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If That's Your Excuse

By: simplyluvable16



"Have you been to Birnbaum's class yet?" my friend Maggie asked me as she ran up in the library. I glanced up from the book I was reading for class with a confused look. Maggie was never what you would call an academic, so her having any interest in a class was a one in a million shot.

"Uh.. no. Why? Should I be worried or something?" 

She shook her head as if in amazement and said ", Lexi, that is the hottest teacher on this side of the planet!"

Maggie has always had a tendency to over exaggerate, so I didn't take her too seriously as I shut my book. "This side of the planet," I repeated with a teasing smile.

"Lexi you have no idea!" "I left his class like ten minutes ago, and I'm pretty sure my heart's still beating too fast."

At this, I had to laugh. "Alright Maggie, but if he isn't all that you promise, we are going to have a problem." 

She shoved me with a smile and walked back towards the exit, probably already late for the next class she was supposed to be in. "You'll see," she called over her shoulder as she walked out the door. 

I grabbed the rest of my books that were spread out across the table and sat still for a moment, glad to take a rest. Senior year has been killing me slowly, and it won't get any better now that there's a new business class added onto second semester. School's never come easy for me, but I've always managed to pull through with good grades. People have always been surprised when they heard about the kind of classes I took. I guess my appearance doesn't really fit the schedule. Don't get me wrong, I'm no supermodel or anything, but the words cute and adorable have been used to describe me more often then I can count. Mostly, I'm average. Brown hair, more on the skinny side, but with curves. The only thing that I really like about my appearance is my eyes. They are green blue, and not trying to be vain or anything, but I think they are pretty. 

After thinking about all of the stuff I would have to bring home for tomorrow's classes, I decided to just go down and grab some lunch in the cafeteria. At the speed I was getting through Calculus, it'd probably end up being my only meal for the rest of the day. I grudgingly grabbed the rest of my books and walked into the hallway.

*CRASH* "Dammit," I cursed under my breath as I picked up the remains of my full cup of coffee from the classroom floor. "So much for a pick me up," I muttered. After going through the routine of introductions with the first few periods of Business, I could tell already it was going to be a long year. Most of the kids in this school knew nothing at all about the subject, and even worse it seemed that none of them cared. 

Tossing the ceramic pieces in the trash, I glanced up at the clock, seeing that I had just about enough time to go back to the teacher's lounge and try again with that coffee. I stood up from behind the desk and started walking down the hallway. 

Because of the schedule this school ran on, there always seemed to be some kids at their lockers, especially around this time of day. I got a few appraising glances from some senior girls at their lockers. Trying to avoid any eye contact, I headed straight for the lounge three doors down. I'm not an idiot; I can tell what these girls are thinking. New male teacher under the age of 30 who isn't balding and or fat. I guess I'm not normally what's expected of a teacher. Blond hair and blue eyes at the young age of 26, I wasn't what most students or teachers expected. I've always tried to not let my age influence others' opinions, but even all the hard work I've put in so far hasn't stopped the questioning looks I get whenever I walk into a school building. Besides trying to prove myself I also had to make sure that these girls didn't do anything more then stare. If there was ever any reason to think I had a relationship with a student, in combination with my age, I'd be fired faster then I could even start to explain. I ducked into the teacher's lounge and headed straight for the coffee machine knowing how close I was cutting it now. If I didn't hurry, I wouldn't be in the classroom till after the bell rang, which would look great to a group of kids, who I expected to be on time. Filling a cup I headed back out the door.

Opening my eyes slowly, I tried to remember where I was. Looking around I quickly realized I'd fallen asleep in the cafeteria. Quickly I sat up and glanced around embarrassed, praying that nobody noticed. None of my friends were really in this lunch, so I'd just grabbed a two-seat table in the corner to eat as fast as possible. I reached into my bag hanging off my chair and checked my phone's time, still not completely awake. The display read 12:10. 

"Oh crap," I mumbled rapidly grabbing my bag and making a run for the stairs. The bell rings for 6th hour at 12:15, and I'd be lucky to make the bell let alone be early, as I had hoped I would be. I ran down to senior hall bumping into a few people and mumbling apologies, but with no time to actually mean it. 

Dropping my text book, I turned around to pick it up and standing up quickly, I slammed into someone knocking them to the ground. I heard a splash of liquid, but it all happened with my back turned, so I couldn't tell who it was. I hesitated for a second, knowing that I should stop, but if I was late for this class, whoever this Mr. Birnbaum was would already have a reason to hate me. 

I shouted a quick apology over my shoulder and ran into the classroom. Because I was so late, the only open seats were within the first two rows, so I grabbed a front row seat, looking around for the teacher that Maggie had been babbling about earlier. But the only people in the class were students. Letting out a breath as I finally calmed down, I pulled out my books and waited.

"You have got to be kidding me," I mumble as I stand up. Looking down, I can see that my new oxford, which of course I bought in white, now had a huge coffee circle right in the middle of it. Shaking my head I tried to recall what happened. All I saw was a flash of brown hair and a green hoodie then *smack* I was down. I might have heard an apology, but I didn't even see a face. Muttering under my breath, I stood up with my once again empty-but not broken- coffee cup and headed down to my classroom. Already, I tried to work on a story I could give, or maybe even a way to joke it off, but nothing came to mind. I walked in the door, through which I could hear loud conversations until I entered the room.

"Good afternoon class"

I looked up from my textbook at the voice. A couple of thoughts struck me at once. I would have to tell Maggie that she'd been absolutely right. This guy was amazingly good looking. But at the same time my jaw dropped when I saw the large and still soaking wet coffee stain on the front of his shirt. I could almost feel the heat in my cheeks as I stared, unable to move or say anything. Then all of a sudden I looked up at his face about the same time he glanced over at me, and I could see the realization click in his mind. 

"Oh My God," I said quickly.

After finally walking in and saying hello to everyone, I noticed this girl staring in the front row. Come on now, it's just a stain I thought to myself. But then I noticed the bright green sweatshirt and the brown hair. Finally I understood. I heard her mumble something and she immediately starting blushing and looked down at the textbook on her desk, as if suddenly fascinated.

Trying to shake it off, I started to continue talking. "As you guys may know, my name's Mr. Birnbaum and I'm going to be your Business teacher for this semester. Now I saw a couple of you noticed my shirt, and this wasn't really what I intended to look like for the first day. But I had an unpleasant run in with the coffee maker, so I apologize."

I heard a few laughs and saw some smiles, but I got no reaction from the brunette, who was still clearly very interested in her desk. Even I had to smile at her reaction, though I tried to make it seem like it was for the rest of the class.

"Well anyways, I thought I'd start off today's class by taking some attendance. Now I know that most teachers are big on seating charts, but I don't really know you enough yet to do that, so I want you guys to stay in the seats you are in now, at least for the time being. I'm going to go through my roster, and just shout it out when I get to your name, alright?"

Scanning down the list, I started to go through names, trying to figure out who this girl was in the front and trying out every name on her as I said it out loud. Brianna? No, she really didn't look like a Brianna. Michelle? No not really either. As I got midway down the list, I started to go a little faster, already being able to tell that this was boring them. "Alexis Green?"

All of a sudden her eyes popped up, and I caught my breath, which I tried to play off as a cough. This girl had the most amazing eyes I'd ever seen. Green and blue... it was incredible. I was shook out of my thoughts when I heard a soft voice say ", Actually it's Lexi." I shook my head and said ", Oh alright, hi Lexi." I smiled at her, trying to let her know that it was ok, and she gave me a nervous smile back, but again looked down at the books on her desk. 

I ran through the student roster, and we started getting packets passed out. The rest of the class was pretty uneventful and as the bell was about to ring, I assigned an introduction chapter due Wensday, which of course was met with groans of displeasure.

If That's Your Excuse Ch. 02



I sat for the rest of the class, pretty sure that the embarrassed blush I had gotten when he first walked into the room never went away. For a second when he'd said my name he'd looked at me and smiled, and I'd been surprised. Most of the teachers, or anyone for that matter, would have probably been pissed off after what I did. I mean it wasn't on purpose or anything, but that didn't matter. Either way, I knew I'd have to apologize to him at the end of class, even if it was just to ease my conscience. I spent most of the period figuring out how to word my apology so it didn't come out sounding stupid or fake, but by the time the bell rang I still had no idea what to say. As everyone started to file out of the classroom, I stayed at my desk, just stacking up my books. He sat down behind his desk as the rest of my class left, and he didn't seem to notice I hadn't gone until I finally shuffled up to desk. He glanced up and then smiled.

"Ah Lexi, wasn't it?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "Look Mr. Birnbaum I just wanted to apologize... you know for earlier in the hallway. I swear I didn't do it on purpose, I was just running late and I know I should have stopped, but I didn't want to make a bad impression on you for the first day.' 

I finished my speech and let out a breath, waiting to hear the verdict on all of this.

After waiting a few seconds to make sure I'd finished, he smiled again. Every time he smiled it seemed so.. genuine. I don't know why, but it seemed contagious. 

"Lexi, look I really appreciate you taking the time to apologize, but I promise I'm not mad. Like you said it was an accident and I do get the whole running late part, because if I hadn't have been, I would have noticed you standing in the hallway and we wouldn't have crashed. So please don't worry about it, alright?"

Relieved after hearing how honest he sounded, I gave him my first real smile. 

"Oh thank you Mr. Birnbaum I really appreciate it and I promise I won't happen again. Well, at least I'll try." I glanced up at the clock on the wall, my smile dropping. " I kind of have to go, I have to get to my next period. But thank you for understanding." I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door. 

"Bye," I say with a wave and walk out.

"Bye Lexi," I called back as she walked out the door. There was something about her. I couldn't really place it, but she seemed special. I shake my head quickly, trying to get back to work. First day, and I'm already picking out favorite students, I joke to myself.

