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A Second Chance Ch. 2

By: aldenbradley



It was the best sleep I'd had in years. Looking back, I attribute it to exhaustion, coupled with the feeling of satisfaction and complete safety. What's remarkable is that I felt completely safe in the arms of a young man I had met less than an hour before.

We slept until nearly noon. When I awoke, I was spooned with my new lover. His arm was protectively draped across my waist, my own arm covering his. I lay there enjoying the warmth and safety, the feeling of a man next to me for the first time in such a very long time. Shug's breathing was soft, regular and slow. I lay there silently, not wanting to disturb him.

I turned the events of the last eight hours over in my mind. I had virtually demanded this boy make love to me. He was so kind. I recalled his offering to let me sleep unmolested. It was my decision, I remembered, to crawl into his bed. When I considered our joining, my desperate need for him, his willingness to please me, I realized I wanted more. I thought about his startlingly bright blue eyes. I wondered what they would look like when not beset by fatigue. I didn't see how they could be more brilliant.

If I allowed my mind to run wild I could imagine a relationship with this young man. What would it be like, I wondered? He's so much younger than I am. Maybe he wouldn't want a relationship with someone like me, someone as old as I. Yet, perhaps it was just what he was looking for.

"I'm putting my husband through medical school," I heard myself explain to friends. And after medical school, what? Long hours of loneliness as he endured an internship, then a residency. Could I handle that? And, what about all those pretty young nurses in the hospital setting. Doctors, too, I realized. Beautiful, young women with plenty of brains and great figures. He would be besieged, as attractive as he is.

Whoa! I told myself. This is getting way out of hand. I'd only known this guy for less than a day. My husband? What was my motivation for that kind of thinking? True, I'd been alone for those three awful years. Nathan did need a father figure other than my father, who was, God bless him, doing all he could to see the boy had a good role model. Dad took him to ball games and carnivals. But, still, Dad was Grandpa, not Daddy.

Was it my own desperate need that took me down this path of immediate commitment? Was I so bereft of feelings and emotions without a man around that I would consider such a reckless decision. I really needed to put the brakes on my own imagination. For now, I decided, I would just enjoy Shug's company for as long as it lasted. When I'd taken him to St. Louis, I'd probably never hear from him again. But, I would have, my mind rationalized, wonderful memories of this night and this boy.

I twisted in the bed, rolling over to face him. I propped up on an elbow so I could look at him. I was amazed to discover that the straight sandy blond hair I'd seen last night had become golden and somewhat curlier. He must have been truly soaked through by the time I'd picked him up. 

I twirled a small lock of his hair around my finger. I smiled at his peaceful, youthful visage. I couldn't resist planting a soft kiss on his forehead, close to the temple. I inhaled the fragrance of him, and kissed him lightly again.

The silence in the room crumpled with a little hum of pleasure. I heard Shug's voice whisper, "Good morning, pretty lady."

I apologized. "I woke you up. I'm sorry."

"It's all right," he told me. "It was a very nice way to wake up."

"Did you sleep all right?" I asked.

Shug rolled on his back and stretched. "Mm-hmm," he murmured. "I slept great. How about you?"

"The best in years," I answered.

"Pretty weird, though," Shug acknowledged.

"I was just thinking the same thing," I told him.

"Nice," he said. "But, still, I don't know…kind of…I don't know."

"Impulsive," I offered.

"Yeah. Impulsive."

"But I don't regret it," I said.

"Maybe not right now. But, in nine months you might."

"Not to worry," I assured him. "I'm only four days from my last period. I'm not fertile yet."

"Oh." He sounded relieved.

"Look," I told him. "I've got to pee really bad. Then I want to brush my teeth."

"So, you're leaving me already? Screw, sleep and scoot? Is that it?" he joked.

I popped a little fist into his side. "That's not it, at all," I protested. "We just need to make arrangements, you know? There's only one bathroom."

"Oh," he said, again. "Well, you go ahead to the bathroom first, and I'll brush my teeth. And, I'll meet you back here in, say, six minutes?"

"Why six?" I asked.

"Because it's not five, and four is probably too short," he answered with a reasonable tone. It struck me a curious.

"Six minutes, then," I agreed. "Right here? Or, do you want to use the other bed?"

"I have an emotional attachment to this one," Shug said. "It's where we first became intimate. I like this bed. I'll probably have to buy it from the motel."

"You're crazy, aren't you?" I said.

"It is, after all," Shug said, that reasonable tone in his voice again, "a very special bed."

"Of course it is," I nodded in agreement, trying not to smile and to use that same reasonable tone. "I'm going to the bathroom now."

"Can I kiss you before you go?" Shug asked.

"I'd really rather not," I told him. "Morning breath and all."

"How about right here," he said, placing a finger on my shoulder.

"There would be fine," I assented.

Shug leaned upwards and planted his lips right where his finger touched. I felt his tongue swipe at the skin. It made me shiver.

"You need a shave, too, my dear," I said.

"I'll take care of that right now," he nodded. "Although six minutes doesn't give much time for a close shave."

I rolled toward the edge of the bed and sat up. "Do your best. Just don't be late."

I recovered my T-shirt from the floor where I'd dropped it in the dark and headed toward the bathroom. As I sat on the commode, I made a definitive decision. I couldn't count on a relationship with Shug. I wouldn't set my sites on that. But, one thing I'd been missing for years was fun. So, I decided, what I would do for as long as we were together would be to have fun. He had a great sense of humor. He made me laugh, or at least giggle. I would enjoy that. If something more developed, that would be fine. If not, I would be able to get past it. I committed to not committing. That done, I could more easily be myself and simply enjoy whatever hours we would be allowed to share with each other.

I yelled through the door. "Are you anxious to ditch me?"

"What?" I heard Shug holler back.

"Are you anxious to get rid of me and be on your way?"

"Now you're the one who's talking crazy," he yelled to me.

"I thought maybe you'd, you know, want to be on about your business. You got laid and had a good night's sleep and were ready to move on."

Shug opened the door. I was startled. He peered down at me, sitting on the commode. I felt totally vulnerable. His face was half-covered with shaving cream. I could see the swipes he'd taken with his razor, like plow-tracks through snow. He had a towel wrapped around his middle. Shug's eyes were brilliant and flashing.

"Is that what you think of me, Caroline? Is that what kind of man you think I am?"

I was trembling. "I don't know, Shug. I don't know you. I hardly know you at all."

"I'll tell you what else you don't know, Caroline. You don't know yourself. You don't know how incredibly attractive, no, no. Not even attractive. Beautiful. You're beautiful, Caroline. You're beautiful and you're kind. You're generous. You picked me up off the road in a rainstorm and gave me a place to sleep. You gave yourself to me. You…you…"

"Bitch?" I offered.

