14 comments/ 31112 views/ 7 favorites Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl By: Egmont Grigor CHAPTER 1 The fine summer day was spotted with white cookie-shaped clouds when Hunter Macdonald began laying out lunch for his party of thirteen tourists from around the world. Two grandmotherly types hurried to assist because that's the compulsively kindly thing many grandmothers do. The boating travelers were five miles from base, on a sandy beach on Pungarehu Sound, an ancient drowned glacier. Common among tired tourists weary at being on the road or in the air and now partly overwhelmed by the Great Outdoors, their status ranged from softly stressed to bitchy, depending on attitudes and experiences but even the homesick lightened up when Hunter began uncapping bottles of quality white wine, beer and fruit juices. "Look," whispered a nature-lover, pointing 25 yards across the Sound to the beach in a cove opposite them. A doe and fawn stared across at them but the timid duo melted into dense bush (native forest) at the outbursts of camera flashlight and wildly excited yelling, "Got them." Hunter took an unexpected radio call from base -- that position was too remote for cell phone coverage. The call surprised because Hunter ten minutes earlier he'd been called with a status report. "Julia calling City Boy. David is flying a party out to Goat Island tomorrow so you have your first Premium Super Trip client. He goes by the name of Lee Lincoln, American." "Received and noted Julia, Pity it had to be a loud-mouth American." "Some of them are very okay. Will try for a smiling and mute Japanese adventurer for you next time Mr Grumpy. Over and out." Hunter grinned. David Camp's wife Julia was old enough to be his mother but flirted with him outrageously, claiming she was infatuated by his unkempt blond hair and broad shoulders and the attitude of a man-alone city guy who had chosen the bush for success in the city. Julia was addicted to romance novels and had a collection probably exceeding 300. Twice after too many drinks she'd called him her Perfect Adventurer. That of course was female bullshit but Hunter enjoyed the attention and wondered why she couldn't see her now graying and slightly stooped husband as one of the greatest adventurers around, having had three books written about his exploits. Instead Julia and David scrapped like terriers. Women! David liked women and some women were prepared to drop their panties for him and some did, including here in the wilds. Julia's middle and only married daughter had taken his scalp, or whatever women called it. Hunter was sure Julia didn't know because her manner toward him hadn't changed. But none of those females had been real women. David knew he wanted to mate long-term with a real woman. A real woman? Hunter had a problem with definition: he wasn't sure what she should be like and that explained why, at thirty-three, he hadn't found his real woman. Also he wasn't aware he needed to exhibit charm. Premium adventurers who paid fifteen hundred bucks a day wanted their days crammed with action so next day Hunter paddled three hours up the Sound in the double kayak where he waited on a sandbank. Just on 8:15 he heard the chopper and covered his ears as Julia's oldest daughter Bess waved at him and landed to deposit the Big Buck American aiming to shoot the crap out of some of New Zealand's wildlife. Hunter saw Bess grinning as he gaped. Lee because Lee Lincoln wore lipstick and had tits. "Hello, I'm Lee and gather you are Hunter. Great name." Hunter stood transfixed so Lee turned and yelled above the idling engine noise and slow rotation of the chopper, "Can you fetch me in another guide Bess? This one doesn't talk." "He was expecting a man Lee, isn't it a laugh? He's really cute and mom loves him." Lee rocked with laughter. "Off you go. Dummy looks capable of giving me a great time." Turning sourly and thinking it was really okay for women to have their joke, Hunter wondered about sleeping arrangements and would this Lee drop her panties for him. He began stowing her excessive gear in the storage compartments. "You still haven't greeted me." Hunter stood and said hi and added to sound cheerful to a broad dressed like a man. "You look cute." Lee looked at him severely. "I will overlook that personal remark. Now be professional at all times. Where is my boat?" "This is a kayak for two. Some clients can't paddle or won't paddle and some can't sustain paddling. You were supposed to come to travel light." "The older woman back at what you people call base attempted to reduce what I wanted to bring but I refused, saying I was the client and what I say goes. She and Bess began laughing for some reason. Why was that?" Hunter shrugged and said there was no problem. He'd lash the extra gear on top of camping gear and said providing they didn't sink it would be only a matter of trying not to turn turtle. "You mean capsize." "If you like." "You must not capsize me. It will ruin my photographic gear." "I will do my best to keep your knickers dry." "Excuse me, there you go with another personal remark." "It's a Kiwi expression, a bit like you guys saying casually, 'God Save America'. Lee snapped had he something against Americans and Hunter said no, and Bess's mother had said some of them were nice. Lee glared at him and Hunter thought well her panties wouldn't be dropped for him. Considering her somewhat aggressive behavior he would be lucky to return home without being mauled. "Where's your rifle and ammo?" "Ohmigod, one of those bloodthirsty New Zealanders I've heard so much about. I shoot wild animals with a camera, not with a gun. And may I ask where is your rifle?" "I haven't one and pack this knife for your protection." "Oh, despite your size you are too gutless to shoot wild pigs and deer. You are just a pussy." "The only pussy around here..." Hunter stopped, horrified at what he had almost finished saying and then to his astonishment caught a grin as Lee looked away. Hunter hurried into professional mode. "Miss Lincoln please take the front seat for the better view. I'll hold the craft steady." "Call me Lee, there is no need to grovel just because you stopped halfway in saying something very disgusting to me." Hunter shut his mouth and sniffed her perfume and she slid and wriggled into her seat. He imagined her boobs moving out of rhythm under that thick bushman's shirt and then felt her hair tickling his nose. He jerked back and hoped he hadn't sniffed. "Well accomplished, we can work as a team," she said. "Actually it wouldn't be a disaster if we did capsize as my photographic gear is in waterproof containers as you probably noticed." "It could be disastrous for us -- bull sharks have been caught in these waters." "Oh God! Hold me," Lee shouted. Hunter thought it best to do nothing. "Well, at least that proved you are not an opportunist. Drive on McDuff." Hunter handed Lee her double paddle. "Am I expected to paddle?" "Please yourself, but we make better time if you do and you get the feeling of being involved." The tension between them continued until lee was about to steer them into an inlet. "That noise, is it rapids?" "Something like that." "Why answering me so laconically and without substance?" "To avoid detracting from you enjoying surprising adventure." "That's bullshit. It's just that you don't like talking to women...Ohmigod." Fifty yards into the inlet ended with a seventy-five foot high rock face with a jutting lip at the top over which water fell directly into the seawater below, rainbows formed in the mist against the backdrop of lush green and brown vegetation. "Stop the kayak, I must unbundled my camera." Hunter grinned and said nothing. They were motionless. Lee took a dozen photographs, including some close-ups after putting her camera into a waterproof housing. "Great photographs but waterfalls are waterfalls. I really wanted something memorable." "What, for this rest of your life, something to like at into old age?" Lee turned to look at Hunter curiously. "That was rather a thoughtful and sensitive remark." He shrugged and looked away. "Well?" He yawned and grinned and asked well what? "What do you have in mind?" "Too creative and daring for you." "Oh yeah?" He yawned and fired up Lee said, "Let's do it." "Can you strip without tipping us out." "Of course I could, but not for you." "What about for you?" Lee snorted and asked was that a joke. "Get your gear off, climb out gently into the water and I'll provide the counter-balance. Climb on to the just submerged rock in front of the falls and then do just as I say and I'll photograph you. You'll get wet in the spray." "The sun will dry me. You'll do this for me?" Hunter stroked his nose. "Yes, it could be a photograph you'll treasure." "You'll see me nude." "Yes, that usually happens when a woman takes her clothes off. I've seen women nude including up close and dangerous. Am I about to see something I've never seen before?" "I wouldn't think so. Dignity is invisible." Hunter looked away as he said that was a profound thought and knew Lee would be looking at him curiously. Women seemed to take notice of guys who exercised their mind. The kayak wobbled and the next thing Hunter knew was Lee saying, "Here, take my shirt and sunglasses and then undo my bra. Oh-oh -- the sharks." "Underneath us is almost pure fresh water. Anyway, two sharks caught in twenty years in billions of gallons of water in the Sound scarcely indicate shark infestation." "No bullshit Hunter, is it worth me taking this risk?" "Yeah, show me your tits." She grinned excitedly and handed him the bra and then removed her boots and thick trousers. She left them where they dropped. "I'll leave my panties on." "Hand them to me Lee." She obeyed and a minute later was in the water and told not to bother trying to keep her hair dry. "The water is freezing." "Good, that will give you perky nipples." "Hunter!" Lee stood on the rock looking like a woman contemplating suicide so Hunter took the shot, grinning. He then instructed her to take a series of poses with hands on her hips, a hand on her hip and one in her hair. "I'm coming in closer." "No don't, that means you'll really see my vulva." "See one pussy and you've seen the lot." They both knew that was a lie. After a series of close-ups, Hunter said he'd take the final three shots. "Spread your legs a bit -- whoa, that's it. You have a pretty pussy. Now turn slightly around to the right left hip towards me and arch your left side a little to reduce the tummy roll. That's it, now push both hands through your