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A Gray Area

By: Deity



She was standing on the far side of the room. He had been having a conversation with some old friends when she walked in and stood near the wall next to the painting he had been drawn to look at all night. Now he wasn't looking at the painting. He was looking at her. 

Her.

Caden.

He had asked Collin if anyone interesting was going to be at his 'little' get together and Collin had come back with a list of names that would definitely be attending but he had failed to mention that Caden was going to be present. Perhaps he thought that if Cadens name wasn't mentioned then Jon would not think twice about attending the party. 

Smart Collin.

"Hey, Jon. You still with me here?" Chubby, sweaty fingers snapped in Jon's face twice bringing his attention back to the balding man in front of him. "You heard me, right?"

No.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. So how are the kids, Nester?" The bald man, Nester, shook his head disapprovingly. "You weren't listening, Jon. I just said Beth and Me got a divorce. She took the kids and I haven't seen them since last year." He ran a hand through what was left of his hair and gave the dirty blonde man a pained look. "They don't even call, Jon." 

Jon swallowed before answering, taking his time picking out the right words. "Nester, man, I'm so sorry. Everything will get better, I promise. Why did she divorce you anyway? You were a great husband and father." Nester smiled, soaking in the compliment. From the way he carried himself it looked as if it had been a while since he had gotten a good word from anyone. The proof of the mans constant stress was evident in every single one of Nester's features, especially his head. Last year Nester hadn't been bald. "She said I was overbearing, verbally abusive, a bunch of other shit. She paid our kids to make up some story that I hit them for no reason. God knows what else."

For a second Jon was regretting even asking. Nester was sweating just talking about the situation. Jon felt like breaking a sweat for simply standing next to him. "Nester, I can't te—"

Collins large hand slapped Jon on the back. "Hey, you! I honestly did not think you would come."

Jon looked over his shoulder at his friend. "I was just about to leave too." Collins smile dropped. "Why? Everyone is just now getting here."

Jon put his arm around his buddy's shoulder and led him away from Nester to the middle of the room, and faced him in the direction of Caden. 

"Why is that whenever you have these little parties, you always fail to mention at least one person on the guest list." 

Collin smiled and looked at Jon. "I have no idea what you are talking about, my friend."

Jon nudged Collin back into the direction he was supposed to face. "Don't play, Col. Why is she here? You did not say that Caden was coming."

The blond chuckled and faced his friend once again. "I don't say a lot of things, Pal. But you're a smart kid. I went to first grade with you, I know you can connect the dots." Collin knocked on Jon's head. "But you're an old man now so I'll help you out. This is a neighborhood party. If you grew up with us in the neighborhood, then, buddy, this is where you're at tonight. So tell me, why would you think your little girlfriend wouldn't be here?" When Jon said nothing, Collin patted him on the shoulder proceeded to walk away before turning around again. "Maybe you should, hm, I don't know...Maybe patch some things up with her?"

"Like what, Collin?" Jon hissed.

The blonde shrugged. "Her virginity maybe?"

At his friends harsh look Collin burst out laughing and walked away. That was just like Collin. To laugh at something that wasn't funny. Something that was far more serious than he had any idea of. He looked over at Caden again. This time she stood close to a man that didn't look familiar. His arms were rapped tightly around her waist and his face was buried in crook of her neck. He was whispering something. She was smiling. An unfamiliar feeling crept into Jon's gut. The feeling spread through his veins, into his chest and sat heavily on his heart. He wasn't used to jealousy. He never had to deal with it especially when all the girls he had ever been with had practically worshipped him but suddenly he felt as if the emotion had set up house and didn't plan on leaving for while. He wanted to hit something. To take his anger out on some unsuspecting chair or pillow.

Or Person.

As much as Caden hated him, the feeling wasn't mutual and as far as Jon was concerned, Caden was, to a degree, still his.

______

With every hand that Caden shook her headache only seemed to increase. Since she had walked through her old friend Collin's front door the same words had repeatedly been banging in her ears.

'You just had to say yes. You just couldn't say no, could you?'

She wasn't sure if she was all right with seeing all these people from her past. She had purposely moved out of California to get away from ancient history. Yet, here she was again, not just visiting, but also finding an apartment and staying. Collin was helping her pay the rent on a condo that wasn't to far from his place. Jason was helping her with...well, nothing. He was just there. He had the title of 'Caden's Great-Looking- Aspiring-Model-Richer-Than-She-Will-Ever-Dream-Of-Being-Boyfriend, and he didn't even think to help her find a place to stay.

'What a great guy,' she told herself every morning. One day she would believe it.

"Caden!" a shrill cry came from across the room along with loud shuffling. A heavyset woman rushed over to her and grabbed the hand that didn't have a drink in it. "Look at you! Sweetheart, you look fabulous! What happened?"

Caden smiled but look confused, "Beatrice!" She said, faking excitement. "Wh-what do you mean?" She didn't know whether to be offended or not. Beatrice slapped Caden's hand playfully and the shorthaired beauty avoided a droplet of wine that spilled over the brim of her glass. "Well, c'mon, C.K. I mean, when you were younger-" she leaned in "you were a little porker." 

Beatrice threw her head with her big red hair back and laughed.

Caden didn't. "Beatrice...I was ten pounds underweight when you knew me."

Beatrice laughed harder.

A few people in the room looked over and Caden felt like hiding her face. When she stopped she leaned in again. "Of course, you were, darling. So, how's life?"

Caden nodded, fighting off annoyance and her headache. "Life is good."

"I'm sure it is. Where did you move to again? Utah? Wyoming? Idaho?"

"New York, Beatrice. I moved to New York." She said through gritted teeth.

"Oh," B replied in mild interest. She was looking around for a different source of momentary entertainment and C.K. was thanking her stars that tonight she wasn't the center of attention.

"Who, in the name of everything that is sexy, is that?" Cadens' eyes followed B's chubby arm down to the red pointed fingernail until her grey eyes landed on Jason. She sighed, "That's Jason." 

"Jason?" B continued to stare. "He is ma—"

"My boyfriend." Caden stated plainly and when the big haired woman looked at her, C.K. flashed her a genuine sarcastic smile. "Jason Horowitz. He's my boyfriend. Next month is our one year."

Beatrice flipped an invisible strand of hair out of her face.

"Him?" she pointed to Jason. "And you?" She pointed to Caden.

Then she laughed one of her loud obnoxious laughs that made the whole room turn to her.

"Good Lord, Caden, if you're going to make a joke make it believable or wait until April or something. Why would a god like him date...you?"

She continued to laugh and C.K. made that her chance to get away. She slipped passed the heavier woman making her way to her boyfriend. She tapped him on the shoulder lightly and he turned around greeting her with a warm smile. 

"Having fun, babe?" He leaned in to kiss her but she moved away. "I wanna leave, Jason, now." He flashed a smile at a new friend that passed by then turned a worried gaze to her. 

"C, baby, why? What happened?" His brown eyes didn't look as concerned as his voice sounded. He flashed another smile at someone behind his distraught girlfriend. She snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Can you time out with attention seeking for a second?" Jason's' eyes found hers again and he smiled gently. "Baby, why would you want to leave? These are nice people. You grew up with almost all of them."

"Yeah, Baby and that's exactly why I wanna go. There's too much, I don't know, Me Culture." Jason stopped and looked down at the shorthaired beauty in front of him. Before he met her, he had never been a sucker for personality. It was always performance, stamina and attitude in bed, but there had been something about Caden. Something he had noticed from the first time he met her. Something that made you want to see what would happen next. 

"'Me Culture.'" he repeated. She nodded and he smiled then leaned in stealing a kiss on the forehead before she could dodge it. "No such word. Go Mingle." And with that he was walking away into a crowd of handsomely dressed men. The thought of following him crossed her twice in a matter of seconds but left her just as fast. She knew half those guys in the crowd and she wasn't in the mood to hear 'remember that time when we—' again for the rest of the night.

Caden looked around the room for an escape and found it in the form of a bathroom. Once inside, she locked the door and leaned her back against it, sighing tiredly. She needed a stiff drink. A few of them actually. She wanted to go back to her warm bed and loud noises in New York. Her photographs that lined every wall in her condo. Her mismatching furniture and bright colored sculptures. She missed it all. When Jason moved in he had been quick to talk about going back to California. He had said, 'Baby, if I can find a nice job in California then we can get our lives started.'

"I don't know about you but my life started nineteen years ago." She didn't need to move cities to get her excitement. She leaned against the door in silence before coming to a final conclusion. She needed to go outside and breathe. She needed air. Hot, muggy, polluted, California air. She needed something that would take her mind off the upper middle class party that was taking place in her friend's apartment. Something that would take her mind off of all the people that whispered about her as she walked by. Taking a strong breath she turned opened the door and took a brave step outside. Nobody seemed to notice her come out of the bathroom but if they did she could imagine them saying things like 'man, she had to go' or 'Jesus, I hope she prayed.'

Those thoughts helped propel her across the room to the door. Her door of freedom. She turned the golden knob and gave one last look to the party. Her eyes met with Collin's blue ones. He gave her a sad look that almost made her want to close the door and stay. 

Almost.

But she didn't, instead mouthing the words 'I'll come back.'

And with that, She left.

A Gray Area Ch. 02



She wasn't sure whether it was the light streaming in from her blinds or the constant ringing of her cell phone that woke her up but she was awake and wasn't ready to be. She laid in a state of half asleep and half awake shock for twenty minutes gently tapping her fingers on the bed sheets to the ring her cell phone let out before rolling over and making a grabbing attempt for the device. She flipped it open.

"Speak," She ordered lazily. 

"Good Lord, C.K., I thought you had died in your sleep." Collin's voice came loudly through the phone. 

"No, no," she answered. "That would have been a blessing, and me and God aren't on speaking terms right now." Caden hadn't been to church in years even though she occasionally wore the crucifix her mother gave her. Since her move to New York, church just hadn't appeased her like it had when she was younger. Upon her return to California, Candice, Caden's mom, had begged her to come to one service. Jason had jumped at the offer. C.K. had shuddered in horror. The idea of stepping back into an over crowded building with people singing brought the bile up into her throat.

"Oh, So you've taken on the role as the artistic agnostic? Clever. What's next? Should I expect deep philosophical teachings with a side of yoga and meditation?"

C.K. sighed. "No, that inner peace, center of balance shit kinda scares me. How many times did you call my phone and how long did it ring for?"

"I started calling at seven thirty, it is now...eight ten. You sleep like the dead, kitten."

"So I've been told. What did you need?" She heard him shuffling around his bed, probably climbing out of it. She did the same, throwing the blankets off and swinging her feet over. "I needed a buddy to come with me for croissants and coffee, and who better to go to the café with than my favorite person in town right now?" he sounded mildly excited but the words made her smile. She stretched her arms over head, holding the phone between her shoulder and her ear. Her earlobe mashed down a button. 

"Sorry," she said quickly. "Yeah, I'll go. Gimme a couple of minutes though, I'm stinky."

Collin laughed. "What did you and Mr. USA get up to last night? Late night high-endurance work out?"

Caden scoffed. "Hardly. Got to go, peace out Boy Scout. See you in twenty." She took the receiver away from her ear but not before hearing, "By the way!" She put it back in its original place between her ear and shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Bring some pictures. I wanna look at what you've been working on since you left." And before she could hang up, he did.

C.K. looked at the phone before flipping it closed and tossing it carelessly onto the bed. She stripped as she walked to the bathroom throwing her boy underwear and tank top across the room. She would hear it from Jason about that.

'Well, baby, I know your used to living in a bachelorette pad and don't have to clean anything but-' 

"Blah, blah, blah, blah" She finished the thought out loud while the water ran into the tub, heating up the whole bathroom. She stared at her naked body in the mirror. Her gray eyes were a loud comparison to her milk chocolate skin and the fluorescent lights of the bathroom made her self-conscious about how dark she was. That was one thing she hated about California. Mr. Golden Sun was always shining happily down on her making her darker than she wanted to be. She flicked a hand through her bed head and smiled. If there was anything she loved about herself, it was her hair. That short brown mat of straight yet uncontrollable hair that she wore so proudly with a flower, bow or a brightly colored headband. It matched her perfectly. 

She tore herself away from her reflection and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water wash away her fatigue. Last night had been a nightmare. Not just when she was at the party, but also when she got home. Jason came home late and half drunk, ready to fight or fuck, as usual. Her head didn't stop pounding until two in the morning and she didn't get to sleep until after three because she had been listening to Jason ramble on about absolutely nothing. 

Standing naked in the shower, she thought of all the things she had wanted to tell people last night. She thought of how much she wanted to call Beatrice a tub of baked lard and how she was dieing to throw her wine at Calvin Ambles face for laughing at her career.

'A photographer?' He had repeated, then began laughing much like Beatrice did, head thrown back, mouth gaping open. 'How much money is that reeling in?' 

"A sufficient amount." C.K. replied out loud, telling herself exactly what she had told him the night before. He hadn't believed her and she hated herself for letting her emotions get out of control. She had wanted to cry. Not just because of his comments, but because she hated being there, in that room, with all those people who knew her. Knew her past and her roots. Knew how she grew up and who her mom was (not that Candice Kristoff Winter was a bad person). She just hated the history. The 'me culture'. 

'And thankfully for me,' she thought while rubbing her skin with a soap covered loofa, ' the one person I dreaded seeing wasn't there.' A small pang of something unnerving echoed through her body. Disappointment? Was she really upset that Jon hadn't been there? Had she set herself up so high that when his beautiful face didn't shine through the crowd of people her mood crashed completely? 'No way. Jon was a dick.' She convinced herself. 'He blew it, and he knows he did.' She let that thought linger in her head before...

'But he was such a great guy. Always there, always nice, always cute, always encouraging, always sweet, always perfect. Not like Ja--'

"No!" She ended the thought abruptly, throwing her loofa dramatically into the tub. The last thing she wanted was to let her thoughts cloud her judgement. Especially on a catch like Jason Maldonado.

"A catch." She laughed, stepping out of the tub. The bathroom air was filled with the powerful scent of peach body wash and the bathroom mist clung to the mirror and doorknob. She used the palm of her hand to wipe the mirror clear so she could see herself. Her perky bed head had dropped from the humidity and lay flat on her forehead and neck. She blew some air upwards trying to get her bangs out of her face but they stayed. She sighed, opening her bathroom door, walking into the bedroom stark naked. The sunlight was beginning to come through the blinds in orange rays that made a picket fence on the far wall. Her bed was a mess, pillows on the ground, blanket half on half off, note under the—

C.K. walked over to the note that was forced sloppily under Jason's pillow. Her eyes flicked over the words lazily as she read out loud. "Baby-Cay," she hated it when he called her that. "I got called into work early but I should be back in no time." C.K. dropped the note, carelessly and went to her walk in closet, grabbing a remote off the dresser on her way over. She pressed a few buttons and the 5 CD changer came to life immediately. As the room filled with a smooth melodic guitar, Caden moved hangers around haphazardly looking for something comfortable. All her jeans were still packed away. She only had dresses and shirts. Caden looked out into her bedroom at the box on her far wall. In bright red words it read 'jeans' and had a long strike below it. She sighed. "Dress or Jeans?" she asked no one in particular. After a silence she asked again, as if waiting for her mind to answer out loud. "Dress or Jeans?" 

The song that played through out her room ended and went into a frenzied bass and drums song. "I'm feeling kinda dressy today." And with that she grabbed a white sundress and bent to pick up her white fluffy boots. She picked out her favorite black boys shorts and slipped it on with a matching bra. Over the strapless sundress she put on a white over shirt that covered nothing but her arms and shoulders and finished it with her white wide lense sunglasses.

"Perfect," she said to her bathroom mirror. The humidity had receded from the air and her hair had gone into a wild look. She ran her hands through it a few times, flatting some out of control areas here and there and when she thought it was perfect she grabbed her white headband and set it in the middle of her head. She flattened her bangs and flipped the back a few more times making sure she was perfect then left her bathroom. She grabbed her black folder on the way out of her bedroom. She opened it, flicking through some of the photographs before closing it and heading for the door.

The California morning was welcoming with its smoggy wind gusts and coffee filled air. To most it felt like home. Just another day in the life of a native, but for Caden it felt like a new high school in a new town (high school had been a nightmare for her anyways). Even though this was her hometown, she couldn't help but feel the heavy bearings of her past always pressing on her shoulder with every familiar sight she looked at. As she walked down the street she saw cafés where she used sit and listen to her music. She passed by arcades where she would beat all her guy friends at Mortal Kombat. Caden stopped in front of a French restaurant. There was a fancy name written in cursive that, still to this day, she couldn't pronounce. There were tables sets outside under the pavilion. Men dressed up in tuxedos normally sat at the tables across from women who wore expensive jewelry. Caden remembered when she was younger she would always walk by and say to her mother, "Its just dinner, gosh."

She kept walking.

The café wasn't far but C.K. had been walking the mile down memory lane. She was ready to turn around, go back home to her warm bed and loud music. The idea was almost unbearable until her destination came into view and in the window was Collin with his shaggy blonde hair and pretty boy smile. She had always like him. The reason why they never dated rarely came up. He was always just a friend. 

Nothing else.

His best friend on the other hand had been a different story.

"Fucking Jon," Caden murmured under her breath, as she took a seat in front of him. She set her black folder on the table near his coffee.

"Are you looking to court a snowman?" he asked nonchalantly. The seriousness of his face, as he looked at her up and down made her stifle a laugh that threatened to come up. Caden tilted her head to the side innocently. "I can't believe you don't like my outfit. I dressed like this for you. You love white."

"Um, not a whole closet of it. Kitten you look like..."he trailed off. , a smile coming to his face. "Well, I wont tell you what you look like but if you were aiming to stand out, then congrats. Mission accomplished." He ducked his head under the table then came back up. "White boots? And Ug boots at that. You get an 'F' for the day, and when we are finished here, your going home and changing out of that Antarctic camouflage."

Caden rolled her eyes. "I like it." She picked up a menu holding it up halfway. Now that she was in the general vicinity of food, she wasn't all that hungry anymore. The smell of the food had kind of filled her up. Instead she picked up her folder and handed it to him. He took it with an interested face and muttered a "let's see what we got here."

He flipped through the pages leisurely, his eyes scanning over every single photograph in the book. Every so often he would give a small smile or a quick nod, look up at her, then back down and flip a page. A waitress came up with a pad in hand ready to take orders. 

"Collin, you want anything else?" she asked him. He didn't acknowledge. Just kept his eyes to the page he was on. The waitress nodded, mouthing the word 'okay.' Turning her attention to Caden, she asked, "Would you like to try our double mocha special?" C.K. shook her head. "I don't drink coffee but I will take a hot chocolate, extra whip cream—"

"We know how she likes that whipped cream." Collin murmured still not looking from the book. C.K. kicked him under the table and continued her order. "Hot chocolate, extra whip cream and maybe a chocolate chip muffin." The waitress nodded refolding her pad and walking away.

Collin put the folder on the table, his eyes settled intently on her. C.K. held her breath for the criticism ready to come out. 

Here it was. "What's wrong with these pictures?" 

Caden looked at the open folder then up at Collin. She shrugged, "I was kinda hoping you could tell me."

"You want me to tell you?"

She nodded slowly.

"There is no life in these pictures."

A pause. "There is a little girl right there, I don't take pictures of dead things, Col.," She said, pointing to a little girl with ice cream on her rain boot.

"No, Cay Cay, that's not what I meant. I mean, look at all these." He picked up the book flipping through it erratically. 

"There is no color," he said finally. "All these pictures are black, white, and gray. You used to take pictures of fields of sunflowers. No one wants to see sunflowers in black and white. That's an abomination. What's wrong with you?" He put the folder down and picked up his coffee mug, sipping loudly. When he put down the cup he asked, "Are you in depression?" Despite the seriousness and truthfulness in the question, Caden couldn't help but bust out laughing. "I'm serious, I'm so serious, Cay. Are you depressed?"

"No," Caden answered still laughing. 

"I think your lying."

"Oh, is that what you think?"

"Yes, and you know what else I think?"

She sat forward on the table, a huge smile pasted on her face. "What?"

"I think that Captain America you're dating, isn't making you see stars and stripes in bed."

C.K.'s mouth gapped at his response. "What is up with you? My sexual life is very personal and satisfying."

"That's all fine and dandy. But How's the romance?"

Caden opened her mouth, quick to respond, and then closed it. 'Its fine' she wanted to say but then again she wanted to say a lot of things that weren't true. That being one of them. There was no romance. It didn't exist with her and Jason. It was just...them. In the condo. With her camera, and a bed. Every so often there was a rose or chocolates or a meaningful kiss but it was turning out not being how it was in the beginning. He had changed and if Caden had then that was because he did it first.

"Exactly," she heard Collin say but she didn't look at him. He was right. 

No Romance. 

Go Figure.

When she finally got the guts to look up at him he was sending a message on his cell phone. When he finished he flipped it closed and looked up at her. "Lets say you and me go to Benji's shop and see what he's got after this, alright?"

She nodded slowly, her mind elsewhere. She didn't even acknowledge when the waitress came back, setting her breakfast in front of her. Now she really wasn't hungry. 

"Actually, lets just go now..." C.K. offered.

Collin looked up at her from his phone that had just gone off from a text message alert.

"I'm not hungry anymore."



A Gray Area Ch. 03



The ride to Benji Ashton's music store had been a dead one. Whatever Collin through into the air as a question or a comment would fall like a brick to the ground with an embarrassing crash. 

"Are you okay, kitten?" he asked for the twelfth time since she had gotten into the car. Incessantly, he would ask her if she was ok and if she was feeling all right and she would simply nod her head looking out the window. When another silence passed he would ask if he had offended her and she would shake her head no. He would ask again in a couple minutes.

In the five minutes it took to get from the café to Benji's music store, now apparently called 'The Place', C.K. had thought about her life in its entirety. Everything. From the reason why she had the scar on her chest to her father's death to her flight to New York up to now. She had changed, not just in age but in personality. When her father died she had been some heartbroken teenager crying him and a guy that didn't care about her. Her rebellious abandonment of the high class life had been her escape from it all. 

She thought she had gotten away from everything. All the drama and imitation kindness. The hatred, the cheaters, the liars. 'Everything will get better now' Had been her thoughts on the plane. 

Obviously that had been a lie. Not a lot of things had gotten better and now she had another problem. 

Jason.

Captain America.

Mr. USA, whatever anybody wanted to call him.

He was the issue now. How deep into him was she? How much did she need him and crave him to get lost in him like she had. 

He had suffocated her. Suffocated her creativity, like a bug in a jar with no holes. 

And she had let him. She had handed him the knife to stab her with and now that she was bleeding to death she realized what was going on.

"Might as well have done it," She mumbled under her breath as Collin parked in front of the poorly painted building. Awkwardly he removed the keys from the ignition and opened the door, stepping out. It was evident the car was too small for him. The day he bought it she had told him that. His reply had been 'its not the size that matters, kitten, it's all about the motion of the ocean.' The memory brought a brief smile to her Caden's face as he opened the door for her and she stepped out. Even she had an issue getting out. He closed the door; turned to her and stopped when he saw the look she was giving him.

"What?" he asked.

"You need a new car,' was her reply as she walked past him and towards the door.

He scoffed as he fell into step behind her. "I told you, its not the size that matters, its,"

"The motion of the ocean, I know." 

Collin jogged ahead of her making a grab for the door before she could do it. He held it open as she walked through, his body following right after. 

Caden smiled at the sight before her. He hadn't changed it at all. The same odd plastic smell wafted throughout the room. The same guitars still lined the wall, each with a signature scribbled on the side. The same mess of CDs was still in the right corner of the room. The same Benji stood behind the counter, looking extra bright with his black and green hair. 

"No. Fucking. Way." Echoed through the room. Benji was smiling at her. , his blue eyes shining. "So when I heard that C.K. was back in town, I don't know what I was thnking but it definitely wasn't you, kiddo."

Caden walked through the store, making her way towards the front. When she got there she put her hands flat on the see-through counter, as if ready to talk business. "Maybe you were thinking...stuck up, snobby, selfish bitch from a ridiculously rich family?"

The multi-color haired man scrunched his nose up as if thinking then shook his head, his longs spikes not moving an inch despite the constant movement. 

"Nah, if I wanted to think of that I would probably think more Beverly Hills not here." With that he leaned over the counter and hugged her generously then pulled away looking at her up and down. 

"You look hot," He stated. His words came out as if he were saying the day of the week or the temperature outside. Behind her Collin cleared his throat. Benji looked at him then back at Caden. "In an intelligent, and very non provocative way." He added

"Uh huh," was Cadens reply, not believing a word he said.

It was then that she felt it. 

Felt him.

She felt his presence in the room before she even saw him walk out from the back. She smelled that familiar cologne that he always wore. When she was younger she thought it had smelled horrible, like a weird person that you stand next to in a line, and you couldn't tell if they smelled good or bad. But now. Now she could really smell it and analyze it and she remembered it.

Jon.

She looked past Benji with his green and black spikes and saw him walking out from the storage room, holding a cell phone. His face was lowered so all she saw was his dirty blond un-kept style of hair. He was still tall, towering over her height of 5'2 with his height of 6'3 and he wasn't skinny like he was when they were younger. He had been a stick with legs, head, and arms. Now, as far as she could see, he had filled out quite nicely and there didn't appear to be any belly peeking from under his shirt so it was probably muscle.

Caden looked back at Collin to see if he saw what she did but he seemed unfazed by the whole situation that was going to play out in a matter of seconds. He kept a straight face and met her gaze when she turned to him. 

He shrugged. 

Caden gave him a desperate look, her eyes screaming 'can we leave?'

"Yo, Jon look who is back in town." Benji said. He slapped a hand to the taller mans chest to get his attention then pointed to C.K.

Jon glanced up from his cell phone in mild interest, looked back down and then back up, his hazel eyes meeting her grey ones. He tucked away his cell phone into his back pocket and folded his arms in front of his chest. 

Silence loomed in the room before Collin's voice cut in. "I didn't know you were gonna be here, Jon."

Caden didn't have to turn around to tell that he was lying. It was in his voice. That slight sound of mockery played in his words like a child on monkey bars. She didn't know whether to feel betrayed or grateful. Jon had been on her list of people to see, but not now. Not so soon. She hadn't been ready yet. And she was sure she looked like shit. Instinctively she brought a hand to her bangs and smoothed them out. The action brought a smile to Jon's face.

"C.K.," she felt a chill go down her spine at his voice. Her name rolled of his tongue like ice cream on a hot surface. "It's been a while. You look..." his eyes roamed her body, searching for the word that would best compliment her. "Good," he said, finally finishing. 

'Don't. Say. A word.' She told herself. 

And she didn't. She simply stood there, nodded once, then looked at the ground. Inside she was screaming from the awkwardness of the whole situation. This was not what she planned. She wasn't ready to see him yet. He was always so dam—

"Are you not gonna talk to me?" he asked softly. "Or are you still mad about that whole sit—"

"I told you before that I was over that. We don't need to bring it up again!" Cadens raised voice was like a snap of electricity in the air. Benji took it as a sign to leave and he did, disappearing into the back of the store, leaving the three alone. Collin cleared his throat, breaking the silence that was lingering after C.K.'s outburst. "Well this is unexpected," he began. Caden looked at him. 

"You don't sound to surprised," she said. Collin shook his head incessantly "Oh, no. I'm just as surprised as you are. If I had known you two would meet up I would have brought popcorn and gummy bears." She rolled her eyes and then mouthed the words 'that's not funny.'

When she turned back to Jon he was leaning against a wooden box of records that was connected to the wall. His arms were folded and his eyes were intently watching her. He was studying her. Getting to know her again without having a conversation. He was good at reading body language. 

Even better at hiding his own.

She was beautiful. He didn't know how else to put it. She was a goddess and even though she stood in front of him with her face twisted into an attitude, he still had to stop himself from walking over and stealing a kiss.

He could tell just by her eyes not meeting his that she was uncomfortable. Her mind and body wanted to leave but her heart wanted to stay with him. She wanted to talk out their problems, work out their differences. Fix everything and anything that caused conflict between them (which was a lot). 

But something stopped her.

Pride.

Even when she was younger she never wanted to be the one to say sorry, and in this particular situation, nothing was her fault. The only thing she had done was fall in love with the wrong guy.

Him.

And Jon? He had fucked up royally by ignoring the signs. Instead of being there when she needed him he had broken away from his fathers wishes. He had lived the party life; going out every night, drinking, fucking, doing drugs. The typical rock star/rich boy life. And when he finally came to his senses about Caden and how he really felt, she was already gone. Taking a one-way trip to New York to pursue her photography career.

"Can we go, please?" Caden asked. It took Jon a few moments to realize that he had been staring at her. The whole time while he had been daydreaming, his light hazel eyes had been holding her gaze intently.

"Yeah, we should head out. I cannot look at you for one more second in all that white." Collin held his hand out to guide Caden to the door. She followed not bothering to look back until she reached the door. He gave a quick wave not expecting one in return and proceeded to walk into the back of the store. 

He heard the door open then close but didn't look behind him. She was angry with him. He didn't blame her. A continuous beeping sounded off through out the room and Jon gave himself a quick pat down to find his cell phone.

When he flipped it open it read 'One Message Received.'

He pressed the accept button.

From Collin, 'Go To Beatrice's Black And White Party Tonight. I'll Get Her To Go.'

By her, Jon assumed, he meant C.K. Hesitantly he pressed the reply button. The ringing in Jon's ears told him that this was a bad idea. He would regret even thinking about meeting up with her at a party but he needed to talk to her. 

He needed to sort things out with her. Jon pressed to buttons on his phone then closed it. He paused where he was momentarily then began walking. He took the back door out of the store and couldn't suppress a smile when a thought came to him.

'Tonight is going to be interesting. I can already tell.'



A Gray Area Ch. 04



Jason was singing in the shower. His deep toned voice was humming through the walls as he belted out the final note of a song he recently heard on the radio. The smell of his soap had floated through the crack under the bathroom door into the rest of the room filling it with a smell that reminded Caden of the men's cologne department in Macy's. In the mirror, she saw that her nose had taken on a reddish color from all the sneezing she had just done. She was allergic to cheap smelling stuff like that and he knew it but he continued to wear it despite her constant pleading. 

Jason had come home in a rush, busting into the room, barking orders for C.K., at the time lounging in her favorite chair, to get dressed. He had rushed into the bathroom and as he undressed and turned on the faucet to the tub, he explained that Beatrice was having a black and white party. While in the shower he continued to tell her random things that happened to him. Random, unimportant things like how he had met some photographer she had never heard of. Every time he finished his story he would add an 'isn't great, baby Cay' just to make sure she had really been listening 

"Yeah, that's great." She replied once he ended his third uninteresting story. Then he had begun singing, which brought C.K. to where she was, standing in front of the mirror staring at herself. Her hair, as usual, was an un-kept nightmare that she adored. She was entertaining the thought of not even combing it through for the party. She was already dressed, wearing the same black dress she wore to Collins get-together and this time she sported a black bejeweled flower on the side.

Caden didn't even notice when Jason turned the water off until he was standing behind her drying off his skin with a hand towel.

"That's a hand towel, J," she said. Jason looked down in mock surprise and smiled. The white of his teeth was a stark and scary contrast to his Mediterranean colored skin. She could tell from the look in his eyes that he was hoping she would ask him to remove the cloth that covered all the major parts.

She didn't. 

"I know," he said slowly. "You wanna grab me a big towel from the hallway?" There was a pause before Caden walked past him to the hallway and returned shortly with a big blue towel. When she outstretched her hand to hand it to him, he pulled her in, turning her around so her back was pressed to the front of him. His damp arms wrapped tightly around her waist, and C.K. fought off a bout of annoyance as the sides of her dress stuck to her skin from water droplets.

His breath tickled her neck as he whispered "I missed you today."

Caden couldn't help but smile. His familiar Macy's scent tickled her nose.

"I missed y—"sneeze "too." 

His smile pressed against her neck. "I forgot you were allergic to this stuff." She let her head lull back against his shoulder as his body fell back onto the wall behind him. They stood there in silence, Jason's face fitting nicely in the crook of her neck leaving small kisses. C.K. felt her skin begin to heat and knew it was time to pull away from him and when she tried he tightened his grip turning her around quickly to face him. 

"What's wrong with you," he asked softly. Forehead touched forehead so that when Caden looked up at him she was met with dark handsome eyes. "What's wrong, baby Cay?" His big hand went up to smooth out the back of her hair.

"I don't know what you mean," was her answer, as she tried to avoid his grooming. She had hoped to keep her hair untamed for the party but had a feeling Jason wouldn't allow it. That was an unspoken rule. 

'When your out in public with Jason Maldonado, then you'd better look like a million bucks'

Caden looked like a million dollars.

But only when she felt like it and right about now she didn't feel worth anything.

"You know what I mean,' his perfect lips, met hers briefly. "You have barely said a word to me since I got home. I thought you would be going on about how great your breakfast with Collin was. Speaking of which, how'd it go?" Another kiss

"It was alright," her eyes were closed in expectance of another kiss. "I'm just...I don't know, baby. I just got a wake up call today."

Jason gave her a confused look and shifted his stance, spreading his legs a little and releasing his grip on her till it was just his hands on her waist. He held away from himself a little so he could look at her directly. His face had taken on a hard edge letting her know that he was serious. A heavy atmosphere had settled in the room. 

C.K. was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and she had no safe place to put her eyes. If she looked to her left or right it would seem that she didn't care about the situation. If she looked up, she would look like she was about to cry or say something equally dramatic and if she looked down she would be staring face to face with a different part of Jason's anatomy that she wasn't, at that time, in the mood to meet.

'Maybe later,' rang in her ears and she couldn't help but smile. "Your naked," she stated, looking down at him unashamed. His black eyes followed hers looking down at himself, half erect and proud.

"So I am," his mouth tugged at the sides. "I'm worried," They're eyes met again. "You're resisting me tonight. The hand towel thing and this is kind of a ploy, if you hadn't noticed.

Despite Caden's semi dark skin, Jason could tell she was fighting off the color that threatened to over flow her cheeks. "We only have thirty minutes to get there and you, sir, are not even dressed. We don't have enough time for extra curricular activities."

"Thirty minutes is plenty of time."

