15 comments/ 40681 views/ 4 favorites Better as a Memory By: woodmanone There is no sex in this story, sorry. As always constructive critiques and comments are welcomed and appreciated. Thanks for reading my story. Enjoy. * "You should go. It will clear up a lot of problems that we have," Jessie (Jessica) told me. "I don't want to go, don't need to go, don't plan to go," I responded. "And you're the one with the problem." The ongoing debate continues. The action being debated was the 10 year reunion of my high school class. We had been discussing, more like a spirited debate really, for the last six weeks about whether I would go to the reunion. Jessie was adamant that she wanted me to go and I was just as insistent that I wasn't going. We have Jessica Bailey on one side of the question and me, James (not Jim please) Leitch with the opposing position. Jessie was my girl friend of two years and now my fiancée for one. There is no way I can tell you how I feel about her. I won't go into soul mate, love of my life etc. etc. but put all of them on steroids and you'll have an idea of how much I love her. I believe she reciprocates my feelings. I met Jessie in college when I was working on an advanced degree. She was in her senior year carrying an education major and I was working on a Masters in Education. Just two wanna be teachers. Well I had been teaching for 3 years and returned for my Masters so I could teach at the college level. Later I would go for a Phd. I must admit that it wasn't her brain that attracted me to her in the beginning. Jessie isn't tall at 5' 5" and has a surprisingly voluptuous body without being overweight or chubby. She has a very muscular frame, which I didn't find out until later. Jessie has auburn hair and the bluest eyes ever, at least in my experience. We match up very well as I am 5' 9". So Jessie can wear 4" high heels if she wants to and I am still taller than her. (She does wear them in the privacy of our home, but I'm getting ahead of my story) If I were shorter I would be called broad or husky but a better description would be solid and stocky. Just a normal guy and certainly no movie star. ******** I knew one of her professors very well as he was my faculty advisor. So I sometimes sat in on his class. As I was leaving his class room after a lecture, I bumped into Jessie and knocked her arm load of books to the floor. She began to berate me for not watching where I was going, calling me a clumsy jerk and other compliments. One look at Jessie and I was cold cocked, smitten, and any other term that means "love at first sight". Not being a romantic type of guy, I have never believed in the "love at first sight" cliché. Until I met Jessie that is. I stood there and listened to her berate me as a fool because I was mesmerized by her. Finally I came back to life and helped her pick up her books. "I'm sorry; I should have watched where I was going." For the first time Jessie actually looked at the idiot that had bumped into her. The insults stopped in mid rant. It was Jessie's turn to stare at me. Later Jessie told me that she felt the same reaction to me that I had to her. "I should have watched when I was walking, not your fault," Jessie said trying to make up for her insults. I walked her to her next class, carrying her books for her. Now isn't that sweet, just like in high school. Never mind. When Jessie came out of her class I was still there, waiting for her. I wasn't stalking her but I wasn't going to let her get away without taking a shot. "The least I can do after tackling you like a line backer is take you to dinner," I told her. I know not the best way to get her interested. What can I say, I don't have game. "My name is James Leitch, by the way." Jessie introduced herself and accepted my invitation. That was the beginning and the end, the beginning of our life together and the end of our being alone. I was considered by many, so I have been told, a very eligible bachelor and meeting Jessie took me off the market. After that first dinner we were almost inseparable. I guess we had both found what we wanted. It took a whole three months of dating before Jessie moved into my apartment. It was sort of silly to maintain two apartments because we were always with each other. Two years to the day, actually on the anniversary of our "running" into each other I proposed to Jessie. Almost before I could get the ring out of the box she was shouting "yes". We set a wedding date for the first week after she finished her preliminary work on her masters. That would take about eighteen months because she was going to school and working at the same time. I offered to support her during that period but she wanted to earn her own way. Jessie had a couple of months before she reached her goal when I received the invitation to my high school reunion. It was the second of these invitations I had received but this one was hand written and signed. I was sitting in our living room going through the mail, read the invitation, studied the signature, and chuck it into file 13, you know the trash can. Jessie apparently had perused the mail before handing it to me. When I threw the invitation away, she dug it out of the trash, read it, including the signature and handed it back to me. "Aren't you going to your reunion?" And with that question, Jessie started our month long argument. "No, I don't want to go," I answered with conviction. "I think you should go. Bobbie certainly wants you to go because she sent a hand written invite. You won't be satisfied until you bury that past relationship," she said with a little heat. "And put an end to it." "No, you're the one not satisfied because I have put an end to it .... That relationship is dead! I'm not going and that's