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Hope Ch. 01

By: rachlou



Thanks, Lily, for editing!

* * *

Savage pains tore across Lisa's mid section and she sank to the floor in agony, desperately trying to breathe rhythmically through the contractions. Eventually, the pain faded away again and she reached for the telephone to dial Ellie's number. She didn't think she had much time now and the hospital was a good half hour drive away.

"It's coming," she managed to gasp when Ellie finally answered the call. 

"Don't panic, I'll be round straight away," her friend said hurriedly.

Lisa didn't reply. She dropped the receiver onto the floor as another vicious pain held her tightly in its iron grip. By the time Ellie had burst in through the front door, Lisa could hardly move. 

"Come on Lisa, we need to get you in the car. Where's your bag?"

Lisa pointed towards the kitchen and continued to pant heavily. She tried to stand, but once more a contraction hit and she closed her eyes tightly, as the sweat poured down her face. 

Ellie rushed and grabbed the small holdall, throwing it over one shoulder lightly. Frankly, she was worried that they wouldn't make it in time. The speed with which the contractions were coming suggested that this baby's arrival was imminent. 

She took hold of Lisa's arm gently and steered her towards the door. "Not far, sweetie," she said encouragingly. "We'll soon have you nice and comfy at the hospital."

"Good," gasped Lisa, clutching her swollen belly again. "All I want is to have this baby out now." For a fleeting second, her mind flitted on to him, but she automatically dismissed the thought as soon as it arose. He had made his decision and they both had to live with the consequences. 

* * *

Ellie sat in the corridor, staring at a poster of a photogenic baby. Nurses came and went, but nobody seemed to have any news. The magazine was lying open on her knee and went unread. It was impossible to concentrate on anything -- she was too worried about Lisa and the baby.

By rights, it shouldn't have been her sitting here, waiting. But what choice did she have? She could hardly have let the poor girl deal with this alone. Lisa had nobody else. She had no family and the baby's father was not around. Not that Ellie really knew much about what had happened. Lisa had stayed tight lipped on the subject, merely saying, early on, that he wasn't going to be around.

As much as it was none of her business, Ellie couldn't help but wonder what kind of man walked away from a woman who was carrying his baby. She just wished she could tell him what was happening. Maybe if he knew Lisa was in trouble, he'd show up and everything would be okay. 

"Are you the woman who brought Lisa Jackson in?" 

Ellie jumped, startled from her grim thoughts by the tall man standing before her. His white coat indicated he was one of the doctors and his grave expression suggested all was not well. Her heart began to thud painfully in her chest. Please God let everything be okay...

"Yes, I'm Ellie Donnelly," she replied quickly. "How is she?"

"Could you come with me, please?" The doctor didn't wait for her to answer -- he turned and strode off down the long corridor and Ellie was forced to jog after him. He reached a door and pushed it open, indicating for Ellie to go into the room.

She spun round. "Please, tell me what's happening?"

"It's not good news I'm afraid. As you're aware, we had to perform an emergency caesarean. Unfortunately, there were unexpected complications, and despite all our efforts, we lost Lisa."

Ellie heard the words, but she didn't quite believe them. Surely this man was joking! Women didn't die in childbirth in this day and age, did they? She sat down abruptly, the shock knocking the stuffing out of her completely. 

"What about the baby?" she croaked. She could hardly comprehend that Lisa was gone. It seemed surreal. She should be standing beside Lisa's bed now, cooing over a baby while Lisa beamed happily. Instead, she was having this bizarre conversation with a man who was telling her Lisa was dead.

"The baby is fine -- Lisa had a little girl." For the first time, the Doctor allowed a faint smile to briefly illuminate his tired features. "Which brings me to my next question - do you know who Lisa's next of kin are? We'll need to contact them."

"She doesn't have any."

The doctor looked slightly taken aback. It obviously wasn't the answer he was expecting. "What about the baby's father?"

"That's a difficult one," admitted Ellie. "I don't know much about him." She racked her brains, trying to think if Lisa had given her any information over the last few months. The trouble was Ellie hadn't known Lisa when she was seeing that man. She'd only moved into the street after she was pregnant and the relationship was over.

"Nothing at all? If the baby's biological father is not on the scene, we'll have to call social services."

"Look, let me see what I can find out." 

The doctor nodded. "Okay, but I'll still have to set things in motion." This was not the outcome he expected. To lose a patient was tragic enough, but to find out the baby was effectively an orphan, was the worst-case scenario. 

He left Ellie sitting in the pale green room, still in shock. Days like this made him wish he'd studied art instead of medicine. Abruptly, his pager went off, alerting him to a fresh problem. Pushing the image of the dead girl from his head, he dashed back down the corridor.

* * *

Michael silently washed the dishes as he stared unseeing out into the garden. The water was scalding hot, but he barely noticed. For some reason, he'd been thinking about Lisa again. Despite the months that had passed since they parted, he hadn't really forgotten about her. Once, he'd tried ringing her mobile, but the number was no longer in use. 

He guessed she had met someone else by now; she was too pretty to be on her own for long. This was one of the reasons he hadn't tried contacting her when things changed -- the thought of finding out she'd fallen in love with someone else was too painful. No, he had to accept that he'd blown it big time. It had been his own fault -- Lisa had given him every opportunity to choose her, but he'd been unable to do it. In the end, she'd given up on him and their relationship.

At the time, it had felt like he had no choice but to cool things off for a while - Helen's tearful announcement of her illness had rocked him to the core. To abandon his wife in her hour of need was not something he was capable of. He may have been a lousy husband, but even he wouldn't do something so callous. 

By the time he had discovered Helen's betrayal, it was too late. He had desperately wanted to contact Lisa, but she had moved house and changed her job, thus, effectively cutting him out of her life. As much as it killed him, he realised that staying away from her was probably in her interests. He had hurt her enough and he didn't want to cause her any more pain had to respect her decision 

He never intended to hurt Lisa, but he couldn't give her what she needed. He had to be there for Helen. Michael gripped the edge of the sink tightly, as he thought about Helen and how he'd been duped. He still found it difficult to forgive her for what she'd put him through. She was lucky he hadn't killed her when he'd found out. 

Thinking back to that final time he saw Lisa, he wished he'd known then what he knew now. He would have held her and never let her go again. But he hadn't. Instead, he'd lost the woman he loved.

"I'm sorry, Lisa," he had said sadly, as they stood beside his car the last time he'd seen her. "I love you, but I can't leave her now. She needs me."

"I need you too, Michael," she replied brokenly. 

Her pain cut him to the bone. It was his pain too. Silently, they held each other one last time. 

"Maybe when things are different..." he tried to say, but it was no use. He was clutching at an invisible straw and they both knew it. 

"Goodbye, Michael," she said sadly, a lone tear sliding down her pale cheek. Without further ado, she walked away and climbed into her car. Before Michael could stop her, she was gone, forever.

* * *

Ellie unlocked Lisa's house and walked in. Dirty dishes were laid in the sink and she noticed a vaguely stale smell lingering in the air. For a while she stood in the hallway, listening to the sound of silence. It was still difficult to comprehend that Lisa wasn't coming back. Everywhere Ellie looked, there were reminders of her friend. 

A copy of Parents magazine was open on the sofa, a half drunk mug of tea congealed on the table. Ellie perhaps imagined she could hear the radio playing pop tunes in the kitchen and Lisa would appear at any moment, grinning as she produced a packet of chocolate biscuits for them to eat.

But Lisa wasn't ever coming home. The house would soon be cleared and offered to another tenant and all traces of Lisa would be gone. Apart from the baby she'd left behind. Ellie had been to see the baby that morning. She was tiny; a little doll in an oversized stretchy suit. It almost broke her heart to see the infant in the crib, happily sucking away on her thumb as she slept; obliviously unaware that she was an orphan.

Which was why Ellie had come back to the house - she felt certain there had to be something here that would give her a clue as to the whereabouts of the baby's father. Irrespective of what had gone wrong between them, Lisa would have wanted him to know about the baby now that she was gone. The thought of Lisa's baby ending up with foster parents, when she had a father somewhere, felt wrong. Ellie was determined to do all she could to help.

She began to hunt through drawers in the dresser, trying not to think too much about how only a day earlier, Lisa had sat in this very room, excited about the impending birth. It still felt unreal. 

When she found nothing of interest downstairs, Ellie moved on to Lisa's bedroom. Now she felt really uncomfortable, like she was prying, but she kept reminding herself of the fact there was nobody else to look. Ellie was the closest thing Lisa had had to family.

There was a shoebox on the top shelf of the wardrobe. Standing on a chair, Ellie managed to reach it and she carefully lifted it down. Inside, there were several letters, cards, and photographs. As soon as she glanced at them, she realised she'd found what she had been looking for.

The first photograph showed a smiling Lisa with a tall, dark haired man. He had his arm draped around her shoulders as they stared into the lens of the camera. The picture appeared to have been taken a while ago because Lisa looked younger; her hair was much longer than it had been in the time Ellie knew her. The man appeared older than her friend, but they seemed happy in the picture.

The next picture showed the man smiling as he sat beneath a huge tree. There were a couple more of him at the same place, then a final one of the two of them, arms wrapped round each other.

Whoever he was, it seemed that it had been more than just a casual relationship, that much Ellie was certain. There were three valentine's cards carefully placed in the box, each one, cute and sentimental; no name inside, just a scrawled M and a few kisses. 

There were also a few hand-written notes, love letters for want of a better word. Ellie glanced at the words; it felt like an invasion of privacy to read such personal stuff. Since there was no real information in them, she started to put them to one side. The last sheet of paper caught her eye. It was a print out of an email conversation. From the content, it looked like it was one of the final pieces of correspondence between Lisa and Michael.

He appeared to be justifying his reasons for not ending his marriage in order to be with Lisa. Ellie realised, then, why Lisa had not wanted to discuss it. She'd been having an affair with a married man. Judging by the date on the emails, they were sent nine months ago, which suggested Lisa had ended the relationship around the time she fell pregnant. Had she even told him about the baby? It seemed now that there was a possibility she hadn't.

The only positive side to these emails was that he had sent the messages from his work account. This gave Ellie a starting point to finding him. She now had his full name, Michael MacArthur, plus his company name. Assuming he hadn't changed his job, she should be able to contact him. Just what exactly she was going to say to the man was something she hadn't yet considered. Nevertheless, she felt she owed it to Lisa and her baby to try to find this Michael. If he truly didn't want to know for whatever reason, then at least she'd done her best. Thereafter, it would be up to Social Services.

* * *

Michael replaced the receiver on the phone and realised his hands were shaking. His whole life had just shifted on some invisible axis and nothing would ever be the same again. 

"Would you like a cup of coffee, Michael? I'm just..." Jenny, his PA, stopped dead when she saw his demeanour and the rest of her sentence was left hanging. 

He took a deep breath and tried to compose his thoughts. Judging from Jenny's continued look of concerned curiosity, his attempt to look normal wasn't working.

"No, I have to go out. Can you hold all my calls and cancel that meeting with Rod James? Tell him I'll reschedule for later in the week."

"Sure, no problem," Jenny said carefully. "Is everything okay?" 

"No, not really," Michael said as he began to pack his briefcase hurriedly. He doubted it would ever be okay again.

Jenny waited for him to elaborate on this intriguing statement. When he said nothing more, she gave up. "When will you be back?"

"No idea," he said. "I'll call you later." He swept out of the office, oblivious to the discreet glances from the staff. The only thing on his mind was the news he had just been given. 