hair about ear level." "That will push out my breasts excessively." "I say beautifully and I'm the photographer. Do what I say." Checking the outer lens was dry Hunter took the last three photographs and then told Lee to slip into the water and grab the portage carry rope handle behind him. He'd tow her to the sand spit. "Sharks?" "A remote risk." "Then paddle and don't look at me when I'm on the beach drying and dressing." "No ma'am. I'll be too busy thinking of you at seventy with your tits down around your belly button and looking at that gorgeous photograph taken of you all those years ago in New Zealand." "Hunter, don't!" "Unavoidable ma'am." "Hunter, I'm Miss not ma'am." "As you wish ma'am, " he said to the mellowing American who was about thirty-three, his age. When dressed Lee looked at the photos on the back of her high-resolution digital camera. Her eyes soften by tears she called to her guide, "Paddle in to get me Hunter. Those last three shots were beautifully composed, leaving me half-in love with myself. What were your thoughts?" "What I saw through the lens was okay." Lee appeared ready to cuff him for that lack of enthusiasm. * * * Late afternoon Hunter led Lee back through fairly open bush towards the Sound. On the tops (top of the range above the nine-month's snowline) Lee had photographed several deer including a magnificent buck. Suddenly Hunter stopped with his hand in the 'no noise' position. She crept closer and he whispered that grunting they could hear was from pigs foraging in the undergrowth. "They can be very dangerous and may charge on sight. The tusks on larger boars can cut through your trousers and rip muscle from the bone. If they get you down they may gather as a pack and eat you. "Oh God." "That's the bad news sweetie," Hunter said, drawing a startled look. "I think I hear the sound of piglets. It we can get close you may get some great shots. I keep the lookout for you. If the sows or boars charge climb a tree to save your life. Got it?" Lee looked wild-eyed and nodded. "Christ, what an adventure. But you are kidding, aren't you." "Sorry, I'll be careful," she said, reacting to the alarmed look she'd received. They took up their position, down wind of the group of pigs and five tiny piglets came frolicking very close to them and even appeared to stare at them before racing back to their mother snouting between tree roots. "Did they see us?" "Pigs have poor eyesight but they knew something was here. Come on, let's lower the risk and go." "Lower the risk?" "There were no males in that group that I could see. We don't want them taking us by surprise." Lee walked very close to Hunter and a few yards out they reached a little more open ground. "Phew, that was scary," Lee said. She groaned when they looked up saw a couple of mean-faced boars looking at them and Hunter scared them off with a big shout just as she was about to click off a shot. Lee turned to berate him but shouted "Hunter!" She'd seen a large boar charging toward them. She dropped to a knee and photographed it. "For fuck sake, up the tree," Hunter yelled tearing the camera from her grasp and virtually throwing her up a vine-clad tree trunk. There was no time for him to climb, the boar on him. "Hunter!" Lee screamed helplessly. As the enraged animal was close enough for Hunter to smell it he steeped sideways behind the trunk. The boar attempted to hook sideways and hit the tree, squealing as it bounced off. Hunter climbed into the fork where Lee waiting and crying. She hugged him and stroked his hair and kissed his cheek several times. "Oh my brave man," she cooed. "I almost had you killed." "Get off," he said, pushing her away. "Idiots can't help but be idiots. Anyway, where has Miss Up-herself gone?" "I really can't understand what you're saying you awful man. Let's get out of here." "We'll have to stay a few minutes as the boars could be lurking. They're not as stupid as sows." "That's bullshit and you know it. Well, just in case it isn't, would you care to play with my breasts? "That will only encourage your breasts to hang to your waist sooner," he snapped, annoyed she'd stupid put them both at risk. Well, he could be interested. "You mean-spirited asshole," she yelled, and swung at huge slap at his mouth. He turned away and caught it across the ear and howled, "Bitch." and only with a desperate lunge did Hunter manage to prevent his over-balancing client from falling from the tree. Lee came into his arms sobbing and saying she was such a cow. "You tits are nothing like an udder," he grinned, taking a high-risk and grabbing a boob. Fortunately for him Lee forgot her anger and remembered about sex. "Oooh, you lovely man," she said, wriggling out of the top of her over-sized shirt and dragging her bra over the top of her boobs. They kissed and sucked -- Lee going for Hunter's nipples -- until they ran out of steam so she said hopefully, "I've never been made love to in a tree." "Well, now's not the time," grunted Hunter, stretching her right nipple with his teeth. He let it go and said they must settled into camp before dusk, the first priority was to get there. "We can fuck on your own private island which I'll name Sex Island." "Doesn't it have a sweeter name?" Hunter lied, "Not that I know of." "Oh lovely man," Lee sighed, filled with romantic notions that softened her. On the paddle across to the island, the soft setting sun revealing her beauty as she turned to Hunter and said: "Even when I reach the age when my tits droop to my pubic bone I'll remember the most compelling command anyone has given me, 'For fuck sake, up the tree'!" "I'd like to be remembered in posterity in that way," Hunter grinned and made kissing sounds at her. "It's good the camera appears undamaged. That charging pig shot could go front cover on a magazine. It looked crazy and was crazy to be charging you." "Oh darling, mommy is going to be so good to you tonight." "Watch the bull shark ahead." Lee turned so suddenly she almost overturned them, not that the kayak would have rolled over in six inches of water. They were beaching on the island. "You're a fucking maniac Hunter whatever your name is. I almost died of heart failure!" "But you know I would have taken your body back to mommy and daddy." "Would you like to visit America?" "Dunno. Anything worth looking at over there?" Lee looked at him slit-eyed. "You're such a fucking tease Hunter whatever your name is." CHAPTER 2 Hunter disembarked at O'Hara International Airport rather impressed to find many of the airplanes were Boeings and Airbus's, the same as operated by Air New Zealand. On the leg from LA had hadn't seen sheep or dairy cow but nor had he seen film stars in LA or cowboys as the aircraft came in low over Chicago. Plenty of high building landscape pollution though. He then resolved not to make comparisons, to take America and Americans as he found them. Hunter's decision to go to America during the winter (it was summer in North America) had produced a long smirk from Julia. "I wonder why that lovely American became so dotty on you -- she didn't appear to be on drugs?" "I have no idea." "She wrote me once a month for three months to check on you and then nothing." "She never wrote me." Julia had sighed and said Lee had the brains to know she wouldn't get a reply. "She's referred to you constantly as 'Hunter Whatever'. She seems to be quite a tease." "She's lovely." "Oooh Hunter, I've never heard you say anything so nice about a female. I wonder what she has planned for you?" "She becomes a different woman when she takes off her knickers," Hunter said. He bit his tongued, annoyed at blurting that out and listened in disbelief when Julia turned quite pink and said she'd often wondered about doing that for him but if her daughters found out they'd all want a shot at him including Kaye who was pregnant again. "Saved by overriding morality seeping through eh Julia," Hunter said, rubbing her hair as if playing with a dog and kissing her cheek. "You've been more of a pal than a mother to me. If only you'd acknowledge you are married to a real man." "You've said that to me before Hunter. Exactly what do you mean?" "One night when you a drunk enough to listen I'll tell you sweet lady. Perhaps on my return from America, if I go." "Hunter Macdonald, you will be boarding that flight even if I have to drag you there by the balls myself." "Spoken like the appropriate spouse of an action man adventurer and hero all rolled into one." "Hunter, stop it. You confuse me." "Oh Julia, if only you realized that most romantic women are thwarted because they are married to wimps. You'd have it all if you saw your husband as clearly as you see marks on your washing. Pass me the coffee pot please." Hunter spent a couple of days in Chicago but found it too big and people were in too much of a rush for him. He lodging enquiries with a couple of job-finder agencies about finding work for him for a couple of months as an assistant park ranger trapping and relocating wild animals from parkland inhabited by too many campers, leaving copies of his CV and references. While waiting for responses he decided to visit a smaller city to call on the sometimes aggressive Miss Lee Lincoln. Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl He called and initially she was rude. "Hunter Macdonald? I don't know you -- sorry, must go as I'm on the other line with a girlfriend. Find your own date by conventional means." "Wait! I photographed your tits, you standing on a rock being sprayed by a waterfall. Are they drooping yet?" "Oh God, that Hunter. Just a moment while I get rid of Susan." "Wait. How many other guys called Hunter do you know?" "None, but that's not the point (she never did explain what was the point). Please hold." In the terminal at the bus station a blonde hurled herself at the surprised Hunter, throwing her legs around his waist like an over-exited and over-sexed teenager. "Hi my beauty," he said and they kissed. "Great to see you again. Have you had your tree fuck yet?" "Please do not speak so disgustingly young man." "Oh Hunter," Lee said climbing down, straightening her clothes. "This is my mom. I often call her Hilda so you can too." Hunted almost gaped. The woman appeared to be as sexy for an older babe, rather like Julia way back at base. "Hi Mrs Lincoln. Welcome to America." The woman's stiff face cracked into a smile. "Young man, I believe you are confused and disoriented following your long travel. This is indeed America and you are the arrival, not me." Lee smiled, "I told you he's such a tease mom. And very intelligent." "Allow me to be the judge of the latter darling. Hunter, please call me Hilda. Now if my eldest daughter can keep her hands off you please follow me to our car." "I thought Yanks rode in cabs?" "Yanks?" "Oops, that's New Zealand vernacular surviving the Second World War years." "Vernacular is a rather a word used by the educated. Are you well educated Lee?" "Yes." "To what degree?" "Whatever," Hunter replied and when Mrs Lincoln looked dissatisfied Lee sighed and said, "Get used to him mom. He only talks expansively when the subject interests him or if it's an essential need to know basis such as warning about bull sharks." "Then he considers my interest in his education is of no interest to him?" "Yes mom." "How primitive and how boring." "Don't misjudge him mom. He currently works out in the bush or forest to you where talking is almost redundant." "Mrs Lincoln, pardon me. I have an MBA from London, England, and a lesser degree from Canterbury University in New Zealand but you must admit that's really of no interest to you." Mother and daughter looked at Hunter open-mouthed and Hilda said dryly, "Shall we go? Gus will be home early waiting to greet you." "Oh, your husband is not called Abe?" Mrs Lincoln looked at her houseguest as if in pain and reminded him to call her Hilda. "I apologize Hilda. My tongue acts compulsively at times. It was a cheap shot." "Thank you Hunter," she said, as Lee squeezed her breast against Hunter's arm. "As I was saying Abe and I -- a joke Hunter, please laugh -- asked our daughter how on earth could she call you the first real man she'd ever dated and asked us to host you when she didn't appear to know anything of merit about you, apart from knowing how to keep her safe." Hunter said confidently, "But that notwithstanding you had faith in your daughter's judgment and there was also something else. What was that Hilda?" Hilda looked at Hunter quite wide-eyed. "Lee convinced me you had a brain not in the diminutive sense." "I guess that means a working brain used in the sense of intelligence processor?" "Yes, it does. Are you going to be a surprise package to me Hunter?" "I'll be however you find me ma'am. May I ask, was the other reason to influence you having me as a houseguest related to the fact I sent your daughter home as a better person as a result of her experiences with me, and by that I don't mean the sex?" Lee squeezed Hunter's arm against her breast again. "Sex?" Hilda almost wheezed. "In this country many of us don't talk openly about such a personal thing." "Yes, well the Pilgrim Fathers and their tight-lipped women rather screwed things up for this country, didn't they?" "Be very careful young man, you are a guest in this country and we expect aliens to be respectful." "Ah, rightly or wrongly the citadel must be defended." "That's insulting." "So you want me to talk but when I do converse you want me to shut up?" "I-I...I don't know. You are making this so difficult." Lee said, "Come on you two. I warned you he could be difficult mom. He can be polite but his natural way is not to take crap from anyone and that includes women. Answer the question mom." "What question?" "Why you wanted him in your house." "No, for God's sake Lee." "Hunter, for almost three months after my return I moped over you and then mom introduced me to Art Baylis and Art and I will marry in the fall. I kept saying it was the wrong choice but mom insisted how could that be, Art was the perfect match for me but Art is not the sort of person who'd sit with me high in a tree after being chased by a killer boar with eight-in tusks and then pull out my breasts and fondle them." "Careful Lee, romantic notions may not be good for you." "Oh thank God," Hilda said, clutching Hunter's other arm. "You know Lee should marry Art, her perfect match." "Sorry, I don't know that Hilda," Hunter said as Hilda snatched away her hand. "All I was doing was to warn Lee to be careful if being influenced by romantic notions." "There mom, I told you Hunter was awesome and would be more than a match for you, dad and Art combined." "I feel I don't much like you Mr Macdonald." "Fair enough Mrs Lincoln. If I come to know you better we may find that feeling is mutual." "That's unfair. I'm a woman and have become emotionally distraught." "That's bullshit, power play and you know it Mrs Lincoln. Now you have me in front of you, you are attempting to cut a clear division between your daughter and me. At thirty-something and a college graduate don't you think Lee is capable of sorting out herself? " "How do your know Lee is a college graduate? Did she tell you?" "No, we didn't find such a conversation relevant in the environment we shared. But sure as hell she doesn't talk and think and act like a store clerk." The audacity of the man broke through and Hilda laughed. "Now who's talking bullshit although you do happen to be correct? I'd like you to return to calling me Hilda. I'm finding you quite fascinating...if only you had charm." "Hunter is mean mom. He only uses charm when he wants something. He used it to charm the pants off me." Hilda sniffed and tossed the keys to the Mercedes to Hunter. "Lee told me New Zealanders drive on the wrong side of the road, I take it you have the skills to drive our way?" "Yeah, basically it means following the cars ahead, taking advice from backseat passengers and doing nothing compulsive." "Good boy." Lee raised her eyebrows. "You've never used that term with Art." Hilda told Lee she was being picky and laughed nervously. "You know Hunter I must admit this. Lee went to New Zealand as a lovely but a somewhat aimless young woman interest in little beyond her work and returned home the same lovely woman but with her unlikable streaks gone, including most of her arrogance and bossiness that had flared from time to time. The whole family was aware of it as well as Lee's friends. You appear to have armed my daughter with new confidence and a boosted sense of self-worth." "Perhaps it was the sex." Lee giggled and Hilda's eyes narrowed and she said well Lee seemed content in every respect since she'd taken up with Art. * * * Gus appeared to be a likeable guy and was possibly even more conservative that his wife. Lee showed him the guestroom. As soon as they entered the room Hunter dropped his bags and closed in behind Lee and cupped her breasts. She turned and they kissed before she pushed him away and said, "Down boy. You must not touch me sexually so long as Art is around and that is likely to be for decades." "Okay." "As mom says, good boy. I have three girlfriends who'll be coming around to see you. They are all into casual relationships, one being a divorcee." "You think I can take on all three?" "One at the time silly," Lee chuckled. "Of course if you want a bit of maturity there's always Aunt Janis, mom's youngest sister. She was a beauty queen and still looks like it and is addicted to sex. She'd probably give it to you, although her preference is men with money. With any of them it will have to be very discreet because I don't want you to plummet any farther with mom." "What?" "Oh God, I shouldn't have said that," Lee said and ran from the room. Initially puzzled, Hunter then grinned. Clever Lee had just told him something in code, whether or not she intended to. Her mom wanted him here just to assure herself Lee had mistaken lust for love with him and to determine if Hunter was all he'd been cracked up to be. Further, from what Lee had just said it indicated Lee herself was not yet settled 100% on this Art guy. Hunter rubbed his limp cock through his trousers, tickled pink. "Oh hello handsome. You are gorgeous," said the sharp-nosed blonde opening the French doors and stepping into the room, "What you are doing with that hand is something I can do for you." "It-it's caught in my underpants," Hunter lied but blondie ignored that and lent over the bed and spread her fat thighs. "Push it in darling." Hunter gurgled and they both heard Hilda call, "Come for coffee Hunter." "Come for coffee miss," he said. "The name is Liddy. I'll go our and return through the front door to save you embarrassment." That woman turned out to be the divorcee and Hunter concluded he had nothing in common with her. That evening Paula and Savannah arrived but failed to impress and Lee appeared annoyed he'd not latched on to beautiful Savannah (with her cold eyes and haughty look). Lee had hissed, "Well you're not getting me. Grow up Hunter -- go buy a jerk magazine." Lee's erratic behavior was beginning to puzzle Hunter but he had no one to talk to about it although he could call Julia back at base. Perhaps later. CHAPTER 3 Hunter went for a late evening walk thinking about Lee and photographs of her in page after page of 'Tit Ass & Cunt Magazine' so passing a late-night store he called in to buy a jerk mag. The nondescript woman just handing over to a guy taking the night shift came up and said sweetly, "Yes sir?" looking at the double page spread of pussy in the publication Hunter had opened. "Do you like it as hair, shaven or varied sir?" "Clipped," Hunter said, not knowing what else to say. "There we go sir," she said, handing him a glossy he'd mistaken for a women's magazine (well, actually it was) titled, 'Classy Coiffure'. "Goodnight Jack," she called to the guy behind the counter and left. Lee slipped into Hunter's bed just after 6:30, waking him up to say, "It's a little sad that I've found someone else." "Jesus Lee, get out of here...your mother!" "Relax, she's only just waking up slowly and anyway knows I won't fuck you." "That's bullshit Lee. Come on, out of here before I push you out and inadvertently bruise you. Then what will lover boy think?" Lee snapped, "Stop talking about Art like that. You have no right." "Yeah, just like you have no right in my bed. Get out of here." Lee stalked out and slammed the door, waking her parents. Hunter heard Hilda say, "Hello darling, what a noise you are making. You look ready to take a swing at someone. Obviously you have not been sneaking in to talk to our guest." Lee's door slammed and Hunter heard her father say, "Is Lee becoming hormonal again? I thought we saw the last of that when she began putting it around after she turned eighteen." "Gus, shut up. Your knowledge of female metaphysics is abominable. Get me coffee." Hunter drifted back to sleep and a little after 9:00 walked about the seemingly empty house and called out was anyone there. Hilda answered from her bedroom she'd be out soon. Hunter waited ten minutes, a long time for a guy waiting for a woman. When she didn't appear