9 comments/ 8655 views/ 1 favorites Closed Down Ch. 01 By: LynneLynne23 *Quick comment: I noticed that lately I've been diving into the college plot more in my stories and it may annoy some that I don't expand my plots, but I hope my readers like this story and please feel free to give me feedback. I edited the best I could and I would use the help of an editor, but I'm too impatient and eager to have this one published. For a warning, this chapter holds no romantic scenes and is a depressing chapter. This isn't just one of those "Quickie" stories, it'll involve many chapters, if I deem so and I won't promise any sex in the next one, but if you love a good romance like I do - then you should have no problem for the wait. Now, enough of my babbling! Go and read way. ~Nicole. * Staring through the window on such a beautiful, warm, sunny day should make me happy. It should make me want to jump with glee and go catch butterflies or some shit like that, but it would require a great deal of energy I just seemed to have lost these past few weeks. During these said few weeks, a number of unfortunate events piled up on my life all of a sudden. First, there was my now ex-best friend whom I caught riding like a A+ cowgirl on top of my now ex-boyfriend, my mother left my father for some young stud that clearly didn't even understand what he was doing, my little sister came out of the closet which broke the camels back with Dad, who did anything but damned her to hell before kicking her out, and now I noticed my grades were slipping which needed to be fixed before Dad hunted me down next. All in all now I lived in this tiny house with only my dad left in it. You'd think since I was in college now that I could get a dorm room there or something, but my parents had convinced me I was needed at home more, but now I'm staying because I don't think I can walk out on Dad right now. Ever since Mom and Abby, he's locked himself in his room for countless hours, barely getting up to eat and shower once and awhile. It's like I've become his personal nurse or something and as annoying as it was to have to constantly coax him out of his room to get him outside for a bit, I tried my best to keep my spirits up around him, but there was only so much I could do without my self-destructive attitude towards myself almost surfacing completely. My family was never really close before all this happened. I mean, my sister and I were close enough and I was damn close to smacking Dad for the things he said before seeing her give me a look that meant not to get involved. Which is a hard thing to do when you're father is screaming what a disgrace his daughter is without the whole town hearing. I'm still on edge with that day, hence why it's more bothersome than it would've been given any other situation, considering he's acting like a child who just learned how to walk. With my parents, my sister and I never opened up to them. They were just those sort of people that expected you to do what they said, to take the insults from them without commenting back, to even get a beat down and still keep your trap shut. Yet another reason I'm living at home rather than partying it up at my college dorm room. "Carla! Carlaaa!" Giving one last longing look out to the glowing, green grass and breath-taking sun, I headed down to Dad's room. Where I'm sure he wants me to act like his mommy again and fetch him some soup because apparently laying around the house all day makes you a very ill person. Walking down the stairs, I lingered a little at the pictures hanging on the walls. I don't think we ever took a family photo together accept the one on the middle of the wall where I was ten and Abby was 7. A family couldn't look more awkward with those forced smiles and stiff stances like we were waiting to be blown up from the closeness of each other. Hearing Dad grumbling loudly down below had me sigh in exhaustion. If the man would only get off his ass for two fucking seconds, I'm sure he'd be starting to try and piece his life back together. When I entered his room, I noticed the curtains where opened for the first time since Mom left and gasped a little as I saw Dad leaning against the window sill, staring outside. He looked so fragile and lost, I actually felt sorry for him. Mind you, I love my father with all my heart, but with how I was raised, it's hard to show your affections and/or actually feel any sympathy towards your family. Sounds cold, but it's the way it was as a kid. "Dad? You alright there?" "Yeah, yeah. Get me some soup, will ya?" "Mm." As I went to the kitchen and heated up the soup, I leaned against the counter and stared out the window again, thinking deeply for a moment and trying to decide how I was going to lead my life now that it's only Dad and I. Do I still try to move out sooner or later? Will he need me forever? That didn't sound too inviting. I mean, I can only