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Deployment

By: navydendoc



"Congratulations, and welcome to the rank of HM1. I know you will tackle these duties with ease and I pray that other junior and senior ranks can be as hard of workers as you are." With that, Chief Master Sergeant Hamlin pinned on the newfound rank, shook hands, and sent him on his way. Deone had done it at last, he had made HM1. So now, HM1(FMF/SW) Soma who had achieved it in only 10 years, stared at the door of his hotel room. The ceremony was still going on, but he was ready for peace and quiet. 

Deone, who was deployed to Quatar and staying in a hotel solely because he was deployed with eleven airforce officers as their only 'Doc', sighed a happy and yet painful sigh. He missed his family, his friends, and mostly his wife. Michelle was supposed to be the one pinning him, just as he pinned on her LCDR rank only four months prior. The first three months of his eight month tour had gone fast, he had worked excruciating hours to ensure his officers had all their medical needs taken care of. Now that they were, and with officers being 'too proud' for sick call, Soma was waiting for something to happen. Anything at all to happen. He had five more months to still do stuff. Removing the card key from his left blouse pocket, he opened the door and stepped in. 

Reaching over, he switched on the light and headed for the refrigerator. The hotel wasn't five star quality by any means, but it was still nice. Queen size bed, stove and a microwave, refrigerator, warm shower and nice tv with decent channels. The hotel was only a mere five minute walk from the base, and this hotel was the most secure for miles around. After all, this is where the military seniors, E5 and above, were staying. Shots could be faintly heard in the distance during the night and throughout the day, but those were from the men and women doing their training missions. With his back to the bed, his unlaced and removed his boots and began to unbutton his blouse when he heard someone clear their throat. Turning around, Deone's shocked expression turned into a wide grin; Michelle was sitting on the bed.

Deone could barely speak as he stared at his wife. She was in nothing but stilettos, red panties with a black lace trim, and a purple silk blouse with only one button buttoned. Crawling to the edge of the bed, she grabbed onto his blouse and kissed him hungrily all over his face and neck. Unwilling to move, Deone could only moan and sigh with pleasure as his wife continued to kiss him. Coming to his senses, he softly pushed her back onto the bed before climbing on top of her. Nose to nose, he breathed in her vanilla scented perfume and kissed her lightly on the lips as she ran her fingers through his hair. Nuzzling her neck, she continued to softly run her fingers through his hair and massage the back of his neck. "I've missed you so much, babe. I just couldn't wait five more months without your touch. Your buddy, Hamlin, helped me with the details and surprising you. I'm just sor-" His lips pressed hard against hers and their tongues danced once their lips parted. After a moment, he went into a kneeling position and began to unbutton his blouse. As he struggled to get rid of his blouse, Michelle was busy undoing his belt and zipper. His concentration now gone, he watched as his wife reached into his unzipped pants and pulled out his hardened member. Glancing up at him, she smiled a sly grin as she licked from shaft to tip. Once thoroughly wet, Michelle now pushed Deone back into a laying position and took him all in her mouth. 

With his head barely off the edge of the bed, he closed his eyes and softly moaned as his wife's head bobbed up and down as she continued licking and sucking on his dick. His breath quickened as she continued her assault by only flicking her tongue and stroking only the tip of his penis. Just when he thought he was going to have to stop her, she once again took him all in her warm and wet mouth. Softly, he gathered her long hair into his hand and began "helping" her as she happily continued to deep throat him. Firmly but gently, he eased his dick further into her mouth and quickened the pace. He could hear his wife begin to moan as he used his other hand to play with her breasts. Struggling to sit up, he released his hold on her hair and focused on her breasts and ass while she played with his dick. After a moment, she took him out of her mouth and began jerking him off with her hand. Michelle started stroking faster, but Deone stopped her and laid her back down. Swollen and ready to bust, he snatched off his wife's panties and with one quick thrust eased himself all the way into her cunt. She let out a quick breath, and then moaned loudly as he went faster in his movements. Grabbing one of her legs, he raised it over his shoulder and thrust deeper inside his love. 

"Oh Deone!" she wailed "please, please faster!" With sweat running down his face and his shirt getting soaked, he adhered to his wife's command and went faster. In seconds, his breath quickened and he buried his face in her breasts as he let out a yell and flooded her body with his own release. Sighing, he weakly unbuttoned his wife's only button, to find she wasn't wearing a bra. Gingerly, he kissed and licked one breast while his hand played with her other breast. "Mmmmmm... oh yeah..." was all he could hear his wife say as he continued to pleasure her body. After licking the sweat off her chest and abs, he laid his body beside her. Smiling her beautiful smile, Michelle snuggled close to her husband; and fell asleep in his arms.

Deployment Pt. 03



I apologize for taking so long to submit this part. I had a special project to do at work that had me working close to 80 hours a week and took me away from home (I wonder there is a cheating wife story in there somewhere). Anyway, I have had a chance to read the comments but I can surmise by the score that it wasn't as well received as I would have liked. If I come up with another story, I will try to do better. Thanks for reading.

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"Don't worry ET2 Morrison. This divorce will be easy. You don't have any assets to fight over. Being that you are in the Navy and don't have anyone in San Diego to care for your daughter when you leave with ships movement, you will more than likely relinquish custody to your wife. The standard amount will be apart from your paycheck and given to her for spousal compensation. Other than that, there is really nothing to battle over. Do you have any questions?"

Fuck yeah I have questions. Why am I paying the lying cunt who cheated on me? Why does she automatically get custody? What the fuck did I do to deserve the shitstorm that my life has become? And how the fuck can you call this an easy divorce?

I asked none of these questions of course. They were futile, rhetorical questions that were only a means of venting. I already knew the answer to these questions. The military deals with divorce so much that is has become standard policy. Nothing more than the planned maintenance that I do on my equipment. 

The JAG officer that had prepared the paperwork sat there behind her desk, impatiently looking me over. She seemed disturbingly detached from the emotional weight that was contained in these documents. My life was being ripped away from me bit by bit. So what? For her, it was Tuesday. Wiping tears from my eyes, I signed the paper and left abruptly.

Now here I sit at my ship with the signed documents in my hand. Now you know how I got to be here. If you recall, this is where I began this story. In my hands I have tangible proof that I am a statistic of the Navy. One of the 50% who end up a divorced, woman hating whoremonger. 

I'm sure that Alicia was looking at the same proof, elated that she can move forward with her wonderful life. She and "Mr. Mike" can try to replace me. Fuck them both.

Things moved relatively quickly in my life after that. My contract with the Navy was almost up and I had to make a decision to re-enlist or not. Last year that would have been a difficult decision. I love the Navy, I love serving my country, but it takes me away from my family. This year, however, the decision was almost immediate. There was no way I could re-enlist. I was just getting to know my daughter and I don't think we would survive another year with me at sea. Hell, look what happened last time I went away. Besides that, I had to show her that I was going to be here. She needed some stability.

So I prepared to get out of the Navy with an Honorable Discharge. I did my medical, eye, and dental screening. I went through all of the classes on transitioning into a civilian. I learned about a resume and job interviews (seems silly, but I'd never done either of these things. I joined at 19). I learned about college applications. I did the preparation to access the college money that was promised to me when I joined the navy. I was actually excited about becoming a civilian.

After my Honorable Discharge, I went to school for Computer Engineering. I was now a full time student. Because of the rigorous Navy schooling that I went through, college was surprisingly easy. Also, I got to skip a lot of classes because my training satisfied those courses. A four year Bachelor's Degree was finished in a little under 3. 

While in school, I was able to get an Entry level job at a Security Company. It didn't pay much right off of the bat, but the position that I got was a stepping stone. A navy head hunter put me in touch with another ex-Navy guy. My new boss was an old Salty Sailor back in the Desert Storm days, and he took an immediate liking to me. Because of my experience and professionalism, Bernie scooped me up after the first interview. The fact that I didn't have a degree yet didn't phase him one bit. 

Meeting him was like Kismet. I can say that he was just what I needed at that time in my life. I figured that the universe was trying to compensate for the laughing stock that my life had become.

Between work and school, I had precious little free time. What I could squeeze out, I spent with the kid. We were past the part in our relationship where I had to entertain her whenever we were together. She was happy just sitting in my apartment and watching cartoons. 

I couldn't afford an apartment by myself (Child support, Alimony), so I had a roommate. Not the best situation, because my roommate was a bit of a slob. He rarely cleaned his dishes, and he almost never cleaned the shower. Still, he was quiet, didn't party, and worked long hours. So while the situation wasn't paradise, I could've been worse. Besides that, it was a temporary fix. Once done with college, Bernie promised a promotion with a much higher payday. With that living on my own and paying Alicia would be easy. Silver lining.

Though my life was moving along quite nicely, my heart wasn't. I still felt the heart ache whenever I saw someone that looked like her. If I heard a song on the radio that I knew she liked, my eyes would burn. I couldn't even watch television. Commercials that we laughed at, shows that we watched, movies that we enjoyed, all of those things became taboo.

