8 comments/ 10460 views/ 4 favorites An Earth Day Voice By: dreampilot79 She had looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary and from the way his mother had been humming while serving him his morning pancakes, it seemed the canary was still singing in her belly. Alan wondered why that should be. He had to admit she looked good with a smile on her face, but he hadn't seen his mother crack a smile in two years. His brain kept searching for reasons why she could be smiling. He was thinking about his prim, proper mother, and he could never attribute her good mood to the same kind of thing that was going to put a smile on his face for the remainder of the day. Alan looked at the petite form jumping naked into her bed and realized that his short period of reverie had cost him the race to discard clothing and hop into bed first. Losing had it's advantages. He had a perfect view of a beautiful naked woman in motion. His eyes took in Jill's twinkling blue ones, before roaming over the rest of her. He liked the way the slight winter pallor of her skin set off the dark brownish dots of her smallish nipples in her largish breasts. He liked the tender curve of her almost flat belly and the soft tangle of her honey blond pubic hair. Mostly he liked the way her arms reached out to him in a sweet invitation to crush his naked body against hers. He lay beside her and felt her arms wrap around him. Their eyes met in a sparkling flash before their lips closed on each other. Her warm pliant body pulled him close and he felt her tongue reach out to duel with his. Alan's eyes closed and a sigh escaped his lips as so many wonderful feelings flooded over him. Every sense stimulated; so many physical sensations. The feel of her soft breasts crushed against his chest, stimulating the endings of the hairs there. The touch of her belly against his. The feel of the soft skin of her back in his hands. The touch of his already erect cock against her stomach as their legs entwined. The smell of her hair wafted on the air, the slight hint of fruit from her shampoo, the stronger sweeter smell of her perfume. He tasted the mint of her toothpaste as his mind still saw her naked form. Their kiss became more passionate, more urgent as his hands pulled her tighter against him. Knowing that this beautiful woman wanted him inflamed his very being. He was filled with desire for her, the intense need of youth. He broke the contact of his lips with hers as his kisses moved to her neck and then her shoulder. She moved further away to give him room as her hand slipped from his back to find his erect manhood. Her hand wrapped around his firm cock. The smooth warmth of his hardness sent warm chills through her and knowing how much this man wanted her, warmed her. She shuddered as his lips found and sucked in her nipple, her back arched involuntarily as she felt the fire shooting through her. Usually, she liked his long slow foreplay, but today they didn't have much time. She pushed Alan onto his back and then slid her body on top of his. Jill squiggled back until she felt his erection hitting close to the mark. They both wiggled until it lined up and then while she watched his eyes she slid down taking all of his cock into her wet warm welcoming pussy. Alan felt her eyes on his as his senses were overwhelmed by the feel of her velvety pussy slowly consuming his manhood.. Each millimeter of her envelopment thrilled him. He watched her eyes flutter as she took the last of him. His lips met hers as his arms wrapped around her, for the barest of moments he allowed them to stay still and then his arms rocked her as his hips rolled into her. Jill began to move, slamming her body into his as his hips matched her rhythm. Their breathing came faster. It felt like their bodies were in sync. Their hearts beat together, faster and faster to match the passion building in them, they breathed faster, harder as their bodies rocked in rhythm, locked together into one squirming mass of humanity. Alan felt her muscles tensing as she sucked in breath. Her pussy, already tightly wrapped around him began to spasm as her breath came in a gasp and her tongue stopped moving in his mouth. Her orgasm triggered the pressure in him. He slammed his hips into her and exploded, filling her with his juice. She continued to gasp for a moment after he was still and then collapsed on top of him. Neither said anything as they tried to get their breath back. She just lay atop him, limp and satisfied as she felt his cock slowly shrinking inside her. They lay there in never never land for several minutes, lost in the soft glow. Jill got up and went to her private bathroom. Alan, needing to relieve himself and flush the plumbing, got up and padded naked into the hallway. He went to the bathroom in the hall and relieved himself, careful to leave no clue to his having been there before going back to Jill's bedroom and letting her clean him with a warm wet washcloth from her bathroom. He wore a smile on his face; the smile Jill had put there, the smile he would keep for the rest of the day. Had he been able to see himself, he might have recognized the same smile his mother had worn this morning, but never, ever would he attribute his virginal (he must be the result of the second immaculate conception) mother's smile to the same cause. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Amanda Collins was still smiling. She thought back to the strong warm arms that had held her last night and the thought warmed her still. She could feel the questioning eyes of the other girls in the office , wondering why she might be so happy. Only Pam could really guess, but even she did not really know. It had been two years since her husband had died, and three since she had felt a man's embrace. The last year with Jerry had been a year of pure hell after 19 years of wonderful marriage. Jerry had been her childhood sweetheart, her only love, the only man she had ever known. They had been lovers, friends, partners in life. He had been everything she had dreamed of. Until the blinding headaches had hit him. The brain cancer had caused Jerry's headaches, but none of the withering pain that some other kinds of cancer could. Amanda didn't know what would have been worse, dealing with his pain or the dementia he had gone through. In the last two months, he had not known who she or Alan were and attacked them verbally every time he saw them. He had not been the man she knew. Something had consumed her in these last two years. She wasn't quite sure what it was. The grief of losing the love of her life or the horror of watching him die. It didn't matter; she had not wanted human contact, except with her now almost adult son. She could not imagine being so attached to another human being again. She wasn't ready to love again. There was an empty spot in her soul. She could not imagine loving another man the way she had Jerry. She could not deal with the idea of the pain of that love turned back against her again. She couldn't bear the idea of the pain of watching another love die. Jerry had thought that he was leaving her enough in life insurance to set her up, but it hadn't worked out that way. Half a million dollars had sounded like a huge amount, until Amanda had faced the bills from two brain surgeries and six months in the hospital that had preceded Jerry's death. His health insurance had paid a huge amount, but it had run out. Amanda had managed to pay for his funeral and most other bills, but when she was done, there was nothing left. Amanda went through a gray life. She worked and she had moped at home. Most nights she avoided crying but she felt at the edge every night. She missed him so much and yet.... After that last year, she would never admit it but Jerry's death had been a relief. Part of her was consumed by the guilt of that relief. She just went on. Living for no other purpose than to breathe another breath. Alan was a joy, but he was becoming a man. She felt some guilt for him as well. Alan was a blessing. He had been planning to go to an Ivy League school even though it would have been a major economic drain on the family. With his father's death had come a real change in his plans. Fortunately, they lived in a college town and Alan had decided to go to work and attend the state college in town. Amanda was the chief deputy in the City Clerk's office. She did the bulk of the work while the clerk was a political figure, elected each four years. Amanda had gotten Alan his job with the sanitation department and it worked perfectly for him. He was the chief (in fact only) sorter in the recycling department. They let him work whatever hours he wanted so long as the sorting got done. He put in a full day, but usually not eight straight hours. He worked early in the morning, and between classes, sometimes in the evening. They were quite happy with him; he always had things ready when the trucks picked up the material to recycle. She was really proud of him, for the work he did, for the