3 comments/ 5835 views/ 3 favorites I Dreamt of You Ch. 01 By: rainy_cromwell "Dreams last so long Even after you're gone" -- Jewel "You Were Meant for Me" All sexual relationships are 18 and above. **** They crept forward through the fallen home, their shoes pressing into the soggy, faintly colored carpet. They neared the bedroom whose window faced the barren street outside, creeping forward as quietly as possible when all of the sudden, a foreign noise was heard coming from the entrance of the home. The two boys glanced at each other and quickly retreated into the room, backing themselves into a closet where the younger, smaller boy was hoisted up onto the sturdy top shelf while the other boy, older and sallow with fear, hunched underneath in the moldy space below, his eyes bright with hearing. They were hidden only by the closet door. The foreign noise crept closer and the two boys realized this with a sickening twist in their abdomen. Why had they come into this rotting, dilapidated, one story home whose disheveled appearance gave no indication of a potentially positive outcome? An immeasurable fright completely took hold of the hunger that had consumed their thin bodies just a short while ago. They had thought that by leaving camp, by trying to scavenge on their own, they would find something to eat, perhaps something for the older boy's mother or father, hopefully something for themselves and be praised upon their return. They had conferred to each other in secret hiding places whilst the adults were busy, two young boys convincing the other that they had nothing to lose; death would always be their eventual end, it was just a question of when it would come. Just then, the shield of their refuge was taken down. The closet door ripped open and the older boy whose face was first revealed stared back in the most terrified horror he had ever felt. Every sensory receptor that lived in his body screamed and gripped their nails into his cells, paralyzing his bones. It was a man's face that stared back at the boy, a man with long dark hair and widened eyes. He was even more disheveled than the home and his hands, caked with earth and mud, held the closet door in his hands. The man's eyes flickered up to the top shelf, immediately finding the younger boy. The man's face, upon which first opening the closet door was riddled with an insane madness, as though expecting to find the very which thing that would kill him, now settled into its lines and just stared at them. A silence fell between the group of three and the younger boy on the shelf thought to himself that although he and Todd had decided you couldn't evade death, he really rather wished now that his death wouldn't have to be accompanied by deep pain because whatever could be construed by this man's appearance, it was wild and something wild could only result in a rabid death. The disheveled man was young, although with his current state of appearance, he didn't look it. And it was because of his crusted appearance that the two young boys were kept from realizing who they were deeply fearful of in that moment. This was not the case for the man though. "Todd," his voice croaked to the older boy and the older boy immediately took a step backwards, hitting the wall behind him, his face terrified as to how this man knew who he was. And then, moments later, his face morphed into bewildered surprise as he remembered a time three years ago. "Charlie," he exhaled. ************************* Green was a beautiful color, especially when it rained. When the water from the heavy clouds hit the fields and the forests, the green of every shard of grass and crawling moss and fern was illuminated, making it seem like an entirely different world. The green was beautiful and now, it grew everywhere. "How could you do that? How could you just leave, considering everything we've been through? How could you have been so foolish? How could you not know what the value of your lives are?" The two boys sat glumly side by side as the older boy's, Todd's mother rained down on them, her face glowering and enraged. This was a hard rain, a violent hail of words that, as the minutes went on, caused their shoulders to slump further and further closer to the ground. This was in mark contrast to the other rain which was occurring simultaneously to the thunder of words. This rain was a simple sort of drizzle, coating the world below it in light dew drops and blanketing the boys' jackets, cheerfully falling onto deer's noses and plopping off of the tips of leaves. The younger boy's mother had passed away three months ago and it was the remembrance of this that finally exhausted Todd's mother. Her name was Katharine and she closed her eyes, feeling the stress in the pit of her stomach that would never uncoil even at the sight of the return of the two boys that morning. "Please don't do that ever again, I beg of you. We need people, we can't have you dying in the woods. We'd have to send a search party out for you and what if more people were killed in the process? It would be a waste, a terrible waste," she said, shaking her head. She said this in a softer tone, however and the two boys looked up from their hunched shoulders and nodded their heads, whispering gently that they wouldn't ever dare to disobey, again. "The irresponsibility of you boys," she said to them, looking levelly into their eyes, "could kill us all." ******** By the early afternoon, his hair cut away with Molly's pair of scissors, ragged beard shorn down by Easton's snippers and mud washed away from his flesh with the creek's streaming water, the man named Charlie was no longer recognizable as the crazed face man the two small boys first set eyes upon. By becoming unrecognizable from his previous state, Charlie became recognizable. He didn't smile as the morning progressed and simply nodded at those who helped him, murmuring a thank you when he was fed. His throat was constricted, unable to speak. Naturally, he wasn't someone who chatted easily and here, the burden of possibly knowing something he didn't want to know made him even more unable to converse. Soon enough, however, the camp of approximately fifteen was on its way again. You didn't have to move when the camp started moving but if you didn't, nobody would wait for you. A few different people noticed Charlie and eyed him cautiously but most were too tired and hungry and fatigued to truly care. They trudged on, their eyes on their feet to make sure their right and left toed extremities were still moving. They wouldn't be walking far but they'd been at the camp for over a week, so it was time to distance themselves from any attention they may have brought. She saw him before he saw her. A glimpse of the profile of his face and she went slack jawed, almost tripping on a hole she would've foreseen if her mind hadn't been taken aback by the shock. But she'd always been observant, a deer amongst humans and as her friend obliviously heaved one sludge drenched boot after another beside her, she quickly returned her gaze to the scenery in front of her, trying to still herself into doing what was normal behavior for camp moving day. It was three years ago the last time Kaden saw him. She'd been innocent, naïve and genuine and in her mind, forgivable still. But now, so many days and months had passed and her innocence had worn away, she'd been used in a way that a woman tends to be used and that was just it, wasn't it. In defiance yet it had happened, she had become a woman. She and Mathilda trekked on. The drizzling had ceased and the sun peaked out overhead, causing the flesh of their backs, heavy with luggage, to stick to their clothing. Kaden's father, despite being a thin man without much stature, had been strong and would carry the brunt of their family's weight. He would grunt as he heaved their equipment onto the slant of his backside, face hard and set, as he focused on the weight of their belongings. Although others were surprised that it would be her father to die before her mother, Kaden