handle waking up to his beautiful smile and positive attitude for so long. Pfft. The microwave beeped and I headed back to his room, staring at him while he laid there again on his bed, looking more dull than the day before. I handed him his soup and turned the T.V. on for him. "Anything else?" "No." No "Thank you." or "You're doing so much for me, unlike how I've always been to you." I rolled my eyes as I left the room, before I closed the door I let him know I was heading out for a bit and that lunch was in the freezer. Walking outside never felt more relaxing, even it was only a little. Any tiny bit of comfort was welcomed right now. I breathed in the warm air and headed down to my favorite cafe'. There I could listen to noise that I wasn't fond of hearing in my house, like laughter, the clinking of glasses and people all talking around me at once, all in their own personal worlds. As I entered I was greeted by a warm smile from my friend, Tia, who happened to have her shift now. I smiled back, or at least what I hope she could tell was a smile and headed for my usual seat near the back, out of sight, out of mind. Fingering the menu, I didn't even bother reading the words on it because I already knew what I wanted and plus, I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to notice Tia tapping her pen on my head. I snapped my head up to her, startled, but managed a 'hello' before telling her what I always get. As I sipped on my coffee, I saw it starting to cloud up outside and I forgot all about the news I watched earlier stating that there were chances of rain. It just seemed too nice out for the chance, but I guess it just slipped my mind to bring an umbrella with me. I closed my eyes as I sipped more of my coffee and just kept thinking through my shitty life. I wondered where mom could be right now, how happy she must be while we all rot back over here, I wondered if Abby was doing any better and how much I wish I could just call her, but she never gave me a number, and I wondered how I could move out with Dad being capable of handling it. Sitting in your own sorrow isn't any better than sitting in your own pile of shit, to be honest. So as soon as I finished my meal, gave a huge tip for Tia, paid for my meal and left, walking aimlessly for the moment. I didn't want to go home yet, but it seemed like it would pour any minute. Walking back home was nothing like walking away from it, I always got a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I made my way back because I felt so chained there and I'm guessing no one likes being chained down. (Unless you put it in a kinky point of view, of course.) It was a good thing I had gotten home when I did because as far as I was concerned, it looked like somebody upstairs just threw a bucket of water down on the town. Standing for a moment by the front door, something didn't feel right. Dad's T.V. sounded like static and as quiet as this place is, I always heard something from his room to let me know he was in there, but everything seemed so dead, it was eerie. I felt like I was in some horror flick and I was one of those moron girls that walk towards the very place the killer was at. I half expected to hear "Don't go in there, you fuckin' dumbass!" from a random viewer. I slowly made my way to his door, glancing around me like some paranoid freak and gently pushed the door open. Peaking through the crack I made in the door, Dad wasn't in his normal spot on the bed, but I saw his back from where he was sitting at his desk. He looked like he was slumped forward, so I walked in the rest of the way. "Hey, Dad. You ok?" No response. As I got closer, I noticed an empty bottle of pills tipped over next to him with a half-empty bottle of Vodka. My heart felt like it hit the bottom of my stomach and threaten to jump up through my throat. I rushed over to him and shook him hard, stopping to check his pulse - which wasn't there. Through my tears and panic, I pushed him back against his chair and a sob escaped my throat as I stared at his face. His eyes were half opened and looked lifeless, he was so limp like a sack of potatoes. All I could do was shake him as hard as I could. "Dad! Oh my god, Dad! Fucking, wake up! Dad!" I tried slapping him once in vain to try and snap him out of... Well, being dead. I knew he was a goner, but my brain wouldn't allow me to accept that. I couldn't, not after everything that already happened. He couldn't just do this to me, to Abby, even to my bitch of a mother. I ran to the phone and it seemed like I couldn't dial 9-1-1 fast enough. I stated my emergency, my address and stayed on the phone with the woman while I cried over my father, shaking him and begging him to wake up. "You son of a bitch! How could you? You fucking selfish bastard!" Was all I could keep yelling at his lifeless form. In the distance I heard the sirens and I hung up the phone, sliding