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If Only Ch. 01

By: Dragon_13



"If only..."

Angelus watched her as she left the house. He was connected with her, and her pain caused a tear to roll down his face. He knew that at that moment it took everything within her to hold her head high, to not let the pain consume her. He wished he could reach out to her, wished he could take it all away. But that was not the plan.

She walked the street alone, tears streaking down her cheeks. She loved him, more than life. She wanted to be with him, but it could never be. They both loved each other, more than some could hope to feel in a lifetime. But...his inner demons had finally won the war. She could no longer fight for him, it killed her too much. He was everything she wanted; if only he knew what was more important...perhaps things would not have had to end. 

She wanted to run endlessly, hide herself from the world. But it would never happen. She dreamed of a world she could escape to...somewhere where the calm was tangible. But in this world, such a place does not exist. 

She wrapped herself in her thoughts and let them comfort her. Her eyes were open now. Never would she let this heartbreak happen again...even if it meant she never loved again. A piece of her died that day...or so she thought.

*****

It had been seven years, and Kara had still not let anyone in. She didn't see how men longed for her; didn't see the hurt in everyone's eyes that knew her. She had exquisite beauty; but she never knew. She had long nurtured the idea that the one she was looking for, she had already let go. And yet, she came to this conclusion for she had not met another whose mind entertained her soul...as his did.

Kara was walking through the streets, letting her mind take her far away, when a sudden chill ran down her spine, and she realized where she was. That same street years ago...all the pain from the years long gone came rushing back, forming into a tangible pain in her heart.

She clutched her shirt, gasping for breath. The pain was too great, it had been held far too long. It took a strength she did not know she possessed to find a place to turn. She had never known an alley existed there; it seemed as if fate were guiding her.

Angelus watched, worried that Kara might not be strong enough to make it. When her hand reached the wall of the alley, she collapsed, her screams of pain so severe only Angelus could hear. Kara's hands clutched the snow beneath her as she realized it was the same day, seven years later. Eventually, the pain consumed her, and she drifted into blackness.

There was a comforting light around her.. its presence was indicating something in her mind; yet she could not grasp the meaning. She felt herself being drawn as she floated through a feeling she had not felt in years...that haze of love that takes away all fears... emptiness... pain. But she passed through it, and as she struggled to stay there, she got further away... and felt the all-encompassing pain of reality. 

*****

He watched her seem to fight something in her sleep, saw the pain evident on her face. He wondered what such a beauty could be haunted by. She lay there like an angel, her long brunette curls framing her face. She was not tall, but then again, she was not petite by any means. Her bosom matched her bottom; she was not too skinny either.

If it weren't for the slightest bump in her nose, she would have been as perfect as a doll. He could only imagine what her eyes held; and so he yearned to see. He noticed a tear slip down her cheek, and was perplexed to no end.

Reality slapped her out of sleep. Her eyes snapped open, only to meet the curious eyes of...of a man. Fear crept up her spine, and the man watched her eyes turn from surprise to horror. It was the last thing he expected from someone who looked so beautiful. Nor did he expect her eyes to contain a deepness...that he was already lost in. 

Suddenly he realized her situation. "I apologize, how rude of me. I am Cadogan." He waved and gave her a cheeky smile. He thought he saw a flicker of amusement in her eyes, but when she said nothing, he thought he imagined it. "Umm.. I found you in an alley. You have been unconscious for hours."

With that fear crossed her face again. When she tried to speak, her voice hitched. He caught on immediately. "Oh how stupid of me. You must be dying of thirst." He scrambled around, eventually leaving the room. In any other situation, she would have burst out laughing, but she felt so strange...she could not pinpoint the sensation.

When he returned with a glass of water, she eyed him for a moment; then figured that if he meant her any harm he would have done it by now. As she took the glass from him, her fingers brushed against his and she froze. His touch rustled something deep within her...and she knew exactly what it was. 

Her gaze startled him. He didn't expect it; then again, he didn't expect to ever feel tangible attraction. Her touch seemed to send an electrical charge through him. Her eyes were searching his, and to be honest this felt uncomfortable, and he wanted to know why. "Miss, you seemed to be fighting something in your sleep...is everything alright?"

His voice held a sincere concern that she had not heard in a long time. Sadness crept through her, and he saw it in her eyes. He wanted to reach out to her, comfort her, but she slowly raised the glass to her lips and took a drink. 

She eyed him up and down before she spoke. He was a very handsome man, the type that was not usually single, but married already. Yet she saw no ring on his finger, he never rubbed it indicating he had never worn a ring on that finger. She looked back into his eyes and could clearly see his confusion; it put her in a lighter mood.

"I am Kara. Thank you for your kindness Cadogan, but I must be on my way now. She started to rise, but the pain in her chest threatened to take over again. At her gasp, he rushed over, taking the drink from her and gently persuading her to lay back down.

"Let me take you to the hospital Kara."

"Thank you Cadogan, but that will not be necessary. I already know what this is and why. I do not need to waste money nor take pills that will do nothing."

"Well, stay here as long as you need. Do you need a phone to contact your family?"

"I have no family Cadogan, but thank you."

"Oh. Well, considering the time, what would you like for dinner Kara?"

"What?" Kara gave him a quizzical look, letting her mind entertain the thought that this guy was quite the catch. But she quickly kicked that out of her mind when she remembered the last time this happened.

"Tell you what." Cadogan said as he set the glass down on the side table, "I will see what I've got in the fridge, and you tell me if anything piques your interest." Cadogan left the room, and Kara tried to take in exactly what was happening.

Suddenly, Cadogan bellowed from the kitchen. "Okay! I have bologna and cheese! He said it with such enthusiasm Kara stifled a laugh.

"I think I'll pass on the bologna, she answered meekly.

"Alright! What about leftover pizza!. like anchovies?"

With that she actually let out a giggle. Cadogan heard and smiled. Besides, he was having a hard time making up stuff that was not in his refrigerator...he loved to cook.

"I will take that as a no," Cadogan hollered. Let us see what is behind drawer number 1! How about...a roast pork loin dinner with carrots and mashed potatoes! Kara's mouth watered instantly. 

"You have that?, Kara croaked. 

"Well, I would have to cook it first!....Can you wait about an hour?"

"Sure." {I hope he isn't just trying to impress me, and that he actually can cook} Kara thought. Her stomach started to remind her she hadn't eaten all day. She heard some rattling in the kitchen, and a few minutes later, Cadogan popped in the room, wearing a white apron and a crooked chef hat...he had flour on his face. 

Kara bust out laughing. She couldn't stop. It had been so long since she had had a good laugh; it seemed to erupt from her body. It seemed as though it was just what she needed, because it was not making her chest hurt. 

Cadogan just looked at her, awed. He thought she was beautiful before, but now...it was quite the understatement. Her laughter was like a song to his ears, one that he didn't want to stop hearing. He had a new goal now.

"I beg your pardon?! What is so funny?!" Cadogan said with his hands on his hips. That made Kara laugh harder. Cadogan's face began to screw up as he tried to suppress his laughter. All Kara could do was shake her head. She was beyond words.

"Well miss funny, I came in here to ask if you would like something to snack on while dinner is cooking...an appetizer if you will." Kara tried to stop her laughter, trying to take deep breaths. Her hands were covering her face, trying to hide her red blush. Her hands slowly moved to her cheeks, and she looked up at him with a smile on her face.

"Wha-whatever [giggle] you have." She bit her lip to contain the laughter.

Cadogan raised an eyebrow. "Cheese and crackers to your liking?"

"Yes"—her breath hitched. "Please."

He returned shortly with sliced cheese and her favorite crackers...Keebler. She licked her lips, she couldn't help it. He saw it, and it almost made him moan. He noticed she was almost out of water.

"Is there anything else I can get you to drink?"

"Water is fine; ...thank you Cadogan." She put a certain emphasis on the thank you as if to say she didn't deserve any of the things he was doing for her.

"My pleasure Kara." He said looking into her eyes. She smiled. Her mind was nagging her, telling her that this was too good to be true. But she didn't want to listen right now, besides, she was hungry and she couldn't wait to taste the buttery, flaky Keebler cracker and have it melt in her mouth, garnished with cheese. Her little fantasy was interrupted by Cadogan bringing in her water. 

Amusement donned his face when he realized she was savoring the crackers, with her eyes closed. He watched her put a whole cracker in her mouth, and took that as his cue. "Ahm!" Kara's eyes snapped open, and a red blush crept up her cheeks. "Here is your water," Cadogan said just barely keeping from laughing. 

Kara was about to say thank you but at the last second she realized she had just stuffed her face, and all that came out was a "Mmph." Cadogan chuckled, and left the room, tending to dinner. He came back a little while later to check on her and took her dishes. As he walked back into the kitchen he heard the familiar scratch at the door.

Every day, a Weimaraner came to the back door, looking for food. The dog was still young, but his landlord was a stickler for dogs, so he could not keep him, though he wanted to. Perhaps Kara would be the perfect match; then again Boris' big blue eyes could win over anyone. He kneeled down to Boris and whispered in his ear. 

Boris crept over to where Kara was lying. She seemed to be deep in thought or had dozed off. Boris ever so gracefully leapt up on the bed without disturbing Kara. He crawled on all fours toward her and waited. 

Kara finally managed to suppress her nagging thoughts and opened her eyes, meeting blue ones inches away from her nose.

*

Thank you so much for reading! PLEASE PLEASE comment and vote! I would love to know your opinion!

If Only Ch. 02



(Thank you so much for your comments, I truly appreciate them. I will admit that the syntax of my stories is a bit peculiar, but it is just the way my mind works. If one reads any of the poetry I have posted, one will see I am a deep thinker; I put a lot of thought into my story characters, including the names. The meaning of the names coincides with the character's purpose as well as the type of person they will evolve to be. I hope you enjoy, this story will be a long one.—Dragon_13)

P.S.—to the one who wants to submit a story of their own, just write about your fantasies; what you would want to happen to you...that is where the inspiration for this story came from ;)

*****

Kara's eyes widened, her restless thoughts jerked from her mind. The Weimaraner sensed her fear and started licking her face. As soon as realization set in, she started laughing. The last time she had played with a dog was in her youth. She moved her head from side to side, trying to evade the slobbering tongue. She finally grabbed the Weimaraner's head and looked into his eyes, a smile on her face.

Kara began to talk to the dog in that silly tone we all know well, charming the dog into submission. She was scratching and flopping his ears around when she suddenly noticed the delicious smell coming from the kitchen. It had been so long since she had a good, slow-cooked home made meal; she simply didn't have time anymore. She looked towards the kitchen and noticed Cadogan watching her.

