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Fullness Of Life Ch. 01

By: JewelTran



Cassidy Meadows looked across the booth at the man seated on the opposite side. Although she had dated him for five years, at that moment, Cassidy thought that Brad Frazier looked like a complete stranger. And, in a way, Cassidy had to admit, at that moment, perhaps he was.

It had taken all of Cassidy's courage to work up the nerve to confront Brad. Although they had dated for so long that people often thought that they had always been together, Brad had yet to ask Cassidy to marry him. As a matter of fact, for the duration of their dating years, Brad had yet to ask Cassidy to do anything. It had taken him over a year to work up to their first kiss, and in the subsequent four years, there hadn't been any further progress in their physical relationship. 

At first, Cassidy had told herself that Brad just was shy. But after having spent countless hours with the man, watching him fish, play pool, kick back at the lake and shoot the breeze with his buddies, Cassidy just couldn't convince herself of Brad's shyness anymore. 

And tonight, she had decided to take action. When Brad had asked her to meet him at the diner for supper, she had agreed, although doing so bothered her. It had been forever since Brad had stopped picking her up at her house and making an effort to appear to be "dating" her. Now, he just assumed that she would show up when he asked. Tonight she had agreed, but it was because she had an agenda for the evening.

"Well," Cassidy repeated, "Are you going to tell me where this relationship is going, Brad?"

Cassidy watched as Brad's face flushed red in his anger and embarrassment. "Now, Dee, this isn't the time or the place . . . "

"Brad, I'm tired of looking for the right time and place. Just lay it on the line for me. Do you have any intentions of us getting married?"

If she had suspected Brad's reaction, Cassidy would have ducked. As it was, the sweet tea that suddenly spewed out of Brad's mouth, across the table and into her face, came as a complete shock to Cassidy. Stunned as she was, it was the laughter that hurt the most, though. 

Brad didn't seem to be amused about having just sprayed her down with his dinner drink, he seemed to be roaring with laughter about her question. As Cassidy picked up her napkin and began mopping the tea off of her face, she looked at Brad in confusion. If the tea incident wasn't enough to draw everyone in the diner's attention to their table, the volume of Brad's next question would have done it. 

"Where the hell did you get the idea that I would want to marry YOU?" Brad bellowed.

It was at that moment that Cassidy suddenly realized the man's callousness. She sat in stunned silence as he continued.

"Hell, Dee, I was doin' you a favor, taking you out all these years. What the Sam Hill do you want to go and mess it all up by getting all serious and crap?"

Cassidy felt the blood rush to her face. Doing her a favor? Trying to remain calm, Cassidy said, "Brad, what do you mean, you were doing me a favor?"

Brad didn't seem to care that everyone in the diner had stopped eating and was turned in their seats, watching the unfolding drama. He loudly continued his explanation, "Well, Dee, it ain't like there's anybody else been wanting you. You ain't exactly the kind of girl that guys are chomping at the bit to date. Don't act so all fired high and mighty. You're just lucky I took pity on you and been taking you around. At least you weren't sitting at home, wasting away. Course," Brad stopped talking for a moment to scratch out his ear canal before he gave her plump body a meaningful glance then continued, "With a body like yours you could stand to stay home a few nights and do a little wasting away."

If Cassidy could have melted into the woodwork, she would have done so at that moment. Cassidy had always known that she weighed more than Brad thought she ought to. But, in the big picture of their relationship, she hadn't let that bother her too much. It had been more important to her to take care of Brad's needs and wants. And there had been plenty of them to focus on without leaving a lot of time to worry about her weight. When he had brought up the subject before, Cassidy had just shrugged it off, figuring she would deal with it later. 

But now Brad had made his opinion public. He had not only embarrassed her, she was humiliated. And he had done it on purpose to put her back in her place because she had made him uncomfortable. 

Cassidy had always struggled to handle situations in her life with integrity and poise. Cassidy knew that this was a defining moment for her and she had to handle this in a way that she could live with. With a heavy heart, Cassidy realized that there was nothing she could say to salvage her relationship with Brad at this point. It was best to leave quietly, while she still had some dignity remaining. 

Standing up, Cassidy calmly reached down and picked up her purse. She first turned to face Brad, then, shaking her head, pivoted on her heel and started to walk away. 

But suddenly, something snapped inside of Cassidy. She had lived her whole life in the shadows because of her desire to never be inappropriate. But in the blink of an eye, her whole life had come down to this - a man who thought that he could belittle and insult her and still have her give him a lift home afterward. The fire of humiliation shot to her very core. And from her core, she felt a response. Like a lightening bolt through her body, she realized that her life as she had known it was over. Nothing inside of her would ever be the same again. And it was time to let a few people know that - starting with Brad Frazier.

Returning to stand in front of Brad, Cassidy leaned down to look him in the eye. Using a tone that sounded genuinely sympathetic, she said in a quiet voice that grew louder as she continued, "Brad, after you told me about your little "problem", I have been trying to lose weight. I realize that having a penis so short that you are afraid you won't be able to penetrate me because of the extra inch of flesh that I have can be somewhat embarrassing. But, honey, after you finally showed it to me last night, I realize that it would only be by an act of God that I could ever get skinny enough to get close enough for you to stick that tiny, little nubby thing in me. I hope your next girlfriend is small enough to squeeze really close, so she can at least hump the damn thing."

And with that, Cassidy took her own glass of sweet tea and poured it over Brad's shocked face. 

Cassidy quickly walked out of the diner and to her car. Everyone inside the eating establishment was roaring with laughter, and she wanted to make a rapid get away before anyone noticed her absence. Popping the trunk on her car, Cassidy hurriedly emptied it of all Brad's sporting equipment - his prized fishing rod, his custom made pool cue and his box of hand tied lures. There were also some coolers full of God only knew what and at least one dried up box of bait.

Brad had always stored his fishing gear in Cassidy's car, claiming that it was safer there than in his truck. As the smell of rotting fish guts hit Cassidy's nostrils, she realized yet another truth about the man. He was a compulsive liar! 

Cassidy put the equipment on the ground behind her car and jumped into the driver's seat. She figured that Brad would see his stuff on his way out to his own truck, which was parked nearby, and pick it up. Cassidy's car was pointed out of the parking lot and Cassidy wanted to get away from there as soon as possible. Taking the time to carry Brad's stuff over to his truck would take up precious moments.

But fate has a way of changing even the most well made plans, and Cassidy's plans weren't that well made. Just as she cranked the car, Brad burst out of the restaurant and yelled across the parking lot, "Well, Cindy Ann sure as hell thinks what I've got is enough to satisfy any woman - and she would know a hell of a lot better than you, bitch!"

Shock washed over Cassidy. Brad was sleeping with Cindy Ann? Cindy Ann Chambers? Her best friend? Well, duh! Of course they were sleeping together - how could she have missed the signs. They had been making eyes at each other for months.

With her mind spinning with this new information, Cassidy was not really paying a lot of attention to her actions. She automatically put the car into reverse to back out of her parking spot and to get away from Brad. As soon as she heard the loud crack of wood and the crunch of plastic, she realized that she had just backed over Brad's most beloved possessions. At first, she felt a wave of remorse, then she was overwhelmed by self righteous anger. Brad had taken five years of her life - always holding her in limbo, waiting to see if he would offer her what she most wanted.

Cassidy decided then and there that she would damn well take a few things from him. She threw the car into forward, inched up a few feet, then slammed it back into reverse. Brad was looking at her like she had lost her mind, because he had no idea what she was running over. Cassidy repeated her actions twice more, then sped toward the exit. As she left her parking spot, Brad caught sight of his equipment, smashed into the asphalt. He started screaming and running - first toward his stuff, then toward Cassidy's car. 

The exit was up a slight hill, so Brad was having to put effort into catching up with Cassidy, but he was fueled by his anger and he looked determined to tear her from limb to limb. But Cassidy was just as angry. Looking around the inside of her car, Cassidy spied Brad's bowling bag. She paused at the exit of the parking lot, and waited for Brad to get closer to her car. Working quickly, Cassidy maneuvered the bag and rolled down her window. When Brad got about 25 feet away, she threw his bowling bag at him. 

Without thinking, Brad lunged to catch the bag and it fell lightly into his outstretched hands as he hit the concrete. He looked momentarily confused, but then his face turned ashen when he looked up and realized that Cassidy was holding his custom made $250 Storm Bowling Ball in her hands. 

Cassidy cocked her eyebrow at Brad and said, "So you don't want me, but you want it, baby? Well, here you go!"

Then she tossed the ball out of her car window. 

Brad's scream of "No!" echoed into the growing darkness as the ball rolled down the hill, just out of his reach. Cassidy knew that the rough pavement of the parking lot had just ruined the polished finish of Brad's beloved "Stormy". She laughed out loud as she laid rubber pulling away from the diner's parking lot.

It didn't take long for Cassidy to decide what she was going to do. Even before she had gone to the diner tonight, she had already decided that she was going to make a change in her life. She had just been waiting around to figure out what Brad was planning on doing. And now she knew. He was planning on using her to ease his boredom and using her best friend to ease his sexual needs. Well, enough of that!

Life had just slammed a door shut in Cassidy's face and she was about to throw open the nearest window and climb through.

Cassidy rushed in her front door and headed to her bedroom. She grabbed her suitcases and began packing. Cassidy had always wanted to get out of Sweetwater. She had just always assumed that she would be accompanied by her husband when she left. But now, she was on her own, and she wanted to go. But go where? Cassidy ran through several options in her mind.

Then Cassidy remembered. As a child, she had sat on the floor of her living room and watched one tv show over and over. It was the Grand Ol' Opry. For years, Cassidy had longed to visit there. Nashville. The city of opportunity. Music City, USA. Once she thought of Nashville, it only took a moment for Cassidy to make up her mind. She was going to the land of rhinestone cowboys and fulfilled dreams. She had a few of her own dreams she would like to see fulfilled - and Nashville was where she would start.

There wasn't too much that Cassidy owned, since she had been renting the house and it had come fully furnished. Just like her life, there wasn't much to show for who she was. Cassidy had always kept her intrusion into the world at a bare minimum and accepted that life was supposed to be like that for her. It was with a real sadness that Cassidy looked down at the few things that marked her existence.

As Cassidy was throwing the last of her personal items into her bag, her phone rang. Absentmindedly, she picked up the receiver, then cursed herself silently. Why hadn't she thought about what she was doing - the new Cassidy had the option to ignore a ringing phone. But it was too late now. Cassidy had already said, "Hello."

The voice on the other end of the line didn't bother with introductions. It just went into immediate wails of distress.

"Oh, it's you, Aunt Margie," Cassidy said wearily. Cassidy's Aunt Margie was the town busybody. She truly believed that every thing that went on in the town was her business. And Cassidy's life was under her constant scrutiny. Needless to say, Aunt Margie wasn't very happy with Cassidy's continuing life as a single woman.

Through the great gasps of her aunt's sobs, Cassidy heard Aunt Margie say, "Oh, my dear! What have you done? Poor Bradley is beside himself. What has gotten into you? How are you ever going to get a man with such an obstinate and bitter attitude?"

Cassidy rolled her eyes. She knew that there was no point in explaining to her Aunt that Brad had really dumped her. Cassidy also knew that by now the story had circulated through all of her tiny hometown and that no one would really want to hear her side. Even the eye witnesses would begin to see the whole encounter with Brad as the victim. After all he was the local good ol' boy. Everyone loved Brad.

Even Cindy Ann. Cassidy's best friend. Uggghhhh!

After about five minutes of loudly bemoaning her unfortunate relation to such an uncouth, ungrateful child as Cassidy, Aunt Margie went up for a breath. Cassidy took that moment to break into the conversation.

"You are absolutely right, Aunt Margie! I have behaved badly. And, there is no way that I can bear to show my face in town again." Barely suppressing her smile, Cassidy continued, "I can't believe what I have done. I have no choice but to leave Sweetwater and let poor Brad . . . " Let poor Brad what? Win another round? Revel in the sympathy of the women in town? Drink himself into a stupor, then do a mating dance with some bar hopping hussy? Poor hussy.

"Let poor Brad get over me and my bad attitude." It was the best Cassidy could come up with on short notice! 

But it seemed to make Aunt Margie somewhat happier. The older woman said, "Well, Cassidy, I do think that might be for the best. If you just take off and get out of town for a few days, maybe poor Bradley will be willing to take you back. If you offer him your heartfelt apology, I'll do my best to intercede and maybe this won't be a total disaster."

Cassidy stuck her tongue out at her aunt, but answered in a soothing tone, "No, Aunt Margie. You're wrong. What I've done this time is far worse than some small offense that Brad might find it in his heart to forgive. No, this is far, far worse. I think I'll have to go away longer than a few days."

Aunt Margie sniffed in her pathetic attempt to continue pulling Cassidy's heartstrings. "Well, my dear, I do have a cousin over in Gallivant's Ferry. Maybe she could put you up for a few weeks."

"Aunt Margie, I could never ask you to put yourself out like that." Cassidy's barely contained sarcasm was beginning to wear on her own nerves. Determined to bring the conversation to a quick end, she said, "No, I will just go off on my own and find my way. Keep me in your prayers, Aunt Margie." And with that honest request, Cassidy hung up the phone.

One quick look around her house convinced her that she was taking all that belonged to her. Since she rented the house from the church, she left the rent check for the next month on the kitchen table along with the key. A brief note explained that she wouldn't be coming back and thanked the church committee for allowing her to rent the house for the last few years. How could a person live somewhere for so long and have nothing more than two suitcases of personal stuff? Shaking her head, Cassidy flipped off the lights and headed out into the darkness.

After looking at a map, Cassidy knew that once she got to the highway she would be about nine hours from Nashville. With a little huff of disgust, Cassidy noticed how much closer it would be if she was from Sweetwater, Tennessee, rather than Sweetwater, South Carolina. 

It was almost 8:00 by now and Cassidy was ready to put the town lights behind her. As she cruised down the last road to get to the turn off for the interstate, she saw the blue lights start up in her rear view mirror. Shaking her head in frustration, Cassidy wondered if she was never going to be able to get out of town

Cassidy pulled her car off the road and waited until the officer approached her car door. With the beam of a police issued flashlight blinding her, Cassidy wasn't sure exactly who had pulled her over. As the light motioned for her to roll down her window, Cassidy complied. There weren't a lot of people from Sweetwater that Cassidy wanted to talk to right now, but she wasn't about to ignore an officer of the law.

"Cassidy Meadows, just where the hell do you think you are going?" Cassidy smiled at the rough voice. It was Ray Strong, a friend of her father's from their years together back in the army. 

Cassidy's family had always been close to Ray. When Cassidy's own parents had died in a car wreck seven years ago, leaving Cassidy with no family, it was Ray who came through to remind Cassidy that she wasn't alone in the world. Cassidy knew that she could trust Ray with her life, as well as with her heart.

But even knowing that, Cassidy hoped Ray didn't know what she had done to Brad. She didn't want him to be disappointed in her. "Ray, I'm leaving town for awhile."

"Now, Cassidy, I heard tell that Bradley Frazier was looking to press charges against you for destruction of property. Would you like to tell me what happened?"

Cassidy narrowed her eyes at Ray. "Do you really want to know?"

"Naw, I done heard what you did!" Ray said, laughing out loud. Then he continued, "I just wanted to tell you that he was all puffed up and lookin' to pick a fight. I think you are doing the right thing by heading out. When will you be back?"

Lowering her eyes, Cassidy said, "Ray, I'm not coming back. I just can't be who I need to be here. And if I stay, I'll always be the woman that Brad got the best of. I just can't be here anymore."

Looking back up into Ray's face, Cassidy could see his concern. "Girl, I wish you didn't feel that way. The people in this town love you."

"Ray, they love Brad. The only time I've ever been noticed in this town was when Brad took an interest in me. Otherwise, I was just a wallflower. I don't want to go back to that and I don't want to go forward here, knowing that Brad and Cindy Ann have been sneaking around behind my back. Who would have the courage to look me in the eye, even if I did manage to walk around with my head held high?"

Ray sighed loudly. "Tell me where you are going, girl. You know I ain't lying when I say that I'm going to miss you. And you know I'm going to want to keep tabs on you."

Cassidy smiled up into Ray's face. "I'm going to Nashville, Ray. I don't know if I'll stay there, but I'm planning to. Please don't tell anyone for awhile. I need to get my life under my own control."

Nodding his head, Ray said, "Sure thing, Cassidy. You know, I never took too much to Brad calling you "Dee". Why he couldn't get your whole name out, I'll never know!"


Fullness Of Life Ch. 01



The warmth in Ray's voice gave Cassidy the first hope that she had felt in the last few hours. She said, "Ray, I HATED for him to call me that. But, I guess my feelings weren't really that important to him. Why did it take me so long to figure this out?"

"Don't be too hard on yourself, Cassidy. Now, listen here, when you get to Nashville, you look up Robin Jordan. She's my cousin. I'll let her know you are coming." After scribbling on a piece of paper, Ray continued, "This here's her address. You go straight there tomorrow. She'll help you get a place and get settled in. And best of all, there ain't a soul in Sweetwater who even knows that she exists!"

A smile of pure delight broke across Cassidy's face. "I love you, Ray! I'll let you know before I make any life changing decisions." Cassidy took the piece of paper, waved good-bye to Ray and started off toward the interstate. People like Ray came few and far between in life. Cassidy was glad that he had always been a part of hers.

Cassidy spent the next few hours driving down the interstate, thinking about herself and who she was. Her life had always been lived "in the shadows" as she had learned to call it. Her father had served in the Vietnam war and had come home a scarred man, emotionally and physically. Although he loved his wife and daughter, far too often, Cassidy would find him staring mindlessly at the TV, lost in his memories. He was too proud to get help, saying that it wouldn't change anything. Cassidy's mom had taught Cassidy by word and example to lay low and not question anything that her father said. It was a lesson that Cassidy took to heart and it had shaped her life.

Cassidy had lived her life cautiously - avoiding all confrontation and any emotionally charged situations. She was almost positive that Brad had chosen her to be his companion because she never questioned anything that he said. She had gone out of her way to make his life comfortable and easy, because that was what she thought a wife would do, and, more than anything, Cassidy had spent her whole life wanting to be a wife - and a good wife, at that.

But Cassidy had never felt any real peace about who she was or how she was living. Every Sunday Cassidy would sit in one of the pews in her home church and hear the preacher talking about God's will for human beings to experience "fullness of life". The term called to Cassidy and stirred her soul. She wasn't sure what "fullness of life" was, and the preacher never elaborated. But, in her heart, Cassidy knew that she wanted to find out what it was. And the peace she was feeling as she drove down the highway, gave her an indication that she was finally on the right track. For Cassidy, finding out what "fullness of life" meant felt an awful lot like coming to life for the very first time.

