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Just a Crush

By: NataleeF



This is my first story so please be kind  constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you and enjoy!



My name is Natalee. I was a senior at Oakwood High, and like every other teenager, forming ideas of colleges from far away to accept my offer in wanting to attend their campus for the upcoming year. It's not like I hate where I practically spent my whole life existence. I felt like I was suffocating, I wanted to see the world, I wanted to live. 

I think that's why my main focus was to do well in school, so that no matter where I wanted to go, I could. Not like that much mattered, I was a good student. Good grades came naturally to me and I knew I was fortunate. Constantly hearing around the time of finals, about all the stress and pressure from my fellow class mates. Knowing that if I all I wanted to do was cram the night before I could easily get an A. Not that I ever did that, but I could. My memory was corky and I remembered the littlest things that not many people could or simply would just oversee. 

As I was strolling home my books in hand. I couldn't help but notice how the air was crisp and at just the tip on every trees leaves was the colors of an orange or yellow. I loved Fall, I think it was the colors mostly. The deep reds and the rusty orange, nothing could replicate the colors and beauty the tall trees could. The weather was just an added bonus that came with it. Hoodie weather as I like to call it. The feeling of just being comfortable and not having to see others parading around with barely anything on. Because all though our Winters were cold, I felt the Summers were just as hot. 

Like every day, I walked right past Evan's on my way home. I didn't have to go out of my way, which if I had to I probably would. He lived right down the street from me, always has, there wasn't ever a time where we hadn't been neighbors. Since I can remember Evan had always been the charmer. Not that he had to, his looks alone never went unnoticed from the girls. He grew into his final height of almost 6 ft., dark brown hair, a slightly darker olive complexion, and had the most beautiful green eyes I think I've ever seen someone possess. Not to mention his infamous boyish grin. He got away with pretty much everything with that grin of his and he knew it. Not just girls but even adults couldn't see past his charm. I remember plenty of times him bragging to his my brothers how teachers let him get extensions on this or make up that. I never understood why though. The work he did do was always A worthy. I think it mostly had to do with the fact he was always doing something with friends, or girls. In a way I kind of envied him. I went out occasionally with friends but I was always committed more to school work than friends.

As I approached his house, I looked just like every time I walked past. Hoping to see his car in the driveway or at least in the garage under that beater he and his Dad started rebuilding about 2 years ago. I haven't seen him lately. He graduated about 2 years before I did. Attended a University close to home and was planning on expanding his Dad's mechanic shop to Colorado. I remember him visiting his Mother there since I could remember. I knew that he missed her and that partly, besides the change of scenery, it was to be closer to her. 

Our community is quaint I guess you could say, everyone pretty much knew everybody. My Mother was a single parent to 3 kids. The oldest being Mark who was the same age as Evan. They were pretty much inseparable growing up, always getting into trouble and chasing after girls. Then there was Trevor, only about a year older than me. We had similar friends through school but he was much more comfortable being around a small group unlike our eldest sibling. Who was always attending a party or seen hanging out with a group of people. 

My Mother was always working. Partly because she had to, but also because she loved her job as a Head Nurse at the Children's Hospital. Our Dad passed in a freak construction accident when I was 7. He fell through a roof and instantly broke his back when he landed on the latter below. It was hard on all of us, even Evan. Who had also grown close to my Dad. Always coming over and helping him and my brothers on some wood work that always seemed to be a side project for my Dad. So it was to no surprise that after the incident it only made Evan's presence around the house become more often than it already was. I liked having him around he always made all of us feel better. Each in our own way, while also understanding a sense of what our pain was in losing him. 

As I walked past, the garage door was open and I saw Evan's dad underneath the piece of junk above him as he was fumbling around with the tools spread out next to him. I walked up to say Hi. Because like my brothers who were also very attached to the other male figure in their lives, I was too. He reminded me of my Father, always working with his hands, easy to talk to, and always protective of my brothers and I. I also think it was an unsaid bond with him and my Father that he looked after us, for they were close just like their children were. 

"Hey Mr. Bianchi, I see you've started on that thing again." I said standing a few feet away from where he was on the side of the car.

He rolled out and under sitting up wiping his hands with a greasy rag that laid in his lap. He grinned looking up at me. I could see where Evan got it from. His Father was probably just as much of trouble as he was growing up in his prime. His features were similar compared to his son's. His boyish features more so that of a rugged mature man. Whose life definitely displayed on his wrinkled features and his salt and pepper hair. No wonder even after him and Evan's Mother divorced he remarried to Angie. Who he says is his last chance at love because without her it didn't make sense. Him and Evan's Mother married young and later had Evan. They tried to work it out for Evans sake. But I think Colorado had more of her heart than Mr. Bianchi ever could. One thing Evan got from his Mother was that he too loved Colorado.

"I have to make it look like I've done at least something for when Evan comes home. You know he would complain that we don't have to do everything together on this car." He said chuckling.

I knew he was right. Evan had more patience for all the minor details when it came to that car, letting his dad doing the basics and him going back over it and perfecting it to the best it possibly could.

"How's the expansion going?" I asked

"It's getting there. He seems to be really focused lately. More serious than I've seen him in a long time. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet." Knowing exactly what he meant by Evan's care free nature. But If Evan wanted something bad enough he worked hard on it and got it. Like many things of Evan, I admired that also. He knew how to be care free but also knew when to be serious and hard working.

"It will be good to see him home, I know Mark has really missed him." I did to in all honesty but I wasn't going to say it to him. Even though I'm sure he probably already knew by how I always use to follow the boys around trying to hang out with them. Especially where ever Evan was.

"Yea it will be good to have him around for a while. There really isn't much else he could do there at the moment. I know he enjoys spending time with Sandy. But the shop hasn't been the same without him here."

I knew Mr. Bianchi had always hoped Evan would stay and help run the one in Oakwood right along beside him. But just like me he craved change. Many times we would talk about all the places we wanted to see, where we wanted to go. His love for all the little beautiful things matched mine. He loved his Father and they were always close. He chose to stay and not move to Colorado not only because of not wanting to uplift from school and his childhood friends, but because of him. His Mother also approved of young boys adolescent being more controlled by a respectful male figure growing up. Working at his Dad's shop did help some with Evan's running around town too. Not only did he enjoy working on cars but it also gave him a sense of responsibility. My brother Mark worked there too. I know Evan and him were in the talks of possibly having Mark joining him and being a partner.

As if they knew we were talking about them Mark and Evan came pulling up in the driveway in Mark's pick up. When the engine stopped both got out and Evan retrieved his duffle bag that was in the bed. My heart fluttered its usual flutter that it always seemed to do when ever Evan was around. And I couldn't help but notice how his shirt raised just enough to show a sneak peak of his well-toned stomach as he reached in the back. His bare chest was definitely not foreign to my eyes, but it never got old to look at or admire. 

"Thought I would stop over here first before I took him to the shop to see how things are running and to get his car." Mark said to Mr. Bianchi. 

I thought to myself how that month seemed too long. Not that it was unusual for him to be gone that long every time he went there or to see his Mother. He normally spent his Summers there also. But because I missed him, he was just as much of a friend to me as he was to my brothers.

I was wearing my favorite pair of dark blue skinny jeans, my black Uggs, and my navy High School pull over hoodie. My dark Auburn hair was down today curled naturally just slightly at the ends. I usually wore my hair up, I was more convenience over caring. I wore little make up if at all. Today, all that was added to my morning routine was some eyeliner and mascara with a little bit of lip balm. My cheeks are naturally rosy and I've always been complemented on my clear complexion. So there was no use of cover up. I stand at 5'5 and have a slim figure. My breasts could be bigger for my taste but they looked well on my frame. Any bigger and I would look fake. 

Evan smiled that smile that I often day dream about and gave his Dad a hug. Then pulled me in his strong arms, wrapping me up, and lifting me as if I weighed nothing. 

"Natty! Who would have known I would miss you too!" He said teasing me. I struggled against him. Knowing I was lying to myself, I loved every minute like this, being this close to him.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that!?" As he set me back down to Earth. I didn't mean it, I love the fact he has a nick name for me. I think he knew it to, but our playful banter consists of slightly annoying one another.

"Angie is making dinner tonight, I know your Mom is working late again. So I better see all of you at the table tonight around 7 no buts." Mr. Bianchi said sternly pointing at Mark and I. We both nodded our heads Angie's cooking was to die for and we always made it a point to enjoy at least once a week usually on Sunday's. But since it was Evan's welcoming it would have to be a Friday.

They all started to huddle around that car of theirs and I decided to head home and get whatever work I had done, so I could have my weekend open. I walked in quickly kicking off my boots and taking off my hoodie. Entered my room and dropped my books on the bed. I looked in the long mirror at my reflection. I've always been a tom boy. My wardrobe usually consisted of jeans and an old Rock band T-shirt that once belonged to my Dad. My mom always said how he was a "typical" Rocker in High School and College. He had tons of shirts to show for it. Anywhere from Led Zeppelin to Tom Petty, he was there and his shirts were his souvenirs. I felt close to him wearing his clothes that were always slightly a little too big on me. I think my brothers didn't mind that I took Dad's clothes as my own, seeing how they were a little bit older and knew him a little better than I did. I wasn't bad looking I got attention from boys at school. I never really gave much notice back, maybe because I was too focused, or maybe because they weren't Evan. I had been talking to this boy named Travis he was new this year. I shared a couple classes with him. We did a science project together and we got along really well. He was really nice and easy to talk to. That's why when he asked if he could take me to see the old black and white movie at the Drive-In I didn't recline his offer. Our town did Drive-In's as a yearly thing around this time of year. Usually black and white it seems the whole town went, to watch the movie and to catch up with everyone. Now that Evan was in town I couldn't help to think I wish he could take me instead of Travis. Fat chance, I'm sure he will call up one of the girls he graduated with or go with my brothers and check out the girls there. 

We arrived at Mr. Bianchi on time. The boys rushed to the table as I veered to the kitchen to see if Angie needed help.

"Hey Ang you need any help?" I asked.

"If you could just carry out this we should be good." As she handed me a bowl of her famous cheesy potatoes and they were Evan's favorite. I knew she made them especially for him. I walked to the table setting the potatoes down and sat at my seat. Which so happened to be next to Evan. As I sat down Evan leaned over, his elbows on the table with his hands clasped together in front of his face and softly spoke at the side of his mouth

"Why did you put your hair up? I like how it looked earlier with it down."

I elbowed and him and said, "Since when do you care what my hair looks like?" 

"You always wear your hair up, I'm just telling you as a compliment." 

My cheeks heated and I was hoping he didn't catch the effect he had on me."Oh, so I get the privilege of a famous Evan Bianchi compliment? Now I thought those were only saved for the girls you were interested in?" I teased him playfully with my hand to my chest. 

"I know which is why you should be lucky." He grinned at me playfully. I knew he was joking but I wish he wasn't I wish he looked at me as a girl and not as Mark's little sister. I was okay looking. I didn't have the fake blonde hair and tan skin like he usually went for. But I had natural beauty, I can guarantee that if we ever had a late night I wouldn't wake up beside him looking like a melted Barbie.

Dinner went well mostly business talk between the boys. I sat there and watched them talk most of the night. As it started to die down, conversation was directed towards the Drive-in.

"So going with anyone special sweetie?" Angie directed the question towards me. I slightly blushed and directed my eyes towards my fork which was now playing with the left over contents on my plate. I didn't feel like answering the question with all four protective males in my life sitting at the table.

"I hear that Travis boy asked you. You know the new kid in town?" Trevor interrupted grinning as I eyed him down in my mind your own business stare. 

"Yea he asked. We are going to meet Cara, Steph, and Mike up there." Knowing that Cara and Trevor talk and do the occasional flirting I should have guessed she would tell him. Not to be mean but as a way of conversation. 

