours, only 1,800 more to go. She was starting to nod, and we needed gas. A quick fill up, a washroom break, two cups of coffee from the Mickey D's, and we were off. Mary stretched out in the back and was actually quietly snoring in 10 minutes.

I looked at Scott and realized that we may not be physically alone, but with Mary sleeping, we were. This was the first time we were alone and awake in so many years. I had to break the tension.

"Does she always snore like this? I giggled and punched his arm lightly. He started to stammer at first, then realized what I was doing and said, "No, normally I'm the one on the couch." and he broke out into a chuckle.

"Scott, I've go so much to ask you, so much I want to know, so much I want to tell you. And you figured out a way to keep me by your side for days. Don't think that I haven't figured that out."

"Emma, it wasn't my original thought. I can't take credit for it. You have to blame Gene and Curt, then Mary here. We were only there for about 20 minutes when Gene brought up this idea, and all of them wouldn't stop talking about it until I agreed. As I said, I was coming back in two weeks and I knew that we would have all the time in the world then."

"Scott, they told me that they would never break a confidence. They never said a word about you, they would listen and ask questions and hear what I felt, but they never told me about you. I know that they had their plans. Getting me on this trip had to be one of those plans. What do you think?"

"She and Curt did a lot for me. Starting from the very beginning. After being arrested those years ago, this scared man-child decided to grow up. He lost his best friend and lover, because he was stupid." 

"WAIT A MINUTE. I am not going to hear you say you were stupid. I can hear you say a lot of other things, but I will not hear stupid." 

"Ok, this man-child was scared and immature. Does that work for you?" I nodded and he continued. "I learned a lot in those therapy sessions. Common courtesy was one thing. I sent Gene a thank you note. The therapist suggested it, so I did it. What surprised the hell out of me was that she wrote back. I quickly realized that it was not a polite write back. I would read and reread her letters. I didn't know if it was because she took pity on me or what. She became a friend when I just lost my other one. She was the one that helped me to stop depending on the bottle in those first couple of months. She's been looking out after me. 

"You know, she would ask me about you, but she never told me what to do or anything you ever said. It was a shock when I asked you to help and her cover was blown." At that we both started to laugh. 

"Scott, you said that they were filling in the roles of grandparents. Somebody interested in you but having no responsibility for you." He nodded and quietly added "How long do you think that they'll be able to be independent? I don't know much about that, but my buddies have told me stories about their grandparents declining."

"I really don't know. I think that the next step is going to have to be a live in. The Gene and Curt group is there every second or third day, but that is not going to be enough. Their house does have a den that can be a small bedroom for a live in. I do think that they have enough funds to cover for that, but I don't know how much they've saved."

At that, we both became quiet, thinking of those two. "Scott, you do know that they had no children. I got the feeling that the trouble in their marriage was during their child bearing years, but I'm not sure."

We heard a little stretching and groaning in the back seat, and the soft snoring came right back. We both chuckled. 

"Emma, I know that it's important to talk about Gene and Curt. I think we can both see that they've been helping us for a while. We can see that they've been guiding us back together. But we aren't doing something else." He reached over and took my hand in his. "We're not talking about us. I know that we're going to have a lot of time together in the next week or two, but right now, we only have a little bit of time before Mary wakes." I nodded and squeezed his hand, his scarred hand and said "Do you want to go first? or me?"




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 02



"So Mister, as you've seen the world, what did you miss the most being away for Iowa? It had to be the unlimited miles of corn, wasn't it?"

"Well, there was only one corny thing I missed." He cleared his throat and looked out forward. "I missed you." I was drinking a bit of coffee and it suddenly decided to go down the wrong pipe and I started to cough. "Easy miss, I didn't say that was all I missed." Then he did turn to me and pulled my head over for a quick full kiss, at 75 miles per hour. It was our first kiss in over 4 and a half years.

"Thank you for that kiss, and your words, and that you didn't crash the car on us. You never answered my last letter, and part of me was worried, and then resigned about it. It's been a yo-yo. Even last night, you show up, then I see Mary, and I do remember that name and you being on a beach with her?" Scott nodded yes. 

"You had the key to get back into the apartment. You held it all these years?" He nodded yes again. "But you were going out with others, like I was. What made you come back? Even the cop said that you were going to be seeing him in a couple of weeks. You had lots of plans."

"Emma, some things were up in the air with me, some were still being fought out inside of me, but the biggest one we haven't dealt with yet. One of the reasons that I allowed them to brow beat me into submission into having you come is that the scared little boy is still around. He needed to see you, feel your breath, see your expressions, see those non-verbal non-written parts of you. The other thing, you've only see the scars on my face and arms. I've got more, but it isn't pretty." 

My face must have become very worried before he added "Don't worry, nothing mechanical was touched." My face still was worried when he added, "There are some on the outside of my hip, not the inside." I laughed after it registered what he said.

"What happened in these past 6 months? We were going pretty good and then nothing out of you. And you came back with these beauty marks too."

"You can say that I got caught up in my work. A mortar round came into the compound that we were guarding. I caught a little bit of it. I was at a hospital in Germany for two months, then I went back to my unit. I wasn't hurt very bad at all." At that point, I grimaced, and I think he caught it. "It was more on the inside that I was fighting. You kept asking me what were my goals, what did I want to do. I had two months of not working to think about it. When your letter came in saying you wanted to make a go of it again, it made me really think things over.

"Mary and Jenny helped me a lot, as well as a couple of letters from Gene too. When I left Iowa and we started to write to one another, we were pretty clear that we weren't tied to one another. I didn't possess you and I think that I successfully kept that moat between us. 

"It didn't mean that I didn't care, didn't feel anything about it. I had to grow up and be independent of you. Life was moving on. I took joy mostly in you finding new people, and I shared a little of the people I found. Mary was a great lover, but she was not for me. She's a much better friend, an arms length friend now. You'll understand later.

"There's been lots of changes in the past four years to me. I'm the same guy to a point, and to another point I've really changed." 

"Scott, your second letter was different, you were different. What did I say to you then? Something about 'who are you and what have you've done with Scott?' Then yesterday, talking down Mark at the bar, and then keeping him out of jail and into rehab. You've grown so much, but I still see and have been hearing the Scott I fell in love with. He's still there too and ..."

"Emma, you've go to understand. I'm not talking down to you now. Believe me. I've been out in the world. We grew up in small town Iowa. The world is not like small town Iowa. I'm comfortable with the world, I've grown to like it. It's become part of me. What I don't know is how you will feel about it. It'll be a stretch for you."

"Wait a minute. You don't think I'm big enough for it?"

"I'm concerned, that's all. You're here, you're along for the ride. You're going to see lots of different kinds of people, see lots of different kinds of things, eat things that you never even heard of before. I know you'll be ok. If it gets a little bit too much, just let me know, OK?"

I'm starting to get a little pissed now. I'm not feeling trusted or respected. "Ok, just give me one thing that I'm going to have a problem with."

"Mary is going to marry a friend of mine. Her name is Jenny."

"AND YOU WERE GOING TO TELL ME WHEN?"

Scott just looked at me with a little bit of pain in his eyes. "Listen Scott, I'm ok with Mary and this Jenny. I'm pissed about you not letting me know. Got it?" 

"Emma, Jenny's African American too." He paused and gripped my hand. "There are going to be more things that aren't like it was where we grew up." He paused again. "I don't think that there will be any more big bombshells like this, but be real. We haven't had the time and the quiet to talk, have we?" 

I looked at Scott, then glanced at Mary sleeping in the back seat, then back to Scott. "OK, I'm busted. My turn to overreact." I was quiet for a couple of minutes then I tugged his arm. When he looked over, I planted a kiss on his lips. "You're telling me I'm in for a wild ride, aren't you?" He nodded. "Is there anything I should be worried about between you and me?" That is when he smiled and shook his head no. "Anything between us we can work out. We've been doing that for a couple of years now. I think that we can work out just about anything." I melted into his shoulder, and fell asleep. When he hit the 200 mile mark, it was time for a washroom break and a driver change. It's been over 4 years since I drove stick. I hope that I don't look like a complete fool starting off in first gear.

This time I drove and Scott fell asleep in the back seat. I wasn't that uncomfortable about Mary. I've been hit on by guys before, I don't know about a woman though, never met a lesbian before. Well, any that I knew were that way. He trusts her, I trust him, I trust her? 

We were driving along with Scott fast asleep. When she offered a piece of hard candy, she spoke to me directly. "I'd like to apologize to you. While you and Scott were talking, I woke a little from my sleep and over heard a few things. I did get back to sleep, but the damage was done."

"Mary, you just made talking with you easier." I didn't know how to broach the subject of her marriage partner. All I could think is that line from the movie, 'Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore.'

"Emma, penny for your thoughts?" 

I think I know why Scott likes her. "Mary, how many bills do you have?" We both began to chuckle a little. "Where do you want to start? Scott told me your getting married to Jenny. You've been Scott's lover, then a great friend of his. You and Gene and Curt talked Scott into taking me along. I feel like a country bumpkin. I've never in my life been talked into driving straight through to the west coast for a wedding. I've never been out of Iowa. I'm only stopping now because either I'm going to run out of breath from speaking or hyperventilate out of embarrassment. Does that do it for you?" I followed this with a nervous laugh and a glance sideways. She was chuckling as she smiled at me.

"Emma, where do you want me to start? We got hours and Scott is going to sleep like a baby. He's been exhausted and he only started to calm down after we got to your apartment last night. He's been one worried man before we got there." She pulled out the cold coffee and offered me a sip. 

"Why don't you fill me on what ever you want to fill me in on. I'm sure sooner or later we'll get to know one another, and it won't seem so strange. But before you really start, can you tell me a little about Scott being worried. I'd like to know why, that is if you aren't breaking any confidences. Please don't break any confidences with me, OK?"

"Emma, even with all I and even Gene and Curt told him to bring you along, he broke back into who he was 4 and a half years ago. Slipped right back where he was with you then. This is a guy who held his ground in firefights and didn't finch. He comes home and starts doubting himself. Either you are one powerful woman or he hasn't worked out everything that happened before. I suspect both."

"We have a lot of memories here, good and bad. Not physically talking for 4 and a half years has cost us something."

"Emma, don't sell anyone, including yourself short. We're all human. I also ran away from home to join the Marines. I was left at the alter by a guy that was more scared than I was. Whole town was there, there for nothing. I met Scott over a year after I was in Europe and we kind of clicked. I'm sure you know this, or at least I hope so, he was a good lover. Made me feel like a woman again, pretty adventurous guy."

I was glad she was looking forward just then. We weren't that adventurous then.

"But he knew something I didn't. We drifted as lovers and then called that quits. But we did stay on as friends. He listened to me go through a series of relationships. Don't let anybody fool you. The service is not a great place to find a partner. It's more like junior high. Lots of bed swapping, bruised egos... the whole bit. 

"Scott said something to me one day that floored me. He said that I really liked this one woman. I thought of her as a close friend, but I heard what he was not putting into words. It freaked me out and I denied it for weeks. Then I came to realize that I did have strong emotional feelings for her. After I acknowledged that to myself, I realized that I felt physical feelings for her too. We were together for about a year until she shipped back to the states. She's home, married to her high school sweetheart now. She has a baby son now. It hurt when she left. But that is how it goes in the service.

"Then I met Jenny. We were together for about 18 months when she was discharged. She kept calling me, sending letters, we were skyping weekly. She wanted to keep our relationship alive, and I did too. By the way, my father is a Methodist minister, but he can't wed us. Against their rules. But he'll be celebrating with us. You'll meet him, he's a pretty great guy.

"And one more thing, if that jerk in the back seat tries to tell you a story how I flinched his girl friend, just hit him in the arm and tell him to come up with a better story. I saw her first." At that we both laughed.

We had a good time connecting. She told me about some of the things that Scott did and didn't do. She told me about her life in the Corps and who she was. I got to ask questions, questions I don't ever think I would ask in my life. She fell in love, first two times with men, next two times with women. Love is the most important thing in the world. She's a one person woman.

We got to talk about the wedding. "Emma, I do hope that you like dancing. Scott is pretty good and he was in demand when ever there was a dance. We taught him to waltz and polka. My Aunt Natalia, she married my mother's brother John. She's from southern Poland, the Tatra mountains. Yep, she's a Polish hillbilly." She chuckled a bit. My late Uncle John was from Eastern Kentucky hill country, Hazard county, coal country. "Well, she got everybody in the family to polka. So I carried it on. Scott would never get a chance to sit down." 

Oh shit, I froze, and she saw it. "Emma, did I just hit a nerve? You got very quiet." 

"I..I...I can't do that fancy stuff. Outside of some country line dancing and swaying together on slow tunes, I just don't do anything like that. We don't really dance like that around home. There's going to be no time to learn any of that stuff."

"Wait a minute. Can you count to three? You can polka. Or four? You can waltz. If you can do either, I'll get somebody to walk you through it. Scott is going to be busy at times, and I think that I can find somebody to give you a couple of lessons then. You game?" 

"Yes, I'm game." I was quiet for a minute. "Why do you keep pulling me out of a hole? You're getting married, you have more important things to take care of then me."

"Scott talked about you over the years. He is my friend and I want him happy. And you do know that old but very true saying, 'Ain't no body happy if mamma ain't happy'. Besides, I want a great wedding for everybody. More fun, less stress."

Mary and I talked for another hour without stopping. I got to hear about who Scott was in this other life of his. He was still the same Scott; loyal, funny, caring, honest and straight forward. He was also a lot less uptight. And now, he's much more mature. He's much more outspoken than he ever was with me. That second letter I got from him, the one where he asked to be friends without strings attached was the start of him changing from the old Scott. He was being direct. Mary gave me enough stories to see that he really had changed for the better in that. Still, why was he so scared to act that way with me? What did I do? What do I do?

Then Mary started to ask questions about me, who I was, what I did and thought. She really cares about Scott. Up until now, she was taking it on Scott's word I was ok, then it was Gene and Curt's word. He has people that care about him. He ran away from me and found people that care about him. I know he's special, even though he's been a bit of a tongue tied lunk-head around me.

Suddenly, we heard a loud groan from the back seat. Mary looked back to see Scott holding his hands over both of his ears, he was in pain. We're both frightened. "Ow, it hurts, get some ice, please get some ice, quick."

The cooler was in the back seat and Mary frantically tried to grab it while talking to Scott. "What's wrong, please tell me whats's wrong."

"It's my ears, their burning, they'd been burning off all the while I was sleeping, quick, get me some ice quick."

Mary continued to look worried and perplexed, but I started laughing. "Scott, you know the rule. Whoever's not here, or sleeping in your case, we get to talk about. Now apologize to Mary. You're going to give her a heart attack."

He started laughing and Mary tossed the empty McDonalds coffee cup at him. There is no room to duck in a small car, and he caught it in the forehead. It had been another 200 or so miles and it was time for gas, a washroom break and some more coffee. The legs also had to be stretched. I pulled into the next midsized town that happened to have a college in it. We'd seen a sign for cheaper gas about a mile in and I headed for it. 

About three blocks off the interstate, I saw a strange sign. "What's a 'guy ros'? Scott screamed out from the back seat "Gyros, they got a gyros place. If it's a spit, we gotta eat there. Drop me off here, I'll order and you can pick me up after you get gas." 

What the heck is a gyros and why is he so excited? I dropped him off and hit the gas station. Mary and I took care of business and then went back to that diner. Scott was sitting there on a picnic table with three large drinks and some something oversized bread overstuffed with charred meat, onions, tomato slices and some white sauce. He had the biggest smile on his face, and there was sauce dripping from his mouth.

Mary sat down and grabbed one of those things. "Couldn't even wait for us, could you? At the least explain to Emma what she will be eating," she paused, "and why. You owe her that much. Look at her, she's never had one."

Once again the question was asked right after his mouth was filled. I was getting to enjoy seeing Scott try to quickly swallow a mouth full of food while two women were impatiently staring at him. This time he gave me his wonderful 'I am pissed at you, but I'm really not' kind of looks. 

"It was explained to me by JJ, one of the guys from my unit from New York. When a Greek immigrates to America, the first thing he says is 'Where can I open my restaurant'. This combination of several meats, primarily lamb and beef, spiced and roasted on an electric spit. The electric spit gives it the crunchy texture and flavor. It has some spices and onions. I asked for light onions. We're gonna have to drive with the windows open for the next 12 hours because of the onions. And, by the way the correct pronunciation is 'Year Ros', not 'guy ros'. What do you think?"

I'm still trying to figure out what the heck I'm going to eat. No way am I going to say I can't do this, I'd die of embarrassment. I look over at Mary, and she is on her second bite, and she's smiling at me. As I start to unwrap it, some of that white sauce starts to drip out, and she pulls the empty bag under my hands to catch it. 

I took a bite, and it tastes pretty good. It wasn't barbeque, or ham and cheese or anything I ever had before. I went in for a second bite, and had to wipe my mouth after a piece of meat fell on to my chin then on to the bag. "Hey, this is pretty good." They held up their drinks for a toast. "Here's to new food."

I never knew what it was like to drive nearly 2,000 miles, let alone in a small car non-stop with two other people. We were going to drive the night too. We'd have two people awake. Somebody kept an eye on the driver. 

At one of the gas stops along the highway, there was a Starbucks at the gas station. I've rarely gotten overpriced-cups-of-coffee-for-small-town-Iowa there over the years, but that was it. As I went to the washroom, Scott said he'd get the coffee and meet us back at the car. 

I was driving this time and as the sun was down, I asked for the coffee. Mary passed to me this little cup of brownish fluid. "Scott said that he made it Italian style. A ton of sugar to cut the bitterness." 

"Mary, this is actually a cup of coffee? Enough to keep me going for the next 150 miles?" 

"Yea, I know it's cold, but sip it. Remember, small amount of volumne, large amount of flavor. It'll be a little different because it's cold, but try it."

First sip and I thought that I could chew it. The second sip, and it tasted a bit better. I knew I was in trouble by the third sip because I wanted more and there was only one sip left. "So this is what they drink in Europe?"

"Emma, as I said it's better just made. When you can smell it being brewed, it's heaven. If you have real Turkish coffee, they grind the coffee beans very fine and don't filter them out. If you're very very careful and it's the bottom of the pot, you can balance a small plastic spoon upgight in the cup." 

Since Scott was snoring in the back seat, I reached over to Mary and patted her hand. "Thank you for convincing him to let me tag along. You have no idea what this has means to me, being here with both of you. You see, all I got from him were letters. This was 19th century stuff in the age of skype and google video. Now I get to see the rest of the picture. There is so much that is said in a shrug, a joke, a sigh. I know that you care about that man. I think that at this time, I hope that you've got a little bit less to worry about with me."

"Emma to be honest with you, I couldn't figure out why he was so much into you. I understand the possessive stuff, but after a few years, it slowly crept from his back burner forward. I know now, you two fit together. I told him he shouldn't be worried about the changes he made in his life, you'd accept him and grow with it. I guess my white lie and prayers weren't needed."

We drove on in silence alternating with singing songs that either of us pretended to know all the words to.



Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 03



It took us 41 hours in total to drive the 2,000 miles from Iowa to Mary's parent's house in Oregon. We only stopped for gas, driver change, washroom breaks, sometimes food and two construction traffic backups. We had left at 4 AM on a Wednesday and arrived Thursday at 9 PM. Mary gave her parents a call about an hour away and George and Jan were waiting at the door.

They rustled us into the house, plied us with a drink and some food and got us to sit down for an hour. We needed that time to chill out. When Scott protested that there were things to do, George gave him another craft beer and politely told him it would all wait for us. The longer we sat and visited, the more relaxed we became. During this time, I found out that Scott and I were expected to be here till at least Tuesday and could stay longer if we wished. 

After that many days in the car without showers, we were all rather ripe. All three of us begged for showers. That got the ball rolling to unload the car.

The majority of the things in the car were Mary's, but I saw that there was a small tent and camping equipment that remained. I've been so busy listening and talking with those two that I never really cared what the trip home was going to be like. I wasn't worried. I don't keep a balance on my credit card. It's for emergencies only.

This large house is a parsonage for the church and Mary's father is the minister. Scott and I were directed to the back bedroom. We were given the hall bathroom while she took the one in her parent's master bedroom. It took three trips between the two of us to bring everything in. By the time we organized things, it was past 11 PM.

Towels had been placed on the bed and Scott handed me the pink set. He added a little smirk and I playfully slapped him with the wash cloth. He asked if I wanted to go first. He was still emptying his duffle bag into the dresser. I got the bottom drawers, he got the top. 

The bathroom was glorious. A double sink with lots of space, slightly better than the work we did for Gene and Curt. This one was remodeled to have a shower only, without any curb to cross over. New designs like this help to keep older people safe in their homes. Max has to start building these without the floor pan curb. This one has a built in bench seat with multiple shower heads with non-slick tile. 

I washed my face and hands then started to brush my teeth. Two days of not brushing is not my idea of a vacation. I was just about finished when I heard a knock on the door and Scott walked right in. "How are you doing beautiful?" and he grabbed my shoulders from behind for a warm hug. "This is the first time we've been alone." I quickly added, "And awake." He caressed my back and added, "And near naked with each other. You have no idea how I've been looking forward to being with you again."

I turned around and melted into his arms. We stood there and looked at each other. "Scott, Mary told me that I was a lucky girl. She said you were an adventurous lover. I almost choked. We weren't so adventurous then. You were kind and respectful, but adventurous? Not really." At this point, I continued to look in his eyes, and caressed his face with care.

"Then again, neither was I. We weren't into taking chances, were we?" He nodded no. "Later that night in the car I realized something real important. We have now, we're starting again. So lover, I am fully expecting you to show me what adventurous is. That's adventurous between us. I want you, I want to be with you, I should have no problem because we love one another and won't hurt one another?"

"Emma, you're scared on what I think adventurous is, aren't you?" I nodded. "First off, let's take some things off the plate. Hurting, humiliation, anything dangerous ... anything like that." I smiled and nodded while he reached for my hand. "Now for things to put on the plate. Fun, exciting, different, free to try. And talking. Talking before, during and afterward. We both can say no at anytime, and we'll respect that." I slowly exhaled my relief on that one. "We need a safe word. How about Bettendorf, as in Bettendorf Iowa. That will be the safe word for us, we had a good weekend there once." I nodded in agreement.

"And one more thing. Nobody else. It's just you and me. I've waited for years for this. We can pretend, we can roll play, we can have our fantasies, toys, dress up. We can go to bars and pretend be other people meeting for the first time if you want to. We can do a bunch of things. But it has to be us and only us. Us for our bed, us for our lives."

At that point, I pulled his head down to mine and wrapped my arms around him. That was the only answer I needed to give him. It's always been my answer with him until he did a Scott. Now it will be my only answer for him, for us. He pulled me even closer, and grabbed both of my cheeks from behind and squeezed me roughly, then slapped my right cheek.

"What kind of a man are you? In less than a minute, you're already starting to try to get into my pants." He looked at me with a little surprise. Then I added, "What took you so long?" while I started to unfasten his belt and unbutton his shirt.

We slowly took the next couple of milliseconds to undress each other while our mouths were glued together. He broke away and said "Why don't you start the shower and get in, I have some business to take care of here first." He turned toward the toilet and waited until I was behind the shower doors. Scott was the same Scott. 

I got into the shower, shut the door and got the temperature right before going under the water. It felt so good to rinse off two days of sweat. He followed behind me and grabbed the soap and wash cloth and slowly started to scrub my back, then skipped to my legs. Then he washed my ass, and kissed it after it was rinsed. He had me sit on the bench. Starting from my feet, he cleaned each toe before moving slowly up my legs. 

Slow is nice sometimes, but not now. I wanted him but realized something. "Scott, we have a situation here. I've left my protection in the room." There was a big smile on his face. "That means we get to try other things, don't we?" He leaned over and kissed me. 

