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I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 01

By: senorlongo



This is a work of fiction—I made it up. None of the characters are real. Any relationship to real people is unintentional and coincidental. ©2015 by Senorlongo. 

This is a story unlike anything I've ever written. It describes a family's struggle to deal with a major health issue and a wife's total love for her husband. If only women like Lizzie really existed. 

***** 

"Cum, baby...fuck me...flood my pussy." 

"UNNNNGGGGHHHH! UNNNNGGGHHH! UNNNNNGGGGHHHH! AHHHHHHHH!" My head fell to lie on her supple breast as her fingers ran through my hair and my orgasm ebbed, leaving me in post-coital heaven. 

"You okay?" 

I lifted my head so I could look into those clear brown eyes. Smiling, I replied, "Isn't that supposed to be my line?" 

"Normally, it would be, but this is an unusual occasion. You've had an emotionally difficult and challenging day...and you haven't answered my question." 

"Yeah, I'm definitely okay...better than I've been in more than eighteen months...better than I've been since this whole nightmare began." 

"I'm glad and I assume you'll want to do it again." 

"Oh yeah...and, hopefully I'll be able to last long enough to do something worthwhile for you, too." 

"I'm not worried. I know it's been a long time since you had real sex. I'm surprised you lasted as long as you did." 

"I'll get off you now. I don't want to hurt you with my weight." 

"You'll do nothing of the sort," Toni told me. "I like you right where you are. Maybe next time I'll ride you. When I do I'll expect to lie on you before, during, and after." I looked down into those eyes and smiled as I was taken back to our first meeting. 

ONE MONTH AGO 

"Geez! You look like you just lost your best friend." Looking up from my Glenlivet 18 Year-old single malt, neat—a double-I noticed for the first time the woman who had seated herself next to me when the bar was almost totally empty. 

"That's exactly what happened, except it's even worse." 

"Why don't you tell me about it? I've found that talking about a problem sometimes helps." 

"It's really kind of personal. I don't think you'd find it at all interesting, but thanks for the offer." I turned back to my drink, but she didn't leave. 

"I'll have a Chardonnay and another for my friend," she told the bartender. "Can you bring them to that table?" Next thing she had my arm and was turning me toward the rear of the bar. She led me to the booth and pushed me onto the bench before taking the one on the opposite side. She introduced herself once the drinks were served. "I'm Antonia...Toni." 

"I'm Chuck...er, Charles...er, whatever." 

"I'd say it's a pleasure to meet you, but you're obviously not having much of a good time tonight. I also see you're married. I try to stay away from married men." 

"That's who I'm mourning—my wife." 

"Oh...I am sorry." 

"No...I'm sorry. I'm not being very clear. I'm just so upset. She's not dead. It's worse than that." 

"Why don't you tell me about it? Start at the beginning. Go ahead; I have all night." 

I finished my drink and set the glass aside before picking up the second. Closing my eyes for a minute brought me back almost twenty-five years. 

CHAPTER 1 

Starting at the very beginning I allowed my tale to slowly unfold. "I had just graduated from college. Initially, I thought I'd become a doctor, but I learned pretty quickly that I didn't have the self-discipline to do all that studying. I changed after first semester of my sophomore year, opting instead to study education. I had three younger sisters I often helped with their schoolwork and I had enjoyed working with some of the young kids at a junior high as a volunteer tutor while in college. 

"My summer job kept me on the beach as a lifeguard for the State Park Commission. It was a relatively easy job and one I enjoyed a lot more than working for my dad as a part-time plumber's helper. I knew that being a plumber was a good-paying job, but I hated it. I liked the men who worked for Dad, but the work was always dirty and much worse when I had to work on someone's sewer problem—something my dad always seemed to find for me. The beach was clean and I had gained some important people skills I'd find useful in my teaching career. 

"There were preliminary interviews in the placement office at school and I'd been invited to a formal interview at a high school near my family's home during spring break. No Florida vacation for me; I'd be working in the plumbing business the entire time except for the day of my interview. It was also the day I was hired for my first professional position. 

"Once I had graduated I returned home to the plumbing business until the park was officially opened for swimming. I'd had a good summer right up until the last week of August when I had to attend three days of new teacher orientation. Most of it was just as boring as I had imagined, but on Friday they took us by school bus to a county park where we were treated to a party and picnic on the beach. That's where I first met Lizzie. She was a second-year teacher who had been enlisted to help out at the party. We played horseshoes and even swam in the ocean together. Of course, I made sure she was safe the entire time. I'm sure you know how dangerous the ocean can be around here. 

"Lizzie had asked me about my swim suit. 'That's kind of a funny looking suit. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it.' 

"'That's probably true,' I told her. ' You can't buy a suit like this in a store. I get two of them free every year.' I explained that I was a lifeguard and that this was the official New York State suit—navy blue with a wide gold band on each side. Those suits were almost skin-tight, made by Ocean Champion—a company that's out of business now. Think Speedo, but not as skimpy. A tight suit is more important than you might think. First, you can swim faster—there's less drag through the water. Second, there's less for a drowning victim to grab on to. Yes," I continued, "I had to jump in for a rescue more than a dozen times that year. 

"Lizzie was a social studies teacher at the same high school where I taught ninth grade science so we ran into each other fairly often. She was tall, about five feet nine, and slender with smallish breasts and nicely developed hips, weighing about 125 pounds at the time. I thought she was really hot. Our first date consisted of only a pizza and sodas—that was all I could afford-before going to the high school's first home football game. That was the first week in September. After that we dated every weekend and even saw each other on several Sundays. It hadn't been love at first sight for me, but I knew she was the one I'd want to spend the rest of my life with by the end of October. I proposed in mid-November and was shocked when she agreed immediately. 

"Teachers made peanuts in those days. I couldn't afford a ring, but Lizzie didn't care. She clearly wasn't marrying me for my money. I did manage to buy a cheap cubic zirconium ring, promising to replace it with the real thing as soon as humanly possible. That turned out to be years later. That alone should tell you a lot about her. 

"We were married the Saturday after the school year ended—Lizzie was a beautiful bride- and moved into a small one-bedroom apartment after a week-long honeymoon in Bermuda. The following day I was back on the beach with my new wife to share my breaks. Money was tight the first five years with anything extra going either to pay for graduate school at night or the down payment on our first house. We moved in when we had been married five and a half years. We both had master's degrees which helped financially especially two years later when our first child was born. Lizzie stayed home to care for our children and there was no doubt that we were completely in love. We spent every possible moment together, making love four to five times a week, something that has continued until recently. I think you'll understand why when I get to that. 

"Lizzie must have seen something in me because she suggested that I return to graduate school to study school administration. She was right; I loved the course of study, staying to complete a doctorate, and found a position as an assistant principal five years later once I had finished my degree. Three years after that I had my first principal's job. I was forty when I accepted my current job as high school principal in what I think is one of the area's better school districts. (I wasn't prepared to share the name of the district at that point-something I later realized was silly.) Both of our kids attend an excellent university and I doubted things could have been better. Then, when Lizzie turned forty-five, it all fell apart. That was a little over a year ago. 

"I had walked into the house on a Thursday afternoon, surprised when Lizzie didn't return my greeting as she had done every day for the past twenty-plus years. I was a bit concerned when I walked into the kitchen. Then I was in a state of almost total panic. Standing there in the middle, conscious-but seemingly confused and unresponsive-was my wonderful wife." I paused for a few seconds, taking a lengthy sip of my drink. There were tears in my eyes when I looked up at Toni. I was surprised when she leaned forward to kiss them from my cheeks. 

"I thought at the time that she'd suffered a stroke. My arm still around her waist, I pulled her to the phone on the wall, holding her tightly while I pressed 911. I couldn't get the words out of my mouth fast enough and then there was the horrible wait for the ambulance and the police to arrive. Later that night after I called our kids I sat alone in her hospital room while she was being tested. My emotions were out of control when she was wheeled in and placed into the bed. If the nurses knew anything they weren't saying. Lizzie just laid there, her eyes open and still not moving, when the doctor finally walked in to see me. 

"He was Dr. Thompson, a neurologist. He was slow and patient as he explained that Lizzie had not had a stroke. He thought it was something I'd learn to dread—Early Onset Alzheimer's. I asked a lot of questions and he tried to answer all of them. I learned that night that thousands of men and women as young as forty are stricken every year with a condition for which there was no cure. Earlier that evening I had prayed that Lizzie hadn't had a stroke. Later I prayed that she had...anything other than Alzheimer's. 

"Lizzie came out of her...I still don't know what it was—spell...trance...episode, something like that I guess. I really don't know and neither did the doctors. I learned later that she'd had many small short-duration spells over the past months, but had hid them from me in fear of what might be happening to her. She had medicine that made her wired, but at the time I thought that was preferable to the times when she was out of it—when she couldn't recall the simplest things in our life like who I was or the names of our children. At least I could speak with her and hold her. Yes, I know what you're thinking—make love to her. I didn't realize then that all the medication did was to buy a little time. She's still taking medication, but who knows if it's doing any good. I can't see any visible signs that it is. 

"She kept slipping away and, worse, she seemed to realize what was happening. The frequency of the spells began to increase and their duration was longer. Her memory sometimes seemed to completely disappear as she became more and more disoriented. I came home from work several times to find her car in the garage but the house empty. I can't begin to tell you how frantic that made me. 

"One of our ideas was to have a party with our neighbors. Once everyone had a drink I asked for quiet and began to tell them of Lizzie's condition. I could hear the gasps as I described what we, but mostly she, had been through. I finished by asking for their help. Several of the wives were home during the day. Would they be willing to keep an eye out for her? I wasn't at all surprised that everyone volunteered. In spite of that there were still times when she disappeared. A few phone calls brought together a neighborhood posse, all dedicated to finding her and bringing her home safely. 

"Eventually, after about a year, she was spending more time out of it than in. I worried every time I went to work. I wanted to speak with her about what to do, but she..." I had to stop. I realized that I was bawling, tears flowing down my face. Toni patted my shoulder then rose and walked to the ladies' room, returning with some wet paper towels for my face. I was amazed when she washed my cheeks and cleaned my eyes. 

I took another deep swallow of my drink, but turned down the waitress for another. Toni did the same. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving. Believe it or not, the food is fairly decent here. Will you join me?" 

"Of course; I know you have a lot more to get off your chest. I don't want to seem nosy, but I can see how this is a catharsis for you." She reached across the table to rest her hand on top of mine, removing it only when the waitress returned with two menus. I suggested the onion soup knowing that it was home-made and the steak sandwich. Toni followed my lead. My story continued once the waitress was gone. 

"Finally, one Saturday morning Lizzie was lucid and we talked about what was happening and of my concerns. 'I'm terribly afraid that I'll come home some evening and find you dead here in the house or I'll get a phone call that you've wandered away and been killed crossing the road. I don't know what to do.' 

"'You'll have to put me someplace where you know I'll be safe. I'm glad you have my power of attorney. I trust you, darling. I know you'll do what's best for both of us. I have something for you to look at under my bras, but not until you've found a good place for me and I'm there full-time. Now I want to make love with you. I know you won't do it when I'm somewhere else and I need to know how much you love me.' It was the last time-our last time—almost a month ago. 

"It was wonderful, just like every other time, but when we finished I could see that she was gone again. I began looking that very afternoon, checking online and the yellow pages. I phoned the hospital; Dr. Thompson was on duty and was kind enough to speak with me for almost fifteen minutes. He phoned back about an hour later with several suggestions, all in our area. 

"I dressed Lizzie Sunday morning and we went to visit, skipping church for the first time in years. They were all decent, but one stood out. Lizzie would have her own room and she'd have an electronic monitor on her wrist that would tell the staff her condition and location 24/7. She couldn't go outside without an alarm sounding. The room was fairly large, bright and airy, with its own bathroom, a small closet, and a dresser. 

"We ate with the residents and the food was pretty good. The director explained that everything was prepared fresh daily and that their dietician set up meals for each patient based on their needs and capabilities. We'd purchased long-term care insurance a few years ago fortunately because having Lizzie there is terribly expensive. Of course, I'd make any sacrifice for her." 

"I believe you would. I can see how much you love her even after all the years together." 

"Not 'even after,' Toni—'because of'...because of all the years we'd spent together." I paused for a few minutes when our soup arrived. 

"This is pretty good," Toni told me. "I never would have expected...you know, in a place like this." 

"All bars in New York have to serve food—it's the law. Some just serve sandwiches and burgers, but others like this one actually have a real chef in the kitchen." Our dinners arrived a few minutes later so I delayed telling about the heavy stuff until we were done. I continued once Toni had laid her knife and fork across the plate. I had finished sooner, the result, I had often told Lizzie, of dining in my fraternity where fast eaters were often rewarded with seconds. 

"Dessert," I asked. 

"No, thank you; I've already eaten too much. Thank you for dinner; it was really quite good." 

"You're welcome. I guess you know how glad I am for the company. Shall I continue?" I did once she nodded. 

"I had to take a few days off to get everything settled. It's hard for me to take time from work during the school year. The work just piles up and the problems are only put off until I return. Luckily, the superintendent is a really good guy. His uncle had Alzheimer's so he's very sympathetic. It was Thursday by the time I had all the paperwork and insurance straightened out. I dressed her and fed her breakfast, taking time to wipe her face after almost every spoonful. She didn't know me and didn't respond to anything I said. 

"I knew then that she was lost to me...maybe forever. I only knew that I would treasure every moment I was able to spend with her. After breakfast I drove her to the home, bawling every second. That must be a common occurrence; the staff never mentioned a word. I wanted to stay with her, but the nurse said it would be best if I left. I walked into school just after ten. Even the biggest asshole kids knew enough to stay out of my way. I felt that my heart had been ripped from my body—I still do. 

"I go to visit her every afternoon in the hope that she'll recognize me, but she doesn't. She sometimes asks me, 'Do I know you?' I tell her I'm her husband and she tells me she's too young to be married. She's only twelve, after all. Those are the good days. She's like a zombie on the others—totally unresponsive. Those are the days when I pray I'd had the courage to kill her...to strangle the life from her body just so she'd be free of this." 

"What about you? Wouldn't you be free, too?" 

"Me? No...I'll never be free. This will haunt me until the day I die. I went home after seeing her this afternoon and remembered her telling me about something under her bras. I went to our bedroom, opened her underwear drawer and found these." I reached into my jacket pocket, removing three DVD's, each in a paper envelope. They were marked "CHUCK," "CARL," and "HER." 

"Who's Carl?" 

"My boss...Dr. Carl Parker, the Superintendent of Schools." 

"And...Her?" 

"I don't know. Maybe I will once I look at the DVD for me." 

"What? You haven't looked at it yet?" 

"No...I'm afraid of what I might see. Suppose her last message to me is something crazy...something that will haunt me for the rest of my life." 

"You mean like not viewing it is haunting you now?" 

I couldn't help myself. A wry smile came to my face. "Touche! How about you tell me something about you? You already know just about my entire life story." 

"Changing the subject—that's your answer?" 

"No...I'll watch it when I get home, but I admit to being intrigued. Why'd you sit next to me? The damned bar is almost empty. Why'd you spend," I paused to check the time on my watch, "almost three hours with me? I don't think it was for the free dinner. Your bracelet is worth maybe a hundred times more than the twenty-five bucks I'll spend on your meal. So, I repeat...why?" 

"Curiosity, I suppose; you're right about the bracelet. It cost me more than $3500. I work in the family court system. I see misery every day, but I doubt I've ever seen anyone as miserable as you were earlier tonight. I have to go now. Thanks for the dinner. Will I see you tomorrow?" 

"You coming here again?" 

"I think not, but why don't you give me your cell number? I'll call you and we can decide when and where." 

I gave her my number. She leaned down to kiss my cheek. "You're braver than you think, Chuck. Go home and watch the DVD of your wife. I'm sure she'll tell you how much she loves you. That's what I would do." She leaned down and kissed my cheek again. 


I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 01



"How come you're not taken?" 

"Who says I'm not?" 

"No rings...at least, not on the right finger." 

"I was married, but he didn't love me enough—nowhere near as much as you and Lizzie love each other. 'Night, Chuck, I'll try to phone around noon when court is adjourned. That's the time I usually throw up after watching how people who are supposed to love each other repeatedly prove they don't." She turned and walked out of Fred's Bar and Grill. I paid the check and left a few minutes later. 

CHAPTER 2 

Twenty minutes later I walked into our big empty house. We'd had so many wonderful times here over the years. Somehow, I doubted there'd be too many good ones in the future. I missed my wife something awful. A minute later I was in our bedroom and I was crying again. "Oh, Lizzie," I thought. "I need you so badly." Hanging my suit in the closet, I dumped my shirt and underwear in the hamper and walked naked to the shower. Even here I missed Lizzie. We showered together often, expressing our love for each other in just one more way. Once out and dry I donned a tee shirt and running shorts, put the DVD into the player and leaned back onto the bed to see what message Lizzie had left me. Her picture appeared; it was obvious that she'd made this on her laptop. 

"Hi, Chuck—first, I want you to know how much I love you. I know you've missed me when I'm off in my special world, but I've missed you just as much. If you're watching this it means that I've taken a turn for the worse and you've found me a nice place to live where I'll be safe and well cared for. I trust you completely with every aspect of my life. 

"Now I want to get to the point. You've shown me every day how much you love me. Now I need to show you how much I love you. We used to make love as often as we could, didn't we? How many people in their forties make love four to five days a week? Not many, I'd guess. How often have we done it since I became ill? Not enough, that's for sure. 

"You're a man, Chuck, with a man's needs and I know that you've suffered greatly since this happened to me...to us. I know you would never have relations with me while I'm 'elsewhere.' You'd think it was like rape, wouldn't you?" 

"Yes, you know I would," I answered my wife's image on the screen. 

"That's why, Chuck, you need to find someone who will help you with this. You need to find someone to have sex with. I know what you're thinking now, too. You're thinking it would be cheating and you'd never cheat. I'd never view it as cheating, darling. It's something you need and it's something I want for you. 

"I know you'll be reluctant, but I want two promises from you—that you'll do it for me and that when you find her you'll bring her to meet me even if I can't respond—even if I don't recognize you. I'll want you to take her to dinner and shows just like you would if she was your girlfriend—just like you would do with me. I made the other two DVD's with this in mind—one for Carl so he'll know you have my permission and blessing when all those busybodies in your school district call him to complain and one for her so she'll understand what I'm willing to give her. 

"I pray for the day you come to visit me to find I am back with you. On that day we will make the most wonderful love even if we scare the living daylights out of the staff. Goodbye, my darling—I wouldn't trade my life with you for anything. I love you, Chuck, more than I can ever tell you." The video ended then—just as well, I couldn't see through my tears. How could Lizzie love me so much that she'd give me away to another? I brushed my teeth and went to bed knowing that I'd sleep just as poorly tonight as I had every night since this nightmare began. 

The following morning I phoned Carl to ask for an appointment. He told me to come right over. Carl was seated at his desk, but rose to shake my hand the instant I walked through the door. "How's Lizzie, Chuck?" 

"Worse; you know I had to place her into a home for Alzheimer's patients. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do...even worse than when John Riley committed suicide and I had to tell his students." I reached into my jacket for the DVD's and gave them to him. 

"What's this, Chuck?" 

"They're messages from Lizzie. I watched the one she made for me last night. She knows how much I've missed her. She wants me to find someone to fill the void...someone to socialize with and someone for sex. I'm pretty sure yours will tell you that she gives her blessing." 

Carl turned and placed my DVD into his desktop's drive. It told him exactly what I had described then he removed it and replaced it with his. A few seconds later Lizzie's face filled the screen. She told Carl that she wanted me to find someone to fill my social and sexual voids. Once she had finished with that she asked Carl to promise that he'd cover for me when people complained. "You know how small-minded some people can be, Carl. Don't forget that this is what I want for Chuck. I wish it was me, but fate has intervened in a horrible way. Thank you, Carl for your friendship and support. I doubt I'll be able to tell you again how much I appreciate everything you've done for us." 

"I'd like to hold onto this for a few days, Chuck. I want to share it with the Board then I'll return it to you. You're so lucky to have that kind of love. Few people do." He shook my hand again and I returned to my school. 

Toni phoned my cell a bit after noon, telling me what a difficult day she was having. "Yeah, tell me about it. I watched the DVD last night. I'll tell you about it at dinner." We made arrangements to meet at an Italian place I knew of about fifteen miles from where I lived and worked. 

I was out the door at four on the dot, taking work home with me so I could spend as much time as possible with Lizzie. She was in her room, seated and looking out the window when I walked in with a big bouquet of flowers. Her smile warmed my heart, but then she asked, "Do I know you?" 

"Yes, you do; I'm Chuck—your husband." 

"Oh! Have we been married long?" 

"Yes, we have...almost twenty-five years. We love each other very much." 

"Oh!" 

I talked with her for more than an hour then I asked if I could hold her hand. She let me although she was a bit uncomfortable at first. I told her about our life together, about our two children, and our friends and relatives. Once I was done with that I told her about my work. I took a chance and hugged and kissed her when I had to leave at 6:30. Lizzie's only response was the vacuous smile that told me once again that she was lost. 