he walked into the bedroom without knocking and found Hilda on her bed, in the nude, attending to her legs. "Hunter get out," she screamed. He walked over to the bed, most interested and asked, "Hair removal?" Hilda choked, "Yes," her hands bouncing up between her tits and pussy indicating confusion about what to cover. There was a box between her knees so she couldn't clamp her thighs shut. "Please allow me. I used to do this for my mom and my sister before she married and moved to Australia. I've perfected the technique of getting everything ready and kidding along and yanking when they're least expecting it." "Please go," Hilda moaned. Hunter leaned over and yanked off the cloth strip she had placed over part of the waxed area. "Huh?" "See, it didn't hurt did it?" "Well..." "Right, which is you panties drawer? Toss a pair on and you'll feel more comfortable while I go to work." "And my bra." "No, you have a great pair. Flaunt them at me." "Hunter!" Later she admired the handiwork she complimented Hunter. "Thanks, when you grow in confidence with me perhaps you'll allow me to trim your vulva. It looks a little wild. Pretty it up and Gus may become more interested more often." "Don't say that to me and besides that is a ridiculous expectation." "A girlfriend taught me how to trim her pussy and I interested mom in allowing me to work on hers. I swear to you not long after that I heard her call dad 'tiger' during the night." "That's a lie, I don't believe you." "Who cares -- is your disbelief versus the truth and I don't have to run my ass off trying to prove it. I'll leave you to clean up and are you going to hurry along with breakfast or should I go to the local dinner?" "Sit down at the kitchen table and read the newspaper darling, I mean Hunter. I'll be right out." * * * After two night's at the Lincoln's residence Hunter almost had Hilda eating out of his hand. He speculated he could meet Art a few times and secretly introduce Hilda to many of Art's faults but what was the point? Hilda would become so chummy she might try to fuck him and unless that was handled correctly it could bring down the family. That very morning she'd brought him in coffee wearing a carelessly tied gown and he saw she wore nothing underneath it. No, it was not working out. Lee seemed to be constantly pissed with him. Well she had renewed their connection to remind her what he was like and could now compare him with that university twit Art Baylis. Twit? Yes, because if he were Mr Right Lee would know where her heart was, no bullshit. Hilda was out all day the third day Hunter was at the house and she'd mapped out a program for him and left him her Mercedes. Hunter sighed, thinking he was getting nowhere and wondered about going out to have a few beers when a guy from an agency called and said he'd found a park board in a state with reciprocal arrangements with Oceania. New Zealand was in Oceania wasn't it? Hunter thought it might be, depending on which map one looked at and the agency guy said that was good enough for him. "Can you get your ass up to park headquarters in Washington State inside three days?" Hunter said sure and went to the fax machine and gave the guy the number as the guy would completely formalities and send facsimiles of the tickets and his contract through to Hunter by 4:00 that day. Well, well. Goodbye Illinois, thought Hunter, his mind already on his new adventure. He spent time writing. * * * Dear Julia. This is a private letter to you, for your eyes only. I'll enclose a general news page that you can show to everyone in case they noted you'd got incoming mail from America. It's about you and David. You are allowing your life to slip by without acknowledging you are wedded to superman: two round the world yacht races, climbing four of the highest mountain peaks in the Andes and a former top 100 finisher in the Boston, New York, London and Sydney Marathons. Sure he received notoriety in tangling with those two former supermodels and their outraged husbands in South America, was caught in a brothel raid in Boston along with some of the city's leading males and a female judges. Not forgetting of course he was fined for drunken behavior of attempting to walk into the Tower of London nude and that appearance in court hit back home on TV and you heard about it from people you hadn't heard of for ten years or more. But so what? We know he's a lazy bugger around the house but is faultless in that helicopter or out on the boats leading tourists into adventures and has always brought them back, all of them without broken limbs and tiredly deliriously happy. Sure you groan about his stained underpants spoil the look of your white washing on the line (buy him black ones) and he leaves the toilet seat up, but ask most married women and they'll admit shrugging off the same problems. We know he leaves your car almost out of gas, but I've been thinking: make a rule he doesn't eat dinner until he's checked your gas tank and it is ridiculous you complaining about too much sex from David when half the women in the country are complaining they're not getting enough and some of those wish they were getting it from David. As you know my dad ran away on us when I was a kid Julia and since I've been with you guys he's become my hero and made me, a guy straight from a city desk, into a very competent boatie and bushman. I love you both heaps. Please look after David and cherish him Julia. Don't wait until he dies before you realize what you had in your arms and you really love him more than anything on earth -- er, along with your three daughters. Lots of love. Hunter in America. P.S. I never told you this but my dad named me Hunter because he was mad keen about hunting but he ran off before I was old enough for him to take me hunting. David fixed that for me, didn't he? * * * Making coffee, Hunter called the number for Lee and asked the receptionist was Lee a hairdresser. "Hair dresser sir?" "Isn't your outfit called International Hair Coloring International Corporation?" "Yes sir. Miss Lincoln is a senior chemist responsible for most of our recent breakthroughs as opposed to incremental improvements. Who is calling please?" "Hunter Macdonald." "Oh, just a moment sir. She said if you bothered to call to put you straight through as you'd either be lost, crashed her mom's car or and irate husband was after you." Hunter felt about six inches tall. Lee asked him to speak up because he sounded so far away. "Sorry, I feel six inches tall." "Ah, some husband has come home unexpectedly and flattened you." "That's not funny Lee." "Oh, sorry. What can I do for you?" "I'd like to take you guys out to dinner tonight, some posh plash, near the bus station." "Okay, it's not the best part of town but two blocks over..." "That will be fine. Say 8.30?" Lee agreed and said it was very generous of him. At the restaurant as they were finishing with coffee, Hunter said nervously, "Guys, may I have your attention?" Gus, Hilda and Lee looked at him curiously. "I have really enjoyed my few days with you guys and the hospitality has been wonderful, but all things must come to an end." "Oh Hunter, we haven't bored you already have we, and just when I was getting on your wavelength?" Gus said. "This is so sad." Hilda almost sobbed, "Was it something I did or didn't do?" They all looked at Hilda eyebrows raised but then Lee diverted by crashing her chair into the wall and running to Hunter sobbed, "I'll sleep with you if you'll stay. Please stay." People around them looked on and listened with apparent fascination. Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl "I was going to announce tonight that Art is coming to stay for the weekend," Lee sobbed. "I can't understand why he hates you Hunter when he's never met you and you refuse to say whether or not you like him. I'll even sleep between you both if you agree to stay." "Well I can't tell you whether or not I like the guy until I meet him, can I Lee? I'll tell you what, if he has the balls to have sex in the fork of a high tree it's probable I'll like him." "That's outrageous," Gus said while Hilda shouted no it wasn't, it was a code of romantic behavior formulated in New Zealand between Lee and Hunter. Have you ever had a fuck up a tree Gus, you unromantic man?" "You damn well know I haven't?" Gus snarled. "Well, start before we become too old," Hilda said. To their horror everyone in nearby tables cheered. The family and Hunter retreated with apologies to other dinners, an inebriated woman leading three cheers for 'our sexually dysfunctional fellow diners'. After paying the bill Hunter apologized for allowing events to get out of hand. "Nonsense, we'll look back on that and have a good laugh," Gus smiled. "Up a tree. Whatever will you young people think of next?" Hunter asked Hilda would she drop him off at the bus station. His two bags were in the back of her car. "Yes, certainly but why the bus station?" "My travel warrant to Washington State is from Chicago by rail because I wanted to start off in daylight to see the countryside. The train leaves at 4 am." "Come on, we'll all go down to the business station." "No dad, I can't bear for this to drag out. I'm saying goodbye here." Her eyes moistened and she hurled the spear: " Hunter I wanted you to fight for me." "Yeah, I knew that but no way was I going to influence your decision in that manner." "Well it's goodbye then," Lee said sobbing. "Perhaps. But in case I'm wrong have a happy wedding." "What do you mean?" "Nothing." "See what I mean mom? He's so fucking exasperating." "Hush dear and be a lady. He means only you can truly make up your mind." Lee said that was bullshit and held out her hand to be shaken. Hunter grabbed her and hugged her but she wouldn't kiss him, although no longer crying. Lee pleaded, "Write me?" "Yeah." "When?" Hunter shrugged, "When I feel like it." "What's your address?" "Dunno yet. When I get it and think about writing you'll get it." "See mom. He lives within his head." "If you were up a tree with him I would think not darling but run along, don't attempt to drive until you're settled." Outside the bus station after Hunter retrieved his luggage, Gus shook Hunter's hand and then slapped his back hard, twice. "I really wish..." "Can it Gus, don't even think about it. You other daughter is coming home from France in two weeks after completing her degree. Focus on her. Goodbye Hilda." "Goodbye lovely boy. In some ways you're the most endearing young man I've met but then you spoil it. I now believe your approach is correct and I'll will not influence