"No, goddammit," he flared. "Stop doing that. You always demean yourself. Don't do it. First you're too old. Then you're a bitch. You don't really believe that, do you? Do you always do that, or is it just with me?"

"No," I stammered, shaking under the intensity of his words. "I don't. I think it's because you're so young, and so beautiful. I feel, I don't know, unworthy, sort of."

Shug looked exasperated. He shook his head. "Finish up in there. I can't believe we're having an argument already. We've known each other less than a day and we're having an argument."

"It's my fault," I said. "I just feel so…I don't know."

"Yeah, I know," he said. "Unworthy. Look, finish up in there. Then we need to have a talk."

I nodded. "All right. Are we still going to make love?"

Shug stood stock still for a few seconds. Then his face broke into the widest smile I had ever seen.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?" he said. "You're just incredible." He backed away, pulling the door. "Finish up," he said. "I've got to pee, too." The door closed.

I finished up and flushed. I stepped out and stood next to Shug. His shaving process had been completed and he was leaning over the sink brushing his teeth. I put my hand on his back.

"I don't want to fight, really," I said to him, as gently as I could manage. Shug stood up, the white toothpaste circling his lips. He looked at my reflection and nodded, then bent down and continued to brush. I leaned over and kissed his back where my hand rested. Shug made no move other than to continue brushing.

My hand trailed down his back as I left him there to retrieve my own toothbrush from my overnighter. I saw my dryer and brush on the bureau where I'd left them all those hours ago before we'd made love, slept and argued. I took the brush with me to the vanity. I ran it through my riot of locks, trying to bring some order to the chaos. It was futile.

Shug finished in the bathroom and walked by me as I stood at the vanity.

"Brush your teeth," he ordered, "then come back to bed." He didn't even look at me, just issued his order as he walked past.

When I'd finished and rinsed, I went to the bed where Shug had already situated himself under the covers. I noticed he'd parted the draperies so the room was flooded in light.

"Lose the shirt," Shug directed. I pulled the T-shirt over my head. I stood in front of him feeling terribly vulnerable once again.. Shug looked me over and smiled. He lifted the cover. "Come on," he said. I climbed into the bed.

Shug wrapped his arms around me. "Can I kiss you now?" he asked. I nodded.

His kiss was gentle, warm and tasted of toothpaste. His tongue licked gently at my lips. When he released my lips he kissed my cheek, my forehead and my temple.

"I love your hair," he said. "I love all those curls just going everywhere."

I put my hands on his face, feeling the smoothness from his shave. I kissed him under the eyes. "I love your eyes," I told him. "I love their color, their brightness, and the way they flash when you're angry."

Shug kissed my lips again, softly and quickly. "Let's talk," he said.

"Okay," I assented.

"I am very much attracted to you," Shug started out. I smiled.

"I find you warm, exciting, intoxicating," he continued. I started to feel self-conscious.

"I hate it when you demean yourself." His voice was soft, but intense.

"I'm afraid," I admitted.

"Of me?" Shug asked, not in disbelief, but with sincerity.

I shook my head. "Of me. I have been so lonely, so angry. I've had plenty of offers to, you know, get laid, get taken care of in return for whatever. I've been feeling somewhat desperate this last six months or a year. Men my age…" Shug put a finger on my lips.

"No, let me finish. Men my age are either married or complete losers," I said. "There are so very few good men in the pool. So, when I met you, and you seem so…I don't know, so perfect. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid. I'm afraid I'll be in too much of a hurry."

"So you do regret last night?" Shug said.

"No, I don't," I said. "Last night was marvelous. Today is what worries me."

"Why?"

"Because, I don't know you, Shug," I told him. "I don't know you at all. I don't know if you've got a wife, a fiancé, a girlfriend. I don't know if you're an alcoholic, divorced, or even gay, for God's sake."

Shug chuckled. "Think we can pretty much eliminate the last."

"Okay," I agreed, "but still. You're twenty-four. I'm thirty-two. I'm a mother. I have a son. I don't even know if you've got any children. This is all happening so fast and my emotions are running rampant. Maybe it's just hormones, or something. I don't know. But, I do know that I'm afraid."

"Caroline," Shug said, softly. "I am unattached. Remember, I'm a medical student. I don't have time to develop a relationship."

"Back home, though?" I asked. "No high school or college sweetheart in St. Louis?"

"I am unattached, Caroline," he confirmed. "No wife, girlfriend, and certainly no children. I have never been married. I am single. A bachelor."

"I feel better," I admitted.

"Good," he said. "As far as ages go, is this really an issue? At this point in our relationship, who cares about our ages."

"We have a relationship?" I asked.

"Of some sort," he told me. "If nothing else, we're lovers. Aren't we? Didn't we make love?"

"People in a one-night-stand don't have relationships," I reminded him.

"So, does that mean you're planning on using me and casting me aside?" he asked. "Just another notch in your belt? Another conquest you can brag about to the girls in the office?"

"You make me laugh," I confided in him. "I like how you make me laugh."

"You're very pretty when you laugh," he said. "Your eyes sparkle and your hair bounces like crazy. I love that. I would really like to spend some more time with you and see if I can continue to make you laugh."

I leaned toward him and kissed his lips. "Hmmm," I said. "Tastes like sugar."

Shug grinned widely. "Sugar is sweet," he said, "but sex won't rot your teeth."

"Are we done talking?" I asked.

"For the time being, I guess," he said.

"Good," I said, pushing his shoulder backward and straddling his belly on my knees. I leaned forward, putting my forearms on his shoulders. I looked into his sparkling blue eyes, leaned down and kissed him gently.

"No girlfriend?" I asked.

"Nope," he said, and I kissed him again.

"No fiancé?"

"Uh-uh." I kissed him again.

"No wife?"

"No wife, yet." This time I kissed him for a long time, my tongue probing into his mouth. I broke the kiss, knelt upright and felt behind me for his cock. It was still pretty flaccid.

"You don't seem to be ready, yet," I observed, stroking him lightly.

"It won't take long," he said. "You look so beautiful up there above me. I can feel the desire for you building up down there already."

"Maybe this will help," I said, releasing him and falling forward. I put my hands on the bed above him, positioning my breasts right at the level of his face. "If you suck on these, will you get hard?"

"Oh, most definitely," I heard him say, his little puffs of breath splashing across my nipples generating my own stimulation.