I had the first awkward encounter with "Mr. Mike" one day. I had to pick Savannah up so that she could stay the night with me. I laid eyes upon him for the first time and had to mentally stop myself from lacing my fingers around his throat. 

Alicia let me into the apartment and I was greeted to the sight of this Asshat sitting in my used-to-be-favorite chair sipping a cold one and watching the game. Does anything prepare your heart for that? He looked absolutely at home, like he did this every day. Alicia was fluttering around the kitchen like the good little housewife. They looked so fucking cozy that I wanted to set fire to the whole place and lock them inside.

If I caught them with his dick in her throat, it wouldn't have hurt as bad as seeing them looking like an everyday family. If I were a stranger, I would have assumed that these two shared a last name. There was no trace of me in this picture. 

I held it together though. I bit my tongue and didn't lash out. Even when the asshole tried to shake my hand, I didn't lose it. Yeah, you heard me right. HE ACTUALLY TRIED TO SHAKE MY HAND! Like we were casually meeting through a mutual friend. "Hey man. Nice to finally meet you. Heard so much about you. Your wife is a real alley cat in bed! Am I right?" 

Of course the asshole didn't say that, but he might as well have. Though I was being calm, I was not going to shake this asshole's hand. I stood there and looked him in the eye with a blank expression that let him know that I would rather fuck myself with a spiked dildo than grab that hand. A few very awkward seconds passed as he stood there with his hand outstretched. Finally he cleared his throat, slinked away, and re-planted himself in my used-to-be favorite chair like a good little boy. Only then did I realize that my fist were clinched in tight balls.

Yeah, fun times. 

Fast forward 3+ years, I graduated with a 3.6. Bernie was there sitting next to his wife and my now 12 year old daughter, who looked completely bored. She perked up when my name was called, and screamed the loudest when I walked across stage. I looked at her smiling face and waved. This was my new family. 

Around this time, the hole in my heart had scabbed over some. I wasn't exactly friendly toward Alicia and her beau, but I didn't have a homicidal urge anymore every time I saw them together. 

Plus, I had a little vindication in the form of Savannah. By now she was blaming Mr. Wonderful Dad Mike for breaking up her family. I didn't poison her mind, I swear to God. She was just acting out towards him and Alicia. They had one incident in which she screamed at him, "You are not my DAD!"

I'm not gonna lie. That may have been the happiest moment in all of this nonsense. I know, I know. I'm supposed to be the adult and tell my daughter that it isn't right to talk to another adult that way. Yeah yeah yeah. Fuck them.

I wish that I could tell you guys that I had a harem of beautiful supermodels at my sexual disposal that sang my praises about the endless pleasure that I gave them as I tried each position of the Kama Sutra. Sadly enough, my love life was flatlined. 

It wasn't that I was ugly or out of shape. On the contrary, I worked out 4 times a week and considered myself good looking. I wasn't shy or awkward. I knew how to talk to a woman. Sadly enough, I just wasn't interested. Say what you will, but when the only woman you love rejects you, you tend to not think of yourself as relationship material. I did have a couple of short flings that ended in up in bed. But to be honest, the player lifestyle isn't for me. I wasn't planning on giving my heart to anyone, and sex with no connection isn't worth it to me. Besides that, I didn't want to parade a slew of girls in front of my daughter. She was suffering enough and didn't need to see that. 

So I have to admit, embarrassingly enough, that my only sexual companion was my computer and a tube of Vaseline. Hey, I'm just being honest. 

So here we are at the 5th year of my divorce. It is also close to Savannah's 14th birthday. Alicia had planned a party with all of Savannah's friends. She wanted to rent out the skating rink and have the party there.

"Jason, I really need your help. I want this party to be special but I can't do it alone."

"Why don't you ask "Mr. Mike for help?" 

Okay, I know it was a low blow, especially after all of this time. I didn't hate her anymore, but I still had a little bit of ire there. What she said next blew me away.

"Mike is no longer in the picture." She said it so casually that I almost missed it. But when I looked into her eyes I saw them welling up.

"Oh"

What else is there to say? I'm sorry? Because I wasn't. Time heals all wounds? Yeah, a long time. The sun will shine tomorrow? Only after a life altering hurricane of shit.

"Okay Alicia. I'll help you"

What can I say? I felt bad for her. I'm not a complete monster. She was still the mother of my kid.

So we sat together for the first time in 5 years and made preparations for this party. It was surprisingly easy and familiar, even after all this time. Was it like old times? A little. Was I harboring illicit thoughts of sweaty, screaming sex? Not on your life. But for the first time, I found that I could talk to her without taking cheap shots at her. I believe that was the first moment that I forgave her.

I had a slight curiosity as to the reason for the break-up of the happy couple. I didn't ask her though. For one, it seemed like bad taste. I didn't want to appear to be gloating. On the other hand, I thought that asking would put us in a friendlier category. I wasn't ready to be anything to her but co-parents to our daughter. If she needed a friend, I wasn't going to volunteer. I had to find my way back from the abyss alone. She can do the same.

Finally, we had Savannah's party planned to a T. I had my marching orders and she had hers. I was on my way out.

"Thanks Jason. We still make a good team."

"When it comes to Savannah, yeah we do." I don't know why I felt the need to throw that in. I guess I just wanted to make sure that my line in the sand hadn't been crossed.

I saw a flash of regret cross her face, but she recovered quickly. "Call me when you finish your list."

"Absolutely. You can count on me." I said before realizing it. I mentally kicked myself for opening that door up. She walked right through.

"I always could." With that she closed the door, leaving me on the front stoop with a look of confusion. 

Get it together Jason. What the fuck was that?

Savannah's party went off without a hitch. She and her friends had a blast. They skated, they fell, they giggled, they got back up and did it all over again. There was cake, there were presents, there were games. The smile on her face was worth it.

Alicia and I sat back and watched the chaos. I was alternating between enjoying the smile on Savannah's face and silently stalking the boy who kept finding ways to be close to her. He obviously had her enamored. They talked in quiet corners whenever they had the chance and even held hands out on the rink. Alicia had to physically grab my arm a couple of times to stop me from running over there and implementing a "two feet" rule. 

"Did you ever think we would be here watching our daughter together?" She asked wistfully. Knowing where this conversation was likely headed, I pretended like I didn't hear her. Memory road was paved with just as many landmines as good memories, and I did not have a desire to encounter either.

She didn't repeat her question. She just looked over at Savannah with a distant smile on her face. I knew that her mind was not in this rink, but I didn't bring her back here. 

After the party was over, the kids made their way off toward their rides home. In the corner, I saw that snaky little asshole sneak a kiss from my daughter when they thought that the coast was clear. It was quick though. It was over in a few seconds, and I didn't see any jaw movement that indicated any tongue action. She would be definitely hearing about this later, but for now no harm was done. 

As the last of the kids was carted off, I kissed my daughter goodnight and gave her the present that I set aside for her. I told her to open it when she got home. Alicia waved to me as I pulled off in my car.

Later on that night, I got a call from my daughter. "Daddy, I love it! Thank you!" She screamed in my ear. She was talking about the gold locket that I bought her. It was in the shape of a heart. On the inside was a picture of her and i. It was taken at an amusement park that we went to. On the back was the small inscription that said, "The one who holds my heart".

"You're welcome Banana."

I was relieved that she liked it. I thought it was a bit cheesy and cliché, but I wanted something special for her from me. I needed her to always have a reminder that I would always be here for her. Always.

Later on that night, or early the next morning rather, I got another call. This time it was Alicia.

"Hey Jace! Whatcha doing? Her voice was slurred. I looked at the clock and saw that it wasn't even 2.

"What's wrong Alicia? Are you drunk?"

I heard sniffling coming from the other end. "A little."

Fuck. I had drunken phone calls. They never make any sense and always wind up being a waste of time. 

"Maybe you need to go to sleep Alicia. You sound like you've had one too many. You probably are in for a lot of pain tomorrow."

"I'm ALREADY in a lot of pain Jace. Why didn't you love me? Why couldn't you FIGHT for me? Why did you let me go off with another man when you KNEW I was still in love with you?"

I sat there stunned. What was she saying? I let her go? Why didn't I love her? Was she serious?

"Alicia, go to bed. Don't call me again until you're sober."

I sat at work the next day going over the disturbing call that I got. I knew that it was time for another talk with Alicia. I'd avoided it and cowered away from it. Things were in a good place right now and I didn't want to rock the boat. My daughter was turning into a beautiful young woman. I was exceptionally good at my job. I was making good money. The pain that I'd felt for so long was just about gone. Why now?

As much as I would've loved to keep skirting around the issues, I had to confront her. I couldn't keep getting early morning wake-up calls. The little hints that Alicia has thrown at me indicating that she is now feeling regret were going to keep coming my way until I nipped it in the bud.

So I called her and invited her to Tony's for a slice of pizza. Hell, this seemed to be the setting for our uncomfortable conversations. I hadn't set foot in there since we talked when I first moved out. If felt kind of fitting that we would return to this place for another conversation.

When she walked in I must admit that she looked good. She definitely dressed to impress. Alicia was never a seductive dresser, but she knew what clothes would bring out her assets without advertising to the world that she was a slut. 

