10 comments/ 23469 views/ 57 favorites Coming Home - Extended Version By: icyblue James leaned back in his chair, trying to convince himself to put in another hour's work at the office. It wasn't working. "What the hell," he thought, "everybody else is long gone. It's Friday night and Ashley's been pestering me about working too much overtime, all week." Noticing what time it was, he realised he had yet again put in much more than a day's work. Feeling entitled to go home, he switched off his computer and headed out. Leaving the building, he sighed as he entered the heavy snowfall. By the looks of things it had been snowing for quite a while. The daylight was long gone by now and he realised that he hadn't been out in the sunlight at all that day, another sign that he was working too hard. November was drawing to a close, and when he got to work in the morning it was still pretty dark out. Leaving work more than thirteen hours later invariably meant that it was just as dark outside by then. At first he had figured it was part of the package when it came to being an architect. But while they did have a major project to finish, it didn't seem to keep anyone else from leaving work at a fairly reasonable hour. Christmas was approaching fast and everybody seemed to look forward to the festivities, everyone but him. James heaved another heavy sigh as he thought about this. Just like his willingness to work non-stop, his reluctance to do Christmas preparations was connected to his lack of close family relations. His mother had died in childbirth and his dad had died just a few months earlier. He'd been an angry, bitter alcoholic, only getting worse with age, much like the cheap wine he'd been so fond of. They hadn't seen each other much toward the end. It had seemed to suit them both just fine. No, James didn't long for large family reunions, but he did miss Ellie. His stepsister Elizabeth from his father's second marriage had gone missing five years earlier and James had been looking for her ever since. Well, not anymore that is. After she heard he was looking for her, she sent him a postcard telling him to please stop. Apparently she wanted nothing more to do with any of them. It had stung badly considering she was the only person James had ever felt a lasting connection to. He felt his heart give a squeeze as he considered the very real chance that she hadn't felt the same way. He hurried through the snow, hoping to get to the tube station before it could leak into his shoes and start nipping at his toes. As he reached the brightly lit, surprisingly welcoming hole in the ground that was the entrance to the tube station, he abruptly stopped in his tracks and forgot all about how tired, cold, and absolutely starving he was. He couldn't help but stare at the tiny angel that sat shivering on the steps of the Starbucks on the corner, holding a steaming cup of hot chocolate, while she looked up and down the street seemingly trying to decide which way to go next. To James she looked achingly familiar and he sent a silent prayer to the stars, hidden by the city lights and heavy clouds, that it would really be her this time. He'd been wrong so many times before, but then he had never felt this certain before either. He walked up to her slowly, as if he was approaching an unfamiliar cat, trying not to spook it, and whispered, "Ellie? Is that you?" Elizabeth whipped her head around and looked at the familiar looking stranger, and promptly dropped her precious cup of hot chocolate. She regretted it to the very core of her soul for a whole second. She'd really gone all out treating herself to it, and then it didn't matter anymore, she knew she was safe. Before she had time to even consider his reaction, she jumped up and flung her arms around him. As she relaxed into his safe warmth and familiar smell, she couldn't help but sigh, "Jamie." James chuckled at that; it was such a relief to be called by that name again. They stood there clinging to each other for quite a while, making up for five years worth of hugs, until he let her go and held her at arms length. "Where the hell have you been? I've been looking everywhere for you! I was worried sick!" He gave her a quick once over, then another, and another, taking in her much too thin jacket, worn shoes, and holey gloves. And he could see plainly that all his concern had been justified. She looked so thin, not to mention freezing, her lips were turning an unflattering shade of blue and she was shivering rather violently now that he wasn't keeping her warm anymore. A feeling not unlike a punch in the gut swept over him and he figured it was about bloody time she came home. "Come on, you're coming home with me. We can talk about all this later, I suppose." Somehow the profound look of relief that swept her face worried him even more. What kind of trouble was she in? Did she even have a place to live? Something about her made him doubt that, though she didn't have any luggage. Though she had never been one to conform to stereotypes, and he couldn't picture her lugging around a shopping cart, there was a reason homeless people were usually lugging around a heap of stuff; it was necessary for survival. What would have happened if he had stayed in the office for that extra hour? He cringed at the thought, put his arm protectively around her and led her down the stairs to the tube station. He was dying to know what she had been up to since she ran away three days before the funeral, but she didn't seem to want to talk to him just yet. She looked even more exhausted than he felt, so he left her, for the most part, alone. He couldn't stop himself from touching her though; he had to prove to himself that she was really there, that he wasn't just dreaming again. When they got home to his apartment he had to help her get her coat off. She was stiff from the cold and couldn't quite manage on her own. Usually she would have hated to accept help from anyone, it didn't seem like she could afford that luxury anymore. "Why don't I get the fire started, and you can sit there and thaw out while I run you a bath? Sound good?" She managed a shaky nod. He got the flames going and she sat down on the floor in front of it, the thought of a cushion to sit on didn't even occur to her. To James she looked far too used to sitting on hard surfaces. He was becoming more and more concerned by the minute. He realised it was a good thing she'd need some time in front of the fire before she could get into the bath without feeling scalded by the water. The bathroom looked exactly like it belonged to a bachelor who was working so hard he barely had time to eat. He welcomed the opportunity to scrub the bathtub and tidy up a bit. Changing the sheets also seemed like a good idea. Fifteen minutes later, James approached her with caution; she seemed so different from the girl he used to know. He helped her up, showed her where the towels were, and promised her fried eggs and toast when she was finished in the tub. "I'll see what I can do about some clean clothes." Another silent nod from the girl who had once been the most vivacious person James had ever known. He felt like crying. They used to be so close, with no one but each other in the whole wide world to confide in. He remembered how she used to crawl into bed with him when their parents were fighting, and he'd put on music to drown out the harsh words from the master bedroom down the hall. He sighed for the umpteenth time that night and set about digging in his closet for something for her to wear. Eventually he found a tank-top of unknown origin in her size and some comfy boxer shorts. He'd just finished preparing the food when she came into the living room, wearing the improvised pyjamas he'd put out for her. "Thanks. Food smells good." Her smile was a little weak, but nevertheless it was a big improvement on the silent, freezing girl he'd found on the street a short hour ago. "Come sit down. Your timing is perfect. I found some milk in the fridge, but I don't think we should take our chances with it. I can make you some tea if you like. You still take your tea without milk, right?" "Yeah, tea sounds lovely," she said as she curled up on the kitchen chair, just like she used to. "Still haven't gotten the hang of sitting properly on a chair I see," Jamie grinned, feeling some of the tension leave his body. She was going to be okay; he was going to make damn sure of it. "So, are you going to tell me where you've been?" Being stern with her seemed to go against his nature, it felt all wrong, and he struggled to keep a straight face. It would seem that he didn't succeed, she only smiled pleasantly and replied; "I promise to tell you all about it, but please not tonight... I'm exhausted and starving. I just want to inhale my food and collapse on your lovely sofa. Do you have work in the morning? A girlfriend who'll be pissed to find a girl in your flat?" For the first time in longer than he liked to admit, going to work on a Saturday was out of the question. "No and no. You can tell me all about it in the morning. But you're delusional if you think I'm letting you sleep on the sofa. You know me better than that. In fact, I think I might be insulted." Again he failed to keep a straight face. Well, he'd always known he was a big softy when it came to her. She seemed to take him seriously enough not to argue with him on this though. Either that or she had been longing for the bed more than she wanted to admit. In no time at all, she had finished her food. She tried to suppress a yawn and failed spectacularly. Jamie