6 comments/ 29865 views/ 3 favorites Library Privileges By: thornapple Philip Johnson Prologue They considered themselves a very typical middle classed couple, both working and enjoying life. Ross and Lois were both in their thirties so they were still young and full of life. It was just coming into the dead of winter so they had a long cold season ahead of them and they both hated the thought. The winter seemed to bother Lois a lot more than it did Ross. She didn't exactly fit the mold of seasonal affective disorder, but she had to work at keeping her spirits up, and it wasn't just the absence of sunshine. It was the snow and slush and the discomfort of being cold so often, and feeling fearful every time she had to drive in snow, sleet, or any form of precipitation for that matter. She felt somewhat confined, because she would often decline an invitation for cards or dinner because couldn't bring herself to deal with the realities of winter. Then she met a couple of women and they invited her to join their little volunteer club. What made it easy for Lois was, she never had to drive. One of the club members lived a few blocks away and was quite happy and eager to provide the transportation. Lois seemed happier and that made Ross happier as a result. Chapter One Ross was in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner when Alma arrived early to pick up Lois for their club meeting. Lois invited her in and Ross said, "Hi Alma, coffee?" "Thank you Ross, I'd like that. I don't know how I managed to read the clock wrong and arrive this early." "Glad to see you, how are the roads?" "Oh, they're fine as long as nobody tries to go too fast." "I sure appreciate you always picking up Lois. That way I don't have to worry about her." "Oh, think nothing of it, I'm glad to do it. That gives Lois and me a chance to gab before the meeting or whatever." Lois heard the last part of the conversation as she entered the kitchen and said, "The only bad part of all of this is Ross ends up doing the housework and I hate that." Alma laughed and said, "I'd love it if Ben would do the housework. Instead I have to hire a housekeeper." Ross hung up the towel and joining them at the table said, "I'll bet it's no picnic trying to find somebody trustworthy and reliable though." "You're right there. I went through three of them before I got lucky. I only need her once a week and so far it's wonderful. I don't have to listen to Ben whine, and I don't have to do a thing around the house unless I want to. Plus, if I work an hour or two overtime, that covers her salary. I just wish I would have done that a long time ago." Lois said, "Ross never complains. He encourages me to get out as often as I want to, so I don't do as much as I should. He loves to write and be on his computer, and he works so many hours that housework really gets in the way of what free time he could have." "Sounds to me like you two need a housekeeper too." Ross was quick to say, "No thanks, I don't want to go through hiring and firing a half a dozen times just to find one halfway responsible adult to clean our house." With that said, Alma and Lois left and Ross did the last of his chores and went to his office. He sat there and surveyed his little domain. He did like his office. He loved to write short stories, and he would write everything from some small historical piece to erotica, porn, romance, and an occasional mystery. He just loved to create. To him, it was a lot like working in clay. He liked to see what he could do, and if he didn't like it he just hit the delete key and moved on. In clay, if you don't like what you're doing you squash it and start over with the same ball of clay. Right then he had a mystery started that he was struggling with, and one erotic story that wasn't going much better for him. He liked both plots however, so he wasn't giving up on either of them. He continued to sit there and look around his room. Along the far wall were shelves that were what he called his library. On those shelves were books that he had read and especially liked, both paperback and hardbound. Then there was his collection of things he had written that he wanted to save. They represented about ten years of writing and saving, and he would always print them and keep them straight with report binders and plastic covers. He could pick up any one of his stories and read a few pages and be able to remember the rest of the story. To him, they were nearly priceless. Lois would usually read what he wrote and he had a few friends that seemed to appreciate his efforts in that area. When Lois got home that evening she said, "Ross, I talked to Alma some more about a housekeeper. Why don't we try that for awhile?" "No thank you. I know you're thinking of me, but it just isn't worth the grief, let alone the expense." She let it drop but she didn't forget about it. When she got home from work the next day she told Ross, "I met the nicest young woman today. She works in our records section and she's so pleasant to talk to. I said young, but I'd guess in her mid to late twenties or so." There wasn't much Ross could say to that so he just looked at her and listened. "She didn't tell me, but I learned that she went through a pretty painful divorce not long ago and she ended up almost broke. One day she had a husband and their two incomes weren't bad at all, and then she learned that he had skipped town with most of their money. No warning at all." "I'll never understand how anybody could do that to another person." "I wish we could do something to help her, but our little volunteer club just doesn't have what she needs right now and that's money." "You're not hinting that we give her money are you?" "No of course not, I was just telling you about her." "I do feel sorry for her assuming her problems weren't of her own making." Lois didn't know anything more about the woman so that subject died. Chapter Two Ross was finally breaking out of his writing slump and had added a couple of chapters to his mystery, and by making some changes to his erotic story he was able to get that moving again. But then house chores interfered, so he had to see to those before he could immerse himself in his little world once again. At least with Lois volunteering and going to the club meetings with Alma, he didn't worry that he was neglecting her. He thought the issue housekeeper issue was dead, but then Lois came home from work and said, "I had lunch with that young woman I was telling you about." "You refer to her as a young woman, but she's probably not much more that five years younger than we are." "Well, I know but... anyway her name is Patty Emerson and we had the nicest chat." "What about?" "Oh a little bit of everything. She's very personable and quite smart. She loves to read and watch old movies on television. I told her you enjoy writing and she wanted to know all about you." "I hope you didn't make a big deal of my writing honey, because that's just for my own pleasure." "Oh, I know that, and that's what I told her. She still wanted to know what you write and so forth." "Did you tell her I write porn?" "Well no, I told her you write erotica and mysteries." "Well, that's true as far as it goes." "I want to hire her as our housekeeper." Well, there it was. "Honey, we talked about that. She'll last about a month, and then she'll never return, or will show up whenever she feels like it." "I think she'll