"Hey Jace." She said with a broad smile on her face as she sat down. This was going to be harder than I thought.

Once we ordered, we settled in for our talk. We started off with shallow conversation about how much Savannah enjoyed the party and how much she is growing up. When I had enough of that, I started the difficult part.

"So, about that phone call..."

"I'm sorry about that Jace. I just got a little drunk after Savannah went to bed. I didn't mean to drunk dial you."

"Do you remember what you said when you called." The embarrassed look on her face let me know that she had some recollection.

"What was that about?" 

She fidgeted in her seat and wrung her fingers. The pizza arrived and cut the tension some. Once the waiter was out of ear range, she began to explain.

"I've just been taking stock of my life lately. Me, you, Mike, Savannah, the divorce, San Diego. I've just been trying to figure out how I got here."

She took a sip of her Dr. Pepper to wet her throat. "When me and you were planning Savannah's party, it just felt so familiar. So right. I just realized that I missed you more than I knew."

"Alicia, you're just lonely because you broke up with Mike. Whatever he did to you made you vulnerable. Whenever someone breaks your heart you just want something familiar to make you feel safe again. Trust me I know." Even before I finished what I was saying she was shaking her head vigorously.

"You don't understand."

"What don't I understand Alicia."

"Mike didn't break my heart. I broke his." Before I knew it my mouth got ahead of my brain.

"GODDAMMIT Alicia! Did you cheat on him too?"

I had to practically chase her down before she was out of the door. She burst into tears and almost made it to her car before I caught her.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. C'mon, come back in and let's sit down."

Once we were back inside I noticed that the entire restaurant was curiously looking at us. It was like Déjà vu all over again (Yogi Bear reference). I had a flash of our last encounter in this restaurant. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Once I got her to stop crying we lowered our voices. We didn't want our new audience to know ALL of our business.

"Mike proposed to me." Wow. Even though I was past the hurt and the pain, that revelation still hit me in the gut. 

"When he got down on one knee I almost ran away in panic. I knew that I couldn't marry him."

"Why not?"

"Because I was still in love with another man."

Time clicked by slowly as her words sank in. Neither of us made a sound. The silence went from still, to awkward, to unbearable. 

"I don't understand."

"Yes you do Jace."

For some reason, my brain clouded with anger. The years of hurt and torment came rushing back to me like a tsunami. I couldn't breathe in this stuffy restaurant. I jumped up and bolted for the door. This time it was she who chased me down. 

"Jace, we have to talk about this."

"GODDAMMIT ALICIA! STOP CALLING ME JACE!"

My outburst stunned her into silence. She looked at me blankly. Her mouth moved a couple of times, as if they were trying to say something. She got nothing out though. I did not share her inability to talk.




Deployment Pt. 03



"ITS NOT FAIR! You rip my heart out. TWICE! You let that asshole take my place, SIT IN MY CHAIR, and when you're done with him you drop your steaming pile of shit onto my lap?" 

She was still mute, but I was on a roll. 5 years of getting shit on was coming out, and I couldn't stop it any more than she could. It was a runaway train.

"You fucked him. You 'fell in love with him' as you conveniently put it. You chose him over me. That was your fuck up, not mine!"

She finally found her voice, as soft as it was. "I never chose him over you. I WANTED you to forgive me and give us a chance. I was ready to give him up. If you'd come at any time to tell me that you wanted to be with me, I would have left him."

Instead of cooling the hot anger, this only enflamed it more. "BULLSHIT! You gave me some sanctimonious speech about accepting that dipshit as a part of your life and not making an ass of myself. YOU CHOSE HIM! You chose him over me the moment you opened your legs!"

With that she broke out in sobs. That's when I noticed the waiter from the restaurant standing in the doorway.

"Umm, sir, are you going to pay for the pizza?" The nervous kid said. He looked to be the same age as Savannah. I grabbed my wallet and fished out $25. "Keep the change kid." I mumbled. The kid grabbed his new found treasure and thanked me. My bill couldn't have been any more than $12, so he was pretty happy with his tip.

"I'm so sorry Jace." I flinched when she called me Jace, but I made no correction. She was already shaking violently with loud sobs. I felt bad for her, but I couldn't reach out and comfort her. 

"Look Alicia. What's done is done. We can't go back. All we can do is move forward and be the best parents that we can be. " She nodded in agreement and placed her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her as she cried into my shirt.

"How am I ever gonna get over you?"

"I don't know Alicia. I am pretty awesome." She looked up at me and broke into a tearful laughter.

"You know, we can always be friends with benefits. I haven't had sex in a little bit." She tried to make a seductive face, but with all of the tears and the snot, it was a failure.

"Well, now that you've gotten all of the BAD ideas out of the way, why don't we try to be friends? Hmm?"

I was rewarded with another smile. "Friends. It'll take some work, but I can manage that. As long as I can call you Jace."

"Hell, it hasn't stopped you yet. "

We walked to our cars with my arm around her shoulders. 

EPILOGUE

We sat in the audience at our daughter's graduation, just as she sat at mine's years ago. To my left was the mother of my kid and my very dear friend. To her left was her fiancé, Tom. He was an okay guy. He was a little older than us and relatively wealthy. He had two kids from a previous marriage that were in college.

To my right was my beautiful wife, Sarah. I met her while doing security upgrades to her boss' building. She was my point of contact. Over the week that it took me to do the upgrades, she was with me every day. It actually got to the point where she didn't get her own work done because she was with me so much. We dated for 7 months before she moved into my new house. 3 months later we were engaged. 6 months after that, she was my wife.

To say that Alicia had a problem with Sarah would be an understatement. She treated Sarah with even less respect than I treated "Mr. Mike". Eventually, she realized that Sarah was here to stay and she backed off. 

That's when she started dating. I guess there was a part of her that was still holding on to the faint hope that we would find a way back to each other. I'm not going to lie. There were a few close calls. But I couldn't give her my heart again. Both of us had changed so much that I'm not sure we could've made it work anyway. 

I finally realized that while I could trust her as a friend, I couldn't make myself trust her as a wife. That ship had sailed. I did have a fondness of her. Hell, I actually loved her. But the Jason and Alicia Morrison that stood at the pier before I went on that fateful cruise were gone. 10 years of life has made us who we are today.

Savannah's name was called and she strut out on the stage. The audience erupted. Surrounded by my family and Alicia's family, who made the trip for this momentous occasion, we roared with thunderous cheers and applause until our lungs were sore. With a big smile, she grabbed her diploma and waved at us.

THE END



Deployment Pt. 01



"Why are you here? Ever since you got back things have been so messed up? I wish that you would just live on the ship and stay gone! MR MIKE HAS BEEN A BETTER FATHER THAN YOU EVER WERE!"

Those were the words that my daughter said to me almost a year ago. My heart breaks just as much today as it did that day. I run through that one sentence over and over in my head. Fuck, I'm about to start crying again. Give me a minute...

That is how I found out that my wife of 8 years was cheating on me. I had just returned from a 12 month deployment on my ship. The USS Mount Vernon was deployed over in the Middle East to launch Marines and other ground support. It initially started out as a six month deployment, but the Marines had to stay longer. We were their ride back, so their delayed return home was also our delayed return.

My Rate (or job title for all of you civilians) is an Electronics Technician. My job onboard the Mt. Vernon was to fix the IFF (Identification Friend or Foe). That is just a fancy name. Basically, my equipment identifies which ships and planes are American (or American Allies), and which ones are not. I won't go into all of the technical data (it would bore the shit out of you), but my job was important.

My Division (or shop for that matter) had 19 other ET's in it besides me. We all went to school for different equipment (Radar, radios, phones, etc). When something wasn't working the way it was supposed to work, we were the shop that you called. 

Of all of the Techs in my shop, Hanson (in the Navy, we use last names) was my best bud. Hanson actually grew up on a farm before he joined the Navy. I'm from Chicago, so I never really thought people grew up on farms. I'm not a complete idiot. I knew there were farms, per se, but I never actually imagined that a child would grow up milking cows and breeding horses. 

We became best buds because he provided a service that I desperately needed. Cut the Navy jokes out, I'm not talking about that! He was the one who maintained the Satellite phone. On a ship with 400 Sailors and 400 Marines clamoring for the ship's pay phones to call their loved ones, this friendship was a God Send. It was because of him that I was able to call home for free, and do so without waiting in line. You see, Hanson knew how to tap into the VIP's phone lines. When a VIP was away from his State Room (standing watch, eating in the Chow Hall, watching a movie in the Officer's Lounge, etc) , I was free to tap into his/her line and talk. I was the only enlisted guy on the ship with this privilege. Hanson could just as well have used this knowledge, but he had no one to call. 

Now I know that this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it was. These were the days before Skype and Video Chat. We had three forms of communication. Airmail, Email and Telephone. Yes telephone, not cell phone. There were cell phones around, but they weren't as common as they are today. They were about the size of a remote control and costs $.10 a minute. There were no night's and weekend minutes, and unlimited data. They were used for talking only, not texting or instant messaging. Get the picture?