After a long day of classes, I headed home and had a drink, heading off to bed. I was already exhausted, and it was only Monday. I changed into boxer shorts and a t-shirt, and climbed into bed. Before I fell asleep, I could almost picture Lexi's face in my head as I drifted off.

I decided to stay in library through lunch today, trying to memorize the chapter for Business class. I figured after embarrassing myself the first day, I should probably make sure it didn't happen again. As I thought about class, my thoughts drifted to Mr. Birnbaum. He had been just as cute as Maggie had said. And more, really. It was strange for me though, because even though I'm a teenage girl and I'm always watching for cute guys, I've never really been one to like older guys, especially teachers. But I don't like him I corrected myself. I'm just.... Agreeing with Maggie's opinion. Sure that was logical. I've gone out with guys before. Just nobody I really cared about, and we really never did anything. Speaking in baseball terms, I hadn't gone past first. Not that it really bothered me. I've never been one of those girls who went around bragging about how far they'd gone and with who. It was never that important to me I guess. 

After reading the chapter as many times as I could take, I glanced up at the clock. I decided I'd go a few minutes early today, hoping to change his opinion of me. Slinging my book bag over my shoulder, I walked out of the library down to Senior hall.

I started copying notes on the board, from a notebook on my desk. Today would really be the first official class, since the past few had really only been introduction days. Last night I'd been exhausted, but I'd still dreamed. And I could still picture Lexi's face. I didn't know why I couldn't get it to leave my head. It must have just been pure exhaustion and thinking about that dumb shirt, which probably still had a stain on it, even though I must have washed it three times already. 

After a minute of this, I finally looked up and realized I'd written the same note on the board four times. I started to erase the last couple of lines when I heard someone walk into the room behind me. I turned around quickly to see Lexi sitting down at her desk in the front. I noticed today though that she seemed to be carrying her whole day's worth of books.

I smiled and pointed at the bag. "Teachers giving you a hard time?'

She smiled back, seeming a little more sure of herself today. 

"No. Just me giving myself a hard time."

I turned around surprised by her answer. "You mean you voluntarily bring all that with you?'

"Well yeah. Otherwise I'd have no way of getting everything done that I have to. My schedule is a tad overloaded this year."

"Oh yeah? What are you taking?" I walked around the front of my desk and leaned against it.

She thought for a second and then started ticking classes off on her fingers.

"Spanish 4, Calculus, Honors Government, Chemistry, AP Literature, and, well, Business." She brushed some hair off of her face.

I didn't say anything, stunned into silence. 

"You're taking all of those classes? In just this year?"

She nodded.

"Wow that... wow. I never would peg you as an academic."

She fidgeted in her chair, and seemed annoyed with my answer.

"Oh, thanks I guess."

I could tell I made her mad, so I quickly tried to correct myself.

"No don't get me wrong-it's not that you seem stupid or anything, it's just that you look good." 

Even as I said the words out loud I tried to take them back. She immediately blushed and ducked her head with an embarrassed cough.

Shit how stupid am I, I thought to myself. 

"Well I mean you just don't look unorganized or anything- like you would if you were taking too many difficult classes," I finished quickly, sounding like a complete idiot as I tried to cover my ass.

"Right. Um.. ok," She mumbled back clearly seeing through my cover. 

Before I could even begin to change the subject, some kids started filing into the room, too warped in their own conversations to notice the obvious embarrassment on both of our faces. I stepped around my desk and sat down giving fake smiles as the class filled up.

Once the bell rang I started talking about the introduction chapter. After a few minutes of noticing some blank stares I asked for a show of hands of who actually read the chapter. Only two or three went up, and one of them was Lexi's. I decided to cut the class a break and didn't give a pop quiz, though that's usually how I'd get kids to read the homework. I said I'd talk about the chapter, and I asked for a volunteer to copy the rest of my notes onto the board, a bunch of hands shot up, but none of them who actually read the chapter. 

"Lexi, would you mind writing up here?' I asked trying to end this awkward feeling between us.

She looked up and nodded, though she obviously didn't want to. 

Unfortunately, I was one of the only few who actually did the homework, not like that surprised me. So it made sense that he picked me, but I didn't like it anyway. I walked up slowly as if to my death. He held out a notebook, which I grabbed from him, our fingers brushing for a second. I could feel the warmth of his hand, even though it was only a few seconds. 

"Thanks," he said, trying to continue to teach.

I rubbed my hand for a second, but went and started writing on the board. He took notes by hand, so I had some trouble making out the words. After a few minutes of hearing him get more and more frustrated with the unresponsive class, he finally just told them to read the intro chapter themselves. Once all the books were open the room was quiet. 

Finally, after a minute of trying to decipher a sentence, I turned around. 

"Uh, Mr. Birnbaum? Can you tell me what this says?" 

He looked up from some paper he was reading with an embarrassed smile. 

"Yeah sorry about that, I don't really have the neatest handwriting." 

He walked over standing next to me.

"Which part?" He asked.

Now that I was this close to him, I could smell his cologne. It made it hard to focus.

"Um.. this sentence," I mumbled finally getting the words out.

He leaned over my shoulder, looking like he was having trouble reading his own writing. I tried to suppress a laugh, biting my lip and broke out in a grin.

He looked over at me with a confused look. 

"What's so funny," he asked.

"You can't even tell what it says can you," I asked teasing him.

He smiled and said ", Well you know there aren't many great teachers in history who had readable writing."

I smiled again.

"If that's the excuse you want to go with, I'll buy it."

"Thanks for understanding," he said taking the notebook back from me. "I won't subject you to my scribbling anymore. Thank you Lexi."

"No problem," I said with a smile, as I nudged his shoulder and walked back to my desk.



If That's Your Excuse Ch. 03



I smiled as she sat down. Again I had that same feeling I'd had yesterday, that there was something special about her. She was just different from most of the girls at this school. In the two days I'd been there, I'd met the entire Senior class, and most of those girls seemed like carbon copies of each other. But that shouldn't surprise me. I mean, it's just as true for life outside of high school. I think what did surprise me was her reaction to me saying she didn't look like an academic. Most girls would take that as a compliment, like I was saying she was pretty. But Lexi took it as a slap in the face. Her grades must be important to her, I thought. 

Standing next to her just now had been more difficult then I thought possible. I could smell her sweet perfume, and it was addicting. Also, when she bit her lip- something about that action seemed so cute, especially since Lexi was the one doing it. Usually, I have no problem reading my handwriting, sloppy as it might be. But being close to her, I just couldn't concentrate on my words. I was relieved she just assumed it was poor handwriting and not what it actually was. I realized something as I was sitting at my desk: I was just turned on by a high school student. And not just in the physical way. I mean there were tons of beautiful girls at this high school. But each and every one of them might as well be wearing shirts that said "jail bait" or "unemployment." But whatever was so special about Lexi... it just made me forget about everything else. And I couldn't do that. I'd worked way too hard to get the position I had, and I couldn't mess it up, especially not over a girl. I decided I'd have to treat her as any other student, even if that meant ignoring her completely. It wasn't something I wanted to do, but after today, I didn't see any other way around it. I couldn't risk my career over something like this.

I walked out of class on Friday still confused. When I got there early the past few days, Mr. Birnbaum hadn't been in the room. He didn't end up showing until right before the bell rang. I thought that had been strange, but the rest of the class was usually even worse. Even though I was sure he knew I'd done the homework, he kept overlooking my answers to the questions he asked. In addition to all this, he rarely looked up from what he was doing, and when he did he always seemed to have his back turned to me or be looking in an opposite direction. When it had first happened a few days ago, I'd just assumed it was a fluke or something, and that he'd get back to normal the next day. But now, almost a week later, he hadn't. Apparently this was the new normal. And this seemed to be the new treatment I was getting. It kind of hurt actually. That one-day we'd actually talked, I thought I might have found a teacher that I actually liked and respected, but I guess I must have been wrong. He'd been kind and seemed willing to listen to me. I'd decided yesterday that if today's class went as bad as the last couple had, that I would try and transfer out. Today had been just as awkward if not more so. As I walked into the hallway, I went down to the students' office to see if my counselor could get me out of it.

The past few days had been awful. Everyday that Lexi came into class, she looked more and more disappointed. I felt bad, but what else could I do? If I acted like someone she could talk to, I'd have to be awkward around her and hide that I was clearly attracted to her. But it seemed better then what I was doing right now, which was making me feel like a ten year old trying to hide from his "girlfriend." Even though every voice in my head was screaming at me not to, I'd look at her every once and a while. She always seemed to be so focused. She was just mature for her age. Like she was beyond all of the high school stuff already.

Running a hand through my hair, I went back to grading papers at my desk. With all the thinking I'd been doing lately, it'd been hard to concentrate in class, so I'd assigned a rather large essay about the American Business structure, which at least kept me from sounding stupid to the kids in the class, when I forgot what I was talking about in the middle of a lecture. All of a sudden I heard a knock at the door and looked up.

"Mr. Birnbaum?" The lady asked. I recognized her as the counselor's secretary. 

"Uh..yes. Can I help you?" I asked, not entirely sure why she'd be here.

"Mr. Bryant would like to see you in your next available free period. He wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yes.. of course. I have 5th hour free."

"Alright I'll let him know to expect you."

She turned around and walked back down the hallway. I tried to figure out why I'd been called down. Aside from schedule stuff, the counselors helped with colleges, but I didn't see what that could have to do with me. The day went on rather quickly after that, but surely only because I was dreading this meeting. When the bell for 4th hour rang, I waited until the students had left my class, and shutting the door behind me, I headed down to the office. This was like high school all over again.

I stepped into the office knocking on the door as I entered. 

"You wanted to see me Mr. Bryant?"

"Yes please come in---do you mind if I just call you Ben?

"Not at all."

"Alright. Well Ben I just got out of a meeting with one of your students looking to transfer out of the class. Alexis Green. She said she was having trouble in the class; struggling with assignments, stuff like that. This is just a routine we go through, when a student wishes to transfer out, I just like to talk to the teacher, get their feedback on the situation." He finished his speech watching me across the desk.