"Well if he knows what's good for him he won't try anything stupid knowing we all will be there." Mark said. Referring to Evan and Trevor. Evan chuckled knowing Mark was serious and I was annoyed. It was hard for me to go on dates knowing that I had overly protective brothers who tried to control my life. Not that I really wanted to date but if I did it either had to be secretly or discussed. There was no easy way for them to except that their little sister wasn't so little anymore. 

It was Saturday night the boys had left early and I was waiting on Travis to pick me up. I had on a tight black long sleeve V-neck and dark blue skinny jeans and black slip on Vans. With a necklace my Dad gave to me for my Birthday before he passed. It was my favorite and I wore it all the time. I studied my reflection, I chose a light pink lip balm to show off my full lips and wore my hair down to surround my heart shape face. I had to admit I looked pretty good.

I came down the stairs just as the doorbell rang. As I opened the door Travis stood there his hand instinctively going through his shaggy light brown hair. He was wearing jeans and a light grey zip up hoodie. He was cute in an adorable way whereas Evan was more of a ruggedly handsome kind of way.

"You ready?" He said looking down at me. He was a little bit shorter than Evan but he still seemed to tower over me.

"Yes let's go." I replied, as I smiled up at him.

I grabbed my keys and some blankets. We were going to find a place on the lawn instead of sit in his car so we could all watch together.

We parked the car right next to Mike, Steph, and Cara and got out. Saying our hellos we made our way to a spot where we could set down the blankets. 

"I have a little surprise to make this night even better." Mike said pulling out a couple of water bottles out of his coat.

"Oh no not water?" I said mockingly 

"It's Grey Goose thank you very much, and just for that you aren't getting any!" Mike replied.

"Why do I care I don't drink?" I smiled knowing that he was joking and that his fun was not my fun. Everyone knew that.

Travis wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led the way. I could tell by the way Cara was looking at me that she likes the idea of Travis and I being together. We set up a spot and just as we are sitting down I spot Mark and Evan in perfect view slightly across and ahead of us. They were with two girls. I recognized the one named Sara. Evan previously dated her in High School for a short time. Always bragging to my brother how she would do anything at the drop of the hat for him. I like Evan but I'm not as so desperate just to be with him even if I meant nothing. My first time or anybody who I'm intimate with, I want to matter to them, no matter how skillful that boy is.

The movie started and I couldn't help but to sneak glances his way. My brother had left them and all that remained was Evan and Sara. I couldn't help but want to be the one Evan was wrapping his strong arms around. All of a sudden my staring caught his eye and he looked at me then looked at Travis as if wondering if he was the one I was with. As he did so my instinct was to lean backwards into Travis's lap and put my eyes toward the movie. At the corner of my eye I saw Evan nibbling at Sara's orange tan neck. Oh how I wish I was that neck. It angered me.

"Hey Mike you think I could get someone of that?" 

They all were eyeing me as if I had spoken a foreign language to them.

"What? You all say how I need to loosen up once in a while." I just wanted to forget Evan Bianchi and how he controls me without even knowing it. Travis leaned in and whispered in my ear.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, your brothers will kill me if I bring you home drunk."

"They can't control my life forever. If they say anything I will tell them you tried to stop me. Don't worry."

"Okay but not a lot I don't want you to get sick on me now okay?"

I liked how Travis was so caring and concerned. He made me feel wanted, pretty, funny, smart. There was nothing wrong with him, it fact he was probably perfect for me. I just didn't lust for his touch or his words like Evan. 

I took a sip and it immediately burned going down. I started coughing and my belly instantly became warm. I decided to try another hoping the second wasn't as bad as the first. It was. Soon enough I was slightly buzzed. I'm definitely not a drinker, I almost immediately became more relaxed and carefree. I leaned into Travis's arms and held his hands over my abdomen. Liking the feeling of how he felt against my body. Travis rested his chin on the top of my head and I could tell he was grinning. I looked up at him as if to ask him what he was grinning about and his blue eyes were looking at my hazel ones. I knew that look without any words he wanted to kiss me. At that time I wanted him to kiss me. His lips lightly brushed mine. My skin became hot I don't know if it was from the kiss or the alcohol I had consumed. His touch was sweet and timid as if asking me if it was okay. I kissed back but as soon as it started it ended. By someone grabbing my elbow and pulling me up from the ground.


Just a Crush



"What the heck." I exclaimed trying to pull my arm away. As I looked I saw an angry Evan.

"What do you think you're doing? You reek like alcohol and you're over here making out with some boy in front of everyone? What if your brothers had seen?" He said through gritted teeth not letting go of my arm.

At this time everyone was looking shocked as in not knowing what to say. Travis stood up and was giving Evan a sorry look.

"And you!" pointing at Travis. "Why would you let her drink you know her brothers will kill you. If you just trying to take advantage of her."

I stopped him yanking my arm out of his grasp.

"Let go of me, it was my idea! How many times have you come over drunk of passed out? Why is it okay for you and not me?" I exclaimed becoming angry also. Why did he think he could do that I asked myself.

"Travis told me not to, so don't blame him. You know what! Never mind I don't have to explain anything to you!" I stomped off knowing very well Evan was right behind me. He grabbed my elbow again and started guiding me towards his truck. Every time I struggled he would tighten his grip. Even after my protests of him hurting me. He opened the door and shoved me in. Getting in the driver's side he drove off. I sat as close to the window as I could with my elbow on the window and my hand holding my head. I was starting to get a headache. I knew he was taking me home and I was kind of glad. I started not to feel well. Before the car came to a complete stop I got out not wanting to be around him anymore. He followed me stopping me just as I opened the door and got inside. He closed it now pinning me to the now closed door.

"What is your problem? You don't drink. And what's with that boy? You know your brothers aren't going to like this.

I looked at him mad, "That's why you aren't going to tell them. So leave me alone, go back to that Barbie, and leave me alone!" I tried to maneuver around his arms that were encasing me to the door but he wouldn't budge.

"I don't know what's gotten into you lately."

"Maybe I've grown up and want to let loose once in a while. Is it so hard for you all to think I want to have some fun too?" 

I looked in his eyes his anger turned to a concern look and I was wondering what he was thinking. I bit my lip and lowered my head. Turning my chin up with his finger he looked at me and before I knew it his lips were on mine. I was shocked Evan Bianchi lips are on mine! But as quickly as that thought came, it left. All I could think about was how amazing his lips felt on mine. My knees grew weak and I started to sink. One hand grabbed my neck as the other made its way to my lower back. I wanted to melt into him. His lips were wanting and I gasped, as my lips parted, Evan slipped his tongue into my welcoming mouth. Caressing sweet moans out of me in return. He abruptly stopped hovering with his mouth inches from my own leaning his forehead on mine. I felt his warm breathe and then it hit me. I realized what just happened. My eyes grew wide and I quickly maneuvered out and ran upstairs to my room, leaving a confused Evan leaning his head against the door. I shut my door and slid down the back. I was confused. I knew I could never get him out of my system now, I wanted more. But I knew it would never happen. Why would he do that? Because he could? Because no one can have anything unless he wanted it?



Just a Crush Ch. 02



I would like to thank everyone that took the time to read my first chapter. I heard wonderful feedback. To answer a lot of the same questions I received. No this is not an actual story, as much as I myself would like it to be also. All characters and places were made up with my imagination. I know my grammar could be improved. I'm trying, so bear with me and enjoy! Thanks again, all comments and constructive criticism are welcome. 

*

School the next week was a blur to me. Travis made attempts to talk to me about what had happened that night at the Drive-In whenever he could. I told him repeatedly everything was fine, and that if it wasn't, my brothers would have talked to him way before he had a chance to talk to me. He offered to take me to a movie but I reclined saying I was busy with school work. It was partly true, but I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't go on a date with him knowing all I can think about is Evan and our kiss.

Here I was on a Saturday doing school work that wasn't due for weeks. I was in my room the whole week for that matter, my books consuming me. I don't think my brothers thought of anything different. It wasn't out of the ordinary for me to be holed up in my room for periods of time, trying to get school work done. So here I was once again trying to get my mind anywhere but on Evan Bianchi. I kept reading the same paragraph over and over again trying to understand what it was saying every time. But all I could think about was Evan. Frustrated I closed the book, leaned back on my bed, and massaged my temples. 

I haven't spoken to him or even seen him for that matter since I left him confused at my front door a whole week ago. It has only been a week? By the way the week went by it had seemed longer than that, maybe even a month. I would look for his truck everyday passing his house after school. I don't know if it was out of habit or if I wanted to run into him and finally face what happened between us.

The kiss, it was more than I ever expected from Evan. I often thought about what it would be like between him and me, but I never expected that. My brain turned to mush, and if he had encouraged anything more at that moment, I probably would have let him. I've never not been in control of my own body. I don't know whether that scared me or excited me more. At the time, all I wanted was him and how his actions were as if all he wanted was me. But now I couldn't help but to think of all the other girls who have had the pleasure of his lips on theirs. Did he kiss them like he kissed me? His kiss was passionate and aggressive, as if he was trying to tell me something words couldn't. But what? He has never hinted to me of any feelings towards me other than a friend or another protective older brother. I couldn't just sit here all day and do this to myself again. I wanted answers, and Evan was going to give them to me. I don't care if he avoided me like the plague all week. Soon enough my brothers, even Mr. Bianchi, will notice something is up if I don't confront this sooner or later. I would rather talk to Evan than deal with my brothers any day. I got dressed and pulled my hair up into a pony tail.

As I headed down stairs I heard my brothers opening up cabinets in the kitchen. I sat down at one of the stools at the island and watched them move about. As they laid contents out to make a sandwich, I picked up a piece of bread and started picking at the crust little by little and placing it in my mouth.

"So what are you guys getting into tonight?" I said in between taking bites of the almost gone piece of bread I had.

"Cara and I are probably going to head over to Mike's and see what they are getting into." Trevor answered me while spreading mayo on a slice of bread. 

I could tell by the way my brothers were acting towards me, nothing was ever said about my drinking the Saturday before. Not even by Cara, I think she knew that by the way Evan dragged me off, I had already gotten an ear full and didn't want to mention it to my brother.

"Yea, she texted me too but I didn't really feel up to it. Let me know what you guys end up doing though, maybe I will swing by later." I replied to Trevor. 

I turned to Mark who was now stuffing his face with the sandwich he made. With a grossed out look on my face I asked him his plans.

"I'm taking Susie out. I met her at the Drive-In. She's Sara's Cousin." He said with his mouth full.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one Mom taught manners to." I said as I leaned over the island grabbing a napkin. I motioned to Mark to take it and wipe up the mayo that stuck to both corners of his mouth.

He took the napkin from my hand, wiped his mouth, and swallowed the remaining contents. "Why? What are you doing tonight?" 

Glancing out the bay window in the living room, I could see that Evan's truck wasn't in his driveway. He is probably at the shop. I overheard Mark talking to Trevor during the week, how Evan has been in a mood all week and is non-stop working in the garage. He had said something about Sara getting to him again because he had been that way since he left them two at the Drive-In. Confirming that Evan hadn't said anything to my brother about my drinking and taking me home. But could his mood be because of me? Or was it an argument that surfaced between him and Sara from having to take me home and leave her there? Another question I had set in my mind to ask Evan when I see him.

I looked back at Mark, "You think you could drop Trevor off and I can take the car tonight? Steph and I were thinking about going and seeing that new Horror film they have out at the cinema."

I came up with the lie quickly knowing that my brothers knew Steph didn't drive. I needed the car to go to the shop and confront Evan. But giving them that information would only lead to them suspecting something was up. 

Before Mark could give me 21 questions about what time, how late I would be, and blah blah blah. Trevor interrupted, "I can get a ride home from somebody, and I always get the car on the weekends. You can drop me off before your date with Susie." He said looking at Mark.