Toni was waiting for me when I walked into the restaurant's lobby. The place was crowded, but we were shown to a table almost immediately. We ordered drinks as we checked over the menu. Lizzie and I had been here a few times, but clearly Toni was a regular. Several of the wait staff stopped by to say hello. I welcomed their interruptions. I was nervous—much more so than I had been last night because I knew we'd talk about Lizzie's DVD and what it might mean. Toni looked to be about forty; she was attractive with what I thought of as a good body and she was obviously intelligent. On the other hand she'd probably freak out when she learned what Lizzie wanted me to do. 

I'd had a couple of good long sips of scotch before venturing into Lizzie's message. "You know," I began, "you don't have to..." 

"Stop, Chuck; I want to hear what Lizzie wanted to say to you. She began by telling you how much she loves you, didn't she?" 

Once again, I couldn't help myself—my eyes began to tear. "Yes, her whole message was about her love for me. She told me that she wanted me to take a lover...a surrogate for her to give me what she knows I need but won't get from her. I could never take advantage of her in her current state and she knows it. I'd think of it as being a form of rape even though she's my wife. She asked me to promise that I'd follow through." 

"Did you...promise?" 

"Yeah, I did. Of course, there's no way for her to ever know." 

"But, you'd know, wouldn't you?" 

"Yeah, that's the problem. I think of myself as an honest man. I don't lie or cheat so a promise made is a promise kept even if the promise is only to myself. She told me she doesn't view it as cheating. I gave Carl his disc this morning. We watched it in his office. She asked him to understand and to protect me when people raise concerns. He'll show it to the Board of Education in private. His uncle had Alzheimer's so he's very sympathetic." 

"What about the 'HER' disc?" 

"I was afraid you'd bring that up," I said with a chuckle. She joined me a second later. "I'd have to really know someone before I could even think of asking. Let's face it—the situation would be kind of bizarre." 

"Why? Twenty or thirty years ago I might have agreed with you, but not today. There are all kinds of relationships out there and many of them are based primarily on sex. You're a handsome, intelligent, and obviously caring man. I doubt you'll have a problem." 

"Well, there are plenty of single women in my school, but I remember something my dad once told me-'Don't eat and shit in the same place.' What he meant was work is no place to fool around. There are so many pitfalls and dangers—sexual harassment is not something I need to be associated with. Of course, I've recently met an attractive and intelligent woman, but I have no idea if she'd have any interest." 

"She might, but like you she has to know the person really well before taking such a step. I think we danced around that pretty well, don't you?" 

"God, I can't remember ever being so nervous." 

"You're in good company." Toni laughed as she placed her hand on top of mine. We changed to lighter topics as our first course arrived. I continued on a more serious note once our coffee had been delivered. 

"You haven't said you're not interested." 

"No, I haven't even though I know you're married and will only love your wife until the day either of you dies. I've already said you're an attractive and intelligent man, Chuck and you look to be in good physical condition. I'd much prefer a single man, but I'm willing to consider a relationship with you. I believe you're trustworthy and you're obviously honest, too." 

"I like you, too so...what's the next step?" 

"I had thought to go into the city tomorrow, perhaps to one of the museums, but I think you'd prefer to spend the day with your wife. Why don't I see if I can get some last-minute theater tickets? I insist on going Dutch or, at least, sharing expenses until we know where we're going with this. I'll phone you as soon as I know. I'll check Newsday to see if there's anything on the Island. Is that okay with you?" 

"Perfect; thanks for realizing that I need to spend some time with Lizzie even if she doesn't recognize me. It's just something I have to do." 

"I know, Chuck. I doubt I'd have any interest in you if you weren't so thoughtful or caring. I only hope I find someone who will love me as much as you and Lizzie obviously love each other." 

The rest of the meal was like two old friends meeting for dinner. We explored and tried to get to know each other better. I was pretty sure that she'd be the "HER" Lizzie had described. I thought at the time that Toni felt the same way. All we had to do was get to know each other. 

CHAPTER 3 

And so began the weirdest "courtship" ever known to mankind. Okay, maybe that was a bit of a stretch, but it was certainly something both Toni and I agreed was strange. We never made it to Broadway that Saturday, but we did find our way to dinner and a movie—a chick flick—on Saturday evening. She teased me terribly afterwards—"The things men will do for sex," she said. 

"Yeah, but we don't even know if that's in the cards, do we?" We both laughed. Being with Toni was fun and if anyone could use some fun it was me. The past months had been nothing but one downer after another. 

I spent almost all day with Lizzie talking about school and how David and Beth—our children—missed their weekly phone conversations with their mom. They would visit with me once their school year had ended. Unfortunately, they were both more than six hundred miles away—too far for a weekend visit unless there was a dire emergency. Lizzie and I had often flown to them for a few days, but neither of us wanted to interfere with either their academic or social pursuits any more than necessary. They were young adults who deserved the opportunity to live their own lives. 

I saw Toni several nights a week, even going to her house for dinner and having her come to Lizzie's and mine, as well. We did all the things that dating couples did, but we usually did them far from her community or mine. Probably the highlight occurred on a Friday night in early May when the Yankees hosted the Mets for yet another game in what had become known as the Subway Series. I knew I could almost always get tickets for a Yankee game because of my grandfather who had been a famous Yankee manager and for whom I was named—Charles Dillon. My family had even called me "Casey' as a kid. 

Grandpa had been dead for years, but I had a special phone number that connected to the general manager's office. All I had to do was ask and I'd have tickets right behind the dugout. I always offered to pay and I probably did about fifty percent of the time. I'd attended dozens of games, many on the owner's dime. Toni jumped at the chance to go and when I picked her up I saw why. She wore a Mets uniform shirt with the name and number of her favorite player—Mike Piazza. Of course, I wore my Yankees cap. 

I knew she was a Mets fan—she'd told me several times—so I knew we'd have an interesting experience. However, I was really surprised when she pulled her glove out of a brown paper bag halfway to the train station. Not to be out done I pulled mine from the trunk after parking in the Long Island Railroad's huge Ronkonkoma Station lot. We rode the train in to Penn Station then north on the subway to the Bronx—the A-train to 59th and changing to the D. After the game we settled in for the long ride back to Suffolk County. Ronkonkoma was the last stop on this line. Toni elbowed me several times en route. I couldn't hide my grin: Yanks 5—Mets 2. 

Carl had shown his DVD to the Board of Education. He told me it was received with open mouths and stony silence until he advised them that he planned to support me completely. He related his uncle's history and his aunt's difficulties in coping with the challenges of living with someone who recognized neither his wife nor his children...nor anyone or anything else from his life. "Remember who Chuck is -the kind of man he is-and remember that this is Lizzie's idea." Eventually he did win them over despite their initial reluctance. 

Knowing that I had their acceptance, if not their outright approval, I arranged to bring my "friend" to the school's spring season athletic banquet on a Friday night in late May. We were to sit with Carl and the other administrators along with two members of the Board. "Are you sure this is a good idea," Toni asked me. 

"No, but I don't think we have anything to hide. We're socializing...that's all. I'd love to take Lizzie, but that would be a disaster. You're not planning to hold hands or kiss me, are you?" 

"Not in the catering hall with all those people around...no, but maybe later if you're a really good boy!" I laughed as I drove the car into the parking lot, found a spot near the entrance and helped Toni from the car. We were on our best behavior as we entered, walking directly to our table. We were there for about ten minutes when Carl joined us. 

I had just finished the introductions when my two assistants and the athletic director approached. When the two Board members joined us the table was deadly silent until Toni commented, "I don't bite, you know." We all laughed and the ice was broken. 

Later, after the speeches and more than a hundred handshakes for the student athletes, we were in the car laughing about the tension at our table. "I can understand why you like Carl. He's a very caring person, but I'll bet he can be hell on wheels when he has to be." 

"It goes with the job—just like mine. There are times when I have to be strict and demanding, and not just with the students. Sometimes I need to be tough with the teachers, the parents, even with my own administrators. There are times I have difficulty remembering that I do all this for the benefit of the students." 

"What about when you have to suspend someone?" 

"Especially then; everyone needs to understand limits. Isn't it better to learn that lesson in school rather than out in the world where a major screw-up can destroy your career or your life?" 

"Yes, you're right, Chuck. I suspect you're really excellent at your job. Why don't you come in for a night cap?" 

"You know I don't like to drink and drive." 

"Who says you're going to drink or drive? I think I ought to get a peek at that DVD you've been holding for me. Is it still in your glove box?" She leaned forward to open it, finding the yellow disc envelope clearly marked "HER" right on top of all the junk that glove boxes seem to accumulate. 

I must have had a million questions, and even more doubts, at that instant, but they were silenced when Toni reached over to place her hand gently on the back of my neck. Fifteen minutes later she led me into her living room. I sat on one end of the couch while Toni turned on the TV and loaded the disc into the player. I wasn't at all surprised when Lizzie's face appeared on the screen. Toni sat next to me and took my hand in hers. We sat silently as Lizzie began to speak. 

"We haven't met, but I think I already know a lot about you. You're tall and slender, probably with dark hair. I'd bet that your breasts are suitable for your body, but not big like a D-cup or larger. You're attractive, but what Chuck really likes is your intelligence." Toni glanced at me as I smiled and nodded. By then Lizzie had continued. 

"I'm sure you know by now what has happened to me. I have Alzheimer's and I'm in a home for Alzheimer's patients. I love and trust Chuck so I know it is a nice place where I will be well cared for and safe. 

"You may think that you're doing Chuck a big favor, but you're not. You're doing it for me. You see, I love Chuck so much that I want to see that he is as well cared for as I am. He needs someone to talk with and he needs someone for sex. You will find him a most considerate lover. He always took excellent care of me so I am sure that he will do the same for you. 

"I asked Chuck for two promises in another DVD I made and I'd bet my life that he has agreed. First, I asked him to promise that he would seek you out and follow through on having sex with you. Second, I asked him to bring you to meet me. I doubt that I will recognize Chuck—I haven't when I've been 'somewhere else,' but it will mean a lot, especially to Chuck who will, despite my words, think that he is cheating on me. He's not; this is what I want for him. Will you please help us? I will be forever grateful. 

"Chuck, I know you're there with her so I want to remind you that I love you. I always have and I always will. We believe in God and in Heaven so if we don't get together again here on earth I'm sure we'll be able to spend eternity together. Bye, my love." The DVD ended and Toni moved closer to kiss the tears from my eyes. I was bawling again like a baby. Oh Lizzie, why did this have to happen to us? 

I was on my feet and following Toni down the hall before I even realized what was happening. Once in her bedroom she began to undress me, carefully placing my clothes on the back of a nearby chair. My socks were placed into my loafers when Toni moved up to kiss me. It was our first really passionate kiss and, despite my concerns, I must say it was fantastic. Toni gave me her tongue and after a few seconds I gave her mine. 




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 01



She broke the kiss after a few minutes to whisper, "Your turn now." She turned around to give me access to the tiny buttons on her blouse. Opening them reminded me of the times I'd done this for my wonderful Lizzie. After lifting it over her head I carefully removed her bra. She moved back into me, grabbed my hands, and led them to her soft tender breasts. Automatically, I leaned down to nuzzle her neck. "That feels nice, Chuck, but how about getting me out of this skirt? I'd like to have you in me." Three minutes later, I was. 

Toni somehow knew that this wasn't a night for a lot of foreplay. For one thing, I probably would have come to my senses, dressed, and gone home. I would have spoiled the one great thing in my life. Instead, she pulled down the blanket, laid back—her legs up and open—and pulled me to her. I was hard for the first time in months. My distress over Lizzie's plight had made it difficult for me to even jerk off. I hadn't had a full erection in months until tonight when Toni had worked her magic on me. Neither of us was surprised that I didn't last very long. 

"Don't worry—tomorrow is another day. Pull up the blanket and let's go to sleep. I'm always horny in the morning." My God! I was staying the night. Toni snuggled up next to me, her butt pressing against my cock. She pulled my arm around her, allowing it to lean on her breast as we prepared for our first full night together. I leaned forward to kiss her neck then relaxed on the pillow, sleeping better than I had in months. 

The sun was high in the sky when I finally woke. I looked over for Toni, but she wasn't there. That's when the aroma of fresh coffee and frying bacon hit me. My feet on the floor, I stood slowly and stretched then I walked slowly to the kitchen. Toni was there cooking breakfast and setting the table for two in a short thigh-length robe. "Morning," I croaked. I never was any good until my first cup of coffee. 

Toni turned and giggled as she took in my naked body. "Funny, isn't it? Gravity takes over once you hit forty." 

"I wasn't laughing at your body. I think it's great, besides I saw it last night, didn't I?" 

"Then...?" 

"I was giggling at this." Her hand found my engorged cock. "It looks even nicer in the light." Then, getting serious, she continued, "Don't worry. I'm not looking to marry you. I know you'll only love Lizzie. Why don't we eat, then we'll clean up and go back to bed. After that I think we should shower and go to your place so you can get some casual clothes before going to see Lizzie together. I know you promised her that." She reached up to kiss me before asking, "Scrambled okay?" 

"Yeah...great; have any ketchup?" 

"Of course, look on the refrigerator door. There's a shelf there with a bunch of condiments." 

I opened the fridge and found it immediately. "Want anything while I'm in here?" Toni shook her head as she placed a hot mug of coffee on the table. I sipped carefully while she finished the bacon and eggs. I laughed a few minutes later when she served the meal. She had given me two-thirds of the eggs and more than three-quarters of the bacon. 

Toni laughed at my expression. "You'll need your strength to get through the day. Trust me." I shrugged my shoulders and dug in. Ten minutes later we were done and I helped her clean up the kitchen. Working together we had the job done in no time. We'd made small talk all the way through breakfast and the cleanup, but now we were silent. I couldn't bring myself to utter little endearments like the ones I had always whispered to Lizzie and still did even though she was incapable of responding. 

Toni dropped her robe once we were in the bedroom and turned to me. She was exactly as Lizzie had thought—tall, slender, in good shape, with moderate breasts. Her dark brown hair was cut short and had subtle blonde highlights. Best of all was her obvious intelligence. She had listened to me our first night together with incredible understanding and patience. She hadn't said what she did in the family court system, but I could easily see her as a counselor or psychologist or even a guardian ad litem. 

She came to me, wrapped her fingers in my salt-and-pepper hair, and mashed her lips into mine. I was more receptive this time, opening my mouth as our tongues danced with desire. My hands found their way to her back, her ass, and finally to tease her hardened nipples. We moved together as though dancing, except that I was pushing forward and she was pulling backward toward the messy bed with sheets and blankets askew. 

Slowly, Toni fell back, pulling me down with her—onto her body—as I rolled over to pull her onto me, just as she had told me last night. She moved up and down, rubbing her hot moist slit over my hardness. We both knew it wasn't love, but it certainly qualified as unbridled lust even after our hot session just last night. 

We had continued the kiss throughout our maneuvering across the bed. Now Toni broke it to shift her attention to my cock. Her hand ran gently over my balls before gripping me firmly, lifting her body and sliding slowly down my shaft. She moved back down to kiss me again before moving her hands to my chest to balance and begin a slow determined rhythm on my organ. We moved together for perhaps five minutes—I didn't know, maybe it was ten-before we felt the need to go faster and harder. Our lust had reached the point of no return. I drove into her with incredible force as Toni rocked and rubbed her hard clit into my abdomen with only one thing on her mind—to cum and cum and cum. 

"Yes, Chuck I want to cum badly, but I'm also thinking about you filling me. I love the feeling of semen gushing into me." We had talked about the possibility of Toni becoming "HER" several times. She had told me several times that she'd been on the pill ever since her periods began when she was twelve. "I had such terrible cramps and my period was so irregular that my doctor thought she'd be able to treat me more effectively if we knew when to expect it. Taking the pill changed my life. My doctor was shocked when the cramps virtually disappeared. They only recurred during one time when I was trying to get pregnant with my husband. Then I found that he was spreading his seed around with two other women. He gave me Chlamydia. I became sterile and divorced the bastard, but I still need the pill. I'd get fired in a minute if I missed work every time I got my period." 

Of course, I told her about my sexual history—or, rather, the lack thereof. I was a virgin when I first met Lizzie. I'd had plenty of opportunities, but I was religious and I believed in the sanctity of marriage, beliefs I still maintained. I'd be celibate for the rest of my life if not for my solemn promise to Lizzie just as I'd never fall in love with another woman. I couldn't—not as long as Lizzie was alive. There was room in my heart for only one woman and she was it. 

Lizzie had also been a virgin. We'd talked about sex while we were dating. Her blood on our wedding night confirmed her honesty. We were tyros—raw beginners—and we explored each other together. There were things we loved and things we didn't. I never would have thought of cumming in Lizzie's mouth, but she wanted to try it and—surprise!—she loved it. Truth was—there wasn't much she didn't love so long as it was with me. 

I remembered one time we went dancing and some guy asked if he could cut in. I graciously stepped aside, allowing someone I erroneously thought was a gentleman to hold and touch my wife. Imagine my surprise—and his—when Lizzie kneed him in the balls. I still recall her exact words, "Only my husband touches me there...asshole!" as she stomped off the dance floor toward our table. She stopped me from giving him the beating he deserved, whispering to me that she'd already taken care of it. I never allowed anyone to dance with her again. 

Now I was fucking another woman, but I was doing it not only with Lizzie's permission, but at her insistence. I'd missed sex over the past few months and Lizzie knew it. Well...she knew it during those fleeting moments when she had her consciousness under her control. I still prayed nightly that she'd come back. If there was a God in Heaven, maybe there was a chance. 

I returned my attentions to Toni. Her body revealed the state of her passion. She hadn't cum yet, but the tremors running through her body combined with her rapid irregular breathing told me she was very close. Good thing, because I wasn't far behind her. Moving my hand from her hip to her clit, I pinched and twisted, throwing her over the edge and down into the abyss of a mammoth orgasm. She was shaking from the convulsions when I filled her with my cream. We were still breathing heavily when she collapsed onto my chest. 

"See," she told me a few minutes later, "I knew I'd lie on top of you before, during and after." 

I chuckled before replying. "I do remember before and after, but during...no way!" Leaning down slightly I kissed her hair, something I had often done with Lizzie. 

"You know, Chuck I think it would be a good idea to keep a small bag with some casual clothes in your car for times like this. I have a spare toothbrush and some razors and deodorant you can use. I don't think it's a good idea to stay over during the week, but Friday and Saturday nights... C'mon, let's get into the shower so we can go to your place for some clothes. I want to meet Lizzie. I think it's time." 

We showered and I shaved using a razor Toni usually used for her legs while she did her face then we made the bed together and I dressed. We were out the door for the twenty minute drive to our—Lizzie's and my—house. Toni sat in the living room wearing a simple teal top and tight black Capri's. I dressed in a golf shirt and khakis. We were back on the road twenty minutes later. 

I was glad the home was nearby. Every minute spent driving was one less I could spend with my wife. Our house was only ten minutes from the school where I worked and the Alzheimer's home was half way between. I parked in the visitors' lot just after 11:00 that splendid Saturday May morning. I signed us in and led Toni down the hall to Lizzie's room. 

She was seated again by the window, basking in the sun's rays. Her face showed the peace she was experiencing; mine once again showed the stress I had felt over the past months. "Morning, Lizzie," I called out. 

"Oh, hello...do I know you?" 

"Sure," I replied, trying to sound upbeat. "Remember from yesterday afternoon?" I knew she wouldn't, but I'd try every day to jog her memory. I'd asked Dr. Thompson months ago and he had seen no downside to it. I continued a few seconds later, "I'm Chuck, Lizzie...your husband. Do you remember what I told you about us yesterday afternoon?" 

"Um...no, sorry." 

I walked over and kissed her cheek. "You don't have to apologize, honey. I brought someone to visit you. This is Toni. She's a good friend." 

"Oh...hello; have we met before?" 

"No. Lizzie, we haven't, but Chuck has told me all about you and I saw you on the DVD you made. You asked me for help and I'm giving it to you. I started last night and I'll continue as long as necessary. I'll do everything I can to help you...and Chuck, too. It's a pleasure to meet you at last." Toni held out her hand and Lizzie shook it, but—once again—it was clear she had no understanding of what she was doing. 

I had received permission to take Lizzie outside when I visited yesterday afternoon. "C'mon, Lizzie—let's go for a walk before lunch. Let me get your jacket for you. It's a bit breezy outside." Toni helped her up as I pulled the jacket up her arms. Holding her hand I led her outside to the nurses' station to let them know where we were going and for how long. 

There was a large lawn with several paths behind the home. We walked slowly down the hill toward the pond at the bottom, Toni with a bag of stale bread in her hand. We sat on a bench—Lizzie, me in the middle, and Toni. I opened the bag, handing a slice to Lizzie and then to Toni. Lizzie looked at me, questioning with her eyes, until I broke off a small piece and tossed it into the pond. The ducks flocked to us in an instant. It was the first time I'd heard Lizzie laugh in months. I would have cried had Toni not squeezed my arm and kissed my cheek. We spent more than an hour there laughing until it was time for lunch. I helped Lizzie up and, as I did, she said, "Thank you; I had a wonderful time." 

I couldn't help myself. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Lizzie—being with you today has been so special for me." 

