0 comments/ 30106 views/ 4 favorites Just A Patient Ch. 1 By: lollipopgestapo ****This is a story about love. Please let me know what you think...and if you want the sex, you'll have to stick around... ;)**** * * * * * Alexis stepped into the smell of sickness. She couldn't stand walking into the hospital, down the corridor and up to the second floor every week because of it. Although, she didn't exactly walk. She hobbled. Three months earlier Alexis Starger was a lively college freshman. Bright and bubbly with a lust for life, she was on her way to achieve great things when the incident occurred. Walking back to her dorm from a party as she had almost every weekend since arriving at LSU, Alexis never noticed the group of guys that pulled her behind the Design building. The rape was particularly brutal in that by attempting to bite and kick off her attackers she was severely beaten and left on the steps of the Union to be found by the few who decided to attend Friday morning classes. Now her bruises were fading, her broken rib was healing and she was attending physical therapy twice a week to help regain the use of her fractured kneecaps. The therapy that she refused was emotional. No amount of cajoling or force from her parents and friends could make her see a therapist. What happened, happened. A stranger wasn't going to help her deal with it. A glance at her watch told Alexis she was almost 10 minutes early for her appointment. Instead of waiting in the lobby she walked to the back and into the locker room-style bathroom. Leaning against the door Alexis surveyed her appearance in the full-length mirror across from the shower stall. At 5'2 with what her mother called a "real" figure, she had been likened to stars like Catherine Zeta Jones or Jennifer Lopez. Her features were rounded: full lips on an almost rosebud mouth, a pert nose and deep brown eyes complemented her dark wavy hair and year-round natural tan. Before the incident, she was able to look at herself and see only this. Now she saw what no one else saw. The full breasts that she used to be rather fond of, she now saw as traitors. The lips were too pouty, inviting. Her smile, which used to flow like sunshine, now rarely showed and when it did was restrained, never quite reaching her eyes. From her jeans and t-shirts to her slouched walk and unstyled hair, Alexis did everything in her power to make sure she no longer stood out. That she wouldn't be noticed. Especially by men. "Alexis, are you okay in there?" The concerned male voice from the other side of the door interrupted Alexis' thoughts. Throwing one last glare at her reflection she opened the door to see Jason Stillwell, P.T. waiting for her on the other side. "Hey," she said without meeting his eyes, "I was a little early." "Alexis, it's 20 after 5. I thought you weren't going to show. I was leaving for the day and Deb told me you'd been in there for half an hour. Are you sure you're all right?" Jason's voice held a hint more concern than it did with his other patients. He was standing so close that Alexis had to lean back against the door to look up into his face. When she did she knew it was a mistake. Every damn time! Every time she told herself she wouldn't look him in the eye again she did! Because she couldn't look without staring. She couldn't help it. At 6'1, sandy haired and lean, Jason looked more like an All-American college soccer player than a physical therapist. It was the eyes that did it. He had bedroom eyes. Not quite blue, but not quite green. They reminded her of satin sheets and cool breezes and…things she didn't want to be thinking about. When she felt herself reaching out for him, Alexis jerked her eyes away and moved around him, mumbling, "I'm fine. Can we just start?" Jason stood watching Alexis walk over to the mat in the middle of the main therapy room. She was by far his most intriguing patient. He hadn't been in therapy for very long, in fact he was almost fresh out of school, but he knew that whatever was wrong with Alexis needed more than physical therapy to fix. She had been his patient twice a week for almost three months and he still couldn't get her to open up. Her lack of motivation and her apparent depression were a large part of why she was not improving physically. She still limped profoundly and he could still see her wince with pain if she moved her torso the wrong way. What intrigued Jason was that he wanted more than desperately for her to improve. As if he had something to prove to himself. He wanted to be the one to fix her. He wanted to make her smile and see her walk straight and firm and hear her laugh. He knew he was being ridiculous. It was probably a natural response to the knowledge of her situation. Whatever it was, he never let it interfere with the way he treated her. She was just a patient. A beautiful patient. But just a patient. Crossing to the mat, Jason squatted beside where Alexis sat, legs straight out in front of her, in the middle of the room. "Look, since we're running late and it's the end of the day, how about we just skip your exercises?" For a second she thought of cheesy come-ons and every doctor/patient sex cliché she'd ever heard. He must have noticed the sudden wariness in her eyes because he stood up and walked away from her, toward a table in the corner. "We can just do