She didn't know what to say to that. It was plenty of time to do what he had in mind, but like she was going tell him that. Instead she pushed away from him after a brief yet satisfying kiss and a quick slap on the butt. 

"Get dressed."

She returned to her spot in front of the mirror disheveling her hair until she saw Jason return to the bathroom. She let a small sigh pass through her lips and closed her eyes rubbing her temple. How close had she been to telling him about her encounter with Jon? The words had been right there, threatening to spill over like an overfilled water bottle. And if she had told him...dear God, that would have been a train wreck. 

"Hey C.K.?" Jason called from the bathroom.

"Yeah?" Caden's answer was quieter and she saw through the mirror that Jason poked his head out to see if she was still even in the room. "Baby?" He asked again, obviously not hearing her before. Instead of answering she turned and faced him. "Eh, baby, I want you to think about this before you answer me ok?" his whole body emerged from the bathroom and she saw that he was fixing the collar of his shirt.

The word 'no' was already playing heavily on her lips.

"I invited a friend from work-" 

"A girl?" C.K. interrupted him.

"A friend...that just so happens to have a vagina, yes — but not one that I am interested in though. I love only yours, b—"

"You invited her to the party?" She hated it when he went off on a tangent like that.

When Jason nodded slowly she felt her blood heat. "And...can we just stop by her apartment and, you know, give her a ride?"

The shocked look that super glued itself to her face came faster than the understanding of his words. Had her boyfriend seriously just asked her to allow him to pick up a 'friend from work' and take her to a party with them? Was she seriously losing her mind?

"You're joking." 

Jason cocked his head to the side a little and gave her a look that made her prepare for the excuses ready to come.

"Baby Cay, she is a nice girl. I work with her, its nothing. She's just looking for fun and new people. Nothing serious."

There was a thick pause in the air before Caden blinked a few times then said, "I'm sorry, I was just losing my mind for a second there, did you just ask me to let you pick up another women, and let her come to a party with us?"

"Baby-" he began.

"No no no no no no no. Are you serious?"

"Caden, you're overreacting. It's a friendship. Stop acting jealous. It doesn't suit you."

C.K. opened her mouth to say something but closed it and covered it with a sarcastic smile. "I'm gonna go wait in the car, okay?"

He didn't answer and she knew he wouldn't have even if she had stood there for twenty whole minutes staring him down. On the way out she grabbed her black pumps and proceeded to the car. 

"This is unbelievable," she told herself. "I can't believe I'm allowing him to do this." She scrunched her nose. "I'm acting jealous? I can't believe this."

As he got into the car and drove out of the lot she still spoke to herself in her head. 

'I bet she is blonde. He loved blonde girls. With blue eyes and fake tits.'

They pulled into an apartment complex, parking the car in front of Apartments 400- 600. When Jason shut off the car he turned to look at her. His hand snaked up her shoulder into her hair, rubbing her scalp. He knew her weakness.

"She is just a friend. Just treat her like you do Collin or someone else. You like her."

"No, I wont."

"Why do you say that?" He stopped his ministrations. 

"Because I never like the people you associate yourself with," her eyes refused to meet his but she knew he was looking at her. She knew his face was deeply set with a hard look and a muscle pulsed inside his jaw.

"Why is that?" he asked. His large hands began rubbing her scalp again but this time more aggressively. 

She waited a beat before answering. The breath she took in before beginning was loud. "Because. Your people and me don't click. Your people," she pointed to him. "Look at me as if I'm a hippie, just out with my camera and my film strolling along the street taking pictures of obscure things like lady bugs and homeless people," She pointed to herself. "I look at your people like narcissistic crack junkies puking up last nights chicken and walking down a runway with clothes that, nobody is going to wear."

Jason pulled his hand out of her hair and faced forward. His hand gripped the steering wheel like a lifeline and his tanned knuckles turned into an off-white color. "Is that what you think of me? I'm a crack junkie doing nothing but exercising my legs down a strip of wood?"

Caden faced him and smiled sweetly. "I haven't seen any needles or vomit, so I think your safe."

J's knuckles gripped tighter and Caden shifted in her chair nervously. She was having an out of body experience. Since when did she talk to Jason like that? Since when was she so mean like that? Since when was she so honest like that?

"You're being a bitch tonight. If you want I'll drop you off at home."

Caden sank low into her chair, embarrassed by being called a bitch. "I just had a bad day," she whispered. "I didn't meant to take it out on you." 

She felt his eyes on her again but he made no attempt to comfort her. 

Just stared.

Then slowly he loosened his grip on the steering wheel and ran a hand through his gelled up hair. "She's coming. Please just act normal." His voice was tense. 

He was scared.

Scared that she would embarrass him.

Caden sat up a little to get a good look at the woman approaching the car. 'Of fucking course,' she said looking directly to the woman's blond hair. It bobbed nicely as she walked towards them. Her boobs on the other hand, didn't. 

"I heard fake boobs don't bounce," She couldn't help but say. Jason didn't say anything. He didn't make a movement as if he had even heard her and she was glad. He would have said something really mean to her if he had. Something like 'hey maybe you are a hippie and your jealous.'

Maybe she was.

Unconsciously, Caden looked down at her chest. Her boobs were normal. Not big and not small. Nothing extravagant. And definitely nothing fake. 

The left backseat door opened and the weight in the car momentarily shifted. The air in the room was overtaken for a second by more Macy's cologne. 

"Hey, J. Thanks for the invite" her voice was high pitched and Caden couldn't help but jump when she heard it. Jason shot her a warning look before looking to the back seat and smiling. "Chasidy, glad you could make it." He said backing up and taking off out of the parking lot. A silence hung in the air before C.K. lost her patience and turned to the back seat. "Hi, Chasidy was it? I'm Caden Kristoff, Jason's girlfriend."

'I just want to let you know that if I had my way your ass would be waiting outside your apartment all night,' was what she wanted to say but held her tongue and extended a hand. Chasidy took it graciously and shook once. "I've heard of you. I've never seen your photographs but I've heard they're very..." her words hung in the air before Jason filled it in. "Abstract"

"Yeah! Very different and random from what I've been told. Why don't you take pictures of Jason? I'm sure he would make a decent work of art." She laughed as if it was funny and Jason joined in too. It took all of C.K.'s strength to pull a smile from her depths and when it came, she was sure it was horrifying. A perfect window shopper's display of falsified happiness.

"Well, I don't take pictures of Jason because I'm not that sort of photographer. I take pictures of...well, of the simpler things in life. Like a rainbow behind a field of sunflowers or an old gypsy woman with multi colored beads around her neck and odd colored eyes. Things that people wouldn't normally stop to look at." Caden could almost feel the coolness of the intellectual winds blow right passed Chasidy's head. Nothing that had just come from C.K.'s mouth was processed into the little blonde brain and she couldn't help feel that those breathes it took to say all that could have been used for more useful things.

'Like giving myself CPR after I drown myself in Beatrice's pool'

"Oh," The blonde girl in the backseat finally said. Caden assumed everything had at least touched surface but not sunk in.

"Tell her how good my photographs are, baby." Caden nudged Jason. Out the corner of her eyes she saw Chasidy's mouth set into an attitude shape. 

'Jealous?' Caden wanted to ask.

"They're alright." Jason said. C.K. felt her heart stop. There would have been a silence had Chasidy not coughed in the background, seemingly holding in sudden uncontrollable allergies. 

This wasn't normal. 

Normal would have been: 'Tell her how good my photographs are, baby.'

'Oh wow, I love them, especially the one with the girl with the ladybug on her face. Brilliant.' And then he would have leaned in and given her a kiss.

Caden sank back into her chair, as they pulled into Beatrice's mansion driveway. Expensive cars lined the grass and Jason decided to take a spot next to a Ferrari. When the car was turned off Caden unbuckled her seat belt and got out sped walking to the door and letting herself in. She didn't bother waiting for Jason so escort her. Chasidy would help him.

The tears that had threatened to spill in the car were now flowing freely down her face as she walked through the crowd.

She needed to find a bathroom to lock herself in.

Or maybe a pool. 

Drowning was always an option.



A Gray Area Ch. 05



"Kitten, what's wrong?" Collin banged on the door for the third time in one minute. He had been one of the many people to see Caden walk into the house with tears rolling down her cheek and followed her when she ran to the bathroom. He knocked again. "Caden Kristoff, if you don't open this door right now, I'm gonna-"

The door swung open. C.K. stood in the door frame, her little brown nose reddish and her cheeks shiny from old tears. "Your gonna what?" she asked. "Break down the door? The wood on that door alone probably cost more than the rent for my condo." She walked passed him and took a seat on the bed. Collin followed, sitting next to her.

"What happened?" he asked. His arm snaked around her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. 

"Did you see that girl Jason walked into the house with?" She asked, looking at the ground. The arm that had been around her shoulders went slack. 

"What?"

"After I came home from breakfast, I took a long nap, I read, I took a photo or two from my window. I just needed some quiet. Some time to think, you know?"

"Yeah."

"But, Jason came home in a frenzy. He was so eager to come to this party. 'Put some nice clothes on, baby. Please fix your hair.'" Collin laughed at C.K.'s imitation of him. She cracked a smile before continuing.

"And he could see that I was stressed out about something and we all know the Maldonado Stress Reliever—"

"Sex," they said at the same time.

"So naturally after what we talked about at breakfast, I'm not in the mood for it. And then WHAM! He hits me with this 'hey baby, can we go pick up this chick from my work," C.K.'s eyes found Collin's and he could see that they were fresh with tears.

"He said I was overreacting and that I was being a bitch, which I was, but he didn't have to say that to me. So needless to say...I let him pick her up."

Collin's mouth hung open. "I'm sorry. Can I speak to Caden because the Caden that I know would never let Jason pick up another girl and go to a party— what are you smoking?" C.K. shrugged. She ran a hand through her hair and sniffled.

"And I asked him about my photographs, if he liked them or not, and you know what he said just because that girl was in the car? He said they were 'alright'. What the fuck is that? 'Alright?'" She started crying again. And Collin reached for her, pulling her into a tight hug. "You don't think I'm overreacting, do you?" She said in between sobs. Collin shook his head and kissed the top of hers. "I think you need to take a Pamprin or a Midol and take a long nap. You've had a rough day, Kitten. I understand." The two of them sat in the silence listening to the hum of voices from behind the door.

"What does she look like?" Collin asked after a while. C.K. got up from the bed and grabbed one of Beatrice's bra's that had been hanging from the mirror on her dresser and put it to her chest. Her small body looked ridiculous with Beatrice's over stuffed water bra.

"She's like this except it's not water, its silicone. Her lips are nice and red and full of collagen." Collin laughed so she continued. "Her hair is perfect and perky and blonde."

"Hair extensions," Collin said in a high pitched voice. This time it was Caden's turn to laugh. "Her hip bones stick out so far, they could be classified as weapons."

"She's had so much botox that her face would have a chemical reaction is she stayed in the sun to long." Collin lay back on the bed laughing so hard he thought is stomach would burst, and Caden had fallen to the floor curled up laughing. She could only imagine what people outside the room were thinking about all the noise they made, but she didn't care. She would have rather been there on the floor, about to pee her panties than outside listening to rich people talk about nothing.

There was a quick knock on the door and both of them sat up and looked at each other. Caden nearly jumped off the floor, fixing her skirt and hair while Collin straitened out his shirt and hand ironed the bed. "Come in," Collin said. He cleared his throat. The door knob turned and gave way to the door as Jon walked in. Looking around his eyes passed over Collin and landed on C.K. 

For a second, Caden thought her heart was going to explode from the rate it was beating. Jon met eyes with her as he closed the door behind him. Collin visibly relaxed and took his seat back on the bed but Caden stood on her side of the room, shoulders back and chin up.

"I can hear you guys from outside," he pointed his thumb behind him to the door. "What's going on?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed together. 

"I thought you were Beatrice, coming in here to tell us to get out," Collin said. He went back to his laying position on the bed, letting out a sigh of relief. Jon closed the door and leaned against it, folding his arms. Through his black shirt Caden could see muscle flexing as the arms intertwined together. "Why aren't you out there with Jason?" Jon asked. He watched her intently as she tore her vision from his arms to his face but still said nothing. 

In response, she simply shrugged. Collin sighed and stood from the bed. He brushed his hands over his jeans loudly. "Well, I'm gonna head out and see how everything is holding up out there." Caden practically jumped at the opportunity to leave. "Yeah, me –"

"No," Collin stopped her. He opened the door stepping through halfway then turning back to look at her, then Jon. "You two need to talk and that's what your gonna do." He slid the door close, leaving an awkward silence to waft in the room. Jon stepped forward, opening his mouth to begin but Caden held her hand up, stopping any words that would dare spill out.

"I don't want to hear your excuses. I don't want to talk. I don't want to make amends with you. I don't want to be friends. And I—"

"Don't even wanna be lovers? Secret lovers?" C.K. looked at him. She knew he was kidding but still took it to heart, storing it some place where she could reflect on it on a night when she couldn't sleep. "I definitely don't want to be that." Jon walked over to the bed taking a seat and looking up at her. A small smile played on his lips at the thought of how she must have felt. When he said that her eyes had met his directly and she had been looking for something. Hoping that maybe he was serious about his question.

He wanted to tell her that he was but he didn't. She was already uncomfortable enough. "Look," he began. "Kitten—" 

"Don't call me that." 

Jon sighed then started over. "Okay, Caden. I know you don't want to be friends. I know you hate my guts. I guess I can see why. I was a prick to you but you have to understand."

"Understand what?" she asked. She took a few steps back and leaned against the back wall, folding her arms. Jon looked up at her and saw her gaze already piercing his. She was waiting for something good, and Jon had nothing prepared. He should have been more prepared for this. Collin had told him to be. Both of them had planned this out perfectly and on the way To Beatrice's the two of them did a quick run down of everything. Jon thought he had it. By the look Caden was giving him now, it was obvious he didn't.

"I was a loser. You know me and my dad were having problems. My family was breaking apart and I didn't know what to do."

"So what? You go out and drink and party and sleep till evening and neglect everyone else because of that?" He opened his mouth to speak but she continued. "My father died, Jon. He died. And you never saw me pick up a single bottle or walk into any club. I didn't try to throw myself into anyone's arms but yours. And what did you do?"

"Ca—"

"Oh yeah, that's right. You kicked me to the curb, Jon. Not even the curb. You kicked me to the goddamn street. And it took me moving to across the country for you to figure out how you felt? You're pathetic. You really are, and everyday when I wake up in the morning I wonder what I was thinking, if I was thinking at all." She looked at him. Her eyes were hard and passionate and Jon felt his heart stir in his chest. 

This was the full extent of her pain. 

This was how she felt. 

He had hurt her, made her feel like this and he couldn't help but feel guilty.

"I know I screwed up," Jon said quietly, looking down at his hands. "That's why I'm asking for something. An 'I except your apology' maybe? A 'maybe we can work it out'?"

"No. No I don't except your apology and no, we can't work it out." Caden sat up from the wall here arms were no longer across her chest; instead one was limp at her side and the other as tangling itself in her hair. A tell tale sign of her distress. "I don't want to be your friend, Jon. I don't want to be your friend, your neighbor, your girlfriend, your secret lover. We aren't even acquaintances." She shrugged, her hand falling loudly to her thigh. "I don't know what you were expecting from this conversation." She began walking to the door, slowly, and Jon waited to see if she would change her mind and stay a while. 

She didn't. 

She turned the knob opening the heavy wooden door and exited. As the door closed behind her,

the dirty blonde haired boy felt a part of him leave with her. He had tried once again to fix things he'd failed. Jon cracked his knuckles and sighed. His and Collins plan wasn't working. 

'In fact, I think I actually made things worse.' Jon couldn't help but think. Tonight she was probably just going to go home, tell Jason what happened, and he presumed by about three tonight he would be in the emergency room.

'What mother fucker? You lock my girl in a room and try and patch up some old sores? How fucking dare you? Stay the hell away from her...' He could already hear the tanned model yelling that in his face and Jon almost wiped away some imaginary spit that flew from imaginary Jason's mouth. Even for a second he though there was an imaginary bruise forming where Jason would probably punch him.

Instinctively, Jon reached up and touched his cheek but nothing was there. 

There was no bruising.

At least not on the outside. The only place he was bruising was inside. In the same place he had bruised C.K. 

The heart.

She came up to him so fast that his drink almost fell out of his hand. "I wanna leave." Caden stated plainly. From the other side of him, Chasidy looked at her. "I don't want to be here at all." Jason looked nervously at the man he had been talking to, gave a quick nod then pulled his girlfriend off to the side of the room. "I am very upset at you. I don't know why you're acting like this." 

"Acting like what?"

"Caden, stop it. You know what you're doing. Can you imagine how embarrassed I was walking in here with a woman that wasn't you? People looked at me as if I had an axe sticking out my head."

"Well, I can really put an axe in your head so they can look at you for that reason, if you want."

"Caden!" his voice was a harsh whisper. "I'm serious. From the apartment to the car to hear and now."

"I have done absolutely nothing wrong. You're the one that has changed –" she made her voice go deep to imitate him "— from the apartment to the car to here and now. In the apartment you were such a sweet heart. In the car you were a total dick and now you look like an abusive boyfriend—you can let go of my arm now." He dropped her arm and looked around to make sure no one had been looking. 

"Look, Baby Cay... I know I was mean in the car but Chasidy could be really important for my career—" Caden sighed. "This has absolutely nothing to do with her or your career. This is us. How YOU were acting in the car and how I was acting in the car is not what THIS is about. I want to go home. I want to talk to you about us. I want us to talk because right now we are having a communication problem." Caden reached up and touched the stubble on his cheek. 

"I hate it when we get like this and argue." 

Jason looked at her for a long while before sighing and taking her wrist from his face. "We'll go home in an hour. Is that alright? I'm getting to know these people. Besides, didn't you grow up with half of them?"

Caden nodded slowly. She was hiding her disappointment. An hour? That was to long and she couldn't take another minute in the same house as Jon. If she stayed she already knew more than one run in with him was guaranteed. Caden looked around the room. She needed to find Collin. If she begged hard then she knew he would give in and give her a ride home. She just had to find him. Her eyes scanned over he throng of people and she began to cut in and out of people looking for him. 

Some people stopped her to say their 'hellos' and 'how are you's?" but she kept going, ignoring them. 

She wanted to go home and she wanted to go now. 



A Gray Area Ch. 06



"You're drunk," Caden said again for the second time .She looked at Jon with something close to disgust and disbelief. He sat on the bed in front of her, his eyes unfocused and his breath reeking of alcohol. He shook his head, denying her statement that she had said, in actuality, a minute before. 

"I'm not," he said, his words slurred. "I had like one shot and a beer. That's it."

"Is that it or is that all you remember?" When he opened his mouth to speak she cut him off quickly with an "exactly."

She curled back under the covers and delivered a swift kick to Jon's arm, signifying that he should move so she could stretch her legs. "I don't even know why I let you come up here," C.K. reasoned to herself. "I don't know what you're doing," she glanced at the red numbers on her alarm clock. "It's only eleven at night. Aren't the parties just starting?" She felt the weight on the bed were Jon had been shift to the back of her, and his warmth seeped through the blanket to spread through her body. "You are my party, kitten." Caden felt Jon's hand slide under the blanket to her stomach then down, Dow—

"Stop," she said firmly. She didn't turn to face him. He didn't have to see her face to know she was serious. "Not tonight, Jon. Not tonight, and not tomorrow night and not ever again. This has to stop,"

"Why?" he brought his head up from the pillow behind her.

"Because I'm sick of this." She sat up and turned to him. Her gray eyes glowed silver in the moonlight. Her short hair was askew in every direction but he couldn't help but think of how cute it was. She pushed him away from her. 

"Yesterday I went up to you while you were with your 'people' and tried to have a conversation with you, and you pushed me aside like I was a bee or something. And what now? Now you want to come in my room hoping to get some? Who the hell do you think I am?" 

Jon shushed her. She was being loud and would wake her mom if she kept with her tone. Waking Candice Kristoff Winter would be a disaster. The woman was out of her mind with grief from the death of her husband. To her, Jon was an angel sent by God. He was the perfect gentleman in every aspect of the word. To find him upstairs with her daughter would only make his God-sent persona come crumbling down.

"I didn't push you aside like a bee. I was busy, kitten. You know that," he nuzzled his face into her hip. "I would never ignore you." Caden pushed his head off of her. She let out a small sound of disgust before sliding out of bed and opening her balcony doors. "I'm sick of only getting your attention whenever your dick is hard or your equilibrium is off." She shrugged and looked down at the ground, doing her best to hide the tears that were pushing hard against the back of her eyes.

He wasn't going to do this to her. 

Not tonight.

She wouldn't let him see what he did to her.

"My dad died, Jon. He died and the first person I went to was you because I knew I could trust you, but look at you. I told you how I felt." She had to let it go. It was choking her and she looked up at him, the tears and sobs now flowing freely, like a river from an evil, emotional, childish place inside her. "I told you how I felt. How much I cared for you. How much I sympathized for you and your family and I wasn't lying when I said I loved you." Caden wiped a tear from her face then ran a hand through her hair. "But you still don't care. And that's why I'm ending this. Sorry to rain on your 'lets-play-with-Caden's-feelings' parade but it has to stop. In front of your friends, I'm nothing to you. I'm a random girl that you're looking to get lucky with. But behind closed doors and in dark rooms, I'm everything you ever wanted in a girl. Tell me how does that work?"

Jon had long since sat up in the bed. He didn't seem drunk anymore and for a little while Caden wondered if he ever was. His hazel eyes looked intent and focused as he stared at her. He looked at her with something close admiration. Something that reminded her of an emotion never returned to her from him.

Love. He looked at her with love. But instead of opening his mouth to say something he simply rose from the bed and walked to the balcony. "You can take the stairs down. You're drunk and I don't want a dead body below my window." Jon looked at her momentarily then grabbed the railing in front of him and launched himself off. She waited until she heard the soft thud before closing her doors and breaking out into tears. Her body slid down the glass as her shoulders racked up and down with silent tears from bottled in emotions. That had been the hardest thing she knew she would ever do. 

'Fuck childbirth,' she thought to herself. 'This is way more painful.'

__~*~__

Her phone was ringing. 

It had been ringing for a good hour and it seemed that all through her dream she had heard it ring. 

Caden flung a lazy hand on to the dresser, knocking off a few items before gripping the phone and flipping it open. "This better be worth it," she murmured into the receiver. She could feel the remnants of a good night sleep on her cheek every time her mouth moved. "Is that really how you answer a phone, Caden?" C.K.'s mothers reprimanding voice made the young girl sit up at attention in the bed. 

"Mom,"

"The one and only,"

Caden cleared the sleep from her voice before speaking again. "Hey, what time is it?" She wiped the saliva from her cheek. Silently she hoped Jason had seen it. Normally she was a beautiful sleeper but last night had been hell and Jason had come home with a stick up his ass. She hoped he had bent to give her a kiss and accidentally kissed morning breath infested saliva. 

"It's going to be twelve in a minute, baby. Why aren't you up?" Caden sighed. She wasn't sure if she had an answer to that question. 

Or at least an answer that would satisfy her mom.

"Rough night, Ma. What did you need?" She yawned drowning out half of the things her mom said after. "Did you hear me, Caden?" 

"No, sorry. I yawned." Her mother scoffed and C.K. imagined the older women rolling her eyes at her daughters' nonchalant attitude. "I said your sister got arrested again. Since your back, I figured you could be the one to talk some sense into her." 

Caden smiled. Deity had been arrested again. She wasn't in least bit surprised. Cadens younger half sister was the product of Caden's mother's last marriage, which ended after seventeen years with the death of Cadens step father. Caden had never known her real father so grew up calling her step dad her real dad. 

Although sisters, Caden and Deity were nothing alike. Unlike Caden, Deity skin was a lighter color, like overly milked coffee and unlike Caden's gray eyes her half sisters eyes were a deep dark brown. While Caden was the more mature and quieter sister, Deity was the mean and demanding one. But despite their differences they seemed to always get along fine.

"And what am I supposed to say to her?" Caden lay back on the bed with a heavy thump. She curled back under the covers, bringing the white comforter over her head to block out the suns rays. "Tell her that she is ruining her life. She is such a smart girl, Caden, you know that. Tell her that."

"Ma, you think she doesn't know that already? She knows she is smart and that's why she does what she does. To push her limits. See how smart she really is." 

"Caden, please. Just come and talk to her. She is lonely. She is under house arrest till next month so you can visit her everyday." Caden could already tell she was getting sucked into something she didn't want to be sucked into. She loved her sister but she wasn't going to waste her time going to the house making pointless self seeking conversation with someone that wasn't going to listen. "What about the boy she was seeing. Ray? Or Gay-" she laughed at herself. "-What was his name?" 

Her mother sighed. Caden hoped that the woman was getting the hint that she really didn't want to go over there. "Yes, Ray, and they broke up. He found another hot stuff to beat up on." It was not hard to hear the remorse pouring from her tone. Deity had dated Ray for a year and it had never crossed her once that the bruises Deity was constantly getting were from fights with her boyfriend, not fights at school. For weeks Candice had been torn up, feeling as though she didn't give her youngest daughter enough attention. The fact that this was Deity's second time getting arrested didn't make her feel any better.

That got her. Caden gave in with a sigh. "Alright, Ma. Gimme an hour to get myself together and get some breakfast and then I'll be over there, okay?" Candice almost squealed with delight. "If you want, baby, I'll cook and you can come and eat here." The thought of her mom cooking made Caden cringe and almost retch. The woman couldn't cook to save a life. Before Caden's step dad died, the family had a maid and she did most of the work but that changed once the funds stopped coming in.

"It's alright, Ma. I'll stop by the café by a croissant and some hot cocoa and be right over."

"Alright, Dear. Thank You."

"Sure. Bye."

She hung up, not waiting for a reply. "How do I get sucked into these things?" She yelled, to the empty condo. 

'Because you're gullible,' her mind answered. She threw back the comforter and slid out of bed stripping at the same time. Her head felt light and she could tell that later in the day she would have a headache. 

A bad one. 

Last night had been hell. She had gotten a ride from Collin, who she found out had everything to do with her run in with Jon that night. Once she got home, Jason didn't get home till three. Caden had been up but not in the slightest mood to argue. He had been drunk. Beyond drunk. Wasted. And he had fallen right into bed. 

He wasn't worth the argument. 

Stepping out the shower and finger combing her hair, She threw on a pair of tight ripped jeans and a tank top. She found her green flip-slops and slipped those on too. She didn't want it to look like she made distinct effort to get dressed just to go home. As she said, she stopped at the café and picked up breakfast then took a cab back across town to the Winter Mansion (which her and Deity had proudly named when they were kids.)

The house had always been big. Now that Caden was older and wiser it didn't seem as magical as it had before but it was still excessively large. Bigger than what most people needed for a home. The outside gate was rusted and dark with age. The mansion it self was ridiculous with twelve rooms not including the dining room, television room, and game room. 

'We really never needed this much space,' Caden thought to herself. The front door had been open she gladly let herself in. her mom was already standing in the foyer waiting, a large smile plastered to her beautifully aged face. "Caden," she walked to her and delivered a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Thank you so much." The short haired girl nodded slowly, faking a smile. She listened to the older women speak for a little while before excusing herself to find her sister. 

It wasn't that she hated her mom. 

She could never.

It was that her mom had changed.

She was no longer the wise, beautiful forty year old she had once been. Now she was cold and distant. The pain of loneliness radiated off of her in waves and Caden couldn't stand to be around her for long periods of time. The woman was depressed. To a degree, it hurt Caden that her returning to California hadn't been an anti depressant for her mother. 

Their talk was brief. Weather. Work. Jason. Photographs and computers. A one to two sentence chit chat about the more unimportant things in life.

So C.K. found herself upstairs. Heading towards a door that had a huge abstract painting attached to it. She smiled. Art ran through her family's blood. Even Deity. Caden couldn't help but wonder if her sister's art was a lot deeper than paintbrush strokes on a canvas. Something that everyone, even she, was missing.

She knocked once then opened, not waiting for an answer. Her sister sat on her elongated windowsill pillows piled around her. The mid day light streamed around her making the young girl look almost heavenly. Caden couldn't help but feel jealous. Deity was beautiful in every aspect of the word. 

"Hey," Deity said, not looking away from whatever it was that held her attraction outside. 

"Hey kid," she replied. "How ya holding up?" Carefully the short haired girl made her way to the pillow mess. She took a seat next to her sister then looked outside. "I'm surviving," Deity finally looked at her, a huge smile on her face. She seemed as if she didn't have a car in the world.

Once again Caden was jealous.

"This sucks though. As big as this house is, I sure as hell don't want to spend another month in it." 

Caden laughed. "What did you do?" She asked the question slowly, afraid to offend the younger girl. 

"Fucking nothing." She answered quickly. "Fucking O'Cyrus arrested me for no reason. He always fucking does that shit."

"Watch your mouth."

"Sorry, but seriously. He always catches me. Always! Never anyone else. It's always him. And he never gives me a break. I could be doing nothing but dancing with a guy at a party and he will come out of nowhere and pull me off the dance floor and ask me what I'm doing at an eighteen and older party. What kind of shi—stuff is that?"

"O'Cyrus arrested you? Again?" Caden held back a smile that threatened to come through. "O'Cyrus; Jon's cousin, right?"

"Yeah," Deity folded her arms and leaned against the wall behind her. She folded her legs under her, giving Caden enough room to fold her legs Indian style. "I don't know what his deal is, but he loves getting me in trouble."

"I don't think he likes getting you in trouble. I think he's looking out for you. He always, always bails you out of juvi, am I right?" 

"No, you're not right. He is a dick from another dimension."

"I think he's cute. He's a cute dick" Caden laughed at herself while her sister gave her an annoyed look.

'He is not cute,"

"Oh, stop. Look past the hard police exterior. He is built but not like WWE built and he even has a couple of those little gray hairs coming in. He definitely got all the looks in the family."

"He's getting old,"

Caden scoffed. "He is not. Stop it. He is only like twenty-seven. The gray hairs are from stress."

Deity shrugged. "Whatever." Caden looked at her firmly but didn't push the matter any more. She knew Shane O'Cyrus was only looking out for Deity. He cared about her more than she knew, probably more than she would ever know. She had talked to him about Deity on more than one occasion. Especially when she had been dating Ray. Shane had tried to intervene on that relationship but failed. 'He treats her like trash and she lets him,' he had said. 'She can do better. She's beautiful there's no reason why she's with an asshole like that.' Caden had simply replied, 'Yeah, she is beautiful but girl's like her, girls that know they've got what men want, don't normally get the guys that are gonna give them what they need. Not a lot of guys are willing to work that hard.'

'I am,' he had said.

The memory sent chills down Caden's spine and she smiled. He had been so serious about her, and although Shane did what was best for her, Deity was still getting the wrong message.

"What's up with you and Columbian Ken doll?" Deity asked. She let her head lull back against the wall and she briefly closed her eyes. 

Caden smiled. "Columbian Ken doll, that's a new one."

"Everyone else calls him Captain America. Despite the fact that he is Columbian. I just wanted to be original." Deity shrugged.

"Columbian Ken—Jason...is Jason."

"So he's a dick?"

"What is up with you and that word? And no, he isn't a dick. He's just....difficult."

"Hmm, no. I really think that dick fits him perfectly. I'm difficult."

"What makes him such a dick?"

Deity seemed to almost jump at this opportunity. She rearranged her position so she was sitting extra close to her sister. "Well, let's start out when he came over to meet Ma. Every twenty seconds I heard 'Cay baby, don't do that,' or 'Cay baby, don't say that.'" Caden laughed at her sister's impression of her boyfriend. "Oh, and it doesn't even end there. At Dinner! He kept telling you 'Caden don't fold your napkin like that,' and 'Cay baby use a fork.' What the fuck?" Deity was yelling and laughing now and Caden shushed her. 

"Just admit it! They guy is just about the biggest jerk in the world. He is like a dictator to you."

"No he isn't. He really is sweet. I swear."

"I heard you let him pick up Malibu Barbie and take her with you guys to Beatrice's place."

Solemnly Caden nodded. When she looked back on it, she felt like an idiot. She had let her boyfriend pick up another girl, a prettier girl none the less, and take her to a party with them.

"Have you seen Jon since you been back?" 

Caden felt a tinge of annoyance at the flutter in her stomach at hearing that name. She didn't want to answer but knew she had to. "Yeah, actually had two run-in disasters with him yesterday."

Deity lifted her head from the back wall, looking shocked. "Two? How did those turn out?"

"Both ended in a headache. I don't want to be his friend, D. I don't wanna talk to him. I don't want see him." She was tempted to say that she didn't mind being his secret lover though.

"I just don't get why you hate him so much." Deity said, with a shrug. "If you heard the things he says about you. You would feel differently."

"Doubt it."

"People change, C.K. Jon is defiantly one of those changed people. If I were you I would give him a shot. Dump dick head Jason, who is a dick head by the way, and go with someone you know isn't just in it for the sex."

"Don't say that," Caden groaned. "Jason is not in this relationship for the sex. He loves me and I love him." As the words came out, She wasn't quite sure if she knew what she was doing or if she meant any of it. But she tucked those thoughts away. They would be analyzed later. 

Deity had said something but Caden had zoned out, coming back too late. "Look," Caden stood. "I'm gonna head out. I've been here for to long. The memories are starting to get to me. I'll probably come by tomorrow, alright?"

Deity nodded, she gave a quick hug then turned her attention back outside.

"Tell O'Cyrus I said hi," Caden said quickly before closing the door. She heard her sister curse from inside the room. 

"Bye, Ma," Caden yelled as she walked through the front door. She didn't want to go looking for Candice, knowing that if she was found, Caden wouldn't leave for a long time.

She yawned while walking down the street. She didn't bother calling a cab. It wasn't a long walk and she needed the exercise. 

And the time to think.

She had said she loved him. 

When was the last time he said that to her?

It had been a while. Of course he was nice to her. Always...Sometimes. But he rarely ever said those three small words to her. Things had changed so much from New York to California.

For the second time since being back, Caden was regretting her move.

__~*~__

She had been thinking when he came in. He had seen the half dazed look she gave the stove- and had been giving the stove for the last twenty minutes, so he walked right passed her without so much as a kiss or a 'hey baby.' She didn't know what she was thinking of, ironically. Thoughts were going passed her like a person disobeying the speed limit in her mind. 