wasn't. Her father, despite his capability of lifting large loads, wasn't strong in the name of mentality and he quickly perspired in the hopelessness that infected them all. After all, you couldn't help but be infected by it. There was just over fifteen of them and like a contagious disease, hopelessness spread easily in their person to person vicinity. It was what you did after you were infected with the bug of despair, how strong your immune system was, how clear your mind was, that decided your fate. The camp was set up after about five hours of walking. Several squirrels watched them unfurl their shelters as they nibbled on walnuts from their perch in their conifer. As they watched the people, Kaden watched the squirrels, being unable to smile when two of them got bored and shared a nut. "Did you bully him into it?" she heard an older man ask. "No, we both decided on it," a younger boy responded. "We planned it together." "He's younger than you, you're suppose to look after ones that are younger than you. I understand you were trying to do it for good reasons but I'm rather disappointed in your shortsightedness, Todd." The man paused, scratching his beard and he frowned. He looked altogether worn and defeated. "Although you did bring Charlie back," he said in a thoughtfully melancholy tone. "We brought back Charlie," the boy agreed. Kaden felt her body go rigid at the sound of his name. ********* That night, Kaden laid on the floor of the tent, her body curved into a C shape formation for containing warmth, facing Mathilda's back. Mathilda's older sister breathed heavily on the other side of Kaden's body and the heated air warmed her back, if only in just one spot. Before all the tragedies occurred, she'd always thought that one of the most soothing sounds in the world was hearing the rhythmic inhaling and exhaling of a sleeper so close to you. Their presence had soothed her and yet now, feeling like the only one awake frightened her. She was the only one on alert, the only one to hear the groaning of the tree branches and the pitter patter of rabbits as leaves crunched underneath their paws. Kaden closed her eyes, trying to conjure up a dreamland. It was her gift to herself to try to lull herself to sleep. But tonight it would be to no avail. Her dark eyes flashed open, thinking of Charlie, his face, his brown eyes that could be so gentle one moment as they shared a joke or stoic and deserted such as when another death occurred. He was so close now in some other tent. He hadn't noticed her, didn't know she was there. But he must know, didn't he, that this was where she'd last been? Kaden scoffed at herself. Hell, they hadn't even slept together! What importance would she hold in his mind? He'd had three years of who knows what of fear, of rampage, of isolation. He'd survived though. And so had she. ****************** Humans would always be their own worst enemy. They couldn't help it, it was written in their blood, in their bibles and lawful testimonies. Something good would happen and they'd find a way to bash it, picking out a clause and flaw in every piece of its woodwork. They would get sick and blame the doctor and the disease, the pollution and the improperly manufactured food and eventually, as they ran out of things to blame, they blamed those with the disease. Charlie mucked over this thoughts as he washed his arms and hands in the stream, quickly splashing water into his hair, even cracking a smile at something Easton had said. He'd always liked Easton, everyone always liked Easton. The glare of a beam of sunlight hitting the surface of the water caused Charlie to look away from his washing, the glistening rays blinding him for a moment and causing him to look down the stream into the sight of a girl's hair tucked behind her ear, an ear whose tip was pink from the morning cold. She turned, surprised to find him looking at her. Then, a slight, sad smile from her greeted his obvious stare. She didn't walk towards him, he'd never have expected her to and she turned away to quickly finish her washing while the girl beside her, a red-head, continued to chat away obliviously. He felt the warmth of someone else's eyes and he raised his head away from the sight of Kaden, finding an expression of torn nostalgia on Easton's weathered face. Easton, however, didn't say anything to him and so Charlie didn't bother to ask. He already presumed to know what the older man would want to say. The small ripples in the water lapped at his hands, the coolness of the temperature wrapping around his fingers. He had wondered if she was still alive and had had numerous and continuous nightmares about the possibility of encountering her in the woods as one of the infected. If that had really occurred, Charlie would've had to puncture her brain in order to protect himself. He used to be unable to bear the thought, roaring at the fact that he didn't know the unknown and would be hunched over and shaking like the madman he had truly become in the middle of the woods. The loss of her meant the loss of his hope, the loss of living life as more than just survival. It had been one of the reasons he'd been scared to actively search for his old camp after that day in early December -- he didn't want to know in case she had been lost. The remembrance of her smile, crookedly teasing him or the angles of her bones as she elbowed him after Mrs. Tenbow scolded him on his lack of conversation at the dinner table, all his memories of her made him never want to face the prospect of reality. Yet when he saw Todd's face back in that old ramshackle house, the slack had gone out of his muscles. It had been three years. Physically, when it came down to food and water, he'd be able to survive and go on but emotionally, the isolation was crippling. Even though he'd always been the quiet sort, he was also human and needed the presence of others. And now he saw her alive, her dark hair tucked behind one pale ear. He knew from her sad smile that she hadn't survived unscathed. No one had in these conditions. But her brain was still hers, her heart still beat and her hands were warmer than the walking dead's. There were differences about her -- her hair was shorter than before, though still past her shoulders, and she was thinner, her clothes hanging off of her more. But she was still the pretty girl he'd noticed three and a half years ago when they first met, still the girl who caught his eye. *********** "Seriously, I'm reverting to caveman status. Or cavewoman status. No one ever talks about having to shit behind a tree or how hairy your legs get. I'm turning into a monkey-girl! I guess all sexuality goes out the window when it's the end of the world." Kaden smiled at her friend's grumbling. It reminded her of the times before everything happened, when the gossiping and laughing of girls was typical and an everyday occurrence. It was true that she would die for a hot shower or a razor blade more often. She remembered a great line from the Diary of Bridget Jones about how if Bridget never put any work into her appearance -- i.e. waxing, shaving, plucking -- she would turn into a cavewoman running amok and now Mathilda was solid proof of it. Whenever the camp stumbled upon a town, she and Mathilda, giggling to themselves, would go to the drug store to dreg up women's essentials, such as razors, tampons, hairbrushes, shampoo and the like. It was a way to pass the days, to return some normalcy into their lives, which no longer allowed the luxury of these things on a usual basis. They had to be careful of course, especially in the towns. There were more places to hide for the infected, more dark corners and rooms, upon which they could roam out and with surprising strength get a hold of you and bite your flesh in less than thirty seconds. All it took was a mere moment and you were one of them -- a zombie, the walking dead, the infected, the plagued, the gone, them. Whatever you wanted to call them, they were everywhere. It had been three and a half years since the real panic began