"For me, too, Lizzie," Toni added. "You two are so lucky to have each other." We walked back up the gentle slope, my arm around Lizzie's waist and holding Toni's hand on the other side. Lunch was grilled cheese sandwiches and iced tea with gingerbread and whipped cream for dessert. I had to pay for Toni and me, but I didn't mind. I treasured every second I spent with Lizzie. Toni and I left around five to my house where we decided to bring in a pizza. 

We were ready for sex once we cleaned up. "Toni," I began hesitantly, "please...I don't want to offend you, but I can't take you to our bed—Lizzie's and mine. I'm sorry, but I just can't." 

"I don't want you to, Chuck. Some things are and should be sacred. Why don't we go back to my place? Bring some clothes. Do you want to go to church tomorrow? You never did tell me what religion you are." 

"Lizzie and I are both Methodists. What are you?" 

"Antonia Maria Di Nardi? Take a guess." 

"Catholic; how stupid of me not to realize. Would you like me to accompany you? I've been to Catholic Mass several times." 

"That would be wonderful. Thank you." I grabbed a sports coat and shirt and slacks along with a golf shirt and shorts with my usual toiletries. Fifteen minutes later we were back in the car on the way to Toni's place in a neighboring town. 

She held the door for me twenty-five minutes later. We headed straight to the bedroom where Toni hung my good clothes in the closet before stripping me and leading me to the shower. We washed each other and kissed, but we both knew that no one but Lizzie would occupy my heart. Naked and still dripping slightly she led me to the bed. 

"I had such a good time with you and Lizzie today, Chuck. Your love for her is so obvious. I feel like crying when I think of what you're going through." 

"I can't tell you how many times I've cried over the past eighteen months. Before that I only cried at the occasional funeral." 

"Would you mind if we skipped sex tonight? I'd like to snuggle up against you, okay? I'll take care of you tomorrow...either before or after Mass. Incidentally, I don't think of this as a sin. A priest might disagree, but I think of it as an act of God. I never go to a bar after work, but something made me stop at Fred's that night. I'd never been there before; it's not even on my way home. I was three blocks off so I have no explanation other than God wanted me there. Does that sound strange, Chuck?" 

"Strange? Yeah, it does, but this whole thing has been strange right from the beginning. Why Lizzie? She rarely drinks and never that much. She never smoked or did drugs. It was all I could do to get her to take aspirin or Tylenol. She lived a healthy lifestyle so...why? What on earth did she ever do to deserve this?" 

"I don't have any answers, Chuck. Why don't we go to sleep so we'll wake up early enough to enjoy each other?" She moved back so her butt was pressed against my cock then pulled my hand to her breast. I was more at peace than I'd been in a very long time. I prayed for Lizzie that night just as I had every other night since this nightmare had begun. 

True to her word, Toni woke early then woke me up with a start by licking me to hardness then taking me completely into her mouth. It was several seconds before I realized where I was and what was happening to me. Once she knew I was fully awake Toni rose to straddle my body. I watched in amazement as she slid slowly down my pole. Up and down Toni moved, stretching her pussy and increasing her pleasure. As much as she seemed to enjoy it only moments later she began rocking, driving her clit into my abdomen. I thrust into her with every rock, lifting her slender body with mine and driving deeply into her tunnel. 

We continued for what seemed to be seconds, but was really almost ten minutes before I felt the rumbling in my core and the tiny tremors in hers. It happened in an instant. We came together, something so rare even among experienced lovers. Toni collapsed onto my chest, sexual sweat pooling between our bodies. She lay there for almost ten minutes before lifting her head and smiling. Toni kissed me then and rose, pulling me again to the shower. 

We were intentionally early for church so Toni could go to confession-something I had heard was waning in importance among Catholics. Several friends had told me that they never went yet received communion virtually every week. I slid down the pew when Toni returned, kneeled, and prayed what I assumed was her penance. I enjoyed the service, hugging Toni and shaking the hands of others nearby, even singing a few hymns, but sitting when others knelt. Methodists aren't big on kneeling. 

I took Toni out for brunch then I dropped her at home and went to spend the rest of the day with Lizzie. I would have brought her with me, but Toni had explained that she had some work that couldn't wait. The last thing I had told her as we parted was that I expected David and Beth—our two children—to arrive home the following day. I told her I wasn't sure what I'd say to them until she advised, "I find that honesty usually works best. Good luck, Chuck. Please call me after dinner." She hugged and kissed me good-bye as I entered my car for the drive to the home.



I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 02



CHAPTER 4

I knew Toni was right. I'd even agreed with her, but that didn't make explaining to my two devoted kids any easier. They had been home a few hours—long enough to unload David's van—when I walked in around 4:30. Of course, they asked about Lizzie, their mom, first. I tried to fill them in on everything, but what I had to say wasn't nearly enough. After spending almost an hour filling in as many blanks as humanly possible I decided I had to get to the DVD's.

"There's something I have to show you. Lizzie made it for me, but there's no way for me to explain what's happened without your seeing it." I turned on the TV and loaded the disc before sitting between my two kids. They sat silently as they watched their mom on the screen. The questions began even before I had a chance to turn the TV off.

"Was Mom lucid when she did that? I can't believe it."

"You didn't do anything, did you?"

The questions came so fast I couldn't answer so I waited for them to finish. "Yes, your mom was lucid and I'm sure she was sincere in what she said. You'll see what she's like when we visit her tonight. She can't turn the lights on or off without help. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. Lizzie knew what she was saying and doing."

"But...Dad..."

"You heard her ask me to promise her. I did promise and I have followed through." I continued once they had calmed down. "I didn't look for someone. She actually found me. I was drowning my sorrow in scotch at Fred's when she sat next to me. Next thing I knew she had me in a booth and I was spilling my guts to her. She listened carefully and patiently. She didn't jump into bed with me and I didn't jump in with her either. We saw each other for over a month before we slept together. You know I would never cheat on your mom. She asked me to do this. That's the only reason I am."

"Does this bitch even have a job? How do we know she isn't trying to push Mom out of the picture?"

"I thought you knew me better. She has a job in the family court system. She hasn't told me what, but she's very intelligent. She knows I'll only love your mother. I'll never love her, but I need companionship and—yes—I do need sex, even at my advanced age. She met your mom on Saturday afternoon and she was very supportive. You'll have a chance to meet her later in the week."

"I don't want to meet this fucking cunt," David screamed. Truthfully, I could have smacked him across the face, but I restrained myself.

I was about to speak when my cell rang. Looking at the clock I couldn't believe how late it was. Pulling it out of my jacket I realized immediately that it was Toni. "Hi."

("Oh...that bad, huh?")

"You might say that.

("Did you eat?)

"No...never got to it. We talked about Lizzie and then I showed the video."

("I guess it didn't go over well.)

"No."

("Why don't I get some pizza and come over? What do they like and where do you get it from?"

Do you really think this is a good idea?"

("I thought that was my line. That worked out okay, didn't it?")

"Yeah...okay—two pies...sausage and everything, both with extra cheese—Fargiano's or Angela's. Know where they are?"

("Yes...been to Fargiano's plenty of times; give me about 45 minutes, okay?")

"Thanks...see you then." I ended the call then turned to speak to both kids—David first. "I'm sure you've already guessed that was Toni, the woman who's helping me. She'll be here in about 45 minutes and she's bringing pizza. If she doesn't we'll go hungry tonight."

"Well, I'm not sticking around to meet this whore." This time I did strike David, slapping him in the face.

"You know that I'd never strike you under normal conditions, but your behavior is worse than deplorable. You will stay and you will be cordial. You don't have to like her, but you will be polite. Understand?"

"Okay, Dad, but I'm only doing this for Mom." We sat in silence for the next half hour. I was glad that Toni was early. I was about to open the door, but Beth beat me to it.

"Hi...you must be Toni."

"Yes, thank you, Beth, and this must be David. Why don't we eat and then we can talk, but not too long or we won't be able to visit your mom. That's the most important thing." She carried the pies to the kitchen, placing them on the table. Beth got four glasses, some ice, and poured four Pepsi's while I got paper plates, napkins, some forks and knives.

We ate in relative silence until Beth decided to break the ice. "I hope you realize that this has come as quite a shock to us."

Toni gently placed her hand on Beth's as she replied, "I'd be astonished if you felt otherwise. I know how I'd feel if I was in your shoes. I saw the DVD Lizzie made for your dad and then I saw the one she made for me. I had trouble believing that anyone could love another person as much as your mom loves your dad. I know he loves her just as much. It's rare I see that in my courtroom."

"Your courtroom?" Rather than reply, Toni dug into her purse, retrieving a photo ID in a black leather case and handing it to Beth. Beth read it then handed it to David. I saw it in passing. "You're a judge?"

"Yes, Beth...I'm a Family Court judge. I don't spread it around much because about ninety percent of what I do involves juvenile abuse or neglect or juvenile crime. I hope you understand that's all confidential. Some people try to pry information out of me once they've learned I'm a judge so I don't advertise. I doubt Chuck would do that; he's handled confidential information probably thousands of times."

"I guess you're not some skank after Dad's money after all."

"No, David—I have plenty of money and I'm not after your dad either. I work in the County Courthouse in Hauppauge and I live in Brightwaters. I'm lucky in that regard that I drive against traffic both ways. I always drive west on Vet's Highway to Northern Parkway and south on Sagtikos to Sunrise Highway. I never go down to Montauk Highway. It's much too long that way. 

"Also, I never go into a bar for a drink after work...never! On the night I met your dad I did drive past Sunrise to Montauk and I did stop at Fred's, walking into the bar where I saw the most forlorn person I've ever seen. I've seen plenty of misery in court, but your dad was an all-time low, even for me. I led him to a table and encouraged him to tell his story. That was the day he put your mom into the home. Speaking of which, I think we should get going." She and I cleaned up while the kids washed up and got ready. Ten minutes later we were in the car where Toni continued to tell our story. 

I remained quiet, allowing Toni to tell everything. And that's exactly what she did—she admitted that we had been intimate, but we had agreed never to use Lizzie's and my bedroom. I felt she had pretty much won them over by the time she pulled into the home's parking lot. She held my left elbow as I held Beth's hand with my right. I signed us in and a minute later we were in Lizzie's room. I had warned them to be upbeat and try to hold off on any crying until we had gone.

"Hi, Lizzie—I brought our kids to see you. You remember David and Beth. You saw Toni and me yesterday, remember?"

"Uh...who are you, again?"

"I'm Chuck, your husband."

"Oh...okay." I felt Beth gasp so I went to grip her tightly, but Toni had beaten me to it. I had each of the kids hug and kiss their mom then tell her all about their experiences in college. They were both at Duke—David a junior and Beth a freshman this past year. I was pleased to learn that they had both done very well—David with a 3.6 GPA out of four and Beth a 3.4. I hardly found that surprising. They were both intelligent and hard workers with maturity that belied their youth.

We stayed for more than an hour before we could see Lizzie tiring. Beth helped her in the bathroom and we all tucked her into bed, Beth and David telling her they'd see her tomorrow morning. We left after giving hugs and kisses to my wonderful wife.

Toni was just about to open her car door when David stopped her. He had tears in his eyes when he spoke. "I said some very unkind things about you earlier...when I first heard about you and dad. I want to apologize. I jumped to some unfair conclusions. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, David. I'm sure I would have reacted the same way. I love your dad, but I'm not in love with him. I love him for the kind of person he is and for his dedication to your mom, but I hope you understand that I have no desire to steal him from her. I've been praying every day that she'll recover."

David moved forward to hug her, whispering just loud enough for all of us to hear, "I believe you, Toni." He leaned down to kiss her cheek then opened the door, holding it until she was safely seated. We were back home five minutes later. I was about to go into the house until Beth told me, "Why don't you stay out here for a while so you can kiss Toni good-night?"

"Yeah, Dad," David chimed in, "Take your time." They both hugged Toni and walked in, leaving us alone in the dark.

"I must say—I am shocked by their reactions—not their initial responses, but you won them over so easily."

"We still have a long way to go. Our relationship isn't important. They need to see how much you love Lizzie, especially because she can't show how much she loves you. C'mon, kiss me and let me go. Why don't you call me when you leave for the home tomorrow and I'll join you there? Oh, I almost forgot; here's some bread. Why not give it to Beth and have them take Lizzie to feed the ducks again."

"You're a very special person; you know that? Thank you for everything." I pulled her into my arms as we kissed. It was long and sweet, but lacked the emotion our kisses over the weekend had shown. I stood silently in the dark as her taillights faded into the distance. Only then did I enter the house and lock the door. David and Beth were waiting for me in the living room.

CHAPTER 5

The rest of the week was predictable—I went to work while Beth and David visited their beloved mom. Most days they ate in the home with Lizzie before returning home to help with dinner. We ate together, usually something light like burgers or chicken cutlets or steak with baked potato and salad before rushing to visit Lizzie. Toni joined us every night. They came to know her almost as well as I did...almost, but not quite.

I wasn't sure how to tell them that I planned to spend the night at Toni's, but I needn't have worried. We were in Lizzie's room when Toni and Beth excused themselves to use the ladies' room. I was a bit surprised as we had all used the toilet before leaving home. I should have known that something was up by the grin on Beth's face when they returned.

I had just kissed Toni good-night in the parking lot and slid into the driver's seat of my Toyota Camry when Beth ambushed me. "Tomorrow night David and I think we should come in his car. Then you can go straight back with Toni."

"Don't argue, Dad. We know how often you and Mom used to make love. We're not deaf, you know. You tend to make a lot of noise. We understand now that it's just sex and we know that everyone needs sex, even old geezers like you—only kidding, Dad. We've seen how much stress visiting Mom can cause. If you don't do something about it you're going to blow."

"Really, Dad," Beth interrupted, "we're okay with it...honest. Don't worry about us. We'll be fine. Maybe we can all go out for dinner on Sunday night. Is it possible we could take Mom?"

"I'll speak with the director tomorrow or Saturday. I'll have to thank Toni for your little chat earlier tonight, too. Now, what say we head on home? I do have to work tomorrow, you know. June—what a month—I could use another three sets of hands. Okay, you have a deal. Thanks." Ten minutes later I was closing the garage door and we walked into the house. Five minutes later I was in the shower en route to bed. I was sleeping better now, but not much. I missed feeling Lizzie in bed next to me just as I missed her loving smile. Damn this fucking disease!

The following day was a blur beginning as soon as I walked into the high school. Several parents wanted to see me, complaining that a test had been given without warning or review. I always promised a full and impartial inquiry, but never that the test results would be changed. I spent the next hour interviewing other kids in the class. I didn't even bother the teacher until she had a free period then I told her just so she'd know what was being said. She was young and relatively inexperienced, but with tremendous potential. "Do I need a union rep for this, Dr. Spangler?"

"No...the mere fact that someone complains doesn't mean you did anything wrong. I knew when these parents complained that they were way off base. Part of it comes from knowing you and part comes from knowing them. They like to complain...like I have nothing else to do. They'll probably call Dr. Parker to complain about me after I give them the bad news—their kids just did poorly on the test. What they won't know until they call him is that I already did.

"I just want you to know that they complained and that I've found absolutely nothing wrong in what you did. More importantly, the students I spoke to are extremely supportive of you. That tells me a lot even though I wasn't at all surprised. Thanks for coming in. I'm sure you have other things to do."

"Thanks for being so supportive. I've learned a lot from you this year. Thank you for everything." She left and I finally got into the huge pile of work on my desk. First was the draft of the final exam schedule. I had to deal with two separate schedules—one for school level exams and a second for the state "Regents" exams. 

That was actually easier than in past years since some idiots in the state education department decided that all students in the key courses would take the exams. They'd been watered down so much to enable the lesser capable students to pass; the whole thing was just a joke. I prepared a cover memo that I added to the eleven-page document and put it into my out box for duplication. The teachers would check for any scheduling problems and I would have the final document to them a week in advance of the testing period.

Next I had to sign the diplomas for graduation. I had always believed that the students deserved a personal signature and I knew that Carl agreed with me. He always signed them individually, too. The problem here was that I had more than four hundred seniors and I couldn't do all of them in one session. My signature would be a mess before I even reached the hundredth. Because of that I always did no more than thirty at a time taking the greatest care possible.

All told I managed to get 120 diplomas signed that morning, mixing other work between signings. I was deep into paperwork when my cell rang. I knew it would be Toni. "Hi, how's your morning been?"

(Dreadful...just like every other morning. How about yours?)

"It would have been better if some parents hadn't come in with some baseless complaint. I had to spend an hour just wasting time. Oh, I guess it's no surprise that I'll be staying over the weekend...assuming I have your okay."

(You probably won't believe me, but Beth actually brought it up. I'm sure she can see the stress you're under.)

"Yeah, you're really good at dealing with that. Did she say anything about going out to dinner together Sunday night? I have to call the director to see if Lizzie can join us."

(Oh, I hope she can. Between Beth and me I'm sure we could handle anything in the bathroom plus I think it will help her to be with those who love her.)

"I hope you're right. I'm planning to leave early this afternoon, if possible."

(Oh...looking for some afternoon delight? I think I could handle it with my schedule.)

"I think we'll get plenty of that tonight and tomorrow morning. No, I have to visit the district attorney about a child abuse case I'm involved with. I think it's going to hearing next week. I won't get you as the judge will I?"

(I'll have to check with the head judge, but I doubt it. I'll probably have to recuse myself because we know each other. Don't tell me anything about the case. There's a chance I could wind up with it.)

"Okay, shall we get together for dinner tonight?"

(What about the kids? I think you need to spend more time with them. They may not show it, but they're finding everything extremely traumatic. Let them have you this afternoon. I'll have you tonight—okay, Chuck?)

"I guess so, but I think we might have to work out some mid-week activity if you're willing."

(Let's see what we can work out tonight. I need to get back to work. Bye, Chuck; I'm getting to enjoy these little talks of ours.)

"Me, too...I'd better get back to it, too. See you tonight." We ended the call and I went back to signing diplomas and clearing paper from my desk. My secretary, Ruth, brought in the day's memos for my signature and I finally remembered to phone the home's director. We spoke for about fifteen minutes until-against his best judgment-he agreed to allow Lizzie to accompany us to dinner Sunday evening. He did make several suggestions—go early, shelter her from crowds and confusion, seat her near a window, and keep her between her loved ones. I thanked him for his advice. Now all I had to do was find a suitable restaurant.

I left school at 3:15 for my 4:00 appointment with the assistant district attorney. My mind often wanders while driving and today was no exception. There are good days and bad as a principal. It's great to learn that one of your students has been accepted at the U.S. Naval Academy or that three of them have become National Merit Scholarship winners. Then there are the bad like the one in my mind today.

It had all begun in early March. I always find the time to greet the students when they enter the building in the morning. I probably know more than half of my 1700 students by name. On this day I noticed Jackie McMullen with a horrific bruise on her face. "Jackie, what happened? Did you get that at home?"

She hemmed and hawed-face down and red with embarrassment. I've worked with too many teenagers not to recognize the signs of possible abuse. I took her arm and walked her to the nurse's office. Once there I cleared the other students out and brought Jackie in to see Doris Ridley, R.N., our school nurse. Doris has been around like forever and she's seen it all. I just showed her the bruise. She led Jackie into a curtained area with a bed and lamp. I excused myself and returned to my office just up the hall. I wasn't there more than two minutes when Doris rushed in, pulling me back to her office.

"You have to see this, Chuck. It's horrible and poor Jackie is terrified." She pulled the curtain aside and I was shocked to see Jackie sitting on the bed clad only in her bra and panties.

I turned away instantly. "Excuse me, Jackie; I didn't realize you were undressed."

"It's okay, Dr. S—I trust you and Mrs. Ridley says you should see what happened." I returned reluctantly behind the curtain. Jackie rose and, as she did, I could see roughly a dozen round red marks on her chest, breasts, and stomach.

"Are those...burns...cigarette burns?" She turned around to show me more on her back and thighs.

"Yeah, my mom did this when I got home from school yesterday."

"Why? What could you possibly have done to deserve anything like this?"

"I didn't really do anything. She found a note in my jeans from a boy—Bobby Turner—saying how much he loves me. He gave it to me after math Monday. I was in a hurry to get to my locker and the bus so I didn't even read it. She found it in the laundry and called me a slut and a whore. I'm not, Dr. S. I've never even been out on a real date and I'm still a virgin. I don't understand. I'm afraid to go home this afternoon."

"There's no reason to be concerned. You're not going home. I have to report this to Children's Protective Services. I'm required by law. I'll arrange for you to spend the day with Miss Moffet, the social worker. Don't worry about your classes. I'll cover you with the teachers. Now, get dressed—I'll be back for you in a minute or so." Thirty seconds later I walked into the social worker's office, not surprised to find two students speaking with Suzanne.




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 02



"Sorry, but I need to interrupt. I have a bit of an emergency." The kids left and I closed the door to speak in confidence. Basically, I wanted her to keep Jackie under wraps to ensure her safety and the confidentiality of her situation. I'd be on the phone to CPS as soon as I was sure she was safe. Five times over the past three years I'd had to call in CPS for cases of suspected child abuse—just like this or even worse. In three of those cases parents had come to school to get their children. In each case I had denied them access, once despite being threatened with a pistol. That SOB is still in prison and will be for another five years, at least.