grades he got and for how he had stepped up and accepted his responsibility. Every time he went to work she felt guilt for him having to put himself through school when he should be having fun. She blamed herself that he seemed to have no social life. He never seemed to go on dates; he was always home for her. Sometimes she wondered what she would do when he graduated and found a job. Could she deal with living alone? Pam Green was the closest thing to a friend that Amanda had and in an oblique way, was responsible for the smile on Amanda's face. Pam had taken her to lunch yesterday. Amanda had been talking about how she felt that Alan needed more of a social life. The regret, the guilt had dripped through. "Girl," Pam had said, "You need to quit worrying about Alan's love life and get yourself laid." Amanda had sputtered. "I'm not ready for a relationship yet." "I wasn't talking about a new husband. I said you needed to get laid. A zip-less fuck if you will.. Whatever it takes, but YOU have needs too and you've been ignoring that. Maybe you aren't ready to get back into the game, but you need to at least get on the sidelines. A good fuck would do you worlds of good." "I couldn't do anything like that. I don't even know how to date. No one has even asked me out." "Amanda, you're what 42? You're sexy as hell. The only reason you haven't been asked out is because you walk around with a scowl on your face and you never put yourself in a place where a man could ask you out." "I'm no slut and no one could replace Jerry. I am not ready to date, and I'm not putting myself anywhere where I could mislead anyone." "You don't have to mislead anyone. You just need to get laid and that doesn't make you a slut. It makes you human." "Thanks for the advice, Pam but I wouldn't know where to look for someone who just wants a sexual fling." "Have you looked at our city attorney lately? He lost his wife about the same time you lost Jerry and he walks around with that same lost puppy dog look on his face that you do. He's rich, he's a hunk and he needs laid as bad as you do. You really should ask him." "What are you suggesting I do? Walk up to him after the sanitation meeting tonight and just say.... "Mark, I really need a no strings attached fuck. What are you doing tonight?"" "That might work." Pam giggled. "Tell me how it comes out. He's a hunk. If I weren't married, I'd ask him myself. Hell, tell me if he's any good in bed. If he's as good as he looks, maybe I'll ask him anyway. In the mean time, I'll call Suzy in his office and suggest that he ask you out for a roll in the hay." "You wouldn't dare!" Real horror showed in Amanda's eyes. She knew she had to sit beside Mark during tonight's Sanitation Board meeting. It would be an uncomfortable meeting wondering if Pam had lived up to her threat. "Don't worry, Suzy would never sick him on you for nothing but a fuck." Before they left the restaurant, Amanda had gone into the ladies room and taken a good look at herself. Her light brown hair shimmered in the mirror. Her stomach was flat; she turned sideways and liked the way her breasts protruded from her chest. Yes, she was still attractive and then she looked at her face and her eyes were flat. There was none of the flare that had once been there. She suddenly realized that the fun had gone from her life. "Maybe you do need a touch of human contact. A good fuck just might do you some good!", She told herself. The rest of the day had gone just like the rest of every other day. She went home and made Alan dinner, then hurried off to the Sanitation board meeting where she had to take notes. She settled into her chair. Mark was usually early, but tonight he came in at the very last minute. Amanda had been hoping that he might miss the meeting altogether. Still it had been a relief that she didn't have to talk to him before the proceedings got started. The sanitation department was the shittiest of the city functions and the shittiest of the meetings. They dealt with the waste treatment plant, sewer lines and new installations, citizens problems with either the lines or their bills, garbage collection and disposal, and of course the recycling department. Most of the items on the agenda had already been taken care of by the Department head but the board examined everything and approved or disapproved. It was boring in the extreme, except for the bids for work beyond the ability of the department. As she sat there, she stole a few looks from the corner of her eye at the man beside her. Mark Kelly was indeed attractive. He was just over 6 feet tall and probably just under 200 pounds. His face was pleasant and he moved with the grace of an athlete. Amanda's face flushed from a lot of things. She wondered if Suzy had indeed whispered in Mark's ear and she wondered what she thought of it. The idea of a sexual encounter was bubbling from her sub-conscience and bubbling right into her cotton undies. She felt the warm wetness that had been so absent from her life for the last few years. She squirmed through the meeting, torn between dread of dealing with Mark, and a thrill that she hadn't expected. By the end, she had a firm resolve to turn him down if he said anything. The funny thing was that he looked just as uncomfortable as she was. The meeting was unusually short. They had finished in a mere twenty minutes. Amanda always had to be the last to leave. She was the one with the keys. Mark had not moved as the meeting ended, today no one had questions for him and he sat there, looking down at the notes before him. He said nothing, he just looked down. Finally everyone had left and she was just waiting for him. "Amanda, I have to talk to you." It was almost a whisper, an apology, but his eyes never left the pad in front of him. "I'm listening." She said. "Amanda, you're a beautiful woman, and I don't know you that well, but I think a really nice one too. It's not that I don't think you're attractive, but I'm not ready to date anyone yet." "Mark, I don't know who told you what, but I'm not interested in dating you..... Oh damn!, I didn't mean it that way. You're fine, but it hasn't been that long, and I'm not ready to see anyone. I just couldn't deal with it." "So what you're telling me is that our secretaries have been playing match maker?" Amanda remained silent, she just nodded her head. "Tell you what. Since neither of us is interested, lets humor the girls. Lets go get a drink and then in the morning we can tell them that we tried and it didn't work. If we don't, they won't let up." "You're not asking me out? This is not a set up?" "Honest. I'm not ready to get involved. Lets just have a drink together so we can tell them that it didn't work out. Then they'll leave us both alone." So many things went through her mind. Her brain told her that she just wasn't ready, the pain too fresh, too vivid, but the gush of moisture her body produced told her that she was. She felt heat rise to her face. She knew she should run now but another part of her was intrigued. She had had so little social contact with anyone that it couldn't hurt. It would be pleasant sharing a drink with another person. Neither of them wanted any relationship. She nodded her head, they both kept their eyes averted from each other. She took her notes to her desk and then came back to follow him out the door and lock it behind them. It was only two blocks to an upscale bar and grill and Amanda walked beside him. Neither said anything. They found an empty booth and sat across from each other. The bar was dark, illuminated only by some dim lamps with heavy shades. The table cloth was at least cloth, but not particularly good. The service was excellent. The drinks came quickly, the conversation came much slower. Both sat in silence for a very long time. Amanda had almost finished the first drink and was beginning to feel it before she was the first to speak. "Mark. I know Suzy talked to you about me today. What worries me is that my secretary, Pam, put her up to it. I know what Pam said to me, so I'm a little worried about what Suzy heard and told you." "Now you have me interested. What do you think Pam told her that has you so nervous?" Amanda blushed a deep red. "Pam told me if I wasn't ready to date, I should just go get laid and then she pointed out that you were in the same boat." "She did, did she? Suzy told me that you were really interested in me. That you wanted to go out with me and that I might get lucky." Amanda blushed a deep red. "I never! I told Pam I wasn't interested." A moment of silence followed that remark. "Intriguing thought, though, isn't it. A no emotional involvement encounter. I've thought about it but hookers don't appeal to me." Amanda wasn't used to drinking and the booze was going straight to her head. "I'm not a hooker." Mark looked at her. His gaze took her in and he liked what he saw. "What are you saying?" A touch of a tear came to Amanda's eye. She didn't quite know where that came from. All sorts of emotions were flooding her. She