He had the strangest look in his eyes, one that seemed hungry, yet she could sense a deeper emotion within those depths. It excited her and scared her. A smile slowly curved his lips.

"You seem to have made friends with Boris."

"Yeah, you have a beautiful Weimaraner" Kara said as she looked back at Boris and scratched his ears.

"Actually, he is not mine, though I wish he was...my landlord does not care for animals at all. ...You know, he really seems to like you. Usually he does not take to people so quickly. Perhaps you could take him?"

Kara was speechless. She loved dogs, but that was a big responsibility...in fact, she had never really thought at all about getting a dog, even though she was very lonely. ...It was like an epiphany just happened to her. Perhaps a dog was just what she needed. She looked back at Boris, with his blue coat and blue eyes, and couldn't say no.

"Well...I suppose I could take him." Kara looked back at Cadogan and he was smiling so big she thought his face would get stuck like that.

Cadogan could not help but smile. He had hoped he would find Boris a good friend, and he finally did. {Besides, Weimaraners are very protective, and Boris seems to be just what Kara needs...she seems a little on the skittish side}-Cadogan thought.

Kara gave him a small smile back, amused he was still smiling. The silence was a little unnerving. "Smells good." At that Cadogan perked up and ran back into the kitchen. Kara chuckled. Suddenly Cadogan popped his head around the door, his hat flopping over to partly cover his face. Kara tried to stifle a laugh, putting a hand over her eyes. She opened her fingers, and he was still in that same position. She started laughing, and closed her fingers again.

Cadogan had a goofy smile on his face. "Dinner is almost done, do you like gravy?"

"Yes please!" Kara said with enthusiasm. Cadogan teemed with excitement. {So far, this woman is quite something}

Kara looked back at Boris when Cadogan went back in the kitchen. Things were happening so fast, she was trying to take it all in. {Yes this man seems to be a gentleman, but then again so was he...at first. I wonder if I will ever get past this...every time something or someone wonderful happens to me, that doubt comes back again. When will I ever be rid of it? Perhaps...I now have my own demons to fight...} Kara thought towards Boris whilst scratching his head. 

When Kara thought about having her own demons to fight, Boris yipped curiously and titled his head to the side, but Kara was too deep in thought to notice. Boris licked her right on the nose and brought her back to reality. "Boris!" Kara groused. Kara heard the clattering of plates and decided to try and get up now rather than get so close to Cadogan again.

Kara moved slowly, sliding to the edge of the bed. She swung her legs to the floor and pushed with her arm at the same time, so that the momentum of her legs would sit her up...she didn't want to take any chances. She decided to give herself some time before she moved again, and took in her surroundings. 

Cadogan had taste, she had to admit. The room was a dark tope, with wisps of a faintly lighter color, almost undetectable; it served to give texture. He had beautiful mahogany furniture that was obviously antique and very well taken care of. The floors were a rich oak; the grain had a sheen to it and had a little tint of red. 

Surprisingly enough, he had no pictures anywhere; it was almost as if where he lived was staged. Boris jumped off the bed and trotted out of the room, his stubby tail flicking back and forth. Kara pushed herself off the bed and onto the floor. {Thank goodness he has a high bed} She looked around for the restroom, needing to know just how disheveled she looked. By no means was she conceited; but she had a sense of propriety. 

The door to the restroom was towards the back of the room. She walked towards it gingerly, but as she walked she felt no pain, and figured it had subsided. When Kara opened the door and her jaw dropped. The bathroom was like an oasis; there were plants everywhere—yet the positioning and species complimented each other and made it seem like a rainforest... however all the walls were painted a red-orange with gold ever so slightly sponged over it; giving the impression of being encompassed by a sunset. {Talk about ambiance... wonder where the toilet is} Above the claw foot tub were lighted glass blocks; casting an amber light into the tub. 

Kara's eyes roamed over towards the mirror and was utterly shocked. She thought she would look like a ragamuffin, but to her surprise she looked...beautiful. {No wonder why he was being so nice...or maybe it is the awkward lighting in here} Her hair was a golden brown auburn with natural streaks of blond running through it from her youth. Kara had never seen her hair so perfect; her long curls tumbled around her shoulders and down her back. Her blue-grey eyes were suddenly piercing in their intensity; the dullness that had crept into them over the years was gone. Even Kara's face had a perfect complexion. {Damn, I should pass out in the snow more often.}

Kara looked behind her in the mirror and saw the shower, {dear lord...} she didn't even notice the shower when she came in. But the shower did not evoke awe in her; it evoked lust. The shower didn't have a door; it had an entry. What separated the shower from the tub was a wall of passion flower vines. There was a huge rainfall shower head connected to a gorgeous marble wall. The rest of the shower looked like stone...Kara made a mental note that if she could, to find a way to stay over night so she could use that shower...{damn how I would like to be fucked—} Kara immediately cut off her fantasy before it began. She realized she was really starting to take to Cadogan; it was beginning to get dangerous. {You remember what happened the last time you let someone in} a voice seemed to say in Kara's head. {As if I am even in his league anyway} Kara retaliated while giving the luxurious shower one more look-over. 

Though Kara did admit if she had the money she would have done something similar...if she even thought of it that is. She opened the door to leave and saw Cadogan slightly stumble after the knob she had just pulled away. Cadogan saw a look of slight irritation on Kara's face before she saw him and laughed at the situation.

{Damn she is so beautiful} "I was wondering where you had run...well, went off to" Cadogan said and smiled. "I see you have found my little oasis."

"Yes, I did. It could almost be a man cave except for the solitary fact that you are missing a flat screen TV suspended from the ceiling over the tub." Kara said.

"You know, I thought of doing that, but the way the studs run up there, it wouldn't have been in a desirable position while sudsing." Cadogan said in a completely serious tone.

Kara looked at him with an open mouth. {Oh my God...} Kara's thoughts were stopped short by the look on Cadogan's face. The corner of his mouth was twitching. {He did not...} Cadogan saw the look change on Kara's face from awestruck to her leering at him. Cadogan started laughing, "Just kidding!" He put his hands up in surrender. If Kara had known him better she would have gone after Cadogan hitting him with a purse...or something...she was trying to hold back her amusement. "Oh come on, I would never put a TV in there, it would totally ruin the ambiance." 

Kara then gave him a quizzical look. {He just used two of the words I used to describe this place...strange} Cadogan was caught off guard by her look, he went from smiling to the look of a person who just walked in at the wrong time of a conversation; lost. The look on Cadogan's face made Kara smile, but with sadness in her heart. {He does care, but he should not waste his time on one such as myself}

"Well, dinner is waiting!" Cadogan said trying to lighten the mood. Kara had completely forgotten about dinner. Her stomach growled in response. Kara blushed a deep shade of red. Cadogan chuckled. "Well, let's not waste any time then." 

Cadogan stepped away from the door, allowing Kara to pass. {Better be behind her just in case} Kara glanced at him as she walked by, raising an eyebrow in question to his gesture. She walked towards the door he had kept coming in and of out when she was in bed. Cadogan could not help but check her out as she walked in front of him. {Damn she has a perfect ass} She walked through to a hallway with beautiful wood wainscoting, letting the delicious smell of the food guide her nose. 

So far, the rest of the house seemed normal compared to his 'oasis'. That is until she walked into the kitchen. It was very obvious that Cadogan was a chef. {Talk about a gourmet kitchen} There was everything a professional chef would need. The cabinets were a beautiful vivid cherry—almost like a mahogany. There were granite countertops with beveled edges, an island in the middle of the kitchen with a huge rack of every assortment of pans known to man hanging above it.

{Wow, he even has sub-zero freezers...} If Kara ever imagined her dream kitchen, this was it. She wanted to touch everything, make notes as to how he did it so she could put it into her plans for her future home. She finally managed to look past the kitchen and she saw that there was a large opening to see into the next room, but that the sheer curtains were drawn. She looked to the left and saw a revolving door; she walked through it.

He had set a table with candles and he walked ahead of her to pull out her chair for her. Kara could not believe what was happening. {Perhaps I am still passed out in the snow somewhere, this must be a dream} Kara pinched her arm as opposed to slapping herself in front of Cadogan. She barely bit back her squeal. {Ow! Fuck! ...This is all too much...} Cadogan noticed her pinch herself and wondered why. {Does she think I am not real or something?} 

Cadogan took his seat across from Kara. He couldn't help but look at her; the way he situated the candles, it framed her face, making her look like an angel. Kara looked down at her plate. She had to keep from drooling at the sight before her. Carved roast pork loin with mashed potatoes and carrots, everything was smothered in gravy...{Just the way I like it}

She looked up to Cadogan with a cocked brow, intent on wanting to know what was really in his fridge. But the dreamy look on his face made her blush and look down. "Why do you keep staring at me like that?"

"Because you are gorgeous."

"Heh, [Kara pointed to her face] this is not normal. I have half a mind to pass out in the snow on a regular basis." Cadogan smiled at her; he thought a woman with a sense of humor was insanely attractive.

"Well...dig in, I hope you like it." Kara smelled the food and smiled {I am sure I will} Kara picked up her fork and knife and took a bite of the pork roast. There was nothing on earth that could have stopped her moan. His cooking was orgasmic; there was no other way to put it. Cadogan heard her moan and his cock stiffened in his pants. {If that is what she sounds like in—} Cadogan berated himself her having sexual thoughts about a woman he had just met and who was in some sort of distress or trouble...but he couldn't help himself. There was some unnatural draw of attraction between them, and the way he had found her...he wondered if it were possible that there was something deeper at work here. He glanced up towards the ceiling questioningly. Kara snapped him out of his thoughts.

"This is delicious Cadogan...thank you."

"My pleasure Kara. I will cook for you anytime." Kara smiled and blushed a little. {If anything this guy would make a great friend...especially if he is willing to cook for me...} Even as she thought about that possibility, a little voice seemed to scream in the back of her mind: {Friend?! Friend! Are you kidding? This guy is it! He cooks, his place is impeccable, his looks are to die for, he has a sense of humor...he is perfect!} That demon of doubt kicked in at that thought. {Perfect...perfect.} A sudden flash of heat went through Kara's body that had nothing to do with desire. Her mind flashed back to years ago, when she had met him. He was perfect, at first. Everything she wanted and more. He had treated her better than anyone else ever had. They had plans to marry, have kids, the whole nine yards. But he...but his past came back to haunt him in the end. He changed, did everything in his power to keep her away from him. She fought with everything she had to save the only true love she had ever known. Finally he came back around, but he was never his old self again, the man she had fallen in love with. At times she could see it flicker in his eyes, but that was only a passing moment. It killed her, to see what he had become, but her love for him outweighed that pain...but eventually— "Kara?" Cadogan couldn't stand the blank look that had come over her face any longer. Kara seemed to shake her head out of a trance and looked at Cadogan. 