chuckled. "Off to bed with you. Go on. I'll tidy up here and crash on the sofa." Ellie hesitated for a moment. "You don't have to do that. I mean, we've slept together plenty of times before. It's no big deal, and I'd hate to kick you out of your own bed. Besides, you look like hell. Have you slept at all since the last time I saw you?" "Huh. No, not much. Things have been quite hectic at work lately. Are you sure you're alright with this? You know you can tell me." He studied her face trying to see through her pretences like he used to. She seemed to have gotten over her initial hesitation, and he decided to object no further. "Really, it's fine." By now he'd cleared away the dishes, meaning he'd chucked them in the sink, and they got ready for bed. In the bathroom, Jamie found that Ellie had rinsed out her clothes and hung them to dry. He brushed his teeth and made a mental list of all the things they had to get sorted in the morning. He rinsed his mouth, padded into the bedroom, and crawled under the covers. "How about I take you shopping tomorrow? Looks to me like you might need some new clothes." He suspected her mumbled reply wouldn't have been as compliant if her mind hadn't already been muddled by fast oncoming sleep. Jamie woke up with a start at four a.m. Ellie was thrashing in her sleep, her screaming muffled by her pillow. Horrified, Jamie shook her awake. "Ellie, wake up! It's just a nightmare. Wake up!" When she did wake up, she moved with blinding speed, twisting around in bed and flinging her arms around him. Clinging to him, she cried on his shoulder for a few minutes while he stroked her gently on the back. "God, you scared me there for a minute. What was your nightmare about?" he whispered after a while. "Can't remember." she murmured and lay back down in bed awkwardly. She seemed embarrassed and still terrified, and curled up in a tiny ball just like he knew she would. It seemed completely natural to both of them that he curled himself around her c-shape, putting his arms comfortingly around her. They'd slept like this countless times before. Initially it had been because of a shortage of space in his twin bed, but in the end she had needed the comfort of knowing he was there for her no matter what. All in all, they both had bittersweet memories of nights sleeping like this. Eventually, they fell asleep again, both feeling the comfort of each other's company seeping through their dreams. Jamie woke up in the morning, feeling more rested than he could remember having been for a very long time. Ellie's surprisingly familiar shape was all the explanation he needed. Initially he was happy to watch her sleep indefinitely, but then she shifted slightly against him. Instantly, he was painfully aware of the downside to sleeping curled up next to her, the side-effect he hadn't missed at all. Thankfully, he always woke up before her, so his rather obvious not-so-brotherly feelings for his stepsister was still a well kept secret. Well, pretty well. He was counting on her to have drawn the wrong conclusions about a certain New Years Eve five years ago. He slowly disentangled himself from Ellie and got out of bed carefully. Once he was safely out, he went to get a much needed shower. He'd completely forgotten just how difficult this part of his life was. What was a horny teenager supposed to do when his dad married the mother of the girl he was desperately in love with? He used to wait for it to pass, but eventually he had to give up. She was just too charming and loveable to fall out of love with. She seemed to crave his company just as much as he did hers. Thankfully, he'd never been delusional enough to think she wanted him around for the same reasons he wanted her. His massive crush made it easy for them to slip into a pattern where they stuck together and made their own little unit within the bigger and more troubled family sharing that roof. As long as they had each other, everything else seemed a little less important. Having finished his shower, Jamie went into the combined kitchen and living room only to see Ellie perform an archaeological excavation of his refrigerator. "We'll have to go out for breakfast, it seems." She must have heard him come in, though he had no idea how. "Yeah well, you were lucky I had anything edible for you yesterday. Hop in the shower and we'll go out. Your clothes should be dry by now. Or if you're too hungry, I can go get some breakfast from the corner shop while you're in the shower." Her, "No, thank you. I can wait." was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. "Ashley, hi. Yes I'm sorry, I forgot. I won't be coming in today, we'll have to sort it out on Monday." Jamie cringed and made a face while he listened to the angry woman on the other end. "I really am sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll get you the nicest Christmas gift you can imagine." he paused for a second, listening to her reply and grinned. "No, not that nice. I'm not made of money, as you well know. I'll talk to you later, okay? You're going to love my reason for standing you up. Okay, bye." Ellie listened carefully to the conversation. After he hung up, she felt apprehensive, uncertain about her right to be there, in his apartment and in his life. Everything had seemed more normal than she had dared hope between them last night, but it seemed that there was someone with more right to put claims on his time than her. She looked around the apartment, looking for ornaments or other girly stuff that would seal the deal on the question of his single status. "You could just have told me you had a girlfriend. I wasn't going to be difficult. I asked you yesterday to avoid situations like this one. I don't want to be an inconvenience." He looked puzzled for a second and then started laughing. Her glare stopped him short though. "That wasn't my girlfriend. Ashley's my 58 year-old secretary. I asked her to come in today and help me go through some of the plans for the new project with me. I need help to keep track of all the different ideas we have on the table for the new project; we still haven't decided on a design. Understandably, Ashley was pissed to have come in to work on a Saturday for nothing. It was my fault for forgetting to call her and tell her I wasn't coming in today after all. Now, go get ready so we can get some breakfast." Half an hour later, they were sitting in Jamie's favourite new little café in Covent Garden. It was a nice place. He knew the girl in charge, Katherine something, through an acquaintance. Usually he came here so that he wouldn't feel so alone, at least here he knew that Katherine would be more than happy to chat with him whenever she had the time. It wasn't all that often, the café was a big hit, but still, it made him feel less lonely. Jamie and Ellie sat in two comfortable armchairs near the fireplace, sipping cups of delicious hot chocolate. Though Katherine specialized in chocolate-based food, she had some lovely sandwiches on the menu as well. While they were waiting for their food, James decided to have a go at getting her to talk about what happened. "Are we going to talk about the night your mum died? Or are we just going to keep on ignoring it?" Jamie felt anxious about her answer, not knowing what he wanted her to say. He'd been at a friend's house just down the street that night. There was a party and he had set about getting fantastically drunk. He was painfully in love and agonized over Ellie's recent statement that he was the the "best big brother she could have asked for." Ellie looked shamefaced and said; "No, we are definitely not going to talk about it. It would be best if we could just forget the whole thing altogether." She looked profoundly embarrassed and Jamie felt a twinge of guilt. From her point of view, what happened that night must seem horribly wrong. He had been out-of-his-mind drunk that night, and so he wasn't at all certain how it had happened, but surely he must have started it. She was never to know that night was Jamie's all time favourite memory, and his biggest regret. He had always been certain that his outburst of not-so-platonic feelings was to blame for her disappearing act three days before the funeral. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ "Shit. I can't believe she called me that. That's like the worst thing she could have said to me. Like ever." Jamie sat on his friend Marcus' sofa. The party wasn't going all that well, and Jamie wasn't the only one in a bad mood. "Face it. You're never getting into that girl's knickers. She thinks of you as her big brother. It's just not going to happen. Why don't you try your luck with Stephanie over there instead?" Marcus may be a patient guy, but even his patience had its limitations and Jamie had been whining about Ellie getting drunk on her eighteenth birthday and thanking him for being the best big brother anyone could ask for. For nearly six bloody months. "Ah, it's no use man. She's ruined me for everyone else. I think I'll just have some more of this godawful tequila. Who brought this crap anyway?" Marcus laughed; "Stephanie did. She's been eyeing you all night while you've been sitting here, drinking her liquor. The least you could do is talk to her." Too late, Marcus realized he was talking to thin air. Jamie had got up and walked over to the kitchen, away from Stephanie. It didn't take him long to figure out why. Jamie had spotted Ellie, and there was not a force known to man who could keep him away from her when she looked like that. "Ellie, what's wrong? What happened?" Ellie looked a little wild, her eyes darting around the room like a terrified animal looking for predators. It didn't take long for the adrenaline to leave her system though, now that Jamie was here. She felt safe with him and ran into his arms. He was her protector and her safety net, even when he slurred and smelled of tequila. "It's your dad. They had a fight and mum ran out. He was really pissed. He..." At that point, her crying got completely out of hand and she couldn't speak anymore. Ellie doubted she would have been able to tell him what his father had tried to do even if her throat hadn't closed up. Coming Home - Extended Version She'd never told Jamie exactly why she was scared of sleeping in her own room when their parents' arguing got out of hand. It was her shameful secret. Besides, Jamie had always been there to keep anything from happening. Tonight had been a close call though. "Come on. Let's go home. He'll be asleep by now. You can sleep with me tonight, that is if you can stand the smell." Ellie gave a silent nod, having decided not to embarrass herself anymore in front of Jamie's friends. He kept his arm around her the entire way home, not knowing who was supporting who; they both seemed a little unsteady. Once in the door, they both took unnecessary caution not to wake his father. He'd be passed out drunk by now, but neither of them felt like taking any risks. For once, Ellie didn't change into her pyjamas before Jamie locked them in his room. Ellie was grateful that he seemed too drunk to notice, though she hoped this didn't mean that he'd fall asleep too quickly. She'd made her choice and she wanted her first time to be with someone who cared about her. Jamie was a good looking boy and he was kind and caring. She preferred her first time to be with him, rather than with his father. How could she be certain that she would always be able to fight him off, or that Jamie would always be there to look after her? He'd be going away to school in the fall and she had no idea what would happen then. While he was busy getting undressed - he seemed to have a little more difficulty with his shoes than usual - Ellie managed to get under the covers wearing only her underwear without Jamie noticing the deviation from their normal routine. When he got under the covers, she snuggled up to him and put her head on his shoulder. He put his arms around her, like he always did, and hesitated a little when he noticed that something was amiss. It took him a second, and she could hear his sharp intake of breath when it dawned on him. She chickened out and they lay there in silence for a few minutes while she was gathering up her courage. She felt certain that he must be able to hear her heart pounding. Deciding it was now or never, she put her hand on his cheek and made him face her. She drew in another shaky breath before giving him a kiss, light as a feather, on the lips. She was terrified that he would be disgusted. Though she had never allowed herself to consider him as anything but her brother, subconsciously she had always been more aware of him than what was practical, considering the high stakes should they go down that road and ruin everything. It wasn't one of those confident, seductive kisses you see in the movies, and she was disappointed with herself for not being able to make it into something more. Jamie didn't respond at first, but all of a sudden he drew her even closer and kissed her back. That was all it took, suddenly the kiss was everything she had ever hoped for. She was surprised to find herself getting excited; it seemed she might be in for the full experience, not just a compromise in the name of damage control. He pulled her onto his chest and she could feel the evidence of her success against her belly. Their underwear came off with some difficulty. It was hard to get undressed while still maintaining full body contact. In the end, Jamie got impatient and rolled them to the side so that they could more easily rid themselves of their last pieces of clothing. He seemed to come to his senses a little once they stopped their frantic kissing and she worried that he would back out. He didn't though. He only sat up and rested his back against the headboard. He must have noticed her concern, for he reached out his hand invitingly. Once she took it, he pulled her into his lap. As she straddled him, he reached in between her legs a little gingerly and ran his fingers over her smooth pussy in a rather exploratory manner. She had suspected him of not being terribly experienced, but felt a rush of relief regardless. The relief soon gave way to other sensations as he explored her surprisingly wet core. His fingers moved around her slickness completely without friction, making his touch feel enticingly light and gentle. As he explored, he quickly gained confidence, helped on by her rather vocal encouragements. His feather light touches to her clit was a revelation to them both and she was soon panting for something more substantial than his fingers. Her enthusiasm seemed to be contagious; James could suddenly take it no longer and flipped her backward so that he was on top. With the tip of his cock at her hot silky entrance, he forced himself to pause. "Are you sure you want this?" he asked while seemingly searching her eyes for the answer. It touched her heartstrings to know that he wasn't simply asking for permission, he genuinely cared. And wasn't that the whole point of having her first time with him in the first place? "Absolutely. I want you." she said while she, in a fit of uncharacteristic courage, gripped his hips and pulled him closer. They both gasped for breath as he sank into her tight virgin pussy. There didn't seem to be a hymen to worry about, but she was such a snug fit they had to take it slowly. She tried not to wince as her body slowly adjusted to the intrusion of his rather thick cock. Despite her efforts, he noticed her discomfort and stopped moving. Instead he gathered her in his arms and kissed her in the most distracting manner he could manage. Gradually she started responding to his kisses with as much enthusiasm as she had before, until she had her legs wrapped around his hips, her hands running through his hair and she was gasping for breath. When he tried moving again, she arched her back and moved with him. Jamie couldn't help but groan aloud as her heavenly pussy enveloped his cock. It didn't take him long to lose control once his concerns about her discomfort were gone. Much as he loved holding her close, after a few minutes of fucking her as hard and fast as he could manage in the limiting position they were in, he got frustrated. Pulling out of her, he got out of bed and gently, but swiftly pulled her legs so she would follow him. Flipping her over, he got her on her hands and knees at the edge of the bed. The great view he had of her and the increased freedom to move more than made up for the loss of skin contact. Gripping her hips, he thrust back into her firmly. Her consequent moan told him she would enjoy this position at least almost as much as him. Soon, the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room as he fucked her with the enthusiasm of a long-suffering teenager. As he perfected his angle so that he hit her g-spot more often than not, she had to grab the nearest pillow to bury her face in; keeping quiet simply wasn't possible while he was doing that. Every thrust that hit home felt like a small eruption in her pussy. The heat was soon all-consuming and she felt like she was melting; she could feel the moisture from her pussy running down her legs and covering his balls as they slapped against her every time he bottomed out. As her orgasm descended upon her like a great wave, he was far from ready for it to be over. He quickly pulled out of her convulsing pussy to stop himself from coming. The respite from the all-consuming desire was enough for him to come to his senses; this was Ellie! He hadn't been fantasizing about fucking her senseless for these past years. Okay, maybe he had a little bit, but mostly he'd wanted to make sure she felt loved and safe, to make love to her. This could hardly be called romantic. As she gradually came down from her high and her breathing settled, he noticed the goosebumps covering her skin. He didn't flatter himself to think that he was the reason, and he became aware of how cold the room was. He helped her get under the covers and climbed into bed after her. Gently brushing the hair out of her eyes as she lay there rather timidly looking at him, he said; "Sorry about that. I kinda lost it." "Why on earth are you apologizing?" "There is nothing wrong with getting your hands dirty during sex, so to speak. But it's not necessarily what you're looking for your first time around. Can I start again?" She giggled. "If it's gonna feel anything like that, you can do whatever you want to." "That's just it though, I'm aiming for something a little different." he thought to himself, as he rolled over to position himself between her legs once more, covering her body with his. He guided himself back inside her, before he entwined her fingers in his and pinned her hands above her head. Careful to keep his weight on his elbows, he kept as much skin contact as possible. This time it was more of a slow build. His movements were slow and precise and he listened to the changes in her breathing to understand what she liked. At first, Ellie felt a little disappointed with the change; compared to their first round, this was rather vanilla flavoured and unsatisfying. Once she stopped