down the wall and letting the rest of my world come slamming down around me and I didn't even realize the men come in and find us in the room. After that nothing made sense anymore, they couldn't revive him and I had to contact my mother and struggled to find a way to contact Abby. The funeral held limited people since, lets be honest, my dad wasn't the most nicest guy around and a month after I finally decided to fuck it and moved into a college dorm. --------- It was now officially 6 months after his death and I had no contact with my mother or Abby ever since the funeral. I didn't want reminders, I didn't want to bother with my mother - she barely reacted to the news of her ex-husbands death. All she cared of was going home after and getting stuffed by her boytoy. Abby reacted like I did, maybe even worse since he was our father and we loved him as much as we could possibly love someone like him. One main reason I hadn't talked to Abby since then was because she, once again, gave me no way to contact her and I was tired of hunting her down just to ask how her week was going. The only thing that worked out was my moving into a dorm because now I didn't have to worry about someone giving me a ride over to my classes. I was only a half-hour away from "home", but it's currently for buy and that was dandy with me. Less to go back to and remember. I had the room all to myself since a lot of people on my side of the campus choose to rent out apartments and whatnot. I didn't really settle in like most people here have already done. I had maybe one or two posters up and no trinkets laying around. I had nothing that could bring me any sort of amusement. Mom was so gracious enough to let me have the shitty T.V. and couch that was rotting down in the basement before she decided to put the house up for buy. Normally on Friday nights I would be laying on my bed, watching reruns and sulking in my misery, but a day before I was told by the main office that I would now be sharing the room with a new student and a male one at that. I sighed, waiting around for my roomie to show up, already having an image of what he would probably be like. Every other guy here is either always drunk or always in the library and I guessed, with my bad luck, he was gonna be the party one. I was sorting through my very limited CD collection when I heard the door unlock and as I turned to greet my roommate, I regretted it to a severe degree. He was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on. He was carrying a duffel bag and a pillow, which seemed to be it, and closed the door with his elbow. He nodded my way with a small smile and shocked me once again when he spoke up. "Well, hi. I'm Alexander and I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm your new roomie." That smile, damn, that smile. Determined to not act like an dolt, I made my way over to him and shook his hand before softly replying with my name and that it was nice to meet him. He smiled a little bit more when he shook my hand back and noticed a poster I had above my bed. Of all the dorms, I had to get the drop-dead sexy man who could model for any type of magazine. "Ah, you like The Sounds, huh? Pretty kickass band." "What? Oh - yeah, they're my favorite." "Mm." It sorta ended there as he went to work on setting up his things and for someone who seemed to have brought so little, he had a lot of pictures to hang and a lot of trinkets to place about his side of the room. I awkwardly went back to my bed and laid down, secretly watching him and pretending to be interested in the show on T.V. I don't think I ever saw a man with such long hair and actually pull it off. He had long, black hair that stopped mid-back with such tan skinned and stunning green eyes. His body frame didn't seem too shabby either when he shook off his jacket. Lean and defined, but not overly-muscled and I already concluded that he must have a good five inches or so on me. Anyone else would have thought that living with such a bombshell would be beyond amazing, but for me it just seemed to add to my plate. I was in no mood to have a crush on anyone because I barely seem to get by in life as it is right now. I glared at him for a moment before turning my back on him in anger. It wasn't his fault for being so attractive, but I sure hoped he had a shitty personality because I needed something to keep me at bay with this one. Closed Down Ch. 02 *Hey, sweeties. I'm so excited to be writing this series, it's not even funny. Ha ha. I hope you all enjoy and thank you so much to the people reading. Feedback is always welcomed because I like to grow as a writer. Enjoy! ~Nicole. * It's been almost four weeks since Alex moved in and everything has been so damn awkward. If it wasn't me walking in on him in the bathroom, it was him forgetting to leave boxers on at night. We tried tactics with each other to make things easier, like