With this gift of infinite free phone time I called my wife. She was the only person worth taking a risk like this for. I missed her every second of every day. When I woke up in the morning, I ached to reach over and cuddle her. When I sat down in the lounge to watch TV, I reminisced about our quality time sitting in front of the tube. When I went to bed at night, I dreamed of running my hand across her skin and...you get the point. 

I wasn't able to call Alicia every night, but I could safely give her a ring about 4 times a week. I had to be careful and make sure that the VIP's weren't using the phone at the time. It actually cost the Navy something ridiculous like $2.00 per minute for me to use the phone, so you can imagine the kind of trouble I could get in if I were discovered. I made sure to limit my calls and use different VIP's so that the Navy would just think it was them making the calls and not investigate it. 

Back before I was able to call home via the VIP's lines, we had to settle for 30 minutes once a week just like everyone else on the ship. For those of you who have never been in the service, let me tell you that 30 minutes once a week is NOT ENOUGH. It's just enough to make you more miserable. You get to hear all about what your family is doing in your absence, but you have to settle for the abbreviated version. You can't really connect to your wife and daughter in the time it takes a sit com to wrap up. It sucks. Trust me.

When I first left on this deployment, my girls missed me like crazy. I was all they had. When the Navy stationed me in San Diego to serve on a ship for the first time in my career, I had to move them away from all that we've known. Both Alicia and my family were left behind. We were out there with no one but the three of us. With me being gone on this tour, they were even more alone. It was like a taking one of the legs off of a table. Nothing was stable anymore. The team had a big piece missing.

We put on a brave face and did our best to deal with the cards that were dealt. I got care packages in the mail. We e-mailed each other every day. When I called, it was like Alicia's whole day stopped until we got off the phone. No matter what she had planned, she would cancel them to talk to me. Because of the time differences, my call could come through at any odd hour. No matter what time it was, she was always there to pick up.

Before Hanson, that 30 minute call was what the entire week revolved around. It was our lifeline. It was the only thing keeping us together. All three of us relished it. But it was hell.

When I was able to call more often, They began to settle down relax. We got into the routine of our lives. They no longer felt that they had to keep vigilant watch on the phone for fear that they would miss my call. Don't get me wrong, they still missed me, but it wasn't the empty kind of missing where you just have a memory keeping you warm. We were able to laugh, talk for a while, and connect. Alicia and I even had phone sex a couple of times. Well, she did. I just listened. Hey, I was not going to pull my dick out and just start jerking away. At any moment the door could open, and the next thing you know I am the butt of a LOT of masturbating jokes. Trust me, I've seen it happen. 

. 

Then we got the announcement from the Captain. The one that changed everything.

When I'd been deployed for 4 months, he gave us the unfortunate news that our deployment was being extended for at least 3 months. Instead of the 6 months we were scheduled, it was more like 9 months. To say I was heart-broken would be an understatement. I was CRUSHED! I dreaded my next call to Alicia. I knew it would break her heart, just as it did mine.

"Hello? Jason is that you?"

"Yeah babe, it's me. How is everything?"

"Everything sucks. I miss my man. Can't wait until you come home. You have no idea how much I miss you."

"Yeah babe, about that..."

And thus I gave her the news. Let me tell you, there is no feeling in the world like the empty, hollow, gut punch you get when you have to be the one to tell your wife you aren't coming home. I could actually feel the happiness being sucked out of her. 

All things considered, she took the news well. Savannah however, did not. Her disappointment quickly turned to anger when she asked me when I was coming home. Three months may not sound like a long time, but in kid years it is FORVER. I tried to down play it and remain upbeat, but neither she nor my wife bought it. 

That extension was actually the turning point in our relationship. I didn't know it at the time, but that was when the trouble began. It was after this phone call that a disturbing pattern started to emerge. 

The first thing that happened was she started missing my phone calls. It was excusable though. Since the time difference was so extreme I could be calling anywhere between 1 pm or 3 am, there was no way that she could hold up her life in anticipation. My ship crossed so many time zones that I stopped keeping up with what time it was back home. So, I wasn't too concerned with her missing a couple of calls. This might have been a problem when I was only able to call once a week. Since the phone tap knowledge, I could call her whenever I wanted. At this point it was a minor annoyance.

When I did catch her, she was still the same warm and loving wife who missed her husband. She said all of the nice things that I needed and expected to hear. She still talked about how she wanted me between her legs. She was still madly in love with me. There was no reason for me to suspect her cheating. 

Savannah was a different story. I noticed the change in her immediately. She became little more distant and solemn when we spoke. All yes or no questions were answered with just a yes or just a no. Our conversations became more and more one sided. I had to practically interrogate her to find out how her day was in school. I knew that she was hurting and missing me, so I just let her know that I loved her and I would see her soon. 

Over time, the pattern of missed calls starting becoming more and more apparent. It eventually reached a point where I would have to call 3 or 4 times before I even got her on the phone. When I asked her why she was rarely available to answer the phone, she got defensive. She explained it away well enough. She was at the grocery store, she took Savannah to the movies, she was at the gym, etc. She always gave me these excuses with a tone of indignant annoyance.

I tried to back off. I didn't want her to feel guilty about not waiting by the phone. I swallowed my anger when I finally got her on the phone. I put my best face forward and tried to keep our talks light. She seemed to be okay with it, but I was going insane. By month 6, I was practically pulling my hair out.

All of this time, I never actually thought she was cheating. The stress of deployment can get to even the most devoted couple. I knew that there were "West Pac Widows", but I never thought Alisha would fall into that category. For those of you who don't know what that is, let me explain. 

My ship is based in San Diego, California. For those of you who understand Geography, California is on the West Coast of the United States. West Pac is actually short for West Pacific, which is the ocean that California borders. When a ship on the west coast leaves for a long deployment, it is usually called a West Pac. For the wives left at home, they are considered West Pac Widows. Usually, this term only applies to the wives who are "on the stroll" as soon as the ship sails out of sight.

I started to get that nagging feeling in my gut after our conversation. It wasn't that she was any less loving. It was just that something wasn't right. There was a puzzle piece that was missing. I couldn't ignore it, but bringing it up would do more damage than good. What could I do from 3000 miles away? 

My gut feeling became justified in my eighth month of the cruise. We were supposed to be heading home, but we hadn't gotten the word yet. There was a hushed nervousness in the air. The crew was practically on pins and needles. We went through our day, holding our breath. We had one month left, and nobody wanted to jinx it. People even stopped watching porn as they prepared their man-meat for real pussy. Our dreams were shattered by the announcement that our tour was being extended yet again. 

"We're fine Jason. You just do your job and come home. We'll still be here when you get back."

This is what she said to me when I broke the news to her. I was surprised at how well she took it. She didn't get upset, didn't sound disappointed, didn't even tell me that she missed me. She sounded so calm and clinical about it that I had to make sure that she heard me right. 

I was dejected. I tried not to let it show. I mean, I didn't want her to fall apart like she did last time, but damn! She sounded like I just told her how hot it was over here. We talked, but she was so cool about the news that I wasn't coming home that I knew something was wrong. When we finally got off of the phone, I told her "I love you."

She returned with a flat "Luv you too." Then the line disconnected. 

I tried to call her throughout the week. Sometimes she would be there, sometimes she would be gone. When we did talk, our conversations were just like that first one. They became more about me getting information than making a connection. My daughter grew more disinterested in talking to me. It was like she was bored. Even though we could talk for hours, our calls didn't last much longer than 25 - 30 minutes.

After each call, I felt more alone than I did before I called. I felt miserable being brushed to the side by the only 2 people that I gave a shit about. My family was slipping further and further away from me, and I was helpless to stop it. It was like I was in the passenger seat of my life. I had no control of the direction that my marriage was going. All I could do was hope the driver knew where he how to get there. 

I tried to bring it up to Alicia and tell her how I was feeling. She honestly didn't understand how I was feeling.

"We talk almost 3 times a week. What do you mean we're connecting less?"

"No we don't talk three times a week. I CALL three times a week. You're hardly ever there. I don't know Alicia. It's like...it's like you and Savannah don't even like talking to me. I can't explain it. But something is off. I can feel it."

"That's in your head Jason. "

"Maybe. Don't you guys miss me?"

"Of course we do."

I was not convinced. She said it so automatic and without feeling, it was like she was pre-programmed to respond to that question. She didn't put any type of feeling into it. She sounded like she wasn't even trying to convince me. She was just saying all of the words that were supposed to be said, but I didn't feel any of them. I actually pictured her blowing her nails in between responses.

"You guys don't sound like it. I would expect you to be a little more broken up about me not being there."

"You really want that? You really want me and your daughter miserable knowing there is nothing we can do about it? Would that make you feel better?"

Wow. If I didn't know any better I would think that she sounded annoyed with me when she said that. Almost. I shook my head and held back the tears.

"No Alicia. That's not what I want."

"Good."

Silence.

"Well, I'm gonna let you go Alicia. Tell Savannah that I love her. I love you."

"Okay Jase. Luv you too. Bye."

Click.