Jason. Jon. Deity. Candice. Dinner. Life. All of them were connected in some ridiculous and pathetic way but only one thought weighed the heaviest on her. 

Jon. Go figure. 

She had dreamt about him the night before. Not really a dream, though, more a memory. A time back when she was completely enamored by him. When she couldn't keep her eyes off him and when she didn't care that she made a fool of herself in front of him. She had been to damn naïve to see that he didn't care about her. 




A Gray Area Ch. 06



Caden absent mindedly stirred the vegetables in the skillet. She put her plastic spoon down and leaned against the fridge behind her. 

'He's one of those changed people,' Deity had told her. The thought had stayed on her mind all day. She had flipped it, stirred it, and rearranged it in any way possible but it still came out the same. Jon was different. He had changed. From the things Collin had been telling her he didn't party that much anymore, he had stopped drinking; he had quite the drugs and the 7-beds-a-night fucking schedule. 

Jon wasn't really Jon anymore.

He was what she had wanted to him be. A decent person.

Ironically enough, now he chose to be a decent person. After she had moved on and gotten her life started.

Jason's cologne wafted in the air and she realized that he was in the kitchen with her, taking pieces of broccoli from the skillet and popping them into his mouth.

"Hungry much?" She asked. He didn't turn to look at her but his large shoulders shrugged. He popped a few more in his mouth before turning to look at her. He moved a few pieces of broccoli in his mouth, the steam from them coming through his parted lips.  

"Iss Ha," he said, then spit an un chewed piece into his hands. "It's hot," he repeated looking down at his hand.

"Thus the invention of the stove has served its purpose." Caden answered. She moved in front of him, grabbing with one hand some seasoning and with the other the plastic spoon. Jason popped the broccoli piece back into his mouth. She heard him brushing the remains of it on his designer jeans then his strong arms wrapped around her. He kissed her bare shoulder then her ear.

"Hello to you too," he whispered seductively. He pulled her hips back against him so her butt rubbed against the front of his jeans. "Aren't you gonna ask me how my day was?" 

Caden wanted to say no but instead asked him a question that had been weighing against her as much as her thoughts of Jon had. "What was wrong with you last night?" She turned around. She could feel the heat from the stove right on her butt. Jason sighed. He patted her hips one time before turning to walk away.

"Where are you going? I just asked you something, J."

"Baby Cay, not now," Jason begged. When he looked at her she could tell he was tired. He looked it. But there was something else that she couldn't catch.

"Yes now, J. Why were acting like I was just a stranger in the car?"

"I don't now what you mean by that." He leaned on the counter. 

Caden scoffed. "Tell me if this sounds familiar: 'You like my art, don't you baby?' 'It's okay.' Does that sound right to you?"

"I never said that"

"If you didn't say it then you said something along the lines of it. Why were you acting like that?"

Jason shrugged. She could tell by his eyes that he was fishing around in his head for something to say. He shrugged again.

Nothing.

Caden shook her head. "Don't do this to me."

Jason put his head in his hands and sighed. When he spoke he sounded annoyed. His hands dropped away. "Do what to you, Caden?"

She looked around the kitchen, her hands in her hair. She looked every where but at him because the tears were pressing to come out. Now it was her turn to find something to say. "This," she answered, sweeping her hands around her. "Whatever it is that you're not telling me. Don't. Keep your secrets because I've got mine. But just don't do this to me. Don't push me out."

"What are you implying, Caden?"

The gray eyed girl turned back to the stove and stirred the veggies before pressing the off button. She removed the skillet and poured the veggies into a nice plate then set the skillet in the sink, running water over it. 

"Nothing, J," She said over the sizzling sound the skillet made when it touched cold water. "I'm not implying anything." She turned to him. "Dinner's done." She walked towards him in an attempt to get passed him to go to her room but he didn't move from her way, and instead pulled her into his arms. 

The tears that had been pressing heavily against her eyes finally broke free from their chamber behind her eyes. The tears were heavy as they poured out to her and onto Jason's shirt. Her sobs were muffled by her face in his shirt. "What is wrong with you?" she heard him whisper. "Why are you crying? There is no reason to be crying." Despite what he was saying, she couldn't stop. "Look at me," he commanded softly. When she didn't he slipped his fingers under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Why are you doing this to yourself? You're stressing yourself out, baby Cay. So what if I was a little distant in the car. I'm sorry. But you know I love you." 

Those words caught her attention. 

She focused on him. "You swear you do?" She asked, her voice cracking

He gazed at her intently. There was that thing again. That thing in his eyes. That emotion. She couldn't figure out what emotion it was but it was there.

"You know I do, baby."



A Gray Area Ch. 07



She didn't know how she had gotten dragged into it but somehow Deity had broken down her defenses and convinced her to come to their mom's house for a dinner party. Caden didn't know whether to be excited or depressed. It was nothing like Beatrice's dinner parties. It was the dinner party that Caden, Collin, Deity, Shane, and a few others used to have when they were younger. They set up a table in the basement and hung out.

Just like the old days.

The only difference was Jason would be joining them. Caden's younger sister had pleaded with her not to bring him but she had to. He was her boyfriend, she had explained. There were some things she just couldn't leave him out of. Deity had scoffed and hung up the phone. Lucky for her the conversation had been over. 

And so there she was.

Standing in her mother's kitchen baking brownies.

"I can't believe this," she whispered to herself. "Caden, you are by far the dumbest girl in this hemisphere."

"Oh, I second that," Deity agreed. She walked over to the sink and began washing out a bowl. Caden smiled even though Deity's back was to her. The younger girls hair flowed freely over her shoulders and in wavy black curtain that was once again a perfect contrast to her light caramel skin. Deity looked over her shoulder at her sister. 

"What?" she asked, suddenly aware of herself. She looked down at her clothes then back up at Caden. "Something on me?"

Caden shook her, looking into the oven at the brownies.

"You just look like dad," Caden whispered. She heard the black haired girl put down the bowl. "I get that a lot. Mom likes it when I stay in my room. That way she doesn't have to be reminded of him."

Deity's father had been so handsome. So smart. The perfect person for her mom who, when they first met, had been unselfish and chipper. Caden tried her best to remember everything when it came to him. 

She tried to remember how he would always tuck her in while saying 'good night star light' then have her reply 'sleep tight moon bright.' 

She remembered the argument they both had on Caden's tenth birthday. She had been completely out of line. 

'Your not even my real dad!' she had screamed. 

'I've been trying to make up for that' he had replied calmly. He had always been the peacekeeper.

'Well your not doing a good job! I want my real daddy!' 

'We don't know where your real daddy is, Cay. But I'm trying to make up for it.'

Caden felt warm hands around her face and looked over to see her sister in front of her. "Don't think about it. You know he is where he needs to be." She said quietly. Caden nodded. Deity was right. A silence passed between them before Deity turned back to washing dishes. "Everyone should be getting here soon. The food should get here before they do though. Hopefully."

As if on cue the doorbell rang playing out a ridiculously drawn out melody. Caden turned to the door about to race to it but Deity was already in front of her pushing her sister back. 

Deity reached the door first, swinging it open.

Shane O'Cyrus stood on their doorstep with Collin behind him. 

Deity's face scrunched up in anger and she slammed the door in their face. "What the hell is he doing here?" she asked making sure he could hear her through the door. Candice Winter walked out from the guest room, an amber colored liquid filling a wine glass in her hand. "Who's here?"

"Ma, did you invite Shane over?" Caden asked. Inside she was hoping the women would say no but knew the truth.

"Of course. Officer O'Cyrus is a friend to this family." Candice's words were slurred letting the two girls know she was not on her first drink. Deity looked at Caden, mouthing the word 'no'. Caden shrugged then opened the door again. This time a third body stood outside, his dirty blonde hair poking out from behind Collin.

Jon.

Caden shut the door.

"Ma! Tell me you didn't invite him."

"Invite who, baby?'

"You know who!"

"Jon, Ma," Deity filled in. 

"Oh," Candice said. A small giggle coming from her lips. "Course I didn't. I just told Collin to bring a friend. We still have those girls coming over too. Your friends from high school, Caden."

"Ma, They are not coming in here," Caden whined.

Jason walked into the foyer from the pool room, disturbed by all the whining. "Who isn't coming in here?" He looked at all the women in the room. 

"Oh, stop it you two." 

Candice sauntered over to the front door and swung it open. "Boys. Come in." She side stepped so they could walk in. They filed in and Caden could feel her heart melting. She looked at Jason. Then at Jon. Warning bells were going off in her head. If Jason heard the name Jon there would be trouble. The shorthaired girl looked at her sister who was giving Shane a dirty look. She couldn't begin to imagine how Deity felt. 

"I cant believe you, Ma," Deity huffed, walking passed everyone, going back into the kitchen. She gave Collin a quick wave before disappearing. Collin looked at Caden and shrugged. She shrugged too but backed into the kitchen too just as the door bell was ringing. 

Reaching the sink Deity turned quickly on her heal to look at Caden who was right behind her. "This is bullshit," Deity whispered sharply. "I told mom to invite Collin, Ann Marie, Eliza and a few others. Not Shane!"

And Jon..." Caden trailed off. Both girls were distressed. For one of them, the night was not going to end well.

"Caden!" a high pitched squeal made both girls jump away from each other. Eliza Alvarado leaped over to the shorthaired girl and wrapped her arms around her. "Oh my God, girl, where have you been?" She cried again pulling Caden away. She looked at her up and down. "You have grown!" Eliza walked around her a few times before saying, "And look at that ass. Someone has been generous." If Caden was lighter she was sure that the heat that flushed across her face would have color. She wished she had thrown something better on then just a faded vintage shirt and ripped jeans. 

Eliza looked at Deity then. "And there is the trouble maker," she said flatly. She strolled over to Deity and pulled her into a tight hug. "Ay dios mío chica. Que paso?" She asked in Spanish. Deity shrugged. She replied back that nothing but life sucked being in the house all day. Caden smiled and moved to check the brownies. 

Eliza and Deity left the kitchen and even in the foyer she could here the Hispanic girl talking up a storm. Caden had to smile. Eliza and her had been friends in high school. Best friends. But in the middle of Eliza's sophomore year she was forced to leave for Puerto Rico. It had been a while. It was always good to see an old face. 

Caden peeked in the oven. She was so close to giving up on the brownies. As bad as she was craving chocolate, standing in front of an oven did not make it worth it. 

"Honey," Candice swaggered into the kitchen. Her glass was full again. "Baby, go down and hang out with your friends. I'll take care of this." C.K.'s mother pushed her daughter away from the oven, and for a second Caden half expected her step dad to walk in.

'Cay, go down and hang out with your friends," he would say. 'Your mother has had a little bit too much to drink so I'm gonna put her to bed.' By the end of his sentence Caden would figure out that he is drunk too and smile. "Did you here me, baby? Go" her mother shooed her away from the kitchen.

She followed the long hallway that slowly reclined downwards and turned into the basement. Through the door she could here the muffled hum of voices then laughter. Caden gripped the door and opened it slowly. Nine people surrounded a large table packed with pizza, breadsticks, cokes and beer. In the short time they had already dug into all of the food but had left some, a little, for her. She walked in completely and took a seat in between Jason and Deity.

As if she had never come in everyone continued talking. Shane spoke softly with Collin. Jon listened to Eliza and Deity argue over nonsense. Jason talked with Ann Marie, Eliza's sister. A blonde girl sat in between Jon and Collin which Deity recognized to be Emilia, an old, old friend of Caden's. Emilia smiled at her then cut into Jon and Collins conversation. 

"It's been a while, huh everyone?" Collin spoke up. He had gotten annoyed with Emilia cutting into their conversation and decided to make a group discussion. He took a swig of his beer and sat forward in his hair. The overhead light made his light eyes an eerie color. 

"We haven't done this in a while," he reiterated after swallowing. "Remember the good old days?" he asked looking at everyone. Caden smiled. They were all listening. Smiling. Nodding. Collin pointed to Caden. "Caden is older now. She has a successful photography career." He pointed to Shane. "Officer Shane O'Cyrus is now Detective Shane O'Cyrus." A few good jobs flew across the table. Deity watched as Jon patted his cousin on the back. Shane's eyes met briefly with hers before she turned away. "Jon is still trying to be a rock star." 

"I'm gonna get there," Jon said, a big smile on his face. Caden couldn't help but smile but she made it quick.

"Eliza and Ann Marie are back in America, Emilia is becoming a lawyer, and me...Well, I'm just rich," he ended his speech with a smug smile and everyone couldn't help but laugh. "What about Jason?" Jon asked. He looked at Caden then at her boyfriend. Caden hadn't felt the tension in the air until Jon spoke. Jason and Jon looked at each other for a second before Jon said, "What about you, Jason. What have you been up to?" Jon spoke to him as if they had known each other for ever but his casual tone wasn't getting passed Jason. "I have a modeling career." Caribbean Ken answered flatly. Deity smiled and wiped her mouth trying to suppress a giggle. Caden threw a bottle cap at her but the brown haired girl was smiling too. 

"Sounds like a decent life," Jon's smile was wide like Deity's.

Across the table Eliza was trying to get Caden's attention. 'A model?' she mouthed. When Caden nodded the Spanish girl scrunched up her nose and made a gross retching sound. Ironically no one looked at her. Caden could only shrug. 'You should be dating a rock star' Eliza smiled. She wiggled her eyebrows and then looked over at Jon. Caden caught the hint.

What was up with everyone?

All of California was trying to hook her up with Jon. She felt like the main character in some cheesy teenage drama film. 

As a new conversation began at the table Caden excused herself to return to the kitchen. It was stifling in that room. Candice had gone upstairs. The heavy smell of brownies lingered in the air with her mothers perfume and the scent of alcohol. 

Typical.

Caden leaned against the counter, folding her arms. Count on mom to follow up on something she said she would do.

"You okay?" a voice said from the kitchen doorway.

She knew it was Jon without having to turn around. The sound of his voice alone metled into her. She was becoming too used to the run ins she was having with him. The thought of becoming close to him again scared her. This had to stop.

Caden didn't reply. She looked at him then down at her feet. She focused her thoughts on other things. Like most kids, Caden was taught that if you ignore them, they would leave you alone. Jon didn't seem to get that concept. "You look sort of stressed out. Wanna talk about it?"

Caden scrunched her eyebrows and looked up at the dirty blonde haired man. "That is the stupidest thing anyone has ever asked me. If I did have a problem, why on God's green earth would I discuss it with you?" Jon shrugged. He had been expecting that reaction. When he looked back up at her his smile made her heart skip a beat. He had a rock star smile. The kind of smile she could get used to loo—

"Just leave me alone Jon, please. I talk to you yesterday and I told you that I didn't want to be friends or anything of the such with you. You're smart. Catch a hint." 

He leaned on the counter next to her. "Who was that girl Jason came to Beatrice's place with?" Caden opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. "And I never found out why you were crying yesterday. Didn't exactly get the chance to ask you but now I do. What happened?" 

The gray-eyed girl was in a state of shock. Why did he care if she was crying? That was none of this business. But it seemed like he did care. If he didn't why would he ask?

"Jason's co-worker," she answered before even being aware of it. "Some hot shot blonde Barbie. Her boobs are fake. Bet you could have seen that one a mile away." Caden continued. In her head she was screaming at herself. 'What are you doing? Conversing with the enemy is unacceptable!' "But you like your girls all plastic and perfect so I'm sure she caught your interest." Caden gave herself a little smirk. She had needed to back up everything she had just said so it didn't look as if it was a regular conversation. Caden risked a glance at him. He was looking at her intently. His eyes running down her hips then back up to her face. 

"Actually," he countered, licking his lips and smiling. "I like my girls au natural."

The look he was giving her made her heart stutter but she didn't show her emotions on her face. "Your such a fucking flirt, Jon. Get over yourself."

Jon gave a heartfelt chuckle. "I'm kidding," he reassured her and for some reason hearing those words made her heart hurt. She was hoping that he wasn't really kidding. 

"I saw some of your—"

"Why are you talking to me?" There it was. Bam. She had re-erected the Great Wall Of Caden to stop Jon's invasion. "We aren't supposed to be talking...please just go away." 

"I saw some of your photographs," he continued as if he hadn't even heard her. "Black and white? That's...cliché," 

Caden fully turned to him, her face portraying the things she was about to say to him. "Cliché? My photographs are cliché? And what, dear Jon, do you know about cliché?" she folded her arms, waiting for him to impart some all knowing Jon wisdom on her.

The dirty blonde man shrugged. "I know that when you were younger you hated black and white pictures because they reminded you of some teenager with a digital camera and good software program." He took a step towards her and tapped a finger under her chin once. "Don't tell me Ken doll in there has stifled your muse." Caden looked at him for a long time. "There is nothing wrong with my pictures. I'm just going through a black and white phase, it happens. And what do you know about muses and clichés? What are you doing right now?" She scoffed and gave a sarcastic smile. "Oh, yeah. Chasing the American dream. Trying' to be a rock star." 

"From what I recall it was more like your dream. Wasn't it you that said I looked good with my shirt off and a guitar in my arms? Or no, wait...was it with my shirt off and you in my arms?" He was laughing but Caden wasn't. She had said that. Both of those things.

He had no idea what he was doing. 

He was playing with her. 

"But on a more serious note," he said, shaking of a few more chuckles. "I saw them. And I liked them. Definitely you. You should try going out onto the bridge in town and taking pictures from there. You might see something you like." The smile he gave her was genuine. She even considered giving him one back but stopped herself. 

"Aren't you gonna ask me how the rock star life is coming along?" he asked.

"Didn't you figure that I would ask if I cared?" she countered. 

"If we were friends you would ask but were not so I had to kinda impose the question." Caden opened to the stove and took out the brownies. "Impose away," she muttered. 

"Oh Jon, how is the rock star life treating you?" Jons voice was high pitched as he imitated Caden. He answered himself in his normal pitch saying, "Well Caden, the rock star life is a very difficult one that requires a lot of concentration and crafty skill with words." He went back to being Caden. "Oh Wow, Jon. You should write me a song. In fact, why don't you make me a mix tape and maybe play it outside my condo one day?"

Caden had been holding it in but she couldn't help but laugh. "And that, my friend, is against the law," Jon laughed now too. It had been a while since they shared a moment like that together. Caden went silent as she reveled in it. She gazed it him for a long while, holding his hazel eyes then turning back to counter, preparing to take the brownies out of the pan.

"Things are really different between us aren't they?" Jon asked. Caden swallowed not wanting to tell him what he already knew. Even if her and Jon became close like they were years ago it would always be awkward. Jon had confessed his feelings for her. He had told her how he felt and that put a rift in the relationship. 

"You know the answer to that," Caden murmured. 

"No. No, I don't. Do you love him?" She dropped the brownie she had been holding. She didn't dare look at him. "Do you?"

"That's not your business."

"You don't, do you? You don't even know what your doing."

"Don't psychoanalyze me, Jon. You don't know me." With those words Jon advanced on her crowding her up to the sink. She stood on the toes between Jon and the sink and stared up at him as he looked past her eyes and into her soul. 

"Kitten," his voice was a rough whisper that breathed against her face. "I know you better than anyone in this world. You know that. I know that. I think even Jason knows that. Stop lying to yourself about everything." She pushed him away from her. "I don't lie to myself. I do love him. He loves me. I'm happy like that."

A lie.

Jon smiled. He nodded, backing away. "Of course you are." 

He turned to walk out of kitchen but not before hearing. "I'm sorry."

Caden glanced at the wall Jon had disappeared behind. "For what?" she asked quietly.

When no answer came Caden assumed he had walked back downstairs. "For everything." A voice finally said. Heavy footsteps echoed through the kitchen and foyer before disappearing downstairs. 

"Don't apologize," Caden said to no one. "You did nothing wrong."

He could have kissed her. 

He was going to kiss her. 

He had had everything planned out in his head but she had foiled his plot by pushing him away. Not just physically but emotionally. Every time he threw his emotions at her, he hit a wall that she proudly erected. The Great Wall of Caden. The one thing stopping him from her besides Jason. 

He had seen the look in her eyes. 

'I love him. He loves me.' But her gray eyes had said differently. Her eyes had clearly yelled to him 'I don't know what to do anymore. I'm confused.' She was playing her relationship with Jason by ear and it wasn't working. She was going through motions it seemed. Why hadn't she known about the bridge and the lake? The old Caden would have gone exploring to see what was new in her old town but then again this was the new Caden. He wasn't too sure if he liked her. The new Caden. She was quiet and unsure of herself. She pretended too much. She was fake but only when it came to herself. She needed help. Jon's help.

For a second he glad he didn't kiss her. But only for a second. His kiss would have done nothing but make her more confused. That wouldn't help his cause at all.

And she had smiled at him. Laughed at him. With him. He was getting somewhere. He was getting straight to the center. The night before she barely wanted to see his face and now she was laughing with him. 'This could end well,' he told himself.

'You're such a fucking flirt Jon.' Yeah. He knew. But only when it came to her. Only when it involved Caden.

Jon had made his way back down into the basement that was in an uproar of laughter. No one glanced at him as he took hi same seat once again but when he looked across the table Jason was glaring at him hard. "Where's Caden?" he asked. Jon could barely hear him over the laughter and Emilia saying something in Spanish. Jon shrugged and mouthed the words 'I don't know.' Jasons lips tightened into a line. He sat back in his chair folding his arms. His muscles bulged slightly and Jon couldn't help but wonder if it the man was trying to intimidate him.




A Gray Area Ch. 07



It wasn't working. Jon shrugged and joined the conversation with everyone else. Out the corner of his eye he could see that Jason continued his hard look for a little while longer before removing himself from the table and the basement all together.



A Gray Area Ch. 08



His coffee was getting cold. Jon stared down at it as if it had wounded him. Through the brownish liquid he could see his reflection, his eyes distant and narrow. The coffee would do him some good seeing as he hadn't slept for a good two nights. Caden was on his mind. Everywhere he looked he would see her. Everything he did reminded him of her. Even the coffee gave some stark reminiscence of her. He was dieing to talk to her again. He liked that attitude she gave. That harsh bite that was in every word she said. As long as he didn't remind himself that she was being hellcat because she hated him he would be all right. 

There had been progress last night. A break through in the experiment. She had spoken to him. Without yelling. She had laughed with him even though it had only been for a second. God, her smile was gorgeous. Her teeth were small. If he didn't know her he would think she had made it all the way to nineteen without losing her baby teeth. They were perfect. Tiny, white and straight, which went perfectly with her lips. And she wasn't just a pretty face. She was a goddess with a mind. The girl was clever. 

She was perfect. The words threatened to spill over his lips and into his coffee but he kept them inside. His cousin was looking at him as if he were waiting on something. Shane had said something to him and was obviously expecting an answer but Jon was not at the table. He wasn't even in his body. He was floating on some cloud far away. 

'God, if this is her talking to me again. I cant imagine what will happen if we get any closer.' The thought excited him. He had an opening now to fix everything that had gone wrong. He could take back every little thing he had done to her when they were younger. He couldn't honestly say that he wanted things to go back to the way they were. He didn't.

He had been an ass back then. He had neglected something beautiful and let it get away from him. Not just Caden but his family. They had all broken apart. Alcohol seemed to have nurturing affect on him in those times. That and sneaking into Caden's room at three in the morning. Those had been the days when he woke up in the morning and wanted to kick himself. 

'I really do care about you, Jon. I'm serious. I'm here for you,' she would always say. In a drunken stupor those words meant nothing to him but now when he looked back they sent a shiver down his spine. He wanted to hear those words from her now in stead of her normal conversation starter 'Don't talk to me.' 

'She probably says my words to Jason at night,' the idea made his heart sink. She was with Jason. Even if her and Jon became close friends again that would be the relationship would halt. She was with Jason and that deemed her untouchable.

In front of him Shane removed himself from the table, most likely sick of speaking to a brick wall. Jon snapped out of it and caught his cousin as he walked to the sink washing out his coffee cup. 

"New York, huh?" Jon began. He had no idea where he pulled the information from but somehow he knew that Shane was preparing to take a trip to New York next month. Shane didn't turn to look at him. "So you were listening?" he asked. "I'm surprised. I was getting sort of worried. I thought you had fallen into a vegetative state." His cousin set the washed cup down on the counter and returned to his spot at the table. 

"Yup," admitted finally. "Department is sending me to New York. They said they had some sort of job for me and if I do good—"

"You get your tummy rubbed and a treat?" Jon offered. Shane smiled. "Close but no. I get a job up at NYPD. Big news, huh?"

Jon shrugged. He couldn't deny that he was proud. For the longest things hadn't been looking to good for any one in the family but Shane had been the only person to break through the mold. He had gotten a job with the local police department, was sky rocketed up to Detective in no time and now he had been asked for, by name, to join NYPD. That was big.

"What can I say? I'm proud of you. Now all you got to do is just get married have 5 sets of twins and you'll be in the record books," he made sure not add any sarcasm in his voice. The compliment was genuine. Shane winced. "Five sets? That's pushing it. They don't make condoms for nothing."

"Condoms are for balloon animals. But you're right. You can barely handle one Deity. Just imagine the nightmare it would be if there ten of them running around," Jon let the words linger in his mouth. His cousin looked at him hard. "Oh, c'mon Shane. Like no one could see you drilling holes in her face all night last night. I'm surprise she didn't kick you. She noticed it too." The blond man shrugged. "If you like her so much, then go get her. You see how the Winter-Kristoff family is. They are stubborn. You have to make the first move." Jon couldn't believe he was insisting on his cousin making a move on Deity Winter. That was suicide. The girl was a firecracker. She was far worse than Caden. She was Caden on her period. Times a million. All day. All Month. All Year.

Good luck, Shane, he was dieing to add in.

"This advice is coming from the guy that is going after a girl with a barb wire fence around her. Tell me, how do you do it?"

Jon shrugged. "Once you get passed the barb wire the electricity and dogs don't hurt much." They shared a laugh before Shane sobered up and asked, "Is it really obvious. About Deity?" Jon nodded and shrugged, as if it were no big deal. "She's a pretty girl, Shane. But you know she's got issues. Look at how many times you've arrested her. Drug charges? Seriously, Shane." He gave Shane a pleading look before continuing. "Her dad just died last year. She was dating an asshole that was beating the shit out of her right under our noses and then to top it all off she doesn't trust you. She has done almost every drug imaginable and then some. God knows how many times she has run away and where she goes." Shane put his head in his hands and messed up his already messy brown hair. "Despite all the negatives of the situation... She needs a guy like you. Someone that can balance her. And love her."

"That's about that lamest thing that has ever come out of your mouth, Jon." Shane admitted. "But it helps."

"I know it does," Jon soaked in the gratitude proudly. He leaned back in his chair, yawning. It was dark outside. He had slept the whole day through. Storm clouds were gathering beyond the window. "And what about Caden?" Shane questioned. "From what I hear you're not exactly getting to lucky with her."

Shane's cousin raised an eyebrow. "Oh, you heard that? From who?" 

"Don't worry about it. I've got my sources. Tell me what's up with you two?"

Jon sighed, preparing himself to tell the tale of his past mistakes. "I want her back," He stated softly. "I had heard she was coming back and I thought I would be okay. I was good and over her then I see her at Collin's and I kinda lose it. I had trained myself to not feel anything for her and seeing her just kicked everything out the window. And then I hear she is dating some hot shit model and what can I do but wait around for something bad to happen between them before I swoop in to save the day. He doesn't care about her, Shane," Jon had convinced himself of that. He had seen it in the man's eyes when they were all leaving Candice's house. She had raised herself to her toes to give him a quick kiss and he turned her away. In front of everyone he had denied her a simple form of affection and the hurt had played visibly in Caden's gray eyes for everyone to see. 

Jon would have kissed her. He would have kissed with tongue and a little more. 

"I don't know what it is that she sees in him but she can do better. So much fucking better. Deity even told me that he is an asshole to her and she takes it. He brought another fucking girl to Beatrice's party. Remember that thing she had a few days ago? Yeah, Jason walked in with some blonde girl on his arm. Supposedly, Jason was embarrassed because he was supposed to have Caden with him and when she wasn't people began to talk but I saw him. He didn't even care. Caden came in crying and Jason look like he just got a free fuck from Carman Elektra." Jon knew that right about now he was showing his heart in his eyes but he needed Shane to understand. "I remember you used to talk about her a lot. Back before she moved."

Jon nodded. "Yeah," he smiled at the memories. "I used to sneak into her room at around three every night. I would pretend to be wasted just so I could get the truth out of her. She figured I wouldn't remember anything so she could tell me everything."

"And that worked?" 

"Most of the time...that would be the only time she would let me kiss her, too. When I was 'drunk.' She didn't want me to remember that either." Jon dove deep into all those memories. He could still feel her lips on his; His tongue begging for entrance into her mouth and how she would pull away with a shy laugh. He pushed back in his chair and groaned out loud. "I pretty much fucked it up with her after she told me how she really felt and I blew her off. Embarrassed her in front of all my friends. She left on a plane to New York the next day." Shane looked at his cousin, shocked. "The hell did you do to make her leave that bad?"

Jon sighed. He didn't want to talk about. Didn't want to repeat the words to him and he gave his cousin a look that let him know that. "All right," Shane agreed. "You don't have to tell me now but you do have to tell me some day." Jon nodded. He would. One day.

"So what now? Your apologetically in love with her?"

Jon shook his head. "When I found out she had left for New York I called her cell. It was off so I left a message,"

Shane waited. Jon didn't elaborate. "What did the message say?" He asked after a while. "It said to come back. Sorry I hurt you. I'll be better. We wont have to hide our relationship. Stuff along those lines. She never called back."

A silence settled between the two men. It was obvious that Jon was hurt. He had poured his heart into that message and she didn't call him back. But it was Karma. And Karma was a bitch. He couldn't honestly say that he deserved anything that she threw at him.

Shane had been staring at the table when the house phone rang. His head jerked up as if alarmed at the unfamiliar sound. The ring permeated the air again. Shane leaned in his chair to grab the phone off the receiver that was attached to the wall. 

"Hello?"

Silence. He glanced at Jon. "Yeah, He's here." Another silence. "Sir, I'm not sure if that's such a great idea. H—. Yes, sir." Shane extended the phone to Jon. "It's you dad."

Shade hadn't needed to say a word. Jon knew who it was. His cousin's voice had changed from a clipped casual tone to a sharp military answer. His father expected respect and anyone that knew him knew how to talk to him. Jon took the phone but didn't say anything

"Jon? I know ya fucking there. Say somethin', dipshit. Ya got a mouth, use it."

"Yes, dad," Jon answered, already exasperated. 

"Where the fuck you been, boy? I been callin' ya since last night. You out partyin' again?"

Across the table Shane excused himself from the kitchen. "No, dad. I just went over to see an old friend. Is there a reason why you're calling?" Jon asked. He was trying to be as polite as possible but his dad was jumping on his last nerve and it was wearing thin. "Ya, I talked to ya mom last night. She says you ain't called her in weeks. The hell is wrong with ya? Don't ya know ya grand pappy is sick? Ya got no respect, boy?" 

This was too much. "How dare you call my house and bitch me out about respect. Is there a better reason why you called me or was Cindy to busy tonight so you had to find a different way to get off?" With the last word that Jon ground out the nerve his father had been playing with snapped. "Don't you think I know granddad is sick? I talked to him more than you do. Don't call and patronize me when you're the one that needs to be burned at the stake."

From the doorway Shane had made his way back into Jons line of vision and he could clearly see the word 'wow' mouthed from his lips. 

There was silence on the other line. Had he hung up? He hoped he hung up. "Ya got no respect, boy. Ya hear me? Ya no child of mine," Jon's fathers began soft and slowly raised on octave with each word. "How dare I?" He echoed. "How dare I? How dare you, Jon. I worked hard for our family. I gave you and ya mom and even ya goddamn cousin and his mom everything they needed. How do ya'll pay me back? All-a-ya treat me like shit. Like I did something to hurt all-a-ya."

Jon was in shock. Had he seriously just said that? All the bad things he had done to them and he denied every single bit of it. 'I'm innocent,' he was telling him in secret Dad code. 

"I can't believe you just said that. You abandoned us. You left us all for dead. I had nothing. Mom had nothing just because you couldn't keep your cock in your pants. We had to suffer, Dad. Mom suffered." His voice cracked with tears. 

He wasn't a crying type. Had never been until the night when he was forced to stand by his mothers bed. He was forced to hold her hand while she screamed in agony, writhing, thrashing on the bed. In labor. The baby died on the way out of her womb. They couldn't revive it. Stress the doctor had said. The child had had an irregular heartbeat in the beginning. Soon he had so many other irregularities. All from stress. Too much emotion. It was odd that Jon didn't blame her. If he knew that his spouse was going out behind his back and sleeping with younger women he would be stressed too.

"Don't blame me because ya mom doesn't know how to carry a child." Those words burned. Jon almost felt the singe on his ear upon entering them. "Don't call this house ever again, dad. I don't want to hear you say something like that to me."

"Jon, I swear to God. Don't you hang up this phone—"

"Good night, dad. Go check your blood pressure."

"Jon, you little bastard. I sw—" Jon pressed the talk button on the phone. He turned his head to look at his cousin who had his hands buried in a patch of brown hair. "I should have hung up the phone as soon I heard his voice, Jon." Shane apologized. He was right though. He should have. But he didn't. "Its alright, man. He just needs to get off his high horse and see what its like on the ground. Down here on earth people get blamed for stuff. He isn't used to that yet." He was proud of himself when a smile broke on his cousin's face. 

The phone rang again. 

Shane reached for it but Jon grabbed it first. "Dad, stop calling. I don't wanna sp—"

"Jon?" A panic voice squealed on the other end of the line. Jon's eyebrows scrunched and Shane sat up straight from the wall he had gone to lean on. "Who is it?" Shane demanded. 

"Jon?" The voice asked again. 

Was that... "Deity?" Shane snatched the phone from Jon's hands. "Deity?" He practically yelled into the phone. On the other end the young girl began to sob hysterically. Shane pressed a button on the phone so Jon could hear her sobs. "Deity, what's wrong?" The girl continued to cry. "Deity, baby, take a deep breath." Shane counseled. Jon was shocked he had said the word 'baby' to her. He would hear about that later. The sobbing girl took a deep breath. "I tried to call Jon's place but no one answered. I didn't want to call because I knew you wouldn't really want to help—"

"Help with what, Deity? What's going on?"