Although they were both protective, Trevor knew when I needed a break. Mark would have no problem if all I ever knew were books. Mark loved me, but he just didn't understand that I was a person and I needed social interactions just like everybody else. He couldn't beat up every boy that talked to me. I think the way he treated girls when he was in high school all came down and affected me. He knew how boys could be, but instead of trusting the fact his little sister could take care of herself, he rather block the world.

I smiled at Trevor. In between taking a bite out of his own sandwich, he grinned back at me knowing I was happy he saved me from Marks third degree.

"I guess I could do that, but if you are going to stay at Steph's text me and let me know." Mark said to me sternly.

I nodded my consent and walked on the other side of the island, giving them both a quick hug before I went upstairs. 

I checked my phone to see if I had any missed calls or texts. I had a text from Travis asking if we could talk. I know that I had been ignoring him all week and after I refused his movie date he looked a little upset. I wasn't ignoring him because I didn't like him. Apart of me did, not only as a friend, but he always treated me nice. But I couldn't talk to him until I cleared whatever it was between Evan and me up, it wouldn't be fair to Travis. He deserved to have a girl's undivided attention and as much as I wish I could be that girl I had to follow my heart when it came to Evan. I knew I would regret it if I didn't.

I called Steph to let her know my plans. She had known for years my infatuation with Evan and seemed thrilled to be taking the "plunge" as she would say. She told me that she had a project that was due anyways and that if I did end up wanting to stay the night there that she would love to hear all the details. I told her that I would let her know and thanked her before I got off the phone.

By the time I got out of the shower and ready my brothers were already gone. I grabbed the keys and headed outside. The sun was almost set, leaving clouds in bright purples and reds, almost in remembrance that it once was there. When we were little, Evan and I would run to the cliff when others were being called in to have supper and watch the sunset. We would call it our place because only each other would enjoy those moments like we would. In a way I think Evan always had a part of my heart. He understood me without me having to say a word, I was never complicated in his eyes. Sure he teased me right along with my brothers and would often make me cry, followed by a Mr. Bianchi giving a lecture to all the boys on why they need to be nice to me. But we have moments that are just ours. It's like he always knew what to say or do whether it was to make me angry or happy. As we got older our time together became less and less, but I always valued our memories none the less. As I got older my feelings towards him only continued to grow and a part of me hurt every time I would see him with another girl, only to be relieved that it only lasted a week if not more every time. 

As I drove towards the shop I couldn't help but to think of what I wanted to say to him let alone what I wanted out of it. What exactly did I want to be to Evan? I wanted to matter I knew that much but knowing his history with girls I know he would grow tired of me. Then what would happen? Would he stop coming around? Will his relationship with my brothers be affected? I couldn't ever lose Evan all together. I decided I was going to tell him not to worry, it wasn't a big deal. That everything could go back to normal and my brothers didn't have to know about any of it.

I pulled up to the shop and before I lost all nerve to walk in there, I shut the door just focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. I could tell by the lack of cars in the lot he was the only one there, with his blue truck sticking out like a sore thumb. I opened the door to go inside the garage and let it slam shut behind me. I jumped at the noise and shortly I heard a radio being lowered.

"Hello." I fidgeted with my hands as I looked around only to see him turn the radio back up and lower his upper body into a car. I knew he knew it was me and figured that if he ignored me I would just go away. I wasn't, I was determined to speak my mind even if I didn't get any answers in return. 

Instead of nervousness overcoming me like it did on the drive here, I became angry. I stomped my way over finally taking place right beside him.

"I don't know what your problem is. First you drag me home, and then you kiss ME. Then you proceed to ignore ME. I don't get it." It all came out in a ramble and a rant.

He placed the tool that was in his hand on the bench next to him. Grabbing a rag he turned to me slowly.

"Are you done?" He could tell by the way I was looking at him I had way more to say what was on my mind.

"No I'm not done! You can't just go kissing anybody you want to, I have feelings too, and for you to go and just confuse me isn't fair. I'm not just some girl you can do that to Evan! " 

I calmed as soon as the words left my mouth. It felt good to say what was on my mind. He kept his cool the whole time. Looking amused almost as if he was impressed he could get me that angry.

"I think you're the one that ran away from the situation. So I gave you some time to think and come to me." Evan said stiffly. I wasn't use to him showing no emotion when he talked to me.

"I mean for fucks sake Evan were you jealous? Jealous that not every girl swoons over your every move? Am I not an exception? You left your date with Sara, for what? To ruin mine?"

I was angry and I was trying to anger him. To get something, anything from him other than a flat answer.

It worked, Evan threw the rag on the engine and started walking towards me. His jaw was clenched and I could tell he was holding back from saying something to me. With every step he took forward I heard my heart thump. I didn't budge, I stuck my chin up, and looked right up into his green eyes. He was so close I could swear he heard my heart beating. I almost lost my train of thought as he became nearer. Last time he was this close his lips were on mine and I couldn't help but glance at them in remembrance.

"You're not like every girl Natty, that's the problem." He said truthfully. 

"I don't want to talk about this here, come on let's get out of here." He said grabbing my hand leading me towards his truck.

I didn't say anything, I let him lead me without saying another word as we hopped in the truck and made our way towards his house. I could tell his guard was coming down, I think that's why I went with him without any hesitation. We walked inside the dark house, him going before me, turning lights on his way towards the kitchen. Mr. Bianchi and Angie were gone for the weekend. Before it starts to snow they usually spend their weekends at their cabin whenever they could. With Evan being back at the shop it wasn't as busy and they used that time to get away. I followed him and sat at a chair putting my elbows up on the island. Evan grabbed two sodas from the fridge and placed one in front of me. 

"I don't know why I didn't like that Travis boy touching you, I just didn't. You were drunk on top of it...."

I stopped him "I wasn't drunk."

"Okay but you smelled like it and then I thought he had forced it. But when you had gotten so angry at me I was almost mad that you let him kiss you, that you wanted him to kiss you. When we got home and we were standing there. I don't know why what happened, happened, it just did."

His words were rambled, I could tell he was frustrated that he couldn't quite clearly get out exactly what he wanted to say. But I knew what he was saying, he was confused about what that kiss meant just as much as I was. But at the same time it felt right. I looked at him with a blank expression. I think he thought I was still angry by the way he looked down at his hands where they were holding the can of soda. I couldn't trust my voice and before I lost the nerve I walked over to the side where he was standing. At that moment I knew I wanted Evan, even if I just became a fling to him. I had to give us a shot. I knew by his words that that kiss meant something to him too. He looked at me surprised and before he could even say another word I stood on my tip toes, wrapped my arms around his neck to lower his head towards mine, and brought my lips to his. Just like his lips spoke to me a week ago, I wanted mine to speak for themselves also. I was pleased to feel him wasting no time in kissing me back. Everywhere he touched, my body was on fire. I started roaming my hands up his shirt to feel his taut muscles. He grabbed my hands and without breaking our kiss he lifted me up on the counter in front of him. With him in between my legs I couldn't help but to feel moisture gather and a warm pressure build inside me. 

His lips were demanding, he broke the kiss only to nip at my bottom lip and travel down to my neck. I grabbed the hair at the base of his neck and tilted my head to the side so he could have better access. He brought his lips back to my mouth and started giving me soft kisses as he travelled his hands under my shirt and towards my bra. I raised my hands in the air as a motion for him to remove my shirt. He did. I'm not usually this bold, but all I wanted was Evan and his hands to be on me. He gave me a quick peck before placing his hands at my clasp and unhooking my bra. He leaned back as if telling me I would have to be the one to take off my bra completely. No one has ever seen my bare chest, and although I was nervous, I'm glad it was Evan. By the way Evan was looking at me I could tell he wished my hands weren't cupping my bra just as much as I did. I took each strap off first all the while holding one hand up so that my bra was still covering my breasts. Finally letting the bra come completely down in one hand and fall to the floor beside us. He looked at me as if I was the most beautiful thing that has ever sat on top of his counter. It encouraged me to tug at his shirt and lift it up letting him be the one to pull it over his head. 

As soon as his shirt hit the ground his lips were on mine again. Trailing back down, he went farther and was placing soft kisses in between my breasts. Placing his hands on my butt he pulled me closer to the edge. I closed my eyes enjoying his mouth on my skin as he placed his whole mouth on one of my nipples while his other hand rubbed and tweaked the other. I've played with my nipples on my own but nothing ever came close to what Evan was demonstrating on me now. My panties were soaked, I was sure of it. I kept grinding my hips into his pelvis liking the friction it was creating. As if sensing I was becoming more anxious, he picked me up, and started walking us towards his room with my legs wrapped around his torso. 

He placed me in the center and lay next to me with his head in his hand. I grabbed the ponytail that was in my hair and put the band around my wrist letting my hair sprawl out as I sat mocking his position next to him. He looked at me placing his hand to my cheek. From my cheek to my chest, his hand traveled down until it reached the button on my jeans. He undid the button effortlessly and slowly zipped the zipper down. He looked at me questioning, as if to give him an answer to further his movements I leaned over and kissed him as if to encourage his actions. He hooked his hand inside the side of my jeans as if trying to tug them off. I decided to help him and discarded them on the side of the bed. I moved closer hooking my leg so that it lay on top of his. He smelled manly, he smelled like Evan, and it only added to my senses of being aroused. He grabbed my leg and placed it back to join my other. With an upset whimper I realized he did so, so he could remove his own jeans. Here I was, with Evan, in his room with nothing but our underwear on. It wasn't weird or awkward. It was like I was always supposed to be there, like that, with him. It just felt right. 

He grabbed my leg hooking it back over his and pulled me closer so that my mound was greeted by his hardness. I loved the fact he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. His erect member proving his need for me, I trailed my hands down and grabbed what was between us. He took a sharp intake of breath and lazily trailed his hand right below my butt on my thigh. I pulled his boxers down and wrapped my hand around the soft skin, slowly stroking up and down. He grabbed my hand and breathing heavily he whispered.

"You're going to be the death of me."

Liking the control I had over him I begin to nip at his neck. Only for him to roll me over, his thigh placed in between my mound, and him hovered over me on his elbows. My hair pooled around me and he took a strand and twirled it in his fingers. I grabbed his face and placed it closer to mine as I let my lips sweetly caress his. He trailed a hand down to where my panties were covering my mound and slowly rubbed the outside up and down. 

He spoke into my lips, "Your panties are soaked." Before hooking them with his thumb and pulling them off as I bent me knees to help.

He placed his hand once again on my now bare mound and continued his stroking. Instinctively I began pushing my hips up to meet his hand. As if answering me, he pushed a finger further into my lips spreading my moisture around. I wanted more and I began to whimper. He slowly inserted a finger and I shuddered. He stopped his movements, finger still inside, I opened my eyes to find him staring at me.

"Are you still a virgin." 

Moving his finger as to prove his point. It was more of a statement than a question. He knew with the brothers I had, I had to be. But my actions tonight were nothing of a shy virgin. I blushed diverting my eyes away from his.




Just a Crush Ch. 02



"Look at me. We don't have to do this. We don't have to do anything you don't want."

Knowing it was concern that raced his mind soothed me. His eyes still focused on mine I realized I wanted nothing more than him at this moment. 

Grabbing his face I replied, "I want you like I've never wanted something my whole life. Now stop worrying and just kiss me."

He let out a breath and rested his forehead against mine. As if to encourage him I placed my hand in between us and stroked his still hard member. It slipped from my hands as he lowered his body in between mine. He spread my legs and rested his forearm on my lower abdomen. I could feel his breath on me before his mouth covered my mound. At first I was shocked but it was quickly overcome by my body responding to his mouth on my nether regions. His skillful tongue soon found my nub and he roamed his tongue over it. My body bucked in response but his arm kept me lowered so I couldn't move from his pleasure. The pressure was building up and my body felt like it was going to explode. I didn't want to finish yet I wanted to feel him inside me. I needed him inside me. Sitting up I pulled his wonderful mouth up towards mine. I tasted myself on his lips and quickly licked it off eliciting a low moan from him. Leaning back I grabbed his length and placed it at my opening. He broke from my kiss.