The principle of in loco parentis—in the place of the parent- applies here. I was mandated by state law to take all actions expected of a reasonable parent especially when the actual parent was irresponsible and presented a potential danger to the student. I knew Mrs. McMullen was sometimes hyper and irrational. Twice this year I'd had to remove her from the school premises under threat of calling the police. I half expected her to show up before noon, a prophecy that would prove, unfortunately, to be true.

My first phone call went to CPS where I described the wounds and gave Jackie's name, age, and address. Then I phoned the superintendent to let Carl know what was happening. Knowing that Jackie was safe I was able to attack some of my work. Ruth appeared in my doorway less than an hour later to tell me that Mrs. McMullen was here for Jackie. It was SHOWTIME—the time when there's no doubt that I earn and deserve my high salary!

Once I had her in my office I informed her that I wouldn't release her daughter to her under any circumstances. I commented on the injuries Jackie had received and my concerns about the cause. Not surprisingly, she went berserk—screaming, yelling, and cussing me out with every breath. I listened quietly for about a minute before telling her to get out or I was calling the police to have her arrested for trespassing and threatening behavior. In fact, Ruth had already called.

Bottom line—mom was arrested once a female officer had examined and questioned Jackie, Jackie went to foster care, and now I was reliving the whole mess all over again. I met with the assistant district attorney, a man I knew from other unfortunate cases. We reviewed my testimony and the family court procedures. This hearing would determine where and with whom Jackie would live. She'd done well with the foster parents—good people I'd dealt with before. I knew she wanted to stay there with them. 

The Family Court rooms are small with not more than a single row of seats that is often empty due to the confidential nature of the cases, especially when dealing with underage kids. The last thing I needed was a court case in June, the busiest month of the year, but I was stuck. When he gave me the name of the judge I almost laughed. "I doubt the case will go on. I know the judge very well. We have a personal relationship. I'll mention it to her when I see her later tonight."

I was home by 5:30, pleased to see that Beth and David had started a light meal of what we called "California cheeseburgers." On each toasted roll would go—mayo, lettuce, a thick slice of tomato, one of my one-third pound cheeseburgers, a slice of raw onion, a slice of green pepper, ketchup, and the top of the roll. Both kids laughed like crazy when I removed the onion. "Smart move, Dad," Beth kidded me. Even David patted me on the back.

We were out the door at 6:30 on the dot, meeting Toni at the home. Lizzie was peaceful, but as confused as usual when we hugged and kissed her, however she did allow Beth and David to hold her hands while we talked. She began to tire around 9:30 so Beth and Toni helped her in the bathroom and we tucked her into bed, kissing her and reminding her for at least the fiftieth time tonight how much we loved her.

Once out in the parking lot we headed for our separate cars, but Toni removed a plastic bag from hers, handing two small wrapped boxes to Beth and David. I asked her about them once we were in her house. "Condoms, Chuck—you're not the only one who has to deal with stress. Beth has told me several times how much it's affecting her...David, too."

"It's sometimes hard for me to remember that my little girl is an adult...with adult needs. I'm glad I have you to help me with it." 

I leaned down to kiss her. She pressed her moist plump lips into mine as her tongue wended its way into my mouth. We held it for several minutes until our faces were covered in saliva. "Nice, but sloppy; c'mon, Chuck-I've needed you all week." She took my hand and led me to the bedroom. Once there I dropped my bag of clothes and toiletries to the floor and pulled her to me once again. This time our kiss was more patient...lingering as I pulled my feet from my loafers and dropped my slacks and boxers.

Toni, of course, missed nothing of this—her hand finding and gripping my cock quickly as she slowly stroked me, savoring the hardness already evident and anticipating the fucking that was to come. Even as we kissed I began to release her Capri's from her waist. She was stepping out of them before they were all the way to the floor. Breaking the kiss we moved toward full nakedness in a flash as we literally tore the shirt and blouse from our respective bodies.

There'd be no pre-sex shower this evening. No—our need was too great. Toni swept the blankets and throw pillows to the floor, replacing them on the bed with our writhing bodies. She rolled me over to my back as she rose to straddle my hips and lead me into her hot tight tunnel. The sensation of sliding into her tightness was incredible. After a week of nothing but stress piled on stress it was heavenly—exactly what Lizzie had wanted for me and exactly what I had needed. Damn, but my wife was a genius!

We worked together, but not for too long. Toni rammed her hard clit into me with an urgency I'd rarely experienced and my balls were churning almost immediately. I held back as long as I could; thankfully, it was just long enough. She came just as my fifth thick rope of semen erupted forcefully into her womb. We lay in total contentment, emotionally drained and covered with sweat while we recovered. Finally, after more than ten minutes she managed to push herself up and off me. Once vertical she extended her hand and pulled me up to a much-needed shower. My abdomen was covered in her goo or mine or both.

Standing under the hot spray was relaxing. Having Toni wash my body wasn't. We tried to wash each other, but all we accomplished was to get each other hot again. Ten minutes later we were back in bed, our hair still dripping. This time we were much more patient with each other. We spooned with Toni in front of me, her leg back over my body and her hot cunt fully accessible to me. I pushed forward, entering her easily now that she was well lubricated from our earlier coupling.

I especially enjoyed this position. She was fully open to me and her clit was within easy reach as were her breasts and nipples. A mere turn of her head enabled us to kiss passionately while I pounded her hot cunt without mercy. It was exactly what both of us needed. My left hand worried both her nipples as my right rubbed and pinched her clit.

I tried to bring her along slowly, gauging her progress with mine. I'm no kid—I can't go three or four times a night like I did when I was in my twenties, but tonight I was a needy horndog with nothing so appealing as yet another mind-blowing orgasm. My cock was in overdrive as I pushed again and again into Toni's core. One of the things I liked about this was that colliding with her cervix was unlikely. Lizzie had told me several times how painful that could be. I had never worried about Lizzie; we were in love with each other. Toni and I had acknowledged that we weren't so I had to be especially careful. From behind in this position I knew I could never hurt her. Her firm ass cheeks intercepted me before I could get too deep.

I had hammered her cunt for more than five minutes when I felt a tiny rumble in my core. Fortunately, my body could detect tiny contractions in the muscles of her back and hips. I moved faster—if possible—and harder, bringing her right to the edge before twisting the living shit out of her clit. Toni experienced a massive spasm that practically ripped her from my grasp. She was still shaking when I finally came, flooding her pussy. We lay together for what seemed an hour gasping for breath until we had fully recovered. By then Toni, I, and the bed were all a gooey mess.

"I'll say one thing, Chuck—Lizzie was right. You are an incredible lover. I've never done it in that position before, but...WOW! It was fantastic!"

"I'm glad, because I don't think I have anything left. I don't think I'd even make it to the shower."

"Good...that means we can stay like this all night." Toni pulled up the blanket from the floor, pushed her tight ass into me, and placed my hand under her breast. She turned around, kissed me quickly and settled in. We were both asleep in minutes.


CHAPTER 6

Toni and I made love another three times that weekend, visiting Lizzie with David and Beth during the day until I packed up my clothes Sunday morning to accompany her to Church. Then we were off to the home to collect Lizzie en route to a restaurant we all loved on the Great South Bay in Patchogue. I had arranged for us to have an early dinner with 4:30 seating outdoors on their veranda. Lizzie sat between Beth and David facing the water, their backs to the afternoon sun while Toni and I faced them. I ordered for Lizzie, choosing dishes I knew she loved. It was a great success. We all had a fantastic time, especially my wonderful wife.

I lingered for a few minutes in the parking lot with Toni once we were ready to leave. "So, I guess I'll see you Thursday morning."

"You know very well you'll see me tomorrow and every other day this week, too. I think I might be interested Tuesday or Wednesday night, too even though I'm going to have trouble walking tomorrow. You wore my poor pussy out. I am glad, though, that the hearing is only to determine custody. I should be able to hear it. I'll let you know tomorrow, okay?"

"Thanks for everything, Toni. I don't know how I'd get through this without you."

She reached up to kiss me. It was brief and lacking the passion that our earlier kisses in her bedroom held. "I think we both have to thank Lizzie, don't we?" I nodded, kissed her again then held the car door for her, walking to mine only when she had driven away.

The following week at work was as hectic as I'd imagined. The time flew by as it always does when one is really, really busy. I found that I looked forward to Toni's calls even more than I had in the past. I found the time to speak briefly with Jackie McMullen on Wednesday afternoon. She was eager for the hearing to occur. 

Once her mother had been arrested I had phoned a local couple I knew had taken in foster kids in the past. Unlike most, they did it because they loved kids. George Henderson was a mechanic at a nearby Honda dealership. His wife Marcia had worked as a teacher's aide until a hip injury made the work physically impossible. George and Marcia loved kids, but they weren't able to have their own. Instead, they tried to help youngsters in trouble. To my knowledge they'd always been successful.

Marcia came to school not ten minutes after my call, taking Jackie under her wing immediately. The CPS worker knew the Henderson's well from prior cases. She filed paperwork making them Jackie's temporary guardians. Jackie had found everything in the Henderson household that had been missing in her own. They gave her the nurturing and love that any good parents give their children. She had rules, but they were reasonable for a person her age. She was required to study several hours a day so her grades improved almost immediately following the chaos that was the norm in her mother's "home."

More than anything she wanted to stay with the Henderson's. I encouraged her, but withheld my involvement with the presiding judge. I assured her that I would be there to support her tomorrow morning. She was there before me, freshly showered and hair neatly combed, in an attractive blouse and skirt. Both George and Marcia were with her, holding her hands in support. I shook hands with George and kissed Marcia's cheek. I squeezed Jackie's shoulder then sat a bit further down the row.

We were there only a few minutes when Toni swept into the room, her robes flowing. She looked at me and smiled then the bailiff read the introductory information of the case and the assistant district attorney called me to the witness stand. I was asked about the injuries that Jackie had incurred and about her work in school. I was a bit surprised when Toni interrupted to ask a question.

"Have you had prior experience with Mr. and Mrs. Henderson as foster parents?"

"Yes," I replied, remembering to call her "Your Honor." "They are wonderful people in my experience. I wish I had more parents like them. They just love children and they're very effective as parents."

"Hmmmm," was Toni's response. Then she called Jackie before her and led her alone into her chambers. They were gone almost ten minutes before returning.

She took her seat at the bench and both she and Jackie were smiling when she asked, "How do you feel about staying with the Henderson's, Jackie?"

"I love living with them. I never knew my father and my mother always felt I was in the way. Mr. and Mrs. Henderson treat me like I'm their daughter. I really love them...a lot."

Calling on the Henderson's she asked about their relationship. "Jackie is like the daughter we never had. She makes mistakes—we all do, but we try to help her learn from them."

"I'm wondering if the three of you wouldn't like something more permanent than legal guardianship. Would you consider adopting Jackie?" The looks on their faces was incredible. This was beyond their wildest dream and for Jackie it was a dream come true. Her mother wasn't getting out of prison for ages. Besides the assault and sexual assault charges the detectives found a significant quantity of meth in her dresser. With the drugs was a notebook listing customers and sales going back more than two years. Even with a plea bargain Mrs. McMullen was going away for more than twenty years, long enough for Jackie to completely forget her.

It must be fun to be a judge, I thought—at least it was fun today. Toni gave the required orders to the CPS representatives and the adoption process was underway. I had just walked into the hallway when Jackie leaped into my arms to hug me. I congratulated her and her "new" parents and was just about to leave when the bailiff tugged on my arm before leading me down the hall to an unmarked door. I knocked and was told to enter.

Toni was there, of course, and she crossed the office quickly to hug me. "Thank God I have the occasional case like this. It's the only decent thing I've done all week."

"Why don't I reward you with dinner tonight? Like Chinese? There's a pretty good place in Oakdale. We can meet there and then go to visit Lizzie, and yes, the kids will join us."

"Sounds good. I'm not complaining—I'm getting more and much better sex than I've had in years, but I wish there was something more we could do for her." That made me think-dinner had gone so well. What else could we try, especially now that summer was only a few weeks away? We made arrangements to meet, I kissed Toni chastely, and returned to work.

I'd been a high school principal for ten years and principal of this school for five so the end of the school year ran smoothly in spite of the stress and pressure. I anticipated no surprises so, of course, I was hit by a bombshell on the last day of classes.

This was always a good time for "administrative presence" in the hallways so I was there between third and fourth periods when Jimmy Williams strode by. Jimmy wasn't a bad kid, but he always seemed to get caught in some stupid prank or other idiocy. "Hi, Dr. S.—don't worry, we're still gonna pray for your wife over the summer."

"Whoa! What did you say, Jimmy?"

"You know...we'll all keep praying for your wife just like we've been doing."

"Who is 'we all?'"

"All the kids and all the teachers, too; everybody I know does it...right after announcements every morning."

I was confused, but I thanked him and allowed him to go on his way. Once back in the office I checked his schedule card. I wanted to speak with his homeroom teacher. She was free fourth period so I took a chance she'd be in the faculty room. She was, so I asked her to speak to me in the hall. "I just had an interesting discussion with one of your homeroom students about praying for Lizzie."

"Come back in, Chuck." She opened the door and led me back inside. "Question, everyone—how many of you are praying every day for Chuck's wife, Lizzie?" I was astonished when everyone raised their hands. "Everyone is doing it, Chuck. We have a lot of respect for you and we know what you're going through. I'm pretty sure that every single student who believes in God has joined in. Yes, we all know that we're not supposed to organize prayer in school, but there's no way we're going to stop. You can write all of us up if you want."

I just turned around and began to leave, but before I did I turned back to say, "Thanks...so much. I can't begin to tell you all how much..." I turned back before I broke down completely. I couldn't believe that so many people thought so much of Lizzie and me. I retreated to my office, but not before calling my assistants to a brief meeting.

"How long? And don't think you can bullshit me." They gave me some sheepish looks before Patrick finally answered.

"Remember the March faculty meeting when Marty asked to speak with the staff after our meeting?" I did, of course. Marty was the teacher union president. It wasn't uncommon for the union building rep to ask for some time at the end of a meeting, but the union president was a rarity. "Marty spoke with the teachers for some time. He told them all about Lizzie's problems."

"How did he know?"

"Don't yell at us, Chuck. We told him and asked for his help. The whole prayer thing was our idea. You can write us up if you want, but it was the only thing we could think of to help."

"How many are involved?"

"Everyone...the whole school. There's nothing organized. The teachers take a minute after announcements for what we call silent meditation. Stan and I do it and the secretaries, the custodians, the kitchen staff...everybody."

"The kids?"

"Especially the kids, Chuck—you know how everyone likes and respects you."

"I don't understand how you managed to keep it quiet for so long. Why didn't I get some complaints from parents?" They had no answer and neither did I. I let them go back to work. The whole thing was completely illegal—prayer in school might fly in Georgia or Texas or Mississippi, but here in New York? I could be severely disciplined, but I didn't have the heart to stop them.

Before I knew it the school year had ended and we were ready for graduation. Thankfully, the weather cooperated. It was a clear sunny day with the temperature in the mid-eighties. That meant we could hold the ceremony on the football field with the families seated in the grandstands on both sides. We never used tickets outside so anyone who wanted to could come. Bad weather meant we'd be in the sweaty gym with only two family members per graduate.

We do graduation right in my opinion. All the administrators and many of the teachers participate, all of us dressed in our academic robes. Carl and I always walked together, leading the administrators, Board members, and teachers. The teachers then split into two lines with the graduates marching between them to the always somber "Pomp and Circumstance." I presided as always, shaking each student's hand and receiving hugs from more than half the graduates. 




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 02



You'd think that having four hundred-plus students in a class would make all of them pretty much the same, but you'd be wrong. Some classes are much smarter and more motivated than others. Some lack leadership or energy. This had been one of the better ones with lots of excellent students and athletes and outstanding leadership. I'd miss this class. Working with them had been a pleasure.

CHAPTER 7

I was required by contract to work through June 30th—the end of the fiscal year—then I was free until the second week in August. I'd come in roughly once a week to either interview new teacher candidates or to check on incoming textbooks and supplies for the coming year. Sometimes supply houses fucked up big time like the fetal pig problem I'd had when I first took the job here. The science department had ordered fifty fetal pigs for the advanced biology classes. Instead, we received five hundred. I told the company to either pick them up or we would throw them in the trash. They were gone a week later.

Just as my vacation was beginning, David's would end. He had been hired along with almost twenty other recent graduates to help the custodial staff with the summer cleaning. David had learned the very first week that having a principal for a father was as much a handicap as a boon. I expected him to earn his wage and my head custodian was even more demanding. David received no breaks, but was treated like every other temporary employee.

Beth would also work as an aide at a nearby veterans' hospital—excellent training for her career as an occupational therapist. She had roughly a thirty-minute commute, but that was good training, too. I'd had to work summers and vacations when I was in school and, even though I hated it until I found my way to the beach, I did appreciate the concept of creating a positive work ethic—something that had stayed with me throughout my entire life.

June 30th was on a Wednesday. I bugged out early. Everything that had to be done was and there was nothing on the horizon for two weeks when I'd hold final interviews for three teaching positions—English, French, and Chemistry. I especially hated to lose the Chem. teacher. She was young and a bundle of energy, but her husband had been transferred to Denver. I'd phoned a high school principal with a recommendation for her and I was sure she'd be hired. Me? I headed home to work on an idea I'd had—an idea that would help us to spend more productive time with Lizzie. I went to begin cleaning up my boat.

Having been born and bred on Long Island I'd been exposed to fishing at a young age, tossing my first drop line at four and graduating to a rod and reel the following year. My high school buddies and I spent every non-working moment fishing until we were old enough to drive. Then we spend our daylight hours fishing and our nights chasing every young skirt we could find. That had pretty much continued right up to the day I'd first dated Lizzie.

My first boat had been an old tub, one that had been virtually abandoned by its owner. I'd bought it for a song, fixed it up, and even taken Lizzie and our young kids fishing. Then, two years ago, I'd bought a brand spanking new Grady-White 23-foot center console with a Fiberglass T-top and a V6 225 horsepower Yamaha outboard. It was my dream boat. Unfortunately, that was the year that Lizzie had become ill so it had been rarely used. I'd spent my time instead taking Lizzie to doctor after doctor, worrying the entire time what would happen to my beautiful wife.

I'd asked Dr. Thompson about taking Lizzie out onto the bay, thinking the family activity would be good for her. I was surprised as hell when he readily agreed.

My trip home was detoured a bit as I stopped at West Marine for a new PFD—an automatically inflating life jacket—for Toni. Everyone on board would wear one or they wouldn't get on. David and Beth...Lizzie, too, knew this rule. The Great South Bay is shallow. Most of it isn't more than five or six feet deep, but you can drown in a hell of a lot less than that and it can be treacherous with sand bars sometimes hidden just below the surface. And, then there are the other boaters, some of whom are clueless about the simplest boating protocols. There are plenty of accidents on the water every year involving drunk drivers and other inane stupidity.

Once home I changed into an old tee and shorts, filled a jug with ice and water, and removed the tarp from the boat. I washed it from bow to stern. That was the easy part. Next was the waxing, one of the most important steps in protecting a boat from the harsh elements associated with salt water. I had finished the inside when David returned home and came out back to help. Instead, we finished for the day and showered before driving once again to the Chinese restaurant where we met Toni. After dinner we drove immediately to see Lizzie.

She was confused as always, but she did smile when David and Beth kissed her cheek. One of the staff had told us that she'd had a "good day," whatever that meant. I still didn't know, although I knew that Alzheimer's patients often became cross and belligerent for no apparent reason. So far I hadn't seen any of that from Lizzie. We told her we were going fishing on July Fourth. She seemed to like the idea, but who could really know? David and Beth would pick her up at 9:30 that morning. By then Toni and I would have returned from her house, picked up some subs, salads, and pickles from the deli and loaded them with a couple of cases of soda in the cooler with enough ice to keep us going all day and into the night. I'd rigged a shade in the past and I was pretty sure we'd need it for Lizzie. I planned on giving her a nap once the fishing was done.

Everything went without a hitch. Toni and I spent the night together, falling asleep together only in the early morning after fucking twice and bringing her to three explosive orgasms. I thought that night that I could really fall for Toni if something were to happen to Lizzie. However, while Lizzie lived, regardless of her health, there would only be one woman for me. After leaving Lizzie around eight so she could get a good night's rest David drove Beth home for their dates. I said nothing, even knowing that they'd have company all night—Paul Davis sleeping with Beth in her small bed and Laura James sleeping with David. Toni had been right—there was more than enough stress to go around. If my kids were going to have sex, and they obviously were, I'd prefer it be in a safe and controlled situation rather than in the back seat of some car where they could fall prey to some predator or pervert.

Toni and I had all the ice, sodas, and food in the big fish box under one of the bow seats by the time Lizzie arrived with the kids. I'd hooked up the boat trailer to Lizzie's SUV last night and stowed all the gear, too. We had plenty of rods and reels, sinkers and hooks—enough to last almost the entire summer, if needed. We belted Lizzie into the middle of the rear seat between Beth and Toni while David joined me up front. A minute later we were moving down the highway toward Captree State Park, only minutes from our home. 