I started cutting my phone calls down after that. It was becoming too painful. I felt like a footnote to my wife's life now. Talking to her just reminded me that I wasn't there, and that they were okay with that. 

I just got to get through this deployment. That's what I kept telling myself. I can't fix it from here. When I get back to Cali, I will work on my family. If I have a family left to work on, that is.

It's impossible to work on connecting with my family from the Arabian Sea (which was where I was at this point). I just had to get stateside and throw myself into my girls. 

I did the only think I could do at that point. I threw myself into my job. Isn't that the cliché response to a marriage on the rocks? I couldn't keep still because when I sat down, I'd start to think about my failing family. I did maintenance on my equipment. I took on extra duties. Hell, I even fixed Play Stations. I did everything that I could to keep busy. 

During the day I was able to keep my mind occupied. It was the nights that I dreaded. No matter how much I ran, I couldn't get away from them when I lay in my bunk at night. That's when the tears wouldn't take no for an answer. They sprang forth, fighting for release. Whether I wanted them to or not, they found their way to the surface and onto my pillow. That twisting pain in my chest made me hiccup in between sobs. In a ship with 800 people, I was utterly and completely alone. 

Things between my girls and I progressively got worse. The rift that existed became a chasm. Alicia didn't even mention the fact that I was calling less even though I had the capability to call more. Ironically, I was calling once a week and only talking for 30 minutes. I don't even think she noticed. When we did talk, things were strained. She didn't outright blow me off, but our conversation become one of those things that she could do without. 

At month eleven, we were all holding our breaths again. No one talked about going home. No one mentioned the length of our deployment. It was like we were trying tip toe around that horrible announcement as if it were a sleeping monster. We were afraid that if we were too loud, we would wake it up and suffer the wrath. The tension was at its apex on the Mount Vernon.

When the Captain got on the com, you could practically hear everyone take a breath and hold it. 

"Attention Mount Vernon, this is your Captain." Not another sound was heard except for the 1MC (loud speaker). I think even the rats down below were paying attention.

"It is my pleasure to thank all of you for your hard work and dedication to achieving the mission. It has been on my pleasure to serve with you on this deployment. The time has come that we...prepare the ship to return home. WE'RE GOING HOME BOYS!"

The ship erupted. I don't think I heard cheers that loud at Laker games. WE WERE HEADING HOME!!

In the days that followed, we were a ship full of smiles. All of those annoying things that your shipmate did a month ago was now just a funny quirk. The guy that you wanted to choke last month was making plans to buy you a beer when the ship pulled in. Porn practically ceased for all married guys. WE WERE GOING HOME!

I called Alicia to let her know the news. To be honest, I didn't know what kind of response to expect from her. By now, the possibility of her cheating was real to me, even though I didn't voice it. It was just a suspicion at this point. The only thing I had was a gut feeling and a wife who barely wanted to talk to me.

I was pleasantly surprised that she screamed when I told her the news. She was actually happy. I think she even giggled.

"Oh my God, are you serious?"

"Yeah, we just got the announcement today. We'll be there in a month."

"You're not fucking with me, are you Jason? Because if you are, it isn't funny."

"No Babe. I'm coming home!"

"OH MY GOD. God, I never thought you'd be coming home."

I heard her shriek so loud that I had to take the phone away from my ears. Suddenly, all of the suspicions and the gut feelings went away. We were laughing and joking again. I had my wife back! Damn that felt good!

Savannah was not as easily swayed. When Alisha told her I was coming home, I heard her say "Yeah right. We'll see."

The rest of the month was a blur. I don't know how I got any work done. My mind was in a haze. The only thing that was on my mind was thinking of ways to reconnect with my family. I also was thinking of ways to RECONNECT with Alisha, if you know what I mean. Somehow, I got through the rest of my deployment. 

Finally, after a year away, the prodigal son also known as the Mighty Mt. Vernon proudly docked pier side in San Diego. She was given a hero's welcome. The pier was filled with the family of service members. There was cheering, there were banners, there were signs with guy's names held up. News cameras were also onsite, capturing every moment. It was truly an epic event. 

When I was let off of the ship, I searched through the crowds to find familiar faces. Then, I saw them. My two girls, looking like a cool drink of water in the middle of the Sahara. All of the pain in the last year was worth this moment.




Deployment Pt. 01



The first thing that I noticed was tall Savannah had gotten. She was growing so fast. Her angelic face looked like a younger version of Alicia. 

And speaking of Alicia, OH MY GOD!! I took in my wife and for the first time noticed how HOT she was! She had cut her hair and it fit her face with perfection. It was obvious that she spent time at the gym since I was gone. It was definitely paying off. 

When we married, she was the hottest thing on two legs. Her waist was slim, her ass was round, and her tits were perky. Over our 8 years, she gained a little weight. Don't get me wrong, she still had a body that got the cock hard. She wasn't fat or anything like that. She just got a little chubby around the middle. The breasts had a little sag to them. Her face got a little rounder. Now, she looked like she belonged on an infomercial for exercise equipment. Her tummy was flat and her ass was luscious. On top of everything, she had on make-up. My wife never wore make-up!

I dropped my seabag and sprinted over to them. All of those months away at sea washed away in the moment that I saw them. The pain from my chest was gone. I was a whole person again.

I grabbed Alicia and hugged her. To be more accurate, I lifted her off of the ground squeezed her. She felt so great in my arms. 

Then I leaned in for a kiss. I was met by closed lips. No tongue. 

I let her go and looked in her eyes. She returned my gaze with a forced smile. It looked like it was painted on. Though I knew that she was glad that I was back, I could tell she wasn't happy. 

I looked down at my daughter and saw the same eyes. We were inches from each other, but the chasm was still there. She gave me a brief hug and stepped back. Suddenly, that pain that I felt was back.

The ride home was relatively quiet. Not what you would expect from the family of someone who had been gone for a year. We carried on pleasant but shallow conversation filled with awkward pauses. Alisha looked straight ahead as she drove. I looked out of my window. Savannah sat in the backseat without words. It was just one of the most awkward times that I'd spent with my family.

When we got home, we ordered pizza. I know it's not a gourmet meal, but let me tell you. After a year of ship food, it was HEAVENLY. We tried to spend time as a family, but it seemed strained and forced. It was like we were trying to do things that a family would do instead of simply BEING a family. When Savannah finally went to bed, Alisha and I retired to spend some adult time together.

She put on some lingerie that had me hard enough to cut diamonds. With her new body I almost felt like I was cheating on my wife. She dropped to her knees and gave me a blowjob that had me squirting in her mouth in a matter of minutes. Since I'd held my come for about a month now, I only needed about a 10 minute break before I was ready for the main course.

I know at this point everyone is wondering if she felt looser around my cock. In all truthfulness, she didn't. She wasn't exactly tight though. She didn't feel like someone who abstained from sex for a year. That wasn't really telling though, because she has a few dildos and vibrators. The only thing that I noticed was that she didn't seem as into it as I would have liked.

Don't get me wrong. She went through all of the motions. She "oohed" and "aahed". She climbed on top for a little cowgirl action. She even came twice. But there was that connection that was lost. I didn't know how to get it back. 

Over the next few weeks, we all tried to adjust to me being home. Savannah barely acknowledged my presence. She wasn't angry at me. It was just like I was a stranger living in the house. When I had to tell her what to do, she would respond with apathetic obedience.

Alicia was about the same. We existed around each other, but we weren't a couple. We did wind up having sex a few more times, but something was missing. We both orgasmed, but it was like she was a hooker and I was a John. I had become a footnote in my family's life.

It wasn't until I'd been home for a month that I found out the reason for my exile. It was actually a few days before Savannah's birthday. I was passing by her room and overheard her on the phone. She was giggling and laughing. I thought she was talking to one of her friends until she said, "Please Mr. Mike! If you buy it for me I'll be your best friend!"

I perked my ears up. Who the fuck is Mr. Mike?

It was the next words out of her mouth that ripped my heart out through my stomach.

"Okay. I love you too."

Before I knew it I was storming in her room.

"Who were you just talking to?"

She looked up at me with eyes filled with guilt. She didn't speak, she just looked at me. I saw tears welling up in her eyes.

Alicia came around the corner and saw us there. The look on Savannah's face let her know that something was wrong.

"What's going on here?" She asked. I noticed Savannah look at her with a silent plea. 

"Savannah was talking to some guy named Mike. She said that she loved him. I was trying to find out who my daughter was talking to."

"Oh"

That was the only word that came out of her mouth. Oh. She wasn't surprised. She wasn't trying to find out who Mike was. She just said, "Oh".

Now I was pissed. "WHO THE FUCK IS MIKE?"

That started the three way argument. Alicia tried to explain. Savannah defended him. I yelled and swore. It ended with the statement that started this tale of woe. I'd replayed my daughter's hurtful words in my brain over and over again. I still see her tear stained face. It tortures me to this day.

Mr. Mike is a better dad than you've ever been. Fuck.

That was a year ago.



Deployment Pt. 02



I slept on the couch that night after the big blow-out. We didn't have money for a hotel room or another apartment like you hear in other stories. I was only an E5, not an officer. I guess my pay was equivalent to a person making about $17 an hour with no overtime. My plan was to pack the next day and move onto the ship. Why go to a hotel when I have a bunk to sleep in and a Galley to eat in on the mighty Mt. Vernon?