"Sorry. I just realized I had no idea where my purse went." Cadogan knew that this was not what she had been thinking about, but he let it go for now. He had only just met her, and while he desperately wanted to know what was going on, to help her...he didn't even know why.

"It is by the front door...I dropped it when I carried you in. Sorry... I forgot about it."

"Where do you live?"

"East 50th and Waterman." Kara was stunned. Granted this was a really nice part of town, it wasn't as nice as what the interior of his place indicated. Then realization struck Kara.

"You carried me all the way from Fairview?" Cadogan looked down sheepishly.

"Yes." Kara looked at his body. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt, but the thought had never donned on her that he was athletic. A wave of lust slammed into her at the thought of what just might be hiding under those clothes. She gazed into his green hazel eyes, making note of his mussed dark brown hair. {Damn he looks hot. Wonder what he looks like first thing in the morning...} Kara stopped her thoughts again. 

"Thank you Cadogan." Cadogan smiled at her. Kara's stomach reminded her that there was food right in front of her and that it was hungry. Kara started eating again, and didn't speak again until after she had finished her meal. Meanwhile Cadogan watched with interest as she mixed up her mashed potatoes and gravy and dipped her carrots in the mixture before eating them. He could tell she had a slight case of OCD just by the way she ate. 

When she was done, she looked up at him and blushed when she realized he had been watching her the whole time. "There wasn't any bologna or leftover pizza in your fridge was there?"

"No, but I figured I had to do something to lighten the mood." Cadogan grinned, making her laugh. "I also wanted to hear more of your angelic laughter." {Angelic laughter?} 

"I am flattered Cadogan, but I do not have angelic laughter." Kara said in an amused tone.

Cadogan searched her eyes. "Says who?"

Kara's amused look faded. She looked at him, felt him trying to find an answer in her eyes and looked away, smiling to herself. Suddenly a yawn escaped her and she instantly put a hand over her mouth, a shocked look in her eyes. Cadogan started laughing, and Kara blushed a furious shade of red, but eventually erupted in peals of laughter along with Cadogan. 

As the laughter faded, Kara's eyes glimmered with happiness she had not felt in a long time. She felt relieved, like a burden had been lifted...a voice began to come forth in her mind, trying to proclaim a warning, but she cast it aside; she was actually enjoying herself and wanted this feeling to last.

Cadogan watched her laughing; her face framed by the candles, and wanted to kiss her so bad. He couldn't stop it; there was nothing that could have stopped him as he rose and walked over to her. Kara didn't even notice he had moved until his face was inches away from hers. 

Cadogan had knelt down and was looking into her eyes. He moved in to kiss her and Kara's heart started beating so fast; she couldn't stop him. She wanted to be kissed, to feel that heat again. When his lips touched hers, a fire was sparked that started growing at a rapid rate. Cadogan ran his fingers through her hair, pulling it away from her face. He kissed her with such delicacy she felt cherished; it was as if he was holding back. His fingers in her hair were keeping her from deepening the kiss.  

She whimpered as Cadogan started kissing her with such a fiery passion that Kara knew if she were standing Cadogan would have had to hold her up. Cadogan wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up. She clutched his shirt hanging on for dear life as he devoured her lips. Suddenly his tongue snaked out and she moaned, the sensation causing Cadogan's cock to harden. Her tongue began to duel with his until he elicited a moan and his cock began to throb. 

Cadogan had never felt anything like the sensations he was feeling with Kara. He had to have more. Kara was getting very aroused, she could feel it pooling between her thighs; it turned her on even more. Cadogan broke his kiss and pulled her hair, causing Kara to bear her neck for him. He barely grazed her skin, causing her to shudder in excitement. Cadogan impulsively started to ravish her neck, using the power of his tongue to flick against her neck, right along a vein, the sensation driving her mad with desire. 

Kara moaned, her underwear utterly soaked with her arousal. Just then her back hit a wall; she hadn't even noticed they had been moving. Kara moaned; she was so hot for him, she had a hard time remembering the last time she felt this way, if she ever had. Cadogan's hard cock began to press onto her. Panic began to tickle the back of her mind, and she slightly pushed at his chest.

Feeling his hard muscles beneath the shirt stalled her; she didn't want this to end, but she didn't know if she was mentally ready for this. Her mind reeled; she finally came to the conclusion that if things were meant to be he would realize and stop. Cadogan knew the instant she changed from being willing. When he felt her pushing at his chest he almost stopped; but when she stopped pushing he kept going. Then he noticed she had stopped kissing him fervently and with reluctance he pulled away from her and rested his forehead against hers. {Oh my God...} Kara thought. "Kara..." Cadogan could say nothing else at that moment.




If Only Ch. 02



Cadogan's arms released her and he held himself up against the wall, both of them panting trying to come down from their euphoric state. When Kara started running her hands through his hair he opened his eyes and looked at her. His cock twitched at the sight of her face flushed and her hair mussed. Cadogan smiled at her and she gave him a small smile back. For some reason Cadogan felt that now was not a time to discuss what had just happened. He quickly kissed her on the forehead and stepped away from her, gathering the dishes. 

{Thank God I am up against a wall..} Kara thought as she tried to regain strength in her legs. Cadogan put out the candles and walked by her with the dishes, into the kitchen. Kara suddenly felt worthless about not helping with the dishes and distraught about what she had just done. {I hope I didn't fuck it up} Suddenly Boris came bounding towards her, jumping up on her trying to lick her face. "Boris!" Kara whined. "Down boy!" Boris sat down, a big smile on his face, panting and flicking his tail wildly. 

"Kara?" Cadogan said from the kitchen.

"Yes..." Kara said in a small voice.

"Would you like some dessert?"

"No thank you, but a glass of water would be wonderful."

Cadogan soon returned with a glass of water and handed it to her with a small smile on his face acting as if nothing had happened. Cadogan turned away, returning to cleaning the kitchen. Kara walked into another room, seeing a leather sofa and sitting down. {So....comfortable...} Kara took a sip of her water and set it down, closing her eyes and thinking about the day. Soon, she drifted into sleep.



If Only Ch. 03



Thank you so much for your comments! Enjoy!

*****

{I feel like such a jerk...} Cadogan thought. {I met the woman hours ago and I can't even keep it in my pants} Cadogan gave an exasperated sigh and set the last dish on the rack to dry. {Please God don't let me have fucked this up...} Cadogan went out into the dining area and Kara was gone. Suddenly Cadogan felt his stomach drop and a wave of anxiety wash over him. He walked by the living room and didn't see her there; he went back to the master and even looked in the master bath, but she was nowhere to be found. 

Boris came up to him and pushed his nuzzle against Cadogan's hand. "Not now boy." Boris nudged his hand again. Cadogan looked down at Boris with irritation, causing Boris to whine and paw at the floor. Then it clicked in Cadogan's head. {This woman has me wound tighter than a friggin'—} Boris whined again. Cadogan bent down. "Do you know where she is boy? Can you take me to her?" Boris yipped in response, and started towards the living room, going around the couch to face Kara.

Cadogan chuckled and ran his fingers in his hair, his heart finally calming down. {She is sleeping...wow, I got that worked up and she was just lying down on the couch} Boris lifted up his paw to nudge her but Cadogan hissed for Boris to stay back. Cadogan walked around to the front of the couch. Cadogan couldn't help but just watch her as she slept, though this time her hair was mussed, and her clothes askew. Cadogan smiled as he remembered why; thinking she looked even prettier now than before.

Cadogan kneeled down to her side, wanting to touch her...but he would have to hold back until she made a move. He didn't want what happened earlier to happen again; not only for their sake, but for the his sake—{I don't think I can stand having another case of blue balls like that again}

Cadogan gently picked up Kara and tried to suppress his arousal when she instinctively clung to him and sighed. Cadogan carried Kara to his bedroom and laid her down on the bed, pulling the covers up over her. She looked so serene laying there; he wondered how she had stumbled in his path. {Better not let this one get away}

*****

Kara woke to the sound of a shower running. {What?—} Suddenly yesterday's events flooded her mind. Kara put her hand to her head and sighed. {Cadogan... is in the shower...} Kara sat up and got out of the bed. She suddenly realized her panties were soaked. {Damn that man. Well, since he is in the shower I might as well get them off now} Kara walked through the house, looking for the laundry room. She spotted it and peeked inside, hoping for a miracle. {Success! Before her on the dryer was a stack of neatly folded towels. 

Kara started taking off her clothes, and realized she smelled. {At least now I have an excuse to use that glorious shower} As she was taking off her underwear, it caught on her foot and she nearly lost her balance, bouncing up and down trying to get the blasted thing off of her. Then she heard a gasp...a very male gasp. Kara stilled. {Oh...my...God...} She turned toward the direction of the sound and her mouth went dry.

*****

Cadogan woke up on the couch, the sun shining in his eyes. He groaned as he got up and stretched, thinking about how the day would play out...hoping for the best. He looked down and let out another groan. {Morning wood...} He walked into his bedroom and saw Kara sleeping in his bed. He smiled; {She sure does look comfortable} Kara was stretched out on the bed, one leg beneath the covers, one leg on top. One arm was beneath the pillow; the other stretched above her head. She was also sleeping with her mouth open...{But in the most delicate way...} Cadogan thought chuckling to himself. 

At his slight chuckle, Kara moaned and shifted in the bed causing her shirt to pull down and Cadogan's cock to twitch. {Damn that woman} Cadogan was now fully erect, and more sexually frustrated than he had felt in a long time. He stalked off to the shower, gently closing the door despite his frustration. He turned the water to its hottest setting, and sat on the toilet picking up his book. {Where did I leave off yesterday morning...oh yes...} Cadogan sat there, willing his cock to behave while finishing the chapter as the shower steamed the room.

Cadogan set the book down on top of the toilet seat tank and walked into the shower, adjusting the knob before he stepped under the water. He put his hands on the marble wall in front of him and hung his head, letting the cascading water fall on his neck and shoulders. He closed his eyes and the first image that came to mind was Kara, when she was standing in his bathroom. 