felt her body's need. She felt all the pain, all the fear of the past. She felt the dread of commitment. She felt she was betraying Jerry. All those emotions stirred to the surface. Her body and the alcohol were winning. "I don't want to date you. I don't want to love you. I don't want to own you. I don't even want to be friends. But maybe my girl friends are right. Maybe I do need sex. It isn't even you I need. Just your cock." She couldn't believe she had said that, but the words were out of her mouth. She meant every one of them, but she hadn't meant to vocalize them. She felt Mark's gaze. She felt his eyes move from her shimmering hair over her dead eyes, her button nose, her full lips, down to the significant swell of her breasts to her flat stomach. The heat of a flush flowed through every vein. "Do you really think you could do that? We could? Just have sex. No relationship? Would you really like to?" Her eyes met his wounded, needy ones. She read in him the same pain, the same desire that she felt. Her answer was almost a whisper. "Yes, Yes and Yes." His mouth twisted, his eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. He threw some money on the table, more than enough to cover the bill plus a substantial tip. He stood and held out his hand for hers. He led her the two blocks to his car. They said nothing and she felt the flow of emotions. Fear. Nervousness. Near Panic. Disbelief that she was doing this. He opened the door for her and she climbed in. She had no idea where he was going but she wasn't afraid of him, only of what they were doing. They drove in silence. Amanda snuggling with the passenger door as her nervousness filled her. She was breathing faster. Her heart beat like a runaway locomotive; she could hear it in her ears. She was slightly surprised when he pulled into a nice local motel. She said nothing. An Earth Day Voice "Wait here, I'll be right back." He told her. Amanda felt like running when he left the car, but she stayed, squirming in her seat, feeling the moisture drench her panties. A strange feeling of unreality came over her. This had to be a dream, it couldn't be happening. She hadn't done this had she? Mark was back in minutes, minutes that seemed like hours. He opened her door and reached out a hand for her. She took it and let him lead her. They climbed the stairs, her body moved but her mind seemed to be somewhere else watching, not really a part of what they were doing. She stood behind him as he swiped the card through the door lock. Her disbelieving eyes watched the door open, watched him find the light switch. She stepped inside after him and turned to watch the door close. The sound of the latching door like explosion of finality, a quiet life changing. Click, the quiet sound louder than an explosion. For a second she looked at the door as panic came over her, then she fought it down and turned to face Mark. The look on his face, showed the same fear and panic that she felt. She drew some comfort in knowing that this big strong man was just as scared as she. She took a deep breath, fighting down the nervousness. What did she, they, do now? She saw the same bewildered look on his face. They stood looking at each other. Neither sure what to do, how to start things. She didn't want to rush to him. She watched for several minutes and then she just started to unbutton her blouse. He stood transfixed, watching her for a moment, as her blouse opened further and further exposing her plain white bra. Then he joined her, and it became almost a race to see who could get their clothes off first. They watched each other. Amanda took a deep breath and then folded her clothes and put them on one of the chairs. He followed suit. Then they stood there naked, looking at each other. He at her breasts, her flat belly, the soft tangle of her pubic hair, the luscious shape of her long legs. She at his muscles, defined but not bulging and at the cock she suddenly wanted. They stood there, looking at each other, neither sure what to do next. She walked to the bed, feeling his eyes follow her every move. She pulled back the covers and laid down. He was quick to follow. She felt the weight of him sink into the bed and she rolled with the gravity until she was facing him. His arms went around her and she felt the warmth of him. Her eyes looked into his for a moment and then their lips met in a tender kiss. Her skin almost burned where his hands touched her back and he pulled her gently closer. Their kiss became more intense. It went quickly from tender to near violent. That first time, they did not share passion but rather mutual pain and grief and guilt. Neither needed much foreplay. She was dripping wet, he hard as a rock. They kissed for only a few moments, and then Mark took her. He took her in a flood of emotion. A cave man taking a woman in rage. She matched him, pouring out her feelings. It was a sharing of anger and loneliness, a release of long denied humanity. They both burst in a blast of escape, a gushing of intense relief. In minutes, he had rolled off of her and rested his head on an elbow as he looked at her. They were both gasping for air, trying to recover from such an intense merger. Mark was surprised at himself. He had always been a caring, gentle lover. It took them longer to recover than the act had itself. "God you're beautiful." He whispered. "I'm sorry." Her eyes looked into his. She put a finger on his lips. "shushhhhh... It was just what I needed. There is nothing to be sorry for." He kissed her, gently this time. His hand roamed over her body, lightly caressing her skin. His kiss soft as their tongues danced in their mouths. Amanda closed her eyes and drank him in. She smelled his musk, tasted his mouth, felt his course skin against hers. Her hand wrapped around him, exploring the newness of him. She tried not to think of Jerry, tried not to compare them. The second time was long and slow and delicious. They took more than an hour to bring themselves to a slow burn. This time he loved her slowly, tenderly until they both exploded in wonder. She snuggled herself close to him, feeling his heat, basking in her own after sex glow. She felt his arm wrapped around her. Her mouth broke into a slight contented smile as she laid her head on his chest. Amanda moved away and looked at his peaceful face. He rolled to face her and smiled. She liked his smile. There was a peace over her, more than just the physical exhaustion she felt. For a fleeting moment, she thought of Jerry and a tear welled in the corners of her eyes and began to flow down her face. Mark reached a finger out and brushed one away. "This isn't about him. He's gone. It isn't about us. It's about you and it's about me. Are you O.K.? " He asked her. The tears continued to roll but there was a smile on her face. "I'm fine. Really! I haven't been this fine in years. Thank you Mark. I needed that. Needed it more than I even knew." "No. Thank you. I needed that more than I knew." He laughed softly and she giggled in return, the first hint of laughter she had let loose in three years. His eyes clouded. "Are you really O.K.?" "Yes, Mark. I'm wonderful." The tears had dried and her slight smile was genuine. She saw the question in his eyes. "No, Mark. I don't feel all clingy. You don't have to take me out for dinner. It wasn't a first date. I haven't changed. I don't want a new husband. Everything is just fine." She meant every word when she said it but she was partially lying to herself. Everything had changed, perhaps not toward him but in her. She had let loose some of her grief, her guilt. The pain had not left her, probably never would but she had left her guilt and most of her grief in that puddle on the mattress. She looked in his eyes and saw that he had done the same. "And now?" he asked. "What about now?" "Do we just pretend this never happened? Do we do it again?" He asked her. "I don't know what we do now." She told him. "We both needed this. We'll probably both need it again, sometime." She felt it in herself even as she said that. She'd want it again, often, but she wouldn't admit it to him or to herself. "We aren't going together. Nothing has changed. Except that now, if you want, call me anytime for a nice roll in the sheets." She giggled. "Well, I hope it was nice for you. It sure was for me." He laughed and she sensed that he hadn't laughed like that in a very long time either. "Nice is an understatement. Damn, Amanda, you were wonderful beyond words!" She pulled him to her and kissed him on his nose. "Mmmmmm you were beyond wonderful, stud." She giggled. Neither wanted to make excuses, neither really wanted the night to end and yet they both wanted to flee. They wanted to put some space between them and the recent events. They wanted time to sort out their feelings. They both dressed and went their separate ways. It was late for a sanitary board meeting, but not that late. The clock showed only 10:30 when she pulled into the drive. Alan was waiting up for her, or was he? It was