9 comments/ 20632 views/ 9 favorites Chocolate Kisses Ch. 02 By: calibeachgirl Copyright @ calibeachgirl All rights reserved, 2011 Monday, December 14th, 1931 James Ewart's home El Segundo, California Eliza served breakfast and settled into her chair at the other end of the table next to the high chair that mysteriously appeared sometime during the night. It was well-used but well-loved. Someone's child... Bethany Rose sat next to James as if she was entitled. He said nothing while he ate but occasionally glanced at her with a slight smile. Eliza stared at Bethany... her own sister 'cuddling up' to a white man they actually knew nothing about except he had money, a nice house and something happened to shut him off from the rest of the world. While serving the food, she tried to ignore James' knee pressed up against Bethany's. Why was she obsessing with this? Whatever was going on... it was Bethany Rose's business, not hers. Was she jealous of her own sister? Did she want James for herself? She started to look at him in a different way... The radio was full of news about the Japanese invading China, someplace called Jehol. Who cares, Eliza thought, it was a world away, why should America care? There was enough problems right here to worry about. Eliza took all this in, especially the bright, almost new green dress her sister was now wearing and the string of pearls that magically appeared around her neck. Bethany Rose had become the man's mistress, of that she was jealously sure. Mistress... a high-priced whore... but, he was doing right by them, if that was the case. She, herself, had found ten impossibly wonderful dresses on a chair outside her bedroom door this morning. Wasn't any woman working in a man's house prostituting herself? Maybe, not in the obvious way, but just the same... what would you call replacing the wife's duties? In that, she knew she had also fallen into thinking that of herself. With the extra income now that she was officially working and the advantages of living within his household, they would do all right. At least, there was no miserable white woman telling her what to do and how to do it... those that never did a lick of work were always the 'experts.' In any household, the worse thing for a colored woman was a white woman. Eliza was glad when they left, having to watch them act like that. Shameless... and still she found herself becoming aroused again, thinking of him and her sister, thinking of him and just her... She turned the radio to music... Dream a little dream of me... Ozzie Nelson singing... It came to her that even though Bethany Rose called him 'James,' she was still calling him Mr. Ewart. Just as well... didn't want him to get any ideas about her. She wasn't a tramp... like her sister seemed to be. Going away to college and thinking she was better than... Eliza stared out the window. How could she think of her sister like that? If it wasn't for her, they'd still be living in that firetrap of a house trying to find something to eat. Whatever Bethany Rose was doing, Eliza vowed that moment to say nothing ever again and be grateful for what came their way... whatever came her way. This morning, James thought, should be interesting. Sam was by the door as they arrived and promptly relocked it. He wasn't surprised that James brought the colored woman with him. Even in the short time he was at James' house he could see there was something going on with them. The entire staff was waiting around the front of the store, wondering just what was going to happen now. Word of yesterday's events had already spread throughout town. The shock of seeing a colored woman with James caused a momentary series of comments for the rest of them but it quickly faded away as they quickly realized they were easily replaceable. "This is Miss Bethany Rose Carrolton. Last night, she spent considerable time trying to find ways to save money without anyone losing their job." That caught their attention and whatever grumbling there was seeing a colored woman quickly died out. "Thanks to Miss Carrolton, we found a way to give everyone a raise of 10 cents an hour." There was a stunned silence followed by some talk. Whatever prejudices the people had were being forgotten, at least for the moment. James knew it was going to be difficult for every one but hoped Bethany Rose was strong enough to handle it. He raised his hand, quieting them down. "Miss Carrolton is the new office manager. She will meet with each one of you during this week and adjust your schedule, if necessary. She will have the final say. Does everyone understand that?" Let's see how you like that. The response was subdued, but expected. "All right, everybody, let's get those door open and make some money." James turned to Susan. Blonde, blue-eyed Susan, everything that Bethany Rose wasn't... trying to grab him for a couple of years now... "Please see Miss Carrolton now; bring the work schedule with you. I'll keep down here." "Yes, sir." Susan hurried up the stairs to find Bethany Rose looking at the broken door. "That's from last night," she said, as if that explained everything. In a way, it did. The violent retake of what was rightfully his. "If it's all the same with you, I'd like to stand until this room is cleaned. It smells funny and it needs a door." Susan had to laugh. She saw what Bill had been doing right before his nose was broken. Smells funny, all right, smells like nasty sex... "Is there another room we can use?" Bethany now recognized the smell. It smelled like Henry when he came back from his whoring around. The two women stood side by side looking at the schedule. If it bothered Susan to be so close to a colored woman, she kept it to herself. At least the room didn't smell. They began comparing sales volume and total income to the number of people working. "After it happened," Susan said, "that's when Bill