"Are you sure you want this?" He asked

"I'm sure."

"What about a condom?"

"I'm on the pill." It's true I started taking it shortly after my eighteenth birthday not only to help regulate my periods but just in case a situation like this was ever to arise.

"And besides I want to feel you."

And with that I knew Evans last defense was taken as his lips hungrily met mine. He began to grind against me feeling his member become slick with my wanting. The pressure started to build up again and I grabbed his hips as if telling him I was ready. In one swift movement his body slammed into mine, piercing my barrier in the process. I yelped and my eyes burned with tears. I was expecting it to hurt and I could tell by Evans stilled movements he was giving me time to adjust to his length that was now inside of me. He felt huge inside me. Evan was certainly well endowed, not that I have any other references. But I was concerned for a split second that it wouldn't fit inside me. But he did and it felt wonderful. I nibbled at his neck to encourage him to continue his movements. He slowly rocked his hips in and out in short, slow movements. Each time the pain being replaced with the previous pleasure I had felt before.

I wrapped my legs around his waist and began kissing him again. He moved his mouth to my neck and increased the speed of his cock pumping in and out of me. I could tell he was still holding back trying to be careful but his patience was weakening.

"It's okay, just let go." I whispered. 

With that he pulled his arm underneath my lower back forcing my body to come down harder on his member. I moaned out my pleasure and met his movements with each thrust. Every time he began to pull out I clenched as if protesting his body from leaving inside mine. Our movements became faster and faster. Before I knew it my pussy muscles contracted around his engorged cock and my body shook with the most powerful orgasm. He slammed into me a couple more times after moaning his sweet release. I felt his seed spill out inside of me and was satisfied he found just as much pleasure in my body as I felt with his.

He collapsed and laid there on top of me still inside. I enjoyed his weight on me and I lazily traced circles on his bare back. After a while he rolled over pulling his cock out and pulling me into his embrace. The moment he left my body I already missed him. But I settled into him anyways, my butt now against his semi flaccid cock. Before I knew it we both were fast asleep in the sweat and afterglow of our love making.



Just a Crush Ch. 03



Thank you to everyone for voting and sharing your feedback. Everyone has been patient with me and giving me good constructive criticism. I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and again let me know what you think.





I woke up to the street lamps peeking through the window, letting a soft white light cascade over the sheets and onto our bare legs. His arm was wrapped around me protectively and I traced a scar that ran up his forearm almost connecting with his hand. He had gotten it a few years ago from me. He had pulled my hair for the last time, he would run off thinking it was funny, but the last time I caught his foot in mid stride. He skidded almost across the whole lawn, I snuck in a giggle before I saw his arm bleeding more than it should have been. I got in plenty of trouble but he was nicer to me ever since. Looking at it now I never shown that Evan's charm got to me like all the other girls and I think that's why we developed such a good relationship.

So here I was laying in his bed, our feet entangled, and the feel of his warm sleeping breath was teasing the back of my neck. I was dreaming, I had to be. As if answering my question a sharp pain escaped from between my thighs. I carefully lifted the sheet and looked below to find a slight proof between my thighs that it in fact was real. Blushing, I carefully removed his arm from around me and padded my way in the dimly lit room to his side of the bed where his bathroom was located. I quickly shut the door and continued to further inspect the faint stain between my thighs. There wasn't that much blood, relief went through me knowing that his sheets probably didn't fall victim. As I was cleaning myself off I heard a buzzing coming from a crumpled pair of jeans on the floor nearby. Curiosity getting the best of me I leaned over and retrieved a cell phone from one of the pockets. The screen lit up and a text message appeared from Sara.

Had a great time the other night, what are you up to now? Mind if I stop by?

Jealousy and guilt rushed over me, tears immediately filled my eyes. The lump in my throat I tried to keep at bay was proving to be harder to control as each second passed. I shouldn't have looked through his phone but I'm glad to know that my questioning about their relationship was confirmed. It was 2 O' Clock in the morning, clearly this wasn't foreign to them. How long would it be before I was pushed aside and another blonde bimbo like Sara would replace me between his sheets? I couldn't be another conquest to him, another girl to brag to his friends, using my feelings to take advantage for his reckless sexual needs. I wouldn't regret our time together it was what I always pictured it would be and more, but to keep it going would be reckless on my part. And in the end I would be the one to be hurt by the inevitable outcome. No, after tonight we would go back to the way it was, even if it meant me having to yearn from afar. Evan could be the one to leave me completely broken if I ever became completely vulnerable to him and as much as I would love to risk that, I just knew I couldn't. 

I looked in the mirror wiping away the tears that had escaped. Taking a couple deep breaths I reminded myself to be strong, that in the end it would be a choice I couldn't regret making for myself. I opened the door and turned off the light. Standing in the door way, I saw that Evan was now lying on his back with one arm behind his head while the sheets pooled loosely around his waist. The light displayed across his peaceful face outlining his jaw and the dark stubble that grew down past his chin. I traveled my eyes down past his toned biceps and his abs, where it began to form into a V before the blankets covered my view. I roamed my eyes back up stopping at his neck first, remembering every time I nipped or kissed it last night he would drive harder into me as if answering my request. He had a strong jaw, turning his features boarder line pretty, to manly. His lips were full and soft, but demanding. Everywhere those lips touched, my body seemed to spark with need and fire. His lashes were long for a guys but I think it only intensified that hypnotizing pool of green that hid beneath them. 

My body heated again between thinking of what happened and the view I was sneaking. His eyes fluttered open and my heart did a nervous twist. He narrowed in and focused his gaze on me, starting at my eyes and hungrily looked down. I realized I didn't cover up before making my way to the bathroom and my cheeks heated at the look he was now giving me upon looking at the view I was giving him.

He leaned over grabbing my wrist and pulled me so that I lay on top of him. I squealed half-heartedly in protest but relaxed to the steady thump of his heart beneath my ear. As he stroked my hair I curiously placed my fingertip over his nipple wondering if his body would react the same as when he was touching mine. I felt a stir between us telling me my answer. I knew after tonight things couldn't continue. My mind battled my emotions, I should get up and leave right now. But it was like my body was magnetically pulled to his, no matter how hard I tried to pull away, the resistance was just too much. 

I chose every bit what had happened with us, he had been the one to show restraint. I can only blame myself for wanting something I couldn't have, his heart. I knew my actions wouldn't change anything. But the way he kissed me, the way he touched me, wanted me to have that moment, and be in the moment. For once in my life, it wasn't about what would happen afterwards, it was about doing what I wanted, what I always wanted, and that the time that was Evan. Even if he was only mine for tonight. His actions were powerful, as if his body was speaking for himself. I wished that were the case, if his actions spoke louder than words I wouldn't have to worry about the predicament I put myself in.

I pulled my head up so that I was placed in the crook of his neck, breathing in a mixture of sweat and him. He smelled good, and I let out a long sigh in contentment. He pulled my hair to the side and began running his fingers up and down the length of my back, causing goose bumps to rise from my skin. His hands were calloused compared to the smooth skin of my back, but strong. No doubt caused from all the years he worked with his hands. I took my hand that had been roaming his chest and weaved it through his messy hair, pulling back locks that threatened to fall towards his face. He grabbed my wrist and rolled me over so that one arm was cradling my neck and towards his body.

He let go of my wrist and tucked a few stray strands of my auburn hair so that it rested behind my ear. He traced the shape of my face starting from my temple, past my cheek, to my chin. His eyes pierced into mine as if trying to read my thoughts. My breath quickened, breaking his trance to look at my bare chest as it rose and fell. His hand was flat as his palm cascaded down my neck, down my cleavage. He tried to cup my whole breast in his grasp and I was pleased to see that it spilled out where his big hands couldn't quite manage to grab. I bit my lip as his gaze came back to me instead of following his hand. He slowly traveled down my ribs past my hips so that his hand rested against my now moist mound.

Not breaking eye contact. "Are you sore at all?" His voice was deep and husky.

"A little." I broke out, my voice wasn't as strong as his seemed to be.

He spread my folds with his fingers, slowly stroking my tender flesh as if to soothe it. Inserting one finger, my breath caught and I closed my eyes to his skillful touch. Taking that as a sign to continue, he continued his rhythm of removing his finger and pushing it farther in with each stroke. I placed my hand on his chest and opened my eyes to see him still staring at me. I couldn't let him keep looking at me like that, it was tugging at my heart strings hoping he would see more. That I could possibly mean something more to him than someone he could call over whenever he wants like he does with Sara. 

I grabbed his neck and brought my lips to his forcefully. He pulled back then returned setting the pace slower than our previous demands, and what I just tried now to seek again from his mouth. I followed his lead and relished in the now tender kisses he was stealing from me. He inserted another finger in my aroused sex and slowly rubbed circles on my nub with his thumb. My soft moan granted his tongue access to my mouth were he coaxed and tasted the inside of my mouth. His kisses were proving to be my breaking point to my control. Before I knew it a familiar pressure built inside of me and my breath faltered as my body shook with waves of pleasure.

As the waves calmed I peered through hooded eyes to see Evan position himself above me, taking my wrists in his hands and placing them above my head. He buried his head in my neck and lightly placed kisses down my neck to my shoulder. His erection was placed at my entrance and I moved my hips in motion for him to enter. He removed one hand from my wrist and placed it on my hips to stop my movements. I mewled out my frustration and began to nip at his shoulder, replacing my bites with a kiss as if to soothe it. He groaned and entered me slowly, stopping when his full length was inside. After some controlled breathing he began to pump in long, slow, fluid motions inside of me. 

One hand was rested beside my head as the other played with my breasts. He rested his forehead so that it was on mine. His breath was ragged, every time he thrust his cock in he released it so that his breath hit my lips. I traveled my hands down so that each hand lay firmly on his toned butt, trying to guide his movements to go faster. But he took his time. The pressure was building again and I could almost reach my release. But his slow movements wouldn't bring me there. I pulled one hand down so that it was in between us and rubbed my clit, touching him briefly on certain strokes. He looked at my hand and his eyes went dark. He pulled my hand away forcefully and removed his body so that he no longer hovered over mine. Grabbing my hips and spreading them further apart, he pulled me back on his member as he started building up his momentum.

The only sounds were our bodies moving together, his forced breathing, and my soft moans. My boobs began to bounce to his thrusts and he grabbed them in both hands almost using them as leverage. Tweaking my nipples I leaned my head back, arching my back, I came. As my pussy muscles clenched, I felt Evans release followed by his weight on top of mine. When our breathing slowed he rolled over and then I proceeded to lean over the bed looking for what discarded clothes were in his room. Trying to grab me, I snaked out of his hold and stood, even though my knees protested against the weight so soon.

Leaning on one elbow a questioning Evan asked, "Where are you going?"

While I had the nerve and my mind wasn't so fuzzy I had to end it. Even though his body language and the way he was looking at me, wanted me to jump right back into bed and lay with him.

"I have to go home, I can't stay." I said as I picked up my discarded pants and wiggled into them. I couldn't find my underwear and I waved it as a lost cause. I just wanted to get out of there and quick.

"What about your car it's at the shop?"

"I will say the battery died on the way home, close enough to the shop. You were still there so you retrieved it and brought me home."

I made my way out of his room and to the kitchen to get my bra and shirt. He was close behind with the sheets wrapped around his waist.

"You just have this all figured out don't you?" He said from behind me as I pulled the shirt over my head.

"If you need someone to stay why don't you call Sara over? Let's not make this out to more than what it is." I meant to say it in a cool tone but it more so came out angered.

