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Confessions From An Affair

By: LonelyMom



Hello there. Come right on in. I hope you don't mind my nightgown and me talking to you here from my bed. No! Don't you go getting the wrong idea! My name is Mary Margaret Hawthorne and I'm eighty-six years old. This bed that you see me here in is my hospital bed. You see, I'm dying. 

No, don't be sad for me. I've lived a long life and all of these people you see crowded around the room are my family and closest friends. The doctors say that I slipped into a coma late last night and there's very little that they can do. 

It's funny, but I can see and hear everything that is going on all around me. Unfortunately for me, this old withered body can't seem to move one little bit. All day I've watched as one family member after another has filed in to pay a little visit. Some of them have talked to me and that's been really nice. Most, however, shuffle in and barely make an attempt to even look in my direction. I can't blame them, I suppose. Nobody wants to look at what is in store for each and every one of us one day.

A little earlier, Father Mullen from St. Joseph's Church was here; you might even have passed him in the hall. I'm sure Father Mullen is a good man, but he just doesn't seem as imposing as some of the priests that I remember from my childhood. That's neither here nor there, though. The reason I mentioned him was because he said a few words to everyone while he was here. He talked about how sorry he was to see me in such shape. He also said that I was one lucky woman to be surrounded by so many loved ones at a time like this.

I'm not sure that I would pick Father Mullen to be the one Man of the Cloth that I would want fighting the devil himself for my immortal soul, but in this one respect, he couldn't have been more right. I'll be a bit honest with you; I'm more than a little nervous about what's going to happen once this old body gives up the fight and I'm no more. It gives me courage to have so many who have loved me standing by my side.

There was one other thing that the Good Father said while he was here and that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You see, he talked about what a good woman I've been; always willing to offer a helping hand when needed and how I had never done anything to be ashamed about in life. A lovely sentiment, to be sure. But, one that unfortunately isn't true. You see, many years ago I had a moment of weakness that has haunted me ever since. 

I'll come right out and tell you -- I had an affair. Please excuse me if I am blushing. Even though it's been over sixty years since it happened, I'm still quite embarrassed that I ever could have acted in such a way. That is the reason that I am having such doubts about what may happen when this heart of mine has beat its last. You never think about long term consequences when you're young. However, when you get to the point where you can almost feel the wind from the angel's wings against your face, you think about them more and more.

If I am going to tell you the entire story about my shameful episode, then I guess I should go back and give you as much detail as I can. I only hope that I have enough time left to get the whole story out before I'm silent forever.

I was born in 1921 near Loon Lake, Vermont. You've probably never heard of the place and I can't blame you one little bit. It's just a tiny speck of a town that nobody seems to notice unless you had the misfortune of being born there.

My parents named me Mary Margaret. It seems like every little girl was named Mary Something -- Mary Elizabeth, Mary Louise -- it was just the way things were done back then. I always went by my middle name of Margaret; to my friends I was always Peg. My parents were the only ones who insisted on calling me by my proper name and it usually meant that I was in big trouble when I would hear one of them bellowing, "Mary Margaret!"

I had a rather normal childhood. I attended the local Catholic School up through the ninth grade. After that it was thought to be a waste for a young lady to go any further and I took a job at a nearby textile plant. No, I wasn't permitted around any of that dirty and dangerous equipment. I worked in the front office filing papers and typing letters to our endless list of creditors.

I never had a proper boyfriend during my teenaged years. There were a number of circumstances that conspired against me on that front. Chief among them was that my parents were VERY strict and they didn't allow me, as the only girl in the family, any freedom whatsoever. I had four older bothers and they were given free reign to do pretty much as they pleased. I never found that very fair, but as the saying goes -- Who ever said life is fair?

The other obstacle on the boyfriend front was due to just how small Loon Lake was in those days. It's still not much to look at, but in those days there were only about two or three hundred people living there. The number of children my age could probably fit inside one of those fancy SUV's that you see nowadays. There was the same handful of us from first grade right on up through. When your head was filled with images of Cary Grant, it was awfully hard to settle for Richard Peters -- who cried at school when he spilled his milk all over his brand new pants in the third grade.

That's not to say that I was uninterested in the opposite sex. I was like any other normal girl my age. I had my fair share of crushes and even fantasies. However, the fantasies that I entertained were probably a lot different than what you might expect. Nowadays, when you hear someone mention fantasies you tend to think of sexual peccadilloes. My dreams revolved more around romance and marriage. 

I used to spend hours imagining being married to some dashing young man and living in some fabulous mansion. Foolish, I know -- but such were the thoughts of many silly young girls back then. You see, sex education was something that was still thirty years away. The simple truth was that I had very little idea of what sex really was. Sure, I knew what kissing was and I knew where babies came from. But, as for the specifics, it was all a mystery to me.

The extent of my sexual experimentation consisted of an afternoon when I was fifteen years old. That was the day when my closest friend, Laura Wilson, said to me that we needed to practice our kissing skills. She called a boy over from her neighborhood and told him that we both wanted to kiss him.

Oh god! Jonathon Perkins! I can still picture him with his red hair and freckles. I just wanted to melt into the ground when Laura told him why she had called him. Before I could so much as bolt and run, Jonathon said that it would be alright with him. The next thing I knew, Laura had grabbed my hand and led the three of us into her garage. The three of us sort of stood there looking anywhere but at each other for what seemed like an hour or two.

Finally, Laura stood in front of Jonathon and leaned in with her eyes closed and Jonathon kissed her. I stood there with my heart pounding. I was so sure that we were going to be caught and severely punished for what we were doing. The kiss was little more than a quick peck and it certainly didn't look like any of the romantic scenes that I had seen in the movies. Poor Jonathon! I don't know if his face or his hair was more red at that moment!

As quickly as it started, Laura was stepping aside, grabbed my hand, and pulled me face to face with this boy that was two years younger than me. I thought for sure that my two companions could quite clearly hear my heart pounding in my chest. I stood there like an idiot for a moment or two until I felt Laura's hand on my back -- urging me forward. "Go ahead, Peg. Your turn."

I tried to do just like Laura had done -- I closed my eyes really tight and pointed my face towards Jonathon's. I almost jumped when I felt a boy's lips against mine for the first time. Somewhere there must be a list of the world's most awkward kisses and I am sure that this one is way up there on that list! Jonathon must have closed his eyes too because our lips clearly missed each others by quite a bit. However, we quickly corrected our mistake, pressed our tightly closed mouths together, and I was getting my very first kiss!

I have no idea how long we stood there with out mouths glued to each other's. I remember thinking that this wasn't so bad after all! When I finally stepped back it was all I could do to even make myself breathe. My heart was thudding in my chest and I felt a little dizzy.

At last I could hear Laura's voice coming as if out of a fog, "You need to pucker your lips more - like this." She then made an exaggerated pucker with her lips. I had to fight back a giggle because I thought she looked like she was making a fish face!

She turned Jonathon back towards her by the shoulders and this time kissed him deeper than the last one had been. I remember feeling a little bit jealous that she was kissing Jonathon at that moment, but I watched intently and noticed it looked much more like the real thing than her first kiss had. She clutched his shoulders tightly as the kiss went on and on. I shuffled my feet and felt very uncomfortable standing there watching, but mostly I wanted it to be my turn again!

At last they broke their kiss and I found myself stepping up before Jonathon without the need of any encouragement this time. I put the thoughts about fish lips out of my mind, did my best imitation of the actresses that I had seen in the movies, and puckered up for my next attempt.

I followed Laura's lead and placed my hands on Jonathon's shoulders and this time the kiss was much, MUCH nicer! I just blotted out the rest of the world and it seemed as if we were the only two people in all of existence. As we kissed I gave a small jump when I felt Jon place his hands around my waist, but I didn't pull away. There I was -- getting my first real kiss and I was loving every second of it.

We may have gone on kissing there for the rest of the day except I heard Laura clearing her throat. She pried me away by the shoulder and took my place before Jonathon once again. "This time we are going to try it using out tongues," she said.

However, just as she was closing her eyes and lifting up on her tip-toes, we heard Laura's bother outside the garage with some his little friends. Laura and I covered our faces with our hands -- sure that we had been caught doing something that would get us into the biggest trouble of all time! Laura turned to poor, sweet Jonathon and told him, "If you ever say one word about this I am going to beat you up in front of the whole school. Do you understand?"

That poor, dear Jonathon just nodded his head and promised that he wouldn't ever say anything. Just as he was about to leave, he turned to us and said, "If you ever want to practice again, I'll be glad to help." If I hadn't been so scared that we were going to get in trouble, I would have laughed my foolish head off!

So, there you have it -- the great extent of my sexual education! I think that is something that has certainly changed for the better. Nowadays, young men and women have a lot more information about what goes on between boys and girls than we ever did. Back in the mid-thirties, all I had was poor, sweet Jonathon Perkins.

That was my life as the calendar changed to 1940. I had an honest job at Loon Lake Textiles that would never make me rich, but it was at least a steady job. I lived at home with my parents and my income helped to keep the family afloat. Life might have gone on like that for the next twenty years until that awful day in December of 1941 when we all learned that the Japanese had attacked Pearl Harbor.

That was a day unlike anything that any of us had ever witnessed. I swore that I would never see anything like that again in my lifetime! Of course, that was before I lived through it all a second time after 9/11. That winter morning in 1941 people were crying openly in the streets. There wasn't a single Loon Lake resident that had been anywhere even remotely close to Pearl Harbor and I think you would have been hard pressed to find more that a handful of folks that had even heard of the place. Even so, people wept as if their own sons had been attacked.

Even before our tears had begun to dry, young men were rushing out to join the army or the navy. Poor, sweet Jonathon Perkins was among the first to enlist that day. He would loose his life to malaria on a small island in the Pacific that the local newspaper couldn't even spell correctly in 1943. I still say a small prayer for that dear boy to this day.

Another young man that joined the service in those first days was Jackson Hawthorne. Yes, you may have noticed that the last name is the same as mine. And yes, he was my future husband. But, don't rush things. I'm an old woman and I think I've earned the right to tell things in my own time.

Jack worked at the same textile mill where I was working. He worked down in the factory itself, so our paths did not cross all too frequently. We would occasionally bump into each other in the cafeteria or the parking lot and had talked with each other many times during the four years that he had worked there.

Jack wasn't from Loon Lake, itself. He was from Brewster, about fifteen miles to the north -- so I hadn't known him my whole life like just about everyone else who worked there. Jack was really something to look at. He had big square shoulders and blue eyes that could just make your knees weak. We hadn't exactly flirted, but I was keenly aware that his big rugged frame was the first thing that I always looked for when I went to the cafeteria at lunch time.

Jack was a really quiet sort of person. I don't remember hearing him say more than two or three words in my presence during his first two years working there. I would always try to smile when I saw him looking in my direction, but it still took him quite a while before he built up the nerve to give me so much as a nod in reply.

Once, we had both been left standing in the parking lot waiting for our rides to appear and we had the chance to have a real conversation. It was sweet, really -- the way he looked so uncomfortable trying to talk with me. As we waited, I could see him loosening up just a bit. Just when I thought he might ask me out on a date, my father appeared with the old trusty Dodge to give me a ride home. Ever since that day, Jack would almost always take a moment to talk with me. Again, it was nothing flirty -- and he never did get around to asking for that date.

That's where things stood until one morning about three weeks after the attack on Pearl Harbor. That morning I was surprised to see Jack waiting out side Mr. Charles' office. Mr. Charles was in charge of the entire textile mill and, knowing how painfully shy Jack was, I thought it odd that he would be there waiting to speak with the boss. Furthermore, Jack looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He hadn't shaved and it looked like he hadn't slept in days.

"Jack, are you ok?", I asked.

He looked startled at my simple question. Sure, Jack was shy, but we had been conversing regularly now for quite some time and I knew he was more at ease with me than he was showing that morning. He looked everywhere except at me as he mumbled "I have something important to discuss with Mr. Charles."

I went over and sat down in the seat next to him. He still wouldn't look me in the eye and I became very concerned for him. "You look horrible, Jack", I said "What is it that is bothering you?"

Jack just shook his head, but didn't reply right away. Finally, he said "I have to tell Mr. Charles that will no longer be working here."

"What?", I gasped. I thought that maybe I hadn't heard him right.

"I'm enlisting in the army, so I won't be coming to work here anymore."

Without even thinking about it, I placed my hand on Jack's arm and told him, "Come with me. You look a mess and we can't have you meeting with Mr. Charles like that."

Looking back, I realize that it was a completely inane thing to say. However, at the time so many thoughts were flashing through my brain that I'm surprised my mind could even form an entire sentence -- let alone make any kind of sense. Jack rose, as if in a daze and followed me. I led him outside and then turned to face him. I waited -- not knowing what to say until he finally cleared his throat and said, "I -- I have to do it, Peg. Don't you see? Everyone is joining up. It's my duty."

In the weeks to follow, I would hear this same line of reasoning repeated over and over as each of my brothers and nearly every male in that age group enlisted in one branch of the service or another. But, at that moment, Jack was the first person that I was remotely close to that was in that situation.

America hadn't been in the war up until then, but we still read about it and heard about it on the radio. Every day there were reports of the latest casualty figures. Since we weren't involved, it was easy to almost pretend that it wasn't real. Besides, when you live in a town of only a couple hundred people, how do you even comprehend what it meant when they reported that men were being killed by the tens of thousands. It was a horror that your mind refused to even put into perspective.

I wished with all of my heart that I could think of some magical thing to say that would somehow solve all of his problems. Unfortunately, I was only a twenty year old girl with a ninth grade education who had never experienced anything outside this small town. All I could think of to do at the time was to look into his eyes with as much compassion as I could muster and weakly say, "Jack, we're all going to miss you." After a rather longish pause I added, "I'll miss you."

This was as close as either of us had ever come to expressing our true emotions to the other. Jack looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and finally croaked out, "And I am going to miss you too, Peg."

My heart was beating hard in my chest. This was as close as any man had ever come to telling me that I was special to him. I had a fleeting thought that this must be what those actresses in the movies felt when the dashing hero took them in their arms and told them how much they loved them. I remember wishing that he would put his arms around me and hug me to him at that moment.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. We stayed outside for another fifteen minutes or so while Jack explained that he had already talked to his draft board and had told them that he was ready to join the army. The Board told him that he would be reporting to Fort Riley in Kansas for his training.

Pearl Harbor! Kansas! Going half way around the world to fight in a war! It was all too much for my mind to handle. It seemed as if the whole world had been turned upside down. All of that, however, was nothing compared to what came next.

Just as we were turning to go back inside the building, Jack touched my shoulder to stop me. "Wait, Peg. I have one more thing that I want to say to you."

I turned back to face him, but he didn't say anything right away. He looked even more uncomfortable than usual. My heart couldn't take any more big news, so I waited with quite a bit of trepidation. Finally, he began, "Peg, we've been friends for quite some time now, haven't we?"

I nodded, wondering where this might be going. "I hope this doesn't bother you, but for quite some time now I've thought about you as much more than just a friend."

It took all of my willpower to keep my mouth from falling open in surprise! I didn't say anything -- I couldn't say anything! Jack continued, "When a man is about to go off to fight in a war, he doesn't want to go off all alone. Do you know what I mean?"

Again, I just stood there like a mute statue -- my mouth too dry to even attempt to speak. "Peg, I know this very sudden, but I'd like it a lot if you would become my wife."


Confessions From An Affair Ch. 02



In fairytales they always say something like, 'The night flew by swiftly as I lay cradled in my lover's arms'. I wish that I could tell you that's how it was for me. However, during that first night that we spent together as husband and wife I barely slept at all. The events of the day had my head swirling. After all, I had just become a wife. Secondly, I had just been introduced to womanhood. Is it any wonder that I couldn't make myself relax enough to fall into a slumber?

After we had made love for the very first time, I was more than content to simply lie there in Jack's arms. Neither of us dared to speak for the longest time. As the silence deepened, I began to wonder if I had done something wrong. Was Jack disappointed in me? Was there something else that I was supposed to have done? I thought that he had enjoyed himself, but now I started to have all kinds of little doubts.

Finally, Jack turned to me and said, "Do you want to know something Mrs. Hawthorne?" There was a pause while I looked at him expectedly. "All of my life I have been dreaming about what we just did." There was another pause during which I thought I was going to burst. "But, that was so much better than anything I ever could have imagined!"

We both broke into giggles. You have to remember – this was 1941. That's about as racy a conversation that a man and woman would have had at the time. I was so relieved that I felt like was going to cry. I reached up and tenderly stroked the side of his face and whispered, "I love you, Jack."

With that, Jack leaned down and kissed me. It was without a doubt the sweetest, most tender kiss that I had ever had and I felt myself melting. As we continued kissing I could feel him growing excited once more. Oh, my lord! He didn't want to do it again already, did he?I didn't know what to do. I still felt pretty sore down below. On the other hand, what kind of wife would I be if I refused my husband on our first night together?

I thought about how using my hand on him earlier had seemed to make him feel really good. Maybe this would be enough to satisfy him again? I inched my hand down his side slowly. I could hear his breathing change as he must have guessed my intention. Finally, I slipped my hand between us and took his hardening shaft in my hand. This time it felt much more slippery than the last, as he was now coated in out combined juices.

I made sure to grip it just the way he has showed me earlier. Jack let out with a deep moan as I began to slowly stroke him. Seeing his entire body responding to my touch was such a turn on. It made me feel so good to know that I could give him such pleasure. He placed his big hand over my breast and squeezed it. Not too hard; and I felt a tingle spreading throughout my body.

I tried to keep up a steady rhythm as my hand worked up and down his length, but my arm started to get very tired. Jack's hand moved from my breast down between my legs once more. My body stiffened at the thought of him putting his finger in me when I was still so sensitive inside. Thankfully, his finger barely penetrated my opening. I was still pretty wet down there from our earlier lovemaking and Jack tenderly spread our combined juices all over. I gave a small jump when his finger grazed my clitoris. Jack must have noticed it too because he concentrated his ministrations to that particular area.

I had to make myself concentrate on stroking Jack's member. The pleasure that he was inducing inside me with his fingers made that increasingly more difficult. Without even realizing it, I had begun to thrust my hips against his hand – seeking even more of that incredible feeling.

Jack too, had begun to push his hips in time to the movement of my hand. He was moaning over and over and telling me how much he loved me. His reaction spurred me on to try and give him as much pleasure as I could. It also served to make me feel even more turned on. Jack's finger started to move back and forth against my clitoris more rapidly and I could feel my climax rising. 

Lord knows that I tried to keep up my stroking of his manhood, but as my orgasm began, my hands reached up to hold onto Jack's broad shoulders. My fingers dug into his flesh as lights flashed behind my eyelids. I gave out a small cry as I felt my body's release. 

I had discovered self-pleasure as a teenager and I will admit to giving in to that temptation often as I grew up. However, nothing ever felt as wonderful as this! Allowing my husband to touch me so intimately and bring me to climax made me feel so sexy. I didn't even try to hold back as I cried out in pleasure and writhed beneath him.

As my head began to slowly clear, I felt Jack move into position over me. Any thoughts of not wanting to make love again so soon after our first time were banished from my brain. At that moment I wanted my husband to make love to me in the worst way. I willingly opened my thighs to welcome him to take me. I eagerly reached down to guide his manhood to my opening and Jack quickly slid inside me in one smooth thrust.

This time there was far less discomfort as I was more than adequately lubricated. Oh, how wonderful it felt to have him filling me once again! We both let out with deep moans of pleasure as Jack pushed me into the mattress beneath him. Unlike the first time, there was no need to take this slow and wait for me to adjust to such new sensations. Jack began thrusting in and out of me with long powerful strokes.

Instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his muscular thighs and my hands played along his powerful back. Jack was not as slow and tender as he had been earlier. There was much more urgency to our coupling this time. The sounds of his thrusting into my wetness along with our combined moans and the loud creaking of the old bed filled the room.

Jack wasn't the only one feeling this new urgency as I gave myself over to the incredible pleasure that I was experiencing. I lifted to meet his thrusts and used my legs to pull him into me harder. What a turn on it was to feel this muscular man over the top of me – taking me. I writhed and thrashed beneath him as Jack pushed my air out with each wonderful stroke.

Suddenly, I felt Jack give one final deep thrust. With a bellow he once again let loose with his essence deep inside my womb. As I felt his seed exploding inside me, it triggered my own orgasm. I pushed up against him and ground myself against his hardness with all of my strength. I cried out in ecstasy and was mumbling incoherent words of love over and over. Oh, God – I just wanted this feeling to last forever!

Jack stayed in place above me and held me in his arms. He brought his lips down to mine and we kissed with such hunger and passion that it seemed as if we were each trying to devour the other. A voice in the back of my mind kept telling me to hold back. All of my life I had been taught that sex was such a dirty thing. Even my mother had told me, shortly before the wedding, that it was just a duty to let my husband have his way. Nobody had ever explained to me how wonderful it could be. I wondered if maybe there was something wrong with me that I was getting so much pleasure out of it.

I see you shaking your head and chuckling. I know it sounds so silly now, but those were different times. We were raised much differently than young people are nowadays.

Anyways, I banished that little voice in my head and luxuriated in the feeling of having my husband between my obscenely spread thighs and the knowledge that two loads of his seed were inside me. All too soon I could feel his manhood shrinking once again and he slipped out of me. Jack rolled over onto his side and I moved with him to cuddle against his muscular shoulder.

I felt so completely exhausted, but also so completely happy. I kept my legs clamped together to keep any of Jack's precious seed from escaping. Young women had always been told stories about girls that had allowed a man to do to them what we had just done. Those stories inevitably ended with the girl becoming pregnant and forgotten by her suitor. Since I had a wedding band on my finger, I wasn't too concerned about Jack suddenly abandoning me, but the other part of that scenario made me wonder. I secretly hoped that Jack's seed was finding fertile soil inside my womb.

I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed that Jack's breathing had become slow and steady. He had fallen asleep! Well, I couldn't blame him. The events of the day had been taxing indeed. I was afraid to make any kind of movement for fear that I might awaken him. Instead, I just lay there contentedly against his shoulder and savored the feel of him next to me.