let the other person know that they were going to go use the bathroom or try to put a sheet in front of his bed as to not have me wake up and see all of his glory every time, but we still walked in on each other regardless and the sheet almost always fell at random parts of the day. I couldn't fucking win with this dude. "You seriously need to chain up your damn boxers from now on." I said to the drowsy, naked Alexander as I closed my eyes and tried my best to pass his bed smoothly and towards the bathroom. Every day, every goddamn day. Fuck him and his boxers, just fuckin' fuck. Ugh. As I thought I had made my way through enough to open my eyes, I ran right smack-dab into the coffee table near the bathroom door and cursed like a sailor. "Fucking mother of crackers, asshole - shit, fuck, shit! Fuck!" Over all my frantic, unlady-like swearing and yelling, I could hear Alex laughing so hard he had trouble catching his breath. Good to know he was having a good laugh and I told him just that. "Carla, you're such a riot." "Glad I can make your day, ass." "Oh, don't be so grouchy, you grumpypants." That's one thing I'll never get about Alexander. He doesn't normally talk a lot and when he does, conversations don't last long. Not that that's a bad thing, if anything I hoped he would be sort of like that. Since my prayers of him having a shitty personality didn't work, he could at least be a quiet, charming hottie, but back to what I wanted to say: Though he may be quiet most of the time, when he talked he never raised his voice, never swore, and when he was to call me names it was always strange ones like "Grumpypants." A few days ago when I had tripped over his books, he laughed and called me a "Clutzy-Cat" after saying sorry three times while I cursed out a storm, again. I was rubbing my big toe furiously, as to rub out the throbbing pain when I felt Alex brush passed me towards the mini fridge he brought a week ago for us. I froze for a moment and kept repeating in my head: Please have your boxers on, please have your boxers on. You better have your goddamn boxers on! With one swift, sneaky glance I saw that he was, in fact, wearing boxers and I finally relaxed, wincing a little when I stood back on my foot. I could never keep my eyes off him when he walked around topless. He had a few tattoos on him and that got me good, I've always been a sucker for tattoos even though I have none myself yet. The only couple tattoos I could make out, was the one on his wrists that said something like: "Always Remember" and the one that was a tribal marking of some sort that covered half of his chest and side. The other three were a little too small for me to see well and it's not like I was gonna get up in his business just to see. I barely let myself sit next to him on the same couch for long. I was kinda starting to feel bad for the way I was treating him. I wasn't a cold-hearted bitch or anything, but I wasn't the warmest person to be around all the time either and sometimes he seemed to want to ask questions, but stopped himself. That was okay with me, less questions, less answers I don't even want to give. After we both gotten ready for class, we parted our ways. Off to art for me and him off to English - not like I was keeping tabs on him or anything. Watching him walk away and other occasions where we went together to pick up some groceries at times, I couldn't help but notice the way he acted in public. He stuck out like a sore thumb due to his looks and yet no matter how many women and men gushed over him, he never let it get to his head. He even sort of politely ignored them, if that was possible. He walked with confidence, his head high and his eyes roaming around everything. He wasn't one to not enjoy the little things no matter where he went. I probably sound like a creeper, but I can't help but watch him when he's not looking. I was five minutes late for my class, but my teacher, Miss Raver, didn't seem to notice because she was so into her lesson of the day that even when a kid dropped his text book on the floor it caused a loud echo and she barely flinched. I slid into my seat and listened to her as best as I could. Miss Raver was known for her speedy talking, a lot of people had trouble keeping up with her when she got really excited over something and today was no different while I tried to focus on her words that all seemed to slur together. Sighing softly in annoyance, I just gave up after trying to pay attention for ten minutes. My mind wandered to other things like my math test that I had next, my doctors appointment that I had to find a way to get to by next week, Alexander, and my late work I needed to get done after classes were over. Mainly I thought of Alexander, but lets pretend I care about my math test and all that other stuff too. After classes were done, I headed to the library and took a seat at an open computer. For