"And what exactly is this?" He motioned his hand between him and me, disregaurding the remark I made about Sara. 

"Whatever it usually is with you Evan. You're leaving soon anyways. You really think I would do this knowing you're leaving and trying to make it more?" I forced my eyes to look at his, knowing he wouldn't believe my words if my eyes ventured elsewhere.

His gaze went blank, I could no longer read the emotion in them like I had before. He walked towards me grabbing my keys off the island, handing them to me.

"Don't forget your keys."

I grabbed them from his hand and stood up on my tip toes to kiss him on his cheek. His once responsive body to my touches remained stiff and I felt his jaw tense. Is he mad at me I wondered? Looking back into his eyes they remained the same, and with that I exited out of his house closing the door behind me.

The cool air met my cheeks as I began my short walk towards home. I arrived at my door and saw that there were lights on. There was no car in the Driveway so it had to be Trevor. Oh great, I thought as I pushed through and headed towards the kitchen. Trevor's head was in the fridge as he pulled out a bottle of water.

"Hey how was your night?" I asked.

"It was okay, didn't really miss anything. Its late I didn't hear the car pull up."

I glanced at the clock on the microwave and it read 3:30. 

"The battery died close to the shop Evan was there late and gave me a lift." Relaying the story I gave to Evan to tell.

He looked at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. "He was there that late, he must have a job that's due. Maybe Mark bailed on him to go on his date.... That he's still on."

We both chuckled not really wanting to know to his whereabouts, but will probably hear tomorrow anyways. 

"I don't see what these girls see in you guys anyways." I bantered playfully.

"Yea Mark I don't get, but me on the other hand, I'm irresistible. He said with a hand to his chest smiling.

"Yea yea, get over yourself." I said sticking out my tongue.

"Well I'm going to go crash I will see you tomorrow." I said before I made my way to my room.

"Night." I heard him call out before I reached the stairs.

I took of my clothes off for the second time that night and put on a pair of shorts and an oversized shirt. I lay in bed and finally noticed my body becoming sore. I couldn't help but to replay the events in my head. I could still feel his kisses all over my body and his smell lingered in my hair. How am I going to get you out of my system now Evan Bianchi I asked myself? Closing my eyes I tried to drift off to sleep knowing my dreams were going to consist of Evan. I'm in trouble.



Just a Crush Ch. 04



Thank you so much to Creepyrj for editing this for me and giving me his much needed input. He is a great writer and I highly suggest you check out some of his work, Iron heart and Fighter are some of my faves of his. Thank you to everyone that has been nothing but kind and encouraging this chapter is for you and again I hope you enjoy. 

*

The last time I looked Evan's way was the night I walked home from his house, his touches still burning in my skin. I was settled in bed drifting off when an annoying little thought popped in my head. I wondered if Sara was ever called over. I don't know what made me get out of bed to peer through my window towards his house. 

Maybe I was hoping not to see Evan usher her in? Maybe I wanted my touches to be enough to satisfy his sexual needs? Of course they weren't, who was I trying to kid. Tears immediately burned my cheeks as they fell down my cheeks without warning. I wiped them away angrily, promising myself I wouldn't do this. No more tears will be shed for Evan Bianchi. It wasn't until the sun started to peek through the sky and the birds started to sing that my body finally let me escape into a state of nothingness that only sleep could bring.

**************

I think the word numb best described my mood for the following weeks. I had been successfully avoiding Travis. Leaving classes we shared as soon as the bell rang to race out into the stampede of the hall losing him in the process. I knew I had to talk to him sooner or later, at least to explain my reason for avoiding him. But I just wasn't up to having a conversation I didn't want to have. I tried my hardest to keep Evan out of my thoughts but when my brain wasn't thinking of him my body ached for his touch.

He hadn't come around the house since what happened and I made plenty of excuses to Mr. Bianchi about skipping dinners these past few weeks. Mark and Evan would be heading to Colorado soon and I was hoping to earn enough credits to graduate by Christmas break. The thoughts of moving far away from this place and all the memories, good or bad, seemed to get more appealing as each day passed. All I wanted was a new start.

Mom had been taking fewer shifts lately and it was good to see her when it didn't involve a five second conversation and her rushing out the door. She had been planning a going away party for Mark and Evan. And of course it couldn't just be casual, it was all business of course. This only made matters worse since I didn't want to go to begin with. I was happy for Mark, but I wasn't looking forward to seeing Evan. Not only that but she had been trying to set me up with a coworker of hers to go with to the event. I wasn't interested, but before she had made it final I fibbed and told her I was already bringing someone.

The bell rang breaking my concentration and I looked up to see Travis looking back at me as he stood up from his seat. I gave him a weak smile as I got up and walked in silence out the door with him. Lunch was our next period and he asked me to sit with him. I nodded my consent and walked over to a table in the back corner where we wouldn't be disturbed. I figured I would let him talk first so I could answer all of his questions. After an uncomfortable silence he finally spoke.

"If you wanted me to leave you alone, I wish you would have just told me. I just can't seem to stop thinking about you," He said as he put his head down and ran his fingers through his hair looking defeated.

I didn't know what was worse; not giving him an explanation, or knowing if I told him the truth it probably would have hurt him just as bad. Those weren't my intentions and I felt really bad for how I had been treating him. Especially since the last time we spent time with each other we kissed.

"I know it was wrong to ignore you the way I did. But I just had a lot of things to figure out." I almost whispered out, the guilt clearly heard in my voice as I spoke

"I understand." Travis spoke, his eyes fixed on his hands before they settled on mine.

I was shocked for his lack of not wanting to further investigate my answer. And when he looked in my eyes I was upset to see hurt in his.

"I know I don't deserve it but would you mind giving me a second chance? I might be jumping the gun here, but my brother is leaving for Colorado soon and my Mother is having a formal going away party. I was hoping you would want to join me?" The last part left my lips in a rush, I didn't want to give him a chance to interupt before I could finish. 

For the first time since we sat down he smiled. Relief came over me and a part of me really was looking forward to possibly going with Travis to the party.

"I would really like that." He said as his face broke into a grin.

But before I could thank him he brushed a stray lock of my hair behind my ear interupting my thoughts at his gesture.

"I'm interested in more than just a friendship with you, but if that's not something you want right now, please tell me." 

I appreciated his honesty and thought he deserved an honest answer.

"I don't really know what I want right now. But I do know I like being around you and wouldn't mind seeing where it goes." 

Travis' smile returned and spread even wider on his handsome face. He reached over and took my hand in his. His hands were a lot softer than Evans I noted. But just as soon as that thought entered my head I scolded myself for comparing Travis's touch to Evan's. It wasn't fair and I needed to put him behind me. I also wasn't trying to replace Evan with Travis. I really did enjoy Travis's company. He was smart, funny, and unbelievably understanding. Any girl would be lucky to have him and it just so happens he was interested in me.

Travis walked me to my next class and bent down to kiss my cheek before we went our separate ways. I was surprised to feel a blush creep across my face and put my hand up to my cheek to see if I could feel the warmth. Travis gave me a flirtatious grin before he turned around and walked away.

**************

The party was tonight and my Mother insisted that I had to wear a dress. As I stood in the full length mirror I couldn't help but admit that the form fitting, strapless, little black dress my Mother had picked out looked great on me. It accentuated every curve and flared just before my knees, showing off my legs. I wore my hair down and pulled it to the side giving it a little more curl to my already wavy hair. 

Makeup was a little more than usual. Steph had insisted on coming over and doing my makeup, trying to persuade me that since it was more formal I had to spice up my little less than average style. I didn't complain but I warned her about not making me look like I was ready to stand on a corner. By the time she was finished I was impressed. My eyes were dark with a smoky eye effect, and my lips were a little brighter than I usually preferred. But with the dress and my strapped heels I wore, the complete ensemble was perfect.

I couldn't help but to get butterflies as time drew near. Travis and I had hung out a couple of times between me asking him to go the party and before tonight. Nothing to serious, we would either go see a movie or do homework together. He was fun to be around and easy to talk too, I always found myself to be relaxed in his presence. Nothing ever went further than kissing and holding hands. I didn't know if I appreciated it or was upset that he never went further. There was a couple times when I thought he was going to do more. Like stopping just before his hand would reach under my bra or he would get my jeans unbuttoned but never venture his hand past my waist line.It was clear he was showing restraint because just when I thought he would finally make a move he would stop and take me home or walk me to my door to say good night. I think he was waiting for me to be the one to initiate things. Sometimes during our make out sessions I would grind on him and feel his want, and as much as I thought about reaching down between us with my hands and giving him some relief, I never did. It's not that I didn't want to, I didn't know if I should. I liked how we were around eachother and I thought if we were to further our actions it would change things like how it changed things between Evan and I.

I thought about Evan less and less as each day passed, but he pushed into my thoughts as I was waiting for Travis to arrive. As much as I knew it would hurt to see him, especially if he was with Sara. That small part in my heart that seemed to scream every time he was near was looking forward to seeing him whether he was with Sara or not. This had been the longest we have gone without seeing each other when he's in town. And as much it hurt to even think about seeing him, I think it hurt more not seeing him at all. Before everything happened he was a friend, a friendship that I valued very much and was missing terribly.

The doorbell rang and a nervous Travis stood at my door. The slacks and the button up dress shirt hewore looked good on him and I couldn't help but to admire the form standing in front of me. He gave me that smile I had grown accustomed to before he scanned my body to see what I was wearing. His eyes grew predatory and I blushed in response. That was the most action I had gotten out of him yet, and it was just a look.

"You look great." He let out breathlessly.

"Why thank you, so do you." I said as I grabbed at his collar to fix the crease.

He took my hand and spun me around so he could see my whole dress. I couldn't help but giggle at hisplayful gesture. I pulled my cardigan on and grabbed my keys before we stepped outside in the cool night air. I was the last to leave and was going to be meeting my family there. Trevor was taking Cara and him and I were both surprised to know that Mark was still seeing Susie and decided to bring her as his date. My mom, of course, had arrived early to mingle with her bosses, her coworkers, and also to make sure everything was running smoothly at the hall she rented just for the occasion. Angie had insisted on helping and Mr. Bianchi had no problems letting the ladies run the show.

As we pulled up and found a spot to park Travis came around to my side of the car to help me out my seat. Careful not to give him a show, I tried gracefully to rise out of the car. I almost made it too, if it wasn't for these darn heels I had to wear. I tripped and fell into him grabbing his arm at the expense of my clumsy act.

"Whoa I can't have you breaking an ankle on me before we even get inside." He said chuckling as he placed my hand so it tucked perfectly into his arm.

His teasing tone made my embarrassment go away and I smiled in response, glad he was helping me balance while I got used to wearing those dreaded shoes. By the time we got to the door my walk became more relaxed and I felt confident enough to know I no longer needed his arm to walk. I didn't let go though, liking how comfortable I felt at his side. Even with the height the shoes provided me he still seemed to tower over me.

He opened the door and guided me in placing his hand at my lower back. I was surprised to feel a small tingle at his innocent touch. As he approached behind me to help slide my cardigan off, my eyes caught sight of Evan. I thought Travis looked good dressed up, but Evan was a dream. He was in a crowd surround by older looking gentlemen and my eyes locked in on that infamous smile of his he was giving to them. God I missed that smile. My heart dropped and I was hoping I could get away without him realizing I had arrived.

As Travis approached my side again he placed his hand back at the small of my back and guided me to our seats. I couldn't help but keep my focus on Evan. Just as I thought I would get away from his line of vision just in time, his eyes caught mine. My body tensed and I could tell Travis was looking at me to see what the matter was. But I couldn't pull my gaze away from Evan's. He gave me a smile but when he noticed Travis his eyebrows furrowed and before I could see what that look meant, he was no longer in view as I approached my chair.