Lee in any way." She kissed Hunter and at her car turned and called, "I was wondering what time of year New Zealanders would prefer to attend a wedding in America?" "Mid fall." "Jesus," Gus said, when he managed to close his mouth sufficiently. "You'd be unwise to read too much into that Gus. Pay that attendant ten bucks to look after your illegally parked car and I'll buy you coffee. The emotion of this departure has rather gotten to me." CHAPTER 4 After a two-day induction program learning about park activities, its boundaries and residents, the responsibilities of the park authority and personnel and safety and emergency procedures, admin assigned Hunter to a unit. A little excitedly, Hunter watched Charlie Wright and Sandy Jones leave the ute and come toward him and then he groaned: Sandy was attractive, blonde with a sub nose and a cute smile -- a fucking woman! A guy was supposed to be able to work in the wild protected from women. The forest was a place where guys sweated by day, swapped yarns over playing cards at night and slept dreaming fondly of the babes they'd left behind. This equal opportunity employment law was eating into this country's underbelly -- couldn't America of all countries see that? "Hi Kiwi said 50-something Charlie, extending a powerful mitt. "My dad was down your way during WW2 (World War 2) and hold-up in a military hospital in Wellington with Japanese shrapnel in both shoulders. He liked the smile on a trainee nurse and eventually she became my mom. Both have now passed on." "Great story and must have been great experiences for your dad Charlie and your mom obviously got lucky." "Yeah, I go down there every so often for some hunting and fishing." "Hello Hunter, I'm Sandy," said his ranger buddy but was ignored. "Come down my way next time you visit Charlie and I'll give you a week of adventure that'll knock your nuts off." Charlie grinned and nodded. Exasperated Sandy thrust her hand forward and said, "Hi, I'm Sandy and I shake rather than kiss." "Oh hi Sandy," Hunter said grandly to the young cadet and then frowned. "Shouldn't you be home with your mom?" Sandy and Charlie looked shocked, making Hunter aware he'd committed probably the worst politically incorrect comment in the workplace for the entire month. He threw on a cheesy grin and without apology oozed, "That's an example of Kiwi humor -- trust you were flattered Sandy." Looking more flattened than flattered, Sandy put her hands on her hips, pushing out her breasts and said, "That's okay." They heard Charlie sigh and mutter, "Thank Christ." They crammed into the small ute (pickup), Sandy doing her best to rest up against Charlie to avoid touching the newcomer jerk. But during the next few days the Ice Maiden was thawed by the boyish charm of the New Zealander and soon she was leading against him in the cab although her advances were limited to working with a couple of upper buttons undone when working alone with Hunter. An enjoyable seven rewarding weeks on his 'reciprocal' followed for Hunter. At the end of the second week Hunter wrote to Lee and to her mom and received a great reply from Hilda. She wrote vaguely that everyone was okay without elaborating and included a hilarious piece about her 'hot' sister clipping Hilda's bush and when Gus saw the result for the first time he accused Hilda of launching into an affair with someone. She wrote: 'We had a fearsome row but Lee intervened and Gus accepted her argument that I had a right to try to modernize myself. It's a pity you didn't meet and get to know Janis and you'd been right up her alley (wink, wink). Anyway, the point of telling you this is it's worked just as you predicted. These days I'm walking around with my legs a little bowed while Gus is strutting around like a Hollywood male sex star'. Hunter grinned and thought Hilda was really okay. Pity about her daughter. A postcard arrived from Lee three days later. She didn't say much that interested him. Well, that was unfair: 'Hi, thanks for the letter. Stupidly I'm missing you. We've just won a contract to supply 1370 hairdresser businesses in a buying chain to provide them exclusively with two new streaking colorfast preparations we've developed for blonde hair -- Transatlantic Green and Moscow Mauve that are creating rather a mini-sensation. We have a patent pending on the coloring format that allows maintenance of the streak with ease and accuracy. Cassie arrived home and Mom and I were out of our trees in excitement and as usual dad played it cool. Art and I are going to the movies tonight with some of our friends. Call me before you leave America. I know you leave soon. Lee.' Hunter was surprised she'd only mentioned Art and had not waxed on about him. Where they just friends but with an inclination to get down to it, that is if Art did that sort of thing? Hunter's attention switched at the sight of Sandy walking towards him, smiling. Now she had a great ass although he was aware she was walking to him front on. And then she did an incredible thing: she turned and wriggled her ass at him. It was over in a blink and Hunter was pleased he'd not blinked. What was this? The 25-year-old with a masters in park administration had been looking at him intently recently and at times he felt as though he could feel her increased body heat. But Charlie continued to watch them like a hawk and overseeing Sandy on a short lead as if she were his 17-year-old daughter. This wasn't fair on Sandy -- yeah, right. "Hi -- Charlie and his wife have made a late decision to go to a wedding, leaving within the hour, and we're posted for the weekend team to relieve Antonio and Linda each eight hours over 48 hours because Paul and Hans are down with heavy colds. The forecast is for heavy rain and a temp drop from early this afternoon. Charlie says he'll trust you and I to synch in the eight-hour shifts if you agree to obey my instructions." Hunter looked at Sandy keenly. "Charlie definitely tacked on that last bit?" Sandy colored, bit her lip and nodded. "You lying bitch," he grinned and Sandy wailed that was no way to address a lady. "Wear lipstick and pull out those breasts where I can see them and then I might think of you as a lady," Hunter goaded. Sandy looked down at her shapeless twin mounds and said the problem was the shirt, her regulation shirt. "Steve my boyfriend has no problem with them, I assure you." "Well I know nothing about your Steve's quality of judgment so your reply remains unconvincing." "Stop it Hunter. I'd much rather you admire my brain." Hunter ignored that and said he was willing to team tomorrow and Sunday with her as equal partners. "Not good enough," Sandy said crossly. "I'm teaming with Vijay -- he said he'd work with me if you weren't available or I wanted someone with experience. So it's Vijay." The downpour began next afternoon and at 6:00 Saturday evening a radio message came in to admin and was replayed to the men's dining hall. Big River was up six feet and rising. Minutes later an urgent bulletin was replayed to the room. Antonio and Linda had attempted to wade across to Hope Island as two bears were on the roof of the camping hut messing with the roofing. Antonio was swept away and a search was going on for him. Linda was okay and had managed to make the island. By the time Vijay and Sandy arrived the island was covered in six inches of water so the bears stayed put. Vijay managed to toss a heavy weight on the end of a rope to Linda and she tied it to a tree. When both ends of the rope were tied Vijay began crossing to help Linda back as the channel was by then a torrent. A wall of water swept him off the rope and he was not seen again. Sandy came back from looking unsuccessfully for Vijay, filed the report and noticing the rope was still intact began going across when the rope broke on the tie behind her. She held on and was swept downstream against the island where Linda recovered the half-drowned Sandy. They both went into the hut and were ignored by the bears. The wind was now too strong for the two women to be lifted off by helicopter until the morning, or later possibly later if the wind kept up. The men, who'd gathered grimly around the radio speaker jumped as the assistant admin manager raced in. "Okay guys, let's get down there and see if there's anything we can do -- no, not you Hunter. Sorry but you're a rookie, this operation is for trained men, real men." Hunter swore but was ignored. After the guys ran out he looked at the map of the island area. "Mrs Mandrel," he yelled. The woman came running. "Yes Hunter." "Douglas your husband said the support of the marooned women was a job for real men. Well those guys don't appear to have a plan but this real man does. Load me two containers, one of food for three people for two days, one with stuff women would want if marooned unexpectedly and the third with a radio packed to be watertight. Oh, chuck in steaks for two hungry, probably very hungry, bears." "There are only the two people on the island Hunter." "I'll be the third because someone needs to land the supplies and feed the bears otherwise they may decide to rip right through the roof and dine on Linda and Sandy." "Oh God!" "Don't faint on me Mrs Mandrel and for fuck sake get my supplies on to the porch fast. This is an emergency." Hunter came roaring back wearing a wetsuit, riding a cross-country motorcycle and towing a kayak sliding on the mud. "Oh God you'll drown in that puny boat Hunter," Mrs Mandrel wailed and the two other women looked ready to cry. "If anything has a chance of staying afloat in that raging torrent it's a kayak in experienced hands Mrs Mandrel. All I have to do is to go upstream, aim at the fucking island and close my eyes and hope Big River takes pity on me as I'm an alien." A TV crew arrived but was initially ignored. As Hunter stowed two containers in the front opening and was lashing the third to his back, Mrs Mandrel seized the moment to kiss Hunter and A TV news cameraman caught the moment. "Just you make sure you get back to your farewell dinner on Tuesday night you crazy alien," Mrs Mandrel said proudly, crossing herself heroically for the benefit of the camera and the news reporter. She'd taken the role of a woman sending her son off to war. "Hi ho, off we fucking go," Hunter yelled as he set off. "Come on, after him," the cameraman shouted. "You won't get that lumbering ox through," Mrs Mandrel said looking at the fully featured Toyota 4WD workhorse. "He's gone through the trees. He's all alone now." She then told the boggled eyed young female reporter about the possibility