stretching and massage for today," he said, picking up a thick white towel. Jesus! She must really be losing her mind if she thought Jason was coming on to her. He had never been anything but appropriate with her and she felt bad for even thinking he would be otherwise. A little tentatively she replied, "Yeah, sure," and started to get up off the floor when she noticed that the massage table wasn't in the room. Jason noticed her noticing. "My 3:30 broke it. I should have been more careful after we had to hoist him on with pulleys." "Oh," was Alexis' only response. A little disappointed that his joke hadn't gone over well, Jason started to reach for another towel when he noticed the corner her mouth lifting. Not quite a smile, but it would do. Jason walked back to Alexis with the towels and once again squatted down beside her. "We'll have to do everything on the mat." Alexis had a sudden sinking feeling. For the first time in three months she would be lying on the floor. Under a man. As soon as the thought occurred to her she pushed it away. This was Jason, not some drunk frat guy. Laying back she rested her head on the towels Jason had laid out for her. Lifting her right leg, Jason began stretching it, pushing it towards her head. As he did, his large, lean body loomed over her. Suddenly, with his body so close, practically on top of hers, Alexis didn't see Jason anymore. She saw the guy. The last one of her attackers she could remember before passing out. As he shoved himself into her she began kicking at him with her right leg. Her left was pinned under one of the faceless men, as were her arms. Rather than pull out and hit her as the others had he merely grabbed hold of her leg in his beefy hand and raised it up, pushing it toward her head. Pushing and pushing until she thought her leg would snap. She remembered screaming. That's when he chose to slap her, screaming at her, "SHUT UP, BITCH!" "ALEXIS!" Jason had let go of her leg, but was still leaning over her, his hands framing her face and his eyes filled with shock as she laid on the floor screaming. "ALEXIS!" Not caring that it was Jason, wanting nothing more than to get away, Alexis pushed off the floor and ran, as best she could with her limp, out of the office. She made it out to the parking garage before Jason caught up to her. He grabbed her by her shoulders and turned her around to face him. Jerking away, Alexis looked up at him with tear streaming down her face. "Don't! Please don't touch me right now. Please…I…I…" She couldn't get the words out around the lump in her throat. Inside she was begging herself, "Please, not right now. Don't do this right now. Not in front of Jason." But she couldn't hold it in anymore. Sobbing she started to crumple to the floor, but Jason lurched forward, his arms coming around her. "I'm sorry. Lex, I'm so sorry. I should have known. I should have found a table…" Jason's hands were running over her back, her arms, smoothing her hair. He was pretty sure what just happened and he felt like shit. More importantly, he felt responsible. Knowing her history, he should never have put her in that kind of position. On the floor with him over her. What was he thinking? They stood that way for a few minutes, Alexis slowly crying herself out, until her breathing started to return to normal. Then she realized what she was doing. Abruptly she jerked away and tried to walk around him and out of the garage. He moved in front of her and gently put his hands on her shoulders. "Where are you going?" "I…don't…I don't know." "Let me drive you home, okay." "No. No, I don't want to go home. My parents will be there. I just…I can't go home right now." By now Alexis was starting to shake. The memories of a few moments ago and now her embarrassment at crying like a baby in front of Jason were too much. Jason didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave her alone, but he didn't want to sound like an asshole for offering to take her to his apartment. "Look, we can go to my apartment. I'll make you some coffee and you can decide what you want to do." Alexis just looked at him for a long minute, searching his eyes. Finally she agreed. ***************** Alexis stepped into the smell of Jason. That undefinable scent that was Jason, spicy and clean and sweet, filled the entire apartment. Somehow, it wasn't what she imagined it looking like. Not that she had imagined what his apartment looked like. The dining room/kitchen and living room were almost one room with furniture that looked extremely comfortable but somehow just masculine enough. The couch was huge, cream colored and inviting. He saw her eyeing it and smiled. "Go ahead, try it out. It sleeps even better than it looks." There it was again, that quirky almost-smile. What would he have to do to make the other side of her mouth join the other? As Jason fixed the coffee, Alexis flopped back on the enormous couch, propped her left leg on the coffee table and closed her eyes. What was she doing? She knew she shouldn't be here. Jason was her doctor. Okay, maybe not, but he was…well, they had a professional relationship…of sorts… She had started to think that she would never be comfortable around a man again. Now, she could almost easily picture herself very comfortable with Jason. Just then Jason walked over with the mugs of coffee