and the infection truly spread. However, it'd been four years since the first outbreak although as governments do, nobody took it seriously at first. The outbreak began in a third world country (as many outbreaks do due to the overpopulation, unsanitized water, lack of efficient waste removal, amongst other variables) and even when the doctors there tried to alert officials, it was quieted down immediately or even ignored. These doctors were labeled as just being spiritual nuts because of the biblical premonition of the dead reanimating. However, there came a point when the truth was realized and as often occurs in history, that point came too late. Kaden did not know how many people remained on the planet. People had been talking of this sort of thing happening for years. Resources were running evermore sparse, wars were breaking out, not due to oil or economics but due to lack of water, of food. The human population was reaching almost twenty billion. The planet could only sustain so much. Ecology has a curve: the population goes up too high with any species, something will happen to bring it down again. The black plague, yellow fever, thunder struck fires in the plains, these were all things to keep a population in check, be it human or grassland. "It's not the end of the world," Kaden reminded Mathilda. "Maybe it is for us but not for the planet." Mathilda, red hair glinting in the sunlight, grunted. "What promising information you give me all the time." "Well, I've got to keep you positive," Kaden said to her friend. Without Mathilda, Kaden would have been become a completely different person. She knew this and so was eternally grateful for the meeting of the two of them. Before, she'd been forlorn, neither surly nor cheerful, neither happy nor sad and had lived her life with a slight despondency and vacancy. She'd had friends, even a supposed best friend but no one came close to Mathilda. Mathilda brought out the laughter in Kaden, she brought out the life in her. "Oh, my God, Kaden," her friend suddenly said, grabbing her arm so tight that Kaden's hand immediately flew to her back pocket where she held her knife. Kaden looked around, trying to spot the infected being but instead, saw Charlie walking with Alanna, the daughter of an engineer who set up their tent next to Mathilda's. "It's Charlie!" Mathilda hissed. Kaden could feel Mathilda's pulse thumping into the ground it was so loud. Her friend whipped her head towards Kaden, her face incredulous in disbelief. Kaden sighed wearily. "I know." "What?! You knew he was here?" Mathilda's face was verging on becoming the same color as her hair. Kaden shifted uncomfortably. "Since yesterday. We haven't spoken or anything," she answered. "Why is he walking with Alanna? God, freaking zombies are walking the earth and still all she wants is attention from guys." Kaden couldn't help but wonder the same thing. Why was he walking with her? Alanna was certainly a pretty girl -- blonde, lean and freckled -- and although Kaden knew she wasn't horrible looking either, she still felt a stab of envy and hurt from the sight of them together. "Kaden... are you alright?" She looked up at her friend's words. Mathilda's tone was apprehensive, gentle, worried. "I know... I know you two cared for each other." That was an understatement and both girls knew it. Charlie had held her all night, every night, after her mother died, his arm hooked around her waist, his body protecting hers. He would kiss the top of her head or the back of her neck and her cheeks when she cried. He was the one who ran the stake through her mother's brain after she was bitten. He was the one who fell to his knees with Kaden after she saw it happen, his eyes so carefully watching her crumpled form, never taking those brown eyes off of her. I Dreamt of You Ch. 01 Despite the fact that Mathilda and she were incredibly close, they hardly ever discussed the aspects of more difficult things. Once they emerged from the darkness, they would laugh again about the need to shave their legs or would cut each other's hair with new techniques they'd created themselves. In addition to that, Mathilda was having relations with a boy named Carson Mathers, another inhabitant of their camp, and when one is lost in that heavenly state of love, it is hard to understand the pain of another's loss. "We'll just see what happens, I guess," Kaden replied, not knowing what to say. ******** Charlie ate his bowl of slop ungrudgingly. He was hungry, he was always hungry, everyone was. This was a decent sized camp, there being almost fifteen people and the members had decided back when Charlie was still a part of it three years ago that everyone would pitch in to make one big meal, rather than separate groups making separate meals. They did this in hopes to make it fairer and evenly distributed. However, he distinctly remembered his parents muttering that they ought to break loose because rationing for the fifteen people was not an easy feat in the slightest. His older brother was always quick to remind them thought that on the other hand, fifteen people could find more food than just them and so they still stayed, despite the constant complaints. Todd and Harry, his friend, the little one who had hidden in the top shelf of the closet he'd found them in, were sitting beside him. They ate quietly except for a few murmurs, which were probably about some more mischief they were going to find themselves in. They were kids but they lived in a world completely unlike anything any of them had known. It was free of school, television, internet. The goal his teachers and parents had told him to reach for was a good education, a stable, well-paying career, a nice house, a wife, children, retirement plants, were all things Todd and Harry were growing up without. Sure, there was the possibility that survivors would round together, that a solution would be found, whether it be by a cure or mass murder of the infected, and that some semblance of a community would be created so kids like Todd and Harry could somehow also have a future like Charlie had expected to have for himself. On his other side, Todd's mother Katharine settled herself down next to Charlie, letting out a long exhale. She'd spent the day cooking and finally got to eat herself. Before the infection, she'd actually been to culinary school, although she joked that she never thought back then that later on finding a can of beans would be like finding the most prized truffle in all the land. "How is it being back?" she asked him. "It's not bad," he said. There was a silence between them, he knew she probably wanted him to go on but when he didn't he could feel her smiling. "You were always the talker," Katharine said to him. He smiled crookedly. "I know." "I taught Kaden how to kill a rabbit. She was not happy about it, not at all," she reminisced, letting out a laugh. At the sound of her name, Charlie's body yearned for her. He wanted to find her immediately and wrap himself around her like he used to, smell her hair, hold her close to him. He wanted to see her face close up, he wanted to hear her voice whispering in his ear. His throat constricted with the sudden gasping need to be around her. But he kept himself still yet relaxed, not wanting anyone to know what he was thinking. He nodded as he poured down the remaining slop down his esophagus. "She always liked animals," he finally replied. "Yes she did," Katharine said gently, watching him as he stood, his long limbs stretching up in front of her, walking away. ************ "He's staying in Todd and Harry's tent. Well, that makes sense. Katharine and Tom knew him and his family." Mathilda paced back and forth in front of the tent, revealing her newly found information while Kaden watched her out of one eye as she tried to knit a scarf. Kaden's mother had been big on arts and crafts and was talented too whereas Kaden had never had any interest and now her scarf was suffering greatly from it. One of the other women, Lindsay, had been trying to teach her