As I laid down on the couch, I was engulfed in the silence. It was more than just mere quiet. It was a lonely silence. I was like a manifestation of my family now. Empty. Without warmth. Devoid of life.

The next morning, I stuffed a few items of clothing and toiletries into my seabag. Alicia was sitting silently on the bed, staring straight ahead at the wall in front of her. Nothing was said. Not a word, a grunt, or a sniffle passed between us.

I guess there was nothing left to be said. As I packed I fought back the unshed tears. Everything that I put into my bad was another part of my life that was no longer a part of this family. Piece by piece, brick by brick, the strong foundation that my family was built on was removed. 

She did look at me a couple of times like she wanted to say something, but then she would shake her head and stare back at the wall. There was nothing to be said. In a way, Savannah said it all last night. I was a shit father. I was gone, and Mr. Mike was here. 

"You don't have to go." I heard her say in a barely audible voice. I stopped packing for a moment. I didn't look at her. I couldn't look at her. I just stood there, looking at my seabag full of clothes. 

My brain raced, trying to formulate words. I just couldn't seem to find the right ones to express the torrent of pain and anger that was inside of me. I opened my mouth a few times in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out.

There we sat in our once happy bedroom. We were three feet away from each other, but we were miles apart. Neither of us could look at the other.

"I......I do still love you Jason."

You still love me? Did I hear that correctly? This bitch fucks another guy and all she can say is she still loves me?

The anger took over. It welled up inside of me. I was about to lash out and start the screaming again when I heard Savannah out in the hallway. Not wanting to put her through another episode of what happened last night, I swallowed the bile and I started packing again. Alicia, seeing the futility of any conversation, got up and left the room.

As I was walking toward my front door....her front door....I saw Savannah standing in the hallway watching me. I stopped and made eye contact with her, searching her eyes for the daughter that I left a year ago. 

What I saw was a confused little girl who was in a lot of pain. She looked up at me with a face that was so angelic, yet so torn with emotions. Her eyes didn't have any tears in them, but I could tell she was a few moments away from breaking down sobbing. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't hate her. I could hate my unfaithful wife. But not her.

"No matter what happens, Savannah Banana, I just want you to know that I will always love you. You are my world."

Finally, the wall that had been built up cracked. The tears fell freely and she broke. My heart melted as she rushed over to me and wrapped her little arms around my waist.

"I'm so sorry daddy! I didn't mean it! Please don't go! This is all my fault!"

I dropped my seabag and hugged my little girl. There was no stopping my tears now. In my peripheral vision, I could see Alicia bring her hands up to her mouth as she watched the scene in front of her. I couldn't see her eyes, but I'm certain that she was crying.

"Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me." I pulled her away from and kneelt down so that I was eyelevel with her. As her tear soaked eyes met mine's, I could see into her soul. It was broken. 

"This is not your fault. This has nothing to do with you. This is between me and mommy. We have to figure some things out and need some time apart. Don't you ever for one second believe that this is your fault."

Okay, so I lied. It actually was a little bit her fault. But are you going to tell an 8 year old that she was partly to blame for breaking up her family? 

"I love you Banana. Just because I'm going to be sleeping on the ship doesn't mean that you're not ever going to see me."

She hiccupped and swung her arms around my neck, gripping me tightly. "Last time you went on the ship you never came back."

Fuck. What do you say to that?

I calmed her down and promised to be back tomorrow. There was nothing that could be said. I would just have to show her.

Life limped on for a few months. I did manage to visit Savannah almost every day. She became the little girl that I left behind, albeit a lot sadder. I took her out to eat, we went to movies, I even took her to Lego Land (those out in California should know about Lego Land). We became the dynamic duo. As sad as this situation was, I was growing closer to my daughter than I had in years. It's sad that it took this for me to realize that I wasn't as attentive to her as I could've been. Since we had to move out here to San Diego, she's been basically alone. I didn't realize just how lonely she felt. All of her cousins, her family, her friends, were back home. Alicia and I were all she had. Then, with me going out to sea, she was left vulnerable. Kind of like an open wound. Maybe if I'd been more attentive to how lonely my girls were, Mr. Mike wouldn't have stood a chance. Maybe.......

I had to cut myself off right there. That bitch cheated. Not me. I can forgive my daughter. She's eight. She doesn't have the full capacity to understand what she's feeling. But the cunt that I married knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She let that asshole infiltrate my family and weave himself into their lives. She allowed him to worm his way between her legs and into their hearts. 

As for Alicia and I, we were as cordial as we could be in front of Savannah. Though our brief conversations were dripping with fake pleasantries, we kept up the appearance of a united front. The hurt and the pain was brimming beneath the surface, but we held it together. 

I still was unable to look her in the eyes when we were in the same room. My mind filled with so many questions that I both needed to know but didn't want to hear. On top of that, looking at her just drove home what I lost. With her new found hotness, it was difficult for me to not be regretful. 

On a few occasions I could feel that she was gathering the courage to get "that conversation" started. You know, the one where we figure out what the hell we were doing. When I felt the build-up towards it, I found a reason to leave the room. I know it was a bit childish, but I wasn't ready yet. Plus, I wanted her to stew in her misery for a little bit. The uncertainty was miserable for her, and that made me want to draw it out. I didn't want her to feel the relief of "getting it off of her chest". I definitely wasn't ready to absolve her. 

When I wasn't with Savannah, I was making myself busy on the ship. Many people think that once a ship is docked, that there is nothing left to do until it is ready to go out on deployment. That couldn't be furthest from the truth. The equipment still has to be maintained and tested. Upgrades have to be added. Classes are taught about some of the changes that are being made to policy. And that is just the technicians. Every Rate (job) has their own set of tasks that have to be done to keep the ship deployment ready. 

Right before my ship was about to leave out for a month, I got a call in the shop that my wife was here to see me. Fuck! Being that she came to ship, I couldn't ignore her and blow her off. If I did, everyone would just have to know why. On the ship, it is best to keep your ship life and family life separate. The Navy tends to stay out of family life, but once you invite them into your problem, it becomes an even bigger problem. So I had no choice but to go down to the Quarter Deck (main entrance) to meet her.

"Can we finally talk? We can't just go on like this forever." Wow. Straight and to the point. I nodded, but didn't say anything. She was right. We couldn't go on in this sort of limbo. One way or another, we needed to put our cards on the table and hash this out. It was time.

"Let's go to Tony's and get a couple of slices of pizza. Then we can talk."

So there we sat across from each other. Neither one of us knew how to get the ball rolling. This talk seemed like a good idea a half hour ago. 

I finally got up the courage to ask the million dollar question that'd haunted me for months now. "How many times have you fucked him?"

She actually had the gall to flinch at the word "fuck", like it was crass. What the hell did she think they were doing? Making love?

"I don't.....think that matters Jason."

"Like hell it doesn't."

"Would it change anything if it were once or a hundred times?"

"Humor me Alicia. You owe me this. You don't get to decide what information is important for me to know. "

She nodded her head sadly. "A few times"

"How many times is a few? 3, 4, 10?"

"God, I don't know Jason! Four, maybe 5 times."

I softly tapped my knuckle on the table. In my mind's eye, I pictured them rolling around in the bed. Naked. Sweaty. Fucking. She sat across from me, wringing her fingers nervously.

"Did you guys do it in our bed?" She nodded softly and lowered her eyes. That mental image made me want to throw up. Suddenly, I wasn't hungry for pizza anymore. 

"Was he better than me?"

That snapped her head up. She looked at me with a face of disbelief. "Really Jase?"

I just looked at her. I didn't answer her, but my expression told her that I wanted an answer.

Suddenly, her expression turned sinister. She contorted it into an antagonizing smile. "What do you want to know? If he had a bigger dick than you? If he fucked me longer than you? If I screamed his name while I came? Is that what you want to know?"

My shocked expression must have betrayed me, because she knew she was on a roll. "Maybe you want to know what positions we used. Did he fuck me doggy, or did I go cowgirl on him? What about dick sucking? Do you want to know if he came in my mouth as I sucked on his dick? Does it turn you on to think about that? Huh? Are these really the questions that you want to know, or do you want to actually get to the root of our problems?"

I began to get some of my bravado back. "The root of our issues is that you FUCKED another man Alicia. If you think that picturing you in OUR bed with that asshole is a turn on, then you are dumber than I thought. I just need to know what could possibly make you throw away our life together. "

"YOU WERE GONE! YOU LEFT ME HERE, WITH NO FAMILY, NO FRIENDS, AND I HAD NO IDEA WHEN YOU WERE COMING BACK!"

She yelled so loudly that everyone, including the kitchen staff, were looking our way. She must have noticed too, because she recovered herself and spoke in her normal voice.