Shug, took my right nipple between his lips. His tongue tweaked it, making sparks fly down my whole right side. Immediately I felt the dampness develop between my thighs. He licked circles around my areolas, then sucked the nipples between his lips. He gently nibbled, his teeth raking across my engorged flesh. I rocked forward and back, the heat building inside me as he suckled. His hands found my waist. He slid one down my belly. I could feel his fingers probing into my pussy. I groaned as his knuckle grazed my clit.

"Oh, please," I murmured in his ear. "Tell me you're ready."

"Almost," he whispered back.

I lifted up and put all my weight on my left hand. My right snaked between us. I had to scoot backwards a few inches until I could grab him.

Shug wasn't hard, yet. He felt semi-firm, sort of rubbery. I clutched the head of his cock and maneuvered it into the proper location. 

"You can finish growing inside me," I said, pushing my bottom down on him and forcing his semi-erect dick into my steaming hole.

Shug chuckled. "Another reference to our age difference?" he whispered.

Concentrating on the sensations, it didn't register. "What are you talking about?"

"I can finish growing inside you?"

"Oh," I said, clutching at him with my muscles.

"How many years would I have to stay inside you to grow up?" he asked.

"Years and years," I moaned. "I want you inside me for years and years."

Shug's member was swelling inside me. I could feel the pulsations as the blood engorged his rod. I slid myself up and back on him fairly gently, just enjoying the feeling of him in there. My brain was awash with sensations. The center was, of course, at the area of our joining. But there was so much more. The heat seemed to course through my entire bloodstream. My fingers wanted to squeeze on him, my lips to suck on his, my legs to squeeze him like a stallion. I wanted to melt into him, melt around him, ride him, and hold him.

"Open your eyes," Shug commanded softly. "I told you, I want to see your face and your eyes when you come."

I opened my eyes and looked directly into his. Their brightness seemed doubled by the heat of our passions. I yearned to dissolve into those eyes and become truly one with him. My lips were trembling so I bit the bottom one, I threw my head back, then shook it with the overwhelming sensations assaulting me.

"Look at me," Shug directed sternly. 

I look into his eyes.

"You're close to coming, aren't you?" he said.

I nodded.

"Talk to me," he commanded. "Tell me what's going on."

"Oh, Shug," I poured out in a great exhalation, "I can't! I just can't. It's so intense. So overwhelming!"

"Tell me," he ordered.

"I can feel you," I gasped. "I feel you there. It feels so good." I gasped several times. "You're heat is flowing all through me," I told him. "Down there, up my back, in my legs and arms. My brain is so foggy, so, Ohhhh!"

My muscles spasmed on him, contracting involuntarily. The crest of the wave was just behind me. I could feel it building up, ready to carry me over the top."

"Oh, Shug," I cried, "I'm coming, baby. Hold me! Hold me!" 

I clutched at his neck, driving my mouth toward his. Shug wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me toward him. My knees slid backwards and I collapsed on top of him, his cock still lodged inside me. I twitched my hips on his and Shug responded. He hitched upwards meeting my every thrust.

"I can't see you this way," Shug said, pushing my torso away. I looked into his eyes. As the wave crested over me, I watched his face and saw it break into his gorgeous smile. I wailed in ecstasy as my orgasm crashed through me. I grabbed at his upper arms and squeezed him as hard as I could.

"Ow! Goddammit, Caroline!" Shug bellowed. I was confused.

"What?" I said, just barely beyond my own orgasm, and still a little fuzzy.

"My arms, woman," he said. "Look!"

There were red welts and scratch marks.

"Did I do that?" I asked.

"Yeah, you did," he said. He sounded hurt.

"I'm sorry, Shug," I told him. "I don't mean to hurt you."

"I know, Caroline, but, damn! We're going to have to come up with a way … I don't know. I'm not going to last very long if you're going to claw me viciously every time we screw."

"It's just, everything is so intense," I admitted. "I lose control."

"Okay, fine," he nodded. "That means that I can't, right? One of us has to be in control."

"I want you to enjoy it," I said.

"Don't worry, sweetie," he told me. "I'll enjoy it a lot better if I don't have permanent scars."

"I feel badly," I said. "I've ruined it, haven't I?"

"Caroline, do you feel this?" Shug asked, pulsing his cock inside me.

"Yeah," I told him. I could feel it, all right.

"Then we're not done. But here," he said, lifting his hands up to me, "take my hands. Interlock the fingers."

I did as Shug instructed. With our fingers locked together, Shug planted his elbows in the bed and held our hands between us.


A Second Chance Ch. 2



"Now," he said, smiling, "now you can do your worst. Except, no biting, okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"You can scream, if you want. You can shout. You can curse. Whatever makes you feel good," he said. "Just don't let go."

"Okay," I nodded.

Bless him. That little interlude must have done something for Shug's endurance. I rode him, starting out slowly, and eventually building to a fever pitch. I was humping him, screaming and wailing. I had three glorious orgasms. The last one was so intense I both screamed and wept at the same time as he pumped his come into me while my muscles tried to milk him dry. Shug's placement of our hands gave me a wonderful point of leverage. I thumped my hips on him, leaning forward and sliding him nearly out of me, then plunging back down. I screamed wordlessly, my mind unable to formulate words. It felt so thoroughly excellent to have him inside me. 

When I collapsed toward him, Shug released his grip on my hands and wrapped his arms around me. I lay panting, my head resting on his shoulder. I kept squeezing him, voluntarily this time, trying to extend that marvelous full feeling.

"How you doing, woman?" Shug asked.

"I'm exhausted," I answered.

"Only exhausted?" he pressed.

"And happy," I replied. Having said it, I checked in with my feelings. Happy? Elated was more like it. I'd never had three orgasms in a single session before.

"You were crying," Shug said. "I got worried."

"Tears of joy, believe me," I told him. "I love making love with you."

"Was that making love?"

"What did you think it was?" I asked.

"It felt like fucking. Raw passion. Lust."

"Okay," I said. "What's making love, then?"

"I'll have to show you," he said, "later. Not now. I think were both about worn out."

"Come to think of it," I said, "I'm famished. We haven't even had breakfast. What is it? Almost noon?"

"I've got some granola bars in my pack," Shug offered.

"That's not going to do it today, baby" I said, rolling off my lover. "I've got to have protein. Red meat. I am ravenous. We're going to have to go out somewhere."

"Caroline," Shug looked miserable. "I'm broke, honey."

I laughed. "Of course you are. You're a student. Student's are always broke. This is my treat."

"I feel bad about that," Shug admitted.

I put my hand on his chest. I could feel his heart beating strongly under the smooth skin.

"Don't worry, Shug. I can afford this. I want to do this, for you. For us. Come on, let's get dressed and go find something to eat."

"Should we check out?" Shug suggested.