This was fine and dandy for a few minutes. After that, my shoulder started to get sore and my arm was falling asleep. What a strange experience it was to share a bed with another human being. I hadn't slept with another person in bed with me since I was a little girl and I used to sneak into my parents' bed when I was having a bad dream.

I thought about closing my eyes and getting some sleep myself, but I had a sudden thought – what if I snored during the night? What would Jack think if we awoke to the sound of his new bride snoring like a lumberjack? How I wished there had been a book that would have answered all of these questions!

Finally, I worked up the courage to try and slip out from Jack's embrace. The poor dear was so worn out that he barely moved as I slid free. I slowly climbed out of bed and retrieved my nightgown and panties. It wouldn't have been decent to sleep in the nude. That's not how married women comported themselves, after all.

I see that you're laughing again. Go ahead and smirk if you must. All I can say is that it made perfect sense to me at the time.

I quietly slipped into the bathroom to relieve myself and then climbed back into bed again. This time I tried really hard to fall asleep, but Jack had begun to snore. It wasn't exactly earth shattering or anything. It wasn't like he was peeling the paint off of the walls or making the windows rattle. However, it did keep me from falling asleep for quite some time.

Blessedly, at some point in the wee hours of the morning I did manage to fall to sleep. My rest didn't last for near long enough, though. What brought me awake was the feel of Jack wrapping his arms around me and murmuring good morning. It was on the tip of my tongue to snap at him and tell him to go back to sleep, but then I felt his aroused member poking me in the back. Suffice it to say that we were soon making love once again to greet the new day.

We might have spent the entire next day in bed except we both knew that we didn't have that much time. We had to catch a bus at noon that would start us on our journey to Fort Riley, Kansas and our new life. I slipped into the shower as Jack left to find us something to eat for breakfast. My body groaned in pain. Evidently, the strenuous activities of the past twelve hours had made certain muscles sore that I hadn't even known existed until this moment. After showering and having a small breakfast, we packed our bags and headed off to the bus station.

A little past mid-day found us aboard an old Greyhound bus on our long journey across this big country. We were both more than a little apprehensive at what lay before us. Jack had once been to Boston with his family. As for me? I had never traveled farther than thirty miles from Loon Lake! The big scary world waited for me out there. I sure hoped that I would be able to find my way in it. At least I had Jack with me. No girl could ask for any more than that.

(Please check back as our story continues with the newlyweds' journey to Kansas and the surprises that await them there)



Confessions From An Affair Ch. 03



(This is the third installment in this story. It is 1941 and our newlyweds arrive in New York City on their way to Fort Riley, Kansas)

*

We settled ourselves into adjoining seats in the old bus for what was to be the longest journey that either of us had embarked upon. I had managed to make a phone call to my mother from a noisy phone booth at the bus depot. It was an awkward conversation, to say the least. I could hear the concern in my mother's voice, but she was far too decent and proper to ever ask about how I had held up during our first night together as man and wife.

As for me, I had to consciously temper the excitement in my voice. I wanted so much to tell her not to worry -- that Jack had been lovingly tender and that our lovemaking had been the most beautiful experience of my life. However, that was simply not a subject matter that one discussed with even those you were most close to.

My body still suffered with a dull ache from our lovemaking. We had made love three times in the past fourteen hours and I'm afraid that I wasn't used to such strenuous activity. I hoped that I would adjust before too long because feeling my husband inside me was something that I wanted to experience again and again. Jack had been so sweet to me. He kept asking me if there was anything that he could get for me and those beautiful blue eyes of his held such love and warmth that I felt just like some kind of princess or something.

The first part of our journey was to be a bus ride from Burlington, Vermont to Albany and on to New York City. From there we would be traveling by train to Kansas. We were both pretty excited and a little nervous. I just couldn't imagine! We would be traveling through New York City and Philadelphia and so many other cities that I had only read about. This was to be the adventure of a lifetime!

I'd like to give you more details about our bus trip, but the truth of the matter was that I fell asleep before we had been on the road for even half an hour. I could feel myself drifting off and I felt guilty about falling asleep and leaving Jack to suffer the ride alone. I fought it for as long as I could, but I finally laid my head on his shoulder and I was out like a light. 

The next thing that I was aware of was Jack gently nudging me awake. We were about to enter New York City and he knew that I wouldn't have wanted to miss my first glimpse of this magical city. Somehow, I had managed to sleep right through all of the stops we had made along road. At some point, Jack had covered me with his coat. I was so lucky to have a man like this as my husband! I knew that he would always take care of me like I was his special angel.

As I was still coming out of my fog, Jack pointed out the window. "Look at that, Peg. Isn't that something!"

We both stared wide-eyed as we got our first glimpse of those magnificent skyscrapers. In Loon Lake the largest building in town was the First National Bank with its soaring three stories! Now we were actually looking at sights that we had only seen at the movies or in the newspaper. "Look", Jack said excitedly, "that must be the Empire State Building!"

My mouth just hung open in awe. How could anybody live in any building that big? The other passengers must have been very used to the vista passing outside the windows of the bus. Nobody else seemed to be gawking like a couple of country bumpkins like we were. I didn't care, though. I was in love and I was seeing things for the first time with my husband right beside me sharing each moment with me.

Before the bus even came to a stop, we were up and gathering our things. Our schedule called for us to spend one night in New York before boarding a train for the remainder of our journey and neither one of wanted to waste one second of our big chance to see the sights. As we climbed off of the bus I was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer number of people who were bustling about Grand Central Station. There I was, standing in that famous landmark that I had seen in countless films while people of all shapes, sizes, and colors hustled past.

Jack must have sensed my shock because he slipped his arm around me and joked, "I had better hold onto you. If we get separated, I may never find you again."

We waited impatiently for the attendants to retrieve our battered suitcases from the baggage compartment. Meanwhile my senses were assaulted with smells and the sounds of people speaking so many different languages. I was completely fascinated with a group of Chinese that were standing nearby. They were wearing brightly colored satin clothing and I strained to listen in as they spoke to each other in the strange, sing-songy tongue. This was the first time that I had ever seen a real oriental in the flesh. How I wished that everyone back home could see me now!

Jack gathered up our suitcases and I followed close behind him as he led the way out of the depot. We would be spending the night at the Grant Hotel which was less than half a block away. As we exited the terminal it seemed as if we had stepped out into some alien landscape. Huge buildings towered over us with enormous signs with advertisements for Wrigley Chewing Gum, Camel Cigarettes, and nearly any other products you'd ever imagined. There was one advertisement for Pepsi Cola that featured an oversized soda bottle that alone was bigger than any building we had back home in Loon Lake.

We made our way to the hotel, registered, and made our way up to our room. There was a funny moment after we arrived at our room when Jack asked me what I wanted to do first. "Whatever you would like to do, dear" I said.

Jack glanced at the bed and shyly said, "We could just lay down for a little bit if you're tired."

I certainly knew exactly what he had in mind and I wasn't fooled for even a minute about his apparent concern for my health and well being. "I'm not really tired at all," I told him," Want to go out and see the sights?"

I have to laugh even now after all these years! I swear to God that the look that flashed across Jack's face was not one of disappointment, but one of relief. I know that newlyweds are supposed to spend all of their time in exploring this new and wonderful world of the pleasures of the flesh, but it was evident that Jack was as excited as I was to drink in as much of The City as we possibly could.

I quickly freshened up and we were off! We made our way through the throngs of people towards Time Square. Along the way we passed by shops selling every imaginable item in the world. There were butcher shops with their offerings hanging right in the front window. There were restaurants with such exotic aromas emanating from them that they just made your mouth water. And everywhere was the constant noise of people shouting or hawking their wares.

I was so fascinated by all of these stores that we had never experienced before that I was surprised when Jack stopped all of a sudden and said excitedly, "There it is, Peg! Time Square!"

I stopped and gazed around me in awe. We were really there! We were really standing in the same place that had been the setting of more movies than I could ever count. It was dirty and noisy and crowded and I thought it was the most magnificent thing I had ever seen!

Jack leaned down and kissed me right on the spot. Now, back home such public displays are unheard of. However, in that moment, with hundreds of strangers bustling past in both directions, I threw my arms around his neck and returned his kiss with fervor. If anyone disapproved of what we were doing, no one said a word except a couple of grumbled "Outta da way's". 

Hand in hand we made our way up one side of the square and down the other. There were enormous neon signs that stood three stories high that were the most unbelievable things that I had ever seen. Those signs would be turned off in a couple of more years as the war effort intensified, but at that moment America was infused with such optimism and New York City was its epicenter.

Jack asked for directions and we found our way to the Empire State Building. I knew that this was the landmark that he most wanted to see. King Kong had been one of his favorite movies ever. Just standing at the bottom and looking up at that incredible building made me dizzy, but how could I deny him when he was so obviously excited.

We hustled inside and dipped into out meager funds to purchase tickets for the elevator trip to the top. Jack was talking so quickly as he said, "This is the tallest building in the world, Peg. Nobody else in the world could ever build anything this big. Isn't it just amazing?"

I just smiled and tried to hide the fact that was scared witless. We boarded an elevator for the first time and began the long climb up. I think I may have betrayed my fear because Jack joked about how hard I was squeezing his hand. I didn't think that elevator would ever stop. I was sure it was going to carry us right up into the clouds!

Finally, the doors opened and we stepped out onto the observation deck. Jack quickly made his way to the edge of the platform, dragging me along with him. I heard him utter, "Oh my God..."

I took one quick look and felt my stomach do a summersault. Just as quickly, I shut my eyes and stepped behind my husband so that he would block my view. Jack was going on as if he had no idea. "Look, over there is the Statue of Liberty! And there's the Chrysler Building!"

I just kept saying, "Uh-huh...Uh-huh". I never once opened my eyes again. Years later they would make a movie called "An Affair to Remember". It was a very romantic movie and was one of my favorites of all time. In the movie there is a scene in which Deborah Kerr was to meet her true love in the same place where I was standing at that moment. I'll tell you this; there is no way would I ever agree to meet anybody way up there! Not even if it was Cary Grant, himself!

I don't know how long we stood on that observation deck. It seemed like years to me. I kept hearing the elevator arriving and I wished with all my heart that we could get on it and get back down on the ground. At last, Jack became aware of my discomfort. "Hey sweetheart, "What's wrong?" he asked. When I couldn't answer, he took me by the arm and steered us towards the elevator.

A few minutes later we were finally back on planet earth. I was glad that I got to see my husband get so excited over something that's he's always dreamed of, but having that experience once would have to be enough for my one lifetime. We set off again walking the streets of New York. We purchased some food from a sidewalk vendor and sat on a bench in the new Rockefeller Center to eat.

My nerves had finally recovered, but now my feet were starting to get really sore. "What do you want to do next?" Jack asked, "We could go down to Chinatown or we might find Carnegie Hall?"

A funny thing had happened at some point. It crept up on me so slowly that I wasn't even aware of it. Suddenly, I had no more interest in sightseeing. There was one sight that I wanted to see, but it didn't involve any more buildings. "I was thinking", I began hesitantly, "I'm starting to get a little tired. Maybe I'd like to take that little nap now."

My face must have been beaming bright red! Jack looked confused for a moment and then understanding dawned on him. His eyes widened and he asked, "Really?"

I nodded my head shyly. Jack quickly grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet. "Well, in that case Mrs. Hawthorne, we had better make sure that you get all the rest that you need!"

It was the most scandalous conversation that I had ever had, but I willingly let Jack lead me back through the maze of people and streets to the Grant Hotel. It felt so deliciously wicked to be rushing back so openly eager to do what we knew we were going to do and nobody around us had the slightest clue. 

When we arrived at the hotel we bounded up the stairs like a couple of lunatics. As we reached the first landing that was out of sight of the lobby, Jack suddenly stopped and took me in his arms. I didn't resist one bit as he gave me the biggest kiss that any girl could ever want. Holding me tightly, I could feel his excitement pressing lewdly against me. This should have made me embarrassed, but instead it had the opposite effect -- I was on fire with desire!

We went up the rest of the way with our arms around each other as we exchanged kiss after kiss. We giggled as we stumbled through the door that led to our hallway and almost ran to our door. When we arrived at the door, Jack had the most difficult time fishing out our room key and getting the lock opened. I should take some credit for that, as I was eagerly brushing myself against his arm while he was struggling.

The door finally burst open and we rushed through. We immediately fell into each other's arms and were kissing like there was no tomorrow. I had never felt such desire in my entire life and I didn't care if I was exactly acting like the proper wife or not. Our fingers franticly fumbled with the buttons of each other's clothes while our lips were pressed together hungrily.

I had always imagined love making to be a beautifully tender activity. This was anything but that. The sounds of our moans and heavy breathing filled the room as our clothing tumbled all around us. My hair got yanked as Jack hastily lifted my slip up over my head, but that did nothing to dampen the lust that raged inside me. I ran my hands up under his t-shirt, so eager was I to feel Jack's warm flesh right away. I couldn't push the undergarment all the way up and off because his arms were too eagerly reaching behind me to unclasp my bra.

With those items of clothing discarded, I sat back down on the bed and rolled onto my back -- lifting my hips to strip away my panties. I sat back up as Jack made quick work of removing his belt and opening his pants. His raging hot member was only inches from my face as his trousers and boxers slid to the floor. My heart beat even faster as I feasted my eyes upon his hardness.

As he straightened back up I boldly reached out my hands to grasp his hips. Jack stepped forward and I buried my face against his midriff and kissed his flat stomach. His musky aroma filled my senses and I heard his sharp intake of air. His manhood pressed hotly against my neck as I nuzzled him. "Oh God, Peg", he murmured as his fingers threaded through my hair.

I knew that there were girls that would take a man inside their mouths. Growing up, there had been a nasty name that was used to refer to those kinds of girls and it was about the worst thing in the world that you could say about anyone. It was an activity that I never would have dreamed of performing. Yet as my husband stood swaying over me in that moment I had a mental image of taking him in my mouth right there.

I kissed around in circles, allowing his red hot shaft to actually rub against my cheek as if by accident. I must admit that it did feel deliciously naughty and I felt a shudder run through Jack. However, I couldn't bring myself to take that last step and carry through with it. Somewhere in my fevered brain a little voice was telling me that he would think I was some kind of whore for doing that and he would never want to kiss me again.

Stop your smirking! I was very young then and I guess you might say that I had a lot to learn.

At last, Jack could take no more and he eased me backwards by the shoulders. I scrambled up onto the bed and held my arms out to him as he kicked off his pants and climbed onto the mattress with me. He didn't even bother to remove his socks and shoes! Our lips came together in the hungriest of kisses and we writhed against each other like two wild animals.

Our hands reached for each other's most private parts. This time there would be no pretense of being decent and proper. We both craved the pleasure that was so new to us. My hand wrapped around Jack's thick shaft and I could feel it throb with a life of its own. Meanwhile, his fingers eagerly sought out my moist entrance and slipped inside me.

Jack moaned against my lips, "Oh God, Peg...I want you so much!"

I whimpered back, "Yes, darling...I need you, too."

There was no more time for any talk as Jack moved into place above me. Once again I felt that delicious thrill as I opened my legs in welcome and I felt him enter me. This time there was no pain or discomfort at all. This time all I felt was the pleasure surging through my body as my husband sank deeper inside me. When he had plunged in to his full length, we ground our hips together and moaned our approval loudly.

Jack began to withdraw and surge and I wrapped my legs around his muscular thighs. I wasn't even aware of it, but I began whispering words of encouragement into his ear. "Yes, Jack...More...God....Yes!"

He began to quicken his pace. The bed was shaking and our moans filled the air. My fingernails bit into his broad back as I felt my orgasm rising within me. Over and over he plunged into my depths until I let out a small cry of ecstasy. I thrashed about wildly as I climaxed. Jack gave one final powerful thrust and then he too had his release. I buried my head into his shoulder and clung to him for dear life. I could feel his seed pumping into my womb -- flooding me with his essence.

We lay together in that position for who knows how long. We were sprawled sideways on the bed and we hadn't even had the decency to pull any covers over ourselves. We were both panting and our hearts beat like mad. I couldn't believe how out of control things had gotten. I worried that maybe Jack might think that his young and innocent wife wasn't so innocent after all.

At long last, Jack rolled off of on top of me and we scrambled to get ourselves under the covers. Just before he pulled the comforter over us I said, "Wait" and I moved down the bed to remove his shoes and socks. As I squatted by his feet I could feel his seed start to seep out of me. I tried to squeeze my legs together to prevent losing even one precious drop. Then I moved up to snuggle against my husband's shoulder.

I noticed that I wasn't nearly as sore as our first night together. "Maybe I'm getting used to this faster than I imagined I would", I thought. I knew one thing for certain, though -- I definitely wanted to do this together for the rest of our lives.

"You know something?", Jack asked.

I lifted my head to look at him and said, "No, what?"

"New York was certainly fun...but this was way better!"

I blushed as we both giggled together. He was right -- This was much better! We slept in each other's arms that night. Tomorrow would see us leaving by train to cross this big country. America was about to embark on a great enterprise and we were going to be swept up in it. For that night, however, we held each other and didn't concern ourselves with another living soul. 

(Coming next -- On to Fort Riley....and war) 



Confessions From An Affair Ch. 04



We awoke the next morning a little later than expected. We both wished that there had been enough time to make love again, but instead we had to hustle back down to Grand Central Station to catch our train west. The arrangements had been made by the Draft Board and Jack wasn't very anxious to explain to them why he had missed his train in New York City.

"I'd love to stay here a few more days and explore this whole big city with you, Peg," Jack said as he hoisted our suitcases.

"We'll have time to come back here again some day and we'll see everything there is to see, darling," I replied as I followed him out into the hallway.

You know something? Everything seems so easy when you're that young. I figured that we would have years and years to come back as often as we wanted. We never did return to New York.

Grand Central was crowded once again as we scrambled up the stairs towards the platform. Jack kept glancing back over his shoulder to make sure that I was still following him and I have to say that it was difficult indeed.

"We're almost there, Peg," he said over the noise of the crowd all around us.

Happily, we arrived in time and I was ever so glad for a chance to catch my breath. Now that I wasn't struggling to keep up, I was finally able to take a look around at the other passengers waiting on the platform.

I touched Jack's arm and said, "Look, Jack" as my eyes swept the gathering.

Jack looked puzzled and asked, "What is it?"

"Do you notice anything funny about the other passengers?" I asked him.

Jack looked around, but there was no dawning of what I was talking about. I let him look for a few moments more before I said, "They're all about our age. I bet that they are headed for Fort Riley, too."

It was true. There must have been over one hundred young men waiting on that platform and they all looked to be in their early twenties. Some had what I supposed were their wives with them. The vast majority did not. 

"Well, at least we'll have plenty of company on board for the next couple of days" Jack said as he finally saw what I was referring to.

Another much shorter young man turned to Jack and asked, "Are you going away for the army, too?"

Jack was a bit surprised to have a complete stranger addressing him, but he managed a smile and said, "Yes, we're going to Fort Riley."

The other young man went on, "This sure is something, isn't it? Lookit here --," and he held up a folded newspaper.

"The boys in the press did a story about us and everything. They're calling this The Uncle Sam Express."

Jack took the newspaper and held it down where I could see it, too. "Look, Peg. There's a whole story here about the train that the army arranged to take us out there. They're calling it a 'troop train'. Looks like we're famous already."

Our new companion gave Jack a good natured punch on the arm and said, "Just wait till we get our hands on those Japs. There'll be plenty of more headlines where that came from."

We were prevented from talking any further as the rumble of the massive train shook the station. Everywhere there was commotion as passengers quickly scooped up their belongings and pressed forward. I held onto Jack's arm tightly as the huge locomotive passed by carrying its passenger cars behind. Riding on a train would be another of those things that I had only seen in the movies and it felt so mysterious and romantic.

The train finally shuddered to a halt and we were shuttled forward with the rest of the crowd. I had a moment of panic as I got separated from Jack. Being barely five feet tall, I was engulfed by the other passengers and could not see over the top to pick him out of the crowd. A hand poked through the mass of bodies and Jack pulled me to him protectively.

"Look at that -- we've only been married for two days and you're already trying to run off on me," Jack joked.

We laughed and filed onto the train. Jack led us to some unoccupied seats and hoisted our one bag that we had with us up into the storage compartment overhead. I let him slide into the window seat because I knew that he loved watching the sights as they rolled by. This was it! We were finally on our way! 

"These seats are pretty hard," Jack said, "Think you'll be able to put up with it for two days?"

"I think that I'll be able to manage," I replied, "as long as you don't go off and leave me behind again."

It took about ten minutes for everyone to board the various cars and get settled in. The passenger in the seat in front of us twisted around and raised himself up to have a look at us. He extended his hand towards Jack. "Tony LaMotta, from Brooklyn," he said in his strange accent, "What part of the City are you from?"

Jack shook his hand and said, "I -- We're not. We're from Vermont."

"Vermont?," came the reply, "I didn't even know they had newspapers up there. I figured this whole thing would be over before word ever got to you guys up there."

There were snorts of laughter from all around us and we joined right in. Everywhere passengers were introducing themselves to each other. I must admit that in that much confusion, it was impossible to keep anybody's name straight, but it made us all feel like we were all on some great adventure together.

Tony turned to us once again. "Couple of rubes -- I betcha I know what you did last night."

I blushed, hoping that he didn't know everything that we did.

"Let me guess," he went on, "Time Square and The Empire State Building, am I right?"

Jack laughed and said, "You must've been following us."

Tony shook his head and replied, "Nah -- You hicks are all the same. That's the first place they all go. Next time yer here, I'm going to take you to Luigi's in Bensonhurst -- that's in Brooklyn. They got the best lasagna this side of Italy itself."

We smiled and Jack said, "You got a deal."

With that, the train lurched forward and we were on our way amid the shouts and applause of everyone on board. We settled in for the long journey and I had a chance to glance around the car at our fellow passengers. There were about forty riders in our car. I only saw four or five other women. I wondered if the other soldiers were all single or maybe their wives would be coming out later to join their husbands.

I had a sudden moment's panic and turned to Jack, "Are you sure that they said it was okay for you to bring your wife?"

Jack smiled and patted my hand. "I'm sure, dear."