* * *

Ellie sat in the coffee shop wondering what the hell she was going to say to this stranger whose life she had just upended with the most catastrophic news. She supposed that she should be pleased he had even listened to her. For the first few moments, she had expected him to hang up -- but he had been willing to listen when she mentioned Lisa's name. For that she was grateful.

She recognised him as soon as he strode through the door. He, on the other hand, had no idea who she was, so she stood, feeling a little self-conscious, and waved at him. 

Michael sat down and faced the petite dark haired woman who had just dropped the biggest bombshell of his life on him. 

"You must be Ellie," he said, for lack of anything better to say. 

"And you must be Michael," Ellie replied with a ghost of a smile flickering across her face. "I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of such news," she apologised, "but I felt you had a right to know."

Michael looked down at the table and studied the scratches in the worn pine surface. He sensed her sympathy, but he wasn't sure he deserved it.

"How did you find me?" He was still mystified about that. 

"Lisa had kept some letters amongst other things. There was a print out of an email you'd sent her and I found your telephone number through the company details. Can I fetch you a coffee?" 

"No, it's okay. I'll get it. Would you like another one?" Michael needed a moment to collect his thoughts. This was all too much. 

Ellie shook her head. "No, thanks," she replied. "Too much caffeine is bad for me."

He stood and joined the queue for drinks. For some reason, this reminded him of the many times he'd met Lisa for coffee at lunchtime. When their affair first began, they had spent many hours talking over coffee. Short, stolen, blissful moments, all fitted in between meetings. The local coffee shop had been a refuge from all that was wrong with his life. 

"Can I help you, sir?" the blonde girl behind the counter repeated with an expression of irritation on her pretty face.

Only then did he realise she had been impatiently waiting for his order. He hurriedly asked for an espresso. Once he had paid for the drink, he returned to Ellie and sat down again.

He sipped the scorching hot coffee. "How was she...before she " He broke off abruptly. The words just wouldn't come, no matter how much he tried to spit them out. 

"Lisa was good," Ellie said softly. "She was happy and looking forward to the baby's coming." Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes. She fought to contain the tide of emotion that threatened to spill out from behind the carefully built wall of control. This wasn't about her; it was about the child.

"I didn't want things to end the way they did," Michael said slowly. He wasn't sure why he was justifying himself to this stranger, but he felt he had to explain. "She never told me about the baby." 

Ellie reached out impulsively and covered Michael's hand. It felt cold despite the warm day. "That's in the past now," she said gently. "I'm not here to cast blame on anyone. I'm only trying to do the right thing for the baby."

"What's her name?" he asked hesitantly, grateful for Ellie's empathy. "The baby, I mean."

"She doesn't have one, but Lisa liked the name Hope. She said it was fitting for her baby." Ellie wondered if she'd had some kind of premonition. 

"That's a nice name," he said. "Can I see her?"

"Yes. If you want you..."

He knew there was no way on earth he could NOT see her now. She was all he had left.

* * *

The shadows lengthened in the dark room as night fell. Still, Michael continued to sit, immobile in his worn leather armchair. A glass of scotch sat untouched on the table beside him. He was too lost in his memories. 

Helen had rung earlier, ostensibly to chat about things, but he knew it was her way of checking up on him. Even from three thousand miles away, she still felt the need to control his life. As he listened to her familiar voice echoing down the phone line, it was on the tip of his tongue to tell her everything. But self-preservation prevented him. It could wait until she returned to finalise their divorce in a few months time. He had no desire to open Pandora's Box too soon.

Not that his life was any of her business anymore. Once he'd kicked her out, she had decided to travel and take some time to decide what she wanted from her life. In her own inimitable way, she had calmly stated that she no longer needed him and now she wanted her freedom. 

He sometimes wondered why he had ever thought it was possible for things to change. How naïve he had been. Duty and a sense of misguided loyalty had prevented him from seeking happiness with the woman he loved - and for what exactly? Now he was the one left with nothing. 

Well almost nothing, he silently corrected himself. He had Hope. 

If only Lisa had told me, he thought miserably. Maybe then things would have been different. But she had said nothing. She had simply walked away from him that day. Of course, now he knew why. She must have known that if she had told him of her pregnancy, he would have felt utterly torn. 

He could still picture her face during those final moments, as she shook her head with sorrow. How he wished he could turn the clock back. If he knew then what he knew now -- would it have made any difference? They would never know. He had made a terrible decision and the die had been cast.

Tomorrow, he would go and see his daughter. Despite the desolation he felt by knowing Lisa was gone forever, a small flicker of hope burned deep within the barren wasteland of his heart. He had to be strong for Hope. She needed him.

* * *

The nursery was empty but for the crib in the corner. Michael walked across the room while Ellie stood near the door and watched. She still wasn't sure if this was going to work. What if he rejected the baby? Instinct told her he was a decent man, but who knew for sure. 


Hope Ch. 01



The social worker had certainly seemed pleased at the news that Hope did, in fact, have a father. Assuming Michael was willing to accept his responsibility, she had said Hope could be taken home as soon as he was ready. She would continue to monitor the baby, but she wasn't going to stand in Michael's way since he was the natural father.

Ellie was rather relieved by this decision. She wasn't all that certain Social Services would be amenable to Michael's assuming parental responsibility. Fortunately for everybody, reason had prevailed for once. 

Hope was asleep. For what seemed like ages, Michael stood watching her, his face turned away from Ellie's gaze. She tried to relax, but the tension and emotion of the moment was almost unbearable. Part of her couldn't help but wonder if Lisa was watching them all. Ellie hoped so. Yes, she really did.

There was a small sound from the Perspex crib, followed by a muffled cry. Michael turned round, his face worried. "What do I do?" he asked.

"You could try picking her up," replied Ellie with a smile. "She won't break!"

"But she's so tiny," marvelled Michael. "Like a little doll. I've never seen anything so delicate." He seemed in awe. Ellie wondered if he had any idea of how much work was involved in looking after a baby. 

Ellie knew - she was the eldest of seven children. That was probably why she'd made a subconscious decision not to have kids of her own. Besides, she hadn't met any man she considered worthy enough to father her children. She was resigned to the fact that she probably never would. 

Hope began to cry more vigorously. As Ellie considered intervening, Michael reached into the crib and gingerly picked her up. Immediately, she ceased her wailing.

"Hello, Hope," he murmured almost inaudibly. 

Michael couldn't believe that this precious child in his arms came from him. It seemed impossible. She was far too perfect. Her wisps of blonde hair were like threads of gold and her cornflower blue eyes reminded him of Lisa. In fact, everything about her reminded him of Lisa -- from the sweet rosebud of her mouth, to the way she looked at him unflinchingly as if she could see right into his soul. For a second, he swore Lisa was there, standing beside him, smiling at them both. 

Then the moment passed and Hope yawned sleepily. "Does she want feeding?" he said.

"I reckon the wee girl is hungry, yes." A stout nurse appeared through the door with a bottle of formula in her hand. "Here you are," she smiled as she passed the warm bottle to Michael. He must have looked stricken because the nurse chuckled.

"I can see you're a novice at this!" she grinned. "Here, this is how you do it." She showed him how to feed Hope. He was surprised to find that Hope had drunk every last drop of her milk in no time and was falling asleep contentedly.

"Now, it's time to change that nappy," exclaimed the nurse gleefully and Ellie couldn't help but laugh at Michael's horrified expression. The relief she felt was overwhelming. After the nightmarish last few days, it seemed like something positive might actually emerge from this unholy mess. If only Lisa could witness this, she thought sadly. All she could hope for was that Lisa was watching, somehow, somewhere.

* * *

It was only when the telephone rang that Michael realised he'd nodded off again. He opened his bleary eyes and tried to focus on the small desktop clock. He had approximately ten minutes, before one of the directors was due to arrive for a monthly review meeting.

As he sat wondering how on earth he was going to pull this meeting off, Jenny strolled in with a large mug of black coffee. "Here you go," she said kindly. "I was just about to come and wake you up. Mr Clark is down in reception. I've managed to stall him, but apparently he is going to be up here very shortly."

"Thanks, Jenny," Michael said gratefully. He sometimes wondered what he would have done without his loyal PA. She had saved his bacon several times recently. 

"Rough night again?" Jenny asked sympathetically, noting the dark circles beneath his eyes.

"You could say that!" Michael smiled ruefully. Hope had cried every night for the last fortnight. It seemed to be colic -- or so he had decided after consulting umpteen childcare books. But whatever it was, the end result was little or no sleep for either of them. Despite these problems, he wouldn't have given up his little girl for all the sleep in the world.

Smiling fondly, he sipped the scalding coffee as Jenny quickly tidied his meeting table and scurried off to make some tea for their guest.

"You're looking...tired," commented John Clark when he strode into the office. 

"Oh you know how it is," replied Michael airily. The last thing he wanted was for John to think he wasn't up to the job anymore. With Helen demanding ever more money he needed every penny he could earn.

"I can vaguely remember," John agreed dryly. "It seems like a lifetime ago since my girls were babies. How are you coping?"

Despite the seemingly caring question, Michael knew very well that with any hint of falling apart the vultures would descend for the final kill. His second in command, Sam Brown, had been snapping at his heels for weeks now and Michael was loath to lose his job to him. 

"I'm coping well, John, thanks for asking," he said breezily. "Now, about that report you wanted to discuss, I have two copies here and as soon as Jenny brings the tea in, we can get on with it."

John nodded. He seemed reassured by Michael's confident manner. "Excellent stuff - I'm looking forward to seeing what innovative proposals you have managed to come up with."

Inwardly Michael breathed a sigh of relief. He just hoped that the meeting wouldn't drag on too long -- he needed to collect Hope from the childminder before six.

* * *

Ellie threw some tins in her trolley and listened to the wail of a small child somewhere in the vicinity. She smiled to herself; it was times like this that she knew not having children had been the right decision. As much as she loved her nieces and nephews, she was also rather glad to hand them back at the end of visits. Sitting in front of the television with a packet of biscuits and a glass of wine wasn't everyone's idea of an exciting evening, but it suited her just fine.

She still missed Lisa. She had new neighbours now, but apart from polite words here and there, she hadn't made any effort to make friends with them. They were a young couple. It had broken her heart when she first saw the removal van pull up outside the small terrace house. The sight of strangers carrying in boxes and pieces of worn furniture only reinforced the knowledge that Lisa was truly gone for good. She had cried herself to sleep that night.

Pushing the awkward trolley with its wonky wheel round the corner, Ellie grabbed a packet of cereal and decided to call it a night. She was tired and there would be something interesting on the television soon. The wailing she'd just heard suddenly increased in volume and she found another trolley in her path. A man was trying to comfort a small baby unsuccessfully.

"Would you mind moving?" she asked politely when she realised she wouldn't be able to pass until he moved.

"Oh, sorry," the man apologised. 

It was Michael. He looked at her blankly for a second, before the realisation sank in. "Is it Ellie?" he asked. "Lisa's friend?"

She smiled warmly. "Yes. How are you?" She hadn't seen him since the funeral. The memory of that cold, miserable day made her shudder. They had stood amongst a straggle of strangers whilst Lisa's coffin was lowered into the dark earth. It was not a day she hoped she would ever have to repeat.

"I soldier on," he grinned. "It would help if somebody would shut up for five minutes." Hope continued to wail miserably as he rubbed her back.

Ellie glanced into his trolley. "Have you got much more to buy?" she asked.

"No, why?"

"Well, I've finished, so if I chuck my stuff in the end of your trolley and push this, you can carry Hope to the checkout. It might make things easier."

Michael looked at her with relief. He knew Hope preferred being carried to lying in her seat. It wasn't as if she was hungry or ill-- she just wanted the comfort of his arms.