He kept washing me and for some unknown reason concentrated on my pussy and breasts, finishing with washing my hair. He made me feel like a queen, all pampered, all the center of attention. When he finished, I grabbed the wash cloth from him and started on his back. I wasn't the one to skip his ass on the way down, but I did give him a little slap. That was when I saw it. 

The scars on the outside of his hip were about 8 inches long. He felt me stop. "Don't worry about that right now Emma. I'm not going back, I'm going to stay with you." He gave me a hug and a smile. "Now hurry up, we got some real hard things to work on." He turned and his hard cock almost hit me in the face.

"A little bit impatient there mister, are you? You still need to wash up." I continued to wash him, but less slowly. Now I was avoiding his cock, much to his disappointment. I got him to sit on the bench, and turned the shower heads toward him. When I finally finished washing his hair, he pulled my hand and placed it on his cock. "Don't forget this."

"My dear sir, I had no plans to forget this. In fact, I am expecting to see this fall and rise and fall again before the night is over. You are up for it I presume?" At this point, I was on my knees with his cock inches away from my mouth. Looking up, I could see his want, but he was unsettled about something.

"What's wrong Scott? Is this a little to fast? We can go slower. What do you want?"

"Emma, I'm afraid that it's been a very long time since I've been with someone, about a year now. Now with you here at my feet, I'm afraid of having a run away. It won't take much."

"It's been over a year for me too. But this night is young for us. I'm going to make you come first. Then you're going to have to please me until you get hard again. Then it'll be our turn. You're not getting away easy on this one. Not after being away from you all these years, then right next to you for the past 2 days."

He grabbed my face, but instead of trying to kiss me, he pushed it on to his cock. This was a first for him. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Pulling my mouth off of his cock, "Oh, so that's what you want. I see, a little blow job. That a good welcome home because I'm going to expect you to eat me." At that I started to lick the sides of his cock. It felt so good to have it back in my mouth again, to smell his smell, to feel his eyes on me. There is nothing better than to see the lust in the eyes of the one you love. Now I have to tease him a little.

"So lover, what would you have me do now? I would love to take this and stroke it. Or would you rather stroke it for me? How about if I..." and he held my head and shoved his cock back in my mouth. It was my greedy mouth. I sucked and licked and played with his balls with a free hand. Such a pleasure to watch him squirm, to hear his breathing change. I'm not a big fan of sucking cock, but I knew that I was going to be doing more and more of it. I also knew that I was a bigger fan of being eaten out, and he was going to have to be better at that too. 

I loved hearing him moan. "Emma, we tried to never make a mess. But I'd like to do something I've never done before." I looked up at him with his cock in my mouth, "I'd like to give you a facial. I want to come over your face, neck and tits."

We were in the shower, the water was spraying over us, and we're lovers again. While sucking on his cock, I start nodding yes, and sucked harder while I held his balls. In seconds, I'm feeling him start to pulse in my mouth, it's not going to be long. Half way through his first shot in my mouth, he pulls out and hits me with a string of cum on my cheek, then another on my chin and neck. He ended up covering my tits with his last spurts. 

The look of release on his face was heaven. I gave him time to recover when I sat down next to him, pasting my body to his. His cum was the glue. That was when he pulled me close and kissed me, tasting his cum from my mouth. Then his head went to my tits and he started to kiss my cum covered tits. We've never shared our own taste with each other. We spent most of our time fucking, not sucking. He would never kiss me after I sucked him, even if he didn't come in my mouth. I wouldn't kiss him after the few times he ate me out. Today I got half a mouthful and he is sucking my tongue out of my mouth and licking his cum off my tits. I almost came without being touched. This was something we never did before. I'm loving this adventurous.

By the time he recovered, we both realized that we had nearly used up all the hot water. I quickly washed him off of us and we dried off. Wrapping towels around us, we didn't care if someone was in the hall. It was only 10 steps to the bedroom and we got there in record time. Someone had been in the room. There was a plate of munchies and four bottles of craft beer in a small cooler. The CD player in the room was playing a sensuous Barry White song. I was shocked.

"Scott, one of these days you have to tell me more about your friends. But now lover, I think that you owe me something that..." He had grabbed a piece of cheese while I was talking and filled my mouth while he took my towel away from me. He had already spread his towel on the bed and was guiding me backwards to it. I wasn't protesting.

After he made sure I was comfortable, he spread my legs and crawled between them. The lust on his face as he looked into my eyes was all I needed. He was slowly kissing the inside of my legs, then moved back to my feet where he sucked on my toes. Damn jerk was going slow, teasing me. I've waited for him for 4 years and he is going slow? I grabbed his hair and pulled his face to my sex. "I need your mouth on me, NOW. I'm dying here."

He didn't waste any time. For the past year I would day dream about him being where he is now, eating me out, loving me with his mouth, being one with him again. Only now it's better. I always wanted to have a bit more abandon in our lives, especially between the sheets. "Oh god are you good. No, make that great, I wanted you so long. I could stay here forever. Don't you ever leave. Keep eating me. ohhhhh yyyyeeeesssss" Then I squeezed my legs together over his head and drenched his face while I came. I came and came and came and came, until I had to push his face away from me. 

I was still panting when his face appeared before my eyes, his chin and mouth still wet from me. It takes two to be adventurous now, and I grabbed his head and pulled his mouth to mine. I've kind of tasted myself before, but not like now, not like now. I don't know if it was the time away from a man, the time away from him, or this new beginning. I wanted him, I wanted all of him and me. I was breaking out of what was familiar into exciting. He explored my mouth with his mouth and tongue while my hands found that he was starting to get hard again. I made sure that he kept getting harder and harder. I wanted him in me, I wanted us to be one again. After a few minutes, he broke away from me and found something on the nightstand. He started tearing the packet off a rubber. 

"Hey handsome, that wasn't pretty good at all." He looked at me and smiled. He knew how I played with him. "Scott, that was the all time best. You really know how to eat me." I motioned to what he had in his hands, "Do you mind if I do that installation? I want to keep my hands on you as long as I can."

He nodded yes and lay with his back against the head board, his arms behind his head. He was looking and feeling like a king. I hadn't noticed until now that the bed creaked a bit, but I didn't care at all. He smiled at me as I spread his legs and I crawled up between them. He must have seen a little smile on my face and knew what was going to happen next. 

I wanted to tease him and started by breathing on his cock and pulling away. I'd arrange the Trojan in my hand, then go back with my mouth and breath on his cck. And I'd do it all over again. By the third time, he held my head above his cock and impaled my mouth on it. "We can both play at that game, but I can hold you there longer little miss tease." I reached up and pulled his hands off my head. "Oh, I only wanted to keep you hard? Is that a bad thing?" I cooed. I loved playing with him that way. Now we both are playing, playing better than we ever did before.

In a flash of an eye, he had me flipped on my back, my hands held together above my head. He used his body to keep me under his control. His other hand was putting on the Trojan. Such grim determination, such tenderness in his strong touch. I made a half-hearted effort to wiggle and resist, but by that time, he was finished and used his legs to spread mine. I was being taken, taken like I'd never been before, by somebody I loved and who loved me back. 

He took his free hand and used his cock like a dildoe to stroke my slit. I kept rising up to try to get him in me, but he wouldn't allow it. He was in control, and it was going to remain that way. We've never done anything like this before, I've never done anything like this before. Those women had him before, now I've got the best lover in the world.

"Oh you wonderful man, enter me, enter this little girl now, make it good and long, make her come." 

Scott looked down at me, "What do you want me to do?", his smile had a hint of mischievousness in it. 

"Just put it in me, now." "But Emma, what is it?" 

I'm dying and he's playing word games.

"But Emma, not until you tell me what it is." 

We never talked when we had sex before. We never used vulgar terms. We never told each other about what we wanted. We moved hands, faces and other body parts to where we wanted them to be, but we never talked about it. We also never talked dirty to one another. I'm rarely vulgar, but not now. "Are going to fuck this pussy? This pussy's been waiting for you a long time. Shove that cock in me." The smile on his face said it all. I was making my lover happy, and making me happy too. I never realized that talking dirty with your lover is the most natural thing in the world. 

He slipped his cock into me and I let out a moan that trembled my whole body. Then he started to pump me. Oh did this feel good and I softly moaned. "My little darling likes to talk dirty now, doesn't she? How long has this been going on?" 

"You fucker, you can guess how long it's been, in seconds on one hand. Just keep fucking me." I reached up and caressed his face. "You said it was going to be a wild ride. Oh keep fucking me." I panted and reached behind and slapped his ass lightly, "and I'm holding you to it. But you can't go there alone." He reached over and put his fingers in my mouth for me to suck clean. "Oh yes Emma, your cunt feels so good to be fucking." 

He wasn't expecting what I did next. I flipped him off to the side then rolled him on his back. He figured out pretty quickly what I was trying to do and helped me along. Both of us knew that he could never be overpowered, but he followed my lead. I kept him in me as best I could. "Ride 'um cow girl. Now suck these tits while I fuck you." He reached up and held my left tit in his one hand and sucked the life out of the other one. I was moaning from the pleasure of his cock I was riding. I closed my eyes and felt this manhood take me away. I at the verge of coming I looked down. He was working on my climax, not his.

That was when I saw something, something beyond the wild sex. I saw Scott for the first time for the rest of our lives. I wanted to make love to my lover, that man I got to know all over again. The man I waited for. I started to slow down and tears came to my eyes. Scott noticed right away and became worried. I just smiled through my tears and said "Welcome back the love of my life, don't ever leave."

It was my turn to drive, and I was driving south along the Oregon coast at lunch time. It was quiet, but I suddenly felt Scott's hand gently slowly stroking my arm. "Well Scott, finally waking up. You've been napping for over an hour. How are you feeling? Finally rested?" I reached over and caressed his knee. "Well woman, you did keep me up last night, the night before, and the night before that too."

"Wait a minute Scott, you can't blame me on all of those. It was a wedding, a wedding like I've never seen before. You were in your glory. Your friends, the dancing, the food. You even found a little time for me."

"A little time for you? A little time for you? When wasn't I at your side? I remember going to the bathroom. But wait a minute, you were there too if I remember."

"Wait a minute, that was your idea too. I'll admit it was a great idea. Good thing I kept a package of Trojans in my purse, another good idea of mine. You really know how to make a girl feel horny, then satisfied. We had a bunch of good ideas like that in a row these last couple of days. How many have we used?"

At that point, he leaned over and kissed my neck, and then slipped his hand in my blouse. I could feel my nipple harden at the touch of his fingers. "Hold it buddy. I'm the one driving here. I want us to be around many more years. Besides, we're only an hour away from your Uncle Tim's house. Keep a lid on it." I heard a "tisk tisk" and he pulled his hand out. "Emma, what did you like the most about the wedding?"

"You told me it as going to be a wild ride with you. You weren't kidding. Seeing all those marines, I figured out pretty quickly why you never let me be more than a foot away from you. Are they always that way? or didn't you trust them? or me?" 

"Well, should I have been worried about you? After all, I found you laughing in bed with Mary on top of you." 

"NOW HOLD IT RIGHT THERE. YOU KNOW SHE WAS TEACHING ME, THE PERSON HERE WITH TWO LEFT FEET, TO POLKA. I WANTED TO SUPRISE YOU. YOU KNOW I TRIPPED AND PULLED HER DOWN ..."




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 03



"EMMA CALM DOWN. YOU HAVE TO KNOW I'M KIDDING YOU. ok? Give me credit. I may have initially a little concerned when I saw you two, but within a second I knew that there was a good explanation. I believed you then, I believe you now." He reached over and held my hand.

"I'm just lucky you love me, and waited to ask questions first this time. The look on your face when you came in at the exact time I tripped and she was all over me. That's when I remembered her telling me about her 'not stealing' your girlfriends. All I thought was 'Oh Shit'. But you didn't blow up. There I was, afraid of what it looked like, and stammering. I felt like my face was on fire and I could see Mary being red, and real worried looking. That spooked me the most. You stood there and helped everybody get up and waited until I could tell you what happened. You believed me. I could see it in your face, I could see it in your eyes, I felt it. "

"Emma, it was a shock at first. Did I think that something was going on? Well, it looked like it, but I made a big mistake before and that was overhearing you a couple of times. I couldn't ever make that mistake again. Besides, I know that she loves Jen, and she wouldn't do anything to hurt her. And I also know that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me." I grasped his hand and hugged it. Then he added "Except ream me a new ass hole if I ever cheated on you."

"A new one would be the smallest of your worries. I know your friends now. All I would have to do is ask and you'd be toast for being that stupid." He leaned over and kissed me on the neck and hugged me gently.

"Emma, what else did you like about the wedding? I loved the food. It was pot luck and we lucked out. Mary's father grilled the brats, chicken, veggie burgers, a round of veggies and the salmon."

"Jen's family brought some stuff I've never seen before. I'd never thought I'd like greens, but they were pretty good. Didn't her father bring that Korean dish, kimchi? That was different, but good. And those barbque short ribs. They were great. What were they called again?"

"Galbi, the marinated beef short ribs are called galbi. Jen was a Marine brat and her family lived in Korea for a while. I'll tell you, those short ribs were good."

"What was that strange dark sausage with the little round white things in it? It was different, good to try once. I don't think I'm ever going to get a taste for it."

"That was kiszka. Mary's Aunt Natalia brought it. Want to know what it's made out of?"

"Something tells me that I'm going to see it in my future anyway. You wolfed down quite a bit of it."

"Originally it's left overs, fresh pigs blood, vinegar, organ meats like kidney, liver, heart, there is also shoulder. Barley are those little white things. Every country in Europe has something like that. It is stuffed in hog intestines, just like good brats. Had a lot of stuff like that in Europe."

"Was it your friend Manny that brought the flautas? I've never had them so fresh in my life. Don't get me going about his salsa. I've also never had wine out of a barrel before. I take it that it was local? I heard Oregon makes wine." 

"Yes, it was some friends from their church. I really liked how they handled the music. I never would have thought of doing music that way. They had the set up and people just plugged in their phones or mp3 players to the amp. Limiting it to three songs kept it different all day."

"Jen's father has a great Motown collection from the 60's. The country music was good. Even the little bit of opera while we were eating made it special. I'm not thrilled with Wagner."

"Scott, thank you for putting up with my dancing. I had to let you dance with all those women, especially with both brides. It was kind of strange to see so many women, and men, kissing and dancing with each other. We don't have much PDA's, public displays of affection like that at home, do we?

"I was watching you. I saw that you were a little bit bothered by it at first, but you loosened up. You got to dance with both brides too. How did you like to finally polka with me? You did know that Mary's Aunt was Polish. I almost died when she pulled me away from you to polka and Mary put that song on."

"Scott, how could I forget the look on your face when we heard 'I don't want her, you can have her, she's to fat for me, hey, she's to fat for me, hey, she's to fat for me'. I was looking at Mary's family and they were laughing so hard they had to sit down. Mary's Aunt wasn't bothered by it though. I guess it's a family thing. Boy, did she spin you around. You were still in better shape than she was. She ended up out of breath, you were only sweating."

"Emma, we really don't dance at home very much. Found out it's like that in a lot of small towns. Not all, but many. I hit a couple of ethnic weddings in the past several years. They're a blast. I was at an Indian wedding once, bride's mother and father came from somewhere near New Delhi I think. Or was it Madras? I don't remember. No one ever wanted to leave the dance floor. They had everybody on the floor for hours on end. Young kids to grandparents. The hand gestures are like screwing in overhead light bulbs. By the way, how did you feel about the polka?" 

"Scott, even one of Mary's great uncles took pity on me. He outclassed me, and Zigmunt is in his 70's and walks with a cane."

"You did notice that he had his own bottle of whiskey on the table, didn't you? It was mostly gone by the time the night was over. He was feeling no pain that night." 

"Scott, who had the bright idea of the honor guard in full marine dress with the swords? Did the brides ever get the idea that they both were going to get swatted on the butt by the last two guys with their swords?"

"I cannot tell a lie. So I can't say anything." I looked over at him with my puppy dog eyes and he folded. "Ok, it was Jen's father. Remember, he was an officer and a lifer. This was going to be his last chance."

We were quiet for a while, holding hands and feeling at peace. We made love at least twice a day since we got to Mary's house. We weathered some issues that would have been pretty big before, but we talked them out. I felt at peace and looked at Scott. "I don't know if this is the right time for this, but could you tell me about your relationship with Mary? It was hard not to notice that you and then I were treated like kings by them all, Mary and her parents."

Scott looked at me and smiled. "You know, I think that there's going to be more of these kind of questions before this trip is over. You ask them when you want to, I'll answer them. We'll have time.

"Mary was a bit fragile when I first met her. Don't get me wrong. Physically, she is as tough as nails. But I saw something behind the facade. You know, she is a wonderful woman, full of life, well now she's full of life. She was pretty haunted at first. I let her direct the relationship. We were friends at first. I asked nothing of her, she did the same for me. We got companionship, and trust. I do think that she was close to the breaking point then. Being a Marine is hard on you emotionally. Being away from everyone is rough. I got her to write to others. It was good for her.

"We moved together unexpectedly one night with the help of a handle of Jack. We became lovers. Jack Daniels will always be my friend, in less than handle sized portions that is. Well, maybe most of the time.

"Before you won't ask but are dying to know, Yes, she was good in bed. She added to what I thought making love was all about. We were together like that for a couple of months when things cooled off. A natural cool off, but we cooled. You and I were writing to one another and I realized that I wanted to be back with you, but the little thing of my remaining tour of duty and the Atlantic Ocean was going to keep me from working on it with you. 

"I wouldn't give you the line to 'wait for me'. That just wasn't going to happen. You deserved better. Besides, from what you were doing, I saw that you had moved on in many ways. Well, by now I've realized that Mary is a much different person that she was when I met her at first. I saw her eyes light up around a certain woman. I know that look, and what it meant for her. That's when I let her know what her body was saying.

"She was pissed at me for weeks, and we didn't talk. When she finally admitted it to herself, she decided to act on it. I saw them both, they were in love. I was honestly happy for her. Dawn's tour was over and left to go home. Mary was really saddened by it. That was when I suggested that she finally tell her parents what was going on with her.

"Funny thing, she actually did that. She let her parents know who she is. What surprised the heck out of her was that her parents knew all along. They knew before Mary knew. I've found out that this happens with some regularity. It even happened with a recent vice president. Parents know their children. They also knew that I hung around and have been a stable influence for her. That's why we were treated like kings here. Does that answer your question?"

"Thanks for your answer on that. I've got another, but it's really not a question, but it is. We've made a lot of love and we've also had a lot of sex too." Scott leaned over and began to lick my ear. "Now stop that, this is important, OK?" and he pulled back and looked at me. 

"There was something that you did that I really didn't like. It was a super turn off, so I have to tell you about it." I cleared my throat, "I'm not your whore, I'm not your bitch. I'm not your trick. I'm your love, your lover, I hopefully am your vixen. Do you understand what I'm saying? It doesn't feel good to be called those things. I know that it isn't for real, but it just strikes as wrong to me." I glanced sideways at him and watched his face.

"Emma, that's not a problem. I was just getting off on the excitement, the wrongness of the great fucking we were doing. But I can understand what you could feel about it. Won't be a problem for me."

"Thank you Scott. I didn't think you would really care, but it's great to be heard and valued."

"As long as we are on the subject of sexual relations. I've got a question for you?" I nodded. "Have you ever been tied up?"

"ARE YOU TALING ABOUT BEING BOUND AND GAGGED AND STRUNG UP.." 

"No Emma, not like that. What I'm talking about is to be lightly restrained and your partner teases and pleases you. I'm talking about being blindfolded and having all your other senses take over. I'm talking about being used in a good and loving way to...."

"No. That's never happened to me. What's it like?" 

"Which way Emma? The bonder or the bondee?"

"You've been both? Mary was right about being adventurous."

"To be honest, I was only restrained once, and we were pretty drunk at the time. But it was fun. First off, trust is the biggest factor. Then there's imagination. I got better the more I did it. There's a building of excitement, a feeling of helplessness along with knowing that your partner is going to give you the best time they can. Anticipation is key. And the reason I'm talking about it now is because of what you told me earlier. There can be bit of roll playing, that can be what ever you want it to be. All that I have been part of involved no pain, I don't even pretend pain." 

I glanced at the scar on his neck and shuddered. He continued, "But I brought in her helplessness, her fantasies, toys. I'm not explaining it very well at all, but her happiness and fun was the top thing. 

"I'm talking about your happiness and fun would be most important. It's not an everyday thing, but it does add a bit of spice to life. Sorry if this isn't coming out very well. It's hard to talk about and do it justice. I'd like to try it with you once and see what you think. What do you think?"

"I don't know what to think except that Bettendorf would be a good word to remember in case it was needed."

"I'd like to surprise you one day, and I hope that I'll never hear that word from you."

We had been at Scott's Uncle Time's place for about an hour. Ly is a Vietnamese immigrant that met Tim when she was 16. They met again in Thailand 4 years later and he dragged her to the states as his bride.

We were visiting for over anhour when his wife Ly was going walking into the kitchen as Tim came back into the living room with Scott. "Scott, I'd like to take you there now. We have time before dinner and that will give Ly space to do what she wants to do. I think that it'll be better if Emma can come with. It'll take about 10 minutes to drive there." Turning toward me, "Emma, you can come with if you want, or stay, but I think that it would be better if you came." 

Scott was looking sad , "Are you going to take me to her now?" When Tim nodded yes, Scott looked at me "Please come with. We're going to see my mother. I'd like to have you close." Tears were in my eyes as we piled into Tim's ancient minivan for the drive. There was no conversation in words, but I held on to Scott's hand and he never let go. 

We drove down the highway, passing industrial areas and rows of nursing homes until we left town and started going up into the hills. The air became cooler and the trees returned, well from no trees to an occasional one here or there. Those slowly increased in number. Then Tim pulled into a cemetery. I finally understood. 

He drove in and stopped at a spot that was near the middle of a large number of graves. Tim opened the back of the mini-van and took out some silk flowers. Real flowers would never last from the lack of rain. He started slowly walking up the slight hill and we followed behind.

Near the top, he stopped and got on his good knee and cleared dried leaves and grasses from the head stone. There lay Scott's mother, she had died over 12 years before.

Scott stood there in silence while I held his hand. His face shown more of peace than sorrow or anger. He said a quiet prayer that I barely overheard, and he blessed himself. Straightening up, he hugged his Uncle, his last blood relative in the world. He hugged him with a fierceness and gratitude. Then wiping away his tears, he started walking down the hill, back to the car. This trip was about closure. 

On the way back to the house, Scott and Tim spoke about Scott's mother's life. She had significant mental health problems that no one could fix or make better. After being discharged from a hospitalization in Iowa after she had a severe episode, she realized that she should not be a parent to Scott. She was dangerous not only to herself, but to him. On her own, she asked her parents to take over guardianship. Tim offered some oversight, some support out here in California. Her self medication and lack of proper medication continued to plague her and ultimately caused her death. Tim's friends in mental health and the police were able to let him know if she got into any trouble. He was able to visit her in the hospital before she died of complications.

Scott started to write to Tim at the time of his arrest, and as the months went on by, a close relationship grew between them. I found out that a period of time in which Scott was not writing to me was the same time that he found out about his mother's death.

We stopped off at a liquor store to pick up some wine on the way home, Tim wanted to celebrate our visit and have a memorial dinner for the four of us. I was going to find out what find out what wine goes with the Vietnamese food Ly was cooking for us.

Saying that we had time to kill, Tim took us first to the liquor store for a couple of bottles of pinot gringo and then to a coffee shop in town. I got to hear how Tim met Ly, and got her to come back with him. 

"I was a marine in Nam from 72-74. I was stationed near Saigon and got discharged a year before South Viet Nam fell in '75. I had met Ly. She was working with the French Catholic church there. It helped that I knew a smattering of French from high school and she had picked up quite a bit more American. Notice I didn't say English. We had gone out a few times before I was shipped back, but I did continue to write. I got a letter back from a distant cousin of hers in the states that said it was dangerous for her to get my letters. So I stopped writing and got on with my life. 