still early for a college boy. She felt like she was hiding something from him. She chuckled inside. She felt like she had when she was 17 and sneaking home after a date with Jerry. The only difference was she was now sneaking past her near adult son instead of her father. She made her excuses quickly and dashed to bed. She suppressed a tinge of guilt she felt in front of her son. Sleep had come quickly, and she slept deeply for the first time in a very long time. She missed a warm body beside her, but for the first time, she still felt the touch of a man. She was satisfied and tingly inside. The pain of Jerry, somewhat slackened. In the morning she knew that Alan had seen the smile that was stuck to her face. She flushed and pretended it never happened but she knew he suspected something. Pam had seen that smile too. She came up to her with a twisted smile. "Did you and Mark?" That cat that ate the canary smile was still on Amanda's face. "We went out for a drink and told each other that we weren't ready to see anyone. That answer your question?" Pam looked at her. She saw the smile and she guessed that Amanda was lying. "Are you sure that's what happened?" "Gospel truth. We told each other we weren't ready to date." Amanda was giggling inside. She was telling her friend the absolute truth, just not all of it. Amanda's full smile lasted for four complete days. Then it faded into a half smile for several more. After a week, the warm thoughts faded somewhat and she started hoping for a fresh dose of sexual healing. She had seen Mark most days, but while he had smiled and winked at her, he hadn't made a point of talking to her. Every evening, when the phone rang, a thrill went through her spine until she knew that it wasn't Mark. Everything changed for Amanda after that night. It wasn't the sex that changed it. It was that releasing herself from the guilt of Jerry's death, had freed her to feel again. Colors began to creep into her life. She felt things and saw things that she had not before. The sex had been wonderful, and suddenly a part of her that had been dormant was reawakened. She was aware of her body's needs for the first time in a very long time. She felt desire again, something that she had been suppressing. The biggest change though was at home. She had been aware of Alan, but so consumed by her own grief that she had only noticed Alan when he needed her. Now she was awake and aware again. She had thought that Alan had no social life. Suddenly she was very aware that he did. She had not noticed that he spent at least an hour on the phone every night, but now that she was waiting for, hoping for, Mark to call, she realized that he was on that damn phone. She realized that he had little money to date, but he was seeing someone. Suddenly she understood that she had not even noticed Alan's life. She tried hard to suppress the annoyance she felt for him tying up the phone. She also tried to get back into her son's life. Alan was both pleased and annoyed at her. It was a joy to see her smile again and every once in a while she even laughed. She was beginning to act like the mother he remembered. The problem was, suddenly she was his mother, and mothers did not need to know about his sex life. Amanda was beginning to think that Mark would never call. It had only been a week since she had seen him but it was beginning to feel like it would be forever. She came back from lunch to find a note that he needed her to call him about a contract that was coming up with the city. Pam gave her a strange look. "I tried to call, but Suzy said he was determined that you would be the only one who could help." Pam smiled. "Something up between you two?" "Yeah. We're gonna get together and fuck like bunnies while we discuss the Earth Day plans for the recycling department, well that or the change order for the Wilson sewer expansion." "O.K..... O.K, so nothing is up." Amanda dialed the office number. Suzy put her through right away. Pam, however, made a point of staying within ear shot of Amanda's side of the conversation. "This is Mark." He said. "Amanda. What do you need?" "I need a good no strings attached fuck." "Me too," She told him. Pam was watching her and she tried, unsuccessfully, not to blush. "I'm glad to hear that. My daughter has a class tonight at seven. I was hoping you could come over." Amanda knew that Pam was hanging on every word. "I am sure I can help with that. Just a second while I look it up." She thumbed aimlessly through the pages of the work order, then stopped and put her finger on a paragraph. "Yes, seven it is. Is that what you needed." She heard him chuckling on the other end of the phone. "Do you know where I live?" "I'm sorry, Mark, I can't seem to find that information in the work order." "12217 West Fifth Street." Amanda picked up a post it note. She was sure she would remember West Fifth Street. She wrote "$12,217" on the note. "Let me make sure I got this right. The change, it's twelve thousand 217 right? That's one two two one seven." "Yep, that's the right numbers. This time wear something sexy." He chuckled. "There are advantages to having a private office." "There certainly are. I'll be sure to make that change for you." "I can hardly wait to see you." "I'll be sure to handle the work order changes for you. Thanks Mark." She hung up the phone as she watched Pam's face go from expectation to disappointment. Amanda was laughing inside. Pam would be so delightfully surprised if she knew what they had really been discussing. The afternoon seemed to crawl by. She got more and more aroused as she thought about tonight. Amanda ordered a pizza and picked it up on the way home. Alan didn't even question her about it. He didn't even notice that she went to her bathroom and primped for an hour after dinner. She looked in the mirror as she got out of her shower. She twisted and turned and admired, mostly anyway. There was just a little too much fat around her bellybutton and she didn't think her hip was shaped quite perfectly, but overall, not bad for an old lady. It hadn't been that easy to find that lacy red bra and matching panties that she had stuck in the back of the drawer three years ago. She didn't even feel any guilt as she went by Alan and told him she had a special meeting that night. Leave it to a man (or almost man) to not notice a lady dressed up to impress a man. Amanda was excited as she drove to Mark's house. She wasn't nervous, she wasn't frightened, just aroused. She knew all about Mark now. He had been a very successful personal injury lawyer. And then two years ago, his wife, his 22 year old daughter, and his 14 year old son had gone shopping. Mark was working late like usual, and his 18 year old daughter was at a high school event. As they crossed the highway, the third car to cross under a green light, a truck had slammed into the car. His wife and his son had been killed instantly. His daughter had lingered for five days in a coma before she died. The driver apparently asleep at the wheel had not even slowed down for the red light. The accident was captured in a series of still pictures on a "red light" camera at the intersection. Mark had finished with the cases he had and made a killing with those. The life insurance had been substantial. What had really racked in the money though was the way he went after the trucking company. When he was through with them, he had every penny of their insurance and then forced them into bankruptcy as he collected most of their net worth as well. When he was done with them, he went after the car manufacturer for failure of the side impact air bags to save them. He had settled that out of court for a significant amount of money. The fight had gone out of him then. He had sold his partnership in the law firm for a very pretty penny, and become the city attorney. He wasn't ready to quit work, although he could have, but he had no more stomach for revenge. He immersed himself in the mundane. Amanda didn't know what happened to his surviving daughter, but rightly assumed that she was going to State and taking care of her father. The house was huge and beautiful. She hadn't needed to ring the doorbell. He had been waiting for her. She hadn't come for a tour of the house. She hadn't come for a discussion of the humanities. She wasn't disappointed when he led her directly up the stairs to his bedroom. There were five bedrooms upstairs arranged along a long hallway. Both end bedrooms had private baths with one more in the middle of the hallway. Mark had one end bedroom, his daughter the other. The first time she had heard a door close behind this man, it had been a jolt of fear. This time it was the sound of promise. She came to his arms. He held her to him and she lifted her face to meet his kiss. Their tongues met and danced to music that the two of them heard. He lovingly removed her clothing, kissing each inch of skin he exposed until she was standing naked before him. She sighed and then reached down and grasped his head and