It only took about five hours of driving before Cassidy had to stop for the night. If she had known that she would be flying the coop, she would have taken an afternoon nap. But, the truth of the matter was, earlier in the afternoon, Cassidy had been entertaining the notion that she might be spending the night in Brad's arms, once he proposed. So much for fantasy!

After paying for a room in a small town outside Asheville, North Carolina, Cassidy took a quick shower and fell into bed. She slept surprisingly well for having just made a life changing decision. Cassidy took that as a sign that she had done the right thing!

When she woke up and realized that there was no hurry to get to Nashville, Cassidy decided to go shopping. Smiling to herself, she put on a new dress that she had bought several months before. Brad hadn't liked the fact that it was a short dress, which showed off her legs, and that it had a scoop neck that showed off some of her abundant cleavage. Cassidy had obediently hung it in the back of her closet and had never worn it. But today was a new day and today, Cassidy decided to hang Brad's memory in the back of the metaphorical closet of her heart and wear the dress out to shop.

After checking out of the motel, Cassidy spent awhile at the local strip mall, just wondering around looking at displays. When she noticed the third person offer her a huge smile, she ducked into the bathroom to look into the mirror. She wasn't sure if she had something on her face, or had spilled something on her new dress. Maybe she had missed cutting off one of the tags. But she figured that whatever it was, she needed a mirror to determine what these people all found so amusing. 

As Cassidy stood, staring confusedly into the restroom mirror, a middle aged lady stepped out of a stall and came up beside Cassidy to wash her hands. The lady met Cassidy's eyes in the mirror and smiled warmly. 

Without thinking, Cassidy frowned at the woman. The woman laughed and said, "Something wrong, honey?"

Cassidy could feel herself blush. "I'm sorry - I didn't mean to snarl at you! It's just that everyone keeps smiling at me. I came in here to see if I had one of those awful "kick me" signs stuck to me. I can't figure out why everyone is looking at me."

The lady's smile just got bigger. Shrugging her shoulders, she said, "Honey, it's because you look like a nice person. You have a pretty face, and a well packaged body in a dress that I would kill to look that good in. What's not to smile at? Especially when you smile back."

Blinking at the woman as though she were insane, Cassidy struggled to understand her words. It would be an understatement to say that Cassidy hadn't gotten out of Sweetwater a lot during her lifetime. The truth was that she had never even driven across the state line until about 12 hours ago. And no one in Sweetwater ever paid Cassidy any attention. 

Maybe it was because she had always lived there, maybe it was because she had never been fashionably pretty or slim, or maybe it was because she had never insisted that anyone pay her attention. Whatever the reason, the result was that strangers seemed to look right through her and the natives never noticed anything about her. 

Yet here Cassidy was in a new place and people were smiling at her and acting as though they wouldn't mind getting to know her. Could they really think she was attractive? Cassidy turned back to look in the mirror questioningly. She saw the same face and body that she had seen for years, but somehow, it looked different. Then she realized what it was. It was the soft glow of satisfaction - satisfaction with who she was. She smiled in spite of herself. 

The woman cleared her throat and said, "See, honey? When you smile, you light up the room! You aren't from around here, are you, sweetie?"

Cassidy absentmindedly shook her head. The older lady laughed again. She offered Cassidy her hand and said, "I'm Wilma Turner. I've lived here a long time and I'm used to this place! Why don't we have lunch and you can tell me all about what's going on to make you so wary."

It was a day for firsts in Cassidy's life. She had never eaten lunch with a stranger and she had never poured out her heart to someone she had never met before. But within an hour, she had done both. 

Wilma listened to Cassidy's story, cheered her on her choice of leaving, then ordered a hot fudge sundae to celebrate Cassidy's new start. The two women laughed and giggled more than Cassidy could remember ever doing. 

When Wilma leaned across the table, pointed out a man who had just entered the outdoor food court area and whispered, "Doesn't Billy Stewart have the cutest butt you've ever seen?" Cassidy thought she might die laughing. 

During their meal, several different men approached their table. They all seemed to know Cassidy's new friend. Wilma flirted unabashedly with each one of them and they returned the compliment. To Cassidy's surprise, after Wilma introduced her to them, they included her in their flirting as well. One of the younger men even said that if Cassidy would put off heading out of town for a day or two, he would love to show her around. Cassidy declined, but, in her heart, there was a whole cheerleading squad yelling and clapping in excitement.

When they had finished off their dessert, it was with a reluctant heart that Cassidy told Wilma that she really did have to get back on the road. Wilma handed her a business card and said, "Now, sweety, this is all of my numbers. If you need me for anything, you just let me know." 

Then Wilma looked somewhat hesitant and added, "Now, honey, I know that this is a weird request, and you feel free to say no. But with you going to Nashville and all . . . Well, I just thought . . . I was hoping - well, I have a relative in Nashville that I have a letter for. I've been carrying it around in my purse, trying to get up the nerve to mail it. Now, I know it's asking a lot. But would you deliver it? It would just be so much more personal, and I'm afraid that it has a bit of bad family news in it. 

"It seems that our Aunt Mimi has just found out that her house is going to be foreclosed on, and we are trying to notify the whole family to see if anyone has any ideas on how to deal with the situation. And little Jess - the one in Nashville - has always loved her so much and might have some suggestions of what we should do now. The old dear really does need to go to a retirement home, and this would be an opportune time, but I just don't know. 

"And, to tell the truth, I'm worried about how Jess is going to take this news. It won't be easy to accept what I have to say and it might help if it came through another human being rather than a mail box. And I know that just meeting you could cushion the blow a little. 

"Listen to me. I'm just rambling on. Would you mind terribly, dear? I just am sure that Jesse, being so young and so far from home, will feel better with a shoulder to cry on, if need be. And you seem to be just the kind of person who could make it easier."

Cassidy would have rather walked over hot coals than to have turned Wilma down at that moment. Wilma had been so kind to her and had made her feel so much better about her own situation. The least she could do was return the favor. It wasn't like she was going to be extremely busy over the next few days. She would need to find a place to live and a job, but those things wouldn't consume all of her time. And it sounded like Jess might need some comforting. Poor kid. 

Cassidy assured Wilma that she would be glad to deliver the letter. Wilma pulled it out of her pocketbook and handed it to her. It was already addressed, so there was no need for any further instructions.

The two women hugged, then Wilma watched Cassidy drive back onto the interstate. Cassidy sighed in contentment. If this was life outside Sweetwater, she wished she had left years ago.

Pulling into Nashville a few hours later, Cassidy stopped by a gas station to ask for directions to Ray's cousin's house. Cassidy was floored when, rather than answering, the station attendant turned her back on Cassidy and started pounding away on her computer keys. Cassidy stared in confusion at the woman's back as she waited for an answer, unsure of what she should do. When the woman finally turned around, she slid a piece of paper across the counter to Cassidy. 

Noticing Cassidy's questioning look, the woman laughed, "Mapquest. I can't find my way out of a wet paper sack, but I can get you anywhere with an address! Just follow these directions and you'll get there!" Laughing, Cassidy thanked the woman and paid for her gas. Then she headed into town. 

Cassidy pulled into Robin Jordan's yard about 6:30. Cassidy had barely gotten out of her car when the door to the house burst open and out came a woman very close to Cassidy's age. Cassidy's first impression of her was that she must be a runway model. Tall, thin and beautiful by anyone's standards, Robin Jordan was barreling down the steps with her arms wide open. Cassidy hadn't managed to move before the woman reached her and grabbed her into a huge hug. 

"You must be Cassidy!" Robin exclaimed. "Ray has told me so much about you! I would have recognized you anywhere! Come in - I have to call Ray and let him know that you are here. He's been calling every 30 minutes for the last two hours, wanting to know where you were - I'm so glad you are here!"

As Robin continued talking at world record speed, she pulled Cassidy behind her, up the front steps and into her home. It was a small house, well decorated and very bright. But Cassidy barely noticed because she was trying to follow Robin's words. 

After Robin dropped Cassidy off at the dining room table, she stepped into the kitchen to call Ray. While she was on the phone, assuring her cousin that Cassidy was safe and sound, Robin was miming words to Cassidy, offering her a cold coke and some crackers and cheese. 

Since Cassidy hadn't eaten since lunch, she nodded her head in acceptance. Robin was having a very animated conversation with Ray all the while she was bouncing around her kitchen, grabbing a glass, opening the 2 liter, pulling out the crackers and locating the cheese. Cassidy was getting tired just watching her!

By the time Robin was off the phone, the table was set with their snack. As Cassidy and Robin ate, Robin continued to talk excitedly. "I am so glad to have you here! I can't wait to show you all over the town. I know you have to be hungry though for more than crackers - it is supper time, after all. I had planned to take you downtown to one of the nicer restaurants, but then I got to thinking that maybe I should take you to one closer by, so you could relax. Then we can go to one of the better ones on a different night when you are more rested and didn't just pull into town."

Noticing the somewhat amused look on Cassidy's face, Robin burst into laughter. She said, "I must sound like a magpie to you! I work with speaking and hearing impaired children in the school system during the day and I think that it takes effect on my brain. I can't seem to shut up when I have the opportunity to talk to an adult! Let me hush here and you tell me all about yourself."

Now it was Cassidy's turn to talk. But she didn't know what to say. "Well," she began, "I'm not exactly sure what Ray has told you. I just left Sweetwater for the first time in my life and I want to know what it's like to live somewhere else."

Robin sat quietly, as though she were expecting Cassidy to continue. Finally, Cassidy shrugged her shoulders and said, "I guess that's about it."

Robin's laugh rang through her small house. "Oh, Cassidy, there's a lot more to you than that! But I'll give you time to tell me. Right now, let's go get supper!"

Grabbing her pocketbook and cell phone, Robin ushered Cassidy back outside. They climbed into Robin's SUV and headed toward town. A few miles away, Robin pulled into a crowded parking lot. Winking at Cassidy, she said, "I hope you like pizza, because Mafiaoza's has really great pizza!"

Cassidy loved the restaurant. It was nothing like the diner or any other restaurant in Sweetwater. The atmosphere was really fun, the waiter was very attentive and the food was delicious. While they ate, Robin talked in between bites, filling Cassidy in on her life story. Cassidy liked Robin a lot and was truly enjoying their first meal together. 

As the two women were about to dive into their last slices of pizza, a newcomer entered the restaurant. The gasp of breath and the flush that suddenly overcame Robin's cheeks let Cassidy know that this man was someone special. Cassidy slowly looked the man over, since he couldn't see them from where he was standing. 

Cassidy would guess that the man was older than her by a couple of years. He was around 6 foot tall. His arms, chest, stomach and thighs were all thick and strong looking, straining the cloth of his subdued navy blue suit. He appeared reserved and observant, yet strangely detached. Cassidy decided that his mannerisms, when added to his impressive body, just served to make him even more appealing. 

Cassidy raised her eyebrow at Robin. "Want to tell me about him?"

Robin's self-conscious giggle was very revealing. "He's just about the most perfect man in all of Nashville. Every woman I know would love to catch his eye."

Judging from Robin's reaction, Cassidy knew that Robin was in the same boat. It surprised Cassidy, because the man was not a cut young body builder. He was a well put together older adult male. Deciding to take advantage once again of their somewhat hidden location, Cassidy leaned forward to take a second look. Yeah, he was enough to make a girl's mouth water!

But just as Cassidy was about to agree with Robin, she noticed that the man wasn't alone. Beside him stood another man. This man appeared to be several years younger, with what looked to Cassidy to be carefully placed sun streaks in his dark brown stylishly cut hair. His clothes were high dollar casual. He was shorter than his companion, but seemed larger than life because of his gregarious personality that jumped out, even across the restaurant. He was flashing pearly whites at everyone within view, waving and smiling with obvious ease. And everyone seemed more than happy to be the recipients of his attention.

"Ahhh!" Cassidy said. Robin looked at her in confusion, but Cassidy didn't elaborate. The younger man was obviously the one that Robin had been talking about, but the older man was much more interesting to Cassidy.

"So does Mr. Personality have a name, Robin?" Cassidy asked. She really didn't care what it was, but it was good opener for finding out about the guy with him.

"Yeah, he's Van Henderson. He's the newest catch phrase in country music. He hasn't hit it so fast and hard that he gets clobbered for autographs by mobs, yet, but it's coming. For now, he can come and go pretty much as he pleases and he pleases a lot. He's always out and about, meeting people and leaving some very happy women in the wake of that smile," Robin said. The dreamy look on her face almost made Cassidy laugh. 

Robin had told Cassidy enough for her to figure out that the mountain of a man with Van Henderson had to be his body guard. That probably meant that, at least for the masses, the man was nameless. Darn.

The two women finally turned their attention back to their pizza and were finishing up when Cassidy noticed that the room around them had gotten strangely quiet. She looked up from her last bite only to see Van Henderson smiling down at her. Robin and Cassidy were sitting in a booth and he was standing at the open end of their table. Cassidy did a quick side glance and noticed, much to her delight, that his friend was there with him.

"Well, ladies," drawled the smooth talking Van, "I don't believe that I have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance."

This time, Cassidy did laugh out loud at the look on Robin's face. Van seemed quiet interested in Robin's face as well. After his introductory glance at Cassidy, he hadn't taken his eyes off of Robin. And Robin was practically drooling.

Van held out his hand toward Robin, "Hello. I'm Van Henderson." Cassidy noticed that Van's voice seemed to have dropped an octave and was as close to a caress as she had ever heard. 

Robin didn't seem capable of responding verbally. She held out her own hand and Van grasped it. Neither one of them seemed interested in letting go. Finally, Cassidy lightly kicked Robin under the table. "Robin, don't you think you should tell Mr. Henderson what your name is?"

Shaking her head as if to clear it, Robin said, "Oh, I'm sorry! My name is Robin . . . " Robin's voice trailed off as she continued to stare into Van's face. They still hadn't stopped shaking hands. 

Cassidy cleared her throat, "Robin Jordan. And I'm Cassidy Meadows." Taking advantage of the fact that Van and Robin were only paying her the minimum of attention, Cassidy turned to Van's bodyguard. "And you are?"




Fullness Of Life Ch. 01



"On the clock," the man said coldly.

Now, normally Cassidy would have backed off. In fact, the Cassidy that had gone into the diner in Sweetwater a little over 24 hours ago would have tucked her tail between her legs and cowered in the corner. But the Cassidy that had walked out of that same diner refused to bow to this man's attempt to silence her.

"Unusual name. What do most people call you? Mr. Clock or Onthe?" Cassidy asked somewhat snidely.

For the barest of moments, Cassidy actually thought that she saw the corners of the big man's mouth twitch. But it was quickly replaced by what appeared to be his professional face. "Mr. Clock will do," he said sternly.

Cassidy wasn't sure if she wanted to burst out laughing or reach up and slap him. Actually, she was sure - she wanted to do both!

Fortunately for Cassidy's potential police record, she didn't have the opportunity to assault the man. Robin took that moment to snap out of her trance and start talking. The sound of her voice seemed to take everyone by surprise. But it was her words that caught their attention!

"Would you two like to join us? We have just finished up our pizza, but we could split a dessert, sex or coffee," Robin said excitedly. Silence filled the air as Cassidy, Van and his bodyguard all stared open mouthed at Robin. Robin suddenly began to look nervous. "What? Why is everyone staring at me?"

Cassidy cautiously said, "Robin, do you know what you just said?"

Looking confused, Robin said, "Sure I do. I asked Van and his friend to join us for coffee or dessert or s. . . . Oh my God!!!! I didn't say that outloud, did I?!?" Robin covered her face with her hands as the other three burst out laughing. 

It took several minutes for the group to recover enough to continue any semblance of conversation. 

Although Van's bodyguard was the first to get his own features under control, even he couldn't manage to get any words formed. It was Van who was finally able to speak first. "Robin Jordan, I'm afraid that I have to take a rain check on that offer for now. But," he leaned forward so he was staring straight into Robin's eyes, then whispered, "I do mean to take you up on that offer . . . at least the part about coffee. We can decide about the rest later!"

With a brief nod toward Cassidy, Van turned to leave. His bodyguard stood for a moment looking perplexed, then he reached into an inside pocket on his suit. Handing Robin what looked like a business card, he said coolly, "Van doesn't make empty promises. This is his personal e-mail address. If you want to get in touch with him, you can contact him through it. If I find out that you have abused having that information, you will regret it. Have a nice day."

Cassidy watched the bodyguard walk away, headed back to where Van was paying for the 'to go' order they had obviously come in to pick up. She wondered if Van had a habit of trying to pick up beautiful women. Somehow, she had the feeling that he didn't. But what did she know? She had also thought that Cindy Ann was her best friend. 

It amused Cassidy to see how hard it was for Robin to recover from the shock of her encounter with Van Henderson. Cassidy could tell that Robin was truly struck by the man. Rather than babbling with carefree ease, as she had before she had met Van, Robin was now quiet and seemed to be thinking seriously.

The ride back to Robin's house was completed in almost total silence. When they got back to Robin's house, Cassidy said, "Robin, go e-mail him. You'll never know until you give it a chance."

Robin frowned at Cassidy. "Cassidy, I know you only met me, but you have to believe that I have never met anyone who made me feel like this. Is it just because he is famous? Does he act like that with everyone? I don't do casual relationships. And then I offered him sex! What kind of woman must he be thinking that I am?"

Cassidy put her hand on Robin's arm. Pushing her gently toward the computer Cassidy could see sitting in Robin's living room, Cassidy said, "Go. Find out. You don't have to make a life time commitment tonight. Just tell him that you wanted to say hi. See what happens."

Robin smiled weakly and went slowly toward her computer. Cassidy decided it would be a good time to go to bed, so she wished Robin a good night and slipped out of the room. It seemed like only moments later, she was sound asleep in the guest bedroom. 



Fullness Of Life Ch. 02



The next morning, Robin was no where to be found. Cassidy finally located a note on the kitchen table saying that Robin had gone into work. She would be home mid-afternoon. She left her cell number, in case Cassidy needed anything.

Cassidy looked around the small kitchen until she found some bagels and cream cheese. Locating the upscale toaster had taken awhile, since it blended into the rest of the chrome in the room. Shaking her head at the modern decorating style, Cassidy sat down to eat her breakfast and plan her day.

After breakfast and a long bubble bath, Cassidy dressed in one of her favorite outfits. It wasn't one that she wore often, because Brad hadn't liked it. He had told her that she looked fat in it. The jeans were tighter than she normally wore, but with the sleeveless mock turtleneck shirt, Cassidy thought they looked great. When she added her boots, she felt like a million bucks. Shrugging to her image in the mirror, Cassidy tried to silence Brad's belittling voice. Yeah, she had made the right choice.