In the seats directly across from us there was another young couple. I made brief eye contact with the woman, who was right about my age. I smiled because I could tell from the expression on her face that she was having the same kind of doubts that I was having. It sure made me feel good to know that I wasn't the only wondering if maybe I hadn't stumbled into some place that I didn't belong.

The journey continued without incident until we pulled into Philadelphia. There, at another massive platform, was another huge crowd of passengers waiting to board. The train rattled to a halt and the doors were thrown open. We were once again assault by the noise of crowds of young soldiers crushing forward to board the train.

"Hey," I heard someone call out, "who invited Philly? Don't they know this is a New York train?"

There were general chuckles all around. The stop was briefer this time and we were once again off westward. Someone from the rear of the car produced a deck of cards and a rather rowdy game of some sort ensued. Meanwhile, Jack and I contented ourselves with watching the scenery roll by.

After another little while we came to another stop. This station was unlike Grand Central or Philadelphia. This one was much smaller. There were just a few passengers waiting with the luggage, but there were quite a few other people standing by applauding as we pulled in. I noticed that someone was holding a big sign that said "Remember Pearl Harbor" and another one held one that said "We're all proud of you."

There was much hubbub as everyone got a look at the reception that had been staged just for us. All around our car the passengers scurried over to look out the side windows at the signs and people clapping.

Jack turned to me and said, "Looks like this is turning into some big deal, huh?"

As quickly as the commotion had started, the door slammed shut and we were moving again. Everywhere the conversations were about the welcoming committee that had been waiting at the last stop. There seemed to be a renewed enthusiasm in the air.

Things settled down after a little bit and I laid my head against Jack's shoulder. The gentle rocking of the train soon had me dozing off. I was awakened a while later to someone shouting. "Look at that!"

Everyone craned their necks around to look out the windows as we pulled into yet another small train station. This time there was a bigger crowd of people waiting on the platform. There were even more signs at this stop. Everyone quickly rushed over for a better look once again. Some of the passengers even waived to the crowd as if they were movies stars or royalty or something. It suddenly began to dawn on everyone that this was indeed starting to turn into a much bigger deal than any of us ever imagined. 

And, so it continued. The newspapers must have picked up the story about the troop train coming through and at each place that we stopped, the crowds awaiting our arrival grew and grew. By the time that we reached Pittsburg, there was barely enough room on the platform for all of the people to stand. They had festooned the station with ribbons and there was even a marching band playing "Stars and Stripes Forever."

"Holey Mackerel," someone shouted, "maybe Mr. Roosevelt himself is here!" 

It was silly, yes. But, don't you know that everyone took a closer look around to see if maybe it was true! Who knew? It certainly seemed possible at the time.

Nighttime began to fall. It had been a long and arduous day. About five o'clock a train porter had brought out a box of sandwiches for us to eat. They had thought to put on only one dining car and that had quickly been overrun with hungry passengers. It may not have been fine dining, but we dove into those sandwiches with gusto. 

From the seat in front of us we heard Tony muttering, "What? No capicola? They call this a sandwich?"

I had been dozing for a while when a sudden bump caused me to stir. It was fully night time now and the car was quiet except for a few snores here and there. I stretched -- trying to get some circulation back in my limbs. I happened to glance over at the other young couple sitting across the aisle from us.

The porters had passed out blankets earlier to us all and it looked like the young woman had her head laying against her husband's chest as she slept under the blanket. I was about to look away when something caught my eye. I strained my eyes for a better look.

Slowly -- almost imperceptively, I saw the blanket moving where it covered his lower body.

She couldn't be!

I tried not to be too obvious as I continued to watch from my seat across the aisle. It certainly was true! As my eyes became more adjust to the darkness, I could make out the shape of her arm under the blanket and she was definitely doing what I thought she was doing. Right there! In the middle of the passenger car with all of those people all around!

I knew that what I was doing was impolite and that I really should have allowed them their privacy, but it was if I couldn't tear my eyes away. I had never seen anybody do anything more than kissing in public -- and even then it was only a quick peck on the lips or cheek. 

Nobody else on the car seemed to have taken any notice. They continued on with their intimate activity oblivious to the fact that I was watching them. I thought that what I was doing must surely be a sin and that I would be punished for my wickedness if I didn't stop it at once.

Well, I'm not exactly proud of it, but I didn't stop. I watched as the movements beneath the blanket began to speed up. Suddenly, he stuffed his hand, which had been filled with the napkins from our lunch, beneath the blanket and I saw him lift almost entirely off of the seat. I heard them each give a small giggle and then they were kissing tenderly.

I did finally look away. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. The fresh image of what they had just done, along with the gentle swaying and steady vibrations made by the car as it passed over the tracks had awakened my body completely. I was suddenly all too aware that this was the first night that Jack and I had not made love since we were married.

I wrapped my blanket about me and laid my head against Jack's chest -- not so much for comfort, but just out of the urge to feel his body against mine. I wished that he would wake up and kiss me, but Jack slept soundlessly as we rolled along. At some point, I managed to fall asleep as well.

I don't think that I was out very long. It was still dark inside the car and not a soul was stirring. As my eyes slowly opened, I could make out the sight of Jack's hand in his lap. I gave no indication that I was awake -- I just watched as his hand very slowly moved over the bulge that was straining the fabric of his trousers.

Evidently, I wasn't the only one who was missing our new found pleasures of the flesh! I remained motionless, pretending to still be asleep. I could hear Jack's heart thumping loudly in his chest as my head laid against him. I felt so sorry that my new husband was so obviously in need and there was nothing that I could do for him.

After a few moments, I began to wonder if maybe there was something that I could do. I couldn't believe that I was even thinking such a thing. 

"Mary Margaret Hawthorne," I thought to myself, "you are turning into quite the little vixen!"

I took a deep breath and moved my arm and the blanket so that it draped across Jack's lap. He gave a small jump when it became apparent that I was indeed awake and he started to whisper, "Peg -- I wasn't doing anything..."

I turned my face up towards his and very quietly said, "Shhh."

With my heart pounding in my chest, I slowly lowered my hand until it now covered the bulge in Jack's pants.

He leaned down quite suddenly, grabbed my hand through the blanket, and whispered. "Peg, what are you --" 

But I again looked into his eyes and said, "Shhhh...Let me."

For a moment I thought that maybe I had gone too far and that Jack would be angry that I was acting like this. He might wonder what kind of tramp he had married after all. Slowly, he moved his hand away and settled back down.

Up and down the length of his bulge my fingers moved. I could feel Jack twisting his head around to see if anyone else could see what we were doing. He must have been satisfied because he never made another move to stop me. In fact, he began to slowly lift his hips against my touch.

My fingers fumbled in the darkness to find the tab of his zipper. I pulled it down gently. I was so sure that the noise that it made must have been clearly audible to everyone in the car and I waited a moment without moving at all until I was sure that the coast was still clear.

I reached my hand inside the fly of his trousers and felt him through the thin material of his boxers. As I did, Jack leaned down and kissed the top of my head. I then reached inside the fly of his boxers.

This is where it became more difficult than I had anticipated. With Jack's member at full attention, it wasn't exactly an easy chore to pull it through the small opening. I pulled hard in an effort to free him and I felt Jack give a small jump in pain. What was I going to do? There was no way I could get it to bend enough to go through that small hole.

Jack reached his hand beneath the blanket and twisted his hips around slightly. Somehow, he managed to free himself and I held his thick shaft in my hand at last. What a naughty girl I had become!

Jack removed his hand and then I remembered one more small detail. I pulled my hand out from beneath the blanket and grabbed a couple of napkins that were stuffed between his seat and the train wall. I pressed the napkins into his hand and he looked at me with a puzzled expression. 

The light must have gone on in his head because he finally gave me a nod. I snuck my hand back below the blanket and found my prize. I remembered to grip him low on the shaft and I began to slowly stroke up and down his length. I figured that I must have been doing it right when I heard a low moan rumbling through his chest. 

I tried to be as quiet as I could while I pleasured my husband. I wondered if maybe our neighbors from across the aisle could see what we were doing and it secretly added to the thrill of the whole thing. 

I kept up a steady rhythm as we sped along those tracks in the dark. All around us were our fellow passengers -- with no idea whatsoever of what we were doing. My arm began to tire, so I sped up my movements. I could feel Jack's chest rising and falling from his heavy breathing.

Finally, Jack reached his hand with the napkins under the blanket. I never missed a beat as I felt his shaft throb in my hand. Suddenly, I felt his body stiffen and a muffled moan escaped his lips.

He covered the head of his member with the wadded up napkins just in time as his release came. I still kept my hand moving -- only slower now as spurt after spurt of his seed came forth. There must have been too much for the napkins to hold because I could feel some of his discharge on my hand as I held him. I turned my face up towards his and we kissed tenderly. I was so happy that I had been able to do this for my husband.

Jack stuffed the wet napkins into his pocket and whispered, "I'll be right back."

He started to rise from his seat until he realized that he was still exposed. I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud. He stopped and made a few adjustments. Then he rose and headed towards the bathroom.

While he was gone I slipped my hand out from beneath the blanket and looked at the wet spot that he had left on the back of my fingers. I sniffed at it and was greeted by an exotic, slightly salty aroma. As shocking as this was -- I couldn't believe what I did next.

After taking a look to make sure that nobody was watching, I lifted my fingers to my lips. I stuck out the tip of my tongue tentatively and tasted his issue. I felt a shudder run through me as I tasted a man's seed for the first time. Before I even knew what I was doing, I was eagerly lapping up the rest of the wetness.

"What could I do" I thought to myself, "I couldn't very well wipe it on the seat for everyone to see."

A few minutes later, Jack made his way back from the bathroom. That silly fool! I don't think you could have wiped that grin off of his face with a wire brush. In any event, he certainly looked much more relaxed now and that made me feel good. We settled back down and even managed to get a little more sleep before morning came.

The following day was pretty much a rerun of the first. Each stop along the way saw us take on a few more passengers and there were always crowds of people waving banners and cheering us on. Everyone was starting to get a bit restless on the train. 

Just when we thought we wouldn't be able to take it anymore, we arrived in Manhattan, Kansas. This is where we would be getting off. The army had arranged for busses to meet us and transport everyone to Fort Riley. A cheer swept through the train at the announcement that we were finally there.

I heard someone sneer from the back of the car, "Getta load at what these rubes call Manhattan!"

This elicited quite a laugh because this place resembled Loon Lake much more than the metropolis we had left behind. There were groans all around as everyone got up and stretched for the first time in two days. The train station in Manhattan was too small to accommodate the long train that we were on. We pulled up short of the platform and we had to get off and walk the rest of the way to the station.




Confessions From An Affair Ch. 04



"Well, I guess we're in the army now," I heard someone mumble.

We trudged past a large group of well-wishers and made our way unto the busses. I wonder if all of those people who had come out to greet us at each stop along the way had any idea how special that made us feel? We were, after all, just a bunch of dumb and nervous kids. We had no idea of what we were about to face. Yet, those crowds made us feel like we were indeed a part of something much bigger. I only wish that there were some small way that we could let them know just how important that was to us at the time.

Without any further fanfare, the busses roared to life and we were off on the final leg of our journey. The days and years ahead would hold moments of joy and pain the like of which we never dreamed. But, at that moment we couldn't wait to get to Fort Riley and see what adventures awaited us there.

(Next -- Settling in at Fort Riley)



Confessions From An Affair Ch. 05



(The year is 1941 as our newlyweds arrive at Fort Riley where Jack will begin his basic training in the army)

*

The dirty old busses carried us away from the train station, across vast wheat fields that seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see. The view of the countryside was not anything unusual for Jack and me. However, the passengers from the big cities like New York and Philadelphia looked upon it with wonder. 

Jack nudged me with his elbow and whispered quietly, "Look at who the rubes are now."

I smiled and fought back a giggle as I remembered how we must have looked when we were first arriving in New York City. All around us the other passengers were making derisive comments.

"Geez! You gotta be kiddin me"

"Doesn't nobody live here?"

"Maron! Whatta we supposta do out here?"

I noticed that the lightheartedness that had been on display during the train ride was disappearing, the closer we got to our final destination. I glanced at Jack and noticed that he too was staring intently out of the front window of the bus -- as if he could somehow develop super seeing powers like those characters in the comic books that my brothers were always reading.

I reached over and held his hand and waited for him to turn and look at me.

"This will be our first home together," I said, "Isn't this exciting?"

Jack smiled and seemed to relax just a bit, "I'm looking forward to it too, Honey. I just wish we would hurry up and get there already."

At long last, our bus entered through a large gated fence and continued on for perhaps another half a mile. We came to a halt in line with the other seven busses that had made the journey with us and we all filed out to get our first glimpse of what would be our new home.

"Is it too late to go back to Queens?" someone joked and there were snorts of laughter all around.

The laughter was cut short presently, as a jeep slid to a stop on the dusty road right before us. Four soldiers wearing khaki uniforms climbed out of the jeep and one of them called out, "Alright! All you men -- fall in line right here."

Jack gave me one last glance, then released my hand and moved into position with the other men. As soon as he took his hand away, I suddenly felt all alone. This was becoming real much faster than I had imagined.

Another of the soldiers from the jeep approached us and said, "Will all of you ladies please gather your things and board this bus over here?"

We did as we were told and the other two soldiers that had come to greet us helped to load our belongings onto the bus. We all found seats on the bus. The soldier that had addressed us climbed onboard as well.

"My name is Lt. Daniels," he said, "I'm here to take you to your quarters and give you a quick tour of the facilities.

"Don't worry about the rest of your luggage. The busses will meet us when we reach our destination."

I turned to look out the window and -- sure enough, the other busses were pulling out. "How were the men supposed to get to our new homes?" I wondered.

There was no time to figure it out, as our bus roared to life and we were off once again. All around the bus necks were craned to catch one more glimpse of our husbands before we left them behind.

The first part of our trip was completely silent except for the loud noise of the bus engine. I looked around and counted thirteen other women besides myself. The young lady seated next to me was a tiny little thing. Her hands was clenched in fists in her lap so tightly that her knuckles were turning white. She had jet black hair and very dark eyes that looked as if they wanted to spill tears.

I was feeling very much the same way inside, but I waited until I caught her eye and told her, "Everything's going to be alright. You just wait and see."

She looked at me hopefully and said, "Do you think so? I've never been away from home before."

I wondered how many of the other girls were in the same boat. I managed a smile and a nod, "I'm sure the army is going to take good care of us."

Lt. Daniels Pointed out, "To the left you will see a brand new hospital which is almost finished and just up ahead is the Commissary where you will be able to get your groceries."

I smiled to myself at the sudden memory of my father always referring to Johnson's Market back home as The Commissary. When I was little I had always wondered where that bazaar word had come from. Now, I knew it must have come from the days when he was in the service, himself.

We continued our tour and the Lieutenant pointed out various other places of interest. All around the base you could see construction going on as buildings were hastily being thrown up to accommodate the swarms of new arrivals that were pouring in everyday. Lt. Daniels would point to a building that was barely begun and inform us, "This is the Post Office," as if it were a completely functioning operation already.

When they let us off of the bus to have a better look around, one of the other wives said to me, "You had better not stand in one place too long. They may build something right over the top of you."

I was to learn later that Fort Riley had been around since the days of the Indian Wars. However, looking around at all of the construction that was taking place, you were struck with the notion that, up until a week ago, none of this had ever existed -- that it was being built just for us.

"I think you're right," I replied, "Maybe Rome would have been built in a day if the U.S. Army had been in charge."

The tour was enlightening, but all around me I kept hearing whispers from the others women about when we were going to see our new homes.

"I hope it's a big house"

"Let's get on with it, already"

"Do you think we'll be near each other?"

I don't think that my expectation were quite as high as the others. My father had warned me about army housing. I knew we weren't going to moving into some big old farm house like we had back home.

My suspicions were confirmed a short while later when the bus came to a stop in front of several rows of long, narrow buildings. They looked a lot like cheap motels that you might see along the interstate nowadays. Just like everywhere else on the base, there was still construction going on here, too. Building materials and tools lay scattered everywhere.

"You've got to be kidding me."

This is it?"

"Oh, Lord"

It seems that far too many of the women had been expecting way more than they were now seeing. Lt. Daniels was leading the way towards the first of the buildings, but most of the women held back. Maybe they thought that if they didn't follow, they would instead be taken to some finer accommodations. 

Three or four of us weren't so disillusioned. We followed the Lieutenant -- eagerly looking forward to seeing what our new homes were going to look like. I certainly hadn't seen anything to dampen my spirits. It may not have been the home you always dreamed of, but it was still going to be ours.

Lt. Daniels motioned to the stragglers, "Ladies -- if you would?"

The rest of the group reluctantly joined us and we were shown into the first home. The entryway opened into a small living room. The walls were all white and still smelled of fresh paint. There was no furniture in the room, so at least it appeared to be slightly more roomy than it would eventually become.

Off of the living room was a small kitchen. I thought to myself that it sure would be cramped by the time we moved a table in there. Some of the other girls busied themselves with opening the cupboards and trying the spigot on the sink.

"Well, at least we have some running water," someone said.

We all filed back into the living room and were shown down a short hallway. On one side of the hallway were a closet and one large bedroom. The other side of the hall contained a bathroom and one smaller bedroom. I smiled to myself while viewing the small bedroom.

"This will make a wonderful room for our babies," I thought to myself.

Like the living room, the walls throughout the entire home were uniformly white. "Looks like the army must have found a good sale on white paint," remarked one of the tour members.

Lt. Daniels announced, "Ladies -- See Sergeant Richards outside. He will issue your keys to you."

He was immediately bombarded with questions from everyone.

"What about furniture?"

"When will our husbands be getting here?"

"How do we get everything moved in?"

The officer held up his hands to silence us and said, "Furniture should be arriving at 1500 hours," he paused, then said, "That's three o'clock for you civilians. The soldiers should be joining you shortly. In the meantime, the other busses have arrived and you can move your luggage into your quarters. Sergeant Richards will be here to assist you with any other questions."

With that, he straightened up to attention and saluted us, "The U.S. Army welcomes you to Fort Riley." He then spun on his heels and departed, leaving all of us women speechless.

There was a moment where we all looked at each other uncertainly. Then we scrambled outside to get our keys. As we rushed towards who we assumed to be Sergeant Richards, I felt a small tug on the back of my blouse. I turned to find the young woman that had been seated next to me on the bus pinching the material of my blouse between her little fingers. She quickly pulled her hand away as soon as she realized that I saw what she was doing.

"I'm sorry," she said sheepishly, "I was only hoping that we might live next to each other."

These were the only words that I had heard her utter since our brief exchange on the bus. She looked so lost and frightened. I couldn't help but like her immediately.

"Sure," I said while taking her hand in mine with a smile, "I'd like that, too."

With that, we both took our place in line. Sergeant Richards was methodically passing out keys and recording each person's name.

I turned to my new friend and extended my hand, "I'm Margaret Hawthorne. Everybody calls me Peg."

She looked up at me with those coal black eyes and replied meekly, "Maria -- Maria Gonzales."

"It's nice to meet you, Maria," I said, "Where are your from?"

"The Bronx," she answered, "But originally from Puerto Rico."

I had never met anyone from anyplace but Vermont in my whole life. I smiled at her and told her where Jack and I had come from. There was no more time for any further conversation because Sergeant Richards was handing me my key and asking for all of my information.

I stepped aside and waited while Maria went through the same process. She kept glancing over as if to make sure that I was still there. I looked down at the key in my hand and it suddenly hit me -- This was the key to our very first home!

When Maria had completed giving the sergeant her information, we turned and went in search of our places. Sure enough, they were right next door to each other. We each split up to go to our own doors.

"I'll be right next door if you need anything, Maria," I called over.

She gave me that uncertain smile of hers and nodded. I placed the key in the lock and went inside. This apartment was exactly like the one that we had been shown -- right down to the solid white walls. I closed the door and leaned my back against it. I was beaming with pleasure as I looked about. This was it! This was our first home!

I walked all through the place just to satisfy myself that nothing major was missing and then I went out to retrieve the small bag that I had brought on the bus. After depositing that inside the apartment, I went in search of our other luggage.

Several soldiers were busy unloading the baggage compartments of the other busses and making one big pile. There were a few complaints from some of the girls, but we all set about sorting through the mountain and trying our best to drag the heavy bags to our homes. As I strained to carry just one of our huge suitcases, I felt sorry that I had made Jack carry everything all by himself up until now.

It took a while, but I managed to get both of our bags into the apartment. In one of the cases, my mother had carefully wrapped two dishes and some silverware. I carried them proudly to the kitchen and put them in the cupboard. Lord, I felt just like a queen!

We had also brought along some family photographs. I carefully unwrapped them from their newspaper padding and placed them on a couple of the window sills. Don't laugh, but I stood back and decided it didn't look right. So I tried them in several different locations. Just as I had then just right, there came the sound of someone calling out what sounded like marching orders.

I rushed to the window and peered out. There were all of the men that had arrived together at the base marching in formation. Somewhere along the way they had been given uniforms to wear and they looked so grand! I, along with all of the other wives, rushed outside immediately.

The officer that had been calling out the marching orders brought them to a halt. He then saluted and barked out, "Dis-Missed!"

Most of the soldiers in the formation approached Sergeant Richards to get their new keys. Our husbands headed towards us uncertainly until each picked out the sight of his own wife waving her arms and calling. Then they broke into a run towards us. Jack rushed up to me and swept me off of the ground in a big bear hug. When he set me down, I stepped back and brushed the front of his new uniform.

"Let me look at you," I said.

He stood up straight and exaggeratingly pushed his chest out. He sure did look handsome. You know what they say about a man in uniform?

"Look at you!" I exclaimed, "You look so good in that uniform."

"That's right ma'am. I'm genuine, grade-A Army now," he said. Then with a twinkle in his eye, "And if you think I look good in this uniform -- "

Jack made a sudden reach for me. I shrieked and batted his hands away playfully. He made another lunge and I turned and ran back towards our door laughing. Jack was right on my heels the whole way. As soon as we got through the door he swept me up into his arms again and kicked the door shut behind him. This time I didn't try to fight him off at all. I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kiss with passion.

One of his hands slipped down to my bottom and he pulled me against him. I could feel his excitement as we pressed our hips together. I could hear his breathing getting heavier and I have to admit that mine was as well.