"We can. You want to go down the road a bit this afternoon?"

"Fine with me," he said.

We cleaned up, dressed and packed our things. The rain had stopped but the day was overcast and a bit cool.

We drove to the office and settled up. I asked about the nearest restaurant and got directions. The nearest town was fifteen miles down the road.

When I came out of the office, I tossed Shug the keys. "You drive," I told him. "The next town is fifteen miles. I need to make a couple of calls."

We headed out on the highway and I dialed my mother's number. She answered on the third ring.

"Mother? It's Caroline. I'm taking my time, dear. I don't want to get over-tired and do something stupid. Can you keep Nathan for another day or two?"

"He's swimming right now," she told me. "Do you want me to get him?"

"It must be warmer there than it is here," I said. "Just tell him I called and I love him, okay? And, thank you, Mother. You're terrific."

"You be careful, dear," she said. "Call when you get back into town. We'll be glad to keep Nathan for a few more days."

"I love you," I told her. "Thank you for helping." I rang off.

"Your mother?" Shug asked.

"Mother," I replied. "Eric's mother. Eric was my husband."

Shug nodded.

Next I called my office. I got the service. I left a message for the manager that I was taking some time off. I said I'd call when I was coming back.

I clicked the phone closed and returned it to my purse.

"I got the service," I told Shug. "What day is it?"

"Sunday," he said.

"Well, that explains that," I said.

We pulled into the small town about ten minutes later. We found one of those 24-7 breakfast joints. Shug wheeled the car into a parking slot and we went in.

I ordered the breakfast special, with steak, eggs, hash browns, the works. I insisted Shug have the same.

"I'm not having you searching the menu for the cheapest item," I told him. "You eat what I eat and stop worrying."

We sat holding hands across the table until the waitress brought our coffee. When she left Shug smiled at me.

"Have I told you today that you're beautiful?" he asked.

"You have. You're welcome to say it again."

"You're beautiful," he said. I felt like a school girl.

"Do you suppose it was some sort of fate thing, us meeting up like this?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Could be."

"You know I can still feel you inside me?"

"Really? Does it hurt?" He looked concerned.

I smiled. "No. It feels a little weird, but nice. It makes me want to squinch on you."

"Squinch? That's a unique word."

"I know. But it fits, doesn't it? I mean, you know exactly what I mean."

"Exactly. I love it when you squinch on me."

"I feel like such a slut. I haven't been this horny in years!"

"You're horny?"

I nodded. "I am. Isn't that awful? I mean, it hasn't been an hour and I want you again, already."

"I don't think it's awful," Shug said. "It makes me, well, excited to think about it."

"So, you're just as bad as I am," I said. "We're just a couple of nasty animals."

"I think we should just go with it," Shug suggested. He grinned broadly.



A Second Chance Ch. 3



The food arrived. We both ate like we hadn't had a meal in weeks. Within ten minutes we had cleaned our plates. We stacked the dishes and pushed them aside.

"We have to make some plans," Shug said.

"Why?" I wanted to know. "What kind of plans?"

"I've got to get to St. Louis, Caroline. You've got to go home to your son."

"I don't want to make plans," I said, feeling suddenly dejected. "Plans are real world. I don't want to be in the real world right now. I want to be with you."

Shug smiled. "You wouldn't believe how glad it makes me to hear you say that."

"Then stop trying to be so reasonable," I sulked.

"Caroline," he put his hands out to me. I placed mine in his. "Sweetheart, I have to be back in Atlanta on the twenty-seventh. That's a week from tomorrow."

"I know that," I said.

"That means I'm going to have to leave St. Louis on Friday, at the latest."

"Friday? That's three whole days! It doesn't take three days to get from St. Louis to Atlanta."

"It does when you're hitchhiking," he smiled at me.

"But, you're not hitchhiking anymore, Shug," I protested. "You're with me."

"That's true," he acknowledged, "but, you're going on from St. Louis to…" he stopped. "You haven't told me where you live," he said. "Where do you live?"

"Tulsa," I said.

"Tulsa, Oklahoma?" Shug sounded amazed.

"Yeah. People live in Tulsa, you know."

"Sure, but, you said St. Louis isn't far out of the way. St. Louis is a long way out of the way if you're going to Tulsa!"

"You're being reasonable again," I told him.

Shug pulled his hands away from mine and planted them on the edge of the table.

"Don't you think one of us should occasionally touch reality?"

"I don't want to be in touch with reality, right now, Shug. I want to drive through the countryside, stop at every cheesy motel we come across, fuck our brains out for the next week, and then take you back to Atlanta on the twenty-seventh."

Shug looked stunned. "I guess that's a plan of sorts," he said. "When did you come up with that idea?"

"Just now," I admitted. "I mean, it just now clarified. I've been thinking about it for a couple of hours."

"We've only been awake for a couple of hours," he reminded me.

I took a deep breath and looked down at the table, tracing figure eight patterns on the top. "When I woke up this morning in your arms, I thought, this is where I want to be. This is where I want to stay. I was so warm and so comfortable with you. I felt safe, and protected, and…well, I just knew, that's all."

Shug looked like somebody had just told him his dog died. I thought he was going to cry.

"What?" I asked, softly. "You have trouble dealing with honesty? I've just told you the deepest, most private thoughts and feelings. You can't handle that?"

"It's not that," he answered. "I am so…touched. So honored. I feel like you've just given me the most wonderful gift imaginable. Like, you've shared your soul with me. I'm….I'm so very honored."

"Oh, God," I moaned, knowing that agony was only an instant away. I took a deep breath. "Go ahead," I said. "Let the other shoe drop."

"What?" Shug now looked confused.

"You're honored? People only say that when there's an awful something coming up. People say that just before the 'but'. You know, 'But, I don't feel the same way about you.'"

Shug's look of confusion disappeared. He stared at me. Then he turned toward the window. I steeled myself for the bad news. Then he started to laugh. He reached across the table and took my hands in his once more.

"You are the most wonderful, amazing creature I have ever met," Shug said, grinning so broadly I thought his face would split open. "There is no other shoe, my love," he said. "I am truly honored that you shared you're most intimate thoughts with me. I know how vulnerable it makes you feel. That you trust me that much in the short amount of time we've had together is…is…amazing! You are completely wonderful."

A warm, golden glow settled around me. I couldn't help but smile back at this marvelous young man. This had been a test of fire. I shared my inner self with him, trusted him, and he proved worthy. I was so relieved, I felt the need to break the tension that had built up around us.

"And a pretty good fuck, too, huh?" I whispered wickedly, leaning forward so only he could hear.