the next hour I spent getting my late work done in frustration and constantly taking "breaks" before finally stopping before I gave myself a headache from hell. Now I remember why it's even late work - I can't fucking understand any of it! I decided before I left, I would take a look at my email again to see if Abby sent me some sort of evidence that she was still alive. Browsing through and deleting junk mail, I came across a unusual email address that sent me a letter. When I opened it, I realized within the first few sentences that it was my mother. I wasn't happy or mad, I just didn't care for her much anymore. I can love her and hate her at the same time, people, so calm down. As I kept reading, I came across something that shocked me: She stated that she was getting married soon to Timmy-Fucktoy-Greyston and taking his last name. Anger threaten to boil over in me as I continued reading. The date was the same day as Dad's birthday, which made me even less happy and she wanted me and Abby to be her bridesmaids, I laughed a little too loudly and got shushed by a few uptight kids when I couldn't stand reading anymore. I hit the reply button and ripped her a new asshole. Letting her know that she could go fuck herself sideways and there was no way in hell I would ever attend her pathetic wedding. I also asked her what's it was like to be a cradle robber and with that I hit sent, logged out of everything and walked briskly back to the dorm. So much hate for the woman that I raised me or at least for the woman who tried to raise me. Once I stormed into the room, I barely noticed Alexander propped up on his bed, reading like always before I went into the bathroom and slammed the door as hard as I could. I really just didn't care about anything anymore. I stripped myself of my clothes, turned the shower on and dove in without waiting for the heat to kick in. Letting the water run over me, I tried taking deep breaths to calm down. Last thing I need is the cops called for breaking everything in my way. I must have stayed in there for a long time because eventually I heard Alex knocking on the door, asking if I was okay. I ignored him, leaning my head against the tile wall and this time I let my tears fall freely. I hadn't cried at all after the day I found Dad, not even at the funeral. Since then I made it a point to suck it up and keep turning my back on all the pain. It was all too much to bare for me. Not only did I hate my mother for doing this to the family, if you wanted to fucking call it that, I hated myself for all these emotions churning inside me. I always use to be the girl that could easily get on with life when it got too much on her shoulders, I was always the go-to girl when friends needed a lending ear and shoulder. Now I can hardly make it through a day without shaking from all the stress and depression. I hated myself for not doing a better job at swallowing down my pain like I had been since the she-devil left. After awhile the water turned ice-cold and I had to get out, I poked my head out to see if Alex was still around and he must have left because he was nowhere to be seen. I wrapped the towel around me and went to my dresser, pulling on my sweats and drying my hair. Once I had everything done, I crawled into my bed and hid under the covers. It was only 6:00 and on a Friday, but I didn't care. I was too into the whole "Self-pity" thing to want to do anything but sleep and hope I could dream away all the bullshit. It didn't take long before my eyelids became heavy, drained from all the emotions I quickly fell into a dreamless sleep. /// As my eyes slowly opened, it felt like something was poking at my side. Groaning, I rolled onto my stomach in desperate attempt to go back to sleep. I didn't know what time it was, but it was no time for me to be up. The poking didn't stop and I heard that familiar soft voice calling my name in a sing-song fashion. I groaned again, louder this time in hopes he would understand my frustration, but he kept on doing it and later than sooner I rolled back onto my back and opened one eye, glaring at the pestering hottie. "Alexander, I'm trying to sleep." "Carla, it is now one in the afternoon. It's also a sunny Saturday." "So? Let me rest in peace." "No. Now sit up or I'll keep poking the hell out of you." I rolled my eyes before creeping up onto my butt. I had a pounding headache from yesterdays meltdown, so I quickly placed my head onto my knees as Alex sat down next time, putting his shoulder around me. I stiffened and I think he sensed that because he chuckled, patting my shoulder. "I'm not a biter, Miss. Relax." "How do I know? You could be a mass murderer for all I know." "If I was, I would be an excellent one." "Mmph." "So, what had you so upset yesterday?" "Nothing, I was just tired." "That has to be the saddest excuse I've ever heard." "Yeah, well. I was." "But - " "Leave it