"It's a deal," he replied gratefully.

By the time they had passed through the checkout, Hope had quietened down. She stared at Ellie through damp lashes and Ellie felt her heart melt a little. She really was an adorable baby; no doubt she'd break a few hearts when she was all grown up.

"Where's your car?" asked Michael when they left the brightly lit supermarket.

"In the garage -- again!" Ellie scowled as she thought about her green Fiat. That car was the bane of her life these days. "I'll catch the bus home."

"No, no. We can drop you off if you like?"

"Are you sure? It might be miles out of your way." Ellie told him where she lived and hoped it was on his way home. Her feet were killing her and she didn't relish a long wait for a bus.

"I'd be happy to drop you off," Michael confirmed. "My car is just over there." He pointed to a black BMW and began to push the trolley towards it. Ellie thanked her lucky stars as she surveyed the long queue for a bus and gratefully jogged after him, her plaits bouncing jauntily.

* * *

"Thanks so much for the lift," Ellie said, as Michael pulled up outside her small, terraced house. 

"No problem," he smiled. "It was nice to see you again." And he meant it. Ellie had obviously been a good friend to Lisa and he had regretted not taking her telephone number after the funeral. But then again it hadn't exactly been on his mind at the time. All he had wanted to do, then, was go home and grieve in solitude.

He had an idea. "Perhaps Hope and I could treat you to a coffee in the park one Sunday?" 

Ellie looked surprised for a moment before her face broke out in a warm smile. "That would be lovely," she grinned. 

"How about this Sunday? Is eleven o'clock alright for you?"

Ellie thought about it for a moment. Did she have anything urgent planned for Sunday morning? Housework didn't really count -- so no. "Eleven o'clock is fine with me. Shall I meet you by the bandstand?" 

"Okay, bandstand it is. Hope and I look forward to it." They both grinned at each other before Ellie jumped out of the car and retrieved her bag of shopping.

"Bye Hope," she said softly, as the baby cooed at her happily. 

She shut the car door and Michael drove off down the street. He was feeling more cheerful than he had for a while. It would be good to spend some time with another adult on his weekends. As much as he adored Hope, sometimes he felt very isolated. It was only now that he appreciated how difficult it was being a single parent. Most of his friends had drifted away since he had assumed responsibility for Hope. He was well aware of what they were saying behind his back, but he didn't care. 

The only thorn in his side was Helen. His estranged wife was currently trekking through Belize and was, therefore, out of contact. As far as he was concerned, that at least was a blessing. But it wouldn't be forever. He was certain that one of their 'friends' would have enlightened her about his 'situation' via email before he had the chance to talk to her. She was unlikely to be a happy woman once the truth came out. Oh no -- he wasn't exactly looking forward to that particular conversation.

* * *

The sun was struggling to peek through the grey clouds, as Ellie strolled down the concrete path towards the bandstand. She was rather looking forward to spending some time with Hope - Michael too, if she was brutally honest. She could well understand what Lisa saw in him. Had seen, she mentally corrected herself. He was attractive in a gruff kind of way, but what did it for Ellie was the quiet way he spoke and acted. 

Of course, this was just a friendship, nothing more. If it meant she also got to spend time with Hope, then she was happy. It pleased her to know she might be able to watch Hope grow up. If Lisa still were here, Ellie would have been the little girl's adoptive Aunt. 

"You'll be the one taking her to the pub as soon as she's old enough!" Lisa laughed at the look of horror on Ellie's face.

"Oh come on! It's more likely that SHE'LL be showing ME how it's all done!" They both thought about the prospect that this baby Lisa was carrying might one day morph into a Britney Spears clone, and Lisa grimaced. 

"Scary," Lisa said out loud. "I've changed my mind. Convent education it is."

"Good luck!" Ellie grinned. 

It was still hard to come to terms with the realisation that Lisa would never see her little girl become a young woman, perhaps marry and have children of her own. Tears pricked Ellie's eyes at the unfairness of it all.

"Hey there!" Michael's voice interrupted her silent reverie and she realised he stood across her path with Hope in her pram. 

"Sorry, I was miles away," Ellie apologised. "I was just thinking about—" She stopped abruptly. Now was not the time for such maudlin thoughts. 

"That's okay," Michael said quietly. Ellie looked at him through damp lashes and had the uncanny sense that he knew exactly what she had been thinking about. It was most unsettling. She brushed the sensation to one side and determinedly pasted a neutral expression on her face.

They wandered over to the small café near the bandstand and sat down at one of the empty tables. It was a bright morning, and fairly cool. Most people had taken tables inside the cramped building, so the outside seating was pretty deserted. Despite her lingering sense of sadness, Ellie was glad she had made the effort to come. She felt positive for the first time in a while.

"Can I hold her?" she asked when Michael un-strapped Hope and lifted her out of the pram. 

"Of course," he said. "I'll go and fetch the coffees." 

Hope gazed up with huge blue eyes as she was lying in the curve of Ellie's arm. Small wisps of blonde hair curled in little ringlets and she resembled a tiny cherub, peaceful and angelic.

"Don't be fooled by that innocent demeanour," chuckled Michael as he returned, and placed a tray on their table. "She's never that sweet at three in the morning!"

"I can well imagine," Ellie giggled. "I have seven younger siblings. Connor, the third youngest, was born when I was eleven. He had the most awful colic and spent months screaming all night, every night. My parents were on the verge of divorce by the time he stopped all the crying. It was no fun." She pulled a face as she thought back to the horrific nights of no sleep. 

"No, it's not much fun," said Michael with great understatement. "But it won't last forever."

"True," agreed Ellie. "But then you have teenage tantrums to look forward to instead," she added, recalling the conversation she'd had with Lisa.

"A convent education is the answer to that," said Michael. 

"That's exactly what Lisa said!" 

Michael looked shaken and Ellie wished she hadn't said it. It was painfully obvious he hadn't yet dealt with everything that had happened. "Sorry," she said gently. "I'm horribly tactless at times."

"No, it's okay." He leant forward and sipped his coffee. "I do need to talk about things," he said after a moment of silence. "It's difficult, you know?"

"I do know," Ellie replied. 

They both looked away, lost in their own recollections of the woman who'd brought them together. Then Hope began to grizzle and the moment passed.

"I think somebody is ready for a feed," Michael said. "I'll just nip in and see if they can warm her bottle up."

Ellie watched him walk across towards the café and thought again how attractive he was. Once again, she reminded herself that he was off limits even if he and his wife were separated. The last thing either of them needed was any romantic complications to be added to this situation. 

He came back out through the double doors and Ellie quickly looked down at Hope, conscious that she'd been staring. She hoped he hadn't noticed. Fortunately, Hope decided to start wailing the moment Michael sat down, and so his attention was diverted. 

This allowed Ellie a chance to remember why she was there -- and it wasn't to make any more unsuitable attachments. She had had enough of those to last a lifetime. As nice as Michael seemed, it was worth remembering that he had hurt Lisa badly and been unfaithful to his wife in the process. That was hardly the kind of man she needed to fall for. Oh no she told herself firmly as she watched him patiently coax Hope to take milk from the bottle. She needed a man like that as much as she needed a hole in her shoe.

They chatted about mundane things whilst Hope finished her feed. Eventually, it was time to move and Michael strapped a grizzling baby back in her pram. "She's tired," he commented.

"She's not the only one," replied Ellie dryly, noting the grey circles beneath Michael's eyes.

He laughed. "Sleep is a luxury these days!"

"You know," said Ellie after a moment's thought, "I don't mind babysitting if you ever need a break?"

Michael looked surprised. "I'm sure you must have loads of better things to do in your spare time."

Ellie shrugged. "Not particularly. I don't go out that often. Besides, I'd like to see more of Hope -- if you don't mind?"

"I thought you'd have men queuing up to take you out!" He grinned at her and Ellie felt a slow warm sensation creeping through her body. 

"Hardly." She smiled self-deprecatingly and willed her cheeks not to flush. 

"Well, I'm sure Hope would love to see more of you, so consider your offer likely to be taken up imminently. You'll have to give me your phone number and then I can ring you."

Ellie pulled a scrap of paper from her bag and jotted the number down before handing it to Michael. Their fingers briefly touched and she, once again, felt a sharp zing of attraction. 

They said their goodbyes and Ellie walked away towards the south entrance of the park. She almost wished she hadn't offered to baby-sit. As much as she wanted to spend time with Hope, she had the feeling that her attraction to Michael was going to be dangerous.

But it was too late now. She could hardly revoke her offer, so the ball was firmly in his court.

* * *

Michael replaced the phone in its cradle and swore loudly. Hope was lying in her rocker chair nearby. Her eyes widened at the flood of foul language. 

"Shut your ears, Hope," Michael told her. "Daddy's just mad, but not at you." 

The baby cooed and waved her rattle at him, and he smiled, the tension fading somewhat. He was still left with a problem however. Tonight, he was meant to be wining and dining a potential client and his wife, who were currently over from Tokyo. It was an important evening. This client could be a vital asset to the company. Moreover, it had been implied that if he didn't win the contract, he might be sidelined very soon. He knew his job was in a precarious position; certain individuals were waiting, hopefully, for him to screw up big time. Therefore, he had no choice but to attend this dinner.

Unfortunately, his childminder had let him down. She had promised it was no problem to take Hope for a few hours. Nevertheless, she had rung up half an hour ago to apologetically explain that she had a viral stomach bug and was, therefore, in no position to baby-sit. 

Now, he didn't know what the hell he was going to do. Shit, shit, shit. He thought quickly about whom else he could possibly ask; it was difficult, as most of his friends had pretty much written him off lately. Then, an image of Ellie popped into his head and he grabbed his mobile to retrieve the number he had programmed in.

"Hi, Ellie," he said in a rush when she answered her phone, "it's Michael here. Remember that babysitting you offered?"




Hope Ch. 01



She listened, as he explained the predicament he was in.

"Sure, no problem," she said. "Give me your address and I'll be straight over."

She was true to her word, duly arriving within half an hour with a small carrier bag in her hand. "Sorry, I couldn't resist when I saw this the other day," she explained sheepishly pulling out a pretty outfit for Hope.

Sitting down on the rug beside Hope, she looked around the spacious room curiously. It was tastefully decorated in beige tones, but it felt a little impersonal. She wasn't sure why exactly, but the lack of any family photos was strange. 

"I shouldn't be too late," explained Michael, while trying unsuccessfully to fasten his gold cuff links in a hurry. He swore softly when they refused to close.

"Here, let me do it," said Ellie without thinking. She calmly fastened them for him and then straightened his tie.

He suddenly looked at her properly for the first time since she'd arrived at his house. Her dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore no make-up. She was dressed casually in scruffy jeans and a loose sweatshirt, yet she managed to look appealing to him. 

With a start, Michael realised how pretty she was. Up until this moment, his only perception of her had been that she was Lisa's friend. Now, he began to see her as an attractive woman; it was unsettling. 

"Is everything ok?" she asked curiously.

Belatedly, he realised he had been staring at her. He pulled back hurriedly. "Yeah, thanks," he said a bit gruffly. "Hell, I better go or I'm going to be late. Are you sure you'll be all right? Feeds are in the fridge and help yourself to anything you want."

"We'll be fine, won't we, Hope?" Ellie said soothingly. Hope gurgled as if agreeing with her. She kicked her chubby little legs about and Michael relaxed slightly.

The taxi beeped its horn outside. "Okay, I'm off now." He grabbed his jacket and house keys. "Ring me, if you have any problems." He was suddenly anxious to leave. Ellie made him nervous for some strange reason.