final. Please don't mention it again." I put my foot down. Yeah we all know how much good that does, don't we men? Why all this debate about a high school reunion you ask. I will have to go back into my history and life to explain. Please bear with me. ***************** I have had two serious romantic relationships in my life. My first relationship, my first love, is the one that was causing all the turmoil. The girl or women in question was Barbara Ann Johnson, known as Bobbie. I met Bobbie in high school and she was a blond blue eyed beauty, and she wanted to be a party girl. I was a party guy and was just the one to teach Bobbie. We dated a few times and started going "steady" in our senior year. Again, I was in love and it wasn't "puppy love" but the real thing. I was 18 and knew everything about everything at least in my mind. Our relationship quickly went past the making out in the back seat of a car or the couch at her house while her parents were upstairs asleep. I had learned a few things as most boys do and was happy to teach Bobbie everything I knew She was an avid student and a quick learner. Bobbie was a green eyed, very well built blond cheerleader type. She wasn't a cheerleader, that took too much physical effort on her part, but she looked like the stereotypical cheerleader. She had this quirky little smile and full lips that could wind me up at any time. She was almost 5' 7" and had these long legs that went from the ground all the way to heaven. I took or she gave me her virginity on prom night. Whichever way you care to look at it, the deed was accomplished in my car. The car was an old 65 Chevy Impala with a huge play area known as the back seat. It wasn't the last time that my car was our play pen. I loved that car and really missed it when it finally died. I went to a small local college that was dedicated to the educational field as I had wanted to be a teacher for a couple of years. For whatever reason, Bobbie went to the same school. I have no idea why. Maybe she wanted to party with the college crowd. Bobbie and I talked about getting married the week after our college graduation and I gave her an engagement ring. We made it to our sophomore year before trouble raised its ugly head. I should have realized something was amiss one Friday evening at her house. We were both still living with our parents and had set up a routine for our weekends. On Friday nights we would spend the evening watching T.V. or movies either at her house or mine. Saturday was our date night and we would go somewhere like dinner or a movie or a dance and adjourn to my car most of the time. Sometimes we skipped the actual date part and went right to the sexy part. On this particular Friday evening, Bobbie seemed a little standoffish as she had been for about a week. I put it down to a female thing and didn't really think too much about it. Until the phone call, that is. When the phone rang, Bobbie jumped up like a shot to answer it. As I listened Bobbie's side of that conversation alarm bells should have been going off in my mind. They didn't because I was young, in love, and trusted my fiancée. Bobbie was on the phone for over thirty minutes. It was very discourteous, something you wouldn't do to a stranger, much less your boyfriend slash fiancée. I could hear Bobbie's side of the call and if I didn't know better I would say she was flirting with whoever she was talking to. I sat there getting madder and madder; I even went out on the front porch and thought about leaving. In hindsight, I should have. Finally I heard Bobbie say that she would see whoever she was talking to very soon and she hung up. "Who was that?" I asked with anger. "Oh, it was Julie my girlfriend from high school," Bobbie answered. "We going to get together soon and go shopping or something." "You certainly ignored me for a long time. That wasn't a very polite thing to do Bobbie." "Well you shouldn't be so possessive James." The conversation went downhill from there. After about twenty minutes of this back and forth bickering, I said, "Your actions were insulting. I'm going because I might say something I shouldn't. See you tomorrow night." On my way home in my big empty car, I thought again that Bobbie's actions might be because of some female, PMS type thing. I'm a guy, I don't know about things like that and I don't pay attention to those things unless they interfere with our play time. On Saturday at 5:00, I called Bobbie to see what time to pick her up for our date. Her mother told me that Bobbie had gone out with Julie and wasn't due back until late. Okay, now what the hell? Bobbie never told me about cancelling our date or mentioned going out with Julie instead. Now my feeble brain began to see that something was haywire. Bobbie's behavior the last two weeks, the phone call and flirting last night, and now standing me up combined to put a little seed of doubt in my mind. Maybe she and I weren't as solid as I thought. Now that I thought about it she had not made any comments about our wedding in the last month. Normally at least every other week, Bobbie would talk about where to get married or how big of a wedding or where we would go on the honeymoon. Nothing for the last month. When I arrived at my home I sat in the car for a few minutes trying to think of what I should do. Should I be reactive or should I be proactive. Should I wait until tomorrow for Bobbie to call me or should I call her? Or should I go looking for her tonight? If I found she was doing something more than just a night out with a girlfriend, could I be adult about it and keep from busting some guys head? I didn't know about being adult but I did know I couldn't sit at home waiting. Firing up the big Impala, I began my search for my wayward