pulled him upward until her lips could meet his, then she undressed him, she savored the taste of every bit of his skin. She sucked his manhood into her mouth and ran her tongue around it and then slid her lips up and down his shaft. She smiled around him as his head rolled to one side and his eyes closed. The sound of his groan of pleasure intoxicated her. Mark broke away from her and led her to his bed. He pulled back the covers and pushed her gently down on it as his eyes feasted on her for a second before his lips followed. He kissed her deeply and then his lips moved down her body, kissing, sucking, licking, lingering when she sucked in her breath. Until he draped her legs over his shoulders as his tongue swirled over and around her clit. Her hands tangled in his hair as she directed him to the spots that pleasured her most. Her hips rolled, pushing her pussy against his eager face. He sucked her clit into his mouth and licked the tip. She felt the fire in her belly, spreading over her. The world dissolved as her eyes closed and she gave in to the pleasure she was giving him. Her first orgasm was a small tingle, the second came almost as soon as the first ended and then they kept coming in waves, until the pleasure crashed over her. Her head thrashed from side to side as she groaned in pleasure and her hips rolled and bucked into his face. He didn't stop until her body was still, then he disengaged himself from her legs and moved beside her, holding her close and softly caressing her body. Amanda looked into his happy shiny face and grimaced before she kissed him softly. She had never really liked her own smell, her own taste but she kissed him anyway. The feel of his stiff cock a message of his need. She rolled him onto his back and crawled over him. Her eyes watched his face as she slowly impaled herself on his hardness. She felt him fill her as she slowly slid down on him. A hint of a smile gracing the corners of her mouth. She braced her hands against his shoulders as she rocked on him. One of his hands reached up to cup her breast as the other tried in vain to find her clit. Her eyes locked on his. This had started as something she was doing for him, but slowly it became something for her as well. She felt her desire building once more as she rocked harder, faster. She felt him stiffen, suck in his breath and then fill her with his warm blasts, which triggered her own explosion. She felt him come back to reality as she was still in the throws of her passion. She felt his eyes watching her face and then the crashing blast was through in her and she sagged onto his chest. She felt his chest heave as he struggled to regain his breath with her laying on him. She was warmed by his arms wrapped around her. He kissed her ear and it tickled. She laughed a happy giggle and sighed contentedly as he held her. She felt him shrinking, slowly slipping from her. "Damn, you're good." He whispered in her ear and she felt a flush of warmth flow through her. She pushed herself up on her hands so she could smile into his face. "Mmmmm Not as good as you are. You have done something to me." "Yeah, made you all sticky." She laughed. "Maybe, but I love it." She rolled off him and he rolled to face her. She felt his eyes wander over her and then he kissed her softly. "You are so beautiful." He told her when they broke the kiss. His words warmed her. "You're pretty good looking yourself." "What are you feeling now?" An Earth Day Voice She thought about her answer for only a mili-second. She didn't really know what she felt and would have been afraid to tell him if she had. "Sticky... how bout you? What do you feel?" "Afraid." Her brow furrowed. "Afraid of me?" "No, never of you. I'm afraid of myself. In the last week, I'm beginning to feel again. I find myself thinking about you all the time. I'm not ready to be in love, I don't think I love you, or at least not yet. But I want you. I want you all the time. I'm scared of what I feel. I'm afraid I'm heading for something I'm not ready for. Something you aren't ready for. I'm afraid of being hurt, of hurting you, but you're like the flame and I'm the moth and I can't help myself from flying to your flame." She put her finger to his lips to shush him, and he kissed it. Then she gave him a soft kiss. Her eyes looked into his. "Mark, I feel exactly the same way. I am just coming back to life. That doesn't scare me but I know I'm not ready. It's way too early to talk about love. About the only thing you know about me is how big my tits are...." "Oh NO!", he interrupted her. "I know how tight and wonderful your pussy is, too." Amanda laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess you do know that, too." She kissed him. "Thank you for making me laugh... just now... and all of last week. I had forgotten how and I'm beginning to remember. I like laughing." She pulled him to her and they kissed, soft and long. She broke the kiss and put a few inches between them as her hand reached out and wrapped around his soft cock. "What I know, Mark, is that I love this." She gave it a squeeze. "I want this." Another soft clasp. "I don't want to lose this." She felt him stiffen in her hand and she moaned softly. They made love again, slowly, tenderly, wonderfully. When they were done, Mark looked into her eyes. Soft expressive eyes, met hers. "Amanda. You're too special to be just my sex toy....." She cut him off. She was frightened of what might be coming next. "O.K. I won't be your sex toy. So long as you are my sex toy." He laughed. "You seem to know just what to say." "Well... I was afraid you were about to use that but word and I'm not ready to give up sex, now that I just rediscovered it and I'm not ready to go crawling around bars looking for my next partner. I don't know exactly what I want, but I want you to be my lover. Nothing more, at least for now." "You don't need anything more? It's O.K with you to be just fuck buddies?" "That does sound a little crude, but for now....yes." "My daughter has classes every Thursday. Shall we call it my place every Thursday?" She smiled at him. "That sounds wonderful. My son has classes every Tuesday. Shall we call it my place on Tuesdays and your place on Thursdays?" "You have a deliciously dirty mind, girl. I love it. Every Tuesday at your place, Every Thursday at mine. That sounds like an arrangement to me." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - For several weeks, Alan had been watching his mother blossom like a spring flower. The change had been rapid and wonderful. He liked to see her laugh, something that had been missing for the last three years. Her interest in his life was both a joy and a pain. He knew what had changed her; she had finally given up the grief and the guilt. He had no clue what had triggered that. She had steadfastly refused grief counseling and denied that her life had been anything but the way it should be. Alan could never conceive of the actual cause. He couldn't see his mother dating, having sex. She was his mother. The perfect human being who couldn't possibility sink to the depths of dirty sex. His subconscious knew better. He knew she was still an attractive woman. Amanda didn't really pry into his life, but after two years, she had finally noticed that he had a girlfriend. He had never told her, and Jill had never introduced him to her family. He had been seeing Jill for how long? He couldn't put a start time on it exactly. They had gone to separate High Schools but he had met her through counseling sessions. They had had much in common and they had started talking. At first it was just long discussions after the sessions. His plans had changed, and he couldn't afford to take her out for dates. He didn't have the money for dinners and movies or dances. He needed every penny to go to school. She could have taken him out but he would have none of that and she respected what he thought. Instead they made dates to just talk. They had become best friends. Then a year ago, they had become lovers. It wasn't easy to see her. He usually went to work sorting the recycling materials early in the morning. He was there before 6:00 A.M., leaving the house before his mother even got up. Every day was different with his class schedule, but the result was a busy rushed day between classes and work. Somehow, he managed to find one hour each day to meet Jill and look into her eyes and talk to her. Every night he found an hour to talk to her on the phone, conversations carefully screened from his mother. His favorite day of the week was Wednesday. He had a class with Jill at 11:00 and always sneaked off with her afterwards. They went to her house and made love all afternoon. Weekends were usually family days for both of them. His mother had needed him around. He had been afraid of her depression and made sure to spend most of the time with her. Still they had found a couple hours to meet up and talk, and more time on the phone. He didn't know what it was about his mother's change, but it had told him something. For two years, he had known that Jill was his best friend. He could talk to her about anything. He could do anything to her or with her. She was his lover and his best friend. He knew he longed to spend time with her, wished he could wake up to her smiling face in the morning, but he had considered her his best friend. Watching his mother, he felt more relaxed with the idea of not being around for her. He was O.K., leaving her alone on the weekends. He felt more normal at home. With that had come the realization that he loved Jill. That he wanted Jill to be his life partner. He wanted to marry her. As he sat through class, he kept looking at her. Kept thinking of her. He knew that he was going to ask her this afternoon. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The day started out like usual for Amanda. Dealing with complaining water and sewer customers but at 11:00 she had to take notes for the Earth Day planning group. Mid week planning meeting. Oh joy! She wasn't just taking notes this time; she represented the clerk's office and the city purse strings. She had expected the Park Department head as well as the Sanitary Head but was surprised and delighted when Mark came as well. Their twice a week sessions had been working beautifully for almost three months. There were changes in both of them and in their relationship. They hadn't talked about them again; they had just let it flow. Their sessions always included mind blowing sex that had just kept getting better and better, but now they talked more. They were becoming friends. They talked about family and friends and politics and anything else they felt like. What had changed most, they admitted least, to each other or even to themselves. They both looked forward to the sex, but now they both longed for the others company even more. They laughed and talked more than they fucked. What they weren't admitting to themselves was completely obvious to everyone around them. Only their children didn't exactly notice. Pam saw it in Amanda's eyes. The girl was in love, madly in love. Suzy knew it too. That same look was in Mark's eyes. The two girls had compared notes and drawn the proper conclusions even if they couldn't catch their bosses in the act. They met for lunch and speculated about where and when the star crossed lovers were meeting. They giggled and wondered if they had done the deed yet. The rest of the city employees knew it as well. Only the two keeping the secret knew that it was no secret at all. The two department heads watched Amanda's eyes light up like flood lights when she saw Mark and his eyes flash brightly in response. They both smiled, but neither lover noticed. The meeting went quickly. They were done by 11:20. "Amanda, I need to talk to you. What do you say we go somewhere and talk. Maybe you could take the rest of the day off?" Amanda looked around. They were alone. "Hmmmm A little afternoon delight?" Mark's smile lit his face. "For you baby, anything." She made the call to the clerk, and claimed some personal time. No problem. Amanda thought that what she was doing was a big secret. What she didn't know was that Pam and the boss lady both knew exactly what she was about to do and with whom. Their only speculation was whether or not this would be their first time. Mark led her to his car. She snuggled close to him as they drove. He put the car in the garage and she practically drug him to his bedroom. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Alan thought the history class would never end. All he could think of was Jill and popping the question. Well almost. His raging hormones had other ideas. Finally, the hour ended and Jill came to him with a smile on her face. Clearly she was looking forward to their afternoon as much as he. He pulled into her driveway and she led him to her bedroom. They were both naked almost before the door closed. She nearly raped him. She threw him on the bed and straddled him. It was one of her favorite positions, sitting upright on him, holding hands, looking into his eyes and rocking herself on his hard cock. Jill exploded in a powerful orgasm, or perhaps several small ones leading to a major crash as she felt him blast his seed into her. She tried to sag onto him, but he held her up. "Jill, I need to talk to you." She gasped for breath and got her body under control. Her eyes smiled into his. They had never spoken the words but she knew he loved her and she loved him with all her heart. She had known for a very long time that they were destined for each other. She had known he would realize it as well and that it wouldn't be long. She held her breath, hoping against hope that THIS was THE conversation she longed for. "Jill, I love you." He said it simply. "I know you do. I have known. You didn't need the words. And I love you with all my heart." She felt his cock stir inside her and she tried not to laugh. The look in his eyes told her that this was the moment. "Jill, honey. I don't have much to offer. I know we should wait but I can't wait any more. I want you. I want you every day, every night. I don't know how we're going to live, but I want to marry you, Now! Jill, would you marry me?" She felt it coming and she couldn't help it. This was supposed to be a serious moment. She didn't want to laugh but she couldn't help it. Between the sobs of laughter she said, "Of course", giggle, "I'll marry you",sob of laughter, "but how in gods green earth", harder laugh, "am I gonna tell our grandchildren", gasp for breath and another gale of laughter, "that you proposed to me while I was sitting on you with your cock up my pussy?". She wiped a tear of joy from the corner of her eyes as another chuckle of laughter came over her. "Couldn't you have gotten down on your knees when we were getting dressed?" Her laughter was contagious. He broke up and they laughed and laughed. They laughed until she had to pee and he felt the need as well. She rushed for her bathroom as he, unable to wait, headed for the bathroom in the hall. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Mark had planned a discussion before anything more happened. When Amanda led him by the hand to the bedroom, he had simply given in and went with the flow. He made love to her. Slowly, lovingly. They took their time, savoring every moment, every touch. Their passion built slowly from a slow simmer to a consuming flame. They pleasured each other totally. Things were different than they had been three months ago. The difference more in attitude than in the physical activity. Three months before, they had been using each other for their own pleasure. Now they were giving to each other. They were in love, and they were aware of it. Mark propped himself on his elbow and looked at her. He liked every curve of her. He loved the satisfied half smile on her face. He loved her. The look was on his face. "A penny for your thoughts." She said to him. "I was just thinking that you're so damn beautiful." He said and saw her smile. He put his finger on his mouth to shush her. He wasn't through. "I was thinking that I'm tired of Tuesday and Thursday evenings." He saw the panicky look cross her face. "No..NO! I'm not tired of you. Just the opposite. Tuesday and Thursday aren't enough. I love you Amanda. I want to watch you sleep. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms. I want to wake up to you every morning. I want you to be a part of my life, not someone who crosses paths twice a week. Amanda. Would you marry me?" She pulled him to her and kissed him. "Of course I'll marry you. I love you, Mark. All we have to do is figure out how to tell our kids." "I think this calls for a toast. I got some Champagne in the fridge. I'll go get it." "Stay put, Mark. It sounds like I need to learn the kitchen. I'll go get it." It never crossed either of their minds that anyone else could be in the house. Amanda rose naked and headed for the kitchen. She was half way down the hall, when she heard the door to the bedroom at the other end of the hallway open. She gasped, too far to run back to Marks bedroom and she steeled herself to meet her new step daughter. This was not exactly how she would have hoped to make that acquaintance. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - When Alan was 13 years old, he had dreamed of catching his mother naked. He hadn't thought along those lines in years. He stepped into the hallway of his girlfriend's house, naked as a jay bird, turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. Half way down the hall and as naked as he, stood his mother. Two jaws dropped nearly to the floor. Two people began to blush, each felt the blush rush from their face to their whole body. Alan gasped for breath. He wanted to say something, but no words came. All he could do was stand there frozen, suddenly acutely aware that his manhood was dripping with Jill's juice. The idea of being caught in Jill's bedroom had always been in his mind, but he had never expected that it would be his mother who caught him. Panic overcame him. He stood, mouth open, gasping for air like a fish out of water. His mother turned and calmly walked back to the bedroom at the end of the hallway, without uttering a single sound. Alan stood frozen for half a minute before he could get his muscles to move. He forgot that nature was calling. He turned and half ran back to Jill's bedroom. "Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" Alan gasped at Jill in pure panic. Jill's eyes opened in fear. "My father?" "No, My mother!" "Your mother? How could that be?" "I don't know, but she was here! She caught me coming out of your bedroom! Naked!" "I know you're naked. I just don't know how to explain why you're naked." "Not me... her... naked as the day she was born." Jill calmed down first. "We're adults. We plan to get married. I guess now is the time we tell them. As far as what we were doing. At least they have as much to explain to us as we do to them." Alan could only gulp. He still had not gotten over the shock. "Alan. You've been telling me how much your mother has changed. I figured she was getting some, I just wasn't gonna tell you that. I thought my dad was too. I just didn't know who. Now we know." "My mother and your father?" "Why does that surprise you so much? They're both young and attractive. They're both human. Now get washed up and lets get dressed. Looks like it's time to face the music and tell them about us." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "Mark, we have to talk. We both seem to have a problem." Mark started to laugh. "Sounds like you just met my daughter. Sorry, I shouldn't laugh but it is kind of funny. I don't really care that she knows. She's an adult; she'll just have to deal with it." "No, Mark. I just met MY son. In the hallway and just as naked as I was. He was coming out of YOUR daughters bed room." "OH SHIT!" "No kidding, Oh shit!" She watched his face turn red with rage. He gulped for breath a couple times and she watched him get his anger under control. He took a couple more breaths and normal color came back to his face. A couple more breaths and his mouth turned up in a smile. "Well, I guess this makes explaining you naked in my bedroom a touch easier. I just said she was an adult. Now I just have to mean it. I knew she wasn't a virgin. I saw the birth control pills and I didn't say anything. I just didn't know who. How in the hell do we handle this?" Amanda sat down on the bed and thought about it for a minute. It was hard to accept Alan as an adult. She had wished he had a social life. Now she knew he had a sex life. It shouldn't have surprised her. At his age, she had already been married, and she and Jerry had been having sex before they graduated from high school. Amanda's shock was wearing off. There was a lot to deal with, but she realized that they needed to treat their children as the adults they almost were. "I think that this is a special occasion for us. I think we treat them as adults and offer them a glass of champagne to celebrate us and we ignore what they were doing. How can we yell at them for doing what we were?" Mark took a deep breath. "She's a little big to turn over my knee and he's probably as big as me, so I guess that's the way we should treat them. Don't expect me to give them approval for that kind of behavior in my house though." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Alan had wanted to run, but Jill held him back. "We have to deal with this sometime, Alan. We have to tell them. We might as well get it over with." "Yeah. I guess." He said with no conviction. His mother's rage scared him; his future father's terrified him. They sat there and waited. Knowing that the inevitable knock on the door would come. What happened wasn't quite what they expected. Jill had shown more courage before the rapping sound on her door. Her face flushed red as she opened the door. "Come down to the kitchen, KIDS. We have to talk to you." Mark said, his mouth turned into a tight line for a moment. Alan and Jill followed their parents. Not a word was spoken. Mark took Amanda's hand and allowed his frown to turn into a momentary hint of a smile. She felt his grip loosen and she smiled. They could both feel the fear in their children as they followed. Neither of the parents looked back and didn't notice when Jill took Alan's hand. It was two couples walking down the stairs. Amanda pointed to the chairs around the table and Jill and Alan sat. Mark went to the cupboard and got out four crystal champagne glasses. Then he went to the refrigerator and got out the bottle. Alan and Jill watched with wide eyes. The last thing they expected was for Mark to get out the wine. An Earth Day Voice The cork popped and the beverage fizzed as Amanda put a glass in front of each of them. Mark poured. Mark had never met Alan, nor had Amanda met Jill. Everyone knew who everyone else was so no introductions were made. "We have an announcement to make." Mark told them. He nodded at Alan. "Your mother and I are getting married. I just asked her this afternoon and she just agreed." "To our parents." Alan said as he lifted his glass in the toast and then pursed his lips as the first champagne he had ever tasted touched his taste buds. When they sat the glasses down, Jill picked up the bottle and refilled the glasses. Her father glared at her in disapproval. "Daddy, if we can drink a toast to you two. Then we can drink a toast to us. We decided to get married this afternoon too." "To Alan and Jill." Mark said. Mark scowled at Alan. "This does not mean that you are ever to come into my house with my daughter again without me at home. Is that understood?" "Yes Sir." Alan stammered, as Mark held out his hand to his about to be son. They shook hands as the elder tested the younger. Amanda looked at her son. "How soon do you plan to get married?" Jill answered. "We haven't discussed that yet, but I think we would both like to do it soon." A thought of horror crossed Amanda's mind. "Are you going to quit school? How are you two going to live?" "Damn, Mom. I haven't even figured out how I'm going to get her a ring. You know I can't really afford it." Mark looked in his daughter's eyes and saw the love there and then he looked at Alan and saw that he loved her as well. "Alan, I'm sure that Alicia would be honored if her daughter could wear her wedding rings. They're yours if you want them." Tears came to Jill's eyes. "Alan, I know that you think you need to pay your own way. But there is nothing I would rather do, than have my mother's rings." "Sir, I don't know what to say." Alan said. "Say yes Alan. Always listen to your mother. Besides it looks like it's three to one against you". Amanda told her son. He couldn't bring himself to answer but he nodded his head. "There is no need for either of them to quit school. Jill has a rather large trust fund. The interest will be enough for them to live on. I still expect Alan to support my daughter though." "Sir. I don't want your money." "It's not my money, it's Jill's. I'll just release it from trust a little early." Amanda thought a little. "Mark, we haven't discussed it at all, but my family is all gone. All my friends work for the city. Would you mind if we got married in the Park? I'd like to do it on Earth Day. There's already a celebration planned. We could be a part of it." "Daddy, I'd love an outdoor wedding but more than that, could we do it together?" - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The next two months flew by for them all. It was more than a hectic time. The wedding plans were more complicated than Amanda had thought. Using the park required permission of the park board, but with the city attorney as the chief lobbyist and the deputy clerk polling the board members, the approval was really a formality. Amanda would have been happy with a very simple ceremony, but it was Jill's first, and they made it much more elaborate in order to give Jill her dream wedding. Amanda and Jill did most of the planning and the work. It was a wonderful bonding experience for them both. Amanda rapidly became a combination mother/big sister to Jill. Amanda found it easier to see Jill as an adult than her own son, her baby. The new "rules of the house" became almost a game for them all. There was certainly no secret that both couples were "sexually active" but the "not in my house" rule was one that the children thought should be applied to the parents if it was enforced on them. Both couples had a "rules are meant to be broken" mentality. Neither caught the other, although in truth neither couple wanted to. As the day came closer, Amanda began to regret that she had chosen a day so soon, and the choice of Earth Day made it a double whammy. She found herself planning not only a city sponsored celebration, but a wedding at the same time. Amanda had had a reason for choosing Earth Day, and when Jill became aware of the reasoning, she expanded it. It was going to be a long and complicated day. There was more to plan than a