As the first order of business, Cassidy made the decision to deliver the letter that Wilma had given her. Then she would be freed up to look for a job the rest of the day. Leaving a short note for Robin, explaining where she was, Cassidy slipped out the front door. 

Cassidy had taken advantage of Robin's computer and pulled up the directions that she needed to find Jess. It wasn't difficult to get to the street listed on Wilma's letter. But Cassidy was confused. It appeared that Jess lived in a very upscale part of town. For some reason, Cassidy had expected to be in a middle class neighborhood, at the very best. But, instead, she found herself parking her no nonsense, 4 door sedan on a busy street, alongside sleek BMWs and immaculate Jags. 

Cassidy took the letter out of her pocketbook and locked the purse in the car. No need to take a lot of stuff to keep up with during this encounter. And perhaps Wilma would be off base and Jess would be fine with the news. If that were the case, Cassidy could be out of this neighborhood and looking for employment before lunch. With a spring in her step, Cassidy headed to the address on the letter.

About a block down the street, Cassidy found the specific house. It was huge! Knocking on the door, Cassidy was surprised when it was answered by a butler. Frowning, Cassidy said, "Hi, I'm looking for Jess?" Looking down at the letter in her hand, she added, "Jesse Turner?"

The butler looked at Cassidy somewhat skeptically, then said in a formal tone, "Please come in."

Cassidy entered the house and looked around. The butler left her standing in the foyer. In a moment, he returned and said, "This way, please." He lead Cassidy down a hallway and into what she guessed must be the formal receiving room. It was decorated with heavy reds and dark wood, reminiscent of medieval castles.

Cassidy watched as the butler bowed himself out of the room. Looking around, she decided to wait in as much comfort as possible given the rigidity of the room's furnishings. Cassidy gingerly sat down on the edge of one of the clawfooted chairs. Right as her backside hit the seat, the door flew open.  Cassidy jumped up, wanting to meet Jess standing up.

To Cassidy's utter amazement, Van Henderson's bodyguard entered the room. The expression on his face was one of pure anger. His fury radiated off of him in waves. Cassidy could only stare, open mouthed.

"Just what the hell do you mean, coming here? Did your friend put you up to it? Or did you hope to snag Mr. Henderson for yourself? I knew I shouldn't have given you that personal card last night. Give it back to me! Give it back to me now!" the man stormed, pointing to the paper in Cassidy's hand.

Still confused beyond comprehension, Cassidy looked down at the letter she was holding. It took a moment, but her brain finally kicked into gear. Looking back up at the man, Cassidy gritted her teeth. She said, "I have never! You know, I was doing Jess Turner's aunt a favor to come here and deliver this letter. I didn't know it was your precious Van Henderson's home. I just want to give this to Jess Turner."

The man reached out his hand, as if to take the letter, but Cassidy jerked it back. "Oh, no you don't. I came here to give this to Jesse Turner and I'm not leaving until you let me give it to her."

"Her? What do you mean, her? I'm Jesse Turner," the man said, still yelling.

Cassidy had never been stunned into complete silence in her whole life. But at that moment, she was speechless. Quickly going over in her mind, the conversation in which Wilma had given her the letter, she realized that Wilma had never said that Jess was a woman. Cassidy had just made the assumption that "little Jess" was not a strapping male bodyguard. Closing her eyes with the realization of the obvious matchmaking attempt on Wilma's part, Cassidy wondered what she should say next.

Finally, Cassidy settled on trying the truth, "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were a man. Well, I realized that you were a man, I mean, look at you, you are obviously a man. But I didn't realize that Jess Turner was a man. Had I known that you were Jesse Turner, then again, obviously, I wouldn't have made the male/female mistake." Taking a deep breath to try to calm her nerves, Cassidy continued, "I'm making a mess out of this. Your Aunt Wilma asked me to deliver this letter to you. I think that it was a set up, though. I'm not sure, but I get the feeling that you aren't the type to burst into tears and need comforting because dear old Aunt Mimi is going to lose the mortgage on her home."

Jesse Turner had listened to Cassidy's explanation, staring at her through narrowed eyes. When she came to the end of her outburst, Jesse stood stone still for a moment before throwing back his head and laughing loudly. "You, lady, have truly been set up. Aunt Mimi's mortgage is owned by my uncle, her son. She doesn't even make payments. My dear Aunt Wilma seems to have just wanted to get one over on you. I'm sure that letter has no more than the usual small town gossip in it. What did you do to tick my aunt off?"

Cassidy wasn't impressed that the man didn't seem to realize that Aunt Wilma was trying to set them up together. He was just convinced that his aunt was pulling a trick on her - as though she wasn't even good enough to be in the running as a potential match up. 

Still not smiling, Cassidy said, "Look, buster, just take the letter and let me get out of here. I think you have insulted me enough for one day."

Jesse reached out his hand, but much to Cassidy's dismay, instead of taking the letter, his hand closed around her wrist. She frowned up into his face, but he quickly turned his head and began pulling her out of the room down the hall.

"Would you quit!" Cassidy stormed, pulling back against Jesse's hand. Her effort had little effect on the man as he continued to stride further down the hall.

When Jesse came to a closed door at the end of the hall, he pushed it open and pulled Cassidy into it. Letting go of her wrist, he flipped on the lights. Cassidy looked around in surprise. She was standing in the middle of what was obviously a man's bedroom - and given the Spartan appearance, she would lay money on the fact that it was Jesse's.

In five years of dating Brad, Cassidy had never been into his bedroom. But, having known Jesse Turner for less than five minutes, she was standing alongside him in his. Cassidy tried to quell the thrill of excitement that flooded through her body at the thought of Jesse's bed. She had come here to deliver a letter and that was all.  Anyway, the man was acting like a jerk.

Once again, Cassidy held the letter out to Jesse. "This is yours. Please take it so I can leave."

Jesse was a big man. He loomed well over a foot taller than Cassidy and outweighed her by quite a bit. When he maneuvered himself to be standing against the now closed bedroom door, blocking Cassidy's way out, she shot him a concerned look.

"Don't worry. I've just had a change of heart. I feel like I might get upset over Aunt Mimi's news. I think I do need you to stay and comfort me," Jesse said with a quirk of his eyebrow.

Cassidy's eyes grew large. "Just what kind of woman do you think that I am? I came here to give you this and to offer sympathy to some lost little girl living in the big city. I didn't know that she was going to turn out to be a he and that he was going to turn out to be some bodybuilding hunk of a man. Just because I made one mistake, don't think I'm going to make another by having. . . doing. . . whatever it is that you are planning on having me do in this room!"

Jesse narrowed his own eyes. "Surely you can find it in your heart to help me out during this time of distress. After all, I could make it worth your time. I could even arrange for your friend to get hooked up with Van."

Cassidy couldn't believe her ears. "Why you - you - jerk! How dare you try to blackmail me into your bed! Let me out of this room before I start screaming. And don't you dare try to stop me!"

Although Cassidy was certain that Jesse wasn't going to do anything to her that she didn't want, she wasn't exactly sure how she was supposed to get past him to walk out his bedroom door. In fact, Cassidy couldn't even see the door behind his huge frame.


When Cassidy looked back up into Jesse's face, she was surprised to see him smiling at her. In none of their interactions up until that point had she seen any genuine feeling on his face. But at that moment, Cassidy could see real warmth in his features.

"I'm sorry, Cassidy. I had to make sure. Van has so many people chasing after him. I have to take my job seriously and weed out all the ones that I can. I didn't mean to offend you," Jesse said.

Cassidy stared at him in her confusion. "So what am I doing in your bedroom? Do you bring all of the potential problem people back here?"

Before Cassidy's very eyes, Jesse's face turned red. She watched as he hesitated then said, "Not really. That was a first. I just needed some edge to make you tell me the truth. The bedroom isn't my usual method of interrogation. Nor is using my aunt's letters from home."

For a moment, Cassidy met Jesse's gaze. In his eyes, she thought she could see a bit of laughter, uncertainty, and something else - something that looked remarkably like interest. Unable to tear her own eyes away, Cassidy stood mesmerized.

It was unclear how long the two of them stood staring at each other. They were interrupted when the door behind Jesse was suddenly pushed open.

"Jess? I need to go over this schedule wi- . . . " Van Henderson stopped just inside the door, since the door banged heavily against Jesse's back. Van stepped around Jesse and took in the scene before him. Although Cassidy and Jesse weren't touching, Cassidy's face turned bright red at the implications of being in a man's bedroom.

"Well, well," Van said, "Aren't you Robin's friend? The one we met last night? You sure didn't waste any time with this one, Jesse."

If Cassidy had thought that her face was red before, it was downright painful now. The way Van said it made it sound like Jesse was quite a player. What an idiot she was. There for a moment, she had actually thought Jesse might be interested in her - yeah, right. That would be the day when a man as desirable as Jesse Turner might actually have any romantic thoughts about her.

Cassidy caught the look that Jesse shot Van, but she wasn't sure what it meant. Whatever it was, it caused Van to look rather reticent. His next words were much more subdued. Van said, "Jesse, I really do need to go over this schedule with you, but it can wait. I'm sorry to have interrupted." Turning toward Cassidy, he added, "Please tell Robin I said hello." Then he turned and left, closing the door behind him.

The silence stretched between Cassidy and Jesse, as Cassidy stared anywhere but at Jesse. Finally, with a loud sigh, Jesse said, "I don't suppose . . ."

Closing her eyes, Cassidy said, "Please, don't say anything. I just need to go. I'm sorry about the mix up. I hope that the letter from Wilma doesn't upset you too much. I have to go now." Then, taking advantage of the opening Van had made, she slipped past Jesse and out the door. Once in the hallway, Cassidy found herself practically running to get out the front door.

And she almost made it. Only feet from freedom, Cassidy felt a hand on her arm. Annoyed, she looked up and saw Van staring intently at her. Rather than give in to the desire to shake off his restraining hold and bolt out the door, Cassidy stopped. 

"What can I do for you, Van?" Cassidy asked.

Van looked somewhat uncomfortable. "Look, I just wanted to apologize. There was no cause for what I said back there. Jesse doesn't have a string of women that he brings around. I'm not exactly sure why I was trying to scare you off. Jesse is a good friend to me. I guess I was just feeling a little over protective."

Cassidy laughed at the irony. "The whole reason I was in his bedroom in the first place was because he was trying to protect you. Maybe you two have some protection issues you need to work out."

Van smiled slightly. "Yeah, I guess so. I am sorry though about being rude. I need to go apologize to Jesse now. But I didn't want you to get away thinking that I was some kind of jerk and that Jesse was some kind of Casanova. If you mean enough to him to get into his bedroom, you must be important."

Cassidy wanted to assure Van that she wasn't anything special, but, at that moment, she wasn't sure she could get out any coherent sentences. She was feeling far too mixed up. So, instead, she nodded her head and murmured, "Good bye, Van." Then she walked quickly out of the man's house.

Sitting in her car a few moments later, Cassidy thought back over the last 30 minutes of her life. She had never dreamed that delivering Wilma's letter would be so traumatic. But, damn it, "little Jess" wasn't supposed to be so damn sexy, either! Shaking her head at her own thoughts, Cassidy resolved to try to let it go. Jesse hadn't really wanted her to be in his bedroom - it was only a test. And she had passed. It was time to move on.

Cassidy didn't bother trying to find a job that afternoon. She didn't have the emotional stamina to even look. Instead, she went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients she needed to cook up lasagna for supper for her and Robin. It was therapeutic to sling pots and pans, chop up veggies and stab the meat as it browned!

Robin was delayed at her job and called to let Cassidy know that she planned to be home around 6:00. By the time she arrived, Cassidy had supper on the table, complete with salad and crusty french bread. Robin was thrilled that she didn't have to make any arrangements for supper and Cassidy was glad to have the chance to pay Robin back for her hospitality. 

After supper, the two women sat at the table and talked for several hours. Cassidy told Robin about her strange adventure at Van Henderson's house. Cassidy noticed that Robin seemed to perk up and pay extra attention every time that she mentioned Van. 


Finally, around 9:00, Robin threw Cassidy out of the kitchen and insisted on doing the dishes. Cassidy wondered into the living room to sit down. She noticed that Robin's computer was beeping. 

"Robin? Your computer is complaining to me about something. Should I do anything?" Cassidy called through the house.

Robin stuck her head around the corner. "Oh, that's the 'you've got mail' beep. Push that tab key to get it to hush."

After Cassidy pushed the appropriate key, she noticed that a message scrolled onto the screen. 

"Robin?" Cassidy called again. "I think you better come in here!"

Cassidy stood behind the monitor and watched Robin's face as she moved to see what Cassidy was staring at. Cassidy laughed out loud at Robin's shocked look.

On the screen was a virtual bouquet with a waving banner across the bottom of the page. It informed the recipient that the sender was Van Henderson and that he was looking forward to cashing in his rain check!

"Well," Cassidy said, "What are you waiting for? Write the man back! I'll finish the dishes."

Without even a second's hesitation, Robin absentmindedly handed Cassidy the dishrag and dropped into the chair in front of her computer. Cassidy laughed to herself as she headed into the kitchen to clean up. She hoped it worked out well for Robin and Van.

Later that night, Robin was back to what appeared to be her normal off-work self. She talked about some of the kids that she worked with and how much she loved what she did. Cassidy not only enjoyed the stories, she also liked how comfortable Robin seemed to be with her life. 

Cassidy found out that Robin was 29, had never been married and had only had two serious relationships. She had gone so far as to get engaged to one of the men before she found out that he had maxed out her credit cards. The other man she had broken things off with because she found that she was being too critical of him. After that relationship, Robin had gone into counselling and had worked out a few of her own personal issues. Now, she was a lot healthier emotionally. And she was ready to settle down. But only with the right guy.

Cassidy found herself sharing more of her own history with Robin. She told Robin about growing up believing that she would only cause problems by letting others know about her own wants and needs. As a teenager, Cassidy had longed to date and be socially active, but her father had forbidden her to date until she was 17. Cassidy would never have told him how much that hurt or how badly she wanted to date - not that anyone was waiting around to date her.  

After high school graduation, Cassidy continued hiding her personal desires. Rather than striking out on her own, Cassidy continued living at home and started classes at the community college in Sweetwater. There, she had been exposed to a larger variety of people, but the patterns from her childhood were too far ingrained to break free. She shied away from her new classmates and further isolated herself from her peers.  Without much fanfare, Cassidy finished her Associates degree in business management and joined the work force.

With that degree, Cassidy found a job in the secretarial pool for the largest law firm in Sweetwater - which wasn't saying a lot. All that meant was the she was one of six women who spent their days pecking at the keys of a computer, with no hope of advancement. When her parents had died a few years later, Cassidy had inherited enough money to quit her job and go back to school. For what felt like the first time in her life, Cassidy took classes that interested her. It was then that she had discovered her love of accounting. Somehow, she had missed it when she was getting her first degree.

This time, Cassidy took enough classes to get her Bachelors degree in accounting, all through the extension program from the University of South Carolina. Although she decided not to sit for the boards, she had managed to find plenty of work doing bookkeeping for several of the local business in Sweetwater. But even with all of the contacts she had, Cassidy never seemed to connect with anyone. She was treated as a hired hand who did an important job - but nothing more. 

It was during her final year of her Bachelors program that Cassidy had met Brad Frazier. Although Cassidy hadn't finished her degree yet, she had advertized to do bookkeeping for any of the local business. Brad's father owned a small hardware store and he had jumped on the chance to hire Cassidy to keep his books and do his payroll. During Cassidy's second week there, Brad had breezed into the store and dropped down on the corner of Cassidy's desk. 

"Hi, doll! Don't I know you?" Brad had asked. And that was all it took.




Fullness Of Life Ch. 02



Cassidy had never been called doll in her life and it was all down hill from there. Brad Frazier was a sponge, who never did more than day labor and beg off of his parents, but he was a silvertongued sponge, much beloved around the entire county. He had wowed Cassidy into their first date, even managing to make her feel lucky when he let her pay the check. 

After that Brad set the tone for their relationship by telling Cassidy upfront that he liked for "his woman" to take good care of him and to dress a little less noticeably than other women. After all, he didn't want to have to be jealous. In retrospect, Cassidy wondered why she hadn't see the red flags then. But, instead, she had bought even plainer clothes and cleared out her calendar to begin her long standing courtship with Brad.

Cassidy had finished her degree and built up a steady business for herself. But, during the past year, Cassidy had been turning more and more of her work load over to a young woman who was just finishing up her own degree in accounting. Brad had been dropping hints that he didn't think Cassidy was spending enough time with him and that "his woman" wouldn't be a working woman. In the end, it had only been a week ago that Cassidy had handed over the last account to her co-worker and resigned herself to not working. Again, Cassidy wondered where the red flags had been. 

Cassidy was surprised at first that Robin seemed to be genuinely interested in her life story. She had always thought of herself as rather boring, but as Cassidy listened to the words she was saying, she realized that there was a lot to who she was. In telling her story out loud, Cassidy realized that she had overcome a lot of barriers and had done some things to be proud of. She hadn't just begun coming to life a few nights ago in the Sweetwater Diner. She had been in the process all of her life - this was just the biggest growth spurt she had ever had!

Finally, when the clock struck midnight, the two women hugged each other good night and headed off to bed. Cassidy felt closer to Robin than she had to anyone during her entire life. But, sharing such intimate details of who she was left her drained and exhausted - and proud. Dropping into her bed, she smiled, pleased with who she was becoming and where her life was going. 

As Cassidy drifted off to sleep, she entered that state of consciousness where thoughts are not bound by the constraints of logic. When she slowly lost herself to sleep, the last thoughts she had were of being in Jesse Turner's bedroom and in Jesse Turner's arms.

When the morning came, Robin was once again gone before Cassidy got out of bed. Cassidy grabbed a bowl of cereal and opened the newspaper to look for jobs. She knew that she could eventually establish the same kind of operation she had once had in Sweetwater. But that took time and contacts. For now, she needed to find a job she could work at while she was feeling out the territory. Nothing jumped out at Cassidy in the want ads, so she decided to go on line after her shower.

Cassidy took her time in the shower, shaving her legs and washing her hair. When she got out, she put on body lotion and the barest of make-up. After drying her hair she wrapped the towel around her, pleased to see that Robin's towels were big enough to actually make it around her body. Then she headed down the hall to her bedroom.

When Cassidy was halfway down the hall, she heard someone in the kitchen. Knowing that Robin was at work, Cassidy almost screamed. But being a typical human being, instead of going to another room and calling the police, Cassidy sneaked down the hall to peek into the kitchen to see what was going on. 

Cassidy got close enough to see through the crack between the door and it's frame. Again, she almost cried out when she realized that there was a man standing in the kitchen. He wasn't that tall, but he was broad across the shoulders. Cassidy could see his ponytail and guessed him to be in his mid-30's. She committed as many of his features to memory as she could, so she would be able to give the police a good description when the time came. 