Suddenly the thought of Kara naked and in the shower with him flashed in his mind. Cadogan moaned, his cock becoming hard again. {Fine!} Cadogan grasped his cock, and started stroking it, images of Kara flashed through his mind, firstly with the way she responded to his kisses, the way she clutched him when he picked her up...the way she looked after they had kissed...

Cadogan's hand started moving faster as he imagined her in the shower with him: Kara stepped under the water with him and tilted her head back, letting the water flow down her body. She tilted her head back down and looked Cadogan in the eyes as she lifted her hands up and ran them through her hair. Cadogan moaned as he saw the water flowing over her face and tits. Then Kara leaned forward and was about to kiss Cadogan, but sucked his lower lip into her mouth and nibbled, pulling back slightly before releasing it. She then roamed her hands over his chest and abs, her hands coming to rest on his cock. She touched him so lightly; he barely felt it, making his cock jerk. Kara smiled and pressed her body up against his. Cadogan was about to kiss Kara when she started to slide down his body , rubbing her tits all the way down, his cock sliding between her tits and butting against her face until she was kneeling in front of him. Kara looked into his eyes as she licked the head of his cock.

"Oh Fuck!" Cadogan moaned as his orgasm pulled him from his fantasy. As he came, the water hitting his cock made his orgasm even stronger. After what seemed like minutes, Cadogan braced his arm against the wall, supporting him. {God that was a good nut} Cadogan lathered himself up quickly and rinsed off, having the hindsight to save some hot water for Kara. 

He stepped out of the shower and grabbed for his towel, only to realize it was not there. {Oh Shit! I left them on the dryer!} Cadogan shook out his arms and legs and slicked his hair back to get rid of the excess water before venturing out into his room. He noticed Kara was gone. {Maybe she is just using the restroom...I better hurry before she comes back} Cadogan quickly sprinted for the laundry room, but the sight before him stopped him dead in his tracks.

Kara was naked, pulling off her underwear. {Sweet Jesus...I knew she had a great ass} Suddenly her underwear got caught on her foot, and she started jumping up and down trying to keep from falling over. He couldn't suppress the gasp as his cock became instantly hard again watching her ample tits bouncing up and down, swaying back and forth. 

Suddenly Kara stilled; he knew she had discovered his presence. Her head turned to the side and she saw him, and after a brief instant of shock, whirled around reaching for a towel. She forgot that her underwear was still at her feet and started to fall. {Oh no...} 

*****

Kara looked at Cadogan, her mouth going dry. To a simple girl like her, he might as well have been a Greek God. His hair was falling into his face, framing those intense green hazel eyes. That chest she had felt earlier certainly owned up to her suspicions. His chest was muscled and broad, his muscles lightly lined, showing he cared about his physique but did not spend hours upon days at the gym. 

Her gaze drifted down to his thick...erect cock and she straightened up and whirled around reaching for a towel, only to fail miserably and start to fall instead. When she hit a hard object, her eyes slowly peeked open, gasping when she realized it was Cadogan's chest. "How did you—." Kara felt that cock against the inside of her thigh and stilled. Cadogan slowly lifted her up and set her down, reaching for a towel and wrapping her in it first.

Kara looked at him, and her mind was racked with thoughts. She quickly glanced at his cock, and then back at him again. Cadogan saw her quick glance and it sidetracked him from grabbing a towel for himself. {What is she thinking?} Kara knew he was aroused last night, but did nothing about it. {He stopped when I wanted him to, without saying a word. He saved my life yesterday, and saved me once again today. He cooked me dinner, did the dishes, tucked me in bed...gave me a dog...} Suddenly a voice popped into her head. {KARA! You have not been laid in years! Years! This is not a relationship! He cannot hurt you, you are not in love!} 

Kara openly looked back at his cock, now feeling the sudden urge to touch it. She saw it twitch, and looked back at Cadogan's face. She could see his pain even as he tried to hide it from her. {Well, I always did enjoy it...} Cadogan saw something flash in her eyes, and then everything seemed to happen in slow motion.

Kara dropped the towel and took a step closer to him. There was something forbidden in her stare; he couldn't quite catch it. Then she seemed to be falling again, but this time it was controlled; precise. When her hands touched his cock he moaned as his hips bucked uncontrollably. She looked up at him and smirked, loving the fact that she could do this to him. She started licking his cock up and down, all over like she was savoring it. 

But little did Cadogan know she was just preparing his cock for her next move. She licked his head and in a smooth movement took his cock in her mouth. Cadogan gasped, not believing what he was seeing. Kara pulled back, leaving just the head of his cock in her mouth. She sucked in her mouth, (similar to drinking from a water bottle without letting the air in) and started to push down on his shaft. 

The pressure in her mouth made Cadogan see stars. Kara kept descending, moving her tongue to one side so her cheek would massage the other side of his cock as she went down further, deep-throating him. Kara still kept the pressure, going down until his cock started going down her throat. Cadogan grabbed her hair as if to hold on.

She stopped at the base of his shaft, then suddenly released the pressure, causing Cadogan to moan loudly and buck again. She gently sucked her way back up to the head of his cock again, and began to descend in the same manner again. "Kara..." Cadogan looked down and moaned. Kara decided this was too good to pass up now. Kara smiled around his cock, then started going up and down faster, keeping light pressure. Cadogan suddenly realized she was fingering herself as she was blowing him.

"Oh my God, Kara...you're going to make me—." At that, Kara moaned around his cock, the vibration triggering his orgasm. "Fuck! Kara!" Kara released the pressure and started swallowing all his cum, moaning the whole time as her own orgasm took her. When Cadogan stopped jerking, Kara slowly stood up and smiled, having a feeling of satisfaction she hadn't felt in years.

Cadogan just stared at her in shock, wonder, awe... "Kara...where...how did you learn to do that...what did you even do?" Kara just beamed back at him, loving every minute of it. 

"Self taught."

"Kara, that was...Oh my God..."

Kara giggled. She couldn't help it. "Glad you enjoyed it so much."

Kara bent down to get the towel she dropped on the floor, and Cadogan groaned. Kara smiled. She wrapped it around herself and handed a towel to Cadogan, who absent mindedly put it around his waist. Kara looked at him, still lost in a euphoric state and chuckled. "Mind if I use your shower?" Cadogan started to nod, then got a confused look on his face. "I will take that as a yes."

As soon as Kara left the room, Cadogan walked to the nearest chair and collapsed. {Kara...Kara...} She had completely changed his whole life in a matter of hours. {What had happened? Where had this completely confident Kara come from?} A voice seemed to answer for him: {I don't know but I sure as hell want to find out more} Cadogan smiled at that thought. 

Kara walked into the bathroom and headed for the shower. She walked in and turned on the water, surprised it was warm already. She stepped under the water, the force of it soothing her tense muscles. {God this feels good} Kara just stood there, letting the warmth sink into her body, her thoughts returning.

{I can't believe I actually just did that...but it felt soo good} Kara blushed at her thoughts. Kara began to scrub herself, and smelled his shower gel. {Now I am going to smell like man all day...} Kara laughed. She couldn't help the warm feeling that had come over her. It had been so long since she allowed herself to indulge; instead of running the other way. Kara's thoughts continued to rack her mind as she finished her shower.

Cadogan was snapped out of his trance at the sound of Boris scratching at the back door. Cadogan willed himself to get up and let Boris in. {I suppose I should begin to cook breakfast anyway} Cadogan thought about what to cook her for breakfast. {I will peg her for a scrambled eggs with cheese kind of girl} Cadogan started walking to the kitchen, then stopped and realized he still needed to get dressed. {Jeez.} 

Cadogan walked into his bedroom and heard Kara still in the shower. {Better pull out something for her to wear} Cadogan got dressed and pulled out his tightest shirt and rummaged through his closet for that pair of jeans that doesn't fit anymore. A thought suddenly crossed Cadogan's mind. {I wonder...} Cadogan went to his tie rack and pulled out a tie he had not worn in years. He left the clothing on the bed and went to the kitchen to start breakfast.

Kara stepped out of the shower and grabbed the towel, drying herself off. It suddenly dawned upon her that she did not really have any clothes to wear. She left the bathroom and saw a pile of clothes on the bed. {This guy is too much} She noticed the tie on the bed and raised an eyebrow, then a smile came out. She knew it was a challenge, and she loved it. {However, he did forget to bring me my bra} Kara thought chuckling. 

She walked out of the bedroom with the towel wrapped around her and went straight to the laundry room. When she heard a utensil drop she couldn't help but let out a suppressed laugh. {It is not my fault he has such short towels} She grabbed her bra and went back to the bedroom, glancing toward Cadogan as she passed by the kitchen. 

She could not help but smile at the look he gave her. She went back into the bedroom and got dressed, surprised that the clothes almost fit. She did notice they were a little worn. {Must be old...perhaps I can keep them} Kara thought with a smile. But the smile was gone quickly when that voice in her mind put her back in her place. Kara fumed. {One day...} 

Boris came bounding towards her and jumped up on her, making her forget her thoughts. "Boris!" Kara whined. She picked up Boris, and looked him in the eyes, trying to be serious. But Boris would have none of it. He started licking her nose, and Kara started giggling, putting him down. Kara smelled food, and went to the kitchen. 

Cadogan did not hear her approach, and when he turned towards her to put the food on the plates, he stopped and gulped. Kara was leaning against the doorway, wearing his clothes. The shirt hugged her a little, and his pants sat low on her hips. He noticed she had wrapped the belt around her waist and had it knotted on the side, the ends of the tie hanging down. 

When he saw what she had done with the tie he smiled. {Very good} Cadogan thought. Kara knew what he was thinking when he looked at the tie around her waist. "Nice try." She said with a smirk. Cadogan just kept on smiling, holding the pan with eggs. Kara jerked her head towards the pan. "Smells good." Cadogan jumped to attention, putting the eggs on the plates.

Cadogan picked up the plates, about to put them on the table. Kara pushed herself off the doorframe and walked over to him, a sly smile on her face. Cadogan stopped in his tracks, his heart starting to thump wildly in his chest. Kara stepped close to him, grabbing the plates and whispered in his ear. "Thanks." She sashayed away from him, a smile on her face. The last time Kara had let this side out of her was years ago, when she was with.. him; even so she could not help but enjoy herself. She missed playing the siren.

Cadogan stared at her as she walked away; looking at the way his jeans hugged her ass. {Damn} Cadogan quickly cleaned up so he could join her. Kara was sitting there waiting for him. Cadogan took his seat and looked up at her. She was staring at him with a half smile on her face, as if she were inviting him to do something.