She, once again, assured him she would be fine and so he left, aware that if he didn't ask the taxi driver to put his foot down, he would probably miss the starter.

Ellie locked the door behind him. She wondered why Michael had looked at her funny when she fastened his cuff links. She shook her head, dismissing the errant thought as Hope began to cry. It was time to fetch a bottle of milk from the kitchen. 

* * *

Michael walked in through his front door expecting to hear an all too familiar wailing. Instead, the house was silent but for the muted sound of the television in the living room. His head was slightly woolly from too much wine and he could feel a headache coming on rapidly. 

Apart from eating and drinking too much, the evening hadn't gone too badly. The client had seemed receptive to his proposals and he felt fairly sure that at least some business might be heading their way soon. Time would tell. At this moment, he didn't give a toss in all honesty. He was beginning to think that there was far more to life than work.

After putting his shoes and coat away, he headed down the hall, towards the living room to see Ellie. For some reason, she had appeared in his thoughts with alarming regularity all evening and he still wasn't sure why. God knew he had enough on his plate without adding a relationship into the potent mix. 

The room was in semi darkness when he walked in. The lamp in the corner had been switched on, but the only other light was from the television. Ellie was curled up on the sofa, her legs tucked beneath her in a cat-like fashion. Michael was about to say something, when he realised she was fast asleep. 

She looked so young lying there with her hair spread out across the cushions - certainly nowhere near the thirty-something he knew she was. He bent down and gently shook her shoulder, catching a faint wisp of floral perfume. She stirred a little and opened her eyes blearily, looking slightly confused for a moment.

Then, she suddenly realised where she was. "Oh God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep!" she apologised.

Her cheek was pink and creased where the edge of the cushion had left its mark. Michael felt his eyes drawn there, assailed by a sudden urge to rub the area with his thumb. He looked away quickly and examined what was playing on the television. "Have I missed anything interesting?" he asked politely, a slow throbbing headache beginning to bite right behind his temple.

"No, not really. Once Hope settled, I switched it on, but I guess I zonked out almost immediately!" She rubbed her eyes ruefully.

"Did she go down alright?" Hope seemed the safest subject to talk about while he was feeling this way.

Ellie stood. "She was great -- didn't give me any bother."

Michael was amazed. "Really?" he said in disbelief.

"Really! I bathed her, fed her and then read some stories while she lay in her cot. She nodded off quite quickly."

"Maybe it's me then," he said, tiredness suddenly hitting him hard. It was horribly disheartening to hear that the baby who screamed the place down nightly had been an absolute angel for somebody else. 

"Hey, don't be silly! Anyone can see you're doing a wonderful job in very difficult circumstances."

Michael raised one eyebrow sceptically. "You think?"

"Yes, I do think," she replied firmly. 

Then why do I feel so fucking useless half of the time? 

Ellie must have seen his dejected expression for she stepped close and gave him an impulsive hug, throwing her arms around his neck in sympathy. The gesture took Michael completely by surprise. Her slight body pressed against him and her hair tickled his nose for a few precious seconds.

Almost without his realising, his hands moved to hold her, but she jumped away abruptly with a stricken look. "I'm so sorry," she apologised, her cheeks flushing deep pink with embarrassment. "I shouldn't have done that."

Michael reached forward and grasped her arm. "Don't be sorry, I'm glad you did." He rubbed his temple, as he tried to find the right words through the fog that threatened to close his brain down for the night. "It's been a while since anybody hugged me," he admitted. He was aware that he sounded deeply tragic, but suddenly did not care all that much.

Ellie's face registered empathy and something else he couldn't fathom. He just hoped it wasn't pity -- he couldn't cope with that at the moment.

"Me too," she admitted with a sad smile.

"I spent the last decade married to the ice queen -- what's your excuse?" Michael found it difficult to believe that this lovely woman didn't have a boyfriend. 

"Bad luck I guess." She shrugged. "There was somebody, but it didn't work out and, well, I haven't bothered looking since. Anyway, I'm talking rubbish. You must be shattered and I should get home." 

"Sleep deprivation is a way of life."

Ellie grabbed her bag and coat. "Take advantage of the peace then!" She grinned and Michael felt relieved that the awkwardness of the previous few minutes appeared to have vanished. 

"Thanks, you know, for tonight," Michael said as they stood on the threshold of his front door. Outside, the sky was clear; hundreds of twinkling stars were visible despite the glow from the street lamps.

"That's okay," Ellie said. "It was my pleasure. Anytime you need me, just holler."

"How about next Saturday night?" The words were out before Michael had a chance to think it through.

Ellie had turned to go, but she paused in response to Michael's invitation. "Do you have to work again?" she asked.

"No, I just wondered if you fancied coming over and having some tea with us?"

She hesitated. Michael thought for a horrible moment that he'd overstepped the mark, but, then, she smiled and he exhaled with relief.

"Sure," she said, "I'd love to!"

"Great! Is six o'clock okay? I know it's early, but I don't want to keep Hope up too late." 

"No, that's fine, is there anything you need me to bring?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"Okay. I'll see you on Saturday." She disappeared down the drive towards her parked car. Michael watched until she had safely driven away. He couldn't help wondering what had prompted the invitation -- it hadn't been his intention at all. 

But, he reasoned, Hope liked Ellie and he sure as hell needed some adult company outside of the office. Ellie was fun to be around and there was nothing wrong with them becoming friends. He firmly dismissed any nagging doubts as to his motives and headed off to bed, hoping that he might grab a few uninterrupted hours of sleep, before Hope awoke again.

* * *

Ellie jumped off the bus and looked up at the leaden sky dubiously. Judging by the black clouds congregating right above her head, it was about to tip it down. Just marvellous when my car is in the garage for the millionth time this month, she thought crossly. Catching buses was all very well, but Michael's house was not on a main bus route. She knew he would have picked her up if she'd asked him, but she was much too proud to ask.

As large spats of water began to rain down on her, she soon regretted her decision. By the time she arrived on his doorstep, her carefully styled hair was dripping and she was under no illusions that she looked in any way hot.

Michael looked suitably horrified when he opened the door and saw her dishevelled state. Hurriedly stepping to one side, he gestured for Ellie to step inside the hall.

"Please don't tell me you walked here in this?" He looked past her at the rain that was now sheeting it down and firmly closed the door on it.

"Kind of," she said cagily, realising that he was probably going to shout at her. "My car's in the garage again, so I caught the bus."

"WHY? I'd have picked you up!"

"I didn't want to put you to any trouble."

"Well too late! Now, you're dripping all over my expensive wooden floor and it's not looking good." He tutted and then grinned at her disarmingly to show that he was joking.

"Seriously though, you can't stay in those wet clothes -- I'll go and dig out something for you to change into. You can throw your stuff in the tumble dryer."

He left Ellie standing in the hallway, feeling like a little kid again. As she looked around and wished she'd had the sense to take a taxi instead, she heard Hope wailing. Following the noise, she walked through into the kitchen. Hope was lying in a rocker chair, sniffling pitifully.

"Shhh!" Ellie said soothingly.

The baby broke off mid sob and bestowed upon her a beaming smile.

"You're such an attention seeker!" laughed Ellie with delight.

"Isn't she just?" Michael agreed dryly. He held out some clothes and said, "I know these are gonna be too big, but they're not dripping wet at least. You know where the bathroom is?"

Ellie took the proffered items and said, "Yeah, thanks, I'll try not to make any more mess!" She blew a kiss at Hope and made her way to the guest bathroom on the first floor. Once inside the large room, she closed the door and examined the clothes he'd lent her.

The shirt looked like it was one of his -- it was rather large -- but the cotton trousers were definitely female sizing, albeit a little roomy around the waist and far too long. Gritting her teeth, Ellie stripped off and tried the garments on. There was no full-length mirror, but she knew she probably looked like a bag lady. The shirt drowned her and the trousers hung off her narrow hips.

Oh well, she thought philosophically, it isn't like this is a date or anything. Michael probably didn't give two hoots what she looked like. She picked up her wet jeans and top, and walked back downstairs, following the appetising smell of dinner cooking.

Her stomach rumbled loudly, as she re-entered the large kitchen. Michael stood beside the hob, stirring something in a pan. "The tumble dryer is through there," he said, pointing towards a door at the far end of the room. "Just bung them in - they shouldn't take too long to dry."

"I hope you aren't vegetarian or anything," he called as she shoved her wet clothes into the drum and turned the machine on to what she hoped was the right setting.

"No, definitely not," she yelled back. The dryer began to tumble and Ellie decided it didn't need supervision, so she walked back into the kitchen.

"Here -- you may as well have some wine seeing as you're not driving." Michael handed her a glass of red wine and she sipped it dubiously. Normally, she didn't drink much of anything -- especially wine -- but she soon decided this wine was actually rather good. Certainly better than the cheap stuff she had had in the past.

"What are you cooking?" Ellie asked curiously, as he pulled a tray of bread out of the oven.

"Pasta Bolognese," he said with his back to her. "Even I can't go wrong with that!"

Ellie laughed. "I'm sure you're a better cook than I am," she grinned, taking another large gulp of the wine. This really is good, she thought with enjoyment.

"Hmm, I doubt that," Michael replied dryly. 

Light music played in the background. As they chatted easily, Michael finished concocting his pasta sauce. Eventually, he threw the spaghetti in a pan of boiling water and poured himself another glass of wine.

"Refill?" he asked when he saw Ellie had finished hers too.

"Yes, please, this wine is lovely."

"Expensive wine always tastes better," he told her with a grin. "Right, the pasta is almost ready, so we can eat -- assuming there are no interruptions from a certain demanding young lady."

They both looked sideways at Hope, who was currently entertaining herself with a toy. She smiled back at them innocently. "Gagagaga!"

"Butter wouldn't melt, eh?" Michael said with a laugh.

Dinner passed uneventfully. Hope seemed happy to watch and listen to the conversation that flitted between work, films and other light topics. As much as Ellie was curious to find out more about Michael's life, she was loath to ask any questions that might have been deemed too personal. Only once did he mention his estranged wife. 

"It's from Helen. She's in Cuba at the moment," he said when Ellie commented on the postcard that sat beside the microwave.

"When's she back?" asked Ellie, thinking that it must be nice to flit around the world unhindered by things like 'money' and 'responsibilities'. She didn't understand why the wife whom Michael was divorcing felt the need to send him postcards? It was completely incomprehensible.

"No idea," Michael said a little sharply. "Probably when she has run out of cash." 

Ellie decided not to mention Helen again. It was clearly a sore subject. "Shall I wash the dishes?" she asked lightly, wishing she had kept her mouth shut.

"No, I have a dishwasher, but thanks anyway." Feeling superfluous, Ellie went back into the living room and sat with Hope until Michael reappeared.

"I need to put Hope down now," he said. "If I leave her any longer, she'll be beyond tired."

"Let me do that while you sit down," Ellie suggested kindly. The dinner had been lovely and she felt the need to help in some small way. Besides, her head was rapidly becoming fuzzy after three glasses of wine. "I know where everything is and Hope settled for me last time."

"Sure, if you don't mind," Michael replied gratefully. He flopped down on the sofa and poured the rest of the wine into their glasses. 

"No, of course I don't mind." She picked the baby up and took her upstairs. When eventually Hope was settled, Ellie came back downstairs to find Michael watching television.

"Everything okay?" he asked quickly.

"Yeah fine," Ellie said reassuringly. She glanced at her watch and realised that time was running away with her. 

"Listen, thanks for the dinner, it's been really nice, but I ought to go now. I'm sure you would like some peace and quiet."

Michael looked surprised. "You don't need to rush off yet, do you?" he said. "Stay awhile and keep me company...unless you have something important to do."