Cassidy couldn't tell why the man was in the kitchen, though. Yet again, instead of going to call the police, Cassidy leaned closer to the door to try to figure out what the man was doing. Cassidy wasn't the most graceful of human beings and trying to be stealthy was really stretching her abilities. Without warning, she suddenly lost her balance and stumbled into the kitchen door which swung open, letting her continue falling forward. She didn't stop until she was finally able to regain her footing - in the middle of the kitchen!

The man, who had been talking on his cell phone, facing sideways, looking out the window, lunged forward to catch her. This time, Cassidy couldn't stop her scream. When the terrified sound tore from her throat, it was matched in volume by an identical sound coming from the man. Cassidy suddenly realized that this man, whoever he was, was just as frightened by her sudden appearance as she was by his.

Managing to catch her breath, Cassidy said, "Who are you?"

The man, who was still holding Cassidy's arm that he had grabbed to steady her when she had first entered the room, said, "I'm Mick - the security guy. Who are you?"

Cassidy looked down at Mick's shirt pocket that clearly stated the name of a well known security company. "What are you doing here?" Cassidy asked, breathing heavily and ignoring Mick's question.

"Mr. Henderson said that he had cleared the installation of a new security system with a . . . " Mick looked down at a piece of paper laying on the counter nearby. "A Miss Jordan?"

Cassidy laughed nervously. "Mr. Henderson? Van Henderson? And Robin knows about this and is OK with it?"

Mick finally dropped his hand from Cassidy's arm and stepped slightly away. A slow grin spread across his face. "I take it that you aren't Miss Jordan?"

Cassidy's face reddened. "No. I'm a houseguest. I didn't know that Robin had agreed to anything like this. We only met Van two days ago . . . I'm sorry that I screamed at you."

With a short laugh, Mick said, "It's ok. It's not everyday that I have a half dressed woman run screaming into my arms."

Glancing quickly down at her body, Cassidy realized she was still wearing just her towel. Remarkably, it had stayed put during her entire encounter with Mick. Realizing that she was about to start babbling due to her embarrassment, Cassidy opted to refrain from answering Mick immediately. After a few moments, when she felt a bit more composed, she raised her head to respond.

It was a lost effort, though. Mick was standing in front of her, grinning like a Cheshire cat, leering at her playfully. Suddenly Cassidy couldn't hold her laughter in any more - it burst forth from her and was met by Mick's own. The tension of the encounter had left them both with unused adrenaline and it seemed to find its outlet in their uncontrollable laughter.  

Cassidy and Mick were laughing so hard that they failed to notice that they were no longer alone in the kitchen. Mick had, once again, stepped closer to Cassidy and had dropped his arm around her shoulder. "Sweet thing, you can join me anytime - you sure brightened up my day!" Mick said between gasps of air.

Cassidy's response was cut short by the loud cough that came from the other side of the kitchen. Both Mick and Cassidy jerked their attention to the door across the room. Standing in the opening was none other than Jesse Turner. 

"What are you doing here?" Cassidy asked.

It was obvious that Jesse was talking through clinched teeth when he answered, "I was checking to make sure Ms. Jordan's security system was being installed correctly. I didn't realize that the security company was in the habit of offering other services - or that you would be here happily accepting their offerings!"

Both Mick and Cassidy stared open mouthed at Jesse. Cassidy was the first to recover. "How dare you! Get out of this house! I will not tolerate you barging into my house - or the house I'm staying in - or any other house - and making such accusations!"

Mick was a little more straightforward. "Buddy, you might be a little bigger than me, but I think you owe the lady an apology. She came in here to defend her friend's home and she doesn't deserve to be slammed like that. If you can't find it in you to be man enough to tell the lady that you are sorry, I think you and I need to step outside for a few minutes."

When Jesse scowled at Mick and didn't immediately answer, Cassidy looked from Mick to Jesse and back to Mick. Realizing that neither one of them was paying her any attention, she threw her hands in the air, and said, "Fine. You two stand down here and play your macho games. I'm going to get dressed." Then she spun on her heel and left the kitchen, heading to her bedroom.

Cassidy had managed to put on her jeans and tee shirt before she heard a knock on her bedroom door. Opening it, she was surprised to find Mick standing in the hall. He was holding a handkerchief up to his nose, which was obviously bleeding. "Mr. Turner said that your name is Cassidy. I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for surprising you. I didn't know anyone would be here. But, I'm not sorry about anything else. Any time you want to run into my arms, they're wide open." With a playful wink, Mick turned and walked down the hall.

Cassidy was rooted to the spot. A sexy man had obviously just made a pass at her after defending her honor. Her brain was spinning. She still hadn't managed to move when she saw Jesse coming down the hall toward her. When he stepped into the light coming from her bedroom, she was shocked to see that his eye was red and already swelling.

"What did you two do? Go at it like two school boys?" Cassidy asked in amazement.

She was floored when Jesse's face broke into a wide grin. "Nah. We men have more sense than that. We just kinda agree to trade punches and call it even. Course, your Mick got in two since I was the one at fault."

Wide eyed and open mouthed, Cassidy stared at Jesse like he was crazy. Finally, she said, "Look, Jesse, he's not 'my Mick'. I met him minutes before you walked through the door . . . "

Jesse nodded his head. "Yeah, he explained it all to me after he landed his second punch in my gut."

Shaking her head in bewilderment, Cassidy turned back into her room. Shrugging her shoulders, she said, "I've already been in your bedroom. You might as well come on in mine. I have to get my shoes, and I'm not sure I want to let you out of my sight. I can't trust you to not go punch out the mailman's lights."

Jesse laughed behind her as she heard him move into the room. "Your mailcarrier happens to be a woman. We put surveillance on this place the moment that I gave Robin Van's personal business card. When we realized that there had been a few break ins in the area, Van contacted Robin about getting a security system. I see she forgot to mention it to you."

Cassidy turned to look at Jesse. He had sat down on the edge of her bed, with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Rather than the suit he had worn both of the other times she had seen him, this time he was in jeans and a denim shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His boots looked worn and comfortable and he looked big and powerful. And far too much at home in Cassidy's bedroom. Cassidy frowned and cocked her head to one side. Trying to stay focused on the issue at hand, she asked, "Just when did Van ask Robin about this security system?"

Jesse chuckled. "Can't get much over on you. He contacted her at work this morning."

Rolling her eyes, Cassidy said, "No wonder I didn't know! What did you do, have them sitting in the driveway when he offered?"

Looking thoughtful, Jesse rubbed his chin and said, "No - they were across the street. Next time I'll have them in the driveway - that's a really good idea."

Cassidy wanted to throw the boot she was putting on her foot at his head. "You know, Jesse Turner, I have wanted to call you more names in the last 48 hours than I can ever remember wanting to call anyone - no matter how long I had known them. You really are something." 

Cassidy finished slipping on her boots and stood up. Because she was looking directly at Jesse, she saw the look that he gave her - the fleeting glance that travelled over her body and settled back on her face. Shaking her head in bewilderment, Cassidy put her hands on her hips and demanded, "What is up with you? Do you make every woman feel like you are undressing her with your eyes?"

Jesse was across the small room in record time. Before Cassidy had a chance to realize what he was about to do, the big man stopped in front of her and hauled her into his chest. Cassidy tilted her head back and looked up at him in confusion. And then he kissed her.

The kiss wasn't at all like Cassidy had expected. Given the fact that the man was huge, he had just been in a fist fight and he didn't seem to have a tender bone in him, Cassidy expected him to be rough. But as all of the stress and pressure of the last hour seemed to explode in the air around Cassidy, Jesse softly caressed her lips with his. After a moment, she felt his tongue gently tickle her upper lip. Opening to him was as natural as breathing for Cassidy. And Jesse willingly took what she offered.

Cassidy wasn't sure how long the two of them stood in her bedroom, liplocked. She just knew that when he pulled his mouth away, she had to lean into his chest to maintain her balance. Jesse was holding her close to him and she was breathing in his scent. For a moment in time, the rest of the world ceased to exist and Jesse Turner was all that Cassidy needed. 

But, as the old saying goes, time stands still for no one. The shrill ringing of the phone down the hall in the kitchen brought Cassidy back to reality. Pulling back, she looked up into Jesse's face and then quickly looked away. His arms were still looped loosely around her back. 

"I need to go . . . the phone is ringing . . . I need to answer it . . . " Cassidy stammered. Then she stepped away and rushed from the room, toward the kitchen. 

Grabbing the phone, Cassidy realized that her voice was too loud as she answered, saying, "Hello? Hello?"

Robin's voice came over the line. "Cassidy, I wanted to let you know that Van suggested a security system for the house and a technician might be by today to check it out. I didn't want him to surprise you."

Cassidy burst out laughing. "You are a little too late, Robin! But, don't worry, I think we've gotten it all taken care of now. I'll tell you all about it later!"

After saying good-bye, Cassidy turned around to find Jesse leaning in the doorway. A little too quickly, she said, "That was Robin. She wanted to tell me about the security system . . . "

Jesse closed the distance between them and put his hands on Cassidy's shoulders. Quietly, he asked, "Are you all right?"

Refusing to meet Jesse's eyes, Cassidy shook her head and stared at his left shoulder. Biting her bottom lip, Cassidy said, "I don't make a habit of doing any of the things that I've done this morning, and I'm afraid that I am not handling this well. You probably have lots of experience with this sort of thing, but I don't. I just got to town three days ago and then I met you and you are so . . . well, you are just so . . . you. And I've never even been in a man's bedroom and I've never had a man in my bedroom. And now, I've done both. And to make matters worse, I'm babbling!"

Jesse's soft chuckle made Cassidy's eyes fly to his face. Cassidy's breath caught in her throat. Even with his growing black eye, he was the best looking man she had ever seen. 

Jesse's voice, when he spoke, was soothing and calm. He said, "Cassidy, I don't make it a habit either. Contrary to this image you seem to have of me, I don't date a lot and I don't drag women into my bedroom every night. I didn't mean to kiss you, but you were just so damn cute up there with your hands on your hips, looking all ticked off. I forgot my best intentions and grabbed the chance to taste you." Then, winking at her, he added, "And I wasn't disappointed!"

Cassidy could feel the blush in her cheeks, but she couldn't pull her eyes away from his. She realized that if one of them didn't move soon, they were going to be kissing again. As much as she wanted that, she really wasn't ready for it. So, with what felt like a colossal effort, Cassidy moved away from Jesse. 

Crossing the kitchen, Cassidy opened the fridge and said, "I need a cold drink. Would you like a Coke?" She grabbed two and stepped up to the island that sat in the middle of Robin's kitchen. Jesse was on the other side of the island. Cassidy noticed that he didn't miss her pointed effort to put distance between them. But he didn't question her actions, either.

Jesse took the Coke from Cassidy, but before he even opened it, he said, "I think I better be going. The security guy said that he would be back in an hour to look the place over. I'm sorry again about the mix up. I never realized that you would be here alone."

When Jesse was almost to the door, he turned back to face Cassidy, "By the way, the towel looked really good on you - maybe you ought to buy a few more for your wardrobe." Then, with another wink, he was gone.

For long minutes after the door closed behind Jesse, Cassidy remained standing in the kitchen, staring into space. She had never met a man like Jesse. Brad had been handsome and flirty, but he had never touched her beyond a perfunctory kiss good night. But Jesse - well, now he was a different story.

It wasn't long until Cassidy heard the doorbell ring. When she opened the door, she found Mick standing on the front porch. He smiled at her, grimacing when his nose twinged. Trying to stifle her giggles, Cassidy let him in. After she ascertained that his nose wasn't broken, they got down to business. 

The next couple of hours was spent looking over the house with Mick. He took tons of notes and made several different sketches. Cassidy had only been in Robin's home for a few days, so there were some questions that Mick asked that she couldn't answer, but she did her best. By 1:30, Mick was finished.

Satisfied that he had all that he needed, Cassidy showed Mick to the door. He stopped at the threshold and turned back to look at her. With a thoughtful look on his face, Mick said, "You know, I've not met many women that I had the honor of defending. And I've not met many women who had a man who cared enough to take on another man over her - at least not sober! But you've got a winner in Jesse. I'm only sorry that he met you first." And then, with a quick smile, Mick walked away.

Once again, Cassidy was left standing alone, staring after the departing back of a man. Twice in one day was just about more than she could take. Shaking her head to clear it, she turned back into the house. She knew that she couldn't handle too many days like this one.

Looking at the clock, Cassidy realized that it was after lunchtime. She was hungry and she knew that there wasn't anything in Robin's fridge that she wanted for lunch. She hadn't taken the time to explore much around Nashville yet and now seemed like as good of a time as any. Grabbing her keys and purse, she headed out to find something to eat and to learn a little about her new home town. 

It didn't take Cassidy long to locate a McDonald's to grab a sandwich. She took it to a nearby park that she had seen on her way to deliver Jesse's letter the day before. Sitting on the grass in the sunshine, Cassidy felt her soul sighing in peace. Jesse had turned her world upside down with that kiss, but it was still her world and she was in control of it. It felt good to be alive.

After she finished eating, Cassidy got back in her car and began driving around the city. She saw signs for The Grand Ol' Opry and decided to follow them. She ended up sitting outside the Opry Mills Shopping Center. It called Cassidy's name and she spent the next little while wandering around, window shopping.  Cassidy lost track of time and was shocked when she realized it was after 5:00. She hurried to her car and headed back to Robin's house.




Fullness Of Life Ch. 02



Robin was pulling into the driveway just as Cassidy was getting out of her vehicle. Cassidy waved at her then noticed that there was someone in the car with Robin. She squinted her eyes and recognized Van Henderson. Robin parked alongside her and the two got out. 

"Hello Cassidy," Van said as he climbed out of Robin's car. 

"Hello yourself," Cassidy responded. She wasn't as wowed by Van as everyone else seemed to be, so she felt no need to swoon at his feet. 

By that time, Robin had come around the car and joined the two of them. "Let's go inside. Van wanted to come and see how the security system check went."

Cassidy nodded knowingly. She just bet that Van wanted to check out the system. More than likely, it was Robin that he wanted to check out! Anyway, there wasn't anything to see about the system yet.

Once they were in the house, Cassidy excused herself and went to her bedroom. She slipped off her boots and grabbed a pair of jogging pants. Barefooted and much more comfortable, she went back out into the living room.

Robin and Van were sitting on the couch, with their heads close together, talking rather intimately. Cassidy wished that she had stayed in the bedroom, but now it was too late. Thinking quickly, she said, "Robin, I hope you don't mind, but I'm feeling kind of under the weather. If it's all right with you, I'm going to call it an early night and just see if I can sleep it off."

Cassidy could have sworn that Van's eyes lit up the room at that instant. He stood up quickly, pulling Robin up with him. "In that case," Van said, "We need to get out of here so we won't bother you. We were planning to eat here with you, but if you don't feel well, we'll go out and grab some dinner."

The man was good - Cassidy had to give him that. He could think on his feet. Smiling slightly, Cassidy waved her hand in the air. "That sounds wonderful. You don't mind, do you, Robin?"

The blush on Robin's face told Cassidy all she needed to know. Without another word, Cassidy turned back to her bedroom.

It only took about five minutes before Cassidy heard the door open and shut behind the couple. She wandered out of the bedroom and went through the house. Not very hopeful of finding anything worthwhile on tv, Cassidy bypassed it and headed for the kitchen. She made herself a bowl of soup and sat down at the kitchen table. Once she had finished, she went into the living room and began looking through Robin's collection of books. After finding one that she liked, she curled up on the couch and began reading.

Cassidy found that the words on the page kept running together. She tried to focus, but her thoughts kept floating back to Jesse's kiss. It was the most incredible moment of her life - not that she had ever had much of a life, but that kiss was something else! Cassidy was lost in her thoughts when the ringing of the telephone startled her. Laying down her book and laughing at herself, she crossed the room and answered it. 

Ray's voice leapt out at her over the wires, "Girl! I'm glad to hear your voice. How's everything going in the big city?"

For the next 30 minutes, Cassidy and Ray swapped stories. Cassidy found out that Cindy Ann had heard about Brad's outburst at the diner and had given him an ultimatum. According to her, he had soiled her reputation. The whole town knew that Brad had exactly one week to decide if he was going to marry Cindy Ann or if she was going to throw him out like yesterday's garbage. Cindy Ann's family was rather wealthy and they had quite a bit of power in the small town. Brad's future as a happy go lucky bachelor was in serious peril!

After laughing herself to tears, Cassidy bid an affectionate good-bye to Ray and rang off. Then she went back to the couch and her book. She had almost settled down when the phone rang again. It was Ray, telling her that he had forgotten what he had called about the first time. He needed to tell Robin about an upcoming family reunion. After taking his message, Cassidy hung up and headed back to the couch. 

Right as she sat down, the phone began ringing again. Thinking that Ray must have forgotten to tell her something else, Cassidy picked up the receiver and said, "Sweetie, you know that I love you, but you're wearing me out!"

The voice that spoke back to Cassidy wasn't Ray's though. It was Jesse Turner's. "Glad to know it. I was afraid that you would have already forgotten about me."

Too quickly, Cassidy said, "I'm sorry, Jesse. I thought that you were someone else . . . a friend from back home."

Jesse didn't answer Cassidy right away. In fact, Cassidy was beginning to worry that he had hung up when he finally spoke. "Van asked me to check up on you. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Jesse," Cassidy said. "I'm just headed for bed. Alone."

Jesse's deep laugh was followed almost immediately by the click indicating that he had disconnected the call. Cassidy frowned at the phone before hanging it up. "That man needs some help with his manners," she mumbled to herself.

Grabbing her book, Cassidy decided that she could rest better in her bedroom. She snuggled down into her comforter and began trying to read again. Thoughts of Jesse wouldn't stay at bay though, and she had to keep starting the same sentence over and over. She hadn't even reached chapter two before she was sound asleep.



Fullness Of Life Ch. 03



The next morning, Cassidy got up early and got ready to go. Because Mick had told Cassidy the installers from his company would need to be in the house all day, Cassidy wanted to spend as much of the day as possible away from the house. Dressing in a bright yellow sundress, Cassidy pulled her long curls into a clip at the back of head and let them fall down her back. She added some flashy silver earrings and decided that she was ready to go.

Cassidy had almost made it to her car before she saw the security company's van pull into the driveway. Recognizing Mick in the passenger seat, Cassidy waved to him. Mick climbed out of the truck and called across the yard, "Good morning, Sunshine!"

Shaking her head in amusement, Cassidy called out her own hello, then climbed into her car. She had a lot to do today and no time to spend on small talk.

There were two items of business on Cassidy's agenda. She needed a place to live and a job. She had actually found several leads for both. She spent the morning looking at apartments, getting an idea of what she could afford. Then, after a quick lunch she began looking for a job.