and, placing them beside himself, sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of Alexis. As she opened her eyes they collided with his. Damn it! Not again. "You doing okay?" "Yeah," she said, a little uncertainly, "I'm fine. I just…had a flashback, I guess." He had begun to knead her knee and she was slowly beginning to relax. Uncertainly, with his eyes focused on her knee, he asked her the question she had been dreading since she broke down at the clinic. "Do you want to talk about it?" Surprisingly she did. As he pulled her left leg onto his lap and began massaging her left knee, she told him about the party she had gone to that night. How she had gotten tired and decided to walk home. Then the rape. The hospitalization. The way she felt every minute of every day. Scared. And helpless. And alone. By the time she finished, Jason had moved to the couch beside her and her legs were across his lap, her knees on top of his legs. His hands had ceased to massage. Slowly, tentatively, he reached out and cupped her face in his hands. Drawing her closer he waited until his lips were grazing hers before he whispered... "I love you." This was not what Alexis had expected. Stunned, she pulled back until she was looking up into his face. "What did you say?" "I know….I know…I probably shouldn't have said it…I just wanted you to know that you don't have to be scared…and you aren't helpless…or alone…" Slowly, like sunshine breaking over a dark horizon the corners of Alexis' mouth blossomed and her cheeks bloomed and her eyes shone until she burst into her first real smile in the past three months. Jason leaned forward and captured the smile in a kiss, sealing it and making it his. That night, enveloped by the enormous couch with Jason's arms tight around her and his lips on her neck, Alexis fell asleep for the first time in months feeling safe. And loved. The last thing Jason thought before drifting to sleep was that he'd gotten his smile. Tomorrow, he'd work on a laugh. To be continued... Just A Patient Ch. 2 Had he said that? Had he really told Alexis that he loved her? He sure as hell hoped not. It wasn't that he had told her to get her into bed or anything. She was looking at him with that never-ending helplessness on her face and he couldn't stand it. He wanted to see her smile. They were the first words that popped into his head. Hell if he knew if he was in love with her or not. Sure, he thought she was beautiful. And he looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:00 when he could see her. And last night…he was still trying to figure out what he was thinking last night. He never, ever let a relationship with a patient get personal. He might not be a "doctor" but goddamnit, he was a professional. As Jason Stillwell looked at the girl sleeping in his arms he admitted to himself that she was the only patient he'd had in his three short years as a therapist that had tested his willingness to be a professional. Okay. So. When she woke up he would apologize and then explain, very professionally, that whatever had started to happen last night could not continue to happen. It just couldn't. She was a patient. Just a patient. *************** Alexis Starger couldn't remember the last time she had slept this peacefully. Or when her bed had been this comfortable. And then she remembered. Willing her eyes to stay closed she listened to the rhythm of Jason's breathing. He was awake. What would he be like now that the sense of urgency of last night was over? Deep down, Alexis knew he didn't mean it when he said he loved her. How could he? He knew too much about what happened to her. Still, it was nice that he at least cared enough to want to make her feel better. Because she also knew he wasn't trying to get her into bed. She wasn't so naïve that she believed a man knowing her past could want her. Sooner or later she was going to have to open her eyes. It just felt so nice to lay with him on his wonderful couch with his arms around her, feeling his breath on her neck and pretending…pretending it was real. Trying to make it seem as if she was waking up slowly, Alexis shifted her weight and turned toward Jason. As she did his hand shifted to her breast. Rather than flinch away as they both expected her too, she lay perfectly still. He hadn't moved his hand or made any noise or movement to indicate that he even knew where his hand was. Maybe he was really asleep. It really wasn't all that bad. She knew Jason would never hurt her. She decided to press her luck. Shifting again she moved her head back so that her lips brushed up the length of his neck. His head seemed to shift down at the same time so her lips rested in the curve under his. She could feel his arms tighten around her. Before she could stop herself she opened her eyes. ****************** How the hell was he supposed to act like a professional with his hand on her breast and her lips all over him? When she moved the first time, Jason willed himself to keep still in case he woke her up. Besides, it wasn't all that bad having his hand laying on a breast he'd dreamed about…anyway, when her lips began trailing up his neck he began weighing the pros and cons of seducing a patient. He tilted his head slightly to look at her and her lips nestled just below his. Instinctively he started to pull her to him when she