of the women in the hut being eaten by two hungry bears if the mad Kiwi failed in his mission. The reporter called her TV station news chief and asked for a helicopter to be sent in to pick her and the cameraman and to hover over the island. The answer was no and in fury she hit the vehicle with her fists. "They already have a status report," she fumed. "The trees are too high and so are the winds. If we crash we could start a forest fire. Who cares? It's the story that counts?" Mrs Mandrel rushed away and returned with her coat and headscarf. "You're a little bitch being so irresponsible about forest fire prevention but wet trees are difficult to burn. Come on, jump in and I'll guide you to where the other men are including my husband Douglas Mandrel, the assistant admin manager who has taken charge. They'll have floodlights on now and you'll be about to see across the channel to the hut. And if Hunter manages to land they'll have a radio that works." "Christ, the hut is surrounded by water," said the reporter. "Look at the bears on the roof -- camera, camera Zorro. Don't asshole about. This is world-class news. You can worry about lenses, filters, sound, camera shake and all that other crap when we get closer and stop." "Young lady, no blasphemy in this park." "Okay Mrs Mandrel. I have my voice recorder on. Tell me about this guy from New Zealand you think is stacked with old fashion heroism and has found his perfect girl but she has spurned him." Mrs Mandrel began talking her head off, keeping an eye upriver for the tiny beam of light from Hunter's headlamp that would identify his position; that is if he remained upright. She told Milly the reporter about that as well. "For fuck sake Zorro, move your ass. Get out and set up your biggest camera on the bank, pointing upstream." "But the bears?" Zorro said. "They're not eating anyone. They are clowning in the spotlights to the people over here." "Please Milly, language. How is it your man with the unlikely name of Zorro is so obedient and doesn't smack you one?" "Jo is my husband Mrs Mandrel." "Oh no wonder you two work so beautifully as a team." Mrs Mandrel saw it first. "There's the light, Hunter lives," she screamed. Downstream her husband, leader of the inert team from forest HQ said, scratching his head, "That's the voice of my wife and what's Hunter got to do with our dramatic rescue?" "We are not actually engaged in effecting a rescue boss." A blast came from Douglas Mandrel. "Shut up James, you're only the lowest form of life in this forest, a park ranger. CHAPTER 5 Hunter's radio call was replayed to Douglas's 'command' vehicle. "Hunter Macdonald to base. I have managed to crash on to the island, with only bruises and scratches. Sorry but kayak is wrecked. All supplies are intact. Will lug them down to unpack half of the meat and throw it to the bears. Then will provide relief to the two stranded women. This is Hunter. Over and out." "This is base. Thank you Hunter. Job well done." Hunter tossed up the meat in the direction of the bears -- he couldn't see them -- and then went inside, finding the two women clutched together on the top bunk and almost asleep. They shrieked and leapt to the floor when they saw him sloshing through a foot of water. Linda called out with restraint, "Welcome, have you brought food?" whereas Sandy launched herself at Hunter, rubbing her crotch up and down his leg and she rained his face with kisses and lavish licks. She was on fire. "I want you, I want you. I've been so scared," she whispered. Linda pulled out the radio from a sealed box with the things that had arrived with Hunter and called Park HQ and asked for the administrator in charge. She was switched through to the acting head of rescue. "Douglas, get those lights off." "This is Douglas Mandrel, acting head of search and rescue. No Linda. We'll need to keep an eye on you. Over." "Like hell you will. Do you want me to come over and smack you one? The lights are agitating the bears. Hunter has fed them and they'll go to sleep soon if you turn the lights out, you idiot. Go back to Park HQ for the remainder of the night. The water level is dropped a couple of inches inside the hut. If someone is awake we'll call in on the hour every hour with a status report. The wind has not I repeat not abated. " "This is Douglas Mandrel, acting head of search and rescue. I think not Linda. We must maintain a watching brief. Over." "Turn out the lights asshole and then stay wet and shivering if you wish. You can't do anything for us. Hunter has done that. What is the status of Vijay and Antonio?" "This is Douglas Mandrel, acting head of search and rescue. Vijay is still missing. He was washed away by that wall of water. He's a powerful swimmer and may be up a tree on one of the mid-river islands. Downstream residents found Antonio on the riverbank, barely conscious and with a broken arm. He's okay. Well, there's nothing more we can do here. I'll leave a couple of rangers here with rifles with spotlights in case the bears began really ripping off the roof. We're returning to base until coming back to supervise the chopper lift-off around dawn. Over." "What, to lift off the bears?" Douglas cackled with laughter but did not answer. "This is Linda Mitchell, Park Ranger, over and out." Linda walked over to the top double bunk where Hunter and Sandy lay nude under the bedding and cuddling. "Well you two have gotten yourself comfortable," she said frostily. "Come and join us Linda, you need to be up here for your own safety," Hunter smirked, taking a breast into his mouth. "I'm married," snapped Linda. "We won't tell and if you don't tell, who'll ever know?" Sandy said and added convincingly, "We won't feel embarrassed doing this if you join us." Linda took all of five seconds to think about the offer before ripping open her shirt and then shedding all clothing. At dawn they awoke to the sound of a chopper arriving. Hunter dressed and ran outside and tossed the last of the meat to the bears. Media people covered the bank opposite. Someone yelled "Hunter the Alien" and he waved. Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl Sandy was winched off in a harness first and landed on the other side to a rousing cheer. Linda followed and then Hunter who noticed the rescued women were being interviewed. "Hunter, hero of the forest," Alicia Mantel screamed, running to wrap her arms around him, after knocking her husband aside when he'd attempted to preclude unauthorized entry into the area reserved for the media. The entire media rushed Hunter, leaving Sandy and Linda looking on bemused. As soon as Alicia had been filmed and photograph with him, Hunter smacked her butt affectionately and told her to join the stalwart of the land rescue team, her husband Douglas. He then refused to talk until park rangers Linda Mitchell and Sandy Jones were standing with him, arm in arm. The media tolerantly allowed Hunter to present his spiel about how there were no heroes, only park rangers and administrators who'd worked as a team to achieve their objectives. "'Sadly it appears we are one man down missing." "No, Douglas yelled. We're just receiving a report he walked into a police team eight miles downstream just two minutes ago." "Thank Christ for that -- all present and accounted for. The chief would have kicked ass had we lost anyone," Hunter said, waving his hand in victory. "Sir, where is New Zealand?" "Young man, shame on you. Next question." "Hunter, as an alien why did you bother to save Americans?" "Get supplies to them don't you mean and feed the bears? Well people are people and that was good enough for me but my late grandfather used to tell me about the times during WW2 when the Americans arrived to help provide us with cover when the Imperial Japanese Forces were moving towards New Zealand and Australia and the islands north of us." "What is WW2?" "A significant war young lady that occurred a long, long time after the American Civil War that you guys cherish the memory of so much." Milly the TV reporter said, "We captured you on film as you left on your near-suicidal mission in a kayak with the personable park admin head chef Alicia Mandel crying and kissing you and then crossing herself over you. You are only a temporary worker. Why do you think she did that?" "Mrs Mandel knew two park female rangers were trapped in that hut by rising water and above them were two very hungry bears. One of those women is married and the other probably less than a year away from marrying. I had to do something so tried to do it, that's all. No big deal." "Is ranger work too dangerous for females?" "I like to think if those bears had torn through the roof and dropped in those women would have kicked ass, sending those bears out through the door. The bears' names are Randy and Sally and in a showdown would have known who was boss because Linda has weighed and inoculated them since they were pups." "Don't you mean cubs?" "Oh yeah, you'll have to excuse my ignorance. That's why I'm here as an international corps trainee. You Americans are amazing running programs like that. Very generous and very inspirational." "Oh really?" "Yeah. It will make an amazing difference to world peace and international understanding." "Oh really?" "Yeah blondie. America has some of the world's greatest forest parks. I find them as equally attractive as your fabulous women. Is that another question blondie?" "Yes indeed, we heard on the grapevine you are returning home with a broken heart, that you came to America to visit a young American client you spent three days out on the wilds leading her into all sorts of wonderful wildlife adventures." "Who told you that?" "Alicia Mandrel here at the park. She told me you are returning home without your sweetheart." "Well, Mrs Mandrel doesn't lie and I told her than in confidence one night when crying over my beer. Perhaps being a woman she misunderstood the male meaning of confidence. Well, I lost out to the other guy because my sweetheart apparently decided I have a roving eye, no steady job, am inarticulate, am a sucker for adventures and like fucking a woman so she thinks there is no desperate need to marry me." "We'll have to bleep that word. Was she right? "It's not for me to answer -- it's her life and she's needs to choice the right guy to life her life with." "Where will I find her Hunter?" "Somewhere in Illinois. That's all I'm saying. Now if you guys will excuse me I must get these two tired women into bed. Good night America or even if this clip only makes local TV good night local Americans." The camera