The first office she visited reminded her of the lawyer's office in Sweetwater. The women who were working there all looked bored stiff. Although the receptionist was polite and the place was decent enough, Cassidy didn't want to go back into that kind of setting if she could help it. She thanked the receptionist for the application and took it with her as she left.

The second, third and fourth offices that were on Cassidy's list were remarkably similar to the first. Since Cassidy had never gotten her CPA license, none of the offices would talk to her about anything other than secretarial work. Shaking her head in amazement, Cassidy decided to take a break and grab a Coke.

Spotting a diner on the street she was driving down, Cassidy parked her car and went in. The moment that she walked through the door, she felt like she had stepped back in time. The antiques that decorated the place looked like the genuine thing rather than cheap reproductions. There were several tables dotting the floor, but the primary seating was at the counter up front.

Since the place was fairly deserted, Cassidy made her way up to the counter and sat down. The older gentleman who had been wiping down the counter, stepped up to Cassidy and asked her what she would like.

Before she had sat down, Cassidy had spied the assortment of ice cream that was partially hidden at the end of the counter. Smiling at the man she said, "I want a Coke and a big scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream."

The man's face broke into a huge grin. "A woman after my own heart," he said fondly. Then pointing to some pictures hanging on the wall, he continued, "That there is my wife. Prettiest woman I ever met. And a sweettooth that just won't quit! That woman loves her mint chocolate chip ice cream."

Cassidy looked at the first picture. It was an old black and white photo of a woman holding a baby. She was smiling into the camera and waving the baby's chubby little arm. Beside that photo was another of the same woman, much older, sitting surrounded by four handsome young men. The photo was far enough away to be hard to discern any particulars, but it was obvious that the woman in the middle of the group was the central force in the picture. Cassidy imagined that was because she was the central force in her family. She was a strong looking woman. In an unexpected flash of insight, Cassidy realized that she wanted to be like that some day. Strong and confident, and surrounded by a family of her own. And in her mind, the family around her strongly resembled one Jesse Turner!

The older man handed Cassidy her ice cream first, then went to get her Coke. While he had his back to Cassidy, the same woman from the photos burst through the back door. "Horace, I have had it with these books. I can't make hide or hare out of your notes. After 38 years, you would think that I could figure out what you meant, but honey, you are beyond me."

Although the woman's words were rough, there was no sting in them. As she talked, she walked up to her husband and hugged him from behind. Then she said, "We just have to get some help, darling. I don't want to spend my days deciphering your handwriting!"

Cassidy watched as the man turned around in his wife's arms and put his own arms around her. "I know sweetie, I just haven't found anyone I could trust. Just give me some time."

Quirking her eyebrow, Cassidy didn't take the time to think before she blurted out, "Are you talking about accounting books? Like payroll and expenses?"

Both the man and the woman turned to look at Cassidy. The woman nodded her head and said emphatically, "Yes, that would be the type! I can't stand them!"

Cassidy smiled warmly at the couple. "Well, maybe we can help each other out. I'm new here in town and I'm an accountant - not a CPA, but an accountant. I am looking to find a job, but what I really want to do is to find a couple of businesses who need help doing their books. Would you all be willing to let me have a look and see if I can help you?"

While Cassidy finished her ice cream, Horace Amos and his wife, whom he introduced as Eleanor, told Cassidy about their business. Afterwards, Eleanor took Cassidy into the back and showed her a few of their accounting methods. Cassidy was thrilled. It was perfect. For all of her complaining, Eleanor had done an excellent job keeping track of everything. All that Cassidy needed to do was take over from where Eleanor left off. The two women spent almost an hour reviewing what Cassidy could do for them.

When Eleanor and Cassidy returned from the back room, Eleanor announced to Horace that she had found the answer to their problems. Horace just nodded and smiled that same smile that Cassidy came to recognize as the one he reserved solely for Eleanor. Then he went back to watching the small tv that was sitting near the cash register.

Eleanor and Cassidy arranged for Cassidy to start the following Monday. Cassidy figured that it would take about a week to get a handle on everything for Horace and Eleanor. But after that, she would start looking for other businesses to work with. Fortunately, she had enough money to be able to survive until she could line up what she needed.

When Cassidy got home, Robin was already there. Cassidy was surprised to find Robin in the kitchen cutting up vegetables and boiling something on the stove. Deciding to tease Robin a little, Cassidy said, "I didn't know you could cook!"

Robin laughed and rolled her eyes. "Would you believe that I'm actually trying to cook to impress Van? I think I would have been better off ordering in and claiming that I was a gourmet chef who always produced perfect cordon blue!"

Laughing herself, Cassidy grabbed a handful of cherry tomatos and sat down on a stool near the island where Robin was working. Cassidy said, "It seems like things are going well for you and Van. Want to tell me anything?"

It was almost as though Cassidy had opened a floodgate. Words rushed out of Robin's mouth. Apparently things were going very well between Van and Robin. He had asked her to go with him to a few of his concerts. He called her everyday at work and even sent her notes and flowers. Robin finished up her story, saying, "I'm just so afraid that this is how he treats every woman that he decided that he wants. And to tell you the truth, I don't think I can hold out against his charm. If he wants me, I'm already his. Pathetic, huh?"

From the doorway behind the two women, Van's voice boomed, "I don't think it is pathetic at all. I'm really glad that you feel that way. Because I don't want to ever be away from you again, Robin Jordan."

Robin and Cassidy had both been surprised by Van's sudden appearance. They hadn't heard him come in and they hadn't realized that he was listening to their conversation. Cassidy knew that it wasn't her place though, to decide how to deal with Van at that moment. What really mattered was how Robin felt about him and his actions.

Cassidy looked at Robin and realized that she was staring helplessly at Van. Van walked across the room, ignoring Cassidy's presence completely. He only had eyes for Robin. In a deep and caring voice, he said, "Robin, I know that we have only known each other for a few days, but I feel like I've known you all my life. I will understand if you want to wait, but Robin, I want to marry you."

Pulling a box out of his jacket pocket, Van popped it open. Inside was a beautiful, simple diamond solitaire. "My grandfather gave this to my grandmother. When she died, he gave it to me and told me that I would know when the right woman should have it. I've met thousands of women out on the road, and I kept thinking that Granddaddy was wrong. But when I walked into that restaurant the other night and saw you, I would swear that there was a neon sign pointing at you, saying that you were the one. I went home that night and got this ring out of my safe. I wanted to have it with me when the time was right. Robin, if this isn't the right time, then just tell me and I will wait. I only want you to know that my intentions are honorable. I want you to be my wife, not my mistress."

Cassidy looked up to see tears pouring down Robin's face. She heard Robin whisper, "Oh, Van! The time is perfect!" And with that, Robin threw her arms around Van's neck and gave him what looked to be the start of a serious kiss. Cassidy decided that she had overstayed her welcome, so she slipped quietly from the kitchen. Grabbing her keys, she exited the house as unobtrusively as possible.

With this new development in Robin's life, it was more important than ever that Cassidy quickly find a new place to live. Thinking back over a few of the apartments she had seen, Cassidy couldn't really pick any of them as the one she wanted to live in. As she drove around the city, she pondered what to do. Deciding that she hadn't seen anywhere else that she would rather eat, she pointed her car back in the direction of Horace and Eleanor's diner.

When Cassidy walked through the door this time, she was surprised to see the place almost full. Horace was still behind the counter, but there were also three young waitresses and at least one busboy. Cassidy figured that there must be adequate kitchen help as well. She was pleased to see that the diner was doing so well.

Finding a seat at the counter, Cassidy smiled as Horace handed her a Coke before she even had the chance to order it. He nodded at her and said, "Couldn't stay away, huh?"

Cassidy laughed as she took the menu that he was holding out to her. "I just needed a quick get away. My roommate just got proposed to, and I think that was one of those 'three's a crowd' kind of moments. So, I decided to come check out your dinner offerings."

Horace suggested the fried chicken and Cassidy agreed. He went off to give her order to the cook as Cassidy took the time to look around the place. She noticed that there were lots of families as well as a few couples frequenting the diner. But, as far as she could tell, she was the only person there alone. That sounded far too much like the story of her life and Cassidy made a decision to change that part of her life in the near future. She just needed to meet a few people first.

While Cassidy was lost in thought, Eleanor came over and sat on the empty stool beside her. Startled, Cassidy quickly gathered her wits and said hello.

Looking thoughtful, Eleanor said, "I wanted to talk to you some more. I've thought about what all you said earlier about needing to work. Horace and I have a proposition for you. What if you worked here in the diner a few days a week? And, if you want, there's an apartment upstairs where you could live. What do you think?"

Cassidy was dumbfounded. As she processed the unexpected offer in her head, she couldn't think of a single reason to say no. It would solve her immediate problem of needing a place to stay, as well as help her meet a few personal goals. Not only would she have a little income outside of her accounting, she would be in a position to meet more people.

Looking back around the diner at all of the people she could get to know, Cassidy felt excitement coursing through her body. Turning back to Eleanor, she said, "Are you sure? I mean, what if it doesn't work out? I've never worked as a waitress before."

Eleanor laughed out loud and said, "Then I fire your little tushie and throw you out! But I don't think we have to worry about that, sweetheart! You're not the first greenhorn I've taken on - and trust me, if I can train my boys to be good waiters, I can turn a rock into a good waitress! You'll be a piece of cake."

When Horace delivered Cassidy's supper, Eleanor told him that Cassidy had accepted their offer. He just nodded and smiled before walking off. Eleanor excused herself, explaining that she was off to see her grandkids. That left Cassidy alone with her thoughts. And her main thought was how excited she was that everything was really going to work out, after all!

Robin was sad the next morning when Cassidy told her that she had found another place to live. But when Cassidy pointed out that Van might be wanting to spend a little extra time with his fiancee, Robin's face lit up. Cassidy knew she was doing the right thing. Although she was scared that she would never see Jesse again since she wouldn't be hanging out with Robin, she knew she had to move on. She just hoped that she and Robin would be able to remain friends after the excitement of meeting, dating and marrying Van Henderson wore off. And maybe Jesse would still be around then.

Since it was Saturday, Cassidy called Eleanor and asked if it would be alright if she moved in immediately. Eleanor agreed to leave the key downstairs at the diner so Cassidy could come by anytime and start moving in. Cassidy thanked her and packed up her stuff.

Robin was planning to go to Van's house for the day, so she asked Cassidy if she could go with her to see the apartment first. After Cassidy got the key from Horace, the two women climbed the outside staircase. There was only one door at the top. When Cassidy opened it, she was shocked. The apartment was huge! It was a finished out attic, with tons of space.

Cassidy walked slowly through the rooms, taking it all in. There were three bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. There was a laundry room and a large sitting room. The last room was the combination kitchen/dining room. Like the rest of the apartment, the kitchen was fully furnished, complete with plates and silverware, pots and pans.

But, perhaps most importantly to Cassidy, the entire apartment was flooded with light. Huge windows, skylights and well placed fixtures made Cassidy feel like she was being soaked in sunshine. Just standing in the apartment made her feel good.

A loud cough at the door caused Cassidy and Robin to look toward the opening. Eleanor was standing in the doorframe. Cassidy said, "Please come in - I love this! Are you sure you don't mind me living here?"

Eleanor smiled warmly. "My Horace fixed this place up for me when we were first married. This is where we raised our children. When they grew up and moved out, we moved down the street to the home that I grew up in. Funny, we just seem to gravitate to family homes." Then, giving Cassidy a meaningful glance, she added, "Maybe one day your family can grow here."

Cassidy's eyes flew open wide. "Eleanor! I don't have any family - it's just me," Cassidy said in a anxious voice.

Eleanor's eyes seemed to twinkle and she said, "I know that dear, but you never know!" Then turning to face Robin, she said, "Don't I know you?"

Cocking her head to one side, Robin said, "I'm not sure, ma'am. I'm Robin Jordan. I work in the school system with hearing impaired children. Have we met?"

A chuckle escaped Eleanor, "No, my dear. But we have now. If I'm not mistaken, you would be newly engaged, wouldn't you?"

Obviously confused, Robin stared back at Eleanor. Finally, she said, "Yes, as of last night."

Nodding her head, Eleanor said, "My dear, his name wasn't always Henderson. He used to be Vance Amos. But his manager said that was too common. So they turned him into Van Henderson. Sounds good, but I always liked Vance Amos."

Cassidy looked back and forth between Eleanor and Robin. "Eleanor, your last name is Amos. Is Van your son?" Cassidy asked, incredulously.

The smile that broke forth from Eleanor's face threatened to outglow even the sunshine saturating the room. "He's my baby! He told me all about you, Robin. I didn't know that he was going to propose so quickly, but my mother's ring on your finger makes me think that he has already made up his mind. He was always a quick one!"

With a squeal of delight, Robin flew across the room and grabbed Eleanor in a close hug. Although Cassidy hadn't known either one of them very long, she had a feeling that these two were going to be very good friends.

The three women ended up sitting on the couch and talking for almost an hour. Finally, Robin glanced at her watch and said, "Oh, no! Van was expecting me 10 minutes ago! I better run!"

Eleanor placed a calming hand on Robin's arm. "Honey, it's best to let him know up front that you are worth waiting for!" Eleanor said with a wink.

That caused Robin and Cassidy to burst out laughing and Eleanor joined in. After a few more hugs and laughs, Robin left to go to Van's house, promising to bring him by to see his mother as soon as possible.

Cassidy stood shaking her head, watching Robin leave. "So, my old landlord is getting married to my new landlord's son. That seems somehow immoral!"

Eleanor chuckled then gave Cassidy a quick hug. "I better get downstairs and make sure Horace hasn't given up on me. Do you need anything?"

Casting a quick glance around the spotless, comfortable apartment, Cassidy shook her head. "Eleanor, this place is just perfect. I can't thank you enough."

When Cassidy was finally alone, she unpacked her suitcases. Although her thoughts kept skipping off on a fantasy of showing her new place to Jesse, she managed to get settled in fairly quickly. She did an inventory of what she wanted to go buy, including some sheets to fit the queen sized bed and some towels to match the mint green bathroom. A bathmat and a few kitchen towels and her list was complete.

After a leisurely shopping trip to the nearby Wal-Mart, Cassidy spent the rest of the day setting up her new home. Since the electricity and water were billed in combination with the diner, Cassidy had agreed to pay a flat fee to Eleanor each month. That only left the phone to get connected. Cassidy made a note and stuck it to the fridge to remind herself to take care of that first thing Monday morning.

Cassidy then decided to make one of the bedrooms into an office. It wasn't like she would ever even need one guest bedroom, let alone two. Since all of Horace and Eleanor's unneeded furniture was stored in various parts of the apartment, it only took Cassidy about an hour to find everything she needed to put her entire office together. Now she just needed a computer.

The laptop that Cassidy had for her own personal use was all that she had brought with her. She had left her entire system in her office when she had turned it over to her successor. If she was going to get back on her feet and do serious bookkeeping, she would need to purchase a new computer and all the programs she had used before.

Since it was getting late, Cassidy decided to put off going shopping for her computer until another day. It was almost eight o'clock and she still hadn't had supper. Deciding to go grab a sandwich at some drive through, Cassidy got her purse and keys. After a satisfied look around her new home, Cassidy headed for the door.




Fullness Of Life Ch. 03



When Cassidy pulled her door open to exit her apartment, she found Robin standing on the landing outside, with her hand poised in the air as if to knock. Robin laughed and said, "Now, talk about timing! We were just coming to see if you would go out to supper with us."

Cassidy looked past Robin and saw Van standing on the steps behind her. At the bottom of the steps, near Robin's SUV, stood Jesse, looking nonchalantly down the street. Frowning, Cassidy said, "All of you?"

Robin and Van exchanged a look that Cassidy recognized as one of concern. Mentally kicking herself for appearing rude, she said, "Of course I would love to go with you all. I just hadn't planned on it and you took me by surprise."

Before Cassidy had a chance to step out of her door, though, Robin took her by the arm and pushed her back into her apartment. Turning toward Van, Robin said, "Sweetheart, I need to use Cassidy's bathroom. We won't be a minute. We'll meet you at the car."

Robin pushed in behind Cassidy and closed the door of Van's childhood home in his surprised face. Stunned, Cassidy faced Robin. "What are you doing?" Cassidy asked.

Rolling her eyes, Robin said, "Cassidy, you have got to help me. Van is used to Jesse being around all the time, but I'm not! He is driving me crazy. He isn't intrusive or anything, but he's always around. I'm going nuts! Please go out to dinner with us and keep Jesse busy. He never talks or laughs and I want to pay attention to Van - not worry about some Neanderthal caveman without social skills!"

Cassidy couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing! "Oh, Robin! You are too much. You don't have to beg. I'll be glad to go. In fact, I would love to - I was just going to eat supper by myself."

With a hesitant grimace, Robin said, "Cassidy, I don't just mean tonight. Can you spend some time with us over the next few weeks? I'm afraid I'll never get to know Van if I don't have some way to keep Jesse occupied. I know it is a lot to ask. You don't even know the man, and I realize he isn't a dream come true for communication skills. But I don't know what else to do."

Patting Robin's arm, Cassidy said, "Robin, Jesse and I know each other fairly well. Someday, when we have time, I'll tell you all about the day the security company showed up. But for now, it's enough to know that I don't mind spending some time with Jesse. If he doesn't mind having me around, I don't mind hanging out with ya'll." Cassidy almost laughed out loud at the irony of that sentence. Truth was, Jesse Turner consumed almost all of her waking thoughts. The thought of having to spend lots of time with him was very appealing!

Dinner that night was meant to be a rather quiet, romantic affair. Van and Jesse took Robin and Cassidy to one of the most expensive restaurants in town. The atmosphere was elegant and refined. Rather than seating them in the main dining room, though, the maitre d' showed them to a special table that was well removed from the crowd. In fact, it was down right secluded. The man explained that he placed them there for Van's sake, so they could enjoy their meal in private, but Cassidy didn't believe him.

Cassidy had noticed that as soon as their party entered the restaurant, the man had frowned at her. He had given Cassidy's clothes a smirk of distaste. Although Cassidy had managed to ignore his actions while he was seating them, as soon as he exited the room, Cassidy stuck her tongue out at him. Robin had seen the whole exchange and burst into giggles. Then it only got worse. Rather than calming down, anything that either one of them said tended to set off a new round of laughter. It wasn't long before both Van and Jesse gave up and joined in. The ice had been broken. Soon, the four of them were swapping stories and sharing jokes like they had been friends forever.

Far too quickly, the evening came to an end. They reluctantly climbed into Robin's SUV and headed back to Cassidy's apartment. Much to Cassidy's surprise, Robin and Van waited in the car while Jesse walked Cassidy up to her door. He had offered to do so in order to make sure everything was safe, but Cassidy was secretly hoping he was following her up the steps so he could give her a good night kiss.