"Caden's not answering her phone. She needs to be there wh—"

"Be where, Deity? Tell me what the hell is going on." Shane was in as much a panic as Deity was.

"My mom. She was in the kitchen and she just passed out," she broke into uncontrollable sobs again. "I couldn't wake her up. I tried everything but she wouldn't. She was barely breathing so I called the ambulance. They took her but I couldn't go because the device on my ankle would go red. I can't leave the house, Shane. I need to be with her." The room was silent save for Deity's sobs. You didn't have to look into Shane's eyes to know what he felt.

Guilt.

He shouldn't have arrested her. He should have let her off like he did everyone else.

"Deity? Deity, stop crying, alright? And listen to me. You listening? Stay there. I'm gonna be there to pick you up in about five minutes. In those five minutes try calling your sister. Jon is on his way to get her now." He waved a hand at Jon. 'Go find Caden' he mouthed. Jon nodded and was out the door. "I'll take care of the judge and everything else just don't go anywhere till I get you alright?"

"Yes." She whispered. His heart broke at the sound of her voice. He heard a click and knew that she had hung up. He set down the phone softly then picked up his keys and his jacket while heading out the door

~*~

Caden sat on her couch and looked at the text message for the third time. 'Will be home late,' it said. 'Don't wait up. Don't make dinner. Late photo shoot. No biggie.'

'Maybe not for you,' she said to herself. This was sad. Talking to herself was becoming some sort of habit she had developed. She actually carried on decent intellectual conversations with her mind. They entertained her. What kind of photo shoot goes passed ten? Caden ignored the sinking feeling in her gut. 

None.

At least not one for an unsuccessful amateur model. She hadn't even seen his portfolio. Her gut knotted up again. She wasn't supposed to think like that yet she couldn't help it. 

'But you know I love you.' His words drifted in her head. That was great for him but what about her. She didn't know how she felt. She had been dieing to hear those words. Just to know that it was true. But there had been something in his eyes. An emotion that hadn't sat well with her since. She guessed she loved him. She was pretty sure she did but pretty sure never got anybody a successful marriage. Let alone relationship.

Her phone was ringing again. It had been ringing for the last hour. She glanced at it, making the decision to ignore it again. 

Unconsciously she settled deeper into her couch. She had done nothing all day. In the morning her and Jason had stayed in bed an extra 30 minutes only to have her sister interrupt them with nonsense. Jason went to work. Caden ventured to the park to take some pictures and returned home shortly after. She had taken only one picture. She wasn't feeling it anymore. Her agent, Molly, had called earlier claiming that Caden was due for an art show in two days. Jason had taken the message. Caden hadn't heard a thing about it. For the remainder of the day, the gray-eyed girl scrambled together some pieces and faxed them to Molly.

'Poor, poor, planning on your part Cady girl.' Molly had lectured. 'These pieces will suffice but next time ask that boyfriend of yours to write things down.'

Oh, she would. This was her career he was playing with. C.K.'s head jerked up at the sound of a fist pounding on the door. "Coming," she called out, launching herself off the couch. The excessive pounding continued while she unlocked the locks. "Christ, man. I'm right here hold on," She threw the door open ready to verbally knockout her doors assailant but shut her mouth instantly.

It was Jon in all his blonde disheveled beauty

What a surprise. He was like a baby at her doorstep—the last thing she expected to see upon opening the door. 

His eyes were wide as if his pupils needed to catch their breath like his lungs were. "Did you run here?" she asked, quietly concerned. C.K. moved aside about to let him in before she caught herself. This was Jon, not Jason, not Collin, not even the electrician. Jon. She had to keep a clear head despite how fast her heart was beating. 

"What the hell are you doing here? She closed the door and whispered conspiratorially. "If Jason catches you here then you're fucked. G—"




A Gray Area Ch. 08



"I don't give a shit if your boyfriend knows I'm here. And I know he isn't because your car is gone. We have bigger problems thought, Caden. Come with me?" he grabbed her wrist, attempting to drag her with him but she pulled back her arm quickly. "If this is your ploy for us to become secret lovers or something, it ends here."

"Kitten, your mom is in the hospital." The words were stated plainly and she was sure the whole complex could hear. A silence wafted between them but the words lingered in Caden's head. She felt dizzy all of a sudden. Sick to her stomach.

"What?" she whispered. 

"Your mom is in the hospital." He spoke the words slower the second time. Clearer. 

"Why? What happened?"

"I'm not sure. Deity has been calling you off the hook. She is on the way there with Shane. I came to pick you up." His hazel eyes held a concern for her that she hadn't seen in so long. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked ready to grab her if her legs gave out. He gently reached for her elbow nudging her along. Her gray eyes held nothing but shock in them. He knew what she was thinking. 'I just saw her last night. She was fine—drunk, but fine.' She shut the door behind her, not even bothering to lock it or grab a jacket and followed him down the stairs to his car.

He got in beside her and risked a glance. She was pressing buttons on her expensive phone then put it to her ear. A few seconds later she cursed, took the phone from her ear, pressed another button then did the same thing all over. 

"Deity is probably already at the hospital." Jon stated, hoping that was whom she was really calling. They had pulled out of the parking lot and he was trying his best not to look at her. He was now starting to realize how small his car was. She was right there. He could reach over and move the strand of hair that played on her forehead. But he didn't. 

"I'm not calling my sister," she informed. "I'm trying to call Jason. He is working late and I think this classifies as an emergency. He can get off work now."

Jon turned a corner then glanced at her. "Working late, huh?" From his peripherals he could see she was looking at him. Her eyes examining him. She got the hint that he was dropping. "Yeah, working late." She dialed a few more buttons. This time Jon could here that someone actually did pick up. 

He heard a few rushed words like "Stop" and "baby."

Caden even got a few in by saying. "Jason, My mom is in the hospital." Jason said a few and by the look on her face upon taking the phone from her ear, it was obvious he had hung up on her. She looked at the phone as if it had punched her in the face. Hard. Jon didn't want to ask but he had to. 

"What did he say?" He cringed at how loud he sounded in the small confines of the car. 

"Not...Nothing. He's busy."

When he stopped at a stoplight, he turned to look at her just because he had too. Her voice sounded so fragile. "Its funny," she whispered, settling deeper into her seat. "How people can always say something. They can say it, and say it, and say it, but when push comes to shove.... they never follow up." When she looked at him, he thought his heart would explode. The hurt was like a neon sign in her eyes. "I love you has so many meanings and connotations. It means 'I care about you, I need you, I want you, I'll be here for you, your everything to me.' But some people just don't get it. Some people just say it because they know that's what's gonna get them what they want. And people like me...we're just to dumb we can't discern the difference between the lovers and the liars."

Green light. Jon stepped on the gas a bit to hard making the car jerk. 'Way to ruin the moment, dumb ass' he criticized himself. "I don't think it's that you're dumb and you can't tell the difference. I think it's that people like you...People like us—we just put too much faith in those three words. Anyone that says that to us we automatically put our trust in them. We need to learn to discern the difference between the lovers, who really mean all those things when they say I love you, and the liars, that say it because they know we will hop into bed with them or buy them whatever they want."

They pulled up to the hospital, finding a parking spot easily and walked in. Down by the E.R., Collin, Shane and Deity waited. Deity's normally pale face was red with tears. Caden went straight to her. "Shh, baby. It's all right. She'll be fine." 

"No, she won't. What if they can't find anything wrong with her? What if we she has something incurable and they cant do anything for her?" Caden wrapped her arms tightly around her sister, rubbing her back. "No, sweetie, don't say that. Its nothing," She pulled her sister away to look directly into her eyes. "Its nothing. Ma probably just had too much to drink. You know her." Deity was sobbing but she nodded. C.K. looked at Shane and he took over, wrapping his arms around the young girl. As she walked away, she heard his cajoling whispers to her. 

"Has anyone said anything yet?" she approached Collin who looked shaken. She rubbed a comforting hand up and down his forearm. He shook his head. "She hasn't been in there that long so no one knows." Caden knew how he felt. Candice Winter was like a mother to him. When they were younger, he had run to Caden's mom whenever something went wrong at his home. He would be as crushed as the rest of them if something were to happen.

She glanced at Jon who sat down, his mouth resting on his fist. He was deep in thought. His hazel eyes looked glazed over and gone. She had loved that conversation she had with him. When he used to sneak into her room they would talk about those things. Love and life and art and souls. Things that, now that they were older, no longer had time to think about. He looked up at her and she realized she had been staring but he stared right back.

Then he smiled. Not a full tooth smile. A half mouthed smile. An 'everything is going to be all right' smile. She smiled right back. At that moment she felt all her barriers crash down around her. Everything that she had erected in Jon's way had failed. He had gotten right back to where he was supposed to be with her. Close. The thought scared her beyond belief and yet eased her stomach that had been churning dangerously. She wanted to see where they would go. She wanted to walk the dangerous line with him just to see how she would turn out in the end. 

A heavy sob brought her out of her reverie. She was in a hospital. Hell. She hated hospitals. Hospitals were where people died. Where people's fathers were taken in for observation and carried out for funeral preparations. She didn't want Ma to die. She wouldn't be able to handle it. This was all too familiar and she felt her windpipe tightening at the similarities. 

She tapped a passing nurse on the shoulder. "Excuse me, miss. Where is the bathroom?" The nurse pointed to the end of the hallway where a large, blue ladies sign was painted on the wall. Caden made her way there and was thankful no one else was inside. It smelled but she ignored it as she went into a stall. She had barely locked the door when the tears began to fall freely and she sobbed uncontrollably.

"Not again," she whispered. "Please, not again," She didn't care if someone came in. Even if Deity did. She needed these tears to flow. Her eyes had been bloated with water. She cried for everything. 

Jason. Her mom. Her dad. Her emotions. Her sister. 

She stayed curled up in the stall, crying, for thirty minutes before returning to her friends, taking a chair next to Jon and drifting off to sleep. 



A Gray Area Ch. 09



Was he serious?

Was all this really happening to her? She had trusted him. Trusted him with everything. With all of her deepest and darkest secrets. She had given him things she never thought to give anyone around her. And there right in front of her, he sold her out. He looked her in the eyes and sold out everything to his friends. She felt sick to her stomach.

"Are you serious, Jon? You swear to God she said all that?" Michael Brosier was asking. He had just recovered from a hysterical fit of laughing and looked exhausted and red faced. She looked back at Jon who was sweating. He was on some sort of drug but that didn't make it any better. "Yup," he answered matter-of-factly. His words were slightly slurred. "In her own fucking bedroom. I pounded the shit out of that." He admitted, laughing. His friends began laughing again and she did the only thing she knew how to do. She stood there. She took it. Every gruesome syllable of it. 

"And get this," Jon added. "Her mom doesn't even know that I go up there. Her mom thinks I'm a fucking angel. And she has no idea that I'm fucking her angel." Caden wanted to roll her eyes. That wasn't funny but she supposed that if she were a pathetic loser she would laugh at that too. 

Jon stumbled back and fell on his butt to the ground. He was definitely on a drug. A good one. Michael Brosier and his friends, Todd and Cal advanced on her, getting as close as they could. "Who woulda known that little Caden was a secret whore? A little naughty girl that likes it from naughty boys." Todd put his arm around her and leaned close to her ear. His breath reeked. Morning breath with a shot of sauerkraut and onions. Sick. She looked at Jon. His head was down on the concrete. He had passed out probably. Whatever drug he was on was the same one Michael and his buddies had popped. Only Jon didn't seem too used to it like his buddies were. Jon was sweating profusely and when he talked he would shake his head as if clearing his vision. 

Whatever drug it was that was working through his system, he was trying to fight. He was losing, but he was definitely trying to fight it. 

Todd licked Caden's ear and she jerked away from him only to be jerked back. "Stay still—what was it? Kitten?" At her nickname she felt her stomach churn. He had spilled everything to them. From their midnight visits to her nickname. What did he keep a secret?

In front of her, Michael un-zipped his pants, letting them drop to the floor. "Oh, Caden, my daddy died, please hold me, love me, need me, suck my fucking cock." All his words had been delicate and sincere except for the last four. Caden glanced across the street. Passed the gate her porch light was on. Someone was home. She just wanted to get home. Up to now she had kept her mouth shut but she wasn't so sure she could keep the act up. 

"C'mon, Cady. Show me some of that hospitality I've heard so much about. I need some love." He was going to ditch the boxers soon. Caden's mind was buzzing, the shock of Jon's involuntary betrayal playing continuously in her mind. 

Michael hooked his fingers in his boxers. They were going down. He was urging her on more but she would wait. Down they went. Around his ankles. 

Now.

Caden freed her hand from Todd's weak grip and launched her fist right at the half naked mans baby making factory. A crackled howl permeated the air as Michael clutched his balls, and possibly broken instrument, as if they would fall off. The howl had been quick and Caden was sure, as she stood up, Todd and Cal running to the mans side, that he had lost consciousness. 

No one made a comment when Caden opened her gate and stepped through. She looked back at Jon before closing the gate and walking to the house. She had planned on telling him tonight. C.K. had bought a ticket for New York. The flight was for next month but she had the airport on speed dial. As soon she got in her room, save for a few minutes talking to her mom, she called the airport, pulled a few strings, and had her ticket re-dated. They would hold her ticket for her.

Her flight left in the morning for 9:30. It was 1:30. She packed her things as quickly as she could and was settled into bed by 3. She didn't want to come back to this place. Everything was so plain. The colors around had turned bland over the hour and a half of her packing. Her purple room and taken on a grayish tint to it. Her purple bed was grayish. When she looked in the mirror her light chocolate skin and light brown short hair was grayish. Was she going blind?

No.

She wasn't. She knew she wasn't.

She was just seeing things for how they were. Dull and boring. Meaningless and bland. Ugly, dreary and gray.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The hospital was a scary place. Caden had learned that last year. The hospital was a place that you never wanted to go because good things never came from it. If you went to the hospital, you could probably expect a worse case scenario. Which was exactly what she was waiting to hear. Her mom had long since been out of the E.R. but no one had yet to come to her about anything. She watched the surgeons wheel her mother out. It didn't look like they cut anything open or off but she looked very sickly. Her normal brown skin had a grayish tint to it at the sight of seeing her, Deity had burst into tears again for the third time that night. Each time brought Caden a little bit further to her own breakdown. Again.

Everyone took a separate part of the hospital room. Collin leaned against the wall, gazing out the window. Jon sat on the floor next to the bed. Shane crowded the doorframe and Deity sat close to him. Not because she wanted to but because he had dragged her chair from across the room over to him the last time she broke into tears. He needed her within arms length. It was obvious now that Candice Winter was going to live so slowly Deity was able to compose herself and was needing less and less help from the detective. Despite that she still looked fragile. Her skin had taken a pale, sickly color, her eyes looked flat and were red from irritation of the tears. Sometime during midnight Shane had taken her down to the cafeteria and forced her to eat something, which apparently hadn't done any good. Jon had woken her minutes later with a pack of carrots, dip and lemonade in his hand. Carefully, she had eaten the snack, taking one hour just to finish one carrot. 

Of course she would have an appetite. She was in a room with her mother who was in some sort of coma. 

Not a damn doctor had come in yet. Over the hour, Caden's patients had steadily declined till finally: "Have they said anything to any of you? Why am I still in this hospital and I don't what the hell is wrong with my mom?" 

All attention was on her. Deity sat up in her seat, glancing at Shane then her sister. The same thing was on her mind but it was obvious she hadn't wanted to say anything. "They're probably still running tests," Shane reasoned. 

"They should still hypothesize with us. What do they think it is? What the hell is in that IV? Something. Tell us something." Jon's head had been lulling in his hands when he looked up at her. She knew he was staring but she made it a point not to meet his hazel stare. She needed a distraction. The constant beeping on her mothers heart monitor was like Chinese water torture. She pulled out her cell phone. 

Jason had yet to call her back. Her and Jon had arrived at the hospital a little passed midnight. It was eight in the morning now. He had to be home. If he was, he knew where she was. Why hadn't he called?

She pressed the three key on her phone and it speed dialed his number. It rang twice before he answered. 

"Maldonado," he answered. She felt a flood of relief that quickly entailed another emotion. Anger. She excused herself from the room before beginning her conversation. 

"I'm still at the hospital," she explained. No 'hey baby' or 'I miss you'. No. She needed to get to the point.

"I figured that. When are you coming home?"

"My ma is still here," 'in case you forgot' she was dieing to add. Of course he forgot.

"Oh yeah," Oh yeah? What? "How is she? She gonna live?" She could hear the smile in his voice. Had that been a joke about her mothers well being?

"I'm kidding, babe," he sounded as if he expected her to laugh at it now. An awkward silence past between them.

"Why didn't you come to the hospital after you got off work?" She asked.

"Baby, I was so tired. I came straight home and slept—"

"While I sat in a hospital chair dozing off, with the smell of rubbing alcohol wafting in the air like freshly baked bread from a bakery. You don't think I was tired too? You could have come here with me and been a pillow for me. I'm sure your job would understand." She waited for his answer. 

"No, Caden, they wouldn't understand. Some things are just more important, babe. This is my future I am holding in my hands here. I'm not going to let some incident take my dreams out of my hand." That was the last thing she had expected to hear. An 'I'm sorry' would have been fine. This was new. This was different. This was Jason. The part of him that she had so generously looked beyond when she examined him.

"Your future, huh, Jay? Not ours anymore. Yours. Not our dreams. Yours. Do you love me, Jay?" she asked, quietly.

The man on the other end of the line sighed. "Baby, stop being like this. I have to go to work and I don't want to go in a bad mood. Don't ask me stupid questions right now, please." Caden laughed at that. She had to or else she would cry. "Stupid questions?" she echoed. "Bad mood? My mom is in the hospital and your concerned about your mood? What is wrong with you? Two days ago you were per—well, lets make that two months ago, you were the man of my dreams. Suddenly we come to Cali and your...Well you're you, aren't you? This is the Jason that I always knew was hiding in there but I never thought had the guts to rear his ugly head. Wow. I'm blind. I'll call you later Jason." She didn't wait for him to say anything more. She simply hung up. 

C.K. stood outside her mother's hospital room waiting for some sort of sign. Something that would be a banner for 'I told you so. I told you he was a total asshole.' But it didn't come and she knew exactly why. Because it didn't take banner and a marching band to display the obvious. Some sort of ghost had possessed Jason overnight. Now he wasn't Jason. He just looked like him. Didn't really sound like him but definitely looked like him. 

Caden could see inside that Deity had moved across the room, closer to her mother. Shane had been keeping close tabs on her, which Caden was beyond thankful for. Things seemed to be looking up for them. Maybe Deity would give in. Maybe she would direct all her anger and hatred to kindness and love for Shane. 

The hallways in the hospital were long. Unlike downstairs, things in the upstairs rooms were calmer. People walked aimlessly up and down the hallways, every so often peeking into a room to see who inhabited it. Caden followed suit. She needed to sit down and review things in her mind. She found a sitting area a few hallways over and took a seat next to the wall, pulling her legs up into the seat with her. 

She needed a pillow. 

She needed...Jon. He had been such a big help for the last couple of hours. She had lied to Jason a little. She hadn't exactly dozed off in a chair. It was more Jon's shoulder. It was so funny how quickly things had changed between them. The week before she hadn't wanted to hear his name but now she wanted to go back to the way things had been with them. Back when she could talk to him and tell him everything and he would tell her things about his mom and dad. Or listen to him play a song on his guitar. Something that would make the present go away. She wanted to slip back to a time when she didn't have half the problems she did now.

"You want a friend?" Jon asked, taking a seat next to her. She hadn't heard him come up. His hazel eyes looked passed her face and seemingly into her soul. She worried for a second that he could see what she was thinking. "Yeah," she nodded and gave him a weak smile. "That'd be nice."

"I'm kinda worried. The doc hasn't come and in said anything. We've been in that room for a while."

"Yeah, I don't know. I don't know what to feel or think or say about anything." Jon scrunched his eyebrows. He shifted in his seat to get a better look at her. Caden looked down at her feet. "I have never felt so weird before. Like...I've failed in some way. And not like you fail a test. I failed because I knew but I ignored. You know?" He didn't, she knew, but he looked as if he were listening intently. "I feel like a guy that knows he has high cholesterol but still goes to McDonalds everyday then one day he has a stroke and dies and he's explaining to whoever he has to answer to that he knew, he just didn't care. He ignored it." Jon held her gaze for a few seconds before his lips turned into a smile. Then he laughed. "That is the weirdest analogy I have ever heard." Caden looked down at her feet trying to hide the big smile that played on her lips. 

"Yeah, but it fits. I knew Jason was an asshole. Some how I knew that everything he had been before was an act but because I was so eager to find someone...I looked passed it," she glanced at him then scoffed. "I must sound so desperate."

"No, you don't. You just sound like you needed someone to talk to and you thought you found him but you didn't. People make mistakes, kitten."

He called her kitten again but she ignored it. It didn't bother her much anymore. That was all he called her when they were younger. Why break an old tradition?

"I'm sorry," Jon said quietly. When they met eyes he shrugged. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "For what, Jon?" She knew but she wanted him to say it. She liked the way it played off of his lips. 

"You know for what. I hurt you. You know I did. And I know you still haven't forgiven me. So I'm making amends. I know you don't wanna be my friend—" She opened her mouth to say something but he raised a hand to stop her. "Let me finish. I know you don't wanna be my friend so I just want to let you know I'm sorry. I don't want you to have anything extra filling up your plate right now. You deserve better."

Finally she spoke. "I'm sorry too," she got the words out with a sharp nod. "For being a total bitch to you."

'"Don't say that. You weren't being a bitch. You were just making sure you didn't get hurt again"

"Same difference," She laughed out. "I wasn't giving you a chance and I know I should have. And I really didn't mean that comment about us not being friends." The last words had to be grinded out. She winced a little when she met his eyes again. Was he gonna laugh at her and say 'I knew you wanted me!' 

"So we can be –"

"No," She cut him off before he could finish. She couldn't bear to hear him ask. Jon rubbed his palms on his jeans. "So...now that we have a newly restored friendship. When your mom gets out of the hospital how about we go and get some coffee?" Caden assumed her face held a look of surprise because Jon quickly added "As friends."

Right.

"Yeah, um, hot chocolate for me though. You know I don't drink coffee." Jon nodded, laughing. "How could I forget?" 

"Ms. Kristoff?" A pepper haired man bent down to her height on the chair and extended a hand. "I'm Dr. McKeen. Your mother's doctor. If you'll follow me into the room I'll explain to you what's going on with your mother." The man had kind eyes and Caden took his hand gladly. "I'm so sorry that no one came to get you sooner." He began walking. Caden and Jon jumped up to follow behind him. He glanced at the two behind him before speaking again. "I can understand how angry you must be, Ms. Kristoff." 

Caden sped up to walk along side the man. He walked as if he were in a marathon. "No, I'm really not, Dr. McKeen. I'd just like to know what's wrong with my mom." Dr. McKeen entered Candice's hospital room abruptly. Deity, obviously startled, stood up quickly. "What's wrong with her?" No greeting. Straight to the point. Her pale features were marred with anxiety. Her face was still shiny despite the tears that had long since dissipated. 

"Well," Dr. Mckeen began, as he walked over to Candice. He put the blue stethoscope that had been hanging around his neck to Candice's chest, listening to her breathing. "Well, if you hadn't noticed before, she is sleeping." Deity relaxed visibly. "If she were in a coma we would have put her in the upstairs ward," he added. "When she arrived we ran some tests. Tested her blood and her sugar levels. It was more than obvious that she had gone into a diabetic coma. It seems she hadn't been keeping up her insulin—"

Caden put up a hand. McKeen quit talking. "I'm sorry, but did you say insulin?"

"Yes." Caden laughed, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Dr. McKeen. My mother doesn't take insulin, she doesn't have diabetes." 

McKeen flipped through the chart he held in his hand. His forehead wrinkled in concentration. He nodded then tapped a sentence he must have been looking at. "Apparently she does, Ms. Kristoff. Type 2."

"That's impossible," Deity cut in. "I live with her and I have never, not once, seen her shoot up." Everyone in the room turned to Deity. "...On insulin." She finished

"Is it possible that there is a mistake? Ma would tell us if she had something like diabetes. I mean, how do you hide that?"

Dr. McKeen looked overwhelmed. He put his hands out in front of him. "Ladies, ladies. There is no mistake. Candice Kristoff-Winter has been a diabetic since July last year. How she kept it from all of you is beyond me."

"Me too," Collin added. Deity punched him in the arm. "Type 2 diabetes?" the words had been echoing in Caden's mind. She had to try them out loud. "She could have died." Those four words through a tension into the air. A tension that made everyone ask the same question. What had she been thinking? Deity had been in the house for the last few weeks and Candice had not even thought to mention her ailment. Collin came by the mansion at least once a week, even if Caden or Deity weren't there, and the older women hadn't even attempted to mention it to him either. And she hadn't taken her insulin. 

Was she trying to kill herself?

"Since this is new for all of you, I'll leave you alone until Candice wakes up." McKeen removed himself from the room, mumbling an apology on the way out. Caden leaned against the door the doc had just exited. In her mind she tried to make sense of everything. "Ma wouldn't try and kill herself, would she?" C.K. hated how her voice sounded. Childish and hurt. Vulnerable. Jon must have heard it because he moved closer to her. Close enough to feel the warmth of his body. She wanted to close her eyes and sleep. Sleep against Jon. His smell was comforting and memorable. A solace for her in these difficult times. She felt as if he were a chess piece and was slowly making his way closer to her side of the board. Moving stealthily closer to her heart. But not so stealthily that she didn't notice it. She did. What scared her is that she allowed it. Removing herself from the door, she allowed herself to lay her head on Jon's strong shoulder. He was tense for a second before snaking an arm around her, bringing her closer.

Her rhetorical question hung in the air like a cloud of noxious gas. No one wanted to answer. No one dared. Caden closed her eyes and mind to the monotonous lullaby of her mother heart monitor. Instead she allowed herself to slide down to Jon's chest and listen to the melodic loveliness of Jon's heartbeat.



A Gray Area Ch. 10



"You'll understand when you get older, baby." 

C.K. felt as if she were in a dream. Or a nightmare. It was like going back to the days when her step dad made her go to church and the nuns would try and convert her. Make her see their ways. Only she wasn't at church. She was in a hospital. And it wasn't a nun trying to convince her. It was C.K.'s own mother. "You'll understand when you get older, baby." She had been saying since she woke up. Caden had asked her why she hadn't been aware of her mother's ailment and had only gotten that same response. She would understand when she got older. She had asked why her mother was trying to end her life. Candice had only replied with her same frustrating answer. 

"You'll understand when you get older, baby."

"I hope not," Caden disagreed, finally sick of hearing those words coming from the older woman's mouth. They were monotonous and repetitive like the sound of the heart monitor. "I hope I am never that miserable, at 45, to want to kill myself," her words had a harsh bite too them but Candice didn't recoil. She didn't even seem to notice. She was in a vegetative state. Only she wasn't. She seemed as if she wasn't all there. And yet she spoke to her daughter perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. 

"Ma, honestly," Caden whispered. She was begging now, so desperate to know the truth, that she honestly didn't care how she sounded. "Why do you want to die? Do you miss dad?" Those words seemed to catch Candice's attention and she turned her light brown eyes to her daughter, a light, almost drowsy smile playing on her lips. "He was such a good man. I loved him, Caden. I did." C.K. felt her heart grow weak. Her mother never talked about Victor. It was a sore spot for everyone, especially her. Seeing her mom like this made her want to cry. Cry for both of them. 

"So you do miss him?" She asked, her voice shaking. God, please no tears. If she cried this whole situation would turn into a weekday morning soap opera. 

"He was so handsome," Candice admitted. "His hair was so nicely kept. His smile..." Candice trailed off, her smile faltering. "Ma, please don't cry. If you cry I'll lose it."

"His smile was so perfect. I think it's his smile I fell for first. Then his eyes. And then he spoke and I thought I had died. He was always there. He had always cared. You know he was there when you were born? We weren't together but we were friends. Close friends. He was right there when you were born. I'll never forget the look on his face. He was so proud. Of me. Of you..." Candice took in a quick breath as if she remembered something that excited her. Her smile, which had faded halfway through her story, came back in full amplitude. "I caught him one day. In your room. He was holding your small little fingers and talking to you. I'll never forget what he said. 'I'm gonna do my best. I'm gonna take care of your mother. I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna make everything better. I'm gonna raise you as if you were my own daughter.' And then he said: 'you know what? Scratch that. From here on out. You are my real daughter.'" Caden hadn't noticed her mothers' tears because her own eyes were blinded by them. "I think that's when I fell in love with him," Candice admitted, her voice a broken whisper. "I think seeing that made my whole perspective on life change. He was my inspiration. But now that he's gone...so is my inspiration."

What do you say to something like that? 

Caden felt as if her heart was breaking just by hearing her mother speak. She sat in silence listening to her mother's sobs. With every sharp breath, C.K. felt her own sobs about to overflow. She hadn't cried at Victor's funeral. She had been to numb. It wasn't for another month that she actually let herself go. And, God, she had cried so hard. And so long. Almost a whole night. And not once that whole night had Jon moved. He had sat there holding her. His arms a light in the darkness for her, just as they had been on nights before.

"You still have us, Ma," Caden said. "Me and De aren't going anywhere. You even have Collin and Shane. We're all here for you, Ma. We can be your inspiration if you would just let us help." Caden felt stupid using her mother's metaphor but it was the only way to get a point across. "I'm not the one that needs a new inspiration, Caden,"

That caught her off guard. "What do you mean?"

C.K. followed her mother's eyes to the sleeping man in the corner. Jon's arms were folded across his chest and his head rested on his shoulder. His dark blonde hair fell slightly to one side. He was a complete picturesque of beauty and perfection, even in the thralls of sleep, and his admirer couldn't help but smile. She was wishing she had brought her camera. She would photograph him for her personal portfolio. When she turned back to her mom the older woman had already been studying her. "I think you know the reason why all your photos have been gray."

She did. She always had but once again she had managed to overlook it. Jason was a hazard to her. It was so plainly written in all of the things she did. His affect on her had passed right over her head. To her, it had felt as if she was carrying on normal but to everyone else it had been obvious. Her pictures had not only changed but so had she. 

"I have to go see him soon. Me and him need to have a talk," Caden repeated her words in her head. She sounded like a stern mother reproaching her child. She had to smile at herself. 

"He isn't good for you, baby." Caden scoffed. 

"The motherly advice is a bit over due, Ma."

Candice's smile was warm. "I know, baby. I'm sorry."

"Why does it seem like everyone is apologizing to me lately?"

"Because you deserve it." Candice sat up slightly in the bed, the springs creaked. Jon stirred, lifting his head from his shoulder. His eyes met Caden's. She felt a comforting warmness envelope her body. His hazel eyes held hers as he, seemingly, looked through her soul, trying to find where he fit. 

'You fit just fine where you are...'

"Good morning, Mrs. Winter," Jon greeted, getting out of his seat, stretching. Caden's mom returned his greeting with a warm, motherly smile. An approving smile. 

"Morning, C.K."

Caden found her voice buried somewhere deep down. "Morning." Jon made his way to the older woman's bed, stubbing his sneaker-clad toe on Candice's IV. "Ouch. Fuck." He stopped on the side of the bed, hovering over Candice. "Glad to see your feeling better, Candice." He said through gritted teeth, still fighting off the pain. He made himself comfortable on the side of the hospital bed. His eyes were heavy lidded, obviously from the lack of sleep he had gotten in his chair.

"No one ever said I was feeling better, Jon. I'm just alive." It hurt Caden to hear that. The words made her think, once again, that her and her sister weren't a good enough reason for their mom to want to stay alive. 

"And you, C.K.? Did you sleep well?" 

'No,' she wanted to say. She hadn't slept at all, which was now taking a heavy toll on her. She was considering going home to take a nap. She had an art show to go to at eight. Her art show. She couldn't go to a display of her own art looking like a train wreck. Or feeling like it either.

"No, actually I didn't sleep at all."

"She was walking around the hospital all night till she came back in here at around 5," Candice explained. "So me and her just sat down and talked."

Jon nodded, understanding. It had been a while since mother and daughter actually spoke to each other in a different way besides the phone and longer than a few minutes. 

"Do you want me to take you home or something?" Jon asked, turning to Caden, his brow furrowed in concern. 

"No. I actually have to stop by Jason's work and have a talk..." 

Candice cleared her throat. "Well, it's already 8. He should be at work now and you have an art show tonight so go. I'll be fine." She gave her daughter a reassuring pat on the hand, which really did little to reassure the girl. Caden nodded slowly, taking her time getting up from her seat. Inside herself, she was taking her time to build up her courage. 

All night she had thought about the things Jason would say to her and the things she would say to him. She would talk to him about how much he had changed in a matter of hours. How, for the last few months, he had been coming home later and later. Everything was going to be addressed. 

"Have fun at your exhibition tonight, sweet heart," Candice said, as Caden made her way to and out the door. The smell outside her mother's room was different from the hospital. The hospital itself smelled of plastic and cleanliness which, although was calming to some, made Caden want to run and hide. 

'Too many memories and I'm only making more the longer I stay in here.'

Jon followed her outside the room, lightly grabbing her arm as she rounded a corner. "Do you need a ride?" he asked again. "I don't mind." Caden was dieing to say yes and she almost had to bite her tongue not to. She needed some form of comfort as she made her way to what seemed like her death.

'This isn't going to end well,' she kept telling her self, a mantra that had stuck since early that morning.

"No, I think I should walk. I need some time to think." 

Jon was worried. She could see that easily. He wanted to help her more than anything right now and she wanted him too. "If you need me just call." He offered. Caden could only nod, then walk away. 

Walking out of the hospital was like stepping out of a bad dream. The distinct smell of clean wisped away from her as she stepped out into the already crowded streets. A tall man wearing a baseball cap bumped into her and kept walking. She was glad for the contact. She needed to make sure that she was alive and everything that had happened in the last two nights hadn't been some kind of nightmare.