lights switched off and everyone fell about laughing at the possible meaning in that final comment that Hunter was about to take both women to bed. Next morning at 6:00, with the authority of the chief ranger, Douglas and Alicia took Hunter to a distant regional airport where they breakfasted with him before he flew to LA to begin his return home early. At LA Hunter decided against calling Lee to say goodbye. Instead he called his mom that was he was on the way home and she said, surprising him, she'd seen him on TV. In a bar waiting for his flight he saw an edited rerun of his interview the previous day and then laughed along with bartenders and other patrons when the news reader said that station alone had received calls from more than 100 women claiming to be the woman who had spurned Hunter and would be interviewed if offered enough money. At Auckland Airport next morning Hunter walked into a sizeable media blockade and that press conference was telecast live on breakfast TV. Under intense questioning he openly admitted it was true the national park he'd worked at did not have bears called Sally and Randy and it was board policy that all wild animals were not touched by anyone, including park rangers. A pushy voluptuous reporter in over tight clothes was into him like a terrier. Her name was Liz Gee: "What else about that harrowing incident was a lie Hunter?" "Nothing -- you would have seen it recorded on TV." Liz: "Why did you lie and give the bears names of Randy and Sally?" "To make Americans feel good about their wildlife." Liz: "This Sandy, she was a very cute chick. Did you and she...um?"" "No comment." Liz: "What about the senior ranger?" "Good God Liz, she was married." A radio journalist called Leonie: "This girl in Illinois. What if she comes running after you to bask in the publicity. You know how American women are?" "Well she's not like that and if she does come here begging for forgiveness she can kiss my ass and return home on the next flight." Liz: "Oh Hunter our national hero. You can't be serious?" "Listen you cynic, a guy will take only so much from a woman and I've had it up to here. What are you doing for lunch?" Liz: "Er, having it with you Mr Macdonald. The studio would love me to accept. I'll do anything to get an exclusive story." "If you are expecting sex you'll be disappointed. I have my image to rebuild." Liz: "Certainly Mr Macdonald. Just a little groping perhaps in a private room. I'll not mark you." Hunter sighed, "Liz, my offer is cancelled. Goodbye. This interview is over is over. Thanks everyone, I did love America and most of the Americans I met." Hunter then called Julia in the northern part of the South Island. "Hi, do you want me back?" "Oh darling, how wonderful to have you home. Yes, mama wants you back you poor jilted boy." "Perhaps." "What? We've been watching you on satellite TV, rejected and heartbroken that Lee doesn't want you." "Obviously you did and I admit painting that picture. But I say perhaps it's not over." "You're confusing me. Exactly what do you mean?" "It was my last shot. I wanted her to feel guilty and aware of what she was in danger of throwing away." "Baby, you a great and even I would throw a leg over you if you allowed it, but you're still not that good." "I'm not saying I'm good and this isn't about me. It's all about Lee and she had to be made aware she was at the brink and she had to know I had thrown down the challenge." Julia spluttered. "But isn't that telling her what to think?" "Not at all. I'm failing to get through to you. It's simply me pushing her to think." "Oh I see. Yes I think I do although it's almost too subtle to me. You don't want her to drift through into marriage without forcing herself into a final and ultimate review." "That's it." "I'll call Lee and explain it to her in a way she can clearly understand." "That's kind of you Julia but keep out of it. She would have seen me on TV saying she's rejected me and know that's not true because she has avoided making the decision. Right now, I reckon, she's in deep thought and I know the decision she'd take." "What, which one -- you of course?" "I'm saying nothing. It's Lee's decision." Julia snorted and said he was so damn frustrating to have as a friend. "Yes, we want you back and will keep you on through winter on reduced salary. You can do maintenance." "Don't bother. Wealthy Americans will be coming in droves -- men with wives or girlfriends or more likely buddies. Your reservation book will be full before the end of next week for the next two years I promise you. Have the calls started?" "Well it's almost midwinter and we received two bookings today and that's most unusual. Usually we only get calls from agencies at this time of year wondering if we are still in business." Hunter told Julia to listen him. "Start advertising for more accomplished hunters to act as guides, taking your establishment number up to ten. No more as you must remain a boutique business to remain attractive to real sportsmen prepared to pay big money to stay away from the crowd." "I agree but we are a little stretched for cash as the chopper is having a major overhaul." "Talk to David about admitting me as a partner, I have a couple of grand to spare." "Sorry darling, that's peanuts." "Ooops I meant to say a couple of hundred thousand grand. My partnership share in my business consultancy in Christchurch has been taken up and my money is in my bank. Talk to David or better still bring him through to Nelson with you to pick me up off the 4 o'clock flight this afternoon. Book us into good accommodation and we can talk over dinner." "Right, either way I'll be at the airport at 4:00." "Either way, exactly what does that mean?" Julia said she was attempting to express herself in the difficult way Lee did. "Get used to it partner. Will I or won't I arrive at the airport with David? Is the partnership proposal on or off? Do I stay in a hotel with you for a night of possible impropriety or do we drive through the evening and arrive home late? Exercise your mind Hunter Macdonald just like you have overstretched my comprehension ever since we first met." The call was cut and Hunter pulled his phone away from his ear and looked at it almost bewildered. Had that been Julia speaking, the woman he'd been using as his anchor in this fucked-up world? He sat down thoughtfully, a little confused. Julia told Hunter after their rather excited reunion at the airport that David wanted a couple of weeks to think about the possibility of admitting David as a partner. "He's uncertain about your staying stamina and ethical standards?" Hunter shot an astonished look at Julia and grinned, catching her slight smirk. "God, you've learnt to tease." Concentrating on her driving through the rugged country towards the Sound Julia said that after she'd received Hunter's long letter about her relationship with David she took David tramping and during lunch deep bush talked to him about improving the way they communicated and related emotionally. "Something happened," Julia confessed. "It was as if we both knew we had to accept personal responsibility to move our marriage forward and plug the gaps." "Lovely words, you should be writing." They drove along in silence for a while, Hunter almost dropping off, when she said, "I'm at Chapter 9 on my maiden novel." "Oh Julia, that's wonderful. I knew you had it in you." The car picked up speed and Hunter tensed in his seat, whites of his eyes showing. Julia began signing the song, 'I Feel Pretty' and as she finished a couple of verses the car slowed to a safer speed. "Somehow I feel happier, more content and more energized." "You have freed your spirit, with David's help." Sixty heartbeats later Julia murmured, "You're so right Hunter, again." The house was in darkness when they arrived home. Usually Hunter slept in the single men's quarters over the huge boatshed and workshop but Julia said she wanted him living in the house a few days to keep David under pressure that he had a major decision to make." "No, that's not fair." "David thinks better when under pressure." Hunter said "Oh," and followed Julia inside. He was almost asleep when someone slipped into his bed. His nose told him the intruder was female. "I'm drifting off to sleep." "That's okay, I'll work on it at dawn and return to my own bed before mom and dad wake," said Julia and David's youngest. Hunter fell asleep with Felicity making little kisses down his back. * * * By midday next day -- Sunday -- seven more bookings with credit card deposits had been received directly or advised by booking agents. At lunch while Julia was looking steely-eyed at Felicity fawning over Hunter and diverting to look at the patient smile of her eldest Milly, who stretched every time Hunter looked her way, Julia sighed and wondered if either of Anna's children were Hunter's. Anna had screamed in excitement earlier than morning when told Hunter had arrived back home and yelled that she, Michael and the two children would boat in for dinner. Michael operated as a commercial fisherman and boat repairer at the small settlement fifteen miles away near the mouth of the Sound. Julia wondered if this promiscuous behavior by her daughters, now all three of them involved, would end when Hunter entered a more stable relationship with a woman. Sighing she concluded probably not because young females these days seem to regard sexual restraints were limited only by personal desires and preferences. The concept of morality seemed foreign to them although they did appear ready to switch when talking to older adults about sex; it was so confusing for her. Julia's mother had warned her about Hunter: 'Watch him like a hawk Julia around my granddaughters. There's something about him that attracts women and I don't think it's looks and his body. It's certainly not charm because he lacks it. Somehow he seems to have combined laidback sexuality and aloofness into a near-lethal mix'. Julia's mother had been a pharmacist so Julia accepted mom would know what she was talking about. Julia fancied she had that same mix when she was young but her mom had simply called her 'a stupid young slut'. Funny that and perhaps it explained why males had all the fun. Earlier that morning David had floored her with his comment when she told him, in almost total disgust, that Felicity had gone to Hunter's bed during the night and Julia had found Felicity's panties and two condoms in the bathroom trashcan. "Ah, checking the trashcans now are we Inspector Julia Camp of Pungarehu Sounds Hunting Safaris?" David became