fiancée. I didn't think Bobbie would run all over town and there were only a few places close at hand to search. I got lucky at Tulley's, the third bar I checked. If you can call it lucky finding your so called fiancée dancing and drinking with some other guy. The bar had a back door and I used it to slip into the place. I had done this at the other places too. If Bobbie was "misbehaving", I didn't want her to see me. At least not until I had proof that she couldn't deny. Sitting at a table near a small dance floor was the merry group. Bobbie and a girl I assumed was Julie were sitting with three guys having a good old time. Two of the guys took turns dancing and flirting with Julie, but Bobbie and the other guy were acting like a couple. They danced, flirted, with each other and ever kissed a few times. At that moment Bobbie was gone, as far as I was concerned. No matter what happened later, we were done. When Bobbie and the guy danced, his hands were never someplace they shouldn't be and they weren't making out on the dance floor or at the table. There were a few hugs and a few light kisses but nothing really bad. None of what she was doing would pass the fiancée approval test you understand, but it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that she was doing anything slutty or anything; it was that Bobbie was doing anything to begin with. Now proactive or reactive? Reactive called for me to approach the group, knock the guy on his ass and break up with Bobbie. I'm not a coward, in fact my temper has led me into more fights than I care to remember, but there were three of them. In addition Bobbie's "guy" was three to four inches taller and 30 to 40 pounds heavier than me. Reacting to the situation at the bar could lead to me getting my ass kicked and maybe going to jail, a hell of a combination. Discretion is the better part of valor. In other words don't write checks that your body can't cash. Being proactive called for me to go home and prepare for my next meeting with Bobbie. I would prepare my assault on her and her actions and try to hurt her verbally as much as she had hurt me. Make no mistake, we were done. The next day, Sunday, Bobbie called me about 2:00. "Where are you?" "I'm obviously at home Bobbie. Why?" "We were supposed to go on a picnic at 1:00 and I'm waiting for you to come by and get me. Why are you so late?" "I'll be right over, but I don't think we will be going on any picnic. We need to talk." (For a change a man got to say those four words that mean nothing but trouble.) "You're right we do need to talk, but we can do it at the picnic James." "There won't be a damned picnic. We will talk at your house, I'll be right there." I hung up and began the short drive to Bobbies. I know I sounded like I had everything under control but the truth was that I was hurting badly. Bobbie had destroyed our relationship and our future together. I couldn't believe what she had done to us, to me. If I wasn't such a macho type, I would be crying like a baby. Before this was over I may still cry. Bobbie opened her door and tried to give me a hug but I walked passed her into the living room. I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I was just mad about her missing our date. I'm sure she thought she could talk me out of my mood. We sat down on the sofa side by side. "You wanted to talk, so talk Bobbie. I don't have all day." My abrupt manner shook her a little. Bobbie began her tale. She was sorry about last night, but she had gone shopping with Julie and forgot about the time. Julie wanted to see a certain movie so Bobbie called to ask me to join them, but my mother said I was gone. Bobbie apologized for going with Julie and not calling earlier in the day. "So you guys went to the movies huh? Okay, anything else you want to tell me?" "Well I was going to wait until you were in a better mood, but yes there is something else. James, I love you but things are moving a little fast between us and I think we need to have a "time out". You know, sort of let things slow down a little. Just for a couple of months. I'm sure I want to marry you but I need a little space." Bobbie was almost beaming, she was so proud of herself. "Jesus Bobbie we been going together for three years, how can you say things are going too fast?" Will you be dating other guys during our "time out" or will you be sitting at home on Saturday nights?" Bobbie hesitated a little then answered, "Well I will be socializing but I wouldn't call it dating." "When will this "time out" start?" "Next week is the Board of Education dance and I thought we could go to the dance as planned and start the next week." Bobbie had this all planned out. She would get her chump to pay for the dinner dance and then have him wait on the sidelines for a couple of fun filled months. "After our two months apart, we can get back to our lives together." Now it was my turn. "If this slow down is supposed to start after next weekend, why were you out drinking, dancing, and making out with a guy last night at Tulley's? The bar closed at midnight but your mother said you didn't get home until 2 A.M. Movies my ass, Bobbie. You and Julie had this set up for the last month and I'm supposed to just sit on the sidelines while you go out and party. Don't think so girl." Bobbie was shocked that I knew about last night. She started to deny or explain or whatever and put her hand on my knee. I took her hand and pulled off the engagement ring. "If you're going to "socialize" during our time away from each other, you won't be engaged so you won't need this. "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining, Bobbie. This is nothing but an excuse for you to make it with some friends of Julie. Its' got nothing to do with