"I was a medic in the corps, so I decided to become a nurse. Knew I wasn't smart enough to be a doctor. After I graduated in the late 70's, there was a call to help from the UN with the refugees in Thailand. Everybody who couldn't get out and was caught in the war zone was heading there. Laotians, Hmong, Vietnamese and Cambodians, all fleeing. You know the stories about the Khmer Rouge. I got there and kept asking around for Ly. Had no knowledge she was anywhere or even alive. At the end of my third month there, I got a call and raced to another camp.

"It was Ly, quite a bit thinner, sick, covered with sores, but there and alive. She recognized me and smiled. Emma, is Scott stubborn?" I rolled my eyes and Scott broke out in laughter. "He comes by it honestly. I got her transferred to my camp and spent the next 3 months getting her well. I started the paperwork to get her to America before I even told her about it. When she found out, she was pissed. Not the 'I'm pissed at you' level pissed. It was 'HOW DARE YOU' level of pissed. 

I 'bullied her' to marry me and come to California. I did give her the option to divorce me any time she wanted to. I told her that I was going to get her out of this war zone that she could do nothing about. From America she could help more people than she could from here. If she didn't want to be with me in America that was ok. I couldn't live with myself if she was in danger. She finally gave in. She's never left me since. A couple of times she's wanted to murder me, but never leave me." I laughed harder than Scott did on that one.

"Since then, we've sponsored over 5 of her relatives or friends to come here. Two of their sons became marines and have been in Iraq. She has gone back over the years to see relatives as the tensions decreased. I've been there with her a couple of times. She doesn't want to return to live there. We've made a good life here." He looked down at his watch, "Time to go, dinner will be soon." 

I've never eaten Vietnamese food. I hope that this was going to be a treat and not something that I would have to heave. A week ago I would have passed on it. Since Scott came back into my life, I've gotten used to the idea that there a bunch of things I don't know about that are pretty good, or at least worth the effort to try.

Such a spread she put out. Ly explained that banh cam are the deep fried sesame balls with sweetened mung bean paste. Canh chua is hot and sour soup. Nem chua is cured fermented pork. I was able to identify the pork. One for me, the only one for me. We also had popiah, a spring roll. The three bottles of pinot, well, that was two things for me. This was followed by french press made decaf coffee. For desert, it was angel food cake with strawberries that Ly and Tim had canned along with some almond liquor poured over it.

I got to hear about their lives. They would also share with Scott stories about his mother. I came to realize very quickly that this part of the trip was the most important part of it all. He was hearing about is mother, and it was not all bad. She had difficulties when she was young, but had some months and years where she was pretty stable. Scott's early child hood was pretty normal, but after he was 7 she started to deteriorate. Those were the times he remembers most. Now he was able to hear the unvarnished truth about her, delivered by people who knew her and even loved her, as well as him. 

It was a weekday night at 11 PM and Ly and I left to go to sleep. She showed me to our room while the two men spoke into the night.




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 03



"Good morning sleepy head. Your Aunt and Uncle left for work over 2 hours ago. How are you feeling?" It's great being bright eyed and bushy tailed when he's groggy. I've always loved doing that to him. He slowly turned over and blinked to clear his eyes. Helping him to sit up in bed, I handed him a cup of coffee.

"What have I done to deserve this? I know that I was up late with Uncle Tim. What time did I hit the hay?"

"I remember you getting to bed at 1:30. Do you remember that I got up to help you?" He shook his head no. "Do you remember the shots you were sharing with Tim last night?" This time there was a slight smile and a yes nod from him.

"I got you undressed and into bed. You had a real hard day yesterday. I don't know if you remember, I spooned you the entire night, I held you close and wouldn't let you go."

He was shaking his head slowly, trying hard to remember. "I felt warm and protected last night, thank you for that. I must have tied one on yesterday. That normally isn't me. I'm sorry."

"Do you remember crying? You were talking about your mother. Since you showed up at the bar, I haven't let you out of my sight. I'm going to ask you to do something this morning, well, late morning, right after you have something to eat. Promise me you'll do it for me. Please?"

"You've not asked much of me, so I figure that I owe it to you. Let me get something to eat and you can tell me then. There is a shower waiting for me and morning mouth to do something about first. OK?"

I nodded yes and went into the kitchen to make him breakfast. I had a great visit with his Aunt and Uncle this morning and we planned out the day. 

Scott rolled into the shower and back out again, clean as a whistle and awake as can be. I cooked up an omelet for him with a side of toast and an orange juice chaser.

After he ate, he asked what I wanted from him. By the side door was a portable camp chair and a travelling mug of coffee and a large snack/lunch waiting for him. 

"One of the days that I was running Curt to a doctor's appointment, he asked if we could do a side trip. He wanted to see his parents and he hadn't made it to the cemetery in years. He is nearing 80 you know. Of course I said yes. The day was cool but clear and the ground was dry. Important issues with using a walker over grass.

"His parents graves were close to the top of the little hill in the cemetery, the mound way in the back. The graves toward the front cost more. I got him there with his walker and guided him along till we found them. I did the math quickly, he was 14 years old when they passed. Looking around there were quite a few graves there in a period of 2 months. I would guess that there was an outbreak of some kind. 

"He's got the kind of walker where he can sit down. With his Parkinson's, it's safer. Making sure he was bundled up properly, I told him that I'd give him some space and would be back later. I went to see my parents and grandparents. He was always in sight.

"When I was walking away, I heard him talking. "Ma, why you'd have to leave me so soon. Ma, why?" 

"Scott, she passed away 64 years ago and he is still grieving her loss. There are times I go to my parent's graves alone and talk with them.

"I want you to take that coffee and camp chair and spend some time talking with your mother. I shared this with your uncle and aunt and they thought you should do it. I'll be more than OK waiting here for you. Will you do this for me?"

He looked at me with a sad smile on is face. "Emma, I won't do it for you alone. I'll do it for me too, for us." He reached over and took my hand, "You're one of the smartest people I know of. You know I need this, you know that this was the real reason for the road trip. Thank you." He pulled me over and kissed and hugged me.

"On your way back, when ever that is, can you bring something back to bar-b-que? Meats and veggies and something for a salad." He nodded yes with a smile when I added, "By the way, your aunt liked that pinot and you did empty your uncles Jack, so get some more of that too." He was about to say something about money when I cut him off, "I'm buying so don't argue with me. We all deserve this."

I had over 6 hours alone waiting for Scott to return. He did text me and said that he was shopping after 5 of those hours, so I wasn't that worried after that.

Scott had great ideas for dinner. Having spent that time in Europe and the mid-east, we were going to eat things that I never would have thought of. He bought what he needed to make a tapas plate of bacon wrapped dates, a style of couscous from morocco, and fresh artichokes. He even found real decaf espresso, having seen that his uncle has a kitchen stove espresso pot in his kitchen. He really must have hunted for some of these things, or they've got great stores around here. Then again, California is not small town Iowa.

He got back about an hour before they were due home and we immediately got to work. I cleaned and cut the vegetables for grilling. He started the charcoal grill, started to marinate the meats and chilled the white wine. In the background I heard "A little wine in the meat, a little wine in the cook, a little wine in the meat, a little more wine in the other cook." and a glass of some dry red wine was placed in my hand. I was glad that I was finished chopping. I'm a klutz in the kitchen with a knife. In 10 minutes the items that needed longer cooking times were on the grill. I arranged the table and fixed the salads. He added a couple of things to the salads that I never saw before. Life is about new experiences.

He waited until his aunt came home and she gave the Ok to put the meat on the grill. Tim showed up just in time as the meat was just coming off.

When we all sat down, Tim proposed a toast. "To Scott and Emma, may they darken our doorstep when ever they want to." That was when Ly hit him in the arm and spoke in her wonderfully accented english. "Tim, you can do better than that." He sheepishly looked at us then began again. "May they cook dinner for us when ever they can." And he got hit again. That was when Ly looked at me and asked. "Is Scott like that too?" 

Laughing at both men I answered, "I understand it was Scott's grandfather's problem too. I don't think that we're going to get anything better out of them. Let's eat."

It was a great dinner and Scott was in a wonderful mood. We hadn't gotten to talk about his time at the cemetery, but he was much more calm. I could visibly see less stress in his face, a lightness in his being. I remember the things he said in his letters to me. His mother was always a raw nerve, an exposed raw nerve. From her brother, his Uncle, he got more of the big picture and much more of the little picture of her. A 10 year old boy has a limited understanding and perspective of life. His grandparents were also limited in what they chose to share. Not knowing what to do, they chose to move on. They did the best they could, and Scott was hearing this from their son, his Uncle Tim. 

No one could take away his mother's illness and the damage it did to him and the family. But Scott got some answers that he didn't ever think he could have had. He was finally getting some understanding of what he went through, and she was not all to blame. His years in the Marines showed him many people with mental health problems. Now he could begin to understand and accept her for the choices she made. He was getting some closure. 

The four of us sat around the table and talked and sipped the espresso. I made sure the wine didn't run out this time. Scott also bought two handles of Jack, he wanted to leave his uncle with something. 

Scott and I got to hear more about their lives and families. We talked until Ly said it was 11 and time for bed. We all followed, with Tim and Scott talking quietly in the hall. As I was going into the washroom, I overheard Tim saying to Scott that he had a keeper.

I got into bed and was under the covers before Scott came in to the room. He changed into some boxers to sleep in. When he pulled back the covers he realized that I was naked with a big smile on my face. "Hey handsome, got any plans?" 

"What is the reason of this soon to be pleasure from you my dear woman?" he answered.

"If you must get into a bit if chit-chat, I'll tell you. But please, drop those shorts while I speak, your whore wants to see what she is going to be playing with."

"Wait a minute, you told me that..."

"Yes I did tell you that I didn't want to hear that. I've changed my mind." He looked very confused, so I continued. "Scott, I've been with you for the past week or so. We've never been apart more than 30 minutes the whole time."

By this time, he had dropped his boxers and was sitting on the bed next to me, caressing my face. "Yesterday and today you dealt with some of the most difficult issues of your life. Today you did the right thing. You didn't argue with me about buying the food and liquor for Tim and Ly, and you spent hours with your mother. You even bought her flowers."

"How did you ..." 

"I emptied the grocery bags and there were flower petals in one of them. Then there was the receipts. The one with the flower petals was hours before the other one. 

"You've also been the neatest and cleanest that I've ever seen you, and you are doing it naturally. You aren't doing it for me, are you?" He nodded no, "It's been a drummed into a habit of mine latey." 

"The Marines have been good for you. You've been doing everything right, right for you, right for me. You can't imangine how that makes me feel. Not only have you been standing on your own two feet, you've been somebody I have been so proud of, and envious of too."

"Envious of? What are you talking about Emma? Just because I've had some different experiences, been to different places?"

"Scott, it's not about what you've done. It's about who you are. It's always been about who you are. I see you the first time in over four years, and you talk down a lost soul and get him into rehab. You didn't blow up when you found your girlfriend in the arms of another girlfriend. You waited to find out what was going on. You're the only man who has been able to satisfy me in bed, and do it so easy that it appears effortless."

"Hey, wait a minute. You've always been able to be satisfied easily. Making love to you was a breeze."

"Just with you Scott, just with you. That's why I haven't been with anybody else in the past year or so. I started to realize it when Gina nearly got married. No one else ever came close to you. Our worst was not even near their best. You're special to me, real special."

"Then why didn't you say anything when I started to talk about re-enlisting?"

"Remember Ryan? You didn't say anything because?" I looked at him and reached out to hold his hand. "Besides, I finally did, but it was 6 months later. I gave you time to explore what you needed to explore. Then you didn't write back. I understand why now. I'm not blaming you, I'm just talking about what happened."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes when I said, "And now you're still wondering about this whore, aren't you?" I saw a very bemused smile on his face as he nodded. "I've been with you for a very intense week. You've taken me places I've never been. I've eaten things I never knew existed. I've been to a lesbian wedding, surrounded by all sorts of same sex and different sex people holding hands and kissing each other. I haven't told you this, but when I went to the washroom during the wedding, I found a couple in 69 on the couch in the basement. I stayed and watched for a few minutes. Did you think I was that easy to be talked into going into the bathroom and have you take me from behind while leaning over the sink? I've never seen porn, with you I see the real live real thing.

"You spent 6 hours away from me today. They were a great 6 hours for you, and me too. I got to think about everything that happened this past week. You're the man I love, a man that will not do anything to harm me. If the man I love and who loves me back can call me his one and only whore, his bitch, his cum bucket, than that's ok. I get a stud, a cunt licker, a trick, a piece of meat, a pick up and maybe master and a slave at times. No one is getting hurt.

"You've opened up my eyes. You know my parents died by the time I was 17. I had to grow up real fast. I didn't get to play around much. I was always afraid to, I needed to be responsible living at my Aunt's house. I took that job with Max to get me out of their house, to be independent. I thought I had to be the good girl, and I was. But I'm not a girl anymore, I'm a woman. And you're a man. You're my man. This is the rest of our lives now. We get to try new things and we see what fits. If the shoe doesn't fit, then we won't wear it. I don't want to be limited. Except that it is just you and me, in bed and in our lives. Just like you told me before.

"I'm throwing off some things that are stopping me from going on in life with you. So what do you say to your own little whore now you big piece of meat?"

Scott looked at me in seriousness and love that I couldn't ever put into words. But I knew what he felt. He smiled at me. "You're the most amazing person I've ever met. I watched you change in your letters to me over those years, and now I see changes again, and it's only been a week." He shifted slightly to be closer to me. "I was so afraid that you couldn't handle everthing you've seen this week, but you saw it and embraced it. 

"I know that you are the smarter one of us. You've always been quick to pick up what was important. I've trusted that years ago, and I trust that now." With that, he reached over and pulled by head to his and we kissed, kissed long and hard. 

"So sir, have you been to many whore houses? I would like to know how I am going to compare. I may meed a few pointers." That was when he took my hand and put it on his cock and whispered, "Get this hard for me my little whore." Then he playfully slapped my right cheek. "And then bring me that bottle of rum and the coke, we have some drinking to do." I answered, "Yes sir, anything you say sir. We will have to do without ice sir." He chuckled as I poured him a stiff one and I made another stiff drink for me. Then I made him stiff while sipping my drink. It was fun looking into his eyes as I did that.

"Emma, I just have to ask. You stayed 5 minutes and watched a couple in 69. Who was the couple?" 

I continued stroking him and said, "I don't know their names, but I think that they didn't come together." He snickered and I caught what I said. "No, I meant I didn't think they arrived at the wedding together. Thinking about it, they may not have come together the other way either, but I didn't stay till the end. That's when I hunted you down. We came together in the bathroom, didn't we?

"What I meant was I think they may have arrived with other partners. She was the tall blond and he must have been a Marine because of his build. He was hispanic, shorter than me." 

"He was one of the reasons that I kept you close by. Not because I didn't trust you, it's because I know Juan and how he gets women tipsy and in bed. You weren't drinking that much, I shouldn't have been worried."

"Get off of it, I loved having you shepard me around. You loved it too. I got a couple of knowing looks from some of the women there. I'm not going to ask but..."

"Ok, ok, I had a reputation. I'd kiss but not tell. There's another reason that I had you around me. I'm with you now. I'm not going to end up like Juan. All that is past. It's been over for me more than a year, just like you."

He reached over to me and pulled my face to his, and he caressed my left breast. That man knows how to stop a conversation. This man of mine is not crude, he knows my buttons and presses them in such wonderful ways. He parted my legs with his hands and felt my wetness as he slid his fingers along my clit. I started to moan from his attention. I broke free from his mouth and started to kiss and lick his neck. I felt him reach for his drink. He took a long sip when I stopped kissing his neck and downed half of mine.

He pulled me on top of him and had his hands roam over my back. I so love it when his strong hands trace my spine and ends half way down my cheeks. "Emma, what did you like the best watching those two have sex in front of you?" 

I stopped kissing his neck and stroking his cock. He didn't stop his fingering my clit. "I..I..I don't know." This was when Scott slipped a finger into me and rubbed my clit with his thumb. I was in heaven. "That's not fair, how can I think with you doing that to me?" He started laughing at me, then I started laughing too as he slowed down.

"Part of it was seeing another couple actually making love, in person, actually in front of me. Hearing their moans, smelling their aromas, the grunting and panting. Watching her take his dick in her mouth, bobbing her head up and down, stroking his dick with her hands behind her mouth. I could almost feel his toungue on my clit. I told you, I've never really seen porn. Everything I know is self taught or I heard it a little bit from my girlfriends. And they don't talk about it much either. Teacher, I could use some instruction. The other thing is that I've never done that before. I've never done 69 before. Not with you, not with anybody."

Then I looked him in the eye, "Well?" With that, he directed my head to the bed while he flipped around. There was his dick, his cock, right at my face. But it was upside down to how I normally saw it. He was busy spreading my legs and nuzzling his face into my pussy. He started first and I almost forgot that I was suppose to be sucking him at the same time. 

It was a little hard at first, no pun intended, to concentrate on sucking him when he was doing such a great job on my pussy. I was licking the sides and around the helmet when I felt him buck his hips and push it in my mouth. He was using his tongue in such a heavenly way on me, I just had to start doing a better job on him. That's when I remembered the blonde, and started to do what I remembered she did to Juan. I got an appreciative moan from Scott. 

After a few minutes, I lost my fear of doing something wrong and was able to enjoy both of our pleasures. I would do something a little different, and I would feel the responce in my pussy from him. I have no idea how long this was going on, but I loved it. I was getting closer to comming, when I felt Scott start to pulse and get more rigid. That's when I grabbed his cheek with one hand, and suprised the heck out of him with my other one. I massaged his rosebud with a slick finger right before he came. 

He came with an explosion in my mouth, everything he was doing to my pussy stopped as he jerked like a madman. He built up a load today, and I was barely able to keep it all in my mouth. I never really swallowed much before but I was swallowing it to stop it from getting on the sheets. His cock stopped pulsing after a couple of minutes, I let him get softer in my mouth but was careful to not stimulate him. He lay there panting for a couple of minutes before his tongue began it's work again. 

I attempted to move, but he pinned me down on my back and buried his face in my pussy. It was my turn to begin moaning when he chuckled. Using my juices, he took his fingers and started to massage my ass. I've been wanting this to happen for a while. Oh did this feel real good. His tongue in my pussy and his finger starting to get into my ass, I was in heaven. Since I didn't have a cock in my mouth any more, I could talk. "Scott keep going, keep going with that magic tongue and that finger , my ass, oh yes up my ass, just keep going." I pushed his face harder into my pussy. I came and collasped. He turned me to the head of the bed and spooned me, falling asleap.




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 03



He was out like a light while I cradled him in my arms. If this is what our life is going to be like, then heaven help us, it's going to be that wild ride. I turned the light off, pulled the covers over us and I slowly fell asleap, thinking of this man of mine.

It was still dark out when I awoke and felt Scotts body against my back. I felt his chest and stomach, that kept me warm, but I also felt something else between my legs. It was hard and getting harder. I moved slightly and wiggled my ass back into him, Then his hands reached over and began to softly caress my breasts as his mouth began kissing my neck. I was enjoying it for a few minutes when he finally whispered into my ear. "I want to make love to that glorious body of yours." I wiggled by ass in reply, feeling his cock between my legs. "Well big boy, you better get a trojan so you can fuck this pussy of mine." "Emma, love of my life, do you have any more, I ran out and forgot to get more." We both knew what we were not going to be doing next.

It didn't take long for each of us to start playing with each other. He flipped around again and I saw his cock at my face while he buried his mouth in my pussy again. I wasn't complaining at all. He started pumping my mouth harder while he went hot and heavy on my clit. That got me going like I couldn't believe. I rolled over from my side and got on my hands and knees, straddling him. I started pushing my pussy into his mouth while I sucked his cock. I tried to take control. I got to look down beneath me and see his chin graze my triangle of hair. It only made him work harder and harder. I felt like a real slut, a lovely slut and I enjoyed every second of it. That's when he slapped my cheek and put two fingers up my pussy while he ate me. I was in heaven and pulled my mouth off of him. I was moaning. "Don't you dare stop, suck that pussy, eat me alive" Without warning, he shoved a finger up my ass. I exploded and stopped everything I was doing to him. I rode that climax, I rode his face, I ground my pussy into his lips. There was no way I could do anything else. 

I was still panting when he started to talk. "You look real good with my cock in your face Emma, real good." But before he stopped talking, I was back on it. He tried to be on top, but I wouldn't let him. Now I was remembering something that the blond did to Juan. I got my finger real wet from the spit dripping from my mouth and touched his rosebud. He jumped a bit, but didn't protest at all. In fact, I thought I heard a slight moan. I had come down enough to allow him to start eating me again, and he made a half hearted effort to do that. I was hearing more and more moans from him as I sucked his cock and played on the outside of his ass hole. I spit on my fingers and shoved my middle finger all the way in his hole. He jumped again, this time, meeting my thrusts with his. I pistoned my finger it in and out, just like my mouth was doing to his cock. I would have loved to see us in a mirror, me straddling him, my mouth on his cock, my finger up his ass, watching him moan. That blond and Juan did something to me, and I wanted more. 

Scott was pumping his cock into my face and his ass into my hand. Then he started breathing heavier and I felt the familar shudder when he came. His first spurt of cum hit the back of my throat, followed by the second. He kept trying to shove his cock down my throat, but I was on top. I was able to swallow those first two when the third and forth hit. I wasn't going to swallow all this. I love him, but that only goes so far. I pulled a tissue to empty my mouth while Scott flipped back around, fully kissing me before we both fell asleap again.



Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 04



It was Scott's turn to drive, and we were heading east. I was holding his hand and humming a happy tune. "Scott that was a great time with your Uncle and Aunt. For me it was a busman's holiday working on their house. But I think that you and I got to know both of them, and in such a short time. That was really good to have close family like that."

"Emma, I can see why Max keeps you around. Tim and I are talking about a dip in the floor, and you talk him into fixing the support beam, new wider doors to the bedrooms, more electrical outlets, new drywall over the plaster and lath. You get Ly turned on by helping her plan and then do the decorating with just paint. Three different colors in each bedroom? It was beautiful. I did notice that every wall was white before we got there. I'm going to have to be on my guard if you ever want me to so something. Do you sell ice in northern Alaska in the winter?"

"Oh, give me a break. Yes it was the mushroom effect. But look at it this way. Ly and I had talked about she and Tim staying in that house until they no longer can. He's over 60 now. She is about 5 years younger. Fixing the dip damaged the already poor condition of the interior walls. Those walls were substandard when they were first plastered in the what, early 20's? The doorways were way to narrow for older adults now and the doors were 1950's crap, probably was an attempt to modernize the house. That and that replacement trim needed to go. It's a craftsman's style house. Wider pre-hung new oak doors in the style of the house, flat walls, period style woodwork. What's was not to like? Besides, It was the right time to do it. 

"For a bonus, I didn't tell them that I was going to have you install more electrical outlets on new circuits. Did you see how many electrical extension cords there were in those bedrooms. How over loaded the circuits were? They used the one we slept in as an office. It screamed out fire hazard. Was that over the top?

"It was good that the service had unused capacity and you ran a couple of new circuits in the crawlspace. Romex did make it easy. By the way, very good work on the wiring. You learned that in the Marines?"

"One of my many hidden talents." That's when I lightly punched him the arm. "Actually, I watched the electricians when I had that summer job as a construction laborer. They had me pull some wire. The first time I attached an outlet, the electrician quietly told me about the importance of code. Black and white or colored wires have a real meaning. I read a booklet that day and he mentored me the rest of the summer. I'm not just a pretty face."