"All of that," he grinned. He leaned across the table toward me. I met him half-way. It was a terrific little soft kiss that lasted two seconds longer than it should have.

We settled up the bill at the cash register and walked toward the car. Shug held the door for me, then climbed in behind the wheel. As he backed out of the parking lot and pointed the car down the road he asked, "Destination?"

"Then next cheesy motel you can find, lover. I can't wait to feel you back inside me."

Shug drove up that road for two hours before he stopped. I was furious with him.

Each time we'd pass a Shady Rest or other little family owned motel, I'd ask him, "How about here?"

Shug would look at it, grimace and say something like, "They probably haven't changed the sheets in years," or "I'll bet there's mold in the bathrooms," or some such other lame excuse. The farther we went, the angrier I got.

What finally suited him was a Comfort Inn about an hour south of Nashville. He rolled my car into the parking area, stopped, and twisted the key. Then he turned to me and grinned.

"Okay," he said. "Here."

"Well, I'm certainly glad we've found somewhere fit to house your royal highness," I fumed at him.

"Why are you so angry?" he asked.

"Two hours, Shug," I bellowed. "We've been driving for two hours. In that time we had to have passed up twenty places we could have stopped."

He stretched his hand across the console to take mine. I jerked it away.

"Don't touch me," I snarled. "I am so pissed off at you."

Shug chuckled. "What are you pissed off about, Caroline?"

"I wanted to stop. You didn't stop," I growled. "You ignored me and my feelings."

"No, I didn't," he said, his hand firmly resting on mine. "I extended the anticipation."

"Not so, buster," I said. "You just pissed me off, that's all."

"Caroline?" He twisted in the seat so he was facing toward me.

"What!"

"Why did you want to stop?" he asked, almost in a whisper.

There was silence in the car. I looked up at him from my sulking rage. He sat there, his face in a crooked grin, his eyes sparkling like a lake in the summer sunshine.

As I thought about it, I couldn't help but laugh. I started to giggle. "To screw," I acknowledged. It seemed so silly.

"Do you still want to?" he asked.

"No. I'm mad at you," I smiled into my lap, trying to hide it from him. I looked out my window so he couldn't see my face. I felt his hand come to rest on my shoulder.

"So, let me see if I've got this straight," he said, a chortle in his voice. "You got mad at me for not stopping so we could screw. And, you're now so mad, you don't want to screw anymore. Is that it?"

I started to laugh. I knew he could feel it, that hand on my shoulder. I turned to face him.

"You're a mean son-of-a-bitch, Jeremy Shugart. You know that?" The two of us were laughing out loud now. "You could have stopped hours ago."

"Caroline, my love," he said, "if we do this trip in fifteen mile increments, stopping every fifteen miles to make love and spend the night, it'll be July by the time we get to St. Louis. And, Christmas before you get home to Tulsa."

"Okay, okay," I conceded, wiping the tears from under my eyes. "You're right, I supposed. It was pretty silly, wasn't it?"

He shrugged. "It's okay, as long as we get over it." He patted my shoulder.

Our chuckling and giggling subsided. I had heard what he said. Suddenly, I had the feeling that I had to know.

"Am I?" I asked him. "Am I what you said?"

"What?" Shug asked in return. "I don't…I don't understand."

"You said 'Caroline, my love.' Am I? Am I your love, or was that just a figure of speech?"

Shug looked uncomfortable. He shifted back in his seat and looked forward through the windshield.

"Caroline," he began.

"Yes?" All of a sudden my gut was in a tight knot.

Shug looked at his watch. "It's been fifteen hours."

"That's all right," I said. "You don't have to answer. I'm sorry I asked."

"You're not," he said. "You're not sorry at all."

"Yes, I am," I nodded. "I shouldn't push."

Shug nodded.

I continued. "It was an endearment. I understand. It was like 'honey', or 'sweetheart', right?"

He looked at me. This smile had none of the impish nature I'd seen before. This one was warm and sincere. "It's so new," he said, softly. "I want to make certain it's not just the novelty, the newness, the excitement."

"You're very mature for your age, Shug," I said. "I'm acting like a teenager, and you're behaving like an adult. I'm learning to respect you for that."

"I had to grow up fast when my Dad died," he said. "I had to become the man in my family at seventeen. There was no one else to do it."

We sat in silence for a long moment. Finally, I screwed up the courage to ask, "When do you think you'll know?"

"About what?"

"About us. Whether or not I am your love."

Shug sat quietly. I could almost hear his mind working. He looked into the mirror and out the back of the car. "I don't know, for certain, when I'll know. But, I'll tell you Thursday."

"Thursday?" I asked him. "Why Thursday?"

"Because it's not Monday or Friday. And, it's not Wednesday, you know, the middle of the week. Because Tuesday would be too early. Thursday is the perfect day," he said.

"You know, there's absolutely no sense to what you're saying," I said, shaking my head.. "It's like that six-minutes thing this morning. But, when you say it, you make it seem completely rational. What about Saturday and Sunday?"

"Oh, well, that's easy," Shug gave a wave of his hand, "Saturday is way too far off. That would be too late. And, Sunday is today. There's no way I'm telling you that I love you today."

Shug froze. As I watched him, his face went dead white. He realized what he'd just said and it shook him.

"It's okay, Sugar," I whispered. "There's no way I'm telling you that I love you today, either."



A Second Chance Ch. 4



I booked us into a double at the Comfort Inn. Shug and I took our bags into the room. I'd just set mind down when he gathered me into his arms. He kissed me with a passion and warmth that set my head spinning.

In moments we were naked and lying in the double bed farthest from the window. Shug had left the lights on. I could see every feature of him as he lay himself down above me. He kissed me, beginning at my lips, then my forehead, temples, ears. He buried his face in my neck and I could feel his lips probing and pressing. Slowly and deliberately, in complete silence, he worked his way down my body. He paused to suckle at my breasts, sending those lightning shock through my body as he tongue my nipples. My hips rose and fell, my pussy flooding with anticipation.

Shug pressed his lips to my ribs and then to my belly. His tongue squirmed into my naval, creating a series of strange pulses that surged through my body. His trail of kisses continued downward, his tongue pushing into the top of my bush. I took hold of his head and lifted him away.

"Shug, don't," I said.

"Why not?" he wanted to know.

"Because," I told him. "It's nasty."

"Didn't Eric ever kiss you there?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, of course not."

Shug smiled, his eyes brilliant. "You don't know what you've been missing." He pressed downward, again.

"Shug, don't," I insisted.

"Caroline," he whispered. "This is you. This is your body. Here is your essence. It is warm and wonderful, and I'm going to love tasting you. Please. Let me. You'll see. It will be wonderful for you, too."