I managed to pull my lips free for a second and gasped, "Jack...windows...no curtains".

He looked at me uncomprehendingly until I nodded with my head towards the windows and the group of his fellow soldiers who were still being issued their keys right outside. "Oh," he said as he finally realized what I was saying. That didn't deter him much. Jack picked me up easily and carried my down the hall -- checking to see which one was the bedroom. 

When he found the right door, he carried me through it and came to a stop. I think it might have just dawned on him in that instant that there wasn't a stick of furniture in the whole house. That wasn't going to stop Jack Hawthorne, though!

I felt his hands slip underneath the back of my blouse as he bent to kiss me once again. Before I new it, he had it pushed up to my shoulders and was fumbling with the catch to my bra.

"Jack...Jack!" I said in an attempt to stop him.

He looked at me again questioningly, "What, Peg?"

I didn't say anything. I just held my hand up and pointed towards the open window. I saw a look of such pure frustration pass over his face. I was sorry, too. It had been over forty-eight hours since the last time we had made love and Jack did look so scrumptious in that uniform!

"Hey," I whispered. I waited until he looked at me and then I took his hand. "Come with me."

I had to give his hand a tug to get him into motion. I led him across the hallway and into the bathroom. Jack looked at me quizzically.

"Look," I said as I pointed, "no windows."

Jack looked over at the frosted glass that served as a window and then he turned back to me with a smile.

"Mrs. Hawthorne, I love you!

From there, our raging hormones took over. Jack quickly ran his hands back up under the back of my blouse while my fingers busied themselves with the buttons of his new uniform shirt. He was much better this time. He got my bra undone in an instant and pushed my blouse and bra up over my head -- mussing my hair before letting it fall to the floor.

I got the last button undone on his shirt and he helped me shuck it from his shoulders. Before he even had it halfway off, I was already raising his t-shirt and exposing his body. The sounds of our heavy breathing echoed off of the walls in that small room as we each reached for the others belts. While our hands were flying to undo each others pants, our feet were busy kicking off our shoes.

In just a few short moments we were struggling out of our pants and coming together for another deep, passionate kiss. It felt so wonderful to feel Jack's skin against mine once again. Our hands roughly pulled our bodies together. The feeling of my breasts being squashed against his chest was driving me insane as our hips ground against each others.

There was an awkward moment as we looked around each other.

What do we do?

It had been my idea to come in here, but now we were faced with the realization that this cramped bathroom left very little room to do what we had come in here for. There wasn't enough room to lie down on the floor and we hadn't had time for much experimentation with other positions since we got married.

For the moment though, we were content to just kiss and grind against each other. Our hands eagerly explored each other and that was bringing us each a lot of pleasure all by itself. I leaned back against the door as Jack's hand went between my slightly spread thighs. I moaned as I felt his finger easily slip inside my moist entrance.

For my part -- I had both of my hands wrapped tightly around Jack's thick shaft. He felt so warm and powerful in my grip as I slowly stroked his entire length. I let one hand fall to tenderly cup his swollen balls and heard him moan deep in his chest. I could feel his first drops of seed forming at the tip. These were quickly smeared against both of our bodies.

Just when I thought we were going to have to satisfy each other in this manner, Jack removed his hand from where he was making me feel so nice. He placed his hands around my waist and gently turned me so that I was facing the door. I felt so naughty with my bottom facing him like that, but my thoughts were cut off as he moved his hand back into place -- only this time from behind.

I wasn't sure what I was expected to do. Jack's fingers probed a couple of times until they once again found their way inside me. I closed my eyes and placed my hands against the cool surface of the door for support. He wrapped his other am around me and I felt his big hand cup my breast. I wasn't sure what was happening, but it sure felt so wonderful!

After a moment or two I started to rock my hips against his hand as he pleasured me down below. I could feel an orgasm gathering steam inside me. The next thing that I felt was Jack's foot gently urging my feet farther apart. I happily obliged him and his finger was able to sink even further inside me -- causing me to moan loudly.

Higher and higher the feelings inside me rose. I knew I was only an instant away from my release when Jack removed his hands from where he were making me feel so good. Before my mind could grasp what he was up to, I felt Jack guiding his engorged, hot member between my legs.

I had no idea how he was going to do this, but I leaned forward as much as I could to help him in any way that I could. He probed a couple of times, except his angle was all wrong and he couldn't get in. I felt him shifting around behind me and he tried once more. The places that his member was hitting did feel really nice. All of a sudden I wanted him to succeed more than anything in the world. I wanted to feel him inside me.




Confessions From An Affair Ch. 05



I lowered one of my hands from the door and reached down between my legs. I tried to push on the head with my fingers to get it to go into the right place, but it still didn't work. Desperate, I used my fingers to spread my opening as wide as I could and Jack probed one more time. This time I could feel the warm head push just inside of me. Jack must have been able to tell that he still wasn't at the perfect angle because I felt him shift once again.

The next time he thrust forward, I could feel him slide deeper inside me. We both let loose with deep moans as we began to make love in this alien position. Jack's strong hands gripped my waist and he penetrated deeper with each forward plunge. I had to put my hands back up on the door for support because my legs felt like they had turned to jelly.

After a few moments of this gentle thrusting, I could feel Jack's hands tighten around my waist. He began to push a little harder. At the same time he used his hands to draw me back against him. The heights of orgasm that I had been at earlier came rushing back. Without even realizing it, I had begun to use my own hands to push against the door -- forcing my body to thrust back against my husband even harder.

My orgasm came just when I thought that I wouldn't be able to stand it for one moment longer. Jack instinctively wrapped his arms around me. If he hadn't, I surely would have collapsed in a dizzy heap. He held me with his strong arms as my body quaked and shivered.Waves of pleasure washed over me.

As my body began to recover, Jack began to move inside me once again. I braced my hands against the door as he quickly built up to powerfully thrusting into me once again. My hair had fallen forward over my face and I knew that I must look a mess. Jack surprised me when he leaned forward across my back and I felt his mouth on my shoulder. What started as a kiss on my shoulder turned into a bite as I felt his teeth against my skin. You might think that sounds a little funny, but I thought it felt awfully nice at the time.

Jack's arms tightened around me and he plunged full length inside me. I took one hand down from the wall and reached back to hold his head against the back of my shoulder as I felt him explode deep inside me. His cries were muffled against my shoulder and I could feel his seed erupting over and over in my depths.

He held me in this same position after he had finished. I could feel his seed leaking out of me almost immediately and thought to myself that this sure was a fun position, but it wasn't the best way to make babies. Finally, Jack let himself slip from inside me and he spun me around to face him. Our arms went around each other instantly and we enjoyed a deep passionate kiss.

I could have stayed there like that all day. Unfortunately, the moment was interrupted by a lot of noise and commotion outside. Without thinking, Jack moved me aside and opened the bathroom door to see what was going on. I shrieked and held my hands up in an attempt to cover myself.

Jack stooped down and picked his clothes up from the floor and slipped out of the door while holding the clothes in front of him. I looked around and noticed that we didn't even have any toilet paper yet. Instead, I picked up my panties and tried to clean myself up as best I could.

I jumped as Jack came back and threw the door open, shouting, "The furniture is here!"

I immediately jumped inside the tub and pulled the shower curtain closed and shouted back, "Will you please shut the door?"

Jack gave me a quick sheepish look, "Oh...Sorry." Then he was gone.

I waited until I was fairly certain that he wasn't going to come back and put me on display again. When he didn't, I climbed out of the tub and got dressed -- only this time I didn't have any panties to put on. I knew that the decent thing to do would have been to go into the bedroom and get a fresh pair to put on, but I was excited to see what goodies were being delivered to us. I did my best to straighten my hair and look presentable. In the end, I just shrugged at my reflection and headed outside.

I was greeted with the sight of a whole squadron of huge trucks. The backdoors of some had been thrown open and I could see all kinds of furniture stacked inside. Out of some of the other trucks piled dozens of soldiers. Evidently, they had been sent to help carry everything inside the new homes.

I stood aside as Jack and a couple of the soldiers carried our new belongings inside. Each apartment was supplied with a sofa, chair, coffee table, and lamp for the living room. Each kitchen was outfitted with a table and three chairs. Our bedroom furniture consisted of a bed, dresser, and a nightstand.

As Jack lent his hand to helping carry furniture in for the other families, I busied myself by digging through our bags to find the sheets and the blankets that we had packed. I made the bed and put away our clothes in the dresser. Then I stood back and smiled. It was starting to look like a real home.

When Jack finally returned, he looked around approvingly and said, "Peg, You are so organized that maybe the army should have taken you, too."

We went off in search of the Base Exchange so that we could buy some of the other essentials that you need in order to run a home. We made a list that included pillows, toilet paper, and most importantly, curtains. Along the way Jack filled me in on what they had been told while they had been separated from us.

"In two days I will be moved into different barracks while they put us through our basic training," he said, "The training will last twelve weeks and during that time I have to stay at the barracks. We won't be able to see each other until it's all over." 

This didn't come as a surprise to either of us. The draft board had given us all of this information in advance. Twelve weeks was certainly a long time, but it was just something that we would have to get through.

"The Lieutenant said that there was a possibility that we might get a weekend furlough somewhere along the way if our unit performs well," he continued.

"Well, you make sure that you do everything that you're supposed to," I replied, "Remember, you have a wife at home that needs her husband."

Jack raised his eyebrows at my statement and gave me a leer. My face went beet red! I hadn't meant it in that way. I gave him a playful slap across the arm, "You're a beast!" I scolded him while trying to suppress a giggle.

We brought our purchases home and then we went off to the commissary to get some food to stock our kitchen. We didn't have a lot of money, but thankfully the prices were really cheap in both places.

That evening I cooked our first home meal with pork chops, green beans, and mashed potatoes. Jack ate with gusto and I was very relieved. Thankfully, Having grown up in a household where I was the only daughter meant that I had plenty of practice in cooking meals.

After dinner Jack went outside and visited with some of his new army buddies while I busied myself with cleaning up the kitchen. When I had finished, I went into the bedroom to see what I could do about hanging the curtains. Our little fun and games in the bathroom earlier had been really nice, but I was hoping that those sort of activities might move to our bedroom tonight.

I may have learned a thing or two about cooking while growing up, but I sure hadn't learned much about simple home building projects. I settled with putting the curtains up with thumb tacks. It didn't look too great, but at least they were in place and would keep any prying eyes out. I only hoped that they wouldn't fall down at some very inopportune moment.

As darkness began to descend, Jack came back inside and I heard him call for me. I didn't respond and waited for him to come in search of me. When he opened the door to our bedroom he was greeted by the sight of me completely naked and waiting for him in bed I had the covers turned down on his side of the bed and I laid there wantonly exposed for his eyes.

I'll never forget that look of surprise that he had in his eyes when he saw me. He tore his shirt off over his head and started towards me while undoing his pants. As he let the pants fall, they bunched around his ankles. He tripped and fell forwards landing half on and half off the bed!

Jack landed in a heap and slid to the floor. I started to laugh, but my merriment was cut short when I noticed that he wasn't moving.

"Jack?" I said.

There was still no movement. I quickly scrambled out of the bed and knelt down beside his body as it lay slumped against the side of the bed. All thoughts of laughter vanished immediately. I was now downright scared!

"Jack?" I repeated.

I took his face in my hands and turned it to face me. His eyes were closed and he still wasn't moving. For some strange reason I did like I always saw them do in the movies -- I lifted his eyelid and looked at his eyeball intently.

What was I going to do?

All of a sudden, Jack opened his eyes and swiftly grabbed me about the waist.

"Ha! Gotchya now!" he growled and pulled me onto his lap.

I was furious with him for scaring me like that. I pounded on his shoulders with my tiny fists. I don't think it fazed him very much because he was still laughing uproariously at me.

"You creep!" I shrieked at him, "I thought you were really hurt!"

"Nothing hurt here except my dignity, ma'am," he said.

With the panic of the moment fading, I replayed the sight of him tripping over his pants in my mind. I started to laugh once again. I pounded him on the shoulders again anyways.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," I said through my laughter, "or else I'll make sure you have something to be in pain over."

"Okay, okay," Jack said as he chuckled too, "I promise that next time I will be sure to break at least three bones if it happens again."

"You had just better, buster," I told him and we both had a laugh.

As our laughter died away, I suddenly became very aware of how sexy it was to be straddling my half naked husband while not wearing a stitch of clothing myself. Jack must have been thinking the same thing because I could feel his member stirring beneath me.

I leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. I could feel his hands moving over my exposed back as our lips moved wetly against each others. Desire flooded through my body and I squirmed my hips around on his lap -- rubbing myself shamelessly against his hardness. Jack's hands moved down to my bare bottom and pulled me tighter to him.

Our breathing got heavier and we moaned against each others lips as the hunger built. I felt Jack reach his hand down between us. I scooted back a bit to give his hand room and he quickly freed himself from the confines of his boxers.

Just like earlier in the bathroom, I wasn't exactly sure of what to do. Luckily, Jack's strong hands grasped my waist and he lifted me effortlessly. He attempted to place me onto his stiffness, but couldn't quite manage this tricky maneuver. I quickly reached my own hand down to hold his shaft at a different angle and he tried again.

"No...Not there...No," I hissed hoarsely.

He moved me slightly backwards and tried again.

"Yes...There...Oh!" I cried.

Slowly I felt my body slide down his hard shaft as he filled me completely. I loved the feeling of his strong hands guiding me lower and I let out a long, loud moan. At last, I could feel us become completely joined. I sat motionlessly and savored the feeling of having my husband inside me once again. I leaned forward and we kissed passionately.

I felt Jack's hands urging my hips upwards once again. I tried to raise myself up as much as I could and then I sank back down on him again. My Lord, that felt so good! No sooner had I hit bottom again and he was lifting me once more.

After that, I didn't need his hands to coax me into any motion. I took over and rode him over and over. Jack lifted his hands and held my breasts while I made love to him on the floor of our bedroom. I could feel him straining to lift and meet my thrusts as his fingers rolled my sensitive nipples. The whole time, we moaned and grunted in the throes of passion.

I don't know how long we made love like this. I could feel my muscles beginning to tire. Still, I rose and sank on his magnificent hardness and I could feel an orgasm gathering strength inside me. Suddenly, Jack gave a powerful upwards thrust and I could feel him releasing inside me. As I felt his member throbbing and emptying, it triggered my own orgasm.

I lost all control of my muscles and let myself sink all of the way down on him. Jack used his hands to twist my hips back and forth while I let out a small scream at my release. I collapsed against his chest as my body shook as it was wracked with waves of pleasure.

Finally, we stopped all movement and waited for our heartbeats to return to earth. Jack waited until I looked him in the eye.

"Mrs. Hawthorne," he whispered tenderly, "You are just full of surprises."

I looked at him with love in my eyes. Then I reached up and tapped him on the tip of the nose with my finger.

"And don't you ever forget that, Mr. Hawthorne, "I replied.

Jack leaned me towards him and we kissed tenderly. I could feel his seed leaking out of me and I knew we were making a real mess. I climbed off of him and could feel my muscles protesting at the unaccustomed workout they had just be subjected to. I climbed onto the bed -- sliding beneath the covers.

As I saw Jack start to rise, I couldn't help myself, "Don't forget to take your pants all of the way off this time."

We both laughed and Jack slid into bed beside me. What a day it had been! We had discovered two new ways in which to make love and the night wasn't even half over!

We laid in bed in each others arms -- just cuddling quietly and enjoying the feeling of closeness that we both felt. I thought that I heard a noise and I lifted my head, trying to make out what it was. I heard it again and this time I could make it out quite clearly.

It was the sound of crying that I heard coming through the wall. My heart broke as I realized that it must be Maria. Jack looked at me puzzled, "what is it?" he asked.

I told him all about meeting Maria on the bus. I told him how she had seemed to be so lost and frightened. I even explained how she had practically begged me to keep near her in line so that we could live next to each other.

Jack listened intently. "I think that I met her husband. There was one Puerto Rican looking guy in our group. Roberto -- I think his name was. Didn't say much to anybody -- sorta alone and by himself most of the time."

"That poor thing, "I replied, "she was so tiny. I don't think she could have been a day over sixteen."

We laid there trying not to listen, but listening all the same. After a while the sound of the sobbing stopped and I was grateful for that. I snuggled against Jack's muscular shoulder and let my fingers idly trace across his broad chest. 

After a while, I heard another noise. I lifted my head again to see if I could make it out. It was quiet for a couple of minutes and then it began again. It was Maria -- only this time she most definitely wasn't crying. I realized that it was the sound of them making love.

I raised my hand to my mouth and looked at Jack with big eyes. I had never heard anybody else making love before. It suddenly hit me that I had better watch out how much noise I made if it was that easy to hear through the walls.

Jack suppressed a laugh and whispered, "Looks like everything worked out fine next door."

I slapped him on the arm and laid back down next to him. "We shouldn't be listening to this."

We once again laid there trying not to listen, but listening anyways. I have to admit that it was pretty erotic. Jack must have thought so too because it wasn't long before I could feel him stirring down below once again.

It wasn't long before we, too were making love again for the third time that day. This time there were no new positions to get ourselves into and when we reached the finish, not one drop of Jack's seed was wasted. He moved over the top of me and we made love in our very own marital bed for the first time.

How was I ever going to survive for twelve weeks without this wonderful man to share my bed every night?

(Please check back again soon as the story continues)



Confessions From An Affair Ch. 06



(It is 1942 and our newlyweds are at Fort Riley, Kansas where Jack is about to start his basic training)

*

"Oh!"

"Yes....there...!"

"Oh, God!"

My orgasm hit and I completely lost my capacity to speak any further. Not that my speech was anything close to intelligible up to that point anyways. My husband was over the top of me and we had been writhing against each other like animals in heat since shortly after his alarm clock went off at four-thirty that morning.

This was the morning that Jack was to report for the beginning of his basic training. We knew that this would be our last chance to make love for up to twelve weeks. There was a chance of a weekend furlough during the course of his training, but there certainly weren't any guarantees.

Twelve weeks!

How was I ever going to make it that long without him? It's funny -- we had been married for less than a week now. Up until that time we had been casual acquaintances at best. How had my life become so entwined with his in such a short time? 

A week ago I had been a perfectly happy young lady. I lived at home with my parents and I had a good job. My only worries were finding enough time to work and help out my mother around the house with cooking and cleaning while being tormented by my four brothers on a constant basis.

It was almost hard to recall that carefree girl, now. Now I was a wife whose husband would be leaving her for the next three months to become a soldier. And not just any soldier. A soldier in what was shaping up to be the biggest war this country had ever seen. I wished with all of my heart that we could somehow make time stand still. Let us just go enjoying the moment for a while before circumstances took control of our lives and pushed us to places that we didn't really want to go.

I lay back against the soft pillow while Jack raised his upper body. He looked down at me with such love and tenderness. A woman always wants to look her best for her husband, but at that moment my hair was plastered to my head and face and I knew I must look a mess. I didn't care, though. 

I looked back up at my husband -- with his muscles tensed up and his hair all unruly where I had been running my fingers through it. His eyes still had that wild lustful look to them and I could see him struggling to hold himself back so that I could fully enjoy my release. God! The things that man could do to me while making love! They just couldn't take that away from me, could they?

Before I had a chance to open my mouth to say anything to him, he whispered, "Peg, I love you so much. How did I live all of those years before I met you?"

I was so choked up that I couldn't speak for a moment. Instead I contracted my inner muscles around his manhood and watched his face. He gave a small wince and he closed his eyes. I repeated this action a couple of more times. I saw him wince again and bite his lower lip.

Seeing that he was truly enjoying this, I bent my knees and placed my feet flat against the bed. I put my hands against his lower ribcage to hold him in one place and I lifted my hips upwards -- taking him deeper inside me.

I sank back down flat on my back again and then repeated it. Jack let out a long moan of pleasure. I kept up my actions and made love to him from beneath. I knew he was very close and I wanted to give him as much pleasure as possible.

My hands moved up to trace the straining muscles of his chest and shoulders. Over and over I lifted and I could see his face contorting with the pleasure. I wanted to make him feel so good. 

His arms began to shake with the effort of holding himself up. I slipped my hands over his shoulders and urged him down over me. As he settled himself over me once again, he took control and started thrusting inside me.

He croaked, "Oh...Peg."

"I love you, darling," I cried.

Then he let loose with a deep groan and pushed deep inside me. I could feel his hot seed emptying into my womb. I put my arms around his neck and kissed his face all over as I felt his glorious release.

Soon afterwards, his lips found mine and we kissed tenderly. I wanted to hold onto him for as long as I possibly could and never let him go. However, the U.S. Army had other plans and I don't think they included us staying naked and making love twenty-four hours a day.

At long last, Jack raised himself up once again and said, "I don't want to, but I think I had better get going."

I grabbed him just as he started to pull away. "Promise me one thing?" I asked.

"What's that?" he replied as he looked down at me.

"Promise me that you will always love just as much as you do today," I said in a small voice.

"I can't do that, Peg," came his reply.

I froze as I stared up at his solemn expression. "Because I'm going to love you more and more everyday of our lives," he finished.

Then he leaned down and kissed me again. My heart was filled with so much love. I wished that we had the time for me to show him just how much. Unfortunately, he heaved himself up and was heading for the shower.

While he was getting himself ready, I went to the kitchen to make him some breakfast. That's something my mother instilled me in me from birth -- if you can't do anything else for someone, you can at least cook them a meal.

While Jack was eating, I busied myself with cleaning up. I was so upset with the prospect of him being gone for the next three months that I just couldn't talk. The whole time, he was going over everything for my benefit again.

"Sergeant Richards' phone number is written on that slip of paper underneath the phone. If you need anything, you just call him.

"If you can't get in touch with Sergeant Richards, contact Lieutenant Daniels. He's the one in charge of our group.

"I've left enough money to tide you over in the top drawer of the dresser."

There I was -- an emotional wreak and he was giving me a list of instructions! All I wanted him to do was to tell me how much he didn't want to go and how much he loved me and needed me.

Men! They always have to act like they can solve every problem by making lists. Why couldn't he see how much I was hurting inside? Why couldn't he tell me what he was feeling inside his heart? 

Well, I've been alive for eighty-four years now and I still haven't discovered the answer for that. I guess its just the way God made men and women. However, if you ask me, I think He definitely made a mistake when he made men like that.