be great. We could pay her cash so we don't have to worry about keeping financial records for her." "And you trust her to keep her mouth shut about that cash income that should be taxed?" "Of course." "I'll make you a deal. I'll go along with this if you'll hire her, pay her, and fire her, when she doesn't work out. I'll help her learn what is expected of her, but that's all." "And be nice to her." "Yes, and be nice to her. "The only thing is she might have to do it like on the weekend or evenings or something because she works full time." "That's fine with me; I don't care what day of the week she would work. By the way, just what would you have her do?" "Oh, you know, sweep and mop, clean the bathrooms, dust, and the laundry, and whatever she might see that needs to be done." "That would mean I'd have no housework to do at all." "That's the whole point of it right?" "You do realize this is going to be very expensive." "I know, but if it works out it, will be worth it. If we find out later that we can't afford to keep her, then okay, and we'll go back to how it was before." "You've had this in mind ever since you met her haven't you." "No...well not exactly. It did occur to me when I met her though." "So is it safe to assume you've already offered her the job?" "Of course not. I did mention there was a possibility though. I told her I had to talk to you first." "And when do I meet this so called young lady?" "Tomorrow night." "Okay, tomorrow night it is then. But remember this is your baby and I'm just her trainer." "I remember. It's important that you like her though, because you'll see a lot more of her than I will." "I guess that's true. Okay I admit I like the idea of no housework, but I'm afraid to get my hopes up." "I understand, but try to think positive because I just have a good feeling about her. It's even better that she'll work when we're here, because you won't have to worry about somebody else having a key to our house." "That is a good point. Okay honey, you have me convinced." Tuesday evening Ross was a few minutes late getting home from work, and when he went in Lois was at the kitchen table talking to a young woman that he assumed would be Patty. He put on his best smile and joined them as Lois said, "Ross, this is Patty the woman I was telling you about." "Nice to meet you Patty." "Nice to meet you too Ross, would you like some coffee?" He stopped in his tracks and tried to hide his smile from Lois. He had to admit she was getting off to a very good start. "Yes, thank you Patty." He sat down across from her and just listened for a minute before Lois said, "Honey, I told her what we could pay her and what her duties would be, and I told her that you would be the one to help her get through the first few times. Can you think of anything I'm missing?" "Just that I'll be here almost all the time when she's here." "Oh yes, I forgot I told her that part too. I told her she should just call you by your first name too." Patty hit him with her blinding smile and said, "Ross, if I get in your way as I clean just boot me out or whatever, I'll learn fast then." His smile jumped onto his face even as he tried to tell himself this was all too easy and pleasant. There had to be a major downside to this grand experiment. "Patty, when did you think you might want to start?" "I'm good with tomorrow about five thirty or six if that's okay with you." "That's fine with me." Lois just sat there innocently smiling at him. And so began Patty's weekly visit to clean their house and do the laundry. It was always at least nine o'clock before the last load would come out of the dryer and she could leave. Then one evening Ross found her sitting and reading and he told her, "Patty, if you want to leave I can take care of that lost load of laundry. There's no point in you having to wait for it." "Thank you Ross, but I don't mind at all. I'll just go back to my apartment and read there, and this chair is more comfortable than mine is." He couldn't look at her and not smile, and if she smiled at him, which she did a lot, he would almost stare at her. He did his best not to ask her but it just came out anyway. "Patty, why do you always wear shorts? I mean it's the middle of winter." She just smiled at him yet again. "Because it isn't winter indoors and that's where I'm working. I get too warm if I do housework in long pants. That's why I wear sweatpants over here and then strip them off before I start working. Does it bother you that I do my chores in shorts?" "Oh no...no, not at all, I was just curious. Um...Patty, are you getting along okay...I mean cleaning our house and all?" "Yes of course I am. It's easy work, and you and Lois are so nice to me and the money is really helping me. Am I doing a good job for you?" "I can't think of a single complaint. It seems so natural when you're there I don't even think about it anymore, it's just, well, like you're part of the family." "Thank you, that means a lot to me. Ross, I like talking to you." "I have to confess I wasn't too keen on having a housekeeper at first." Bang, there was that smile again. "I know, Lois told me. I'm glad you've changed your mind." "It was nothing against you, it's just that I was afraid we'd end up with more problems than we were curing by hiring somebody." "Oh, you don't have to explain, I really do understand. When I started working for you, I pretended this was my house, so I've always tried to clean it and take care of it as though it really was mine." She was turning him into a puddle. She was just too good to be true. "Well, unless we suddenly go bankrupt or something ,you'll always have a place with us as long as you want it." She stood up and gave him a hug and said as his arms went around her automatically, "Thank you Ross." Then she stepped back and gave him a sheepish smile and said, "Oops, I'm sorry, I got carried away." Ross almost stuttered when he said, "That's...that's okay. He smiled and walked away as his arms remembered how she felt. Chapter Three It was a Saturday a couple of weeks later, and Ross and Lois were having after breakfast coffee at the kitchen table. "Are you and Patty getting along okay Ross?" "We're getting along great. Has she complained about me?" "No, of course not, I was just curious. You haven't mentioned her for some time." "Nothing to say about her I guess. She does a great job with the house cleaning and laundry, she's pleasant to be around, and...well, I even told her one time that she almost felt like family now. I forget she's even here sometimes." Lois laughed and said, "Well, don't get so comfortable that you wander out in your underwear like you used to." Ross smiled and said, "No, that wouldn't be a good thing would it." "I don't know who would be more surprised, her or you." "I don't know either." "Are you getting more writing done now?" "Some, but more importantly, I think I'm doing a better job now because I'm not trying to rush to accomplish something." "Patty asked me about your writing the other day and I suggested she just ask you about it. I think she's not sure it would be proper for her to ask you." "That's silly; of course she can ask me. My God, I asked her why she always wears shorts when she's here." Lois smiled and said, "So you do look at her legs do you?" He smiled back at her and said, "Oops, you caught me. She said she always gets too warm when she cleans in long pants." "She probably doesn't even