'Suck it up, kid,' she told herself making her way down the sidewalk. Jason's agency was only two blocks from the hospital. That gave her fifteen minutes, if she walked incredulously slow, to think. The more time the better.

'So what are you going to say to him?' she questioned herself. 'Well, you can start with something simple and truthful like, 'Well just a few days ago you told me you loved me and now I call you and you act like you don't even want to see me or talk to me. My mom is in the hospital and you were making jokes. That's not cool.' Which it wasn't. 'And I think that after my art show tonight we should just go out and do something, you know. Maybe see a movie or go bowling. Something obnoxiously and disgustingly cheesy.'

Caden stopped in front of a semi tall building. She was there. Damn it all to hell. She hadn't even gotten a chance to get into what she really had wanted to say. 



The windows of the Williams Modeling Agency building were more like two way mirrors. On the outside Caden could see her reflection perfectly mimicking every little action she did but on the inside, to Caden's disbelief, she could see every person that walked by. A few people, every so often, fixed their hair or tie then continued walking which brought a smile to the anxious girls face. The front desk, that normally would be a Secretaries desk, was a security guard desk and the guard on duty was noisily talking away on his phone. 

"..I know. I liked it too." The guard laughed into the receiver. "No way. Not tonight, baby cakes. Oh yeah. I'm gonna eat it all tonight."

"Excuse me," Caden dramatically slammed her hand on the desk, having finally lost her patience. "I have been standing here for at least five minutes. Can you—"

The Guard put his hand over the receiver. "Miss, I am so sorry but you are going to have to wait just like every other person that comes into this building. I am having a phone conversation and that is so rude." He went back to his conversation on the phone. He reclined back into his chair, placing his legs on the desk in front of him.

'Fatty,' Caden held her words in. 'Fatty fuck face. Get the fuck off the phone.'

The guard sucked in a quick breath and let it go. Caden gagged. "Oh yeah, baby girl. I can't wait to get home to that—"

"Are you fucking serious," Caden muttered.

"Big, sexy—" he continued.

"Oh Dear God, please! I just need to know where I can find Jason Maldonado. He works here. Please just don't, DON'T finish that sentence until those elevator doors close with me behind them." The guard's eyes were angry as he flipped through a thick book. He muttered an obscenity to his phone sex partner. His pudgy finger skimmed across the M section before tapping on a name twice. "Seventh Floor." 

Caden walked away giving a thank you wave. The cop didn't smile back and from the reflection of the elevator doors she could see rent-a-cop flipping her the bird.

'Good.' She said. She was glad she was able to get some of her anger out. For a second she had almost forgotten the talk she was about to have. How nervous she was. Why was she so nervous? Jason would understand. He always did.

The elevator gave a light hearted ding as it landed on the seventh floor. The doors opened, slowly. Too slow. 'Let's get this over with' she wanted to scream. Like a battle cry. An inspiration to fight. She was ready to storm up to him and say 'Look here, dude. I'm in charge.' But she wasn't. And as quickly as the overcoming feeling came was as quick as it left. 

The seventh floor was busy. And it looked like it stayed that way most of the time. People walked back and forth, each step a determined thrust forward. A few people held cameras while others held lights. Obviously there was a shoot about to take place. People were yelling across the floor, barking orders, while others set their equipment down in front of a small podium. A few women walked in front of Caden as she stepped out of the elevator, abruptly cutting her off. 

"Excuse you," one said. C.K. walked passed her, ignoring the comment and helping herself to a long stare. The girl looked oddly familiar. Her blond hair was pulled up in a strange Marie Antoinette style and was flamboyantly decorated with silk ribbons and butterflies. Her foundation was stark white that was in perfect contrast with the blue eye make-up that matched her almost non-existent bathing suit. The girl was tall. Actually everyone in the room was tall. For the first time in her whole life, C.K. was acutely aware of how short she really was. 

Silently, Caden suppressed the need to go and stand on the miniature podium and curse out every model in the room, starting with the blond bitch that was prettier than her. 

'Jealousy is a horrible thing.' Candices' voice rang true in her daughters head. "Yes it is."

'Stay on track, Cay. You came here for a reason.' She guided herself back on the right track and walked across the floor to a black curtain that took up half the space on the floor. Jason was most likely in make up or hair or whatever models called it nowadays. 

Before entering, Caden stood outside the curtain taking a few deep breaths. 'This could end in one of two ways. One, and this is the least likely of the two, he completely understands and decides that he is going to everything he can to make me happy and he will come home early just to be with me. The perfect Cinderella bullshit romance story. Or two: He flies off the hook and tells me to leave because I am annoying him with stupid girl emotions or something.'

She entered.

The curtain room was crowded. In the small black confines people hobbled back and forth avoiding other people. Three or four people sat in chairs while four other people took to separate parts of their heads, grooming them all to the appropriate look. No one took even a remote interest in the girl who just passed through the curtains, but Caden wanted to scream from the awkwardness of her inappropriate dress. While everyone walked around in up to date fashion, Caden sported a white tank top, her favorite black Dickies and a pair of ancient Converses.

On the opposite side of the curtain Caden met eyes with Jason. If her heart hadn't been beating fast before then it was now. She couldn't breathe. She felt a heavy weight press upon her chest. The weight became almost unbearable as Jason, sporting his impatience and possible annoyance as a second skin, trudged over to her, grabbed her by the arm and hauled her out of the curtain.

"What are you doing?" He asked, obviously irritated. 'Now's your chance, Caden-girl. Get it out.'

"My mom is gonna be okay," C.K. said. "I just thought you would want to know. They are letting her out either tomorrow or tonight." 

Jason looked at her in disbelief then ran a hand through his black hair. "Is that all? You came all the way over here just to tell me that?" 

"I figured you would want to know. And I need to talk to you ab—"

"About something that I'm sure can wait. Hooray your moms alive but I got things to do, Caden. I can't believe you came all the way down here just to tell me something like that,"

"I figured it was important to you." In her mind, she wasn't sure why she kept pushing the issue. She knew it was important to him. Every so often Jason would look around to see if any one was eavesdropping on their conversation. "Am I embarrassing you by being here?" She couldn't help but ask. Jason sighed. "Caden, don't do that. Don't ask me things like that," he pleaded. 

"Well it's not all that hard. You just have to tell the truth."

Jason paused for a second. He was considering the words to tell her. "Look at how you're dressed, Cay. Those pants are a least three years old and it shows. Your tank top is dirty. You hair—dear God, Cay, your hair."

C.K. wasn't surprised that her hair looked a mess. She hadn't looked in the mirror for at least a day. Jason reached up to fix her hair, glanced behind her, then put his hand back down, focusing his attention back on his girlfriend. Caden couldn't help herself. She turned, searching for what made Jason think twice about his actions.

Sitting on a stool, getting her make-up redone was the bitch who had been rude to her a few minutes ago. And it was then that Caden remembered who she was. 

"Chasidy got your tongue?" Caden asked, turning back to Jason. He ignored her comment. "You need to leave," Jason stated plainly. "I have to get this shoot done, I'm gonna be late again tonight." Caden nodded. She felt her anger sizzle in her stomach. "Is she going to be late home too?" Caden pointed behind her. 

"Oh Jesus, Cay." Jason said exasperated.

"No, Not Jesus, Jason. Her. Is she going to be late going home too? Or what? Do you need to give her a ride home? In the car, I mean. Not on your dick." The anger that flashed into Jason's eyes made C.K. wish she hadn't been born, and when Jason grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her into a corner, she thoroughly reprimanded herself for not thinking before she spoke.

"Don't you ever, ever, talk to me like that. Do you understand?" Caden didn't say a word. She raised her chin a bit only to have Jason's grip tighten on her arm. He bit out his words slowly. "Do you understand?"

She nodded. That was the only thing she could do. He released her with a sharp thrust. "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you lately but I have work, okay? I am working very hard to make it. What do you do all day, Caden? Sit around, look out the window, eat, type, sleep, and take a picture here and there. And by doing that disgusting combination, you still are managing to make more money than me."

"Jealous?" Caden muttered. Jason was about to say something smart when Chasidy strolled up. Boldly, she intertwined her with Jason's. Caden didn't give a reaction despite Chasidy's obvious hopes. Instead she coulnt help herself but think of how much better they were for each other. They dressed alike, acted alike.





A Gray Area Ch. 10



'They're perfect for each other.'

"Camone, right?" Chasidy asked, her high pitched voice, once again, startling C.K.

"Actually it's Caden."

"..Right. I'm sorry to hear about your mom. When's the funeral?"

Caden's heart sunk. She looked at Jason for support but he was looking else where. "Um, well, she isn't dead. There is no funeral." 

Chasidy wrapped her finger around a curl that had fallen out of place. "Bummer. Jason was talking about it all morning. He said it was about time." She nudged Jason. "I thought you told me she croaked." Jason looked at Chasidy and then Caden. She knew she looked hurt. She could almost see her reflection in Jason's dark eyes. She could feel the sting of tears behind her gray orbs. He was making jokes about her mom. About her mom being dead...

"No, she's alive," Jason informed his voice monotone. Chasidy playfully smacked his arm. "You little liar," she gave a high pitched laugh while walking away. "It was nice talking to you, Camone."

When she was a good distance away Jason opened his mouth to speak but Caden held up a hand. 

"She croaked. Is that the word for it?" Caden let a tear fall. Jason growled at himself in distress. He was about to speak but Caden cut him off again. "You told that bitch that my mom croaked?" Caden laughed, but it came out as a pain filled chuckle. "You didn't even stand up for me." Another chuckle. She was laughing at herself. Crying at the same time. "You know what? Chasidy was right. It is about time. Come home as late as you want tonight but I want all your stuff out of my apartment by Saturday. You have what? A day?" 

"Caden, it was a joke. It wasn't meant to be hurtful."

"What?" C.K. asked, incredulous. "It wasn't meant to be hurtful? A joke about my mom's death? Tell me, what was going through your head when you thought it was a joke?"

"Caden—"

"No," she cut him off, for the third time. "I want you gone. Out of my life. Out of my bed. Out of my head,"

"Caden, you can't be serious. It wasn't supposed to be hurtful like this. You're overreacting."

"Oh, I'm overreacting? Admit it, Jason. You didn't want me from the beginning. Admit that I was just a place for you to stay. A free ride to Cali. A free ride for sex. A free ride for money. Jesus, Jay, I gave you my car. And slowly for the last couple of months I have slipped down your priority list. And you know it. And now it just seems like you have bigger, better and—" Caden pointed to Chasidy who was gazing at them from the other side of the room. "Blonder, priorities." She paused to let a sob out. "I'm sick of this. I'm sick of being confused. You love me, you don't, you love me, you don't. You want me? Let's fuck. You're hungry? Let's eat. You're broke? I'll pay. No. I'm sick of it...Saturday, Jason."

Caden willed herself to take a few steps backwards, her eyes holding Jason's. "And what are you gonna do?" He asked, just as she was turning away. "You need me, Caden. Stop this independent bullshit that you're trying to pull. I'm the only one that will put up with your shit. You fucking need me. Who's going to pay your rent?"

"Why does it matter? You didn't pay my rent anyway. You don't pay for anything in the condo."

"So what? You're gonna go jump into what's-his-faces arms?"

Caden stopped her retreat. She looked down at her feet then back into Jason's eyes. Had she planned on that? Was she going to run to Jon like the damsel in distress? Could she even trust him? 

Caden could only shrug. "At least his arms will be open."



A Gray Area Ch. 11



Candice was boring him. It was obvious by Jon's two watt smile. When she looked at him he would spark up, his teeth showing and glowing like a Colgate commercial, but when she looked away he would glance at Caden with a pleading look. 'Help me,' was what his eyes were saying. And Caden did nothing but sit back and laugh. To herself, of course. She had brought him home to help her 'study.' Of course Candice and Victor had approved. 

Out of nowhere, Caden's mom literally jumped out of her seat, she walked over to Victor's bookshelf. She pointed to a ship that was contained in an old bottle. "This one took him a month to do. He won a trophy for it. Caden helped a little didn't you, Cay?"

Caden nodded, even less interested in her stories than Jon. She glanced back at Jon then down at her book, a sly smile on her face. This was torture for Jon, pure and simple. Yes, he loved Candice Winter like a mother but no, he didn't want to hear her talk about Victors antique anything collection. "Ma, I think that's enough, I have a major test tomorrow and Jon said he would tutor. I'll see you later." Without waiting for a reply Caden shut her book and walked towards the door at the back of the library. She glanced back at Jon, giving him a rushed look. 'Live or die' her eyes explained. Jon chose live, saying a quick thank you to Candice before following Caden out. 

The corridor leading to the living room of the house was dark. Two bodies walked soundlessly through it until Caden felt hands around her waist. She let out a yelp before feeling Jon's warm hands cover her mouth. His breath was close to her ear. "I can't believe you made me sit through that whole thing. I would have given my soul to the devil if it would have made your mom stop talking."

Beneath Jon's hand, Caden's lips tugged into a smile. He released her mouth but not the rest of her body. He wanted to hold on to that. Get as much of her warmth inside of him before having to let go for the rest of the day. "Paybacks a bitch. You made me stay on the phone with your mom for a whole hour listening to her talk about, what was it? The Dewey Decimal System?" 

Jon laughed, the sound a low tremor in his chest that Caden felt through her whole body. She felt his breath on her ear, her neck. Involuntarily, she shivered and she knew that Jon had felt the movement in her body. He pushed her up against a wall that she hadn't known was there. If Jon hadn't been in the corridor with her, she would have run through it like a scared child in the dark. She could see nothing, not even Jon, in front of her. The only light came from, Caden had to laugh to herself, the end of the tunnel.

"You're not afraid of the dark, are you?" Jon asked, his lips trailing down her forehead. He kissed her temple and Caden forgot what she was going to say. She forgot what she had done all day. She forgot any plans she had for her whole life. All she remembered was Jon. Amazing Jon who came to her rescue any chance he got. Awesome Jon who got her out of trouble at home and with the law. Beautiful, sexy Jon who was kissing her right now, on her cheek, her jaw line, her neck. Sexy Jon with his blonde hair always elegantly disheveled and had her hands in it. Just like now.

Awkwardly, Jon found Caden's lips in the dark and for a second, she swore her vision lit up. His lips were soft in their attack, not asking for anything but taking everything. Caden parted her lips, giving Jon access to her but when their tongues met Caden pulled away. 

She looked down the other side of the hallway. The darker side, hoping to escape Jon's gaze that she couldn't see, but could very well feel. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm not...you know I'm not good at this. Kissing. It's...ha, I don't know." She laughed nervously. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say." She turned her vision back to what she hoped was Jon. He was still looking at her. She felt it. Felt his body shift as he leaned in to kiss her neck. Her body heated with the first touch of his lips. "I know you're weird about kissing. You gotta trust me, baby." he whispered. Caden suppressed another shudder.

"It's just me, Kitten." His lips left Caden's neck- "Only me." and found her lips once again. This time Caden was sure she saw stars. She felt his lips through every nerve in her body. When she parted her lips Jon took full control pushing his tongue in, battling with hers, his body forcing her back farther into the wall. She allowed him to take whatever he wanted from her. Her tongue moved sluggishly against his, simply enjoying how he tasted. Jon slowed himself down to match Caden's lazy drugging pace. Jon had possessed her. In every aspect of the word. He had taken her over. She couldn't function on her own. She needed him. 

He released her lips and found her neck again, this time his kisses were less fervent, more delicate, as if he were tasting her. Tasting her as if she were something sweet, something that couldn't be eaten too fast. His hands that had held her steadily up against the wall had found their way up her shirt. He rubbed her waist with his hands, and Caden knew it was taking all his will power not to move to their intended destination.

Jon O'Cyrus, ever the gentleman.

"You can," Caden offered, her voice sounding like someone else's. Her whisper was loud to her ears and her breath was unsteady. Jon raised his head. "You can put your hands where you want them." She heard Jon hesitate with what he was going to say. "C.K., I'm not tr-" A sudden burst of light came streaming in to the hallway as a hidden door opened behind Jon. Both of them pushed away from each other, startled. Victor stood proudly in the door frame, blocking most of the light with his square shoulder and large arms. He was a fit man for someone pushing middle age. Pushing it very hard. Caden squinted to try and see him among the bright light. 

He glanced at Caden then at Jon. They had pushed each other halfway down either side of the corridor. "I knew I heard someone out here." Caden jumped at the low timbre of his voice. He was a man to be respected, a man of authority. But he was also one of the kindest people anyone would ever meet. "Did I interrupt something?" he asked, his gaze landing heavily on Jon. From the light in the room Caden could see Jon's long sleeve cotton shirt had taken on a wrinkled look, had she had her hands on his sweater? And his hair was a mess, she had definitely had her hands there. "No, sir. We were just talking." Victor nodded but he wasn't buying it. His gaze slid over to his daughter. "Talking?" he asked. Caden could only nod. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She couldn't imagine how she looked, her hair was probably a mess and shirt was most definitely wrinkled, probably up on one side if gravity hadn't gotten to it yet.

Victor stayed in the doorway a few seconds longer before backing up in to the room. "You guys can talk in the living room or Cady's room." He began to close the door. "Just be sure to use a condom."

The door closed.

Caden's cheeks burned hot. She didn't move but Jon did. He took a few steps toward her, his hands reaching in front of him to find her. When he did, he held her face in his hands and kissed her lips then her forehead. "My dad just caught us," she said, quietly trying to reason things out to him. "I know. He didn't see anything though."

Caden laughed, the sound bordering on disbelief. "Who knows what he saw. Oh my God. And he told us to use a condom. Can you imagine what's going through his head?" Caden began walking, no, stomping towards the light the end of the corridor. It was a few seconds before she heard Jon following. His steps were slow and even and if C.K. hadn't known that it was Jon following her, she would have run.

"Let's go up to your room," John said, not yelling but the noise still loud. Caden turned around at him as soon as they stepped into the light. He wanted to go up to her room? After that little incident? God only knew that if Victor walked into the scene the next time he would get an eyeful.

When she took the time to look at him she realized that she had been right. His hair looked a mess. His shirt was tangled and wrinkled at the bottom. She didn't even want to find a mirror. Jon stepped towards her and ran his fingers through her hair. "You have beautiful hair," he murmured. He traced a few brown tendrils that ran down the side of her face, then down a longer strand that slid down her back. "Please don't ever cut it." Was he serious?

Caden looked for his eyes. When she found them, they were shining back at her with sincerity. "Seriously. I like your hair. Now let's go up to your room." He began walking towards the stairs but turned to look at her. "I wanna show you something."

~*~*~*~*~

Caden sat on the couch with a tub of frosting next to her. Half open, half empty. Her spoon dangled out the top like a white flag of surrender. One other already consumed tub of frosting also lay in the line. The inside fully cleaned of its remnants. 

Thus had been the eating pattern of Caden for the past week and a half. Frosting for dinner, chocolate of course, a burger or two for lunch, and a half a tub of ice cream for breakfast. Her cholesterol would thank her one day for this.

Because she had to, Caden walked over to the full length mirror by her door. She lifted her shirt and examined. She felt full but didn't look it. In fact it looked as if she hadn't eaten anything at all. In a long time.

'Ok, so maybe I have skipped a few meals?'

'For a girl that dumped a guy that was a total dickweed you're pretty torn up about it. Get over him, Cady. He was an asshole. He was talking shit about Ma and he was flirting with some bimbo right in front of you. C'mon C.K. you're better than that,' had been Deity's only comforting words. Caden had been on the phone but she hadn't listened to a thing. What did Deity know? 

C.K. sighed, letting her shirt fall back over her flat stomach. She stared at herself. Her hair looked bland, it needed a good washing. Her eyes looked tired and she had frosting remnants on the side of her mouth. She wiped it away, disgusted. What would Jason do if he saw her like this? What would Jon do?

Would Jason care? He had taken up a new residence with his co-worker, Malibu Barbie. Unconsciously, Caden snapped her finger, remembering Shane's analogy for how fast Captain America had found a new place to live.

'Good riddance,' Caden said, faking her independence. When she had gotten off the phone she had cried till she made herself sick.

"Jesus, Cay. What is wrong with you?" She asked into the mirror. "You didn't even like the guy." Or had she? Maybe she had always cared about him...even loved him but because Jon was back in the picture her emotions had gotten screwed up. 'Or maybe Jason was trying to make me leave him. What if he was cheating on me...What if I wasn't good in bed? What if-

"What if you shut the fuck up?" Caden yelled at herself. She was acting like a menstruating fourteen year old. He was gone. He was a loser. He didn't care about her, and she knew that for a fact because when the time had come for him to get his stuff out of her apartment, Jason had said nothing but 'You'll never do better than me' and 'Please don't come back when you've realized how royally you fucked up'

'Don't worry, Romeo,' Caden had said, fighting tears and doing a great job at it. 'I've got enough ice cream and vicodin to console myself that I've done right.' And she had closed the door.

True, she had enough ice cream but she was lacking in the vicodin area. She had needed one. Especially last week.

Her art show had been a disaster. Not for the people who attended it. For her. She couldn't focus. Every time someone asked about a certain photograph she couldn't respond. She hadn't known what to say. She had heard people make comments about how dull the photographs were.

'This is really disappointing,' she had heard someone say 'Caden Kristoff used to have beautiful, colorful pictures and now I feel like I have walked into a funeral or something.'

'Yes, well, welcome to my funeral.'

Caden's cell phone let out a low humming noise as it vibrated, then stopped. She picked it up and flipped it open. 

TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED, it read. She opened it.

FROM Eliza: Wht R U doing 2Nite?

Caden sighed, typing back a message: Y? 

She waited a few minutes before receiving another message. 

Jus answer the dam question. 

Caden smiled, typing back: Eating ice cream and watching lifetime movies. Y?

Once again she sat and waited for another message to come but after a few minutes, instead of a vibration there was a knock at her door. 

"Who is it?" C.K. yelled, not even bothering to get up. When there was no answer she called out again asking the same question. "Well if no one answers," she finally said. "I'm not going to answer it." As a reply to her statement there was another knock. This one more insistent than the last. Caden sighed. She made her way over the door and looked through the peep hole. It was black, with someone's finger covering it. "Yeah. Real Mature." She turned her lock over and swung the door open, ready to bitch someone out.

"Hey!" Eliza pushed her way past Caden, not even waiting for her to be invited in. Ann Marie and Shane stood outside. A huge smile on their faces. "You're going out tonight," Shane stated. He pushed the door open a bit farther to give himself room to walk in. Ann Marie followed, grabbing Caden's hand, despite her protests. 

"Guys, you can't just walk in here and state that I'm going out. I have things to do." A lie. And Shane caught it easily. He pinned her with his heavy brown eyes. "What pray tell do you have to do tonight that is so important?" He leaned against the kitchen counter, his arms folded across his chest. The muscles in his arms strained against his sleeves. He was the complete opposite of his cousin and C.K. couldn't help but notice it. Jon was skinny, yet still managed to have some muscle unlike Shane who was built; His chest large and bulky. Jon had the looks of a pretty boy rock-star while Shane had the looks of military man.

"Well," Caden began. "I have to—" 

"Clear out another Dairy Queen?" Eliza asked. She pointed to the collection of empty tubes on the coffee table. 

"Jesus Christ, Caden!" Ann Marie yelped. She glanced from the table back to her friend, not believing that such a small girl had eaten all that ice cream and frosting. "No, not Jesus," Shane said. He picked up a half empty tube of frosting before setting it back down. "Not Jesus. Betty Crocker."

"You guys, I really can't go out tonight..."

"And why not?" Eliza set her hands on her large Hispanic hips. "You need another week of getting over the loser?"

Ouch. That was unnecessary and from the look Shane gave the hispanic girl, Eliza realized it too but she didn't apologize. There was no point in apologizing for something that you meant. "You're going out tonight. You're going to have fun. And you're going to get drunk." Shane opened his mouth to protest but Ann Marie quickly cut him off. "Even if she is under age." She shot him a look. "I won't tell if you won't."

"I can't." C.K. argued, futilely.

Eliza jumped up, ecstatic. "Great. Let's get you dressed."

Caden's bathroom was small but she hadn't realized it until she was in there with two other girls. Eliza and Ann Marie weren't large girls. They were actually almost as petite as Caden but there was a difference. They had hips. Not just hips; an ass. Sure, Caden had a butt. It wasn't anything special. It was just...a butt. Not even nice enough to be called an ass and she was definitely lacking in the hips department.

Caden sat quietly as the two girls went to work, quickly yet thoroughly on her hair. Every so often they would murmur something to her that would require a yes or no answer. 

"Say adios, chica." Eliza began cutting the un-even layers on her hair. Earlier she had heard one of the girls mention her hairstyle as being too grungy and it wasn't till a good bunch of the ends were gone that Caden actually saw the difference. 

"Thank you, guys, a lot for this." Caden felt implored to say. "De nada," Eliza replied. "We were worried about you staying all cooped up in this place. Especially after what happened with Jason. You need to go out. You're single. Go have a life."

"Have you talked to him?" Ann Marie questioned. She asked the question slowly so that if someone wanted to cut her off they could do so. No one did. Eliza must have been wondering the same thing.

"No. I, um...no I haven't. I talked to Collin though. You know how Collin is. He always knows somebody. Supposedly Jason found a new place to live. And he is happily moved on."

The strand of hair that Eliza had been cutting dropped. 'Are you serious?" She was incredulous. Caden smiled even though she knew it wasn't funny, then nodded. Eliza picked the strand back up, cutting sharply, barely missing Caden's scalp. "I never liked that boy. I swear to God, I never did." Eliza's accent had become sharp with her frustration and Caden felt as if she had walked in to a Zorro movie.

"Yeah..." Caden said. " I'm not sure if I did either."

Caden was getting dressed and she couldn't figure out why. For the twenty minutes that it took Eliza to pick out an outfit for C.K. to put on, Caden had protested. She had named everything she could think of to try and convince her that she wasn't going. 

'I'm not feeling good from all the ice cream I had. I'm really trying to get over my mom being in the hospital. I'm depressed because Jason is a dick. I have a lot of prints to go through because I have an auction coming up.' All of these excuses were true to some extent but they didn't pass. Eliza had tossed some clothes on the bed for Caden to sift through and choose what she wanted to wear.

'None," she had said. 'I don't want to wear any.'

Eliza and Ann Marie had glanced at each other, smiles in their eyes. 'That's fine. You can go naked then, as long as you're ready in ten minutes.'

She didn't even know where they were taking her. For all she knew she could be going to her death. Shane and Eliza could have spent the last week plotting her kidnapping and were executing it right now.

And she was going with it willingly. Well, semi-willingly. 

"This better be worth it," Caden yelled at the door, knowing that the condos' four occupants stood outside it. Someone's foot was tapping a beat of obvious impatience. "It is. Now hurry up. Ay dios mió, you take forever just to put on some clothes," Ann Marie called back.

"Well, I don't exactly know where I am going so I'm not that eager to hop in the car and go with you." C.K. heard Shane laugh as the doorknob turned giving way to the tall brown-haired man. "I could be naked," Caden warned as he let himself in, closing the door behind him. "But your not." He sat on the bed, near her lamp, not looking up at her, as precautionary measure if she decided to strip and change her clothes. Caden walked into the bathroom, grabbed a towel off her sink and dabbed her face. She was sweating, and it was then that he noticed it was very humid in the room. The fog from her earlier shower had dissipated but the heat remained. 

"Just to let you know, your not gonna die tonight." Caden looked up at him, smiling at his conversational tone, despite the words he spoke. "Saving me for another night?" she asked. Shane could see her as she sat down on the toilet seat, pants up, and slid on shiny red stilettos. Her hair hung down wildly as she draped over her knees, fitting the heels onto her feet. When she sat back up she was looking at him.

Shane smiled, not being able to help it. She was gorgeous. Everything a woman could and should be. Her hair had been cut drastically and although still had its choppy short layered style that was Caden, she looked elegant. Her light chocolate skin looked smooth and her make-up was non existent. She wore black pin-stripe shorts that buttoned on the side and barely covered anything. Her shirt was plain white with a small collar but clung to her and topped it with an even tighter vest that matched her shorts.




A Gray Area Ch. 11



"Have you talked to her?" Caden asked, knowing the one thing that was always on the back of his mind. Shane shook his head. "After your mom got out the hospital, she ditched me. I had to stop by the station to tell them why she left and they dropped those charges. I have a meeting with the judge next week. He is considering dropping the charges that are already against her." Those words brought an even bigger smile to Caden's face. This one actually met her eyes.

"That's great." She exclaimed. Shane leaned back on the bed. He placed his hands behind him. "Yup," he nodded solemnly. Caden stood up, wobbled a bit then walked towards him with perfect grace, taking a spot next to him on the bed. "She'll come around, Shane. Give her time. It's Deity, come on. She isn't going to throw herself at you."

The brown haired man let his body fall back on to the bed. He was tired. He was sure he looked it too but was to busy helping other people out to take care of himself. Caden had told him once that that was she liked most about him. His selflessness. "I'm not expecting to blink and have her in my arms, but Jesus, Cady...She needs help. Not that your not giving her what she needs but she needs someone who is going to make sure she does things right and when someone to teach her a lesson when she doesn't." He had been serious about his words but when he looked up at C.K. she was smiling. "Teach her what sort of lesson?" she asked, biting back the laugh that obviously wanted to spill over.

"A good one." His face was stern but she let the laugh go and the master bedroom filled up with music. She laughed just like her sister. Caden sat up from the bed and walked to the mirror, checking to see how she looked. "One day, I'm gonna turn her over my knee and give her lesson she'll never forget." Upon his words, Caden turned from her reflection to look at him. "I'm serious." And he looked it. The passionate and solemn look in his eyes made her shudder at the idea of what he wanted to do to her little sister.

"I swear to God, Caden. If you don't hurry your skinny ass up, I'm gonna g—"

"Alright, I'm coming. Don't have a conniption." Caden checked herself one more time. "You ready?" She asked Shane. She didn't look back at him. 

"Yeah." He answered, his voice not really as excited as Eliza's or Ann Marie's.. "Let's roll."



A Gray Area Ch. 12



The music was loud. Deafeningly so. For the second time that night Caden was sure the heavy bass from the music was going to mess up her heartbeat. She sat near the bar of the poorly lit club, Delaney's, and sipped at a drink the bartender had given her. There was a weird after taste to it and Caden couldn't help but think about how Shane had given her a talk about putting her drink down somewhere. C.K. glanced back the bartender. He was talking to someone but he glanced over at her and smiled. 

'Please don't think I'm cute, please don't think I'm cute,' She chanted in her head. But he did. And he was walking towards her. 

"Jesus Christ," her mumble was lost in the heavy bass of the song that still played. He put a drink down in front of him. Caden assumed it was someone else's that he was supposed to be fixing. "I never see you around here. Are you new in town?" He was yelling casually over the music. "Yeah," Caden yelled back. It was obvious he hadn't heard her because he leaned in closer. "Yeah," she repeated, raising her voice. "I used to live here but I moved and now I'm back."

He nodded. He handed the drink off to a man who had approached them quickly, ready to complain. The man left. "Well, welcome back." The bartender said. He smiled but didn't mean it. He didn't want to talk about where she was from or where she had been. He wanted to know what kind of guys she liked and if she was a freak in the sheets. Caden nodded, not knowing what else to do. The situation had turned awkward in the blink of an eye and she was ready to leave. "So are you here with anyone? Boyfriend? Brother?" Caden looked at him confused. 'Why would I be here with my brother?' she wanted to ask. "Girlfriend?" he added with a laugh. Caden didn't smile. She held up her drink as if giving him a quick cheers. "Right." She yelled. The song had switched and was now playing a fast beat techno-rock song. "I'm gonna go now." The man nodded his head slowly, clearly disappointed but C.K. didn't let that stop her.

She walked along the walls of the club, careful to avoid the dance floor and stopping every few minutes to talk to a guy, that intersected her path. She made it clear to each and every one of them she wasn't interested. She hadn't even wanted to go out tonight. Her plans had been to stay home and watch movies but those had gone up in a mushroom cloud in a matter of seconds. Caden found Shane, Ann Marie, and Eliza on the couches near the back of the club. Shane sat slouched, observing every person that walked by while Ann Marie and Eliza chattered endlessly with two men, both of them appearing to be twins.

Caden dropped down onto the couch with Shane, the sudden weight change distracting the man from his observations. He glanced at her with a small smile. "Are you having as much fun as I am?" he asked. It wasn't necessary to yell where they sat; the couches sat pushed to the back of the club, more as a VIP section than a rest area. Caden shrugged. They hadn't been there that long so it was too soon to judge if she would regret coming out. "You brought me out of the safety of my house to watch you watch other people?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips and reflecting in her eyes. "No," Shane began. He looked as if he were thinking of something to say. "You'll see why I brought you out here." He took a swig of his beer. "It will be worth your while." Caden raised her eyebrow conspicuously. He noticed it. "I promise," he amended. She took a sip of her drink, joining in on Shane's activity. Watch people, take a sip, watch more people, take another sip. Every so often, women would flock over to him, asking for a dance. When he would deny they would walk away, brokenhearted. Caden wanted to laugh even though nothing of it was funny. She felt bad for them. Shane was a good looking man, just like his cousin.

The thought came out before she could stop it and she laughed from her own embarrassment. Shane glanced over at her as she took a large, very large, swig of her drink. "I wanna laugh." He held up his drink in a quick cheer at a passing man, probably a co-worker, then glanced back at her. He was waiting. Caden tried to think of something to say quickly. How dumb would she look if she told him that his cousin was on her mind? Not just now. But a lot. Especially since her and Jason were done. "It's nothing." But Shane didn't buy that. He continued to stare. His eyes waited patiently for her to tell the truth. "It's nothing!" her voice almost squealed. God, was she tipsy?

"You know, he does the same thing." Shane glanced out at the crowd once more before returning his gaze. "He'll get quiet then laugh and say it was nothing but you always know who he is thinking about." Caden could only stare. He couldn't have been talking about Jon. Could he? Her heart sped up at the idea that Jon thought about her.

'Play dumb,' she told herself. "I don't know who you're talking about." This time it was Shane's turn to laugh. "Really?" 