and although she understood the gist of it, her knots just wasn't as precise and clean as her mother's. "Uh huh," she said. "Don't you want to know about this? Oh god, Carson's walking over here. Do I look alright? No, of course I don't. I'm a cavewoman. Shit, fuck, oh hell." Mathilda continued her roll of expletives until Carson made his way over to their tent and she shut up, smiling angelically and nervously at the same time. "Hi Kaden." "Hi Carson." She needn't have said anything. Before she could even look up again, they were both gone. Well that was quicker than usual, Kaden murmured to herself, sighing. She knew that sooner rather than later, her friend wouldn't be around as often. Soon enough, Mathilda and Carson would have their own tent and no longer would it be Kaden and Mathilda but it'd be Mathilda and Carson. Their camp consisted of a wide age range, from five years old to a couple in their fifties and there were a few men who had approached Kaden. Some her age, some older, even little Todd had quietly called her beautiful one day. One man in particular, Elias, had held her hand as they walked their miles to another camp and they'd even had sex in his gray, soft tent; he had been her first. But no matter how hard she tried, she'd been unable to muster any love for him. She didn't even know if Charlie was alive, hell, she knew most likely he wasn't but she would still picture his solemn face, dark eyes and messy brown hair, a five o'clock shadow ever present on his pale skin. She truly did try to convince herself to love Elias since he told her he loved her but she couldn't manage it. There was some part of her that didn't trust him fully and so she couldn't give herself to him fully. The more she tried, the more detached she felt. Yet Elias had taught her a few things and it was through him that she stopped feeling like a pining girl and more like a woman who understood her sexuality. Kaden almost blushed at the thought. But it was true, at least it was more true than when she had last known Charlie. She wasn't a seductress by any means but she wasn't naïve anymore, not like she used to be. Suddenly, she felt someone plop down on the pop up camp chair beside her that Mathilda or Mathilda's older sister usually sat in. In disbelief, she saw it was Charlie. But he wasn't looking at her surprised face or any part of her. He sat in the withering yellow camp chair, back bent over so his elbows rested on his lanky limbs and his face stared out into the horizon, unreadable. His dark hair was mussed and unkempt, his nose straight lined and cheeks hollow. He was so handsome it took her breath away. Then he exhaled slowly and turned to her. His eyes met hers for the briefest of moments before they rested on her growing scarf. "That's a terrible scarf." Kaden blinked, taken by such surprise she was speechless for a moment. "I'd like to see you do better." She was amazed she'd been able to even come up with that. Thank you, brain, she thought to herself, for not being rendered completely useless. Charlie grinned. It was a lopsided grin that made him seem boyish and youthful. "I didn't say I could make a better scarf, only that that one is not so good." "Shut up." Okay, brain, you could've done a little better that time. "Shut up?" he asked. "Yes." Charlie stared at her deadset right into her eyes. "Okay," he said. Kaden was struck by the situation. Her knitting tools were still clutched in her hands and her lips were parted open in shock yet he still continued to stare at her, not saying a word. Her mind was working a mile a minute yet it also wasn't working at all. She wanted to say a thousand things to him, that she thought him dead or gone, that she missed him, she'd thought of him so often, she wanted to know what happened to him, she wanted to know how he survived on his own or had he survived on his own, were there others, too. She wanted to know everything. Yet her mouth wouldn't cooperate. She was torn between saying the right thing or spilling her guts. Perhaps to him, she'd just been a friend, someone he'd taken care of in a time of need and this was him just coming by to say hello. But for her, he meant so much more. "I heard you killed a rabbit," he said, breaking the silence. Kaden breathed out from relief or sadness, she didn't know. She didn't understand why he was lightly bantering but this was a far cry better than not talking to him at all. "It was horrible," she told him. "He thought so too," he said, his eyes leveling to hers while his tone was heavy and not joking, implying something greater than what he was saying. She looked at him, searching his face for answers. "Oh, hey Charlie!" came a voice out of nowhere and both of them turned their heads to see Alanna smiling widely. Not for the first time, Kaden was irked by the fact Alanna and her father set up their tent so close to Mathilda's. Alanna had come after that day in early December though and so she didn't know of the history behind Kaden and Charlie. Brazenly, she stepped forward to them. "Do you mind if I steal Charlie from you for a bit? My father's asking for help with setting up his radio and he needs someone to trek up a tree for him and I think you're far more adept than measly me." She flashed her smile again, shifting her weight to her other foot. "Go," Kaden whispered to Charlie and he looked at her, confused. She smiled weakly at him. "Radio is needed." He nodded and stood up. "Okay, where is he?" he asked Alanna. Kaden watched the two of them walk away, Charlie's tall, lanky build beside Alanna's lean, athletic one, the pain in her chest grasping tighter and tighter. ********** The world had turned to chaos but it wasn't as quickly as one would have imagined. There were a few people who made an early departure to deserted cabins up in Canada with full stacks of food and these guys were the people who wanted to be safe rather than sorry. Most of the others, after hearing of supposed scares like AIDS, swine flu, bird flu, SARS, were far more reluctant. The media always built things up after all, everyone thought they would once again be fine once this disease ran its course. Eventually, though, everyone realized what it truly was. The president appeared solemnly on live television that appeared on every channel. He'd cleared his throat, shuffled his papers and declared it a pandemic. That was when people flipped out, which was understandable given the premonition of the walking dead, of this disease that not only killed but brought your body back to life to kill others. People began looting, shooting, stealing. Charlie's parents called him back from school and told him about Mrs. Tenbow, a woman in their neighborhood who was organizing a group to stick together in one big house, this being her mansion, because the government wasn't doing near enough. The more people they had on guard, the better. Most people in their district heard Mrs. Tenbow's idea and spat at it, finding it ludicrous. No, they would stay in their homes safe and sound thank you very much. But Charlie's parents had been sold on the idea. They were older, more frail and Charlie's older brother had been sick for awhile. They stood no chance against the mindless, strong infected. "Please Charlie, come with us. You're young, you'll be so useful," his mother had told him. His ivy league school was already closing down. He didn't like the idea of sharing living quarters with a bunch of people he didn't know but this was his family's best shot at survival. Hopefully, these people weren't lunatics. Mrs. Tenbow ended up being surprisingly strong-willed and direct. She wasn't a nutcase, nor dimwitted, she was efficient and had everyone installing steel bars into every potential window. Although some may have labeled her as being exceptionally generous for giving those around her a place to stay, most saw through it. She was a woman in her sixties and although she had a fighting spirit, her sprawling mansion was easy prey to the walking dead. They could have infiltrated the home easily had