I released my grip on his head, closed my eyes and lay back, surrendering to him, prepared to yield to his desire. His lips pressed against me. I tossed my head from side to side. I really did not want him to do this. It was so alien to me, a mouth there among the odors and dankness. I was grindingly self-conscious.

A jolt of energy fired through my body. It felt as if a flow of hot gel had been shot through my nervous system. The warm liquid enveloped my pleasure center. I groaned with the exquisite energy. My hips involuntarily fired upward.

Shug backed away. I felt abandoned.

"You see?" he whispered softly. "Isn't it wonderful?"

His fingers spread me apart. He renewed his oral attack on me. I shrieked as his lips encircled my throbbing little button, his tongue alternately rough, then smooth, chafing, then slickly sliding across the nub. Sparkles exploded in my brain, and I suddenly realized that these were the stars people claimed to see. There was a roaring in my ears, while my arms convulsed and my hands sought something to grab for support. I clenched the bedclothes and wailed as Shug continued to alternately lick and suck on me.

His hands slid under my backside, and I felt him raise me upward. Suddenly, something drove into the entrance of my hole and I realize he had stuck his tongue in there. It wiggled and I screamed. I pressed my muscles against him, wanting to capture the tiny invader and hold it. My hips thrust toward him in a rapid motion, imitating the action of a violent fucking. I bellowed and wailed as the sensation ripped through me. The orgasm was as thrilling and electric as any I'd ever had. But, still, it felt almost peripheral. Deep inside me was a longing, a vacancy I desperately wanted filled.

"Inside me, Shug," I demanded. "I've got to have you deep inside me."

Shug stopped his ministrations, released my ass, and raised himself above me. He kept my legs on his shoulders, bending me almost double as he reared up. His member pressed into my sopping pussy and slid with slick easiness into my waiting quim. Here was the occupant to fill my aching vacancy. His cock touched base and I groaned at the sensation of being filled, penetrated and complete.

Shug began slow undulations, withdrawing, then re-inserting. I wriggled under him.

"Not slow, Shug. Not now. Later, maybe. Now I need you hard and fast."

My lover complied. He fucked me like a man possessed, with speed and force. My hips met his every thrust. I cried out, begging him to continue, demanding he do me, urging him to prove his manhood. Shug pounded into me, his eyes glazed, his face a grimace of effort. In spite of the coolness in our room, we were both sweating with the exertion by the time our screams and groans coincided and Shug poured himself out into me.

Later, as we lay in the golden afterglow, both our bodies still shining with the moisture of our labors, I smiled at him and asked, somewhat out of breath, "Is that what you call making love, baby?"

Shug chortled. "Well, at first, maybe. But, I don't know, Caroline. With you, it always seems to descend into just fucking."

"That thing you did, you know, down there, with your mouth?" I asked.

"Yes," he grinned at me. "When I ate your pussy?"

I felt myself flush. "Yeah," I nodded. "It's embarrassing."

"Is it?" he said. "But it's nice, too, isn't it? It makes you excited."

"Yes, it does that, I guess. But..."

"But, what, Caroline?" He leaned over and kissed my shoulder.

"Isn't it nasty?"

Shug rolled over on his back, spread his arms out and laughed aloud. I looked appreciatively at his strong, young body, stretched out in front of me.

"There are more germs in your mouth," Shug said, in his oh-so-reasonable tone, "than your pussy. Did you know that?"

"Really? How would you know that?"

"Med student, remember? Med students, especially guy med students, have a natural curiosity about such things."

I nodded. "Still," I persisted, "it's nasty."

Now Shug rolled back toward me. His eyes looked into mine. "It's oral sex, Caroline. Some people believe it's nasty. Some people believe any position other than man on top is nasty. You proved the fallacy of that this morning, didn't you?"

I nodded, still not convinced.

"Personally," Shug continued, "I like it. I like the feel of the soft, damp skin. I like the way you react. It's fun for me."

"So, you don't think it's gross," I said.

"Not for me," he said, rolling onto his back again. End of discussion.

I wasn't convinced but, we were done talking about that, I could tell.

We must have fallen asleep. When I awoke a few hours later I was covered with the blanket from the sheet. I started, looked around and realized I was alone. I sat up in the bed and looked around, taking several seconds to orient myself. I called out to Shug and got no answer. I crawled off the bed and checked the bathroom. Shug was gone. A strange fear gripped my gut. Had he left me? Was he gone for good?

It couldn't be, I thought. His pack lay on the other bed, the zipper open and articles leaking from the opening. On the long dressing table lay a hastily scrawled note on the chain's stationary. "Gone for a run. Be back soon." The tightness in my abdomen relaxed. I took a deep breath, then released it slowly. I didn't like the implications of my own anxiety.

I decided to shower while I had the chance. I luxuriated under the warm spray, cleansed my body and hair, then stepped out of the shower.

When Shug returned I was seated in front of the mirror, the dryer blowing on my hair. Shug walked in the door, his face covered with the sheen of his exertion. His T-shirt hung damply on his lean frame. I smiled at him.

"I thought for a second you'd run away," I said over the hum of the dryer.

Shug shook his head. "Uh uh. I left you a note."

"I found it, finally. Not before I got scared you were gone."

Shug knelt down in front of me, his bright, blue eyes gleaming. "What, and give up my ride into St. Louis?" he chuckled. He bent down and kissed my knee. I felt that stirring down there.

"I can't believe what you do to me," I told him.

"What did I do?"

"When you kissed me just now. You got my juices flowing again."

"Really?" Shug looked amused. He leaned over and kissed my other knee. "Like that?"

"Just like that," I nodded. "I can't be wandering around in this high state of arousal all the time," I added.

"Why not?" he said. "I like that I do that to you. You do it to me, too, you know." He stood up and showed me the bulge in his running shorts. He leaned over and kissed me on the lips, softly, but gently sucking my lips into his own. I caught the odor of his exercise.

"Whew, baby," I said. "You need a shower."

"On my way," he said, stripping his sopping T-shirt over his head.

While Shug showered, I dressed in a pair of white shorts and a black-on-white blouse which I knotted around my midriff. I tried desperately to bring some order to the curls around my head, finally giving up and going for the "just-out-of-bed" look.

Shug came out of the shower wrapped in his towel.

"Getting modest, are we?" I commented.

"You're dressed," he noticed.

"We're going to dinner. You'll have to wear more than that towel."

Shug dug into his pack for a shirt and pair of shorts. "We're going to have to find a Laundromat," he said, "or go on into St. Louis. I'm running out of clothes."