waiting for the excessive onslaught of passion and desire though, she could feel a whole new set emotions. She could appreciate the feeling of his lips on her neck, the way his breath would caress her ear every once in a while, the closeness and heat of him and the feel of his skin against her legs as she moved with him. When she came the second time, though it was far less physically powerful than the first, he came with her as they held onto each other fiercely. Lying in his arms afterwards, she sensed that the beauty of this moment was not something she could have shared with just anyone. While she felt certain she would not have reacted to his previous onslaught in the same way had she been with for example his father, she was sure her reaction the second time around - she refused to let herself even think of it as lovemaking - was a something she could only have experienced with Jamie. The truth of the complicating nature of sex descended and threatened to ruin the moment for her. As she briefly considered whether she was in love with Jamie and simultaneously got angry with herself for wasting such a perfect moment on worrying about why it was perfect, Jamie let out a contented little sigh. Like an obstructive cloud moving away from the sun, her worries lifted and she was simply there with him once more. After all, this was her Jamie and what they had could never be tainted by something like this. They'd been through far too much together for that. Just before he fell asleep, he whispered into her ear; "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that. I love you." But his speech was slurred by fast oncoming sleep and what remained of the alcohol in his system and Ellie couldn't make out a word of what he was saying. Not realizing how big the moment was, she decided that she was too sleepy to care. Jamie woke up the next morning, alone in bed. He sensed something was wrong, getting out of bed before him was very uncharacteristic of Ellie. Though she had been acting out of character last night he figured she'd need a good reason for getting up early. He went down to the kitchen, slightly apprehensive. Ellie was sitting in one of the chairs by the kitchen table. It took him a second to realize what was wrong with that picture, she wasn't moving. She sat there, completely catatonic, an untouched breakfast in front of her. He could see a police officer talking to his father. Where was Joanne? And why was the lady from next door doing their dishes for them? He suspected the breakfast in front of Ellie was her doing. That was the moment he recognized just how grave the situation must be. Neighbours don't come into your kitchen and do for you unless someone has died recently. So he wasn't all that surprised to overhear the policeman telling his father that his stepmother Joanne, Ellie's drunk, bitter, and careless mum, had got herself killed last night. Thankfully, taking no one else with her. The next week was a blur of well-meaning relatives bringing food and talking in hushed voices as if that could soothe the sting of a missing family member. The funeral was to be a quiet affair, but three days before it was to take place Jamie woke up to another empty bed and a note from Ellie telling him not to worry about her. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Katherine brought the sandwiches they'd ordered to the table. It did Jamie a world of good to watch Ellie eat some proper food; she had gotten so thin. Once they'd finished their breakfast he told her; "A promise is a promise. It's time you told me what you've been up to." She hesitated for a moment, seemingly reluctant to talk about it. "I went to stay with my friend Lucy. You remember her, don't you? Her mum was away on business for a few weeks and she agreed to let me hide out at her place. I got a job serving coffee at a Starbucks. You know the one next to the British Museum?" "Hold on a minute. I talked to Lucy, she said she hadn't heard from you since before the car crash." Jamie was annoyed already. "Yes, well. I asked her to lie. She's a good friend and we knew you and I would both be better off if you didn't know where I was. So anyway, I served coffee to save up some money to try and find my dad. I didn't hold out much hope that he would have changed his mind about taking care of me, but I had to try. With mum gone, Walter had no reason to take care of me anymore." She left out the one reason he'd had to want to keep her around, Jamie didn't need to know the ugly truth about his father. That was saying something, considering the things Jamie already knew. "I would have looked after you. You know that, don't you?" Jamie's increasing agitation was making this more difficult by the minute. "Yes, of course I know. But you were supposed to go away to school and I didn't want you to put your future on hold for me. I was afraid you'd resent me and I've always wanted you to be happy." "I hadn't thought of that. But it wouldn't have mattered anyway. I was going to ask you to come with me. Technically dad had custody of you, but somehow I don't think he would have minded." They sat there for a few minutes in silence, contemplating what could have been if only they'd talked things through properly back then. How different their lives would have been. In the end, Katherine came to their rescue; "Anyone for a refill?" Jamie didn't even have to look at Ellie to know that she'd love another cup of steaming hot chocolate; she would have lived on the stuff if she could. "Yes, please. The hot chocolate is as wonderful as ever." Jamie smiled pleasantly and managed to make Ellie jealous despite her best efforts. She was silently reprimanding herself for being silly. "He's just a decent, pleasant guy. There is no need to obsess over this." when she suddenly realized that Katherine was talking to her. "I know you. You're Lucy's friend from school. I thought there was something familiar about that face. You stayed with us for a few weeks a couple of years back." "Yes, that was me. I hope I wasn't too much of an inconvenience. Lucy would never have told me even if I was." "Wait a minute. You're Lucy's sister? How did I not know this? I should have remembered you from school." Jamie was astonished. "Well, Lucy and I are twins, so I didn't have any of the same classes as you. You must have been nearly finished by the time we transferred. But still, it's funny how small the world really is. I had better go serve those customers, but I'll be back with your refill in a minute." The minute Katherine left, the tension descended upon their little table once more. "So, you went to look for your father. Did you find him?" "Yes, and no. He currently resides in a little cemetery outside Oxford. He'd died of a heart attack two years before I came to find him. But I did find my granny. She was a sweet little lady who let me stay with her for nearly two years. But then I couldn't provide the care she needed anymore and she had to move to a retirement home and sell the house to pay for her stay there. She died in her sleep last year, she was only 74." Jamie reached across the table and took her hand in both of his while she dried her eyes discretely on her napkin. "I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there for you. It seems like everyone keeps dying around us. Good thing you insist on doing things your own way. You'd be in serious trouble with me if you joined the trend." She seemed to snap out of it as soon as Katherine came back with their refill, and Jamie figured it was okay to press on. "Where did you go after that?" "I moved back to London. I got a temp job as a receptionist in a real estate agency. It was boring as hell, so I wasn't sad to go when the regular receptionist came back from maternity leave. Meanwhile I'd moved in with my boyfriend, Michael. We shared a tiny one bedroom apartment near Pimlico until he left me for a busty blond from work. He wasn't the most original of men, which is a shame as his biggest dream in life is to become a writer." They laughed half-heartedly over life's cruel sense of humour. "That was almost seven months ago. I've been scraping by, working whatever temp jobs I could get and selling off my things to make rent. It hasn't been fun, but I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until one the ladies from the real estate agency didn't recognize me on the street. Why is it that we can never lose weight when we actually want to? Two weeks after I caved and sold my guitar, I got evicted regardless." Jamie was silent for a minute, taking it all in. "Seems like we'll have to buy you another guitar as well as some warmer clothes. There's one thing I still don't understand though. Why didn't you call me? My number's listed and everything! You really thought there was the slightest chance that there would be anything I wouldn't do for you? Honestly, don't you know me at all?" Ellie looked embarrassed, "I was terrified that you'd turn me down. I didn't think I could handle knowing that you didn't care for me anymore. That would mean that I was truly alone." Jamie didn't look insulted, he just smiled his crooked smile and said, "You know, you can be really thick sometimes. Come on, let's go find you a new coat. This one desperately needs to be laid to rest." A few hours later, Jamie had succeeded at getting Ellie enough new clothes to make her mortified. She had objected to the necessity of each new item of clothing, all except the new coat. She knew she needed it, she had wanted a new one for so long, and she absolutely adored her lovely new blue jacket with silver buttons. Already she felt like a different person. She wasn't vain by anyone's standard, but she no longer felt like the sort of person who worries about how she's going to buy food next week. Finally, Jamie suggested that they'd get her a new guitar and she felt more torn than ever. She hated feeling dependent. But at the same time, a new guitar could be the key to her independence in the future. And it was so much more than that. Music had always been her passion, her antidepressant, her primary source of nourishment for the soul. Jamie recognized her expression from long hours of daydreaming about being discovered by a record company. Together they would plan grand schemes for when she would sign with them, and all the fantastic things that would follow. He smiled knowingly, ignored her half-hearted protests and dragged her into the store. It felt like only seconds later, when she was back on the street with her new soul mate in her hand. "Can we go home now? Please? Or do you have anything you have to do first?" Ellie looked at him with pleading eyes. "No," he chuckled. "we can go home. Is it because you can't stand for me to buy you anything else, or because you can't wait to play your new guitar?" Coming Home - Extended Version "With all my heart, it's because of both!" ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Two days later, James woke to find Ellie shivering in bed. Her hair was sticking to her forehead and when he gently shook her awake, her eyes had trouble focusing on his face. Feeling her frighteningly hot forehead, he got her a washcloth soaked in cold water and called his GP. After he mentioned her high temperature, doctor Walsh didn't take long getting there. James paced the living room as Ellie was being examined. He felt terribly on edge; he had been so sure that she'd be safe now that he'd found her again. She would almost certainly have gotten sick even if he hadn't, and it could have been infinitely more serious if she'd been alone, but he still couldn't shake the feeling that he had once again failed to protect her. "It's just a bad cold." doctor Walsh said as he gently closed the bedroom door behind him. "She's very thin, so it might take her a while to get over it, but she will recover fully," he emphasised as he saw James' anxious face. "I understand she's been living under poor conditions lately, she's probably been carrying around the virus for some time. Only now that she's living here, her stress level has dropped enough that it caught up to her. Make sure she gets plenty of rest and fluid. It wouldn't hurt if you try to get her to eat plenty either; that girl needs to put on some weight, or she's only going to get sick again," he said kindly. He let the doctor out and went in to check on her. Huddled under the covers, she was little more than a small lump in the middle of the bed. "I thought I'd pop out and get some groceries. Is there anything I can get you?" "Uhm, could I have a... No never mind" "No, go on. Anything you want." She coughed pathetically. "Well in that case, may I have a tiara?" Right then, he knew he loved her. He really, properly loved her. "A can of Sprite would be lovely. Thank you." An hour later, she woke as Jamie let himself back into the flat. He came in with an ice cold bottle of Sprite and a bendy straw for her. After plumping the pillows, helping her sit up and tucking her in nicely, he smoothed the hair out of her face and handed her the opened bottle. "How are you feeling?" he asked. "My throat is pretty sore and it's difficult to breathe." she admitted. "Do you feel like getting up and maybe watch some telly?" "No, I think I'm too tired." Her head was killing her and the thought of concentrating on anything at all was thoroughly unappealing. The way she was squinting seemed to have told Jamie everything he needed to know about the state of her head. "I'll go get you some Paracetamol. You still prefer them to Ibuprofen, don't you?" "Yes, thank you. But aren't you going to work?" she asked, before taking a careful sip. The icy drink soothed her burning throat if only temporarily. "I'll work from home today. I just need to head into the office and pick up a few things." "You don't have to stay home for my sake. I'll be fine." "There's no need to try and talk me out of it. It's already settled." he replied simply. When he came back with the painkillers, he was also carrying something else. She squinted through the dark bedroom towards the bright doorway. Surely, it couldn't be what she thought... "I also got you this while I was out." He sounded as if he wasn't quite sure how well his present would be received. When he then handed her the teddybear, she was almost moved to tears. It was softer than velvet, perfect for cuddling and looked too much like one she used to have when she was younger for it to be a coincidence. "Aw, thank you! Nothing is quite as comforting as a stuffed animal when you're sick. May I never forget that." She would have pulled him in for a hug had she not felt so weak and been so worried about making him sick too. Taking no such precautions, he leaned in bravely and kissed her gently on the forehead before tucking her in and leaving her to rest. She fell asleep before he left for the office. When she woke up it was dark out and she felt disoriented. Was it the middle of the night or late afternoon? She went to the loo before creeping into the kitchen looking for something to eat. She found Jamie asleep on the couch with his laptop resting on his stomach. She was clearly going to have to talk to him about his workload. Either he was under far too much pressure at work or her presence was much more of an inconvenience than he let on. She had barely gotten the fridge door open before he came into the kitchen. "What do you think you're doing? Don't you know anything about being sick? You're supposed to milk it and stay helpless in bed for as long you can get away with it." He actually managed to sound a little cross this time, not enough to make her think she was actually in trouble though. "Sorry, sir. I got hungry." "Well at least sit down and let me fix you something. Do you think you're up for a grilled cheese sandwich?" "Ooh that actually sounds tasty. I'll just sit here and watch my minion at work." "From boss to minion in ten seconds. Must be some kind of record. Now, how many do you want? Two or three?" "Ah-hah. I see what you did there. One will do, thanks." she said, sitting down carefully. Jamie may be joking, but he was onto something; she shouldn't have gotten out of bed. Her head was spinning now, though she couldn't be sure if it was from lack of food or the virus. Seeing her carefully take aim of the chair and move like a ninety-year-old, Jamie rushed over and gently steered her not down into the seat but over to the couch where she could lie down. "You're looking a bit green around the gills. How are you feeling? I thought you'd be a bit better by now." "I was feeling better. You might have been right about the staying in bed bit." she admitted as she settled against the cushions, accepting the blanket he tucked around her. Closing her eyes, she felt him gently brushing the hair out of her face before heading into the kitchen to fix her food. She must have fallen asleep, because two seconds later he was standing in front of her with a plate for each of them in either hand. She sat up to make room for him, wincing at how the sudden movement made her head spin. They ate in silence, with Jamie closely monitoring how much of her plate she finished off. Feeling optimistic, he'd made her three grilled cheese sandwiches and was pleased to see her eat two of them before settling back agains the cushions. He finished his own plate quickly and took the dishes into the kitchen. As he gave them a quick rinse, he realized that for the first time he felt properly at home in his apartment. It had just been the place where he lived and kept his stuff up till now, but with Ellie curled up on the sofa, feeling miserable and not having the energy to behave with the polite caution of a houseguest, he finally felt like this was home. He almost chuckled when he remembered how much he had looked forward to going home from work yesterday, knowing that she was there waiting for him. The fact that she had promised to have dinner ready when he got there, didn't even have much to do with it. And then today, looking after her had felt so right. Suddenly extra eager to get back into the living room, he left the rest of the cleaning up for later. She looked about to fall asleep, but when he walked in she perked up a bit. "How are you feeling now?" he asked, as he sat back down next to her. "A bit better. The food really helped. Thanks." she replied, apparently still sleepy enough to have slightly lower inhibitions that usual. She turned around so that her feet were facing the other end of the sofa and she could rest her head on his shoulder. Secretly thrilled with the developments, Jamie settled his arm around her and put his feet up on the coffee table. He was pretty sure this was the first time they'd ever cuddled like this anywhere but in bed. It may sound tamer by comparison, but the buildup had usually been much longer. She had always been careful about not touching him aside from in bed, and he felt like he was almost always the one to initiate physical contact besides the occasional platonic hug. It felt amazing, and it was enough to cause him to worry about her noticing his pounding heart. In the end, he decided there wasn't much he could do about it besides getting up, which was obviously out of the question. Eventually he could calm down enough to notice that she felt quite warm. Putting his wrist to her forehead, he concluded that she did have a bit of a fever, but it didn't seem to be anything to worry about. She did have that little frown between her eyebrows that usually accompanied a head ache though and he started to run his fingers through her hair while massaging her scalp gently. It seemed to do the trick. She gave a little sigh and mumbled; "That feels nice. You're so lovely." ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ For the next few days, making Ellie rest was effortless. She only got out of bed to go to the bathroom or when he made her get up to eat something. James spent as little time in the office as possible, working from home whenever he could. He was pretty sure he would have done it even if she hadn't fallen sick; leaving the house when she was right there in his apartment seemed more than slightly ridiculous. Caring for her felt simply amazing, even if she was too ill to really appreciate anything. Cuddling on the sofa after eating supper became a bit of a routine. He'd wait until she fell asleep before carrying her to bed. It was disturbingly easy to pick her up and she only seemed to get lighter as the days passed. On Sunday night, he made them a rich chicken soup in an attempt to lure as many calories into her tiny body as possible. It seemed to work; she ate a lot, but it took a long time for her to finish. The soup warmed her up so much that she slid off the sofa to sit on the floor in front of it instead. Running her fingers absent-mindedly through the thick, shaggy rug, she mentioned how nice it was to be staying in Jamie's lovely apartment. She only meant to compliment his taste, but it got him thinking about what kind of living conditions she was comparing it to. When he prodded her about it, she told him about mouldy flats with rowdy, drunk (or worse) neighbours, bug infestations and leaky pipes and how she wouldn't tell her friends how bad it was so as not to be a burden. "I still don't understand why you left in the first place. I thought we would always be there for each other, and just when you're dealing with your mum dying, you leave. You didn't even go to the funeral." he said quietly once she was finished. "We've been over this before." "And I'm not buying it. Not wanting to hold me back is all well and good, but it doesn't explain your timing. Was living in that house really so awful that you couldn't stick it out for one more week?" he asked, not willing to let it slide again. "No, that wasn't it at all!" she was getting frustrated now. She could see that he was determined to get an answer, but she didn't have one for him. Not one she thought he could stomach anyway. "Was it because of me then? Because of what we did the night your mum died? Because of what I did when I was drunk, I mean." He couldn't look at her anymore and was intently picking at a loose thread on the knee of his jeans instead. She melted and almost told him right then, but thought the timing was worse than ever. How could she tell him about his dad trying to have sex with her, now? She settled for soothing his guilty conscience instead. Putting her hand on his knee to get him to look her in the eye, she said; "You didn't do anything. I was the one who initiated it. I know it was wrong of me and the timing was not only bad, but pretty dodgy. I was just so sure that you'd never have gone along with it of you were sober. I didn't mean to make you feel like you'd forced yourself on me or taken advantage in any way. I'm really sorry." He just stared at her for a few moments, before deciding that it was too complicated a subject to talk about just yet. Instead he said; "Then what did my dad do that made you run away?" It was the only available explanation left to him. She was the one to look away this time. Frantically trying to come up with an answer, one that wouldn't make him angry and preferably one that wasn't a lie, she just sat there speechless. "Tell me!" He knew what she was doing and he was having none of it. "Okay! Just remember that I promised myself I'd never tell you. This is not something I ever wanted you to find out about." She hesitated. "What the hell did he do?!" James felt ready to burst. "Remember how we used to lock your bedroom door because he would try and open it at night? He only did that because he knew I was in there with you." Seeing that he was still just as lost, she forced herself to continue. "He used to feel me up when no one was looking. That night when I came to get you at the party, I had to fight him off after mum took off with the car. I still don't know how I managed it, but I was sure I wouldn't be as lucky next time." Jamie was speechless. He sat there with his head in his hands for several minutes, just processing everything. His rage at his father continued to grow until it felt like his body could hardly contain it any longer. He felt immense frustration over the fact that he had so completely failed to see what was going on. He had been dedicated to protecting her from their parents, and yet he'd had no idea what was going on. Finally Elizabeth couldn't take it any longer. "Please say something." Apparently that anger really had gotten the best of him, otherwise the words that came tumbling out of his mouth were ones he would have rather taken to his grave; "So when you seduced me, you only did it so that in case my father raped you, at least he wouldn't be taking your virginity?" When it became clear that she had no excuse, he simply said; "I'm going for a walk." He got up and went to put his coat on. She walked over as silently as a cat while hunting, a skill she'd picked up while trying not to anger their parents. It was almost enough to make him melt. He kissed her on the forehead and said; "You should get some rest. I won't be out long." As he closed the front door behind him, she just stood there watching him go silently. What could she possibly say to make this right? Nothing. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Around noon on Tuesday, she came into the living room on her own accord. In her pyjamas, with her hair all tousled, she looked pretty adorable. Looking up from his laptop, James felt his heart give a squeeze. She shuffled over to the couch and curled up on the opposite end from him. She had been keeping a careful distance from him ever since she told him. Clearly he was still upset, but until she could figure out exactly what had upset him, she didn't know what to do about it. "How about I put on a movie? You must be bored out of your mind after staying in bed for so long." he suggested. "Sure. Do you have any girly movies?" she said, clearly doubting that he would have any movie's she might like. "Oh, ye of little faith. You'd be surprised. What would you like? Romantic comedy? Something Jane Austeny? Or would you prefer something Christmassy?" "Oh! Something Christmassy please!" Christmas was approaching fast and Ellie was shocked that James had no decorations whatsoever. Fair enough, most single men don't bother much with these things, but he had always loved Christmas! When she asked him about it, he quietly replied; "I loved celebrating Christmas with you, and I haven't been doing that, have I?" His words stuck with her, making her feel oddly guilty. She had always been convinced that she'd done the right thing by running away. If not for herself, then definitely for him. She had always wanted the best for him, and only now did she start to wonder whether there was some truth to his stubborn statement that he would have been happy to keep looking after her, if only she had let him. It was fast becoming glaringly obvious that he was much too good for her. She had hurt him in so many ways, this lovely man that had done nothing but love and protect her for years, while asking nothing in return. ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ "Oh good, you're up." Ellie had been waiting for Jamie to wake up for a few hours, itching to play her new guitar. "What makes you say that?" Jamie mumbled as he shuffled over to the kitchen sink. He got a glass of water and shuffled in much the same manner back to bed. He'd gone out with Marcus the night before, and had tried, and failed, to keep up with much more seasoned drinkers than himself. They had a standing tradition of going out the week before the office christmas party and get drunk then, instead of doing it in front of their colleagues. He was obviously out of practice when it came to Marcus' drinking habits. It would seem that he had been more preoccupied with work lately than he had been letting on. This James person was obviously rather different from the Jamie she used to know and love. She somehow managed to endure a couple more hours of excruciating anticipation, while she did her best to ensure that Jamie got some quality sleep. He'd be in terrible shape for the rest of the day regardless. Anyone would deserve to spend as big a portion as possible of it sleeping, and he had been absolutely exhausted lately. "Not that he'd ever admit that to me, of course." Ellie stood in the doorway, watching him snore quietly. While he was out with Marcus, she'd spent the night at home trying not to think about the onslaught of girls that were undoubtedly chatting him up. Or even worse, the gorgeous girls he might be trying to get off with. In the light of day, she felt a little embarrassed at the sense of relief she'd felt when he came through the door at one thirty in the