Before you knew it, Jack was standing there in his neatly pressed uniform. He had his duffle bag slung over his shoulder as he headed towards the door. I followed close behind him with a lump in my throat. He turned as he got to the door and held his arms out for me. I stepped in close to hug him one last time.

"This is the hardest thing that I've ever done, Peg," he said, "I just want to stay here with you and never leave you."

I fought back my tears long enough to say, "I would love that, too."

I felt bad that I was making this so hard on him. I tried my hardest to show him a smile and I brushed at the front of his uniform.

"You had better get going now. I will be fine here until you get back," I told him.

Jack leaned down and gave me one last kiss and then he was gone. I stayed at the door and watched his broad back as he walked away from me. The apartment already seemed so much quieter. I looked down the row of our building and saw the same scenario being played out at each door.

The men all boarded their bus and it whisked them away. I closed the door and I couldn't think of what I was supposed to do next. In the end, I settled for going back to bed. Jack's scent still lingered there. It wasn't much, but it was going to have to be enough to last me until the next time that I saw him.

I could only lay there for so long feeling sorry for myself. At last, I got myself up and looked for things to do about the house. Since it was such a small apartment, there really wasn't much to keep me occupied. I decided that I would go out for a walk and do a little exploring. It's funny, but since we arrived here, I had spent almost all of my time in bed with Jack and I hadn't seen too much of what was to be our new home.

As I was leaving, I had a sudden thought and turned towards Maria's door. I thought that she could probably use something to keep her mind occupied as well. I knocked on her door and waited. I began to think that she wouldn't answer and was about to turn away when the door slowly opened a crack.

"Maria? It's Peggy from next door," I said, "I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk with me and have a look around.'

My tiny neighbor looked around nervously, but didn't answer right away.

I tried again, "Come on," I urged, "You can't stay cooped up in that apartment all day."

Slowly the door opened and she came outside to join me. I smiled at her and we began to walk off down the road.

"I don't think Roberto would like me going out without him," she said in her heavy Spanish accent, "Maybe I no tell him."

"That's right," I replied, "we girls can have our own little secrets, can't we?"

We both had a little laugh and the mood seemed to lighten. Maria turned out to be a really nice girl -- easy to talk with. I loved her accent so much. She always called me "Payjee" instead of "Peggy" and it made me smile every time.

We had been walking for a little while when we came to a corral where some mounted soldiers were putting their horses through their paces. 

"Look, Payjee!"' Maria said excitedly.

We walked over for a closer look. Being a country girl, I had grown up around horses and could watch them for hours. I don't think Maria had been exposed to them very much. She looked on wide-eyed.

When we arrived at the corral we could see that all of the riders were black. I hadn't expected this and was surprised.

Maria said, "They is soldiers, tambien?"

A soldier who was standing nearby answered for me, "That's right, ma'am. That there is the 10th Cavalry. They're the finest mounted cavalry unit in the U.S. Army."

We watched as the riders and horses rode by in formation. Suddenly the formation was broken and it seemed as if men and horses were flying every which way. As quickly as the formation had broken apart, it reformed and continued promenading around the ring. These men were indeed fine horsemen.

Maria spoke up, "Roberto say he in the cavalry, too."

I looked at her quizzically. Jack had never mentioned which particular unit he was assigned to. I wondered if he too would be in the cavalry. It sure would make a good fit for a country boy like him.

I said, "Maybe both of our husbands will be learning how to ride horses like this."

The soldier that had talked to us earlier spoke up once again, "No, Ma'am. The Army doesn't have much use for horses anymore. The cavalry that your husbands are in would be one of the tank companies. This here cavalry unit is one of the last of its kind, I'm afraid."

I looked at our new companion as he spoke. He was a little older than we were -- perhaps in his late twenties or early thirties. His skin was dark brown and quite weather-worn. You could tell that he had spent a great deal of time out of doors. He was muscular, but not in a bulky sort of way. Instead his muscles were long and loose. It was easy to picture him astride one of the magnificent horses that thundered past us.

He extended his hand. "I'm Sergeant Jackson, ma'am," he said, "and these here are my boys."

We introduced ourselves and then Sergeant Jackson swept his arm to indicate the other buildings in the vicinity. 

"All of these building you see used to be stables for all of the horses. Lately, they've been moving the horses out and turning the buildings into garages for the new tanks," he informed us, "We used to have the finest riding school in the whole world right here." 

I thought that I could detect a look of sadness sweep across his features.

"You think that you have it all," he finished, "But then someone goes and takes it all away."

We thanked the sergeant for being so helpful and told him how much we had enjoyed seeing his unit performing.

"You ladies are welcome back anytime," he said, "If there's anything we like more than riding, it's riding in front of an audience."

We took our leave and continued with our walk. Everywhere that we went there were always soldiers marching or running in formations. I saw Maria doing the same thing that I was -- watching each group as they passed to see if maybe our husbands were included in their number. Unfortunately, we never did catch a glimpse of them.

We eventually made our way back home again. I hadn't been aware of just how far we had walked, but now my legs were tired. I said goodbye to Maria and went inside. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I was once again aware of the deafening silence inside the apartment.

I again wondered how I was going to make it through the next three months. I had never been separated from my family or so far away from home. However, the time did pass. I found myself wandering back to the horse corral almost every day to watch Sergeant. Jackson's men practicing their complicated routines. 

Sometimes, Sergeant Jackson would come over to say hello. After a while I found myself seeking him out. His booming laugh never failed to cheer me up when I was feeling a little low. He was also very knowledgeable about the history of Fort Riley and the 10th Cavalry

"Sergeant. Jackson," I said to him one day, "I hope that you don't mind me coming by here every day. I wouldn't want to disturb your training."

"Oh, ma'am," he replied, "You don't have to worry about that none. These animals aren't much for conversation."

He waited a moment and then added, "And the horses don't talk much either."

His laughter rang out and I found myself laughing right along with him.

"And one other thing," he continued, "the name is Daniel. 'Sergeant. Jackson' makes me feel like an old man."

One day, Daniel showed me around the stables where they kept the horses. I think that I might have surprised him by not being put off by the strong odor that the animals gave off. In fact, as we were looking at one of the horses, I picked up a brush and started to run it over its coat.

"Looks like you've been around a horse or two in your time," he said.

"Well, I'm not as much of an expert as you are, but I've spent some time around barns," I replied.

After that it became part of my routine to help in caring for the horses. It may not have been the most glamorous job in the world, but it made me a little less homesick and helped to pass the time.

It had now been more than a month since Jack had left for his basic training. One day I could hear some of the girls outside talking. I wasn't feeling too well lately and I thought maybe they could take my mind off of how nauseous I was. I wandered out and introductions were made all around.

There was Miranda and Millie from New York, Phyllis from Philadelphia, and Mona from Pittsburg. They were sitting in kitchen chairs that they had dragged outside and they were drinking beer while they talked. They offered me one, but I declined since I wasn't much of a drinker. I did see quite a few empties laying about, so evidently I was alone in abstaining.

The other girls were all bemoaning the fact that there was so little to do at Fort Riley. The two New Yorkers were both very brash and outspoken. They had the rest of us in stitches with their wild sense of humor.

Several beers later, Miranda said, "If they don't let that husband of mine come home soon, I am going to climb the walls."

The four of them clinked their bottle together and laughed.

Millie piped up with, "I know that if my Bobby isn't getting any action in the sack, he can get just miserable."

"Maybe that's what the army wants," said Mona, "That way they'll have the meanest soldiers in the world."

We all laughed, but I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable. I certainly wasn't used to having these kinds of conversations in public. However, before I had a chance to excuse myself, Miranda spoke up once again.

"All I know is that I am so horny that I am going to eat my Charles alive as soon as he comes through the door." 

There were some scattered giggles. Millie blurted out good naturedly, "You little tramp -- I bet you meet him at the door on your knees."

Miranda slapped her across the arm playfully and they all laughed at the taunt.

Miranda wasn't done yet. "Look at Vermont's face, "she said while pointing at me, "What's the matter? You don't do those kinds of things up there in Hicksville?"

I could feel my face turning beet red, but I laughed along with the rest of them. From there on, the conversation was mostly about sex. I was shocked at how open they each were on the subject. I was also a little jealous of how free they were in discussing it. It sure wasn't like that in Loon Lake!

Our conversation was interrupted a short while later when Maria opened her window and called out, "Payjee! Roberto just called! They coming home for the weekend!"

We all looked at each other and then all was commotion as each of us grabbed some of the mess and we scattered back to out own apartments. I could believe it! Jack was coming home!

I rushed inside and tried my best to do something with my hair and put on fresh clothes so that I would look nice for Jack when he came through the door. I then went to the front window and peeked out. My heart was pounding as I strained for the first sight of our husbands arriving.

It wasn't long before that familiar army bus pulled up out front and our guys came tumbling out. All up and down the row of our building you could hear the high pitched squeals as we screamed our joy. One by one the girls each ran out to meet their husbands as they left the bus. Roberto was one of the first to get off and I watched as he scooped Maria up in a huge bear hug. I felt so happy for her and smiled as I watched the two of them.

I know it could have only been a couple of minutes, but it felt like an eternity until I saw Jack coming down the steps. I rushed forward and threw myself into his arms before he even had both feet firmly on the ground. Jack hugged me so tight that I could hardly breathe. 

After just a moment, I could feel Jack wince and he set me down. I looked at his face and saw him laughing and cringing at the same time.

"Easy," he said, "easy. I've had a slight injury."

I looked at him with concern. "What's the matter, darling?" I asked.

"Oh, it's nothing major," he replied, "I had a small mishap on the obstacle course and hurt my darned knee."

"Well, let's get you home then," I said as I slipped his arm around my shoulder to help him walk. We walked towards our door, but I don't think I was very much use in helping him along. Jack was easily six or seven inches taller than me and outweighed me by a good deal.

"Peg, you have no idea how good it is to see you again. I have missed you so much."

It made me so happy to hear that he had missed me as much as I had missed him. I said, "I prayed so hard that they would let you come home this weekend. I thought I would bust if they didn't."

We made it through the door and I helped Jack to the chair so he could rest his leg. I turned to head towards the kitchen and asked, "What can I get for you?"

Jack leaned forward and reached out to grab my hand. He spun me back towards him and said, "You can bring me my beautiful wife so that I can kiss her over and over."

I gladly leaned over and kissed my husband tenderly. I wanted to show him just how much I loved him and how much I had missed him. Jack wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap. As soon as he did, he sat bolt upright and let out a painful yelp -- almost dumping me on the floor.




Confessions From An Affair Ch. 06



"Ow! Ow!" He shouted, "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea."

"Oh, honey," I cooed, "You're really hurt, aren't you?"

Jack grimaced as he rubbed his knee. He said, "The doc says it's nothing serious. I'll be good as new in a few days."

I reached out and gently touched his knee. I could feel that it was very warm and swollen up pretty good. I tried to push his pant leg up so that I could have a better look, but I couldn't get it up high enough without causing him more pain.

I reached for his belt and told him, "Let's get these off of you so that I can see it."

Jack gave a small chuckle and said, "That would be my pleasure, ma'am."

I slapped his stomach and told him, "You behave yourself or I just might jump on your lap again and give you something to really scream about."

"Oh, you spoil all of my fun," he playfully whined.

I gently peeled Jack's pants down as he lifted his hips to assist me. When I saw the injured knee my heart nearly broke. It was all black and blue and it looked so swollen. "Angry swollen", my mother used to call it. I touched it tenderly and could feel that it was much hotter to the touch than it should have been.

I rose and went to the kitchen. I took a dish towel and filled it with ice from the icebox. When I returned to the living room I was greeted by a sight that really should have made me laugh. There was my husband slumped down in the chair with his pants down around his ankles. His eyes were shut and I noticed for the first time how exhausted he looked.

I hated to wake him, but I knew that we had to get some ice on that knee to bring the swelling down. I knelt at his feet and worked on the laces of his shoes. I slipped them off along with his socks and trousers. This activity at least woke him back up.

I very gently laid the towel with the ice against his knee. Jack gave a small jump at the coldness.

"Is that alright?" I asked softly.

"Mmmm...yes," murmured Jack.

I carefully moved the ice all around the knee -- being as careful as I could not to cause him any more pain. I looked back up to Jack's face to make sure that I wasn't hurting him and saw that he had closed his eyes again. I thought to myself that this wasn't exactly what I had pictured for his big home-coming, but it still felt so nice having my husband home with me.

I gently moved the ice all around the knee. As I moved it to the inner side, Jack let his legs fall wider apart so that could have easier access. The only sound that I could hear was his breathing as I tended to him.

I knew that the ice must have been freezing his knee, so I took the towel away momentarily. I couldn't see much difference in the appearance of Jack's knee, but I hoped that I was doing some good. Remembering my mother's sure-fire cure for any booboo, I leaned down and gently kissed his knee.

This looked like so much more than your run of the mill injury that I thought that it deserved more than just one kiss. I placed kisses all around his swollen knee. I looked up to see how Jack was doing and saw that his eyes were still closed. However, I guess that sleep may not have been the thing that was foremost on his mind. There was now a noticeable bulge in the front of his boxers.

I smiled to myself and felt good knowing that, even though I may not be a doctor, I was at least easing his pain somewhat. I lower my head and kissed his knee once again. This time I raised my hands and ran them slowly up his muscular thighs. My actions elicited a response immediately. Jack squirmed slightly in his seat and I heard a low moan escape his lips.

Feeling a bit bolder, I kissed a bit higher -- above his knee. The next time that I looked up at him, Jack was looking directly back at me. "I love you so much, Peg," he said.

"Shhhh," I told him softly," let me help you."

I leaned down and kissed the inner part of his thigh and Jack let his legs fall slightly farther apart. I didn't want to neglect his other leg, so I moved over to that one and kissed it tenderly as well. I wasn't at all sure how far I was willing to take this, but I knew that it sure did feel good knowing that I was bringing my husband a bit of pleasure.

I switched back to his injured leg and resumed kissing him there. Soon, I had risen so high up his thigh that my progress was blocked by his boxers. I used my fingers to gently raise the leg of his boxers and kissed him even farther up on his thigh.

By now, Jack was really squirming in his seat. I had almost expected him to stop me, but so far he had made no move to do any such thing. Feeling really wicked, I lifted the leg of his boxers a bit further and kissed him a little higher still.

"Peg...", I heard Jack moan.

Holding the leg of his boxers up with one hand, I reached my other hand up to softly cover the bulge of his manhood. Jack moaned louder this time. I gave him a little squeeze and was rewarded by him rolling his hips upward against the pressure of my hand. 

"Oh, God...Peg." He moaned.

I reached both of my hands up to grasp the waistband of his boxers. Jack used his arms to raise himself upwards a bit so that I could peel his underwear down over his hips. As I pulled then down his legs, I was careful of his injured knee. When I finally had them off all of the way I took a moment as I knelt there between his spread thighs to look at his naked hardness as it stood at full attention before me.

Jack started to sit forward and reach for me, but I placed my hands against his stomach and eased him back down.

"No," I breathed, "you just take it easy. Let me make you feel better."

He shook his head in wonder and settled back into the chair.

"Does you knee still hurt you?" I asked.

"It's still throbbing, but I think I'll live," he answered.

"Maybe" I suggested, "it needs more kisses.

With that I dropped my head and began placing kisses all around his swollen knee once again. While I did this, I ran my hands softly over his muscular thighs. I could hear Jack's breathing becoming heavier. I had a sudden thought - What would Miranda think of this innocent little Vermonter now!

I alternated kissing both of his thighs. All the while I kept my eyes on my husband's hardness, now only inches away from my face. I let my hands wander further upwards until I was gently touching his manhood.

"Oh...Peg," Jack moaned as he writhed beneath me.

I leaned back down to kiss his thigh higher than I had yet dared. I felt Jack's hands move down to take hold of my forearms. I held the shaft in one hand while my other hand explored up and down its length slowly. Jack's grip on my arms tightened slightly. It felt as if he were actually pulling me forward.

I scooted on my knees to move a little closer. My lips had now reached the point where his leg met his body. My hands never stopped moving on his hardness and I noticed that my breathing had gotten considerably heavier too.

My mind was spinning. I wanted desperately to show Jack just how much I loved him. On the other hand, I wasn't entirely sure of what my husband would think of me if I were to perform such an intimate act on him.

While I debated with myself over what I should do, Jack helped me make up my mind. His hand trailed up to my shoulder and ever so gently urged me towards his core. I took my time -- kissing slowly from where his leg met his body towards the center. I wanted to be one hundred percent sure that this was completely alright with him.

It must have been, because his hand kept up its slight pressure on my shoulder. I had finally run out of room to kiss any further. It was time to make up my mind once and for all.

I turned my head and looked at where my hand was gently running up and down his length. His hardness was pressed against his lower belly and I could see a bead of moisture formed at the tip. I was so close now that I knew that Jack must be able to feel my breath on him.

With my heart pounding in my ears, I moved over slightly and softly kissed his shaft. I felt a shudder run through me as I felt a man's hardness against my lips for the first time. Jack's musky aroma filled my senses and I heard him give a deep moan.

Holding the end of his manhood down against his belly, I kissed all over his thick shaft. I glanced up to see Jack's face contorted with pleasure. That was all of the encouragement that I needed. I twisted my head sideways and fastened my lips to his warm flesh. I moved my lips up and down as I bathed his entire shaft. I could feel more of his moisture gathering at the tip with my fingers.

Finally, I released his shaft where my hand had been holding it down against his belly. Instead, I slipped my hand between his hardness and his belly and lifted the shaft so that it was standing proudly upright.

I licked slowly up and down the underside of his shaft. I watched Jack's face while I did this and I felt so good inside that I could make him feel so good. I noticed that there was one particular place that seemed to be more sensitive than the rest. I centered my attentions on that area -- letting my tongue lash back and forth across it.

Jack nearly climbed out of the chair when I did that. I raised my other hand to ease him back down again. From that special spot that I had found, it was only a short distance left until I reached the swollen crown. I slowly dragged my tongue upwards until I could taste the beads of his seed that had escaped there. 

Jack's grip on my shoulders tightened as I used my tongue to completely bathe the entire head. At last I opened my mouth wide and sank it down over the tip of his hardness. He felt so large in my small mouth. I wasn't able to take very much of him inside for fear of choking.

I took as much of him inside my warm, moist mouth as I could. Then I backed off until just the tip remained inside. I kept repeating my actions and was rewarded by Jack writhing and moaning beneath me. I removed my lips, but kept the shaft pointed straight upwards with my hand and flicked my tongue across his sensitive spot once again.

Looking up at my husband from that vantage point, I cooed, "I love you, Darling."

Jack was barely able to croak out, "I love you too, Peg."

Once again I fastened my lips around the swollen head and made love to him with my mouth. This time I used my hand to also stroke his thick shaft in time to the movements of my mouth. Jack was now moaning over and over.

Suddenly, I heard him take a sharp intake of air. His hands tightened even more on my shoulders. Before I knew what was happening, Jack was erupting into my mouth. The first jet surprised me so much that I began to choke. I did my very best to keep my lips attached to the tip as he spurted over and over. I closed my eyes and swallowed his seed as fast as I could. Some of it had escaped in that first moment when I had been surprised, but I managed to get most of what was left down.

Jack's groans of ecstasy died out as the last of his seed emptied into my greedy mouth. Even after he seemed to have settled down, I kept my lips in place and slowly stroked him with my hand. At last, I removed him from my mouth. I quickly used the back of my hand to wipe up the mess that had escaped my lips. Without even thinking, I just as quickly licked up the spilled seed from my hand. 

Jack started to say something, but I cut him off with, "I'll be right back.

I rose from my place on my knees and went straight to the bathroom. I turned the faucet on and started lifting handfuls of water to my mouth to rinse off. I looked up into the mirror and stared at my reflection.

"Peg, do you know what you are now?" I asked myself.

I was startled by a sudden movement in the corner of my eye. When I turned around, Jack was standing in the doorway. What must he think of me?

"Peg, I love you with all of my heart," he said, "I want to hold you for the rest of time."

He stepped forward and took me in his strong arms and kissed me tenderly. My heart melted as I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kiss -- trying my best to show him just how much he meant to me.

Later that night we laid in bed and Jack told me all about the things that the drill instructors were putting them through in their training. He sounded so exhausted that it was a wonder that he was able to stay awake at all.

I was completely naked as I laid next to him listening to him talk. I enjoyed hearing everything that he was going through, but I must confess that I was secretly praying that he would catch his second wind. My body had been denied the pleasures that only he could bring it for the past seven weeks and I was looking forward to some of his attentions.

I needn't have been so concerned. Maybe he did feel slightly revived or maybe it was the fact that somehow my hand had drifted down his body to lovingly fondle his manhood. In any event, Jack was soon ready to go again.

As he moved over me, I could see a grimace cross his face and I knew that his knee must still really be hurting. I stopped him and rolled him onto his back.

"Let me," I whispered as I climbed on top of him.

It took a couple of fumbling attempts, but I soon had Jack deep inside me. All of those weeks of self denial came pouring out of me as I rode him to two marvelous orgasms. At one point Jack pushed on my shoulders until I was sitting completely upright on him. I raised and lowered myself on his hardness -- my bare breasts bouncing obscenely as his eyes drank in the sight. I felt absolutely wicked being on such display, but it also made me feel incredibly sexy.

Afterwards, I told Jack, "Tomorrow, we are taking you to the hospital to see if there is anything that they can do to help your knee."

He nodded his head and we spent the night sleeping blissfully in each other's arms. God! How I had missed that!

The next morning I rose before Jack. We hadn't even bothered with eating any dinner the night before and I was starving. I thought that I would cook us a big breakfast to welcome the new day. 

The emptiness in my belly must have been far worse than I had expected. Midway through preparing breakfast I suddenly got violently ill. Since my stomach was empty, I was wracked with a bad case of dry heaves.

When it had finally passed, Jack was at the bathroom door saying, "While we're at the infirmary, I think that you should be looked at too."

I served Jack a huge breakfast and he ate like a man who hadn't eaten in months. As for me, I only picked at some toast because my stomach was still sending me signals that it wasn't quite back to normal.