I coughed, a little uncomfortable. So she tried to transfer out? I guess I wasn't being too subtle with my ignoring plan.

"Well, Mr. Bryant I don't know if she is necessarily struggling in my class, but I did notice that she seemed to have a lot on her plate class wise, so it wouldn't be a problem if she felt the need to transfer out." 

I tried to sound sure of myself, and at the same time not sound like I wanted her out of my class, even though right now it seemed like the best solution. 

He leaned back in his chair, seeming to think this over. After a minute, he started to talk again.

"Ben, if this is true, then I'm going to have to ask you to do me a favor. Would you mind having a meeting with her one on one? Maybe the two of you can figure out what to do. I have no problem transferring her. Lexi Green is one of the best students in this school, so if she wants to switch, I'd assume it was for a perfectly logical reason."

I tapped my pen nervously on my desk, glancing up at the clock. Today, I'd run out of homework to do, which was a miracle in and of itself. But of course, that left me extra time. Before, I probably would have just gone to Mr. Birnbaum's class early, but after the past few days, I didn't think that was the best idea. There were only ten minutes left in the period, so I decided I'd go try and see Mr. Bryant again. I'd had a meeting with him already today. I tried to make it seem that I was having trouble with Mr. Birnbaum's class, that way I could just claim an academic reason. It seemed simple, but Mr. Bryant had pestered me with questions, and then said he'd have to "get some information" before he could give me an answer. I had no idea what that meant. Maybe he'd finished thinking about it. As I got up to the offices, I knocked on the door as I heard voices inside. I heard someone call, so I opened the door.

"Hey Mr. Bryant, I was wondering if you'd had a chance-----"

I stopped mid-sentence when the person in the visitor's chair turned around and I saw it was Mr. Birnbaum. 

When I turned around my breath caught in my throat. Why was it that we always seemed to be in the same place? This school wasn't that small.

She looked like a combination of nervous, embarrassed, and nauseous. I probably looked the same. Finally she reached for the door again, as she said

"Oh, I didn't know you were busy in here, I can just come back later."

She stepped back quickly to shut the door, as Mr. Bryant stopped her.

"Lexi wait. I was just informing Ben—I mean Mr. Birnbaum that you were looking to transfer. But your stories don't match up as well as I'd like them to. He claims you're doing fine with the material. There might just be some crossed signals. I was looking for you two to schedule a meeting. Maybe figure out what the problem is?"

I could see her trying to find an excuse, and I hoped she did since I'd spent the last ten minutes trying to think of one myself. I'd spent the last few minutes trying to convince Mr. Bryant that if she wanted to transfer, I'd just sign the papers and she could leave without a problem. But he was very persistent about this meeting. He believed "student teacher relationships are very important at this school." He failed to see the irony.

Finally Lexi cleared her throat and said, "I guess that would be fine. I can stay after today if that's ok with you?" She made the first careful eye contact we'd had in over a week.

"Today would be.. fine." I finally finished.

"Great!" Mr. Bryant says. "Well Lexi, if that was all you can return to class and Mr. Birnbaum, I'm sure you have some work to get done."

I stood up as she turned around and walked out the door. We walked out of the office in silence, and once we were in the hallway, she finally turned to look at me.

"So... is there any particular reason you hate me? 

Surprised, I stopped walking and turned back. 

"What are you talking about?"

She crossed her arms and looked up at me.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Since I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong, I was just wondering why all of a sudden I made your black list?"

"Lexi come on don't be ridiculous. I just had a bad week, and I wasn't usually in a good mood when it came to class." The explanation sounded like the horrible lie it was. And by the expression she gave me, I guess she could read through it too.

Without any emotion in her voice she looked up at me with a dark glare and said ", If that's the excuse you want to go with, I'll buy it."

Then she turned around and walked off.

I just stood where I was for a minute, stunned, before I headed off towards my next class.

I stormed off towards my locker, completely confused. And not just about Mr. Birnbaum. I mean I could tell that what he said was a lie and it makes sense that it annoyed me, but I just had a completely ridiculous reaction. I seemed to care way too much for it just to be about a teacher ignoring me. In any of the free time I'd had in the past couple days, all I'd been able to do was think about what do do. But I had to stop wondering about it. It just created way too many questions. All I know is that after that conversation, today's meeting just got tense. 

All day I kept sneaking glances at the clock. It seemed like it couldn't go any slower. I knew that this was going to be hard to explain, but I also knew I had to get this over with and give her an actual answer this time. I couldn't possibility think of an explanation that I could give that she'd accept. Except the truth, a voice in the back of my head said. But I didn't know if that was even possible. The truth would lead to way to many unanswered questions. Finally after watching the clock all day, the bell finally rang for 8th hour. As the students walked out I started putting books away and gathering up my papers. I could always hear senior hall filter out quickly. They didn't like being in the building for any extra time then was required. That's why when Lexi walked in the door, before she even had to knock I turned around.

I gave her a small smile and said ", Hi."

"Hey." 

She finally said back, still giving me that glare from earlier.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, I coughed and asked her to sit down.

She pulled a chair up in front of my desk. I didn't like her so close, but I couldn't very well tell her that. After she got settled, she looked up at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

I ran a hand through my hair nervously, took a deep breath and jumped in.

"Look Lexi, I know I owe you an apology. I lied to you earlier when I said that I was in a bad mood all week. But I figure you already knew that. I was just uncomfortable around you."

I stopped talking for a moment and looked at her for a reaction. Her face simply registered confusion.

"Uncomfortable?"

"Yes. It's just this is my first actual teaching job, and I'm still figuring out the boundaries with students. I think that I should be just your teacher. Not your friend. And after the first couple of classes, it seemed we were going down that path. I just didn't want any of the staff to get the wrong idea."

I hated the way I sounded right now. At least I wasn't lying to her anymore. Everything I was saying was true, it just wasn't the way I wanted to tell her. I couldn't even be her friend, at least not if I wanted to keep my job.

After a few second of her seeming to think things over, the expressionless face she'd been maintaining for the last few days melted away. But in its place, I could see hurt and anger before she even started speaking. She grabbed her bag and stood up before she finally made eye contact with me.

"You know what Mr. Birnbaum, you're absolutely right. It would be bad for you if the other teachers thought you actually were a human being, instead of a jackass who only cared about his paycheck. I'm sorry I ever thought that we actually could be friends, or even--."

She cut herself off, blushing quickly. You could tell she let something slip she didn't want to. Biting her lip, she slung her bag over her shoulder. 

"Or even what?"

I asked, unable to stop myself.

She looked up at me, blushing.

"Nevermind it doesn't even matter anymore. I'll be sure to tell Mr. Bryant that we worked everything out. I wouldn't want him to think less of you because of my mistake. See you tomorrow."

At this, she turned around and walked out. I sat at my desk once again just stunned by her upset reaction.



If That's Your Excuse Ch. 04



I walked out of the room as fast as I could. I can't believe I almost told him I liked him. I mean, I'd barely realized it, and I almost blurted it out in between calling him a jackass and storming out of the classroom. I tried to think if I'd ever yelled at a teacher before, or even got mad at one. Right now, my head was just a combination of frustration and embarrassment. I felt tears prickling in my eyes and I angrily brushed them away with the back of my hand as I went to my locker, quickly spinning the combination. The sooner I got my stuff the sooner I could leave. Grabbing my purse and jacket out of my locker I could feel my phone vibrating from the inside. I pulled it out, checking the screen. It said I had 5 new texts. Confused, I flipped it open, finding they were all from Maggie and said basically the same thing:

Cheer practice cancelled. Had to give rides to Meg, Sarah, and Kim. Txt me if you need a ride.

The last one she'd sent had been over an hour ago. I cursed under my breath. She must have left already. Dumping my stuff back into my locker, I grabbed my phone, dialing my house and prayed that someone was home.

After spending a good ten minutes kicking myself for being such an inconsiderate ass and making a girl cry, two things which I tried my best to stay away from, I started packing up to go home. Or maybe to the bar, I could really use a stiff drink at the moment. Something that could dull the rest of my senses, which of course were all on high alert right now. The worst part of it all was that she'd been brutally honest, and from what I'd known about her, she didn't do it very often. She'd called me a jackass, and I'd definitely deserved it. The only thing that had shocked me was that she planned to stay in the class. And just so I didn't look bad with Mr. Bryant. I wouldn't have blamed her if she'd gone and told Bryant that I'd made a pass at her or something. As soon as I thought about it, a shiver went up my back. But I would never do that I said to myself, more to reinforce the idea than anything else. I grabbed my jacket off the wall with my messenger bag. Slinging it over my shoulder I checked the clock. It'd been about twenty minutes since Lexi had stormed out of the class. I figured that was enough time to leave. I walked out the door, locking my room behind me. I headed out of senior hall down to the front door. I moved down the steps, when I saw someone sitting on the bench by the sidewalk. As I walked down, I recognized the sweatshirt. I stopped mid-step and swore under my breath. Glancing around I tried to figure a way to get around her. She was sitting right in front of the lot, in which I'd parked front row today. There was no way to avoid her. I might as well just face the music. With a sigh I fixed my jacket to block the cold wind and walked down the rest of the steps up to the bench. She must have heard me coming because as I got close she spun around. When she saw it was me, she dropped her eyes to the ground, and turned her back on me again, crossing her arms. 

"You've gotta be kidding me." She mumbled.

"Wish I was." I said back. 

I noticed her shivering. 

"Where's your ride?"

Without turning around she replied

"No idea. My parents don't really listen to their voice-mail very often, so right now I'd say not until they notice I'm not home. Which won't happen for at least a few hours since neither of them get off till eight."

"Ah. Did you try and call anybody else?"

"Like who? The probably already drunk friends I have? It's a Friday night, nobody is going to drop what they're doing and come back to school."

She shivered again wrapping her arms tighter around her.