started taking more and more control of the daily activities. Mr. Ewart kinda stayed to himself. He didn't care anymore about anything. "I guess that's changed now, after yesterday and all." It was insane and exciting all at the same time. She didn't know aroused her more: seeing Bill fucking that cute little girl from produce or James kicking in the door and kicking Bill's ass. Too bad about the girl, though, just married and all... there's going to be trouble tonight at that house... unless she just shuts up. How long had that been going on, anyway? "After what happened?" "Why, the murders... I thought you knew. It was in all the papers. His two children were kidnapped by two..." "Two what?" Bethany rose knew the answer to that, otherwise, why the hesitation? "...two colored men four years ago." Bethany Rose could feel the disgust coming from Susan when she said 'colored.' There never was going to be an end to it, was there? No matter what... "I didn't know... I didn't have anything to do with it. You can't blame all of us for what some do. There's evil white men, too." Susan was surprised at the woman's directness. It was the first time she ever spoke with a colored woman and it wasn't at all like she expected. There was nothing neither servile nor illiterate about her. As a matter of fact, Susan realized, her English is better than mine. "I guess... you're right. I'm sorry, it's just that... it was so horrible... they... raped his wife. After the ransom was paid, they still killed the two little girls and dumped their bodies in a field. Those two little girls... they were only eight and ten and they used them. "They were seen and caught. Everyone wanted to lynch them right then and there but Mr. Ewart insisted on a fair trial. A fair trial! His family didn't get much of a fair trial." "What happened to his wife?" Bethany Rose was afraid she knew. "Those bastards... she was pregnant because of that and she... she killed herself one night with sleeping pills." "Oh, Jesus..." Bethany Rose almost fainted. How could this man take in two colored women and their children after something like that? What if he wanted revenge? What if they were the sacrifice to balance his loss? "Oh, Jesus..." Bethany Rose was scared now. "Oh, Jesus... This dress..." She was having a hard time standing and leaned against the large window that overlooked the grocery floor. "It's his wife's, isn't it?" Bethany Rose began to cry. Susan didn't really know what to do. If it had been a white woman, it would have been natural to hug and console her... but... this was a colored woman. Somehow, deep inside, Susan realized that Bethany Rose may have been a colored woman but she was still a woman, a woman who needed someone to help her. Susan let Bethany Rose lean into her and cry. There was something going on that she didn't understand, couldn't pretend to understand, was afraid to understand. "I'm sorry. I just... I don't know. You're the first person to tell me all this and my family is taking care of his house and... you don't think he'd do anything to us, do you? Revenge?" "Oh, God, no... he's the nicest man and..." "And, what? What were you going to say?" "As strange as this sounds, he didn't believe those two men did it. He even paid for the best lawyer he could find but people thought it was just misplaced grief. He met with them over and over and tried his best to prove their innocence. His wife's family never spoke to him again. "His whole thing was based on one thing his wife said, or didn't say. She never said it was colored men that did it and I'm sorry, Miss Carrolton, but you know as well as I do that if two colored men had done it that would have been the first thing she would have said." Bethany knew that was the truth. "What happened?" Bethany Rose knew what happened. It was the same thing that happened to every colored person accused of something. They were convicted and executed, guilty or not. "They were executed, weren't they?" Of course, they were. "Yes, they were. He's still convinced they were innocent." "Thank you. Now I understand a lot of things that were happening that didn't make any sense to me." Locked rooms, new dresses, empty pantry... "How did you meet? No offense, but there aren't any colored people in El Segundo. None! This is a pretty closed town when it comes to that." Bethany Rose wondered what to tell her... the truth was stranger than something she could spin up out of whole cloth. "He knew that I went to college and when we worked on the ledgers last night..." "You went to college?" Yeah, right. Hey, wait a minute... "Last night?" "Yes, I'm living with him... I mean, I'm living in his house. My sister is his housekeeper. I found the discrepancies and found out how to give everyone more money. "What time is it? Would you like to eat through lunch? I mean, if you wouldn't mind eating with a colored woman." "Well, I don't know about that, but I wouldn't mind eating lunch with you. Let me use the phone, there. "This is Susan. I want two... you like roast beef? I want two roast beef sandwiches and some potato salad and some cookies and a couple of Cokes... that's right, bring them up to the office. Thank you." Waiting for the food, the women went over the schedules again, trying to find more ways to make the workload equitable yet efficient. With a knock on the door, the bakery girl brought in the food. She looked cautiously at Susan and not so kindly at Bethany Rose. She put the food down, making sure to give each sandwich to each woman and started to leave. "Wait a minute," said Susan. "What's this?" Inside one of the sandwiches, the one put directly in front of Bethany Rose, were shards of broken glass. "You goddamn little, shitty bastard!" Susan looked at Bethany Rose who was staring at the deadly pieces of glass shining in the office light. "You want me to do it, or do you?" Do