Captree occupies one end of the western section of Fire Island, a barrier beach that separates the Great South Bay from the Atlantic. Nobody swims there, not with the state's two premier ocean beaches nearby. Mammoth Jones Beach was just a few minutes' drive to the west. Robert Moses, named for the architect of all the state parks on Long Island, was just a minute southeast of Captree. The two parks were separated by the Fire Island Inlet, a place where fishing was king.

I paid the parking fee and carefully backed the trailer down the ramp while David handled the lines and Toni and Beth held Lizzie securely between them well off to the side where we knew she would be safe. David had the boat secured tightly to the dock and had handed the women in by the time I had returned from the parking lot. Beth had helped Lizzie into her PFD and was helping Toni apply SPF-50 lotion into her fair skin. The sun can be brutal on the water.

We made a quick stop for bait—four dozen live killies—at one of the shops located on pilings in the nearby bay before moving down into the inlet to catch the incoming tide. Under the bridge to Robert Moses State Park we went en route to the inlet's mouth. The Atlantic was unusually calm. We'd had wind out of the northwest for the past three days and it had knocked the waves on the south-facing beaches down to almost nothing. We were able to ride all the way out into the ocean before drifting back to the inlet on the incoming tide.

David had the rods out and I baited Lizzie's, running the sharp hook through the small fish's lips. I had thought that I'd have to teach Lizzie all over again, but she simply took the reel in her hands and lowered the hook over the side, telling me, "I know how to do it." And she did, bringing up the day's first fish, a nineteen-inch fluke—legal by an inch-that I placed carefully into the live well with the bait.

We continued our drift with Beth teaching Toni who managed to catch our second fish—unfortunately a "short" that we returned immediately to the bay. I kept the motor running the entire drift for two reasons—to keep the boat perpendicular to the direction of drift and because of the heavy traffic in the inlet. Captree is the home of a big recreational fishing fleet including both deep sea fishing boats and "party" or "head" boats that were drifting with us on the tide. Being July Fourth every maniac who could find a boat was also on the water. I had to keep a sharp lookout the entire time.

David and I took a good-natured ribbing from Beth and Toni when I signaled the drift at an end. "Gals two, guys zero," Beth teased. It only got worse when Toni joined in.

"Go ahead," I told them. "The day is young." I turned the boat back to the ocean once all the rods were stowed. I leaned over the center console to kiss Lizzie's cheek once we had begun the second drift. This time David and I were more successful, each bringing in a keeper that went into the live well. Unfortunately for the guys, Lizzie and Beth also caught fish so they were still up on us. This was a competition that had gone on for years. None of us had any idea who was ahead and none of us really cared. We just had so much fun teasing each other.

We fished right up until slack water—the time just before and after high tide when the water was barely moving- when we stopped for a bite to eat. We needed moving water for the fluke to feed. That would come in about a half hour once the ebb had begun. Then we'd drift again, but in the opposite direction—toward the ocean. I found a quiet area away from the other boats and David dropped the anchor, securing the line to the cleat as I turned the engine off. We sat around the bow as Toni pulled sandwiches—roast beef, Virginia ham, and turkey breast-and salads from the cooler. I sat next to Lizzie, again kissing her cheek before leaning forward to do the same to Toni. Was this whole scene weird, or what?

We finished eating just as the water began to move. I started the engine using its power to help get the anchor up and we drove into the channel to continue our fishing. We wound up with six keepers for our efforts that I kept alive in the constantly circulating live well. These fish will only feed two hours before and two hours after high tide so there was no point continuing after that even though the all-day party boats would, catching only occasionally an oddball fish.

We moved away from the inlet to a quiet area where a number of other boats were anchored. David, Beth, and Toni went ashore to the beach for some swimming while I rigged a thin nylon sail into a shade for Lizzie. Once I was done I spread a few towels across the bow seats and led Lizzie to lie down. I lay with her, spooning behind her and kissing her neck. "Oh, my darling, if you only knew how much I miss you. I miss your kisses and your gentle touch and your smile. I miss talking with you about my day and I miss you in our bed. I still have trouble believing that you love me so much that you wanted me to take a lover. Toni is wonderful, but she's not you." I stopped then. Lizzie's breathing told me that she was asleep. I rested my head on my arm and said a silent prayer that somehow this nightmare would someday end.

We slept for three hours, awakening only when we heard Beth, David, and Toni laughing and joking as they moved over the sandy ridge toward us. I sat up and stretched and a moment later I was joined by Lizzie. For a second I thought I saw a sign of recognition in her face. But a second later it was gone. I leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. "And, what have you two been up to, Dad?"

"Nothing, unfortunately—I was praying that this nightmare would somehow end, but I have no idea how. This whole thing is just so frustrating." Toni had just climbed up the ladder and she came to me. Sitting me in the pilot's seat, she climbed into my lap and kissed me, holding it for more than a minute.

"Sorry, Chuck, but you obviously needed that." Then, changing the subject, she and the kids told us all about their misadventures in the ocean. The wind had shifted while Lizzie and I were sleeping and the waves had reappeared in a second, catching many of the swimmers totally by surprise. I knew how that could happen just as I knew that the lifeguards would have a busy afternoon.

We spent the rest of the day at the beach, but I wouldn't let Lizzie go into the ocean. Instead, we swam in the placid bay. We splashed each other and hugged and kissed. It was just like the old days—okay...it wasn't. I kissed Lizzie and she accepted it, but she didn't respond. She couldn't and that tore my heart from my body yet again.

We dried off after quick showers at the boat's stern using the "Sun Shower"—water heated by the sun and fed by gravity through a slender hose and nozzle. The center console of this boat has a small compartment with a portable head. First Beth then Toni and David used this area to change into shorts and tees. Beth and Toni helped Lizzie change as I held the nylon sheet to provide some privacy. Finally, I changed. By then the temperature was dropping and the sun had almost set.

We pulled the anchor and moved out into the bay. The party boats were docked for the night and many of the boats we'd seen earlier in the day had gone, too. However, there were plenty of folks still out on the water. This was the best way to view the annual fireworks display. Beth broke out the evening meal—more subs and salads with sodas that were still icy cold.

The spectacular fireworks began promptly at ten and were done twenty minutes later. Thirty minutes later we were back in the SUV on our way to the home. We took Lizzie in to her room where Beth and Toni helped her shower and we tucked her into bed with hugs and kisses. I drove home, left the trailer on the hitch in the driveway and left with Toni. There'd be no sex tonight. We were both too tired. David and Beth had agreed to fillet the fish, clean and dry the fillets, and place them in a plastic bag in the refrigerator. Cleaning the boat, rods, and engine would wait until tomorrow.

Toni and I showered together as we'd done so many times together since we'd gotten together months ago. We had become so predictable. I always spent an inordinate period on her breasts, pussy, and butt crack while kissing her slender neck. She always concentrated on my cock and balls, although she often kissed my neck while running her hands up and down my chest. Tonight's showers were quick and to the point—wash, dry, and to bed naked, as always. We spooned, Toni with her back and butt pressed into me as I kissed her neck. "Let's go to sleep, Chuck. We have another big day tomorrow. I'll take care of you first thing. That's a promise." She turned her head for a quick kiss and then we were gone.

Spending the day on the water was always exhausting. I slept like the dead and Toni told me that she had done the same. We agreed that the day had been a huge success so far as Lizzie was concerned. We'd been talking in bed for maybe ten minutes when she jumped up, running to the bathroom. I went to the other bath, returning to find Toni sprawled across the bed, the blanket and top sheet strewn across the floor. Her waggling finger drew me to her.

Toni reached up for me, pulling me to her as soon as our hands touched. I moved down, covering her body with mine as we shared our first kiss of the day. Our tongues explored; our hands roamed. She found my hard cock, stroking me gently as I found her wet and wanting. Toni turned me over and rose to straddle my hips and a second later she had slid down my pole. We began to move together a second after that.

We worked each other hard, developing a healthy sweat in the cool morning air as we moved closer and closer until...FINALLY! I erupted into her vault just as she shook violently from the first of four massive convulsions of a wicked good orgasm like nothing I'd ever seen from either her or Lizzie. She collapsed onto my chest and lay there for what seemed an eternity as our sweat pooled on my belly.

Weakly Toni lifted her head then returned it to my shoulder before whispering, "What the hell was that? It's a good thing you're married because if you weren't..."

I was laughing as I replied, "Yeah, I liked it, too." Her response was to poke me in the ribs then she, too, began to chuckle.

"I wouldn't mind starting every day like that."

"No," I replied, "then it wouldn't be special. It would be routine and eventually boring." She rose up again and gave me a look that said—what the fuck? "Okay," I continued, "neither routine nor boring, but not quite as special." She kissed me and tried to rise, but I held her to me. "Don't...please." She returned her head to my shoulder as I rubbed my hands over her back and butt. Maybe half an hour later I gave in and she led me to the shower. 

CHAPTER 8

Toni was tentative over breakfast. I looked into her eyes and saw my own looking back at me. I knew exactly what she was thinking. "Do you want to see less of me?"

"No, Chuck...why would you think that?"

"Because I see the same uncertainty in your eyes that I've seen in mine; I've already acknowledged to myself that I could fall for you in a heartbeat if Lizzie wasn't in the picture."

"That sounds awfully familiar. I'll have to be very careful." Then she leaned across the table and kissed me. "Yes, I could get terribly used to that. C'mon, let's get over to your place. You have work to do." We cleaned up together, climbed into my car and drove past my house to pick up Lizzie from the home.

She came with us willingly, but we could see the confusion in her eyes. A few minutes later she walked into her own home for the first time in months. Beth and David greeted her with hugs and kisses first then I took her into my arms again, holding her close and reminding myself once again of what I had lost. I turned her over to Beth and Toni while David and I attended to the boat, motor, and rods.

Everything was hosed down and the boat was given a quick wash then I attached the hose directly to the engine and flushed it out while running slowly at idle. Once that was done I backed out into the street, pulled forward, and backed the trailer onto the grass adjacent to the driveway. I checked out the fillets and tried to figure out how much we would need for dinner. I bagged the rest, splitting them almost equally-one for an elderly couple across the street and the other for the divorced woman next door.

You might ask why I hadn't tried to get involved with her instead of Toni. The answer was simple—she had actually come on to me several times over the years we'd been neighbors. She wanted to fuck me—she'd even told me so too many times—and I knew she was a horrible slut. It was bad enough having Lizzie sick, my getting some STD wouldn't help and I knew that she'd never get the kind of acceptance our kids had given Toni.




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 02



We spent a relaxing day around the pool, laughing and swimming—Lizzie looking as incredible as ever in her bikini. I missed making love with my wife something awful. I enjoyed Toni—maybe a little too much—but nothing...nobody would ever replace my incredible wife.

We left the pool around five to shower and prepare dinner. I had placed several potatoes in the oven to bake almost an hour ago. Now I placed the fluke fillets in a large baking pan, basting liberally with olive oil while Toni and Beth tossed a salad. We ate precisely at six so we could take Lizzie back to the home and Toni, Beth, and David could get a decent night's sleep in preparation for work the following morning.

David and Beth had Lizzie in the car while I stayed behind for a moment with Toni. "Other than my wife and kids there's no one on this planet who means as much to me as you do, Toni. You're an incredible person and I do love you."

"I love you, too Chuck. I just hope I don't fall completely in love with you. I know that would be impossible for both of us." I agreed with her, but we kissed for several minutes anyway. After one final quick peck I showed her out. Fifteen minutes later she was home and we'd put Lizzie to bed once again.

We went fishing almost every weekend, spending as much quality time with Lizzie as possible. If it helped her I wouldn't know; there were no visible signs even though—God knows—we were praying every day for a miracle.

I went to work for two days in the middle of July to interview new teachers. In some districts the principal would do the preliminaries and pass the final candidates on to the district office. Here the process was the exact opposite. Carl believed, as did I, that I had to live with the teachers every day so I should have the final say on who was hired. I interviewed eight people on the first day, amazed as I often am how people dress for an interview. Patrick was with me throughout the day because he would supervise the English and French teachers. He was fluent in French while I knew about three words.

After one interview I asked the candidate, a young woman with excellent academic credentials if she was really interested in the job. "Of course," she replied instantly, "everyone knows this is an excellent school."

"Then, may I ask you why you dressed the way you did? You're wearing a set of overalls, for crying out loud."

"Well, you're not wearing a suit."

"That's true, but I already have a job and I don't have to impress anyone, do I? You're here to impress us so we'll offer you the position. One of the critical things we consider is a candidate's judgment and, having worn this absurd outfit to an interview has led us to seriously question yours. We won't offer the position to you, but hopefully you'll think a bit more for your next one. Thank you for your time." I rose and the interview was over. Of the four French candidates we hadn't found even a single one worth hiring. We did better with the English interviews, recommending that we hire two—one for the English position and the second, a French minor, for that position.

The following day Patrick joined me again to interview for the chemistry opening. A good chemistry candidate could wear a burlap bag to the interview—that's how hard it was to find a good one. We only had three finalists and selected a young man who had been teaching junior high general science in another district. For these interviews I had invited our one remaining chemistry teacher to join us.

It was mid-August before I knew it and the final week of August I conducted new teacher orientation, reminded once again of my fateful meeting with Lizzie. School opened the Wednesday after Labor Day with the usual problems—some students needed to have schedule conflicts resolved and the school buses all seemed to be late even though we had been assured the drivers knew the routes by heart. My personal highlight was seeing Jackie Henderson-formerly McMullen-enter school with the biggest smile I'd ever seen. She asked me to come to the nurse's office with her. She stripped down as she had last March; I was astounded to see no scars. "Mom and Dad took me to a dermatologist so the scars could be removed. Aren't they great?" I hugged Jackie while I agreed. Jackie had gone from hell to heaven.

The first week was hectic, but we all knew it would be so we were as prepared as could be. I anticipated that the second week would go more smoothly, but on Wednesday a phone call changed everything. It was Dr. Thompson who had called. "Dr. Spangler, can you bring your wife to the University Hospital tomorrow morning at ten? It could be terribly important. I'm sorry, but I can't tell you any more until Lizzie has been examined."

"Okay, I guess...I'll bring her." He continued, telling me the exact location and who we would meet. I phoned Carl to ask for the time off. "I have no idea what they want, Carl, but I'll try anything to help her." My next call was to the home, making arrangements to pick her up at 9:00.

To anyone living in Suffolk County there's only one University Hospital—the home of the Stony Brook University Medical School. Several of my personal physicians were professors there and they were all outstanding. I spent the rest of the day praying for a miracle.

We arrived early—the home was only fifteen minutes from the hospital, but I knew from experience that finding a parking place could be a problem and Lizzie would be slow-moving because of her confusion. We walked into the lobby at 9:35 and out of the elevator on the third floor a few minutes later. Down the hall toward the Neurology Department we went, stopping at the nurses' station where I asked for Dr. Thompson or Dr. Kingman. Dr. Thompson met us a few minutes later and led us into an exam room.

"Chuck, I have to leave you here for a bit while our team examines Lizzie. I'm sorry, but we can't have any distractions during the testing. I'll explain everything in about forty-five minutes. Help yourself to some of the magazines or watch the TV." He took Lizzie by the arm and led her through a door on the opposite side of the room. I sat in one of the chairs and thumbed through some of the year-old magazines, but I couldn't concentrate. I was worried about Lizzie.

Time dragged as it always does when waiting and this time it was even worse because I had no idea what I was waiting for or why Dr. Thompson thought it was so important. Finally, after what seemed to be hours, Dr. Thompson reappeared, taking the chair opposite mine. "Any idea what biochemistry is, Chuck?"

"Sure...I have a Master's in biology and I've taken plenty of chemistry courses. Many plant and animal processes are chemical reactions."

"Yes, that's a pretty good description. We have teams of biochemists working along with our neurology staff to isolate and identify the chemicals that affect the brain and the central nervous system. Much of our study has involved cadavers and the major problem we've had to face is that brain tissue deteriorates after death much faster than most of the body's other organs, but recently we've had a breakthrough in that area.

"About six months ago we were able to identify a chemical that had previously been suspected, but never confirmed. In tests with mice memory was significantly improved and now we want to try it on human subjects. That's why we wanted to examine Lizzie—to determine if she would be a suitable subject."

"And...?"

"It's not quite that simple. We'll select two hundred to test." My face must have shown the shock I felt because he hesitated for a moment. "Yes, Chuck there's no shortage of test subjects, unfortunately. Half will get the serum and half will get placebo. The chemical is a liquid so it will have to be injected daily.

"I'm not going to lie to you. We have no idea what an effective dosage will be or even if there will be an effective dosage...and there is the potential that the serum could injure or even kill the subject. We tested five hundred mice and six of them died during the test period. We have no idea if that was related to the medication or if it was some other problem."

"I assume that Lizzie qualifies since you're telling me all of this."

"Yes, she's an ideal subject because she hasn't been seriously impacted for long, but she is seriously impacted."

"When do you need an answer?"

"The sooner the better; oh, yeah—she'll have to move into the hospital here and you'll have to administer the injections. We'll show you how to do it and give you plenty of practice. The reason we insist on this is that you'd have to do it if she is able to go home."

"What happens if she gets the placebo?"

"That will be pure saline solution so there will be no impact. However, if the procedure works those subjects will be the first to get the serum once it's approved. That could take years, unfortunately."

"Damn! This could cure or kill her; I don't know what to do. I really don't." We waited in silence until Lizzie was led back into the room a few minutes later. I knew then what I would have to do.

I had belted Lizzie into the passenger seat and slipped into the driver's when I pulled out my phone to call David. I was a bit surprised when he answered. "I have something extremely important to discuss with you and Beth. Please get her to your apartment for a phone call at seven tonight. It could take quite a while."

("Is this about Mom?")

"Yes...we have a very important decision to make. It's something we have to do together. I'll explain everything then. I need to call Toni. I'll want her input, too." I ended the call and rang Toni knowing that she'd be busy. I left a message asking her to call me ASAP. Twenty minutes later I had kissed Lizzie good-bye and was on my way back to school.

Toni called me at noon and I briefly outlined what had happened. She agreed to come immediately after court, bringing a pizza for dinner. We talked and talked during dinner. She listened and questioned me, but did not offer any opinion. I rang David at seven exactly, using the land-line and setting the phone on speaker. I got right down to business after greeting my children.

"Your mom is eligible to test a new serum," I began.

"Great!" Beth could barely contain herself.

"Maybe...maybe not." I explained the pro's and con's, how the serum, if she was given it, could harm or even kill her. We talked back and forth for almost a half hour without reaching any decision. Then I realized that Toni had been silent. I turned to face her then asked, "What do you think, Toni?"

"I don't want to intrude on what should be a family decision, but...I don't think there is anything to really consider. Lizzie is alive now, but is virtually dead to your family. If there is any chance to bring her back you have to try it. That's what I would do if it was my husband involved. Didn't the doctor tell you that time was a critical factor?"

"I agree, Dad," David interrupted. "When you come down to it, what do we have to lose? Six mice out of five hundred and they don't even know why they died. I say go for it."

"I don't know," Beth told me, "but, I'll support whatever you decide, Dad."

"Me too, Chuck." Toni took my hand in a show of support.

"Okay...I'll phone Dr. Thompson first thing tomorrow morning and tell him we'll do it. This would be a great time to pray for your mother...me, too. I'll have to give the injections and monitor her progress if she has any."

I ended the call and looked into Toni's eyes. She rose from the kitchen table and pulled me up with her, leading me to Beth's bedroom. I stood silently as she swiftly removed my clothes then hers. She laid me carefully onto the bed and lowered herself onto my body. Toni kissed me with a tenderness I hadn't experienced in ages and with the love we'd both denied had existed—had denied was even possible. Yes...I'd learned to love Toni. It was more than the sex. We'd stopped fucking months ago, making love instead. Yet, there'd never been any question that Lizzie was my number one.

She held me and kissed me as she rubbed her abdomen over my cock. It felt like it was made of steel when she slowly rose-her eyes on mine the entire time. She was sliding down my organ as she voiced what we were both feeling. "I love you, Chuck, but that's not what's important here. It's Lizzie. She's all that matters. I'd hate giving up what we have, but I'd do it in a heartbeat if she could recover. I'd do anything for that."

I had just begun driving up into her when I finally had the nerve to reply. "You've known for months how I feel about you, Toni. I love you, too, but you're right. Everything has to be for Lizzie. She can't do it for herself so we have to do it for her. I pray...oh, God...I don't know what I pray for, Toni."

We were really into it now, moving together like a well oiled machine—me thrusting deeply into her hot cunt, her rubbing her clit into my abdomen—when she leaned down to kiss me. "We both know what you're praying for, Chuck. We're both praying that Lizzie will recover even though we both know it will mean the end of us. You're a one-woman man and I'm a one-man woman. Neither of us would ever think of cheating. I couldn't love you if you were any other way." She punctuated her remarks by squeezing me with her powerful cunt muscles and seconds later we both came explosively. I held Toni as though I never wanted to let her go.



I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 03



CHAPTER 9 

Toni and I went out to dinner Friday evening then I took her to the first home football game. By now we'd been seen in public dozens of times and almost everyone in the community knew about Lizzie and her DVD's. I never did know how, but our situation was common knowledge. We sat near the fifty-yard line with Carl and George Jeffers, our new athletic director. It was a fine clear and cool evening that would have been ideal if only we had won the game. Unfortunately, we played nearby Bay Shore, a perennial powerhouse in both football and basketball. We were routed 42-17. 