We got ourselves dressed and strolled over to the brand new hospital. The doctors were able to wrap Jack's knee up so that it gave him support and reduced the amount of pain that he was in. He was waiting for me when I finally came out of the doctor's office.

"How's your knee," I asked him.

"They wrapped it up," he replied, "and they told me to keep icing it to reduce the swelling.

"Were they able to give you anything for your stomach," he asked.

"I wish I had some good news to tell you," I said while shaking my head, "but the doctor said there was nothing that he could give me."

I paused as I saw a look of disappointment cross Jack's face.

"The doctor said that it should clear up all on its own," I finished, "in about seven or eight more months."

Jack looked at me with a confused expression. I didn't want to torture him any more, so I smoothed my hands over my stomach and smiled at him. Ever so slowly I could see it beginning to dawn on him.

"You...you mean that you're --" he stammered.

I smiled at him and nodded my head. "We're going to have a baby," I told him.

Jack let out a loud whoop and grabbed me in his arms. I couldn't fight back the tears of happiness any longer. I buried my face in his big chest and wept for joy. I heard several people who were sitting nearby tell us congratulations and I thanked them while wiping away my tears.

My mind was going a thousand miles an hour thinking about everything that we had to do to get ready for this. Jack led me back to our place. The whole way there he kept looking over at me with a look of wonder on his face. It was true! We were going to have a family!

(I hope that you come back for more as our story continues)



Confessions From An Affair Ch. 07



(It's 1942 and Jack spends his last night at home with his pregnant wife before going off to war)

Fat!

Ugly!

These were the thoughts that rang out in my head as I stepped out of the shower and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I was eight months pregnant and I would have sworn that it was some alien's image looking back at me.

It wasn't just my stomach. My face was swollen to the point that I looked like a squirrel storing nuts for the winter. My breasts, which were never that impressive to begin with, had also swelled to the point where that I was aware of their weight for the first time in my life.

This was to be my husband, Jack's, last night at home. His unit had received orders that they were to deploy to Northern Africa in two day's time. Tomorrow morning he would have to report to different quarters with the rest of the soldiers for last minute preparations before they were transported away.

Jack had tried his best to have his orders delayed until after the birth of our child. Unfortunately, the United States was way behind in their schedule for entering the war and they needed every man that they could find. I don't know which thing made me more upset – the fact that he was leaving to fight in a war or the fact that he would miss the birth of out first child.

I tried my best to bury my heartbreak. I wanted tonight to be something special. I was consciously doing everything in my power to not think it, but there was a tiny voice in my brain that I just couldn't make go away.

This may be the very last time that we ever made love.

I rubbed the towel over my wet hair vigorously in an effort to drive the voice from my head.

No! I must NEVER think anything like that!

I finished drying off and donned Jack's robe. It almost made me cry when I thought about how I had to borrow his because mine had grown much too small for me. Thinking that there wasn't anything else that I could possibly do to magically improve my appearance; I opened the bathroom door and walked across the hall to our bedroom.

As I entered the room, I found Jack busy packing items into his large duffle bag. When he noticed my entrance, Jack stopped what he was doing and gazed at me. I wanted so much to run away and hide! I thought that I looked as big as a house and that no man on earth could possibly find anything about me to be appealing.

Much to his credit, Jack's face broke into a smile as he looked at me. I felt very self-conscious, but I was eternally grateful that my husband would be so sweet to me. Jack straightened up and turned to face me.

"Peg, you are the most beautiful thing that I have laid my eyes on," he said.

I laughed and tried to make a joke out of it, "Maybe if the US Army knew how bad your eyes were, they'd let you stay home."

Jack looked at me with a puzzled expression and slowly shook his head. He walked slowly across the room to me and took my face in his soft hands.

"Don't say that," he said tenderly, "Don't you know how beautiful you look to me?"

My heart felt like it was going to melt. I knew that he was telling a bald faced lie, but it was so touching that he'd go to such extremes just for me. I started to tell him so – 

"Jack, you are such a – "

He wouldn't let me finish.

"Shhhh," he whispered, "You are the most beautiful wife that any man could ever wish for. And knowing that you are carrying our child inside you makes you look even lovelier in my eyes."

I searched his eyes - and if he was lying to me, then he must have been the best liar on the face of the earth. Tears welled in my eyes as I gazed back at him. Through the lump in my throat I softly said, "I love you, Jack."

Jack's eyes looked directly into mine. Slowly, he dropped his hands and loosened the belt of my robe.

"I want to see all of you," he said quietly.

I made no motion to stop him from what he was doing. I felt the tie on the robe come undone and the robe fell open – exposing my swollen belly. Jack took a half-step back and raised his hands to the collar of the robe. He peeled the material from my shoulders and I let him drop it to the floor to stand completely naked before him.

Jack's eyes wandered slowly up and down my body. I was feeling very self-conscious again and I knew that I was blushing all over. He lifted his hands to my belly and touched me tenderly.

"I am going to love the two of you so much," he said.

I could I feel that I was about to cry at any second. How did I ever deserve a man such as this? Jack looked at me with such love and tenderness in his eyes. I couldn't possibly describe to you how happy I was to have his baby inside me. Unable to find any words, I just placed my hands over his on my stomach. In that moment, he had done the impossible – Jack had made me feel like I was truly was beautiful.

I lifted my hands and started to undo the buttons of his shirt. Jack's eyes never left mine and his hands never left my belly. That voice was back inside my head again, but I pushed it back into the deepest recesses of my mind. Tonight I wanted to make love to my husband. I absolutely was not going to think about anything other than that.

Jack's shirt fell to the floor at our feet and I reached for the belt on his pants. I quickly undid it and unsnapped his pants. I recalled how much of a chore this had been at the beginning. The awkwardness that had been present during our earlier attempts at making love had been replaced by a self-assuredness that comes from knowing with all of your heart that you want to make love and that your husband truly loves everything about you.

Jack stepped out of his trousers; his hardness pressing against my belly. His evident excitement was one last reminder that he still really did find me attractive. We wrapped our arms around each another and kissed passionately. Jack did not hold me too tightly out of fear of harming the baby, but I clung fiercely to his neck as our tongues slid seductively along one another's

We moved to the bed where Jack whisked the covers back and laid me down on the cool sheets. He climbed onto the bed next to me and we kissed deeply once again. Jack kissed a trail from my lips, down my neck, and finally to the swell of my breasts. I cradled his head lovingly to me as his lips fastened themselves over one of my nipples. I couldn't help but let a soft moan escape my lips.

Jack moved his lips from one sensitive nipple to the other. The whole time, his hand smoothed itself over my huge belly. I could feel myself getting wetter down below. I don't know if I ever wanted to be made love to him more than I did at that very moment.

I let out a gasp as Jack's hand wandered down a little further and touched my moist opening. He dragged his fingers slowly up and down my slit over and over. I was squirming like an animal in heat beneath him – wanting so much more, but letting him set his own pace. I climaxed as soon as his fingers finally touched my most sensitive spot.

Jack lifted his mouth from my breast to gaze into my eyes as my orgasm shook me. I tried my best to look back into his eyes, but my vision became quite blurry while waves of pleasure rolled through me.

"I love you so much, Peg," he breathed.

His fingers continued to play with me slowly. "I love you too, darling, I managed.

My hand moved down to grasp his manhood tightly. While looking directly into his eyes, I begged, "Please make love to me."

Without a word, Jack lifted himself over the top of me as I eagerly spread my legs beneath him. His arms were fully extended to keep his weight off of me and I could see the muscles of his magnificent chest and shoulders straining with the effort.

Jack eased himself forward until I could feel his hardness probing against my opening. I was so wet from his earlier ministrations that he easily slid inside me.

"Ohhh, God...," I cried out.

We hadn't made love in the past three weeks because I had gotten so big and we were both concerned about the safety of the baby. Tonight all I could think about was having my husband deep inside me. I wanted to hold him there forever if I could. He started out thrusting into me gently. I could see him watching my face carefully

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I bit my lower lip and nodded my head. "Yes, darling. It feels so good.'

I used my hands to urge him into more vigorous action. Jack began thrusting into me harder. He still had that look of concern on his face, but now it was beginning to be mixed with another look – a look of growing hunger.

He started to really move more forcefully. I could feel my body being pushed into the soft mattress with each powerful stroke. We both began moaning our pleasure out loud. This was definitely not the time to worry about being heard through the thin walls.


Suddenly, I became aware that Jack was starting to put a little too much pressure on my belly. He was beginning to loose control as his pleasure mounted. I placed my hands against his ribs and tried to hold him off of me. Jack saw what was happening and immediately pulled away from me.

"Are you okay," he asked with much concern.

I hadn't wanted him to stop. I wanted so much for him to enjoy tonight. I felt bad that I wasn't able to freely give myself over to him in my condition.

"Wait," I said.

I rolled over onto my stomach beneath him and drew my knees up towards my hips. I kept my forearms pressed down flat and my bottom now was on display before him. I knew that I had gained too much weight down there, but it was the only position that I could think of where I could take the pressure off of my swollen belly.

Jack didn't need any more advice. He quickly took hold of my hips and guided himself back inside me. I gripped the pillow tightly as he started thrusting into me. Once again he started out slowly to make sure that I was alright.

I was way more than alright. I could feel him penetrating farther inside me than usual and it felt so wonderful. Jack also must have liked this new position. He quickly saw that he was not hurting me and started to push into me much harder. I loved the feel of him holding my hips and drawing me back against him with each powerful thrust. I could hear the sound of our skin slapping against each others over the sounds of our moans and groans.

When Jack pushed all of the way inside me, he gave his hips a little wiggle. This was something completely new to me. I found that I liked it very much. It wasn't long before I could feel another orgasm building inside me. Jack sure didn't have to use his hands to draw me back against him anymore. I was willingly pushing back against him as hard as I could.

I pushed my face into the pillow and screamed my pleasure as my orgasm took me. Jack's grip on my hips tightened and I could feel him reach his release even as I was wracked with spasms of pleasure. His hot seed exploded inside me and I never felt as whole as I did at that moment.

After we had both finished with our orgasms, Jack held me in the same position. I could feel his gentle hands moving over my bottom and up my sides to touch my swollen belly. He kept murmuring about how beautiful I was. I didn't think anyone could ever think that my big backside was beautiful, so I twisted around and laid down on my back. Jack laid down on his side with his head propped up on his hand and gazed at me. He once again placed his big hand on my stomach and tenderly traced the contours of its bloated size.

"I still can't believe that our baby is right inside there," he said wonderingly.

I took his hand and guided it a bit lower on my belly. Just then the baby kicked.

"Does that help you believe it a little better?" I asked.

Jack got that adorably goofy grin on his face as he felt the movement. "He's going to be a strong one, I bet," he said.

"Or she," I replied.

"No," Jack said, "it's definitely going to be a boy. I just know it is."

I looked at him for a moment. "Will you be disappointed if it is a girl?" I asked him.

"No," he replied, "a little girl that is as beautiful as her mother would be pretty terrific, too.

"In any event," he continued, "I don't think he or she is too pleased with the way that we disturbed him tonight."

I smiled up at Jack coyly. "Babies can be very adaptable," I told him, "I don't think she would mind too awfully much being disturbed just once more tonight."

Jack leered down at me. I think his little wife had maybe shocked him a little bit. However, the shock didn't last too long. He took me in his arms and we made love again. It was a sweet and tender coupling this time. There was none of the pent up desires or overpowering hunger of our earlier lovemaking. I think that we both wanted to stretch out what little time we had together. Though it may have been somewhat less aggressive, it was none the less just as incredible.

We slept that night in each other's arms. I had wanted to stay awake all night and just enjoy having my husband here with me, but I succumbed to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. The alarm clock woke us up all too soon. There wasn't enough time for us to make love again. Jack got himself up and started gathering his things. I busied myself in the kitchen, trying my hardest not to think about the fact that I had no idea when I would see him again after today.

After we had some breakfast, it was time for Jack to leave. He joined the other men in formation out in front of our quarters. They all looked so splendid in their uniforms. It was a shame that they would all be leaving us. The sergeant barked an order and all of the men came to attention. The next thing that you knew, they were marching off down the road.

A group of the wives had gathered together. I went over to join them as our husbands marched away. I was shocked that even Millie, that tough talking New Yorker, was helpless to stop her tears.

What would become of our husbands? What would become of us? None of us had any idea of the trials and hardships that awaited us. I said a silent prayer.

"Please, God...Please look after these men. Keep them safe."

I couldn't go on any longer. I was crying just as hard as everyone else. Maria took me by the hand and led me back to my door.

"Don't worry, Payjee," she said, "Everything will be okay. We still all have each other."

I tried my best to smile. I knew that Maria must be feeling the same emotions inside and she didn't need to be worried about me on top of everything else. I thanked her and went inside and closed the door. The oppressive silence enveloped me once again. The silence was only broken by the sound of the heavy thud of artillery coming from the practice firing range.

"Please, God..." I began.

But, I couldn't go on any further. Instead, I let the tears come.

(Please come back soon as the story continues)



Confessions From An Affair Ch. 08



(The year is 1942. Jack has been deployed to North Africa, leaving behind his pregnant wife)

*

The ground shook as bombs exploded all around. Everywhere the air was filled with smoke and flying debris. The sounds of men screaming in pain and mass confusion momentarily blocked out the terrifying thuds of the artillery shells. Suddenly, a man's face appeared out of the cloud of smoke. His face was streaked with dirt and his mouth was open as he shrieked in pain. His eyes were filled with terror at the horrors that were being unleashed upon his unit.

The man's face became clearer as the smoke dissipated. It was Jack! As the picture became clearer, you could make out the sight of blood. He was wounded -- perhaps dying...

I sat bolt upright in bed and screamed into my hands that were covering my face. My heart pounded in my chest as my eyes struggled to accustom themselves to the darkness of my room.

Slowly, my mind grappled with the realization that it was all just a dream -- the same dream that had haunted my nights on an almost constant basis for the past five months since Jack had left for Northern Africa. 

"Just a dream," I told myself.

Still, in those first moments between dreaming and waking, it all seemed so real. My body was covered in sweat and I was half out of breath. It was if I had really been there. The explosions, the smells, the sounds of the men screaming -- it had all been so real.

I covered my face with the sheet and cried yet again. My mind was still coming to grips with the fact that none of it had really happened. Jack was not hurt and dying right before my eyes. The screams that I heard were not those of wounded soldiers, but those of our baby, Christine, in the nursery across the hall.

I tossed back the covers and swung my feet to the floor. The carpet felt reassuring -- one last verification that I was in our own home instead of some foreign battleground. I sleepily reached for my robe and switched on the light. The clock read two, fifteen in the morning. Not quite two hours since the last time that I had answered the cries of our little one.

I padded across the hallway and opened the nursery door.

"What's the matter with my angel?" I cooed.

I swept Christine up in my arms. I knew darned well what the problem was. The doctor had told me that it was colic and that it should clear up on its own in about three months. That was four months ago and so far there was no sign that it was letting up at all.

I tuned on a small light and carried my precious bundle to the rocking chair that everybody had pitched in to buy us. Christine struggled in my arms as her little body was wracked with pain. I thought again of how much of a failure I was at being a mother. Everyone tried to reassure me that it wasn't my fault, but those words rang kind of hollow when you had a tiny baby who was depending on you keep her safe and happy.

I opened the top of my nightgown and guided my nipple to Christine's lips. Her fussing stopped almost immediately as I held her to me to nurse. This was my favorite time of all. We were all alone and it was perfectly quiet. I was finally doing something to ease her suffering; even if it was only for a short while.

I gazed down at her perfect little angelic face and thought about the night that she had been born. All of the wives had formed a pretty tight group at first after our husbands had been shipped out. One other woman had become pregnant while at Fort Riley, but she wasn't nearly as far along as I was.

The girls all used to make a fuss over me. They also liked to poke a lot of fun, but I could see in their eyes that they were more than just a little bit envious. That night a group of us had been outside visiting when my water had suddenly broken.

"Payjee!" Maria had screamed,

The other women had immediately ushered me back inside of my apartment and there was mass confusion as they all argued about what I should do next. Luckily, someone had thought to run to Sergeant Richards' quarters to tell him of what was happening. The Sergeant had quickly commandeered a jeep and I was rushed off to the hospital.

I had been so scared. I wished with all of my heart that Jack could have been there to help me. I knew that he would always take care of me. However, I had nobody there to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be fine. Luckily, the doctors and nurses were all great, so I was somewhat reassured.

My labor wasn't anything extraordinary, they told me later. But, let me tell one thing -- if any woman has ever had an easy labor, then I sure would like to meet her! The pains were unbearable. I was so thankful when the doctor gave me a shot that calmed me down quite a bit.

I remember seeing Christine for the first time as the doctor and nurses held her up just after she had entered this world. She was wrinkly and messy and looked only vaguely human, but I was in love with her from that very first moment.

A few days later I was brought back to my quarters and all of the other women were there to greet me. Everybody was so happy and made such a fuss over the baby. It did a lot to mask the fears that I had inside that I was in no way prepared for such huge responsibilities and the sadness that I felt that Jack wasn't here to share in this moment with me.

I also remember that moment because it was perhaps the last time that our little group was able to share in such a joyous event. After that day, things would begin to change for all of us, but I will always hold a place in my heart for the kindness that they showed me that day. Why did things change, you ask? I blame it all on The Black Creeper.

Even all of these years later, I don't like thinking about it. For us women, The Black Creeper was the embodiment of all of our worst fears. In the still of the night, when your nightmares seemed to be all too real, you could always hear The Black Creeper coming for you -- Like a hungry shark patrolling the shallow waters searching for its next meal.

The Black Creeper was the nickname that we had given to the large army staff car that was used to come and inform some poor wife that her husband had been killed or wounded in battle. It started making its first visits right about the time that Christine had come home from the hospital. I well remember the first time that I saw it make its dreaded first appearance.

A group of women had been in my home. Christine was crying almost non-stop and I was about at wit's end. Everyone was trying their hardest to offer whatever knowledge they had to help us. I was eager to accept any bit of old wives' tales that they had to offer that might possibly work.

Everybody was talking at once as we compared notes on different cures. Maria had happened to be standing near the front window when we heard her say, "Mira!"

We had all become used to her mixture of spanish and english over the past months and we knew that she was saying, "Look!"

All conversation died away as we looked on with curiosity. A large black army staff car was making its way down the road. It was moving slowly -- as if they were searching the buildings for a specific number. I think that all of us knew in our hearts what it was that we were looking at. It didn't matter that it was your worst nightmare sprung to life, we were each helpless to keep ourselves from staring.

The car came to a stop a little down the road from my door and out stepped two officers in full-dress uniform. The only sound that you could hear from inside my apartment was Christine continuing to cry. All other activity had ceased. All eyes followed the path that the two officers made to the front door of a unit just down the line from my own.

"That's Marilyn O'Neil's place," someone said.

All around, necks were craned to try to see what was happening. Through the open window we could hear one of the officers say," Mrs. O'Neil? May we come in for just a moment?"

Not a word was spoken among us. You could see the terror and the dread in each woman's eyes. Some had lifted the hands to cover their mouths, as if trying to hide themselves from what was unfolding.

A couple of moments passed silently. Then, all of a sudden you could hear a scream of grief penetrating the walls of my home. It was a cry of such unearthly anguish that we all started to cry right along with her. Where, just a few minutes earlier my living room had been the sight of so much laughter and commotion, it was as if all of the air had been sucked out of the room.

Marilyn O'Neil may have been the first victim of The Black Creeper, but she would not be the last. No words had to be said. The gathering at my place quickly broke up and a stream of shaken women left my home that day. I don't really remember another happy moment occurring at Fort Riley until the day that I left.

Maria had been the last to go. She stood as if rooted to the floor. I went over and put my arms around her to try to comfort her. That poor little girl was shaking in my arms so badly that I thought she might just collapse on the spot.

After a long moment, she tried to say something, but she just couldn't make her voice come out. We looked at each other. Neither of us could seem to find the right words to say. She finally turned and went out of the door. I watched her walking away -- looking so small and frightened. God, how I would miss Maria in the coming months! The Black Creeper would come for her just two weeks later.

Thus, a new phase of our lives as military wives began. Where, once we had been a fairly tight knit group, we would henceforth insulate ourselves. Nobody knew when the blade of tragedy might fall upon them. It was easier if you didn't allow yourself to get so close to someone else that their pain might also become your own.

The pattern of my own life soon took shape. The nightmares that had haunted my sleep were now joined by the real life nightmare of seeing the same scene played out day after day as The Black Creeper made its deadly rounds.

In March of 1943 I received a letter from my father. I thought that it was very unusual that he would write. My mother normally took charge of all correspondences in our family. I opened the envelope and read the first few lines. The letter fell from my fingers and I was wracked by a cry of grief. My brother, William, had been killed in action.

I stood frozen in place as the room seemed to spin about me. The Creeper's appetite was indeed insatiable. I cried for the loss of my brother. I cried for the grief that my parents must be going through. I cried at the thought of what horrible news might lay in wait for me someday. I cried for all of the young men whose lives were being given up by the score.

I wanted so badly to be able to go home to Loon Lake to be with my parents. I wanted to be able to help them through this time in any way that I could. I also needed them around me more than I ever had before. I wanted them to be able to see their first grandchild and maybe feel just a little bit of joy in that. However, money was in very short supply. There was no way that I could afford the ticket back east and I knew that my parents, who had never left the state of Vermont during my lifetime, would not be traveling out to see me.

All that I could do was to carry on the best that I could. I prayed every waking hour that The Lord would keep Jack safe and bring him home to me. I had a baby to care for and I put all of my energies into doing everything that I could to be the best mother possible. The colic had persisted for five long months and I still seemed to be helpless to do anything for her.

I wasn't sleeping at night for more than two hours at any one stretch and I was really wearing down. I had taken to eating in an effort to keep whatever strength that I could. I wondered about how much longer I could possibly last.

One day, Christine had been unusually upset. I tried everything that I could think of to soothe her down. Nothing was working. I am ashamed to tell you that I found myself standing in her nursery screaming at her to just tell me what to do.

I immediately clamped my hands over my face. What kind of monster could ever possibly scream at her own child like that? I went over and picked her up from her crib and held her to me.