what? OH... Bethany Rose stood up. "You're fired. Get out." "You damn uppity nigger, just who you think you are, anyway, coming in here like you're somebody important. Thanks to you, Bill's gone." While that made no sense to Bethany Rose, the bakery girl's intentions had been quite clear to Susan. Jesus, another one of his little whores... How many were working here anyway? No wonder Bethany Rose said there were 'invisible' people working in the store. Susan picked up the phone and called the front desk. Sam, Sam, Sam... "Sam, I need you up here, right now." Hurry up, Sam... Sam was there in less than a moment. Thank God. "Please take her out, let her get her things and make sure she never comes back again, for anything... not even to shop. If you ever seen her again, call the police." Susan threw all the food into the trash can. Damn, what a waste of food with people starving out there, somewhere. "We're deducting the cost of the food from your last pay. Sam, get her out of here. C'mon, may I call you Bethany, Miss Carrolton? I mean, if it's OK, I mean... we haven't really gotten off to a good start here today, have we? "It's as much my fault as anyone else's, I guess. I'm going to make us a couple of good sandwiches." Over the afternoon, the two women talked about life. Susan learned how growing up colored gave someone such a different perspective on life and Bethany Rose learned that being a white woman wasn't necessarily the easiest thing, either. After lunch, this time with sliced ham and coleslaw, Bethany Rose started meeting with the employees, starting with the meat department. The biggest problem there was unsold product. The end of the day came sooner than she expected, surprised that it was already eight o'clock. James was ready to leave. He went upstairs and looked at the office door. "I'm going to have to get that fixed," he said, looking at his black shoe polish smeared on the side of the door. "Let's put it on the calendar for tomorrow. "Bethany Rose, are you ready to go? How was your day?" "It was fine, thank you." There was no sense in bothering him with the bakery girl. It was over, hopefully. As they left the store, she could feel everyone's eyes focused on her. His courtesy with the car door was sure to bring a gasp to the older white women leaving the store. "Aren't you afraid of business dropping off, you're being polite to me like I was a... white woman... and giving me a job here?" "Bethany Rose... do you honestly think I care what the people around here think about me? I've had enough grief from the people around here. "I'm treating you like a woman. Not a white woman, not a colored woman, a woman. Every woman deserves respect until she's proven she doesn't. "Besides, where are they going to shop? It's a long trip to Manhattan Beach or Hawthorne to get groceries and I own the supermarkets there, too. If they don't like what I'm doing, they can go somewhere else. I'm getting tired of living around here, anyway." Small town America was beating him down. Find two colored men, lynch 'em, case closed. The real killers were still out there, he could feel it in his bones. That scared her more than anything else. What if he decided to leave? Where would that leave her? ...or, her family? or, her? It was another silent ride home. She thought of it as home, even if it had only been a few days. If he left... She looked out the side window, watching the empty fields pass by. After dinner, which she wasn't very hungry for, she helped Eliza clear the table and put down the store's ledgers again. There was something missing, she was sure of it. The numbers should have added up, even taking into consideration the thievery of the former store manager. The El Segundo store was a hole in the ground sucking up his money. "Why are you working out here?" She didn't even hear him walk up. How did he do that? "There wasn't anywhere else, James." Was he wearing that cologne all day? Why didn't she notice it in the car? "Use the library. That's what it's for. C'mon, I'll help you." He took the heavy books from the table and carried them into the library for her. She could feel Eliza's eyes riveted on her back as she followed James into the library. Every time he did something nice, she knew he was pulling her into an impossible world of make-believe. Problem was, make-believe for whom? Either he didn't seem to understand what effect he was having on her... if he was like this with his lost wife, she must have been such a happy person. Every time they were together, she felt special, her heart beat faster and she was getting further and further into... into what? She knew she shouldn't fall into that trap. Women always fell into that trap... falling for someone and getting their hearts broken and this was the biggest trap of all. Right before midnight, she found it. It was a simple case of supply and demand economics. What sold before the 'Crash' wasn't going to sell now and yet it was still being ordered and then eventually thrown away or taken home by the workers. She could see how James, in his private, desperate hell and depending on others, would let something like that easily slip by. It was close to two in the morning when she had finished drawing up her list of items to be discontinued. She kissed him; without a sound, bringing her tongue out, circling him, opening her mouth, slowly taking him in, tasting his warm and slightly damp skin. She drew her head back as he started to push... "Wha.... hmmm..." "Bethany Rose, wake up, dear, you have to go to bed. C'mon, let me help you." She let him help her up and walk with her up the stairs. Eliza had been asleep for hours and to wake her would wake the children. Breaking all sense of propriety, he went into the room with her, turned down the bed and watched her lay down on the sheets. He covered her and waited until she was soundly asleep. Before