it not been for the efforts of the others she brought in to put the steel bars up, to garner all of the locks, to set up cameras around the "fortress." This was where he first met Kaden, the dark haired girl who caught him staring at her. She'd looked back at him, their eyes meeting fleetingly and then just as quickly she flickered her eyes elsewhere, turning to hide her face. And now it'd been three and a half years since then. The Tenbow residence, although first appearing seemingly bulletproof, ripped to pieces when one of the men, who had snuck out to check on his parents to see if they were alright, returned with a bite. He had hidden his infection for two days before screams were heard in the night -- he had bitten his family after dying and reanimating. They killed the initial man but didn't know what to do with his family, two daughters and his wife. They were bitten, obviously infected yet they hadn't died yet. The community decided to wait it out until they died as well, to finish them off. They should have had more people guarding them but they didn't. When the girls and their mother reanimated, they tore their guards to pieces. The night was a blur. It gave him a headache to think about it. After Charlie had helped Alanna's father, he sat outside his tent, despite the darkening hour and everyone else already being inside. He listened to the quiet of the night, the chirping of the frogs and crickets and thought of Kaden's face, of having been so close to her. He had wanted to see her smile, it had been so long since he'd seen that. A smile lit up Kaden's face so brightly, it touched every corner of her mouth and eyes, skin and cheeks. In every zombie whose path he crossed back in the deep of the woods, in every zombie that was discernible as a woman, he wondered if it was her. He wondered if he'd never see her smile again. He'd wondered if all he'd ever hear from her was the guttural moan and groan of a zombie. After they had had to flee the Tenbow home, they found their way to a campsite right on the edge of Hannigan Forest. It was a well known destination spot for those who had to run for their lives during this time. His parents and his older brother had been gaunt faced, wheezing and utterly out of breath. Their faces were ashen yet it was his older brother, William who didn't look distressed or panicked. William had been sick since he was a child. His immune system had been compromised as a baby and he was constantly getting pneumonia and asthma attacks. He was thin enough to be considered emaciated and was therefore always considered weak by others. But it was this night that his older brother reached out to place his knobby, bony arm onto Charlie's shoulders. "Go find her," he'd told him. "We'll be okay." Charlie had never been the football star back in school. He was intelligent and tall, he liked books. He played soccer, enough to give him lean muscle but not enough to want to pursue it. He was quiet and solemn, he thought before he spoke, he was not the hero who went out to go find the girl with the dark hair when there were so many people out there that needed saving. But that night he became that person. It was a miracle he'd even found Kaden's family at all. Well, at first he'd found her father, a man he'd never liked very much to begin with and Charlie nearly shook him to death asking him where his daughter was. The man finally answered that they were separated a few blocks down when they nearly ran into a whole herd of "zombie shits." When he found her, back pressed up against the wall in silent fear as she tried to ease her way slowly away from a small group of the infected, he didn't hug her or say anything. He grabbed her and luckily for them, they found her mother, as well in close proximity. He returned them to the camp in Hannigan's field where he departed from the two women without saying anything. He could feel their questioning faces but he thought it better not to stay there with them. Better to look like he was just a guy hell bent on making sure people were safe. He'd never been good with showing his emotions. His parents were both scientists and although they were both kind hearted, they were also straight laced as they came. Charlie didn't believe he'd ever heard the words "I love you" uttered from their mouths or a hug come forth from their arms. It was Will who, in spite of his constant frail, fragile status was the light of their family -- a beacon of smiles and assurances. It was even present in their appearances: while Will was a blonde, albeit a dark blonde, with light hazel eyes, Charlie was the dark haired, dark eyed lanky son who barely spoke. Charlie's teachers used to frown at Charlie's demeanor yet they couldn't deny his intelligence. He had friends, even a best friend and there were a few girls he went out with or who threw their attentions towards him but nothing could have ever been said to equate to love. Loneliness, sure, but love was a different matter. Charlie shook his head at himself outside of the tent he shared with the two youngsters. The blackness of the night was fully enveloping everything now, coloring in every last inch of the earth. A few stars twinkled above far in the north but most of the sky was blanketed with heavy, furling clouds, signaling the potential pour of rain tomorrow. He grimaced. Wet clothes were never something he was fond of. ************ "She's walking around with no clothes on," grumbled Kaden after peering out of their tent to see how hard the rain was coming down, only to be greeted by a barely clothed Alanna, who was "helping Katharine tend today's meal" when in actuality, she was trying to make eyes at Charlie. For some women, Kaden knew, their life was about how many men they could draw into their lives. It was what fed them, gave them worth, meaning, validation. The more attention, the better. With these sorts of women, Kaden often wondered what would happen as they aged and hit their fifties or sixties, ages upon which there would be far less men clamoring after them. Mathilda's older sister Beth giggled, as Mathilda rolled her eyes. "Hopefully she catches cold and dies." "Mathilda!" Beth scolded yet a glint in her eye still remained. Alanna had certainly had her fair share of men but there seemed to be something else in her interactions with Charlie. She seemed to actually like him. She'd blush around him or watch him as he ate his dinner, biting her lip unthinkingly. Kaden felt glum at the thought. Suddenly someone was zipping down the front of their tent and Todd's father Tom stuck his head through, his face panicked and stricken. "Kaden, please, Todd is ill." His voice was strained and desperate and Kaden didn't even bother to put on shoes or a jacket as she sped after him towards the young boy's tent. She found Todd laying flat on his back, wheezing. Puffy, pink hives covered his body head to toe and his throat was swollen, keeping the sharpness of his adam's apple hardly visible. Kaden had been a nursing student right as the outbreak hit and although her school closed down before she'd been able to finish, she remembered a thing or two. The young boy was going into anaphylactic shock and she needed either a beta agonist or an EpiPen to release epinephrine into the boy's bloodstream. As fast she could while still properly reading the labels, she rummaged through the duffel bag of medication their camp had thrown together for times such as these. Katharine and Tom had obviously regained the bag for her to find something in, and she thanked her lucky stars when she found an EpiPen. Steadily, she injected it into the young boy, whose breathing had been steadily decreasing due to his bronchial constriction while her own heart raced. Anaphylactic shock could result in death if she didn't have the proper medication. During shock, all of your blood vessels dilate and the body just doesn't have enough blood to compensate. I Dreamt of You Ch. 01 She lowered herself to listen to his heart. It was becoming steadier, more even. When she looked up, she