Cassidy's hopes were dashed when they reached the upstairs landing, though. Rather than kiss her, Jesse assumed a distant air and said, "I know that Robin has asked you to join us for the next few weeks. I'm afraid that my presence can be somewhat intimidating. However, I will not stop doing my job just because I am making her uncomfortable. You are welcome to accompany us on our outings, but, Cassidy, don't attempt to distract me from my job."

Cassidy was stunned. She had thought that during dinner they had actually begun getting to know one another. But the man who was standing beside her outside the door to her apartment wasn't someone she recognized. Taking a deep breath, Cassidy said, "Jesse, I'm going to be around, but it is just for Robin's sake. Don't let it go to your head!"

And with that, Cassidy unlocked her door. After stepping into her apartment, she very firmly closed it behind her, shutting it in Jesse's face. So much for hoping that Jesse would ever return her feelings of attraction. And, damn it all, she had gotten her hopes up again during supper.

Sunday passed by rather quickly for Cassidy. Even though she had promised Robin she would be available for her, she explained that she really needed to buy a computer. Since she was starting work on Monday, Sunday was really her last opportunity. So after going to church with Van, Robin, Eleanor, Horace and Jesse, Cassidy slipped away and went shopping. After she found what she wanted, the rest of her day was spent attaching and setting up her new equipment. Although Jesse was never far from her thoughts, Cassidy forced herself to keep focusing on where she was going and who she was becoming.

On Monday, Cassidy's life fell into what was to become her regular weekday routine. Eleanor had her working the breakfast and lunch shifts at the diner, then working on the books when things slowed down in the afternoon. When she finished up at 4:00, Cassidy had about an hour before Robin swung by and picked her up for their evening dinner outings with Jesse and Van. Cassidy insisted that they have her home by 9:00 each night so she could get up in time to get to work the next morning. Since Van didn't want his mama mad at him for making her newest employee tired, he saw to it that they wrapped up each evening in time for Cassidy's "curfew".

By the end of the first week, Cassidy had a much clearer understanding of just who Jesse Turner was. Not only had she absorbed every word that came from his mouth, after Cassidy had figured out that Eleanor was Van's mother, she had plied the woman shamelessly for any information she might have about Jesse. And Eleanor seemed to have a lot.

Cassidy learned that Jesse had worked for Van for almost six years. The two were fast friends in addition to employer and employee. Jesse had moved to Nashville specifically to work for Van. The two had met years earlier at summer camp. Jesse had been Van's camp counselor for two years when Van was a teenager. When Van realized that he needed some help with his career, he had gone looking for Jesse.

Eleanor explained that when Van finally located him, Jesse wasn't still some young, carefree college kid. He had gone on to earn his PhD in Criminal Justice and was teaching at UNC-A.

But that wasn't all that had changed. Jesse was also in the final stages of a painful divorce. Apparently his chosen wife was highly offended when, after seven years of marriage, Jesse suggested that they start a family. She had informed Jesse that he could adopt some rugrats if he wanted them, but that she wasn't sacrificing her figure for some slobbery, obnoxious kid. Fortunately Jesse seemed to realize that this wasn't the kind of person he wanted to have kids with, adopted or otherwise. He packed his bags and moved out.

That was when Van found him. Wanting to start over somewhere new, Jesse accepted Van's offer of a job. Although it was nothing like teaching, Jesse had become far more than just Van's bodyguard. He was basically Van's right hand. As Van grew more popular, Jesse's duties began including everything from the bodyguard position that he had originally accepted, to booking and keeping track of Van's concerts. Over the years, Jesse had basically become Van's manager. Eleanor and Horace were both very glad that Van had Jesse as a friend as well as an employee.

Cassidy realized that she was way beyond simply curious about Jesse. Although he continued to keep his physical distance from her, with each passing day, Cassidy was more sure that she was falling in love with the man. When he told tales about growing up in the mountains, Cassidy could feel her heart ache, just from wanting to have been there with him. And when he talked about his future and how much he wanted to buy some land and build his dream house, Cassidy thought her heart would burst from the desire to be a part of that future. But from where Cassidy sat, across the table from the man each and every night, she wasn't sure if he even cared that she was alive.

Although the week days became somewhat routine for Cassidy, the week-ends were spent going to exciting and new places with her three companions. Van apparently spent his days in the studio and he loved getting out and seeing people whenever he could. The man was a genuine extrovert who needed to be around others. Fortunately, Robin was equally comfortable with crowds. So the week-ends found the four of them frequenting bars, going to concerts and visiting with the rollers and shakers in Nashville.

In every situation, Jesse introduced Cassidy as his friend, making it obvious that she was with him. But he never touched her. Cassidy, unlike Van and Robin, was an introvert. By the time the week-end was over, the combination of the frustration that built inside of her every time she was with Jesse and the overwhelming pressure of constantly being in crowded situations, caused Cassidy to want to crawl back into her apartment and hide forever.

It was during the third week-end that the four of them spent together, that Cassidy was surprised when Jesse intervened on her behalf. They had just left a party at the governor's mansion and were headed to a country western bar on the other side of town. Van loved to drop into places unexpectedly and perform for the crowds. Cassidy had no doubt that she was about to be in the middle of yet another cheering throng of fans.

When they were almost to the bar, Jesse, who was sitting in the back seat with Cassidy, said, "Van, you and Robin go on in. I've arranged for William to watch out over you tonight. I'm going to take Cassidy home. I think we have just about used up every bit of social energy that she has."

Cassidy's eyes flew to Jesse's face. She was floored that he had picked up on her discomfort. But she was even more impressed that he was going to leave Van alone on a Saturday night. Jesse had been training several people to help him out as Van got more popular and William seemed to be his star pupil. But to leave Van with William was a huge step for someone as dedicated as Jesse.

Van obviously was having similar thoughts because he was turned in the front seat, looking back at Jesse in bewilderment. "You are going to let me go to a bar without you?" Van asked incredulously.

Jesse shook his head and chuckled. "Man, I must really have been overdoing it if you are all this shocked by my decision. I didn't realize I was being so obsessive."

When no one jumped to contradict him, Jesse burst into laughter. Van and Cassidy stared at him momentarily then began laughing as well. Even Robin looked up in the rear view mirror and shook her head in amusement.

It was Van who spoke next saying, "Jesse, maybe you should take a little time off. You know, a couple of days. I'm sure William and the others could cover." Nodding his head toward Cassidy, Van added, "And mama wants Cassidy to take a few days off as well. She says that she's been working too hard."

Fire rushed into Cassidy's cheeks at Van's obvious matchmaking. She quickly spoke up, "Van, watch it. You are treading on dangerous ground here. Jesse's a big boy - he can invite his own companions without your help."

At that very moment, Robin pulled into the valet parking for the bar they were going to. "Look, you guys work that out later. Why don't you take the SUV back to Van's for me, Jesse? We'll catch a cab. That way I don't have to worry about driving so late at night."

Within seconds, Jesse and Cassidy had moved to the front seat of the vehicle and Robin and Van were headed into the loud and crowded bar. With a wave of his hand, Van dismissed Jesse and Cassidy and turned toward his fans.

Jesse pulled out of the parking area and pointed the SUV in the direction of Van's house. Watching him, Cassidy said, "Thank you, Jesse. I hadn't realized that I was so obvious about being tired of the crowds."

Shaking his head, Jesse said, "I'm sure that no one else noticed. But I've made it a point to pay close attention to you over the last few weeks. You haven't had much alone time since Robin and Van got engaged. If I didn't need to back off for any other reason, it would have been enough to back off just so you could get some rest, since Robin won't let me tag along without dragging you out with us."

Laughing, Cassidy said, "Jesse, I'm sure that I don't have to go out with you three all of the time now. But I've not had a chance to meet too many other people - at least not people I wanted to hang out with. I have enjoyed being with you all and I'm glad Robin asked me to be a part of the group."

Cassidy saw Jesse shoot her a look, but in the dark, she couldn't decipher what it meant. Since Jesse didn't say anything, Cassidy continued, "I do get tired though. And I appreciate you making a way for me to get out of going to yet another crowded bar."

Jesse chuckled quietly, then they both fell into a comfortable silence until they reached Van's house. Jesse came around the SUV and opened Cassidy's door. When they had first started going out, Cassidy had opened her own door. It hadn't taken too many angry looks from Jesse until Cassidy realized that he wanted to open her door. Now she made it a point to wait for him to open it for her. It felt good to be catered to, especially by the man she was in love with.

Holding out his hand, Jesse helped Cassidy down from the vehicle. Since she wasn't used Jesse touching her, Cassidy relished the moment. When Jesse didn't let go of her hand after he started walking toward the house, Cassidy was both thrilled and shocked. She raced to keep up with his footsteps, hoping to not accidentally pull her hand from his grip.

At the front door of Van's house, Jesse said, "If you want to wait inside, I'll just grab my stuff and then I'll take you home."

Cassidy frowned at Jesse. "I have my own car here, Jesse. You don't need to take me home."

Jesse smiled down into her face as he unlocked the door and waited for her to step into the house. "I think if we are planning on taking our vacations together, I better get the scoop from Ms. Eleanor about when you are allowed to take your days off." And with that, Jesse turned and walked down the hall.

Cassidy stood in stunned silence. The man was planning on going on a vacation with her? He had taken Van seriously? Didn't she get any say so in the matter? Did she want any say so?!?

When Jesse came back, he was carrying his duffel bag. It was obviously packed as an overnight bag. Still frowning, Cassidy said, "Jesse, am I missing something here?"

Jesse closed the space between them and pulled her into his arms. He said, "I've given you three weeks, Cassidy. I can't wait any longer. If you don't want me to go home with you tonight, you need to spell it out clearly. I want to be with you. Can you find it in your heart to be with me?"

Cassidy couldn't have spoken if her life depended on it. Jesse wanted her? Granted she didn't have a lot of experience where men were concerned, but surely she hadn't missed all of the signs. After a few moments, Cassidy managed to say, "You want to go home with me? Why?"

Jesse's low, deep chuckle reverberated between their bodies. "Oh, Cassidy! I want to go home with you for the same reason I've wanted to spend every night with you since we met. I want to make love to you. I want to kiss you. I want to wake up in your arms."

If Cassidy hadn't been so stupefied, she was fairly certain she would have passed out at that moment. In her wildest dreams, Jesse Turner didn't say beautiful things like that. He just grunted and ugghhed. Yet here he was, saying these things - and saying them to her.

Obviously the look on her face was amusing to Jesse. He smiled at her and said, "Cassidy? Did I read this wrong? Am I completely off base? I was hoping that you would be alright with this."

Finally, reality hit Cassidy. Shaking her head to clear it, she said firmly, "Jesse, there are some things that you need to know up front. I don't sleep around. I've never had sex. Until I ended up in yours, I had never even been in a man's bedroom. I know that you already know that, but I need to say it again. I'm not a woman who can handle being friends after we have sex. I don't want to mess up our friendship. I want you in my life a lot more than I want sex. And I want sex with you really badly!"

Dropping a soft kiss on her lips, Jesse said, "Cassidy, I don't want to have sex with you."

Cassidy's eyes widened in shock. Had she just made a complete fool out of herself?

Jesse continued, "I want to make love to you. All night long. I don't want to mess up our friendship either, but I can't keep this up. I want to be with you more than anything else right now."

After staring intently into Jesse's eyes, Cassidy made her decision. Without another word, Cassidy turned, and taking Jesse's hand, led the way out to her car. Jesse smiled and took the keys she offered him.

Cassidy would never remember the drive to her apartment or walking up the stairs to her door. What Cassidy would always remember was the look in Jesse's eyes as he pulled her into his arms after shutting the door. She would always remember how it felt for his lips to caress hers and to move lovingly down her neck. And she would always remember the reverence he offered her as he removed each piece of her clothing.

When Cassidy was completely naked, she slowly removed all of Jesse's clothes. Cassidy remembered the first night she had seen Jesse across the restaurant. His body had appealed to her then, but now, as it rippled and quivered beneath her fingers, she knew that she would never touch another man willingly. Jesse was the love of her life and knowing that fueled her eagerness to please him.

But Jesse was equally determined to please Cassidy. And he was far more experienced in these matters. With each touch of his hand, Cassidy found it more and more difficult to keep a coherent train of thought. When Jesse laid her down on her bed and crawled over her, she knew she had found where she wanted to spend her life. Jesse's body fit into hers with such ease that she wished she could stay in his arms forever.

As Jesse began maneuvering his body between Cassidy's legs though, another desire began to flood through Cassidy. She had never felt such a strong need - a need to mate with her lover, her beloved, the very breath of her life.

Jesse's fingers explored uncharted territory slowly and smoothly. There was no moment when Cassidy suddenly became aware that Jesse had penetrated her with his gentle fingers. Instead, she gradually noticed that he was stroking her and that each movement of his hand was driving her crazy. Without warning, Cassidy suddenly climaxed as she had never before, milking Jesse's fingers with each contraction.




Fullness Of Life Ch. 03



Stunned, Cassidy looked up at Jesse who was smiling down at her. "What did you do?" Cassidy gasped.

Jesse answered by kissing Cassidy and guiding her hand to his throbbing erection. He moaned into her mouth as she gently squeezed and stroked him. Pulling away slightly, Jesse slipped his hips between Cassidy's legs. With as much restraint as possible, Jesse firmly pushed himself into Cassidy.

The tearing sensation that ripped through Cassidy was almost more than she could take. If Jesse hadn't been such a large man, Cassidy was positive that she would have thrown him across the room. As it was, he paused rigidly over her, waiting for a sign that she was ready to continue.

For several moments, Cassidy was fairly sure that she wasn't interested in continuing. Jesse hurt! But Jesse stroked her face and hair and murmured incoherent, loving things to her, giving her time. As Cassidy bit her lip and struggled to adjust, she was surprised to find that the pain began lessening. In fact, after a few more moments, feeling Jesse inside of her began feeling indescribably right. Although the pain was still evident around the edges of her consciousness, the feeling of fullness and fulfillment began overwhelming everything else.

Within minutes, Cassidy began moving under Jesse. When he tentatively began thrusting, it took Cassidy a few tries to figure out how she was supposed to respond. But once she got the hang of it, she began riding Jesse's thrusts to the fullest. As she watched Jesse's face contort as he experienced each new sensation of their union, Cassidy realized that she had never felt such empowerment. She had the ability to make this man, whom she loved deeply, experience feelings that seemed to come from his very core. When he bared his teeth, groaned out her name, and poured his passion into her body, Cassidy claimed him and held him, knowing that she would never love another.

Jesse collapsed on top of Cassidy in the aftermath of his powerful climax. She held him tightly and spread small kisses along his neck and shoulders. When he was finally able to move, he rolled onto his side, facing her. Without words, he snuggled his face into her neck and, only minutes later, was snoring soundly.

Cassidy wanted to laugh outloud. The most important event of her life and Jesse falls asleep on her! So much for romance after the passion! But as she felt his body, molded around her own, Cassidy knew that there was something more to romance than flowers and candlelight. The way Jesse made her feel was the very thing that romance was all about - Jesse made her feel desirable - Jesse made her feel special. And Cassidy had lived her whole life wanting to be special.

It took awhile, but Cassidy finally fell asleep. She wasn't used to sleeping with another person. And she wasn't used to being awakened the way Jesse chose to wake her up, either. When she realized that the tickling sensation that she felt was Jesse's stubble rubbing on the inside of her thighs, she almost bolted out of bed. Jerking upright to stare down at him, she burst out laughing at the smug grin he gave her.

In a deep, sensual voice, Jesse said, "I just wanted an early morning snack. Lay back and let me show you how I can make you feel."

Trusting Jesse at that point was one of the hardest things Cassidy had ever tried to do. Not only wasn't Cassidy experienced, but she was fairly ticklish as well. The combination of physical sensations threatened to overwhelm her resolve to let Jesse have his way. But when she actually felt his tongue flick out and lick her skin, her resistance melted. It didn't take long for Jesse to successfully bring her to the brink of a powerful orgasm. As she teetered on the edge, she felt Jesse suddenly thrust his fingers into her moist folds. With a loud cry, she climaxed harder than she ever had before.

When Cassidy finally managed to get her eyes open, she again looked down at Jesse. He was still giving her that same playful leer. When he saw that she was calming down, he climbed up her body and moved to enter her.

But Cassidy wanted to try something new. She pushed at Jesse's shoulders until he pulled back. Then she slipped out from under him and rolled him over. With his body spread out on her bed, Cassidy took a leisurely tour over his anatomy with her fingers and tongue. When she finished at his neck, she straddled Jesse and slipped his erection inside of her. Then, with her best seductive voice Cassidy whispered, "Ride 'em, cowboy!"

It didn't take long for Cassidy to pull Jesse to the edge of his own orgasm. He seemed particularly interested in her breasts and apparently liked it when she rubbed her hands over them and moaned out her pleasure. But when she pulled on her nipple and yelled, "Come on baby, let me feel you!" she tripped Jesse's trigger. He held her hips and actually came up off of the bed, burrowing his face into her breasts.

When the tremors stopped, Jesse had pulled them both back down onto the bed and was kissing and licking Cassidy's breasts. Putting her hands on both sides of his face, she pulled him up to look at her. It was the first time she had really looked deeply into his eyes since they had made love last night. And what she saw there shook her to the core.

Cassidy wasn't sure if Jesse's eyes were only reflecting the feelings that she was certain were showing in her own eyes, or if he was feeling the same way. But the love and care that were buried there shocked and surprised her.

Not knowing what to do, Cassidy chose to snuggle her face into Jesse's shoulder. Even though they had just awakened, in minutes she heard Jesse snoring again. Chuckling to herself, she settled in beside him to wait him out.

It didn't take long for Jesse to wake up again. He jumped out of bed and dragged Cassidy to the shower with him. They spent the next half hour washing, rinsing and rubbing each part of one another's body. By the time they finally got out, Cassidy was fairly sure she would never think of taking a shower in the same way again!

Since it was almost lunch time on Sunday, Cassidy and Jesse decided to stop downstairs to grab something out of Eleanor and Horace's kitchen. The diner was closed on Sunday, but Eleanor and Horace often came in after church anyway and did odds and ends. Cassidy had heard the door to the back kitchen open and close while she was getting dressed, so she knew one of them would be downstairs. She knew that whichever one it was, would be happy to know that Jesse was with her!

Grabbing her tennis shoes, Cassidy went out to her sitting room. Jesse was already there, pacing back and forth, having an animated conversation on his cell phone. Cassidy could tell that Jesse was talking to Van, so she didn't want to eavesdrop. Grabbing a notepad, she scribbled a note, telling Jesse that she would go on downstairs and begin putting together some lunch. He could come down when he got finished. Then she blew him a kiss and headed downstairs.