I swatted at his arm again. "Talk about hidden talents Scott. You were monitoring and working with the crew leader of the delivery team for the beam. The crew was about half Hispanic and it wasn't going very well at first. Then in Spanish, you instructed that young workers on how to use the winch and keep safe in case something went wrong. I still remember the look on that one kid's face. What was the joke you told him to break the tension?"

"I apologized for my Spanish. I told him I learned Spanish from a Texan-Mexican-American, a Puerto Rican American and from people from several different regions in Spain who don't talk to one another. The last one got him laughing. Then I told him I couldn't read Spanish if I tried except for bathroom, tequila and tacos. Honestly, I was afraid he was going to get hurt. By the way, how did you figure out that some of those guys did drywall taping? It was interesting negotiating in English from you and then in Spanish to them."

"Oh, give me a break. I was looking in their trucks and saw the tools of the trade. These guys had durabond as well as joint taping compound. I then knew that these guys worked at a higher lever because of that. Besides, your Uncle and Aunt have a place that the harder product would be better."

"Emma, now that they're not around and you can talk. Fill me in. I know that there was more going on than what was said."

"Scott, Ly asked me not to say anything, but I discovered when you two were initially looking at the dip, sound carries in that house. She heard us the night before, all of it. Including my story about Juan and the blonde and she listened to our lovemaking. She said that Tim goes out like a light, just like you do, or at least I thought you did till that night I barely over heard them. That shocked the heck out of me that night.

"Anyway, I was mortified. That's only one of the reasons for new plasterboard in the hallway and bedrooms. The layer of wallboard in each bedroom over the plaster deadens sounds. That's why we had a couple of days not making love in the bedroom at night until it was up. Besides that, we ran out of Trojans."

"No, we didn't run out. A fresh box magically appeared on my side of the bed on Monday night. I thought you bought them." I shook my head no. "I saw them and I thought you did. Go figure. I wonder which one of them did? By the way, Tim told me about sound carrying in the house on Monday. He also asked me not to tell so no one would be embarrassed. 

"By the way Emma, what would Max have charged for that work we did? I understand that there was no insurance, overhead and all that stuff. Tim spent about $1,600 total out of pocket."

"Understand that skilled labor has a high price tag. Health and benefits and all that. People have to make a living...about an easy $4,000 to just cover the out of pocket costs. Then there is liability, depreciation... Maybe $6 to $7 thousand. We got by cheap with the labor.

"By the way, you did a great job organizing and planning the work and the work site. You're a natural at it. Starting with installing the jacks in the house to planning how to get a beam longer then the crawlspace into the crawlspace, then be fit to be sistered to their original beam."

"That was something I did learn in the Marines going through the ranks. I also learned it from that electrician that summer. I didn't apply all I could be until I left the states, but that's the past. This is the future."

We became silent for a while. He was driving east. We were leaving the west coast and heading on home, home the long way that is. I called Max and got another 10 days when we started to work on Tim's house. I also called Gene and Curt. They were happy for the update. They also told me that someone else will take care of my doctor visit slot for that week. I called Gina and she was looking over my apartment and took care of the two bills I don't pay on-line. All of them told me to take our time and enjoy the country with Scott.

We were heading toward Yellowstone. I did make a request of Scott. I didn't want to camp. I'm not thrilled about being bear meat and there had been some bad encounters in the news recently. He wasn't thrilled, but there was a Motel 6 with rooms, hot water showers and soft beds. We did spend the rest of the time, including cooking and eating in Yellowstone Park or the Tetons. 

Those four days were magical. I don't remember having hiked in such a beautiful place in my life. We'd be walking along in single file on the trail and Scott would stare at me. I was first, but I still kept catching him looking at my ass instead of the scenery. I razzed him about that. "Emma, somebody has to. And besides, you're so enamored of the scenery that you aren't paying attention to things that might be dangerous. Stuff like cliffs, animals, rock slides, bolts of lightening, MIG 25's." 

"Funny guy Scott, real funny." Then he yelled stop. I was going to miss a beautiful view of a waterfall. While standing there, he patted my ass. He was also getting something out of it for him too. I started thinking about giving him something too.

On the second night, we pulled into the hotel after dark and headed in for showers. The campfire we were at left us smelling of the campfire and foil pack hamburgers we had just finished. Tin foil packed with ground meat, onions, veggies, garlic powder over a couple of coals we were loaned from a couple that were in the campground. We shared a bottle of wine with them, so it all turned out fine for everybody. They were from Texas, near Louisiana. They loved the lack of humidity and the mountains.

Getting back into the hotel, I asked Scott to start the shower and I'd join him after I took care of our clothes. We had three days of clothing to be out in the woods with. We just finished day two. I wasn't going out in the woods smelling like a hamburger.

He jumped into the bathroom first and tossed out his clothing that I bundled into a large sized trash bag. Tomorrow morning was laundry day for us before we went hiking.

I quickly peeled off my outer hiking clothes and added them to the bag. The jeans were a little bit loser than when this trip started. This man has been real good for me. I don't know why, but eating healthier and the extra exercise during the day and at night has done wonders for my body. Even with all the wine and beer we've been drinking.

It disrobed and put my bra and panties into the dirty clothes bag. I then took out a small tube of lotion for later. I also took out some cheese, some crackers, a small dry sausage that I sliced and opened up a bottle of wine, pouring the wine into some large plastic cups to breathe. Who knew that 2 buck chuck was so good if you let it sit out a while? Now was the time to join him in the shower.

I walked into a steam room, wonderfully warm. Scott was reaching out to me with open arms. I could see that he had washed already. Within seconds of seeing me, he was starting to be ready for me in other ways too. "Hey beautiful, come on in, the water's fine." He reached over and started to wash my back. I turned around quickly for him. I wanted him to look me in the eye as he washed me. "I love your hands all over me Scott. Got any special plans for tonight lover?" That little word caused his cock to twitch and his mouth to smile. "Oh I don't know, may be just watch a little TV." There was that special smile. We so love playing with each other. "So watching my ass all day hasn't given you any ideas?"

That was when he hesitated and I knew I had him then. "So you have had some ideas, haven't you?" I started to slowly turn around and said, "I wonder what they are?" and backed my ass into him while moving it in a circular motion. I felt him harden very quickly. That's when he reached over and grabbed both of my hands and held them effortlessly in the air over my head. "You little tease. You shake your ass at me all day long and you continue to tease me." He held my hands against the wall with his left and put his right hand into my slit from behind. "So that's what you been wanting from me. You want my cock in you. Don't worry, by the time I'm finished, you'll be walking funny tomorrow." He continued to stroke me. I stared moaning, but I had other plans.

"I know you've got me now, but there's something you're doing wrong." He stopped and brought his face to where he could see mine. "Your hand needs to go back a little further, it's to close to my pussy, not where I want it to be." 

Scott stopped cold at that point. While looking in my eyes I nodded to him and said "Just be gentle, your having my cherry tonight." He slowly released my hands and wrapped his arms around me. I've never felt so loved by this man. We continued to wash up and rinse off and got out of the shower wearing only the towels.

He came out and saw the spread of food and drink that I put out before. Passing one of the glasses to me, he toasted, "To this wonderful woman, this woman who continues to surprise me." I sipped some of the wine when he added, "Who knew I've been wanting her ass all day long." 

"No Scott, you've been wanting it much longer than that. I've seen it in your eyes. I've felt it when you first started playing with my ass and then putting your fingers into it. You've began to hear me moan when you've did that. But to fuck me? To put your cock into my ass? You've always waited for me to feel comfortable before you tried anything, haven't you?"

He looked at me with the warmest eyes I've ever seen on him. "You are the woman I love. It's not about getting my jollies. It about being together and enjoying each other. It could be dinner, or listening to music. It could even be washing each other in the shower. But it definitely is enjoying each other in bed. You told me on this trip that I was your best lover. Well I have to admit, you are also my best lover. I know you looked at those other women, sleeker, muscular, blonder, taller, what ever. It's always been you that turns me on. It's what's inside of you that's precious." 

At that he stood up and took the food and drink off the bed. I reached over and pulled him down to me, kissing and hugging him in the process. Holding and kissing him, I reached for the lotion and placed it in his hand. "I do hope that this is going to work. I'm a little worried. Do you think that this will be enough lube?"

"Don't you worry your sweet ass about it." I gave him the look for that one. In a warmer and loving tone he said "We'll go nice and slow and we can stop at any time." And with that, he had me lay on my back and spread my legs. I thought that he'd start right away, but he didn't. He started to make 'normal' love to me. Kissing, holding, caressing everywhere, everywhere but my pussy and my ass.

I soon realized that he was not making my ass the destination. He was making me the destination. He was making this experience as part of us, our love, our love making, and our life together. These last few weeks with him has been so special, and he is doing it again.

Without me being aware of it, his hand slowly slipped to my hood, and I shuddered in pleasure when he found it. He gotten me wet and I moaned into his mouth while our tongues intertwined. He so knows how to read me like a book, me can make me do anything he wants to, and he knows it. 

I reached for his cock and give it a good stroke. I felt his body tense and relax because of that. Lovers. We are lovers. We are lovers in bed and in life. I stroke him with a firmness to please him, to please me. That's when he puts two fingers into my pussy and a thumb on my clit. I gasp and moan and stoke him harder, just how he likes it. He touches me, just how I like it.

Our breathing becomes quicker when he pulls his fingers out of my pussy. Waiting, waiting for him to do something. Leaving me hanging, he teases me so. I give his cock a good yank and he chuckles, "Impatient my dear?" Then he starts touching my ass, my rosebud, my ass hole, my cherry. He slips two other fingers into my pussy as he starts to put a finger on to my cherry ass. "Does that make it all better now?" As his finger slowly enters just so gently, so slightly into my rosebud, then comes back out. Then his mouth begins licking and sucking and playfully lightly biting my nipples. I feel him reach over me to the lotion. 

"Use as much as you want, but go slow, go slow for me." I'm wanting his cock in me, and fearing it too. I know it'll be good after a while. I don't want to feel pain.

"Emma, we'll take our time, slowly you'll relax. I swear it will be ok." And with lotion on his hand, I feel the coolness and the slipperiness on my ass while he rubs in slowly on. Whispering into my ear, "Does this feel better now?" while he licks my ear. He knows what that does to me and I push my ass back into his hand slightly. He moves his face to my left nipple and licks and sucks it gently while I feel a finger slowly enter my ass. 

He's had his fingers on and in my ass before and I've liked it. I've grunted and groaned while he had a finger in my ass and his other hand or his mouth on my clit. He knows how to lead me, how to take me places I've never been before. He plays me like a fiddle and loves to hear my music. He's my teacher as well as my lover and my friend.

"Doesn't this feel good my little one? Doesn't it feel good to have my fingers in you?" He moved his face away from my chest and down to my pussy. I feel his tongue on my slit as his fingers continue probing my ass. I look at him, see his cock and I reach over to it. I stroke it and start to jack him, pulling him to my mouth. He lets me win, watching me lick his helmet while he stops massaging my ass.

"Suck it, you suck it so good. I love watching you suck me. Watching my cock in your mouth, your eyes looking at mine." That's when he pulled out of my mouth with a bit of a pop. "But now, I'm going to take you. I'm going to make you so enjoy my cock in your ass. Get on your knees and point that wonderful ass of yours into the air for me."

I rolled onto my knees and stuck my ass into the air toward his face. I swayed it back and forth in front of him while looking over my shoulder. Swaying my ass in the air, giving it to him. Being subservient, so wrong, and so sexy, so exciting. This was sex, this was lust, and this was with my love. I never thought I'd ever be doing something like this. I could see him smile as he reached and put both hands on my hips. Getting more lotion, he lubed his cock. He stroked it just for me to see. Seeing your lover stroke himself while watching you, what a turn on. He put more lotion on his hands and lubed my ass while he put two fingers into me. It was a little bit uncomfortable at first, but taking his time, it began to feel good. I started to fuck his fingers with my ass when he whispered into my ear "You've going to love this."

He knelt between my legs and I felt the tip of his cock touch my rosebud. "What and I doing to you now Emma? Tell me."

"You got me so hot and now I'm feeling your hard cock at my ass. Is that what you want me to say lover? Do you want me to say that your cock is starting to go into my ass?"

"No Emma, I want to hear you say that you want my cock in your ass. I want to hear what you want my cock to do in your ass. My naked cock, bareback, into your ass. Tell me."

"Start pushing that hunk of meat into me, start pushing slowly. I want your cock. I want to feel it slowly slide into me. I want to feel it piston in me. I want to feel you come in me. I can't wait until we get back and I get on the pill. I'll be wanting you to come in me all the time. I want you to come on me all the time. Now put it ...ohhhhh.. please ... slow please."

I could feel his cock start to get into me. It wasn't overly painful, but not pleasant either. Scott reached around and started to stroke my clit with his clean hand. After a minute or two I felt my ass loosen up a little when he whispered that I should back into him at my pace. He would hold still and let me be in control. That's when he started massaging both of my breasts with his hands.

I started to slowly rock on his cock, only going as fast as I felt comfortable with. He was whispering how good it was feeling and that it would soon get better for me. He told me how he loved how tight my ass was, how it felt divine as he flicked my clit. I love it when he talks dirty tome. As I loosened up more, the better it felt. The better I felt, the more I rocked. Pretty soon something clicked in me. 

"Do you like fucking this whore's ass? Do you like turning me into a whore? Ohhhh Fuck this ass, fuck this whore's ass. You make me feel so slutty. Do you like me slutty? Yes you do, you love me slutty."

"I love you slutty, I love to hear you want my cock, but you're my slut, my only slut. My one and only whore. And you're only a whore to me." And he slapped my ass hard, leaving a slight pink mark where his hand hit. 

I gasped and pushed my ass to meet his thrusts harder and harder. "Do you like slapping your whore's ass? Is that what you like? Pound your whore's ass and slap it too?" At that he slapped my other cheek and I groaned in pleasure. "You make me so fucking horny, you make me so fucking hot. Pump my ass harder, pump it you hunk of meat.." 




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 04



Stroke after stroke I was feeling him piston into my ass, my sweet hot ass. As he reached around and frigged my clit, it hit me. "Fuck this ass, make me come, your whore wants to come NOW" and I started coming, my body jerking uncontrollably. It was the most intense organism I ever had in my life. I couldn't see or hear anything else. I collapsed on the bed with Scott sprawled over me, his cum leaking from his dirty cock onto the towel. We came together and lay spooning, our bodies covered with sweat and cum and something else.

Waking after a half hour, we showered again. Finishing our wine, we made love another time before falling a sleep, in 

After days at Yellowstone we ended up at Devils tower in eastern Wyoming. The monument could be seen for a hundred miles or more. In the rain, it's just there on it's own. It's size makes us feel small, small in the universe. We parked at the base and hiked about 20 minutes where we stopped and rested. 

Looking up at it, Scott slowly started talking about his other scars, the non-physical ones. "After I was wounded and was in the hospital in Germany, I had a couple of panic attacks. The help I got there was pretty good. Got to talk about it with people there, professionals and other patients. 

"PTSD. Post Tramatic Stress Disorder.

"Talking about it soon and talking with others made the difference. It was actually healthier to go back to my unit and finish my time there. Then I got a couple of weeks back in Spain. That gave me time to prepare to come back home. Then when I came back, I was going to put off seeing you another 2 weeks until after the wedding. The three of them ganged up on me." I smiled at him, and he saw it and smiled back. "Even I couldn't deny what they were saying. Sometimes in life I listen to other people who know and love me. Even if it isn't something I want to do."

"Like me Scott? Like me?"

"Especially you." There was a questioning look in his eyes, a painful questioning look.

"You want to know what I think now?" He nodded his head, but there was worry in his eyes. "Let me confess to you before I say another word." I cleared my throat, looked down, then back into his eyes, "I've been worried about that since I found out you enlisted and I was still pissed at you. There was nothing I could do about it, so I read about it, and read about it. And I read about artificial limbs too.

"I know that PTSD symptoms sometimes don't surface for months or years after the event. When you didn't answer me for the past 6 months, I was first worried that you found somebody new, or you were dead, or you were injured, or you were injured internally. 

"I guess I was right on the last part. So before you think that what I about to say was something off the top of my head, think again." I looked him straight in the eyes and held both his shoulders. "Don't even think about going anywhere without me. If you have any of those dark places, you damn well better share them with me and with help, we will work it out. This is treatable, like most issues. We can do this.

"You know my dark places too. You've seen them, you remember them don't you?" Scott nodded. He had been with me at some pretty low times in my life. "You hung with me then. This isn't one of us being better that the other, it's different depths at different times. 

"We don't know what the future is, do we?" He nodded no, "But we do know each other. We love each other, without reserve." The wind had kicked up and it was raining hard, but I couldn't remember when it started. I don't know if we just didn't notice it or just didn't care. We hugged and swayed in the wind. We had been standing in the rain and became soaked. I was holding him as if my life depended upon it, and he was doing the same. By the time we broke apart we were drenched. 

It took 5 minutes running to get back the car. Getting in and turning up the heat, that's when I suggested a cheap dry hotel instead of the tent. He raised a pizza chaser. I upped the ante to take out with a couple of beers from the car. He saw my raise and upped it with his handle of Jack. We drove in the rain to find that hotel and the food. and to be in each other's arms until morning. 



Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 05



It took us over two hours or so to find a hotel, not that we were looking very hard. We spent that time driving on state highways, talking about us and the future. As long as we were warm and together, it didn't matter. Finally, it was getting dark and we ended up around Rapid City. 

We found a motel and went in to register. We asked about a diner or the pizza place nearby. The clerk's name was Patty, at least that's what her badge said. She appeared to be a couple of years younger than us and was friendly. She told us the restaurant attached to the motel delivered to the office free of charge. Looking at us drip, she offered the use of the motel's washer and dryer after 8 pm, an hour from now. That was when the house keeping staff went home. It must have been a slow night for her. 

Getting into the room, we got our things in and immediately turned the heat up and stripped off the wet clothes. Wrapping a towel around me, I made the call for pizza. I know it's silly, but being naked talking on the phone to a stranger, not my style. If it was Scott, that'd be totally different. He'd probably answer the door that way if he had that much nerve, or that many beers. Anyhow, garbage pizza, all the toppings, 45 minutes. They drop off at the front desk. I asked the order taker if he could get something for the clerk that she'd like, on our tab. That ended up being a special pizza for one. I had sent Scott in for the first shower so I could take some time for mine, and he'd have to go to the desk. I'd rather it be him putting on some clean jeans and a t-shirt and shoes than me.

I pulled out a pair of beers and stated slowly sipping on mine when he came out of the shower. The hot water on his body highlighted the different scar tissues he wears. This whole trip, he's been working on the internal ones. 

I grabbed my things to go into the shower when he reached over and playfully slapped my right cheek. When I turned toward him with my pretend-I'm-mad face on, he hugged me, and then playfully slapped the other cheek. Somebody here feels like they own my butt. I tensed up and took a step back. "Wait a minute, hold it right there." My tone was not playful. He froze and before he could say a word, "There is no playing with the merchandise before dinner, GOT IT?" I busted out laughing and he followed suit. With his best fake western drawl he could come up with, "Sorry ma'am, I just couldn't control myself. I see by the time and the phone call, that I'll be moving along to that there desk area. Hope to see you soon, ma'am. I see that you left this beer out for me ma'am. Thank you so much ma'am."

He was reaching for me as I ran into the bathroom and quickly locked the door. That's when I called out that I had gotten something for the clerk too and we were paying for it. Scott took our dirty and wet clothes with him. He could get the wash in now and we could get it into the dryer after we ate. But right now, I've got a few minutes to myself. 

I don't like shaving in front of anybody, not that Scott is just anybody, but still. I've a bit more shaving to do tonight. After taking a very healthy one, I jumped into the shower. I can never get enough of warm showers after hiking around outside in the fresh air, let alone being wet but warm in the car for hours. The shampoo and the rinse made my hair smell good. I think it's ok, but Scott really likes it. I needed to make sure that I was as clean as possible today. I had plans. That handle of Jack was going to give us another little bit of a boost. Been enjoying some new things that we brought into our lovemaking, I was feeling like I'd like him to take my ass again.

While I was drying my hair, Scott came back in with a very large pizza. Wrapped only in a big bath towel, I came to the bed where he put the pizza. He smiled and pulled out some paper plates we kept in our basket. Loading up a big piece for each of us, we dug in. It had been quite a few hours since we ate and we only came up for air after that first piece had disappeared. "The clerk was thankful for the pizza. She said she'd put the clothes in the dryer and give us a call when they're finished. Can you pass me another beer? This one's empty." I passed him another one while he put another piece of pizza on my plate. "You know Scott, this isn't bad pizza. Since we've gotten back together, you've improved my palate. This one doesn't taste like any of the chains." 

We continued to leisurely eat pizza, drink beer and talk when we got a call from the desk, the laundry was dry. Scott ran off to get it and I cleared the bed. We still had pizza to go, but taking care of the laundry was going to give us both more rest. It's funny, when we were living together, it didn't matter. Not for either of us. Somewhere along the way, we both got clean and orderly. Taking care of the things that have to get done so we could relax? Is this growing up and being in your mid-20's? It took us 10 minutes to sort, fold and put away. 

I got into an oversized football jersey from Scott, and he put on some boxers and a t-shirt. High fashion we ain't, comfortable we is. I was lying on my side and the shirt slowly moved up my legs until I was starting to show something that interested Scott. That's when I heard a loud "Don't display the merchandise unless I can play with it."

"Who me? Would I do something like that Scott?" That's when he got up and took the pizza from my hand and stood me up. He has 5 inches on me, and I've always loved looking up to him. He wrapped his arms around me and gave me the biggest hug he could. I was expecting a slap on my cheek, or even a good grab of my butt, but it never came. He held me with tenderness and a love. 

I started to feel him sob quietly, the jerking of holding in a cry. That's when I started to cry too. Today was another one of those emotional roller coaster days, the days that ended well, again. Bus such things were brought out and shared. We both had things from growing up that bothered us and sharing them helped to put them to rest a little. We sat down and held each other for a few minutes when I asked him if he was good now. 

"I came back to Iowa full of hopes and dreams and fears and unknowns. I didn't trust you over 4 years ago when I flipped. And now? There is no one else in the world that I would ever trust more."

"There is no one else in the world that I love and trust more that you Scott. No one comes close. I've looked, and I've waited for you." I gave him a very tight hug, and then I backed away a bit. We were good now with each other. "Tonight can we do something different?"

"Sure Emma, what do you want to do different?"

"I don't want to take this time now to get into our feelings. We've done a lot of that in the car today and other places where we had peace and quiet and being alone with one another. It's not foreign, it's not forced. It comes to us pretty readily. We've gotten good at it haven't we?"

"We've gone there more times since I came back than in the months we were living together. And I feel either of us can go there any time we need to." We were playing around and joking while driving to Yellowstone, when something reminded me of my parents. I got all the freedom in the world to talk, and laugh and cry. He listened to me and stayed with me on it all, he had my back and he had my heart. That was a long and draining and wonderful hour.

He nodded yes. "So tonight", I cleared my throat. "I want us to fuck our brains out. Are you in with me on this one? A couple of times I wanted to fuck my brains out with you and we'd get into good and honest and heavy feelings. All day we've done that. I've had a different plan for you now. I want to do it. Can we?" He was laughing when he nodded yes. 

"Emma, I know I sometimes get into it a bit deep, and it's hard for me to switch gears. But you're right. We'll be back there again whenever we need to be. It's gotten so much easier since we've been back together." He reached for my hip and caressed my right cheek. "And how could I refuse the wish of my love saying that she wants to fuck her brains out with me?"

Then I came back with, "Get out that Jack, Jack. We've got some drinkin' to start with." That's when he slapped my cheek and grabbed it after a great big warm hug. I slapped his ass back and he laughed.