*

Thank you so much for reading! Please comment, I really have enjoyed the comments so far, plus I want to know your opinion! Don't forget to vote!—Dragon_13



If Only Ch. 04



Sorry it took so long! Life carried me away. But I will try to post more often. Please comment and leave feedback, the last e-mail I received is what prompted me to finish the chapter!

*****

"What?" Cadogan asked. 

"Scrambled eggs with cheese?" Kara inquired, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh." Cadogan lowered his glaze, and glanced away, starting to scratch his head. "I uh...thought you might like—"

"I do." Cadogan looked back up at her, and she had broken into a full smile. "As a matter of fact, it is the only way I like to eat my eggs." Kara then gave him a look as if to say 'Do you have mental powers?' Cadogan smiled back at her. {I knew it!} 

Cadogan glanced back down to his breakfast, eating merrily with a smile on his face. {Perhaps...} Cadogan's thoughts drifted, thinking about possibilities...with Kara. Kara looked at him eating with a smile on his face. Suddenly that wave of heat flashed through her again. {He is too happy...oh Shit...I have to stop this before it begins.}

Kara finished her breakfast quickly, and finally spoke up. "About this morning...I don't know what came over me." Cadogan stopped eating, and looked up at her. She was looking past him, her face impassive. 

"Wha—" Kara closed her eyes and held up her hand, tilting her head down, her other hand going to her forehead. 

"Cadogan, thank you for saving my life, I am in your debt...but please know that this must stop before it begins."

"Kara—" Kara's hand hit the table firmly, enough to keep Cadogan from continuing. She glanced up at him, her look one of determination and pain.

"You do not—" Boris interrupted her, yelping loudly. Kara glanced down at Boris, relief rushing through her. {I almost said too much} "I think it is time I leave now." Kara got up and started for the front foor. Cadogan's heart was beating fast and his mind was reeling. {What happened? What did I do, what did I say?...there must be something I can do....} Cadogan thought hard and tried to think of anything that could save it, at the same time, he questioned himself as to what he was trying to save. {Boris!}

Kara was almost to the front door when Cadogan run up to her. "Wait." Kara gave an exasperated sigh and turned around, preparing herself for an argument. "What about Boris?...You said you would take him, and he needs a home to stay in, at least it is what he deserves." Kara was dumbstruck for a moment at his selflessness. 

"I said I would take him, I will keep my word." Kara turned to go. 

"Hey! What...you...you're not going to just leave and..and never let me see him again are you?" Cadogan bit his bottom lip and glanced down, hoping that what he just said didn't make things worse. 

Kara stiffened. {So THAT is what this was really about! He would rather see the dog than see me!} A flush of anger overcame Kara, but as soon as it came, Kara realized what was happening. Kara frowned and tilted her head down, her mouth agape with a look of disbelief. {Where the hell did that come from?} Kara sighed, letting go of the tension. "I suppose it would only be fair for you to be able to see him [Kara turned to face him] provided that that is the only reason."

Cadogan glanced back at her, releasing his lip. Seeing that she was in fact serious, he immediately started blubbering. "Yes!..Yes...of course." {What other reason could I possibly have when visiting such a beautiful woman?} Cadogan thought sarcastically. 

Angelus watched from the doorway. {Clearly she is going to need more help than I had first anticipated.} Angelus closed his eyes and sought out with his mind. Suddenly the weather outside changed for the worse, and the light sprinkling of snow outside changed to a light blizzard.

Meanwhile, Kara had bent down to pick up her purse and was about to turn to leave when she remembered she was wearing his clothes. She glanced down and let out an audible "Oh." She was about to speak when Cadogan interrupted her.

"You can keep the clothes, they look better on you anyway." Kara just barely managed a small smile. She turned and put her hand on the knob, then remembered. {Boris} Kara turned back and noticed Boris was in the doorway, and saw that his eyes were closed, his neck stuck out, almost as if he were searching for something.

"Boris." Kara called to him. When he didn't so much as acknowledge her, Kara whistled, patting her thigh. "Boris!" He perked up and opened his eyes, then came bounding towards her. Kara gave him a funny look, but shrugged it off and scratched his ears. She looked at Cadogan and gave him a small smile as he bent down to play with Boris a little before she left. Kara opened the front door and was surprised as it swung open with a massive amount of force, swirling wind and snow into the foyer. 

Cadogan's reflexes had him at the door in an instant, before it swung back and caused any of them potential harm. Kara looked at him dumbfounded, but then forgot about it as she wondered where this blizzard had come from. Kara was starting to get overwhelmed; she needed to go home to think. Cadogan saw the look on her face, and sighed.

"Why don't I pull up the car and drive you home." 

"Are you sure?.. I mean, it looks pretty rough out there, I wouldn't want you to get hurt for my sake." Kara said in a small voice. 

"It's ok, I have dealt with worse. Besides, the blizzard just started so the roads are still navigable." Cadogan moved to open the door again and heard a loud thump. "What?..." Cadogan opened the door and was faced with a huge wall of snow, all the way up to his chest, effectively blocking the way out. "Wow." Cadogan tried to push against the top, but the ice was packed so hard from the fall he almost had to use all of his strength just to move a piece off the top of the pile. "That is going to take a long time to move away." The wind started to blow again, forcing Cadogan to close the door to prevent snow from coming inside.

Kara stood there shocked. {You have got to be kidding me.} Cadogan turned to look at her and saw the look on her face. 

"Its ok, we can just go out the back door." Kara snapped back to reality and looked at Cadogan.

"No, I think it is pretty obvious that someone doesn't want me to go anywhere. Besides, it is starting to get dangerous out there. No point in risking our lives, I do not have to be anywhere for a couple days anyway." Cadogan blinked at her. {I was just wondering if there was an ulterior motive to a massive amount of snow landing on my front doorstep, glad I didn't have to question that and have her thinking I was some weird superstitious guy.} Cadogan looked down, and realized she only had her purse.

"Well, it gives us time to wash your clothes, you almost forgot them." Kara looked down and realized he was right. 

"Yeah, that is a good idea. I should probably—" Kara's phone started to ring. Kara confusingly glanced down at her purse and knelt down to retrieve her phone. "Hello?" 

"Kara!!! Where are you? Are you ok? Where have you been? I was so worried—" 

"Whoa, whoa! Who is this?!"

"What do you mean who is this?! It's Claire! Or have you forgotten your only friend?! Kara wanted to contradict her assessment of being her only friend, but she realized that sadly, it was true. Kara looked up at Cadogan. The way he was looking at her, she could almost hear the wheels turning in his head; wanting to figure out and ask questions.

"Why are you freaking out Claire?"

"Why am I freaking out?! Because we were supposed to go out Friday night and you disappear without a trace! I have called all the hospitals, called the police, been hysterical for the last day—wait, what happened, where are you?" Kara sighed.

"I had an anxiety attack Friday afternoon and passed out in the snow. I woke up to a guy who was taking care of me making sure I was ok, and he cooked me dinner. I was so tired after, I passed out on his couch, woke up this morning was about to leave when the blizzard started, so now I am going to stay here until things calm down. Does this answer all your questions?" Cadogan stared at Kara. She had summed up a life-changing event for him in a matter of sentences. Yet she hadn't mentioned anything concerning what happened between them, not even Boris. {Perhaps she pushes everyone away.} 

"THANK GOD! My prayers have been answered! Finally—"

"Wait, what do you mean 'your prayers have been answered'?"

"You finally found a guy! Oh I am so happy! What's his name? What does he look like?"

"Whoa Claire. Stop jumping the gun here." Kara started to walk away, toward the laundry area. "I just met this guy. What on earth makes you think I have finally found someone? You have no idea what you are talking about. In all the years you have known me have you ever even seen me talk to a guy unless it was work related?"

"Well I thought—"

"There is a reason for it Claire. There is a very serious reason why I do not pursue men nor have for years."

"Kara please just—"

"I will let you know when I am able to leave Claire. Until then, just...let it go."

"Fine. Excuse me for being worried about you Kara. Honestly, no matter what happened or how terrible it was there comes a point in time when you have to move on."

"Goodbye Claire." Kara hung up the phone and stared at it. She put it in her pocket, and when the phone fell further than normal she remembered she was wearing Cadogan's clothes, and that she had walked away from him..and that he probably heard the whole thing. But, instead of turning around she just walked over to the laundry area and picked up her clothes.

Cadogan was looking at the doorway he had seen Kara go through. Everything she had said over the phone was reeling in his mind, he wanted to help her, he wanted to do so many things with her...but how can you fight what you can't see or understand? 

He had only known her for a day, and she had impacted his life this much already. It excited him, and scared him a little. But then again, right now would be the time to start thinking about settling down. He was older than what he had imagined he would be married by, but things never worked out, there was always something missing in all the women he had met. 

And now, he finds what was missing in a woman he has known for hours, and it will be exceedingly difficult for him to get over that wall. {'a very serious reason...' what does that mean? But then again, the things that mean the most in life are never easy. Well, all I can do is try.} Cadogan walked through the doorway, looking for Kara. He found her in front of the laundry holding her clothes. 

Kara heard him come into the room, but she didn't want to talk about anything right now, all she really wanted to do was go somewhere to think. But...that wasn't going to happen for hours. Kara sighed. "Do you have any clothes you need washed? I would hate to waste a load just for a couple of my things."

Cadogan had opened his mouth to speak, but Kara beat him to it. {She obviously does not want to talk about it} "Yeah, I suppose I can get a few things, be right back." Cadogan went to his room in search of clothes.

{Thank God he got the picture. But, inevitably we will have to talk about it. Damn.} Kara mulled over how in the world she was going to even explain anything without looking like a fool. She can't deny that there is chemistry between them, but to finally take that step...terrified her.

"Here you go." Kara jumped a little. She hadn't even heard him come back into the room. {Plus, there is that to talk about...his reflexes and physical demeanor are unusually fast} "Thanks." Kara loaded the clothes into the laundry, semi-surprised that he picked out the darks to wash with hers. She turned on the cycle, and turned to face Cadogan. 

"I suppose you are going to keep trying to get an answer out of me, aren't you?" Cadogan shifted his eyes to hers, looking caught. "Well, we might as well get it over with, but you have to answer some of my questions first."

"Okay, sounds fair." They both went into the living room and sat down on the couch.

*

Don't forget to comment and vote!! Thank you so much! 



If Only Ch. 05



Sooo sorry for the wait. Life tends to carry you away sometimes, and with it the inspiration to your story! Hoping to overcome this writer's block, your comments would be extremely appreciative. As for questions pertaining to some of the characters, the mystery will be revealed in good time. Thank you!