I stood there for a minute debating. I felt horrible for what I'd done to her, and I wanted to make it up to her, hope there weren't any hard feelings. But there was still that thought in the back of my head that this was wrong and I could get fired. Finally I stopped, giving in to chance.

"Listen, I know I've been a jackass. And I'm sorry about that. But if you needed a ride home—"

She turned around glaring at me.

"I'll be fine. Plus, wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the school."

There couldn't have been more sarcasm in her voice.

Even though I knew I deserved this, I could feel myself getting frustrated.

"Look, what do you want from me? I try to apologize for what happened and I offer you a ride, and you shove it back like I insulted you or something!"

She stood up, getting just as angry as I now was.

"It is an insult! I don't know if you think I'm some kind of slut or something, but I wouldn't do that. I don't hit on teachers. I don't hit on guys my age for that matter. And maybe it isn't your fault that you didn't know that, but you didn't give me a chance to prove it to you. You just assumed the worst and ignored me. So now I'm supposed to take some fake stupid apology from you and a pity ride and pretend like it makes everything alright?"

My cheeks flushed a little when she started talking, but I could still feel the anger.

"You're right. I didn't know you and I still don't. But if I want to keep my job, I have to assume the worst. I can't give you the benefit of the doubt and just pray that you don't take advantage of that. And I am legitimately sorry for what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you. But if you won't let me try and make up for it, then I can't do anything to fix this and every day is going to just as awkward as this week has been."

Once I'd finished, she didn't say anything at first, seeming to think it over. We sat in silence for a minute. Finally she sighed.

"A ride would be great. Thanks for the offer."

"Uh.. alright. My car is over here."

I was a little shocked at how quickly she'd given in.

The only thought running through my head was I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I was all ready to tell him no and just wait for my parents, but his argument made sense. If I didn't let it go eventually, then the whole year would be awkward and I'd start to hate school. At least this way I got a free ride along with the apology. As we headed down to the car I shivered again. It was way too cold for a spring day. We walked up to the car in silence, but as I climbed in he went digging in the trunk. He came back and got in the car, handing me a sweatshirt.

"Here-you looked cold." 

I was surprised but took it from him pulling it over my head. It smelled good, just like him. I glanced at the front and saw it was an NU sweatshirt.

"Thanks. So you went to NU?"

He turned the car on and pulled out as he smiled to himself.

"Yeah four years of fun. I loved it there."

"That's where I'm looking to go in the fall. I'm just waiting on my letter. I'm supposed to get it in a few weeks."

"That's exciting. You're going to love college. It's the best."

"I don't think I will," I replied unsure.

He looked surprised by my answer.

"Why wouldn't you? It's a time empty of responsibility. You get to do whatever you want. It's the ultimate freedom."

I shifted a little turning towards him.

"Yeah but freedom for what? If you haven't noticed I'm not exactly a party girl. I'll probably spend four years with my head in a book praying for it to be over."

"Have you ever tried that... I mean you know being social with the parties and popularity?"

I shook my head. 

"Not really. I mean it's not that I can't talk to people or anything. And it's not like I haven't been offered, you know? It just isn't me. I'm not like that and I don't think I'd want to be."

He smiled as he kept his eyes on the road and I noticed.

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just... you aren't like most girls your age. I mean when I was in high school, every girl wanted to be the hottest and the coolest. The one that every guy wanted. And you aren't even curious what's it's like, let alone do you want to actually be one of those people. You're just different."

I was a little stunned by his honesty, but I'd started getting used to it. He seemed to do that a lot.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked curiously. 

"Yeah. Definitely. It makes you unique. Not that you weren't already."

He shifted in his seat seeming to be uncomfortable with the conversation he had started.

I gave a small smile, grateful.

"Well thanks. Nobody's really told me that before. I appreciate it."

"Anytime Lexi."

After that, it got quiet in the car and it seemed like our conversation was over. I gave him directions, and soon we were pulling into my neighborhood. Mr. Birnbaum seemed quiet, like he was trying to decide to say something. Finally he spoke.

"Listen Lexi, I heard what you said earlier. About giving you the benefit of the doubt, and I want to be honest with you about this, at least so we can clear the air for this week. I know an explanation has to come with the apology."

We pulled into my driveway, already the sun starting to sink in the sky.

I turned to look at him.

"Alright.. well go ahead then."

He turned the car off, fingering the keys for a minute. 

"So this week I was kind of a jerk, and ignored you. But I didn't do it randomly, and it wasn't because I hated you or anything. What I said before was true, that I could get in trouble if we were friends, but not just because you're a student and I'm a teacher. I just.. have to be careful around you."

He paused again and looked up, as if to judge my reaction so far.

I was still a little confused.

"But I don't understand. If it's not because you're my teacher, why else would you have to be careful?"

I hesitated, knowing now was the time I had to be honest. Finally I took a deep breath and just said it.

"Well, I mean I told you. You're different then any other girl I've ever met... and I mean it obviously isn't a secret that you're pretty and I----

I cut myself off when I looked over at her startled expression. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I'm such an idiot

"Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, just forget I said anything." 

I put the keys back into the slot, expecting her to walk out.

"You think I'm.. pretty?"

I looked up slowly, thinking I couldn't have heard her right. The way she asked sounded... surprised. 

"What?

She blushed a little.

"You think I'm pretty,' She repeated again, this time not a question.

"Well.... Yeah." I replied, surely sounding like I had a handicap or something.

She stopped for a second putting the pieces together.

"So that's why you were ignoring me?"

"Yes it was. Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well.. I just.. I've never really thought that. About me."

I was quickly getting embarrassed as well now.

"Well you are" I said back quietly.

"Oh.. thank you." She said.. seeming awkward.

Before I could say anything, she quickly said "I should probably go.. I'm supposed to have plans with some friends tonight. But thanks for the ride again, and um. Well I'll see you Monday then."

She picked up her bag.

"Alright. Uh... Ok I'll see you on Monday then. Bye Lexi."

She climbed out of the car and mumbled a goodbye before shutting the door. I waited until the door shut behind her before I left.

I hit the wheel a few times. I should have been more careful. Every time I'm around that girl it's like I can't fight this need to be honest with her, even when it means making a huge mistake and possibly blowing it. That settled it. I'd definitely have to go the bar tonight for some serious drinking. My friends Mike and James had been talking about some club opening this weekend. I guess it had some sponsorship from Mike's job, so he could get us in for free and skip all the lines. Originally I'd said probably not, but after this day I needed a drink more then anything else right now. I drove back towards my house dialing Mike's cell as I left the neighborhood.

Once I'd made sure I locked the door, I calmly walked up to my room dropping my stuff. I went over to my bed and stuck my face in a pillow screaming as loud as I could. I was so frustrated with myself. I knew I didn't have a lot of experience with boys, but don't girls have some kind of human instinct to like compliments? It seemed like no matter how many I got from Mr. Birnbaum, I couldn't fight this flustered and embarrassed feeling. I felt like a little girl. I know that's nothing going to come of it, but I could have at least come up with a better reply then thank you. Thank you?!? Really? I fell back on my bed with a sigh. Sometimes I wished I wasn't so careful. Adventurous every once in a while. But I'm boring and predictable. And pretty a voice in the back of my head said. I smiled when I thought about it, but tried to shake it off. I couldn't think about it anymore. Definitely not on Monday. He was just being honest, he wanted to explain the weirdness from this week. He was just being polite I thought. All of a sudden my phone rang from my jacket. I went to reach down and grab it, when I remembered I was still wearing Mr. Birnbaum's sweatshirt. I grabbed my phone from my jacket and saw the call was from Maggie.

"Hey Mags" I say answering the phone.

"Heyy sweets. Sorry about the change of plans. Coach was pmsing or something today and she just called off practice. Thank God. You got home fine right?"

"Oh... yeah someone gave me a ride. I'm fine."

"Oh good. So listen, I don't know if you have any plans for tonight, but me and some of the girls from the squad were thinking of using our fakes to get into Rage tonight."

"Rage?" I asked confused

"Oh yeah it's this new club that opened a few weeks ago. Supposed to be hot."

"I don't know Mags... I mean I wouldn't be able to get in anyway, I don't have a fake, remember?"

"Lexi if we come in as a group of four hot girls, you think they are going to worry about one missing i.d.? Please they'll be begging us to come in."

I started to tell her no, before I thought about it. Wasn't this just what I'd been talking about? Taking a chance and doing something exciting? It wasn't like this was normally me anyway.

"Alright.. I'll go."

"What?" She said sounding surprised.

I smile and say "I'll go to the club."

I heard her laugh through the phone.

"Lexi I'm so glad you're coming! I've been trying to get you to go out for years. Alright so we won't go out till ten, so get at my house at 8."

"Two hours? Why do you want me over two hours before we leave?"

"To get ready silly! So be there. Oh and don't bother bringing anything, I'll lend you some stuff. Sorry Lex, but your clothes won't get you into a 21 and over club." 

She laughs and I laugh with her.

"No argument there. Alright I'll see you then."



If That's Your Excuse Ch. 05



"I can't believe I let you talk me into this," Lexi mumbled again for what seemed like the hundredth time since they left the house.

"I look ridiculous. This is so bad."

Maggie laughed.

"Can you please stop complaining? I made you look hot! You'll see the second we get in here, every head is going to turn. If you'd just take off your stupid jacket!"

"I can't take it off I'm cold. Besides, I'm not interested in advertising to everyone that I look like a hoe."

By the time I got to Maggie's house, she'd already put out five different possibilities for me. I'd assumed they were for her. I really didn't venture outside of simple stuff. I mean I dressed girly, just not low cut tanks and short skirts. Finally Maggie, or "we", had decided on a black tank top that had layers cut low. I had to keep shifting it in order for me not to feel like I was flashing everyone, even though Maggie assured me I wasn't. Along with the black tank, I was in a ripped up white skirt that looked like I cut most of the material off. I kept tugged at the hem of it, hoping that magically it would gain a few inches on the bottom. Maggie of course assured me that the black heels she gave me didn't make my skirt seem shorter. I didn't believe her for obvious reasons. All of this led me to be walking in a cold dark alley as we made our way to the front of the line that supposedly we were going to cut. Don't get me wrong, all of Maggie's friends are gorgeous, but I still didn't think we'd get in. As we rounded the corner and could see the front door, Maggie stopped us, and the girls adjusted hair, added lip gloss, whatever they needed to update. Once Maggie finished she looked at me.