he left, he bent down and kissed her forehead. Why did he do that? He didn't really know. It just seemed the right thing to do. Tuesday, December 15th, 1931 King's Supermarket El Segundo, California Bethany Rose walked to the next aisle and began checking for item after item on her list. As she expected, whenever there was a choice, people always bought the cheaper brand. If there were no choices and it became too expensive, people just left it on the shelf. Common sense economics didn't seem so common. What's this? Alka-Seltzer? Minor aches, pains, inflammation, fever, headache, heartburn, sour stomach, indigestion, and hangovers... how can you have a hangover when it's illegal to drink alcohol? Using a red pen, she checked off what should have been discontinued. Might as well leave this seltzer stuff. There's been plenty of hangovers in this store. The problem, of course, was what to do with the ones they already had. Whatever ideas she had would have to be approved by James, she knew that, but just the same, he made her feel as if she mattered... and she was beginning to believe, to him... she did. They could, of course, mark them down and sell them that way but it still wouldn't help that much. The expense of buying them and having them take up shelf space had already been lost and people wouldn't necessarily buy them anyway. She walked around the store, expecting the glances she received from the shoppers still unaccustomed to seeing her and smiling in return. "Good morning, ma'am. May I help you?" The idea of an articulate, college-educated colored woman offering to help a white woman who might have finished tenth grade before having the first of God knows how many children... it was almost too funny. By ten o'clock, she had set aside that problem and addressed two others. One problem she couldn't set aside was her growing, impossible fascination with James. He was starting to invade her dreams, causing her to awaken in the middle of the night, the sheets soaked from her passionate exertions. Chocolate Kisses Ch. 02 As much as it was becoming repetitious, she started interviewing workers again, this time from the produce department. Many of the older men never finished high school and the younger ones either had some college or graduated into this new economy with no better future in immediate sight. The three young women that Bill had been abusing had all been re-assigned to other parts of the supermarket. It was mind-numbing repetitious work: put stock on the shelf, put more stock on the shelf, come back later and 'face' the shelves with more stock on the shelf bringing everything nice and even for the next morning. Repeat the next day and the day after that. Each day, she had decided, as long as the weather permitted, to take a walk during her lunch break. A few days, already, it had rained even though the temperature stayed warm. It seemed like it never was cold in Southern California, just chilly once in a while. Until, of course, it did rain and everything flooded. The flatlands of Los Angeles just flooded and flooded and flooded. Getting out of the now scrubbed and painted office and away from the seemingly endless paperwork from seven markets and two department stores became a necessity as the days came and went. She laughed to herself. She still didn't know what he was paying her and she no longer cared. Just being with him was enough. She had it so bad for him it was funny. Even Eliza had stopped talking about it. "It's plain as the nose on your face, Bethany Rose; you're in love with him and there's nothing you can do about it." The only answer Bethany Rose gave her sister was a shy smile, her imagination filling the gaps in her life... an impossible life... unless she was willing to be his mistress. Was she? That was the question. Bethany Rose knew Eliza already thought she was sleeping with James and she decided to let her believe it. It was easier than trying to deny it. Inside the house, she already was his de-facto wife. The nightly sex in her dreams aroused and frustrated her. In her heart, it was the last piece to the puzzle of her life. Oh, she was so... Once, early on, Eliza had commented about fresh sheets each day for her bed but quickly shut up after the look Bethany gave her. The sheets continued to be changed without comment. She went down the next block and saw it: the answer to her question was staring her in the face. Frankenstein! But, it wasn't the movie monster that attracted her; it was what the theatre was doing to bring in customers. A lottery! Each Tuesday, there was a lottery for something. That was how to do it, she thought, but... more like a spin-the-wheel thing. She rushed back to the store to think it through. The store was already getting ready for Christmas. It wouldn't be surprising to find retailers starting after Thanksgiving... no, that couldn't be right. Who would do that? James was looking for something to make it special. With Christmas falling on a Friday, he hoped to close the store for at least Saturday, also, maybe even Sunday but that would never happen. There would be parties of one sort or another all weekend and that meant having the store open. The perfect calendar, of course, would have had Christmas on a Monday with an entire weekend of buying. Of course, with the economy as it was, it probably wouldn't have made any difference. By that afternoon, her plan had come together. Shoppers would get a spin for every dollar they spent and they were guaranteed to take something home from the expensive foods that no one could afford. Even if it didn't bring in more shoppers, it should make those that did shop willing to spend just a little more... she hoped. When she explained her plan to him that evening... "That's a wonderful idea! We need to get some advertising on this. Tomorrow, I want to show you the other stores." Late