things going too fast and everything to do with you wanting a little on the side." She began to try and deny and lie her way out of this bullshit, but I cut her off. "I loved you so much and we could have been happy together. But that wasn't enough for you, you wanted me to sit and wait for you while you play around. Not going to happen. You're nothing but a lying, cheating, manipulating bitch as far as I'm concerned. You destroyed us Bobbie, I'm out of here; we are done. I won't wish you good luck because I hope you fall on your ass." I stood up, put the ring in my pocket and walked to the door. Behind me Bobbie was saying things like, we didn't do anything last night, I love you James, please don't leave and all the other crap you would expect. The drive home was very hard, my mind was spinning and I was trying very hard not to cry. The next month was the hardest of my young life. And then Bobbie came back to haunt me at the end of the month. I'm don't think she planned it but she got to me one more time. Bull Bollinger was her unwitting messenger Bill (Bull) Bollinger was a transfer to our school. He had a class with one of my buddies and started to hang around with us. Actually he was a pretty good guy, funny, friendly, and interesting to talk with. On Friday afternoon after our last class, six or seven of us were sitting around having a beer or six and talking about our plans for the weekend. BBQs, water skiing, picnics at the lake and several normal activities were discussed. "What are you going to do this weekend Bull?" One of my friends asked him. Now I'm sure that if my buddy knew what a firestorm he was going to bring on, he would have never asked that question. "You know, I may just get screwed to death this weekend," Bull said. "I gave a girl who missed her ride a lift home on Tuesday and as a thank you she gave me a blow job that made me think she was trying to suck my brains out. It was the best I've ever had. Then she said wait until Saturday night and she would give me a proper thank you." There were a chorus of "yeah sure" and I bet and other sounds of disbelief. "You're telling us about one of your dreams Bull," someone told him. "No, I swear. In fact she said she knows all of you and even mentioned you by name several times, James." "Oh, what's her name?" I just had to ask, didn't I? "She said her name was Barbara Ann something, wait she said she goes by Bobbie, yeah Bobbie Johnson, that's it," Bull said. Did you ever notice that every once in awhile you run into someone you should never have messed with? That's Bull Bollinger. He was blond, blue eyed and a damned Adonis. At 6' 3 or 4" and 250 pounds he was cut and chiseled like a marble statue. This was the guy that I punched. Better as a Memory Proactive not reactive remember, well I didn't remember. I forgot all about proactive and reacted and hit the guy. It was like a bug got into his eye, he blinked and retaliated. Lying on the ground I heard him asking the other guys why I hit him. As I was shaking my head to clear it, they told him that Bobbie and I had been engaged until a month ago. "Oh shit James, I didn't know. I'm sorry. I wouldn't have said anything if I had know," Bull responded to the information. I forgot all about that discretion is the better part of valor bullshit as I got up. This time I manage to get in three punches before finding myself on my back again. Bull kept saying he was sorry and I kept getting up and trying to hit him. The only reason he didn't win the fight by TKO was that I refused to stay down. He knocked me down seven times but I got up eight. The last punch I threw he just ducked and watched me go down all by myself. I think he was afraid he was going to break his hands on my face and that's why he left. It certainly wasn't anything I did to force him to leave. I guess it was pretty funny; Bull hit me I hit the ground and I got up to start all over again. Nobody was laughing though, least of all me. Not only was my face broken, my broken heart was back to punish me some more. I couldn't and didn't want to believe that Bobbie had become such a slut. Maybe I felt responsible because I had introduced Bobbie to sex. I don't know, but the way I hurt before was nothing compared to the way I was hurting now. Not my face, but my heart. On Monday my face was swollen in several places and a rainbow of colors, none pretty. The reaction was probably similar to what the Frankenstein monster got, people turning away in horror. At least that's how I saw it. No one wanted to look me in the eye and when they talked to me they looked anywhere but at my face. I don't blame them; it even scared me that morning when I was trying to shave. That afternoon after my classes when I got to my Chevy, Bull was leaning against the front fender. He held up his hands as I approached. "I don't want any trouble James. I came to apologize again. If I had known about you and Bobbie I wouldn't have said anything. I'm sorry. If it makes any difference I called Bobbie Friday night and canceled our date. I wouldn't take her out on a bet." Like I said before, Bull was actually a pretty good guy. "I was going to find you sometime this week and apologize to you Bull. I shouldn't have gone off the deep end like that. I never really believed that stuff about seeing red, but when you talked about Bobbie that's what happened. I'm sorry if I hurt your hands," I said to him as I started laughing. He cracked up and laughed with me. We sort of got into a giggling fit; we would stop laughing then look at each other and start all over again. A suggestion was made to retire to a nearby bar and continue our discussion. "I know just the place Bull. You want to ride with me or follow me?" We jumped into my car and I drove us to