"Only ironing," she replied.

He patted the sofa beside him. "Then, take a seat and I'll see what films are on." 

Ellie decided not to argue. She wasn't really in a rush to go home anyhow; it was the first evening in ages that she'd had company. Although she had plenty of friends who regularly invited her out, since Lisa's death, she hadn't made much of an effort. 

"Here, drink this and then I'll go open another bottle." He passed over her glass and Ellie took it warily. She wasn't sure that drinking any more wine was such a great idea; the last thing she needed was to make a complete fool of herself.

But she drank it anyway. It was too good to waste. The leather sofa was very comfortable and Ellie sank back into the cushions. The loose trousers she'd been loaned felt a little tighter around the waist now that she'd eaten a huge portion of pasta, but the shirt still gaped open. In fact, it gaped open rather a lot. When she happened to glance down during the commercial break, she realised to her embarrassment that half of her cleavage was exposed. Thankfully, Michael didn't appear to have noticed.

The film was interesting, but the wine was having a soporific effect and Ellie found her attention wandering. Michael appeared engrossed in the action on screen and she took the opportunity to glance at him discretely.

Dressed casually in jeans and a sports tee shirt, he looked very attractive to her in her inebriated state. Not that she found him unattractive when she was sober, she added silently - far from it, in fact. 

He absently rubbed his thigh before taking another sip of wine. Helplessly, her eyes were drawn to the spot where he had rubbed. Taut muscle indicated he exercised regularly and Ellie couldn't help but wonder what the rest of his body was like. Fit and toned, she guessed.

When he unexpectedly turned to ask her if she wanted anything else to eat, she was caught staring. She blushed fiery red.

"Err...no, thanks," she coughed, gulping some more wine down in the hope that he wouldn't notice her pink cheeks in the dimly lit room. "But I will just nip to the bathroom while the adverts are on." She felt suddenly claustrophobic, despite the size of the room. "While I'm there, I'll look in on Hope," she added hurriedly.

"Okay," Michael said. "I'm going to make coffee -- do you want some?"

"Yes, please," replied Ellie as she stood, slightly wobbling. Black coffee might help sober me up, she added silently. "Black without," she told him.

By the time she returned to the living room, her coffee was waiting on the table and the film was back on. Taking the coffee gratefully, she took a huge gulp, burning her lip in the process.

"Watch out - it's hot," commented Michael dryly when he heard her gasp. "Was Hope okay?"

"Fast asleep," confirmed Ellie. 

He nodded and returned to watching the film. The final climactic scenes were playing on screen, but although Ellie tried to pay attention, she found her gaze drawn back to Michael repeatedly. His profile was perfect, she decided. Straight nose and strong jaw line. His hair needed a cut, but apart from that, he looks pretty damned hot, she thought wistfully. It was a pity she wasn't interested in him.

When the credits finally began to roll, Ellie stood hurriedly. It was high time she rang for a taxi. Any longer and she was in danger of drooling. She needed to change back into her clothes and leave, now, before she said or did anything she might regret. 

But before she had a chance to tell him her plan, Michael grabbed the two empty mugs and disappeared into the kitchen. Feeling wrong footed, Ellie glanced around the room, but there was no sign of a telephone she could use. Whilst she had her mobile in her bag, the battery was virtually dead and the chances were good that if she tried to make a call, it would die completely.




Hope Ch. 01



Anyway, she needed to retrieve her clothes first. She could ask to use the phone after she had changed. Wishing she hadn't drank quite so much wine, Ellie walked a little unsteadily towards the kitchen. She didn't see the small plastic toy abandoned on the floor and when her foot caught it, she stumbled slightly, falling forwards - right into Michael's arms as he reappeared.

"Hey, careful!" he said, grabbing her around the waist easily.

"I err..." She stared into his eyes and instantly lost the plot. It was hard to explain how it happened, but suddenly they were kissing, their mouths locked together passionately as Michael held her tightly.

She knew it was wrong, but the alcohol flowing through her blood stream blocked all of the stop signals that her brain was furiously broadcasting. He tasted divine. All coffee and wine and something else masculine that was addictive. Ellie couldn't remember the last time that she'd been kissed like this. The more she thought about it, the more she realised that she had NEVER been kissed like this.

His hands slid up her ribcage and she moaned softly, pressing against his hard body as heat flooded her with a desperate desire for more than just kisses. God! She wanted this man! Ellie threaded her hands through his hair, luxuriating in the thickness as she traced the curve of his jaw. 

They moved and she felt the edge of the sofa against her legs. Losing her balance, she fell backwards onto the cushions and pulled Michael with her. Reason and common sense seemed to have deserted her; all she could think about was the ardent hunger infecting her body with aching need. 

Michael sprawled on top of her, their lips still locked together. She ran her hands down his back, feeling the muscles beneath his tee shirt. Rough denim scraped the soft skin of her stomach as her loose shirt rode up her body, helped in no small way by Michael's exploration. When he found the curve of her breast, she moaned and pushed her tormented flesh against his fingers. 

He broke the kiss. He growled with impatience when her bra thwarted his attempts to access her breasts. The shirt she wore was roughly pulled apart and tiny buttons pinged off like Frisbees. Ellie didn't care; she was desperate for him to touch her. Once the shirt was pulled away, he slid her bra strap down one shoulder and exposed her creamy mound for his attention.

Ellie groaned with pleasure when she felt his mouth on her swollen, aching nipple. The gentle sucking sensation sent shivers through her sensitised body, further inflaming her desire. She writhed against him, grasping his hips as she tried to convey what she needed. 

But he wasn't to be hurried. He transferred his attention to the other breast, licking and stroking her nipple, before kissing the soft skin of her throat. He moved up and found her mouth again, kissing her intensely, their tongues duelling.

She felt the trousers she wore being pushed down and his fingers slipping inside the stretchy waistband. Her tiny cotton shorts were soaked with arousal. She didn't think she'd ever been this turned on. When his fingers slid inside her wet channel, she thrust her hips up, bucking against him. 

The trousers were pushed further down her legs and she tried to kick them off. Eventually, she succeeded and the offending garment fell to the floor as Michael stroked her sex, rubbing her swollen clit until she could hardly breathe. 

"Ohh..." she gasped as he rubbed harder. She could feel her orgasm about to explode, as the pressure built inside. Reaching down, she cupped her breasts, tugging the hard nubs of her nipples. 

With a cry, she came hard. All the pent up tension released and sent ripples of ecstasy spiralling through her body. For a few heady moments, she lost all sense of time and place. The only thing she sensed was the feeling of Michael's fingers inside her, as her body clenched spasmodically around them.

But this wasn't enough -- she needed to feel him inside her. Tugging at his trousers, she yanked the zip down as he lifted his hips. It took no effort to release his cock from the confines of his clothing and she was gratified to see how hard and thick he was. Pulling his tee shirt up, she nibbled his tiny nipples as she took hold of his cock in her small hand.

When her leg hooked over his thigh, he slid inside her. She was so wet from her orgasm that she accommodated his girth with no effort at all. For a second, they looked at each other, but it was too intense and Ellie closed her eyes. She couldn't think right now. All she was capable of was feeling. The pleasure and the intimacy of this moment was all that mattered. 

He slid on top of her and pulled her leg up so he could move even deeper within her. Their skin was slick with sweat where they touched, creating a delicious friction as they moved together towards an inevitable climax.

Ellie gripped his shoulders and buried her face in his neck, kissing and biting the salty skin. She was aware she was digging her nails in too hard, but she couldn't help it; something wild held her in its manic thrall. 

Michael's breathing was harsh in her ear and she knew this wasn't going to last long. He thrust hard and deep inside her, touching every sensitive part of her as he moved. His lips found hers. They kissed sensuously, before he broke away and gasped as he grabbed her hip and drove into her.

Ellie felt him come, the heat flooding her inside. It was enough to trigger another orgasm and she shuddered as she came again. They stayed locked together, long after the mind numbing bliss had faded into sepia tones. Eventually, Michael reached up and pulled down the blanket from the back of the sofa. It covered them both as they drifted off into sleep.

* * * 

It was a few hours later when Michael woke. For a minute, he couldn't work out where in the hell he was. There was a blanket wrapped around his semi nude body and he felt vaguely chilled. He could hear Hope crying from far away and he tried to sift through the fog in his mind.

Then, everything fell into place. The sofa beside him was empty -- Ellie was gone. With a groan, he closed his eyes and fell back onto the cushions. Oh God. What had he done? Last night was not meant to happen like that. It had never been his intention to seduce Ellie. 

Hope's crying grew ever louder. With a sigh of resignation, he hauled his body up. Pulling his clothes back on, he wearily headed into the kitchen to fetch a bottle. Now was not the time to do a post mortem on the events of last night. He was too tired to think straight. Maybe tomorrow it would all make perfect sense; but he doubted it.

"I'm coming, Hope," he muttered as he climbed the stairs. 

* * *

Chapter 2 will follow shortly. Thanks for reading ~ Rach



Hope Ch. 02



The text on his computer screen kept blurring, as Michael stared at it in a zombie-like fashion. Eventually, he cursed and pushed the keyboard away. He returned to staring at his mobile instead. The house was blissfully silent; Hope was asleep upstairs and he was meant to be writing yet another report for tomorrow's meeting. Instead, he sat at the table, unable to write the goddamned thing.

He knew he needed to talk to Ellie, but he didn't know what he could say that would make things right. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed last night -- he had -- but the fact that she'd left in the middle of the night indicated to him that she saw it as a huge mistake. Now, he felt like a total bastard for taking advantage of her when she was drunk. 

It had never been his intention to be anything other than friends with her. Despite the simmering attraction between them, he wasn't ready for a relationship. There were too many complications in his life right now, not least of them Helen. He just hoped that he hadn't blown things with Ellie completely. It was obvious how much she adored Hope. 

He sighed. It was now or never. If he didn't make some kind of effort to make amends, then he would lose his nerves and so would Ellie. Picking up his mobile, he dialled her home number.

It rang...and rang. Eventually, an answering service picked up the call and a disembodied voice told him to leave a message after the tone.

"Hi, Ellie...it's Michael. We need to talk about...stuff. Can you give me a ring, please?" He hung up feeling like a love struck teenager. If she didn't return his call, he was screwed 

* * *

Ellie sat on her sofa listening to Michael's voice on her answer machine. She exhaled shakily, when the machine clicked off as soon as the call ended. Just the simple act of listening to his voice made her grow warm and tingly. Oh, she had it bad!

But last night was a huge mistake. She'd realised that, when she awoke from a brief sleep, still wrapped in Michael's arms. The alcohol had worn off and she felt lousy despite the way her body was still humming from the best sex she'd ever had. 

She was lying beside him, swearing silently. Michael was Lisa's man -- that was an inescapable fact. Lisa might not be here any more, but Ellie still felt loyalty to her friend and sleeping with her man wasn't right. No, she had to forget about Michael. It wasn't going to be easy, but it was her only option. 

She thumped the cushions with frustration. How could she have been so stupid! It was the last time she was ever going to drink wine. It was fortunate that Michael had stayed blissfully asleep when she prised herself from his arms in order to make a quick getaway. That had been the hardest thing to do. The way his arms felt around her had been wonderful. She had really wanted to stay there...but she couldn't. She wouldn't.

Once she'd retrieved her clothes, she carefully unlocked the door and let herself out into the cold night. She locked the door again and pushed the key through the letterbox. It was a long walk into town, but it felt like a deserved penance for her sin. By the time she waved down a passing taxi, it was ridiculously late and all she wanted to do was fall into bed.

