4 comments/ 10798 views/ 3 favorites A Look. A Touch. A Breath. Ch. 01 By: BlueFish11 What attracts us to one person and not another? I sat pondering this thought on my back deck. Smoking a cigarette and sipping my wine. The stars were out, sky was clear and the moon was three quarters full and shining off my wine glass. Sitting on the lounge chair in my "Life is Good" pajama bottoms and tank top, I looked for an answer in the swirls of dark liquid spinning in my glass. My hair stirred about my face as a light wind in the middle of May blew across my life. "Stacey! Are you coming in soon?" My roommate Beth yelled from living room. Grinding my cigarette against the bottom of the ash tray, I stood and swallowed the last of my wine. "Coming Beth!" I hollered back. Walking into the room, Beth assaulted me with her energy. "I'm going out. You are already in your pajamas? What is your deal? You need to get out; it has been like weeks, months, years – a century I think!!" She made me tired just having to listen. "Nope. Not going out tonight. Have at it babe." I molded myself into the couch and flicked on the TV. "Ok. I will let it go – again for now." Beth breezed over and hugged me and kissed my cheek. "You will get your fun back." I stared at her. "Me thinks I am getting my drink on this evening. Not getting my fun back." "Nite Stac." Beth closed the door softly behind her. I had moved to the East Coast following a bad break up after college in my hometown in California. A friend of a friend of a friend told me about a job in Pennsylvania and I took the job and drove cross country. Found Beth totally by accident – Craig's list posting for a roommate needed. I am really not the roommate type, but, when you are in a strange place having someone to give you some guidance is helpful - even if that person is only giving advice on where not to eat, and what park not to walk through after dark. Now I wouldn't give up Beth for anything. I went to the kitchen where I refilled my glass with red wine and searched through the fridge, finding nothing I wanted to eat. I turned the TV to a country music channel and picked up the light blanket off the couch and walked back out into the night on the deck. Wrapping myself up in the blanket, I laid back down on the lounge, and thought about Laith and wondered what he was doing on the California coast. Got past that thought and wondered what Beth was doing. Calming my brain I stared at the night sky, a few stars had already peaked out from their hiding places; taking the spots next to the moon high in the sky. Tried to think of nothing but slowly traces of Laith swirled back around my thoughts. Was it my fault? Did I not give in enough? I had stood my ground or was that just stubbornness. Someone really needed to write the rule book, the guidelines for cohabitation and a relationship book for dummies. I suddenly felt like Beth was standing over my shoulder giving me her strength. It was not my fault! I stood my ground like I should have and it was definitely all Laith's fault. Jackass. Closing my eyes and remembering how it felt to kiss him, his smell, how good the sex had been and then, remembering the sting of his hand on my face. Not my fault. Tears that no longer could be held back erupted from my eyes. Sobbing I wrapped myself tighter in the blanket and cried into its softness. The moon and her stars the only witnesses. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Ouch! Sunlight hurt my eyes. My body ached at every point it touched the hardness. Blinking my eyes open I realized I was on the floor. Raising my head an inch, caused the marching band playing the drums in my head to pound mightily, I recognized the living room floor. An empty wine bottle on its side rested beside me. I think it was mocking me! The wine glass lay beside it. Slowly rolling to my side I held my head and sat against the couch. Causally glanced at the clock on the wall and realized I had exactly 17 minutes to get my ass to work. At my new job!! What the fuck was my problem! Feeling like I was moving fast but in slow motion, I raced upstairs and started the shower. Yanking my nightshirt over my head and kicking off my sleepy pants and panties I pulled the shower curtain back. That was when I realized there was someone else in there with me. "Morning." A deep voice said I turned; one foot paused to step into the shower, hand on the curtain, steam already filming the mirror. A male person – in my bathroom, and taking a leak – and me naked! He casually flushed the toilet. "Don't step in until the bowl fills back up – tends to spike the water temp in this apartment." He said casually as he tucked his shirt in and zipped his pants. With that he was gone – and I was still standing there, still naked, with my mouth hanging open. Realizing again that I was bordering on lateness – I jumped in the warm water. Shampooing my hair and wondering if that stranger in the bathroom was Beth's boy toy from the previous evening? Quickly forgetting everything I rushed to work. No time to think about anything but work while I was there. Eight and a half hours later, walking into the