Tulley's. That was where the crap with Bobbie started; maybe this could be the place it ended too. Two months later Bobbie took one more shot at me. I hadn't talked to her and only saw her around school once in awhile as our classes didn't coincide. She surprised me by calling me at home. Bobbie's sorority was having a casual dance and she asked me to go with her. "I don't think so Bobbie. To be honest I have moved on and don't see a reason to take a step back." "Come on James. I need a date and rather go with a friend instead of some stranger. That's all it will be, a couple of friends having a good time." I thought I had gotten over Bobbie but when I heard her voice I got all excited again. I think they call that being a glutton for punishment. I'm thinking, maybe she regrets what she did; it couldn't hurt to go with her as a friend and other rationalizations. Truth was the memory of Bobbie and our good times together were a lot closer to the surface than I realized. I wasn't as far along getting over her as I thought. "Okay Bobbie, I'll pick you up at 7:00." I should have known better. Bobbie's mother answered the door and seemed really glad to see me. When Bobbie came down the stairs she looked good enough to cause a riot. She was wearing a summer dress that buttoned down the front. When we got into my boat of a car, she made a remark about me still having the play pen. When we got to the dance a couple of the top and bottom buttons of the dress had been undone. This made the dress about ten times as sexy. After finding our table, we had a couple of drinks, talked, danced and just had a good time. An hour into the dance, Bobbie asked me to go with her to get her sweater out of my car. When we got to the car, she said the sweater was in the back and as I climbed in to find it she followed me into the car. "The two of us back in the playpen. Seems like old time, doesn't it? Do you remember the miles we put on this back seat James? I miss you James and I still love you. Don't you still feel something for me?" I really had no idea where this was going until Bobbie started to check my tonsils with her tongue. After that the little head took over and all good sense went out the window. It's a good thing I had just had new shocks put on the Impala because the old ones would have never held up. It was like old times and we tried to set new standards in pleasuring each other. I guess she wanted to show me what her graduate courses had taught her. In my defense, I had been celibate since Bobbie and I had broken up. I didn't intend to be but it had just happened. I just couldn't get interested in any other girls, so no nookie for James for over three months. Anyway, I was lost when she stuck her tongue down my throat. After about an hour we went back into the dance. Bobbie had a "canary that ate the cat" smile on her face. These type of dances usually lasted about five hours, usually from 8:00 to 1:00. Another hour or so later when I got back from the bar, Bobbie wasn't at our table. I thought she had gone to the ladies room. I waited for about twenty minutes before I ask one of Bobbie's sorority sisters if she had seen Bobbie. She told me she saw Bobbie going outside with one of the guys from the Sigma Tau frat. Well hell, she wouldn't do it to me again would she? It turned out that yes she would. I stepped outside and at the back side of the parking lot I saw a car bouncing up and down. You remember the old song, "if the car's rocking don't come knocking", the car was really rocking. Apparently the Sigma Tau guy didn't have new shocks like I did. I walked over to the car and Bobbie was straddling the guy in the front seat. Her dress was pulled down so she was naked above the waist. Bobbie's panties were hanging on the rear view mirror. There was no doubt as to what was going on. I guess it was my shadow that caused Bobbie to look up and see me. She got a horrified look on her face and tried to disengage from the guy. "Don't stop now Bobbie; if you hurry you can get five or six more before the dance is over." I walked off and left her with her new playmate. There is an old saying that goes "Love will make you crazy". Love certainly screwed up my life. At the beginning of the night, I thought Bobbie and I might get something going again. Crazy huh? Anyway, Bobbie left school two weeks later at the semester break. I'm glad she did because I don't know if I could have stayed at that school seeing her almost every day. I graduated with a 3.5 GPA and got my teaching certificate. Started my teaching career and my new life. One last thing, remember Bull? He and I became very good friends. We even discussed Bobbie a few times. He never did date her, even though she called him a few times. I even dated his sister for a while but she and I were better friends that lovers. Bull and I spent a lot of time together and grew close. ********************** Back to the future. Things were a little cool between Jessie and I for a few days after our latest go around about the reunion. Jessie wanted to persuade me to attend my class reunion and I refused to let her talk to me about it and would walk out of the room if she persisted. Finally Jessie got her way but she didn't fight fair, she used tactics that only women can use. I was sitting in my chair reading and she came in and plopped down in my lap. Before our little tiff this was not unusual for her to do. What made it unusual this time is that she was sans clothing. She was as naked as a newborn baby. Unfair, unfair. Jessie had an unfair advantage in our argument. "James, please go to the reunion. It's important to me," Jessie pleaded with me. "I want you to make sure that you don't have any feeling for Bobbie." "Why can't you believe me? I told