Travis pulled my chair out gesturing for me to take a seat. My stomach was in knots and I opted to go to the restroom before taking a seat. I excused myself and was headed to where I thought the bathrooms were located. Crossing the room I waved at familiar faces and gestured I would be back shortly to properly greet them. The hall I entered was empty and I focused in on the sign that said Ladies Room at the end of it. I didn't hear the footsteps until they were right behind me and forced me against the side of the wall. I shrieked in surprise only to be greeted by a gorgeously looking Evan.

"Jesus Evan, are you trying to give me a heart attack!" Wide eyed I smacked his arm with one hand while I placed the other over my heart. 

His hands were pinned to the wall on each side of me. He looked at me with his jaw clenched before he finally spoke.

"How do you expect me to let you keep ignoring me while you are wearing this dress?" His voice was deep as he spoke right into my ear before looking back into my eyes.

Damn him, I couldn't help but get goose bumps from him just being this close to me. He hadn't touched me since he pinned me against the wall, but my body reacted anyway just from being in his presence. I felt the warmth radiate off his body and it had my body buzzing. As much as I didn't want to think about it, I knew Travis never had this effect on me. Just the familiar smell of Evan had my juices flowing. I was almost distracted enough to forget I was angry and hurt.

"I'm surprised you even noticed what I was wearing," I began making him tilt his head. Feeling the venom in my voice I continued on, "Considering Sara is at your use whenever you need something, or plenty of other girls for that matter." I spat out, the memory of Sara at his door hours after I left flooded my mind again and the hurt resurfaced like an open wound.

"What's with you always bringing up Sara? I haven't dated her for over a year." He retorted with no emotion. His look of confusion pissed me off even more.

"Fucking has nothing to do with dating." I forced out happy that I controlled my tears.

"I saw her at your house after I left that night, not to mention you two were at the Drive-In together. Now if you try to convince me you guys weren't screwing, I'm going to have to remind you that I'm not one of those stupid girls that gets caught up in that charm of yours. No matter what way I acted that night."

I didn't look away, I held my head high and gave him a stare, that if I had the power, would be shooting flames. My body was just as tense as my stare and even a blind person could see I was angry. I told myself I would be strong about this, and I was. I didn't care if he knew that his actions hurt me because I was determined not to give him the power to do it again. He removed his hands from the side of my head and took a step back. I couldn't read what the look he was giving to me meant so I waited for him to say something.

"I haven't been with anyone else since you. She came to my house that night saying she needed to talk. I didn't want to let her in but she walked right past me. She tried to stay but got pissed when I told her no and left." He said and the look in his eyes showed me something I didn't think he was capable of.

I was still angry with him, but as I processed his words the only part that caught my attention was the first part. Did Evan want me the way I wanted him? We stood there staring at each other for what seemed like forever.

"I can't do this." My voice finally broke its strength and it came out more as a whisper. I wiped a single tear that escaped my eye and tried to turn to head towards the ladies room. I barely took two steps before his hand grabbed my wrist forcing me to look at him.

"You can't do what? I didn't know I upset you, I was giving you time to think about everything." He said back, his voice was full of want, almost desperate for me to tell him what I wanted.

I struggled out of his grasp knowing I wouldn't be able to contain my tears for much longer. I was so confused and every time he was around I felt like I couldn't think straight. But before I knew it I was sobbing followed by his strong arms embracing me. He rested his chin on the top of my head and stroked my back waiting for me to calm.

"Dammit Natty, I shouldn't have let you leave that night. I know I'm not the only one who felt something. And if you feel like you could really look me in the eye and lie to me again, that what you felt wasn't real, then I will leave and I won't bother you anymore." 

For the first time I saw a vunerabilty that I could only hope from him. He knew I was lying to him that night, his response to me wasn't only out of anger but hurt. These moments like this, where I got to see the real Evan, reminded me why I've wanted him for as long as I have.

I stopped crying and looked at him as he wiped away my fallen tears with his thumbs. Everything I ever wanted from Evan was in this moment right here, right now. I was too busy pushing him away that I closed myself from the possibility that maybe he really did want me just as much as I wanted him. I was so worried about getting hurt that I never gave myself a chance to be happy. I thought his words were the only thing that had struck a chord in my heart, but the way he was looking at me spoke more than words ever could.

Without hesitation I brought my lips to his and kissed him like I never kissed him before. Spilling my heart into it and hoping he would feel what I was trying to tell him. He moaned into my mouth and pinned me against the wall again. I wrapped my arms around his neck while his strong hands gripped my hips. His kiss, his smell, his weight pushed up against mine, it was all pleasantly overwhelming. God I missed him. I don't think I could ever get enough of him. My body was made for Evan's touches and I was sure of that as he pulled up my skirt, pushing aside my black thong, and pushed two fingers inside of me. He caught my bottom lip between his teeth and gently suckled it as I moaned in response.

I didn't care that someone could walk out and catch us at any moment. All I cared about was what Evan was doing to my body. He knew just how and where to touch me that my whole body lit up with need. The thought of getting caught turned me on even more and he knew it.

"Are you all wet for me or for your little date you brought tonight?" He whispered in my ear. As he pushed further inside my slick channel. He abruptly stopped and moved to my clit, putting just enough pressure to make me wiggle in frustration.

"You." I sighed out into his neck, hoping that my truthful answer would continue his actions.

"I see the way he looks at you." He thrust his fingers in forcefully eliciting another moan from me.

"Has he touched you the way I've touched you?"

My body was building closer to the sweet release I so desperately wanted and that only he could give me. I cupped his face in my hands so that he was looking at me.

"No."

"Good. I want to be the only one to do this to your body. I want you all to myself."

"Promise me. Promise me I will be the only one to touch you like this."

With each word he said he rubbed his fingers inside of me at a spot I could only imagine was my G-Spot. Because each time he stroked, it caused my whole body to be overcome with pleasure. Even my fingertips felt numb by the shock waves.

All I could do was moan my response before he crashed his lips to mine possessively and circled my clit with his thumb as he penetrated his fingers into me, rapidly moving them in and out. All the while coaxing soft mewling sounds from me in return. Before I knew it my pussy clenched around his fingers and I held my breath as the waves of pleasure crashed over me.




Just a Crush Ch. 04



He withdrew his fingers and fixed my dress. I let go of my breath and relaxed my head against the wall, leaning against it for comfort, all the while my hands still firmly grasped around his neck. I opened my eyes to see him insert the fingers that were inside of me into his mouth. His eyes were dark, giving me a look that gave chills and had me already wanting more.

"I've dreamed about your taste. I can't wait for more later." He said giving me a smirk as I watched shocked at his bold statement.

"Later? What do you mean later?

"You're staying with me tonight."

"But..."

"But what nothing. Dad and Ang are going to the cabin right after this, I know your mom has work, and both your brothers have plans."

"It's not that easy I came with Travis you know."

"So? Should I tell him you're leaving with me or do you want to?"

The thought of Evan going all cave man over me would have made me rejoice any other time. But not with Travis, Travis had nothing to do with this and I felt bad for being the one to put him in a situation like this. I liked Travis but never the way he deserved to be liked and cared for by a girl. I knew I would always compare him to Evan, I couldn't help it. I never deserved him, whether he takes it hard or not I know there will be another girl out there who will see him like I see Evan.

"I will tell him. But you have to promise me that when we go home we talk about everything. You are still leaving Evan and I'm still in school. There is a lot of stuff we have to figure out if you really want this."

He smiled that smile at me and gave me a chaste kiss before saying promise into my lips. Opening my eyes I saw a figure standing off to the side of us and quickly pushed Evan away from my side, knowing right after wards it didn't matter, our cover was already blown.



Just a Crush Ch. 05



Thank you everyone for patiently waiting. I hope I don't disappoint with this chapter. This chapter left me stuck more than several times but I'm happy with the way I have chosen for it to go and I hope you do as well. Again your words of encouragement helped me push through so this chapter is for you. Enjoy, constructive criticism is welcomed. 

*

It seems I didn't have to tell Travis after all, here he was looking directly at me and Evan's non to subtle reaction to try and quickly get away from each other. But as soon as Evan realized it was Travis who caught us in the act, he reached for my arm once again urging me to stand closer. My eyes stayed glue to Travis's trying to gauge his reaction all the while letting Evan hold my arm but not budging from keeping my distance from him. Travis had already seen enough. I felt like being wrapped up in Evan's embrace right now would be more like throwing it in Travis's face rather than proving a point as Evan so obviously wanted. Before I could speak, Travis's back was all I could see.

"Shit." I muttered under my breath before I tried to go after him.

Me being lurched backwards was my only reminder that Evan's grasp was still firmly around my arm.

"Let go Evan I have to talk to him." I said angrily while trying to take his hand away from my arm. From the way he was gripping it I was sure it would leave a red mark.

"He knows, there's no use in having to tell him everything now." He said briskly as if what he said meant that everything was taken care of. Which it clearly wasn't.

He removed his hand but by the way he was staring at me led me to believe that if I were to try to leave after Travis again he would see to it that it didn't happen.

"That isn't fair and you know it. I'm sure he wasn't totally clueless that I was a little bit less than reserved towards him. But if he wants answers he at least deserves that for what I have put him through." My voice held conviction trying to get him to understand the truth in what I had just said.

"If he wanted answers he would of stayed." His jaw was clenched, which I now started to recognize as uncertainty for Evan.

Not uncertainty for how he felt, but for the unknowing cause of my actions. Realizing this I had to assure him that I had no doubts about him and I. I just needed to make right by my confused thoughts the past month that not only effected us, but effected Travis as well.

My tone lightened and I stroked Evans smooth chin to where it clenched only to feel it become relaxed under my touch. I Realized that I preferred a slightly scruffy Evan that I experienced our night together rather than a clean shaven one that I know only cleaned up for the special occasion. 

I left my hand on his cheek willing him to look at me as I calmly asked, "Now how could he have stayed at the sight we just gave him? I'm your's Evan, but he didn't deserve that." 

At the last of my words his body visibly relaxed and he leaned his head into my hand. He grabbed my wrist and brought my palm to his perfect lips, gently placing a tender kiss before letting me go. A simple gesture like that had my heart swooning even more and I couldn't help but think of all the places those lips have been on my body. My body instantly heated at the thought and I knew I had to go now or I would want to familiarize myself with those lips again, there was time for that later, and right now I needed to talk to Travis before he left.

Slowly nodding his head he quietly spoke, "Now go before I change my mind and haul you out of here over my shoulder and home." He gave me a forced grin and I knew he was only letting me go to Travis because I asked, not because he knew it needed to be done.

I smiled back at him amazed at how the past hour had changed everything that I had previously felt within the past month. Evan and I were going to be together and my heart boomed at just the thought. I bent down and quickly removed my heels. Standing back up on tip toes with both heels clasped in one hand I wrapped my arms around Evans neck. I nuzzled my nose in the warmth of his neck, relishing in the faint smell of his cologne and something that could only be described as all Evan before I brought my mouth to his ear and nipped at his lobe. Satisfied when I felt him shiver, I whispered in his ear "Thank you" before I quickly entangled myself from him. I handed him my shoes putting more than an arms reach distance between us in a few quick strides backwards. The look he shot me was one as if I had been playing with fire and it left me breathless and excited. I giggled and started making my way towards the direction I saw Travis leave. Still walking backwards my playful gaze was happy to see him waving me on with the hand that now held my shoes before I turned and made my way through the crowd. I paid no attention to the quizzical expressions on all the guests faces as I made my way quickly through them like a maze, bare foot, and practically running. I knew if I had those shoes on I wouldn't make it to the exit in time to catch Travis. Proving that I was right my eyes caught sight of him just as he entered the room where our coats had been placed. I entered shortly after Travis slowly trying to catch my breath and saw him stiffen immediately. He knew it was me without even looking. 