Toni and I retreated to her house where we made the most beautiful and intense love until almost four in the morning when we succumbed to exhaustion. We fell asleep in each other's arms, covered in semen and pussy juice, so much that we were stuck to each other when we woke to the alarm at nine. Showering together, we were cleaned up, shaved, and dressed before ten. We stopped at the Dunkin' Donuts drive-through for coffee and donuts then drove to my house where we swapped my car for Lizzie's SUV. A few minutes later we walked into Lizzie's room. Toni packed the clothes from the dresser drawers into a suitcase while I carried the clothes from the closet to the rear of the SUV. We had everything done, including Lizzie's toiletries, blanket and pillow in half an hour. Throughout the entire move Lizzie had sat passively, looking out the window and not even once recognizing our presence. 

Dr. Thompson had told me that a special section of the medical center had been enlarged to handle the two hundred Alzheimer's residents. Toni and I led Lizzie into the lobby and were directed to room136 just down the hallway and then to the right. Toni stayed with Lizzie while I brought in the suitcase and toiletries first then her other clothes later. Toni stayed with her while I went with a nurse to learn all about giving injections. She laughed at my expression when she handed me a large grapefruit. "Imagine this is your wife's butt cheek." 

"That does require a lot of imagination," I commented with a chuckle. Then the nurse became serious. 

"We have a full schedule mapped out for Elizabeth—day by day with the exact dosage, starting low and increasing until we hopefully see a result. The injections are intramuscular rather than intravenous to allow for gradual absorption of the drug. That will also make giving the injection much simpler. Any place in her cheek will do and you won't have to worry about air bubbles which would be a major concern in her veins." 

"An embolism, you mean." 

"Yes...Dr. Thompson told me you had a Master's in bio so I assume you'll know a bit more than most of the spouses." Then she gave me the full course. Three hours later I had given more than one hundred successful injections of different volumes. The nurse checked me on every one. That damned grapefruit looked like a yellow watermelon that's how swollen it was from the saline I'd pumped into it. I thought I was done when she brought out a liter bottle with Lizzie's name on it. With it was a plastic folder with several sheets of paper and columns for the date, dosage, a place for my initials, and a line for notes although the nurse had explained that it could be weeks or longer before anything might happen. 

I took a new syringe and carefully inserted the needle through the rubber gasket before pulling out the plunger until 1.5 milliliters exactly had been extracted. I pulled the needle out and covered it with the protective cap. I initialed the sheet and grabbed a packet with an alcohol swab and another with sterile gauze pads. A deep breath later I was, hopefully, ready to administer my first injection. 

I could see the look of concern on Toni's face when I entered Lizzie's room. "Sorry, honey...I was learning how to do this. I pray to God I can do it right." I moved over to Lizzie and pulled her up so she was standing. "Lizzie, darling—I have to give you a shot. It has to go in your butt, but don't worry I've seen your butt thousands of times and I'll give it a tender kiss once I'm done." 

Toni helped Lizzie to lean over the bed as I lifted her dress and dropped her panties to her knees. I tore open the foil packet with the alcohol swab and wiped it over a small area of her left cheek. A second later the needle was in her as I spoke with a soothing voice to calm my wife. I dabbed the area with gauze in case there was any blood then leaned over and kissed my wife's butt. It was the most personal and intimate thing I'd done with her in more than five months and I'd done it in front of my lover and Lizzie's nurse. I disposed of the syringe and the nurse left, giving me a high-five for a job well done. 

Toni and I spent most of the day with Lizzie, trying to engage her and telling her about her change of residence but it all went over her head. She spent most of the day looking out the window even though her view was restricted by the rear wall of the hospital. We left in the mid-afternoon, returning the following afternoon to administer another injection. 

That's pretty much the way things went for more than a month with absolutely no sign of improvement. "God damn it, Toni—they've given her the placebo. There's no hope for her...none at all. I'm so depressed." I was, too—so depressed that I didn't even want to make love with Toni that night. However, she did get to me the following—a Friday night that I spent at her house. I confess that I took out my frustrations on poor Toni's body. God bless her—she understood completely, even as I pounded her pussy relentlessly. All the same I was really down the following afternoon when I saw Lizzie at the hospital for her shot. Being involved in this experiment was a full-time commitment. There were no days off for me or for Lizzie. 

Lizzie turned when Toni and I walked in. "Oh, are you here to give me my shot?" Toni reacted in an instant, gripping my arm tightly before whispering that she'd notify the nurse. 

"Yes, I am, darling. I know you're just waiting for me to kiss your sweet little butt, aren't you?" She giggled as she dropped her Capri's and panties. A minute later I had once again kissed her butt cheek and helped her with her clothes. I hugged her and she, for the first time since she had been placed into the home, hugged me back. 

She seemed to make a little progress every day as her dosage continued to increase until Toni and I walked in exactly two weeks later. Lizzie turned to face us when we opened the door. Her eyes fluttered several times and when they opened she called my name. "Chuck? Is it really you?" I rushed forward to hug my wife. She held me tightly while Toni stood by, a smile on her face and a tear in her eye. Lizzie broke the hug, but only to engage me in the strongest, most loving kiss of my life. Her passion was beyond belief. "I'm back, Chuck. You'll have to explain everything to me." Only then did she realize that we weren't alone. 

"Are you going to introduce me, Chuck?" 

Holding her hand I extended my other to Toni. "Do you remember making some DVD's before you became really ill?" She seemed to be thinking, but I wasn't sure that she really recalled everything. "You asked me to promise to find a surrogate for you—someone to talk with and socialize with and someone to have sex with. I'd like to tell you that I found Toni, but she actually found me. We'll tell you the whole story one of these days." 

Lizzie stepped forward to hug Toni. "Thank you for taking care of Chuck. I know what a burden he can be." 

"It was my pleasure, believe me." 

"I certainly hope so. I'd be angry with Chuck if he didn't take good care of you." Damned if I didn't blush at her remarks. Lizzie and Toni noticed immediately and laughed then hugged again. This time Toni broke it. 

"I'll go and tell the nurse. Don't forget to give Lizzie her shot, Chuck." She kissed my cheek and left, leaving me with my wonderful wife. 

I held her again as I whispered, "I've waited too long for this, my love." 

"I've waited too long for something else, Chuck. I remember the DVD now and I remember promising you something special. I can hardly wait to have you in me." Unfortunately, that would have to wait. The nurse and Toni practically ran into the room with Dr. Thompson not far behind them. Lizzie was taken for an EEG, leaving Toni and me alone in Lizzie's room. For the first time in months there was an awkward silence between us. Toni broke it by reaching to me, taking my hand in hers. 

"This is what we've prayed for, Chuck." 

"I know. On the one hand I'm thrilled, but on the other I feel like part of me has died." 

"I know exactly how you feel. Part of me is dying, too. I remember what Lizzie said in my DVD, Chuck...what she'll want you to do. I can't say I blame her. I can barely go four days without you in me. What am I going to do now? Oh, Chuck!" Toni collapsed in my arms. I held her tightly for almost half an hour until we heard a commotion in the hall. It was Lizzie talking and joking with the nurse and Dr. Thompson. She became serious once we were alone again. 

"Do you have your car here, Toni?" 

"No, I came with Chuck." 

"Would you mind taking his car home and returning for him around six? I'd like to have some time alone with him, if you know what I mean. It's been a long time...too long. That's what we were laughing about in the hall. I was warning them to expect a lot of noise. I hope you don't mind." 

"No, Lizzie...this is the moment Chuck and I have been praying for." She rose from the chair, took my keys and kissed my cheek. A moment later she was gone and Lizzie was in my lap. 

"C'mon, Chuck...let's get naked. All of a sudden I'm so horny." She turned to straddle me, gripped my head fiercely and pushed her moist sweet lips into mine, her tongue darting into my mouth. We pushed and pulled the clothes from our bodies, buttons popping as they flew across the tiny room. I lifted Lizzie as I stood and carried her to the bed. It was barely big enough for one so I thought it would be perfect. I lay back with Lizzie lying on top of me. She pushed her breasts—C-cups now—into me as she ran her moist slit up and down my hard cock. 

"I hope Toni wore you out last night, Chuck. I need you to last a long time. I'll want to do this every single day from now on...several times a day. I want you in every one of my holes, even my ass. Hell...especially my ass!" She laughed before continuing, "I just want you so badly." I pushed her up and granted her wish as I pushed my cock into her cunt oozing with her creamy nectar. She responded with a low guttural moan as she bottomed out, the tip of my cock brushing lightly against her cervix. I knew from prior experience that I'd soon be bashing that sensitive tissue with every bit of force and strength my legs and hips could produce. 

Lizzie and I began to move—slowly at first—as we savored the sensations of each other's body. Lizzie went crazy on my cock. She was accustomed to mind-blowing sex four to five times a week and this was her first time in more than eight months. Her breathing was rapid and shallow as she implored me to pinch her clit and twist her nipples and kiss her. "Oh, God—just do it...do it all." One hand went to her clit, another to her nipple, and—breaking the kiss—I leaned down to bite her other nipple. Lizzie came, her body twisting and turning, totally out of control until it ebbed and she fell onto my chest. I released my grip on her clit, wrapping my arm around her back. My mouth went from her nipple to her ear lobe. She loved when I licked and sucked on it. 

Lizzie lay on top of me, seemingly in Heaven, as I wondered when she would notice. She did—almost five minutes later. "Chuck...you're still hard." She moved up, looked me in the eyes, an evil grin on her face. "Just how many times did Toni take care of you last night?" 

I chuckled. "You know a gentleman never tells. Just be glad to be reaping the benefits." 

"Oh, I am. Remind me to thank her when she returns. Now...I think I'm ready for round two." She locked those sweet lips onto mine as she began again to rock into me. This time I worried her nipples with my big strong fingers, leaving her clit alone for now. Lizzie pushed it into my abdomen as she spread her legs wide. This always forced her clit out from under its hood. I could feel her groaning into my mouth as she rubbed her hypersensitive tissue into me. 

Although her need was urgent, her pace was more leisurely. We'd had hot frantic sex the first time. Now we were making love. Lizzie's hips bent my cock back and forth, left and right, and—sometimes—both at the same time. She flexed her powerful cunt muscles to bring me along with her. After ten minutes our relaxed pace making love once again became hot frantic fucking. I pounded her like I had just two weeks ago with Toni, lifting my wife almost a foot with every forceful thrust. I felt the rumbling at the same time Lizzie began to shake. I knew her body as well as I knew my own. I came with three more strokes and Lizzie came with me, screaming as she did. She was a sweaty mess when she collapsed onto me, her hair hanging down in strings. 

I held her for a few minutes before pushing her up and off. "What are you doing, Chuck? Don't you want to hold me?" 

"Of course I do, but I need my phone." I pulled it from my pocket then lay under Lizzie again. The number was speed dialed in seconds. 

"Hi, Dad...how are you?" 

"I'm great, Beth. Hold on, I have someone here who wants to speak with you." I could see Lizzie misting up as she took the phone. She spoke with Beth for almost twenty minutes and they were both crying when the call ended. I took the phone back, kissed Lizzie and speed dialed David. That conversation paralleled the one with Beth almost word for word. I dropped the phone to the floor once they were done. 

Lizzie pushed me back as she moved between my legs. She grinned as she began to lick my organ clean. Of course, she had something else in mind and my cock responded exactly as she had hoped. She scrambled into reverse cowgirl, leaning back so I could reach her nipples and clit. I knew how much Lizzie loved this position, although I also knew that she loved all of them. Making love like this always went slowly, a half hour or more, and knowing that I'd cum less than an hour earlier meant it would take even longer. Lizzie experienced three orgasms before I was able to squirt just a little semen into her. 

We had lain together for almost an hour when Lizzie asked, "Will you sleep with Toni tonight?" 

"Sleep...probably, but that's all. You know I'd never cheat and she's the same. She was married and her husband was a serial cheater, plus she's a judge..." 

"A judge?" 

"Yes...she's a judge in the Suffolk Family Court." I spent a few minutes explaining how we had met and how we had progressed to having sex together. Lizzie had her head on my shoulder as I spoke, but I could tell that she was thinking. 

"Chuck, how long do you think I'll have to stay here?" 

"I'd guess they want to run some more tests on you, but I want you home by Thanksgiving. I was thinking we could invite Toni and Carl. I think they'd be good together." 

"Hmmm...maybe, but I think we should get dressed. Toni will be back for you soon." She was right—my watch read 5:30. I jumped up to the bathroom for a quick shower and had just finished dressing when Toni—ever the proper judge—knocked on the door. As she had stated earlier, Lizzie did thank Toni. 

"Uh...what am I being thanked for other than leaving you alone all afternoon?" 

"Well, for that, of course, but mostly for taking such good care of him last night. He had...well-let's just say he had unusual staying power this afternoon." Once again they laughed while I turned crimson. Lizzie hugged and kissed me good-bye and then she hugged Toni, taking a few seconds to whisper in her ear. We were out in my car before I asked Toni about it. 

"Sorry, Chuck...girl talk, besides I promised not to tell you." I gave her an incredulous look as I started the car and drove away. I wondered now exactly where we would be going. I was stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place. I loved Lizzie with every fiber of my body and I loved Toni every bit as much. All I could see of my future was winning and losing. All the same, I told Toni we were going out to celebrate. 

I drove into Garden City to Ruth's Chris. Dinner was great, but our mood was subdued. The mood continued once I had pulled into Toni's driveway. "What are we going to do, Chuck?" 

"I guess we're going to do everything except make love. I don't know how much longer we'll have so I want to make the most of our time together." Five minutes later we were naked in her bed. We kissed and held each other. How we managed to stop before making love amazed me, but somehow we did. We slept naked, spooning with my hand just below her breast. 

I took Toni out for Sunday brunch after Mass before driving out to visit with Lizzie. I was surprised to see Dr. Thompson there so I pulled him aside for some questions. Yes, the doctors wanted to run Lizzie through a series of tests, but she could go home in another week. He explained that the chemical I had been injecting into Lizzie was rapidly oxidized by the body so she would have to receive shots daily for the rest of her life. He assured me that we would receive an ample supply as long as we would continue to participate in their testing program. I was smiling when I joined Lizzie and Toni a few minutes later. 

"Great news, Lizzie—you can come home in another week...just in time for Thanksgiving. We'll want you to join us, Toni." 

"Yes, Chuck...we were just discussing that. I'm sure that David and Beth will be glad to see her again. Be sure to invite Carl, too. I explained to Toni that we've had him every year since he became superintendent. "It's a shame, but he has no family...none at all." We visited all afternoon, leaving just after five so I could take Toni to dinner and then home. We both had work tomorrow—Monday morning. Toni and I held each other for almost thirty minutes before kissing and saying good night. 

I was in school early that Monday morning with I smile on my face and joy in my heart. I greeted the students just as always before returning to my office. I always had students read the morning announcements and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. This morning I joined them in the sound booth. Jackie Henderson was today's reader so she introduced me. 

"I know that many of you have been praying for my wife who is suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. Recently, she has been participating in a program with a new experimental drug. I want to thank all of you because apparently someone was listening. My wife has shown complete recovery since Saturday afternoon and she will be coming home next Sunday—just in time for Thanksgiving. Once again, thank you so much." I received handshakes and good wishes all day. 

I visited Lizzie every afternoon, meeting Toni every day but Thursday when she had a meeting with the other county judges. We brought sandwiches, pizza, and Chinese food so we could eat with Lizzie. On Friday we packed up most of her clothing and Toni helped me put them away in our bedroom. I was thrilled that Lizzie was coming home, but I was already missing Toni terribly. Those feelings were only magnified on Sunday when Lizzie left the hospital to return to her home for the first time in almost nine months. We led Lizzie into the house and unpacked her clothes, dumping her dirty clothing into the hamper and placing her toiletries back into place in the bathroom. 

CHAPTER 10 

Lizzie, Toni, and I chatted all afternoon before going out for a celebration dinner. Lizzie was extremely accommodating in giving me more than thirty minutes to say good-bye to Toni once we were back home afterward. I was pretty sure that she understood what we meant to each other. Toni and I stood in the dark November evening holding, hugging, and kissing each other while we cried over the death of our relationship. I did my best to wipe my eyes with my handkerchief, but there was nothing I could do with the redness of my eyes. I turned off the living room lights and led Lizzie up to our room where we spent most of the night making the most beautiful love imaginable. I confess to thinking occasionally of Toni during that wonderful evening. Whoever made up that saying "between a rock and a hard place" was certainly on target so far as I was concerned. 




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 03



The next three days at work were a blur as everyone looked forward to the long Thanksgiving weekend. I took Lizzie to the supermarket Monday afternoon to buy the food for our feast. Tuesday afternoon saw us drive in to LaGuardia airport to collect our children. It was an emotional reunion with the four of us bawling like babies as we hugged and kissed in the baggage area. The ride home was filled with love even as we drove to the Chinese buffet before getting home around nine. Lizzie and I excused ourselves so we could shower and make love. Wednesday afternoon everyone other than the coaches and their teams left early with my blessing. I was out the door less than a minute later. 

I needn't have worried. Between Lizzie, Beth, and David the house had been cleaned from top to bottom and a healthy supply of beer, soda, and snacks had been laid in. Lizzie had bought two pounds of extra large shrimp as an appetizer in addition to several boxes of frozen hors d'oeuvres. A check of the refrigerator showed that Beth had been busy, too. There were several bags of sliced peppers, carrots, radishes, and broccoli. On the shelf just above was a big bowl of Lizzie's turkey stuffing. I remembered then just how much weight I usually put on during this weekend...and why. 

Lizzie really surprised me that night. "Do you remember what I told you Saturday afternoon, Chuck?" 

"Sure...you wanted to make love every night." 

"That was part of it. Do you remember the rest?" I sat silently for almost a minute before admitting that I didn't. "Well...let me tell you that I'm really clean for you tonight. I had to do it while the kids were out this afternoon...twice." I was sure I looked confused because I surely was. The mist suddenly cleared when Lizzie reached into her night table and retrieved a tube of anal lube. 

"Are you sure, Lizzie? This could really hurt. Why don't we just make love the normal way?" 

"I trusted you when I was ill, Chuck and I trust you now. I'm sure you'll do whatever you have to do to make it good for me. From what I've read there are three ways—doggie, cowgirl, and missionary with my hips on a pillow or two and my legs up on your shoulders. I want to try them all, but let's start with the missionary...okay?" 

I took the lube and moved Lizzie to the center of the bed, placing two pillows under her hips. Her legs on my shoulders, I leaned forward for a kiss. Breaking it, I moved back to open the lube and spread some on my fingers. My first finger was in Lizzie's ass for almost five minutes, spreading lube around her sphincter, when I pushed my second into her. Lizzie's moans grew louder and there was no sign of pain. I'd stop in a heartbeat if I saw or heard one. 

My third finger made Lizzie gasp, but I thought it was more from pleasure than pain. I rubbed a handful of lube over my rock-hard cock and changed fingers for cock in an instant. My hands went to Lizzie's shins as I began to fuck her hard. The lube made everything seem smooth. But there was no denying the tightness of Lizzie's anus. I knew I wouldn't last as long as usual so I reached down to Lizzie's clit with my cleaner hand—the one covered with lube, but not anything from her ass—to rub and twist her clit. The bed was really rocking when I came, pumping five hot jets of thick white semen into my incredible wife. I was just finishing when Lizzie began to shake wildly. I continued to worry her hard clit until I knew that Lizzie couldn't take any more then I released her legs and, my cock still in her ass, I leaned forward for another kiss. 

"Tell me why we didn't do that sooner, Chuck." 

"I guess because I was afraid to hurt you. We can do it again, but not right away. C'mon, we need to clean up this bed and then shower. We have a big day tomorrow." I kissed Lizzie again and pulled her up, my cock vacating her ass with a big "pop." Working and showering together we were done and in bed fifteen minutes later. 

Lizzie and I lay together naked, her head lightly on my shoulder and her leg over my thigh when she whispered, "Are you looking forward to seeing Toni tomorrow?" 

"Yes, I am. We meant an awful lot to each other for more than eight months. It's tough to stop seeing someone who meant that much so suddenly. I'm thrilled to have you back with me, but right now I'm wishing you had never made me promise to find a surrogate for you. I love you, Lizzie, but you and your promises..." I stopped speaking then, realizing that Lizzie was asleep. 

I made breakfast as I had always done on Thanksgiving morning. Bacon, sausage, and stacks of hot pancakes were enough to hold everyone until this afternoon when we'd serve the shrimp and hors d'oeuvres. Once breakfast was done and the dishes in the dishwasher I began with the turkey, adding the stuffing to the cavity and covering the chest with thick-cut bacon. My mom had taught me to do this back when I was just a boy. Bacon would keep the turkey moist and we wouldn't have to baste it every thirty minutes. I put it into the oven at 11:30. 

I greeted Toni at the door with a hug and a relatively chaste kiss. I put her jacket into the closet while Beth and David hugged her then Lizzie came out of the kitchen for a hug, too. We talked while I made drinks for Lizzie, Toni, and me. I had just served them when the bell rang. Carl joined us a few seconds later. He gave Lizzie a big hug and kissed her cheek then gave me a gift. I knew what it was—a bottle of Hennessy VSOP brandy—the same present he always gave us. Lizzie and I often finished a meal with a wee dram so it was a welcome thought. 