We went to dinner in a little diner down the highway a couple of miles from the motel. I ordered light, just a large salad and iced tea. Shug had a hamburger and fries. I was tickled when he told the tired waitress to hold the onions.

"How far is St. Louis?" I asked him while we waited for our food.

"Seven, maybe eight hours," he answered.

"How about we do it tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow's fine."

"What's going to happen when we get there?" I wanted to know.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I've got to see my Mom. Then, I have to visit my sister."

"Does your sister live with your Mom?"

"No," he said. There was a flat numbness in his voice.

We ate our meal in near silence. Shug devoured his hamburger, drinking three tall glasses of coke along with it.

We drove back to the motel. Shug propped himself up on a couple of pillows and clicked on the TV. I put some things back in my bag and went to sit next to him.

"Do you mind if I join you?" I asked. Shug scooted himself over on the bed and crooked his arm for me. I lay next to him, my head on his shoulder. I wrapped my free arm around him and held him gently. We lay like that for nearly an hour.

Finally, I told him, "Shug, I'm tired. Let's get into bed."

We stood, stripped and climbed back into the bed, sliding under the covers. Shug made love to me, slowly, gently. When I tried to spur him on to more vigorous activity, he resisted. "We're making love," he said. "Let me just make love to you."

I let him. It was glorious. He would bring me to the edge of ecstasy, then back off. Several time he repeated the process until my body screamed for release. Finally, he let me blast over the top with one of the most magnificent orgasms I'd ever experienced. I moaned and wailed my gratitude. My hands clutched his hands and my lips sucked at his. He spilled his seed into me with a groan that reverberated throughout my body.

We did the "primitive fuck" thing in the morning before packing the car for the run into St. Louis. I drove the first four hours. Shug took the wheel at lunch time and we motored toward the Gateway Arch. The closer we got, the more apprehensive Shug became. His jaw was set and he appeared nearly morose.

"What is it, Shug?" I asked him. "What's the matter?"

"My family. We have...I don't know...baggage, I guess," he admitted.

"All of us do, baby," I tried to reassure him.

"This is hard for me to do," he told me. "It's my sister."

"The one you're going to visit?" I asked. He nodded.

"It's not...well, I'm not really visiting her," he confessed. "It's her grave."

"Oh," was all I said.

"She died. When I was twelve."

"She was your older sister?" I tried to make my voice as soft as I could.

Shug shook his head. "Younger."

He spoke no more of her. I let it drop. I pressed my hand against his thigh as he drove, trying to reassure him.

The following day, at lunch with his mother, Madeline, I got the full story.

Madeline was forty-six. She was an attractive woman with a ready smile. Shug had inherited her good looks. I found that she was the source of his sparkling, dazzling blue eyes. She proposed the "getting-to-know-you" lunch while Shug visited his sister's grave.

"I'm very proud of Jeremy," Madeline told me after she'd ordered for us. We sat in the dining room of her country club. Sole was the special of the day. She'd asked if I minded her ordering for both of us. I agreeed.

"You have every right to be, Mrs, Shugart," I said. "He's a fine young man."

"Accent on the 'young'?" she smiled. "And, please. Call me Madeline."

"Do you think I'm too old for him, Madeline?"

"I don't know, Caroline. He seems as happy as he's ever been."

"I'll have to admit that this has all happened very quickly. I'm somewhat uneasy with that. Yet, Shug seems to have his head screwed on pretty well."

"Oh," Madeline said, with a broad smile. "You mean Jeremy. I can't get used to that nickname for him. Shug was my husband, you see. Jeremy's dad."

"I guess it comes naturally with the last name," I agreed. "Jeremy, then. He seems to be very mature for his age."

"Jeremy grew up quite early," Madeline told me. "Tragedy has a way of doing that."

"His sister?"

She nodded. "Jennifer was five. Jeremy doted on her," she said. "I remember when we brought her home from the hospital. He was about seven. He would hold her in his arms and rock her for endless hours. Her death devastated him.

"Their relationship was quite unique, really. Jeremy reveled in his role as older brother. Boys of nine and ten usually want to play with their friends, ride bikes and so forth. But, Jeremy forswore all that to be with his sister. Looking back, it seems like she was put here to teach him how to love. He made a good job of it.

"When Jennifer fell ill, she was about four. Leukemia. When they were doing all the tests, all those blood tests, the shots and IVs, it was Jeremy's name she would call. She would scream for him not to let them hurt her." Tears welled up in Madeline's eyes. "I can still hear her crying for him."

"You were hurt that she didn't cry out for her mother, weren't you?"

"I could have been, maybe a little," Madeline said. "But, even hearing her scream for him. I don't know how I would have managed if she'd been screaming for me."

She cleared her throat and dabbed at the corner of her eyes with the white linen napkin.

"It was very hard on all of us. Of course, because he was so young, Jeremy couldn't be with her. The hospital staff just wouldn't allow it. Until the end, that is.

"Just before she died, they let Jeremy come into her room with us. He held her hand. She was just five. Just a baby, really."

"That must have been terrible for you," I told her.

Madeline nodded. "She looked up at him and said, 'Thank you for being my big brother.' Then she told him, 'I have to go now. The other children are calling me.' She closed her eyes. A minutes later she was gone."

The two of us sat there, tear streaming down our cheeks.

"Jeremy walked out of that hospital with a determination that was frightening. He decided he would become a doctor. Eventually he confided that he wanted to do everything he could to make certain no other big brothers had to go through what he had," Madeline said. "He has stayed true to that goal since he was twelve."

"And you think I'm going to mess it up for him," I said.

"I don't know that, Caroline. I'm his mother. I'm concerned."

"I understand," I said.

"The thing is," she said, idly thumbing the handle of her fork, "Jennifer had one feature that caused constant comment. Before all the chemo, she had beautiful, dark, curly locks. A wild riot of dark, curly hair, just like yours."

Shug and I slept apart that night, he in his room in the big house, and I in the guest room. We didn't have time together alone until we left the following morning.

Madeline came out to the car as Shug loaded our bags into the trunk.

"Where are you two headed now?" she asked.

"Tulsa," Shug replied. "Caroline has to go home to her son."

"And, you're going with her?" Madeline asked him.

"Do you want me to leave you two alone?" I offered Madeline.

"It's all right," Shug said. "Mother, I love you. You can come with us, if you want. But, yes. I have to go to Tulsa with Caroline."

Madeline smiled. "You don't need me trailing along with you. And, I understand." She leaned toward me and offered me a kiss on the cheek. "Take good care of him, Caroline. I like you. I think you're good for him."

She turned toward her son and wrapped him in a tight embrace. "Don't slack off your studies just because you're in love," she said. "Remember, you owe the people of Carson's Mill six years of your life." 