Even then, sleep eluded Ellie. Not until the sun peeked over the line of trees behind her house did she finally drift off, but it wasn't a particularly restful sleep as arousing images of their love making continued to haunt her dreams. By the time she awoke again, the sheets were tangled up and she felt like death. The only positive note was that it was Sunday and she didn't have to go to work. 

Not that she did anything useful all afternoon. Everywhere she turned, she was reminded of the disastrous evening with Michael. Her small carrier bag in the hallway had some cute baby clothes inside. The plan had been to take them over next time she saw Michael and Hope. But there was no chance of that happening now. The idea of never seeing Hope again almost reduced Ellie to tears. 

In an attempt to distract herself from endless self-flagellation, Ellie flopped on the sofa and watched a mindless film. Or she had been watching it until Michael had interrupted with a message on her answer machine. Now all she could do was stew again. Damn him. Why couldn't he have left her alone? DAMN HIM!

* * *

The street was teeming with pedestrians, but Michael barely noticed. His head was filled with work rubbish as he wandered past endless shops in the general direction of his bank. The day had dawned bright and sunny, but his mood had been a reflection of miserable winter, not optimistic spring. 

He still hadn't heard from Ellie, unfortunately. As the days passed, he felt more and more certain that she was not going to contact him. He had thought of ringing her again in the hope that she would answer this time. But, so far, he hadn't. The truth was that he hoped she would ring him -- that way, he would know she didn't completely hate him.

Without realising it, Michael found himself outside the café where he had originally met Ellie after Lisa's death. It made him catch his breath for a second, as he relived that awful moment when he heard the news. On an impulse, he swung in through the door as the spicy scent of coffee assailed his nostrils. He didn't have much time, but he needed a break anyway. So, it may as well be in here.

The girl on the counter was a less abrasive version of the blonde from his previous visit. She smiled pleasantly as she took his order. Once the coffee was ready, he paid the girl and turned to carry his mug across to a window table.

Ellie lifted her head from her newspaper. She stared in horror just at the moment their eyes locked. For an infinitesimal few seconds, they both froze. Was it fate had brought them here all over again? 

Well, Michael was not going to pretend he hadn't seen her. 

"Hi," he said brightly, as he sat down opposite her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked bluntly. 

"Same as you probably - drinking coffee?" This wasn't going well. She seemed hostile and he wondered what he could possibly say that might help him make amends.

"Sorry," he apologised eventually.

She jerked her head up in surprise. "What?"

"I said 'sorry'. I feel like I've screwed things up -- and I never meant to do that."

Ellie looked away and Michael felt his heart sink lower. It was blatantly obvious that she didn't believe a word of his apology. In all honesty, who could blame her?

"It wasn't your fault," she said eventually. "I behaved badly too. I should have known better than to drink red wine." 

"You didn't behave badly!" This was ridiculous. Why on earth was she blaming herself? 

"Yes I did. It should never have happened. Lisa is..." Ellie corrected herself quickly, "...WAS my friend. It wouldn't be right."

Michael could see where she was coming from, but he felt she had it all wrong. "Lisa isn't here anymore," he told her gently. God knew he was reminded of that every time he saw their daughter. "Blaming yourself for us getting together is daft. I accept that it probably shouldn't have happened for OTHER reasons -- and none of them are to do with you! But it did and we need to talk about it.

"Friday night was the most fun I've had in a long time. I enjoyed your company very much. As for what happened after, well, I didn't expect that to happen, but it did. And if I'm honest, it was pretty amazing." 

Ellie stared at him intensely. She seemed to be trying to decide if he was lying, but eventually she allowed a wan smile to light up her eyes. "Amazing, huh?" she said softly.

"Amazing," he reiterated before reaching out and taking her hand in his. "I continue to blame myself for a lot of things," he said, "but that night with you is not one of those things. Irrespective of what happens next, I want us to remain friends."

"If you want," Ellie replied nonchalantly. 

He still wasn't yet sure that everything was going to be okay, but, at least, she was talking to him now. It was a big improvement on the situation of an hour ago. He drank the rest of his coffee and glanced at his watch. "I gotta go -- I have a meeting at two."

"Okay," she said.

"I'll call you," he promised as he left. "Hope wants to see you soon!"

"And so do I," he added with a grin, as he jogged back down the street towards the bank.

* * *

Ellie tried to concentrate on her work, but it was impossible. All she could think about was Michael and what was going to happen between them. Sure, they could be friends as he suggested, but would that really work?

As she mulled it over, she found her thoughts drifting back to Lisa again. Obviously, she had cared about Michael very much. Even a brief glimpse of the letters she'd found told Ellie that much. The question was - how had Michael felt about Lisa? It was a subject they hadn't talked about, so Ellie had no real idea of how serious he had been about Lisa. 

For all Ellie knew, Michael was some kind of Casanova who routinely seduced women and cast them aside when he grew bored. She didn't know him very well when all was said and done. How could she trust a word he said?

If they saw each other again -- and Ellie knew she would have to see him for Hope's sake -- she was going to have to get him to talk about his relationship with Lisa. She needed to know how he had felt about her friend. It wasn't as if she could sit down with Lisa over a cup of tea and discuss things. No, she'd never be able to do that again. 

The figures on her spreadsheet blurred as tears formed. Ellie still missed Lisa so much. But she had to move on; as, indeed, they all did - Michael included. When her phone blipped from her bag, she jumped in surprise. Wondering who it could be, she reached down to retrieve it. It was a text message from Michael and she found herself smiling unwillingly, as she read it.

'Thanks for listening. I meant what I said. How about dinner on Friday? - No wine this time!' 

Ellie placed the phone on her desk and stared at it for a long time. She was torn. Dinner seemed too intimate and likely to lead to other things. But if she said no, he would take that as a sign that she was still upset and that she'd read more into their encounter than he had intended. Eventually, she tapped in a brusque reply. 'Ok.'

His reply was immediate. 'I'll call you later.' 

Now, she was committed. But, it would be an opportunity to talk about stuff decided Ellie. There was no reason why they couldn't be friends. Once she had that straight in her mind, she returned her attention to her work and pushed Michael out of her head. Friday was ages away and she had too much work to be worrying about a silly meal.

* * *

Her car was back on the road by Friday night, which gave her a cast iron reason not to drink any alcohol. By the time she pulled up outside Michael's house, her nerve was on the verge of deserting her. A sudden heated memory of him touching her was almost her undoing. The whoosh of heat that flooded her body with arousal made her thighs tremble and her cheeks flame.

For ages, she sat in the dark, trying unsuccessfully to practice relaxation techniques. It was only when she saw the time that she forced her legs to ferry her out from the safety of the car. It was impolite to be late, and good manners were something her mother had drilled into her from an early age. 

She had deliberately dressed down for this meal. Since it was simply a meal with a friend, Ellie had made no effort to look glam in any way. She wore faded jeans and an old tee shirt. There was no way she wanted Michael to think that seduction was on the cards. The only reason she had come tonight was to spend time with Hope. She was fully prepared to be friends with Michael, but nothing more.

"Hey," Michael said when he opened the door. "You managed to avoid the rain tonight, I see," he teased her.

"Ha ha!" she grinned. "My car is out of hospital, so, I had a door-to-door service."

"You could have had that last time, if you weren't so stubborn," he reminded her as she stepped past him and into the hall.

Ellie ignored that comment and went straight into the living room when she heard Hope making noises. The baby was lying on a colourful mat, kicking her legs in the air. She turned her head when she heard Ellie. Her pretty face lit up in a beaming smile.

"Hello, gorgeous - look what Auntie Ellie has for you!" Ellie reached into the bag she was carrying and pulled out a stretchy Barbie pink suit embroidered with cute bunnies. Hope waved her arms with enthusiasm and tried to grab the bag.

"I knew you had excellent taste," laughed Ellie, as she quickly moved the crinkly bag firmly out of reach.

"You shouldn't have," commented Michael when he came back in the room, a tea towel thrown over his shoulder.

"It's only a little something I got in the sale." Ellie shrugged dismissively, before she turned her back on him and concentrated on tickling Hope's toes. The tension between them was still there, simmering away in the background, like a keg of dynamite primed to explode. It seemed easier to focus her attention on Hope rather than deal with Michael. 

Michael folded his arms. He could see that it wasn't 'only a little something'. The label quite clearly announced it had come from one of the expensive baby clothes boutiques in town. However, he wasn't going to risk offending her by saying that, so he let it go. 

"Before I go and finish off the dinner -- would you like a drink or anything?" he asked. He had made a resolution, before Ellie arrived, not to say or do anything that might be construed as provocative in any way.

"I'll have a coke or some other cold drink, please," she said without looking up.

"Okay, I'll go and have a look and see what there is," he replied, before heading back into the sanctuary of the kitchen.

The trouble was, as soon as Ellie had arrived, Michael knew his resolve was going to be sorely tested. She looked incredibly sexy in her faded jeans and tight tee shirt. Her hair was scraped back in a ponytail and she wore no makeup. She looked adorable.

He could see that she felt uncomfortable being in his house again. It was written all over her face the second she stepped through the door. But, if they were going to be friends for Hope's sake, then they needed to behave like adults and move past this awkward bit. 

It was not that easy when the only thought he had, every time he looked at her, was how her mouth had tasted when he kissed her or the sounds she had made when he touched her. Tonight was going to be a whole lot more difficult than he had ever imagined.

Ellie heard the doorbell ring and wondered who might be calling on a Friday night. She was sitting in the armchair, with Hope on her knee. The sofa was better positioned for viewing the television, but Ellie could barely bring herself to look at it. The smooth leather surface reminded her of the way Michael's body had felt beneath her fingertips. It was pure unadulterated torture. 

Instead, she chose to sit in the chair and talk to Hope as she listened to the muted sound of voices from the hallway. After a few moments, the door shut and she heard Michael disappear into the kitchen. Curiosity was just about to propel her after him, when he reappeared in the living room with a tray of drinks and some garlic bread.

"Need a hand?" Ellie asked out of habitual politeness. 

For a second, Michael found himself remembering how she felt against his body and he almost lost the thread of what she had said to him. Then, he berated himself for the ten thousandth time and shook his head. "No, I'm all done," he said hurriedly, before going back to the kitchen.

"Get a grip," he warned his reflection in the window, as he grabbed the food from the worktop and carefully placed two plates on top of the boxes.

"Pizza?" Ellie raised an eyebrow, as Michael came back into the living room and placed the cardboard boxes on the coffee table.

"Yeah, sorry, I exhausted my culinary skills last time you came over."

She burst out laughing and they grinned at each other - the tension between them dissipating somewhat. 

"Now, can I tempt you with vegetable or meat feast?"

"Bit of both, please." Ellie suddenly realised she was starving. She had hardly eaten anything all day; nerves about this evening had given her a queasy stomach for much of the afternoon.

Michael handed her a plate. They ate in companionable silence, while Hope kicked her legs on the floor and MTV played in the background. In time, Hope began to protest at not having anyone's undivided attention. Small whimpers soon became loud wails and Michael put his plate down with a sigh.

"I guess I didn't do so badly," he said ruefully. "I managed to eat most of it!"

"I've finished," said Ellie. "I'll sort her out."

Before Michael could protest, Ellie had scooped the baby up and he was left alone with a selection of eighties rock classics. 

* * *

Hope was lying in her cot, silently staring at the butterfly mobile that spun in languid circles above her head. Her eyes were beginning to close, but still Ellie didn't make a move to leave her. She knelt on the carpet stroking the baby's arm soothingly, whilst wondering how long she could stay up here, safe and out of Michael's way.