We sat together in the den watching the Detroit Lions lose yet another football game. The atmosphere in the room was warm and friendly, but there was an obvious tension between Toni and me. It let up briefly when Lizzie asked Toni for help in the kitchen. They were gone almost a half hour until Toni returned and asked me to remove the turkey from the oven. I rose from my chair immediately, surprised at the expression on Lizzie's face when I strode into the kitchen. She told me where to put the turkey and to remove the stuffing so she could mix it with the rest. I carved the bird an hour later and we all sat at the table. 

I found the seating arrangement interesting. I was at the head with Lizzie on my left and Toni at my right. Beth was next to Toni and Carl was next to Lizzie. Finally, at the other end was David. I asked everyone to hold hands as I said the blessing. I would have sworn that I saw a quick glance exchanged between Lizzie and Toni, but I moved forward. "This is the time when I usually make up something I'm supposed to be thankful for, but not this year. We all know what I'm thankful for today...Lizzie's return. Thank you, Lord." My verbal prayer ended there, but silently I also thanked God for bringing Toni into my life. I also prayed for guidance in our relationship, provided we even had one in the future. 

It goes without saying that we all ate too much and, after cleaning up, we returned to the den to relax, talk, and watch another football game. I noticed the tension between Toni and me had seemed to be gone. I didn't understand why, but I would almost a week later. 

I was up and ready to leave for work the following Wednesday when Lizzie told me we'd have company for dinner. "Who?" 

"If I tell you it won't be a surprise. I need you to trust me. Will you do that?" 

"Of course—I'll always trust you." 

"Good," she said, reaching up to kiss my cheek. "I'll also need another promise from you." 

"What?" I admitted to being confused. 

"I'll tell you tonight when I ask you for the promise. You need to trust me. Will you?" 

"You know I will." She kissed me again and shooed me out the door. 

Work that day was a blur. I was almost always busy—most days too busy. I often laughed when I heard people ask why we needed so many administrators. With 1700 students and 156 staff to supervise I could easily use another assistant, but I knew I wouldn't get one. I rushed home at 4:30, greeting Lizzie once I was in the front door. I was surprised when she came out of the kitchen with Toni in tow. I hurried forward to hold and kiss Lizzie and to kiss Toni gently on the cheek. 

"Dinner will be early tonight, Chuck," Lizzie told me with a smile. Toni grinned, too, but I was still confused. We sat down to dinner at 5:30, roughly an hour earlier than normal. Lizzie spoke seriously once we had finished. She held out her hand for me and I took it. "Take Toni's too, Chuck." I did, holding hands with the two women I loved. 

"You know, Chuck—I thought I had considered everything when I made my DVD for you, but I realize now that I didn't. I didn't think I'd ever come back. I thought I'd spend the rest of my life in that home. Also, I never gave any thought to the idea that you'd fall in love with my surrogate." I started to demur, but Lizzie stopped me before I had two words out of my mouth. 

"Please don't deny it, Chuck. I've known from the first minute I saw you two together. It's so obvious from the way you look at each other and the way you touch. Relax...I'm not offended—not at all. I'm ready now to ask for your promise, Chuck. I want the three of us to get together regularly...dinner every Friday night...maybe the theater on Saturday, but I want all of us to get together a minimum of once a week. 

"On Fridays you and I will pick up Toni at her house and go to eat. After, you'll drop me off and spend the night at Toni's." 

"I couldn't." 

"Promise me that you will, Chuck. I'd never view it as cheating. You wouldn't have gotten together if not for me. You did and you fell in love. That's understandable, especially considering what the two of you went through. It's what I want, Chuck. I created this problem so it's up to me to resolve it. Promise me, please!" 

I took a deep breath, looking first at Lizzie and then at Toni. It was obvious that she had known what Lizzie was going to do. There was hope in her eyes—and love. I should have realized that Lizzie would figure it out. I really was between that rock and... I gave up. "Okay, I promise." 

"Good...and thank you, Chuck. Now, take Toni home. Stay there for several hours and make love with her. You're overdue." I hesitated until Lizzie rose, leaned across the table, and kissed me. "Just save a little for me when you get home." I was in the car with Toni a minute later. 

"When did you two set this up?" 

"I don't think we ever set it up, but Lizzie did tell me our love for each other was obvious when we were in the kitchen on Thanksgiving. I had no idea she would suggest this." 

"I should be furious with her, but I'm not." Looking across the console I confessed, "I've missed you terribly." 

"I know...just as much as I missed you. I plan to rip your clothes from your body as soon as we're in my house. Thank God I changed the sheets this morning." We were silent the rest of the trip, but Toni did make good on her promise. My sweater was pulled over my head and my pants never made it to the living room. We were both naked by the time we reached the hallway to the bedroom. I was as hard as granite even though Lizzie had kept her promise to make love every night. 

Toni pushed me against the bed then, kneeling, inhaled my cock in a single attempt. She stopped only when my pubic hair tickled her nose and lips. Then she teased me by slowly pulling back. "Is this what I have to expect? Teasing? Why don't you let me taste you?" I pulled back onto the bed, leading Toni with me. We kissed—oh God, what a kiss—as our tongues dueled and danced and wrestled with each other. It was a kiss to end all kisses—a kiss that the two of us had thought would never happen. 

Toni pulled back to look into my eyes. "I think I'm going to have to wait on that tasting. I need you in me...NOW!" Balancing on her two feet and her left hand she led my pulsating cock to her wetness...to her heat. Once in place she slid down me in a single stroke. "That's worth waiting for, Chuck. I only pray that I won't have to wait again." She spread her legs wide, exposing her clit to my muscles and my fingers. For now my fingers found her hard nipples; I spent the next few minutes worrying them between my fingers and pinching with my nails. 

Toni had begun a slow deep rhythm on my cock—deep because she bent low to force her naked clit into my pubic hair and musculature. Toni's eyes were closed, her back arched, and her head back in her ecstasy. I leaned forward until my lips touched hers then her eyes opened, her hands gripped my head and her mouth opened as her tongue met mine. I drove into her, no longer worried about pressing against her cervix. 

I'd love to tell you that we fucked for an hour, but you'd never believe me. Half an hour? No—we were both too excited. Truth be told, we both came in less than five minutes, although calling it "cumming" couldn't do it justice. We EXPLODED together. I know that I had never cum so hard or for so long. Toni told me later that she had felt as though she had died and gone straight to Heaven. 

"I'd love to try for another, Chuck, but I know Lizzie is waiting for you at home and I will have you all Friday night. I think I should take you and Lizzie out for breakfast Saturday morning. C'mon, let's get a shower and then I'll kiss you good-bye." That's exactly what we did—a quick shower and a long slow kiss before I drove home to my absolutely incredible wife. 

Lizzie was waiting for me in bed and she was wearing my favorite outfit—absolutely nothing. I stripped quickly, throwing my clothes onto the floor. I was in her arms as I told her how lucky I was to have her. "I must be the luckiest man in the world to have you for my wife. I love you so much." 

"As much as you love Toni?" 

I knew she was teasing me so, why not tease her back? "Hmmm...that's a tough one," then, with a huge grin, "...not! I could never love anyone as much as I love you. My love for Toni is different. We went through hell together. Seeing you every day so out of it...so unresponsive and not even knowing who I was...that was so difficult and Toni was always there for me, even at my blackest when I took out my frustrations on her body. I know it wasn't easy for you either." 

"I'm sure it was easier, Chuck—I had no control over my consciousness and I had no worries. Those were all addressed by you or the home. Damn, what a fucking awful disease. In some respects I think it's even worse than cancer." 

"I can't argue with that, but right now I have something else in mind." 

"Oh goodie, you did save something for me." I spent the next thirty minutes giving her all I had, falling deeply asleep in seconds once we were done. 

CHAPTER 11 

Lizzie, Toni, and I were inseparable from then on, going out to dinner several times a week, traveling into Manhattan to the theater, fishing once the weather was warmer, even to the Yankees several times during the season even though they both wore Mets jerseys and caps, teasing me from the second we picked up Toni until the instant we dropped Lizzie off at the house. 

I made love with Lizzie five nights a week and with Toni two although Friday nights were usually marathons that went on until three or four in the morning. My love for Lizzie and Toni grew with each passing week. That's how my incredibly delightful, but exhausting, weeks went for almost two years—right up until Lizzie had what I could only think of as a relapse. 

It was on a Saturday morning when Toni and I returned from her house, intent on taking Lizzie out for breakfast. I called out to Lizzie. What she called back terrified me. "Chuck...please help me! I can't control my hands or feet." After a quick glance at Toni I took the stairs two at a time, finding Lizzie sprawled across the bed, her bra and blouse only half-way on her body and her slacks bunched up at her ankles. I moved to her and took her into my arms. "Chuck...I couldn't fasten my bra or button my blouse. I couldn't pull my slacks up my legs. I'm scared." 

I held my love for a few more seconds before hearing Toni tell me she would help Lizzie dress. "I think you should call Dr. Thompson...tell him what happened. Go ahead, darling. I'll take care of Lizzie." I backed off, giving Toni room to work and pulled my cell from my pocket. I was put through to Dr. Thompson quickly once I gave Lizzie's name and said it was an emergency even though he was home at the time. He listened silently while I explained what Lizzie had told me then he instructed me to bring her to the University Hospital ER as soon as possible. He'd wait for us with a wheelchair and he'd make arrangements for an MRI and EEG. 

We were back in the car en route to Stony Brook three minutes later and walking through the hospital's doors less than twenty minutes after that. I had driven like a madman east on Sunrise Highway then north on Nicoll's Road and running the light for the left turn into the university. As promised, Dr. Thompson was waiting for us. He had a load of questions for me—almost as many as I had for him. He asked that I wait until Lizzie had been examined. 

I could barely sit still while waiting for the test results. Thank God I had Toni to lean on. She was my rock, holding and calming me while I cried unashamedly in the hospital lobby. It was more than two hours later that Dr. Thompson found us. He pulled up a chair in front of us. I knew it wasn't good news when he began wringing his hands. "Give it to me straight, Doctor. What's wrong with Lizzie?" 

"I...we don't know...not for sure. I'm sure you know that the human brain is more complex than the most powerful computer ever devised. I can tell you what's happening, but I can't tell you why. I don't think anyone can." He hesitated for about a minute before continuing. I suspected he was thinking of how to explain something medically complicated in language simple enough that we could understand it. 

"Elizabeth's EEG was something I've never seen before...and neither has anyone else on staff either. It shows that her brain is shutting down bit by bit. The MRI shows atrophy in some areas of the cerebellum and medulla oblongata and none of us have ever seen that before either." 

I knew that meant serious trouble for Lizzie. The cerebellum controls muscular coordination and the medulla manages all of the bodily functions that must be done automatically without conscious thought like heartbeat or breathing. "Could that be from the medicine...from the shots?" 

"It's possible. We just don't know. We were all so hopeful with this drug, especially since it's found in a normal brain all the time. Could it be the concentration-the duration of the shots? Once again we just don't know." 

"What's going to happen to her, Doctor?" He didn't reply. He didn't have to. His expression said it all—Lizzie-my dear sweet Lizzie-was dying. "How long?" 

"We don't know for sure...a month...maybe less. She's in a room now and she seems a bit better, but that's probably to be expected. She'll have good moments and bad. The bad will increase right up until the end. I'm sorry. I'll show you to her room." We rose and walked slowly to Lizzie's room, knowing that I couldn't hide the truth from her. She could read me like a book. I was a terrible poker player. 

Sure enough, Lizzie looked right through me as soon as we had entered. "That bad, eh? How long do I have, Chuck?" 

"Dr. Thompson says maybe a month...maybe less." 

"Then you need to get me out of here. If I'm going to die I want to do it at home. Toni, will you help me to dress?" She did while I went to settle the bill. Thank God I had excellent health insurance. When I got to the billing office I learned that the entire bill had been charged to the drug project. We left as soon as I could get the car. 

Toni and I helped Lizzie up the stairs to our room. Toni helped her to undress while I prepared myself to make the two phone calls I had prayed I'd never have to make. David was school at Fordham so I phoned the dean there who assured me that David could do whatever was necessary. I received the same response from the dean at Duke where Beth was now a senior. I steeled myself for the calls to our children. Needless to say they did not go well. David dropped everything to drive home. Beth made arrangements to get to the Raleigh-Durham Airport while I phoned American Airlines for a flight to LaGuardia where I would meet her while Toni stayed here with Lizzie. 




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 03



I rushed back to our bedroom to find Lizzie sitting calmly in bed with Toni sitting to one side. Both were smiling-why I didn't understand. "Come over here, will you, Chuck?" I did, sitting on the side opposite Toni with Lizzie between us. "Chuck, I'm going to need two more promises from you. Will you promise to do as I ask?" 

"Of course, Lizzie—you know I could never deny you anything." 

"Thank you, Chuck; I knew that already. The first has to do with mourning me. Promise me that you will only mourn me for two weeks. Life is for living not for pining over the dead. I could never see what good that did anyone. Do I have your promise?" 

"Yes, Lizzie...I promise," I said with a heavy heart. 

"There's a reason for that which you will soon see. Thank you, my darling. I also want you to marry Toni no more than thirty days after my funeral. I think you should ask her first, don't you?" I sat there more than a bit confused until Lizzie continued, "Go ahead, Chuck...you can ask her now." 

I looked at Lizzie then at Toni who extended her hand to me. I took it in mine, took a deep breath, and asked, "Toni, will you marry me?" 

"Yes, darling...I'd love to." 

"Well, kiss her, you fool." 

"Yes...kiss me." 

"I don't think I'll ever leave you two alone again. You've been scheming against me, haven't you?" I leaned across the bed, placing my hand behind Toni's head and pulling her in for a long deep kiss. Breaking it after a minute I told her, "I love you." and looking back to Lizzie I told her how much I loved her, too. "I couldn't believe that you loved me so much that you would give me to another after your DVD and I can't believe you're doing it again." 

"Speaking of DVD's, would you get my laptop, a blank DVD, and an envelope? Then I'd appreciate some privacy." Toni and I closed the door behind us and walked downstairs. We were halfway down when we heard Lizzie again, "Don't forget to buy her a ring—an expensive one." This was my life's biggest downer, but I couldn't suppress a chuckle. All the same, I broke down and cried like a baby for more than a half hour with Toni crying next to me as she tried unsuccessfully to soothe me. 

We sat there in silence for more than an hour until Lizzie called us back to the bedroom. "Here, Chuck—please show this at the funeral. Now, I'd like to discuss the arrangements." 

"How can you take this so calmly?" 

"What good would it do to cry hysterically? I've been dealt a bad hand. That's all there is to it. Under other circumstances I'd worry terribly about you—how you would survive after my death, but I know now that you'll be well cared for. Okay, I want..." 

David arrived about an hour later and ran up the stairs to his mother's side. I drove to LaGuardia after dinner to receive my bereft Beth. Her eyes were red from crying. I put my arm around her and kept it there until we were in the car and on our way home. 

Sunday was a somber time with only Lizzie being upbeat until she demanded we sit and listen to her. "I know you're all upset, but let's look at this a different way. What would have happened if I hadn't received the experimental drug? I would have been dead to all of you for the past two years—alive, maybe, but somewhere else where you couldn't reach me nor I you. Instead, I've spent two wonderful years with all of you. It was a completely unexpected bonus for all of us. Stop crying and let's enjoy our last days together. How about pizza for dinner?" 

We had pizza—Lizzie's favorite kind—and Chinese the following night. Tuesday night we had my famous California cheeseburgers—no onion. None of us felt much like eating Wednesday night. My dear Lizzie passed away that afternoon. She'd taken a nap after lunch and I'd found her gone when I went to wake her around four. Dr. Thompson had said 'a month...maybe less.' Lizzie hadn't lived even a week. 

I notified the police and after a brief and routine investigation Lizzie's body was taken to a local mortuary. I'd been home on personal leave so I phoned Carl to give him the bad news. It was Wednesday so Toni and I met with the director of the funeral home that evening to share Lizzie's final requests. She would be cremated prior to her wake on Friday evening and funeral Saturday morning. Her urn and a photo of the two of us would be on display, but not her body. Lizzie thought the whole ordeal would be easier if we didn't have to view her in a coffin. As bad as this mess was I had to agree. Seeing their mother laid out would be horribly difficult for David and Beth—and not much better for me, either. 

There was a big turnout Friday night from the high school. The entire staff and many of the students came to pay their respects. I wasn't at all surprised to see George and Marsha Henderson and their daughter Jackie who was now a student at a local university. Beth, David and I greeted all the visitors, with Toni remaining in the background for now. We were exhausted emotionally and physically when we left the funeral home at ten. 

We slept poorly in spite of our exhaustion, but were up early Saturday morning. It was the first time Toni and I had slept in Lizzie's and my bed. I thought at the time that Lizzie would approve, but I still found the whole thing disturbing. Toni told me she agreed. Rather than cook I took everyone out for breakfast before arriving at the funeral home by 9:15 for the funeral service at 10:00. As Lizzie had requested I began the service exactly at 10:01 by thanking everyone for coming. Our pastor talked about Lizzie's life and her illness between prayers, readings from the Bible, and several hymns. Then he sat down with us while the lights were dimmed and a large screen was lowered from the ceiling. A moment later Lizzie face appeared. 

"Hello, everyone...I'll bet you never expected to see me, did you? If you're watching this I have passed on and you're at my funeral. I have a few things to explain so none of you will criticize Chuck for what's going to happen. 

"I made several DVD's when I first became ill asking Chuck to find a surrogate for me—someone to socialize with and, yes, someone for sex. That's right—I wanted Chuck to have sexual relations with another woman." I could see Beth and David smirk out of the corner of my eye as they imagined the reactions of those who had known nothing of this. Lizzie continued a moment later. 

"If you know Chuck you also know that he always keeps his promises. I asked him to promise to do this and to bring her to meet me. I had no idea that my Alzheimer's would go into remission as it did just about two years ago. Not only did I meet this woman, but she also became my very best friend. She and I have shared Chuck for the past two years. It was the least I could do. I brought them together and it was because of that that they fell in love. Chuck has loved both of us and undoubtedly would have for the foreseeable future had I not died. 

"I have asked Chuck for two final promises—to mourn me for two weeks only before moving on with his life and to marry Toni within thirty days of this funeral. He and Toni are doing this for me...so I'll know that he will be well taken care of for the rest of his life. Toni is a wonderful, caring, and intelligent woman who I know loves Chuck as much as I do. We've spent many hours together over the past two years. 

"Chuck, I'm sure we will meet again in Heaven. Eternity is a very long time so I'm sure Toni and I will find plenty of imaginative ways to share you. Good-bye, my darling. I wouldn't trade my life with you for anything. Only one more promise, sweetheart—love and care for Toni as you have loved and cared for me. I have loved you since we first met and I will love you forever." She brought her hand to her lips and blew a kiss to me. I cried again even though I had promised Lizzie that I wouldn't. Pastor Robertson invited everyone present to Fred's Bar and Grill for a celebration of Lizzie's life. Toni, Beth, David and I followed him out the door where we met and thanked all who had come, asking them to join us at Fred's. 

The food was great and the booze flowed like water—so much that Beth who was underage had to drive us home. We slept in Sunday morning and, despite our hangovers, we all went out for a wonderful Sunday brunch. We ate plenty—omelets, boiled shrimp, prime rib, and baked Virginia ham among other things—but drank only iced tea, pausing repeatedly to toast the finest woman ever to live. 

We were in the car on the way home when Toni asked if we could meet with her parents the following Saturday. Of course, we agreed so she phoned her mother on her cell. "Hello, Mama...yes, it has been a while, but I'll explain everything next Saturday when you meet my new family. Yes, Mama—I'm getting married to a wonderful man who has two incredible children, one in college and one school. I have to go now. We'll see you Saturday afternoon. Let's go out to eat at that little Italian place you like. Make reservations for six-early enough for us to get the train home afterwards. Bye." 

"That seemed kind of rushed." 

Toni laughed. "I thought you'd notice. My parents and I don't get along too well. Hell—we don't get along at all. They pressured me into marrying Mario, my first husband. He had all the right credentials—Italian, Catholic, and owned his own business, a real estate agency. What they either missed or forgot to mention was that he was screwing several of his agents at the same time he was having sex with me. He gave me Chlamydia. I gave him the boot. A year after we split he was still philandering and wound up HIV-positive. My parents begged me not to divorce him. I would be excommunicated and they would be disgraced. My priest told me not to worry about it. He's a bit on the liberal side and he told me that adultery and giving me an STD were justifiable grounds for an annulment. 

"Anyway, things have been strained between us since." 

I never could leave well-enough alone. "I wonder what will happen when you introduce three Methodists to them." 

"I think," Toni began with a laugh, "that you're going to convert. You have a better attendance rate than most of the parishioners, not that I really care. You're plenty good enough for me—that's all I care about." She leaned across the console to kiss my cheek. We dropped Beth and David at the house so we could go ring shopping. 