afternoon, Christmas Eve, 1931 Parsonage, Venice Southern Baptist Church Reverend Hunt stared at the blank piece of paper on his kitchen table as he had since breakfast. It was as empty as his mind seemed to be. Trying to reconcile the inconsistencies between Matthew and Luke... it was almost as there were two separate Christmas stories being told. He knew there was great debate concerning them but to his people, what difference would it have made? What difference did it make to anyone? The meaning is behind the message. How like Mary and Joseph had the country become, dependant on the goodwill and generosity of strangers. He was depressed. Even in what had been good times, most of his flock had little hope of bettering their lives. Times were never good for colored people for very long. He sought solace in the Old Testament. It seemed every time God's people strayed, He would smite them back to his righteous ways. 'From the Great War to now,' he thought, 'this country surely has strayed from God's own path.' "Micah?" "Yes, Ruby?" 'I hope that she has some sweets. She's been baking all day and the smell has been driving me crazy.' "Mr. Ewart's here, Micah... and, he's got a colored girl with him." "Colored girl? Another abandoned child? How old is she?" "There's nothing abandoned about this one and she ain't no child, either, Micah... no child, at all." "What do you mean?" As much as he loved his wife, Ruby, sometimes she had a habit of making him drag it out of her. He got up from the table. "Ain't no..." He stopped talking, looking out the window. "Oh, my..." "Oh, my, is right. You can stop staring, now." Ewart and two men were unloading the truck, carefully stacking cases of ham, fresh vegetables, bags of potatoes, flour and sugar out of the sun near the back of the little white church. Micah hurried outside to help but Ewart refused. As the reverend turned back to the parsonage, he saw his wife to talking to Ewart's colored girl. If she was his housemaid, no... too well dressed for that and why would he bring her along? If she was a friend, no... what white man had a colored woman as a friend, unless... Micah was shamed. Why did he so quickly think she was his... Listening to the women talk... her diction was better than his. "Micah, this is Bethany Rose Carrolton. Bethany, this is my husband, Micah." "Good afternoon, Bethany. Welcome to our little church." "Reverend Hunt. Jimmy... Mr. Ewart says he's known your for a few years?" Ruby looked intently at her. 'Jimmy... oh, God, there's only one reason a colored woman would be calling a white man...' "Yes, we met at the trial." She nodded her head. Christmas Eve was not the time to open that Pandora's Box. Everything always led back to the murders and the trial. "You brought candy?" "Wouldn't be Christmas without a little candy, Reverend." James handed him an envelope. "I've told you, you've done more than enough." "Listen, Reverend, I don't know how long I can keep doing this, so take it while I still can." "Thank you, then, my friend, thank you. We will surely pray for you. Would you like something to eat or drink? Ruby? Where'd she go?" "Bethany Rose, what a nice name." Bethany sat there with an expectant look on her face. "I suppose you'd like to know how we met James?" The ease with which she spoke... she must have known him for a long time. "We met at the trial. He got a good lawyer for our two boys." Bethany tensed. Oh, God. Bethany dropped her glass of lemonade and the sticky fluid covered the table. "What time will people come by?" "Pretty soon, now. You know how people are." He understood the unsaid sentiment. 'Nobody's coming as long as we're here.' "Being poor is nothing to be ashamed of. Whole damn country is poor. "Well, then, I guess we better be going. Merry Christmas, Reverend." "Uh..." "What?" "The girl..." "What about the girl?" "I, uh... never mind." "She's a friend, Reverend, that's all. She's my bookkeeper and her sister is my housekeeper. There's three little children, too. "And, no, I'm not sleeping with her. Anything else you want to know?" "I'm sorry, it's just..." "Strange? Look, I don't want to argue with you about who's living in my house with me and we might or might not be doing. "You and I have been through too much together for that, all right?" Silence. "Reverend?" "You're right, I'm sorry." "It's... never mind." They went inside the house to find his helpers sheepishly eating ham sandwiches and drinking lemonade. James motioned them to stay seated. He saw Bethany leaning against the kitchen counter, her arms folded across her chest. 'Jesus, all that does is make her...' He shook his head to rattle the thought out of his head. "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Hunt. You wouldn't happen to have one of those wonderful ham sandwiches for me, would you?" "Why, of course, Mr. Ewart, please, sit down, take this chair." The two men thanked the Hunts for the food and returned the store. While it was Mrs. Hunt who offered the food, it was Bethany who made and brought it to him, none of which was lost on either Micah or Ruby. 'Bookkeeper, my...' Micah thought. 'Indeed.' Ruby was smiling, further shocking her husband. 