Although Hope had been more than ready for bed, Ellie had taken as long as humanly possible to change and feed her. Apart from the fact that she had been in no rush to go downstairs again, she really enjoyed spending the time alone with Hope. In a strange way, it felt like she was close to Lisa. She could almost imagine Lisa with her, watching her from the edge of the room.

She just hoped Lisa hadn't been watching when she had seduced Michael the other night. That thought still made her feel incredibly guilty. Unfortunately, it didn't stop a sharp pang of desire from igniting and she bit her lip painfully in an attempt to quell the unwanted feelings.

The mobile ceased twirling and Ellie saw regretfully that Hope was fast asleep. She knew she ought to go downstairs, before Michael came looking for her, so she stood carefully. Hope didn't stir, as Ellie left the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind her.

When she entered the living room again, she saw that Michael was stretched out on the sofa watching a documentary. He turned when he heard her and said,

"You were gone for ages -- did she make a fuss?"

Ellie crossed her fingers behind her back and replied, "She didn't want me to leave her, so I waited until she fell asleep." Strictly speaking, it wasn't a lie -- Hope was more than happy to have company, while she fell asleep.

He nodded. "Sit down and I'll make us a coffee."

Ellie hesitated and he noticed. "Don't worry -- I won't bite," he said dryly.

She ignored the barb and sat down in the armchair again, anxious not be too close to him. When he returned with two mugs of coffee, she took one and said bluntly,

"We need to talk."

"Wow -- you don't beat around the bush, do you?" Michael said with a surprised look. 

"Not as a rule, no." She sipped the coffee and tried to sort out her chaotic thoughts. Michael stayed silent; evidently, he was waiting for her to make the first move.

Eventually, she spoke. "Tell me about Lisa. Did you love her?"

Michael flinched. For a moment, Ellie wished she had kept her mouth shut. But, then, she reasoned how would she know if their encounter was just another notch on his bedpost?

"Yes," he replied simply. He sank back onto the sofa, his brow furrowed with pain. 

"I loved her very much."

"Then, why didn't you make the effort to be with her when you had the chance?"

"Because of Helen's illness."

Ellie hadn't known this and she felt wrong footed. "What was wrong with her?"




Hope Ch. 02



"Helen told me she had breast cancer. Our marriage had been over for a long time, but when she told me about the diagnosis, I couldn't just walk out on her. I decided to try again with her and stay -- to help her deal with everything. Of course, at that point, I had no idea she lying to me.

Ellie stared at him in shock. "What are you saying?" she asked in disbelief, "that she made it all up?"

Michael laughed bitterly. "Yes, she'd concocted the whole story to keep me. I would still be in the dark, if it weren't for a chance meeting in a supermarket. 

"She was meant to be at the hospital for a check-up. I wanted to go with her, but she didn't let me -- she said she needed to be alone. Unfortunately for her, this time she'd told me her friend, Clare, was driving her there.

"Only Clare just happened to be in the supermarket when I went in for some shopping..."

Ellie was struggling to comprehend the scale of the lie his wife had told him. It was like something off Oprah. 

"Clare seemed rather surprised when I asked her how come she wasn't at the hospital with Helen. She said she didn't know what I was talking about. So, I filled her in on a few things and between us we worked the rest out."

"How did you confront Helen?" Ellie asked.

His mouth curled in a caricature of a smile, but his eyes were stone cold. "I waited for her to come home and go off on her usual spiel about treatment plans and medication. Then, I told her I knew she was lying.

"At first, she tried to brazen it out, but when she realised I'd spoken to Clare, the party was over. We had tears and recriminations. She blamed me of course -- said it was all my fault for having an affair and what else was she meant to do?" 

Michael buried his face in his hands, as he recalled the screaming hysterics. It had been a horrible nightmare, one that he never hoped to live through again.

"But, by then, it was all too late. Lisa was long gone and although I tried to find her, she had disappeared. I had to live with the loss every single day. God knows if I'd had any idea of how things would turn out, I would have done it all differently."

"But, you didn't know," Ellie reminded him softly. "No one knows what's going to happen in the future. Well, not unless we're psychic!" 

He smiled faintly at her terrible attempt to lighten the moment. "Why does it matter whether or not I loved Lisa?" 

"Because...I need to know if..." Ellie was the one who turned away now. She was starting to feel uncertain whether this conversation was going the way she had intended. "I need to know if the other night meant anything -- or if it was just a 'quick fling'."

"Ellie, come over here." Michael patted the sofa beside him and fixed her with a firm look.

"Why?" 

"Don't be so bloody stubborn!" 

She sensed that they were on the verge of something here, and that scared her shitless. Nevertheless, she pushed her doubts aside and left the safety of the armchair for the enemy territory of the sofa. 

"Right, here I am," she said nervously as she sat next to Michael, acutely aware of his thigh almost touching her denim-clad leg.

"Okay, just for the record, I am not the kind of bloke who engages in casual sex," he said seriously. "What happened between us was unexpected. But, from my perspective, it was a whole lot more than a casual fling. Now, if you strongly regret it and never want to repeat the experience, well, I'll understand."

Ellie was lost for words, as they sat staring at each other in silence. She could feel the tension in his body and felt pretty much the same way. He had given her a way out of the situation -- all she had to do was to agree that it had been a hideous mistake and that they would never mention it again. 

"I...just..." Her thoughts kept returning to Lisa. He had hurt her friend badly, so what was to stop him doing the same to her? "You scare me," she admitted finally.

Michael looked perplexed. "Why?"

"Because I don't want to be hurt again!" 

He pulled her close and she slowly relaxed and allowed herself to be held. "If there's one thing I've learned from this mess," he whispered in her ear, "it's that we should live life for the moment, because we never know what's around the corner."

He had a point there, she thought. She could walk across the street tomorrow and be hit by a bus. 

"I won't deny that my life isn't complicated at the moment," he told her, "but it doesn't mean that I'm not willing to give it a go if you are."

"I don't like complicated," Ellie said as she felt his lips touch her neck.

"Then, we'll just have to keep it simple for now," Michael said huskily. He kissed the delicate skin beneath her ear lobe and she shivered. She arched her back and leaned into him, aware that her nipples were hardening through the cotton of her tee shirt. 

When his hand crept up her side towards her breasts, she felt desire kick her in the stomach like a mule. Already, she was aching, desperate for more than he was giving her. Abruptly, he pulled away and she was left bereft and throbbing with unrequited lust.

"If this is what you want, then I need to know something," he said gravely.

"What?" she said breathlessly. Her chest heaved up and down rapidly, as she fought to contain her growing arousal. 

"Am I going to wake up alone again?"

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry..." she said, lowering her gaze under the weight of his stare. "I thought you'd think I was a total slut for behaving the way I did."

"I would never think that," he reassured her gently. "So, are you going to answer my question?"

"Do you want me to stay?" 

"Yes, I want you to." 

"Okay..."

Michael grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the sofa. "Upstairs, second door on the left. I just need to switch the lights off and lock up." He kissed her lingeringly, before swatting her bottom and shoving her towards the stairs.

She took the hint and made her way upstairs. Nervous butterflies were dancing the tango in her stomach. The last time had happened so quickly, she hadn't had the chance to think about the consequences of her actions. This time, despite her arousal, she couldn't help but worry that she was making a huge mistake...again.

Michael's bedroom was spacious and stylish. It was more stylish than her modest room. She walked across the plush pile carpet and stood near the window, listening for the sound of Michael ascending the stairs. There were lamps beside the bed, but she didn't switch them on; the moonlight shining in through the windows provided plenty of illumination.

She gazed out into the darkness of the garden, musing on how she had found herself at this point. It was certainly unexpected. After her last failed relationship, she had sworn that the single life was for her. Lisa, of course, had vehemently disagreed.

"You just haven't met the right man!" she had insisted. "Trust me, he's out there."

"Yeah right -- more likely Mr Right is banged up in a maximum security prison serving life!"

"No he isn't, don't be so cynical! I promise you, he'll come along when you're least expecting it." Lisa had smiled enigmatically at her. Now, Ellie wondered if her friend had been somehow privy to extra information from above.

Well, Michael might not be Mr Right, but at least he had reminded her she was still alive. When she felt him move up behind her and slip his arms around her waist, she shivered with renewed desire. His hands found the gentle swell of her breasts through her tee shirt and she pushed her bottom against the hard heat of his groin.

His lips caressed her neck, nibbling the skin gently as he stroked the hard tips of her nipples. Ellie felt like she was on fire. She tried to remember why she had fought this, but failed miserably. This wasn't wrong -- nothing that felt this good could possibly be wrong.

When Michael pulled her tee shirt up, she didn't protest. It was yanked over her head, revealing her plain white bra. His fingertips traced exquisite paths of pleasure across her skin.

Her nipples ached, eager for his touch. He slid a hand inside the cotton of her bra and she gasped out loud, closing her eyes and concentrating on the sensation of his fingers caressing her sensitive flesh. 

She could feel his erection pressing into her bottom and she pushed back, harder. His harsh gasp in her ear told her that he was just as aroused as she. This gave her a certain amount of satisfaction. 

Her bra was unclipped and the fabric fell away, dropping to the floor and leaving her naked from the waist up. She could faintly see her reflection in the dark glass she faced. The sight of Michael's hands roaming across her body was an immense turn on.  

She felt like a voyeur watching another woman being made love to. It felt kind of disconnected, but strangely sensual in a surreal way. As she observed her own image, she saw Michael's hand slide inside the waistband of her jeans. At the same time, she felt the sweet invasion.

His breathing grew harsher in her ear when he felt how wet she was. Impatiently, he unsnapped her jeans and spun her round to face him, urgently claiming her lips in a bruising kiss. Moving his mouth down on a teasingly moist trail, he found her nipples. He sucked them gently, taking the time to give each tender nub his undivided attention.

Ellie clung on to his head, almost insensible with lust. She could feel the tension cranking up inside her, as he slowly kissed his way across her belly. Her jeans were pushed down over her thighs. He looked up at her questioningly, as he stroked the damp fabric of her cotton knickers.

"There's still time to stop," he said, his eyes black in the silvery light.

"Don't stop," she gasped in torment. She needed this so badly; it was like a primal urge infecting her with its potent power.

He smiled and he returned his attention to the trembling apex of her thighs. Ellie moaned helplessly as he pushed a finger inside her knickers, brushing fleetingly across her clit. She bucked against his hand with her orgasm hovering on the periphery of her consciousness; her body was primed to explode any second.

Her juices soaked her underwear and she rested her weight against the wall as her legs threatened to buckle beneath her. She could feel his hot breath against her skin. When he pulled her knickers to one side and she felt his tongue lick her flesh, she nearly melted down.

The sensation of his nimble tongue, coupled with a deft finger slipping inside her heated wetness, pushed her to the edge and beyond. She shuddered in a paroxysm of pleasure as she came. Her whole world shrank to the golden place between her thighs and she was lost in the moment: oblivious to anything beyond the sensations he had invoked within her. 

Slowly, she floated down from the high and squeaked with discomfort when his fingers rubbed her sensitive clit. He took the hint and stood, pulling her hard against his throbbing erection, just to remind her that he was suffering his own delicious discomfort.

They kissed lingeringly and Ellie melted against him. She felt fluid and warm as the spasms continued to flutter through her womb in gentle aftershocks. Gently, she was manoeuvred around until her legs touched the edge of the bed. Michael tugged her jeans off and removed her knickers, before tugging his own clothes off hurriedly.

He joined her on the bed and they lay alongside each other, skin to skin. Ellie could feel his hard cock between them, urgently reminding her that he had yet to be fulfilled. She reached down and grasped the throbbing shaft. Warm wetness coated her fingers, as she held him. Kissing his throat, she slowly slid down the bed, briefly capturing a small nipple between her teeth and tugging it gently. She heard him moan and she smiled triumphantly.