you Bobbie was out of my life a long time ago. Why do you insist that I still feel something for her?" Jessie finally confessed why she was obsessed over my early relationship with Bobbie. It seems that just before I got the invitation, my friend Bull told Jessie about our fight and why it happened. He was telling her the story of how he and I met. Bull didn't realize the questions that the story would raise in Jessie's mind. Then my mother had mentioned a few times how hard I took it when Bobbie and I broke up. Mom wasn't trying to cause any trouble, but Jessie asked her about Bobbie after talking to Bull. Thanks a lot buddy, thanks a lot Mom. I guess in hindsight, I never should have mentioned that Bobbie was my first real love. I didn't help my position with that bit of info. (Now just between us guys, I have to admit that once in awhile I did think about Bobbie and the fun we had in the back seat of that Impala. I remembered how great she looked laying naked on that big back seat as she reached for me. But then I would remember how she lied and cheated and that would erase all the good memories.) In addition, in the last six weeks there had been eight messages on our voice mail from Bobbie. She personally invited me to the reunion and asked that I return her calls. Unfortunately I wasn't able to delete all of those messages. Jessie listened to a couple of them and asked me about them. I admitted that there had been four others. Dummy, when would I learn to keep my mouth shut? "James I love you, but if you don't go to the reunion I think we should postpone the wedding for awhile." Jessie really shocked me with that statement. "Are you breaking up with me, Jessie?" I was scared and pissed off, all at the same time. "No I'm not, unless you want me to. I just want to be sure that you are over Bobbie before we get married. I don't want her shadow hanging over us after we're married." "Damn it, how many times do I have to tell you that I have no feelings for Bobbie. You know the story, you know how she hurt me not just once but several times so how could I feel anything but contempt and anger for her?" Jessie and I debated, argued, talked and discussed the subject for the next 30 minutes; all the while she was sitting on my lap, nude. Women don't fight fair. I finally agreed to go to the reunion. I had one final question for Jessie, which I hoped would change her mind. "Just for the sake of argument, I know this won't happen, but just say I see Bobbie and discover that I still love her. Aren't you afraid of losing me?" Maybe this little threat would change Jessie's mind. "Yes, I am. But I would rather it happen now than after we're married. I might get over it now but if I lost you after our wedding, I don't know if I could take it." No more was said on the subject that night; we adjourned to our bedroom to discuss other important matters. The reunion was scheduled as a two day weekend event. Friday was for registration, a meet and greet brunch and a dinner dance that evening. Saturday there were some side trips around the neighborhood, a tour of the old school building, and another dinner dance in the evening. We lived about hundred and fifty miles away, so I would drive up Friday morning and back on Sunday morning. Jessie insisted that I stay overnight because the nearly three hour drive would be too dangerous after the dinner dances. She wouldn't agree to my suggestion that I skip the dances. I got to the hotel with enough time to check into my room, get registered with the reunion committee and go to the brunch. Before I went to the brunch, I called Jessie to let her know I had arrived safely and give her my room number. To tell the truth, I had a good time at the brunch. I got to see a lot of my old friends of course, even the girl I dated before Bobbie. I felt pretty good about myself as I had aged better than a lot of the "in" crowd or "jocks". Jessie liked to run so I had run with her and still had the same waist size as I did in high school. Never hurts to feed the ego. The only drawback at the brunch was that I was always on guard waiting for Bobbie to show up. But she never came to the brunch. If she had attended, after all those phone calls and the handwritten invitation, I know she would have found me. Back in my room, I made sure my clothes for the evening were in order. Jessie had made me buy two new suits and almost a whole new wardrobe just for the reunion. The evening was to start with drinks at 6:00 with dinner at 7:00 and the dance following. I called Jessie again and suggested that I come home. She asked about Bobbie and I had to admit that I hadn't seen her yet. Stay there she ordered me. I was standing at the bar after dinner and felt two rather nice points of pressure on my back and someone's hands go over my eyes. "Guess who," Bobbie said. She was the only one that would greet me that way. "Hello Bobbie," I responded and turned around. This was the moment of truth. In spite of what I told Jessie the big question remained, did I still love or have feelings for Bobbie? In the first two minutes of our meeting, I was vindicated. The only feeling I had for Bobbie was a little residual anger at the way she had treated me. There she was in all her glory and I do mean in all her glory. She looked fantastic. Bobbie was wearing a tight dress that ended about 4 inches above her knees showing off those great legs. The dress was very low cut and showed a lot of cleavage. Bobbie grabbed me...gave me a tonsil searching kiss, took my arm and led me over to her table. No one was sitting there so we were as alone as we were going to get in that room. Bobbie moved her chair closer to me and began her attack. I knew what she had in mind very quickly. She wanted to know if I