'Men,' she smirked, 'so foolish when it came to that. Something every girl over the age of please, please, please knew.' With Bethany ready to leave after promising to visit again, James drove his car back to the market. With the store closed tomorrow, it made no sense to keep the fresh holiday food and he planned to give it all away to the employees. At least, that's how it started but over the years had become a tradition and each year he ordered enough extra food to take care of everyone. Each store manager was responsible for what went out the door and knew to keep detailed records. He knew there was going to be some pilferage but times were bad and people desperate. He was willing to over look it once a year. Sometimes he thought he didn't care if the stores stayed open or not. As the last shopper left the store and the doors were locked, each employee was given a list of approved items they could take. At the top of everyone's list was everything for fresh turkey dinner and the bakery had worked all morning to bake extra pies and cookies. There were some that still thought he was giving away what he couldn't sell but most knew the truth. They had seen the extra food come in each year and watched the bakery girls pull pies and cookies out of the ovens all day long. Almost the last thing before leaving was a box of Good Humor ice cream bars. James was the only one in Los Angeles that had a franchise for a store and he every opportunity he had to give away ice cream bars to children in the store. Bringing Bethany Rose and her family into his home had brought him back to life. The love and memories for his family would always be in his heart but he found out that his heart seemed to have more room than he believed possible. And so that Christmas, as each person left the store, Bethany Rose handed out their pay envelopes with an extra bonus of twenty-five dollars. 'Old' John was one of the last ones to leave. He had no family and didn't seem to have any friends, either. He had an unfriendly opinion about everyone and everything and some thought he was in the Klan. And yet, when he took the envelope from Bethany, he was actually polite which amazed those waiting behind him. James wasn't sure if he could continue the practice next year or not and wasn't even sure if he was still going to own the stores. He was tired of the constant problems they brought even in good times and with the Depression now in its second year it was becoming even more upsetting. If he did find a way to cash out and move... he was going to ask Bethany Rose to come with him. She deserved at least that much from him. Evening, Christmas Eve, 1931 That evening, Bethany Rose and Eliza listened to Amos and Andy while James worked in the library. Bethany Rose felt she was missing something and then knew it was him. She already loved him more than an employer, more than a friend... and she still didn't know how much he was paying her and she still didn't care. Today, alone, he had given her family more than they ever had in their entire lives. John was still watching the Lionel train, its colorful yellow and orange cars chasing the little steam locomotive around and around. Mary Lizbeth was playing with her new doll, serving her tea and the new chocolate-chip cookies. Her face was smeared with melted chocolate and Eliza was so happy she didn't even care. One-year-old Glory didn't get anything special. She was already fast asleep upstairs in the crib that also magically appeared. And that bedroom stayed locked. Bethany Rose now knew what memories lay behind that door and was content to let them rest. When the show was over, Eliza kissed her sister goodnight, got the children and went to bed. Bethany Rose looked at the light under the library door. He was probably still reading, she thought. After going to the kitchen and making some hot chocolate with the Hershey's syrup, she put some of the chocolate cookies on a plate and knocked on his door. "Jimmy?" He shouldn't be alone on Christmas night. Knowing his history now, it would be cruel to leave him alone. He deserved more than that. She heard a shuffle as his slippers almost dragged across the rug and then the door opened. His tired face immediately smiled and he opened the door wide. "Bethany Rose." It sounded like a prayer, the way he said it, a mix of joy and... love? Was she reading too much into it, putting her own desires ahead of common sense? She put the tray on his desk and turned. "James, I thought..." She never finished. He took her into his arms and kissed her. Not a 'lustful, you better have sex with me' kiss, but a gentle 'I think I love you' kiss. His lips teased hers as he gently pressed against her, his arms holding her to him, caressing her back. As tall as she was, he was still taller and easily entrapped her in his affectionate embrace. "Are you sure..." she asked, wondering the same thing of herself. Ever since he had treated her like a person instead of a thing, she became more and more his. Even if he looked like a toad, she would have liked him but she had left 'like' so far behind it wasn't even in her mind. "James, James..." she didn't want him to stop and her kisses became more passionate as his hands moved lower on her dress, moving below her waist and cupping her to him, pressing his arousal against her. Things were rapidly moving out of control... she almost didn't care, almost welcomed what could come, eager to finally sleep with a man that cared for her. She felt herself become so wet it shocked her. "James, we can't... you're white and I'm..." Oh, why am I stopping him? I've wanted this since almost the day I've met him. "Shhhhh, Bethany Rose. I'm in love with you, don't you know?" He held her tighter, almost painfully so. There was no doubt, his erection was rock hard and as her hand moved down to it, she was startled. My God, oh, my God... although the nurse in her knew that it would eventually fit and oh so nicely, the girl in her was hesitant... almost scared. "But, Jimmy, it's against the law. There's nothing we can do. We can't..." Oh, Jesus, don't stop touching me. They had moved slowly across the room and he sat down on the overstuffed chair in the corner, bringing her onto his lap, her arm around his shoulders. They continued to kiss, his hands continued to explore, her lips opened and she searched for his tongue while he began to unbutton her dress. And then, she stiffened and pushed him back. "James, I'm not going to be your whore." Oh, Shit! Shit! Shit! Why did I say that? He doesn't deserve that? "Oh, Jesus, Jimmy, I didn't