wear shorts when she cleans her apartment then, I mean, why would she if she gets that warm?" "Oh great, now you'll have me thinking about that." Lois just laughed and let it go. The next Monday, Ross was rummaging through his stack of manuscripts and short stories when he realized his nice and tidy alphabetized stack was a little out of order. He stopped and thought about that and put it right, found what he was looking for and went back to his desk. Rather than go back to what he was doing he looked over at his library again. He had kept his things in the same order for ten plus years, even before they moved into their present house, and Lois never bothered his library. Was Patty reading his stories? His first thought was he didn't even care if she was. But then, should she do that without asking him? He found Lois in their bedroom and he told her of his suspicions and added, "I don't know it that's a problem or not, the only thing I wonder is if she's into anything else without permission." "So nothing is missing or broken?" "Well, I didn't do an inventory, so one or two of my stories could be missing but I don't know it." "Does this upset you Ross?" "I can't decide. Maybe I'm just overreacting. I mean I know she's in there because she keeps everything dusted and neat. What do you think we should do?" "Do you want me to talk to her?" "Maybe that would be best. There's no point in getting her upset unless you get the feeling there is more to the story." "I'll be sure to catch her tomorrow night before I leave and we'll have a girl to girl talk." "Let her know that I'm not mad at her okay?' "You worry more about her than if she really was family." Ross didn't know what to say to that so he just let it go. Tuesday night Ross stayed in his office so Lois and Patty could talk without worrying about him listening. Then Lois poked her head into his office and said, "I'm leaving honey and I'll be home by ten or ten thirty." "Okay, enjoy yourself." Ross waited just a little bit and then went out on the pretense of making coffee. He waited as the Keurig made the coffee and then wandered into the living room. She must have been in the laundry, so he just sat down on the couch and picked up the Newsweek and flipped through the pages. It wasn't long before he could see Patty out of the corner of his eye standing not far from him. "Ross, could we talk?" He put his magazine down and said, "Of course, join me I have all evening." She sat down next to him and paused for just a second before saying, "I guess I did something I shouldn't have." "Are you talking about my stories?" "Yes. I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds." Ross was melting like cheap ice cream as he looked at her. He took her hand in his and looking at her said, "Patty, when you get right down to it, you didn't do anything wrong. I don't mind you reading things from my little library. I'm not even sure why I told Lois about it now. I'm a little anal about keeping them in a certain order and when I found a couple out of place, it threw me. I mean how trivial can I get. If you're apologizing for reading my stories I accept and I'm apologizing to you for overreacting. Feel free to read whatever is there... no wait, let me warn you about something." "You write dirty stories, I already now that." He had looked down at their hands but when she said that he almost jumped as he looked back into her eyes again. There was that smile and her eyes were almost squinting as she enjoyed his reaction. His smile started at one corner of his mouth and grew to cover his face. "Patty, don't tell me you've read some of them. A few of them get pretty raw." "So I found out. But then, Lois warned me earlier, but she was a little too late. "I hope you weren't offended." "I'll admit to being surprised, and one of them I put back without finishing." "How many of my stories have you read?" "I don't know, maybe a dozen." "And you came back for more?" "Yes, why wouldn't I?" Ross wasn't even aware that he was still holding her hand. He was too busy swimming in her eyes and basking in her smile. "I write those for pleasure and my own enjoyment. I like it when somebody else enjoys them, but I don't kid myself, I'm an amateur at best. I guess the fact that you keep coming back for more knocks me off balance a little bit." "After reading a couple of your stories, I'd say you are off balance by more than a little bit, but I still like to read what you write." "You know, Lois said earlier that I worry about you more than if you were family and I guess she was right. I do catch myself worrying about you." Her smiled softened as she dove toward his heart saying, "I like knowing you worry about me." Ross caught himself just before he fell from the precipice, and with a voice stronger than he intended, he said, "Help yourself to any of my books, but travel at your own risk, because they aren't sorted by genre, just alphabetical." Library Privileges "Yes, so I've discovered." "Patty, do you read a lot?" "I do. I read fairly fast so unless I make myself slow down I can go through a book in a day easily. When I read what you write I slow down." "Why?" "I'm sot sure. It's like, I want to feel the words on my tongue and taste what you are saying." As sure as her smile could melt his heart her words scrambled his good judgment. He put her hand to his lips and kissed it and simply said, "Thank you. I'm glad you like to read my stories." He paused then before saying, "Patty ...um..., how can I ask this without embarrassing myself or you?" She smiled and said, "Just say it and we'll see where it takes us." He studied her hand as he held it and tried in vain to control his thoughts. I know you work full time and I know that you spend an evening here a week, so I know that you're pretty busy. I...what I'm trying to say is, I take it you don't have a significant other." "That's right." Her smile was slowly returning and that emboldened him. "Doesn't...I mean..., when you read some of my stories don't they..." Her smile softened again and she asked, "Are you trying to ask me if some of your stories excite me?" He let out his breath and said, "Yes." "As a matter of fact some of them do, and a couple of them a whole lot. Ross, would it help if I told you a little about my... about me?" "If you're willing, I'd very much like to know more about you." She leaned back then, but their hands stayed joined and her shoulder ended up against his side. "I got married when I was just turning twenty. I dropped out of college because I was in love and all I wanted to do was be a good wife. For a few years we had a good marriage. Then one day..., I better back up and tell you the rest. I just hope I don't make you too uncomfortable. Pete and I had a very active sex life. I'll spare you the details, but...I mean, really active. Anyway, one day I came home from work and found a note from him saying he had left me. Just like that and he was gone. No warning, no reason, nothing. To this day, I have no idea why he left, but he left me pretty damn poor too. I've been on a multi year man hating marathon ever since that day. I think I'm getting my life back together again, so I guess my man hating days are ending. Otherwise, your stories wouldn't affect me like they do. I can be more graphic if that's what you want, but that pretty much sums up my story." "Patty, I don't know what to say and I don't know what I expected, but if I had all the time in the world I wouldn't have come up with that story. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. You are a wonderful and very attractive woman, full of life, and I have no doubt full of love, to share with the right person and at the right time. I wish I could do something to erase all of your bad memories." "Thank you, but I'm doing okay now. Perhaps having those bad memories help me to appreciate better times that become good memories. Times like right now." She caught herself and quickly sat up straight and retrieved her hand. As she tried to get her motions under control she took a deep breath and said, "So in summary, I can read any of your stories." He didn't move but tried to act casual and said, "You can read anything you want as long as you are gentle with your criticism s and generous with your praise. She softened again slightly, kissed his hand and then got up. "I'll do my best boss, but if I don't get to the laundry, I'll be here until midnight." Chapter Four Lois was home by ten and she asked Ross, "So is everything okay between you and Patty?" "Everything is fine. I realized I was being a jerk, so after she apologized to me, I apologized to her for acting as I did." "You are such a softie. She could steal your car and you would forgive her." He just smiled and said, "Maybe so." "Well, I'm glad you two kissed and made up." "We made up, but we skipped the kiss part." "Oh, I wanted to ask you if you would mind if I ran way for a weekend." "No, of course not, where to?" "We're talking about making some changes in our club and modeling ourselves after a cancer support group in Lansing. We've been invited to their Saturday meeting, and then spend the rest of the weekend over there." "You're really getting into this club thing, when is this event?" "A week from Saturday. Oh, and I have to go to Grand Rapids Monday for our annual training session and systems upgrade training." "Until Friday like the last time?" "I'm afraid so." "You have some busy times ahead it seems. Off to Grand Rapids Monday, home Friday night, and then off again to Lansing Saturday." "Yes, and all of that will help keep my mind off of winter. You can sit around in your underwear as much as you want." "Except Tuesday." Lois laughed and said, "Yes, except Tuesday night." "I can't say I'm overjoyed that I won't see you for a week." "I know and I'm sorry those two things came up at the same time." "Okay." What else could he say? The next few days were pretty routine for Ross and Lois. She was on the phone a lot making reservations for her trip to Lansing with Alma, and lining up entertainment for them for the evenings, and then talking with the other club members. It was an exciting time for their small group. Then at the end of the week, she was packing for most of a week in Grand Rapids. In the meantime Ross was making plans to finish at least one of his short stories that he had been working on for months. He was also planning on spending as much time as he could in his underwear just like he used to. Why he ever got away from that habit, he wasn't sure but now he felt funny doing that when Lois was around. The fact that he felt funny in his underwear around his own wife bothered him. How and when did that all come about? They still loved each other and they seemed to enjoy being together. All he could do was shrug it off and think about happier subjects like his stories. Monday morning Ross saw Alma and Lois off to Grand Rapids, and then he went to work as usual. Monday evening was his first evening of lounging in his skivvies and writing as he ate dinner in his office. All of that reminded him of his bachelor days. He never wanted to go back to being a bachelor again, but it was fun remembering some of the good times he had back there. With the good times thing still his mind, he stopped and remembered Patty's reference to good times and her comment about like she was having with him right then. He could close his eyes and see her sitting there and he realized just how close he came to making a grievous error by kissing her. He knew that she had experienced some control problems as well, but at least both of them were aware of it and did what they had to do to behave themselves. A comfortable sofa, a pretty woman, and throw in a little talk of her very active sex life and he was in over his head very quickly. He had been home an hour on Tuesday evening when Patty arrived and came in saying, "Wow, is it getting nasty out there." "It was starting when I came in." He glanced out through the window and said, "Oh shit, freezing rain now. It was just snowing when I came in." "They're calling for some really nasty stuff I guess." "Then you're crazy, you should have stayed home." "I only live about a mile and a half from here." "You can wreck your car at the end of the driveway with freezing rain." "Yeah I know, I'm sort of parked with my front wheels in your yard in fact. Ross just smiled and shook his head. "Had dinner yet?" "Sort of yes and sort of no." "What kind of answer was that?" "I grabbed a sandwich on my way out because I wanted to get here before it got too bad." "What about getting home?" "If it gets too bad to drive, I can walk home." "Patty, if it's too bad to drive, you'll break your ass trying to walk home." She just smiled at him. He was worrying about her again and she liked that. "Why don't you join me for dinner then?" She just smiled and said, "Thank you, I accept." "It will be about fifteen minutes." "I'll start a load of laundry and be back to set the table then." She went about her tasks and he dished up the food as she set the table. Then she watched as he pulled out two wine glasses and a bottle of red table wine and pulled the cork. He noticed her looking at him so he said, "I wanted to have a glass of wine so you might as well have some so I don't pour half of it down the drain. You do like wine I hope." "As it so happens I do like wine, or at least some of it." "Well, if you don't like this one, just dump it and you won't hurt my feelings." The wine must have tasted good to her because she had a second glass right along with him. Dinner was over and they were lingering over the last of the wine when Lois called. "Ross, I just heard about your weather, you okay?" "Yes, we're fine. Warm and dry, why?" "They're talking about tree limbs down and a lot of people without power. You said we, Patty didn't come did she?" "Yes she did, as a matter of fact." "Don't let her go home, God, I can't believe she tried that." "It got worse after she got here I'm afraid." "Well, keep her there and tell her to use the guest room. She can borrow one of my nighties and a robe." Ross could feel his pulse jumping in his neck as he sat there looking at Patty sip her wine and smile at him. "Lois, I haven't heard the weather. Do you really thing it's that bad?" I just talked to Elizabeth and she's no more than five miles or so from our house and she says it's really awful." "Okay, I'll do as you suggest." At least that way she would know it wasn't his idea if life came crashing down on them later. "I hope you don't lose power." "That reminds me I better find the flashlights and candles." "I'll hang up so you can go do that...bye." Ross hung up the phone, tipped his glass back and then said, "It looks like you're going to be my guest tonight." "What?" He explained about the trees and limbs down, power outages and