"Does he really think about me?" She couldn't help ask. Shane laughed again. Quieter this time, like a chuckle. "Yeah. A little too much. His band was thinking of kicking him out because he couldn't write any songs. He can't really think passed your face." He nodded to himself, as if his mind had thrown in another suggestion. "Or other parts of your anatomy."

"You're kidding me? Does he talk about me?" She asked. "I mean, we talked in the hospital and we kinda fixed everything. He asked me out to coffee and I said yes."

Shane's eyes were sincere. "He wants you guys to be friends again. Kind of like the old days, you know?"

Caden's face grew warm with memories of their 'friendship'. "We really weren't what you would call—"

"Friends." Shane finished, with a sly smile. "So I've heard." He glanced at her face, mistaking her look of shock probably for anger. "He didn't go into detail! He just said that things were different before he fucked up. Things went a little deeper than every one else saw."

Caden nodded. The memory hurt. No one had known they were together. She had been his dirty little secret. Inside they were lovers. Outside they were friends but even then, just barely. That had killed her. Rumors had been a daily battle with them and Jon had fought them off easily with a disgusted look and two quick words: 'hell no'.

"How deep did it go?" Shane questioned. Caden looked up at him, surprise in her eyes. Should she tell him? "You don't have to tell me." But his words convinced her otherwise. He was dying to know and Caden couldn't help but feel joy at the fact that Jon hadn't told. 

"He was my first," She admitted with a sigh. Her eyes had been captivated by the leather of the couch she sat on but a small sound from Shane brought her sight upwards. He was incredulous. "Jon was your first?" he asked again, as if he hadn't heard her right the first time. She only nodded. "I don't believe that." His face settled back into a smug smile. C.K. shrugged. "You don't have to. It's true."

"Was he any good?"

"Ew."

"He's my cousin. I have to know if I have competition with the ladies."

"It was my first time."

"It's either a nightmare or a fantasy. A lot of girls enjoy their first time." Caden gave him a scrutinizing look. "Depending on whom it's with. Just answer the question." Caden shrugged again. She was torn between telling the truth and making up disasters that occurred before, during and after. If she told the truth, she would probably blow Shane out of the water but if she lied, Jon's sexual reputation, which despite her disapproval and jealousy, has probably built since she left, would be ruined.

"It was good." She answered. It felt as if she were answering her mom on how her day at school was. Shane stared, waiting for details. "It was good? That's it? He must have been horrible. Coming too soon, and not knowing how to put on a condom. Your not gonna tell me when it happened? Where?"

"What's with the interrogation?" She wasn't annoyed, but she wanted to make it sound like she was. A women, pretty and probably Hispanic walked up to Shane and asked him for a dance. He waved her off, irritated at the sudden interruption. "Well?"

Caden sighed, moving closer to the curious man as if someone could hear them over the loud music. "Start off with the basics. When?"

"July 23rd. About two months before I left for New York."

"Christ," he said to himself. "Where?"

"In my room." Shane looked as if he were waiting for her to say something else so she added, "During the day, when I had aquamarine sheets on my bed. My parents were home. Deity was home? We were having tacos for dinner that night? I had just bought red shoes? What do you want to know?" She had raised her voice and Shane was laughing at all the things she named.

"I want to know how it led up to that and was it any good."

"You're so fucking sick. I pray you're not getting of on this."

"I'm not. I'm seeing how Jon broke through your defenses and maybe I can take some lessons and break through Deity's." Caden's heart sank when she heard his words. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell anything anymore. God, he was trying to hard. "It started outside my parent's private library. We were kissing and my dad walked in caught us but he wasn't mad. He let us off the hook and told us to go somewhere else but be sure to use a condom."

Shane laughed, hysterically. He stopped when he realized she wasn't kidding. "Victor told you and him to go somewhere and be sure to use a condom?" Caden nodded, a small smile playing on her lips. Shane's face made her want to take a picture. His mouth hung half open his eyes wide. "So needless to say, I was thoroughly embarrassed and I kept complaining but Jon was going up the stairs and he said 'I want to show you something.'" Caden chuckled, to herself, looking passed Shane at something that wasn't there. "I know it sounds like something a pedophile would say to lead a kid into his house but..." Caden couldn't suppress a shudder. Despite herself, she wanted to relive them. Every minute of them. "It was amazing," she admitted, still not meeting his gaze. "He would touch me somewhere, and I would lose it. I was so embarrassed because I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing but he would show me and— it was just amazing."

Shane watched her as she took another swig of her drink. "Now why did you bring me here again?" she asked, her eyebrows scrunched up and she tried to change the subject. Her cheeks were burning. "You don't have to be embarrassed," Shane consoled. "It's sex...well maybe in that case it was something a bit deeper. But it's still sex."

"I'm not embarrassed about the fact that we had sex. I'm humiliated at the fact that it's your cousin and I just told you about it." Shane smiled. "I would have found out anyway." Caden rolled her eyes, smiling. He probably would have.

As the two settled back into their chairs, a heavy guitar rift settled through the air, catching everyone's attention as it echoed. The sound made Caden look up to the stage that had darken to a black shade and Shane sat farther back in his seat, a smile on his face. As the solo slowed down, the stage lit up but only a little. Jon stepped forward to the edge of the stage; his blonde hair wild as usual and a blue guitar dangling heavily across the front of his body. Caden reminded herself to breathe as he spoke into the mic.

"How's everybody doing tonight?" he called out. The club replied with loud cheers and whistles. Beside her, Shane clapped in a slow beat. Caden simply stared. "You guys have got to forgive me for missing out the last two days. I had a friend that was in the hospital. But she is better now." More people in the club cheered. "Alright," he called, not using the mic. "Let's get this shit started."

He played the same solo again except the tempo was faster and the whole band played along with him. Ann Marie came beside her and was grabbing her hand pulling her into the crowd that had gathered near the stage. Caden didn't protest this time. She pushed through people and was at the front of the stage in no time. Ann Marie and Eliza appeared next to her, nodding their heads to the tempo. 

Caden felt the bass in her chest again but this time she wasn't concerned about it restarting or stopping her heart. She worried about Jon stopping it. He looked amazing. His shirt was a striped black and gray and almost covered his hands. He was already sweating. His jeans were designer and fit him perfectly. Eliza nudged Caden roughly and said something in her ear. 'What?" She yelled, not hearing the Hispanic girl over the music. Eliza rolled her eyes. Her thin tan finger pointed up at the stage. Caden's eyes followed and met with a pair of hazel ones. Jon looked right at her, a smile playing on his perfect lips. 

"I'm glad you could make it," he yelled down to her. Caden could only manage a shrug which made his smile broader. His eyes diverted back to the crowd. He put his lips close to the mic and began singing.

Caden felt as if she had died and gone some place nice. Not paradise. No, paradise was nothing compared to this. His voice echoed through out the room, gracing every person that heard it with its beauty. He sang about a girl he had loved and then lost. He sang about how things would be so different this time around. 

He sang about Caden, and she knew it. Periodically he would look down at her and smile. With mustered strength that she gathered in between glances, she would smile back, trying her best to make it sincere despite the fact that she was dying inside. His song ended going into another one that was softer yet still strangely upbeat. This time he stared at her through the whole song. She didn't catch a word of his lyrics. She only saw his eyes; those hazel orbs that had watched her so many times and had turned up into a smile when she so much as sneezed or tripped. Those hazel orbs that she had fallen into and couldn't get herself, didn't want to get herself out of. She welcomed whatever sweet demise they would bring. 

"God, he is looking right at you!" Someone from behind her yelled. She could only nod.

'Yeah,' she wanted to say. 'I know.'

 C.K. hadn't realized Jon's band was off the stage until she was talking to Shane about it over near the couches. She bragged to him about how amazing his cousin was and was sure to leave out the gushy details about her heart and his eyes. "It's been forever since I've seen him play. He's definitely gotten better. And his voice," her heart sped up at the mention of it."-has definitely gotten amazing. I mean he was great before but...wow." Shane smiled at her, knowing she was leaving details out. 

"Should I get a hose to cool you down or will you survive?" Caden nodded. She ran her fingers through her hair. Shane reached up to fix the strands that took on their original unruly place. "Yeah," he agreed, finishing up Caden's grooming. "He and the guys have been working hard. I can't quite say that they are trying to make it big but they are definitely doing something different, Right, Jon?" Shane's last question had been directed behind her and C.K. turned to see Jon taking a seat next to her. He had changed and was now sporting an all-black short sleeve shirt that hugged his chest perfectly. He had kept the designer jeans.

Caden felt the weight distribution of the couch change from one side to the other as Shane got up and Jon sat down. "So you liked the show?" he asked, his hands were carefully placed in front of his perfect lips, hiding a smile. Was he happy to see her? "It was...loud," she tried sounding indifferent and pulled it off. "It's been a while since I actually went to a show or a club so it takes some getting used to." Jon only smiled wider. He was reading in between the lines of her apathy, catching her struggle to sound detached despite the obvious. 

"I heard about you and Jason. I'm sorry." He tilted his head a little to the side, bringing his head to his resting hand on the back of the couch and racked through his short hair. "I know how much you liked him so I'm sure an apology isn't reall—"

"You know, to tell the truth, I don't really wanna talk about him." Caden sat up. She made it so her independence showed through her posture. "He was a bad mistake that I don't wanna reflect on. I came out here to have fun and that's what I'm gonna do." She shrugged. She wasn't looking at him but through her peripherals she could see him gazing at her; his head still tilted to the side almost as if trying to comprehend her. "This isn't your scene. I don't know why they brought you here."

"They brought me here to see you."

"I don't know why something like that would cheer you up."

She glanced back at him, holding his eyes then looked back out at the dance floor. "I don't know either. But it definitely did help." The weight changed on the couch again. Jon joined her in a slouched posture, leaning down, elbows on knees, watching the dance floor. "Do you want to get out of here?" He asked. C.K. failed at hiding her surprise. "Just go somewhere," he amended. "Anywhere you want. We'll do anything you want. Let's just go." When she nodded he hoisted himself up. He grasped her hand lightly from off her knee, pulling her to a stand. His hands were warm, the fingers surprisingly un-callused, his palm a strange soft comfort. His hand let go but his eyes directed her, glancing back at her multiple times until they were out of the club.

 C.K. couldn't stop laughing. "Oh, you are such a liar!" she squealed after taking a healthy swig of her Coke. She handed it off to Jon, letting him drink the rest before opening another one. 

They had gone straight to McDonald's because Caden had said 'I can eat.' She had ordered a quarter-pounder and a large fry. She'd nixed the drink when Jon lifted up a 12 pack of Coke cans in his back seat. She finished her burger and fries before Jon was even half way done with his. 'Jesus,' he had said, surprised. 'Normally when a girl says she can eat there's a distinct connotation that they can't eat that much.' She had reached over and took a bite of his burger. 'Never underestimate the power of a break-up.'

Which brought them to where they were now: an abandoned shopping plaza parking lot. Jon slouched down in his chair, nervous about being caught by a rent-a-cop. Caden on the other hand, sat proudly erect, foot under her, newly opened soda in her lap. "I swear," Jon reassured her of her previous accusations. "She has eight kids now." Caden through her hamburger wrapping at him, making him join in her laughter. "She was the Virgin Mary when we were in high school. There is no way she went crazy in college."

"I swear," he repeated. "She started dating some fifty year old and got knocked up. Supposedly, the other seven kids are from some of his other co-workers." Caden gasped. Jon gave her a satisfied grin, loving the surprise on her face. 'That's crazy and I don't believe it for a second." She gave a defiant nod but broke the mood with a smile. "A lot changed after you left." Jon informed her quietly. She shifted her foot from under her. Her head slid back against the window so she looked at him with lazy eyes. The smile that had brightened her face, quieted down to a small curl at the end of her lips. "So I heard. How was Deity, while I was gone? She barely ever called." Jon sighed, noticing her attempt at changing the subject but not pushing it. "She was difficult," he answered. "You know how she gets. She's suspended from UCLA because of her record. They said she can't come back until they have notarized proof that she has cleaned up her act." 

"Jesus Christ,' she murmured. " I never wanted her to end up like this." She told him. Her eyebrows scrunched together in frustration and Jon could tell she was taking this as her fault. "I don't think anyone wants their kid to turn out badly, even though I don't think she has turned out too bad. She's just confused." He shrugged as if it were nothing. "She makes bad decisions, yes. Does she do it on purpose, no. Does she wish she could take back her actions? Wouldn't doubt it for a second. She just needs a push in the right direction." 




A Gray Area Ch. 12



"I'm supposed to be that push but look at me. I make even worse decisions."

"I don't see that. I think you make great decisions and you're brilliant."

Caden's broad smile returned, full watt. "What make me so brilliant?" She sat back up, this time leaning forward on her leg, wholly interested in his analysis of her. "Well, for one thing, you made some very good financial decisions. Look at you. You're pretty much a millionaire. You don't even need to go to college." Caden laughed. "I have never made a financial decision that was more difficult than ordering from the dollar menu or the regular one. My parents make all my 'financial decisions' and the only reason why I have money, that I can't touch by the way, is because my dad left it to me in his will."

"But you don't need to go to college." He added, trying to catch her on something. "Yeah, only because I have a job that pays me enough to just sit around and do nothing for the rest of my life."

"Sounds fair enough" Caden kicked him playfully. "Yeah, you would think that." Jon grabbed her as she went in for another kick. His grasp on her ankle was firm, yet startlingly comforting. The warmth from his palm radiated like radio waves from an antennae and Caden's whole body caught the signal. They held each others gaze for a long while, allowing the awkward perfection of the whole situation to set in. 

"Your hands are warm," she whispered, feeling her whole body heat up. He didn't answer. He just watched her. His hazel eyes doing that that thing they did. That thing that made it seem like he was looking at her soul or her thoughts. She kept her mind carefully blank. "I used to love looking at you like this," he whispered. It was loud in the silent confines of the car. "Especially at night while you slept—" he gave a small smile."—and when I was inside you. You looked so beautiful. You still are." As if the present tense brought her back, C.K. cleared her throat. Jon released her ankle gently, allowing her to pull it under herself again. Skillfully, Caden avoided his gaze. She let a tense silence settle between them before speaking again. "I'm sorry I never called you back," she whispered. Her gray eyes found his then diverted again. "I got your message as soon as I got off the plane in New York but...I-I don't know." She shrugged. Her eyebrows knitted together in frustration again. "I was scared. I knew that you would want me to come back and then what could I say? No?" She laughed, but there was no humor in it. "I'm just sorry." Her head lulled back on the glass again. She tilted herself upward to look at the lamp that lit the small area of the parking lot. 

"It's alright," she heard him say and she couldn't help but smile. Her heart had been pounding since she got in the car and for the first time in a long time she felt a sense of ...nothing. Instead of her chest being burdened by the weight of every day life, she could breathe. She could sit back and smile to herself knowing that when she got home she could laugh for all the crazy things she wanted to laugh about before. She could be herself without having to impress a stranger that she had let romp and play through her life. She could go back to the high-yet-ironically-low maintenance life she had lived before her move from California. Caden missed it all from the semi-bohemian lifestyle to the thrill of getting caught. C.K.'s smile widened. The thrill of getting caught with Jon. Like now. 

And she realized it then. Almost as if someone had removed a blindfold from in front of her eyes. She had missed Jon and all the recklessly addictive emotions he brought with him.

"It's alright," he had assured. "You did nothing wrong."



A Gray Area Ch. 13



She knew who it was before the message waiting button even went off. 

She had been dreading it the whole flight, from California to New York. As she soon as it was safe for her to turn her phone back on, she did. For the first two minutes she was safe. Nothing went off, nothing beeped, nothing flashed, safe. Then as she was grabbing her bags and walking out, it flashed, vibrated, and beeped. 

With unsteady hands she loaded her bags into a waiting taxi. She loaded herself in the backseat next as the driver took off, having already known where she was headed. 

The drive was quiet save for a few questions here and there. Tourist questions that she should have been asking him. 

'What's Cali like? How longed 'cha stay there? Is it hot there? A lot of girls?' His thick New York accent made her smile with every question. It took her mind off of what was to come. When the interrogation had ended she sat in the back seat, practically curled in a ball.

This was scary.

What was she going to have to say this time? She didn't want an apology. She wanted a rewind. A do-over; like in elementary school when she played rock-paper-scissors and lost. To herself she had said that none of this was his fault. He took a drug and he got kinda crazy, then she scoffed. There was his first mistake right there. He took a drug. 

'And his friends almost raped you!' Caden looked at her driver, scared she had unconsciously said something out loud. He was watching the road, already braking for the oncoming traffic. She hadn't even noticed that they were already in the city. Her condo wasn't far now.

"So why'd you, eh, come here. To New York, I mean." Through his mirror Richard Zampanelli, he had told her his name but she hadn't been aware of retaining the information. "You a runaway bride or somethin'?" He laughed at his own joke. She did too.

"Yeah, something like that," she answered quietly. 

"Oh." Richard stopped laughing. "Well, this big city is good fa' stuff like that. Take ya mind off of-eh, what's his name?"

"Jon." Her answer was quick and a bit too loud for the cab. He looked up. "Jon," she repeated quieter this time. "And we weren't going to get married. We just, um, things just happen." Richard nodded. He pulled near to the sidewalk. "Well, we're here."

Caden glanced out the window before getting out the car. They were still in the city, a nice part of it. Condos surrounded both sides of the car and people walked their dogs and rushed out their buildings. 

"You're lucky; this is a nice place, here. You payin' for this on your own?" C.K. almost saw the dollar signs blind his eyes. "No," she replied. "I've got a roommate." Not that she needed one. "Oh." Richard finished unloading her bags onto the sidewalk, then brushed off his hands, on his jeans. "Well, it was nice meeting you, miss..." he fished for a name.

"Caden," she supplied.

Her smile was fake. Her heart pounded with anticipation for the message. Or maybe it was fear. She managed to embrace his hand in a firm handshake. "How much do I owe you?" she asked. Her hand reached into her back pocket back stopped at the feeling of warmth on her shoulder. Richard looked at her with sincere eyes. "You look like your having a rough day. A rough week even. Keep it. It's probably the last bit of kindness you'll see in this city."

This time Caden's smile was real and Richard returned it at the same amplitude. "Have a nice day," he said. 

Caden gathered her bags and stomped through the lobby to the elevators. Just as she thought, it was empty. The lobby cast a cold, grayish-blue color on everything. 

"I'll fit in perfectly," she told herself.

"Oh God, please don't tell me your Caden," A voice rang out from across the room. A tall man, semi-muscular stood, magazine in his hand. 

"Well, that's one hell of a greeting. Yeah, I am Caden." She confirmed. 

"Damn. It." He threw the magazine down, not caring where it landed and walked over to her. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Caden scrunched her eyebrows. "Well, yeah." He said, as if it were obvious. "You were talking to yourself."

Caden waited for the punch line, which either never came or was long gone. She gave a nervous laugh. 

"Is that it?"

He nodded rigorously. 

"You don't talk to yourself?"

"Of course I do but this is New York. I get a whole bunch of crazies applying as a roommate. My last roommate used to stay up at night until I went to sleep then come in the room and masturbate. My one before that used to walk around at five in the morning and talk to himself about calendars. And before that—"

Caden cut him off. She saw where this was headed. 

"Wait! No! I'm not crazy; I was just admiring the building." The elevator behind the man opened, stayed open, the closed. No one got off. Her roommate gave her a scrutinizing look. "Crazy people never know they are crazy. And besides, you're an artist."

Caden shrugged. 

She hated being called that. 

"I'm a photographer. You only call someone an artist when they deserve to be called that. I'm just trying to make my way." The man's face softened. 

"Yeah, you must be crazy," his voice had gone down an octave. He gave a smile to let her know he was kidding. She returned it out of sincerity. "Okay, well now that that's finished-" he took her bags "- I'm Gabriel. I live in the same apartment as you, of course, and I don't like noise when I'm not invited to help make it."

Caden kept a steady pace with him, despite his long strides. When they reached the elevators, he turned to her. "Oh my God," he leaned down, close to her face, looking deeply into her eyes. "Are those real?"

"No, they're glass." She made sure to keep her face completely emotionless for a few seconds before laughing. "Of course they're real." Gabriel was laughing too. "You have gorgeous eyes. So bright. Like one of those African American movie stars that are so pretty but you never see what lab they came from. Hollywood swears they are born just like you and me." He glanced at her as they stepped on the elevator before the doors even completely opened. "Well, me, maybe not you." 

Caden couldn't help but smile. This guy was adorable. Up close he looked less muscular, which was surprising. He had a slim build but not too slim. She could see the muscles from under his polo shirt but they weren't bulging. His eyes were a regular brown and his hair matched. In the front it was spiked up to a semi-Mohawk. 

"By the way, because you are hot—"

"Thank you."

"-We are going to have to set some ground rules. Where are you from?"

"California."

He mumbled to himself. "Okay, good. I won't have to worry about the 'big city life, small country girl' promiscuity faze."

The elevator doors opened. Caden hadn't even realized a button was pressed. They were on the thirteenth floor. 

Gabriel exited, Caden followed. "I knew you talked to yourself," she said. He through her a crooked smile over his shoulder then continued talking. 

"Ground rules. One: You're hot. Those eyes are definitely working for you and your shape is perfection and I love your style. Therefore, I wouldn't doubt if you have some midnight guests coming by. Please, please, please, just try to keep the bumping and grinding to a minimum. In volume not in quota. You look like a growing girl, I won't deprive you completely." Caden smiled and nodded as he continued down the list, speaking quickly

"Two: I'm gay." He stood there as if waiting for the firing squad. Caden stood there staring at him. She gave him a look that said, 'and?'

"Great! Now that I know you're not homophobic. I have a lot of guy friends. Mostly gay- some semi-gay- and we throw a lot of parties. Any parties that I have you are invited to and a little bird told me that you were only, what? Eighteen? That's fine. Get trashed. Just please, puke in el bano."



It was an hour before Gabriel finished laying down his ground rules. Finally Caden was alone and she took refuge on a red couch in her new room. She looked around, stalling time before taking out her phone. The room was exactly what she needed. The wall nearest the outside window was brick and lined with art. The other three walls were painted white with various markings etched and painted in. The small couch she lounged in faced the window and on the other side of the room was a tire swing dangling from the ceiling. Gabriel had explained that the room was large enough to fit one hundred and ten people, shoulder to shoulder, therefore it was large enough for her to swing should she feel the need. And, yes, he had added, it can hold up to about one hundred and seventy pounds so it won't break when she sat down on it.

Her phone beeped, reminding her that she still had a message that was yet to be read. She removed it from her back pocket and stared it. She couldn't lie-she was scared. Not scared of who the message was from but scared of what it said. She knew who sent it. She didn't even have to guess. 

 Jon.

Deity had most likely spilled the beans about her flight out of Cali and Jon was either furious or upset. Boldly, she pressed the voicemail button on her phone. She waited a few second before putting it up to her ear. 

"Please enter your password," the electronic voice commanded. C.K. didn't. She held the phone to her ear listening to the noise in the background. The slight static.

"Are you still there? Please enter your password." This time she did, taking three second breaks before pressing the next number in the sequence. "You have one unheard message." Caden took a breath, letting it out shakily. "First message." 

Jon's voice came through a quick silence over the phone. 

"Cay? Baby, please tell me I just imagined this and you are really over at someone's house or something. New York, Cay? Jesus, why? Damn it, I know why but Cay I'm sorry. I don't know what happened after I passed out but I'm apologizing. I asked Michael what happened but he said nothing...Jesus, I can't believe you left without telling me. God..." 

There was a silence and Caden was scared that he was crying. When he came back his voice was cracked and hoarse. 

God, please don't let him be crying.

"I love you. I never said it and I know when people are around I never acted like it but I do. I need you like...Jesus-like I need air. This is all my fault, I know. Kitten, just come back, please. I'll fucking write it on the walls." He shouted his next three words. "I love you! And I do. Just come—" 

The message ended and the electronic voice cut in. Caden deleted the message without hesitation and closed her phone. 

Tears that she hadn't known formed began to fail. 

'I love you!' he had shouted. Caden reached for a red pillow, pulling it under her. She let her tears fall onto it turning the fabric a dark crimson. 

'I refuse to let you regret this," she told herself. 'You're better than this, Cay. It shouldn't take you leaving for him to realize how he feels.' She swiped at a tear that was bothering her temple. 'You're no better, Caden,' she reprimanded. 'The only time you told him the truth-told him you loved him, was when you were drunk.

This was exactly why she came to New York. She had come to escape her past. Her dead father, depressed mother, reckless sister were a thing of her past until she was ready to face it.

As of right, she wasn't ready to face anyone.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Your little slut!"

Deity threw another pillow at her sister. "I refuse to believe that you, went somewhere with Jon and sat in his car with him. Just sat! And you talked but was that before or after you—" Caden laughed throwing the pillow right back at her sister, hitting her in the head, making her laugh harder. 

They sat spread across the expanse of the room; Deity on her bed and Caden on the elongated window sill. "C'mon!" she cried out again. "Tell me please! What did you do?" She rolled over on her back letting her head dangle over the edge. Her curly black hair fell halfway to the floor. Caden looked at her sister and smiled. She glanced back outside. 

"You know for someone who has been under house arrest and hates it so much, you're spending quite a bit of time inside." Deity threw another pillow and this time Caden was ready for it. She caught it and put it under her. 

"Just answer the question. You swear to God you guys didn't have sex or touch or even kiss?" Deity had rolled back on to her stomach and was staring at her sister hard. When Caden didn't answer, Deity began laughing. "You did!" she accused. 

"We didn't! Keep your fucking voice down. We have guests downstairs."

Deity rolled her black eyes. Jon, Collin, Shane, and Eliza were downstairs helping Candice with any and everything she needed. Despite Candice's protests they continued to fetch her drinks, make her food, and clean the house all day. 

'I'm not crippled,' she had yelled. 'I'm just diabetic.'

Just as Candice was being served so were the Kristoff-Winter girls. Deity's house arrest had ended over a week ago and she still continued to stay in the house. On more than one occasion Shane had gone up to her and asked if she wanted to see a movie or get dinner. Her answer had been the same every time: 'Why the fuck would I want to be seen anywhere with you, asshole? You're a cop, the enemy. If anyone found out that I was with you in anyway, do you know how bad that would make me look?'

'Give him a chance,' Collin had pleaded. 'Shut up,' she had replied, going upstairs. But, to Caden's joy, Dee had agreed to come with her to her auction tonight. It wasn't long but it was definitely a black tie affair. C.K.'s. photographs were being sold with some of the best in Cali. If she wanted to get more money, she had to, for once, look like she had some. Deity had hopped on the chance at a girl's night out with her sister.

"What was up with you and Shane earlier?" Caden asked, trying to make her question seem innocent. Deity looked up from the ruffles on her pillow that she was entertaining herself with. "What do you mean?" Caden shrugged, posing the question in an even lighter, more conversational tone. 

"Why don't you want to be seen with him? Shane's a nice guy. He's cute. He's sweet. He's funny; you know that."

Deity sighed. She pulled her pillow under herself forcefully, as if telling her sister her own views was an upsetting task. "C.K., he's a cop. A pig. He fucking—"

"Language"

"Sorry. He arrested me. This isn't even the first time; it's like the third"

"So? The charges have been dropped, thanks to him. You're being so stubborn." Caden knew hearing those magic words would set her sister off. That was kind of the idea. 

"Yeah," Dee bristled. "Well, maybe acting stubborn will do me some good. Maybe if I stay like this, you'll leave me alone about it. I don't want him. He wants a fucking romance. He wants a wife and nine kids. I don't. I want to live my life. I want to have fun. I don't even want romance. The only thing I want from a man is his dick, then I'm good and he can leave." Deity had risen off the bed. She stood in front of her sister arms open, trying to get her point across. Caden shook her head. 

"He's not looking for marriage, just a night out with you. And I know that's not what you want. That's what Ray wanted from you. A good fuck. A great time with no string attached, but he didn't get that. You wanted romance, and there is nothing wrong with that, but he didn't. So he told you he loved you so you would get into bed with him. It's okay though, Dee, he's gone," Caden felt like crying but she didn't.

Her eyes stayed dry and firmly planted on her sister's face. Deity slouched down next to her, sobs racking her shoulders. Caden didn't touch her. "Someone told me, not to long ago, that people like us...we need to learn the difference between people who love us and people who will say that to get in our bed. There's nothing wrong with us. We just love. And we do it too well." 

Deity looked up at her sister. Defiance mixed with tears contorted her features. "No, you're wrong. I don't love," Dee whispered. "I don't and you know I don't. Look where 'love' has gotten you. Jason's gone-" she looked around for emphasis "-I don't see him anywhere. So what do you have? Jon used you. He fucked your brains out and the denied it all. That's where love gets people." 

Caden heard the door open across the room but didn't look back.

"Are you two alright?" Jon asked, quietly. "I heard yelling. Do I need to be a referee for something?" There was a smile in his voice but none of the girls could see him. They glared at each other hard; Deity's eyes stained and red with tears while Caden's gray eyes stayed clear. "Do you think he cares about you? Honestly?" Deity asked, pointing to the man that had entered the room. "Huh? So what? You're single. Time to move to the next, huh, big sis? How are you going to try and reprimand me about my love life when you can't even keep yours steady?" 

Jon took a step forward but Deity turned her glare on him. "Don't," she warned. "Don't say anything. You don't have to." She grabbed a jacket from of the ground next to her. "I'm leaving." She stomped out of the room leaving a tense silence behind her. 


"Cay, what happened?" Jon asked. She felt his warmth near her leg as he kneeled down next to her. He put a hand under her chin in an attempt to meet her gaze but she turned away. "How did this happen?" He asked. He tried to lift her chin again only to have his hand slapped away. 

"Leave me alone." She said. Her voice was heavy with monotony. Jon stayed where he was. Caden turned to him. Her gray eyes seemed empty and hurt and Jon wouldn't be surprised if she felt both of those. Deity was a piston with her words. She could say things that would make even the pope consider suicide. 

"I'm serious," she practically mouthed. Jon didn't budge. Caden did, however. With swift arms she pushed him out the way and walked over him, exiting the room. 

The downstairs section of the house was alive with laughter and talking. Caden walked briskly through the hallways, following the sounds of joy that echoed. "Has anyone seen, Deity?" Caden asked. 

Her walk into the kitchen had been silent and Eliza proved so when she jumped, startled. Shane rose form his seat at the kitchen table. Caden calmed him with a quick shake of her head. "We were talking and she stormed out." Jon walked into the kitchen, leisurely. "More like arguing." He hid his head behind the door of the freezer that he opened quickly. Caden looked back at Shane. He seemed apprehensive.

"Not, over me," he mouthed. Caden nodded. He let out a deep sigh, sinking back down into his chair. He was thinking the same thing she was. 

They weren't going to find her. Not unless they—

The sudden understanding dawned on both Shane and Caden at the same time, and they ran for the door, both hands on the doorknob, swinging it open. Deity stood outside, arms folded, as a black jeep pulled up. She didn't look when Deity and Shane came crunching out on the gravel even though Caden was sure she heard their approach. 

"Where are you going?" Caden asked. She didn't make it obvious that she was more concerned than she let on. Deity shifted her weight on her feet. "Who is that, you're leaving with?" This time her voice had more of an edge to it. The jeep stopped directly in front of the three. Deity didn't move. The door popped open and Caden wasn't the least bit surprised at who walked over. 

"Ray," she acknowledged, quietly. He stopped directly in front of her. His dark eyes glowered at her with hatred. He had gotten taller since the last time Caden had seen him. Like everyone else he towered over her but instead of being skinny was built of pure muscle. His black hair was a perfect match to his tan Native American skin. He kept his hair long, almost half way done to his shoulders, and it looked great on him. If C.K. ever had to, she would admit that he was a good looking guy, but never to his face. "You came out here to stop me from taking your sister?" He asked, disrespect weighing heavily in his words. 




A Gray Area Ch. 13



"Actually, no. I came out here to stop her from going with you." 

Ray's black eyes turned to Deity and she shifted her weight uncomfortably, avoiding his gaze. "Are you still coming?" he asked. "I'm not gonna fight with your sister and-" he looked at Shane "-this fucking cop. Not right now. I have better things to do. So either get in the fucking car or don't call me and waste my time again." Caden looked at her sister, purposely pressuring her decision. Deity glanced at Shane, who was glowering at Ray. Ray returned the hard look, unafraid, despite his and Shane's weight and height difference. 

"I'll go with you," she declared walking over to the jeep. Ray gave Caden and triumphant smile. He turned and walked back to his jeep, hopping in. 

"Don't worry, detective. I'll tell you how the pussy is." He yelled out the window. Shane made an attempt to lunge for Deity's side door but Jon was there in an instant holding him back. 

Deity was in the car when she looked at her sister. 

"Don't look at me like that," she said quietly to C.K.'s disapproving stare. "Don't come crying to me when he breaks your ribs and collarbone again." Her older sister retorted. Deity's lips curled into a frown. 

"Then you don't fucking cry to me when his friends try to rape you again and he spills all your dirty little secrets." Ray didn't wait for Caden's reply. He was off and out the gate in an instant. 

"What?" she heard Jon say from behind him. 

"What did she say?" Jon's warm palms gripped her forearm but instead of giving off warmth, they burned. She jerked away from him. "Caden, what the hell was she talking about? Who tried to rape you? Was it that night with Cal, Todd and Michael?" Caden diverted her eyes but Jon followed them promptly. 

"Tell me, Caden," his voice was a stern warning that said something was going to happen. If she told the truth, action would be taken. Over her shoulder she saw Shane and Eliza watching the scene unfold before them. Caden felt her cheeks burn hot. 

She loved Eliza and Shane, Shane especially, but this wasn't something she was ready for him to know. She was even ready for Jon to know. He gripped her shoulders and shook her once. "Caden—" "It's nothing" she clarified, breaking the contact buy stepping away. She continued to back up. C.K. put her hands in her pocket and shrugged, still backing up. "It's nothing. I'm, uh-I'm gonna head home." Her voice was quiet but by the look on Jon's voice she was sure he heard. "Kitten, don't do this. Tell me," he demanded, not following but yelling the farther away she got. "It's nothing," she whispered again, turning and walking straight through the gate towards her car. 