"Oh, baby," I cried, "Momma is so sorry."

I closed my eyes and asked for forgiveness. Instead of some divine sign, what happened was, Christine threw up all over me.

I placed her back in her crib and hurried to the bathroom to clean myself up. I took my blouse off and ran it under the water as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was a complete failure1

I looked up at my reflection in the mirror and almost didn't recognize the person staring back at me. I hadn't had time to shower in the past two days and my hair looked absolutely terrible. I had put on extra weight from all of the eating that I had done. I was ugly and I was fat, AND I was a lousy mother!

I ran out of the bathroom to retrieve another blouse from my dresser. I put it on quickly and made for the back door. I just had to get out of there! Even if it was for just a few minutes, I needed to get away.

I staggered out to my little garden and sank to my knees. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I started grabbing handfuls of weeds that had sprung up and began tearing them out of the ground.

See! I'm not even a good gardener!

I vented all of my anger on those darned weeds. I tore them from the ground with all of my strength. I wasn't only ripping up weeds -- I was ripping up the U.S. Army; I was ripping up the goddamn war; I was ripping up that horrible colic that was making my baby so miserable.

I don't know how long I knelt there pulling weeds. I was vaguely aware of dirt clods flying up and hitting me in the face and my hands being covered in mud. Suddenly, as if from somewhere far away, I heard someone's voice.

"Hey there," came the deep voice, "We got a call from the Chinese. They say that their rice plants are being pulled right into the ground!"

I looked up to see my old horse companion, Sergeant Jackson, standing nearby. His booming laugh rang out and it seemed to pull me back to reality. I suddenly realized what my appearance must look like and I wiped at my face with the back of my wrist.

"S -- Sergeant Jackson," I stuttered," I didn't realize that you were here."

"I haven't seen you around in quite some time," he said, "I thought that I would come by and see how you were doing."

"That was very kind of you, Sergeant," I said as I squinted against the sun, "I've missed working with the horses."

He looked at me seriously and said, "You see that, there? You done been gone so long, you went and forgot my name"

I smiled as I tried to wipe away another of the smudges on my face, "No, I haven't, Daniel."

His deep laugh again broke the air. In that moment it dawned on me just how isolated my life had become. I had forgotten the simple pleasure of talking to another human being -- or at least another human being that wasn't crying her lungs out back at you.

As if on cue, Christine began crying loudly from inside the house again. My first instinct was to run to her, but the fresh air and sunshine combined with the unexpected pleasure of some company kept me from running right off.

Daniel turned in the direction of the house and said, "Sounds like someone has some mighty fine lungs."

"You could stop by at any time of the day or night and she would be demonstrating just how strong her lungs are," I said.

"Well," he said, " I might as well let you be, then. Sounds like you have enough to keep you busy around here, alright."

"No! Wait! Please," I said, "I'll bring her outside so that you can see her."

Sergeant Jackson broke into his big smile, "If that wouldn't be too much trouble. I'd love to see just who it was that took away my favorite groomer."

I went inside to retrieve Christine. On the way to the nursery, I stopped in the bathroom to clean myself up a little bit. I was so embarrassed when I looked in the mirror and saw what I mess I was. I quickly washed my face and I gave up after a few futile attempts at doing something with my hair.

I changed Christine's diaper and then brought her out into the sunshine. "This is our daughter, Christine," I said to Daniel.

Hi eyes went wide, "Oh my! Isn't she just the cutest little thing that I've ever seen!"

He wiggled his finger in her face and made all kinds of baby noises. He was such a sight to see -- this big rugged horseman had been reduced to making funny noises to a little baby. My face felt strange as I smiled like I hadn't done in months.

"Would you like to hold her?" I asked.

Daniel looked at me in surprise. "You wouldn't mind?" he asked.

I handed Christine over to him and Daniel took her gently in his arms. She was still fussing a little bit, so he grabbed her under the arms and lifted her high in the air. She stopped crying immediately as he hoisted again and again high above his head. In fact, I was shocked when I saw her actually smile.

My baby was smiling!

Sergeant Jackson's booming laugh filled the air as he played with Christine. "We're gonna make a horsewoman out of you, just like your momma," he said, "Some day we're gonna put you on a horse all of your own."

Daniel stayed and visited with us for about another twenty minutes before he said that he really should be going. I had completely forgotten that he had so many duties that he had to attend to and I felt a little guilty that we had kept him away for so long.

As he handed Christine back to me I thought I saw another quick flash of that sorrow cross his face. "You two are really lucky to have a little one like that," he said.

Without even thinking, I told Daniel that he could stop by and play with Christine any time he wanted. "Well, I just might do that," he said as he walked away.

As soon as Sergeant Jackson had left, I could feel my loneliness descend upon me once again. Christine started crying in my arms and I found my eyes instinctively scanning the neighborhood for any signs of The Black Creeper. I wondered just how much longer I was going to be able to stand my life in this pressure cooker.

The next day I was lying on the couch. Christine had finally stopped crying and was taking a nap. I felt so bone tired -- like I was eighty years old instead of my twenty-two years. My eyes were just beginning to fall shut when there came a knock at the door.

I came awake instantly and my heart leaped to my throat. I quickly ran to the door in an effort to answer it before there was another knock that might awaken Christine. Even in my haste to get to the door my mind recoiled in terror at what might be awaiting me on the other side.

I opened the door and squinted against the sunlight. I could make out the uniform of an officer before me. 

Oh, God! NO!

"Mrs. Hawthorne?' the officer said.

Please! Dear God!

"Colonel Martin sent me," he continued, "He and his wife heard about the birth of your child and thought that maybe you could use this."

My mind was still frozen in terror. I stood there dumbly as he turned to retrieve something from behind him.

"With the Colonel's compliments, ma'am," he said as he pushed a baby carriage in front of me.

I stared uncomprehendingly at the carriage and then back at the officer. I was sure that all of the blood had drained out of my face and that I must look as white as a ghost.

"The Colonel thought that maybe you might be in need of this," he stammered, "- for the little one."

My mind struggled to catch up. I found myself secretly sneaking a peek past his shoulder to see if I could catch any glimpse of the dreaded staff car nearby. When I didn't see it anywhere in sight, I found that I could at last breathe again.




Confessions From An Affair Ch. 08



"Oh, my," I said, "that is so lovely."

I couldn't believe this act of kindness. It was as if The Lord had heard my prayers at last. I tried my best to recover my wits.

"Please tell the Colonel that I don't know how I could ever repay him," I managed.

"No repayment is necessary, ma'am," he said, "The U.S. Army likes to take care of its own."

With that, he saluted and walked off down the sidewalk. I stood there in the doorway in shock. A moment earlier, I had been braced for the worse possible news. Instead, I was the beneficiary of such a kind act by someone that I didn't even know.

I managed to get the baby carriage in through the front door and I went back and collapsed on the couch. My heartbeat was still not back to normal and I could feel the adrenalin coursing through my system. As I looked at my hands, I could see that they were still shaking.

Later, after Christine woke up crying again, I proudly bundled her up and placed her in the carriage. I took her out of the front door and we went for a little walk in the sunshine. The streets were almost deserted in our neighborhood. Nobody had to tell me the reason why. I knew the truth in my own heart -- everyone had barricaded their home out of fear of The Black Creeper.

As I walked along, I noticed the most amazing thing. Christine was no longer crying! I don't know if it was the gentle rocking motion or what, but she was actually quiet. I was prepared to walk all the way to California and back if it would keep her from crying. From that day on, the two of us walked everywhere we could think of. We really put some miles on that old baby carriage!

One day, I found my feet walking down a familiar path. We were approaching the riding stable where I used to help out with the horses. When we arrived, all of the negro soldiers crowded around to see the baby and tell me congratulations. I admit that it is a bit shameful, but I basked in the attention that we were getting.

Slowly, the soldiers started going back to their duties. The last two to remain behind were Privates Robinson and Harris. I was familiar with both of them because I had worked closely with each while tending the horses.

It's really good to see you again, ma'am," said Private Robinson, "but Sergeant Jackson will be back soon."

"I know," I said, "he stopped by to see the baby last week."

The two privates exchanged a look.

"He went to see the baby, you say?" asked Private Harris quietly.

"Yes," I replied, "he seemed like such a natural with Christine. Is there anything the matter?"

Again the two soldiers exchanged a look. Private Robinson gave a slight twitch of his head and Private Harris excused himself, leaving just the two of us. Private Robinson didn't say anything at first. He gave a quick look around as if to make sure there was nobody else near.

"The Sergeant had a wife and a little girl who were killed last year in a car crash, ma'am," he confided.

"Oh, no," I croaked as I covered my mouth with my hand.

"Yes, ma'am," he said, "Back home in Georgia, it was. The ambulance came, but they took the white driver even though there wasn't nearly anything wrong with him. By the time they came back, the Sergeant's wife and daughter were dead."

I was absolutely speechless. It was the most horrible thing that I had ever heard. I felt completely out of place for the first time since I started coming to the stables. I wasn't sure if the colored soldiers viewed me as the enemy just because my skin was white or what. I knew that in my heart I never thought of them as being any different than me. Did they feel the same way towards me?

"Thank you for tell me that," I said, "Maybe I should be going. I don't want to cause any problems around here."

Private Robinson looked at me apologetically. "Just thought you should know," he said.

I turned the baby carriage around and Christine and I went away. The beautiful sunshiny day gave me no joy. All I could think about was the horrible story that I had just heard. How could people be so cruel towards each other? I just couldn't understand. I suddenly remembered that look of sorrow crossing Daniel's face when he was holding Christine.

I also remembered seeing that same look on that day that Sergeant Jackson had first introduced himself to Maria and me. He had been talking about how the cavalry's horses were being replaced by the tanks. 'They always take things away,' he'd said. Now those words took on a whole new meaning in light of what I had just learned.

When we arrived at home, the first thing that I did was to scoop up Christine into my arms and hug her. She immediately began to fuss once again, but I didn't care at that moment. I understood what a precious gift that it was that I was holding in my arms.

Time continued to march forward. The news from Northern Africa wasn't good. The Nazi's General Rommel was proving to be a formidable opponent for the army. The newspapers always referred to him as The Desert Fox. This always made me angry. It was if they were trying to make some kind of hero out of him instead of the villain that he was.

I would write Jack letters almost every day and take them to the post office. I never knew if or when they might find their way into his hands, but I wanted to him to know that I kept him in my heart every waking moment.

Once in a while I would get a letter back from Jack. I understood that he couldn't tell me a whole lot about exactly where he was or what he was doing, so I would always use my imagination to fill in the gaps. I always tried to be as positive as I could when imagining the circumstances, but it was so hard to go on fooling myself day after day.

One day I received a letter in the mail written in a familiar script. It was another letter from my father. I couldn't bring myself to open it -- I just knew it was going to be more bad news. I set the letter down unopened and tried to ignore it, but my eyes couldn't help themselves from being constantly drawn back to it.

I finally braced myself and sat down to see what it said. My father passed along his and my mother's love and asked all about the baby at the beginning. Finally, he got to the part that I had dreaded. My brother, John, had been wounded in the South Pacific. The Navy was sending him home, but he had lost an eye. 

This was horrible news. I tried to console myself with the thought that at least he was still alive. I thought about how much Johnny had always loved to read when he was growing up and how nicely that he could draw, He was the artist in the family and the walls of our home were always festooned with his drawings.

Even as I found myself trying to be positive, I discovered that there were tears rolling down my cheeks. How many of our young men were to have their lives forever changed by this terrible war?

As I sat there and cried for my brother, I heard a knock at the door. Again, my heart seized up at the sound that could be bringing the worst possible news to my doorstep. My eyes peered out of the curtains -- scanning the street for The Black Creeper. I was only slightly relieved when I saw no sign of it anywhere on our block.

I quickly tried to dry my eyes and went to see who it was at the door. Before I opened it I said a short, silent prayer. When I did finally open the door, there stood Sergeant Jackson. He held a small toy horse before him in his big hands and he started to give me a big welcome. He stopped short when he saw the obvious signs that I had been crying.

"Uh -- I'm sorry. I came at a bad time," he said and started to turn away.

Without even thinking, I quickly said, "No. Please stay."

Even all of these years later I can swear to you that the only reason that I said that was because I just couldn't bear to be alone with my thoughts for one more minute. A person can only stand to think about the impending closeness of death for so long before they can't stand it anymore.

The Sergeant turned back towards me slowly, searching my face for some kind of clue. I tried my hardest to give him a smile, but I fear it must have looked very forced.

"Please?" I said again weakly.

He held up the horse and said, "I brought this for our little horsewoman."

I brought my hand to my mouth and let out a small laugh. "That is so sweet of you," I told him, "Why don't you come in and give it to her?"

Sergeant Jackson looked very uncomfortable, but he slowly stepped inside. Christine was lying on her blanket which I had spread on the floor. The colic had finally run its course and she was turning out to be such a delight. Her eyes seemed to focus on Daniel -- as if she remembered his last visit.

That last, may have been my imagination. I've found that most new parents are very quick to credit their children with having much more intelligence than they really have. Later, when the children have grown to be teenagers, the parents will credit them with having no sense at all. Funny, isn't it?

Sergeant Jackson went over and gave Christine the toy that he had brought, while making funny baby noises. Christine smiled as she took it in her tiny hands and promptly stuck it in her mouth -- her very own stamp of approval.

As I watched Daniel squatting over Christine, I thought about the story that Private Robinson had told me about the Sergeant's wife and daughter. I didn't know how, or even if, I should bring up the subject. One thing that I did know, was that it sure did feel good to have another human being here with me.

"Can I get you something cold to drink?" I asked as I headed into the kitchen.

Daniel called after me, "Oh, I don't want to be no trouble."

I told him that it was no trouble at all and poured him a glass of cold lemonade. When I came back in from the kitchen, Daniel was sitting on the sofa. I noticed that the letter from my father appeared to be in a different place than I had left it previously. I gestured towards the letter.

"My father," I said, "He wrote to tell me that my brother had been wounded and was being sent home."

Daniel was very sympathetic and asked about how my family was coping with the war. I told him all about how all four of my brothers had joined up and were serving their country and how my brother, William, had been killed in action.

Daniel nodded solemnly and asked, "What have you heard from that husband of yours?"

I told him that I hadn't received a letter from Jack in almost three weeks and about how worried I was.

Daniel said, "I asked around about your husband. Everything that I heard was that he is a fine soldier. He won't do anything stupid that would get him hurt. The Army will keep him as safe as possible. Don't you worry your little head none."

I smiled at his kindness, but it didn't alleviate my fears one little bit. Daniel leaned forward and scooped Christine up from the floor to play with her in his lap. This made me laugh and forget my troubles for at least a few minutes.

Eventually, Christine began to get restless. I could tell that she was getting sleepy, but it did my heart good to see this nice man who had experienced such tragedy in his life enjoying himself so immensely.

At last, I said, "It looks like somebody is ready for her nap."

Daniel looked at me and asked, "Would you mind if I put her down?"

I smiled and said, "No. Not one little bit. Just let me change the sheet in her crib first."

I went to the nursery and stripped away the old sheet and put down a nice new fresh one. I stepped out of the room to tell Daniel that he could bring her in, but I found him already headed down the hallway. I stepped aside and let them pass.

I stood in the hallway and watched this tough soldier place Christine in the crib so tenderly. He stayed bent over the crib for a moment. I strained my ears and could just barely make out what Daniel was saying to her.

"May the angels watch over you, little one," he whispered.

My heart broke as I watched the scene before me. I could easily picture Daniel saying the same thing to his own daughter when she was little. As he stood up and turned around, I could see that his eyes were indeed misty.

As he closed the door, I searched my brain for something to say. I wanted to tell him that I knew what had happened to his wife and daughter. I wanted to tell him how sorry I was at the unjust way that they had been taken from him. I wanted to tell him that I knew what it was to lose someone you loved and how powerless you felt that you could do nothing about it.

The words just wouldn't come. Instead, I stepped forward and hugged him. I think that Daniel was shocked at first. He returned my hug stiffly. After a moment, I could feel his body shaking slightly as he started to sob.

I was crying, too. I whispered, "I know... I know... I'm so sorry."

Daniel's arms tightened around me as he tried to cope with the pain that he was feeling inside. I hugged him back just as fiercely, trying to block out all of my worries about Jack and my brothers. We were two wounded people searching for any handhold on reality that we could find.

I managed to free myself just slightly and I looked up into Daniel's face. He looked back down at me uncertainly. It seemed as if an eternity passed while we looked into each other's eyes. Slowly, Daniel's face began to descend towards mine. I made no move to stop him.

I closed my eyes as I felt his lips cover mine. A voice in my head was screaming at me that this was not right. However, there was another voice that was telling me that we both needed this -- we both needed to escape the worlds that we lived in for just a little while. I returned his kiss tenderly.

The kiss quickly heated up between us. We were both beginning to breathe heavily as our hands clutched at each other desperately. With a great effort, I broke the kiss and looked into Daniel's eyes. He still had that look as if he were not at all sure that he should be doing this.

Without a word, I took his hand and led him into my bedroom. There was no thought involved. No words were exchanged. We came together in another passionate kiss and I turned my mind away from any interference from common sense or reason. 

Our clothes began to melt away as we each strove to find something that would allow us to feel alive again. I won't go into the details of what happened next. Lord knows that I am not proud of my actions of that day and I've spent a lifetime regretting that I ever allowed it to happen.

We made love that afternoon as we each tried to hold the world at bay -- a world where great world wars could take your husband away from you and leave you living in terror that you would never see him again -- a world where your wife and child could be taken from you just because somebody doesn't like the color of your skin.

Afterwards, I'm sure we both felt guilty over what we had done. I know that I sure did! Daniel left soon after we had finished. To his credit, he was way too much of a gentleman to just rush off without feeling guilty that he was abandoning me. I could see that he was really torn over just what it was that he should do.

In the end, he did finally leave. We didn't say anything afterwards about what we had just done. There were no promises of anything; no whispers of love. I got dressed as the enormity of what had just occurred began to sink in. My thoughts were cut short when I heard a knock at the door.

Thinking that Daniel must have forgotten something, I went to open the door. When I opened it, there were two uniformed officers standing there.

"Mrs. Hawthorne," one said, "May we speak to you for a moment?"

My eyes flashed to the road out front.

Oh my god!

It was The Black Creeper!

I can recall my knees giving way as blackness overtook my mind. I don't remember anything else as I fell into oblivion.

(Please check back again soon as the story continues) 



Confessions From An Affair



Like any other young girl, I had always dreamed of the day when some beau would ask me that very question. During all of those daydreams, however, I never once imagined a scenario quite like this one. Instead of a dashing movie star or an heir to a family fortune asking me to marry him, it was a young man who had never even had the nerve to ask me out on a date for a soda!

Now, hearing me tell you this story, you're probably thinking that I should have said no right there on the spot. But, you weren't alive back then in 1941. How can I explain this?

Do you remember what it was like in the days following September 11th? Perhaps you made donations to your local charity group that was sending money down to New York City. Or perhaps you went off in search of a Red Cross office to inquire about donating blood, even though you maybe never donated before in your life. Do you remember that feeling that you just needed to do something, no matter how small, to help in some way?

It was pretty much the same sort of feeling that we all had in the days after that terrible attack on Pearl Harbor. If anything, we all felt it even more then than we would years later. I don't know if this makes any sense to you or not, but it was a much simpler time back then. Nowadays, you have news channels that broadcast people speaking against the government all the time. Back then, people stood shoulder to shoulder in favor of the government. There was much more patriotism than there is today.

I was feeling all of those things as I stood there on that cold December morning. Jack must have seen the confused look on my face because he quickly said, "I don't expect you to give me an answer right this moment."

I felt relieved to hear him say that, but it was short lived as he next said, "But, I have to be leaving for boot camp in less than two weeks." 

No pressure there, huh? I stammered out, "I'll have to think about it some first, Jack." 

With that, we both went back inside the warm building. I really don't remember much else from the rest of that day. My mind was spinning with thoughts of what had just happened. Had this young man just asked me to marry him? Hadn't I always dreamed of the day that I would get married? Wasn't Jack just about everything that any girl could ever hope for in a husband?

But, there were other thoughts, too. Do I even know very much about him? Does he know anything at all about me? How could I marry someone that would only be going right off to war and leaving me behind? Shouldn't a girl hear bells and see stars when she is in love?

Love?

We barely knew each other as more than co-workers. I thought that he might have had some little interest in me, but was that only my girlish imagination? What would my parents think of this whole situation? What would my friends think? What did I truly think?

Needless to say, I wasn't much use to anyone at the office that day. When I wasn't staring blankly at the papers on my desk, I was pacing to and fro from my seat to the water cooler -- I just couldn't seem to get enough to drink that day. As you can imagine, any time that I didn't spend at those other activities, was spent in the woman's room.

I only saw Jack once more that day. That was when he was leaving Mr. Charles' office. The boss was pumping Jack's hand and looking at him as if Jack were his own son. With a final clap on the back, I heard Mr. Charles say, "Damn proud of you, my boy! You'll always have a job to return to here anytime you want it."

Jack gave me a glance just before he turned to leave. I may be eighty-six years old, but I can still see that same look after all these years. All I could think of at the time was that he looked like a lost puppy. He was trying to be brave. However, there was also a look that said I need your help. I can't do this by myself.

Somehow, I managed to make it until almost two o'clock before I asked my supervisor if it would be alright if I went home early. I told him that I wasn't feeling too well. I am sure that he could see for himself with just one quick glance that I wasn't exactly myself and he told me that it would be just fine -- as long as I made sure that I was back at work the next day.

I quickly gathered my things and headed out of the building. I didn't even call my father to come with the car to pick me up. I knew I had a lot of thinking to do, so I braved the cold December air and walked the seven miles back to our house.

When I arrived at the house my mother took one look at me and knew instinctively that something was wrong. Two of my brothers were also home and they immediately began teasing me with taunts about how the plant had finally wised up and fired me. Thankfully, Mom chased the two of them out.

She didn't say anything to me for the longest time except to tell me all about how our neighbor, Mrs. Burkett, was recovering from her operation. I just sat there like a lump -- my mind still reeling with the events of today. Mom pretended to not notice my lack of attention until she finally pulled up a chair next to mine and took a hold of my hands.