"Come on Lexi lose the jacket. Half the reason we dress like this is to get past the bouncer."

With a sigh I dropped my jacket and held onto it tightly, regretting this whole idea. We all walked the rest of the way to the bouncer who immediately looked up from the list he was checking for a guy in line. Looking up and down at the four of us for a second, he nodded and pulled the rope open to let us aside. With smiles and air kisses, the girls walked in front of me. I followed behind them as we headed in the door.

"Here we go" I mumble

////////////////////////////////////////

"Can I get two beers?" Ben shouted at the girl behind Rage's bar. 

He'd been to a few clubs back in college, but it'd been a while and he'd never been one for nightclubs for the most part. The girl brought the drinks back quickly, since we already had a tab going. I was a round or two behind Mike and James already, but I'd promised the next round if James got shot down by this girl he'd been trying to dance with. Mike and James were both good friends of mine, but when it came to girls, they weren't the brightest. I came back over to the booth table we grabbed in the corner, and of course they were talking to each other and pointing out hot girls in the room.

"I'm telling you man the blonde over there has the best legs in this whole bar," James shouted at Mike, trying to be heard over the blaring speakers.

Mike shook his head.

"Who cares? A good ass is ten times more important. Like the one on that red head over there."

Sometimes I followed their pointless arguments, but I just wasn't interested right now. I took a drink from my half empty bottle. I'd been drinking more then I usually did, but I still couldn't get this afternoon off my mind. It was like I just kept replaying everything. And it didn't get better the more I saw it.

In the middle of an ass vs. legs debate between the two of them all of a sudden I heard them both stop talking, as Mike hit James in the arm and pointed at some girls behind me. 

"Ok so can we just agree on this-that is the hottest girl here?"

James just nodded at first.

"Oh most definitely."

I looked up with a smile to see their expressions.

"You guys actually found a girl you agree on? This has to be some kind of joke?"

Mike shook his head and said, "Dude just look."

I laughed.

"Alright let's see who this unfortunate girl is. She better be perfect."

I take a drink and turn around trying to look through all the people. Then I saw some girls just walking away from the doors, looking a little to young to be in here. Glancing at the faces I stopped on one girl. She looked familiar... really familiar. A lot like Lexi.

I started coughing as my drink goes down the wrong pipe. Oh my god Lexi. Even as I'm choking I can't look away. I've never seen her like this before. I could tell she didn't do it often too as she tugged at the end of her skirt. I let my eyes drop and check her out. She looked.. amazing. Finally I caught my breath. I saw the girls go over into an empty booth on the other side of the room. I turned back around to put my beer down. Mike and James are looking at my expectantly.

"Well?" James finally asks with a smile.

"Uh yeah she's fine. Did you see those other girls she was with? They were pretty hot too." 

They ignored my question with disbelief.

"Fine?" Mike asks. "Just fine? Dude that girl is a Grade A piece of ass. Did you not see her? What I wouldn't give to go home with that."

I stood up quickly and leaned across the table.

"Don't talk about her like that," I said furiously a few inches from Mike's face. 

"Woah man calm down! She's just a girl."

Mike looked at me completely startled, since I'm really not a violent person.

I quickly realized what I'd done and settled down sitting back in my seat embarrassed. 

"Well.. don't talk about girls like that then," I said trying to cover up the burst of anger. 

I couldn't believe I'd just lost control like that. It just.. happened when he started talking about Lexi like some kind of slut. Great, I thought, all I need is more of a reason to think about her tonight. I didn't know what to do. If I talked to her, it'd be awkward, like seeing your teacher outside of school. But if I didn't, she'd stay here all night. And I can't stop every guy from thinking the same thing that Mike and James just were. Finally I decided I had to do it. 

"I'll be right back. There's a girl I want to go talk to," I said, just giving an excuse. 

The guys looked at me surprised but cheered me on as I walked off towards the other side of the club. I edged past some tight groups of people to the girls' booth. Once I got close enough, I took a deep breath and walked slowly over. Lexi's back was turned so she didn't see me come up.

"uh... Hey Lexi" I said loudly.

She must have heard me because she turned around quickly with a smile, then saw it was me. Immediately she seemed to flush in embarrassment. A few of the other girls offered me a smile. I recognized them from the halls, but thank god none from my classes. That could have been hard to explain.

"Hey.. Ben." She replied, avoiding any of the girls recognizing my name. She stood up and edged out of the booth. 

"Hey guys I'm going to go talk to Ben for a minute I'll be right back."

I heard one of the girls shout ", Take your time!" as we walked off and a chorus of laughter.

//////////////////////////////////////////

Lexi flushed evem more as she walked over to a less packed corner of the room with Ben trailing behind her. Once she turned around to face him, he started talking.

"So what are you doing here?"

I fidgeted uncomfortable.

"Well we uh snuck in."

"You what?" Ben almost shouted.

"Do you have any idea what happens if you get caught? Especially with alcohol? Lexi you could go to jail!"

I was a little annoyed by how frustrated he seemed to be with me. Like I was a little kid who didn't listen.

"I'm not stupid Ben I get that. It's not like I do this all the time. It's just something for fun."

"It's Mr. Birnbaum," he corrected automatically, "And it doesn't matter how many times you do it, it only takes once to get caught."

"Ok well unless you want everyone here to figure out you're my teacher I figured Ben might be ok just for now," I said sarcastically.

He glared at me.

"You have to leave now. If you won't do it, I'll get the bouncer to kick you out."

"The bouncer was the one who let me in. He'd get fired if he had to kick me out, since I didn't show him an i.d. in the first place. Besides why do I have to leave? Just because you're here? It's not like I planned to find you or something."

"No Lexi that isn't it. You just said you didn't do this often. So you don't get it. Every guy in here is only looking for one thing, and I'm pretty sure a lot of them are looking to you for it."

I blushed and crossed my arms.

"Fine they can think whatever they want. I can take care of myself."

"Oh you can, can you?"

I nod at him refusing to answer.

"So you know all about date drugs? Or what happens if a guy forces you to leave with him? You can take care of that?"

My hands balled into fists.

"You know what Ben this is none of your business. I can do whatever I want. You aren't my teacher here. So if I want to go have sex with a guy, I will."

I was a little embarrassed at the conversation, especially after the answer I just got, but not enough to stop the anger that was going through me right now, which helped me tell her what I said next.

"I know that isn't you. You wouldn't do something like that."

I glared up at him and refused to let him tell me what to do.

"Oh really? Watch me."

I quickly turned around to walk off, but he grabbed my arm. I turned around and he looked me in the eyes.

"Lex-don't do this," he said quietly. 

"Let go of me," I mumbled looking away. He dropped my arm, and I walked off towards the crowds.

/////////////////////////////////////////

Ben ran a hand through his hair nervously as he watched Lexi walk off.

I can't follow her. She'd just run off and it'd make things worse. But I can't just sit here and let something happen to her. I slowly headed back over to my booth, figuring at least I could watch from a distance, make sure she doesn't get in trouble. 

Mike and James were gone, so I scanned the club trying to find Lexi. Finally I spotted her at the end of the bar, talking to some guy. His back was turned so I couldn't see much. She started to laugh, looking like she was having a good time. After a few minutes, he leaned over and whispered something to her. Her smile dropped and she looked panicky. I swore under my breath praying she'd just walk away. She started to shake her head and stand up, but this guy grabbed her hand and seemed to be convincing her. I could feel myself getting angry, jealous, and protective all at the same time. This girl was in high school. I had no idea what was going on, but I knew I couldn't just sit here and do nothing. I stood up quickly and made my way over to the bar. 

"Excuse me is there a problem here?"

The guy turned around and gave me a dirty look that told me to back off.

"No, no problem. Except maybe you."

Lexi turned to me, still with that nervous look in her eyes. But she tried to play cool.

"Everything's fine Ben.. you can go now."

I knew that everyone wanted me to leave, but I couldn't just walk away. Even if she wouldn't admit it, she was in over her head and I could see that immediately. This guy seemed like an ass anyway. But I couldn't just pull her away. Thinking quickly I walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Well I just wanted to make sure this guy wasn't giving you a hard time babe. You were taking forever with those drinks."

Lexi's face flushed immediately.

The guy looked confused glancing back and forth at us for a moment.

"Wait.. are you two together?"

Lexi jumped in to correct him.

"No actually we—"

I cut her off saying ",We just met a few weeks ago actually. So not yet, but who knows, right?"

I smiled again at the guy while Lexi just gave me a death glare, but at least she stopped trying to correct me.

"You never mentioned a boyfriend," he says looking for Lexi to answer, since apparently he wasn't fond of talking to me.

"I.. well... he isn't my boyfriend. We're just dating."

This guy looked more confused then ever, but he just shrugged.

"Alright..well...whatever then."

He seemed defeated, which gave me the perfect chance to leave.

I pulled her with me as I started to walk off.

"Have a nice night," I called over my shoulder.

/////////////////////////////////

Lexi and Ben walked away from the bar, with his arm still wrapped around her.

I was so frustrated I didn't even know where to start. Once I figured we were far enough away from that guy, I pulled away from him.

"Ben what is your problem?"

'My problem? What the hell is wrong with you?"

"No-Don't turn this around. I didn't just follow you and act like some kind of overprotective parent."

"Lexi it was exactly what I told you. That guy was just going to use you! He was looking for sex."

"I realize that Ben. I'm not five. Just because I'm not a slut doesn't mean I don't understand what guys are looking for."