mean that." He stopped, his breathing ragged. "Bethany Rose, I've never thought of you that way... ever. You should know that." His hands moved just a little but seemed to have lost their enthusiasm. He stopped, again. "Forgive me, Bethany, I just am so stupid, I..." She stopped whatever he was going to say by kissing him back. "Jimmy," she quietly whispered, kissing him again, starting to cry, "I love you but I don't want to ruin what we might have. What you want to do, what I want to do, nothing can ever come from it. You know that and I know that. That's just the way it is. "And even if we do love each other enough to be lovers, once we cross that line you know there's no going back, ever. You'll be different, I'll be different... we'll be different, Jimmy. What if it destroys what we have here? What if I get pregnant? What if you want me to leave? Then, what?" He sat there with her still on his lap, her arms around his neck, her full lips so close to his... he sat there, thinking about everything she said. His heart was still beating hard and she could feel his erection pushing against her butt, its pulsing rhythm joining hers as they both slowly descended from their mutual arousal. She leaned her head against his, her teary eyes closed, her lips finally closing as her breathing slowed. "Goodnight, Jimmy." She tried to get up but he wouldn't let her. No, no, no... don't get up, please, don't get up. He refused to let her go. No, no, no... "You haven't had your hot chocolate and cookies. Please, don't try to run away from me, the house isn't that big and I know all the hiding spots. You're going to make Santa feel so bad he'll never get done tonight." She laughed. It sounded like the wind chimes that hung outside. Bethany Rose slowly picked up a mug and brought it to his lips and carefully tipped it up. "No marshmallows, huh?" No marshmallows... "No, all chocolate." Just like me, Jimmy... She took a sip from the same mug. Scandalous behavior throughout the country... but not in here, his country, her country, their own private country. No damn stupid laws, here. "More chocolate?" she playfully asked but in the back of her mind, she wasn't sure what chocolate she had in mind. If her grandmother could see her, now, born a slave and here she was, kissing a white man while sitting on his lap. Grandmother would just say nothing's changed, child, nothing's changed. "Jimmy, I better leave before I can't. Please, let me get up." 'Please, beg me to stay...' He released his hold on her body but not on her heart. She looked back at him for just a moment as he watched her leave. She shut the door behind her and ran upstairs to her room. Chocolate Kisses Ch. 03 copyright @ calibeachgirl All rights reserved, 2011 Christmas morning, 1931 James Ewart's home El Segundo, California Breakfast was a crowded but almost silent affair. The children had all eaten much earlier and were playing with more Christmas gifts that had magically appeared under the small but beautiful tree. Eliza knew her sister and she knew something had happened last night. She heard the door close and the sound of her sister's crying. Yet, this morning, she was smiling at Mr. Ewart and calling him 'Jimmy.' Whatever happened had changed their relationship and it must have been in a very personal matter, calling him 'Jimmy,' now in front of her. Her sister had let him do something to her that she probably shouldn't. Santa went up the chimney, did he? And, instead of morning coffee, she made him hot chocolate. Eliza watched the two sitting there, together, almost touching each other, sitting there like newlyweds. Newlyweds, white newlyweds... Henry never treated her that way, that... She still wasn't comfortable sitting at the table with the white man and her sister sitting there, just as you please, with her hand on his like chocolate sauce on that vanilla ice cream he liked so much. Vanilla for a white man... what would you have expected? "Eliza, when breakfast is over, would you be so kind as to take care of the kitchen, Bethany Rose and I have some work to do in the library. Thank you." A short while later, the two left the table, holding hands. Eliza knew this was going to be a bad thing, a very bad thing, one that probably was going to get them all killed if those two weren't careful. She looked at her three children, eating full meals for the first time in their lives and at least, behind these walls, protected from the cruel world. How long that would last, though, was another thing, altogether. Eliza stared at the closed doors. She just knew what that white man and her sister were doing. Couldn't even wait until night time now, had to do it in the morning with the children awake and her standing here? Was it so bad, though? How many colored women prostituted themselves to have enough to eat, even if most of it went to some pimp that beat them and treated them like trash? At least this way, she was with one man who seemed to actually like her and she was protected from being beat down and getting some horrific disease or becoming an addicted whore. Maybe, it wouldn't be so bad, after all. Until it all blew up, of course... The house had come alive again with the high-pitched sound of children's laughter and the slap of running feet on the polished wooden floors. It was a sound that he had missed ever since... The children were eating good food and it showed in the new brightness of their eyes and smiles on their faces. Their initial shyness had disappeared and they were now impatiently waiting for 'Uncle Jim' to come home with Aunt 'Bet'ny' each evening. Although he still pretended to insist on the necessity of his evening solitude, it was soon clear to her he was just hiding behind a façade and would often spend that time playing with the children outside. He even dug an area for them to grow their own flowers and vegetables. Without