Her embarrassment weighed down heavily on her shoulders, making the ride home difficult and painful. Every so often her eyes would fill up with tears. Home was only a couple minutes away and yet she couldn't make it without shedding a few tears. She pulled over on a side road and suck down in her seat, sobbing. Violently she banged he head on the steering wheel, carefully avoiding the horn. 

'I can't believe you forgot that Jon doesn't know. How could you not tell him? You didn't tell him because nothing happen...they didn't rape you, only tried.' She continued the argument in her head, going back and forth. 'It doesn't matter that they didn't get the chance to, it's the idea that they tried. What is he going to think of me now? Who cares what he thinks? '

"...I do."

The inside of C.K.'s condo was cold. She had forgotten to turn the air off and left it full blast from that morning. She flipped off her shoes and grabbed the phone before flopping down on the couch. She pressed speed dial and listened to the awkward melody the phone made while dialing. 

Without having to pull it, her blanket fell almost perfectly across her body and Caden took a familiar shape, curled up in a ball. The person on the other line picked up. "Hello?" The friendly Irish lilt made C.K. forgot why she felt so bad. 

"Hey Mol," she greeted. 

"Oh Caden! I was worried. Where are you?" Caden had hoped to have a semi-interesting conversation with her agent before having to break her heart. 

"I'm at home, Mol. I can't make it tonight... I'm really sick and I'm sorry. You know I wouldn't miss this for the world but you're always good at covering for me. Next time you nee—" 

"Don't worry, Cady-girl." Molly assured her voice sincere. Caden felt a wave of peace pass-over her body. Molly was always so good at making her feel better. 

"Are you sure?" C.K. only planned to ask once. She didn't want to push her luck.

"Of course, I'm sure. Your mom just got out of the hospital; you are going through a lot right now. I'll cover for you and I'll call you in the morning to give you juicy gossip and numbers." Molly gave an evil laugh which helped Caden slide on out too. "Alright, darling. Go to bed."

'Thank you, Molly." On the other side of the line Molly scoffed. "Oh, hush. Go to bed." And she disconnected. Caden nestled into the sheets, not bothering to adjust the thermostat. Her blanket was large enough and she didn't have to worry about any pets in the condo that would fall asleep forever.

Caden felt as if she could do that. Her muscles had became lethargic during her phone conversation and she didn't feel like moving, didn't feel like doing anything. Especially not thinking but an unbidden thought came to her mind. A thought that, no matter how uninvited, was still very much welcome. She thought of Jon and his hazel eyes and smile. She thought about him today. She thought about when he reached under chin and looked into her eyes in Deity's room and outside. His soul-searching eyes that she hated and loved at the same time. Right now she loved them. Loved the warmth the memory of them carried. Caden curled up deeper into her couch and fell into the memory of his eyes. 

She was asleep in a matter of minutes.



A Gray Area Ch. 14



Caden heard the phone ringing. She had been hearing the phone's ring since that afternoon but had ignored it effortlessly. She turned over on her couch and stared at her DVD clock. It was eight at night. She had slept through the day, getting up a few times to use the bathroom, and then had gone right back to her bed on the couch, restlessly turning for a few hours trying to find a comfortable position. 

Her phone began ringing again and this time her pursuer let it go all the way to her answering machine. She sighed, waiting for her mother's voice reprimanding her. Instead she heard Shane's warm voice, "You figure you would learn your lesson the first time something happened and you didn't answer your phone, but count on Cady not to pick up. So should I play weak and powerless to get you to answer? Okay, hold on, I'll do it. "He took a deep breath. On the couch, Caden smiled in anticipation. She had never heard the man even pretend to be helpless so this would be good. "Ouch," he said. The monotony of the statement made her bust out laughing. "Ouch. Caden, my arm has just been cut off. Oh, ow. Help. Please call me back before I die." He continued his monotonous ranting for another few seconds before the machine beeped, cutting him off. Caden rushed to the bathroom pressing the save button on the way in. She had laughed so hard she thought her bladder was gonna burst.

Quietly scrutinizing, Cady watched herself in the bathroom mirror while she washed her hands. Her light chocolate skin looked dark in the bathroom light. Her new hair cut looked untidy and stuck up in all different directions but still, strangely, suited her. Her gray eyes seemed tired. She had slept probably more than what was necessary for a normal day. Her jeans looked ruffled. She had gone straight to sleep after arriving home last night and hadn't bothered to even change her clothes. She dried her hands on her jeans and stripped them off, leaving them on the bathroom floor. She would take care of them later. Her stomach growled in agreement as she made her way down the hallway towards the kitchen. As she passed the kitchen, the phone rang again and she picked it up in a smooth motion. 

"Can we save the arm?" Caden asked, not needing to check the caller ID or ask who it was. Shane laughed on the other line. "Yes, yes. The arm can be saved. No thanks to you, of course." Caden removed the mayo, mustard, lettuce, and turkey from the fridge and set it noisily on the counter. "I was having a relaxing day. Sorry 'bout the arm."

"I'll live. Any word from Deity?" He asked, getting to the point. Caden dropped the knife she had pulled out and it barely missed her feet. "Fuck!" she yelled. "No," she replied, bringing it back up. "No, have you?" She sighed.

No. He hadn't. And he wasn't going to. 

Deity wouldn't call until something went really wrong. Until she was halfway dead in a ditch or knocked-up on the other side of the country. She was independent by nature but Caden didn't feel the need to remind Shane of that.

"Just give her time."

"What were you two talking about when she left?" He asked.

"You. I was asking her why she wouldn't go out with you, just once. A movie and dinner."

Shane waited a second before asking his next question. "What did she say?"

"She said you were the enemy. You arrested her and she doesn't want to be with someone that she doesn't know she can trust." Caden slapped some mayo on the bread of her sandwich. She threw on a few slices of turkey and a lot of lettuce. "You don't have to play matchmaker with me and her. If I'm not what she once then...I hope she finds someone that she wants."

Caden lifted her sandwich, caught a few falling pieces of lettuce, then shoved a whole corner into her mouth. Shane waited patiently for her to swallow. "I will never understand how you stay skinny," He murmured.

"Shane," she addressed him finally. "She's still young. Almost ten years your junior. Your partying hormones are gone. You're ready to settle down. Dee isn't. She wants something different than you. She wants... she just doesn't want a relationship." She filled her mouth with another big bite while Shane talked. "I'm not looking to settle down and marry her-" a small silence passed "-yet. I just want her to be safe and with someone that cares about her. Caden you see how she is. She'll be dead by the time she's 25 at this rate. I'm pretty sure the only drug she hasn't done is heroine and God forbid she gets over her fear of needles." 

"I tr—" The loud chime of the doorbell echoed throughout the condo, cutting of C.K.'s sentence. "Someone's at your door." Shane said. Caden scoffed, setting down her sandwich. "Nu uh. I would have never known. Thanks." She walked to the front door, peeping through the hole. It was black. "If you're outside my door," she warned. She flipped the lock and opened it halfway, exposing only her upper body. "I'm going too—Jon." Shane laughed on the other line. Caden stood frozen at the door, letting it swing open completely. Jon stood with two bags in his arms. One plastic and the other paper. Instead of his eyes meeting her gaze, they drifted down to her bare legs. He looked his fill barely making an attempt to avert his eyes. Finally his eyes met hers, cloudy with something that she didn't want to name. "Spider man," he said, his voice husky. Caden burned with embarrassment. She grabbed the door pulling it in front of her lower body. 

"Hey, let me call you back." She said to Shane. He was still laughing, not being able to see what was going on, but knowing.

"You better," he warned. Caden went to push the button when she heard him yell. "What?" She asked, putting it back to her ear.

"I really didn't call to talk about Dee. I called about that rape thing she mentioned." Caden sighed. "Alright." She groaned trying to talk over him but his deep tenor still overpowered hers. "And you are going to call me back and you are going to tell me what that was about." 

"Bye, Shane." She hung up before he could add anything. Jon still stood looking at her, a small smile playing on his perfect lips. Caden put up her index finger, silently asking for a minute. Jon nodded. Caden left him at the door for a second then came back. "Actually I need to shower, why don't you come in here and just make yourself at home." Caden ran from the door this time, sprinting into her hallway then into the bathroom. Over the bathroom fan she heard the front door slam and Jon set down his bags. 

C.K. stripped off her shirt and bra, tossing it next to her jeans. She stared at herself in the mirror. "You just had to wear the Spider Man ones." She criticized herself, poking at the elastic of her little boy's underwear. She hated feminine panties. Ever since she had been a teenager she favored little boy's underwear. They had always made her feel sexy, simply because her butt actually looked big in them. 

'Jon likes Iron Man' she reminded herself. 'You should have worn the Iron man ones.' But she didn't hold it against herself. How was she supposed to know he was going to show up? She dropped her panties and hopped into the shower, turning the water on as hot as it will go.

C.K. made sure not to shower long. She scrubbed quickly but thoroughly and came out, not wanting to keep her unexpected guest waiting. Her stomach growled uncontrollably as she threw on some new clothes. This time she made sure to wear her Iron Man underwear, just for her own reassurance. Caden sat down on her bed when she finished. Outside Jon wasn't trying to hide the fact that he was walking around, looking at the art that she had just put back on her walls. The art that Jason had hated. 

"Where did you get this one from?" he called out, knowing she was in her room. That was her cue. It was time for her to come out and entertain; never mind the butterflies that hit the walls of her stomach. "Which one?" She asked checking herself in the mirror again before walking out to meet him in the living room.

He stood in front of Caden's favorite picture, glaring at it, scrutinizing it. She came beside him, looking at it. He glanced at her and she returned it, a proud smile on her lips. "A man in central park painted it." She explained, folding her arms. "He said he painted it thirty years ago and to this day no one ever bought it." She shrugged when he turned to her. "I loved it. Still to this day can't figure out why no one bought it."

Caden walked leisurely into the kitchen, continuing the conversation as she opened the paper bag he brought. 

Chinese food. 

Thank the Lord. 

She was starving. Beyond starving. Ravenous. Her turkey sandwich had done nothing to sate her appetite. "I got general Tso's chicken and fried rice. The egg foo yung is mine." When Caden lifted it from the bag he walked over, taking it from her hands. "What's in the plastic one?" Caden took a peak and smiled. "Peanut butter Cups Ice Cream....my favorite." Jon shrugged. He moved into the kitchen and leaned up against the wall next to the fridge. She covered the ice cream back up.

"So, what brings you here?" She placed the ice cream in the freezer. 

"Visiting. Are-" he chuckled to himself "- are you wearing pants under that?" 

Caden looked down at herself. She had thrown on a large sweater that barely went mid-thigh. She answered him by lifting up the sweater to show yellow shorts. Really short shorts. Jon laughed again to himself. He walked into the kitchen and a small squeak let her know he had taken a seat on her couch. She grabbed her food along with a fork and joined him. He had already dug into his egg foo yung.

"Someone's hungry," she taunted, giving him a playful smile before taking a bite of her chicken. The tangy sauce was a relief to the bland taste of her sandwich that still lingered in her mouth. She chewed for longer than what was needed and shoved a few forkfuls of fried rice in with the chicken, uncaring that Jon was sitting next to her. Well, she hadn't cared until she looked up and saw him watching her, his hazel eyes carrying a smile. 

"Someone's hungry," he said quietly. His egg foo yung was set aside on the coffee table along with his cop sticks and he watched her intently, a small smile tugging at his lips. 

Caden opened her mouth to speak, forgetting that she had shoveled a few forkfuls of good in her mouth, and began coughing on a grain of rice. Jon leaned forward, eager to help but she held up a shaky hand. 

"I'll be alright," she rasped out in between a few more coughs. "It's just rice." She took a few cautious breaths, hands gripping her neck, face half way down on the couch. 

One Breathe.

Two. Three. She was alright. Jon placed his hand on her back and began languidly rubbing back and forth. The warmth from his hand radiated through her whole body. 'God, what kind of idiot chokes on a grain of rice?' She asked herself. Her face, still inches away form the seat of the couch, burned hot. 

"Cady?" Jon asked. She could feel his warm breath on her ear and it was then she realized that she was keeled over on her couch. She looked as if she was having bad cramps. 

"What?" Caden straightened up, looking in right in the eyes as if nothing had happened. Jon flashed his teeth in a half mouth smile. "Nothing. You just stopped breathing. I got worried."

Brilliant. Her face burned hotter. "I was rubbing your back and I didn't feel you exhale." 

'That's because I didn't," she wanted to say. She had hoped that if she stopped breathing she could stop time too. Maybe he would keep touching her. "Maybe I should lay off the Chinese for a few minutes." Jon took her plate for her lap before she could finish her sentence. He reached down and brushed away a few stray grains of rice that hung by her shirt. "Oh my God, I'm a fucking idiot," she murmured. Jon laughed and continued brushing. He took special care not to brush down into her lap where the rest of the rice had slipped but he looked at her. 

She knew he was considering it. He knew she knew. "I'm gonna change my shirt." She whispered. Cady stood up only to be pulled back down. "Leave it," he told her, equally as quiet as her own voice. Caden held her breath again as his hazel eyes captured her gray ones. God, if he was looking into her soul, what did he see? Could he tell what she was feeling? 

He was so close, she realized. When the blonde haired boy had pulled her down he had pulled her practically into his lap. If he leaned any closer to her he would definitely be invading her personal space-not that she would mind.

"You alright now?" He asked, voice still just above a whisper. Caden nodded because it was all she could do. "Good." He looked down at her lips, then back at her eyes. His warm hands brushed a few misplaced strands of her out of her face. "Good." He mouthed and leaned forward, invading her personal space just like she hoped he would.

"Ms. Kristoff?" A loud bang at her front door made her jump away from Jon, just as the heat of his lips met with hers. 

Jon pulled away from her reluctantly and sat looking at the door, as if daring it to make another sound. It did. Louder this time. 

"Ms. Kristoff, are you there?"

Caden sighed. Of all the fucking times-"It's my freaking landlord." She cleared the back of the couch.

"You have a landlord?" She heard Jon asked as her fingers closed around the doorknob. "Yup—" she opened the door, plastering a huge fake smile on-"Mrs. Fentonheim. What a pleasu—"

"Save it, girly." Mrs. Fentonheim was the exact definition of bitter. Not only did her tone of voice show it but also the way she carried herself. Her gray hair was plastered neatly to her wrinkled scalp and her clothes were dirty with what could have been spaghetti sauce or blood. 

She pushed herself passed Caden, not even bothering to ask for permission to enter. Her eyes scouted the living room, suspiciously. "What's that smell?" Mrs. Fentonheim asked. She gave a few animalistic sniffs that made Jon smile. Behind her Caden mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' when he looked at her. Jon shrugged, telling her it was no problem.

Fentonheim looked back at Caden and the younger girl straightened up. "What's that smell?" she asked again, hobbling over to where Cady stood, with her fake smile still neatly set. "Chinese food, Mrs. Fentonheim. Would you like some?"

Of course the hag didn't want any; she could barely digest her own spit without having a massive coronary. Caden's smile became real as the unbidden thought ran through her head. It was rude, yes, but how dare she interrupt perfection in the making. He had almost kissed her. And God only knows what that could have led to; would have led to.

Jon walked up to Fentonheim and extended a hand. "Nice to meet you, Ma'am. I'm Jon." Fentonheim gave Jon a thorough once over then did the same for Caden. C.K. knew that look. She knew it well and she knew what was coming. Fentonheim opened her mouth-here it came.

"You know back in my day, this wasn't permitted." There it was. Jon looked up at Caden, giving her a puzzled look. "What wasn't permitted?" He asked. C.K. gave him a hard look. She turned to the bitter old woman. "Mrs. Fentonheim, maybe you should get going—"

"This." The old women's fingers varied positions from the north to the south, indicating the two that stood around her. Caden tried again to guide her landlord out but Jon cut in.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but what is 'this'?"

"Jon—" Cady tried again.

"This! Black and White. Back when I was a girl it was frowned upon as it still should be." She turned to Caden who stood with her hands in the pockets of her invisible short shorts. She gave the girl a thorough once over again before continuing. "You should stick to your own race and leave ours alone."

Caden sounded exasperated when she spoke this time. "I'm sorry you feel that way but maybe you should get going. It's kind of late. Thank you for coming over but why did you come by?"

The old lady threw a thick pile of envelops on the floor at Caden's feet. "I brought your mail. Try not to leave it down at the front desk for a month next time- what would your parents say to you, young man, if they saw you here with...her?" Fentonheim's attention had shifted so quickly that C.K. hadn't even realized she wasn't being spoken to anymore.

"Nothing." Jon answered. The defiance in his voice was thick. His arms were folded across his chest. "They wouldn't say anything because they aren't living in the eighteen hundreds like you, ma'am." The comment seemed not to faze the older woman. "Well your family didn't raise you right. This is America. They should have taught you good American values."

"Good American values like what?"

"Like not cavorting around with someone that isn't of our race."

Jon smiled, but it was bitter. Caden felt his anger reach a boiling point. She knew he hated racism. This conversation was not going to end pretty, she could already see that.

"Not cavorting with people that aren't our race." He echoed. Fentonheim nodded firmly. She really believed in what she was saying and that made Caden sick to her stomach. This was not the first time she had had an encounter with the old woman's beliefs. Jason had gotten the same talk but less thoroughly. 

'Blacks and blacks; whites and whites; Latinos and Latinos; Asians and Asians and all those other races out there,' she had yelled at him. Jason had soaked it all in, not even caring for anything the landlord had to say. Jon on the other hand was taking this personally. It made Caden's heart warm. Was he defending his beliefs or his feelings for her?

'The latter of the two, I hope.'

"I hope to God you aren't fucking her." Fentonheim exclaimed. 

"Oh Jesus Christ," Caden murmured. "This is fucking ridiculous."

"What if I am?" Jon dared. He rocked back on the balls of his feet and gave bitter Fentonheim a challenging look. "What if every night, I come home from a hard day of work and fuck her right where you're standing." As if on cue, Fentonheim moved from her place. Fast. Faster than Caden thought possible for someone her age. "And what if I like it?" He added. His eyes met Caden's briefly but she felt her body heat from the look. For a second she felt lightheaded and dizzy. It took sheer will for her legs to not give out. 

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself." Fentonheim said. She looked disturbed. Deeply so. Her eyes turned to meet Caden's. "Both of you. You should beg for forgiveness to whatever god you pray to."

"Then please," Jon whispered, pushing the old woman out of his way, striding up to Caden. Long, purposeful steps. "Forgive me for this."

He pushed his body hard against Caden's and found her lips with the same amount of energy and pressure. His hands found their way in her hair and on her hips gripping her, roughly as his tongue forced itself into her mouth. She was caught of guard by the roughness and force of the kiss. She was caught of guard by the kiss itself. Still, slightly dazed, she allowed him entrance into her mouth and sighed against him just as his body relaxed and then broke away. He tore his lips from hers, not giving her enough time to even savor the feel of his. Jon held her gaze for longer than probably what was appropriate. The hazel depths left a promise that she couldn't decipher. But whatever it was, she wanted it. He looked away from her, meeting the startled and somewhat mortified gaze of Mrs. Fentonheim.

"How dare you." She whispered, almost mouthing the words. Jon's face curled into a smug smile. 

"I said forgive me."

Cady's landlord's eyes looked up and down the two of them and she reluctantly followed her gaze. 

He was still pressed against her. His body was tightly welded against hers, pushing her roughly into the wall. And dear God...she could feel him, hard as a rock. She looked back up at him, watching only his profile. He continued his challenging gaze at the older woman. She crumbled under the pressure. "You ought to be ashamed," she said again, and fumbled with the door, trying to make an escape.




A Gray Area Ch. 14



She seemed to be having difficulties so Caden said, "You turn it to the left to open it."

Bitter Fentonheim gave Caden a harsh grunt but followed her instructions, throwing open the door, stomping out and then slamming it shut.

The silence was appreciated yet tinged with awkwardness. 

Jon still stood pressed tightly to Caden's body. She was afraid to look at him even though the weight of his gaze bore down heavily on her. 

"Hey," he finally said. Hazel eyes searched for gray ones and Caden made it an exercise to avoid his stare. 

"Cady." Jon placed his fingers under her chin, directing her gaze to his. Caden felt her heart stop. "You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah." A lie. She wanted another kiss. More than anything she had ever craved or needed, she wanted another. One that meant something-not a demonstration. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She nodded rigorously for emphasis. "I'm just...your really close." Her words escaped as a whisper and it was then that she realized how quite it was around them. Fentonheim had left and made it down the outside stairs without a broken hip or heart attack. C.K.'s unsteady heartbeat was overly loud in her ears.

When Jon finally spoke, his words were also too loud, despite their tentative whisper. "Are you uncomfortable?"

"No. Actually I'm really comfortable."

Jon smiled. "You don't mind if we stay like this for a while? It's awkward but it brings back memories. Wouldn't it be crazy if your dad just walked in and told us to use a condom?"

Caden laughed but her cheeks burned with embarrassment. That memory still haunted her. "I was embarrassed. I never wanted to look my dad in the eyes again." Jon laughed this time and the sound made Cady want to throw caution to the wind and kiss him. She almost did.

And he saw. His hand traveled to her cheek, stroking the creamy skin there. This was becoming too much for her. He was teasing her. "Please kiss me again," she begged. The horrified expression she had feared never crossed his face. Instead a soft smile tugged at the end of his lips. "I want you to mean it though. Don't show off. Mean it."

"How do you know I didn't mean it before? Fentonheim just happened to be here." Their foreheads met. Jon's warm breath tickled her nose and lips, and smelled of Chinese food. Caden didn't care.

"Did you?" She asked, carefully. Jon answered with a soft, quick kiss. Almost a peck but deeper. When he pulled away, Caden followed, like a thirsty man craving a drink. She barely had the taste of him in her mouth but she wanted more. Jon pushed her back and laughed quietly. He let their foreheads touch again and Caden's breath came out in quick gasps.

She wanted him so bad. "Stop teasing me." 

Jon moved his hand from her cheek to her hair, burrowing deep. "Who's teasing?" He popped another kiss.

"Jon," she whined. Another kiss. "I hate you," she whispered. Another kiss. And this time she laughed when he pulled away. "I hate you," she said again in between giggles. She was thoroughly frustrated. Almost reaching the point of insanity. Jon laughed too, knowing exactly how she felt. "

"I'm sorry," he apologized finally. This time when he leaned in for a kiss, it was sincere. His warm lips touched hers gently and his tongue immediately pushed through, playing lightly with hers.

'This is perfect,' Cady thought, her mind clouding heavily with bliss. If she never got anything for the rest of her life, she would be content with a kiss from him. She could feel him again, through his jeans, pressed tightly against her short shorts and the feeling almost drove her crazy. Her hands moved from their awkward position at her side to his chest, where she played with the buttons of his shirt. Stealthy hands felt their way under her shirt and up to her bra, giving her a quick squeeze, and Caden gasped, breaking away from his lips.

"Should I wait and ask for permission like I had to when we were younger?" His breath was warm when it whispered into her ear. She shuddered when his lips trailed down her neck, leaving small kisses in their wake. Caden arched her back, wanting to feel more. With the little bit of control left, Jon pulled himself away from Caden's skin to look in her eyes. Their gray tint had taken on a misty look and she returned his gaze with so much energy he almost lost it. 

"Can I take this off?" His fingers plucked at the end of her sweater. Caden smiled at his eagerness. She nodded, raising her arms into the air. Just as Jon went to pull her sweater of her body a familiar tone swept through the house, shattering the silence. Jon's head fell against Caden's chest in disgust. Caden cursed. 

She knew that song. 

She knew that ring tone. The band was calling. Fuck.

Jon muttered an apology as he dragged himself over to the couch and searched for his cell phone. When he found it he flipped it open aggressively. 

"What?" His tone was harsh. Caden smiled from the other side of the room. "Are you kidding me?" A pause. "Are you fucking kidding me?" Caden walked over to him. She took a seat on the back side of the couch. "Jesus effing Christ, guys. How did this happen?" Jon glanced at Caden and the down at her exposed leg. His hand trailed down to her thigh and he ran his knuckles up and down the skin. She found his hand with hers and held it. He looked at her again with a smile. "Alright. Alright. Alright! I'll be there in fiv—" Another pause. "I said I'll be there in five-It doesn't matter where I'm coming from. I'll be there." His shut his phone. Caden smiled at him despite the bad news she knew she was going to receive.

"I have to go." There it was. Caden sighed. "I figured that. Tell me all about it later." Jon nodded and leaned in for a quick kiss that turned into a long one. Jon found himself back up against her body, her legs closed shyly. "I have to go," he said again, against her lips. Caden smiled and let him go. He pocketed his cell phone and looked at her. "We still have breakfast to do." Jon said as he walked backwards to the door. Caden hopped of the back of the couch and followed him. She nodded. Jon stopped.  

"Don't give me that look," he begged. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "I'm not him. I'm not Jason. If I say I'll be back, trust me-" he kissed her "-I will. Why would I want to miss this?" he clutched her cheek gently then let her go altogether. 

She watched with hovering disappointment as he walked out the door, closing it lightly behind himself. Cady stood still until the sound of his heavy footsteps disappeared from the air. When he was gone, she allowed the heavy feeling that had been threatening to fall come down on her.

She was sad. He had just left and already she...missed him.

How pathetic. 

And yet, if he were to walk back into her condo at that very moment she probably would be as happy as a child at Christmas. Caden walked back to her couch, plopping down on it. She touched a hand to her lips, reminiscing about how amazing his kiss had been. It had been so unexpected but so welcomed. 

And he said he would be back. 

A heavy buzzing noise echoed through the living room and Caden searched form her seat for the culprit. Another buzzing noise sounded. Caden stood up then sat back down and lunged over to the side table, grabbing her cell phone.

She sunk back down into the chair, flipping open the phone with her thumb. TEXT MESSAGE RECEIVED, it read.

Caden opened it.

FROM: Jon.

She held her breath as she read: Meet me in the park tomorrow at 9. Don't bring anything except a blanket and your beautiful eyes.

Cady smiled, girlishly and closed her phone. Already she was in too deep and for once...she couldn't bring herself to care.



A Gray Area Ch. 15



Cadent could swear on her life she was having an out of body experience. Everything had suddenly become so surreal. Well maybe not suddenly, but when Caden noticed it, the surrealism of the whole experience barred down on her like a sandbag. 

She had woken up early that morning, eager and fidgety for her morning breakfast with Jon. The warm shower she took didn't help to calm her nerves and she had to re-do her hair three times, burning herself on her flat iron each time. For as much trouble as she went through she had prayed the morning would be worth it. Collin had called as she stepped out the door, wishing her luck and balls, in the proverbial sense. 

Jon had been there before her, which was what she hadn't wanted. He had brought a red blanket and home cooked food was strewn across it in Tupperware containers and on plastic plates. For ten minutes she had picked though her food nervously before he took her plate and kissed her.

"Chill out," he had commanded softly. The rest of the morning had been filled with random kisses and walks around the park. They talked about anything and possibly everything. For an hour or two they dropped by Jon's mom's place and listened to her ramble on about women's rights and other fights she was blindly going after. For lunch they had gone to her favorite restaurant and sat had there till night.

Which brought her to where she was now.

She sat in Jon's car in the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart. The smell of burgers wafted through the air and made her stomach growl despite the fact that her cheeseburger lay open in front of her. She didn't want to eat. She barely even heard her stomach growl. Her mind was other places, focused on other things. 

One of those other things sat less then two feet away from her, crumpling up the wrapping from his burger and throwing it into the bag beside him. He glanced up at her and the surreal feeling that had been suffocating her ended abruptly.

Seeing that he was staring now, Caden began picking at her burger, pretending to have an appetite. 

"I'm sorry to have dragged you to my mom's house," he stated, he sounded genuinely apologetic and that bizarre feeling threatened to come up again. "Are your ears okay? I saw you rubbing them four hours into her lecture about the conspiracy against women in America." 

Caden smiled. She ripped off a piece of the hamburger bun and nibbled at it before saying, "Some of the things she had to say were actually pretty interesting. Your dad lost a valuable wife and encyclopedia."

Jon took the hamburger from her hands. "You don't have to eat it if you're not hungry." His voice was quite and it was then that she remembered that they were in the confines of the car. His very restricting car and if he felt the urge to lean in for a quick one, the only way to escape him would be to meld her head with the windshield. Cady cleared her throat before speaking again. "Today was nice-"Jon gave her a skeptical look, so she added "seriously. We should do it again sometime."

"Maybe next time I'll take you out somewhere fancy." His voice was quite. Caden nodded. "You don't have to. The way things were was fine." The car fell into silence before Caden shifted in her seat, feet to the back of the chair, back to the glove compartment. She could see him perfectly. The lighting from the parking lot spilled into the car, illuminating Jon's face on one side. 

"This is super cheesy but...this is nice. I like...being here in the car, just hanging out. It reminds me of the old days." It had taken her twenty seconds longer to say that than she had originally planned. She hated how nervous she sounded. Jon let his head lull back on the seat. "The old days..." he said in a sigh. 

"Should I stay quiet so you can reminisce?" 

For a second Jon stayed quiet, answering her question with silence but he smiled and looked up at her. "I'm not so sure if I really liked the old days." His answer was a shocker and she bore her emotion on her face. "You can't be that surprised to hear that."

"No, I really am. You were always out partying, doing the rich boy thing—"

"Oh, is that what it's called?"

"Ssh, lemme finish. You were always out partying and enjoying yourself. Drinking and drugs." Cady waited a tick before adding, "and sex."

Jon laughed out loud, catching Caden off guard. "You wanna hear a secret?" he asked, after calming himself down. 

With skeptical eyes, Cady replied, "I'm not sure..."

Jon sat up, moving closer to her. "I didn't have as much sex as you think I did."

"Really?" That was a genuine lie; it had to be. "So your telling me that you partied at some of the hottest spots in California, every night, might I add, and your dad, asshole he may be, is a very well-off man with a very well-off son that everyone knows-" She took a breath. "And you didn't get laid just about every night?" 

"No, I did get laid just about every night but not by random girls that I met at clubs, like you think. I had sex with one person, and you know who that one person is."

Caden was quiet as she stared in to Jon's serious hazel eyes. He looked as if he would kiss her but didn't. "Me." She mouthed the words softly, and her heart skipped a beat when he glanced down at her lips. "Yeah." He leaned in, slowly melding his lips with hers. His tongue battled with hers softly for supremacy, his hands found their way into her soft hair and behind her warm neck. 

God, she wanted more of this—this feeling of being free and unburdened by anything. The feelings that had been running rampant through her head, melted away with the first touch of his lips. Her thoughts were a soft void of nothing. Her stomach that had been doing flips earlier was still and for the first time that night, quiet. She allowed her muscles to relax, and as if Jon felt that he hoisted her over the gear shift and onto his lap. She made a soft noise as she settled over him, straddling his lap.

She could feel him settled perfectly between her legs and all at once her feelings returned to her and pooled hot in between her legs. She ground herself onto him and felt him strong and hard, constricted by his jeans. Jon released her mouth to allow a gasp to escape. His head lulled back on the chair and he breathed hard for a few seconds before raising himself back to look at her. 

"You are so beautiful." He couldn't have stopped himself from saying it even when they were mere thoughts in his brain. She did look beautiful, now, with her head slightly thrown back and eyes closed, trying her best to get close to him, and all the time-whether she was happy, sad or angry. 

Cady opened her eyes to him. She smiled, but the smile faltered when he raised his hips and ground himself into her. She parted her lips and a moan escaped. 

"We could leave..." Jon suggested. He sat up, pressing his lips against Caden's exposed neck. "Let's go to your condo, please." The hand that had been on her hips, keeping her steady, drifted under the dress she had put on this morning. He played with the seam of her panties before moving upwards to her breasts. Caden stifled a moan as Jon found her nipple through her thin bra and teased it. His lips found hers again and she moaned into them. "Please," he begged, still whispering.

A familiar tune broke out in the car, causing Cady to jump and bump her head on the roof of the car. "You cell phone's ringing..." he sounded disappointed. His head dropped onto his headrest, discouraged. She leaned into the seat over and pulled her cell phone from the side compartment.

"It's Collin" 

Jon nodded. His eyes were closed, trying to ignore the fact that every time Caden moved, she caused friction between herself and his crotch.

"Hello?"

There was mumbling from the other end.

"No, I'm at Wal-Mart." 

Jon smiled at her half lie.

"No, not really, why?" A moment of silence passed. "Is she okay?" Her voice was panicked and she shifted slightly off of Jon but still on him enough to cause a reaction. He closed his eyes again and took in a deep breath. "Please get off," He mouthed to her. She ignored him. 

"Are you sure? Alright, Alright....No, I can be there in te--...No! I will be there...don't worry about me." Caden pulled the phone from her ear and snapped it closed. "Can you take me to Delaney's?"

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up, slightly alert and still slightly hard. "Deity's there. Her and Ray are stirring up trouble. She just got off house arrest. If Shane gets there, he isn't gonna put up with any drama from her."

Jon nodded and helped Caden back into her seat with minimal contact with each other. 

Delaney's was unusually busy for a Thursday night. But of course the reason why people were all gathered outside wasn't because of open mic night. 

Jon parked in a no parking zone and got out, Caden right behind him. They pushed through the crowd to the middle and weren't surprised to see Deity and Ray, standing in front of each other. The expressions on their faces would scare Freddy Krueger. 

Caden took a protective step forward but a security guard stopped her. "What are you crowd control? That's my sister." She pushed through his hands and walked towards Dee. 

"Deity?" She walked up to her sister and touched her shoulder. Deity didn't even glance at her. "Are you okay?" C.K. asked. 

"What do you care?" Dee whispered. She took a step back from Ray. Then another, then another till she had backed up into the crowd. Now she looked at her sister. Her black eyes looked like coal, cold and lifeless. "You know I care, Dee."

"Do I now?" C.K.'s younger sister pushed through the crowd and started down the road. Collin, who had appeared out of nowhere, followed. Jon began walking and Caden shadowed him, trying to catch up to her sister before she reached the highway.

"Deity, what happened?" Caden asked. The black haired girl didn't give an answer nor did she slow her pace. They were all invisible to her. Caden knew it now. No one mattered to Deity. It was just her and that was the only person she looked out for. The thought of the whole thing made Caden angry and she sped up and caught Deity's arm spinning the smaller girl around. 