"I didn't mean for it to happen this way Jase. I swear to God I didn't. I just missed you so much that it hurt. I had no one. My life revolved around Savannah and waiting for a telephone call. Then Mike came along and...and he was so easy to talk to. I was so lonely that I just gravitated to him. I enjoyed having another adult to interact with. I had no intention of being more than friends with him. Then, he met Savannah and he was so good to her that I just let my guard come completely down. Before I knew it, we were........dating."

The anger that I'd felt came rushing back with a vengeance. It was like burning magma in the pit of my stomach.

"By 'dating' you mean fucking, don't' you Alicia?"

"No Jace. I mean dating. Going to movies, out to eat, to Disney land. Just hanging out and having fun."

"When did the sex enter the picture?"

She began to look embarrassed. Not able to meet my eyes. She wiped her tears away with the back of her hands. 

"A couple of months later I guess. I think it was around the time that you were supposed to be home the first time. Maybe the 6th month. I remember thinking that I wished you were here because I was so horny. Then he showed up and it......just happened."

I let out a sarcastic laugh at that. It just happened. How quaint. How convenient. She wasn't to blame. It just happened. Like a car blowing an engine. It was completely out of her control. Just chemistry, human biology, and bad timing. Not to mention the big bad husband who neglected his poor, lonely wife.

"That's just great Alicia. So while I am off, SERVING MY COUNTRY, you were 'dating'." I used my fingers to indicate the quotations at "dating". 

"It wasn't about the sex. We didn't do it on a consistent basis. If it happened, it happened. Our relationship was more about being together. I tried to keep him as just a friend, but things happened. I never meant for it to get out of hand."

"So this is the part where I'm supposed to feel bad for you, right? Where I'm supposed to understand where you're coming from. I'm not supposed to think you're a whore because it 'just happened'. Is that what you expect?" She snapped her mouth closed and let didn't try to speak again. 

I could see that my words cut her, but I didn't give a fuck. Now it was my turn to throw words at her for shock value.

"Since you two were 'dating', tell me, how many dates did it take for him to tap that ass? If memory serves me, I was balls deep into you on the first date. I'm just wondering if marriage has made you any less of a slut than you were back then."

Her shocked, pained expression let me know that my words hit a bullseye. They shot straight to her heart. Good. Her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip trembled. I couldn't help but to feel a little bad about hurting her like that, but at the same time I felt a little vindication. She is only feeling a portion of the pain I feel at the knowledge that my wife was "dating".

"Look Jase" she started, but she was too close to tears. She had to cut herself off because of the frog that lumped in her throat. "I know that I hurt you. I'm more sorry about that than you'll ever know. I really am. But......but we have to figure out where we go from here. This place where we are isn't good for Savannah. She is confused and I don't know what to tell her. She needs to know where this is going. We all do."

We sat there for a few moments in silence as I calmed down. As much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't dispute that she was right. I would've liked nothing more than to drag this agony out for Alicia, but I knew that Savannah was suffering too. It was time to put my big boy pants on and suck it up. I simply nodded, letting her know that I agreed with her.

"What is it that you want Jase? What do you need from me?"

There is was. That was the conundrum. What did I want? All of this time, I never asked myself that question. I know that seems silly, but it never really occurred to me to actually figure out what it is that I wanted.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

This time she nodded. She took a sip of her Dr. Pepper and looked me in the eyes. God, she was so beautiful. For a split second, I wanted to reach out and kiss her. But I didn't.

"There is one thing I need to know Alicia. Do you love him?"

She punched me in the gut when she broke eye contact again and looked down at her hands. That told me everything I needed to know. For some reason, it no longer mattered how much they fucked or if he was better than me. That one fact trumped everything else.

"Yes. I do love him. I'm going to be completely honest with you. I never set out to be a cheater, but I fell in love with him."

She looked deep into my eyes, gauging my response. I sensed that she was silently pleading with me to understand this situation, to come to some sort of consensus. But if this bitch thought that I was going to excuse her cheating and make it okay, she is dumber than I thought she was. 

"Look Jase. I fell in love with him. Yes. But I love you more. You are my first love, and I will always love you. If you could find it in your heart to fight for us....for me....I would give myself to doing the same. I haven't seen Mike since you got back. I told him that it was over a week before your ship pulled in. I was...am...prepared to never see him again. I will devote my EVERYTHING to making my marriage work, and I will make this right by you. "

Those pleading eyes. They were searching me, begging for a way back into my heart. I felt myself begin to thaw. My God! My heart wanted nothing more than to just grab her and whisk her home. I wished so badly that things could go back to the way they were. 

But how can she make this right by me? How could we move on? She fell in love with another man. No matter what we did in the future, that fact would haunt our relationship forever. I would forever know that her love was not exclusively mine. I could get past the sex. After all, I've been gone for an entire year. If she had a fling, a "West Coast Widow" moment, I could eventually put that in the rearview. Hell, if I'm being honest, had I been anywhere else except on a ship full of guys I might have been tempted to search for a little side piece myself. But she fell in love. Not only did she give her body away, she gave her heart too. On top of that she allowed this asshole to worm his way into my daughter's heart. NOW THAT HURT. No matter how hard I tried, I could never get past that. How could she expect me to?

I think she saw the emotion play out across my face. She knew where I was leading. I saw the disappointment in her eyes. The last ray of hope had burned out. We both knew it.

"I'll call legal and get started with the divorce."

__________________________




Exactly one year after "the night of discovery" I sit here on the ship with the divorce papers in my hand. Signed, sealed, delivered. I know that this sounds funny, but the reality that my marriage is over is just now starting to sink in. I don't know how long I stared at her curvy feminine signature at the bottom of the last page.

The tears overwhelm me and my body starts to shake violently as I sob harder than I ever have before. They were loud, gasping sobs. I cried so hard that I had to make myself take a breath. Luckily, I'm in the shop all by myself so there is no one to witness my "moment". Seeing Alicia's signature on that line was more powerful than any embarrassment that I would have felt at crying in front of another man.

This past year has been a roller coaster of highs and lows. On the one hand, my relationship with my daughter has never been better. I have learned more about her than I knew possible. I was looking for the daughter that I left to go on tour for a year, but what I found was that I hardly knew that girl. Savannah talks a mile a minute. I mean, she doesn't let up. I have never laughed as hard as I did while listening to her when we spend time together. 

On the other side of things, the burning heart ache of looking at my beautiful wife.......ex-wife.....and not being able to have her is too painful for words. When I go to pick up Savannah for some father/daughter bonding time, I have to sit in what used to be my apartment with Alicia. When I'm away from her it's easy. You know, out of sight out of mind. But when I'm in the same room as her; smelling her perfume, watching her ass as she bends over to get things out of the refrigerator, admiring her face as she uses her fingers to gently guide an errant wisp of hair out of her face, a knife rips through my chest and plunges into my heart. It is just torture.

My pain reached its apex on an afternoon right before the divorce was going to go through. She sat me down and told Savannah to go outside for a moment to give us a chance to talk. I knew that I wasn't going to like where this was going by the look in her eyes. They were filled with regret and anxiousness. 




Deployment Pt. 02



At first, she wouldn't even look me at me. I sat back in my used-to-be favorite chair and silently waited for her to start. Her face took on a solemn but determined look and she finally made eye contact. She'd come to a decision in her mind.

"Jason, I wanted to talk you about something."

No duh bitch. That's why I'm sitting here. I didn't say that of course. On the outside, I was still and calm. On the inside, I was suffering.

"I have apologized many times over this past year for what I did while you were away. I am more sorry about that than I have ever been about anything else that I've done in my life."

Still I sat there silently. She was building momentum and I was just along for the ride.

"I want you to know that I regret how we got here, but I do accept that we ARE here. So I want to tell you that I'm done apologizing. Part of me had hoped that you would change your mind and stop this divorce. I hoped that you would fight for us and try to forgive me. If you made half of the effort to re-connect with me that you've made with Savannah, we could've had a chance. But you couldn't move past it. I'm not blaming you for the fall of our marriage. I fucked up by cheating. I made that choice, and I regret it with all of my heart."

Still I sat, cool as a cucumber. Or at least that what I appeared to be. I was actually on the verge of an emotional outburst. The more she talked the harder it became. But I held it in.

"I just want you to know that I will always love you, but it's time that I accept what is happening. You aren't going to stop this divorce. So I want you to know that as soon as it goes through, I plan to......start a relationship with Mike."

The last five words that she said hung in the air like a thick cloud. Once they were out, it was like neither of us expected the heaviness that was packed into them. I went through a range of emotions in just a few seconds. First depression, and then hurt, and finally white hot rage.

I leapt up off of the chair and began pacing. Her eyes followed me across the room. Just her eyes. She didn't move her head.

My first instinct was to pass along some of this pain that I was feeling. So, I began to attack her.

"Why are you waiting until after the divorce? I know it isn't because of some deep respect for the vows you took UNDER OATH!" Don't know why I added the under oath part. It sounded right, but it really isn't. We weren't in court when we got married. But I digress. 

She still remained calm. It was almost like she expected this outburst and prepared herself ahead of time.

"I know I broke our vows. You are absolutely right about that. But I have learned from my mistake. You may not be able to see it, but it's true. I'm not waiting until after the divorce for you. I'm doing it because I won't make the same mistake again."