came alone and smiled like a cat with a mouse when I said that I had. Her next question was what room was I in. To distract her "Operation Get James", I asked her to dance. We danced for a couple of songs and went back to the table. During the dance Bobbie left no doubt that she wasn't wearing a bra and not much in the way of panties. She had taken my hand and rubbed it across her rear. I got myself disengaged from the humping and took her back to the table. I thought the bar would run out of bourbon the way Bobbie was drinking. It was funny, other than getting a little more amorous you couldn't really tell that she had been drinking. Thank god for Mr. Lippincott one of my favorite teachers. He had been the favorite of most of the students, mainly because he was only about ten years older than the Seniors and was sort of cool. Mr. Lippincott may have been a little older than us, but it was obvious he found the grown up Bobbie fascinating. He asked her to dance and as they went to the dance floor I went to the bar. I needed a refill on my bourbon after that hump fest on the dance floor with Bobbie. I drank one at the bar and got another to take back to the table. As I walked back, I watched Bobbie dance with our teacher. They were actually dancing, not humping, and I could see Bobbie a lot better. She had always had a great body, but I didn't remember her having a bubble butt. And believe me I should know. She did now. Her breasts seemed to be larger too. Now I know that a women's breast can get bigger after having a child, but Bobbie didn't have any children. When she came back to the table I took a closer look and could see the telltale signs of a face lift. A face lift at 28 or 29, she must have been rode hard and put away wet. Apparently Bobbie never got over being a party girl and it was catching up with her. Bobbie sat down next to me and took my bourbon and knocked it back like water. "That old coot asked me to meet him in his room. Can you imagine that?" She seemed a little upset at his suggestion. "He's only about ten years older than us Bobbie. I wouldn't exactly call him an old coot. Never mind that, tell me about what you've been doing since college." For the next three hours and about ten dances, I heard about Bobbie's life. She married some guy she met at her new school about the same time I graduated. The marriage lasted for less than a year. Bobbie said she found him in bed with a neighbor. With Bobbie's past history, I think it might have been her caught in the act not her husband. Bobbie was married a second time but that lasted less than six months and they had it annulled instead of getting a divorce. Apparently, she came out of the second marriage better off financially that when she went in. During our talk, Bobbie kept putting her hand on my knee as she talked to me. Sometimes she would run her hand up the inside of my thigh until I stopped her. She would sit back and give me an evil grin. Bobbie had no doubt that she and I would be doing the horizontal mambo later that evening. I danced a few times with other friends but most of the night was spent with Bobbie. Around 11:30, I decided to call it a night. Bobbie suggested that she go with me to my room. Suggest hell, she said, "let's go to your room and try and break the bed." I declined her invitation and told her I was really tired. I told her I had gone to work early and then drove to the reunion and was a little trashed. She said okay but with a gleam in her eyes. In my room I stripped off my clothes and put on a pajama bottom. I sleep in the nude, but thought I should wear something until I went to bed. Thirty minutes and two of those little bottles of bourbon later I was ready for bed. There was a knock on my door just as I was ready to strip. What now, I thought. Whoever was at the door had their finger over the peep hole but I could guess who it was. When I opened the door, there was Bobbie with a bottle of bourbon and two glasses from the bar. Bobbie had changed clothes and was wearing one of the plush robes from the hotel. She said, "New in town sailor, want a little company?" She saw the look on my face and said, "Come on James, just one drink for old times' sake." I knew better than to let her in, but I found I wasn't even that angry with her anymore. The only emotion I had was one of pity. "Okay Bobbie, one drink. But if you don't behave, I'll toss you out on your ass." With a big smile she strutted by me into the room. By the time I shut the door, put on a shirt and joined her at the table she had two large drinks poured. As I sipped my drink, Bobbie knocked hers back quickly and poured herself another one. "What are your plans now Bobbie?" I didn't really care but I was trying to make conversation. "I hoped to talk you into a little fun tonight and then see where we could go from there." "No Bobbie, I'm engaged and going to be married in a couple of months. We finished our run a long time ago." "I know you're engaged, her name is Jessica isn't it? I still love you James, it's always been you. My first marriage was because I was lonely and the second was for money. I want you now." "I'm not like you Bobbie; I can't screw around on someone I love. No, I'm going to marry Jessie." Better as a Memory "I bet she can't give you anything like this." Saying that Bobbie stood up and dropped her robe. She was totally nude; I mean no sexy lingerie, no hair, no nothing. Totally nude. I don't care how much work she might have had done, she looked utterly desirable. But she wasn't Jessie. Picking up the robe, I put it around her shoulders and said, "Bobbie you even more beautiful than I remembered, but I'm in love with Jessie and I'm going to marry her. Please go back to your room." As she left she asked, "Can