apartment, the events of the bathroom interlude were completely forgotten. "Wahhhhh! Stac – your home!!!" Beth flew around the bar from the kitchenette squealing the entire time and hugged me. "You have like a half hour to get ready. We are going out – I am not taking no for an answer." Beth was talking a hundred miles an hour. I dropped my keys and purse on the counter, kicked off my shoes and fell backwards over the couch, covering my eyes with my arm. "Beth, Beth. I am not going out, long day at work, tired, and hungry, nothing to wear. Not ready. Can't make it. Very busy evening." My excuses ran together. "Stacey. I knew you were going to say that. So I picked out two outfits – you are borrowing mine –we are the same size." She said as she held up the clothes. "Your very busy evening is with the remote and a bottle of wine? You are not staying in again." I groaned. "Noooo. Can't." "Not taking no for an answer tonight – we are meeting some people for dinner and drinks. Move it or we are going to be late!!" She pulled my arm off my eyes and tugged me up off the couch. I let her pull me until we were standing face to face. "Beth, I really don't want to do this." Her breath hit my lips, smelling sweetly of strawberries and her eyes searched mine. "Stac, its ok. You can do this." Before I could say another word she kissed me full on the mouth and pressed the clothes into my hands. "Ten minutes – I mean it." She said quietly as she walked to her bedroom. Muttering to myself I walked to my own room and unwrapped myself from my work clothes. Pulling on the jean skirt and light cotton sweater as my feet slipped into the low sling backs on the floor by the bed. Spraying on some body spray and brushing out my hair I looked in the mirror thinking how much better that face would look lying in bed instead of going out. "Lets go!! Time to leave!!!" Beth hollered from the other room. Something that had been buried deep inside me was just a tiny bit excited to be going out. One last glance in the mirror and I headed out the door. Beth hurried me out of the apartment and to her car before I changed my mind. She continued to talk, jumping from one thought to another and not really worried if anyone had time to answer her. A few left turns and she paralleled parked on the street in front of a neon signed restaurant, only tapping the bumper on the car behind us once. She jumped out, still talking and grabbed my hand as we made our way to the door. Beth paused at the hostess and left me no time to take in my surroundings or comment before she motioned for me to follow. Following Beth like a puppy, I looked up just in time to hear a familiar voice say, "Good evening. You look great – even with your clothes on." A Look. A Touch. A Breath. Ch. 02 Time seemed to jump ahead and before I knew it, I was wedged in between Beth and the dark haired stranger from the bathroom. The booth we were in was in the corner of the restaurant. "Stacey, these are some of my friends from work." Beth proceeded to fly through the names and everyone smiled and said hey. She ended up at bathroom boy. "Stac I think you have met Mike before." Her eyes were laughing as he took my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Pleasure was, uh, is all mine." He caught himself as my face flushed and I removed my fingers from his hand. "Nice to meet you." What the heck was I thinking when I decided to go out. I nervously squirmed in my seat, trying to tug down the mini skirt that was riding up my thighs and realized as I leaned slightly to the side my sweater pulled to the side and exposed cleavage. Feeling awkward and uncomfortable I fixed my clothes and noticed first Mike's leg touching mine and Beth's hand on the knee of my other leg. I calmed, listening to Beth running the conversation. "Beth said you are from California?" I think it was Kim from Beth's work, who started the grilling. "Yes. A town called Durham. Northern California -- not near the coast." The table was silent as they listened to me which only made my face hotter. Beth was soon back to dominating the conversation. I felt myself relaxing, her hand still on my knee and Mike's leg touching more and more of mine. As the restaurant filled, the noise grew and our table had several smaller conversations going on at once. We ordered dinner and drinks. I downed my wine in two swallows and asked Beth to order me another one. "Beth." I placed my hand on hers. "I am going out for a smoke." I picked up my purse from between my feet. Attempted to hold the slightly too big sweater closer so it didn't gap and show my cleavage. In my nervousness I pressed harder into Mike's leg and accidently grazed the top of his thigh as I pushed away from the table. Beth was standing, waiting for me to slide out of the booth. Looking at Mike I mumbled, "Uh, sorry. I didn't mean to bump you." God, my face was on fire. Mike smiled and leaned into my space. His mouth inches from my ear. "It's ok Stac, you trying to cop a feel since you already saw it this morning." "What?" I looked up at his laughing eyes. The nerve of this bastard. First, his nonchalance this morning and now this. And