predictions for worsening conditions and then said, "Lois said to use one of her nighties and a robe, and whatever else you need and put you up in the guest room." "Oh Ross, don't you think that's overreacting just a little?" "I'm only going by what I'm told, but I have to say you'd be well beyond crazy to try to get home. You'll just end up being one of the crazy casualties they talk about on the eleven o'clock news." "I'm sorry to put you out like this." "You're not putting me out at all. In fact, I like the idea." She studied him almost nervously and asked him, "Why?" "You said yourself that reading in that easy chair is very comfortable, we have a large supply of reading material and I like you very much and enjoy your company." She smiled and admitted, "I like yours too." "If the power goes out and we can't read, we'll just sit on the couch and tell each other stories." Chapter Five When Patty had set the table, she had put out two glasses of ice water that neither of them had touched. As they cleared the table together she gathered the dishes, but put those glasses aside and waited for just the right moment. Ross provided what she was waiting for when he leaned over the sink to reach for a stray cup. She tipped one of those glasses of ice water over his back as his shirt was stretched against his skin. He straightened up quickly and looked at her in disbelief as she backed away from him with a guilty smile. "Oh Patty, you will pay for that." He moved around so she was backing away from him but toward the corner and he picked up the other glass of ice water and advanced on her. She was almost laughing as her hands came up and she said, "No, please...I'm sorry Ross, I'm sorry," but her smile was telling him a different story. He couldn't help but smile back and soon had her trapped, and put his right arm around her and pulled her close as she looked up at him. "Now you will pay the penalty." As he brought the glass nearer to her, he bent down and kissed her. She was only giving token resistance as the kiss continued and then the water started to cascade down her front. She started to scream into his mouth, but it soon melted into a moan as her arms went around him and he pulled her into him and their emotions boiled over. Ross had her encased in his arms now and the kiss continued uninterrupted and his tongue probed deeply into her mouth. The kiss lasted a minute or an evening. Time was of no importance to either of them. He barely managed to put the glass on the counter so is left hand could go to her back and hold her even more tightly against him. Passion was in the air and if they didn't stop what they were doing very soon, it was going to be too late. In fact, it may have already been too late for them. Patty suddenly pushed against him just enough that she could look up at him as she tried to catch her breath and get her eyes to focus on her almost lover. She couldn't talk or even connect words in her mind right then. Ross was doing no better and kept both of his arms around her and felt her warmth of her back on his hands. Patty finally manage to connect two words and in a panting whisper said, "Oh Ross," and with her hands on his chest she could feel it move in and out with his rapid breathing as his body prepared itself for making love to her. It was like they wanted to see if they were under control or if they were just tempting fate just one more time. Their lips came together in only a slightly less intense kiss that enveloped them once again. Their hands explored each other's back and sides, but their lips and tongues were dedicated to their mission. When at last Patty could speak she whispered, "What have we just done?" "Patty, I don't know beyond the fact that you have just given me two of the most intense and wonderful kisses I have ever experienced." They couldn't stop looking into each other's eyes. Their hands continued the slow motion caresses and they held each other close and soaked in the warmth between their bodies. "Ross I think we better take a deep breath and think about what we just did." "I'll take that deep breath and I can guarantee you I will think about what we just did for a long time to come." "I'm sorry Ross." "For letting me kiss you?" "For starting it." "Patty you didn't start it. I started it weeks ago. At least in my mind I did and I know I flirted with you. I started it not long ago when we sat next to each other on the couch and talked as I held your hand and kissed it. I add to it every time I stare at your pretty legs. If you started it you must have done so right after you came to the house the first time." They were still standing close to each other, but her hands had moved out to rest on his forearms as his hands rested on her hips. "We both know I was flirting with you too, Ross. I tried to behave, and when that didn't work, I tried to at least be discreet. Then tonight, I even failed at that when I poured water on you. I knew you would come after me." "And I was just looking for an excuse to take you in my arms. Had that excuse not presented itself, I would have taken you in my arms anyway." "What are we going to do now?" "I know what I want us to do now." "But we can't. You must know that I want to but we can't." "I'm trying to convince myself of that as we stand here. I want to scoop you up in my arms and carry you to bed. I want to undress you and taste you. I want to watch your breasts rise up to meet my hands as I tease you. I want to take your clothes off and feel your nakedness press against me." She pressed a finger against his lips and said, "Shhh," Ross, please, you're driving me crazy. Don't you know I've lain in bed and imagined all of those things and more?" Ross didn't want to let her go. He didn't want to accept the fact that they couldn't make love. But his hands finally slipped from her hips and he kissed her lightly. "Patty, I want you to know that what I feel for you isn't just about sex. I also just like to be near you, to look at you, and talk to you." She kissed him once more and stepped farther away. "Ross honey, I have to keep some distance between us. Why don't you go to your office and write, and I'll read a book." "I'll try, but my mind won't be on it." "Write about us. Put us in a story." She watched him retreat to his office and she wandered around before going to the laundry room and moving the load to the dryer. She just didn't care enough to start another load. She could do that later or in the morning or whatever. She had to bury herself in a book and escape for just a little bit. Her escape lasted all of about half an hour before she moved to his office and sat down. He looked at her and smiled and as she smiled back she said, "I had to keep a distance between us, but that was too much." Ross stayed at his computer, but every time she looked over at him he was sitting there staring at the monitor. She finally went over to him and kissed him before saying, "You haven't done anything, but sit there so you might as well sit someplace more comfortable." "I'm okay." "Can I get you anything?" "I don't think so, can I get you something?" "A kiss." He smiled and went over to her immediately and they shared a long and tender kiss. "Ross, no matter what happens in the future, I will never forget tonight and I will never look at life the same way again." He knelt close to her and looked at her as he said, "I feel the same way. No, I already know that