"You think it's all about you, don't you? You think that the only person you have to look out for is yourself and you can just leave whenever you want and cause problems aroundvtown? Leave me to take care of mom while you go out and do whatever you want?"

"Even if I did leave mom in your care, would you take care of her?" Deity yelled. "Would you honestly take care of her or would you leave just like you did last time?" Deity took a step and pushed her older sister back. "Oh, poor little Caden. Her step daddy died and her boyfriend doesn't want to admit that he fucked her brains out so she left. So she ran. She left everything up to Deity. And poor insignificant Deity can barely stay out of trouble let alone keep her mother out of the hospital. That poor girl."

Caden shook her head, furious. She didn't care that Collin and Jon were watching anymore. It had become personal so fast. A police car pulled up behind Deity and Shane stepped out but that still didn't stop her. "Yeah, poor Deity. She let's her boyfriend beat the shit out of her and she wants sympathy from everyone. But when she doesn't get it she has temper tantrums, kind of like the one she is having now. Grow up, Deity" Caden screamed. "Grow the fuck up. Your not the only one that misses him, you know. Have some fucking consideration for others."

Deity laughed but there was no amusement in her voice. "You're telling me to grow up? Me? The one that had to pick up the slack while you were gone—"

"What slack, Dee? There was no slack! There was nothing! I paid for the funeral with my own goddamn money. I paid for your bail out of juvenile hall with my own goddamn money because mom's assets froze but you...your lazy ass couldn't stay out of trouble for a minute. You had to get arrested. You had to do drugs. You had to fuck every guy you see. Why?"

Shane came up behind Deity, cautiously. "Deity, get in the car." His voice was a soft command and for a second it seemed like she would obey it.

"Why? You want to know why, Cady? Because you don't know how hard it was. I loved my daddy. My daddy. Not yours. My father. Not your washed up, drugged up, bastard father. My daddy who stayed with mom and loved her. But you were always the favorite. You could do no wrong. Daddy knew that you and Jon fucked every single night! But he always had an excuse for you two. It was always okay. But I got caught with condoms in my purse and I was grounded for a month. Daddy loved you, always. He loved Jon. He loved Shane; he loved mommy but not me. I was just there. But the guys. Yeah, you know the guys?" Deity glanced back at Shane. "Those guys that I fuck every time I see them? They love me. They come to me for things."

"They don't love you," Shane corrected, disgust weighed heavily in his voice. "Your father loved you more than anything, and if that's your excuse for your behavior, Dee...then you are pathetic." The admittance of his emotion seemed to shock Deity. No just shock her though; it seemed to hit her with force. "I expected more from you but I guess not, huh?" The tall man backed up to his car and got in. "Caden's right, Deity." He started his car and switched it into reverse. "Grow up." And he was gone. 

There was silence on the street, other than Deity and Caden's heavy breathing. "De—" The younger girl raised a hand to stop he sister from speaking. " Shut up. Just shut up." She turned and ran away. C.K. made no attempt to go after her and when Collin did Jon stopped him. "Let her be by herself. She needs to think."

Caden stayed quiet as Jon drove her home. He hadn't really expected her to talk and when he stood with her outside her door he was fully prepared for the barrage of tears that erupted. He held for a while as she emptied her eyes. He soothed her with peaceful reassurances and comments. "It's not okay." C.K. corrected him. He knew it wasn't and when he thought back to it he wasn't sure why he had told her it was. "Just get some sleep," he whispered. Opening the door to her condo and letting her in."You don't wanna come in?" A chill went down Jon's spine at the invite but he kenw there was complete innocence in it. "No," he declined. "But tomorrow...maybe." Jon turned to walk away but stopped. He glanced back at her. "Tomorrow, definitely."

And he walked down the stairs, casually getting into his car, and drove away.



A Gray Area Ch. 16



Cady sat Indian style on one of the two leather chairs positioned in front of her agent's office door. The receptionist at the desk directly in front of her was peeking up over her half moon, horn-rimmed glasses with mild interest as she pretended to staple papers together. 

She felt like she was in a movie. No, not even a movie— she was having flashbacks. The scary kinds you saw in movies when the screen would go all white and then you were magically in the main characters brain, re-living their flashback with them. In Cady's mind, she was sitting in the Dean's office, waiting for her father to come out. The Dean's secretary would sit behind her desk, shooting her glances of disappointment and disapproval. Then her father would come out of the room, his face pale yet stern and the Dean of the school would shadow behind him.

"We have a lot to talk about, young lady," Victor would say, and as if he needed a narrator the Dean would add in, "Me and your step-father, here, have had a long talk about what you did today. I hope when you come back next week, you will be a whole new person." With one final farewell the Dean would shake Victor's hand and give Cady a reassuring pat on the shoulder, as if to say 'take it like a soldier, kid'.

And she would.

She always did.

When Cady came back from her flashback the receptionist was talking to her. "Miss? Molly would like to see you now." Caden nodded and hoisted her bag over her head to the other shoulder and walked towards the door. 

'Take a deep breath and do like the Dean. Take it like a solider.' She lifted her hand to knock but heard "you can just go right in."

Okay. 

'This could be about one of two things,' Cady thought to herself. 'They could be firing me for my indecisiveness or ...' her thoughts were cut short by Molly's cheery Irish accent.

"Oh, Cady! Sit down." They exchanged a brief hug then seated themselves. Caden sat in the chair to the left. The leather moaned uncomfortably under her weight. "You need new chairs, Mol." Caden suggested with a small smile. "Oh, I know, I know. I've been to do that but it keeps slipping my mind." And then she got down to business. "Your new prints just came in," she said. She reached a pale hand under the desk and Caden heard a metal on metal shriek as a drawer opened. It took Molly two hands to heave a large black book onto her desk. She opened it to the last page and turned it around so her client could look in. 

Caden recognized her own prints. Her heart sped up. This was gonna be bad. She never got called in because of her new arrivals.

"Is there something wrong with them?" She asked, faking puzzlement in place of fear. 

"I'm not sure if wrong is the right word but there is something different about them."

If there was something different, Caden wasn't catching it. She stared for a few more seconds before looking at the red-head, feeling like an idiot. "Mol, I was a failure at I Spy when I was a kid. What's wrong with them?"

"Cady...you don't see? You gave me color prints." The Irish woman was elated, barely keeping her smile to herself. "You know how long it's been since I got color prints from you?" She didn't wait for an answer. "Months. More than months, actually. Perhaps a year and a half."

The younger girl nodded, not seeing where the conversation was leading too. "Child, your depression has made you a genius. Possibly a famous genius." Molly leaned over on her desk and pressed the call button on the phone. "Send him in."

Caden felt her heart speed up. She had been the only person in the lobby before or so she had thought. 

"Mol, I don't know what --"

The wooden door opened abruptly, cutting off her words. She didn't want to turn around and see who it was but when her agent stood in greeting Cady followed suit. The new occupant of the room walked to the other side of Molly's desk and gave her a number of kisses on both cheeks before turning to look at C.K. 

She recognized him immediately, and her heart stopped. "Jacques Baker." She said, making little or not attempt at hiding the astonishment in her voice. 

"In the flesh!" Jacques squealed. "Well, hello!" His voice was pitched higher than Cady's and she couldn't help but smile at his high class, New York accent. "This must be her..." he shot Molly an excited look and walked over to the younger girl, embracing her in a back breaking hug. 

Caden didn't return it. She was still shocked. Jacques Baker had just hugged her.

Jacques. Baker. 

One of the most famous art gallery owners in the good ol' U. S. of A had just hugged her--no, suffocated her, and she had loved every second of it. "I'm sure you can figure out why I am here." He took a seat next to Caden. She didn't sit until he crossed his shin over his thigh and patted her seat. 

"No, I really can't." 

Jacques looked disappointed. He glanced at Molly. "You didn't tell her?" Molly shook her head. 

"Good! I will!" he wiggled to the edge of his seat. "I've been looking at your photographs a lot lately; there's just something about them that catches my eye, but anyway. I've been looking at them and I realized--" he stopped and looked up, almost as if watching a cloud pass by in the sky. Caden followed his gaze, only seeing white ceiling. "--this is the kind of thing I want in my gallery. This progression, this ability to display emotions in pictures--it's a gift! And you have it. So..." he moved to the edge of his seat more and Caden leaned forward in preparation to catch him if he slipped off the leather. "I would be honored if you came to New York with me and gave me the privilege of hanging some of your work in my gallery."

There was a long silence before Caden even realized it was her time to speak. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm still waiting for lightning to strike or for me to have a massive stroke or something--are you serious?" Jacques slapped her knee playfully. "Of course I'm serious. I don't joke when it comes to my gallery." C.K. opened her mouth to speak but was cut off. "And I know you previously lived in the Big Apple and you didn't like it, but I promise I will make it worth your while."

Cady meant to speak, she honestly did, but she felt dumbfounded. This was unbelievable; this was a huge shocker; this was what she was waiting for; this was...bad.

This was exactly what Deity had been yelling about last night—leaving and pushing all the slack down on Dee. Caden gritted her teeth. She hated when her younger sister was right—and it was rare that she ever was so the concept made it even worse "Mr. Baker, I'm really sorry, but can I get back to you with an answer?"

"Caden..." Molly gave a sharp whisper of warning. "This is—"

"A once in a lifetime chance. I know, Mol." Cady, looking mildly distressed at her sudden decision, elaborated to Jacques. "I have a lot going on now. Perhaps Molly told you that my mother was recently released from the hospital? She has diabetes and I know my younger sister is not...she isn't exactly what I call a responsible teenager. And—"

Jacques held up a hand. "I understand. I'm leaving in about two weeks so if you make a decision within that time, let me know."

Caden only nodded.

Two weeks was not going to be enough time to make this decision. She already knew that.

"So you're gonna be famous?" Jon whispered into her ear, sending tingles down her spine. "Maybe, maybe not. I have two weeks to make a decision and as of right now..." She sat up on the floor, her elbows holding her up and looked down at him. "Its not looking like a yes." Jon sighed, his hazel eyes glittering in the Cady's dim living room light. 

Just as he had said, he actually decided to come in. They had done dinner (Chinese food, again) and talked about almost everything. Caden stared at the ceiling wondering how it was they had gone from the kitchen, to the hallway, to the living room couch, and down onto the floor, with almost minimal contact. 

'We aren't even touching now,' she thought and slung her arm over his stomach, turning her body so she lay slightly on his side, head on his shoulder, leg slung across his middle. "Now, we're touching."

"Talking to yourself, again?" Jon asked. 

"A little bit. Just trying to form my plan of attack." She smiled, wickedly into his neck and planted a small kiss there. "Plan of attack. Sounds dirty." Caden laughed and sat up, throwing both legs across his middle. Jon slid both his hands behind his head and looked up at her. "Are you gonna leave again?" He asked. The calming mood in the room shifted completely. Cady felt a small pain in her heart. His voice was soft, and delicate, but the question was meant to jar her out of her comfort zone. And it did.

"I don't know yet..." And she didn't. She had planned to forget about it till the last minute. If things got better with her and Dee and her and Jon then maybe she would stay. 

If not? Then at least she could say she tried, right?

Wrong.

"Kitten," he said, his voice coming out stronger. "I don't know," she said again. "Jon, this wasn't supposed to be the topic of conversation tonight. I was hoping to actually put it out of my mind and maybe only think about us and what we're gonna do now. I don't want to think about any major decisions I have to make anytime soon." 

Jon said nothing. He simply watched her as she removed herself from the living room, taking up their empty Chinese food containers with her. From his spot on the floor, he could hear her throwing things away and tossing things in the sink, then washing them. The water ran for a few minute before shutting off abruptly. She shut off the kitchen light and walked back to the living room, but stopped short, her gray eyes meeting Jon's lighter ones. 

'God, he looks so fucking good.' She couldn't help but think to herself. All momentary anger at him, slipped away, like smoke in a breeze. 

His head was tilted back so he looked at her upside down. His body, lean and strong was a straight line outlining her couch. Cady almost forgot that it was Jon she was looking at. She hadn't noticed it before but he had changed so much. He still looked the same but at the same time different. His hair kept its unruly dirty blonde look but his eyes were deeper; he looked almost tired and the hairy shadow across his chin and cheeks only added to the affect.

"What?" she asked, still standing in the same spot, not moving. 

Jon smiled, his teeth another mark of perfection to add to the list. "Nothing. I guess I'm just waiting for your landlady to come by and tell me to keep the blood line pure." Jon opened his eyes wide, mocking the elderly women. His attempt at making her smile worked. One side of her mouth tilted upward. Jon turned over on to his stomach, elbows holding up his upper body. He patted the ground in front of him. "Sit."

She obeyed and tangled her legs, "criss-cross-applesauce," she said, in a small voice. Jon slid close to her, his head almost between her legs. "Kindergarten," he reminisced. "Those were the days." He allowed her fingers to smooth through his hair, massaging the scalp. Slowly, his head fell onto her thigh and he closed his eyes. "You know back in those days, we didn't have twenty year-old men, halfway between our legs, like this." Cady joked, tugging on his hair lightly. Jon snuggled closer to her thigh, delivering light kisses. Cady squirmed and she felt his hands wrap around her waist, holding her steady.

"Ssh," he whispered into her skin. The feeling of his lips and the quick air passing them gave her goose bumps. Instinctively, she tried to move backwards but Jon held her tight, bringing her closer. His buried his face in the junction of her leg and hip. "Jon..."

"Take these off," he pulled at her shorts, giving her an impatient growl.

"...the living room floor?" she asked, her voice a whisper. Jon's only answer was his strong arms pushing her back to the floor. He hoisted her legs up as if she were a baby, having a diaper removed and took off her shorts, allowing his fingers to trail behind the fabric as they slid from her legs. When her legs came back down Jon parted them and placed himself in between. She laughed when he threw her shorts across the room. 

"I better be able to find those in the morning." She threatened. Jon gave her a deviant smile. "Or else?" he laid a kiss on her thigh. Caden squirmed and sighed, excitement taking over her senses. When she didn't answer, he kissed her again, farther up this time. Caden moaned. "Sounds like an empty threat to me." The hazel eyed boy hooked his fingers along the seam of her panties but did not remove them. He merely watched her. He saw her breathing speed up, her chest rise and fall quickly, knowing what he was going to do. "Calm down," he whispered into the fabric. She could feel his breath in the perfect spot. She felt him, where he needed to be. He placed a kiss where he thought she would feel it most and got the response he wanted, her body jerking and shivering. "Off," she begged. He obeyed. Caden felt her body heat up as the cold air touched her intimately. He tossed her underwear in the same direction as her shorts but this time she didn't notice. She was too busy looking at him; watching him as he removed his own shirt.

She slid forward and sat up, her lips meeting his before he even had time to register his own shirt was off. She kissed him hard, this time getting access to the warm cavern of his mouth instead of vice versa. Her hand found a place in the back of his head, bringing him closer. She wanted to taste any and everything he had to give her.

She wanted all of him this time. No haphazardness, no aloneness in the morning-none of it. It was going to be real. If he was there in the morning, sleeping next to her like she always wanted him to be, then she could honestly say that the past was forgotten

Jon's warm hand found its place on her breast, massaging roughly. Her nipples hardened and peaked through her shirt. Jon took full advantage, circling them with his thumb and tugging on them through the thin cotton. His other hand drifted down her stomach to the center of her warmth and found her most sensitive spot. Her body jerked and she cried out. He used his ring and index finger to apart her nether lips and his middle finger flicked her hypersensitive clit quickly.

"Oh, God." Caden breathed. She allowed Jon to push her back down on to the carpet. "Ssh, baby," he whispered to her, kissing her stomach then the underside of her breast as she moaned and writhed. Without warning, he removed his finger from her clit and pushed his first two fingers inside of her, earning her a short gasp. His thumb replaced his middle finger on her clit and this time Caden's body came off the carpet, her back arched. She felt warm lips trail up her body then take in the nipple on her left breast. A warm tongue flicked it back and forth as if it were candy.

Cady thought she would explode. She felt it already, building inside her. The more she tried to push it down and away from her was the more it threatened to spill over. Her inner walls, gripped Jon's fingers. He removed his lips from her nipple and slid down her body. His warm tongue on her clit was a shock to her senses and her orgasm spilled over, uninhibited. 

What little of the carpet she could grab, she held on to for dear life as a year's worth of sexual frustration and tension was released from her body and coated Jon's fingers. 

"Shit," C.K. whispered, as she came back down from a temporary high, still shaking but not as much. Her body jerked when Jon removed his fingers. She felt the warmth of his body as he lay down next to her. He nuzzled into her neck leaving little kisses there. "It's been a while?" He asked. Cady only nodded, eyes closed, lips searching for his blindly. She found them and she tasted herself on his lips. "Jason wasn't anything to brag about..." Her voice sounded weak. Jon couldn't help but get turned on by it. The ache in his cock had been plaguing him since he got there, now it was a full blown pain. His jeans restricted him. 

Cady slid her hands down his chest, stomach, ending at the bulge in his pants. "Why are your pants still on?" She whispered, kissing his once more. Jon smiled against her lips. Without unbuckling them, she slid her small hands past his waistband and gripped him. Jon sucked air between his teeth. She stroked him lightly, taking advantage of what little movement she could get inside the tightened pants. "Just take them off," he groaned.

Caden allowed him to lay back. He undid his buckle, then button, and zipper and slid the restraining fabric halfway down his thighs, along with the boxers, freeing himself. Cady took that as her cue and took over. She straddled his thighs, getting close enough to his cock so he could feel her heat. She gripped him with her fingers, teasing him and Jon whispered something that she didn't quite hear. With a feather light touch, she raked her nails up the underside of him and then back down. 

"Don't tease," He said, finding his voice. Cady smiled at the frustrated look on his face. "I don't have any condoms," Caden whispered. Disappointment surfaced, if eh didn't have any they were both screwed. She had gotten excited about having him inside of her the moment his pants were off. He was bigger than what she remembered; or maybe she had just gotten used to the smaller stuff with Jason. 

"There's a condom in my left pocket." 

Good. She reached in and pulled the small package out. She opened it and placed it on, quickly, her hands shaking. 

Caden straddled his hips, her body still hovering over him, not giving him access yet. "Don't tease me, Cady," he warned her again. He used his hand to grip his cock and aim it upwards and his other to push her down onto him, connecting them. 

He filled her up completely and Cady felt herself heat up to almost more than she could take. Inside her she felt his cock jerk. "Don't move," he gasped. His head was thrown back and eyes closed. A light sheen of sweat dotted his forehead. Caden smiled. She used her thighs to lift herself up on him and then back down. Jon gasped. He made an attempt to grip her hips and stop her but she rose up again and then back down, driving the blonde-haired boy momentarily insane.

They reveled in the feel of each other-Jon sliding in and out of her, her tightness gripping him like her hands were; Caden, loving the feeling of being filled by his length. 

The feeling of each other began to overtake them and Cady found herself, crying out for him as she leaned back, gripping his knees and riding him hard. He plunged upward into her, hands holding onto her thighs, moving her to match his speed. Without warning, he flipped them over-Caden on the bottom, Jon on top. Her legs were wrapped firmly around his waist as he held onto her thighs and thrust into her wildly. 

Jon looked down at Cady, her short hair a mess and her beautiful gray eyes closed. Her lips were parted slightly and every so often, depending on how hard Jon pushed into her, his name would slip through them.

"Kitten," he whispered to her, his voice hoarse. "Look at me."

And when she did, he felt himself explode inside of her, the feeling so strong and cried out. He felt her inside, as she gripped his cock and milked it while she cried out too, yelling his name, her orgasm every bit as powerful as his was.

His body collapsed weakly next to hers, and he pulled her onto his chest. She only moaned a protest, too tired to do anything else. She mumbled something. "What?" Jon lifted his head to her hear. "Take these off." She kicked at his jeans that were still on his legs. "I think I have a bruise from the zipper..." Jon was sure that's what she had said. She had fallen asleep mid-sentence. Jon felt his heart flip. He could still make her do that. 

"Do you wanna go in the bedroom?" he whispered.




A Gray Area Ch. 16



Cady didn't answer. Jon smiled, settling a little into the carpet and pulling the blanket from off the couch. 

"Yeah, me neither."



A Gray Area Ch. 17



"Oh. My. God."

Damn it.

The one thing she had been trying to tell herself to avoid had just happened. "Dear Sweet Jesus—if I were paparazzi, you would so be in deep shit right now." Caden opened her eyes slowly, then closed them back at the blonde haired man looking down at her. "Go away, Collin," a deep voice rumbled before C.K. could say what she wanted to. Warm arms that had been around her previously encircled her tighter, bringing her closer to a firm chest.

The movement of her body brought a dull ache from in between her legs. 

'Oh, yeah.' Caden said to herself. 'I missed that feeling.'

"Get up, you two." Collin ruffled Cady's hair. Unconsciously she swatted at him. "Go away," she groaned.

"How did he get a key to your place, anyway?" She felt warm breath tickle her ear and if she hadn't been so tired, would have laughed. "I don't even pay my own rent, remember? Of course he has a key; this is pretty much his place." She felt Jon give a satisfied nod near her head then roll over on the floor, leaving the blanket on top of her. Which left him...

"Jesus Christ, Jon, if I wanted to see you naked I would ask." 

Caden didn't open her eyes but smiled at the picture she was seeing in her head. Jon, gloriously naked and proud; Collin, disgusted and pretending to look at the paintings he had seen hundreds of times. She heard heavy pats on the floor as Jon retreated to the bathroom, closing the door softly and switching on the shower. Only then did Caden open her eyes.

Collin was watching her, a wicked smile playing on his lips.

"Tired?"

"What do you think?"

"How many times?"

"Twice last night. Two and a half times this morning. Maybe about an hour and a half ago."

There was a small silence.

"Wait...two and a half...a half, Cady are you serious?"

Jon came out the bathroom unannounced, still profoundly naked and his penis hard at half mass. Collin glanced up and then away in shock, this time not saying a word. In the same manner of silence, Jon hoisted C.K. into his arms, cradling her like a sleeping child and walking back into the bathroom. 

"That's like sleeping with my sister, you know?" Collin called.

"Then welcome me to the family," was Jon's answer. He closed the door. Caden was released from his strong arms and immediately pushed up against the door as soon as her feet and the tile touched. Cady smiled as they kissed. "Good morning," she whispered. 

Jon kissed her neck. "Ditto."

They showered together; taking extra care to make sure Collin knew what was going on beyond the white wooden door. "This is going to have to be a quick shower," Cady had said. "We have guests." Jon ignored her and continued his suckling on her nipple. In a matter of seconds she forgot her previous words and her quick shower turned into twenty-five minutes that passed by to quickly.

"Well, hello." Collin greeted the two as they exited Caden's room upon getting dressed. "Should I leave so you guys can cover all the sexual bases in the kitchen too?" Collin seemed annoyed but C.K. knew his sneer was good natured. Jon stopped what he was doing and looked at Caden, who was taking a peek in the fridge, looking for breakfast. As if she felt his eyes on her, she met his gaze. 

"No," was all she said. Her attention returned to the fridge. Jon smiled at the back of her head then at Collin who figured out that his suggestion was actually being considered. "Your sick," Collin mouthed.

"And you're jealous." Jon smiled, popping a grape from Caden's fruit basket into his mouth. "You guys want pancakes?" Cady asked. She emerged from the fridge with eggs and milk cradled in her arms. Collin held up a white paper bag. Oil stains coated the outside. "Got my breakfast here." C.K. glanced at Jon and he nodded. "Pancakes it is..."

"Well, no, Benji called my cell a few minutes ago and he needs Jon for a little while." Jon finished chewing a grape and then said, "For what?" 

"Well, gee, Johnny, I don't know. Maybe he needs you to do some music stuff with him considering you're in a band and he owns a music store. But I could be a little off. He might actually need you to—" Caden tossed a grape at the blonde man, cutting off his sarcasm. Collin squealed and ducked, the purple fruit barely missing his eye. 

"I could have lost an eye," He complained.

"Damn, that's not what I was aiming for." Jon let out a chuckle. "Next time, open your mouth a bit wider. I'm hoping she'll get it lodged in your throat." 

"Caden, let's not forgot who pays your rent. Because I am SUCH a good friend. And Johnny-boy..." Collin leaned up against the counter, a smug smile coloring his fair skin. "You're the last person to talk about hoping to get things lodged in people's throats." 

Caden choked on a grape she had been eating and spit it out. Jon stared for a second until a smile broke out on his face. The smug look on Collin's face became broader. "See what I mean?"

Caden answered by launching a few more grapes at him.

Benji Ashton's music store was abnormally packed. Not that the man didn't get business, he just never got that much. His store specialized in older music. Most of the records he sold were exactly that—records, and not many people owned record players. Although he did supply a fair share of CDs—anything from rock, rap, techno and even disco—his overall state of mind was out of date.

Jon pushed through the crowd at Benji's, making a beeline for the back counter, where Ann Marie was quickly answering questions and handing back CDs. She flipped her hair, giving a quick nod to Jon who leaned on the counter, elbows supporting him, hands folded. He stayed for a few seconds, simply watching.

"No, Johnny. Of course I don't need your help with anything." Her voice was tight with annoyance. She snatched a CD from a customer's hand, swiping it then handing it back. "Oh," Jon said, as if finally acknowledging his surroundings. "Is that what that hair flip was? A call for help?"

The Hispanic girl's smile was sarcastic as she replied, "Gee, Johnny, I'm being pummeled by out of date CDs. Please don't help."

Jon relaxed on the counter even more. "Alright." The blonde haired man gave a smile that made Ann Marie squeal out her agitation. "There's a reason why Benji asked for you..." A customer almost hit her in the face, as he waved a record around, trying to get her attention. "Calm the fuck down! It's not like I don't see you. Ay Dios mio." Jon stood up. Ann Marie had used Spanish. Everyone was in danger when she got that mad. 

He grabbed the swinging record and swiped it on the machine next to her and handed it back. The customer exchanged money and then began his trek to the front door, pushing through body after body. "Thank you." Ann Marie's voice was quiet. She was still angry so Jon skipped out on his next sarcastic comment.

It was scary how after only one night, Jon could already feel Caden when she walked into the room. It was almost as if the whole earth tilted and everyone fell off, leaving just her. She strolled through the front door as if no one blocked it and walked through the crowd towards him with so much confidence that he almost felt jealous. Her hair looked perfect under the fluorescent lights, and from halfway across the room he could make out the gray of her eyes, searching for his hazel ones.

They had made love in the shower that morning and again after Collin left them. In the Kitchen. On the kitchen floor. Just like Collins suggested. She watched him as she walked through the room and Jon felt his insides heat up. She gave him a smile and it reminded him of the look she had given him the night before. Right before she...

Jon dropped the CD he was swiping. It fell to the ground with a loud plastic clap. He dove down to get it and when he came back up, Cady stood in front of his side of the counter. "Ma'am," Jon said. He handed back the customers CD and watched the guy next to C.K. leave. "I'm afraid if you wanna purchase an item, your gonna have to wait in the back of the line like everyone else."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, ma'am. I'm really sorry. I—"

"I actually want to talk to a young man that works here."

"Oh, and what does this 'young man' look like?" Jon leaned on the counter, interested. 

"Well, he's tall, a wannabe blonde, he's a musician so he doesn't always work here and he has gorgeous eyes."

Jon nodded. "And how well do you know this 'young man?'

Cady smiled. "Oh, I know him really well."

"How well?"

"Well enough to know that he likes it when I scream his n—" Jon covered her mouth even though the volume of the store would have drowned out her answer. She smiled under his hand, then licked it. "Ew." He yanked his hand away, laughing out loud. 

A customer waved a CD around. "Hey, will you to love birds give it a rest. I got shit to do." Caden turned to the old man who made the comment. "Like what? Play your CD and die?" The man put his item down and stared at her as if she had struck him. Her gray eyes sparkled as she gave a sweet smile. "That's what I thought."

When she turned back to Jon he was giving her a stern look. "What? He was a prick." She made an attempt to hoist herself up on to the counter and wouldn't have made it over if Jon hadn't reached under her arms and pulled her over. Before her feet touched the floor on the other side of the counter, their lips were locked. Someone in the crowd said 'ew' and Cady would have flicked them off if Jon hadn't grabbed her hand, wrapping it around his back. "You suck," she whispered against his lips. 

"I know, I know. Life's not fair."

"Can we save the dirty talk for the bedroom, children?" Benji Ashton almost poked Jon in the eye with his purple spiked hair as he came out the backroom and pushed them away from the counter. "I have a business to run." 

Benji pulled a megaphone that had been hanging on his belt loop into his hands and pushed the siren button. People throughout the store covered their ears, ducking as if getting closer to the ground would decrease the amount of sound they heard. When the button was released Benji nodded, satisfied. The room was quiet. "Ladies and Gentlemen... For those of you who came for the limited edition Beatles record, we have officially sold out," The room erupted in disappointed groans, the sound overtaking what Benji continued to say. "Shut up!" He had used the megaphone, which proved effective. "Thank you," he said, taking his lips away from the receiver. "Please exit my store, go home and bid on the last one on EBay." 

The shuffling of feet was deafening as deafening as people rushed out the door. When the store was clear, only three people were left in the store other than Jon, Ann Marie, Cady and Benji. It took Jon a few seconds to get used to the hum of silence. A customer in the back, wearing a fancily designed hat clacked through the CD's breaking the constant quiet.

"Whose soul did you sell to get that much business," Cady asked Benji. Ann Marie snickered. Jon laughed. "Yours. Why? Have you been looking for it?" Ann Marie let a healthy laugh burst from her and Jon receded back into a smile.

He took the moment as an opportunity to wrap his arms around, planting a small kiss on her forehead. 

"I knew it." Benji sighed. He pulled his number books from under the counter and flipped through them, obviously making an attempt to ignore the two. "How did you know?" Ann Marie asked. 

"Because. It's Jon and its Caden. I mean, Cady comes back, who else is she gonna hook up with other than—" Benji thrust his arms out in front of his almost as if to say 'Ta-daa'. "—Jon." He let his head fall back down to look at his books. "Sounds to me like someone is jealous," Ann Marie accused. She leaned against the counter, placing her hands on her hips. Her facial expression almost dared him to deny it. "Jealous of what? Jon?" Benji scoffed. "The whole town knows I'm hotter than him." It was Caden's turn to laugh this time. Benji glanced back at her. "You laugh because it's true." 

The customer with a fancy hat approached the counter. He placed his CD down and took off his hat, running a hand through his semi-long black hair. Ann Marie used her hip to pu8sh herself up to a standing position from her lean and took the CD, still enjoying the conversation between the new couple and Benji. "Nine eighty-nine, sir." She glanced at the customer quickly, flashing a small smile that soon faded. Blue eyes looked at her and a smile began to form on the customer's face. Ann Marie gave a similar reaction that soon erupted into a full on squeal of happiness. A squeal that interrupted the conversation behind her. 

"Oh, my God!" She said, jumping up and down, finally ending up on the counter, hugging the customer. 

From where Jon and Caden stood, it would have looked as if he were being suffocated if his arms hadn't been wrapped just as tightly around her. "Oh, my God!" The Spanish girl said again. "It's Michael! Michael's back in town!"

It was almost like getting hit by a bus but not as slow motion. Cady had seen the hugging and heard the squealing. As far as that part was concerned she had felt normal. No slo-mo; no awkward voice from the beyond or light from above. Nada. It was actually pretty fast. One moment she had been in Jon's arms—those warm arms, tight around her. She had let herself drown in that for a little while, the feeling semi-new despite the fact she had just had a boyfriend. It had distracted her. So when she actually heard who the hugger-in-return was, it had been like getting hit by a bus. 

"Michael Brosier is back in town!" 

Like that was something to celebrate? 

Cady wanted to throw a CD at the Hispanic girl. She wanted to throw a CD at Michael. She wouldn't have even minded if Jon had a few CDs lodged in his head because as soon as the name was ripped from Ann Marie's throat, Jon released her. He let his warm arms fall away and reach for Michael's cold hands.

They had to be cold. 

It was only fitting that Satan's hands would be freezing. 

Cady watched in stunned silence as Jon clasped hands with his long time friend. His long time friend that had almost raped Caden.

'Suck my fucking cock.'

His long time friend that had almost raped Caden and Jon still didn't know about it. No one did. Well, Deity did but where the hell was she? Shane sort of knew but not enough to make assumptions as to who.

"Michael, you remember Caden, right?"

Fuck. 

The black haired man turned his attention to her. As if he had ice vision, Cady began to feel cold as those blue orbs settled on her. A knowing flicked flashed through them and Cady felt her stomach roll. "Yeah, I remember her."

And it was disgusting because he did. He remembered everything and Jon just didn't know. It was like a twisted inside joke.

He put his hand out—he actually put his hand out— for a handshake. Only because Jon watched her with expectant eyes did she step forward and clasp his hand. They shook twice and she slipped her fingers from his grip but not before he caught them. "Stay still—what was it? Kitten?" Caden caught herself before her legs buckled. No one noticed, thank God. She looked like she had a hiccup instead of catching herself from fainting. "Let me get a good look at you." And he did.

To everyone else it looked like he was trying to remember her. But Caden knew better. She knew what those demon eyes were doing: looking into her soul. Shifting through her body like some sort of disease. Her skin prickled so she released his hand. "I'm glad you two remember each other." Jon admitted. 

Once again his arms found their way around her waist but this time she didn't want them there. With a small shove she pushed him away. Jon looked at her. "I'm gonna go in the back. See if I can get some stuff done." 

The worry that had formed in Jon's eyes dissipated. He believed her. 

Good.

She didn't think she was ready to tell anyone yet.

As Cady crossed the threshold of the back room, she felt a wave of nausea hit her and it took all her strength not to heave. 

'He didn't rape you,' Deity had said that night.

'But it felt like he did. It felt like what he did and what he didn't do are exactly the same,' had been C.K.'s reply. And it felt like that now. It felt like he had something over on her. And Jon was completely oblivious to it. With the thought of him came the remembrance of the betrayal she had felt that night. 

That night, Jon had passed out on the concrete, completely unaware of what he had unleashed upon her. He might as well have been passed out on the concrete right now, with the way he had looked at her back in the store, his eyes lit up and excited.

God, he had no clue.

Cady felt her stomach take another dive. Now that Michael was in town, something was bound to happen. She could feel it.

This wasn't going to end well.