another thing, who was he to call me Stac? I don't even know him. And he invaded my space. Beth watched me stomp away; the rest of the table was so engrossed in their conversations that they didn't notice the exchange between us or my attitude. "Stacey?" I heard her say as I made my way through the waiters and waitresses and the throng of people waiting for their tables. I emerged from the restaurant into the cool, night air and walked away from the door lighting my cigarette. I leaned against the building, pulling on my smoke and feeling the tension leaving my shoulders. People watching, I noticed a man walking down the other side of the street. Laith? The walk was the same, the body shape was the same and the hair was the same. I really have to stop this. I watched as a cute blonde woman ran into his embrace and his face turned towards me. Part of me wanted it to be him and felt a let down when I realized how stupid I was being and that it was some stranger across the country. Laith was no where near me. The lack of his physical presence sometimes felt as if I had lost a body part. I closed my eyes, remembering. I jumped when I felt someone standing next to me, shoulders touching mine. "Do you come here often?" Mike joked as he nudged my shoulder with his. "Hi." I pulled another cigarette from my pack and was startled when he held up a lighter. "You smoke?" Those laughing eyes. "Nope. Just carry it in case of emergency." He flicked it shut and I stared as it disappeared into the front pocket of his jeans. I quickly averted my eyes. "Thanks for the light." "Who were you staring at?" He asked. "What? When?" I blushed. "When I was walking towards you a few seconds ago. I noticed you staring across the street. You were very intent, leaning forward trying to get a better look." He looked inquisitive. I said nothing. Not wanting to get into my previous life. "Well, I came out to make sure you were not cross with me. I was just joking back there, about this morning and about you coping a feel." He trailed off. One minute he was sweet and the next sour. He was cute -- and I had seen him naked. I flicked my butt to the curb. "Ready to go back in?" I didn't wait for his answer to my question as I strode to the door. I heard and felt his steps as he caught up behind me and reach his arm in front of me to open the door. His knee bumped the back of my leg and his arm was brushing against my ribs as he held the door open. There were many more people than when we had left and for a second I was confused as to which way our table was. As I paused for a moment in the people swirling around me I felt hands on my waist that gently pushed me forwards towards the table. I let him guide me until I was standing at Beth's side. As Beth stood and let Mike slide into the booth she grabbed my wrists and whispered in my ear, "Where were you two?" My face flushed again. "Just smoking and talking." I managed to stutter. "Well Stacey, you are just in time to do a shot!!" Beth kissed my cheek and handed me a shot glass as I slide in next to Mike. Everyone raised their shot glass. "What are we toasting to again?" Another of Beth's coworker's asked, John I think he was. "Beautiful women!" Mike's voice rose above the restaurant noise. "I agree!" Someone else said as everyone threw their heads back and downed the shot. The heat from the shot burned a path down my throat. Warming me from the inside. I felt the heat spread through me and followed it with a mouthful of wine. Feeling myself relax even more I raised my head and Mike's face was in mine. Can't he stay in his space? "Stacey -- that toast was really for you." He said softly as he brushed a strand of hair out of my face. His fingers stroked my skin. I had a flash of kissing him. That smile on his face. I closed my eyes with the thought and then Mike melted into Laith. Laith was there, touching, touching my face. I swiftly opened my eyes and flinched instinctively. Mike pulled his hand back. "Sorry, Beth, sorry. Didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." Laith's features shifted back to the here and now and Mike was before me again. "Not you Mike, I just spaced out for a second." The gathering began to break up after a few more drinks and many more laughs. I talked a little more to a few of the others about California and my job and whether or not I like it here. As we threw money on the table and stood, I looked around and realized Beth was on the other side of the table. She was flirting with one of her coworkers. I instantly realized I never asked what Mike had been doing in our apartment this morning. "Stacey?" Beth hollered across the table. "I can't drive home." "Okay, neither can I." I answered as I watched the lights sway above me. "Beth, I got it. Stacey mind if I drive you home?" Mike asked. "Do I have a choice? Sort of like seeing you in the bathroom this morning?" I was smiling as Mike was now the one with the awkward look on his face. He smiled at my smile and held out his arm as we said good evening to the rest of the group. ++++++++++++++++++++ Readers and voters thanks so much!! Mr. Editor - thanks for the insight!