"You are one amazing woman Emma, you're not a little girl that I have to protect. You're the woman I'm sharing my bed with." He reached over and got the Jack while I pulled out the motel's plastic disposable cups. Pouring it, he held up his glass for a toast. "Clink, clink. To the woman that's going to take me to the moon tonight." We sipped some and he grabbed another piece of pizza and started to feed me. Then he asked me "So what is your wonderful plan for this evening?" and started to laugh because I had a mouthful of food. Touché.

"If you're not nice to me, it ain't gonna be much buddy. You can jack off in the... "when another piece of pizza was forced into my mouth. Somebody was having a great time at my expense.

That's when his hands grabbed my breasts under the jersey and slowly rolled my nipples. "You'll find any way to not have to listen to me don't you. Put food in my mouth, get me hot, anything to not listen to me." That's when he pulled the jersey over my head and stood up and took off his t-shirt and dropped his boxers. There standing rigid and tall, a mere 6 inches from my face, his cock was calling to me. I wrapped my hands around it and kissed his helmet while I purred. He loves it when I purr for him. Then he guided my face to his cock, but I pulled away. "You stick that thing in my mouth so you still won't have to listen to me?" He almost fell over laughing on that one.

Sitting down on the bed, he pulled me close and kissed my face and caressed my back. I replied in kind. Then without any warning to him, my fingers started toward his back, then down his crack and back again. After the third time, he held my hand near his rosebud. This was new for me. I've touched him there before and even entered him, but he'd never asked me for it before like this.

I took the hint and started massaging his rosebud while his hands were invading my pussy. That man easily gets me wet, like no one else. "So you want a little back door action tonight, do you? And I'll be happy to oblige you on that." I pushed him onto his back and reached over and got the lotion. Putting some on my right hand, I reached over and with my left and put his cock in to my mouth. My right hand slowly drifted under his balls to his rosebud. 

Rosebud is so refined, so un-nasty, so nice. Pulling my mouth off of his cock, "Scott, you like this don't you. You love to have my mouth on your cock. What do you want me to do with your ass? Tell it to me lover, it's your turn to talk, to turn me on, to tell me what get you hot."

"I love you sucking my cock." That's when my finger went from massaging his ass to barely going into into his asshole, and pumping slowly. "Oh that feelsss ssssso good. I love your fingers up my ass."

At this I put my mouth back on his cock, and looked at him in the eye as I sucked him and pumped his ass slowly.

"It feels so good you playing with my ass while sucking me. You know you're taking my cherry right now? I've never done this before and you're taking my.....oh that feels sooooo goooood. I am going to come soon if you don't slow down. I want this to last, it's everything that I ever thought it'd be."

I slowed down on him and pulled my mouth off of him, but took a final lick of hic cock. "So lover, what other fantasies are you harboring in that other head of yours? I think that we're at the point that you don't have to worry how this whore of yours is going to take it, do we?" He started to protest when my left hand cradled his balls and held them tight, and then twisted them slightly. Not enough to be painful, but enough to make the point.

"A... I mean..."

"Come on lover, we're both naked with each other now. Naked in every way. You need to trust me. When you say one of yours, I'll say one of mine. OK?" He nodded and I loosened his balls and started licking his helmet. You can get about anything from a man with his cock in your mouth. 

"When you told me about seeing Juan and the blond, I couldn't get it out of my head. All I could think about were the times I accidently saw other people fuck and suck. I've walked in on people a couple of times, all kinds, a man and woman, two women and even two and three guys. Always became embarrassed then left quickly or quietly or both. 

"At European beaches, I got to see a lot of naked people. I've wondered what it'd be like seeing them in action. Guess that I'm a voyeur, a closet voyeur."

I took his cock back out my mouth by this time and slowly stroked him there, and in his ass. He was slightly pumping his ass to my fingers. But now was my turn. 

"I wasn't that adventurous before you came back. The biggest thing I learned before you came back was to tell my partner to do what I wanted, and do what they wanted. That's when I found I loved getting eaten, I love a man's tongue between my legs more and more. 

"Since you came back, it's all different. Mary and I talked a little bit about her being a lesbian, and all that it meant. I'm not interested in doing that." Scott looked a bit relieved at this point. "But I know that that's sometimes that shows up in porn. I don't think that seeing that would freak me out now. A month ago I don't know. Being around your Corps buddies, straight, gay, bi, most of them a bit kinky...I guess that it's no longer out of this world for me." I cleared my throat, took a sip of jack, then another. I know that I'm not fearless.

"I want to watch porn, all kinds of porn. I've never done it. You know how much of a turn on it was to see Juan and the blond. Spying on people is not ok, but watching porn? I know that it's easy to get, easy to see. I guess that I could figure it out, but you're a guy. I think that you probably know how. I'm still not OK and probably never be OK with taking others into our bed. But we could watch it and it'd be OK?"

"Emma, I don't think that I'm leading the way anymore. You're right beside me now. And I think...." that's when I started sucking him for all It was worth and pistoned two fingers up his ass. He shot like a rocket in my mouth and I let it dribble over both of us, making us smell like wonderful sex. I was going to let him rest for a minute before I was going to grab his face and hump it with my pussy.

Being around Rapid City gave us a base for the Black Hills - Crazy Horse, Mt Rushmore , Custer State Park and the Badlands. I've been getting a bit spoiled about not camping. I love being outside, hiking and exploring, but I love the comforts of a soft dry bed too. We found out that it was the 'rainy season' this week and the rain was going to continue on and off for the next few days. I was happy to talk Scott into staying in-doors at night. Getting back to the motel at the end of our first full day, we stopped to reserve another two nights and spoke with the clerk. 

I guess I made an impression with her by getting her something to eat from the pizza place. Patty was a very friendly person, a little younger than us. After reserving the room for another two days, she asked Scott, "So how did you like the Marines?" 

Scott was a bit taken aback, "How did you know?" I looked at him with a bit of a smirk on my face. "Come on Scott, half of the clothes we folded were your marine duds. I'm sure she saw that mine weren't. Besides, look at that haircut." 

"Let me formally introduce myself to you Scott. I'm Patty" and then looking at me I said, "Hi, I'm Emma". 

"Well Scott and Emma, welcome to western South Dakota. If I may ask, are you just here for vacation?" 

Scott answered for us, "I stopped by home and picked up this wonderful woman and dragged her to a wedding in Oregon and then to a visit to my Uncle and Aunt in Northern California. We're just taking our time back to Iowa. After my 4 years in the Corps, we're restarting our life together again." 

"Did you know a Pete Busch in the Corps?" 

Scott stopped, he froze. He looked at Patty for 30 seconds, silent but with probing eyes. Patty realized that something was happening. I could almost hear the wheels turning for both of them. Then Scott broke the silence, "Patrizia?"

It was her turn, something clicked. "You mean your 'That Scott'?" Then she looked at me, "and to complete my out of body experience, I take it your 'That Emma'?" We all paused a couple of seconds when she continued. "So how is that asshole doing now? When did you see that jerk last?"

When Scott is in discomfort, he gets a real pained expression on his face and I saw a big one now. "Patrizia, that letter was the hardest thing he ever did in his life. He and I were together when this happened, and he wrote it right after." That's when Scott rolled up his sleeves and showed her his scars.

The anger on her face drained immediately to a paleness. Scott leaned over the counter to hold her steady while I ran to get her glass of water from the bathroom. She was sitting in the chair sobbing by the time I got back. "I knew something was wrong, I just knew it. Why wouldn't that jerk tell me? Why?" and she started sobbing uncontrollably in her hands. 

When she recovered after a few minutes she asked us both to the small room behind the counter to sit down. "I've had nothing from that guy for seven months except for his Dear John letter and you two pop up. Scott, when did you last see him? How is he doing? Why the letter? Why?"

"Patrizia, this is going to take a bit of time. Can you get off from work and we can find a comfortable place to sit down at? Someplace private?" Then he turned to me, "Emma, are you OK with this? She needs some answers, and I think that you being here will really help."

I looked at Patrizia and Scott thinking that it wasn't just me having issues with these marines. "Patty, or do I call you Patrizia, I've got some recent experience with these guys. We came from a wedding where I met a whole bunch of 'em. I'd be very happy to talk all about it with somebody who ISN'T IN THE CORPS. Can you get some time off? We've got all evening today and I guess we can keep our stay open ended for a while."

Patrizia stood up and walked over the receipts. She pulled out the credit charge paperwork that we had on file and tore it up. "This is on the house."

Scott protested "Don't do anything to get yourself in trouble. It's not worth it. Pull out the form and we'll sign another one."

This time there was a bit of joy in her face. "My family owns this motel. Has for over 40 years. We also own the restaurant. You two will join me for a special dinner tomorrow. At 6. I can't stay up very late tonight, I have school in the morning, but I'll have someone else fill my shift here tomorrow." Scott looked at me and I nodded yes.

"But before you go, why was it the hardest thing that Pete did? I see your scars, but put it into words if you can."

"Patrizia, it was a lot of blood and as always, touch and go for a while. He rather you'd be pissed, away from him emotionally then to come back to you dead or maimed. He was trying to protect you in the only way he knew how. I didn't agree with it, but Emma here can tell you, I didn't do much better. Does that help?"

"So you're saying I can still call him an asshole, but not a fucking idiot?" That's when I looked at Scott and answered to Patrizia, "Sounds about right to me. Been there, done that but I'm still waiting for the t-shirt from this one".

At that point four different couples entered the lobby area needing rooms. There were seven crying children and some very over tired parents. Patrizia asked each family what type of room they wanted, pulled out the keys and told them to come back to register after they settled. Three happier families exited to their rooms while the remaining couple stared registering. She really knew how to make people happy, and quick. This doesn't happen with the big chains. We went back to the hotel room, dodging all the people in the lobby.




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 05



Scott and I spent the next day roaming around Custer State park and watching the buffalo herd. It may sound boring to most people, but for us, it gave a sense of this country. The country that Scott defended. To think that the whole middle of our country was like this. That was amazing.

We got back early to the motel and took showers. I was getting out of the bathroom after my shower when I felt him pull my hands behind me. He used my swim robe's cloth belt to tie them together. I started to protest when he used a clean bandana to cover my eyes. Only then he whispered into my ear, "You are now under my total control, so go along quietly." I giggled. He guided me to the bed and had me sit down, then he gently pulled me back while he untied my hands only to quickly tie them back up again together above my head and then to the head board. He pulled out some rope that I didn't know we had and soon I was naked, spread eagled on the bed. He did say that I was going to be in for a wild ride. 

The next thing he whispered to me was "Remember Bettendorf" and I nodded yes, our safe word. Now the fun was going to begin. He left the room completely. I didn't know what he was doing, or what was going to happen to me. I've never been this helpless before. Oh, if I wanted to, maybe I could get free, but this was getting to be a bit hotter.

I heard him reenter the room and quickly shut the door. That's when I realized that if anyone was looking at the door when he opened it, I would've been on display and never know it. Suddenly I felt like when I realized that his aunt and uncle overheard us make love. Then it was after the fact, now it would be immediate. 

Scott sat on the bed next to me, quietly and motionless when suddenly I felt something cold on by left breast -- ICE. That made my nipple stand straight up and caused me to jump. He followed it with his warm mouth and his hands tracing circles on the inside of my thighs. 

He was in his tease mode. The jerk knew how to work me up and almost bring me to the brink, then stop suddenly, then repeat it all over again. How I hated and loved it at the same time. He was between my spread legs and began licking the inner part of my thighs, always approaching then moving away from my pussy. Whenever I moved my pussy to his mouth, he pulled back right away and started chuckling, telling me no, no, no, no. Damn, could he be frustrating. 

He slowly, oh so slowly moved his circling fingers toward my pussy, then I feel something like a feather tickling my breasts, then my feet. Damn him. I don't want to give him the satisfaction, but I can't take this much more. Finally his finger slipped across my hood, "Oh yesssss" pops out of me. 

I heard him chuckle, and I knew I was in for it. The next thing I felt was more ice, right on my hood immediately followed by his mouth making me so warm again. He kept it up, cold then warm, cold and warm. Each time, it was a different place. I could feel me leak onto the towel I was laying on. 

"Do you like that my little kitten? Do you like the ice and fire? You certainly do, I've never seen you wetter." At that his hand started to caress my slit and began to enter my pussy with his fingers. I moaned in appreciation. "You like that too kitten, don't you?"

That's when he suddenly started fucking me with his fingers, fucking me hard. "Pretty little woman likes being the center of attention." 

"As long as you keep the center of attention on my pussy you can have your way with me. Oh, just keep going. Oh yesss."

He bent down and started to suck on my breasts. Not a gentle suck, but a rough and hard edged one. That man was building me up. "Oh yessss, keep going you ..."

"OH SHIT, WE'RE DUE AT DINNER IN 5 MINUTES," and he pulled his hands away from me and started untying me quickly and I pulled the blindfold off. "We gotta get there. That family eats at 6PM sharp. I remember the stories of Pete being 10 minutes late. Hurry, get dressed and we gotta run."

I was panting like mad now. First from Scott having his way with me AND NOT FINISHING IT, and now getting dressed and running to the pizza place. 

Scott and I ran down to the restaurant and we were only 5 minutes late. I thought it was only a hole-in-the-wall pizza place. Was I ever wrong. The carry out was at the front, but inside there were several classy looking dining rooms over a pretty big area. I could see over a hundred people could be served there. On this weekday night there were only about 30. After we walked closer to the bar, Patrizia met us and took us to a smaller room in the back. By the time we got there, an older couple started speaking with Patrizia and then hurried away but quickly returned with a bottle of white wine and a tray of appetizers. 

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm ordering for us tonight. Makes it a lot easier. Get a bit comfortable with the Pinot Grigio and the antipasto and I'll be back in a minute." and then she disappeared.

She came back with the older couple she had spoken to before. "I'd like to introduce my parents, Larry and Marcella, or Marcy if you prefer. Would it be ok with you that they join us?" I looked at Scott and nodded yes while he stood up to shake their hands. "Larry and Marcella, it would be great to have dinner with you all." Then looking directly at Marcella Scott said "è un piacere conoscerti. We're honored to be your guests." Than he kissed Marcella on a cheek as she did to him. I've never seen that before. Marcella asked him something else in Italian and he laughed then answered "Io non parlo Italianno" and the four of them laughed. Marcella took off with some very rapid Italian and Scott and the other three of then laughed again. Marcella said "Si sapeva che cosa ho detto." and Scott answered "Capisco più". Looking at him with a question, he said to me, "I told them I don't speak Italian, but I understand more. They knew it for sure when I laughed at their joke in Italian, I just know enough to get in trouble. We'll be fine." Larry thankfully only shook my hand and started to pour the wine. 

Passing the antipasto plate to us, Marcello said in her accented English, "It's Milanese salami, no find Genovese salami here. Try it, very good, our favorite. And the formaggio's asiago, good 'Visconsin asiago. The soft pieces on the sinestra, on the left are milder, the harder pieces on the right, sharper." 

Those cheeses, the salami, the prosciutto that reminded me of Virginia ham. All the food on the tray tasted wonderful. It was small amounts of very high quality food, but eaten slowly with lots of conversations along the way. I turned to Marcella and Patrizia, "When we ordered pizza that first night, I told Scott that my palate had changed. It was pizza, and I wasn't expecting much. This pizza was wonderful, such flavor. It was way beyond what I grew up with. Scott and I are from small town Iowa and food is not that big of a deal there. This whole trip I'm finding out how much I was missing out. This meal is out of this world." Patrizia was about to say something when her mother took over. "You and Scott, you learn what's a important." Then Patrizia broke back in, "You have to love my mother, don't get a word in edgewise, but you've got to love her." Then her mother came back louder with "Listen you. Do they know what they eat? How can you appreciate good eat without knowing?" At that point Larry broke in, "So Scott, how long have you been out of the Marines?" 

Scott started talking about his last couple of weeks and then out. As he talked about his journey, Patrizia spoke quietly to me on the side. "Don't worry. This isn't arguing, this is normal. Italians have a passion, and it tends to be on or off. No half way measures. You may not believe it, but nobody here was angry. I saw it on your face and I had to tell you it's ok." 

"Thanks Patrizia, I've been in a foreign country ever since I left home. It's been a wild ride, a good ride, but a wild one." I was going to speak with her some more, when the next course arrived. 

It was tortellini chicken soup. It was a chicken soup that I never tasted before. This time Scott was the one that spoke up. "This is the best chicken soup I've ever had in my life. I cannot believe how it tastes. There's a freshness, a lightness, a flavor." 

Larry answered on this one. "I've gotten to know some of the local farmers and we've worked out some things. You're right, this isn't normal factory chicken. This is the equivalent of his private stash.. whoops.. I mean his private stock. His daughter got married about a year ago and we traded a reception here with out of pocket costs for a supply of this and a couple more things for the restaurant. We liked it so well that we now have a contract with him to be to be a supplier to us. You know, it's not about how much you eat, it's about how well you eat." 

Marcella called for the next wine, and the pinot Grigio was replaced by a pinot noir. Same grape, but the noir keeps the grape skins in the wine making process so its ends up a red. The wines are very different. While sipping this new wine, we started talking about foods and different foods in different cultures. That led me to ask Larry "So how did you meet Marcella. South Dakota is not anywhere near Italy and Italians." Marcella broke in before he had a chance. "I'm a Veronese first, from the Veneto second, Italian third. Maybe Italian a little bit." Patrizia play rolled her eyes for her father and we chuckled a bit.

"I was in the Air Force in the early 80's and was assigned to a US Air Force base near Vicenza, about 45 or so miles west of Venice. I met this girl at the train station one day. I used to take day trips to Venice when I had some time off, it's wonderful there. You've been?" Scott nodded yes. Venice, what a place I'd like to see. 

Larry went on, "Well, my Italian was poor but passable, her book English was much better and the rest is history. I'm originally from Rapid City and that's where we've been since." He was about to say more when the main course showed up.

There were three kinds of meats and 4 types of vegetables. Patrizia apologized saying that they've gone more American than Italian on this part. It should have been spread out over more courses, but they were rushed this evening. 

This was the second time I was going to have lamb, and it was better than the first if that was possible. There were some steaks that melted in my mouth and something smaller, about the size of a chicken but darker, rabbit. I've had rabbit before when friends would hunt, but this was not gamey at all. It was heavenly. 

The vegetables on the other hand were to die for. Yard long string beans stir fried in olive oil with a clove of garlic, something they called peperonata made up of many different types of sweet peppers, fresh tomatoes that had to be home grown and an eggplant and zucchini chaser. Eggplant was another first for me. If I could learn how to cook eggplant and zucchini like this, I'd do it. Sliced thin, very slightly breaded and flash fried in olive oil. Crispy, soft and full or flavor. They also served this stuff called polenta. It was solid, yellow, cut in squares and had grill marks like it was cooked on a charcoal grill. I guess I was looking very puzzled when Patrizia spoke, "Think of it like grilled solid corn meal mush. We normally have it more in the winter with a red sauce and cod and capers. Today, it is grilled and served with olive oil" "Patrizia, these vegetables are so light, so flavorful, so..."

Then Scott broke in, "Emma, they grow their own. Pete told me about the size of their garden." When he said that, the real reason for the dinner came to center stage. It looked like Scott realized it right away. He looked at Patrizia for permission to talk about Pete. She understood and nodded yes.

Scott mainly addressed Patrizia on what he was saying, but he kept her parents in the loop. "I last saw Pete about a month ago. He was healthy and getting ready to be deployed somewhere. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. We've been together in the same unit for about 2 years. He's a friend, not just a comrade." Scott reached for his glass of wine and found it empty. Larry was already on his way with the pinot before Scott knew it. He mouthed a thanks, took a sip and continued.

"Let's get something straight right now. I didn't plan to be here. Emma and I were at Devil's Tower, got soaked in the rain while I was talking about some important stuff in my life. We left wet and got into a warm car. We kept looking for a good sized town to find a dry hotel room. We've been working out a bunch of my things from being a Marine. And a bunch of our things from us before and our future too. Somehow we showed up here. I never realized that you had a motel in your family. It was only when Patrizia asked this Marine about Pete did I put it all together. You've changed your hair. You look different from the pictures Pete had of you.

"You asked me about about the asshole, and I told you that letter to you was the hardest thing that he ever did." He stopped and took a gulp of wine this time. "I'll spill the beans now." Looking directly at Patrizia, "He lied. He lied to you. He hasn't found anybody new. In fact, he hasn't even been looking. He hasn't been looking the entire 2 years I knew him."

I glanced at Larry and saw him smile, both Marcella and Patrizia looked angry and confused. Then Scott continued, "Pete was next to me when the mortar shell hit. I caught most of it, and it really wasn't that bad." That when I cringed and the four of them saw it. They too saw the scar on his neck, they all saw the possibilities. 

"Ok, OK, it could have been worse. In fact it was worse for Pete. I covered him with my blood. He helped me out of the courtyard and called the medic after giving me the best once over he could. Put up a defensive stance and kept me calm. I got airlifted out of there and spent a couple of weeks in Germany in the hospital. 

"That's when Pete sent you that letter. That's when and why he lied to you. He didn't want you to be on the receiving end of news like that." He took another sip of wine, then another before he started again. "There are no good answers for what we go through out there. The way I handled it was not to tell Emma here until I came back. 

"For me, it happened before she asked if we could get back together. This entire trip for me has been to reconnect with her and see if we could really join again." He looked at me and asked "So far so good?" I nodded yes.

Scott then wiped his brow in a most theatrical over the top manner, and that got a couple of chuckles and a decrease in tension. Looking at Patrizia, his eyes questioned her, they asked her to speak.

"So you are telling me that he isn't an asshole?" she asked.

"Hey wait a minute, that's only my buddy, I can't go that far." Larry and Scott were the first to laugh loudly, and then the other three of us finally got the joke. This male thing, sometimes I just don't get it.

Getting Patrizia's attention I said, "I kind of know what you've been going through. It's been up and down for us. That day he did a Scott to my stuff..." Larry broke in "HE ACTUALLY DID THAT?" Everybody broke into laughter, another tension releasing laughter. I replied, "Yep, but he's now in second place. There's a new queen, a Mother Mary Monster Truck is in first place now."

I talked about that for a minute when I broke back to Patrizia. "It's rough. It's rough for them, it's rough for us. In town we have a couple of other woman and men who have partners in war zones. I also found it it's the same for cops and fire fighters too.

"Scott and I made a pact four years ago to be honest with one another." I reached for his hand, "It's been a work in progress."

Patrizia poured herself another glass of wine, and then refilled her mother's too. "What am I going to do? He .. and then I .... and "

I piped in, "Write him a letter. It may work for you, it did for us. Tell him what you feel. You have all the time in the world to get it as right as you can, or as right as you're willing to be. Scott's talked about Pete to me before. It was never anything bad, really kind of good. You aren't a wall flower..." and Larry busted out laughing, then tried to control it, then busted out laughing again. You have to love dads. I'd give anything to have my father back. They are special, even if they are giving you grief. Looking back at Patrizia I continued, "Trust your gut. You know him inside, you know you inside."

Patrizia looked at me and asked "What did you say to Scott in that first letter." "Patrizia, I said something about..." when Scott broke in "Quote, You stupid jerk. Unquote." The five of us laughed. Then he smiled at me as he turned to Patrizia, 'That'll probably be how you feel. It'll also probably work for you too."

It was a great conversation that we had over the rest of dinner. I felt a soul mate that evening. That family welcomed us both, knowing so little about us. At 10:30 when we left the table to go back to the hotel room, Patrizia asked "Could I ask a big favor from you? I'd like to hug you and Scott for being here. It's made a world of difference for me, and my parents too. Dad believed that Pete was doing exactly what Scott said he did. Both my mom and I thought otherwise." I reached over and we shared a big hug. Scott had been talking with Larry and Marcella when I tapped him on the shoulder. Turning around, he got ambushed with a hug from Patrizia. He relaxed immediately when he saw me smiling at him. 