When she reached his cock, she paused and looked up towards his face. He was watching her, his expression a picture of anticipation in the dim light from the window. Feeling the tension in his body, she slowly licked across his shaft and smiled when he jumped slightly.

"Careful," he warned her. "I'm about ready to explode already!"

She smiled and held his length firmly, before enveloping the end of his cock inside her mouth. He tasted divine and she sank lower, trying to take as much of him as she could. His panting told her how much he was enjoying it. So, she continued to move her lips up and down until he grabbed her hair and said,

"Stop!" 

She pulled away, reluctantly, and slid back up his body until she lay astride him. He kissed her, gently tugging her lips with his teeth. She sighed with pleasure when his cock moved against the slippery opening of her sex.

It was all too easy to allow him access into her body. She was so wet that it only took a small movement for his hard length to slide inside her. The sensation of being filled made her gasp with pleasure. She sat up and threw her head back, closing her eyes at the sensory overload. 

Michael reached up and caressed her breasts, tweaking her nipples as she began to rock in slow, sensuous circles. Her hair came loose from the elastic that had held it in place and the strands swept forward in a dark curtain. He took hold of a chunk of it, using it to pull her down, so he could kiss her forcefully while moving inside her.

The slow, languid pace changed to a more urgent one. Michael grabbed her hips and began to thrust harder. He increased the momentum as she held on to his shoulders, her breasts swaying with the force of their coupling.

Ellie felt the friction pushing her close to the edge again and she tensed up as she came again. She was dimly aware of Michael grunting. He felt her body gripping his cock tightly and she felt him thrust hard as he came too. The sweat poured off her as she collapsed on his chest, exhausted and sated.

She was almost asleep when he rolled her on to her side and pulled her close. She felt him kissing her gently, before he moved to cover them both up with the duvet. Blackness descended as his arm snaked around her waist and he spooned behind her. 

* * *

The sun was hitting him square in the eyes when Michael awoke. He felt Ellie's warm body beside him and he smiled. She had been true to her word and not abandoned him this time; for that, he was extraordinarily pleased. 

He was still acutely aware of the many reasons why he shouldn't have followed this road. But, after last night, he didn't care all that much. It had been too long since he'd enjoyed such intimacy and he had missed it. For more years than he could bear to think about, his relationship with Helen had been cold and distant. They had shared a house, but that was about the extent of it. Lisa had been a shining light in a dark world, but fate had been against them.

Until Ellie came along, he had not been looking for another relationship. Although Helen had effectively left him, she still retained enough of an interest in his life to make him think twice about dating again. Technically, they were still married and he didn't want or need the hassle.

But, everything had changed. He suddenly realised that he needed more from his life. Taking on Hope had already forced him to reassess his priorities -- work was no longer his raison d'etre. As much as he'd grown to love Hope, she wasn't enough - he needed intimacy and romantic love, too. 

He also needed sex.

Ellie stirred beside him and he felt her soft bottom pressing against his erection. She murmured when he reached round her slim body and caressed her breast. Her back arched wantonly. He kissed her neck, nibbling the soft skin beneath her ear.

"Morning," he whispered, as she moved against his hard cock. He could have easily slid inside her from this position, but he held his desire in check and resisted the urge. Instead, he pulled her around until they lay facing each other. 

Her eyes were hazy with latent passion and her cheeks were stained with a rosy hue. The sun caught her hair and revealed the warm amber tones within the strands. He reached up to push a few errant curls away from her face.

"Hi," she said huskily.

Her nipples grazed his chest and when he brushed his palm across the hard tips, she moaned faintly in response. He slid a hand between her thighs to find she was already soaking wet and ready for him to take her. But just as he moved with the intention of sinking into her receptive body, they both heard a pitiful cry echoing from down the landing.

"Oh fuck," he groaned. "What amazing timing..."

Ellie raked her nails up his back and giggled. "I can wait," she promised gleefully. 

"I'm just not sure I can," Michael replied, ruefully squeezing his hard cock as he climbed out of bed. 

* * *

Ellie swung her car into Michael's drive and switched the engine off, then smiled when she saw him waving at her through the study window. It was a bank holiday weekend and they were planning on making a trip to the seaside -- weather permitting. Frankly, Ellie didn't care what they did; it was enough just to be with him and Hope. 

She couldn't recall ever having been as happy as she had the last few months. Despite her initial doubts, her relationship with Michael had blossomed into something that had far surpassed her expectations. The evenings and weekends she'd spent with him and Hope had been wonderful. 

The fact that she was witnessing Hope growing up made it even more special. Lisa's little girl was changing so fast; it seemed like every day she achieved a new milestone. Ellie couldn't have been more proud of her, if she'd been Hope's mother. It didn't stop her wishing Lisa could still be here, but at least it helped ease some of the pain.

She grabbed her handbag and jumped out to retrieve her holdall bag from the boot. Just as she was locking the door, a taxi pulled up and a tall woman stepped out. Ellie stared at her curiously, wondering whom the unexpected arrival could be. When the other woman turned to stare back at Ellie with palpable hostility, she suddenly realised who it was.

"I take it you're his new woman friend," the woman spat venomously, as she strode up the driveway with a suitcase in tow. She managed to instil the maximum amount of insult into the words, thus, implying that 'woman friend' was a euphemism for 'whore'. Her blue eyes were positively glacial as she looked at Ellie up and down. 

Ellie could feel her blood begin to boil in her veins. She was just about to toss an acerbic reply back, when Michael flung open the front door. 

"Helen!" he exclaimed in horror. "What are you doing here?" 

"That's not very welcoming, darling,'" replied Helen sarcastically. She turned her back on Ellie, making it quite clear that she saw her as inconsequential. "I received an email from Nadia two days ago, informing me of your new domestic arrangements. So, I managed to get a last minute flight back," continued Helen, ignoring Michael's furious expression.

"Well, it might have been nice if you had let me know your plans," Michael said with great restraint. He could see the look on Ellie's face and wondered what Helen had said before he opened the door.

Although he knew Helen would be back at some point, in his naivety, he had assumed she would give him some notice. That way, he could have prepared Ellie for the bitch that was his wife. 

He stood between Helen and the hallway, praying that Hope didn't start wailing. "Which hotel are you staying at?" he asked pleasantly, waiting for her to kick off at such an outrageous suggestion.

"What?" she spluttered in disgust. "This is still my home too -- I'll bloody well stay here!"

"No, you won't. You may well be entitled to some of the value, but it's my home now. You forfeited all rights to live in this house when you took me for a fool. Or have you forgotten what you did?"

"How dare you—" 




Hope Ch. 02



Predictably, Hope picked that moment to start screaming loudly and Michael sighed inwardly. Ellie immediately came over and stood beside him, squeezing his hand. "I'll deal with her," she said quietly, before stepping into the house.

"You'll be hearing from my lawyer first thing on Tuesday morning!" Helen threw one last acid tinged glare at Michael and then off she flounced, back up the driveway towards the taxi driver who had been watching with an expression of great interest during the altercation.

She negotiated with him for a moment, before climbing back in. In a cloud of fumes, the car shot back down the road before disappearing out of sight. Michael breathed a sigh of relief.

"That went well," he said to himself before retrieving Ellie's bag from the drive. 

Ellie was sitting with a snuffling Hope in the kitchen and cuddling the baby tightly. "I think the shouting upset her," she explained softly.

"I'm sorry," he said to her, hugging them both tightly. "I had no idea she was going to turn up like that."

"Hey, that's okay!" Ellie could see how drained he looked. She knew he had been uneasy about confronting Helen, but at least now it was done. What happened next was up to her.

"Still want to go to the coast?" he asked eventually.

"Yes, I think we all need some fresh air."

"Right, let's get this show on the road," he said firmly. He dropped a kiss on Ellie's lips and she felt her heart do flip flops inside her chest. It was on the tip of her tongue to say those three little words that, increasingly, threatened to burst out of her, but she just couldn't do it. Maybe one day soon she would have the courage, but not today.

* * *

The grey sea pounded against the quay, sending the spray high into the air in flumes of white foam. Gulls wheeled and cried in the salty air above the promenade, their beady black eyes eagerly watching for titbits thrown away by careless tourists. 

Ellie winced as the cold ice cream hurt her teeth, but she was determined to eat every last morsel. The rich chocolate flavour was intoxicating; just what she needed on a chilly day beside the sea. Michael had decided to wait for fish and chips, but the ice cream vendor had seduced Ellie.

"Sure you don't want a lick?" she asked one final time.

"Not of that, no," he replied with a wink.

Ellie realised what he meant and blushed. "Very funny," she said with a laugh. "You've got no chance tonight -- somebody will end up hogging the bed."

They both glanced down at an unusually silent Hope. She was far too engrossed in the sights and sounds of the seafront to be paying any attention to them. Her huge eyes were like saucers as the gulls swooped down on a tray of discarded chips and began to bicker amongst themselves noisily.

"Oh she'll be out like a light -- I promise..." Michael grinned lecherously and Ellie felt the familiar sparks of desire flood her with heat. 

"She won't be the only one," she said. "With all this sea air -- I won't be able to keep my eyes open."

"Then, I'll just have to ravish you while you're asleep!" Michael pulled her into his arms and began to tickle her mercilessly. Within seconds, she was squealing and laughing so hard it was painful.

"Stop!" she cried finally and he relented.

"I'm glad we came," he said, as they continued along the path. Michael was pushing the buggy with one hand, while the other hand held Ellie's.

Ellie silently pondered what had happened before they set off. Michael had remained tight lipped on the whole subject of Helen. Ellie had waited for him to bring it up on the journey here, but he hadn't.

Now, it was beginning to gnaw away at her and she needed to know where she stood. Being here, by the sea, was a lovely break from real life, but in two days they would have to deal with the fall out from Helen's unexpected return. 

She stopped dead. "What's going to happen between you and Helen?" she asked without preamble.

Michael halted and turned to face her. "You don't mess about, do you?" he said with some amusement. Then, his smile faded, as the sun vanished behind a black cloud.

"What will happen is that Helen will pay a visit to her solicitor, who will then try to screw me for every penny I own. I have no doubt that she'll use the existence of Hope as a way of extracting the maximum amount of cash in our forthcoming divorce."

"So, you are divorcing her?" Ellie tried to quell the sense of joy at his words. Finally, her recurring fear that Michael might do to her what he did to Lisa was vanquished.

"Of course I fucking am!" He grabbed her round the waist and looked her in the eye.

"Ellie, there's something I need to say to you, something that I should have said already, but being a stupid man, I haven't."

She looked back at him nervously. "What?" 

"I love you," he said simply.

Ellie felt tears forming in the corners of her eyes and she tried to wipe them away, but Michael held her hands tightly. "Will you marry me once everything is sorted out?" he asked. "I won't have any money left by then, but I'm sure we can live on love alone..."

She laughed through her tears. "You idiot!" she sniffed. "I love you and yes, I'll marry you."

They kissed softly, oblivious to the curious stares of onlookers walking past. It was only when Hope grew bored of watching the gulls and began to shout loudly that they broke apart. 

"Come on," said Michael, "I think our daughter's hungry."

Ellie smiled. He was right. Lisa would have wanted it this way -- the two people she cared about most in the world, were happy and taking care of her baby. From the midst of tragedy, Hope had been born. Ellie felt certain Lisa was watching them...and smiling.

* * * 

I hope you enjoyed the conclusion to my story. Please let me know if you did! Rach