"Then why were you talking to him? I mean if you wanted to have sex—"

I cut him off saying ", I wasn't going to have sex with him."

I stopped and looked at her confused.

"I don't understand then."

I took a deep breath, hoping I could get this out.

"I was trying.. I was trying to make you jealous."

I looked away, a little embarrassed, but I had to tell him. Being near that creep was horrible for every second, but Ben kept looking over, so it was worth it. I could tell it was making him crazy. At least now that it was out, I wouldn't have to keep lying. But I don't know what I'm expecting him to do now, besides maybe laugh in my face.

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Oh. Well, it worked. I wanted to beat the crap out of that guy when he touched you."

He looked a little nervous as he said this, like he was as unsure as I was.

"It did?''

He nodded sheepishly. I blushed a little.

We were quiet for a minute, just standing there. 

'So what happens now?" I finally asked him.

"I don't know. I've kind of spent the past few weeks trying to not think about stuff like this, so I've never really figured out how this turns out."

I wanted to ask him about that, but I figured it could wait. I didn't want to get into details right now. 

"We could dance," I offer, just trying to keep a conversation going now.

He looks up for a second before responding.

"I'd like that," he replied with a small smile.

////////////////////////////

This almost didn't feel real. Like those last few seconds of a dream that seems like reality till you really think about it. But even though I kept thinking about it, the picture in front of me wasn't changing. We walked over to the dance floor as the DJ changed to a slow song. 

We stopped and looked at each other for a second. I reached my arms around her waist.

She wrapped her arms around my neck. We started to dance, moving back and forth but still with plenty of space between us. I didn't want to jump into anything. I mean, we still hadn't talked about it, I didn't know what she was thinking. All I knew was that I liked being close to her right now.

I didn't really know what the next move was; it wasn't exactly like I'd gone through experiences like this in the past. She seemed a little nervous, but she didn't seem to want to pull away either. It was funny how different the perspectives were, but we seemed to be on the same page.

Trying not to stare, I kept glancing down at her. All of sudden she started acting strange. She kept closing her eyes and her movements slowed down.

"Hey Lexi? You ok?"

She looked up with glazed eyes.

"Uh..yeah I'm fine.. I think"

I stopped dancing and looked down concerned. She didn't seem fine.

"Are you sure? You don't look so great?"

"I'm just.. sleepy a little." 

She started to slur her words at the end. She leaned forward and folded her arms around my neck. Most of her weight was on me, and I staggered back a second surprised. I tilted my head down. As I straightened up, I held her still, not sure how much support she could take right now.

"Let's go take a break ok?'

She just nodded into my shoulder. I started to guide us over to a booth keeping an arm around her waist as we moved slowly. 



If That's Your Excuse Ch. 06



I didn't really know what was wrong, and the only idea I had I didn't like.

I sat her down in the nearest booth, and she looked like she was half asleep.

"Lexi what happened? What's wrong?"

"I'm so tired. I don't know.. I'm just so tired."

She looked like she was about to pass out. I leaned over and smelled her breath, thinking it might be alcohol. She smelled faintly of beer, but nothing that could get her this smashed. I stopped for a second, not remembering her drinking anything. All of a sudden I realized. That idiot from the bar.. he must have given her something. 

I nudged her quickly trying to keep her awake a few more minutes. 

"Lexi! Lexi did that guy get you a drink? From the bar?"

"Yeah.. he got me..."

The end of her sentence dropped off as she passed out. I caught her as she started to tilt over. I pulled my jacket off and bunched it up, carefully laying her head down on it. I stood up looking around for either of my friends. I saw Mike dancing a few feet away. 

"Mike!" I yelled trying to be heard over the blasting music. He looked up and came over when he saw the look on my face. 

"What's up man?"

"Listen I need you to watch this girl for second. Something happened to her, and I gotta go ask someone about it. Can you just sit here for a minute? I'll be right back."

I could already feel my hands balling into fists at my side, as I tried to control my quickly growing anger. 

He looked up at me again, and I'm sure my frustration was obvious in my expression.

"Yeah sure. Is she going to be ok?'

"Yeah I think so. I just have to go handle something first."

He nodded, knowing better then to ask anything else, and walked back over to the booth sitting down next to Lexi. 

I glanced by the bar, trying to spot the guy from earlier. Finally I spotted him, and it looked like he was already talking to another girl. I started to walk over, balling and unballing my fists in a failed attempt to seem calm and cool. I didn't want him to get scared and run away. I had to find out what he'd given her, and I couldn't call the cops. Lexi would get in trouble with the police, and I didn't want that to happen. I made my way over to the bar stopping behind him.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

My voice probably gave away my anger, but at that point I didn't care very much.

He turned around glancing over his shoulder and seeing me, I saw a mix of surprise, shock, and fear flash through him. He turned back to the girl he was talking to, saying something about being right back. 

"How about we go over here?"

I point out a corner. He walks over, looking a little nervous. Which he should be. Once we were out of earshot he turned facing me.

"Look man I didn't know you guys were dating. She was just a girl at the bar."

I started to lose a grip on my frustration as I pushed him back against the wall.

"Oh so it would make it ok if she wasn't my girlfriend?" I was almost shouting at him.

"Well. No but come on I was just looking for a little fun.."

"Were you also looking to go to jail? Because besides trying to drug and rape a girl, I don't think buying a minor alcohol would help you either."

He looked up, trying to seem surprised. 

"What? You have to be fucking kidding. And I didn't drug her I have no clue what you're talking about."

Again I could feel my hands clench into fists, but I resisted.

"Now here's what I'm going to do, because even though I really want to beat the crap out of you right now and call the cops, I'm not interested in screwing her over too. So how about you just give me whatever you put in her drink, and I'll let you walk away without a broken nose?"

I could see him thinking it over, but he glanced over at the bar and probably saw that girl he was talking to now. It disgusted me that he seemed to be thinking of screwing with some other girl too.

"I didn't drug her. I have no idea what you're talking about."

He repeated this with a mock innocent expression on his face. At that point, I just lost it. I reached across and punched him in the face as hard as I could. He sunk to the floor, clutching his probably broken nose.

"What the fuck man?" He swore. I could see some blood seeping through his hand, but I didn't care. I grabbed him by the shirt pulling him back up.

"Now I'm only going to ask you one more time. Give me the dam pills" 

He looked like he was going to regret what he was about to do, but he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of white pills. I grabbed it from him and put it into my pocket. I started to walk away but I stopped and walked back over to him. 

"I almost forgot something"

I hit him as hard as I could in the stomach, this time knocking him to the ground hunched over. I turned around and walked away. I stopped by the edge of the bar when I saw the girl look over scared. I walked over to her.

"Did that guy buy you a drink?"

"He was just about to," She answered, sounding confused.

I pulled the bag out of my pocket and held them up.

"I don't think you want to drink that," I said and turned around heading back through the club.

I weaved through the couples on the dance floor till I saw Mike sitting next to Lexi. He was looking around, seeming impatient, and probably a little annoyed at how bad he looked sitting next to an unconscious girl.

I walked over.

"Hey thanks man, I owe you one."

He stood up and looked at me, like he wanted to say something, but hesitated.

"You didn't have anything to do with this, right?"

I shook my head. 

"No it's been taken care of. I figured out who did. Listen, do you mind if I take the car? I should probably get her out of here. I can leave cab money if you want?"

"No it's fine of course you can take the car. We'll be fine. Hopefully, we won't need to go home anyway." 

He smiled with a wink and pulled the keys out of his pocket.

I smiled back.

"Well good luck with that. Have fun. I'll see you later."

He gave a small wave and walked off towards the bar.

I turned back to Lexi, who seemed to still be sound asleep. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with her, and the guy didn't seem worried about it, but I couldn't just drop her off somewhere and hope she was ok. But at the same time, where was I supposed to go with her? Pulling up and giving her to her parents didn't feel like the best idea. And I had no clue where or who her friends even were in here. Finally, I settled that I'd just have to take her back to my apartment. It wasn't like there was much else I could do anyway, not that taking her home with me didn't sound good. 

With a shrug I leaned over and picked her up, careful to keep an arm under her head. I headed towards the back, out the door. I found the car pretty quickly a block away. I laid her down in the backseat, and pulled away.

///////////////////////////

Half asleep, I woke up chilly and tucked the blanket over me tighter. In the back of my head I started to think, didn't I put my blanket in the wash yesterday?

Slowly I opened my eyes slightly looking around the room. I was in somebody's bedroom, but definitely not mine. I sat up quickly, not asleep anymore. I rubbed my eyes squinting to see in the dark room. I could make out a TV and a desk in the corner, with some clothes thrown over it. I saw the night table next to me, with a clock flashing 1 am. 

I started to freak out a bit, right as I heard noises from the other side of the room. I jumped and turned around to see someone sound asleep in a chair next to the bed. I squinted in the dark, at a familiar looking face. Finally I stopped when I recognized Ben. I relaxed a bit, but still wanted to know what was going on. I climbed out of the bed and walked over to the chair. He looked really uncomfortable. He was in the sitting position, but his head had fallen back.

"Ben," I whispered softly.

With no reply I reached an arm out nudging his shoulder.

"Ben"

He moved a little in his sleep but didn't seem to reply.

"Ben," I said again a little louder, pushing his shoulder again.

This time he woke up opening his eyes slowly, looking around. He saw me and sat up quickly.

"Lexi are you ok?" He asked quickly, his voice still husky with sleep.

"What do you mean am I ok? What happened?"

He ran a hand through his hair.

"There was this guy at the bar, and he slipped something in your drink. Don't worry nothing happened, I just brought you back here to sleep it off. But I didn't know if the pill did anything, so I was watching you to make sure you were fine, and I must have dozed off."

I was silent; stunned that he'd do something like that for me. 

"I.. wow.. that was.. amazing of you."

He looked up.

"Not really, I mean I wasn't just going to leave you there. Anyone would have done it."

I smiled to myself at his modesty. 

"Well, thank you. That.. meant a lot."