"Mary Margaret, tell me what's wrong, child"

I didn't know how to begin. My mother sat there with the patience of a saint -- her warm, kind eyes never leaving mine. Then, all of a sudden, my mouth opened and I spilled the whole story out. I'm sure that I was making very little sense, but my mother just kept nodding her head and I felt her grip tighten on my trembling hands.

Much to my surprise, she didn't look at all shocked by anything that I was telling her. I just kept on watching those loving eyes and somehow I believed that she could make everything right. My Father may have been the one that most people thought ruled our household, but in that moment I realized how strong of a woman my mother was and I think some of that strength seeped into me that day.

At last, she reached into a pocket of her apron and handed me a tissue to wipe my eyes. You know, it's funny, but that woman could always make a tissue appear from one pocket or another of whatever outfit she may have had on. I don't know how she did it. I guess it's just one of those magical gifts that mothers seem to possess.

After waiting for me to look back into her eyes my mother began, "I think it's a wonderful thing that Jack is doing. He isn't the first, nor will he be the last -- no, not by a long shot. I think that before long, boys will be flocking in to join up for the war. I've seen it all before, dear."

I waited until she continued on, "I've been holding my breath, expecting to hear each of your brothers coming home to tell me the same thing. They'll surely sign up just like your father did right before we got married."

She paused for a moment while the last of what she had said sunk in. "That's right, Mary Margaret. Your father asked me to marry him in much the same way. Back in 1918, it was. I suppose boys have always played at being brave, but the truth of the matter is that they are still just boys after all. They want someone at home to worry about them and to write to them, and to love them. It's been that way since the dawn of time."

You -- you and dad have always been happy, haven't you?" I asked.

My mother smiled and said, "Yes, child. We've always been very happy."

I paused for a moment -- needing to know, yet fearing her answer to my next question. "You think I should do this, then?"

She shook her head and smiled. "No, silly. Nobody can tell you when you should get married." My mother paused for a moment, then continued, " Women get married for all kinds of reasons. Some can't stand the thought of facing life alone. Some of them do it because it's a way to escape their families. Still others see it as their one big chance to have a family. Who's to say what is a good reason and what is a bad reason?"

I noticed that there was one other reason that she hadn't hit on at all. Love. Hadn't I grown up fantasizing about some of the great love stories that I had seen in the movies? Didn't every girl secretly wish for that one true love that would come and sweep her off of her feet?

As if reading my mind, my mother said, "Respecting each other and working through life's problems together is how love develops."

I would have liked to talk with her longer on this subject, but just then there was a clamor as my brothers came back into the house. I dabbed my eyes and my mother shooed me away towards the stairs to save me from their torments.

I spent the rest of the day and evening in my room thinking about what my mother had said. I certainly wouldn't get married just to escape my family. There was such an abundance of love in our home that my friends had often commented that they wished that they lived with us instead of their own families.

The other two reasons were not so easy to write off - the fear of facing life alone, and the chance to start a family of my own. Those two arguments could not be brushed off as quickly. One of the great fears that I had always had in the back of my mind was that I might not ever find a husband. This town was simply too small. How was I ever to find my Prince Charming from among this mere handful of boys?

I also thought about what she had said about how through respect and working together, love would grow. What Jack was doing by joining the army to defend his country was most assuredly the bravest and most noble thing that any young man could do. It was certainly a trait that anyone would respect. And hadn't he always treated me with respect? I don't remember a time when Jack hadn't been the most proper of gentlemen when I was around.

Well, I guess you know how I made up my mind. God help me, but I came to the conclusion that if Jack wanted me for his wife, then it would be my honor to accept. I knew that Jack would be waiting for me outside the mill tomorrow morning to see if I had thought about his proposal. I couldn't wait to see him and tell him the news! I tossed and turned the rest of the night. I don't think I slept a single wink.

Unbeknownst to me, my parents began secretly asking around about this mysterious Jackson Hawthorne fellow. Every report that they received gave a glowing recommendation. They learned that he came from a very good family, that he was a very hard worker, and that he had never been in any trouble his whole life. My mother would tell me later that he sounded so good, that she wished she were thirty years younger herself!

Jack would come to our house a couple of day later to formally ask my father's permission to marry his daughter. My dad was immediately impressed by Jack's firm handshake. I think my father would have approved just based on the fact that Jack was joining the service in a time of war, but he was also impressed that Jack was respectful and sought my father's advice on what to expect upon joining the army. Men have such funny ways when it comes to acceptance.

My mother, on the other hand, couldn't be swayed so easily by such artificial means. She listened quietly -- studying Jack the whole time that he spoke with them. What won her over was the way he addressed the both of them, not just my father. She thought that showed that he respected women as well as men. Also, she noticed the way his eyes kept flicking over to me. It was as if he wanted to make sure that I was okay at all times. This made her think that Jack would always protect me and take care of me.

All that was left was to plan a wedding in less than a little over a week's time! We spoke with the priest at our local church and he seemed to understand our urgency completely. It seemed as if several other weddings were being similarly planned just as hastily. My mother retrieved her old wedding dress from the attic and she and my aunts found that they could alter it to fit me quite easily. Everything seemed to happen so quickly!

So, there I was - ten days later, walking down the aisle to become Mrs. Mary Margaret Hawthorne. The church pews were filled with family, friends, and well wishers. When you live in a town as small as Loon Lake, the word of our nuptials got around pretty quickly. All week long people had been stopping me on the street to tell my how wonderful it was and what a beautiful thing it was that I was doing.

Jack looked so handsome in his borrowed tuxedo as he waited for me at the altar. I did have the fleeting notion, though, that he looked near scared enough to make a run for the door. I must have instinctively quickened my pace because my father placed his big, callused hand on my arm and forced me to slow down. This was it! This was the moment that every young girl dreamed about her whole life! I had been to many weddings during my lifetime, but this day the familiar ritual seemed entirely different. This time it wasn't a ceremony to unite some other person. Today all of the words were meant for me. 

As we got to the altar, my father lifted my veil and kissed me on the cheek. I had barely a moment to register the tear that was forming in his eye. I had never in all of my twenty years on this planet seen this giant rock of a man show anything even remotely close to this kind of emotion. It moved me almost to tears, myself.

My father then turned and offered my hand to Jack. It was only small step from my father's side to Jack, but it was as big a journey as I had ever taken. Jack's hands felt sweaty and it made me glad to see that I wasn't the only one feeling so jittery about this whole thing. However, as soon as he took my hand, he seemed to settle down somewhat. I felt his courage seep into me at that moment.

The ceremony itself was a blur to me. All that I can recall is vague images of flowers, the soft sound of snuffling, and an overwhelming need to pee! I do recall quite clearly Jack and I looking into each other's eyes as the vows themselves were read. The final realization that this was to be the man that would be my husband for the rest of my days was just as beautiful as anything I had ever imagined it would be.

We left the church amid a shower of rice and well wishes from one and all. It may sound really corny to you, but I even loved the tin cans tied behind the car as we sped away towards our reception at the local Elks Club. Five hours later we were headed to the Savoy Hotel in Burlington for our first night together as husband and wife.

The butterflies in my stomach were stirring up such a commotion that I was sure Jack couldn't help but notice. I had learned a thing or two about sex since that long ago afternoon with Jonathon Perkins in my friend Laura's garage, but up until now it had only been words that I had read or heard. There was such a jumble of excitement and nervousness inside me that I thought I just might burst!

We arrived at the Hotel and Jack signed us in on the register as Mr. and Mrs. Jack Hawthorne. I'll never forget that thrill of seeing that epitaph for the very first time. We then made our way up to our room. Jack unlocked the door, then turned and scooped me up off of my feet to carry me across the threshold! I wish that I could tell you that I had this profound flash of being a mere girl who was being carried away into womanhood, but that would only be a bald faced lie.

There was an awkward moment after Jack carried me into the room. We both may have had our own little bit of knowledge about what was about to happen, but nobody had ever explained the process of getting from this moment to that one. We both smiled nervously at each other and then Jack lifted his hand and softly stroked the side of my face.

"Right now, I feel like the luckiest man alive, Peg" he said "I never dreamed that I would meet someone as beautiful as you."

Then he leaned down to give me the sweetest kiss that I had ever experienced. In the battle being waged inside me between excitement and nervousness -- which, up until now, had been pretty even -- the scales tipped decidedly in favor of excitement. 

As we broke our kiss, I cleared my throat and said, "Just give me a couple of minutes."

I then opened our suitcase and removed my nightgown before heading into the bathroom to change. It's a wonder that I was able to get changed at all with my hands shaking as much as they were. I stripped off all of my clothes and folded them neatly. There was no need to give Jack the impression that he was marrying a slob, after all. I then slipped the silky nightgown over my head.

I had never owned anything quite so beautiful in all my life. My mother had given it to me amongst many nervous jokes from everyone at a hastily thrown together bridal shower that she had arranged for me. There was a matching silk robe that I demurely tied at the neck and then I took a moment to study my reflection in the mirror.

Jack's flattery aside, I knew that I wasn't a ravishing beauty or anything. My eyes caught the glint of my wedding ring, with its small diamond and my heart beat at an even madder pace. I fussed with my hair to try and make myself as alluring as I could, then switched off the light, took a deep breath, opened the door, and stepped out into the room.

It took my eyes a second to adjust. Jack had draped his shirt over the single lit lamp and the room had a soft romantic glow. He had also turned the sheets back and he was standing along side the bed wearing what looked to be a brand new robe. His huge frame filled out the robe better than any model I had ever seen in the Sears and Roebuck catalog. Somehow, I made my feet start carrying me towards my new husband.

That walk across the carpeted floor seemed as long as any marathon that had ever been contested. I remember the feel of the silk gown as it brushed my bare skin hidden beneath it. Jack watched me approach with wide eyes. I had a quick thought that his heart was probably pounding just as hard as mine -- if not harder!

Jack held his arms out to me as I neared him and said, "Mrs. Hawthorne, you are the loveliest thing that I have ever laid my eyes on."

As I arrived in front of him, I placed my hands on his arms and ran them up to his broad shoulders. "And you, Mr. Hawthorne, are the most wonderful husband that any girl could ever hope for."

I felt Jack slip his hands around my waist and pull me towards him. My hands moved from his shoulders to up around his neck as he leaned down to kiss me. The feeling of being held and kissed by your new husband, while wearing so scandalously little, was indeed intoxicating. Our lips parted and out tongues glided against each other's tentatively. I felt Jack's grip around my body tighten and I was drawn harder against his firm body.

Our kiss deepened and a soft moan escaped my lips only to be swallowed up by Jack's mouth -- which was driving me wilder with excitement with each passing moment. I felt Jack's hands moving over my back like he was exploring a new toy for the first time. My nipples -- not covered by a bra for the first time -- hardened as my breasts were crushed against his powerful chest.

Our lips ground against each other's more and more desperately. I didn't want this moment to ever end. Suddenly I became all too aware of something poking into my belly. Jack's manhood had come to full attention and was jutting out from between the flaps of his robe. I could feel its heat through the thin silk and I pressed my lower body tighter against him in an effort to feel it more clearly.

Our kiss finally ended and we looked at each other through dreamy eyes. We were both breathing much more rapidly now than we had been earlier. Nobody else in the whole universe existed in that moment other than the two of us. Jack lifted his hands and tried to untie the top of my robe. Poor boy! His hands were shaking so badly that I thought he may never get it undone.

At last, he got the tie loosened and he gently peeled the robe from my shoulders. I lowered my arms and let it fall to the floor at our feet. Then, while looking deeply into each other's eyes, I reached for the tie on his robe. I don't know how, but I was much more successful at freeing it than he had been. Jack's robe opened and I stepped forward again to feel his naked flesh -- now shielded only by my thin silk nightgown.




Confessions From An Affair



As he kissed me once again, I raised my hands to his shoulders and pushed his robe off and let it too fall to the floor. My husband was now completely naked as he held me to him. My mind was swirling with desire as Jack reached down and lifted my nightgown up over my head. Now, I too was naked -- save for my matching panties - before a man for the very first time. As he let the nightgown fall to the ground, Jack took a moment to look at his new wife.

I don't think my heart was even beating. That moment couldn't have lasted more than a second and a half, but it seemed as if it went on for hours. I also took this moment to look at my new husband. I took in his broad shoulders that tapered away to a thin waist. I also had my very first view of Jack's manhood. It was very stiff and stood out from his body luridly. I had no way of comparing him to any other man. All I knew was that it looked much too large to do what I knew was going to happen very soon.

Jack took me in his arms again and we both experienced the feel of flesh against flesh for the first time. Our lips came together and we both reveled in this moment -- a moment that we had both thought a lot about as we were growing up. Some things in life never live up to your expectations, but I must say that this was most assuredly not one of those times! The feeling of Jack's hands moving over my bare back was almost as exciting as the feeling of his hard chest mashing against my naked breasts.

Just when I thought that I couldn't possibly stand it for another second, Jack broke our kiss. While looking straight into my eyes, he slowly turned and urged me gently to our marital bed. He held my hand as I slid between the cool sheets. I tried with all of my might to maintain eye contact, but I must admit to being more than a bit curious. My eyes wandered down to his hardness and I felt a shiver of excitement race through me as I gazed at this object that had been the cause of many a restless night during my lifetime.

I laid back against the soft pillows while Jack made his way around to his side of the bed. When he arrived at his side, he pulled the covers back and paused a moment to stare at my exposed nakedness. I fought my natural shyness and let his eyes drink in the sight of his new bride. It felt both slightly wicked and yet powerfully erotic to feel his gaze roaming along my body.

"Peg, I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life," he said.

I felt like I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't have made any kind of reply if my life had depended on it. I simply held out my arms to welcome him into our bed. My heart began hammering harder than ever as I felt his weight on the mattress beside me. I turned as he took me in his arms and we kissed once again. Yes, I was nervous and a bit scared, but I felt so safe as he held me in those strong arms of his. This was my husband and he would always be there to protect me and to comfort me.

I melted against Jack's chest and again savored the feel of his naked skin against mine. I once again felt the unmistakable presence of his engorged manhood pressing against me. I was beginning to really enjoy the feel of his member and I pushed myself tighter against him. This caused Jack to emit a soft groan. It made me feel so happy that he was finding such pleasure with me.

Jack reached his hand up between our bodies and took a hold of my breast. This time it was my turn to moan in pleasure and I instinctively arched my back -- pushing my breast against his large hand. I knew that I was never as blessed as some other girls when it came to the size of my breasts. I may not have been an Olivia De Havilland, but if Jack was disappointed, he never let on as much. His fingers took hold of my sensitive nipple and I felt it become quite rigid as he gently rolled it -- causing me to moan once more against his hungry lips.

I was having increased difficulty in breathing as Jack elicited such delicious pleasure throughout my body. Without even realizing it, our lower bodies had begun grinding against each other's. Our kiss broke and Jack moved his lips to the side of my neck. I arched my head to the side to offer him the full expanse of my exposed flesh. My arms moved around his neck as I held him to me. His lips and tongue felt nicer than anything I had ever imagined.

Ever so slowly, Jack's kisses gradually moved lower. I lifted my head to watch the sight of my husband kissing across my smooth upper chest. As he began to kiss up the slope of my breasts, I heard and felt him murmur, "So beautiful....."

I kept my head elevated as I watched Jack's lips and tongue arrived at my swollen nipple. I moaned loudly as I felt his warm mouth close over the sensitive nub. Then, my head fell back as I felt a new unfamiliar wave of pleasure sweep through me. My arms held his head to me and I let him make love to my breasts. I felt him shift slightly and then I felt his mouth moving to repeat the same exquisite torture to my other breast.

Jack must have been feeling the same building pleasure that I was experiencing because the actions of his mouth became more and more urgent. His tongue moved more rapidly and he sucked harder at each nipple as he moved back and forth between each of my mounds. For my part, all I could do was writhe beneath him as he transported me to places that I had only been able to imagine existed.

Slowly, Jack began lowering his hand down my side until he reached my last vestige of clothing -- my panties. I felt his fingers move beneath the waist band and he began pushing them down over my hips. I lifted myself slightly to assist him in ridding me of this last barrier of modesty. Now, it was as it should be -- all that I had to offer was now his.

He lifted his head from my breast and brought his lips to mine once again. His strong hand gently stroked along my outer thigh and up over the curve of my hip. After a minute or two, he reached up and took my much smaller hand in his. Ever so slowly, Jack moved my hand down between our bodies. I let him guide me until I felt his hardness against my palm and my fingers instinctively closed around the warm shaft.

I don't have to tell you that this was the first time that I had ever touched a man in such a way. No matter how many times I had dreamed of this moment, there was simply no way to prepare oneself for this magical moment. So many thoughts raced through my brain! He felt so large and so hot in my hand. I wasn't sure if it was my imagination or what, but it seemed to pulse with a life of its own. And, I was so amazed that anything could simultaneously feel so hard, yet so soft and smooth in my hand.

Jack let out a deep moan as my hand moved all around his manhood. I explored all the way from his rough pubic hair to the swollen head and back again. I tried to pump it to give him even more pleasure, but I must have done something wrong. I felt Jack give a small jump and I was crushed -- I thought that I must be the worst person in the whole world at this.

He didn't say anything, but he reached down and took a hold of my hand once again. He moved my hand farther down his shaft and waited for my grip to tighten once again. Then, he gently guided my hand up and down his shaft. I could feel the difference at once as I stroked him slowly. Jack must have felt the difference at once as well because I could hear his sharp intake of air. How wonderful it felt to know that I was giving him so much pleasure!

I barely had time to revel in my new found ability to give my husband this type of pleasure when I felt Jack's hand return to my thigh. This time his hand reached down even lower and moved to the inside of my thigh and gently urged my legs open. Oh, God! This was it -- he was going to actually touch me down there!

His strong, mill worker's hand caressed its way up my inner thigh. I let my legs fall even wider apart -- offering all of myself to him. Finally, I felt his fingers reach my moist opening. He jabbed a couple of times and now it was my turn to give a small jump of discomfort. I released my grip on his hardness and reached down to guide his hand to my aching clitoris. The sensation of his first touch sent a wave of pleasure through me like an electric current and I let loose with a long sigh.

I quickly replaced my hand on his thick shaft and we were both soon moaning as we gave each other such pleasure. This had to be the most wonderful thing in the whole wide world! I could feel myself getting wetter and wetter down below and I felt Jack begin to thrust his hips in time to the movements of my hand. Just when I thought that I didn't want this to ever end, Jack shifted and raised himself above me.

My hand remained on his hardness as I felt his weigh settle over me. I guided the huge head to my opening and felt him begin to push against me. This was it! My eyes widened as I felt myself being stretched like never before. A couple of more tentative pushes and then Jack pushed through my barrier. I barely had time to register that Jack was now inside me because the pain was quite intense. I was prepared to feel some pain on his first entry, but nothing in life quite prepares you for that type of pain down there!

I let out a small cry and Jack immediately stopped his movements. He looked down at me with such concern -- afraid that he had injured me for life. "Peg, are you ok?", he asked and started to withdraw.

I quickly reached down to hold his hips in place. "Yes" I croaked, "don't ." They were the only words that I could manage, but thankfully Jack understood and remained inside me without moving. I felt his arms tighten around me and that made me feel better.

In a moment or two the pain began to subside a little. Jack was kissing me again and I gently urged his hips forward once again. This brought fresh waves of pain as I felt him moving deeper inside me. I tried to will my body to relax and accept him, but that was too much to ask at that moment. Finally, I felt him all the way inside me. His weight ground against my pubic mound.

I had barely enough time to register the fact that my new husband was buried inside me all the way when he began to slowly withdraw. He didn't pull all of the way out, though - then he was thrusting forward again. We were doing it! We were making love!

I'd like to say that all of the pain turned immediately to pleasure, but that's not how it was for me. The pain lessened somewhat, but there was still a great deal of discomfort. My hands moved up Jack's muscular back as he kept up a slow, steady pace. He was moaning over and over again as he penetrated me to my depths. With each thrust, he seemed to withdraw just a little bit further.

What a wonderful feeling it was to feel Jack over the top of me while making love! I could feel his much more powerful body moving and straining and it was all I could do to keep myself from screaming out in pleasure at that sensation. Through my clouded mind I noticed that Jack's movements were becoming more rapid. His arms tightened around me and he was murmuring over and over into my ear how much he loved me.

There was another sensation that punched through the cloud in my brain as well. That was the sensation of an orgasm building inside me. Each powerful plunge brought new jolts of pleasure coursing through my body. I found myself starting to lift each time Jack thrust into me. I was unaware of it, but at some point I too had started muttering words of endearment into his ear.

Before those feelings could grow any deeper, however, I felt Jack's body stiffen and he thrust himself all of the way inside me. He gave a deep groan and my fingers gripped his shoulders tightly. I wanted to scream in joy as I felt his seed spurting deep within my womb! There is no more glorious feeling in the whole world than this moment and I clung to him desperately as his essence poured forth into me.

You may think that I was a little disappointed that I didn't attain my own orgasm, but you would be dead wrong. Don't get me wrong -- orgasm are pretty nice things, indeed -- but the moment when a man sends his seed deep inside you is the single most wonderful sensation that any woman can ever experience. You may laugh and call me old fashioned, but I still believe that this is the reason God put men and women on this planet and it may have been His greatest gift of all.

After a short while, Jack withdrew himself from me and rolled off onto his side. I missed the feel of him inside me immediately. I rolled over onto my side and laid my head against his shoulder. Jack strained to look me in the face and he asked with his voice all full of concern if I was ok. I nodded my head and tried to smile, but I was sure feeling sore down below.

He laid back and I snuggled closer to him -- just enjoying the feel of him being so close. His chest was rising and falling rapidly still and I could hear his heart beating like mad in his chest. I could feel some of his seed leaking out of me and I pressed my thighs together in an effort to keep as much of it inside as possible.

After a few silent minutes I heard Jack clear his throat and ask timidly, " Peg, was it alright with you?"

I kissed his chest and then looked up into his eyes. "It was beautiful, darling." And I meant that with my whole soul. Lying there in the arms of my new husband with his seed inside me was absolutely the most beautiful moment of all.

(I hope that you enjoyed this first chapter. Please stay tuned as the story continues)