alone." I growled at him and he got the picture, shutting his mouth on the subject. "Well, I bought you something that I hope cheers you up some." "Why?" "Because even though you barely smile as it is, I would miss the ol' bitter-sweet Carla if this Screw-the-world Carla was to stay." With that said he handed me a cheap card that had a picture of a woman arching her eyebrow and a speech bubble next to her that read: "Don't you have better things to do in bed?" I couldn't help but crack a smile and softly punch Alex in the arm. He faked being hurt and groaned out loud. "Oh, no. Oh god - the agony of such brutal force!" He batted his eyes at me in fake shock and I fought to kiss him right there and then. He was always a nice guy, but he never acted so goofy around me before. I was grateful even through all my train wreck of emotions that he was trying so hard to make me smile when he didn't even know what I was hurt about. "You're such a sillyfuck." "Excuse me, but I don't think I fuck in a silly manner at all." I laughed out loud at that because one) I never heard him swear before and two) just how he stated the whole thing had me not only fighting back some giggles, but also some naughty images that sprung up with that sentence. I sighed at him with a small smile and was even more grateful he was here because I don't even remember the last time I actually laughed. Alex patted my thigh, smiled big and stood up to go to the bathroom. "Alex?" He turned half-way to me with a curious gleam in his eye. "Thanks. You know, for this cheap-ass card." He grinned evilly at me and bowed slightly. "I do have my charming wits to get me by." I shook my head, still smiling before getting out of bed and took a comfy seat on the couch, turning on the T.V. Just because I made it out of the bed didn't mean I wanted to leave the room at all. In fact, I was content just watching the Jerry Springer show and eating nothing but junk all day. When Alex came out he saw me lounged on the couch and shook his head. "Girl, you are the laziest person I know." I threw a small pillow at him which he caught with one swift motion before plopping next to me, watching the show with some interest. We stayed like that for most of the day and I'd like to think that Alex stayed just to keep me company and make sure I was okay. Even if that wasn't the case and he just didn't have any plans, I still liked the thought. It was a slow start, but Alex and I were gaining each others trust every day since that afternoon and soon we would be great friends, but that didn't help me at all. I wasn't planning on making any good friends here, I didn't even want to be my own friend, but what happened, happened and there was no turning back now. I still worried, though because I knew sometime soon we would start getting to know each other a lot more as our friendship would start to grow, but I didn't want my past to be brought up around him. I was starting to like having him around more and as much as I liked it, my evil half was still trying to push away in attempt to save myself from more crap I didn't need. Thinking of actually opening up to him scared me because I didn't want to seem weak to him, I didn't want him to see me crumble apart again, up close and I sure as hell didn't want to be falling for him. Things were going good just as much as they were going bad. Closed Down Ch. 03 "Hey Carla?" "What?" "Want to go to a movie tonight? I hear Harry Potter came out, like, a few days ago." I nearly choked on my coffee when I stared at him for a second. He was looking over at me curiously, laying upside on his bed with a novel in his hands. Obviously waiting for an answer that I clearly wasn't giving at the moment because I decided looking like a deer stuck in headlights was more appropriate. When I tried my best to quickly recover, I arched an eyebrow at him and cautiously asked why. "Cale and his girl are going and he asked me if we wanted to tag along, so I told him I'd ask and, well, now I'm waiting on you to answer me." "Uh, sure. I suppose that's okay." "Great! I'll let him know." As he reached for his cell phone and texted back to Cale, my mind was racing with frantic thoughts. Was this like a date to him? Do I try to look sexy? Okay, ha. No. Damnit! I had gone into the bathroom while he went back to his book and looked at myself in the mirror with some disgust. I never had problems with my looks, but considering how my life has gone to shit - I hadn't felt pretty or even remotely adorable in awhile. The movie would start in a half hour, which meant I had even less than that to try and doll up as best as I could. For the next 15 minutes I would fumble with my hair and makeup and eventually give up in hopeless anger before deciding to just stick with eyeliner and a ponytail. I grumbled at my reflection, not pleased, and left the bathroom. Alex was leaning against the main door, waiting