*

Cadogan looked at Kara wondering what she was going to ask. He can only hope that he will be able to answer her questions. Kara looked up at Cadogan, catching him staring. As much as Cadogan wanted to look away, he couldn't do it. 

Kara held Cadogan's gaze, wondering which question to ask first. {May as well start at the beginning} "You say you carried me from Fairview; what do you do, or have you done to get in such good physical condition?" 

"Uhh...well...for pretty much my entire youth I spent my summers at my grandparent's house. They own a farm and I did everything I could to help out. I realized that while doing so I became conditioned and stronger every summer, so I just decided to keep things going when I came back by hitting the gym every week."

"Hmm...and how do you account for your unusual quick reflexes?" Cadogan barely withheld his shock at her noticing that. {Perhaps that is a question I can ask her}

"Well, I have always had quick reflexes, sort of growing up on a farm, you learn to develop that being around animals a lot, but perhaps what really helped that was my older brother. He had a thing for boxing..still does, and always used me as a sparring partner."

Kara looked at him for a while after that. Was he telling the truth? He had given her no reason to doubt her but...Kara sighed. {I think he has proven himself worthy of at least my trust} "Why do you want to help me?...know about me?"

"That is a question I find difficult to answer myself. I have done things in the past 24 hours that I have never done before in my life; let alone trying to figure out why..." Kara looked down and blushed. She knew the feeling. 

"You can ask whatever questions you want." Kara said in a small voice, still looking down. Cadogan reached to her and lifted her chin.

"Are you sure?" 

Kara looked into his eyes, searching. Her intuition told her she could trust him, and she had never talked about it with anyone else. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that it was 'time'. The feeling made her want to cry, but she bit back her tears, not wanting anyone to see, much less him... weakness.

"Yes."

"Okay. I guess...well, I was going to ask as to why you were passed out in the snow, but you said on the phone that it was an anxiety attack—"

"Do you want to know what happened, why I had an anxiety attack?"

"Well..." Cadogan started.

"If you have any other questions, you might want to ask them all now because the answers to all of them could be the same reason."

"Okay..umm...what happened at breakfast, and I uh.. noticed when you were on the phone.. well...um, why do you push everyone away, and...[Cadogan looked down] what is the 'very serious reason'...also, why did you ask the question about my reflexes?"

Kara thought for a moment. "Alright Cadogan, I will start at the beginning. Eight years ago I met someone. His name was Cole. We started dating, and everything was perfect, at first. We never even argued. But suddenly everything changed. He started pushing me away, and wouldn't even give me a reason why. By then I had fallen deeply in love with him, the kind of love that you would die for, do anything to save. 

"I just couldn't let it go without a reason. So I started digging, trying to find out what was happening to him that he would forsake our love...we had plans to marry, have kids... The more I found out about him, the less I wanted to know. Then he finally told me. Turns out that it was all true, but the reason he was pushing me away... [Kara's voice started to waver] was to protect me. 

"He still loved me, but he knew that there was nothing he could do to protect me if I stayed with him. Do you know what that feels like? To love someone so much and for them to love you the same, and not be able to be with them because of...[Kara closed her eyes and looked down, taking a deep breath] 

"That day I left his house, and started walking.. it was so painful...I made a vow that day that I would never let my heart be broken like that again, even if it meant never letting anyone in again. So for the past seven years I have kept that vow, and yesterday I realized I was walking that same path I did years ago when I left, and then that it was the same day seven years later. 

"I cried in my sleep because I felt the same feeling of being in love, and before I woke up I drifted away from it, and reality replaced the feeling. It may have been an indication that I cannot continue living this way, pushing everyone away, keeping to myself. Being with you for a day made me realize just how much I have missed out, and how much I have missed it. 

"The reason I inquired about your quick reflexes was because I am now always wary of what people have done in their past, and there could be a multitude of reasons why you had such reflexes. Plus, self-defense is very important to me, in my youth there have been a few close calls where something could have happened to me. But every time I was lucky, so for the last seven years I have made sure that luck would have nothing to do with being able to protect myself.

"As for what happened this morning, I noticed how happy you were...and my immediate response was that I had to cut things off; as I have been doing for so long... [Kara looked down] but now I am not so sure. I mean, I won't deny that I have felt the pull between us, and—"

Cadogan was suddenly in front of her, his hand in her hair, forcing her to look into his eyes, those green hazel eyes boring into her soul. He held her gaze, as if to tell her it was okay. He then wrapped his arms around her and just held her. Kara was stunned for a few moments, and then the tears started falling, held back for so long. She clutched him, the feeling almost too much to bear that someone cared enough, someone she barely knew.

Moments passed, and Kara was reluctant to let go, for one, she was embarrassed about crying, and two, it felt so good to be in his arms. When Cadogan suddenly lifted her up and took her to the bedroom, she was a little nervous, but when she looked up at him his glance told her it would be ok. 

Cadogan laid Kara down on the bed and much to her surprise, climbed in with her, to cuddle. Kara turned toward him and rested her head on his shoulder, noticing that Boris was curled up on the floor. She looked up into his eyes and he kissed her forehead, holding her close. As she fell asleep, all she could think about was that she had not felt so.. safe, warm...in a long time.

*****

The next morning, she woke up before him, and stared at him sleeping while she contemplated what she was going to do, if she even knew how. After minutes, the only thing that came to mind was to take it one step at a time. However she really wasn't looking forward to Claire's bombardment of questions that was sure to come next time she saw her. 

Kara thought Cadogan had slept long enough, and leaned in close to him, letting her lashes flutter against his cheek. He moaned and opened his eyes, smiling. "Nothing better than starting off a morning with butterfly kisses." Kara couldn't help but smile back. {Wait a minute...it's morning?} Cadogan noticed the slight frown forming on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"It's morning."

"And?"

"We slept all day and night yesterday." Now Cadogan frowned, trying to recall yesterday's events. Then it hit him that the last meal they had yesterday was breakfast.

"We did, didn't we? That would make today Sunday."

*

Please comment and vote! I would really like your input! --Dragon_13



If Only Ch. 06



To those of you who commented and sent e-mails, it really helped get this story out quicker. Thank you!

*

[Kara sat up] "Wow. Then I need to be at work tomorrow." Kara said.

"I have to be at work tonight, Sunday nights can get a little busy at the restaurant." Cadogan said as he sat up as well. 

"Oh yeah, where do you work?"

"Well, I don't really consider it work, I actually own Medwins."

"You own Medwins?!"

Cadogan laughed. "Yes...on occasion I get a request to cook, but for the most part I oversee the chefs in the kitchen, make sure that they put the special ingredient in the food." Cadogan winked at Kara.

"Special ingredient?" Kara raised an eyebrow.

"Yup."

"And what, may I ask is the special ingredient?"

"I am afraid I would have to get to know you very well to reveal the secret to my success. [Kara blushes] How about dinner tonight?"

"But... I thought you had to work..."

"At Medwins. Kara, will you have dinner with me at Medwins?"

"Wha...buh....I... I've never been to dinner at a place so nice.." [Kara lowered her head]

Cadogan lifted her chin and looked into Kara's eyes. "Kara, will you go to dinner with me?"

{Well, when he asks like that how can I resist} "Okay, but— I will warn you, I have not been on a date in a very long time, and if things start to get a little awkward, then—"

"Kara, [Cadogan cut in] it doesn't have to be a date, [Kara breathed a sigh of relief] ...yet." Kara looked at Cadogan, dumbstruck. Cadogan smiled confidently. {That little...}

"And what makes you think you will get a second date?" Kara teased.

Cadogan smiled when she said second date, but didn't point it out to her. "A man can dream can't he?" Kara smiled and laughed, shaking her head. {He really is something} 

"Careful Cadogan, you'll make my head big." Kara laughed. {If only she knew} Cadogan thought. Cadogan opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by the telltale scratching on the back door. "What's that?" Kara asked.

"That would be Boris at the door; time for breakfast!" Cadogan moved to get out of bed. As soon as Cadogan said "breakfast," Kara was instantly reminded that they had pretty much slept for a whole day and that she was DYING of hunger. To further her thoughts, her stomach growled in agreement...loudly. 

Cadogan turned to Kara and took in her wide eyes and bright red cheeks, took her hand and said "Don't worry; I will start on breakfast right away. You are free to use the shower while you wait though." Kara nodded her head, and Cadogan went to feed Boris.

Kara rolled her eyes upward and sighed. She wanted to fall back into the sheets and disappear. {That was so embarrassing! Well, may as well go and take a shower.} Kara got out of bed and took off her clothes, laying them down on the bed.

Kara walked over to the bathroom, sighing as she entered. {I can get used to this} She decided to explore a little more and looked around...particularly for the water closet. She walked to the back of the bathroom, past the vanity and it was on the other side of the wall. {Hmmm...} She turned around and there was the entry to the shower. {Go figure}

Kara turned on the shower to let it heat up, and double checked that there were towels this time. She stepped in the shower, and let the water soothe her body. She thought about what the night would bring. She had a lot to do until then, and boy was she not looking forward to having to ask Claire for help with what to wear tonight. She may even have to go shopping...{God...} 

As Kara stood there, Angelus watched with a smile. {I think she may finally be ready...though this is only the beginning, and she will go through pain greater than before if she is to overcome the scar on her heart, and truly let another in..} 

*****

Cadogan walked into the kitchen and went to the back door to let Boris in. Boris yipped in delight when he saw Cadogan. "I know boy, sorry I slept all day yesterday, you must be starving." Cadogan said as he scratched Boris' ears. Cadogan straightened up and grabbed the bag of dog food and poured some in a bowl for Boris. He then went to the fridge to get started on breakfast for Kara.

He looked at the shelves, opened drawers, suddenly nervous about what he was going to cook. {Oh wow, that hasn't happened in a long time} Then Cadogan straightened up and went to the pantry. As soon as he opened the doors, his eyes landed on a brown paper bag. {Success!} He skipped over to the fridge, rummaged around and found everything he needed. He was nearly jumping for joy. {No better way to start off a special day than with a special dish!} Cadogan pulled out the pans, and set to work. 

*****

Kara decided it was time to get out of the shower, her stomach once again reminding her to 'feed me.' She dried off and walked back into the bedroom. She approached the bed with every intention of putting the clothes back on, as she had nothing else to wear...but feeling so clean, she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She looked around the room, and located the closet. 