my future is going to be different now. I know some changes must be made in the way I live now." "Just be careful, honey. Make sure that your decisions are good solid ones and you have considered the possible outcomes." I know. I'm not going to do something crazy I promise." Ross resumed his post in front of his monitor and even typed a few lines but he didn't get much done and Patty didn't get much reading done. They managed to while away the time until she finally said, "Ross would you get me something to sleep in?" "Of course, and a robe?" "I don't need a robe, but thanks." Ross soon reappeared with three choices and she selected the lightest weight one. Ross looked a her and said, "I'm willing to bet that were you home you would be sleeping in the nude." She smiled and asked him, "What made you say that?" "Tell me I'm wrong?" "I can't. Can I have a goodnight kiss?" "I could come in and tuck you in and kiss you good night." "If you got near me in that bedroom you might not make it out before tomorrow sometime so kiss me now, okay?" He kissed her and it was almost enough to take them back to the same crisis they faced in the kitchen. "Ross, I..., good night." Chapter Six Ross finally went to bed, but tossed and turned and slept fitfully for four or five hours and then sat up in bed. As he sat there in the darkness unable to focus on anything he ran his fingers through his hair and sat on the side of the bed. He could still feel her kisses and how she held him close. How her hands would slip up his back almost to his shoulders and caress him. He didn't know what to do. This problem was his creation and now he didn't know what to do about it. He wandered into the bathroom for a drink of water and then back to bed again. He wanted to go to sleep as much to escape from his problem as to rest. He lay back down and sleep finally did come and save him from his thoughts. By seven in the morning, he was sitting at the kitchen table and hugging his first cup of coffee. She didn't intend to sneak up behind him as she slipped silently into the kitchen, but his mind was so far away. It was easy for her to do just that before she bent down and kissed his unshaved cheek. Her kiss blended into his thoughts perfectly so rather than be startled he looked up at her and said, "Good morning, how did you sleep?" Library Privileges She smiled and admitted, "I did a lot of tossing and turning, but did manage to get to sleep eventually, how about you?" "Pretty much the same. You very nearly had me in your bed along about three this morning." I even stood up, but made myself get a drink and lay back down." "You would have found me awake had you come in." She poured her coffee and sat down before she added, "It's good that we didn't give in to our urges. I'm not at all happy about it because I wanted you so much, but we did the right thing." He was looking over his cup at her as he tasted his tepid coffee and said, "I looked out toward the streetlight and there is ice everywhere. You never would have made it home last night." "Ross, I'm glad I stayed. I don't know that I could survive another night like that, but I wouldn't give up what we shared for anything or anybody." Before anything more could be said, Lois called and asked Ross, "How is it there?" "It's a mess as far as I can tell. All I can see is an ice coating on everything." "Did Patty spend the night?" "Yes, she's in your robe and having coffee with me," he lied. "Want to talk to her?" "No, I'll talk to her later. So what are your plans for the day?" "I haven't a clue, it all depends on the ice. If it melts enough, I'll go in to work. If not, I'll stay here and stay warm and safe. How are your classes going?" "Fair, about half of the group left because of family emergencies from the ice storm. You do know it moved on east and got even worse right?" "No, I haven't been up long enough to catch the news yet. It sounds awful though." "I just wanted to see if we still had power and if Patty stayed. I'll see you in a few days." "Okay, see you." After Ross put the phone down, Patty waited a second and then asked him, "Did you not tell Lois you love her just because I was sitting here?" Ross studied the phone silently for a minute. He wasn't even aware that he hadn't told Lois he loved her. He looked at Patty then and in a slow thoughtful cadence said, "No, I wasn't even aware that I hadn't. But more than that, you just made me realize I don't tell her I love her, or at least I haven't for some time." "Don't say that just because you think that's what I want to hear." "That's not it at all. Until you said that, I wasn't even aware that I didn't." "Does she tell you that she loves you?" "I'd have to think about that a minute, but she didn't just then." "You know that's a bad habit to get into." "Yes it is. If you love somebody you should tell them often." Then she smiled at him and said, "I heard you tell her I as sitting here in her robe." "I thought that would be a good idea. Having you sit close to me in her shortest and filmiest nightie didn't sound like something that would make her day. It makes my day though." They both knew she was teasing him as she sat there closer to naked than dressed. "Ross, what are we going to do?" "You mean now? Well we could take a shower together." She smiled and admitted, "That would be wonderful, but we both know it wouldn't stop there. No, I was referring to the icy street and your plans for the day." "Patty, all we can do is wait for the ice to melt enough so you can make it home." "Ross, as much as I'd like to stay, I'm going to try to go home unless the news convinces me that it isn't safe." There is no way we are going to behave if I stay here all day." He knew she was right. He knew he wanted her to stay, but he also know that he wasn't planning to try very hard to behave. When the news came on about ten minutes later and they talked about the ice melting very rapidly she got up, kissed him softly, and went to get dressed. She came back a few minutes later and they shared an embrace before she said, "Ross, after we have had a chance to cool down and think about things we need to talk, but if I stay and try to talk, I'm going to talk us right into the bedroom. If I don't see you or talk to you before then, I'll see you Tuesday evening." "Call me when you get home okay? I'll wait right here until then in case you need help." She kissed him yet again and said, "Thank you for worrying about me." He walked her out and watched her back out of the driveway and ease herself toward her apartment. Ross went back inside and just wandered around the house like a dog looking for its master. The house seemed larger and a lot emptier than just a short time ago. He sat down and started to write. Patty had a good idea. He was going to write about what the two of them had just shared and suffered through. He would either work that into his story or use their experiences in a whole new one. Chapter Seven Lois got home Thursday night about eight and told Ross, "They had some long training sessions and sent us all home one day early." "Are you going to be too tired for your weekend trip?" "No, I'm fine so that won't be a problem. It will be fun, but it won't be a strenuous weekend I don't imagine. Now tell me how it went for you and Patty." "Not much to tell. The ice storm was nasty but we never lost our power. Patty read and I wrote a lot of the time." "You two didn't even