morning. At around two, she could take it no longer and sat down on Jamie's thoroughly lovely sofa to play her guitar. Once she was done tuning it as silently as she could, she hesitated though. It had been a while since she could play just for herself and her own amusement. It was difficult to find her way back to the place where music was for entertainment purposes only. She wasn't even certain that she wanted to go back to that. An idea started to form in the back of her head. The idea seemed to be a little shy at first and the details remained fuzzy for quite some time while Ellie sat staring into space, planning her future. "Nobody likes a tease. You got my hopes up, tuning your guitar like that." Ellie blinked in surprise. "I didn't hear you get up. Feeling better?" Jamie collapsed onto the sofa, spectacularly ungracefully. "As well as can be expected I suppose. Have you eaten yet?" She shook her head. "No, I wasn't really hungry and I figured it would be nicer to eat together. Shall I fix us something?" "I'll help out... in a minute. I just need to sit here for a moment." Once the food was ready and they were sitting down at the table, Jamie reminded her of his initial question. "Don't think I didn't notice that you changed the subject. What were you thinking about? I could practically hear you flex your brain." "I was thinking about what I should do for money. I've been looking for work for ages. But the only ones available are the ones that suck the life and soul out of you. Call me picky, but I just couldn't handle cleaning windows for a living. Actually, if I was offered a steady job as a window cleaner, I'd probably jump at it at this point, but I seem to attract nothing but temporary gigs." "What would you like to do then?" Coming Home - Extended Version "I was thinking I could teach kids to play the guitar. The pay can be pretty decent if you work hard enough." Ellie had been staring at her toast while she told him about her plans, worried that he might not approve. She looked up now, only to see Jamie beaming at her. "I think that's a fantastic idea! Except, are you sure releasing an album isn't still one of those tormentingly alive dreams? I remember how badly you wanted it." She thought about it for a second and said quietly, "I suppose I am old enough now to know the difference between living out your dreams and sleep-walking through life while you're chasing down the ones that are out of reach. I honestly don't have much faith that it would ever happen for me. The odds of releasing an album that does well enough that I can live off it... Let's just say I've learned to be at least a little realistic." "I think you should start teaching, it's a great idea. Just don't give up on your own music completely. Promise me that." Jamie stared her down till she caved and solemnly swore to continue writing songs. That evening, Jamie decided to admit defeat. The painkillers were doing nothing for his hangover and it was time to call in the big guns and run the risk of still feeling awful tomorrow. Wiping the dust off the only bottle of wine he had, he asked Ellie; "D'you want a glass? You'll probably save my life if you do; if I have to drink it by myself I'm still going to be in rough shape tomorrow." "Sure, I'll have one." she shrugged and got the corkscrew out of the kitchen drawer. They had almost finished the bottle, and Ellie was curled up on the sofa when she started absent-mindedly picking at a hole on the knee of her jeans. He just stared at her for a while. James had been keeping a close eye on Ellie ever since he brought her home. He was pleased to see that she was finally putting on some weight, although the downside was that she had started attracting attention whenever they went outside. It seemed he would soon have to deal with the possibility of her becoming someone's girlfriend. It was not a happy prospect. "What's on your mind?" he asked, partly to turn his mind to other things. "You know my boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, that I was telling you about; Michael. He texted me today. He wants us to meet up. To chat, he says." she said, still pointedly staring at her knees. "And, are you going?" he said in a level tone of voice. "I haven't decided yet. I might." "What on earth for? He clearly doesn't respect you." "You've never even met him!" Ellie exclaimed. "He cheated on you. It's hardly difficult to figure out." "It's a lot more complicated than that and it's not like I'm planning to marry the guy." James ran his hand over his forehead in frustration and said; "I honestly don't see how it's complicated at all. Everyone always says it is when it comes to their own relationship, but when it's someone else they can see clear as day that it's just not right. That's simply not how you treat someone you love. It truly is that simple. Do us both a favour and blow him off. Please." "I don't know that it is that clear cut, and I would like to hear what he has to say before I decide what I want to do." she replied, working very hard not to sound angry. "I can't just stay with you indefinitely and not try to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life! I have to leave at some point, and I would like to not go back to how things were before I ran into you on the street!" "I don't believe this! After everything, how can you question my dedication to look after you?" "If you're referring to me cramping your style and you putting up with me with no complaints, then that's hardly a good reason to become complacent! You're bound to get sick of me eventually!" "Don't be daft. That's not what I meant at all." he grumbled and sank back against the sofa cushions. Not having any of it, Ellie demanded; "What did you mean then?" "Forget it." he said and got up, starting to clear away the glasses. "No. Tell me!" she said, taking the glasses out of his hands to stop him avoiding the subject. "Like you don't already know!" he yelled angrily, grabbing the wine bottle and stalking into the kitchen. "What the hell are you on about?" Ellie was thoroughly confused now. She followed him and put their glasses in the sink. At his frustrated grunt she turned around and saw him rake his hands through his hair. "I told you I loved you and you pretended it never happened!" His agitation was growing to the point where it seemed about to spill over. "Oh Jamie..." Before she could think of something to say, he was suddenly standing in front of her. "Instead you just left me." he whispered in an unbearably pathetic tone, and for the first time it occurred to her that maybe she hadn't been the one to benefit most from their close relationship back then. She had always thought it was just that he was such a decent bloke that he was honour-bound to step up in a way that would never even have occurred to most teenaged stepbrothers. It would seem that she might have misjudged him. "You never told me that you loved me. It's not something that would have slipped my mind." she said quietly. He had her backed up against the wall, but his agitation had all gone. Instead he radiated disappointment and hurt. She couldn't take another moment of it; how many ways was it possible for her to hurt him? How had she been able to inflict enough pain to make this strong man look like a kicked dog, without even realizing it? How thick could a girl get? "I told you the night of the party." His reply was almost inaudible. Even standing as close as he was, he couldn't look her in the eye. "How are you still willing to be there for me after all this? I don't deserve you." That snapped him out of it. She could hear his sharp intake of breath before he grabbed her. Jamie kissed her like there was nothing in the world he wanted more. His lips were firm and she could sense his desperation, but the kiss was gentle nonetheless. He cradled her face with one hand while the other snaked around her waist, pulling her to him. He had taken her by surprise, but it didn't take her long to respond in kind. Her body moulded itself to his and her fingers caught in his hair as she kissed him back without a second thought. Once the surprise of the kiss had settled, she was able to feel it and it was almost too emotional to be enjoyable. He already meant so much to her, and she had so much to make up for, she felt ready to crumble under the weight of it all. Luckily, his arms around her were as steady as they had always been, warm and reassuring. He would always be her rock. He eventually had to come up for air and started working his way down her neck to her collarbone. He had never forgotten the sweet spot he had discovered there and Ellie's knees gave out after what seemed like only a few seconds. He grabbed her thighs and hitched her legs around his hips. Now, as he pinned her against the wall, her molten centre was firmly pressed against the hard and delightfully large bulge in his pants. They moaned in unison as he ground against her. He humped her slowly for a few minutes while he concentrated on her neck. Ellie was outright panting now, and she alternated between raking her nails over whatever part of his back she could reach and teasingly pulling at his hair, which made him growl a little at the back of his throat every single time. He pushed his pelvis harder against hers so that he could free his arms from holding her up all the time. His hands moved to her breasts with the speed of a hormone-ridden teenager within reach of his first pair of tits. After only a couple of seconds of cupping and squeezing the generous orbs, he ripped the front buttons of her shirt open to