Kara opened the closet and looked at the long line of shirts, an idea formulating in her mind. {Now to choose what color...} Kara smiled as she found the right one, and put on the shirt. She looked down and was glad that it was just long enough. She rolled up the sleeves, went over to the bed and grabbed the tie, tying it around her waist and knotting it on the side. Kara was pretty pleased with her ensemble, and decided to head into the kitchen to see what Cadogan was up to.

Kara walked into the kitchen and was hit with a pleasantly familiar smell. Cadogan turned around and nearly dropped his spoon again, stunned by the image of perfection before him. {She is wearing my shirt...} Cadogan fought the urge to moan. Kara gave him an impish smile, and Cadogan gulped. 

"So, what may I ask are you cooking? It smells familiar..." At that Cadogan perked up and shooed her out of the kitchen. 

"Go and keep Boris company, this is a surprise! [Kara gave him a funny look] Go!" Cadogan finally got her out of the kitchen. {Dear God....} Cadogan went back to work on the finishing touches, meanwhile having to adjust his pants to try to alleviate the discomfort she caused. {How am I going to get through dinner if she looks that good in just my shirt?...Just my shirt?! Could she...no...oh boy...} 

The thought that Kara was wearing just his shirt, with nothing underneath, had Cadogan biting the inside of his cheek, willing his cock to go down. {Surely she will notice if I walk out there now..} But knowing Kara was just in the next room, setting eyes on her again would surely be his undoing.

So Cadogan did the only thing he could do. He turned the oven on and stuck in the prepared food to keep it warm and snuck down the hall to relieve himself—before he embarrassed himself. He came to the hall bath and silently shut the door, or so he thought. Cadogan gripped the counter and looked in the mirror, trying to get a hold of himself.

But the longer Cadogan stood there, the longer he realized it was futile. He freed his cock and sighed. There was already precum oozing from the tip, he couldn't remember the last time he was this hard, and without any contact! He touched his cock and gasped. His other hand gripped the counter until his knuckles turned white. He began to stroke his cock, and the image of Kara in his shirt flashed in his mind. His cock jerked, and his strokes became faster. "Kara.." He was almost there...

Kara peeked through the crack of the door stunned. She just couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he was masturbating not five feet away from her. She heard him moan her name, and a wave of unrelenting heat slammed through her. She wanted to open that door and feel her lips wrapped around his cock again. But at the same time she knew it wasn't the right time.

Just as Kara nearly lost her nerve to go in there, Cadogan let out a guttural moan and Kara could tell he was restraining the roar that wanted to erupt from his lips. Cadogan came in the sink, and Kara could not help but think {what a waste}. Cadogan started to wash up, and Kara moved away from the door, heading back to the dining room. 

A few minutes later, Cadogan brought the food, and Kara gasped as she realized what he had made. {Tenderloin benedict!} Cadogan smiled as he saw her reaction. "Sorry it took so long, I got a little distracted." Cadogan said. {I'll say...} Kara thought.

*

Please comment and vote! I would love to hear your opinions! 



If Only Ch. 07



Sorry about the delay, but I wanted to make this chapter longer so I waited a few more days to post. Enjoy! —Dragon_13



As Cadogan set down the food, Kara inhaled the aroma and a memory came back to her, when her parents were still alive. 

She was sitting at the table, banging her fork and knife up and down in each hand in excitement. Today was her birthday, and whenever there was a special day her mother would cook tenderloin benedict for breakfast, as the hotel had served it for breakfast when they were on their honeymoon. "Alright, alright Kara, I am coming with it now." Her mother said. "Yes!" Kara replied. Suddenly Kara's mother looked at her and started saying "Kara" over and over again like there was something wrong.

"Kara!" Cadogan said. Kara started shaking her head and darted her eyes back and forth, finally settling on Cadogan. "Kara, are you alright?"

"Yeah." Kara replied, putting her hand to her head. "Sorry, I kinda had a flashback of the last time I ate tenderloin benedict."

"Well... do you want to talk about it?"

"Nah, it's... kind of bittersweet."{Not quite sure I am ready to go there yet}

"Ok, well...is this ok? I mean I can cook something else..."

"Oh, no...this is great. I am sure it is going to be delicious." Kara said with a little smile. Kara looked down at her plate, seeing how much effort he had put into the presentation, knowing how much he liked her, how much he would care for her, and she silently begged God to let this be real. To let this...tonight be the beginning of something. Kara picked up her fork and started to eat.

Cadogan looked at Kara, wishing there was something he could do, some way he could take away the pain present on her face, but before he could say anything her expression changed. It changed to something different, possibly...longing? {Maybe...maybe I can take away her pain by giving her happiness} He noticed she had started eating, so he joined in, wondering what the day would bring.

When they were finished eating, Kara stole a glance at Cadogan, and caught him looking at her. She started laughing, and soon Cadogan as well, after the blush that had suffused his face went away. When the laughter died down, Cadogan stood up to get the dishes, and Kara quickly got the glasses, wanting to help a little. When she stepped into the kitchen, she saw the time and gasped. {Oh boy...}

"What is it?" Cadogan asked. 

"Well.... It is already 11:00. I have so much to do..."

Cadogan chuckled. "I see. Let's not waste any time then. Go ahead and get your things together, and I will meet you...by the back door."

Kara laughed, remembering that the front door was blocked off. She walked up to Cadogan, and much to his surprise, kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you." Cadogan smiled, and Kara walked away, to the bedroom. She went ahead and made the bed, looking around for anything else. {Wait a second...where are the clothes Cadogan lent me?} Kara went to the laundry room, and saw them folded neatly in a pile on top of the dryer. 

{When did he find the time to do that?} Kara smiled. Then she got a naughty thought. She grabbed a plastic bag and put her clothes in it, all except for one item. She went back to the bedroom, giggling all the while and dropped the item on the floor, kicking it underneath the bed. 

She went to the front door and grabbed her purse, and tried to remember where she put her cell phone. She went into the living room, and saw it on the coffee table. {More missed calls from Claire} She opened up the phone, and called Claire before she ran out of battery. 

"Claire?"

"Kara?! Kara! Are you still at that guy's house?!"

"Claire...calm down."

Claire took a deep breath. "Ok."

"Now, day before yesterday we got snowed in, and I finally opened up about my past to Cadogan. I was so emotionally exhausted; we slept the entire day yesterday. This morning, Cadogan invited me to dinner at Medwins—[Claire squealed] and [Kara said with emphasis] I need something to wear. So, I will meet you at my house in an hour, and we will go from there. Bye Claire." Kara hung up the phone before she yakked her ear off. 

Kara went by the kitchen and found Boris lying down by the back door. "Hey boy!" Kara said while scratching his ears. "You are coming home with me today" Boris yipped in approval, and Cadogan leaned against the doorframe, smiling. 

"Ready to go?" 

"Yeah. Is there anything I need to take for Boris?"

"Umm... a few things. Let me get them for you." Cadogan went around the house and gathered Boris' things. When he was finished he met Kara by the back door and opened it for her, half expecting there to be snow there too, but much to his surprise, there was none. There was barely any snow on the ground. {How?...} 

Kara looked at Cadogan and saw him pause. "What is it?"

"Well, there is barely any snow on the ground; didn't expect it." Kara looked out the door and was almost surprised, but somehow, after the last few days....this wasn't a shock. Though...it was interesting.

"Well, it is a good thing, right? This means that we can go and get back to our lives. [Cadogan couldn't help but feel sadness at her words] I don't know about you, [Kara turns to Cadogan] but I have a lot of things to do before tonight. [As Kara said this, she saw the look of discomfort on Cadogan's face] Are you OK?" 

Cadogan felt depressed about her going back to her own life, although it would be the norm, until she said she had a lot of things to do before tonight. But before he could get excited about it, she asked him what was wrong. Cadogan looked at her. "Nothing, [he said with a genuine smile] let's get you to your place."

"Ok." Kara kneeled down and looked in the bag of things Cadogan gathered for Boris. She found a collar and leash, and put them on Boris. They walked out around the building to the front and as they passed the front door, they both looked half expecting for there to be no snow in front of the door, but there was still that looming pile. Though when they bumped into each other because they were looking at the same thing they both laughed.

When they arrived at Cadogan's car, Kara was a little surprised to see that he had a normal car, since his place was so extravagant. He opened the door for her, and before she could get in he took her bags, giving her a polite smile, making her laugh. He opened the back door for Boris, and set the bags next to him. 

He walked around and started the car, beginning to back up but he stopped. "So...where to?" He looked over to Kara. She looked at him and raised her eyebrows.

"Hmm?" Cadogan laughed.

"Where do you live?"

"Oh! [Kara laughed as well] I live over by Morris Square, Addison Avenue."

"Ok...I'm not really familiar with that Square, but it is over by Fairview, right?"

"Sort of, just head that way and I will direct you."

"Ok." Cadogan began driving, but the silence was stifling. "So, you know where I work, where do you work?"

"Well, I work as a physician's assistant at the office of Dr. Gene Dalton. Claire is the receptionist. Eventually I will open my own practice; I have been saving up for some time. 

"Ah. That explains how you reacted about the whole anxiety attack thing." Kara smiled. The rest of the drive was more or less silent, with Kara giving directions here and there. Soon enough they were rounding Morris Square.

"Ok, there is Addison Avenue, now continue down about two blocks. My address is 213." Cadogan pulled to a stop in front of a house, similar to that of a row house but separated. Although, contrary to all the other houses on the street that were white and 2½ stories, hers was 1½ story and not painted, but a dark wood. Kara could see the curiosity on his face and answered his question before he asked it. 

"When these houses were first being built in the late 1800s, these lots were all bought by the high class of society, except one. One man had been saving up all his life. He was a farmer, and had just married one of the prettiest girls in town. He knew he was a lucky man, being with a girl like her, and wanted to get the best for her. So, he sold his farm and with all the money he had saved up bought this lot, and built a wonderful house on it. Much to the high class neighbors dismay, there were no covenants of any kind back then determining what a house should look like, and he didn't like painting wood, and felt no reason to build any more than he needed." [Kara laughed] 

"The house stayed in the family for many years, and by the time it left the hands of that family, there was much talk about knocking it down and building one just like all the others on the street. Well, the historical society stepped in and decided that it was a part of history and bought the house, selling it to one of their own who kept up the property."

"As a child, we would pass by this house on occasion and I always said I wanted to live here. Just something about this house...made me want to have it, keep it the way it was. As soon as I heard it go back on the market, I used my parent's insurance money to buy it and fix it up."