We got back to the hotel room and the events of the evening, and the wine had mellowed me up. Then looking at the swim robe's belt and the messy bed, I knew that we had unfinished business to attend to. I knew that I wanted my turn now. 

"Get you clothes off and get on that bed, NOW. It's my turn." He looked at me and a half smile came to his face. I was naked in seconds, but he slowly stripped for me. He teased the heck out of me as he granted my demand. By the time he got to his boxers, I stepped on over and took down his boxers and grabbed his hard cock. My tongue was in his mouth and his hands were caressing my breasts when I pushed him back on the bed. In a flick of an eye, I mounted his chest, grabbing his hands together. I picked up the belt from my wrap to tie his hands to the bed when he blurted out in a tense and worried tone "Rock Island, Moline, Davenport". These are three of the quad cities. The last one is Bettendorf, our safe word. There was fear in his eyes. I knew I needed to stop. 

Then I got an idea. I reached over to the side of the bed and picked up something that didn't exist. "Do you see these handcuffs?" He gave me a questioning look on his face. "I'm going to lock your hands to the headboard with these." With that, I grabbed one of his hands, grasped his wrist and said "CLICK", then held his hand to the headboard and said "CLICK" again. The worry left his face and he held out his other hand above his head, and I repeated my clicks again. Shaking his hands I said, "These are strong enough to hold you. Now that I've got you, I'm going to put you to work." 

That's when I mounted his face. "Eat this pussy, eat this pussy good and hard" and I felt his tongue flick my clit. "No, harder, do a better job than that." And he did, oh boy did he ever. "You do such a good job eating that pussy of mine, I could be here for hours." After a few minutes, I got up and turned around, planting my pussy on his face and got to look at his cock. "Keep eating this pussy and I'll think about doing something with that cock of yours. I'll find a good place to put it." I leaned over and licked its side. He shuddered and moaned. 

I kept this up for a few minutes, talking sexy trash to him, kissing or sucking his cock for a couple of seconds, the backing off. He was doing a better job on my pussy as this continued. I was going to come, and then I was going to satisfy him. "Keep eating me, keep eatinggggggg" as I spasmed on his mouth. Before I could recover, he flipped me on my knees and pulled out the lube, swatting my ass to make his point.




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 05



"You want this ass of mine tonight?" I panted. "You want to put that big cock in my ass? You want to fuck me? Fuck me good, any way you want to, just fuck me good." He smeared the lotion on my ass and he slathered his cock with it too. I was pushing my ass in the air for him panting "Fuck this whore's ass. You love to fuck this whore's ass."

"I'm taking your ass tonight. I'm going to piston in and out of you. I love taking you in your ass, and my little whore, you love me to do it." And that's when I felt at first, one finger enter me.

"Oooooo that feels good, I love your fingers in me. In my mouth, in my pussy and in my ass. Where do you like to put your fingers best lover, where in me is it the best?" That's when a he put a second finger in to me, and I groaned and pumped my ass back. "Oh yes, you own this whore's body, don't you? You know own this whore's ass." and I bucked back into his fingers and groaned.

"You like that my little whore, you like me slapping your ass don't you?" I groaned. "Any place I can put my cock, I love to put my fingers. Your mouth, your cunt and your ass. I love all of them. I know it gets you hot and bothered." I groaned again. "Beg for it then. Beg for it now." That's when he pulled his fingers out of me, but shifted his knees now to mount my ass.

"Fuck this whore's ass good and hard. This whore had your mouth on her pussy. Now give her your cock up her ass. Fuck this ass" He slowly placed his cock on my asshole and let me push back into it. I was going slow when he reached around and started frigging my pussy. I just cooed as I slowly backed in. "You like my cock up your ass don't you, my nice hard cock going to fill you up with my cum lover." That's when he popped in and he held still for a minute. As he frigged my pussy, my ass kept feeling better and better and I stated to rock back and forth on it. I was panting and he kept frigging my pussy. I kept rocking harder and harder. Pretty soon, I was bouncing on his cock. "Grab both of my tits and fuck this ass, fuck this ass hard. Frig this pussy, fuck this ass you big piece of meat, you wonderful piece of meat. Keep fucking my ass. NOW, HARDER" 

That's when he rammed me hard, again and again. "Oh do I love this . Oh do I love this when your fingers are in me, when you cock's in my pussy, when your mouth's eating me out. Make me come lover" That's when his body tensed and I could feel him shoot into my ass. Somehow he kept frigging me and I came right behind him. We collapsed on the bed and he pulled the covers over us.

The next day was cold and wet, thunderstorms were rolling through the area. Scott and I had decided to stay inside and read. It was 9:30 in the morning when we heard a knock on the door. It was Larry with a basket filled with different types of food. There were fresh vegetables, small hard sausages, fruit, cheese, Italian bread and two bottles of wine.

"I thought that you'd like a little lunch today. It's pretty bad out there and thought you'd say in. Guess I was right." 

"Emma and I would like to thank you so much for dinner last night. The food and the company, well it was just great. I don't know how we could ever repay you for your kindness."

"My kindness? No, I can hardly repay you for what you've done for Patrizia, and her mother and me. You have no idea. My daughter has been trying to get out of a tail spin in these past 7 or so months, you both, and I do mean you both come along. She's starting to get her legs again. She was blaming herself, she was blaming him, she was blaming the world. Now she knows what happened."

Turning to me he said, "You talking with her about what it was like for you. Wow. She's been feeling alone in so many ways, and here you connected in ways her parents and her friends couldn't. I have to ask, on the first day you were the one who ordered some food that night?" I nodded yes. "And you ordered something for her. Can you tell me why? You didn't know beans about her, but you did it. Why?"

"Larry, I don't really know. I saw somebody working the counter a little bit younger than me, no ring on her finger, no spark in her eye. You don't need a ring for spark, but I thought she needed some cheering up. The guy on the phone suggested a small pizza, a specific type of small pizza. I figured he knew something, so I went with it. That the best answer I can give you because other than that, I really don't have a clue."

Turning back to Scott he said, "My daughter has been struggling with this loss since Pete enlisted right out of high school. They were high school sweethearts. Then about a year ago, he stopped skyping or when he did, there was poor light so we couldn't see very well, and then it became very rare, then non-existent. He blamed it on the connection or the computer or just being busy. Was he lying then too? Did something happen?"

This is when Scott asked that we all sit down. "Larry, he was injured about that time. A couple of scars that could be seen, but those weren't the important ones. The stress and pressure of the job was getting to him a bit. 

"I'm going to guess that you're early 50'S and have probably buried a grandparent or a parent or two?" Larry nodded and held up three fingers. "After a firefight, we have to clean things up. You find that maybe you've actually killed a few people in combat. When you get wounded, you also find out that you are no longer invincible. It's a big shock. Sounds kind of dumb, but we all think that we're invincible. To find out otherwise is hard.

"They've taught us about it and we have places to go, people to see and things to do to deal with it. But you still have to deal with it. Pete is attempting to deal with it. When I got hurt, it shocked him again. He couldn't see hurting your daughter by getting home in a body bag, missing a couple of legs or worse. 

"He has been working on it for these past several months. He's not out of the woods, but he can see the clearing. He'll be ok. That's why I spoke about him last night. It wasn't a slip up when I talked about the garden."

The three of us sat there for the next hour and a half talking about Pete and Patrizia, the Corps, and finally about life in general. It was a real connection with Larry and I know that he was thankful for what we all shared, from what each of us said, and what we all heard. It was also a good thing that he brought the lunch in a basket because we all ended up devouring it early. The wine did help. Wine always helps and Larry is now half Italian by marriage. Wine now flows in his veins.

It was about 11:00 when Larry said that he needed to go see his father. His dad is in his early 70's and lives alone in the family house. Larry's mother died suddenly about 5 years ago. Larry shared that he didn't know how long his father would be able to be there. His father was healthy, but the stairs and the general set up of the house was problematic.

I glanced at Scott, and he chuckled and nodded yes to me. He knew what I was going to do. It's a rainy day, we have nothing to do, so..."Larry, would you like me to take a look and come up with a couple of suggestions? I've been the office manager, estimator and designer for a small construction company for 8 years now. I've been involved with many senior upgrades. At the least, I could give you some ideas and approximate costs. We have a lap top and can do a quick presentation. It's easier to see things that way."

He looked back at me with a big smile, "Emma, that'd be great. I don't know much about senior retrofits, but any ideas would be great. Let me get the car and we can all go together."

I turned to Scott and said, "Get the camera, laptop and I saw that you've got a tape measure and some notebooks in the car. I think we'll drive behind him. I don't know how long this is going to take and we shouldn't hold him up. I'd rather get all the information we need first." We grabbed the raincoats, boots, laptop and headed out the door.

We didn't get away from his father's house until after 3 PM. We took pictures and measurements. Scott looked at the expected sun, snow and wind areas and the terrain around the house. For being in the 'city', it was a great location and grounds. It was like rolling off a log for the house recommendations for me. 

We sat with Harry for the last hour listening to the things he had to say. We heard what he was interested in, what his fears were and what he wanted long and short term. Long term is 5 years, short term is this year. That's a much different time line than we have.

On the drive back to the motel, Scott made a left turn when he should have made a right. "A little lost are we? Isn't the motel the other way?" 

"It is if that is where we are headed to right now. I seem to remember that you had a little request and I remember seeing this place that will have what you want." He looked at me with a shit-eating-grin and didn't say another word no matter how hard I prodded him. It was only about 5 minutes later when we pulled into the parking lot of an adult lover's store. 

I've never been in an adult store before. I've seen them all the time outside of towns and they all looked a bit seedy. This one didn't. In fact, it was a bit classy. Lots of, how shall I put it, garments in the windows. It even looked inviting for a woman. Scott took the lead and held the door open for me. "We're not going to have a lot of time here today, so let's take about 10 minutes and grab something that we can watch on the computer. You did say that you wanted to see porn didn't you? 

I didn't answer him and he started laughing at me. I was in shock. The toys were on the left, the garments, if that's what you'd call them, on the right. The videos were in the middle. "Come on Emma, we can come back later and look at everything in detail then. We've got a proposal to get together. Let's go the bargain bin of DVDs and pick out something quick." Grabbing my hand, he pulled me through the store to the back wall where the discounts were.

"Look at this section. They're pretty well organized here. Here's the anal section, the BSDM section, the ... Emma? Are you ok Emma?..."

I was a kid in a candy store. Who needed to buy any of these, the covers alone were more than I've ever seen in my life. "Emma, we don't have much time. Can I just grab one or two and we can watch them later and lets go?" He no longer was paying attention to me and started to flip thought the different sections. Pulling me back to the front of the store, I found out he bought two DVDs and we were heading back to the car. "Emma, the bargain bin had some old ones. You ever hear of Debbie Does Dallas? Then there's this woman call Jena.

Getting back into the car, he focused me back on the proposal we needed to get together soon. At the motel, we continued our discussions and made rough drawings. Scott had a great eye on the site and the plantings. He knew what could be grown where and why, how to use the current slightly rounding terrain to the best advantage. He also knew how areas in the yard could or couldn't be accessed by a person with mobility issues as well as how to improve access. I've never considered those outdoor types of things before. With his insights, we came up with several plans, and their rough costs. We had a proposal to put together in 2 hours. 

It was 6 PM when we heard a knock on the door. Patrizia was there telling us that dinner was now. There was no question about it. There wasn't a question. It was a requirement. Scott smiled and told her that we'd leave in 2 minutes. She did a 'humph' and walked away forcefully. "Scott, that first day she invited us to dinner, if I remember correctly, it wasn't an invite, was it?" He chuckled and shook his head no. "Is this what you got from Pete about Patrizia?" 

"Yep, and from what I remember from Pete, she is being very polite with us." We gathered our papers and the laptop. The screen was large enough to show the plans and the pictures. I've done enough of these presentations that this was going to be easy. Scott hid the laptop under his raincoat and we made to the restaurant.

Larry's father Harry was there this time. When we had left Harry, we told him that we'd have some rough ideas to look at and discuss. Harry is pretty with it intellectually, a spry 'young' old man. Great attitude, friendly and pretty warm. The wine was already poured for us.

Larry was telling Marcella and Patrizia what we were doing outside in the rain at his father's house. From taking pictures, measuring, even asking for a compass to be entirely sure about things. Everybody wanted to see what we came up with. 

I looked at the crowd and wondered how the sticker shock was going to hit them. I've done this before. "Well, we'll show you a couple of things now and we can talk about them over dinner. Then we can look at anything in detail afterwards. This is more to see what you need to do, can do, want to do and then how much you have to pay for it. Everything is possible with enough time and money." With that, they groaned. "I know that you're all interested in what we came up with, but since I'm not selling anything, let me give you the good news and the bad news. The bad news comes first. Then you can make decisions on the good news. OK?" I got a couple of not so pleasant reactions, but I got a nod from all four of them.

"If nothing else happens, these things have to get fixed. The roof is two years past its life and it's leaking. It looks as if it has three layers. It'll have to be a tear off. The good part of that is you get to put an ice shield membrane down now and fix a couple of other possible venting problems and gutters at a minimal additional cost. Maybe $5-7,000 total. You've got a small roof. By the way, I don't know what's labor's like out here. Aren't the North Dakota drilling fields more profitable?" I heard a couple of groans. Larry talked about needing work done on the restaurant and it came in 30% higher than expected.

"The windows have had it. They are leaky and loose. A handyman could tighten them up for maybe $4-600. The other thing is to bite the bullet and replace them. Mid-line replacements for you would go for about $3,000 installed." There were more groans.

"Now for updating for senior living. A couple of doorways should be widened, doorknobs replaced with levers, faucets replaced with lever operated ones, grab rails and railings installed and a couple more things like that. About $2,000." There weren't any groans this time.

"Right now you don't need a ramp, but you are having a hard time making the stairs. You have a powder room on the first floor and a full bath on the second. Unfortunately, now comes the hard part. You'll need to move your bedroom to the first floor or get one of those electronic stair chair lifts. 

"Unfortunately a lift only solves half the problem. The upstairs bath would need to be gutted. Bath tubs are nice, but it'll kill you to step over that tub. I suggest a shower stall with a built in bench and no base. The floor will need to be rebuilt into the shower base. I'd estimate that at about $4-6,000. Problem is there is still very little room up there.

"Now comes time for thinking outside the box. Bigger bucks, but think about quality of life. Scott and I see that your house has two great things going for it. It's been your home for decades. It holds all the memories and joys. It's also near to everything and everybody you love." I got 4 smiles on this one.

"The second thing is that you have a space outside that is wonderful. Scott, show them your vision of the outside." 

Scott began, "So Larry, you're a gardener and you have a hill on the north side covered by trees. That protects your house and the garden from the north wind. Harry, you live for that garden, don't you?" We got a real big smile and a nod from him on that one.

"The ground is not flat and that can be a mobility problem in the future. You also do not have a deck out back. The only way to get back there is down a half flight of stairs. In the future, putting in a ramp is always doable, but if we design it all in now, it will be less to do then.

"Ok. Let's talk gardening. You have a couple of beds right now. Make them raised planters with built-in sprinklers. You're running well water, so there shouldn't be a problem with access or volume. Just the right amount when and where you need it. Programming it is not that difficult.

"The idea of a deck allows you to live where you love it. My recommendation is not to use wood, but a plastic composite. No maintenance outside of yearly cleaning. A deck attached to the house would be 4 feet off the ground. Connect it to a gentle ramp of earth and paving stone and it's wheel chair or walker ready. With work from inside the house, a water spigot can be added to where to new potting and work tables could be placed. 

"The railing on the deck should be these new steel and wire railing systems. Why sit on the deck and look at the railing. Look at the garden. String the horizontals 2 inches apart to keep little great grandchildren safe." Patrizia started to protest, but she got a couple of smiles from her family and Scott and me. Then she smiled because of how her grandfather looked at her.

"The other part of the deck is to make it a place to be. Options are a part totally in the sun, and other part in the shade but screened in, and the third fully enclosed and heated and cooled as an addition to the house. You need a family room. More than likely, you'll have to move your bedroom to the first floor. You'll need more space to be with people. That's an important issue for you. Emma, you want to take them back in the house now?"

"The garage would make a good bedroom. Add large windows to the yard and the south facing sunshine. And it would also give us space to put in a new bathroom. A bath that would fit what you'll need. Large shower with a built in seat, room for possible wheel chair or walker use. Heated and cooled.

"Remember, we are trying to have everything on one floor. There are costs and tradeoffs." At this point, Scott broke in.

"Harry, you and I both know something that these others may not fully understand. We know that our world can change in an instant. We have to enjoy today, we may not be able to enjoy tomorrow. Spend what money you can to have comfort and pleasure. Make your life comfortable for now. A year in assisted living will run from $24,000 to $40,000 a year. Keeping you at home a year or two will pay for all of that, and you get to enjoy it now for years."

Harry was looking very thoughtful, along with his son. The two women were less so, but still at the same place emotionally. I reached for another glass of wine, and that's when Larry realized that we'd been there for half an hour, and hadn't eaten. He jumped up and got the food started while we all started talking about the possibilities. 

Dinner once again ended past 10 and we got back to the room. I'd put all thoughts of the DVDs out of my mind until we walked into the room. There on the table were the two movies he bought. I recognized the one title, Debbie does Dallas. Looking at the cover, it is definitely 70's. Suddenly I feel Scott wrap his arms around me from behind. 

"We didn't have much time, and the bargain bin let us get out of there for under $15. Debbie is one of those with not so great acting and a thin semi-stupid plot line but lots of sex. Par for the course. This second one here is more hard core sex. No plot, no dialogue, just hard and raunchy sex. I'll leave it up to you for the one you'd like to watch, if any, tonight." 

"Dumb question on my part, but how do you know so much about these movies? There had to be 2 to 3 hundred there." 

"These were some of the ones that were passed around the barracks. I think that I've probably watched a couple of hundred over the last couple of years. Sometimes the acting was so bad we'd just make fun of the actors and actresses and drink the evening away. So which one are you interested in seeing first? Remember, this is what you wanted to try out. It'll be fun and we can stop at any time." He reached over and opened the laptop, then plugged the power cord and placed in on the bed.




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 05



"Scott, I really don't have a clue. I'd like to put on something that you'd like too. So why don't you pick? I'm still overwhelmed from that store. I never imagined anything like that." 

"The next time we go to an adult store, I'll be sure that you'll be more prepared. This one is a chain, so I knew that it'd be ok. The seedier ones have viewing booths in the back and glory holes. Not my style, not ever been or going to be my style."

"Glory holes? Viewing booths? What are you talking about?"

"Viewing booths are coin or token operated can be locked, little dressing rooms where you can see a video of some sort. There's a range of titles, so you can in the privacy of your own little room see whatever you want to and do anything to yourself at the same time. Interested in straight sex, fine, anything, and I mean just about anything different? Usually not a problem. These guys are in business to make money. Gay, 3 ways.. Let's not talk about 3 ways," I cringed a little and Scott chuckled. I'm so glad that he has been getting past that episode in our lives. 

"The glory hole is a hole in the wall about crotch height that allows somebody to get sucked off. Totally anonymously. "

"Scott, you're kidding I hope?" He shook his head no. "Are men that horny and ..." He reached into his pocket for a coin. "Call it for the movie." 

"Heads" and I saw I called it right. "So which one lover?"

"1970's and Debbie it is." And he put it in the drive. He was right, bad acting, stupid plot line but lots of sex. Just like looking at Juan and the blond, but I didn't get to smell that sex, we made our own the rest of the evening. Never got past the first 20 minutes of the movie before we started with each other. Porn's not so bad.



Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 06



We were sitting in the living room sipping wine after finishing diner at Gene and Curt's. Curt was looking outside through a small window then back to us. "So Emma, you and Scott put together a house and garden rehab design for Harry. That design sounds interesting, very interesting. We've got the same mobility issues here, but our land is much flatter. The deck, in sun, in shade and a windowed family room sounds wonderful." 

I answered back to Curt and Gene too, "Scott here has a great knack for the garden. Did I tell you about his knack for languages too? I heard him converse in Spanish, Italian and a little bit of Polish with Mary's Aunt." 

Scott butted right back in, "And more than a little bit of the Arabic wherever we were assigned to. Different dialects in different places. Somehow, I've got this knack for languages if I'm around them enough. I'm not literate outside of commercial signs and churches."

Gene spoke up looking straight at me. "And why don't you want to buy Max Contracting? I know you've been back a week and he sprung it on you on Wednesday, but why?"

Scott and I've had this conversation daily since Max told us about it. Owning a company? Employees? Taxes? Working capital? Legal issues? "Gene, we've been exploring it but there's too many unknowns. I don't know."

"Emma, let's all look at this together." 

Oh no. When Scott came back into town a month ago with Mary, they ganged up on him and they got their way. We've been side-by-side ever since. 

"You know the business. It's been you running it for the past three years while Max has been spending more and more time with his grandchildren since his wife passed, right?" I nodded yes. "You have great working relationships with the 4 fulltime workers that have been there for the past 15 years? Several of them even called you asking that you buy it from Max. Right?" I nodded yes again. "And you've told me over the years that with the service contracts alone are more than enough to more than break even? To handle all the overhead? You're profitable when it comes to additional jobs, and those require you to hire subs?" I nodded again. Now she looked at Scott, "You just need a good foreman and a project manager for that?"

Curt chimed in now, "You're concerned about the valuation, aren't you?" 

You know that they're winning when all you are doing is listening and nodding yes. 

"Two things. One. You have at work the replacement value on the capital items? I know it's required annually for insurance purposes." 

Nodding, I'm getting tired of nodding yes. 

"That will give you a bottom figure on the negotiations. The other part is Goodwill. For us that'll be an Accounting term for all the other stuff not in the books. When our family was thinking of selling the grain elevator, we worked with a firm that had lots of small business valuation experience. It'll be worth your while to pay for an impartial evaluation. Face it, you've been doing the books all these years. Anything hidden you'd have to know about it?" 

Nodding again. "Take a step back Emma, what else is outstanding for you?"

I cleared my throat. "No business degree, no working capital, no money to buy it. Who is going to loan money to a solvent but not much more that that woman?" That's when Gene looked a more than a bit riled and started to speak, but Scott put his hand up to her to stop. He reached into his pocket and dropped on his knee. He handed me a ring, an antique ring, a plain band, but a white metal that couldn't have been silver from the weight. 

"Ms. Emma Riley, would you marry me? Would you wear my grandmother's ring as an engagement ring? Will you spend the rest of our lives together? May we marry our fortunes together?" 

He never did things half way. "Mr. Scott Jones I would love to marry you and ..." he reached over and pulled my face to his. This was right, there are no misgivings, there are no questions.

Curt went into the fridge and pulled out a bottle of real champagne. "We've been saving this for an occasion. And this is an occasion worthy of it." 

Our lives, so much was said, so much was shared. Was it a surprise? No, but it was. We celebrated for over an hour, talking about everything and what it meant to us. At a point in time, Scott and I both profusely thanked them both for all their help to Scott and me, to bring us back together. They were gracious and said you're welcome, but moved the conversation to other things.

The conversation returned to buying Max's business. "Emma, we have capital. My mortgage on the farmland will be paid off next month. Ever since I thought you were in a three way.." At that Curt coughed and sputtered. He looked at Gene in a most solemn way, "Tell them why you helped them both. It's been 53 years. They've been great friends of ours, tell them. We haven't told a soul outside of my family. This will help them to understand us, as well as themselves."

With a bit of sorrow in her eyes, she looked at Curt, but he nodded to go ahead. Then she started talking in a reserved and sorrowful voice. This was not the Gene or the Curt we were familiar with. 