She was so cool and so calm that it pissed me off even more. 

"Well, isn't that good for you. So, you cheat on me, ripping my heart out and stomping on it in the process, but you get a do-over because you've learned your lesson. Well, I'm glad that our marriage was ONE BIG FUCKING LESSON! CONGRATULATIONS!"

I was yelling so uncontrollably that spit was flying everywhere. Savannah came rushing into the house, breaking us out of our fog. The look on her face told me that she could hear me yelling from the outside. Her eyes surveyed us, checking to make sure that we were okay. 

"Hey baby." Alicia said in a comforting voice. I wiped my face with a shaking hand, trying to calm lava that was in my stomach. Savannah went over to her and hugged her in an attempt to verify that she as indeed alright. Alicia kissed her on the forehead.

"We're fine baby. We were just talking and things got a little loud." Then, she looked directly at me and through gritted teeth she asked, "Aren't we fine Jason?" Her eyes were like steel, daring me to disagree.

"We're fine Banana." I even managed a smile when I said that. Savannah softened and relaxed noticeably. 

"Go get a sweater on sweetie. You and daddy are about to go and it's a bit chilly outside." She darted off to her room. The two of us sat there, looking at each other. Tempers were cooling, but they were still there. Savannah coming into the house was like taking a hot pan off of the stove and dropping it in dishwater. 

"What do you expect me to say Alicia? Did you expect me to be happy for you? Proud of you? Did you think that you were going to get an 'Atta Girl!' from me? No matter how you dress it up, the truth is you broke my heart with this asshole and now you're telling me that you want to ride off into the sunset with him."

"I'm not looking for anything from you Jason. I stopped looking for anything from you. I just thought that I should tell you. I didn't want you to feel blindsided if you happen to come in and see him here. I wanted to give you the heads up so you can prepare yourself for it and not make an ass of yourself in front of your daughter. Like it or not, Savannah does love Mike. I am proud of you for making an effort with your daughter, but that does not get rid of the love that she has for Mike. If you wage a war against him, you may just start to alienate her too. I wanted to prepare you for that. So I understand that you are angry. If you need to cuss me out and attack me, by all means get it out of your system. But when Mike enters the picture, you better not make an ass of yourself in front of our daughter." 

Savannah came back full of smiles and ready for our outing. Like it or not, this conversation was over. Alicia said her good-byes to Savannah and, with a final look mixed with regret and determination, she walked out of the room.

"I'm ready daddy." Savannah said. Her toothy smile conveyed her happy mood. 

"Yeah, me too sweetie." I said back. The double entendre was not lost on me.



Deployment Sexting



She wanted to make the pictures sexy, but wasn't sure where to start. As she stood in the kitchen, wiping the last of the dishes and starting the dishwasher, sexy was feeling like a bit of a stretch. To help, she grabbed a bottle of wine from the top rack, stretching up on her tiptoes to grab it. It was a cheap red, but she needed a little extra help loosening up. Popping the cork, she contemplated a glass, and then took a swig straight from the bottle. The wine flowed warmly into her mouth, slightly dry but with bold flavor, and leaving a lingering warmth. Drinking straight from the bottom felt primitive, but powerful. She took another swallow. Grabbing something from the fridge, she walked up the stairs and wondered just what she should wear. 

Sorting through the clothes, she selected a sheer lace black bra, black thong, and thigh-high stockings. Over that, she put on a red dress. She then stripped the coverlets off the bed, leaving just the soft purple blanket on white sheets. To warm up, she set the camera to delay and practiced a couple poses. First, she stood with her hands clasped behind her back, chin tilted up with a dreamlike innocent expression. Next she faced away from the camera, head tilted back to shyly peek at the camera as it snapped. After another swig at the bottle, she decided to let it catch one of her drinking. With the bottle to her lips and one leg on the bed to let the dress ride up, her other hand pulled down on the bodice of the dress to expose more breast. 

After that, she turned on the video camera, and holding it to her face she said a quick hello. "I hope you watch this Charles, and it turns you on. I hope you get a huge hard-on, and stroke it till you blow your load all over yourself. I really wish I could be the one to suck you, and then swallow all your delicious cum in my mouth, or else take it all in my pussy. But you'd better enjoy this video, cause who knows if you'll get another!" With that, she blew it a kiss before setting it down on the drawer and stripping off the dress while the camera recorded. 

As the dress hit the floor, she turned a slow circle for the camera's benefit, running her hands up and down her body. Her husband always adored her tight body and big breasts, clamoring for pictures while he was deployed, and tonight she wouldn't disappoint. Laying back on the bed, she took another swallow of wine, feeling the buzz ride through her belly and down between her legs. 

On the bed, she rubbed her nipples through the lace bra and felt them harden. Similarly, she then ran her hands down her belly and on either side of the thong, feeling her lips swelling and engorging with blood. For a little while she just enjoyed the feel of her fingers on her skin, and imagined Charles's skillful hands on her body. Reaching over to the bedside, she pulled out the glass dildo and vibe. She rubbed it up and down on her pussy for a little while, spreading her legs towards the camera. She then stripped the panties off, leaving only the bra and stockings.

Hanna then grabbed the vibe and let it play with her body. Licking the glass penis, she spread her legs a bit wider. With two fingers, she spread her pussy lips open for the camera, and then slowly inserted the dildo. It filled her pussy nicely, though not as nicely as a true dick. If only it were a little bigger, she mused. Slowly cooing to herself, she let the vibe run over her clit as she began pumping the dildo in and out of her cunt. For the fun of her audience, she then rolled over, the dildo still inside, and got up on all fours with her ass to the camera. 

Holding the dildo at an angle, she braced with her left hand and fucked herself with the glass rod, letting the camera catch all the wetworks. As she got closer, she imagined Charles's hard dick thrusting into her, his strong hands grabbing her hips and his thrusts bouncing her body. Burying her face in the mattress and moaning, she rubbed the vibe hard against her clit while her other hand continued the penetration. The alcohol from the wine, vibrations tingling her pussy, firm dick stretching her cunt, and naughty position all helped her achieve her first orgasm despite the camera, and she let herself moan in pleasure. Rather than high-pitched like she'd heard in trashy motels, her genuine orgasm gasps were just that- more breathy and then quiet yelps almost as if she were in pain. 

As much as she enjoyed the orgasm, it didn't quite satisfy her completely. Still craving a little more inside her, she put the glass dildo back on the bedside table and pulled out the cucumber.

Ever since Charles's wrote her an erotic Santa story, she wondered just how big her pussy could take. Sitting up on the bed, she undid her bra. Then holding the cucumber in her other hand, she had another swallow of wine. It was about halfway empty, she thought bemusedly. She definitely wouldn't be doing this if she were sober. 

Again facing the camera, she got up on her knees on the bed as if she were about to straddle Santa. Pouring some lube on the cucumber, she rubbed it up and down the green shaft. She had cleaned and scrubbed the cucumber downstairs in the kitchen, and now she imagined it was hard man-flesh. 

She then braced the cucumber on the bed with one fist, and spread her pussy lips again with the other. It rested firmly between her legs, pressing against the walls of her pussy. With mini-bounces, she slowly flounced herself down, impaling herself deeper upon the produce. As the first inch widened itself on her body, she was able to pin it in place and grab the vibe again. Though she wanted to, she kinda got stuck right there with it not fully into her. But she kept bouncing, feeling it stretch her even further, and she clenched and relaxed with kiegels around the firmness. Soon her pussy was so engorged and stretched she felt the pressure through to her anus, and she felt an even bigger orgasm building. "Oh my god...unhh... oh FUCK CHARLES!!" she gasped as the swollen cucumber filled her pussy and she imagined riding her husband's huge cock. Arching her body back, her whole body quivered with pleasure as the orgasm took over.

Collapsing on the bed, she slowly pulled the cucumber out. It was soaked with her juices, and her vagina lay gaping open. At least she wasn't leaking cum from her husband's favorite orifice. But she lay in a sheen of sweat and needed a shower. Slowly rolling out of bed, she sauntered over to the camera, pausing briefly with the camera at pussy level before lowering down to blow the video camera a kiss and turn it off. Hanna then grabbed the picture camera, the bottle of wine, and walked into the bathroom.

Her very last picture would be the best, she decided. Already giving him an amazing show, she would end it with a picture he could stare at for hours. Setting the camera timer, she pointed it at the tub. Then, while standing in the tub, she poured the rest of the wine into her mouth, letting it overflow down her chin, throat, breasts, and belly. The dark red wine rivulets stood in stark contrast to her pale skin, pouring over the curves of her breasts and running down her thighs. Shining red rubies of liquid caught in her faint cunt-hairs as the camera went "click". 

As the last drop of wine hung on the lip of the bottle, she opened her mouth eagerly for it. Swallowing it down, she then ran the tub, rinsed it with warm water, and then filled it to settle comfortably into the hot water for a bath. Mmmm... so relaxing. Of course it had been hard to set up all those pictures and video angles, she thought. Maybe next time she needed one of her girlfriends to hold the camera for Charles's deployment sex pictures...