saw the gaunt, white faces of Katharine and Tom staring back at her. Their bodies were stiff with fear and worry. "He'll be okay," she told them. "He must've gotten into something he was allergic to -- some food or bug bite. We need to keep watch over him though to make sure he's in the clear and doesn't need another shot." Kaden frowned into the medical bag. "We should try to get more medication." Katharine and Tom hardly heard her last sentence. They both breathed out a sigh of relief, as they scooted closer to their son, their eyes moist. "We were playing with bugs," came a tiny voice from the front of the tent. Kaden turned around to see Harry's tiny frame halfway into the tent. He was staring at his feet, cheeks bright red, tears streaming down his face. "We-we were playing with em' weird lookin' buggins and one-one of em' bit im' right in the hand. To-Todd yelled, things seemed okay for a second but then..." Harry trailed off, hiccupping. Katharine's face softened. "Come here, buddy, come here. It ain't nothing to be worried about." She looked down at his feet. "But take off them muddy shoes first though." Kaden smiled before realizing how drenched her clothes were just from the sprint to Todd's tent and how muddy her own feet were since she hadn't even bothered to put on shoes. "Oh God, I'm sorry," she said, jumping to her feet, realizing she'd made the tent floor dirtier. "I'll clean it up right away." Katharine gave her a look, one that said you wouldn't dare even think of it. She told the girl, "Go get some warm clothes. I couldn't be more thankful, sweetheart." She motioned that she'd get up to give her a hug but Harry was already in the process of filling that spot. Kaden smiled, lifting a hand to wave goodbye to the two parents and then stepped out of the tent, exhaling as she stepped outside. "He's okay, I take it," came a deep voice to her left. She jumped and saw Charlie crouched on a log near the tent. "Yeah, he is hopefully. We'll have to keep an eye on him though." They were quiet. The rain had let up and now just drizzled onto her nose. She couldn't see his face, he was looking down at the ground. "Please come here," he said, his voice so quiet she wasn't sure she heard correctly. In case she had, Kaden stepped closer to him, her toes curling into the mud. She'd need a helluva rinse before she could step back into her own tent. Charlie looked up at her, squinting from having been looking down. He took her hands into his, both of their hands were cold and he led her closer to him so his face was level with her stomach. Her heart was beating so hard that the light fabric of her sweater moved up and down along with it. Then, he let go of her hands and stood, becoming so much taller than her in that one motion. He wrapped his strong, lean arms around her thin shoulders, holding her tightly, his face buried into her dark hair. Silently, she sobbed. They didn't say anything. They didn't say a word. ********** "Make sure he stays safe as an alleycat -- surrounded by dangers but smart as a whip," Todd's mother Katharine told little Harry. The little boy nodded, wide eyed as Todd rolled his eyes. At fourteen years old, he still felt he was invincible. They were on their longest journey yet now. After three years of failed equipment, of radios that might work but didn't pick up anything, Alanna's father had screamed with disbelief when finally his beloved antenna picked up on a radio station. It was broadcasting the destination of a huge refugee camp the government had set up -- a camp that was three states away from their current location. Kaden quickly tied her hair back into a braid and walked through a vast field alongside Mathilda. The group didn't talk while they trekked, they were quiet and thoughtful. This time, they were making their way toward town to see if they could get any cars. Before they had no use for them since it seemed the world had fallen apart and there would be nowhere to go. She'd thought that after their embrace, Charlie would be talking to her more but he was hardly paying her mind. He was walking next to Katharine and Tom though and not Alanna, so that realization made her feel a tiny bit better. That night, they hadn't found a town yet and so they scouted the area and set up camp. They rose quickly the next morning and continued this same routine for three days, growing more and more weaker until they finally fell upon a small but decent sized downtown area. There were four or five dead-walkers roaming aimlessly around the main road and it was decided that only a few would go in while the others waited on the outskirts. Needing medicine, it was decided Kaden would join a group of four men and one other women. Much to her chagrin, the group of men included Elias and Charlie. It was hard to break it off with someone you saw all of the time, especially in a predicament like this. Elias didn't understand. After all, it was the end of the world, it wasn't as if their schedules didn't match or there was someone else (at least not to Elias's knowledge), they got along decently enough and so why did she want to stop? But he was nice enough to back off and act cordial, if cold, to her. To save time, Anthony, one of the men, decided it would be Easton and Kaden to go into the store pharmacy. Charlie opened his mouth, about to say something but Easton murmured under his breath, "Don't worry, I've gotten better with the knife." Kaden pretended like she hadn't heard. The group set off in different ways. Despite Easton being a talker, he remained silent, both of them on alert. They crept up the steps to the pharmacy and Easton held her back, indicating he'd be going in first. He gave her a crooked smile. "You're the goods here," he told her. After a few minutes, she heard the toppling of one, then two, then three corpses and Easton returned out on the porch, motioning her inside. His knife was covered in dark blood. While Easton kept guard, Kaden scanned the aisles, grabbing everything she needed from the over the counter areas. The precious medication would be behind the counter though and she went as quickly as she could, stuffing prescription bottle after prescription bottle into her duffel bag. She'd been pouring over her nurse's medical book since their talk of going into town, trying to locate and highlight the necessities for future potential complications. She'd memorized what was most important and made a list of optional medication. This was a small town pharmacy though and wouldn't have anywhere close to what she'd like to have. Antibiotics were the most dire and she grabbed all they had -- the doxycycline, penicillin, azithromycin, tetracycline -- and then wished desperately that pharmacies contained streptokinase or TPA, which would cause the destruction of clots in case of a heart attack or stroke. But these meds remained in hospitals, not pharmacies and going into a hospital, the very site upon which thousands of millions had died and reanimated, would never be an option. Amongst other medications, she grabbed all they had of prednisone, a steroid that worked wonders for allergic reactions, asthma attacks and breathing complications. "Kaden, we've got to go. There are more and more coming," came Easton's voice suddenly. Alarmed, she hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and dashed toward the front entrance where Easton was craning his neck out the door to gather what was going on around the circumference of the shop. Kaden also peered outside and saw a few "goners" (this was a common slang name for the infected) in front of the shop and at first, thought it would be no problem. However, as she peered further out the window, she saw a mass of them in the distance, not yet close enough but not yet far enough either. The rest of the group on the outskirts probably hadn't yet see them coming. Faintly, Kaden heard the sound of an engine revving, meaning the others had found an automobile, hopefully more than one. Logically, they would go to the ones on the outskirts first since they