"Your welcome" He said reaching a hand out and touching my arm for a second. There was only contact for a moment, but I could still feel that electricity every time he touched me.

I quiet for a moment, before he quickly tried to make up for what just happened.

"Anyway, I'm guessing you have somewhere you're supposed to be. I can drop you off if you want?"

"Well, I was supposed to sleep over at Maggie's so we could stay out late, but I don't even know where they are right now. Listen, I know it's a huge favor to ask, but would you mind if I just crashed here? I'll sleep on the couch and be out of your way." 

He stood up rubbing his neck with a wince and stretching.

"No of course you can stay. And I don't have a couch, just some uncomfortable chairs. But you're welcome to use the bed, I can just put some blankets on the floor."

I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"No don't be silly. I'm not going to make you fall asleep in a chair and on the floor. I'll sleep on the floor, you look sore enough already."

"I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor," he said sounding firm.

"Well I'm not going to let you sleep on the floor either," I replied, with a smile.

He smiled back, amused by how obstinate I was.

"We could always just share the bed?" I asked, a little nervous. 

It wasn't like I was afraid of him or anything; I just didn't want him to be horrified with the idea.

He ran a hand through his hair thinking it over, and gave me a small smile.

"You sure I can't just sleep on the floor?"

I gave him a soft smile. 

"Positive," I replied.

"Alright then I guess we'll share."

I stood up and looked down at my wrinkled clothes. 

"Would you mind if I borrowed something to sleep in? This isn't exactly the most comfortable outfit."

He smiled.

"Yeah sure there's some pajama stuff in that dresser. Take whatever you want. I'm going to go get a water."

He turned around and walked out of the bedroom. Once he left, I started thinking and getting nervous. What if he tried to do something? It wasn't like I'd ever done anything before; I wouldn't even know how to react. I went over to the dresser and pulled out a college t-shirt and some boxers. As I picked them up, the scent came off them. It was just so him. That unique smell that nobody else seemed to have. I pulled off my skirt and tank top, dropping them on the floor. Once I'd changed, I headed for the door, to see what the rest of the place looked like.

//////////////

Once I left her in my room to change, I'd started worrying. Maybe that moment at the club had been the mistake. She was my student, and it was about as wrong as it could possibly be. But I also knew there was something about her that made all that just seem irrelevant. The only thing I really didn't know was how she felt about everything. And I wanted to ask, but at the same time I didn't want to scare her. I guess I'd just have to see how things went tonight.

I heard something behind me and saw her come around the corner. I caught my breath. She was in my shirt and boxers, which looked huge on her, but at the same time she looked cute. How is it that when a girl wears guys' clothes, it looks so much better? I smiled at her after a second.

"More comfortable?" I asked.

She looked up with a smile.

"Yeah actually I am." 

We just kind of looked at each other for a minute before anyone said anything.

"So this is your apartment?"

"Yeah, in all it's glory."

All in all, it could have been a worse place to live. It didn't have much space, but it was in a safe neighborhood, and close to the school, which was all that mattered.

I appreciated her trying to keep the situation from getting awkward, but the part we were both trying to avoid was coming eventually, so I just made it happen.

"So, time for bed?" I asked with a nervous smile.

She looked up, and I could see some worry in her eyes before she gave me a small smile.

"Yeah I'm pretty tired."

She turned around and walked back into the bedroom, with me a few paces behind her.



If That's Your Excuse Ch. 07



Sorry for the long wait guys, I had school stuff to get done! And sorry again that this is a shorter chapter, but I promise the next one is already in the works, so keep checking the site for more. Next one should be up in the next few days. Thanks!



I started playing with my hands nervously as we walked back toward the bedroom. His bedroom. The one I'd been thinking about since I woke up. I had no idea what to do, or expect, or anything. I felt like a little kid in a situation way over my head. I climbed onto the bed, sliding across so I was on the side by the wall. I sat up leaning against the back wall. Ben walked in a few seconds later and with his back to me pulled his shirt over his head. I got a clear view of his tan and muscled back, before he undid his belt on his jeans. He stopped after a second and turned around with an embarrassed flush on his face.

"Sorry, I forgot. I usually just sleep like this..."

"No it's fine, really. Just act like you normally would. Pretend I'm not here."

He smiled over his shoulder before he turned around again and slid his jeans to the floor. He picked them up and threw them on the chair. I tried not to stare, but at this point, I knew it was almost impossible not to. He was muscular in all the right places, but not a ridiculous amount, just enough that it seemed almost natural, like his tan. Guys really did have all the luck with that. Now, all he had on was a pair of loose boxers. He walked over shutting off the ceiling light, leaving the lamp on beside me. He climbed into the bed, jostling me a little as he got comfortable. I followed suit, pulling the blankets over me. The window must have been open in the other room, because I felt a breeze pick up as I tucked myself into the bed. I didn't really know what to say, if saying goodnight was even what I wanted. I must have been quiet for a minute, because he coughed next to me and looked over expectantly. I looked up confused.

"Uh.. would you mind shutting off the light?' 

I blushed quickly, trying to hide my embarrassment. Of course he wasn't thinking like I was. It wasn't like he was expecting anything out of this. I leaned over to the side table and tried to turn the lamp off. I felt around looking for a switch on the lamp. I blushed again, now embarrassed for an entirely different, but still equally ridiculous reason. 

After a minute, he sighed.

"Here I got it," he said as he moved over. He reached over me flipping a switch hidden on the far side of the lamp. As he did this, he pressed back against me, keeping me held against the wall behind me. I could feel the warm skin of his arm on me, but I tried not to notice, instead focusing on keeping my breathing steady. He started to lean back onto the bed, still pressed against me, at least partly. I shivered slightly, partly because I was cold, but on the other hand just because he was this close to me. I looked over at him for a second, and about the same time he glanced back at me. We caught eyes, and he stopped where he was. 

He seemed to want to say something, but hesitated.

"You.. I mean are you cold?"

"No I'm fine," I answered quickly. I didn't want to have to explain how I could possibly be cold tucked under a blanket and a sheet. 

"Oh alright." He answered, and slid back to the other side of the bed. 

I slid down till I was under the blankets and lay on my side. We were quiet for a minute. Finally, I just decided I couldn't take the silence anymore. 

"Well goodnight then."

"Goodnight Lexi," he answered as he pulled the blankets over himself as well.

As I laid there, I couldn't stop my brain from thinking. Maybe the thing at the club had been a fluke, or a drunken thing. We had both had some to drink; it wasn't out of the question. Or maybe I read it wrong, I was partly unconscious for most of it. Finally I just sighed, realizing I'd never be able to figure it out. It was probably a good thing anyway, I mean this was already going to be interesting enough to handle and explain, without anything.. like that happening. I turned on my side facing away from Ben and started to drift off into sleep.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

There must be something wrong with me. Really and honestly there must. And there are a billion different reasons for it too. Where to begin, oh maybe having an 18 year old girl pass out in my bed. Or maybe the fact that I'm on the edge of the bed is the only reason I'm not trying to be near her. Or maybe the fact that with all this, I'm also her teacher. This is insane. People go to jail for doing less then this these days, if the numbers had been different by a year. I sat up thinking for a while, knowing that I couldn't trust myself yet to fall asleep. I'd have to wait a little while, at least until Lexi was asleep. Maybe it'll make staying away from her easier when I don't have to look in her eyes. And I knew how cheesy that sounded. Everything I seemed to be thinking lately seemed cheesy in some ways. And I knew exactly why. It was all because of her. But I'd let myself think this could be a possibility at the club. There it seemed so much easier, just her and me. There weren't any other obstacles to get around, like age or job status. Now things were different as we lay in my bed, and I knew that come Monday in a classroom, things could only seem more complicated. Finally, I heard steady breathing coming from her side of the bed. I looked over and saw her back was to me, which was perfect, because I normally sleep facing the wall. I rolled on my side, and slowly tried to fall asleep.

I must have had a weird dream or something, because I jumped a little as I woke myself up. I opened my eyes slightly and still saw darkness. I hated waking up in the middle of the night. I went to shift a little bit so I could fall back asleep as I felt warm breath on my chest. I looked down to see Lexi sound asleep, her head on my chest and her hand flat next to it. I just watched her for a minute as she slept on, completely unaware. She was just so.. perfect. All I wanted to do was wrap my arm, which lay under her, around her sleeping form and fall back asleep myself just like this. But why couldn't it just be that simple? A voice in the back of my head answered, maybe it could. With my free hand I brushed some hair away from her face, and she shifted in her sleep, but didn't wake up. I smiled to myself. Well if this was going to have to end tomorrow anyway, I could at least pretend for right now. I wrapped my arm around her waist and rested my chin on her head as I comfortably fell back asleep. I could pretend for now.....

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

I woke up to sunlight in my face. I tried to keep my eyes shut, so I could sleep just a little bit longer, but no luck. I slowly opened my eyes in the bright light as went to move my hand and block it. My hand brushed against bare skin and I was startled as I realized where I was. Again. I tilted my chin up on his chest and saw Ben asleep next to me. All I remembered about last night was falling asleep and being comfortable. I hadn't even moved since I first went to bed. Ben was still sound asleep, his arm wrapped around me. He was so... handsome, even as he was asleep right now. I sighed with a soft smile. It was funny, with all the thoughts rolling in my head, like how am I going to explain my disappearing act, and what was going to happen Monday, I couldn't stop smiling. I carefully reached over Ben, grabbing his free hand gently. I slid my fingers in between his, and just stared for a second, trying to keep this image in my head. It seemed so.. easy.. perfect.. right. But it isn't.. or wasn't. All of sudden Ben's fingers squeezed back softly. I jumped as he opened his eyes with a smile. I blushed quickly and tried to mumble an apology as I went to pull away and sit up. With a little bit of force he held me to him and kept my hand, rubbing small circles back and forth on my palm. I stayed where I was and looked up at him as he started to say something.