get at them properly only to be stopped by her bra. Pressed together as they were, moving it out of the way wasn't easy and he got frustrated. "We're gonna have to get you some bras that open at the front, if I'm going to be able to take you up against the kitchen wall. Preferably some lacy ones." James said, only half-joking. Ellie giggled and gave an equally uncharacteristic squeal as he hitched her over his shoulder and almost ran to the living room. Once he sat her down on the sofa, he stripped her of the rest of her clothes as quickly as he could manage. He would have loved to savour the moment and appreciate every inch of skin as it was revealed, but there are limitations to how much a man can take. Within seconds she was naked from the waist up and her tits were finally his to touch properly. He forced himself to take a moment to appreciate the view. After sitting down next to her, he reached out almost reverently and cupped her breasts. They weren't overly large, maybe a little bigger than you'd expect on her small frame, but they were beautiful. The soft, white orbs, tipped with a pair of rosy nipples, fit in his hands perfectly. As he gently squeezed the warm flesh, she gave a sigh. As lovely as the sight was, he needed to have her closer to him. Cupping her face, he went in for another one of those heavenly kisses and pulled her onto his lap where he could wrap his arms securely around her. Turning around on the spot and leaning her backwards, he succeeded in being on top of her at last, with her legs around his waist and her hot pussy pressed against his still caged and, by now, throbbing erection. Suddenly, the years of feeling guilty about what he had considered a drunken seduction of his step-sister kicked in and he was seized by worry that he might have jumped the gun. Maybe she wasn't as into this as he was? After all, she hadn't actually said anything. Oh God...He panicked and sat up, now kneeling on the sofa with her legs still around his waist. Ellie looked at him, puzzled for a second. "What's the matter? Did I do something wrong?" Amazingly, she still managed to look innocent, lying there topless with her pelvis pressed firmly against his crotch. It didn't help matters. "No, not at all. I'm just not sure I can do this." he said, barely able to believe the words were coming out of his mouth. He'd dreamt about this ever since he'd woken up to her cold pillow next to his that fateful morning, but this still wasn't right. "Oh, okay." she said, looking rather shy all of a sudden. Retrieving her discarded shirt from the floor, she covered herself. It seemed to take all the courage she had, to say; "Did I come back too late?" Unable or unwilling to make any assumptions at this point, he didn't know how to reply. Instead he just looked on stupidly while tears started gathering in her eyes. "Don't you love me anymore?" she said, almost inaudibly. That did it. "Of course I do. I'll never stop. You own me." He hesitated a little, before deciding that they'd passed the point of no return anyway. "I just don't want to do this, I can't do this if you don't feel the same way." Not quite ready to say it out loud yet, she slowly and deliberately pulled her shirt back off her chest and onto the floor. Jamie just stared wide eyed and slack jawed. Seeing that it was going to take a bit more than that to spur him back into action, she sat up and whispered in his ear "You have nothing to worry about then." before kissing him as tenderly as she could manage. He seemed hesitant to believe it could be true at first. She forced herself to stick with it, knowing that it would have to sink in eventually. Her heart felt ready to take flight when his hands found their way back to her waist before snaking around her back so that his arms encircled her once again. He didn't seem able to hold her close enough. As he responded to her kiss, it quickly turned fervent. This time, the heat had them tearing at his clothes and they didn't stop until he was left wearing nothing but his pants with piles of clothes around his feet. He didn't trust himself to take it slowly once his underwear came off, he'd done that once before and he was determined to really take his time with her this time around. Pushing her gently, but firmly back against the sofa cushions he got her to lean back against the sofa cushions. Kneeling on the floor in front of her, he unbuttoned her jeans with excruciating patience, and pulled them off her, taking her panties with them. She gasped as he got a firm grip on her hips and pulled them closer to the edge so that her legs would splay open for him. "You have no idea how much time I've spent kicking myself for not tasting this pussy when I could." he growled. "Good thing you got a second chance then." she laughed a little nervously. Her laughter stopped abruptly as he went about rectifying the situation. He didn't even touch her at first. After running his hands up the insides of her thighs to make her open up for him, he just breathed on her. He then started to run his fingertips tantalizingly over her skin, barely touching her. Already he could feel the storm brewing inside her, and he smiled to himself in anticipation. He waited until she was about to cry out in frustration before placing his mouth on her. Not done teasing her quite yet, he kissed her right to the left of her wet slit, savouring the intensified scent of her that he found on the soft skin there. When he finally allowed himself to taste her, the sensation flooded him completely. Still, his reaction was nothing compared to what he elicited from her. Her hips jerked and her entire body seemed charged with electricity. Her fingers tangled in his hair, securing his head in place, as he flicked her clit with the tip of his tongue before sucking on it lightly. In a matter of seconds, the pressure in her body had reached painful levels. She felt like she might burst open if she didn't come soon. Her legs spasmed and she could feel her excitement trickling down between her buttocks as he worked his magic and delved into her as far as his tongue could reach. Just before it got really unbearable, the orgasm finally hit her. She screamed as every muscle in her body went rigid, and the electricity that had been running havoc with her body ran along what felt like every single one of her nerve endings until she exploded. As she came back down, she found Jamie still enthusiastically lapping up the juice that had gushed from her core. In the end, she had to cut him off; she was pretty sensitive and another orgasm like that just might wreck her completely. "I love your dedication, but I can't take any more of it right now." Elizabeth told him as she jokingly pulled him to face her by the hair. "Very well." he laughed and pulled her to join him on the rug in front of the sofa before rolling on top of her. Once he had her in his arms, he took a moment to just look at her, to savour the feeling of having her exactly where he'd ached to have her for so long. The laughter faded gradually from his eyes. When it was all gone, he whispered; "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?" She didn't know what to say, both at his sweet words and the hint of pain in his voice, and she had to settle for tenderly brushing the hair out of his eyes and gazing back at him. After a while he grew dissatisfied and lowered his head so that every possible inch of his skin was touching hers as he clutched her to him. Jamie gave a slightly shaky sigh, as she snaked her arms around him and hugged him back just as tightly. They just lay there together, feeling each other's heartbeat for so long she was starting to think he had fallen asleep. Just as her disappointment that they were done for the night registered, she felt him move against her again. Apparently, he was not only awake, but also still hard. Rubbing his erection against her easily excitable clit, it didn't take him long to make her desperate for him. They held their breath in anticipation as he finally moved to enter her. He buried his face in her hair as he slid inside, holding her tightly. To Ellie, it felt like he was physically filling up a gap that he had left behind the night he took her virginity. It was as if she'd had a craving ever since, without realizing it, and the relief at having that craving finally satisfied was staggering. It was too intense to put into words, and so she couldn't share it with him. Little did she know that he was busy appreciating the sensation of finally being back where he belonged. They savoured the moment for a few seconds, before he tentatively started to move inside her. The pressure inside her started mounting again as his solid length rubbed along the hot, sensitive flesh at her core. She wrapped her legs around him, her hands clutching his back as he began to move faster. It didn't take more than a few minutes of frantic fucking before he grunted loudly and his strokes became erratic. She began to whimper, then moan in pure pleasure. If she screamed when she came, neither of them noticed. Her overflowing pussy clenched down hard on him, her nails raked his back and she took him with her over the edge. He plunged into her one last time before just holding her still there so that he could empty himself as deep inside her as possible. When he was finally empty, Jamie gently brushed her thoroughly mussed up hair out of her eyes and kissed her deeply. "Just so you know, you're not allowed to leave me again." The pain was gone from his voice now, finally. She smiled to her very core and said; "I wouldn't dream of it."