talk to each other?" "Of course we did. We sat next to each other on the couch and talked for quite awhile in fact." "I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable or awkward for either of you." "Not really. She admitted that she reads my porn and that made for some awkward conversation, but it wasn't bad. She also admitted she had hated men for a long time, but she thinks she's getting past that now." Ross was doing what he could to cover what had taken place Tuesday night without actually admitting to anything. He didn't lie to her, but he left so much out it was difficult for him to talk about his time with Patty. "So do you think she was comfortable spending the evening with you?" "She seemed to be very comfortable once I convinced her she shouldn't risk trying to go home." Lois seemed satisfied with the answer and said, "I'm glad that you two had a pleasant Tuesday evening. I'd hate to lose our housekeeper now. You have as much time to play as you want now and I don't have to worry or feel guilty every time I go running off with the girls." "I have to admit I was wrong about that whole subject. Patty has turned out to be the perfect housekeeper and a good friend now." "Life is perfect now." "None of this is doing anything for us being together though." "Oh, we see each other all the time, honey. Like I said, life is good." Life was anything but good for him, but for the time being it was a big improvement to what it was a few short months ago. One thing that was really chewing on him was the realization that neither he nor Lois used the word love anymore, but then, they rarely argued either. That led him to thinking about their love life. In all the years he had known her, she'd had trouble with the winter months but it did seem to be getting a lot worse. Then he realized that this winter really was different in some ways. They still didn't make love, but she seemed a lot more willing and even eager to get out with her friends. Maybe she was finding a way to cope with the whole issue and he could only hope that would spill over into their love life. At work on Friday, Lois caught up with Patty and asked her, "Would you have time to have coffee with me after work?" "Sure, anything wrong?" "Not a thing, but I wanted to ask you about doing something extra for me at home, and...well, I do have something I'd like to talk about too." Patty could feel herself relaxing so she asked, "Want to have coffee at my place?" "That would be wonderful. That way we could talk and not be interrupted by the waiter or other people." "Unless you'll be late you can just follow me home then." "Wonderful. Meet you at the exit at five then." Patty walked away feeling a mixture of relief and curiosity. Technically she and Ross hadn't made love but their kisses had been so full of passion it was almost like making love. She still didn't know what she was going to do about that mess. As long as she and Ross weren't alone it would be okay, but if for any reason she found herself alone with him again, she knew there would be no stopping, at least not by her, and she had no reason to think Ross would feel any different. It was a very good thing that Lois couldn't read her mind. Now all she had to do was act normal while she and Lois had coffee. As planned, Lois followed Patty the four miles to her apartment, and all the way there Patty tried to imagine what Lois had on her mind to talk about. She gave Patty the impression that it was of some significance, but she gave no indication that Ross played any part in what she wanted to talk about. As they went in at Patty's she said, "Make yourself comfortable, the coffee won't take long at all. Patty had her own efficient system and it minutes she was serving French press coffee. When Lois saw the nice glass coffee server she said, "Very nice Patty, I love French press coffee." "I'm glad you do. I like it too and it makes just the right amount for me when I just want to relax and have coffee." "Ross said your awful ice experience had a happy ending." The way Lois said that could mean that she knew about them kissing but Patty played it innocently. "Ross went out of his way to make the evening pleasant for me. After we had dinner and I finished my work we just spent some time talking. Did he tell you I poured ice water on him?" Lois smiled and said, "No, he didn't mention that." "I don't know what came over me, but as we cleared the table after dinner I surprised him." Patty let her smile blossom and finished with, "I guess I need to work on my manners." "What did he do?" "He let out a yelp and vowed to get even with me. I tried to apologize, but just couldn't stop grinning at him. He was such a good sport about the whole thing." "I'm glad you stayed where you were safe and were able to enjoy the evening." "Thank you for insisting I stay. It really was dangerous to be out. I was halfway between here and your house when I realized I'd made a mistake going out, but it was faster to keep going than try to turn around." Lois paused over her coffee and then setting her cup down said, "One thing I wanted to ask you is would you be willing to work some extra hours? I want to pull all of my spring and summer things out and either press or wash whatever needs attention. It won't be long and I'll want to be making the change in my closet." "Of course, when did you have in mind?" "Well, would this weekend work? That way if Saturday isn't enough time for you, you'll have Sunday to finish." "That would be fine. I won't be in your way will I?" "Not at all. Ross will likely spend a good part of his day in his office and I won't even be in town until late Sunday." "You won't?" Patty could feel her heart jump and she wished she hadn't been so quick to agree to the weekend. "Lois...unless you're in a hurry to have that done...maybe Ross would just enjoy having some time to himself." Lois just smiled and said, "If Ross has the choice of being alone or having you there, I'd be willing to bet he'd prefer having you there." Patty just looked at her in confusion, unable to decide how to respond. "Patty, I know Ross thinks the world of you. I know he watches you, and in fact he even admitted to me that he likes to look at your legs." Patty said almost too quickly, "Then I'll stop wearing shorts." "That's not necessary at all. Obviously you are more comfortable in shorts and if Ross looks, that's fine." There was an almost uncomfortably long silence before Lois continued. "Patty, I have little doubt that he wants to make love to you." "Lois, what are you saying?" "Just that he has developed stronger feelings for you than he's willing to admit, and perhaps, even to himself. Your ice water trick is a good example. Had anybody else done that he wouldn't have been the least bit gracious. I'm not sure that I could have done that and not seen him react a whole lot differently." "But Lois, he and I have never..." "Oh, I believe you. I know that you're divorce nearly destroyed you and that you haven't had any..., thoughts about men or at least any good ones. But I've watched you around him and it isn't hard to see that you're finally getting past the trauma of your past." "Lois, what are you trying to say?" "I'm trying to find a way to say what I want to say without shocking you." "Perhaps it would be easier just to say it so we can sort it out and move on." Lois looked at her, down at her cup and then back to her. "Patty, what