Had Cassidy been paying attention to the world around her, she would have noticed that things weren't right before she entered the diner. But her thoughts were upstairs, focused on the man sitting on her couch. So when she pushed open the front door to the diner, she failed to remember that Horace and Eleanor never unlocked that door on Sunday. As she weaved her way though the tables toward the door to the kitchen, Cassidy had no way of knowing what she was about to confront.



Fullness Of Life Ch. 04



When Cassidy entered the kitchen, the first thing she noticed was the silence of the room. Calling out to Eleanor and Horace, Cassidy was surprised when they didn't answer. She walked through the kitchen and pushed open the side door into the office. She froze in place at the sight that met her eyes. 

Tied to chairs, Eleanor and Horace were both gagged and bound hand and foot. In front of them stood a rather agitated man, carrying a gun and wearing a stocking mask over his face. Pointing the gun at Cassidy, he turned back to Eleanor and Horace and said, "What the hell are you two running here - a three ring circus? I come in to rip the place off and I stumble across the damn clown car! Are there any more of you idiots about to walk in on me? Or is she the last?"

Cassidy thought it was rather strange that he was asking Eleanor and Horace questions since he had them both gagged and they couldn't answer. But since he did have the gun and she was on the receiving end of it, she decided not to push her luck by questioning his sanity. 

Looking back at Cassidy, the man waved the gun at her. "Ok bitch, open the safe and show me the money, or these two get it."

Cassidy was fairly quick at thinking on her feet. She knew that the safe was fairly well hidden and that the chances were good that the man didn't know that there really was a safe. Cassidy also knew that there was precious little in the safe to satisfy the man, even if she did open it. Knowing that he was looking for ready cash, Cassidy decided to lure him out of the office. Hoping to convey an "I don't care" attitude, Cassidy said gruffly, "There is no safe. I am their accountant. I would know if they had a safe. The only money these two old codgers have is out in their cash register."

Pushing her with his other hand, the man forced Cassidy out of the office, back into the restaurant. Cassidy breathed a sigh of relief at having gotten him away from Horace and Eleanor, but she wasn't sure what to do now. How was she supposed to keep him from killing her and then going back to finish them off as well? Cassidy's mind was racing as she crossed the room as slowly as humanly possible when one is being pushed by a gun toting madman. 

When she neared the cash register, Cassidy realized that there was a chance that she could lure the man out of the restaurant with the promise of taking him to a bank machine or some other place to get cash. Still fleshing out the plan in her mind, she worked with painstaking precision opening the cash drawer. 

When the drawer flew open, the man reached around Cassidy and pushed her to the floor. He jerked the bills out of the register and stuffed them into the pockets on his jacket. Cassidy realized that he hadn't come prepared to stash the cash which caused her to worry. Surely a sane person would have come to commit a robbery prepared to put the loot somewhere logical. Cassidy knew that she had to work fast.

"Look," Cassidy said, "I know there's not a lot there. You look like a smart guy, pulling off this kind of robbery in the broad daylight. Let me take you down the street. I can easily add $500 to your take by going to one bank machine. I'll even shield you from the security camera. I know that a smart man like you knows that you can use all the money you can get. And I know you are smart enough to not pass up a chance to add a little extra to your take."

The man seemed to be weighing Cassidy's offer. She held her breath, waiting for his response.

Jesse Turner had finished his phone call with Van as quickly as possible. Van had known for several weeks that Cassidy was special to Jesse. When Jesse had finally broke down and told him how much he liked her, Van had laughed in the big man's face. Van had said, "I never took Jesse Turner to be a coward. If you want her, go get her!"

That had been all it had taken to convince Jesse that he had a chance with Cassidy. He had never met a woman like her before. All full of passion one moment and spitfire integrity the next. She kept him on his toes and made him want more. Each night, he left her at her door, wishing that just once, she would forget what he had said about not trying to distract him. He wanted her to pull him into her apartment and make wild passionate love to him. 

But each night passed, and Cassidy didn't cross the line in the sand that he had drawn. Instead, she was a perfect lady, always shaking his hand and thanking him for an interesting evening. 

Finally, Jesse hadn't been able to take it any more. With a flash of insight, he had realized that Cassidy needed to know that he wanted her. He had learned that she wasn't very experienced where men were concerned and that no man had ever told her that she was special.  Jesse knew Cassidy was special. Now he just needed to tell her.

Flipping his cell phone closed, Jesse resolved to go tell Cassidy immediately how he felt. He didn't care if Eleanor and Horace were there to witness his declaration. Some things were worth the risk. And Cassidy Meadows was one of those things.

Jesse had spent the majority of his adult life honing his instincts to always detect the unusual. When he stepped around the corner of the building and started for the front door of the diner, he felt the hair on his neck stand up. Knowing better than to ignore his body's hunch, he quickly scanned the area around him. 

Glancing into the window of the diner, Jesse saw the reason for his sense of unease. Although the man had his back toward the window, Jesse could tell from the look on Cassidy's face what was happening. Dropping into a crouch, Jesse shuffled to the other side of the plate glass windows that lined the front wall of the diner. 

Squatting beside the building, Jesse reviewed his options. For whatever reason, an unknown man was holding Cassidy in fear. Since he wasn't holding another person to his body, nor was he grasping Cassidy close, the man must have a gun. A knife would have required a different stance. 

Shaking his head to clear it, Jesse flipped open his cell phone and called 911. After identifying himself and explaining the situation and location, he disconnected the call. Peering through the nearby glass, he could see the man now had Cassidy by the arm and was dragging her toward the exit. Another 20 feet and they would be walking out the door of the diner. Jesse had to make a decision fast.

Never before had Jesse been so torn. In all of his life, he had never wanted to protect another human being with the intensity of his desire to protect Cassidy at that moment. He had done enough work in his field to know that such an intimate connection with a hostage would cloud his perception of the situation. But he had no choice. Cassidy was his life now and if this man hurt her, he would never forgive himself.

As the man paused inside the door of the diner, Cassidy noticed that he seemed to be thinking. She realized that he must have figured out that walking out with a stocking mask over his head was a dead give away. Not knowing what to say, Cassidy simply stood quietly beside him as he anxiously shifted from foot to foot. Finally, he ripped the stocking off of his face and pushed her out the door, saying, "Not one word or I'll make you regret it."

Cassidy saw the flash of movement on her right seconds before she felt the impact of the flying tackle. The gunman and Cassidy fell to the concrete. The force had been enough to down them both, causing the gun to go clattering across the sidewalk. Cassidy saw it land at the edge of a newspaper bin. 

With more intuition than vision, Cassidy recognized Jesse as the one who had knocked her and her assailant down. She also realized that Jesse was big enough to keep the man detained while she got the gun. Cassidy scurried across the short distance that separated her from the weapon. Bracing herself, Cassidy grabbed the gun and swung around to face the two men.

Both Jesse and the gunman were looking pretty rough by this point. The combined impact of falling forcefully onto the concrete, and the ensuing blows that the two men were exchanging made them both look rather beat up. Right as Jesse landed a sledgehammer blow to the man's face, Cassidy braced herself against the wall of the diner. 

Bellowing to make herself heard, Cassidy said, "Enough! If you don't want me to blow your head away, back off!!!"

Obviously startled, both men stopped to stare, open mouthed, at Cassidy. Motioning with the gun, Cassidy pointed them toward the wall. 

Cassidy could see the gunman weighing his options as he slowly stood up. Deciding not to wait until he made up his mind to run, Cassidy said, "Go ahead, make my day. I was the state champion for target shooting three years in a row. I haven't had a chance to shoot in a few months, but I wouldn't mind the practice. Make a run for it - I'll use your back as my moving target!"

The men exchanged glances then the gunman moved toward the wall. Tentatively, Jesse stepped toward Cassidy just as the first police car came to a screeching halt in front of the diner. Before the officer even got out of his car, a news crew pulled up to the side. By the time that the officer was handcuffing the gunman, Cassidy and Jesse's picture was being broadcast over the airwaves, being hailed as local heroes.

Eleanor and Horace were both freed from their bonds and checked out by the ambulance crew who declared them to be shaken, but otherwise in good shape. Cassidy noticed that the driver failed to add that Eleanor was also "mad as a wet hen" into her report! 

When the action finally died down, the gunman was taken to jail, the film crew left and Van and Robin came by to take Horace and Eleanor home. After everyone was gone, the reality of what had happened was setting in on Cassidy.  She and Jesse made it to her apartment, but only moments after entering it, Cassidy's legs gave out. If Jesse hadn't been there to catch her, she would have fallen face first onto the floor. 

But Jesse was there. Just as he had been there when the gunman had tried to drag her out of the diner. Just as he had been there the night before to make her feel special and wanted. Just as he had been in her thoughts from the first moment she had laid eyes on him. Yes, Jesse was there. But would he stay there?

Looking up into Jesse's face, Cassidy said, "Jesse? I was so scared!"

Holding her close, Jesse stroked Cassidy's hair. He moved them over to the couch and pulled her onto his lap, laying her head on his shoulder. "Honey, I never have been so scared as when I saw him holding that gun on you! It's ok to have been scared. What matters is what you did and you went way beyond doing the right thing! You scared the shit out of the poor man! State target shooting champion? Where did that come from?"

The laughter bubbled up inside Cassidy, replacing the shock. For several minutes she laughed uncontrollably. "I said the first thing that popped into my head! I have no idea what made me think of that. I've never touched a gun in my life!"

Jesse laughed with her. It didn't take too long until their laughter turned to kisses and their kisses turned to passion. In the face of near death, the two of them came to each other claiming their life - their life together. 

Afterward, they both fell asleep on Cassidy's bed. When they woke up, it was already dark, but they were both hungry. Deciding that they weren't up to cooking, they opted to go out for supper. Since neither of them were up to anything fancy, they dressed in jeans and tee shirts and headed out to find some dinner.

Jesse and Cassidy settled on Fuddrucker's for a burger and shake. After placing their order, they went and sat down. Cassidy noticed that several people were staring at them. Although she was trying to keep up a conversation with Jesse, she kept getting distracted by the whispers directed their way.

"Jesse, am I just paranoid, or is everyone talking about us?" Cassidy whispered.

Glancing around, Jesse frowned. "Normally, I would say that you were making it up, but I think you are right. What's going on?"

Right then, a little girl passed their table with her mother. Looking up at them with her big blue eyes wide, the little girl said, "You are the woman and man who stopped the bad guy, aren't you? You are the girl with the gun?"

Cassidy looked over at Jesse in surprise. "What do you mean? How did she know that?" Cassidy asked, looking up to the child's mother.

The woman practically beamed. "We saw you both on the news tonight. You are local heroes! That man was a menace to society and we are just thankful you two took him down!"

Jesse interrupted her, saying, "A menace to society? Do the police know who he is now?"

Shaking her head, the woman said, "Why don't you know? That was the 'Sunday Thief' you two captured. He's robbed more than a dozen family owned businesses. He's even wanted for assault in North Carolina. It's all over the news. Haven't you two seen it yet?"

Looking at each other in surprise, Cassidy and Jesse burst into laughter. Cassidy was the first to recover, "No. We haven't seen it yet. But thank you for letting us know."

The lady and little girl waved good bye to them both and sauntered off toward their own table. Cassidy leaned across the table, still grinning, "Do you think we could get our supper to go? I'm not sure I can handle being a local celebrity tonight!"

Jesse nodded and stepped to the counter to get their order packaged. Once back in the car, they both burst into laughter again. When they got home, they flipped on the TV and, sure enough, there was the film of their early afternoon escapades. Watching in wonder, they saw themselves in living color as the broadcaster hailed them as the heroes of Nashville. 

After finishing their supper, Jesse and Cassidy decided to call it an early night. Once in bed, thoughts of sleep flew, though. As soon as Jesse touched Cassidy, they both ignited. This time, their union was fast and wild, much like the day they lived through. When it was over, they both fell into a deep sleep.

When the alarm clock went off at 5:30 the next morning, Jesse knocked it off of the dresser before Cassidy had a chance to turn it off. Laughing at his scrunched up face, Cassidy said, "Do I take it that you aren't a morning person? Well, sweetheart, I have to go to work. In all of the commotion yesterday, you forgot to tell Eleanor that I wanted to take a vacation! You just stay in bed as long as you want. Come downstairs when you wake up and I'll get you a coffee."

Jesse's moan of approval made Cassidy laugh even harder, but she was careful to be as quiet as possible as she showered and dressed for work. She didn't want to bother him more than necessary.

When Cassidy walked into the diner, she was stunned. Instead of the usual morning crowd, there were reporters and camera crews everywhere. Frowning as she scanned the room for Eleanor and Horace, Cassidy had a microphones shoved into her face. 

"Ms. Meadows, can you give us a statement about your relationship to Jesse Turner, the man who helped you capture the Sunday Thief?" asked a female reporter.

"What?" Cassidy asked. "What does my relationship to Jesse have to do with anything?"

"Well, Ms. Meadows, rumor has it that you and Mr. Turner are a couple and the viewing audience would like any details that you might care to share."

Cassidy's mind was racing. She didn't dare tell this woman anything about Jesse. But she was a lousy liar. Finally, with a resigned sigh, she turned to face the reporter. "Jesse Turner is very special to me.  I love him. But, please don't lose sight of what really happened here yesterday. A real man threatened real people with a real, deadly gun. He could have ended four lives. The most important thing about yesterday is that everyone walked away unharmed."

The reporter looked momentarily taken aback, then she smiled a brilliantly white smile and said, "Thank you for your time, Ms. Meadows. You are truly a real life hero!"

Before Cassidy could respond, both the reporter and the camera man disappeared. Finally seeing Eleanor and Horace, Cassidy made her way over to them. Eleanor shrugged her shoulders and motioned for Cassidy to step into the back office. 

Shutting the door in the face of the reporters, Eleanor turned to Cassidy and said, "This place is a madhouse! If they find out that you live upstairs, you'll never get any peace. Why don't you take a few days off? Do you have anywhere you could go?"

Cassidy chuckled then said, "I was actually on my way down here to ask if I could take a few days off. Van has given Jesse a few days off and I wanted to be able to go with him, where ever it is that he wants to go."

Eleanor narrowed her eyes. "I wanted to ask you yesterday what was going on. Have the two of you worked things out?"

Cocking her head to one side, Cassidy said, "Worked things out?"

Shaking her head, Eleanor said, "Don't try to play dumb with me, missy! I know you have had the hots for the boy ever since you met him! I just wondered how long it was going to take for the two of you to realize you belonged together!'

A blush stole up Cassidy's cheeks as she smiled. "He's perfect, Eleanor. I'm so glad to be a part of his life. I just don't know where he is planning on taking the relationship, but, right now, I'm willing to go with the flow."

A frown creased Eleanor's brow. "Go on, honey. Take a few days off. Have some fun." After she hugged Cassidy, Eleanor opened the door to the diner and said, over her shoulder, "Use the door through the kitchen. I'll try to keep them away from you!"

Cassidy did manage to sneak out the side door and up the stairs without being noticed. She laughed at the thought of her short, curvy body, clad in classic waitress pink, skipping up the steps, trying to keep from being seen. She was still smiling at the image when she opened the door and stepped into her apartment.

Cassidy was surprised to see Jesse sitting at the table, awake. "I thought you would still be asleep," Cassidy said.

Jesse turned to face her. Cassidy could tell that he was angry. "Couldn't you have waited to tell me how you felt before you broadcast it to the world?"

Frowning, Cassidy said, "What are you talking about?" Then she noticed that the tv was on in the background. 

Pointing over his shoulder with his thumb, Jesse said, "National tv just televised your declaration of love. I really don't think that was fair, Cassidy. I feel like you are pressuring me to tell you that I love you."

Putting her hands on her hips, Cassidy stared at him, with her mouth hanging open. "I cannot believe you! I didn't go downstairs to tell the world how I felt. I went to work. I'm sorry if I was honest with the reporter. It wasn't a backhanded attempt to force you into anything. I just answered the woman's question. And if it bothers you so much, why don't you just leave? I really don't need this kind of friction in my life. I'm sorry that you feel like I would try to manipulate you into something like this. Feel free to show yourself out!" And with that, Cassidy walked into her office and slammed the door shut.

A few minutes later, Cassidy heard the door to her apartment open and close. Cassidy burst into tears and ran into her bedroom. She felt the pain welling up inside of her. She thought she had come so far in her quest to experience 'fullness of life', but at that very moment, she was questioning every action she had taken. Had she done the wrong thing? Was all of her progress built on Jesse Turner? How about Cassidy Meadows?

Knowing that she couldn't stay in her apartment, Cassidy grabbed her jeans and quickly changed clothes. She took her keys and her pocketbook and headed out. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she needed a place to think.

Cassidy drove around the city pondering her options. Thanks to the evening and morning news, she was now a local celebrity, so she couldn't just go anywhere. She needed to go someplace secluded, with little or no people. Just when she thought she would never find such a place, Cassidy spotted a small church, sitting on the corner of two fairly busy streets. For all of the activity around it, the building gave off a sense of peace. It was a feeling Cassidy's soul responded to.




Fullness Of Life Ch. 04



After parking her car in the church lot, Cassidy threw on her hooded jacket, pulled the hood over her head and climbed out of her car. She made her way up to the front door of the church and was surprised that it opened easily. She stepped through the foyer and walked into the sanctuary. Cassidy could feel the peace surrounding her. She sat down on a back pew and bowed her head to pray.

But her normal prayers wouldn't come. Cassidy had been a faithful believer for her whole life. She had never stumbled or stuttered through her prayers. She had always had a close and personal relationship with her God. But at that moment, all of the patterns of her past didn't work. 

As Cassidy sat in confusion, she felt the presence of another person. Looking up, she was surprised to see another woman in the sanctuary. At the same moment, the two women seemed to become aware of one another's presence. Their eyes locked and they both smiled. The other lady had entered from the front and began walking down the aisle toward Cassidy.

"May I help you?" the lady asked when she got to the pew Cassidy was seated upon. Cassidy started to say no thank you, then she caught herself. Looking at the woman closely, Cassidy said, "Are you the minister here?"

Cassidy had never known a female minister, but something about this woman made Cassidy think that she was a minister. When the woman smiled and nodded, Cassidy made up her mind to take the help that the minister was offering.

"Can I talk to you?" Cassidy asked.

The woman said, "Yes, of course. Why don't we talk here? No one is likely to bother us and I think there is something powerful about talking in a sanctuary."

Sitting on the pew in front of Cassidy, the woman, who introduced herself as Linda McPeters, asked Cassidy what she needed to talk about.