for me with a warm smile. "You ready? I bet this is gonna be kickass." "Oh, uh, yeah. Totally." Real slick. Bet that got him wrapped around your little finger, dumbass. As we walked down to where we were going to meet up with Cale and his date, I think I was the only one between Alex and I feeling weird and out of place. He just did what he always did and let his eyes roam over certain things and seemed almost interested in them, even when he gazed over to a random cup on the floor. I let myself fall back a little so I could look at him without being caught and I watched him watch the world from his eyes. No matter what the hell he was looking at, he seemed to be searching for something in them. Not like he was lost, but sort of like he was just so curious about everything. I allowed myself a few moments of naughty thoughts, like how I would love to have him look at me like that, how much I wanted to kiss those small, pouty lips of his and how badly I wanted to grip his long, black hair so much I got tangled in them, tangled into him. Before I could move on into my fantasy, I saw a guy who seemed to be waving us over and I went back to my reality. The girl next to him seemed shy and stayed quiet the whole time we greeted one another. She gave me a small smile and returned it the best I could. Smiling felt weird to me now. Alex wasted no time grabbing her hand and leaning down to kiss it gently. "Ma'am, so nice to meet you." I knew he was being just his goofy self, but that blush that crept up onto her cheeks made me move a little on my feet in a twinge of jealousy. I had to look down at my feet before I became irrational and tore the poor girls head off. After some jokes and laughs we drove over to the movies. I was beyond nervous because I had no idea how to take this. Was it a date or just a friend thing? I had no clue, but I guessed I would find out inside. So, I tried not to seem too jittery as we got up for our tickets and headed to the theater after grabbing some snacks. "Dude, I'm so excited to see this movie!" Alex huffed in a rush which made me smile and Cale laugh right out loud. I was starting to see that Cale was a loud, wild guy which made no sense to how his date, Sarah, was, but I guess opposites attract right? "Only you would act like a girl over something so simple." "No, you have no idea how awesome this is! I've read these books, like, five times already!" "That doesn't surprise me." I replied softly as we sat in the back. Alex turned to me and gave me a grin that made my stomach do flips. We settled into our seats as the trailers began to run through. The entire time I payed attention to Alex on the left of me, how Alex leaned into me to whisper what movies looked good enough to see and what ones sucked, how his closeness made me shiver slightly. This man wasn't making any moves and we were already half-way through the movie. The realization was beginning to sink in that this wasn't a date, he just asked me as a friend. I felt beyond stupid thinking otherwise and since I had already ignored the first part of the movie, I ignored the rest of it and wallowed in my self-pity once more like a big baby. There wasn't anything to be upset about, he didn't do anything to hurt me, but I felt weird that I liked him so much, but he only saw me as a friend. A pointless, bitter friend that he would soon get tired of. When the movie ended, all of the three started happily discussing their favorite parts and what ones were stupid. I tried joining in, but I didn't even pay attention to it, so I gave up and kept quiet while we left the theater and drove home. I was quiet all the way back to our dorm, only giving Alex "Mm"s and "Huh."s when he talked, and I stayed quiet all the way to my bed where I prayed I would at least have a decent dream. ~~~~~~~ I slowly opened my eyes, relishing in the warmth under the covers. I hadn't felt this happy in so long. Where was I? Nothing seemed like it was at the dorm, everything was in different areas and the doors weren't even the same color. As I tried moving to sit up, I felt an arm pull me back and gasped loudly before feeling a pair of lips on the back of my neck. I had no idea who it was, but the feeling was so sensual and sweet that I relaxed back into their arms. As they continued their teasing against my neck, they kissed their way up until they hit my soft spot under my ear that caused me to sigh loudly. I felt them smile against my skin before licking that spot while running a soft hand up and down my leg, which now I realized were bare. I hardly had enough time to protest when the stranger managed to get on top of me and pin me down gently. I gasped out in shock when I realized who it was. Alex. "Alexander? What are you - " I was cut off by his lips covering mine in a slow, but demanding kiss. I was in no position to deny this because one) I was pinned down by a miniature Hulk and