trying, he had become the center of their little universe, all of them. While Eliza was happy that her children were being cared for as if they were his own, she was worried that something would come and destroy what small paradise they had with him. And as each day passed, she liked him more and more. Later that Christmas morning, he took the two older children outside to play a little before lunch. Lizbeth asked him if he was their new daddy. James was afraid something like that would eventually happen but he was still unprepared for the question. How could he ever be prepared for the question? He swung her little body up into the air and kissed her nose just as he did so many times before the... His eyes clouded over and he gently set her down onto the grass and went into the house. Closing the door to his bedroom, he lay on the bed staring at the ceiling. Over four years gone by and it hurt as if it were yesterday. He knew the killers were still out there, living free while he was locked in an emotional prison he could not seem to escape... nor was he sure that he even wanted to. Even with his increasing and very unsettling attraction to Bethany Rose, he was still deeply in love with his lost wife and his two little angels and if he believed in prayer, it would have been to them. He didn't come down for the rest of the day and refused to answer Eliza's knock whenever she came with his food. "Mr. Ewart, you need to eat, sir. Please, sir, open the door." She had not called him sir since the first day. There was no response and she eventually went away each time, shaking her head. If he was to be saved, Bethany Rose was going to have to do it. Bethany Rose knew why he had locked himself away and it worried her. She found herself caring for him more and more. His face was the first image in her heart when she awoke and her last waking inspiration at night. Her fantasies became more and more about him and she would awaken to find herself aroused from whatever dream she just had. In her heart, she was afraid she would eventually give herself to him, damn the consequences... damn the white people filled with hatred for her just because she looked differently than they did. What did she ever do to them besides exist? She knew they weren't all that way. Look at James and what he had done for her. There were good people everywhere. It was her frustration speaking out to the walls of her mind. Whether he would accept what little she had to offer was another question entirely. She knew he liked her. She knew he cared for her. But, she wondered, did he care for her that way? Did he care for her enough, that way? Would he ever care for her that way? Every time she looked in the mirror, she saw her answer. Her milk chocolate face stared back at her. While she thought herself at least pleasant to look at, she knew the color issue was always going to stand between them. It was an impossible dream and the most she could hope for was to be his mistress... his colored mistress. At least that was still legal in California, if frowned upon. For all their self-righteousness, white men and colored women had been having sex since before American slavery existed and if you were to believe the rumors, there were white women who preferred to sleep with colored men. She wondered why. Except for the obvious color difference, there was no difference. Her sister Eliza had told her that. Even the great Thomas Jefferson was said to take his wife's colored half-sister as his mistress. And... it was illegal. She wondered if it would ever change. Probably not, there was too much resentment never to be forgiven or forgotten. It was the whisper of her voice more than the soft knock on the door that caught his attention. "James, please open the door." She strained to hear if he was even moving. He might even be asleep although it was only eight in the evening. "Jimmy, it's me, Bethany Rose. Please, open the door, Jimmy." Finally, the sound of shuffling feet met her ears and the door clicked open. "Bethany Rose... what is it?" She wanted to push the door open and just go in. She wanted to do a lot of things that she would never be able to... with him. Why was she always thinking of him? He was beginning to rule her life as well as her heart. Even if somehow she did sleep with him, how could they live as man and wife openly? It would be a most illicit affair behind closed doors even if it was legal to have a colored mistress living with you. Who would have to know? And if she became with child, who was to say it was his? Everyone knew colored people had no morality when it came to sex. Would she be satisfied with that? Would he later find someone else, a blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty like his lost wife? She found herself willing to risk it all and tell him how she felt even if it meant she would have to... no; she couldn't do that to her sister and the children. It was better to just say nothing and continue the way it was, if only for the children's sake. "Bethany?" he said, bringing her back to the present. He left the door open and went back to the bed. He lay down, putting his hands under his head and went back to staring at the ceiling. She had never been in his room. The short night she was the housekeeper there had been no need and since then her sister had moved in and taken that position. It was a nice room, larger than the one he had given her, with a southern exposure looking toward the peninsula. The photographs on the dresser enclosed behind glass more memories of his lost family. Lost lives captured forever in black and white... smiling faces staring out at her wondering who she was and who she would be. What seemed forever was only a moment or two and she heard him call her again. "Bethany... is there something you wanted?" She shut the door and turned off the lights. "Yes, there is."