had nowhere to hide, they were out in the open and there were more of them that needed to be saved. Coming to the pharmacy with a loud vehicle would only cause the goners to head even more directly for the town. Easton and Kaden could try to hide and perhaps if they were quiet enough, could outlast the herd of goners as they passed through. "Go where?" she whispered yet Easton didn't have time to respond. A black, mud-stained Jeep sped towards the pharmacy and the few goners who were already in the street turned their heads towards the noise, changing their prior sense of direction to head towards them. The two of them ran towards the Jeep, opening the door and crashing into the seats. The goners were already scratching at the sides of the doors, their dead faces emotionless and vacant apparent in the tinted windows. Charlie sat grim faced in the driver's seat, hands poised on the steering wheel, and then sped away towards the group. Behind them, the mass was steadily making its way towards them, towards the noise. It looked like they had found two other cars, a truck and a van that had already picked everyone up and was now waiting for Charlie's return. Without anyone getting out, the three vehicles simply raised an arm out the window in salutation and thus began their trek north. ************ That nightfall, most of the group slept inside of the cars although Easton, always the trooper, and his wife, whom everyone also equally adored, slept in a tent so that others had room. Four could fit in the Jeep and with the doors locked and their plush duvets that they'd had to use in their tents for so long, it was the safest anyone had felt in a long time. Charlie slept across from Kaden in the reclined driver's seat while she lay in the reclined passenger seat. Lindsay and Anthony slept in the back. She felt safe but she also felt strange. Like the others, she'd had her own routine of life: that of going to school, eating dinner with her parents, studying on days she'd rather not be studying. For three years her life had been one of fear, one of despair, one of not ever knowing what was going to happen. But she reminded herself of the refugee camp, of the possibility it could restore. She wanted to believe her life wouldn't just consume of fleeing. Fleeing wasn't productive to building anything. All it did was keep you alive, although that was certainly a prized possession, as well. Feeling eyes on her, she turned and saw Charlie watching her. They were barely illuminated in the moonlight but still she could see his handsome features. He smiled at her, a small smile that didn't show his teeth. She returned a sad smile in return and then he turned away, closing his eyes. She didn't know what to feel from that gesture, sadder or happier, she didn't know. ******** They reached the refugee camp in the north in two days. At one point, they could only accumulate enough gas for the truck and the Jeep and so those in the van, which had been able to hold the most people, had to ride in the back of the truck with all of the equipment that had once ridden on all of their backs as they traveled across fields and towns. Kaden and Charlie both opted for the uncomfortable back of the truck to allow those who had already been sitting in it time to sit in a real chair. He kept laughing at her as her hair flew around her face, no matter how many times she tried to tie it back. The refugee camp was huge, careening a large border whose soldiers walked the length of, rifles and other assorted weapons in tow. Someone spotted them and almost immediately, a representative came forth on the other side of their cage. Was it them who was in the cage because it was they who were with the zombies or was it them in their enclosure safe from the infected dead? Who was considered inside and who was considered outside? They had a whole system of checking everyone out to see if they were infected. Doctors were issued to check their state of health in a rather demoralizing way. They were asked to strip naked and every inch of them was to be examined for bites or other potential infections. When it was Kaden's turn, her cheeks burned and her breaths were shallow. Although she knew her group was respectful, there would always be someone glancing or looking. She had lost a lot of weight, how could anyone not? Elias had once traced her spine, joking that soon enough everyone would look like reptiles with their bumpy, spiny backs. Charlie wasn't far after her but contrary to her, he stood with a straight back, at ease with himself. He, too, was far thinner though and she couldn't help but look at him out of the corner of her eye. He had a farmer's tan yet it rippled throughout his lean muscles. Having only had to feed himself for three years and seemingly having been adept at it, too, he didn't look as emaciated as some of their other group members. However, to their shock, it was found that a quieter man in their group, a man named Reynolds who had always pulled his weight for the camp, was infected. It appeared it had happened when they were searching for cars but he hadn't said anything. It'd been three days since the event and they all noticed him looking a little ill but he had shrugged it off well. Upon seeing his infection, Lindsay screamed at him. "You could've killed us all! We worked so hard and you could've been our damnation!" Everyone stared at her and Reynolds, whose face was so ill and pained it radiated into everyone's sympathy. Lindsay's husband, Anthony, placed his hand on her shoulder firmly. Under his breath, he said, "Think of how he feels. He's going to die, Lindsay. Have some goddamn respect." She whipped her head around to glare at him but he wouldn't have any of it. Eventually, she just sighed and the scanning process returned to normal orders. On their way out, she saw Easton grip him in a tight hug. Reynolds didn't cross the barrier with them. Next they were assigned different housing areas. The housing officer told them to make sure they wrote who their family was so they knew to keep them together. The camp was so large that it could span over an hour to cross one side to another with a car. Kaden wrote down her logistics and noticed Charlie standing behind her. She raised her eyebrows at him. "We're not getting separated," he said matter-of-factly, not even looking at her. "Write it down on your paper." She saw Alanna staring at them out of the corner of her eyes. Kaden felt a flutter in her stomach, despite the fact that he'd barely spoken to her the past few days and now there was this. The group that had been together for three years would spend one last night together in the same area, although separated into different residential homes, and then everyone would go there different ways the next day. At dinner time, her stomach growled at the sight of food. Food Katharine didn't have to slave away on, food that didn't have to be caught by them, food that wasn't constant fish and slop. It wasn't buffet style, there wasn't nearly enough food for them to revert to the type of American lifestyle that they'd been living before but it was so much more plentiful than they'd had for the past three years. Kaden had to remind herself to eat slowly and savor it rather than gobbling it all up like she wanted to. "You better eat more than that. I saw how skinny you were when they took off your clothes," Charlie told her whilst digging into his own plate. Kaden gaped at him. "You saw me when I was naked?" she asked incredulously. As he cut his chicken, she could see him bite back a smile. "I saw everyone naked." "You weren't suppose to look!" "I saw you looking." Kaden's jaw dropped and she could feel the tips of her ears getting rid -- a telltale sign of her embarrassment. If he'd seen her looking at him while he was naked... "No you didn't. I wasn't looking." "Then maybe you were just looking at me." Charlie grinned at her. For this, she had no good comeback. She could feel her cheeks flame red. He made her so nervous even though they use to be so comfortable