two) I didn't want to go anyways. I allowed myself to feel for the first time in a year and leaned into the kiss more deeply. He started pressing down on me a little more that caused me to groan in response since I felt his member rub against me slowly. We went at it like that for what seemed like years when the feel of his weight on me vanished. I quickly sat up and looked for him in a panic. "Alexander? Where are you? Alex!" I heard screams coming from what sounded like the door closest to me and I darted to it as fast as I could, ripping the door open and staring at a bruised and bloody Alex at my feet. It was all I could do to not scream before kneeling down and trying to grab him to me. My hands went right through like he was some sort of ghost. Alex started calling my name in agony, trying to reach out to me and I, in a desperate attempt to bring back what was mine, tried yanking him to me only to stumble back and have my hands go right through him again. "What the fuck!?" I was angry, scared, and confused. Through all my struggle I somehow saw a tiny bright light make it's way to Alex and I cried out in horror when I looked back down at him, his body was half gone and the rest of him was slowly vanishing as if he didn't exist. He saw what was happening and looked at me with the most saddest, frightened eyes ever. We reached for each other again, both of us crying in hopelessness when I heard a clear voice calling out to me. "Carla. Carla, wake up!" I furrowed my brows in confusion, but quickly let it go when I went back to trying to reach Alex, but when I put my hand out again, everything was black. I was just sitting in a black hole, looking for my Alex, crying out in my sorrow and heartbreak. I felt like a piece of me was ripped out and for no reason at all. My Alex was taken and I couldn't have him back at all. "Carla, honey, just wake up. I'm right here, I swear I'm right here!" There that voice was again, it sounded like Alex and I ran all around the dark room, calling out to him. As I kept hearing him, the blackness around me slowly turned bright and I clung to that deep voice I so badly needed to hear.n ~~~~~ I yelped a little as I felt myself being shaken slightly and the feeling of someone hovering over me. When I looked up I saw Alex bent down, inches from my face with a worried crease in his forehead. He was rubbing my arm gently as he realized I was awake now and leaned back some, sitting on the edge of my bed. "You were calling out my name in your sleep. You looked pretty scared too." I took in a shaky breath, still trying to fully wake up and calm down. I just stared at him and I guess he seemed to still be worried because he kept rubbing my arm, watching me as I laid there in confusion. I don't know if it was the fact that I wasn't yet awake enough to understand completely, or if I just really lost my marbles, but I was laying down to sitting up and clinging to him in a matter of seconds, crying softly and burying my face in his neck. He made a surprised noise before relaxing and holding me, rubbing my back in slow, steady circles. After awhile I stopped crying and must have been falling back asleep when I felt him try to lay me back and leave when I whimpered and looked at him through half-shut eyes. He seemed to debate on what to do, but as soon as he looked at me again, he climbed in next and pulled me to him, continuing to rub my back in slow circles and I eventually fell back asleep completely. When I woke up the next day, I was alone in my bed and looked over to see Alex on his computer, typing up a storm. The night before came back and I blushed all different shades of red before hiding my face into my pillow. Did I really snuggle to Alex like a baby all because of a bad dream? I heard a chuckle after I had groan and looked up to see him leaning back in his chair and smiling at me. "Finally up before noon, I see." "Oh, stuff it, man." "Tsk, tsk. Such a way to talk to your protector." I blushed at that and flipped him off before rolling on to my back. "You're a mega douche, you know that?" "Well, that's not how you acted last night, clinging to me like I was some teddy bear." MY teddy bear. "I had a bad dream and I wasn't fully awake when you tried waking me up. Sue me." "No, no. It's okay. You just seemed really out of it and crying hardcore. I didn't mind you needing to cuddle me, sometimes people need to feel safe." I looked over to him once more and caught him eyeing my exposed legs before snapping out of it and grinning at me before once again returning to his computer and continuing whatever it is he was doing. I don't think my blush left, it was here to stay. I sat up and stared over at him while he worked and wondered what he would have done if I had kissed him last night. The world may never know. I sighed as I ran a hand down my face, thinking how much more I could take before I fucking lost it.