"I'm so sorry Travis." I managed to whisper out. 

"I don't even want to hear it. You don't have to explain anything to me." He snapped, his back remained facing me and he raked both his hands frustratingly through his hair before he went right back to angrily looking through the rack for his coat.

"Yes I do, I never meant to hurt you." My voice was pleading to him hoping he would at least turn around by my voice and look at me. But at the same time hoping he wouldn't, afraid of the look he would shoot at me.

He turned around and his expression was flat but his body language spoke volumes of what he was really holding back.

"But you did." His voice remained surprisingly calm only furthering my guilt for what I had done to him. Even when he was angry, I being the one to cause his anger, he was still trying to preserve his own feelings for mine.

"I know and I wish I didn't. But I can't help how I feel about Evan. I really wanted to like you and I tried. But I just couldn't get over him and I'm not quite sure if I ever really wanted to." I knew my words would hurt but I had to be honest not only to him but myself. 

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I knew there was something missing, that you never looked at me the way I looked at you. But I convinced myself to think nothing of it because I wanted you so bad. But when we came here tonight and I saw you look at him. Your eyes.....Your eyes met his in the way I had only dreamed it would be, but for me not him. I saw him follow you and I knew what I would see. I just had to see with my own eyes to make sure." His voice remained confident but I could tell he was fighting to maintain control. His eyes held the same hurt I had seen in them before when I ignored him after our first kiss and I felt sorry that I was, once again, the one who placed it there. But relief also swelled up in me to know that he understood just how I felt about Evan, that it was just something I simply couldn't help or forget. .

"I need you to know I didn't mean for all of this to happen and I'm sorry my confusion some how dragged you into it. But I really did enjoy spending time with you and I can only hope that sometime in the future we can at the very least remain friends." I smiled at him hoping that what I said could become a possibility.

"I wish the best for you and I hope that thought doesn't seem so far fetched one day. Goodbye Natalee." And with that, jacket in hand, he kissed my cheek before moving past me and towards the exit. 

I stood there not turning around to watch him walk away, thinking about just how wonderful a person he was. Here I had hurt him and led him on, not deliberately, but none the less gave him ideas of things I knew in my heart I could never actually give him. And yet he understood in some small way why what happened, happened and didn't hate me for it. The girl that catches him one day is going to be extremely lucky.

Breaking me of my thoughts was Evans arm as he securely wrapped it around my waist. I melted into his hold knowing right away that it was him and secretly not caring if anyone saw. Leaving soft kisses on my bare shoulder he finally spoke.

"How did it go?" He said before he rested his face in the crook of my neck.

A thrill went through me as I felt his mouth on my bare skin and I almost forgot what was he had asked me before I realized he was waiting for my answer.

"Really well surprisingly." I answered. 

He spun me around so that I was facing him, he furrowed his eyebrows as if he was contemplating something but instead of speaking right away he motioned for me to put my shoes back on that he was still holding. I used his arm as leverage as I slipped my feet back in one at a time.

"Did it go well in his favor or mine?" He stared at me curiously after I securely placed both feet in the death trap they call heels and looked up at him. Even with heels on he still was taller than me. Another thing that I love about Evan, even his presence overwhelms me.

I smiled at his question seeing a less confident and vulnerable Evan was different. And it still surprised me that it was all for me. I guess not talking to him all that time really did affect him as much as it had been affecting me.

"And what would be in your favor?" I asked eager to hear his answer.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him so that no distance remained between. He gently placed his thumb on my bottom lip, tracing it, before he hastily claimed my lips as if he was trying to tell me they were his. Which they were, I didn't want my lips to be any one else's but his. His passion flooded all my senses and I stumbled into him mostly because my knees buckled at the intrusion of his tongue and partly because I had to get use to these shoes all over again even though they weren't off for very long. Not letting me go he broke the kiss and chuckled at the pure want I'm sure he saw on my face. How long until we are in his bed I silently asked myself .

He cupped my face with his hands as he asked me, "As much as I know you hate and can't even function in those sexy heels of yours. I can't say I'm eager for you to take them off especially when I had thoughts of you wrapping your pretty little legs around my waist while you wear them." 

He stared into my eyes heatedly as he spoke leaving my face a crimson red at his confession. The thought he just described had done wonders to my body as I felt an all to familiar wetness form between my legs again. The cocky grin he sported me after seeing my reaction to his words brought me back to the question I wanted him to answer.

"Answer my question Evan." I said knowing he knew exactly what question I was talking about.

His face became serious again, letting me go, he ran his fingers through his dark hair before he answered.

"Mine of course. I want you to be all mine." I knew his confession took a lot for him to say but I wasn't going to let up I still had one more thing I needed to be confirmed.

"And are you all mine?" I asked, I was scared to know his answer but silently hoping that I truly could be the one to bring him out of his player ways.

Sensing my apprehension he pulled me in for a hug resting his chin on my shoulder as he idly stroked my back. Before I got lost in his touches once again, I pulled back wanting him to say what ever he was going to say looking at me and not hiding behind my shoulder. Before giving a heavy sigh he knew exactly what I wanted and decided to answer.

"I was your's before I even knew I was. The look you gave me tonight when you first walked in and saw me confirmed that everything I was feeling, you were feeling too." The strength and conviction his words sent me had my eyes tearing, and for the first time, out of happiness. I thought the look I had given him when I first saw him was one more of a deer in headlights, but I guess my true feelings decided to shine through even when I wasn't ready for them to.

Wiping my tears away with the pads of his thumbs for the second time that night, he looked at me worriedly. I no longer left him worrying as I answered his thoughts before he could ask what was wrong.

"All I ever wanted was you. We are both to stubborn for our own good you know that?" I said swatting his chest lightly with my hand before I rested it on his chest. I could feel his hard muscles his dress shirt tried to conceal and I couldn't help myself as I traveled down past his ribs to steal a touch of his toned abs. He grabbed my hand, stilling my movements, I heard him intake a sharp breath at my innocent enough touches. 

"I might be stubborn but you my dear Natty, are definitely a tease." He dipped his head and gave my neck a playful nip at my shocked expression I gave him at him calling me a tease. Followed by him whispering in my ear. "If you only knew what your touches did to me."

He took my hand that he was still holding and placed it on his hard bulge that was now straining to break free from his slacks. Goose bumps surfaced on my skin and my breath hitched at his sensual act. Feeling his obvious want and that he was so turned on from my touches did wonders to my libido. 

"Well we are just going to have to fix this now aren't we." I said confidently as I began to stroke my hand up and down his length as best I could with fabric in the way. I don't know what came over me I'm never this bold, but with Evan I just can't seem to keep my hands off of him. 

He stilled my movements and put space between us even at the protesting sigh I gave him.

"Not here we can't. As much as I would love to, we have people we need to get back to entertaining. I'm surprised they haven't come looking for us yet." He said trying to bring some rational thoughts back to our situation. 

"You're right." I answered with a playful pout on my face. He chuckled at the vision I bestowed upon him one similar to that of a child who wasn't getting their way.

"I will try to end everything as quickly as I can and meet you later to take us home." He said reassuringly placing a quick peck on my lips. Smoothing out his clothes and mine to make presentable before we went back to the party we heard someone clearing there voice in the doorway.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Trevor asked.

My face paled but I was surprised to see Evan go about like everything was okay and that Trevor couldn't have possibly seen anything.

"We were just helping Travis find his coat, something came up and he had to leave." Evan replied.

"Oh okay, everyone has been looking for you guys." Trevor said. There held no suspicion in what he said or how he looked at us when he said it. 

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as Evan just nodded, walked past Trevor, and walked out of the room towards the party. I followed shortly after him only to be grabbed by Trevor just when I thought I was going to make it past him.

"I saw that you know." He said looking at me his voice held no emotion but I kept my head forward not wanting my eyes to give anything away.

"Saw what?" I said trying to sound relaxed as much as I possibly could. 

"You know what. I know Mark doesn't know because I doubt he would be agreeing to go anywhere with Evan if he did."

My heart fell, I snapped my head so that my eyes met his and I couldn't contain the shock from lighting up across my face at my brothers words.

"It's not what you think." My eyes pleaded for him to understand and not to say anything until everything was completely sorted out. Evan and I had barely just begun and we needed to sort some things out before we were ready to let everyone else know. Mark would be a big obstacle to try and convince that we were happy together and he would just have to learn how to deal eventually.

"I hope not. If he hurts you Mark isn't going to be your only concern. What are you guys doing? He is like our brother." He said almost disgustedly.

The tone of his voice not only had me angered but frustrated. I didn't want to explain myself to anyone when I didn't exactly want to or know what to explain for. It was my life and only I could live it, not my brothers, not anyone.

"Correction, he might be like your brother, but I never thought of him in that way." I snapped, immediately feeling guilty after I saw his face.

"I just don't want to see you hurt, and knowing that it's Evan that could possibly do that, you can't exactly blame me for being concerned." Trevor rushed out quickly. I could tell he was battling his emotions and trying to understand for my sake and it made me sympathize my feelings towards his reaction to seeing Evan and I together like that. It probably freaked him out, my over protective brother, catching Evan who is like his brother and his sister in an intimate situation.

"I know you worry, but don't, I promise I will explain everything when I can." I said more gently than my previous answer.

"Okay, just know that I'm here, even at times when you think you don't want me to be." He hurriedly spoke before he spun around and quickly walked away to rejoin the party.

His words left me surprised. I always knew that Trevor and I understood each other more than Mark and I ever had. But I also wasn't expecting for him to respond so calmly either. It left me with great comfort knowing that I underestimated my brother and that he in fact had only good intentions all the while letting me be free to make my own decisions. I noticed he did , however, avoid Evan the rest of the night. Probably not wanting to press his luck into hoping it goes as smoothly between them as it did for Trevor and I when confronting the issue at hand. 

The rest of the night I spent time making small talk with all the guest. All the while catching quick glances at Evan always knowing exactly where he was. I couldn't wait for this night to be over and by the heated looks he was shooting back at me every time our eyes caught each others I could tell he was thinking the exact same thing. He really was stunning, especially when I would see that infamous smile of his and realize that he had a much sexier one that was reserved for only me to see later in the bedroom. My skin burned at the anticipation of his touches and it took everything in me to get back to focus on what the people surrounding me at the time where saying.

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What seemed like forever, which I'm sure only lasted a few more hours, the night was finally coming to a close. Mr. Bianchi and Angie were the first of the family to part ways after all the guests had cleared out. My Mother and Mark making a break with out even saying good bye, Mom to work most likely, and Mark with Sara. They were all over each other all night, I wouldn't be surprised if she follows him to Colorado shortly after he leaves. Trevor was the last to leave opting to walk out with us when he heard Evan explain he would be giving me a ride to the rest of the group that still remained. Trevor shot me a look that only I had noticed.

"I just hope you guys know what your doing." Trevor whispered in my ear as we hugged and parted ways to our separate cars.

I just nodded my answer hoping Evan hadn't heard, not really wanting to tell him that my brother knew just yet. He waved at Evan before he got in his car with Cara and drove off. Evan walked to my side of his truck and let me in first before walking around and jumping in the driver seat. The way home was spent in a comfortable silence with my elbow rested on the closed window and my face leaned in my hand as I stared absently at the night landscape. The trees were bare leaving a promise that snow was soon to follow in the absent of their leaves. 




Just a Crush Ch. 05



My thoughts drifted to when we were younger and our snow days from school weren't spent for sleeping in but for the snow fights the whole neighborhood seemed to take part in. Boys versus girls seemed to be the unspoken knowing of teams. As much as I would bundle up, my day always seemed to end with Evan stuffing a good amount of snow in any opening he could find, he was a hell raiser even back then, thus leaving me to cold to care who won or lost. But if I had to admit, nine time out of ten, the boys were the ones bragging about their victory. Only when my Dad decided to show mercy and join us girls did we have a fighting chance. I smiled at the memory of me waiting for him to pull in the driveway, and before he could even make it in the house, he was greeted with my pleading cries for him to help us beat the boys. My Dad, my constant hero, would rarely ever say no. My Mother would always joke while trying to warm us up afterwards with hot chocolate and towels that he was like a child himself. Snow fights were never the same after he left us and as the years went by we played less and less until we didn't have them at all. 