"Look I know last night was...different to say the least. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I meant what I said. I like you Lexi, a lot. And I don't want this to just be some weird not that we try and forget about. So I have an idea."

I just kind of looked at him for a second before I answered.

"An idea?"

"Yeah. I was thinking I could take you out tonight. On a real date."

I smiled softly "Are you asking me out?"

He squeezed my hand and smiled back.

"Yes, I am definitely asking you out."

My smile got bigger and I nodded.

"Okay."

"Great. Well, now that that's taken care of, how about some breakfast?"

"I'd love something. I'm starving ," I answered and quickly climbed out of the bed with a smile.



If That's Your Excuse Ch. 08



Hey guys sorry for the wait, this part was just a little hard to iron out. Hope you enjoy and I swear the next chapter is already on its way!

I smiled and waved as Ben pulled out of my driveway two hours later. We'd had breakfast, laughed, and smiled. But I knew eventually I'd have to get home and explain myself. My parents hadn't even known I was missing, but I'm sure there would be a few friends I owed an explanation. I felt guilty for last night, but it wasn't really something I could have prevented. I turned on my cell phone as I walked into the house. It quickly buzzed with 7 new texts and 9 voicemails. I listened to them all. Basically, Maggie had been calling me every hour since I'd told her last night that I wouldn't be driving home with them. Knowing Maggie, she was probably assuming I'd gone home with some guy. Which technically was true, just not like she imagined it. I called her back after I cleared my message box. She picked up on the first ring.

"Where are you? HOW are you? Was it amazing? What happened? And who was the guy?"

I smiled before I quickly tried to quiet her down.

"Maggie take a breath, will you? I'm fine and there was no guy, I swear."

I heard her snort through the phone. Attractive isn't it?

"Come on Lexi I've been your best friend since forever. I know a lie when I hear one. Plus you can't just up and disappear. How'd you even get home?"

I paused for a second trying to come up with a good alibi. 

"Well I was feeling like crap last night. So I just decided to catch a cab and go home. I would have called you guys, but I lost you, so I figured I'd just call you later but I forgot to. Sorry Mags."

She digested this before answering. 

"It's fine Lex you just had me worried sick! And you know how much I hate grown up feelings like worrying. I felt like your second mom last night. The wrinkles are unbecoming."

It was just a total Maggie response.

"Sorry MOM. Won't happen again I swear. I'm fine now I promise."

"I should think so. So what are you up to tonight? I figured we could go catch a movie or something? On me. I feel bad about the drag and ditch last night."

"Uh.. sorry can't my parents are making me stay in tonight. They are going to be home for a change, so they want some bonding time. You know the drill."

"Don't I ever. Alright well I guess I'll see you Monday then?"

"Yeah definetly. Maybe I'll even actually go to lunch for a change."

I heard her fake gasp on the other end.

"Well I'll believe that when I see it. Later lex."

I clicked off the phone with her and immediately started looking at my closet. I felt guilty for lying to Maggie, but if there was ever something I couldn't trust her with, it would be this. She just wasn't great with secrets, and when it was something this important, there was no way I could leave the possibilities to chance. I tried to push that to the back of my head as I surveyed what I had. Of course nothing in my closet seemed appealing at first glance. Maybe Maggie was right, I didn't really seem to have much in the nice clothes area. Sure I had outfits that could impress parents and teachers (well not this one, but normally), but nothing that was date worthy. Even my parents called me a nun sometimes. And when a father wants his teenage daughter to dress less like an old lady, that's really saying something. That reminded me of the stuff my mom bought me a few weeks ago. She'd been shopping on one of her three days off and had seen a bunch of stuff that was just "so me." I'd put it in the back of my closet, figuring I'd just wear it around the house to make her happy. Usually my mom's version of "so me" involved a lot more girly frilly then I cared to wear. I pulled out the shopping bag from my closet. I found a few sweaters that I quickly pushed into a donation pile, and a pair of Bermuda shorts that made me laugh. But the last thing in the bag was perfect. It surprised me; I didn't know my mom was capable of finding things I actually liked. After trying and making sure it fit, I checked the clock and saw I had an hour to shower and get ready. I headed into the bathroom with a towel hoping to wash off the jitters that were starting to come on.

///////////////////////////////////////////

I came out in a towel flipping through my shirts in my closet. I'd been trying to decide what to do tonight. I knew the date part meant dinner, but I was trying to keep it casual at the same time. So I figured maybe we could do a movie or something too. Which meant more casual stuff. But I was a teacher, which meant casual clothes really weren't something I had a lot of. I pulled some jeans and a sweater out, hoping that it wasn't too much. Look at myself I thought. I don't think I've put this much time into an outfit.... Ever. It was just important that things went well tonight. I pulled on the clothes, and added a little cologne as I checked the clock. Just about time to leave. I grabbed the flowers that I'd picked up on the way home a little bit ago when I'd dropped off Mike's car. He had a lot of questions when I got over there, and I'd tried to answer him without too much information. I said I'd picked up a girl, and we'd gotten together that night. It was just easier then having to go into details about everything. He'd seemed to shrug it off, he must have gotten lucky as well last night. I turned on my radio as I headed off to Lexi's house. This morning had been great. We'd talked for a bit and ate. She had a good appetite for a smaller girl. It made me laugh. I really wanted to try and make this work. Well I didn't even know what this was, but whatever the reason, I wanted to try. I pulled up in Lexi's driveway and walked up to the front door. I knocked twice and waited a minute. I heard a muffled door's open. I turned the knob and stepped inside looking around. 

"Lexi?"

"Yeah I'll be down, just give me one second."

I grabbed a seat on the couch in the living room. It seemed pretty nice for the neighborhood, looking like her parents had some money. I heard the stairs squeak so I came around the corner, looking up. I stopped after a second, kind of surprised. Lexi came down the stairs in a pale blue sundress, with sandals. Her normally straight hair and had been curled and waved and she had on just enough makeup to make her look even more beautiful then usual. I must have been staring because she stopped after a few steps looking back at me.

"What? Is something wrong?"

I smiled.

"No.. you look... beautiful."

She smiled back, relieved as she took the last few steps meeting me at the bottom of the stairs.

"Oh good. I thought you were going to faint or something,' she said with a laugh.

"I thought I might,' I answered teasing.

Looking down at my hands, I handed her the flowers.

"Oh, these are for you."

She seemed surprised.

"Oh... thank you."

We just kind of looked at each other and smiled for a minute. 

"So.. ready to go?" I asked to end the silence.

"Yeah, lets."

I held the door open and we walked out. I helped her climb into the car.

"So where are we going? She asked as I climbed in and started the car.

"Well I figured we could go get some dinner and see a movie. Normal date stuff?"

She smiled.

"Alright sounds great."

We headed over to my favorite Italian restaurant. I'd made a reservation just in case a few hours ago, because it tended to get crowed on Saturdays. We walked in, getting a table near the back of the busy restaurant. I held out her chair as she sat down and grabbed the seat across from her. As we sat down, we exchanged a look, and at first I felt embarrassed. But I realized after a second that it was ok now. We weren't at school, or anywhere near people we knew. I didn't have to feel embarrassed. As I thought about all this I reached my hand across the table and took hers, rubbing my thumb on the back of her hand softly. She looked up, kind of surprised, but after a second she smiled and squeezed back, biting her lip as she looked down at her menu. I smiled and tried to keep my eyes down, even though I kept looking up at her

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Dinner went amazing. We spent most of it just talking, about everything, from random stuff to even school topics. Even though it wasn't a normal thing for us, we were still able to talk about school easily, like we were separated from it at the time. Ben had been a gentleman the entire night, coming no closer to me then touching my hand. As he paid the check, I ran to the bathroom to check my makeup. When I looked in the mirror, I saw something different then normal. It took me a few seconds to figure out the difference: I was happy. I'd been happy before, I was happy, but this was that crazy different kind of boy happy that made your head spin. Even though I'd really never experienced it before, I could almost instantly see it. The best part was that I really didn't care who else noticed it. I zipped my purse and headed out to the front where Ben was waiting. We headed out, driving over to the theatre, in quiet, but not bad quiet. Like.. peace I suppose. But as we sat I started to think about.. everything, which is probably what caused me to blurt out what I was about to say. 

"So.. what happens on Monday?'

He looked over at me, momentarily silent at the question. I tried to talk quickly, hoping to get out what I wanted to say. 

"I mean.. I know what happens Monday-school. But I just want to know, I mean all this could get you into a lot of trouble. I don't know much about the whole specific school rules, but I figure no students is kind of a basic one." 

I blushed furiously, keeping my eyes on the window as I got through all this. Sometime while I was talking, we pulled into the parking lot of the theatre. Ben shut off the car, turning to face me.

"Look Lexi, I appreciate the worry-I really do. But I'm a big boy.. and I know what I'm getting into here. Yes, you're right if we got caught doing anything outside of school, I could get in trouble, a lot of trouble actually. But I've spent the last few weeks trying to avoid you, and justifying every thought. And I don't think I could go back to that, even if I wanted to. So right now, I don't want to worry about school. Because it's only Saturday. And we'll deal with Monday when we come to it, alright?"

I smiled at him.

"Alright. That sounds good to me." 

"But since you brought up our.. situation there is something I wanted to say before anything happens or doesn't happen."

He paused trying to phrase his words.

"I don't really know how much dating experience you've had, but whatever it is I don't want to push you.. and I don't mean just the physical pushing. I mean, if we do decide to get serious, and it's too much for you, all you have to do is tell me. If you want out, I'm not going to be dramatic about it. And I'm not telling you this because I want you to leave, I just don't want you to ever feel like your trapped here. Am I making sense?"

I looked up at him and squeezed his hand.

"Ben I appreciate your worry, but I'm a big girl too. And if I wanted out, I definitely wouldn't feel like I had an obligation. I promise."

"Good" He answered with a squeeze.

"But now that all this—complicated talk is over for a while, how about we go for that movie?'

I nodded and He smiled and got out to go open my door.