complicated wedding, they also had to plan the future of four lives. They had to plan flowers and photographers, but also homes and cookware for two new families. Pam became a godsend and a pain in the ass all rolled into one. She stepped in and helped with some of the arrangements, getting permission to use a couple of the exhibitor tents as dressing rooms at the end of the day as well as arranging a few surprises. She was instrumental in arranging the bridal shower. Mark and Allan got to know each other, mostly from sitting in Mark's living room watching TV and trying to agree on something interesting in that awful time between basketball and baseball. They had to be together in case the girls called them to approve a color or a song or whatever the hell was important to them (but unimportant to the men). They struggled with their "you can't seriously be doing THAT with my sweet innocent daughter/mother" mentality and finally came to an uneasy peace. The wedding was still a month away and Alan found himself sitting on Mark's couch watching something on the discovery channel that didn't interest him much. His soon to be father was a few feet away with his feet up in his leather recliner waiting for the girls to beckon him for advice on something that didn't interest or concern him, and whose call would certainly come within those final few minutes of the program when the conclusions became clear and he would surely miss them. "You know... DAD." Alan emphasized the word to see if he could annoy Mark. "It's too bad you'll be too busy to be my best man." The suggestion touched Mark although he tried not to show it. "Good thing you're too busy. I might be tempted to return the offer." Their mistake was in saying it too loudly. Women have ears that seem capable of detecting the tread of the smallest spider in the neighbor's house, especially when that hearing is least expected or welcomed. The chase went off in a new direction. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Somewhere it MUST be written that weddings are supposed to be a zoo. This one turned worse than most. Amanda was exhausted and so was Jill by the time the day rolled around. The pressure of the planning and the preparation had left both women with little time for mundane things like sleep. Amanda hardly noticed that she hadn't thought or dreamed about Jerry in over a month. The day was perfect. The sky was a cloudless blue and the warmth of spring was upon them. There was only a fresh gentle breeze that barely ruffled the new green leaves. Life was taking hold again after a winter of snow and cold. New hope was blossoming, in the trees, flowers and plants; and in their lives. The earth day celebration was both a distraction and a centerpiece for their plans. It was mostly a symbol of the renewal of not only the earth, but of their lives. Amanda had wondered among the vendor tents, looking at trinkets and plants and things for the ecology. At first she enjoyed her examination of the what was around her, but then a touch of melancholy came over her. She didn't know where it came from but she managed to push it aside. The ceremony was scheduled for noon, just after the Earth Day program ended. It made for a full park, probably twice the crowd they had expected, half there for their ceremony, half for the Earth Day displays. Most of the city employees were there along with some friends and the Earth Day crowd. Pam had arranged a spare tent for them to dress in and Amanda and Jill had smiled and joked and hugged each other before the ceremony. The ceremony itself was beautiful. Amanda was touched by all of it. It meant a great deal for Alan to give her away and even more for Alan and Mark to be each others best men, although it had caused a few changes in the traditional ceremony. She had kissed Mark with joy filling her soul. She had seen her son from the corner of her eye and been pleased and warmed by them as well. Amanda walked toward the changing tent filled with joy, but each step pumped a touch of sorrow into her. Slowly, a feeling of betrayal to Jerry was creeping over her. As she pulled the flap closed behind Jill, a tear was running down her face. Jill saw it and hugged her new mother. Neither said anything. Both understood grief all too well. Words tangled on the end of Jill's tongue, but she held them back, understanding all the things that could overtake her new mother, but not which was causing the tear. Jill felt a strange presence, as if there was someone else there. Someone else trying to hug them both. Someone else filled with joy. Jill knew that her mother was watching and blessing them both. She wanted to tell Amanda, but she held her tongue. They changed from gowns to jeans in silence. Amanda sagged into a chair, suddenly overwhelmed by the exhaustion and the melancholy. She closed her eyes and sleep and sorrow came close to overwhelming her, but she forced her eyes open, dispelling the partially formed image of Jerry's face that was trying to appear in her mind. The next part of the day had been her idea, but suddenly, she didn't want to face it. The four gathered and hugged each other, Amanda forcing an unfelt smile to her lips. The men collected tools that had been left for them as well as four healthy young oak trees that they had planned to plant in a corner of the park and dedicate to their lost loved ones. Living memorials that would outlast them. The wind whispered through the baby leaves on the young oak trees as the first was planted. The city had made a brick ring with a brass inscription to Alicia. Amanda swore she heard a voice calling her, calling them both, as she tramped down the dirt around the roots. Through her muddled haze of fatigue she saw a face forming in the branches. It was the face from the picture that Mark still kept in the living room. She looked at Mark, but he was staring into the leaves as well. "Thank you, Amanda." The voice seemed to say. "Thank you for loving my daughter. Thank you for loving Mark and making my love whole again." The vision seemed so real. "Mark. Love this woman as you did me. It is time for you to let go of me. I love you, Mark. I'll always love you, but it is time for me to go. You've made me very happy. It was a beautiful ceremony and I'm so happy to have seen my daughter find her love. Now, Mark, you move on too and know it is with my blessing, my joy in your happiness." The voice fell still and the face faded back into small green leaves. Amanda looked at Mark, her jaw slack. Mark had a strange look on his face and she wondered if he had see it, heard it too, or if it had just been in her mind. Amanda felt a tingle go up her spine as they planted the trees for Susan and Mark Jr., but at least there were no visions. She looked around and knew that they all felt it. Marks children were here, watching. Amanda watched as Alan stomped the shovel into the fresh earth. She heard the sound of wind in the branches and as she watched, a smoky image of Jerry rose from the ground and shook dirt from his ghostly translucent clothing. His image stood aside as Alan shoveled and planted the tree. "I'm sorry, Amanda." She heard his words in her head and her mind replied. "What are you sorry for, Jerry?" "I'm sorry for so much. I'm sorry for how I treated you; hurt you in those last months. I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for not having more money, more insurance. I'm sorry for the pain I caused you by going. I love you so much Amanda." "Jerry, I'm sorry, too. I'm sorry that I'm betraying you now." "You're not betraying me! I left you, deserted you when you needed me most. I am so happy for you. I want you to go on. Need you to go on. Amanda, I've been so worried about you. I felt I had to stay and watch over you. Now I can move on. I need you to let go. I love you Amanda, I'll always love you, but you need to love Mark. You won't forget me. I know you won't. I know you'll always love me, but you can love Mark too. Get on with your life Amanda, and don't drag me along as extra baggage.." The image of Jerry burst in her head like a bubble. Suddenly he was gone. With that ghost went the last of her guilt, her anger, her pain. She turned to see Mark compressing the earth of Jerry's tree. Her dazed look slowly changing to an ear to ear smile. As everyone stepped back, Amanda reached out to caress the branches of the baby tree. "Goodbye, Jerry, My love." She turned to smile at her new husband. "Hello, Mark. My love. My life. I love you so much." She rushed to him, wrapping her arms around him and knocking the shovel out of his hands. The loss of his crutch would have made him fall if Amanda had not pulled him tight, steadying him. Her lips met his in an expressive kiss. The beginning of a new life. The joy filled her soul, joy for her new love, her new life. The beauty of the day overwhelmed her as a tear of happiness slowly found her cheek. Suddenly she was glad that she had chosen Earth Day. A symbol of life, of continuation. For her, the start of a new life.