"Emma, you may remember that once I told you I wasn't always an upstanding country lawyer. When I was a newly minted lawyer, I got a position at the largest law firm in the tri-county area. I was pretty proud of myself. Actually, I was pretty full of myself. We were married while I was going to Drake law school in Des Moines. Graduated, passed the bar and Curt and I bought this house. As you know, Curt's family owns the grain elevator and he was the son that got the job of running it. It didn't make us wealthy, but we were comfortable. 

To fit in at the law firm, I'd socialize after work. At first I was getting home by 6, then 7 then it was 8 or 9. Kept telling Curt it was to be part of the team. Remember, this was the early 60's, 1961 to be exact. A woman lawyer? You've both seen Mad Men on cable?" I nodded yes. That show doesn't portray a great working arrangement for young women. "I thought that I needed to do everything possible to make it in the lawyer business, to get ahead. This was a decade before woman's lib, a woman's place was still in the home and I was trying to make it as a lawyer. Women had to be better in order to even be considered for anything. I was flying high.

"I had won a couple of cases that brought me some fame and some good money to the firm. We went out to celebrate. It was work so Curt wasn't invited. I got home that night at about 2:30 and had to be at the courthouse in the next county at 8, so woke up and left before 7 that next morning.

"I came back home at about 7 that evening and saw that Curt's car wasn't there. On the kitchen table, there was a white bra and panty set with a note." That's when she looked at Curt.

"With the hours she was working, I was taking care of the house. I collected the clothes to be washed that morning and saw them. They weren't hers. Right color and size, wrong brand and worn. I remember waking up that morning and thinking something was not right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. That's when it struck me. She smelled different. I got her nightgown and smelled it. There were other people's smells on that fresh nightgown, smells that weren't hers. I knew what happened, she'd been unfaithful. Our years together at college, her years at law school, our marriage. All up in smoke in one instant.

"I called my brothers that morning and went over the details. Small town, phone calls and the picture came together. After the bar, Gene went back to the house with the law firm's owner and his wife. I heard her come in at 2:30. The bra and panties were the other wife's. They did look like Genes, the same size, but they weren't hers.

"There was an open position as an elevator manager in southern Minnesota. We knew the owner. He had recently taken ill and needed a replacement immediately. I took the job, took my clothes, took my car, left the note and didn't look back. Didn't look back for months. Told my brothers that it was over with my wife and not let her know where I was at. If I ever decided to talk with her, I'd know where to find her. They'd be keeping tabs on her. "

Gene spoke next. "I saw that note and the underwear and cried. He knew. He didn't know the details, but he knew that I stepped out of the marriage. My flying high world collapsed in an instant. He was right to leave, to leave me without a word. I was the one that fucked up, the one that disgraced him, that destroyed the marriage. I was the one full of myself. Pride goeth before the fall.

"I tried to talk with his brothers, but they gave me the cold shoulder and said that they didn't know where he was at. And don't bother coming back to ask again. I was at wits end and went into a pretty deep depression. Pain, anger at myself, recrimination. I was at the point of wanting to hurt myself. 

"In two weeks, Curt's disappearance was well known the community and the owner of the law firm and his wife and I were the talk of the town. His business suffered and I was let go. I made sure that I received a severance package to keep me going for a while. It was all in our best interests for me to be quiet and paid.

"That's when I called Debora, our sister and pleaded to speak with her privately. I said that I wouldn't ask her any questions about Curt, but I needed to speak with her. We had had a good relationship before. She agreed to meet me before church one Sunday.

"I started out telling her what a self-centered full of myself idiot I've been to waste a marriage on trying to fit in, to get ahead and a little bit of alcohol fueled pleasure. That I didn't deserve her wonderful brother that I had thrown to the side. That there was no way for me to make amends. I was pretty honest, brutally honest with her. I didn't pull any punches. We, well, it was mostly me that talked about an hour. She began to understand that my sorrow was for having destroyed a good man and having fallen so low. It was not to whine about where I was at in life now. She heard that it was not a pity party for me, it was repentance for having done bad to Curt.

"At the end of that hour, she asked what I wanted from her. I said that I needed to start counseling, I was starting to think of hurting myself, permanently. That shocked her because she knew by then that what I said was real. I had picked out 4 different counselors, all 50 to 70 miles away in different directions. That's when I said that I had no hope of ever talking to Curt again, but if it ever could happen, it could be in a therapist's office as a neutral third party. I'd like to pick the one where Curt wouldn't have to drive so far to get to. She pointed out the third one on the list, about 70 miles northwest from here. I started crying and she held me. The first human touch in a month, since that night.

"Started my own law practice that week and therapy at the same time. It was slim for quite a while, but the two cases I won before I was unfaithful helped. In the first couple of months, I got several divorce cases. Then word got out that I was pretty impartial and worked to get the couples back together. I teamed up with some of the local therapists. Sometimes I brought them clients that I'd never see again, sometimes they brought me clients that they'd never see again. I built a reputation, a good reputation this time. All the while I was seeing my therapist attempting to get my life in order.

"Curt humbled me by leaving. By doing that, he changed my life, changed my life for the better. I tried to keep that going with my clients. I'd refused cases where I didn't think that the party was doing anything but be nasty. If they weren't going to work my program, I wouldn't take them on.

"It was about 7 months after I stepped out on Curt and our marriage when Debora showed up at my office waiting room. She asked that we go into my office for privacy. We talked about my life since. Asking questions, she heard from me about what I'd learned in therapy, what I've done with sometime possible divorce cases and the number of marriages and families that I'd saved. 

That's when she confronted me in a good way with my recent behavior, where I've been and where I was going. She saw that I was trying to redo my life, to be better, to be a real person, not a soulless slut. She then asked me if I'd like to write Curt a letter. I was floored. I protested that I'd burned him so bad that I wouldn't do any good but open his wounds, but she shut me up right away. She said that I also needed to offer to him the place and times of my counseling sessions now. Then I should wait to see what happens. It took me three weeks to put it all together. The counselor and I worked on many issues for that letter. I was frightened, but I did it." She looked at Curt and nodded.

"By this time, it's been 8 months away from her and I had started a new life. Same kind of job but no one around to support me, or to support. Not much to do in these small towns, and I wasn't going to start a new relationship while I was still legally married. I sent many hours on the road going to St. Paul/Minneapolis for weekends. I wasn't going anywhere near Iowa. I was still grieving the loss of my marriage.

"Then this letter came to me inside a letter from Debora. Deb tells me that it's from Gene, that she asked Gene to write it to me. She said that Gene felt that she had totally destroyed our marriage and didn't deserve anything from me. Debora also wanted a private letter back herself on what I felt.

"It took me two days to open it. It was 3 pages long and evidently tear stained. I still ave it somewhere. Gene owned all that she had done and went beyond all she had done that night. She also told me what she was learning about herself in therapy these couple of months and apologized for much of the way she had been approaching life and me, especially me. She begged my forgiveness and said that she would file for divorce so I could start a life over again, free and clear of her.

"She ended with the name, address and dates of her counseling sessions so we could work out the details of the divorce, so I could have a new life. To say the least, I was floored. I called Deb on the phone. That phone bill ended up being $40. You have no idea of how many tanks of gas it would have been in those days. She convinced me to go to the session."

"When Curt was sitting there when I walked in, I started crying. I knew it was all over for me. I excused myself for a few minutes to get myself back together and face the music I wrote."

"Gene was thinking it was all over, but I wasn't so sure it was over. She owned what she did and changed and tried to go forward in life helping others. We ended up going to these sessions for the next 6 months before I asked her out for coffee afterward. That signaled a change for me."

"When he asked me for coffee, I realized that we really had been making some headway. During those months, I told him exactly what happened. The extended going out after work, the alcohol, the innocent to later not so innocent touching and finally the alcohol fueled three way. I told him about starting over, about trying to make a positive difference in families, of turning my life around. I was no longer chasing fame and riches. I wanted to make amends to the world for the evil I did to him. That's the right word, evil."

"It was another three months until I felt that I was healed enough to come back home, even then I chose to sleep in the den for the next 5 months after that."

"One of the first things that Curt did for me when he came back home was to take me to see his family. I was frightened, but with me present, he told them outright that I was to be brought back into the fold. He would not tolerate me being excluded, talked about behind our backs, snubbed or dismissed in any way. If anything like that happened, he would be giving whoever did it hell. He never had to admonish anyone. With some initial misgivings, I ws back within the family."

"I still was not completely sure of Gene. Unfaithfulness is so damaging. But we continued to see the therapist every two to three weeks. I saw the legal work she was doing and what people were saying about it. It helped that the other couple closed shop in town and moved to the larger county seat a town over. They were also ostracized, more so than Gene. 

"Gene rebuilt her business relationships from the couples work and the family work she was picking up. At a certain point, over a year and a half after it happened, I came back to bed unannounced. I haven't left yet." That's when he reached over and held her hand tenderly.

"You couldn't imagine the joy that that gave me. What I did to Curt was never forgotten, never to this day. But for more than 50 years, we've been a team again ever since. I got over ever trying to be the biggest and most respected lawyer in these parts, but instead I became the best wife and the best person that happens to be a lawyer I could be.

"Emma and Scott, when you had your incident that blew away your worlds, I felt for you both. It was Curt here that asked that I get involved, and I gladly did that. So does all this make much sense to you both now?"

Everything is set. I know it, it has to be. We've gone over it several times last night and once more before going to sleep. Scott's been so patient with me. Is it still 4:15 AM? AM? Why am I wide awake at 4:15 on my wedding day? I need some sleep and we have to get out of bed by 7. Stuff to do at the church, the tent and tables are already set up at Gene and Curt's. Letting us have the reception there was so sweet of them. I think that they wanted to show off what we built. We let them invite who they may. It'll be great to see their other friends. Knowing Gene and Curt, they know that this is marketing. A grand opening for Max Construction's new owners.

Why did everything have to come together at the same time? The wedding, buying Max's business, Gene and Curt's deck and backyard work in one month, the exact month before the wedding. Then there was Gina and Mark.

The deck and backyard work, Gene and Curt loved what we did so much. Talking about it to them when we got back from the west coast, they fell in love with the idea. 

Then Scott met Mark when Mark delivered supplies to the job site at Gene and Curt's. Could it have happened later, or before? Mark changed. Scott almost didn't recognize him. Lost weight, clean cut, clearness in his eyes, honesty in his voice. Scott said he saw a serenity, and a sorrow. Mark had to apologize to Gina, and needed an in. Scott and I were the in. Where have I heard that one before? 

That was three weeks ago. Wrong time for us, the right time for them. After what Gene and Curt did for us, there was no way we wouldn't do it for him, and do it right away. I even used the same lines on Gina as Gene did on me. It was so hard for Gina to talk with Mark again. It may have helped a little bit that he had paid off months ago the entire wedding that didn't happen. And that we were there, both of us. We were with them both. Then Gina heard the real Mark straight from his own mouth. Actually straight from his own soul. Why he was a loser and why he no longer was. Sexually abused by one of his mother's boyfriends at 11. He had no place to go with it, that young, that vulnerable, that so alone. Shame, fear, all the craziness over the years. Self-medicating with whatever he could find, weed, alcohol, PlayStation, sex with women wherever he could find it. Mark hit the wall after the wedding, but only got help after Scott got him into therapy after the bar. That bar was when he hit bottom.

Those two weeks in rehab and then individual sessions and some with his mother. His mother finally heard and then understood the why he was lost, why he was doing drugs all the time. It's been a year since the non-wedding, and 7 months after almost getting arrested. I've never seen Mark so clear, so honest. He attempted to make all the amends he could to Gina, a sincere apology for years of his craziness, years of treating her poorly. An apology with a single' but' in it is not an apology, and there were none in his. He then apologized to me in front of Gina for what he did. I even saw Scott tear up a little bit. Those two planned this together I bet. They are kindred souls in a way.




Love, Trust and Communication Ch. 06



Mark moved into an apartment alone several weeks ago. It feels that he has his head on straight. And that meeting happening in the weeks before our wedding, then signing the final paperwork for Max's business the next week and the wedding this week. It's our business now, it's our wedding now, it's our life from now on.

ALL THOSE MARINES? What am I going to do? I've got that frying pan for when we leave the church. Saw that funny video clip where the bride kept a frying pan in her bustle and the sword wack from the honor guard clanked when it hit her butt. I'm not going to get it like Mary and Jenny did. I can't wait to see those two again. Tim and Li too. Scott got Tim to stand up for him, and Curt will be giving me away. 

Finally going to be meeting Pete with Patrizia. Her parents will be there too. Seems that Harry has a girlfriend now. That family room and deck has opened up his social life. He offered to run the place while they all were away. He did build and run the hotel and restaurant for most of his life. 

Were the portapotties delivered? The caterer will...

Suddenly I feel a hand on my arm, gently holding me, hugging me. "If all you are going to do there is worry, at least share it with me. You may remember that I'm getting married today too." Then I felt him kiss my arm and his arm wrapped around me, spooning his body against mine. Holding me warmly and keeping me close. He knows how to make me calm. The past 7 months have been exciting, not calm, but he's been my rock. So many times I felt that I was going to crack, and he got me through it. I love this man so.

Now his arm is moving slightly, slowly caressing my fingers in his embrace. I hear "Everything will be ok, and what isn't will give us great stories to tell our grandchildren." This man is so long term, my long term, our long term.

There is no way I am going back to sleep right away, but I know what will take my mind off of things. I wiggle my ass into his crotch and I get a little moan out of it from him. I can feel that he is rising to the occasion for it. Sleeping in the nude is so wonderful, when it's not winter and the heat is not on. 

His right hand leaves my hands and holds my breast, playing with my nipple. His mouth touches my neck and I can feel his kisses and his breath. I so want to kiss him, "Let me turn around lover, I want to see your face and kiss your mouth." But his arm holds me down. I wasn't going to be moving anytime soon. He gently rolled me onto my stomach and then lay on top of my back. I knew what he was going to do next. Laying on me his cock was held between my legs. I feel it against my slit. I wonder if he's going to take my ass now or fuck me from behind. It's all good. Taking my ass is not something we do often, but I get an explosive organism from it when we do.

I decide that it's my turn, I try to roll us both over so I'm on top. He always laughs at me when I try to do this. But he lets me take the lead whenever I want to, and he is doing that now. I flip over and scoot my head to his cock, and my cunt to his face. I want to feel his mouth on my pussy this morning, he can have my ass after this. Today, I want him in every one of my holes, and I want to be in all of his. 

I'm on my knees and planting my pussy on his face while he playfuly slaps my ass. He knows what to do, he knows how to please me. And I know how to please him. We're not on a towel and I'm not going to let him make a mess when he comes. 

He starts eating me and I groan. "Oh yes, oh that's so good. You eat my pussy, keep eating this pussy of mine." Talking during our lovemaking is so natural now, and it's such a turn on for him and me too. 

Then I look up and see him in front of me, hard as a rock, twitching in the air. It's mine, all mine to play with, to suck, to kiss, to make him moan. I reach for his cock and I hear a slight moan. I start licking his cock as I cradle his balls. He likes that. 

Years ago I wasn't into sucking cock that much, but I've grown to like it with this man, only with this man. I'm pleasing the man I love while he is pleasing me. I can always get him to lick my pussy, to eat me out, even with a cream pie. We'll do anything for each other, so I will be swallowing his load now, it's a sometimes part of our love making. 

I slowly suck on him while he pleasures my pussy with his tongue and his lips. Since seeing Juan and the blond, I've loved doing 69 at least twice a week or so. I know that's it's early in our marriage and we've been warned that our frequency will drop, but every day or two since we got back together has had us making love or hot sex and sometimes it's the same thing. We'll try to keep this alive. It'll be a trick when the kids come, but we'll find a way. But now, I've got a finger twitching to play with his ass. Gripping his cock with my hand, I wipe my spit off of it. He knows what's coming, beside him coming in my mouth, and he parts his legs for me. 

We both like a bit of ass play. I remember the first time he fucked me after he put a vibrating plug in my ass. He came much quicker than normal, and I did too. Now my finger is touching his hole, and I hear a moan. Pulling my mouth off of his cock, "So you like that bit of rear door action, do you? Tell me lover, tell me."

I feel his mouth come out of my pussy. "Your finger up my ass? You want me to beg for your finger up my ass?" I'm back on his cock with my mouth and I moan a yes. "Oh yes, you know what to do you little whore, my lovely little whore. Keep your finger up my ass, you know you have me where you want me. My tongue in your cunt and.." at that I pushed in another finger and moaned on to his cock. "Suck this cock, make me come, and I want to fuck your ass after we're finished. I'm going put this cock up your ass, yes" That's when I reached over and pushed his head back between my legs again. Feeling his mouth on my pussy. I just love the way he eats me. 

Now he is putting his fingers inside of me, one in my pussy and another in my ass. I love it when he does that, stroking both my holes and his mouth on my pussy. He pleasures me so well.

Suddenly, I start to feel that feeling again, I'm going to come, I'm going to come with a cock in my mouth. I know I'll pull off at the last minute unless he is coming at the same time. But I can hear his breathing change and his cock and body getting rigid. He's sucking me harder, pumping in and out of my pussy and ass harder. He's going to make us come together. He erupts into my mouth and that puts me over the edge. I try to keep him in my mouth, but some come drips out and another shot sprays my neck and breasts. We lay there, in a 69 position and collapse onto each other for a minute. 

He pulls me around, trying to keep my come covered body on his and we hold each other in our arms. This will be the quietest part of our wedding day. When we have rested a bit, I pull his face to mine and give him a wonderful kiss. "Well lover and soon to be dear husband, ready for round two?"



Love, Trust and Communication



I have to write him a letter, I need some closure. 

"Dear Scott,

You stupid jerk. First off you think that I'm cheating on you and you go ballistic. Then you go near bankrupt to fix the damage, and then you run away so I can't even talk with you. You don't do anything half way, do you?

I thought that we had a great relationship. We were working things out when we had problems, but somehow we came to agreement. Now you are running away for 4 years, and you didn't even leave a forwarding address. Darn you, darn you to heck and back. 

The only reason that I read your letter was because Mrs. Hansen cornered me. For being such a jerk, you got real good friends. Friends that you don't even know about. 

It really hurt when you attacked me. I didn't know what I did. Thank you for telling me what was going on inside of you. Until that day, you were always a considerate man. Reading your letter again and again, you still are.

I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'm much less angry with you. Why couldn't you just have talked with me? 

I still have many of your things. They are safely stored. With you not being around, is there some place I can send them to? I know that you can't take them in the Corps. Do you have anything stored around here? If not, I will keep them safe until you can pick them up.

I've been told that the Marines basic training doesn't much time for mail for quite a while, so I don't know when you or if you will reply to this. I've been moving on since we split. I hope that you have been able too. Let me know when you receive this letter.

Emma"

I called up Mrs. Hansen, I mean Gene, to give her the letter and talk with her about it. She was happy to see me. She is a different kind of lady. She saw Max's truck get vandalized, and she calls the police and offers to defend us in court. She sees Scott faint, and she helps him, and me. 

We ended up talking for two hours. We spent about an hour on Scott and me. I still had a lot of issues about what happened, but she listened to me and helped me to figure out what I was feeling. Then we talked about what I wanted to say to Scott. 

The rest of the time was spent on us and her and anything that came to mind. I've never known a woman like her before.

When we finished, she asked that I rewrite the letter, by hand. She said that a hand written letter said more than a typed one, and much more telling than email.

I got it back to her a week later, then waited. The letter started out the same way, it just went different places by the end of it.

It was Christmas time now and I forgot all about the letter I sent to Scott. I was going out with friends and started to date again. I met a guy named Jerry and we hit it off. We were still going out in February when Valentine's Day came up. I didn't think that we were that serious but I got a rose sent to me at work that day. That really made me smile. I was going home early that day. Max closed down the shop that day early and sent us all out. His wife was not feeling well, and he also wanted to be home with her too. 

When I got back to my apartment, there was a letter waiting for me. It was from Scott. I froze when I saw it. Lots of feelings flooded me again. I had been feeling great that I got a rose, and now was it going to be a kick in the pants?

I got in and set up the hot water for tea. Then sat down and slowly opened the letter.

"Dear Emma, 

I know that it has taken me some time to answer your letter. Part of the reason for that was they did not allow much free time for mail during some of my specialized training. The other part was figuring out what I wanted to say to you.

Bottom line business first. Bob Hinckley has been storing many of my things. I will drop him a line to pick up what I left at the apartment. You should not be burdened with those things.

Thank you for answering me. It really meant a lot. We are no longer a team, we aren't partners. But you could have let me hang, and you didn't. 

I've been in a special unit, training for Embassy protection duty. We're stationed in Spain and we get called out at a moment's notice to protect US Embassy and other installations in countries in real danger. 

To be honest, 98% of my time has no danger in it. The other 2% is another matter. I've been in a couple of hot spots but no one in my unit has ever had to fire a weapon or anybody got hurt during any of our deployments so far. The first thing we do is a put out a visible show of hardened force and defense. Anybody wanting to start something sees upfront what they have to encounter. It stops most of them from wanting to mess with us. We work defensively after that, always protecting our charges and then protecting each other. Don't worry about what I do. As a team, we do a good job and I'm advancing in the ranks. 

The Marine Corps has been a good thing for me.

I want to be very clear with you right now. Some of my friends have told me that you have been going out. Good. I don't want to do anything to be a negative influence on that. We both need to move on. I just hope that whoever you meet treats you right. You deserve it.

I've been thinking about this for quite a while and I figured out that I just have to ask you directly. Whatever you say I will abide. You can say no for whatever reason and I will respect and not question your choice.

May I be your friend? Your long distance friend? It may be hard and in the end it may not be work out, but I'd like to try being friends with you again. We were friends before we became lovers and moved in together, before I became possessive.

Please understand, I don't want to get in the way of your dating and finding a new partner. If you say yes and you later find that you or your partner have a difficult time with it, I will gladly bow out without any questions. I'm thousands of miles away. I value you, I don't want to stop your future. 

My asking may have been premature, but I need to be direct with you. I am and will be honest and open with you. I value you. Please let me know how you feel about this.

The rose was a token of my friendship to you.

Scott"

It took me several days to get a letter back into the mail for him. How can somebody so far away be such a pain to me?

"Dear Scott,

Who are you and what have you done with Scott? 

The Scott I knew would never have directly asked me questions about the relationship he wanted with me. The Scott I knew would have slowly beat around the bush and waited until everyone's mood was in the proper frame of mind and he felt safe to say something. That Scott was always being fearful of a negative reply. Who are you? or rather, who are you becoming? 

The Scott I knew would never have looked at a long distance relationship as something to stop a relationship. He would have only been concerned with his own feelings, his need to be safe. His far away partner was going to have to go along with the program. This Scott understands that life does indeed go on for everybody, near and far. 

If this is the Scott that is asking me to be his friend, then I want to be a friend of that Scott. I too will be honest and open with my friend. I think that we both understand how our relationship has changed, and how we are changing. We both understand that we do enjoy a common friendship. Maybe we both were not ready for the relationship we had when it broke apart.

I'm willing to give this long distance friendship thing a try with you.

Your friend, 

Emma"

A couple of days later Gene gave me a call and asked me over for a cup of coffee on a Sunday afternoon. The weather was nasty, but the distance was close and the roads were clear. 

Once again she was waiting at the door. It may have helped that I gave her a call when I was 5 minutes away. She asked about any updates on Scott and me. She listened with a real interest, asking me what I felt.

I was starting to realize that there were 1 and a half people in my life that asked me what I thought and felt. Gene was the whole '1' close by. The other half was on the other side of the world.

After I told her about the back and forth letters, she smiled. "Emma, he seems to have calmed down a bit, hasn't he?"

"Scott really has changed, and from his letters, and from me talking with you, I realize that I'm changing too. I've been going over my relationship with him and I've started to see a couple of things. 

"One of the best things that you did for me was to hand write letters to him, like he is doing to me. I know that getting on the phone or even texting would be quicker and faster. But this way, I have to think more. And you were right, it is more personal. The only downside is that there's a week or two or three between letters."