Cadogan looked at Kara and smiled. {She really is something} "Well, I will have to see the inside of this some other time, I am sure you have much to catch up on." Kara leaned over and kissed Cadogan on the cheek, giving him a warm smile. 

"Ok, what time can I expect you?" Kara asked.

"How about 5:30?"

"Well, that gives me good reason to limit my time with Claire, today is going to be a long day, but 5:30 it is." Kara said jokingly...sort of.

Cadogan laughed. "Ok, see you then." Kara got out of the car and opened the rear door, letting Boris out and grabbing his and her things. Cadogan unbuckled his seat belt but before he could do anything else, Kara stopped him. "Hey! I got this; you just sit there and look handsome." Cadogan had a look of disbelief on his face. Kara stuck her tongue out at him and closed the door. {Oh, she's gonna get it later} Cadogan thought as he smiled. 

Kara walked up to her house, smiling. She unlocked the door and closed it behind Boris, making a beeline for the bedroom to plug in her phone. She walked back into the living room, finding Boris already making himself at home on her rug. "I am going to have to find you a bed today. Wish I could take you with me, but I don't think some of the shops we are going to go in today would much appreciate you with me." Boris whined in response. 

"Its okay Boris, I will be back to see you in a few hours." Kara said while scratching his head. Kara went into the bedroom to change into something more appropriate, and called Claire, who said she was already on her way and would be there in 10. Kara laughed, {that Claire} putting down the phone. Kara went around the house and watered her plants, as well as putting some water in a bowl for Boris. 

As soon as she was finished, she heard Claire pull up outside. Kara grabbed her phone and purse and went outside, mentally preparing herself for the onslaught of questions sure to come. Sure enough, as soon as she got in the car, Claire started asking a ton of questions.

"Claire...[Kara whined] I will tell you over the drive, put you are driving me crazy."

"Ok..." Claire said meekly, ducking her head a little.

"As I told you before, I had an anxiety attack; why doesn't matter. Cadogan found me and carried me to his place, taking care of me until I regained consciousness. Then he cooked for me, actually he cooked the entire time I was there. But soon enough I opened up about my past...a little, and it was too much, had been held for too long. Well, we slept for a day...just sleeping, nothing more." [Kara said eyeing Claire] 

"Then we woke up, he made me breakfast, he owns Medwins—" Claire just about got them in an accident.

"HE OWNS MEDWINS?!" 

"Yes, he owns Medwins and wants to take me to dinner tonight. NOW, [Kara interrupted before Claire could say anything else] you can see the dilemma I am in of needing to find something appropriate to wear."

"Yes, Yes I do." Claire said. "This is going to be so much fun!

"Oh boy..." Kara said.

They arrived at the first shop, Kara noticed it was a dress shop. "A dress?"

"Yes, a dress. I have never seen you in one, and frankly you need to step it up. If this guy likes you as much as it seems he does, you need to make sure to make an impression."

Kara begrudgingly agreed, and went into the shop with Claire. Of course, Claire headed straight for the formal attire, and Kara groaned. "Claire.."

"Kara, I know that this is a big step for you, however; Medwins is nearly a black tie affair. You need to not only look stunning, but be dressed accordingly." Kara knew she had a point, but she was just thinking along the lines of a little black dress. Claire started pulling out dresses, most of which made Kara's eyes go wide.

"Claire...some of these are really too much..." The colors...red, purple... Claire shoved Kara into a dressing room and had her dress up in all these different dresses, but none of them were to Kara's liking. Claire was getting frustrated, and finally Kara spoke up.

"Claire, just let me go and look for the dresses for a minute, ok? I promise to pick one that is formal." Claire huffed but let Kara go and look. Kara went through the store, looking at the racks, but nothing seemed to jump out at her. Finally, she was passing by a rack of bright colors, almost blinding, and saw some of a slate gray dress peeking out.

She grabbed it, and it looked okay, but she figured she should try it on anyway, she really like the color. She walked back into the dressing room, passing Claire with a smile. Claire looked at the dress and rolled her eyes at the color, not seeing how Kara could make an impression with a dreary color.

Kara put on the dress and gasped. It hugged her bust, and had a diagonal pattern of barely there sequins across the middle, and flared out to her ankles, with a moderate slit on the right side. But it really made her eyes pop, and her curls stand out. Kara opened the door and stepped out, facing Claire.

Claire took in Kara's appearance and gasped as well. "It's the one!" Claire said, making Kara laugh. "Now we need to get you shoes, jewelry, your hair—"

"Wow. Hold the phone." Kara started shaking her head.

"No. You need to let go for once. Indulge. You hardly have any jewelry, I am not even sure if you own a dressy pair of shoes, and I know just the person to style your hair."

"Style my hair? I don't need—"

"Kara, you need to trust me just this once, okay?" Kara looked at Claire for a long time, then said "Fine. But if this gets out of hand, don't expect a phone call next time I need help."

"Deal." Claire said, nearly squealing with delight. Kara went back into the dressing room and took off the dress, shaking her head all the while. She paid for the dress, and was tugged along by Claire to a shoe shop. Claire went straight for the stilettos, and Kara had to jump in. 

"Claire, I know you want me to look like a knock out, but if I am going to buy a pair of shoes, I need to be able to walk confidently in them. We will find a pair of sexy shoes yes, but I really don't think strappy stiletto is right for this occasion."

Claire looked at Kara; astonished she said something regarding fashion outright. "Ok." Kara looked through the shop, and tried to find gray shoes to match the dress. When she couldn't find any, she went for the black. {Maybe with a little sequin action to match the waist of the dress...} 

Kara met up with Claire, but she came up empty handed as well. They were about to walk out of the store when an associate walked by them carrying a pair of shoes to put back. Kara stopped the woman and asked if she could see them. They were black with a small gray ruffle around the opening and were peep toe with a skinny heel. They had a splatter of sequins on the top, and Kara hoped they had her size. She looked at the brand, curious. {Go figure, it is by the same designer} 

Kara tried on the shoes, and they fit pretty comfortably. As she was wrapping things up at the counter, Claire was already talking about their next destination. "What about food? Aren't you hungry at all?" Kara asked. "Well, I suppose we could stop and get something." Claire replied. {Suppose?...} Kara shook her head and this time she led the way to a restaurant. 

They got their food, and sat eating in silence; every time Claire would try to speak Kara would give her an eyeful. When they were finished, Claire immediately dragged Kara to a store she had never been in before. "What store is this?" Kara asked. "You will see." Claire replied.

As they walked through the store, they came to a counter in the back with a large selection of beads, and there was a woman sitting there. "What can I do for you?" Claire smiled at Kara and turned to the woman. "I need a set of earrings, necklace, bracelet, and watch for a very special occasion." Kara looked at Claire like she was out of her mind. The woman simply smiled at Claire and asked her what the color scheme was. Claire took the dress and shoes from Kara and told the woman to have at it.

Then, surprisingly, the woman said "Give me an hour." Claire giggled. "Perfect! Let's go and get your hair done!" Kara groaned and was once again tugged to the next shop. {Is there anything Claire doesn't know?} They came upon a hair place, and Claire dragged Kara in. The owner seemed to know Claire and seated Kara right away.

"What can I do for you?" The man asked.

"I want you to make her hair look just like this, only better." Claire said. Kara was about to speak up when suddenly the man looked at her and said "I see....I know what to do!" Kara was getting terrified. Claire noticed the utter panic on Kara's face and kneeled down next to her.

"Don't worry. I would trust this man with my life, if hair were a life and death matter." Kara didn't smile, but gave Claire the blue-eyed stare, promising retribution should anything go wrong. The man turned Kara around much to Kara's dismay, and quirked an eyebrow at her, daring her to speak up. {That man thinks he is so full of himself..} 

Almost an hour later, he turned Kara around and she gasped. Her hair looked just the way she liked to keep it, but...better. Not a hair was out of place, but it looked free? He somehow figured out a way to side sweep her hair so that it stayed in place. "Just don't touch it." The man said. "I won't." Kara replied. They left the hair dresser and went back to the woman, who proudly showed Kara what she had made.

Kara looked at her work in awe. The gray that showed was in cloudy black and gray beads, and the black sequin was represented as hematite. The most intriguing was the stone pendant. It was raw with a polished surface and other gray parts that weren't polished. Kara looked up at the woman. "How did you do this? Where did you find these pieces?"

"If I told you, it would ruin the magic." She replied. Kara looked at her and understood, and turned to Claire, about to ask her how in the world she knew of this woman. However before Kara could speak, Claire thrust a little bag at Kara. "You didn't." Kara said. Claire nodded enthusiastically, and Kara opened the bag, hoping it was something small. 

{No, of course she went all out} In it was a velvet box, and Kara took it out and gave Claire that 'I can't take this' look. Claire nodded her head again, and Kara opened the box, but couldn't even gasp. In it was a silver ring with a square cut hematite stone in the center with tiny pairs of diamonds on either side. "Claire..."

"No, you deserve it. I haven't seen you smile, much less allow a guy to talk to you for longer than five minutes in all the years that I have known you, and this is my getting started gift. You can repay me by giving this guy a real chance." Kara gave Claire a side smile, but nodded her head in agreement. Claire just about started jumping up and down with glee. 




If Only Ch. 07



They left the mall, and Kara told Claire they needed to stop by the pet store. "The pet store?" Kara laughed, and proceeded to tell Kara about Boris. When they were done shopping, Kara tried to shoo Claire away, but Claire insisted she do Kara's makeup. Kara indulged, but told Claire this was a rare opportunity, and not to expect it again any time soon. 

Kara put away Boris' new things, filled up his new dog bowls, and put on his new collar. She then went to get ready, and joined Claire in the kitchen. "Now I want it to look like I am not wearing makeup..." 

"Don't worry...I am the makeup master." Claire set to work, and 15 min later she held up a mirror to Kara. Kara was shocked. She looked gorgeous. Her eyes were smoky, with dark gray instead of black, and it really did look like she barely had any makeup besides her eyes. Kara turned to Claire and her eyes were a little too wet for Claire's liking.

"Don't you dare cry and mess up that makeup. Look at the time; it is 10 till 5:30. Better get going...you better tell me every detail when you get home."

"Deal." Claire left, and Kara started wringing her hands. At exactly 5:30, Cadogan rung the bell, and Kara opened the door, her stomach up in knots. When she opened the door, Cadogan turned to her and his draw just about dropped to the floor. "Oh woa...Kar...Wow."



Please please comment and vote, I really want to know your opinion of how the story is going! Thank you so much for reading! —Dragon_13