My Mom engulfed herself in work, partly to make ends meet and partly as a means of a distraction. Oddly enough she spent more time with other peoples children than she did her own. Part of me resents her for not being there when we needed her most and another part understands. She lost the love of her life and her being at work all the time in way helped me build a relationship with the Bianchi's and a certain Bianchi is sitting right beside me now wanting me just as much as I have wanted him for years. I thought I would grow out of my crush for him, but as we got older my feelings got stronger. Him always seeing me as Mark's sister probably hurt the most and I couldn't help but envy every girl that caught his attention the way I so desperately wanted. The only thing that comforted me was knowing that I knew a side of Evan they never would. He was sensitive, caring, and his ambition to this day amazes me. Girls always got the playful, no regrets Evan. But I cherished the moments I got to see his depth. I wonder now if he ever knew how I felt for him. Was I that good at hiding my feelings? When did he see me more than just some little girl, the night I kissed Travis?

"What are you thinking about?" Evans voice brings me out of my thoughts.

"Oh nothing." I replied nonchalantly. Catching a quick glimpse he's smirking as if he knows I'm lying but chooses not to confront me. 

"Okay." He briefly glances away from the road. He smiles that seductive smile of his that makes my stomach do flip flops every time before he returns his gaze back to the road. I watch him as he removes a hand from the steering wheel, and grabbing mine he twines his fingers in between so that our fingers are laced together. His big hand seems to engulf my small one and I find comfort in the warmth it brings to my cold one. I knew a dress had other flaws other than being uncomfortable, it brought no comfort when cold weather was present. 

Before long we pulled in his driveway, helping me out of the truck we walked through the door and was greeted with warmth from the cold outside. My first thoughts were to take off my shoes, but remembering what Evan had said to me earlier had me opting to take my cardigan off first instead, letting him be the one to decide when my heels came off or not. 

"Maybe I should stop at home and grab some clothes. I don't have anything to sleep in." I said to him grabbing at my dress while I followed him to the living room. I watched him plop down on the couch and immediately loosen his dress shirt from his slacks.

"I have something you can wear, but I really wasn't planning on you wearing anything at all." His sexy grin spreads across his face and I couldn't help but move closer like a moth to a flame at his words.

"Is that so?" I said as I stopped and stood in front of where he sat on the couch.

"Yep." He said so matter of factly grabbing me and pulling me down so that I straddled his lap.

I giggled in surprise but quickly quieted when I looked at his green eyes to find them darkened with lust. I grew suddenly aware that the position we are in gives a delightful friction for us both every time I move above him. Liking the feel, I lifted up briefly and moved my dress so that it pooled around our laps and left me intimately placed on top of him so that our only barrier was my black thong and his slacks.

He groans and places his hands on my waist to still my movements.

"See, a tease." He says to me heatedly.

"I'm not a tease when I have no intentions of stopping." And before he can say anything back I place my lips softly to his and melt into him.

Our kiss holds a promise of what is to come and soon enough he wraps his arms around me, finds the zipper to my dress, and slowly pulls it down. Breaking our kiss he pulls my dress down so that it bunches at my waist and he stares at my bare chest. Silently thanking Steph for convincing me not to wear a bra, I love the look Evan is giving me right now and my nipples pucker at his intense gaze.

"God you're beautiful Natty." He lets out breathlessly before he gently grasps both of my breasts in his hands and starts to rub small circles over my nipples with his thumbs. 

Words leave me and the only response I give is a pleasant sigh. Evan's touches really do wonders to my body. It was like my body was made for his. I lean my head back and push my chest towards his hands. He releases my breasts and follows his fingertips down my extended neck, in between my cleavage, until he reaches my belly button. His mouth teasingly covers my neck where his fingers had just traced. I rake my fingers through his hair urging him not to stop as he places one nipple into his warm mouth while his hand lightly pinches and tugs the other. I can't help but grind my hips into his erection, enjoying the sweet friction it seems to be creating against my sex. Pulling on his hair I pull his head away from my breast and kiss him hungrily before I break away panting leaving my forehead on his.

"Bed. Now." I get out through my labored breathing.

"Well aren't you the bossy one." Grabbing my bare ass he lifts me in one graceful movement and I lock my legs around his still wearing my heels.

"See I told you I would see your legs wrapped around me wearing these." He points out to me arrogantly. But before I could kick them off as if trying to defy his cockiness, he captures my lips with his and I'm lost again.

He carries me towards his bedroom not breaking contact and I can't help but to wonder how many times he's done this as I realize he hasn't bumped into a single thing on the way. I don't have much time to contemplate as he drops me on the edge of his bed knocking the air out of me in the process. He didn't bother to flick any of the lights on. The moonlight was bright just like our first night together and I could make out his figure perfectly in the dim light. I look up to see that sexy smile of his and I immediately reach up to try to pull him towards me. He grabs my hands and pries my fingers off of his shirt before pushing me back onto the bed so that I'm leaning on my elbows anxiously watching him, wanting him. 

I don't have to wait long before I watch him grab one foot at a time and carefully removes my heels and rubbing my soles with his strong hands as soon as each heel hit's the ground. I can't help the soft moans that escape my lips as he relieves my aches it had caused me by wearing them all night. Afterwards he pulls on my legs so that my butt is closer to the edge of the bed and my eyes grow wide not able to take my eyes off him. I know what he is about to do and I restrain my self from touching him, not wanting him to stop. His hands tug at my dress that is still bunched around my waist and I lift my hips up helping him pull it off just to watch it be discarded on the floor. His hands travel up the inside of my thighs gently urging them farther apart before he finally places his hand over my thong clad mound.

"You're so wet." His voice almost comes out strangled.

I can't help but blush and all of sudden feel entirely to exposed to his gaze. I close my eyes and try to push my thighs back together. Put his hands return to my thighs forcefully holding them open.

"No. Don't." He commands me and I don't dare not to listen and stop trying to close my legs. But I keep my eyes closed not able to bring myself to look at him just yet.

"Look at me." He growls. Another command from him and I look into his eyes almost immediately. They are so beautiful, so hungry, and so mine. All my uneasiness floats away and vanishes at the lust I see in them.

He removes my panties and stares at my bare sex for a few seconds as if he was taking a mental picture to remember it always. I don't even think I've seen my own vagina the way he is seeing it right now. I feel him spread my pussy lips open with his fingers and his tongue instantly finds my engorged clit. I fall back so that my head is laying flat on his bed and I buck my hips up towards his face. I can't help cry out in pleasure that surfaces at his demonstration. Using his arm he glues my body to the bed so that I can't move. He inserts first one, then two fingers into my wet hole gently stroking in and out while his tongue still continues to flick at my clit. I let my self go letting him bring my body over the edge, and just when I think I'm going to explode he stops.

"No!" I exclaim frustrated and wanting.

I look down to see him lift his head and send me a playful smile, my juices covering his mouth. Frustrated I grab his shirt forcefully and bring his mouth to mine. I taste myself on him and it turns me on even more. He groans at my ferocity I placed in my kiss and I use it as an opportunity to gain some control. Not giving him time to think I remove his shirt, aching to feel his skin against mine. Only when I reach for his button on his pants does that break the trance. Just when I think he is going to pull away from me again he scoops his arm underneath my lower back and slides me up so that I lay in the middle of his bed pinned beneath him. His hands are everywhere, stroking me, grabbing me. I rake my nails up his back and with a groan he removes his mouth from mine. Catching my breath I feel him tug his slacks down between us and I'm welcomed with his length against my sex. I buck my hips against him feeling him slide against my wetness. He doesn't place himself inside me right away and I groan and grab his arms urging him to stop waiting. who's the tease now? In one quick movement he slams into me and I scream my response. I feel so full, so right, so Evan's. He moves his body as if he was forcing mine to realize he was claiming it as his. Rolling his hips I feel the pleasure burst through me like fireworks and all I can do is cling to his body never wanting it to leave mine. My ears are ringing and my toes curl into the sheets beneath me. He continues into a steady rhythm and I meet him on every thrust wanting my body to take all he can give.

His thrusts become more forceful and I'm greeted by his alpha words "Mine", in my ear over and over again. Yes I' am his, at this moment my body belongs to him more than it does to me. The effects of having his body be inside mine, his words he breathes into my ear, have me in no time screaming my release and I feel my pussy ripple against his invading member. He slams into me a couple more times before I hear him groan and I feel his seed empty inside me. He rolls and collapses to the side of me, grabbing me, he protectively wraps his arm around me pulling me to him. My head is spinning and I desperately try to catch my breath. 

My body calms and the only way I can even think to describe the way I'm feeling right now is love. I love Evan Bianchi, always have, always will. No matter how hard I tried to keep my distance It never worked. And I can't help but be happy about that fact as I sit here in the after glow of our love making. 

Not bothering to remove his arm I roll so that I'm laying on my stomach just like Evan. I flutter my eyes open to see him staring at me with a peaceful look on his face. It takes my breath away and I instinctively brush the backs of my fingers across his face. 

"Come with me." His groggy voice breaks the silence.

It takes time for me to comprehend what he means until I finally realize he means Colorado. My heart drops and I say the first thing that comes to my mind.

"I'm not done with school yet." Leave it to me to try to rationalize things when I should just let it be.

"But you will be soon, I can wait." And I can tell he really means it. 

He really would wait for me. But I can't let him, this is his dream, to finally get away. I cant stop him from that he still has a lot of stuff to take care of in Colorado to prepare for their shop to open. What about Mark it would mean dealing with him way sooner than I expected. It could ruin their friendship, their career. Evan needs to go and I can't be the one to delay something he has worked so hard for. If he really cares about me, about us, we will have to make it work until I finish school. Which means it would have to be a long distance relationship. I cant even imagine me leaving this bed let alone him being hundreds of miles away from me, but yet again we have come this far. But I love him and I will never forgive my self if ever regrets something because of me.

"No you can't." I whisper.

I think I see hurt flash across his face before he removes his arm and gives me that blank stare I've seen before. I visibly see Evans wall go up right in front of me and it breaks my heart. 

"What do you mean?" He says almost to calmly.

"I mean you can't wait for me Evan. You have worked so hard to get to where you are now. You can't possibly blow everything away for me." I cry out achingly, I hate the way he is looking at me right now.

"And it will be there when you're done with school. It's my company, its not going anywhere." He says straight to the point. 

He is no longer touching me and I reach to put my hand into his hoping to bring him back and make him understand that I'm only trying to do what is best for him. He lets me grab him but his eyes are still blank and I try desperately to try and see what he is thinking.

"Evan I want to be there with you, but you can't wait. You have to go." I try to plead my case to him. Why is he getting so angry. Doesn't he realize that if it was my way I would say fuck school and we would leave tonight. 

"I finish in a couple of months. And I was going to wait to tell you but I applied to a few colleges in Colorado. At the time I don't know why I did that, but now I'm glad I did. If I get accepted I can start school and we can be together. That's if you still want this." I barley spoke the last words and I nervously bit my lip hoping he would still want this knowing he would have to wait.

I waited anxiously for his answer and he sighed as if he had been holding his breath and once again pulled me closer to him so that my head was cradled into his chest.

"You're right I can wait." he said tightly holding no emotion in his words. I smiled into his chest and was relieved by this bittersweet moment. I would have to endure time away from him but eventually we could be together, no obstacles, just us. Hopefully he will see that this is the best choice for both of us.