"Emma, it isn't the speed of communication between you, it's the depth. The way you were talking about the last letters, I got the feeling that you both were more open, honest and maybe deep? than you both were before, weren't you?"

Gene's insight shocked me. The relationship that Scott and I had was short on communicating the important things in our relationship. We were great on being kind and thoughtful to one another, at least superficially. We had the proper amount of "please' and "thank you", but I've been realizing that the deeper level was lacking. That letter from Scott cut through that. He was talking about how he honestly felt and the real issues involved with 'being friends'. He also was respectful of me and how I felt. This was not the same Scott. It was also not the same Emma either.

Once again, Gene and I had a wonderful time visiting with each other. Since my own parents and grandparents passed away several years ago, I've missed that connection with an older non-judgmental person. 

The next letter that I got back from Scott was 5 pages. My reply was a little bit longer. 

While Scott and I were writing letters to each other, we were also living our lives. It was a bit difficult for me to tell him that I was seeing others. That became easier when he volunteered that there was a woman Marine on the base that caught his eye. He and a Mary spent a weekend at a beach in Portugal. Funny thing, I felt good about that, for him and for me.

Having Scott as a pen pal, as a friend, was very different. We had our history, both good and bad. Being thousands of miles apart, and not being lovers did give us some emotional distance and freedom. I was really unsure if this being friends would work. But for some reason, I think that both of us wanted it to happen. We also had 1 to 3 weeks between letters. We weren't in each others face. We didn't hang out and see each other or run into each other. Scott was in Europe or the mid-east. I was in Iowa, small town Iowa. One of the biggest things that made it work was that Scott didn't even try to direct me to do anything. He had been a bit possessive before, not unruly, but still. 

His attitude had changed since I saw him last. I knew that he was working hard at it. He would sometimes share his challenges with me. Sometimes the challenges were about me. But even then, our new relationship wasn't threatened by it. We were communicating as people and friends, not as lovers. We were respectful, not just polite. But we could occasionally ask a difficult question. We also sometimes gave the difficult answer.

As time went on, we were able to occasionally talk about our previous relationship. When things had settled down about 6 months after we started writing, I sent him a question. Why did he leave Iowa for the Marines?

"Dear Emma,

I know that it's been over a month since you sent me the last letter. You asked a hard question. I took some time to look at what I thought the answer was, but realized that it was incomplete.

First off, I had just destroyed the relationship that I had with one of the best people in the world. That woman took me as I was. I was the possessive one. Emma, I was the scared one in this relationship. I was real needy, I was frightened. I felt that I was never good enough. You did not drop that on me, I dropped it on me. After I went off the deep end with you, I wanted to run and hide. I could see the thoughts of harming myself, and that scared the shit out of me.

Somebody I knew strongly suggested that I see a counselor, and made the appointment with me immediately that day. At the first session, I felt something different. I felt hope. That made the biggest difference in my miserable life at that point. In the following months I pushed myself to look at everything I felt, what I did, what I was afraid of. Being abandoned again was probably the biggest thing in my life. Don't get me wrong, there were more things than that.

I also figured out that I had burned my bridges in Iowa. There was no future for me there. I needed to start over. I have an uncle on the west coast that was a Marine in Viet Nam. I got in contact with him and got the short of it from him. In boot camp, Marines take what you are away from you, and build a unit of interdependent men. My Uncle told me not to worry about loosing myself. He said that after I become a Marine, a new and better Scott will start up again. He knew me well enough. I was flying blind and trusted what he said completely. This newer Scott had less bullshit than before. There are still challenges, that will always be. But I got a better base to grow from. 

The last thing I needed to do was to apologize to you for what I did to you. I needed to make amends. I had not done that yet. I tried to make good on the physical damage that I did to you and Max. But I never approached you on the emotional damage. I knew I was justifiably not welcome.

I admit it, I was frightened to speak with you. My counselor suggested a letter. I was the one that chickened out, telling him to have it delivered after I left. I really couldn't bear your justified anger. I needed to start a new life. I needed a 'do over'. That is why I left Iowa and joined the Marines.

Does that answer your question?

I will tell you, I did a bit of drinking in the first 6 months in the Corps. A friend told me what I was doing and helped me to get beyond it. I'm not a tee-totaller, by any means. But I don't use alcohol (or anything else) as a crutch anymore.

I was not in a relationship with you. You became my friend. You were one of the first people that I trusted with me. I felt you were also trusting you with me. That has happened a couple of times with guy friends, but with you it is much more special. 

You've been a rock for me during that time. You came back to me as a friend. I kept clearing my head of my old demons, and you hung with me. You shared your own self with me. I felt privileged. Look at the letters, you can see me changing. I look at the letters, and I see you changing.

Your friend,

Scott"

The months continued to pass. Letters between us would be regular, then stop when he was deployed to some hot spot. Only once we spoke about doing google video or skype, or even email, but we both decided against it. 

Recently I have been seeing a young man named Ryan for a while. It's been going good, we're clicking. Well, more than just clicking. I'm slowly being swept off my feet and he is implying more that just us being regular dates. One day we walked past a jewelry story and he pulled me in, just looking at rings. This is happening to me and it's hard to tell Scott about the serious of it. 

I don't know if someone told him, or he saw something in my letters, but he was the one that brought it up. In my next letter to him, I fessed up where I was with Ryan. Scott gave me a hearty congratulations back, but I felt that seeing him in person would have told a different story. 

I went to see Gene later that weekend and I started to talk about Ryan. "I don't know what to do. I feel like Scott and I have gotten closer in the past months, but I'm with Ryan here. I'm feeling that I am betraying Scott, although we both agreed to be distant friends and have our own lives. I'm all messed up about it."

"Emma, when you and Scott first got back to talking with one another, didn't you both say that you were going to be honest with one another?" I nodded yes. "Well then you need to be honest with him. Put your feelings down on paper and send it to him. I see that you're scared - scared of hurting him, scared of not being honest with him, scared of not being honest with you. Be brave, but be honest with everybody. It's hard, but it's the only way to go. Someone may get hurt, but unfortunately that is part of life. This is not vicious. This is real life with basically good people. Sometimes that's the hardest part of being honest, not wanting to hurt them."

That weekend I started writing him a letter. I ripped it up three times, just not getting it right, not saying what I felt. It was a Saturday night that I was going to stay at home. I felt that I may have been getting a cold, but instead, decided to get out anyway.

I went down to the roadside bar by the highway. It has a live band on Saturday nights and some of my friends hang out there. The lot was full, so I had to park farther away. I got in through the back door. I was walking up to the bar when I saw Ryan. This is a bar that he or I don't normally go. He wasn't alone, and his hands were damn busy with some young woman's behind. His mouth was very busy with her mouth too. That was when he looked over and saw me standing there. He froze and I mouthed a 'good bye' and went home. 

I think that I can understand what Scott felt like when he thought I was unfaithful. I got home and started writing to Scott. It was fast and furious and the least legible writing that I have ever sent to him. I poured out my story, from start to finish. I went from the elation of the start of the relationship to the disgust of the betrayal. 

That was when Gene's words came back to me. I had dumped out what I went through, what I felt about it, but nothing about what I felt about Scott. This was more difficult writing, it was more from the heart, and it was honest.

"Scott, I felt I was betraying you by being swept off my feet by Ryan. We started off this new relationship between us being long distant friends. As friends needing to have independent lives. We are thousands of miles away from each other. We were going to be honest. Well, I am. I worry about my friend. I worry that some day I may get a message that you've been injured, or worse. I worry about you, how you are, what you're feeling, how you are coping. All I have are your letters. They are my treasures and I read and reread them.

This is how conflicted I am. When you told me you were happy for me when I wrote about getting serious with that now jerk Ryan, I really didn't believe you. I also thought that I was betraying you. When you told me about your weekend in Portugal with Mary, I was happy for you. You deserved the joy, you deserved any happiness that you can get.

A dear friend of mine told me that I needed to be honest with you, and honest with me. That is why I'm pouring everything out of me.

I really care about you. And I'm going to mail this right now before I lose my nerve.

Your friend,

Emma"

I put on my coat and put it in a mail box a 10 minute walk away. I felt that I was doing the right thing. I went home, once again packed up an ex-boyfriends things that he had moved to my apartment, and went to sleep. 

A couple of days later I got a call from Gene. She wondered if I was available for a cup of tea with her. Curt was away for a couple of days and she wanted some company. We spent a couple of hours talking about everything. She wanted to know about things were going with Ryan, and I told her. 

"Emma, have you gotten tested yet? If he's been that loose, you may have something that you don't want. Go and get tested Monday after work. I'll ask my friend at the doctor's office to give you a full range of tests. And don't give anything back to Ryan until we have the results. If he calls you, tell him that your lawyer is handling it. He'll be responsible if he damaged you. This is a tort case." When I started to protest, she just gave me that look. You never want to get that look from Gene.




Love, Trust and Communication



In the end she was right. I got a case of the 'crabs', a curable case from him. I got to hold on to his big screen TV and computer that he had just moved in. When he protested, she said that she would file, and it would be in the weekly local paper. He paid all of the medical bills at full, not the insurance discount rate before he got his toys back. That had to be very painful for him financially. The way that things get around in small towns, everybody knew sooner or later. He had a hard time getting any dates for quite a while. He ended up moving out of town to a small city.

After I sent Scott that letter about Ryan, there were a couple of weeks where there no letters back. It was in his court. The funny thing about it, I knew that he could say good bye. I would not like it, but I would be at peace with it. Gene was right. Honesty allowed me to be at peace with myself. I also knew that Scott sometimes got pulled away at a moments notice for weeks at a time. It's happened before. Then I received a short letter back.

"Dear Emma, 

We've been deployed and I have not been able to properly respond to what you said to me. There are so many good things about you and what you've said that I am a bit overwhelmed. However, I don't have any time. Right now, I don't know if it will be some politician or General showing up on site. It's all the same to us. But we are at a location now.

I have to ask you a big favor. Your lawyer, Mrs. Genevieve Hansen is in need of some help, but she is a very proud person. So proud that she won't ask anything of anyone to help. She and her husband have been having a hard time getting to the grocery store and new doctor appointments. I've asked my friends to help out, and they will. The problem is that none of them have seen her since the hearing over two years ago. Could you initiate contact with her and see if you could find a way to have her and Curt use their help? This would mean much to me.

If you can do this, use this list of my friends that agreed to help and their phone numbers and email addresses. They know that I have been conversing with you. It would not be a surprise if you contact them about my request.

Your friend,

Scott"

So this has been why I get a call to visit with Gene after I get an exchange of letters from Scott. Well, turnabout is fair play, and she is going to get hers - companionship and transportation that is. It's payback time for that little old sneaky lady. 

First things first, the Wednesday food ads, then a phone call to Gene. 

"Hello Gene, I know that it's Saturday, but the weather is cool but clear. It's been a long winter, and I was going to take a trip to the super Wal-Mart for groceries. It's a 40 mile trip, and I was wondering if you would like to go along and keep me company."

"Emma no, its..."

"I won't take no for an answer. It'll be a girls day out. I'll be there in 20 minutes. Get ready. See you soon. Bye." She never had a chance.

She was ready at the door, with her walker and the oxygen tank. There was also a smile on her face. The super Wal-Mart has a motorized wheelchair, and I reserved it from the manger directly. We do a bit of work for him and our HVAC guy goes out 24-7 at need. This is the thanks you get for saving someone's $50,000 of frozen foods on a blistering July 4th weekend.

Gene and I had a wonderful time visiting on the way out and walking and driving through the store. We were able to do a monthly stock up grocery run, as well as a weekly fresh grocery run for Gene. Between her and my stuff, we filled the car. The last things I bought were 3 bottles of merlot that I was going to smuggle into her kitchen. 

Getting back to her home, I got her into the living room and then unloaded and stocked the groceries. She was pretty tired and happily collasped on her chair. I uncorked a bottle of wine and placed it on the counter top to breath. I knew that she and Curt liked a glass occasionally and I remember her saying that they had run out. 

By the time I was half finished, she was sleeping. Curt walked into the kitchen after covering her up with a blanket. He and I had spoken a few times before. He is a charming man. He was just diagnosed with early stage Parkinson's disease, something that each of his brothers were living with. No surprises for him on that.

Curt thanked me profusely for what I had done. We chit-chatted for about 15 minutes when I casually asked him a question. "How are you going to be getting to your doctor's visits? It must be difficult as neither of you should drive anymore."

He looked at me a little bit sheepishly. "We've been thinking about moving to a bigger city, somewhere that we can get a cab. Neither Gene or I want to leave this place. It's where we have had our best and worst moments. Now, only good. I don't want to go."

"Curt, would you be open to a few people playing driver for you? You know your wife. There's a bunch of people who want to do this for you and her. With enough people, it's minor for everyone. It won't be a burden. Besides, you and Gene are delightful to be around. I think that you are going to have to give out numbers to keep the crowds down."

At that point, I reached out and held his hand. I could feel a slight tremor of the disease. He smiled and gripped my hand. "That's the best news that I've heard in a long time." 

This was the start of a new social club, the Gene and Curt club. I contacted Scott's friends and within a week, their grocery shopping and doctor visits for the next two months were covered.

That was when I needed to write to Scott about what happened.

"Dear Scott,

I am going to take it for granted that you have a relationship with Gene. I was not aware of that. I also have a relationship with Gene. Mine started when your counselor asked Gene to deliver a letter to me. She has said nothing about being in contact with you.

As we said that we were going to be honest with each other, please tell me if you were aware that she and I were conversing.

That lady and her husband is a gem. It was really my pleasure to do this for them. Everything is set for them for the next two months. I will be monitoring their needs and will keep you posted.

Your friend,

Emma"

"Dear Emma,

No, I was not aware that you were talking with her too.

I had no idea.

I only had contact with her because she was a friend of my counselor. 

That was the 'in' to allow you to read my letter to you.

I sent a thank you note to Gene for having contacted you. We just kept up a conversation after that.

Yes, I am very thankful for what you have done for her. As you said, she and Curt are gems. Neither of us have any parents or grandparents anymore, and she and Curt are filling the Grandparent roles for me. I think that is also true for you.

It is time for me to address what you said to me after you found out about Ryan. 

I have not been completely honest. I knew of Ryan from before. I could have warned you that he was untrustworthy. But I felt that it would be better if you found out your self. 

The real problem is that I also really care about you, but I don't want to direct your life. I didn't want to be the cause of your breaking up with him. I hope you understand. If I didn't feel so strong about you, then I would have been more of a man and let you know. I would have let you know even at the possible cost of our friendship. But I couldn't do it. Instead, I waited and prayed for the best. Yes, I said prayed. There are things outside of my hands. I can only do what I can do, the rest I have to accept. Your being with Ryan was one of those things I'd have to accept. 

The last two years of my life have been difficult. Funny thing, my being a possessive jerk to you so long ago actually freed me. In a short time, I started to do the right things in life. Taking care of the holes in my life, figuring out that I have to be responsible, listening to the people I care about. Telling the people I really care about them. 

You have been my anchor in all of this. First by breaking off with me, and then becoming my friend again. I don't know what the future will be. 

What I do know is that you knew I was not OK with Ryan. We didn't speak to one another about it, we only wrote letters, but you knew. Just like I knew you were having trouble with telling me about him. We started this relationship again saying that we were going to be honest. I think that we have to get back to that. What ever we say, we do know that the other is being truthful and not vicious or underhanded. We have to count on each other for that. Even if is at risk of breaking this friendship.

Your friend, 

Scott"

Our letters to each other continued at their normal uneven pace.

"Dear Scott,

I can't believe that it's been 2 and a half years since you've joined the Marines. You've told me about so many places in the world that I'll never see. I know you've told me about the dullness and boring parts. I guess sand anyplace still looks like sand anyplace. But to have seen the pyramids and Greece and Rome and Spain. It is just so beyond my world. I know that you've told me that I could enlist. Sorry, I just don't have the courage for that.

Speaking of courage, I've got a problem. Do you remember me telling you about Gina and her boyfriend Mark? Well, they are going to get married next month, but I'm not happy for her. I know that it is not my marriage, it's not my life. Mark is a deadbeat. He spends his off time smoking weed and with his play station. She thinks he'll get better after they marry. He's starting to play something else. He started to hit on me, hard. This is not playing, this is real and serious. I've seen him seriously flirt with anything in a skirt and a couple of times, I saw him grope willing young women when he didn't think he was being noticed. You know, some 18 year-olds love the attention of a 25 year old man. Scott, I know that I should tell her, but I'm afraid it will kill our friendship. She has worked so hard to get him to grow up. I can understand that she has invested years into that man, but this is no way to live.

What do you think?

Your friend, 

Emma"

Only five days later I got a reply.

"Dear Emma,

When we had the problem with Ryan, we both were afraid to say what we felt. We didn't trust each other enough. You were afraid of hurting me and I was afraid of tell you that he was untrustworthy. 

It's no different with you and Gina. I understand that you are afraid that you may lose your friendship. Look at it this way. If she becomes his wife and he runs around, are you in any better place? Living life with 'I could have' doesn't work either. 

You are between a rock and a hard place. I can't make a decision for you, but you remember what it felt like when I told you later that that man was untrustworthy. 

Trust your relationship with Gina. Like you told me, if something like that happens again and I tell you, you might get pissed as hell. Maybe forever. But if you find out I was right, it's your task to own it. Real friends will do that. 

Good luck on what you decide to do. I'm sure you will do the right thing.

Your Friend, 

Scott"

A month later, I wrote back to him.

"Dear Scott,

Thank you for being the sounding board about Gina. I did tell her, and she was so mad that she disowned me completely. It was three weeks before the wedding. She needed to get a new maid of honor. I was hurt, but I understood. You really helped me on this. Thank you once again.

But the situation did improve. The ceremony and the reception was held at the Holiday Inn Express, by the Wal-Mart and the highway. It was a couple of hours before the wedding when Gina and her soon to be mother Mary went looking for Mark. They found him. He was screwing one of the out-of-town guests in their room while the woman's husband watched. Somebody said something about it being a present for Mark, but I'm not sure about that. 

Gina was in shock, but his mother went ballistic. She ripped up all of their clothes, tossed his wallet down the toilette along with his keys. Then she grabbed Gina and one of her daughters and drove back to Gina's apartment that she shared with Mark. There were a couple of phone calls along the way and a slew of people showed up. Some of them were dressed in their wedding and reception clothes. The mother and the crew got everything out of the apartment on to the lawn that Mark owned. 

This is where you come in because you're famous for this. She did a Scott. She watered every thing he had and followed it up by having a monster truck roll over what remained. That's now called a Mother Mary. Sorry, but you've now slipped to second place. 

I hope that you can laugh about this. Scott, no one speaks about what you did in a negative way. They talk about 'doing a Scott' as being so damn hurt and mad that all hell breaks loose.

I immediately sent flowers and a card to Gina. I understood how hurt she must be. We got back together and hugged and cried. You were right, being honest was better.

When I heard what happened and what Mary did, I really began to understand on a new level how you felt. It wasn't as if I couldn't understand before, but I know so much better now. The pain is more than anyone should have. 

I've shared some of your story with Gina, nothing I hope that you would feel is damaging or embarrassing to you. I can say that it is helping her to heal. She has a long way to go. 

Your friend, 

Emma"

"Dear Emma,

At three years in the Corps I need to make a decision. Do I make this my career, or do I leave? If I sign up for more years, I get more training and advance in rank. I don't have to make a decision right away. I just have to think about it. I've generally been happy with my life here. Not everything in life is good, but its more than OK for now.

I have to think more about life and longer term.

Your friend, 

Scott"

"Dear Scott,

You have been hashing out with me your decision to stay in the Corps or leave the Corps with me for months now. I know that it's been rough on you. Like you have said, you accomplished the goals you had when you signed up 3 and a half years ago. I been hearing you say 'What about my goals now?' for awhile. 

What we have not spoken about is us. 

Twice in these years, we talked about being honest, even if it would mean that the relationship was at serious risk. This is one of those times for me. You have to do what you want to do, and I will accept it. We can continue our relationship as we have done, you can choose to end it or we can try something else. I won't argue with you or question you about it. 

I want you to come back home and try again with you.

If it works out, that would be great and wonderful. We may have also changed to the point where it will not work out. I don't know the answer. I know that I have had a wonderful thing with you these past several years. I'd like to see if it can continue.

Your Emma"

I didn't get a letter back, and it's been weeks, then months. Scott never spoke about being involved with someone else, but he could have been. He could also be deployed. I talked it over with Gene. Months ago we had discussed this three-way relationship between us. Boy, I hate that term. She said that she never broke a confidence, and never would. Being a lawyer gave her a bit of practice on that. Scott and I were both OK on that. We trusted her.

Physically, things were not going well for Gene and Curt. His disease was progressing. For safety, he needed to use a walker in the home or a motorized scooter for longer distances. The problem was getting to the cars. He needed a ramp. She called Max, then Max and I looked at what could be done. 

Gene and Curt had an attached two car garage with a door directly from the kitchen to the garage. However, the garage floor was over two feet lower then the kitchen. The easiest thing to do would be to put in a wider door from the kitchen and a winding ramp in the garage. The ramp, Gene and Curt, and the motorized scooter would all be protected from the weather. That solved safety and comfort issues. The other garage space would need to be emptied. Right now, it was occupied by Scott's things.

In the past year, Bob Hinckley who was part of the Gene and Curt club of drivers had gotten married. Bob has been storing many of Scott's things. A baby was now expected and Bob needed the space. With Curt's and Scott's blessing, Gene allowed him to store those things in the unused garage parking space. Unfortunately, that space was now needed for the ramp and the other space for loading into vehicles. 

I wanted these changes for Gene and Curt. I have a spare bedroom that I could clear out and stash his stuff. I did not want to make any assumptions about Scott. I met with Gene and showed her about the several plans that we came up with. She agreed that the garage plan was the best. That was when I said I would store Scott's things, even if I didn't know if he would ever come back. Gene gave me a pained look, but agreed. I hardened myself, she must have slipped up. I tried to not let it show and went on with all the plans to take care of everything.

We were able to finish all the work in 4 days. They both loved it, it was a great workable mobility solution for them both. It also made loading groceries into the kitchen easier.

It was Wednesday night and we were going out to a bar to celebrate Gina's birthday. She still has been having a rough time since her near wedding to Mark.

I was feeling a bit down from what Gene slipped out, but knew that was life. It's been a real roller coaster ride with Scott these past years. Maybe staying away, maybe staying at arms length... maybe... maybe that was all wrong. I know that I've always loved him. Even when he was a possessive pain in the ass, even after I got over being mad at him when we started to communicate with each other again. Even when he told me about his girlfriends, or I talked about my boyfriends. I know that I've really cared about him. These last years allowed each other to get to know each other, without acting on our hormones. He was a good lover, considerate and fun. I was safe with him. He's a great person. Some woman is going to be a lucky wife one day.

Well, my life has to go on, again, again without Scott. Gina's birthday party at the bar tonight is right after work. I need to be with her. When I got there, Gina was laughing and having a good time with our girlfriends. She hasn't been that happy for a while. The bar owner John turned on the karaoke machine and we egged each other on to sing. We all took a turn. It got easier after two drinks. The owner has an old VW mini bus that he takes people home with if they drink more than they should. His bar is pretty popular that way.

My girlfriends pushed me out and I had to sing. The bar owner John is more than a couple of years older than us. I think that he's an old hippy. He's a big fan of Janis Joplin and picked up every song for karaoke of hers that she sang. Tonight, I needed to sing a special one.

I took the microphone and got into the feeling of that song. It's one of her very quiet soft ones, full of feeling. I didn't need to read the words because I knew them by heart. Singing these blues with my eyes closed.

"A woman left lonely, 

will soon grow tired of waitin' 

she'll do crazy things, yeah, on lonely occasions."