For the next 30 minutes, Cassidy poured out her heart. She told Linda about her childhood and growing up so lonely. She told her about dating Brad and still feeling lonely. She told her about leaving Sweetwater and coming to Nashville. 

Then Cassidy stopped. With a look of wonder on her face, she said, "And I'm not lonely anymore. And it isn't all because of Jesse. I'm not lonely here because I like who I am, for the first time. I am finally living my life the way I want to live it. I'm not worried about what others will think of me. You know, I like me. Wow."

Linda looked at Cassidy thoughtfully. She said, "Cassidy, is there anything you have ever wanted to do that you haven't done because you were afraid others wouldn't approve? Sky dive? Learn to ride a motorcycle? Take a cake making class?"

With the quirk of her eyebrow, Cassidy's grin spread across her face, "Oh, yeah!"

Linda waited with an expectant look on her face. When it became evident that Cassidy wasn't going elaborate freely, Linda said, "Would you care to share with the class?"

Cassidy beamed her amusement. "I want a tattoo."

Linda's eyes flew open wide. "A tattoo?" she asked.

Cassidy nodded and added, "I want a tattoo on my arm of an armband. I know exactly what I want it to look like. But I love to wear sleeveless shirts and dresses, and it would be impossible to hide."

"And you want to hide it because . . . . " Linda asked.

With a frown, Cassidy said, "Because people would think . . . oh!"

With a laugh, Linda pulled up the hem of her long skirt. Along her ankle was a delicate and beautiful tattoo of a vine. With a wink, Linda said, "Let's just say that I understand!"

Linda gave Cassidy the address to the tattoo parlor she had used and then asked Cassidy to pray with her. This time, the words came. Genuine words, not meant to hide her soul, but to bare it so that it could come to life - fullness of life.

When Cassidy left the church, she headed straight to the tattoo parlor. For the next two hours, she underwent the process of getting her tattoo. In the end, it was exactly what she wanted. After the artist bandaged her up, she left the parlor feeling like she had made an important claim on her own life. She headed home with a much lighter heart.

Cassidy hoped that Jesse would call or come by that afternoon. But the rest of the day passed and she didn't hear from him. Robin called to check on her that night, but she didn't ask Cassidy to go out and she didn't mention Jesse. Robin did pass on the message that Ray had called to tell her that Cindy Ann had dumped Brad only moments after his proposal of marriage. Now she was planning to wed a politician from Raleigh, instead. Cassidy laughed to herself - apparently some news from Sweetwater WAS worth hearing!

On Tuesday morning, when Cassidy explained to Eleanor that she didn't need time off any more, Eleanor rescinded her offer of a few days vacation and put Cassidy back to work full time. By Thursday, the reporters stopped coming around and life got back to a semblance of normalcy.

Except for the absence of Jesse Turner.

Cassidy actually enjoyed having some time to herself in the evenings. Although she had been on a growth curve in her emotional life, she needed some time to catch up mentally. She used each evening as an opportunity to spend some time reading and writing. Then she would go for a walk and think. 

Cassidy knew that she missed Jesse and that she loved him. But she had some issues of her own that she was working on. Cassidy had discovered that she could stand on her own two feet and that she liked who she was. If Jesse chose to come back to her now, she could offer him the love of a much more self confident woman.

On Friday afternoon, two of the other waitresses asked Cassidy to join them for drinks after work. Cassidy had truly meant to decline, but, at the last moment, she changed her mind. Cassidy had done a little shopping over the week and had picked out a halter top that bared her shoulders. It had a matching mini skirt which showed off her legs. The outfit looked nice enough, but Cassidy knew it also looked sexy and that was how she felt. She might not have any intentions of ever falling in love again, but that didn't mean she didn't want to look good!

The three women met downstairs at the diner. The other two complemented her outfit and Horace even whistled at her. She smiled at him and waved good bye to Eleanor as the three of them headed out. 

First on the list of stops for the three was a bar nearby. After ordering drinks at the bar, the three of them found a table and talked for awhile. It didn't take long for one of the men at the bar to cross the room and ask one of Cassidy's friends to dance.  Only moments later, the other woman got up and went to ask some man she had seen if he would like to dance. 

Cassidy sat alone at the table, feeling rather confused. She hadn't anticipated dancing since she hadn't danced any of the times she had gone out with Van, Robin and Jesse. She wasn't exactly sure what to do. As she was pondering her situation, the waitress passed by her table. Stopping to look Cassidy in the face, she said, "Aren't the woman who took out that robber last weekend?"

Cassidy pasted on a smile and said, "Yes, I am."

The woman wrinkled her brow and said, "Well, why are you sitting back here and your accomplice sitting at the bar? I thought you said that you loved the man? I sure wouldn't let my lover sit up there by himself."

Cassidy looked past the waitress to the bar area. Sure enough, sitting at the far end was Jesse Turner. Looking back at the waitress, Cassidy said, "Oh, we just got our wires crossed up about where to meet. Thank you for pointing him out!" Then she grabbed her drink and started toward him.

It didn't take getting too close to Jesse to realize that he was seriously drunk. He was talking to his drink. Not that he was making any sense - it was all incoherent ramblings. But he hadn't seemed to notice that the drink wasn't talking back. Cassidy laughed to herself - maybe he was drunk enough to think the drink WAS talking back!

Cassidy noticed that all of the other patrons were avoiding sitting too close to the obviously unstable man. Taking advantage of that, Cassidy slipped onto the bar stool next to him. Turning to face her, Jesse cocked his head to one side slowly. Cassidy thought that his head might just keep going, but Jesse managed to stop it before he fell over. He stared at her intently for a moment before turning back to his drink. Cassidy heard him tell the drink, "Damn it all - now I'm hallucinating'. I would swear that woman beside me looked jus' like her . . .  But she's got a tattoo . . . my Cassie didn' have a tattoo. Maybe I should get one for her . . .  It's very sessy . . . " His slurred voice tapered off into nothingness.

Cassidy was relieved to know that Jesse was pitching this drunk on her behalf, but she needed to get him out of there. Whispering in his ear, Cassidy said, "Jesse Turner, this is your conscience. The woman beside you wants to take you home. If you let her, she will help you find Cassidy."

Again Jesse turned to look at Cassidy. She smiled at him, then offered him her hand. Sighing deeply, Jesse took her hand. Cassidy slipped a few bills on the bar and headed outside with the love of her life - the very drunk love of her life.

It ended up that Cassidy had to bribe the cab driver to help her get Jesse up her steps. She gave the man a huge tip, then pulled Jesse into her apartment. Not bothering with the couch, Cassidy headed straight to her bed. Sitting him down on the edge, she slipped off his shoes, took off his shirt and unbuckled his pants. 

As she was working on the zipper of his pants, Jesse put his hand over Cassidy's to stop her. "I don't mean to be forward, miss, but are you planning on having sex with me? 'Cause if you are . . . you should know that I ain't goin' do it. You're beautiful . . . just like my Cassie, I'm only good for one woman and I done left her. This ain't goin' work . . . " And with that, Jesse passed out on Cassidy's bed.

Cassidy laughed at him and finished getting his pants off. Leaving him in his briefs, she put him under the covers and sat a trashcan near the bed. Although she had never been drunk in her life, she had heard that a hangover often resulted in needing to throw up. And she didn't want to ruin her carpet!

Making her own way to the guest bedroom, Cassidy decided to not worry about what tomorrow would hold. Right now, it was enough that Jesse was in her house. It didn't hurt that he genuinely seemed to be missing her as well!

Cassidy awoke to the sound of constant hammering. She blinked her eyes and tried to focus her mind. Where was she? Oh, yeah, she was in the guest bedroom because Jesse was in her bed. So who was pounding?

Finally, Cassidy realized that someone was knocking on her door. Grabbing her robe, she slipped it over her silky night shirt (yet another of her new purchases!). Making her way into the sitting room, she called out, "Give me a minute!"

Cassidy hadn't completely forgotten her experience the week-end before and she was leery of opening the door without knowing who was on the other side. She slipped into the kitchen where she had a window through which she could see out onto the landing in front of her door. What she saw caused her jaw to hit the proverbial floor.

Standing at her door was none other than Aunt Margie and Brad Frazier! Cassidy couldn't believe her eyes, let alone decide what to do. She realized that she had to open the door, since they knew she was home, but what then?

With a sigh of determination, Cassidy walked to her door. It felt somewhat like walking to the gas chamber, but Cassidy knew she could handle this. She just had to hold onto who she knew herself to be now.

Opening the door, Cassidy smiled widely at the pair standing outside. "Can I help you?" Cassidy asked sweetly.

Brad shot her a look of disdain and rolled his eyes. Aunt Margie simply sniffed and dabbed at her eyes with a Kleenex. Cassidy wanted to slam the door shut in their faces, but she also wanted to see this confrontation through. 

Since no one had answered her question, Cassidy continued to stand in her doorway and look expectantly at the two visitors. Finally, Aunt Margie said, "Have you no manners, girl? Invite us in, for heaven's sake!"

Cassidy frowned and answered, saying, "I'll allow you to come into my home, but please note that I am not inviting you in. That implies that I want you here, and I think I have made myself fairly clear about how close I want to be to either one of you." Standing aside, she swept her hand open to allow them to enter.

Brad made a bee-line for the couch, while Aunt Margie looked the place over. Brad said, "Babe, you got any beer?"

Cassidy felt the growl rising up in her throat. "Bradley, I'm not your babe and you won't be staying long enough for refreshments. Say what you meant to say and get out."

Aunt Margie gasped in dismay. "What has come over you, child? I have never!"

With her hands on her hips, Cassidy turned to fully face her aunt. She looked at the older woman. For years, Aunt Margie had intimidated and controlled Cassidy with her manipulative actions and whining. But no more. "Well, it's about time you started then, Aunt Margie."

Brad cleared his throat and said, "I'm really thirsty. Don't you have anything to drink, Dee?"

Turning on the man she had once considered marrying, Cassidy said, in a loud voice, "My name is not Dee, you asshole! It is Cassidy! And you can damn well sit there and die of thirst before I'll wait on you ever again. How dare you come into my home and act like you are still a part of my life. You have done nothing but humiliate and use me for the last five years. I will not tolerate it anymore!"

Brad and Aunt Margie both stared at Cassidy as though she had lost her mental faculties. Aunt Margie opened her mouth to speak at exactly the same moment that Jesse's booming voice came from the back of the room.

Cassidy turned around to see Jesse standing in the door of her bedroom, still in just his briefs. He had one arm raised up on the doorframe and the other on his muscular hip. "I damn well don't know what you people are all shouting about, but if Cassidy has to tell you one more time to get out of her house, I'll throw both of you out the window." 

Cassidy knew that Jesse's head had to be pounding, but he was putting up the best front she had ever seen. Aunt Margie's eyes were popping out of her head at the sight of Jesse's big body clad only in his underwear and Brad was looking a bit nervous himself. Cassidy took the opportunity to press their immanent departure.

"As you can see," Cassidy said, "I have company and you aren't wanted here."

Aunt Margie turned her blazing eyes back toward Cassidy. "I knew it! I just knew you were shacking up with that man when we saw you in the papers! This is just and fit punishment for you! You left this poor boy in Sweetwater, embarrassed him in front of the whole town and this is what you reap, you . . . you . . . Nashville hussy!"

It took all of Cassidy's best effort to keep from laughing in her Aunt's face. Instead, she just opened the door and looked pointedly at both Brad and Aunt Margie. "It's time for you to say good bye now," Cassidy said sarcastically.

Glaring at her, Aunt Margie marched past her, carefully avoiding even brushing against her. Brad walked a little slower and seemed to be wanting to linger. Looking at him expectantly, Cassidy said, "Yes, Brad?"

Brad wrinkled his brow and whined, "Dee, things ain't the same without you. . . "

Hearing Brad use his pet name for her yet again was the straw that broke Cassidy's camel's back. "Get out of my house, you jackass! I pray to God that things are never the same for you again! Get out!" And with that, Cassidy pushed him out of her door and slammed it in his face.

The silence in the room was deafening for several moments, then Cassidy met Jesse's eyes across the room. In less than a second, the man went from the best looking thing she had ever seen to the greenest looking thing she had ever seen. With a muffled groan, Jesse turned and ran for Cassidy's bathroom. She could hear him paying tribute to the porcelain receptacle. 

Laughing to herself, she went to the kitchen and poured him a glass of tomato juice. She had always heard about some "hair of the dog" concoction that was supposed to help with a hang over. Setting the juice on the counter, she figured that Jesse could put it together if he needed it.

Cassidy walked over to her sitting room window and stared down at the street below. She could just see the taillights of Brad's truck as it turned left at the light at the end of the block. Cassidy wasn't sure what they had hoped to accomplish by visiting her, but she was fairly certain that they had wanted her to come back to Sweetwater and take care of them and their needs. But Cassidy hadn't given in. Even when Jesse had given them "proof" that she was a fallen woman.

Cassidy thought about who she had been in Sweetwater. The girl she had been there would never have slept with a man without the bonds of at least an engagement ring. But the woman that she was now had chosen to make love to a man with the only bond being that of her love for him. Somehow, that seemed like a much better choice to Cassidy. 

When Jesse came out of the bedroom this time, he had showered. His dark hair was damp and had a few curls lurking around the edges. He had on his jeans, but the button was undone. Otherwise, he was all exposed flesh. Cassidy feasted her eyes on him. He was more than she had ever imagined she would have in her life.

"So, I guess you brought me home last night? And that was your ex from Sweetwater?" Jesse said, somewhat hesitantly.

Cassidy nodded her head before turning back to look out the window. "I found you drunk at the bar and talking to your drink. I thought I would bring you home before someone else took advantage of you."

Jesse walked up behind Cassidy and put his hands on her shoulders, drawing her body backwards into his. Bending to nuzzle his face in her hair, Jesse said, "I couldn't have been with anyone else. I've missed you."

Smiling to herself, Cassidy closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of Jesse holding her. The heat of his flesh penetrated the silk of her robe and made her skin tingle. Cassidy knew they needed to talk, but, for just a little while, she wanted to soak up the feelings coursing through her body. 

After a few moments, Jesse turned her around to face him. Tilting her face up to look at him, he said, "I was a fool, Cassidy. I know you have no way of knowing this, but the biggest problem I had with my ex-wife was that she tried to manipulate me into everything that she wanted. You didn't do anything wrong. But when I saw you on national tv, telling the world that you loved me . . . well, I felt like a fool. I wanted to be the one that told you first. I wanted to be the one that made you feel special by telling the world how much I loved you. And instead, you did it. But, instead of feeling special, like I should have, I felt manipulated. I took out my anger on you and you didn't deserve it. Tell me you'll give me a second chance."

Cassidy bit her lower lip. Jesse had just told her that he loved her and wanted to be a part of her life. He hadn't offered to marry her, but he wanted her. Deciding that she could live with that, Cassidy nodded her head. She said, "I'm yours for as long as you want me, Jesse."

Jesse's face contorted into a scowl. "For as long as I want you? Aren't you paying attention here? I don't want to ever be without you again. I want to marry you. Are you just playing dense?"

Cassidy's eyes flew open. "You want to marry me? But you never said . . . "

Shaking his head, Jesse gave an exasperated growl and said, "Woman, I can't seem to do any of this right! I hope you haven't always dreamed of this moment and I just blew it. Wait right here. No, wait. Sit on the couch and don't move."




Fullness Of Life Ch. 04



Watching Jesse go back toward her bedroom, Cassidy wondered what Jesse was doing. When he came back, he walked in front of her and went down on one knee. Cassidy cocked her head to one side and said, "Are you alright? Is something wrong with your leg?"


Rolling his eyes, Jesse chuckled and said, "Be quiet. This is hard enough without you trying to help me! Look, I've been practicing this all week. Now listen. Cassidy Meadows, you are the breath that I breathe. You are the light that helps me see reality. You are the one who makes me want to keep living. Will you marry me?"

Although at some point in Jesse's proposal it had occurred to Cassidy that he was about to ask her to marry him, the thought hadn't really registered in her brain. When he said the words, the impact hit Cassidy full force. Without warning, she burst into tears. Jesse looked as shocked as she felt. He moved up to sit with her on the couch and pulled her into his arms. "Baby, it's all right. I'm sorry. What did I do wrong? Don't you want to marry me?"

Cassidy laughed through her tears. "Oh, Jesse, you nut! Of course I want to marry you. It's just that I never thought you would want me . . . "

Jesse lifted Cassidy's face from his chest and looked deeply into her eyes. "In all of our years to come, in all of the stupid things that I will do, in all of the times that you think I am hopeless, don't ever doubt that I want you Cassidy."

And with that, Jesse lifted Cassidy from the couch and carried her to her bedroom to show her just how much he wanted her - now and forever.

Epilogue

As soon as they heard the news, Robin and Van had asked Jesse and Cassidy to join them in a double wedding. It meant waiting a little longer, but Jesse and Cassidy decided it would be worth it to share such an important event with their best friends. And the ceremony was beautiful!

Ray had come into town to walk down the aisle between Cassidy and Robin. Horace had acted as best man for both Van and Jesse. And the minister, Linda McPeters, had conducted the ceremony.  

Although Van's popularity had grown tremendously, they had decided to not invite anyone outside of their families.  Wilma Turner had driven over from Asheville and had brought Aunt Mimi with her. Eleanor sat on the front pew with her three other sons and their families. Even a very subdued and respectful Aunt Margie showed up to wish the couples well. 

Finding themselves sitting together at a table during their small reception, the couples began talking about the future. Van said, "Jesse, I'm going to miss you. Can't I convince you to stay?"

Jesse smiled broadly at his friend and former employer. "Nope. I'm on my way out of town and you know it. Anyway, you won't be around enough to miss me. That tour you just signed will keep you running from city to city for the next year. You just better be glad that Robin was willing to pack up and go with you."

There had never been any question that Robin would go with Van when the time came. It had taken six months to smooth out all the details, but the time was at hand for Van to launch his career nationwide. And Robin would be by his side.

Cassidy beamed at her friends. They were closer to her than any family she had ever had. And now they were a part of her growing family. Jesse reached out and laid his hand possessively over Cassidy's enlarged belly. "Only four more months and I get to hold her!" Jesse whispered into Cassidy's ear.

"Hey, you two!" Robin said, "No whispering secrets. We want to hear about the baby, too!"

Cassidy just laughed. It felt good to be surrounded by people who loved her and wanted her to be happy. And she was happy. She and Jesse had bought a piece of land closer to his family in North Carolina and they were headed there to build their dream home - the one Jesse had been planning for years. The only changes they had made were a few additional bedrooms when they realized that their family was going to be starting sooner than later! 

Cassidy smiled as she thought about how her life had come full circle. Catching herself, Cassidy realized the error of that thought and corrected it. Her life hadn't come full circle - her life was merely growing in its fullness!