we dance some more tomorrow night?" "I won't be here, I'm going back home tomorrow morning, back to Jessie," I told her and closed the door on Bobbie and that part of my life forever. When Bobbie dropped the robe, my little head was saying come on, just one night, no one will know. The big head was shouting, shut up you little bastard. Be strong James. I'm glad the big head won. Lying on my bed, I went over my history with Bobbie, including tonight and I realized that I the only thing I felt was sorrow that her life was so screwed up. She would never find what Jessie and I have. I must have dozed off but woke up about four A.M. My thoughts were on Jessie, so I got up and packed. It's less than three hours home and if I hurried I could have breakfast with Jessie. Maybe I could spend a little time to show her how much I love her. Motivation is the key to your almost all your actions. Case in point: It took me almost three hours to drive to the reunion at an average of about 60MPH. The drive home took less than two hours at an average of just over 85MPH. See motivation, I didn't want to go to the damn reunion and I couldn't wait to get home. I was lucky that there were no highway patrol cars out that morning. Jessie taking a shower when I walked into our house. To surprise her I made coffee and waited for her in the kitchen. She came into the kitchen with a puzzled look on her face because she could smell the coffee and then saw me at the kitchen table. "Hi honey, I made coffee," I told her with a solemn look on my face. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the reunion until tomorrow." Jessie was concerned because of my bearing and the look I gave her. "The whole reason you wanted me to go to the reunion was to see Bobbie and find out if I still have any feelings for her. Well I saw her, spent most of last night at her table, and even danced with her several times. And I found out what I, actually what you, wanted to know. I do have feelings for Bobbie." Jessie sat down like her legs gave out. The disappointment on her face was heartbreaking. Maybe I shouldn't have started this little charade. I was trying to be cute but all I did was to scare Jessie. Sometimes I'm too dumb for words. "I'm glad I went because it proved that I was right. I don't love Bobbie, I did a long time ago but she destroyed whatever love I had for her by her own actions." Jessie had started to cry and now she began to grin like a kid on Christmas morning. She jumped up and came around to table and sat in my lap. There she goes with that lap thing again. We kissed and then she did start to cry, but they were happy tears. "Damn you, you scared me to death, with your talk about feelings," Jessie scolded me. I told Jessie the whole story, everything. From meeting Bobbie at the dance, dancing with her, her attempts at sexual play, and her invitation. I even told her about Bobbie dropping the robe in my room. None of it mattered, I explained because all I could think of was you, honey. "You said you had feeling for her though, what kind of feelings?" Jessie seemed a little confused. "I feel disgust because of what she has become. I feel anger for the things she did to that hurt and destroyed us. But mostly, I feel sorry for her, Bobbie is a very sad person and she has really messed up her life." I tried to get Jessie to understand. I stopped to get coffee for both of us, pulled Jessie back on my lap and continued, "I accomplished my, well your, mission last night. There was no reason for me to stay any longer; especially somewhere I didn't want to be in the first place. I would have been home last night, but I had been drinking and it wasn't a good idea to drive. Now, can we please just get married Jessie. I love you and only you." I did get three phone calls over the next ten days from Bobbie. The first two times, Jessie had answered the phone and just handed it to me. Bobbie told me again that she still loved me and wanted to see me again, of course I refused. It wasn't until the second call that I realized that Bobbie was trying to piss off Jessie enough that she would leave me. The third time Bobbie called Jessie answered the phone and walked outside to talk to her. To this day I don't know what Jessie told her, but Bobbie never called again. (Ten years later we heard that Bobbie had died of liver failure due to acute alcohol poisoning. I didn't like her but it was still sad to hear that she died, she was only 39. What a waste.) ******************** Jessie and I were married three months after the reunion. Bull Bollinger was my best man and after the toasts, after the required dances, and after the garter and bouquet toss; Bull and I stepped outside for some fresh air. We talked about the events since we first met and the many changes there had been in our lives. Bull asked about the reunion and Bobbie as he had never heard the complete story of my adventure. I told him everything, including Bobbie being naked in my room. And that I basically tossed her out. "How did she look? Weren't you tempted, at least a little bit?" He asked in disbelief. "Appreciative of the scenery, yes. Tempted, no. I had already been there, done that, and have the scars to prove it. And if you ever mention Bobbie again to Jessie, I will finish kicking your ass like I started that day at school." That statement got a big laugh from both of us. But Bull had one more question on the subject and promised it would be his last. "Do you have any feelings left for Bobbie? Do you still think about her?" I thought for a few seconds which seemed much longer. I reminisced about my history with Bobbie, through both the good times and the bad. Finally I shook my head no and replied, "She's better as a memory." Quote: Life goes on.