around each other. She used to turn around in the middle of the night when he had held her after her mother's death and face him, nuzzling her face into his chest. They used to be that comfortable and at ease although the darkness of night was always a great shield. Even now, years later, before she fell asleep she'd imagine his arm around her. It had given her hundreds of nights worth of comfort. "I... it's hard not to glance at naked people," she finally managed to reply. "Oh, so, it wasn't just me. You were checking everyone out, like Easton and Catie and Alanna..." At this, Kaden bristled. He must've been looking Alanna up and down, too, acknowledging her appeal. Alanna, unlike Kaden, had not burned in shame at being stripped naked. But why should she be angry? It wasn't as though Charlie had told her he had feelings for her. If anything, he made it obvious that he thought of her as something he needed to take care of, a pet, a sentimental endearment whereas Alanna was the one whom he'd probably sleep with sooner or later. Kaden rubbed her eyes, exhausted with herself. Perhaps she'd been wrong to let Elias go, perhaps he would be the only one to ever love her. She knew she was attractive enough to catch the interest in somebody else but years of seeing her father cheat on her mother pre-war made her wonder if she'd ever be enough for someone. "What's wrong?" Charlie asked her, his fork hanging in mid-air, dangling some rice and curry. He was frowning at her. "Your face just went through like ten different emotions." "I'm fine," she answered curtly, still annoyed with him for bringing up Alanna, although she knew he didn't do it purposefully to anger her. Her eyes scanned the mess hall and saw Elias eating with a few other men and ironically, Alanna and her father. She watched him casually conversing with another guy until Elias's blonde head looked up, catching him looking at her. They stared at each other for several seconds, far longer than a normal stare until Kaden looked away, wondering what she was thinking. She broke it off with Elias for a reason, it wasn't just because she'd been missing Charlie. There were things Elias had done in his past that she disagreed with, along with traits about him that she just couldn't shake off. A long time ago, pre-war times, her friend had told her, "It's not about trying to find someone better. It's about finding someone more matched to you." Charlie watched her gaze across the room and followed that gaze to see Elias, a guy a year or two younger than him looking at Kaden. He tensed immediately. So it was him that she liked. She'd forgotten about Charlie. He didn't blame her, he'd been gone for so long anyways. Yet he could feel his heart sinking, being crushed. His throat constricted, it became hard to swallow. He raised his eyes to see her face, she'd gone back to consuming her food. Her lips were red from the cold conditions they'd had to endure and her cheeks were pale except for where a slight pink tinged her cheekbones. Her hair, wavy and messy, as if she'd been on a windy beach, was tucked behind one ear. She was beautiful. He'd thought for so long she was his. Scratch that. For so long, he'd wanted her to be his. She glanced up at him, almost scowling. She was annoyed with him for some reason. He didn't know why. He plowed into his food, telling himself not to think about it. ******* "So, want me to put in a good word for you?" I Dreamt of You Ch. 01 Kaden frowned at Charlie as she tucked one corner of her sheets underneath her new twin size mattress. "What?" He was standing there by his bed, hands shoved into the pockets of his worn jeans. They were sharing a small room with two small twin size beds, one for each. With Charlie's height, the bed would be too small for him but he didn't seem to care much. "With Elias. I can put in a good word for you if you want." He said it so casually and nonchalantly while looking her dead in the eye. "A good word? What do you mean?" she asked, confused. Charlie looked uncomfortable now, as though he wished he really hadn't brought this up. He scratched the back of his neck, grimacing. "It seemed like you had a thing for him, I guess." Kaden frowned. "What makes you think that?" He shrugged, now looking even more uncomfortable. He wasn't looking her in the eye at all anymore. His eyes flickered towards her before looking back down boyishly. "I just saw you looking at him, so I thought I tried to help you out." He was trying to act as casual as possible, as though he were a friend, nothing more. "Oh. No, I don't like him in that way," Kaden answered, still bewildered by him. "Oh." Without speaking, they continued making their beds. ************* Darkness blanketed the room and all Kaden could see was Charlie's back, facing the wall. His breathing wasn't rhythmical or heavy yet and so she didn't think he was asleep either although he could've just been a very quiet sleeper. She thought of how she used to listen to her mother sleep, the specific noises she had. She had asthma and so her breathing was heavier and often her nose was stuffy, which could sometimes induce a slight snoring. Kaden smiled, remembering how in the morning she'd grumble at her mother for her snoring and how her mother would just feign innocence. Her mother had been gone for three years now. She was in disbelief that three years had already passed. In moments, a second had seemed like an hour yet tallying it all up together, it had gone by in the blink of an eye. Her father was gone too but it had always been her mother's death which hit her the hardest. Mathilda was there for her and she'd always been so grateful for her friend but the lack of someone's arm around you, holding you for so long, the lack of human touch in general had made her feel so incredibly lonely. Growing up an only child without parental affection, such as hugging or pats on the shoulder or compliments or "I love you's", there was a part of her that always remained lonely, although there was a part of her that, in some ways, had grown accustomed to it, too. She remembered doctor's visits when the doctor, usually a woman, would touch her arm or listen to her heartbeat. The touch alone made her feel more relaxed and better. The human touch could do wonders. Thinking this, or rather possibly not rationally thinking at all, she sat up in bed, suddenly desperately needing to not be alone in this cold bed any longer. The bed was by far softer than anything she experienced in a tent but it still wasn't entirely comfortable. She pulled her legs out from under the blankets, placing her feet on the cool, hardwood floor. Chilled and apprehensive, this was by far the most forward thing she'd ever done, and despite the fact that he might be angry at her or she might get hurt, Kaden crept forward to Charlie's bed. She tucked her hair behind her ears, eyes on his sturdy shoulders and lifted the corner of his blankets, crawling in. Immediately she felt the warmth radiating from his body and she curled towards it, placing her head on his back. "Your feet are cold," came his voice suddenly, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. He turned around under the blankets to face her, her brown eyes to his brown eyes. Placing his hand on her cheek, brushing a few strands of hair away, he leaned forward to kiss her. His lips were so warm on hers, his hand so warm on her face, giving her every comfort she could have fathomed. Her mind a flurry and not thinking like she normally would, she pressed herself against him and he did the same, their bodies finding every angle and crevice to push themselves into. She opened her mouth at the same time he did and she felt his tongue enter her mouth at the same time his hand cupped her face harder. Then abruptly, he broke the kiss. Her eyes fluttering open in a daze, she saw him smiling sheepishly at her. "You need sleep," he said gently. "And I can't control myself if we continue." "Okay," she whispered. "Okay," she said, again, needing to regain some sanity. .... to be continued