"I remember, Mother," Shug said, kissing her lovingly on the cheek. "You take care."

Madeline stood in the drive and waved until we turned the corner and were lost to her sight.

"What's Carson's Mill, and why do you owe them six years of your life?" I asked him.

"It's a small town in the southwester corner of the state. Rural country. They're paying my way through Emory. Two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars. In return, I'll be their doctor for six years," he explained.

"That's an interesting development," I said.

"The commitment was made before I met you," Shug told me. "Actually, you're the interesting development."

Shug drove for a full hour before I had the nerve to tell him what Madeline had explained to me.

"You're mother told me about Jennifer," I said. "My heart broke for you."

Shug nodded, his face stony.

"She also told me Jennifer had dark, curly hair, just like mine," I ventured.

Shug drove on in silence for a while. "So, you think I've got some sort of sick idea that you're an incarnation of my dead sister?" There was a harshness, a cruelty in his tone that stunned me.

"Pull the car over, Jeremy," I commanded him. "Pull off to the side of the road now."

Shug slowed the vehicle. The tires crunched on the gravel of the shoulder. We stopped, and he put the gearshift into park. He crossed his hands over the top of the steering wheel, then laid his head on his hands.

I began. "What you just said, that comment of yours was as cold and cruel a comment as I've heard in years. I don't know what I am to you, Jeremy. I want to be your love. I want to be something special to you. But, you're right. If you think I'm an incarnation of your sister, it's sick and I want nothing to do with it."

"You're not," he said, miserably.

"I'm not what?" I asked.

"You're not an incarnation of my sister," he said.

"Then what is this?"

"Look, Caroline. I loved my sister. Part of me died when she did. There has been a hole in my heart ever since. I was frustrated at my own impotence to stop what was happening to her, my complete inability to help her, to heal her, to protect her. Certainly it has had an impact on my life. It has shaped who I am and what I have set out to do. But, I'm not a sicko, Caroline.

"If I love you, and I probably do, it is about who you are and how you make me feel," he continued. "We've got some pretty fair sized hurdles to leap for our relationship work. We'll have to deal with those. But, there is nothing in our relationship that is associated with my sister or her death."

"Except for the fact that it hurts you," I reminded him. "That impacts on everything."

"It does," he admitted. "The hurt and frustration propelled me into medical school. Those emotions drive me to succeed. They permitted me to make the agreement with Carson's Mill. Up until now, those were the driving forces behind my life. You, my dear, sweet, beautiful Caroline, you are the fly in the ointment."

"You don't have to worry about me, Shug," I said. "I can take care of myself."

"That's not the point, Caroline," he said. "The point is that I want to take care of you. I want to be with you. My honor, my integrity may be at stake. I owe the people of Carson's Mill. I have to fulfill that obligation. I don't know how I can do both, how I can take care of you and honor my obligation to Carson's Mill."




A Second Chance Ch. 4



"And, I don't know," I said to him, "how we can be in love with you in Atlanta and me in Tulsa."

"So, what are we going to do?" he asked, still with his head on his hands.

"I don't know, Shug. I don't know, yet. Do we have to decide all of this right now?"

Shug raised his head and looked forward through the windshield. "It all impacts, Caroline. If I am to fall in love with you, there has to be some hope of us being together. Otherwise, there's no point in continuing the relationship, is there?"

"I guess there isn't." Now my guts were knotted. A deep dread settled over me.

"'Tis better to have loved and lost," he whispered.

"Oh, god, Jeremy. Don't. Please don't do this," I whimpered.

"Can you come live in Atlanta for the next two years?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I can't. Nathan. His grandparents."

"What about Carson's Mill?"

I thought for a minute. "I don't know. I could, I guess. Maybe. I don't know."

There was absolute silence in the car. In my heart I knew there were tough questions to be answered, hard decisions to make. A huge lump settled in my chest as I pondered the many challenges that lay in front of us. The dread welled up inside me, running up my throat, constricting it, nearly choking me, and forcing tears to well up in my eyes.

"Please, baby," I begged him, my hand clasping his arm, "don't make me do this now. I don't want to do this now. We don't have to do this now, do we?"

I know I looked a wreck. Tears streamed down my face. I knew it had to be flushed. And, dammit, I thought, why can't they make a damned mascara that didn't streak all over you when you shed a little tear.

Shug looked straight at me. He smiled, then clasped his hand over mine.. "You just want to live for today, huh?" he asked. "Don't worry about tomorrow. Just pretend tomorrow never comes. Is that it?"

I nodded. "Something like that," I told him. "I just want to be with you, and love you, and put all that reasonable stuff off until...I don't know...until we have to face it."

He leaned over, put his hand under my chin and pulled my face toward his. He kissed me so softly, so tenderly, I nearly wept again.

"I must look awful," I said, pulling back from him. I turned to the visor and flipped down the vanity mirror. Sure enough, black circles and streaks marked my eyes and my cheeks. I dabbed at them with a tissue.

"You know, you don't need to wear all that stuff," Shug said, starting the car and pulling back onto the highway. "You're beautiful without it."

"You're a practiced flatterer, aren't you?" I responded. "That kind of flattery will get you laid."

"Really? When?" he asked. "Remember, it's been almost a full day."

"Are you horny?" I jibed at him.

"Completely," he nodded. "I want to make love with you so bad I ache."

"No making love this time, buddy," I said. "I need a primitive fuck."

"When?"

"Next exit with a hotel," I told him. "And, this time, do be so persnickety."

"I got some money at home," he said. "I can help with the expenses."

"Is your manhood challenged because I'm paying for everything?"

"It just didn't seem fair."

"You shouldn't worry about stuff like that, Shug. I'm rich," I told him.

"Are you?" He seemed amused.

"When Eric and I were married we had very little. We accumulated very little. The insurance premiums for a stunt pilot are extremely high, but Eric said it was vital to keep them up. For three years we scrimped and scavenged, we did without a house and furniture, all so we could pay those damned premiums. In the end, though, they paid off. When Eric was killed, he left me a three-million dollar policy. I'm rich, Shug. And, I don't give a damn about money."

"What did you do with it all?" he asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

"I put one million in the bank. The government took a lot of it. The other two I invested in a diversified portfolio. I've got a great financial whiz-kid who keeps track of it for me. Every month I get a check for about six-thousand. That's what Nathan and I live on."

"Sounds like you've got it well in hand."

"I do," I said. "So, quit worrying about paying for stuff. This is my trip and my treat."

Shug let go of the wheel and raised his hands toward the ceiling, palms up. "I surrender."

"As well you should," I grinned. "Look! There's a Best Western."