I had suggested we go to a fancy jewelry store in Manhattan, but Toni nixed that idea cold. Instead we went to the diamond district. Our first stop was the Ronkonkoma Station for a round trip to Penn Station. It was a pleasant spring day so we decided to walk the thirteen blocks up Eighth Avenue to 47th Street. The diamond district was less than a half block away. We moved from stall to stall checking the merchandise until we found an engagement ring and matching wedding bands Toni loved. One of the best things about shopping here was that the price could be negotiated, but only if one paid cash. I had fifteen thousand dollars in a special sweater I'd bought for traveling. After fifteen minutes back and forth I paid $8,400 for the ring with the proviso that I could return it if an independent appraisal was for less than $12,000 and another $5,800 for the wedding bands. 

No sooner had we left the building than Toni turned, took me into her arms, and kissed me deeply for several minutes much to the amusement of several passersby. Once she broke it we began our slow walk back to Penn Station, stopping occasionally so Toni could admire her ring—the symbol of my love for her and my love for Lizzie. An hour later we were on the train back to Ronkonkoma. 

Beth couldn't wait to see the ring—a 2.5 carat solitaire in a 14-karat yellow gold setting. Toni showed Beth how her wedding band fit around the engagement ring with another 2.5 carats of small diamonds forming a ring around the larger solitaire. My band was a simple gold strip with three small diamonds. Beth loved them. She would get most of Lizzie's jewelry, but her engagement ring would go to David, hopefully for his lifetime commitment to a woman he would love as I had and still loved Lizzie. Between the stress of Lizzie's funeral and our trek in Manhattan we were too tired to cook or even go out to eat. We called out for pizza delivery. 

I was entitled to five days bereavement leave so I was covered through Wednesday. After that I planned to use two personal days although Carl had told me not to sweat it. My attendance record at work was exemplary. I had never missed even a single day in more than seven years. Toni was using vacation time—she told me she had plenty-that she had never had any reason to take time off in the past. I hoped that would change now. 

I thought it was time to discuss our future while David and Beth were here to share in the decision. After several hours we all agreed that I would sell our house and move into Toni's. It was almost as big as mine—three bedrooms vs. four, but on the same sized lot—almost a half acre. Whereas our house was still mortgaged, Toni owned hers outright—the sole benefit of her marriage to her "asshole husband"—her words, not mine. 

CHAPTER 12 

Monday was the start of an extremely busy week. I began to remove Lizzie's clothes. It was painful to be reminded of her every time I touched an article of clothing. Truthfully, this could have waited, but I wanted to do it while Beth was here so she could select any pieces she wanted. After several hours of cleaning out Lizzie's drawers and closet Beth had selected three sweaters, a Duke sweatshirt, and a small black purse that one would use for a fancy dance or the theater. Everything else went into plastic bags for Goodwill. I also began to remove my clothes to Toni's. Beth and David did the same. We were all moved in there by Wednesday. On Thursday we moved much of our furniture into storage. That afternoon we bid our final farewell to Lizzie. 

David hooked up the boat trailer to the SUV and just after four that afternoon the five of us—Beth, David, Toni, and I along with Lizzie's ashes-drove to the Captree ramp. Beth and David handed the urn with Lizzie's ashes carefully onto the boat. A few minutes later we were en route to the inlet. All of our other boating forays were high-spirited as we anticipated both the swimming or fishing and the guy-gal teasing we always did, but today the mood was somber. 

I slowed the boat once we were about a quarter mile into the ocean, turning the helm over to Toni, as Beth, David, and I moved to the stern. She kept the bow into the waves which, thankfully, weren't too big. All the same I kept an arm tightly around Beth who was having a really hard time with this. Each of us said a few words that reminded us of the wonderful woman who had been our wife and mother before sprinkling some of Lizzie's remains into the water. Once we were done I dropped the urn over the side, completing my promise to Lizzie. David, Beth, and I sobbed as we turned back to Toni. She took me into her arms as we began our slow trip not only toward land, but toward our future life together. 

Okay—that wasn't the last of my promises to Lizzie. I had one more promise to fulfill. Toni and I got our marriage license the next day. I asked her to tell me about her parents. "They're both immigrants from Genoa and they act as though they were both sorry they left even though my father has a successful florist's shop in Brooklyn. We'll pass it on the way to my parents' home. To say they were strict with me as a kid would be like describing King Kong as a big monkey. I was never allowed to date in high school and they were a big reason why I went away to college. Even then I was afraid I'd get into trouble so all I ever did was study. 

"Then I received a grant to law school—you know that I went to Columbia. I made up some story that I needed to be near campus to have access to the library and my study groups so I wouldn't have to live with them. They fixed me up with Mario as soon as I graduated. He was 'perfect' and 'a great catch' so I let them wear me down over the next year. I do have to admit the sex was good...not as good as you are, of course." 

"Of course," I interrupted with a smirk on my face. 

Toni slapped my shoulder before continuing, "You know most of the rest. I went to work for the Suffolk County DA and he went to work on his two female agents even though they were both married. He gave them Chlamydia, too and both were divorced by their husbands. He was also fucking some skanky hooker, although I don't know why. He was doing me three to four times a week and each of his work-mates at least twice. How much sex does a man need, anyway?" 

"Until recently I was getting it about ten on average." 

"You're different. You were in an unusual relationship with Lizzie and me. Of course, we didn't have to make love so often." 

"Oh...you cutting me off now that we're going to be married?" 

"Not a chance; you know that. I love having you in me. You're just what I need after a long miserable day in court." After this discussion I could understand Toni's reluctance to deal with her parents. 

We left Ronkonkoma Station at 12:37 Saturday afternoon, changing at Jamaica in Queens for a train into Brooklyn, arriving about 2:40. We followed Toni who was obviously nervous. She had my hand in a death grip. "That's my dad's shop," she explained. 

"Do they usually have flowers at home?" 

She tilted her head. "Ever hear of the shoemaker's kids?" I had—they never had decent shoes—so I suggested we stop and buy a big bouquet for her mother. Toni stayed outside as I walked in with Beth and David. "If I go in Maria will just phone my parents as soon as we leave. Why don't I stay outside?" We were only in the shop a few seconds when the clerk asked if she could help us. "Yes, I'd like a big bouquet. We're going to meet my fiancé's family and we'd like to take some flowers." She'd put together a large colorful bouquet when Beth asked if they had any baby's breath. A few minutes and fifty dollars later we were back out the door. 

"Tell Toni I approve of her choice," she called out just as we were exiting. We hadn't fooled her at all. Toni's parents lived only three blocks away in what I considered to be a typical house in Brooklyn or Queens. It was brick and narrow, but deep with a detached garage at the rear. The lot was small and the houses close together. That they took excellent care of their property was obvious. 

Beth rang the doorbell and was the first to speak when Mrs. DiNardi answered. "Hi, I'm Beth and this is my brother, David. I'm pleased to meet you." 

"Mama, this is my fiancé, Chuck. This is my mother, Julia DiNardi." We stood there for more than a minute until I asked if we could come in. Any longer and we were going to walk back to the station. I thought Toni's mom was rude and I was sure that Toni agreed with me. Still, these were my futures. Beth handed the bouquet to Mrs. DiNardi who did thank her. We went inside to meet Toni's father who was even colder toward us than her mom. 

We had been there for about a half hour that seemed more like a week when Mr. DiNardi asked what religion I was. "I'm a Methodist," was my reply. 

"I think the Antonia should marry a Catholic. Actually, she should still be with Mario." 

"Well, we all know how that worked out, don't we? Personally, I think that Toni is old enough and smart enough to make up her own mind." Then came the question Toni was dreading, but I was eagerly anticipating—how did you meet? 

"I really owe our meeting to my wife." Beth and Toni suppressed a giggle. "She had Alzheimer's and she had me promise to find a surrogate for her. You know...someone to socialize with and..." 

"Someone to have sex with," Toni finished. "Yes, Chuck and I had sex while his wife was in a home for Alzheimer's patients. She recovered and she and I shared him for almost two years until she recently passed away." 




I'd Never View it as Cheating Pt. 03



"That is disgusting. I think you should leave." 

"To be honest, sir—that's the only thing I've agreed with since we got here." I stood, holding Toni's hand tightly. "Don't worry, we can see ourselves out." I pulled Toni behind me and a few seconds later we stood in the front yard. I turned to face my wife-to-be. "I'm sorry about that, Toni. I had hoped we'd have a positive relationship with your folks." 

"You were more optimistic than I was, Chuck and you have no reason to apologize. You were a perfect gentleman which is more than I can say about my father." She reached up to kiss me even as her father looked out the picture window. 

"You knew he was watching, didn't you?" 

"Of course—my parents are the biggest busybodies I've ever met. C'mon, let's go for a walk then get a bite and head home." Toni held my hand with Beth and David following us as we walked about ten blocks to Coney Island. Even though it was only April many of the attractions were open for the weekend. We strolled on the boardwalk for more than an hour as we window shopped and fed the pigeons and sea gulls before turning back in search of the Italian restaurant where we had planned to eat dinner. 

I had to admit it was the highlight of the day. At least it was until we returned home—Toni's home, now our home. Beth and David were watching TV in the living room when Toni decided to excuse us for the night. "Have fun, you two!" Damn, but Beth was becoming just incorrigible! Toni just grinned as she pulled me into the hallway to the bedroom. 

Once there she pulled me to her for a long searing kiss. "I've had a stressful day, Chuck." Then reaching into my slacks she continued, "I need my special stress reliever." 

"I have two for you," I replied, sticking out my tongue to match my hard pulsing cock. 

"I think I'd like to try the smaller one first, if you don't mind. I have two for you, too." We were naked a few seconds later and lying on her bed, her glistening cunt just inches above my mouth. I took a deep breath, savoring her musky aroma. I always loved the way Toni smelled. Slowly, I began to kiss her silky thighs, wondering as I had done with Lizzie why this part of a woman was always so soft and smooth and sexy. I must have spent five minutes on those thighs when I moved to her core. Using the breadth of my tongue I started at her clit and licked my way all the way up to her asshole. 

I've never had any desire to lick an ass or stick my tongue into a filthy bowel, but...if I was to do it I'd do Toni's ass, for sure. Toni had narrow hips which gave her a firm round and muscular butt. Licking her just resulted in her making more of her pungent juice and after a few minutes of my treatment it was running like a river. Meanwhile she was doing one hell of a job on me. I knew I wouldn't last long so I amped up my efforts on her, fucking her tunnel until my tongue tired then sucking her clit through the tiny space between my teeth. Toni came so hard I had to release those nipples I was pinching to restrain her thrashing body. I erupted into her mouth just as she was coming down. She sucked me dry then licked me clean. 

We lay on the bed for almost a half hour as darkness enveloped the house. Living in one house as Lizzie and I did for more than twenty years had made all the environmental noises a part of our lives. Now, in Toni's house, every squeak of the floor, every car on the street, every trash can being placed at the curb was new, unusual, and even disturbing. I woke often in those early days only to fall back asleep when I felt Toni's soft smooth skin against mine. We always slept completely nude, even into our sixties and seventies. 

Toni raised her head as she placed her leg over my thigh. "Tell me about anal with Lizzie." 

"Why would you want to know about that, Toni?" 

"She asked me to promise...promise that I'd ask you about it. I want to make sure I'm taking the very best care of you." 

"I guess I'm not the only one to make promises to Lizzie. Okay, we started after she came back from the hospital. She said something about wanting me in all her holes and then one day after she'd been home about a week she told me she wanted it. She'd had two enemas while Beth and David were running some errands. It was good, but messy. There was lube all over the bed and all over us, too. The lube made everything feel smooth even though I know the anus is loaded with muscular ridges. The feeling was one of tightness more than anything else. I know that Lizzie enjoyed it—the orgasm part of it anyway. She said it was a bit uncomfortable but that she definitely wanted to do it again. We did, roughly once every two or three months and it was always something she initiated." 

"You didn't ask for it?" 

"No, I had Lizzie and I had you. That was more than enough for any man. You're more than enough for me. I think we should get to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow...the biggest." Toni lowered her head and pulled the blanket around us. We fell asleep quickly. Tomorrow was our big day. 

CHAPTER 13 

We rose early and went to the kitchen, surprised to fine Beth and David there ahead of us. "We couldn't sleep, Dad. We're nervous and excited. Toni, now that you're going to be our mother, should we call you 'Mom?'" 

"You're very sweet, Beth, but...no. 'Mom' belongs to your mother and only your mother. I'm perfectly happy with your calling me Toni. Chuck and I have talked about this and we want to remember Lizzie in our daily lives. She was a fantastic loving and giving woman. We'll have plenty of her photos around the house and, in time, we'll have plenty of your dad and me, too." I knew then, for sure, that marrying Toni was the right thing for me. 

We dressed-me in my best navy blue suit and Toni in a chic cream-colored suit with matching shoes. A close friend of Toni's—a judge in the State Supreme Court—had agreed to marry us. He and his wife arrived just before ten that wonderful morning with Carl right behind them. Toni and I stood together in the living room with David as best man and Beth as maid of honor and with Carl and the judge's wife as our witnesses. It was there that our bond became legal and binding. There was no doubt it would be "for better or worse and 'till death do us part." 

We left the house at 11:30 for The Snapper Inn on the waterfront in nearby Oakdale. We ate and drank and celebrated our union for hours until I felt guilty about taking up the table and suggested we return home. Judge Rogers and his wife, Adele, left for their home instead as did Carl, reminding me that we both had to be at work early Monday morning. 

David drove back to Fordham that afternoon just before Toni and I drove Beth to LaGuardia for her final month at Duke. Six weeks later Toni, David, and I flew into Raleigh-Durham to attend her graduation. Beth had already been hired at a hospital in Pittsburgh and she had plans to continue her studies at least until she had a Master's. 

Thus began our marriage; together, but alone as empty nesters—our children now adults elsewhere. I looked forward to getting home to be with Toni. I still remember her telling me about her first day on the job as my wife, being introduced as "The Honorable Antonia Spangler-DiNardi." We agreed that it was quite a mouthful. 

"And, speaking of mouthfuls," Toni kidded me as she undid my slacks and took me into her mouth. Following a tradition established by my wonderful Lizzie my new bride insisted on sex at least once each and every day, even during her period. We never did actually do anal. I never saw the need and I guessed at the time that she didn't either. 

That summer we finally took our honeymoon, flying to China for a three-week tour that was incredible, especially the five day cruise up the Yangtze past the Three Gorges Dam. Once on board we were able to upgrade from our tiny cabin with beds that barely qualified as twins to a suite with a king-sized bed and huge sitting room. We made love on one side of the bed and slept on the other. We still had a week off once we returned so we went fishing and—yes—Toni did continue our history of teasing and—worse—she actually out fished me almost every time. 

There was only one thing I didn't like in our relationship—monthly dinner meetings of the Bar Association. Lawyers must not only be the most boring and the cheapest people on the planet—I bought many drinks, but not one of the wealthy lawyers ever reciprocated-but the level of their conversations was barely above that found in junior high locker rooms. Comments about this woman's ass or that woman's tits made me cringe. I pulled one guy into a men's room stall when he commented about Toni's body, letting him know that he'd get the beating of his life if I ever heard anything like that again. He bolted from the room, his tail between his legs, when I released him. Toni asked me once we were home what had scared him into leaving so early. 

"I must confess...it was me. He made some crude comment about your body and I took umbrage. I hate to say this, but most lawyers are real jerks...present company excluded." 

"Unfortunately, Chuck I have to agree. It's probably why lawyers have such a rotten reputation. Unfortunately, I have to attend these meetings. I'm up for reelection in November and I need their support. You can stay home if you prefer." 

"And leave you alone to suffer their comments and groping...not a chance. Did you see that one guy copping a feel on the dance floor? I'll kill anyone who does that to you." 

Toni reached up to kiss me before whispering, "You do realize that I've been attending those meetings solo for almost twenty years, don't you?" 

"You weren't my responsibility then. You are now. I'd never allow anyone I loved to be treated like that. No, I'll be happy to fill your dance card even if my feet fall off." 

"C'mon, Sir Galahad—time for your reward." She took my hand and led me to Nirvana—my heaven on earth. 

Toni was reelected in an uncontested election. Let me take a moment to explain politics in Suffolk County. Think "CONSERVATIVE!" Almost every single elected official was a Republican. While that may have suited some in the county it also created a few problems. There was nobody to watch the store—no system of checks and balances in place. Over the past few years several officials had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar, either receiving graft in exchange for profitable contracts or downright bribery or misappropriation of funds. The newspapers had headlines almost every day about stings run by the state police or the FBI. 

Beth phoned us at least once a week telling us about her adventures on her new job or her roommates, both of whom were nurses at the hospital. She'd been on the job almost a year when she called to tell us that she had a new roommate. Something about her tone of voice was different so Toni suggested we go to visit over a long weekend. Sure enough, the door was answered by a handsome young man. "Hi, Mr. Spangler...Mrs. Spangler, I'm Gary. Beth's still in the shower. Why don't you come in and sit while we wait for her?" 

We were seated a few minutes when Gary spoke again. "Actually, Sir I'm glad to have this time with you before Beth joins us. I'd like to have her hand in marriage, with your permission. We met at the hospital where I've been an orthopedic surgeon for the past three years. I specialize in hand surgery so Beth and I have worked very closely. It was almost four months before I got up the nerve to ask her to dinner. We've been together ever since. I know that I love her more than anything and I believe that she loves me. She's told me all about your marriage with her mother and your relationship with you, Mrs. Spangler. I pray that we'll have the same kind of relationship." 

"Prayer won't give it to you, Gary. It takes hard work every day...give and take and honest communication. It takes love, of course, but these days that seems to be a cheap commodity. Everyone claims to be in love, but they're more concerned with their own happiness than that of their partner. Lizzie and I always wanted the best for each other. That's why I met Toni and it's a big part of why we're married now. I'll gladly give my approval if you're prepared for total commitment to her." We heard some noise in the hall and Beth bounded in a few seconds later. She hugged me and then Toni before depositing herself in Gary's lap. They became engaged two weeks later and, following a tradition begun by Toni and me, were married very shortly thereafter. 

David graduated in the top ten percent of his class then surprised all of us by taking employment with the FBI. He made quite a name for himself fighting organized crime. He was in his early thirties when he finally settled down, marrying a woman who had lost her husband in Afghanistan. She had two young children who loved David as much as they loved their mom. 

Toni and I worked until I reached my sixtieth birthday. By then we knew we'd have more than enough to retire on. I had earned more than enough to support Toni and me so her full salary had been invested. Additionally, we were both entitled to hefty pensions—more than $300,000 a year and our investments were more than six million. 

Toni and I took up golf in addition to fishing. We took lessons, but basically we sucked. We couldn't have cared less. We were only there to have a good time. When we weren't playing golf we were either fishing or travelling or spoiling our grandkids rotten. Once they were old enough we took them to Disney World and the other parks in the Orlando area. 

We continued our sexual practices well into our sixties then we began to slow down, making love only five days a week. We still slept naked, enjoying the sensation of skin on skin through the night. 

We had just celebrated our forty-second anniversary the week before. I was eighty-nine and Toni, eighty-six. I begged off on sex that night, telling Toni I just didn't feel right. She kissed me good-night then snuggled that still slender body against mine. I had just closed my eyes to sleep when I saw Lizzie standing right in front of me. She looked young again—about the same age as when we'd first met. 

"Welcome, my darling—I've been waiting for you." 

I looked down at my youthful body then up at my wife. "I'm dead, aren't I?" 

"Yes, darling, but you'll live forever now with me." 

"What about Toni? Will she be okay without me?" 

"She'll be extremely upset, but she'll recover long before she joins us." When I gave Lizzie a quizzical look she continued, "It'll be almost another five years before she comes to us. C'mon, I'll show you around then I think we should go to bed." 

"You mean..." 

"Of course—there's no adultery here, but married couples are free to enjoy themselves as they see fit. I've been waiting for you too long." 

"Then why don't we skip the tour and..." That was the first time in ages that I heard Lizzie laugh. I'd hear that musical laugh trillions of times over the next several billion years. Lizzie showed me to her...I guess it was her house although it looked more like a cloud. She led me in and we were naked in an instant. We made the most beautiful love for hours with neither of us ever tiring. I came twenty times that wonderful day and Lizzie came even more. 

Five years later we were standing at the edge of Heaven holding hands when my other love joined us. I lagged behind as she and Lizzie talked and talked. I knew what they were doing—planning how they were going to share me. Yes, there's incredible sex even in Heaven—sex without limits for those who truly love each other. 

***** 

Although this is a work of fiction it describes a problem that impacts far too many people and far too many families. According to the Alzheimer's Association as many as 200,000 of the more than five million Americans with Alzheimer's have the Early Onset form of the disease, many affected even in their thirties and early forties. Although research is ongoing there is currently no cure and no way to control the terrible progress of the disease. I claim no expertise on Alzheimer's so if I've made a few mistakes I apologize. Luckily, I have no relatives or friends with the disease. 

I readily admit to being a sucker for a happy ending so I invented the "miracle drug" that enabled Lizzie to return for those two wonderful years she was able to spend with Chuck and Toni. In real life there is only a downward spiral that ends in despair and death. Alzheimer's is the only cause of death in the top ten that cannot be prevented, cured, or slowed. Thanks for reading. Senorlongo