sympathetic and then said, "She has to learn from someone dear and I'd rather it be Hunter than any other guy I know." Julia swallowed, wondering where her outrage had gone. David continued: "I went into Hunter at 5:00 and my little darling was there, a towel stuffed between her legs, no sheet covering her and smiling so angelic. I woke Hunter and we went fishing." "To lecture him about morality." "No, to discuss the deal. I'll make the announcement over lunch. He's back asleep because of the traveling and whatever else he has been doing has taken a lot out of him." "I-I can't believe I'm hearing this." David grinned that told her something amazing. "Your mother warned me when I told your parents I wanted to marry you that you had been a young slut and could easily revert. I almost pissed myself but smothering my laugh I said gravely, 'I want to marry Julia Mrs Beggs because she'd great fun, looks great and has energy to burn but it's her indomitable spirit I'm most attracted to as I intend continuing with my epic Boy's Own adventures and know she'll cope when left along at home and when kids come along. I'm not at all interested in her past track record Mrs Beggs -- I want what I see and know now'." Julia rushed at David, wailing. "Shhhh., You'll wake our young trainee slut," he grinned, pushing Julia's noisy mouth into his chest. CHAPTER 6 Hunter docked his new jetboat against the jetty on a Saturday evening, looked up to the house and grinned. Lee had arrived, unannounced. Why else would the women -- Julia and her three daughters -- be in best dresses and jumping up and down in excitement? More confirming evidence: Julia was biting her knuckles, David was wearing his best jeans and a white shirt and Julia had even managed to knot a tie around the non-conformist. They were dressed as if ready to entertain the US President. Hunter lifted up the 40 inch head of a trophy deer and handed it to his client to hold above her head he jumped on to the jetty and took her photograph. The hard face of the 48-year-old German book publisher cracked into almost a lovely smile, assisted by the family on the nearby balcony clapping. "Hurry, hurry up here Hunter," Julia shouted, voice thick with emotion. "Can't, I have to wash down Wingfoot after taking Madam von Stein to her chalet." "We'll do that for you Hunter," said one of the guides Guy who came out of the boatshed followed by another guide Tony. "Do you mind?" Guy whispered to the client who spoke perfect English. The insatiable traveler-hunter smiled and said, "You two clean up here, shower and change into fresh clothes and join me in my chalet for dinner. My maid Gertrude may decide to join us." Grinning, Hunter went up to the house and yelled, "Honey I'm home." There was no reply. He walked into the lounge and pretended to be stunned. Lee, in a white dress and hair piled high, was waiting for him. His 'family' was sitting around in chairs, grinning. "I don't believe it, my dream come true." That was partly true but Hunter had never stopped believing Lee would come to him, eventually. It was early spring, moving towards the mid-fall the wedding date he'd long had in mind to be held in Illinois. "Hello darling, I've come to take you home to a wedding, our wedding, that's if you'll accept my proposal." Julia screamed into tears and her married daughter moved in to comfort her. Lee and Hunter hugged tightly but kissed modestly. "Okay if I give you my answer sometime during the next two days?" "Yes of course," Lee said bravely while the other women in the room groaned. "Did you bring hunting clothes?" "No, sorry. I just didn't think." "Borrow mine," yelled Julia and her three daughters almost in unison. Lee and Hunter grinned at them. "David, if you don't mind Lee has come all this way for my answer. Could you take my booking on Monday, a two-nighter? Lee and I will walk out from here in the morning and spent the night on Duggan's Ridge where at dawn, as the sun begins to shine on to our campsite I intend giving her my answer." Looking bewildered, David said, "But you never gave up on your belief Lee would come here. You must know your answer." Lee and the other women looked at David in astonishment. "How did you know daddy?" "It's something women wouldn't know or at least wouldn't acknowledge Anna. When men sail long distances or trek long distances alone they develop their minds. I was able to periodically confirm my growing belief in Hunter's comment whenever we talked about Lee and all he would say was, "Don't worry, she has an agenda; she knows what she wants." I began to 'read' from his voice what he was thinking, or at least confirm he was unshaken in his belief Lee would come for him." Lacks Charm But Wins the Girl "Is that true darling?" Almost shyly Hunter looked at Lee and said, "It's the truth. I had the feeling David was on to me." "But you had this stupid belief it was my decision to make and you would not interfere." "It wasn't stupid; it was how I thought it had to be." "Of course darling, it wasn't stupid at all." Julia asked, "At what point did you know you'd choose Hunter over Art?" "The moment I met Hunter again, in America. But I dug my toes in and decided he must make his claim." "But he didn't." "No. But I began slow capitulation when watching the TV news report with mom and dad and Aunt Janis and Uncle Ted when Hunter and the two female rangers were hoisted off the island. I was excited that he had been accomplishing things out in the wilds and felt jealous because the two women he'd rescued obviously adored him and some of the female journalists were acting unprofessionally with him. Then he made up those things about what I thought of him, his sweetheart who'd dumped him for a more conventional ho-hum man." "Then Aunt Janis said, "He's lying just as he did saying the national park had named a bear Randy." "Mom told her to shut up and listen." "After the clip finished I asked Aunt Janis why had she alleged Hunter was lying." "She said, 'I know men honey' and ignored Uncle Ted's nasty remark. She claimed she had to just look at a man to see he's lying." Lee continued. 'I awoke in the morning convinced Aunt Janis was correct: Hunter didn't believe I had rejected him. I ground on with Art and his parents and mom pressuring me to set a wedding date. Then right out of the blue dad said to me, "Have you booked your ticket yet? Confused I asked where to and he told me where and walked off, leaving me flabbergasted. He didn't say to New Zealand, he said to his future son. Art was in the house greasing up to mom so I knew dad wasn't talking about Art. My capitulation was complete and here I am." Hunter said great story Lee and kissed her and the women around them wept while David thrust his hands into his pockets and said crap, he hated it when women turn gooey-eyed. * * * In the bush next day they walked a track, Lee being asked to set a pace that was comfortable for her. Lee had been swimming and bike riding all summer so was in great shape. "You're in great shape and had me near legless last night." Lee cooed, "Did you like it darling, I had so much to give." "You were wonderful and that was why I told you unofficially I'd return to America with you to marry." "Yes, and thank you. I had so many stars in front of my eyes I scarcely knew where I was and who I was. Mom and dad wish to pay for your immediate family to attend including your brother." "That's mighty civil of them and I'm proud of them for offering." "Offering?" "Mom and dad don't accept charity." "But it isn't charity. Oh gawd, you pig-headed Kiwis. Mom will be distraught." "Use salesmanship. Suggest to mom they accept providing your parents will accept mom and dad paying their fares and for you sister and her boyfriend to come out here within eighteen months." "My sister doesn't have a boyfriend yet." "She will -- she looks great in that photo I saw he and if she fucks as well as you do she'll have one of the tom cats stepping forward to claim her." "Tom cats...oh. Oh you disgusting man. You didn't mention you and me returning here. Where will we live?" "Where would you like to live?" "Oh no, we are lining up for confrontation No.2, aren't we. I have a career..." "And I don't?" Lee flared but caught herself in time. "Give me a few hours to think about it. "Fine." "I'll try to be creative like you were before leaving America when you gave those two nation-wide hunting magazines interviews with different slants about high adventure safaris in the alps out of Pungarehu Sound. You secured free publicity worth tens of thousands of dollars for David and Julia." "And me, I'm a 12.5% partner with agreement to go up to 50% if I can get my hands on more money." "I have money." Hunter ignored that for the moment as they began walking up the high incline, the effort taking most of their breath. Just below the top of the highest point of the ridge they settled into their campsite. "Before I accept money from you I wish to know if we marry will you be prepared to give up your career and live here?" "My answer is yes, without question." "Good, you can become a guide. Many women request a female guide." "I'd really love to do that but what about our children?" "Julia was a guide and remained a guide throughout her early child-rearing years." "Oh God, your New Zealand women are tough...but then so are many American women. My answer is yes." "Right, let my cook dinner before the sun goes down. Beef stew, eaten from the tin with a spoon, the hot can held in your gloved hand and followed by tinned pears." "Good, I can cope with that. I know I can always play ladies back at base." * * * "Lee, wake up. Lee, wake up." Lee struggled to wake up, wondering if it had all been a dream, but she had the feeling of having been thoroughly fucked so perhaps it wasn't. The shape of a man's head was between her and the first golden flare of the dawn far out on the horizon of the Tasman Sea. It could only be Hunter. "Lee Lincoln, will you marry me, Hunter Macdonald, and be my loving wife, remain beautiful for me for the remainder of our married life, keep me comfortable and safe, fuck with me often, rarely make me wear a tie, promise you'll go to America with me every second year and bear us three wonderful children?" "Yes Hunter Macdonald, I'll marry you and meet as many of those requirements as I can. Kiss me and come into my sleeping bag. This is the happiest day of my life. Ohmigod, just look at that sunrise; I can see why you wanted to propose up here. I thought it would be good but this is heavenly. I'm glad this is going to be my new country." THE END