I'm trying to say is I don't mind if you and Ross make love. There I've said it." All Patty could do was stare at her in silence. "Patty, I know this is a shock to you, but I've been giving this a lot of thought. All I ask is that you two don't make love while I'm there." "I don't know what to think or say. What could ever make you say something like that? Why would you even think I want to make love to Ross?" "Patty, my desire to..., I really don't want to make love to him. I don't know why I've changed, but I have and I can't pretend I haven't." "Have you seen a doctor?" "No, and I don't intend to. I feel fine, great even. I'm getting along very nicely, but I've been worried about Ross for a long time. He is still young and isn't about to agree to a celibate life. Not with me or anybody else. Am I wrong about how you feel about him?" "Lois in the beginning I was surprised to find that I even liked him. Then as time passed, I had to accept the fact that I saw him as handsome, talented, and charming. Then when you told me about how he worried about me, I realized he has such a sweet heart." "Okay, keep going. Patty, you will not hurt my feelings or make me mad." "I don't know what else to say except to add I think he's a wonderful guy." "So you don't see the two of you making love?" "This whole conversation is so far out that I don't know what to think. I just can't answer that question with a simple yes or no. Lois, I wouldn't make love to any man just for the physical satisfaction. If I were to make love him I would have to have a solid emotional connection." "I can understand that." Lois stood up and said, "I'm sure what I've told you comes as a shock, and I'm sorry there wasn't a better or rather a gentler way to tell you how I feel." "I can't understand how you can casually offer your husband to me." "It isn't casual, believe me. This was in the back of my mind almost from the beginning." "Are you saying you either expected us to make love or you planned to bring us together?" "Something like that. I honestly expected the two of you to make love by now. Both of you are so full of life and I could see early on that you two really enjoy each other's company." "But when you approached me to clean your house, having a man in my life just wasn't part of my plan." "Oh, I know that, but I also know that you missed having a man in your life. Not just any man, but somebody you could respect and trust." Patty followed her toward the door and Lois added, "Well, if nothing else I've given you something to think about." She opened the door and then turned to Patty and said, "I'll leave it up to you to tell Ross or not. If you do tell him, Ross and I, of course, will have to spend many hours, if not weeks, talking about this. If you choose not to tell him, all of that can be avoided and the three of us can get on with our lives. Oh, and I'll let Ross know that you'll be there tomorrow morning. Otherwise, you might catch him lounging in his underwear or less. Bye." Chapter Eight All she could do was ask herself, how could a woman just offer her husband to another woman and casually walk away? Even after she had warned Lois of her need for emotional involvement, Lois just nodded and almost smiled. Patty felt that she had all but told Lois that love could be involved if she were to make love to Ross. Didn't she worry about the risk of losing her husband? Didn't she realize the great risk that she was taking? Then Patty thought about herself. What was she going to do? Since being with and making love to Ross had been dominating her thoughts, she had to accept the very real probability that would happen sometime in the next twenty four hours or even less. Was she ready to so totally submit herself to another man, especially a married man? She had to think about what she was going to tell Ross before anything ore happened between them. The only thing she knew for sure was, if it weren't for her strong feelings for him, she could walk away from the whole mess. Patty went to the kitchen and mindlessly fixed a small dinner. Not because she was hungry anymore, but it gave her something to do; something to occupy her mind. She picked her way through, but ended up tossing it out and curled up on the couch. She tried so hard to remind herself why it wouldn't be smart to take advantage Lois' offer, but all she could focus on, was how Ross felt in her arms. She managed to make it through the evening, but by nine o'clock she was curled up in bed and waited for sleep to rescue her from her thoughts. She felt a little better Saturday morning, but no less confused or uncertain. How was she going to act when she saw Ross? How was she going to stop herself from just walking his arms and then take him to bed? No, she had to be in control. She didn't even know if Ross would have second thoughts. What if he was buried in guilt and wouldn't want to get near her? She had a quick breakfast and then showered and got ready to go to work. She had her plan. After a cordial greeting she was going to get on with her work and not worry about what she would do until after she was done working and she'd had time to gauge Ross' feelings. She felt better knowing she had a plan, more like she had a chance of keeping control of her emotions. It took her less than ten minutes to get to Lois and Russ' and after parking in his driveway she sat there a minute and had a talk with herself, took a deep breath and went in. Her resolve lasted until she hit the kitchen and saw him standing there saying to her, "Morning honey, damn I've missed you." She fell into his arms and they shared a long and tender kiss before she managed to find the strength to say, "Now we have to behave so I can get started or I'll never get my work done" "Okay, but as soon as Lois told me you would be here I started to mentally pace until I could see you." "What did Lois say by the way?" "Just that you would be here to go through her spring and summer things, and that you would likely be here all day at the very least and possibly well into tomorrow. Oh, and she left you a note in the bedroom about what clothes and where they are and so forth. Oh, and one more thing, I have plans for lunch and dinner for us if that's okay." "That's wonderful. When did she tell you about me being here this weekend?" "Thursday evening, right after she got in from her training session." "Really? She didn't waste any time then it seems. I better go read the note and get started." "Coffee in a little while?" "Sure, I'll come looking for you." She was pretty proud of herself. When she saw him and he greeted her so warmly she melted but she didn't lose all control. But then she also knew the day was just starting and Lois had set the tone by saying Patty would be around for at least the day and likely much longer. She found Lois' note and like Ross had said, it detailed where to find the clothes and then went on to tell her that she meant all that she had said when they talked at Patty's house. After sorting clothes and running a load of laundry, it was easy for Patty to see that she wouldn't need all of Saturday, let alone part of Sunday, so Lois had to be setting the stage for a weekend long tryst with Ross. She went looking for him and found him in the kitchen. When he saw her he smiled and said, "Perfect timing, I just made coffee." She went over to him and they melted together as he said, "You feel so good in my arms."