opened her eyes. "'Morning," she whispered. Damnit, there it was again! That sad, helpless look that she wore like a mask. He remembered that a few hours ago he had made her smile. And that he had promised himself to have her laughing this morning. Before he answered her he tilted his head down so that he was staring at his own chest and pointedly avoiding her face. "'Morning." ****************** She noticed his blatant attempts not to look at her. "What's wrong?" she asked against her better judgement. She knew they were eventually going to have to have this conversation and she'd rather it be sooner than later. She fully expected to hear something along the lines of, "Well…it's just that…last night was a mistake." What she got was, "Well…it's just that…your breath…it smells really bad. Really…bad." It took her tired brain a few seconds to comprehend that he had really just made a comment about the state of her breath. Then she noticed the grin spreading across his face and grinned herself. Then she put both hands on his chest and slid them up to his shoulders until he finally looked up at her. Then she pushed him, as hard as she could, off the couch. It was the look of utter amazement on his face as he lay sprawled on the floor, still fully clothed, one leg still hooked onto the couch, that caused her to burst out laughing. ******************* He did it. He made her laugh. And if it took a bruised ass and a flesh wound to his male pride to make her laugh like that, then so be it. "You know, that's the first time I've ever heard you laugh." He knew it was the wrong thing to say before he said it. It brought back to many memories of last night and the discussion he was hoping to postpone. He didn't know why he said it. It just came out. Seemed to be happening a lot lately. Sure enough, the minute the stupid words popped out of his stupid mouth, the laughter stopped and the smile disappeared from her eyes. Sitting up, she crossed her legs and stared down at her hands, waiting for him to say it first. He obliged her. "So…you know we have to talk about what happened last night." "Yeah." "And you know that we can't…" "Yeah, I know." "It's not that I don't…find you attractive or…" "Jason. I know. I get it." Then she stood up and walked to the phone in the kitchen. Somehow he didn't think she got it at all. "Who are you calling?" "A friend. She'll come and pick me up, bring me to my car." Now he knew she didn't understand. He didn't want to not be with her. It had nothing to do with her. It was just too complicated. He pushed himself off the floor, intending to explain. "Look, Jason. Really. I do get it. I know you didn't mean what you said last night and I understand why you said it. But, I still have to come to therapy. We still have to see each other twice a week and…I don't want it to be weird. So…thank you for giving me a ride and letting me dump on you, and…let's just leave it at that, okay? He could tell from the tone of her voice and the determination in her face that she wouldn't listen to anything he had to say right now. "Fine. But…at least let me drive you back to your car. Come on." After a few seconds she put down the phone and grabbed her purse from the dining room table. The ride back to the hospital parking garage was quiet. Jason didn't know how to approach the subject and Alexis obviously wasn't in the mood to talk. When they reached her car and she started to open the door he figured he'd give it another try. "Lex." She turned around and that was it. He didn't mean to kiss her. He wasn't even thinking about kissing her. But he did. ********************* Alexis didn't know why she was upset. Last night didn't even seem real. All she wanted to do was go home, bury herself in her bed and forget about it. Then he kissed her. "Lex." When she turned around she knew it was a mistake. Her eyes seemed to pull her in. It was always the eyes. It was almost as if they were asking her permission. Before she had time to form a reply, they (and apparently the rest of him) had made up their mind and Jason leaned across the seat and pressed his lips to hers. Fighting back never even crossed her mind. Her hands went around his neck and she let him back her into the door with his body, pulling him closer. The kiss that had started out almost hesitantly was now becoming almost frantic. With his hands cupping her face, Jason sucked on her bottom lip before moving down to the curve of her neck. Sliding his lips down to the hollow of her throat, he kissed the pulse that was beating almost out of control. Her fingers were tangled in his sandy hair, clutching his head to her when she realized what she was doing. Reaching behind her, Alexis grabbed the door handle and turned it more forcefully than she had intended. She fell back, catching herself before she fell out of the car on her ass, and Jason's head was buried in her breasts in the few seconds it took him to realize what happened. "Shit. Alexis…" She didn't wait to hear what he had to say. Grabbing her purse she jumped out of the car and slammed the door, getting into her own car. As she sped out of the parking garage she burst into tears. To be continued… ****Will Jason "fix" Alexis? What will happen at the next therapy session? Who really killed JFK? Find out in the next installment...Feedback and ideas welcome.****